#even if his claims especially in Hopes are valid

[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Pack Chapter 10

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, talks of heats and ruts.

Chan sat at the table feeling worried. He was nervous about letting Y/N into Jeongin's room, but he trusted them both. He worried that Jeongin would be too rough with her and she wouldn't like it. "Hey! You made Y/N promise to call one of us if it got too much for her." Changbin assured as he nudged his alpha. "I know. I guess I'm worried about it being too much for her. Sex is almost new for her again, after what they did to her. I don't want her to get upset." Chan growled, his chopsticks being thrown onto the table. They were all worried about being too much for her during intercourse. Even Changbin worried that he might be too much for her in the future. "I think if we ease her into it and learn what she likes and doesn't like it might help her to feel safe with us when she does want to mate with us." Felix piped up. As much as Felix had thoughts about burying himself into her, he didn't want to upset her in any way. "Lix is right. If Y/N feels intimidated or afraid you might traumatize her." Hyunjin stressed. "Agreed," Chan stated as he watched Minho open some windows. The smell of Jeongin and Y/N's arousal started to consume the house. As much as the wolves loved to smell Y/N's arousal, smelling their pack members arousal was not exactly very arousing for them.

Jisung got up to grab some candles, hoping it would add some kind of scent distraction for them while they ate the rest of the food Y/N deliciously cooked. "Hyunjin. Question?" Seungmin asked as he looked at the brown-haired wolf. "What?" Hyunjin answered back, waiting for a remark from the younger beta. "You've had sex with Y/N? What are her boundaries? What does she like?" Seungmin asked. It was an honest question, but Hyunjin didn't see it like that. He saw it as invasive. A private question that should not be asked or even considered a thought. Chan, however thought it was a good idea to declare something so they knew when not to take it too far. The thing was Hyunjin had only ever been with her three times and they were very vanilla. This was mainly down to the fact Hyunjin was inexperienced and very much not interested in sex back then, but he knew what the others did to her, especially Wooyoung. He was always jealous of Hyunjin and tried to do everything to keep her away. It was mainly because of Hyunjin's power. Still, Hyunjin only knew a few things about her sexual interests. One was that she had a very good pain tolerance, but that was also down to her resilience. Then there was biting or cumming all over her, but that was subjective to each wolf. Every wolf had a different reaction with her because it depended on their connection with her.

Chan and the other wolves thought that was a valid response, but it was still good to know when they needed to draw the line. Some of them didn't like the idea of biting all over her. Mainly Jisung, Changbin and Felix who remembered what she looked like when she first came here. Seungmin on the other hand had a weird claiming kink and it wasn't surprising to the wolves he was desperate to get her in his room. Chan on the other hand stressed again he didn't want anyone cumming inside of her yet until she had a few heats and her body was stable. This was because Chan didn't want to disrupt her body by being on werewolf contraception. "Talking of heats and ruts. Who's next?" Jisung asked. "Um, Minho are you in the next few weeks?" Chan asked. His memory wasn't very good but he knew he had their cycles written down. "Yeah," Minho said awkwardly. He was rather private when it came to his ruts. "So then after Minho, Seungmin and Changbin should be next year because you two are freakishly in sync," Chan stated as he shook his head causing the two betas to laugh. Seungmin and Changbin were weirdly in sync and no one knew why. They rutted either the same day or a day apart so they had to rut in separate places. "I'm due soon," Felix muttered quietly. "Oh yeah, after you got sick months ago. You could be anytime." Chan stated as he remembered that time Felix accidentally got sick after catching a werewolf virus from his friend. It nearly caused them all to be sick. Seungmin looked at Felix and snickered as he thought back to the time they overstimulated the poor female wolf and they couldn't keep up. "What?" Felix asked. "What do you think our little wolf will be like on her first heat," Seungmin asked, causing Felix to shake his head. The other wolves laughed as they thought about how challenging she was going to be. "Considering how you two couldn't keep up tells me you're not going to be helpful." Hyunjin teased. "If she doesn't pick on them." Chan laughter. "When it happens we will cross that bridge, but do not embarrass her alright." Chan's warning didn't go unnoticed and the wolves nodded their head in submission. They would not make her feel an ounce of discomfort or embarrassment. They knew omegas could be sensitive and considering her sensitivity it may be heightened.

The wolves chatted as normal and started playing a board game while playing music to drown out the noises upstairs. It wasn't that they didn't want to hear their mate being pleasure, they wanted to be respectful. Even though some concerned eyes would look up to the ceiling when they heard a certain scream or growl, but they couldn't do anything. Y/N had promised she would call Chan or another wolf if she wanted out. "Do you think she's alright?" Jisung asked nervously. "She would have called Chan by now," Hyunjin stated. "Have you guys been upstairs?" Changbin asked as he came down the stairs, breaking the concerned discussion. "What why?" Chan asked, getting up from his seat, ready to go to his omega. "There's mistletoe all over our doors. I think there's Christmas shit in our rooms too." Changbin stated causing Chan to frown. "Felix!?" Chan scolded causing the blonde wolf to raise his hands in defence. "It smells like Minho was with her." Changbin mischievously said causing the wolves to look at him. Minho stood there with an innocent look on his face as Chan crossed his arms in annoyance. "Seriously," Chan stated. "You didn't see her face. I couldn't say no." Minho defended as he thought back to her beautiful silver eyes begging him. "What is she? Puss in boots?" Changbin laughed, causing Jisung to spit out his drink. It was true, the minute she pouted her grey eyes would draw you in. "Anyway, that's not another problem we have. I think Jisung has come inside her because I heard him and I quote word for word, 'I'm going to fucking breed you! Take my cum'. He's disgusting." Changbin stated causing Chan to growl.

Chan had not expected Jisung to be so stupid but he couldn't exactly throw him off of her and punish him. Chan had to make a decision. Does he punish Jeongin now or later? At the same time, he needed to make sure Y/N wouldn't get pregnant which was still unlikely but the possibility was there. In the end, Chan called Jaehee for an emergency pill, which resulted in an earful from Jaehee for their idiocy, even though it was Jeongin's fault, Chan got the brunt of it. He still got in trouble as soon as Jaehee was in the house. "How could you let him be so stupid? Her body hasn't balanced yet." Jaehee shouted as she threw the box at Changbin's head. "It's not my fault," Changbin whined. "Oh grow up. You're twenty-five and a training medic.!" Jaehee scolded. "I'm not the one fucking her!" Changbin defended. "Seriously. Are you all that desperate for her!? Huh? Even you Chan couldn't wait with a bloody poisoned wound." Chan pinched his nose at the older woman's attitude. Chan understood why Changbin was scared of her when she was angry. Her voice was gritty when she was angry and it sent shock waves up their spine. Jaehee held a dominating aura even though she wasn't an alpha. It was quite impressive. "I will go and deliver this now," Changbin said as he scurried off to deliver the pill to Jeongin's room, but ended up getting an awful growl from a predatorial Jeongin. "I wouldn't go in there. Poor baby is chained up." Changbin sighed causing the wolves to look up. "What is wrong with you all." Jaehee shook her head in disgust as she looked at the heathenous wolves. They were not going to change. If anything they were going to get worse.

Taglist for the iconic readers:

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~ Taglist closed due to Tumblr only allowing a certain amount ~

[randomnameless]

I can't believe I missed your post :'(

Post timeskip, they go through the motions of starting a sword fight, but then just kinda… stop and… part ways… Not sure if Edelgard’s rather under-played delivery is part of the issue.

Yep, for the crux of the emotional roller coaster the devs wanted to pull... this is pretty shallow -

i am a bit biased, but if you build a house on shaky foundations, it's going to crumble, and it's the same here - why would/should the player feel upset aout fighting her, when she effectively declared her war and is the reason why Billy was sleeping for 5 years?

Welcome to Fodlan's Post Timeskip, which can be called an alternate universe at this point : plot threads are dropped faster than a bowling ball - characters do not react to the plot, and we're stuck in a marshmallow of a spectacle, with the game sometimes, through musics and forced dialgues, tells us how we should feel, regardless of whatever happened in the first part of the game (White Clouds).

Man, her dad looks very ill. The implication of her dialogue is that it’s because of the “burden of the throne” but eeeeh

Bear in mind poor Ionius is yeeted out from 3 Hopes, and he was supposed to have died shortly after this scene in the FE16 canon iirc.

Some people surmised he had some link or another to the experiments Edel herself suffered (maybe he tried to be a test subject) but given how Ionius's plan, before being defanged by his nobles, was to concentrate power on himself, I suppose he didn't caught that "illness" yet when he was making those plans?

Normally, the archbishop should act as a witness to the ceremony, though iirc the original JP script just had "bishop"...?

The Church of Seiros and Adrestia were supposed to be super close a long time ago (Seiros helped Wilhelm, the first Emperor, to create Adrestia after all!), but the relationships between the Empire and the Church became more and more, uh, distant with the years.

"By the covenant between the red blood and the white sword”

I swear at first I didn't catch the dick/sword joke, but then, I cannot unsee it anymore

Both Hubert in their support and Ionius IX here frame it as Edelgard being “stolen away to the Kingdom” but like, no, her mom took her there? And from what I understand, Edelgard was perfectly fine there. The real issue was when Thales posing as Arundel brought her back. But it seems that Edelgard doesn’t actually remember that stuff, so are they purposefully lying to her?

IIRC it wasn't her mother who took her there, but her Uncle (the real one before being Thales'd).

Now, the game is never explicit about the events that transpired back then - Hubert and Ionius have one version, from AM we learn another version from Cornelia about Anselma/Patricia's (Edel's mom) POV while Edel herself never comments about those events.

Presumably, Volkhard tried to put his niece to safety during the events of the Insurrection - but who was also heavily implied to have prioritised his son over 1000 years of inherited loyalty during the Insurrection? Arundel and Vestra Sr (Hubert's dad) both put the safety of children first over their loyalty to Ionius, and turned against him.

Now, why did they do this... was Ionius going to harm children (even his own daughter???), or were they afraid they could die during the Insurrection (but then, Ferdinand never left Enbarr while being his father's heir)... We will never know.

As for who is lying to who, in SS you can unlock the Ferdinand/Lysithea (i know) paralogue, where they basically tell you another version of the Insurrection, rather, they give a more nuanced POV about Duke Aegir, the former Prime Minister, than the one Edel always gives... Again, the games never do anything with this, but given how Edel was able to forgive and ultimately turn the other conspirators (Caspar's dad, Linhardt's dad) to her side, but had Aegir Sr immediately arrested, I guess she and her dad really don't like Duke Aegir. Why? Whoever knows.

Edelgard’s first act: putting Duke Aegir in his place and basically imprisoning him in the palace (?)

Yep, he is immediately jailed. In 3 Hopes he has a bit more spotlight (even if he never reveals his reasons for turning against Ionius) and the Ferdie paralogue has basically him escape from his jail, only to run away and happen on an angry mob...

Also, idk if you've noticed it, but during the entire cutscene, but especially when Aegir is arrested, Edel is flanked by at least two soldiers/generals.

Ionius IX and Edelgard both keep referring to how the fate of Fodlan is in her hands now, which is kind of lol given that she’s technically only taking over one of three countries in Fodlan

:)

I made an earlier Lion King meme about it, but both Edel and her dad really miss that time when Adrestia ruled over Fodlan, as so, they both want to return to those days and thus, conquer the rest of Fodlan to make it all "Adrestian" again.

To both Ionius and Edel, the other countries don't exist, they are parts of Fodlan who should, and will, be part of Adrestia.

evil henchguy states clearly that they’re here to take the Crest Stones, and also the bones. Oh boy!

So many discourse could have been avoided if people bothered to notice Metodey explicitely mentionned the bones because both Edel and Metodey most likely know what they are stealing, they're not only stealing shiny rocks, but also bones of dead beings to use them as weapons.

Obviously, Rhea's not happy about this, even if the delivery of her line vastly differs between the ENG dub and the JP dub (in the jp version, Rhea's more panicked!).

She’s their Emperor, so by disobeying her, they’re functionally all traitors. In general, I’m surprised we do battle with her initially and only choose whether to side with her after being ordered to kill her directly

Oh I never thought about this under this angle!

Yes, she could basically have told them to drop their weapons else she'll consider them traitors to the Empire!

But tbh, the main focus of that scene was the Flamey reveal - Edel might be their Emperor, but she is also the figure that has been trying to kill them (and killed peons+Jeralt) for the last year - so maybe the game thought that those characters (the BE members) would of course fight against the Flame Emperor, regardless of their identity? And if they were truly on the Flame Emperor's hitlist or opposed Edel's plans as the Flame Emperor, they are already opposing the Emperor, thus already traitors?

Edelgard never really tries to recruit you and isn’t at all surprised that you stand against her. Ngl, I expected a “join me and we can rule the galaxy together” pitch

It's explained in more details in Crimson Flower, but basically she expected Byleth to side with Rhea because Byleth is, at this point for her at least, a non-human, and non-humans would of course side with each other.

(regardless of the other reasons Byleth might have to refuse to join her, but that's never brought up in CF)

all the BE kids are like “so what if she’s the Emperor, we’re just gonna do our own thing” but without actually confronting what they’re doing. (Update: Hubert at least obliquely threatens Ferdinand if you attack him, with “you have people you care about in the empire, right? think about what’ll happen to them if you stand with the Church”)

Petra's paralogue changes, if you are in CF or if you are not - in the non CF routes, she has to help Brigid fighters against Imperial troops who are, uh, stationned there - but in CF, you have to kill Church soldiers who tried to ask Brigid not to join forces/be a puppet of the Empire, in the non CF routes, Hubert mentions a "diplomatic errand" to Brigid and is here to remind whoever is fighting against him that Brigid is a vassal of the Empire...

But she says so, so it must be true! /s

Church wants to rule Fodlan!” and “Church split up the empire to make kingdom and alliance, all to set us against each other” which, I cannot emphasize enough, doesn’t really come across as an issue when there’s no major history of conflict between the nations. The only actual post-independence conflict was the Hrym-Ordelia business which barely gets mentioned and is also the Empire’s own fault…

The gold and extravagance thing is just nonsense too.

The Church had no say in the Crescent Moon War (the War where the Alliance became a thing) and... in the DLC, you have a novel set in the early days of the Empire where "northerners" being torn apart by wild beasts was a spectacle for wealthy Adrestians. Sure, it's a novel so it might not totally be close to reality, but you just have to wonder why this was left here... Faerghus started a war of independance, killed defeated the Emperor of that time but, instead of marching on Enbarr, asked to be recognised as a country, and the CoS accepted it.

Of course, this sparked 3 (4?) years of discourse in certain areas but... yep, that war speech is rich, especially coming from the person who assured her Dad that she was going to look after "Fodlan" and not only the country she inherits - who wants to rule over Fodlan ? The Church?

Seteth says that Edelgard “demanded her own father relinquish the throne” but like… I was at her coronation. They either got lazy copy-pasting dialogue from other routes or assumed you’d totes side with her if you saw that scene

Seteth most likely only heard hearsays - even if, in a way, she did ask her dad for the crown?

Granted, like I noted above, the fact that several soldiers were at her side during this coronation imo doesn't make me believe she "demanded" the crown from her father, but "demanded, backed up by an army" power over the Empire to Aegir, who was supposed to have it, and he couldn't refuse.

However, this is just conjecture since nothing that happened in this scene, or in Adrestia in general, is developed in the Post TS.

Rhea in particular fluctuates between clearly considering Sothis her mother and her loss as a very personal one, and speaking of Sothis as her goddess and a much more detached authority figure

Ah for this I can reply!

The devs gave an interview in early 2020 about it, Rhea doesn't only want Sothis back because Sothis is her mother, but first and foremost, she wants Sothis back because Sothis is the Progenitor God :

Kusakihara: Actually, in the beginning cutscene, there is a one-cut of Sothis looking down, and it was for that, a character design sheet for her was needed. As for Rhea’s tenacity, there is actually stuff that was written that did not make it in. For Rhea, Sothis is not just her mother, but also the Creator, and therefore she has goals beyond just wanting to meet her mother. This is the foundation of Rhea’s mind/heart

You'll see it in more details (uh, iirc it's only one line) at the end of SS, but basically, Rhea thinks she can recover "everything" she has lost if Sothis returns.

Dimitri has mysteriously come to the conclusion that Edelgard is responsible for Duscur.

I don't remember that plot point very well and jury's still out whether some events happening in other routes also happen here, but Dimitri had his doubts about the Flame Emperor, and in AM, there is a special event where he basically witnesses Thales saying to the Flame Emperor that Duscur was done for her sake.

time to kill off some children. I want no one coming to the promise day.

aww, no paralogues then?

They have creepy masks and hold “Pointy Art(ificial) Crest Stones” which are “artificial Crest Stones with a distorted shape, produced in the Empire.” They have enormous wings that are even a barrier ability (lol) and are noted as being very swift.

Agarthans and Imperial scientists refined the results Solon got with random students making random black beasts, and managed to get some with wings!

Granted, we don't know how many "tries" it took them to reach that new prototype, nor how many people died in the attempt. Worry not though, the game never gives a fuck about demonic beasts.

In his real form lmao, wonder if anyone noticed how their commander changed out for another dude somewhere along the line

Apparently no one caught Rhea transforming, too, so maybe no one was really paying attention to them?

OK, onto SS choice and the timeskip!

Due to when they let you save, I've actually played into the very start of the war phase, so I'll just say it here. I was kind of disappointed by how limp-wristed the whole Edelgard situation is? I expected some more "join me and we shall rule Fodlan" kind of thing, but Edelgard is very neutral and almost disinterested about it. Oh, you're not joining her? Oh well.

The Byleth relationship with Claude is rather detached because he has so little stakes in Fodlan and keeps hiding his actual background and motives for so long, but like the tradeoff is that they have no actual beef or conflict and just cooperate well. I kind of thought Edelgard would be more emotionally charged in some way and she... isn't really? Post timeskip, they go through the motions of starting a sword fight, but then just kinda... stop and... part ways... Not sure if Edelgard's rather under-played delivery is part of the issue. I'm not saying her voice actress is bad, but she doesn't really sell the character imo.

Anyway, I am as ever unimpressed by Edelgard.

Live blogging notes:

Edelgard going to Enbarr to be crowned is a secret.

Man, her dad looks very ill. The implication of her dialogue is that it's because of the "burden of the throne" but eeeeeh

Normally, the archbishop should act as a witness to the ceremony, though iirc the original JP script just had "bishop"...?

"By the covenant between the red blood and the white sword"

Man... Both Hubert in their support and Ionius IX here frame it as Edelgard being "stolen away to the Kingdom" but like, no, her mom took her there? And from what I understand, Edelgard was perfectly fine there. The real issue was when Thales posing as Arundel brought her back. But it seems that Edelgard doesn't actually remember that stuff, so are they purposefully lying to her?

It seems like Ionius IX saw his children experimented on. Edelgard mentions seeing him clench his fists until they bled.

Edelgard's first act: putting Duke Aegir in his place and basically imprisoning him in the palace (?)

Ionius IX and Edelgard both keep referring to how the fate of Fodlan is in her hands now, which is kind of lol given that she's technically only taking over one of three countries in Fodlan.

Oh, interesting. In GD (and I believe BL), you fight the Flame Emperor in the Tomb and then break their mask, revealing Edelgard. But here, Edelgard walks in as herself from the beginning and willingly reveals her identity.

Her wehehe evil henchguy states clearly that they're here to take the Crest Stones, and also the bones. Oh boy!

It's interesting that Edelgard can't just order her classmates to stand down. She's their Emperor, so by disobeying her, they're functionally all traitors. In general, I'm surprised we do battle with her initially and only choose whether to side with her after being ordered to kill her directly.

Despite what I kind of expected, Edelgard never really tries to recruit you and isn't at all surprised that you stand against her. Ngl, I expected a "join me and we can rule the galaxy together" pitch. Kinda disappointed...

Yeah, all the BE kids are like "so what if she's the Emperor, we're just gonna do our own thing" but without actually confronting what they're doing. (Update: Hubert at least obliquely threatens Ferdinand if you attack him, with "you have people you care about in the empire, right? think about what'll happen to them if you stand with the Church")

Edelgard's big speech is like "Church wants to rule Fodlan!" and "Church split up the empire to make kingdom and alliance, all to set us against each other" which, I cannot emphasize enough, doesn't really come across as an issue when there's no major history of conflict between the nations. The only actual post-independence conflict was the Hrym-Ordelia business which barely gets mentioned and is also the Empire's own fault... The gold and extravagance thing is just nonsense too.

Oh, lmao. Seteth says that Edelgard "demanded her own father relinquish the throne" but like... I was at her coronation. They either got lazy copy-pasting dialogue from other routes or assumed you'd totes side with her if you saw that scene.

The tone Rhea and Seteth take in regard to the "progenitor god" is a bit weird because Rhea in particular fluctuates between clearly considering Sothis her mother and her loss as a very personal one, and speaking of Sothis as her goddess and a much more detached authority figure.

Ferdinand says that half of the six big noble families declared support for Edelgard. Hubert's dad was assassinated, Bernie's dad is under house arrest and his wife is siding with Edelgard in his stead, and Ferdie's dad his been stripped of his PM position, his rank, and his lands.

Huh, a bunch of the church units auto-recruited.

You can recruit Hilda here, though I don't have enough of... probably axe ranks.

Dimitri has mysteriously come to the conclusion that Edelgard is responsible for Duscur. The month before, his explore dialogue was about how he hasn't been sleeping.

Anyway, time to kill off some children. I want no one coming to the promise day.

It is unexpectedly hard. Normal mode is so easy you have to be trying to lose on purpose, and even then it's hard to do.

The battle starts with the enemy already within the walls (Outer Wall on the map location). The Church is holding out for reinforcements that come in through the left and right entrances, but they are first taken by Imperial forces (Death Knight on the left, Hubert on the right), which have to be cleared out.

There are "Onagers" (basically catapults) that archers can use to fire in the town and "Fire Orbs" that mages can use next to the monastery inner walls.

There are two Winged Demonic Beasts with the Imperial forces. They have creepy masks and hold "Pointy Art(ificial) Crest Stones" which are "artificial Crest Stones with a distorted shape, produced in the Empire." They have enormous wings that are even a barrier ability (lol) and are noted as being very swift.

Rhea's class is Archbishop, she's using the Sword of Seiros (which is also mentioned in the class description lol) and Seiros Shield (interesting point: halves monster damage). She's got A in sword, reason, faith, and leadership, B in fists, but nothing in axes or bows, and only a D in lances. Her abilities include Sacred Power (gives boost to allies and lowers damage taken) and Charm. Walking buff point, I see.

After we repel them, Edelgard sends in the reserve troops and signals Arundel (Thales). (He comes in with more Demonic Beasts and also attacks Byleth and Rhea with dark magic... in his real form lmao, wonder if anyone noticed how their commander changed out for another dude somewhere along the line.)

I saw this before, but why does Claude fight with a sword in cutscenes? Sword here and sword in the Fort Mercius scene against Nader too. Also, funny that he and Dimitri are hanging out together for some reason.

Note that Byleth swings and extends the Sword of the Creator with enough force to shatter a Demonic Beast's mask and bodily throw it off the Immaculate One. Like, dang... those things are big and heavy??

[inbarfink]

Okay, so I already wrote a bunch of stuff about how that scene, although it is really sweet, is also kind of a Bad Sign for Simon - how he refuses to learn the Obvious Lesson from the Winterworld adventure (that being the Ice King again is probably a really really bad idea). But I want to talk about it also a little more about what it means for Fionna’s character as well. 

Because while sitting around and wallowing in self-loathing is probably bad for Fionna, especially after being told that she shouldn't be allowed to exist, and Simon is right to try and get her out of her funk. It's also still worthwhile for Fionna to have some introspection about the Consequences of Her Actions. Because she and Cake really did not consider them at all at first. They have a sense of morality and an instinct towards heroism, but they also tend to kinda forget the fantastical worlds they visit don’t exist entirely for their fantasy and have kind of a Protagonist-Centered-Morality fallacy. 

Most obviously you can see it in the market in Ooo. How Cake, in her excitement, damaged and hurt and even killed

A bunch of innocent marketgoers without even noticing. And then Fionna immediately jumped to Cake’s defense against these ‘weirdos’, who were actually just normal kinda-righteously-angry Oooian citizens.

It’s actually very similar to the whole Winterworld situation. Fionna’s assumption that she’s automatically the hero and protagonist of the story and black-and-white view of the situation and her tendency to kick ass first and ask questions later meant that she just recklessly injured a lot of innocent people.

(It might’ve been worse actually cause at least in Winterworld she was at least manipulated by an evil Wizard)

Fionna and Cake clearly have a great potential for heroism, but they do need to be a bit more considerate of the situation and people around them. And it does make sense considering that from their perspective - they’ve been living a very ordinary life up until now (and Cake was literally an animal. A very clever animal, but still not bound by the same standards of morality as the talking animals in Ooo). Action and adventure and fantasy stuff has been purely the realm of daydream and video games for them - and Fionna literally speaks about it in these terms.

(also, Fionna's Main Character Syndrome was undoubtedly validated when God literally told her that she was created to be the main character of her universe)

So yeah, it takes them some time to really process how to be heroes - they need to grapple with questions that Finn and Jake already kinda dealt with seventeen years ago. And actually a lot of those; how to resolve a situation without necessarily using violence, when does a 'villain' actually deserve sympathy and kindness, the importance of the larger context of any given conflict... their confrontations with Ice King all played a big part in that. It was never just him, but he was still a very major part.

And for Fionna and Cake right now, learning these lessons require some amount of personal introspection. So while it was a sweet attempt at comforting, I dunno if Simon’s little ‘the only problem with that universe is that this Alternative Me was terrible because he didn’t even acknowledge or remember Betty as the love of our life and the light of my entire universe’ thing is actually Good. 

I’m not quite sure Simon is the best person to teach Fionna and Cake heroism 101, because he is so focused on the Crown Quest as the thing that brings back Meaning to his life, and because his fatherly instincts just kinda go “Sad Young Person???? MUST GIVE COMFORT!” and also on account of the kidnapping.

I’m sure Fionna is going to become the heroine she dreams about eventually, it’s just going to be a bumpy ride. The best we can hope for is that they accept Simon’s comfort, that she doesn't start believing that she is nothing but an Error for the entire universe like the Scarab claims, but don’t necessarily listen to all of Simon's his words either.

[anyydidi]

WRITING THIS POST BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE MISCHARACTERIZING FORD!!!!!!!!!

Before we begin, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you really think Ford wouldn't truly care, you do you.

That being said, I feel like people who claim that Ford wouldn't do a single thing to bring Stan back if their places were switched do not understand his character at all.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that he would open the portal. At least not right away. The one thing I agree with is that Ford wouldn't put the life of his brother above the whole planet like Stan did. He realizes the threat of the portal and Bill too much to do that.

But have people forgotten that Ford also loves his brother? Yeah, he was angry, bitter and resentful, but he wouldn't have just let Stan die in the multiverse. Especially since that would be entirely his fault he got stuck there in the first place.

For people thinking, "But Ford was too blinded by rage! He didn't care for Stan until after Weirdmaggedon!", have you seen the show? Have you read the journal? Through everything that happened, Ford kept a photo (tattered and worn, obviously taken out a lot) of him and his brother in his left, inner breast pocket which is the one closest to the heart. If that wasn't enough, for those who haven't read the journal, Ford kept reminiscing about and mentioning his brother before the portal incident. Even though those lines were often crossed out, it was obvious that at least unconsiously he had Stan in mind a lot. And at the end of the journal, it is written that he worked day and night, to the point of passing out, to bring Stan's memories (and essencially Stan himself) back. (Oh and have we forgotten about the absolutely shattered expression he had when he erased Stan's memories? You don't look like that for a person you don't deeply care about).

Still not enough to believe that Ford cared about Stan before Stan's sacrifice?

Let's talk about the fact that when Ford was at his lowest, that being paranoid, sleep deprived, tortured by Bill, drowned in guilt, and completely alone, he reached out to Stan? He says it himself, "I needed help, someone I could trust." After everything, he still trusted Stan to an extent and believed him to be his last hope. You don't give trust like that to people you truly hate.

Ford was self-absorbed and egocentric, but also hurt and betrayed. That feeling came from a misconception, but that doesn't make it any less valid. It is understandable that he acted towards Stan the way he did, with venom and bitterness. But we can be angry at people we love and still care for their well-being.

How I said earlier, I don't think Ford would really open the portal. He wouldn't risk the entire world for Stanley. But I do think he would do anything in his power to be able to bring Stan back safely. You cannot be telling me that he'd be able to live with the guilt and not do anything about it if he could. After all, in his head, it would be his fault. He got tricked by Bill, he built the portal, he made Stan come to him and showed him the portal and he wasn't able to let go of the journal and fought Stan for it. I'm convinced he'd still throw some blame at Stan for some of the fight to make himself feel better at first, but after some time he would just blame himself completely (the same way I think Stan did with the science fair incident). The guilt for all of that would eat him alive.

Let's not forget, Stanley worked for 30 years, basically half his life to bring Stanford home and I believe Ford would be willing to do the same. He would just go about it differently. He would either try to get rid of the threat of Bill and then be willing to upgrade the portal and turn it on again, or maybe try to find a completely different way to get Stan back from the multiverse, or in the end something entirely different, I'm not fully sure.

What I am sure of is that Ford wouldn't just let Stan be stranded in the multiverse without doing absolutely nothing. Maybe he wouldn't succeed, maybe Stan would actually have to find his own way back home because Stanford wouldn't be able to find a solution without risking their entire universe. But Ford would at least try, give it his all, because despite everything, he still loves his brother. Differently than Stan loves him, because Ford is a different person than Stan, but he still does.

So I beg you, people. Stop taking Ford's complex character from him. He can be a selfish, self-centered asshole, but he's not heartless.

[red-riding-wood]

PSA - Community Predator

Over a series of months, myself and other Tumblr users -- fic writers, gif makers, fans of created content -- have been victimised by @mrkdvidal1989, who has extensively lied about who he is, preyed on multiple women and denied involvement -- therefore ruining friendships, reputations and feelings, and promised me life-saving medical treatment that he never followed through on.

More information including mine and their stories under the cut.

The reason I am going public with this is twofold:

A) To protect others from being hurt. He is known to reach out to many tumblr users, especially young women in the Cillian Murphy fandom -- but he may have a wider reach beyond this circle. B) Since his "disappearance" three weeks ago and the unravelling of his lies, this man has ruined my life and the only hope I had of obtaining treatment for a condition that has been plaguing me for four years.

Killian Vidal is the name he has chosen to give us, and has claimed to be both a officer commander and general in the mobility troop in the SAS (the general rank does not even exist), has beaten cancer a while ago (but said to another mutual that his "time was running out" and he is currently struggling with it), and a plethora of other life experiences and general knowledge about him that varies in consistency when talking to different people and is questionable in its validity. He has also shared pictures of "himself" that when reverse image searched, belong to different people.

I got to know Kill when he reblogged one of my fanfics (as the story seems to start with a lot of his victims) and he reached out via DMs. We quickly became close friends who called nearly every day on Discord and when I told him about my health issues, he immediately offered to pay for my medical treatment wherever I could find willing doctors.

I was hesitant to believe this at first since all of this seemed too good to be true (and was). He claimed to be very wealthy, enough to afford private jets like it was nothing and to rent me an apartment in the UK in the same building as him. Over time, I grew to trust him because he felt like such a genuine person and friend, which was made all the more believable by the fact that he has such a huge following on Tumblr and was, at the time, part of a vast social network of fans and friends (one of which he even claimed to know IRL -- who will remain anonymous unless they decide to speak out). I decided to ignore the little red flags because I was so desperate to receive this treatment that for me would be life-saving.

For four years, I have been plagued by an array of (mostly) undiagnosed digestive issues that have made my life almost unbearable and have on numerous occasions nearly killed me due to malnutrition. I've spent months in hospital, endured years of malpractice and misdiagnoses, undergone heart surgery, and have tried absolutely everything I can to get better. In the winter of 2023, I was told by my doctor that I was refused in the TPN program (a treatment that may have slowed or stopped my weight loss) and that with or without it, I was looking at mortality. Refusing to stop fighting but having exhausted the public health care system in Canada, I went into 2024 not really having much hope of anything anymore.

So, when Kill came along, that changed. He promised -- and I mean, from the bottom of his heart, promised -- that he would help me get treatment, that he would get me out of my abusive home and fly me to the UK, that he would be there for me as my friend, etc. I was beyond grateful, and as my trust with him built, so did my hope.

The travel plans kept getting put off; originally, he would fly me out as soon as the apartment became available, which was the 11th of Feb, 2024. He kept finding excuses to not book the jet. Finally, it seemed as if around the 15th/16th I would be flying. My health had been declining rapidly and the situation was becoming all the more urgent, and he said he was in contact with a pilot and would send the ticket soon and call me.

That was the last I heard from him. The 16th.

Initially thinking he had ended his life (he had discussed thoughts of suicide with me prior to this), I was beside myself with worry not only thinking one of my closest friends was gone but also that my chance at life was. I reached out to his other friends, and I made several calls to the UK authorities and emergency services and ended up requesting a welfare check be made to see if he was even alive.

They reported that no one under the name Killian Vidal was in the records of the building name he gave me -- the same building that I was meant to live in within that week.

After reaching out to my now beloved friend @kittenonpluto (A.K.A., Cas) on Tumblr, I learned that Kill was in fact alive, and had told her that he was in hospital for digestive issues in Indianopolis, United States (though again, no record of his name in their medical system). He still wouldn't talk to me, but told her to tell me that he would reach out when he was out of hospital.

Cas and I compared information he'd told us (her story will be attached to this post) and looked into the mystery more. He constantly dodged confrontation and questions about the fake photos and information he'd sent her, and seemed to use his completely fabricated hospitalisation as an excuse to not fulfil his promises to myself and her, as well as a means to garner sympathy.

It was quite obvious that he didn't know how the American medical system worked, and he even incorporated elements of my actual story and used them in his. When asked about his treatments, he responded with medically false information. He reported digestive issues, reflux, and having both an NG tube and TPN -- both of which I have experience with -- and let me say, I am beyond disgusted and infuriated that my real life trauma was used as a ploy in all this.

How do we know for a fact this is false? I checked the police case for his welfare check again, and they said that they confirmed him being in the UK at the same time he had told Cas he was in hospital in the States.

After a final confrontation from both Cas and myself (and a desperate final plea for the medical aid he promised me), he was never heard from again from either of us or our friend circles.

I'm now having to pick up the pieces he's left me in and to be honest, I have little to no idea of what the hell to do or how to save myself. The fact that he strung me along for a month and built up my hope that I was going to live only to abandon me without even a word is deplorable to me.

And mine isn't the only story. I've heard from four women on Tumblr (who, again, will remain anonymous unless they choose to speak out) who he has been romantic or sexually involved with (and lied about his involvement, made them out to seem insane or toxic, created rifts in our friendships, toyed with their emotions, and made false promises to of relationships, marriage, and finances).

And that's not including the ex-wife who came back to Tumblr to claim that her and Kill had never met nor married. She was promptly silenced by a "lawyer threat" that we have strong reason to believe was a bluff.

At the end of the day, there are so many lies, half-truths, inconsistencies, etc. this man has wrapped himself in and we don't know for the life of us what his motives are, but from the information that we do know is false, he isn't genuine. He toys with people. He hurts them. Myself and the others that have been affected by this want that to stop.

And at any point, he has the ability to make a new account, and take on a new persona, pretend to be someone else. Tumblr is a wonderful place and I have met so many cool people on here, but please be careful about who you interact with and what you share, because aside from making this post, it is beyond my power to stop him from doing what he does. But after what he did to me, I could not remain silent.

Other Stories

If you have an experience or story with Killian that you would like heard, please reblog it on this thread or make a post. With your consent, I can include a link to it below.

kittenonpluto's story

aurorag98's story

everyoneisawhore's story

your-nanas-house's story

hllywdwhre's story

Final Note

Lastly, if you have read this far, thank you.

If you want to reach out to me about this issue -- whether it's to anonymously share your experience, ask questions, ask for evidence (of which I can back up these statements with), or anything at all --, please do not hesitate to do so. <3

For those who may be worried about the potential legality of this post, everything that I have stated as fact is fact and it is not my intention to slander or spread false information.

[prettybabybaby]

rating: 18+. mdni.

pairing: regulus black x reader

content: noncon

based on this ask

regulus was nice about it, as he always was. after all he still cares about you in a weird way. teetering the line of mere lust and a sense of longing. that whisper of yearning was always enough to make his internal irritation dull and replace itself with begrudging acceptance.

you never let regulus touch you. you pushed his wandering hands away from your flesh that he craved to hold, turning your face away when his kisses became hungry. none of that took very long and the time only grew shorter the longer regulus went without.

still, regulus kept his gentle demeanor. he found more frustration settled in his stomach when he pushed too far and your eyes welled with water. though he was never sure which way. his pants tightened as much as his head began to beat with irritation.

you were vulnerable every time you tried to get regulus to understand time and time again, attempting to assert “boundaries”. boundaries that made no sense and had no business being applied to your boyfriend. hiding away from others was fine, it was preferred, even. but everything else about it was stupid in his eyes. valuing worthless opinions, seeking validation, and the like was stupid. regulus isn’t like your other boyfriends.

so, he truly doesn’t get it. he didn’t get it before and he especially doesn’t get it now. it already began. he already mouthed at your neck as he pulled you close, relishing in the weight on his lap, leaning on his chest as he held you tighter and tighter. his hands already shoved down your underwear, pushing past your the lips of your puffy pussy to find the swelling clit and clenching hole between them. he already pushed past the threshold, pumping his nimble fingers in and out of your gummy walls, mind spinning as he realized your walls were as soft as the rest of you. regulus already claimed his spot above you, nestling himself between your legs as he peered down at every inch of skin on display, wet with his spit.

yet, even as tears slip down your cheeks in thick uncontrollable streams and your breathing comes out labored, your hands still attempt to hide your body beneath your palms. it is pissing regulus off because despite the situation that even he can admit is vile, he is gentle.

his hands grip lovingly at your flesh. his teeth nibble softly at your body. his nose inhales every scent. his cock pulses and ruts into you with fervor as he chases his own release and attempts to bring you to yours. regulus can only hope you’ll change your mind once the waves of bliss that ripple through your body and your womb is stuffed full of his spent.

[boyfhee]

UNKISS ⋆ nrk

prompt · “you're so dumb” insert fond smile requested

g · bittersweet / fluff warnings · kissing, profanities wc · 0.9k

note · hi lily i hope u like this :< pls take care of urself, yeah? i luv u, and thanks to @flwrshee and @dokiyeom for beta reading + helping me with the ending. i asked both of them for advice and used neither's 😆☝️ go follow them

riki follows you closely behind as you rush down from the hallways to the middle of the football ground for some reason, anger spilling around with every step you take. “riki, what the fuck? what the actual fuck? how could y— why did you do that?” 

“relax, it was just a kiss,” and his voice is calm, like it’s just a kiss, just a moment where his lips touched yours, like it’s an everyday thing, as if you’re making a big deal out of it by making it sound like he just committed a crime. you don’t know why or how he’s so normal about this while you feel every nerve in your body go off with sirens. 

“my first kiss,” you turn around hastily, your index finger pointed at him as he takes a step back to avoid crashing into you. “it was my first kiss, riki, and you took it. you, and you’re not even my boyfriend,” 

is this supposed to be a secret? yes. are you in the middle of the football ground throwing a tantrum like a five year old, for the world to know? also yes, and you couldn’t care less, actually. the fact that riki took your first kiss easily tops your list of concerns at the moment. 

“i am,” he blinks, as if he’s stating a fact, hands on his waist like he’s making a completely valid point. “a fake one, but i am still your boyfriend,” you roll your eyes, scoffing at his oh so true words before shooting him a glare. 

“that doesn’t even make sense. i thought i made it clear when i said ‘no kissing,’ at the beginning of this fake dating thing,” there were three rules, actually— no kissing, none of you are allowed to go on dates with someone else, this is a secret which means, none of you are allowed to breathe a word about this to anyone, not even your best friends. 

“well, what do you expect me to do when your friends dare me to kiss you?” another factual information falls off his lips, it’s actually true this time. truth and dare with friends— never a good option, especially when you’re playing with your fake boyfriend and when your friends are spawns of the devil. 

“i don’t know, you should’ve made an excuse to not kiss me, or you could’ve pretended to kiss me, you know, since this is all about pretending,” right, all about pretending, from pretending to date, to pretending to like each other, fake smiles and fake words of affirmations, fake sweet nothings whispered and fake claims of being in love— it’s all about pretending and riki, he isn’t enjoying this little play at all.

he doesn’t like that every i love you that leaves his mouth manages to convince the world but you. he hates that at the end of the day, every second spent with him is simply tagged as ‘fake dating’ under the chapters named after him in your life. riki despises the fact that no matter how true his feelings are, in your eyes, they’re just an act pulled by him to convince people he doesn’t care about, and he hates himself for not being able to tell you how he actually feels. 

“eh, what’s done is done. besides, it can’t be that bad to kiss me,” so, he just picks up pieces of you from the smiles and hugs you give him here and there, hoping that there will be a day when you will actually consider turning whatever you two have into something more serious, something real.  

you feel your cheeks heat up at his words as you turn around to face away from him. truthfully, the kiss wasn’t half bad. it only lasted for a few seconds, but the ghost of his lips still lingers over yours as if you’re the home they’ve been looking for. you can still taste faint flavour of strawberry from the strawberry milk he had during the game. the moment replays at the back of your head like a movie, one that makes your heart beat relentlessly everytime you think about it. you don’t even know why your mind keeps travelling back to it every now and then. 

“whatever, ‘ki, first kisses are important to me,” you like the fact that he hasn’t noticed your flustered face, he likes the little name you’ve given him unknowingly. “i wish we could just…unkiss or something,” 

“that isn’t even a thing,” he chuckles, earning another glare from you in return. “you’re so dumb,” your words make no sense, but riki can feel himself smiling fondly at your stupid thoughts, his eyes fixed on you while yours are staring at the horizon with slight annoyance. what you said is baseless, but the next second, he’s actually considering it; to unkiss, if that’s even a thing— he can make it a thing, perhaps,

the next thing you know, riki is cupping your face to make you look at him, and before you could say something, his lips are on yours again, catching you by surprise as he pulls you a little closer. you swear your heart might’ve just skipped several beats, another second passes as you process the situation, and riki pulls away the very next moment. “there, i returned your first kiss back to you,” 

and all it took riki is a kiss to find his way to your head, and an unkiss to find his way to your heart.

[sapphire-writes]

an ego thing ~ modern!Aemond x Reader

next part // series masterlist request: Academic rivals to lovers during a VERY heated argument please??? 🥺 note: happy valentines my loves I hope you enjoy!! 💚 warnings: language word count: 1.2k read more of my work here!

“So what do we think?” your professor asks, leaning against their desk, “was the war justified? What are our thoughts?”

The room is silent. Your 8:00 AM history seminar is usually quiet aside from the droning of your professor and the snores of a student slumped against their desk in the back. 

Two hands shoot into the air, desperate to be chosen first.

You strain your hand towards the ceiling, fingers wiggling. You can feel your toes pushing into the floor as if you can push yourself higher into the air. At least higher than him.

Aemond Targaryen leans his back against his chair with ease, long arm stretched toward the sky. His expression is nonchalant, but mismatched eyes are alert. The sharp features of his face seem tense, as he waits in anticipation. He’s annoyingly handsome, you can’t deny, but being your arch-nemesis nearly erases the fact. 

The gods are on your side today, as your professor meets your gaze and sends you a nod. You grin triumphantly, mouth twisted in a smile.

“The black queen was named heir,” you begin, after taking a deep breath, “the king wanted his daughter to be queen. I think that should have been respected, especially by the greens. Far less bloodshed would have happened if she ascended to the throne.”

Your professor nods at your answer and you feel a rush go through you at his approval. Nothing feels as good as a teacher’s praise. Something you learned early on in your education and carried with you even now. 

Aemond snorts beside you, earning a glare from you. That’s another annoying thing about Aemond; no matter what the class is, if you’re in it he is planting his desk right beside yours. An obnoxious shadow he makes. 

“You disagree, Mr. Targaryen?” your professor asks, crossing their arms. 

“Of course I do,” Aemond says, side-eyeing you. Your nose scrunches in displeasure.

It truly did not matter which side you took, Aemond would take the opposite. Both of you are vigorous students, and someone always annoyingly in the same classes. He seems to follow you through all your general education classes each semester. You argue like dogs fighting over a bone in your searches for academic validation.

“Go on,” your professor encourages him, as your fingers curl into your palms.

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Aemond argues, “the realm would never have accepted her as a queen with her father’s firstborn son living.”

“That’s very feminist of you,” you snap, unable to help yourself. 

Aemond turns toward you on his desk. He always looks so odd sitting in the rolling chair, his long limbs overflowing. He raises an eyebrow at you, jaw clenching.

“I’m being historically accurate,” Aemond argues, tapping his long fingers on the desk.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you tell him, leaning back and crossing your arms over your chest. 

You can feel your cheeks heating up as Aemond stares at you, his lips curling into a snarl.

“If she ascended the throne, there would have been an uprising sooner or later,” Aemond continues and you roll your eyes. 

“Her sons were bastards, a threat to the very institution of the kingdom if her son ascended after her-”

“Oh come on!” you say, tilting your head to look at the ceiling, “her sons were legitimized, they were claimed by her husband as his trueborn sons, her trueborn heirs-”

“The text is very clear about it being known amongst the common people-”

“Text was written by men to keep other men in power in a patriarchal system-”

“Here we go.”

Your head snaps forward. 

“What?” you quip, fury written across your face. You notice your voice has been increasing in volume but you don’t care. Aemond Targaryen makes your blood boil. 

He smirks at you, clearly giddy at the rise he’s getting out of you. Well, as giddy as Aemond Targaryen can get. He’s not really a giddy kind of person, with his all-black outfits that match the stupid all-black coffee he brings every class.

“You’re bringing it back to gender when it's not about that,” Aemond says shaking his head, “if her sons inherited the throne after her, the entire realm would have crumbled.”

“You are so dramatic,” you accuse, “and it absolutely is about gender. She was her father’s chosen heir.”

“Well she shouldn’t have sired bastards,” Aemond argues shaking his head.

“Sired?” you mock narrowing your eyes, “what’re we in the medieval ages?”

“We’re talking about it genius,” Aemond says. 

“Okay everyone!” your professor says clapping his hands together, “ceasefire you two.” 

Your professor chuckles, trying to ease the tension you’ve created in the classroom to no avail. Aemond and you are leaning toward each other as if at any moment one of you will jump from your seat attacking the other. 

Aemond leans back first, hand clenching around his coffee cup and bringing it to his lips. The prominent veins of the back of his hand bulge with how tightly he holds the cup. You slouch back in your seat. 

“Let’s explore a different role,” your professor suggests, “what would have been in the best interest of the common folk?”

Aemond’s hand shoots into the air. Your professor points at him.

“The king’s daughter was never present at court, she had no idea what the people needed, she spent barely any time present at council-”

You let out a dramatic sigh at his response. 

“She was pushed out, by the king’s new wife I might add who was aiding her father, the hand of the king, in the plans to usurp the throne,” you challenge as Aemond shakes his head. 

“There is no record of the queen having any knowledge of those plans-”

“Read between the lines,” you say, cutting him off.

“Isn’t that what you should be doing?” Aemond says crossing his arms, “preferably in another class more related to your major.”

Your cheeks flush. 

“I take lit classes too,” you snarl, “this is a gen ed class.”

“Literature major,” he snorts, “of course.”

“What the hell does that mean?” 

“That major is a waste of time,” he says smugly. 

“Says the philosophy major,” you snap back. 

Aemond leans forward, ready to snap when your professor claps his hands together. 

“Okay!” he says, voice hoarse, “I think that’s enough discussion for today. I want three pages submitted tonight about who you think should have inherited the throne. Two sources minimum, people!” 

The noise level in the class rises as students shove their papers and books into their bags, rising from their desks eager to leave the lecture. 

You tuck your books into your bags, heart pounding from the intense conversation. Aemond has already risen from his seat, tossing his coffee cup into the recycling bin before exiting the classroom. You scurry after him, not ready to give up the fight. 

You nearly run into him as you exit the classroom, he’s stopped outside the doorway, tucking a book into his backpack. 

“Asshole,” you mutter, watching his shoulders tense. 

“Know it all,” he snarls. 

“For fuck’s sake!” a voice calls behind you. 

Aemond and you turn, meeting the face of your previously sleeping classmate Luke Velaryon. His hair is ruffled, and he rubs the sleep from his eyes with an exasperated look on his face. He eyes you and Aemond.

“Will you two just bang already?”

Your mouth falls open, eyes wide as saucers. Aemond stands eerily still beside you. Luke raises his eyebrows, as your cheeks begin to burn. You meet Aemond’s eyes, blue and violet, for a brief moment, before you both look away. Aemond clears his throat, and you swallow hard. 

“As if,” you say, forcing a laugh, before pushing by Aemond.

“Yeah,” Aemond agrees, watching you leave, “in your dreams.”

note: do we want a part 2? 👀

EDIT: I wrote part 2 😏

[kanpaeki]

Can you do where dominic and the reader have an argument and give each other silent treatment even though they really wanna talk to each other but they’re being petty

i changed it a little bit but i hope this is close enough to what you wanted, i got writer's block like 3 times trying to write this lmao

x

“how many times do i have to say i’m sorry? i couldn’t fucking be there, i don’t know what else to say.”  dominic’s fed up by now, clearly done with the conversation if the flushed face and disgruntled expression is anything to show for.

“are you not getting this? that’s not the problem! but you should’ve talked to me!” and just like him, you're beyond frustrated. he's usually more communicative with you but you had an event that you really wanted him to go with you to and he straight up stood you up, no call, no text, no nothing. and you were furious. he didn't want to talk about it, claiming he was just was busy and with friends and lost track of time but you weren't having it. he needed to understand that he couldn't do that.

"i'm not doing this anymore." he abruptly stands up from his chair at the kitchen table and heads towards the doorway to what you assume is his makeshift home studio.

"where are you going?!" you shout, eyebrows furrowed in anger, "you're not doing what anymore?!"

no answer. he's retreating to the studio.

"dominic david fike."

he pauses.

but then he continues. and he's out of your sight within the next second. you hear the door slam.

you groan, running your hands through your hair. you don't think you've ever fought this bad. he was usually better at letting you know where he was or if he was going to be late, you don't understand why he all of a sudden stopped. it didn't make sense. something was weird. but at this rate, you were never going to find out why. you just wanted to talk to him, you don't even understand how it became a screaming match. sighing, you shake your head. maybe some time would be best for you both.

so you continue the day as normal, given there is quite a heavy and dark rain cloud looming over your head for the remainder of the evening, but you try your best. you get your work done, which was a nice distraction but the second you were done, your mind went back to dominic. so you tried to make dinner. you weren't the best cook but he seemed to enjoy it, especially when you make that one dish he really likes. he might even view it as a peace offering.

“dom? babe?” you call out, “dinner’s ready!” you plate the food at the stove, carrying them to the table. you wait for the telltale sound of a door opening and feet slapping the floor. it never comes.

“dom?” your heart starts to deflate. so maybe this issue was bigger than you thought. you stand there beside the table, watching the steam rise from the two plates. trying not to panic, you wring your hands together. maybe he’s just got his headphones on.

you think about texting him for a minute but you decide just to go knock on the door. if he's got headphones on, he probably won't hear his phone anyway. so up the stairs you go, putting your tail between your legs and knocking on the door. "dommy, dinner's ready. if you want to eat." pressing your lips together, you wait for the door to open.

nothing.

yeah, maybe this was worse than you thought. you give it another knock but still, no answer. resting your forehead on the cool wood, you exhale. usually after an argument, some time apart was all he needed. but it seems like this was going to take a little bit more than you anticipated.

"well, i'll be downstairs if you want to talk about it. i'll put your plate in the fridge." with that, you head back downstairs, thoughts racing through your mind. reaching the table, you just sit there. you don't even feel like eating anymore. you just pick at your food with the fork, frustrated more than anything. you know your feelings were valid, if anything, you should be the one giving him the silent treatment. you were willing to put everything behind you. why wasn't he? god, boys are so infuriating.

you stand up and just decide to wrap your plates and put them in the fridge. you didn't have it in you to eat right now and you're sure he'll be down to eat the second you leave the kitchen and shut yourself in the bedroom. and that you do. without even changing into pajamas, you just slide into the sheets in the darkness, left alone with your thoughts. you hated this silence. usually he was singing, showing you what he made, watching a movie with you, you guys even liked to online shop together. you loved his sense of style. you missed his nose. his cute button nose. you don't even realize you're crying until the feeling of something warm and wet on your nose bothers you enough to wipe it away.

you're half asleep when you hear padding around in the kitchen, socks shuffling on the floor and the sounds of the fridge opening. there's a sigh and muttering. more scuffling. and then it gets closer. you pretend to be asleep right as the door opens.

he seems to pause at the door but then there's a weight shift at the end of the bed as he sits on it. you carefully blink your eyes open, looking at him as he sits by your feet. his elbows rest on his knees and his hands are in his hair. you want to speak up, he looks frustrated but you don't know if you trust your voice after having cried yourself to sleep.

he takes a deep breath before he sits up, "i'm sorry." is all he says before he looks at you with an expression you've never really seen before. "i was trippin', i shouldn't shut down like that. i could've moved things around, i could've been there. i know how important it was to you and i'm sorry. it won't happen again."

you take a deep breath before sitting up, facing him. "i'm sorry i lost my temper. i know your schedule gets unpredictable. but you're right, it meant a lot to me." he nods and leans forward, resting his head on your chest. you run your hands through his messy curls.

"i love you." he murmurs into your chest, kissing you through your shirt. "will you eat with me please?" he looks up at you with shiny eyes and you just nod, smoothing the stray hair away from his cheeks.

he stands up first and you grab his hand as he outstretches it, taking his lead as he heads back to the kitchen. rarely did you ever eat without each other. maybe that's why you lost your appetite before. but sitting at the table with him now, smiling as you eat your dinner's together, all feels right again.

[katyspersonal]

Hi there, I hope you don’t mind the random question but in your mind which fanbase would you say is worse, Elden Ring or Bloodborne in terms of annoying fans. I used to think Bloodborne fans could be bad but holy shit ER fans are something else when it comes to lore discussions. As someone who is pretty active in lore talk with both games do you find one side to be more exhausting to deal with than the other? Obviously feel free not to answer this if you think it might start drama

Honestly? I can't hate Bloodborne fandom enough.

Bloodborne was my first Fromsoft game and one keeping me hostage in terms of fixation for over three years, like I said! And yes, it has incredibly bad, toxic people in it - Maria fans who kept slandering Gehrman despite all the info against their takes, honestly believed there is anything problematic with Gehrmaria, had mental breakdown if anyone dared to see Maria as bi or straight despite her not having canon sexuality, believed that the whole story is either about man bad woman good OR was incredibly misogynist, no between. Close minded, toxic people who would deliberately bait anger and pain with placing their hate in the tags and then play victims when those hurt fans snapped back. Oh, I hate them, and revealing that Gehrman's "creepiness" and "misogyny" was completely and fully translation mistake, as well as pointing out how comes why nothing is wrong with how Doll is dressed with facts, is forever my most valid contribution to the fandom. More so than my ugly childlike fanart or convoluted theories could ever be. But, not THIS is why Bloodborne fandom is worse in my opinion.

Elden Ring fandom introduced not one but SEVERAL annoying and exhausting topics to deal with! I "affectionately" titled especially rabid Malenia and Miquella fans 'Twin Cultists' because this is exactly what their behavior is and have always been! Funny enough, a person who got mad at me for this one was someone who got alienated on Discord server for Miquella fans because owners started to insist that only their headcanons are valid AND admitted to me on feeling unsafe for not shipping Finlenia. I am dead serious! Malenia fans are strikingly similar to Maria pseudofeminist fans in toxicity, Miquella fans are like if you removed all likeable traits of Leda and replaced them with even MORE of undying vitriol for anyone who dares to interpret him as anything but perfect pure radiant sunshine. Mohg triggered a pretty awful discourse between those who insisted he was rapist molester whatever and if you interpret it differently you are insensitive and media-illiterate victimblamer and people who defended him "becoming the very thing they sworn to destroy" as well as also exhibiting cult-like thought control in their circles (they know who they are -_-).

But the DLC has changed things a bit, right? Some Twin Cultists are still spilling vitriol, except now they also claim that writers are bad, not only fans that disagree with them! Still, blessed, deserved vindication finally arrived! But what about others, whose situation never changed? Vitriol towards Godrick is ABSURD. You know how common fandoms L is that they judge and hate female character for something, but when male character did the exact same thing it is humored or justified? Godrick is this, minus the gender difference, yet everyone who points out his actual characteristics and the hypocrisy of his haters gets ridiculed. You thought that his fans would flock together to support each others? No, turns out that pocket are loosers who think people who don't headcanon him as trans are childish and ridiculous and loathe cishet Elden Ring fans in general. Fia and D are caught in the weird discourse loop where one is always simplified and idealized and another is demonized to Hell and beyond, when they both are strongly caught in religious brainwashing of sorts but also are sympathetic in their own right. Ranni's fans and haters both do not know the term of Machiavellian (aka "Ends justify the means" philosophy). She is the worst most evil character in the setting over what crimes she committed in order to protect the world from the problem of potentially anyone being able to grab the laws of nature itself and shape them according to their bigotries and preferences, OR she is a perfect innocent fighter against oppression and people who dislike her Just Hate Women TM. And of course we cannot forget the one above them all! The radiant, omnipresent, eternal!...

Marika truly brings out the worst of discussions! She has been before SOTE, but you YEARN for pre-SOTE times if you hate OR love her! Not because things changed, but because now discussion can't be avoided. She is THE Elden Ring character who is only ever demonized and idealized. Before SOTE, she was only ever just a tyrant who loves genocide OR simply a puppet of Greater Will (or rather Two Fingers claiming to speak for it as it turned out) who never meant to do that shit and finally heroically rebelled. After SOTE... hahaha, oh boy... we started to deal with the issue of excusing genocide. Her fans will claim into essays and more essays why Hornsent are all fundamentally dangerous race and Marika is merely trying to rid the world of filth that ruins it by sending Messmer. However, demonization didn't quite go away either, and her haters are so angry at writers humanizing her a bit more that they say WRITERS are pro-fascist!

So, why? I've described such horrid discourse, when Bloodborne fandom sounds like it simply has a few bad apples in comparison! What can be worse than Elden Ring fandom, after a description like this? Yeah, you see... Elden Ring fandom is thorn by awful arguments and discourse, it is hostile and dangerous for your mental health if you are invested into fandom beyond just "consuming content" and advertising your art for sale. Yet, it lives. It lives in the same sense as a land torn by earthquakes lives. It lives in the same sense a volcano that won't stop smoking lives. It lives in the same sense sea lives during the storm. But it LIVES.

Bloodborne fandom is a fucking Caelid.

If you question whether I'd be scared of "drama", I assume you are new here and don't know my epic lore. I am not afraid of anything because society made itself clear on what I am for it. In the most condenced way possible, one OF those toxic Maria fans didn't like me thinking for myself too much so they went out of their way to slander me for various -ists and -phobias. Their ableist friend that doesn't take racism seriously joined in. I was a victim of stalking, harassment, slander, witch-hunting and cult-like shunning for over a year, and so was every kind fool who treated me like a human - friend or mutual. I can NOT speak of Bloodborne fandom experience from personal standpoint because obviously it is not an objective experience (though someone who also got unfairly slandered by Maria fans too contacted me, so I question whether it IS a trend..?). Still, it isn't about me or my friends, we are an oddity. Bloodborne fandom for me was just a bunch of gullible, weak sheep who are okay with witch-hunt because letting just a few people get harassed is not worth souring their fandom experience. And I do not wish to turn back or even try to mend anything. I caught my stalker and exposed their crimes, I made everyone who believed they were innocent feel stupid and ashamed, it was all I wanted. I don't wish to "befriend" the fandom afterwards.

YEAH YEAH "THINGS ONCE BROKEN" WHATEVER

But I was still posting and drawing and playing and talking and writing, right? I was still present. So, I was at least observing what was going on. And what truly soured Bloodborne fandom was actually happening afterwards, what was not involving me or any friend or enemy I knew. The worst thing happened, worse for fandom than any amount of discourse. I call it "centralization", for lack of better term.

Bloodborne is a niche fandom, yet it had a sudden zoomers burst. And that led to dynamics of "fandom leaders", and stupid fucking Discord community that are akin to elite club in which if you are not invited you might as well not exist. It ALL became about stupid "web of mutuals" nonsense. It ALL became about some cool kids deciding what will be the ship or the take of the week/month, and soon you'd see NOTHING but this thing posted. Always through the exact same lense, too. Only to then be forgotten, because it was just a trend. Rom x Caryll comes to mind as a FAD of similar vibe. Micolaurence too.

I just hate this. The fandom stopped LIVING. I saw genuinely absurd things happen! Like someone drawing Mariadeline, one of the most popular ships in the fandom, yet they get completely ignored because they've failed to grab a beer at the bar with "leaders" of this ship who "hold" the distribution of that approval and love. Even worse; over a year ago, a very talented, fun, energetic and creative fan of Mensis Trio and Byrgenwerth squad showed up! They were SPAMMING art and writing, and all of that was good! So good that..... all of that barely got over 20 notes, maybe 30. Why? Because, again, you can't just post about blorbos and expect to be liked and approached. You have to get on the "good side" of "holders" of love for characters like Micolash, Laurence and Rom, or else they'll just side-eye you! But imagine this with literally everything else. I have been watching it happen all the time, to people that were not even targets for cult-like shunning by Alfred, Eugene or Anna for associating with me. You keep to yourself, you are shy, you are not on Discord with them, your headcanons are a bit different? Too bad, you may rot, because it is not about you! People look up to a few popular artists with shallow takes and so much creative liberties they might as well make OCs to know whether this or that person should be liked and reblogged, instead of JUST liking and reblogging them!

THIS is why Bloodborne fandom is Caelid. Not for toxicity, but because it is rotten. It used to be far less "organized" when I joined in. There were no trends to define fandomry for next few weeks decided on a party where ignored creators were not invited to. There was not hegemony of certain ships, designs and headcanons. There was no "web of mutuals" and pressure to either assert yourself by the good side or vanish. Everyone were doing their things and coexisting, nobody could determine who flourishes and who rots, diversity of headcanons and interpretations were celebrated. Oh, what's a matter? You really dislike that popular artist who infantilizes Marika and stripes her out of any agency over her actions? Well, so do like 500000 other people! Every popular take is ALSO popular to hate on in Elden Ring fandom! But if you dislike a popular take in Bloodborne then sucks to be you, because diversity of interpretations, opinions, preferences and takes just doesn't exist in it. Not anymore. Unless you "asserted" your novel idea to the "court" on some stupid Discord server and was "approved", of course.

Look. Elden Ring discourse annoys me to no end. I always get my headcanons and interpretations "corrected" in the worst condescending fashion. My friend posted a very well made lore post and got harped on because his take contradicted someone's idol's headcanons (with that idol approving of that harping) and I am still mad. I don't want to post my GEQ takes to be reminded that "aktualy" she is Melina. I dislike seeing claims of Miquella's nonexistent character assassination or Radahn hated just because some sexist Redditors were using him as a mascot. Nonetheless, deep down, I am THANKFUL. Because even really annoying debates end up being entertaining. Because people here TALK about things, REVISIT things, ARGUE about things, CARE about things, HAVE OPINIONS on things. They will annoy you in the comments or reblogs, but they SPEAK to you. No take is so popular that it defines all art and fanfics because every popular take is also popular to hate on. Things are disorganized. No fandom leaders, no elite club ignored blog wasn't invited to, no "web of mutuals" that should get sucked into a vacuum cleaner and never be seen again. Elden Ring fandom is a battlefield, but also free market minus the money.

To be honest, Bloodborne fandom was done for me when based people started to vanish. Fishbowlcarnage deactivated everywhere, Cuddlefish mysteriously disappeared and I worry whether they are even alive to this day, user Molluscock got bullied away... It felt like a bad omen, it happened before my drama, and I've never seen users like this before. Except I have been, but they all are now ignored because of this stupid high school dynamic taking over. Had Elden Ring hyperfixation not happened, I'd probably just end up blocking many Bloodborne accounts and never care for trying to make connections again, just post art and vanish to draw the next one. I did end up blocking some Bloodborne mutuals, after all. After it hit me, what was bothering me so much. Appreciate Elden Ring fandom and it's earthquakes, because shaking earth can't be bigger evil than stagnation. Bloodborne fandom no longer breathes, they are champions of not feeding the sparkles that were meant to become fire hoping they die down, and I hate every looser that benefits from that "system". In Elden Ring, ALL things flourish, whether graceful or malign.

[lovemyromance]

Hi! What are your thoughts on the GA/EL who see all the Elriel moments but simply dislike them together? I know there are not a lot of them but I have seen people admit that Azriel and Elain are into each other but for various reasons they don’t ship them or find other ships more appealing and are hoping the books go in a different direction.

I think this is the only valid reason to ship Elucien or Gwynriel LOL. It's the NORMAL way to ship. I have always said, it's fine if you simply prefer one couple to another. We all like what we like.

But to claim that couple is canon is entirely different. Especially when all the evidence points otherwise.

For example, I love Dramione as a ship. I was obsessed with Dramione fanfic and I loved writing it too. I HATED, HATED Ron & Hermione. I hated Ron, I hated them together, blah blah.

But did I ever - for one second - try to claim Dramione was canon and Ron & Hermione were not endgame? Literally never.

That's the difference. Nobody is trying to police who people ship. People ship all sorts of crazy things and that is their prerogative.

But to say that EL/GA is a romantic pairing currently in the books is objectively false. "crumbs" and "foreshadowing" do not a couple make. Especially when you have Elriel moments explicitly written to compare that to. Like if I showed a random person ANY EL/GA scene vs the scene where Azriel is begging on his knees for a taste of Elain - who do we think this random person would declare to be a romantic pairing?

They can even say "Well in the future I think GA/EL will end up together". But they would have to acknowledge there is nothing solid currently set up in the books to support that conclusion. This is a theory. If it's not currently in the books, then it's not canon.

Elriel IS currently in the books. They can try to make it sound unimportant by saying it's "just lust" but it doesn't change the fact that it happened.

And these pairings have nothing to do with "This is just SJM's style". SJM has distinctive plot and storylines, sure. But she's done a variety of different storylines (mates, chosen mates, not mates, fake mates) and they are not ALWAYS the same. To say "Well this is a fated mates story and SJM is a fated mates author" is an argument that ONLY works if EVERY pairing she has EVER written has been fated mates. That is not the case. Same goes for words like "spark" lol.

Anyways - TLDR: Ship whoever. But until Gwyn/Azriel or Elain/Lucien shows any shred of actual romantic attraction for the other on the page - it's not a canon ship. It is guesswork/theory at best.

[karenandhenwilson]

I've seen so much discourse about Bucktommy and especially Tommy and it is so wild. I just want to write down some of my thoughts over all of it because that tends to help me to stop thinking about it.

"Oh, how can anyone just abandon Buddie for Bucktommy?"

Has anyone really abandoned Buddie, though? Or are they just for the moment very excited about a new and so very carefully portrait queer story line? Just because some people talk more (or for the moment only) about Bucktommy, doesn't mean they don't like Buddie anymore. They just have something shiny and most importantly canon to fawn over for the moment.

Also, I'd like to give that question back: Why aren't you all excited for a carefully and softly portrait new queer storyline about a character a huge part of the fandom—including the actor himself—hoped for years would get a queer story line?

And it's a pretty unique queer story. Of course, we had Michael figuring out his sexualtiy and growing comfortable in it right at the beginning of the series. But there are some huge differences between Michael's story and Buck's story.

For one, we ended up in the middle of that story. Michael had already done a huge part of the work of getting to know himself. He was ready to live as a gay man. And second, nothing of what we saw until season 3 was from Michael's point of view. It was all from Athena's point of view. 

So it was a "coming-out late in life" story line, sure. But it was a queer storyline from a straight perspective. And in some instances, from a very hurt perspective about it all (which are, of course, very valid emotions for Athena, May, and Harry, but it still gave the queer side of the story line a certain taint). And they did that beautifully, too, no doubt. I especially liked that the family didn't break over it, that they grew with that experience, and that Michael and Athena became great friends over the years.

But now we also have a "coming-out late in life" story line from the queer perspective! 9-1-1 is pretty much the only series I'm following right now, so I have no idea if we had something similar recently. But from all the talk I've seen, it's pretty damn unique, especially for a male bi character. So, of course a lot of people are super excited about it. Because it's honest and good representation that the writers and the actors are handling with a lot of care.

"Oh, if it were a female love interest, you'd all hate her again!"

First of all, go back read that paragraph about many people being excited about getting a queer story line again! I think that's about 40% of the answer for everyone wondering about it.

And then, of course, Tommy has now already more depth and character and background than we ever saw about Ali or Natalia. And despite some people claiming he didn't have any kind of redemption arc, he truly had a lot more of a redemption arc than Taylor ever got even if only glimpses of it were ever shown on screen. (Maybe I'll get into my thoughts about that in another post.) Not gonna talk about Abby, because I think most of the dislike for her came long after that relationship was over after she ghosted Buck (and after Eddie had shown up).

One huge difference between every love interest of Buck or Eddie we have seen in the past to Tommy is also, that Tommy gets along really well with Eddie. We've already seen a friendship develop there. That never happened with any of the women either Eddie or Buck dated before. We saw that one dinner Buck and Taylor had with Eddie and Chris, but it was very clear it was the first time, and that was over half a year into Buck and Taylor dating, probably more like nine months.

If you wear slash googles around Buck and Eddie or not, their deep friendship is undeniable. It's very much canon that they both have a hand in raising Chris. Any love interest coming in has to deal with that, and has to somehow fit into that friendship. Tommy is the very first love interest in canon we have ever been shown to have that potential at all.

I'm personally part of the fandom that thinks that Buck and Eddie have great potential in a romantic way, BUT that they are first and foremost soulmates, no matter if platonic or romantic. And at least the Bucktommy fics I've read so far have all acknowledge the friendship of buck and Eddie and Chris' role in Buck's life. With Tommy being very accepting and supportive of it. (Though, I admit I’m very careful in my selection process.)

"Oh, Bucktommy is only a steppingstone for Buddie anyway! Don't get so invested in it!"

Who are you tell anyone what they should get invested in? I also think, with the excitement right now, even if Bucktommy break up, the ship itself will live on in fandom.

And also, didn't any of you learn out of the cheating story line they settled Hen and Karen with?

There is barely any content for Henren*. And I've been looking! Most stories they are tagged in don't really focus on their relationship. And those who do focus on their relationship get barely any attention. And you know why that is? Because a lot of people can't or don't want to deal with the cheating. (I deal with it by trying to ignore it or seeking out content where it's fixed!) Do you all really want to have a second queer story line that centers around cheating?

And even if none of you care for Henren (which... I know many don't *shrugs sadly*), have you all already forgotten the real pain over Buck kissing Lucy and then not fessing up to Taylor about it right away? (Once again, I deal by either ignoring it or seeking out content that fixes that bullshit.)

I'm honestly pretty disgusted by all the speculation about 7x06 that has anything to do with Buck and Eddie cheating on Tommy and Marisol during the bachelor party. And even more so about all the fics one can find about that, or that use Tommy as a device for Buck and Eddie realizing they are in love. (Honestly, even filtering out the other relationship tag while looking for stories in one relationship tag doesn't prevent one from stumbling over those stories right now, no matter if one is currently looking for Buck/Tommy or Buck/Eddie stories. It's so fucking annoying. I've turned to only reading old Buddie fics for the moment.)

Aside from the whole cheating of it all, why do any of you think the next episode will focus on anyone else but Maddie and Chim?

"Bucktommy is so racist! But really, no surprise in this fandom!"

What's no surprise is that "racist" is once more used as a buzzword in this fandom. To the point that BiPOC fans of Bucktommy are being told they are racist for the ship they like. (Nothing new about that in this fandom either.) Honestly, half the arguments about why the ship is oh so racist either make my head hurt while I try to follow the many, many, many mental loops people are making to get there, or they just make me laugh outright.

Do some of you really believe it when you say "Buck got together with a White man instead of his Latino best friend, so of course that's racist!"??? I'm just... Are you okay? Do you maybe need something warm to drink, a snack, and a nice place somewhere in the sun far away from the internet to just enjoy nature for a little while?

As I said, I'll probably make another post about Tommy's redemption arc over the whole "He is an unrepentant racist and misogynist". That redemption arc exists and has been baked in since season 2 (even if some of people clearly lack the media literacy to see it). Though, other people already put together great meta posts about this. But maybe if there are enough of it, some people will for once acutally read and start to think instead of continuing to spew their hate.

*PS: If anyone has good Henren contant, especially fanfiction, feel free to drop me a DM. I'm always looking!

[loveanddeepspice]

𝕋𝕖𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖

✞ synopsis:  you've come back to the small town you grew up in for a visit. though your relationship with the catholic church and faith in general have been strained since you were younger, you find yourself drawn back to the church... or more specifically... the new priest... you aren't ready to share your secret sin with him... but you may not be able to help yourself.

✞ pairing: sylus x curvy fem!reader

✞ rating:  18+ (minors do not engage)

✞ cw:  religion (catholicism), priest, lapsed faith, adultery, priest kink, suicidal mention, dead parent, sex, masturbation, drugs (marijuana), mentions of other drug use, drinking (more will be added when/if they arise)

✞ disclaimer: this fiction explores a romantic relationship between a lapsed Catholic and an unconventional priest. it is not designed to be inflammatory or critical. catholic authors were asked to participate in the process. we hope you enjoy it, but we know that these topics can be sensitive, so please skip this fiction if it will in any way offend you.

✞ chapter:  4 / ?

✞ co-authors:  redbriony, confuseddoughnut (they do not have tumblr)

✞ ao3 link:  here

✞ chapter synopsis: guilt is heavy on your mind, but when given the opportunity to confess, things escalate to an admission you weren't expecting. it would seem you aren't the only one who deals with temptation.

✞ index: chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5

Please comment on this post if you want to be added to the tag list for updates!

You were pretty used to people wanting to have sex with you - boys at the club that danced too close. Or the library in college, checking you out from behind when you returned books. You’d learned to ignore the stares, the not-so-subtle advances, the occasional grope on a crowded dance floor. It was just part of being a woman, you had told yourself. And truthfully, being desired felt good, even if it sometimes manifested in inappropriate ways. 

It had a specific power, especially when you often looked at your hips in the mirror. Even when you felt bloated or your skin was breaking out, catching an appreciative glance from a cute guy perked up your mood. It was a reminder that despite your insecurities, your body was beautiful and alluring to others. There was something deeply validating about that.

You had seen the restraint in Zayne’s eyes, the way he had held himself back the moment he met you. It was different from the hungry leers of other men. There was a respect there, a reverence almost as if he never quite believed that you were real. 

But you felt the sweat-slick desire coursing through his veins whenever he fucked you. Fucked you against the wall, the desk bent over. You had smelled the lust on his skin - his need to claim. This led you to believe there wasn’t much in his own life he had much control over - though you never asked. 

Most times you were with him, you didn’t try to distract him. You pretended not to care when he slipped the wedding band off his finger and tossed it somewhere out of his line of sight. Being wanted, needed, and craved so intensely always took priority in your mind of what was right or proper. The way he touched you, kissed you, and drove into you with such fervor. 

You didn’t let the ring distract you, considering it was just an object. 

Until one morning, it caught your eye. The simple gold band rested on the nightstand as you sat against the headboard. You blinked and glanced over at Zayne sleeping next to you - his defined shoulder blades and strong muscles, the smooth curve of his body leading to narrow hips. 

At that moment, you wished you could start over and stay in this life forever. Maybe he would have come with you if you ran away. Maybe you could have convinced him to protect you, or you could have made up an excuse for why he needed to stay by your side. Deep down, you knew those thoughts were selfish and even comical. You had been desperate and needy yet appreciative of how he had made everything else disappear. 

Maybe you were his way of breaking free of the monotony of his own life. Like a character in a novel or a television show - just another man’s object of lust and curiosity. But this man was kind, intelligent, decent, and honest from the start. 

And yet, in those cramped quarters of that hotel room, staring at the wood grain of the nightstand, you couldn’t imagine a single scenario where things ended anything other than badly. 

It had all been so simple, falling into bed with the good doctor who worked nights - whose marriage didn’t matter or had seemed not to. Maybe, in another life, he would have swept you off your feet and carried you far away to far-off places, like Scotland, where you always wanted to visit. With all his money and experience, surely he could’ve whisked you away to somewhere beyond…

Letting your fantasies consume you as you looked at him again, dark hair against the pillow, lips parted slightly in slumber, he looked more vulnerable while asleep. The hard lines on his face softened, and the ever-present intensity drained away. It would have been so easy to wake him and lose yourself in the fire again. 

But something held you back, causing your gaze to land back on the ring. You envisioned a woman with vibrant red hair who was solid and straightforward. She could be a doctor too, or maybe a real estate agent who worked 60 hours a week. 

You looked toward the nightstand drawer and knew what book would be inside—one that every hotel room seemed to have. Reaching out, you opened the drawer, examining the well-worn blue cover. Quietly, you took the Bible out and flipped through its thin pages in your lap, illuminated by the soft morning light through the crack in the curtains. Without even looking, you found the page you were searching for, mouthing the passage you had read countless times before. 

‘Though the Lord is great, He cares for the humble, but keeps His distance from the proud.’

A strange, eerie feeling washed over you as you thought about your own humanity, that ring on the nightstand. In that moment, a wave of self-pity but you as you realized how simple and insignificant humans really were. But you kept flipping through the pages anyway.

‘Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’

“D-does that include me?” You whispered to yourself, breaking the silence of the room. Of your thoughts. “I'm carrying a lot of garbage with me.” You snorted, bringing a thumb up to swipe at a tear that gathered in your eye. You smeared your face across your arm, sniffling, trying to suppress a tight sob. 

Whatever this was, whatever you had gotten involved in, there were no solutions or promises. Talking to God seemed as futile as ever. 

“I think it's best if I go home for a little while,” you said, loud enough to startle Zayne out of sleep. You closed your eyes and shut the Bible, wishing for some kind of miracle to wash away the guilt and confusion - the sin that had entangled itself around you. “I need to visit my dad,” you added, trying to steady your voice. “Get my head straight.”

Fully awake now, Zayne sat up, turning to face you. “Alone?”

His features were pinched, concerned. There was a flash of regret in your stomach, and you laughed. 

“No.” You answered. Then you shook your head. Your eyes were stinging again, but you clutched the edges of the Bible and breathed deeply. “Yes, of course, alone. God, I can't believe you just fucking asked me that.” 

The words were spoken harshly, but they were truthful and full of shame.

Zayne held his head high, revealing the internal conflict he may have been struggling with. He leaned back against the headboard, and you could see him trying to figure out what to say next as he gazed into the distance. Then his eyes closed, and when they opened and locked with you again, the hazel color seemed to dance in the dimly lit room. He swallowed hard before saying, “Maybe you shouldn't sleep around if it's going to upset you.”

“I'm upset with you, ” you stated firmly. Your thumb began tapping the side of the Bible. “I'm upset with myself.” 

Zayne shook his head in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. The look on his face made you want to reach out and comfort him. But you knew you shouldn't. That feeling of despair washed over you again, but you welcomed it this time. It was a harsh reality and a reminder of the situation. The bitter taste of logic told you that you'd been used and that despite any genuine feelings from either of you - the actions had still been wrong. 

It was a sobering realization that you loved this man, the same one you'd been sneaking around with behind his wife's back. Over and over again. Your sense of morality has failed you in the end, and you couldn't help but feel dirty, tainted, maybe even a bit worthless. You couldn't justify your actions or rationalize them anymore. 

The affections of one man had caused a tectonic shift in your being, a deep rumbling that shook you to your very foundation. Your faith in God, the same one who had taken your mother from you, was wavering even more. 

In a fit of emotion, you had quit your job that afternoon and impulsively bought a plane ticket. It was a familiar pattern - escape was the default when faced with overwhelming loss. And as you sat in the exit row, surrounded by strangers, you couldn't decide which scenario had felt more devastating - losing your mother or potentially losing yourself. 

“Remember, honey,” Your mother's words echoed in your mind as the plane took off. “A man can make you feel like the most special woman in the world. But only God can fill that hole in your heart. Don't look for love in the wrong places, alright?” 

You had pressed into the seat, tears prickling in your eyes that you blinked away. You had refused to break down here, 30,000 feet in the air, with nowhere to hide. 

Walking was always your go-to activity to clear your head. Whether it was with a destination in mind or not. Your dad had offered you use of his car plenty of times since you got home, but you declined - appreciating the privacy of walking. He hadn’t caught on how much you wanted your privacy yet but hadn’t bothered asking. Or ask why you hadn’t gone to church with him since before the festival. 

Since your conversation with Zayne, a heavy sense of something that felt like a weight clung to you like a dense fog; each step feels like a struggle, as if trudging through mud. But really, what had you expected? Your mind was clouded by the usual clarity that came with walking. But you knew you couldn’t stay in your room forever; eventually, your dad would catch on. Maybe he had learned from the experience with your mother how to catch onto sadness, and you couldn’t have that happen.  

So you did what she used to - you drank half a bottle of wine and left the rest in the fridge before heading out into the night. You had no particular destination. While drinking, you did your best not to think about your mother or whatever else was troubling you. But that’s not what makes you feel guilty. It’s a mix of everything: your secret, Zayne, and the fact you thought alcohol could numb it all away. 

As you continued to walk, the rec center by the church gradually came into view. The sign proclaiming a Bible study catches your attention and a stream of teenagers exiting the building.  They had an unmistakable energy about them, with their trendy and vibrant clothing. It was intriguing, something worth pausing to observe. Life carried on, even after you stumbled down a path and nearly fell off track. It was absurd to think about how one man’s deception could cause so much…UGH! 

You heard a familiar voice call your name from the building's steps, and you turned to see Xavier. He adjusted his jacket as he descended the concrete stairs, passing by a group of teenagers who chatted on the sidewalk. 

“Hey,” you forced a polite grin, tilting your head to meet his gaze. “Aren’t you a bit too old for youth group?”

He rolled his eyes. “I help out the Father from time to time,” he explained. “But when it’s these guys…yeah, kinda does feel like middle school over again.” He gave a small laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m so busy, I barely make it to church or anything. This was just convenient.”

“Teaching kids about the Bible, huh?” you offered, trying to keep the conversation light. The last thing you wanted Xavier to do was pick up on your melancholy mood. 

Xavier nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s nice to give back, you know?” 

“Well, aren’t you lucky?” You said, admiring Xaviers' easy smile. He had always been reliable, especially when it came to helping his parents and now working for your dad. He certainly seemed to have matured more than you and understood the importance of responsibility. 

Perhaps he could sense something was amiss, and hopefully, he couldn’t smell the wine on your breath at all. Regardless, he took the opportunity to shoo away some of the kids still lingering around before it got too dark for them to walk home safely. Once they were out of sight, he turned back to you. 

“So, how have you been? You look a little…off.” 

“Long day.” You admitted, not wanting to burden him of all people, but in some way desperately craving a scrap of real attention. “Talking about it would be too much of a hassle. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

Xaviers' brow furrowed with what appeared to be concern. “You know, sometimes talking about it can help. Even if it’s just a little bit.” He took a step closer, his eyes searching yours. “I’m here to listen if you want…” 

You hesitated, unsure if you were ready to open up. Something about Xavier's presence, the sincerity in his voice, made you feel…safe. Maybe it was the fact that you’d known him for so long, or maybe it was how he always genuinely cared about others. He was so sincere and sweet, and your shoulders slumped because you couldn’t even fathom where to begin - not wanting to. 

“I’m good, promise.” You forced another smile, and that seemed to do the trick because Xavier nodded slowly, though his eyes still flickered with concern. 

“Alright. If you say so.” 

An awkward silence hung between you both for a moment as you stood on the sidewalk, the last rays of the sun casting long shadows on the pavement. Xavier shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly wanting to say something but unsure how to proceed. 

He cleared his throat nervously and rubbed the back of his neck again. “So, I was thinking…Maybe we could grab dinner sometime while you’re here? Catch up properly?” He chuckled, an apparent attempt at hiding his nerves. 

You felt your face grow warm as you bit the inside of your cheek, attempting to contain the smile that threatened to break out. Of all the times he could have asked you out in school…

“Sure,” You stammered. “It’s been a while since we’ve just talked.”

“No, I mean, sorry -” Xaviers' eyebrows furrowed. “You know, like…a date?” 

“A date?” you repeated in surprise. 

Your laughter bubbled out of you as you looked away. After worrying for so long about being alone forever, it was strange to hear someone offer themselves to you in a way that wasn’t hinting at anything sexual—especially someone who you used to have feelings for in your youth. A tiny thrill of hope-filled your stomach. But then the guilt was quick to rush in, along with shame. It weighs on your spine and makes you force in a breath. 

You met his gaze earnestly. “Are you sure?”

“Uh, well, why wouldn’t I be? You don’t think it would be awkward, would it?” 

You shook your head, trying to push away any doubt or insecurities that threatened to overwhelm you. “No, no, it’s not that. I just…” You trailed off. 

Xavier's expression softened, and he gently touched your arm. “Y/N, it’s fine. We don’t have to. I just thought it might be nice to spend some time together, you know? No pressure.” 

You nodded, grateful for his understanding and that he was still as sweet as the day you graduated. You also didn’t want to ignore the part of you that still felt like a teenager, the small voice that begged you to say yes. 

“I’d love to go out with you, sure.” You gave in and reached into your pocket, retrieving your phone and holding it out. “Can you send a text to yourself?” 

He accepted it and began typing with his thumbs, the bright screen casting a glow on his nose. Once he was finished, he handed it back to you. 

You tucked your phone back into your pocket, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. Despite the heaviness in your heart, the prospect of a ‘date’ seemed to lift your spirits, if only a little bit. 

“I should probably get going,” Xavier said, glancing up toward the sky. “Early start at the shop tomorrow.” He looked as if he was about to say more but then seemed to think better of it. “I’ll text you soon about dinner, okay?” 

You nodded. “Sure. See you later.” 

Xavier gave a small wave and stepped off the curb to cross the street. When he was around the corner and out of sight, you felt the embrace of the fall evening again, and everything around you went silent.

Until you heard the gentle sound of a piano resounding from inside the rec center, the front door was still partially open, and the chords flowed from somewhere within; the melody was haunting and gentle. Sticking your hands in your pockets, you headed up the cement steps into the building, pushing the squeaky door open a bit more as you were greeted by the soft, dimly lit lobby. You followed the sound to one of the rooms in the back. 

Father Sylus was too focused, slender fingers moving across the keys and producing that haunting melody that you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was. Yet, you found it strangely comforting. Your feet remembered how to move, stepping forward and muffled by the thick carpet and the perfect rhythm. 

You finally recognized the tune, and a slight snort escaped your nostrils. You had been trying to find where you had heard the hymn before, but it wasn’t a hymn; it was Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera. 

He caught your eye and abruptly stopped playing, and even though you tried to suppress your amusement, he must have noticed because a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth - one that made it hard for you not to smile back. 

“I didn’t realize anyone was there.” He stated, posture stiff as he sat up straighter, making you wonder if you had interrupted him. What you really should have done was not be nosy and go home. But no, now you were forced to speak to him. 

“You, uh, a fan of musicals?” You chuckled a bit, taking in his expression - one of a man caught doing something they would have preferred someone not seeing. But there was something deeper to it as his expression darted to another part of the room and left yours as if looking for an excuse for something completely different. 

Father Sylus cleared his throat, running a hand back through his hair. “I’ve…seen some here and there.” He moved down on the piano bench, patting the spot next to him. “Sit if you’d like.” 

Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it. 

But you went over, settling onto the cool leather of the bench, arms folded. The sheet music for Amazing Grace that had been taped in place for years was slightly curled up in the corners and soft with age. It was a relic that someone had likely tried to care for, but there were pencil smudges. You reached out and tapped a key absentmindedly, just as a distraction from how close in proximity you now were to Father Sylus. 

“That was, uh, really good.” You spoke, crossing your legs at your ankles and tucking them under the bench. “I never really caught on to the music stuff.” 

“I can’t take all the credit.” He gave a small chuckle, watching your movements, hands now folded perfectly in his lap, and his eyes settled back on the keys and the markings someone had left on the notes. “I did take piano lessons up until college.” 

“What did you study?” You felt compelled to ask this question. Mainly because all your prior talks have been surface-level, skimming the waters of who you both were. But sitting here next to him, you caught on to his confidence, an educated air. 

“Music theory,” he replied, the words soft and straightforward. You watched his body language. While his posture remained still, he moved a hand around in front of him in a ‘roll over’ motion. “Then eventually theology, religion, philosophy. Mostly, I wasn’t sure what I would do in the future.” 

“So one day you woke up and said, ‘I’m gonna be a priest?’” You joked, not waiting for a response before formulating your next question. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? You don’t seem that old.” 

“Twenty-eight.” He told you, turning his head to look toward the stacked chairs against the walls. “I didn’t expect to end up where I am. I think that’s what often happens in life, though. You don’t have a plan ahead of time, or perhaps, have the expectations of something that doesn’t always end up as a concrete idea." He chuckled, "Like studying music theory.” 

“And your family was on board with it?” You asked. 

“More or less. Sometimes, I still wonder, if I had to do it again, would I?” 

Your brow arched curiously at his questions of himself, the wonderingness of his tone. 

“That’s a little deep for a regular Tuesday evening.” You managed a half-smirk, trying not to invade his space with the turn your conversation had taken. 

“Is there a set day for discussions such as these?” He countered, turning to look at you, red eyes almost glinting in challenge. His tone was almost teasing, and nerves sparked in your belly. 

“I think late Saturday evenings work,” you decided with a short hum, “Though I hear Sunday mornings are very convenient.” 

“That’s fair.” He mused with a short laugh. 

Taking a risk, you let the urge grip you and reached out, laying a hand on his arm. For a moment, the touch felt wrong, the thoughts swirling. But it was almost too perfect, the way he was just sitting there. Then it hit you what you were doing, and you pulled your hand away. 

“Sorry,” you sputtered. “I’m sorry, that was so inappropriate.” 

“No, it wasn’t,” he insisted, still looking at you. You looked away, unable to keep eye contact and rubbing your arm nervously. 

“No, it was,” you murmured. You felt ridiculous, getting way too close to the goddamn priest. You wanted to smack yourself with the disappointment that you’d just tried to flirt without realizing it. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me lately.” 

“You’re human,” he stated, and his expression was sincere as you looked back at him. “There’s something about you,” he tried to smile, but it fell flat. Instead, a slight frown formed, an almost curious look coming into his features. “Nothing’s wrong with you, truly.” His voice faltered, nearly a whisper at the end, and he laughed gently. “You’re just flawed; everyone is.” His eyes went back to the piano keys. “Even God himself isn’t perfect.” 

“I…guess that’s true.” 

Your eyes prickled. There was nothing truly remarkable about what he had said, but you dug your nails into the fabric of your jeans as you remembered your mother. You took a slow, steadying breath to try and stop the tears from coming, from recalling all those unanswered questions. 

Because, like everything else that had happened in your life recently, it was vague - only a tingle of existence in a reality that didn’t feel entirely real. One that couldn’t have been planned out by a force you couldn’t see but were supposed to feel yet hadn’t in a very long time. 

A hot tear escaped as you focused on the wall behind the piano, your voice cracked as you sought to get out an explanation for your sudden emotion. “I can’t - I did something and can’t tell you.” You sucked a shaky breath as you shuffled on the bench with the intent to stand. “Something really messed up, and I -” 

You were stopped by Father Sylus reaching a hand out, catching your own in a grasp that felt like a flame. A grasp that broke your words as you looked at his hand around your own. When you were finally able to meet his gaze, his features were relaxed and patient, willing you to speak. 

“I can’t tell you,” you repeated. “If I tell you, it means that it’s real and he exists and I - I potentially ruined everything and that I’m just a slut and a homewrecker and a sinner and I’ll go to Hell and -” 

“Stop.” 

It was a single word. Uttered with such confidence, it made you go still, frozen, and quiet, save for the deep breath you now forced yourself to take that didn’t entirely fill your lungs. You worried briefly that you’d scared the man away with your panicky ramblings. But he simply held your now trembling hand in his. Constant. Grounding. It was enough to make you realize the depth of emotion he spoke with. 

“I’m sorry.” You forced out the words, glancing down at the floor and how his feet were directly towards the piano, his attention again on the instrument. Your next question found its way past the tightness in your chest, a sudden flare of hot guilt welling. You knew the answer; it was all fire and brimstone either way and perhaps you were looking for sympathy with how he could answer in his calm and smooth voice. “What does the Bible say about adultery?” You asked.

Father Sylus may have been of the same religion. Responsible for leading the good people of this town from whatever chaos they experienced in their personal lives, or at least not eating meat on Ash Wednesday. Still, he sat silent for a while before finally turning to you. 

“I’m afraid if you’ve come to me for forgiveness, you’ll receive none from me.” 

“And what the fuck is your problem?” You stood, anger and resentment rising quickly. You crossed your arms over your chest and glanced at the ceiling. “Your whole job is to - guide people!  Something, instead -” 

“I can’t.” He stated firmly, standing and taking a step back from you. “Because I’m guilty, too.” 

“I beg your fucking pardon?” Your body tensed as you watched him suck in a sharp breath and grip at his hair, tangling his fingers through the silky strands. 

“I’m sorry,” he spoke softer now, another exhale and another step back. “I am, Y/N.” The way he spoke now was measured, perhaps even a bit apprehensive. “We all make mistakes. We all sin. Especially me.”

He looked at you, his crimson eyes burning into yours. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you, Y/N. I haven’t been able to stop.” 

His whole body tensed at his confession. The silence hung between you, heavy, and you realized he was waiting for your response... Not just waiting, but needing your response.  

“Why?” You breathed out, heart thudding loud enough in your chest for you to feel it. “If you felt that way, why -” You paused, deciding to let yourself admit the truth. “ I - I’ve been thinking about you, too.” 

The truth made your face feel hot and filled you with the most dreadful sense of shame and need - something inside you longing. You couldn’t fight the urge to keep talking, unable to hold back. “Maybe I’m just too messed up in the head. I need some fucking validation that every relationship isn’t destined to end up in disappointment that I create. Convince myself I’m more than a sex-crazed person or something.” 

You wanted to say more. You tried to open up and let it all out, but you were caught as you looked into his eyes. Ones that, for a fraction of a second, not easily caught, seemed to mirror yours as he allowed himself to come closer. 

It was impossible to stop yourself from stepping closer. The warm hand that reached out and cupped your cheek made any rational thought simply vanish from your mind. But you did manage to ask your question, albeit a little breathlessly: “What am I supposed to do?” 

“You’re asking the wrong person.” Father Sylus released a quivering breath, hand moving down your cheek to cup your jaw, but the grip wasn’t firm or demanding but - careful. Almost hesitant. 

Tilting your head slightly, the kiss was light – just the sweetest brush of heat. It sent a jolt along your skin, making it almost impossible for you not to melt into the action. 

“Please,” you heard him beg, whimpering against your mouth as he pulled back just a fraction, “please tell me that I’m not a monster for this.” His voice was husky and tinged with desperation. It sends a surge of heat straight to your core.

“No.” You found the word as you pulled back, locking your gaze. “You’re not.” 

The vulnerability he exudes is incredible, the words he speaks settling like a stone in your stomach as you process them. You found yourself torn between desire and shame. It was a feeling not unlike what you felt when you had first started seeing - 

You stepped back, releasing the hold as breath reached your lungs in a much shorter supply. How was this any different? This was far worse, if anything. 

“I - I can’t do this again.” You admitted, and in a way, your own words were painful. 

The priest didn’t move from his spot, brow furrowing in confusion. “I’m sorry, did I -” He raised a hand, not touching but hovering over your arm like he meant to. His expression was ridden with anxiety now, perhaps worry. 

His uncertainty made it all the more confusing. 

“I thought…” You stammered, unable to collect the fragments of your thoughts. “I thought that…I don’t know what’s going on.” You swallowed the lump forming in your throat.  

You took another step back, fighting the fear that encased your ribs, the twist in your gut. It was not because of his presence but what was coming to the surface now, whatever feeling was developing. “I have to go,” you breathed. 

“Wait, Y/N.” Father Sylus lifted his hands helplessly, his voice turning back to the one that offered guidance, eyes scanning the floor momentarily before looking back up. “You’re not the only one that feels or gives into things they’re not supposed to.” His brow creased while his eyes glinted with a sudden passion. He shifted his weight and stuffed a hand into his pocket, the other swooping the air lightly as he continued as if he needed to move his hand to formulate his words. “It..It doesn’t make you a monster.” This last statement was said with a sudden firmness. 

“Maybe not.” You replied, the head of tears forming a blurry haze at the edges of your vision. “But, no matter what we want - there will always be constraints.” The nightmarish cloud that had begun to permeate your mind ceased. “How do I keep ending up in these situations?” You forced out a laugh. “Is this what God wants for me?” 

“I don’t know.” His face took on a solemn expression as he swallowed harshly and cleared his throat. “The only thing I know is that…Whatever happened before, whatever you did,” he sucked in a sharp, sudden breath—no more nervous shifting. “Regardless of the sin you confessed, I don’t believe you to be a monster. Do you hear me? I’m telling you you’re not.” 

You looked at the deep set of his expression, the tender way he reached his hand up and tapped it against his chest right over his heart. The sentiment made a new swell of warmth radiate from him. He looked so earnest as he smiled, making your skin prickle again. 

“T-Thank you.” You answered him slowly, a small wave of unease settling as you struggled to respond. “That’s…very kind of you to say.” 

You weren’t sure if you should take his words as comfort or not as you turned, intending to leave, but there was no doubt in your mind that you felt slightly different from hearing them. “Have a good evening, Father.” 

“Wait.” A sudden neediness in the soft plea made you want to scream. 

Taking a deep breath and holding it tight, your eyes clamped shut, and for some reason, you were almost terrified to look back. You were terrified because you wanted to stay there, touch him, and claim every inch of him, body and soul. 

Something settled, the overwhelmed feeling easing into sadness, and you turned to him, tears clouding your vision. 

“What would it take to ease your pain?” He asked, watching the tears roll along the curve of your jaw as he waited for an answer. His expression had turned hopeful, as if he might be able to do something beyond everything else. He had asked the question like he genuinely wanted to know the answer. 

“I don’t know.” You forced your mouth to move. The words were honest, and the agony was unrelenting. 

Without waiting for a response, you turned and left. 

Tag list: @celestialforce

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[catofoldstones]

The thing about arya fans' argument that arya comes before sansa in the line of succession because robb disinherited her because of her forced marriage is the underlying misogyny and victim blaming of it, and their assumption that grrm thinks the same. We don't have jon [you know the actual person robb chose over sansa, and i think its time we start talking that the will specifically was about sansa and jon and that shit means something narratively] asserting that winterfell belongs to sansa despite everything and him not falling to the bait of stannis calling her a lannister, to just assume that according to grrm what robb did was OK. If people actually think grrm wants to show robb was right and girls truly are not important and thus his disinheritance of his sister's rights will be upheld, then they need their heads checked. Its not like he showed us that jaehaerys's sexism was what led to death of the dragons and downfall of targaryens even though grrm considers him a good ruler. Ultimately, catelyn will be validated when brienne saves either sansa or arya with oathkeeper and sansa will become lady of winterfell/qitn DESPITE robb's will. He [and arya fans] can suck it.

Hi soulmate anon,

Before we start, I have to let you know that one our previous posts was screenshotted and circulated in the arya stans circles because “we’re spreading our agenda on a neutral public platform” or something along those lines. Idk if you’ve seen that or not but I had to let you know before we go off kicking another hornet’s nest lol.

Anyway, that out of the way, to the Arya stans who are so hellbent upon removing Sansa from the Stark succession, Robb declared Jon as his heir, pushing Sansa further down the line (not disinheriting her jesus fuck) because through her Tyrion may lay claim to Winterfell, landing it in the hands of the Lannisters, exactly what Robb and Cat are trying to prevent. Robb didn’t “disinherit” Arya because he thought she was dead. Hope that helps.

WAIT!

the will being specifically about Jon and Sansa and that we need to start thinking about that narratively

SCREAM

Okay, I have now moved on (I have not). Though please feel free to talk about this more, I wanna know more. Guess I’ll now have to add jonsa tag to this answer hehe :P

I mean Robb did come from a place of “authority over the female members of his family” here with the will and that’s exactly the kind of thing we have to side eye. Taking it at face value and uncritically thinking about it is not a fair way to engage with the text I feel. You’re right when Jon himself reiterates Sansa’s claim over Winterfell, we are supposed to think twice whether Robb’s action was equitable or not. Stannis calls Sansa “Lady Lannister” to coax Jon into staking a claim over Winterfell so that Stannis gets a good reason to march to Winterfell and attack the Boltons (which he will anyway, but Jon’s, a member of the Stark family, support would mean political backing and reason). If we fall in the trap that Stannis thinks Sansa is now a Lannister, and therefore she is now a Lannister with no claim to Winterfell, then we’ve lost the plot and are coming from the same misogynistic hypocrisy (he wants Shireen on the throne if he dies but calls Sansa a Lannister, how does that work old man?) that destroys Westeros (your Jaehaerys example). And are no different from a crusty medieval era middle aged man btw.

It’s so fucking funny when the readers start emulating the same sexism that the author wants them to critique, and then start calling themselves feminists because they’re supporting a woman’s rights! Which woman’s rights besties? Because the one that clearly has them, you’re actively against her staking her claim. Wait till they read the books with their eyes open and realise that Arya comes at the end of the heirs to winterfell list, despite Sansa getting “disinherited” lmao. And I love Robb, he’s just a boy trying to do his best, but he truly made mistakes, especially with not listening to Catelyn. We also cannot deny the undercurrent of misogyny and chauvinism that Robb demonstrated with the will. Re Sansa’s rights and Jon’s decision to be with the Nights Watch. I will patiently wait for Catelyn to be validated and Sansa to be the Lady/QiTN not only because that subverts reader’s expectations and Westerosi patriarchal standards but because I want to see Sansa antis have a grand old meltdown.

[akutasoda]

can I request the OM brothers with a reader that’s kinda like Banica conchita (Evillous chronicles)? I find her similar to Beelzebub which is why I wanna request it-

universal hunger

synopsis - how are they with a banica!mc

includes - lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, wc - 1.2k

a/n: i got your other ask dw :) i kinda went more with banicas contract with the avatar of gluttony-

lucifer ★↷

↪as the eldest brother, lucifer preferred to have a good grasp on whatever idiotic thing his brothers had done. that included any pacts made. but he didn't quite know how to feel about the fact beel had made a pact with a human.

↪lucifer would've expected mammon or asmo (again) to form a pact with someone not beel. however that made him more inclined to believe that it was made with a much more valid reason. although he still wasn't quite sure how to react when you were the human exchange student.

↪it did bring some comfort knowing you would be at less risk of being a target of other demons with a pact from one of the brothers but other than that, he still didn't know how to feel about you. although he quickly realized that all you and beel shared, minus the pact, was your extreme love of food.

↪outside of that, lucifer did like how strong-willed you were. it was slightly refreshing and a welcome surprise to what he assumed the human exchange student would be like. maybe beel hadn't chosen such a bad person to form a pact with.

mammon ★↷

↪in all honesty, mammon found it near hysterical that beel made a pact with a human. he was one hundred percent certain that if he had done that, lucifer would've given him the worst punishment yet and yet he was fine with beel doing it.

↪although mammon could agree that you and beel were practically no different and it made sense why you two had a pact. your endless hunger rivaled the very own avatar of gluttonies and that was quite intimidating if mammon really thought about it.

↪originally, he would have to admit that he thought he could use your pact with beel to weasel out some grimm for him. but that plan was quickly thrown out the window by multiple factors - namely your genuine friendship with beel and overall lack of interest.

↪however that was something that he could secretly hope to build with you. for protection from those who claimed they were scammed by him and hopefully a quick source of money obviously. nothing else. not a genuine friendship. nope.

leviathan ★↷

↪levi couldn't care much less that the other hunan exchange student was someone who had already made a pact with beel. maybe he did find something comical about the situation but otherwise he couldn't have cared much.

↪although because of your previous connection to his brother, levi was much more inclined to trust you easier. beel wasn't exactly like a few of his brothers who made impulsive and often foolish decisions. and although beel and levi weren't really similar, levi could trust his judgment.

↪and even though you practically were beel if he was a human, levi found himself seeing you as a close friend sooner than he would've should you of been a complete stranger. although sometimes your strong-willed personality could intimidate him occasionally at the beginning.

satan ★↷

↪satan was rather surprised that beel made a pact with a human, it was just luck that the same person was the other human exchange student.

↪he could probably make an educated guess as to why beel would've made a pact with someone and his guess would've been right. the answer was evident by your hunger that rivaled the avatar of gluttonies own. now it seemed way too obvious.

↪in satan's eyes, your constant hunger and love for food was the exact same as his brothers, to the point that it was almost concerning considering you were still a human at the end of the day whereas beel was a demon. so satan was wildly surprised you ate just as much as beel - especially the devildom cuisines

↪but outside of that, satan was quite impressed by how strong-willed you were about anything else as well. a rather good candidate for the human exchange student who, outside of your constant hunger, was a genuine person to be around.

asmodeus ★↷

↪when asmo first found out that beel had made a pact with the human exchange student, prior to the programme, he was shocked. mainly about how he hadn't been told sooner - asmo hadn't exactly taken beel as the kind to go making pacts with humans.

↪so when you showed up in the devildom he was certainly intrigued as to why beel would've chosen to make a pact with you. although looking back asmo could've taken quite the educated guess as to why.

↪it really shouldn't of surprised him that you were practically a human version of beel and that's why you two had such a pact. but asmo thought it was quite sweet you two had such a bond over food.

↪although asmo did think that you were a nice person outside of that however. definitely someone he could talk and gossip with.

beelzebub ★↷

↪he recognised you immediately. how could he not when his pact mark thrummed to life as soon as you entered the devildom? and the fact that he could recognise you by your looks alone.

↪and in all honesty, beel was overjoyed that you were the exchange student - and it visibly showed when from the very first day of the programme you and beel practically became attached at the hip. it was clear you would adjust just fine.

↪it also became very obvious just why beel had formed a pact with you. your love of food rivaled his own and your open expression of wanting to try anything as long as it was edible meant that beel was eager to show you all the devildom cuisines he could - even if it could be harmful to humans as you didn't seem to care.

↪some people were even convinced that you were just beel if he was human. but it wasn't just your equal amount of hunger that beel liked about you, he also thought that you were just a genuine person who was nice to hang around.

belphegor ★↷

↪due to the twin bond between him and beel, whatever happened in their life was reported immediately back to the other. and so when beel formed a pact with a human belphie was the first to know. although he wasn't exactly happy about the fact some human had power over his brother now, he didn't let it show.

↪beel seemed happy with his choice and so belphie bit his tongue. even when you showed up in the devildom he held his thoughts back because beel seemed incredibly happy that you were the exchange student.

↪although, because you spent so much time with beel, that quickly became belphie as well. he was extremely reluctant at first but seeing just how much beel trusted you and how much he genuinely enjoyed being around you, belphie reluctantly gave you a chance.

↪it took a while, but eventually belphie saw why beel made a pact with you (minus the extreme shared love of food). maybe you weren't too bad, maybe belphie could bring himself to like you.

[wesleysniperking]

Respecting Usopp’s Flaws

A Rant About Fandom and Agenda Piece in One Piece Fanfiction

Disclaimer: This is just my personal opinion about how Usopp is often written in fanfiction. Everyone is free to write what they want, and this isn’t meant to police anyone’s creativity. That said, I wanted to vent some frustrations I’ve had with how certain aspects of Usopp's character are handled. If you’re a fan of Usopp and care about balanced portrayals, this might resonate with you.

A recurring issue I have with Usopp in One Piece fanfiction is how his lying is often portrayed as a negative trait that needs to be "fixed," while the other Straw Hats are rarely called out or "fixed" themselves. I love Usopp angst and enjoy Usopp-centric fics, but I struggle with Water 7 introspectives that depict him as being entirely alone, tearing himself down as if he's the only one with flaws, while the rest of the crew is portrayed as perfectly fine (when they are just as flawed). I also can’t stand fics where the author “calls him out” in hurt-no-comfort scenarios.

Everyone is free to write what they want, but I can’t get into Usopp angst unless he’s treated with dignity, validated, and there’s genuine hope by the end. Especially when Water 7 is brought up, there’s certain wording that needs to be handled carefully. Terms like “wrong,” “weak,” “sorry,” “jealous,” and “deserved it” shouldn’t be overemphasized or even included unless the point is to show how warped Usopp’s self-perception is. His lying doesn’t need to be changed unless the rest of the crew is held to the same standard. He’s a liar—so what? Luffy brought him aboard fully aware of this, and Usopp’s never hidden it; he’s even been upfront about it with Luffy, Nami, and Zoro, openly calling himself a liar.

What really bothers me in fanfiction is when authors claim to be fans of Usopp but then put him through unnecessary hardships or make him apologize for things he doesn’t need to. It often feels like they’re trying to paint him as the only flawed member of the crew, while the other Straw Hats' problematic behavior goes unchecked. This “Agenda Piece” approach frustrates me, because it’s far easier to accept Usopp for who he is than to try and change him just because he isn’t as “perfect” as the others.

If you’re going to write Usopp, please be clear about whose side you’re on. That doesn’t mean antagonizing the other characters, but if you're going to explore these dynamics, do it in a way that’s balanced and respectful. I had to get this off my chest after coming across some problematic Usopp fanfics recently—it’s motivated me to update my own stories.

gif credit

usopp club