#even a decade ago wasnt quite this much

[cainite-bite]

it really gets me watching some of the old modeling shows because what got to be touted as an “out their high effort glam” look is now a look thats shilled as a very average look. Its gotten so far out their that it wouldnt even be considered glam by todays standards because we’ve just added so much more and so many more steps/products and I want to know why the fuck we’ve let the industry do this

[kindred-spirit-93]

EXAM HAS BEEN DELAYED!! till like sunday but still.

heres whats been in the works ft. the ocs that live in my head rent and royalty free. might post darkfic hilal content later tonight too >:)

Strangers in the night

he lied when he said he was going to the pharmacy. he had restocked bandages and antiseptic ages ago and probably wouldnt need to set foot in one for at least a decade to come. he just needed to breathe.

it had maybe started around dinner, a sudden feeling of suffocation like someone was holding a pillow to his face. and slight indigestion. armund had out done himself this time and he was quite proud. he didnt dare mention it lest he think he had somehow messed up.

excusing himself he grabbed something off the rack by the door and left without another word. he cursed himself for it afterwards due to the piercing cold and light fabric of his rain coat.

he hated lying to his dove, which was ironic because he couldnt recall a time he hadnt told him some sort of falsehood, so he took a path that lead to the pharmacy to get it off his conscious. it wasnt much, but it was the small things that seemed to matter the most. very annoying.

he took a long hard look at the neon lights, as if proving to himself that he had been completely honest and not at all lying to his son. nope, not at all. he was an upstanding citizen of which the nasty streets of these parts never saw. he frowned a little. he was a good person at heart. if i had one he thought glumly. have. had. was there a difference?

was it his fault he had become what he now was? tearing away his eyes from the lights he resumed his walk at a somewhat brisk pace. whatever had lodged itself in his throat earlier that evening was indeed remedied by the fresh air. it was quite sharp when he opened the door. better head back before i catch something a small voice in his head suggested unconvincingly.

his feet however didnt oblige and continued down a path less illuminated. luc didnt realise he had strayed away from the well lit street he was on until much later. his frown deepened. how did he get here? was i that deep in my head? looking around he didnt recognise where he was. the lack of lighting was unsetteling but not anything he wasnt used to.

the dark was an ally of his you see. in the shadows lurk all that we cannot, or wish not, to comprehend and face. it was quite poetic almost to think that his namesake was once a being of light, shunned to the dark. and the dark welcomed him. made him their leader. living under his reign of terror as beings of the night. night. night...

it was late. they had a late night dinner and it was late. worse it was new years eve and all sorts of shady people roam these streets looking for some weak creature to set their fangs in at the best of times, tonight drunken scuffles would break out and the last thing he needed was another gunshot anywhere on his being.

theo hated seeing him hurt he thought softly. he hadnt noticed the light rain that began to fall. he was too busy thinking of his little dove waiting for him at home. home. it was home was it not where one was with loved ones was it not? he blinked. had armund spiked the food with something? what was all this sentimentality? disgusting.

he was going soft at his old age he joked to himself, features easing as he recognised the familiar sign of a deli around the corner of his home. it could barely be called one if he was honest. nothing about it was cosy or inviting, save maybe the blankets he and theo would huddle underneath when he was younger. the corners of his mouth twitched this time and he allowed himself a small smile.

his throat threatened to close once more for mysterious reasons when he suddenly found himself face to face with the wet cobblestone of the road. he barely had a second to register what had happened before he heard bullets being fired. fuck.

just what he was missing on this fine evening. he never left the house without a knife on him, a small one he hid in a holster theo had drawn a flower on, but todays romantic stroll under the rain wasnt planned. for some reason he was unable to flip himself on his back. tasting iron he raised his head slightly and stared at the river of red pooling around him.

if it was the adrenaline, the blood loss, or something entirely different hed never know, but it took him embarassingly long to realise that no one had spilled wine on the pavement, and that in fact it was his own blood staining the ground beneath him. when he did manage to get himself back on his feet he was knocked back down though this time he was on his back. and if he didnt know better hed say a vampire had tackled him to the ground.

the clarity was slowly but surely returning to him. his left shoulder was now starting to burn and he could feel his blood vessels make up for their fallen brethren, and the feel of the cold hard ground beneath him was starting to get on his nerves. scowling at the figure hovering on top of him, he wriggled and tried to assess his situation. the call of his name, his birth name, made the air in his lungs momentarily leave. then the life force slowly seeping out of him crashed right back in and with a vengenace.

his neck snapped to glare at the stranger who fittingly winced under the hellish gaze of hell on earths leader. the fuckwad wasnt even pinning him down properly. what is wrong with people these days? had they no dignity? pulling himself out of his thoughts, he kicked the stranger in the groin with as much force as he could muster and lost no time pulling his knees to his chest and shoving him off while he gasped in shock and pain. the idiot then did nothing. nothing.

now on his knees, panting from the sudden burst of exertion, and slightly light headed, luc snapped of his necklace and pressed to the offenders neck. it was an inverted cross, metal but not sharp enough to do enough harm, but they didnt know that. he knew more than anyone that confidence was very convincing, what with his line of work. and he can be very persuasive.

he was now able to get a better look at his would be murderer or whatever if he wasnt such a fucking pathetic excuse of a human being. he wasnt even trying. he wasnt even trying. what the fuck?! in any case the fucker who had long dark hair wet with a mixture of sweat and rain was unnervingly still despite lucs hand being around his throat while the other was slowly digging with the cross into the pale flesh of his skin.

luc couldnt shake of the feeling that this was somehow familiar to him. the strangers face was facing away from him so he couldnt exactly make out his features, but he was clearly much taller and stronger than him; he was pinning him down with a knee pressed into his shoulder and the other squarely above his heart. he meant to ask who the fuck he was and what he wanted, the whole nine yards, but the words died in his throat. he knew he didnt have much left before his left arm gave out. he could avoid hypovolemia only so many times.

he pressed the metal further into the assailants neck to force himself to stay conscious till he drew blood. and then he chuckled. the audacity. luc would be lying if he said he wasnt starting to feel on edge. fuckass was laughing at him and his heart was pounding in his ears still. tonight wasnt going to end well.

"fuck you" was the only thing luc managed. short and sweet. he made sure to spit it with as much venom he could. and the dark haired stranger let out another chuckle.

"if you wanted me dead you would have killed me already. whats the hold up?" well he wasnt wrong he thought, seething. the faster he got rid of the dipshit the better, but he still didnt figure out who he was or how he knew his name. could this all be a very very badly times coencidence and nothing more? stranger things have happened.

his thoughts were ricocheting off of each other and his head was filling with useless shit. what the hell was wrong with him tonight? and the smirk. bastard. the smirk was making whatever blood still in his system boil. finally, what seemed to be an eternity later, tall dark and fucking incompetent craned his neck and turned to look at luc

"havent you recognised me yet old man?" dick. i still had no idea who he was, but my subconscious was starting to put 2 and 2 together.

"were the same age fuckass." any moment now i could feel it. on the tip of my tongue. come on. so close

"i wear it better." he grinned and something in my chest stopped, skipped a beat, and dropped all together. how? when? why? who?

lucs eyes widened, and the strangers grin broadened. "missed me?" he asked. the fucking nerve on this man was unreal. old habits die hard i suppose. good thing too. he could no longer keep his eyes open.

falling to the cold ground for the third time that same evening, luc never felt so ridiculous in his life. there was no fucking way in fucking hell his unspoken dying words were going to be the name of his ex.

frankly he couldnt come up with something more pathetic if he tried. if this was it he was going cursing him till his ears bled from the profanities. there was no gracious way to go about bleeding out in your exs arms. he was cornered. fuck.

despite everything he called out to him. barely above a whisper. the reply was somehow even quieter, but to his own ears it could be heard on the other side of the country.

"right here".

a last stupid thought crossed his mind. biting his lip luc muttered something that made titi snort and bonk his head with his own. smiling slightly, he knew hed be fine. he closed his eyes.

"thats what you said."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

heres a mercy doodle to make up for my atrocious everything <3

will picked her the flower :')

all rights reserved to @sunshines-child lol. serotonin is one hell of a drug lemme tell u

i got sidetracked like 17 times writing this. like it was supposed to be 2 paragraphs but my brain was like lol nope. gotta set the scene. jerk

also, not proofread. i have no idea if the tenses and pronouns make any sense. rip my last braincell. idk its whatever. for the wiggles :D

also also, this is not at all what i had in mind. purely off the top of my head. w i l d.

[elles-home]

i think if sanji and yamato took a moment they could be fast friends bonding especially so on fucked up dads and even more fucked up childhoods

they get so close in wano, after the battles and in that short period before they disembark from the land of wano. everyone thinks they're dating because sanji makes an extra set of snacks and drinks when he seeks yamato out for their late night talks and sanji only makes special snacks for girls and people he has crushes on (and luffy but that's something else entirely)

nami and usopp try to figure out if they're dating but she's so skeptical (nami, who finds sanji's flirting cringe even though she humors it endearingly: sanji? pull yamato? be serious, usopp. vs usopp, who has been on the other end of sanji's kindness and can see how charming he can be when he's not twirling: hey, you don't know what he's capable of. there's many attractive things about him. (that makes nami squint her eyes at usopp so he shuts up. immediately))

but when they find yamato and sanji its the both of them exchanging stories on who had the worst dad. "at least you could breathe," sanji says. "my sperm donor put a metal helmet on my face when i was eight because he didn't wanna see me anymore, announced i was dead to the country and threw me in jail."

yamato, equally outraged, "my dad threw me in jail when i was eight too! with other prisoners of war! i thought they were gonna kill me! one plate of food for the whole lot of us"

they both look at each other, and burst out laughing, at the sheer ridiculousness of it. they have to laugh. it hurts too much if they don't. sanji was able to escape long ago but his recent stint in whole cake island has brought memories he left in a life he abandoned back to the surface, and he feels a bit more brittle these days. more than he had had in over a decade.

smiling softly at a memory himself, yamato offers, "it was scary at first, and my hands were bound. but the prisoners. they were so kind, and helped me escape."

"i've gone hungry before, starvation and at the edge of death. but when i look back, i wonder if i would have preferred one meal and a group of samurai for company, who i did not know would be kind to me, or solitary confinement for months at end." sanji takes another drink. "but i wasnt starved in the dungeons. they still fed me." here he pauses, thinks, and adds as an afterthought. "i think you may have been safer with your samurai than i was there alone. my brothers came down regularly and beat me up, experimenting in new ways to discover just how fragile my human skin and my human bones were."

and now nami was there in whole cake island, she knows sanji's bio family are all bastards and they only let them live because sanji wanted to. but she hadn't known just how bad it was for him. and this is usopp's first time hearing this, and brave as he may be, as he is trying to be, he has always had a soft heart. nami hears a sniffle and sees tears streaming down usopp's face. nami blinks as tears she hadn't known were gathering fall down her own, and holds usopp's hand and leads him away. this isn't a conversation they are meant to hear.

sanji smiles when they leave and yamato grins too. they knew they were there, of course they did. sanji's observation haki may not be able as developed as luffy's, incapable of foresight yet, but he can tell when there are people around.

"they care about you so much, you know?" yamato says.

"i do," sanji smiles. "they could be yours too, if you come with us."

yamato takes a moment. "i know." and he sounds so sad but also determined. "i believe its best if i stay here right now. momo may be in a grown body, but he's still a child. and it would make me happy to be able to discover the country oden loved so much. all those years in onigashima, so near, and i've been unable to truly explore the home i call mine."

"whenever you want," sanji says, "luffy will welcome you i'm sure."

"so he's said."

and they're quite for a while. watching the campfire they built for a while.

"he reminds me of ace so much," yamato says softly.

"ace?"

"i think he was to me what luffy is to you. he would've set me free if he could've. he's so free, and i don't think i've ever laughed as much as the night i had with him."

sanji, familiar with ace, the way he lit up any room he was in, the charm he oozed and the easy smiles he had, says. "i know what you mean. the time he travelled with us was one of the best weeks ever. we were so surprised such a well mannered man could be luffy's brother."

and yamato laughs. because the ace he met immediately tried to kill him.

but sanji knows the sparkle in yamato's eyes, and so he starts explaining how they met ace. burning ships and travelling together in a desert. and when yamato laughs next, it's filled with love and joy and grief. not the kind of laughing you do to hide how much your heart hurts over the childhoods you had. and so sanji talks and talks about ace, informs him of their other brother sabo. the one he is yet to meet, but have heard stories of. he hopes yamato meets the other brother one day, the second in command of the fucking revolutionary army. the one who now holds ace's mera mera fruit powers.

yamato deserves nice things. he's learning he does too.

[hishighnesstheprincess]

MY HATER POST

literally made a hater post just to talk about stuff in the sonic series that I dont like ❤️ if you don't like this post then fuck you block and/or blow me. this is disorganized as fuck btw and i dont care

sonic frontiers was the best mainline sonic game in over a decade but thats really not saying much

i think tangle is kinda boring and whispangle is kinda boring by proxy. whispers cool tho

surge is the best rival sonic character since blaze and the only thing dragging her down is that sonic in the idw comics kinda sucks as a character

its great that we are getting more female characters in idw and the games but quite a lot of them are kinda boring and we still need more female villains

metal sonic is basically nothing but a jobber in idw rn and its really depressing

idw please treat the babylon rogues better, theyre goofy characters with serious storylines just like basically every other sonic character, stop making them NOTHING but a joke

lanolin is an interesting character, yall just cant handle women who are even SLIGHTLY rude to a fan favorite character

the worst part of idw is that its tied to game canon because they cant shake up the status quo too much or have character arcs for most of the main characters

rouge is ABSOLUTELY a sexualized character and always has been. learn to like a character despite the faults in how they are portrayed or shut up about it

sally was the best canon romantic partner for sonic and you cant change my mind

the second worst part of idw is the titular character himself

i dislike surg/amy because of the age difference andalso the fact that everyone wants to disregard surges character to have her be redeemed

if sega is going to keep teasing son/amy then they should just stop dancing around it and make them canon already, make the shippers happy and get the drawn out agony over with for the rest of us. also age amy up for the love of allthat is holy

also, sega should stop ship teasing ships they have no intention of making canon in general, its shitty and edges into queerbaiting when done with gay ships

the above does not apply to whispangle

idw art is overall much much MUCH better than any other sonic comic and its not even a contest

there are a lot of things i disagree with about the current state and direction of this franchise but we are in a much better place than we were even just two years ago and we should be glad for all this success

the worst parts of archie are the most atrocious things that this franchise has ever put out, in art, storytelling, basic morality, etc.

most of the popular ships in this fandom suck ass

unless sega stops rushing sonic team and actually gives some resources to them we are never going to get better than 7/10 games. corporations are not your friends and you dont have to thank them for giving you a mid product

sega should have been sued into oblivion for the literal seizure inducing state sonic colors ultimate was released in and we should never, ever let them forget it

remain skeptical about every single sonic game until release, we've had "WERE SO BACK" moments before that turned out to befalse

the edm in sonic frontiers cyberspace slaps but isnt as memorable as previous sonic soundtracks

stop ghosting sonics friends (sonic frontiers, sonic prime, sonic dream team) its kinda weird and puts way too much importance on sonic again. this is a good cast, USE THEM

sonic frontiers dlc being hard wasnt a bad thing, the jank, glitches, and lack of fairness were bad things that tarnished the experience

the games have never ever been properly translated from japanese into english and that is just an objective fact. but also dont shit on people for only having interest in the english version, you have to go WAY out of your way to get a good translation and that's on the franchise, not the fans

this franchise's "canon" has been fucked since the original classic games, trying to fix it in the sense that you can somehow make every little detail perfect is a lost cause. just pick and choose what you like

of all the characters that deserve a game to themselves blaze deserves it the most. girlie has a whole other dimension that we could explore can you IMAGINE an open world game in the sol dimension COME ON

if lots of people are criticizing something you like then you should give some consideration to the fact that they may have some points instead of just disregarding it as people being nitpicky and nasty. you dont have to listen to it but if you dont do that then you cant dismiss it out of hand either

the stories of sa1 and sa2 arent even the best stories in this franchise

06 sucks ass and no amount of "potential" means jackshit when it comes to actual quality. if we're just evaluating "potential" then congratulations everything ever made is a quality product have fun with that

its okay to games with goofier and lighthearted stories

team dark are just friends

i prefer amys hammer to the cards

let this franchise have its edge back. but also let sonic be cute. they arent mutually exclusive

keep good physics and momentum in the games for the love of god please its what this franchise was built on

sega of japan may do characterization better but the closest brushes to death that this franchise has ever had (Dreamcast, 06, Forces) were all on them as well

this might be the hottest take of all time but sonic team shares some of the blame in how a lot of sonic games turn out very bad, its not all on sega

stating that some sonic-inspired games (spark the electric jester and freedom planet) or sonic fan games (project 06) have turned out better than actual sonic games is kind of objectively correct but youre a dick if you say it just to make sonic fans feel bad about the games or themselves

if you ONLY consume sonic media you need to branch out more. for your own health please

flynn is neither the worst person to ever walk the surface of this planet or gods gift to the sonic fandom, practice some moderation in your opinions people

i think discourse is good, actually. except for when it harms people. and fictional characters do not count as people

sonic frontiers open world biomes are boring and nowhere close to most open world games, even ones from a decade ago

silver was never sonics rival

it would be nice if we could go back to having smaller games on handheld consoles coming out on a regular basis while mainline sonic games come out once every couple of years on a bigger scale and higher quality than weve been getting. and no locking games behind apple arcade PLEASE

sonic lost world isnt a terrible game or a good one. its just weird and boring

sonic riders was fun and its a travesty that it got downgraded into generic cart racing games

sonic unleashed daytime stages are the best boost stages in this entire franchise because they actually rely on quick decision making and reaction times instead of just smashing your way straight through the entire level with little to no effort

the werehog combat sucks ass and the fact that its super slow and super long and takes up like 75% of the time youre playing the game is why unleashed isnt peak. sorry

stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill STOP IT

a lot of fans of sonic do not understand what they are talking about and that includes me a LOT of the time

sonic himself cant just be whatever the writer wants him to be. the reason characters are characters is because they have certain character traits and you cant just change that without getting a different guy, im sorry

archiehad the worst moments but the sonic movies are the worst adaptation overall

the above will change if movie 3 kills off shadow or tom. then the worst adaptation will be underground

game sonic being a static character is cool, actually

sonic fandom is sexist as fuck and that includes the tumblr side of it

sage getting revived in a post credits scene was lame. give us more time before confirming shes alive

the sonic twitter takeovers are not canon. no, not even if you think a thing they said on it was funny

they should let female characters be naked (dont make this weird) and give the boy characters outfits sometimes

amy having a crush on sonic is totally fine but they took it WAAAAAYYYYYYYY too far at many, many points. i dont care if its funny amy threatening chris in x or intimidating cream in various games (battle, rush) was NEVER a good thing

rouges design does not need to be changed, it needs to be framed and posed in less sexual ways

rouges heroes and prime outfits sucked ngl like just from a color and design standpoint like theyre kinda ass and overcomplicated and an eyesore

if sega is gonna age the characters up they should actually go ahead and post the new ages on some official channel, dont just leave us in this horrible limbo where we have to argue with weirdos online about who youre morally okay to thirst over certain characters and whether a different voice counts as a character becoming an adult

the fact that the main official english sonic account only posts memes and advertises hilariously overpriced """"""""products"""""""" kinda sucks tbh. i have to go to other language accounts to get stuff like concept art and celebrating the anniversary of a game the released a year ago. were well past the era of laughing at sonic just for being sonic, now lets act like it

stop harrassing people involved with this series even if theyre doing an objectively bad job. thats a real person and you should care more about them than you do a fictional character

the above DOES apply to ken penders. hes a piece of shit but still a person

criticism =/= harrassment. this goes both ways

cream IS a hero thank you very much

reference to a thing you like does not equal good character writing. critically, it does not equal bad character writing either

amys not a damsel in distress and hasnt been in over 20 years. if we count characters just getting captured as being damseled then congratulations, sonic himself is a damsel in distress (Forces), apply that shit equally across both genders

ryan drummond was the best english va, but jason got the better scripts. roger is getting better and most of the work hes been given is just. bad. so i dont feel okay judging his work. but he is my least favorite

gameplay>story when it comes to the actual games, every time. if you have a good story to tell its only hampered by being in a shitty game

worst game in the series is sonic colors ultimate. say what you will about 06, forces, rise of lyric, or whatever other game. at least they werent literally physically dangerous to play

all the main female characters in the games are asskickers, they just need to be utilized more. as does every member of the supporting cast

the sonic franchise fucking needs to stop having long gone ancient civilizations. please have new ideas

this is the end of the list. go away

[carmenpeach]

hm okay something thats been on my mind for like over a year now. sometime last year? or maybe closer to almost 2 years(!?) i started taking antipsychotics cause i just couldnt stand the paranoia anymore it had been ruining my life and i just could not function as a person and i was sick of the daily panic attacks. but like i thought "if i dont like how this makes me feel, i can stop and just go back to being crazy" and obviously i wasnt enjoying it- mostly it made me feel really numb to enjoyment and i found that my special interests were just becoming background noise for me at most and it was really hard like i didnt wanna draw or even play games it was like "wake up go to work come home smoke weed go to bed repeat"

and it was like my stuffed animals quit feeling like sentient and started to feel like just objects and it made me feel sick. like my toys had always been alive in a way and then suddenly they werent, but thats definitly not the reason i was so distressed being sane, since i know that special objects are bound to over the years not feel like friends etc etc <- mentally ill whatever. it was like there was a sudden wash of clarity over me and i hated it.

like it was like i was split in two in a way, and this is the part thats hard to explain unless you personally know the feeling. a lot of schizophrenic people have this feeling of like another person/ self residing in the back of the head or spine. and it gives this sense of paranoia, of being over your shoulders or under your skin just beneath you. and until a few years ago i didnt know this was something other people felt sometimes, and it was terrifying just feeling this entity of sorts possessing me in a way. i had felt it ever since i was a kid (maybe 9? for sure became a hard issue by the time i was 12 though so you know. early schizophrenia if not life long) but i never mentioned it to anyone for a variety of reasons, primarily because there was this feeling that if i outwardly acknowledged it, then it would know that i knew about it, and it would get me. whether that was killing me, torturing me, pulling me into another dimension, or taking over my body. and after 2 decades it just became part of my every day life, this thing within me that would always look for an opportunity to torment me in some unknown but inhumane way. and it was just this all consuming feeling, even feeling its thoughts inside my head, and not being sure where i ended and it began, and i accepted it as just a part of me for better or for worse.

and so starting antipychotics, they did their job and i felt "normal" and i was sleeping regularily for the first time in my life (would lay awake for hours and hours ever sinde like idk 3rd grade. 5 hours a night max usually and then that was plagued by nightmares. and of course the constant hallucinations and delusions in the meantime made sleep even harder) and i even felt less of that endless anger inside of me. and i hated it. it was like after being on it for idk maybe 2 weeks or a month or something i just suddenly in the day felt this clarity wash over me and just like that, the spine creature was gone. it was quiet upstairs. and ive felt hollow ever since. i quit the medication not long after but ive felt the same. its like it got mad at me and left to teach me a lesson for trying to toy with it. and ive been a half human ever since. its spacious in my body and in my mind, used to holding two people and now its just one. and ive spent so much time trying to induce epiosdes and just hoping(?) it comes back, but it hasnt.

its like im being forced to live as a human when im not. "being human" is this like aspect ive always struggled with, like im not gonna go into it but ive been forced to live as a non human my whole life, and every time i start to feel that feeling of "maybe i could be a person" something fucking outlandish happens and kicks me back down. i feel like a cartoon character the way everything is such a "yeah this sort of shit would happen to me" moments all the time. and like in a weird way, i always had this "evidence" i was a non human, with this otherworldly thing living inside of me and it was me.

for a long time i thought of it as the "original" me before all the events in my life forced me to create a new version of myself, and that it hated me. like i was one person ripped in two, and the part you have now (carmen) is the "active" "half" but its only half of a full person. but the other half certainly wasnt a person either. ive had many theories of what it is/ was, but knew i would never know, all i knew was that i could never acknowledge it. and its funny cause knowing that "its just schizophrenia" doesnt ease that feeling. its hard to explain. but what im getting at is that ive spent the last two years learning to navigate myself as only a fraction of what i was before.

its interesting cause i wouldnt say the insanity is gone, every now and then paranoia rears its head and certain topics that would make me have an episode will still freak me out. but i can walk past mirrors now (mirrors were always a 100% episode inducing thing) and i still sleep regularily and ive been eating stable too. but its still with this feeling of hollowness. im used to there being two people inside my body and now its just one, and its too spacious and its almost like i get lost in there. only one set of thoughts in my head, only one person looking through my eyes, only one person controlling my arms. i always felt like an alien and thought i always would. and i found great joy in embracing my schizophrenia rather than hiding it as some terrible secret. and it was the best thing i ever did for myself, was finally being open about my psychosis. ive made so many meaningful connections to other psychotic people, and im so happy ive met ppl that helped me understand myself and that im not the only one that feels this, and also that ive helped other people realize their own psychosis too.

i thought i could play pretend at being a normal person and go back to myself if i didnt like it, but i ended up staying this way. i know its not impossible for that feeling to come back maybe, but my god its horrifying to lose it the way i did. it feels only the more recent months ive started to adapt to being the only me in my body, and to feel like i could maybe be human too. yeah it was scary, but on the other hand now its kind of lonely in a really weird way, and not something i thought was possible either, i can still feel the impression where it was even as it fills in with my own shape now.

[spongebobafettywap]

It might be because there weren't that many crazy changes between now and the 80s ? I know it sounds dumb but hear me about : Outside of technological and medical advancement, the past 10 or so years kinda looped back to the 80s-90s period especially for all the stuff relating to entertainment from music to shows to movies (remakes and sequels). The biggest hit show since the mid 2010's was Stranger Things whose story takes place in the 1980s. Slightly less blatant but still noteworthy are the clothing trends, vintage stuff got brought back a bit and the 80s attract a lot of people for the esthetic too

It creates a huge dissonance between the past and present

You're kind of right but you can't really discount the technological and medical advances as they do a huge influence on our cultures and lifestyles, especially if you were born in the mid to late 90s like me and witnessed technology change in real time with vhs and casette tapes and dial up internet going away in the mid 2000s.

So with technology, the 80s is when the home computer became a mainstream thing and back then computers were mainly used for working on documents or playing games. Although Emails have existed for much longer than you would think and a very primitive version of the Internet existed back then you can see a video on it here:

But I will say that 80s nostalgia has been huge in every decade since it passed, the 90s still held onto bright 80s colours for a time being, then the 2000s would make 80s throwbacks in media like with Grand Theft Auto Vice City paying homage to 80s movies, music and styles. The 2000s also had the major nostalgia boom for 80s Toy Franchises like Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Thundercats, He-Man etc.

Though whilst that nostalgia level was high and probably the highest of any decade, I still think things evolved from the 90s culture onwards, I'd say the 90s and the 2000s were quite similar for a majority of it, though towards the mid to tail end of the 2000s a lot of things we have today came from that time period. Someone said the other day online that in Grand Theft Auto 4 a game that takes place in 2008 there's actually not a whole lot about it that doesn't feel like it couldn't take place today, they have a in universe version of Facebook, Twitter and Youtube.

And I think thats the main thing that makes the late 2000s, the 2010s and the early 2020s just seem to blend together, what can we really point to came about from the last decade or this one that wasnt just a continuation or remix of something from the late 2000s? Its kind of like things have just been put on repeat since then. I'll admit I am more nostalgic for the late 2010s but I think a big part of that is it still felt like things could change even more the 2000s weren't all that long ago so it didn't feel like things needed to progress more.

[kitkatcadillac]

i cant stop thinking about this lady a couple of weeks ago. i hate some facets of internet lingo because a lot of time i feel like theyre so niche but get blown into these ridiculous proportions but ive never met a more karen karen in my life.

lunch rush. and she comes up already looking like shes here for war. i say hello, how are you, she responds immediately by explaining that ONLINE, it says theres a buy one get one free deal at PARTICIPATING LOCATIONS, and that YOUUU GUYS are participating. it says so.

listen. i know people love their little coupons. i will not rob you the joys of a little treat at a discount today, as much as i loathe coupons in a franchise setting. please be free. be happy. have a sammy.

but i had never heard of this promotion. i have not. i never do. we arent participating location. nobody asked us. the app tells you everything automatically participates so you haul your ass off to get a sandwich and get into the store, thats the first step to spending money, which is all a company gives a shit about.

but i told her. i told her we do not participate. we cannot participate. also, nobody asked us. (politely and professionally. it did not keep her from being grouchy.)

she repeats herself. her eyebrows are angling down further in threat.

i tell her theres nothing much i can do for her.

ive never. in my life, in real life, outside of a youtube parody, seen someone turn around, scoff, and tell me "Well I'll just go to another store then!" like its the most scathing, horrific set of words to inflict upon my person. like id go diving across the counter to beg her please, no, god! anything but that!

but im neurodivergent, and its lunch rush, and in my little walnut brain ive had a conversation and its reached its climax, weve come to an understanding, that is reasonable, and she is leaving and i need to have my manners and then move on to the next customer politely too. people are hungry!

i tell her (quite sincerely actually) "have a nice day!"

the way she WHIPPED her head around to look at me like ive insulted her entire bloodline. like ive trashed her entire wardrobe and then slapped her mother. i genuinely had no idea this woman was pissed beyond pissed until this moment and i wasnt even LOOKING at her, i was already started on the next person- but i promise you, the way her mouth thinned out and she froze there, boiling for a second. if there were not 8 people there all trying to hurry along and get food, she would have unleashed like three decades of pent up frustration on me for... what. not taking a coupon? not signing onto the company website and updating the damn thing myself??? (i cant) good lord. settle down.

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

mega mega fumin'

ok yall so ive been in college for a week and two days (everybody clap) its been fun, most of the ppl here are queer and ppl are very nice, my classes are going well so far :))))))))

and ive been watching tua s4 as a part of my nightly routine while i redo my hair for bed.

and um

i combed my hair for the week today while finishing the season and i have some thoughts on the matter.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 4 UNDER THE CUT

what in the everloving fuck was that

i already want to rewrite the lorax in a very dark manner after listening to biggering but that??? THAT?????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??????

HE NEEDS TO COUNT HIS FUCKING DAYS WHO WAS IN THE GODDAMN WRITING ROOM IM THROWING CHAIRS AND TABLES, FUCK A HAND

the romance plotline was ass and wasnt in character AT ALL, i dont see it as a part of reality that exists, both for five and also lila.

lila is not that shallow of a woman or a mother to just do that, i think we all know that she cares a hell of a lot about her marriage with diego AS WELL AS HER FUCKING CHILDREN than to do something like that. even with her entire chaos personality and potentially using people, she would NOT go that far because her love for her family does not outweigh 7 years of no dick.

and five is quite literally one of the most intelligent characters in the series (it shouldve been him and dolores). nothing could ever convince me that he would fall in love with his BROTHER'S WIFE and feel no immediate remorse towards it, once again, 7 years or 7 fucking decades, please leave your complaints in my vacuum of "i dont give a fuck".

i actually liked ben and jennifer as characters interacting. if we take out the marigold and durango wimey shit, i wouldve loved to see them be in love and interact with each other as is. i think he deserves nice things. also since its literally been two years since i watched season 3 bc i watched it one, during a really shitty ongoing OCD episode and two, because i thought it was an "ok" season. (almost said bad, but we now know our standards were much much too low). there was also a point in which i thought that ben and jennifer were connected bc she came out of a giant squid (in which wtf), and ben has tentacle powers??? idk its odd to me too, don't worry.

reggie i hope you choke asshat, as well as you and your wife. at first i thought homegirl was a bootlicker but no i cant really call her that. she was fr like "well it was my death, you chose to bring me back fuck u hubby" erm yeah that was definitely something, viktor you shouldve killed him when you had the chance honey. also i blame reginald for that shit, he was the goddamn anomaly, not the entire umbrella academy???? at first i thought five blinking into the apocalypse all those years ago was the anomaly, but nooo we're gonna blame the abuse victims. *rolls eyes*

more about him um his entire "im gonna bring her back" shit was giving gendo ikari (for those of you who don't know, gendo ikari is an antagonist and key character in the anime neon genesis evangelion, in which he was a miserable fuck and loved his wife so much he killed the entire world to see her again, then that didnt even happen). him taking the shot on the ben and jennifer amalgamation which in the end triggered the cleanse???? that was weird to me. like him being an asshole wasn't weird, that's already been established, but their death and recombination just triggering an event that severe???? wild, still kinda confused.

the only way i could see raymond walking out on allison is if she really, and i mean REALLY fucked up. but given everything that she has done in the past, i think she learned her lesson. raymond would never, i wouldve preferred him to have died off-screen than to have walked out bc???? anyway moving tf on.

i enjoyed klaus a lot this season bc hes my favorite but also because a part of me enjoyed seeing a different, more "real" anxious side of him. (that i could relate to a bit more). after reading a few opinions and watching the deleted scene where he went to an AA meeting and finally actually admitted he was an alcoholic to himself......steve blackman wtf. was this the bad ending, did we all fuck up that bad in our choices that we got HERE????? im kissing him on the forehead, i cant believe the last time i saw klaus hargreeves on tv there were actual tears coming down his face im....im so sick y'all.

whoever decided to put all that vomit in the episode please dont do that again. i know you cant put warnings for literal barf on a tv show but as someone who suffered through the roaches of season 3, then had to take breaks watching the sick episode of this season bc emetophobia......ew. (the baby shark shit was funny as hell to me oopsie)

i actually kinda enjoyed jean and gene as characters, their dynamic was entertaining to me, but i wish i got to see more of their history, i especially found it a little weird how jean was holding gene's face in the episode that five and lila were in the meeting together.....i wanna know more.

erm i think the concept of the keepers was also interesting. like a little group of people who know they see some weird shit and find other folks, kinda neat.

the casual drop that one of the fives made the commission???? we're just gonna brush past that???? like it makes a fuck ton of sense bc its a collection of fives we're talking about but i just.....that was a shock to me, one in which i felt i had little time to recover from given it was the last fucking episode and everything that happened after that....happened.

i liked luther the most in this season methinks. i think i had to realize him being shitty in season 1 specifically was partially a trauma response, and he felt he still had to act how he was expected to. once again, fuck you reginald hargreeves, please kiss the darkest part of my black ass.

yeah lets all just ignore all the shit that happened and either let season 3 be the end where they all go their separate ways or even better, season 2 bc that shit was peak highkey.

[goodfully]

okay its been forever since ive really posted anything (big life things! mental health stuff! etc!) but i just finished watching rymans club and wow i just need to sit and talk a little about it.

uhm its like... not the usual sports anime i guess? i only watched it bc i just wanted something really short and easy to watch and i used to play badminton, plus ive had this on my watch list since it came out hahaha. also... ngl i have never seen it being talked about anywhere.

tbh i really enjoyed it! hahaha but as a sports anime, i guess its not that spectacular? i do think theres a lot about this show i really liked tho. most sports anime are about highschoolers, and sports is really all they have their eyes on. its their whole life and dreams. meanwhile id say that for rymans club, where all the characters in this show are older and mostly have office jobs along with being in a badminton team... and the main cast take pride in being both on the badminton team /and/ in their sales team (they also come up with a new popular drink for their company during the show haha).

i thought i could guess the main themes from the start bc well.. ive played badminton and sports anime can be a little predictable, like value of teamwork and getting over trauma from previous tournaments and stuff. but i wasnt really expecting anything like valuing the work you do outside of sports (being a "badryman" aka badminton + salaryman LOL), or doing something more suitable for you (one guy gave it his all and still lost a game, and he realizes that he would enjoy becoming the team coach instead), or family responsibilities vs personal goals (one guy is a dad! he says he doesnt regret quitting badminton like a decade ago after marrying his wife and taking care of his son, but he realizes hes allowed to pursue his goals as well with his family supporting him), or even taking care and not pushing yourself (one guy is not that young anymore and has an injured knee). obviously, winning these badminton games mean a lot to them all, but like... for maybe a third of the show, these guys were also just in suits and doing their sales job in their office, which i found really nice?

also im fond of souta hahaha... probably bc hes an older brother, and hes generally not that energetic and doesnt really put his all into badminton. at one point he was like "do i even like playing badminton..?" which was honestly relatable... ahh. i think in a typical sports anime, such characters will somehow find it in them to enjoy the sports they play and give it their all. but this guy only really tried harder when his partner (his younger brother) was running out of energy and souta thinks that he must do his best to support his brother and win the game together. his younger brother really looks up to him, but he himself doesnt feel that confident in his abilities.

it was also pretty cute that tatsuru inspired mikoto to play badminton when mikoto was just a little kid? and then mikoto inspiring another random kid as well. like!!! yeah!!! as adults, be kind to kids and inspire them!!!

(btw i just adore tatsuru, like hes just such a dude.. i love characters like him LOL)

it was just a short 12 episode show, so we didnt get that much into each character background, and each character arc was pretty fast, as well as the games they played too hahaha but thats understandable.

anyway i have things i have to do... ahh i should end this here. yeah... rymans club... i miss playing badminton hahaha

[colorful-white-ideas]

I love your posts about Bill & Alida because everything you say about them is so spot on. Especially Bill and A 's relationship. I just don't understand why Bill won't call it quits? Clearly he's unhappy and she's a social climber. I know they have a child together but tbh Bill doesn't seem like the most involved father in the world. Bill, his personality and his relationship with A remind me a lot of Theo James. Both like to claim to be low key but (imo) come off as hypocrites and snobs.

¿Why Bill won't call it quits ?

i hope you have time for this ... (Everything I write here is pure speculation, if anyone takes things too seriously, it is up to them)

Because he needs alida, and before i elaborate this statement pls listen to this audio of a podcast in which Bill participated in 2017.

He is asked about swedish culture, Bill defines it as " extremely regulated culture, you are not supposed to stand out , you should not be loud , you should be humble and modest and polyte" and then he says that being in the States was good for him " leaving that culture I find it liberating. Here you are allowed to be loud, to stand out and doing your own thing is encouraged "

I think Bill personality is ambivalent , he can be an introvert some times but also an extrovert. He always talk about how much he loves to be the hostess and that he hates to be alone, wich explains why he is always surrounded by the same friends ( they might be like his safe space )he loves to chat but is also very shy, very afraid of social criticism , he is very aware of how some people might perceive him, he tries to project an image of a very secure man but tend to shrug his shoulders or is looking away when is giving interviews alone. (As if he's afraid to show himself exposed)

Alida personality, on the contrary, is very extroverted, keeping in mind that they both had almost the same upbringing, she seems to be more secure of herself, like she doesn't care what people might think of her. And just like the US liberated him from the rigid swedish culture , Alida maybe had de same effect on him when they started to date. She was loud and outgoing, she helped him sometimes with his roles, maybe she was always bursting his ego, she loves to be the hostess just much like him, they know the same people so they can all be loud together ... shit she was the right balance to him. At that moment.

In the audio i showed you Bill talk with some kind of admiration for the US, that was 2017 ... Now in 2020 Bill talks again about the US but calls the country "the last place he wanted to be" and that we are watching " the decadence of the empyre" or something like that durin an interview for sveridge magazine. Funny , huh?

Yes im gonna , make a paralelism of the US and Alida.

In the last couple of years we've been watching -from a privilege seat- how the their relationship has started to cold. In the begining we saw pictures of them holding hands , going to vacation together, going out with friends , partying, etc. some pictures were upload by alida herself. There is no way he didn't see his backhead, his shoulders, the babyshower pictures, etc. I bet he didn't care she was exposing so much , because he also liked it. It was nt like HE was exposing anything , it was her, and everything was ok because he also was happy and it was new ... But the posting was starting to gain more and more public, followers begun to debate and pointing out HIS contradictions. They absolutley had to start fighting about this at some point.

With that He had to discover her shady side, and I doubt he likes it. Alida even leaked his secret ig account years ago, and this year (2021) deleted her ig account days before Bill's birthday ... I wonder why she did it , BECAUSE IT WASNT HACKED. What did he tell her ? they maybe fight alot , always giving ultimatums to each other, always warning the other about what is being done... He might debate with himself what is he doing, where the hell is he going with all this

In no way they are in a stable relationship, it doesnt matter how much videos of him sharing with the morbergs they "accidentally film" , we only see them "happily" together in the annual birthday photos or when alida leaks "by accident" some photoshopped picture or when friends of her tag a fan accounts in old photoshoots.... when was the last time they attend a social event together? Bill went alone to The Emigrants premiere. All the skarsgård were there but she wasn't WHY?

We see how Bill spends time with the Morbergs but never the other way around WHY?

Im not saying there is nothing happening there ,they perhaps have their moments, very passionate ones. Those are typical in this kind of problematic relationships... I had one, I Know what im talking about.

Besides he spent alot of years with her, he had his big break while being with her and also what kind of father he will be if he leaves her with a toddler?

And just like the US provided him job and the posibility to gain recognition for his talent, Alida gives him a home, party , friends and alcohol that is what he knows since he was a kid ... He might be afraid to lose the connection to his world or with his own identity if he leaves her, their friends will have to pick a side.

How could you apply 0 contact if your ex knows almost every person you also know?

His head must be a mess full of thoughts , trying to find a way to make things work again.

Anyway, the sparkle they once had is gone. Maybe its hard for him recognize it, to do it means to confront all the emotional baggage he drags since childhood and questioning all the decisions he made to get where he is now. Its not easy to be reborn again. His brother Gustaf didn't do it over night. And maybe he feels too old for that because, unlike his brother in his thirties, now at 31 Bill is a father.

But i hope someday he get to realise that its never late... Because he might be an hypocrite snob who always has an elaborated opinion about simple questions but he is unhappy, and is sad seeing him like that. Those eyes dont lie, they don't shine like they used to , and alida`s either.

[nialltlynch]

five favorite fics that I've written (for writer appreciation day)

tagged by kat @sleepy-skittles thank u thank u 😘😘

5. in the garden sleeps a messenger — one of two non birdverse fics ive posted!! the target audience for this fic was me, twenty some odd years ago. ((love u bitch 🥰🥰)) anyway. edea and seifer have Thee Most Interesting Dynamic. it is insane to me how little there is about them. theres mommy issues. theres a highly problematic age gap. theres a concerning power dynamic. theres a hot evil milf with a banger aesthetic. theres the time loop or whatever the fuck was going on there. succession of witches defined my life for over a decade. seifer is into petplay i know this i know this. theres SO MUCH to explore here and it's all so underutilized in the game. this fic honestly does not even begin to get into but i consider it a decent first exploration and hopefully when i have time and energy i can do it a bit more justice. as it is though i really enjoy it!!

4. without a me there is no you —

She has the same blush rounding her cheeks and the same quiet, nervous laughter as the young Mór many years ago who muffled her kisses on Niall's mouth.

this bit was floating around in my head with perfectly clarity when i woke up one day and i immediately wrote out about six hundred words surrounding it on my phone before getting out of bed. im really interested in the implications of niall dreaming a docile sweet mannered replacement wife and i thought it would be interesting to explore it a bit from mór's perspective because she would be so impossibly biased. also thought it would be interesting if she fucked above mentioned replacement. this was my first time really trying to inhabit mór which, let me tell you, is really hard when the only canon information is scraps.

3. ambilevous — oh handcat fic, my weird little brain worm. all my fics are elaborate, long overstayed jokes in one way or another but this one i wrote specifically because the concept was just sooooo silly to me. absolutely absurd. certified kk comedy hour. it is, in usual fashion, a thinly veiled exploration of the more fucked up lynch family dynamics and how the barns arent quite what they seem but of course it is.

2. smoke alarms, smoke — my first exploration of the lynch family 🥰 it means a lot to me. i love this fic. the idea of the barns as a beautiful fairy tale ending had always rubbed me the wrong way and of course i love the slow desolation of locations through those that inhabit it which, really, what is the barns if not a haunted house waiting to happen. thats the part thats lacking (unfortunate!!) but i did get to write declan as a sad sad little kiddy which is one of my few life joys. i loved it when i wrote it and i love it now (which is saying a lot). while it isnt everything i want it to be i do very much love what it is!

1. it's a gift to be simple, it's a gift to be free — my aurora character study and probably the best thing ive written thus far...maybe ever. i honestly have no idea what the fuck i was on when i wrote this but god i wish i could get it back. some of my personal favorite prose comes from this fic. its a very personal fic in that i centered the emotional core on some of my own life bullshit. stylistically i owe so much of this fic to catherine valente's comfort me with apples which i had read around then (as if it wasnt obvious). i had already been thinking about aurora and her role in the lynch family but reading that helped solidify the tone i really wanted. this is another fic i sat down, wrote, and edited all in one night. i think if i hadn't posted it then it would've languished in editing hell so im very happy with what i put out.

oh and the recurring knife thing was because i was having feelings about knife maintenance, as one does. (if anyone wants me to come over and sharpen their kitchen knives and make you dinner lmk)

ive seen this passed around and lost track of who's already done it so if you would like participate then i am tagging you now. enjoy ((:

[glitchytripod]

Can we see more progress from your Pokemon x SMT project? I'm actually seriously interested in seeing how far you take it

I'm really, really, really glad to hear that you're interested in it!!!

OK so i don't want to sound rude or like i'm brushing this question off or anything, I'm just laying out the facts so there's no misunderstanding. If i do sound that way, just know i have a big stupid grin on my face as i'm typing this out.

Am I still working on it: Yes! in fact, i'm working on it as i'm typing this up. Here is the current status:

All of the system-level stuff is done. This is things like the overall battle system & mechanics, overworld control & interactivity, saving & loading, etc. All of it is done, and now what's left is construction of the "content" of the game.

When I say "content" I'm talking about things like, dungeon & general environment layout/design, enemy movesets, enemy ai, attack animations, attack data & balancing, writing, writing, writing, WRITING, oh my GOD there is so much writing to be done!!!!!

hey do you know why mainline SMT games come out like once a decade????? its because of negotiation dialogue!!!!!! The system i've put together is a really dumbed down version of it, and there is SO much dialogue to write it's unreal!!!! (also im not really happy with how it turned out so I need to rework it!)

and beyond that there is stuff like cutscenes that need to be written as well. and character portrait sprites and such. The game isn't really even in a "playable" state right now (i haven't added a "game over" screen yet), but once all of the content stuff has been built, it should be there. and then you do play tests and bug fixes and yadda yadda yadda

and uh, also. some real-life stuff came up a lil while ago that i won't go into. but i wasnt able to work on it for a bit and i'm just now getting back into the swing of things. dont worry, everythings cool now

Is there anything I can show right now? errrr, kind of? There are few things that I want to keep secret for now. or at least until i'm ready to actually, formally announce that the game is a *thing*. BUT i've been working on this thing for what, six+ months now? I have a couple old videos that I made to show some friends on discord that I can show off that show off a bit of what I want to go for with the game.

err, i would put them here but tumblr doesn't seem to like that?????? i'll make a follow up post.

seriously, it makes me super happy that there's even one person out there that is excited for this thing. It's been an idea that's been burning a hole in my brain for so long that i almost feel like i HAVE to make it in order to fit more ideas in there lol.

Thank you for sending me this ask. i really, really, truly appreciate it.

I have some more things that I'm just itching to share, but am just not quite there yet. All I can say is: SOON.

[kagender]

📌💎💕

[📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?]

📌 - i originally found out about keroro gunso back in july of 2020! i havent heard anyone even mention it before that, but then my american friend started talking abt it 2 me because they watched it when they were younger! and im pretty sure that they tried to make me watch it?

keroro wasnt really even a thing in my country - no dub, no translations, nothing. in fact even fans of it were and still are quite a rare find here, i only found one person from my country who was quite active in the fandom almost a decade ago, they even uploaded some of the OST to youtube! and the rest were just some people who reviewed the show on filmweb ... one of them seemed to have watched and liked the shurara corps arc though, which is nice :]

i didnt actually attempt to watch it until like a month or two later, and i originally watched episode 2 instead of well, the first episode. i very much remember not knowing any of the human characters names so i would refer to them as "black haired boy and pink haired girl" for fuyuki and natsumi, and "straight girl" for momoka (which is very wrong) i also didnt watch the series for some time after that, until i picked it up again and the brainworms got me🐛

💎 - iiiiii dont think that i have any fun facts to share? nothings really coming to my mind right now haha

💕 - oh i do have..... a bunch. most of them are minor characters, as they usually arent as fleshed out as the main ones so i can make shit up about them with ease ^_^

first up is sato, who appeared in episode 134 of the anime, aka the one about akihabara! i feel in love with this furry man the moment i saw him, and i really like the relationship that he has with kururu..... they. r. friends!!!! they used to hoard (assumably computer) parts together at some point!!

he didnt appear in any episode besides 134 afaik, in fact he didnt even get a single damn cameo! (I THINK..... i hope im wrong) which sucks to me, the number one sato fan ...

i liked him so much that i even gave him a role in my au, although its nothing super major! hes just a guy who showed up at some point in kururus past

then we have cheuton, with whom i also instantly fell in love! his design is super cool, and he made me fall in love with the ronier species as a whole, to the point where i have some ronier ocs! (would they still count as orikeros?)

he first appeared in episode 132, which is weirdly close to satos ep, and he got a cameo or two in one of the other episodes AND an opening (i think that it was the viva viva one? which sucks because its one of my least favourites LOL)

he was sent to pekopon by a higher up (i assume) simply named bob along with his class/teammates to fight the keroro platoon, and he was assigned to have a duel with dororo, which scared him shitless because he heard so many great (and fearsome i guess) things about him, but he ended up doing better than his teammates (who got their ass kicked. i mean he kinda did too, but at least he did not break any of his damn bones, unlike some of them!)

OH SHIT OH SHIT WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT HE ALSO APPEARED IN THE MANGA!!!!! WHICH IS FUCKING AWESOME IF YOU ASK ME ..... it was pretty much the same as the anime episode, except his teammates didnt appear in the manga methinks..... and it was soooo cool seing him in the mangas style because i very much prefer it to the animes art!!!

i also did some development for roniers themselves, as a species, such as changing up some elements of their designs! aaand i owe it all to this little man ...

anyways that was long .... yeah i fuckin love cheuton he is my favourite guy

THEN OF COURSE.... WE HAVE THE DAMN CORPS!!!! i would put them first in this thing if it wasnt so damn obvious that they are my favourite-est, and i also wanted to shine some light on some fairly obscure, non-keronian characters first!

while i obviously like some of them better than the others (also see kagege and shurara) i very much love them all ..... i could make a whole essay on each individual member if i didnt want for this post to be too long!

they originally debuted in the B part of episode 159, with several episodes spanning the entirety of season 4 following! we didnt really get to see them in action until episode 161 though, which was entirely dedicated to putata n mekeke ..... and ya u know the rest!!!!!!

while i definitely love all the characters from this arc, i wasnt a big fan of the storyline .... i found the finale especially kinda dumb and underwhelming, which sucks because well, its the finale! its ought to be good! so like several fans before me i tried to change it up a little in my au ...... fix it even!!!!

and yeah i wont ramble on ..... i think that everyone who follows me on there is aware of how this account is certainly just a shurara corps fanblog. much love

i also love a lot of other characters ..... kururu .... tamama .... pururu ..... zoruru ..... rinono n shupepe .... lots of keroland frogs ..... but i do . not. want to ramble too much!!!!! so bye

[mollyhale]

fuck you. it is not fair to me for you to tell me i didnt suffer enough for her death. it’s not. it’s also not fair to him that you think i suffered too much for him. i suffered for them both. i grieved and still grieve for them both. one was nearly a decade ago, i’ve come more to peace with that one. it still aches in me, but i’ve found more peace in the passing years. the other is fresh. still new, still only two years ago. i’m still grappling with that one and finding my footing again. you’d hate to hear this, i know you fucking would, but they’re different. they’re different and they deserve their own respective grief and memory, but they’re different. to put it bluntly, and i hate to put it so for my self, but one was more expected and the other was so shocking. im sorry, im sorry, im sorry, but it’s the truth. she was old and she was at the end of her rope, she gave us all that she had and nearly made it to 100. respectfully, and only respectfully, i’ve come to terms over time that that was her time to go. there’s nothing we could have done. and quite frankly, i’m glad she doesn’t have to suffer through the world that’s come after her. as for him - he wasnt supposed to go like that and you know it. he was not supposed to be killed. he was robbed of a life ahead of him, and didn’t even get justice in the sentencing of his killer, and yet - i suffer too much for his loss. how is that fair? how am i not allowed to grieve for a loss that was unprecedented but i must kill myself over nature running itself to the end? i love her, and you know that. you know that and i should not have to prove it to you. i suffered for her. i grieved for her. i did a lot of it in private, and that is not something i need to dig up and write out for you like a research paper to prove that i did my time and properly grieved by your standards. everyone grieves differently, and i’ve been grieving since i was born. 

i did not speak to a single person that first week when she passed. i broke down sobbing in the middle of the day because i thought i heard her voice in my head as clear as day. they made me see a counselor after that episode, did you know that? i had to read a book about processing death because i couldn’t. i lived in denial for a solid three years, every night believing she was still in the hospice. i still write about missing her in my journal. i cried to myself at night silently so no one would hear me. i would try my damnedest to get some sort of proof that she was out there looking out for me. i was a fucking kid trying to grapple with loss. i would set the table every night with a place for her so she never felt excluded. i kept making the same amount of bread she always did for herself so it wasnt as though she was erased from the routine. i sit in her spot at the table so no one else does because i dont feel anyone deserves to sit there but her, so i want to protect it from any strangers you let into the home. your mother sits in her spot just the same for the same purpose. have you ever seen anyone besides the two of them sit in that chair? i still call her room her room. i dont address it as a guest room, it’s still her room. i was the one who begged you not to touch the bookshelves in her room and get rid of the books that had been there my whole life. but oh, wasnt it you who insisted on throwing them out and did so anyway? arent you the one trying to sell the couch from her room despite my protests? you wanted to sell the house, the house she lived in and loved all us in. you want to get rid of the last tangible bit of her we have left? i could hardly communicate with her due to a language barrier and i still loved her as if there was nothing stopping us from communicating. and who’s the one who remembers the day she passed? i mean the actual date. you don’t even know the day or year she passed. i remember. i remember everything about that day. like how you kept me from knowing she passed and wouldn’t let me see her. wouldn’t let me say goodbye. wouldn’t let me come to the burial. that’s all YOUR fucking fault.

i dont ever want to fucking hear how i didnt suffer enough for her. i did, i do, i always will. im more at peace with it than him, but by fucking god, i am filled with grief for her loss. and i dont want to fucking hear how i shouldnt be suffering for him. how he doesnt deserve as much grief as she does. they are both entitled to all the love i have to translate into grief because i loved them both. one was family by blood and the other chosen, and i love them both and i love them both in different ways. this isnt fair. you’re not being fair. this isnt fair. 

this isnt fair, this isnt fair, this isnt fair.

[bridgyrose]

So, what is next for our intrepid duo of ghost hunters? Calling the Busters? Dig into the foundation of the Schnee case? Curious minds would like to know.

Ruby sighed as they walked back to the mansion, holding red lilies in her hands. “Are you sure this is going to work? The last time we were here, I was nearly killed.” 

“We’ll be fine this time. The younger one said his sister likes these kinds of flowers, so this should calm her down. And this time, we arent going to intrude. We’re going to get invited in.” Penny smiled and sat a vase of white roses down before knocking on the door. “And then, she cant be upset.” 

“And how do you suppose we’ll be invited in?” 

The door opened as a breeze picked up, almost like the mansion was inviting the two in. Penny smiled and picked up the vase. “Like this.” 

Ruby shook her head and followed Penny inside. The inside was… darker than it had been before. Windows that were open previously had now been shut. Glass littered the hallways from shattered mirrors, even some of the furniture had been broken. Ruby sat her vase of lilies down on one of the few intact tables. “Alright, so, how is this going to work?” 

Penny sat her roses down and looked around the room, not seeing any ghostly activity. “I’m… not sure right now. But we’ll need to wait. See if we can get someone to-”

A crash came from the far side of the room as one of the paintings fell, the frame shattering. A breeze picked up inside, trying to bring the room to freezing temperatures. A ghostly wail started to fill the air as Weiss made her move. 

Penny looked around, trying to find where Weiss was going. “We dont mean you any harm right now. We brought you flowers. As a gift. To apologize for what happened last time.” 

Ruby listened as the room went silent. She looked around, starting to get a little terrified. “So.. what now?” 

“Now, we wait.” Penny backed up from the flowers, keeping Ruby close. She waited for the first sign of Weiss to appear. 

Weiss slowly materialized near the roses, picking one up. “I havent seen these flowers for decades. How did you know?” 

Penny made her eyes flash, watching Weiss. “Your… brother told us about them. Said they were your favorite.” 

Ruby took a step back as Weiss seemed to appear before her. She wasnt sure what Penny had done, but now, the late heiress was floating before her, holding one of the roses. “I’m… sorry we trespassed last time. We didnt know you were still here. Well… we didnt have any proof.” 

Weiss paused as she heard Ruby, looking over to her. “Your voice… you sound just like she did.” 

“She?” 

The ghostly heiress moved to Ruby, walking around her, looking for something. “Someone I knew a very long time ago. That doesnt matter though. That was another lifetime.” 

“You could tell us. Maybe we can help you.” 

Weiss smirked as a thought came through her mind. “Just to make sure we’re clear, you want to help me? Is that right?” 

“Yes.” 

“Perfect.” Weiss put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder, seamlessly entering the girl. 

Penny’s eyes widened as she was helpless to watch. Never before had she witnessed a ghost acting like this before. “Get out of her.” 

“I dont think so.” Weiss smiled as she looked over her new body, getting used to the sensations she hadnt felt in so many years. “She offered to help me, and so I’m going to make sure she does. Otherwise, I can make sure that she and I spend a very long eternity together.” 

“And what do you want help with?” 

Weiss shrugged and started walking out of the mansion. “I’m not sure yet. But, it’ll come to me eventually. For now, I want to see the world and how it’s changed since I last left this manor. I’m sure you understand.” 

Penny frowned, following the heiress who now inhabited her friend’s body. “You cant just stay inside of her! You have to leave!” 

“No.” Weiss stopped and turned around, smiling at Penny. “But, if you think you can get me out without hurting your friend, you’re more than welcome to try. In the meantime, if you dont want anyone to think you’re crazy, you might as well accept that I am this “Ruby” now.” 

Penny sighed, feeling defeated. Weiss was right, there wasnt much she could do right now without hurting Ruby, and any more discussion like that would make her seem a bit… off. “Then will you at least tell me why you’re so interested in Ruby now? Who does she look like to you?” 

Weiss smiled and started heading back into town, eager to learn about all the changes over the decade. “My lover, of course. And who knows, maybe I can get her to be mine once again.” 

Penny slowly followed Weiss, trailing a bit behind. “This… is going to be quite the adventure…” 

[brelione]

The Surfer And The Siren

Chapter Three:The Conspiracy Blog,The Investigation and The Shitty Sister In Law

Chapter One       Chapter Two

Warnings:Mentions of racism,homophobia

S0rry that this chapter is kind of short.The next one will be longer.

You didn't understand how you had never found out about this.The article was from 2012 by a conspiracy blog.There were dozens of photographs of you,a bright red circle showing where you was in group photos that were taken in the fifties and more from the seventies.There were a few photos of your large scales the size of quarters that had been found on coral reefs and posted on facebook with captions asking for someone to tell the finder what animal the scale belonged to.Another photo showed a photo of your fluke splashing out of the water.In some your hair had been tucked into your old red hat so the mess of blue waves wouldn't be seen.But somehow those photos had been linked to others from the bridge of your nose and the color of your skin.You kind of missed the old days before all the facial recognition technology.

You went through the photos to see paragraphs and paragraphs with quotes from the interview with Linden. “Linden Sislip,sister of poet and former pawn shop owner claims that her brother was in love with the sea monster of Outer Banks.For decades a murderous mermaid-like creature has haunted the waters and supposedly lured multiple men to painful water related deaths.Outerbanks is known as Paradise on Earth and is home to countless millionaires AKA the sea monsters preferred prey.Some think the creature has migrated elsewhere because of a string of similar deaths closer to California.What do you think?”That article had to be the most bull shit thing you had ever read.Luckily most of the comments agreed,calling the photos fake and saying the scales were that of a tuna’s.

That was pretty insulting to say the least but at least they didn't actually believe you were a serial killing sea monster.That made you feel better but knowing how much Linden hated you definitely hurt a bit.She had hated most people though.She hated the poor,people of color,lgbt+,cats and babies.What kind of sociopath hates cats and babies?You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that somehow she was raised by the same parents he was yet she ended up like that.He was ahead of his time.He was respectful and kind and he loved everyone regardless of social status,race or sexuaity.That’s what made you feel so close to him.Linden had always stared in disgust when he bought extra newspapers to bring to people who couldn't afford them or when he saved his food to bring to children whose parents worked three jobs and still couldn't pay for a decent meal.

You pitied Linden,you couldn't even imagine being that closed minded and ignorant.Things were much worse in the South for sure but you tried your best to get to people.After he had passed away Linden had forced the rest of the family to completely shut you out.You couldn't go to the funeral or even go into their home to grab things that you could remember him by.She blamed you fro his death when she should have blamed herself.It was a terrible thought because in reality there was noone to blame but he had spent so much time in his life trying to convince her to be a good person and convince her to respect people.It had been a waste of years trying to wear her down and make her good but you cant help them all.

The interview didn't really shock you that much.She had always been bitter about you and your origins bit what did shock you was the fact that she had a son in 1950.A son named Bellamy Maybank. “Shit.”You whispered under your breath.Richard waited for you to explain your shock but when you didn't say anything he grew impatient. “What?”He asked.You just nodded,trying to form words.This was real life.This wasnt some weird dream or a conspiracy.This was actually real.This article was published 8 years ago and you had never seen it.

How could you have never seen it?You wondered if Richard knew and had hid it from you but that couldnt be.He knew just as little as you did. “You were right...but theres a time gap.How good are you at investigating?”You asked.A wide smile came across his mature,wrinkly face. “Are you forgetting about how I sunk Ward Cameron’s boat and completely trashed his plans in like...two hours?”He asked.You laughed quietly.Richard had always been so proud of that. “God,how could I forget?”You grinned,looking back up at the TV. “So what do you need me to find out?Make me a list in my notes app.You know which one the notes app is,right?”He teased.You rolled your eyes,opening the app and making a new note.

Close the time gap (after 50-now)

Learn about JJ,Pope,Kiara and the other one.

Check up on Ward’s plans

It had been a hot minute since you had Richard investigate someone.Last time had been nearly 20 years ago.Turns out Ward Cameron was hunting you down in attempt to kidnap and sell you.he was a fucked up son of a trout and you would most definitely say that to his face if given  the chance.You placed the phone down,looking back up at the tv.The main character was threatening a rude looking blonde boy with terrible fashion sense. “Could we drive around for a while?”You asked.He nodded,standing up from his chair.His feet were sore but he always pulled through for you.You two went back out to his car.He turned on your favorite CD that belonged to Billie Eilish.So much had changed since just a few years ago.Someone like Billie would absolutely be an outcast back when you were her age.

Something about the way that cars moved made you happy.It was strange to see the world shifting around you.How poor people rode horses and the rich had cars and how the tables had turned.You had seen so many wars and so many deaths yet you had watched multiple births.You watched segregation end and witnessed people of all races and ethnicities get the right to vote.You had seen the day that the lgbt community finally got rights.And you had helped with it all.You had experienced the life of the poor and of the filthy rich and you were only a quarter through your life.You had been a friend to Marilyn Monroe and saw the day that JFK was assassinated.You had seen so much that no one else had experienced.

You had heard so many old folks complain about the music of today and how it had been so much better back in their day but you could not disagree more.There was no reason to bash the modern ones music.All music is good music except for country music,of course.Richard drove through figure 8 so you could gaze at all the houses.It was quite disgusting that there were only an average of three people living in huge mansions with six bedrooms that they didn't need yet there were families of eight suffering in tiny houses made for three people maximum.The rich were greedy,bitter and overall selfish and annoying.

The poor were generous and grateful for everything they did have and were more likely to be kind and understanding.It was really just a sad place but you didn't want to go anywhere else.A lot of other areas had water that was far too polluted but definitely had better people and a better atmosphere on land.It didn't really matter how great the land was when you could only see it once a month anyways.Plus OBX had a great cave system and pretty nice weather.Richard turned his car,going back to The Cut.If you were to live anywhere in Outer Banks it would most definitely be The Cut.It had an all around better atmosphere,friendlier people and better hiding spots. “So how are the naiads?Have you heard from them?”He asked,purposefully driving slowly.You sighed,turning down the radio. 

“Not really,the only river entrance got blocked off by a ton of fallen branches.I haven't gotten any calls from them though so thats good.Its not that I don't like them or anything but they're just….god,they're so annoying.”You leaned back in your chair.He chuckled. “Does Esmerelda still have a crush on you?”He asked,turning down the dirt road.You nodded. “She’s just….she’s cute but she’s annoying,you know?”You asked.He nodded. “That ones always been kinda strange in the head.”He agreed.Once you got back to the house the sky was lightening up which meant you had such little time.You sat in the backyard in one of the camping chairs with your paper bag in your hand and the drawstring bag hanging off your shoulders.Blue sat with his head on your knee,staring up at you with his big shiny eyes.

He knew the drill by now,his drool making a dark puddle on your jeans as he whined for attention before you had to leave again.Richard had tried to bring the dog out to see you before but it never worked out.Blue got eager and excited and walked to fast for Richard and it wasn't safe for a dog to walk along rough and bumpy rocks.It wasn't exactly safe for an elderly man either but it sucks to suck.You stared up at the sky,wiggling your toes while you still could.As the sun began to come up over the horizon a similar aching pain spread from your heels to your thighs,your body feeling heavy. “I’ll see you next week,(Y/N).”Richard stood up to hug you.You hugged him back,tears pricking at your eyes.

Blue pawed at you,licking your jeans.You kissed his forehead lightly before limping down to the water.You dragged yourself into the water,collapsing when you were at your knees.Your legs tingled,your head slipping under the water as your legs knit together in a painful mess.From below your hips your tail grew,your hair falling in your face as all evidence that you had been human left you.Your hend clenched the deteriorating paper bag as you swished your fins,gaining control over your body again.The sun was now reflecting off the water,nearly blinding you.You ducked under the water,going deeper and deeper.

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