#even couples therapy can’t save them

[everlusts]

thinking about how their bond transcends time, space, and destiny—soulmates tethered to each other. except they’re also walking two different paths that cannot overlap, always standing on opposite sides. but she still craves him, because he made her feel so deeply the way she hasn’t felt in centuries. the love she feels for him isn’t just tainted by the knowledge of his true identity; it’s torn apart by the fact that, even now, she still sees halbrand within him and she can only live in constant denial. maybe he sees the darkness lying dormant within her, the unspoken desires she barely acknowledges herself—and it terrifies her that he, of all people, is the one who understands them

and then he’s this fucked up lunatic. meets her when he’s been stripped of everything. he’s so drawn to her and it’s suddenly a romcom filled with crazy sexual tension she is the one person who could have pulled him from the shadows, the reflection of what he might have been in another life—someone who drew him toward the light. but that is still never quite enough to make him leave the darkness behind

she forever chooses good. he is entrenched in his depravity. and yet they both live haunted by this choice of never experiencing again what they felt in those few moments when he was just halbrand and she was just galadriel. just them on the raft. this ‘love’ festers like a wound that will never heal, reminding them of what could have been but never will be

now every time they face each other they’re faced with feelings that neither of them expected to develop and it’s a sore point for both and they can’t erase that intimacy and they’re both frustrated because why not

& for him it has turned into if you can’t have me in your heart the way i desire then i will have you in the only twisted way i know how to which. wow. woah.

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning

TW: Conversion "Therapy" Mention / Homophobia

AN: Sorry this one took a while! - longer than I'd like away!. Coming back from a mini vaca and getting back into work and routine is a nightmare, also my delicate sleep schedule is ruineddd. Anywho, we should be back in business now! :) now, DJ play Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan!

Transcript under the cut

Geoffrey: Great job, bud! Tree is looking great!

Malcolm: It’s because I’m a decorator like mommy.

Jonathan: Mom, are you leaving? We’re supposed to decorate the tree too.

Nancy: Save a few ornaments for me to put on there, darling. Mommy has to step out for a couple hours.

Geoffrey: Johnny’s right, you know. Decorating it is apart of the deal.

Nancy: Can’t you spare me an hour or two?

Geoffrey: Remember what I said about being there?

Nancy: That’s not fair. I’ve been doing better, haven’t I? I left work early, which I’m hardly ever able to do and we found the tree together. I haven’t seen Vanessa in 16 years, Geoffrey. This is important to me.

Geoffrey: Yeah, well, this is pretty important to them.

Nancy: Please don’t make me feel guilty about this.

Geoffrey: It’s just you and Vanessa, right?

Nancy: [frowns] Yes, of course. I’ll be back, ok?

-

Vanessa: I’m glad you came.

Nancy: I wouldn’t have miss this for the world.

Vanessa: You look so beautiful tonight.

Nancy: [blushes] So do you. You’ve always have.

Vanessa: [smiles] I wasn’t sure on your choice of champagne, so I hope you don’t mind we have mine. I guess it’s one of the many things we’ll have to learn about each other.

Nancy: This is perfect. I’m sure I’ll love anything you like.

Nancy Narrates: [I found myself unable to eat. Instead, I got my fill of her. I studied her, consumed the sight of her with greedy, curious eyes]

Nancy Narrates: [It thrilled and frightened me the way she took me in too, as if she was trying to recall all those precious details that may have gotten lost in time. Seeing all the ways I could have changed and stayed the same]

Nancy Narrates: [One thing was for certain: my heart still raced the moment our fingers found one another, just like when we were girls. It was a delicate and familiar touch that I could feel from inside, and it was almost as if no time had passed at all]

Vanessa: [softly] Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, the woman you’ve become. I’ve thought of you, over time, what kind of woman you grew up to be.

Nancy: Is it what you expected?

Vanessa: Successful? Powerful? Stunning? Yes, I like to think so.

Nancy: I’ve thought of you too.

Vanessa: Yeah?

Nancy: I thought about what you did, after high school. Who you became. If you fell in love. If you thought about me too. Feels good, knowing you did.

Vanessa: I think holding on to the version of you I remembered kept me sane, after all this time. Do you mind if I smoke? Helps my nerves.

Nancy: As long as I can bum one.

Vanessa: Hey, do you remember our first cigarette together?

Nancy: How could I forget?

Vanessa: Share a light with me. For old times’ sake?

Vanessa: So, care to share all those burning questions you said you had for me?

Nancy: Now I feel like I’m being put on the spot.

Vanessa: Oh, come on. Don’t go shy on me now. How’s this? I’ll ask a question, then you, and so on.

Nancy: Alright. Shoot.

Vanessa: Do you still talk in your sleep?

Nancy: I- what!? I did not talk in my sleep!

Vanessa: Oh, yes you did. Full sentences too. You monologued even.

Nancy: Fuck off, I did NOT talk in my sleep! How would you know anyway? You were practically narcoleptic. I’d be up for hours after you fell asleep.

Vanessa: [murmurs] Still talks in her sleep- in denial about it. Ok. Got it. Your turn.

Nancy: I’ll ask a REAL question this time.

Vanessa: [smirks] That was a real question. I came all this way just to know but ok, ask away.

Nancy: Well, speaking of ‘all this way’. Where do you live?

Vanessa: Here and there. I don’t like to sit in one spot for too long; I get restless. Bored. I’ve spent the last 6 months in Tomorang. Beautiful people. Lovely culture. That’s actually where I heard your name mentioned for the first time. You’ve got quite the reputation over there. You’ve been up to no good, I hear.

Nancy: Christ...long story. Please don’t ask. Are you thinking of moving here?

Vanessa: Ah, ah. It’s my turn. Let’s see...ah! Who’s idea was it to make Geoffrey ‘Mr. Landgraab’. That’s probably the funniest shit I’ve ever heard.

Nancy: My parents, of course. They didn’t want to erase the family name and since they no longer have a son to continue their legacy- well. You get it. Speaking of marriage, are you married?

Vanessa: No, I’m not married.

Nancy: Well. Are you...seeing anyone?

Vanessa: [smirks] No.

Nancy: Children?

Vanessa: No children either. Those counts as a question, by the way.

Nancy: Oops. Ok, ok, you can ask two then. It’s only fair.

Vanessa: I guess I’ll ask a ‘real question’ then. Are you happy like this?

Nancy: [pauses] Like...what?

Vanessa: Married. Married to him. Does it make you happy?

Nancy: [shifts] I care for him very much. He’s the father of my children. He’s a good man and he’s good to me. Why are you asking me this-

Vanessa: Do you still like women?

Nancy: Do you?!

Vanessa: You have to answer my question first-

Nancy: Did you get my voicemail? November 2nd, 1993. I called you and I left you a voicemail. Did you hear it?

Vanessa: Nancy-

Nancy: Why didn’t you call me back? What—what happened to you, Vanessa? Where did you go? Where have you been!? Why, after all this time, am I just now seeing you?

Vanessa: It’s not really the easiest thing to talk about, but I know I owe you closure. [exhales] After I was pulled out of school, my father had me admitted. I received treatments to ‘fix’ me. Every time I fucked up and pissed off my father, he’d pack me up and ship me off until I came back normal and obedient.

Vanessa: There were days I thought I couldn’t keep going on like that, but then I heard your voicemail, and it... scared me. It made me angry. It broke my heart, but most importantly, it woke me up. I finally found the strength to escape my father and live my own truth. It cost me everything—my family disowned me. I relinquished my fortune, but in return, I’m free. I’m free, and I can live the life I deserve. I just... I wish I could have called, but life didn’t work out that way.

Nancy: It should have because I did call you, Vanessa.

Vanessa: I know.

Nancy: [weakly] I said that I loved you..

Vanessa: I know, I know...things were different for me back then.

Nancy: Things are different now! I’m married. I’m a mother!

Vanessa: I know, Nancy. I didn’t come here to break up a happy home.

Nancy: Why did you come here?

Vanessa: Can’t a girl miss her best friend?

Vanessa: Listen. I’ve thought a lot about how I would fit into your life if I ever got to see you again, if this was something you would want at all. That time we shared in our youth was the happiest I’ve ever been. I missed that feeling. I’ve missed you. I’m in a place to explore a friendship with you again, if you want it. If not, then I’ll accept that.

Nancy: I do want this. I want you here. I just...I can’t...

Vanessa: I know. It could be simple. Easy. I miss you, Nancy.

Nancy: [sighs] I miss you too. I’ve missed you so much.

[elihermit]

Evan Buckley x female reader

His girlfriend gets into a car crash and he has to try and save her, he goes to the hospital with her and waits by her bedside for her to wake up. She ends up being paralysed from the waist down and when she wakes up and finds out she struggles to cope with it, she has physical therapy to try to regain her strength but she gets upset so buck tries to comfort her and helps her through it, when they get out of hospital he knows this is their new normal and he is positive and tries to support her. Please include lots of angst and fluff 🥹🫶 thank you xx

eternal sunshine

pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader

summary: After a serious car crash, your lower body is paralyzed. You find it very hard to cope with, but Buck is not going to give up on you. Can you accept it?

word count: 2,4k

author’s note: thanks to an anon for this request, that’s a very special fic indeed, I hope you like it!

p.s. requests are open🫧

“(Y/N), I need you to stay awake. Please try for me, darling.” — you can hear Hen's voice, but it sounds like an echo. It's hard for you to stay conscious, you're gathering all your strength not to fall asleep, even though it sounds very tempting.

“Hen, I don’t feel my legs.” — panic rises in your throat, you feel sick. “Where’s Buck?”

Buck didn't have a shift today, but you were glad that familiar faces came to your rescue. You could trust them and not be afraid if something went wrong.

“We already called him, (Y/N), he’s on his way.” — at the same time, they took you out of that damn car and put you on a stretcher. You still couldn't feel your legs, but honestly, you couldn't feel your whole body. You were so afraid that fear paralyzed you. It’s probably normal.

You were carried to the ambulance, you felt that a couple more minutes and you would pass out. But you need to at least wait for Buck, he'll be so worried if he finds you unconscious.

“(Y/N)!” — you heard Buck's worried voice and felt his touch on your arm. He made it.

“Hey baby, I’m oka-“ — you couldn't finish the sentence, fatigue and fear took over and you blacked out.

You open your eyes already in the hospital. The bright light blinds your eyes and makes your head hurt even more. You didn't know how long you were lying like that, but your body was very numb.

“Hi, my love, welcome back.” — you hear Buck’s voice and turn your head in his direction. He's smiling at you, but his red and puffy eyes said he was crying.

You smile back at him and take his hand. You're just glad that it's finally over and you can recover. You close your eyes for a couple of seconds and exhale. You got out of this alive.

You open your eyes and the smile leaves your lips. You try to move your legs, but nothing works, you don't feel the whole lower part of your body. Panic engulfs your lungs and you start breathing faster.

“Buck, I can’t move my legs.” — your voice breaks and tears fill your eyes. You knew it was a bad sign when you were still at the scene of the accident.

“Shh, baby, you’re fine, breathe with me.” — Buck looks at you with a smile and tries to calm you down.

“I don’t need to breathe, tell me what’s going on.”

He looks at you and goes silent. He had hundreds of scenarios in his head about how he would tell you about it, but seeing how scared and confused you are, he just can't pronounce these words. He doesn't want to disappoint you.

But you didn't need to hear any words, everything was written on his face and it hurt more than any physical pain. A cry came out of your mouth. A terrible cry that turned into a scream. All the pain and all the resentment against yourself for getting in the car that damn day was reflected in this crying. Your whole body was shaking from how much you were crying. You were screaming. Buck pulled you into his arms and just held you. He's never seen you so lost and devastated, but he kept saying you weren't alone.

“Buck, what am I going to do? What are we going to do?” — you were able to tell between sobs.

You felt like you were suffocating and it was all becoming hysterical. Nothing will be the same as before. You'll be a burden, you won't be able to give Buck what you could have given him if you hadn't been paralyzed. Your life will be limited.

“We’re gonna fight, baby. And we will go through this as we have gone through all the difficulties before, okay?” — you shook your head in disagreement and turned away from him.

You can't look into Buck's eyes. You cannot accept that you will change not only your life, but also his. You would like to say that you are ready to fight, but you are not. You weren't ready for this and you don't know when you'll be ready.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.” — he spoke softly and gently turned your head so that you could look at him. “Our best solution is physical therapy. You have every chance to gain your strength and get back on your feet. I've already talked to the doctors, just trust me.”

“But it can take years. I don't want you to waste your years like this.” — it's true, you'd rather let him go than drag him along, you'll be completely dependent on him.

“My years will be wasted if you're not by my side. Not for one second did I think to leave you in this. This is our fight.” — Buck reaches for your lips and leaves the most tender kiss. There is so much care and love in this kiss that you have no choice but to believe him.

4 months later

Your life consists of a hospital and constant physical therapy sessions. You're tired and exhausted, but you've never been the type to give up quickly.

When you felt that you were going off the path and starting to move in the opposite direction, Buck was there to take your hand and put you back on the right path. He was always smiling, supportive, and proud of your little victories more than you are. For you, these were not victories, but reminders that there is still a lot of work ahead.

Today was another physical therapy session and you finally convinced Buck that you'd be fine without him. He did not miss a single session and because of this he could take fewer shifts at work. You knew that he loves his job and that's literally what energizes him better than any coffee, so today you sent him to work.

But Maddie was with you today, Buck couldn't leave you all alone, even though the doctors at the hospital became your family.

Everything was going well, you did the usual exercises, your therapist gave you a massage of the lower extremities between exercises, then you switched to special simulators.

“Look how good you’re doing, your progress is wonderful.” — you heard Maddie behind your back and froze.

It triggered something inside you. All 4 months you tried to be strong, not to show how desperate you are on dark evenings. You didn't want to be pitied, you wanted to be treated without much distinction.

But everyone behaved around you as if you needed to be coddled. They think they're helping you, but it just reminds you of your condition every time.

And you don't see any fucking progress. What are you doing that is so amazing? You don't run, you don't dance, you don't even walk, you just take little clumsy steps. How dare they call it progress.

“Okay, that’s all for today.” — you still had 20 minutes of the session left, but you didn't feel like finishing it.

“Why? Are you in any pain?” — your therapist asked with a concerned look and stood in front of you.

“No, I just don’t want to do it anymore, so don’t push me.” — you said it and clenched your jaw. You could feel anger filling your body and you wanted to get back to your room before you started snapping at everyone.

You heard the door open and saw Buck. What the hell is he doing here? He's supposed to be at work, but instead he's back here and he's going to babysit you.

“How’s my baby doing?” — Buck squatted down to be on the same level with you and gave you the sweetest smile.

“What are you doing here?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You were so annoyed that you needed to calm down. The last thing you wanted to do was take all your anger out on Buck. He doesn't deserve it, he's the only one who didn't treat you very differently when you got paralyzed.

“I canceled my shift because I couldn't miss your session. I know you said you'd be fine, but I just couldn't.” — he took your hand, kissed your knuckles and looked at you with a loving look.

“We've already finished, help me get to my room.”

When you got to your room, Buck helped you get on the bed. You loved having Buck with you in the evenings because he filled you with that sense of security and confidence. When he had night shifts, it was the most depressing time of your day because you were alone with your thoughts.

“So why did you finish earlier today? I thought you still had 20 minutes of your session when I came.” — lying down on the bed next to you, Buck asked you.

“I didn’t feel like continuing.” — you put your head on his chest and started drawing with your fingers some random stuff on his arm. You always did this when you had a lot of thoughts in your head, but you couldn't formulate them into sentences in any way.

“Why baby? Is something bothering you? You know you can always tell me.” — he’s so sweet, that’s why you don’t deserve him.

“A lot is bothering me, Buck. The expressions on people's faces when they come to me, how everyone tells me about progress and how I've been your burden for 4 months, but you can't admit it.”

You felt tears forming in your eyes. Anger was replaced by sadness, which tore you apart from the inside. It's a feeling of helplessness and complete lack of interest in this fight. You wanted to give up everything, to be alone so that no one else would waste their time on you.

“I can’t admit something that isn’t true, (Y/N). You survived and it's not a burden, but a blessing. I thank the universe for every day with you.” — he pulled you closer to him. How he would like to take away all the pain that's inside you. Buck knew what was going on in your head, so he was always there to reassure you.

“Sometimes I think it would be better if I died than to drag you through something you don't have to go through.” — you whispered it so quietly that you didn't know if Buck had heard. You weren't even sure that you heard your own voice.

Buck's heart broke at those words. You've never been so vulnerable with him, usually you go through even the most difficult events with a big smile and an open heart. But this accident took away a piece of you. You were once cheerful, but now you are completely broken.

“I didn't doubt us for a second. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone else, it's always been you.” — Buck put his fingers under your chin and lifted your head so you could look at him. “I know that you don't see progress and it's hard for you to accept that it's moving so slowly. Do you know why you don't see progress? Because every day you are in your body and you don't see yourself from the outside. But I see you. And I see all your efforts and you're doing such a good job, baby.”

“It doesn't feel like enough.”

“But you’re enough in every fucking way. I still see those (y/e/c) eyes that I fell in love with, I still see that smile that immediately makes my day better and I still see that woman I want to call my wife one day.” — Buck kisses your forehead.

“Even when I’m like this?” — you don't know why you're still doubting it, you don't want to lose Buck, but you need these words from him to be sure that you're not dragging him down and he really wants it.

“Like what? An absolutely normal human being? Nothing changed for me and my feelings are still the same too.” — you kiss him. For the first time in 4 months, you felt normal and you fucking loved it.

“Now baby, we will be home in a week, I’m sure familiar walls are going to make you feel better.” — and he kissed you one more time.

A week later, you were at home, your therapist said that you were ready for this and now you will travel to sessions from your home. You don’t need to live in a hospital now. Honestly, you were excited, you were homesick, and you wanted to be in an environment that always made you feel comfortable and safe.

Buck opened the doors to your shared house and said with a smirk:

“Welcome back, babygirl.”

The next thing you saw were your friends, who were joyfully welcoming you back.

“Here’s my girl, finally I will be able to come here on my days off and talk with a smart person.” — Hen had a big smile on her face and hugged you tightly.

“Ouch, I thought I was your one and only, Hen.” — Chim put his hand over his heart as if he had been stabbed. “But seriously, Jee missed her Aunt (Y/N), she’s excited to be babysitted by her favorite person.”

You loved this little girl, so you were always happy to spend time with her when Chim and Maddie were busy.

“Yeah, honestly, I will be back tomorrow, we need to bring back our barbecue parties, I'm craving your signature ribs.” — Eddie made the chef’s kiss.

“I thought I was making the best food, but Eddie hasn't stopped talking about these ribs for 4 months.” — Bobby laughed and came up to you. “Welcome back, (Y/N), we missed you.” — he gave you that fatherly hug that you loved so much.

You looked at Buck and for the first time smiled so sincerely that your cheeks started to hurt. You knew that the path would be long and difficult, but you will definitely cope with it next to your loved ones. A lot has changed, but at the same time nothing has changed, you can still enjoy all the joys that have become a part of you with each of your friends.

Buck came up to you and kissed you. Tears of joy poured from your eyes, right now you realize that you have the strength to cope with these and your relationship with Buck has become even stronger and more sensual.

“I think I can get used to this.” — you said into Buck’s lips. “I love you, thank you for being by my side.”

“Forever and always, I love you.”

One more kiss and this is your new normal.

[bullet-prooflove]

A Loaded Gun: Terry Silver x Reader

Tagging: @volumesofforgottenlore@kmc1989@somethingdarkside17@noonee333

The moment John Kreese steps into your home, you can sense the change coming. It’s in the way that Terry’s shoulders tense, his change of tone, the subtle clench of his jaw. You can tell he doesn’t want to introduce you, but his manner’s win out and you find yourself shaking hands with his ‘old friend’.

“So Terrance, you’ve actually the knot huh?” Kreese remarks as he glances between the two of you.

You know how it must look, a younger woman with an older man, especially one of Terry’s means. You’ve learned to ignore it but you can see how much it riles Terry. He’s protective when it comes to you he always has been.

“A few years ago.” Terry informs the other man, his fingers entwining with yours. “We’ll be celebrating our third anniversary in a couple of weeks.”

It feel like an invasion, the way Kreese stalks around the house examining the evidence of your relationship. He picks up the framed wedding picture of the two of you off the mantlepiece before he studies it intently. Terry watches him with crossed arms, dogging is footsteps like a predator. You’ve never seen him like this before, so guarded, so territorial.

“You say you’ve known each other a long time.” You remark as you begin to pour tea for the three of you. It’s a special blend of Sakura tea that you’d brought back from your last trip to Osaka, the you and Terry go every spring for the cherry blossom festival.

“Fifty years.” Kreese says taking up residence at your kitchen table. Terry lowers himself into the seat across from the other man, his eyes never leaving him. “We met in Nam, Special Forces.”

The atmosphere shifts as you tilt your head towards Terry because this is the first time you’re hearing about a career in the military. His lips purse together as he gives Kreese a glacial look, it’s the first time you’ve seen anything but warmth from the man you love.

He’s withdrawn after Kreese leaves, out of sorts. He spends the rest of the evening on the terrace in silence staring out across the sea. When the light starts to fade you come to stand alongside of him, your shoulder bumping lightly against his.

“You never told me about Vietnam.” You say quietly and Terry just shakes his head.

“I don’t like to go back there.” He tells you, his thumb chasing over platinum wedding band on his left hand. “My life spiralled when we got back home. The coke, the karate, I did a lot of things through the sixties, seventies and eighties that I wasn’t proud of. You weren’t even born then and I’d already fucked up my life.”

“You came through it through.” You say softly. “You went to rehab, stuck with therapy, got healthy. Don’t let John Kreese showing up on our doorstep derail you.”

Terry sighs as he rubs his palms together.

“There are things you don’t know, that I can’t ask you to understand and my connection to John Kreese is one of them.” He says, his voice a little rough. “He saved my life back then, there’s a debt there.”

“One he now wants you to pay.” You say with understanding.

“He wants me to come back to Cobra Kai.” Terry tells you, his hands gripping the railing so tightly his knuckles turn white. “It feels like he’s handed me a loaded gun.”

“One that you’re in control of.” You remind him as you study the profile of his features. “You don’t have to pull the trigger.”

“That’s the problem.” He says as he watches the storm clouds gather on the horizon. “It’s in my nature.”

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[shiggybrainr0t]

suggestive content, mdni. warnings: not discussing kinks before hand.

we always talk about bakugo learning how he can be gentle with you, and how hard that is for him because his hands have caused so much destruction- on people, in places- and if he accidentally hurt you it would kill him. but what about teaching him that’s it’s ok to be a little rough as well?

bakugo holds you in very high regard- he has standards that are out the roof and you exceed them all. he treasures you immensely, because he knows that his temper is still rough, and that he’s too quick to pop off when things get heated, and he still isn’t the best communicator, but you understand him. you understand that he’s trying- and he is! therapy has reduced from twice a week to a couple times a month, so that shows his progress in itself. you tell him all the time that you love him for him, hot headed as he is. one day he came home from a mission gone wrong-he couldn’t save as many as he knew he could have, if he had just done more- and when you took one of his large scared hands in your own and kissed his palm, lips coming back slightly shiny from the nitroglycerin still coating them, that was the first time you ever saw him cry.

so bakugo treats you gently. he’s finally understanding that his hands can be used for good. his hands cook you your favorite food, they caress your back soothingly whenever you both cuddle, they pat a child’s head when they excitedly run up to him when he’s on patrol. they make you giggle, and moan when he crooks his fingers just right. they grip your own hands tightly when you’re both close.

when you guide his hand to your throat the first time he freaks out. almost falls off the bed in haste to get away from you, because the image of him holding you like some villain he had just caught is one he can’t stand. you realize then that this is something you both need to talk about. he looks so vulnerable sitting there, naked and wide eyed, staring at you with so much raw emotion. afraid he’s hurt you even though you were the one who initiated it.

it takes time, and communication, but eventually you don’t have to guide his hand to your neck anymore, he does it himself and finds that it fits perfectly. he doesn’t shy away from digging his fingers into your hips, or biting your shoulder. doesn’t feel bad for liking it whenever you like it so much as well. he pulled your head back by your hair one night and you let out a moan so loud and clenched so tightly around him he had to stop because he almost came undone.

exploring the waters with you isn’t scary, because just as you trust bakugo to always keep you safe, he trusts you the same way.

[crescentpaws]

“surely crescentpaws’s sims version of fintante can’t get any worse right?” WRONG!

they’ve just started straight up refusing each other’s romantic interactions now 💀 can’t even kiss a guy anymore without him shoving you away from him smh. guys you are literally married come on

sigh. divorce arc is happing too soon

- their relationship bar got so low they’re not even friends anymore 😭

this screenshot is funny. WDYM ACQUAINTANCES. YOU’RE LITERALLY MARRIED 😭😭 (and they definitely are foes now… this is what the strained romance dynamic does to a couple i guess…)

- i had them go on a date (in their own house this time so they wouldn’t get mad at random outside forces) that was specifically designed to help fix bad relationships but… it didn’t really work at all

- they got into a physical fight 😭 guys stop it with the domestic violence come on now you’re better than this (no they’re not)

(fintan won. if you even care. he wins most of his fights these days (other than the grim reaper one lmfao))

- full red bars for both friendship and romance ❤️ yay ❤️ i’m so happy for them (someone needs to divorce them immediately)

- so that was probably the worst date ever.

- was curious to know if bronte was still attracted to fintan after all of this and he acted like it was a crazy thing to ask….

hm. do i need to bring up the “you’re married” thing again

- they literally do NOT care…. guys come on i am trying to help you… they’re too proud to try to work out their issues 💀

- sending them to couple’s therapy ❤️

- it worked a tiny bit??? it changed their relationship dynamic from strained to steamy which at least makes them more willing to be physically intimate… tbh i think this was my saving grace actually.

(bronte did not like it though.)

- basically then i just kept having them flirt & kiss over and over again until they didn’t hate each other as much 💀 at one point their romance bar was almost completely filled at the same time they were still in the red friendship zone which i thought was funny

okay ❤️ yay ❤️

(tune in next week where there is a 90% chance that this will happen all over again. (probably going to send them to couple’s therapy again just to be safe LMAO) i love when the game is canonically accurate <3)

[banamine-bananime]

meets an encouraging, patient, fatherly commanding officer that chooses tucker specifically for an assignment and takes him under his wing. he’s actually a secret operative for a sinister military project recruiting tucker as a target practice guinea pig orchestrating the next couple years of his life to be a lie.

meets an alien that tells tucker he’ll help him fulfill the quest he’s the legendary hero of. he chestbursts him and steals a getaway vehicle given upon the “end” of the quest.

meets some weird computer program programmed by the culture the prophecy came from, pretty much the only remaining source of information about this “quest” that’s upended his life. it’s actually the ai of the freelancer trying to kill him and kidnap and use his kid to end the great war… uh, with slavery of the alien species

meets one of his best friends, an acquired taste and kind of an ass, but they give each other as good as they get and they’re a team. she leaves them to make the plan to capture junior and use him to enslave his species succeed. and tucker feels like can’t even be mad about it without feeling guilty because in her mind she was sacrificing herself and junior to save humankind from a losing war for survival, and immediately after he thinks she fucking dies and takes his kid with her!! they were friends and then for a few minutes they were almost enemies because she did the worst thing for the best reasons and then that’s it!!! how do you even grieve and process that. apparently tucker opted for watching reservoir dogs instead of therapy and i can’t blame him. that’s not the sort of grief you can find a self-help book for. HELLO I’VE BEEN SCREAMING FOR YEARS. never over it they make me insane.

meet some humans on the desert dig-team, charismatic down-to-earth soldier guys. breath of fresh air after he’s been stuck for months in complicated political situations with a species that has just recently decided to perhaps not kill all humans, as a reluctant religious figurehead in diplomatic corps that i’m sure just loved his way with words and women. bet he made a lot of friends there. the dig team kills them all except him and he proceeds to spend the next months in a psychological thriller slash survival horror.

meet church again. church leaves again (and then again) and tucker’s left furiously picking up the pieces of blue team with caboose and some blond guy they rescued from the pound. we needn’t talk about that blond guy and whether tucker knows he both set up and hit the Original Church Killswitch lest tucker doesn’t know and hears us because i think he doesn’t need that extra complication in his life tbqh.

meets a charismatic mercenary with a rough exterior, but a heart of gold, right when tucker and caboose have lost all of blue team’s charismatic mercenaries and/or assholes with a rough exterior but a heart of gold. he. well. he stabs him in the back, guys. you know. i can’t get more on-the-nose than that.

meets church again. he seems like maybe he kind of gets that he was an ass and won’t go off killing himself this time. immediately after reconciling he sees the siren call of martyrdom and kills himself instantly after simulating several ways it could go very, very extremely badly for tucker, not even counting the previous evidence from how this went for some blond guy (sorry i’m committed to just calling him some blond guy in this post now for no reason except that i think it’s a mildly funny bit).

meets church someone else who’s been fucked over by project freelancer. he’s been manipulating them to get close enough to freezermurder their friends and implicate them in terrorism charges.

meets yet another young stray asshole with Issues and a heart of gold who needs some guidance, maybe someone he can be the kind of a leader he wishes he could have been to green team. she also stabs him again.

at some point we have to let tucker just start stabbing people. like a lot of people. i don’t think he’d enjoy a villain arc once he realizes that’s what’s happening but he deserves the sheer free joy and clarity of just solving problems with pure simple stabbing before he comes to that realization.

[postmanlee514]

Okay I’v been thinking about some post-game Rookanis thing since I finished my first playthrough

Spoiler ahead alert!

So here’s my hc: since my Rook is a Shadow Dragon,they will join the rebuilding of Mintharous and Lucanis needs to take the duty of The First Talon. The couple may have a long time couldn’t be able to make time for each other.

And finally the two get their time to discuss their own business such as:

1) Where to live, they can’t be separated in two city forever. Rook probably will be the one to compromise? They do enjoy the city and I think maybe Teia will invite them even before Lucanis asks LOL

2) my Rook is a Necromancer, It’s time to talk about necromancy with Lucanis 😆 I knew Emmerich tried but Hey! This is Rook speaking! Maybe Lucanis will try to understand necromancy?

3) Keeping pets. Lucanis already has a pet snake but how about Rook? Growing up in a military family, maybe they moved around a lot. This time they finally settle down, so keep pets is a good way to provide a sense of stability. But I also think Spite may disagree Lucanis and Rook’ decision Hahaha

4) About wounds healing . My Rook was a foundling and lost their parents years ago,then was Varric who was their nearly-father for like half a year, then was Harding-their longest-standing companion. They can’t be not having trauma in losing someone and be really fear to be abandone. So after all they’ve been through, maybe this is the chance Lucanis will be there for them for a mind therapy ? I would love to see them curing each other. <3

Followed are some of my gripes(No need to read!)

I literally cried for like 2 hours when I saw what Rook experienced when they trapped in Fade.Varric is always my favorite since DA 2, and damn! Varric’s words really help me to continue the game after the Mintharous or Treviso Choice. Shadow Dragons and Neve blamed all of this to Rook (and I was like “Rook is only one person without army and forces how could they be able to save the city? And Minrathous did have far more forces than Treviso has”)and they’ve already messed up the ritual. The self-doubt was about to overwhelm them, but they had to pretend to be optimistic and help everyone in the team dealing their problems.

My Rook has never considered themselves as a leader, they just stood out and begun to take the duty of finishing the job and they tried their best to take care of everyone. In the game,Varric was the only one asked Rook how long has it been since they’ve slept while they’re worrying others’ sleeping.

And the absence of companion banter, didn’t got their option when companion talking about a mage thing,etc…really made me feel unwanted . I hope maybe someday bioware could add some rook’s reaction to companion banter🥲

I mean, at least they should have comments on Romanced Lucanis told Taash how to kill mages and that’s like dancing or seduction …

“I’m right here hearing! Lucanis! ”

English is not my first language so please forgive me if I say something weird 🥲

about my Rook:

[eight-littlenightmares]

whump idea: screaming

cw: recapture, screaming, gag, car, references to past trauma, young whumpee, kidnapping, a lot of swearing/vulgar language, ehh stuff like that

***

Whumpee is walking home. It’s been a few weeks since she’s escaped her kidnapper Whumper—she’d been there a couple months, hadn’t even been the worst couple months she’d ever had, especially compared to the other incident—and she’s feeling better.

Or at least that’s what she’s telling herself. Truthfully she’s just as jumpy as always.

And tonight is no exception. In fact she’s feeling even worse tonight. She’s walking home after hanging out with her best friend all day. It had been great, she absolutely loves her best friend, but she’d stayed a little later than she’d meant to and now it’s pretty dark out. She feels strangely paranoid and she’s not quite sure why.

No, she does know why. She’s been jumpy ever since her first kidnapping, two or three years ago. She’d barely started recovering from that when Whumper had kidnapped her, that bastard.

Whumpee starts walking faster. She knows she’s just being stupid and paranoid as always, but she can’t shake the feeling that she’s being watched. And also maybe followed—no, no, she’s being ridiculous.

She’s going to get home just fine, and when she does she is going to sit on a fucking counter to exposure therapy herself. (It hasn’t really done anything other than make her unreasonably anxious yet, but she’s sure it’ll work at some point.)

But then Whumpee feels something. Nothing physical, nothing at all, but just a feeling, a feeling of something being Very Wrong. She can’t help it, she starts to turn around to look—

And then hands are on her.

Someone grabs her around the waist, someone much bigger than her, with rough hands and smelling of cigarette smoke.

Whumpee reacts immediately, shrieking and kicking at her attacker.

“..stop screaming,” a voice whispers into her ear. “I told you I’d find you again.” It’s Whumper’s voice.

Whumpee goes into a fit of terror. HELL NO, she is NOT being kidnapped again, she absolutely will not stand for it. No.

She starts to scream. As loud as she fucking can, screaming her fucking throat raw. She is NOT going back. She is not going ANYWHERE except HOME.

“HELP!!!” Come on. There’s gotta be someone nearby, someone who will wake up or who is already awake, someone who will care enough to save a poor teenager being kidnapped. Right? SOMEONE WILL SAVE HER, RIGHT?

She’s so fucking sick of this. She doesn’t wanna go back and she doesn’t wanna go anywhere with anybody, especially not Whumper. While Whumper isn’t the very worst person she’s ever had to deal with, he’s certainly not someone she ever wanted to see again. Fuck this guy anyways.

“Shut up,” Whumper snaps, glancing around to make sure they’re not being follows as he drags Whumpee towards his car.

Whumpee starts to scream louder. She’s getting more desperate. She will NOT go in that car, she absolutely REFUSES.

And then Whumper pulls a piece of cloth out of his pocket and ties it around Whumpee’s head in a gag. Whumpee struggles uselessly. She tries to scream again but her voice is muffled.

Whumper forces her facedown into the backseat of the car, wrenching her arms painfully behind her back and tying them with a length of rough cord. Whumpee feels tears begin to prick at the back of her eyes as she screams her fucking heart out. It’s not enough. It’s not fucking enough.

The car door slams shut. It sounds like a nail in a coffin. Then Whumper climbs into the front seat and starts the car.

The car starts moving. Whumpee has been kidnapped. Again.

(Hello!! Author’s note!! This is technically a oneshot of one of my OCs, but you can apply it to any character!! I also do not mind if you’d like to reblog and continue the story!!)

edit: changed Whumpee’s pronouns to she/her because she’s supposed to be based off of my OC anyways :D

[blinktwicebaby]

Whumptober

Day 31- Therapy

Fandom- Thunderbirds

Also posted here

“You can say whatever you want in this room, John” Dr Monroe said, her fingers interlocked in her lap.

“Yes, thank you. I don’t really know what to say.”

“That’s okay. Have you ever used a therapy service before?”

“Yes. Years ago.”

“And how was it?”

“Didn’t work” John laughed bitterly, finally catching Dr Monroe’s eyes.

“What didn’t work about it?” She asked politely.

“I don’t like telling strangers about my problems.”

“I get that. I also know that you’re here right now because you HAVE to be here. That probably makes it harder.”

“Yes.” John broke the eye contact and scratched the back of his head, then brushed his nose with a finger. “I mean… we lose people sometimes. The number one rule in my line of work is that ‘you can’t save everyone’.”

Dr Monroe considered the man sitting in front of her.

“This was a very public loss. Have you ever lost someone closer to you? A family member?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask what your reaction was when she died?”

John’s lip twitched in the corners.

“It was a long time ago.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence, Dr Monroe watching him and John avoiding looking at her. She nudged the tissue box closer and John took a couple. He blew his nose and dropped them into the bin at the edge of the coffee table.

“If you want to get anything out of your mandatory sessions, you’ll need to talk to me.”

“I don’t think I’ll get anything out of them” John replied breathily, looking up at the ceiling where a dream-catcher was hanging behind the doctor.

“Maybe, maybe not. If you don’t try though, it just seems like wasted time.”

John couldn’t suppress his mild laugh and he glanced into the Doctors eyes again, only for a moment.

“I don’t think I did anything wrong.”

“That’s a good start… the news said the accident was preventable, but not for your efforts. You boys seemed to have done everything you could.”

“We did. I did, anyway.”

“You seem to have a healthy relationship with your family, and the casualties of your work don’t seem to bother you.”

“They do, but we have to move on.” John crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch.

“Moving on gets us to tomorrow.”

* * *

“Have you done any therapy sessions before, Gordon?”

“Nope, my brains as healthy as a horse’s” Gordon replied cheerfully, taking a mint from the bowl on the table. He chewed it loudly, a little grossly.

“Even healthy people come to therapy. There are lots of reasons someone might come to see me.”

“I can think of a dozen reasons to come see you” Gordon said smoothly, leaning on the arm of the couch. Dr Monroe’s lips pressed together. He was very different to the first Tracy.

“How do you feel about being here mandatorily?”

“Being forced to spend an hour with you? I don’t see the problem in that at all.”

“Is that how you’d like to fill your sessions, Gordon?” Dr Monroe asked, his charm already becoming somewhat annoying. He was half her age and she wasn’t interested. She doubted he was either.

“I suppose it does get a bit repetative” Gordon laughed, taking a tissue from the box next to the mints. He started folding it, his hands sufficiently distracted.

“How did you feel after the incident?”

“It was a bit much, but nothing scares me, baby.”

“I understand you pilot Thunderbird 4? You must have seen a lot from the water.”

His fingers paused on the tissue. Had she found a crack?

His fingers kept moving after a moment, but they seemed more precise, more focused.

“I saw a lot. I had prime seats for the explosion…” he laughed while he spoke, but there was a hidden hurt in his voice that made Dr Monroe’s heart pinch.

“There were bodies. It was black from the smoke, and then bodies started falling into the water all around Thunderbird 4. It was raining corpses.”

“That sounds terrifying, Gordon” Dr Monroe said, shaking her head slowly.

“It was.” His fingers finished with the tissue and he placed the little origami fish deliberately on the table. “They were all I could see… I thought one of them-”

Gordon blew air slowly out his mouth. The corners of his lip curved upwards, the fake smile he’d worn at the start of the session returning. “One of them looked like Alan, but of course it wasn’t him. He was safe in Thunderbird 3.”

“Do you relate many of the people you see in your work to family members?”

“Sometimes… it’s not always family though. Or the people I help. You kind of look like my future girlfriend.”

* * *

“I went to therapy when I was a kid after my Mom died. We were in an avalanche and… well, I already did my time for that.”

“Did your time? Do you not want to be here?”

“No- no, it’s not that! I don’t mind being here, and who knows, maybe it’ll be good for me. Maybe I need it, but I guess I won’t know until I try it.”

“That’s a healthy way to look at it. Very positive.”

“I’m not against it, and I think it worked last time because I feel like I’ve come to terms with my mom dying, and it kind of but not really being my fault… you know, instead of it being completely my fault, but this time it MIGHT have been my fault, but I don’t- think- it was?”

“What makes you think this incident might have been your fault?” Dr Monroe asked, throwing his word choices back at him.

“My job was to carry the rig into space when everyone was away from it but I didn’t even get that far. I was helping Virgil- I mean, Thunderbird 2- and we were pulling apart the top of the towers so Scott-” he sighed at his idiocy, “I mean Thunderbird 1-, could pull them out through the top. I pulled out the tower that… you know.”

He was fidgeting with his hands unsurely. He gave Dr Monroe the idea that he had a lot of energy, that sitting down was as natural to him as breakdancing was to bears. She held the tissues out to him and he took one, tearing it absently into tiny pieces with his fingers.

“Is this working?” He asked.

“Do you think it’s working?”

“I don’t know.”

* * *

“Do you mind if I drink this in here?” Virgil asked, a transparent plastic bottle in his hand.

“Depends, is there any liquor in there?”

“No” Virgil laughed, “I don’t drink.”

“What is it?”

“Protein shake. It’s good for working out.”

“Do you mean before or after a work out?”

“Right now? Both.”

Dr Monroe sized him up. This one had muscles on muscles, and even though he’d only seen 4 out of the 5 Tracys, he was willing to bet that this one was the biggest out of all of them.

“Do you usually work out this much?”

“Well I have a lot more free time at the moment, now that international rescue is on ‘temporary leave.’” He rolled his eyes at the last two words then took a sip of his white, tasteless protein shake, “I usually work out in the morning and the afternoon, but, you know. I have all this free time, I should put it towards being stronger.”

“What will being stronger help you achieve?”

“I’ll be able to help more people.”

“Do you think your brothers are strong enough to help people?”

“Yeah” he laughed, “of course!”

“But you don’t think you are?”

Virgil’s gaze dropped and he sighed.

“It’s not like that. I know I’m strong. I’m the strongest out of all of them. It’s just…”

Dr Monroe waited for him to continue, but the rest of his sentence fizzled out of existence.

“Can I have one of those please?”

Dr Monroe picked up the tissue box and leaned it towards Virgil. He took one and wiped moisture off his bottle, then dumped the damp mess into the bin next to the table.

“So you have to be strong to pilot Thunderbird 2?” Dr Monroe asked.

“No, most people at any size could manage. Pilotings actually the easy part of the job.”

“What’s the hardest part?”

Virgil drank the last of his shake and swirled the dregs of wet powder at the bottom.

“Messing up.”

“Do you think you messed up?”

“We all messed up” Virgil muttered bitterly.

“How?”

“We didn’t get them out in time.”

“But you tried to.”

“Yes. And we failed.”

“Would being stronger have changed that?”

“Yes. No? I don’t know.”

* * *

Scott’s hands locked behind the back of his head, his elbows pointing out like a bird of prey. His cheeks were partially red and his eyes were bloodshot and slightly puffy from either waking up before his body was ready, or from crying not too long before the session.

“There were so many people. They looked up and saw Thunderbird 1… saw me… and they thought they were safe.”

“How did you feel, looking down and seeing their eyes on you.”

“It feels like I tricked them.”

“But you didn’t.”

His dishevelled hair showed remnants of gel, but it was flat in some areas and sticking up in others. His blue shirt was wrinkled and there was a small black stain under the pocket that might have been from a broken pen. He appeared to be the most rustled out of all of them, but at the same time he was somehow the most well put together.

“I didn’t mean to trick them. It feels cruel. Felt cruel?”

“Both work.”

“Right.”

“Is there any scenario where you wouldn’t go to help them?”

“No! I’d go every single time.”

“And how would the outcome change if you got a do-over?”

“Everything would be different. I’d go sooner, way before the explosion.”

“But you wouldn’t. John sent the call through and you all left straight away. There is no room for sooner.”

The red spread from Scott’s cheeks and became more vibrant, infecting his ears, forehead and chin. His lips parted and air pushed between them forcefully, his eyes closing from the effort. Tears welled up in the corners and dropped slowly down his cheeks. His hands fell by his sides, curled over the couch cushion fabric. He could feel snot pooling under his nose and wiped it away with the back of his hand. Dr Monroe nudged the box of tissues forward and Scott glanced at it.

“If I couldn’t get there sooner, it means the mission was doomed from the start. We’d fail every. Single. Time.”

“So those deaths were inevitable.”

“No. There is ALWAYS a way.”

“And what’s a way that might have worked here?”

“I-” tears dripped down his neck and into the collar of his shirt, “I could have…”

The fat part of his palms pushed into his eye sockets and rolled around. He’d thought of dozens of ways they could have approached the situation, but now he was supposed to share them, the errors in them all came to the forefront of his brain. Scott sighed without opening his mouth.

“211. We failed to save 211 lives.”

He wiped his palms across his eyes and curled them in his lap. He didn’t want to stain Dr Monroe’s couch.

“That’s a lot of people. How might you have saved them all?”

“I… I don’t know.”

He was still staring blankly at the tissue box, possibly even past it.

“You couldn’t.”

His lip quivered.

“I couldn’t.”

“My job is to help you live with the fact.”

“How do I-” the rest of his sentence was lost in sobs. He buried his face in his hands and leaned forward, his whole back arching from uncontrollable spasms. Dr Monroe had seen every type of patient on that couch, and this type of hard crying was 1 in every 10.

She left him to cry, and he went on for most of the session. That was fine too.

“Sorry” he said, wiping his hands all around his face. He rested his cheek in one of them and caught Dr Monroe’s warm eyes. “I don’t know how to get past this one. You can’t save everyone, but we always save someone.”

“Are you going to quit?”

“What? No!”

“What if you don’t save anyone next time either?”

“I will. I will do everything I can to save them next time!”

“You didn’t last time?”

“Of course I did.”

“But the circumstances were too dire.”

“They were too dire” Scott repeated in agreement. “I couldn’t save them, because the circumstances were too dire. I tried my best, it just wasn’t enough.”

Ugh. He’d been so close.

“What are you going to do with your time off?” Dr Monroe asked, changing the subject.

“Avoid the media, avoid the internet.”

“That’s what your bosses suggested. I mean what are you hoping to do while you’re at home.”

The corners of his mouth twitched.

“I’ll spend time with my brothers. They’re stuck at home too.”

“What will you do with them?”

The barely-there smile disappeared like a trick of the light. Had it ever been there in the first place?

“They aren’t doing well at home. I don’t think I’m supposed to tell you that, but I’m the one trying to keep them, well, themselves. It’s really hard.

John’s taking it the worst. He cries the most out of all of us. Gordon neglected his fish. It died and he buried it on the beach with a cross and everything. He cried in the sand until he passed out and I had to carry him in. Alan’s so quiet I never know where he is. I found him crying in a cupboard this morning, completely silent. I opened it to get a tea-towel, I didn’t know he was even in there! And Virgil… he works himself into exhaustion. He wakes up crying and doesn’t stop until he starts moving again. He went for a run yesterday and didn’t come back. I found him passed out in some bushes halfway around the island. He just… fell asleep, while running! He’s going to hurt himself really badly.

Im just… trying to get them through the day.”

Dr Monroe was taken aback.

“That sounds tiring. Does anyone look after you?”

Scott shook his head and took a few tissues from the box on the table. He wiped away the mess on his face and his hands and dropped them in the bin.

“We all failed 211 people. They think I handle it better than they do… but I just hide it better.”

[pimpedoutgreenears]

Back before season 5 aired, I really wanted to write a fic about Demetri and Eli dealing with their shit while Miguel was in Mexico. I had the vision of them remotely helping Johnny and Robby find Miguel, but also strengthening their relationship through therapy, because let's face it, someone in this show needs a therapy arc. And ofc they'd be going to a couple's therapist because Demetri let Hawk set up the appointment, and that's what made sense to him. And there would have been a bunch of her just objectively looking at the karate wars and being like, wtf? But I never got very far into writing it, and at this point I figure I won't ever go back to finish it. But, I really liked my opening scene, so I figured that I'd throw it into the void here so it doesn't live and die in my drafts.

It’s dark in the arcade, and, on an unconscious level, Demetri is aware that what they say about losing one sense making the rest stronger is indeed correct. He knows because he can smell the sweat around him, hear his own heart thudding over the screaming about finishing him, and feel the tension in his arm that tells him that it’s about to snap.

“Eli, stop! It’s me! It’s me!” words that should mean everything, but they don’t make the hand twisting his arm back release him.

No mercy, right?

He knows his arm is going to be broken— can see it in flashes, can almost prematurely feel the pain, like it’s a phantom of something that’s happened before.

“Stop! I’ll go, I’ll go!” But Eli’s not going to stop.

Eli is going to break his arm. Eli is going to leave him here. Eli isn’t his best friend anymore.

The smell, the screaming, the tension in his arm— it floods his senses. He knows what’s next. Somehow, he knows what’s next.

First the begging, then the…

SNAP

Demetri’s eyes open, and it’s not dark anymore, but his heart is still pounding as his hand darts out from under his blanket, searching for Eli on the air mattress beside his bed.

Demetri supposes that from a logical standpoint it might not make sense that his first reaction to a dream about his best friend breaking his arm (a thing that very much did happen and isn’t at all imaginary) is to reach out said appendage to find said best friend, but he can’t argue with the relief that fills his body when his hand wraps securely around Eli’s inner elbow.

Eli doesn’t flinch and instead reaches up to wrap his hand around Demetri’s elbow (or at least the spot right under it). “Bad dream?” he asks, tone already soft and knowing.

It’s not like Demetri has nightmares every night, but it’s often enough that Eli knows the signs by now. They’ve been living like they share lungs all summer.

“Yeah,” Demetri admits as he takes Eli in. The hand that isn’t holding his arm is holding his phone, a telltale sign that he’s been awake and waiting on Demetri to follow suit. “I’d tell you about it, but frankly they’re just boring at this point. You’d think the karate wars would have given me more interesting material.”

Eli’s thumb runs gently over his skin, a silent comfort before he says, “Yeah, who’d have thought trauma would be so boring.” It’s a half-hearted response, whether because he wants to say something more helpful or because he worries the dream is about him, Demetri doesn’t know.

He figures they’ll both be happier not knowing. They can save the honestly for therapy.

He switches to a new train of thought, even as his hand stays wrapped around Eli (He’ll let go when he’s ready, when he’s had his fill of the reassurance of his best friend’s skin— which is only a creepy thought if one voices it, which Demetri does not). “Any updates from the rescue team?”

Eli sighs, keeping his hold on Demetri even as he looks at his phone with a frown. He’s looking at a map, a red dot on it that represents Sensei Lawrence and Robby. “No, but they’ve been stopped at a bar for a while.”

Demetri can tell that he’s trying to hide the anxiety he feels surrounding their missing friend, so he squeezes his elbow and then does what he does best— commentary. “Oh, is it time for Sensei Lawrence’s breakfast beer already? I hear he can’t drive without one.”

Eli sighs again. Demetri wishes it was because of his mean joke, but he knows it’s not. “They should have found Miguel by now.”

Worry fills Demetri’s stomach too, but he refuses to humor it. For once he doesn’t want to be the one talking about all of the bad things that could be happening. “Come on, man, those two? We didn’t exactly send the dream team on this one,” Demetri says before realizing that probably wasn’t as reassuring as he meant it to be. “What I mean is, you have two capable guys who are… very emotionally constipated. When you factor in stops for family drama, they’re making good time.”

“We should have gone,” Hawk says, not for the first time since they’d found out that Miguel had left the country. It’d taken a lot for Eli not to jump on his bike and go. Demetri is pretty sure that had they not been together when they found out, Eli would be in Mexico too.

“Hey, we’ve been over this,” Demetri says softly, squeezing his friend’s arm again. “We can’t all just run to Mexico, and Sensei Lawrence beat us to the punch. Plus, with Miguel dealing with the whole dad thing… Well, we’re not exactly the father figure he’s looking for.”

Eli sighs again but this time in acceptance. “I just hate waiting.” Demetri watches as Eli looks at the dot again. It still isn’t moving.

“I know; me too,” Demetri admits before forcing a smile. “But hey, at least we get to play tech guy on operation ‘Star-crossed Fathers.’”

“That name sucks worse than the last one,” Eli says, a small smile forming.

“The right one will come, my friend. Mark my words.”

[csuitebitches]

I really enjoy your blog and was wondering if you have advice on one of my biggest mental blocks. I'm 23 but struggle to feel like an adult and being independent deeply scares me even through I want to be "chasing my dreams". I've lived with my close knit family my whole life and still spend a lot of time with my parents. I'm almost going to move away(in the next year) and so I've began the process of getting a car/saving money, etc. But then I find myself subtly sabotaging these efforts because the idea of being alone/moving away also terrifies me. I really want to experience moving to a city and working and traveling and doing things I want and at this point I'm finding it draining being my parents "stay-at-home-daughter". But I also get anxiously sick when I try a push myself for more independence. I've put so much on hold going through school and then living in my home town w. parents and it's kind of scary to imagine dating (never prioritized men + parents didn't let me date in highschool= never had a bf or anything) or living alone even though I'd love to have the experience. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Basically I still feel like a 15 year old when it comes to my personal life and that feels a bit shameful.

I want to tell you that we all feel what you feel. You’ll only ever feel like an adult when you’ve exposed yourself to the outside world, regardless of whether you can handle it or not.

independence scares you because it’s unfamiliar territory. Often when we look at people who are independent and on their own two feet, they seem to have a sense of self identity, purpose and responsibilities to handle.

I’m always in favour of people moving out of their parents homes for a couple of years at least (the culture where I come from also emphasises on the whole family living together and there’s no move out at the age of 18 concept) because I see the pros and cons of both situations of living in/ out of your parents home.

No book, YouTube video, friends’ experiences will teach you about being an adult. You have to step out and experience it yourself.

Start doing exposure therapy. Basically, slowly, bit by bit, immerse yourself into the traditional adult experiences.

I’ll give you examples. Understand fully how your insurance works. Keep all your medical records in both a physical and a digital file.

Understand how your car functions as a product - which means guarantees, warranties, insurance, emergency numbers, mechanics nearby, etc.

Start tracking all your spending expenses, even if you’re using your parents money at the moment. The earlier you start this habit, the better. Create a monthly budget for yourself and stick to it.

Start doing your own laundry in the house and learn that not all clothes go in the washing machine, some go for dry cleaning etc.

Make it a goal to learn to cook at least 5 dishes properly before you leave. If your parents are good cooks, ask them to teach you or go to every introvert’s favourite site, YouTube.

Pretend that your room is a mini apartment and try to keep it clean at all times.

Start socialising more. Not just with known friends. Sign up for a random hobby class like a book club or a running club where you can meet more people. Yes it’ll be difficult, yes you’ll have moments of awkwardness but don’t give up after just one meeting - go and meet new people to get used to the idea of interacting with strangers.

You can’t rush into feeling like an adult. It takes time. Exposure therapy is the best way to get into it. The more responsibility you can healthily shoulder, even if you fail at times, you’ll still start feeling more confident.

We weren’t born with the knowledge of car tire changing mechanics, insurance, cooking or tidying up. We had to learn them as we grew up. It’s perfectly alright to not know how to do something. The beauty of living in today’s world is that the answer to nearly every question is one google search away.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi :) i hear you give advice and i very much need some. I’m 15 and I live in a pretty (very) conservative christian area.

My older sibling is 19, and came out as trans to me like a year ago. Ngl I didn’t really know what that meant, cause we don’t learn about that stuff (except for your classic, anything that isn’t “normal” is wrong). But he just told me that he’s happier with he/him and with his new name. But he hasn’t told our parents yet, so I have to use the old stuff in front of them when he comes back for visits (he’s as uni) which feels gross cause I know he feels uncomfortable but it’s fine. 

I sort of thought the he/him thing would be weird, since that’s not how i’ve addressed him my whole life, but after a couple of months it was actually super easy. We call each other like twice a week, and I was worried we’d drifted apart after he told me but actually were closer than ever, I feel like I know him a lot better now. 

Oh but his old name, the one parents gave him, SUCKS. And now I can’t mock him for it cause he picked a new one, which seems unfair to me but I can come up with new material, i’m creative.

Anyway, he told me that he’s been saving up and he’s gonna get top surgery. He’s had a pretty good job since  school so I guess he’s been saving since then. I hear it’s expensive. 

But it made him decide to tell our parents. So when he came up and visited, just before he left, he told them.

That was last week. They reacted terribly, as we knew they would. And they’ve both been yelling about it a bunch. Saying stuff like “He (okay no they’re actually using she but I won’t be doing that even in writing cause it feels wrong cause it’s my brother) is totally insane” or “He needs therapy, we failed him.” or “How dare *old name* do this” or “he’s delusional” and a bunch of other awful shit like that.

So I have two options. I can try and encourage them to do little things like use he/him for my brother. Or call him their son instead of daughter. Or actually look at photos of him now (he very much doesn’t look like a girl anymore- idk how they didn’t realise tbh). Or how he always did little things like cutting his hair and hating dresses and other stuff like that.

I’ve often been able to help my parents be nicer about stuff. Like my friend who’s a lesbian, they hated her at first but now they’re nicer about it.

But maybe if I do that they’ll start yelling about corrupting me (as they’ve done in the past) and harass my brother worse and be even worse about it all. 

It’s hard to know which direction it’ll go.

And look I still don’t really get it. But also it makes sense, you know? It’s like the final puzzle piece being slotted in, all those things he used to do make sense now. 

My parents say I can’t interact with lgbtq+ stuff cause they’ll corrupt me. But like- not to be rude but, aren’t they corrupting me? My brother HAPPY. I don’t see how that’s wrong. And they’re the ones telling me I should be actively encouraging him to be- what, sad again? Uncomfortable in himself. 

I don’t know, i’m not totally sure I understand my parents or my brother. I got tumblr in the first place since it’s the only thing I could think of that’s online (so I could hide it) and probably has lgbtq+ people on it so I could- idk get used to it I guess. 

And now i’m here. 

When it comes down to it, I want my brother to be happy, and if he’s happier as my brother than my sister then I don’t see why I should care about him switching pronouns or whatever. 

So I want to try and help my parents see it like that too. And they often do see new sides to things when I point them out. So maybe id be helping.

But there’s also the chance they’d get more mad at my brother for corrupting me and that’d make him upset and that’s not what I want. 

So yeah, any advice? 

It’s kinda scary coming from my small town onto the giant internet of people i’ve been taught are weird. But you guys don’t seem that weird. I mean- you do but weird like i’m weird, not weird like ill. (Sorry if any of this seems rude btw, I might not get it but i’m trying really hard not to judge anyone, since it’s pretty clear to me that some of the things i’ve been taught aren’t correct). 

Also why do my parents think my brothers ill anyway? I know him, i’d know if he’s ill. Also i love history, and trans people are all over history. I mean they’re never said to be trans but watching my brother, it’s pretty obvious other people were like him. 

Anyway, thanks and have a good summer 💖

Hi hon!

I want to tell you, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and you're an amazing support to your brother. You should be so proud of yourself.

I think you need to think about what is best for you and your mental health. If speaking up to your parents about your brother could end in them getting mad at you, it might not be a good idea. You've been doing amazing at supporting him while staying quiet, and I know he knows you support him. It might be best for yout o quietly educate yourself online without making a fuss, until you aren't relying on your parents as much for money, food, and shelter- kind of like your brother did.

This also might be a good thing to talk to your brother about, too. Like you said, this could affect him, and he probably knows your parents well. He might have some good advice <3 But you don't HAVE to stand up to them if it's not good for you. It's okay to educate yourself, and be an ally in other ways <3

Naming you history anon <3

(also wish your brother luck on his top surgery for me!)

[harryforvogue]

i’d DIE for the hurt/comfort trope would you pleaseee feed us some yasmine and harry hurt comfort?? like it’s even easier than for other couples because poor yasmine is hurting 80% of the time 😭😭 if you don’t wanna do it for them because it’s too obvious save the idea for another couples night please!!!

Harry eyes Yasmine holding her fork with a death grip. Normally, he’d laugh about it and ask her what's wrong, but by the way she refuses to take her eyes off her food, he thinks it’s a little more serious than that. Best not to make a joke about her wanting to kill him.

So he puts his own utensils down and waits for her to say something herself. It takes some time, but when it happens, it happens very quickly. One second Yasmine’s cutting into the steak Harry’s prepared for her, and the next, her knife and fork are clattering on the plate and she’s pressing her hands into her eyes, her shoulders shaking. "Fuck!" she whispers.

Harry immediately stands and rounds the table to get to her. “Hey.” He sits beside her, cradling her head. “Yasmine. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

She cries softly as Harry pulls her into an embrace. Despite her moodiness and frustration, it’s rare to actually see her cry. And if she does end up crying it’s out of pain. That is something Harry can handle – it’s fixable. This? This is still new territory.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, kissing her hair. “Whatever it is. We’ll do something about it.”

When she finally starts mumbling what’s bothering her, it takes him a while to piece everything together. He understands that she’s upset at herself for canceling a dinner with her friends and that it’s not the first time. And because she’s done it so many times, she thinks her friend hates her. It’s also that friend’s birthday, which makes it all the worse.

He holds her tighter, bringing his chair so close, she’s practically in his lap. “It’s not your fault,” he murmurs, resting his cheek on her head. “Oh, Yasmine. You can’t control that.”

“It’s just that she always reschedules the dinner for a weekday. If she did it on a weekend, I’d have enough time to feel better between therapy and all, but first she chose a Wednesday.” Yasmine suddenly raises her head. Harry’s heart breaks at the sight of her red eyes. “Wednesday! I need Wednesday to relax! I already hate going to work Wednesday morning, you know?”

“Yes, baby, I know,” Harry murmurs. He runs the heels of his palms over her eyes. She sniffles. "Take a breath, please."

“And then she picked Tuesday. Which is when I go to therapy.”

“Yes.”

“And then last Friday but…” she trails off.

“You went out with me that night,” he recalls.

“And she probably thinks I hate her. And this is how I lost all my other friends. I never saw them. And all my excuses were so stupid and I didn’t want to tell them what was really happening because then people treat me differently and you know I hate when people do that.”

“I know.” He cups her face, tilting it upwards. He presses a few kisses to her cheek. “But, Yasmine, like I said, this isn’t something you can control.”

“I can control it if I take like 5 Advils before I go out.”

“Which I don’t want you to do.”

“I don’t want to either but now it’s been three weeks since her birthday and I haven’t seen her and I’ve only given her excuses, and–”

Harry shakes his head. “That’s okay. You come first.”

“It’s her birthday!” Yasmine argues, tears spilling down her face again. Harry never sees her like this. It’s so difficult to look at her face. “She comes first!”

“I understand it’s her birthday,” he soothes. “But I’m also sure she wouldn’t like it if you had to leave the dinner early because you weren’t feeling well. Wouldn’t it be worse that way?”

Yasmine’s brown eyes remain glossy and utterly devastated. Her eyelashes stick to each other. “If she reschedules, Harry, I don’t think she’ll invite me.”

“Then that’s completely on her.”

She doesn't say anything, letting Harry pull her back into his chest. She wraps her arms around him and cries softly into his shoulder, Harry’s hand rubbing her back gently. 

“I hate it so much,” she says between breaths. “I hate this. I hate it all. I want to be normal and have friends again. I don't want to hurt anymore."

Harry’s jaw tightens and he closes his eyes, fearing they’ll begin to tear up as well. Her voice breaks, long hair unraveling from her usual bun, sticking to her face. He holds her tight as if he’s the glue keeping her together from breaking. She trembles in his arms, and Harry decides that he hates this feeling the most in the world. It’s as if he’s being torn apart from the inside, a brief twinge in his chest.

“Yasmine,” he whispers, pushing her hair off her face. “It won’t always be like this.” He forces himself to look down at her wet face. “Just this morning you were telling me about how much stronger you feel. How usually you get tired by 4, but recently you’ve been making it until 6. That’s progress.”

“I can’t wait for it to get better,” she says, a desperate whimper emerging from her throat. “It’s been years. I can’t take more years of this. Harry. Before you…before you it was so–” She balls her hands into fists. “I can’t do that again.”

“You can,” Harry says. He wipes her face again, his entire palm drenches with the residue. “And when you look back, you’ll see how brave you were. How strong. I tell you all the time, don’t I? You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met.” He gives her a small shake. “I can only dream of being half as strong as you.”

To his horror, Yasmine only cries harder, hiding her face again. He swears under his breath and holds her wrists, trying to see her face again.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to–! Fuck!” He pulls her back into a hug. “I’m the worst at this. I’m sorry!”

Yasmine only shakes her head, throwing her arms around his shoulders. “I love you,” she says into his neck. “And I hate you for that.”

“For what?” He clutches her so tight, she squeaks. “For loving you so bad? Unfortunately I can’t regret that. You’ll have to suffer for it, it seems.”

“For making me cry again!”

“I was trying to comfort you!”

“You did!” She sniffles, taking several deep breaths to calm herself down. Harry could stay here for days, just holding her – minus the crying of course. He could do the rest of his life without seeing a single tear shed by his baby. He wants her to laugh at him. He’ll happily take her brooding over this. He’ll even take her anger. Anything over this.

So to fix it, Harry does the only thing he knows that will make her stop crying. He dramatically clears his throat. “I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new–”

Yasmine groans, melting into his chest. “Please no.”

Their dinner has gone cold. Harry reaches for her plate, about to tell her that he’ll go reheat it for her.

Her phone on the table suddenly begins to ring. Slowly, she unwinds herself from around Harry and reaches for her phone. She returns back to him, crawling into his lap. He loves her weight on him.

“It’s her,” she whispers, panic in her eyes. “Should I pick up?”

“Yes.” Harry tucks her hair behind her ear. “Let’s hear her out.”

Yasmine nods several times, swallowing. “Yeah. Yeah. Okay.” She answers it, putting it on speaker. “Hi.”

Yasmine’s friend says, “Hi Yas! Good news. I was able to reschedule the dinner plans without being charged so how’s Friday for you? I thought before I made the new reservation that I should ask you.”

Yasmine glances up at Harry. “This Friday?”

“Yup!”

Harry smiles encouragingly and nods. He takes her hand and kisses her palm.

“Give me one second, I’m going to check my schedule.” She scrambles to put the phone on hold. Harry raises his eyebrows mid kiss.

“We made a plan to go out with your family on Friday,” Yasmine whispers, worrying her lower lip. “I can’t go to this dinner. I’d rather–”

“Baby,” Harry laughs softly, holding her chin. “Tell the bloody woman you’ll come.”

“But I promised you–”

“It doesn’t matter. I see you every day and I can’t take you away from your friends.” He runs his knuckles over her cheek. “Go on. It’s okay.”

“Will you be upset with me?”

“Not even in the slightest.”

“Will your parents?”

“No, baby, they’ll be fine.”

She swallows. Then nods. Takes a few breaths. “Hi,” she says when she unmutes the call, “that sounds great. I promise I’ll be there.”

“Great!” her friend chirps. “And hey. You can talk to me about anything, you know?”

Tears form in Yasmine’s eyes again. She pulls the phone away from her to sniffle. “Yeah.”

“I’m just assuming you’re going through something, and I want you to know that even if I can’t help you, I’ll always listen.”

Yasmine’s lower lip begins to wobble again. “Thank you.”

Harry leans in and kisses the corner of her mouth. She then softly says goodbye and ends the call. She shifts her head down and kisses Harry properly. His lips are warm, his kiss the sweetest it can be, and his arms are around her, making her the safest person in the world.

“Thank you,” she whispers against his mouth. The tears slide down her cheeks. “Thank you so much.”

Harry doesn’t have it in him to tell her off for thanking him. Instead, he lets the love he feels for her take over, and he brings her back for another kiss.

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

warnings: swearing, Vietnam War, ableism

AN: I'm going to try to write post-war Dan. Please please please let me know if I do something wrong and how I can do this better. If I screw this up, LET ME KNOW. I want to do this right and can't do that unless someone lets me know I fucked up and what I can do better.

When I had gotten the letter that Dan was coming home, I had been ecstatic. They hadn't told me what happened to him or why he was getting a medical discharge. It honestly didn't matter that much to me since he had been preparing me to move on when I got the letter. The letter that was supposed to tell me he had been killed in action. Instead I got a letter that said he was wounded in action and would be at the evac hospital in Saigon before coming home. He had written me one letter, letting me know that he wasn't the same man who had gone off to war and if I wasn't there to meet him he would understand. As I scanned the men getting off the plane, I couldn't help but think how wrong he was.

"Yeah yeah yeah." I turned when I heard Dan's voice to see him waving off a flight attendant who was saluting him. "You can go now. Thanks."

"We're supposed to wait with you for whoever..." the attendant tried again.

“ain’t nobody coming for me. I’m fine on my own.” Dan cut them off. He angrily glared at the attendant until they left. That was when I realized he was in a wheelchair. Dan had reached down to wheel himself away when he looked up. I smiled at him and waved.

“hi Dan.” I said. He stared at me in shock.

“(Y/N).” He breathed out. Dan settled his hands in his lap as I walked over. I sat down next to him and reached over to take his hand. He pulled them out of my reach and I nodded. “You…you shouldn’t have come. I told you…”

“you weren’t the same man that had left. Yeah I know that.” I finished. “You also gave me a choice. You said if I wasn’t here you’d understand. But I am here. I’m not leaving you. You’re still Dan Taylor to me.” Dan frowned at me before slowly reaching over and taking my hand.

“The dumbass fucked with my destiny.” Dan muttered. He wouldn’t meet my eye and I frowned. “Private Gump. Long story.” He shook his head and squeezed my hand. “I am glad you’re here. I just…”

“yeah. I get it.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “But let’s get out of here yeah?” Dan nodded as he gave me a small smile. “Is it alright if I…?” I trailed off and motioned to the wheelchair. Dan sighed and nodded.

“Yeah.” He muttered. “I’ll figure it out eventually but go ahead. It’ll be faster anyway. Getting onto and off the plane…”

“if it’s going to piss me off, don’t.” I said. Dan looked at me over his shoulder as I started to push him through the airport.

“Huh.” He huffed and turned back around. “Anyway… I have physical therapy at the VA in a couple days. Would you…”

“I can drive you there if you want.” I said. “You’ll have to get me directions though. I didn’t even know there was one close by.”

“Neither did I.” Dan said. “I shouldn’t…” someone cut in front of us and turned to flip Dan off as he tripped. I flipped him back off at the same time Dan did. “Can’t you see I’m walking here?” Dan scoffed. “Asshole.”

“I swear people get worse and worse all the time.” I muttered, realizing this was going to become common place. I would be damned if Dan got used to it. “So this private Gump, why are you so pissed off at him?”

“you mean aside from saving my life?” Dan shot back. I gently pushed his head and he turned to look at me in surprise. “Alright. Alright. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s a good kid. He was just going what his friend was telling him to do anyway. Run away.” Dan paused for a second. “And trying not to be separated from the other private he came in with. He kept going to back to find him and…” Dan hung his head. “Gump found everyone else and private blue last. He’s too good a person to leave anyone to die.”

“I’ll have to thank this private Gump.” I said. Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss to the top of Dan’s head. “He got you back to me.” Dan reached up and squeezed my hand.

“Maybe one day.” Dan assured me. “I already know you’ll get along with him. Probably too well.”

“You going to be alright outside while I go get the car?” I asked Dan as we grabbed his bag.

“yeah.” Dan said, pulling the bag into his lap. “You know me, I can give anyone a piece of my mind.” I nodded and got him situated by the entrance while I went to grab the car.

“I’ll be right back.” I promised and kissed his cheek. Dan cupped my cheek before smiling at me.

“thank you.” He whispered, drawing my lips to his. I hummed against his lips and pulled back. I smiled at him before running off to grab the car. When I pulled back up, Dan was screaming at a random guy who was standing awful close to him.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Blocking the fucking door!” The guy yelled. Dan flipped him off.

“fuck you asshole!” Dan yelled back. “Not like I’ve got much space to move for your sorry ass.” I raised an eyebrow and got out of the car.

“then let someone move you! Instead of screaming at them!” Dan made as if he was going to lunge at the guy. He jumped back and dan started laughing.

“I’m a fucking vet fuckwad.” Dan growled. “If you or anyone else touches me or this car, then you have to fuck with me.” I stepped up and put a hand on dans shoulder.

“and me.” I added. The guy looked up at me.

“You gonna let him talk to me like that?” He asked. I nodded.

“yeah. I am. Like he said. He’s a veteran. Just got back in country.” I said with a shrug. “He has a right to stand up for himself. In fact he fought for that right. So I’m gonna let him do that.”

“stand up.” The guy laughed. “That’s rich.” My face fell and I looked at Dan. He motioned towards the guy with both hands.

“I’ve been dealing with this since you left.” He explained. I nodded.

“I mean I knew people were gonna be assholes but I mean…” I shook my head.

“Hey he’s the asshole. Vietnamese raping, baby killer. You deserve…” he didn’t finish his sentence when I hit him.

“shut your fucking mouth.” I hissed. “You have no idea what’s going on over there. So keep your fucking mouth shut.” The guy held his cheek and there was a cheer that went up. I blushed as I turned back towards Dan. “Uh…” I looked around and smiled nervously. “Wanna go before the cops show up?” Dan nodded with a laugh.

“yeah.” He said. “Let’s go you little spitfire.” I blushed deeper as I pushed him to the car and stood back while he got himself into the passenger seat. I folded up his chair and put it in the trunk before getting in and driving off.

[tanzalatazaa]

English isn't my first language, so there are probably mistakes. I didn't proofread it before uploading it, so any constructive criticism is welcome.

My angel

Bakugou’s vision blurs, everything happened so fast. From one moment to another he wasn’t standing anymore. As his eyes slowly close, he can see lights in the distance. He can hear screams, and battle sounds. Lying on the ground in silence, he tries to keep his eyes open. All he can remember is that they were fighting some villains, then suddenly his head hit hard on a wall, and now he is on there trying not to faint. 

The world becomes slow through his vision, his head hurts, and he thinks that maybe closing his eyes for a couple of seconds wouldn’t be that bad, right? but, as soon as he does it a face appears in his mind.

Akira.

Bakugou opens his eyes as fast as his injured body lets him, he scans the place. He has to find her, that's all he can think about. Everything is chaotic, there are a lot of heroes fighting almost the same amount of villains. There’s fire, and buildings collapsing. He needs to find her, he tries to stand up but he fails. Bakugou curses at his body for not responding, and tries again, falling again. He would’ve cried out of frustration if he weren’t to focus on trying to find Akira. 

Katsuki drags along the ground, seeing some dead bodies. This attack was huge, unpredictable. Since The War he hasn’t seen something like this. In one moment he was patrolling with his pro hero girlfriend, and in the other they splitted fighting a lot of villains. 

Bakugou realizes that has been staring at the bodies, and his stomach feels sick. The mere thought of Akira ending up like them, makes his whole body sick. He continues dragging, looking for her, he can’t stop, not until he finds her. He prays for his body to react, and it finally responds, now that he’s standing, he can look faster. His head still hurts, but he doesn’t care, not when he doesn’t know where the love of his life is.

‘She’s dead’

That voice. It has been a long time since Bakugou haven’t heard that voice. He started therapy a couple months ago, after Akira practically begged him for it, saying that it would help him through his anxiety disorders, and damn she was right, like she always is. What would he do without her? he thinks.

‘Akira’s dead, and that’s your fucking fault’

That voice again. He tries to fight it. He just can’t break down, not now. He wants to move, but he can’t.

‘With such a fucking useless number one pro hero, no wonder why she’s dead’ 

Bakugou repeats to himself that she is not dead, trying to calm himself. He can't breathe, he can’t shut that damn voice.

‘You can’t save everyone, and you certainly can’t save her, you useless piece of shit’

Bakugou wants to scream his lungs out. He wants, no, he needs to shut this fucking voice down, but he can’t.

‘Akira didn’t deserve to be stuck with someone like you. Someone so fucking coward that waited years until finally grow a pair of balls to confess his love’ 

He hates that everything it says is true. Bakugou did love her from highschool, but never had the guts to tell her. He even moved away just to not face her, to not face the sour reality that he never felt good enough for her. So he ignored her, just waiting for that feeling to go away, but it never did, indeed it only increased by seeing her a the news as a hero prodigy. Every night he tortured himself for being a coward when it came to love, when it came to her.

‘Akira could perfectly get whoever she wants kissing her feets, but she fell for a stupid asshole who doesn’t know how to love, who doesn’t know how to walk either apparently’ 

Bakugou is trying to breathe through his nose, but the intense sobs that are leaving his body don’t let him. 

‘You are broken, and nobody should love broken things, right?’

His entire body is shaking and he can barely feel his face. Katsuki wants to stop that, but he can’t, he’s a prisoner of his own body, his own mind. He knows that he needs to keep looking, he has to find her, he needs to calm down, but why can't he?

‘You break Akira’s heart when you left her, just saying that your dream of becoming number one hero was more important, liar, you were so fucking scared to get hurt, that you hurted her instead’

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you” Bakugo mumbles to himself, hitting hard on his chest with his fist, hurting himself.

‘You shouldn’t have come back, you just should’ve left her fall for someone else, someone better. Because she deserves to be happy, unlike you’

Bakugou wants to refute that, but he simply can’t, he knows that it’s right, he’s been knowing it for a long time. He feels like dying as he collapses on the ground, crying like a baby. Those words were getting into his head. Maybe they were right, maybe he was just a piece of shit that deserved nothing. 

Katsuki can’t stop thinking about that night, three years ago. The night he called her after four years of no contact. Bakugou remembers the week prior like if it would've been yesterday, he was at his lowest point, utterly alone. All he could think about back then was how stupid he was in the past for letting Akira go. It was a surprise for no one that he was so in love with his best friend, that everyone was shocked when Bakugou left the city without confessing, and just pushing you away. Even ignoring her calls, until he finally answered, just saying that he needed to focus on his career, Akira as always, understood him, she swallowed her tears and supported him, because she loved him, and if that was what he wanted, she would understand. She let him go, hoping that he would come back.

And she was right, he did. Bakugou was alone, yeah, he had Kirishima and Denki, but they each had their own lives, they talked from time to time, but that didn't take away from the fact that he was alone. And he knew he could blame no one but himself for that. The morning before his call, was the morning he climbed the hero rankings, he was finally the number one hero, his life's dream was coming true, but he couldn't feel more miserable. He was the number one hero, but what good is it if he has no one to celebrate with?. If the only person that he wanted a praise from was in another city, and he pushed her away until they no longer talked for years. And just then he realized that pushing her away from his life to focus on becoming number one pro hero was stupid, because without her, that title meant nothing. 

After hours of overthinking any possible way this would end up, he finally called at night. He didn’t know what to say, in fact he never thought that Akira would answer, all he wanted was to hear her recorded voice asking to leave a voicemail. Just hearing her voice would’ve made him less miserable. So when he heard a soft “Hey Bakugou” he couldn’t stop himself from crying, silent tears rolling down his cheeks “You did it, I knew you would. Congrats number one hero” On the other line Akira could only hear soft sobs.

She knew she was in love with him back in highschool, and she knew he loved her back.  She knew him like the palm of her hand, so she knew he would need time. When Bakugou left with no warning, she was heart broken, she tried to reach him, and after she did, and heard his response, she knew she was right. Bakugou was scared, he has always been a stubborn boy, she knew he had to figure thighs out in his mind alone. So she decided to wait for him, she always knew she would wait as long as it would take, she never mind it though. She loved him and only him, and she knew it was the same for him, he just needed time. 

So when she saw his call, Akira almost cried out of excitement. She saw the ranking in the morning, and she couldn’t feel more proud of him, but deep down, she wished she could’ve been able to celebrate with him. That’s why she answered her phone right away, and praised him. Her heart ached for him as she heard him crying alone. Her mouth, running on its own, started to say everything she wanted for years. “I’ve been waiting for this call for years” Bakugou tried to say something, but he couldn’t stop crying, he didn’t know how much he needed that, until that moment “I know Bakugou, I’ve always known” She said, knowing what he wanted to say “Just come back home. You have a place in my agency, I mean I’m not the number one hero, but you are always welcome here. I love you Bakugou, just come back, come back to me. We can talk here” When Bakugou could finally stop himself from crying all he could say was a soft “Thank you”.

He took the first flight back home, back to her. Their relationship continued just where it stopped four years before. After a few months they started dating, and everything was coming up together where it was always meant to be. 

‘Akira gave you a space in her life, just as nothing happened, after four years. She forged right away, no hesitation. But you still don’t, deep down you know you never deserved how well she treated you when you came back’

Laying on the ground Bakugou cries, all the insecurities he had been trying to avoid are haunting him. A part of him doesn’t want to fight anymore, doesn’t want to be a burden, and just for a couple of seconds he thinks that maybe everything would be better if he wasn’t

alive. He thinks that Akira’s life would be better if he’s not there. But the other wants to keep fighting, fighting for his life, fighting for akira.

Both sides of his head are fighting against each other. Bakugou closes his eyes, and he can almost see each side running against each other as if they were wrecked trains with no brakes going at full speed, about to crash to see which one survives. His chest aches, and a known voice gets into his mind “I love you Bakugou, just come back, come back to me” A only thick tear rolls down his left eye.

It is at that moment that he realizes he is not ready to die,  in fact he doesn’t even want to, not now. Please, somebody get him out of this train wreck, somebody help him! Today more than ever he is aware that he is not the best, that he is just a failure, but he still has a home here, he has Akira. After so many years and so many obstacles they are finally together.

Bakugou opens his eyes quickly, gripped by terror, feeling more and more trapped between the ropes, in his mind, that force him to fall. He gasps in despair, feeling as if he were on the edge of a precipice, completely bound by chains that try to pull him down. He runs, screams and struggles until his arms run out of strength, until his lungs run out of air. His legs become unstable and Bakugou stumbles and falls to his knees, terrified he tries with all his might to escape, but it is too late, he has reached the edge.

And then he knows.

It is the end.

But not just any end.

It's his end. 

The chains win.

He has lost.

He failed again.

Bakugou feels how he falls in slow motion to the bottom of that precipice that has none. He closes his eyes waiting for that impact that never comes, instead a dazzling light is present bringing him back to reality. Katsuki opens his eyes and sees her.

Akira.

She is there in front of him. He opens and closes his eyes frantically, no doubt it's her. From her body emanates that bright light and that does nothing but confirm to him that she is a point of light capable of illuminating even the darkest darkness. Bakugou sees her lips move, but does not understand her. He hears the sound of her voice, but cannot recognize what she says. Bakugou can only think that Akira is his angel, that bright and pure being who saves him from his demons. 

Angels are not supposed to fall, so why did he see her fall to her knees?

“Kat-suki!” She speaks while falling “Akira!” Bakugou runs to her, kneeling beside her “Akira babe, I’m here, I’m here with you” Akira drops herself into her beloved's lap. Right there is when Katsuki notices the blood gushing from his girlfriend's abdomen. 

No.

No!

NO!

He desperately pulls her to his body, holding her body between his arms and sitting her on his lap. While one spleen holds her close to his chest, the other presses into her wound. Bakugo's body trembles in terror, unable to utter a word.

“Katsuki, my sweet Katsuki” Akira smiles at him, while little tears leave her eyes “My love” She closes her eyes a few seconds. “Akira! I’m here, okay? You’re safe, you are with me” Bakugo feels the lump in his throat tighten “We’ll get out of here together”.

“After you left, I thought I lost everything, you know?” Akira opens her eyes “I was so in love with you, I think I’ve always been” Akira lifts her hand and gently caresses her boyfriend's cheek. “I had the girls, but I felt so lonely, all I wanted was you” Bakugou starts crying again “After the first time you answered my calls I was so happy, even when you ditched me” Lets out a little chuckle “Just hearing your voice was enough to make me happy”

“I waited for you for years” She settles on his chest “I always knew you would come back to me” She gives small caresses to the arm that holds her “People said that I should move one, and get over you, because you wouldn't come back. I never heard them, I believed in you. And I wasn’t wrong, because you did call, after all” She smiles as she closes her eyes disguising a moan of pain “You don’t know how happy I was that you finally called, I felt like a little kid on the candy action of a store, when I knew that the man I had always loved was coming back”

“I never told you this, but before you called I was at my lowest, wondering if life was worth living, but after you came back, you taught me what it was to feel like living and not surviving, again” Little sobs left Bakugou’s body “You were my reason to live”

“N-no” Bakugo bites the inside of his cheek, trying to control his sobs.  “You are not doing this. No!” Akira caresses Katsuki's trembling lower lip “Don’t you dare say goodbye, because I won’t let you, I refuse to” He pulls her closer to his body, putting pressure on her wound.

“Sweetheart, my baby, my love. You gave me everything any person could ask for” She ignores him, and continues between teers “I swear that you made my world so perfect. You pushed away my demons, and I don’t even know how, but you chased hell away and gave me a paradise by your side”

“Since you came back, three years ago, you made me pray” She laughs out of her own words “I’m not a believer, but you had me praying every night to any god that could exist, that everything we had didn’t finished” She smiles hiding her pain “On my knees I asked the air that if this was a dream, I never wanted to wake up. Because the love of my life was back”

“Since you came back I dreamed that all these sleepless years, waiting for something I thought impossible, would be enough for you to stay with me. I knew this love was worth it, because I am destined for you” Akira cradles Bakugo's cheeks lovingly “I knew it from the first moment I heard your voice that first day of school" She settles into her boyfriend's arm "I felt a spark, a connection. I couldn't explain it, I just felt it, I just knew. That impulsive boy would steal my heart and my every sigh" Akira looks at him with pure love 

"For a moment I saw it hard, very impossible, but I never stopped having faith. I never lost hope that you would come back to me and today I am more grateful than ever" She closes her eyes sighing for a brief moment “Akira, please. Stop, don’t do this to m-” A hard sob don’t let him continue. 

“If- if I don’t make it through the night” Her voice breaks “NO! Don’t you dare to say what you are about to say” Bakugou desperately holds her tighter as she starts sobbing “N-no, you can’t just go, no when I could finally say that I love you” The image of both of them sobbing creates a scene full of pure pain “You have to fight, for you, for me, f-for us”

“Kats” She mumbles “No, you can’t” He interrupts her “You can’t leave me alone. You promised you wound’t abandon me, you said we would be so happy together. You said it!” The sobs get intensified “I-I just can’t imagine a world without you. One where your jokes or your laughter are not ringing out. How do you expect me to see myself in a world where I won't be able to hug you? You are the light that lights my path and my reason for getting up in the mornings. P-please... don't do this to me“ Bakugou hides his face on Akira’s neck silencing his sobs there.

“Suki, don’t make it harder than it already is” She shakes as she cries “Your joy, only your joy can order the chaos of my mind" He doesn't separate from his body as he speaks "Only you are able to give light and order to my life, to give it purpose. I-I would be so lost if you left me alone."  

“Katsuki” Her voice is desperate "I-I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know that I'm tired o-of all this shit" She looks around "And I also know that you gave me the best life so if I don't make it through the night, know that you saved me in every way someone can be saved. You painted my gray days with colors and gave life to my already dead heart" She pulls him away from her body and caresses his cheek with the back of her hand.

"If today is my last day and it's my time to go, don't forget me okay?" She presses her grip on his cheek gently "Keep me in your memory" She continues caressing with her thumb on the same spot "Remember me fondly, remember our dates and our kisses, remember the little jokes and every 'I love you'" She takes a breath of air before continuing "Let me be your favorite angel from above just like you were for me down here" She kisses Bakugou's chest without much force as he denies desperately in tears.

"And r-remember that life always gets better" She nods, pressing her lips tightly together and releasing more tears "As much as it may seem like it doesn't, it always does. I've known since the day you came back to make every part of my day better, to heal every wound in my heart, to assemble every loose piece of my lost soul, you came back to brighten my gloom and rebuild each of the broken pieces that make me up. You took me in your arms, preventing me from falling into the void. You saved me, my number one hero" She takes between her hands, her boyfriend's hands and kisses them tenderly "So you can cry, but you have to promise me one thing, babe" Her tone of voice and her look harden "You have to promise me my love, that you will remain strong".

"H-how do you expect me to do that if the one who gives me strength every day is... y-you" His voice cracks. "You are the bravest and strongest person I know Katsuki, I know you can do it" Her face is looking paler and paler and a large red stain decorates her hero suit. "But I don't want to" Bakugou intensifies his grip, sobbing louder and louder, sounding almost like screams. "Kat-suki please don't leave me alone now" Her voice sounds terrified "I don't want to die, I-I don't want to die alone, I'm scared" She speaks between sobs "I-I don't understand what I did wrong. I'm a bomb that's about to explode, I never meant to hurt you. But here I am, leaving you without keeping our promise" She bites her lower lip "Please forgive me, I never wanted this. I-I wanted to grow old together with you, being happy. I hope someday you can forgive me for not being able to do that."

The sobs that burn Bakugou's throat do not allow him to speak, however, he does as she asks, he does not leave her alone. He takes her hand and intertwines his fingers with hers making them fit perfectly. He lets out a cry of pain at the sight of the promise ring he placed on her ring finger a couple of months ago. "O-our love is strong honey. There is no love without pain, so they say" He tries to smile, but only manages to grimace sadly "We have suffered enough in this life, in the next one we will keep all our promises and there we will be very happy."

"W-will you promise me?" her voice trembles. "I promise you, my love" Bakugou places a soft kiss on her lips, a few tears sneak in, though they don't mind it too much. They just let themselves be carried away by the moment, enjoying their, probably last, kiss. "This is a promise with no chance of breaking" He assures firmly "Because my love for you will never change, a life without knowing you will never be real" He takes her hand and kisses right where that silver ring is "You will always stay here" He puts her hand over his heart "D-don't you dare forget me" She starts breathing heavily "T-that could never happen. A heart that loves doesn't forget and mine loves you more than anything" Akira loses more and more strength "Look at me, look into my eyes Katsuki Bakugou" As best she can she manages to raise her hand to his face holding both cheeks "You've given me a perfect life, the best I could have had. I promise this is not goodbye, e-everything is going to be alright. I love you."

Her voice fades and her arm falls to the side. Lying in his arms Akira releases her last breath, leaving forever, and taking with her a part of Bakugou's heart. What do I say a part, taking his whole heart with her. "I-I love you" He whispers against her neck. He screams and cries as loud as he can. His throat burns and his body trembles. He hugs her with all his might, laying his head on her chest as he does every morning, only this time he doesn't hear a heartbeat, he hears nothing but his desperate cries. 

"NOOOO! NOOOO!" He throws his head back screaming into the wind "Please don't leave me!". Between spasms and sobs he screams without letting go of the lifeless body of the love of his life "COME BACK! Akira come back!" he shakes her body as if that could bring her back "WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?". He screams at that god he's been told so much about "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU!". His sobs begin to choke him "Give me back .... give me back my love, I beg you" Rivers of tears run down his eyes. For the first time he stops to look at his girlfriend's face and gently closes his eyes that were still open. Bakugou can almost hear his heart break into a thousand different pieces. With a trembling hand he caresses her cheek. He moves closer to her and deposits one last kiss, his heart breaking. He hugs her body seeking comfort, hoping to hear her voice telling him that everything will be alright, but that never happens, Akira is dead and will never come back. He will no longer hear her voice, nor kiss her lips, she will no longer fill him with kisses in the mornings when he wakes up, she is gone.

"My love wait" He hugs his body rocking it back and forth "I-I still love you" He bites his lower lip hard "Y-you have to come back, I still need you, I need your 'goodnight' kisses. I need your hugs every morning before I leave for work, I need you to say those jokes that I don't understand and I-I need...you" Bakugou breaks into tears again, letting out heartbreaking sobs that he could swear are heard all over Japan "Let me hold your hand, baby" He takes her now cold hand "I'll fix it, I swear I will. I promise I'll love you all my life, but please come back. I promise I won't get mad about silly things anymore and I'll always make your breakfast, I-I'll kiss you as many times as you want and we'll watch those stupid Christmas movies you love so much, I'll even wear those Christmas sweaters with lights if I have to. But, please come back my sweetie, I still need you here with me, I'm not ready to let you go, not when you taught me what it's like to want to live."

"I love you, I love you, I love you" Bakugou gently pushes aside a few strands of hair that fall over her face, as he kisses her forehead gently "Only a kiss of true love can make you wake up right? That's what that movie you like so much used to say -Why don't you wake up? I love you. I still love you with all my heart, so you have to come back" He shakes her expecting something that won't happen "I can't let you go, I don't want to, I'm not that strong" He whispers against her lips, between sobs. "T-tell me one last time that you love me, just one last time please" His eyes hurt from crying so much, his throat from screaming so much, but what hurts the most is his heart that withered, died leaving along with the love of his life, his soul mate.

Just as those voices said, he couldn't save Akira, she died in his arms and he couldn't do anything but cry. They were right, all he can think is that he is a useless failure who doesn't deserve to be loved or to be happy, but why did she have to pay for that? A shiver runs through his whole body, this has to be a nightmare. Akira can't be really dead. He tries to run, to escape from this bad dream, to free himself from those chains, but this time there is no light to save him.

His angel fell.