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the way harding goes in so aggro on lucanis right off the bat (lmao I love you too harding it's good to know you always have my back❤️️I am trying to score here tho sooo pls don't actually shoot him maybe?) and then fairly quickly she's clearly like '...oh no he's like. sad sad huh :(' hfhaskjfa. one (1) nice solid sensible fereldan girl saddled with the burden of having to rep the southern attitude towards spirits in a sea of mourn watchers and other assorted freaks and doing her damn best to be firm but fair even so. I love these two so much tho, the way their friendship develops is everything. he makes her a guard in his mind because he trusts that she would never let anything out that could hurt someone he loves, he knows she WOULD use the arrow. and she knows it wouldn't even be his fault if she had to..... the early phase here is such a mutual state of 'you know what. that's incredibly fucked up and also incredibly sweet'
#has anyone ever delivered an overt death threat with such adorable girl next door swag yet full intention of following through#has anyone received an overt death threat with such an air of 'awww. thanks. I really appreciate that. go for center mass btw#there'd probably be no time to focus in on a headshot. also it could get kind of messy with the explosive arrow thing' energy#Them.#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#lace harding#a bit disappointed he didn't have anything to say after she died in my playthrough but also very in character#if he couldn't bring himself to say anything yet. it's just going to be rye and lucanis being real sad about harding for a while#but at least being sad together which is a HUGE development for both of them great stuff lol#I got the coffee people pleaser convo and harding's loyalty quest back to back in my first playthrough so it was just like.#the bonding play session of all time between all three of them rook harding and lucanis creating some bonds that can never be broken#even if. ouch ow aaaaaaah argh. and so on and so forth. haunted by where i know I'm headed forever now
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Netero, from Japanese anime HxH, looking like the literal devil while nuking a man that tried to dialogue with him: you understand nothing of humanity’s infinite potential for malice!
Random reactor in YouTube: Netero was right, this was 100% necessary.
#hxh#Hunter x hunter#netero#meruem#meruem hxh#Netero hxh#mine#*shakes everyone* did you not watch our king go through immense character development#and try to dialogue w him even after getting attacked twice#*thrice technically#*shakes everyone* I do not think the guy from a country that was nuked twice portraying Netero as the devil thought he was right
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Lloyd, s1-7: his father yearned to make the world in his image and didn't realize he already had in Lloyd,, :'(
Lloyd, s8-16 (Crystalized): "I am nothing like my father!" :((((((((((((((
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago fandom#ninjago textpost#lloyd garmadon#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd ninjago#ninjago lloyd#ninjago lloyd garmadon#lloyd garmadon ninjago#i wantt o cryyy. as someone who has a not so pleasant last with their dad. i feel the pain of that development.#though tbf i do blame hrumi for what he went through. bc it is her fault after all#.. but it hurts. god it hurts to go back to s1/2 and see how much garm cared abt him.#and to now have that same character but he doesnt even care abt lloyd in most instances (like some scenes near the end of crystalized)#this is so destroying for me bc of smth that happened to me with my dad
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Guess who :3c (Patreon)
#My art#Webkinz#Diamond#Ukadevlog#Ghostkinz#Ta-dah! My November behind-the-scenes project was this! The poll was for this reason! Though I already knew I'd start with her haha#Have a little preview to start us off - I have Lots of thoughts to each part of development I ended up in but I want to roll them out slowly#Not everything all at once anyway haha - thoughts get all jumbled now that I'm on this side of things pft#I wasn't able to finish A Version I'd be willing to publish in just a month - even then I only worked on Ghostkinz about 3 days a week so#But for the time I spent I'm quite pleased with how its shaped up so far! :D I got to implement a lot!#Actually learning-then-implementing-then-learning-then-implementing - it's a loop I've been out of for such a long time now :0#Really interesting to fall back into after so long away haha#A lot of my other projects have been Pick Up One Thing and then do that forever and I was tired-tired of that!!#So going into this project knowing that I'd only have November to Get Guud at as much of it as possible and then that was it#I think it helped propel me - didn't end with me getting stuck on Perfecting Just This One Thing#I'd read a bit and then go utilize it and then come back and read some more of Zarla's template/walkthrough - compelling system!#I still couldn't manage to actually finish in a month but I got up to Phase 4!! Previous attempts at Ghost-making has gotten stalled at 1!!#Maaaybe 2 but never anything beyond that - and while I didn't actually Finish any Phase apart from 1 I still read through much much more!#On top of the learning aspect being fun ♪ getting to understand some of the more technical side ahh - it was also just fun to read haha#Like a course that can be silly hehe ♫ Enjoyable even outside of getting to make a little guy for my screen haha#But also yes that too!! I'm really glad I finally settled on an idea that I feel confident in seeing through#The best part about reaching for the Webkinz style is that Webkinz uses vectors - I've gone on record multiple times as loving vectors#They're an exceptionally easy medium to manipulate and that was The Thing that had been holding me back from committing to Ghosts prior#Drawing every single thing when I already struggle to plug in my tablet...no...... But Vectors#You can see here that Diamond's expressions are just a matter of tilting her head and moving her tail - so so soooo simple with vectors#Being able to super-quickly put out a lot of different expressions and animations and piecemeal everything together...yes..........#And for what further I have in mind :3c It's really all I could ask for in an art style to seek ah ♪ Just right for my purposes!#I thought it'd be nice to show off Diamond-for-real as her plush next to her digital version as well :D She's still the only OG8 I have#I want more!! I'd love to have a code for her as well haha - secretly just started this so I can have a digital Diamond lol#Plush-Diamond actually wears a necklace these days but I opted to leave it off her for the photoshoot - maybe once I figure out clothes haha
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I think if you convinced Astarion not to ascend, he’s there for the Haarlep encounter, and you fail the CON check (push Haarlep away), he should lose his cool and fire an arrow at Haarlep or something and interrupt Haarlep’s magic, giving you another chance to fight instead. I do think the sex abuse survivor witnessing his friend or lover being coerced into sex would notice when they want to escape and would have something to say about it.
#it’s wild how all of your party members stand there and watch this unfold in silence#baldur's gate 3#bg3#it’s so uncomfortable and humiliating#i couldn’t handle it i had to reload my save and go the fighting route instead#i had lae’zel and shadowheart with me. and i get how they could ig bear this in stoney-faced silence#but i had astarion with me too. and i just do Not believe he’d watch this in silence#not after you’ve helped free him from a life of abuse slavery and noncon#he should protest more than ‘are you sure we can trust [haarlep]’#or maybe even offer to take your/tav’s place#it wouldn’t work of course. haarlep would insist on tav#but it would further show his char development since act 1 and how much he’s grown to care about you/tav#that he’s willing to put himself through that again so you don’t have to#i mean#I’m not the only one who sees parallels between cazador and haarlep#AND astarion and haarlep#right#I’m not the only one who thinks haarlep would Really Bother astarion. right#I’ve heard astarion is sympathetic (the only companion who is) if you lose/surrender your body#but i just think he should also be the one who’s like hey let’s Not let our friend be taken advantage of like this
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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I'm not scared of having surgery and I'm not worried about any post-op pain. I already had this surgery and I'm already in pain and have been for the last decade. I'm scared because I found out the last ten years shouldn't have been full of so much physical pain. I'm scared that I'm going to go through all of this just to continue to be in pain.
Well-meaning people are nice when they show concern but it's always about the post-op pain. The worrying part is much more personal and in regards to pain I'll at least be able to rest. I'm overwhelmed.
#{domino rambles after dark}#was the first surgery still worth it even if it failed and resulted in the last decade? yes because i would have been paralyzed#but it was easier to accept being in pain when i thought “yeah i just have permanent nerve damage and degenerative disc disease”#now i'm just angry that no one fucking listened to me#and while i believe i have doctors that will actually monitor the success of this procedure...#i'm just nervous of how much post-op pain is going to be temporary and how much i'm actually going to live with for the rest of my life#it's a realistic concern and i have just two more days#my coworkers are planning to do something nice and people will be wishing me luck and all that#it's not really fair that they care about me and are actually thinking about me like wtf guys ;-; that's so nice#anyway i'm making this post because i can't stop thinking about this and i just want to sleep but the pain is a bit much#being basically offline by pure choice has been really nice though ngl#idk what it is but right now there's something emotionally taxing about scrolling tumblr or overwhelming maybe?#i'm going through another character development phase and if this surgery doesn't yeild good results then idfk honestly
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Might be a hot take but a major character’s death is really only as good as the weight and the treatment that the narrative gives it. Sure, any author has the ability to write death as they see fit. But whether the consumer (of any given form of media) is actually able to emotionally connect and resonate with the departure of someone who has occupied a good chunk of narrative space very heavily depends on how it’s treated within the story. If it’s a major character, the narrative needs enough built-in breathing space. As in, the consumer doesn’t have to fill in the blanks as to how the death impacted the plot or the remaining characters. Let the narrative do that for them, and that would actually allow the consumer to better react and relate to that major death (sadness, anger, joy, etc). Allow the rest of the characters (who were impacted by the deceased) to react to their parting. Let them engage with the death in a manner that helps justify the character’s inclusion in the narrative to begin with. Make it clear how the character’s life and (especially) their death relate to the larger themes of the story. Because most consumers aren’t stupid. We don’t want our hands held at every waking moment, but we also don’t want our investment in a story to be insulted just for the sake of a cheap shock. Give us time to breathe and grieve. And respect that we have put in a lot of emotional investment in a story and its characters, and we deserve to have that acknowledged.
#recent developments in a very popular ip have forced me to think about how creators treat the deaths of major or main characters#and the discourse of ~ohh we don’t need to see every single thing~ has got me thinking#like sure we don’t need to be spoon fed everything but consumers have varying emotional investments depending on the characters#a side character it’s passable if we don’t get any fanfare but a MAIN???#we’ve invested so much into their journey and the themes in their arcs and how they affect the world around them#is it too bad to want that to be actually acknowledged by & within the narrative?#so that whole thing got me to think about main characters whose deaths were well done in fiction#ned stark imo is a really good one because the immediate payoff of his death is the start of the wot5k and long term effect was#that the stark kids now had to fill in their father’s shoes and rise and become leaders in their own right and while we still have twow an#ados we can also tell as shown in adwd that the long term effect of Ned’s legacy is that house stark will be preserved even when it’s on th#brink of extinction#so that’s a well done imo because we also see throughout 4 books just how much his death meant to the kids#his death hurts because we see how his kids are hurting - jon arya sansa bran are GOING THROUGH IT AND IT HURTS!#I’d argue MCU did a pretty good job of showing tony’s everlasting legacy after his death and they did that through Peter who was the proteg#we can love and grieve for tony though peter whom we love and have come to relate to so Tony’s death has a lot of narrative weight#and how it’s handled is satisfying even though we’re hurt that he’s gone#same with sirius and dumbledore in HP - sirius’ especially hits sooo hard because Harry goes absolutely apeshit in ootp and then has to#pick up the pieces in hbp + dumbledore’s life and death is given quite a good amount of narrative space for both harry and the reader#the recent developments in jjk have me worried that a certain someone’s departure won’t be given the narrative weight it deserves#and part of that is gege’s pacing being wonky because oops it’s another big fight that will take god knows how many chapters idk#I’ll wait and see but as of right now….i feel like fan complaints about it shouldn’t be brushed aside because they’re super valid 😕#asoiaf#harry potter#jujutsu kaisen#mcu#marvel#comics#manga
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Me reading a cool new novel: hah wow this is cool it has a neat premise and a promising plot line let’s see our protagonist level up and learn how to use his new power in interesting and cool ways—
*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and defeats her
*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and impresses her
*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and rescues her
*MC meets a beautiful powerful girl and defeats her PT 2
Me: Ah nvm it’s a harem novel god damn it
#it was cool at first but now I’m grinding my teeth like wtf#I was okay with it at first bc like. he defeats the beautiful cold hearted prodigy by a hairs breadth and we get this sad backstory for her#which could be better’d by the MC who doesn’t fear her and can teach her how to socialize and become a brighter happier person through their#developing friendship and potentially romantic relationship and it could have led to character development for both of them as they struggle#through the feeling of being cast aside as an ‘other’ by society and learning how to stumble through a relationship that involves#communication and admittance and honesty#something our MC and FL can’t get through their mentors#instead we get her genuine attempts at becoming friends being brushed off by him who assumes she’s going to eventually want a romantic#relationship by the end of it and ARGHHXHHD she’s a shy person!! she’s trying her best!!! you asshole!!!! and then the author has the#AUDACITY#to make her continue yearning after this guy who doesn’t give 2 shits about her and she’s only used as a support character for the#ensuing battle and then he promptly leaves her behind for his own adventure#and don’t even get me STARTED on the lack of compatibility with the other women in this story#they aren’t even being used as potential love interests they’re just there so the author can say he added strong female characters and then#IMMEDIATELY turns around and makes them fawn over this 19 yr guy who cAn pRoTeCt ThEM AnD HEs sO cOoL FUCK#I was holding out but now he just annoys me dude this is why I don’t like reading male lead perspectives if there’s a DROP of romance#it ruins it! romance is dead no one knows what chemistry is they only want to be fawned over by women to stroke their egos#not a reblog
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i caught up with gk when ogata was in his flop era after losing his eye and i was like ohhhh is he gonna have a jaime lannister arc, where he's gonna have to reconsider his entire life because he lost the one useful skill that defined him and gave him worth in his own perception. very interesting. but no. he just learnt to snipe with one eye. what did him in was the pre-existing mental illness
#i remember getting an anon after 310 dropped being like it's sooo sad that he had to answer for his vile deeds#so what if we imagined that he survived and learnt how to snipe with both eyes gone like toni <3#and it was honestly so hysterical because the redemption girlies just can't conceptualize this guy existing WITHOUT murdering people#like even completely incapacitated he needs to kill. he's so misunderstood and a victim otherwise tho#but also virgin jaime who had to go through character development or whatever because he lost his sword hand#vs chad ogata for learning how to snipe with one eye just to be able to keep being an olympic-level hater
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im rereading asunder and keep having to remind myself that all these characters have french accents fml
#well. most not all. but yknow#personal#da#im only skimming tbf im working on something that has me going through Everything#hopefully i can get through it all in one go. hopefully before the stream in less than 5 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im not that excited for it actually. im keen for the dav announcement and that's it. it had better be near the start#anyway. i rewatched redemption yesterday and idk why i had in my mind that it sucked#like it's not *good* but it wasnt as bad as id made it out to be since first watching it. it's just kinda *ok*#but it was a relief after spending the last week reading through talktables. god almighty im glad im done with that#i think when i get up to dai im gonna go through it in frosty#it's gonna take probably 2-3x as long as if i read the talktable. maybe even longer. but i wont lose my mind quite so much#weirdly the dao and dai talktables are about the same length (all dlc included for both) which always really surprises me#but i didnt read the full dao talktable. only for the dlc (and awakening was a CHORE). i read everything in the toolset#and i was able to do most of da2 using those spreadsheets i made of plots and conversations a few months ago. i knew those'd come in handy#the only time ive ever been glad da2 doesnt have item descriptions#ANYWAY. back to asunder. the start is interesting but rhys goes through like. anti-character development and i hate him by the end#obv that's still character development. i just really prefer when a character becomes better or at least doesnt become frustrating to read
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thinking about how the other day I felt happiness for the first time in a long time (like happiness about where I am at in life and joy for my future plans. Like I was working 8-4:30 and I was thinking about how I was going to do a few ubereats runs until 6ish after and then come home and get to write and crack open my kung fu binder again that I've been working with to prove to myself I'm ready to go back)
usually I just feel content at like a 5 sometimes if I go to a concert or whatever it can get up to 6,7,8. but that's it
and I have that persistent depression disorder. that i never remember how to spell.
So you can imagine my surprise when i genuinely just felt happy and at peace? And i had mania by fob album stuck in my head. life was good.
I then got sucker punched by my physical health symptoms that were really bad and almost collapsed and could not hold myself up so I was leaning on a cart not moving when it hit 4:30. And did not do anything that I planned to after work because of it.
BUT
the key is i felt happiness for the first time in forever.
#and the thing is I think it was because I finally decided it might be time for me to go back to kung fu after taking a year and a half off#because I quit because I couldn't get myself to go to lessons and then I also couldn't get myself to practice outside of class#PLUS at the time I had just started medication for my panic attacks had recently developed a tic disorder#and was working at a job that was slowly killing me#and I was really just trying to figure my shit out#(the last day I was really able to meaningfully attend was for my belt test that I passed but I had a massive panic midway through because#I had also started zoloft that day and it didn't occur to me taking a kung fu test designed to mimic a fight and breed endurance in a fight#aka get my heartrate up would be a bad idea with starting zoloft designed to slow my heart rate)#but the thing about kung fu is it was always something that brought so much joy and happiness#if I was struggling to get there I'd come home and be so energized and excited and happy#and I think I'm finally in a place where I can have it back? (idk juries still out on the health issues)#because I spent all of 2023 working on myself and my mental health and I quit my old job this past september#and I have a new job#plus a direction in life??? like I'm stage managering for some bands at a fest#and then later stage managering for a renn faire#while I'm working part time at target#and finally retail isn't my main gig (i used to be full time) but the side gig to take me where I want to go#And like recently I ran into someone from kung fu while I was working and they were so excited to see me#and I want to go back so bad because it's nice to know that she and a couple other people (she mentioned I was brought up recently) still#remember me and wonder where I went even a year and a half later
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i finished five broken blades
#and.....six of crows has yet to be topped#it's funny how every time a pair of unlikely people have to be paired up for a dangerous mission it's alwayssss compared to soc#and the comparison just never holds up#i am so baffled that this is an adult book bc the writing style was incredibly juvenile. very repetitive. a lot of telling not showing#six of crows had better character work By Far. i really felt who each of those characters were. and i felt how they bonded over time#in this book it was like. there's a bubbly quirky girl and the author's attempts at making her so made me cringe#it was very heavy handed#i could see what she wanted each character to be like but the execution was just not it#there was a part halfway through after they all finally met up where something happened and they had to work together to save someone#and in each character's pov it was just like 'they'd killed and lied for each other' 'they were family beyond blood'#and i was like ??? that's it???? idk i never felt them growing closer to each other. it's like the author relied more on telling us rather#than showing it#and then the romance..... don't get me started on the romance it was so poorly done almost like insta-love???#there was just no time for the feelings to develop it happened so quickly#i wasn't impressed at all#and like. i guess my main problem is too much showing not enough telling#'i can't trust her' 'i can't trust him' 'no one around me can be trusted'#it was so repetitive like okay i get it!!! but i wanted to Feel it. i wanted to feel the messiness and ugliness of this distrust#'we killed and bled for one another'👍🆗#when they all met with each other halfway through i got excited like yessss it's going to be ugly and nasty now i need them to be Messy#esp since this is an adult book i was really looking forward to new levels of debauchery but it was So tame and vanilla????#sure they killed people but nothing was even remotely close to the level of when kaz plucked out that guy's eyeball :(#that was vicious. we all still remember that. i expected that in this book but no....#can't believe six of crows is ya and it's superior to this supposedly adult book#let me list the good things though. it ws a super fast read at 500 pages#and i had no problem distinguishing the 6 povs from each other#and the climax was thrilling my heart pounded all throughout
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I think my tastes must just vary wildly from most people's, but I feel like the last several fanfics I've read have gone on for five or six chapters too many. I'll take an open-ended happy ending over wading through 15k+ words of a dense cloud of cotton candy overly sweet denouement in which every aspect of their perfect life together is explained in excruciating detail, and pet-names and 'I love you's are exchanged every other paragraph
#also. like. getting married and living happily ever after doesn't mean having no problems at all#there's always problems. the point is that you face them TOGETHER. stories about people with no problems are boring#idk I just feel like reading 100k+ words of really great plot and character development#only to faceplant into the literary equivalent of a vat of high fructose corn syrup for the last 15k+ words#really doesn't feel true to the rest of the story that came before it#it's also a huge contributor to why I leave so few comments these days#I don't want to comment chapter by chapter as I go along and then suddenly stop commenting when I get to the saccharine ending#and by the time I've waded through all that corny sweet syrup I don't particularly feel like commenting anymore#so the fics that I comment on are the ones that stick the landing. and sadly that feels like such a small percentage#whereas I'll leave kudos if I read all the way to the end even if there were things I didn't like about it#Jack suggested maybe I should just stop reading when it feels like I've reached the equivalent of an open-ended happy ending#and just leave a comment then about how much I liked the actual plot. then just walk away and leave the sugar rush for those who like it#and he's probably right tbh. I'll have to try that in the future#honestly this might also just be me transitioning out of my reading phase and into a writing phase instead#when other people's writing starts to piss me off it's time to get back to writing the stuff I actually want to read lol#tagtalking#fanfiction#fandom life#writing#2024 mood#about me
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I have to put fresh sheets on my bed and make it but I've just been sitting on my bare mattress for the last 20 mins ranting to myself about this damn show
#again rewatching this with a developed adult brain is CRAZY#and I'm catching so many things I didn't notice before#and it's making everything feel even more !!! than the first time I watched the show#like!!!!like!!! somehow I never caught onto how such a strong part of flint's grief comes from the fact that he didn't try and rescue Thomas#and how his actions led to all of this happening in the first place#he could have sided against Thomas with his father. and they never would've had any of the mess that came with angering Dad#but that just wasn't possible to him anymore#because of what he felt for Thomas he had to defend his ideals. the ones they shared#and after all that. KNOWING that HE was partly responsible for what happened to Thomas!! just how painful it is that he walked away.#and fled to Nassau. and didn't do anything to try and help Thomas#like!!! the GUILT that must cause!!! the ANGUISH!!! no WONDER he's Like That Jesus Christ#and like!!! oh my GOD Toby Stephen's acting is outstanding in this#the way you could feel the palpable shift right after flint hugs Miranda. while Ashe is telling them how he can wisk them away to someplace#else in Europe. and james steps back!! you could see it in his EYES that that is the moment when Captain Flint starts to form#and you can hear it in his voice. the barely perceptible shift. that he reached his breaking point#also I completely forgot about the surprise Vane attack at the end of that episode and I nearly screamed#black sails#ALSO!!!!!! going through all of this with the knowledge that Miranda dies T^T and that Thomas is actually alive and they get reunited#is tearing my soul apart I think#these sheets may not be going on my bed tonight.....#black sails rewatch
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i feel like sometimes (many times) people get realism / "if this were to happen to a real person in the real world context, then this character would experience and grapple with x, y, z" mixed up with text / what that character is actually going through in the story which is always going to be constrained by time, space, and the creator's biases and experiences
#thinking abt lucas bc if he were not written by a team of white people then yes his character would be different and have so#much more depth and he would be experiencing and going through things that the others don't#but as it stands.... he's chilling. lol.#the only time he got depth was in his book that was written by a black male author.#and tbh i don't really think it's right or fair to dog on people for saying that he's chilling bc he just.... is? like the duffers have not#touched any of the topics they could have as it pertains to being a black boy in a majority white racist small midwestern town#and the one time they did they still didn't even really touch on it fr? like somehow it wasn't abt him... even though#he was the one being attacked for being black..... and then we just never touched on that again lol#he went through all that scary ass supernatural AND real life racism shit and we don't see him struggle after#not like we see some white characters struggle#so no i don't think someone is being racist by just pointing out what's on screen. in real life shit would be mad different#but it's not real life. and what is written is so limited because this is a black character written by white people.#and tbh it applies to so much other stuff but tht jus popped into my mind like there's nothing wrong with adding to the text#but that shouldn't be confused with actually being textual..... u feel me?#and at the end he's not really chilling bc he literally almost died n had a gun pulled on him but other than that he's usually#the one chilling bc he's every other (white) character's fixer-upper. he's always the support character to help them#and advance their plots and development :/
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