#ethanspeaks
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a man stands hunched over his bathroom sink, staring through hot tears at his gaunt reflection. His tears flow freely over his cheeks, flushed from misery and the bitter battle to overcome said misery. He takes a shaky breath, and whispers,
“I will be alright. I am going to be fine again. I swear, I will one day feel whole once more.”
He, of course, is referring to the most humiliatingly painful and smelliest shit that he’d just taken after a long night of food that was way too spicy and drinks far to heavy.
He made his choice. Now he must pay the price.
#this came to me in a fever dream#i thought it. and the words poured out of me#i.... dont know what kind of day im gonna have after this one#but i dont think it'll be super#ethanspeaks#unfortunately#my heart goes out to all who have experienced this torture#be it having been in this situation or just being unlucky enough to stumble across this#sibling dearest if you read this remember. tumblr is nota reflection of who i am#i swear
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ETHAN DO YOU LOVE ANA
“..You’re pulling my dick right? Listen, Ana is nothing but a bitch who needs to know when to shut up. All she does is talk shit and give hits. I don’t like her, but I can respect her…sometimes.”
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Why do people hate on having a byf??? Like omg sorry I don't want people who support our abusers following me jfc
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whatdoineedtodotogetyououtofmyfuckinghead
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my bones ache for the very specific feeling of 2015, they ache for the summer of 2019, and i know they will ache for this feeling today
#bonesbonesbones#somedayiwilllookbackandsmileoncemore#myfuckingspacebarisbrokenimgonnaeatglass#imsofuckingpissed#ethanspeaks
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strangely. the best part of my day was seeing my ex
#we hugged for a long time#and its so painfully clear that we're both still so in love#but i had a long ass meeting today#then helped for like 7 hours with my little sisters at a trunk or treat#then found out i locked my fucking keys in my car#and i couldnt leave my truck bc this city is known for car theives#so we had to break a fucking window#it was so cold outside#fucking christ im just tired#ethanspeaks
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:/ in bold and very large
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does anyone wanna hang out w me, maybe have some soup or somethin
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uhoh! listening to bullets again
#man that album just... gets to me#i brought you my bullets you brought me your love#e s p e c i a l l y honey this mirror isnt big enough for us#and demolition lovers#it just... hurts#i also had no fuckin business listening to it at age 12#ethanspeaks#mcr#my chemical romance#bullets
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so i didn’t get proper training and was floundering for a month but somehow im the one in trouble for not knowing proper procedures
#like i love this place. the people are great#but seriously????#while getting lectured on something i forgot one manager said you already know this but DaViD yoU NEVER TOLD ME#it took nearly a month and a half to go thru the training papers. which took a total of 15 minutes.#id like to stay with this company but gotDAMN that irked the fuck out of me#i think they only got me those training papers cause i bugged em about it#ethanspeaks
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second day of therapy i can feel my mental illness quaking in fear as i become human again
#this shit is great#i will always recommend therapy#i got super lucky and got it cheap and hoo boy#i am so ready to be alive again#ethanspeaks#therapy#is mental illness innit
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i feel such a responsibility to keep you safe, every single one of you. Every friend, every work friend, every child in my care, my baby sisters, my own parents, my grandparents, i would give my soul away to keep you happy.
I’m crushed under the love i feel for you. I can no longer continue, but when i cannot walk, I must surely crawl, yes?
And so crawl I shall.
Please, please, forgive me that I cannot give all I used to. i promise to you, i’m trying the very best I can. Please, I beg you, believe me, believe me, believe me
#It isn't as much as it used to be because now there's significantly more people counting on me#the best part? i did it to myself with this job and with volunteering to help#but at the same time.. what am i to do?#i love you too much to simply quit#but im too tired to make any real difference#ethanspeaks
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i can’t breathe anymore, my own love is suffocating me
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consider: a story about a hero who has a little critter that follows him everywhere and he’s always good at getting out of handcuffs and cells and everyone assumes the critter is good at chewing thru rope or getting keys but in actuality it just follows the hero for affection and doesn’t do jack shit except bump its face against his and sit on his shoulder happily
#please someone draw this#ill try on my own too i wanna see what others visuals are#short story#ethanspeaks
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IVE GOT A BLISTER ON THE INSIDE OF MY FINGER KNUCKLE HOW DID THIS HAPPEN
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