#eve doesnt normally have a body

[asthecrowrambles]

drawings ive done lately that i like! the twins plus their older sister eve (if she had a body) ;)

[m4y4wasnthere]

can you please write dating johnny cade hc? ( w some suggestive if that's okay )

sure!

disclaimer:

i mainly focus on sodapop and dallas so im sorry if this isnt very good or its not very much like johnny 😅😅

FxM

warnings: mention of abuse, suggestive (at end)

since you’ve started dating, hes stayed with you more often. he barely sees his own family, they could care less where he was either way.

he was shy meeting you, wasn’t super used to talking to girls. he realized you were an alr girl, he’d refer to you as tuff if people asked about you.

He isn’t used to physical intimacy, the most he ever used to do was hold hands or hug someone very lightly, you asked him about his opinions on it early in the relationship and hes open to anything, as long as he knows whats going to happen

“Johnny?” You guys were sitting on the porch or the Curtis house, watching the sunset together. Ponyboy was busy taking a shower and left you two alone.

“Yea?” He looked at you, his black eyes being lit by the faint yellows of the sunset. “What do you think about like… i dont know- physical stuff.” You lightly chuckled at your horrible word choice, Pony would’ve told you something about paying more attention in school. “I don’t mind it, I think its cute” you both were silent for a few moments, taking the sight of the sky in.

“Are you asking because you want to try more- uh- stuff?” He fidgeted nervously with his fingers. “Nothing you aren’t comfortable with- I’m sorry if that seemed a bit adrupt” You said quickly.

“No its completely alright, I just- I..” his voice lowered slightly in volume, “I don’t know how to do a whole ‘lot. Is that okay with you?” He avoided eye contact and started picking at the collar of his jean jacket.

“Of course Johnny. I can help you, if you’re okay with that and ev-“ “Yeah. That’d um, that’d be tuff.”

He looked into your eyes and slightly smiled. You laid your hand on his and interlocked your fingers. You both looked back at the sunset, and you laid your head on his shoulder.

hes an awkward person, before he got comfy and knew how to initate intimate things, it could get a bit awkward, but you always reassured him it was okay

If he got beat up, he’d run straight to your door, he hated crying infront of you and wouldnt look you in the eye if he was. You often patched him up, and always told him about your day to distract him.

for as hurt as he is, he doesnt back down from protecting you. Yea, his voice might be stuttering while he does it, but he doesn’t want to lose the one person who loves him whole (romantically + platonically)

His favorite types of intimacy has to be giving/receiving facial kisses. He likes getting kissed normally, but getting his face kissed makes him feel loved, appreciated. He likes to hope that you have the same thoughts about it too.

Another one he likes is cuddling. He loves the feeling of holding someone close, having someone feel so safe and comfortable with him, that they would trust him to wrap his arms around them and just protect them.

suggestive ones:

he loves trailing his fingertips along your body, trailing kisses everywhere he looks. he wants you to know that you’re loved and safe with him

he was hesitant/insecure at first since he had marks on his body from previous beatings/jumpings, but you reassured him how much you love him.

his favorite position is missionary so he can see if you feel good or not, loves looking into your eyes.

his second favorite is cowgirl, he just loves looking at you, making sure you’re okay throughout every second of it

he loves praising you, snd loves to get praised.

“you’re doing so great”

“you’re so beautiful like that”

“i love it when you _”

“good girl, keep doing that baby”

[skelevision]

heyyy 🎨 :-) i need to draw

polled my friends in the server too but i also wanna poll here.....

doodles for reference (some of these are really old) and some info on each under the cut........... (sorry if theyre underdeveloped or sound like a 16 yr old made them i have like 100-200 ocs and many of them Are from when i was a teen. not that my ocs are better now though LMAO)

auri: cloned pilot who relies heavily on the support system in his mech for emotional and mental stability (doesnt work). short description but i love this guy i could rant about him for hours (i wont, embarrassing)

calin: stole his mech (starstrider) and deserted in his teens. does whatever now trying to get by. he's uncomfortable outside of starstrider most of the time but when he's not stressed he doesn't mind being outside of it, so long as his harmonizer can still connect. he likes seeing new things. i gave him a big comfy coat thats as hot or cool as he needs it to be because thats my dream. he's in the magic world i have actually

EVE: lab grown pilot who is usually connected to giant genetically identical meat mech ADAM. therin isnt here but hes a biomechanic and hes trying to befriend EVE. i did make them A While Before i watched evangelion if anyones wondering

morgan/knife: idk these guys started as spiderverse ocs but then i remembered i dont rly care about spiderman. theyre on earth after an alien corpse drifted into orbit and the research trips to and from it brought all kinds of freaky diseases to earth and caused something like an apocalypse (altho it also kickstarted space travel). knife was a prototype soldier who escaped the lab in his preteens and met morgan on the road. theyve been travelling together for 8+ years idk knife pair-bonded with morgan so make of that wjhat you will

leo/jinx: work at private anomaly control company. that doodle is really bad. leo has a deal with a faustian anomaly for power and jinx (who i kinda wanna rename) basically just weakly shocks anything he touches. and they kiss. badly ‼️

nettle: (the doodle is from when these were ocs in the sims theyre like. a lot different now) host to parasitic anomalous plant. hes nervous all the time. adoptive brother of end and dating alora. his dad got a government job in the anomaly control sector after nettle was parasitized as a child and taken into govt custody

alora: shes very normal actually. supportive parents and loving household. no special abilities, joined wanting to help people, eventually becomes disillusioned to the reality of anomaly control, especially as a government agency

end: self-proclaimed demon of the void. can eradicate up to about 3 square feet of matter at a time. they dont get along well with people but hit it off with most animals immediately, except dogs. nettle's dad basically adopted them after they met

the homosword (other guy not pictured): ancient weapon with a kind of sentient computer in it (i really gotta redesign the sword i dont rly like it anymore). other dude is a type of human that can both endure very high temps and can get really hot with emotions (to the point of possibly burning to death when something like grief or rage is experienced), lives in what is essentially a country-sized junkyard pretty much constantly on fire with his nomadic people (avoiding the Great Firestorm). finds the sword and uhammmmmm ... adventure (and gay love.......)

daisy: anomalous humanoid creature. hes carnivorous and used by an organized crime group to dispose of bodies. not very well taken care of. he might end up as a side character but i like him a lot. older oc, new doodle so u can see him

[musubiki]

taffy: my wife is mad at me. i hope i die.

seriously though, that comic really made me sad. i want coffy to have the fluff too. i would also love to hear your coffy hcs too because i'm so in love with them too (please).

THATS LITERALLY HIM AFTER EVERY FIGHT!!!!!!! and coco has to go and be like "I still love you just let me be mad. we're not breaking up"

and dw they will!!!!! eventually!!! but for a long time its a lot of *gestures to coffy* ....this. just by the nature of enemies to friends to lovers....wereas limochi have known each other for so long....good to have different flavors of romance stories...

anyway heres some headcanons (canons??) including some times they run into each other during pre-timeskip before taffy is a guild member (long post about their interactions/history):

every morning, coco goes for a run. its part of that little bucket list her parents made her, to "live a healthy lifestyle." this is also the origins of her magic item quick shoes power!!! much like how limes baseball hobby turned into the thunderbat, cocos running hobby turned into her magic item (she named "the talaria") (this is relevant i promise)

anyway, she runs around the area where she lives which happens to be near the docks. taffy works at the docks (weird that one of the main villians of the pre-timeskip works a normal 9-5 but he gotta feed himself somehow. mochi never knows this because she never goes to this area (too close to the water for her taste. only ever to visit coco occasionally, and even then she doesnt venture down to the docks)

this results in coco just. running into taffy. at the small-business grocery store a block away from where she lives. shes just running one morning like "La di da, taking a jog~ its been a few weeks since that weird guy kidnapped me and tried to kill mochi, at least i never have to see him again-" and then hes there buying fucking apple juice at the checkout counter

when they see each other, taffys whole body is a mixture of panic and ... something??? he thinks. why is my heart beating so fast, he thinks. the old lady behind the counter is like "Oh taffy is this a friend of yours?" (she has no idea) and coco and taffy just looking at each other in tense silence ready to throw down at any second

"I thought you were dead!" "Just let me buy my apple juice in peace, I have to clock in soon." "Clock IN- WHAT???!!!"

that little small business grocery store becomes neutral ground. apparently taffy is a regular enough that the owner (the old lady) knows him, and has no idea hes a water magic bad guy, and they both agree starting a magic fight with a bunch of innocent people around who have nothing to do with it benefits no one

"Aren't you like...evil? I thought you'd be into the whole killing innocents thing." "...what?"

this is a good place to actually get taffy to talk. during these encounters this is where coco gets to actually ask him what his deal is and try and talk sense into him, none of which works

cocos social resiliance is insane, eventually gets to the point where theyre there at the same time, and she doesnt have enough money to buy eggs so she turns around and looks at him and says, in all seriousness, "I need five dollars." and taffy, after a long period of silence and a face that says "????????????" just. places a 5 dollar bill in her hand. why am i doing this, he thinks. why is SHE doing this?

coco never tells mochi she runs into taffy like this. the reason is that in the few conversations shes has with mochi about taffy, mochi seems incredibly stubborn on the idea of trying to help him. shes under the mindset of "Hes trying to kill me, and i intend to protect myself from him, and thats it." and to be fair, she has every right to think that

but coco, who has had at least some interaction with him, thinks hes not necessarily 100% evil and some part of her wants to help him. (he did save her after all, even though hes the one that kidnapped her in the first place, and apparently hes not evil enough to just wreak havoc anywhere he goes)

Im not totally sure why coco is so willing to help him. maybe she feels bad for him, or some part of her thinks helping him will make her a better person, like the kind of person her parents wanted her to be. maybe its because when she was all alone and at her worst point, she had people who believed in her and helped her and wouldnt give up on her and she wants to be that kind of person for this man, who has no one.

he isnt reliably at the docks working. sometimes she cant find him, shes not sure where he goes.

the second time they encounter taffy is when coco gets the talaria. in a fight where mochi actually gets downed by the water magic for the first time, and lime almost gets fucking GOT by taffy, mochi uses whatever magic she has left to infuse magic into cocos shoes and leaves it to her. this is the first time coco absolutely kicks his ass, 1) because its his first time fighting her and 2) he has a VERY hard time bringing himself to hurt her.

after this fight, he realizes he has a serious problem

he actually kidnaps coco a second time afterwards (LMFAO)!! shes like "SERIOUSLY?!?!?" and he goes "Maybe next time don't be so easy to kidnap." this attempt at getting mochi also fails

they run into each other occasionally between main confrontations. taffy doesnt attack directly one after the other, theres usually a good amount of time that lapses between encounters for him to regain his strength and strategize.

another time they run into each other is at this little food festival at the docks. coco goes because hey free food!! and taffy goes because "Oh my god...free food." when they run into each other taffy is like "........since we're both here.........do you wanna maybe.....walk around....together...." and she goes "Are you for real" (she does it anyway because he offers to pay for any games she wants to play. when she asks why hes trying to do this, maybe get her to lower her guard so he can kidnap her again?? and he gets really quiet before responding. "I dunno. It's lonely to walk around by myself." and she stares at him for a bit and says "Yeah I guess so.")

anyway this is a really soft night for them. at the end coco asks "So heading home, huh? What does home look like for you?" and he doesnt respond. its only at this point she learns he doesnt actually have a place to stay. he just wanders around to find the nearest warm place to sleep, sometimes breaking into cars or under overpasses or something.

so she offers like "Hey...I have a couch. Wanna sleep there tonight?" and his fucking weak ass says "...yes."

anyway he gets a taste of the warmth of normal life here (he is insanely awkward when he stays with her. she gotta be like "Dude please chill out you are making me anxious"). his heart is racing the whole damn time and gets nervous anytime he looks at her. why is she nice to me? what does she have to gain? he thinks. this must be some kind of weird strategy to get me to lower my guard. why am i falling for it? and then she hands him a bowl of popcorn and turns on a soap opera and hes even more confused.

he wishes would never have to leave but by the next morning, hes gone without a note or anything. she doesnt see him for a while after this.

at one point, coco also gets kidnapped by the coattails. she goes "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?" banging on the rails of her cell, and they go "What? You're easy to kidnap." (cocos running joke is that any kidapping/hostage situation, she is always the one to get stolen lol)

THIS is the time that TAFFY GOES TO GET HER!!!!! at the same time mochi goes to get her. and it turns into "Okay truce until coco is safe then we can kill each other." and taffy begrudgingly goes "....fine."

at the end of this quest mochi actually does get knocked out. either in combat or by using up all her magic, and taffy HAS the opportunity to kill her. right there in front of him. coco doesn't have the talaria, and mochis out cold. but he doesn't because coco is there pleading and crying for him to not hurt her.

after THIS he realizes okay, this problem is more serious than i thought.

amanita also takes note that because of coco, taffy is no longer useful in the fight against the cat witch, and after this point is where she starts getting involved directly.

anyway ill stop there cuz its already a long post but here are the taffy/coco pre-timeskip interactions!!!

[doctoratecuddles]

ANON I MISS THE OLD ART STYLE TOO!! preboot and the first volume of the reboots' artstyle is what drew me to read the comic in the first place! ITS SO BORING NOW! i understand that kit probably dropped the style because it's too time consuming for panels to be pumped out that way (also maybe staff couldn't replicate it? who knows?) BUT I MISS IT!!! NOW ITS SO.. GENERIC AND THE PROPORTIONS ARE WAY OFF :(

you can sorta get away with some wacky anatomy if the style is cartoony enough for it to look natural and it DID work for the past sparklecare stuff imo! rubberhose-y! now it's just idk its like.. its hard to look at kits new art because of the obvious anatomical mistakes

take the new eve art on the sc tumblr for example those arms are WAYY too long to support the body IT JUST DOESNT LOOK GOOD I MISS OLD SPARKLECARE I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL AND WOULD GIVE EVERYTHING TO HAVE NEW SC LOOK LIKE THE OLD SC

anatomy died the moment KC decided her new art was completely normal and acceptable ngl LKJSJDAJOSJD IDK WHAT ELSE TO ADD TO THIS THIS IS SO WELL PHRASED

[officialbillhader]

Tell us more about your OCs ❕❕❕

This is either gonna be the shortest thing or this is gonna open a big can of worms. I do want this to be a published book one day but who knows when so major spoilers below i suppose. Cw for suicide, femicide, child death. Its a dark story

Ok so this story is still hugely in development meaning the characters are too. Honestly it started as me wanting to write another macden fic where dennis is a gay serial killer bc im so obsessed with that but the scene i was picturing in my head was just too good to give to macden. And ive obviously loved this idea, i kept projecting it onto macdennis (and come on we all know the reddit fanboys are wrong abt sk dennis) so i thought why not make it original. Normally i make horrible ocs. Theyre always so flat. But these two keep jumping out at me like they actually exist, establishing themselves into something i never thought they could be.

We have joe (joseph) (he has his name for religious symbolism) who is the serial killer. He commits femicide exclusively (except for his spouse's father, who i mentioned yesterday he kills bc he was dying of cancer). But basically the story starts by him killing the preacher's daughter named mary who is only 12 yrs old. YEAAAH BUUDDY.

His spouse is the narrator who is so ekvkekvkwkwkfkke he's a man but its more interesting if the reader doesnt find that until near the end. And his name is not found out until the last chapter when his husband addresses his suicide note to him. Basically he doesnt exist outside of husband, its hard to discover anything abt him if the reader isnt getting the informatjon from his husband.

They meet in high school when joe moves to his high school (after his mom left him bc she was scared of him) and they become fast friends bc the narrator is simply easy to control. The first murder happens on their prom night when theyre 16/17, joe murders the narrators prom date. And the narrator doesnt run or leave him!!! Instead they marry!! Hes so foolish 🙄

The narrator is religious himself, but joe doesnt know that, and after mary's murder he sneaks away sunday mornings to go to the church that the preacher is at. Bc he knows who killed their daughter, but never says a word as they pray rvery week to bring the man to justice. Her body is found on christmas eve/day btw.

Theres so much more, but im still figuring a lot out and i also just revealed a lot and im hjdgnegbetwth

[tired-of-being-nice]

weird westerners

HELLO!! i have New Guys :3 don't worry i have not forsaken my old guys. there's just More of them now

basic worldbuilding summary: weird anachronistic fantasy/sci-fi version of the american west that's like somewhere between Cowboy Times and Mad Max but with the vibes of the space age. if that's anything. aesthetically it's a lot worldbuilding wise it's kind of nothing. it's just fucking weird okay. anyway. point is. four guys were in an Incident, died, and were brought back to life by (possibly different?) forces, and now they're kind of stuck together, like it or not.

characters and writings under the cut (cw for body horror: multiple eyes, visible (drawn) blood), and plant horror(?)

(picrews are pre & post resurrections)

zenith "zeni" (ze/them)

yes they do have blue hair. and pronouns. its actually more of a black to blue gradient but the picrew doesnt allow for that :(

unofficial leader of the group by virtue of Having The Car

doesn't really know how they feel about this. not sure they should be trusted with responsibility

kind of a bastard <3 very snappy and quick to anger, but good in a crisis (also partially why ze's the leader)

being resurrected gave zem some weird abilities and ze may or may not be Communing with whatever it was that resurrected zem in zer sleep?

dawn (they/she)

little mormon boy dies and comes back from the dead and immediately has a crisis of both faith and gender, more at 11

the most aggressively Not Wanting To Be Here out of all of them

wasn't friends with any of these people beforehand and most certainly isn't now

feels Really Weird about coming back from the dead. like really really weird about it. doesn't like to think or talk about it ever, if possible

because of this they don't know if they got any abilities in the resurrection

eve (they/it/dea)

didn't exactly...get resurrected? they're a ghost now.

varying levels of tangible from moment to moment. they're not very good at controlling it but get better over time

pretty quiet, especially compared to the rest, and tends to retreat from the situation when things get contentious and...fade into the background (now literally!)

can phase through objects when intangible and possibly possess people, though it hasn't tried

rosa (she/her)

got resurrected especially weird. plant body horror moment

really doesn't like this. sympathetic to dawn over both feeling Fucked Up about it

occasionally tries to play peacemaker between dawn and zenith, but pretty quickly decides that's not the best idea and tries to stay out of it and help smooth things over once they've cooled down

despite her numerous Complexes probably the best at interacting with other people normally out of all of them. as long as they don't freak out about the whole plant zombie thing that is

chronological story masterlist:

snowed in (#1)

trust issues (#2, whumptober day 2)

death do us part (#3, whumptober 13)

don't split the party! (zeni and dawn get kidnapped oh no)

"we had a good run" (#4, whumptober 17)

nameless (#5, whumptober 18)

"it's not your fault" (#6, whumptober 20)

and my nightmares will have nightmares every night (#7, whumptober 26)

denial (#8, whumptober 28)

recovery (#9, whumptober 30)

[prorevmakeouts]

im considering my other set of OCs today

MISS rhys (no relation) and lee they are like. well budget blake / eve i suppose rhys kind of has blakes body type but eves personality while lee is the opposite. but this is just me having types and i do not accept criticism for this

lee is likeeee super buff with Some fat while rhys is a scrawny little guy... lee tries 2 get her to work out with her but rhys is a noodle-armed little emo girl she would not thrive in a gymbro environment.

lee has a more Chill personality rhys is very high strung. theyre in a band together lee is the drummer and rhys is the rhythm guitar / singer / manager who constantly bosses the Official manager around / marketing guy / PR guy. lee is kind of just along for the ride she didn't even play percussion before rhys started the band she learned it specifically for her. just kind of goes with whatever life throws at her even if that involves now being in an insanely popular alt band

theyre both furries also but Can be human in my mind world (im bad at drawing humans. this is the only reason theyre furries lol) lee is a leucistic spotted hyena and rhys is a brown mutt doggy... lees got some tattoos while rhys likes to dye her fur/hair different colors and takes the showmanship / performance aspect of her job Very seriously. lee just wears ratty wifebeaters and cargo shorts on stage

and of Course they fuck bc this is the entire point of any story i have ever written the "themes" and "message" and "plot" all exist to lead to 2 women fucking. every single time. i cannot change my heart. rhys is basically the exclusive "top" cause her mindset in all things is Check This Off My List Get Shit Done with a sort of intensity to the Finish This Task part even if she does love lee. but shes also impulsive enough to simply initiate WAYYY more than lee does and again, lee just Goes with whatever shes chill like that. she does enjoy it but just doesnt get the chance to initiate often because it's either not the right Vibe or rhys has already beaten her to it. or shes just lazy tbh thats the main reason they don't typically do mutual shit: plus their size difference (lee is tall and beefy while rhys is shorter and scrawny) makes that difficult. lee Would occasionally initiate i think but as a like Special Treat i think rhys also has some insecurity that leads to her not wanting to "bottom" as often (:[)

i say top and bottom in quotes bc i dont rlly think those terms make as much sense for lesbians but when i say "top" i mean "the one eating out / strapping / fingering the other one" for Clarity's sake. and again they dont tend to do mutual shit like scissoring or any of the other hundreds of possible options bc 1. lee is kind of lazy and won't bring it up unprompted and 2. size difference makes it difficult. lee is scared of hurting her lol. also i dont find that shit as hot Sorry i like there 2 be focus on One Person At A Time

their story takes place in a time generally analogous to 90s-2000s usa (though its NOT just normal usa like in sanctuary this is a different Location bc its easier to justify the furry shit that way) erm lots of typical homophobia especially in their Scene and theyre also dealing with not being taken as Seriously by peers and critics as an all-female band with a Very eccentric and gnc frontwoman. lee has slightly Less internalized shit than rhys i think but she still wants to stay closeted just so she doesn't have to deal with the media circus, rhys has Internalized shit where she hates being gay so so badly and wants to stay closeted as to not negatively impact her career. internalized shit leads to things like randomly crying during sex, flipping into emotional coldness on a switch, not wanting to be seen around lee in public but then Also having a freakout because she misses her and has separation anxiety, "i hate myself for liking you too much" shit, etc. i think she gets over it eventually though especially when their band goes on hiatus and she learns to focus more on what she Actually wants to do as an artist instead of maximizing her reach (not necessarily sanitizing herself... she does wild shit for attention all the time, including being openly supportive of gay people which is why she gets the gay accusations thrown at her to begin with. she just doesnt want to be ACTUALLY out because its too personal: the eccentric way she behaves on stage is a persona, and coming out for real would weaken the divide between Stage Rhys and Real Rhys which is scary for her). also on said hiatus lee is basically an unemployed bum living off of savings she had from when the band was super popular and selling out venues selling out of CDs etc. but it also gives them time to have a more Normal relationship since theyre out of the spotlight (well. not FULLY out of the spotlight because the media and fans dont just forget about shit like that, but theyre under less scrutiny). moving in together etc etc. and they can fuck more 👍

[askinkiskarma]

I’ve been so excited to read this for so long and I hope you enjoy my ramblings, lovely eve x 

First of all not my absolute favourite Florence and the machine song :((( we’re starting off so strong!!!

When they set fire to the Forests just to watch the Great Mother bleed.

I love this sentence so much, I’m such a whore for a well structured and visual sentence. 

You’re grinding Ti’ku’klu seeds into a fine paste, your arm tired as you stare wordlessly into nothing.

I love how many Na’vi words and details you have included, it means so much to me when people do their research and you definitely have and it shows and I appreciate it and you!!!

Zephya is only a few years older than you- and yet the light seems to be gone from her eyes. Dimmed down to something small and wilting.

Zephya is me fr hahahahaha 

Tuk is rarely quiet, always a babbling brook but even she isnt immune to the tense atmosphere that looms, to the toretoure that is waiting for the warriors to return. She talks about the necklace, but her tail flicks nervously behind her. At her side, a carved wooden Toruk toy hangs in her loose grip.

This sentence tickled my brain in all the right ways, I love it so much. I love your command of words, it’s so inspiring!

-Its a small thing. A barely there shake of Netryam’s head but it sends a clear message. He doesn't want you to approach. When he turns away from you, giving you the necessary but cold shoulder your unsettled stomach lurches. 

It’s like it plays out in slow motion, you watch the family from the edge. An outsider. Not welcome in their obviously private conversation. Even Spider, a human, get’s to be closer than you do. 

You’re unwelcome. 

Ouch that actually hurt my heart, you do so well at portraying these emotions without making it overtly obvious or unnecessarily drawn out, I love it so much

You wish, as you so often do, that you could welcome Neteyam the same. That you could run into his arms.

:((( agh 

Violence and hurt had pushed you into eachothers arms, both of you seeking companionship. Someone to weather the storm with. 

It wasnt love. Not to him, you know that.

That’s so heartbreaking and so universally relatable, feeling the need for a soul to share your woes with, feeling the need for physical and emotional connection. Also, feeling unwanted, feeling not good enough - it’s something most of us experience and it never stops hurting, especially during your first love. 

He’s so handsome it makes you sick.

Too real

“Y/N, hey-” He seems to be more serious than before as he urges you to look at him “I'm not sure what’s wrong, but If you want me to go I will”

We stan a respectful king

Everything in your body, your soul, protests at his words. There is no part of you that wants him to leave.

Ahhh I feel that :((( 

So what if he doesnt love you. You have to take whatever you can get. You dont want him to find solace with anyone else, dont want him to leave and never return-

Againnn, so relatable and sad, I love it, I eat this shit up, angst is my particular brand of heroine (pls get the twilight reference so I don’t embarrass myself)

“I want you to stay with me tonight,” everynight.

MY HEARTTT

“Can I kiss you?”

WE STAN A KING WHO ASKS FOR CONSENT

His kisses are dirty, all demanding tongue and nipping fangs. He kisses like a man whos trying to get his dick wet. Like he wants to pick you up, crush you to him. Rut into you-

MY THIGHS JUST CLENCHED

Watching his walls come down and the facade of Olo’eyktan in training slip. Neteyam is funny and witty and a downright gossip. You enjoy talking to him as much as you enjoy getting fucked by him.

Awww,i love that, the idea that he’s funny and a gossip. The notion that beneath the facade he’s still just a normal guy, just trying to live and enjoy the smaller things in life, trying to involve himself with small, mundane issues that take his mind off the overwhelming, difficult, heartbreaking reality he lives most of the time in.

They’re hungry, you’ve never seen him look at anything the way he looks at you.

oK BUT NETEYAM AND ME WHEN???!?

“You’re such a good girl for me” Neteyam praises you, all choppy. His long  fingers tangled in your waist length hair. 

That is what you adore the most. 

The Omaticayan prince is so vocal. He’s all whimpery moans and deep gritty groans. He lets you know exactly what he likes and doesn't like. And he rains down praise on you like its his job. 

You’re his good girl. His sweet berry. His little whore.. 

THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH MADE ME CLIMB UP A WALLLL

“You want to get fucked”

👀 I mean…

“Do you promise?” You sound young, look so small in his big arms. 

“I promise” 

Weeks later, The Sully’s leave the tribe. 

The way my heart SHATTEREDDDD

Neteyam leaves. 

You were a fool to believe he’d keep his promise. 

Argh, SO SO GOOD BB OMGGG, I think you know by now how much I love and live for the angst, and you made me feel thinggssss. I loved this story so much, and I’m sorry it took me so long to get to it xx

Heavy In Your Arms

A/N: We didn't get enough time at High Camp. I swear, it was the perfect setting for hurt/comfort. Forever upset about it.

Word Count: 5.5K

Warnings: Explicit smut. Aged Up characters. Talks of PTSD and war. Injuries. Blood. Angst. Cursing. Oral Sex(male receiving). Riding. Service Top Neteyam. Reader with a praise kink.

Summary: You and Neteyam find moments of peace during the war. Neteyam x Fem! Omaticaya Reader

I was a heavy heart to carry,

My beloved was weighted down.

My arms around his neck,

My fingers laced a crown- Florence & The Machine

Life can change in an instant.

One moment, things are as they have always been. Your existence a well loved pattern, easy and comfortable in the Forests of Pandora.

You had been born after the Long War, after the evil Tawtute had been sent back to their dying planet. You had only ever known peace and kind humans like the scientist that lived in the rickety out post. You’d only ever known the rich and abundant rule of Toruk Makto, Jake led your people to victory and prosperity. The Omatikayan Village had been a beautiful one to grow up in, colorful and cheerful and thriving despite all that it had endured.

Your days had been filled with community and childlike wonder.

That had all changed when the Sky People returned. When they set fire to the Forests just to watch the Great Mother bleed.

Your naivety had been stolen, snatched away by uncontrollable circumstances.

By war.

High Camp is nestled deep within the Ayram Alusing hidden in a twisting impenetrable cave system.

It is bustling and busy and just bit cramped.

The Omatikaya are a resilient people and even through forceful uprooting had managed to make due of the space given. The Stronghold is littered with Canvas tents and woven mats. Small burning fires, and a larger one for the communal meals that are so desperately needed after long days battle.

You spend most of your time in the main healers keklu, working tirelessly with Mo’at and the other medicine leaders. You’d never been much of a healer, always more of a story teller. You’d get lost in the tales of old, in the songs of the ancient ones, but since the invasion, most had honed their medical craft.

It was all hands on deck, wherever you could be helpful you would be.

It’s good. Keeping your hands full is a good thing. It helps to distract your restless mind.

The War Party had left early in the morning- the sun still hiding behind the shadow of the eclipse, and had still not returned yet. You fear that it might be one of those missions, the kind that lasts days and leaves the village in shambles as they wait for the return of the warriors.

You’re grinding Ti’ku’klu seeds into a fine paste, your arm tired as you stare wordlessly into nothing.

The healers tent is quiet, filled with only low chatter and the crackling of the fire, the boiling of the pot that contains a potent medicine. One that needs to be kept hot and steaming. You cant seem to be present, to keep up with conversation when your mind is so far away- soaring over the forest. Focused on the unseen battle

This would be a dangerous one, you’d heard the whispers of the people. The humans were growing sick of the raids. They had heavy precautions laid out- would kill any Na’vi on sight. You trusted your Olo’eyktan whole heartedly, truly, you did.

But the thought of having to lay any more of your brothers and sisters to rest made bile raise in your throat like acid. There had been so much death, so much loss.

You sneak a peek at the woman next to you as she works in sorting bandages.

Zephya is only a few years older than you- and yet the light seems to be gone from her eyes. Dimmed down to something small and wilting. You’d never forget the piercing sound of her cries, echoing off the rock cave walls as her munxatan’s (husbands) body was brought back from the last raid.

Another round of nauseating anxiousness churns in your stomach.

You dont know if you could survive it…

Would you be forced to? Would this war force you to watch the ones you loved die?

The thought of losing your own lover is enough to send you free falling. Spiraling into your own mind.

“That is quite enough” Mo’at tuts her tongue in your direction and you stare at her with a wide, almost guilty expression. Had the Tsahik heard your thoughts? Sometimes you didnt doubt the elderly woman could, with all of her boundless knowledge and those all knowing amber eyes “You will destroy the paste, it is not meant to be so thin”

“Oh” you feel like dunce as you look down at the mortar and pestle in your hand “I apologize, I just wanted to make sure it was well mixed”

“Hmm” she doesn't call your bluff “Why dont you take a break. Go find more herbs, the fresh air wll clear your head. You’re no used to me here with thoughts so loud”

Her words are casual but her gaze is knowing and warm and you nod eagerly “Of course, Tsahik”

You’re happy for the break and the opportunity to stretch your legs, you stand quickly and exit the incense heavy area.

Everyone has gotten good at pretending.

At pretending they’re not terrified, at trying to go on with any semblance of normalcy. The scientists still gather near their trailers, facemasks on and typing away at holo tablets. The karyus’ still teach the younglings, their little giggles can be heard in the distance. You smile, a very practiced mask, at any you pass. Are pleasant. Friendly. Not betraying the inner turmoil you feel-

You’re jostled out of the heavy thoughts.

Nearly rushed straight on your ass, more like it.

“Oof-” the wind is knocked out of you as a small but solid weight collides with your side. You look down and find big golden eyes string up at you- golden eyes so familiar.

“Y/N! Hi!” Tuktirey is the youngest Sully, and probably the one you’ve always been the cloestst to. Back home, years ago, she’d become a bit enamored with you. More specifically, you’re weaving and jewelry crafting skills. Many teased that she was your shadow. “Look, look’it what I made”

You cant help but grin. Her joyful energy is contagious and you’re glad for the distraction. You take the necklace she shoves into your face delicately. Run your fingers over the rows of mis matched beads. She really is quite good.

“Very pretty, Tuk. You’re getting so good! Soon you;ll take my place- the whole clan will be trampling over themselves to wear one of your pieces” You’re words make her blush, make the smile on her face go a bit shy and bashful.

She looks so much like her brother it hurts.

“I did that thing you showed me! You’re right- sometimes the bigger beads need the little ones to anchor them”

Tuk is rarely quiet, always a babbling brook but even she isnt immune to the tense atmosphere that looms, to the toretoure that is waiting for the warriors to return. She talks about the necklace, but her tail flicks nervously behind her. At her side, a carved wooden Toruk toy hangs in her loose grip.

You figure, maybe you can distract her too.

You reach for the toy and she holds tight to it before sighing. You’re probably going to take it, she thinks. Tell her to stop being annoying. Chastise her the way that others had when she’d tried to get them to play with her. All day long, everyone had turned their heads or sighed in annoyance when she’d approached-

You raise the wooden Toruk above her head- and let out an undignified squawk. Your best impression of the mighty beast. It’s dismal, but it seems to satisfy the little girl who instantly breaks out into giggles.

“You better run, Tuk Tuk” you grown payfully, sending the toy into a nosedive “Before I eat you whole”

She shrieks and sets out running in the opposite direction and take after her, ignoring the stares. Should you be back in the medicine tent helping? Maybe. You’d rather play with the seven year old instead.

The two of you play for a while, until your thighs burn and your lungs hurt from laughing. You dont have the endurance of a child, she runs absolute circles around you. She’s fast and agle and quite obviously takes Neytiri’s lessons to heart, even at her young age. You can only use your size to you’re advantage, picking her writing squirming body up and spinning her round-

The horn is loud and echos through the rock walls of the cavernous case.

Both yours and Tuk’s ears swivel, perk up and stand to attention.

There it is. The calls of your people. The sounds of ikran wings flapping.

Tuk writhes in your hold, the back of her head connecting with your lip painfully as she hollers joyfully “They’re back!”

Shes off then, only sparing you a quick glance as you seem to stand there in daze, rubbing your slightly split lip lightly as your stomach does somersaults.

“Come on!” The little one hollers back at you and your feet carry you forward, seemingly of their own volition.

The crowds are building as the people make their way for the edge, where ikrans land by the dozen. Carrying the warriors on their back. Along the way, Kiri and Spider join you. Eagerly bouncing along, following an over animated Tuk.

Excitement and dread bubbles in your stomach, a horribly potent and toxic mix. It’s always like this when they return. When he returns. You’re so anxious to see him, physically there. Alive. So anxious that he might not be-

Your eyes are peeled for the familiar swirling green and blue patterns of Atanzaw, his ikran.

“Mom!” Tuk screeches, of course she spots them first.

Your eyes follow her,

Straight to him.

Neteyam.

He dismonts his ikran, alot less gracefully then his mother did. His actions sluggish and unlike him- it only takes you a moment to notice how injured he is. The bleeding wounds and bruises that litter his body arent pretty and hes limping, not putting his full weight on his right thigh. His face in smeared war paint- blacks and yellows and greens. They make him look intense, as he stangs tall and muscular and still fully dressed in his tsamsiyu(warrior)garb.

When his gaze meets yours your breath gets stuck in your throat.

Usually when he returns they’re bright. The adrenalin of the fight still cursing through his veins like wildfire- this time thats drained. His eyes are filled with barley concealed dread. Sharp with pain.

Your fingers itch and your chest aches, the invisible string that ties you to him taught. You want nothing more then to go to him-

“Sully’s, fall in” Jake’s voice is booming and stern. All Olo’eyktan. Marine. War leader. You can barley recognize him like this. So far away from the carefree doting father he’d always been.

-Its a small thing. A barely there shake of Netryam’s head but it sends a clear message. He doesn't want you to approach. When he turns away from you, giving you the necessary but cold shoulder your unsettled stomach lurches.

It’s like it plays out in slow motion, you watch the family from the edge. An outsider. Not welcome in their obviously private conversation. Even Spider, a human, get’s to be closer than you do.

You’re unwelcome.

The heated words. The way that Jake scolds his sons, you’re not supposed to be privy to it.

“Jesus, I let you two geniuses lead a fleet and you disobeyed direct orders!”

Those words hurt you, for him. You know that they must peirce right through Neteyam. He still hasnt looked back in your direction and you are sure he doesnt want you to bare witness to any of it.

You slink away, slowly falling back. Fading into the background of loved ones reuniting. Warriors returning, alive and dead. The clan welcoming them back with open arms. You wish, as you so often do, that you could welcome Neteyam the same. That you could run into his arms. Hold him the way you ache to after these difficult and dangerous missions-

You convince yourself that you are content with just knowing that he is alive, and make your way back to the healers tent where your presence is wanted.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It gets so cold in the mountains. Frigidly so.

The wind whips through the caves, leaving a bone deep chill in their wake. You keep the fire at the center of your tent going all night long, and can normally be found crouching at it’s hearth. It’s been raining on and off all day, torrential down pour to drizzles- from the sound it seems as though it has finally stopped. Quieted down.

You wonder if the sky is clear and the stars are bright. You miss climbing high into the trees after the evening eclipse. Miss gazing at the constellations, miss basking in the Pandoran night and listening to the sound of the forests.

Mo’at had sent you home, demanding you get some sleep.

It had been three days since the soldiers had returned and they had been very busy. Full of tending to the wounded, and organizing for the dead. You’d thrown yourself headfirst into anytask that was given to you. Kept yourself busy. Useful.

You didnt have the time to mope and obsess over a man that was not yours.

That is what you told yourself at least.

This…thing that you and Neteyam shared didn't have a name or a definition. It had started out of loneliness, out of the desperation for comfort. Before the humans had come back and brought their war upon the clan, you dont think the future Olo’eyktan had ever really looked at you twice. Violence and hurt had pushed you into eachothers arms, both of you seeking companionship. Someone to weather the storm with.

It wasnt love. Not to him, you know that. He would marry a woman with high standing one day- one that could be his match. Become Tsahik.

That wouldnt be you.

For Eywa’s sake, you could barely do stitches. You messed up simple tasks like making salves. You would not delude yourself into thinking it was anything more. Many Na’vi couple without mating, pleasure isn't stigmatized in your community. That was all it was. A need for pleasure. Your body satiates him and that is all.

You cant go looking for him. Begging for his time or his touch.

So you sit by your fire, thread your necklaces, and long for the stars.

You’re humming a tune to yourself, something soft and gentle and melodic when theres a sudden shift. The canvas wall of your tent shakes and your stiffen, reaching for your knife that lies on the makeshift table next to your bed-

Neteyam slips through the flap- easy as anything. Smoothly, his motions fluid from all of those years of training.

Your eyes and mouth are wide open, ears lying low to your head.

“Hi” the man grins, boyish and handsome as ever.

As though he hadnt just broken into your home. It’s not like the two of you hadnt done this before, he’d spend many nights sneakily tucked inside your tent but he usually came through the front entrance.

“Vonva!(asshole)”you hiss at him, exasperated “You- ugh! I couldve stabbed you!”

He’s so handsome it makes you sick. He’s so tall and broad, a few of his braids falling into his face as his eyes sparkle with mirth “That would not be very nice of you, what have I done to deserve such a fate?”

“Breaking and entering is grounds for stabbing” you huff “you scared me!”

Neteyam steps forward a bit, hands out stretching to you, tone gentle “Hey, I didnt mean to scare you. I just wanted to see you is all, Im sorry”

You hate the way that you’re so easy for him. He ignores you for days, and then shows up unannounced and you’re jumping at any and all attention he may give you.

The way that as his large hands engulf the tops of your arms, you lean into his touch greedily.

“It’s fine. It's just- very late. I wasn't expecting anyone” you try to keep your tone even “I was actually about to go to bed”

“Oh?” Neteyam wonders, his tail flicking behind him “Can I join you?”

Your heart speeds up, if thats even possible. Both at his words and his tone. The insinuation right there. He had spent too much time in your bed that really, it shouldn't be a question. You'd always welcomed him into your nest of blankets, your warm arms. In between your soft thighs-

“I'm not sure that would be a good idea” you respond, stepping out of his hold.

Neteyam sags a bit, surprised. His ears swivel and his smile weans, tugging downwards at the corners of his full lips “Not a good idea? Why not?”

You shrug, not able to look directly at him. Instead focusing on his shoulders. His abdomen. He’s still all banged up, the bandaging covering his bruises are expertisley wrapped. Done by the Tsahik herself, obviously.

It’s the perfect excuse.

“You’re still hurt,” you insist ”You need to be careful, you don't want to reopen anything”

A smooth chuckle escapes him and makes a tingle run down your spine. He reaches out again, this time he grabs at your hand, leading it from its place awkwardly at your side to his chest. Pressing your palm gently against his warm skin.

“I'd like to stay with you tonight, if you’ll let me” Neteyam starts, you can feel the vibrations of his strong voice in your palm, pressed against the muscle “I may need you to be a little bit gentle with me though, paskalin”

You're quiet, lips quirked, stuck in your head for a moment as your fingers lightly trace over one of his stripes.

“Y/N, hey-” He seems to be more serious than before as he urges you to look at him “I'm not sure what’s wrong, but If you want me to go I will”

Everything in your body, your soul, protests at his words. There is no part of you that wants him to leave.

You’re being so stupid.

Neteyam could have anyone. Anyone. And he’s here, with you. So what if he doesnt love you. You have to take whatever you can get. You dont want him to find solace with anyone else, dont want him to leave and never return-

You lean in, where your hand is, on his strong chest and place a kiss to the edge of the bandaging. Its a small little thing, a barley there brush of your lips but still. When you look up at him through your lashes you know you must make quite the sight.

“Stay” you urge. “I want you to stay with me tonight,” everynight. ”Please?”

He looks unsure for just a moment, clearly thrown off by your conflicting mood, before he nods. He cups the side of your face then, forcing you to make eye contact with him. No matter how uncomfortably intense- you cant turn away.

“Can I kiss you?” His words make you quake. He hadnt asked, so explicitly, for months. Since the two of you were still fumbly and newly exploring eachothers bodies.

It makes butterflies erupt in your stomach, makes you giddiously nervous. You nod, way too hard “Mhmm”

And then he’s bending down, having to crouch because of how much taller he is, to capture your lips with his own.

Its always so good.

His mouth and the way it tastes and the way it makes you feel. Neteyam seems so sweet, everyone in the clan knows him as the Golden Boy. The perfect soldier- in privacay, in these stolen moments of intimacy, he’s anything but.

His kisses are dirty, all demanding tongue and nipping fangs. He kisses like a man whos trying to get his dick wet. Like he wants to pick you up, crush you to him. Rut into you-

And normally he would. Normally he tosses you around like nothing but a child’s ragdoll(and you let him), but he’s still hurt. Still tender and healing. When you wrap your arms around his shoulders and tug, trying to climb him like a tree, he hisses in pain,.

“Shit” you pull away from his mouth, your lips wet with his saliva “Sorry, I didnt mean to”

He just shakes his head, nuzzling at your cheek “It’s fine, I’m okay”

“Im hurting you” you argue.

“You’re not. Just- be gentle, okay?” Neteyam urges, trying to lean back into the kiss “Grandmother thinks they’ll heal quickly, but my ribs-” he breaks himself off, laughing a little strained. “I fucked them up pretty good”

You frown.

He always does this. Always downplays his pain. You will have none of it, you grab his hand and tug “Come, I will make you tea”

Neteyams hairless brows raise “You dont have to, I’m really fine”

“Bah” you lead him to your bed and push gently on his shoulders until he sits. “Enough, it is no trouble”

You keep an ornate clay kettle next to the fire, boiling water always ready. He watches you as you fiddle with the many little jars in your arsenal, collecting herbs here and there. Steeping them in the hot water before pouring him a steaming cup.

“Here- it is bitter, but it will dull the pain”

Neteyam accepts the tea with a small smile “Irayo(thank you)”

It’s nice having him in your space. In your bed amongst all of your softest things as the fire crackles and illuminates the tent in a warm glow.

The shadows it casts over his angular face make him look haunting. So beautiful.

You like to take care of things. Instruments. Broken pottery. Children. It comes naturally to you.

You dote on him even though he protests, check his bandages and make him drink the whole cup of strong leaf tea, before he lies down. You're perched beside him, still on the edge of the bed mat.

“I didn't come here to be nursed, Y/N” he sighs as you rub salve on one of his nastier bruises.

“Humor me” you reply wryly, your dainty fingers all over him.

It takes him a while to relax, as it always does.

But oh, its your favorite thing.

Watching his walls come down and the facade of Olo’eyktan in training slip. Neteyam is funny and witty and a downright gossip. You enjoy talking to him as much as you enjoy getting fucked by him.

You like that when given the opportunity and the ear to do so; he loves to talk. About any and everything. His deep voice is like a blanket, warming you up from the inside out.

“I feel bad. I sneak in here; scare you and then make you take care of me” He snorts, “You must be so sick of me”

“No” you reassure with gentle touches “Never that”

You dont really know what Neteyam sees in you.

You’re pretty enough- but far from the gorgeous warriors and dancers that throw themselves at him. But when he looks at you, like he is now, you know there must be something. Something that turns those eyes of his to molten amber. They’re hungry, you’ve never seen him look at anything the way he looks at you. Except maybe the prey that ends up victim to his arrows.

He makes you want to be good to him. Be good for him.

“I enjoy taking care of you” you whisper as you trace the leather cords of his tweng, your fingertips dipping dangerously below them. “Can I take care of you tonight, Neteyam? You want me to?”

Neteyam nods slowly, making room for you as you climb carefully over him. Spread his legs enough for you to settle between them.

You cant help it, cant help how much you touch. You cant get enough of the feeling of his strong body under your hands. All of that corded muscle, all of his pretty deep tahini speckled skin. His strong calves, his well built thighs.

When you reach where he’s hard, straining against his cloth, his eyes flutter closed. You rub him until he chubs up, all plump and hard. Until a patch of wetness starts to darken the cloth-

“Help me a little, sayrip(handsome)”you urge as you tug on the strings of his tweng. Neteyam lifts his slim hips, helps you shimmy it down his thighs-

You’ve seen him naked more times then you can count, now. But still. You’re always struck by it.

His cock springs free- thuds against his well toned lower stomach. Drooling and pulsing, the tanhi there exceptionally bright. He’s so pretty, so vulnerable that it goes to your head. Your leaning in, tongue first-

“Wait,” Neteyam gruffs, “I want to see you too”

Ah.

Neteyam was very partial to your body. He’d told you many times- would try to wrangle you out of your skirt whenever he got the chance.

You smile, raising up on your knees before tugging the gossamer top off, over your head, Your nipples are hard and peaked, reacting to the cold. You run your fingertips over them, knowing that he likes a show. He likes to watch. He props himself, arm behind his head as he does so, it feels so lewd to play with your breasts for him. To trail your hands slowly down your tummy, to your full hips- tugging on the strings of your own tweng.

When the mound of your pussy is revealed he groans, he can see the way your slick shines in the low fire light.

“Good Mother” Neteyam’s rough and demanding as he yanks on you, pulls you into a kiss “You’re so fucking sexy”

His kiss is fervent and you could so easily lose yourself to them- you know what he wants. He’s already inching closer to your hot wet slit, his big fingers kneading at your plush asscheeks.

“Lemme take care of you” your mumble is insistent, and he sighs. Letting you pull away. Letting you re situate yourself between his legs.

He just lays back flat once more, a lazy grin on his face. “Okay, baby. Take care of me”

You’d always loved giving pleasure with your mouth, and lovers you’d had before had told you how good you were at it. You liked the taste and feel of a heavy cock on your tongue.

With Neteyam, as everything seems to be, it’s different. You dont just like giving him head, you love it.

You love the way that he jerks when you give his rosy tip that first little lick. You love the salty tang of his precum, so much that you spread it all over. Your lips, your cheeks. You rub his cock along your face, nuzzling it. Your cheeks, chin and nose wet with him. You love the way it stretches your lips as you take him into your mouth- he’s the biggest you’ve ever had and it pushes you to your limit. The hinge of your jaw aching as you force him down your throat.

“You’re such a good girl for me” Neteyam praises you, all choppy. His long fingers tangled in your waist length hair.

That is what you adore the most.

The Omaticayan prince is so vocal. He’s all whimpery moans and deep gritty groans. He lets you know exactly what he likes and doesn't like. And he rains down praise on you like its his job.

You’re his good girl. His sweet berry. His little whore..

You take it so well. So- ah- determined for him. You ram him down your tight convulsing throat ,until you’re sobbing around his dick. Never trying to pull away. Eager to get him off.

It is the most shameful position you’ve ever been put in. You’re addicted to the way that me makes you feel- you could never allow yourself to be this with anyone else.

“I-Im close” He warns as though that's not exactly what you want.

“Good” you hum, before diving back in. Suckling on the head and the sensitive sides of his shaft over and over. Just like you know he likes it.

It doesn't take long at all, you can feel him twitching n your mouth. His balls, so full and swollen, start to pull up, taught and ready to blow.

“Oh fuck, Y/N. Fuck”

He gasps as he knots his fingers at your scalp, as he holds on for dear life, his hips swiveling madly. His belly concaving with his heaving, rapid breaths as as his orgasm rips through him.

It’s a good one. You can tell. He’s biting his lips bloody and grinding his head back into your pillows, eyes tightly closed as he rides the waves of pleasure. The whole time, he fists your hair, holding your face to his crotch.

You take his cum, all of it. Popping the tip on your mouth and catching the thick spurts with your tongue. He tastes so good, it feels so intimate to get to have him like this. You close your eyes and savor it, dont pull off until he's twitching and whining with over sensitivity.

You sit back on your haunches, wiping your messy mouth clean with the back of your hand and assessing the damage.

Neteyam is all shivery, his arm thrown over his face as he comes down from the high. He’s still struggling to catch his breath and you cant help the pride that

“You feeling any better, baby?” the human term of affection rolls off your lips, smug and sultry and he laughs behind his arm.

It takes a few moments, but he finally collects himself “You are way too good at that” he’s told you before, but repeats it as he pulls you close. You’re perched in his lap, his strong arms around your waist as he holds you close.

“I like watching you” you admit between the pecking kisses “I like the way you come”

He smiles into your mouth, you can feel his sharp canines on your lips “That’s my good girl”

You full body shiver at the praise, gritting your forehead against his and breathing through your nose in an attempt not to lose it. You're gushing between your legs, your thighs a sticky mess and your cunt swollen and blood hot.

“Your turn, huh? Come on, I know that pussy has to be needy. You want me to eat it?” Neteyam whispers hotly in your ear and you just groan.

And while his skills with his tongue are legendary, you’re feeling particularly empty, needing to be full of him after weeks of distance “Mmm, no. Want you inside of me”

“Can do” he affirms, his hands going to your hips, nudging you “Lay down, I’ll fuck you, paskalin. I’ll fuck you so good. Wanna’ stretch you out”

“Wait” you press a hand to his chest when you notice the grimace on his face. The one he’s trying to hide as he attempts to lift you “You’re still hurting, Nete”

“I’ll be fine, I’ve got you” He assures, stubbornly “I want you to feel good, too”

He’s not the only one who's stubborn. You wiggle out of his grip, pressing down firmly on his chest.

“We can try something else” you suggest, really not wanting him to hurt himself even worse. Neteyam can get…intense when hes fucking you. It’s all very physical, he pours buckets of sweet down onto you as he works your body.

“You want to get fucked” He reminds you, his hips jerking up pointedly so that you can feel his erection between your legs.

Eywa, yes you do. You want him, you want him to carve his way into your body. To bully your tight walls until they accommodate his wide girth.

You bite your lip and reach for his length, pumping his cock thats still wet with your spit before leaning in close so that you can whisper in his ear “We’re just going to have to compromise”

Neteyam is huffy until you sink down onto him and ride him until neither of you can formulate thoughts.

Until you’re boneless, tangled limbs and buried under your quilts.

The afterglow is your favorite.

Neteyam is always so gentle and tender after sex. He holds you, lets you lie your head on his chest and listen to the steady thrumming beat of his heart as he plays with your hair. The only thing that could make this better is if he reached for your kuru. Is if you got to experience Tsaheylu with him-

It’s not fair,

How could he expect you not to fall in love with him?

The quiet stretches on. The fire is dim and dying and the tent is mostly black, night creeping in and covering you both in darkness.

“I’m sorry” his voice almost startles you, his words confusing and unexpected “I’m sorry I ignored you- the day we came back. I was trying to figure out how to calm my dad down. He was so pissed and Lo’ak’s attitude only makes it worse-”

You don't say anything. You just keep listening to his strong heart.

“I didn't mean to hurt your feelings”

You don't respond for a while. You don't want to shatter the atmosphere that is shimmy fly wing delicate “I was just happy to see you alive. It terrifies me, that you’ll leave on one of these raids and never come back. I dont- I wouldn't know what to do if that happened”

“I'm not going to leave, Y/N” his arms tighten around you and you close your eyes, relishing the way he holds on to you. It makes you feel like maybe you're not the only one desperate for this to never end.

“Do you promise?” You sound young, look so small in his big arms.

“I promise”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Weeks later, The Sully’s leave the tribe.

They’re running, fleeing for the good of the Omaticaya people- that is what Jake says. He claims it is for the best. You have never doubted his prowess as Olo’eyktan until that moment.

The tribe mourns, falls into great sorrow as the family says their goodbyes.

You can not bear to look. You drown in your tears and hide in the crowd. Will not meet Neteyams gaze no matter how much he tries to get you to.

When he mounts his ikran and takes to the skies you feel something inside of you shatter. He disappears into the vast horizon.

Neteyam leaves.

You were a fool to believe he’d keep his promise.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Welp. Um hi guys lol. I was like let me post something short and sweet to come back with before I start hitting you guys with all of my Kinktober prompts next month. Somehow I ended up with a 5k angst filled what could be first chapter of a series. LOL I HATE MYSELF AND THE FACT THAT I CANT WRITE ONE SHOTS.

I literally don't have the time to work on another story, but if this one was a little too much angst, I'd be glad to give us a fix it Part Two.

This will be the last kind of stand alone update until after October. If you havent alread, check out Luna’s( @pandoraslxna )Kinktober prompt list. She is such a gem for cultivating it and helping keep this fandom alive and thriving.

As usual, please leave me some feedback. Good, bad(not mean though lol my psyche’s very fragile rn) I want to hear your thoughts!

Love ya, pretty babies!

[peruviandesertfox]

I just had dairy for the first time in 9 1/2 months and not even 5 minutes later had heartburn because my mind is convinced that life will be kind but my body is in full on karma mode...now comes the decision of whether it's worth the pain and discomfort to cheat for Christmas

[fredyria]

Alright, those headcanons were cute and all. Now about some spicy headcanons for Zuke and maybe West?

oop! first spicy headcanons here !!

please be reminded that those are going to be 18+ so please dont look under the cut if you arent 18 or more

ZUKE

this man is really shy about his kinks and all but in reality, he is open to anything in bed. he doesnt have any preferences for anything just not too weird

Zuke is actually not a virgin, he was with eve in his college times so their hormones was high and they did stuff, so he knows how to kiss and knows how to satisfy his partner

he actually prefers to give than receive because he loves to just analyse his partner, how they would react to his touch, his movements and the attention he gives them

Zuke is a moaner, meaning he moans and groans a bit loud but he is shy about them so he always tries to hold them in by biting his lips. spoiler, doesnt work all the time

he adores to travel his hands all over his partner to remember every parts that they loved to be touched by his own hands or mouth

does the drap fit the curtains ? yep ! it is also blue down there too

for how big it is down there, i would say around 20 and 24cm long and 4cm wide

he could last like 2 or 3 rounds depending how tired he is that day. He doesnt last more than 2 hours for a round, this man has a sensitive shaft so its hard for him to keep it long but he will try to hold it longer

he knows a lot about sex and stuff, he do a lot of research and, sometimes, he goes on the wrong side of the internet and learns a bit more everyday. Meaning if you talk to him about a certain subject, he might know about it and the bad stuff that could happen

Zuke is also open to be a switch sometimes

DK WEST

ooooh maaaaan ! this one here is a kinky one!

unfortunately tho, this man is a virgin. Doesnt know how to do it even tho he saw and watch a lot of videos

he did kiss before but he never had the chance to taste the sweet and great pleasure with a partner

because he only watched videos, he doesnt know if he prefers to receive or give but he is ready for both ;)

this man is only a top. He doesnt want and cant be topped, he will turn his partner around and show them who is boss

West growls in those times. Mostly when he is close, so he is sensitive in the normal way, but theres a few places on his body that will make him hard and want to take control

down there its actually curly and a bit of a hairy place but if he needs to, he will trim it but actually get lazy to do it

West would be around 30cm and maybe longer and 6cm wide. Have you seen this man hands ? he probably have the shaft to fit in these hands of his

his cardio and libido is huge ! with is body figure, he can last ALL night if he wants to. He did it one time alone in his cabine and had to clean the mess

he doesnt know a lot of stuff but like i said, as long as he is on top, he ready for it

[spythebandana]

Ohhhh, I oddly love that this was brought up b/c I’m sure I’ll see it again. Simplest explanation:

A) the tabernacle held the manna, the commandments, and Aaron’s staff. Mary is the NEW tabernacle that holds the bread of life which came down from heaven for the new exodus (Jesus), the Word and law of God (Jesus), and the ultimate priest and healer (Jesus). No one could touch the old tabernacle without dying b/c it was holy - set aside for God.

B) Mary was espoused to the Holy Spirit. He came upon her & Jesus was conceived. This was the natural order of things - two spouses whose union is fruitful (see: Adam & Eve). Mary was married to the Holy Spirit. She’s made a vow & isn’t about to go breaking it b/c Joseph is handsome & strong. Joseph is a just man. He’s not going to go try and sleep with God’s spouse.

C) Mary was not a surrogate - she chose to agree to conceive Jesus with the Holy Spirit. She agreed to marry God & was specially set aside for this role. No sex for Mary.

Fun fact: this is the oldest vocation for women outside of traditional marriage. Women today, consecrate themselves to the Lord, and live without having sex. They’re Consecrated Virgins, and wear a wedding dress on the day of their vows because THEY’RE MARRYING GOD. They live normal lives, work normal jobs, and have all sorts of spiritual children - just like Mary.

Surrogacy - this is a woman selling her body to a couple that can’t conceive. Even if she does it for free, she isn’t the one who will be raising the child (like Mary did with Jesus). She’s not married to either of the couple (unlike Mary). She didn’t conceive the child in her womb & make the incredible sacrifice of either raising it or giving the baby up for adoption. A couple scientifically engineered a child & is implanting it into the surrogate who will then bond with the child & have to give it up once born. Because of a contract. It’s not genetically her baby, but emotionally it’s her baby. It’s genetically the couple’s baby, but the baby doesn’t know it. The baby thinks the surrogate is its mother.

Adoption can be painful. Very painful. But it doesnt turn women and children into commodities. It doesn’t sow this much disaster for all the people involved. It honors the fact that all babies are gifts - not purchases.

An Onion article riffing on Pope Francis’s recently-stated opposition to surrogacy (by the way, breaking news: pope opposed to surrogacy) described Mary as a surrogate used to produce the son of God, and I can’t even bring myself to be too mad about it, given that they accidentally perfectly explained why I can’t get behind a theology in which Mary is a) a variable in the equation that leads to Christ, rather than a hard factor, b) on a temporary term of intimacy with the divine Father of her child that would not preclude her, for instance, having a few kids with Joseph once the Messiah was properly delivered into the world and the necessary obligation fulfilled.

[starrysupercell]

if it doesnt bother you too much, could you maybe do a stu and rico drabble?? platonic or like. brotherly?? if you can ^^

also i rlly like yer blog :p

TwT just when you think you're safe from robot feels. This became more of a oneshot because... Stu. (Can we call Tuesday....Stu's Day, lmao.) Hope you like it...! 🎆🔫 Also, thanks! 😊

At the start of the show, Ricochet sat stubbornly, crossing his arms. His eye remained narrowed even amidst the excited crowd.

"Cheer up, Rico," Brock said, leaning over to him, speaking loudly to be heard over the crowd. "C'mon, give the guy a chance. You can't judge him on how he looks alone."

"I can and I will." Rico said.

8-Bit grinned mischievously. Due to his height, he was standing on the seat next to Rico to watch the show. "Scared you might be replaced by the next model?" He asked.

Instead of answering, Rico reached behind  8-Bit, grabbed the top portion of his head, and pushed him forward so he was precariously on the edge of the chair.

"Stooop!" The arcade machine complained, trying to upright himself to no avail. Rico laughed.

Brock double-took and reprimanded them. "Hey! Behave yourselves. You're going to start something."

"Is everyone here ready to start!?" The announcer, Max, asked into the microphone. "Let me hear you cheer!"

Rico pushed 8-Bit back to normal in his chair as the crowd gave a resounding cheer.

"Glad to hear it!" Max grinned. "Before we get to the guts and glory of this event, I'd like to welcome back our opening act- Spectacular Stu!"

There he was, the top of the ramp. The spotlight made sure you wouldn't miss him. Rico rolled his eye as cheers resparked.

"If you were here last time, you'll know he took a nasty dive and got wrecked. But he's back and rollin' as smooth as ever!" Max assured them. "So without further ado, our very own Crash Robot!"

The Stuntdevil waved, pumping the crowd up even further. He spun in place, and geared up to rocket down the ramp.

He left tire marks on the top with a screech, and his engines revved. He had to pick up enough speed to make the jump through a lit ring, and over on the other ramp to make a loop.

Stu soared through the air and twisted through the fired-up hoop.

Even Rico had to admit that his aim was impressive. 8-Bit leaned in with awe as Stu stuck the landing on the second wooden ramp.

Oh, but wait-! Red flames trailed behind him, right on his cape, and traveled higher.

Stu looked back upon hearing the starting jeers of the audience. It was a good indicator of when something went wrong. "U-uh-oh..." he muttered to himself. He started to reach at the burning fabric to try and remove it, but he began to veer.

Stu began to panic. Was it more important to remove the flames and complete the loop, or get it off before it reached his main body-?

He didn't have time to decide. Stu made it up halfway through the first half, but was too far off-center and he flew right off the track.

He flailed, feeling the flames crawl up even further even as he began to fall.

He faceplanted, skidding and rolling a good amount of distance. At least the fire was put out.

"Ha, wow! That must be a world record of eating dirt!" He picked out from the crowd.

Cheers...for him..

His blue lens flickered and gave out.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

"Yes! There we go!" His vision flickered on and he saw Max over him. "Up and at 'em, Stu! There's someone who wants to greet you outside. He insisted, and I gotta go now. Careful, because you aren't really fixed yet. I'm up next with Surge, catch ya' later!" she caught him up, and waved bye as she practically flew out the door.

Stu sat up slowly, still feeling his processors warm up. Max and Surge's show was the third act. Ugh...

Wait. Someone wanted to see him? A fan?

He hopped up from where he lay. He glanced at the mirror on the way, stopped in his tracks. No, no, not presentable at all! His clothes were burnt.

The bot rolled back to the mirror and changed into a different suit as swiftly as he could.

White suit, red cape. He looked dashing.

Stu rolled to the door, and paused briefly. Great first impression. He flung the door open.

"H-h-how's it go-o-going, champ?" He asked gleefully, before seeing that it was.. another robot. Oh. Not what he was expecting. And one that looked similar to himself too. Wait, wasn't he... Rico?

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Stu looked at him blankly. That was it? Just a question? He looked around. Well, a fan's a fan. "L-l-looking for an autograph? Advice?" Stu laughed, and spun once. "No free pho-o-oo-photographs." He said.

Rico looked at the bot in concern. "You're sad..." he pointed out.

Stu jolted back. "Wh-at?"

"Blue Visor." Was the blunt response.

"Hahahaha. B-b-buddy. This," Stu pointed at himself. "Is blue tin-ti-tinted. Ever her-heard of fshh-fashion before?"

Rico was in disbelief. "Then explain the broken regulator for your voice box?"

Stu's eye narrowed at the word broken. "R-ru-de. I cou-ouUol-cou-ou..." Stu stopped himself, feeling...just horrible. He could handle the jibes included in a cheering crowd. But being picked on like this was just plain cruel. "N-n-ot ev-everyone can b-be as lul-lucky as you, can th-they?"

Rico blinked. "What do you mean?"

Stu rolled his eye. "Ric-Co. The ro-r-robot just adored by every-everybody. All you-ou had to do was wal-wa-walk up here a-nd the ress-st is histo-ory."

Rico shook his head. "Even if that were important to this situation, I worked hard to make friends... But that isn't important right now. We're discussing you." He reminded. "You can make them stop putting up so much hazards. Or walk out. They can't force you to stay."

"I cho-oo-ose to, Dummy." Stu griped.

Color him shocked. "Why?"

"They love me." Stu said. "Now sc-scram before I ca-call se-see-security on you."

The bot couldn't wrap his head around that. Love? Did he not hear the rude comments? The laughs and jabs? Being used? He couldn't even begin to imagine Brock and 8-Bit treating him like that and seeing it as praise.

You can't help those who don't want to be... but Rico didn't want to leave without any indication of getting through to him at least somewhat.

He stepped forward with his arms outstretched and pulled him in for a hug.

Stu froze, surprised. He couldn't process anything right now. He just stood there, being hugged for the first time.

After seconds of silence, Rico pulled away. "I'll leave now. We should keep in touch. If you want." He suggested.

"....I-if I c-can find t-ti-time for you, buddy." Stu shrugged. "I'm a v-very busy bot." He rolled backwards to enter his room, and shut the door.

Rico sighed. He's tried his best. If Stu truly wanted help, he would have to take the next step.

On the other side, Stu didn't know how to feel. He wheeled slowly across the room, and caught a glimpse of the mirror. He rolled over and looked at himself. He was happy with his role. Happy.

...Just the same, he could grace that fanbot with an appearance every so often. Make his day. That... sounded nice.

[drkcnry67]

title:  Please Don’t Make Me Do This

kink square filled: Knife Play

dark square filled: Knife Play

Heaven & Hell square filled: Demon!Dean

ship: Demon!Dean x reader

rating: 14+

tags: major character death, forced knife play, 

summery (if applicable): its a surprise….

word count (if applicable):

created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo 

also this is for a request brought in by @hawaiianohana15 

A/N: please dont shoot me, but cas doesnt actually stay in heaven for what goes down in this story. im sorry for what im gonna put everyone through. i know for me ive put off writing about this particular thing cause it still gives me nightmares. 

tag: @sweetness47 @alexis-m-kruger​

this was possibly the hardest event of your entire life, the hardest day of your life. the day you witnessed the love of your life get murdered on the eve after your engagement. 

you hadnt the heart to send every single person you had invited a letter saying the wedding was cancelled, hell you didnt have the heart o do anything except sit in your old room and listen to all of Dean’s favorites on repeat. 

after about 4 hours Sam had gotten very very concerned, so he made you some coffee and made you up a plate of food and brought it into your room. the sight he saw when he walked inside was something that made him place the food and drink on your dresser and come engulf you in a huge hug. 

course Dean and Sam wanted to take down Metatron, but of course that didnt go as well as expected for it was then that Metatron stabbed Dean. long story short told to you personally through Sam’s sobs… 

Dean had gotten hold of the first blade again after being bruised and beaten badly in a mortal kombat fight type deal with Metatron.

Metatron stabbing Dean through the heart with an angel blade just as Sam came round the corner and Dean of course turned around. 

Sam helped Dean off the ground and tried to make it out of the warehouse but Dean coughed, said he was proud of them and then breathed his last.

Sam had called out for Cas in a loud scream of pain. about 5 minutes later Cas appeared and became terribly horrified at the sight before him. 

Cas: “what happened?”

Sam: “Metatron killed him, we have to get home.. back to the bunker, to YN she needs to know but no one else can… can you get us and the impala back in one shot or is it needed in 2 trips…”

Cas: “it can be done in 1 shot but how will you tell YN… wont she be crushed?”

that was when Cas realized that Sam was gonna tell you after they got back to the bunker… sam was gonna tell you what happened, tell you that Dean died like  hero… that he went down fighting and that his last thoughts werent of her but he knew he loved you.

Cas: “look Sam i know that YN and Dean were a thing but there is something i have to tell you… about their relationship… but she doesnt know, neither of them did… you can’t tell her…”

Sam now intrigued finds the strength to look away from his brothers corpse. Cas took a deep breath watching as Sam now sat looking at him.

Sam: “cant tell her what?”

Cas: “she and Dean fullfilled the prophecy that Heaven spoke over them, they conceived a child a week before the death of a winchester at the hands of Metatron.”

Sam: “YN’s pregnant?”

Cas: “yes, but there is nothing else that can be done here, lets take this show back to the bunker and see if there is anything that can be done about Dean… ill take us all straight to his room, then ill stay here while you go talk to YN before she finds out on her own about Dean…”

Cas teleports Dean and Sam plus himself back to Deans room in the bunker. you were in the library researching a way to get rid of Metatron that would actually be most effective. you didnt hear the boys talking in Deans room. however you only had this feeling like something wasn’t right. 

it stayed with you heavily as you sat there pouring through the books and every page seemed to make time go by alot slower than it actually was… it wasnt until you flipped the page again that you heard your name being called. this made your head snap up…

you went around the corner and Saw Sam walking towards you… 

Sam: “hey squirt!”

You looked around and didnt see Dean, didnt see your man. you turned your gaze back to Sam who walked closer to you…

YN: “where’s Dean?”

Sam: “YN he was hurt badly… there was an accident, it was a bad one… before i let you see him you need to know he might not come back from this one alive… or if alive he wont be himself… the first blade really did a number on him. but his last concious thoughts were of you… YN he wasnt breathing when Cas got to us… Cas is with him now trying to figure this out, but so far no luck…”

YN: “i have to see his body…”

Sam stepped immediately in front of you stopping your entry to the hallway.

YN: “get out of my way Sam… i have to see his body…”

Sam: “no cause if you go in there your not gonna be able to unsee that…”

YN: “there has to be something we can do…”

Sam: “we will find a way but for now lets leave him alone…”

you went back too the library and cracked a bottle of whiskey… Sam stood around the corner for a few minutes and watched you slowly crumble apart… 

Sam went back to talk to Cas…

Cas: “ive healed his major wounds and slowed the death process… how did she take it…”

Sam: “she has started to drink the whiskey… i dont think she will come back from this…”

Cas: “well lets go make sure she isnt gonna do something stupid…”

Sam & Cas take one more glance at Dean’s body before heading out to the library to find you on the phone just kinda out of their hearing patterns.. it was only but a while later that Crowley texted you that he was outside the bunker…

you went to the door and let him inside… you walked down the stairs with Crowley at your tail… both Sam and Cas stood taking defensive position…

Sam: “Squirt what is he doing here?”

You finished walking down the stairs before you answered…

YN: “he is here to help me save Dean… he says he can save him… ergo that is whats going to happen…”

Cas: “dont do this, we cant trust him…”

Crowley: “look ok i have a soft spot for YN and Dean they have become my new favorite couple… but when word got out downstairs about Metatron having killed Dean. i knew it would be only a matter of time before i got a call from YN, but i also knew i might or might not be able to help.. YN show me where the body is… then ill need a while alone with it… for the way this should go may or may not come with alot of side effects…”

you led Crowley to Dean’s room, opening the door this was your first glance at Deans body… this was the only time other than not but 6 years before when you had lost Dean… to your dismay this time looked much much worse.

YN: “crowley do what you have to… just make sure he comes back to me in one piece…”

Crowley: “ill do my best and let me be the first to say congratulatons!”

you left the room wondering what the hell he meant, but still made your way back to the library… you sat on the couch and waited, waited patiently…

—————————

Crowley stands beside Dean placing the first blade in Dean’s right hand and placing both on his chest. 

Crowley: “listen to me Dean Winchester, what you’re feeling right now, it’s not death. It’s life, a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And by the way your going to be a father, now lets go take a howl at the moon.”

—————————-

something stirred, you felt it, you felt the house shake, the entire bunker shook with a violent power… it wasnt but a few moments later that the power went out in the entire bunker… no sound could be heard but something inside you stirred, something felt new, arisen if you would… 

YN: “Sam, Cas are you guys okay?”

Sam and Cas are at your sides immediately! 

Cas: “i dont know but i cant leave my power isnt working…”

Sam: “YN you looked a little stunned a few moments ago… what did you feel?”

You didnt know how to answer that, it was a very strange feeling but being bonded with Dean made things easier. during hunts and stake outs… but now it felt like something went horribly wrong… crowley did however say that there may be side effects… 

YN: “i think whatever Crowley did worked but i dont feel normal Dean i feel a much darker force… if that is why the power went out then we need to lock this place down… now and we need to prepare for the worst… lock it down nothing gets in and nothing gets out…”

you, Sam and Cas all armed yourselves, going down the halls till the tri-fork in the hall… each of you took a hall… Cas came across nothing he stayed near the armory for a few minutes to make sure Dean wouldnt be able to easily access it if he came that way… Sam made it down his hall way to the garage, but obviously with the security locked down and the power outage the garage wouldnt be a good escape route… 

you went down the bedroom hallway, the emergency red lights going down the hallway made it to your room, checked it once and cleared it of being offended… then sam’s room along with Cas’ room…. 

the room at the end of the hall, the one room where you didnt think anything was wrong… the one room where the closer you got the more anger and pain you felt… before you could fully encrouch on the room, the door flung off its hinges… you ducked into the darkened bathroom… 

Demon!Dean: “Sammy, YN, Castiel! where is everyone to greet the brother who has come back from the dead? YN baby come give daddy a kiss…”

Dean now walking towards the bathroom slowly, now sniffs the air… he suddenly becomes ravenous for the being who holds the smell of pumpkin pie. the closer he got to the bathroom, the stronger the smell got. 

Demon!Dean: “come on out Baby.. i dont want to hurt you, but i will if i have to… come on out baby… dont you want to celebrate with me about our child… oh yes i know all about that… you can thank Crowley for that… now im gonna count to 3 if you dont show yourself by the time i get to 3, im gonna hurt you baby, i dont want to but i will…1…”

you didnt know what to do, so you stood there behind the door and didnt realize that you were starting to sweat badly your gun was slipping… before you could even react your gun fell to the ground…

Demon!Dean: “ah so you want to have a bit of bathroom fun hmm… well daddy brought a fun little tool… now lets play…”

with that Demon!Dean stalked into the bathroom forcefully pulling the door shut as he now stood there with you in the creepy red lighting, he stood there with his pocket knife. 

YN: “please dont do this, you dont want to hurt me i know you dont… for the sake of our child… please… i didnt know about my being pregnant D… im just finding out about this… look ok it tore me up to see your body like that, so i called Crowley… i knew when the power went out that you had come back… but i didnt expec…”

before you could say another word, his hand covered your mouth… he gently yet firmly ran the knife over your skin, he pressed down in certain tender spots, like your forearms, your thighs, your chest, as well as your cheeks. before stopping at your neck to lean in to sniff your aroma.. 

Demon!Dean: “you know babe, i never pictured myself as a father… i just realized i never told you what i did in Hell the first time i died… i tortured people, i tortured souls… these people didnt deserve it, but i didnt care, i liked it… now i think i’ll torture you similar to them…”

at that moment with lightning speed he ran the knife through all your clothes till you were standing in your Bra and panties. this made you shiver since it wasnt the man you fell in love with standing before you doing this to you. 

at that moment you felt the knife he was holding go into your skin on your thigh, you buckled at the pain, yet Demon!Dean just laughed with amusement. he ran his hands over your body, feeling you tense and un-tense beneath his touch. 

Demon!Dean: “i still have enough sense to know not to fuck a pregnant woman… but that doesnt mean i cant make you bleed…”

before he could finish cutting you in a few more places, the sound of your name came ringing through the halls. 

Sam: “cas do you see that?”

Cas looks straight ahead at the door on the floor…

Cas: “does that mean he is back?”

Sam: “yes but he doesnt have the strength normally to kick in these door which are reinforced with iron… he would have to…”

thats when it hit Sam like a sack of bricks… the shocked look on his face now said everything he connected the dots and soon realized that whereever Dean was you would be too…

Sam: “Dean or whatever you call yourself.. show yourself now…”

then he turned to Cas and in a low whisper adressed him.

Sam: “ok Cas go down the hall and hide around the corner as soon as he shows himself ill keep his gaze fixed on me, use your teleportation to get directly behind him… go…”

Cas ran to where Sam said but heard the same not so distant voice Sam soon did…

Demon!Dean: “ill be out in a second brother, im just taking a leak… then ill come out and talk…”

Demon!Dean finished making you bleed some more watching your body slide down the wall, weak from blood loss as he opened the bathroom door and exited…

Demon!Dean: “hey Sammy… come give your big brother a hug…”

Sam started to slowly back up seeing the blood covering Dean’s hands and clothes… 

Sam: “where’s YN?”

Demon!Dean: “i wouldnt know your the first one ive seen…”

Sam: “then whose blood are you covered in?”

Demon!Dean: “i found a family of rats and slaughtered them… why do you look so scared bro?”

Sam: “thats not rats blood is it?”

Demon!Dean could only bring off a dark smile… as he followed Sam down the hall and away from the bathroom… Cas took his opportunity to come out from around the corner and go towards the bathroom… where he found you… he took off his trench coat and laid it over you…

Cas: “what did he do to you?”

YN: “he called it knifeplay… i have no idea why he did this but he needs something… he needs a good angelic exorcism…”

Cas: “what do you have in mind?”

you explained to Cas that first you needed to get into some clean clothes of some kind and clean up some of this blood… Cas went to your room and grabbed one of your satin gowns… 

Cas came back seeing you limping… he helped steady you while you got dressed… then he took your arm with his hand… he smiled lightly and dove deep into steadying you before helping you into the direction that he watched Demon!Dean & Sam go in… 

he made sure you were alright before he took off to get into his position… slowly but steadily you made your way down the hall… to the sound of running footsteps and the sound of something breaking…

Demon!Dean: “Sam come on lets not play these games… why do you hide from your older brother…”

you steadied yourself and held the colt up high…

YN: “Demonic force that resides within Dean Winchester… i address the entity within thee… please dont make me do this…”

Demon!Dean turns to face you slowly after stopping in his tracks…

Demon!Dean: “YN baby i see you have managed to get up off the floor and clean yourself up… darling you really should be more careful with that, since when did i give you permission to touch that gun…”

YN: “you didnt i took it from your hiding place when i got up off the floor… you need to make sure that you pick better hiding spots…”

Demon!Dean: “and you need to make sure not to snoop…”

YN: “dont make me do this…”

you stayed tall and strong keeping the Colt trained on Dean…

Demon!Dean: “now now babe put the gun down… put it down or take your shot…”

you started to slowly put the gun down but then he charged towards you, Cas came out behind Dean and wrapped his arms around him from behind… 

you took your shot, you shot Dean while he was in the arms of Cas, you watched between Cas’ angelic grace and the bullet from the colt the demonic energy that was within Dean now blinked away… now within the eyes of the man before you, blinked between the demonic force within and the Dean you fell in love with.

Cas: “ready YN im gonna keep holding onto him while you enact the final part of your plan… anytime now…”

that was your cue, you tossed the colt in the air running towards the man who stole your heart a thousand times over… you kissed him, he didnt react right away it was about 5 minutes into the kiss that he started to kiss you back…

thats when Cas let go, it made you feel normal to be back in Dean’s embrace… once the kiss broke you took him over to the security station you had set up and showed him all of what happened… 

Dean: “i know that i wasn’t myself but i hurt you, i hurt the one person who means the world to me… i’m so sorry YN… you don’t deserve a guy like me… i’m a worthless piece of shit… to top it all off, we are expecting a baby… we are expecting i don’t know if i’m ready to be a father…”

YN: “i know your gonna do wonderful as a father, and i also know that when i saw you basically dead, it tore me apart, i dipped so far into the whiskey that i almost blacked out, if the power hadnt gone out, i wouldn’t be awake right now…”

Cas and Sam come back into the room making sure that it was safe first… then Sam took it upon himself to hand Dean his jacket, to which made you look with confusion but you didnt make anything of it.

Sam: “good luck buddy…”

you grab 3 glasses & the whiskey, while the charade continues… but wasnt expecting what happened next…

Dean: “dont touch your glass of whiskey yet…. YN there is something i wish to discuss with you first…”

You stared at Dean curiousity swimming in your mind… Dean took a small swig of his whiskey before he continued to speak…

Dean: “YN in all my years together never have i ever been so amazed by anyone. you’re strong, brave, talented, one of the best with a machete ive ever seen, i never would have seen myself being with someone who is as lovely and smart as you… YN i know we have just been through hell and back and both need a really good shower, but will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me and making me the luckiest man alive…”

YN: “yes yes yes…”

thats when Dean opened the ring box out of his jacket and slid the expensive but not expensive ring on your finger… the toasting lasted for 30 minutes before the cuts on your body cloted, and the blood on Dean crusted, but it was about time when you spoke again…

YN: “Dean no offense but you need a shower…”

Dean: “funny darling i could say the exact same thing about you….”

[heads-in-the-clouds-spacecadet]

When asked to write a daily diary for anxiety management.

Here are a few days example....

Sunday 24th 

Mood/anxiety = numb. 

Additional meds =8mg of diazipam.

My whole body aches yet it shouldn't. My stomach is growling yet i feel physically sick. 

Things i ask myself....

Q.1 Will i leave my safe space, weighted blanket & mountain of pillows?

A.1 NO. 

Q.2 Will i manage my yoga routine

A.2 NO

Reasons....Why

I feel exhausted even though ive not been outside since Thursday. I just want the aching to subside the pain to leave. My jaw is clenched closed making eating an ordeal. I know this needs to be done. 

The dread of what passive aggressive message/s ill receive today either in person or written either way im struggling to motivate myself to move.

The Internet has been blocked for nearly a wk now. But i just let it slide as the saying goes choose your arguements "wifi is not the hill i want to die on" quote from TBBT. I hear Luke (my brother) is now in his bedroom and his door is closed. He has been banging around the house sending passive aggressive messages (sms) since 4am. My belongings that i left downstairs were thrown into my room. I'm nervous to leave my room till i know he is asleep. 

Flashback/negative thoughts....

1. How can my baby brother be an emotional manipulator. 

2. Last time i had to justify my everymove i was in Portugal in a very bad relationship. 

*****Ways im looking to excuse his behaviour. Find the cause to my sudden crash of low mood aka depression with a nice battle of anxiety.

---Logically i know its not the same. 

---Emotionally it hurts the same. 

The way he looks at me with disgust, resentment & impatience is the trigger. I realise this. How someone you love can make you feel this way. 

Solution: i decide to find a solution to the sudden conflict of money and i know there is a receipt in the car. I go to the normal place the keys are kept and theyre no where to be found. I look in all the obvious logical places they  could be and realise theyre hidden by my loving brother. His Reasons, 1-to stop me  buying shit (his words). 2. He has decided its his house, his car so therefore his rules. (Its all my mums btw)

As im downstairs i notice the kitchen is a mess. Pots all over from a feast Luke cooked up the night before. Or should i say 2am. 

So i feel defeated. Ive basically been cleaning non stop everytime i use a room as per gov guidelines and he just doesnt seem to comprehend the severity of the situation. 

I decide i need to eat. So i opt for Shreddies with Oat Milk (Luke has a serious milk allergy to the milk proteins in cows milk so im not fussed about milk and am happy to use alternatives) topped with vanilla soya yogurt, bannana, a few cranberries, 3 strawberries, sultanas and crushed Almonds. My logical brain is telling me eat well as we are not leaving the bedroom again unless desperate. 

I send a few messages to the family whats app (Luke refuses to be a part of this) and receive encouraging and support in return. Everyone is struggling in their own way so i appreciate having a small outlet between us all.

After food i sleep finally. 

Trying now to Ready myself for round 2 which i know is coming.

My mum calls i dont want to answer but i do. I explain the situation. She knows, she has dealt with his angry behaviour since he was 11yrs old. She stated she is coming to visit Tuesday as per new gov guidelines and we will meet in the park. She then asks me to pass the phone to Luke which i pointblank refuse. Im not ready for round 2 yet. Especially since he has his own phone he is just not answering making everyone worry about him but he just resents it. Its safe to say im proud i refused to do something. Gold star award ⭐

Monday 25th

Mood/Anxiety -  still no change from yesterday but i decide i have to force myself to move. Wash, clean and pack the additional things my mum has requested. 

Additional meds - i decided against taking anything today as i need to be clear headed for my appointment Tues and obvs my mums visit.

I check the weather see its a nice day decide washing is task 1. I set a bath running (multi tasking saving time from all the free time) and head downstairs to pop the washing machine on. Before i left my room i checked my phone for messages i have one from my mum telling me she has had words with Luke and that he needs to basically deal with the resentment in a more positive way. 

This explains all the banging and loud music yesterday early eve. He decided to actually clean. 

Anyhow I head downstairs. Kitchen is clean, messages all wiped from the black board. 

I decide i must try and communicate with Luke as we cant take the conflict with us to the park it isnt fair to our mum. 

I can hear him moving so send a sms message asking if he wants anything in the oven. No response. ***He did finally get out of bed at 3pm so a peaceful day so far. 

I decide food is required. I opt for protein soya burgers x2 with Spinach, tomatos, avacado, sultanas, almond pieces and some crumpets. I sit in the garden to eat.

All washing is out and drying but im to anxiety ridden and unmotivated to enjoy the sunshine. 

I head back to my room to sort bits for my mum and throw away my origami collection. It was over taking my room and again causing conflict. 

Lukes awake!!!. I decide to say hello. So far so good. He decides to make himself lunch and throws a fit because i ate a £0.45 avocado. I walk away as i know he is just venting and i need to not start the circle of negative thoughts or interactions. This is rewarded with resentment. Luke suddenly decides to do his own washing and cut the grass. Which means my washing is in his way. Before he even starts i am pulling in whats dry mainly because i want to go back to bed and need my bedsheets but also because he wont care if my washing turns green or is damaged. To my delight my sheets are dry but my pjs etc need another 30mins so i leave them whilst i go and make my bed. 

Im bellowed at about washing as Luke needs the line. So i head down stairs to reteive the rest of my belongings. 

Self soothing thoughts...

Im walking on eggshells trying not to provoke the beast and i need to keep going. Focus on my achievements. I left my room. I cleaned myself, my clothing and my pillow fort which has been my safe zone for the past 4days. 

Deep down thought i am disappointed as i know isolation and distancing is not a long turn solution as the yrs pass im becoming more and more isolated and lonely. 

Im downstairs again and i ask Luke if he wants anything popping in the oven as i was having toast. He requested 2 burgers and chips but on seperate trays as he was hungry. Easy to do popped into the oven. 40mins later chips are cooked he is plating up and all he says is "why have you cooked so many chips, clearly we now live in a household of wastefulness". 

This was the turning point for me id had enough for 1day and just told him to give it a rest and went to my room. 

Im dozing with Big Bang on in the backround and Luke is banging on my door. Mums on the phone. Confirming arrangements for tomorrow. I say a few oks with the occasional nod. 

I start packing the bits n bobs my mum has asked for and carry then downstairs so theyre ready for the car tomorrow am. 

Its PJs and bed time. Luke has other ideas. He is awake and up and about at 4.30am. Having a bath at 5am, doing weights after his bath at 6am then leaves in the car at 7am. He is back around 8am banging has a shower then decides to leave again in the car. He is meant to be house-bound until July 1st. This in itself causes me anxiety as i cant handle watching another member of my family die in front of my eyes. 

Thoughts...

Yes this is VERY dramatic. STOP IT BRAIN!

Take precautions all will be ok. 

Tuesday 26th

Mood/Anxiety = No change 

Additional meds = 4mg diazipam but late afternoon as i couldnt stop shaking and fidgeting.

My mum is coming to visit. Im trying not to think about the fact Luke is out of the house. 

We are having a picnic social distancing style. 

We head to the coop as Luke has decided even after knowing our mum all his life never be on time, we have to be early. I buy Costa coffee, fresh bread, hummus, bananas, diet coke and some biscuits the nature valley ones theyre really good. Luke doesnt go into the shop I think at least he is listening to some rules. He rolls his eyes as i spray the shopping with dettol spray and use the alcohol hand sanitizer for my hands and door handle etc. I just tell him its how it needs to be done.

We find a perfect parking spot under a bunch of trees. I notice that all the trees are trimmed in a very even shelf across the bottom. It looked like it was designed perfectly for people to walk straight onto the park from the car park without having to fight with tree branches or go around.  But in actual fact its the deer. They eat the lower leaves this made me smile and relax for a moment. WIN.

My mum is late so im nervous that she is 

1. Stuck somewhere (over reaction)

2. Lost (over reaction)

3. Just running late (normal reaction) 

Im a tad fidgety as im aware i have an appointment in 2hrs. Hurry up MOTHER...

I ponder about work and whether or not ill still have a job to return too. Had an email this am stating theyre cutting 200jobs from the team i work in. So not sure if thats a good thing or not. But its also increasing my anxiety as ive read the email and now have a burning desire to do the research to see what my probability of keeping my job will be. Before my brain can go on a major tangent my mum arrives. 

Shes brought Oscar (her poodle) he is so excited to see me. And the big hairy fluff ball  gave me the biggest snuggles. He has a major Covid hairdoo. My mum doesnt hug me which hurts but i know she cant. 

Picnic time. We sit in the middle.of a field away from everyone. Social distancing 10/10. My mum has made me my favourite cakes, rock buns. (Apparently these are a northern thing) but im feeling the love. Its fairly chilled only 1 disagreement with Luke over blinkin avocados.

Im clock checking and aware of impending appointment, im a little (understated) nervous because ive not had positive relationships with therapists or doctors in the past. 

[legion1993]

Please Don’t Make Me Do This

title:  Please Don’t Make Me Do This

kink square filled: Knife Play

dark square filled: Knife Play

Heaven & Hell square filled: Demon!Dean

ship: Demon!Dean x reader

rating: 14+

tags: major character death, forced knife play, 

summery (if applicable): its a surprise….

word count (if applicable):

created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo 

also this is for a request brought in by @hawaiianohana15 

A/N: please dont shoot me, but cas doesnt actually stay in heaven for what goes down in this story. im sorry for what im gonna put everyone through. i know for me ive put off writing about this particular thing cause it still gives me nightmares. 

tag: @sweetness47 @alexis-m-kruger

spn kink bingo masterlist  Dark bingo masterlist  heaven and hell masterlist

this was possibly the hardest event of your entire life, the hardest day of your life. the day you witnessed the love of your life get murdered on the eve after your engagement. 

you hadnt the heart to send every single person you had invited a letter saying the wedding was cancelled, hell you didnt have the heart o do anything except sit in your old room and listen to all of Dean’s favorites on repeat. 

after about 4 hours Sam had gotten very very concerned, so he made you some coffee and made you up a plate of food and brought it into your room. the sight he saw when he walked inside was something that made him place the food and drink on your dresser and come engulf you in a huge hug. 

course Dean and Sam wanted to take down Metatron, but of course that didnt go as well as expected for it was then that Metatron stabbed Dean. long story short told to you personally through Sam’s sobs... 

Dean had gotten hold of the first blade again after being bruised and beaten badly in a mortal kombat fight type deal with Metatron.

Metatron stabbing Dean through the heart with an angel blade just as Sam came round the corner and Dean of course turned around. 

Sam helped Dean off the ground and tried to make it out of the warehouse but Dean coughed, said he was proud of them and then breathed his last.

Sam had called out for Cas in a loud scream of pain. about 5 minutes later Cas appeared and became terribly horrified at the sight before him. 

Cas: “what happened?”

Sam: “Metatron killed him, we have to get home.. back to the bunker, to YN she needs to know but no one else can... can you get us and the impala back in one shot or is it needed in 2 trips...”

Cas: “it can be done in 1 shot but how will you tell YN... wont she be crushed?”

that was when Cas realized that Sam was gonna tell you after they got back to the bunker... sam was gonna tell you what happened, tell you that Dean died like  hero... that he went down fighting and that his last thoughts werent of her but he knew he loved you.

Cas: “look Sam i know that YN and Dean were a thing but there is something i have to tell you... about their relationship... but she doesnt know, neither of them did... you can’t tell her...”

Sam now intrigued finds the strength to look away from his brothers corpse. Cas took a deep breath watching as Sam now sat looking at him.

Sam: “cant tell her what?”

Cas: “she and Dean fullfilled the prophecy that Heaven spoke over them, they conceived a child a week before the death of a winchester at the hands of Metatron.”

Sam: “YN’s pregnant?”

Cas: “yes, but there is nothing else that can be done here, lets take this show back to the bunker and see if there is anything that can be done about Dean... ill take us all straight to his room, then ill stay here while you go talk to YN before she finds out on her own about Dean...”

Cas teleports Dean and Sam plus himself back to Deans room in the bunker. you were in the library researching a way to get rid of Metatron that would actually be most effective. you didnt hear the boys talking in Deans room. however you only had this feeling like something wasn’t right. 

it stayed with you heavily as you sat there pouring through the books and every page seemed to make time go by alot slower than it actually was... it wasnt until you flipped the page again that you heard your name being called. this made your head snap up...

you went around the corner and Saw Sam walking towards you... 

Sam: “hey squirt!”

You looked around and didnt see Dean, didnt see your man. you turned your gaze back to Sam who walked closer to you...

YN: “where’s Dean?”

Sam: “YN he was hurt badly... there was an accident, it was a bad one... before i let you see him you need to know he might not come back from this one alive... or if alive he wont be himself... the first blade really did a number on him. but his last concious thoughts were of you... YN he wasnt breathing when Cas got to us... Cas is with him now trying to figure this out, but so far no luck...”

YN: “i have to see his body...”

Sam stepped immediately in front of you stopping your entry to the hallway.

YN: “get out of my way Sam... i have to see his body...”

Sam: “no cause if you go in there your not gonna be able to unsee that...”

YN: “there has to be something we can do...”

Sam: “we will find a way but for now lets leave him alone...”

you went back too the library and cracked a bottle of whiskey... Sam stood around the corner for a few minutes and watched you slowly crumble apart... 

Sam went back to talk to Cas...

Cas: “ive healed his major wounds and slowed the death process... how did she take it...”

Sam: “she has started to drink the whiskey... i dont think she will come back from this...”

Cas: “well lets go make sure she isnt gonna do something stupid...”

Sam & Cas take one more glance at Dean’s body before heading out to the library to find you on the phone just kinda out of their hearing patterns.. it was only but a while later that Crowley texted you that he was outside the bunker...

you went to the door and let him inside... you walked down the stairs with Crowley at your tail... both Sam and Cas stood taking defensive position...

Sam: “Squirt what is he doing here?”

You finished walking down the stairs before you answered...

YN: “he is here to help me save Dean... he says he can save him... ergo that is whats going to happen...”

Cas: “dont do this, we cant trust him...”

Crowley: “look ok i have a soft spot for YN and Dean they have become my new favorite couple... but when word got out downstairs about Metatron having killed Dean. i knew it would be only a matter of time before i got a call from YN, but i also knew i might or might not be able to help.. YN show me where the body is... then ill need a while alone with it... for the way this should go may or may not come with alot of side effects...”

you led Crowley to Dean’s room, opening the door this was your first glance at Deans body... this was the only time other than not but 6 years before when you had lost Dean... to your dismay this time looked much much worse.

YN: “crowley do what you have to... just make sure he comes back to me in one piece...”

Crowley: “ill do my best and let me be the first to say congratulatons!”

you left the room wondering what the hell he meant, but still made your way back to the library... you sat on the couch and waited, waited patiently...

---------------------------

Crowley stands beside Dean placing the first blade in Dean’s right hand and placing both on his chest. 

Crowley: “listen to me Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now, it's not death. It's life, a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And by the way your going to be a father, now lets go take a howl at the moon.”

----------------------------

something stirred, you felt it, you felt the house shake, the entire bunker shook with a violent power... it wasnt but a few moments later that the power went out in the entire bunker... no sound could be heard but something inside you stirred, something felt new, arisen if you would... 

YN: “Sam, Cas are you guys okay?”

Sam and Cas are at your sides immediately! 

Cas: “i dont know but i cant leave my power isnt working...”

Sam: “YN you looked a little stunned a few moments ago... what did you feel?”

You didnt know how to answer that, it was a very strange feeling but being bonded with Dean made things easier. during hunts and stake outs... but now it felt like something went horribly wrong... crowley did however say that there may be side effects... 

YN: “i think whatever Crowley did worked but i dont feel normal Dean i feel a much darker force... if that is why the power went out then we need to lock this place down... now and we need to prepare for the worst... lock it down nothing gets in and nothing gets out...”

you, Sam and Cas all armed yourselves, going down the halls till the tri-fork in the hall... each of you took a hall... Cas came across nothing he stayed near the armory for a few minutes to make sure Dean wouldnt be able to easily access it if he came that way... Sam made it down his hall way to the garage, but obviously with the security locked down and the power outage the garage wouldnt be a good escape route... 

you went down the bedroom hallway, the emergency red lights going down the hallway made it to your room, checked it once and cleared it of being offended... then sam’s room along with Cas’ room.... 

the room at the end of the hall, the one room where you didnt think anything was wrong... the one room where the closer you got the more anger and pain you felt... before you could fully encrouch on the room, the door flung off its hinges... you ducked into the darkened bathroom... 

Demon!Dean: “Sammy, YN, Castiel! where is everyone to greet the brother who has come back from the dead? YN baby come give daddy a kiss...”

Dean now walking towards the bathroom slowly, now sniffs the air... he suddenly becomes ravenous for the being who holds the smell of pumpkin pie. the closer he got to the bathroom, the stronger the smell got. 

Demon!Dean: “come on out Baby.. i dont want to hurt you, but i will if i have to... come on out baby... dont you want to celebrate with me about our child... oh yes i know all about that... you can thank Crowley for that... now im gonna count to 3 if you dont show yourself by the time i get to 3, im gonna hurt you baby, i dont want to but i will...1...”

you didnt know what to do, so you stood there behind the door and didnt realize that you were starting to sweat badly your gun was slipping... before you could even react your gun fell to the ground...

Demon!Dean: “ah so you want to have a bit of bathroom fun hmm... well daddy brought a fun little tool... now lets play...”

with that Demon!Dean stalked into the bathroom forcefully pulling the door shut as he now stood there with you in the creepy red lighting, he stood there with his pocket knife. 

YN: “please dont do this, you dont want to hurt me i know you dont... for the sake of our child... please... i didnt know about my being pregnant D... im just finding out about this... look ok it tore me up to see your body like that, so i called Crowley... i knew when the power went out that you had come back... but i didnt expec...”

before you could say another word, his hand covered your mouth... he gently yet firmly ran the knife over your skin, he pressed down in certain tender spots, like your forearms, your thighs, your chest, as well as your cheeks. before stopping at your neck to lean in to sniff your aroma.. 

Demon!Dean: “you know babe, i never pictured myself as a father... i just realized i never told you what i did in Hell the first time i died... i tortured people, i tortured souls... these people didnt deserve it, but i didnt care, i liked it... now i think i’ll torture you similar to them...”

at that moment with lightning speed he ran the knife through all your clothes till you were standing in your Bra and panties. this made you shiver since it wasnt the man you fell in love with standing before you doing this to you. 

at that moment you felt the knife he was holding go into your skin on your thigh, you buckled at the pain, yet Demon!Dean just laughed with amusement. he ran his hands over your body, feeling you tense and un-tense beneath his touch. 

Demon!Dean: “i still have enough sense to know not to fuck a pregnant woman... but that doesnt mean i cant make you bleed...”

before he could finish cutting you in a few more places, the sound of your name came ringing through the halls. 

Sam: “cas do you see that?”

Cas looks straight ahead at the door on the floor...

Cas: “does that mean he is back?”

Sam: “yes but he doesnt have the strength normally to kick in these door which are reinforced with iron... he would have to...”

thats when it hit Sam like a sack of bricks... the shocked look on his face now said everything he connected the dots and soon realized that whereever Dean was you would be too...

Sam: “Dean or whatever you call yourself.. show yourself now...”

then he turned to Cas and in a low whisper adressed him.

Sam: “ok Cas go down the hall and hide around the corner as soon as he shows himself ill keep his gaze fixed on me, use your teleportation to get directly behind him... go...”

Cas ran to where Sam said but heard the same not so distant voice Sam soon did...

Demon!Dean: “ill be out in a second brother, im just taking a leak... then ill come out and talk...”

Demon!Dean finished making you bleed some more watching your body slide down the wall, weak from blood loss as he opened the bathroom door and exited...

Demon!Dean: “hey Sammy... come give your big brother a hug...”

Sam started to slowly back up seeing the blood covering Dean’s hands and clothes... 

Sam: “where’s YN?”

Demon!Dean: “i wouldnt know your the first one ive seen...”

Sam: “then whose blood are you covered in?”

Demon!Dean: “i found a family of rats and slaughtered them... why do you look so scared bro?”

Sam: “thats not rats blood is it?”

Demon!Dean could only bring off a dark smile... as he followed Sam down the hall and away from the bathroom... Cas took his opportunity to come out from around the corner and go towards the bathroom... where he found you... he took off his trench coat and laid it over you...

Cas: “what did he do to you?”

YN: “he called it knifeplay... i have no idea why he did this but he needs something... he needs a good angelic exorcism...”

Cas: “what do you have in mind?”

you explained to Cas that first you needed to get into some clean clothes of some kind and clean up some of this blood... Cas went to your room and grabbed one of your satin gowns... 

Cas came back seeing you limping... he helped steady you while you got dressed... then he took your arm with his hand... he smiled lightly and doove deep into steadying you before helping you into the direction that he watched Demon!Dean & Sam go in... 

he made sure you were alright before he took off to get into his position... slowly but steadily you made your way down the hall... to the sound of running footsteps and the sound of something breaking...

Demon!Dean: “Sam come on lets not play these games... why do you hide from your older brother...”

you steadied yourself and held the colt up high...

YN: “Demonic force that resides within Dean Winchester... i address the entity within thee... please dont make me do this...”

Demon!Dean turns to face you slowly after stopping in his tracks...

Demon!Dean: “YN baby i see you have managed to get up off the floor and clean yourself up... darling you really should be more careful with that, since when did i give you permission to touch that gun...”

YN: “you didnt i took it from your hiding place when i got up off the floor... you need to make sure that you pick better hiding spots...”

Demon!Dean: “and you need to make sure not to snoop...”

YN: “dont make me do this...”

you stayed tall and strong keeping the Colt trained on Dean...

Demon!Dean: “now now babe put the gun down... put it down or take your shot...”

you started to slowly put the gun down but then he charged towards you, Cas came out behind Dean and wrapped his arms around him from behind... 

you took your shot, you shot Dean while he was in the arms of Cas, you watched between Cas’ angelic grace and the bullet from the colt the demonic energy that was within Dean now blinked away... now within the eyes of the man before you, blinked between the demonic force within and the Dean you fell in love with.

Cas: “ready YN im gonna keep holding onto him while you enact the final part of your plan... anytime now...”

that was your cue, you tossed the colt in the air running towards the man who stole your heart a thousand times over... you kissed him, he didnt react right away it was about 5 minutes into the kiss that he started to kiss you back...

thats when Cas let go, it made you feel normal to be back in Dean’s embrace... once the kiss broke you took him over to the security station you had set up and showed him all of what happened... 

Dean: “i know that i wasn’t myself but i hurt you, i hurt the one person who means the world to me... i’m so sorry YN... you don’t deserve a guy like me... i’m a worthless piece of shit... to top it all off, we are expecting a baby... we are expecting i don’t know if i’m ready to be a father...”

YN: “i know your gonna do wonderful as a father, and i also know that when i saw you basically dead, it tore me apart, i dipped so far into the whiskey that i almost blacked out, if the power hadnt gone out, i wouldn’t be awake right now...”

Cas and Sam come back into the room making sure that it was safe first... then Sam took it upon himself to hand Dean his jacket, to which made you look with confusion but you didnt make anything of it.

Sam: “good luck buddy...”

you grab 3 glasses & the whiskey, while the charade continues... but wasnt expecting what happened next...

Dean: “dont touch your glass of whiskey yet.... YN there is something i wish to discuss with you first...”

You stared at Dean curiousity swimming in your mind... Dean took a small swig of his whiskey before he continued to speak...

Dean: “YN in all my years together never have i ever been so amazed by anyone. you’re strong, brave, talented, one of the best with a machete ive ever seen, i never would have seen myself being with someone who is as lovely and smart as you... YN i know we have just been through hell and back and both need a really good shower, but will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me and making me the luckiest man alive...”

YN: “yes yes yes...”

thats when Dean opened the ring box out of his jacket and slid the expensive but not expensive ring on your finger... the toasting lasted for 30 minutes before the cuts on your body cloted, and the blood on Dean crusted, but it was about time when you spoke again...

YN: “Dean no offense but you need a shower...”

Dean: “funny darling i could say the exact same thing about you....”