#even better if u got thoughts on ruby??? she was a whole person they all knew who died

[goatfelons]

not to over analyze a show thats meant to be silly and fun, but sometimes i think about this clip and think that it explains a lot about lacey as a person, in my opinion. that's why she wants everyone to like her.

[hansolmates]

a hero’s journey (m)

summary; jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story pairing; jungkook x editor!reader (f) genre/warnings; best friend’s boyfriend au, slice of life, angst with a happy ending because im weak, pining pINING, everyone’s kind of a mess in their own sweet special way, alcohol use, mentions of ze weed, toxic relationships, mean friends, sex—slight dom!kook, food play, fingering, squirting, heavy use of the petname “pretty girl” bc im weak, strength kink, manhandling (oop!) w.c; 22.2k a/n; woof! my first fic for @goldenclosetnetwork​ 23 | jungkook’s birthday project! this goes out to all the closet romantics *ahem me cough* who doesn’t love pining between a cutie koo? a huge thank u for vivi @eerieedits​ for making this bbbBEAUTIFUL fic banner!  

prompt used: “I should’ve known.”

if you like this fic pls consider giving a like n’share🥺💜🥺💜

It’s so easy to ignore the world. 

Maybe it’s a young-adult thing, but it gets difficult fitting into the 9-to-5 and playing to satisfy bosses that don’t entirely understand your work ethic. Maybe it’s out of complacency, or fear. But you prefer to let the world flow around you and when you’re needed, you’ll act. You’ve reached that point in your life where you enjoy the little things, satisfied by an extra hour of overtime tacked onto your paycheck, a new fabric softener, or finding the perfectly squishy yoga mat. 

You’ve finally started feeling comfortable in your shoes, uncaring as to whether you’re single or drowning in college debt, happy to live a relatively stable life. You’re grateful. There’s nothing more than you need than your happiness, and the love of your friends and family. 

Namely, your best friend from college. Jisoo always joked about how you two “won the lottery” as dorm rooms in freshman year were determined by lottery. Pulling numbers 883 and 884, you and Jisoo snagged a corner spot of the dormitory, leaving you two utterly cramped but utterly close as the years went by. Six years later and it’s still the case, the two of you have grown into talented working ladies. While you may not be able to spend time with each other the same way you did in school, you still care for each other. 

So when Jisoo shows up teary with a rumpled dress shirt and her hair waterfalling out of this morning’s bun, you break out the good alcohol and season three of Jane the Virgin for her. 

After the liquid is warm in your cheeks and you’ve fawned enough over Micheal and Rafael’s love triangle, you let Jisoo ramble. 

Jisoo has downed a whole bottle of soju on her own, while you’ve decided to have a tasteful glass of wine. You’d rather be tired wine drunk than wasted on soju. 

“Jungkook and I had a fight,” she warbles, stuffing a handful of popcorn in her mouth, ��it was totally stupid.” 

Your eyes flash, picturing Jisoo and Jungkook in quarrel. They’re the epitome of an Instagram-worthy couple, beautiful and deathly charming to a fault. They show nothing but kindness and sweetness to you whenever you third-wheel, not a lick of anger between them when you’re all together.

So a fight is something surprising. Jisoo and Jungkook, J-squared are a power couple. Saying their names next to each other just emits a sort of energy you can only akin to famous small screen couples like Troy and Gabriella or Cory and Topanga. Jisoo’s Instagram is belly full with sweet selfies of them together, the doe-eyed man always looking completely sweet and gentle to the woman in his arms.

You never piqued Jungkook as the type of guy who would pick a “stupid fight.” And you know Jungkook pretty well. 

Maybe a little too well. 

“He surprised me during my lunch break and he caught me talking to Doyoung and he thought I was flirting,” Jisoo is practically eating her sweater, her head falling between her flannel pyjama sleeves. 

“Doyoung, as in your ex Doyoung?” you raise a brow. 

She groans, glaring at you in earnest. “Not you, too! I told him it was ridiculous to get jealous, and then I told him how jealous I get when he’s around girls and I don’t need to tell him that,” she rolls her eyes, twisting her feet petulantly in her fuzzy socks, “but then you know what he says back?” 

You wince, swirling your wine glass, “That you’re crazy?” 

“That I’m crazy, exactly! How did you—” her bloodshot eyes zero in on you, where you’ve tucked yourself in the corner of the couch. You swirl the ruby liquid in your cup, watching the feet web around the cheap crystal, “you think I’m crazy too, don’t you?” 

You swallow your sigh, taking your time to finish your liquid in languid sips. Uneasy, you wish you could just sink through the couch in order to avoid this conversation. Jisoo’s heart is generally in the right direction, but in terms of emotions she has the kind of sensitivity that you prefer to ignore rather than tread. Jungkook is also equally emotional, but in a different way. He wears his heart on his sleeve, preferring to keep things straight as opposed to bottling it up like Jisoo. 

However the theoretic bottle has reached it’s brim and Jisoo’s tipping, fast. 

“I need to tell you something,” Jisoo is swerving, crawling like an infant on wobbly limbs to reach your corner of the couch. You almost stop her, tell her you can continue this conversation in the morning, it’s what you normally do when she drinks into a stupor. But tears are swimming in her glassy caramel eyes and she’s grappling onto your blanket, resting her head in her lap. 

Her glossy russet strands curtain her head, so you don’t see the expression on her face when she says her next words: 

“Jungkook told me he liked you senior year, and I told him you weren’t interested so I’d have a chance.” 

Wow. So that explains everything.

The memories that you’ve tried so hard to brush away, the feelings you’ve tried so hard and continue to try to suppress, are laid out in front of you on a rusted platter. You could laugh, you could fling the rest of the Pinot Grigio down your throat like fresh water on a hot day and call it a night. 

But instead you choke back your tears, and push her off because you’re hurt.  

Deep down you know you would’ve been less upset if she told you the week after Jisoo and Jungkook called it official. If you knew from the beginning, it would’ve been easier on your heart. But it's been over two years since the past, thinking you’ve been needlessly, stupidly, delusional in thinking that you could’ve possibly had a chance with Jungkook.

Because it could’ve been you. And the reason why Jisoo and Jungkook fought today? Now you know it’s because deep down, they know they’re each other’s second choice. 

You can’t even recall a time where Jungkook and Jisoo were together alone before they suddenly started dating, remembering how it used to be you and Jungkook before Jisoo found him one day in your shared apartment, utterly smitten. And now you know you weren’t delusional, because the feelings and the signals you two were exchanging in senior year was real. 

But it doesn’t stop the fact that over two years have passed. Two years of a serious relationship between Jisoo and Jungkook, and two years of you secretly loving him from an arm’s length. 

“You hate me,” Jisoo removes herself from you, voice trembling. The quick, dark part of your mind wants you to snap back of course I hate you. You’ve trusted Jisoo with your life all these years, she was the reason you got through college so gracefully, why you enjoyed the past seven years of your life. 

But the sentiment is stained, and all you can do is deliver a tired smile and stand up. “I don’t hate you,” you say, “I’m just, really overwhelmed. I can’t lie and say that I’m not hurt,” your fingers clutch the fake crystal in your grasp, and for once you’re thankful you’re not strong enough to break it, “but you two love each other now and there’s no point in dwelling in the ‘what-ifs’.” 

Now that you think about it, when was the last time Jisoo treated you like a best friend? You stare at your wine glass, thinking that the only time comfort is provided in this apartment is when Jisoo is upset, never when you’re upset. 

Jisoo bobs her head senselessly, agreeing to every word. It’s pathetic, seeing her on her knees and her eyes glimmering with the hope that you’d forgive her straightaway. She must feel awful. That’s good.  

You sigh, needing to be the bigger person. “You need to call Jungkook and tell him he has nothing to worry about though, after all, you two have history now. As much, if not more than Doyoung.” 

“Right,” she replies, biting her lip. It suddenly feels like you're talking to a wall, carrying a conversation that's long ended.

“As for us,” you have half a mind to slam your glass on the counter, but instead you give it a heavy hand, letting slowly thump to the coffee table, “I don’t think I want to see you two, for a while.” 

“Understandable.” 

“And I don’t want to help you move out anymore,” I just want you gone.  

“Right,” she whispers. The both of you will be completed with your lease in two months, and Jisoo and Jungkook have decided to move into Jungkook’s apartment. As for you, you haven’t decided as to whether you want to go through the whole process of moving out or looking for a new roommate. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so so fucking sorry. I just was insecure as fuck in college and Jungkook was the first person I met in a long time that helped me feel more… like me.”

You want to say that she's right, she’s selfish. Her excuses aren’t palpable anymore. It’s too late. But if you were in Jisoo’s shoes, you’d think this apology is mere crumbs in comparison to your friendship. Why isn't she trying harder? Maybe because she doesn't know any better. After all, you never told her what you felt for him has morphed into love. 

You don’t even have to ask as to whether she’ll tell Jungkook this or not, you now know honesty is not her style. 

Jisoo doesn’t get a goodnight and a drunken kiss on the forehead like she usually does whenever you two have your late night talks. Instead, she seals herself to her own demise as you slam the door to your bedroom, effectively shutting each other out. 

Work is a bitch the following morning. You’re like molasses, rolling out of bed despite the whole world and its mother telling you to go back to sleep. 

Your feet are killing you as you make your walk to work, deciding to wear a pair of red-backed heels so you can stomp your way through your day. 

Your Wusband (Work-Husband) Kim Namjoon matches you step-for-step, eyes glued to his phone as he catches you on the sidewalk. “Woman on a mission,” he comments absentmindedly, eyes glued to his phone as he follows the click of your shoes to your favorite cafe. 

You spare a glance to your right hand-man, eyeing him appreciatively at his dedication to your morning routine. He’s your favorite co-worker, one who keeps you on time to your meetings and keeps you sane when you want to pull your hair out and dig out a coffin in your little cubicle. Namjoon’s long legs always seem to catch up with you during your workweek, whether it’s to get coffee in the morning or to talk shit about the latest gossip in the breakroom. 

The bell of the glass door tinkles in your ears as you enter the café, relatively busy for the morning rush. While you wait in line, Namjoon ticks off your activity list for today. 

“Meeting with Victoria is cancelled this morning,” you groan in relief, your supervisor Victoria always scares the shit out of you even when she’s not doing anything, “and just the usual proofing and whatever we have to do on the third floor today—can I get a large iced Americano with a pump of caramel? Thanks,” Namjoon moves aside so you can throw your order in as well, “and after work could you stop by Vernon’s? He took a sick day today and he has most of the manuscripts for the next issue.” 

“Done and done,” you swipe your card in the dip, tucking your card away in your zippered pouch. ���So like, do Americanos taste any good? Like it’s literally watered down espresso how do you pay to drink watered down tar—” 

Jungkook’s at the pick-up counter. Jungkook’s at the pick-up counter swirling stray sugar crystals with his thumb and putting them in his napkin. What an impeccable display of Virgo energy, absentmindedly cleaning things he has no business doing. You scoff to yourself, recalling this morning that Jisoo got off the phone this morning with a stupid smile on her face. From the mirror image that Jungkook is excluding while he’s smiling on his cellphone like a smitten teenager, it seems like they’ve made up. 

Nevertheless the hurt from last night is still fresh in your bones, and you force yourself to look away despite the fact that your morning pick-me-ups are almost done and are sitting tauntingly next to Jungkook’s elbow. Does he really need to learn against the counter like he owns it? Hair slightly damp from the shower, your heart beats a little faster at the fresh image.His biceps are straining against his charcoal lycra long sleeve, which is slightly damp from his morning run. Snap out of it! You are a mature, working woman who does not swoon in the view of bulgy muscles, especially when the man who owns those muscles is taken. Suddenly there’s a call of your name, and two cups and a paper bag are put in front of Jungkook. 

He blinks, and you immediately pale when you see his eyes flit over your name surrounded by your favorite coral pink beverage. You feel struck as his head perks up at the name and he narrowly makes eye-contact—

“The fuck you’re doing,” Namjoon gripes, shoving your guava iced tea and croissant in your chest, “standing there like a moron as if we don’t got shit to do today.” 

“Sorry,” you mumble, pulling at the brown paper bag to tug a piece of croissant between your teeth. The warmth, buttery pastry melts in your tastebuds. Ah, bread. Nothing like a little bit of carb to make you feel better. 

You’re suddenly thankful for Namjoon’s gargantuan torso from effectively blocking you from Jungkook, hauling you out of the coffee shop like a petulant toddler. He doesn’t even give you a chance to catch another secret look at the object of your affections, making sure you’re back in your work game before you enter the building. Even if he doesn’t know it, Kim Namjoon’s always got your back. 

Or in today’s case, breathing down your back. 

Without your third editor and a hard deadline coming up by the end of the week, you and Namjoon are working in tandem throughout your 9-5 to complete drafts for Big Hit Publishings Arts & Media section. Both of you take turns to bring snacks and feed each other, feeling like reading zombies and slaves to your desk as you remind each other to breathe throughout the whole ordeal. 

In complete honesty you don’t totally mind. Namjoon is a great partner-in-crime, and you both love what you do and do a damn good job at it. You call it “Buzzfeed but with Benefits.” 

And at least for today, you could quell the feelings in your chest from last night and this morning. Sure, you’ve always been okay with the pining you’ve had for Jungkook. The feeling comes and goes whenever it pleases, and since yesterday you’ve been okay with just admiring from afar and being their third wheel. 

However, now the feelings are acutely comparable to a third-degree burn with the help of Jisoo playing with fire. 

With a quiet exhale, you concede in your gaming chair (because it’s just so damn comfy to keep in the office.) You’re an adult and not a petty child, and you will not let this piece of information derail you from your calm, stable lifestyle. 

But honestly? Fuck Jisoo. 

“Let’s go, buckaroo,” Namjoon logs off for you, the cinnamon-y smell of his shampoo effectively waking up your senses, “it’s already 5:30. And you said you’d stop by Vern’s to get his drafts.” 

“Right,” you blurt, mindlessly putting away your papers and snack wrappers in your bag. You can’t believe the whole day’s gone already. 

“Maybe you don’t even have to go to his apartment. Just text him or whatever.” 

“Sounds good, thanks Joonie.” 

“And y/n?” Namjoon gives you a look that causes you to force a terse smile, one you give one too many times to higher-ups at work. It isn’t to insult Namjoon by any means, but you guys are partners, the kind that tell way too much but hide just enough to remain close from afar. “Take it easy, will you?” 

“I will,” you concede, stretching your arms, “I’m def overdue for a massage.” 

“You don’t look sick,” you scoff, taking in the casual look your co-editor boasts as he leans casually against the doorway. 

Hansol Vernon Chwe is the epitome of fluffy, decked out in large electric blue sweats and his russet brown hair curling softly above his porcelain skin. Not only is he your co-editor, but also a friend from college. Not to the extent that you were with Jisoo and Jungkook, but you operated in the same publishing club and managed to get partnering internships that made you the co-workers you are today. You see a little bit of that collegiate youth in Vernon right now, as he looks well-rested and fresh faced despite the fact he probably didn’t apply moisturizer or drink enough water today.

“But you kinda do,” he tilts his head, noting the heels that adorn your feet, “you’re wearing your sexy shoes today, that means something’s going on.” 

“Gee, ever the ladies’ man,” you scoff, getting under his arm to invite yourself inside, “all I want is the completed interviews so we can pick out the best parts and draft them. Then I’ll be on my merry way.” 

“Oh c’mon, we’ve been talking nothing but work this whole damn month. What happened to college when we’d talk hours about House Hunters, the safeness of library sex, that little furry thing in Lincoln Hall’s urinal? That was prime conversation.” 

“Vern, I’m just here for the drafts,” you sit at his tiny kitchen table, glaring at his open laptop.  

“You could’ve just emailed me,” he teases, twisting around his chair so he can rest his arms against the back. “But since you’re here, that means you probably wanna spill some tea but you’re too upset to admit it.” 

“If I talk will you stop talking like that?” 

“Yes. Give me the juicy details. Need some juicy juice.” 

“Nevermind, get out of my apartment.” 

“Uh, this is my apartment.” 

“My point still stands,” you make another face at his outfit, “you look like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.”  

Vernon purses his lips, scooting his chair closer to yours. He’s unfazed by your insult, far used to your defenses being higher up than Fort Knox. He looks up at you with his pretty lashes and deceivingly sweet caramel eyes, leaning his head along the backrest. “C’mon, tell me what’s bothering you,” he says in a gentle tone, coaxing you open. 

He always knew how to do it for you, a little bit of sweet talking and that clear open gaze always reduced you to shreds in university. For him, it always took a good meal and some sci-fi movies to get him to talk. That must be why you’ve stayed friends for so long, you two knew how to connect. 

Finally you crack, kicking off your shoes and hoping the sharp end doesn’t land on his cat. You hear Luna meow in protest but she’s got great reflexes. Unbuttoning the first three buttons of your stuffy blazer, you air out your cleavage, not caring about Vernon’s gaze. He’s seen worse. 

“Remember Jeon Jungkook? Majored in graphic design.”

“Ah, yeah. The guy who like, lived at the gym and the dining hall? Haven’t seen him in a minute,” his eyes seem to glaze over the glory days, reminiscing in the simultaneous safetynet and stressor that made up your early twenties, “didn’t you guys hit it off real well? Like I remember you ditched like—three sci-fi nights to study with him. Who even studies at 1AM?” 

“Yeah, we did,” and you can’t help but frown at as you remember the 7-Eleven runs, the utter warmth you felt when he would wipe a stray rice grain off your cheek, and how happy you felt to laugh so much with him it hurt, “but uh. Jisoo got drunk last night, because they had a fight. And she sort of admitted to me that she sabotaged our relationship and told Jungkook I wasn’t interested in him so they could start dating. Two years later and here we are.” 

A pause. And then, “Want a beer?” 

Vernon doesn’t even wait for a response when he gets up, bare feet slapping against the tile as he prepares some drinks and snacks for you. 

“That’s pretty fucked up,” he practically sing-songs among the cacophony of popcorn pop-pop-popping in the microwave. The aroma of buttery kernels is all but a relief, reminding you of movie matinees, “and like, she knew you liked him! It was totally obvious, even if you didn’t spell it out for her.” 

“Yeah,” you practically gushed to Jisoo those past two months, every waking moment with heart-eyes over the talented graphic designer Jeon Jungkook. 

“I can’t believe Jisoo would keep that a secret from you for so long. Like, can you even trust her anymore?” 

“Don’t know, was she even my bestfriend or was I just a good roommate to her?” you ask. Vernon is holding two beers in one hand and a bag of popcorn by the tips of his fingers in the other, careful to not burn himself. Opening the beer for you, you thank him and take a long swig.

“Well, good thing you’re still not in love with him or whatever. That would really suck. Unless—”

The look on your face says it all. You’re practically snotting into your bottle, your face tucked into your chin as you fight hard to stop the tears you’ve been suppressing for the last two years. “Don’t give me your pity,” you garble, turning away from the sad look Vernon gives you as he wraps his arms around you. 

The tears are soft and gentle, flowing freely onto the cotton of Vernon’s arms as you let it out. 

“‘M’not,” he concedes, rubbing his chin into your neck. He really is a lot like Luna, just like his  cat ready to give you affection. “Let’s just, get some take-out and watch Hamilton or something.” 

He lets you wear his matching sweat suit, lime green, as you order Thai food and rap along to Hamilton’s sick beats. Vernon does a better job keeping the flow, but you’re having a good time being his hype man as he parades around the living room like it’s 1776. 

You go home that night around ten o’clock, feeling noticeably lighter and more relaxed. Be that it may you are still wearing the sweatpants and heels ensemble, you feel comforted. 

The apartment is quiet when you walk in, not a single light turned on. You get a slice of the city lights bleeding in from the organza curtains, which allow you to kick off your heels and hobble to where you think the kitchen counter is. 

Today is Jisoo’s day to cook dinner. You can tell she decided to cook today from the faint smell of Japanese curry and a small unwashed plate in the sink. Whenever it was someone’s turn, they usually left an extra bowl or serving in it for the other roommate when they got home. Unsurprisingly, you find no such thing on the counter or in the fridge. 

You’re not upset, but rather decided. If Jisoo is going to let your friendship fade off with no intention of redeeming herself, then you should give her the same amount of energy back. You realize now the apology she gave last night wasn’t for you, but empty words to make her feel better and mend whatever toxicity she’s created in her own relationships. People like Namjoon and Vernon reminded you that you didn’t need to try and earn other people’s friendships. 

It’s disappointing, but the feeling is all but too familiar. 

If you could describe Jisoo as anything, it would be the color pink. Blushing, beautiful, beguiling pink. The way she flushes when Jungkook does an uncalled for grandiose gesture of romance, or when she wears a hot magenta number when she’s hosting a fashion show. Jisoo is the personification of La vie en rose, unbothered and unabashed.  

But now all you see when you think of Jisoo? Nothing but red. 

With that, you go in your room and untack the polaroid of you and Jisoo at the carnival last month, putting it away in your junk drawer to be forgotten. 

“You’re running away.” 

“Am not.” 

“Are too,” that interjection comes from Vernon’s roommate, Jung Hoseok. He’s been watching you two bicker over work for the past hour while he plays GTA5, failing to get a good hard carry because you and Vernon are too busy discussing whatever finishing touches you need on your final draft. 

“No one asked for your opinion, Jung,” you throw over your shoulder. 

“I’m just saying,” Hoseok flicks his wrist and nabs a tank, “you never wanna go home, you eat all our food, and I found your pyjamas in my laundry basket.” 

“You said your basket was the blue one,” you hiss under your breath. 

“The navy blue one,” Vernon chirps unhelpfully, “not the electric blue one.” 

Hoseok hits “save” on his campaign, disconnecting from his PS4 and stretching his lean limbs. “I mean, we could use a third roommate,” Hoseok jokes, getting up from the couch and grabbing a handful of M&Ms from your bowl, “you do make a bomb mac n’cheese.” 

“Appreciated,” you relent when Hoseok presses a kiss to your cheek and tells Vernon he’ll be back late working, leaving you and Vernon alone in their shared apartment. When Hoseok is gone, you stare at the door, tilting your head, “y’know,” you remark, “Hoseok’s a cool guy, why did I never hang out with him in college?” 

“Because he was stoned the majority of senior year and you just didn’t vibe with that crowd.” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

“But, you’re trying to change the subject,” Vernon carefully untacks your hands from your keyboard, knowing that you two have already been done with this month's issue and you’re now just mindlessly re-reading emails. “You’ve been here since Thursday, and now it’s Saturday. And as much as Hoseok and I like having you around so you can wake me up before we go to work, it’d be nice to throw me a bone and let me in on what you’re thinking right now.” 

You frown, noting Vernon’s large hand covering your laptop closed. He isn’t going to remove his hand anytime soon unless you talk. “Jungkook’s helping Jisoo pack up her half of the apartment this weekend and I don’t want to be there,” you say, short and simple. 

“You miss her?” 

“Yeah,” you admit honestly. You hate this version of yourself, unable to even look at Jisoo nowadays despite the fact you’re under the same roof for the remainder of the month. It’s hard to believe that the roommate from six years ago finally got under your skin, cancelling out all the years of friendship because of one silly relationship, “sad she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.” 

“Did you talk about it?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you reply despondently, “if she cared at all she would’ve to apologize again by now.”

Vernon figures, and his neutral expression doesn’t change as he leads you to the couch, brushing away Hoseok’s things so you two can get comfy. You busy yourself with the remote, exiting the PS4 homepage to scroll Netflix. 

“And are you trying to get over him?” 

“I mean, yeah,” you have been, but it’s a little hard when you’ve been contentedly pining. It was easy to keep your feelings bottled up because you originally thought Jisoo and Jungkook were meant to be for each other for the past two years. Now you're still pining but ruefully bitter at Jisoo.

“It’s not fair, y’know. She broke girl code, bros before hoes. Or is it chicks before dicks?” Vernon shakes his head at his lame attempt to get you to smile, which works anyway because Vernon’s silly and his sense of humor always gets you a little loose. “It’s your house too, you shouldn’t feel like you don’t belong there.” 

“Well I was supposed to help her move out this weekend, and I’d prefer it if Jungkook didn’t know what was going on.” 

“What?” your friend furrows his thick brows together, tucking his hands under his knees as he leans into your stubborn expression. “You’re gonna let Jungkook go on with his life not knowing that his relationship is based on a lie. That’s not cool. Even if you’re into him, he’s still your friend.” 

Damn, when did Vernon get so good at giving advice? Truth is Vernon’s always been good at dishing advice, you’ve just been privy to what you wanted to reveal to him. The first year or so being together outside of college was always about work, saving each other’s asses to ensure you two got that promotion and aim higher and higher. Now that goal is out of the way, and what better way to reconnect over some shoddy romance straight out of a Degrassi special? 

“I know,” you hug your knees tight to your chest, “when I’m ready, okay?” 

“Okay,” he agrees, because he’s not a pusher, “do you know the best way to get over someone?” 

“What?” 

“The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone," he emphasizes that point with his hands, sliding one under the other with a wiggle of his thick brows.

You slap him on the shoulder, “Vern, you disgust me.” 

“But it works!” 

“I’m not going on Tinder to find a fuckbuddy.” 

“You don’t have to look on Tinder or Tumble.” 

“Bumble.” 

“Whatever,” and his eyes flicker to his lap, where his pale fingertips turn red as he grips the edge of a throw pillow. "If you really don't wanna find someone, I can help." 

Is Vernon offering himself up? He is offering to fuck your brains out in the hope that you could inevitably fuck out your interest in Jungkook? Your eyes flicker over to Vernon's form on the couch, who's tucked in the couch just as you are. 

It’s true that you find Vernon attractive, and to some extent he definitely finds you attractive as well otherwise he wouldn’t have suggested the idea. It’s just that in college you never viewed him in that kind of light, probably because you were always so caught up in Jungkook. But tonight you can’t seem to ignore the eagerness hidden in Vernon’s carmine gaze, and how shiny and touchable his chocolate locks look under the setting sun. 

“I don’t want our friendship to change,” you reply slowly, furrowing your brows. “I appreciate it, but I don’t know. It sounds like a temporary fix.” 

“Can’t knock it if you don’t try it,” and out of curiosity, you don’t shy away when Vernon leans over to you, squeezing himself between the couch so he can tuck you in his arms. “I want to help you, but only if you want to.” 

Maybe it’s the frustration you feel with Jisoo, Jungkook’s ignorance, or the fact that you haven’t felt physical pleasure in such a long time, but you soften into Vernon’s hold. He’s relaxed, nothing betraying him as he waits patiently for your answer. You’ve always admired how much he kept up his “cool as a cucumber” demeanor. He isn’t the type of guy to let life pass him by, but he’s the kind of person who walks along life, embracing the ups and downs like old friends. He’s the ocean waves that crest along the shore, pushing and pulling along without a care in the world. 

He’s the textbook opposite of Jeon Jungkook, which is why you give Vernon the okay to lean in and press his lips against yours. 

His kisses are soft, and he takes great care in making sure you’re comfortable with this new step in your relationship. It almost feels as if you’re cutting corners, and you can’t help but feel a little guilty that you revel in the way Vernon’s hands trail under your too-large t-shirt. 

The pleasure you’ve ached for is there, bubbling low in the pit of your belly. It’s hard to get you out of your mind however, because this man isn’t the one you love. His kisses hold no power, only brief reprieve. Your heart doesn’t palpitate and your palms don’t sweat, you’re just languid. 

You’re greedy and selfish, but you remind yourself that it’s okay to allow yourself of these freedoms, even for a little bit. As Vernon finds your sweet spot that has you rolling your hips against his, you find that temporary fix isn’t a bad start at all. 

When you trudge back to your apartment that night after much reluctance, your face is still flushed and you think you smell a little too much like Vernon’s cologne. But the fact that still stands is that you're satiated, and you feel a tiny percent closer to moving on. 

The television is glowing with a terrible reality TV show, angry brides upset over cake layers or whatever. Jungkook and Jisoo have fallen asleep on the couch, surrounded by half-empty boxes. Jungkook has his arm lazily over Jisoo, her petite body fitting perfectly between his chest and the crook of his neck. 

You scoff when you spy Jisoo's bedazzled manicure digging into Jungkook's bicep, as if someone's going to take him away if she doesn't hold tight.

With stiff muscles you spare one look at Jungkook, ignoring the pang in your chest as you weave between boxes to turn the TV off. Barely an iota of your feelings have dissipated since your previous tryst with Vernon not an hour ago. Looking at Jungkook brings it all back, unfortunately. You suppose the feelings will pass with time. The soft hum of the television ceases, and you’re bathed in a room that feels dark and empty, despite the apparent life in the room. 

There’s some bleary talk coming from the couch as you walk to your bedroom, and if Jungkook is sleepily mumbling your name in question, you pretend you don’t hear. 

“So, where’s y/n? I thought she was going to help us pack.” 

It’s an innocent enough question, as Jungkook scans the corner of the living room hallway that leads to the bedrooms. You haven’t come out yet. He knows that you love sleeping in on the weekends, but he hopes the smell of fresh food will coax you to the table. His pan is sizzling in protest, telling Jungkook to quit talking and flip the hashbrowns. He's fried up three, in the hopes you’d be up for some crispy potatoes. He knows how much you love potatoes, especially at 2AM when you’re craving fries and a McFlurry combo. 

Instead Jisoo mutters, “You toasted too much bread, you know I don’t eat bread like this,” she’s pulling slice by slice out of the toaster, until there’s a stack of six golden toasts in the middle of the kitchen table. 

A little part of him wishes to quell the precursor to the argument there. It would be so easy for Jungkook to say, “the extras are for me” because he’s trying to gain weight, and that would be that. 

Instead he continues with his unanswered question and replies honestly, “I made extra toast for y/n, babe. She was supposed to help us pack but I haven’t seen her all weekend.” But he’s pretty sure you came home last night, unless that was his imagination. 

Jisoo pulls a caraf�� of apple juice out of the fridge, pouring the amber liquid into two glass cups. “Ah, she said she had some last minute things to do for work. Y’know, Big Hit always wants a big hit.” 

He chuckles, tilting his head as Jisoo gives him a small smile from the kitchen table. Jisoo is always good at cheesy jokes. “She must love her job, huh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Her articles are really good, too,” the air smells like butter and Italian seasoning, as he places one hash brown on Jisoo’s plate, and two on his. He knows you edit in the Arts & Media section, and loves how you make it a point to include video games and modern graphics when it’s deemed appropriate. “She did a piece on the evolution of RPG and I thought her commentary was really spot-on.” 

He brings breakfast over to the table, while Jisoo places two slices of toast on his plate, one buttered and one with strawberry preserves. Breakfast is a quiet, but peaceful affair. Jungkook takes note of how Jisoo takes extra long to complete her meal, her fork creating ribbons in her little blob of magenta jam. He allows himself to complete his first hashbrown and a slice of toast before asking the difficult question. 

“Are you and y/n okay?” and he also takes note when Jisoo’s ministrations on her jelly stop, as she looks up at him with her big brown eyes. 

“We’re fine,” she insists, “just normal roommate issues, I promise.” 

“Maybe I should text y/n,” Jungkook says, pulling out his phone. “Lemme help you fix this, wouldn’t want you and her in a bad place when you’re about to move out.” 

“Baby, why are you so concerned about y/n?” Jisoo croons while his thumb hovers over your contact, his screen showing a two-year old selfie you two took during a study session early on in your friendship. He can’t remember the last time you two took a picture together out of spite, one without Jisoo. Jisoo’s hand pulls him away from his phone, rubbing small circles between his palm. 

He wants to ask, why aren’t you? But he sees the terseness in Jisoo’s smile, as her eyes fix between the interlocked fingers. He has a feeling he’s hovering somewhere he isn’t allowed to be in. Maybe it really is roommate stuff and it’s none of his business, but he feels a little insulted being left out because you and Jungkook are just as much best friends as you were in college. 

Or are you? 

This question plagues him throughout the day, and when Jungkook packs enough boxes for the weekend and says he needs to go home, Jisoo for once doesn’t argue. Normally Jisoo would cling to him like a koala, murmur simultaneously adorable and dirty things in his ear and lead him to her bedroom to coop up for hours on end. But Jisoo says she’s tired and needs some alone time, which is also fine. 

He doesn’t feel like going home, and instead heads straight to the gym. A couple pumps wouldn’t hurt, and it would clear his head. It’s nearly five in the evening when his body is thrumming with the afterglow of his post-workout, and he decides to take a little cool down in the mall and treat himself to a smoothie. 

It must be kismet when he sees you coming out of the bookstore, looking a little winded but no less professional in your beige blazer set and rose gold iPad. Whenever he hung around your apartment with Jisoo and you’d come home from work, he’d make it a point to acknowledge your plethora of multicolored skirt-suits. He never needs to be professional in his place of work, and admires how much effort you put in. 

“Hey!” he jogs up to you, and he catches the way your shoulders jump at his voice. “We missed you today.”

Your smile curls into something dry, and you twist your spine like rusty hinges to face him. In turn, his smile dims a little, wondering if he’s doing something wrong. Maybe you’re tired? He catches the line of sweat that glistens your baby hairs, and how your hair is done up but has fallen a few centimeters with some pieces falling out. 

“Jungkook,” you exhale, “lifting boxes wasn’t enough of a workout?” 

“You know me,” he replies stiffly, hiking his backpack higher upon his shoulder. Why does this conversation feel so awkward? “So, finishing up work? Sucks you have to work on a Sunday.” 

“Ah, it wasn’t so bad,” you face relaxes a little as you explain your work, “it was children’s day at the bookstore and they were watching Disney movies. I’m writing a piece on how I believe Ratatouille is Pixar’s magnum opus. Interviewed some kids, I wanted an expert opinion.”  

“Ratatouille is the superior film,” he declares with a firm nod, “after all, anyone can cook.” He revels in the small smile he manages to retrieve from you, immediately understanding the inside joke. If he came out of the gym five minutes earlier, he probably would’ve been able to catch you in the bookstore. What a shame, he would’ve loved to see you play around with the kids. 

At the mention of food, the mall manages to silence itself enough for him to catch the grumbling coming from your stomach. He laughs when your cheeks heat. 

“I was on my way to get some smoothies,” he jabs a thumb in the direction of the food court, “wanna catch up and get a bite?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, I have a lot of work to edit,” disappointment pangs in his chest at your easy rejection, but he ignores it, “I kinda wanna save some money too, still not sure if I’m staying in the apartment after Jisoo moves.” 

He doesn’t know what compels him to take your shoulders and wheel you in the direction of the food court, much to your protest and whines. “C’mon, explain to me why Ratatouille is the magnum opus—I need to defend why The Incredibles is superior. I’ll treat you to dinner.” 

“What? I can pay for my own food—” 

“And I can’t treat my best friend to a nice meal once in a while?” 

That has you stopping in your tracks, and Jungkook nearly barrels his chest into your head if not for the grippy soles of his Adidas Ultraboosts. He can’t see your face, but his hands note how your muscles cord tightly between the cotton of your blazer. 

He doesn’t understand why you’re so tense. Was it because he called you his best friend? Well, you are? At one point he felt that way, early on in college. The position just stuck with you. And when Jisoo told him you weren’t interested, he was perfectly fine with the platonic relationship. It was nice to have someone to talk media and video games to, someone not as chaotic as Jimin and someone not as deterred as Yoongi. 

Although, maybe as of late he hasn’t been so much of a friend. It’s no one’s fault, he’s been caught up with work and Jisoo’s move, he hasn’t said so much as a “hey how are you” when you’re around. He can’t blame you. 

Suddenly his mind blanks, the mall fading away as he focuses on how small you look as your eyes dart between the parking lot and the food court. Jisoo and Jungkook have been so caught up on each other lately, that he fears you’re starting to separate yourself.

“Um, this place is good,” you tug him by the elbow and lead him to a fast food joint. 

When he picks up both your orders and comes over to your saved table, you’re talking animatedly on the phone. You’re laughing, looking at Jungkook as if he’s the one intruding and you’re muttering a hushed “sorry” as you continue the tail end of the conversation. 

“Yes, Joonie. Go with section two, I know my shit. I’m your Work Wife for a reason, Umji in PR could never compare,” you’re giggling like you’re five years younger, and Jungkook feels stuck in a timelapse. 

He watches you go, throwing around names and terms that he’s so lost on but so desperate to understand. He knows nothing about your life other than the one that’s tied with Jisoo, which is a damn shame. Since when did he inevitably downgrade you from “best friend” to “his girlfriend’s roommate?” 

“I’m sorry,” you turn your phone over and push it to the side, giving Jungkook a smile as well, albeit weaker, “let’s dig in!” 

To his relief the dinner goes as good as it should be. You have your tray practically overflowing at the seams, all on Jungkook’s dime. It has his heart swelling with pride, he hasn’t seen you eat in a long time. There’s fries spilling out from the corners, and two sandwiches because you couldn’t decide between a chicken sandwich and a burger. 

Food gets you amicable, and he doesn’t mind when he does most of the talking. You’re engrossed in his talk, lettuce hanging out of your mouth as you’re rapt with attention as he recalls a story that happened at work recently with Mingyu. You ask questions in all the right places and he sucks up all your attention like a happy pill, and it feels nice to be able to lead a conversation for once. 

“Jeez, I’m getting the burger sweats,” you giggle to yourself, and his smile brightens at your positive change in attitude. Food always helps. 

When you remove your thick high-collar blazer, that’s when he sees it. 

“Seeing someone?” he asks, eyes flickering curiously towards the violet bruises that bloom across your neck. 

“What–oh,” you have the audacity to look embarrassed, hands clutching your neck like a shield, “no, just a hookup.” 

A messy hookup, too. Unless you had a thing for showing off marks, which doesn’t seem to be the case. “Didn’t peg you for someone who hooks up,” he says more to himself than you, but you catch him on his impulse jab. 

Your eyes narrow and your defenses go up, “I’m trying to get over someone,” you snip back, busying your hands by crushing up your greasy sandwich wrappers. 

“Am I allowed to state my opinion?” 

“Since you asked so politely, no.” 

He sighs, “I just don’t think that’s the best way to get over someone,” heck, Jungkook doesn’t even know who exactly you’re trying to get over. He just knows that you’re far too smart and independent to let yourself resort to such matters. 

“It isn’t, but it’s really the best option as of now,” you reply curtly. 

And his gaze saddens as he sees you fold your blazer over your arm, indicating that your time is up. Jungkook is aware the comment he made is out of line, and it weakens him knowing that you don’t even want to pick a fight with him. He can’t even find it in himself to apologize properly. 

He doesn’t know if he’s more sad that you’re pining over someone unattainable or upset at himself for not knowing you’ve been harboring feelings for someone. If you really think hooking up is your only option, you must be really hung about whoever you’re into as of late. 

“If it’s worth anything,” Jungkook adds, wanting to leave on a high note, “fuck that guy. He clearly doesn’t deserve you.” 

A small, secret smile plays on your lips, “Yeah, I like to believe that.” 

“I’m anxious,” Namjoon’s mantra makes the whole energy in the room wobbly, paired with the fact the two of you are squished between cardboard boxes as Jungkook aimlessly moves things around like a Tetris screen. 

The only time you feel remotely comfortable basking in your home is when Jisoo is gone. Oh-so conveniently is the Big Hit building undergoing maintenance today, so you and Namjoon have decided to work from home in your apartment. Although you thought by now that Jisoo’s boxes would be long gone and tucked away in Jungkook’s place, instead you’re living in an episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy and the cardboard is practically wall-to-wall. You also thought by now that Jungkook would have no reason to show up unannounced anymore, but apparently that’s not the case. 

“I have, anxiety,” Namjoon adjusts his glasses for the nth time this afternoon, brain not fixed enough to focus on the screen of his chrome MacBook, “anxiety, anxiety. I can’t right now. I need my weighted blanket and a pillow.” 

“Namjoon, I can get both of those for you if we just send in this last spread,” you coo gently, as if placating a baby. You make brief eye contact with Jungkook from the other side of the room, his lips quirking in amusement as he stacks a box of clothes by the kitchen. 

“Do you feel my palms? My palms, they’re like a fucking fountain you need to feel them—” your Wusband approaches you like a zombie, leaning over you and tripping over his criss-crossed legs before he topples over you. 

“Blegh, get off of me you sweat giant!” you cry with a good-natured laugh, although the grip of Namjoon’s palms under your shoulders are damp and slimy, “Joon, I can’t get you your blanket if you’re crushing my boobs.” 

Namjoon finally relents, untacking himself to rest his chin on your glass coffee table. “Fine.” 

“Look over the last column and I’ll bring your blanket, okay?” 

Pushing yourself off the ground, you shuffle your way out of the living room through the maze of boxes and into the hallway. It feels like your apartment is less of an apartment and more of a storage space when you’re trapped in-between two lines of boxes, and Jungkook effectively blocking you from entering your room. He was just in the living room but now he’s come from the linen closet, standing between the entrance of your room. 

“Sorry,” he pops his head out from a smaller box, one filled with designer costume jewelry. 

“It’s fine,” you chirp, barely making eye contact as you shuffle over the boxes. 

Your toe drags over the lid of one of the open boxes in an attempt to move diagonally. You nearly crash your face into the hardwood if not for Jungkook’s arm stretching out to catch you. In seconds he manages to catch all your weight in one hand, pulling you to him with your hip pressed against his. Your breath traps itself in your neck. Your subconscious fears that if you speak now, you’ll babble about how attractive it is that he’s able to catch you as easily as grabbing a light sheet of paper. 

“Careful,” his voice rumbles in his throat as he regards you with a wan smile. 

Your “thanks” is barely uttered as you slip into your room, heaving your weighted blanket and a pillow in your arms to let Namjoon borrow. 

The burgundy quilted fabric is hunched over your shoulder, draped around your body so it’s easier for you to carry on your back. You try to eradicate the memory of Jungkook’s arms, lean and strong as he held you to him moments before.

Ugh, you thought messing around with Vernon would stop your silly pining. It seems that it’ll take more than a couple rounds to satiate your curiosity. For such a kind guy, Jungkook seems like a wolf in sheep’s clothing when it comes to the bedroom. 

You can imagine him being so kind in the beginning, coaxing you to wan and bend to his every wish and command. And then when you keen a little too hard at the attention, you bet a switch would flip and he’d grab you—

The blanket flops around your back, and you’re sorely reminded that you’re thirsting over a taken man, yet again.  

Jungkook makes it extremely difficult for him to be hateable. It’s by nature that he’s just so damn likeable. Heck, he’s pretty much packed seventy percent of the things Jisoo should be packing right now. 

Making sure not to trip again, on your feelings and your blanket, you successfully reach a tired Namjoon. You tuck your koala-shaped pillow under your co-editor’s arms, and drape the heavy blanket over him like a cape. He’s giving you a thumbs up and a toothless smile, the previous meltdown overcome as he focuses on finishing the last of today’s work. He’s slipped on some noise-cancelling earphones, presumably filled with generic coffee-house music or rain playlists. 

Wordlessly you go to your nook to prepare some tea. It’s getting late and a warm cup would distract you from the impending deadline. Despite the fact that you and Namjoon are 99% of the way done, his previous freak-out has you on live-wire and you could use a little caffeine. 

Placing three mugs on the counter you call, “Jungkook, tea?” 

“Yes please,” you stiffen when you feel Jungkook magically appear right behind you, his head peering over your shoulder, “with milk and honey.” 

Deciding to give Jungkook the beehive-shaped mug because it’s very on-brand for him, you begin to steep the leaves in your kettle while he spoons the honey. 

“So,” his words are slow as the drip of honey, the amber goo taking its time to descend into his mug as it falls from the dipper. “Is that the guy you’re trying to get over?” 

Jungkook lifts his brows towards Namjoon, who is softcore jamming to his white noise playlist. It’s cute as to how curious Jungkook is about Namjoon. While you try to keep your work life separate, there really isn’t much backstory to your personal life to warrant that kind of divide. 

“Namjoon,” you state aloud, watching Namjoon sing badly to himself, “why, are you gonna beat him up for me?” 

“I can take him,” you can practically hear Jungkook’s chest pop out. 

With a roll of your eyes, you reach to kill the heat off the tea kettle, “No need. He isn’t the guy I’m trying to get over.” 

“Oh, he’s your fuck buddy then?” 

“Shit!” being caught off guard, you grab at the handle of your kettle without a pot holder, burning your fingertips. In seconds Jungkook’s larger hand encases your own, pulling you over to the sink to soak your fingers in cool running water.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jungkook is chanting like a sinner at church, searching for any sign of pain in your visage, “I shouldn’t have asked while you’re working with a hot stove.” 

You suppress a sigh, relaxing your fingers as Jungkook soothes the burn with his gentle hold, “Shouldn’t have asked in the first place,” you mumble. 

“I know,” he replies, “guess I’m just feeling a little left out. We don’t talk like we used to. I guess I’m getting a little too nosy for my own good, aren’t I?” 

You don’t understand what’s going on with his incessant babbling as of late, but you chalk it up to work stress and Jisoo’s move. Having no answers to his honest reply, you gently untack your red palm from his grip, assuring him that you’re fine. 

Namjoon steps into your kitchenette, being surprisingly careful as he takes your potholder to pour himself a cup of tea. If the tea is oversteeped and bitter he doesn’t say anything, only leans against the counter as he regards you two with slow sips. “You alright?” 

“M’fine,” you reply stubbornly, avoiding Jungkook’s worried stare. 

Namjoon holds out his hand, “Hand.” 

“No—”

“Hand.” 

His deep voice coerces you, and you immediately slap the back of your palm onto Namjoon’s. Your partner brushes his golden hands over the tiny blister that’s forming over your fingertips. “Can’t have my Work Wife outta commission.” 

“Your Work Wife is fine,” you gripe back. 

Your co-worker’s eyes flicker over to Jungkook’s for a brief second, Jungkook regarding him in curiosity as he stares at your connected palms. “I have some aloe in my bag for sunburns,” Namjoon offers helpfully, ignoring the weird glances, “I’ll give it to you in a bit. Also, I’ve overcome my sudden bout of stress and I’m ready to email our progress to Victoria. We’re done for the day.” 

“Awesome, thanks Joonie,” you exhale, relaxing against the sink, “wanna go eat somewhere?” 

“There’s a niche place in Itaewon if you wanna check it out?” Namjoon offers.

Jungkook interjects, “Jisoo ordered pizza if you guys wanna share with us?” 

“Pizza also sounds good—” 

“We don’t wanna interrupt your alone time,” you gracefully cut in, stepping in front of Namjoon despite the fact that he’s easily towering over you. 

Jungkook snorts, “I’ll have enough alone time with her when she moves in, don’t worry. Besides, I ordered three pies because I wanted to try three different flavor combos. I need two additional judges.” 

“Thanks Jungkook but,” you stifle a cry when Namjoon jabs you in the back with his thumb. It’s pressing, digging into the small of your back as if he’s trying to telepathically tell you that you’re being rude, “but… I don’t know if I can eat three slices! Namjoon on the other hand, can probably eat enough to fairly judge.” 

“Great,” Jungkook’s smile is blinding, causing your grin to stiffen as he looks for his phone to shoot Jisoo a quick text that they’re having dinner for four. 

Once Jungkook’s out of earshot, Namjoon tugs you by the sleeve, “The hell was that?” he hisses in your ear, “you look like you’re about to shit and piss your pants at the same time.” 

“I just don’t feel comfortable eating with them,” you cross your arms in defiance. You think back to just a week ago where you and Jisoo reluctantly attempted to eat breakfast together one morning. You provided minimal small talk while Jisoo clinged to her phone, replying to you in non-committal clipped tones. 

“Do I want to know?”

“No.” 

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No!” you retort, “you got me into this mess, you’re gonna stay with me ‘till the end.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, woman,” Namjoon throws his arms out exasperatedly, oolong tea nearly sloshing onto his hand, “just suck it up or I revoke your bragging rights to that snag you got on our spread next Monday.” 

“Not my fault you couldn’t get Kim Taeyeon on the spread,” you smirk. 

“Well I didn’t so happen to stalk the Sephora she frequents for the past two weeks—” 

“I didn’t stalk her I just so happened to need a new Fenty Gloss Bomb every other day—”

“I’m home, Jungkookie!” 

Your face contorts, your playful energy melting to the hardwood as your previous banter with Namjoon evaporates into thin air. Work bags in one hand and three boxes of pizza balancing in the other, Jisoo kicks off her heels somewhere across the door and places the pizza on the dining table. 

Jungkook immediately appears by her side, and you look away and Jisoo plants a heavy kiss on his lips. She cracks open one eye as she notices you and Namjoon hanging by the kitchenette, “Oh,” she mumbles at her audience, “you’re here?” 

Yes, you bimbo. I’m here in my own apartment. 

“I guess you didn’t read my text that they’ll be joining us for dinner,” Jungkook cuts in good-naturedly, “we have way too much pizza anyway. Have a seat, guys.” 

Jungkook navigates the kitchen as easily as your own, and you slump in your chair while Namjoon exchanges pleasantries with Jisoo. She looks impeccable, hair in a tight chignon and a tight navy dress as she converses with your co-editor. 

“I’m starving,” Jungkook announces, making sure to place a slice on Jisoo’s plate. He shuffles through the other boxes, making brief eye contact with you when he decides to put a slice on yours as well, “you like these toppings, right?” 

You regard the greasy, hearty piece of cheese and bread with a curt nod. You feel Jisoo’s eyes laser on your skin, “Yeah, thanks Kook.” 

Namjoon, Jisoo and Jungkook mostly stir up the conversation, you opting to eat as slow as possible to avoid any conversation. It’s easy to blend back and let them take over, as Jisoo loves to talk about her fashion firm and Namjoon is a great listener. 

Jungkook and Namjoon make it a point to direct the conversation to you from time to time, and you let the ball leave your court as soon as it lands. You prefer to keep your responses short and simple, especially when Jisoo is so eager to talk about the new silk drapes she’s installing for Jungkook’s windows.

Your phone buzzes in your lap, and you discreetly look under the table to read the incoming text message. 

vernie bernie: would u like to do the devil’s dance tonight

vernie bernie: or a tickle to my pickle? 

vernie bernie: beatin ya bean? 

You: ohmyGOD 

vernie bernie: or y’know, u could just come ovr and chill. Hobi made some bomb tres leches

You: call. Ill come after dinner

“Are you okay, y/n?” your head bounces up to meet Jungkook’s gaze, “you’ve barely eaten and you haven’t talked much.” 

“Oh you know, she’s just stressed about the upcoming spread,” Namjoon steps in for you, and you send him a discrete, but grateful smile. He’s always impeccable at reading the room, “she’s just nervous about her interview with Kim Taeyeon, but I think you did her interview justice.” 

“No way, the singer Kim Taeyeon?” Jungkook gushes, regarding you with stars in his eyes, “your interviews are always so great, y/n. You ask really good questions. Like that one spread about  Lee Yonghwa’s art gallery? Really cool.” 

You notice the way Jisoo presses her lips together, a thin line as if she’s trying to seal away words that she’ll regret saying. She’s jealous, and you can’t help the blush of pride that fills your veins as you raise a secret brow at her. 

“Right, you got nothing to worry about,” Namjoon squeezes your shoulder encouragingly, as if you’d get his double-meaning. 

“Thanks,” you reply, pushing your plate away and standing up, “I’m actually gonna go head to Vernon’s for a bit, though. He wants to double check his work before we email Victoria.” 

It’s a bald-faced lie, Namjoon sent the files to Victoria right before dinner, but he isn’t going to argue. 

“Okay,” Namjoon thanks Jungkook and Jisoo for the meal, stacking his plate atop yours, “I’ll walk out with you.” 

“It’s only been twenty minutes, though,” you see the slight panic in Jungkook’s gaze as he watches you quickly clean up for you and Namjoon. You can’t quite pin why he’s so concerned, after all he has been acting strange as of late. 

“Yeah, I’m full,” you reply curtly, licking your lips and avoiding his gaze. You already know what he wants to say, that he’s been in your apartment all day and all he’s seen you eat is stale chips and tea, “but we can do this again.” But hopefully not. 

“If you’re coming home late again,” it’s the first time Jisoo has spoken to you directly. You tilt your head to her slowly, watching the plastic smile carefully carved onto her expression. You see the contrived care and concern between her brows, “please try to be quieter next time, the last time you came home late you woke Jungkookie up.” 

Snapping your gaze to Jungkook you plaster on a thick smile, “Sorry Jungkook—” 

“What? No, it’s fine!” he furrows his brows in confusion, finally able to detect the strange tension between the two housemates, “I barely heard you—” 

“Maybe I’ll just stay the night at Vernon’s,” your eyes trail over to the pajama set you immediately switched into when you got home today, “wouldn’t want to disturb you two.” 

“Good,” Jisoo’s tone is saccharine and clipped as she tacks on a, “have fun.” 

It’s laudable, how much Jisoo wants to make a fool out of you but you won’t have it. You revel in the perplexed expression as Jungkook’s gaze darts back and forth between the two of you, wanting to butt in but unsure of how to approach it. Not giving him the time to, you bid the couple a goodnight and make a fast getaway. Heck, you don’t even take your work stuff with you. 

Once you’re out the door, Namjoon wordlessly gives you a hug. You sigh gratefully into his embrace. 

The next time Jungkook sees you, he reads the room before anything. You and Jisoo’s apartment is scarily empty, almost clinical. He’s tried texting you a few times after his failed-not-failed attempt at catching up at the mall and his awkward conversation concerning Namjoon, but you always reply back with vague replies and an unpromised promise of meeting up sometime soon. 

It dulls him to think that you’ve given up on him as a friend. But can you blame him? He needs to keep an appropriate distance for Jisoo, after all, she doesn’t like it when he gets too close to other women unless it’s strictly professional. Usually Jisoo’s jealousy inevitably works itself out and Jungkook doesn’t pose any problems because he has very few girl friends, but for some reason your friendship with him specifically gets Jisoo stiff in the face. Is it because you and Jisoo are so close? Possibly. 

But it doesn’t mean you can’t join the same Valorant server with him at 2AM and accidentally bomb each other, or argue over the magnum opus of each film company. Is that not enough? 

Jisoo’s working overtime, and Jungkook suggested last night that he move the boxes to the front of the door for easy pick-up when the moving truck arrives. Jisoo promises to buy Thai food in return, and with a kiss emoji she leaves him to audit fabric budgets. 

As he glides down to Jisoo’s room he notes that the pictures along the wall have disappeared, and there’s double the amount of boxes in the hallway. It seems that you’re moving out too. To where, he doesn’t know but he hopes it isn’t too far. 

He chides Jisoo remotely when he sees that her room is completely intact, and he makes moves to pack up her things. 

That’s when he finds his letter. Not a love letter to Jisoo, but a love letter to you. Deep in the recesses of Jisoo’s junk drawer, is a faded lavender envelope with a pressed cream colored baby’s breath taped up in plastic. The glue is yellow and old, clearly served its purpose due to the fact that the letter is already opened and the contents rumpled. 

Hey Pretty Girl–

He immediately stuffs the letter back in its holder, stricken at his messy handwriting from two years ago. It feels like he found a time capsule, another version of Jungkook confessing to you. He used to call you Pretty Girl, not enough for you to catch on to his feelings, but enough for you to understand that he did find you attractive. It was early on in your friendship. 

When you first asked him to be study partners for some silly class that had nothing to do with each other’s majors, he gaped like a guppy and pointed to himself. That day he went to class in last night’s clothes and a nest of fluffy strands. “Me?” he felt like absolute trash, and you were probably desperate due to the fact you two were the only seniors in this class, “but you’re a pretty girl… and I’m pretty dumb when it comes to this subject.” 

But instead you scoffed and pulled him from his slumped figure, dragging him to the library, with a wink and a “you’re pretty, too.” Those words have burned in his brain since then, as he wasn’t used to getting such off-handed compliments, especially from intelligent girls that wanted more than one night. 

For whatever reason you continued seeing his dumb self, even after the semester ended and together registered for one more class for spring. 

Whenever you’d go out for ice cream you wouldn’t hesitate to stuff your face and add for extra Oreos and fries, you’d assure Jungkook you’re not normally this much of a slob. 

Jungkook would just smile and offer you a napkin and say, “You’re still a pretty girl.” 

He fell for you gracefully. There was no regret, no walk of shame, no cliché late night party where you or him could’ve instigated it into the physical. It was all by feel. 

However the two of you took your time with your relationship, languidly enjoying the hushed conversations in the library at 2AM, the late night McFlurry runs, the integration of each other’s friends like it was natural. Ergo the lavender love letter. It was a gentle declaration, one he felt pretty confident in. 

So color him stupid when you passed him in class with a happy wave, Jungkook dumbfounded at how well you handled his confession. You weren’t oblivious, you just never read it. 

But now he knows the declaration was for whatever reason, lost in transit. “I should’ve known,” he whispers in the air, the letter crumpling in his grip. Composing himself, he pinches his brows.  

There’s an electronic buzz and a sharp slam of the front door. Judging by the time, you’re home. 

You flop onto your mattress, folding an arm over your head to stop the sun from seeping to your eyes. Vernon’s exhausted you, and you barely got away before he could have any say in it. You need a little space, and some time to think. 

Just as you close the door to your bedroom, it swings open. 

You gape as Jungkook thrusts himself into your bedroom like a deer with horns, looking pale. You follow his gaze, darkened eyes that linger a little too long on your neck again, and you narrow your eyes at him to avert. He looks a little red in the cheeks despite his pallidness, looking like he just got out of bed with messy wavy locks and his signature sweats. Is Jungkook packing for Jisoo again? 

Acutely aware that you smell like sweat and sex, you clutch the blankets closer to your body. “Uh, rude.” 

He looks uncharastically frantic, waving a letter in his hand, “Did you ever read this?” 

“Read what?” you ask, hands reaching out for the envelope. 

“My confession letter,” he blurts, having no shame now that all the gears are running through his head. “I wrote you a letter asking you out, because you said you wanted to collect notes like in Letters to Juliet. But I just found it in Jisoo’s drawer, why would it be there?” 

And all the pent up frustration that never seemed to escape under Vernon’s sheets, the feelings that never seem to subside, all bubble back to the surface. Now that Jungkook knows, there’s no hiding. 

You’re in shock, hands reaching for the letter despite the burn that seeps through your fingertips. Jungkook’s shoulders slump when you do indeed look like it’s your first time seeing this, as if a missing puzzle piece in your timeline has finally been revealed.

“I, I didn’t think you’d write me a letter,” you take the lavender envelope, clutching the letter by your chest like it’s something precious, “that’s so sweet,” you say to yourself.  

It dawns on him, “Wait, you knew about this? I knew something weird was going on.” 

“Only recently,” you frown. 

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” he nearly shouts, causing you to flinch, “no wonder why you were being so weird all this time. How could you let me live the rest of my life knowing this? That my relationship is built on a lie? ” 

“I don’t know,” you suddenly feel very small in your mattress as Jungkook rounds up on you, pulling your desk chair closer to your bed, “because you love Jisoo, of course.” 

“Well obviously that’s not possible,” and while yes a two-year realtionship ending like this is going to hit him hard tonight, he’s focused on you and the fact that you failed to tell him, “somehow I’d find out. Why wait for me to find out on my own?” 

“Because I wanted to protect you!” 

“Protect me,” he scoffs, crossing his arms and sneering at you. It causes you to tense up, feeling the telltale signs of tears bubbling to the surface, “you don’t even want to be friends anymore, y/n. I’ve tried to catch up to you so many times, but you keep leaving me hanging. I know I’ve been a pretty bad friend and I get it if you just feel awkward that I liked you, then that’s a shitty reason.” 

“Have you ever considered that it’s too late to tell you?” you shoot back, sitting up straight, “yes, I admit I should’ve told you earlier and I’m sorry, but it was a lot for me to process to y’know? Jisoo and I haven’t talked properly in weeks!” 

“Oh, so you’ve stopped trying to be friends with Jisoo too, huh? Just like you’re trying to stop being friends with me.” 

“No,” you pinch your brows, “she stopped being friends with me! She doesn’t care about me because she has you,” conflict burns in Jungkook’s gaze, and you only serve to fuel the fire, “she’s tried so hard to not involve me in your relationship.” 

“Just tell me why you’ve really kept this secret instead of saying you want to protect me like a baby—” 

“It’s because I’m in love with you, idiot!” 

You blink and back up against the wall of your bedroom, as if you can’t believe that the words came out of your mouth. 

It’s quiet again. The sour look evaporates from Jungkook’s face as he watches you suppress your sobs on your mattress. The room seems devoid, sucked out of its color as you’ve cleaned up most of your things, the only thing left being some plain grey sheets and a pillow. 

Jungkook’s mind is absolutely reeling, playing back memories from a different point of view. 

“When Jisoo told me she sabotaged our relationship so she could date you, I was so upset and didn’t know what to think,” you manage to place the lavender note on your wooden desk, making sure no tears could mar it. “And I thought I could move on and eventually stay friends with the both of you, but the next day Jisoo put all her attention on you and completely ignored me or any attempt to salvage our friendship. She only told me to forgive herself,” you’re hugging yourself, wrapping the blankets around you like a weak embrace, “so I thought if I cut myself out of the picture and forced myself to move on like I should’ve, everything would’ve been okay.” 

“So, you would’ve rather kept all this pain to yourself?” 

“Yeah,” you give him a teary smile, “because I wanted you to be happy.” 

And with an equally sad smile he murmurs, “But I’m not happy.” 

 Your face falls, and you really look at Jungkook. He’s exhausted as well, slumped in his chair. Has he been trying to grapple along the threads of his relationships, while you’ve been trying to loosen them? 

“What a waste of two years,” he slumps in your chair, letting the pieces click into place, “a relationship built on fake love. I was really trying, y’know. I thought I was going crazy.” 

The three of you have unknowingly been playing a futile game of Cat’s Cradle, a game that no one wins. 

Jungkook looks wistfully out the window, noting the pleasant day that fails to present itself in your tiny room. It feels simultaneously satisfying and bitter when it falls into place, your thoughts finally fitting together for the first time in months. “We could’ve loved each other. For real,” he says, and you silently agree. 

You’re still crying, shaking like a leaf in autumn. Jungkook’s arms hover awkwardly over yours, his warmth palpable despite the fact that he hasn’t touched you yet. With a timid smile you allow consent, and you melt like putty in his arms. 

“Kookie, ‘m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you murmur into his shoulder, not caring if it hurts when you press your chin into his skin. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.” 

It’s been so long to have him close like this, the friend you’ve always wanted but never needed. Since college you’ve always imagined a life without him doing just fine, but that doesn’t mean you want to live without him, roommate’s boyfriend or not. 

“I’m sorry too,” he sighs back, “this sucks right now, but we’ll be alright.” 

The two of you sit in your room until it turns dark and the sky muddles into shades of twilight and egg yolk orange. There’s lulls in the conversation, the two of you filling in the gaps and making sense of the mumbo-jumbo that’s been going on in your consciousness up until this point. Your insantities turn sane, and by the time Jisoo’s making her way back inside with the smell of pad thai, Jungkook is ready. With a squeeze to each other and a press of your lips because you don’t know what to say, you tuck yourself in and pretend to fall asleep. 

“Messy, messy, messy,” Vernon sing-songs, knocking his heels against the wall. 

The both of you are sitting upside-down, butts attached to the wall connecting to his mattress and your feet hanging in the air. Your mint floral organza socks pad against his Pink Floyd poster, while his yellow tube socks are heeling against some old Polaroids from college. There’s no prospect of sex today, not when shit just hit the fan. 

Today you and Vernon are just two old friends and very close co-workers. 

“Tell me about it,” you bemoan, frowning at the beige wall, “this whole week’s just been a whole mess. It’s like, warm tuna salad.”

“Gross,” Vernon grimaces at the apt comparison, “so what happens now?” 

You sit up on your elbows, looking down at Vernon’s peaceful expression, “What do you mean?” 

“Like, are you gonna get together with him?”

You snort, flopping back down on his bed. The blankets fluff around you and you inhale the pine scented sheets. “After all that? No.” 

“But you still love him?” 

It must sound dumb to still love him after all this time. You wouldn’t be surprised if Vernon thought you’re silly to still hold a place in your heart for someone who has fifteen million things on their plate now. After all the physicality and the space Vernon gave you in his home, your feelings haven’t wavered. 

Your companion doesn’t bother waiting for your answer, hearing your answer somewhere in the air as he gets up and throws on his denim jacket. Rolling over your stomach you ask, “Where are you going?” 

“Some friends down in printing want to meet up for drinks,” Vernon messes up his hair, making the waves part in that little coiff that makes his jawline look sharp. “I heard Yerin really wanted me to come, so.” 

You can’t help the little middle school coo that comes from your lips, causing Vernon to giggle and throw a pillow at you. “Yerin’s cute!” you declare, remembering the petite girl in overalls who’s all about pops of yellow and violet, “you're into her?” 

“Nah,” Vernon holds up two hats in his hands, gesturing for you to pick one. “Just figured it was a push in the right direction.” 

Crawling out of his bed you stumble in your oversized t-shirt, tucking a finger under your chin as you decide between the emerald bucket hat and the red Ralph Lauren baseball cap. You pull out both hats from his hands and set it down on his vanity, opting to smooth out the flyaways and ringing your fingers through his soft curls. “And what direction would my free-flowing friend be going today?” you ask aloud, “you look better with your hair out,” you declare firmly, “makes you look like a fluffy CEO.” 

He laughs at your silly comparison, and he gently moves your hand away from his hair when you linger a little too close to him. His gaze is solemn as he regards you with a gentle smile, “Keep your distance, I’m tryna get over someone,” he says simply, and your arm falls limp at your sides. 

Your heart thuds in a different direction, your mouth parting but no words coming to the surface. When was the last time you asked about Vernon’s needs, wondered if he was doing alright, making sure you two were on the same page—

“You’re spiraling,” he reads you like a playbook, smoothing down your hair to press a kiss to the crown. Suddenly you feel guilty for not having sparks in your belly, shaming your conscience for not even considering his sacrifices in your self-absorption these past few weeks. “Like I said, I wanted to help you. Stop looking like a kicked puppy, it’s okay to be selfish.” 

With transparent tears the two of you pack up and head to your next destination. Hands ghosting between each other you make your way to the exit of Vernon’s apartment, him to meet up with his friends while you have to unpack your new apartment. With a hug you tell each other you’ll see them on Monday, and as easy as that you go your separate ways.

Hey Pretty Girl—

I kinda wanted to tell you this in person but I know how much you liked Mamma Mia and all those other movies that have grand gestures in writing so I thought hey, might as well shoot my shot on paper. 

Not gonna tell you all the details, because you deserve to hear it in-person. But mayhaps this letter has something to do with how much I like studying with you, watching movies with you, doing absolutely nothing with you and all of that in-between. 

There’s a gift card to our spot attached. Meet me at McDonalds @12 tonight, so I know it’s real 😎

Hopefully yours, Jungkook

P.S. if you haven’t noticed already, I sprayed a little cologne and stole Taehyung’s fancy paper from Muji. That’s how serious I am about you. 

“Joon, we live in a bonsai garden. We’re like giants in a forest.” 

“Can you—can you stop spitting at them? Let them breathe, dammit.” 

“Not my fault they’re so tiny! I literally have to zoom 200% just to get a good look at ‘em.” 

The two of you are huddled in what used to be Namjoon’s balcony, now a sunroom for his succulents and bonsais. Your heart feels pink and swollen with affection as you regard Namjoon with interest, absorbing every bit of information you can as he teaches you how to care for his plants. After all, you’re co-parenting now. 

Having your Wusband co-sign as your roommate for the next year is probably the best decision you have made this year. Everyday is like a breath of fresh air. With Seokjin gone for the year to tour his restaurant franchises, his room is yours for the taking. The two of you are easy going roommates, filling the apartment with color and vigour whether it be in the form of baking sweets or watching Netflix documentaries. 

The only drama you ever have is when you two are having a meltdown over the same work-related issue, as if you two somehow share the same brain cell. It’s significantly less stressful, no need for unnecessary anger when  you have someone as mediating as Namjoon.

After today’s plant lesson, you two go back to the living room to finish up your work for the evening. Another perk of living together is that you can go home at normal work times and continue where you left off with the comfort of your couch and eating a whole pizza pie with no shame. 

Namjoon’s phone pings with a new email from corporate. “We got the new concept for next month’s spread,” he gestures to you with a grandiose wave of his arm, “drumroll please.” 

He pulls up the newsletter from corporate with a flick of his thumb. Your company put out every month’s concept out in an Evite, like every month was a themed party. A stressful, month long work party. In seconds, the page loaded and you’re met with next month’s title bathed in electronic glitter. 

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Class of Youth

The two of you say silent, absorbing the concept like a cookie to milk. It’s a personal spread this month, a real treat for the team to show off their normal non-professional life. A spread that reveals the masters behind the ink and text. Last year’s personal spread was about the staff’s vacation destinations, but this year’s is much more intimate. You can imagine all the ideas that will be thrown around on Monday’s meeting: pinning down shared ideas like Throwback Thursdays, late night munchie runs, drunk stories, and all the crazy college nostalgia that you’ve been trying to avoid as of late. 

But now it’s presented to you in a gold chalice, and while you’re sick of the past you think it’s about time to face it. You’re excited to tackle the dark monster you’ve suppressed since Jungkook and Jisoo’s breakup. 

“Did I ever tell you I was president of my university’s Mock Trial?” 

“No, I always thought you’d be president of the Comparative Literature Club or whatever. But Mock Trial is equally as nerdy.” 

“I’ll have you know Mock Trial got me tons of action,” he winked, “made me very convincing.” 

“Gross,” you sneer, “so that’s what your spread will be about? How the co-editor of the Arts & Entertainment section managed to bag with his skills from Mock Trial?” 

“Nah, I went on a penniless journey with Jin during spring break. Six days around Malta.” 

“That does sound so you,” you sigh, fingers slipping between the cracked screen as you mull over the overly happy Evite, “sounds like a cool story.” 

“I know that look,” Namjoon quips, snatching his phone under his nose, “don’t overthink your spread just yet, it’s still the weekend. Now to more important things, what do you want from Taco Bell?”

And because you can’t refuse the combined efforts of nachos and Namjoon’s dimples, you relent for the night and tack the unmade idea to the next workday. 

Unfortunately the next workday is just as disheartening. Today’s work meeting is the antithesis of icing on the cake. While your college life isn’t anything remarkable, you didn’t think it was a painfully dull time. With every passing moment and every excited co-worker throwing memories back and forth like ping pong balls, the more you felt inferior by competing with their amazing memories. 

“Who can even afford Aruba at twenty-one,” you mutter under your breath, stalking back to your cubicle. 

Filling up a whole spread is daunting to you, the thought of Victoria popping her head in your cubicle to ask what you’ve got for the day is practically eating you from the inside out. Maybe your college life was in actuality, super boring? You have no crazy drug trips to tell, any vacations that gave you a life-changing perspective, or an epic love story. 

“What’cha got there, partner?” 

The third musketeer of your editing team’s caramel eyes peer into your cubicle, causing you to jump in your chair. Vernon wheels around, chair and all to push you into your already cramped space. His gold button up gleams in the sunlight, effectively blinding you. 

“If by something you mean nothing, then yeah I got nothing,” you frown, spinning around your chair. “What are you writing about?” 

A fond smile melts onto your friend’s face, and you can’t help returning a smile that mirrors his own. You two have fallen back into a good place, as far as you know. He’s still easy, simple, sweet Vernon. When you dropped some boxes off in coloring, you heard that Vernon and Yerin have recently started seeing each other. 

“Thought of the idea as soon as the Evite came out. It’s more of a photo spread, but I’m gonna write about my study abroad in NYU,” Vernon ticks a pencil on his forehead, “a self-identity piece talking about how I felt like, not-white around my family n’stuff. And then felt not-Asian at the same time, s’complicated but I think I can make it work.” 

“Deep,” you pat his shoulder caringly, knowing that Big Hit is a good outlet for these kinds of subjects, “alright City Slicker, since you’re so full of ideas then tell me what to write about.” 

Vernon sits up straight, regarding you with narrowed eyes, “Aren’t you gonna write about your little love triangle with Jisoo and Jungkook?” and it seems like he’s already storyboarded the idea in his head, gesturing to the air as if he’s writing down a timeline, “I can see the headline now: How to Steal a Heart,” he’s grinning, nodding fervently as you cross your arms in distaste. 

“Vern, are you suggesting that I exploit Jisoo and Jungkook’s personal lives?” while the journalism business didn’t pride itself on sincerity, it did feel wrong to drag in your personal life to that extent. 

“Babe, you don’t understand. You have the perfect slice of life story. Everyone’s writing about expensive vacations and that one time they got cross-faded and ended up in Busan,” he squeezes your hand, “but your story, it’s relatable. It’s romantic. It’s angsty. It has closure. No one’s gonna be able to relate to an impulse spending on daddy’s money to Aruba. But first loves? Unrequited romance and all that ish? Everyone can speak to that. And you’re a beautiful writer, they’ll eat up that story like honey.” 

“I don’t know, it still doesn’t feel right.” 

“Change up the names, twist the story,” he offers easily, knowing you’d put up a fight, “besides, it’s not like you’re planning on talking to Jisoo or Jungkook ever again,” you open your mouth to retort, but Vernon’s phone beeps to the Star Wars theme song and he’s flying out of his chair. “Shoot, gotta go help Joon upstairs. Just think about it, okay? Good luck!” and he’s kicking his chair out with a brown loafer, leaving you with breathing room in your cubicle. 

Five seconds later Vernon is jogging back, pointing a finger at you, “And if you do choose to write it, you have to add that Jisoo copped your McDonalds gift card. Like, who does that shit? Couldn’t she have just given it to you and say it was from her and not Jungkook? Seriously fucked up.” 

For the next ten or so minutes you mull. Out of all the memorable college events you’ve participated in, the largest one by far is your (now defunct and debatable) friendship with Jisoo, and your (un)requited love for Jungkook. Reluctantly, you must admit Vernon has a sharp idea, busting in like a hero and offering you the most writable piece on a silver platter. 

It doesn’t feel morally right just to start writing, because ultimately you can’t feel comfortable until you get the consent of Jungkook. While you don’t want to touch Jisoo with a ten-meter pole, you do want to start talking to Jungkook again now that the waters have calmed.

Your life has moved gracefully up until this point, and you’d like to start being friends with him again. Decision made, you pull out your phone and make an important call.

“Hey Yoongi,” you say nervously. Min Yoongi is Kim Namjoon’s equivalent, Jungkook’s Wusband and former upperclassmen in college. 

Said man hums noncommittally on the other line, “Whaddya want, it’s been awhile.” 

You stifle a giggle at his apathetic attitude, knowing he’s someone who wastes no time in getting straight to the point. “I just wanna make sure Jungkook’s address is still the same? I know it’s been a couple months, but I need to send him something and I wanna make sure it gets to him ASAP because—”

“Because last time something was sent, your crazy roommate intervened and Jungkook ended up in a two-year half-toxic relationship? Yeah, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

“Yoongi,” you say slowly, “where are you?” 

“Working in the studio,” he tuts, “Jungkook says hi, by the way.” 

Typical, cat’s out of the bag. With a roll of our eyes you reply, “Thanks for outing me, Yoongi. Talk to you later.” 

“And y/n? Jungkook says he’s waiting.” 

With a stupid smile slapped onto your face, you hang up the phone and pull out your stationary kit from under your desk. You pluck out a vermillion red envelope, a color so bold and begging to be seen, you know it can’t possibly get lost in transit. Feeling a little bit like a high schooler as you pull out a glitter jelly pen, you get to writing. 

Hey Pretty Boy...

Jungkook and Jisoo are no longer together, evidently. 

Their social media runs in different directions, with Jisoo sporting absolute elegance in her work at her family-owned boutique. Her posts are full of shiny outfits and soulless gazes, betraying any pinch of emotion she may have felt over these past few months. Her profile is wiped of any personal posts, all traces of you and Jungkook evaporated from her page. You must admit that she looks good, like a real fashion mogul, but only at the surface level. 

Conversely, Jungkook is thriving. It’s evident. Normally he isn’t the type of guy to post so frequently, his habits being often sporadic and limited to sweaty gym stories. But whenever you scroll, it’s pictures of him smiling. Big bunny teeth broken into a genuine, full-bellied laugh. Cute selfies of him and his co-workers. You notice two familiar co-workers in those posts, Irene and Seulgi, two beautiful women Jisoo always felt intimidated by whenever she ranted to you. You conclude positively that Jungkook doesn’t feel tethered and can hang out with all the friends he wants, female and male alike. Jungkook looks free, and you’re happy for him. 

It’s another Instagram-worthy moment tonight at McDonalds, where you and Jungkook proposed to meet each other at 12AM. 

This time, the letter makes it to its desired destination. You make sure of that because this time you hand-deliver it, slipping under his apartment door knowing he lives alone and no one would be able to access it except him. 

You’re parked in an obscure corner, but you can see that Jungkook is currently having a great time with his co-workers for an after work meal. Yoongi is unbothered on his phone, while Jimin and Seulgi are taking turns throwing fries into each other’s mouth. Jungkook is squished between them, scrunching his nose cutely as he tries not to get in the fray of their fry-war. 

Your phone pings, and you laugh at what pops up on the screen.

Yoongi: come inside, u loser. 

You: can’t ur friend group makes me nervous stop being so dang cute

You: dw i’ll wait, it’s only 11:50

Instead of replying, Yoongi puts his phone down and resumes eating. In turn you pick a playlist, deciding that “summer time high mix✨✨✨” is a theme you need to subscribe to for the rest of the weekend. 

Busying yourself by sending some texts to Namjoon and checking some emails, you relax in your seat as you let your brain turn to sludge for the weekend. You’re tired, eyes glazing over as you watch Yoongi elbow Jungkook harshly, forcing him to look out the foggy window. 

Jungkook’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas Eve, but instead of Christmas lights it's your car’s lowlights. The graphic designer  pays no mind to his friends as they wish him goodbye and goodluck, throwing on his jacket with a wave. 

The night air whizzes by, Jungkook’s floppy black strands bouncing with each step as he bounds to your car. He throws your door open, bringing in the cold air as he regards you as easily as an old friend would. 

“Hi,” he chirps, placing his tattooed palms by the air vent, “c’mon, let’s order.” 

“You know, you could’ve ordered inside and brought it in here.” 

“Yeah but then it would take longer to get to you,” the cheeky grin that Jungkook throws at you is unmistakable, “c’mon, get out the car and let’s switch.” 

“Huh?” 

“You look tired, you didn’t come back from the office again, did you?” 

“I did tonight,” you say, “I just really wanted to get the soft copy of the article done and—” 

“Out, out!” Jungkook clicks your seatbelt off and he’s coming out of the passenger side, opening your car and pulling you out by the hand, “c’mon, I’ll drive.” 

You shake your head, hiding your smile in your hand as you let Jungkook do what he wants. Normally you’d be insulted that anyone suggests they should drive your car but Jungkook would always drive you around, saying he loved long rides. Above all, if you could trust anyone to drive your car, Jungkook is at the top of the list. 

Buckling in, you bite the inside of your cheek as Jungkook easily pulls out of the parking spot one-handed. His jacket is pulled up to his elbows, exposing his veins as he expertly whirls the wheel in the direction of the drive-thru. Since college he’s always looked very attractive driving.  

Doesn’t mean you have to act like you’re still in college. You tamp those feelings down, knowing that your article probably has you feeling stuck in time. 

“—coming along?” 

“Wha?” 

“I said, how’s the spread coming along?” 

“It’s pretty much done, I think. I’ll send you the hard copy when it’s ready,” you tap your fingers against the dashboard, “but are you sure you’re okay with me writing it? I know I’m using a pseudonym and everything for you two but I still feel weird—” 

“It’s fine, I think it’s a good thing,” and you still squirm in your seat when he flashes you a genuine smile, “I mean, it kinda is a funny story and I think it’s good for both of us. Like closure, y’know? Moving on and—hi, can I get two Oreo McFlurrys and a large fry? Thanks!” he pulls out his wallet to scan the total on the e-reader.  “I mean, didn’t it feel good writing it?”

“Yeah,” you replied honestly, relaxing in your seat, “like, college was fun and all, but when Jisoo kinda ruined all that… after awhile I didn’t think it was ruined after all, y’know? I still made amazing friends and ended up where I wanted to be. I want to show the readers that shit happens, and that’s okay. And if things are really meant to be, they’re meant to be.” 

The summer playlist hums in the background as Jungkook pulls up to the pick-up window. He thanks the worker and hands you the tray, and you make quick work to put the fries in the first cup holder for optimal sharing. He doesn’t park at McDonalds, but instead smoothly pulls out of the restaurant into the direction of his apartment. It isn’t a particularly long drive, but you figure it would be easier for Jungkook to go home first if you’re already parked at his complex. 

“What do you mean by that?” Jungkook parks in the driveway of his apartment, taking his McFlurry from your hands. 

“Mean by what?” 

“If things are really meant to be, they’re meant to be.” 

“Well, we’re here now, right?” 

Jungkook pops his spoon in, swallowing vanilla and a silly smile through his coral pink lips, “We’re here now,” he repeats. 

The night air is cool and your conversation is warm. You promise Jungkook that you’ll send him the final copy of your spread as soon as it’s done, and you two eagerly deviate away from the past and focus on the present. 

You can’t help the eagerness that flows between you, as if you’ve never spent time apart like this and it’s only now that you’re reuniting. It must be absence that makes the heart grow fonder, because you swell with affection and you find Jungkook’s presence sweeter than any kind of ice cream. 

Are you dating now? Maybe. You and Jungkook are going on dates, everything without the title. McFlurry runs, marathons of HGTV’s Design on a Dime, having lunch at each other’s respective buildings with the Wusbands. Whether these dates are exclusive or not is unknown, but you figure the question will present yourself one way or another. 

You’re in a good place right now, potential relationship or not. After all, your priorities are simultaneously positive and in order: family, work, friends, and any potential romantic trysts are at the very bottom. You could kiss the cover of this month’s issue (and trust, you have kissed your own copy multiple times) if it is not for the fact that this specific issue is for Jungkook. 

So, romantic trysts and friends have a tendency to flip-flop on your priority list, but only because it’s Jungkook. 

Unsurprisingly, there’s no guilt knowing that you’re dating your former best friend's ex-boyfriend. 

After a much deserved early work day, Namjoon and the crew arrange a hearty happy-hour filled with good food and enough relaxation to last the weekend. With your combined successes, your team felt like they made the best issue yet. At the heart of it, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Class of Youth became a reckoning of each other’s young life. Despite the love and the growth that occurred from your college years up until this point, you’re glad to close that chapter and move forward. 

You did not tell Jungkook when the issue would come out, so you think it’ll be a fun surprise for him when he sees it magically show up at his apartment. Bending down you move to slip the issue under his door, one hand pushing it under while one hand braces against the frame to steady your balance. 

Just as the shiny cover glides under the door it swings open, and you fall flat on Jungkook’s feet. 

Being the little shit he is, he simply giggles at the blunder, looking at you with excited eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you,” he says. 

“Creepy as hell, Jeon,” you mutter under your breath, brushing the dirt off your aqua pencil skirt. Looking at him from your spot on the floor and his large height, you grimace. “You look like a middle-aged serial killer looking outside your peephole.” 

“Now, we know that’s not true.” he finally offers his hand, easily pulling you up to your feet. You follow him into his kitchen, where he’s cutting up fresh fruit. He throws your issue on the counter, gentle enough so it doesn’t slide off the granite. He gestures to himself with both hands, “me, a dashingly handsome late twenty-something in Nike sweats who can bench-press two of you? Totally not a middle-aged serial killer.” 

“It’s in the eyes,” you chastise, “you look crazy.” 

“Maybe I’m just crazy excited to see you,” he says with a cheeky grin. 

You try your best not to choke on your spit at the cheeseball comment, throwing a blackberry in your mouth. Savoring the burst of tart flavor that fills your mouth, you wait for Jungkook to plate the fruit before meeting him on the couch. He’s holding a prettily arranged plate of berries, bananas, and mango with a huge dollop of whipped cream in the middle. In his other hand is Big Hit’s magazine. 

Throwing your blazer on the couch’s arm you don’t hesitate to cuddle up next to him, eagerly waiting for him to read your spread. 

The cover gazes back at the two of you like a reflection. The entirety of the staff is posed on the cover, made to look like a class photo. Some of you are holding balloons in your respective school colors, many of you grouping up with whoever happened to go to college together. You and Vernon are wearing matching university sweaters with silly grins on your faces. In the middle of the issue is the editor-in-chief, Victoria Song holding a placard that reads: Class of Youth. 

Jungkook spares you a glance from the corner of his eye, your head naturally tucked into his shoulder. With an exaggerated sigh, he fiddles through the glossy pages, “Hmm, which one should I read first?” 

“Of course you’ll read mine first,” you pout. 

“Ah, Namjoon’s looks really fun. Or Vernon’s? New York looks pretty cool,” he flips to a random page, “wait, Yerin’s spread is a Korean cookbook! I definitely want to make some tuna rice...”  

“Jungkook,” you whine, “read mine.” 

“I don’t know,” he taps his finger on his lip, “I mean, I pretty much know your spread because I’m already in it. It would be kind of redundant to read it.” 

“Kook, you’re being mean,” you glower, rubbing your cheek against his soft sweater. He’s just so damn comfy. 

“I’m kidding,” he tugs at your cheek, “where’s the table of contents, first page?”

“I’m on page eighty-three.” 

You speed up the process like an impatient child, leaning over to brush the pages to the desired spread. You even dog-earred it, a habit that drives Jungkook crazy as he immediately fiddles to iron out the crease. 

“Are you gonna read it to me too, mom?” he teases. 

“Okay fine! I’ll be quiet, but don’t take too long.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Eyes fluttering, you let Jungkook take his time to absorb your piece. A roommate by any other (rude) name: the lost letter. A cheesy, gimmicky title that Victoria insisted upon that you had no choice but relent to. The rest of the spread thankfully has a very authentic edge to it, your story laced with photos of you and Jungkook, your internship with Vernon, and most importantly, a scan of the lavender letter that got left in the past. 

Jungkook’s not silent through his read-through, either. He laughs at all the right parts, fueling your ego as his smile grows at your favorite lines. While he doesn’t directly engage in conversation, his positive energy is enough for you to make you feel like you’ve done your job right. It’s one thing to write about unknown celebrities and unnamed artists, but for people like Jungkook, the validation is personal. 

“It’s beautiful,” Jungkook says when he’s read it thrice through, running his thumb over a picture of you. “Really organic. Really, real.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he chuckles, having run out of adverbs. “It’s funny, too. I liked your little internal monologue. I wish I knew how you felt back then.” 

“I wish you did, too.” 

You’re quietly munching on a strawberry, looking over a polaroid Jungkook took. It was  sometime in the beginning of senior year, where you’ve fallen asleep on his mattress, drool drying on your mouth. Normally you’d be opposed to having such unflattering, grainy pictures amongst your writing, but it encapsulates the youth you’ve tried so hard to chase away. 

“How do you feel?” Jungkook says, switching out the magazine for the plate of fruit, placing it on his side. 

“Feel great, actually,” you muse, smiling to yourself. By no means are you a hero writing some grand gesture in an entertainment magazine, but you feel like you’ve saved yourself. You’ve savored your youth in four thousand words, cutting out the poison and keeping the moment as sweet as it can be. 

“I’m proud of you,” he reaches to ruffle your hair, and you don’t even get mad when it tousles out of your pinned style. 

Reveling in the attention, you simply close your eyes and feed yourself a handful of blueberries. 

“Love that I make money, but I definitely miss college from time to time,” Jungkook stretches, jostling you out of your comfortable position. “Like I remember Taehyung and I would take turns bringing backpacks to the dining hall so we could stuff fruit in it for later.”

“Yeah, but as much as I loved college I wouldn’t go back,” you nod to yourself, “I’m happy where I am now.” 

“What about when we stayed up for midnight breakfast? The dining hall was filled to the brim with food. Remember when I tried to eat a whole stack of pancakes?” 

“Jungkook…” 

“Or when our classes got cancelled and we went to Lotte World? You ate way too much funnel cake and I had to carry you to the car!” 

“Jungkook—” 

“And that one time we snuck out to the music hall’s rooftop?” words gush out of Jungkook’s mouth like a waterfall, unable to relent, “that’s when I realized I liked you. I liked you so much, I tried to tell you that night but choked—”

“Jungkook!” and he immediately zips up, frowning. You straighten up, on your knees as you reach over to run your hands through his onyx tresses, moving the styled strands to the back of his pierced ears, “Jungkook,” you repeat softly, “I’ve heard all these stories, I was there for most of them. As much as I love the past… can we talk about something else?” you give him a small, tentative smile to show him you’re not mad, but a little uncomfortable at his reminiscing. 

He leans into your touch, pressing your palm against the soft swell of his warm cheek. “Okay,” he agrees, resting one hand on your thigh. 

You’re roped in his gaze, and you have to force yourself to breathe when Jungkook moves closer to you. He hooks a leg behind his back, and another across his lap. A cool breeze kisses your inner thighs when your skirt exposes your cotton underwear. You should be embarrassed but instead you’re fixated, unable to understand what he’s trying to accomplish. 

“Then I’m gonna talk about the future,” Jungkook traps you between the couch, his thumb running hot circles to where your skirt has hiked up. It exposes a slip of the thigh that Jungkook has seen a million times. He’s seen you walking around your apartment in a large shirt, ridden up to your boyshorts. It’s different now, you feel exposed and tingly, thrumming with excitement. “I like you, obviously anticipated news and old news. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to go on dates with you, re-watch Avatar, grumble when I force you to come to the gym with me,” he bumps noses with you when you scrunch yours, “I wanna be with you. Heck, I’ve even cleared space in my spare room so you’d have closet space for all your fancy designer suits if you ever need it.”

“You cleared space?” you manage to choke out. Visions of a shared apartment roll through your brain. Cooking meals together, having two toothbrushes side by side, and waking up to his face. 

“Of course I did. Do you know how financially attractive you are?” he says lightheartedly, “you’re a sexy working woman and it’s crazy to imagine you’d want to settle for me and my little apartment. But I have to try now because if I don’t, it’ll be too late.” 

“That’s not true,” you retort, “you’re not someone I’d settle for. I want you, and no one else.” 

He chuckles, running a thumb over your cheek. “Then what are we waiting for? Your key’s hiding under the mat.” 

“Jungkook…” on the tip of your tongue lays the words you’re going too fast but it doesn’t make its way to the air. 

“But do you really think it’s too fast?” he reads your face clearly, “these feelings never went anywhere. They were locked away, sure. And I loved her,” he can’t even say the name, not when you’re warm and flush against him, “but I loved our friendship more.”

“I… I don’t know what to say,” you breathe, letting the cogs in your brain roll until sparks develop. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he concedes, “I just wanted to let you know. Could’ve done the letter thing all over again and let the past repeat itself. I know Namjoon wouldn’t hide a love letter for two years, but if I left another damn letter he’d definitely make a copy and tease me about it.” 

You snort, pressing your forehead to his. You’re practically buried in the couch now, tingly and vibrating with happiness. “And I’m not going to leave you hanging. I do want to say something,” and he looks at you expectantly, licking the leftover berry juice on his lips, nearly making you miss your train of thought, “I like you too,” you say, the other L-word is also applicable, but you feel like that phrase is reserved for another time, “I want to show you off on work vacations, bring you along as my date and show them you’re my muse,” you confess, “I wanna play video games with you ‘till 2AM, and eat ice cream in the comfort of our apartment instead of our cars because we’re too stubborn to admit we don’t wanna go home without each other.” 

Jungkook absolutely preens at the affection, sending you a heart melting smile that has your stomach doing backflips.

“Jungkook, I want to fall in love with you again.” 

Your squeal of surprise is swallowed by Jungkook’s lips, tasting of mangoes and berries as strong hands cup your backside, easily lifting you onto his lap. You plop under his strong thighs, feeling them flex against yours. The both of you are pouring in this kiss, raining with promises and hopes for a future with each other. His taste is concentrated, and you can feel the devotion practically injected in his embrace. 

When he pulls away his lips are cherry-red and shiny, looking up at you through clear coffee eyes. “This isn’t a dream, right?” he looks at you up and down, unable to decipher fact from fiction, “because I distinctly remember two wet dreams that involve you looking like this.” 

Looking down, you heat at the disarray you’re in. Hair wild and parted in different wavelengths, tired of the day’s efforts. Your slightly sheer dress-shirt is rumpled, the lace collar opened with two popped buttons revealing your cleavage, and your skirt is stretched so tight that it’s ruched all the way up your thighs. Sprawled across Jungkook’s lap, you’re dangerously close to something long and hard. 

Emboldened, you clutch at Jungkook’s collar, pulling him closer. 

“Show me what happens in your dream,” you whisper into his ear, barely brushing your clothed core against his crotch, “maybe we can make it come true tonight.” 

You can’t see his face, but you feel something dark and sensual overtake him. The grip on your ass tightens, a delicious pain that has you pressing your breasts against him and nipping on his ear, your tongue darting sensually through the cold silver hoops that dart through his skin. 

Within seconds, he rips you away from his neck and demands, “Open.” 

Dazed, you barely get a centimeter of your mouth open when Jungkook presses something cold and sugary against your lips. Whipped cream. You manage to take a small bite of the tart strawberry that he holds by the viridian stem, rolling the flavor between your mouth as Jungkook paints the leftover whipped cream over your lips. Once he’s satisfied he then creates a white trail that leads to your cleavage. 

Better than any dream, his eyes drink you in like the last glass of water in a desert. Your lips are swollen and parted like a baby kitten, covered in the creamy confection. “So pretty,” he exhales, his hot tongue licking from your cleavage to your lips, swallowing the flavor of you and strawberry juice, “such a pretty girl you are, and all mine.” 

“Yours,” you submit easily, rolling your hips against his. 

At that moment you think you’re meant to fall in love this way. You can’t imagine the shy, fumbly Jungkook and your equally confused self waltzing around a relationship when you barely had your lives together. The two of you still had growing to do. The wait is certainly worth it, because as you feel his arms tighten around you, you’re sure this love will stay strong.

It’s difficult for you to find a rhythm at first, what with Jungkook’s strength and need to be satiated, both of you are sloppy but the friction is nothing less than delicious. Your finger reaches over to swipe at the leftover cream on the plate, and you press your finger to Jungkook’s mouth, and he immediately complies. A dollop of sweet cream leaks out of his lips and your panties dampen further when you feel his tongue lick you clean, imagaining how good it would feel if it was your pussy he was licking. 

Your mouth waters at the feeling of his dick lining up against your core, as sticky as the strawberry juice that clings to your bodies. 

“C-can I make a confession? I—oh, Jungkook…” your mind is all fuzzed up when he snaps his hips against yours, causing you to shamelessly bounce on his length. 

“Yeah?” 

“I… I like it when you use all your strength like that,” his hips slow as your words sink in, but you don’t mind as it gives you time to make a long drag along the entirety of his member. “Everytime you pull me up when I trip, or you come back from a workout, I like it when you carry me around like I weigh nothing.” 

“Do—do you think about it a lot?” he grunts, and you stifle a moan when he does a slow, hard drag against your wet folds. “Tell the truth.” 

“It’s, it’s embarrassing,” you whimper, unable to think straight with the amount of stimuli you’re receiving.  

“Please, baby.” 

“Yes mm—oh! I do,” you try to get the words out as quickly as you can. He stops moving, and you groan in frustration so you just lay it all out on the table. “I, I love it when you hold me in your strong arms. And, ah, uh w-henever you come back from the gym you just look so sexy fresh from the shower. Sometimes I think about how you’re too damn nice for your own good but I bet you’d be so rough in bed.” 

“Really?” and then he’s shoving you onto the couch, air brushing against your bare thighs as your back hits the beige throw pillows. He’s hovering, dark eyes starting from the tip of your toes to your damp lips. “You like it when I manhandle you? Throw you around like a little doll?” 

“All that strength, and for what?” you try to keep your snappy remarks in check, but it’s hard when he’s pressing his straining dick against your thigh, weeping and needy. 

“You’re not gonna be joking about my strength anytime soon, baby,” emblazoned, he easily throws your leg over his shoulder, pushing your panties to the side to let your wetness leak out and onto his fingers, “are you gonna complain or be a good girl?” 

“Yes, I’m ah—” you wince when he inserts a finger, “I’ll be good for you,” 

“My good girl,” he revels in the way you melt under his touch, your previous sarcasm quickly dissolving into a puddle. You always had an inkling that Jungkook would be a sneaky fox in bed, all that muscle hidden behind a kind smile and a penchant for tea with milk and honey. 

Jungkook slips in another finger, stretching you and preparing you for what’s to come. He’s scissoring you at a sensible pace that has you squirming and wanting more. To prevent you from shimmying off the couch he holds you down with his free hand, and you love the way he practically feeds you to the couch, hands dancing over your neck as he shoves you further into the furniture. 

“You look so gorgeous,” he says, causing you to moan and keen at his attention, “you’re such a strong, gorgeous woman. Having you sprawled out like this, ready to do whatever I want to you is so fucking hot.” 

“I’m—I’m only weak for you Jungkook,” you say honestly, tears pricking when he dips another finger. The stretch burns deliciously, and your folds eagerly swallow him up until you’re filled to the brim. Your fingers or toys cannot compare to flesh, and you sigh in relief when you see his inked fingers pick up the pace once more. 

“You’re damn right,” Jungkook husks, and with a grain of love he murmurs in your ear, “I’m only weak for you, too.” 

And that’s when he snaps, thumb rolling against your bud as he slams his other fingers against you, going at a brutal pace. You cry out, not caring whether his neighbors hear as he pulls you back and forth through pleasure and pain. 

“T-too much, Kookie,” you mewl, your hand warbling to find his, “I, ah, ‘m gonna cum!” 

“That’s the plan,” he only goes faster, stretching your band further and further before your desired high is reached. His hand trails up to force your chin straight, looking up at him, “let go for me, baby. Wanna feel your pussy clench around my fingers.” 

In seconds, you gush. It has you in a slight panic, drunk on endorphins as you try to lift your head up but Jungkook’s hand is firmly pressing you on your shoulder as he fingers you efficiently through your high, the wet squelching sounds only increasing with your cries. His lap is drenched in your arousal, along with his chin and lips glistening with your essence. 

He finally releases you when you’re practically shaking, his hands sticky and creamy. You moan when he shamelessly licks them within your view, making sure to wrap his tongue around his ink-stained digits. 

“I,” your mouth is dry when you feel the dampness that hits your bottom, “I’ve never, I don’t remember ever—” 

Your babbles are lost between your throat and Jungkook’s tongue, shoved deep into your mouth. Tasting your arousal has you practically vibrating in your place, as you two rut against each other like hungry bunnies. 

“God, you’re amazing,” he says between pecks, kissing away your face of any tears you may have pricked, “Amazing, adorable, absolutely beautifulIadoreyousoso—” 

“Pleasepleaseplease,” you press your hips up, wiggling for more attention, “please fuck me, Jungkook.” 

You can’t help the witchy, satisfied smile when Jungkook’s eyes darken to a thick coal, “Anything for you,” he murmurs, swinging your legs between his arms as he lifts you like a feather. 

On his lap again, you soon accept that the way you two mesh like puzzle pieces is one of your favorite positions as it gives you both equal space to ravish each other. 

Just when your hand trails to the waistband of his boxer briefs and you’re rolling your thumb over its collected moisture, the moment is shattered when the doorbell rings. You jump in his arms, unprepared for your moment to be interrupted. 

He groans into the crown of your hair, and you soften in his relaxed hold, “I ordered us pizza,” he nearly forgot. 

Perking your head up to look at him you regard him innocently, as if you didn’t release a waterfall on his sweats two seconds ago. “You got us pizza?” 

“I knew you’d be coming over tonight,” he’s pouting into your neck, regretting ever having called the pizza guy if he knew this would happen, “Victoria posted the publish date on Twitter. I just didn’t think,” he gestures vaguely to the mess on his pants, “this would happen.”  

“Damn, and here I thought I was being sneaky,” you chuckle, flicking his ear playfully. 

He gives you an uncharacteristically subby whine, shamelessly upset he has to let you go so fast after he’s given you your first of many highs. Before he weakens further under your beauty, he unceremoniously shoves you off. “Sorry, pretty girl,” you melt at the easy way his pet name rolls off his lips, “can you wait in my room for a bit so I can pay the delivery guy? I don’t want them to see you like this.” 

“But I want to eat pizza,” you declare stubbornly, standing up to button your blouse and pull down your skirt. 

Before you could fasten one button or pull down one centimeter, his hand darts out to snatch your wrist away from your body. It doesn’t hurt much, but it causes your body to heat in more places than one. He’s sexy like this, demanding your attention. “No,” he rumbles definitively, “my room. Now.” 

“Why?” you throw your hands in the air, yelping when he slaps your ass. He makes sure to make it sting, cupping you fully. 

“Because,” he says firmly, “you don’t get to eat until I eat,” you whimper when his hand reaches to cup your sex, panties wet and cold without his warmth as he pushes you in the direction of his bedroom. 

Oh, you can’t wait for both of you to eat tonight. 

some time later.

“Ohmygod the view is beautiful!” Krystal, who works in advertisement, squeals. “No filter needed!” 

“Alright alright, make room Princess,” Namjoon teases. With a bump to Krystal’s tiny hips Namjoon shoves you two across the pavilion, putting his arm around you once he finds the perfect angle, “Umji, can you get a pic of me and my Work Wife? I want this on the Big Hit Instagram!” 

You hold your straw sunhat down from the salty wind, smiling beautifully as Umji takes multiple pictures of you and Namjoon from her Nikon. Another successful year under your notch, ending with a successful work retreat. 

“Namjoon, can I take a picture with my actual wife now?” 

“We’re not married, Jungkook,” you chastise, patting the chest of Namjoon’s floral printed Hawaiian shirt so he can switch. Instantly, Jungkook slides up next to you like a picture perfect stock model piece, and you wrap your arms around his trim waist, “we’re not even engaged.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he pouts, looking over the pavilion and adjusting the both of you so there’s a good amount of you and the resort in the background. The sun may be scathingly hot, but it looks beautiful perched over the crystal clear waters. “Namjoon, you got it easy,” Jungkook says when he hands him your phone, “every angle is our good angle, so you can’t mess it up.” 

Being the honest man he is, Namjoon knows better and doesn’t say anything to that. Instead he shoots down whatever pineapple-flavored concoction is offered to him on a silver platter, and starts shooting. 

“Is this swimsuit new?” Jungkook murmurs into your ear between shots, flicking your little red number by the strap connecting the back, “because I didn’t see this in the luggage.” 

You smile big, pearly whites as Namjoon demands to pop out your butt and work it, pressing your body closer to Jungkook’s. “Tiny enough so I could hide it in my purse,” you reply proudly, voice low for only each other’s ears, “why, surprised?” 

“Definitely not prepared,” his fingers dig deliciously in your bare flesh, “would Victoria fire you if she catches us doing it in the cabana?” 

Amused that your boyfriend now shares your combined awe and fear of your boss, you twist his nipple lightly. He yelps, and from Namjoon’s guaff he’s definitely got that on camera. “We didn’t come to Boracay to fuck in the cabana.” 

“Then the hotel room?” 

Namjoon hands you back your phone when he considers his job done, letting you and Jungkook have some alone time. You wave your phone in his face, trying to get him to focus on the task at hand. You wanted to post some cute pictures of you and your boyfriend, one to impress the family back home and the Big Hit interns back in Seoul who are absolutely pining for your position. 

“Jungkook, they have the water ski thing where you can flip in the water mid air! Doesn’t that sound fun? Or we can go scuba diving, have Filipino food, or get massages. LIterally, we’re on Big Hit’s dime, and the first thing you want to do is go back to the room?” 

“Yes,” he pouts petulantly, leaning into the hollow of your ear and whispering, “got a chub on.” 

Discreetly so, your hands brush against his navy trunks and you note yes, he’s half hard. “No!” you shake your head definitively, pushing him out of your arms. You’re not letting sex get in the way of your hard-earned vacation, you’re on company dime and you intend to milk every peso of it. “Namjoon, take him away!” 

You blow him a kiss and follow another group who’s decided to go eat, watching your boyfriend get dragged away by Namjoon’s long arms. Krystal, who’s been mildly watching the whole ordeal in-between taking selfies, looks at you in awe, “You got it good, bosslady,” she says, and you happily link arms with her in the direction of the restaurants. 

You and Jungkook definitely have it good. You don’t see him until dinnertime, looking utterly relaxed as he sips on a mango-muddled concoction. He must’ve gotten a couples massage with Namjoon, cute. Splitting up was definitely a good idea, by the time your meal arrives the two of you are practically leaning against each other, telling each other what events you need to do tomorrow and events you think will be fun to do together. 

“Joon,” Jungkook is throwing an arm over your Wusband’s shoulder, mildly tipsy. The image is adorable, as Jungkook long ago previously confessed that he felt a little jealous of Namjoon’s work relationship with you before you were dating. Now, it feels like they’re best friends and you’re third-wheeling. “What do you think about having halo-halo tomorrow? It’s like bingsu but with a bunch of other good stuffs. There’s red bean, mango, ube, ice cream…” 

Just as Jungkook begins his tirade of dessert ingredients, you pull up your phone to check on your social media. You smile back at your profile, seeing your latest Instagram post at the very top of the feed. Not to flex, but the two of you look pretty smokin’ since you’ve been keeping up with Jungkook’s insistence to join him at the gym. Jungkook and you are leaning against the pristine veranda, overlooking the clear blue water and a cloudless sky. The smiles you two sport are genuine and utterly in love. 

You scroll down the comments, most of them filled with sweet messages but one of them has you doing a double take. 

@sooyaaa__: 😒😒😒 knew something was goin on behind my back… good riddance

The smell of Jungkook’s detergent overtakes your nostrils, and you turn to him. He’s stopped talking, now immersed in whatever’s going on in your phone. 

“The nerve of her,” Jungkook scrunches his nose, disgusted at her latest comment. “As if anyone would believe her.” 

“Yeah,” you echo, “I feel bad for her, though. She’s probably lonely.” 

“Her loss, she put this upon herself. Not us.” 

You pout, “I know, but she was my friend at one point.” 

He frowns, putting an arm behind your backrest. It would be easy for him to say yeah, and she was my girlfriend and one-up you, leaving it at that. But now he knows better, and that friendship is a much better value than an ill-fated relationship. “Sorry baby,” it’s not his fault, but he sees your disappointment in putting out hope for an old friend. He gives you a little smooch on your temple, “do you miss her?” 

“The old her, yeah,” you sigh, clicking on her profile, “but now? I can do without her negativity.” 

“Okay,” he takes your phone from your hand, “have you ever blocked a person before?”

“No.”

“Well, today’s the day,” he says it so coolly, you barely have time to think when he clicks the ‘block’ button on Jisoo’s profile, then clicking off his phone to put in his pocket. “No more phone for today,” he proceeds to take your plate that was recently served, taking the time to cut your large vegetables into smaller portions. “Like you said, we shouldn’t waste your vacation time.” 

Your heart swells with butterflies for Jeon Jungkook, who’s meticulously cutting your food and telling you to relax and stop dwelling on the past. He’s right, if Jisoo’s not going to stick around for the future and continue to cause negativity in your life, why not keep the positives in the past while it lasted? 

“You know I love you, right?” 

He ceases cutting, and looks at you to pop a sweet potato in his mouth. “Love me enough to do it in the cabana?” 

He’s still on that? “Jungkook,” you warn, pretending to get up, “forget I said anything. I’m gonna go karaoke with Umji.” 

“Kiddingggg,” he whines, pulling you back down with an outstretched hand, “you know I love you too.” 

“You’re terrible.” 

“Only this way because I’d know you’d totally be into cabana sex if we were vacationing by ourselves.” 

“Yes, but you’re still terrible,” you giggle when Jungkook steals a kiss, just as easy as he’s stolen your heart.  

[dastardlydandelion]

my thoughts on fear street 1666 now that i finished scrubbing all the toilets, got to go home and watch it

holy shit. that movie. wow. 

it wasn’t as fun as the other two. didn’t employ the same campy tropes. didn’t present itself in a flourish of period typical style. while i enjoyed the first two films paying homage to classic horror tropes and making the most of the stylish side of their respective environments, i am v grateful and relieved that 1666 *wasn’t* as fun as the other two and actually presented the horror of puritan fanaticism and witch accusations more srsly. imo it portrayed that grave, twisting dread that the subject matter calls for. i appreciate that bc i think i would’ve been uncomfortable if they attempted to do smth more campy with the time period given what we already knew abt the circumstances of sarah’s death even before the film. 

more of me blathering on and on abt fear street 1666 under the cut: 

the twist actually worked on me this time. they actually got me on this one, u guys. i rly watched this franchise believing sarah fier was possessing ppl and wreaking her vengeance on the town, but this whole time it was the fuckin’ goodes. nick, i never liked u, i think ur more interesting than i did before before when u were a generic as generic gets asshole, so now ur somewhat more interesting but even bigger of an asshole than i gave u credit for. ur literally the worst asshole of assholes, ur a walking infected hemorrhoidal rectum of a human being. 

don’t get me wrong, i always thought sarah was going to be portrayed sympathetically. i never doubted that. my theory was that sarah was going to be a sympathetic villain. i thought 1666 would’ve revealed why she cursed shadyside. i figured she would’ve cursed her townsfolk for turning their backs on her, maybe, or hurting/killing hannah, or using her for her witchcraft and then getting angry if it backfired on them, or smth like that. i thought we were going to watch a story abt sarah’s descent into darkness and while she’d defo be a tragic villain, she rly would be the person behind the possessions...but it wasn’t even her. she and hannah were just vulnerable to the town’s suspicion and persecution bc they were queer women who didn’t behave the way society wanted them to behave. and they were blamed for evil actually wrought by heterosexual men in power, and when sarah realized there was no way out of it, she took the blame upon herself so hannah was spared and she cursed only the goode family?? 

THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER. FUCK. THAT IS SUCH A BETTER STORY. kudos to this trilogy for being more intelligent than it ever had to be, when it could’ve just skated on the notoriety of the fear street series, the style, and billing notable cast members. 

so yeh, i defo 100% appreciated the goode men from wealthy sunnyvale being revealed as the true villains. i actually got my wish of nick getting killed in the face. i love that sarah possessed deena to do it herself!!! and deena!! oh man, i love deena so much. she was wearing a homebrew vest to protect herself made of fear street novels + duct tape, u gotta love it. ig she wanted to prepare herself since sam stabbed her at the end of 1994. on that note, she’s v active in this film for someone who has a fresh abdominal stab wound and i mean, the situation defo calls for it, but i hope she remembered to properly dress it and take a couple ibuprofen or smth. shit, i’m gettin distracted again. okay!! 

i loved errything that went down in the mall. i adore that josh and adult ziggy got more time to shine. i was so! so! happy at martin’s inclusion on the action. he deserved that after the way nick treated him in 1994. our occupations are also p similar so i defo relate to martin on that front. i loved it all the neon and blacklight stuff at the mall. that part was v stylish, that was p cool. spraying the killers with the blood so they kill each other!! yes! that was perfect!! it was incredibly practical and enjoyable for me, as a gore fan, to watch. 

i liked the sticky note on the wall at the end from deena and josh’s dad, that he had a job interview. i wonder if this is bc the curse of shadyside has been lifted with the end of the goodes?? 

yk, i feel like now knowing what we know abt the actual evil, i gotta wonder how much re-watch value there is to be gleaned from this trilogy. for example, in 1978, nick liked ziggy and didn’t want her to die. he performed cpr on her even tho she’d been stabbed a fuck ton of times and tbvh, the chances of success of resuscitation depending on what exactly it is was ziggy succumbed to seem v slim. at first i attributed this to a suspension of disbelief bc this is fiction (and to be fair crazy do happen sometimes irl, ykw, sometimes reality can surprise u) BUT now i’m sittin here like...was the cpr successful bc nick’s deal with the devil gave him the power to do that?? did his bargaining of others’ souls and offering them up for possession grant him the ability to have some control in that situation somehow? at least more than a normal human being should?? idk. it’s a thought. 

what else, what else? 

i feel like outta the three, 1666 had the most tension overall. i was p gosh darn emo abt the relationships. deena and sam’s relationship i’ve cared abt since the beginning but the contrast of them getting the opportunity to have it and be together, in parallel to the way sarah and hannah’s ended just moves u. or, it moved me at least. sarah tells hannah they’ll go somewhere and kiss in broad daylight before kissing her in almost total darkness, and then the film ends on deena and sam kissing in the sun. i was also glad deena and josh’s sibling relationship got touched on a lil bit more. thought it was cute that she tried to cook for him and produced smth that just dead ass looks inedible. i also thought it was sweet that ziggy reunited with nurse lane. she can do that now, she can leave her house without fearing the return of the curse, and she deserves it. <3

i’m impressed with the trilogy overall. each movie easily could’ve been an r-rated goosebumps episode and imo all were certainly better than that. i feel like each film was better than the previous, but personally enjoyed each one. some things were p predictable but i think much of that is intentional. 1994 and 1978 were clearly paying homage to classic slashers and familiar horror tropes. i personally didn’t find the predictability off-putting bc i recognized what they were trying to do, and felt the quality in the other elements made up for it. i was genuinely shocked by the actual villain reveal, i personally didn’t predict that. again, i always thought sarah was going to be sympathetic and i never liked nick at all, but i didn’t suspect sarah was just. dead ass *not* going to be a villain or that he was going to be the big bad. 

really dug the style of these films. loved that we got an interracial lesbian couple who made it thru the trilogy without either the predatory lesbian trope or the byg trope happening. i liked most of the characters we got to know and the only character who *rly* grated on my nerves was the villain who got stabbed in the eye. 

gosh, i want more fear street movies!! if i had to pick one outta any of the slashers featured, i’d want to see ruby lane’s story. i would like to see this production team milking the most outta the environment in the 50s, the style of the 50s, music, and whatnot. i enjoyed nurse lane even tho she was super bad at murder, so it’d be cool to see her again and who she was before her daughter got possessed and killed 7 ppl. also, ruby sings when she kills?? 

that’s weird and creepy and neat. totally down for it. 

[shotokimchi]

What If?

Summary: Everyone can fall in love, falling for Bakugo gave you a hard time but when you learned that he felt the same, it was too late. Because you were already married.

WARNINGS: +18 SMUT SMUT SMUTTTT! and a lot of Angst.

Note: Kiri called you pebble, did ya’ll see what i did there, nah? ok... (Yagami Yato stans where u at *cough cough*)

“Y/n L/n, will you marry me?” Tears started to well up in your eyes the love of your life, Eijiro Kirishima was on his right knee with a black box in his hand, asking you to be his partner for the rest of his life. Eijiro was the kind of man that every woman would want in her life and you felt so lucky for that. It was your birthday, so Eijiro promised to take you out to dinner and when you got to the restaurant you noticed that bakusquad was there too, waiting for the both of you. After having dinner with your friends and your boyfriend, everyone gave you their presents and Eijiro suddenly stood up and read you his speech it was sweet but he started to get sentimental and it made you emotional as well. He held you by the hand and started to tell how he was so in love with you then in an instant he was on his right knee... “Y-y/n?...” Eijiro's voice woke you up from your thoughts, and you realized you still haven't given him a straight answer. He was starting to panic and you quickly smiled. “S-sorry, i...i’m just so happy Eiji.” he gave a sigh of relief and looked at you with those beautiful ruby eyes. “Yes, a million times yes...”  Eijiro jumped to his feet and hugged you with his strong arms “Wohoo!” Mina popped a bottle of champagne. Sero and Kaminari screamed with joy, but there was someone who kept quiet all night and his name was Katsuki Bakugou. When it came to Katsuki, you'd rather shut up. He was the kid you liked in high school. Even after you finished high school, you continued to love him, and your whole college life was about trying to forget about him.

You were sure Katsuki didn't have anything to do with you, he was very strong and had goals, love wasn't his area of interest so you gave up on your one-sided love and decided to see Katsuki as a friend. After Katsuki, things were getting better. You realized how thoughtful and wonderful Eijiro was, and after a long time, you started believing in love again. 

*Flashback*

“Come on Y/n! This is gonna be our first time attending to a college party!” Mina was trying to persuade you to go to a party hosted by an upperclassmen and after 20 minutes of trying, she was successful. Jirou had bought you a sexy dress and Mina was ready to do your hair. You were so lucky to have Mina and Jiro. They were the only ones who knew about your feelings towards Katsuki and they always supported you. They also knew about your new feelings towards Eijiro and they were giving their all to help. You weren’t in love with Eijiro, at least not yet. Everything was happening so fast, after finishing high school and trying to forget everything about Katsuki you were only focusing on your training and your grades. Your new blossoming relationship with Eijiro was exciting, it was just a little crush nothing big.

-

“This place is on fire, lets dance!” Mina started swaying her hips and Jiro joined her on the dance floor, after complaining for fifteen minutes, you started dancing with your friends and for a short while you forgot everything that bothered you.  Mina found you a cup of beer and the three of you started drinking. “I think i saw Kaminari and Sero!” Jirou shouted bc of the loud music and Mina wiggled her eyebrows “That means Kirishima is here too! Lets go show him your dress Y/n, you look sexy and im sure he is gonna fall for you!” You covered your face with your hands and Mina laughed then you started to feel dizzy, you werent a heavy drinker after all but the feeling of the beat and the alcohol in your veins was urging you to dance some more, then your back collided with a toned one and the smell of caramel flooded your senses, your heartbeat quickened. You knew that smell very well but you didnt wanted to turn around and confirm it. Then you felt his hands on your hips “Katsuki...?” He rested his chin on your shoulder and the both of you started to move with a slow pace. “...Short dress.” It was obvious, he was drunk. But it wasnt impossible to form a conversation so you asked “My dress?” He nodded. “Why are you here Katsuki? I didnt knew that you were a party person.” He scoffed “Dunce face forced me to come here.” You smiled at the nickname that he used for Kaminari, he was the same Katsuki, it didnt matter if he was in high school or college. He was the same... So forgetting your feelings for him was the best desicion you have ever made. “Where is Kirishima?” He raised his head and you turned to meet his eyes but your nose touched his and a slight tinge of pink dusted your cheeks, you didnt knew if it was bc of the alcohol or not “He’s not here.” He answered but started to lean closer and closer... Then his lips were on yours, it was slow but hot then his tounge licked your bottom lip and your mouth opened, welcoming his tounge. “Lets get out of here...” He sighed into your mouth and you nodded. You didnt care about anything else, everything around you was about Bakugou. The smell of caramel, the warmth of his hands, you always wanted to feel him, always wanted to touch him. The house was big so Bakugou dragged you towards the stairs and both of you clumsily reached the 2nd floor, he opened one of the doors and when the both of you got in, he immediately locked it. There was a clean bed, it was untouched. He yanked off his black dress shirt and pushed you onto the bed, his lips crashed with yours and he earned a moan from you, that excited him even more, his hands found the hem of your dress and rough scarred hands slowly made their way towards your thighs. “Do you want this?” His crimson eyes took your breath away, his gaze was so intense and you only managed to nod. You wrapped your arms around his neck and inhaled his scent “I wanted you for so long...” That took him by surprise but he didnt took it seriously bc you were drunk. He really wanted to believe your words, he liked you for so long but didnt said anything bc of his goals and all he just didnt wanted to got distracted. On top of that, he was terrible when it came to expressing his feelings to someone else, especially to you since he was crazy about you but everything was going to be okay bc he was going to confess to you tonight. “Same here.” Your breath hitched in your throat, he wanted you too? No, this couldnt be true, he was saying this stuff bc he was drunk, just like you. “Katsu... come on.” The nickname made his heart pound, he started to leave open mouthed kisses on your jawline and he nipped at your neck, when you mewled into his ear he bit down, hard. “A-ah, Katsu...” Then he licked the abused spot and found the zipper on your back, when his eyes met with your matched lingerie set, he smirked “Naughty girl~” Licking your collarbone, he threw the dress onto the floor and unbuckled his belt. His grey boxer felt tight around his crotch, his long fingers found the wet spot that formed on your panties “Someone’s getting excited~” You averted your gaze and he grabbed your chin “Keep your eyes on me Y/n.” He slowly took of your panties and slid his index finger into your core, you gave a pleasant sigh and started to buck your hips he was relieved, even though he looked confident the last thing he wanted you to feel was pain, his thumb found your clit and you cried out. “F-faster, Katsuki!” His smirk widened and he added his middle finger and quickened the pace. “You are holding onto my fingers for dear life, sexy~” Your thighs started to shake then it came crashing down on you, with a loud moan you came around his fingers. You were panting and trying to get yourself together then you saw his fingers, he was playing with your juices “See this Y/n?” He shoved them into his mouth and sucked them clean, your body was on fire. “Get on all fours baby.” He ordered and you placed yourself on your elbows and knees, he pushed your waist onto the mattress. For a moment there was silence so you opened your mouth wanting more from him but a harsh smack landed on your ass. “Ah!” You shouted and buried your face into the pillow “Thats it baby, let me hear you!” Then he activated his quirk and landed a smack onto the other one. “K-katsuki!” Then he checked the drawers of the nightstand and luckily managed to find a condom package. Then you felt it, his tip was pressing into your entrance “Y/n, are you ready?” His breath was erratic and the both of you were so excited “Yeesh~” You moaned out and he chuckled, then with a swift move, he pushed every inch of him into your tight cunt. You screamed and he started to thrust with a stable pace “Feels good...” He managed to breath out and started to quicken his pace. The both of you were moaning like horny animals and the sound of slapping skin was filling the room “K-katsu please, faster!” Your moans and pleas only boosted his ego and he let out a pleased growl “Scream for me!” Then he thrusted into you with full force and it made you shove your face into the pillow, your moans got louder and louder, then your fingers found your clit and drew messy circles. Then he yanked you towards him and pressed your back to his chest, he squeezed your mounds and nipped at your neck “Katsuki, oh god!” Then you came around him and his thrusts turned messy “Fuck Y/n, fuck fuck FUCK-” with the last thrust, he came and both of you panted. He layed onto his back and pulled you to his chest, after gaining his composure he started to talk “Y/n i- damn it, i like you for years now and fuck- even if you tell me to fuck off i just wanted you to know.” He closed his eyes and prepared hisself for rejection but the only thing he heard was your light snoring so he sighed with dissapointment. “When the morning comes, i’ll tell you.”

-

But he couldnt, bc when he woke up, you were gone. After that night, the energy between you and Katsuki was very strange, you were always avoiding him, and Katsuki chose to leave you alone. After two weeks of avoiding Katsuki and getting advice from Jirou and Mina, you decided to give him a call and talk things out. You felt disgusting, leaving and avoiding him, doing things like this while starting to feel some things for Eijiro... But you and Eiji weren’t a thing so it was not a crime is it? Yes, it was a crime but for you. Loyalty was so important to you and here you were, gettin drunk and having sex with your old crush.

-

Katsuki was in the living room while Kirishima was making some protein shake, Kaminari and Sero were out meeting with some of their old friends. Kirishima noticed the weird atmosphere between you and Katsuki but didnt wanted to talk about it since you avoided the topic several times and Katsuki just told him to ‘fuck off’ he wasn’t offended, this was Katsuki’s way of expressing his emotions and they were best friends, so Kirishima decided to give him some space. When he finished preparing his protein shake aka ‘KIRISHAKE’ he walked towards the living room and saw Katsuki, looking out of the window with a thoughtful look on his face. “Whats up bro?” Katsuki turned and looked at his best friend and immediately felt bad, he was still smiling and doing everything he could to make Katsuki feel better even if he was acting like a jerk for two weeks. “Tch, you blind? Im sitting.” Kirishima laughed and a soft smile appeared on Katsuki’s face, he was so lucky to have Kirishima by his side, he hated himself for laying with the crush of his best buddy but he couldnt help it, he loved you too, no matter how many times he told himself to forget about you, it wasnt working. The guilt felt heavy on his shoulders bc today, Eijiro was supposed to took you on a date but you called him and postponed it and told him that you were supposed to see your relatives. “So Bakubro, lets play Mortal Combat!” Kiri’s voice woke him up from his thoughts and he nodded, but just when he was about to grab the console, his phone buzzed in his pocket. There was a message, from you. His eyes popped out of their sockets and he got up from his seat. “Bro?” Kirishima was looking at him with a confused expression “Wait here.” Katsuki dashed towards his shared room with Kirishima and slammed the door shut, he immediately unlocked his phone and read your message.

Y/n: Katsuki, can we talk? Im gonna send you a location of where i am, please come.

After wearing his grey sweatpants, he checked his appereance and immediately grabbed the keys of his car, just when he was about to open the door of the shared apartment Eijirou’s voice stopped him in his tracks “Bakugou, where are you going?” Kiri had a worried expression on his face and Bakugou’s stomach twisted with anxiety. “The old hag just messaged me, uh... I should leave.” Kiri grabbed his arm and Katsuki tensed “Bro, if something is wrong let me help.” At this point, Katsuki wanted to punch himself in the face, instead of gettin suspicious, Kirishima was still concerned about his wellbeing. Katsuki sighed and shook his head “I’ll tell you later, Kirishima.” Then he left.

-

You were sitting on a bench, playing with your fingers, waiting for Katsuki to come. For these two weeks you couldn't look Kirishima in the eye, you were disgusted with yourself, and you hated yourself for ignoring Katsuki. You’ve had enough so figuring things out with Katsuki was going to be your first attempt to fix things. Then you spotted a black car and immediately recognized it, it belonged to Katsuki. Then the front door of the car opened and you eyed his muscular figure, he was flawless. He spotted you and hesitated, then you gave a small smile, he relaxed and slowly approached you. “Hey.” you breathed out and he sat at the opposite side of the bench, then he gave a small nod. After some minutes of silence, he decided to break it “You said you wanted to talk?” You slightly jumped and turned towards him, he was already looking towards your direction so your e/c eyes met with his crimson ones. “Katsuki, i....i’m sorry.” When he didnt give a response, you took that as a sign to continue “I didnt wanted to ignore you but... i felt disgusting.” Then you saw something flash in his eyes, was that hurt? “D-dont get me wrong! I was disgusted with myself, it doesnt have anything to do with you...” His eyes softened and eyed your tired form, all he wanted to do was confess his feelings but just when he was about to open his mouth, your voice started to shake “You know that Eijirou and i are growing closer and... I felt disgusting because, i-i love him.” His heart stopped beating and after all these years, Katsuki Bakugou felt like crying. “You love him?” He asked and you hesitated, you were feeling some things towards Eijiro but... Was it love? It should be, right? “Y-yeah.” Then he remembered the thing you said at the party, when you were alone in one of the rooms. *I wanted you for so long...* So you told him that just bc you were drunk... “I see.” His voice cracked and he quickly stood up. “Lets forget about it.” Your eyes started to fill with tears and you only managed to nod. Your heart felt heavy and you felt like the same Y/n in high school, the one who was in love with Katsuki Bakugou. You forced a fake smile and nodded “Yeah, lets forget about it.”

-

After your conversation with Bakugou, he distanced himself. You wanted to talk with him, you wanted to be friends but you didnt wanted to force him. On the other hand, Eijiro took you out on several dates and you were falling in love with him but this time, it was real. Shortly after, Eijiro asked you to be his girlfriend and you happily agreed. You and Eijiro were so happy and everything seemed fine, but your best friend Mina was trying to make sense of Bakugo's strange attitude. As much as you didn't wanted to believe it, she claimed several times that Bakugou could have a crush on you. Mina wasnt satisfied so she decided to talk with Bakugo, she talked with Jirou and after getting her support, she dialed Katsuki’s number. Luckily, he answered.

Katsuki: “What do you want, Pinky?”

Mina: “Hey Bakugou! Its nice to hear your voice. Can we talk?”

Katsuki: “Hurry up Pinky, i need to go for a run.”

Mina: “No i mean, face to face.”

Bakugou sighed, he was running out of patience but judging from Mina’s serious tone, he knew it was important.

Katsuki: “Whatever.”

Mina: “Great! Let’s meet at the cafe that we used to go when we were in high school. I’m already on my way, see ya.”

-

“Bakugou, right here!” Mina waved, she was sitting at the corner with a cup of coffe in her hands. Bakugou scoffed but walked towards her and sat down. He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he was nervous. Mina immediately sensed his anxiety “Dont be nervous Bakugo, im your friend.” Bakugou’s eyes slightly widened but he quickly recovered. “What do you want Pinky?” Mina sighed and nodded “Listen, you are acting strange Bakugou whenever we are hanging out, you’re less talktive end energetic than usual.” Bakugou tched “You are making zero sense.” Mina raised a brow and smirked “You are my friend, i know you well enough. Everyone noticed the changes in your behaviour, Kaminari and Sero are worried especially Eijiro.” Bakugou kept silent and Mina decided to ask the main question “Bakugou, whenever you saw Y/n you always make an excuse to leave or keep quiet. Did you guys had a fight?” Bakugou panicked and his eyes met Mina’s worried ones. He shook his head “Nothing happened, idiot.” Mina’s suspicion was growing “Bakugou do you have a... um, i dont know how to say this. Do you have feelings for Y/n?” Bakugou jumped in his seat and knocked the coffe cup that was sitting on the table. “What the hell Racoon Eyes?!” His heart was pounding like crazy, was it too obvious? Mina’s eyes softened, he was in love. “Bakugou, its ok. Everyone can fall in love, even you.” Bakugou growled “What’s that supposed to mean?!” Mina giggled and her expression turned serious “Bakugou, Eijiro is my friend but you are too. But... to be honest, im so mad at you, arent you supposed to be an observer?” Bakugou was confused, so he continued to listen “Y/n... She was in love with you for 4 years.” Bakugou’s breath hitched in his throat, every bone in his body were shaking. You were feeling the same? No. It was in the past... But was there hope? Mina’s expression changed to a pained one, she was readin him like an open book “Bakugou no, you are too late. She is already in love with Eijiro, so dont ruin their relationship, Eijiro loves her.” And with that, she stood up and gave him a small smile, Katsuki’s mind was racing, he didnt wanted to believe the fact that you were over him. He immediately stood up, get into his car and started to drive towards the agency you were working at. When he arrived, he confessed everything to you and made things worse, your heart was screaming for Eiji but it was aching, what if you confessed at high school? Would things be the same? You cried and before you knew it, his arms were around you. Silent tears fell from his eyes, everything came crashing down on him. Pain, guilt, longing... “Katsuki, we’re too late...” It was like a whisper but he managed to hear it and his arms tightened their hold around you “Y/n...”

*End of flashback*

Eijiro was driving the car while singing happily to one of his favourite songs, his one hand was on the steering wheel while the other one was resting on your thigh. “Thanks for tonight, baby.” You leaned and planted a kiss on his cheek, he laughed “You missed my lips babe!” You started to laugh and grabbed his hand. “I’m so lucky to have you, Eiji.” 

-

“Eiji, i cant find the keys.” You were looking for the keys of your shared apartment then Eiji chuckled and you turned to look at him. “Are you looking for these?~” You pouted and tried to reach for the keys “Thats sneaky!” He laughed and his other hand grabbed you by the waist, your chest collided with his and a lustful look clouded his face. Your breathing was starting to get heavier, he leaned towards you and closed the distance, the kiss was sweet at first but it turned to something steamy and rough. “Ei~” You moaned into his mouth and he opened the door “Jump, pebble~” you hopped and wrapped your legs around his waist. He was nipping at you earlobe while walking towards the bedroom. He gently placed you onto the bed and just when he was about to take of his black dress shirt, you stopped him. “Take a seat, Red Riot. Let me take care of you~” He sat onto the bed and separated his legs. You massaged his thighs and started to unbuckle his belt, when your hand brushed against his crotch, he hissed and it made you smirk. When you got rid off his pants, his erection was poking through his underwear. “Dont tease me pebble come on~” He moaned out and you started to stroke him with a slow pace, just when he was about to tell you to go faster, you took him into your mouth. His precum left a salty taste in your mouth, after circling the tip with your tounge, you started to bob your head with a steady pace. “Oh, Y/n...” He gave a pleased sigh then started to move his hips. His right hand started to massage your scalp and slowly gripped your h/c locks. “You are amazing, pebble~” Then his hips started to move faster and it made you gag around him. “Just like that, oh- Y/n, look at me.” Your teary eyes met his lustful ones and he growled “Beautiful, so beautiful...” It only got rougher, he was  fucking your face in a merciless way. “I’m c-coming Y/n!” Your moans vibrated around his cock and with a powerful thrust he spilled everything in your mouth. You swallowed and opened your mouth to show him what you did, waiting for his praise. He chuckled, his thumb started to stroke your puffy lips. “You did such a great job, baby girl~” Then he layed onto his back and you crawled towards him, You sat onto his semi-hard member and started to grind your hips. Your panties were soaked, after throwing your dress onto the floor you unhooked your bra and Eiji’s hands immediately found their way to your breasts. “You are so wet, pebble~” Your load moans were like music to his ears. “Ei~ please...” He pushed your panties to the side and started to draw some firm circles around your clit. “Ei, i want you...” He smirked and the tip of his member started to push into you “Ride me, baby girl.” You sinked down onto his member and his hips started to buck. You placed your hands onto his firm chest and started to bounce with a fast pace. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck-” Your eyes were closed shut, the only words that leaving your mouth were some curses. “You’re clenching down on me Y/n, fuck-” Eijiro started to thrust from below and your movements got faster and faster, it was unbearable you wanted to cum so bad. Eijiro’s fingers were drawing messy circles around your swollen bud. A weird feeling enveloped you but you paid no mind and continued to bounce on your lover. “S-something’s coming, Ei!” Eiji interwined his fingers with yours and moaned encouragin words “Its okay baby, c-come on~” Then everything turned white and you screamed “E-eijiro!”, your juices coated his member “H-holy fuck, you just squirted! So sexy~” Then he gave some sloppy thrusts and came inside of you, painting your walls with white strings of cum. Both of you panted and you collapsed on top of him, his arms wrapped around you and Eijiro kissed your temple. “I love you, pebble.” A soft smile crept its way onto your face and you replied “I love you too.”

-

“I dont wanna do it, im so scared!” You werent feeling so well and decided to call your friends, Mina and Jirou. You were having terrible stomach aches and you were always getting dizzy, you just thought that it wasnt important but Mina and Jirou said something that made your heart stop. “No, what is you’re pregnant?!” Mina replied. Even though you said you didn't need to take the pregnancy test, they were not convinced. “Y/n, we are concerned about your well being” Jirou took your hands in hers and gave you a soft smile, sighing you grabbed the test and walked towards the bathroom. Your hands were shaking, what if you were really pregnant? Well, you always wanted to build a family with Eijiro but you guys werent even married, he was already busy with hero work and working on wedding preparations only made things harder for him. You didnt wanted to him to get stressed over the baby, what if he didnt wanted to have kids? What if he leaves you? Tears started to well up in your eyes and you took a look at the pregnancy test and when you did, your heart stoppped beating. There were two pink lines, it was positive. Your legs gave up on you and loud sobs were bouncing on the walls, your friends heard you and rushed in. “Y/n are you okay?!” Mina shouted and they saw your shaking form. Jirou quickly embraced you and tried to whisper calming things “It’s okay Y/n, everything is gonna be okay...” Your nails started to dig into her shirt and tears soaked her shoulder. Mina crouched down and started to draw calming circles on your back, “It’s okay just cry and try to relax.” Your paranoia scared you even more, you didnt wanted Eiji to leave you, he was the love of your life, your tears continued to fall like little raindrops. “Wh-what if he leaves me, i love him s-so much...” Both of the girls stopped their movements and shared a sad look, Eijiro was a good guy, he would never leave someone behind, especially the love of his life... Jirou took a deep breath and patted your had “No, im sure he’s gonna get surprised but Eijiro is not a cruel guy, its the exact opposite.” Mina nodded and tried to cheer you up “Yeah! He loves you as much as you love him, dont stress yourself with these kind of thoughts, its not healthy for the baby!” Your sobs turned into quiet whimpers and sniffles. “Lets choose a movie and have some ice cream!” Mina suggested and Jirou nodded, a small smile appeared on your face and the girls sighed with relief “Y-yeah, lets do that.”

-

When the night came, the anxiety made its way to your stomach. Eijiro was still working and you were trying to think about a way tell him that you got pregnant. Then you heard the front door and started to take deep breaths. “Baby, im home!” Eijiro’s tired but happy voice broke your heart, he was working too hard. Then you felt muscular arms around your waist and a muscular chest pressed itself to your back. “I got a call from your agency, why didnt you go to work?” When you kept silent, Eijiro started to get worried and tightened his hold on you “Y/n?” Your body started to shake, you couldnt wait any longer, it was eating you up inside. “Ei-eijiro” He started to pepper your neck with kisses “Tell me what happened baby, you can tell me anything.” You took a shaky breath and managed to croak out a “I’m pregnant.” When he didnt give you an answer, panic started to well up inside of you and you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing yourself for the worst. “W-what, are you serious?” You nodded and waited, it was over. But instead, his arms squeezed you tighter and he buried his face into the crook of your neck. “I... love you so much Eijiro. If you want to leave, then-” He cut you off “No! We did this together and im staying with you until the end, i know that its too early for a kid, we are about to get married but that doesnt mean that im gonna give up on our child!” His words squeezed your heart and you hated yourself for questioning his love and loyalty. You turned around and faced him, when he eyed your shaking form his eyes softened and he pulled you in a sweet meaningful kiss. “I love you Y/n and only you.” Your arms wrapped around his neck and you took a whiff of his scent “Thank you for always being with me, Eijiro.” This was your fiancé, Kirishima Eijiro. The sweetest man on earth.

-

When the weekend came, Eijiro left the house to meet with the boys of the ‘bakusquad’. He was going to share with his friends that Y/n was pregnant, he was very excited but nervous at the same time. He knew that his friends would never judge him but this was something different, he was going to be a father. When he got to the bar, he saw his friends sitting at the usual table, drinking and chatting. “Hey guys, having fun without me?” Denki and Sero welcomed him with a wide grin while Bakugou acknowledged his best friend with a nod. Kirishima sat down and after having a glass of beer, he decided to bring the ‘important topic’ to the table. “So, uh... You guys know that Y/n and i are getting married soon.” Denki dramatically sighed “Man, dont rub it on our face like that, we know that we are lonely as hell~” Sero laughed and Bakugou rolled his eyes. Kirishima chuckled and started to scratch his neck “The thing is, uh...” Bakugou raised a brow and started to observe his best friend, why was he nervous? “Just spit it out, shitty hair.” Sero raised a brow and eyed his redheaded friend “You okay man? You guys didnt get in a fight, right?” Kirishima shook his head and sighed “No, its just... Y/n uh she-” With the mention of your name, Bakugou gave all of his attention to Kirishima. “Y/n is pregnant.” Kaminari choked on his drink and Sero’s brain was having a hard time with processing his friends words. Bakugou’s heart shattered to pieces, he knew that he had lost you completely when you said yes to Kirishima but hearing the fact that you were pregnant was wrecking him. Before he could even think, his mouth opened by itself and let out a “What the fuck?” Kirishima looked hurt and Kaminari interfered “Wow wow okay, we know that you are surprised bro we all are but that was kinda rude.” Sero patted Kirishima on the shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look “How are you guys handling the situation?” Kirishima licked his lips and sighed “Well we didnt expect something like this to happen but im gonna be there for her.” There was gentleness in his words and Sero smiled “She is lucky to have you, Kirishima.” Bakugou clenched his teeth, Sero was right. Kirishima had something that he didnt, gentleness. Denki smirked and tried to lighten up the mood “You guys are pretty active huh~?” With that, Kirishima’s face turned red just like his hair “K-kaminari!” Bakugou didnt wanted to think the things that you and Kiri were doing, he didnt wanted to imagine you laying in Eijiro’s arms. “A-aren’t you gonna say something, Bakubro?” Kirishima’s question caught him off guard and he saw the pleading look in Kiri’s eyes. He wanted to hear his opinion, Kiri always came to Bakugou for advice and this time it wasnt any different. “Didnt mean to sound rude. Congrats, weird hair.” Kirishima gave him a soft smile “Thanks bro.” Katsuki’s eyes softened, he couldnt stay mad at you or Kirishima, you guys were in love after all and it was going to happen sooner or later.

-

After that, you and Kirishima quickly got married, all of your friends attended to the wedding even Mr.Aizawa was there, you were so happy and Katsuki slowly accepted the fact that you were now his best friends wife.You were in the 4th month of your pregnancy and Eijiro forced you to take a break from hero work. The bump in your tummy was visible but you were still going on walks to stay healthy, Katsuki was visiting you and bringin you some stuff for the baby, you didnt asked for it and seeing him regularly was weird but you two managed to grow closer and closer. It was just like in high school, joking and laughing together... Even he was so busy with hero stuff, he was trying to pay you a visit. Kirishima was so happy that the love of his life and his best friend was getting along well just like it was used to be. It was a regular day for you as usual, waking up, going for a run then taking a quick shower, reading your favourite book and baking some delicious cookies for your husband and friends. After baking some delicious chocolate chip cookies, you devorated them on a plate and left them on the kitchen island for later. It was already 3:00 pm so you decided to watch a movie but the knock on your door stopped you. “Coming!” Eijirou, Bakugou and the girls were still at work so you wondered who decided to visit you this early, when you opened the door, you saw the hotheaded blond with grocery bags in his hands “Katsu?!” The nickname you used always had an effect on him. “What are you doing here, arent you supposed to be at work?!” He rolled his eyes and smirked “What, you arent gonna let me in?” He was always teasing you and you were always falling for it, he loved the expressions that you made. “N-no, ofc not Bakugou, i love your company!” You moved to the side and he took off his shoes, just when you were about to take the bags from his hands, he scoffed “Dont lift heavy things.” You smiled and nodded, “I made chocolate chip cookies, want some?” He rolled his eyes “Geez Y/n, you are consuming too much sugar.” You chuckled and ushered him to the kitchen. You made some tea and handed him a mug, the both of you sat with comfortable silence. “So Ground Zero, mind telling me why you wanted to pay a visit this early?” Hearing his hero name from you, made his heart flutter. “Just finished some paperwork and wanted to see how you’re doing.” Your cheeks grew warmer and you gave him a goofy smile “Awww, thank you Katsu!” He averted his eyes and tried to blush on his cheeks, these four months were so hard for him, you were right in front of him but it felt so far away. He wanted to tell how he felt and he was going to do it. “Y/n, we need to talk.” You took a sip from your mug and nodded “Sure Katsu, you can tell me anything.” He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen Y/n, this isnt something easy to talk about, do you remember the night we had, while we’re in college?” Your eyes widened and memories from your past started to cloud your mind “W-what are you trying to say, Katsuki?” He sighed and looked at you with sad eyes. “Y/n im in love with you. It’s been fuck- like what 11 years?” Your hands started to shake and your breath hitched in your throat, what were you hearing? Was it true, if it was that meant the feelings you had in high school was mutual. Tears started to well up in your eyes, why was he telling you this, you were carrying his best friend’s baby, you were in love with Eijiro. But what if you were carrying his child instead, what would happen then, would you be happy? “K-katsuki...” He shook his head and sighed “No, Y/n. You dont need to tell me anything, if i knew you had a crush on me sooner, things could have been different, i had goals and i didnt thought that you were feeling the same.” His voice cracked and his crimson eyes shined with tears. Your eyes met with his and you slowly stood up. Even if you were in love with Eijiro, Katsuki was your first love and there was a part of you that still loved him. Your shaky hands grabbed his and his eyes widened “I’m sorry for being a coward, Katsuki.” He clenched his teeth “No! If i told you how i felt-” You cut him off by wrapping your arms around his torso and the both of you quietly cried for the loss of the years. “Y/n, let me...” He tightened his hold on you and rested his forehead on yours, you nodded and closed your eyes. He slowly lovered his face and his soft lips met with yours. Katsuki Bakugou was your first love and this was his way of saying goodbye, he didnt wanted to suffer anymore, he didnt wanted to feel the pain in his heart whenever he saw you with Eijiro...

-

The last five months of your pregnancy flowed like water and in the end, you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Her name was Kaori and she looked just like you but her red ruby eyes was just like his fathers. After Kaori’s 1st birthday, you started working again and your mother was looking after your daughter. Kirishima was the sweetest dad ever, he was doing everything he could to help you and Katsuki was protective when it came to the little girl. Mina was always buying her a new Red Riot onesie and Jirou was always singing her the best lullabies.

-

After dropping Kaori at your mothers place, you started driving towards your agency and texted Eijiro that you were going to be busy. When you got to the agency they immediately called you for backup. There were a chaotic villain group and you left with some of the pros. The buildings were on fire and some of the pro’s were badly injured, you even saw some of your old friends. Then you heard a scream, it belonged to a little girl. Her sobs were so loud and it was coming from a burning building, before you could think of anything, your legs started to move towards the building. Your quirk was called ‘Telekinesis’ and it made you control objects and sometimes humans. “Help me, mommy!” Your heart shattered to pieces and you quickly activated your quirk, after moving the rubbles to the side you managed to spot the girl but she was at the 4th floor. You ran into the building and started to call for her “Hey, little girl where are you!” you continued to shout and run, then you heard it “Im here, please help!” You kicked the door open and saw the girl, sitting on the floor. Tears were flowing from her eyes and you crouched down “Im gonna take you out of here!” Then just when you were about to carry her, she started to laugh and it turned to a scary one. “Ahahahaha!” Your eyes widened and the girl transformed into a scary man, “W-what is this?!” it was a trap, he was a villain. “Bye bye, hero.” Everything happened so fast, you felt something sharp in your chest and tried to look at it. Then your legs started to tremble and you fell to the floor, blood was everywhere, it was yours. The villain managed to shot you in the chest. A warm feeling surrounded you and the people you love came into your mind. Kaori; your little girl, Katsuki your first love and friend, Mina, Jirou then Eijiro, the love of your life, the best husband ever, the reason of your happiness. “E-eiji...” Tears fell from your eyes and everything turned dark.

-

Eijiro was trying to reach you for hours, the last thing he got from you was a text message, saying you’ll be busy bc of work. He was getting worried because there was a dangerous case going on and he knew you went there for help. Just when he was about to ask for permission to leave, his phone started buzzing and he quickly answered “Hello?” a woman started to speak “Hello, is this Mr. Kirishima?” His heart started to beat faster, there was an uneasy feeling in his gut. “I’m calling you from the hospital, we wanted to inform you about Mrs.Kirishima’s condition.” With the mention of your name the world stopped spinning “W-what happened to my wife?!” The woman sighed and there was a long pause “Mr.Kirishima can you please come to the hospital?” He quickly hung up, he didnt know what to do. What if something happened to you, what was he supposed to do? The only person he could call was Bakugou, so he did that. Katsuki tried his best to calm Kirishima down and both males started to drive towards the hospital.

-

“Bakugou!” Katsuki turned towards the voice, it was Kirishima. His teeth were clenched and he was running towards the reception. Bakugou came to the hospital before Kirishima and tried to gather some information about you but the nurses were so stubborn they were waiting for Eijiro to come. “Where’s my wife, where is Y/n?!” He started to shout and Bakugou grabbed his arm. “Bakugou, where is Y/n?!” Bakugou shook his head “Calm down, Kirishima. I know that you are worried but you are not helping.” Katsuki tried to sound calm but his voice was shaking, he knew something was wrong. The nurses werent saying a thing, he wanted to see you, he wanted to wrap his arms around you and never let you go. Then the doctor arrived, he had a melancholic look on his face. “Mr.Kirishima?” Kirishima and Bakugou turned towards the voice and Kirishima shouted “I want to see my wife!” When the doctor kept silent Katsuki’s blood started to boil “Say something, damn it!” They both wanted to see you, they both wanted to kiss you, protect you. “Mrs,Kirishima got shot by a villain and lost a lot of blood.” Eijiro’s heart started to ache and the air left his lungs, Katsuki was in shock he didnt know what to think, his eyes were wide, trembling. “We tried everything we could, im sorry...” And with that Kirishima collapsed to the ground, his painful sobs were echoing throught the corridors “Y/n!” His body was trembling, the love of his life were gone... Katsuki’s hands found his hair and started to tug at the blond locks. Tears were falling from his eyes, he let out a painful scream and hated himself for not being there to protect you...

-

When the funeral come to and end, Katsuki wanted to see her grave for one more time, there were flowers in his hand. “Y/n...” It was like a whisper, after crying for so long, he couldnt find the energy to speak. His heart was shattered to pieces, everything felt empty, the world wasnt colorful anymore, everything felt either black or white. “I thought you'd be here.” When he heard his best friend’s voice, he turned to see a broken Eijiro. He tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace, both men stood in silence then Eijiro started to speak “I knew that you were in love with her.” Katsuki’s eyes widened and he couldnt meet Eijiro’s gaze. “How?” He managed to croak out. “You are my best friend, i know you more than anyone else.” Katsuki felt like dying, these three days were horrible, he lost the love of his life and now he was going to lose Eijiro’s friendship too but just when he was preparing himself for Eijiro’s harsh words, Eijiro pulled him into a hug. “I cant blame you for falling in love with her, she was amazing.” Katsuki started to tremble and hugged him back, he was harshly nodding. “She left us a piece of her, i cant love anyone else but im not gonna let Kaori suffer because she doesnt have a mother.” Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut and continued to nod. Both men cried together for the loss of their love, for the woman they fell for. After calming down a little Katsuki opened his mouth “We’re gonna take care of Kaori, we gonna make her the happiest girl in the world for Y/n.” Kirishima smiled at his friend’s promise and nodded “For Y/n.”

-

“Hey Y/n, i cant believe twelve years had passed. It’s like you were here yesterday, our daughter is a beautiful lady now, she is so energetic and full of positivity, just like us. Everyone misses you so much, especially me. When i wake up, i want to feel your warmth beside me, i want to see your beautiful face after a long day at work. Your clothes are still in our closet, i dont want your scent to go away, our pictures are still on the walls of our house. Kaori always looks at them and tells me how beautiful you are. She is right, you are the most beautiful woman in this whole existence. Kaori loves chocolate chip cookies, when i told her that they were your favourite she wanted to make them and now we are always baking cookies with uncle Katsuki and aunt Mina. Jirou also visits us regularly and sings her the most beautiful melodies. Kaminari and Sero always make stupid faces to make her laugh, Midoriya and Shoto bought her some presents, you should’ve seen her face! She loves all of our friends but she loves Katsuki the most, she always calls him ‘Uncle Suki’. Katsuki and i promised each other to pay you a visit regularly. We missed you Y/n, we missed you so much. God, i wasnt going to cry but i cant help it baby, without you there is always something empty but i promise you that no matter what happens, im going to make our daughter the happiest in the world, you are her hero and she wants to be strong, just like you.”

-From, Eijiro

After putting the letter at the side of your grave Kirishima smiled softly and looked at his right, Katsuki was standing with a small smile on his face, then Kaori broke the silence “See you soon mom, i love you!” They both ruffled her hair and Kaori linked his arms with his father’s “Dad, uncle! Lets make some chocolate chips cookies.” Katsuki smirked “Dont eat too much sugar, brat.” Kaori pouted but laughed. Your absence was painful but they were going to make good memories, for you...

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

My Feelings About Bradford Buzzard And His Grandmother

First, If No One Has Seen The Last Episode of The Final Season of Ducktales Reboot with the Last Adventure, do not read this unless you seen that episode first.

okay here goes...

My feelings on Bradford's Grandmother, I don't like her.

she is the reason Bradford became the way he is in the first place.

plus whenever Bradford tried to reason with Scrooge, he got ignored, so of

course he had to use the papyrus to make Scrooge, Della and Donald forget he was ever there. even if he did transform into a monster,

it wouldn't be because he's evil. it would be from the negative emotions and the misinterpretation people have of him, so he isn't truly a villain, if anything he is a victim and that jerk of a Finch is the root of it all.

Even if she is Scrooge's hero, but even he would need to accept that she was a insensitive woman who caused a child trauma that led him to grow-up cold and truly alone.

Yes Bradford made mistakes, but he was blinded.

He tried to keep chaos from going out of control, even if it meant doing something that would hurt a family, which he shouldn't of did and that had crossed a line.

I don't believe that Bradford was truly evil, he was just a broken soul who wanted to stop dangerous adventures and possibly save those like him from suffering the same trauma he suffered since his childhood.

No one has to agree with me, but I just feel that most villains have good in them.

And most of their trauma and suffering are caused by the good guys or the main hero/heroine.

Plus No Hero or Heroine should be above the consequences of damaging someone else's life,

Either they be another hero or villain or a neutral party.

Scrooge wasn't truly at fault for what happen to Della, but if you think about it, it was 100% Della's.

She could of not stole the ship, but she did. and it because she chose to listen to the one who told her of the surprise, she could of chose to ignore it and act surprise later, and not cause her family to end up they it did.

Scrooge didn't mean for to become lost in space, but he isn't excused for some truly heartless things he has done in the past because of his greed before he found the true greatest treasure, which is his family.

He hurt Magica, and I believe the reason why they had that fight so long ago in the series, is because she wanted to get him back for what happen to her brother.

Even if Louie made a good point, that his villains/enemies, made him a better person.

That still doesn't excuse him for purposely not helping someone who asked for help, even saying they give him anything if he help them.

The pain that Scrooge felt when he lost Della, was perhaps the same feeling that Magica felt when she lost her brother and never saw him again.

I believe that the Phantom Blot, might really be Mr Vanderquack, Bentina Beakley's son-in-law,

Who is now a widow, who lost his wife and Bentina's biological granddaughter, before Webby came along.

But the biological granddaughter could of survived, while Edna Beakley-Vanderquack did not.

the reason why Blot wants to destroy all magic and Magica,

might have to do with the fact that he lost his wife Edna and his child.

If the incident happen before Webby was born, then I think Pepper might really be Bentina's Granddaughter.

But all that is just a theory.  if the story picks up in a Darkwing Duck Reboot and reveals that the theory about Phantom Blot being Mr Vanderquack, the widow of Edna, and Pepper being his long-lost daughter is true....then I guess I would be surprised.

But yeah back to the whole Isabella Finch, she is truly not as great as everyone makes her.

She caused Bradford to become who he is, and she couldn't see the damage it would cause later in his life.

Plus I believe that there was a reason why we saw a clone of Bradford, the real Bradford might of known what would happen if he faced Scrooge, so he used that ray thing that makes someone smart or dumb,

Shot it at his clone that looked 100% like him, then sent the clone to deal with Scrooge, while the Real Bradford himself sneaked away unseen by both sides.

If that theory is true, then maybe it will show it in the reboot of Darkwing Duck.  

I hope some of you understand my view on Bradford, at first when it was revealed he was a part of FOWL, I did thought he was a villain. but after the episode that first showed that papyrus, and even showing a bit more of his past...but perhaps not all of it.

I don't view Bradford as someone who is evil, just someone who is deeply hurt and tried to do good but ended up hurting others in his quest to achieve it.

Yes he did wrong in his life, and he was blinded by his ambition that cost him in the end.

And we should try to remember, he wouldn't be that way if it wasn't for that insensitive Isabella Finch.

Once more, no one has to agree with my feelings about it. but I still find that Finch is my least favorite character in the Ducktales 2017 Continuum.

one of the tags for this is “True Monster” and to me,

Isabella Finch was the true monster.

Bradford was her victim, and she couldn’t see that her adventures that she dragged him on, was making him unhappy and would place stress, trauma and fear in his life, and making him go down a dark path just to keep the whole world safe.

Bradford wasn’t even truly evil, just broken and emotionally hurt.

which Della, Beakley, Scrooge and the rest of the family and friends couldn’t open their hearts and eyes enough to see.

it is possible the only one who could see it, was Magica.

because the way she said that he wasn’t a villain.

I can’t agree with the actions of those who are suppose to be “Good”

but end up hurting those who are just hurt themselves.

Discord didn’t even get a proper punishment,

he, Celestia and Luna just made the three scapegoats of his actions, get turned to stone, and Star Butterfly despite the fact that her and her family have misused magic for who knows how long of generations,

she chooses to move the blame from her Mother,

to magic itself, who let me remind you everyone, is not truly at fault, but those like Star and her family who wield it.

and if you misuse that power, it is your fault, not the source of the realm your magic comes from.

at least Lena was able to do better than what Star did, I still love SVTFOE

(and still hope to get a complete dvd collection of SVTFOE someday.) 

and the last episode was still good, but I can’t agree with placing blame on magic, when it was Moon who misused it and caused so many lives to be in danger, and even ended up with Quirky dying.

Steven Quartz Universe, he went through trauma in his life that caused him to end up the way he turned out in Steven Universe Future.

I for one, love both the first series, the movie and Steven Universe Future.

the Steven Universe Future brought out some truth of Steven, that some can relate to and understand but maybe not fully.

because of what was revealed in Steven Universe Future,

about Greg’s past, I see him as both a Good and yet Bad person.

same with how Rose was during her life, as both when she was Pink Diamond,

and then when she reformed as “Rose Quartz”, which I still think that would make her a Trans-Gem, like gems who are normally be made one way, might feel like they are either a Rose Quartz, a Ruby or even a Zircon.

but the episode where we learn a bit more of Greg’s past, like how he felt about his parents and how he viewed their rules and how it seem like a prison to him.

but he might of only seen what he wanted to see, he might not of got the full picture growing up, and I had theorized that one of his parents could of been sensitive to loud music/sound, it is possible that Greg couldn’t understand.

Steven had a right to be mad at Greg, and even disappointed in him too.

Greg had cheered him up, and even made him happy finding out about his father’s old home.

but Greg made his son go back down to his lows again.

it was good that it was revealed that Steven is getting the help he needs.

when he corrupted himself, it was good that no one tried to hurt him

but hugged him when he needed that emotional support.

the kind that shows that those who are his family and friends, are there for him and are sorry they couldn’t see how much pain he was going through.

at times when a character who is normally a villain, and shows no sign of goodness in them (unlike Chrysalis, Cozy Glow and  Tirek showed when they bonded in one episode....who had shown a side of good that was in them.)

they can’t be saved...

I wont force others to agree on my view on all this, just try to respect that is how I see it.

not all villains are evil, some end up being Anti-Villains,

just as how some heroes who aren’t always good, end up as Anti-Heroes.

 even if Isabella Finch was long gone in the world of Ducktales 2017,

but to me she was the root of Bradford’s suffering and trauma.

and that makes her the woman behind the man, and the true villain.    

 now I am gonna just go and sign off and have me time.

I might sign back on later or tomorrow, it depends.

and I really hope some of you will understand how I view Bradford,

yes at first I thought of him as a villain after it turned out he was FOWL.

but then after seeing the other sides of him, I can’t help but understand he was misunderstood and he only wanted to protect the world from danger.

(he just ended up going about it the wrong way, and went too far in the wrong ways to achieve that peace.)

and his grandmother Isabella, Ludwig, Scrooge, everyone, including the rest of FOWL, couldn’t see that.

I hope that at least such a thing gets resolved in a darkwing duck reboot.

and the Bradford we saw in the very end, turned out to be one of his clones.

because I believe that Bradford deserved better, he was not born that way, he was made that way because of his so called grandmother, who couldn’t see that she was making him unhappy and causing him trauma.

well thanks for listening, and once again no one has to agree about my feeling about Bradford or Isabella Finch,

or the whole theory about Phantom Blot being Bentina’s son-in-law,

who she thought died along with her daughter and granddaughter....

well the granddaughter she had before taking Webby in.

see ya later and keep safe everybody.                                      

[inkperch]

V8E13 Thoughts- Just OUCH.

Ok, so, this one is me live tweeting my second watching, cause there is no way in FUCKING HELL Im being coherant otherwise HOLY CRAP.

Jaune’s motion sickness coming up again is fun. The evacuation plan is pretty smart tbh. Ren’s fuCKING SMILE- if I didn’t ship Renora b4 this, I’d ship it now. Also, Nora can ride her hammer like a broom now, and its so casual Im genuinely trying to remeber if Im just being dumb and she could always do that? The subway scene is f-ing hilarious, but I can’t help but feel like they were intentionally being more cartoon-y than usual cause of the shit that happens later.

Everyones wonder at the portals is just *chefs kiss*. Especially May’s ‘figured you wouldn’t let us down!’- shes awesome, strong contender in the ‘probably only here for one arc+cameos’ best girl contest. Ilia’s still winning, but May’s a strong 2nd place. Really don’t like how fast Ruby gets back to mission mode tho- girl, let yourself appreciate the pretty golden bridges ffs, you definitely don’t by the end of the episode.

And I love how the biggest problem was something they just... couldn’t predict. The sandstorm wasn’t a fault in their plan, it wasn’t a villainous scheme, it just happened.

I swear Cinder’s the animation teams favourite, her expressions are always 100% spot on. And RWBY squaring up, altogether again, is badass. 

And just- the way she’s still super shaken? But comes up with a perfect plan regardless? Wow. Like- she took exactly what needed taking from Watt’s speech, how to get Neo back on board and, as we see later, exactly what to tell Watts to get him on her side. V1-3 Cinder’s back guys, and she’s more dangerous than ever.

And Jinn’s moment of hesitation before answering Cinder is great- Jinn may be a solid True Neutral, but she still doesn’t particularly want to doom Ruby’s plan. She knew exactly what answering the question would lead to, after all.

Actually- Hey, Jinn seems to get linked to Ruby like, a lot. Obviously Ruby was the first person we saw ask her a question and, while Yang got them the lamp, Ruby was the one carrying it all the way to Atlas pretty much. And then theres the big, obvious one- when the Spirit of Knowledge admits your clever, your clever. Food for thought.

Cinder’s troubled response to seeing Emerald- seriously, animation team popped off this season. And the fucking SOUNDTRACK DISSONANCE! It sounds like something out of a ballet, and then we’re shown them casually enter a room full of people and seal the door- then cut to a room full of corpses. Without so much as a blip in the happy, airy music. Cause really what’s changed? Everything’s coming up Cinder! (also, Neo beating a survivor around the head got a guilty laugh, I’ll admit.)

The #1 Dud mug hit different.

And Robyn’s spitting facts. Marrow is the best, wasn’t sold on him, then he went and did this. Also, FUCK HARRIET. Saving her own ass so she can go doom Mantle. Didn’t even fuckin TRY to wait for Wacky Tube Man and Adult Nora. And Robyn’s face- ok, fine, I’ll shut up about the animation team. No I won’t, but I’m running out of creative ways to say they’re awesome.

Also, fuck Jaques! I was fucking CACKLING when Ironwood shot him! Just- fuckign hell, I know it shows just how far he’s fallen, willing to execute a prisoner who, even in the case of escape is harmless now, but also, it’s Jaques, the guy’s a fucking hate sink for a reason, best choice Ironwood’s made all season! I guess it’s pretty clear he’s dead now huh?

Also- Cinder keeping the attention off of Neo- like, I only noticed it here but holy crap, Cinder isn’t lying in her speech- this is great teamwork, and it’s the kind of teamwork Cinder excels at- she makes some form of spectacle that furthers her goals, then uses it as a distraction for an even bigger part of her goals- we first saw it at Beacon. Like I said, Cinder’s back~ rip any redemption arc tho, she’s just better at being worse- it’s actually a really, really good villain arc, without becoming a redemption arc and I love it.

And then, Yang’s sacrifice- ok, like the Penny one I’d had this mildly spoiled for me. Unlike the Penny one, I had 0 hope of her getting out of this intact. Because as soon as there was that black screen, I knew Yang was fucked- cause, remember what other scene we saw shot like this? Close up of Yang’s face, then she activates her semblance and throws herself forward? All because someone she loves is in danger? Yeah, I was having big V3 flashbacks at this point, so I knew Yang wasn’t gonna be ok.

Also, something I didn’t notice until rewatch, but the reason Blakes the only one fast enough to react is cause Ruby’s on the floor. Kinda neat attention to detail. First watch I just joked to myself her reaction times shit.

And Blake just missing- wow. Fucking OUCH. She’s probably having V3 thoughts too. And just generally the way this is framed- just fucking OUCH. The heartbeat sound, the black frames, the slowmow- just OUCH. Speaking of OUCH, that ‘YAAAANG!’. Like. Excellent voice acting (and animation, again, seriously wow.) And the FUCKING ECHO! Just- OUCH. That’s just a summary of this whole scene, just fucking OUCH.

Also, as we learn later, if Yang had fallen a second later, Penny would’ve been through the portal before she could react. Think about that for a second- Penny would’ve gone through the portal, guilty about leaving her friends behind to fight, only to her a heartbroken cry of ‘Yang!’ literally as she stepped through- only to realise she can’t go back.

Also, RUBY IS NOT OK. GIVE RUBY A FUCKING HUG. HER SISTER JUST DIED AND BEFORE SHE CAN PROCESS THAT, SHE HAS TO FIGHT FOR HER FUCKING LIFE AGAINST THE PERSON YANG JUST DIED TO SAVE HER FROM. Seriously, give Ruby a fucking break holy shit. That quiet ‘Yang?’ and then she is immediately back in mission mode? O U C H.  

Also, Neo is smiling in that fight, wow, holy shit- wait, theres the other V3 scene this gave me Deja Vu to, it’s the fucking Roman fight! Neo just did to Ruby what Ruby did to Neo, but flipped- she ‘ring out’ed Yang to her death, when Ruby ‘ring out’ed Neo and then ‘killed’ Torchwick. Wow, holy crap.

And, again, ANIMATION TEAM OUCH. Seriosly, why are they so good at animating sobbing? Also, cute detail with Weiss holding Blake back. Don’t know why I’m calling it cute, nothing here is cute, holy shit, this episode is ouch. And the fucking anger, it’s so well animated holy fuck. And Neo refusing to even fight Blake, cause Ruby’s her target- yeah, that’s gonna fuck both them up. I am not looking forward to the end of these fight scenes- and seriously? Was this what Yang having her back turned in the OP was foreshadowing???

Weiss vs Cinder is awesome- Weiss has been on good form when it comes to winning fights again this season. Helps that, other than the ones who can fly, she’s in the best position to fight here what with her glyphs and all.

Penny trying to draw her swords and not got a laugh out of me, I’ll admit. To be fair, I was laughing at anything and everything at that point, cause they just fuckin killed Yang. Also, Rip Penny’s feet, imagine the friction burns? Like, ignoring how shes running around barefoot rn, i m a g i n e the friction burns from getting thrown like that with no shoes. Whole different kind of ouch.

And, Ok, so, are Penny’s swords made of rocks? Because they don’t look particularly rock-y. They look like something out of TRON tbh, don’t really seem Maiden-y to me. 

Weiss protecting everyone with her sword is badass. Blake being forced to chose between protecting everyone, and murdering Neo is heartbreaking just- 

This fuckING FRAME!

Also, yeah, FUCK HARRIET. Also, Robyn ramming them had me fucking cackling so hard- just, like, Wacky arms guy almost, almost talked some sense into her (Not really, or she wouldn’t go back on it so quickly, but almost), meanwhile in the other jet, Robyn ain’t letting anyone kill her people. Especially not mid-evacuation, that’s just a dick move. FUCK HARRIET. And like... was Harriet into Clover? I’m reading that right, right? Cause like... that’s some yikesy foreshadowing on the back of YANG GETTING KILLED OFF.

But also, still, FUCK HARRIET. Qrow throwing himself through the windshield was 10/10, would fight intro again. And Arthur finished his apple before hyjacking the bomb.

And then, the Winter scene. Is Ironwood just in a Schnee- killing mood? Ironwood’s speech is... honestly, heart-breaking. He is the definition of a fallen hero. If he wasn’t blinded by paranoia and driven to rely on no-one but himself and a very select few, would he still have come believe he was the only one who anyone could trust? Because that’s, ultimately, what has brought him here- he doesn’t think he can trust anyone but himself, and so, he must be the only one who can save Atlas, right?

And Winter’s FUCKING RESPONSE- ‘I’ve never wavered in fighting the enemies of this kingdom... and I won’t start now.’ No emotion, no hesitation, no anything. Just resolve. Made even more badass by how clearly pained she is- and like, I don’t mean emotionally, that’s cool too, I mean that she’s physically in pain, but still won’t even hesitate to fight the guy who took a whole team to fight in a sneak attack last episode. And Ironwood’s response... I really can’t praise the animation team enough.

And then there’s the other side of the portal- Ren is MVP ngl, that’s a stupid amount of people he sheilded for a stupid amount of time, all on his own.

Ok, so, next week’s big fights. RWBP vs Cinder and Neo inside the bridge world, Qrow vs Harriet, with plane assists from Robyn and who the fuck knows from Wacky arms man in the atlas/mantle set for the last time probably. Winter vs Ironwood. And Oscar, Emerald and a half-dead Ren vs a massive, massive crowd of Grimm all while doing an escort mission.

...I’m not going on Youtube for a week.

[digitalcomfortspot]

The Vincent Saga - Chapter Two: First Impressions

Pairing: OC F/O Vincent x S/I Magnus Marswood

Rating: SFW (for now, later chapters may get less so)

Warning, contains: mentions of hypnosis, snake tail mention, nagas

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You two will definitely hit it off," June had said. "It'll be easy," June had said.

That’s the thought he kept repeating to himself as he walked up to the penthouse door. “It’s fine… You’ll be okay. He’s probably really nice, and if he isn’t, you know where the nearest exit is.” It took a moment of courage to try and knock on the door, but he gives pause when he hears… singing coming from inside the door.

“My holding you close really is no crime,

Ask the birds, the trees… And old father time,

It’s just to help the mercury climb,

La de da de da de dum, ‘tis Autumn~”

“‘Tis Autumn”, by Nat King Cole… Magnus blinks, confused. It stuns the human for a moment, the dulcet tones muffled through the door, warming his soul with the softness of it. It’s almost barely heard. It really was quite comforting… Then he remembers what he’s here for, and goes to knock at the door once more.

It swings open before he gets a chance to, and an older nymph woman comes out, smiling brightly. “Oh, excuse me! He’s right inside, if you have an appointment!” And then she’s on her way, with an unusual skip in her step as she adjusts her hijab, giving him a wave.

Magnus blinks, and looks inside- And goes stock still, freezing in place. Any calm he felt went out the window.

Snake. A long, ebony scaled snake body with dark green stripes winds throughout the ENTIRE apartment, thick and rolling along, easily making its way around what few furniture pieces lay in the living room. He couldn’t make out the type of snake it was, but he backs up very slowly, trying to make out who is inside with a serpent that LONG.

“Oh… Hello! Come in, come in, it’s drafty out there…” A deep, sweet voice beckons. “Being coldblooded can really be a curse sometimes.”

Magnus steps inside despite his better judgement, a bit worried. Maybe it was a pet of Vincent’s? “Um… E… Excuse me, your pet snake is ju-”

And then a man walks out of the back room. No, not walking… Slithering.

And suddenly Magnus understands why the bill is so high, why the apartment has to be this large, why the man rarely comes out in public. The ‘pet’ snake is actually…

“Oh!” Vincent Ferenze enters the room, smiling, tail following behind him.

His white hair is hastily pulled into a messy bun that sits at the nape of his neck, and he looks up, eyes meeting his guest's. They were a gorgeous viridian, seeming to capture his attention easily. He doesn’t look so intimidating in person, soft smile gracing his lips as he smoothes out a bit of his white button down, trying to get it to cooperate around his hips where the transition between man and serpent begins.

“No, that… That is me. I apologize if it gave you a fright, sometimes it can be a bit difficult to… Space myself out a bit.” He gives a hissing chuckle, holding out a hand. “I’m Vincent. It’s lovely to meet you. But I don’t remember an appointment scheduled for this time block… Are you a walk in patient?”

Magnus blinks, dumbly taking his hand and shaking it, before gathering his wits. “Oh, uh… No, I was sent by June? I’m Magnus Marswood, I heard you were looking for a roommate?”

The naga brightens a bit. “Oh! Yes, of course! They told me you were coming, hold on just a moment.” He moves at such a rapid pace that Magnus can’t quite follow Vincent’s movements.

Long, roiling coils are cleared away, and soon the human is sat down on a couch, one of the only furniture pieces in the whole apartment. “So! You wish to share my apartment with me, then? The naga looks quite sure of himself, settling down onto one of his coils in a polite sitting position.

“I… Simply wanted to meet you! I’m not sure about it yet, but I have been looking for a roommate for a while. And June has been-”

“Bugging you about me?” He finishes, smirking. That sly and playful smile sent a warm shiver down Magnus’ spine, though not unpleasant, and as he looks away he can almost feel that green gaze resting on him.

“Yeah, uh… I apologize if this is all sudden, or unwanted. If you want me to leave, I can. I just wanted to clear that up.” He looks back up to find the naga just a bit closer. “Uh… It seems you work from home?”

“Mhm. I’m a counselor and hypnotherapist. Listening to people’s problems and helping them solve them, or even just getting a good night’s sleep, that’s my job!” He beams, seeming quite proud of it, then stops when he sees the human’s face flushing a color that could shame even the brightest of rubies.

“O...Oh! June didn’t… mention… that last part.” He keeps his eyes down now, willing his blush to go away with as much determination as he can muster.

It didn’t work.

“... Aahh… I see.” Vincent chuckles, watching his guest squirm a bit. “And living with someone with this kind of profession… would that bother you?”

“No!” He answers too quickly, gaze shooting back up to his host as he clears his throat. “I… I mean, no, not at all. Your business is your business, and that’s fine. It’s really impressive, actually!” He gives a polite smile, looking back up and eyes going wide when he finds that Vincent is much closer, looking deep in thought, almost absentmindedly moving towards the human.

His scleras are now greying, eyes glowing just a little bit. They’re quite captivating, rippling through different hues of emerald... His head goes fuzzy for just a moment, nerves calmed and smoothed over as if covered with a warm blanket, and somehow he feels he could stare for hours... But when he blinks, he seems to gather his wits again and the spell wears off.

“U-Um… Can I help you?” He says, a bit weakly as his mind tries to shake itself back awake completely.

“Oh!” His eyes change back, and Vincent moves backwards, giving the human space. “I apologize… Sometimes my abilities get away from me when I’m deep in thought. I was trying to figure out a rent agreement, especially in my case. Are you alright? Oh dear...”

“Y… Yeah, just a bit tired now.” Magnus rubs his eyes, but when he looks back up, he finds he’s much more inclined to keep eye contact, even without the effect. And he doesn’t really mind…. Not one bit.

Vincent smiles softly, and they begin to talk. Before the afternoon is out, they’ve come up with a proper rental agreement. As Magnus leaves, he’s smiling and waving. “See you saturday, then! I’ll be sure to bring over my stuff. I don’t have much, don’t worry!”

“Have a lovely evening, Magnus. See you then!” The door shuts, and he skirts off to his car, still puzzled about how he’s feeling. June KNEW hypnosis was one of his special interests… That must have been why they wanted to set him up with the naga in the first place! Figures, he scoffs.

His mind thinks back to that split second, those glowing green ripples pulling him in, and he can almost feel that sweet, fuzzy feeling settling over him again, mind's processes gently slowing to a crawl as if almost asleep... His cheeks go red, and the more he tries not to think about it, the harder it is. Did Vincent install a sort of trigger by accident?

And did he really mind…?

He jumps when his phone blares, his usual ringtone going off in his pocket.

“Hello, Magnus Marswood speaking?”

“Soooooo~? How’s it going?” June. Of course. The vampire sounds all too eager.

“I… YOU, are trouble.”

“Huh?”

“You knew he was a hypnotherapist...?!” He can feel his face flaring up red as he hears them laughing over the line.

“Yes, I did! That was the WHOLE point! You need to stop bottling up your interests, AND yourself. And Vincent is... Really persuasive~”

“You could have at least warned me, he got too into thinking about the rent agreement and he just ended up... You know... By accident! What if I end up zonked over the dinner table?”

“Then hey, that’s a YOU problem. You’re complaining buuut... You took the deal, didn’t ya?” he hates how much they truly know about him sometimes.

“I... I didn’t say NO...” He tries to save it, fumbling. “Listen, the rent agreement was pretty fair for the space he needs, and the room I’m staying in would be HUGE, and-”

“Aaaaand you might get some free hypnosis sessions out of it~” They tease, giggling.

“I can hear you smirking over the phone, you know.” He sounds less annoyed now, smiling a bit.

“I know, it’s a skill. SO! When should I help you move in?”

[faunusrights]

Hey so... How do you like... Find character voices, tones and speech patterns or mannerism for your characters? Especially with so any variations on the same cast members? I really admire it, and am having trouble doing it for a story I've had outlined and a cast I've had set for years, but now the writing time cometh and I cannot for the life of me put dialogue to any of this.

WOOF this is a Big Ol Question but i will do my best to explain how i work 😞🤙 the art of dialogue is a careful one and entirely too much practice BUT we will push on

as such, stickin this under a cut

so i’m opening up with a quick flex on y’all: my dialogue is the one of very few things that was always very Good abt my writing (to the point that in uni it was one of those things ppl never even bothered commenting on cause they were like ‘idk i cant make it better lmao’) SO ive been doing dialogue for YONKS and at this point i dont rly have to Think abt it so much as just. do it. lmao

but one of the reasons i got Good was because an a monotone autistic kid i spent a lot of my early years like... listening to how ppl spoke and mimicking it because yall i used to talk At The Same Speed In The Same Tone At One Hell Of A Lick for years and tryna sound normal took me just shutting tf up and having a good listen to how other people spoke, which is my first tip: listen to people!! sit in a discord chatroom!! listen to convos in a coffee bar!! be nosy and listen in on convos!! humans r VERY GOOD at talking and we love 2 do it and theres so many types of dialogue to listen out for that will help u get better!

the other tip is thinking a lot abt personality and how that shines thru; every person i write is a very different person to the character next to them, and how they are effects how they verbalise shit; let’s take, for instance, yang and weiss, yeah?

YANG comes from a backwater island off the coast of vale; it’s a rural, outdoorsy farming community that’s very tight-knit and quite remote, which means a few things for yang’s speech patterns. ONE is that she talks in a dialect native to patch, which is a more drawl-y (yet surprisingly staccato) version of vale’s accent. it’s also SLATHERED in local slang and terms that any valian will be thoroughly unfamiliar with. we’re thinking of a mix of rural southern america and also somehow californian/australian surfer dude stereotypes??? it’s a WILD mix.

WEISS comes from the very high-class, very technologically-advanced and Strict society of atlas, which has scandinavian/germanic origins! her speech is very measured and very articulate, given the high standard of education she’s been subjected to, and her atlesian accent (again, very german-esque) can be suppressed very well in the right crowd to better fit in (tho it shows when she gets Angery). she rarely uses slang, she’s speaks very clearly, and it’s all very... prescriptive, yeah?

so yang and weiss have literally two OPPOSITE ways of speaking, built in entirely different communities for very different NEEDS and personalities. of course they dont sound like each other; it’s not just a change of location, but a change of person. even if weiss had lived on patch and yang in atlas, what you could guarantee is that weiss could still be a stickler for grammar and yang would still learn all the slang that’s used in atlas/mantle/solitas, right?

this same process can be done for any character; ruby’s manic and talks REALLYREALLYREALLY QUICKLY CAUSE SHE HAS SO MUCH TO SAY AND IF YOU STOP HER SHE’LL FORGET WHAT SHE WAS SAYING AND THEN SHE WON’T REMEMBER AND IT’LL BUG HER ALL DAY SO PLEASE LET HER JUST JUST THIS ONE REALLYREALLYREALLY LONG THOUGHT OUT FIRST PLEASE HANG ON JUST A MOMENT--

but blake is very sort of. laid back and chilled and brooding and considering revolution so for them, they speak less often, and usually in much more succinct thoughts: we’ll see a lot of one-word answers, a lot of bluntness. of course, this backfires when theyre trying to be genuine because sometimes it gets in the way! of course, compared to, say, tribelands blake, who is chieftain and is REQUIRED to be more articulate, we see a blake who is still calm and collected and therefore they speak rarely with error. all very thoughtful, a lot more like weiss.

of course, thats not even going into how they TEXT as seen in frapp logs (since how someone speaks and how someone TEXTS is like, two diff ways for speaking) which is a whole other kettle of fish that’s still impacted by a BUNCH of other factors!

dialogue, when boiled down, is basically just an extension of a character’s personality -- and it’s an IMPORTANT aspect of their personality, because speaking is how we impart a lot of our ideas and thoughts into a space that other people can, uh, interpret! a character is, ultimately, a bunch of concepts that form a person, and when they speak is when those concepts are on show for everyone to see! so WHAT those ideas are and HOW they envision those ideas informs the way their dialogue will function. are they like ruby, who thinks twice as quickly as she can get the ideas out of her mouth? are they like blake, who likes to mull things over before jumping to conclusions (unlike theyre impassioned, of course)? are they like weiss, who had her way of speaking beaten into shape by academia? or are they like yang, who speaks in a way that best allows her to connect with her community and her people? these are all distinct people and ideas!

a good way to test if theyre distinct in your writing is to write down a transcript w/o any tags or names, and see if people can tell you how many characters are in that conversation. the most distinct their voice (even if they use similar words or one another), the better chance you have at having characters with distinct speaking methods. consider every word! consider every phrase! everybody approaches speaking differently!

[i-lost-my-heart-in-republic-city]

answer all the questions in that ask thing, or go through it and just answer all the ones u rlly rlly want to

Sorry this took so long, but you asked for all of them and Iam very emotional.

1.  What episode of Steven Universe got you hooked on the show?

I started watching shortly after Jailbreak came out so I’m not sure if I can pinpoint exactly where I got hooked, but I think it was around Coach Steven of Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem when it really got me. Although, I will say when Sworn to the Sword came out, that’s really when I knew this was it for me. 

2. Are you the type to watch episodes as they air, or do you just get your fill of Steven Universe online?

I tried to live watch episode premieres as much as I could, or watch them the day they were posted online by CN. I really tried to make an event out of them, and I’m glad I did. 

3. What’s your favorite quote out of the entire show?

It’s really hard to pick just one. Maybe “You have to be honest about how bad it feels, so that you can move on.” - Connie in Mindful Education. Really feeling that one right now. 

4.In what ways has Steven Universe inspired you? 

I really feel like it has inspired me to live. I havestruggled with depression and anxiety since a young age, so it can be hard todo that. Steven Universe gave me something to look forward to, made the world abetter place. When I was hurting it provided me with comfort and happiness. Thereisn’t another show out there that’s like it for me.

5. Has Steven Universe actually taught you lessons?

Yes, oh god yes. It has helped me to be more honest withmyself and with others. I don’t think I would’ve come out to my family if itweren’t for this show. Over the years, it has really helped me to learn to letgo of shame, and guilt, and self-hatred I had carried around for so long. I wouldn’tbe the person I am today without this show.

6. Favorite character design and why?

I really liked Garnet’s wedding outfit, mixing both the gownand tux. I’m a big Garnet/Rupphire stan and it was just great to see them embracethe queerness of the whole situation, and that it was love, something to becelebrated.

7. Has the show ever gotten an intense emotional reactionout of you? (ex - crying, fear, anger)

I’m crying right now about it, does that answer yourquestion?

8. Do you associate any songs with any characters in StevenUniverse?

I associate Can’t Hold Me by Emily King with Stevonnie becauseit was used in that episode, and I love Stevonnie.

9. Gush about your all-time favorite episode real quick.Just go on a long, rambling tangent about how much you love it. Do it. We’relistening.

For the series proper, it’s Reunited. I love that episode somuch and it makes me cry every time I watch it. Growing up I fell into the ‘notlike other girls’ phase because I was not interested in love and romance likeall my friends seemed to be, and I had no desire to go on dates with guys. Irealize now that I rejected these things because they didn’t fit me. I didn’t wantto be with a guy, and never saw myself in any of the traditional media. Ireally am a bit of a hopeless romantic though. Now that I am more confident inmyself, and understand my feelings better, I’ve really gotten to enjoy thispart of myself.

Ruby and Sapphire are the first couple I really got to experiencethis with, seeing them being cute and together and in love, and the wedding isthe accumulation of all of that. Getting to see these two women in love witheach other celebrate that love as the beautiful thing it truly is means theworld to me. After years of watching this show and growing with it, this episodewas the moment were I finally let go of all my self-hatred for being queer. I justknew in my soul that every hateful thing I had heard or been told about beingqueer was wrong, and that this was the truth, love was the truth. It wasn’tsomething instantaneous, it was something I had been working towards for years,but this episode marked the turning point for me.

10. Gush about your all-time favorite SU character realquick. Just go on a long, rambling tangent about how much you love them. Do it.We’re listening.

I already gushed about Ruby/Sapphire/Garnet a little, solets do Pearl. I just love how even after all she’s been through, she is stillsuch an independent spirit. I know her whole past with Pink/Rose wascomplicated but she still isn’t here to let anyone tell her what to do. She’ssmart, and creative, and resourceful, and goofy and she knows these things butshe also has a lot of self-doubt and seeks validation from others. I relate.But she worked through those things and is in a better state now. Even thoughshe still hurts and is still dealing with the trauma, she is so much better.

I also really relate to how she feels about loving someoneand them not feeling the same way/it not working out. As much as I love Rubyand Sapphire’s relationship, I also think I need Pearl. She defined herself forso long by her relationship but she is her own amazing person. Growing up, Isaw many messages about not letting a relationship with a boy define you. Butwhat about a relationship with a girl? I think there can be so much pressure toprove that you’re really gay by always being in that kind of relationship. ThatI’m not truly queer because of my lack of experiences with women. But that isn’ttrue. Being queer is a part of who I am and that doesn’t change just because Iam or am not in a relationship. My feelings can still be an important part ofme without having to define me by my relationship status, just like Pearl.

11. What fusions do you want to see in the show, and whowould you like them to be voiced by?

I would probably most like to see a fusion of Steven andLapis. Her only experience with fusion was her toxic relationship with Jasper.So I would really like her to have a positive experience with fusion, based ofthe friendship and love she and Steven have for each other. I have no idea whowould voice them though.

12. Which episode do you think has the best aesthetics?

I mean Steven’s fusion dance in Change Your Mind isabsolutely gorgeous. James Baxter ain’t a legend for nothing, and I’m gladRebecca held on to that favor from him. Just everything, Connie’s little walkback, the way White Diamonds eyes open, its all wonderful.

13. List any headcanons you have about any characters.

Pearl is in a happy polyamorous relationship with Bismuth,Volleyball, and Amethyst.

14. Favorite arc out of the show? Why?

The Wedding Arc for reasons I’ve already talked about above,but also Diamond Days because it was everything the whole series was buildingtowards. Just the whole message about how systems hurt people who are deemed ‘different’but that there is hope for a better future with compassion and love, and notbeing afraid to share your feelings is something I really needed.

15. Have you ever made any jokes based on the show? Whichones were the funniest?

So many. One of my most popular was this post from way backwhen in early 2016. 

Want a joke for the final? Maybe the real treasure insideRose’s chest was the friends we made along the way.

16. Most misleading episode summary of all time?

I know people freaked out about Rocknaldo because cartoonnetwork promoted it by advertising the appearance of a new gem. I mean, youcould argue technically it was true because Ronaldo made a gemsona, but that isdefinitely not what people took it to mean. I wasn’t really buying it though,cause the title was Rocknaldo. People hate on that episode and I think it’sbecause of the false advertising. It’s really funny though and has one of thebest jokes. “Rock people. They’re putting fluoride in the water supply- Whatthe-They hate men?!”

17. Has Steven Universe inspired any creative ideas ofyours?

I rewrote sleeping beauty but with lesbians because of thisshow. Does that count?

18. If you are a fanartist, which SU character is theeasiest for you to draw?

Not a fanartist, but Amethyst is the easiest for me to drawbecause she’s basically just circles.

19. If you are a fanartist, which SU character is thehardest for you to draw?

Maybe White Diamond, because she’s so detailed. Also, I strugglewith Pearl’s nose lol.

20. If you are a fanfic writer, which SU character is theeasiest for you to write?

Not really a fanfic writer, but Ruby and Sapphire maybebecause I’m gushy like that.

21. If you are a fanfic writer, which SU character is thehardest for you to write?

Jasper. I have a complicated relationship with her, but Iloved her in Future.

22. Have ever practiced voice acting using SU characters? Ifso, which character can you do the most successful impression of?

I don’t practice voice acting, but I do mimic lines from theshow. I think I sound most like White Diamond, hoo boy.

23. Have you ever sang along to SU songs? Which one is theeasiest for you to sing along to?

All the time, in the car, in the shower, around my house. Myfavorite is Here Comes a Thought, because it just helps me so much with myanxiety. The Tale of Steven and Let Us Adore You are definitely in the sweetspot of my vocal range though.

24. Have you ever imagined any of the human characters asgems?

Not really, I’ve more so imagined the gems as humans.

25. Are you big on AUs? Have you created anyyourself?

I like human gem AUs and college AUs.

[shardminds]

I picture your hands on me.

“First, I want you to drive us somewhere nice and quiet." "Then I want you to come back here and fuck my brains out.”

Pairing: Emma Swan/Killian Jones Rating: E WC: 3.8K

Here’s some Captain Swan car sex for your troubles.

Also available on AO3

Emma Swan doesn’t get drunk. That’s what she tells herself, all the while giggling and stumbling from the toilet stall into the arms of an equally intoxicated and equally giddy Mary Margaret. In fairness, she hadn’t had the opportunity to get drunk in a while. Nights these days were, more often than not, filled with street patrols and paperwork. Being a cop had many perks but the night shifts were not one of them. 

She couldn’t wear this dress or these boots out on the job anyway. The black faux leather was tight, barely reaching her mid-thigh and the stiletto boots cut off just above the knee. Definitely not regulation uniform. 

Perps would most likely hand themselves over to her if she did wear this on patrol, though. That’s one way to boost her numbers.

When David had initially asked if she wanted to take his wife out for a drink, she thought he’d been joking… evidently not. He had to buckle down on one of his larger cases and it just happened to line up with Emma’s night off. He’d offered to pay her back in bear claws from Granny’s when they were next on duty together and that had sold her. Calories don’t count if someone else buys them for you, right? David had, however, forgotten to mention his wife’s wild side that rears it’s boisterous head whenever liquor is involved. 

Tequila is her drink of choice. No chaser. No salt and lime. Just straight up tequila. Emma hadn’t even downed her second by the time the petite brunette was polishing off her fifth with a belch that would’ve had Leeroy blushing. It all went downhill from there. 

Mary Margaret yanks her out of the restroom, getting a little handsy in the process, and drags them to the less crowded hallway. Emma didn’t even get the chance to wash her hands. She’s chattering on about something or other but Emma can’t focus. Her skin is softly buzzing, the whole world around her a pleasant hum.

Emma Swan doesn’t get drunk, but when she does, it feels fantastic.

Did she have hand sanitizer in her clutch? It seems like a pretty important thing that everyone should carry in case of emergency, right? Especially on those days when your partner’s wife drags you away from the restroom before you’ve been able to take care of your own personal hygiene. It’s not like she’d peed all over her hands or anything. It’s just better to be safe than sorry. A quick rifle through her purse proved fruitless but at least it helped her regain focus… right at the end of her friend’s story. If they weren’t friends before tonight, they definitely were now.

“-and that’s how David got the scar but if you tell him I told you he’ll be so mad, Emma! Soooo so mad!” 

“About what?” It escapes before she can stop it and Mary Margaret just laughs at her. 

“Exactly!” She squeals, wiping away tears of laughter Emma hadn’t noticed before throwing an arm around her friend’s waist and leaning into her side, guiding them to the bar. “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”

The bartender didn’t even ask what they were having. Simply winking in their direction before setting down two shots and a couple of fingers of rum. Mary Margaret pays with a flourish of David’s credit card, index finger pressed to her lips in a shhh gesture. 

Before she can even think of all the ways David is going to kill her, Emma’s phone chimes. She tries to fight back the smile that comes along with Killian’s name flashing up on her screen, but she lost that battle long ago. They’ve been dating for over a year and he still manages to make her heart involuntarily flutter with every text. No one else makes her heart soften as he does. It had taken time, patience and a whole lot of nudging from David and Ruby for them to even get together in the first place and yet, Emma, with her seemingly endless walls, and Killian, with a metric shitload of his own baggage, managed to make it work. 

She loves him. Wholly. It had taken her forever to admit it but, between his soft kisses and even gentler touches, she’d whispered it against his skin. More a sigh than a declaration, but a promise nonetheless. 

Killian: running late, my love

Killian: nodded off marking… again 

Killian: be there in 5, does MM need a lift? 

He’s so good to her. To all of them. He’d agreed to pick her up at midnight, making a joke about pumpkins as he’d kissed her goodbye earlier. It’s almost half-past now but she can’t bring herself to be mad. She loves him. Like really, really loves him. It’s scary and exciting and if it had been anyone else she’d have run away by now but it’s him and that makes it all okay. All the tension she didn’t know she was holding evaporates away upon reading his texts. She throws back her drink in one gulp and starts typing.

Emma: i love u.  i will ass

Emma: ask

Emma: fuck

Emma: love u

Killian: haha had one too many, swan?

Killian: i’ll bring you some water x

She didn’t always understand the x’s he sometimes added to the end of his texts. He’d explained it to her once but the patterns his fingers had been tracing across the soft skin of her belly had been a far more pressing focus at the time. 

“It’s meant to be a kiss, love. It’s a common courtesy back home.” He’d said, placing a kiss of his own to the furrow in her brow. The furrow only deepened, which made him smile.

“But… why?” She snuggled closer to his chest, the coarse hair there ticking at her bare skin. Post-coital conversations about British text etiquette were just one of the many reasons she’d agreed to move in with him.

Regardless of her level of understanding, the addition brings a warm flush to her cheeks.

Mary Margaret is still at the bar, no longer drinking (thank god) but, if the way her index finger is pressed menacingly against the chest of a man almost twice her size is anything to go by, Emma’s willing to bet she was about to get herself in even more trouble. 

Behind her, there’s a familiar exasperated sigh. 

“I think it’s quittin’ time for us, Ems.” David yawned, patting her shoulder as he did. He was still in his uniform which must have scared the shit out of the bouncers on his way in. She didn’t mean to laugh but the thought had her chuckling. His case mustn’t have gone very well. His smile is soft and small, not blinding like it usually is. She’s about to ask him about it when a scream rips out ahead of them.

“DAVID!”

The thump as Mary Margaret collides with her husband’s chest knocks the air straight out of him in a dull oof. Without thinking, Emma snaps a picture and hits send.

Emma: mm has a ride

Emma: i’ll take one if u r offering tho ;)

They’re both still laughing, breathless, in each other’s arms before Emma gets pulled into the mix. David thanks her for keeping an eye on his wife with a strong hug while Mary Margaret attaches to her side like a barnacle and thanks her with slurred speech for celebrating her promotion together.

Emma hadn’t even known they’d been celebrating. That’s tequila for you.

“I better get this one home. Thanks again, Ems.”  David smiles her way before looking down to his tiny and drunken spouse who had the widest grin she’d ever seen, pure adoration in her eyes. She happily grips the hand David offers her, still beaming as they walk.

Emma knows that look. She’s had that look before. 

Love drunk (and maybe a bit of real drunk).

“I’ll follow you out.” She adds, falling into step with their rhythm. “My ride will be here soon anyway.”

“I love Killian, Emma. He’s so sweet! And he bakes! David doesn’t bake.” The outburst is followed by a hiccup and a giggle and a scoff from her husband. 

“Gee, why don’t you marry him then?” There’s no malice in David’s comment at all, how could there be? These two have been together since the dawn of time, by Storybrooke standards, at least. Mary Margaret barks out a laugh, using the arm that isn’t intertwined with David’s to punch him softly in the ribs.

“I married you, Stupid. You can’t marry two people. You’re dumb.” 

The rest of the walk to the exit is in relative silence, only the occasional chirp from their drunkest disciple on the way down the stairs of The Rabbit Hole. The crisp autumn air that meets them outside knocks Emma back a little, she hadn’t expected it to be so cold and, in a lapse of better judgement, had not brought a jacket. It doesn’t matter though. She’d already seen the familiar black jeep before her phone buzzed in her hand.

Killian: i see you x

Bidding goodbye to her two companions, Emma finds herself skipping over to Killian’s truck. She can’t help herself. The thought of him sat there waiting for her in all his black leather jacket-y goodness spurs her forward. Maybe she can convince him out of it… maybe– Fuck. She’s drunk but she wants him. Needs him.

Climbing into the jeep and immediately going in for the kill, in hindsight, probably wasn’t one of her finest ideas. Especially considering the accidental punch to the boob it earnt her. The bottle of water he’d promised, falling to the centre console between them. Clearly he’d not anticipated the haste of her advance. 

It’s a good job he’s cute.

“I’m sorry, love!” He laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners and lips pulling into a toothy smile. “I didn’t expect you to come at me with such unbridled force.” 

“Hello to you too.” Grumbling, she tries to massage some of the pain in her chest away but the ache is already there. Not the ache she wanted either. Killian’s hand finds her jaw and, despite her initial attempt at stubborn reluctance, his fingertips have her melting into his kiss. He’s overly gentle, just a chaste press of his lips against hers in apology. 

“I’ll kiss it better once we’re home, Swan. Don’t you worry about that.”

Feeling them against her lips, his words light a fire deep in her. The slow burn she’s been tending since she left their apartment earlier now seems an all-consuming need. She kisses him again, harder and deeper, a calculated move on her part, knowing he’ll take the bait and follow suit. 

The growl it pulls from him is borderline feral and Emma can feel it shoot straight to her core. Fuck, he’s such a good kisser. Every slant of his mouth over hers, every slip of his tongue, has her breathless and needy, wanting to only ever be further consumed. He always knows exactly how she needs it with very little prompting, reading her body language better than she herself could, sliding his free hand up her bare thigh until it slipped beneath the hem of her dress.

She can’t wait, she wants him now. 

“Fuck going home.” She sighs, letting him pull away only slightly so they can lean their foreheads together, his hand still continuing its path beneath her skirt. 

“What do you mean, love?” He knows exactly what she means. He always does. The smirk in his voice coats his words like syrup, sickly sweet and so wonderful. 

Pushing him away is torture, but worth it to hear his reaction as Emma crawls into the backseat. Arse in the air as she squeezes between the front seats and into the back. The firm smack to her behind has her fumbling through the gap, catching her moan as she tries to get her bearings. She’s not ashamed of it. It’s well-known that she loves a good spanking. Red palm prints all over her ass and thighs the next day are the best kind of trophies. Ones she’s proud to wear for him and him only. She’s not even ashamed at how almost uncomfortably wet she is just from thinking about it, thinking about him thick and heavy inside her, encouragement coming in the form of firm slaps.

If he wants a tease, she’ll give him a tease.

Turning to face him, she slips into the middle seat. Shimmying her dark panties she’d chosen earlier that evening down her legs with minimal effort. Killian’s eyes follow the path they take and, when they come to settle at her ankles, she offers him the scrap of fabric with the heel of her boot.

He groans when his fingers come to contact with damp lace, the faint squish as he rolls the fabric between his thumb and index finger is almost too much. The way he reaches for her is pure instinct, she can tell how her actions are affecting him by the way his eyes are half-lidded and all traces of smiles and smirks from earlier are gone. She presses her boot to his shoulder, forcing him to keep his distance and trusting him to do so before removing it. The sharp point of her stiletto catches on his collarbone on its descent, causing him to hiss. 

“First, I want you to drive us somewhere nice and quiet.” Settling down further, her legs part, faux leather peeling back from her thighs as they do, until it’s plainly visible how much she wants this. Her unfathomable confidence is definitely dutch in its origin but she can’t help herself, warm flames of arousal threatening to take over. It’s delicious and agony all at once. “Then I want you to come back here and fuck my brains out.”

Seeing his eyes slip closed at her words sends a heady wave of something straight through her. Car Sex: 1, Killian: 0

“As you wish, Swan.” His voice is deep and raspy, so very clearly fucked and Emma loves it. She loves him. Every part of him. From the way his hair always looks like he’s just woken up, no matter what time of day it is or the way his shoulders tense as he turns away from her now to focus on the road ahead, pulling off from the street with white knuckles clutching the steering wheel. Most of all, she loves knowing that he’ll give her what she wants, over and over again, rough and hard.

To everyone else, Killian is well mannered and reserved. The mix of ex-naval captain, local history teacher and baked goods connoisseur tending to subconsciously command the respect of those in his presence. 

To Emma, he is so much more. He’s soft in ways she’d never had a partner to be before, so open and forthcoming with his adoration of her while still allowing her space to grow into the person she’s always wanted to be. He’s sarcastic to a fault but, then again, so is she. He’s so unapologetically passionate about the things he loves, which usually results in them binging TV shows together until the early hours of the morning on a school night and falling asleep tangled together on the couch.  

He’s everything she never knew she needed and he’s changed her for good.

Oh, and he’s also an incredibly good shag. His word, not hers. When he says it, it sounds filthy, whispered against her body in a way that brings her out in goosebumps every time. When she says it, it sounds… not like that. 

She can’t wait much longer, heat throbbing between her legs at the thought of him. She hadn’t even realised until the slow drag of her fingers through slick folds and across her clit caused a moan to erupt from her throat, that she’d been touching herself this whole time. 

Glancing up to the rearview mirror, she caught lust darkened eyes staring back.

Fuck.

Without thinking, she brings the fingers to her mouth. Salt and lust thick on her tongue. It’s a sharp sweet taste and Killian always waxes poetic about it; telling her how damn edible her cunt is, how he loves the taste she leaves on his tongue, how he loves making her taste herself from his lips. He’s always been able to make her fall to pieces. 

Daring to maintain eye contact, she sucks them between her lips.

He fucking moans at that. Deep. Guttural. Emma can feel it in her chest and, before she can even comprehend what’s going on, he pulls the jeep up to a halt. They’re parked somewhere she doesn’t recognise, tucked between two buildings shrouded in the dark, and she has no time to worry about anything else because Killian is out of the driver’s seat and crawling into the back through the passenger door. 

He had been wearing his leather jacket before and she absentmindedly wonders where it’s gone before her brain short circuits with the smash of his lips against hers. It’s wild and rushed and the weight of him crushing her into the seat below has whines slipping out between their kisses.

“That was dangerous.” He purrs, moving his mouth across her cheek, down to her jaw, her neck. Nipping where his teeth graze and sucking soft marks into her flesh. Looks like it’s high necked sweaters for the rest of the week. “What did I do to earn that delicious torture?”

Emma hums at his ministrations, warm buzz settling through her at his touch. Better, more electric than the subtle tingle of intoxication from earlier. This woke up every nerve in her body, slowly, bringing them alive and with wisps of an earth-shattering orgasm building deep down already. “The tit punch wasn’t totally appreciated if we’re being candid.”

“Candid’s not the word, love.” His lips leave her neck, leaning up to view his masterpiece and very clearly satisfied with the mess he’s made and his smirk pushes her over the edge. She reaches for his hips, fumbling around for the zipper on his jeans. He joins in, working together to free the erection she’d been hoping for. Killian was never one to disappoint her in that department. “This is downright indecent.”

“Just shut up and fuck me.” 

She throws one booted leg around his hip pulls him closer until he nudges against her centre. 

There’s no preamble. No disclaimer. Sex for them is like coming home, a practised rhythm they’ve had down for what seems like aeons. As if they’d been destined for each other before they ever met. It’s perfect. Always is. He’s as thick and full as she’d been hoping, stretching her in the most delectable way and it drives her mad when he drags out slowly, angling himself in a way that has the head of his cock catching on that rough spot he usually finds only with his fingers. Clawing at his biceps as he fucks torturously slowly into her seems like the only option at this point. 

“Killia– fuck! Harder.” Is the only thing she can say. All other thoughts being variations of Fuck, Yes and Please.

He burrows his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent and she can feel the smirk on his lips searing into her skin. The whimper has barely left her lips before it’s cut off with a moan as he hammers into her. While one hand holds himself up, the other shoves her dress up higher around her waist before snaking down across her stomach, through the smattering of hair at the apex of her thighs and further, finally coming to a halt just shy of her clit. 

She’s grateful Killian had been able to find somewhere secluded for them to undertake their activity because, had they been in the centre of Storybrooke, people in a three-block radius would definitely have been able to hear the scream that rips out of her with his touch, back arching off the seat as he teases her clit with his fingers.

“First, you’re going to come.” His voice is way calmer than it should be. Deep and ragged but calm all the same. Emma doubts she could even string a sentence together with the barrage of pleasure he’s putting her through. Not that she’s complaining. The look on his face as she flutters around him more than makes up for the fact that he’s still got full use of his speech, even if he is using it to spew filth. “Then, I want to fill you up– fuck, I’ve been thinking about this dress all night, Emma. Do you know what you do to me?”

How can she even respond to that? He continues to fuck her deeper, laving kisses across her collar bones. Adjusting the angle, the pressure, the speed to keep her always on her toes. Bringing her almost to the edge and then dragging her back. She wants to be mad about it but she can’t bring herself to feel anything other than pleasure coiling low in her belly. Killian knows her too well. He knows what she likes, how she wants to be fucked and how to take care of her after. He knows she hates being teased but he also knows that she comes so much harder when she’s had to work for it. 

As she said, he knows her too well.

“I’m close.” She sobs, arms thrown around his neck. Her call spurs him on, fucking into her faster and deeper while he strokes relentlessly at her clit with his thumb. It’s only a few seconds before a tsunami of an orgasm washes over her in full force, wave after wave of pleasure settling over as she’s fucked through it. Gentler now than before. She can’t hear anything over the rush of blood in her ears but she doesn’t miss the telltale grunts of her name as Killian follows shortly after with a few staccato pumps of his hips. True to his word, he comes deep inside her. The feeling of being so full warming her from the inside out. 

He collapses against her chest with a huff and she laughs, not able to resist running her hands through his hair. She loves him. From his grunty sex noises to the way he can’t seem to hold himself up once he’s spent. She loves all of him.

“Brainless yet, love?” He mumbles against his gifts from earlier. There’s a dull throb as he kisses one of the hickeys and Emma hums, wrapping him in her embrace. She doesn’t want to move, despite how awkwardly they’re tangled together and Killian growing soft inside her. If David catches them on his patrol in the morning, they’re screwed. Well, she is. He’d hold that over her for eternity. 

Pulling him tighter, she sighs. 

“Completely.” 

She’d have to ask Mary Margaret about that scar story again, for blackmail purposes.

[princessamericachavez]

Since we have a week off, is there a chance you could do a top 10 Fjorester moments so far?

OH HEY THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN YES LET’S DO IT

10. “Did you just say I’ve been with your mom?!”

This whole sequence is hilarious. Jester is clearly annoyed that this woman is hitting on Fjord (as he tries to hire company for Kiri iirc) and tries to use her mom as leverage which clearly doesn’t work but...

what really gets me is how appalled Fjord sounds. It’s not “The Ruby of the Seas” it’s not “a famous courtesan” it’s not “a big score for a sailor like me” nope nope in his head this is “Jester’s mom” and given the flirty nature of their relationship he’s clearly Not Happy with the suggestion and Idk why but the way his voice becomes high-pitched with panic is just amazing and it was one of the first moments when my brain went PING he has a crush PING

9. Turning into water

Objectively, everything about that scene was hilarious. Fjord’s tired sigh, “nope, but thank you for that terrifying thought” was so funny and bantery... but what really gets me about this scene is how honestly worried about him Jester is at the beginning, just as he wakes up, and how later she tries to lighten the air between them with a joke...

And you can tell that it works because, despite Fjord’s initial discomfort, he turns it around and he gives her a wink and a smooth line and Jester just MELTS and it really just encapsulates so much about their friendship and dynamic and this was like episode 4 or smth

8. Post-Plank King talk

So this scene is pretty good already as a vulnerable and honest talk between them but also I like it for a few particular reasons. Firstly, the context. During the pirate arc, Fjord and Jester had some issues mostly because of Avantika, and Jester was starting to second-guess just how well she knew Fjord and he was pulling back from everyone under the pressures of leading... so to see her seek him out and just ask if he’s okay and how he is feeling was a wonderful thing for both of them. Also, I love how Fjord chose to open up to her about his conflicted feelings towards Vandran and how the whole thing hurt him. It’s just SO RARE to see him be this honest about his insecurities, and it really goes to show how much he trusts Jester. I also like that she mentions the accent thing. For us, as an audience, it’s pretty indicative that the person Jester thought she knew, actually is the real Fjord. That she has known him the best from the start and kept his secrets for him because they trust each other so much.

I also love the ending so so so much? Jester mentioning his growing tusks was such a soft little thing, and Fjord in turn acknowledging how much she supports him and thanking her for keeping his secrets was so sweet.

Plus, how to forget that perfect romcom ending where they both awkwardly pretend they have something else to do? PEAK SLOW BURN ROMANCE I TELL YOU.

7. Wursh

So this is two separate things, technically. First, their first meeting and Jester obviously noticing Fjord’s discomfort and insecurities and rushing to try to cheer him up after the talk. Jester is super perceptive, and she knows Fjord better than anyone, so I really appreciate that she didn’t just notice, she went out of her way to try to address it with him.

Also, though, the second time when she low-key threatens Wursh and makes sure he’s being nice to Fjord feels my heart with joy. Anyone who thinks Jester’s feelings for Fjord are shallow or performative is missing the point that she’s doing these things in private. He has no idea. She’s doing this out of love and selflessness, just checking in on him and making sure that he’s not going to be hurt by anyone else. And the way she TALKS about him, how gentle she sounds when talking about his insecurities and how she tells wursh that she knows he has a good heart I just- dfljañdlfja

6. Meeting the Ruby

I love so many things about this meeting omg. Firstly, that after watching Marion Lavorre aka the most famed and hot and expensive performer and courtesan in the Coast —at least— Fjord’s first reaction is “Hey, Jester, would you like to do that?” Like he has full faith she totally could do that and even when she voices certain self-doubts and Beau reassures her that she’s pretty and graceful, his contribution is “your singing voice is nice” as if the only thing that could stop Jester from reaching those heights was singing because she’s beautiful to his eyes.

Further proof? This boy, meeting the Ruby of the Seas, again, most beautiful and sensual woman, and his reaction is “I see where Jester got her good looks from” like, damn son, slow down! And Marion, bless her, all flirty but also perceptive being like “i can see you care about my daughter, do you watch over her?” and nearly making him break down right there, like Marion is part of the We Been Knew club.

And AFTER though, Fjord who has all this issues with family and who longs to find them but also dreads it, watching Jester (right after Caleb pointed out that her cheerfulness is an act) and making a point to ASK if she’s okay, “how are you feeling? do you want to have a drink? a walk? a talk?” this boy always going out of his way to make sure she feels okay and making sure they fix whatever is troubling her it’s just peak soft

5.The Tree Dive

Okay so what can I say about this that i haven’t yelled about yet? Travis “No Romance” Willingham giving ups PEAK ROMCOM DRAMATIC MOMENTS that take our breath away? Check. Fjord who just recently had an epiphany as to HOW MUCH Jester means to him and how her unwavering support is the one thing he can lean on, freaking LEAPING after her when she falls off the tree? The fact that there were ZERO seconds of hesitation between her falling and his jump? Feather fall giving them one quiet floaty yaoi moment where they hold hand and look at each other right before he booms them back up? How about Jester’s shocked and scared “Fjord, you-“ once they are back up, like she just CAN’T BELIEVE what he did for her?? AND THEN THE BOY USES HIS LAST SPELLSLOT JUST TO GIVE HER A BOOST WHEN SHE STARTS TO PANIC?!

IT’S FINE IT’S FINE I DIDN’T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

4. The Second Temple

This one is, like, especially interesting when you consider the context, right? Like, it’s right after the blue dragon fight and Fjord just spent the whole past day trying to patch things up with Jester while she pulls away… and then they are here and he’s ready to go through with this and Jester is just SO SCARED FOR HIM. She doesn’t want to leave him behind, and he KNOWS that.

The way she just sits down to talk to her god, her best friend in the world, and ask him to look after him for her just MELTS MY HEART. And you can see it melts Fjord’s too. I mean, here is a boy who grew up all alone, with no one to help him or stand up for him, who deeply believes that no one in the world would possibly care about his problems, and then there’s this girl who is so worried about him, literally praying for him. And like, just the moment when he sits next to her and he’s so soft and touched by her worry. “Jester, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me. I appreciate the sentiment.” THIS IS PRETTY MUCH A STAR WARS CLASSIC “I KNOW” OKAY??’  and her quiet “i really hope he does help you” “me too”

*banging pots and pans* TRAVELER SHOW TF UP FOR YOUR GIRL AND HELP FJORD OKAY WILD MAMA BEAT U TO IT BUT YOU GOTTA STEP UP

And the last part is just so cute, like, “just, don’t turn evil to me?” “Or anyone else? just you” listen listen listen if we ever talk dark au’s this is basically the foundation, “fuck the world but i can’t lose you”

3. Tusk Talk

There’s so much to appreciate about this talk, especially with Fjord being so open and vulnerable about his past, but I’m super soft about how Jester chooses to reassure him. “I think you would look good either way, Fjord” because she likes him and not just about his body, it’s about who he IS. And you can tell how much her opinion matters to him by the way he hyper focus on Jester after that comment. Everyone else keeps talking and he’s just like “you’re saying I should grow them back?” and she just reassures him again that it doesn’t matter to her.

And he does something that is still so impactful to the narrative about 50 episodes later: he gives her control, he trusts her enough to overwatch him getting over his worst childhood trauma, and in that moment he makes himself vulnerable in a way he never has before. And she takes that trust and honors it, and she comments on his tusks now and then, she makes them a mark of pride in her tattoos, she reassures him whenever those insecurities resurface. It’s such a meaningful thing that he has chosen to share with her, I don’t think I’ll ever be over it.

2. Underwater Kiss

Again, what can I say that I haven’t yelled about before? Fjord, who just tried to drown Avantika btw, sees Jester drowning right before of him and this protective self-sacrificial boy just grabs her by the face and KISSES HER. Travis used those words exactly, hell he specifically referenced The Shape of Water. And then he gives her all of his air. HE JUST DOES THAT.

He could’ve done so many other things?! Taken the key from her? Pulled her to the entrance with his double swimming speed? AND INSTEAD HE DID THAT

AND THEY HAVEN’T FREAKING TALKED ABOUT IT

ALSO JESTER’S FIRST KISS??? AND HOW JUST ROMANTIC AND AESTHETIC AND EXCITING IT IS?

when i tell you my heart can’t take it

1. Jellyfish Talk

Of course, of course, this is the TOP Forester moment. I mean. How could it not be? The romantic light, the heart to heart, Jester first and foremost checking on how Fjord is feeling with his mission and then carefully bringing up her negative feelings, for the first time, willingly, because she trusts him so much. And Fjord, who just had Caleb open his eyes about Jester hiding her emotions, being so tentative around her, so careful. Fjord being vulnerable too, opening up about his own negative emotions, give and take, so that she will feel better opening up. Fjord being so soft and reassuring for her, coming up with crazy plans to make her laugh and cheer her up. THE SOFTNESS with which he says “Don’t be sad. Your mama is pretty proud of you, that much is clear.” He’s so gentleeeee

And listen listen listen this moment is also key because of how much it affected what came next. Like, Avantika comes and muddles everything up, but this talk lingers between them as a moment of sincerity before all the lies, and then, as soon as they move on from this hell, Fjord’s main priority is getting Jester back to her mom, making sure Jester is okay, trying to return to that point. It takes them a while, of course, but you can tell this moment is a strong foundation for them to find their way back to each other.

Because in this moment, in the ship surrounded by beauty, they saw each other without masks.

[breaniebree]

A Second Chance Chapter 219

I received an amazing number of reviews on this chapter and I wanted to share them/address some of them here to show my immense appreciation for those who take the time to drop me a line or two for what I write.

Some of you have decided after this chapter you can no longer follow my story and while it saddens me, I expected it.  I write first for myself and I know where I want this story to go and while I hope you all keep reading it -- I know that not everyone will continue it. 

Devereaux13: I can’t. You really just did that to us? Started this story with a oh! Sirius is gonna live! But NOO u had to frick us all over. Oh my god. I love you for this story but hate you for this story. I cried more this time than the cannon one. Goddamn

Lightningscar: Huh, well, judging from the reviews, this chapter is getting you a lot of heat... personally, I though it was great in many ways, both in action, description of thoughts/feelings and great descriptions of what was going on. My biggest beef, though, gotta be this: *Ginny grabbed Luna's hand and the two of them climbed onto the wolverine's back* Ehm, it is likely it was explained in previous chapters, and if memory serves, Animagi are generally slightly larger than their natural counterparts, but... a wolverine is generally about the same size as a medium dog, shoulder height being around 30-45 cm (12-18 inches), 65–107 cm (26–42 in) long (not counting the tail). Basically, Ginny and Luna are crawling on top of a Spaniel or a Golden Retriever (on the small size) Yes, wolverines are ridiculously strong compared to their size, capable of carrying prey many times its own size... carrying dragging it. One big difference between carrying something in its powerful jaws, compared to carrying something heavy on its back. A few other minor beefs Ehm, why did Voldemort pull a Jafar on the cat (Lady G, was it?) and not outright kill it? So they got giants wandering down mid London without anyone being the wiser? I'm sure you have thought of the logistics about it :) Well, all in all, great chapter. Things have advanced rapidly compared to canon, for better (less Horcruxes) and worse (Ministry bye-bye)... though, in the latter case, it can be interpreted somewhat ambigious. Fallen as in the place (which was a given, seemed to be completely overrun suddenly... makes one wonder where all of the defence forces went, guess we will find out sooner) or if it has fallen as an orginazation like they did in canon. Curious to see what happens next. Yours sincerely, Lightningscar

Menna Taha: Ok let me just say.. Sirius was going into battle with the intent to save his son, knowing that his Fiancée who he was very much in love with was pregnant with TWINS. I mean you’d think he would be more careful than in the books where he was reckless, lonely, rusty and under house arrest in a place he hated. Also the ministry fell! Just like that! After all the preparation and the relations with the french, Bulgarian and Russian ministries AND the fae and the army they made AND the warning they recieved! What were they fucking sleeping! I love you please don’t hate me.

They were not sleeping, but they weren’t prepared like they should have been.  It’s a problem that will be addressed.

HGRHfan35: Well...shit... This was a really bad idea: to read this in bed. How the blazes do you expect me to sleep, now?!

Daddy: WTF! Why end it here. WHY!

Wade Bradford: Noooooooooooooooo!

AZfangirl: i cant believe you killed sirius. this one really hurts

Ofglitterandgiggles: I’m broken

axelvaz: Started this about a week ago and I’m finally all caught up! But oh my gosh! What a cliffhanger! Sirius!

Emeralds and Rubies: I thought we might get off easy when Pettigrew fell through the veil, butI’m heartbroken for Harry and Zee, but you definitely did this whole plot point justice.

maximusrexmundi: Eeeeeehhhhh so I was with you until the very end. I just can't imagine a Voldy who is objectively in a weaker position (than in the books) being able to muster a force that could attack and defeat a FULLY prepared ministry who both knew he was coming AND had international allies

Runningtwiceasfast: I have to say I am incredibly impressed with this chapter. I am obviously sad as I was in canon when Sirius died but due to the more uplifting tone of your work overall that you would shy away from a turn like this. Sirius' death is so important in canon a it really is a turning point in the story. Obviously when Cedric died it was sad but Sirius' death made everything all the more real. Your Harry has gotten so much more of a life and childhood than canon Harry but he too is now faced with the reality of life without Sirius. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Joanne: Wow! I’m so sad. I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin in honour of Siri. I had hoped that this part of canon would be ignored but alas. War is war. Amazing storytelling: you made us feel this loss and that takes talent. I both dread and look forward the next chapter. Will Harry take Ginny with him? Will the breakup occur? Did Remus and Tonks make it out? Will there be a funeral? So many questions! Enjoy your birthday and rest while we all grieve.

Ahugefun: I need you to undo sirius death. Im not joking He shouldnt Not with zee pregnant and harry so attached to him Its not fair to us the readers who enjoyed your story so much andddd already mourned sirius a little bit when he was kissed before you changed that.. Im hoping that you wont kill remus and tonks in the end of the war. U are your own story and if somthing happen in jkr world doesnt mean it should here!

Everything that happens in JKR’s world is what inspired me to write my story so of course it affects it.  Some will be the same, some will not -- includes character death.  Not everyone will die who did in canon, but some will, and some who survived in canon, will die here.  

jakegarrett94: nooooooo not sirius

Leaf Ranger: ...I'm sorry...but this...this is exactly why I called fucking bullshit in the last chapter. Because of all this. This. My problem isn't the pacing of your story. My problem is all this death and carnage and bullshit happened...not because of something realistic...but because the Grey lady, for no reason, was a cryptic dumbass. That is my problem. While it'd be hard to swallow, I'd have accepted most of what happened in this chapter if there was an ACTUAL reason, in the story, as to why they weren't able to be told where the diadem was. but there wasn't. The only reason was solely because YOU wanted it that way. And it's your story, fine, but at the very least, there should be a damn good reason WHY, in the story itself, things happen the way they do. It should never...EVER be just because you, the author, want it to happen that way. because then it breaks the immersion of the reader, if something happens solely for the sake of you, the author, having it happen that way. *sighs* To be honest? I'm sorry, but this, this just is too much. You killed off Sirius and had the Ministry fall DESPITE the preparations they had already made, despite the warnings they had. That just...no. I'm sorry, but no. I'm done. Thanks for what was a pretty entertaining story up to this point, but after this? Just nope. It's not worth it. It really isn't.

Sorry to hear that, but again, it is obvious to us the readers where the diadem is, but not to them.  The Grey Lady can be cryptic if she wants as she’s dead and has nothing to lose, it’s up to our heroes to find the answer.  Sorry you feel it’s not worth it, thanks for reading as long as you did.

Redplayer1998: Please tell me it's a trick sirius can't be dead not after 200 chapters of building his character please no

Dutchie: Oh man Sirius died, bummer! Still a great story.

Whiton: Hey I’m a bit late but I wanted to say happy belated birthday. I love this story it’s fun it’s sad it’s thought provoking and is just a wonderful thing to read. Hope this finds you well and hope you keep writing.

AkashiyaHyrule: What the... this can't be it. What's the point of creating all that military platoons, and gathering allies-if the Ministry are just going to fall so fast? This feels waaay to early for this story plot to occur. But that's just my opinion. Hopefully you got a plan that works, and it's believable. It's also in my opinion that if Sirius Black's "death" is true (hope it's not), Zacharias should not be with anyone else or find someone else to replace him. I suspect you might do something of that nature. You haven't shy away from all the random romances that occurs, even in minor characters. Don't think I haven't notice your tendencies to ship characters! Anyways, it would be annoying, weird, not the same, awkward, and off-putting. I hope that will never happen. But then again, this your AU, so you have the final say on what you want to implement. I invested a lot of my time in this piece of fanfic, so I don't wish for it be ruined by very disagreeable choices (it's all subjective, of course). I mean no disrespect, as I know writing is a tough pastime, and you deserve to be commended for the amount of time you put into your AU. So, good luck. You deserve your break, and hopefully things will be explained Chapter 220! P.S: He's really dead, isn't he? I guess I would have to expect the death of Remus, Tonks, Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, Lavender Brown (at least in the movies), Dumbledore, Snape, Moody, Dobby, etc, etc. P.S. Why the hell am I just naming character deaths?

Guest: There . Are . No . Words. Saz J

Guest: I, like so many other readers here, have absolutely loved the changes you have made to the story of Harry & Sirius - it has been a wonderful story that we have looked forward to reading every week. However, as much as I love your story, I am upset and disappointed that you had this last chapter play out the way it did. You have, for 218 chapters, written about great changes and strengths for Harry, all the others, and especially Sirius. To have this last chapter happen almost like the original version (book & movie) is a bit of a let-down to your earlier chapters. I will still look forward to reading your story, but maybe without the enthusiasm I have had this past year.

KittenWithAnAx: damn it! I'm crying! Why do I always hope that Sirius survive? even when I watch the movie I hope he don't die! I hate and I love you! yes A break is need! let us mourn in peace! my baby died! and I know that in two weeks I will be back! because I'm too curious and I love how you write! I will still mourning Sirius but I will be back... anyway I will go cry in the shower! have a nice two week break! (and Happy Birthday!)

Blitz90: Hello Breannie ! First of all, I wanna say that your story is awesome ! I really like many of the change that you bring to the HP world! Congrats on that ! Now, about chapter 219, nice chapter all around but I felt that the training they got change nothing but maybe because of the stress to fitgh Death Eater explain it to... maybe you can show me the light on this ? Second, the death of Sirius... I must say that I am disapointed about that. I know that you said in the beginning that it will be ultimately a Hinny story but for me, Sirius was the heart and soul of you fiction. Lets hope that he is just in shock or king of a coma !

Qarz: You put a lot of effort into this, writing so many words is nothing to sneeze at and it shows dedication. However, you don't seem to understand that actions have reactions. If you make changes in Canon then the whole story has to change to make any modicum of sense. You didn't do that and the more than 1.5m words are a waste since it led to the same place and somehow things are even worse than in said Canon. I truly pity those who read this huge story just to be disappointed.

nesciamema: Kinda disappointed by Harry's shoddy fighting since they've all been training for a while, the only one who seemed to be thinking strategically was Ginny before she was taken out. Hoping Zee doesn't miscarry and fights for the babies rights as heir to the Blacks. No way in hell should any Malfoy hold the title with what just happened.

goldenone: thank you for posting this on my birthday it was a great gift but also HOW COULD YOU IMA CRY

aj613: ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod I was hoping Sirius would be spared holy shit oh my god whyyy? Amazingly written as always, BUT WHY?! THEY WERE GONNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES AND HARRY CALLED HIM DAD I—

Rufus777: I understand why you had to kill Sirius. But it still makes me sad. Well written as always. I've been a fan since chapter one. I had forgotten about the Dursley stuff. Good on you to remind everyone of those memories. Keep up the awesome -rufus

kyle.grimm90: I am so sad that Sirius died again... I was really hoping he would survive this time. I love you story is so addictive but I wish that would have gone different. I was so excited he didn’t go through the veil I was jumping for joy and then wammm he died. I won’t stop reading but it killed me when he died.

Haillie: WHAT! OH COME ON!

yunkol76: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for the present! Now time to enjoy another GREAT chapter

coloredwords: First things first. A very happy birthday to you. I hope you have (had) a wonderful day. Second I wish you no riot reviews for your birthday. As much as I want to know what happens next, I respect you too much to shout and riot. But what a chapter! Damn. When Peter fell through the curtain I thought for a second Sirius would be safe. But alas. My last hope lies within some time turner or time room miracle. And all of a sudden we skipped right to the beginning of DH. I'm so curious to see what happens next. Have fun writing and enjoy your two weeks off. I will be here, waiting patiently.

Fruitcake49: I would rather this entire chapter be a nightmare. Why do Sirius and Harry always get the short dirty end of the stick? Such terrible childhoods and Sirius has to die leaving Harry alone. I gotta tell you if anyone other than a character in a story were put under this much pain and unhappiness they would crack and cease to function. As much as I like this story, Harry needs Sirius. I'm tired of people killing him off.

Steelcode: NO NO NO NO NO! HE WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED...HE HAS KIDS! WHAT ABOUT HARRY'S KIDS! WHAT ABOUT SIRIUS' FUTURE! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE PLEASE!

X.pix.X: Happy birthday, and great chapter

Undead Gothic Princess: you are mean and a god all at once! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time reading this, then took a sigh of relief when pettigrew died cuz I thought "hey, Sirius will be fine now, he survived!" then wham! I dont think he's really dead dead though. they'll either be a way so that it was polyjuice or maybe they use a time turner. something better happen so that he just appears through the front door/hospital wing and is like "whys everyone so down when my hansome face is here?!" please let it be true, otherwise I dont think I can go on in this cruel world xxx

HarryPotterLover2422: Such an amazing chapter! I have enjoyed reading this story for quite some time now and look forward to each new chapter. I am so sad with what happened to Sirius, but I am looking forward to what’s to come! I loved the Lucius called Theo his son that was amazing! I think one of my favorite things about this story, other than how amazing it is, is how you humanize especially the Malfoy family in terms of Draco and Theo. Amazing as always! Happy belated birthday! Can’t wait for more! ️

Leo: Happy Birthday! I was so excited to see that you have written this chapter, until I read it, I can't believe you've hit us with the double whammy. This chapter both made me cry and amazed at your incredible writing skills. I hope you carry on and finish this story. However, most importantly, please, please please, please, puppy eyes please can you post the chapter. I know you said you won't but imagine puppy eyes, you know you can't say no to that. Keep us the brilliant work.

I am imagining puppy eyes, but no, I’m sorry.

GoldenPotterFan: Chapter 219 and the first time I am commenting. Started reading this story between Christmas and New Year 2018 and read all chapters up to then by the time I went back to work. Since then I have waited for updates every week. Somehow, I don't believe that Sirius is dead. Just a feeling I have. I also think Lucius might be working against Voldemort while still not quite working for the Order. I would not be surprised if he saves Sirius somehow. I cannot wait for another update. PS Happy Birthday, I hope you had a great day :)

devonleney27: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Thank you for the gift of this chapter, sorry I didnt get you anything!

DoodleBug78: OMFG cannot believe that! Really?!

witchyromy: mmmm i would have thought that with the time living in the magical world, and all the extra training harry has done, with sirius and remus and mischa and the rest of the group as well in the extra defense lessons that this would have gone better, they almost only used stupify and some 1st year spells. The whole thing is 80% the same as the original... i have to say i am a bit disappointed.

Sorry to hear that, but I kept what I needed to keep in there for a reason and I hope you will stick around to see that, but if not, well thanks for reading.

Guest: Welp, I’m crying. I’ve been following this story for a while, and honestly didn’t expect to be so upset about Sirius’ death, again. You’ve done wonderful work at recreating this moment. There are so many tiny complexities in this rendition and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Hoping zee’s fall didn’t hurt those babies. Thank you for your work. ️

snowball0709: Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day:) Now to the story.. HOW COULD YOU KILL SIRIUS? This story is all about his second chance! And the wedding, the twins... come on, siriusly! I really hope you have something up your sleeve and that he miraculously lives somehow. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Lolikiano: I'm so excited you posted early! I can live with the cliffhanger as an exchange! Your stories have inspired me to write my own fanfiction and I can't thank you enough for that! I'm looking forward to your next update in two weeks! P.S. I love the "Surprise" pregnancy (which i TOTALLY called when Zee got ill!) I can't wait to read Harry's reaction!

Maggie1874: I'm so sad and disappointed that Sirius died. I was really hoping he'd live in your story.

Krazyasibe: Happy birthday! But why would you do that! I love Sirius!

alix33: No need for anyone to shoot Nott senior in his undersized wanker, Ginny will just have bat bogeys coming out of it rather painfully (and satisfactorily for us readers) in a jiffy. Dumbles had sweet fanny adams to do with the six being able to turn into animaguses. I like Lady Godiva's way of dealing with Death Eaters far better than I do any of the light side's humans' only effective for a couple of seconds stupefying. That vile bitch Bellatrix killed Sirius! I wonder which charm was used on the statue which made it keep Harry away from Dumbles and Tom Riddle junior.

wheezing-reader: Happy Birthday! Your story is probably one of my all-time favorite fics! Saying that WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! No. This is not okay. I'm not okay with this.

Josh: Can't believe you killed Sirius! Hope something miraculous is going to happen. This is supposed to be about "A Second Chance" for him, so he needs to be alive!

Menna Taha: Happy birthday! But still how fucking dare you

jmdaz44: I know Sirius canon-ly dies in the fifth book but I was hoping you’d spare us somehow, especially after the proposal and pregnancy. Instead you were just fattening us up to be slaughtered. You’re cruel. I love the story and your writing but it hurts. It hurts. I truly hate your Bella. I should have waited to read this until this evening because now I feel like my whole day is ruined and it is just starting. I hope you’ve got something feel-good planned because I’m pretty down on this right now. I guess that parallels where we are in the story; things are getting real and nothing is for certain anymore. Hope is a dangerous thing.

alyson3il: First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a wonderful day, and short hiatus to get everything straight! Second of all, WHHHHYYYYYY?! WHY? Why? Y? y? WHHYYYY! I thought Sirius would be SAFE, you lured us into security with Peter, but then it just HAD to happen. I got my hopes up that it wouldn't be him, he had Zee, he had the twins on the way, HE WAS GONNA GET MARRIED! I get that things happen, BUT THIS THING DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN, or maybe it did. You're the author, you have a plan in place, and you know what you're doing. I'll just be hurt for the next two weeks.

Miss Elyon: 1) Happy birthday dear ! All good for you! 2) Thad Nott - It was too late! (I loved that Lucy killed this son of a troll) And Wormtail ... I'm sure you will be very well received in hell! 3) Bella ... fucking crazy bitch ... something will come to you and it won't be pretty! 4) More importantly - You made me cry so fucking hard with Sirius. I went into depression until you post again. I truly love your story (although it makes me cry like a baby!). The pain at his death was more brutal than the book. I know you have something planned (I hope) and I will be reading (with a sniffling nose) the next chapter! To cure this chapter I'll read the whole story again and cry all over again ... I think I like to suffer ... kkkk See you in the next chapter ;)

chefke: o.m.f.g. omfg. I'm freaking out

xcherry91x: OMG NOOOOOO! I was hoping that Sirius wouldn’t die. I cried when I read that. The babies! They gots no daddy

SuperBossy: Not happy at all.

rolly21: I can’t believe you killed Sirius. I was really hoping that you wouldn’t.

LilyBlack18: I was so not expecting that. I was sure Sirius wouldn't die . My god, reading his death again was pure torture. At least Harry still have Zee, Remus, etc. I'm so sad, though... I really thought you wouldn't keep that part of the story, and you gave me false hope when Peter died x)

greg.is.wilson: You are evil.

Mutt N. Feathers: Yes my dear, I do trust authors. Needless pain is never inflicted by them. I made readers think I killed Sirius too, but instead had other plans. You love him too much. I live in hope. Mutt

supersandman86: Oh man! Not Sirius! He just got his life to perfection. Loving son, a fiance and a child on the way. Nice to see Wormtail redeem himself by shoving zee out of the way and Thaddeus got what he deserved. Now we just need to give Crouch and Bellend Lestrange pain that even they can't endure. This was always the dark point in the whole franchise in my opinion, where Harry felt the most hopeless. Let's see how it goes.

Sirius black411: You are so cruel...so so soooo cruel. They were going to get married...have twins and raise them.. How could you?! I can't imagine what Zee must be going through but she is still there for Harry. She will be a great mother.

Wodril: This Sirius didn't really seem like the guy to be done in while taunting. Not being hit by the killing spell, and the whole "he'll writhe in pain as he dies" spiel makes it a bit more uncertain. I never really appreciated him coming back to life after the dementors, and kinda hope, for the sake of the story, he'll stay dead this time. He will probably show up as an inferi anyway?

Jewels46: Omg... I’m crying! You’ve reduced me to tears. I know it was a very real possibility, but I hoped it wouldn’t actually come to fruition even though I understand the significance. I do really like how you wrote his death though, a much more fitting end. The bit you added with Peter had led me into a false sense of security that the lovable mutt would be safe. I just can’t even right now. Wonderful chapter. I’m going to cry some more and eagerly await the next one

Dianne: Yes I need atleast 2 weeks to emotionally reconstruct myself after this bombshell of a chapter. Deep breaths in and out. Curious about how you've brought a 7th year canon event now itself. I'm not sure I even took in everything coz I was crying so hard and couldn't read clearly, was reading this at clg and I surprised everyone by suddenly crying out loud and sobbing :'( and everyone was baffled when I said one of my most favourite characters just died painfully and I was crying for that, but they don't understand the power of reading or the power of HP thankyou for an early update and kudos you're an amazing writer!

purplevictory: That wasn't nice. I mean, happy birthday and everything, but did your present to yourself really have to be the torture of your fans? I know Sirius will be fine, I just don't know how you're planning to get there. Thank you for the early chapter. But, when your birthday celebrations are over you really ought to write "I will stop being mean to my readers" 50 times. You don't have to use a blood quill.

Write lines as punishment?  I don’t have time for that, I need to write the next chapters.

xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Noooooo I can’t believe that after all this you still killed Sirius! When his life was finally all good with babies on the way!

eternal king of fire: wow this chapter was a tear jerkier poor sirus and zee

speedsONEandONLY: No. Nope. No. I refuse to see this as a real chapter. None of this happened. I mean what was the point of letting them be happy, of getting rid of the Horcrux early. Only to fucking destroy them. To make him want to sacrafice, kill himself anyway. This chapter didn't happen. This is a "what couldve been" I doesn't make any fucking sense. Nor does it for the narrative. So, No. I refuse to think, Believe, You could be so heartless to characters/people you love. That you made us love. I don't see anyway how the story Could really go on, if this chapter actually happened. It reads more like the last Twilight movie from when Aro rips off Carlisles head. Sorry, but no.

Sorry, I guess I’m heartless.  Comparing me to Twilight though, that’s heartless. 

Ari Black-18: I know that this is a war, but please let Sirius escape death again, don't do this please, please make this better, tell me that Remus and Tonks somehow save him, tell me that even tho he is in bad condition he's still alive, don't leave his twins and Harry without a father, don't live Zee without her love, don't rip away Remus's brother from him, give him a second chance from the original story, let him be there with Harry at the end, the world it's already too shitty for it even to suck in a fanfic. Call me naive or delusional, but I actually believe that this is not over, I trust you enough to know that you wouldn't do this, your story it's to damn good to lose such a character just like that, so I know you are going to fix it, you're going to pull a surprise under your sleeve and make us love it so much. I believe in you, I mean you wouldn't just kill Sirius like that, not this Sirius, your Sirius. I trust you, I know you wouldn't do this. Please enjoy your break, chill, eat a lot of snacks, maybe even party a little, and then, please, bring our uncle Siri back.

Seriuslypadfoot: Hey Breanie, very well written as per usual. I hope Sirius isn’t actually dead, as this story is one of the few Sirius and Harry fics that I have thoroughly enjoyed and don’t want his character to end this way. Powerful moment with Malfoy in this chapter, but I wish he showed more backbone and fully went against the death eaters like his family wants. Again, hope Sirius doesn’t end here, the death will really hurt the story in my opinion. But this is your story so write it how you will. Thanks for your hard work!

Thank you!  Malfoy doesn’t have much of a backbone, but I do have a plan for him.  I’m sorry you feel that Sirius’ death hurt the story, I think it’s important for what’s next.

DetroitNate: A review? I hated this chapter. Oh the writing is great as usual, but what happened in it? I hated, loathed, detested it. I hope justice comes and comes quicker than Hinny did in this story cause it is getting too difficult to read of how these vicious bastards seem to get away with anything they want. JKR did two things I can't stand in canon kill off Sirius and Fred and now I'm wondering if this story will follow her on that pattern... I hope not, I really do.

Thank you and I promise, justice will come quicker than Hinny -- as in it won't take another 197 chapters, maybe 196, just kidding! 

Paola1991: So is this death for real or is he coming back? I mean you tricked us once. I guess i kind of assumed you’d never kill him off because it was kind of a sirius fix it story? Where he gets a better life? This took me by surprise. Its primarily why i hate book 5. I thought someone else was gonna die instead. Hes the one character i would never kill i guess. Especially with zee having his kids! Not sure how i feel.

Guest: can i honestly beg something? can you please bring back sirius alive? please? i know u wont do it.. u have a plan with ur story... but as a big big fan of ur story im really really begging will u please?

Queen Raja: Wow. And I thought the book’s death was heartbreaking! Seriously, bravo. I don’t cry easily, and this chapter made me UGLY cry! Waiting until two weeks will be very hard, but I’m glad you’re able to take some much deserved time for yourself and Dusk. Happy Birthday, Breanie!

Maisie: how and why could you do this to mee im cryinggg please say its looking better in the next chapter

midnitewanderer: Dumbass went and reread it. Not gonna lie, it was a brilliant chapter but I am still this close to hunting your ass down and forcing to rewrite Sirius back in. Where’s my angry emoji when I need it. I can’t help but feel that you wrote Zee the way you have specifically for this chapter. Not only does she come into their lives and becomes the best pseudo mom ever written in any HP fanfic, she basically adopts Harry into her entire family. Sure there’s stories out there with the Weasley’s treating him as one of their own but not like this. ZEE’S ENTIRE FAMILY ADOPTS HARRY. Your sneaky ass has been prepping us from the beginning of her intro! He calls them all Grandad/Grandpa, Grandmama/Grandma, etc. so that eventually he sees that he’s never truly alone. Then enter the Weasleys, McGonagall, Rem&Tonks, Andi&Ted, Dumbles, Nev, Lu, Mione, he’s surrounded by so much love. I just know the next chapter is going to be hard for me seeing as I’m a crybaby but damn it to hell, I can’t wait. 2 whole weeks. What am I gonna do?

Thank you.  I guess I was kind of sneaky like that, wasn’t I? 

Zacnelson0628: Breanie... I kinda had a feeling that was going to happen. Still really sad though. I hope you kill of bellatrix in a spectacular manner.

I will do my best -- I do know exactly how it will happen and who will do it.

notthatchhavi: Oh, wow!  I don't know what to say!  This was a extremely well-written chapter When Lucius said that Theo was his son...it was such a moment I went ooooooohhh Well other then that..I cried I literally cried when Sirius died and yes I am still in denial I hope atleast Remus and Tonks will be okay.. Harry needs some support from one father When Sirius died.. it broke my heart.. Harry calling Sirius Dad.. and Sirius saying that Harry was the best thing ever happened to him I feel that he was not saying that just to Harry.. it was to James too because the Potters were the best thing which happened to Sirius I feel really bad for Zee...being pregnant with your fiancée's children and then him dying is not an easy thing to go through But the most importantly...this chapter made me cry I have read many fanfictions.. but i have never cried.. they might have been super good.. but has never made me cry I think the ability for a writer to make the reader both and laugh and cry is extremely important and difficult...I think by this story you have proven yourself as a damn good writer

Having Harry call him dad was vital and every time I tried to change it, I came back to it.

josht1987: Just know, that I am very mad at you you right now. We'll see what happens after the next one. An extremely well written chapter, but... You know what you did.

Daerwin45: not Sirus oh please he is so important it was going so good im sorry i am just a fan and it has been such a great story i did not mean to question your reason. i just was enjoying harrys and Sirus' relationship.

PotterBlondie: Oh my god, I wasn’t expecting Sirius to die! Or for anything to go this badly in one chapter! I hope he gets to escape death again? Pretty please? I hope you had a wonderful Birthday!

midnitewanderer: Nope. I’m done. I’m done. I AM FUCKING DONE! I will have no more toilet tissue by the end of the night. My chicken is currently burning on the stovetop. My emotions are freaking fried right now. Not only was he... UGH! I can’t. I literally can’t right now. I know this is fiction and whatnot, but my heart is hurting. How in the hell did I get so emotionally invested in this damned story?! Now, I’m going to remove my burning chicken and cry in a corner.

scrappy8: OMG what a chapter Poor Sirius is gone

Covley Hatake: Please let Sirius some how had lived. I like cheered when Pettigrew went in the veil instead and then that. You like ripped my heart out with Sirius. Like come on. Still good story but wanted Sirius to be there for the happy ending. I picture Harry though being the best big brother to those babies and protecting the hell out of Zee and the babies. Betting she tells Harry soon as well. Also question if he is dead what does that mean for them claim the Black title? With out him to claim them they would be seen as illegitimate and as the deal with Malfoy was made he could take it? curious on that one.

akshutalankar: well this is a really bad chapter to be posted on birthday... plz give us next soon... make Sirius alive pretty please

shooter124: O my god, I am crying. Please don’t take Sirius from us, Zee needs him and so does Harry! However that death scene was crazy good. I’m hoping that you have this elaborate plan as to why Sirius had to fake his death or something. Please please please say he is still alive, Sirius and Zee have not finished their story yet and Remus needs his best friend. This is my favourite story I have read on FF, you are a fantastic writer and I get excited every time you post!

Wolf's scream: Nice set of Bat-Bogeys, Miss Weasley! Yeah, a ticked-off wolverine is NOT something I'd prefer to cross. Greengrass is there? That's ... something I was not expecting. Yeah, Theo's advice to smash the Prophecy seems pretty sound to me. (With the possible caveat that certain DEs might lose whatever semblance of control that they have...) Seriously, Hermione? That's not a "baby." And in any case, Petrification is not intrinsically harmful: it merely decreases the probability that the Petrified one will pose a danger to himself or others. Sheesh. Somebody needs to get her priorities sorted. :-) I'm a little surprised that the DEs that trapped the teenagers in the Brain Room were using less-than-lethal spells. Granted, I'm rather glad that they did, but I don't understand whys. Well..! Lucy IS good for something, I guess... It's rather a pity that Harry hadn't smashed the Prophecy and grabbed another as a decoy. :-} Oh! What would happen if Harry were to chuck the Prophecy through the arch...? Ah - excellent move, Lady G! :-) Remus was dueling Dolohov? But Harry had Petrified Dolohov just a bit ago... maybe another DE released him, or the spell wore off? So - the Rat did something useful before departing... BTW, a fairly effective dueling technique might be to blast the floor/ground out from under one's opponent. Or merely make it incapable of supporting the opponent's weight. Especially if one is in a structure and not on the bottom floor. Well, at least there's no ambiguity at all regarding Sirius's fate. :-/ Well, laughing at Bella is a pretty good way to ensure that she's even more off-balance, yeah. It's good that Dumbledore addresses Tom by his given name (vs. the nom de guerre that he made up)

Guest: You cant do this Sirius can't be dead! Please let him live! P.S. happy Birthday Seriously though bring Sirius back.

dhnysports88: for the love of god tell me they planned to fake his death, DON'T DO THIS TO US

minerdude: Wow this is a great story, even if you killed Sirius, although with the next chapter I hope we discover thinking he was dead was part of the fog of war. If Sirius is dead it was truly well written to get our guard down by sending Peter though the veil

Old-fashionedAnglophile: What. The. ACTUAL. HELL?! Are you trying to destroy us? And you're making us wait for it? Damn your excellent and captivating writing. I'll be waiting for the next chapter with bated breath.

Thank you (I think).

littlehughesy: WHY? Why must you keep killing off characters that I love!? It's like Game of Thrones all over again! I get that it is canon for Sirius to die at the Ministry, but for fuck's sake can't Harry just have a little less suffering for once? For the love of God, if you kill Remus and Tonks in this story, I am done. Just done. I cannot handle my emotions right now. Okay, venting over. As much as I don't like it, your story is still fantastic. And hey, cheers for the early update and happy birthday!

Atea1793: You... are... absolutely... evil... YOU KILLED SIRIUS, KILLED DEADALUS DIGGLE, LEFT ZAHIRA A PREGNANT WIDOW BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT MARRIED, MAY HAVE LEFT HARRY AN ORPHAN AGAIN, AND HAD THE MINISTRY FALL A WHOLE YEAR EARLIER THAN IN CANON?! I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE AS SICK IN THE HEAD AS VOLDEMORT IS! Excuse me while I spend these next two weeks gathering a mob to go after your twisted ass. The Death Eaters will seem like playground bullies when we come for you...

Guest: Omg. Omg. You actually killed Sirius. I cried. I honestly would have rather see Remus die, but maybe that’s what makes this story stronger and more intense. I definitely need 2 weeks to process this. Poor Zee and poor Harry.

lcwintersoldier: Goddamit how could you kill Sirius :'(

LifeonEarth: Oh come on you hand to bring Marauder into this. This hurts.

I’m sorry, but I thought Marauder deserved to be in Harry’s thoughts.

White Squirrel: Why does everyone feel the need to kill off Sirius even when there's good reason for events to play out differently? Honestly, this whole section felt like it wasn't up to your usual standards. You copied so much from the book, even when they had different people there and a different plan. It would have made more sense and wouldn't have been that hard to choreograph a different battle sequence.

I felt that it was important to keep it similar which I will explain later on, but of course you’re entitled to your opinion.

love reading20613: Oh god no please no

alistark94: What an ending! I gotta say I'm suprised you still killed off Sirius. Great story by the way!

Anixara: Wow, I find this story just in time for the latest chapter to be THAT. God damn it. Now I have to figure out if waiting for the next chapter is even worth it with how much that fucked with my emotions.

Breaniefan: This was so unrepresentative of your characters to just shove them back into JK's exact plot. This Harry would never have been so impulsive, Ginny and Theo would have escaped, the well trained Order would have been quicker on the mark and more effective. This was just lazy writing, taking so much of the original story and just shoehorning it in - I'm so disappointed! Also why the fuck would you kill Sirius? The whole point of fanfic is to FIX those stupid character deaths from the original, not go and do it again. I've followed this story from the start and loved it, but if Sirius is still dead next chapter... You've lost a reader.

I’m sorry that I’ve lost a reader over this, but as I said, I knew he would die from the first chapter.  Harry would be that impulsive because Ginny was kidnapped and there's no way he wouldn't try to save her.  She and Theo may have been able to escape but not unscathed.  I don’t believe that fan fiction is made to “fix” stupid character deaths because the original story is amazing and I’m getting the chance to play with the characters we all love so much and Sirius had a second chance on life and he lived it.

Adelite: AAAAH. aaAAAH. I came here for a BETTER WORLD and you killed SIRIUS BLACK of ALL PEOPLE and just when HE LEARNED HE IS HAVING TWINS?!?? I swear to god AaaaaahahahAH the original didn’t hurt this bad I read 219 chapters in 2 weeks just to be welcomed with this I am absolutely gonna riot and also what happened to Tonks? P.S if you kill Rem, Tonks and Fred in the battle of Hogwarts I will personally pee your pants

Pegg7: I can not believe it!!It has been chapter that i'm saying something bad was about to happen, but not this bad!!!!!The only think i can do now is wait and speculate: you had wormtail die through the veil and not Padfoot, so, maybe, there is a chance, i have hope! By the way, the chapter itselff is good, nothing less to say... I'm going to have a lot of speculation as how the thing are going to be next, so i'll dread this 2 next weeks Love you (a little less) as always

lovelyellie: that really hurt my feelings damn

phoenixmaiden13 (Lady Phoenix): I so hate this chapter, yet it was so good. Still can't believe you killed off Sirius, I thought he was safe for a minute but I guess not. At least they will have a body to bury. I'm going to go cry now.

They will have a body to bury and I hope that chapter makes you all feel the emotion as much as I did writing it.

MrToddWilkins: But he is still alive! The blood-Harry’s right!

Bosma18: Happy birthday but why did you have to kill Sirius he was one of my most favorite characters he and zee where supposed to marry and live happily ever after I wanted Sirius to die of old age while being surrounded by his grand children

Jmcglynn522: You killed him.... you killed him... he just found out that Zee was preggers, with twins(FYI: Taking antibiotic potions and birth control potions = Twins. Mine just turned 20.).And there’s no do over this time....no time turner.... just... you killed Sirius Black.I love your story, I’m bawling hysterically right now, but I don’t like you very much at the moment.... you killed him....why??? (Happy parts: Ginny preforming the “bat bogey hex” on Thaddeus’s dick for Theo! Lucius killing Thaddeus for hurting Theo, “his son!”. Ron touching “Uranus”. Lady G not dying. Zee not dying. And Pettigrew’s death was to kind.) And Happy Birthday!!!(Even though I may be traumatized for life.)

Pettigrew’s death may have been too kind but I think it was an important turning point for him in that he saved Zee for Sirius.

LordSmidgeon: I'm hoping so much all this was pushed in his head by Voldemort after the brain room to mess with his psyche. I'm hoping he comes to and they are just getting him away from the veil. Or it was all what he saw in the veil. Like honestly, if you have to have someone die please dont kill Sirius (at least not yet).

Siriuslover: Im in denial. He’s not dead.  How could you kill Sirius!! He was the main reason I’ve loved reading this!! Ugh please take it back I’m so sad

kellykat1889: Your evil.

RiverFord: I think I’m going to need two weeks just to recover from this. I’ve absolutely loved this story so far but you literally just killed off my favorite character and I can’t even...

archiveScrapper: Happy birthday! I'm a long time reader and first time reviewer, but I finally felt like I had something to say (plus wishing you a happy birthday is important). I'm actually weirdly... proud? of you for keeping Sirius's death at this point in the story. In the books it's kind of the point at which Harry has to officially grow up, and realize that even though he's a kid, he's the center of a really vicious war where his actions have very real consequences. And he has no one left to fully protect him either. Even in a fic where Sirius matters a whole lot more, and Harry is gonna be a thousand times more hurt by his death, that moment of change, and of Harry accepting his inevitable place in this fight is really important? So I just wanted to say that as much as I'm really sad about Sirius being gone, because I really did enjoy him getting to be happy for once, i think it's an important moment for the story and I'm really happy that it's one that you kept even in a version of this story that's a lot happier than the original story ever was. I've been wondering how you were gonna handle this moment for a long time now, and although I'm definitely gonna go cry about Sirius's death now, I'm really happy with what you decided to do.

xXQueenOfDragonsXx: NONONONONONONOSIRIUS! I WANT TO HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW BUT I CANT ‘T

TheOneWithWritersBlock: Please tell me this is a dream. Please tell me that Sirius didn't actually die. Please tell me that the ministry hasn't actually fallen. Please tell me it's all one big giant nightmare.

leflemmeenrose: Happy birthday!A break is definitely needed. I'm gonna spend it crying until you upload the next chapter haha. Take your time.

Zerius: Yay! Pettigrew's dead!I am struggling so hard not to say I hate you. I don't actually, but why did you feel the need to kill off Sirius?! He was Harry's family, he had Zee, he was in love, he had such an amazing life and now... Now he's never going to see Harry and Ginny get married, he won't see his children grow up... And Dedalus Diggle? What was the meaning of his death? Why did he have to die? And so cruelly... I love the new battle though. I've got a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Great job, can't wait to see what happens next. Please heal Sirius! Maybe he's not actually dead? Maybe there's a cure? Please say there's a cure! Again, amazing job! Update soon! I love it!

LaureWithAnE: I don’t really like you at the moment. But, happy birthday! How is it, after 17 years, the death of Sirius Black still makes me cry?

PurpleLotus (Person of Earth): Why did you have to kill Sirius? I just can't even process everything that happened. You made me cry and my heart is broken for Harry and Zee and the twins. I don't know what is going to happen and it's killing me. The ministry fallen already...I have no words for the desolation I feel. You have emotionally annihilated me, so congratulations. I understand the need for a break, I will be waiting impatiently for the next update. Happy Birthday and Happy Writing!

[absolutiions]

´   ･   .   ✶   ⧼    madchen   amick,   non   binary,   she   &   they   /   fucked   my   way   to   the   top   by   lana   del   rey   +   eyes   the   color   crimson   and   hands   stained   in   crimson,   too.   victim   of   the   underworld,   you   are   not.   you   came,   not   to   sit   silent   at   his   side   as   dutiful   wives   do,   but   to   whisper   in   his   ear.   pouted   lips   smeared   ruby   stoke   the   flames   of   his   darkest   impulses   and   his   deepest   desires.   you   are   the   conqueror.   you   are   the   queen.   and   may   god   have   mercy   upon   anyone   who   underestimates   this   :   because   you   will   not.    ⧽   ━━   don’t   look   now,   but   that’s   ATHENODORA.   the   TWO   THOUSAND,   FIVE   HUNDRED   &   TWENTY   TWO  (   varying   physical   )   year   old   GIFTED   VAMPIRE   has   been   here   in   seattle   for   three   minutes,   and   is   considered   a   member   of   the   VOLTURI.   they’ve   always   been   MACHIAVELLIAN   &   INDOMITABLE,   but   i   guess   this   town   just   brings   out   the   worst   in people   ;   apparently,   they’ve   been   way   more  INSOUCIANT   &   SUPERCILIOUS   than   usual.   it   wouldn’t   surprise   me   if   they   knew   what   was   going   on.   click   HERE   to   check   out   her   stats.

they   told   you   that   you   were   a   nobody,      so   you   became   the   QUEEN.   (   now   everybody   knows   your   name   )

SECTION ONE OF THREE : background / human era. trigger warnings for talk of pregnancy, death, abuse

born circa 502 bc, in a little village that has no lasting name nor impact in ancient greece. 

five of the children born to her parents survived to adulthood, and since she was the last one... it is almost like, her whole life, she has been suffering from younger child syndrome. who knew !

she very literally grew up in a diff time, so when i say she wasn’t rly close to any of her siblings, i don’t mean it in a like... horrible way. it’s not a reflection of character. they just didn’t have a tight sibling bond, though she loved them greatly. 

same w her parents. they were unexceptional people who lived unexceptional lives, and though she was grateful for, u know... their creation of her - they were not close. they did not, in laymans terms, have the lorelai and rory gilmore dynamic. 

her whole family were content to live their dismal lives, and... tho athenodora did not vibe, she, again - grew up in a diff time. of course she dreamt of more. of course she prayed to the gods for something better. but she was achingly aware of the fact that no such future would ever exist for her. such is life in 400 whatever bc, bumfuck, greece.

she was just barely eighteen when she was married to athanasios, to secure land, or smth, because those were the times. of course it was something like that. 

he was... fine, at first. a little small minded ( that wasn’t the ONLY thing that was small, haha ). he, like everyone, was content to live the same old life, and athenodora just... wasn’t. she had been raised on stories of grandeur, and her parents had thought she would settle for the regular - it should not have been a surprise that she didn’t want to, but gods, did she try.

she never loved him, she can safely say ; but she wished that she did. for a long while, athenodora thought it would be easier, and thought that she could do a lot worse. unfortunately... she cld not.

their lives were meant to follow a certain pattern. they had gotten married, and now he would work all day, make them money, tend their land. she would stay home. cook. clean. raise the children that they were sure to have. athenodora was capable of almost everything expected of her, except for the most important part - she couldn’t seem to give him children. not strong sons. not beautiful daughters. 

at first, he told her that it was fine. 

after a year or so, he still told her that it was fine, but she could see in his eyes that it wasn’t.

two years after this, he called her the ancient greek version of defective for the very first time - and things only got worse from there.

he had always been a perfectly fine husband, until he was not, and athenodora had always wanted to love him, until she did not. she prayed to the gods every morning and night, to give her what her husband so desired. to give her that which would make her life better, even if she knew it would not heal the wounds already caused.

sometimes the gods r not dicks. a miracle! she becomes pregnant, aged twenty four ( i kno it sounded like she was a crone but again please remember the times ). she always thought it was just what was best n only athanasios would care, but , wow... suddenly. she cares. she has never felt this level of love with anything, until now.

but, tragedy :// straight white men ( idk, i just feel like her husband was the root of all evil ) are not so easily satisfied. who wld have guessed he wld continue to be an abusive asshole even after his wife succeeded in getting pregnant? i bet i shocked u all. who wld have guessed that a huge part of his problem wld end up being that suddenly, athenodora clearly cares abt something - and it isn’t him. again. got you all!

over the course of her pregnancy, he becomes, for the first time, a real threat to her - or maybe, athenodora simply never took him seriously until there is another person to think of. either way, she TRULY fears him and what he’s capable of by the time she gives birth, and after he makes some passing remark abt their baby, she yeets the FUCK out of there in the middle of the night, eirene ( baby ) only a handful of days old. she takes what she can carry and nothing more, and she... makes it pretty far, thanks to the kindness of strangers. you love to see it.

she settles somewhere ( she considers to be ) far away, and she makes up a good story : her husband died in a war ( there were probably a lot of time, i dont know ) and she was widowed, left to care for their young daughter alone. i know. its really original. they didnt have tv shows back then to rip stories from though.

stays in a hovel on the edge of their village. think the shittiest home you’ve ever seen and then make it shittier. there are rumors about her being a witch, and she kind of appreciates them, because it keeps kids out of her yard. and shock of all shock : in spite of being... u know. a woman. and not very skilled. she finds a very hot ticket job - working for the very wealthy volturi family who live on the other ( opposite ) outside of town, but like, in a considerably better home, obviously. 

honestly, i don’t kno what the ancient greek equivalent of that secretary in new moon is, but that’s the vibe we’re going for, here. she’s like, a chambermaid or smth. and she makes a tidy little sum. doesn’t question her weirdo bosses that much. doesn’t know what anemia is because im p sure it wasnt discovered by then, but presumes they have it.

and maybe, just maybe, it’s the finesse of the century : or maybe, just maybe, it is destiny. in no time at all, she has caught the eye of the volturi’s most eligible bachelor(tm) : caius volturi. many another worker is made upset by this fact, as athenodora is very quickly alotted VERY special treatment as the apple of his eye, which includes, i don’t know... hand delivered baskets of pomegranates, a nicer home and in due time, the simple pleasures of the flesh.

so that’s pretty neat. and life’s pretty fine. she feels like an ancient greek sugar baby, and honestly, isn’t that all she’s ever deserved? she’s got some nice digs ( i don’t think she’d have called them that ) and a man who worships the ground she walks on and who spoils her with pretty things, and most importantly : she is taking care of her daughter, who i absolutely didn’t forget about. eirene is the literal light of athenodora’s life, and everybody knows it. if i say jean valjean and cosette vibes, can we all pretend we get it?

and then it goes to shit. as things do.

her daughter is fourteen years old, when her father finds them ; and she doesn’t know, she never knows, if he was seeking them out or whether it was all DUMB luck. regardless of it all, he is stood inside her home, his breath coming in angry half pants, and athenodora is convinced that this is it. that her end has come. that her freedom is over. she dies, she thinks, or she returns back to the house that was not her home with him. these are her options. 

she tells her daughter to leave. she stops him from following. when she is shoved and her head hits the table, she is aware of the option he has chosen for them more than all else - but the gods, or perhaps, just one - intervenes.

until this night, athenodora had never known the truth of the volturi. but when her beloved saves her from athanasios, she sees him for what he is. she UNDERSTANDS. and she isn’t frightened. she should be, for sure, she should be running as fast as she can - but all she can think in that moment is that she is free now in all the ways she has never been... and caius, her love, is something so much larger than this life. 

for the first time, the godhood that athenodora has always dreamt of is within her grasp. she makes him promise that once eirene comes of age, he will make her into the same creature that he IS. she makes him swear a solemn oath, and he who has been so infatuated by her for so long cannot argue.

four years. this is all it takes, and then eirene is eighteen - capable of standing upon her own two feet. athenodora leaves her everything - all the gifts she has ever been given, all the wealth accumulated, the home. everything she will not need, once she is gone. and she says a final goodbye.

caius turns her himself. the greatest gift he could ever give her.

and reborn, athenodora is MORE than everyone in her life could ever dream of being. she is the queen of the underworld, the goddess of death. she is all of this, and more. at his side, she finds GREATNESS. and once she had it, athenodora decided she would never again be without. 

SECTION TWO OF THREE : volturi era.

became cool. became powerful. very emma frost of her, rly 

didnt rly care for the rest of the coven outside of caius but sometimes u gotta hang w scrubs 

didyme dies sometime after her turning, and that kind of fucks everybody up

not so much her bc like i said she didnt rly care but... caius b frightened of losing her, i guess

kind of throws a spanner in the works 

she spends a lot of time ‘locked away’. not , like, literally ( bc that’s gross! ) but... caius takes over protective to the extreme

uses this time to harness her power and fuck

not always in that order

also spends a lot of time telling him he deserves to b leader

deserves to b the new aro

who needs powers?

not u, caius

go kick their ass baby i got ur flower-

( he doesn’t go kick their ass but man she wishes he wld )

she’s genuinely devoted to him, however, as much as it sometimes seems as if she’s using him as a means to an end

she DOES do that with a LOT of people, but caius... that’s her baby! her darling! her sweetie pie! fuck everybody else in this house caius, she respects YOU ! 

she jus wants to see him be the best there ever was, and he’s.... p... happy to giv her everything she wants, so their dynamic is actually p equal 

we love to see it

anyway lots of years happened and now she’s here

seattle sucks -athenodora’s official review

but she’s fucking SICK of aro’s shit and thinks her 2020 birthday wld be the best time for an official change of pace

obviously aro can read minds so he knows athenodora has high aspirations but he has learned his fucking lesson w killing ppls mates, i guess

lucky for her!

that’s all i got

hehe

SECTION THREE OF THREE : power.

athenodora is an ungifted vampire in twilight canon, but to that i say : fuck ya chicken strips. in equinox, she be special. her power is life force manipulation, in a pretty unique ( and dare i say ) way.

she was a forty two year old woman, when she was turned. she had lived a life, and she had the MARKS to show for it. but the very first time that she drank human blood from the vein, athenodora realized that she was not as unexceptional as she had always been lead to believe she was. vampires do not change. they’re frozen in time, like statues, portraits, photographs... and yet, before caius’ very eyes - athenodora did what no other vampire could. mere seconds passed, and suddenly ; she was stood before her beloved, decades younger. it lasted as long as her thirst was sated, with her age returning to her as her eyes darkened once more. and it happened all over again, when next she fed. 

over time, she’s come to understand it well enough. she has a particular love of younger humans ; those in their twenties, and thus, physical primes. she thinks that is, in part, down to her gift ; she seeks these out to drink from because when she feeds, she’s not simply drinking their blood, but also, their life force. she’s taking theirs to add to her own.

like many gifted vampires, she has spent time learning what she can of her gift, and learning whether there is some other way to apply it. it took almost two thousand years, but eventually - athenodora discovered that with a touch, her fingertips to their skin ( and a great deal of focus ), she could render another changed, also. it lasts for only a short amount of time - an hour, maybe a little longer, depending on how strong she is. but it works. and it makes her think that, in all her unlimited time : she might just be able to do even more. be a danger. manipulate life force in a way that can DESTROY. she’ll keep on working on that for as long as she lives. 

[jazillia007]

Thoughts on 2x13 - Part 2

Beth and Rio:

So while watching this episode I thought the moments BEFORE the kidnapping and shooting were actually interesting and a good follow up to what had happened in episode 12.

From Beth's point of view, she is nothing more than work for Rio. And honestly, when it comes to the crime part she IS a lot of work for Rio. And I was with Rio for being pissed at her, finding out all the rotten eggs she left behind left and right.

Still she goes to Rio to ask for help and it was heartbreaking to me to see the dismantled apartment but I also thought it was so in character for Rio. He can't trust Beth. With the FEDs breathing up her and therefore his neck, it's only logical for him to abandon his apartment.

I don't really know though why she broke in again. What did Beth try to achieve?

Then Rio is calling her and it was... awkward. I wouldn't call it sweet. It was also a bit weird that Rio made it sound like she called him when actually he called her.

He also tested her. Is Beth gonna lie again? And she did. She wasn't able to tell him that she is in his apartment to ask for help. I don't really understand this either other than for the writers to establish there are cameras in his apartment.

It's not well-written.

Then he hangs up on her and I thought it would've been much better if Beth had called him (if she had his number) and then Rio would've ended the call. But this way it was a bit meh.

I also wouldn't have minded if this would've been the last we would've seen/heard of Rio in season 2. Because honestly I believe if he wanted to he could just disappear for a while until the FEDs calm down.

And then to have him come back in season 3... that would've been nice.

But that's not who Rio is. Beth is his weakness. And despite his own codes he can't stop himself from helping.

That's what this season established.

This season did everything despite them being dysfunctional and problematic that Beth and Rio are more than business partners and that Beth is more to Rio – despite him being usually very careful – and Rio is more to Beth. I'm not talking about some big love story here with a happy ending. But of a complicated relationship with many layers and definitely conflicts but conflicts they overcome.

But then the writers decided to destroy (?) it.

(SPOILERS FOR KILLING EVE SEASON 1 AND 2)

Beth and Rio and the last scene:

As I said before I could've seen Beth and Rio ending up in a situation where they either shoot eachother OR have to decide to shoot the other one or not. But it all depended on how well-written it is.

I'm watching Killing Eve as well and I really don't want to compare Killing Eve with Good Girls because writing-wise there are worlds between these two shows. Killing Eve is well-written, delicate and perfect. Meanwhile Good Girls certainly has its moments but is sloppily written most of the times.

BUT what these two shows have in common is that they have two seasons which ended on similar notes. And I was so in awe when I watched the Killing Eve season 2 finale and right afterwards the Good Girls season 2 finale. Because it made clear why I loved the Killing Eve season finale so much while I didn't like the season finale of Good Girls.

And it all comes down to how it's written and how things are foreshadowed.

The relationship of Eve and Villainelle from the beginning is a relationship of obsession and fascination. It would take up too much time to write about them and all the layers involved but we can say their relationship is as dysfunctional as Beth and Rio (and up until the shooting scene in 2x13 even with the not well-written parts Brio as exactly that made sense to me as well).

There is this cat and mouse game between these two women which ends up with Eve in Villainelle's apartment (and Beth ends up in Rio's apartment) and Eve stabs Villainelle. She panics, trying to find something to stop the bleeding and Villainelle is defending herself by firing in Eve's direction before fleeing.

It's such a culmination of what had went down in season 1. It was shocking but also very much in character with how Villainelle and Eve were established. It was a twist but it didn't feel cheap or just to keep viewers watching. It felt organic.

In the Good Girls season 1 finale we had a similar scene and it felt very organic to me as well. Beth had set up Rio to go to jail and of course she hadn't thought things through. And it all got back to her, with Rio sitting in her dining room with her shitty husband all beaten up. And he gives her the opportunity to shoot either him or Dean to make them even.

It set up very well the dynamic of their relationship. How dysfunctional they're but at the same time can't get enough of eachother. The season ends with the viewer not knowing what Beth is gonna do. It could've felt cheap but it didn't.

We get the end of that scene in the beginning of season 2 and Beth can't do it and Rio is taking the gun from her, telling her she did her best. And then he is shooting Dean and they're even now.

If you think about it. That's who Beth and Rio are. It's messed up, especially when you think about it that even though he shot Beth's husband, she still ends up hooking up with him. But let's talk about that later.

I think 2x13 was trying to mirror the scene in 1x10 and 2x01. And that's where the writers failed. Meanwhile the writers of Killing Eve achieved it effortlessly.

The whole setup in Killing Eve season 2 was leading toward the last scene in 2x08. Something that was completely missing in Good Girls season 2. You can't make a U-Turn without explaining why or giving hints throughout the season. It's not how good writing works.

In season 2 of Killing Eve, Villainelle is so obsessed with Eve she basically stalks her, destroys Eve's already fragile marriage and shows Eve's husband who Eve is dealing with. Villainelle is sliding a lipstick in Eve's bag and when she is using it she cuts her lips because Villainelle put a razorblade in it. She also comes to Eve's home while she isn't there, brushing her teeth with Eve's toothbrush and then comes back and forces Eve to swallow „poison“.

In one word: Villainelle is fucked up. But in her world, she loves Eve. She believes that Eve is hers and that they're two sides of the same coin. And she isn't completely wrong. Because she gets Eve to kill Villainelle's attacker which to her is like a confirmation that they're now in this together and meant to be.

It all accumulates in the last scene when Eve discovers Villainelle could've defended herself and she denies Villainelle any companionship. Villainelle is genuinely surprised, hurt and disappointed. And she does the only thing she knows she is good at: she shoots Eve. And it's shocking, yes, but it's organic. Villainelle told Eve from early on: „I like you but I don't like you that much. […] Don’t forget: The only thing that makes you interesting is me.“.

So while the season 2 finale of Killing Eve was certainly emotional and shocking (that image of Eve lying in the ruins, both literally and as a metaphor for her life...), it never felt out of character or not something this show wasn't leading to.

Unlike the season 2 finale of Good Girls. NOTHING what happened in the season 2 finale leads to Beth shooting Rio.

Villainelle and Rio are completely different people. Villainelle is a serial killer and a psychopath. Rio isn't that at all. Does this mean he is not problematic? No, he is. He threatened Beth and the girls, especially in season 1, and he held a gun to Beth's throat. But it all made sense. He didn't know who these bitches are. Only that they didn't gave him his money. So we could all understand and follow his actions.

After 1x10 and 2x01 scene, it was also understandable that Beth would worry for her life. Rio just had shot her husband. It doesn't matter it was in character for him as a crime boss. I would be scared out of my life, so I did understand Beth's fear and her question „are you going to kill me?“. It must've baffled her when he replied „I'm gonna teach you.“.

After that Beth is causing problems not only for herself but also for the girls and most certainly for Rio. Which is why it disappoints me that Beth can admit her mistakes to Ruby but in the end puts the blame on Rio? I understand she is emotional and feeling cornered. But she asked to come back by leaving those pearls in season 1. Girl, you need to own your decisions and mistakes!

Anyway, despite all the problems there is also this undeniable attraction between her and Rio which accumulates in them hooking up in the bathroom with Dean only a few metres away from them. And from there the writers tried to emphasize even more that Beth's and Rio's relationship is the exact opposite of what Beth and Dean were. Dysfunctional but weirdly functional as well.

From season 1 onward, Rio listened to her, he called her out on her bullshit but he never disregarded her ideas before listening to them. He respected her albeit showing up at her house at random times (and sending her body parts...). But he also never stopped calling her out when got way over her head. He told her she is a drug dealer. Beth needed to hear that because she only experiences the tiny part of his world where she can get high on the power she is having without really experiencing repercussions.

After they hooked up Rio tried to manipulate her and that was – for me – a moment of „oh, did he use her all along?“. Yes, I had these thoughts multiple times, but mostly in season 1.

But then they both act like a jealous couple and my worries were all gone. And then 2x09 happens and the way the scene is filmed in the bedroom and even prior it's genuine and raw. They close the door and leave their crime personalities outside the bedroom and they kiss and it's all perfect. And then Rio brings back the Dubby and it all paints a completely different picture we're supposed to get of these two. It's all so completely different from how season 2 of Killing Eve set it all up.

Beth and Rio albeit having problems would always come back together. Yes, even with Beth still lacking in the crime life department and not being able to admit her mistakes, overall they would always comeback together in this problematic relationship and make things work.

When the walls of rotten eggs Beth has collected, start to crumble around her and Rio probably already knows about it, I completely understand his frustration and anger and that he is done and over with her. But at the same time he knows he isn't because he can't look Beth in the eyes when he is telling her „pretty much“. He believes they're two sides of the same coin. They're both lonely but they could be lonely together at the top. But Beth is left behind with the feeling „I'm alone in this“ and this man who made her feel things again only sees her as work – which she IS like I said before. She doesn't reflect on her wrongdoings which is extremely frustrating. A character flaw can only be relatable to a certain point and then it just gets ridiculous. She is a 40ish year old woman, for god's sake.

I expected the writers trying to mirror the scene from 1x10 and 2x01 but every fan theory was better and made more sense character-wise than what we actually got in the end.

I was so confused as to WHY Rio would feel the need to kidnap Beth. Also, how did he do it? Someone on Tumblr mentioned it: how could he be so sure Beth would forget her phone in the car? Beth was looking for her phone... was she certain she had in the backpockets of her jeans? Did Rio take it from her and put it in the car? Or did she really leave it there?

It doesn't add up. And it doesn't make sense Rio would be so drastic to kidnap Beth when he could simply call her. Tell her to come to his apartment. That he will help her. Why make Rio act so OOC?

I also believe that Rio genuinely thought of Turner as a „gift“ to Beth. This is your rotten egg, you have many but this is the one who will constantly cause problems, so get rid off it and we're even.

Was he planning to record it? Did he record it? Did/does he plan to use it as leverage against Beth? Just like he used „Boomer's“ body?

Basically killing two birds with one stone. Pulling Beth in deeper, making her go through with the last step she tried to avoid and having something in his hand to make sure Beth won't set him up again. Which in the end COULD'VE been a setup for any scenario in the future seasons where Beth decides that Rio is her rotten egg.

But to do so now... even with her thinking she is nothing to him, makes no sense.

Especially since season 2 set up Turner as the main antagonist for Beth who is constantly after her and closing in on her. I was sure she would kill him. But then to turn it against Rio and telling him HE is her problem? I don't have to repeat myself but: IT MAKES NO SENSE.

I'm not going to defend Beth shooting him. Yes, she was emotional. And I would've bought it as a reaction under immense stress if she would've shot him once. But 3 times?! That's a bit much. Yes, he called her „bitch“ - SHIT! He was genuinely shocked and surprised by what she did – and lunged himself at her but probably to stop her or/and to take the gun from her. It was terrible to watch.

Overall with Dean and Boomer getting redemption so easily, it was terrible to see NBC treat a male poc like this. It was an obscene moment to see Rio bleed like this, choking up blood and making the viewer believe that he will just die right there, in this very moment. And to make Turner get up so slow and pull out the phone taunting Rio about helping him or not. It was pretty clear the only evil person in this room is Turner, not Rio, and I can't wait for Rio to let Turner know „yes, I owe you... I owe you a slow death.“.

When Rio laughed I think many thought the writers wanted to portray him as crazy. BUT I don't think they did. When I had an accident and the shock afterwards subsided I made a lot of jokes lying there in the ER with my leg broken. The doctors had to give me a sedative to calm me down. So I think with Rio there is a mix of „this bitch really shot me“ and the shock setting in and subsiding and laughing is working as a transient response.

As for Beth, it was so weird to me that she would run for Turner right away. Okay, the writers apparently decided that Rio is the problem and suddenly Turner is the person she should trust? Because she thinks after Boomer turned himself in she is off the hook? And why give Turner the gun? It's just moments like these that make it clear she is anything but ready to be the „King“. Yes, she is in a exceptional situation and who knows how we would react? But still... trusting Turner is a bit too much and we were proven to be correct when he basically told Rio that this is definitely not over and Beth they will see how it goes.

As for Beth shooting Rio: I will say I thought she looked genuinely upset and shaken by her own actions. Again, not defending what the writers did with Rio and Beth in this scene, only observing. Because from all the comments it sounded like she was gleeful and happy she did what she did. And I will say: that's not the case.

But I also think the writers didn't give us enough moments of Beth really thinking about and regretting what she did and of course when she tells Annie and Ruby that „he is gone“ (do they know she shot Rio?) it's not really showing Beth as empathetic. How about not giving us Beth and Dean eating ice cream but give us Beth struggeling with what she has done? I hope we will get that in season 3.

Although I thought it was telling that while she was laughing and disappointed when Dean didn't die after Rio shot him, in 2x13 she walked home in daze right into Dean's arms and cried. Let's put aside she is in Dean's arms. She cried. She didn't cry when Dean got shot but she cried after shooting Rio, believing he is dead.

Again, I'm not sugarcoating what she did. I'm just pointing out the details I noticed and the little differences between 2x01 and 2x13.

Also, I thought the scene in the park was not well-written. The image was good but I think it would've worked better without the other moms and again it should've been longer to show that Beth is realizing that she shot a father. A father of a young boy who became friends with her daughter. A father she defended when Dean implied Rio would kidnap their daughter. It could've been powerful scene but it got watered down.

In the end, the shooting scene didn't work for me as a mirror scene like it did in Killing Eve because the setup throughout the season was non-existent.

Are we supposed to think Rio played Beth the whole time? Are all the moments which felt like something special are nothing? If so they did a pretty bad job at it (how lame was Beth's „WHO is he?“ when he left all his stuff in the storage room?) And frankly, I don't believe it. In a sad way I really think that Beth and Rio do have genuine feelings for eachother but they're also stuck in this situation which will always lead to misunderstandings (because they never really TALK!) and constant danger of betrayal.

And now with Beth taking the last step but shooting Rio it's gonna be interesting how this will play out in season 3. In a weird way, Rio should almost be proud of Beth because she „killed“ the King. He didn't think she would be able to do it and certainly thought she would take Turner down but in the end she made a completely different decision. And if anything that's at least a bit in character for Beth, that she does things Rio can't predict. Just like he didn't predict she would leave her pearls in that warehouse.

Personally, I wanted Beth and Rio to end on a tense note for season 3 but I didn't want it to go full-on trust issues, revenge and rivalry. Simply because this is not how season 2 was written like up until 2x13. And to make a u-turn like this just for the shock moment is just lame. I get it, this episode was basically written in case Good Girls wouldn't get a renewal but still it's the laziest writing I've experienced in a long time.

I think if the shooting scene would've played out differently. With Beth shooting Turner. Like something that makes sense, it could've turned out to be a very satisfying season finale. And it would've been interesting to see how Rio is using the footage to start their cat and mouse game in season 3 yet again (I think he wanted her back after their fallout in 2x12 hence why Turner as the gift for Beth). I don't think with how season 2 played out, it makes sense for Beth to hurt Rio. So I can't find anything satisfying or good about this finale. Unlike Killing Eve which left me behind very satisfied despite Villainelle shooting Eve.

Two similar scenes and season finales but executed so differently, that in one tv show it's utterly shocking yet perfect meanwhile in the other tv show it's sloppily written overall and anything but perfect.

And here I am so very curious how season 3 will play out for Beth and Rio. Apparently I like torturing myself.

P.S.: If you plan on writing me any anon hate, save your words! I’m ready and happy to discuss the season finale with anyone who is willing to discuss it like adults. Ain’t nobody got time for anon hate.

[asillydreamer-on-a-crazyworld]

OK, now that I’m normal again and my feelings are not all over the place I’m ready to talk rationally about the episode.

I’m gonna start saying that I loved it.

Annie:

I always thought that Annie ended up like the most dysfunctional adult bc Beth was there to clean up her messes.  Beth, as the older sister, took Annie under her protection and I think she was way more like a mom to her rather than a sister. We all can see how every time Annie has a problem she can’t deal with, she goes to Beth. She relies on her.Beth became Annie’s safe place whenever she lost control over things in her life. I understand Beth in these situations but I also think she could have handled her sister better, let her deal with her problems rather than running to her when she called it. I always wondered if this co-dependency she has on her big sis is also one of the reasons Dean doesn’t like Annie much. I can clearly see him arguing with Beth about her always going to her sis while she has a family to take care of.

I loved that Ruby told her what Beth really was for her. How she sacrificed a lot just to be there for her little sis. I think Annie knows it too, but sometimes she is so caught up in her own problems that she takes for granted what Beth does for her. And I’m not saying that to make Annie the bad guy here. She is just human and like I said, she was not the only one responsible for the person she became.

What I loved is that later, she feels it, deep down, Ruby’s words. They were inside her head the whole time she went back home, I bet and that is why we also see her so fragile while talking to Sadie. She is finally facing her own demons bit by bit, she is afraid that she is not being a good mom, a good influence on Sadie... She is afraid because she knows her own faults as an adult and she probably feels ashamed that she can’t even afford the medicine her son needs. I understand and respect her for not wanting to ask for anybody’s money bc she wants to succeed in being a good parent to her kid once in her life.

Also. Finally, the moment when she opens her eyes about what Noah did. People call Annie stupid and naive. I think she is mostly naive. She trusts people too easy sometimes. But she is smart ( I think we can agree that she slips a lot but again, she is just human) and she quickly connected the dots in her head when Ruby asked who could have known about Boland Motors. I don’t know what she is gonna do, but I think she is gonna confront him rather than play some kind of cat/mouse game with Noah.

One thing about Noah tho:

I don’t think he is working for Rio. I’ve seen some theories about it but his reactions yesterday tells me that he was feeling guilty and worried. He likes Annie, and frankly, with her goofy, carefree nature it’s so easy to like her. If he was working secretly for Rio or was his inside man in the FBI, I don’t think there was a reason for him to feel any of those feelings. He would know they wouldn’t end up finding anything and that she and her sis would be safe. And about using her in any way or lying to her about it?  I think if he is catching feelings for her as I think he is, he wouldn’t need to be so worried bc, after all, they are all working for the same guy, right? Noah would feel a bit like a d-bag but I’m pretty sure he’d feel like they could talk it out in a way.

From the synopsis for episode 12, I do think that in the end they both are gonna talk about what Noah did.

Ruby:

OMG RUBY!!! She was perfect, as always. From supporting Stan, to not let her man wallow in self-pity  and also standing up for Beth, this woman again shows us how loyal she is and how far she is willing to go to help those she loves, while also thinking about how this will affect her family in the long run, but she knows there is no way out right now. She needs to keep going bc there is no other option. Stan has no job, they have bills to pay, kids to feed and with her job, Ruby can’t deal with everything financially on her own.

I just love how strong she is despite everything. I really can’t say more about Ruby in this episode bc I see Ruby as the moral compass in the show. And I can’t wait to see how She is gonna deal with the obstacles on her way bc we know they are huge and they will make her go against some of her own values here to help her hubby and her family. I’m dying to see how she handles it.

We know she is afraid and that is why she did what she did on that bus. Throwing the drugs away showed me how desperate she suddenly became and I think that it was because she thought about how Sara treated Stan after he was arrested. She panicked bc she didn’t wanna her daughter to go through that again, watching another parent being arrested in front of her friends. Imagine the humiliation for Sara? Ruby loves her kid and she knows she suffered after seeing what happened to her father. She didn’t wanna ruin her relationship with Sara too. I understand, u, boo. I got u!

I will be here rooting and suffering with her and Stan. 

Beth:

ohh Beth... How beautifully complex u are.U guys know I’m biased when it comes to this woman but she had one of my favorite scenes in the episode.That scene of her in the store... GOD! What a scene. The suspense, the thrill she got for doing something wrong and the possibility of getting caught, the song while everything was happening.. slowing down and down... PERFECT. She was trying so hard being good but this dark thing inside her was awakened and demanded to be fed.

She had a taste of it, of freedom from the dormant life she lead. This is a woman who lived, breathed, for everyone else but not for herself. Beth Boland never got a chance to know who she really is, what she likes to do, what she could be. She was molded into that momma persona and I think it’s natural that she struggles between being just that and the scary possibility of finding out what, who else she can be. 

If u had to start all over again, find out who else u wanted to be, wouldn’t u be afraid too? Yeah, for some ppl it can be exciting as well, but most people will feel fear also.

I think that by the last scene of her, she is feeling just like that: afraid but excited as hell.

When she laughed and said it was fun almost being caught by the feds? CHILLS literally chills !! Beth is flirting with this wild side of her that get’s excited with power and challenges.

This doesn’t make her a villain, in my opinion, just someone more complex and that is embracing this side we all have that makes us wonder: “what would be like to not care at all? For rules, for being nice and polite all the time, sometimes to ppl we hate or don’t care at all? What if I just cheat and lie to get what I want as other people do? They don’t seem to care and they are in a better place in life than me.”

I love when writers let us see how a character struggles between the lines of what we accept as morally right and what we think it’s a no-go for “good people” like us, when we know nobody is perfect or a saint.

Watching her sitting inside that car in the dark and then leaving... Her chair empty...

We saw earlier in the episode when Dean (stupid Dean) asks her if she misses it and she says “would it matter?”.  He says something else about her cookies and she just smiles but then we see the smile leaving her face and I was like:

OMG GIRL. I know.. I know it hurts and it sucks.

Her breaking down? One long time thing coming. She needed that. It also shows us that she might have another breakdown soon but this time with Dean. Beth is so fed up with just being the good momma, the good person... Always doing the right thing. No more. And if Dean keeps pushing her?

 Ohh I don’t wanna be him.

Beth x Rio.

ok Now, on these two. I let my shipper feels get the best of me. 

SUE ME.

I have this hopeless romantic side of me that can’t help but go all in in the feels.LOL

That being said:

DO I think that what Rio said in that promo was like a marriage proposal? OF COURSE NOT. And I am sure a lot of ppl know that. It’s called shipper behavior. We all allow ourselves to be a bit silly about it.

AGAIN. SUE ME. xD

We don’t know how that scene is gonna happen and what will be really said, in addition to what we heard them say but like u, dear follower or person who sees my posts in the tag know, I do believe Rio have personal reasons and way more practical ones to want Beth working for him again.

Some say it is a punishment for the headache she probably caused him when she said she was out. However, I’d argue that it is not that good of punishment because she likes it. She likes to work with him. She likes doing it. But yeah, for a lifetime? Not what I think she has in mind or will want it in the long run in that sense, I agree that it is one but not an effective one or the best way to punish her, RIGHT NOW.

And there is a big IF in what I said bc what if she ends up wanting to do that in the long run? We don’t know what direction Beth’s character will follow in the future.

Now back to the point, yeah it looks like a punishment and I’m sure she will freak out about Boomer’s body and we still don’t know what else Rio is gonna do and their relationship right now?

A mess. An UNHEALTHY, hot mess. Because again he has all the power.

Again Rio is gonna feed on her indecision and fears and he will get what he wants from her in the end bc this man is not playing around.

That is why I don’t think he has softened. Rio is like a snake. He will surprise u and attack when u less expect him to.

He surprised her in the park. He followed her or we can say he knows her well enough now to know exactly where she is. And again Rio showed her he is one step ahead of her ( and of everyone else it seems lol).

I see a man who is a planner, a charmer, a cold killer when he needs to be, a father, a rational, logical, smart man, controlling and who loves power and who also can be an attentive, soft lover if he also wants. He is a man who knows how to read people. But the fact that he reads Beth so well? I don’t think that is because she is weak, but rather that she is too much like him in some aspects.

He respects her. No one can say the contrary.

But he won’t let her ruin things for him, so here he is making sure she doesn’t, she goes to that park and tells her the FBI is going to BM bc if she gets caught? The feds will have info on the little operation they had there!

But they were also partners so, if he lets her go down for this, he only has things to lose. Her included. Because, yeah I believe he sees her as a valuable asset. 

Beth, with her efficiency, intelligence, and courage, secured herself a place in his organization, and people like her, even if a bit dangerous ( and are not all of them like that? the people he deals with on a daily basis?)? They are the kind of people born for what he does and he sure as hell won’t let her go.

And I believe he keeps pulling at the strings he has on her tighter bc he knows she is not sure of what she wants herself, but he won’t let her slip away from his fingers.

That is why I also think he is in way too deep with her. Why he let her under his skin and he is not thinking rationally, not 100%. She probably won’t use the dealership again ( for reasons - the FBI still there and Dean). I don’t know how she is gonna do it but she will go back to launder money for him and I believe he will help her with that.

DOES HE NEED TO?

NO.

She is taking too much of his time already. This woman is soo high maintenance. Too much of a headache.

However, I believe he likes it. He has fun with it. He lets her get away with too much. Oh, you all know I said that A LOT of times before.

I do believe he wants her, like hard still.

He is a man after all, who appreciates good, pretty, not too easy to get kind of things.

Beth Boland is like that. She is interesting.

Do I believe they will drive into the sunset together or that he will turn into a puppy for her?

 LMAO nope.

I’m happy with how the writers are handling things for now.

The only thing I hated was how they didn’t give us the trio comedy that Rio x Ruby x Annie is. But I guess they preferred to spend more time on that scene of the FBI breaking into Boland Motors 

But, yeah, I have faith in the writers and the cast bc they gave us a lot already and if they could make an episode look great even when heavy spoilers were published, oh just imagine what else they can give us.

I think we’ve been well fed compared to other shows ( I said that already but whatever. I still believe we are!)

Balance is not easy to manage and hell, I’m happy I’m not a writer bc damn,  it is not easy to keep everyone in a fandom happy.

( there is no way u can feed everyone, not all the time, right?)

sorry that this became such a monster of a post xD

[daddycardan]

I started reading tcp because I was curious about the hype surrounding the series but I have...mixed feelings about it. but I really enjoyed twk and I thought it was much better than the first book. can you do a review on both books and include things that you liked and things that you didn't?

Okay, so I’m obviously pretty happy with the series since I’ve been fangirling over it for quite a long time, BUT I don’t claim that it is perfect. It has its flaws. Recently I convinced my friend to read it, and now that she finally got into the first book, she pointed out a few pros and cons as well, so I think I can see it a little more clearly than I used to.

So first on the Cruel Prince. I love this book. L O V E it. It is one of the best books I’ve ever read, okay? But it was not an instant love, not like I opened it and immediately was obsessed. When I started reading it, it took me like a month to slowly work through the first 5 or so chapters. Not that it was boring but it… but it didn’t quite drag me in either. Ok, I’m gonna say it, the beginning is not a literary masterpiece. I love the world, I love the mood, I love cruel faeries, but it kinda just drops you into the middle of it, without explaining much, and suddenly an inky eyed, clawed imp is braiding Jude’s hair, and they are just about to head to the revel which takes place inside of a hill, full of weird, colourful, long-eared creatures that I’ve never even heard of. What the is an imp, to begin with? Is this common knowledge and I’m just dumb, or what? I cannot imagine this creature, can u at least describe it? And like what the hell, are they inside a hill? Hills are filled with fucking earth, right? What is happening??? So, yeah at first I was a lil confused about it, and I missed the descriptions of these different kinds of imps, goblins, brownies, nixies and pixies and motherfuxies,,,

also Jude’s narrator voice is a little unsteady and confusing at first. So there is a chapter at the beginning, where Jude tells about her childhood memories and starts to talk directly to us, readers, and it seems like she knows that we are listening to her thoughts. But other times, we hear her thoughts as she is talking to herself, and she is not aware of us witnessing it. So this was a little weird for me, but I got over it quickly, and the story just sucked me in as the plot moved forward. The things that I really loved is mostly the the characters. They are so unique and interesting, and always developing unlike in most books where u get the basic teenage Mary Sue who falls for the hot blonde six-pack guy for the first sight and ahhhh I’m so fucking sick of that! I loved that Jude is like a real person, Holly doesn’t try to make her perfectly beautiful or clever and all that crap. Jude makes mistakes and does stupid things and screws everything up, and I love it because it’s actually relatable but also really inspiring, seeing how she works hard and gets to the top like the badass queen she is. And she doesn’t manage that by falling in love with the guy, or being the chosen one, or possessing superpowers, no fuck it, Jude earns her place by sweat and blood and I’m fuckin here for it. Ok this “review” went into a rant real quick sorry lol

But to mention a few more things I didn’t like: it’s kinda insignificant, but I’ve actually read TCP for the first time in Hungarian and the translation was legit embarrassing. Just shitty on a whole new level. Like, no joke, even I could do better than that. (Any other people who’ve read it in other languages? Are they any good??) Also, this is a personal preference, but the bloodshed wasn’t gruesome enough for my taste. (I was kinda wishing for Game of Thrones style descriptions.) Like the slaughter of the royal family or Jude’s parents, they describe the thing like “his blood was dripping like rubies”, but c’mon this is kids mode. They should say something like “he pressed his hands against his slashed stomach, trying to stop his insides from spilling out. He was fighting for his last breath while choking on his own blood” ANYWAY. 

Alsoo another con, and this is a huge one. Okay, so u guys remember that one chapter towards like, the middle? When Jude sneaks into Hollow Hall and kidnaps the mortal servant Sophie for no apparent reason other than empathy??and tries to get her out of Faerie but she falls into the water and “dies”? So, that chapter made literally no sense. Sorry, Holly, but dis is tru. I felt like Jude was so OOC in that scene, I don’t think she would take such risk only out of empathy. I genuinely thought that Holly was foreshadowing or like planting a plotline with this, but we’ve never heard about Sophie again. Oh, only once, in the next revel when she was standing there with the Undersea court, turned into a weird sea monster. But like, in TWK, she is never mentioned again. And will she play a role in QON? I don’t know. Maybe. But for now, it just looks like Holly dropped or forgot about this plotline.

So now, moving on to the Wicked King, I cannot say too much about it, because this book was nearly perfect. Sorry, I’m just really biased with this little paper baby. I definitely think that TWK was better than TCP, but like, don’t get me wrong, they both are excellent. So in TWK I really loved how fast paced it was, full of emotional tension and political intrigue and OF COURSE plot twists. The faerie world widened even further with the involvement of the Undersea and we could see more of the High Court as well. Character development was on  f l e e k  especially with my boi Cardan, whom I’m really proud of (also kinda hating him). The only con that I can think of from the top of my head it that mayyybe it was a lil too fast-paced. Maaayyybe it was a little too overwhelming at times. I would have appreciated if Holly put some breathers in, u know, some chilled moments, with characters just bonding, banter, possibly some more Jurdan moments, and to just calm my nerves down a little, because this was a wild ride.