#ethubs angst
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the fence blocks bloodlust
Bdubs hates the fence, he loves being red, but he hates watching Etho walk away.
last life!ethubs angst drabble :) 352 words
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Bdubs hates the fence.
He hates the line drawn down the middle of the snow castle, he hates the fence, he hates all of it. But he loves being red. It's exhilarating, it's refreshing, it's violent.
But he's alone.
He stares over the fence at Etho, who is staring back at him with an apprehensive look. His eyes are tinted green, even the red one with the jagged scar running down it. Contrary to Bdubs, whose eyes are red and full of bloodlust.
He watches as Etho begins to struggle for words. His mouth is covered by his mask, but Bdubs knows the former well enough to tell when he's struggling for words. His eyes start to wander and his hands start shaking. Bdubs isn't sure if Etho is scared – surely not, Bdubs would never hurt him – or just unsure of where they stand.
"Etho-“ he starts off, but Etho shakes his head.
“I can’t do this, Dubs,” he admits, reaching down to his side for his sword. “I can’t do this again.”
“Do what?” Bdubs asks, the red bloodlust in his veins itching to do something, to attack Etho. But Bdubs restrains himself, because this is Etho, and Bdubs would never hurt him, not like that. Not unless he really had to, and right now, he doesn’t. “We haven’t done anything like this before.”
“Last time,” Etho murmurs, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword, “you were red early on. And you lost Cleo, and I thought…” his words hitch in his throat.
Bdubs stares at him, waiting for his best friend to continue.
“I didn’t want to see you go before me,” Etho breathes out, and he turns away.
Bdubs - despite how brave he is, how confident he is - watches him walk away. As a red player, he should be chasing after Etho, taking his lives, forcing him down to red, acting on the bloodlust coursing through his veins. But he doesn’t.
He watches Etho go, run away to find safety in greens and yellows, away from Bdubs who will only hurt him if he stays.
#grace writing#ethubs#hi guys. i did it again#ethubs angst#they are very sad#sorry#mcytumblr#mcyt#trafficblr#traffic tumblr#last life#traffic series#they are so incredibly angsty i couldn't help it#enjoy!
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Hello Ethubs nation :]
no text version
#gremnda art#this is the silliest thing i've drawn in a while and i am so happy w it#i just read a heavy angst fic with etho and bdubs#this is my way of coping guys let me have this#ethubs#hermitshipping#trafficshipping#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#oo look at me go making ship art#guys im from dsmp fandom i feel like im committing an actual crime by drawing ship art#please be nice i will cry
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gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)
#ethubs#Ive wanted to draw ethubs angst for so many days but art block is still hitting hard and this thing has been sitting around for awhile#hey ethubers how did you. survive#last life ethubs upsets me so much make it end#The way after Bdubs dies Etho is trying to justify to himself not having given him a life to begin with rather than#telling him to prove himself#its like he expects the others who are with him to comment on it but they dont. Etho's all "I couldn't have just given it to him you know..#without them asking about it or anything. And Etho just keeps going. god damn it Etho I feel so bad for them#dont even get me started on what Bdubs said to G about Etho grrrr GRRRR I saw that for the first time not long ago GRRRRRR#I still wanna draw proper ethubs though. someday#also the damage to Bdubs' face is supposed to be from the rocket Lizzie shot#does it make sense? No probably not but its an excuse to make him look more dead#tubby art
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No fences. Just for a little bit.
#nics art#ethoslab#ethubs#bdoubleo100#bdoubleo fanart#ethoslab fanart#last life#last life fanart#traffic smp#life series fanart#im having fun colouring again yippee#my brain is full of angst but turns out all i can manage to draw is fluff !#wow !#nics gallery
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“Person a pushes person b out of the way of danger and has milliseconds to tell a horrified person b ‘goodbye’ before they’re annihilated” my beloved
#I just wanted to draw angst real quick between workin HEHEH#ethubs#hermitshipping#bdoubleo100#ethoslab#angst#my art
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look what you’ve turned me into, look what we’ve become
yall ever just. Wild life ethubs final two six hundred strike. bdubs just going hogshit towards the end of the final duel and killing etho with his own trident. something something you’ve made a new beast. I’m making you tuff || didn’t you say that ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves
#maintagging this now idc#wild life smp#wild life fanart#cw blood#cw violence#bdoubleo100#ethoslab#ethubs#life series#trafficblr#lafakiwi draws#gkm arts#i still look insane but at least i can torment other people with it :3 /lh /silly#canon typical violence this is life series my dude#i was too tired to work on digital art so you get brainrot#monty draws ship angst. as a treat :3
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distant worlds, ethubs, 2042 words
“You know, I really should have established a timeline for how long I would be your employee,” Bdubs sighs, stocking boxes with enderpearls. “Because I’m sure not doing this forever.”
Etho is sitting at his desk, idly doodling in the corner of his accounting book. “Aw, you’re not?”
Bdubs stretches, cracking his neck. “No! I need to go and build stuff! Make things! I have my own life, you know.”
Bdubs’ pink shorts are riding up a little. Etho tries not to look. “Mmhmm.” he says instead, his go-to when he loses track of a conversation. The doodle on his accounting book is starting to look suspiciously like a series of little hearts. Etho hastily scribbles them out.
‘You know, you don’t have to sit here and supervise me. I’m not going to wreck your shop or anything.”
“Yeah, but…” But it’s been years since Etho has had Bdubs like this, working at his side.
Bdubs sighs dramatically. “You don’t trust me?!”
Etho spirals the pen around the page. “You’re a trainee, I gotta keep you on the straight and narrow.” In this case, lying is less pathetic than telling the truth.
Bdubs huffs, but doesn’t argue. They subside back into silence, Etho stifling a smile at the muffled expletive Bdubs lets out when a shulker box closes on his hand.
The pen travels across the page.
Years ago, a day like this wouldn’t have been so rare.
———
Bdubs was humming and hawing over Etho’s newly-constructed bridge.
“It’s bad,” Etho sighed. “You can say it’s bad.”
“No, no, no,” Bdubs chided. “No one’s saying that. It just needs a little… umm…“ he rummaged through his inventory, then brightened. “Leaves! Dude, just add some leaves.” He scattered some across the bridge railing with a flourish. “See? Fixes everything.”
Etho hummed, unconvinced. “And then maybe some… trap doors under those?”
Bdubs clapped his hands. “Oh yes, that’ll do it.”
Etho placed the trap doors and stepped back to take in the full picture alongside Bdubs. “I dunno…”
Bdubs’ hand dropped to his shoulder and squeezed. His touch was distractingly warm. “It looks great! Very rustic.”
Etho tilted his head. It did look a little better than before.
Satisfied that today’s job was mostly done, he went to go empty his inventory. Bdubs decided to stick around as he worked. He had been doing that a lot more lately.
Etho put away the final stack of cobblestone and cleared his throat. “There’s actually, uh, something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Oh, yeah?” Bdubs was tooling around on Beyonc, showing off her elegant lines and five-block jump.
Etho watched them circle the area and tried to breathe through his sudden spike of anxiety.“Remember the game we worked on? In the modded server?”
Bdubs kicked Beyonc into a flying leap that landed her on top of Etho’s chest stack. “How could I forget? All those hours wasted!”
“Well, yeah.” Etho chewed his lip. “I was actually thinking of building something like that here. In vanilla.”
“You can do that? With redstone?”
Etho shrugged. “I can try.”
Bdubs snorted. “Friggin’ genius.”
“The thing is, though…”
Bdubs nudged Beyonc forward and she landed gracefully before Etho.
“The thing is though…” Etho continued. “I actually may need help—”
“I’ll do it,” Bdubs interrupted, before Etho had even finished his sentence.
“You sure?” Etho hesitated. “I don’t want you to put you on the spot or anything…”
“Of course!” Beyonc reared and Bdubs sat comfortably astride her. “We’ll do it together. As a team.”
It was Etho’s first time leading a big project, so he wanted it to do things right. He chose the location and dug out the area himself. He even decided to build a worker’s shack where he and Bdubs could sleep and store all of their materials.
In retrospect, Etho thought as he mapped out the floorplan, marking two separate bedrooms for him and Bdubs, he shouldn’t have been nervous about inviting Bdubs to join. Bdubs was a kind person and they had already tackled several projects together.
Etho paused. So kind that he probably felt like he couldn’t turn Etho down. So kind that he unflinchingly put up with all of Etho’s various idiosyncrasies and insistences. So kind that, any time they had a disagreement, he would capitulate with a laugh, easy and unbothered.
“You don’t have to help,” Etho blurted the first time Bdubs came to visit the worker’s shack.
Bdubs was standing in the doorway of the bedroom Etho had built for him, but still a glimmer of uncertainty crossed his face. “What, you don’t want me here?”
There was a lump in Etho’s throat. “No, I just…I don’t want to force you into anything.”
Bdubs placed his bed down in the room like a declaration. “There’s no forcing.” He met Etho’s gaze and smiled, so warmly that Etho felt it in his chest. “I’m gonna decorate this place so good.”
Etho had worked with Bdubs before, but he had never lived with him. It was different, not having to say their goodbyes at the end of the day. Instead, they walked back to the worker’s shack side by side, chattering about everything and nothing. It was different, waking up in the morning and finding Bdubs already in the kitchen, sleep-mussed and cooking, asking Etho how he liked his eggs.
It was different— Bdubs’ toothbrush in the bathroom, the wet puddle after he showered. The flowers that appeared in the windowsill and the laughter that echoed through the halls. Prepared meals, easy company, warm nights of doing nothing much but enjoying each other’s presence.
It was a different kind of torture, Etho learned, having Bdubs so near and liking him so much. He was too kind, making eggs just the way Etho liked, telling stories that made him laugh, helping unflinchingly with the enormous task of building this arena. He was so kind that Etho couldn’t help falling in love with him.
Nights were the worst, were the time when Etho felt furthest from any semblance of rationality or self-control. Lying in bed, staring through the darkness, he felt hyperaware that Bdubs lay just a short distance across the hall. So kind that he just might let Etho climb into bed with him.
Etho rolled over and willed himself to sleep.
Days passed, and then weeks. Spring was pushing into summer and the days were getting hotter. One particular day the heat was so oppressive that it even invaded the underground bunker where Etho had been doing most of the redstone wiring.
When the sweat started dripping into Etho’s eyes, he had no choice but to take a break. He stood, wiping sweat from his face with his shirt bottom, and took a deep draught from his water bucket.
Bdubs, he knew, was probably even worse off. He was building outside in the blazing sun. Etho decided to check on him. He felt bad that Bdubs was working so hard on a project that Etho himself wasn’t certain they could finish.
The end of the season had been announced a week ago and since then they had been scrambling to complete the arena before they had to leave this world and go to the next. There was a pit in Etho’s stomach every time he thought about it. This had happened to them last time, and now it was happening on the project that he was leading— the project that he had roped Bdubs into, that they had spent so much time on.
The worst part, though, was leaving their home. Etho didn’t know when he had started calling the worker’s shack home, but he had. It certainly felt more like home than any other place he had built on the server. He couldn’t deny that was in a large part due to Bdubs’ presence.
He didn’t know what the next world would hold. He didn’t know if he would find an excuse to live with Bdubs again. He didn’t even know if Bdubs would want to work with him again, especially after this project had turned out to be such a thankless grind.
Etho found Bdubs building on the outskirts of the arena. He was shirtless, sweat beading along his shoulderblades. The sight was so overwhelming that Etho almost turned to leave.
Bdubs was grunting with the effort of building a wall, dropping blocks into place. “You don’t have to push yourself so hard,” Etho ventured once he felt more in-control. “I’m not even paying you.”
Bdubs put his blocks down with a heavy sigh. “You think at this point my ego’s not all tied up in this too?”
Etho snorted and drew near. “Good point.” This close, he could see the smile lines crinkling at the corner of Bdubs’ eyes. “Want a break?” He held out his water bucket and a snack.
“Golden carrots!” Bdubs exclaimed. “You spoil me.”
He took the water bucket first, though, and drank from it deeply. Etho’s eyes were drawn to his throat as he swallowed, to the sweat droplets that chased each other down his torso.
“Ahh,” Bdubs sighed, refreshed, and Etho snapped his gaze upwards. “Do you mind?” Bdubs asked, gesturing to the water.
Etho shook his head, confused, but before he had much time to ponder, Bdubs was tipping the bucket over his own head, sending water crashing down around him.
Etho squawked and hopped backwards out of the splash zone.
“Oh,” Bdubs groaned, “Oh, that feels so good.” His hair was dripping, plastered to his head. Water was still sheeting down his body and soaking into his jeans. His eyes fluttered open and he caught Etho’s shocked gaze. He blinked. “You said you didn’t mind!”
There was a note of petulance in Bdubs’ voice that wouldn’t have been there a few months ago, before they had started living in each other’s pockets. Before Bdubs—before he was comfortable—
Something inside Etho snapped.
Bdubs lifted the bucket uncertainly, “I can get more water, I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”
Etho carefully took the bucket out of Bdubs’ hands.
“…Etho?” Bdubs was stepping back awkwardly, falling back on those sloppy forms that had gotten him killed by Etho more than once.
Etho grabbed Bdubs’ hand and Bdubs froze, blinking up at him from under his soaked fringe, eyes soft and worried.
“You—“ Etho tried. “I—“ His ears burned with embarrassment.
He gave up on speaking and pulled the mask underneath his chin, pressed his lips to Bdubs’ hand.
“Oh,” Bdubs said. So kind that he didn’t pull away.
Etho turned Bdubs’ hand and pressed a lingering kiss to his palm.
“Oh,” Bdubs said again, voice hushed. “You don’t— do you?”
———
Etho wants to reach out, wants to take Bdubs hand, but he can’t. He’s too afraid Bdubs will run through his fingers like water, melt away like he has so many times before.
Bdubs is squirmy that way, surprisingly hard to pin down. One minute he’s swearing his eternal devotion, the next he’s mocking Etho, eyes gleaming with mirth. There’s months and years he’s not even there at all, times when he’s nothing but a sore spot in Etho’s memory.
That day in the unfinished arena, Bdubs had kissed him. His hair had dripped into Etho’s eyes. Etho hadn’t thought anything of kindness that night when they curled together, Etho’s chin propped on his chest. Bdubs was too busy looking at him like he was a puzzle he had found the last piece to.
Things change, Etho knows. That world ended, a new one began. Bdubs never kissed him again.
It can never be like what it once was, Etho fears. Here is too distant from there.
“Done!” Bdubs announces. “Your enderpearls are all sorted. Now can I leave?”
Etho sighs, but he doesn’t have any good reason to keep Bdubs longer. “Yeah, that should be it for today.”
Bdubs is already packing his inventory. He pauses on his way out the door. “You know, you didn’t even comment on my uniform.”
Etho is caught off guard. “I—I didn’t?”
Bdubs gives a spin. His legs are on full display. “I made it just for you!”
Etho swallows. When he meets Bdubs’ gaze, he winks. “I’ll see you tomorrow, boss.”
#happy valentines day uwuuuuuuu#idk what this is#not quite angst#not quite fluff#but very much#ethubs#and#my fic
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The hill I will die on is that LastLife!Etho (and Etho more generally) worries so much about rules and that's the reason some people think that he comes across as 'uncaring', especially when it comes to giving Bdubs his life. In episode 5, he tells Cleo he can't just give her the brewing stand - he can't just give things to red lifes, it has to be a deal. He is happy to make the deal for Bdubs to sign Scar's book to get him a life, and then executes the boogey kill (arguing that he didn't break any contract), and Then signs Scar's book himself. He goes on to argue that 'The Boogeyman took the enchanter' but when Scar counters that Etho was cured upon the kill so that's untrue, Etho backs down. He talks about rules and technicalities and he loves to play the game but he wants to find loopholes, not break rules.
That's why he hesitates to give Bdubs his life later on. All alliances with reds are cut, so he can't give anything to Bdubs without something in return. And yes he's a survivor yes he bends to the whims of others but he does care. He was the one out there working to get Bdubs back on yellow, and he was willing to make enemies to do it if he had to. He never fully trusts Bdubs and he vocalises that after he sees BigB kill Cleo ("it's always the ones you least expect") but he does care. He does.
#sorry i resent the idea that etho doesnt care#even if its a narrative even if its how your source your ethubs angst#just because he isnt self sacrificial even if it was also self serving he did care about bdubs#ive noticed that etho has a tendency to add “actually” when hes stating a feeling he wants to be heard as serious#or at least not a full joke#“that one hurts actually” when bdubs died#“that hurts actually” when he misunderstood as saying they would hate their task to be talking to him#ethoslab#etho#bdubs#bdoubleo#bdubbleo100#ethubs#last life smp#secret life smp#trafficblr#gg buddy
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Not going to lie, whenever I watched Smalletho in their double life series, it very much was just a "this is the circumstance" for Etho. And Joel would play into the joke of I love my soulmate, so much that I made a t-shirt with his face on it. But to me it was never a great life series ship, especially in comparison to Ethubs angst and Bdubs pining. (when it first came out ofc)
But through Limited life and Secret Life, and now Hermitcraft s10, the ship has thrived. What once was a pairing through circumstance, turned into a true ship, and now a mockery of what once was as seen through rose coloured glasses. Where Joel who once was "obsessed with Etho", turned into Etho "obsessed with Joel."
Honestly, this post has no other purpose than to put these thoughts into words. Especially since Etho is being such a silly lil guy these days, and only he truly knows what goes on in his brain. The stark contrast just keeps me thinking about them.
#hermitcraft#trafficblr#ethoslab#smallishbeans#smalletho#thoughts?#maybe I'm just being cynical#tell me I'm wrong and that the ship was always great#either way I'm still going to think of ways to write Smalletho and Ethubs angst
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ETHUBS + 8, you know what to do with this
Send me a pairing + a number! || Accepting
8. A kiss in grief, Bdubs/Etho, 936 words
Among the sound of breaking blocks, running water, and falling gravel, the survivors' communicators pinged in tandem. Etho dared to hope that his partner had earned his keep. Lizzie was gone, a glaring red smear in chat announcing her demise the result of fall damage, and from where Etho was, trapped in a cave system far underground, he had no way of knowing if Bdubs contributed.
He waited a moment. There'd be a sign, Etho was sure, a message, a bold confirmation that the deed was done, maybe even an echo of boisterous, proud, manic laughter. It was what Etho wanted, however impossible; Bdubs, head held high as he mined the survivors out of their cavern and proclaimed that he was one of them once more.
The communicator pinged again.
BdoubleO100 was slain by Grian
And that was that.
Ren had him by the hand as they dug their way out of the cave, Cleo at his back with fleeting, encouraging touches whenever he drifted a bit too far. They kept him moving. They kept him talking, offering condolences and advice, plans and promises. They got him above ground, cheering at the sight of the sun and heaving lungfuls of fresh air, but Etho found it no easier to breathe.
The grounding hand was back, turning him gently, stopping him before he could get any closer to where he last recalled the reds congregating.
"Where are you off to?" Cleo asked, but something in her voice sounded like she was already well aware, "The session isn't over for another hour."
Etho's mouth dried. "I, uh. I don't think this is something that can wait, Cleo." "Sure it can," Cleo said, not unkindly, but straightforward in a way that had Etho's guts in knots, "What're you going to do if you walk straight into the reds?"
"I won't," Etho reasoned, "I won't, they- there's no reason for them to double back, right?"
"Depends on where he- where the fight happened. I'm not letting you join them," The hand on Etho's shoulder squeezed, "We can't lose another, is all I'm saying. I can't."
Cleo stared, and Etho stared back until he couldn't stand the mirror he found there any longer. Her loyalties never truly faded, and if it wasn't for the need to press forward, to carry the memory of allies long since fallen and survive, she'd be as stricken as Etho.
Etho took her hand off of his shoulder and gave it a squeeze, "I'll be back," He promised, "It's only for an hour." Outside of the session, the reds couldn't touch him.
Cleo looked him up and down, as if appraising whether his word could be trusted, until finally, "I'll hold you to it." She pulled on his hand, and when he leaned in, she kissed his cheek over his mask. "Give him that for me, then?"
It was the least he could do for her.
For Bdubs, when Etho finally found him, Etho would do much more.
"Of course you had to go and die somewhere this inconvenient," He said, short of breath from scaling the mountain Bdubs had been climbing when he died, an attempt at levity that fell short.
Bdubs was curled up on his side, the jut of two fatal shots piercing the gaps in his armor. Etho eased the arrows out of Bdubs' back so his body could be laid flat, and a shuddering breath tightened his stomach as he covered Bdubs' eyes with a softly-placed hand, sliding them shut.
It didn't suit him, the image of a warrior fallen on a battlefield. "You don't wear anything this heavy back home," Etho said as he loosened buckles and untied straps until the diamond plate could be set aside. Etho paused, and after staring for a moment, he shrugged off his coat and laid it over Bdubs' chest like a blanket. "Yeah. Yeah, you look more comfortable already."
Nothing answered. The sun was setting, and with dusk would come fresh dangers, but Etho laid down beside Bdubs and watched the sky darken.
"You know," Etho mumbled into the empty air, "I meant everything I said this morning." He turned his head. Like this, it was easy to imagine Bdubs was just sleeping, that any moment he'd crack a smile and agree, be proud of himself for winning Etho's admiration, "You were the best teammate I could have asked for. And when I-" He swallowed, cleared his throat, "When I said we wouldn't be friends, I- man, I hoped- I wanted so badly for it not to be you."
Etho rolled onto his side and ignored the way it made the suspiciously warm streaks on his face change course, "And now it's my fault you're not here. Heh, can you believe that? I'm gonna be kicking myself for ages. You earned that life and I didn't pull the trigger fast enough."
Etho closed his eyes and breathed, deep and chilly, pulling his mask down on the exhale. The snow fort was always cold. Bdubs wasn't, though, the brief immersion of being home gone the moment Etho reached a shaky hand to rest across Bdubs' waist. "It's still your life, I think, I'll keep it safe. Get a win maybe, give you something to really be excited about."
Without his coat, the snow seeped into Etho's clothes, leaving him cold and wet as he sat up. The sun had set. Session hours were over.
Etho leaned down, and kissed Bdubs' cheek. Then, his lips, and if a few tears dripped onto his face in the process, at least he wasn't awake to notice.
"Goodnight... partner."
#Ethubs#Ethoslab#BdoubleO100#ZombieCleo#Angst#Hermitshipping#Trafficshipping#Last Life#MCYT#Hermitfic#Asks#randomly-reblogs#Bdubs#Etho#Astral Library#My Writing#I'm not sure I like how this came out but!#It sure did come out and that's better than nothing!
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Ethubs please?
Maybe something a little angsty?
Unwritten events based off HaTO-When does a man become a monster?
----
Etho was dead, or at least, Bdubs believed him to be.
When he saw the demigod of Hades lose control of himself, ignoring all kinds of injuries he was receiving as well as all the last bits of energy he put into his hits, Bdubs genuinely thought; He's dead. Etho is dead.
And despite the confidence he had in that claim, he was terrified of it.
When Etho couldn't scream, Bdubs did. He screamed louder than Kronos had when the Olympian gods had finally returned to finish him off.
That would've been one of the rare times he could meet his mom, but Bdubs didn't even acknowledge her, not even respectfully bow to her, focused on the way he was desperately clawing at Etho's blooded figure and dragging him off to whatever exit is the fastest to camp. He would've considered jumping off the sky to make his trip easier if it weren't for False stopping him.
His first proper meeting with his mother, Demeter had said, "What's with you? He's just a boy."
Bdubs had simply sobbed out, "That's the point!"
Etho was just a boy. He wasn't meant to go up here and play hero. If Bdubs had continued to rudely tell him that instead of being such a softie and instead teaching him to love the world Bdubs lived in so he could selfishly keep Etho, would the ending have been different?
Alas, he had no time to change such things. This was the outcome, and Bdubs was left to cry over it. It was then that the son of Demeter had a dangerous thought; he wouldn't mind the end of the world if it meant Etho could live a little longer.
It's a good thing that the gods had reacted quickly and helped him to the infirmary before that thought would result in anything.
If anyone had seen how Bdubs kept begging to sleep in the infirmary to be able to monitor Etho's pulse, no one spoke.
If anyone had seen how Bdubs suddenly started learning how to grow various healing herbs despite having no use for them, no one spoke.
If Scar noticed anything about his new older sibling figure's tone when he told him bedtime stories of a certain Underworld hero, he spoke of nothing and simply hugged Bdubs to sleep.
Because if anyone were to speak, Bdubs would rather have to die than let Etho be his one weakness to a nth world destruction.
#Hermits and The Olympians#Bdubs “I love the world but I love you more”#Etho “I sacrifice myself for the world because you are in it”#idk how to write angst im doing this in the middle of the airport.#ethubs#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#hermitshipping#trafficshipping#tw implied suicidal thoughta#tw mentions of death#but no one really dies#drabble#ficlet
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nights like these
A drabble for @mcyt-drabble-exchange and made for @riceofthepuffedvariety. You can also find it here on AO3. This was a super fun exchange!! Hope you like it Rice <3
It was just going to be a few nights away from the sea. He hung his fluffy coat by the door of the little cabin, it sitting next to Etho’s green bomber jacket like it belonged there.
On warm nights like this, Etho pressed to his side, he could almost forget the itch.
Tonight he couldn’t. He snuck out of bed, slipping silently to the door.
The hook was empty, the green bomber sitting alone. His chest squeezed as he turned back, Etho stood in the doorframe, his gaze anywhere but him.
“Etho, where’s my coat?” There was no answer.
#bdubs#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#ethubs#hermitshipping#hermitcraft fanfic#hermitcraft drabble#drabble#selkie#selkie bdubs#angst#rabbit writes
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haunted
#hermitblr#hermitcraft#ethoslab#bdubs#last life smp#etho#bdouble0100#art with jeddie#my art#IM STILL NOT OVER THEM OK#THEY R GAY BC I SAY SO#THERE IS ANGST OK I CAN SMELL JT I FEEL IT IN NY BONES#anygays#ethubs
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but if you could ask him anything anonymously without him knowing it’s you?
-🏀
I... if he didn't know that it was me? So he had no fear of my reaction? How he sees me. How he feels about me.
If he loves me too.
#blog e e's#etho#ethoslab#ask#rp blog#ask blog#hermitblr#trafficblr#hermitshipping#trafficshipping#ethubs#bdoubleo100#mod note: sorry i love angst. especially etho angst#🏀#ethubs confession arc
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(Remember the argument Tango gets into with Bdubs at the end of ‘Against All Odds’ chpt 2? Here’s the aftermath of that, but from Ethos pov)
There wasn’t really enough room in the box to shove the door open with any amount of force, but Etho watched Bdubs try. When the door swung back almost directly to him after rebounding off the wall, Bdubs just laughed and caught it with his hand.
It was the kind of door-slamming typically inspired by anger, usually committed by the angry party themself—but this was Bdubs, and it wasn’t his anger he was feeding off of but someone else’s entirely. The action was not performed as a show of frustration, but as a response to being the recipient of it—some way of letting out pent-up energy, the high of knowing someone was mad at you and getting a kick out of it.
Etho followed him inside the box but not all of the way. The second push of the door had been softer, but it still managed to rebound, and it thunked lightly into Etho’s shoulder where he’d halted, half in and half out.
Bdubs was facing away from him, clearly still energized, the mic’s all turned off and the stadium clearing out but no less intensity in his being. He rummaged around the box, moving things around, straightening up in a way that was too aggressive to actually make things neater.
He picked up the small plastic tray full of pencil nubs and tiny eraser bits and old scorecards and just as soon dropped it back onto the desk in a heap, turning his head towards his shoulder but not quite looking over it as he said, “What? I can feel you standin’ there so just what, spit it out.”
Etho shrugged, not that Bdubs was looking to see. “You didn’t have to harp on it.”
“Oh, pshaw—not you, too,” Bdubs scoffed, turned around and leaned up against the desk, his arms once again crossed over his chest; it was so like the picture he’d painted in the clubhouse, the scene they just left, that Etho raised an eyebrow. He didn’t expect to be playing offense. “I was just doing my damn job. Upholding journalistic integrity, or whatever-the-fuck.”
It amused him to say this; he smiled, lazily, all his teeth on display. Etho studied him, his posture, the dangerous look in his eyes.
“I know, Bdubs.” And he did.
It wasn’t really about Bdubs reporting on what had happened—in a way, he was right, he was only doing his job. He had a responsibility to relay the game play by play and word for word, that didn’t change just because sometimes things stopped going well.
“Then what’s the problem?”
Etho looked over Bdubs shoulder, out the windows they’d long since closed and locked, down towards the field, half the stadium lights already turned off and nighttime falling like a heavy blanket of snow. It was dark enough that the seats all blended together, obscuring one another and where the walls ended and sky began. All he could see was the diamond, the grass a beacon of bright green.
“You don’t know what it’s like.” It wasn’t accusatory, not said with the bitter quality of someone scorned. To Etho, it was just a fact, and so he said it as such. He didn’t put much faith in Bdubs accepting it, nothing riding on it as it wasn’t a bet he felt he could win. There’d be an ‘oh come on’ pending, Etho would concede Bdubs had only done his job, start thinking of other ways he could get him to do it a little differently.
“Yeah, and you do?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Eye contact with Bdubs always felt like a staring contest, the petty kind—the one where you accidentally locked gazes with another kid standing across from you on the playground or while on the street, bikes forming a semi-circle, and looked away without thinking anything of it, only for them to claim you lost a contest you weren’t aware you’d joined. Etho was a fan of games, indiscriminate of the type and method of playing—but one thing stayed the same across all fronts: he didn’t much like to lose.
Bdubs stood up from his lean, uncrossed his legs, his arms, and turned back towards the desk, replacing the pencil nubs that had flown from their container when he’d dropped it from a foot above the desk.
“I’ll be nicer. But not because I wanna be or because you asked or anything—and certainly not ‘cause Tango’s got his panties in a twist.”
It wasn’t the conclusion Etho had been expecting.
Bdubs pulled out his chair roughly and collapsed into the seat, head angled just slightly back toward Etho but no attempt at eye contact made.
“But because you’re right. Enjoy that now—I won’t ever say it again.”
Bdubs stared straight ahead, his fingers knotted together on top of his chest, his legs stretched out until the toe of his sneaker was up against the too-close wall. Etho turned to scoot behind his chair and get on Bdubs other side to reach his own, and he pulled it out to sit down just the same.
Their job was done for the day, the stadium mostly empty, only the very last of the janitorial staff still remaining, perhaps Impulse going over some things in his office somewhere dozens of feet below, the lights and camera flashes slowly being replaced by the spotted glow of lightning bugs. The longer they waited, the worse the commute back home would be on the subway for each of them, middle-of-the-day ballgame over and Saturday night-life in the city beginning, but for a few moments longer still, they sat.
(Read the whole story of how etho became bdubs partner in announcing here)
#worm writes#baseball au#I know I already posted the fic as a whole but#I really wanted to post this scene separately as well#a bigggg team best angst guy over here#I think I actually had this interaction POST conflict worked out before I even had the conflict itself which#is funny because this isn’t important to the actual au plotline#but it IS sort of solely what made me want to write about baseball au ethubs#ethoslab#etho#bdubs#bdoubleo100#ethubs#ethubs fic
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apocalypse! ethubs doodle zzz
#wip#ethubs#trafficshipping#dodging drawing that angst comic like the plague this is the good ending
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