#even if I dont answer them I promise I value them all

[oh-no-its-bird]

Adjusting my glasses and squinting at my ask box

One of you guys REALLY wants edo tensei tobirama huh

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 1 | "Don't Do This Again."

summary: a heated argument with your boyfriend Matt who’s the fuckboy of the town about him sleeping with another girl at a party you attended last night but are you going to give him another chance, or value your well being and break things off?

warnings: ANGST, arguing, cheating (do not even try), swearing, no happy ending, slapping, not proofread & possibly more?

authors note: first day of NNN means the first blurb, hope y’all enjoy this and sorry if it’s kinda rushed and short I just need to get this done by morning since I have quite a bit on my head today, luv y’all so much!

no nut november | masterlist | guestlist

“It was just this one time, cmon now!” He argued, throwing his hands in defense and trying to justify his actions in any way. I can’t believe the audacity he has to think anything of what he did was okay, he’s just another typical fuck boy. “I don’t care! You fucking promised me you wouldn’t do this to me like you did the other girls! I can’t believe I trusted you.” I yell back, feeling my frustration filling the air around me as our words echo through the room.

“Don’t be like this, I promise it won’t happen again but for real this time.” He says softly with a lower octave, attempting to get closer to me and get a grasp on my arm but I step away as soon as he reaches his arm out in my direction. “Oh don’t start with this bullshit, you’ve said it too many times already for anyone to believe it.” I argue back, rolling my eyes out of annoyance. Ive forgave him enough times already.

“Please, I really promise. Baby don’t leave me.” He said as I noticed desperation starting to rise in his eyes, I felt a slight prick of symopathy pierce through my heart. Ive given him enough chances I would be betraying my morals by staying, but he looks so desperate. "I dont think youre worth the heartbreak anymore, I'm sorry but we cant be together anymore" as the words left my mouth, I saw something crush in his eyes, his face still shadowed with faint hope. He approached me again and tried to hold onto me again, "y/n, cmon we can work this out y'know? just stay with me and we'll figure this out."

He inhales a sharp breath before continuing. "I might have been not the best boyfriend but I seriously promise ill change for you." he pleads, looking at me as if hes about to drop to his knees and worship me just in hopes to make me stay. I can feel the pain hes experiencing as it radiates off him but I turn away because I cannot stare into his eyes any longer, I hear him sniffle behind me. "y/n dont be ridiculous, we've done this before and we can do it again." he finally manages to grap my arm, his grip being tight and desperate to hold on. I remain in my stance facing the door of his bedroom and ready to storm out, suddenly he pulls at my arm and forces me to face him directly. "are you seriously just going to walk away from all of this? leave us behind?" i hear slight frustration rise in his voice, annoyance starting to now shadow his features.

"I can't let you keep breaking my heart like that, Matt! you really have to stop with doing this to every girl you're with." I state and spare him a single glare before attempting to escape his grip which only makes it tighter and now more angrier, I notice the slow chances in his apperance as well as actions. Them becoming frustrating and mean, the polar opposite of what he looked before, nothing new. He always used it to manipulate me into antthing he wanted but its not going to work on me now. "Don't even fucking try to get away from this conversation, you're staying and theres no discussion." He orders sternly, obviously making it his mission to force me into staying with him. "Matt, you're being unbelievable right now seriously. This needed to end eventually and you knew it." I answer, my temper visibly starting to rise in my tone of voice.

I roll my eyes at him, sharpingly yanking my arm out of his vice grip and storm out of the room as Matt follows right behind me. "I'm being unbelievable? oh please, dont make me laugh right now." He huffs, I turn around to glare at him and now see him fully change from plead and desperation to annoyance and frustration. I almost don’t recognize him, he takes slow steps towards me and stops a few meters away. “You’re even lucky I picked to date you out of all of the girls I can have.” He mocks, looking at me as if I’m the most pathetic human ever. Its crazy how much he changed in the span of just few minutes, it just proved how manipulative he can be.

“Who are you?” I question, angry tears filling my eyes at the thought that he could have never even truly loved me and just pretended to care when I gave him all of the chances he had now completely lost. “Oh how the tables have changed now, huh? Looks who’s now the one crying.” An evil chuckle echos through the hallway, he slowly walks towards me and I back away until my back hits the wall with a soft thud. His face comes inches close to mine, observing my pissed off expression as false hope shadows my features.

“You’re such a worthless little bitch-“ before he could finish his bullshit sentence, I deliver a deserved hard slap across his face. Slapping noice echos throughout the house as he becomes speechless, taking advantage of his frozen state I slip out from between him and the wall and dart to the front door. Escaping into my car as I faintly hear him yell out. “Where the fuck are you going?” By the time he gets outside of the front door I quickly start the car and drive off, letting the tears from my eyes fall freely without any restrain as the last time I see him press his back on the front door with an unsatisfied look on his face.

Guestlist!

| - @sturnioloblues - @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknot - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - |

[allamericansbitch]

hi everyone, ahead of the release of ttpd, i wanna set some rules and boundaries for this blog so i can look after myself and make sure things stay civilized. under the cut will be how im gonna navigate the release and the state of the blog for a while after Thursday:

closing my inbox: i've made the tough choice to close my inbox once the album is released. i know a lot of you come to me to vent, express opinions, and view it as a safe space and i value that so much. however, things can get out of hand very quickly and become very overwhelming for me. i also find myself expressing opinions im not 100% certain of, solely just to answer people. i wanna avoid 100+ messages a day, a lot of them being just repeated opinions i've already touched on, and actually take a few moments to think about things for myself, hve fully formed opinions, etc.

how ttpd will be approached: about those 'fully formed opinions' i meantioned above, of course i'll be sharing them eventually. i've decided that, after i listen to the album, i'll take the time to make 1 post about my overall thoughts on the album, maybe go track by track with short summaries of each, etc., but not post it immediately after the first listen, to again sit with my thoughts and make it a well thought out opinion and not rush into any quick judgments.

overall state of the blog: i don't know how long my inbox will be closed, i don't know how long it'll take to come up with the review of the album, i don't even know i'f i'll want to be online at all tbh. if i am online i'll post about non-taylor things and thats it. but once again, i can't make any promises about the time frame. once i do open my inbox, i wanna reiterate the boundaries i already have stated: please do not send me updates on anything taylor or travis related, please dont send me updates on every wild theory swifties post, and generally don't send me anything that you know will put me in a bad mood.

i hope everyone somehow manages to navigate the mess in their own way, i can't wait till i can come back fully and have semi-mature conversations about it. i'm doing this to protect my peace and i hope others try and do that too. love you all 🥰

[askew-d]

Hello...Have you watched Haikyuu movies? It's great....And we got lots of Kuroken moments and "that"one Kagehina moment.... So, as Kagehina shipper, have you ever ship Hinata or Kageyama with other character? For me, I have read Kageyama with Oikawa fic (I enjoy it but not really into that ship, all the time thinking of Iwaoi) and Hinata with Atsumu fic (one of my friend love that ship, wrote a fic and asked me to read them). And as much as they're all good, my otp will always be Kagehina. Like they were made for each other and it has to be them...

Do you also have other ships that you love from MDZS and TGCF? Sorry, if you asked me this, I have at least 8 ships in total from those two series, all of them are non canon (Xuexiao, Xiyao, Zhuiling, Beafleaf, Fengqing, Quanyin, Peihuang, Xuyue)....

Sorry for this random and long ask, hope you don't mind....

hello, anon!! sorry i am late for this, hope you understand. life has been crazy, haha. anyway, let us go: i did watch the haikyuu films and recently in was at the cinema with a friend watching the dumpster battle, let me tell you i was OVERJOYED!!! heavens, i could not control my anxiety. though my friend also likes the anime, she isnt as obsessed as me and didnt even finish the last season when we talked about watching the brand new release, so i had the OUTSTANDING experience of rewatching it with her so we could buy the tickets after!! i lost count of how many times i watched it and how many times i made other friends try it out (at some point, i recommended it to even one of my students during a totally unrelated discourse, hahahaha, hope he shares his opinions once this winter break finishes).

since i watched haikyuu about... five years ago? i must have rewatched some seasons more than ten times. its my comfort show! love every film also. about the ships, kagehina is my endgame, but i definitely love kuroken, iwaoi, bokuaka and sakuatsu (though i consume kagehina content much more). of course every ship is valid, i cannot judge anyone, however, i personally cant see hinata or kageyama with anyone else and do not read stories too focused on other relationships :) i can comprehend why fans see something with oikawa and kageyama, or even oikawa and hinata (considering their interaction in rio), but i do not settle with it in my heart. its just profiles and options, anyway! dont mind, dont mind.

i agree with you. for me, they are soulmates through and through. perfect for each other. one is the promise, the other is the anchor. they might be one of the couples i have seen anywhere that matches each other's vibe the best.

about mxtxt works, my favorite side ships are moshang and beefleaf. i can see the appeals in each one you mentioned, but i just never quite got interested to the point of reading about it, sorry!! some of them maybe its because they did not have a finale extra shot, or at least they were not as spoken/seen together as they were individually. for fengqing, though i like them as a side couple in hualian fanfics, i never quite got engaged in their story together, many times they just annoyed me (god, im scared of saying that and people coming at me, but there you go). but i know they have their values and some interactions i could almost forget my light, petty resentment for their actions and laugh along. beefleaf though? mobei-jun and his creator shang qinghua? heavens, i wanted to see more of them.

so, this is it! do not worry about asking whatever and whenever you want to ask. i love coming here to answer them when i have the time. thank you!! hope you can spot a nice sunset and take a relaxing shower today.

[seth-shitposts]

"Next time they make a move, we'll be waiting for them to snuff out that spark before it catches fire."

-Kallus [s1e1]

-

"I never asked questions."

"Well maybe you should start. Or are you afraid of the answers you'll get?"

-Kallus & Zeb [s2e17]

-

"You have the heart of a rebel."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

-Thrawn & Kallus [s3e21]

-

"You disgust me, traitor."

"The day I betrayed your empire, Governor, is the day I finally stopped betraying myself."

-Pryce & Kallus [s4e15]

---

Alex: I'm dumping a theory essay / speculative thoughts here, and I am solely pulling from my memory which isn't always 100% accurate, but here's some of my thoughts on aspects of Alexsandr Kallus’s core character. (This is just what I think, of course, don't take it as facts. I'm literally just dumping words. And parts of this is strongly headcanon, as we dont have much canonically for his backstory.)

I believe that Kallus has always had "the heart of a rebel".

I believe that he's always had a strong sense of justice and values. Or maybe one that he built from scrap himself and with the resources available to him. (And, of course, just because one has a strong sense of justice, does not make that person automatically correct.)

He himself has said and believed [back before he searched for answers and became disillusioned from the empire] that the empire brought about justice and order to the galaxy. That's what he believed he had been supporting, it's what he was placing his loyalty into.

I feel that Kallus may have always had a twinge here or there, a feeling that something was off or a seed of doubt. But it was always just small and it would have been easier to push it aside and let himself believe that somethings cannot be helped, that sometimes the ends justify the means. This is what he would have been taught in his IBS training, given the nature of his job.

If Kallus was indeed from the lower levels, then he would have been witness to not only disorder and wrong doings on a daily basis, but also higher levels of violence as well. So when the empire did recruitments with promises of what would have allured the citizens of the lower levels to join the academy, it would have been in character for Kallus to have joined at the chance to bring change for the better to the galaxy, to places similar to where he came from.

And the contrast between the lower levels and the academy would have been a huge culture shock, one that would have taken some getting used to. So he probably started right off the bat with observing, trying to figure it out. And then there would be minor things here and there that he may have felt somewhere was off. Maybe he even questioned it, but would immediately shut the train of thought down if it were even implied that he was being disloyal or didn't have faith in the system.

And even of it felt wrong to him to do some of these things, that it was causing internal conflict, he would snuff out the doubt, extinguish the questions, because there was a goal that needed to be met. Even if he found something distasteful, he would ignore it until eventually he didn't feel that recoil anymore. Because he believed that the empire was right, that if he tried hard enough, he would accomplish what he had set out to do. And over time, he snuffed out that spark. And the fact that he had lost those who were close to him, all in one fell swoop on what was supposed to be just a routine mission probably made it easier to dedicate himself to a system that made promises of justice and order. So he probably really should stop questioning things, it would've been in his best interest.

Over the years, it would have been a slow progression of the Empire's tactics becoming more and more extreme, just enough small changes building up so that it would have seemed that increasing the iron grip was the best course of action. It produced the best results, the Empire would have become more powerful, and therefore allowed the empire to expand its reach even further and cover more ground. Stopping rebellions at the roots, ending a small spark before it has the chance to burn down a house. And maybe in this twisted perception, Kallus would have thought that the way to make sure another massacre like what happened on Lasan didn't happen again would've been to do this. To snuff our sparks before they become so big that the Empire's only response is to end the whole situation through brute force and overpowering numbers. There was most probably a part of Kallus that knew something about what had happened to Lasan was wrong, but he chose to override that and continue on the mission.

Despite how hard he had been throwing himself into walls to capture the ghost crew and to "finish what he started" there was still that something there, as it would have brought him to feel the need to say something about it to Zeb on the moon. About how it wasn't supposed to be a massacre, but he realized the empire wanted to make an example. Part of him would have had to of known that it was wring on some level, but he still chose to snuff out the doubt. Because the doubt would only lead to the need to ask questions and asking questions would only lead to being accused of disloyalty and doubt in the entire empire itself.

But then came the point in Legends of the Lasat when Kallus had to face the realization that no matter what he did, he wasn't going to catch the rebels, he wasn't going to catch the ghost crew. He had been chasing this group for well over a year at this point and every time they still managed to evade capture, to escape, to survive, to live. They will only ever remain out of reach, even when he throws caution to the wind. In that moment, something deep in him knows that it's not going to happen. It doesn't stop him from trying again, but there's that little seed that remains.

And then Zeb tells Kallus that maybe he should ask questions. Or is he afraid that he'll find the answers and not like the harsh truth? To have to face the fact that for nearly two decades he had been devoting himself to a system that has only been oppressing the galaxy, that he had been betraying his own morals and values for false promises.

Zeb saying that to Kallus would have dragged back every bit of doubt, every question buried alive. It re-lit a spark. So Kallus took the borrowed courage, because stars knows that he had been too much of a coward to do it himself up to this point, and chased down some answers. And those answers we his worst fears confirmed, that he had betrayed the fibers of his own being and committed terrible acts for lies. And rather than run or slip into despair, Kallus immediately took to following what he thinks is right. The best way to help others is to do what he can to help the rebellion.

And he doesn't change allegiances for anyone but himself. Because it's what he believes to be the right thing to do, and it is. Finally having forced himself to swallow his pride he looked to the whole truth for what it was. And even though he may not have liked what he saw, he still had to face it and do the next right thing.

And even though there was the pain and guilt of the fact that he had done what he did, there may have also been this sense of relief. While it was still suffocating to have learned the truth, there was a part of him that was finally allowed to breathe again. A part of him that came back full force.

[hamwarts]

Dashcon Two is Suspicious at Best

I'm gonna be honest its been so long now and Ive been following the website for updates, Dashcon Two is most likely very mismanaged or some form of (intentional or not) fraud, their website is lacking in information but filled with oh so le quirky jokes.

Here's a timer on their site, and promises of Toronto, yet... they have no venue yet? It'd be generous to call this bold, id say this is shortsighted.

Ah yes, i should trust you because... squints eyes.. we totally are way better than the last one... trust me... The staff is incredibly so overtly qualified and yet.. not any actual names, not any actual sources for their work experience, not even fucking tumblr links to any of the staff, just first names and bio's written more to make you chuckle at best case scenario and stare in abject apathy in most cases. (As if this would pass as anything to a generation that has had to learn how to lie in their resume's as a bare minimum for employment. )

There's only one person who has any links whatsoever, and it's Martin, the artistic director who is credited with making the OC's

However they are credited *wrong* , no tumblr is listed??? at all? and the @picc-is-free is not even correct, it has no dashes in instagram, which is a minor error but their actual tumblr is https://paintbrushinacoffeecup.tumblr.com/ (Do not harass this person, like don't even contact them unless you know what you're doing(like actually)) I don't believe Martin to be some mastermind or anything, and i wonder if they just got commissioned for some pieces and named as Art Director therefor after? Also worried about this being some form of scapegoating, having just one person who works for you as the named individual , who is just an artist not even know... the main organizer?? an actual director??? anyone else?? at all???

And for the rest...Yep, those first names are all you get, not even a tumblr link to any of their pages (this is a convention about tumblr...), nothing, and none of their previous work has any sourcing whatsoever, no mention of *which* previous events or *which* campaigns, yeah this is very trustworthy This is without mentioning the fact some of these credentials are just clear exaggerations with how vague they are.

Do also keep in mind that this about us page, is a *reply* to an already lack of answers or information

would recommend people don't get their hopes up, not that i think anyone will, and absolutely, do NOT donate or support this until there's any form of tangibility, and even so i am cautious permanently for them announcing it in this state and taking so long to say anything of value (which until now, is None.) I'm just a layman here but any major projects Ive seen in the past of any form of planning capacity have a lot of tangibility when announced to the degree this has, and unless i magically missed some vital info that was displayed in some dark corner i doubt this shit is real. I could be wrong and i assume the youtubers and big people that have been in contact with the organizers hopefully have any info of some kind but this shit is very weird from a publicity standpoint. Obviously i understand that according to them, they had to announce things early, but it sure has been a while from the announcement now, and they sure didnt* need to put a timer and they sure didnt* need to give out half assed answers for their staff or website, so i dont really find that to be a satisfactory answer as to why i should trust this as an actual event.. This is all subject to change of course but , as of now, something smells fishy, and reeks of incompetence and youthful hubris, so it Really IS DASHCON TWO!! Get excited guys... here comes another disaster

[specialmouse]

I know you just posted paragraphs but do you have more tidbits about your OCs?

I do ofc ofc.. i'll give you everything i know..

davyne and opal arent all that fleshed out tbh like idk their backstories or anything. The script is about davyne realizing no one is watching her sets anymore so she puts blood capsules in her mouth before performing and pretends to cough up blood during dont let me be misunderstood by nina simone. Davyne pretends shes dying and opal posts the video to tiktok and it goes (relatively) viral (idk if tiktok would actually allow something they thought was real blood up there but idk and idk if this would even go viral LMAO), and the next gig she has the bar is completely packed and people are filming. Then davyne does a dramatic monologue, puts two blood capsules between her teeth and bites them then spits into the crowd, and starts lipsyncing to maybe this time LMAO it’s very heavyhanded. I titled it hard pill

The script with maryam and chunxiu are from is called venture. Chunxiu is 36, mixed as fuck because it’s 200 years later but his mom values her chinese heritage so she named him that. He was born on a wealthy space station and had access to the best education. He’s quite conceited and completely unaware of it; he thinks he earned his degree because he was smart, and he is, but it’s mostly because he was rich and had connections. Maryam is from Lebanon, which technically doesn’t exist anymore but the people there carry the name on (is lebanon an exonym? I couldnt really find an answer in the brief search i just did). They are one of the recipients of the rimco intergalactic scholar awards, which is where they take up 100 kids from earth each year based on their “academic promise”; it’s really a pr thing, because no one goes to school anymore. Maryam has been in space for 9 years when the script starts.

basically they go to a planet that's made just of a gelatinous clear ocean and a beach made of glass shards, with volcanoes on the seabed. it's like, literally nothing. it's supposed to be a one and done mission, in and out. chunxiu at this point has been to 30 planets to scout for a lack of life and he's getting angry at all of this; he's a biologist, he has a phd, he's meant for more than scanning things and finding nothing! he had actually found something a few years prior, several species of cyanobacteria, and it meant he had found alien life in the universe; then rimco had the laws changed as to what constituted life and it meant that he actually hadn't. so he's incredibly salty about that. anyway chunxiu and maryam have a discussion that reveals their disparate backgrounds and it goes into the ravaging of earth that the corporations have left behind, highlighting chunxiu's (and by extension anyone rich enough to life in space's) ignorance to what the corporations are up to, and have done in the past. they go to sleep, wake up, and it cuts to the pilot sent to retrieve them doing "peer review" (lazily doing their job again)-- and out in the ocean they see this blob creature with eyes like the moon that orbits the planet, and they're like HOLY SHIT LOOK LOOK WHAT IS THAT and the pilot kills it immediately. and theyre like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU and hes like do yall not know protocol..? oh wait i forgot they dont tell the techies shit. and walks away and theyre left there to be like ohhhh fuck. even if we find it they're killing it and we're not even important enough for them to tell us anything. and that's where it ends but i imagine they'd go on to start a revolution or something idk. havent gotten there yet

sooo about the harrisons... i named cash after cash bundren from as i lay dying by faulkner, silas and celeste were from my great-great grandparents and i named andy that because he wants to go by andrew to seem more manly but everyone still calls him andy. i might change his name to laurie/laurence for the same effect. andy is older than cash but cash was always the more masculine one, he was a massive bully but handsome enough and he got more girls and more attention than andy ever did, who was more sensitive and shy.

andy moved out of the town when he was 23 to new york to become a writer (this was in the late seventies, mind) and while he was able to find work as a journalist, he never really became a published author, and wasn't of much acclaim either. celeste was one of the prettiest girls in town growing up but she didn't have much aspiration. everyone in the town was poor but celeste was even poorer. she married cash when she was 18 and cash was 24; andy was 27 at this point. they had a series of miscarriages for five years straight until they had silas. cash had become a cadet in that time and was working his way up the police force. as soon as silas was born, cash's anger turned into abuse; physical abuse as well as alcohol. andy only came home to go to their great-aunt's funeral (used it as an excuse to get out of doing a pop culture piece he found distasteful; i'll figure out what it would be in 1989 with some google searches, idk). in 1997 cash shoots himself in the head in their garage after a drunken bender, but not before penning a three page letter to andy. the content of the letter is nonsense, blaming everyone in his life for his struggles, saying they (celeste, his coworkers, silas, the child celeste is pregnant with (that's not actually his), the dogs) are of the devil, saying he's fighting against children of satan, etc. andy, who is now in his 40s, hasn't had a major relationship in 10 years and is rather worse for wear. he receives the letter, and uses it as an excuse to visit celeste, who is now widowed. he doesn't see this as him taking his husband's widow, but rather him saving her from a life of single motherhood. the script is celeste and andy talking to each other and it becoming increasingly clear what andy's motives are. the conversation gets more and more tense as his not-so-pure intentions are laid bare to the grieving, over-worked celeste, and she throws him out. as andy drives away, he sees a kid beating up another child in the front lawn of the neighbor's. the kid leaves the other on the ground and makes eye contact with andy as he's come to a stop. it is clear (through dialogue from earlier in the script) that this is silas, and that his father's ways have already been instilled in him. end of script!

[pompadourpink]

Bonjour! Do you have any advice on preventing work burnout? It's only my second day at a new job and there is so much to learn and I want to keep up but I dont want to seem needy. People say that I can ask for help if I need it, but I think they just say that and dont actually mean it to seem polite. I dont think anyone has time or patience to hold my hand rn and want to do their jobs without interruptions. I'm overthinking everything I do and overanalysing my performance and I'm so tired already

Hey darl (I wrote too much again),

First I recommend you take a look at this post and then this one; I believe they are the most important ones I've written.

Work burnout is a symptom of insecurity. It tells me that you see your value in obedience, in productivity, in discipline. That you were probably a tortured student. That you spent entire nights rewriting conversations because you didn't like your performance.

However, darling girl, you are not a puppy at a show dog and no one is asking you to be that. Well, for you to be like that now, maybe your parents did when you were younger. They should not have.

Your manager didn't hire you to carry the whole company on your shoulders. No one is asking you to be Atlas or Sisyphus and to sleep at the office and to tattoo their logo on your forehead. Your colleagues know that beginnings are hard and deciding that you know their "true" intentions is only going to make your life more difficult.

Before doing this, I worked at two big companies and hated my time there. The second one was objectively terrible, but the first one could have been a better memory if I hadn't been stuck in a type-A/eldest daughter mindset that drove me to take on too much and make promises I couldn't keep, which led to exhaustion and a mediocre to bad relationship with most colleagues as they felt judged and threatened by my attitude.

So, short-term answers:

Find a couple of people you like and get in touch once you have several questions. If it's an option, skype them asking if they have five minutes and either drop by their office or call them. Be pleasant and eager, not apologetic (I found that acting like you have a broken paw makes people aggressive because you have no reason to be afraid of them and are still acting like you're expecting the worst from them).

Do what you are asked, ask for feedback, be on time, present well, have a courteous but professional relationship with your supervisors and closest colleagues, go home. No extra unpaid work, no parties, no social media (and don't explain yourself). Protect yourself. Don't give ammo to the angry.

Breathing exercises and yoga. Have lunch alone, outside, in silence. Listen to the birds. Prioritise socialising and the things that make you happy.

Long-term answers:

Have a friend come over during the weekend and do three things: declutter the whole house, spring clean, meal prep dinners + freeze them. I remember very well how exhausted I was back in 2018: I'd go home, slump on the couch, put on some Golden Girls in the background and rot the entire evening. I wasted a lot of money on takeout. Make your routine as effortless as possible and rot away if that is what you need. And you do.

Therapy. Easy answer but remember what I said: this is not a personality trait, it's a symptom. You need to revisit the way you see yourself, your definition of happiness (if you have one at all), your goals, your relationship with work and duty, the weight of your education on your current lifestyle.

Self-love. I don't know how long you've been a reader but I beat depression in 2020 after battling it since I was a teen; although cutting ties or therapy helped, the real key was found in love. Get some pictures of yourself when you were a kid and talk to that little girl. Tell her how you feel about her. Tell her the amazing things that happened since the pic was taken. Tell her about your dreams. Give her the compliments she's been wanting to hear this whole time. Apologise for treating her like crap, starving her, calling her ugly, neglecting her needs, whatever it is. Put those pictures up in your flat, keep one in your wallet, make one your phone's background. And every time you feel like being mean to yourself, look at her and ask yourself if she deserves it. And every time you make eye contact with a pic, tell her "I love you". Out loud. Treat yourself how you would treat her if you had custody. Hug her when she's sad, put her to bed when she's tired, get her snacks and a show when she's sick, surround her exclusively with people who understand how special she is. Because she really is the best little girl.

Good luck, darling. It's a long way but it's worth the hassle.

Much love,

Mum

[shyghost]

(gigantic bnha spoilers ahead if you dont want to see it hit "j" or just keep scrolling)

ok. ok. i'm having so many thoughts about shigaraki's story and in my mind there's a way for it to still be salvageable. no hate to hori, he's an exhausted person under so much stress, and he wants this shit to be over. but this is my personal truth.

tl;dr: nana shimura has a heart-to-heart with her grandson, reassuring him that his feelings about the league were not manipulated, and he cared about them deeply and truly regardless of AFO's meddling, and that tomura can still save them. he's apprehensive about this until he hears kurogiri say "his friends are waiting for him." this is what "wakes him up" and causes him to lead the charge to defeat AFO from the inside. deku has to acknowledge that he didn't beat AFO on his own, he has to say that shigaraki helped him.

longer version under the cut:

chapter 424 would be tomura rising.

cut to the flashback of tomura being silenced by AFO. he is free-floating with his hand outstretched thinking "i guess this is it, it's all over." but then nana's hand reaches out to his spirit vestige hand and grabs it or whatever, saying "i wont let you disappear, tenko."

he is admittedly confused and upset by her saving him, and so he asks her why she bothered to keep him from vanishing. to which nana answers that she knows he has every reason to hate her, but she couldn't sit by and let heroes fail him again. and that his family needs him.

tomura scoffs like "i don't even know you, you're not my family" and nana responds "yeah, i'm not the one who needs you. what about your league?"

tomura thinks about them all shocked for a moment. nana continues, "do you think AFO will keep them safe? that he'll honor your promise? the one you made assuring them they can live however they want? if he could turn against you so easily, you, his precious protege, why would he not turn against them?"

tomura is silent for a beat and then nana says "tenk--... tomura. your life may have been manipulated by AFO, but he's wrong about you never making a decision on your own. you truly valued and cared about your league. you protected them, looked after them, bonded with them. your relationship with them was very real, and very important."

tomura kinda snaps at her, "how would you know?" to which nana responds, "because we saw it."

she quotes him, "'even if i were to turn into an empty shell, i'd still need to be a hero to those guys--the villains...' ... isn't that what you said?"

she then kneels down to him and reaches out her hand again and says, "so, grandson, i'm asking: do you still want to be a hero?"

tomura thinks about it, but doesn't take her hand, scratching at his neck instead like "even if i wanted to, what could i do from here?" so nana pats his head instead and says "we'll figure it out together."

the other vestiges appear before him, and they kind of explain what's happening on the outside. that AFO is destabilizing, and deku is making his way to him as they speak. yadda yadda. tomura is unconvinced but then they hear kurogiri's "AFO, please give back tomura shigaraki. his friends are waiting for him."

suddenly tomura snaps out of it. he's furious again. he still wants the destruction of that house. and AFO is the literal root cause of everything that made that house. and if he can't destroy hero society, he can at least destroy AFO.

he finally decides, "we should attack him from the inside." he thinks about all of his friends, about spinner, about his family, about how he will reclaim his life. it is HIS LIFE.

then the rest we saw. etc etc. i dunno. something like that.

when deku gets accosted by his friends, and they're all like "you did it!!" he says "i didn't do it alone. i had you guys and also shigaraki."

and they're like "wtf" and he's like "i couldnt have done it without him, he destroyed AFO from the inside, even though it meant sacrificing himself."

everyone's got a moment of stunned silence pondering the implications of that.... and so forth.........

I DUNNO, IF I COULD DRAW I'D JUST DRAW IT OUT BUT MY SKILLS ARE TERRIBLE

[beeflibeef]

Thoughts and opinion on abusiveness and relationships

Very long. At the end it has useful links to posts that explain abuse , toxicity and help you identify it well, some good posts that explain why some things are okay and dont make you evil.

the same post in the form of google doc

If you are starting a relationship with Anyone - it is completely alright to break up / dump the person, for any reason, especially at the start. 

Every person you recently meet is merely a stranger, at the core of things. A stranger - is a person you owe nothing to. You didn’t have history together, you didnt make promises, and even if you did, promises with strangers are bad news. So, every take such as “leaving that person is bad” , “leaving is immoral”, “leaving makes you disloyal or a deceitful person” - is fundamentally wrong.

It is especially true if you only just met and happened to like each other and started dating. Even if you feel unsure and guilty - check the explanation above and remind yourself that it is not wrong to leave them if you want to leave / feel like you should.

==

The reason it is Right to leave a person because of a gut feeling / bad feeling - there are two reasons:

1) The gut feeling could be based on the problematic things you saw in your partner that you subconsciously noticed but your brain missed. It still means that the problematic thing occured or that the partner is problematic

2) even if the point number 1 is wrong and your gut feeling is wrong, getting in relationship with someone while having a bad gut feeling is still not a good idea - because: your wrong gut feeling could happen because you are having mental issues and your paranoia could go in the way of building the relationship - the relationship wont work. 

Always, always, if the person starts shaming you or saying you are bad for wanting to break up - it is a red flag.

Why is it a red flag?

If the person is shaming you for that decision - they either don’t care about Your choices, and value their own wishes Above yours. Or they have such strong obsession that it Will make the relationship bad if you stay. So staying is Bad in any case - whether the partner keeps you out of malice or without any bad intention.

Debunking Very Popular but Wrong things 

Love is Not desperation. 

These are completely different things, but they get confused a lot by toxic or abused partners.

True Love involves Security and Peace. If you are with a person and you feel desperate to keep them - it means it would be better to leave. It sounds impossible but.. you have to fight your feelings, or wait until the emotions and obsession wears off, take time to self-reflect and to think about it, and then when you let the emotions through and stop feeling desperate, you can choose to stay. 

If you feel like it doesnt make sense “why leave when I feel strongly about the person?” “why leave if I feel i MUST stay at all costs?” - you already have the answer in your questions. 

The strong emotion could occur because of experiencing huge levels of stress, or because of struggles you go through, Your mental issues. Going through stress doesnt mean any good things. If your partner doesnt do anything about it - they Dont Love you. Because, well.. if a person loves someone who goes thorough so much turmoil, they’d take any measures they could to make it stop or tone it down. If they knew it is Because of them, they’d leave. If the person insists on keeping you because they “love” you, even though it actively stresses you out - you, or who you are, or your feelings, have no place in their heart.

Abuser - is not a monster, or someone who is a horrible being who abuses in worst ways - at least not all are. Abuser is merely a person who was acting abusive toward you. Abuse can come from good intentions. Abuse can happen out of panic. So it is important to remember that abuser could be someone you think is normal or good even or just a person you see somewhere doing their stuff.

===

=

The essential part of relationship is security.

It is when you don’t feel paranoid that the one you love or care about will leave abruptly without explaining. When you can take some time for yourself and don’t exist solely with that person.

But it is important to remember that that sense of security is something you learn – not something you demand from the person or take by force.

If someone wants to feel secure with you but they flat out demand it from you, or constantly remind you of it, it is wrong of them to do that – they didn’t learn to ask about security in healthy ways and instead do it in toxic ways. It is ok to reassure them and to have a mutual agreement, but it is not okay when you feel pressured all the time and get reminded at every turn. If the person refuses to change that, they don’t care about your feelings and I’m not sure that means they’re worth it.

=

Last but not least, it is okay to ask third opinion from others on the relationship or the person (but without intention to gossip). Just talking badly and venting about the person without confroting said person is very wrong and it wont make things better – it will only increase negativity between you both. It is okay to ask about something that bothers you from someone you think is okay.

It’s okay to ask parents about it, but if its dangerous or you cant ask them, it’s okay to ask other people you know. Usually when a person is adequate and nice, they may have a pretty good judgement on things. But again gossiping is wrong.

Asking about the partner or friend is better than completely isolating yourself, it will make your sense of reality worse and you will struggle to have proper judgement. It will be easier to gaslight you if the person turns out to be abusive. Or if the person is good, it will make them feel bad too.

=

=

Useful posts that explain things about abuse or healthy communication pretty well that I have seen and thought are good:

Warning: Reading about such difficult topics may be triggering for you , or it may make you feel depressed, so take your time and only read when you are mentally prepared for it.

Tw: some blogs the links take you to , have bright colors and may trigger photosenstitivity or epilepsy 

(tw bright colors)

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Really well written red flags that abusive people show 

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Abusers don’t come with warning labels 

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Differences between gaslighting lying joking and pranking 

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Detailed explanation about what gaslighting is (yellow colored blog)

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Other post that explains gaslighting

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Harmful actions from your friend or partner that isolate you but dont seem like isolation at first 

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Good traits turned sour 

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10 signs of an abusive relationship (detailed and spot on) 

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Self-deprecation as a form of bad communication 

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Do not excuse bad relationship if it’s queer  (header has an image with a pattern with parallel colored lines)

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People are not plants and you are not a gardener: difference between inconvenient and toxic (header is a gif with light dots that appear and disappear on loop)

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Signs that you have been emotionally abused  (i cant identify the safeness of the color of the op’s blog - the color is strong purple-lavender)

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Validation of privacy “I need privacy not because my actions are questionable but because your judgement and intentions are” (header has an image with patterns similar to van gogh painting)

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Abusers change the rules where you are always in the wrong

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A post that articulates well that “I have trauma and you Dont” is a poor excuse (if the abusive person says that as a way to prove they are allowed to act hurtfully) 

- or a tip to remember when you meet those who try to convicne you you dont have trauma or struggle or your trauma is less than theirs. 

(blog of a very strong green color)

------

their lack of coping skills does not make you talking about your feelings abusive or bad 

Other useful posts

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Signs of childhood emotional neglect (CEN)

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People who mistakenly self-diagnosed aren’t evil (blog of a very strong pink color)

Note: I understand some may not apply for certain persons, and it was my personal pick and posts that I personally thought are good.

----

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this is still a draft and its messy, but im not sure I will make it into something full.

====

additional thing about minors and adults..

about pretty bad topic. so dont read of you get triggered

It is especially hard to understand you are being hurt or abused, if you are neurodivergent and have struggle understanding your feelings.

It is ESPECIALLY hard for minors to get out of abusive relationship.

Because minors are people who are in the process of learning and dont know a lot of things. Minors are expected to trust adults , minors are bullied by society into feelings guilty for expressing themselves. unfairly.

This is why it is especially easy for minors to be involved in abusive relationship. This is why in many cases minors wont even recongnize abuse, because the treatment they may receive by abusive partners is widely seen as normal or expected.

Since minors are very much prone to feeling guilt for saying no or “acting mean”, they are likely to stay in a bad relationship.

-

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Trigger warning: includes topic of pedophilia

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Normally, adult is the one who is supposed to give more than they take , and minor is supposed to take more than they give. And such interactions should be entirely platonic, never romantic.

And an adult must not get in relationship with a minor. It should Not happen, not in any casses, no exceptions. It is Absolutely wrong.

I get why minors may not understand why it is wrong. I guess I should explain why:

It takes away minor’s life. But not exactly in a literal sense. Adult who decides to get together with a minor, never does so out of good intentions, or is completely deluded (but that’s not minor’s responsibility what adult’s delusions are).

Adult is always – always a different category. Adult always knows more (or is supposed to know more). An adult has more experience. Even if an adult isn’t experienced, it doesn’t excuse them – they still lived through a lot more years than any minor.

Every adult that Knows who they are and takes accountability for their actions, knows that they should be responsible for their own actions. They Know they are older and stronger (not literally) than a minor.

The idea “mature for their age” in relation to a minor is wrong. Unfortunately, it is Widely used and accepted by society. However, that sentiment is not right. A minor cannot be “mature”. Minor behaving calmly or being obedient and acting similarly to adults is not an indication that the minor is mature.

Maturity comes with age. Every single child is a growing organism – their nervous system, their body are still in the process of forming. It applies to most people – including neurodivergents. In other cases – it is due to a disorder and still doesn’t mean a minor can be “mature”.

“Maturity” that a minor shows, is commonly the opposite of true maturity – it may be a sign of trauma or struggle. Maturity doesn’t equal “being calm, quiet” or “knowing a lot of things”. It is a common misconception that plays against minors and clouds their judgement a lot. If a minor acts that way, it means they are struggling or have some sort of trauma that needs help. Unfortunately, is it widely used by adults (including parents) to avoid responsibility for their actions and to shift blame on minors.

Maturity means being able to accept responsibility for your actions, mostly. There could be other traits listed as maturity but they may seem as subjective and don’t apply to certain groups. But it is still a part of full maturity - only mental aspect of it.

Maturity can be physical and mental. And adult is mature physically. Let’s hypothesize that you are mature mentally, but are a minor – that means you are yet not mature physically – which means you are NOT truly mature yet.

A minor cannot be truly mature simply because it is not possible. Every minor that was convinced they are mature for their age – were gaslit or lied to by those who said that.

A minor cannot be like an adult. A minor cannot be equal to adult. It is Not possible. Those who convince otherwise, merely weaponize that deception and lie against minors to cover up their own faults and wrongdoings. A minor can merely pretend to act like an adult but to Be an adult, they can only by becoming adults themselves.

The same is with minors that hit puberty earlier than other minors. It doesnt mean they matured early. It merely means they hit puberty at earlier stage, but that doesnt shorten the period of growing. Early bloomers are still growing too. They still have brains and vision of a minor. 

Late bloomer adults are still adults - because they have more years of experience. 

It is sort of like the saying:

An adult can remember what it’s like to be a child and make mistakes in childhood. A child cannot know what it’s like to be an adult.

An adult is not equal to the minor, no matter what. Adult is always someone with more power.

The power of having bigger experience in life. The power of more knowlegde in things. The power of having a body and brain that has grown and developed (trauma doesn’t excuse).

More power – more responsibility.

When two interact, an adult must always have more responsibility compared to a minor. It is completely normal.

A responsibility to know better, a responsibility not to force minor into things they don’t like, a responsibility for their own actions.

And a minor has the right to express their feelings, including negative feelings about the adult they talk to. It is Not okay for a minor to hide their feelings in favor of the adult and to take responsibility for the adult’s actions

By taking responsibility I mean things like:

Trying to comfort in every interaction, listening to lash outs. Trying to be reasonable and thinking of ways to mitigate the situation. Having to be the one who tries to make the situation better. etcetera

Relationship is about equality between persons involved in it.

An adult and a minor cannot be possibly equal.

And if an adult try to get in relationship with a minor, that possibly means that minor will have to be “equal” to an adult. That means the adult deliberately takes away minor’s rights and minor’s experience.

Many adults who lure you into getting in relationship with them – don’t care about you at all, they don’t even plan to stay with you – they dont think about how it can affect you. You are not a person to them, no matter what they’ll say. You don’t exist to them, your good wishes for them or good intention for them, your care for them means nothing to them. Because if it did matter to them – they wouldn’t have got in such mess with you in the first place.

This is why it is Impossible for an adult and minor to be in healthy relationship. This is why it is a red flag, and wrong, and is something only really vile or mentally ill people promote. This is why it is Traumatizing and destructive for the minor.

Minor is dependent on adults. And if there are no adults that they could truly depend on without getting hurt – it is Not the minor’s fault.

Adult shifting blame on the minor will be always and forever Wrong. Even if the minor did something awful . Even if it was the minor who started something. 

The simple reason why it is not the minor’s fault they got hurt by the adult: 

Adults must give more than they take. Minors must take more than they give. If minor messes up , adult is someone who gives more - benefit of the doubt, understanding, chance etc. If adult messes up - minor is someone who can accept more than they give - apology, right to cut off or to express their upsetness.

This dynamic is the only way (that i know of) that can keep the balance.

-

note: I dont mean that adults are better than minors.  By “more power” I mean, adults have more things that they may use against minor, they can shift imbalance of power in their favor easily.

==

If you are a minor and you get attracted to adults, it is okay to feel that thing, but it is wrong to act out on that feeling - do not follow that feeling and do not get with the adult.  feeling those things doesn’t make you a monster though.

 A minor’s attraction toward adults can happen because they are still figuring out their emotions. It is not okay for an adult to take advantage of that.

If you are a minor and you have a crush on an adult, it is completely normal. -You just need some time to get over that phase, and you Will get over 

it. It is okay to feel the feelings you have, but if an adult tries to get something out of it, they are wrong and you need to cut them off. You have the right to have the feelings you experience and adults dont have the rights to take advantage of your feelings.

[scarletspider-lily]

like my parents are homophobic and transphobic (i dont know if ill ever come out to them to be honest) and i wonder how much of that is the fundamentalist christianity and how much of that is like. more conservative asian culture yk? sorry how rambly this got btw i dont know a lot of ppl irl who i'd be able to discuss this w/. i hope it doesn't come across as aggressive or ill-intentioned or anything!!

I think about this a lot too, and also tysm for this ask you're my first ask ever ily and i hope youre staying safe and well to the best of your ability!

I wonder this so much too, it's slightly confusing to think about. i dont have any hard answers because i am not an expert on cultures (if someone looks more into this stuff, i would appreciate your input in replies) but part of me wonders how things came to be, like i know christianity has been passed down for at least 2 generations in my family, so i wonder if the part of asian culture that values conformity and holding to tradition kept that alive more than anything else. not to mention the value of family, expectations of conformity for safety, and the fear of hell, combining to make a disastrous "I GOTTA PRAY AND GO TO CHURCH AND CONVERT MY FAMILY OR THEY'RE ALL GOING TO HELL" mentality...

i think modern day christianity can be big in some asian cultures (colonization aside) due to the conservative aspects. in fact, i think many asian families are affected by conservative christian rhetoric even if they aren't christian themselves, because of the influence of evangelism on the world. western conservative ideals and evangelical christianity do have a MASSIVE overlap, so thats one thing. i personally think its a mix of both conservative ideals and extreme religion, more of a big circle than a venn diagram. i feel like extreme christianity is something many asian families would find appealing for this reason, so its sort of a "did the chicken come first, or the egg?" situation- i think conservative values may have hit certain asian cultures first, and colonization also may have impacted this (depending on the asian culture, obviously. India had a change in modesty with clothes post colonization for example), and christianity was appealing after that sort of cultural shift and still is because many asian countries remain conservative in certain facets of their ideology and culture, and evangelical christianity is simply a functioning vessel for that. tldr, evangelical christianity can be used to justify conservative ideals in asian households, adding to the appeal of the religion as it also promises safety and comfort.

[prettyboykatsuki]

calls home | k. bakugou

★ tags ;; gn!reader, pure fluff, established relationships, reader is a support items enginerr.

★ wc ;; 1.3k.

★ synopsis ;; katsuki hates nosy interviews, but maybe coming clean about his love life will get these people off his back.

★ a/n ;; not a very novel concept but i wanted to give it a go lmao

"We're rolling!"

Katsuki as the director behind the camera gives him a thumbs up. The camera light flashes red. He really loathes the entire filming process. All forms of public promotion, actually. But he promised his manager he would turn up and do his best for this interview.

He sighs, looking into the camera with a bored expression.

"Uh. Hi. I'm Bakugou Katsuki. Pro-Hero: Dynamight. I'm here with Heroe's Weekly to do a QnA."

He can hear in his voice how much he doesn't want to be there but doesn't bother to change his face. Off-camera, the crew are snickering. He knows a handful of them, friends of friends. He shoots a glare their way. The director gives him a pleasant look.

"Aw, don't be like that. Your fans have been asking for this forever."

Katsuki snorts, arms pulled over his chest.

"You think I don't know that? Fuckin' everyday on my twitter. You shitheads are so nosy."

"Calling your fans shitheads...your brand is one of a kind."

"Yeah, yeah. I don't get why they all care but whatever. Made a promise so I'm here."

The director laughs.

"Right. So, are you ready for the questions?"

"As I'll ever be."

The interview questions start off as he expects. He really does hate doing them, quick and formulaic responses for most of the basic ones. He's gotten them so many times in his life they don't even really feel like real questions. It's all information that's found easily through some google searching.

Age? 20 something. Star-sign? Who the fuck knows, but he thinks aries. Favorite food? Whatever's spiciest. Why'd you become a hero? Because he wanted to be the best. Who's your favorite hero? Still Allmight.

After the initial round of questions comes the deeper ones. He has to admit they're more well-thought-out than he's used to. With time, he finds ease in talking about the prompts.

What sets you apart from other heroes? Field experience, he thinks. Knowing the position of the victim and the victor young, all thanks to his fucked up teen years. What was your childhood like? Better than most, but god he was such a dick. Is there any advice that you think young heroes should hear, even if they typically don't? Valuing your life is valuing the lives of others, no matter what anyone says.

After the serious questions die down, the director gives him a smug expression. All softened up by the obvious thought that went behind it, her grin is amused.

"...Your viewers wanted to ask some more.. personal question

Katsuki raises an eyebrow.

"Gave me all the good questions upfront to curb my mood, huh? Cheeky fuckers."

"Permission to ask?"

He barks a laugh.

"You can ask whatever the hell you want but I don't know if I'll answer."

"Well, everyone is most curious about your love life."

Katsuki scoffs.

"Not this bullshit again."

"Oh, c'mon! You got voted sexiest hero of the year, of course the people want to know." The director insists, probing him "You can't give even a hint?"

He sighs.

"Give me a second."

Pulling out his phone from his pants, he unlocks it and opens up his text messages. He can practically hear everyone holding their breath but chooses to ignore it.

(sent 2:46pm) they're asking about you. fucking annoying

from baby 💌 (sent 2:46) you already know i don't mind. it might get them to leave u alone.

(sent 2:47) yeah i guess. love you. rest up and ill see you later

from baby 💌 (sent 2:47) love u too kat. see u at home. pick up some food on the way pls i dont wanna make lunch.

He grins at his phone a little, completely lost to the fact he's still with a bunch of annoying people. All of a sudden he wants to go home, clicking his phone.

"Who's got you smiling at your phone like that?"

"My fiancée."

Immediately the studio erupts into chatter. He gives them an unimpressed look, clicking his teeth. Is it really such a huge deal?

"You'd think I just dropped a fucking bomb in here."

"Fiancée?! Is this the first time you're talking about it?"

He nods once.

"Yeah."

"Can you spare us some details?"

"Like what?"

"How you met, what they're like, how you fell in love! The more the better."

He clicks his teeth. This is tiresome, but he relents. Crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes flick up to the ceiling.

"I don't know how to fucking answer any of that. We met on the job, though."

"But we're dying to know!"

"Isn't it fuckin' enough that I said something? What else do you need to know?"

"Are they pretty?" Someone on the crew shouts. Katsuki smirks.

"Better looking than every person in here, yeah."

A bunch of oohs and aahs chorus from around him. He wants this to be over and done with more than anything, but it feels like he can't back out now.

"Well if you can't answer them, maybe it's worth having them answer."

"Are you fucking serious? You want me to call them right now? No fucking way."

"A journalist is never above begging Dynamight. Plus now the whole set wants to know of this mystery person.

"God you people are so persistent." He spits, agitated. He looks directly in the camera "Let me make it very clear. Put this in your final cut. After this, I'm never talking about this shit again. If you ask, I'm kicking your ass."

Katsuki reaches into his pocket for his phone again, fingers hesitating to open it. He does with a deep sigh, tapping your contact in his call list. It rings twice before you answer. He puts you on speaker.

"Hi baby," Your voice is melodic and sweet. Katsuki can't help his smile "Is your interview over?"

The director mouths the word baby in shock and Katsuki gives her a glare.

"No, we're in the middle of it right now. They were asking me annoying questions and I didn't feel like answering them so they told me to call you."

"Oh? So they wanted me to answer, instead?"

"Yeah. Just about how we met and shit. That okay?"

"If it's okay with you I don't mind. What are the questions?"

Katsuki feels a flush crawl up his face.

"Uh. How we fell in love or whatever."

"Oh, how romantic." Your voice is pleasant. Katuski holds the speaker closer to his mic. "Well. Hi everyone. I'm Y/N and I'm Katsuki's fiancée. We met on the job, I'm a support items engineer and I worked on the major mechanisms for his suit."

Katsuki smiles a little at his phone, pleased. The crew greets you and you giggle on the other side of the line.

"We met in a business context first and became friends later. I used to think he was a scary guy but he's really not at all," You pause between sentences. Katsuki feels his stomach flip, smile widening "Mm... falling in love? It wasn't very grand. I think some time in-between I thought that he was a person I'd like to be with. Kinda boring right?"

"It's not boring." He insists. You giggle.

"I'm glad you don't think so. Anyway, it's not a very romantic story. I think if anyone got to know him like I did, they'd also fall in love."

A bunch of aww's sound. Katsuki flushes.

"You're an idiot." He spits. You laugh.

"He's prickly but he's a good person. I hope people are willing to look past him a little and see that."

Katsuki feels his heart give in, emotions rampant.

"You're too sappy for your own good." He says, no malice in his voice.

"Uh-huh. I love you too. Was that good enough?"

"You did good. I'll see you at home."

"See you at home, Kat. Bye everyone!"

Everyone sounds off on a bye and Katsuki hesitates as he clicks the phone off. He rubs the back of his neck, feeling awkward.

"That good enough for you?"

The director shoots him a grin.

"Perfect."

[hoodhookage]

Congrats on 200+!!!! Ive only just seen your page and i am instantly in love with your writing 😢😢🙏 feel free to ignore this but could you do a scenario about xiao giving is super shy fem s/o oral for the first time. Just some fluffy reassurance is all that we need. If you dont feel comfortable tho i completely understand. Hope you have a fantastic rest of your day 🤗🤗

thank you so much💗 I COULD NEVER PASS UP THIS SORT OF OPPORTUNITY! i’m so grateful you wanted me to even attempt to try this out for you<3 i hope it’s not too long & that i met your expectations!! here’s xiao eating out his so for the first time

xiao let’s his fingers run through your hair, gentle eyes focused on you as you lay beside him fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. you close your eyes when he lifts his hand now to your jaw, stroking your cheek. his touch is soft, instinctively allowing yourself to melt into his caress. xiao is many things; he’s everything you want him to be. he’s willing to make you happy and comfortable, going far lengths to achieve it.

he’s understanding and caring, in the sense that he’s always keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re never in any sort of discomfort. xiao is loving. physical or not, you always feel so appreciated by him. he does little things to make you happy, you remember how he likes to squeeze your thumb with his when you hold his hand. you both have come so far with one another, growing with every passing day.

xiao loves you in every way imaginable, getting frustrated with himself when he can’t truly show you what you mean to him when his words alone fail him. he wants you to be happy, to tell you he values your company, just being able to be with you. he appreciates you and wants to be able to take care of you the way you do for him, feeling as if he’s entirely at your mercy for the way you’ve patched that sense of longing he once felt on his own. all of that now washed away completely when you’ve brought yourself into the picture.

his presence alone makes you feel so jittery, no matter how serene or still the atmosphere may be. he’s gentle, and warm…so warm you sometimes feel as if you’re burning up at his touch, no matter how light it is. you find yourself drawn quiet even while with xiao next to you, letting your mind entertain frivolous possibilities revolving the both of you. what he makes you feel is a mix of apprehensiveness and exhilaration, just with his face leaning in to your forehead close to place a kiss.

the faint breeze from the window lingers inside and you welcome it with a deep inhale, letting it bring you back to your place between xiao and his bed. your exhale quickly allows itself to take over you, shuddering in reaction to the coolness continuously hitting your skin all over. xiao rests his lips against your forehead, another small and delicate show of affection. “you’re getting cold” responding with a sigh to how he acknowledges your change in body temperature before turning over to face him and let your chest rest against his.

even the air xiao expires so softly across you from the closeness of the both of you is warm. his chest is warm, the arms that keep you close are warm, he’s already letting you get lost in this feeling of heat he provides you with. “xiao” your face is in his shoulder when you call him, snuggling closer. he whispers your name back and begins to hold you closer “what is it?”

you try to conceal the small shake in your voice. “you make me feel really, really, warm when we’re like this”

you mumble, already wanting to hide the show of emotions he makes you feel inside so unexpectedly just from the call of your name. you breathe in, smelling xiao and his clothes as one together. “are you saying that like it’s a good thing?” he rubs delicate circles on your back, holding you with care. you nod and push your face closer into his chest almost like a final attempt to breathe him in again, he overwhelms your physical senses this way.

he pulls you back, a stern look on his face as you look up at him. “you’re nearly freezing” xiao rolls his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips as he brings his hand to your jaw to give you a small kiss. he breaks it but stays just inches away from your lips, giving you a teasing remark when you just stare at his mouth. xiao does a lot of things to you…and right now, whatever it is he’s doing to you to make you feel like this, it has you hot all over again:

this burning sensation reaching all the way into your chest and stomach, impossible to avoid. he takes you close and into another kiss as you pout, this time longer than the first. you close your eyes and let him take charge, your cheeks beginning to feel that same sensation that spread through your body when he slowly slides his tongue inside. you cup his face, gasping when he gives you a playful bite to your bottom lip before tugging on it.

“i can’t stand it when you lie to me, here” he begins to remove his arms from the sleeves and slides his hoodie off from above, his shirt getting caught with it momentarily. it’s hard to look away when you can see the bare skin of his abdomen, making you grow a little desperate for his touch. xiao motions for you to lift your arms up and you do as he asks, putting your head through to now properly wear it.

you turn your head to the side and look down at your hands, “thanks” all of these different kinds of warmths feel good when they’re from xiao. you start to wonder if he’s ever experienced this same kind of feeling. you both have that look in your eyes that tells the other you want more, stuck as if there’s no possible way to convey it aloud. all those thoughts leave your mind as soon as he pulls you in for another kiss.

you tremble into his mouth when his hand rests at your hip, giving an experimental grab as you pant and try to kiss him back just as needfully. “xiao, i think what i meant to say, from before. it was just-“ you interrupt the silence but he shushes you. “you’re alright,” he gives you a tiny kiss at your bottom lip. you think you understand now, “…you want me to take care of you, i can do that for you” stopping between sentences to give you more, this time across your face and jaw. “-but will you let me?”

he does experience that same feeling, your heart is beating twice as fast. “please”

xiao treats you with the same amount of gentleness as always, starting by taking a pillow from under his head and propping it beneath your lower back. he looks at you, “i want to try something for you- and i as well” his hand moving to lace yours. “i’ll always ask this of you, do you trust me?” you nod and let out a shaky yes. he begins after hearing your approval “alright, show me exactly where you want me the most”

you feel your body quiver as he trails his hand across your stomach, your fingers guiding his palm. you feel embarrassed when you have to stop, recollecting yourself as he looks at you. “you pleaded for me to take good care of you. i promise i want nothing more than to be able to” he reassures you. you continue until you reach your abdomen, xiao’s hand slides down a little further on his own now. “good” he sighs, getting worked up himself.

“ remove this for me” he murmurs referring to your clothes, tone still sweet when speaking with you. you start with the bottoms, pulling them down off your legs. you keep your panties on, knowing xiao will be happy to do the honours of stripping those off you himself. you hold onto the hoodie “xiao, i want to keep this on” you whisper. he would never deny you anything, but hearing you ask to keep something of his on during a moment like this has his chest swell with pride.

xiao’s hand rests at the hem of your panties, letting his middle and ring finger stretch out just a little further onto the material that starts to dampen the farther you reach. “to think you would want to let me leave you in this state” he almost whispers to himself. he lets his hand dip into your underwear, his fingers immediately met with how wet you’ve become. “your body knows exactly who it’s with right now and i can already tell” he marvels in the little to no friction his finger tips experience as he slides hands over your cunt.

“close your eyes, just let me” he strokes your hair again as he lets his finger trail around your entrance. you gasp at the feeling but it’s slow, allowing you to await and prepare for the feeling of when he enters. the push is perfect, your soaking cunt pulls his finger in with no resistance. he praises you again for how you take it, letting you relax under his touch once more. xiao pulls his finger out back to your entrance, rubbing at your clit with two of them. the contact making you squirm as he lifts his hand.

he brings his finger up to both of you before opening his mouth to clean it off. he can’t help himself when it comes to you, always wanting a little more. you feel yourself pool even harder between your legs at his action. he holds his finger out to you, “would you want to try yourself?” opening your mouth to meet him. you can still taste yourself on that finger, it’s tarte even after xiao had licked most of it off.

“do you still want to follow through with what i had in mind this time for us” he rasps. he’s only ever fingered you, and the thought of letting him try whatever it is he wanted to right now makes you feel weak. your knees instinctively press together as he waits for your answer, “you want to go…further?” your voice is unsure but still with excitement in your tone. he wants to go as far as you’ll let him, indulge you in whatever it is you want from him right now. but he has to start slow, somewhere. it’s progress.

he wants to ask again to reassure you but you’re past that, kissing him as you’re caught in a tiny adrenaline run he’s been unaware he was fuelling this whole time. all this time he’s been feeding into the fire, but this was a tiny bit of gasoline, and it’s beginning to spread. you know it’ll wear down once he begins again but you want to ride it out as long as possible.

he’s always happy when you are, but now was your turn to embarrass xiao, catching him off guard. “can we?” you try to sit up but he keeps you in place, laying you down. “as long as you want this as much as i do” he gets up from beside you, knees against yours as he holds your thighs. his hands look so much bigger from where he’s moved now, you give him another nod and he holds your panties to finally remove them.

you’re back in your original place; being naked from the bottom down right infront of xiao makes you feel unnerved. you let him slowly spread your legs as he continues to hold eye contact with you to keep you calm. he looks more enamoured by your cunt now than ever, situating himself so that his face is right above your clit, arms weighted on your thighs.

his hands come to lock yours on your sides as his you feel his hot breath, making you clench on the air. “relax, close your eyes if you need to, but i’m right here…exactly where you need me” you let your eyes close before your lips part at the feeling of xiao’s tongue swipe across you. it makes you shiver, his tongue feels long and warm, almost a bit pointy. wet like the rest of his mouth, you’re already gasping again at the feeling.

you bring your head up to look at him, xiao has his tongue running along your folds ever so slowly, eyes never leaving yours. you let the back of your head hit the pillows again as you let out a cry, his tongue is hot when it circles around your entrance. you pull the hoodie up on you in an attempt to hold your thoughts together, only to breathe in and be reminded of who’s conquering every piece of your mind, xiao. you grip his hands a little tighter while you buck into his mouth.

allowing yourself to succumb to him has you thrashing when he sucks on your clit. how he prods his tongue towards your hole to make you squirm. xiao is slowly beginning to devour you; lapping, licking, sucking, darting his tongue onto you. he lets go of one of your hands and lets a finger slide in, “i know what your body can handle, and right now it’s beginning to ask for more. i promise to only give what i know you can take” focusing his concentration and movements back on your clit.

cries and whimpers of his name fill and go beyond his room, letting yourself continue to get lost in the pleasure xiao is bringing you so intensely. the curling of his finger now turning into pumping, his mouth never leaving your messy cunt. “good, it’s really good xiao” you whine, gripping his hair as he moans into you. “i cant-“ you thrash at the feeling of him pull at your clit. “you’re perfect like this right now, finally experiencing the sort of pleasure you always bring me” he leans back down, rocking you against his mouth.

every single shock he manages to send through you has you enjoying it more than the last. it feels good, how he constantly lets you know he’ll give you what’s good for you within your limits. you feel your body course with the kind of build up that has you struggling to stay still, the kind xiao knows how to give you regularly just in other ways. this one is far more intense than the last.

you let out a broken moan of his name, trying to find the words to tell him. you properly call out his name and he looks up at you, both his hair and mouth messy from how you held onto him. “i’m going to cum” you squeak, feeling his fingers rub your gspot. your body cant hang on any longer, as if you’re on the edge. “cum for me, right here against me. i’ve got you” you shake your head furiously.

your back arches off the bed and against xiao, whos still giving you every kind of sensation imaginable and all at once. he feels you squeeze his fingers, convulsing against his mouth.

your back hits the bed as your legs still shake around his head, in complete shock at what he was able to bring you. he can feel you still pulse against his mouth and he slowly pulls off. you both stay still as he lets you calm down. he stares at you in awe, panting from his actions.

he moves back to his side on the bed and embraces you, feeling your body go limp against his. his chin rests on the top of your head as he pulls you into the covers properly. you let his forehead lean onto yours as you move away and cup his cheek, catching xiao shyly turn his gaze away.

you’re right. xiao loves you in every way imaginable, willing to go far lengths to prove it.

frustrated when even he himself has trouble to explain how he feels in just words.

a feeling that he can only describe as gentle and warm…warm enough to feel as if he’s burning up at your touch. no matter how light.

just like he does to you.

[actualbird]

Hi, I'm the anon who asked about the new Looming Nightmare card! I saw the content warnings, and I was like, oh it's this kind of story.

While I like my share of whump, I think I'll skip the card since it doesn't really tie into much of their actual relationship from the looks of it, but if you're willing to give a rundown of the story, I do enjoy reading your analyses. If you wouldn't mind, of course.

Thanks!

hi anon!! and....yep.....Looming Nightmare is.....That Kind Of Story JHVSKJHF

and same same, i LOVE whump but this card is just really....

well, i'll answer ur question with a more detailed summary of what happens in the card as well as some of my thoughts below the read more!!

do not proceed if u dont wanna be spoiled!! for general content warnings of the card, check out this previous ask i answered

now...

this summary will be a bit rudimentary and might leave out some tinier details since i watched the card like, almost an entire year ago. but heres what happens

the story starts in a fantasy setting au kinda thing and luke talks to some travelers in the woods. he's looking for mc, his lover, who had gone missing

luke and mc grew up together and started a relationship eventually, but then luke was conscripted into the army as a knight for a few years. during this period, mc sent him many letters but he was not allowed to reply. before he left, he promised mc he'd come back the moment he could, but when he did come back, she was no longer at their home

luke learns from the travelers that theres this big terrible dragon somewhere just destroying villages and kidnapping young women (? i think?? again, not very sure about the details) and luke thinks this dragon had taken mc from their home

so he journeys to the castle where the dragon is currently residing at and then takes shelter first at a nearby cottage. there, he meets a faceless NPC fortune teller and it's revealed hes met her once, before he started his journey looking for mc. back then, the fortune-teller told luke that the price of his journey could be Everything he is, or something along those lines. in spite of that, he still went

now, the fortune-teller tells him that the dragon will be weakened during the solar eclipse which will happen soon. at that moment, it will be the best time to kill the dragon. she also mentions that the dragon has this treasure box of stuff in that castle and thats the thing the dragon values most

anyhoo, luke goes to the dragon and---after a long and dangerous battle where he himself got injured a whole lot, im p sure at some point he was sure he was gonna die but he kept on going for mc---he landed a fatal blow on it. he then goes to the castle, searching for mc

and there he finds nobody at all but he does find the treasure chest and inside, he finds a mirror. in the mirror, he sees mc and her life after he left. due to the fact that luke could not reply to any of her letters, she thought he had died and left her village to go look for him and she grew more and more hopeless as the years went by. the mirror then shows mc picking up the mirror itself, crying, and when her tears hit the mirror, she was transformed into the dragon

the dragon that luke just killed

luke rushes out of the castle and the dragon had transformed back into mc. and shes quite dead, sporting the same wounds luke had inflicted on the dragon earlier

and just when ya thought it couldnt get worse!!!

the fortune-teller from earlier returns and tells luke that she can revive mc, but the price is his own life AND all of mc's memories of him. she will live but never even know he existed

luke, of course, takes this deal. and then he kills himself

and then over these two dead bodies, the fortune-teller reveals herself to be a witch! and doesnt revive either of them

THE END

BUT WAIT

it was all just a dream

mc wakes up and shes back in the canon setting, shes in luke's place and she had fallen asleep and had that Entire Terrible Nightmare. luke asks her if she had a nightmare, and she says yes, so he sings to her to comfort her

THE END (REPRISE)

so! thats what happens in looming nightmare generally!! of course, theres a whole bunch of other details i probably missed/forgot, but yeah

and as to why i didnt rlly enjoy it....

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER THAT EVERYTHING FROM HERE ON OUT IS MY OWN OPINIONS

see, the first time i watched it i actually thought it was okay. like, it fucking ripped my heart out yeah, but it was an Okay Story. but then the longer i let the story sit in my brain i realized that....no actually the entire story is hinged only upon misery that doesnt serve a narrative purpose.

like, i LOVE whump!! i LOVE stories where luke goes through hell, but not solely because hes going through hell. i love it cuz the conflict, hardship, and pain either adds something to his character, adds to the dynamic hes got with characters around him, lets us know something new about him or others, or maybe the hurt leads to comfort and then that comfort lets us learn more about the luke's vulnerability, emotions etc etc.

basically, i love (and to a certain degree, expect) angst in a story to actually serve a purpose. i want the Hurt to actually do something other than just Hurt. cuz if it just hurts, im like.....what was the point?

this is especially pronounced in this story cuz the story isnt even "real". it was all a dream, a dream that mc didnt even get to discuss with luke. i would have been extremely interested and wouldve had a better view of this card if it involved a scene where mc talks about her nightmare. that discussion could tackle so much: mc's intuitive knowledge that luke would go too far if it meant she would be safe, mc's own abandonment issues surfacing in the nightmare's plot, etc

but...that didnt happen. what we did get was luke singing which, i'll admit, is adorable

but adorable isnt enough to save a story that didnt rlly have a point jahvfjkahsvfkjashfa

[iwadori]

Why you break up with the haikyu boys part 2 (Osamu, Iwaizumi, Daichi, Ushijima.)

Part 1 (Atsumu, Oikawa, Kageyama, Kenma, Akaashi, Sugawara)

Genre: angst

masterlist

Osamu: “For fuck sake Y/N, don’t deny it I know that you...”

You and Osamu were basically arranged to be together, you were best friends from when you were little and your parents thought you were a match made in heaven.

Did you love Osamu? Of course, you pretty much worshipped the ground he walked on.

But there was always a strange look he gave you whenever he mentioned his brother. You never really focused on it, but that was something you took note of.

When you came back home, after a long day of work. You see Osamu sitting in the kitchen alone, with some paper in front of him and a drink in his hand.

“‘Samu Babe!” You exclaim sauntering over to him “How are yo-“

“Don’t.” He said simply, taking a sipping some of his drink (to which you could only assume was some form of hard liquor.)

“Why ‘Samu, what’s wro-“

“You bought tickets to his game.”

“Who’s game?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Y/N, you bought tickets to my idiot of a brothers game in an attempt to slut around under my nose..”

“Samu, that’s not what it was I-“

“I don’t want to hear it Y/N!” He yelled slamming his drink down making you flinch.

“Gosh Samu whats wrong with you. I know that I had a teeny crush on Atsumu when we were kids but it was just a childhood crush. An innocent childhood crush.”

“For fuck sake Y/N, don’t deny it I know yo-“

“You know what? That I’ve spent majority of my life, trying to ease your own insecurities and jealousy of your own goddamn brother. How childish can you be Osamu ?”

Osamu eyes opened a bit in realisation, and his lips slightly parted. “But Y/N, you-“

“I what? Brought us tickets to your TWIN brothers final volleyball game, because I wanted him to see the support from his family and friends.”

“I’m sorry Y/N I really a-“

“Don’t.” you say picking up the tickets and turning around “I just thought maybe, just maybe for at least a day you could put your weird feelings towards your brother aside... but I guess you can’t.”

You left the apartment, and got your stuff another day (one where you knew Osamu was at work.)

No you did not end up dating Atsumu, you were most certainly friends and only friends. You did end up going to the game on your own, to cheer on Atsumu who most definitely appreciated it.

You thought you saw a certain Miya twins sitting in the stands at of the game, hiding his face with a baseball cap. Which made you smile a bit...

Well at least he ended up coming to the game.

Iwaizumi: “I just don’t want you Y/N, I never did”

In your second year of Seijoh Highschool, you were approached by a rough looking boy who had a ‘resting bitch face,’ and looked like they were coming to pick a fight with you.

But no, it was just “Iwaizumi Hajime.”

He was very popular throughout your school, as he was vice captain of the schools volleyball team and he was Oikawa Toorus best friend.

So when he approached you that Friday afternoon at your locker, you definitely didn’t know why.

“Y/N..” he said nervously scratching the back of his neck “umm this is for you..”

In his hands was a bar of chocolate and a scrunched up note that read

AN: DID I WRITE THAT NOTE MYSELF, yes yes I did anyways...

You were very surprised at this sudden confession as you and Iwaizumi weren’t in the same social circles and you were definitely not the type of girl that would be on his ‘radar.’

You had a quite unsettling feeling, which made you subconsciously squint your eyes at him. But they soon soften as you saw the nervousness that Iwaizumi was showcasing to you as you were contemplating on you answer.

You got out a pen, shaking the unsettling feeling you had out of your head. And ticked the box “Yes” giving it back to Iwaizumi.

He smiled widely and rushed towards you in an attempts in giving you a hug which went awkwardly wrong leaving you both laughing.

Dating Hajime, wasn’t bad nor good... it’s just what you wouldn’t expect it to be.

There wasn’t much of a change to what your usual school routine was which consisted of: going to lessons and spending break and lunch on your own reading a book.

And technically you were still doing that, but you were now just always with Hajime. Wether it was at lunch or at practice (which he always insisted you go to, also hinting that he would like for you to bring him bentos to practice.) which you did end up doing.

One day, whilst doing your daily “bento delivery,” to your boyfriend, you overhear him talking to his friends; Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

“God I can’t stand her, always running behind me like a lost puppy giving me bentos that I didn’t even fucking as for” he complained, making you gasp.

“Really?” Exclaimed Hanamaki “I know you said she confessed to you one time, but I didn’t know it was that bad?”

“Yeah she’s a stalking bitch, it’s getting annoying.”

“Gosh it’s seems someones getting a taste of the ‘Oikawa Experience’” Matsun said making them all laugh.

You entered the room, furious. “What the fuck Hajime?”

“Woah woah woah, it’s seems your stalkers about iwa, we’ll leave you too it” said Hanamaki, with Matsun following behind him as they leave.

“What do they mean I’m a stalker?”

“Well aren’t you?” He responded with a smirk

“Gosh y/n you’ve been following me about for a while now, dont you think it’s time to stop”

“Bu-But you confessed, with your note and w-“

“Are you sure about that Y/N, cause I don’t really recall ...?”

“Hajime don’t lie, we were dating.. we ARE DATING.”

“Okay Y/N let me fill you in on a little secret,” he said leaning down next to your ear “I don’t want you Y/N, I never did.”

“ but why m-“

“Why you? Because nobody knows Y/N L/N and nobody cares, I can tarnish your name and nobody will give a shit.. and that’s why your an easy target” he said still smiling “ I just wanted to rub it into Shittykawas face that I had my own little “fan club”

You were stunned, frozen in shock as Iwaizumi walks past you to leave the gym, making sure to grab the bento you made him.

“Thanks again for the help, I’m definitely going to miss these bentos!”

You should have listened to your gut feeling from before.

Daichi: “you’re just not marriage material”

Daichi was “the perfect guy,” he was nice to strangers and was helpful to the community and just an all round great guy.

So it was a massive question as to why he went for you, since you were definitely not the girl for Daichi.

“I don’t care what anyone says, your the perfect girl for me” was what he always said.

Even though those statements went out the window whenever his mother got involved.

Daichi’s mum was a strict traditional woman, who believed in family values that went back thousands of years ago.

And she most certainly didn’t like you.

She wanted you to be Daichi’s doting wife, who cooked and cleaned for him. Whilst he works and was the breadwinner of the house.

Although you found no problem with the women that did do this, but this was not for you.

When it comes to meet ups with you, Daichi and his mother. He never told her to stop when it came to the rude comments she made about you, or the times she suggested Daichi go for a more “prim and proper” girl named “Misaki Ayuzawa.”

After the meetings, when his mother was gone, he always tried to reassure that she was wrong and her words didn’t matter.

But you knew they did, that daichi was actually considering some of the things she said about you wether they were true or not.

The tension in your household was strong, since you barely talked to each other anymore. But you had hope for better things...

Until one day, you get a message from Daichi’s mother saying. “It seems Daichi made the right choice, as we all know ‘Mother Knows best.’” With a video attached of Daichi proposing to the one and only “Mikasa Ayuzawa” surrounded by all their high class business friends.

When Daichi got home he yelled, “Y/N, where are you I was at this business party at this fancy restaurant and I got some nice things for you to try!”

“Business party?” You say rolling your eyes “Or Engagement party.”

The shocked look on his face made you smile, as you both knew now that he was caught.

“Fuck you daichi! Why would you do this without even tell me !” You yelled, tearing up a bit.

“Y/N, it wasn’t meant to go down like that it was just I was talking to my mu-“

“Fuck your mum! And you!”

“I’m sorry Y/N you’re just not marriage material an-“

“I don’t care what you’ve got to say, you’ve done it and it’s over with”you said leaving.

“I’ll come back to get my stuff later,” you say “oh and congratulations on the engagement Sawamura-San”

After you said that, Daichi’s heart broke.

He did end up marrying her, and he regretted every day of it. Since she was great and all, but she just wasn’t you...

But he knows now you’re long gone, definitely not going to forgive him for marrying another girl whilst being with him.

Ushijima : stop being so emotional

You and Ushijima were very much opposite In every aspect, and at first it wasn’t really a problem.

Especially since you always excused it as “opposite attracts.”

But recently all you and Ushijima do is argue, left and right always arguing.

You complained about Ushijimas lack of emotion when it came to you, you don’t think he cared about you or about anything.

Whenever you brought up something that was wrong he would reply with “Y/N this is something you need to be acting all upset about.”

And that would definitely upset you even more, you just wanted him to notice you or shout “Y/N I care about you and I love you.”

But Of course he didn’t.

One night he came back late (again) after promising to be home early to have a meal together.

“What’s taken you so long Ushi?” You asked

“I was at practice. I told you this.” He said simply, remaining as stoic as ever.

“But you said- you promised that we can have dinner together.” You said

“ oh well I’m sorry. We can have dinner now if you like.”

“I’m not hungry anymore” you mumbled past him, going to your bedroom.

“Y/N, what’s your problem” he said following after you.

“It’s nothing...”you said tears filling your eyes.

“Okay I’m going to go eat now.” He said leaving you alone in the room going to the kitchen, making you sigh.

After you calm yourself and collect your faults, you go into the kitchen where Ushijima is at the table eating.

“Ushijima, we need to talk.” You said taking a deep breath.

“Okay.”

“We should break up.”

“Okay.”

“Is that all you have to say?” You say tearing up again.

“Yes, I’ve been thinking that for a while now.” He said bluntly “since Y/N, you’re just too emotional.”

“Oh I see.” You say now full on crying.

Ushijima looks up to see you all teared-eye, and he is kind of suprised because ‘why were you upset.’ He got up and tried to console you, but you flinched away and said “Don’t, just don’t Ushijima.”

“I’m sorry Y/N...”

“Why are you sorry? Do you even know what you’re apologising for?”

“No.”

“Well then, just seems to prove my point further...” you go to leave before saying “thanks for the wonderful time... I guess we just weren’t meant to be.”

AN: can someone appreciate what I did with Iwaizumis....no? Okay 😃 I feel this one way way more angsty then part one but oh well. What did you think.

General taglist[bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi @iimoonii @hamdehlesmis @Shoyosupremacy @meadowsinjapan @iambashfulperson @kayleighbeccaa @dearkousei @bakugouswh0r3

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[feral-ella-flynn]

Paying the Toll, pt 2: M Troll x F Human, SFW (for now)

Part 1

Male Troll + Female Human

still SFW (so far)

2.5K/6.5K word draft

tagging @feralprose @monster-bait @apocalypticromantic666 @pre-schoolervengance @bresilienne-ami @soivebuiltupaworldofmagic @dont-call-me-a-faerie @kirmalight (comment to be tagged in updates!)

I bet no one expected this to be updated! Including me! This installment is definitely not as long as I intended, because I got really hung up on details--that’s why I’m posting anyway, to get some momentum so that hopefully the third part will be both longer and not so tardy. 

Escaping a goblin raid on your village leads you to a bridge, but you have nothing to offer the troll who guards it for a toll...except yourself

You wake in darkness.  At first you aren't sure you're awake at all--it's only by touching your own eyelids that you can feel sure they're open. It seems to make no difference between the thick, pressing dark around you either way.

“Mattie?” you whisper, your voice thin and hoarse. 

There’s no answer, and understanding comes crashing down on you, like floodwater overwhelming a dam. You are not in your cramped room under the eaves of the big house, Mathilde is not sleeping on the narrow bed an armspan away–if she’s lucky, perhaps she was able to hide in the cellars or the attics, somewhere that was safe enough until the goblin raiders felt they had run out of things to raze and ravish and moved on. Or perhaps help would come, from the regiment billeted outside the market town, or from rangers who might have been near enought to see the smoke. If Mattie was unlucky….

A sob catches in your dry throat, then turns to choking dry heaves that leave you shuddering. Bile burns on your tongue. You huddle into the nest of furs, remembering now where you are and how you came to be here, naked and alone in the pitch black.

Not alone. There is the hush of leather brushing against stone, a faint musky scent. 

“Brúsi?”

“Aye.” The troll’s gravel-rough voice is low and close–you almost reach out, ready to blunder once again into his arms rather than be alone with your fears.

The scrape of flint is loud enough in the silence to make you jump. Sparks illuminate the troll, kneeling at your side, and as he coaxes the tinder to unfurl into flame you hastily wrap a fur around your bare flesh. Whatever mood made you so bold before has been banished by your nightmares.

“Is it morning?”

The troll shrugs. “Near enough.”

“Shall I–shall I make breakfast for you?” Your fingers knead anxiously in the soft nap of the pelt that you clutch closed over your chest. “What do you like for breakfast?”

The troll–Brúsi–glances at you, his head tilted in the way that is already familiar. You think it means he’s just as bewildered by your contract, and by you, as you are yourself.

“Dried goat,” he says. “Morning meal, evening meal. Unless there is a new goat.”

“Oh. Where do the goats come from?”

He shrugs. “The bridge provides.”

Well. You take a deep breath, pushing the fear and panic of the last day, of the dark dreams, down into a tight ball at the bottom of your stomach, where you can ignore it for a little while. “Does the bridge ever provide eggs?”

And so you begin your month as housekeeper to a troll. 

Your clothes are badly stained, and chilly from being spread out on the stone floor, but they're dry and you dress in them anyway, trying to ignore the scrutiny of Brúsi’s dark blue eyes as he watches you. He seems fascinated by the layers as you lace your stays over your shift, tie the strings of your petticoat, and your cheeks burn with a blush as you finally button your gown. You do your best with the tangles in your hair--letting it hide your face until your heart stops thumping in your ears before you twist it into a hasty braid. 

There are no eggs. But you take a lantern the troll indicates and follow him into another cave that serves as a store room.

“There is goat,” he says, pointing at the considerable supply of dried meat, “and other goods, if tha wish them.” His gesture at the heaps of bags, crates, jars, casks, boxes–all jumbled together and shoved to one side–is dismissive, as if there is nothing of value to be found. You stare wide-eyed at a bolt of fine silk, at the glint of gold from a carelessly overturned casket with a broken lid.

“What is all this?”

“Payment for the toll, for when there were no goats.”

“You don’t do anything with the things paid for the toll? They just sit and rot?”

He shrugs. “I butcher the goats.”

You can only shake your head, but the practicality can’t be denied–gold and silk isn’t much use in a cave, and it’s with less wonder but more delight that you find flour, oil, and salt.

Breakfast is fried bread--and goat meat.

Once the meal is prepared and cleaned away, the troll vanishes up the dark tunnel. He takes no lantern with him. He also doesn't say a word to you before he leaves, and you stand in the cave for a while, expecting him to come back with instructions, or–well, something. But he doesn’t, and  you can only twist your hands in the skirt of your gown for so long. Eventually you pick up the lantern and explore. 

There is little enough to see. Other than what you noticed when you arrived, there is an alcove that must be where the troll sleeps, on piled furs that smell musky but not unpleasant. There is the storage cave, although it seems larger than it did at first, because you realize that you can’t see the far wall before the circle of light gives way to darkness.

And then there is the tunnel entrance, where your new employer disappeared, and which presumably leads out, to--your stomach lurches at the memory of being upside down from the sky–the underside of the bridge. But perhaps that had been an illusion, and the tunnel merely led out to an opening in the bank underneath the bridge? You had been half out of your mind with fear, after all. Maybe you dreamed that part.

Maybe…maybe you could simply walk out of this tunnel, out of the dark, and walk all the way home.

Except that you agreed to a contract. And the troll did say he wouldn’t eat you, wouldn’t even touch you, which was more than any of the men at the big house ever promised...none of them had touched you, but you knew that was because you had been careful, so careful, all the time, to be invisible. 

It had helped that Mattie made it easy to fade into the background. She flaunted her pretty curls and winsome dimples, and when she sometimes crept into your shared attic room well after midnight she always had a new length of fine fabric for a dress or a necklace of amber beads to show for it. You asked once if she wasn’t afraid of falling pregnant, but she just shrugged.

“I know to be careful,” she said, and hid the coins she’d gotten for selling her latest bauble away beneath her bed.

Thinking of Mattie makes your eyes sting with tears, and reminds you that probably there was no home to walk back to–and if you tried, there would likely be nothing to be done there except burying the dead. You leave the tunnel entrance alone, and busy yourself with organizing the heaped goods in the storage cave.

When Brúsi returns, he brings you eggs, freshly laid and nested in a straw packed basket. 

“They had no goat." He shrugs. 

Other than struggling to invent new ways of preparing goat meat, most of your time is spent sorting. You find all manner of things in the storage cave, from precious jewels to plain linen fabric. The gems and gold you store in caskets, and then can’t shift on your own–Brúsi laughs at you, and picks them up with one hand, arranging them neatly along one wall as you direct him. You stack bolts of fabric, folding shorter lengths neatly into a another chest, you line up swords with gold wrapped hilts, swords with elaborately carved scabbards, swords that are short, swords that are nearly as long as you are tall, and then there are maces and axes and other things you can’t name. There’s even a pair of pistols in a tooled leather box, their handles gleaming mother of pearl. It’s more treasure than you ever imagined, and you feel that you’re in a dragon’s den instead of a troll’s cave--except that Brúsi shows little interest in the goods, except for the goat meat.

“If you don't have a use for these things, why accept them?” you asked, after the third day of sorting boxes and bundles and barrels, and still not finding the back wall of the cave. You’d found a crown, heavy and lumpy, like something out of an ancient grave, and under it a belt of bronze scales that linked together.

The troll just shrugged. “They are the toll, for the bridge. There must be a toll.”

“Then…" you bite your lip, but blurt "can I use some things?”

“If tha hast a use for them, then mayhap the bridge meant them for tha to use.”

“You make it sound like the bridge is alive,” you murmur, running your fingers over the bolts of fabric, already imagining yourself in a dress made of such soft material.

“The bridge is the bridge,” Brúsi says.

“What does that mean?”

He just shrugs.

You sigh, picking up a bolt of wool–practical, and still finer than anything you’ve ever worn. “If the bridge provides, can I give it a list? I need thread, needles, scissors, buttons…I can’t keep wearing this dress,” you gesture down at yourself. “Not without something else to wear while I wash it, at least, but I can’t make anything without supplies. And for that matter I need soap–”

Brúsi tilts his head. “Tha may always ask the bridge, but it works slowly. Simpler for tha to go to a market.”

You stare at him, your mouth falling open. “I can? I mean, is that allowed? I thought…”

He stares at you, the intense blue of his eyes unblinking, and you finally shrug. “I just thought I couldn’t leave the cave.”

“Not for long, but art not bound to the bridge as I am. Come.” He scoops a handful of coins into a pouch and leads you into the tunnel.

The ground slopes upward under your feet, and after a time there is a door before you, swinging outward. Brúsi ducks under its arch, his broad form filling the opening. When he doesn't move to let you through, you realize that he's blocking the way deliberately. Unease spikes through you.

"Is something wrong?"

"The bridge made tha sick before," he says. “Tha shouldst close thine eyes.” You squint suspiciously up at him–is he laughing at you?–but obey. You hear the rattle of his bone-decorated belt as he steps toward you, but then he stops. “I must touch tha,” he says. “Just to lift tha over the topside.”

“All right,” you whisper. You stifle a gasp as his enormous hands circle your waist, lifting you easily off of your feet, and then after a blur of motion you feel stone under you again.

When you open your eyes, you’re on the narrow stone arch of the bridge.  Your lantern flame becomes suddenly pale compared to the warm sunlight that makes you blink and squint. There is no dark and shadowed forest hemming in the river. Instead there is a road, smooth hard dirt fringed with wildflowers on either side, and the rooftops of a village in the distance.

“Where…” You look down at the bridge under your bare feet. 

“The bridge is all bridges,” Brúsi says. He holds out the leather bag of coins, and you take it, staggering a bit at the weight. “Buy whatever tha need.”

You hesitate, glancing from the troll to the road. What is there to stop you from walking away and never returning, from making a life somewhere? The bag in your hand holds more money than you had ever expected to earn in your life. There would be nothing to hold you to the bridge…except your promise.

“Tha canst not escape the bridge.” Brúsi seems to be reading your thoughts, although he’s not even looking at you. He’s gazing down at the water. “Every bridge tha sets foot on will be this bridge, until the toll is paid.”

“Of course.” The bag of coins drags at your arms, and you fumble it open, taking out a handful. “I should be able to get everything I need with these–it would be dangerous to carry all the rest of this.”

The troll frowns, glancing from you to the distant rooftops. “Danger from other humans?”

“Only if I seem to have more money than I should,” you assure him hastily. “It would get attention from the wrong kind of humans. I'll be careful.”

 The coins bite into your palm as your fingers clench unconsciously. The frown creases his forehead, not smoothed away by your reassurances, and you half expect him to shake his head and pick you up under his arm again, ready to toss you back under the bridge. 

“Please?”

 You bite your lip too late to keep the word in, but there are lazy curls of smoke rising from the distant chimneys, and you can hear the lowing of cattle nearby, the friendly chime of chapel bells...and all you can think about is cheese. Cheese, and fruit to pair it with, or potatos, perhaps. Honeycakes. Your stomach rebels at the very thought of dried goat.

Brúsi jerks his chin toward the road. “Go, then. The bridge will be waiting for tha to return.”

You hand off the sack of coins–your shoulders more than grateful to be relieved of its weight–and the troll adds it to the other oddments that dangle from his belt among the bones. He folds his arms.

The handful of coins you kept are barely enough to make your pocket sag with their weight, but you can feel them as a reassuring lump under your skirts. You run anxious hands over your hair and stained gown, smoothing uselessly at wrinkles. 

“I wish I had been able to bathe properly,” you mutter. “I look like a ragamuffin.”

But your hands and face are clean, your hair neatly tied back, and dusk is not far off, so perhaps your bare feet will not be noticed. You step from the cool stone of the bridge to the warm hardpacked dirt of the road. 

"I'll be back s--" Your voice breaks off as you glance over your shoulder. The bridge behind you is a simple one of wooden logs, straddling a stream that a child could leap across. Gooseflesh prickles the back of your neck. You hurry down the road towards the village without looking back a second time.