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msmkcreates · 6 years ago

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Twice a Month I Fall in Love (16/???)

[Back to the Beginning]

Drabble continuation sponsored by @the-jennisms during the pay what you want drabble campaign! They wanted to see more about the beginnings of the switches!

As always, inspired by @undertaleprompts and their wonderful headcanons!

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~Nearly four years ago~

Papyrus could hear his brother calling for him, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered.

His body ached from the lacerations across his spine and ribs. The sting of his brother's whip was still strong in his memory.

It was the first time he knew he had failed Sans. It was the first time he'd taken a punishment for belief he had failed.

It was the first time the punishment had been in secret, between the two of them with no witnesses to posture for. The first time he realized how much LoVe his brother had absorbed, the first time he'd seen that anger in his sockets that wasn't just for show.

He'd taught him to survive, to pretend to be stronger than a monster among monsters, he had agreed to be the bitch to fool everyone into leaving his tiny, fragile Sans alone.

But somewhere along the way, it had stopped being an act. And it wasn't any clearer than the moment Sans had brandished that whip and told him to strip. He'll endure to save his brother's feelings, but…

A dry sob wracked his chest as he curled in on himself. Where did he go wrong? He'd kept Sans alive, but somehow, he hadn't been gentle enough to remind him what true loving bonds felt like. He had forgotten to nurture, preaching nature, and now it felt like he'd lost his brother for good.

He didn't even respond when Papyrus had tapped him three times, which had always been their code to say “I love you”.

What's even the point, then? If his brother is just as bad as the rest of the underground, then why would he need a screw-up like him around? If he was never going to get back to that brotherly companionship they'd had when they were kids, why even bother?

His shaking subsided, and he felt the tiniest bit of HoPe he still had just...fade.

There's no point if his brother doesn't love him anymore.

...he tasted dust between his teeth, and his only wish was that he'd been a little softer.

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Papyrus didn't stir for hours, and when he did, he vaguely recognized that he wasn't dead yet. He supposed he had a tiny bit of fight left in him after all…

He twitched and opened his sockets just a crack, confused by the warmth and light present in his room. Never mind, maybe he was dead after all--his bed had never been this comfy.

...is that...is that the sun?

He sat bolt upright, near falling over himself to get to the window nearby. In his haste he failed to notice anything but the light falling in through the curtains.

He threw them open and pressed against the window, staring in awe at the big, wide open blue sky and clouds, numb to everything except for the feeling of the warm sun spilling onto him.

It's real. It does exist. He had thought it was just stories, but here it was, he had to tell Sans, he had to--

--he paused in the act of unlatching the window, slowly realizing that...that wasn't his hand. In fact, the whole arm looked weird. He looked down, finding flesh and soft skin where previously he had had only bones.

Even through the soft t-shirt, he could tell this form was female as well. And small! He'd never seen a window outside of the palace that he didn't seem a giant compared to.

He turned and scanned the room finally, crawling off the bed and searching for a mirror. The room was clean and bright, with lavender walls and drawings pinned in various places, and there was a mirror on the door to what he assumed was the closet.

He stepped over hesitantly, observing what was definitely...not him.

A human girl, like he'd seen in books. Her hair was piled high on her head in a bun, and she looked tired and like she had cried herself to sleep.

He didn't know what was going on, or if it was permanent--had he been punished for giving up, or was he being rewarded for taking it on the chin? Is Sans here, too, or is it...is it just him?

What happened to the girl? He couldn't feel any other souls in there with him. Had she died and he only occupied the space?

He stepped back from the mirror, lowering himself to the floor and feeling the panic set in. He pulled his borrowed legs to his chest and put his borrowed head between his knees. He heard someone calling an unfamiliar name through the door and assumed it was the girl's family, but how was he supposed to do anything?? How could he face them, not knowing what was happening?

“Go away!” He called, his voice high, foreign, stressed.

“C'mon, Bumblebee, don't make me send Zack in there!”

Send who?! He glared at the door, ready to fight if it opened…

...then, the tiniest voice came through, a child, obviously, and he stopped.

“Sissy, can I come in?” It asked, and he melted. It sounded just like Sans when he was a babybones.

“...of course. Of course you can.”

The door opened, and he caught a glimpse of an older man as a young boy sidled through the door, closing it behind him and moving over to where he sat in the middle of the floor.

“I'm back from Benji's house,” he said, stopping just short of him. “Dad told me last night was rough. You need a little brother hug?”

Yes. He did need that. He pulled the boy close and held him there, and the boy didn't complain. He curled into his embrace, laying his small head on Papyrus’ borrowed shoulder, and he couldn't help the tears as they flooded forth.

...is this what this is? A second chance to do right by a little brother? To see what Sans could be?

“I'll never let you go,” he sobbed. “I'll protect you.”

“I know you will,” the child reassured him. “I'll protect you, too, okay?”

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~Before...~

You slammed the door to your room and flopped onto your bed, sobbing heavily into the pillows.

Three years. That's all you and Zack were worth to your mother, it seemed--three years of sobriety and now she's having martinis after work again. She's coming home tipsy, which means soon she'll come home drunk. You're glad she at least doesn't have access to the secret account you set up with Dad for Zack's new college fund--seeing as she squandered the last one.

You don't know how much longer you can put up with this...you just wish you were stronger, able to protect Zack better.

If only you were more capable.

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“PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS!”

You gasped awake at the unfamiliar voice and the sensation of cold water hitting your face.

Everything hit you at once--a strange sour smell, the cold room, bones, bonesbonesbones--

“OH THANK THE STARS!”

Somebody was dragging your confusing form and suddenly you felt hard hands on your face, prying your eyes open farther.

A skeleton. It was standing there, looking at you with strange purple lights that moved like irises, set deep into sockets black as night.

“GET UP, MUTT! YOU CAN'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!” The skeleton seethed, and you saw what appeared to be an expression of...guilt and worry? “I...the wounds weren't so bad to dust you, they shouldn't have been! But here you are, laying in three inches of dust, like you--”

The skeleton--you assumed from the timbre of the voice it was male--removed his hands like you burned him, rocking back slightly.

“I...WELL. YOU SHOULD GET UP,” he said, his voice wavering. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was about to cry. “ALMOST DYING ISN'T AN EXCUSE TO...TO…”

He made a confused noise as you reached out for him, flinching, and when you pulled him in for a hug he went stiff, not reciprocating but just locked up, as if waiting to see if it would pass.

“i'm sorry i scared you. i'm okay.”

You didn't really know if that was true. Your back hurt tremendously, your voice was deep and frightfully hoarse, and somehow your hands were just bone...in fact, any part of you that you could see was just bone, clad in tattered purple plaid and jeans.

But you were getting a younger brother vibe from this skeleton, maybe not as young as Zack but still younger, and he needed comfort. You'd seen it.

He shoved you off, finally, looking at you with a mixed expression, before turning and making towards the small light pouring in through the door.

“BE DOWNSTAIRS IN FIVE MINUTES AND QUIT ACTING WEIRD!”

You rubbed your chest where he'd struck when he pushed off...okay, you definitely don't have boobs anymore. This all should probably freak you out a bit more, to be honest.

You glanced around the room, finding a light switch near the bed. You flicked it on and noticed a mirror, and so you got up, taking a step towards it--

--only to fall to the floor with a strangled yelp, immediately tripping over your own feet and falling in a heap on the floor. Your back seared with pain and you squeezed your eyes for a moment, before chancing a glance in the full-length mirror as you slowly drew yourself to your knees.

Okay, scratch that, definitely not your knees.

You touched the mirror, as if that would change what you were seeing. You were just as skeletal as the skeleton who had just left, though clearly bigger. The sockets blinked, and you shook your head, confused.

Okay. You're dead, you suppose. That's the answer, right? You wobbled to your feet, the long, gangly legs not obeying you. You managed to get to the window, looking out into the bleak light.

You gasped, not only at the snow, which was everywhere, but at the varied types of...people...walking around. You could only catch glimpses from the window, but you saw all sorts of things--anthropomorphic rabbits walking regular rabbits on leashes, slime people, a man made of fire rushing up the snow-covered road, and more.

You pulled away from the window, a little confused, but...giddy. You were surrounded by monsters, like, real ones! Maybe this was a dream, but it was a cool one!

But...what if it wasn't a dream? You paused, looking in the mirror again. You could still feel the weird pain in your back...did the other one say he did that to you? Er, to this person? If that's the case with someone who clearly cares about you, even if he's a little Tsundere, then what are strangers like?

You wrapped your long arms around yourself, unsure and confused. Why are you here? What about Zack and Dad? Is this place even safe? Was this some sort of punishment for feeling sorry for yourself about Mom?

...you wish you had the answers.

To Be Continued...

#tamifil #twice a month i fall in love #sf!papyrus/reader #sf!papyrus #sf!sans #flashback

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