#even Saturday would be a lot bc i have to pack and everything

[florida3exclamationpoints]

A girl should never have to make a phone call

[junkissed]

ocean view

member — junhui x f reader genre — romance, smut, strangers to lovers, soulmate au word count — 8.8k synopsis — an all expenses paid trip to greece for your friend's wedding seems too good to be true, but it gets even better when you meet a handsome stranger on the beach. with the help of a mysterious old lady, her magic deck of tarot cards, and one too many coincidences, you're starting to believe things really do happen for a reason. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, unprotected sex, fingering, marking, an oddly romantic one night stand, mentions of past hookups, reader wears dresses, way too much yearning, happy ending ! notes — my part for the @svthub world tour collab; check out the masterlist here! thanks to @multi-kpop-fanfics for answering all my questions and the biggest thanks ever to @onlymingyus for proofreading & helping me brainstorm throughout !! inspired mostly by the spell mv but also a little bit from nana tour and in the soop bc of the vacation vibes. disclaimer i know nothing about tarot but i did a ton of research so i hope that part makes sense anyway :) this fic was a huge challenge to write so please please reblog if you enjoyed reading, the feedback is super appreciated and it helps me keep writing!! read bonus material here!

they say time flies when you’re having fun.

it felt like just days ago when your best friend had announced she was flying everyone to athens for her destination wedding. between helping prepare for the wedding and getting yourself packed for the trip of a lifetime, a weekend on the beach sounded like exactly what you needed to unwind.

but now that you’re here, you’ve quickly realized that your dreams of lazy spa days, massages, and lounging on chairs in the sand with cocktails aren’t on your friend’s itinerary.

what is on her itinerary, however? clubs. lots of clubs, and bars, and raves.

the night before the wedding, you’d showed up at the place you had all planned to meet at for her bachelorette party, a popular bar right on the beach in the center of everything. you hadn’t been sure what to expect, so you’d worn your swimsuit underneath your sundress just in case. between wedding plans and jet lag, you hadn’t yet had the chance to explore the beaches, and you weren’t about to let your favorite white strappy one-piece go to waste without wearing it the whole trip; especially not when you’re surrounded by gorgeous clear waters you don’t get to see while you’re at home.

you tug at your dress a little awkwardly, a simple off-white piece with buttons all down the front. cute and casual, the perfect thing for an evening on the beach. except an evening on the beach is not what you’re getting.

“next round is on me!”

all the girls let out a cheer, clapping and whooping as they raise their glasses. you’re still not even halfway through your first drink; the night is young, but your friends are more enthusiastic partygoers than you are.

you lean away to check the time on your phone, trying not to feel defeated when you see how early it still is. you’ve been trying to hype yourself up for tonight all weekend, but it doesn’t help that your friends are bigger partiers than you. that isn’t to say that you dislike parties, or that you never go out; but parties like this, huge events with hundreds of people packed into a small space with loud music and flashing lights, aren’t really your ideal way to spend a saturday night. even for such a special, rare occasion like a bachelorette party in another country, you can’t bring yourself to get lost in the scene. you should’ve known how this would go, and yet here you are, standing at a cocktail table by yourself surrounded by drunk women.

you turn back around and suddenly the bar is a sea of unfamiliar faces, everyone around you lost in their own worlds jumping and dancing to the music that booms from the speakers. you stand up on your tiptoes to see above the crowd, trying to push your way through in search of someone you recognize, but it seems like they’ve all vanished.

the pounding of the music is starting to give you a headache, so you down the last of your drink and head away from the bar, pushing past people until the crowd eventually starts to thin and you break out into the open air.

it’s still light outside, but the contrast from the darkened bar makes it feel like stepping into another world. the noise gets quieter the farther away you move, and you find your feet carrying themselves down the beach. you walk backwards, turning to look over your shoulder one more time to see if you can spot your friends, but all you see is a crowd full of strangers.

it’s easier to breathe out here, feeling the freshness of the ocean breeze and the salty air in your lungs as you get further and further from the people and the businesses. you turn around again and almost run straight into a man walking from the opposite direction, and you stumble into his arms before you realize what’s happening. you let out a little squeak in surprise and jump backwards, almost tripping over your own feet but his hand instinctively shoots around your waist to help keep you upright.

your cheeks burn with embarrassment, an apology already ready on your lips, but he beats you to it. “sorry,” he says with a shy laugh, slowly letting go of you and offering his hand for balance as you slip your sandal back on that had come off. he steps back and gives you a polite smile, trying to move out of your way. “you look like you’ve got somewhere to be.”

“the opposite, actually. escaping my friend's bachelorette party," you explain. 

"we're in the same boat, then," he chuckles, tucking his hands into the pockets of his shorts. "trying to ditch the bachelor party. it’s a popular place for weddings, huh?”

“seems like it.” you hum, turning to look out over the water. the setting sun glints off the surface, a clear and bright sparkling blue, and you lift your hand to keep the glare out of your eyes. “i just didn’t think it’d be so…”

“…hectic?” he asks, and you laugh a little.

"yeah, you could say that.” a warm breeze ruffles through your sundress, and you cross your arms over your chest. “i guess all weddings are like that, though.”

he nods, following your gaze off into the horizon. you go quiet, listening to the music still loud in the distance and the sound of seagulls cawing above your heads. "i was hoping to get a chance to explore more of the beaches while i'm here. i don’t get to see it often."

"wanna go for a walk?” you ask suddenly, uncrossing your arms. maybe it’s the fresh air of a new place, maybe it’s the comfort of finding another person wanting to get away from it all, but some part of you wants to stay here and find out. you’d wanted to see more of the landscape anyway, and now seems like as good a time as any, especially now that you’ve got company.

he looks over at you, judging your expression before his face softens. “that sounds perfect.”

it’s still early enough that the beach is still mostly full of tourists, adults lounging on towels while reading books and kids splashing water at each other and playing in the sand. you walk further down the beach, passing in front of a grey haired old woman sitting cross-legged on a towel, shuffling a deck of cards in her wrinkled hands.

"always lovely to see couples enjoying the islands,” she calls out to you. there’s an almost rhythmic lilt to her voice, and it’s so sudden that it makes both of you pause and turn around, having paid her no mind as you walked past before. she gestures down at the deck and you finally notice that she’s holding a set of tarot cards, a deep matte black that seems to glitter and sparkle even while shadowed. “would you like a reading?”

your cheeks start to warm, and you push down the butterflies that flutter to life when she assumes you’re together. "oh, no, we're not—”

"sure," jun says over you, and you sneak a glance up at him when you think he's not looking. "how much?"

she clucks her teeth and shakes her head, staring directly at you although she’s answering his question. "no, no, no, my dear. just offering a bit of friendly advice. won’t cost you a thing."

jun nods, but she seems like she’s waiting for your answer so you quickly nod, too. “okay. what… do we have to do?”

she places her palms over the deck and closes her eyes, falling silent. you stand in front of her, feeling a little awkward to be hovering over her like this, but she it’s like she doesn’t even notice. you share a look with jun, but after a beat he grabs your hand and grins as if to say, just go along with it.

her eyes suddenly fly open and she seems pleased with whatever she was doing. “i knew i could feel it,” she says cryptically as she begins shuffling the cards. “but let’s just see what fate has to say about it.”

she stops and pulls the top two cards from the deck, placing them face down on the towel as she motions at them with her hand. at her signal, jun bends forward and turns over one of the cards, reading it aloud. “ace of cups.”

“ace of cups,” she repeats. “an invitation. the open, uninhibited flow of emotions, creativity, and love; the awakening of your spirit. this is a new beginning for you, the start of a new season. trust yourself and your feelings, and embrace the opportunity to grow with your emotions.”

jun nods seriously like he’s taking in her words, but you can see the hint of a smile at the corner of his lips that he’s trying to suppress.

she looks at you expectantly, and you hesitate before realizing she’s waiting for you to flip over the second card. you cheeks heat as you read it, but you try not to let it show. “the… lovers?”

she smiles, and although her face looks kind you have a sense that there’s something she’s not telling. “the lovers,” she says, almost solemnly. “many people think this card is strictly about romance. and in some ways it is, but what it really represents is a choice. two diverging paths, two responsibilities. will you choose with your head, or with your heart?”

she stares at you for another moment, then looks back at jun. you both stay quiet and still, subconsciously hanging on her every word as she pauses, clearly having more to say. “having these two cards come up together… now, that’s fascinating for you two, isn’t it?”

you find yourself nodding silently, although you have no idea why. you feel jun’s hand in yours, warm and soft and grounding, and the smallest shiver runs down your spine.

“the lovers and the ace of cups are the potential for new beginnings and the fulfillment that comes with following your heart,” she says, her eyes locked with yours. “this is a very powerful and meaningful connection, but only if you make the choice that is most heartfelt. you must be willing to be your most authentic self and hold nothing back. keep your eyes open, and you will be rewarded with profound joy and happiness.”

immediately you turn to look at jun to see his reaction. he looks just as confused—but is that a hint of excitement in his eyes?—as you do. the woman’s words are… cryptic, to say the least, but it stirs up a feeling of excitement in the back of your mind that you’re trying to ignore. it probably doesn’t mean what you think it does, right?

"hey, wait, so what does—”

you turn back to look at the woman for another explanation, but there's no one there. the beach is empty except for you and jun and the slowly setting sun, a few boats tied up at the dock. you’ve walked so far down the beach that even the distant music has faded into obscurity and you’re left standing alone together, surrounded by nothing but the sounds of the waves. even the wind has died down, and it feels eerily quiet but in an almost comforting sort of way, to be alone together in a place like this.

"you believe in that kind of stuff?" you ask curiously as jun starts to walk away.

"mm… not really. but she seemed like a lonely old lady. i thought it'd make her day." he looks down at your entwined hands and squeezes lightly, almost teasing as you look up and see the grin on his face. "why, do you?"

you can't help the butterflies that instantly flutter to life in your stomach when you feel his warm hand in yours, but you shrug. "why not?"

jun doesn't reply, just nodding thoughtfully as you continue to walk hand in hand. 

with the way the atmosphere has suddenly changed, it feels like time has stopped as you meander your way along the edge of the water. you chat off and on with jun, but there’s a hefty amount of silence that neither one of you feels obligated to fill. talking to jun feels like talking to an old friend, and maybe it’s the beautiful scenery or maybe it’s the way both of you had found yourselves here looking for company.

after a while you come to a stop just below the rocks where you’d started. your footprints from where you’d run into each other are still visible, little indents in the damp sand, and it reminds you of what you were running away from in the first place. maybe you don’t want to run anymore. 

"well…”  jun says, inhaling slowly. "we should get you back to your friends. i'm sure they're looking for you."

"would it be so bad if i said i didn't want to find them?"

he pauses to gauge your reaction, and you don’t miss the flicker in his eyes as he looks at you. after a moment nods and points up the shallow cliffs, towards a little stone staircase worn down from years of being travelled on. "my hotel is just up there. if… if you wanted to stay a little longer? with me?"

you pull your lip between your teeth, looking up at him and the way the fading sunlight shines through his soft brown waves, and it only takes a second to make your decision. “i’d really like that.” 

it turns out that missing out on your friend’s party for a few more hours is an easy price to pay for more time with jun.

the door of his hotel room barely has time to shut before your hands are on each other. you tug him closer by shirt with an eagerness you rarely allow yourself and he immediately reciprocates, pulling you by the waist until you’re pressed chest to chest.

his hand skims over your collarbone towards your neck, and you shiver at the warmth of his fingers caressing the side of your jaw. he angles your chin upwards and leans in as you meet him halfway and your lips finally touch, a low sound escaping from your throat as his nose brushes your cheek.

he makes a soft noise as he inhales, deepening the kiss until you feel your knees go weak. his hand cups your jaw harder, trying to draw you further into him, unwilling to break apart. he kisses you so softly yet you can still feel the intensity behind every movement of his lips, exploring your mouth with a gentleness that feels more natural than anyone you’ve ever kissed before.

jun curls his arm around you tighter, and you’re sure he can hear how fast your heart is beating as he kisses you again and again until you’re breathless. you slide your hands away from his chest and start to undo the buttons at the front of your dress, but he stops you. you look up and meet his gaze as his hand on your cheek moves to wrap around your waist, carefully walking you backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed and you let yourself fall back onto it.

he lets out a quiet groan as you pull him down with you, landing on top of you and catching himself on his forearms beside your head. his face is inches away from yours, staring into your eyes for a beat before he presses down to capture your lips again.

his kisses feel like magic, and you almost forget exactly what you’re here to do. you’d be content to spend hours with his lips on yours and nothing else, but you’re quickly pulled away from it when he sits back and starts to slide his hands down your body, his nimble fingers skillfully undoing the buttons of your dress one by one.

he pulls the fabric away and lets it fall to the floor before leaning to kiss you again, and a grateful sigh slips from your lips at his touch. your fingers tug at his shirt and he breaks away once more to quickly pull it off over his head, tossing it behind him without a second thought.

your hands slide earnestly across his body, your fingertips trailing down his torso and the deep lines of his abs. his fingers brush over your swimsuit in tandem, tracing the cutouts of the fabric where your skin is visible and making you prickle with goosebumps at his touch.

he seems equally as content to just continue doing this, but eventually his hands make their way upwards and gently slip the straps off your shoulders. he doesn't move any further than that, waiting for you to move instead, his fingers resting at the base of your neck just beneath your chin. 

you follow his actions and shimmy the suit down, letting it bunch up at your hips. only then does he finally break apart from you, moving his mouth down to your exposed breast and letting his tongue glide over your peaked nipple. your skin tastes like salt and sweat, like sunny days and warm breezy nights, and he can't get enough of you.

the first moan you let out is like music to his ears, and immediately he craves more of them. he wraps his mouth around your other nipple while keeping his hands attached to your body like magnets, desperate to be the one to draw more of those pretty noises from your lips.

you lift your hips just a little and he quickly gets the hint, wordlessly pushing his fingers between your skin and the fabric of your swimsuit before tugging it all the way off. he pulls it down your legs and you help him kick it away, leaving you completely bare beneath him.

your hands slide across his shoulders and up the back of his neck, tangling in his hair with another moan that sends a shiver down his spine. you can’t help but roll your hips upwards against his body, squirming for more friction as your nails scratch at his scalp.

his face stays buried in your chest for a long time, moving between your breasts and planting wet kisses all along your skin. your head is spinning at the sight of this gorgeous man working his magic on your body, his hands wandering up and down with a tender purpose. you don't even know his name but you already know you're gonna be thinking about this night for months, probably even years. you're shocked at how good he is at this; there's a melancholy feeling looming in the back of your mind, knowing that this is probably the first and only night you’ll get to spend with him, but you don't have time to focus on that when you have the tingly feeling in your stomach to focus on instead.

despite not saying anything aloud you can tell exactly what he wants from you, and something about how easy this is sends a feeling of relief through you. all of the mistakes of your past hookups feel like a distant memory. there’s none of the empty conversations meant to do nothing more than fill the silence and the awkward, tentative movements that you’ve become accustomed to from strangers who aren’t familiar with your body. 

but something about the way jun touches you does feel familiar, like you’ve been waiting all your life for it, for him. his silence, something that most of your partners in the past had fought so hard to avoid, now only leaves more room for you to enjoy the sounds that often go overlooked: the wet hum as his lips connect with your skin, the distant crash of waves outside the window, the quiet whir of the ceiling fan.

jun leans down and kisses you again, shifting on top of you as his hand wanders down your hips. you pull him closer and let your hand travel a similar path, and you bite your lip in excitement when your fingers skim over the bulge straining against his shorts.

he lets out a strangled noise almost like a whimper at the contact but the sound only encourages you to add more pressure, soaking in his reactions. he whines again, pushing his hips into your hand and exhaling a shaky breath as you continue to palm him, feeling the hard outline of his cock as he struggles to keep his composure.

his knee is against your thigh and he repositions himself to press it higher between your legs, returning the favor and giving you something to grind on. instinctively your legs widen a little to give him easier access, and he rewards you with another hot, messy kiss.

you groan at the feeling, pushing your hips down towards him and rubbing yourself on him. it’s a little rough at first, but you’re already so wet that it doesn’t take long before his knee is coated in your arousal and you slide along him easily. 

after a minute he pulls back just an inch, giving you room to breathe, but one hand is still on your hip and the other curled behind you to support your neck. “good?” he asks breathlessly, and even though it’s clear as day that you’re enjoying this as much as he is, you still nod and give him an encouraging smile, and he returns it with a smile of his own. “just let me know,” he says, and the sultry yet sweet tone of his voice makes your heart skip a beat.

at your approval his hand begins to wander again, trailing over the top of your thigh. his finger slowly make their way down and you shiver, your hand stilled against his abdomen as you anticipate his next move.

you take this moment to get a good look at him; you’d been too shy to stare earlier on the beach, unsure how things were going to go. but now that he’s on top of you, shirtless and obviously just as eager as you are, you let your gaze roam unabashedly across his body. your eyes glide over his torso, the hollow slope of his collarbones and his hardened nipples, the deep-set grooves of his abs and the faint lines of his ribs beneath his skin. you want to reach out to touch him and run your hands over every inch of him, but you’re trying to be patient. and although you know your time here is limited, it seems like jun is only just getting started.

his fingers finally make it to your inner thighs, tracing the area around your pussy, but it’s still not close enough for your liking. you wiggle a little to try and encourage him, whining softly and letting out a little plea. his lips quirk up and he nods, his grip on the back of your neck tensing and tangling in your hair. 

his fingers finally brush against your entrance and you gasp, writhing at how gentle his touch is. he dips his middle finger into your heat before pulling it back out, trailing upwards to your clit to circle it for a moment before heading back down and repeating the process. it’s barely enough, yet it leaves you breathless almost instantly.

he’s staring down between your legs with an intense focus, spreading your arousal around before sinking back into you for more. and just when you think you can’t take it anymore, he pushes his finger in deeper, holding it still for a second even though you’ve already adjusted to it. he waits until you start moving, arching your back and trying to get him to go further, before he adds his ring finger and begins slowly thrusting both fingers in and out together.

you whimper and curse under your breath, trying to roll your hips to match his rhythm. he starts to curl his knuckles and you swear you see stars, despite the fact that he’s barely moving at all.

after a moment when you’ve regained the ability to breathe normally again you start to move your hand back against his bulge, shaky fingers dipping beneath the waistband of his shorts. you wrap your hand around him and your eyes widen at the thickness, the heavy weight of him in your hand and how you’re sure he must be aching by now. you feel the way his cock jerks when you squeeze ever so slightly, his fingers inside you freezing for a split second as his brain tries to process before he plunges them in even deeper, curling into you with even more fervor than before.

you hold him tighter and run your thumb over his tip, swollen and leaking with precum. he gets a little noisier with every move you make, unable to contain the pleasure he gets even from this. even the smallest touches from each other have both of you on edge in a way you’ve never felt before, drawn to each other like no one you’ve ever had before.

his clothes in the way are starting to frustrate you, so after another second you release his cock and move your hand up to the waistband of his shorts instead, trying to tug them down but it’s difficult from the position you’re both laying in.

“please,” you pant out desperately after having little success, and he obliges, pushing his shorts away as fast as possible before resuming his motions. he’s still almost completely ignoring himself as he continues to focus on you and only you, and his complete devotion gives you another boost of confidence.

now freed, his hard cock slaps against your thigh and you moan happily at finally being able to see all of him. it looks even better than it felt, thick veins bulging out across his length and his tip flushed a deep red. you wrap your hand around him once more, flicking your wrist as you start to jerk up and down.

his fingers curl upwards to massage the spot that makes your eyes roll back, and if you had any functioning thoughts left you would’ve marvelled at the fact that he was able to find it so easily, but you’re too busy arching your back against his pillow to think about that.

he can feel you starting to clench harder around him, making his fingers stutter inside you, so he pushes his other hand down on your hip to stop you from moving so much. he pulls his fingers out and your eyes dart back up to his face for an explanation, unable to stop the whimper that escapes from you at the loss, but the look in his eyes instantly puts you at ease. you can already tell he knows what he’s doing, and somehow he seems to know exactly what you need, so for once you don’t mind sitting back and letting someone else call the shots.

“can i fuck you now?” he murmurs, and it takes you a second to even hear what he said because you’re shocked at how low and rough his tone is since the last time you heard him speak. he wipes his fingers against the inside of your thigh as he waits for your reply, and you shiver at the cool wetness on your skin.

the best you can manage is a stuttered “yes”, and without a word of acknowledgement he pulls you off the bed, guiding you off your back and onto your hands and knees.

you let out a squeak at the sudden change but you let it happen, and a second later you hear his voice beside you, his breath warm against your ear. “still okay?” he asks, and despite the gruffness in his voice you can still hear the soft edge to his words.

“yeah,” you repeat, suddenly losing the ability to say anything else to express your pleasure, but somehow you know he understands. your stomach flutters at the low tone of his voice, steady and calm but so full of warmth and lust.

you feel the heat from his face move away from your skin, and you know he’s sitting up on his knees behind you. his hands slide down your sides, reaching under you to cup your boobs with both hands as he groans at the feeling. you let out a matching whine, pushing your hips back against him to feel his hard length against the soft flesh of your ass.

his hands still holding your breasts, he leans down over you to keep you flush to his body, your back pressed against his chest. he presses a kiss in between your shoulder blades, letting his tongue trace lightly over the ridges of your spine.

you grind backwards against him harder, your body on fire from his kisses as he starts to suck gently at the back of your shoulder. you’re not sure if it’s hard enough to leave marks, but you kind of hope they do, because then you’d be sure this encounter wasn’t a dream. what other explanation is there for the fact that you’ve not only met the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life, but that you’re currently on your hands and knees in his bed as he runs his lips over every single inch of you, waiting for him to fuck you? it’s too good to be true.

but it is true, and you know it when he pulls away to brush your hair to the side and expose more of your back for him. his fingers are still so gentle against your skin, his touch heavy but soft, and it makes you even more desperate for him.

after a while he lets go of you and leans back, taking his cock in his hand and gently tapping it against your ass. you groan and fall forward, pressing your face into the pillows and arching your hips up into the air. his hands slide down your sides, gripping your waist with a low groan as he leans forward to kiss the side of your neck again.

he finally pushes all the way into you, and it feels so good it takes your breath away for a second. you can feel your walls throbbing around him, struggling to adjust to the feeling of being so full in the best way, a way you haven’t felt this strongly in so long. it’s a feeling like no other, and it makes you wonder why you ever settled for anything else before this.

his hands are all over you like he can’t decide what to do first, but after a while they settle at your hips and give them an encouraging squeeze, waiting patiently for you to set the pace. finally you bring yourself to move, tipping forward to let him slide out of you just a bit before you lean back into him.

he adapts quickly to your rhythm, thrusting in and out and matching your pace, using his grip on your waist for leverage to push himself deep inside with every stroke.

“fuck,” he moans under his breath, finally breaking the silence, and with just that one sound you feel yourself starting to let go.

the words tumble out of your mouth and you ball your fists into his sheets, clinging to the bed to keep you grounded while your head is spinning. “please, please, yes—”

everything finally hits you all at once, like a tidal wave pouring over you as you fall forward and bury your face into the pillow with a broken whimper.

“don’t stop, please,” you whine breathlessly. your words are muffled by the pillow, but you can tell he’s heard them because his grip on your hips tightens even more, slamming into you with just as much force as before and carrying you through your orgasm.

jun has to bite his lip not to sail right over the edge with you, focusing all his energy on holding himself back until he feels your body go limp all at once, the waves finally subsiding and you let out a deep, pleasured exhale. he’s so close he can practically taste it, his skin flushed and damp with sweat and his abs burning with exertion. only once he’s absolutely sure that you’ve finished cumming does he let himself break, pulling out as fast as he can and wrapping his fist around his length with all the energy he has left.

he moans weakly at the loss of your tight, warm walls hugging him so perfectly, but the view as he jerks himself over you all but makes up for it. the sight of your ass pressed flush against his thighs, your lower back arched and on display like a gorgeous blank canvas, and it gives him such a rush until he can’t hold on anymore.

the warm, sticky liquid hits your back and you whimper into the pillow, instinctively lifting your hips even more towards him. his cum spurts out in thick ropes, painting your skin and pooling in the little divot at the base of your spine, running down your ass until it feels like you’re soaked in it.

he finally pulls back and lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding in, groaning as he sees you sitting still on the bed with your hips in the air. you feel the bed shift with his weight as he gets up, but you don’t pay any attention to it as you focus on trying to steady your breathing instead. something in your gut tells you to stay put, and sure enough, a minute later you hear the sink running and then feel the cool fabric of a damp washcloth brushing over your back.

he lays his hand on your ass and gently gives it a little squeeze to signal that he’s finished, and you finally fall over onto your side. you’re coasting on cloud nine, and everything feels both dulled and hypersensitive at the same time. the whir of the overhead fan is a little more prominent now, and the quiet drone echoes around in your brain.

“do you need water? or do you want a snack, or something?” jun asks, and while his voice still has a touch of shakiness as he’s recovering himself, you can tell his tone is back to the gentle and polite sound you’ve become used to hearing from him.

you shake your head, and he hums softly in acknowledgement as he points to the nightstand on the side of the bed closest to you. “there’s an extra water bottle there, if you need it. i haven’t opened it.”

you nod against the sheets, suddenly too tired to even think about forming words. jun climbs back onto the bed next to you, stretching out his long limbs and leaning against the headboard with a satisfied sigh. 

you surprise yourself when your body automatically reaches out for him, curling into his body and laying your hand across his forearm like a weight keeping him close. but what surprises you even more is when he mirrors the action, scooting closer to you and letting your head rest against his stomach. your first thought is that he makes a very comfortable pillow, and you let your eyes fall shut for a moment as your breathing returns to normal, wanting to savor this moment as you collect yourself and prepare to leave.

you open your eyes what feels like minutes later, but when you reach over to check your phone you realize you’ve been asleep for more than an hour. you inhale slowly and swallow, blinking a few times as the sore feeling in your hips reminds you of where you are.

instinctively, you start to panic a little. your friends are probably looking for you. you disappeared without telling anyone, and now you have to get back to your hotel and make sure you have enough time to sleep properly and get ready for the wedding in the morning. never mind that it was probably the best night you’ve ever spent with another person, and never mind that your friends are probably still out partying and haven’t even noticed you missing yet.

you slide off of the bed as quietly as you can, stumbling a little when your feet hit the floor. you crouch down to pick up your swimsuit off the floor and put it on, hopping on one foot as you slip each leg through the holes. it's darker outside now, but the street lamps and the moonlight shining through the sliding glass door that leads to the balcony of his hotel room are bright enough that it still feels like day. you're so focused on getting dressed and mentally running over your to-do list that you completely forget there's another person in the room until you hear his voice cutting through the silence.

“you don’t have to do that, y’know.”

you freeze and look up, your half-buttoned dress hanging loosely from your shoulders, your cheeks burning at the realization you’ve been caught.

jun swings his legs off the bed, crossing the room in a couple of strides before he’s standing in front of you. he’s wearing nothing except for the boxer shorts he threw on right before you fell asleep, and your cheeks flush even harder at the sight, despite the fact that you’ve already seen much more of him than this.

it takes every ounce of restraint you have to keep your eyes from straying, locked on his face before your gaze falls quickly to the floor where your sandals are left in a heap.

you didn’t mean to sneak off. but what else were you supposed to do? you hadn’t meant to fall asleep and stay as long as you did, either, and now you were stuck with the awkward conversation that always comes afterwards. the inevitable hurried goodbyes and uncomfortable tension as you try to put yourself back together and leave as fast as possible.

jun takes a small step closer to you, and despite all the confidence you know he has, it feels almost… tentative. as if you’re meeting for the first time and he isn’t sure whether or not he’s allowed to touch you yet.

there's a lingering feeling that you can't quite put your finger on yet. it's conflicting, because you know you can't stay but everything in you is screaming not to leave. maybe there's something you can do, anything you can do. is it all worth it? to turn your life around in a complete 180 for someone you barely even know— and yet, the last few hours that you’ve spent with him have been incomparably the best of your life.

after a moment he reaches out and starts to finish buttoning your dress for you, his fingers working them back through the loops with just as much care as he did when he was taking them off earlier.

“sorry,” you manage quietly, though you’re not even really sure what you’re apologizing for. a lot of things: sorry for running away, sorry for having feelings you probably shouldn’t be feeling, sorry for knowing this won’t work out despite the way you really, really wish it could.

but he just shakes his head as he finishes buttoning the last button. “i took it off. i can help you put it back on, too.” you can tell he knows what you had actually meant, but he’s ignoring it either for your sake or his. something about his words feels so easy, like all the problems in your head don’t mean anything anymore. here you are, an anxious and awkward and confused mess, and there he is, smoothing out the wrinkles in your dress like it’s something he’s been doing all his life.

he adjusts the strap on your shoulder with a gentle pat, but his hands linger for a few seconds longer than they should, and you lift your eyes to meet his. “can i kiss you again?” he asks quietly, and for some reason his choice of words sticks with you. not one final kiss, not a goodbye kiss, just again. like he’s refusing to admit this will probably be the last time you’ll ever see each other.

and you nod, and his hands slide up to cup your cheeks and pull you back into his lips, just as warm and just as soft and just as familiar as the first time. there’s something so innocent about kissing him, even in the midst of a complicated and confusing mess of emotions that makes you second guess everything. somewhere in the back of your mind you vaguely register that this is the last time you’ll ever kiss him, but as long as his lips are on yours it doesn’t matter. you’ll figure out how to deal with all that later; for now, the only thing you’re concerned about is the way he grips your chin and pulls you even closer.

it feels like hours later when you finally pull away, letting out a slow exhale as you try to blink yourself back to reality, and you know what has to happen now. “can you find your hotel on your own? do you want me to walk back with you?” jun asks, and you can feel the hesitancy in his voice.

“it’s not far,” you sigh quietly, turning away to slip your feet into your sandals that wait by the bed where you’d taken them off earlier. you should’ve said yes. “but… thank you.” your words hold a sincere weight to them, and it’s silent for a few seconds as you cross the room quicker than you want to.

“you could stay,” he says finally, but his hand is already on the doorknob and you both already know the answer. you hate that you have to be the one to tell him no, even though it’s been clear from the start what the outcome would be. you give him a small shake of your head, and he pulls on the knob. 

he stands and stares for a minute, watching you walk down the hallway and praying you’ll turn around. and then you do, glancing back at him over your shoulder, and he almost allows himself to have a little bit of hope that you might come back, even though you both know you can’t. when you find him still standing in the doorway your eyes light up just the slightest bit, and finally you disappear with a tiny little wave.

the door clicks shut again, and the silence that follows is louder than anything he’s heard all day.

“and you didn’t even get this guy’s number?!”

you wince at the tone in jeonghan’s voice, rubbing the back of your shoulder guiltily. “his name, either.”

“even after the magic old lady said all that shit about soulmates?”

“she didn’t say that!” you huff. your tone rises almost defensively, although it probably has no reason to. she didn’t say anything about being soulmates… right? “she said something like, ‘keep your eyes open for stuff around you’. but he said he didn’t even believe in it, anyway.”

a waiter carrying a tray of champagne glasses walks past, and he snags a couple of them, holding one out to you. “well, it doesn’t sound like you’re keeping your eyes open. it sounds more like your eyes are closed, actually. are you blind?”

you scowl and take the glass from him. “my flight home is tonight, hannie. i’m not gonna see him again.” you take a sip, letting it sit in your mouth for a second before you swallow. “and besides, he said he was here for a wedding, too. he could be from anywhere in the world. it would be impossible to find him.”

“doesn’t hurt to at least try.” you both stop in front of a circular table covered in flowers, with a little placard next to one of the plates with jeonghan’s name on it. “i guess this is my table. you want me to help you look for yours?”

you shake your head, pointing to a table a little ways away. “i saw mine on the way in, it’s over there.”

“whatever,” he hums at you, but you know he’s just teasing. “i still wouldn’t blame you if you ditched and ran off to try and find him.”

“not happening!” you call over your shoulder as you walk away, matching his playful tone. but you can’t help but feel like maybe he’s right.

jun taps his fingers against the table, staring mindlessly at the bubbles floating in his glass of champagne. he’s stuck in his head— no, that’s not right. that’s not the problem. you’re stuck in his head. it’s nearly a full day later and he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you, the taste of your lips, the feel of your breasts in his hands, the scent of the shampoo in your hair. if that wasn’t the most perfect hookup in the history of hookups, then he doesn’t wanna know what is.

he still feels bad for not even paying attention during the ceremony, because he was too busy imagining you and him up there on the altar kissing instead. god, what he wouldn’t give for another kiss like that. but just like you, he knows it never would’ve worked out, and despite the what-ifs that are chewing him up inside and the fact that he definitely, absolutely, totally would’ve tried to make it work however large the distance was, he knows it’s probably for the better. even if it means he’s gonna spend the rest of his life pining after a girl he met on vacation for less than a single day, and he’ll never even know your name.

he takes a swig of his champagne and tries to put on a cheery face. this is a wedding, after all, and he can’t afford to spend all his time pouting when he’s in a beautiful city by the seaside enjoying delicious food and near perfect weather.

and then he sees you.

not really, of course, because it’s probably the champagne going to his head after chugging the majority of his glass like a frat boy at a college party. but then he blinks, and it really is you, wandering around for a second before you sit down at a table on the other side of the venue, wearing a soft blue dress that’s even prettier than the one he saw you in yesterday.

he blinks again, not fully believing that it’s you and not just the combined effect of the alcohol and his daydreams, but you’re still there when he opens his eyes again. and he knows it’s you, because he can see the faint hickies on your back and shoulders that you clearly tried to hide with makeup but couldn’t fully reach.

the chances that he’d see you again—not even that, but the chances that you’d be attending the very same wedding he was—must be one in a billion. maybe even more. yet there you are, picking at your nail and staring wistfully at your empty plate as you wait for the reception to start.

he stares for another minute, just to make sure you’re actually real, before he stands up and makes his way to the terrace at the back of the venue where the groom is standing next to a tower of cupcakes.

“gyu,” he greets him, “hey. are we allowed to switch tables?”

“i… don’t think so?” mingyu hums, a little off guard by the sudden question. “i made sure we put you next to hao, but—”

“if i give you twenty bucks, can you put me at table 8 instead?” jun’s eyes flicker with desperation, and he has to force himself not to look back over at you.

mingyu whines apologetically and hesitates, glancing at his bride a little ways away as she talks to a table full of guests. “she did all this planning, jun, i can’t just change everything now…”

“it’s not changing everything.” jun pulls his wallet out of his pants pocket, already rifling through the bills. “i’ll make it a hundred. mingyu, please, just switch me,” he says.

the whine in jun’s voice makes him pause, and he bites his lip as he considers it. on one hand, he could have his brand new wife a little bit mad at him for a while (who’ll probably forgive him the second she gets in bed with him tonight), plus get to help his friend and get an easy hundred dollars out of it. or, on the other hand… he could not help him, and his wife would never know, and jun would probably hate him for some unknown reason even though he doesn’t think jun has a single bone in his body capable of hating anybody. the decision is easy.

mingyu takes the bills from jun’s hand and stuffs them in his pocket before anyone can notice. “go ahead,” he says, tossing his head in the direction of the table. “i don’t know what it is you want, but don’t let anybody see you.”

“thanks! i owe you!” jun grins and hugs him, letting out a noise almost like a squeal before he turns and dashes away.

you’re barely paying attention to the reception anymore as you sit with your chin in your hands, again mentally running over all the things you need to pack and how on earth you’re going to be able to board your flight tonight and leave everything behind. the beaches, the city… and him. how are you supposed to just get on a plane and get on with your life, knowing that he’s out there somewhere in the world, and you’re never going to see him again. 

you’re trying not to sulk, but you can’t help the way your mood has been sour all morning, already filled with regrets and you haven’t even left yet. maybe you should’ve skipped the wedding altogether and spent another day in his bed, wrapped up between his sheets and lying in his arms. but then the rational part of your brain reminds you that he was also in town for a wedding, so even if he’d wanted to or even been okay with doing that, he probably had other plans anyway.

you’re still trying to figure out what to do about your hopeless situation when you hear a sound close behind you. it startles you into putting a smile on your face, preparing yourself to socialize although you really aren’t in the mood to.

“is this seat taken?” jun asks as he pulls out the chair to your left and sits down.

your brows furrow in confusion, trying to place the familiar voice, until you turn around and your jaw drops when you see who it belongs to.

you stare at him in shock, your eyes darting back and forth between his trying to figure out what to say. “you’re not joshua,” is the best you can come up with as your mouth hangs open and you whip your head around to check the list of names assigned to this table. you recognize them all, yet here he is: the nameless stranger you’ve fallen so helplessly in love with in so short an amount of time.

he smiles at your reaction, and it’s such a genuine smile that you know he’s feeling exactly the way you do right now. “i guess you’re right. i’m not.” he brushes the name card in front of him to the side and sets his own down in its place instead before he holds out his hand to shake. “it’s nice to meet you. i’m jun.”

you pause for a minute, staring at his hand. you can’t believe this is real, you can’t believe he’s real; you’d almost been able to convince yourself that the whole encounter last night was a fever dream, if you hadn’t woken up in the morning with a soreness between your legs that screamed that it definitely was not a dream.

finally you reach out and take his hand, and even in that little touch you can tell it really is him, from the way your heart picks up when you feel the familiar softness of his skin and the gentle squeeze that sends goosebumps down your arm.

“it’s nice to meet you, too.”

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[theygender]

My gf and I just completed an extremely taxing move almost entirely on our own that was made even more difficult bc we were moving out of a roach-infested apartment and trying to make sure we didn't take any with us. We weren't able to pack anything up in advance bc roaches love cardboard boxes so we had to pack everything day-of (after thoroughly inspecting it all) and then immediately load the boxes into my car. One of my friends got COVID and another was having a chronic pain flareup so they couldn't help, and Trixie's friends who had all said well in advance that they were going to help us move on Saturday all bailed on us when the day actually came. Saturday was also the only day we could take our old furniture to the dump, but due to no one showing up to help we took too long to load it and missed our window and had to pay junk movers to come get it from us instead. My partner and I have spent the last five days doing nothing but packing and moving furniture and boxes (up and down stairs at both locations) making countless trips back and forth, and in between all of that I've also had to deal with pet sitting AND my college assignments. We were down to the wire today on our very last day to vacate our apartment, on a Monday when both of us had to go in to work bc we didn't know we would still be moving after not having any help on Saturday. We are both mentally and physically exhausted, and now that it's all over here we still have to unpack all of our everything

BUT! We're in a nice new apartment now with no roaches! It's bigger and it's pretty and it has two (2) bathrooms and a balcony and a fireplace and lots of windows that let in natural light and we (and our cats) absolutely love it. We're so so happy to be here and to no longer have to put up with our old place

And although we had to get rid of our couch and mattress for fear of roaches, we found a new couch and a new mattress that are even better than our old ones at very good prices (the mattress is queen-size! the couch folds out into a sleeper for our friends!)

And while I was carrying a box in I ran into one of my new neighbors who was walking his dog and he gendered me correctly, confidently, multiple times without hesitation. His puppy started pulling on its leash to try to run over to me and he jokingly told the dog "You can't help them. You can't help them! You don't have any hands, you can't help them!"

And then when I went to the store to pick up more supplies a woman stopped me to really excitedly tell me that my hair (side-shave mullet) was "so fly"

So yeah. All in all. I think I've had a great weekend

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/25/22

where the fuck were we

listening

Tongue by Rêve. i do not care for this latex aurra sing album art, but this instantly went on the "somebody come fuck this (GAY)" playlist. a fun danceable party bop about oral. other than a concerning line regarding "gamey like venison", what more can you ask for. spotify

Yeah Yeah Yeah by Blood Orchid. starts out with some very straightforward drums and then gets SLUDGY. this makes me want to sing along with the chorus with as much vocal fry as i can manage. i think the band is american, but the pronunciation of "yeah" is something i have only heard from posh brits? i think it works here. spotify

Praising You (feat. Fatboy Slim) by Rita Ora. this is somewhere between a cover and a reimagining? fun if you already know and like the original, fun if you don't. short, peppy, got me through a lot of mopping on saturday. spotify

reading

very long title by susan pinsky. checked this out mostly for any advice on moving, which was limited to two paragraphs that said "get rid of everything possible, the most efficient packing is not always the thing that will get you through a move in one piece, hire people to do everything for you if possible". this was unhelpful to me.

the author is not adhd, but is writing it out of the experience of having an adhd daughter and a ton of clients who probably had adhd. it feels like it is largely geared toward people who have a wife or child with adhd. while the version i read had been updated, it did feel very out of date at several points, especially with regards to calendaring/planning systems and (if possible) forcing everyone to call you at your home phone so you can check your wall calendar that you keep on your wall and not double book yourself. like what.

while i had independently derived some of the specific tips through great trial and error and much of the book simply did not apply to me, it did give some interesting background on why specific things (open storage, clear bins, open shelving, the concept of having one or two shelves free as a staging area in each place you have shelves) work with rather than against us.

i can see this being useful to someone who has recently been diagnosed as an adult, or is managing a family with multiple adhd/otherwise neurodivergent members, but i certainly wouldn't buy it. her big thing is Get The Fuck Rid Of Your Shit while not really providing a lot of pointers on how to go about that, so i could see how pairing this with one of marie kondo's books might be helpful? neither pinsky nor kondo really give a whole lot of advice on like "so you're an adult, here are things adults have in their house to make their lives easier" so perhaps a third unknown book might complete the perfect trilogy. idk man. im cranky her advice about moving was half a page.

Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms, a collection of erotic lesbian fairytales edited by Sacchi Green. this was objectively fine. i skipped one completely bc it would have been a fucking hysterical short skit but did NOT translate to the page at all. as is ever the case with anthologies, some of them were decent, some of them not so much, almost none will stick in my brain even though there was some very nice butch representation. the one that does stick in my brain, Woodwitch by M. Birds about a princess trying to break a familial curse re: war, and a witch who follows the army, was memorable more for its leadup and acknowledgement of how a marching army works? like yeah! historically that is how armies move and camp and feed themselves huh, this is surprisingly well-researched for lesbian erotica!

the level of explicit erotica is...sort of on the same level as most modern f/f fic? this came out a good five years ago and people sure are having sex on the page, but there's a lot of metaphor and various other veiled imagery.

unfortunately, i want to read about women gettin absolutely nasty with it. i want to read about a pussy written with the same fervor as the average m/m cock in fanfic.

it's misogyny is what it is.

watching

rewatched For A Few Dollars More (1965, dr. Leone). in my heart he fucked that old man

You Can't Win Em All (1970, dir. Collinson) bc a very western-ish screenshot had me absolutely baffled about why a mauser was in a western. this is not a western, this is about some american mercenaries during the 1922 turkish civil war. this is not a very good movie (my main beef is that it spends twenty minutes trying to convince itself why its leads should work together, and the contrivance it lands on isn't particularly compelling or comprehendible after carting through us a whole bunch of other failed inciting incidents). this movie doesn't even manage enjoyably bad, but it sure is a spectacle of a war movie. great calvary columns riding through the prettiest goddamn landscapes you've ever seen. all forms of transportation are covered, including "armored train" and "trio of biplanes". my personal tolerance for exotic travelogue movies is fairly high, yours may not be.

if you want an actual cowboy western with different triple-crossing american mercenaries played by burt lancaster and gary cooper, Vera Cruz (1954, dir. Aldrich) is like a proto-revisionist western? quite a bit darker than i expected for 1) an american western made in 2) 1954

playing

sort of tied in with the making section-- i am deeply unhappy with how much time i am spending with fallou/t 4 bc it is not a game that makes me happy. however, the startup cost to finding a new game that makes me happy is pretty steep. so i spent some time on saturday flinging games into various folders, bc i forgot that was a thing steam lets you do now. maybe a different organizational system will fix me.

do not need to look at again: lots of demos and prologues from my old job, a couple things that aren't on steam anymore, some stuff that came in bundles that i'm not interested in, any strategy games.

done: my time with this game is at an end but i may want to return to a handy list to remind myself of what i have finished. lots of short indie experiences, wolfen/stein the new order, night in the woods, the portals, firewatch, things of this nature

old faithfuls: fnv, fo4, dishonored, sable bc i love simply zooming about.

hard bounce: this is mostly to make myself stop trying to click with hollow knight. i am never going to like fiddly platformers. and that's okay.

try again later: i'm deeply annoyed i'm not clicking with hardspace shipbreaker bc on paper it's the perfect fucking game for me. in practice even after fucking around with all the sensitivities it's still too fiddly for me. i need much, much more forgiving games with a shotgun-close-enough mentality.

making

important moving prep: cleaned out the storage unit that still had the dregs of my last move plus boxes from three grandparents and my mom. this took three full fuckin days bc it was extremely hot, i had to stop to cry a bunch, and a lot of goodwill trips.

the great thing about siblings is that if you've been caretaking a family heirloom that makes you feel weird due to your fractious relationship with the dead person in question, you can foist it off to a sibling who had a completely different less fractious relationship with the dead person in question.

once again i have failed to take a pic of the baby blanket in real daylight but we are slowly chugging along, halfway through repeat 6/10

[ebdanon]

the move was fast and furious because i was losing my mind with all the shit that was happening. basically i called my parents to ask if they were free tomorrow to come over, help pack up and pick up stuff in their car. surprisingly they agreed. my husband called up a few friends to help packing (that bit truly felt like i was in my 20s lmao) because my dad can drive but doesnt lift anything heavy. not because he cant, in fact physical exercise has been recommended to him for decades. he just doesn't want to do it and suffers the consequences of random aches and pains for it. my husband could barely function with the symptoms still (a lot of trial and error with his diet), so it was down to me and my mom, and the friends he got to pack up stuff. but then my husband got annoyed with my dad and started helping too (he literally asked my mom to carry his jacket because "its too heavy" wtf?!) bc my dad picked the worst spot in the apartment to sit in and scroll his phone. wasnt even chatting with anyone, dude was just on his phone complaining how we were moving too slow every once in a while, because he wanted to get home faster. the rest of us packed up the majority of stuff, only the bulky and fragile things were left for a second trip, and we left the apartment.

we got to my in laws house, and my in laws invited my parents in. that was the first and last time anyone related to me has been inside this house. we unloaded both cars, and passed out from exhaustion, planning on unpacking over the next few days, before driving back with my parents to pick up the rest of the stuff we left behind (they offered to help) the following weekend. that's when my fil's father passed away suddenly. see, my husband's grandparents had been together for over 60 years, and they loved each other deeply. when the wife passed away six months before, the husband was completely lost on what to do in life without her. he kept saying he couldn't live without her, and started giving away stuff to his kids and grandkids. money, valuables, etc. he even gave me a ring, which my mil pressured me to sell asap because "it was probably magical and cursed". she regularly threw away anything that came from their house out of fear of being cursed. what she didn't know was the way that couple looked at my husband and i's relationship. they were incredibly happy for us and were actually the only ones that treated me like family long before we married. i had a shared love for plants with my husband's grandma (she had a whole ass amazing garden) and after she passed, her husband got me a plant because he knew how much i loved them. that's the only thing my husband and i have left to remember them by. my mil doesnt know it came from him and its been sitting in her living room ever since we moved, along with the rest of the plans my husband, best friend, and parents have given me throughout the years. a chunk of the plants died last year because i just didnt have time to look after them with everything going on. the funeral for my husband's grandfather was scheduled on the same day we were supposed to go back to the apartment to finish picking up what was left. we canceled the trip, and i asked my parents if they could do it the next day (sunday instead of saturday). they said no, the had plans in the evening. i asked if they would be able to come if we left at dawn and finished by noon. again, no, they had plans in the evening.

the plans they had were the following: my sister is a makeup artist and opened a studio a year before. she was throwing a party in honor of having a studio for a year. she invited me a couple days after we got into town. i said id likely go unless i definitely couldn't because of external circumstances because i was mid moving, with time running out because the day of her party was the last weekend of the month. (we had to give the apartment back by that sunday, the day of her party, because we couldn't reasonably ask anyone to take off work during the week to come help, the weekend is the only available time. and we couldnt afford another month of rent and bills) she got mad and hung up. and proceeded to not speak to me for a few months. i mean she was already avoiding me for some reason but i guess this was the last straw. and then the funeral happened, so we couldn't actually even go to her party. instead of my parents, my fil came at the crack of dawn, right after his dad's funeral, to help pack and move and we hired a moving van for whatever we couldnt fit inside our car. we scrambled to find a van the day before the funeral, two days before moving, when my parents said they couldnt help. because of my sister's party in the evening. we were packed and on the road within two hours because not much stuff was left. so we were finished in 6 hours total. but they couldnt help. im highlighting this because its one of the handful of times ive been truly desperate enough in life to ask for their help. the last time i did was years ago, when my husband and i started dating, when we were gonna go on our first vacation together. we needed someone to drive us to a meet up point for the trip through a travel agency, because neither of us had a car at the time. my parents took us to the meet up point, and then my dad started screaming at the travel agent because the group was late. in front of everyone. they were an hour late and informed us and he knew they'd be late. while he was going off on the agent, i was trying to open the trunk of his car so we could get our luggage. i repeatedly asked him to open it but he was too busy screaming. the entire group avoided us for the rest of the trip. and he spent the hour they were late complaining about the lateness and how he was taking time out of his day to do something nice only to end up suffering. so yeah i only ask when extremely desperate because i know its gonna go to shit somehow.

we got back and that's when my mil started complaining. and screaming. and talking shit more than ever before. because we brought stuff to the house and there was no room. because we had to was everything after haphazardly packing so her dishwasher and washing machine were being used. because she didnt know what my husband could eat or not (we finally learned of the low fodmap diet which has helped my husband immensely) so she could make lunch. she complained about making lunch. she complained about cleaning up afterward. she complained how no one was helping her. even though both my husband and i kept trying to help. she would literally rip things out of our hands so she would be the one to do it. because thats how she'd get to complain about it. here's a brief example: she'd ask my husband what he wants for lunch. he's give a suggestion. she'd say she cant make that and start screaming how he's doing that on purpose, he's not sick and never was, shes the only one trying to get him better, and basically throw a tantrum. the lunch she'd cook would then be whatever she felt like eating. i wasn't allowed to even step into the kitchen. or in many other places in the house. oh by the way, the house has two kitchens. only one is in use, on the ground floor, so "the rest of the house doesnt smell". there's a second, new one on the first floor. the fridge has barely any essentials. the pantry is stocked. the only things in regular use are the sink to wash up everything after meals, despite having a functional dishwasher, and the coffee machine. why not use the dishwasher? i still dont know. here are some of the things that we brought and still use on a daily basis from the kitchen, which means they take up space and bother her: coffee cups we got as gifts, a reusable water bottle, boxes for food storage, two pairs of tongs, a spatula, measuring cups, a loaf pan, everything else we got for the pantry my husband can eat and a couple of boxes of tea. it's like 30 things, and im including the dozen or so boxes in this list but not the pantry. and the pantry is just one cabinet. two kitchens, she's bothered by 30 things. there's a bathroom on each floor. one functional shower on the first floor. one washing machine on the ground floor. in terms of storage, most of the stuff we brought is in the shed, because there's no room in the house. we store whatever we can in the bedroom (which we had to furnish overnight btw, because a week into us moving here, my fil told my husband that he sold all of the furniture from that room, including the childhood beds my husband and his sister had that we were using, and the people would be coming over to pick up what they bought in a couple of days. so we went out to pick out and buy a bed and paid extra to have it delivered asap. we continued living from our suitcases because the wardrobe and nightstands we got arrived later) now, in terms of other space in the house. my in laws, aside from the brick shed, use multiple rooms throughout the house for storage. one room for example is for their wardrobe. another is for random stuff + more clothes. a third one is set up like a second living room but no one goes in there. overall, weird way of living. so we got another cabinet in the dining room, where we could store stuff like my books and art supplies, my husband's personal care stuff and tech equipment. a drawer for meds. and a whole ass bathroom! (technically only the toilet and sink are useable, the rest is filled with plastic drawers my mil uses as more storage). there's 0 room for us anywhere so we've set up our laptops and other work equipment in the dining room, on the dining table that no one was using anyway. the week after the bed situation, when the storage spaces still hadnt been assigned so our stuff was just living in the boxes we packed, we woke up to find all of the dining room setup missing. turns out my fil was annoyed at looking at the dining table all filled with stuff, he took the liberty of clearing out one cabinet they were using, and storing everything in there.continued lmao~

why is there not a single parent in your life that is capable of being normal

[fruitcoops]

Could we please have a prequel to the praise kink fic? Because i really want to know why were Sirius and Remus not together and what did Remus send him. I really need context

I was hoping somebody would ask for this!! The aforementioned fic is here for any curious souls (18+ please) and SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for spicy texts (not exactly nudes), and smutty feelings with nothing explicit

The bus went over a bump and Sirius winced as his shins knocked against the back of the seat in front of him, connecting with the metal brace inside. “Fuck.”

“You sure you don’t want to switch?” James asked next to him. Sirius glanced down at the veritable wall of gear and empty snack bags between them, then back to James in disbelief. He shrugged, then set his headphones back over his ears. “Worth a shot.”

“Merde,” Sirius hissed as a pothole nearly took off his kneecap. He gritted his teeth and readjusted, drawing his legs closer to his chest. I want to be home, he thought, allowing himself an internal moment to whine.

He checked his phone—not even ten in the morning. It was a Saturday, so Remus would probably just be rolling out of bed, still sleepy and soft with his hair sticking up like a disgruntled cat’s. Sirius sighed heavily and stared out the window at the small town rolling past in the distance; there was little he wouldn’t give to be back with him instead of on the way to a full week of conferences.

“Why did we have to win the Cup?” he grumbled.

James lifted one side of his headphones. “What?”

“Nothing.”

It wasn’t like they had had much time to themselves before that, either—Sirius’ schedule was packed with interviews that felt more like interrogations, and Remus had been running the PT department mostly by himself while Moody took a well-deserved vacation. They were dead on their feet every night, worked to the bone with little energy left to do more than cuddle and fall asleep. Still, Sirius was grateful for every second of it.

He waited ten more minutes before giving in.

New Message To: Re

Bonjour mon loup <3

There was no immediate response, which made sense, though he was a little bit disappointed. Sirius closed his eyes and tried to make himself relax; it would be at least another six hours before they arrived at their destination, and the bad weather gathering overhead didn’t bode well for quick travel.

His phone buzzed gently and he scrambled to answer. Don’t be Reg, don’t be Reg, don’t be Reg—

New Message From: Re

Morning love!

Thanks for the bagels <3

“Fuck yes,” Sirius said under his breath. The bagels had been a last-minute decision as he crept through the house in the early hours of the morning after carefully detaching himself from Remus with a final half-asleep farewell kiss. There was no guarantee he would remember breakfast with everything going on, so Sirius figured it was a safe bet to toast them and leave them on the countertop before heading out.

Message To: Re

Pas de problem

Sleep well?

Message From: Re

Decent

Missed you :(

Sirius rested his temple against the cold window with a soft sound. He hated leaving at different times, but that was just how their life worked at the moment.

Message To: Re

Missed you too <3

Three small dots appeared for a long moment before vanishing without a trace just as his heart rate began picking up. Where’d you go? he almost wondered aloud. Something bumped his arm and James raised a quizzical brow. “Loops,” Sirius said by way of explanation.

“I figured. He okay?”

“I think so? He just…disappeared on me.” Sirius was well-aware of how plaintive he sounded—James’ teasing smile was completely unnecessary.

“Aw, Cap,” he laughed, reaching over to mess with his beanie until Sirius slapped his hand away. “It’s alright, buddy, it’s just a couple days.”

Sirius jammed his hat back on his head and flicked James on the unprotected bit of his ear, making him yelp. “Fuck off, I know you’ll be a mess as soon as Lily FaceTimes with my godson.”

“He has a name, you know.”

“Sorry. You’ll be a mess as soon as she FaceTimes with Pocket Pots, who happens to be my godson.”

James rolled his eyes. “I regret giving you that title.”

“Nah, you don’t.”

As if on cue, his phone lit up again; Sirius ignored James’ snickering as he quickly unlocked it.

New Message From: Re

When will you be at the hotel?

“That’s it?” he muttered.

Message To: Re

That was a lot of typing for one sentence

6-7 hrs, if the weather holds

Why?

Message From: Re

Sorry lmao Reg came in for a bit

Just curious :) Keep me updated?

Message To: Re

Will do <3

Tell Reg he needs to wash his sheets. It’s been over a month.

A small thumbs-up emoji was his only answer, and he tried not to be too bummed. Remus liked having things to do; sitting there and texting Sirius while he slowly got further and further away was probably not his preferred way to spend a morning. With a sigh that was likely a bit too dramatic for the situation he was in, Sirius faced the window once more and buckled in for a long ride.

He chatted off and on with the others when they stopped for lunch, but everyone was exhausted from the combination of a packed week and an early morning. Even Talker stayed fairly quiet, and James kept his headphones on for most of the trip.

Sirius finally succumbed to his tiredness and put some music on, then dozed for an hour or three while they traveled through yet another field. A few halfhearted calls of “cows” made their way around the bus, though nobody seemed particularly enthused about being packed in with double the gear due to a broken storage compartment. Donuts and gas station coffee could only do so much.

“Just crossed the state border,” Arthur called from the front of the bus as Sirius tried to ignore the cramping in his thighs. Three hours. Just three more.

His music was interrupted by a soft jingle alert and he pulled his phone out, hoping against hope that Regulus hadn’t caused a fire anywhere. It was unlikely given the…well, everything about him, but with Sirius’ luck it could happen.

New Message From: Re

How far?

Message To: Re

About 3 hrs. Ran into some detours

Good day?

Remus remained silent on the other end and Sirius frowned. That was rather rude, and highly unusual. Between the two of them, Remus was the one who kept conversations going past the initial question to be answered.

Message From: Re

Attachment: 1 Image

Love you! Call me when you get there : )

Sirius opened the attachment and almost threw his phone in utter shock. Skin. Bare skin everywhere, its smooth edges broken up only by tight black fabric that may as well have been painted onto the curve of Remus’ ass. “Oh my god,” he whimpered, voice barely audible even to his own ears. It had been taken in their bedroom mirror; Remus looked over his shoulder, and Sirius caught the corner of a devious smirk on his lips. “Oh, you fucker.”

Message From: Re

Thoughts? They’re cozy

Message To: Re

Did you miss the part where I said three (3) hours

Message From: Re

Nope

Second one is a guessing game and u get a prize if u get it right : )

The second photograph was more zoomed-in than the first and Sirius wracked his brain, running through his mental catalogue of Remus’ body to figure out the answer. It did absolutely nothing to calm the situation in his pants.

He had no idea what the promised prize was, but anticipation made his hands shake slightly as he carefully scanned the picture. The shadows caught it at an odd angle—it wasn’t the steady slopes of his face or neck, nor was it the strong curve of a shoulder. Not enough freckles, either, he thought.

A lightbulb lit in the back of his mind.

Message To: Re

Right hip

Another thought connected half a second later.

Holy fuck you took them off

Is that my prize?

Re?

Remus Lupin I swear to god

TEXT ME BACK

Message From: Re

Bingo!

Christ you’re impatient, I was gone for like 2 mins

He chanced a look toward Pots, whose head lolled to the side as he snored.

Message To: Re

Hey quick question why are you like this

It’s a good thing Pots is out cold bc this bus is too small to hide anything

Message From: Re

Haha sux to be you

Sirius’ cheeks heated with a whole cocktail of different emotions as he furiously typed a response.

Message To: Re

‘Sux to be you’???

Are you 13 yrs old????

Message From: Re

Do you want your prize or not u horndog

Message To: Re

YOU MADE ME THIS WAY

He took a deep breath through his nose and flexed his fingers.

Yes please

A simple smiley face—Sirius would never see those things the same—popped up, followed by an audio file. He triple-checked that his headphones were plugged in before tapping ‘play’ with an unsteady thumb.

His face went very, very hot before all the blood went straight to his groin and he closed his eyes, covering his mouth with his hand. Breathy sounds came through the heavy earphones, a little more crackly than they would be in-person; he heard Remus’ gasp catch in his throat and crossed his legs as best he could in the too-small seat, torn between thanking and cursing any higher power. He could practically see Remus’ face in his mind’s eye as the noises continued, intermixed with fragments of desperate words.

The file came to an end after what felt like the blink of an eye and a hundred years, and Sirius did not look away from the violently red seat cushion in front of him for a long moment as his brain came back online. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so turned on.

He took a few deep breaths, though it did nothing to erase the poorly-muffled whines that still rang between his ears like church bells. Sirius huffed and turned to grab his waterbottle out of his duffel, only to make direct eye contact with Finn across the aisle.

Sirius froze.

Finn grinned.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he hissed, too low to wake James but just loud enough to carry over the four feet separating them. Finn’s smile widened. “Stop it. Stop it right now.”

“How’s Loops?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“That good, huh?”

“O’Hara, I swear to god—”

“Oh, is Cap spilling secrets?” Kasey asked, poking his head over the back of the seat.

Finn opened his mouth, but the force of Sirius’ glare must have been enough to at least intimidate him a little, because he shook his head. The smug Cheshire grin remained. “Nah, just having a chat about our plans when we get home.”

Kasey groaned. “You’re a lucky man, O’Hara. Both your people get to come with you. Nat sent me a promise, like, twenty minutes ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. I won’t be available tonight from six to eight if anyone was wondering.”

“Did she really?” Finn looked back to Sirius, who bit the inside of his cheek and tried to keep his cool. Two and a half hours, and then he would be safe. Just two and a half more hours.

[365runesoftheamalgamations]

Happy STS to you, Natsume!!

Because I can't think of a question, here's a free invitation to ramble about Grayland's Shadow and what parts you're looking forward to writing!

hello and how are you?

Happy Storyteller Saturday, our dear Midnight! Thanks for stopping by, even if you didn't have a question or anything, it is still nice to see you!

And since you want a good ol' fashion ramble about Grayland's Shadow, then let's do some random facts and tidbits about the Story, considering the day and all! c:

We won't add the Tag List, only bc of the time, but this is a ramble and a long post, so fair warning now! (≧∇≦)/

Let's start off with random facts and thoughts!

For the most part, Grayland's Shadow is just as wonderful as all of our other stories: we adore it and love it and want to make it into a book, but we do find it fond and lovely just bc it was our first attempt at novelling! We even had it in our Google Docs as, "The Very Bad Attempt At Novelling" and we still hold onto that title, though it is much more fond now.

Grayland's Shadow was actually our very first attempt at NaNoWriMo, all the way back in 2015, and we kept at the story for some of the other Camps and NaNo's after, bc we really wanted to develop and create the story, even though it was very much flawed and disjointed and just pack filled with random scenes and tropes and things that we liked.

Our first draft was actually published on Lulu for a bit, just as it was, bc we honestly had no thoughts about editing and other things! We kind of just slapped the book together, threw it onto Lulu and copied what our sister did, who also did publish a book too on there, though hers was an actual one. o(≧∇≦o)

We kind of let the story sit for a long while, mostly bc we found it lacking as a story, and kind of got discouraged with it, bc it was so disjointed and kind of more of a mash up of words and ideas, that we just... buried it away and pretended it didn't exist for a long while.

But Grayland, as a character, did stick around! He is very much a vibrant character all by himself, and he weaved himself into such solidity that he became a very staple to the background of our World and Stories! And we found that, as we developed Grayland and his character, his story slowly came back into play and we could slowly change our view on it and how his story even goes and what we wanted from his book.

So this year, we decided to roll through the first draft, get it edited and torn apart and devoured in a different way, and make room for Draft Two! It might not be a Story we focus on for NaNoWriMo, but it is a story that we are more than ready to tackle.

Grayland's Shadow is so much more than just a random attempt we did while in highschool and trying to daydream about a writer; it is the story we want to publish with first. We want to show the Worlds that our Stories are something that can handle the tests of time. And we never really ever wanted to leave Grayland's Shadow at an attempt.

Also, a lot of what Neil Gaiman thinks about stories and their aging and their productions and everything else, helped us with coming back to Grayland. He waited almost ten years for his story to truly become what he knows it can be, and who are we to deny that? c:

And moving onto what parts we're looking forward to writing!

We think the most exciting bits of the Story that we are looking forward to writing are those starring Grayland! From his murders to his interactions with Mitch, to his attention to Molly, to his logical malice towards his own enemy, he has grown SO MUCH as a character, and we are so excited to write him as he is.

He isn't just the deranged and insane serial killer we had daydreamed about being more human than anyone wanted to believe. He is something more calculating, more logical, and much less stuck in Insanity than anyone would want such a monster to be, holding something that not even most could forgive, and giving forth a story that we think is so much more thrilling than just a murderer with a random change of heart.

This Ask Led To 100 Words! !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

Into The Ask Box: 10,533

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it

chapter 9 

a/n: idk why this chapter took so long, but here it is. for reference - in gymnastics, US Championships are the last meet before Olympic Trials, they’re a two day competition. any feedback is welcome. i’m kinda upset that this series (or at least this part) is almost done, but there is more to come with this series i promise. also had to repost bc it wasn’t showing up in the tags 

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23 @iwantahockeyhimbo @dreamsndior @itsurgirlgracie @heartshapedkissxs @lwstuff @handwrittenheroes

warnings: uh, i don’t think there’s anything, but if i miss something just let me know (the jamie mentioned is jamie oleksiak, not j b*nn)

sticking it masterlist

wc: 5.8

(not my gif)

“Are you sure that you have everything?” Joel asked for the twentieth time in the past hour, “we can run back to yours if you need anything else”

“I feel like you’re just trying to get me to stay with you longer,” you said, skeptically.

“Is it working?”

“No, Bee, I have to leave at some point,”  you said, putting another bag of yours in his car,”I won’t be gone long.”

“Yeah, but you’ll be closer to the Stars and that has me worried,” he said, causing you to chuckle. 

“You worried about Seggy? Or Roope? Or Big Rig? Or Mi-”

“Okay, I get it.”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, I love you and only you, shawty. Besides, I can only tolerate Texas weather for so long,” you said, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

“I love you, too, shawty,” he paused,”Wait,- that was rude.”

After packing the last of your bags into the car, you made your way to the airport to meet Marcus and Michelle. Once you arrived at the airport, Joel parked the car before the two of you headed into the airport. The four of you caught up for a while before Marcus suggested giving you and Joel time to say goodbye. 

“Is this how it feels when me and the guys leave for the road?” Joel asked, softly. 

“Yeah,” you said, smiling sadly. 

“Well, good thing I’m the one on the road all the time, I mean, I don’t like leaving you, but when I’m leaving it’s a different feeling, you know.”

“Well glad it makes you happy, buddy.”

“Did you just buddy me?” Joel asked, incredulously. 

“Did I?” you asked, laughing as Joel gasped in shock.

“Wow, I see how it is. I’ll remember that.”

“Go ahead, babe. Remember it however you want,” you paused when you saw the sad look on his face, reaching to hold his face in your hands, “hey, I’m only a text away, I might not be right here, but I will answer as soon as I can and we’ll facetime as much as you want these next few days.”

Joel nodded before looking up and seeing Marcus and Michelle headed your way, “we hate to cut this short, but we have to get going pretty soon.”

“I know I asked, but do you really have to go?”

“Yeah, Bee, I really have to go.”

“You better kick ass out there or else you’re just leaving for nothing,” he said, jokingly, “but honestly, I wish you the best of luck - I know you don’t need it, but I’ll say it anyway. Make sure to tell Nicole I said good luck and please make sure to wipe that smug look off Kathryn's face. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you said, wrapping your arms around him as he pressed kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, but if you don’t go, the only thing you’ll be missing is your flight.”

“Wow, Bee, you are so funny.” 

“Well, one of us has to be the funny one in the relationship. Your mom jokes only get you so far far in life, babe,” he said, causing you to elbow him in the stomach. 

“I’m leaving now. I love you and I will text you when I land,” you leaned up for a quick goodbye kiss before grabbing your carry-on bag and heading to your gate. You avoided looking back, knowing that if you did, both of you wouldn’t let the other leave. 

“I think you chose a good one,” Marcus said once the three of you had sat down. 

“What?” you asked, shocked. 

“Joel. He seems like a good guy. He clearly cares about you and I can see that you care a lot about him, too. He clearly makes you happy,” Marcus added. 

Heat rushed up your face, to which you simply looked out the window, “yeah, he’s a good guy.”

“A cute one, too,” Michelle interrupted. 

“Yes, that too. But Michelle, you better lay off,” the three of you laughed as the flight attendants started to announce the safety procedures for your flight. The three of you did your own thing the rest of the flight: Marcus planning out how podium training would go, Michelle analyzing your routines, and you sleeping.

“Alright, so as soon as we land, we get luggage and go to our hotel. There is a small media event tomorrow morning before podium training, then podium training, then probably some more media. You will have the rest of the night to do whatever, I know you’ll probably go see your Dallas friends and that’s fine, just make it back in time. Then, Friday is the first day of competition, Saturday is the second day, then we have some free time Sunday,” Marcus read off to you, even with you half asleep. 

“Sounds lovely,” you grumbled. 

…..

“So, y/n, with your injury being a top priority, how different have practices been since you are still somewhat in recovery?” one of the journalists asked. You had stayed prepared for a multitude of questions having to do with your injury, so this question had an easy response.

“I would say, it’s definitely a totally new experience. I’ve had to tailor my focus to other aspects of this sport since the start of my recovery, whether that be drills, more conditioning, or changing up my routines. My team and I definitely have figured out what things work and what doesn’t and we continue to learn as I continue training,” you answered, swiftly. 

“Now obviously, you were the highest scorer in most of your competitions, even before your injury, how has competition changed for you? And what has inspired you to train harder?” another journalist asked. 

“I have to say, competition is slightly more nerve-wracking than before. I mean getting injured at a major competition definitely changes perspective for all aspects of it. I feel that I have to be more cautious when performing, whereas before I would just go with the motions. Something that’s inspired me has been that my competitors have continued training, I have a fair amount of competition - all of which are excellent athletes - which has helped motivate me a lot, but I also have an amazing support system back home who have made sure to give me that extra motivation when I need it,” you smiled. 

“Now, having to deal with that support system at home, who and how have they influenced your decisions of your journey through recovery?” which was the first question that made you smile. 

“Well first, a huge shoutout to my family, especially my cousin, Kevin. Without his support, I wouldn’t have ever tried to get back in the gym, he’s been there this whole time and I couldn’t be more grateful. Um, my coaches were so supportive of my comeback; my physical trainor, Adrian, who told me all the doctors were wrong and gave me the reality checks I needed; the whole Philadelphia Flyers roster and their families cheered me on the whole time, especially my boyfriend, Joel Farabee. My friends, my teammates, all of them pushed me where I needed to be,” you said, gratefully. 

“Thank you for your time, y/n. We wish you the best of luck this weekend,” the main announcer said to you before you went off to podium training. 

Marcus and Michelle had both told you only to warm up simplified versions of your routine, so that you could bring shock factor when you were actually performing. You had upgraded almost all of your tumbling back to where it was before injury, but no one needed to know that besides you and those in your gym. Podium training had gone very well, better than you had anticipated, so you were looking forward to how championships would go. 

As you packed up your gym bag and grabbed your phone, you saw all the messages you had from the Flyers group chat you had somehow found your way to. 

Bee: did you guys see that too?

Tiki Bar: if we are talking about the same thing, i think we did.

Patti Lapone: did she actually say nice things about us?

Kev: i really think the texas heat is getting to her already

G: she’s probably just feeling under the weather about competition, otherwise we might want to check if she is okay

Scotty: i think i misheard or i got hit in the head and didn’t realize it

Frosty: hell has frozen over

Bee: haha. frost. frozen. get it

Tiki Bar: beezer. 

G: i’ll make you do laps if you make another frost joke

Laughing at the texts in the group chat in reaction to your interview, you simply typed up a simple response: this is what i get when i’m nice, now you know why i’m not like this all the time. 

Luckily for you, you didn’t have to do any media after podium training, so you were able to leave whenever you wanted to. After checking with Marcus and Michelle, you made sure it was alright that you went off to go see Tyler and the rest of the guys. Assuming that they would be at practice, after changing out of your leo, you took the drive to the Stars practice facility.

Having come to Fort Worth so much for gymnastics and Dallas for a few hockey games, you had run into some of the Stars roster on multiple occasions. By the third time you had ran into them, and this time ran into was a very literal statement, you had exchanged social medias and most of the roster kept an eye out for any updates in your gymnastics career. During your recovery, the whole team constantly asked for updates about how you were and how gymnastics was going. 

Once you parked, you quietly made your way inside - not wanting to interrupt the practice. There were a few officials walking around, but most either paid you no mind or recognized you from times before you had been here. Walking towards the rink, your eyes settled on the boys doing laps for the last part of practice. It wasn’t until most of the guys were only talking and about to get off the ice that they noticed you. 

Tyler was the first to notice you, smiling and waving towards you, which caused most of the team to follow where he was looking and notice you. As the team headed to the locker room to change, you simply waited on one of the benches for them.

“I feel like you only came all this way to see my dogs,” Tyler said, making his way towards you. 

“No, I would never do such a thing, I obviously came here to say hi to you,” you stood up to give him a hug. 

“Mhm, whatever you say. Didn’t you have podium training today? How’d it go?”

“Well, it went pretty well actually. I did a few of my dismounts, but kept most of my landings safe just to be careful. But other than that everything went well.”

“As long as you kick ass tomorrow, I’m fine,” he said, honestly, “do you have anything else to do for the rest of the day or did you just come to say hi?”

“Well, I have no plans for the rest of the day, but I don’t want to intrude on any team plans.”

“You know you would never be intruding on anything with us, even if you are dating a Flyer,” Jamie O said from behind you. 

“God, Jamie, what the fuck? Where’d you come from?”

“Your mom’s house,” he said, earning a fist bump from Tyler. 

“I can’t even be upset, that was a good one,” you smiled as Jamie hugged you,”and don’t bring Joel into this.”

“My condolences.”

“Condolences? No one died?” you questioned.

“You are dating someone that plays for the Flyers,” Tyler said. 

“Damn, that’s harsh,” you replied. 

“Anyways, moving on. Me and a few other guys were coming over to mine for lunch and to hangout, if you want to come you are welcome to,” Tyler said to which you simply nodded. 

“Is that who I think it is?” another familiar voice rang out, causing you to whip your head around to see Roope and Jake heading your way. 

“Well, if you thought it was me, then you would be correct, my friend,” you retaliated. 

“I’m surprised they let you in here, considering you are dating a Flyer,” Otter said, jokingly. 

“Quit bringing the fact that I’m dating Bee into the conversation.”

“At least Nicole is in the safe zone,” Roope said, causing your eyes to widen, “y/n. What was that?”

“What was what?” you questioned as Roope simply narrowed his eyes.

“You did the thing.”

“What are you talking about, bestie?” 

“Oh, you have a habit of your face changing when you know something that will ruin the whole perspective or something or if you know a secret that will change the entire story. Very entertaining and concerning that you didn’t know,” Tyler added. 

“Um, well, didn’t expect to be psychoanalyzed by a bunch of hockey players today, but here we are.”

“Ok, I think we should head to mine and then, we can continue psychoanalyzing you,” Tyler suggested to which you all agreed. Roope, who had gotten a ride from Tyler in the morning, immediately hopped into your car as soon as you unlocked it. 

“What’s up with Nicole?” he asked as soon as you started driving. 

“What happened to hello? How are you?” you joked. 

“Listen, I’m asking now because I don’t want to talk about this with the guys there. But what did you mean?” he said, causing you to take a deep breath. It wasn’t like Roope and Nicole were ever together, but it was always an unspoken fling of sorts, that they never made official. 

“Look,-”

“Please, just tell me what’s happening,” he pleaded.

“Nicole and Nolan are sort of together,” you rushed out, causing a moment of silence to break out. You didn’t know what to expect as a reaction, considering they weren’t official and hadn’t really talked since the last time you and her were in Texas.

“Is she happy?” 

“Yeah, she’s happy.”

“Okay, that’s all I care about,” he said simply, which made your heart almost break for one of your closest friends. 

…..

Being able to spend time with some of your close friends that you hadn’t seen in a while was just what you needed to destress about championships. Maybe an intense game of uno with five of the most competitive people was exactly what some might call a destressor, but here you were. 

Tyler threw down his cards as he stood up dramatically, “no, because there is no way that a.) she already has an uno and that b.) all of you used your draw two cards against me.”

“Don’t be upset, Ty, that’s just how the game of uno is sometimes,” you replied, hiding a laugh. 

“Oh, shut up. I think you guys cheated,” Tyler accused. 

“I think you just don’t know how to play uno,” Jamie mumbled.

“Oh, yeah, real funny. I think you all teamed up against me and Jake dealt that way on purpose.”

“And we all think, you just can’t accept a loss in uno,” Roope added. 

“Fine, let’s settle this like men,” Tyler grabbed all the cards, attempting to shuffle them before accepting he couldn’t shuffle and handing them over to you to shuffle, “I’m watching you.”

“Oh, wow, so scared,” quickly shuffling them, doing a little bit more than usual to get Tyler off your case, you handed them back to him, “there you go.”

Another final round of uno, which ended up with you and Roope head to head as far as who would win, while Tyler had ended up with at least 15 cards to which Jamie was the first to speak up, “I think we should end here before someone gets hurt.”

“No, no, we’re fine. It’s fine. y/n, take your turn,” he said, eyes narrowing as he watched from beside you. Even if it was your last card, you dropped the draw 4, which made Tyler draw more cards. 

“Damn, that sucks,” you said, hiding a laugh. 

“What was that, y/n?” Tyler said.

“I said, damn, that sucks,” you repeated, watching Tyler closely as he stood up quickly once again, before practically chasing you. “Tyler, it’s just uno. Stop chasing me.”

“Oh, wow, ‘damn, that sucks’” Tyler mocked. 

As the other three watched, Jamie just grabbed the bowl of popcorn as they watched their friends running around chasing each other. “I see why we don’t play uno much,” Jake said. 

“Yep. Exactly. But no one listened when I advised against it,” Jamie said, taking a drink of his beer. 

“Tyler, watch yourself,” you said, as he stood on the opposite side of the couch. He started running one way, as you ran the other to avoid him, but he quickly sidestepped and caught up to you. Practically throwing you over his shoulder, he made his way out to the pool, “Tyler, let’s not do anything crazy here.”

“Oh, you mean like hold a draw four card until the end of the game,” Tyler said, as he tossed you into the deep end of his pool. 

“Children. Literal children,” Roope said, shaking his head, going to grab you a towel. 

Rising up from the water and quickly moving the hair out of your face, you swam over to where Tyler was, “hey, can you help me out?”

“Nah, I’m not falling for that one,” he stated. 

“Seriously, I won’t do anything right now, I promise,” you said, as you saw him reach his arm out to which you quickly grabbed and stood out of the pool. Walking towards Roope, who had grabbed you a towel, you turned back around to see Tyler still walking near the pool. Using this to your advantage, you ran and pushed Tyler into the pool. “Sorry, bestie,” you said, running to get the towel from Roope and running back in the house. 

After getting changed into one of Tyler’s extra shirts he had lying around, you were just hanging out with the guys when a familiar contact flashed on the screen to FaceTime, Jake who was right next to you immediately noticed, “ooh, better go talk to your man, y/n.”

“Shut the literal fuck up,” you called back, standing up to go the kitchen for privacy. Answering, you noticed that Joel was at Nolan and Kevin’s apartment, “were you that lonely without me, babe?”

“No, well maybe, but I’m helping them set up for the watch party tomorrow,” Joel said, taking a seat at their kitchen island, “how’d podium training go?”

“It went really well actually, I didn’t work the 3.5 just so that way I have something over their heads, you know. But other than that, it was all good. How are things at home?”

“Well, I mean no one is dead, which is always good. Um, debated getting a dog, my mom called, I told her about you. Uh, already told you about the watch party. I don’t think anything else interesting happened,” he said, shrugging as if he hadn’t just mentioned bringing you up to his mom. 

“Wait, you told your mom about me?”

“Well, she does follow me on Instagram, so after seeing the post she texted me asking and then she asked while we were on the phone. She wished you good luck, by the way. She’s  also visiting here with my dad in a few weeks and I’d really love it if you would meet them,” he said, shyly.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, of course,” you rushed out, hoping you didn’t sound as nervous as you were. 

“That sounded very unsure.”

“No, it’s fine. I just have never been at the spot in a relationship where I meet the parents, I’m just nervous. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Babe, my mom already loves you, she was getting on my case about not telling her, but she already thinks very highly of you and I definitely hyped you up a little bit. You have nothing to worry about,” he reassured you, which made you smile. 

“Hey, y/n/n,” Kevin yelled. 

“Hey, Kev.”

“You were very nice in your interview today, it had all of us worried,” Kevin said, which caused you to roll your eyes in response. 

“Hey, I can be nice sometimes.”

“On very rare occasions, yes,” Joel added. 

“Whatever.” As you talked a little while longer with the guys, eventually Roope and Tyler had come in to say hi to everyone as well, which had you dying laughing as both of them gave the ‘you hurt her, we fly to Philly and hurt you’ talk that almost everyone had given him. 

Telling Joel you would call him back whenever you made it back to your hotel, you stayed with the guys for another couple of hours before heading back to your hotel. Nicole had spent most of the day after podium training resting and had met you in the hotel lobby when you got back.  

“So,- “ she didn’t even have to finish her sentence before you knew what she was saying. 

“Roope is doing good, he said he hopes things are going well,” you said, watching as a small smile crept up her face. 

“Well, good to know. Did you know KD is also staying at this hotel?”

“Well, considering this is the host hotel and most competitors are here, I am not all that shocked.”

“Yeah, but you probably didn’t know she’s legit a few rooms away from us, did ya?”

“No, guess not,” you said, “how’d you find that one out?”

“Well, let me set the scene for you. I go to get ice and then I hear her talking with, uh, whatever her name is, Callie or Carly, it starts with a C. Anyways, they were talking about you and me and how our skills have been less than recently and all this stuff about you not catching up to where you were - which I found so fucking funny because who has won gold at the past few meets? Not her. Anyways, all is fair in the sport of gymnastics, but I’m just excited to see her reaction to you doing the 3.5.”

“Damn, no pressure there, Nic.”

“Okay, but the thing is, you have the skill,” Nicole said, as you got into the elevator. “You have it down. It’s all up here, in your cranium,” she said, pointing to your head. 

“Alright, let’s just go to bed now,” you said, slowly removing her hand and opening the door to your hotel room. 

…..

“Hello everyone and welcome to Day One of the 2021 US Gymnastics Championships. We are very excited to see how today’s competition goes as this competition will decide who makes it onto the National Team and who will qualify for Olympic Trials,” Joel heard the announcer say as he made his way to sit with everyone in the living room. 

“Did you talk to her this morning?” Claude asked from beside him. 

“Yeah, usual pre-comp anxieties. Nolan talked to her and Nicole to give the usual pep talk and then we talked for a while on their way to the arena,” Joel answered, looking back to the TV to see you prepping for bars, “she said podium training went well, but Kathryn was talking shit, so all I know is she better kick her ass.”

“You know she will, it happens everytime. She gets in her head and still does amazing, just a casual Tuesday,” Scott added. 

“It’s not Tuesday?” Travis questioned.

“Yes, I know,” Scott said, confusing everyone. 

“Alright, moving on,” Joel reiterated. 

“And starting on bars, we have y/n y/l/n. Now if you remember, less than a year ago, y/n was injured at another competition doing a beam dismount that she might be competing in today’s competition. She is definitely one to watch as she has a reputation of scoring high in these meets, before and after her return. Her teammate, Nicole Carter, will be following up.”

Joel watched as you stepped away from the chalk box to start your routine, he watched intently as you jumped from the springboard to reach the high bar. He watched intently as you went through your routine. Release skills. Giants. Pirouettes. More release skills. More giants. Dismount. Stuck landing. 

“A great start to Day 1 for y/n, who seems pretty proud of how that routine went,” the announcer said, “rotation two will be beam, where we might see that 3.5 twist, which is currently in the process of being named by Kathryn Davis, who was the first to compete it at a major competition. Now the question everyone is wondering is will we see this skill from y/n today?”

“She’s doing it. Fucking dumbass,” Joel grumbled at the announcer. 

“Damn, Beezer, tell them how you really feel,” Travis replied, as everyone else laughed at Joel’s behavior before watching Nicole compete. Nicole’s routine ended with a stuck landing, the camera following her as she made her way off the platform and hugged you before the two of you did your secret handshake.

Knowing the next event was beam, Joel waited as other competitors did their routines as you were warming up. He knew this moment would make or break how the rest of the meet went and with this only being your second event, it needed to go well. 

Everyone watched anxiously as you saluted the judges, shaking your hands out before you reached to mount the beam. You took a deep breath before actually starting your routine. Starting the beginning choreography, you kept your movements sharp and clean. All the skills in your routine were sharp - doing this so if the dismount didn’t go well, it hopefully wouldn’t affect your score too much. 

Joel had memorized your routines, knowing you were approaching your dismount, he saw your movements become slightly hesitant. Watching as you did a quick pivot on the beam to prep for the dismount, he watched you take a deep breath. 

“C’mon, babe. You got it,” he said, and by whatever power was listening he watched your lips twitch up to a smile as you started your dismount. Going for the round-off and starting the twists, you did the three and a half twists, opening up to find your landing, and stuck your dismount. Joel’s smile grew even more when he saw how happy you were with your routine.

The rest of Day 1 of Championships went well for both you and Nicole; the two of you ending in the first and place spot in all around, with Kathryn following close behind. After the competition, both of you had your media conferences before you made your way back to the hotel. As both of you checked your phone, you saw the multiple notifications from various social medias.

“Dude, did you see what Ryanne posted?” Nicole asked, a look on her face that you couldn’t easily recognize. 

“No, hold on,” you opened Instagram to see she had tagged you in multiple posts on her instagram story: starting off with a picture of all the guys wearing a jersey with your and Nicole’s name on it, a picture of all the guys watching warms ups intently, a video of Joel and Travis debating the name of a skill from Nicole’s routine (Travis was right), a video of Joel watching you do your beam routine and cheering you on right as you go for your dismount, and then a video of everyone cheering as you and Nicole as they announced the end of day 1.

…..

After falling asleep with Joel on FaceTime, you woke up to your 6am alarm to get ready for Day 2 of championship, Joel - who had told you he would wake up with you - was still sound asleep. Getting you and Nicole an apple from the lobby, you talked to a few of your competitors and a few fans before heading back to yours and Nicole’s room. 

“Wake up, bitch, it’s Day 2 of Championships,” you said, jumping to lay next to Nicole on her bed.

“Leave me to die here, I don’t want to go. USAG can suck a homeless man’s dick,” she mumbled into the pillow. 

“That’s truly something, wait til the media teams hear about that one,” you joked, only to get a glare sent your way. 

“You know what? You can suck on one, too,” she responded, pulling the blanket over her head. 

“Well at least, there's less competition,” to which she quickly peaked out of the blanket.

“Oh, you wish. We’re neck and neck this time, so we’ll see who gets bragging rights.”

“Well if you don’t get out of bed, then we’ll never know,” you said, to which she only sent a glare your way. 

“Do we really have to get up and compete today? Do you think we could petition to reschedule?”

“I mean, I’m sure if we talked to people, we’d get a lot of signatures, but I don’t think it would go over well,” you said, grabbing your garment bag that held your leo for today, “I’m going to go get ready because I know if we end up talking to Joel and Nolan first, we won’t be ready in time.”

After you got ready, both you and Nicole got your pep talk from Nolan and Bee. On the way to the arena, both of you got a bunch of good luck messages - not just from your friends and family, but also from teammates and even some from most of the Stars roster. You had a feeling in your gut that today would be a good day. 

….. 

“Alright folks, Day 2 of Championships have been off to a great start and are about to come to a close. With Nicole Carter in first with a 57.605 All-Around score and Kathryn Davis in second with a 57.1, Cassie Riley in third with a 56.2, it comes down to the final rotations. y/n y/l/n is one of the last to go on floor today, who will need a score of at least a 13.5 to get first,” the announcer said. 

“And compared to her average score, this will be easily attainable. If she scores at least a 14.5, she’ll be first overall for both days of competition. She already has a for sure spot at Trials, even when you don’t consider scores. As long as she is able to hit all elements of this routine, she’ll be fine,” another announcer said. 

“Ok, you’re good, you just have to hit this routine and there’s no doubt you’ll make it to where you want to be. Deep breaths, Twinkle Toes,” Marcus said. 

Walking up the platform to get up to the floor, you took your spot at the edge of the floor, ready to salute the judge, and get the last meet of championships out of the way. After anxiously waiting, the judge finally saluted. Entering the floor with a determined walk, you took your spot waiting for the familiar sound of your floor music to ring out.

That familiar feeling of doing the sport you loved, once again, rushed through your veins. Block everything out and complete the routine, that’s all you had to do. Going to your starting pose, the music started. Going through the familiar motions of your routine, you stuck your first tumbling pass. Then came the leaps and jump sequence and all that was in between, with the additional three tumbling passes. 

You didn’t give yourself a chance to overthink about your routine, you knew that it wouldn’t benefit you in any way, but as you stepped off the floor you knew that you did what you could. As soon as you made it back to where Marcus and Nicole were sitting, you waited to see what your score was. 

Joel and everyone watching at home watched as you sat down to see what your score was. He had this dopey grin gracing his features from the amount of pride he felt in that moment. He didn’t care what your score was, he knew you had put whatever you could out on the mat. He listened to Travis for a moment until the announcer started up again for scores and awards, “and y/n y/l/n pulled through with the score that she needed, a 14.9 on floor. She placed first in All-Around, Carter following right behind, and Davis in third. If all goes this well at trials, I’d say we have a lot of good representation for the Olympic Games.”

…..

After the meet and countless amount of interviews both you and Nicole were extremely worn out and had both passed out on the flight back. As you and Nicole stepped out of the terminal, you were met with the familiar faces of your friends and family. You smiled as you saw Bee for the first time in a few days and despite how tired you were, you couldn’t stop yourself from running to him. 

He immediately caught you and did the cliche spin (the one you swore you would never do) before pulling you into a regular hug, “I’m so proud of you, babe. You have no idea.”

“Thank you. I surprisingly missed you,” you joked, laughing harder when Joel pulled you away slightly to catch a glimpse of your face. 

“Wow, aren’t I glad I was blessed with such a nice girlfriend? It’s crazy.”

“Absolutely insane.”

“Preposterous.”

“Can the two of you shut the fuck up?” Kevin asked, coming over to give you a hug, “you did good out there, y/n/n. You also kept all your bones intact, I’m proud.”

“Shut the fuck up, Kev.”

“Okay, aside from you getting onto Kev and Bee, I missed you, too,” Karly said from beside Travis. 

“I kinda did, too. You did amazing though, y/n/n. I’m proud,” Travis said. 

“Thank you, thank you. All in a hard day's work,” you said, shrugging. 

“Dude, you might want to go back to Beezer, he looks like a lost puppy watching you talk to us,” Travis pointed out, nodding in Joel’s direction who smiled when you caught his eye. 

“Yeah, not a shocking development,” you said, before walking back in Joel’s direction, “hey, Bee.”

“Hey, honey,” he said, wrapping his arms around you again, “you ready to go home?”

“Yeah, of course,” you leaned up to kiss his cheek. 

“Ew, guys. Get a room,” Kevin called out, fake gagging. 

[starbornvalkyrie]

paper rings [a nessian one-shot]

a/n: hey besties!! here’s some fluff for this fine saturday. i wrote this for my mate, my besta @vanserrasvalkyrie​ bc i love her to death and she deserves everything. i wrote this based on paper rings by taylor swift. enjoy!

acotar masterlist || masterlist of masterlists

When the sunlight hit his face, Cassian stretched with a groan and reached for his girlfriend. Girlfriend. Three years and he was still shocked that was the title he could call Nesta Archeron. When they met all those years ago, he could have sworn she hated him. He thought it might have been his high clouding his mind but no. 

Nesta gave him the cold shoulder every time they hung out, though he never failed to sense her eyes on him when they were out with his friends. There was something about Nesta that always drew him to her. Some sort of gravitational pull that made her irresistible--even as she pushed him away.

Cassian frowned when he found that the other side of the bed was cold, his girlfriend long gone for the day. Blinking slowly, he wondered if she told him what she was up to today. Not that she needs to, but she usually gives him a heads up. His thoughts were pulled away when his phone chimed.

A single text message from Nesta read, Morning, babe. I’m out running errands with Feyre today. I’ll see you later. Xx

Cassian couldn’t help the grin that formed on his lips at her use of the word babe, and he used that energy to get out of bed and prepare for the day. The day that he hopes will bring him one step closer to calling Nesta his wife.

He dialed Rhys, putting the phone to his ear as he fastened his watch around his wrist. He smiled fondly at it, remembering the day Nesta gave it to him saying, “Your old watch is too loud. Use this.”

Rhys answered on the last ring with a labored, “Hello?” followed by a female yelp and giggle. His brother shushed her, but Cassian’s brows furrowed.

“Is that Feyre?”

Rhys cleared his throat, “Yeah, of course, why?”

“I just thought…” He trailed off. “Nevermind, brother. Is everything still set for tonight?”

He could practically hear Rhys rolling his eyes when he replied, “Yes, brother, we’ve been over it a thousand times. It’s going to be great.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave you two to… whatever I interrupted.” Cassian almost gagged hearing Rhys’ stifled groan of a goodbye as he hung up, patting his jacket pocket to feel for the ring one more time. He was about to grab his keys when he noticed a note on their side table, the elegant script telling him who left it. Smiling, he picked it up and read.

Cassian,

Do you remember the night we first met? I remember it vividly, probably because I wasn’t as stoned as you. But what I haven’t told you is that I went home and stalked you on the internet. Full on FBI mode. If you tell anyone, I will not hesitate to kill you. Sometimes I think about how I tried so hard to learn every detail I could about you without actually talking to you, but now I feel like I know more than I should.

We’ve shared a lot these past three years, and I have to say that one of my favorite hobbies to share with you is reading. The days we spend wasting away in bed reading side by side are the days I hope we will continue to share for the foreseeable future. While they aren’t my favorite, I do enjoy the war novels and thrillers you keep beside your bed. I think I’ve read all of them by now.

I skimmed Catch 22 this morning and was particularly intrigued by page 143.

It wasn’t signed, but Nesta’s perfume lingered on the page, igniting Cassian’s senses. The memories she wrote of came to the forefront of his mind. She was shy at first, not wanting him to know the sort of books she enjoyed reading with her friends. But one night he snuck one off her nightstand. Needless to say, they’ve had their fair share of experimentation based on a few of her novels. And when she read his books and talked excitedly with him, he thought he’d propose on the spot.

Cassian rushed to his bedside table and, sure enough, Catch 22 is on top. He flipped to the page she mentioned. Another note fell out along with a blue paint swatch. The color looked familiar, but he couldn’t figure out where he knew it from. Shrugging, he read the note.

Cassian,

Do you remember when Azriel made us all help him paint his room? My favorite memory of that day was the fact that there was more paint on us and our friends than there was on the walls. You, of course, had the brilliant idea of jumping into the pool of Az’s apartment complex. At 8PM. On a January evening. No one wanted to join you, for obvious reasons. I still think you’re an idiot for suggesting it. I still think you’re an idiot for actually doing it.

But then again, I followed. You may have jumped first, but I went in, too. I will always follow you, Cass, to the ends of the earth.

Will you follow me, too?

Yes. One hundred percent, yes. Cassian would follow Nesta to the ends of the earth and back. He’d slay dragons for her or just sit back while she conquered them herself. He couldn’t think of a time when his world didn’t revolve around Nesta. While they played games of cat and mouse when they first met, it was always Nesta. For him, he would always follow Nesta.

Will you follow me, too? He absolutely would. There were no other directions on the note, but Cassian knew exactly where he needed to go. Carefully folding the notes, he placed them in his pocket next to the ring. Giving the pocket another pat, he grabbed the keys to his truck and made his way through town. Azriel moved out long ago to live with his girlfriend, but Cassian still knew how to get to his old apartment complex.

That night was one of the best nights of Cassian’s life, but not for the reasons Nesta might be thinking. It was fun, definitely, swimming in that freezing pool, alcohol the only reason they didn’t feel the icy bite of the water. But that was the first night Nesta laughed and smiled with only him. Sure, before then, he had seen her radiant smile and heard her mesmerizing laugh with their friends. But with no one else around them in the pool, Cassian had relished in the fact that he was the reason for her happiness. It was the first time he had dared to hope for something more.

The apartment complex wasn’t gated, so Cassian drove right in, straight to the clubhouse pool. He hopped out of his truck, leaving it running idle, as he searched the area. He searched the chaise lounge chairs and tables but only saw a towel and duffel bag that someone left behind. He walked the perimeter of the pool itself. Still nothing. Did he get it wrong? Was he supposed to go somewhere else? Confused and frustrated, Cassian was about to give up when something at the bottom of the pool caught his eye: a ziploc bag anchored by a can of paint.

“You have got to be kidding me, Nes,” he mumbled to himself. Cassian went back to inspect the duffel bag, cursing his cruel girlfriend the whole way. When he unzipped the bag, a note was on top. Have fun getting wet, was all it said. Underneath was a pair of Cassian’s swim trunks and an extra pair of clothes. Accepting his fate, he changed in the restroom, and dove into the pool.

Pulling the paint can--the same color they painted Az’s room--to the surface was harder than he thought it would be, but eventually he was sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water that was a lot warmer than it was that night. Shaking the moisture from the bag and his hands, he took out the note, slightly shorter than the rest. Nesta knows he’d be impatient and nearly irritable by now, and he loved her even more for thinking about that detail.

Nice day for a swim, right? I wish I could have been there to see it, but don’t worry, I’ll have you wet and shirtless in no time later. But in all seriousness, I had a lot of fun that night. Getting to know you better in the pool is one of the highlights of our relationship and it’s something I will never forget.

But let’s go back to the beginning. Meet me in the place it all began. I’ll always be waiting for you.

Cassian grinned and pushed himself up to dry off and change. He grabbed the clothes Nesta packed for him, pleased to know she knew his style, and meticulously transferred the small box from his jacket pocket to the front of his jeans.

Knowing exactly where to go, Cassian made his way to meet his future wife.

---

Nesta waited nervously on the dock of a lake just outside of Velaris. She clutched the final envelope in her hands, reminding herself every few minutes not to ruin it. She sat on a blanket, a basket filled with Cassian’s favorite foods. She tried to push doubt from snaking its way into her brain, but she couldn’t help it.

She had been dropping hints to Cassian for months now but to no avail. After Rhys proposed to Feyre six months ago, Nesta felt that tug in her heart that told her she was ready. She practically told Cassian as much. She made it a point to talk about Feyre’s wedding prep every day, asking what he would want if he was in their position. She even went as far as showing him rings.

But Cassian hasn’t made a single move. Nesta knows he loves her, but does he not see her as wife material? Does he only love her for now? Nesta didn’t think so, and she didn’t let herself believe that, but the seed of doubt is still there, waiting to grow. To counteract the doubt, she decided to take things into her own hands.

Hence the basket and the notes. 

Her phone chimed with a text from Az telling her that Cassian just jumped into the pool. He got it on video. She laughed and asked him to let her know when Cassian left the apartment complex. While all of their friends were in on the event, Azriel was the only one she trusted to trail Cassian without being caught. Everyone else was tasked to decorate their apartment for a party after Cassian left on her scavenger hunt.

Nesta stood as she heard the sound of tires on gravel and braced herself as she watched Cassian step out of his truck and make his way towards her. Much to her amusement, she realized his hair was still a little damp from his impromptu swim, but he was also wearing the jeans and button down shirt she had packed for him as well. Nesta still counted herself lucky, praying to the Cauldron every day that this was the man that crashed into her life all those years ago.

Cassian stopped in front of her, surveying her from head to toe. His gaze sent shivers down her spine, but she stayed still as he scanned her set up on the dock, a smile gracing his lips as he most likely remembered what they’ve done out here. Multiple times.

Finally, he turned back to her and greeted her, “Hi, Nes.”

“Hey,” she said, voice low.

“What is all this?” He started to move towards her, but she held up her hand, nerves getting the best of her.

“I-- uh, we’ll get to that. But first,” she held up the note she held in her hand. “Last one.”

This time, he did step closer to her, but didn’t touch her yet. Ever observant, he knew she needed her space right now while her nerves went haywire. He stopped just in front of her, though, and asked, “Will you read it to me?”

Nesta’s eyes went wide, scanning the hazel ones she’d come to love so much. She saw only love and a hint of amusement staring back at her, so she whispered, “Okay,” and opened the envelope. With a few deep breaths, she began to read.

“Cassian. My best friend, my love. The biggest brute on the planet.

I don’t know how else to put this, but when I think about who I was when we first met, I can’t help but feel that I fell in love with you by accident. Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad that I did. But you know me, I hate accidents. I hate when things don’t go the way I want them to. And that’s you in a nutshell. I never know what’s going to happen, but I’m here for it, along for the ride for the rest of my life.

You know my past better than anyone else, even my sisters. All of the things that happened with Tomas… if none of that had happened, I wouldn’t have found you. I can even say I’m thankful for your past girlfriends, knowing that you wouldn’t be the man I know without them. We may fight, we may not be perfect, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you and hoping you love me in return.

Because I want it all, Cassian. I want you and all the complications you may come with. I want to kiss you randomly just because I can. I want to brighten your dreary Mondays, for you to wrap your arms around me while I cook, and everything in between.

You’re the one I want, Cass, in any way you’ll have me. Picture frames, dirty dreams, you name it.”

Nesta paused, steadying herself for the next part. She wiped the tears that started to fall from her eyes as she read. When she looked at Cassian, she could see the silver lining his own eyes as he gave her a watery smile. The smile she can’t imagine living without ever again. Steeling herself, she asked, “Are you going to make me do the knee thing?”

The corner of Cassian’s mouth turned up higher at that, decorating his face with that smirk that’s gotten him into so much trouble in the past. “You know how I like to see you on your knees in front of me, Nes,” he teased, making Nesta’s heart stutter.

“Brute,” she mumbled. “Fine.” Nesta adjusted her dress as she got down on one knee, holding the note in her palms. “I know this isn’t a shiny ring or anything fancy, but I don’t need any of that. I only need you, Cass. You’re the one I want until we’re taken to the next life and every moment after that as well. Will you marry me?”

Cassian hesitated for only a split second before he was on his knees in front of her, her face in his hands. “You stole my thunder,” he accused, his voice playful. When Nesta only stared at him with a cocked brow, he chuckled. She watched as he reached into his jean pocket and pulled out a small velvet, black box. Nesta couldn’t contain her gasp as he opened it to reveal a perfectly cut ruby set on a simple silver band. “You’re the only one for me, Nes. You’ve always been the only one for me.”

Nesta stared at the ring. “Cass…” she whispered.

“Are you sure you don’t want the shiny things? I can return this…”

“Don’t you dare,” she snapped. “Ring me.” Nesta stuck her left hand in Cassian’s face. He laughed but removed the ring from the box to slip it onto her ring finger.

They both watched in silence, the air buzzing with anticipation, as Cassian pushed the ring past her first knuckle then the second. Until it metaphorically clicked into place at the bottom of her finger.

A perfect fit.

Nesta launched herself at Cassian, tackling him to the deck with a searing kiss. Her heart thundered wildly, their tongues tangling as the words engaged, fiance, and future husband played on repeat in her mind like her favorite song. She pulled back to look down at her best friend, her everything, his eyes shining right back at her.

“I love you, Nes,” he said, voice low but thick with emotion.

“Until the end of time,” she replied with another kiss.

---

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[silverwarewolf]

hello hi happy STS! if you're participating! (also I apologise for not having answered your STS ask from last week yet whoops)

how do your characters show affection? are they affectionate openly or is it difficult for them to express? are their ways of showing affection obvious or do they express their feelings in odd ways? how do they react to receiving affection?

Thank you!! Happy STS!!! I didn't even know it was Saturday!!!

and yeah don't worry, sometimes that's how it is.

hmmm hmmm well this is a bit sad. bc there aren't many instances in which we get a lot of affection - i mean there is, i promise. but they don't get a lot of opportunities to Appreciate and Cherish it because they're running for their lives.

Ivan is openly affectionate, i would say. he's not the sort for physical affection, so he uses his words more often. the sort that would platonically address everyone with "darling" or "dear" or "dramatic idiot <3" and such terms. i suppose that's why he's mostly unfazed by similar terms when said to him. but! give him something that can be used (as opposed to a trinket) and he'll cry on the spot. you made him soup? you got everything ready for him to have a day off? you receive ivan's puppy eyes and smile and then a fun day with him cause he loves sharing that sort of gift.

Gene is very bad at expressing feelings. in the past, he would do so by cooking for his family or doing everyone's chores or stuff like that. not many people Get It and so they're like "why are you doing this? are you trying to ask for a favor later??" to which he responds by being like. sad. cause no!!! he's just trying to say he appreciates you!

he's also kind of touch starved. he's quite tall, and strong, and bad at words and gifts. but physical affection is hard because he doesn't want to break someone's ribcage or something! (especially since initially he only really talks to Emilia, who is a small lady around her fifties. not ideal to give a Big Hug to, so chores it is!) Still. gene dreams of the day he'll get to properly hug someone - he's overjoyed when kate and ivan just run up to him and squeeze him in a hug after the desert arc. friends <3

speaking of, Kate. I don't think she's one for affection overall. that is to say, to her, there's this unspoken agreement between the three that she'll protect them and that they work as a team and such. and ivan and gene see that as her sort of affection, but to her it isn't. it's just how things are, y'know?

hm. i suppose the closest thing to something she'd call affection is a conversation. she's a great listener, and her advice, although sometimes a bit too forward and strong, is spot on. I can't quite describe it - it's not that she dismisses the feelings. it's more so that she will stop someone before they have a breakdown from their thoughts, and that she can get a bit blunt.

I would say that she gets it from her parents? one of them has skills with words (a poet), and the other isn't like. that cuddly affectionate n stuff (a smith). Instead, she shares with her parents more closely that she'd like to give practical gifts. but it's a bit strange, in her eyes, to just offer someone a sword so casually - it's a very important gift, that one.

Drew and Alexandro both have an easy time showing affection. but they're also not great at getting the message across, cause they don't say much. They'll just gather fun trinkets and gift them. cool and neat things beloved. small blorbos from the world. they would lose their minds if someone gave them a trinket from something they're interested in!! give Drew a neat star map or books on creatures? give Alexandro antique figurines important to different kingdoms? they'll love you.

(note: Alexandro would be the kind of friend / partner / other that would be smitten if you gifted him a pack of hair ties. he tries not to lose them but he's a knight/assassin. give him a break)

taglist (lmk to be added or removed) @ashen-crest @myhusbandsasemni @writeblrfantasy @albatris

[gebtoons]

my contribution to the bapo timeline discourse bc i’m just gonna propose a timeline and will not be taking criticism <3 (under the cut bc this is gonna be a long post probably) 

ok disclaimer I am quite stupid, however I’m gonna use my knowledge from my own 12 years in american public high school and what little info I have about american boarding schools/catholic schools that I have from my friends lol. so. idk. 

i’m also gonna date songs/major events and i’m gonna be taking some “just trust me bro” liberties bc y’all are right it does NOT make that much sense. 

January 6: Epiphany; this is like an actual holiday lol. like its always on the sixth. idk its good that this is the starting point bc its an actual date yknow? For the purposes of this timeline were going with that its early in the week, so lets go with Monday idk

January 6-13: You and I, Role of a Lifetime; so we’re all kinda in agreement that this timeline (at least the beginning) only really makes sense if you and i/role of a lifetime aren’t like. a singular moment and are instead multiple days. so yeah, of this first week, this is like. monday-next sunday ish yknow. 

January 14: Auditions, Plain Jane Fatass; ok so having auditions for a spring musical right after kids get back from break actually makes perfect sense to me, like i can see it being like “ok take break to prepare so as soon as you come back we can have auditions so we can jump right into rehersals” yknow? and since the rave is clearly on a friday (”we’ll meet in tanya’s room on friday night”) so i’m going with the monday before.  

as for pjf, i know it doesn’t make a ton of sense for them to get a two week late birthday package their first few weeks back from school, but hear me out it makes sense. the implication throughout this entire show is that the twins have decently shitty parents. from bits of dialogue (in this song in particular lol) i’m kinda inferring their the “only concerned with how their kids make them look to others” kind of neglectful. so I don’t think it’s too outside the realm of possibility that they went away for the holidays, didn’t bring the twins, and instead mailed them a birthday package and having it show up two weeks late. realistically the timing of this isnt that important and the explicit “two week” time frame could’ve been an exaggeration on nadia’s part to mock her shit parents (idk its in her character) basically ppl are a little two fixated on this imo but anyway. moving on. 

January 18: Wonderland, A Quiet Night At Home, Rolling, Best Kept Secret; a very agreed upon point in the timeline. its the friday following the auditions. moving on. 

January 21: Confession; also very agreed upon. the monday following the rave. moving on again 

January 23: Portrait of a Girl; the date here is kinda arbitrary, but bc sister chantelle says “ok lets try to put yesterday’s rehearsal behind us” and i for the life of me cannot think of a scene she could be referring to (there’s none in the script either) that implies it wasn’t the same monday as confession (bc even in a boarding school i think holding extracurriculars that aren’t sports over the weekend (especially when they are no where near crunch time lol) is weird and not common) so i just picked a random day during the week

January 25: Birthday Bitch!, One Kiss, Are You There?; from matt’s line in wonderland, ivy’s birthday is a week after the rave. in my timeline that’s january 25th (an aquarius queen). 

btw given all grown up’s “17, how will i manage?” ivy is 16 during 17 at her party, which is strange given shes a high school senior and seniors are typically 17 during 18. so either a) she skipped a grade, not an unheard of thing. or b) shes not a senior, shes just a junior who hangs out with a bunch of seniors, which is also pretty common. and looking through the script i can’t find any mention that she is also a senior, other than yknow she graduates with them, but she isn’t mentioned during the class ranking scene? so idk not that it really matters just a fun detail 

February 3 (at night): 911 Emergency!; ok controversial. i know i like the joke about how its funny that peter having a weird dream when he was high prompted him to want to come out and really ruined his relationship with jason. BUT. i think the dream (despite it’s weirdness) would have a lot more meaning if it wasn’t the result of being really high, but if it was a dream he had like a week later as a result of a building sense of guilt/anxiety bc he told matt. also it fits better given later timeline things. (this timeline literally only exists if there are weird jumps in time that don’t make a ton of sense) (EDIT: I forgot one line about Jason crashing at ivys but fuck it forget that bitchass line this makes for more drama its staying this way)

February 4: Reputation Stain’d, Ever After; the next day following peter’s dream, idk what else to say, moving on. 

February 25-28: Spring; another jump! i’m sorry but the only way for this to make sense logistically is for there to be quite a few time jumps! however, i also think this one works bc i think it gives time for everything from around ivy’s party and peter and jason’s break up to stew emotionally. like obviously a musical only has so much time to tell a story so the audience cannot see every realistic beat, but honestly i think it makes the whole thing a little more dramatic™ if there’s space for everything to settle, and for ivy to come and apologize and such. also, the reason it’s multiple days is bc in the script, ivy is trying to study (presumably for some sort of midterm) while nadia is playing, so that probably takes place a few days before they move out, so before finals. but in the script, jason and peter are packing and peter is leaving, so that part of the song/staging takes place on the 28th. yes, that’s weird, but we are clearly thinking more about the logistics of this school than the writers were so. 

March 1: One; assuming st. cecilia’s works kinda like boarding schools here, they probably do staggered move out/move in, just bc that would be a lot to have people coming and going at once so it makes sense that peter left the day before, while jason and ivy are leaving the next day. also, given that peter is trying to call jason while he and ivy are banging, it’s probably been a hot minute since the actual break up, since peter was clearly very hurt by the whole thing, it would make sense (at least to me) that peter would reach out a month ish later, rather than like a few days later (you have to make so many assumptions to make this timeline work granted they aren’t super out there assumptions but still this is annoying) 

March 1-25: Spring Break. the coworkers I have who are in boarding school work over their school breaks, which are longer than the public school breaks (which are only a week) so i put their spring break at 3 weeks. it makes sense, and it makes the later part of the timeline make sense. 

I know i’m already halfway through this, but to me it makes sense for their to be quite a few time jumps in the story bc its a musical. they cannot show every day. there are a lot of other shows (particularly shows set in high schools) that are set over a whole school year, but if you just look at the events of the story that doesn’t make sense, so you have to imply that obviously they are not showing every little detail. moving on. 

March 25: Wedding Bells, In The Hallway, Touch My Soul; peter wakes up from his nightmare in the church, so im assuming he fell asleep in church (like he almost did during epiphany). also it makes sense that class ranks are announced in late march-early april, I know my school announced ours in like, the first week or so of april? so yeah. moving on.

(from this point on i was giving myself a headache trying to make it make sense so its all weird from here!!)

April 4: See Me, Warning; the date doesn’t really matter here, I picked a random day in early april. the script said peter is calling from him and jason’s old dorm room, as he was picking up the last of his things, so he clearly made the roommate switch after school started (makes sense to me). 

April 15-20 (approximately): Ivy finds out she’s pregnant. look google tells me on average people find out they are pregnant around 5-7 weeks after conception. i went with around 7 just so this timeline makes a tiny bit more sense given the later stuff, so yeah here we go. 

May 4: Pilgrim’s Hands, God Don’t Make No Trash, All Grown Up, Promise, Once Upon A Time, Cross; a rough night for our heroes. so given sister chantelle saying “again? wonderful.” and nadia saying “i can’t believe you missed rehearsal again”, clearly ivy has been missing quite a few rehearsals, so for dramas sake maybe from when she found out she was pregnant? also i know i’ve been saying they wouldn’t have rehearsals on weekends, and given my weird timeline this would be a saturday, but its tech week so i’ll allow it. 

May 5: Two Households, Bare, Queen Mab, A Glooming Peace; pretty self explanatory, and it makes sense to have the spring play in early may. rip jason. 

May 11: Absolution; the day before graduation peter goes to confront the priest. gives him a small amount of time to start processing, and it makes sense it would be the night before, at least to me. 

May 12: No Voice; i fucking hate this. “peter, we graduate next sunday” i hate that stupid fucking line. do you know that this timeline literally would be fine if it weren’t for that stupid fucking line? bc then, the school play would be in early may and graduation could be in late may-early june (when most high schools hold graduation) but no. keeping with continuity, they have to graduate the sunday following the school play. “peter we graduate in a month, are you really never gonna talk to me again?” would have been fine. but no, now we have beef. literally everything else about the end of this timeline being kinda weird would work itself out, except for the fucking graduation. god damn. anyway, may 12th, the graduate on may 12th which is really fucking weird bc of that one fucking line. whatever. i didn’t write the damn thing bc if i did i wouldn’t have written that fucking line. (i’ve been at this for over an hour and a half, so i’m a tad annoyed, can you tell?) 

anyway, that’s it. that’s my long as hell proposed bare timeline. if there’s anything glaringly wrong with it i don’t care bc this timeline literally cannot make sense. but honestly, now that i think about the Popular Tween High Schooler Musicals (heathers, bmc, deh) the timelines of those (especially heathers and bmc) don’t make tons of sense either. that’s just the way it is, that’s the way its gonna be. and we have to live with it. 

this post is so long it is actually slowing down my laptop as i type it

[uncleshits]

how was your camp set up? i'm loving your addition to our camp collab but am just now remembering that not every camp does stuff the way mine does haha

ours does it where all counselors are cabin&activity staff, so like I did rock climbing And was in the cabin. our trips staff don't count as cabin coverage bc they're usually out on trips

& we do activities in 5 block periods, so you have A&B in the morning, adventure period (C) after lunch/rest hour, & then D&E

and then evening activity changed every day, & Sat/Sun were special/relax days

Ok I'm highkey exposing myself as a fraud here bc I havent been to camp since like 6th grade so I barely remember it, but basically each cabin had 3 counselors, and our cabin got split into 2 groups and during activities and stuff we would join one of our groups with another group from a different cabin. Bc I guess they wanted us to meet lots of other kids? And occasionally one of the counselors had to go help out with an activity if they were short-staffed on Crew (like my last year my favorite counselor had to help out with the ropes course like 5 of the 7 days I was there)

And there were also about a dozen "Head Counselors" who were in charge of each activity and making sure everything ran smoothly but they didn't have their own cabins so they usually set up for events or helped out Crew

And for activities and stuff we usually had 2-3 set activities that we would do with our groups during the morning and early afternoon, then some quiet time in our cabin, then either another set activity or "free time" where we could pick what we wanted to do, dinner, then we had one big whole-camp activity, then Bonfire and lights out.

Sunday was usually just settling in, and get to know you games with your cabin then Bonfire, and Saturday was packing up and heading home!

[krisdreaming]

heY KUROO DRUNK GIRL STORY PART 3 PLEASE???????🥺

Eheheh I know, I know, it took me long enough, but here it is!!! The thrilling conclusion ;) This is pretty much just a self-indulgent first date with Kuroo scenario and it got really long oops :’) (tagging @igetcarriedawaywithyou bc I had to screenshot your ask - lmk if you want me to untag you!)

Part 1 | Part 2

-

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” You announce to your roommate, fidgeting with your phone in your lap as you wait for 6:00. She shakes her head.

“I don’t understand why you’re so nervous. You weren’t this nervous before your last date.”

You laugh wryly. “Yeah, and look what happened then!” You think back for the hundredth time, and shudder at the though of what could have happened - if it weren’t for Kuroo.

“I have a feeling this Kuroo guy isn’t going to stand you up.” She stabs her spoon into her bowl of ice cream, taking a giant spoonful. 

“I know.” You sigh. “I know!” You repeat more convincingly, a small smile coming to your face. You’ve been texting with Kuroo almost non-stop for the past week, and you haven’t felt this way about a guy for a while. If you’re honest, that’s what scares you the most.

“Besides, he’s picking you up here, and you’re not even going to a bar.” Her words are muffled around the ice cream in her mouth. “And you’re already half in love with him.”

“Am not.” You say, a little too quickly. She’s gracious enough to let it go with nothing more than a sly smile. Of course you’re not in love with him yet. You’ve only met him in person once, and circumstances were far from ideal. But with time - who knows? You shake your head before you can go too far down that rabbit trail.

Your phone chimes. He’s waiting for you outside. You swallow back the sudden bubble of nausea and get to your feet.

“Well, he’s here. I’ll see you later!” You give your roommate a wave and head for the door.

“Don’t hurl!” She calls after you cheerfully. You shut the door behind you without giving her a second glance.

“Hey.” Kuroo pushes away from the wall where he’d been waiting when he catches sight of you. He flashes you a smile that you can’t help but return. You’d been secretly wondering if he’d do something about his hair for your date, but it looks just as unruly as it had that night. For some reason, there’s something comforting about that fact, and you feel your nerves slowly begin to lessen.

“Hi.” You greet him, falling into step beside him.

“I do have to give you a disclaimer.” He says immediately. “We’re not exactly going to a coffee shop, but there’s this really cool place I want to show you. You’ll love it.” He promises. “We’ll have to take the train, though, if that’s alright with you.” He knocks his arm against yours.

“Fine with me.” You smile. After he learned that you’d only recently moved to the city, he insisted that he had to show you some of his favorite spots. You’re curious to see just what he has in mind.

The train is full, so you both end up standing. You’re used to being packed into the train at times, it comes with living in such a large, busy city, but you’re especially aware of him so close to you. When the train lurches, he has a hand at your elbow to make sure that you don’t lose your balance. You flash him a quick smile. Somehow, in the short time you’ve known him, it seems he’s always the one looking out for you.

By the time you get off the train, twilight has just begun to fall. The city is bathed in the orange glow of the setting sun, and it plays across Kuroo’s face. You duck your head when you realize he’s caught you staring, but all he does is smile and reach for the back of his neck.

 You walk a few blocks from the train station. “This way.” He guides you, and you take a turn down a quieter street, with fewer apartment buildings and business storefronts and more small shops. You’ve never been down this way before. It seems like a nice area to spend a Sunday afternoon.

“There’s a lot of cool places around here.” Kuroo speaks up. “They have great ramen there.” He points to a small restaurant, one you wouldn’t have even noticed if it wasn’t pointed out to you. “Oh, and that’s an amazing little coffee shop. They have the best brownies.” The small shop has a hand-painted sign in the window. You look at him in amazement.

“How do you find out about all of this stuff?”

He grins. “Lots of exploring. I just really enjoy it, you know? Finding all the little hole-in-the-wall places that most people don’t know about. It’s like a hidden treasure. There’s more places like that than you think.”

“Oh.” You breathe. “That sounds like so much fun.”

“Yeah?” He knocks his arm against yours again. You aren’t sure if it’s intentional, but you still feel your face getting warm. “Well I’ll have to take you sometime. I drag Kenma out with me most weekends.” Kenma - his best friend you note mentally. He’s talked about him before.

“I would really like that.” You nod. Your first date isn’t over, and he’s already talking about the second, as naturally as could be. You can’t help but smile to yourself. Whatever nerves and uncertainties you had been feeling earlier today, they’re completely dissolving.

“It’s just a few more blocks ahead.” He says, and you watch in front of you, your curiosity building. Finally, you approach a park of sorts, and as soon as you pass through the entrance you stop, looking around yourself in wonderment. There’s a walking path, and all along it are trees strung full of fairy lights. Their glow illuminates the intricately carved statues interspersed between them. There are a few small vendor carts as well, selling coffee and various festival foods. After a few moments of taking it in, you feel Kuroo’s hand nudge yours.

“So, what do you think?” He leans toward you and asks in a hushed voice.

“This is beautiful.” You breathe out. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“Yeah, I found this park a few years ago. They have different art installations throughout the year, and they’re all pretty cool. This one’s gotta be my favorite, though.” He motions toward the food vendors. “What do you want? Take your pick.” 

You walk slowly between the stands before finally making your selection. “Thanks, Kuroo.” You finally say, when you have your treat in hand and the two of you have begun to make your way down the footpath. 

“What kind of date would I be if I didn’t buy you anything to eat?” He brushes it off with a wave of his hand.

“No, I mean… for everything. For this.” You wave your hand at your surroundings. “It’s got to be one of the coolest dates I’ve ever been on.”

“One of?” He gives you a teasing grin. “I’ll work on that for next time.” That’s the moment he knocks his hand against yours again, more purposefully, and you recognize the invitation. You turn your hand palm up, and he slides your hands together, fitting his fingers between yours. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, and you smile at him, hoping it can convey everything you can’t put into words.

You walk slowly through the park, taking everything in. You’re talking the whole time. About nothing - about everything. You don’t realize how much time has passed until the lights in the trees flicker out, leaving only the harsher white park lighting. “Guess that’s our cue to leave.” Kuroo chuckles.

The train is much emptier than it had been earlier that evening. Still, you sit close together. Kuroo puts his arm loosely around your shoulders, and you let yourself lean ever-so-slightly into him. He has the same smell you remember from his coat the night you’d met - something warm and comforting that you can’t quite place.

Back in front of your apartment building, it’s finally time to say your goodbyes. Kuroo finally lets go of your hand. You don’t say anything at first, trying to drag it out just a little longer.

“I had a great time tonight.” Kuroo is the one to speak. “Honestly. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m really glad that guy didn’t show up for you last week. Is that insensitive?”

“Maybe.” You laugh. “But I know what you mean. Sure, it might’ve been more ideal if i met you when I was sober, but drunk me is sure glad you showed up when you did.” You pause, and the two of you simultaneously take a step closer together. You giggle softly.

“Don’t go to any more bars alone.” He scolds gently, a soft smile on his face.

You shake your head. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

When his face is only inches away from yours, he pauses. “Is this okay?”

You wrap your fingers into the fabric of his coat. “Perfect.” You breathe before tugging him close enough to cover the final distance between you. His kiss is warm and firm, and when you finally pull away, he follows after you for one final peck. He grins.

“Wanna go exploring with me next Saturday?”

You smile back, warmth slowly traveling through your whole body. “I’d love that.”

[teawithkpop]

[M] - PhysCom - Pt 4

pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - bc 1 - pt 4 - pt 5 - pt 6

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader

Rating: Mature [18+]

Length: 8.5k words

Genre: PhysCom AU - smut with dashes of angst, and a shitload of romance and complicated feelings,, uhuhu (porn with plot??)

Warnings: swearing, ehhh lots of angst and fighting oh nooo, and mentions of sexual acts

the plot thickens and there’s no actual smut in this part i’m sorrryyyyyy but more smut is coming!! i pinky pwomise uwu

-------

"Morning, jagiya. Do you have a minute?"

You're practically vibrating with the effort of acting normal as you process Taehyung's question. What can you even say to that? Oh, sorry. Actually, can you guys come back later? I'm kind of in the middle of discovering a secret fucking society of PhysComs who are dating their clients, and I'm trying to see if there's a way I can get in on that sweet, sweet deal. Fuck no. That's not going to work. Anything other than agreeing will sound too suspicious, and you can’t let them know what you’ve discovered. At least, not yet.

"Of course." You paste on a smile as you reply, your mind still reeling as you pull the door open all the way. You’re still wearing only your robe, but it’s silly of you to shield your body when it’s theirs to ogle during work hours anyway.

“What can I do for you, masters?” You ask sweetly, slipping on your persona like a second skin to keep your thoughts safely hidden from view. Your clients should always be your first priority. Not rule breaking, and certainly not any unlikely fantasies of romance.

Something seems off about their body language. They look uncomfortable. You’re suddenly reminded of the weird tension in the air when you last saw them, and just how fragile your position is after everything that happened last night. You need to rid their minds of what they saw at dinner. They need to view you as their eager little toy again, not someone who broke or someone to be pitied.

You instantly thicken the illusion of obscenity, eager to convince them, and maybe yourself, that things are just the same as they’ve always been.

“So… what would you like from me? A blow job? Hand job?” You stretch your arm up and lean sensually against the door, your eyes half-lidded. “Do you both want to fuck my little holes and stretch me open?” You giggle cutely and start to untie the silky belt of your robe, forcing all thoughts of your ComGear out of your head so you can focus on your job, which is pleasuring your clients. 

Jimin steps forward before you can pull the robe open, and stops your hand. He carefully ties your garment back together, though he avoids your eyes, his expression grim. “No… actually, we want to talk with you.”

Damn. You thought for sure that little ploy would at least fluster them a little, and maybe get them in the mood for something, but they both remain strangely sober.

“It’s about last night,” Taehyung supplies quietly, looking down to the floor.

Well, shit. What is there to talk about? You used your safe word and ruined everyone’s fun. Are they holding it against you or something? That's not really fair when the two of them are partially to blame for distracting you by playing mind games and messing with each other. 

Then it dawns on you. Namjoon probably sent them up to apologize for their fighting. That must be why they’re acting so stiff. After all, he did say that the three of you should work things out together.

You feel a bit relieved and give them a fleeting smile of reassurance. “Masters, it’s okay. Let’s just move on from what happened last night, hm?” You want to take their hands, but you resist the urge. You really shouldn’t initiate contact unless it’s related to their pleasure. You settle for lacing your hands coyly behind your back, making your chest stand out rather provocatively. “I’ve forgotten all about it, really.”

They both still look dreadful. Worried. You finally notice that there's a hint of pity in their eyes and it makes your skin crawl with foreboding. You get the terrible sense that this is about something bigger than safe words, squabbles, and kisses.

“No, we all want to talk to you,” Taehyung explains with a slight clearing of his throat. “In the kitchen. Namjoon-hyung sent us to… come and get you.”

You can feel your heart start to race as your adrenaline spikes from a sudden shot of fear. What could they possibly want? What's changed between last night and today? Sure, logically, they could be calling a meeting for a variety of reasons, but only one scenario is circling through your mind, over and over… and it ends with you packing your bags.

“Do you want to, like... go now, or...?” Jimin mumbles, clearly uncomfortable about the situation.

You blink, feeling dizzy. Your playful aura has disintegrated in an instant and made way for something much more frigid and fearful. “Yeah… um, let me just get dressed first,” you murmur distractedly. “I’ll be down in a minute, masters.”

They nod and thankfully take the hint that you need a moment to collect yourself. The two of them head back downstairs and you shut the door behind them, your whole body numb. You hurry to your closet, trying to retain some semblance of routine despite the storm you feel approaching.

In the daily rotation of things, Friday - last night - was Seokjin’s day for him to do as he pleases with you, and that includes deciding what you wear. The apron you’d had on yesterday was one he had picked out for you beforehand. Your closet is sectioned off into clothes and costumes chosen by each boy for you to don beneath (or in some cases on top of) your utility belt on their chosen days. Some days they request a specific outfit, but most of the time it’s up to you to select from their options. Your favorite clothes to wear are probably either the oversized hoodies with cute panties and no bottoms that Jungkook chose for you, or the crop top and leggings variations that Hoseok loves to see you wear.

But Saturday is for Yoongi, and today’s outfits are what could be considered party clothes, full of strappy leather harnesses, deep jewel-toned mini dresses, and lots of high heels. Not exactly comfort clothing. You love it when they choose what you wear and dress you up like a little doll, it’s hot and everything, but sometimes you just want to wear sweatpants. Or a t-shirt and jeans.

Fuck. You grab a pair of black booty shorts and a busty sequined halter top, the closest thing to daywear out of Yoongi’s choices, and you also elect to go barefoot. If this meeting is as bad as you fear it’ll be, then you don’t know if you’ll be able to stand upright in six inch heels for very long. Sorry, Yoongi.

You blow a lock of hair out of your eyes after squeezing yourself into the tight attire. Credit to Min Yoongi where it’s due, the top does make your tits look amazing, but honestly that should be the least of your concerns right now. You almost laugh at such a trivial thought.

Once you reach your bed, you hastily grab your ComGear, hoping you have at least a few minutes to figure out something before you’re pulled away again. There’s a backlog of messages, but thankfully not too many, as you log back into the chat room.

[ PCsv02_svt ]: oh where did she go [ PCsv01_svt ]: probably got called away [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: probably havin.. sexy times B) [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: wink wink [ PCsv01_svt ]: … [ PCsv03_mtx ]: guys you shouldn’t encourage her about dating :/ [ PCsv03_mtx ]: bad things can happen too [ PCsv06_ast ]: yea sanha is always nice to me, but I know some clients can be... not so nice [ PCsv09_$px ]: yeah, thanks [ PCsv06_ast ]: oh... sorry :( [ PCsv02_svt ]: aww aashi didn’t mean it like that G [ PCsv02_svt ]: we’re all here for you, u know that right? [ PCsv09_$px ]: mm. thanks guys [ PCsv01_svt ]: speaking of which, how are things with you? [ PCsv09_$px ]: uh.. same as always. [ PCsv01_svt ]: has anything happened since last time? [ PCsv09_$px ]: no, but they’ve been out of the house a lot [ PCsv09_$px ]: they have a lot of schedules right now [ PCsv01_svt ]: I see… [ PCsv02_svt ]: oh she’s back!

You stare at the log in dismay. Well, crap. “Bad things” can happen...? What kind of bad things? Is dating clients a thing or not? You have too many questions and not enough answers, and you don’t have time to investigate any of it. The boys are waiting for you downstairs.

[ PCsv01_bts ]: so… my clients just called a meeting with me. I can’t really talk right now. [ PCsv01_svt ]: a meeting? [ PCsv02_svt ]: that’s okay hon! we’ll still be here when u get back ^^ [ PCsv01_bts ]: this is all…fuck sorry, it’s a lot to deal with right now

You rake a hand through your hair, your body and mind are just completely spent from everything that’s happened recently.

[ PCsv01_svt ]: it’s alright, we’re not going anywhere [ PCsv03_twc ]: take your time to understand everything ♡ [ PCsv03_twc ]: it took me a while haha [ PCsv06_ast ]: we’ve got your back! 150% hehe >u< [ PCsv02_svt ]: yeah! don’t sweat it hon~ be kind to yourself, especially when you need to figure things out ^^

All of their assurance pouring in nearly brings a smile to your face. You don’t know most of these people, and you can’t be sure that they aren’t all just really smart bots or spies sent by your network, but… they do seem like a supportive bunch.

[ PCsv01_bts ]: thanks [ PCsv01_bts ]: but what exactly did micha mean by “bad things can happen”? [ PCsv01_bts ]: is dating even safe? [ PCsv03_mtx ]: oh haha… [ PCsv04_blp ]: safe? Oh honey... [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: lolol [ PCsv03_mtx ]: well I just meant that some PhysComs have been… taken advantage of [ PCsv03_mtx ]: so you can’t just jump into it ^^; [ PCsv01_svt ]: i wouldn’t call anything in this line of work “safe” per se [ PCsv01_svt ]: it’s hard to advise anything when we don’t know what your clients are really like [ PCsv01_svt ]: but if you do manage to enter a relationship it can either make or break your employment [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: hell yeahhhhh B)) [ PCsv01_svt ]: for some people it’s a last ditch effort, offering intimacy to idols who are touch starved to begin with… oftentimes breaking those boundaries will changes the client’s perspective, and soon they see you as essential, regardless of any minor misconducts [ PCsv01_svt ]: while for others, the attachment forms naturally and appears to be a genuine connection, such as with sascha and joshua [ PCsv01_svt ]: but of course there’s no way to tell for sure if the client’s feelings are genuine or if they have ulterior motives, so it’s definitely a risk [ PCsv01_svt ]: if things were to turn sour in the relationship, it could lead to termination or worse… you know, hell hath no fury like a lover scorned and all that [ PCsv01_svt ]: people can be duplicitous [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: durr durrr antione smart smart [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: i’m taking notes on ur lecture sir uwu [ PCsv01_svt ]: blake [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: ^-^? [ PCsv01_svt ]: shut the hell your mouth [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: >:D

You sigh. Reading all these names and trying to keep everyone’s identities straight is making your head spin in your already addled state.

[ PCsv01_bts ]: is there a way to change the contact names in this chat? [ PCsv01_svt ]: nope [ PCsv02_svt ]: sorry boo, it’s for protection ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You groan in frustration. Nothing is making sense, you’ve found no answers, and you still aren’t sure you can even trust this chat room. On a whim, you tap on Sascha’s username, and a contact page pulls up for her within the chat app. It doesn’t give any information besides her username and a blank profile photo, but there is a call button.

Shit, what do you have to lose? If this is real and not some elaborate hoax, then Sascha should pick up… right? You could grill her, ask her questions only she would know to prove it’s really her.

A sudden buzz from your ComGear nearly scares you shitless, and you check to see that it’s just a message from Namjoon.

Sweetheart? Could you come down to the kitchen?

You take a deep breath to steel your nerves. Fuck. You can’t put this meeting off any longer. You slip your ComGear into your belt and head downstairs towards what you’re sure will be your inevitable doom.

-------

On your way down the long staircase, you take deep cleansing breaths to combat the growing knot in your stomach. You’re hoping half-heartedly, albeit rather foolishly, that maybe the boys just need your help with something harmless, like making breakfast. They do love your omelettes.

You slow down as you approach the kitchen door, and you can hear many muffled voices arguing on the other side. It sounds like they’re trying to stay quiet, but failing. You stop to listen, your curiosity getting the better of you.

“Just because you got to-” “-not fair-” “I don’t like this-” “-so why should she be punished for-” “I swear it wasn’t-”

Punished? You don’t like the sound of that at all, not one bit. Just as panic starts to swarm your mind, Namjoon’s voice rises above the clamor. You lean against the door to hear his calm cadence, much more gentle than the previous raucous of the others.

"Look! Guys, I know it'll be hard. Okay? I know we've all grown very attached to her, but I think... I think this will be for the best. For all of us."

Fuck his calm cadence.

They must be talking about you, they have to be. You’re the only “her” in this house. You feel like you’re drowning in regret and fear, spiraling as your worries returning tenfold, despite your best effort to keep them at bay.

You’re going to walk through that door and they’re going to fire you, you can feel it. Namjoon’s going to look you in the eyes, and where such tenderness had been last night, now there will only be a steely gaze. It’s just business. You slump against the polished wood and bite back a dry sob, burying your face in your hands. You don’t think you can do this.

“God, you make it sound like she’s dying.” There’s Yoongi’s voice, lilted and matter of fact. “She’s not going anywhere.”

You lift your head. Not going anywhere? As in, not being fired?

Oh, bless Min Yoongi and his slutty sequin tops. But then… if you’re not going anywhere, ergo not getting fired, then what the hell are they talking about?

“Yeah, but what if this thing doesn’t work? What if she doesn’t... want this from us?” Jungkook’s timid question draws silence from the room.

“Then things will go back to normal, right? We just… forget it ever happened.” Jin. He sounds bitter and forlorn, not at all like his usual self.

“How can things be normal after what happened last night?” Hoseok sounds even worse than Jin, his voice choked with emotion. “I don’t think I can even have her as a PhysCom anymore! Something has to change.”

This declaration is met with another bout of overlapping arguments, only to be silenced once again by Namjoon.

“No, Hobi-hyung is right.” Namjoon says, his voice decisive and final. “This is a fork in the road for all of us. At the end of the week, we’ll take another vote. If things don’t improve with her, then… we’ll do what has to be done. There are always other PhysComs who can fill the position.”

What... the fuck…?

Ice crawls up your back, as if someone just dumped you into a freezing pool of water. Numbness seeps through your limbs, into your heart.

Are you really that replaceable in their eyes?

You’ve invested all your time into building bonds with these boys specifically so this wouldn’t happen. How can they be so heartless? It hurts. There’s a wrenching pain in your chest at hearing them talk about you so… so pragmatically.

It hurts because it’s exactly the way that you would handle the situation. With pragmatism.

But you know what? Fuck this. Fuck them. They took a fucking vote on the fate of your livelihood? You owe them nothing.

You’re overwhelmed, and angry, and confused, and you just can’t take it anymore. You want this guessing game to end. If they’re going to fire you, or punish you, or whatever, then you should just go in there and get it over with already. It has to hurt less than hearing them talk about you so callously.

You wait for a break in the conversation, and then ease open the kitchen door, stepping inside and doing your best to keep your expression neutral.

“Oh, there she is! Just the woman we wanted to see.” Namjoon looks up at you with a practiced smile, even though he’d just been rubbing his forehead the way he does when he’s stressed.

“Not for long,” Yoongi mutters, clutching his coffee mug a little too tightly as he takes a sip.

Your gaze flickers to him as quiet, seething anger settles in the pit of your stomach, a burning ache that doesn’t go away. He has the balls to joke about this, when your career is on the line? You’d have thought Mr. Underground Rapper would understand how hard you’ve fought to get here. Does he really feel nothing, sipping his coffee while you face the guillotine?

Namjoon shoots Yoongi a weary look, then comes over to greet you. “Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling? Better?” He cups your cheek, his eyes full of gentle concern.

You nearly flinch away from his touch. How dare he act so kind to you when they were just conspiring about whether you’ll keep your job?

You take a step back, out of range to be touched by any of them.

“What’s going on?” You ask them firmly, deciding not to hide your misgivings. Their eyes all seem to wander elsewhere in the room, Jungkook is staring at the counter in front of him like it’s suddenly become very interesting. Taehyung is looking up at the ceiling as if counting the tiles. Seokjin’s gaze is trained straight ahead into nothing, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Cowards, all of them.

Namjoon takes the initiative and clears his throat. It’s hard to take him seriously when he’s wearing Ryan the Bear pajamas, but you give him your rapt attention. “So, we’ve been discussing things, and after what happened last night… well, it really cemented this for us. It made the decision that much easier.”

Did it? Did it really make it easier for them to fire you after seeing you break down and cry from using your safe word? You half debate throwing a punch at that handsome jaw of his. Might as well go out swinging.

He seems uncomfortable from the severity of your glare. Good, let him be uncomfortable. God knows you’ve put yourself in some uncomfortable positions for them.

“You’ve worked very hard for us since you were hired, and since today marks your official six month anniversary, we think it’s only fitting to end these six months on a good note.”

Oh, how poetic. Come on, just get on with it. Flowery words, especially insincere ones, won’t help you find another job. They won’t help keep you off the street while you struggle to make a living for yourself.

You stare up at him determinedly, your lips pursed as you steel yourself for the blow. You will not cry.

“We want to extend your time off.”

Wait, what?

“Starting tomorrow. It would have been your second day off for this month, but we’d like to extend that to a week off instead.”

They’re not firing you? They’re… rewarding you with vacation time? Doesn’t make sense. Your mind is reeling, trying to figure out the catch.

“You can wear whatever you want, do whatever you’d like.” Namjoon rubs the back of his neck, seemingly thrown off by your wide eyed lack of response. “You’re not obligated to have sex with us…”

Oh. There it is. A sex ban.

Sure, they’ll give you a nice little vacation, free of worries and obligations. What, so they can all play with Secondaries, like Jin did?

Fuck, that’s what this is about, isn’t it? Jin probably told them how good it felt to fuck another cunt and now this is their way of telling you that they want to ‘see other people’, isn’t it?

This is worse than firing you outright. They’re killing you slowly, stabbing you in the gut to watch you bleed out, like a wounded animal in the desert.

Your vision is red, rage stemming from fear and insecurity building up inside of you faster than you can comprehend.

“So you’re suspending me?” Your voice is surprisingly calm, even to your own ears.

“I… I guess you could put it like that.” Namjoon says hesitantly.

“We just want to give you a break, jagiya,” Taehyung interjects, and he does look genuinely torn up about the change. But feelings are of no use, not now that things have come to this. The only protection you have left is your own pragmatism to rival theirs.

You cross your arms in front of your chest, feeling much too exposed in your skimpy outfit. Damn Min Yoongi and his slutty sequin tops. You level your gaze at each of them in turn. “Don’t I get a say in this? I’m an independent contractor.”

Namjoon seems befuddled by your scorching glare, but he nods after a moment, seeming to come to his senses. He’s the one person here that’s best equipped to acquiesce to your sudden formalities. “Yes, of course. Uh… do you want to step into my office? We can work something out. Draw up a formal agreement, if you’d like.”

You see a flash in your mind of the last time you were in Namjoon’s office, not even a week ago, where you had him bent over his desk, cumming all over your fingers and dripping onto the ornate carpet.

You shake your head. They don’t want you to play with them for a week? Fine. You won’t give Namjoon the satisfaction of a home court advantage. “I’ll call my handler. We can discuss this in the lounge in an hour.” You don’t have a lawyer, but Yeji is the next best thing.

Namjoon seems a little surprised at your sudden switch to a cold and business-like demeanor, but he nods in agreement.

“Wonderful,” you look between the other boys, though most of them avoid your gaze. “I hope you all enjoy your breakfast.” You can’t resist hissing the words, and you hasten out of the room before your stone cold facade can crack.

You close the door behind you and lean heavily against it, trying to find your balance again after being thrown so off-kilter. What the fuck just happened?

“Well… that could have gone better.” You hear Yoongi sigh, and the others all break out into loud bickering again from behind the door. Honestly, they’re like children sometimes.

You scoff miserably at their immaturity and inability to see how seriously they just toyed with your life, and you wipe your eyes before the tears can fall, hurrying back to your room.

-------

That could’ve fucking gone better indeed.

You press your face into your hands, trying to stifle the fury and despair bubbling up inside your chest, threatening to suffocate you. Your hard work and years of dedication, all of your training, everything you’ve worked towards, becoming valuable and necessary so you’d never be cast away again, it’s all for nothing. You’ve still ended up in this position.

What the hell are you supposed to do now? Wait around for a week as they slowly lose interest in you? The very thought is agonizing. It tugs at all your buried fears and insecurities, watching them as they each slowly forget about you. Watching yourself become useless.

No. Stop it, you don’t have time to feel sorry for yourself when there’s work to be done. Time is ticking.

When you get overwhelmed in life, you’re supposed to ask for help. But you have very limited choices for who you can ask. You’re isolated and subjective in this case, so what you need right now are some outside opinions. Objective viewpoints and thoughts about the situation that aren’t stuck in the mire of emotional complications, and tainted by your own hellish visions of the worst possible outcome.

Yeji, your handler, would be your first person to consult. She’s probably the most professional woman you know, after yourself, and most importantly, she always has a plan for any situation. You pull out your ComGear and see that it’s still on Sachsa’s mysterious contact page. She could be a second opinion. That is, if it’s really Sachsa and not some network spy.

You shake away the thought. One thing at a time.

You send a brief message to Yeji, letting her know to come and see you as soon as possible.  You tack on that it’s kind of an emergency, and could she pick up some ice cream for you on the way, double fudge ripple.

She replies that she’ll be over in fifteen minutes, which gives you just enough time to change clothes and rehearse how to explain what happened.

You shed Min Yoongi's sequined strip of fabric without an ounce of remorse and stare at your closet in dismay. None of their outfits are comfortable, let alone respectable for a meeting. Frankly, your pajamas would offer more coverage.

You feel close to tears at the simple matter of choosing an outfit. This is ridiculous.

No. They may have control over what you do, but you can still rebel, at least in this small aspect of your life. You grab one of Jungkook's hoodies and a pair of leggings from Hobi, combining the outfits into what could be considered loungewear.

Once changed, you feel a bit more like yourself, and wait anxiously for your handler to arrive.

-------

Choi Yeji is an intimidating woman. She possesses the subtlety and sting of a viper, and isn’t afraid to say what she means. She’s never shown you any great lengths of emotion, even under stressful circumstances. So it doesn’t surprise you to see her calm and collected as she walks into your room.

“What happened?” She asks while you shut the door behind her, and she sets down the shopping bag of ice cream.

Her composure helps ease your frazzled brain, and you quickly explain the events of the past twenty four hours. Well, the events she needs to know, anyway. You were stressed at dinner, used your safeword, and now they seemingly think you’re broken and need to rest, but you suspect it’s an excuse for them to distance themselves from you.

“You think you’ve fallen out of their favor?” Yeji inquires, resting the tip of her spoon in her mouth. She claims desserts are her only vice, and had joined you in the ice cream, but still kept a professional distance and had eaten hers seated on your desk chair while you remained flopped on your bed. “Why? They’ve never sent in a single complaint about your service.”

You sigh in frustration. You know, or you at least suspect, that it has something to do with the… feelings that have come to your attention recently.

But the thought of sharing your romantic dalliances with Yeji is just plain awkward. Your relationship with her has always been business focused, monitoring your diet and exercise, your needs and leisure requests. You've never called her over to talk about your love life, or anything too personal for that matter. It’s not really in her job description.

She’s your handler, not your therapist.

But you know that you can't get around telling her the reason why things have been so tense in the house, it's inevitably going to come up. If she's representing you and backing you up during this meeting with Namjoon, it's in your best interest for her to know all the facts.

That still doesn't make it any easier to talk about. “I... think I might know why.” You admit, laying on your back, covering your face with your arm as you prepare to talk about your affairs.

Yeji levels you with a knowing look. “Did the chat room help you figure it out?”

You sit bolt upright. How the hell did she find out? 

Your brain struggles to provide an explanation in a vain attempt to cover your tracks, but Yeji eases you down from your silent panic with a wave of her hand.

“It’s alright,” she chuckles, a kind smile gracing her lips. “I was the only person alerted that you’d disconnected from the network and linked to a new one. I know all about the hidden network."

"You do?" You manage to utter, too astounded to say much else.

"Of course." Yeji inclines her head. "I used to work closely with Madame Guillaume, you know."

The tension dissipates from your body to make room for the curiosity that now overwhelms you. Guillaume? That was her last name? You only ever knew her as Madame.

Yeji seems amused at your dumbfounded expression. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

You don’t know what to say. Honestly at this point, so many shocking things have happened to you that a part of you isn’t even surprised anymore to hear that Yeji knows about the PhysCom dark web. Sure. Why not?

“So is it… real?” You ask, scooting closer towards the edge of the bed.

Yeji sets down her spoon along with the empty pint of ice cream. "Yes. It's most certainly real." She folds her hands in her lap, unaware of the chocolate that's gotten around her upper lip. "But that isn't to say it's not dangerous."

You can't help the snort of a laugh that comes out of you as she talks so seriously with chocolate on her face. She looks at you askance and you wordlessly hand a tissue to her, pointing at your own mouth. "You have something…"

She blinks rapidly. "Ah, apologies." She looks over to your vanity mirror and wipes off the smudges. There's a slight lilt to her voice when she speaks, a result of the fact that Yeji always uses English around you, despite Korean being her native tongue.

You’d mentioned once that it sometimes felt weird to see others’ lips move differently to what you were hearing them say, thanks to your auto-translation chip, and she’d apparently made a note of that. Yeji has used English with you ever since, despite your assurances. It amazes you that she always goes above and beyond to make sure you're comfortable, even when it comes to speaking

Your handler clears her throat to continue. "Anyway, as I was saying. The network does have security, but no measures are foolproof. Anything you send to them has a risk of being seen by other people."

You twist your lips to the side. “Like who?”

“Well, for one, their clients could easily catch a glimpse of the chat,” she notes. “Or the information could be leaked in a security breach. You know all the leading PhysCom networks have heard whispers about this dark web you’ve discovered, and many of them would be all too eager to dismantle it.”

You automatically shake your head. You don’t know why, but the idea of the people in that chat room getting discovered, or being punished for their little spark of camaraderie… it feels wrong. Totalitarian. “But they’re not harming anyone. It’s just a group chat.”

Yeji sighs. Her lips twitch as she considers her next words. “It may seem harmless, or indeed it may even be harmless,” she states calmly. “But the higher up that one is placed, the more scared one becomes of falling. People in the higher ranks of the industry may view the chat room as a threat. Like a… PhysCom mutiny.”

“What? But that’s ridiculous!” You huff out a laugh. “They can’t possibly think we could organize a union against them. We’re illegal workers. We have no rights in society, we can’t even physically see each other.”

Sure, the risk of rebellion would be understandable in companies that employ people in respectable positions. But sex workers? That’s like being worried that drug dealers will rebel against the crooked pharmacies that supply them.

PhysComs are nothing without networks to market them and provide for their basic needs. Your career is forever tied to your network, so each network only wants the best of the best. Your reputation reflects on them as a business. So, if you get fired by your clients… your network might let you go, too.

You sigh, trying to push away such troubling thoughts. “Besides, it’s not like the people in that chat room are the only people who can fill their positions.” Your face falls a little as you continue. “We’re replaceable.”

Yeji picks up on your change in tone. “You were telling me why you think things have changed?” She waits patiently for you to explain.

You hug your knees to your chest, your gaze falling to your comforter. “I think… some of my clients might have developed feelings for me.”

You wait in silence for a beat, not daring to look up.

“Is that all?” Yeji asks, as if you’d just informed her that the toilet paper had run out.

You scoff in bewilderment. “What do you mean ‘is that all’?” You demand, a little underwhelmed by her reaction. Does she just know everything?  “That’s a huge deal! Feelings are not a part of my job.”

Yeji tilts her head to the side, her eyes cast upward as though looking for the right words. “Perhaps. You might consider it an… occupational hazard,” she says with a kind look towards you. “You may not be selling your heart to those boys, but you are selling your body, which protects your heart fiercely. After enough time, letting them touch your body… it’s inevitable they might slip through and touch your heart.” She shrugs, taking a sip of the coffee to-go cup she always seems to have on hand.

You feel exasperated, like you’ve been building up all this hot air only to have it slowly leak out of your proverbial balloon. “You don’t have to get all… philosophical about it,” you grouse half-heartedly. Yeji merely chortles.

“The insecure always cast stones at those who speak the truth,” she hums into another sip of coffee, looking over the references she’d brought with her on her phone. “Now that I’m aware of this huge deal of yours, you may want to fill in any details you, ah… forgot to mention?” She gives you a look, and you groan inwardly.

But you comply, spilling all the information of your romantic dalliances since the moment Taehyung kissed you. Yeji doesn’t hold any judgement in her face, she merely nods, taking a few notes for herself, and asking an occasional clarifying question. You also feel compelled to add in what you overheard the boys talking about before you came into the kitchen.

“They said something about a vote… and that they would hold another one at the end of the week ‘if things don’t improve’ with me. Can you believe that?” You inhale, trying to quell the anger in you before it can bubble up again.

Yeji clicks her tongue, a cold clarity in her eyes as she adjusts her glasses. “So you believe Kim Namjoon is the instigator in all of this? He would try to dismiss you, even after you confided in him?”

“He’s their leader,” you say quietly, unable to conceal the hurt in your voice. “His loyalties are to them.”

Yeji doesn’t look at you with pity, but with sympathy. You’re grateful for the distinction. Pity makes you feel worthless, but sympathy makes you feel… heard. Understood. Not something you’re used to experiencing, but it’s still a nice feeling to have.

“Well,” Yeji checks her phone, standing up to leave. “It looks like we’re just about out of time. We’d best be getting downstairs.” 

You get up as well, tugging your clothes back into place. “So, you’ll help me change his mind?”

“I must remain impartial, in order to reach a satisfactory conclusion for both parties.” She gives you a look while organizing her papers and clipping them into her briefcase. “But I’ll do what I can to negotiate you out of this so-called vacation,” she says, her voice fueled with that same resolve that she’d shown you whenever she’d been fixated on getting you something that you requested.

“Yeji.” You hesitate, then walk over and take a hold of her arm. “Just please… don’t go easy on him.” You ask, giving her a meaningful look.

She pauses and looks at you for a moment, then finally lets out a sigh with a brief flutter of her eyes. Her job isn’t easy, but then again, neither is yours.

“Alright,” Her voice is reluctant, but resolute. She gives you a brief smile with a touch of fondness, and opens the door for you. “I’ll give him hell.”

-------

You wind and unwind the drawstring of your hoodie around your finger as Yeji organizes her paperwork. The tension in the air is palpable. Namjoon sits across from you both, now dressed for the day in business casual, a white t-shirt under a blazer and slacks. He must have an interview or a photoshoot today.

Your mind wanders briefly to what he usually does when he has a schedule, asks you for a quick blowjob before he leaves. You think of that warm smile he gives you after you swallow his cum, and the tenderness of his lips as he kisses your cheek before he heads out the door.

Lewd domesticity is how he phrased the kink during his interview.

“So, Mr. Kim Namjoon,” Yeji begins, snapping you out of your memories, her voice crisp in the otherwise silent room. She’s speaking in Korean again, to more clearly communicate with him. “You and my client are in a disagreement with regards to her services, is that correct?”

Namjoon frowns. “Not exactly. We just had a… simple misunderstanding this morning.”

Yeji gives him a thin smile. “Well, she called me here, which must mean that she feels the need for professional support concerning this issue,” she continues swiftly. “There are no laws governing Physical Companions, Mr. Kim, because they are not technically legal. A black market business. Therefore, I am the closest thing my client has to legal representation, and I wouldn’t call my lawyer about a ‘simple misunderstanding’, would you?”

Namjoon’s eyes flash with something almost like regret as he glances to you. His mouth opens and closes for a moment, then he briefly shakes his head, his gaze returning to Yeji. “No, I-I wouldn’t.”

“Right.” Yeji raps her collection of papers on the oak tabletop to align them, barely giving Namjoon a glance as she begins flicking through the stack. “Now, then. My client has told me that you wish to put her on suspension, is that correct?”

Namjoon winces. “I wouldn’t say that, uh, Ms. Choi,” he says, wringing his hands together. He looks nervous, his eyes flickering from you to Yeji, and back again. “Does our PhysCom need to be present for this meeting?” He asks her, flashing a smile that would be charming and amiable, if he didn’t look so tense.

Yeji meets his gaze unflinchingly. “Yes.”

“I… um, alright.” He purses his lips with a nod.

It’s weird. In all the time you’ve known him, Namjoon has always been unfazed and collected when it comes to business. You’ve never seen him look so flustered before. Since he’s putting you in this position, it’s satisfying, in a twisted sort of way, to see him uncomfortable.

He clears his throat. “In any case, myself and my members just wanted to give her a break. Simply extend her vacation time.”

Yeji looks to you, her expression almost bored. “Do you want a vacation?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t.” You throw a glare at Namjoon before returning your gaze to the houseplant on your left, inspecting each leaf as you try to stay calm. You know if you look for too long at him, you’ll start getting worked up again. Your anger and resentment is still there, bubbling just below the surface. You hope he knows how much he hurt you.

Yeji turns back to him, inclining her head, her tone that of explaining something simple to someone who should know better. “It is against her will, so it’s considered a suspension, Mr. Kim.” She slips her glasses on, reading over the fine print on the paperwork. “My client is given two days off each month, is that correct?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Namjoon says. “One day off, every two weeks.”

Yeji raises an eyebrow. “Yet, you wish to suspend her for an entire week. That’s over three months worth of her regular vacation time. I must say, this appears to be much more than a simple extension, as you put it. I wonder why that would be?” She flips a page, skimming the words casually. “It says here that she’s received nothing but glowing reviews from all of you since she was hired six months ago.”

Namjoon shifts uncomfortably. You can tell that he’s trying to keep up his shields, but Yeji is a formidable foe with which to spar, able to find the smallest opening in an opponent’s armor and pierce through with the speed of a rapier.

“No particular reason.” Namjoon seems to settle on the answer after calculating his words.

“No reason?” Yeji’s eyes widen in mock surprise. “Mr. Kim,” She sets her papers on the table, looking at him expectantly. “I’m afraid I can’t allow this discussion to go any further unless you have a good reason for putting my client, your Primary PhysCom I might add, on suspension for an entire week.” She shakes her head with a mild shrug of indifference.

Namjoon tugs at the cuffs of his jacket. "Well, I think we can-"

Yeji interrupts him, her words slow and purposeful. “I think… it would reflect very poorly on you as a leader to make such drastic decisions,” Here, she gives a very brief smile that could be mistaken for politeness, if there was any warmth left in her eyes. “... for ‘no particular reason’. Don’t you agree, Mr. Kim?”

Damn. Hit him where it hurts, Yeji.

Namjoon’s mouth grows slack, his expression dumbfounded. You bite back a smile, eternally grateful for being assigned such a kickass handler. You make a note to request a bonus for her next paycheck.

But now Namjoon’s face has grown dark. His fingers are tented together, and he seems lost in a silent debate within his own mind. “I didn’t want to do this…” he mutters so quietly, you almost can’t make out the words.

He inhales sharply and sits up a little straighter, his composure regained. “Ms. Choi,” he begins. “I must admit, we do have some concerns about her performance.”

Your heart drops like a stone.

“Oh?” Yeji doesn’t look up at him, but starts scribbling on one of her papers. “What might those be?”

“We believe that she’s overworked, since, as you pointed out, she is our only Primary,” he explains in almost a monotone. “Her behavior has been emotional and unpredictable lately.”

At this, your gaze snaps to him, shocked. Why the fuck would he say that?

He looks down to the floor, as though ashamed, as he continues. “She’s kissed two of our members since yesterday, which is not on her list of services. She broke down crying last night during dinner. When we went to use another PhysCom, she had a meltdown. Started screaming at us.”

Your body feels numb and on fire all at once.

"We're concerned about her professionalism."

That motherfucker.

You leap to your feet, your body moving before you can think. Yeji pulls you back from physically assaulting him, but you strain against her grip like a wild animal. “You bastard!” You spit out the insult, hair falling in your face and venom in your voice, still huffing out ragged breaths as Yeji patiently calms you back into your seat.

Your hands clench so hard you dig marks into your palms. You’re shaking with unbridled rage at his betrayal. You didn't think it was possible to be so angry. Of all people, Namjoon knows exactly how dedicated you are to your work, even when you’re exhausted, how closely you stick to your professional boundaries, even when it hurts, how tirelessly you work to please all seven of them, even if it means being used over and over again without a moment to breathe. You’ve always given everything to your job.

Now he wants to turn around and say that you’ve been fucking slacking?

“You see what I mean,” Namjoon states calmly, though there’s something wavering in his eyes that doesn’t quite match the rest of his confident demeanor. He tries to meet your gaze, tries to get you to look at him, but you refuse, twisting your head away from him before you get yourself charged with murder on top of everything else.

Maybe it would be best for you to get fired. You’d rather live on the streets than be treated like this. Tears prick at your eyes but you blink them away. You refuse to cry in front of him. You won’t give him any more ammunition to use against you.

Yeji looks between you and Namjoon, her lips forming a thin line. “Kim Namjoon,” she addresses him, her voice cold. “Do you wish for my client to remain in this house?”

Namjoon seems surprised at the question, his eyebrows lifting. “Yes, of course.”

“Then, I think a recess is in order.” She stands up and brushes off some invisible lint from her skirt.

You stand up to join her, but she holds out a hand. “No. You two need to talk this out,” she says to you, then looks to Namjoon, staring him down. “I suggest you remember why we’re here, Mr. Kim.” After a moment of silence, she walks to the door. “I’ll be back in ten.”

With that, Yeji exits, and the two of you are left alone.

You cross your arms protectively around yourself, adamantly refusing to look at him. The silence stretches between you.

“Sweetheart-” he starts, but you interrupt him.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you seethe. Proprieties be damned, you’ve had enough. “Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me, you fucking asshole. I have given everything for you and your members, okay? Don’t you fucking dare sit there and tell lies about me, to my face!” You shout, trying to keep your voice from shaking. You know if you keep talking your rage will melt into tears, and you cannot afford to cry in front of him. You simply won’t allow it.

“I know, I know,” Namjoon’s assurance overlaps the end of your sentence. He sighs. Waits a beat.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah! You’d better be.” You still don’t meet his eyes, the betrayal and confusion is just too much. On top of all that, you’ve never lashed out in anger at any of them like this. You still don’t regret shouting at him, but your heart is threatening to beat out of your chest in fear of repercussions. Did you make the situation worse? Is that even possible at this point?

“Look.” His voice is tentative, a little afraid. “I really am sorry, I didn’t mean any of that.”

“Then why the fuck did you say it?” You counter sharply.

“Because!” Now it’s his turn to shout, though he seems to regain himself much more quickly than you. “Because... I don’t know if that woman can be trusted,” he reiterates quietly, as if afraid she might hear him through the door.

Wait, what?

“Yeji?” You squint in utter disbelief. “Of course she can be trusted, what the fuck are you-”

“Not with this.” He sighs again, rakes a hand through his hair. “Listen, you have to trust me.”

You bark a laugh. “Trust you?”

He shakes his head, stopping your objections before you can list them. “This is serious. This is… bigger than either of us.”

His voice is the only thing that gives you pause. Just for a moment. He sounds… desperate. Scared.

You slowly look over to him, and his expression confirms your suspicions. Namjoon is fearful about something, his eyes wide with worry, his hair mussed from being tugged between his fingers. He looks completely different from before, and it has you reluctantly curious.

“What do you mean?” You let him keep talking, though you’re still taking his words with a grain of salt.

“I was… working on something. A better arrangement,” He begins, his eyes reaching out to you, then darting nervously around the room, as if he’s letting you in on his greatest secrets. “But I stumbled onto something bigger. I just… I need you to take some time off for right now, and I need you to trust me that it’s for the best.”

You level your gaze at him, silently weighing your options. He’s being awfully vague.

“What does my time off have to do with anything?” You ask, your suspicion coloring your tone.

“It’s necessary to test my theory properly. If I’m right, then...” He trails off, and you garner that his success would bring about something monumental.

You stare at him. You want to take his words as truth, but he completely undermined you in front of your handler. You can’t let him off the hook so easily. “How can I believe anything you say anymore? You just blew any trust I had in you.”

“I know,” he says, hanging his head. He chews on his lip, then takes a deep breath. “That’s why I’m willing to offer some… collateral.”

He reaches into his pocket and withdraws something small and shiny. “This.” He holds out the object to you, dangling from a short metal chain. “It’s the key to my studio.” His gaze bores into yours as you tentatively reach forward to take it. “The only key,” he adds gravely.

You examine the silver peace offering, and your eyes widen at the implications of such a gesture. His whole life is in that studio. All of his art, his collections, not to mention his computer. His music. His career.

It’s all sitting in the palm of your hand.

He reaches across the table and closes your hand around the key. “You can keep it until I’ve earned your trust again. Okay?” He gives you a brief, dimpled smile, as if to assure you, though sadness and worry still swim behind his eyes.

“Now, sweetheart. Please. I beg of you.” He takes your hand in both of his own, his worried eyes imploring you to trust him. “Please, will you take this vacation?”

[yikesharringrove]

could write steve femme with billy sugar daddy who loves to spoil his princess.

So, there’s a fluff here, a little angst, and a LOT of daddy kink, and some fucking KINKY SMUT I have no idea where it came from, so, you have been warned. Like I said, I have no control over these boys Ever and Billy got real horny I had to google a lot of Stuff I’m sorry.

There’s some child abuse right away, Steve’s dad is shitty and homophobic.

Also they have an age gap, bc I wanted sugar daddy Billy to be older, Steve is 19, Billy’s thirty, it’s not really mentioned, but if that is something that makes you uncomfortable, pls don’t read.

Also modern au.

Its fucking filthy why is Billy so gross.

Read on ao3!

Steve was seventeen the day his dad caught him putting on makeup.

He was in a little skirt, the sweet pastel blue was nice on his pale skin, the lace of the bralette poking out from beneath the old t-shirt he had cropped himself.

He was finishing his highlighter, smiling coyly to himself when his dad walked in, whatever question he was going to ask dying on his lips. He slapped Steve right across the face, told him he had an hour to pack his shit and leave, letting him know, with no holds barred, that he would rather have no son than a queer one, a disappointing one, an embarrassing one.

So Steve packed his shit, and lived in the Henderson’s spare bedroom for a little under a year, saving up as much money as he could before buying a bus ticket to California and never looking back.

He found a shitty L.A. apartment on Craigslist, a few girls looking for another person. It was small, but well kept, and cheap and the girls were sweet, didn’t mind that he had just as much makeup as they did, would often swap clothes around.

He worked any job he could find, always holding at least two at once, typically juggling three. It was while working part-time as a server at some fancy place he met Billy Hargrove. The guy was beautiful. Had curly blonde hair he would tie into a bun, these piercing blue eyes. He worked in some kinda tech, had made probably millions doing something Steve would never understand. But he took a liking to Steve, would come a few times a week to the restaurant, would insist on sitting in Steve’s section, went as far as reserving the same table every Monday Friday and Saturday, the nights he knew Steve had shifts.

He would typically eat alone, would smirk up at Steve and lick his lips, delighted when Steve would get a little red.

He always left ridiculously large tips, wads of cash Steve would shove in his pocket.

After close to two months, of this, of light flirting and triple-digit tips, Billy finally made a move, politely asking Steve if he would be interested on going on a date sometime.

Steve was overjoyed he hadn’t gone on a date since he was seventeen, about two years ago. He told Billy he’d love to, but he worked every night. To that Billy offered to double whatever he would make on Saturday night, his own exorbitant tip included. Steve just spluttered, saying that was unnecessary and he can just call out.

So they went out on Saturday night. Billy picked him up from his shitty apartment, the girls he lived with cooing over how beautiful Billy is, like Steve doesn’t already know. He closed the door of the expensive vintage car behind Steve, sliding into the drivers side, eyeing Steve and saying you look gorgeous. Steve had wanted to keep it simple, not release his entire femme self on this guy, had worn old slacks and a button-down, but his nails were painted, and he had on some makeup, foundation, contour, highlight, light blended eye shadow and the thinnest black liner, right on his lash line, false lashes short, understated. It was much less than what he wanted, but didn’t know how well that’d go over with Billy.

Billy took him to some nice place on the other side of town, and was the best date Steve had ever had. He was polite, asked all the right questions, gave all the right compliments. Had fed Steve bites of expensive foods off his own plate, expensive foods Steve hadn’t been treated to since his rich parents kicked him out. He walked him to his door at the end of the night, kissing him chastely with a promise to call the next day.

And call he did. He told Steve he was outside, to get dressed and meet him, that they were going shopping. Steve flew out the door, not even realizing he had thrown on a shift dress, a black faux silk one with lace trim, topping it with an old denim jacket. Billy just ran his hands down the creamy fabric and told him he looked so pretty for me today. They went to designer stores, and Billy shelled out what must have been thousands on Steve, buying him pretty silk dresses, cute little skirts, making Steve show him everything he tried on.

Their next date was dinner the following weekend, Billy having to leave town for work, but called Steve every night. Steve quit one of his jobs, the juice bar down the street that paid minimum and left him wanting in the tip department.

They went out, and Steve wore a lovely green chiffon dress Billy had purchased for him, had giggled when Billy had spun him around, taking in the floaty sheer fabric. They had sex for the first time that night, Billy had taken off the black lace panties with his teeth before eating Steve out for maybe hours. Steve stayed the night at Billy’s place, a spacious penthouse apartment in the city, huge windows giving a panoramic view of the hills.

They had been together for a month when Billy called himself daddy, had eased Steve into it with a don’t you want to be a good girl for Daddy?, while Steve nodded and sobbed, coming on Billy’s fist.

Steve didn’t need convincing, but Billy still sat him down, explained what being a daddy meant to him.

“I want to take care of you. Want to buy you pretty things, want to keep you happy, want to keep you safe.”

Steve was kicked out at seventeen by his neglectful father, he was on board with the idea of having Billy, of having his daddy take care of him.

So he quit another job, just keeping the one fancy restaurant, the tips making up for the part-time hours.

They had been together for six months when Billy asked him to move in. Had said Daddy just wants you where I can see you, take care of you.

So Steve had kissed his girls goodbye, left them enough rent to cover his share for a few months, and moved in with Billy.

Billy gave him an entire room to keep his wardrobe in. Had a beautiful white vanity built against one wall for his makeup, had shelves to display shoes, bags, jewelry, had even filled some of the shelves with new things, new outfits made from liquid soft fabrics.

They celebrated that night by shopping for beautiful lingerie Steve modeled for Billy, posing as he took photos of Steve with an old Polaroid. He fucked Steve with a vibrator for two hours after that, edging him until he was inside, letting him cum if he begged.

So Steve found himself living the most luxurious life, spent most of the day in nothing but pretty lingerie, his daddy’s shirts, or nothing at all. He was at his daddy’s beck and call. He quit his final job, having no reason to keep it, wanting no reason to leave his daddy’s side.

Billy was paying bills in his office when Steve came trotting in, silently pawing at Billy’s legs, wanting to crawl under the desk.

“Use your words, Sugar.” Billy didn’t even look up at him. Steve whined. “Words, Baby, be a good girl.”

“Want you in my mouth. Wanna keep you warm.” When Steve got all up in his emotions about something, he would do this. Would climb under Billy’s desk and let his cock sit in his mouth. Would let his mind go blank and let himself drop. So that’s what he did, carefully took Billy out of his slacks, and put his mouth around him, just rested the weight of his dick on his tongue, not sucking, just, sitting.

He liked the darkness of the space beneath the desk, the smell of Billy, his cologne mingling with his natural musk, and he loved the taste, Billy’s skin clean, the salty bitterness of cum was always on his mind, would be on his tongue once Billy finished his work, let Steve go to town.

He had been sat down there for a while, thinking about nothing at all, just letting himself be, when Billy’s hand pet through his hair. He looked up through his false lashes, blinking slowly at Billy.

“You look so pretty, on your knees for me. Know how much you love having Daddy’s cock in your mouth. Why don’t you take me a little deeper, Princess?” Steve moaned as Billy got hard, taking him as far as he could.

Steve loved gagging on Billy’s cock, loved when it hit the back of his throat and his eyes welled up and drool ran down his chin. He sucked for a few minutes, bobbing his head, feeling his own cock harden in his panties, peeking out the top of the lace band. Billy pulled him up by the hair, settling Steve on his lap before standing, walking through the apartment holding Steve, making his way to their bedroom.

The bed was a queen, Billy liked it smaller so that he could cuddle Steve, never wanted him too far out of reach. He put Steve gently down on it, taking in his flushed chest, the way his little panties clung desperately to his hard cock, the way his nipples could easily be seen in the sheer babydoll.

“So beautiful, all dressed up for Daddy.” Steve blushed.

“I have a surprise for you, Daddy.”

“For me? That’s so sweet of you, Kitten.” Steve rolled over, pressing his hips in the air.

The panties were open in the back, just in the right place to see the jewel tip of the plug he had stuffed himself with. Billy knew it was one the big ones, knew Steve was asking for it rough tonight.

“You get yourself all ready for me?” He flicked at the plug, Steve whimpered. “You know that Daddy loves fingering you, Baby. Loves fucking you open with one of your toys. Why didn’t you ask Daddy if you could do this yourself?”

“I, I thought you would like it. I’m sorry, Daddy.” Billy tutted.

“Sorry won’t cut it, Daddy’s going to have to punish you.” Steve whimpered as he squirmed on the bed, watching as Billy got up and went to the large drawer they kept filled with sex toys. He selected carefully, bringing a few things and placing them behind Steve. “Strip for me, Baby Girl.”

Steve did as he was told, always did as he was told, slowly pulling the baby doll up, avoiding the perfect makeup on his face, letting the smooth material drop to the ground. He turned around to push the panties down, knew Billy would want to stare at his ass, always wanted to stare at his ass. He re-situated himself on the bed, laying on his back, looking at Billy expectantly.

The first thing he did was gag him.

The pastel pink ball was a favorite of Steve’s, he loved feeling used, so drooling around a gag as Billy did whatever the fuck he wanted to him, was pretty good.

The cuffs came next. They were leather, padded on the inside so they wouldn’t hurt Steve’s delicate wrists, wouldn’t leave red marks and burns like metal cuffs and ropes did.

When Steve was ready, Billy folded him up, cuffing his wrists to the headboard, the spreader bar keeping his legs open tucked under his hands, forcing him open, on display for Billy.

“Since you were so bad, Daddy’s gonna try something new.” He began shifting the plug in Steve’s ass, pulling it out. He swapped it for another, a slightly smaller one Steve dreaded. It was long, and when Billy turned it on, controlled it from an app on his phone, it dug right into Steve’s prostate. “I’m gonna leave this in, but I’m gonna try a new toy on you. make it so you can’t cum, no matter how much you want to.” He showed Steve the new toy.

It was small, a little silver ball at the end of a curved piece, attaching to a ring.

“I’m gonna put this inside you. Really plug you up.” Steve moaned when he realized it would be going in his cock. “Yeah? You want that?” He nodded as best as he could. Billy grinned opening one of the bottles of lube they kept in the drawer as well, kept stashed all around the apartment.

He lubed up the little thing, sliding the ring over Steve’s dick, settling it just under the head. “You ready, Princess?” Steve modded again and Billy pressed the little ball in.

Steve was so full. His ass was plugged, mouth gagged, and now there was something filling his penis, keeping him hard but anything inside.

Billy stood up, coming up the bed and settling in near Steve’s head. He had once tied Steve up with the vibrating plug, and left for his office for an hour or so. Leaving Steve alone through his orgasms had been bad, Steve had been a crying mess when Billy found him again, and not in a good way. He had held Steve close all night and apologized profusely for being a bad daddy, and he never left Steve’s sight when they were fooling around.

The vibrator jolted inside Steve and he whimpered, let Billy rake his fingers through his hair, pet down his thighs and tell him he was being so good for Daddy.

Steve writhed as best as he could, cuffed and bent as he was. He was drooling around the gag. Billy sat next to him, whispering praise into his hair, touching his pretty skin. The vibrator was buzzing roughly right against that spot. Steve was moaning, making as many noises as he could around the pink gag. He couldn’t take it.

“You can cum, Princess. Whenever you’re ready. You don’t need Daddy’s permission.” His back went tense, his legs straining against his arms where his wrists were keeping the spreader bar in place. His balls tightened, but it felt like it went on for hours. The little ball plugging his cock up kept everything inside, kept him from any relief.

His eyes were wide as he looked at Billy.

“You always look so beautiful when you cum, with nothing but a big toy in your tight little hole.” Billy was now pressing on the base of the vibrator, shifting it around inside Steve. “You have another one for Daddy?” Steve nodded, feeling like he hadn’t stopped cumming. “Let me see.”

He felt tears begin to run from his eyes the next time, still chasing release, but getting nothing.

It was intense.

Steve was sobbing out around the gag, spitting out muffled pleas, begging his daddy to let him find release. His legs were shaking, thighs trembling as Billy turned off the plug, the thing getting four unsatisfying orgasms out of him.

“Such a good girl, for Daddy. You want my cock, Baby? You want Daddy to fuck you.” Billy was moving back to his hips, wiggling the vibrator in him, one eyebrow raised.

Steve nodded, eyes wide.

Billy slowly took the plug out, Steve’s eyes rolling back his back tensing. He took off his slacks, throwing his expensive clothes in a heap on the floor, knowing the maid would get them later. He poured more lube onto Steve, dragging his cock through it, slicking himself up as Steve whined.

He pressed in roughly, Steve gasping around the pink gag.

Billy didn’t give him any time, setting a bruising pace, Steve barely holding on to his sanity.

He was drawn tight, the silver ball stoppering him up. He felt like an elastic, pulled tight, near snapping if he didn’t get to cum soon, like seriously cum he felt like he was gonna break into pieces.

“You want Daddy to take it out? Make mess outta yourself?” Steve nodded, eyebrows drawn. Billy leaned down, draped himself over his body, rasping in his ear. “Well, not until Daddy gets to come.” He bit at the lobe of Steve’s ear, upping his pace, hips punishing.

Steve had come again while Billy was fucking into him, had dropped into that space, let his mind go blank except for the steady stream of DaddyDaddyDaddy.

Billy went still, tense on top of Steve as he finished, cumming deep in Steve. He slumped for a moment, breathing deeply, taking in Steve’s scent, the floral perfume Billy had to keep buying him, he used it so much.

Steve whined and he came back to himself, back to his baby underneath him, still cuffed and bent, plugged.

“So good, so perfect, Princess. Always give Daddy just what he wants, what he needs.” Steve gasped as Billy thumbed at his cock, running the pad of his fingers along the silver ring. “You made Daddy cum, you can have this out now, you want that?” Steve nodded, eyes pleading.

Billy slowly took the ring off, the silver ball coming out of him.

Steve felt like he was exploding. His pent up orgasms ripping out of him. He swears he must’ve blacked out.

When he came back, he was cleaned up, the cuffs gone from his wrists, the toys put away. He was under the covers, Billy holding him to his chest. He shuffled around, making a soft noise.

“Welcome back, Princess.” Steve smiled as Billy kissed the top of his head. “That okay for you?”

“Yeah, it was, it was good.” Billy just brought him in closer, tightened his arms around his baby.

“I love you, Stevie. Love you so much, Princess.”

“Love you, Daddy.”

[bqstqnbruin]

Date Night

So like, some really exciting news, but I got accepted into UPenn for my masters this morning! I was holding office hours for my students when I got the email and had to do everything in my power to not freak out over it. 

But this is another request (I LOVE GETTING REQUESTS) so thank you to the angel human who sent it in!

Here is the original request!

_________________________

Vancouver was still completely foreign to you; you moved there about two months ago because of a new job. Luckily, one of your friends from college was looking for a roommate at the same time, so you swooped in and had a place to live. 

“Are you gonna go out with that hockey player?” Your roommate asks you one night.

“Who, Brock?” your roommate had a friend who was friends with some of the guys who played for the Canucks. You were a Blue Jackets girl yourself, but, they insisted on setting you up with Brock Boeser. He wanted to start dating, and you knew exactly five people outside of your roommate and your work friends and needed a bigger friend group.

“Uh, yeah. The literal Prince Charming of the NHL,” she yells.

“Yeah, tomorrow night.” Prince Charming? He was hot in photos, but you don’t see the Prince Charming aspect of him.

“Oh thank god!” 

Brock had texted you to meet at the Granville Island Public Market. 

“What do you want to get? Have you ever been here before? 

“Uh, I don’t even know what’s here, I’ve never been here.” 

“Alright, then do you want me to pick, or do we want to do a lap and then you can pick?”

If this was how the rest of the night was going to go, then you didn’t see a second date happening.

“Uh, how about you pick? You’ve been here longer than I have, you know the good stuff, right?” you say, giving him a smile that was trying to not be too awkward. 

It took a solid five minutes to weave through the crowded market, him taking you to what he kept saying was ‘his favorite place.’ You could feel the eyes of the other people fall on you as you walked around with one of the area’s biggest athletes. Because of the crowd, at one point he grabbed your hand. With his fingers intertwined in yours, all the awkwardness seemed to melt away. It felt right. 

You finally found your way to Gourmet Wok. “Is this alright?”

The smell of lemon chicken, sweet and sour pork, wontons and sticky rice hit your nose, “Yeah, I’m down.” 

He insisted on ordering for you since he wanted you to have something great your first time going. After that, you were on your own to figure out the rest of that restaurant. “If you need help with the others, you just have to call me,” he winked, flashing a cheeky grin and walked away to go order while you found a place to sit. 

You finally understood the Prince Charming reference. He literally looked like an actual Disney prince. And he was as charming as any man you’ve ever met.

“Alright, I got you curry chicken and veggies on rice.” He says, finally coming back after what felt like ages. 

“Oh my god, this smells so good. What did you get?” 

“Shanghai noodle with meat.”

“What kind of meat?” 

“Beef? I don’t know. Something amazing.” he says, laughing, pushing his food toward you. “Here, try it.” 

While you take his food, he reaches over to take some of yours. “Hey, hey, hey! What gives?” you tease, throwing some rice from your plate at him.

He dodges it, pretending to throw a much messier vegetable at you. “I paid for it! I can steal a little if I want, it’s only fair.” he grins again, making you melt and smile back at him.

“Fine, that just means next time I’m buying the food.” You didn’t even know you wanted ‘a next time,’ but something about him made you think there would be more than just this.

“Oh, no. I already have our next date planned, and it does not involve buying food, it involves a picnic of prepared foods, by me.”

“You already have it planned?” you feel yourself blushing as you try to take a bite of some of your food to distract him from your cheeks that were obviously turning bright red. 

“Well, I have two ideas, especially since you seem to never go out of your home or your office.” he teases.

“I’m an accountant for RYU, calm down. I do a lot of stuff every day!” 

Brock rolls his eyes, the smile still plastering his face. “Anyway, I was thinking we could either go to Stanley Park given that it’s not too cold, and have a picnic there. But that’s just one option for us to do at some point. Or we could drive along BC-99 and find a place to stop there and just look out at the scenery. Your friend also said you work out, which is great because my favorite place to go work out is the Cleveland Dam, so we could go there. Or we could...”

He keeps going on about all the dates he has planned out. He actually has at least ten more dates for you two all planned out. You’re sure he does this with any girl, but he looks so cute getting all excited about the stuff he wants to do with you.

“So which one sounds good to you? When’s the next time you’re free? I don’t have anything going on Saturday.”

“Do you want to do BC-99? Let me pack the picnic but you’re driving on Saturday.” 

The rest of the night was you two talking about your lives; his life before playing for the Canucks, your life before moving to another country for work. The conversation seemed to never end as you jumped from subject to subject, laughing at each other opening up about dumb stuff you’ve done in past, talking about your favorite memories growing up, crazy hypotheticals like if you had the ability to time travel, where would you go. You said you would go back to the flapper era in New York, right before the depression; he would want to go one hundred years into the future to Los Angeles to see how the movie industry changed. 

Before the market closes, he takes you by the hand to lead you to A La Mode for some dessert. Running his free hand through his hair, he says, “The lemon meringue pie is to die for.” 

“Lemon meringue is my favorite!”

He orders for you, again paying. “I said I’m paying tonight, I don’t know what you want from me.” 

“That just means I’m bringing more food for Saturday.” “Oh, no. What ever will we do with more food?” 

You couldn’t wait to see.