#even an ego violently suppressed

[curameleven]

[multidimensionalguidance]

The Martian Women: A Warrior's Heart

Now more than ever we see questioned the humanity and dignity of women who do not fit the stereotype of what they are supposed to be, look, sound, or act like. Such cases like Imane Khelif are heartbreaking to witness, specially considering the way these false allegations overshadow the efforts and hard work behind her skills, even more so now as an Olympian.

Imane has her Moon and Mars in Sidereal Scorpio, and the themes of others trying to take control of the narrative of her life and existence is ridiculous and overwhelming. On top of it, her Mercury and Jupiter are both in Aries. She is a huge embodiment of how the Martian experience tends to play out.

They are the individuals who deal with the consequences of being "too much" simply by not being afraid of voicing their opinions, of their appearance, or any other aspect regardless of how conflictive it might be. They have and endless source of power to pursuit their passions, and they often achieve as long as they their ego on check.

Childhood years consisted of a push and pull between not being enough of any of the polarities. Often, attracting unwanted attention and different degrees of aggressive/hostile behaviors (spoken, actions, etc). They learn to project outwardly the results of withstanding all of those experiences, and paradoxically are blamed for having a natural hostile response to a hostile environment or actions.

After being forced to repress their hurt, anger, and valid emotions they learn to channel it towards a goal because their nature (Aries and Scorpio) is to plan, analyze, execute, and repeat all over again. They are the Valkyries, Amazonians, etc who learn collectively how to fend for themselves in all aspects outside of patriarchal laws or standards.

From a historic and folklore perspective, Valkyries were associated and often accompanied by ravens or horses which matches perfectly the nature of Ashwini (horses) and Bharani (crows are similar to ravens) which are both in Aries. These mythical warriors guided souls to their depiction of heaven, and Krittika is ruled by the Sun + has a priestly caste. On different levels of humanity we've always had women who take their necessary place with violent, aggressive, and chaotic driven actions as much as men, yet its forced to suppression the most.

In terms of contemporary entertainment, many other concepts of female warrior or heroic/strong/independent female characters from all eras have Martian placements. This is not to say that Mars is the only representation for these arechetypes, but in terms of characters who have a really grim and/or dark past, it fits very well. Other planets (Sun, Moon, Venus, Jupiter) also have their own depiction of cunning female led roles but their background, characteristic, etc are all different. I will expand with other planets on a different post.

Brigitte Nielsen who was the main character in Red Sonja has her Moon in Aries (Ashwini).

Uma Thurman has her Sun in Aries (Bharani).

Summer Glau from the Firefly series and its continuation movie Serenity has her Moon in Aries (Ashwini).

Saoirse Ronan has her Moon and Venus in Aries (Bharani).

Gal Gadot as Wonder Women has her Sun in Aries (Bharani)

Lucy Liu (Sun in Scorpio (Anuradha/Jyestha) and Moon in Aries (Bharani), Cameron Diaz (Moon in Aries, within Krittika) from Charlie's Angels.

Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow has her Sun in Scorpio (Anuradha)

Peta Wilson in La Femme Nikita with Sun in Scorpio (Vishakha)

They function perfectly well alone and also within a group as as long as there is mutual respect. Society doesn't seem to know yet how to properly behave and treat individuals like them. Martian handle themselves in such a raw and powerful form that those who have weak morals, will power, inner strength, courage, or self expression regardless of gender might feel as if they are being personally attacked.

Now, it is good to keep in mind the distinction between deliberate attack or self defense. Due to previous trauma related with heavy power struggles they can easily feel wounded, and will could show an exaggerated or uncontrolled form of aggression.

It could also simply be intentional because both signs (Aries & Scorpio) tend to become more resentful or comfortable using violence if they understand is fair or justified. They LOVE "female rage". Every film, piece of literature, song, or form of art related to anger, disconformity, sadness, rage, wickedness, and other chaotic expressions connect with their suppressed darkness.

It allows them to fantasize of a world where women are able to demonstrate their anger freely without judgement, specially when justified and valid. They understand other women beyond the nature of their caged self under patriarchal standards, but the downside is that others do not connect easily with them.

This is why despite being the real underdogs of many empowering movements they are often lonely, alienated, punished, and treated poorly. It’s the most noticeable with Scorpio rashi, specifically Jyestha where they naturally attract envy, jealousy, and ill wishes the most. They are the ruthless Scorpios who don't really care about turning off their moral compass if it means achieving their goals. They are often only loyal to their vision and those who fit in it.

It is essential for Martian women to maintain a healthy management of their anger and learn how to release it in meaningful ways. Any type of exercise (gym, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc) or sports can become one of the most common channels to fuel their bodies and release heavy emotional overloads. Staying in touch with their root and sacral points by doing activities that promote you to feel safe, nurtured, grounded, creative, sensual, etc will also be optimal.

Protect your energy in all forms, and stay away from individuals who constantly trigger your fight or flight. The ones who make you feel constantly drained and tired. It can be easy for others to syphon your energy because you always have an abundant amount, so be mindful of the people you entertain, engage, and interact with frequently.

Ensure to maintain a good balance between mind and heart as well. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with others. Prioritize feeling safe and comfortable around others. Learning to control your impulses if you're an Aries, or letting go of control if you're a Scorpio. Protect yourself, but don't shut down completely.

[staticnonapus]

Mmmmm I thought of something juicy as Knockout would say

Imagine this:

SG!OP goes into heat in the middle of a battle

Instead of retreating like someone with their sanity intact would do he lunges at poor SG!Megatron and they tumbe away from th battle which soon after finishes with both sides retreating while waiting for their respective leaders to come back.

On the other side Optimus is furiously riding Megatron's spike and Megs just let's him, too entranced to realise what he was actually doing.

And here's the kicker:

After a few rounds Megatron’s rut coding activities and Optimus, who had planned to ride and run after a few megacycles, finds himself trapped beneath a very enthusiastic Megatron who was currently making sure that neither of them will be able to walk after that.

He has a hard time fighting back - not that he wants to anyways - because Megatron has his wrists pinned down, making sure that he won't get more scratched up than he already has.

Optimus is having the time of his life but would never admit it even under the threat of torture.

They may or may not have accidentally created the first sparkling in 4 million years (up to you to decide)

:]

hghnnnn hot…

Good for megs for having that much stamina, op would ride his spike like he’s crushing that pelvis…moaning and laughing in the most unashamed manner that ratchet rolled his optics on the other side of the battlefield. Megs was rather quiet but he was holding on for dear life XD waiting for the chance to strike

Optimus was stunned for a few nanoclicks when his helm smashed onto the ground. Megs was usually less violent than this so he really got on his nerves this time. Megs was panting heavily while wrecking op’s forge, the rut coding suppressed part of his processor and he couldn’t form a thought other than filling this hot steamy valve. He wanted to spark this smug slagger, crush his ego, and make him cry for mercy.

Optimus probably tried to punch him but only managed to flip himself over instead. That’s good enough for op, since he got to watch megs’s helplessly lustful face as the waves of overloads fried his processor. He couldn’t remember what he screamed or when did it end. He’s gonna get random cramps for a few days afterwards, but it’s worth the price.

I feel like sg Optimus would be a borderline okay mama. He would say ‘I chopped the kids up and ate them for breakfast.’ while the sparklings (outside the camera frame) were sucking on his refineries. He would tell megs that his refineries were clogged and bursting and it hurt so so much (with a faked 🥺 face) just so megs can reluctantly suck them out. Megatron found it weird and humiliating but op found it hilarious.

[animeyanderelover]

For shit and giggles what if older sister reader drink the poisonous tea meant for yui by reiji what he doesn't know is the side effects is making the person that drink it in the younger age so now reader is the same age as yui and don't have any memory of the brother she still cares about yui a lot calling her a precious friend tearing her like a sibling she never had and get angry at the sakamaki brothers when they try to manipulate her

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, clinginess, delusional behavior, paranoia, manipulation, isolation

A sip of poisonous tea

Shu Sakamaki

🎵​The only reason why Reiji hasn't been violently assaulted by all the younger siblings after that incident is because Shu is one of the few who have held them back. He is not doing it out of brotherly love though as he himself understands the urge some of the other Sakamaki brothers feel. However, he also understands that Reiji has the best chances of finding a remedy to return you to your original form. He won't lie though, it is hard at times to control the violent urge to hurt his younger brother for what he has done. You were the only person Shu has ever felt truly peaceful with as you were the only one who he willingly told everything that was a burden on his soul. Now that you have lost all your memories though, Shu experiences true loneliness but he can't even show that as the gates to his heart completely close. When he realises that you are not able to recall anything about him, he stops trying to maybe trigger a memory of yours. Shu decides to avoid you for a while as the hollow pain in his chest only gets stronger when he watches you and that human girl together, although he still ends up torturing himself by secretly watching you from the distance.

Reiji Sakamaki

☕​Reiji is the one who takes the hardest emotional blow because he is the one who prepared that poisonous tea to get rid of that girl that was stealing your attention. He could have never predicted that you would actually try that tea for her yet you did and now all of your memories are gone. You're gone. He wants to blame that girl and he would have almost murdered her if it wouldn't have been for Kanato having his meltdown and trying to hurt Reiji. Yet a part of him is unable to protect his own ego and pride as he realises that he is also partially responsible for it even if he tries to make Yui the sole scapegoat of this situation. To think that he would be the one to do such a thing to his own beloved sister is a burden unspeakably heavy and there is a tight knot of fear and panic in his chest that makes him feel like he is slowly dying. Unable to live with the thought that he ruined you who he has always idolised and who has always been perfect in his eyes, he completely locks himself away in his chambers and sometimes doesn't leave his room for day. His sanity is on the brink of shattering but he has to find an antidote. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to look at himself in the mirror anymore.

Ayato Sakamaki

🥇​If it wouldn't have been for Laito stopping him from breaking Reiji's neck, he would have committed murder right then and there. How dare the bastard to poison you and take you away from him?! The only reason why he stops wanting to kill Reiji for now is that he understands that the older brother is the only one who can also create an antidote. That doesn't stop him from knocking violently on the door leading to Reiji's chambers once or twice a day and asking him pissed if he has done finally something useful, barely able to suppress the urge to just kick the door open violently. Ayato will be quite persistent with you though because he just can't accept that you have lost all of your memories. How can you forget him? You have always praised him and cheered him up and now you dare to forget him and replace him with that stupid human girl? He attempts to monopolise all of your time to separate you from Yui and try to awaken your memories by retelling you all of his achievements and showing you what he can do. His mind is just blown that you seem to have forgotten him, your favorite brother from the entire bunch... In his mind at least.

Kanato Sakamaki

🧸​Together with Reiji he has the worst reaction to you losing all of your memories and turning to the same age as Yui. He has to be physically restrained and dragged away from Reiji as he screeches and screams promises of death to him. His mental condition has always been quite fragile but that was what you were for. You were always there to comfort him and hold tea parties with him and Kanato has always been so incredibly attached to you. Now you have forgotten him though and instead treat Yui like she is your sibling and his mentality is thoroughly shot after that incident. He in fact acts so extreme that his other brothers have to keep him away from you as he even tries to break into your bedroom. He's sure that you will remember him if he brings you to his room where the both of you have always held the tea parties and ties you to a chair to keep you from running away. Kanato has just completely lost it since you were the sole anchor who could control him enough for him to not be too crazed. But now that you have forgotten, there is no one who can protect others from Kanato as well as protect him from himself.

Laito Sakamaki

​🎹​Laito has some rather gruesome fantasies about what he would like to do with Reiji but he keeps it all within the realm of imagination for now. He is after all quick to recognise that Reiji has the highest chances of undoing all the effects the poison had on you. He hopes that the bastard suffers as much as possible for messing up so majorly in the first place though. His inner demons are hidden pretty well though when he approaches you though as he tries to find a way to make the best of the situation. You have forgotten everything which means that as long as you are so clueless, he may as well try to gain your favor. Laito is quite good in hiding his true intentions as he tries to get you away from that little bitch you spend so much time with. To his bittersweet delight you have kept your sharp intelligence even at such a young age though so his attempts to play the good guy fail as you get even more protective of Yui as if sensing that Laito might otherwise plan something. Just because he has failed doesn't mean that he will leave you alone though. He will interfere whenever he can and squeeze himself in every moment you want to have with Yui alone. Please, don't forget him...

Subaru Sakamaki

​⬜​Subaru is in a way in a similar situation as Shu. You were the only one he felt safe wnough around to express all of his emotions, even his vulnerability. Now that you have forgotten him though, he has no one anymore who he can tell about all of the crying sadness inside of him. So he ends up trying to push it all down but this leads to an outburst of violence and hot tears sooner or later when he is alone. He despises Reiji for having done something like this to you. He has never really liked him before to begin with but now he just really wants to rip his limbs apart from his body. He can barely hold back though with the promises of the other brothers that Reiji will find a cure to your current condition. He hates that he doesn't know how to act anymore around you because not only have you lost all your memories but you are physically younger now than even him. It just seems all so strange in his mind but the greatest suffering he receives is your new attachment to the human girl. He is always boiling when he watches how you play with her as he recalls that you used to do the same with him and eventually has to tear his gaze away from you, on the verge of another outburst.

[arrenlebanen777]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 444

☾People who have the same Sun sign of your Sun degree, inflate your ego/or destroy it, they help you a lot in your path, they help you to be more confident and self-assured, you may even fall in love with them due to this. ☾People who have the Sun sign/Personal Planets sign of your Lilith Degree, could help you heal your inner child wounds, or make you really uncomfortable because they trigger the Raw/Violent/Suppressed/vulnerable energy in you. ☾You could idealize the sign of your Neptune degree. ☾People who have the Sun sign or Personal Planets in the sign of Your Saturn degree could teach you valuable/harsh lessons. ☾You have Love/hate relationship with people who has personal planets of the same sign of your Pluto degree, since they trigger your shadow. ☾Moon in 4th house: Have to find balance between comfort zone and Doing things, i know your house/home could be the best place in the world when life gets hard, but you could get stuck here. They have very good intuition to see/decipher the energy of the psychosocial environment, they never forget due to their good memory, the best practice here is to let go and remember that life is sustaining you all the time and realize that your home is in you and is all existence/universe/infinite, that way you become like a spring of life that nourishes everything & everyone that is around you. ☾Vertex in 8th house: Has intense karmic s*xual partners. ☾I have Sun in Scorpio in 5th house conjunct Sappho(80), Casanova(7328), and asteroids Shiva(1170), Bacchus(2063), Cupido(763) & Vesta(4) all in Scorpio 5th house too... And i’m going to tell you how it is: I love the energy of women(i really love it), i do a lot of yoga, Tantra for me is the best way to manage all this s*xual energy, casual s*x is not for me(because I want to merge completely and become one with the person), but is hard for me to stay long periods of time without s*x, i love flirting because I feel it's necessary/fundamental and fun (sometimes I don't realize when I'm doing it, and sometimes i flirt with everyone?), My libido is high and is not so easily transmutable, intense parties with s*xual and chaotic themes are places where I have a lot of fun and they relax me a lot, when i'm simple being people think that I give off the vibes of a fuckboy(I am not lol), intense music gives me chi(lol), When I fall in love I become quite possessive because I want that person just for me, and I can have s*x with that person every damn day of my life(With my first ex-girlfriend we had s*x every day for four months, several times a day), I am super passionate about art/music/spirituality and games in general, in the past I had a terrible jealousy problem (until I became more spiritual/conscious/therapy), my s*xual partners usually have very Plutonian or Scorpian vibes, If I spend a lot of time with a partner it drains me a lot and I have to disappear for a while, otherwise i become crazy, i love gloomy art, when i develop a crush on someone it feels like this: https://tenor.com/es-419/view/sukuna-smile-grin-jjk-yuji-itadori-gif-18924114

☾To all plutonian people: Pluto doesn’t care about you, It doesn’t care if you suffer or you are happy. The only thing that Pluto wants is that you transcends the extremes of what you call good and bad, because that way you can transform(nothing of the old remains)yourself, in other words Pluto wants you to become awakened/enlightened(reach your full potential) but it doesn’t care if you destroy yourself along the way. So watch out that this raw energy(power) of Pluto goes to your ego, because it could make you really egocentric(like sukuna, madara uchiha, toji fushiguro, villain archetype). ☾Libra IC: Daydreamers(they daydream like f*ck), harmonious home, beautiful family that is surrounded by arts or beauty in general, Diplomatics fathers, could have problems to express their anger, super charming, they decorate their rooms a lot, And a lot of people finds their room like a precious and dreamy place. ☾Sun opposite Saturn: Very serious person, disciplined, could suffer from depression because Saturn limits his expression, Saturn here asks you to focus on what is really important, in the house where the sun is, is where the burden of Saturn is lightened, and in the house where Saturn is, is where the most important lessons are, Saturn here practically asks you to become a master of your ego / of yourself / how you use your energies,  asks you to really observe what your needs/deep soul desires are, thats why it limits your expression because it actually wants you to express in a most authentic, mature and honest way, may have problems with the inner child, and they can punish themselves a lot, but once they discipline themselves in something, believe me that nobody and nothing is going to stop them (hard working af).

🌿i am going to do bookings for natal chart readings, very soon! Stay tuned!🌿

[aesterblaster]

Just saw a really clickbait-y youtube video that called Blue Lock fascist in its thumbnail and I will admit first and foremost that I didn't watch it and yes I've been informed that it isn't implying that Blue Lock is some fascistic propaganda but it still got me thinking so-

here's my rant/breakdown about the ways that Blue Lock is specifically anti-fascist

So first of all, popular animes and mangas having possibly fascist undertones is nothing new. I won't deny that there's a long history of Japan being a colonizer and commiting atrocities that are still brushed off or forgotten about to this day. And this does seep into some works that I personally choose to not engage with for exactly that reason. Miss me with trying to be an apologist for or glorifying real world war crimes- But Blue Lock specifically? I'd be extremely hard pressed to call it fascist.

Fascism is defined as an alt-right, ultra nationalistic political ideology usually characterized by a centralized autocracy, forced suppression of opposition, belief in a natural social hierarchy and subordination of individual interests for the believed good of the nation or race according to Wikipedia. First let's go through the ways Blue Lock does match up with that.

Ego can be easily viewed as a dictator near the beginning of the manga

Most characters thrive on putting others down for their faults and strictly believe that there is some sort of natural order where people who lack "ego" are at the bottom

There is a sort of central autocracy with the top 6

Near the beginning especially, there is a violent snuffing out of any ideology that dares oppose egocentrism or the idea that you need to be a solid team to win a game

Now let's go through the ways Blue Lock denies and even goes against Fascism.

BLLK's main goal is to make a Japanese soccer team that can win a World Cup. In a more fascist manga, we would see racism ga-fucking-lore. We can see this in animes that have more right wing leaning undertones like Attack on Titan where when race is brought in it's for conflict. There's no possibility of harmony, only winners and losers. Those protected and those put down and punished.

And Blue Lock does have an extreme focus on who wins and who loses. It is not afraid to include racism against Japanese people like with Adam or portray black people in unsettling and kind of racist ways like Dada's original design. But these elements don't automatically spell fascism. Blue Lock is careful to portray characters of color as just that, characters. They don't exist to tell you about their lives of hardship and struggle and they don't exist to justify Ego's obessesion with creating a good Japanese team. As you read BLLK, you'll notice that the artist has taken care to get better at drawing different body types and facial structures. The character design isn't trying to sell some perfect ideal like fascism so famously does, it tells you a peak athlete doesn't have one distinct look. It tells you characters from other countries are just as if not more capable than the Blue Lock boys. Hell, even Sae's hatred of Japanese football is portrayed as less of a betrayal of country and pride and more of a cultural clash. The issue to be solved in Sae's character is the way he looks down on his brother, not how much he despises Japanese football teams' tactics. We know this because Ego himself rails against them too.

A fascist manga would paint Sae as a villain for even learning from and joining teams from other countries, lending them his talent instead of keeping it in his home country. But Blue Lock encourages diversification and collaberation with other nation's teams so heavily that it is literally an entire like 5 part arc right now. Ego isn't ultra nationalistic, he just wants to make a better soccer team for his country and he isn't afraid of praising and adopting from other countries in the process. The biggest win to come out of a Blue Lock team wouldn't be that they're all Japanese but that they all follow his ideology.

Speaking of his ideology, Ego is extremely harsh and controlling, yes, but he also believes in the boys. He lets them do what they believe is best. He pushes them to their limits, not because they disobey him, but because they dissapoint him. A true fascist dictator would rule with fear with no introductions of other ideologies, he would strike at any sign of weakness or opposition. At the beginning, he does do this. But as the manga goes on we see how much wiggle room he's willing to allow. He lets Isagi curse at him and question his leadership, he lets Shidou play even though he's clearly queer and extremely volatile, he doesn't punish any of the boys for injuring each other. In a fascist society, you are expected to fit an ideal or be othered, be perfect and work together with a sense of comradere because that's the only way to prove your claims that you are the best race/nation. There can be no imperfections or cracks in the facade...But Ego lets the boys be messy. He never forces them to change who they are, only forces them to believe that they can do great things all on their own. Even with Kunigami, Wild Card wasn't a correction of his disbelief in some nation or race, but instead a correction of how limited his mindset was. In fact, in a more fascist society, Kunigami's love of playing hero and protecting his teammates would be praised and celebrated. Ego putting individuality and aspiration over the good of the team as a whole is literally a middle finger to fascism.

The villain of the series is literally a greedy Japanese man that wants to commercialize the team and make them less individualized. I don't know how much more anti-fascist you could get-

Also, Blue Lock handles disability very carefully and very well. In more alt-right ideologies than not, something you'll see again and again is this idea that disabled people don't deserve the same rights because they can't contribute to society. Disabled people are a stain to be pushed away and hidden because they contradict the central idea of a "perfect" nation. In a fascist retelling of BLLK, Chigiri would be kicked from the program, not given power and influence. In a fascist retelling of BLLK, Kenyu would be attacked and beaten as soon as it was discovered that he made it into the top-six with failing eyesight. Any physical disadvantage could easily put an athlete at the bottom of the social hierarchy as well, Blue Lock could have very very easily made fun of its disabled characters for even trying. It could get away with mistreating these players and be defended for it so fucking quickly. But instead, it lets you root for them and gives them just as much care and weight as the others. It's trying to tell you that being a good player sometimes means knowing your limits and getting help, not punishing yourself because you have some biological disadvantage. It also takes care to demonstrate that no race is inherently worse at soccer than the other.

And, of course, the elephant in the room, Noa and Kaiser. Okay...if you see German characters and immediately think OMG NAZIS??OMG FASCISM?????OMGGGG HE HAS BLONDE HAIR???AND BLUE EYES?? That's a fucking you problem and you clearly aren't reading the manga. Even Noa Noel being an older man and still being allowed to play and looked up to as the best is an example of how Blue Lock goes against steriotypes about athletes. Kaiser does have blonde hair and blue eyes yes, but he also wears eyeliner and eyeshadow and has a tattoo and dyed hair... None of that would be allowed in an actually fascist Japanese manga unless it was as caricature to make fun of and dominate. But instead, Kaiser is an actual threat who has complex arcs and behaviors. Also, Kaiser isn't fascist himself, he clearly views Isagi as an equal even though they're different nationalities and he doesn't believe in any one authority or greater cause except for himself. Noa is very strict yes, and he does rank and rate the boys, but he specifically doesn't factor race into it. He also, just like Ego, allows other ideas and patterns to emerge even if they mess up his own plans for matches. He doesn't suppress anyone and is actually extremely lax. If you think he or BLLK is "fascist", look at actual real world sports teams and their strict practices or past statements about other nationalities.

Isagi as a protaganist is anti-fascist too!!!! He's a Japanese everyman who has good Japanese parents, no disabilities, an honest personality and believes in a future where Japan wins the World Cup. In a fascist story, he'd be fucking untouchable (ESPECIALLY against characters from other countries) and all of this would be paraded as proof that a Japanese soccer team is clearly superior and all-dominating. But no! He gets beat down, questioned, disrespected and constantly shown up by others. He's not special and he's extremely self-centered. He doesn't water his own beliefs down for the "good of the nation" or whatever the fuck and he grew up idolizing foreign players. Isagi never supresses other people's ideologies, he just makes fun of them if they fuck up. He's never xenophobic, even when other characters have moments that have xenophobic undertoens like Adam or Sae's comments. Isagi Yoichi's character could have a few traits flipped and be a poster boy for some alt-right manga about how superior Japanese people or hell, Ego's pupils are. But he doesn't. He's simply designed and he's rude and he looks down on people, but he also apologizes, humbly accepts when he can improve by questioning his own ideals and is open to talking with everyone he comes across.

Calling Blue Lock a "fascist soccer manga" is not only demonstrating that you have no idea what fascism is, but also disgustingly painting over all the beautiful themes and messages within the manga.

Again I'm aware that that original video wasn't aiming to negate any of these points but I have seen people make claims and jokes before that about Blue Lock's more *beat it into your head* tendencies with ideology. And I've seen jokes specifically about the German team/the way Sae seems to just hate Japanese culture. I just dislike the painting of Blue Lock as a jumping point for discussions about fascism and its effects because of the way it handles themes like cross cultural connection, family pressures, capitalism and disability so carefully.

[sgiandubh]

'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

It is one thing to disprove and even despise The Shire and its netizens. It is a whole other affair to violently bash S's skills, based on absolutely nothing else than spiteful disappointment.

We are being told by Mordor's basement polymaths the man cannot act. It is probably by an unelucidated strike of luck or by charity that he was cast by *** to embody book boyfriend JAMMF, when he has only 5 (five) known facial expressions in his quiver. He was the weakest link of Season 1 cast: I suppose the BJ/Frank Randall 2-in-1 does have a fan club, after all. His acting is wooden. He has chemistry only with C and by Her grace only, because you know, gay as a bag of popcorn. He is a semi-literate hunk, with documented spelling problems. Even more so, when we conveniently toss aside the mounting hysteria during Quarantein Ha-wa-wee disgrace (hey Pooks and all the sock account Dobermans: I hope you remember your Twitter blaze of glory moment every single morning while brushing your teeth). And (also a favorite) he doesn't read, he doesn't prepare, he is sloppy, like that.

God forbid you'd try to set this colossal unfairness straight. You are automatically signed up to the Mommies for Sam Committee and labeled accordingly. Brainless victim (of what, since he is basically useless, but let's not embarrass ourselves with logic), unapologetic limerent inamorata, romantic whale, delusional rural shipper, conspiracy theory troll. Anything goes, really and we know the tune by heart, at this point in time.

Not so long ago, I was re-watching the oath sequence of (5.01) The Fiery Cross, for which I suppose all background/context is superfluous. The only clip I could find has appalling sound, but should still immediately take you back to the Return of the Kilt (starts at 0:56):

It immediately reminded me of this:

This is the extraordinary Henry V Saint Crispin's Day speech. Pure Shakespeare and unmatchable Olivier. It is also a well-documented kamikaze moment of the Battle of Agincourt (1415), when a heavily outnumbered English army defeated in an almost miraculous turn of events the French. Granted, the real speech must have been way more concise, but nevertheless a potent affair, with Henry's cunning use of rumors having it that the French would cut two fingers off each captured archer's right hand, to virtually neutralize them. And his army was, essentially, an army of longbows.

Whatever it was, it worked. It worked so well, that it even gave Winston Churchill the idea of asking Laurence Olivier to broadcast this speech for the BBC some time around 1942 and then make a movie of the whole play, in 1944. Again, context is important -it always is, by the way - and it sheds the right light on Olivier's performance. More than acting, it is damn effective war propaganda, a wonderful patriotic act and completely representative for the "we shall fight them on the beaches and we shall never surrender" spirit. It is also all about acting as summoning of energy: Olivier manages to channel Henry V, he is Henry V and this immediately gives an irresistible depth and truth to his performance.

For contrast, one could compare his version with Branagh's 1989 interpretation (https://youtu.be/y1BhnepZnoo), which I am not adding here for the sake of levity. The main difference is, for me at least, palpable: Olivier completely suppressed his ego, which I am afraid is something impossible to achieve for Branagh. His take on the speech aims to be more modern and natural, and yet it is still all about Branagh promoting his art. And we know it immediately. A fairly honest tableau vivant, but no depth and nowhere near as majestic as the other.

I am not saying here that S is on par with Laurence Olivier. That would really mean being a romantic whale and I am the one you start to get, I hope, acquainted with. What I am saying is that this guy you just love to humiliate and endlessly cackle about every single day God makes, really, deliberately knows what he is doing in there. I would bet handsome money on S carefully watching and re-watching Olivier's Saint Crispin's Day monologue, in order to prepare for that particular scene. The similarities are, to me, evident, as is the consistent hard work and - dare I say it?- massive talent. It's all about owning the scene and being in the moment. And it is arresting, at times.

All of this is not exactly some shipper far-fetched speculation. S wrote, after all, in Waypoints (and the reference is way too spot on to believe in a kind gesture of the ghostwriter) that he "devoured"

I see great things. I see a very gifted guy who has no ego (C was spot on and for an actor, that is a blessing) and also probably no idea of his (considerable) acting range. I also see a guy who, spare for OL, has been grossly, unfairly miscast and overlooked. And who was determined to take whatever was available or easy on the schedule, in order to remain relevant. I may not be a good client for his booze, but I would pay handsomely to see him in something along the lines of For Whom The Bell Tolls. Or even (if you want a more exotic but oh, so rewarding alternative) a still inexplicably missing Western adaptation of Bulgakov's Master and Margarita (probably not the best times for that one, but still: Bulgakov was, after all, born in Kyiv and not really a fan, to say the least, of tyrants). That's exactly how damn good he is.

How was it, Kidneystone BIF? Oh. "No boundaries. No respect. No class." Exactly, madam. You said it yourself.

[reinvent-and-believe]

not true if you’re still taking trick or treat requests, but i love your fics too much not to try!!

royjamie, 71!

hello! have some violent pre-canon sexual tension 😅

71. adrenaline

--

Here it is.

Roy’s got him cornered, back against the wall after a particularly vile insult about Richmond, because Jamie Tartt is above being a fucking team player. They’re close, they always end up so fucking close when it’s like this, and maybe this is it, maybe now they finally duke it out proper-like. Jamie looks like he can’t wait, practically shaking with adrenaline, anticipation.

For all his barely suppressed rage and borderline violent tendencies, Roy’s never been much of a brawler. An aggressive headbutt here or there, sure, that’s practically part of the game. But he doesn’t go around getting into fistfights; he’s got plenty of vices, but that’s not one. He’s Richmond’s captain, for fuck’s sake, he’s not going to be the one to throw the first punch at one of his players, matter how much that shit deserves it. If Jamie starts it, though…

Even with the constant threat of violence bubbling between them, it’s surreal to imagine the physical reality of it, how it will feel when Jamie finally takes that swing. How Roy’s fist might feel colliding with the meat of Jamie’s impressive jaw, how Jamie’s fist might feel in his stomach. Jamie’s not particularly sportsmanlike, that’s for fucking sure, Roy’s seen it over and over since the brat’s loan started three months ago. He imagines Jamie looking for every weakness, slapping, scratching, pulling his hair as they grapple together, breathing the same air.

Jamie grabs him by the collar and here it is, this is where they’ve been headed since that arrogant, childish cunt showed up at Nelson Road with his inflated ego and easy sneer. Roy braces himself for the blow, relieved that it’s Jamie who’ll finally start this, Jamie who’ll give into the violence so Roy need only respond.

Jamie crashes into him, kissing him hard, his fist balled in Roy’s shirt.

Roy freezes against him for a split second before he’s pressing Jamie back harder against the wall, crowding him, close, unbearably close, like he wants to fucking devour him. Rage and arousal and relief flood through him. Jamie struck first, Roy tells himself as he brings a rough hand to the back of Jamie’s neck, pulling him closer, kissing him harder. Roy’s just responding.

Jamie shoves him back, pushing away from the wall and fixing Roy with a heated, filthy smirk. “You got off easy this time, granddad,” he says, winking at Roy and blowing him a kiss as he saunters past him to his car.

Roy leans back against the wall and watches him leave.

Fuck.

[shockersalvage]

Salvage Showcase: Isshiki Madarai

An attempt by yours truly in trying to be active once again here! And what better way than by talking about the characters in Danganronpa that don’t get as much love from the fandom, mostly due to appearing in media that weren’t officially translated or just aren’t that well known. I’ll be giving my analysis on their role in their respective material and my thoughts on them!

So whose up first?

Oh.

Summary

Well, let’s start with a brief explanation. Isshiki Madarai is from Danganronpa Zero and is the Ultimate Bodyguard and is a member of the Hope’s Peak Student Council. On-paper at least. In actuality, despite officially being on the council, no one considers him a true member, instead regulating him to just being a bodyguard. Something they’re painfully aware of.

‘They’re’? Yeah, Madarai is actually one of eight octuplets with the collective talent of ‘Multiple Birth Siblings’ (henceforth will be known as MBS because that full title can take a hike). They all act under the ‘Isshiki Madarai’ name and are reoccurring antagonists for the events of Zero. Their main goal is to gain vengeance for the Student Council’s demise, with their intuition leading them to believe Ryoko had something to do with the incident and relentlessly hunting her. In the end, all eight end up being murdered by either Mukuro or Junko, with their deaths being covered up by the school as them being expelled.

Personality wise, the Madarai are all fairly similar to each other: merciless, stubborn, prideful, and ego’s easily wounded. They’re also detrimentally violent, which leads to their downfall on multiple occasions. Overall, they’re a clan that feels insulted over the Tragedy of Hope’s Peak and will stop at nothing to find the perpetrator of the incident. They also hold keen intuition and can be cautious, but they're opt to use brute force like torture or murder in order to get their way.

The Rundown

Now, the good I will say about the Madarai is how they fit in with Danganronpa Zero’s theme of identity. Or rather, lack of identity. Not to mention a theme of irrelevance (I’m not making of fun of them, being serious). As well as being contrasts to both Yuto Kamishiro and the Despair Sisters. The first thing that comes to mind is Madarai’s sibling gimmick, where eight individuals are acting as one person, effectively suppressing their own individuality for the sake of a lie for intimidation purposes.

However, in doing so they had also effectively stunted themselves. In exchange for uniformity, they had become utterly predictable to the point that Ryoko herself, a scared amnesiac, was able to knock one out after being exposed to their fighting style for long enough and Mukuro even chided that being the reason she can kick their asses so easily. In a series where Ultimates praised over their own unique individual talents, their choice to be the same effectively doomed them. This uniformity also goes against the Despair Sisters. While they may be twins, both are extremely different in terms of personality and skills - you can’t approach one like you do the other and trying for anything conventional against them is bound to get you hurt.  They’re existence pretty much slaps the Madarai’s methods in the face and given their major feat of ENDING THE WORLD you have to admit their way worked best.

As for Yuto? In general, both of their desire was to figure out the truth to the Tragedy of Hope’s Peak, albeit for different motivations. For the Madarai it was for the sake of their own wounded pride and vengeance. For Yuto? A way to increase his own fame. While the Madarai’s methods are flashy and brutal, with the culprit in their sights given their intuition- its largely ineffective and doesn’t gain much in the way of practical information and only results in them being taken out knowing nothing useful. In Yuto’s case, befitting his nature as a spy (though not his personality), he gains credible evidence and extremely useful knowledge into stuff regarding details like Izuru Kamukura. However, he is physically weak, so when he gets in way too deep, he ends up killed for his efforts. It’s one of the case where, if both had known about the other’s intentions and opted to work together, they probably could have covered way more ground and be able to make up for the others weaknesses.

What’s interesting about both is how they relate to the identity theme of Zero - or the lack of it. Yuto is the Madarai’s polar opposite. Yuto design and purpose is to be fairly simple and forgettable, much to his chagrin. But its in this lack of identity where he finds strength to get things done and showcase his information gathering skills  and become fairly close to the truth. In contrast, the Madarai’s design is supposed to stand out (for better or for worse) with his  elaborate snake-like monster design and serves as a plot roadblock. Yet, his effects on the plot when you look back is rather paper thin. At best, their attempts are good for highlighting Ryoko’s competence and Mukuro’s power. At worst, which to me they hit that way often, they are aforementioned roadblocks. Any interaction one would want to see further or plot details you want to see developed end up getting derailed with their whole invincible shtick and their own story of revenge concerning the Council’s demise. They’re purposefully made to be intrusive in the story, yet its also on purpose that their storyline never successfully goes anywhere. It ties back into their secondary theme of ‘irrelevance’.

The Madarai, technically, would have been ‘16th student’ of the Student Council killing game, but weren’t there because Junko never considered them one. She wasn’t the only one to consider this. The Headmaster, Steering Committee, Soshun Murasame, hell not even themselves if Mishiki bitterly remembering it is to go by. No one considers them a true councilman beyond just being a guardian and they had no use in-story beyond that. Mukuro even points this out that she actually doesn’t want  to fight the Madarai since it just creates more victims and it was better for the remaining Madarai to go away since the story had nothing to do with them (I’ll talk about DR0!Mukuro at a later date). To put it simply, they aren’t wanted in-story since they have no relevance to the bad guys’ plans and for, well Hope’s Peak aren’t really good guys, the administration side the Madarai’s worth as people aren’t considered beyond their talent. Once they failed no one even bats an eye at them. Even DR3 shows that, even in spite of that guardian role, no one in the Student Council bothered to alert the Madarai they received threatening messages or bring one along. It’s one of those things that retroactively gives the impression Madarai’s presence was quite the afterthought in-universe and adds a layer of a bitter tragedy to it. They stand out and have utility, but no one sees their potential and layers beyond that. Their gimmick would be interested in a more action oriented series, but in Danganronpa (a murder mystery fiction) brute strength takes a back seat for brainpower. And given DR’s nature, where Ultimates who excel in combat more than them exist (like the Ultimate Soldier) or excelling in intelligence, like the Despair Sisters the only thing awaiting a character like the Madarai is cruel defeat and to be swept under the rug just as fast.

Personal Thoughts

Now I’ll be blunt: I don’t like these guys. In fact I think they just might be my most hated Danganronpa characters of all time. Remember the whole ‘they’re intrustive’ bit I went into earlier? Yeah, them showing up again and again with the strategy of ‘we’ll beat you up until you fess up’ quickly wore thin. I know they’re supposed to be bitter hotheads and I know them acting the same is intentional, but God did it not make their antics bearable. “Yes, let’s threaten this guy’s life! Yes, let’s attack the principal’s daughter! Surely this won’t backfire on us, assuming we don’t die ourselves”. Ugh.

Side note: Also hate their designs. You want to make a snake like student? Sure designers go ahead! But you need to make sure they look decent.

Making them ridiculously buff isn’t making them decent!! It clashes with the motif and just makes them look jarring to look at it! You can have a character be strong, but this goes way overboard.

His concept art is a major improvement that I wish the other illustrations stick to.

This ends the first showcase, next time I post I’ll be going on about a character from the Danganronpa Kirigiri side of things!

[astrology-with-charu]

𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻 𝗥𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲 @𝟮𝟯º𝟯𝟮’ 𝗔𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗧𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝟮𝟵 𝗗𝗲𝗰

ℌ𝖊𝔞𝖑𝔢𝖗 𝖔𝔯 𝔗𝖔𝔯𝖒𝔢𝖓𝔱𝖔𝔯

Chiron started its journey in Aries from 17 April 2018, starting a process of waking up our wounds of individuality, initiative & action. Wounds we didn’t know existed but who have been silently running our psychological patterns & life choices. Much like a torn tendon which doesn’t let you put pressure on that one foot cause your subconsciously recall its weak and wouldn’t be able to take it & you will fall - you just didn’t use your weak points in Aries due to a wounding you have forgotten you received.

Chiron goes retrograde at 23º32’ Aries & like a phantom pain it all wakes up. You have been too busy trying to give lessons to others & forgot to heal yourself. So the questions come up.

Why do we not do what we want to do for ourselves & how does that wound us ? Why can we teach but not do the same in our life ? Why we can see potential in another clearly but not ourselves ? Who wounded your defiance & made you a sheep for sake of getting along in relationships ? How were you tamed ? By love, manipulation or fear or shame or trickled down feeling of inadequacy? Did it physically hurt when you stood up for yourself ? Or was it an emotional scar that wakes up to warn every time you stand your ground ? Why do you not laugh like a free child ? Why do you hide your drive, your success, your passion from the very people who are supposed to be your partners in life ?

We have a whole generation of damage with Pluto in Libra opposing planets in Aries so no it’s not just you or me who feel that way. I feel Chiron in Aries is healing a lot of these aspects our generation carries in our chart and it’s happening through healers coming in our life. But not in the shape or form we want. They may not be the saints lovingly healing it all through their healing touch. Won’t that be so non Aries, so non violent, so non Plutonic. How can it be ? Nah. We got a toxic brew of healers & tormentors…

The healers of our generation come first to wake up the very wound we have forgotten. We suppressed them not understanding why we don’t do right by ourselves. Cause it hurt when we did at one time. No child is born to fear their free actions, their free smile, their free spirit - it’s an acquired pattern. The tendon that hurts when you are about to take that step you know you need to take to make what you need happen - that tendon needs to be healed and thats why that “healer” is here. I know a lot of those healers are hurting you right now but it’s so you remember what you suppressed to make “nice” in the Pluto in Libra times. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to those born after 1984 but yeah the GenXers and my early millennials are getting a dose of their own medicine right now so we do not pass this pattern down the generations, stopping people from being their true self cause it’s inconvenient to the harmony as they know it, it disturbs the symmetry they know or its not pretty how they like it or its not a kosher relationship as they believe one should be.

Living and not just surviving in relationships, in partnerships while managing to be your own person - oh what a challenge of North Node in Aries & South Node in Libra has come up with for all of us. Chiron says let’s make it impossible to move forward if you do not heal the imbalance you have between the “you” and “we”. Aries Sun - yes I am looking right at you as I am looking at myself with my Sun pat conjunct this Chiron retrograde (~13/14 April born) - Did you meet your “healer” or your “tormentor” . It’s tough to say which is which. 19 Feb Chiron North Node conjunction would have been key to look back to for the current process. Every fear, every insecurity, every wound ever dealt to your ego, your life path, your sense of self - your light - right now is being woken up so you never forget why you dim it and for who or what.

For all of us even if you are not an Aries Sun or Aries anything, you are seeing why you give your individuality, your independence, your spirit, your fire away. Whats your wound ? Who stole your courage ? Are you being pushed in the corner to finally stand up for yourself and prove yourself or fight for your independence to remember who you are ? I know it’s all coming out chaotic right now - its shadow period, I told you words wouldn’t be right at the moment. See beyond words - why are you fighting ? What are you fighting for ? It’s not the petty things or the subject at hand at all. This is repeated patterns especially in relationships, for Aries Sun women its especially related to men or father figures in their life. Ways in which we undermine ourselves and shrink ourselves in partnerships to fit a predefined peg. The healer comes with a message or with a tormented lesson and just like that we are in that wound, in the throws of another time long time back when this was repeated and we changed forever. In this moment of weakness its very easy to give into south node in Libra comfort and give into a partnership or another person to comfort us into feeling whole & form unhealthy patterns of codependency which ultimately will keep you away from strengthening the weakened Aries muscle. You would need to stand up for yourself, there is no choice or not doing anything about anything is a choice you and me are making to continue with that weak muscle which is slowly disintegrating and for Aries Sun thats not even a choice as it’s their entire identity which is diminishing without working on that muscle. Disappearing slowly as we know them, what a loss that would be to loose an Aries Sun identity, its a gift which is being rejected, dishonoured.

Its fruitless to try to convince others that the you that they always knew still exists inside or just fruitless to trying to prove anything to anyone. If that gives you any incentive or strength sure take the bait but it’s just that - a bait for someone else dealing with their own wound. Chiron in retrograde is so not about whats it to others at all. It’s the period to heal your own innate Aries qualities - doing the things you know you need to do, take the road you have always said you wanted to take, taking the action you always said you are going to take. Leo season is helpful as fire begets fire - bringing healing to our fire nature. At first too much of it. You take a bandaid out or get a person out of prolonged mind numbing anaesthesia - ah the screaming. It’s painful, it’s been painful this past few days of feeling it all with Chiron standing still turning retrograde but now till end of year (29 Dec) - we have so many supporting aspects to benefits from healing our Aries nature. There is so much to be gained by focusing this on ourselves versus looking outward for both cause of pains and offers of relief to others.

What are these Aries qualities I talk so much of healing ? When I was a small kid - my relatives used to say I shoot first & think later. I do not think anyone would really say that to me now. I am Aries Moon which I lived fully as a child & my Aries Sun is opposed by Pluto so I learned the art of modified behavior over years & assumed my Scorpio ascendent cloak as I grew to have any social presence. Only people very close to me know my Aries Moon & I myself have a love hate relationship with it cause I have had a life time of being judged for it even by close ones, especially by close ones. I did and still do a lot of things which one would be foolish to do including writing this article which my whole family would end up reading but yeah ok. So yes shoot first think later I would say. Doesn’t mean the gun needs to point at anyone, it isn’t even about anyone else, its about you - what you want out of this life, who you want to be, whats the unconquerable, unexplored land you wish to go to and not be a sheep anymore. This is the arrow you have been holding from your quiver stretched all ready to go but you just are doing the Virgo thing (significator of Chiron) - of trying to get the aim just exact and loosing time.

I am not worthy of it, I do not have the energy, the courage for it, I need to overthink this idea to death vs trying and finding out quickly, I have to have to assume a fixed identity all my life, I would wallow in self pity and judgement cause I failed before & I will forget all about my victories, I would like to wallow in emotions which clearly kill my drive, power & sexuality, let me find someone who can lead me vs being the main protagonist of my story one more time, let me see from the corner of my eye who is clapping or smirking when I take my first step so I have an excuse to back out immediately - do you hear yourself ? I am not trying to be rude here - I am taking my own advice where I am shooting this article without thinking but saying what I know instinctively in my bones to be true. What do you know in your bones to be true for you ? Can I dare you to stop stopping yourself and stop being your own worst enemy ? Can I provoke you as your tormentor to tell you there is not very many years left to do this ?

Aries qualities you have to look forward to once you actually take action despite your misgivings - Single minded action, self assured action (not externally incentivised life), assertion, authenticity, lack of indecision, no time or thought to judge self or another, pure raw energy & drive undeterred by analysis paralysis, ease, delight in doing things for the sake of doing them and the new experiences it would bring irrespective of the end outcome, physical vitality - irrespective of how you feel - doing physical things.

Gift of this year - Jupiter in Gemini will form many supportive aspects with Chiron which we can tap into through expansive mindset, positive words for self and what we are doing, expansion of knowledge of unexplored territories & finding positive associations or teachers who can help us heal. Granted Oct - Nov is when Jupiter will be more accessible for this to be exact (12 Oct & 2 Nov).

But there is nothing like Leo season to let your Sun heal (15 Aug especially - Independence Day 😂). Mercury in Leo trine to Chiron is key aspect of Mercury retrograde repeated - 18 July, 23 Aug, 2 Sept . Fiery words that come out of this wound we are healing would get perfected to convey what you want to in constructive manner and during this retrograde you and I would understand our wound better and what it drives us to do or lash out or not in what ways.

Cause we got to learn to handle our fire right.

Love, Charu 🔥 ♥️

[thyandrawrites]

Is it bad if I want the villains to win? Because I’ll be perfectly honest, I’m really finding it hard to support the heroes. We had the willful suppression and ignorance of those who slipped through the cracks. Then came the violent reprisal against those who kept trying to get their points across in an actual conversation. After that we had heroes who complained about their reputations being ruined and condemning the villains for the awful crime of battering their egos. From there we got heroes perfectly willing to use actual civilians as meat shields and propaganda puppets to make the villains look worse. Lastly we’ve been shown time and time again that if they can’t have what they want, then they’re more than happy to just…. take somebody out for not being what they want, even when it’s clear that a part of them remains, and it’s the part they liked best back then. Idk, it’s just really difficult to see why I should root for the side of “Justice” when they keep showing themselves to be anything but. I’d also mention the kids, but that’s a mess in and of itself so I’m just not going to since it’s been really uncomfortable to hear them talk these last few chapters. Sorry for the rant btw, I just recently came back to the manga and had lots to say.

No, I don't think it's wrong to not want to see your favourite characters beaten up on the daily, by the heroes and by the narrative both. I've found it hard to root for the heroes myself for quite a while now, too. I know things will probably get better but it's hard to keep reading with that thought in mind when the kids being better than the prev gen so far has only been told but not shown

I try to keep a positive mindset, but I definitely understand your frustration

[abugwritesstuff]

hi! i’ve sent this to a couple other of my favorite COD writers, but it’s a psycho-analysis thing on guy that i wanted to share as im curious about other’s thoughts. i should mention that i am a psych student with a special interest in male psychological trauma and “toxic masculinity” (put in quotes because idk the scientific term for it lmao)

warnings for slight spoilers, i don’t believe there’s much of anything too triggering, just some mention of sexism in avari, and parental/generational trauma, but nothing too detailed.

(and j*sper jumpscare at the end but it’s just slander)

this also isn’t at all and excuse for abuse or anything of the sort, and that’s not what i specialize in either; it’s more like a deeper analysis of internalized sexism, now if guy did anything on the level of j*sper or got physical or anything, i would not be writing this.

so, guy starts off very controlling (literally using mind control), but when you play his route + events (specifically the ones where he goes to avari) a much deeper story unfolds. it is my understanding that avari has very different thoughts on women, and we even see guy tell MC that his father told him all women are cruel and only want power. i believe guy has been told all his life negative things about women, and that all he has seen was his father marry for power after his mother passed. we also see in a route that guy was much more open when his mom was alive, but closed his heart to everyone when she was killed. it is also seen that guy assumed his mother was murdered by other women. so, Guy has been told all his life these things about women, ever since he was a child, and never had the chance to see any differently as he never opened up to another woman until MC.

now this is where the beauty comes in. after a while, guy begins to truly love MC for herself and not just her power, and even tells her what he was told about women and says she changed that. guy was able to swallow his ego and be emotionally open to MC and begin to see her as an individual and not just a vessel for power. guy defends her to her father and tells him off saying that he truly loves her and no other, and it is not just because of her power, and that she will make a fine queen. we see him praise her throughout his stories and events, and through his thoughts we see he is truly a changed man who has changed his outlook on women through his love for MC.

although he is not yet open to fully sharing his thoughts quite yet, we see that he is actively working on himself for MC.

we also see a boyish side come out of him during these emotional moments, that i believe to be trauma regression and suppressed feelings that he has had to endure due to the excessively violent and aggressive nature of avari. i truly think guy’s initial act towards MC is due to trauma and abuse he suffered in avari, and he only begun realizing he was lied to and was wrong about women through his relationship with MC. guy is actually my favorite character because of this, and i think it’s truly a beautifully complex story that the creators made. also, i love how his toxic masculinity was turned around and how it tells the story that growing up in such a toxic environment can truly damage a man.

j*sper is a whole different story, bro is just a perv who deserves cancer.

sorry, this is about to be super rambl-y! i go off on some related tangents here lol

yeah this is interesting! i guess i disagree in that i don't actually think that the CoD writers have really fleshed him out as well as we in the fandom have and that has always been the core of my distaste for his character, and why i prefer him in fic form 9 times out of 10. 100% i believe he's traumatized by life in avari and the loss of his mom, and that his sexism stems from that, and because of that he has potential to be deep and complex in his flaws, but there's always a core to his character that just stays flat and unchanged, particularly with the event stories- he almost defaults to cruelty and rarely shows genuine remorse or legitimately, verbally apologizes*, complete with an understanding of what he did wrong and actual changed behavior. (i can distantly recall event stories where he does something awful, they have a relationship meltdown, they make up because MC gaslights herself into believing that she was being unfair, and then he continues doing shitty things??? like he's kinda emotionally abusive in some stories.) they do this this kind of half-baked character development with fenn as well, though his book 2 was a massive help in showing actual personal growth. i'm really hoping guy's book 2 provides similar evidence of change.

the unfortunate thing is that since i've been playing voltage games on and off for the past ten years, i'm pretty familiar with the archetype they're using for guy and have some serious doubts that they'll write him better. controlling asshole alpha male who has a trauma backstory and, despite falling in love with the MC, just acts like a complete dickwipe forever is pretty much par the course. so i'm a bit conflicted about the possibility that we'll get the kind of fleshing out of guy's character that we need.

as another note, the most i've seen (or at least, perceived) from guy as far as remedying his sexism is him deciding MC is an exception to the general rule that women are bad. he's had some genuinely selfless moments for her here and there in stories, but none that would really give me an indication that his view of women overall is healing. and that's the kicker for me: men like that exist in real life, and when the woman they've removed to the pedestal disappoints them in some way, they're right back to square one because they didn't actually change their views. and the sort of change that he'd need to undergo as a character to unpack that bullshit is pretty intense, which is another reason why i'm skeptical we'll get what we need and why i prefer the fandom version of guy- and why i prefer the version that you've presented here.

tldr; the material to make guy an incredible character is there, but i think some details are missing and the legitimate development we need isn't something voltage is terribly likely to do.

*to note- this behavior is extremely unsympathetic to me because it reminds me of my dad lol. i understand why others have sympathy for it, but i lack the personal bandwidth.

[courtofmatchups]

hi! i've sent this to a couple other of my favorite COD writers, but it's a psycho-analysis thing on guy that i wanted to share as im curious about other's thoughts. i should mention that i am a psych student with a special interest in male psychological trauma and "toxic masculinity" (put in quotes because idk the scientific term for it Imao)

warnings for slight spoilers, i don't believe there's much of anything too triggering, just some mention of sexism in avari, and parental/generational trauma, but nothing too detailed.

(and j*sper jumpscare at the end but it's just slander)

this also isn’t at all and excuse for abuse or anything of the sort, and that’s not what i specialize in either; it’s more like a deeper analysis of internalized sexism, now if guy did anything on the level of j*sper or got physical or anything, i would not be writing this. 

so, guy starts off very controlling (literally using mind control), but when you play his route + events (specifically the ones where he goes to avari) a much deeper story unfolds.

it is my understanding that avari has very different thoughts on women, and we even see guy tell MC that his father told him all women are cruel and only want power. i believe guy has been told all his life negative things about women, and that all he has seen was his father marry for power after his mother passed. we also see in a route that guy was much more open when his mom was alive, but closed his heart to everyone when she was killed. it is also seen that guy assumed his mother was murdered by other women. so, Guy has been told all his life these things about women, ever since he was a child, and never had the chance to see any differently as he never opened up to another woman until MC.

now this is where the beauty comes in. after a while, guy begins to truly love MC for herself and not just her power, and even tells her what he was told about women and says she changed that. guy was able to swallow his ego and be emotionally open to MC and begin to see her as an individual and not just a vessel for power. guy defends her to her father and tells him off saying that he truly loves her and no other, and it is not just because of her power, and that she will make a fine queen. we see him praise her throughout his stories and events, and through his thoughts we see he is truly a changed man who has changed his outlook on women through his love for MC.

although he is not yet open to fully sharing his thoughts quite yet, we see that he is actively working on himself for MC.

we also see a boyish side come out of him during these emotional moments, that i believe to be trauma regression and suppressed feelings that he has had to endure due to the excessively violent and aggressive nature of avari. i truly think guy's initial act towards MC is due to trauma and abuse he suffered in avari, and he only begun realizing he was lied to and was wrong about women through his relationship with MC. guy is actually my favorite character because of this, and i think it's truly a beautifully complex story that the creators made.

also, i love how his toxic masculinity was turned around and how it tells the story that growing up in such a toxic environment can truly damage a man.

thank you for reading my long ass ramble about a fictional character in a mobile game that i am utterly obsessed with. 

Thanks for confirming that this man DESPERATELY NEEDS THERAPY

Real talk, tho. I am not a psychology major (psychology is more of a special interest of mine, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Or a kilogram. idk), but I can say that all of your points are valid. Growing up in a toxic environment will mess someone up, especially as a child. Bro basically grew up indoctrinated by the Saligian version of Andrew Tate's pHILosOPhY (for lack of a better term) and seeing that view on women unfold his eyes over and over again probably gave him a lot of trust issues too.

I do kind of appreciate that, despite him being very rough around the edges, his character was still ultimately salvageable. I just kind of wish we had the chance to explore his backstory more in his own consort path tho, cuz I feel that bit was a bit rushed. Or maybe it wasn't and I'm remembering wrong? Feel free to correct me on this. It's been a hot minute since I read his consort path

I still don't really like Guy, at least not as a consort, but I do appreciate his character growth, and you really hit the nail on the head

[xollii]

Fantasy world?????? OCs??????? Anything particularly fantastical in the world or whacky or strange or whatnot etc. Is it normal for the OCs??

I really really like the idea of talking about what's unusual about the setting not for us but for the people living in it. So I'm writing about that, lol. To a rural agricultural society, all the dragons and whatnot are normal. What's strange is other people and phenomena difficult to discuss or investigate.

1st, saint veneration. Destruimism was founded by its nameless prophet in the midst of a slave revolt and its audience found the ideas of a false reality kept in perpetual chaos by want and greed, only able to be broken by human will, engaging.

When the religion spread out of the verdant and economically developed fields and into the mountains and swamps where slavery was much less substantial, proselytizers played heavily into hero veneration, especially in deed poetry, something culturally recognizable to everyone, and began repainting apotheosized pagan heroes as warriors of true reality, their sainthood not being established by magic but by righteous actions. This hero worship was not popular to the metropolitan centers of worship Destruimism came from and created long lasting cultural rifts as a result.

In fact, Destruians in general are near universally seen as strange, fatalistic, backwards, even cosmically evil by outside communities.

2nd, the idea that humanity was born in fire about 60,000 years ago (by the "present" date) is incredibly universal, same with the practice of trephination, which -while archaeology as a proper science hasn't been established- is observed in drilled skulls buried around the world. While the question of how or why is answered differently by different people, in an increasingly globalized world, this commonality opens up dialogues between whoever is interested.

3rd, Cynocephali, the immortal dog headed people. While humans have hundreds of origin stories, the cynocephali themselves can only precisely remember their own lives out a couple hundred years, anything further is just vague emotions. They usually play along with whatever humans tell them as to not cause problems. That combined with the inability to reproduce creates a shared sense of confusion, frustration, alienation, and doom regarding their very existence.

4th, An army of eels proclaiming the henotheistic supremacy of their idol-god, Himnosiliax, came from the sea to wage war to conquer the world and kill all who refuse to convert for 27 years before retreating without warning. (This narratively serves as a parallel to the generalized crisis of the 14th century.) Many did convert before the army of the "sea heathens" were dispersed and were subsequently killed en masse and their religion suppressed.

All of this was explained away by the Destruian clergy, but many found it unsatisfying. What little everyone knew is that the eels intended to bring about the apocalypse and create a new world. Why would a supposed manifestation of the demiurge want to destroy their own oppressive reality? What else about their beliefs is missing? Was Himnosiliax actually the idol or just a false god? Why did they leave? Will they come back?

5th, Blank or black knights. These knight-errant warrior monks belonging to ancient Destruian military orders mostly seclude themselves in their fortified monasteries, or "stongs." When they do come out, they come in dressed head to toe in armor, bearing brass spurs and drab robes depending on the order. Most of them come from noble families with nothing left to inherit. They retain the legal right to kill for any reason -usually justified after the fact through theology and bending ecclesiastical law- and serve as an unpredictable, violent, and reactionary paramilitary, come either for a chivalrous ego fantasy or to enforce the political will of the nobility, clergy, or both. The average person knows very little of what goes inside stongs and doesn't think much of it but is forced to wonder about their safety, rights, soul, and community when a blank knight comes riding in.

[blankticket]

Munday 10-13!

10) What do you love about Vash?

i love that he gets somehow even worse about self-preservation.

we go from ep 2 "no thanks, i'm not a fan of pain!" vash undergoing a wacky zany funny looney-tunes chase sequence where he's doing everything to avoid getting shot by a town's worth of grease guns….

to ep 10's early segment of telling wolfwood not to start a fight while he just fucking stands there to take a sniper round fired at him out of vengeance. you can even hear vash quietly grunt in pain as his blood splatters onto wolfwood. and there isn't even a "no, please believe in me / i really can still get the plant back" line of protest or anything, the guy just takes his leave with his head hung low lol. it's awesome

i think he can have negative character development as a treat. it makes the whole thing of the finale's climactic 'i'm vash the stampede' line hit harder anyhow

11) What do you hate about Vash?

plenty still. it all folds back into his ego being the main source of what i hate about him i think. this assumption of his that he is the lowest of the low in every and any world driving his various behaviors of like …

'oh, i should keep this to myself so i don't burden anyone', 'i really don't want to talk about myself so i'm going to do everything i can to divert the talk to focus on the other person, or go quiet or flee if that fails', etc. but self-neglect, self-sabotage, self-harm, ultimately all these things do not only hurt oneself alone

it's a faulty, warped kind of selfish "pacifism" where any pain (even if worth suffering) is stolen, smothered, and suppressed. isn't it more exhausting this way than to simply act on what you know you deserve? how is it any fair to not let anyone help you simply because you believe that no one can or should help you? who is vash to be deciding that? it's arrogance and vanity and ego, even if ostensibly it looks like humility. vash makes it easy to understand where his in-world critics are coming from lol

12) What about Vash amuses you?

i think him being really, really bad at lying is really fucking funny. making him reap what he sows is definitely one of my favorite things to rp out w him

13) What about Vash makes you sad?

see question 10's answer up above lol. while i love that he gets worse on that, it is also sad too. i can't imagine how wolfwood must have felt in that moment, at once violently seeing (and feeling, through his fucking blood splattering on him) just how bad vash has quietly grown to be with his lack of self-preservation/idea of what kind of treatment he deserves from people.

wolfwood going on to ask vash "did you think sacrificing yourself would make everyone happy?" right after, and then the scene cutting right to the bloodied experimentation table of the eye… wow. this show's crazy good. real sad also

[highonmarvel]

Officer

content warnings here!

Bar On Jax Masterlist

Previous Chapter: Still

“No,” he replied, “But I love the enthusiasm. Really, doll,” he sighed, folding his arms and leaning against the doorway as he watched you frown, “I can’t trust you not do anything drastic, here; you’re erratic.”

You’re erratic? You wanted to scream at him, shriek that he’s the one who is constantly flipping between being loving, gentle, caring, and aggressive, violent, a few times, even, and you were sure he wasn’t going to stop. But losing your cool would only boost his ego, he’d think he was right, so he suppressed your rage.

A knock at the front door it sounded like.

James whipped around and peered down the hallway.

Moving quickly, he pulled a drawer open and snatched a cloth out of it. Despite your struggling against him, he managed to gag you pretty quickly as another knock pounded at the door.

He gripped your neck and pulled your face right up to his, your noses bumping, as you struggled to breathe.

“Make a sound I’ll rip your throat,” he threatened lowly. You could feel the anger seething off of him by his rising temperature, and whimpered in response.

He let go and tossed you back, your head bouncing harshly against the headboard causing you to groan.

He looked back at you with wide eyes as a warning for you to shut the fuck up before heading out.

Bucky closed and locked the door behind him as the banging continued.

“Coming!” he yelled as he jogged to the front door, trying not to groan at the interruption and the prospect of spending time with anyone that wasn’t you.

“Sergeant Barnes, it’s an honour to meet you.”

Two police officers stood outside his door, clearly slightly intimidated by him. Fuck, did they know something? If he did he’d have to kill them — he could not have the NYPD on his case — but how would it look if two police officers went missing after going to visit a super soldier.

“Can I help you, officers?” he asked, leaning his stretched arm above his head on the right of the doorway.

“We just wanted to have a few words with you in regards to a suspect in a murder case, believed to be your current girlfriend…” Officer 2 trailed off nervously.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

As bad as this may have seemed, he could at least take solace in the fact the two police officers before him clearly feared and respected him, and maybe for that reason they would leave him alone as soon as possible. And as bad as this may have seemed, he couldn’t help but feel a little giddy that they had called you his girlfriend.

“Uh, of course,” he stepped back and allowed them into the house. He directed them to the living room on the right as he stared down the hallway — where his door was the last on the left — wondering if you had heard it was the police, and why they were here. Even if so, who could help you escape him? Two normal people with guns against an assassin with more than 50 years under his belt? He didn’t think you were stupid enough to think they could make an impact, and hoped you’d understand that causing a scene would only irritate him, hurt you more than help you.

“Have a seat,” he offered following after them.

The night of your date, they asked about.

“Yes,” he replied, “She was with me, we went out for dinner, took a drive up to the peak, and I dropped her off around, say, nine-ish? A little after nine, maybe just before ten past. I haven’t seen her since.”

“Her car is in your driveway.”

Your car was in his fucking driveway. Fuck, they probably wanted you for more questioning and when they realised they couldn’t get hold of you thought you skipped town to went into hiding. Your car was in his driveway, did they think you were hiding there? Technically, they would be right.

“Right!” he remembered, “Right, yeah, I took her car,” he lied, “She said there was a problem with it, wanted to take it to a mechanic, but I said I could do it, free of charge. She hasn’t come to pick it up, I thought maybe she was spending more time with friends and just let it slide. I’m sure she’ll come around in a few days time, maybe even tomorrow.” Fuck, why did he say tomorrow?

Officer 1 nodded as he peeked over his partner’s shoulder while she scribbled down notes.

“So you haven’t had any contact with her since that night?”

He shook his head, “No. It was only one date, and I’m kind of old-fashioned, so I wanted to be a gentleman and help a lady out. And I’m no good with today’s technology,,” he joked, hoping they’d chalk up his different behaviour to old age, “ So I didn’t really keep in touch; we just agreed that I’d see her in a four or five, and I’m at home most of the time so I didn’t see a need to overly coordinate it.”

“Today is the fifth day since your evening together.”

“It is?” he asked, clearly shocked. Fuck, would it have been? The last few days had been so crazy, had it really been less than a week since Sam’s birthday and your date and all this? “Time flies,” he decided to answer, instead of backing himself further into a corner with details.

“Will you tell us if she comes by, Sergeant Barnes? We have reason to believe she’s dangerous.”

“Of course, officers,” he smiled. He was sure if he was anyone else they wouldn’t have just trusted him to tell them if he was harbouring a potential murderer; they wouldn’t dare disrespect a war hero like that.

He led them out and was just about to close the door when one of them called out to him.

“Yes, Officer?” he yelled back.

“Again, it was an honour to meet you, sir; thank you for your service.”

He wondered if they knew he was (had been; in the past) the Winter Soldier but didn’t care and were focused on his service, or if they were oblivious.

He gave them one last tight-lipped smile and shut the door with a breath of relief. Now what? Would he just have to whisk you away, take the two of you to live a private, secluded life, or would he be too recognisable, regardless of where he went? Did they have any more “evidence” on you? Under RUI, you’re free to live your life as you please unless you’re to be charged, and he imagined that wasn’t happening on the count of them having absolutely nothing except a frightened note against you.

Whatever it was, he would handle it as it came; he wasn’t too worried, but did make a note to be more careful. He couldn’t move your car now because where would he take it? And what would the police think if they came back to your missing car but Bucky hadn’t reported you had been here?

He shook the thoughts and walked down the hall back to his (and your) room, where you sat in the same position, looking straight at him.

“Hey, doll,” he smiled as he undid you gag, “You were so good for me, sweetheart. Maybe you can be trusted in the living room with me—”

“You killed her.”

He paused. Had you heard the entire conversation? He didn’t think they had been particularly loud.

“What?” he decided on, playing dumb.

“You killed Cassandra, and you set me up.”

He clenched his jaw but remained silent. You were a smart girl; if you had figured it out, there wouldn’t really be anything he could do to sway that opinion — you had been looking for reasons to have him since day one.

“I heard you “Yes, Officer?” like a respectful saint, when we both know you’re far from it.”

So that’s how you had heard.

“Stop speaking,” he warned.

“A hero, selfless, as if you aren’t the most selfish bastard in the world; you’re bad man, James.”

He wanted to grip your throat, choke you until you nearly passed out and then maybe fuck your limp body on the floor. But he didn’t, instead, he took a deep breath, and met your eyes, keeping his gaze as calm as possible, “You don’t really think that.”

“Oh, but I do,” you responded, a disbelieving smile slowly spreading across your face at the sheer nerve of this man, “You’re a bad man.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m crazy?!” you screamed as him, “I’m craz- Which one of us is keeping a woman captive? You’re delusional, James, you’re a sick fuck. Which one of us is a murderer—”

He wrapped his right hand around your throat and slammed your head against the headboard, his grip tightening by the second, more than you thought was possible, completely cutting off any type of circulation, it felt. Instinctively you tried to claw at him, but obviously your restraints prevented you from protecting yourself. Before you could start flailing your legs, a cold, hard, metal punch landed to your upper cheeks, and your head barely bobbed to the side what with his tight grip. Two, three, four punches more and he harshly tugged you forward toward him, your shoulders threatening to pop out of their sockets as your wrists remained behind. His anger was palpable, pulsing off him like music out of loud speakers and hitting you in waves.

He spoke in a gravelly voice with a calm tone, “Stop. Speaking.”

At least that’s what you thought he said, but you were starting to lose consciousness, his voice becoming fainter and your vision going blurry. You cheek hurt from the harsh metal blows and your shoulders hurt from being near dislocation and your lungs hurt from a lack of oxygen, but that all dulled as did the world, black slowly creeping up in your peripheral, and just as you were about to sink into unconsciousness, he practically threw your head right back against the headboard causing you to groan while simultaneously trying to gasp for sweet oxygen, oh lord; you still somehow felt as if you were being choked, like his hold still lingered as pale skin under your bikini would after a tanning session.

He just watched you as you tried to pull yourself together, body hurting, face hurting, and heart hurting; he had set you up and you had run right into his arms, being enclosed in the cage of his care.

You couldn’t even get on your hands and knees to better gasp as that annoying ass rope reminded you of your fate every time you tried to control the narrative.

James just watched you, face expressionless, eyes unreadable as you tried to search his oceans; usually you could feel the anger or regret after he hurt you, but now he was just blank, and that scared you, not knowing what he was thinking, what he would do next.

You wanted to scream at him, but your voice was still much too hoarse from the asphyxiation, and, if you were being smart, you wouldn’t tick him off any further.

“I thought you were being good but looks like I was wrong. I’ve been very patient with you, doll. Aw, what, gonna cry?” the faux pity dripped like acid from his tone, burning through you, and the stinging pain causing more tears to fall on top of the ones you hadn’t even noticed streaming.

You had the feeling he was becoming not only impatient, but sadistic as his eyes glinted with a sick joy, causing your stomach to churn.

He tugged you back toward him and licked a strip from you chin up your cheek, lapping up tears as you tried not to cringe at the action. He pulled back with a wicked smile and you retuned it with a sneer, your breathing still heavy, not quite adjusted.

“Let me tell you something, doll,” he said pulling up a chair from next to his dresser and settling into it at your side like he was a parent telling a bedtime story, “You’re it for me; this is your life now, our life now, and baby that’s something you gotta accept before things get out of control.”

How could anything get more out of control than having you investigated for murder and then not only keeping you captive, but being physically abusive in the process.

“I’ve protected you, that’s all I’ve ever done, all this, it’s so you’re safe with me. Because,” he leaned in, baritone voice dropping several octaves, “Who’s more dangerous than me?”

You gulped. He was right; he was one of the most dangerous people on the planet, so not much worse could happen to you under his control. That didn’t make any of what he was doing okay, no, far from it, you wanted to scream in his. He was painting this illusion of him being the most dangerous, and therefore he had to be the most fierce protector, but he wasn’t protecting you from anything; he was the biggest threat to your safety, and he proved that, like, three times, maybe more, times now, but he was acting like the hero.

Safe from what?

Corrupt, delusional, dangerous this man was, yet here he sat before you with a soft expression, even softer eyes, cooing you to believe his words, that he was your protector, when he was the exact opposite; he was your abuser and kidnapper, claiming this deep connection between you two when you barely knew each other, but you were scared; would he tell the cops you were with him? Who were they going to believe; an Avenger or a random lady who worked at a small bar? A nobody, you were, and he was one of the most powerful men in the country, in the world, and not just by physical strength. It would be impossible to go up against him, your only hope was to just get away from him. But that wasn’t happening anytime soon.

You were starting to get desperate; you thought if you just played along, pretended for a while, that he’d loosen up and you could slip through his fingers, but it had only been two days! Yet you were still sure you couldn’t take it much longer. You anger clashed with his, and he was getting more and more violent during the short period he had you, and you were sure at this rate, he’d accidentally kill you in a week’s time.

Breathing slowing down, you tried to speak calmly, your voice barely a whisper, “I’m scared.”

Jumping right into being submissive probably wouldn’t work; he’d grow too suspicious, know you’re planning something and maybe become harsher with his tactics. Your only hope was to try to control your outburst, and maybe slowly coax him into believing he had gotten through to you. How long that would take you weren’t sure, but you just hoped it would be over as soon as possible, and this plan, as long as it may take, seemed like your best option.

“I won’t hurt you unless you give me a reason to,” he replied, raising his hand to cup your face and brushing his thumb up and down your cheek, “Just be good for me.”

Be good, he said, as if he wasn’t a bad man himself, but wanting you to be good for him. He thought he was a good person, oh! Would not being good to a bad person be being bad, by his definition of good.

“I’m sorry, it’s just all new and I need time,” you responded, hoping you weren’t coming off too heavy. You thought you saw him narrow his eyes, but maybe that was just a trick of anxiety, for in less than a blink the corners of his blue eyes were crinkled and a smile was on display.

Erratic, it felt like both of you were, and you were certain you would clash the more time you spent here until the blow sent one of you flying — it was probably going to be you. But, deep breaths, baby steps, one day at a time, and this could end peacefully, or at least quietly. Maybe you’d have to spend the rest of your life constantly looking over your shoulder, but you tried to stay optimistic; you would come out of this stronger, and a more resilient woman, and if you could survive this, you could survive anything — and you would survive this.

End Of Officer.

✪

Next Chapter: Gauze

taglist; @cjand10