#eugh quality sucks but what can you do

[forlorn-crows]

quick little thing to write: mounty begging rainy to pleaseplease open his legs and let him see his cunt we wants to kiss so bad

two days of ghoul cunt in a row eat up fuckers

what is quick to us will certainly not be quick with rain in charge . . . transmasc rainy as always, you know the drill

Mountain could watch for hours how rivulets of water flow over Rain’s naked form; clear veins of his element clinging to his skin in entrancing lighting-shaped patterns that draw his eyes all the way down to his toes. He watches as the pathways along his back fork and morph as his mate washes his hair. They zigzag along the ridge of fins on either side of his spine and cut across his ribs, just to meet again at the little divots in his lower back and snake down to the backs of his thighs. Mountain can’t help but reach out and divert the flow, running his palms along his torso with a happy rumble. 

“All you ever do is ogle me,” Rain complains with a false pout. “Can’t ever be bothered to use those hands to scrub instead of grope, hm?”

“I like your grime; why would I ever wash it off?” Mountain counters with a nip to his soapy ear. “I’d let you be my slimy fishy forever,” he whispers against the shell of it, using his proximity to wrap his arms around his waist and pull him against his chest with a self-satisfied trill. 

“Eugh. You’re a nasty beastie.” Rain swats at him with the end of his tail, fins slapping wetly against Mountain’s calf. 

“Your nasty beastie.” He hooks his chin over the water ghoul’s shoulder, face straight into the shower spray. It’s pleasantly warm, warmer than Rain usually likes, for Mountain’s sake. He hums at the shampoo-scented steam swirling around their faces, some beachy coconut variety that Rain nicked from one of their tour hotels—rare that he even likes any of the scents, let alone approves of the quality enough to use and take home. “Mm, you smell good.”

“I better,” Rain says airily. But he turns to give the earth ghoul a kiss anyway. It’s a small peck that turns into a lingering kiss, and that, paired with Mountain’s morning wood, turns into a full makeout session, all hopes of using the shower for its intended purpose gone down the drain with the last of Rain’s shampoo. 

“You’re too easy, my love,” the water ghoul teases against his lips. 

Mountain presses fully against his back, the hands on his waist drifting up towards his tits. He gently palms them both and ruts into the cleft of his ass, rumbling deep in his chest when Rain sighs prettily into his mouth. The earth ghoul licks in then, twirling his tongue around sharp double fangs. 

“How can I not be, sharing a shower with a beautiful siren like you?”

Rain smiles and reaches back to grab at Mountain’s outer thighs. Pulling his hips more purposefully against him as he arches into all of his touch. “Mm, keep saying nice things,” he says with a hint of mischief. 

“So gorgeous,” Mountain mumbles, grazing his lips against his sharp jaw. He sucks at the spot below his ear and earns a pleased huff from the water ghoul. He keeps going, dragging his mouth over fluttering gill fins and the soft skin of his neck. “Taste so good, tadpole.” 

Rain nuzzles against him. “You tell me often.”

“And I’ll keep telling you,” Mountain answers. He kneads harder at Rain’s tits as he moves to kiss over his shoulders, his spine. “You’re so soft. Like silk.” The words make him bite back a groan. Mountain echoes the sound with one of his own. Cock kicking against the back of Rain’s thigh as he sinks further down. “Fuck, you always make the prettiest noises. Will you make more for me?” 

Mountain’s hands drag down the front of Rain’s torso, coming to rest on his lower belly. Fingers playing with his damp happy trail, up and down. He’s soft there too, normally fluffy hair smoothed down by the water and coated in conditioning body wash. Could spend hours just there, too, playing with it. But Mountain shifts his attention and plants a kiss right above the base of his tail, and Rain breathes a cross between a laugh and a moan. Mountain can feel his stomach spasm under his hands. 

“Yeah,” he says softly, lifting his tail and swaying his hips. Making sure Mountain gets more than a delicious eyefull. “How ‘bout you make me?” Rain turns and looks down at him with a smirk and still-tired eyes. The smell of his arousal hits him like a brick, amplified in the humid air. Mountain shudders and lets his face fall forward into the small of Rain’s back, nose pressing flat into one of the dimples just above his ass. Snuffling like a dog to take in as much of his smell as possible. 

“Fuck,” he sighs. “Fuck, Rain.” Mountain’s mouth waters with the need to taste that arousal, cock bobbing to full hardness against his stomach. “Belial, I need you.”

Rain hums. “”M right here.”

“Let me see,” he pleads, hands sliding down the front of his thighs. “Please, need to kiss it, let me—”

“Yeah? You want it bad?”

Mountain whines, pathetic in his need for Rain’s cunt. “Please, darling, please don’t tease.” He brings his hands around to that perky round ass, grabbing both of his cheeks and spreading just so he can see a little more. The sight of his pink hole above perfectly dusky lips almost does him in right there. 

“Go on, put your mouth on it,” the water ghoul groans, leaning forward onto the shower tiles and spreading his legs. “Show me how much you want it.”

Rain’s lips spread apart as if in slow motion, obscene and sinful and wet as they separate in front of Mountain’s face, and the earth ghoul forgets how to breathe for a good five seconds. The stream of the shower morphs again and diverts a line right down to Rain’s dick. Mountain catches himself drooling as the water trickles off the little head, reminding him of soaked laps and wet sheets and endless orgasms squeezed out on his cock, and it’s so violent an image that he has to grab at himself to keep from shooting over Rain’s ankles. 

“Fuck, how’re you this perfect,” he growls. Without further hesitation, Mountain flips himself to sit between his legs, hands on either side of Rain’s feet, and nose pressed firmly into his mound. He darts his tongue out to lap at his clit, groaning as he coaxes it to full hardness in his mouth. The musky, salty taste of him grows stronger the longer he suckles at the tip, and Mountain could jerk off to just the sight of Rain above him, looking over his tits with heavy eyes and plush bottom lip sucked into his mouth. 

“That’s it,” the water ghoul breathes. “Shit, you kiss it so good.” He keens at a particularly hard suck, and both of their eyes roll.

“Pretty,” Mountain mumbles against his folds. Dipping a little lower so he can really taste them. 

“That fucking nose, sunflower,” Rain gasps. He drops a hand down to his horns, gripping the base of it so he can grind from tip to bridge. “Feels so good.”

A jolt of pleasure runs down his spine, and it rips an embarrassing, garbled noise straight from his gut. “Satanas, Rainy, use me,” he blurts out. 

Rain huffs a laugh. “You’d suffocate if I used you how I really wanted.”

A glob of pre fit to rival a water ghoul squirts from the tip of his dick, and he stutters into his entrance: “I’d—fuck, I’d let you.” 

“Hh-oh,” Rain gasps. “Sit on you ‘til your eyes cross.” He grinds again, smiling lazily. “So cute when you do that. Drunk on me like a dog with a good bone, huh?”

Mountain groans long and deep, gripping Rain’s thigh like a vice. Eyes threatening to cross just as mentioned. 

Rain shakes his head, hips bucking. “Are you gonna wring one out of me in here, or are you gonna let me ride your face on the bed like a good boy?”

“‘M your good boy,” he parrots back, eyebrows turning up in the middle. 

Rain twists the water to OFF and reluctantly steps away from Mountain’s mouth. “Then you better get out of this shower in the next minute, or I’m taking you right here on the tile.”

[insipid-drivel]

Your follow-up to the horse info post is just as good as the first one, and I offer a sincere thanks because those sorts of posts take forever, and are a lot of work.

But the reason I’m sending this is because of the joy of seeing the horsey prosthetics. I was aware that injury didn’t and doesn’t mean instant euthanasia, but I didn’t know what advances had been made and it’s a lovely thing to be able to help a friend live their best life.

For instances where euthanasia is the only course of action, would that be something like a horse has sustained a break that has gone septic in a time prior to antibiotics? So the horse would likely die anyway and it would be more humane to put it down than to let nature run its course, I’m thinking. Or is that completely wrong?

Thanks again for all of the hard work you put into these posts and answers!

Eugh, infections are a really horrible and scary part of horse health crisis management, because they can be very touch-and-go depending on where the actual infection is and how early it's treated with antibiotics. Once sepsis has taken hold, there usually isn't a lot modern medicine can do but try to provide comfort measures through medications, and pump the horse with large-bore doses of IV antibiotics, stress-reducing medications to keep them from panicking and their bodies from working too hard, and fluids while hoping the immune system is still strong enough to put the antibiotics to use and win against a case of sepsis. Sometimes, the bacterial load in the body is just too much or the infection has caused irreparable damage to a critical organ like the heart, and there isn't any other way to show the animal mercy but to euthanize. Most cases of sepsis, before death, result in a comatose state before the body completely shuts down from multiple organ failure, and it's an extremely miserable way to die. So yes, when euthanasia is discussed with horses, it's primarily when there is nothing else that can be done to make the horse's quality of life better while its suffering is only going to get worse (usually resulting in death) regardless of veterinary science or a limitless budget.

The problem with antibiotics in general is that they take time to work. If you've ever been miserable from something like a UTI or a chest infection, you know waiting 2-3 days for oral antibiotics to fully kick in sucks (IV antibiotics tend to work much faster, but still take a bit of time to reach full potency), because the infection is still there and causing intense pain and discomfort. The reason it takes so long is because antibiotics stimulate an immune system into going ham on an infection and destroying it. If there isn't enough time, or the immune system is already shot, then antibiotics may not be enough. End-stage or late-stage sepsis in pretty much any mammal is pretty much gonna be deadly, because sepsis is commonly called "blood poisoning" and kills by causing multiple essential organs to stop working in rapid succession - brain, heart, liver, lungs, etc. - like fairy lights on a string going out one by one after the first light fails. "Too far gone" happens, and that's when euthanasia becomes an open subject, because there's nothing left to anticipate for the animal but more suffering before they're going to die of their infection/injury.

Good vets will ALWAYS try to fight until the bitter end to provide options and other forms of intervention in saving an animal's life from disease or injury, but they also are specifically trained to know when a situation is just too beyond what they're capable of addressing and when continuing to try to treat an animal is only going to prolong its suffering before it inevitably succumbs to death. That's why prosthetics are becoming a thing for horses now! The cost of 3D printers have been going down, more designs for prosthetics are being published, and better materials are being employed for optimal horse comfort and recovery. Most injuries that result in a disabled leg in horses are caught and treated rapidly by owners and vet teams with no serious infections setting in, and so the main reason euthanasia has been employed for leg breaks and cases of amputation was more for preventing the horse from suffering without a mobility aid or prosthetic. Now, humans are catching up and figuring out what materials and structural designs work best in prostheses for horses, and we're seeing a huge increase in cases of horses surviving and living long, happy lives even after losing a leg!

[emperorhyperi0n]

I read a review of Gotchard recently where they tried to do the detached and critical thing with a "I'm not mad just disappointed" angle and to be fair they do have a point in that Gotchard does have a bit of potential that's never acted upon that could increase the quality of things, along with the writing at the end being a little lackluster compared to what came before.

however. they kinda pissed away all the good aspects of the review when they just pivoted to bashing anything that happened in or past the Legend crossover. and they're really weird about it?

like. they called Nijigon the "Scrappy-Doo" of Kamen Rider. like what the fuck? Nijigon only existed as an actual character for three episodes. what do you mean. does the small dragon doing a dance with idols not fill you with whimsy. like. really? really? I can't deny that there are problems in the latter half but like. that's the hill you're dying on? that's the main specific thing? you don't even give the Lachesis thing a mention (and they don't even mention Rinne's existence, calling Spanner the Second Rider which. eugh.) beyond like half a line but you dedicate a full few sentences to Nijigon?

It's just... emblematic of a lot of the problems I see with negative Gotchard reviews where there's a very uncompromising view of the show. Due to the cardinal sin of Bad Writing it all sucks in the end, for as many factors as they can think of. There's no nuance.

It's not a bad review, but... it is disappointing.

[cooking-with-hailstones]

Fandom as a cocktail bar: a somewhat overwrought metaphor

I've had a realization about being a multi shipper

I treat fandom like a bar, and I personally love trying new drinks.

This metaphor is about to get really extended so bear with me lol.

I usually go for beer - not a cheap mass produced one, I like a craft beer. One that was made with some creativity, with good quality ingredients. I'll take a beer when I go out, or when I'm home and unwinding after a long day. I love sampling beers anytime I go somewhere new. (Read a new fic author)

(In this metaphor zelink is beer. I even make my own beer! And zelink is the only fanfic I've ever seriously written)

I also love gin! Gin (another ship -let's say Revalink, or Sidlink) is delicious and I love drinks with gin. I don't drink it every day or even every week but when I see it on the menu at the bar, I'll definitely order a gin cocktail. Especially if it's a bar (author) I've read before and I like what they do.

Rum (another ship - eg zelgan) maybe isn't my favorite, but there's a few specific cocktails made with rum that I really like. I don't like rum and coke (ship in xyz situation, trope) but I love a mojito (same ship written in a different dynamic - tale of two rulers, you continue to have me in a chokehold)

There's lots of other drinks that I'm curious about but haven't tried very much. Schnapps? Jaeger? Tequila? Absinthe? All very different things I'm curious to try more of. Also if my friend home brews something I'm gonna try it to be supportive and give them feedback.

There's also so many great non alcoholic cocktails that are super creative and tasty. And yanno, sometimes I've got a lot of work to do or I need to focus and I don't wanna drink alcohol (get super sucked into/emotionally wrecked by a story) but I still want something delicious and complex that isn't gonna mess me up, and also that I can serve to kids!

Now me personally, I absolutely LOATHE super salty or savoury drinks. Olive martinis? Bloody Marys? Eugh no thank you. But boy HOWDY some folks LOVE those drinks and yanno what? Even if I think Bloody Mary's are gross as hell I still want the bar to serve a bloody Mary to those who want one. Especially if the bartender loves making them and is really good at them. That's awesome!

Some people are much more picky about their drinks. Some people will not (or cannot, for several valid reasons) drink Jaeger. Or sherry. Some people might HATE anything with gin and think I'm crazy for liking gin so much, but, hey, to each their own. Some people really don't like beer and don't understand why everyone's so obsessed with it and why it's freaking everywhere. 😝

There are lots of delicious and creative drinks to suit everyone's tastes, young and old, sweet tooth and spice fiends alike. Let's indulge a little, shall we?

[theinkedfoxsl]

was that questions post like an oc ask game but for you instead? i bet other people have asked questions but i want ALL OF THEM. bc i think u are so cool. please :3 n for 36: what is your very favorite time of day and why?

HHHHHHH

What is your nickname?

Len :3

When is your birthday?

I don't celebrate it! But I celebrate my name day on October 29th

What was your longest relationship?

5 years this June with Henrik :D

What is your favorite book?

Ripper by Stefan Petrucha. I was obsessed with it as a child

What is something you're insecure about?

Rn? My voice cracks. They're pretty bad with where I'm at on T and they embarrass me

5 Male celebrity crushes

Pedro Pascal, Joaquin Phoenix, Nic Cage, Ryan Gosling, and Hugh Jackman

5 Female celebrity crushes

Can I put Natalie Dormer for all of them? But her, Salma Hayek, Nicole Kidman, Jessica Alba, and Kesha!

What is your dream job?

I wanted to be a writer for a game company.

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

Landing Henrik- uhm but no, finishing the Ambros Twins. It meant a lot to me, and I put in a lot of work for it. Even if I don't go there anymore.

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

ALL OF MY WEIRD FACTS PEOPLE GO "that makes sense" SO IDK?? I'm afraid of the ocean?

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Eugh,, the lady at the blood clinic has been really transphobic and ableist to me the last two times I've went and its really sucked. Today was particularly bad cause the barista and some random girls were also quite rude. But! I ordered my cane and I'm so so excited to get it! I also got a skin I wanted in Outlast Trials!

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

I wanna go back to Germany, it was so nice. But I want to visit Munich next time!

How do you de-stress?

Stressful video games :3

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

Discord! All my friends are in there.

Describe yourself in one sentence.

Exhausted and blunt but kind

What do you think makes you attractive?

My fierce determination to make things work even when I'm on a wire. The people I love, I love dearly. And they know that. I think its an attractive quality to have, to care so deeply about others.

What is something you're really good at?

Writing! I'm also really good at listening.

What is something you're really bad at?

ADVICE- I can listen but not give advice. I'm also fucking awful at soulslike games we've discovered (nobody is surprised)

A time that you told a lie.

Pretty much every day. I'm a compulsive liar, I'm working on it.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Some ladybugs can have no spots!

Who knows you the best?

Rowan or Henrik I think

What is your most prized possession?

My engagement ring.

What is your longest friendship?

MAX! I've known him since I was 16! Almost ten years yeesh

When did you first feel like an adult?

I still don't sometimes. But I'd just moved into my apartment on the lake to be closer to my job and I was sitting on this empty living room floor and I realised that I was well and truly alone. I wasn't a child at home anymore. I was alone and I was an adult.

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

I played volleyball, baseball, and I did track.

How are you feeling right now?

Like I said bad day, so I'm a bit sad. But I'm watching Max play Lies of P and I'm hanging with friends so hopefully better soon.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Chemical reaction at first sight lol

Favorite song lyrics right now?

"I'm blinded, how am I to find a path that's righteous?"

What does self care look like for you?

iced coffee and nap

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

Tonight Alive, Icon for Hire, Hollywood Undead

What makes you nervous?

everything

What’s a pet peeve you have?

CUTTING ME OFF CAUSE I WALK WEIRD GO AWAY

What will always make you cry?

Tadashi ):

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

Unpleasant. A lot of people don't like me. That's okay

what is your very favorite time of day and why?

3am! When I'm hanging out and its dark and things are quiet and I can just breathe

[quodekash]

Viren sucks but also maybe kind of not?

Hello there friend! If you haven’t seen a post by me before, you should know that this is part of a series I’m calling “tdp rambles with bj” (me being bj (which is a nickname ive had since I was 3)), you absolutely don’t have to read the others to understand each one, each part is individual. But if you liked some of the things I talk about or the way I’ve analysed things, you are very welcome to check out the tag (it’ll be the top tag for this post) and have a look at some of the other stuff I’ve done! You don’t have to, I just thought you might like to if you enjoyed this. Thanks!!

Anyway, into the analysis! (It’s a lot longer than I initially thought it was so brace yourselves)

(Also, once again, apologies in advance for the bad quality photos)

“Each of you standing here today, you betray humanity!” 

It’s interesting to me that he uses the word “standing”, because in that moment, Viren is actually the only one standing. Everyone else, they’re sitting down. They haven’t done anything to betray humanity. But Viren, he’s standing. He’s trying to destroy what last little dregs of hope there are left to bond with Xadia. 

And (I think) we rarely ever see Viren sitting. He’s always standing. Sure, he sits sometimes, like once when inspecting the mirror. He sits on a horse. He sits dramatically on the throne. But most of the time, he’s standing. Most of the time, he’s betraying humanity. (And arguably when he’s sitting he’s still actively betraying humanity but that doesn’t go towards my point/metaphor thing so we’re ignoring that) 

But then in season 4, he’s sitting. A lot. I know he was just dead so he’s low on energy. But in most scenes, he’s sitting on the ground, letting Claudia and Terry (but mostly Claudia) do all the work. 

(And I was saving this particular ramble for later for continuity, but who cares about chronology, barely anyone’s gonna see this anyway so I might as well do it out of order, so.) LETS TALK ABOUT VIREN 

First and foremost I want it to be known that overall I still hate Viren, he’s horrible, he’s abusive, he’s a terrible father, he’s manipulative, and he kills butterflies to make his face normal. 

Ah but… that last thing. He kills butterflies to make his face normal. All throughout the entire show, from episode 1, we see him using dark magic to hide the effects dark magic has had on him (physically, at least, but the physical reflects the internal so it really doesn’t matter). But then, in season 4, his face is normal. And he uses no dark magic at all. 

Now, I could go on a rant about how this is a social commentary and it’s about society and society sucks cos it makes us change ourselves physically to appease to what is socially accepted but I won’t. 

Instead, let’s talk about… uh, not that. 

So. A lot of the time while watching seasons 1-3, I think about how carefree Viren was in all of those flashback scenes, and how… he definitely wasn’t a good person, but I felt like I could kind of see why Harrow kept him around for so long. But then in all the present day scenes he was horrible and mean and smelly and eugh. And then, after two years of being dead, he’s so different. 

I’m absolutely certain, and you cannot change my mind on this (well… maybe you can but I highly doubt it), that Viren was a good person. But all good people have bad parts. And dark magic affects what’s inside, especially after such a long time. The dark magic made all the bad parts inside him deepen and grow, until the good parts were hidden under the surface. But there’s still some hope, the good stuff is still there, slightly visibile! But then Aaravos came along. And the good parts were drowned, buried so deep they shrunk, and then you couldn’t see them at all. Still there, but so small even he didn’t know they were there. 

And then he died. He didn’t have dark magic swirling through his system, affecting his every being. He didn’t have Aaravos whispering in his ear, influencing him, manipulating him, making those bad parts grow. He just existed. (But I suppose he didn’t exist because he was dead?) 

He just… floated, I guess. Not alive. So he couldn’t be affected by anything at all. 

And I think a lot of those bad parts slowly started disappearing. But, since he was dead, there was no way for the good parts to grow. So in season 4, there’s these tiny  little nuggets of good hidden in this expanse of nothingness, and the occasional drifting badness. He’s so empty inside now, and I think over time he can improve and grow those good parts, he just hasn’t had a chance yet. 

And yeah, there was that part at the end where Viren did some dark magic again. But then, immediately, in the credits you see the little sketches, and two or three of them are Viren collapsing and Claudia and Terry trying to hold him up.

The dark magic was so sudden, so different to the emptiness of two years. The darkness in the abyss was starting to take over, and it grew so dramatically and he couldn’t handle it. Maybe the little nuggets of good act like white blood cells, fighting off the disease of dark magic, and made him pass out as a defence strategy. Kind of like sneezing. Dust (or something that’s not supposed to be in your nose) gets in your nose, so your body tries to forcefully get it out and makes you sneeze. And I’m just realising when Callum uses dark magic for the first time, it overwhelms him and he passes out. So it’s possible that Viren’s gonna have a dream that mirrors what happened to Callum and he’s gonna have an epiphany and truly realise that dark magic isn’t the way? 

But yeah, there’s so much emptiness inside him, and there’s just tiny little good pebbles, but then a sudden cloud of darkness blew over, and it was such a dramatic change to what he’d been for two years, that his body needed to conserve energy in order to fight the darkness (or at least try and get used to it) so it made him pass out. 

Claudia, though… she’s had Aaravos whispering in her ear for two whole years. “[She] had do to things [she] never imagined [she] was capable of doing.” And each one of those indescribable horrible things made the bad parts grow, the good parts shrink. 

Her hair is a good representation of it. The darkness hasn’t taken over her completely, there’s still that smidgen of hope. It’s not as extreme as it was for Viren, where his entire face looked completely different. Claudia’s hair is only about 50% taken over, which means her… soul, I guess, is only 50% taken over by darkness. But I think that’s only because she was doing the most extreme dark magic things for people she loved, i.e. saving soren, saving viren. So there’s those good parts, the parts that care for her family and friends. But they’re almost faded. They’re there, but faded. Like, if the good parts were a colour, let’s say yellow, hers would be less of a canary and more of a light goldenrod that’s breaking apart into smaller pieces. So overall it’s still about 50%, but rather than a whole lot of it super vivid, it’s really light and broken up. Like it could all disappear at any given moment.  And with Aaravos having been inside her head for two whole years, it’s like he’s constructed a fragile bridge out of her good parts, and bounced on it with all his might. 

There’s probably more to talk about, but I’ve been trying to figure out what that is for four days and still haven’t gotten there, so if I think of it later I’ll make another post or something. 

There’s only two rambles with bj left (that I currently have planned, but there’s probably gonna be more coming), and they’re the biggest ones so I keep putting it off.  One of them is a whole analysis of why Viren is a horrible father (specifically to Soren but also to Claudia but more-so to Soren), and there’s so much research and specific screenshots I need to find for it and I will do it I just haven’t found the motivation yet  And the other is an entire explanation of why Terry and Claudia’s relationship feels weird and my thoughts of Terry and currently the title is “everything to do with Terry” and I’m pretty sure that one’s also gonna be a long one that’ll take a lot of time cos I’ve personally never been in a romantic relationship so I might need to do research and ask people things and rewatch season 4 a million times to psychoanalyse Terry and figure out What His Deal is cos I have no clue as of right now and I’ll need to figure that out for that post and yeah. 

So don’t expect anything big from me in terms of tdp for the next little while. They will be there, just not until I can find my motivation. (Which sucks cos I’ve literally had a whole week of absolutely nothing and so much time and so much energy but no motivation at all, and I just know I’m only gonna feel like doing it when I finally have something going on.) 

Anyway that’s that, Viren sucks but also he’s kinda getting better and it’s confusing me so much pls I’m trying to hate him, I’ll post more at some point, I love you all, have a great day, bye! 

[mangoisms]

omg i hadn’t even thought about the hierarchy of needs in that way, it actually makes a lot of sense, but yeah that’s actually a really good idea thank you! and yeah thank you so much for the help i really appreciate it, i’ve been just having like a ton of fun connecting certain characters to psych so yeah. also i will definitely give those a read! i think they’ll fit really well with the stuff i’ve already got too, and i needed more examples to do you also just saved me like an hour of searching so i am forever indebted to you 🙏🏼. i’ll definitely elaborate on that more in the project and let you know how i do lolol.

and since we’re doing memory rn (thank god we moved past the anatomy stuff. eugh. anyways. ) i connected tim’s recollection of the night dicks parents died in a lonely place of dying to arousal theory, and flashbulb memory, since he said he had nightmares about it which in my opinion was a pretty solid connection so i’m fairly confident i’ll get those points

but yeah i have seen some jason and babs stuff here and there and it’s just?? odd. but like i don’t dislike it enough to not read something that has it lol so yeah i’ll check those out! ALSO off topic but i saw something once about bruce and babs?? like they were kissing. and stuff. which is??? um??? it was animated but i have no idea what it was but i did not like it 😭

totally meant to answer this earlier so sorry!!! but!! here i am <3

of course! super happy to help! it's kind of niche really HAHA talking about psych and the bats, so it is very fun to do it!

glad you're having a better time in class now too!!! i had registration for the spring this week and we had like. three options for our singular elective and all of them kind of sucked so i had to go with human cognition which i am Very Scared about but a classmate whose advisor is the prof for the class says his classes are easy/the prof is nice so i am hopeful ��� that it will be ok 😭

that's really neat though!!! i have to be honest i had to google some of that it has been Very Long since i had my intro class... super cool though!!! i hope you get points for that too hehe it certainly sounds like a good connection!

i was thinking of bruce and lifespan perspective theory (in developmental psych ^_^ since i'm taking that class rn), there's something called multifinality and equifinality. multifinality is usually when people have similar backgrounds but it is still possible for them to end up in very different places or with different outcomes. equifinality is sort of the opposite, where different initial conditions or experiences can lead to similar outcomes or developmental trajectories.

i think there's something to be said about equifinality and bruce losing his parents at a young age and being defined by that, then becoming the batman as a result of it, then you look at tim who, initially, had both of his parents, became robin, then lost his mom, and then lost his dad, and ultimately wound up as an orphan too. they started in very different places and ended up in similar ones.

i wanted to use dick and bruce for multifinality (similar beginnings and all) but i do wonder if their outcomes are that different... you know what i am going to go with, yeah, they are different, dick deserves that much HAHA i won't say he's turned out like bruce, i don't think he has LOL

anyway kind of got carried away with that but YEAH. god i should've brought that up in class. anyway LMAO

no yeah three jokers is questionable in quality i only re-read it for the pretty art HAHA. and oooh yeah i've heard about that... it is SO weird... babs i'm gonna get u out of there i swear...

ANYWAY! good luck with everything <333

[aurriearts]

(no audio bc I’m bad + awkward at talking lmao why are my hands so ORANGE?????)

tried filming an instagram style video with my dad’s tripod recording myself fidgeting with the book pendant i made (this one is the bi-ble/bisexual agenda variant 😎) to show off how it moves! (i think I got a couple bruises trying to set up recording, ow :

It’s been a while since I’ve done a book pendant but it’s definitely a step up in complexity from the last few I’ve done. (worked out how to make it from scratch like … uhhhh…. I think two years ago now? had to grok the proportions and the design with bead mentor’s help as I went along bc I was REALLY into peyote and nothing else at the time, herringbone SUCKED and still SUCKS AND I HATE THAT STITCH and I was tired of doing spiral stitch over and over) 

The way that both peyote and brick stitch (and I guess most things in beading in general) works is that it uses beading thread and not glue to put the beads together so they can still move, thus why the final piece, both the cover and the pages are flexible and I can move them like above. You can even roll the beads in place if you hold it in the right place and apply the right amount of pressure (not a lot, it’s still pretty delicate, but still), so it’s very stimmy! (at risk of causing the colours to fade/coating to come off but the weathered look I feel sells the book look)

If you want a REALLY in-depth thing about how I made it, that’s under the read more below! :D

Did peyote for the book cover and the pages with “writing” in rose gold colour  (apparently? that’s what it’s technically named, also did them for the corners of the cover to make it look a little bit more book-like) metallic delicas on them and brick stitch for the bee page. I don’t think the bee wings show up well against the crystal luster I used for the background - it’s a soft irregular pinky purple silver metal. Seeming as it’s opaque and the glass beads aren’t, if you put it up against a light, or even angle it so that the light source isn’t directly above like it is here, you could tell them apart more easily.

(while they make the same product in the end, there are some key differences; peyote is far more forgiving AND faster once you know what you’re doing if you want to undo, but brick stitch at least you can see where you’re going wrong at the start as it’s a straight row and not filling in the gaps, or “teeth” for complicated designs that aren’t symmetrical, if not the turns are a little annoying having to increase every row to stop it from decreasing automatically. When it’s irregularly shaped things or complicated designs, brick’s your go to. I learnt that the hard way trying to do the bee page in peyote and kept getting disheartened :/ The bee page was too small and the wings couldn’t show up at all so I had to use a combination of brick and peyote to add a one bead wide border all around, meant I also had to extend the cover to make sure it fit inside, but looked much better. I got there in the end!)

So after making everything individually I sewed the pages individually onto the jump rings by looping through the rings and the teeth until it was secure enough but still let the pages move on the rings to act like paper (kind of). They all had to be the same orientation, or it wouldn’t work and would look wonky, so I had to plot out their designs and make sure I stuck to them and didn’t make mistakes.

You might notice the fuchsia is a little worn away - that’s because it’s a galvanised metal delica that the other colours making up the flag aren’t, so the coating’s come off as I’ve worked with it - the middle purple stripe is just glass (and even then it’d be wrong to call it a solid PURPLE since its edges are indigo and kinda fades into violet which I Love, I really want to do something else with it), and the deep blue is a silverlined type that looks pale unless you use the right colour bead thread - considering colours and material/finish is more important than you’d think!

To make the book wearable, I made a loop of the same delicas about ¼ of the way down the “spine” so it could hang diagonally - with an odd number in the loop too so that there isn’t a gap at the top with the jump ring on where it could slip off the thread at the join - and went through that to secure it so the chain could be passed through it easily. There’s a couple loose threads where I messed up that didn’t go entirely through where I got sloppy, but because it was purple it doesn’t show up much against the flag colours of the cover.

Aaaaand then one part pages kept coming off the jump ring so bead mentor had to twist them both open and close them tighter with pliers (I’d forgotten to do that, :

FINALLY tidying up the threads that had come out, I used a clear nail polish to get them to set so it wouldn’t come undone after I snipped the ends with a bead cutter. Also made it SMELL a whole lot of varnish and changed the texture up a little so it became a little stiffer, but it gave a little more gloss too for some extra pop.

[carriagelamp]

February 2020 Book Review

The Last Wish / Sword Of Destiny

Let’s start with the books that currently have me in a stranglehold. I apologize to everyone that actually follows me and watched me descend into fandom pits but whatcha gonna do. So, I was aware of the video game when it came out, but not being a prolific gamer I was intrigued but never bothered getting into it. Then the Netflix series came out, and I was again intrigued... but I suck at sitting down and watching shows. So what the heck I decided, it’s probably mediocre hypermasculine high fantasy but let’s try a book to see what the fuss is all about.

Good god. Guys. It’s real good. And so fucking different from the show. Geralt is actually a really emotional, well-meaning guy who’s starved for positive social interactions and is just trying to do his best. And the books’ consistent themes of colonialism, environmental destruction, forced extinction, and changing eras is... chilling and fascinating and honestly a little too relatable at times. These books have made me laugh and shout and frankly sob. Still a little sexist, cause 90s fantasy, but Geralt is so not the gruff, heartless, manly man character I thought he would be. I am so deeply into these and have just cracked the spine of the next book in the series. If you like high fantasy, I can’t recommend these enough.

The Silver Eyes

I just learnt that there were Five Nights At Freddy’s books, and honestly picked this up from the library as a joke for my brother. We’d played the games back when they first came out, and were into the lore, but lbr they’re more of a meme at this point. Anyway, we ended up reading this out loud to each other, a chapter a night, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Probably wouldn’t have liked it as much on my own, but the main character was complicated and messy, and the book’s way or portraying trauma was neat. It was nominally horror, and did have the occasional chilling moment, or times it was fun to speculate, it over all it was pretty run of the mill middle grade fiction.

FRNK

Probably the best graphic novel I’ve read this month. 

I was howling with laughter while I read it. Good quality Belgium comics, always a treat. This story is about a modern day boy, Frank, who is accidentally thrown back into prehistoric times, where he’s stuck with a bunch of cavemen who haven’t invented the concept of vowels yet. Admittedly my French isn’t great, so it made trying to decipher words with half the letters missing a challenge to say the least, but plenty worth it. I really want to get my hands on book two. I believe there’s an English translation, and I’d recommend giving it a try.

Best Friends

A neat little graphic novel that addresses common growing up issues, about what it means to be friends, stay friends, how to cope with people changing and when it’s time to walk away. Anxiety, being yourself, fitting in, all that sort of stuff. It’s a quick read, very pleasant, and has nice art.

Karen’s Witch

Another cute graphic novel with charming art. I read this at the store while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled. It’s about this five year old (or thereabouts) who is absolutely determined that her neighbour is a witch and by god she is going to prove it or at least scare herself and her friend silly in the process. A fun little read!

Endling: The First

The second book in the Endling series, and all my praise for the first book apply here as well. A super unique high fantasy that gives extinct and threatened species a voice. The book explore themes of war, environmental destruction, sacrifice and loss. You really get to see how much Byx has grown and how much she needs to continue to grow. This book has me so excited for the third, I haven’t read such an emotionally rewarding quest novel in a long time.

Bleach

I found out my library has a billion books of this series and decided to jump into it again for the first time in over a decade. Honestly it’s even better than I remembered? The art is absolutely stunning, Ichigo is such a power fantasy hero, and it’s one of those series with a lot of really loveable characters and a lot of heart. Ichigo is a good guy who you actually feel good liking, which can’t be said for all shonen protags by any means. This is just such a classic and it holds up man. And if you like manga and have never read it? Jump in and enjoy a normal human getting supernatural powers and kicking absolutely enormous monsters’ asses.

Dinotopia: Sabertooth Mountain

This was my favourite Dinotopia book as a kid, and it was still fun to reread. The world of Dinotopia is one separate from the rest of the world, where humanity lives in perfect harmony with many prehistoric creatures that have managed to survive and evolve on the island of Dinotopia. This story is about a crisis brewing, as the sabertooths are cut off from their food supply and are in danger of not only starving but of bringing death to the rest of the mountain as well. While surveying the situation with his older sister, the main character finds himself falling from the airship in the middle of a storm, directly into the valley of starving sabertooths.

I read a bunch of this author’s graphic novels, and they are such feel-good queer lit. This was probably my favourite of the lot, but I also read Tea Dragon Society, Aquicorn Cove, and Princess Princess Ever After. Taking place in a picturesque mountain community, it’s about a girl meeting a guardian dragon who accidentally fell asleep in the mountains a century ago rather than watch over the village like intended. It’s about coming to terms with and loving yourself (and also about super cute little tea dragons).

Just Jaime

Another story that focuses on the complications of middle school, and how friends can grow and change, and when sometimes friendships become toxic and cruel. These are novel/graphic novel hybrids that are very visually appealing, and really do manage to tell very heartfelt stories. This one takes a side character from the earlier two books, and turns her from a very one dimensional, somewhat annoying character, into a fully realized person with her own issues and her own need for growth.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up / The Life-Changing Manga Of Tidying Up

Given that I’m not really a non-fiction person and DEFINITELY not a self-help book person, I really enjoyed these (though I didn’t read Spark Joy). I read the manga first, out of curiosity, but enough of it struck true that I decided to try the book as well. Have I cleaned anything up yet? No. But honestly, I can genuinely say that despite being repetitive at points I do truly feel like I got a lot of good out of it, and I feel much more excited and prepared when I do decide to do a big clean next. It really does reframe the relationship you have with your belongings and with yourself. I genuinely love the concept of “sparking joy”.

Bigfoot Boy: The Sound Of Thunder

Technically the last book of the series, whoops. Though honestly having read it I didn’t feel like I missed that much. It’s a Canadian graphic novel and I had... mixed feelings about it. Interesting and exciting in some ways, but the pacing was odd, and honestly I don’t think indigenous voices went into making it (I could be wrong but...) and it reads as kinda... eugh. Problematic. Having a none indigenous author write about a white boy being the guardian of a first nation totem and turning into a bigfoot isn’t a super cool optic.

Bloodchild

I was told “hey this is a really fucked up short story” so I read it, and guess what? It was a really fucked up short story. Would recommend if you want weird alien sex slavery bullshit-- it was a wild ride. And the overall themes obviously went a lot deeper than that, but honestly, it’s like a few dozen pages long if you wanna dig into all the philosophical shit, just give it a read! Uh, heavy content warning, tw tw tw, but a really bizarre, unsettling look at gender and power dynamics and oppression through a scifi lens.

Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIHM

I hadn’t read this book since elementary school so I reread it on a whim. It really is such a charming story. As far as animal stories go, this feels almost like the platonic ideal. Mother mouse is worried about her sick son and winds up compelled to seek out the mysterious rats who live in the rosebush for help, and is not only thrust into her own adventure but learns about the strange past her late husband shared with the rats of NIMH. It’s such a relaxing read, while still managing to be exciting and compelling.

Exploring According to Og the Frog

And one last animal story to round us off. I’d read one of the Humphrey books last month, and check out a couple more from the library for fun. I didn’t enjoy Mysteries According to Humphrey that much, but this one was charming, showing the world through Humphrey’s frog friend Og instead. The same charming type of adventure, but being a frog, Og has a very different attitude and view of the world, which was fun. Very cute elementary kid lit.

[babblish]

This is gonna be a lil negative, quite personal, and is most likely going to bum people out, so it’s gonna go under a cut so people don’t have to see that shit if they don’t want.

But damn, I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been sleeping badly or the progression of time, but this whole mostly housebound due to chronic illness thing is starting to get to me. It’s not the feeling very ill thing, because eugh... I am used to that, but goddamn the isolation. 

In... February? Possibly January? I went to see Little Women with my mother. (Good movie btw, best adaption ever imo) Apart from those twoish hours, for which there was medical payback, I haven’t actually left the house outside of short jaunts to appointments with medical professionals, blood tests, and the pharmacy to get drugs for months. Otherwise I’ve been stuck at home feeling shit with no one but my parents (and cats) as company that whole time. I don’t have friends who come to see me, I haven’t even seen my ex since before she broke up with me, and I get why this is and I don’t blame people for it, but STILL. 

It just really sucks being that person who everyone puts in the too hard basket because they have to put in extra effort to do anything with me and they have their own shit going on and cannot spare that right now. I mean, good for them taking the time to sort their lives out, it’s hard work to do that and I’m proud of them. But I’ve literally had people tell me to my face that they feel comfortable ignoring me for long periods of time because they know I’ll still be here when they come looking for me and it pisses me off because they’re right and I am that thirsty bitch who will give people who treat me like shit the time of day because I am that goddamn desperate to interact with someone even remotely my own age and not an immediate blood relative and caregiver.

Obviously I am grateful af for the internet and the wonderful people it gives me access to. And I try to keep myself as busy and positive as I can, but god it is frustrating here as a quest giving NPC. A significant amount of “positivity” and “motivators” online are unhelpful and sometimes downright toxic for me because they’re for people with mild depression and such. Seeing shit like “Get off your arse and stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you want more friends, go out and make more friends. Go for a walk, go to the gym, take up a life painting class, get outside your comfort zone. There’s a whole arse beautiful world out there!” etc just... draws my attention to how little agency I have in my life in that regard. There’s... not much more I can do to improve my quality of life outside of what I am already doing and that really sucks. It just really sucks.

[chrisbangs]

1-5 and 20-25 :-) sorry for all of them hehehe — 🖤 also i’m getting off work I WILL SEND U ANOTHER ASK HEHEHEH

oaiwenfoia you’re sooo c*te perhaps i’ll d*e………. hm………… anyway;; thank you angel (sorry it took me so long to do this ;; ___ ;;)

also this got mad long so i’ll put it under a cut! 

1. how did you get into graphics / gif making?

i was an early ‘the vamps’ and ‘5sos’ fan and because of that, i used to make lil graphic type things?? i guess?? like i tried to make stuff like the ones i saw online omg… and mine were soooo bad but it was like so fun and i used to use this online editor and it was trash but like i would have so much fun… (and that was back when i was in grade 7-ish..? so i would’ve been like jfjfiwaoefo 12/13) and then i just kept doing it;; eventually in grade 10 i took a graphic design course and i got a hold of photoshop and it blew my mind and from there i just kept kinda… doing it?? 

and with gifs omg… ok i swore i would never make gifs cause it looks SO complicated like bitch ill kill u what do u mean layers to frames wtf !!!!!!!!!!!! and then when i was in my first year of uni in around june i was like… omg i wanna try again… cause i’d tried it before and my ps just crashed… so i was like let me give this another go.. and i did… and it worked.. and my mind was like blown omg… i was in AWE… omg i just realized its been a whole year since i learned how to gif stop ill die 

gfx/gif questions

2. do you do something creative/related “irl” as well?

well!! i just got into college for graphic deisgn hehe;; so i’m hoping that that’ll be my future :’) 

3. who/what inspires your graphics / gifs?

hm, well!! whenever i see really great pieces of gfx or even in real life when i see a magazine piece or a billboard that just looks stunning i feel inspired!! and i’m like eugh i wanna try making smth like that ;; also music and movies and games inspire me sometimes?? but if i was to say who!! then it’d probably be all my amazing content creating mutuals!!! their work is always wowing!! i always tag ppls gfx with ‘gfx inspo’ bc im genuine :0 when i see it ;; ___ ;; like how is everyone so creative and talented;; 

4. what do you enjoy about making graphics / gifs?

oh wow, mm… it allows me to be creative? and put to use skills that i think aren’t always appreciated? like my p*rents never take me doing graphic design seriously;; but then recently my mom wanted me to make a lil label for her for a friend’s garden and i did and she was like !!!!!! so happy abt it i was like TT TT cause both my parents were finally like ok i get it sorta;; i really like that i’m able to make smth kinda outta nothing?? like art is really interesting bc you get to let your thoughts and experiences affect the outcome of your work so?? like.. i like that everyone has a different style?? 

and for gifs;; i really enjoy that its such a structured task like… its very.. orderly and routine based?? like i know what i’m doing everytime?? and the places where i get to change it up are like the colourings and the style of set i make and that makes it fun and creative too;; 

5. what do you dislike most about making graphics / gifs?

mm the creativity block;; i feel like sometimes i cannot think of ANYTHING to make and those days i feel kinda useless as a cc…… it sucks but foiawnefiawn eventually i’ll figure smth out if i move things around enough fajwefowaeo 

and giffing omg…… idk… probably the colouring process…… but thats majorly because my laptop’s screen displays colours kinda whack from how they actually look and so i have to do 2x the work to make sure it looks good and smdays its like idc anymore just post the set and pull the trigger 

20. your favourite fandom(s) to make graphics / gifs for?

for gfx it’s definitely stray kids!!! they have some of the most fun lyrics to work with and their concepts always always inspire me like crazy!!! 

for gifs its the tmg fandom! everyone in that fandom is suuuper nice and supportive and like;; even if i’m not always making gifs i dont feel like i’m falling behind or ? like ppl will be mad or smth ? like its a safe small community and bc of that it feels so good ;;; 

21. how much time do you spend on a single graphic / gif?

very dependent! gfx can take from like an hour to like a week+?? it just depends on how intense and intricate it is ig;; 

gifs are shorter;; probably take me a few hours?? the longest a set has taken me is maybe like 6 hours but that’s bc i was being slow about it and trying to find all the necessary parts! but on average itll take abt half an hour to maybe two for one set

21. what is your biggest improvement since you started making graphics and or gifs?

ogoaiweniogaw stop this is so funny.. i wanna go find my old wattpad covers so you can all cringe with me but… mm, with gfx i guess i learned what my Aesthetic™ was and what i really liked and like fjjfaiosdksfd i learned how to use photoshop which is a big thing lmaoooo……… and with gifs!! definitely my quality (shout out to vapoursynth) and my colouring :’) 

23. what is your biggest improvement in the past month?

hm… time management jfaiweoofiaw i’ve definitely gotten wayyy faster at giffing and i really do not take as much time anymore;; which gives me some peace of mind lmao 

24. what is something that you’re wanting to learn right now?

illustrator! i’ve been fooling around with it a lot recently;; and even one of the pieces i submitted in my portfolio was smth i made on illustrator heh;; but theres a huge learning curve (like btich what is the pen tool ill kill u) fnaoiefiownf so i wanna get lots better with it ;; 

25. what would you like to see others learn how to do?

this is an interesting question;; mm i guess everyone is different?? so idk if i can answer this question cause i think everyone’s style requires them to learn in their own ways?? so idrk ;; i guess something to make certain people’s lives easier would be like LEARN KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS !!! that shit saaaves my life like idk man it cuts down on my time for sure;; 

[saportuh]

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

[hgfstreamchats]

We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Jalaperilo: yo! Knock Out: Hello there! Jalaperilo: been a while since i dropped by Jalaperilo: omg, I was JUST listening to Sawbones! Knock Out: But how good to have you! Jalaperilo: find the clip where justin looses it when sydnee uses the word 'exquisit' in medical terminology Knock Out: Do you have a link by any chance? Jalaperilo: Sawbones. If you wanna be disguisted by human medical history, its the go to podcast thenightetc: Fun fact, it creeps me the hell out when someone keeps saying my name. Jalaperilo: hahah Knock Out: I love the sound of my own name, but that's just me and anything pertaining to myself.

thenightetc: ...Okay, this IS pretty funny Jalaperilo: I'm with thenight. it annoys me if i hear my name too much Jalaperilo: it means people want things from me thenightetc: Yeah. thenightetc: It's... smarmy. thenightetc: In the worst way. Jalaperilo: yup thenightetc: So what are we watching?  Good movie or movie to mock? Knock Out: Pure mockery! Jalaperilo: julia child?? Knock Out: Oh yes. Jalaperilo: nice thenightetc: Oh, boy! thenightetc: *could do with some mocking after today* thenightetc: Worms aren't that elastic Jalaperilo: birds also dont have quiffs thenightetc: ...Is this... a sequel? Knock Out: No, thankfully. Knock Out: "Yes. But technically speaking, ain't you?" thenightetc: Haha, did they give the t-rex herbivore teeth? Jalaperilo: true Jalaperilo: did they come from dinosaurs or just pteradons? Knock Out: Oh, pterosaurs aren't dinosaurs. Breakdown is adamant on that one. Jalaperilo: pteranodon* Jalaperilo: i know Jalaperilo: i didt know if birds came from dinosaurs or just pteranodons Knock Out: That's another thing this movie likes to drive home. Some organics eat meat and that's terrible. thenightetc: Only if the meat has a face!  Which, uh, in this movie apparently it does, going by the worm and the fish. Knock Out: Oh! They came from dinosaurs, apparently. thenightetc: oh my god thenightetc: What--what's in that stuff Knock Out: Nothing good. Jalaperilo: if only it was that easy to make Grimlock docile lol Knock Out: If someone did that to Grimlock, I'm fairly sure it would constitute a crime. thenightetc: Ahhhh, so it's okay to eat meat that somebody ELSE killed. Knock Out: But not okay to be a massive animal and step on things by accident. Jalaperilo: people need to remember that its ok to decide to not eat meat, but it WAS the reason we evolved to be so cognizent as a species Jalaperilo: no its not Knock Out: Smart enough to make up their own minds, but not smart enough to know what lunch is. Knock Out: Or what children are. thenightetc: This, uh, seems very morally dubious. thenightetc: Just go ahead and create some people because some kids want to meet them Knock Out: Why create some people when you can kidnap them? thenightetc: Wellllll, they were just animals before.  He made them INTO people. Zephra85: OMG I saw the description on the tumblr post and and immedietely knew Zephra85: 'OMG WE'RE BACK' Zephra85: Also hi everyone! Knock Out: Welcome to the disaster, Zephra human! thenightetc: Hi! Jalaperilo: yo yo Zephra85: I was obsessed with this movie a sa child thenightetc: That seems like an incredibly extra way to make a sandwich Zephra85: go big or go home thenightetc: Oh, yeah, just stick your hand right in his mouth.  It's safe! Jalaperilo: I had never heard of this until like 20 minutes ago Knock Out: Smart enough to handle this, remember. thenightetc: Honestly, he's lucky he didn't just drive straight into the river... ocean? Lusey: -peeks in- Knock Out: Hello there! Zephra85: Yo Lusey: hello! this movie is so dumb I love it Zephra85: The 90's had a lot of scenes with kids handling construction cranes Lusey: he's not even a t-rex thenightetc: EXHIBIT?! Jalaperilo: there she is! thenightetc: exCUSE me? Lusey: they gonna kill and stuff 'em Zephra85: Yes because this is clearly less conspicuous Lusey: "hey babe" I wish I had this kid's confidence wtf thenightetc: wtf indeed Jalaperilo: what was it about the 80's and 90's where it was a streetwise orphan boy and the red head up town girl? Zephra85: objectively this movie is probably bad but I have so much love and nostalgia for it idgaf thenightetc: Jesus christ, that place is huge.  They must be freakin millionaires Lusey: yup Lusey: but yeah this movie sucks but the last villain scene is spooky Zephra85: oh god seriously Lusey: wont say why or how but Lusey: hoo boy Lusey: it made up for so much Zephra85: it's so subtle but holy *** it's wild at the same time thenightetc: oh yeah, nobody'lll notice THAT Zephra85: things like this can only happen in New York 'cause they're so jadded Knock Out: Eugh. thenightetc: oh my god thenightetc: Why this Jalaperilo: way too young to be a debutante Zephra85: they got things to do and places to go they can't let bs like dinosaurs or aliens get in their way Lusey: what's that parent's problem Knock Out: You should wish for less rats in the subway, little human. Lusey: that child is like 5 and you ruined her life Zephra85: parenting at its finest Zephra85: Having fun with human tech and connections, Knock Out? Knock Out: Endless fun. Knock Out: Hmm, is the picture quality suffering too much? Lusey: see wtf lady Lusey: let her believe thenightetc: Nah, it's fine thenightetc: oh nO Lusey: that's right Lusey: musical thenightetc: I wasn't prepared thenightetc: "things to chew"  kinda sounds like he wants to eat everyone Knock Out: Killing spree ending, just once! Zephra85: (jams out 'cause f*** it all she loves this song) thenightetc: Well, there WAS Little Shop of Horrors. Knock Out: Hmm, true. Knock Out: SMART. ENOUGH. TO HANDLE THIS. thenightetc: ...And there he goes explicitly saying he wants to eat a human Lusey: I think he's implying they'd be gross. but still haha Lusey: seriously who'd run away from TALKING dinosaurs thenightetc: "that's the guy who was foreshadowed!" Jalaperilo: bring back julia child Jalaperilo: lost my green Lusey: I think I gotta head out actually. connection is shot on my end. but enjoy bad dinos Knock Out: An attempt will be made. Have a good night! Zephra85: Bye! Jalaperilo: I'm heading out as well. Its 2am here and I have to be up at 9 thenightetc: Goodnight! Knock Out: Goodnight! Jalaperilo: nighty night Night! Zephra85: 'Nigh! Zephra85: *night Zephra85: man that little girl and her mom get around FAST Zephra85: also the mom's recovered rather well from her freak out before Knock Out: Scrap. So close. thenightetc: "Keep coming or maybe stay away" thenightetc: Dontgonearthe Castle thenightetc: No, idiot, they just left because they're adults and didn't feel like beating up a twelve-year-old thenightetc: Hahahahha thenightetc: Crushing their stupid dreams thenightetc: Is he literally the devil Knock Out: This is normal. thenightetc: Oh, totally Zephra85: not suspecious at all nope thenightetc: Why did SHE sign it Knock Out: "Naughty boys delight" Zephra85: Bah looks like I gotta ditch too, the bf wants the good laptop thenightetc: Pffff, minors can't sign contracts. thenightetc: Though, I guess he's the devil, so Zephra85: 'Night everybody! Thanks for the stream, Knock Out! Knock Out: Goodnight! Glad you could pop in! Zephra85: Oh, and since Breakdown never checks his tumblr anymore, can you tell him happy birthday for me? Knock Out: Will do! Zephra85: Alrighty I'm gone ENJOY CREEPY CIRCUS DINOSAURS GUYS Knock Out: Looks like it's just you and me, night human. thenightetc: I guess that guy's actions make a little more sense in light of the news that he's the devil's brother. Knock Out: This one seems slightly more invested in whether dinosaurs live or die. Knock Out: If only from a business perspective. thenightetc: This got creepy fast, though Knock Out: What disturbs me is that they don't seem willing or able to just grab the children and run. Knock Out: Wasn't that literally the point of A Clockwork Orange? thenightetc: Yes, I mean, maybe they're too squeamish for fresh meat now, but... thenightetc: Seems like they could also grab the contract and destroy it. Knock Out: They're barely intelligent enough to function and physically incapable of defying rules. What could possibly go wrong? thenightetc: Nothing, clearly. Knock Out: I can see why the "legitimate circus" fired him. thenightetc: "Evil" Knock Out: Nice of him to let them stick around for pancakes, though. thenightetc: "oh no, consequences!" Knock Out: "And that's terrible for some reason." thenightetc: Oh, so he IS using some real demons.  I was going to say. Knock Out: They can't seem to decide whether he's using real demons or if the fact that he isn't using real demons is bad. thenightetc: I guess it's a mix? Knock Out: Apparently. thenightetc: Real demons, and poor saps who were dumb enough to sign contracts with Literally The Devil. thenightetc: Not reassuring! Knock Out: Now see, this would have made more sense with that whole deleted chunk about a crow pecking out his eye. thenightetc: Why is everyone freaking out and trying to run, though?  It's clearly a show. Knock Out: The humans in this movie have proved to be overexcitable. thenightetc: Aw, c'mon, what would eating this guy ruin. thenightetc: What if he just ate his arm or something; he can live without that. Knock Out: Just bite off his shins. thenightetc: Little bit off the top. Knock Out: He'll never miss it. thenightetc: And neither will anyone else. Nickel: Ooh. Not a bad lookin' ship, there. Knock Out: Such a waste of a good ship. thenightetc: Why this Knock Out: You are infants. Nickel: õ-õ Nickel: ô_ô Knock Out: Spoiler alert: We never learn what the surprise was. thenightetc: ô_ô indeed. Nickel: I'm not sure I want to... Knock Out: Why didn't he do this ages ago and get a job at a circus where his act will actually fit in? thenightetc: Who knows? thenightetc: ...Did HE not have a magical contract? thenightetc: WELL then. Nickel: Well, now I know the humans have their own version of scraplets... Knock Out: Julia Child, you ruined everything. Stop talking. thenightetc: Something about "reveal the miracle of yourselves" doesn't sound right. Nickel: KID. GET BACK BEHIND THE ROPES. THEYRE THERE FER A REASON Knock Out: Dear Unicron. thenightetc: ... Nickel: what blatant disregard fa boundaries. Knock Out: Crowd a room with children and teach them to keep secrets from their parents. Knock Out: Without ever changing outfits. Nickel: Who took all of those pictures. thenightetc: The devil's brother? Knock Out: The old man on the ship. The families don't know about them. thenightetc: That was a trip from start to finish. Nickel: I'd apologize fa comin in so late, but I feel like I really dodged a bullet, there. Knock Out: You have no idea. Knock Out: Why couldn't we have had this version of the song? Nickel: they had ta save tha best bit fa last, I suppose? Knock Out: Point. Nickel: I know I just got here, but I needa run a quick errand. Are ya endin' things here, Doc? or do ya have more plans? Knock Out: I think we'll wrap it up here for tonight. Patient reports beckon, sadly. Nickel: Lord almighty, I feel ya. thenightetc: Awww.  Well, it was fun!  Thanks for the stream. :) Knock Out: Thank you for the commentary! Nickel: Thanks indeed. (-w-) Knock Out: Good night, everyone! thenightetc: Goodnight!

[andors-hope]

Helen watches Solo Quiero Caminar...

I was going to live blog this, but I've had a rough night and just wanted to watch without worrying about posting.

I did however make extensive notes, and they're under the cut. In short though: fuck you all who told me to watch it! And also thank you! Because it was awesome!!

What an opening shot (ha!) of Gabriel. Mmm.

Genius safe cracking plan, I love it!

Oh wow, so she willing held the door, she had to know she wasn't making it out.

Eugh with the pissing on her.

Good grief he's good looking in this, well he is in everything, but hot damn.

Surprise blowjobs. Didn't expect that.... wait, so she sucks his dick and now he wants to marry her.

Wow, he's beautiful. The day you marry her the blow jobs will stop. Hahahahaha.

How does he make killing someone look so sexy?

I see Wedding Singers are universally awful. Oh he's in pink, and singing. Jesus I'm only a few mins in and he's killing me. Why has no one giffed him and Felix singing?

How many blow jobs are in this film.

Someone please do more gifs if him in the pink shirt please!

So she went to prison for them all, and they are all fucking off to Mexico?!

I cannot handle how sexy Diego is in this. The brooding looks are making me melt!

The cinematography of the film is beautiful, lots of top down shots.

Diego Luna in a white shirt, with or without tie.

He's so respectful to women, I mean I know that's the point. But holy moly....

Okay I hate Felix (again I know that's the point). My f- HOLY SHIT!

Holy shit!

I was about to say about how my first boyfriend hit me... but he never fucking pushed me out of a moving car!!! (I actually got out of a slow moving car he was driving once but that's another story).

Not sure I needed subtitles for Gimnasio...

An accident?! You lying fuck!! Oh she's not dead.

Okay, I'm totally in love with Gabriel.

And Aurora! With the baseball bat!

I love these women, they're all so smart. And Gabriel. Did I mention I love him? The ending is so going to hurt.

Awww man, the soundtrack for this film rocks!

Wow... that was crappy sex... and she had to pay for that.

Oh gods, stop brooding at me Gabriel... I know you're sexy, I get it. Jesus!

Oh dear, well he did have to say something to Felix I guess, he is the boss.

Aww crap, seeing Gabriel coming for you like that.

Aww man, not hammers... FUCK. Tell me he dies horribly please?

She's here. Now hurry up and meet Gabriel and bang please!

Oh his face when he first sees her...

There's just something a hot Adriana Gil isn't there, she's got a quality that stands her apart. She's very captivating.

Wow that's a dress! Someone buy me a dress like that! And a bike gun! I want a bike gun too. And a Gabriel. It's my birthday in August. Someone get me these things.

A lot of their plans are noise dependant. This is equal parts awesome and flawed. Like what if he decided to not watch it. But given the amount of planning to get the DVD in place etc, I'll stick with awesome.

Hahahaha the Wilhelm scream in The Wild Bunch.

Superb!

Oh my god, it's gonna happen. They're going to meet! Oh my god. Is he going to pretend to be the prostitute. Oh my god!

Could someone please get me a Diego. Fuck...

*loses ability to anything while the sex happens*

..... just... send someone over to scoop me off the floor please... I don't think I can get up.

Men sure do wear a lot of pink/peach in this film.

Stop lying Felix!

Aww man it's all unraveling. Oh maybe not.

Gabriel with the kid. <3

The car park scene was just stunning! Oops that was also a pun.

Listen to the woman Gabriel, she speaks the truth! Run away with Aurora now please so that the film ends differently to how I know it will!

Only $100,000??? That seems a bit low.

Oh the train scene... fuck. Oh he's so smitten. It had to have been good sex for her to be okay with it being him.

Like I did to Aurora?? Oh no...

Yeah there's a problem! Felix, you're an asshole!

Wielding a sledgehammer with broken fingers!! Wayward AF!

She's a woman she hasn't got the balls.

Aww should have shot the virgin!!

Oh right in the dick!!

Noooooo!!!!! And the phone call from her son. *crying* Oh my god... she went to his teacher while stabbed. Emotionally comprised already. Fuck. And she's fucking dying. And I'm crying and broken. Tragedy and ruin.

Gabriel to the rescue....? Please?

Someone fucking kill Felix!!!

Oh no, please. Don't show Paloma telling Juan.

Okay the crawling to the gun... jeeze this is an amazing film! And the standing up.

Oh.... OH! Can he actually do it???

Of course it's for her!

Oh wow... adios Felix, you bastard.  

Wait... is her sister dead?

NO!

No fucking way!!!

He gets stabbed just like that?!!

Go to a fucking Doctor!!!

*sobbing*

*sobbing so fucking hard*

Fuck this film!!!

I hate everything.

How can he fucking remember you when he's clearly going to die alone, very shortly.

And that last look!!!!

Fuck all of you who told me to watch this film! (Not really, but I'm sure you know what I mean)

*goes to lie down in a dark room and cry*

[secret-rendezvous1d]

Ok I'm so excited for your stories where harry and the missus are best friends. Like maybe she has a horrible date with a guy she had been talking to and she just ends up at Harry's flat, done up and looking fancy after her date, watching Netflix complaining about how she can never get a quality man, but all harry can think about is how the moon is lighting her skin and how beautiful she is

Oh, my goodness. Yes. I can’t wait to write more best friend!Harry stuff. I love them. 

Halfway through the date, she’d get a couple of texts from Harry to see how her date was going and she’d send him multiple texts of ‘:(((((’ or ‘so bad. thinkin of leavin’ and he’d try and convince her to stay to see if it gets better. But, it would be half and hour after, that she’d appear on his doorstep with a frown on her face and her heels in her hands.

“He sucked,” she’d grumble, throwing her heels to the ground and storming into his house, walking through his house and over to the sofa, “he spoke all about him. Didn’t bother to once offer to buy me a drink. He kept looking at his phone, eyeing up other girls that walked by,” she’d pull her feet up and rest them on the coffee table, sighing heavily, “and, do you want to know what the worst part was?”

“What?”

“He forgot my fuckin’ name, Harry! What guy forgets the name of their date? That makes them seem grimy and disgusting and eugh, I hated him, Harry.”

He’d chuckle and sit down beside her, squeezing her knee and kissing her forehead before looking towards the paused telly, “Netflix? Heard they have some new chick-flick films on there”

“You know me damn well, Styles,” she’d giggle and nod, “go for it. Pick a decent one, yeah? Not The Notebook or Love Actually, again. I can’t deal with that,” she’d mutter, grunting as she stood to her feet, “can I go and change into something a little comfier?”

“I have some t-shirts in my drawer. You know where my trackie bottoms are,” he’d mutter, “feel free to wear whatever. I’ll get us some red wine from the fridge and make some popcorn for us to eat, yeah?”

After a couple of hours and two films and through the second bottle of wine, she’d be mumbling heavily and slurring with pink teeth as making Harry chuckle softly, “m’never going to find a guy, am I, Harry?” She’d ask him, looking to him as he took the glass from her hand and set it on the table, stopping her from spilling the red liquid on his sofa, “tell me what you like in a girl. Maybe I’m not the typical girl. What do I have to do to find myself a nice man, who won’t just use me for sex, and won’t stare at other women when we’re out on dates? Tell me what’s wrong with me?”

“No, no,” he’d hiss softly, “you are perfect, baby. It’s the men that are the problem, yeah? You don’t change anything about you because there is nothing wrong with you,” he’d smile and squeeze her hand, “you just have to be patient and look harder, okay? You’ll find the man who makes your heart skip a beat and he’ll give you butterflies and you’ll get married to him and have kids and I’ll be there, as your best friend, to help you through the hard times.”

“What if I never find him, Harry?”

“You’ll find him, baby. I know you will,” he’d grin and kiss her cheek, “you’ll find him. He’s out there, probably looking for you, and when fate feels right, you’ll meet him and all these bad dates will go forgotten.” xx

[asksansweredpdf]

These are actually solid questions

1. First thing you wash in the shower? my hair

2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? i can’t stand coffee. and alcohol might as well be my blood at this point

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? haha noooo. he was nice but i felt literally nothing. was like kissing a brick wall or something. tbh i never feel much when i kiss boys

4. Do you plan outfits? YES. i’m a drama queen and a diva and flamboyant and i need to look good always. i have my graduation in 2 days and i still haven’t planned what to wear and it’s bothering me

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? tbh pretty numb. like not happy and not sad. just. .... chillin

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? my track pants

7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? well with the mood im in now, i probably wouldn’t react. but the logical side of my brain would kick in and i’d phone it in to the police. 

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? it’s still that one about the creepy old dude touching me in the car. 

9. Three of your current feelings? -introspective -apathetic

-wistful

10. What are you craving right now? tbh i would very much love to hug my stuffed pink harold. but he’s downstairs and i just don’t have the energy to walk haha

11. Turn ons? not rly in the mood to answer these

12. Turn offs?

13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? this vine

14. When was the last time you cried? Why? idk like over a month ago. i had to work a thursday night shift which is always super stressful. and that day my sister just started beating the shit out of me so the anxiety was like double

15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be? ironman. any day. or spiderman because it’d be fun to just swing around the city listening to music peacefully

16. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologize? nope. she doesn’t even know that i know about half the shit she did. never ever apologised about the stuff she knows i know about. no acknowledgement. no apology. just pretends it never happened

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick it 

18. Favorite movie ever? idk i like frozen and pride and prejudice and the hunger games

19. Do you like yourself? i like myself, but i can’t seem to justify why. i don’t really have an identity. i don’t know what i’m like. and so it’s hard to like myself when i don’t know what i like about my self, or why i do. but i enjoy being myself.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity? i met stan walker once? he’s a minor celebrity in australlia

21. Could you handle being in the military? part of me would thrive in the structure and forced exercise and socialisation. another part of me would completely crumble because like i have anxiety

22. What are you listening to right now? i don’t give a ... - missio

23. How many countries have you visited? india, america, canada, australia. so 4 i guess

24. Are your parents strict? you betcha

25. Would you go sky diving? sure yeah. i’m afraid of heights so the adrenaline would be wild

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? nah. i dont give a shit about him. maybe i’d go if he paid for the food.

27. Whats on your mind right now? literally nothing. mostly thinking about endgame. i��m also thinking about taking my mum’s anti anxiety meds since she doesn’t use them and i have anxiety. but i don’t want to take them without professional advice. but also, i am a professional advice. and like what could happen? i’d get mentally ill?

28. Is there anything you want to say to someone? nah i dont really feel like talking atm. i guess i’d ask if they wanted to go for a smoke. i would love a cig rn

29. Have you ever been in a castle? no but i would love to!!

30. Do you rent movies often? not really, i just watch stan/netflix

31. Whats your zodiac sign? cancer sun, leo moon, libra rising

32. When was the last time you had sex? i haven’t had sex

33. Name five facts about yourself. i honestly don’t think i know enough about myself to do this but let’s give it a go -i have short hair -i love music more than literally anything -i turn 21 this year and i have no idea what to do for it -i’m thinking of getting a motorbike soon -i’ve never broken a bone

34. Ever had a near death experience? If so, what happened? nope

35. Do you believe in karma or predestiny? i used to. and i absolutely would love to believe in all that stuff. but not to sound angsty or whatever, i’ve had so many shitty things happen to me that it’s hard for me to believe that it’s all part of some big plan or that there is any justice in the world. i think people just do shit and that’s it

36. Brown or white eggs? ive never had white eggs so..... brown?

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? nah we dont have it in australia

38. Ever been on a train? yeah man i love trains

39. Ever been in love? not mutually, no

40. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it? it’s a million bucks. absolutely. one night of terror to never have to worry about anything ever again. i’m a witch too so as much as i’d be scared, it’d be fine.

41. If you could trade places with any person living or dead, who would you trade places with? someone rich and famous. maybe harry styles or freddie mercury. i’m sure they didn’t have it easy, but it’s certainly easier than things have/ever will be for me you know?

42. If you could shorten your life expectancy by 10 years to become more attractive, would you do it? absolutely

43. Whom do you admire and why? i tend not to admire irl people. but i do admire tony stark a lot (GOD this is so lame ksajrsjkfs). i admire his charisma, his confidence, his humour, his good looks, his intelligence, his eyes. he embodies everything i feel like i can never be. but everything i’ll always want to be.  i admire freddie mercury. for his work drive and ethic. for his confidence and stage presence, his ability and talent in singing, songwriting, musical instruments. his flamboyancy, his sense of humour. again, these are all qualities i would love to have.

44. What was your favorite bedtime story as a child? oh i never really got read bedtime stories

45. You’re walking down the street, you come across a burning building. A woman says her baby is trapped inside, what would you do? internally, i’d be like “that sucks for you” and walk away. but i can’t be a dick, so i’d assess the extent of the fire and see if there was a way to save the baby. i’d try if so, if not idk what i’d do. panic and call 000?

46. If you could choose the future profession of your son or daughter, would you? nah man. gotta let kids live their lives 

47. What was your best experience on drugs or alcohol? alcohol: the night i just moved out of home 2 weeks ago. my roommate invited a friend over, and we all had fun and played never have i ever and i flirted with this really cute guy and had so much fun. i hadn’t really had any experiences like that before because i was - anyway. it was nice to feel like a normal 19 year old just for a second weed: either the time i was drunk and high at our housewarming party and went to the park and felt like i was on a fucking rollercoaster, or the time i got super cooked after work and had a shower which felt amazing and then went back to my room and listened to beautiful people beautiful problems. i didn’t hallucinate per se, but i closed my eyes and could like see the lyrics “blue is the colour of the planet from the view above”. it was like i was in outer space and could see the earth and i was so relaxed and it was so magical mdma: my halloween party! there were so many people and no one knew i was high and we had a mad dance party and i met some of our neighbours and i just had so much fun talking to everyone and Living. 

48. What was your worst experience on drugs or alcohol? alcohol: being around boring people when drunk is boring. especially because when i’m drinking i really want to have a good and fun time.  weed: ahh i have anxiety so i used to get a few panic attacks when i was smoking mdma: eugh it was my friends 21st at the time and we took mdma and i thought it wasnt kicking in because all we did was sit in bed and talk. literally so boring. im so mad that i wasted my first time like that

50. As your walking down the street you find a suitcase full of money sitting next to a parked car, would you take it? nah, i’d probably hand it in to the police. actually, i dont trust the police so i’d probably google what to do with it. but probably police because i cant have stolen money or give it to someone else. 

51. If you found that a close friend has AIDS, would you still hang out with them? not hanging out with someone because of that has literally never even crossed my mind

52. In front of you are 10 pistols, 5 of which are loaded. If you survive you’d receive 100 million dollars. Would you be willing to place 1 to your head and pull the trigger? nah. i’m actually going places now days

53. How old were you when you lost your virginity? tba

54. Do you believe in ghosts, werewolves or vampires? nope

55. If you could live forever, would you want to? yeah probably. i’d like to give it a trial run though. i’m very anxious, so being lonely and immortal might make it worse. but at the same time, being immortal might make it easier to not give a shit and to be less anxious

56. Which fictional movie character most resembles who you are? honestly i feel like jane villanueva or peter parker

57. If you could go back in time, which time period would you visit? i would love to be a victorian bitch with a bomb ass dress and waist

58. If they were to televise a live execution, would you watch it? probably not. unless it was someone i really hated, i wouldnt give a shit

59. If you could be the president of the USA, would you be willing to do it? i mean i wouldn’t be the best person for the job, but i also wouldn’t be the worst. if i could have time to properly study politics then yeah i’d consider. 

60. If you could choose the sex of your unborn child, would you want to? i’d probably want a girl but i dont really see any reason to not have a boy

61. Would you rather live longer or be wealthy? be wealthyyyyyy