#evan hansen soulmate au
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You can run but you can’t hide: Chapter 1: Soulmate
(Soft!Dark! Soulmate AU)
Summary: Lloyd Hansen had been told from a young age that he’ll one day find his other half. What they didn’t tell him was that not everyone was as excited as him to find their other half.
Soft!Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Reader
Warnings for the series: noncon/dubcon, rape? just to make sure, age gap, manipulation, sex used as punishment? edging? soft!dark! gonna give you whiplash, forced breeding, breeding kink, language, violence, blood, past abusive/toxic relationship
Warnings for this chapter: language, allusion to past toxic/abusive relationship
A/N: Buckle up, that’s all I have to say. This chapter is a short one.
As always MINORS DNI
Divider by @maysdigitalarts
18+ only and consent banners by @maysdigitalarts
Chapter 1: Soulmate
Soulmate.
What’s a soulmate?
Someone who you’re destined to be with. Someone who completes you. Bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. I don’t need a soulmate to complete me or for them to control me. My mother was better off without one.
My mother’s soulmate, my father, they were in love-wait no, my mom was in love. She would have done anything for him and she did, she still wasn’t enough in his eyes.
Yeah, I wish never to meet my soulmate. I’ve seen firsthand what a soulmate can do to you, the person who’s supposed to “love and protect you”. What my parents had would never be love.
That’s why when I had the chance I fled and never looked back, now 5 years later, I’m happy as can be. I’m alone and happy.
I just have to move to a new town since I've been here for 7 months already. That's not what I normally do, usually, I stay for about 5 months and then on to the next town since it’s unlikely to meet your soulmate or anyone when you just go to 3 places-hotel, a job, a store. It’s been the perfect set-up for the past 5 years.
I don’t have much stuff, so that makes it easier to move from place to place. I’m still packing everything inside my car.
“Just you, me, and the open road”, I tapped the roof of my car after putting the last of my things inside. I never felt anything during any moves before but this time I felt my heart beating abnormally fast, fear maybe? but of what I don’t know.
Getting inside the car, I take a deep breath before starting the engine. What type of job would I find this time? bartender? waitress? A dog sitter? Hopefully my boss this time isn’t a perverted asshole, god just thinking about my time working at the retail store makes my skin crawl. I need to listen to some music.
The sound of Love Her Madly by The Doors playing filled the air in the car.
Don’t you love her madly?
Wanna be her daddy?
Don’t you love her face?
Don’t you love her as she walkin' out the door?
Like she did one thousand times before
I hope she got out of there alive, that is if his love hadn’t killed her already. He was the reason I left not her but that was the price to pay, either I stayed and get punished or run away and survive. I felt the cool air cares my skin as I rolled down my window. The smell of fresh air, sweet sweet freedom.
«5 hours later»
Welcome to Âme soeur
French, huh? That's weird, I had no idea that there were little French towns. I should look up the meaning of it. I should make a rest stop, I've been driving for hours and I feel like sleeping. So I guess Âme soeur it is. Now time to find a motel but it doesn’t look like there are any buildings close by. It looks completely abandoned. Ghostown. Spooky.
Ahh…finally a motel. Not the best looking but it's a motel what do you expect? Getting out of the car, the air felt different, heavy. After locking the car, I made my way to the front desk. A girl wearing the motel uniform sat at the front desk. She had charcoal-colored hair and the dullest blue I'd ever seen. A wall of room keys was behind her.
“Hello, do you have a room available?”, I asked. She just stared at me, like she was trying to figure me out.
“We just have one available”, she plainly said typing away on the computer. She truly looked like she’d rather be anywhere else. “Ok, I’ll take it”, I smiled. She turned to get my room key, and that's when I saw it, for a split sec, a mark on the back of her neck but she turned back just as quickly. Weird. She handed me the room key. As took the room key, she stayed silent. I left with a quick “bye”, I got to my car and opened the trunk to get my things out. I felt goosebumps on the back of my neck, and my bag fell from my hand as I touched the back of my neck. I looked around but shook it off and picked up my bag and the air felt somehow heavier than before. I looked for my room key to see the room number. My heart stopped.
Room 222.
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#soft!dark!lloyd hansen#soulmate au#honey writes#chris evans smut#chris evans fic#chris evans fanfiction#dark!soft!#soft!dark fic#you can run but you can’t hide mini series#llyod hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#lloyd hansen au#chris evans x reader#lloyd hansen fanfiction#lloyd hansen smut#lloyd hansen x female reader
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Stevie BB 200 Followers Celebration Writing Challenge!
Howdy lads~ exciting news to share:
I just reached a 200 follower count on Tumblr 🎉🎉🎉
I kinda can't believe it? Writing is indeed good for my soul. Interacting with y'all on here has helped me with my mental and emotional wellness due to just finding such great community on here. Thank you for giving me the space to write and for following along/supporting in my writing journey 💖
With that spiel spoken, I wanted to host a writing challenge in celebration of this milestone! *squealing because i'm so excited to host*
Stevie BB 200 Followers Celebration Writing Challenge Masterlist
*you'll find all writing submissions and writing requests (answered) at the link above*
You could participate by sending in either:
✨ writing request via my Asks (💙)
and/or
✨ writing submissions (💥).
General Rules:
the challenge will start October 1st until the end of November (flexible on late entries for submissions only💥; let's say till mid-December or so).
I'll read/write for Chris Evans characters, Henry Cavill Characters, and Charlie Hunnam characters [and Bucky Barnes specifically lol] (these are my preferences but if there are other characters that you'd like to bring in, just ask me)!
for writing requests 💙, i will only be accepting requests (2 max/person; pls do not send more than 2 asks!) until the end of November.
for writing submissions 💥, go wild! submit as many as you like!
you can do both (send in a writing request 💙 AND send in a writing submission(s)💥) if you want to; rules still apply for the requests though.
use at least one prompt within your request 💙/submissions💥 from the lists below (but def. go crazy if you wanna use more than one! you don't have to claim any prompts).
works can be inclusive! poc, gender neutral, neurodivergencies, mid size/plus size/curvy readers are encouraged!
No word limits but please use a 'read more' after 200 words
Works can be part of an existing series but must be able to stand on their own
tag me @steviebbboi and use the tags #bbboi200celebration and #steviebbboiwritingchallenge in your entry so i can read/reblog your work! (If I somehow lose sight of your submission, please remind me and I'll take a look at it right away ☺️)
Most important one: Have fun!
How To Play:
✨ You must be 18+ to participate in this challenge!
✨ Choose one (or multiple 😏) BB's:
Chris Evans Characters
Steve Rogers/Captain America
Ransom Drysdale
Ari Levinson
Frank Adler
Curtis Everett
Andy Barber
Hayden/Harvard Hottie
Nick Gant
Jake Jensen
Johnny Storm
Lloyd Hansen
Henry Cavill Characters
Clark Kent
Napoleon Solo
Geralt of Rivia
August Walker
Charlie Hunnam Characters
Jax Teller
Raymond Smith *extra brownie pts if you write about him omg*
King Arthur
Sebastian Stan
Bucky Barnes [he's all by himself im so sorry lmfao 🥹]
✨ Choose one (or more) of the following prompts:
*if you don't want to write smut, you don't have to choose anything from the kinks prompt! feel free to only use the following two prompts :)
soft dom!BB
clothes/naked ratio
size kink
slow and deep 👀
breeding kink (non-pregnancy version)
somnophilia
free use
cockwarming
belly bulge
Squirting
consensual non-con
consensual dub-con
cumeating
creampie
anal/or dp
possessive/or protective manhandling!BB
oral sex
orgasm delay
dumbification
daddy/princess kink
overstimulation
sex pollen
prone bone
cockdrunk
threesome (BB/Reader/BB)
ass/pussy spanking
mild degradation
body worshipping
quickie/don't get caught (public sex, threats of exhibitionism, etc.) 😏
Grouchybb! who is only soft with you
Married and loyal!spouse
A/B/O
lumberjack!bb who is a teddy bear on the inside tho
mob AU
biker AU
soulmate AU
mutual pining/idiots in love
childhood besties to lovers
reformed playboy
professor AU
supernatural/mythical (gods, sirens, werewolves, witches, vampires, ghosts, oh my!)
frenemies to lovers
fwb to lovers
locked in AU/forced proximity
medieval AU
fake dating/relationship
sharing one bed
polar opposites attract
break up and make up
spy AU
meet cute
cowboy AU
gentle recluse!BB
brothers best friend!BB
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Yes, take it, slut"
"It's not that big of a deal."
"God, why do you always do this"
"You're impossible."
"Then I guess we gotta be quiet, huh?"
"We're trapped."
"Shh, you wouldn't want anyone to hear, or do you?"
"You're taking me so well, baby"
"Good girl" *for fem readers; adjust accordingly!*
"Tsk, uh-uh, c'mere, honey"
"You always feel so good around me, baby"
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Here, let me help you."
"Yeah, are you a cockhungry slut, now?"
"I hardly think that that's necessary."
"Don't be a brat, baby."
"Aw, does it feel good right there?"
"I'm sorry!"
"What do you want from me?!"
"I didn't mean to!"
"What do you think you're doing here?"
"Nope. Again."
"Don't worry, I got you."
"Just stay still, there you go."
"Just one more, I promise."
"C'mon, don't you wanna be good?"
"Stay over there!"
"You better hurry up, baby."
"Thaaaat's it, you're doing so well, honey."
"Uhm, I'm not sure that's going to work."
"Please, I'll beg, please!"
"Be honest."
"Be careful there, darlin'."
"Are you okay?"
"Are you sure you wanna go there?"
Scenarios? Any! Go. Wild.
✨ I love reading/writing angst w/HEA, soft dark (nothing too dark though), fluff and SMUT (as you can see w/the many many kinks).
no incest (stepcest is ok if tasteful lol), no infidelity, no watersports, no murder, no gore. if you're unsure if a trope is appropriate, ask me!
if im ever uncomfy with writing something, i will lyk and we can talk more about it to see if we could work with it!
feel free to ask any questions!
i think i got everything!
Have the best time, laddies~ thanks for celebrating with me!
All are welcome to join in the fun! ❣️
Tagging a few mutuals who may be interested but no pressure bbs:
@bigtreefest @mercurial-chuckles @stargazingfangirl18 @yenzys-lucky-charm
@sweater-daddiesdumbdork @buckets-and-trees @hotdamnhunnam @laurfilijames
@autumnrose40 @eloquentlytired @misscherry-26 @stellar-solar-flare
@darsynia @navybrat817
#steviebbboi answers#bbboi200celebration#steviebbboiwritingchallenge#200 followers omgggg#writing challenge#chris evans fanfiction#henry cavill fanfiction#charlie hunnam characters#writing prompts#writing community#writing prompt#writeblr#writers challenge#writers stuff#signal boost for writers challenges#signal boost#boost
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Welcome to my blog!
This pinned post will help you navigate the Garden. 💜
I decided my Navigation post needed an update so here it is!
Here you'll find links to my About Me & Rules, all of Masterlists and Collections and the guide to my WIPs :)
If you want to join my taglists just dm me!
REMINDER: This blog is 18+. MDNI and please check a fic's tags. I try to tag everything but I am human.
Dividers are by @/cafekitsune and @/adornedwithlight
You can find my About Me and Rules here
- about me, my writing and tags are included on this post, so you should find everything you need. But if you're unsure just ask!
Visit Grem's Bookshelf if you want to see my library of favourite fics and favourite writers :)
The Every Fic Ever Masterlist
- This Masterlist contains every fic I've ever written (in the title).
- This list isn't broken up in any specific way other than by Latest Fics and Character Fics.
- specific characters who I write for often have their own Masterlist (labelled as a collection) which will be linked under a characters name
- Story Collections will be linked on this post, but also under their characters!
Fics of 2024 Masterlist
Challenge Masterlists
Flufftober 2024
Kinktober 2024
Fluffcember 2024
Character Masterlists
Bucky Barnes
Steve Rogers
Stucky
Jake Jensen
Ari Levinson
Ransom Drysdale
Lloyd Hansen
Curtis Everett
Other Seb Stan and Chris Evans Characters
The Baron Zemo Collection
Loki
The Marvel Collection
Dean Winchester
A mini-series is 4 parts or less
Fic Key: 💖 fluff, 🔥smut, ⛈️angst, dark
Tails of New York 💖
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Summary: After being set up by your own pets, you and Bucky embark on navigating romance and your new life as a couple.
The Perfect Jotun Bride 🔥 (eventual 💖)
Pairing: Frost Giant! Loki x f!Asgardian!Reader
Summary: Being married to a frost giant prince isn't all bad. But whether or not you'll learn to love him is a different story.
You're looking at porn with some semblance of plot
Number of parts (so far): 2
Vrăjiatore (💖🔥)
Number of Parts so far: 2/?
A series is a fic or collection with 5 parts or more
Sun, Sea and Sirens Collection (Mostly 🔥)
Summary: A collection of one-shots/drabbles with different C.E and S.S characters interacting with human or siren f!readers
Green Collection (🔥)
Sleepy!Reader Collection (💖)
Summary: a collection of drabbles with different C.E and S.S. characters interacting with their sleepy!reader.
Pot (Ari Levinson x f!reader, Won the emoji WIP Poll)
All Nighter (Jake Jensen x gf!reader, Sleepy!Reader collection)
Forget-Me-Not Blues (Soulmate AU, Bucky x f!reader, won the WIP poll)
Cold, Dark Waters (Curtis Everett x f!reader, Sun Sea and Sirens fic)
#gremlin-girly navigation#gremlin-girly#navigation#navigation post#blog navigation#my rules#my blog#thanks for reading#welcome to my blog#masterpost#pinned post#masterpost of mastlists
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i saw this rec from the threads app on my insta and i just had to share 😭😭
i think it's fairly accurate considering everything HRJFKDKD
other than fighting rick on a daily basis i also dabble in shipping certain things out of spite which i love that you do as well HHAHA they can pry my ships and hcs from my cold, dead hands-
im curious! what's your go-to trope/au when it comes to your fave ships? im personally a sucker for soulmate aus or anything with angst FJGKDK
I'm going to separate my favorite tropes/aus into normal and problematic/unhingedv
Normal tropes : fake dating, soulmates, forbidden lovers, best friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, friends to enemies to lovers, 7 minutes in heaven, fake out makeouts, kissing to distract the other person and being into it, sword training, secret identities shenanigans, bad boy/punk and nerd/sunshine, friends with benefits that gets real real quick,hand holding(its more sexy that kissing at times), showering a person with kisses, taking your time kissing everywhere but the lips to build anticipation, girly girl characters, nerdy bookworm girl characters(not Bella Swan, hate her) weird girl characters. Rich person x broke person, meeting at a bookstore(hate coffeshop tropes). Couples who have the same humor. Using humor to cope. Found family(but no one calls each other siblings. Hate that new trend) squads, squad are idiots, hot boys, love letters, diary stories, texting fics(to a point, hate it when it gets dumb). Saving person from drowning/fire/falling to there death/just saving someone in general. Protectiveness. Battles couple, power couple.
Normal aus: Period drama aus, Fantasy aus, sci fi aus, pirate aus, fairy tale aus, cowboy aus, ancient times aus(Egypt, Greek, roman, China, Korea, Middle ages), mythology au, reincarnation aus, time travel au, time loop aus, fix it fics, 80s 90s au. Hate anything high school or modern times(unless it's teen wolf, or dear Evan Hansen), road trip aus, running away aus, royalty aus, multiverse aus
Ok now for my unhinged/problematic faves. Stop reading if this makes you uncomfortable
Problematic tropes: Kidnapping, Monster fucking, age difference, student teacher/mentor and mentie romance, sugar daddy and sugar baby, ice play, knife play, some pain play, bdsm but not too much hate name calling, choking kink, prasie kink, possessiveness to the point of craziness, finding someone killing for you hot, abo, bandage, rape fantasy, dubious consent, extremely dubious consent, captor and captive, stolchm syndrome, secret relationships, dark romance to a point, villians getting the girl/guy, hot villians, evil female villians, evil queen, evil female characters, evil female characters winning, bad guys kidnapping kids and being good parents(but they were still kidnapped) evil found family, villian x female character, villian x hero, villans winning, killing abusers,killing horrible guys, gray mentality
Unhinged aus: beauty and the beasts au emphasize on the beast and kidnapping and captor and captive au, the lives and drama of the rich, dirty secrets(pretty little liars level, vc andrews level), arranged marriage, monsters, falling in love with monsters,evil queens conquering and being happy and in love,royals conquering, daddy issues, abusive parents, abo au, war bride/husband, men(mainly straight) being evil and getting what the deserve, werewolves, mates, gothic romance aus, gothic horror au, teacher and student/mentor and mentie. Gotham like or purge like world aus. Zombie world aus where there's just no laws. Supernatural type au with emphasis of the monster and dark. Romeo and Juliet aus. Jail aus.
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“so, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for i, too, am fluent on silence.”
— r. arnold
.ೃ࿐ leave a good review!!
˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ store owner:
jay or star! | 22 years old [12//07] | pronouns: she//her [doesn't mind they//them] | unlabled, demisexual [questioning pansexual and demiromantic] | latina [ecuadorian dominican]
˚ · .˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ fun facts:
infj-t | saggitarius [sun], capricorn [moon] and capricorn [rising] | a gryffindor!! hopless romantic hidden under an anti-romantic | night owl vibes!! favorite trope: enemies to lovers is an illustration major with a minor in computer science
˚ · .˚ · . ˚ · . 🩵🧸☁️ likes: collecting things, gothic literature, reading, writing, drawing, ink, pens, notebooks, sketchbooks, kpop, coffee [iced and hot], tea [iced and hot], books, cafes, disney movies, gore, horror [movies, literature, etc.], enemies to loves [my beloved, yes it has to be mentioned twice], dsmp, twitch, vtubers, most music, frogs, bears, raccoons, mice, horses, silver, jewlery, summer, kdramas [trying to get into more], true crime, soulmates, college aus, anime, oversized hoodies, comfy clothes, strawberries, sweets, blueberries, watermelons, chocolate, morally grey characters, [my beloveds <3], villains [marry me please~], bats, snakes, spiders
˚ · .˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ dislikes: the cold, sitting still, sleeping early [hate the process of falling asleep], napping, not being productive, waking up early [i am not a morning person-]
˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ music i listen to:
kpop: bts, stray kids, ateez, enhypen, nct, txt, seventeen, e'last, onlyoneof, the rose, golden child, big bang, monsta x, got7, block b, pentagon, e'dawn, wonho, dpr ian [still don't know if he's kpop-], p1harmony, xdinary heroes, victon, exo, many many more... jrock: unite, aicle, the gazette, pentagon, mejibray, lycaon//initial l, codomo dragon, born, razor broadway: hamilton, six, heathers, dear evan hansen, wicked, in the heights, sweeny todd, hadestown, beetlejuice other: glass animals, lovejoy, black veil brides, pierce the veil, sleeping with sirens, imagine, dragons, korn, nine inch nails, mother mother, maneskin, sub urban, glaive, vocaloid i listen to wayyyy too much music, i swear this isn't all of it- saw wicked in: 2019 [hs sophmore], beetlejuice on: december 2019 [hs junior], stray kids on: 6.29.22, ateez on: 11.28.22, taylor swift on: 5.14.23
˚ · .˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ streamers//youtubers i like:
wilbur soot, tubbo, ranboolive, tommyinnit, karl jacobs, georgenotfound, dreamwastaken, most of the dsmp members, markiplier, jacksepticeye, mysta rias, vox akuma, ike eveland, most of the nijisanji vtubers, gura gawr, hakos baelz, most hololive//holostars vtubers
˚ · .˚ · . ˚ · . 🩵🧸☁️ games i like:
resident evil series, omori, twisted wonderland, obey me!, a3!, mystic messenger, uta no prince sama, the arcana, colorful stage, rhythm hive, bts world, dark wood, minecraft
˚ · .˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ books i like:
love & gelato, caraval series, 6 of crows, shadow & bone series, scythe series, red queen, night vale books [the podcast is so amazing], gallant, and so many more books...i have like a tub full of them-
˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ anime i like:
toilet bound hanako kun, spy x family, your lie in april, black butler, hunter x hunter, komi can't communicate, assassination classrrom, HAIKYU, blue period, the devil's a partimer, uta no prince sama, attack on titan, kamigami no asobi, deadman wonderland, many many more i can't remember off the top of my head...
˚ · .˚ · .🩵🧸☁️ stan list!! [it would make this wayyy too long if i put it all here-]
Date and Time: December 14th 2024, 10:47 AM EST
Updated: -
ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-🦋🫐 @tinystarstay - all rights reserved, please do not repost, edit, plagiarize, etc.
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His Sunshine Master List
This series is complete! ✔️
Sunshine was a normal sixteen-year-old girl. She helped out at her family's diner as a counter girl and worked hard in school. But like any girl, she would look at her arm, waiting for the day when the mark of her soulmate would appear, and she could go out into the world on her seventeenth birthday and start searching for him.
But little did she know that her parents already had an idea of the type of person her soulmate was supposed to be. A psychotic agent by the name of Lloyd Hansen.
Turns out...the only thing that was keeping him together all these years was the hope that when Sunshine presented as his soulmate, he would be accepted by her family with open arms.
Her parents employed none other than Sierra Six, an agent who was set to train her, and put her in the program when she came of age. But what he didn't expect, is that her parents followed none of the guidelines of the agency.
Sunshine didn't know that she was Sierra Eight.
She had no background in fighting, defensive skills, or any of the necessary requirements to make her a successful agent.
She was just a scared teenage girl
And Lloyd may have been a dark and stormy cloud...but she's his sunshine...she's the light in his soul. He wants to protect her from the fate that her parents picked out for her when she was born...and he'll do anything to make sure she's safe and in his arms.
Chapters
Chapter 1: The Day I Left My Life Behind
Chapter 2: The Day My Parents Died
Chapter 3: The Day I Left Behind My Innocence
Chapter 4: The Day My Handler Left
Chapter 5: The Day I Met Lloyd's Wife
Chapter 6: The Day My Handler Betrayed Me
Chapter 7: The Day I Became A Rogue
Chapter 8: The Day My Soulmate Caught Me
Chapter 9: The Day I Realized What Love Was
Chapter 10: The Day My Soulmate Took My Place
Chapter 11: The Day I Became The Future Mrs. Hansen
Chapter 12: The Day My Ex-Handler's Soulmate Met Me
Chapter 13: The Day I Almost Lost Him
Chapter 14: The Day My Ex-Handler Found Me Again
Chapter 15: The Day I Pressed Restart
Warnings will be posted each chapter. Contains dark themes like gun violence, murder, noncon, implied rape, smut, etc.
#lloyd hansen smut#lloyd hansen#soft lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#the gray man#sierra six#chris evans characters#soulmate au#his sunshine
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The Tree
Evan Hansen x Reader
Warnings: Reader is not specifically a boy or girl. Alana x Zoe is canon in this. Unedited and written nonstop from 9:00 pm to 3:00 am and I think that should be a warning in itself, Evan’s suicide attempt mentioned, some light cursing, nothing else I think, but tell me if you find anything that should be in the warning section
Character Count: 23,868
Summary: Evan Hansen Soulmate AU where you can feel the physical pain your soulmate feels, and you have a small tattoo on your wrist of what your soulmate is currently most passionate about. You just moved into town and its basically your first day of senior year and you meet Evan, your soulmate, yay! It also has a really flufftastic cheesy ending so don’t read it if you’re not into that, my friend.
A little tree... A little oak tree to be specific. You’ve had a little oak tree on your wrist for the past eight years. Before an oak tree it was a music note, before that it was ice cream, and even before that it was many little kid things, like trucks and airplanes and dinosaurs. But apparently your soulmate was dead set on trees. Your mom had long since explained to you why a damn ice cream cone was on your wrist for months, and apparently it was what your soulmate was most passionate about, she also explained why you’d have sudden waves of pain, and why you sat sobbing in the middle of a park, clutching your arm a few months ago. Soulmates feel each others pain, nothing else, just pain, because the universe was a cruel and strange place.
You often sat and wondered what your soulmate had on his wrist, you were passionate about a lot of things, so maybe it just rapidly changed every couple of days. You wondered how they felt about that, maybe they thought you were too indecisive, or maybe they thought it was funny… You had kept a journal of everything your soulmate was most passionate about since you could remember, you wondered if they did the same. You wondered about them a lot, you could probably write a list of all the things you wondered about them through the years alongside their passions.
“Y/N!”
You were abruptly pulled out of your thoughts by your mom quickly shoving the last box from the U-Haul into your arms, casting you an annoyed glace.
“Yeah, sorry mom.” You mumbled, trudging to your room upstairs, and dropping the box unceremoniously on the hardwood floor.
Flopping down onto your unmade bed, you groaned, holding your head in your hands as you peered at all the boxes you had to unpack. Moving to Pennsylvania (A/N: oh gosh I have no idea where DEH takes place so I just picked the first state with beautiful trees that came to mind) was stupid, starting a new school was stupid, life was just stupid right now. The only bright side to this dumb move is that your dad got a raise along with it.
Grumbling to yourself, you took the nearest scissors, opening the first box of many to unpack. After about five unpacked boxes you looked at your large handwriting on the side of each box, every single one was labeled “Y/N’s stuff” which was not helpful in the slightest if you were trying to find something specific. You sighed heavily, annoyed at your past self. You angrily took a bite of the slice of pizza your mom had delivered to you around the middle of unpacking box number four. She had then delivered the delightful news that she was taking you to register for your new school the next day at seven in the damn morning. You weren’t elated to say the least. After days of driving across the freaking US, you weren’t keen on going right back to school and you had hoped she’d maybe give you a few days to adjust. You should’ve known, that was nothing like your mother.
Heavily sighing to yourself you set up your bathroom so you could take a shower before you had to sleep. Unfortunately, setting up said bathroom proved to be a hell of a lot harder than you had thought it would be. Finding the shower curtain was an adventure, but finding your suitcase under the pile of random things you had created by unpacking proved to be an intense workout session. Sweat was nearly dripping off your face when you finally struggled the heavy suitcase out from under a major pile of art supplies and an old karaoke machine that you had yet to assemble and couldn’t fathom why you still had.
Finally taking a proper shower in your new house was a paradise compared to the low pressure odd smelling showers you had seen throughout the trip. The Kansas hotel was probably the worst, and you shuddered just thinking of it. After your shower you looked around your room, frowning at how bare and bland the walls were. You hung about every single one of your paintings on the walls, grinning to yourself at the intense barrage of colors anyone would get when entering your room.
The next morning you threw on a dark green baggy sweatshirt that you practically drowned in, it was old and worn out, and the small tree printed on the front was slowly fading away. You had bought the sweatshirt because it was soft and the tree reminded you of your soulmate, which never failed to make you smile. Plus, it was one of the only things you owned that wasn’t paint splattered, seeing as you were passionate about painting, once you got into one of your paintings you didn’t really care about the mess, resulting in endless angry sighs from your mother as she tried to scrub the already dried paint away. Quickly you shoved on a pair of jeans, which of course were covered in multiple shades of green paint, because even if your clothes were messy, worn, and covered in paint, you still liked to match.
Soon you were off to your new school, and you couldn’t find an ounce of enthusiasm about it. Trudging into the office, you caught a glimpse of a group of kids staring at you intently, your eyebrows furrowed as you blushed and quickly turned away, trying to keep up with your mom.
After a short and very boring meeting, you finally tuned in when the counselor said,
“Well it’s her first day with us, and our first class is advisory,” she checked the clock, “and it’s just going to end, so I can go ahead and give her a schedule right now and send her with a buddy so she can see all her classes today if you want!” you were seconds away from protesting when your mom quickly said,
“Oh, Y/N would love that, wouldn’t you, sweetie? I’ll pick you up after school at 3:05, I love you honey!”
she was practically pulling out of the school parking lot by the time you had processed everything she said.
“Um,” you glanced at the counselor, who was smiling sweetly at you, “well, thank you...”
You cringed, not knowing what to say. She simply nodded, printing out your schedule and calling in a “reliable” student. A girl you assumed was also a senior practically floated into the room a few minutes later, she smiled at you kindly, thrusting her hand out for you to shake. You noticed she had what looked to be an ‘A+’ for a soulmate marking. Grinning, you knew instinctively that she was definitely not your soulmate.
“Hi, I’m Alana, and welcome to your new wonderful High School! I’ll be sort of ghosting around you today to make sure you get to all your classes on schedule and don’t get lost!”
Her beaming smile was almost blinding, and you shot back a crooked grin, introduced yourself in return.
Alana practically dragged you down the hallway to your first class of the day. She sucked in a bit of air through her teeth,
“Unfortunately for you, Y/N, you’ll be sharing this class with Jared Kleinman, and Connor Murphy.” A small smile tugged at her cheeks when she said softly, “On the bright side you’ll be sharing it with Zoe Murphy,” you watched her eyes flicker to her wrist for a short moment. “Connor is her brother, and I’m in this class too, so you won’t have to worry about a place to sit!”
You both paused outside of the classroom as you analyzed her face for a moment,
“You were staring at me earlier weren’t you?”
Her smile turned slightly bashful as she said,
“Yeah, sorry about that, Evan pointed out your hoodie so we all looked at the same time, that must’ve been weird for you.”
You laughed lightly as you shook your head,
“No, that’s okay, it was just surprising.”
Alana nodded, opening the door to the classroom quietly. What you thought was going to be a nice and quiet entrance was abruptly ruined when Alana bounded into the room, dragging you along while calling out to the teacher,
“Sorry we were late, Mr. Destler! This is a Y/N, she’s new to the school, and transferred here from California!” the teacher glowered at her for a moment for interrupting his class, then nodded his head at you in greeting, and continued his lesson. Your face must’ve been bright red as Alana lead you to her group, a girl with a kind smile, light brown hair, and a floral dress caught your attention first. Mainly because said girl beamed at Alana as soon as she saw her.
Alana took the empty seat beside her, and to her left sat a scowling boy with longer dark hair, he glanced toward you with indifference for a moment before going back to mindlessly doodling in his notebook. You sighed softly as you sat down at the opposite side of the table, next to a paler boy with glasses and a wide grin.
“I’m the insanely cool Jared Kleinman.”
You quirked an eyebrow before muttering,
“What a title. I’m Y/N.”
His grin faltered for a moment at your less that enthusiastic greeting, but he smiled again as he asked,
“Yeah I heard when Alana dragged you in. So it’s just Y/N? No last name?”
You sighed quietly as you whispered your full name, quickly pulling out your sketchbook as Jared took it upon himself to introduce the rest of the group.
“Well Hot Topic over there is Connor Murphy, and part two of the lovebird extravaganza is Zoe Murphy, his sister. You’ve obviously met Alana, so you should know by now they’re soulmates.”
You chuckled softly as you glanced up to see them whispering and smiling to each other.
“I guess they’re lucky they met so young.”
You said absentmindedly as you pulled out your colored pencils. Deciding to add to your nature page, you started a sketch of a cherry blossom tree, the page already crowded with them.
“So, you like trees? I have a friend you might get along with.”
Jared said, his voice betraying his boredom with the subject. You chewed your lip thoughtfully for a moment before quickly whispering,
“I like to paint, draw, and look at nature. I don’t love interacting with it too much.” Shrugging, you continued, “My soulmate likes oak trees, so I guess I do too by default.”
You held out your wrist for Jared to see, then flipped through your sketchbook.
“Well, we can get that right off the table then, we’re definitely not soulmates.”
You snorted a soft laugh as you started a new sketch of a cat.
“So what’s your soulmate into then, Jared?”
You glanced up to find him grinning ever so softly as he showed you his wrist proudly. A small video game controller was printed onto it. You glanced at the boy across from you, Connor as he scoffed, glowering at you and Jared.
“Can people survive ten minutes without droning on about their soulmates? We get it, everyone has one, you’re not special.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you shot back,
“Oh sorry, we were just trying to have some conversation, what would you like to talk about, Edgelord? How about you feeling high and mighty because you’re not into soulmates, when really; you’re not special.”
Your eyes narrowed as he avoided eye contact. Finally, he sighed in defeat and held out his wrist for you to see a small bunny printed on it. You couldn’t help but smile at Connor as a small laugh escaped your lips.
“Now, that’s adorable.”
You could see Connor visibly biting back a smile as he lowered his wrist and continued to sketch. The rest of the period was filled with Mr. Destler’s lessons on vocal chords, and Alana and Zoe’s giggles and side remarks.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you peered at your schedule when the bell rang, your next period was art 4, but the class after that had you confused.
“Alana, I think there’s a mistake, I never signed up for Gardening.”
Alana nodded in sympathy,
“Yeah, you probably requested a class that’s too full, like pottery or oil painting, they put you into the least full elective as a default. Hey, on the bright side I’m pretty sure there’s only one other kid in that class with you.” She frowned thoughtfully for a moment, “On the down side he loves that class the most because he’s surrounded by nature and no one is there to bother him… Evan has really bad anxiety, so just… I don’t know, don’t think he’s weird or anything, he’ll eventually warm up to you and it’ll be easier for him to talk to you.”
You nodded for a moment before asking,
“Is the gardening teacher there too, or?”
Alana laughed,
“You’ll soon see how small our school is, Y/N. The Gardening teacher, she teaches Girls Soccer and got stuck teaching that class. She hates it and usually finds an excuse to get out of there. Poor Evan is too scared to say anything, so you’ll most likely be alone with him every other day during third.”
You laughed along with her as you walked to your next class along side Connor, who apparently also really loves art. During your art period with him and Alana you learned that Connor was also very talented with copic markers and digital art. You couldn’t help but be slightly jealous, as you had tried digital art for months on end to no avail. Normal pencil sketches or acrylic paints were more your line of expertise. Connor promised to teach you little tricks and tips with digital art if you promised to do the same with acrylic paints. You practically threw yourself across the table to hug him and quickly agreed.
After art Alana led you outside to a beautiful greenhouse filled with thriving plants, all different types of flowers surrounded you as you walked around in awe.
You spun around abruptly as you heard a quiet voice,
“Alana? What are you doing in the greenhouse, I mean, not that I mind, I just thought you have AP Physics right now with Zoe…”
You peeked your head around a rather large Hibiscus bush, and waved shyly to who you assumed was Evan. His eyes grew wide and his cheeks reddened as he hesitantly waved back.
“Evan, this is Y/N! She transferred here from California and is in this class with you. Cool, right?”
Alana grinned at you, and Evan replied a few seconds later,
“Oh, yeah… that- that is really, um, cool.”
You turned to keep analyzing the flowers, holding back laughter at his less than honest response. You smiled at his attempt at being polite nonetheless.
“Okay I know this is a really bad time to legitimately turn into a ghost, but I have a test in physics right now and I really can’t afford to miss it. I’ll come back at the end of the period, but meanwhile you two get to know each other! Have fun and do some, um…” she paused for a moment before weakly cheering out, “do some gardening!”
You smiled at her as she bolted out of the greenhouse, trying to make it to physics before the bell rang. A tree sapling caught your attention, two bags of mulch lay beside it, and it desperately needed replanting. Without thinking, you strolled over to it and read the label, it was a Scarlet Oak Tree. You smiled softly to yourself,
“Scarlet Oak, my second favorite.”
You jumped slightly when you heard Evan behind you, closer than you thought, asking,
“You have a favorite tree?”
Your face flushed as you turned to look at him, getting up, you brushing yourself off and grinned at him.
“Yeah, I really love Cherry Blossom trees.” You rubbed the back of your neck as Evan quickly responded,
“Oh, that probably sounded like I thought you were weird or something- which I don’t! I have a favorite tree too, it was just pleasantly surprising to find someone else who, um… you know... also has a favorite tree…”
He trailed off, his eyes darting away from yours as he played with the hem of his shirt. You seemed only notice his cast right then, and was pushed back into the memory of sitting in the middle of the park crying over your arm.
“Your arm.”
You stated dumbly. Evan jumped ever so slightly, like he didn’t expect you to talk to him again, he raised his casted arm, nodding.
“Um, yeah, its broken.” He blinked hard, his face tinting red, “That’s probably why you pointed it out though, cause you can see that it’s broken.”
You nodded slightly,
“Sorry, it just…” you shook your head, “Never mind.”
You didn’t want to just outright say, hey are you my soulmate? Cause that’s weird, right? I mean hundreds of people must break their arm every day.
“Oh, did your soulmate break their arm?” Evan’s eyes widened, apparently he didn’t realize he had said it out loud until it was too late, “oh, sorry forget that- wow that was weird, I shouldn’t have brought it up because that’s such an awkward thing to bring up! Soulmates, I mean, obviously not breaking arms.”
You smiled softly at him, picking up the sapling as you started to walk toward the doors.
“That’s okay Evan,” you assured, “I don’t know my soulmate, so I don’t really know. I just felt a lot of pain in my arm a few months ago.”
Evan nodded as he followed you,
“Oh okay, that’s cool… I mean not the arm breaking pain part or the not knowing your soulmate- I guess its not really cool actually.”
You laughed, glancing back at him as you set down the sapling in what you deemed to be the perfect place to plant it.
“I guess not. So how did you, you know, break your arm?”
His eyes darted down to his arm, then to the ground.
“I was climbing a tree this summer, and I kind of… fell.”
You tilted your head, an eyebrow raised.
“How do you kind of fall?”
You asked, and poor Evan’s cheeks grew even more red, his eyebrows furrowed as he replied.
“Oh, well I stepped on a branch that I thought could hold my weight but, well, it couldn’t.”
You grinned slightly at that, finishing up planting the sapling.
“Well, I’m sorry you fell out of a tree, Evan, it doesn’t sound fun. I know if it hurt as much as my wrist did when my soulmate broke their arm, then it not only doesn’t sound fun, but it is indeed not fun.”
Evan smiled shyly,
“No, it really wasn’t fun.”
You wiped the dirt off your hands, holding one out for Evan to shake. He stared at it for a moment before processing what you wanted. He let out a soft ‘Oh!’ then wiping his hand nervously on his khakis. He shook your hand gently and smiled at you.
“It’s nice to formally meet you, Evan! I’m Y/N Y/L/N, and I love painting and autumn.”
You glanced down at his wrist out of instinct and did a double take when you saw a small print of one of the favorite paintings you’ve ever made, half-finished on his wrist. You recoiled, your eyes probably as wide as saucers, you didn’t know you were going to meet your soulmate today. You thought you would meet him in your twenties or early thirties like most everyone else. You weren’t prepared and didn’t know how to react to meeting him now. Your stomach twisted into a knot as he gazed wide eyed at you,
“Did- did I do something?”
You quickly shook your head,
“No, you’re... you’re totally fine, Evan.”
When you heard the bell ring in the distance, it jolted you into motion, and you briskly walked away.
“Y/N?”
He called weakly after you, but you were already halfway through the doors, practically sprinting down the hallway. You frantically searched for Alana, or Jared, just anyone you knew.
“Hey, Y/N, what’s the rush?” Jared called from behind you. “You look like you just saw Freddy Krueger walk out of your daydream.”
Jared smirked at you as you practically smacked into him.
“Oh my god, thank god I found you Jared, I just had- I… just take me to my next class, please.”
You sighed in defeat, not knowing how to feel or what to say as Jared looked over your schedule.
“Oh okay, cool, you have next period with me! What did you lose Alana in your sonic dash?”
You shook your head,
“It’s a long story, believe me.”
It wasn’t a long story, really. Evan was your soulmate and you found out last period, and you were so scared that you practically ran away from him before he could know any better. It was that easy to say, but you were too ashamed of your reaction to admit the truth. Now what were you to do? You lost Alana, and Evan, your soulmate, probably thinks you’re a psychopath... Did you mention the part where your soulmate probably thinks you’re a psychopath?
Arriving at your next class, you breathed a sigh of relief. Environmental Science, now that should be a breeze. You nearly screamed when Alana abruptly grabbed your shoulder and spun you around, frowning in a mom friend type of manner.
“You couldn’t wait for me? Evan was practically having an anxiety attack trying to figure out what he did wrong. I told you to go easy on him, didn’t I? Gosh, it’s a good thing I printed out a second copy of your schedule just in case something like this happened.”
She sighed, briefly waving the copy of your own schedule at you before continuing.
“Anyway, let’s go in, you’ll sit with Jared and Evan this period, I assume?”
Your heart must have stopped beating.
“Evan?”
You felt all color drain from your face, and Alana arched an eyebrow,
“Seriously, Y/N, what happened last period? You’re acting like he threatened to burn down your house or something.”
You shook your head, gluing your eyes to the floor as you stumbled into class after Alana. The period was long and painful, mostly consisting of you and Evan catching each other staring and cringing, both your faces beet red, while Jared and Alana both witnessed this. They looked to each every so often, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
When lunch finally came around, you decided to go see how the sapling was doing instead of sitting with your new friends. You didn’t want to explain why you couldn’t stand to make eye contact with Evan for more than two seconds without shrinking into yourself.
“Y/N?”
This time you did scream in surprise when you were abruptly turned around by Alana. You were met with Zoe, Jared, Connor, and Alana all staring at you, Evan lingered n the back, looking at anything but you.
“We want to know what’s going on. You were totally fine with us until you met Evan and now you won’t talk to any of us.”
You glanced around, trying to calculate the fastest escape route.
“Don’t even try it, I have much longer legs than you.”
Connor grumbled, noticing your darting eyes.
“Well, I…”
You cringed, your face bright red as you ranted out.
“Evan and I are soulmates, and I didn’t expect to meet him for at least five more years so I wasn’t ready today. I kind of panicked, and now I’m scared he thinks I’m a freak, so I kind of just avoided you all because with you comes Evan and…”
You blinked a few times, looking at all their shocked faces.
“W-We’re soulmates?”
Evans eyes were wide, tears making his eyes glisten as he stared at you, taking in every feature of the person he was destined to be with.
“Your wrist print is one of my paintings.”
You laughed, almost in disbelief as you both held out your wrists for the other to see.
“Holy shit.”
Connor mumbled.
“Fucking called it.”
Jared said smugly.
“Come on, lets give them some privacy.”
Alana beamed at Zoe, probably thinking about how they met only last year. As soon as they were gone, you tackled Evan in a hug. He fell to the ground with a thump, and slowly hugged you back.
“I’m sorry… I just didn’t know how to react, I didn’t know you were going to be so beautiful and I felt so many emotions that I haven’t before. I didn’t know what to do so I just...”
Evan cut you off as he whispered in awe,
“Can… can I kiss you?”
His face was red and blotchy, tears still sparkling in his eyes when you finally broke too, bursting into tears and nodding, kissing him softly. You pulled away from the kiss a short while later, holding each other as you finally whispered,
“I was so excited to meet you, I kept a journal of every single passion that appeared on my wrist.”
Evan replied by practically sobbing. You slowly wiped away his tears, and kissed his cheek, helping him calm down.
“What’s wrong, Evan?”
He finally managed to respond after a few minutes.
“I lied.”
You shook your head in confusion,
“About what?”
“I didn’t fall out of the tree, Y/N. I climbed to the top of the highest tree I could find and let go.” He paused, watching your reaction, “I never thought I would be good enough, I didn’t think I deserved a soulmate, I was so scared you wouldn’t like me, I never thought you would care so much.”
This time it was your turn to cry again as you hugged him tighter than you’d ever held anyone in your life. You promised him you would never stop caring, and that you would never stop loving him, he didn’t need to change for you.
“I love you Evan Hansen, because you are you, and for me that will always be enough.”
--
@courfeyracs-swordcane
(A/N: oops thats a cheesy ending sorry its 3 am and i want to sleep at least i didnt kill him off lol)
#im using so many tags because im actually kind of proud of this one oops#dear evan hansen#evan hansen x reader#evan hansen#deh#dear evan hansen fanfic#dear evan hansen fanfiction#evan hansen fanfic#evan hansen fanfiction#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#evan hansen soulmate au#soulmate fanfic#soulmate fanfiction#evan hansen fic#dear evan hansen fic#soulmate fic#dear evan hansen soulmate fic#evan hansen soulmate fic
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Alright I know Gray Man was literally just released today but I’m gonna need my online writer friends to crank out some gooooood Lloyd Hansen shit ASAP because I am on a kick. Specifically I want some soulmate au’s🫡 if I could write a single decent thing I would. Unfortunately, I’m a shit writer but I love to read SO I’m relying on all you beautiful people to keep me from going crazy.
Xoxo
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just thought of so big/so small and logan in the soulmate au and i’m SOBBING
#i just#that moving truck line#just made me sob#and also the#‘your moms not going anywhere/ your mom is staying right here’#and it punched me in the g u t#anyways it’s a logan song and you can’t stop me GHDKSJDS#sanders sides#ts#ts logan#logan sanders#dear evan hansen#so big/so small#yea logan’s parents are divorced in the fic#it’s actually a really important plot point too#but that’s spoiler territory :]#soulmate au
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The universe made mistakes.
Mistakes that ran deep, riverbeds down mountainsides, that lingered long after the water dried up leaving dusty dirt behind. There were softer mistakes too, smaller ones. Maybe just oversights, nothing to think too hard about.
// evan hansen and jared kleinman were never promised soulmates
#kleinsen#dear evan hansen#dear evan hansen fanfic#jared kleinman#evan hansen#soulmate au#fic#so this is kinda old but.. ig i never posted it here?
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Connor Murphy x Reader: Scars
soulmate au where you get scars in the same places as your soulmate
words: 1601
warnings: self harm, swearing, mentions of suicide, somewhat angsty(?)
Another day, another scar appeared on your wrist. It was normal to you, but it made it still made you worry. You would worry about your soulmate. It started in your early teens, getting more marks on your arms almost on the daily.
“Hey (Y/N) it happened again. You got few marks.” Your friend Zoe pointed out. The two of you were in the middle of a Princess Diaries movie marathon at her house. You shrugged, looking down at your wrist. “How can you be so calm knowing that your soulmate is hurting themselves like that?”
“They’ve been doing it for awhile, there’s nothing I can do until I meet them. Anyways how’s it going with Evan?” You changed the topic, hoping to make her drop it. You knew how much she liked to talk about Evan.
Zoe turned a bright crimson, “It’s going really good. He asked if he and his friends can sit with us at lunch. I said yes, I hope that’s okay...” She looked down at her lap and said more softly, “I’m really happy he’s mine.”
“I know, I’m glad you guys finally realized you were soulmates. I could see that even without your scars.” You smiled to her and returned to watching your movie.
You were getting ready to head home when there was a loud thump followed by a “fuck”. Zoe and Mr. Murphy quickly rushed you out to the car so they could drive you home before he got worse.
---
Connor was mad at himself. He couldn’t stop the bleeding coming from his arms. Normally it would stop not long after he cleansed his cuts, but today it just wasn’t stopping. He lost his temper and threw his copy of Fahrenheit 451 across the room and shouted, “Fuck” in frustration. He threw himself into his bed, flipping the covers over his head. He sighed and drifted into sleep, hoping that in the morning it will have stopped.
---
Lunch rolled around before you knew it, and you headed to your table where Zoe, Evan, and someone who you assumed to be Evan’s friend were already sitting. You took a seat, and tried to process the conversation that was going on. “And then I was like, ‘I love your new haircut, it’s very school shooter chic’ and he went off on me like some sort of freak.”
“Yeah he’s a psychopath, I’m sorry.” Zoe apologized, “He was super cranky this morning too, like crankier than usual.” Zoe then noticed your presence, “Hey (Y/N)!”
“Hi Zoe, hi Evan. Who’s this?” You questioned, motioning to the dark haired guy with glasses.
He perked up, “I’m Jared, but you can call me your next boyfriend.”
“Got any scars?” You asked, motioning to his arms.
“No but who cares about that silly soulmate stuff when you could have a-”
You held your hands up to stop him. “Not interested, who are we talking about?” Trying to shift the conversation from Jared’s awkward flirting, you decided to ask about the strange conversation.
“Just my brother,” Zoe rubbed her temples trying to calm herself, “He pushed Evan down earlier too.”
Evan started to ramble, “Oh it’s fine, but not like I like getting pushed down kind of fine. I don’t like getting pushed down- I’m not some kind of masochist or something. I don’t like pain, I hate pain-” He stopped himself to the catch his breath.
“Zoe, are you sure he’s okay? He seemed to be having a rough time last night. He didn’t even come down to tell us to shut up.”
She rolled her eyes, “Connor’s fine.”
“As fine as a freak can be.” Jared laughed. “Guy seriously has issues.” As if on a cue, Connor was walking past when Jared was talking. When he approached you caught a slight metallic scent.
“Oh, so you saw me come in and decided to start trashing me again so I’d get angry, well it’s not going to work. I’m not a freak, you’re the freak,” His eyes grew clouded with frustration as he stormed off.
Conflicted, you excused yourself and followed out to the taller Murphy sibling. You weaved through the halls, following the footsteps. You turned the corner and the footsteps stopped, but Connor was nowhere in sight. You looked around and failed to find him. You walked out the nearest exit and leaned against the wall, sinking to the ground with a sigh.
“Oh great, you came after me to make more fun of me. Well go ahead, give me your worst.” A familiar voice said filled with irritation. You looked up to see Connor Murphy’s face, almost filled with sadness? “It’s the last chance you’ll get anyways.”
Shocked, your eyes widened, “Connor, what do you mean last chance?”
“I mean it all ends tonight, I don’t have to deal with this harassment, and the world won’t need to deal with me anymore.” He chipped at his black nail polish.
“Connor-”
“Don’t ‘Connor’ me.” He said, using a high-pitched nasally voice to imitate yours when he said his name. “It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t care anyways, I’ve never been nice to you. All you know me for is screaming at you and Zoe to shut up when you have your movie marathons.”
“Connor, we both know that’s not all I know you from-”
“Right I forgot to mention that when you stay over for dinner you get to witness me yelling at my parents.” He uncomfortably shifted, “See, you really won’t be missing anything once I’m gone. Everyone’s lives will be better without me.”
“Connor shut up and listen to me, God damn it!” You shrieked, trying to get a word in. He shrank and looked at you like he was a kicked puppy. “Connor, don’t you remember that one time when Zoe and I were ten and you were eleven?” He blankly stared at you, “Zoe and I were playing tag and I tripped over and scraped right above my temple. You’re parents weren’t home and we couldn’t reach the band aids or anything. I thought I was going to die of blood loss.”
“I remember,” Connor said, a smile starting to form, “Zoe went to the neighbor to get some, but the lady offered her cookies and she couldn’t resist. I found you crying in the bathroom, you really did think you were going to die. I got the band aids down and cleaned up your forehead for you.”
“Mhm, and I was still crying because when I got hurt my mom would always kiss them better. I didn’t think I was going to get better if she didn’t kiss it better.”
Connor turned beet red, recalling the next part, he sheepishly scratched his head, “So I, uhm, I,” he lowered his head and mumbled, “I kissed it to make it better.”
“I stopped crying almost immediately.”
“I bet you regret that now.” He pushed his hair back and laughed, “Now you’d probably start crying if I kissed you- er, I mean if I tried to kiss a wound,”
Your eyes widened as you caught a glimpse of a scar above his right temple, exactly where yours was. You felt your scar, almost as you were making sure you still had a scar there, “Connor,” you put your hand on his arm and rolled up his sleeves to reveal his arm covered in scars, “You,” you motioned to your arm and forehead scar, “Did you know?” He nodded, “How long have you known?”
“Since that day...” He pulled his sleeve back down.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You would’ve been disappointed. Heck, you probably are. Sorry you got left with a freak like me.”
“Connor,” You started, “I’m not disappointed that you’re my soulmate.”
“Bullshit. You’re face says it all.”
“I’m not disappointed that you’re my soulmate, I’m disappointed that you hurt yourself so much. I’m disappointed that you felt that way. I’m disappointed that you want to-. Am I not good enough for you? You knew, and you still planned to- to kill yourself?”
Connor gaped at your saddened form, the tears forming in your eyes, the sincerity in your voice. “God, no.” He took a step towards you and wrapped you in a big hug. “That’s not it at all. God, no. I-,I didn’t tell you because I was afraid. But I-, you can do so much better than me, soulmate or not. You’d be able to date anyone you want to.”
“I doubt that. And even if I could I don’t want to.” You looked down, “I’ve liked you way before I knew this. You know I gushed for years about you to Zoe.”
“Really? God, you must think I’m the worst soulmate ever, leaving you with scars all over the place, planning on committing suicide, knowing and not telling you.”
“Connor it’s okay, I get it. We’re going to figure this out together.” You hugged back, “That is if you plan to stick around with me...” You looked up into his eyes.
A sudden rush hit you as Connor’s lips crashed against yours, you kissed back and your lips moved together as time seemed to stop in place. As you separated he looked down to you with a small grin, “As long as I can keep doing that.” You answered by pressing your lips back against his. “Then what kind of man would I be if I said no to my soulmate.” He said with a cheesy smile, “I’m so happy you aren’t disappointed.”
“I’m so happy that I found you when I did.” You muttered burying your head in his chest.
#connor murphy#connor murphy x reader#dear evan hansen#soulmate au#musicals#dear evan hansen x reader#jared kleinman#evan hansen#zoe murphy#fanfiction#deh x reader#deh
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You can run but you can’t hide.
Masterlist
(Soft!Dark! Soulmate AU)
Minors DNI.
p.s. slow updates
Summary: Lloyd Hansen had been told from a young age that he’ll one day find his other half. What they didn’t tell him was that not everyone was as excited as him to find their other half.
Based on this ask
Soft!Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Reader
Warnings through out the series : dark, noncon/dubcon, rape(?) just to make sure, age gap, manipulation, sex used as punishment(?), edging(?), smut, orgasm denial, forced orgasm, soft!dark! gonna give you whiplash, forced breeding, breeding kink, language, abusive/toxic relationship, violence, blood, more to be added as the series goes.
taglist is open.
Series:
Chapter 1: Soulmate
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:
Chapter 4:
???:
Drabbles
Coming Soon…
#honey writes#soft!dark!lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#chris evans#chris evans fic#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans smut#soulmate au#soft!dark fic#you can run but you can’t hide#you can run but you can’t hide mini-series#chris evans imagine#chris evans x reader#lloyd hansen smut#chris evan characters
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I wrote Kleinsen soulmate au fanfiction
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24362326/chapters/58752715
its not done yet but heres the first chapter!
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Soulmates au, where your soulmate biggest achievement is written on your hand. It doesn’t have to be anything spectacular. But it is a thing, that pushes them forward. Something they still think about and are proud of.
Both Connor and Evan have the same thing:
“I didn’t kill myself”
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take my hand and let it spin
So this is... quite different from what I usually write.
This will be a series of around 10 (ish? we’ll see) kind of standalone pieces, although they make much more sense when read in order.
title from “temporary love” by Ben platt
prompt found here
***
Tally marks were a blessing and a curse.
From the earliest ages, you learned about the tally marks. As a child, you’d gaze at the wrists of your teachers or parents, wondering what the stories were behind each red line, trying to figure out if the black tallies were anyone you’d known, or staring with a kind of quiet apprehension at the thin, white scars few carried.
So it starts like this; Evan’s father gets a new tally mark.
For Evan, tally marks were... complicated. He’d used to love tracing the marks on his parents’ wrists; Heidi had two red tally marks that had linked themselves in his mind, almost like twins, standing before the deeper, black tally that she shared with his father. And his father’s tallies were more complicated; there were more of them, a few red and a few black, one white scar standing out starkly amongst them, before the final black tally mark he shared with Heidi. Falls in love quickly, Evan could swear he remembered Heidi saying with a smile or a laugh, but this time it’s lasted.
It didn’t, really. It lasted for longer than his other loves, sure, but when Evan was six years old he saw the edge of a new red tally mark peeking out from his father’s sleeve, and after his seventh birthday, he could tell it had turned black. Shortly afterwards, Heidi saw it, and a few weeks later—mid-February, most likely—the U-HAUL truck pulled into his driveway, and then out, taking his father and his new black tally mark with him.
Tally marks never held the same meaning for him after that.
Through most of middle and high school, things stayed the same. Tally marks were rare, that young. Of course, a few started cropping up around fourteen or fifteen, but they were almost taboo; love at such a young age was almost laughable. Unlike a lot of adults, who wore their hearts on their sleeves-literally-and let their marks show, many of them would cover up their tally wrists as much as possible.
(Around freshman year, Jared started to wear more long sleeves. Evan couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Jared’s wrist. He’d wanted to ask him about it, but even though they’d been friends for forever, really, asking about someone’s tallies was touchy, and Evan didn’t want to disturb their familiar peace.)
(Heidi, too, covered up her tallies: it had started right after Evan’s father left, and he suspected that it was too painful for her to be reminded of her past loves.)
Evan didn’t care much for tallies. His wrist was clear, just like most fifteen year olds, and he’d soured to the idea after his father’s new tally.
But at the end of sophomore year, indigo-streaked-hair freshman Zoe Murphy took stage with the jazz band at their end-of-school concert. Evan had never really noticed jazz band, but Zoe-the confident set of her shoulders, her slightly more nervous grip on her guitar, and the small, sweet smile that took hold of her features when she relaxed into the song-drew his attention and sent his heart racing. He started noticing her more after that—dancing her heart out at a school dance, head bent over a table in the library while studying, a flash of her hair in the hallway as she ran to get to her friends. And nothing else came of it, since he was too afraid to talk to her; he was left with a fluttering heart and her smile filling his dreams, and nothing more.
Summer came and went. Jared found out about his crush and teased him accordingly. The school year rolled back around, and Evan resigned himself to a stressful, empty junior year.
Until Zoe came up to him, barely a week into school.
“Hey-it’s Evan, right?”
Startled-partially by anyone speaking to him, partially because he was becoming very flustered because holy shit she’s even prettier up close-Evan only said “Evan?” which came out more as a question than anything else.
Her brows furrowed, and he could practically feel the apology radiating off of her. “That’s...your name? Shit, I’m sorry if I’m wrong-”
“No, no-Evan. Hansen. Evan Hansen, that’s me, God I’m sorry, that’s so annoying.”
“What is?” The indigo had faded from her hair over the summer; all that was left was a few vaguely purple strands.
“Oh, well, sorry, I just repeated my name when you asked me if that was my name and that’s so annoying when people do that, so I’m sorry-”
“You say sorry a lot,” she noted, a twinkle of humor in her eyes.
He’d never noticed how pretty her eyes were before, different flecks of gold in their warm brown depths.
“Uh-sorry.”
At that she actually laughed. Evan didn’t think he’d ever heard anything as beautiful as her laugh-it was warm and genuine, filling the slightly-awkward air around them with a sweeter feeling.
He was a little taken aback when he realized he’d do anything to hear that laugh again.
“I’m Zoe. Murphy,” she added, almost as an afterthought, sticking her hand out for him to shake.
He never learned the exact reason Zoe had come up to him that day, but when she’d departed with a “you’re not too bad, Evan Hansen,” he was left with a stupid grin on his face and a rapidly beating heart.
That hadn’t been the end of it. The next Monday, he’d been waiting for Jared to arrive at their normal lunch spot when a familiar person slid across from him at the table.
“Hey, Evan Hansen.”
His heart skipped a beat, and he returned her eye contact with a too-broad smile. “Hey, Zoe Murphy.”
“So, what’re you up to waiting here? Plotting world domination?” She cracked open a water bottle as she said this, fixing him with a look that she may have actually given him if she thought he was considering world domination
“Waiting for Jared, mostly.”
“I see. Keep your secrets, then,” she joked, a small smile on her face.
It was easier to talk with Zoe than he expected.
“Ugh,” she started, stabbing at a noodle from a tupperware, “my English teacher-did you have Howard last year?” After securing a nod from Evan, along with a sympathetic groan, she continued, “yeah, he’s already assigned an essay. Eight hundred words on the diction and possible motifs appearing in The Great Gatsby, even though we’re only like, ten pages in.”
“Howard is... a tough teacher. His creative writing unit is better, though, even though it’s at the end of the year. He expects less from it.”
“I don’t even want to know what the rest of the year is gonna be like.”
“I wish I could tell you it was gonna get better, but...”
Zoe merely grimaced, stabbing at another noodle. “Yikes. You said the creative writing was better, though, right? Do you like writing?”
Evan shrugged, ignoring how his cheeks began to color. “I like it better than most of English.”
“Are you good? I’ve tried my hand at writing, but it always turns out like a first grader’s journal.”
Evan laughed a little at this and shrugged, fidgeting hands returning to the table. “Not really. I’m okay.”
“Tree Boy’s being modest,” a new voice said, and as Evan turned he could see Jared approaching the table. Slapping his tray down on the table, Jared added, “Charles Dickens’ ghost would probably weep with joy if he could see Evan’s writing.”
Zoe smiled at this new development, even as Evan started with “oh, no, I’m really not that good-”
“Hey, trust your slightly-assholic-friend.” Zoe interjected.
“I reject the notion,” Jared retorted, “that I am at all an asshole.”
“You were in jazz band in middle school, right? Sat behind the guitars?” Zoe’s smile had dropped, and she was staring Jared down.
He seemed taken aback. “Uh...yes?”
“So you’d remember the incident with Cindy Rivera and the jar of tomato sauce?”
Jared stared at her blankly for a moment. “How the fuck did you remember that?”
Evan was truly lost. “What-”
“Oh, I remember everything,” Zoe said brightly once again, turning back to Evan. She bumped her hand lightly against his, still holding the fork. “Maybe I could see your writing sometime?”
Evan’s heart felt like it could burst.
That became their new normal, over the coming days and weeks. Lunches were spent together, jokes were formed, the occasional car ride was shared. And if Evan’s feelings grew to the point where he could barely think of anything but Zoe? He did his best to hide it.
So no, it actually started like this: Evan gets a red tally mark and never dreams it could turn black.
That is, until it does.
He awoke one morning, still junior year, and caught sight, on his formerly bare wrist, of one lone, red tally mark, staring up at him.
He started freaking out almost immediately. He was only sixteen; how could he be in love? What if Zoe hated him for it? What if she didn’t feel remotely the same way?
And his father’s tally marks stood out in his mind. They were an image that scared him more than anything. Would Evan turn out to be just like him-falling in love too easily, never knowing who he could hurt?
So it’s long sleeves and dodging one-on-one time with Zoe for the rest of the year.
No matter how much he tries to hide it, or suppress it, Evan can’t stop the somersaults his stomach does when Zoe smiles at him (which she does a lot) or how his heart flutters when he makes her laugh (which only happens slightly less) or how sometimes, he can barely breathe when he’s kept up at night thinking about her (which he does more than he would care to admit.)
He still can’t help but feel bad for pulling back so much, when he can tell it hurts her, sometimes.
(Is everything okay? she asks, and Evan can’t help the sharp intake of breath he takes when she turns to him, genuine concern written on her features.
Instead he says Oh yeah, I’m fine, why?
She bites her bottom lip, a habit he’s noticed her doing when she’s nervous or upset. Nothing, it’s just-you’ve seemed more withdrawn lately, and I wasn’t sure if it was something I did.
And it takes everything in him, right then and there, to not blurt out the whole story. Anything to stop her from looking so sad. But he takes a deep breath, and starts over. What? No, no, it’s not-look, I promise you, there’s nothing you could do that would-it’s not your fault. It’s never your fault. It’s just me, he wants to say. It’s all my fault, for falling in love with you when I know you’ll never fall in love with me.
She looks up at him, still chewing on her bottom lip. He can’t quite read the expression on her face. Okay, she says. Okay.)
One day, Jared’s parents force him on a last-minute Family Bonding trip, so it’s just him and Zoe are hanging out in her basement, both in beanbags in the floor. Parks and Rec is on, even though they’ve both seen it a million times, and Connor had even hung out with them for a little while before retreating back into his room.
Suddenly Zoe said, “oh my God, you need to see this,” and leaned over onto Evan’s beanbag, holding her phone up to his face. On it was the world’s tiniest hedgehog wearing an even tinier sweater with a tree embroidered on it and damn, if that wasn’t the cutest thing he’d ever seen. (It’s not, though; as he snuck a glance at Zoe’s face when he was sure she’s focused on the hedgehog, he thought that expression of pure joy on her was even cuter.)
She broke her gaze away to look at him, still grinning dopily in a way that only a post-hedgehog endorphin rush can cause (even though that smile wasn’t meant for him, his lungs still constricted and he had to fight to keep an identical one from spreading to his face), she said “he’s your brother, Ev’. He loves trees too.”
And then Evan did smile, trying to think up some reply other than do you know how pretty your smile is or something similar because dammit, Evan, she’ll never like you like that, don’t ruin what you have.
(The tally mark on his wrist seemed to burn through his sleeve, and he suddenly felt self conscious.)
They were still looking at each other, but something felt different, then. The air was charged with a kind of unfelt electricity, a tangible feeling that was just playing at the top of his tongue.
And he noticed, once again, the gold flakes in Zoe’s eyes, the deep layers of brown and lighter gray in them, just how striking they were staring into his own, almost like she can see every thought he has. He hopes he wasn’t mistaken, because he could swear he saw those eyes darting down every few seconds towards his lips, and he knew he was doing he same thing, no matter how he tried to stop.
The world was frozen, but they leaned almost imperceptibly closer to each other, and the moment was suspended in time as a what if-
Until Leslie and Ann’s fight cut through the air suddenly, their drunken shouting draining whatever charge there had been to the air, and even though there was still distance between them they spring back onto their beanbags, desperate to pretend that whatever the hell that was hadn’t happened.
And that’s the end of it, until it isn’t.
It (re)starts like this; Evan wakes up at the beginning of senior year, and the tally mark was black instead of red (did it just turn or had it been like that for a long time?), and he thinks he might actually burst.
Instead, he took a sip of water and attempted to clear his head, which might have worked if not for the text that lit up his phone shortly after he got his bearings.
It was from Zoe.
so-we should probably talk, right?
And so it really starts like-no, that’s not the start.
It’s one step on a road for them, but it’s far from the start.
It continues where Evan meets Zoe in Ellison Park, and there’s a kind of nervousness hanging around them both, but then Zoe caught his eye and smiled and everything inside of him stilled, because if Zoe’s there to smile at him then everything will be okay.
She always made him quiet, in the best way.
Zoe stood, and Evan noticed that she was biting her lip again, something so quintessentially Zoe that he could barely repress a shout that builds its way through his throat that says I love her and she loves me! But luckily he managed it, since that’s effectively what they’re there to talk about.
Evan barely walked up to her and managed a breathless hey before Zoe grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down slightly to kiss him.
He actually thought he had died and gone to heaven for that first second, before he regained his memory and could actually process holy shit Zoe Murphy is kissing me I’m kissing Zoe Murphy we’re kissing holy shit.
Far too soon, Zoe pulled back and lets go of his shirt, stepping away a little. Her cheeks were colored red and she quickly ran a hand over her face, across the freckles he came to love so much. She smiled that unbelievable smile, but she paused for a moment, starting to-apologize? “I’m really sorry, I know we came her to talk, but I’ve wanted to do that for so long and I-”
Evan cut her off by closing the distance between them, cupping her cheek, and pressing his lips to hers again.
She wraps her arms around his neck almost immediately, melting into the kiss, and Evan wrapped his other arm around her lower back. He pulled away for another moment, but this time only to whisper “I love you”-which, in a world where love wasn’t visible, may seem too soon, but here became the most natural progression-and smile so hard he wondered if he’d ever stop smiling when she whispered back “I love you too.”
Tracing a thumb over her cheek, mapping the freckles like stars, Evan took a moment just to appreciate where he was right then, finally with the girl he loved above all else, before swooping in for another kiss.
It started like this; Evan believed in love again.
#soulmate au#bandtrees#dear evan hansen#deh#evan hansen#zoe murphy#my love#my fanfic#zoevan#my works#some things are meant to be#my series#deh fanfic#jared kleinman
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Dear Evan Hansen AU
I need a Deh au where Connor and Evan are soulmates, but when they meet each other, they both think that they are not worthy of the other person and start arguing about it. They start by just talking shit about themselves and then start to passive-aggressively compliment each other.
“You don’t want to be stuck with the guy that has daddy issues.” “Oh and you /do/?”
“I can’t talk to people without having a panic attack.” “Well I can’t talk to people without punching something.”
“I have to take pills every morning just to feel somewhat okay.” “Well I get high just to feel somewhat okay. Can’t you smell that freshly smoked weed on my jacket?”
“I tried to kill myself 3 times. Once by trying to hang myself, the second time by jumping off a bridge, and the third by trying to overdose. My parents even took my bedroom door because I’m such a problem.” “Well at least someone /noticed/ when you tried.”
“You’re pretty.” “Well you’re the smartest guy I’ve ever met.”
And then Jared just standing to the side like ‘wtf is happening here?’
#deh#dear evan hansen#evan hansen#connor murphy#soulmate#au#passive agressive#self deprecation#self deprecating humor#gay#tree bros#suicde#idk what im doing
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