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jq37 · 4 years ago

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 12 Rescue at Buzzybrook

The Peppermint Knight Rises

Welcome to an extremely wild two minutes in the lives of the Rocks family and all those assembled to witness the insanity about to take place.

The gang (along w/ Cara, Manta Ray Jack, and Rina’s crew) have poofed into Buzzybrook where Liam’s dad--Joren Jawbreaker--is about to be executed. They’re able to stay relatively stealthy on their group stealth check (despite Rina’s Nat 1) and, peeking outside, the group sees Bulbian priests, Imperial soldiers, and Ceresian soldiers (like, Ciabatta’s men, not Imperials). Their flags are stationed outside of various cottages in the area (which Ruby uses Mage Hand, her rogue skills, and a grudgingly accepted help action from Rina to unlock). Rina also helps Cara with her concentration checks on the teleportation spell by casting Wall of Ice (the special ability of her staff, Winterscoop) to give her a protected area which Cara just lets happen because sure, why not?

Just to set the scene a little more, it’s dark outside except for some lit braziers, the village has been largely burned down except for the cottages I mentioned before, and the citizens are being forced to march to the gallows to watch the execution, though Joren hasn’t been brought out yet. With all the banners of the different factions gathered together, it seems almost celebratory. They’re within the standing stones which is in what’s called a sugar hut--basically, just a kind of house built over the standing stones so they can claim it’s a Candian cultural thing and not witchcraft if Bulbian missionaries show up.

Liam and Ruby decide to check out the cottages to get a better idea of what’s going on. Liam, in his cottage, finds Oliver Onionpatch (the Bulbian Archbishop) speedily transcribing information into his book including pictures/schematics of monsters, Ceresian constructs, war engines like Lazuli was working on, and liquid daggers. It seems like Ciabatta gave Alfredi’s notes to the church and they are expanding on them. He’s being guarded by Bonathan Flashfry (fry guy from Jet’s fight). Liam casts Hunter’s Mark on Onionpatch. In her cottage, Ruby sees Grissini speaking to Spearia Mentha (Liam’s mom) who is chained up. Ruby tells Liam who tells her what he found and then Ruby fills in Theo.

While they’re working on a plan, Jawbreaker is led to the noose and they start to read his crimes. Liam casts Disguise Self to look like Onionpatch. They pull the lever and Jawbreaker begins to hang and the gang rolls for initiative!

Because of the circumstances the party gets a surprise round.

Jawbreaker succeeds on his first death save but, even if he hadn’t, he would have been in good hands because Theo Misty Steps to the gallows, and cuts him down before running for cover.

Liam, on a Nat 1, shatters the glass while trying to attack Onionpatch fully giving away his position. That single mistake out of his system, Liam once again goes full Peppermint Batman and hits Onionpatch (and, judging by his reaction, Brennan by proxy) with two more attacks--one of them being a Nat 20--for a total of *84 points of damage*. He uses his movement to hide in the next house over where he has great line of sight for another attack (and he hides with a Nat 20 plus his natural plus 10 plus Pass Without a Trace for a total of 40 which is the DC for things that are nigh impossible).

Ruby casts Jump to help with her movement and gets into position to help break Spearia out. Grissini who was snapped out of his surprise when Theo did his thing starts yelling orders to his men outside.

Reap the Whirlwind

And then it’s Saccharina’s turn.

Yeah, I know I said her full name was annoying to type out every time but she deserves to get her full name for what she’s about to do.

Rina runs through the crowd, uses her Storm Sorcerer ability to Fly (which she can do before she casts a 1st level spell or higher which is such cool flavor and good for utility as well--in this case it means she doesn’t take opportunity attacks). She casts Thunderstep at 4th level (which is like Misty Step but you can take someone with you and it does AoE damage when you poof away) and uses her Channel Divinity from her Tempest Domain Cleric levels to auto do max damage (40 or half if they save) and they also get another plus three because it’s lightning damage (she has some kind of aura that does that) *and* she uses Quicken Spell (a Sorc thing that lets you cast a spell that takes an action as a bonus action) to cast Spare the Dying on Jawbreaker as she brings him to safety.

If Liam is Batman then Rina is Storm, for sure.

Brennan is ruined but everyone else is *loving it*--me included. She takes out a bunch of weakling enemies even at without seeing if they save and the few (I think 4) who are left are not doing great. She hands over Jawbreaker to Amethar and has Gooey and Swifty go to Theo and help him out.

Cumulous rushes in, finishes off two more of the injured guards, and dives into the hole under the gallows for cover.

Amethar starts herding the civilians into the sugar hut so they can all escape together, tells Jack to help start cleaning up these soldiers, and goes to work himself, going into a rage and killing two Ceresians. Jack kills one too and the citizens start running to safety.

Theo sees that the house he’s hiding behind is full of sick ass weapons so he kills the single guard and Gooey and Swifty (Swifty very gleefully) help him with some looting.

Grissini leaves his cottage to order around his men which Ruby is very happy about as it makes the sneaking she’s about to do a lot easier.

Back in John Wick, staring Liam Wilhelmina, he does another 23 points of damage to Onionpatch and yells at him in Bulbosi (while disguised as him mind you), “You have made a big mistake.”

Ruby springs Spearia and casts Invisibility on her so she can safely make her way to the others.

Grissini whistles and a soldier lights a signal fire. Some bread guys crowd Amethar but he doesn’t take much damage and actually kills one with a Riposte reaction--one of Jet’s old tricks.

Saccharina--I gotta give her her full name again--clocks a very convenient straight line of enemies and casts Lightning Bolt at 4th Level (using another Sorc trick, Empower Spell, to reroll her low damage dice) for 39 damage + 3 for her aura. Even without rolling saves for half damage, this fully kills everyone but Grissini who is badly injured. And just to make things worse, she uses Grissini to conduct the lightning and has it set his banner on fire.

Cumulous whiffs a couple of attacks, jumps on a roof and then (along with Liam) fails a Perception check, which is always fun as a player.

Amethar runs over to Grissini, attacks of opportunity be damned, and says, “Do you remember my daughter?” Grissini who has just been electrocuted, is a little out of it but Amethar says that Jet might be dead but he just met his new daughter (except, in the heat of the moment, he says it less coherently) and attacks him. Rina (or really Emily who knows exactly what she is doing) calls it a daddy-daughter special. Grissini is F’d up but not near death.

But speaking of people who are near death, Onionpatch yells, “Bulb protect me!” in Liam’s general direction, causing the house he’s in to catch on fire. Liam takes 18 points of fire damage.

Jack kills another baddie and the rest of the civilians run into the sugar hut.

Mom Said We’re Leaving!

And then, suddenly, these huge, terrifying, bread constructs arrive on the scene (along with a giant corn monster that everyone immediately insists is cute because Brennan will never win this one and should really stop trying unless he’s a fan of futility). Amethar takes some hits and then has to make Con Saving throws. He fails one of them which reduces his HP max by the damage of the first hit he took from this thing (4 pts). One goes for Rina but she Shields and takes nothing. One goes for Jack (doesn’t hit) and one goes for the Standing Stones. Theo casts Compelled Duel on one of the constructs to draw fire but can’t hit (2 Nat 1s in a row!)

Grissini does a bunch of damage to Amethar and then grants an attack to the nearest bread monster who crits on Rina for 31 points of damage, bringing her down to 18, but she passes her Con saving throw (she only has to do one for some reason).

Liam busts into the house with Onionpatch and demands to know who’s in the military tent with a Nat 20 Intimidation check. Onionpatch, who’s basically pissing himself, says that it’s Kerradin’s tent but he’s not in there at the moment because he’s tracking down escaped prisoners. Onionpatch blubbers that all the different factions are there on behalf of the Pontifex and are in talks with Plumbeline to create a new Concord. There are tons of letters and maps and information in the tent and he can tell them everything. Guess what idiot? You already did. Liam ices him with another Nat 20 and takes his book. As he does so, he basically speedruns the entire rest of puberty and sheds his teenage awkwardness (I mean, allegedly. I’ll believe it if he can talk to Annabelle without getting slapped). The pages that have ripped from the book are effortlessly placed back in with shadow magic. He also fires an arrow at Bonathan as he exits because why not? He lets Ruby know about the info in the tent so, on her turn she sends Spearia away, and goes for it.

Cara basically yells at everyone and they have one round to get into the car because the meter’s about to run out and she’s gotta go.

Ruby takes 34 points of damage from archers. Rina gets Amethar to safety with Fly plus another Thunderstep and sends Swifty to help Ruby if necessary. Cumulous gets to safety as well (killing one more guy for the road). The constructs try to crack the standing stones but fail.

Amether, channeling Jet yet again, does some Maneuvering Attacks to give Ruby some instant movement to get into the tent and grab the map with all the Imperial/Ceresian military troop movement info and start to run back. Jack gets to safety.

The constructs try and fail to crack the stones again. One of them attacks Theo for 45 points of damage and then he fails one of his saves, dropping his HP max by 30. Theo holds his turn until Liam and Ruby make it to safety. Gooey and Swifty make it in.

Kerradin suddenly shows up and Liam has to summon all of his self control to not go after him. He instead taunts him by showing him the book he got from Onionpatch, and (taking damage as he does so) slides into the sugar hut. His mom, invisible, places a hand on his cheek and says, “Oh no. They took my sweet baby and made him a war guy.”

Grissini Nat 20’s to attack on Amethar but Theo takes the 38 points of damage which drops him dangerously low for Theo standards (like low 20s or the teens). Theo runs in. One of the archers Nat 20 on Ruby who’s hit for 4 points after she Uncanny Dodges (she’s at 21).

Like Liam, Ruby very reluctantly does the smart thing and, instead of going for Grissini so she can get at least one kill this fight, dives into the hut. Cara let’s the spell go off right as Grisini tells the constructs to charge and Jawbreaker regains consciousness, looking proudly into the face of his son, Preston. No wait, that’s not right.

Medal of Honor

EMILY AXFORD LET’S GOOOOOO

Saccharina really said, “First impressions? Don’t know her. SECOND impressions are where it’s at.” Like, dare I say, instant legend? First fight of the game and she instantly fulfills the win condition, frying a bunch of dudes just, incidentally (but w/ surgical precision from an out of game point of view with all that deft use of action economy and sorcerer mojo). What and ENTRANCE. And then that Lightning? Brennan said it best on Adventuring Party. If you saw her do that, you would have no choice but to follow her.

But honestly, she lowkey deserves a medal just for joining the party with two levels of cleric. That alone is damn near heroic at this point.

I can’t believe Brennan let *Emily Axford* have spell cards in his gritty, low magic setting. My guy really served himself his own dice. Bon Appetit dude and, again, welcome back Emily!

Things I’m Concerned About

I mean, I can’t say that I’m surprised about the collusion going on but I don’t love it. I really hope the group gets to talk to Plumbeline again before the end of this. Just to see what she has to say to Amethar and visa-versa. It was an interesting dynamic before she decided to turn traitor and it’s even more interesting now.

Since when can Bulbian priests do magic? Miracle working is supposed to be super rare, right? Like the Pontifex could heal herself but that was the only thing we knew of that was real Bulb magic (along with Citrina’s book I guess but she’s dead). But Onionpatch used magic against Liam and a different priest did some abjuration on Theo. Are they using Bulbian magic or faking like Lapin was? Or is this something new?

Really don’t love that those bread constructs were making people roll Con Saves. I instantly thought it was a water dagger thing (since they did have those plans too) but then he said 2 saves and not 3. Not sure what the other save was since I think we only saw the “drop max HP” effect. And I don’t know why Rina only had to roll 1 and not 2. Either way, I hope Liam stealing that book at least slowed them down because this is Bad Info for them to have.

Five More Things

Just so you know, Rina’s build is 6 levels Storm Sorc, 2 levels Tempest Domain Cleric.

The dynamic of Swifty and Theo is low-key the funniest thing. I want them to team up always. Also funny was Brennan’s straight-faced “Correct” to being asked if what Onionpatch just saw was himself pull a crossbow on him.

Listen, I need to know if Grissini has enough information to know that he’s working for the bad guys. Like, if he has the information and he chooses to be complacent then cool kill him, that’s fine. I’ve seen The Sound of Music and we all hate Rolf. But I gotta know. What are the odds that Amethar invoking Jet will pay dividends later? (Again, it did not work in The Sound of Music. And now I kinda wanna watch Sound of Music).

Grissini knows Jet is dead. Has the news fully spread? Does Primsy know? If so, sad! If not, even sadder but on a time delayed fuse!

I already mentioned this earlier and when the episode aired but the absolute DUNKING of Brennan this episode by Emily and Ally. Man oh man the LOOK on the dude’s face? The glee from everyone else? All those dice Ally rolled? All the people Emily iced without even having to roll dice? The gang sorely needed a win and, folks, this was it.

AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

Listen, we all know Wednesdays are for D20. And, for a lot of y’all, I’m sure Thursdays are for CritRole and/or Naddpod. But what are you doing Tuesdays (or at least every other Tuesday)? Well, I’m gonna tell you what. @drinkingdeadpeopletea (who you’ve probably seen around as she’s active in all three of the aforementioned fandoms) is launching a D&D podcast called Ship of Fools and it drops TOMORROW with a two episode premiere. It’s D&D! It’s nautical! And it’s being DM’d by her so I can confidently say that it’s gonna be hilarious and a super fun time! So if you want even more D&D in your life (rhetorical question, all of us do) check it out!

#a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #the report card

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jq37 · 4 years ago

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 16 For Candia (Part 1)

The Second Most Stressful Conversation All Season

The Rocks family sails up to Cola River, concealed in Primsy’s ships with a small contingent of soldiers. As they go, they pick up another set of allies--the remaining knights from Theo’s order.

Ruby gets called to speak with her mom and dad and Cara asks her to close the door behind her. When she speaks, it’s with more candor than she’s ever used with Ruby that we’ve seen. She says that all she’s ever wanted for Ruby was her safety and she tried to secure that by protecting her from secrets but now she is truly a woman grown and the best way to protect her is by sharing secrets, an approach Ruby seems to appreciate.

Cara fills her in on what she and Amethar learned last episode--Ghee died before she married Amethar. That means she’s still queen, he’s still king, and though Rina is still Amethar’s first born heir, Ruby is also trueborn.

Ruby asks if they’re going to tell people and Amethar says he wants to wait. Things are heightened right now and it would make things weird in battle. Ruby says that if that’s what he wants, she won’t tell anyone. Ruby also says she doesn’t trust Rina’s people, something Amethar cites as another reason he doesn’t want to tell people yet.

Cara asks Ruby’s opinion on Rina and she says that she thinks she’s dangerous. Cara agrees and Amethar thinks she’s being a little harsh in her assessment but Ruby goes on. She thinks that Rina has tunnel vision in her hatred of the church and there are good people who follow the Bulb (again, Cara is a devout Bulbian). Cara chimes in that Port Syrup is in ruins because of her people. Amethar wants to delay all this talk but Cara drops an absolute banger of a line, “Amethar. The delay of conversation has been perhaps your most cardinal sin.”

Ruby thinks that maybe Rina can be good but her people are full stop, bad. She didn’t order Port Syrup sacked (good) but it was by her people in her name (bad) and she doesn’t seem super bothered by the collateral damage (also bad). However, she does think that maybe if she wasn’t surrounded by these people, she'd make different choices.

Cara says that with Rina on the throne, Candia’s future is written in flame. She says that Theo was pretty quick to join up with Rina and asks Amethar what he thinks he’ll do with the new info about his kingship. Amethar thinks he’ll be loyal so she thinks maybe they can tell him but Ruby points out that he’s not good with secrets. Cara says that’s a wise observation. She also says, in not so many words, that this is going to be a dangerous battle and during dangerous battles, sometimes people--like your husband’s pesky half daughter who is bumping your own daughter in the line of succession and has a merry band of war criminals--die.

“Hey, you’re talking about my daughter,” says Amethar.

“I am talking about the future of Candia,” says Cara.

She tells Ruby that if she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to talk to Theo, that’s fine, but she should listen to her heart. She has the sight for the future to come and “If fortune cannot be on our side, we will have to do what fortune cannot.”

The Most Stressful Conversation All Season

The ship continues to sail upriver. Brennan makes a little roll that he doesn’t announce but seems entirely too pleased about.

There’s a lot of debate about arriving and attacking and they decide to get to Dulcington late so they have cover but can attack when it starts to get light and have some visability for archers and such.

It’s the middle of the night as they approach their destination and Rina hears a knock at her door. It’s Swifty and, wouldn’t you know it, he just eavesdropped on a *reaaaaaal* interesting conversation by the royal family (we get a quick cut to Brennan’s mystery-roll). But before he can spill the tea, she stops to tell him (and Gooey who is also there doing the bodyguard thing) that she was *not* about the carnage of Port Syrup. They NEED to be better than that. These people may never accept her but she doesn’t want them to *hate* her. Swifty is like, “lol, about that.” She tells her what he heard--or at least *some* of what he heard. He tell her about the death/wedding timeline and about the fact that they’ve been sitting on the news for a day (leaving out the bits where Amethar defended her and Ruby thought she might be good) and implies that they’re waiting for her to die in battle (something Cara implied in fairness) or kill her themselves (a little more of a leap--but not by much). Rina, not quite seething but something akin to it, says that if they had just told her this information, she would have worked with them seeing as the crown was only ever a means to an end for her but they had to be dishonest with her. Swifty says he’s excited to waste all their enemies during the upcoming battle and, once it’s over, if she wants them to turn their slaughter efforts a little closer to home, she just has to say the word. In response, she says she wants to speak to Theo so she can seek his counsel. She also reiterates that the Port Syrup debacle was a full war crime and shouldn’t have happened regardless of her relationship with the Rocks family (Swifty and Gooey exchange a glance she doesn’t fully parse) and then Gooey gets Theo.

After some weird flirting with Gooey (he makes an appointment to get “slammed big style” [sic] by her), Theo shows up to talk to Rina. She says that she’s been helping the Rocks family a ton in battle but she’s only been rebuffed. Is it worth it? Should she keep helping them? Theo says that he’s known the family for a long time and they’re good people who wouldn’t hurt her. Rina says that Theo is an honorable man and she trusts that even if he doesn’t side with her, he’ll do the honorable thing. Then she tells her what she knows, info that he is, of course, hearing for the first time. On an 18 Insight check, he knows he’s not being lied to and he knows he has a choice to make. He remembers Lazuli, all those years on their first meeting, telling him to think for himself and he amends his earlier statement. He might have spoken too soon about Amethar. He’s reckless, he wishes he could have worked for any of his sisters rather than him, and he clearly doesn’t have love for all of his family based on the way he’s treating her. He’s officially Team Rina (like he kinda was before but even moreso). She makes it official by casting the Dedication version of Ceremony on him and he feels more connected to her than ever before (also +1d4 to all Saving Throws for 24 hours).

War is Hell (to Recap)

The group gets into position with a bunch of stealth checks to get ready for their dawn attack. Despite pledging himself to Rina, Theo doesn’t want to work against Amethar and he wants to tell Cumulus. Rina agrees since she doesn’t fully trust her people and she thinks it’s good to bring another trustworthy person in on this.

Right before fighting breaks out, Theo gives the CliffsNotes version to Cumulus (ie: there is some weirdness in the line of succession and the family is plotting without us) and also messages Liam that Rina is potentially in danger, getting back the message that he’ll for sure help protect her. Ruby rolls Insight to see if she can tell Theo’s being weird but with a Nat 20 deception check from him, she’s sure that Theo is loyal to them above all else and would never betray them.

OK guys, here’s the deal. Almost everything else in this episode is truly just chess. Moving units across the board. Taking out troops strategically. Placing minis. Stuff like that. Not at all interesting to recap or read. So all you really need to know is, “The Rocks family and their numerous allies (cheese sailors manning catapults, monks, Candian fighters) get into position and the fight begins at dawn, with them doing pretty well once it starts.” Pretty much everyone gets to do at least one clutch thing and you can check out the episode if you want more detail than that.

The only really important thing to know is that Kerradin is there, Grissini is there, and Plumbeline is there. In fact, not only is she there, she comes down from the castle walls so she can ride in on her meep chariot and knock Theo prone.

Unfortunately for her, she hasn’t gotten the news about Peppermint Batman. Three attacks+flanking+sneak attack+favored enemy damage+bursting arrow+hail of arrows=58 damage to Plumbeline immediately.

As she stands over Theo, two crossbow bolts explode through her eyes and she drops down dead.

And that’s it for this episode! Join us next week for the actual finale of a Crown of Candy!

1 Million Years Dungeon

SWIFTY!

Man, Swifty really is the personification of Brennan’s craving for some sweet, sweet PvP action huh?

You homicidal little chaos gremlin, it is BAFFLING that you have the queen’s ear and I hate it.

Things I’m Concerned About

Emily had Rina use the word “fools” and I know that she grew up on the same Disney movies that we did where fools is an antagonist exclusive word. Hate the implications of that!

Do you remember what I said about Cara in her literal first appearance? I generally like her but I’m getting some light Lady Macbeth vibes. Well here we are. It was so weird to see her and Ruby getting along but I really loved the scene. So tense and so careful with every word. (Also, I *knew* that info was going to get to Rina as the conversation was happening and I was bracing for it but it was still like, damn).

We still haven’t gotten to, “Family is exposed, family is vulnerable.”

That look Gooey and Swifty shared? Don’t love that.

So, as I’ve been concerned about for a while now, we’re gearing up for some PvP. It still doesn’t have to happen but things are getting dicey and lines are being drawn. Theo has made his allegiances known and Cumulus from way back when said he stands with the magic of Candia, not the Rocks family--plus he just pledged his whole order to her. Ruby and Amethar obviously are on the same side if this happens (though you know no one wants to avoid PvP more than him) and I think Liam would be more inclined to stay with the family if it comes to it, though he also doesn’t seem like he’d be down for this.

Continuing on from my last point, if there’s a big PvP fight potentially on the horizon and the other side has a DRAGON and also ALL THE HEALS...mmm, I wouldn’t love that. Oh also, I didn’t mention it in the recap but Rina said she wasn’t gonna waste her spells on Ruby/Amethar anymore which is a SCARY THING for your HEALER to say before the FINAL BATTLE.

Edit: I forgot to mention (s/o to @fjordgofurther for the sideways reminder)! Because of the way it’s been framed (“we will have to do what fortune cannot”) and because of the poetry of it and, practically speaking, because they’re the two main casters, if it gets to PvP I can see it ending up being Rina and Ruby, head to head and...do not care for that image one bit lemme tell you.

Five More Things

I am VERY happy that Rina told off her crew about their casual war crimes because it would have dropped by opinion of her HUGELY if she was just chill about it.

I don’t want to downplay the amount of work that went into the battle stuff in this ep. There were a lot of cool large scale battle mechanics and home rules for fighting with troops and letting them use your abilities and stuff. But it’s very hard for me to recount that without sounding like a history textbook chapter on the Civil War or something and I’m not Ken Burns.

Place your bets. Blessed Ally Nat 20 on the wish-egg-seed or on icing Kerradin?

Very wild that they destroyed the afterlife RIGHT before this fight. Like, before they knew that if they died, they could at least still talk to their loved ones to some degree. But now that’s gone. Perma-death is suddenly extra-perma. I wonder if that was a conscious choice on Brennan’s part.

Did I ever get to say, “newly *mint*-ed” with regard to Liam’s Peppermint Batman status? I don’t remember and it would be a shame if I hadn’t.

I have more thoughts but this episode ends so clearly midway through the action that I feel it’s best to leave them for the actual finale.

One More Thing!

As I’ve mentioned on here before, I’m working on an audiodrama podcast which should be dropping later this year! Absolutely No Adventures, a podcast about avoiding dangerous quests, making weird friends, and baking. It’s also a podcast about baking.

The Twitter handle is @noadventurespod and we just got our art!

I’m very excited to start releasing stuff for it and I hope some of y’all check it out!

#a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #the royal report #i love my cover art so much!#the moment acoc is done that's my new pinned post #this recap was so short...I'm Concerned the next one will be a total monster

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jq37 · 4 years ago

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 11 In the Mountains of Sweetness

Requiem

The Rocks family is on the run but they’re also in mourning. As they sail up the Cola River, they stop to do repairs to the ship and pay their respects to Jet at a bright pink hill under a tree--her final resting place.

The remaining kids are in opposite worlds emotionally speaking--Liam is fully sobbing (which we find out later is largely him still being messed up over Preston) while Ruby is hollow and bitter. Amethar (after almost murdering a Jellybean farmer with poor timing who wanders onto the scene) eulogizes about how much Jet taught all of them (including that “to defeat monsters you must become one” which mmm don’t love where his head is at; also, Brennan says he seems to almost have this new sobriety which I think, mechanically, is him having taken a level of Battlemaster Fighter).

Cara, also a wreck as you’d expect, wonders if Jet died thinking she didn’t love her and wishes Jet would have just listened to her--something that Ruby takes as blaming Jet for her own death, causing her to stalk off. Cara is too in her grief to really react but Theo goes after her. As he does, Cumulous notices that, for a split second, Ruby’s shadow seemed to be out of sync with her actions. But only for a second.

When Theo catches up to her, Ruby gets really upset and says that she blames her parents, Lazuli, and herself for Jet’s death. Theo says that Jet wouldn’t have blamed her and that she died in battle, like she wanted. Even still, Ruby doesn’t know how she’s going to go on without her. Theo says that he takes comfort in Lazuli’s research and the thought that Jet might not be truly gone. She could be around and protecting them right now. “She was always protecting us,” Ruby says before mind-hopping into Yak and flying above the ship so she doesn’t have to deal with her emotions for the moment.

Once she’s gone, Theo breaks down for a second and then summons Sprinkle...to dismiss him. He tells Sprinkle he’s done a great job but he needs to go back where he came from and have Jet send a new familiar as a sign. Sprinkle tearfully leaves and, almost immediately (which is not how the spell traditionally works btw) a Black Licorice viper shows up which Theo names Princess and which bites him for no reason. Feels right.

Back at the grave-site, Cara starts to walk away but Amethar catches her and leads her back to the ship. They run into Theo and when she sees him with his new familiar, she goes off on him: Oh Jet is watching over us? Who was watching over her? And don’t think I don’t know about your crush on Lazuli. I have one daughter left. You think you can do a better job at protecting her? That kind of thing. She goes to board the ship but Amethar stays behind saying he’ll be with her in a minute, something that made *me* feel like I was about to get chewed out by Amethar’s wife.

Liam remembers that Cal--the traitor--saved Jack and Brie and decides to (as he is wont to do) ask about it in the clumsiest way possible. Jack says that they didn’t meet up with Cal on purpose or anything--they just happened to stumble across him and, now that he thinks about it, it was weirdly easy the way Cal got them through enemy lines and stuff. He seems pretty on the level so Liam does his Ranger thing to check for danger while they’re docked.

Back with Theo and Amethar, Theo says he’s fine so Amethar catches up with Cara and says that she can’t turn on Theo like that. They don’t have a lot of allies left. On a dirty 20 Persuasion check, we are spared the marital spat of a lifetime and instead she just presses herself against him and he brings her into a hug.

Sweet Life on Deck*

*I knew I’d get to use it eventually!

The next day, as they set sail, Cara apologizes to Theo for taking her grief out on him and he’s very gracious about it--also assuring her that he doesn’t hate her for winning Lazuli’s affections as she suggested nor does he have a crush on her--he just strongly believes in her ideals.

Cumulous finds Ruby to have a chat with her about his favorite topic (well second fave after magical items)--death. Ruby says that, with Jet dead, all she cares about is revenge and that she’s dead inside. Cumulous, who clearly doesn’t have Inspiring Speech on his character sheet (or, if he does, learned from Kristen), rambles about death for a bit before saying that though they’ll all die eventually, she doesn’t have to die yet and gives Ruby his necklace from Lazuli. She pockets it and walks away.

Liam, with his Ranger senses, knows they’re being followed but also knows that they have the jump on them so they shouldn’t have a problem staying ahead. Jack and Amethar have a heart to heart wherein Jack blames himself for spilling the beans about Ghee and Amethar says it’s not his fault. They reaffirm that they’re in it together for the long haul.

In the night, Liam has an intense dream involving familiar snarling, heat, smoke, chocolate, and cinnamon. Ruby wakes up in the middle of the night with Lazuli’s necklace glowing a little bit. The glow fades and then she notices, like Cumulous did, that her shadow is a little off--but it quickly corrects itself. All messed up, she goes onto the deck and finds that she can suddenly see perfectly in the dark. And, on a Nat 20 Perception check, she sees that the eye of the Lazuli necklace is a little creased, like it has smile lines. It glows brightly and casts her shadow on the wall--except it’s not the shadow she should have. It looks like her except the hair--the hair is in a long braid. Ruby presses her forehead against the forehead of the shadow and finds that it’s warm. And, as she does so, she fully breaks down for the first time since Jet’s death and the shadow does so alongside her. (Mechanically speaking, Ruby took a level of Shadow Sorcerer).

In the morning they dock, having gotten as far up the river as the ship can take them. It’s a long trip to the mountains and Muffinfield--Cal’s territory--is in their path. They have the option to go through the town fully, take the more off the beaten path route, or a little of both but either way it’s gonna take at least a full week (and up to three if they fully avoid the town). They decide to take the hybrid route which takes them into Muffinfield to begin with. It’s a rich province and very Bulbian. Tons of Imperial guards, tons of churches, and, in fact, they see a church putting on one of those puppet show/morality plays. Amethar makes the, mmm, unwise decision to check it out and sees that it’s a play about the Rocks family, depicting him as a horny lout, Cara as an airheaded bimbo, and the twins as feral bastards. Ruby sets the puppets on fire and Amethar hustles her away before she can do something more rash.

After that, they get to the woods--staying for a night with a lady so old and out of touch that she doesn’t even know that Amethar’s dad isn’t king anymore. Theo thanks Liam for saving Jet’s body and they bond over how much rage they have over, like, everything that's happened.

The Gang Gets Scooped

When they get back on the road (with some not so hot stealth checks), they see a little gingerbread guy in a Peter Pan cap who’s trying to pull his friend out from under a rock. Theo, knight to his core, rushes to help but Liam, who’s on the warpath, decides to shoot him. An insane course of action but he’s not wrong because a net captures both Theo and the gingerbread man and this turns out to be an ambush. The “friend” was a doll and the Gingerbread man (Swifty is his name) pulls a lollipop shiv on Theo because of course. When Theo says he’s not pro-Bulb, Swifty calls for Gooey--the chief marauder who is this buff warrior woman with half her face melted (like melted chocolate) like she was badly burned. She and this chocolate viking dude (Jon Bon) discuss whether they should take the group to the queen, which they decide to do, shackling everyone (though Liam and Ruby successfully conceal their thieves' tools in their hands for a later escape). At the mention of the queen, the assembled marauders start chanting “Long live the queen”--harkening back to the mountain gratifi from two episodes ago. They take them to their secret hideout in the mountains while Swifty runs ahead to let them know they’re coming.

All their captors are Candian but they’re all deformed in some way and/or have old Sucrosi tattoos and Sweetening Path stuff, ears of Ceresians/Vegetanians on necklaces (EARS BRENNAN?), and defiled Bulbian relics. They’re from all over but they seem like they’ve been living this life for years.

The hideout is kinda built into the cliff side and it has this big rock outside like the standing stones the SPF has (menhir is the technical term). It’s also covered in a layer of snow and very cold. Magical light is glowing as they pass through the entrance. Cumulous can feel very powerful magic at work. There’s a ton of ceremony and fanfare and chanting in advance of the queen’s arrival--these people seem to really love their queen, and so do we because out comes Queen Saccharina Frostwhip aka, Emily’s new character (aka Rina because I’m not typing that every time)!

She is this extremely cool (in both senses of the word) ice-cream sorcerer with a magic staff (Winterscoop) and two swords and is majorly serving sweet but frosty-cool energy. Liam and Ruby spring everyone from their chains and Rina aggressively sweetly says that she would have freed them soon enough. She calls herself the legal ruler of Candia and when Cara questions that she says that she has another last name: Ghee. Amethar, is like, “Oh shit,” but she says that she’s not here to force a relationship on him, she just thinks they can all be useful to each other, especially since she’s the legal heir as the child of his legal marriage and someone not in open rebellion with the Concord. Theo is like, “That all checks out.” He asks Amethar if this is actually his kid and he sees in Rina Ghee’s eyes and his own swagger. Yeah, that’s his kid. In turn, she recognizes Cumulous as a monk of the Order of the Spinning Star. She, like half the party it feels--is a huge Lazuli stan, can feel her magic on him, and believes in her mission. She says she’s seen Lazuli in her dreams when she was little and Cumulous in her sees someone who can, in a lot of ways, take up Lazuli’s mantle and start rebuilding Candian magic rather than just doing triage like the monks have been. He bows to her. Ruby is not having any of this though and says that Rina isn’t her sister or her queen.

Theo asks Princess if they should trust her--she’s saying all the right things but he’s wary--and gets a bite which tells him nothing.

Ice Feast

Rina, upon being told special guests were coming, had a feast prepared which is described as Robin Hood-y. Amethar is like, “This is cool but the Bulbian church is literally trying to kill us so maybe we focus on that?” Rina says that that works for her. All Amethar has to do is recognize her as his daughter and heir and everything will be square--if the church wants to go after them at that point, they’ll have to break their own rules. Ruby, who’s still being obstinate says that it won’t work because she’s clearly a heretic with an allegiance to the Sweetening Path but Rina says and Jack confirms that as long as you kiss the ring in public, no one really cares what you do on your home turf.

Ruby accuses her of not knowing what she’s talking about because she’s been hidden away her whole life and Rina shoots back (still smiling) that she’s actually been traveling the world, building her followers from scratch which she had to do because she came from nothing. Amethar (who’s in the, I would have to imagine, pretty novel position of watching his daughters fight) breaks it up. Cara--who fully hates that not only is this happening, it’s also their best shot--takes Ruby with her to have their meal somewhere else and Ruby, who has found someone to hate more than her mom, willingly goes.

Rina has a sidebar with Amethar where she apologizes for popping up randomly and upsetting his entire family. She always wanted to meet them and she’s sorry that these are the circumstances. Amethar says that it’s not her fault--they’ve just been through a hell of a lot lately and they’re kind of emotionally spent but she’s actually a huge asset to them politically right now and he’s sure that once things are calm, things will be different on the relationship front.

Ruby can’t believe Cara is taking all of this lying down and Cara (who is full John Mulaney, “This might as well happen,”) says she can’t remember the last time she had a handle on her life which is news to Ruby who thought she *was* the handle. Cara hits her with the unfortunate truth that no one--least of all kings and queens--knows what they’re doing or can really control it. All she can control is what she’s doing next which is having a bath. Ruby decides to, instead, cast Invisibility and look around for anything suspicious.

After seeing a bunch of stolen loot, weapons, and Candian artifacts it seems like Rina’s trying to preserve, she eventually finds Rina in her quarters. On a 25 Perception to Ruby’s 24 Stealth, Rina clocks her and whispers, “I’m not here to take your family, little sister. I look forward to the day that we are friends.” Ruby, channeling Adaine in a big way, flips invisible double middle fingers.

Cumulous is in another room, just fanboy happy-crying over all of Rina’s magic stuff in some of the funniest scenes Zac has ever done which is saying a lot. I cannot overstate how funny Zac crying over an imaginary ring pop is.

Theo also finds Rina and asks about her visions of Lazuli. She says it happened when she was very young and her powers were just manifesting. She was in a place where magic wasn’t supported and the connection was all but beaten out of her. But she can also sense Lazuli’s presence in Theo. Ruby, still invisible, pipes up that she sees Lazuli too so she’s not special and Rina shoots back that she can also see Ruby while invisible, which is pretty special. This dissolves into a little sibling spat which Rina says she enjoys because she’s never had a sister to fight with before. The comment sets off Ruby again who says she already had a sister and she’s dead and she can’t replace her. She runs off.

Theo and Rina speak a little more and she reveals that she doesn’t really care about the throne. She just cares about bringing back magic and destroying the church (which means she’ll fit right in with the rest of the fam--not really wanting the throne and plotting against the church. The family business).

After the feast, Gooey brings out the war maps (moving the Jawbreaker flag away from Castle Manylicks and deeper into the mountain and putting an ice cream cone flag deep into the mountains) and a bunch of magic tomes which Rina starts reading. Ruby notices that a lot of the tomes are written in Lazuli’s hand, she had a way to tap into the SPF’s runes, and that she wrote some kind of warning about the SPF--Lazuli did not trust or revere the SPF. Liam sees a book with the same ice cream symbol as the flag on the map and it’s a book of lost beast lore--including an ancient spirit described on pages scented like cinnamon and seemingly bound in some way (and also amongst a lot of SPF talk): Dracoria Azucar (or, Sugar Dragon).

Anyway, Rina says that the SPF has done a lot to suppress Lazuli’s research (she’s not sure if she thinks it’s too dangerous or if she’s hoarding it or what) including taking all of her coolest relics and findings and hiding them in a frozen temple--the Ice Cream Temple. She wants to loot that temple. (Note: She also mentions that Kerradin visited her orphanage when she was little which...Bad). She’s sent raid parties who haven’t come back but they weren’t super powerful--she has a lot of angry, rescued orphans in her service. The gang more or less agrees to her plan--even Ruby reluctantly, but Ruby hears the SPF on the wind, “Things that are wrong may yet be made right. There is more than one true magician in Candia, Princess and I await your coming and will be delighted for your wish to come true.”

A Change of Plans

In the morning, they decide Cara will stay with Jack and the marauders while they (and some of Jack’s men) go on their mission. When Jack offhandedly says that Ghee was lovely, Rina says they had very different experiences with her. Ominous!

Theo asks what’s going on with the Jawbreaker situation and she says that they’re in kind of a pissing contest--he won’t recognize her claim to the throne. Gooey pulls Rina aside and informs her (for the first time it seems) that Jawbreaker has left the Castle because people in the area were being tortured by Ceresian soldiers (wasn’t specified but I’m guessing Imperials) to draw him out and now he’s pinned down in the mountains. Rina (along w/ Gooey and Swifty) consider that if they help Jawbreaker, he’ll be more likely to acknowledge her claim to the throne. But, if they don’t and they let him die, Liam will be heir and he’s already on Team Rina. In the end, she decides to tell the group and they are keen on rescuing Jawbreaker--even though Liam is concerned because he knows his dad will never give up the throne.

Everyone seems pretty gung ho about this except for Ruby who is like, “Hello we’re super outnumbered.” Cara has a solution to that however. She’s been up all night reading Lazuli’s books and she thinks she can bamf them past enemy lines if they can get to the nearby Spinning Star monastery. She can get them back too but because there’s not a teleportation circle where they’re going, she has to basically do the magical equivalent of holding her breath or remembering a really long series of numbers while they get in and get out. They won’t have much time.

They go to the monastery (where Rina’s anti-monarchical sentiments wins her another new fan in another monk named Snicker-Snack because sure) and Cumulous kills a chicken for that sweet temp HP. Cara says, “Lazuli, please help me get this right,” before performing her magic and sending them all to a dark, locked, musty building. They can hear Ceresian soldiers shouting outside--and that’s where we end our episode!

Note: You can find the art for the new characters this episode on the D20 tumblr here! Once again, Samir is coming for some of y’all specifically with some of these designs.

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m gonna separate my thoughts on Rina across these two sections because my thoughts are hard in separate directions. I *love* Rina but I have to be honest with myself and say that if she was an NPC, I fully wouldn’t trust her. She comes in at the exact right time saying all the right things and coming with a major plot solution. She says she doesn’t care about the throne and she only wants to destroy the church (something that would make sense considering the backstory hints the dropped) and we haven’t had PvP before but like...if there was a season to do it...listen, I want her to just be this cool orphan who sincerely wants justice and a relationship with her dad and sister if that’s on the table but I’m just keeping my eye on her. (Also, when Gooey pulled her aside to have that troop movement convo I feared it was going to go in a much more suspicious direction.)

There’s a part that I kinda glossed over where Brennan says Manta Ray Jack looked at Rina “bashfully” and Rina took it as, “He’s gonna ask me out,” and rebuffed his advances. I feel like that’s not what that was about. That doesn’t mean it’s anything actively bad--maybe him remembering her mom?--but idk, I don’t like feeling like I’m missing something.

Oh, and speaking of her mom? Rina saying he had a different experience of her mom than she did combined with Rina saying her connection to Lazuli was “all but beaten out of her” plus the out of game knowledge that something related to child neglect happens in a few eps that’s so bad that Brennan hurt himself...It paints a Bad picture.

Once again, I am Concerned about everything going on with the SPF. What did she mean there’s more than one magician? Was she referring to Ruby? Does she want Ruby to PvP Rina? She better not.

Little concerned about Annabelle’s side mission to find Ghee. I was before but now I am even more.

Five A Few More Things

I want to believe that Jet is both partially inhabiting Princess and doing the Shadow Sorc thing with Ruby. The Pontifex works hard but Jet Rocks works harder.

OK, let’s talk about what I call The Inherent Tragedy of Saccharina Frostwhip (*such* a good name, btw). If Ruby and Jet had met Rina *together* (either during peace times or having rolled a high enough Insight check to clock her as an ally during the present events) they would have loved her completely immediately. She’s got Cool Big Sister written all over her: cool design, martial prowess and magic, anti-monarchy and anti-Bulbian Church BUT willing to take the throne in their stead. They would have LOVED her. BUT, Rina wasn’t an NPC. She was Emily’s backup character. Which means that, because of the way our world bisects the world of Candia, there is never a world where Jet is alive while Rina comes into play. That’s tragic, man. That’s the worst. And when I say that’s the worst, I mean the best. This makes for such delicious story. You guys know I’m a full sucker for sister stuff. Which we were already getting but this is *complicated* sister stuff which we all know is better. Like, if this is where we’re starting emotionally, do you know good it’s gonna hit if Ruby eventually comes around on her? Siobhan and Emily are catering to me specifically this season.

Also, that reveal? Within like five minutes, my theory that “the Queen” in question was Amethar’s first kid was confirmed, my circa episode 3 prediction that a twin would die and come back as Amethar’s first kid was confirmed, AND my prediction from last episode that the SPF was telling a technical truth about Ruby finding her sister was confirmed. (Literal) sweet vindication! Can I do lotto numbers? No. But plot points for a Candy/GoT mashup? I’m your gal.

Lol at someone mentioning Ghee as Amethar’s wife with Cara standing right there and Amethar fully WWE bodyslaming that dude with tag-teams for the entire family.

People are saying it seems like Rina is a Storm Sorcerer which would be cool seeing as Amethar is a Storm Herald Barbarian. Family parallels even without really knowing each other.

Cara--who better survive this or I will Riot--needs like a 6 month spa trip after this is over. What she is dealing with right now is untenable and she is handling it much better than I would be honestly. (But also her, “lol, my life is in shambles,” to Liam’s inappropriate question that didn’t even really register to her at that point was another comedy highlight of the ep. Icon, even in mourning.)

Lazuli might as well be a PC for how important she is to this campaign.

Ooooh, Sugar Dragon for Liam? Brennan has outdone himself. (Unless Liam is gonna have to fight the Sugar Dragon which I am also super down for. As I was just discussing, there are never enough dragons in D&D for a game that’s half named after them).

Shout out to this post for making me short circuit for a full second. Ow.

It’s a little funny that Brennan laid the groundwork for Emily’s background character in the middle of the episode he knew was gonna end with him trying to kill them. Like, OK, your future is secure, now time to destroy your present!

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #the royal report #is Jon Bon CoC hodor?#idk enough about GoT to confirm or reject that but that my my immediate thought for some reason

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jq37 · 5 years ago

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 2

Ambush on the Sucrosi Road

And we’re back for our first battle episode! Are you feeling trepid my guys, cause I sure am.

You’re Dead and Here’s Your Mini

You’ll remember that, at the end of the episode, the Candia Caravan had stopped in the road because of a fallen tree--the universal fantasy fiction indication for an impending ambush--and Ruby was unceremoniously dropped to zero HP. But don’t worry! Brennan is here with all the missing ceremony at the top of this episode! And by ceremony, I mean we get the most graphic, visceral, bloody description of bodily harm we’ve ever gotten in an episode of D20 as the arrow pierces her neck and she goes unconscious. In her unconscious state, she’s on a trapeze, swinging from one bar to another that seems to be either getting closer or farther away. A voice in the inky black that surrounds her tells her to bring it towards her. We fade out from the vision and that brings us into the combat proper.

So that’s the very chill place this episodes starts.

With Ruby down, everyone else springs into action. Liam does his ranger thing and reveals a hidden enemy--which is like finding a roach in your house: You *know* there’s no such thing as a single roach. Jet tries to snatch Ruby into the carriage but when she loses her grip, she opts to instead threaten Lapin--Heal my sister or I’ll reveal you’re working for the Sugarplum Fairy--and hop on top of the stopped carriage to use herself to shield her sister from any further damage. She also activates the Locket of the Sweetest Heart--a split friendship locket the two of them have which gives advantage on saving throws if the other person is within 5 feet--so she’ll have help on her next death save which happens right away. She gets a success with two 13s, which gives her 1 save, 1 fail (I assume from getting hit by a second arrow--ranged attacks while down count as a fail and melee attacks count as two. Yikes!).

In her mind, Ruby uses Mage Hand to bring the trapeze bar closer to her and, as she does so, she sees a pair of smiling purple eyes and hears a voice say, “You are gifted in the ways of the arcane. It seems that my brother has made quite a family for himself.” Ruby gasps. “Are you my aunt?” The voice tells her to take good care of her bow. She’ll need it.

On Amethar’s turn, he clocks a bunch more hidden archers and hears that they’re speaking Carnish (the meat language) but (and Jet especially notices this because she speaks Carnish) they’re speaking it brokenly and with weird (vaguely French-y) accents. And the arrow that hit Ruby is baconsteel, but the archers look weird. Like, it’s less that they’re made of meat and more like they’re *wearing* meat, and it smells like it’s rotting (which, hey Brennan? Gross). Something’s up.

Amethar, charges out and goes into a rage--pouring cola onto himself and letting the pop rocks of his body explode out (extremely cool flavoring for that), doing 2 points of damage to anyone in the immediate vicinity. Jet, still over Ruby’s unconscious body, narrates this all to her, because Emily Axford never lets a moment for an emotional gut punch go to waste.

Amethar gets a Nat 20 with his first attack and hits the nearest enemy hard enough to cut through the meat. Underneath, he smells stinking cheese.

But then, it’s the enemies’ turn and Amethar is absolutely beset. A couple of enemies go after the others’ but five enemies go for him and all hit, bringing him down to less than a third of his HP in one round of combat (down to 10). And they’re not messing around. They are really and truly trying to murder him specifically.

Thank the Sugarplum Fairy or the Bulb if you prefer that Lapin’s turn is next. He scrambles to the top of the carriage and casts Cure Wounds on Ruby which brings her back to full because first level rogues are so so weak you guys. Lapin goes through the Bulbian motions but Jet, who is closeby, can smell the sugary magic energy from his true patron. She doesn’t much care though since it means Ruby’s back and she promises her silence. Lapin also tosses Amethar a d6 of healing with his bonus action.

Theobold hits a nat 20 to do a good bit of damage then action surges and casts Compelled Duel with his sword--Battlepop the Broadscicle--to force the Captain of the attackers (who rolls a Nat 1 save) to 1v1 him to take some heat off of the king.

Ruby and Jet are forced to confront the possibility that Lapin and Theobold might be...cool? Really, all the old dudes this fight are kinda badass--Calroy also hits a nat20 and is kicking ass all fight (also, his pants are on point--I think this is only the second time in d20 pants have ended up being *A Thing* (John Feathers) but that still feels like a lot for *pants*).

The fight continues!

Jet fights alongside her super proud dad and does a bunch of damage but doesn’t quite get a killing blow which she blames on Theobold’s refusal to teach her one last episode. The brigands continue to strategically try and take out Amethar and Lapin judiciously uses his precious few heals to let him drop and then bring him back instead of blowing all his heals at once--stressful but effective. Also, Sir Theo comes in clutch and uses his shield--Swirldwarden--to, as a reaction, take one of the attacks that would have F’d him up.

Ruby shoots the leader of the cheese brigands--at this point everyone knows that these are cheese people disguised as meat people--and, spurred on by some new, hazy awareness from her near death experience, uses her once per day grasping arrow (an Arcane Archer ability) to hold the captain in place and make him take damage if he moves. Amethar goes back into a rage after having gone down, teaching us that when he does that, it hits enemies and allies alike. On the baddies’ turn, the captain tries to move and gets obliterated by Ruby’s arrow. This is super clutch, not just because he was going after Amethar, but he also gave +1d4 to all attacks to all of his guys of which there are/were many.

Amethar goes down again and, on his turn, Lapin heals him, and then wrecks some of the brigands with a very un-Bulbian blast of candy energy, though he continues to insist that it’s all above board. On her turn, Jet gives her half of the locket to her dad in case he drops again (not how it really works since it requires attunement but Brennan allows it this time since it’s her dad). One of the attackers tries to hit Jet but between her once-per-day shield with Flickorice and Theo imposing disadvantage, she’s unscathed.

Our Daily Bread

You’ll remember from last episode that the caravan was on their way to meet an Imperial escort. Well, they finally show up to help, led by a young Ceresian Centurion Commander (they confirm later it’s the guy they were supposed to have been meeting--Commander Constano Grissini--wonder if him showing up was like an “after x rounds of combat” story event or if it was based on something else). Ruby (very conspicuously) casts Fog Cloud around her dad to try and make it harder for anyone to hit and drop him again. Brennan makes her roll an Insight check and on a 12, tells her nothing which is the most maddening thing a DM can do to you.

With the extra help, they’re able to end the fight pretty quickly after that without any casualties (tiny violins for Brennan because, lbr, the house always eventually wins--it’s only a matter of time before he gets one of them). Theobold wanted to keep one enemy alive for questioning but the Tartguard didn’t quite get the memo and skewered the last guy. Lapin is very suspicious of Grissini but his 23 Insight check tells him this is a straight up guy who would have been ruined if anyone here had died. However, he also notices that Grissini won’t look Ruby in the eye. Calroy quietly comes up to Ruby and tells her that, while she did a good job this fight, things are about to get very complicated and she should be a loooot more careful with any future magic she does. She seems confused by her own abilities and mentions she saw her aunt Lazuli while she was passed out but Calroy shushes her before she says anything else incriminating. It seems we didn’t get the full picture of how frowned upon non-Bulbian magic is outside out Candia.

Lapin rolls to cover for Ruby with Grissini and says that her magic is Bulbian and Brennan rolls in the Box of Doom to see if he buys it. 10 or higher and he knows something’s up. We don’t get the result (though it *looked* like a 1) but he either buys it or plays along.

Theobald investigates the area (with help from his living sprinkle/dog Sprinkle who I haven’t mentioned before but gives him the help action in battle) but doesn’t find any info they didn't already have. However, he does notice that there aren’t any steeds around, which he interprets to mean they didn’t get there through outlaw means (ie: ride in on your horse, steal a bunch, ride out).

Calroy pulls aside Lapin and Theobald and says that even though they may have been able to convince Grissini, all of his men also saw Ruby doing forbidden magic and if word gets out it’ll be a problem. They need to make a plan and they need to be very careful about how they tell Amethar because if he finds out they “know how he’ll solve the problem.”

Ominous!

Things I’m Concerned About

So something I talked about while this episode was happening (and something that Brennan talked about during the talkback afterwards but in slightly different terms) is that the enemy NPC Battle effectiveness has, like, changed from “Saturday Morning Cartoon Minion” to “Art of War Scholar”. No one came into this like, “Let’s have an epic fight!” It was like, “We need to murder one specific guy as quickly as possible.” This isn’t a world where you can spend several rounds trying to jump on tables for cool points. This is a world where you need to be paying full attention even when it’s not your turn and everyone figured that out pretty quick. This is the most tense I’ve ever been during a d20 battle episode and this was only the first one! Amethar--the *Barbarian*--dropped THREE times. He ran out of rages which I didn’t even know was a thing! The fact that everyone made it out of the battle alive was really a miracle! Like, everyone was strategic and played well but if Ruby hadn’t won that Grasping Arrow roll off (Siobhan: I love gambling!), if Lapin hadn’t been perfectly placed in the initiative to feed Amethar heals right after he dropped, if just a couple of things had gone differently, they could have been so screwed.

Oh, and you know what else? Rezzes don’t exist in this world! Like, I think we all kinda figured but we got confirmation this week on Adventuring Party. It makes total sense. It is absolutely the correct choice for the setting. But, God, does it ratchet up every single round of combat. Every single decision. Every one of Lapin’s limited heals. Like, RIP Zac. What a season to play the party healer. Ally and Lou got off easy. (Note: The Spare the Dying cantrip does exist though at least, which isn’t a powerhouse spell but it’s not nothing).

I’m concerned about Jet’s flirting! First Thad now this hot Italian breadstick soldier guy? Like, usually I’d be like do you girl but, like, romantic entanglements are a quick way to get in a lot of trouble, up to and including death in a world like this! This is the “actions have consequences” season!

On the exact opposite end of the spectrum, Liam doesn’t seem to have any interest in romantic entanglements which doesn’t always go over well if you’re a royal. He’s not directly in line for anything important it seems since he had so many older brothers, so maybe he can skate by. But last episode, Caramelinda did seem to be pushing him a little bit in that direction--saying he could get out of exile earlier if he got hitched--and I feel like there’s a good chance this becomes a bigger issue for him.

If we have a false flag attack AND and an attempted assassination in episode TWO, what are we escalating to, huh? Where are we going that that’s where we’re STARTING?

I could have mentioned this last episode but I’m glad I waited until this episode because it underlines the point even better. I’m *very* concerned about the religious politics of Calorum. In the first episode we got kind of a sense that things were different in Candia versus the rest of the world but this ep it was less of a “sense” and more of a concrete fear that someone was about to start gossiping about having seen Goody Ruby with the devil. And we knew from last episode that Lapin is secretly in league with the Sugarplum Fairy but Brennan used the word heretic in the talkback which feels a *lot* more dire but...yeah, is accurate. Plus, one of the girls’ aunt is St. Citrina, clearly a respected figure in the Bulbian faith, so there’s obviously Lore to unlock there. Look, a lot of going on and none of it feels very chill. Lapin better keep nailing all of his deception checks.

And, to drill down a little deeper, I’m very concerned that Ruby--who has presumably been told that magic is banned in the rest of the world, decided to illegally cast a spell in front of a ton of people--including Imperials--while loudly shouting “ABRACADABRA!” Like, if her impulse control doesn’t improve, we are gonna have some *issues*.

You know what I’m concerned about? My continuing relationship with several different food groups if I have to keep hearing graphic descriptions of them fighting each other. I mean, BONES in the CHEESE? *Bones* in the *Cheese*? My forgetting to preheat the oven is the *only* reason I wasn’t eating pizza when I heard that line. And the worst part is, with another DM I’d be like, “They probably didn’t think of the implications.” But this is Brennan so I KNOW he thought of the implications and he was like, “I’M DOING IT ANYWAY.”

Also, while we’re on the implications, I was also concerned--as Theo/Murph was--about Lord Swirly’s (the ice cream Candian) loyalty considering he is dairy (like the cheese brigands) even though he is Candian. Like, there’s a *lot* of overlap in different food types and that feels like it could easily get messy.

If this fight is an indication, these fights aren’t gonna be balanced to be fair. They’re balanced to be tactically sound--as in, “What would their enemies do to them at this moment?” And, man, I am really dreading the inevitable moment they get hit when they’re down for the first time. Having to start a fight already down to one third of your HP and having already burned through most of your spell slots is so demoralizing but you know it’s gotta happen!

I share Zac’s concerns about their Imperial allies. When he said, “This is Games of Thrones. It doesn’t mean anything,” I felt that.

I was reminded of a scene in the trailer which shows what looks to be the PCs in a freezer and now I’m just full of questions like is a freezer a part of a fridge or its own thing? Is it Calorum or is that like the upper part of the map that cuts off? Is it a death-y no man’s land? What’s going on?

So the toughest prof I've ever had was my Constitutional Law professor my 1L year of Law School. She's probably the smartest person I've ever met and so supportive but also super scary. What you need to know about law school grades to understand this story is that they're fake so a B- is like a hard C, a C is like a D, and a D means your professor wants you to die. A professor has to fill out paperwork and justify giving you a D at my school. So we heard a rumor that this professor gave one of her students a D and we were like, "Oh man, even she wouldn't...would she?" So, one day--I think at some kind of event, we're all chilling and we're like, "Professor! Did you *really* give a student a D last year." And she turns to us, glint in her eye, and says, "Who said I only gave out one?" Chills. Absolute chills. Anyway, that is all to say, I'm very much feeling shades of that conversation right now. "Brennan, did you really kill a PC this season?" *Anime Glasses Flash* "Who said I only killed one?"

Lingering Questions

Theobald is an Eldritch Knight, not a Paladin. So he has some magic, but it wouldn’t be Bulbian (unless Brennan flavored it that way). Is he also doing arcane magic on the down low or is there some other mechanism for that? (Sidenote: Glad the cast made the gummi berry juice joke when Murph cast Jump on Amethar so I didn’t have to.) If he is, gotta say, hiding it *way* better than the others.

Curious about exactly what Liam’s favored enemy is. Cause he was getting the bonus for that during this fight but was it because they were bandits or cheese people or archers or what?

Another quick holdover from last episode: Sir Theo rolled a deception check last ep against Ruby's insight upon seeing the princesses training with their new weapons (Theo won with a 19 to her 17) and Brennan gave us no information so it’s like, what was their deal? Past relationship? Past magical relationship (see first point)? Just concerned Ruby is gonna do something stupid with a magic bow in the world where magic is banned?

Five Six More Things

OK, let’s get the most important thing out of the way...my Candysona would be a Mint Chocolate divine soul sorcerer librarian/researcher. I’m sure ALL of you were wondering.

I really wanna give it up for the crew this episode! The battle set was amazing and the music was so good! Especially Ruby’s quirky circus-y theme. Loved that! Oh and the overlay of all the magical items was very helpful. (Side note: It’s all on the wiki if you wanna see it--I’d link it but tumblr hates when I do that. EDIT: @cloudmancy actually wrote them all up here too so here’s the link).

There was no way Brennan could have known that Ruby was going to drop immediately when he initially planned the session but using that as kind of a vision quest moment to unlock her magic which she starts fully using after that point for the first time was a very clutch story choice for them.

Murph and Emily sitting next to each other this season is a *gift*.

I cannot imagine having the gall to play a level 1 magic rogue in a world where magic is illegal, people who can hit for more than my hit point total 100% want me dead, and rezzes don’t exist. What a choice.

If one twin dies...and they have to decide...what to do with the other half of that locket...Brennan…

Housekeeping

Brennan is doing an Answer Time here on tumblr! Get your questions in before the 25th!

Not strictly D20 related but Brennan is also DMing a D&D game with some actual play vets and their kids! Check it out here!

I can’t believe I failed my word count limit two episodes in on a battle episode that I only had 3 pages of notes for. Bold of me to assume I could tamp down on me. But, plus side, Brennan did say I was valid on stream last week, so I’m gonna say these two things cancel each other out and I am in the clear.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #the royal report

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