#especially so early in the series makes it feel like there isn't even like. an antagonist

[winedarkthoughts]

house of addams (7)

— 🌖 pairing: ot7 x fem.reader

— 🕷️ genre: mystery, angst + fluff + smut

— 🗝️ word count: 7.3k

— 🍄 summary: you’re invited for a night at the Addams house.

— ☕ content warnings: mentions of (mutual) stalking and taking photos without consent, smoking, weapons + firearms

— 🕸️ a/n: ok listen, i am a sucker for tropes.

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chpt. 7: the dinner party

october 30, 2004

The gates of the Addams house greet you with open iron rails, swinging open, just like before, without any kind of assistance. It only makes you hesitate for a moment, because you figure you're in for more of a shock once you get inside.

The Addams house looms tall and intimidating from atop the hill. The sun has nearly completed its descent past the treetops into the darkening wilderness, and the windows of the house are aglow with warm light. It makes it look more like a place fit for habitation.

The image of all of them cozied up at the dinner table, ready to share a meal together like a little family, pops into your mind. But it is very quickly shooed away, because it hurts a little to think of happy families.

A few old lamposts illuminate your way up the path. When you get a little closer, you can see shadows moving through the dirty glass windows.

Even in the darkness, you can see the overgrown weeds and crumbling stone that makes up the exterior of the house, and it makes you even more curious to see what it looks like inside.

Standing on the front landing, you check your watch. Five fifty-five p.m. The invitation said six sharp, so you figure it won't hurt to arrive a few minutes early.

The iron knocker is in the image of a black cat's head, with a mouse dangling by its tail as the handle. You grasp the mouse and rap it against the door three times.

A few moments pass before the old wood is creaking open.

You're half expecting the door to open by itself like the gate, but no. Jungkook stands there, dressed in a dark pinstripe suit with his hair in slick curls. The warm lamplight crawls across his face, but his strange paleness still startles you a little.

"Good evening," he greets you, opening the door wider to beckon you inside.

You're glad you're dressed adequately. The formal dress code was a little intimidating. You opted for slacks, a white button-up, tie, leather vest (even with a silver pocket watch chain for extra flare), and an oversized suit jacket. All with the leather coat you purchased at the bookshop thrown overtop to combat the cold.

Wearing a dress isn't ideal in any situation other than for looks, especially when you're carrying items that are meant to remain concealed, so you opted for a more practical outfit.

You're expecting the inside of the house to be just as decrepit as the outside, but this isn't the case. The long, elegant hallway is lined with framed oil paintings and sconces holding lit candles, flickering in the slight draft, an air that feels a little ghostly.

You follow Jungkook into a large foyer with polished floors and a tall domed ceiling overhead. A grand staircase that branches in two directions leads up to the balconied second floor.

You can't help stopping for a moment to admire the grandeur of the place. Every curve, every corner, is embellished with carved wood or shining brass accents. It isn't even dusty, let alone decrepit.

"Come," Jungkook says softly. "He's waiting for you in the lounge."

He leads you through more labyrinthine hallways, all aglow with candlelight, gesturing you through an oak door.

The room inside is dimly lit with soft lamps, a fully-stocked bar tucked into one corner, the remaining walls lined with full bookshelves. There's plenty of seating options, from plush-looking armchairs to curving sofas.

"I'll see where he's gone off to. Wait here, please," Jungkook blurts out, sounding nervous, and closes the door without waiting for a reply.

You take the opportunity to look around a bit.

Lush ferns decorate almost every potential empty space, probably thanks to Yoongi. There's a table in the center of the circle of seating options, crowded with appetizers. Oysters on the half shell, perfectly pink shrimp and cocktail sauce, chunks of fresh salmon with lemon wedges, all resting on giant slabs of ice.

You walk over to the ledge of the bar, examining all the fancy bottles and crystal decanters. Some of them have little tags hanging from their glass necks, labelling them. Blackberry vodka, silver rum, 0.3% cyanide, hemlock syrup.

It's just as you're ducking your head under to examine the hidden shelves behind the bar counter when a light voice interjects,

"Nosy little thing, aren't you?"

You turn to find the head of the house himself standing there in the doorway, though you didn't hear it open or him enter.

You've never seen him this close before. And what a vision he is. Dressed in all black, skin showing through the deep cut V in his shirt, hair slicked back, and a grin that's just as slick to match.

"Yes," you quip back, unapologetic. "I've made a career out of it."

His smile only widens, as if to say I'm well aware.

"Drink?"

"Please," you reply.

His smile, which is much brighter and lighthearted than you anticipated, remains as he crosses the room and stands behind the bar.

"Any preference?" he asks.

"Whatever you recommend," you answer, plopping down on the velvet green Chesterfield sofa, digging in your bag for your notes. At this point, it's less of a bag and more of a giant mess of papers and folders and photographs held together by a few pieces of straining fabric.

Hoseok plucks a perfect sphere of ice out of a silver dish, dropping it into a martini shaker. He grabs the decanter of blackberry vodka, and a few other bottles and mixers.

"Very thorough, aren't you?" he asks as he pours shots and drizzles into the shaker.

"That's right," you respond, spreading out the near-endless stream of documents according to the map in your head.

You can hear the clack of the shaker, the sound of its contents being poured. A moment later, a martini glass filled with near pitch-dark liquid, garnished with a blackberry, is placed by your side.

"Thank you," you say, grabbing the glass and taking a sip. There's the hint of flavored vodka, a berry tartness, and some other taste that you can't quite name.

Hoseok sinks down in the chair across from you with a matching glass in his hand, crossing one slim leg over the other.

"So," he begins, and you don't have to look at him to feel his eyes scanning you up and down. "You're the one she settled on to sort out this mess."

You pause your obsessive shuffling.

"She?"

In the middle of taking a sip from his drink, he looks at you like he's a little confused.

"The mayor? She is the one who hired you, isn't she?" he asks.

"Yes," you admit. "What of it?"

A slight smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

"I admire your suspicion, ______," Hoseok says, and hearing your name from his mouth is strangely thrilling. "But you must trust me when I say that me and my family have done nothing to cause the deaths and disappearances, at least to our knowledge."

"Then you better start telling me what you know," you reply sharply, fixing him with a strict gaze, and he doesn't break it.

"That is why you invited me here, isn't it?" you ask. "To tell me what you know?"

Hoseok considers it for a moment.

"Of sorts, yes," he replies, cryptidly.

You suppress the slight annoyance that wants to creep into your expression, focusing back on your documents. Spreading out a map littered with red circles and connecting lines, you point to one of the marked indicators.

"This is the Addams House, correct?" you ask, instinctively using your interrogation voice without realizing it.

It makes Hoseok chuckle internally.

"Correct," he replies cooly.

"And these," you point to several of the red circles. "Are the last known locations of the five missing persons. Remarkably close, hmm?"

"Come now, ______," Hoseok says in a playfully chiding voice. "Location may be suggestive, but it isn't incriminating."

"I never said it was," you bite back. "I'm merely suggesting that this house, as well as the surrounding area, displays some very strange qualities. And I can't leave any stone unturned."

Hoseok nods, almost appreciatively.

“I’d expect nothing less,” he says, smiling that same radiant smile.

“You’ve done your job well, haven’t you?” he inquires, setting his glass down and rising from his seat, beginning to circle around the couch.

“I should hope so,” you reply a little hesitantly.

He passes by the bar and picks up the discarded martini shaker, fiddling with it, the ice inside clanking.

“How far-reaching are your investigative powers, I wonder?” he says.

He’s at your right-hand side, and suddenly he tosses the shaker halfway across the room in a perfect arc. It lands in the small sink at the bar counter with a loud clang.

Your head whips toward the sound, focus ripped away from the sea of papers.

When you look back at him, he’s adjusting his jacket lapels, sauntering back over to his seat.

“Far enough to get the job done, I suppose," you reply, trying to uphold a neutral yet strict tone of voice.

"Hmm," Hoseok says, raising a brow. "Far enough to constitute stalking?"

The back of your neck prickles.

"What makes you say that?" you ask, though both of you know well enough that you're playing dumb.

"Ever heard the expression "walls have ears?" Well, trees have eyes, and they've told me all about you."

He's back in his seat, but you still feel like he's circling around you. Not many people make you nervous, let alone intimidate you, but Hoseok is apparently one of the exceptions.

"You should know that I am very protective over my family," he says, the tone of his voice dipping a little deeper. "Naturally, I keep an eye on them."

With that, he reaches into his inside jacket and pulls out several files. Flipping open to specific pages, he throws them down on the coffee table between the two of you with a papery slap!

Staring up at you are several photos, and it takes you a second to recognize them as ones from your own camera.

Jimin, walking to class, his hand frozen in time while brushing through his hair. Taehyung, hands in his coat pockets, meandering through town on his way to the police station. Jin, leaning against the garden wall, cradling a coffee cup in his hands.

It takes you another few seconds to realize that the file is from the pile of folders you brought with you. He must've slipped it from you when he tossed the shaker into the sink, a diversion to make you turn your head.

A crooked grin, slick voice, and sticky fingers apparently.

"I admire the dedication even more than the suspicion," Hoseok says, reaching into his jacket again, but this time he pulls out a silver cigarette case.

He holds it towards you with a questioning tilt of his head, offering you one, but you shake your head. He takes one out, puts it to his lips and lights it with the flick of a lighter.

It doesn't smell like tobacco though, more like cloves and pennyroyal buds.

"Technically," you begin. "Stalking includes inducing fear in the victim; intimidation, threats, and the like."

The subtext is clear: good luck taking me to court for this.

A smile breaks out on his face.

"No harm done," he says. "They were quite flattered, actually."

You don't really know what to do with that statement. It must show on your face, because Hoseok smirks with an exhale of fragrant smoke.

"Don't worry about it, detective," he says, sounding amused. "We're all sinners here. What's a little felony charge here and there?"

You watch the ghosts of smoke twist from the end of the cigarette between his slim fingers. Something about the way the smoke moves is unusual, like it doesn't quite obey the laws of physics that normal smoke would.

"In fact," he says, reaching into his other jacket pocket. "I must admit that I'm a little guilty myself."

He takes out another folder, opens it, and lets it fall on the table. It's a mass of photos, and they're all of you. Sitting in the cafe through the window, walking through town, collecting samples at in the woods.

Now you know where that I'm being watched feeling was coming from. If you were normal, you might've been creeped out by it. But this isn't the first time you've been trailed and you doubt it will be the last.

"I'm curious, though," he starts. "What exactly made them worthy of stalking in the first place?"

You look down at the spread of appetizers like you're contemplating reaching for one. You're not going to mention how you've been trying to distract yourself from what you saw at the lake, or the fact that you find all the inhabitants of the Addams House to be a little too compelling.

"I knew that all of them were cagey if not outright lying about living here, and given this place's reputation, I found it necessary to dig deeper," you answer in a leveled voice.

"And you figured that this place might be connected to the disturbances?" Hoseok replies, though it doesn't sound like a question.

You set him with a firm gaze.

"I never ignore patterns."

He stares right back.

"Words? Yes. Actions? Sometimes. But never patterns."

He's really staring at you, like he's trying to find the answer to some unspoken question in his head. The look in his eyes is somewhere between inquisitive and impressed, maybe even—

"I think you have darker thoughts than you realize, detective," he says. The smoke tendrils from his last drag hang, mesmerizing, between the two of you.

"If you truly want to know what's strange about this place, I can show you."

He's leaning forward slightly in his chair, and but before you even have time to think about what that means, the loud clang of a bell is sounding through the air.

"Ah," Hoseok says, taking one last puff from his cigarette before stubbing it out in the crystal ashtray on the coffee table. "That's Jin calling us to dinner."

He rises to a stand and straightens his jacket lapels.

"Once you're done with your cocktail, we'll head into the dining room."

You haphazardly gather your notes, down the rest of your drink, and follow him out of the room.

He leads you through the ornate hallways, quickly darkening with the setting of the sun. The sound of clinking dishes and pleasant chatter grows steadily louder.

When you emerge into what you presume is the kitchen, you're almost struck speechless.

It's a humongous, grand, high-ceilinged room, and nearly everything is in shades of green and gold. The dark marble floors are flecked with gold veins, the dark wood cupboards and drawers are fixed with gold handles, even the smell in the air has a rich, golden warmth to it.

The countertops are a deep jade quartz, and the floor to ceiling stained glass windows are in patterns of emerald and amber. More plants decorate the space, though these are taller and more lush.

The huge stove is crowded with copper pots and pans, all sizzling and bubbling and hissing with their savory aroma.

There's someone standing over the stove, wearing a crisp white button-up and black apron, a small saucepan in one hand, swirling sauce on a plate in fancy shapes. There's a whole line of plates before him, making him look like a master chef plating up a dish for a hoard of diners.

"Oh, hello _______," the man says cheerfully when he notices you, and you realize that it's Jin (though you guessed as much from his ridiculously broad shoulders).

The next second he's squirting something into a different pan, sending up a surge of sweet-smelling flames, though he doesn't even turn his head from you.

"Hello," you manage to greet him, captivated by how he expertly juggles everything. There's sauteing vegetables, sizzling meats, a bubbling broth, not to mention something that you can't see in the oven.

The sound of shattering glass sounds from the next room.

Hoseok suppresses an eye roll.

"Please excuse me, detective," he says, sounding like a slightly annoyed parent. "If you wouldn't mind lingering in the kitchen while I sort this out. Jin so likes the company."

Jin flicks a spurt of hot oil over one shoulder, missing Hoseok by an inch, but he only bursts into laughter while sliding out of the room.

Jin doesn't seem to mind as you curiously look around the gigantic room, he just continues his work in comfortable silence.

That's a common theme with Jin. He's charismatic and perfectly capable of carrying a conversation, but he appears to enjoy your company despite how quiet and reserved you are. He merely glances your way every few moments, like he's reassuring himself that you're still there.

You like how he doesn't push you for conversation. It seems like he enjoys observing you just as much as you enjoy observing your surroundings (though you do enjoy observing him when he's not looking).

"Very impressive," you can't help but say as you watch him out of the corner of your eye.

"Thank you," he replies happily, and then adds playfully, "Feel free to mention that at the table."

Your eyes scan over the variety of coffee contraptions, no doubt because of Jin the cafe owner. Then you reach the refrigerator, black with gold handles, but instead of plastic magnets there are little antique picture frames with photos of all if the house's inhabitants. Because of course even the fridge has to align with the aesthetic.

"Looking for something?" Jin quips, clearly amused.

It's then that you wonder what exactly you'd find inside the fridge. Jin knows you've been watching him. Does he know what you suspect he is?

"What would I possibly be looking for?" you reply nonchalantly.

Jin lets out a chuckle that would dissolve even the thickest tension.

"If you're looking for blood bags and raw meat, you won't find them here."

He says it so jokingly, that you start to think maybe you were wrong about him. Maybe is he just some normal man with normal tendencies, the only reason for his nocturnal lifestyle attributed to him owning a 24 hour coffee shop.

Maybe you don't have to imagine him standing among a rack of blood bags at the local hospital, stealing them for his own benefit while leaving others without the vital resource.

Because if that's the case, then you have no reason to suspect he has anything to do with the deaths and disappearances. Maybe you could even—

"I don't keep them in that fridge," he says.

Your amused expression drops.

The timer on the oven beeps.

"Almost ready. If you wouldn't mind moving into the dining room and taking your seat," Jin says, focusing back on plating each dish.

You take the hint, leaving him in his element.

Another grand room, but with much higher ceilings, almost like a dark cathedral. There are the same stained glass windows and marble floors, and a massive crystal chandelier lit by tapering candles hangs overhead, though you have no idea how anyone could get so high up in order to light them.

Though the thing that demands the most attention is the long table in the center of the room. More dripping candles, some more like piles of wax with a lit wick, and bouquets of dried flowers serve as centerpieces. A black lace tablecloth, glinting silverware, dishes with images of crows and insects.

You don't even notice the people standing around the table until a small projectile is hurtling past you. Head whipping around, you see Jimin standing there with a slingshot held up to his face, and that face painted with a smirk.

From the way he's looking at you, it's not outrageous to assume that he was aiming at you. That is, until you hear a crash from behind you.

"Hey! Don't hit my azaleas!"

You immediately recognize the voice as Yoongi's, but your eyes are locked on Jimin. This is the first time you've seen him without a mask.

Uncovered by a hat, his silver hair falls across his forehead, and his eyes, unobscured by sunglasses, shine a strange blue-gray.

Something about his face is dangerous, it makes you want to see how close you can get before that danger becomes a real threat.

"You missed," you say, even though the smirk on his face is not one that belongs to someone who's missed their shot.

He just smiles on, and his teeth are sharp. Unnaturally sharp, as if every tooth beyond the front two have been filed down to fine points.

"If I wanted to hit you, I would've hit you," Jimin replies.

Hoseok approaches the two of you, ready to unleash another lethal roll of his eyes. He holds out his hand, and Jimin gives up the slingshot with a little huff.

"We have a no weapons at the table policy," Hoseok explains as Jimin pushes past him. You move to follow, but Hoseok stops you too.

"I'm afraid we also have a no recording devices at the table policy," he says with a knowing look.

You stare at him in slight disbelief, but he appears to be serious.

You want them to trust you, if only for the sake of the investigation. If they know something, you can't seem like a threat.

So you start to empty your pockets.

There's the microcassette recorder in your coat pocket, the digital recorder in your pants pocket, the flash drive recorder in your other pants pocket, the pen recorder in your inner jacket pocket.

You make a show of straightening your clothes before trying to slide past him, but he blocks you again with a raise of an eyebrow.

How the fuck...? Ugh, fine. You suppose you can actually be trustworthy instead of just pretending to be.

You take out the spare digital recorder in your left jacket pocket, the mini microphone in your shirt pocket, the flashlight with the secret button clipped to your belt. And the fake lapel pin. And the video camera in your bag. And the smaller backup camera in the hidden pocket inside your bag.

When you look up, you see that everyone in the room has stopped to watch you, all with expressions of slight shock.

Remembering one last thing, you hold up a finger, fishing out the micro nine pistol from the holster at the back of your waistband, setting it down at the top of the pile of contraband. As well as the extra magazine.

There’s a moment of stunned silence, and you think that maybe you shouldn’t have revealed the fact that you usually bring your gun to unfamiliar situations. But then you hear Jimin chuckle.

“Well,” he says from across the room with nothing but amusement in his tone. “It’s definitely a party now.”

Now that everyone is properly de-weaponed and de-deviced, everyone moves to take a seat, with Hoseok at one head of the table and Yoongi at the other in a tall peacock chair.

Your place is between Jimin and Taehyung, with Jungkook and Namjoon sitting across the table.

You should’ve guessed that Namjoon would be here, live here. As a P.I., you’re kicking yourself that you didn’t guess as much earlier.

Jin is still in the kitchen, dishes clanking. And what you perceive as awkward silence hangs in the air. To them, it simply feels like impatience being soothed.

You wait, wait for one of them to acknowledge the situation. Why have you been invited here?

“Did you enjoy the appetizers, _____?” Jimin asks.

You sneak a glance at him. He’s dressed in a silk shirt that billows around his form, his pale hair now pushed back from his forehead, transforming his face from relatively innocent to dangerously attractive. He watches you eagerly, waiting for your reply. He caught all of the seafood himself, after all.

You just nod in response, but Jimin flashes you a pleased smile all the same.

“We weren’t allowed to have any, of course,” Taehyung remarks, giving Hoseok a pointed look.

“Guests eat first, Taehyung, you know that,” he replies swiftly, but from the little grin on both their faces, it’s clear they’re only teasing.

You wonder how often they have guests in a place like this.

Another silence falls, you sneaking glances at everyone around the table. Except when you dare glance at Hoseok, he’s already looking. He must sense your discomfort, because then he’s saying, “My apologies, detective. We haven’t had proper introductions yet.”

He starts with the person to his left.

“This is Taehyung, our resident coroner. He runs the morgue downstairs.”

This is the first time you’ve made eye contact with Taehyung since you arrived in the house, and he doesn’t seem like the same man you met in the morgue. This man is at ease in his own home, a man who isn’t bound by professional constraints. He’s looking at you now less like a private investigator and more like a stranger that he doesn’t want to remain a stranger.

You’re not sure which you prefer.

“This is Jimin, he’s currently studying chemistry and marine biology at the university.”

Jimin meets your gaze when you glance at him, cocking his head back slightly and flashing a hint of those sharp teeth again.

“Yoongi, our genius little green thumb. He’s the one who keeps the place nice and lush,” Hoseok gushes, and Yoongi gives a little wave and straight-lipped smile, blushing only slightly.

“Namjoon, our favorite bookworm. And brilliant scholar! About to publish his third book.” Namjoon nods his head towards you with a small smile.

“And this is Jungkook, the youngest problem in the bunch,” Hoseok says, gesturing towards the young man in the pinstripe suit. Jungkook acknowledges you still somewhat nervously.

“Forgotten someone?” A voice calls.

Jin saunters into the room, having abandoned his apron for a lace jacket with sewn-on fabric flowers. He takes the empty seat to Hoseok’s right, straightening his hair. But it doesn’t like he’s been slaving in the kitchen this whole time at all. Not one stain on his clothes, not one dew drop of sweat.

“Could never forget you, darling,” Hoseok replies. “And this is Jin, our lovely chef who keeps us all so well fed.”

Jin gives a tiny little bow in your direction, along with one of his charming smiles.

There’s another pause, as if they’re waiting for you to say something. All you can think of is that they already know you, there’s no need for you to introduce yourself. So you say the first adjacent thing to come to your head:

“Glad to have met all of you.”

And you barely notice it, already looking down at your empty plate, but they simultaneously stifle the flutter in their gut.

“Alright,” Jin announces, clapping his hands together. “Let’s eat!”

Everyone but you, in near perfect synchronicity, grabs the silver cloche set before each of their table settings, and places it over their plate. Jimin gestures for you to do the same, so you obey.

When you remove it again, after everyone else does the same, the former empty plate is suddenly full. A thick and creamy soup, speckled with spices, steaming in a bread bowl crusted with garlic and herbs.

And of course no one bats an eye at the casual error in the law of physics, too busy passing around a bowl of greens to garnish and a bottle of red wine to fill their glasses. You don’t object when Taehyung holds the bottle over your own glass with a questioning raise of his eyebrow.

And by God, is it delicious. The cream base of the soup melts perfectly with hints of herbs and the peppery bite of truffle shavings. And of course, the best part is being able to break off a bit of flavored bread and dip it into the pot of gold before you.

“This is delicious,” you can’t help but blurt out, saying it like an aggressively objective fact.

“Thank you,” Jin replies, smiling wide like a child that was just complimented on their most recent art project. Except you can’t display a bowl of soup on the fridge, but you would if you could.

“Yoongi helped me forage the mushrooms,” Jin adds.

Mushrooms? Now that you think of it, the soup does have a distinct earthy taste.

“Do you forage often?” you ask, looking at Yoongi.

“Not as often as I’d like,” he replies.

“Why is that?” you ask, and a small smile tugs at Yoongi’s mouth. There’s a shared chuckle from around the table.

“What?” you blurt out, almost certain that they are making fun of you or know something that you don’t, probably both.

“You’re doing your interrogator voice,” Jimin says, but it doesn’t sound malicious, more like…endeared?

A look around the table, and everyone’s face matches the tone of his voice. He says it as if the two of you have known each other for years, as if you’re friends. It puts a strange, almost sickly feeling in your stomach. You set down your spoon.

Soon the air is filled with pleasant dinner-time chatter. They keep trying to bring you into the conversation, like you’re somehow one of them. But you’re here to get a job done.

It becomes exceedingly more difficult to concentrate solely on the case when the main course comes out. Again, due only to the covering and uncovering of your plates with the silver cloches, the remains of your soup disappearing.

A choice cut steak, generously seasoned, drizzled with a red wine sauce, a heap of garlic and herb mashed potatoes, and more mushrooms grilled to tenderness. You’re not normally fond of mushrooms, but these are surprisingly flavorful in a way you wouldn’t expect from a vegetable, let alone a fungus.

“They’re Pepperwood caps,” Jin says, as if reading your thoughts. “Yoongi grows them on the grounds.”

In all your research, you’ve never heard of Pepperwood caps.

“Hoseok isn’t eating them,” you say pointedly. “Neither is Jungkook,” you continue. There are no Pepperwood caps on either of their plates. Instead, a small pile of white capped mushrooms with brown spots.

“To my knowledge, those are Deadly Dapperlings, yes?”

They all look at each other.

“You don’t miss anything, do you detective?” Hoseok says with a little grin.

Your research on fungi has made you a novice at recognizing the lethal ones.

“Jungkook and I find that the poisonous ones have a particularly robust flavor,” Hoseok continues.

You watch him as he says it, waiting for him to elaborate, but he never does. So you return your attention to your perfectly cooked steak.

“I imagine you’re curious about what precisely the fuck we all are,” Jin interjects the silence, and your fork stops halfway to your mouth.

“Really all that needs to be said is that whatever you’ve already deduced is probably true.” He has his hands clasped together, his shirtsleeve riding up to expose the crescent-shaped bite mark on the inside of his wrist. He smiles when he notices you staring.

“Don’t worry,” he says, sounding amused. “I can be trusted around exposed neck flesh.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“So there’ll be no biting over the course of the evening?” you quip, only half joking.

Jin maintains his level gaze.

“Only if you want it desperately,” he replies.

You mold your face into a hard mask of indifference before you say something stupid.

“I must admit,” Taehyung begins. “I'm a little older than I look."

You stare at him like you’re trying to read a book. It’s true, he doesn’t look a day over thirty.

Jimin clears his throat.

"I'm not exactly...from here," he says, and when you look at him you swear you see something shift underneath his shirt.

The man in the peacock chair shifts.

"I'm a little more tuned into nature than most people," Yoongi adds. It’s only then that you notice that the dried flowers in their vases are leaning towards him like he’s the sun.

Jungkook is fidgeting in his chair, avoiding your gaze. But you can gather as much from the pallor of his skin and the deep-set dark circles under his eyes, both of which become clearer and easier to see the more times you look at him.

He has a ghostly air about him, like a whisper in the wind.

You look at Namjoon, and he smiles with a shrug.

"I just run a bookshop," he says.

A shared laugh sounds around the table. Namjoon rolls his eyes.

"Okay, maybe I've made a few blood pacts, but I'm a folklorist for Christ's sake!"

You genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking, but you suppose it doesn’t matter. Though, judging by what you’ve seen tonight, he’s probably telling nothing but the truth.

Finally, you turn to Hoseok.

“I’m…not all there,” he says, and you wait patiently for more.

He scratches the back of his head, looking like he’s trying to find the right words.

“You can see me sitting here, but it’s only half of me. You can touch me and hear my voice, but it’s not actually me. I need to be…contained.”

Now you’re staring at him in confusion.

“You ever read The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?” Namjoon asks.

Before you can answer, another loud clang of the bell is sounding. Everyone else merely looks at the clock, but you flinch violently at the skull-rattling volume of the noise.

Jin wipes the corner of his mouth with his cloth napkin and pushes his chair back. Everyone else does the same, covering their now empty plates with the silver cloches.

Hoseok rises to a stand.

“Would you like to join us for coffee and cocktails in the library? Dessert should be ready shortly,” Hoseok says, though it doesn’t sound much like question when he heads down the hallway without waiting for an answer. And apparently it didn’t sound like a question to anyone else either, because Jimin and Taehyung are soon pulling you up from your chair and leading you out of the room, with Jimin even wrapping one arm around yours as Taehyung presses himself to your side.

The library is a dark room, no less grand than the rest of the house, with the same candlelit chandelier and sconces. Floor to ceiling bookshelves wrap themselves around the entirety of the room, complete with a wooden ladder on a sliding rail. There’s a roaring fire in the fireplace, and plenty of leather chairs and couches gathered around it.

Jimin lets you go when the door is shut securely behind you.

“Who wants a drink?” Jin asks, heading over to the bar cart in the corner, but you’re more drawn to the tea set on the low table by the fireplace. It’s all black and gold, with little images of ravens on the cups and saucers.

You pour yourself a cup with cream and sugar, taking a languid sip and relishing in its perfect richness.

Jin distributes the drinks as he prepares them without having to ask anyone what they want. A glass of white wine for Taehyung, something sparkling and slightly radioactive looking for Jimin, that same blackberry concoction for Hoseok, hot toddies for Namjoon and Jungkook, and a glass of some citrusy cordial for Yoongi. When you get a closer look at his glass you notice that Jin even took the time to carve a little jack-o-lantern face into half a tangerine as a garnish.

Jin makes himself the dirtiest martini you've ever seen, with only half the glass with liquid in it, the top half being a copious pile of olives.

“So, detective,” Hoseok says, leaning against one of the bookshelves. “How can we be of service?”

Your eyebrows raise.

“You want to help?” you ask, still incredulous. Because to be honest, you’re not quite sure what the purpose of this evening is supposed to be. To intimidate you? Confuse you? Judging by the fact that you stalked them because they fell under your radar of suspicion. You figured that if they were going to offer to help they could’ve done it with an email.

“Of course,” Taehyung says from his seat on one of the couches. “The last thing I want is more bodies on my autopsy table due to deaths that could’ve been avoided.”

“And something is harming the wildlife,” Yoongi adds.

You set down your cup and saucer, digging in your bag to start spreading papers all around you.

“What’s the deal with the mayor?” you ask.

“She's...unpopular with the general population," Namjoon offers. "A little too different."

"She won the election, didn't she?" you counter.

"By the skin of her teeth," Jimin replies. "Minority vote kicked in at the last second. And a lot of people aren't happy about it."

"Different, huh?" you say. The implication is clear.

"Or at least, her ancestors were, and I think her daughter is too. Tends to run in the family, stuff like that," Taehyung adds.

"She looks out for those like us," Yoongi says. "When she can, that is. It's gotten a little harder these days."

"Why is that?" you ask.

Yoongi shrugs.

"That's just how it goes. Some times are harder than others."

"Is that why the mayor wanted everything off the record? Why there's hardly been any media coverage?" you ask.

"That's what I'm guessing," Yoongi replies.

"She's paying me out of pocket," you inform them.

"That doesn't surprise me much," Namjoon adds. "She's always been too generous for her own good. I imagine she cares more about this strange case than most of her colleagues."

"So she knows about all of your…proclivities? That’s why she sent me your way?” you ask.

“I’d be surprised if she didn’t,” Yoongi replies. “Normal people tend to think we’re weirdos, but those who are like us know when they’re looking in a mirror.”

"What about the paper?" you ask.

Their expressions cloud with confusion.

“Uh, what about it?”

Ah, have you finally breached the topic of something they want to hide?

“Several people have claimed to have negative experiences with the press, but the main publishers have barely commented on any of the cases.”

“Oh, you mean the Periscope Press,” Taehyung supplies.

Hmm, maybe they don’t have anything to hide after all. But that doesn’t mean you trust them yet.

“It’s an underground newspaper, independently published, geared towards folks like us. Though it’s mostly full of garbage these days, we don’t have a subscription,” Taehyung explains.

“We can get you copies of the last few editions, though,” Jungkook adds, startling you a little since you haven’t heard him speak much tonight. He suddenly looks down at his shoes like he just realized the fact too.

“If you want,” he says, this time in nearly a whisper.

“That would be great, thank you,” you reply graciously, though he continues to avoid your gaze.

“So, detective,” Hoseok begins, and with the drink his voice is a touch more gravelly. “What’s your next move?”

They’re all looking at you now, curious and waiting.

You look down at your notes and fight the urge to clench your fist, because to honest, you’re not sure.

“I’m sure our little sleuth has a plan,” Jimin quips from his place sprawled out across one of the couches.

“I’d like to get access to Bradley’s reports and records, and wear down Mrs. Bradley if at all possible,” you begin, forming a list in your head. “I’d like to continue fieldwork around the woods and the lake, maybe see if anyone at the university can do some tests on those unusual mushrooms. I’ll be continuing my rounds around town to see if any civilians have anything to offer. Hopefully I can get some more information on the ones still missing.”

“And the lake?” Jimin asks.

You don’t want to talk about the lake. Thinking about it puts a sinking feeling in your gut, the stench of hot poisoned salt water filling your nose.

You don’t want to talk about what you saw. In your line of work, simply seeing isn’t enough. All that matters is hard evidence. So that’s what you’re gonna get.

Downing the dregs of your coffee cup, you start to gather up your notes.

“You’re leaving?” Jimin says, sounding wounded. “Before dessert?”

“I’m afraid there’s some things I wanted to get done tonight,” you say, ready to retreat back into your hole and dive back into the distraction of your work, where there aren’t several pairs of sultry dark eyes watching your every move.

“I suppose it is getting late,” Hoseok says. Though he doesn’t mention that many of them either don’t need to sleep or simply prefer to be active into the darkest hours of the morning.

“Let us send you home with some goodies, hm?” Hoseok nods to his housemates.

Jin cuts you slice of blue velvet cake, packing it up in a little bento box container.

You object at first, saying you don’t want to take a container as nice as this one, but Jin just retorts with a wink, saying that you’ll just have to come back sometime to return it.

Yoongi takes some cuttings from one of the dining room table centerpieces, adding some clippings from plants around the house as fillers, and wraps the bouquet in brown paper tied neatly with a bow. He hands it to you with a shy expression.

Namjoon gifts you a small stack of books, bound together by a leather strap, with The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at the top of the pile. He gives you a smile when you notice.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Jungkook says when they lead you through the dark halls to the front door, which you didn’t expect.

He carries your gifts as the two of you travers first the cobblestone path and then the small hill down to where you parked your car.

“Sorry we’re so strange. And vague. I imagine it’s frustrating,” he says suddenly.

The walk up to this point has been completely silent, so the sound of his voice startles you just a bit.

“Yes, you’re all very weird,” you say, and Jungkook’s face sinks.

“If any of you ever change I’ll be very disappointed,” you finish, and that puts a full smile on his face, full enough that you can see the bunny-like jut of his front teeth.

A few moments of silence, the wind singing a low song.

“You’re very cynical, you know,” he says.

That makes you look at him, but his face is that same neutral expression, dark eyes wide like a young doe’s. He says it like a simple observation, not with the judgmental you’re used to hearing.

“Am I?” you reply, unable to choke back the little sarcastic bite to your tone.

He nods.

“You think no one could ever believe you just for the sake of believing you. You think you need to prove yourself.”

You stare at him, long and hard enough to miss the fact that the two of you have reached your car.

He opens the door for you, and you’re glad that you’re heading to the safety of your home because all these kind gestures are starting to make you feel weird.

After you start the engine, Jungkook leans down to look at you through the open window.

“Try not to worry about the case so much,” he says softly. “Trust your instincts, you’ll figure it out.”

There’s a moment of silence where you stare at him some more, wondering how a man who’s been so quiet and shy for the duration of the evening can shock you dumb with just a handful of words.

“Thank you, Jungkook,” you manage after a while. “And thank the others for a lovely meal.”

He nods and smiles, backing up to let you drive off down the hill.

Back at home, you make a fresh pot of coffee and tuck into that slice of cake while you draft an email to the mayor detailing your most recent findings.

Then you look through all the books you have on mushrooms, even go to the internet, but you find absolutely nothing on Pepperwood caps. To the rest of the world, they don’t exist.

You fall asleep with The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde lying open in your hand.

~~~

a/n: thanks for your patience! :)

[atomicsuperrobot]

Man having read the first chapter of Encore now that it's translated and looking back at the title page of the last chapter I stopped at at Yet Another Failed Start At A Reread Of The Original (it was chapter four this time; p sure I made it farther last time), the difference is pretty startling. Everything looked so jank back then compared to now LMAO

I do wholeheartedly love the improvement tbh. ig it was only natural after 15+ years of drawing the guy.

[mcl-mia]

//another day, another route completed! this time we have nox, and amazingly, i don't think i have too many thoughts on this one, mostly because a lot of them cover... multiple bases. i'll try to explain that the best i can. blah blah blah, beware of spoilers.

okay, so i actually briefly started nox's route when it was first released, but i had to abandon it because... well, it was a bad idea to do that when i was so behind on routes in the first place, so it's not like i was going in 100% blind. this did not lead to a detrimental experience lol.

so.... nox. look. he's hot. i like his stupid little mullet and his very charming blue eyes, okay? he's hot and i'm not going to pretend that he isn't. it is still annoying to me though that you can REAAAAAALLLY tell that he was drawn by a different sprite artist. one of the best parts of the night class is that they ARE drawn by the same person, so it makes the cast look AND feel cohesive. not the biggest complaint, but it DOES bother me very slightly every time i look at nox when he's on screen with another character.

i've expressed this before, but nox's outfit as "nightmare" is... not great and knowing that it is COCO'S fault? absolutely hilarious. nox, i'm begging you to never take fashion advice from a cat again. i can fix you.

coming off that note, i know that there was budgeting issues for WH at this point in time (i believe nox's route came out around the time obey me got released, so... yikes), but i REALLY wished that they would have given nox a different pose or SOMETHING to hide that it was nox a little better. something like how the day class boys have different sprites for when they are holding their wands. i know that they basically stopped doing this after the night class boys (unless your name is alfonse), but.... sigh. come to think of it, i don't think even klaus had his front-facing sprites re-touched with the new ministry clothes. can't believe i didn't realize that until now.

i do also appreciate that they make sure to mention that nox's voice DOES change while he's in costume. i was wondering about that for the longest time lol.

speaking of chocolate cake, i am very glad that coco was a very minor character. coco is so one-note, which is disappointing because i think coco has a fantastic design. weird how that works out.

overall, the route itself is... fine. it's very day class-core, in which liz and nox get together very quickly. i mean, they TECHNICALLY get together only in the final chapters, but the quickness of both nox and rex falling in love with liz... goodness. y'all have known each other for like, 5 days. chill.

okay, i can't NOT talk about the love triangle. look, i'll be honest, it's so hard to sell a love triangle in an otome game. like, narratively, liz by the point in time rex's route begins, doesn't even reciprocate rex's feelings. it's funny to me in the moment knowing this, but it is a little annoying in practice. imo, if your love triangle is unable to become a reasonable threesome then don't write a love triangle. imo, nox and rex lack that kind of chemistry, so it's not the Good Shit. not to say that i don't think nox and rex shouldn't be hate-fucking each other (because they should, we love rivals to lovers here), it's just that they don't know how to fucking share and it would be way too distracting and nothing would happen. do you understand what i mean by this. i can't wait to get to gray's route so i can see liz turn the both of them down.

i will never tire of lucious being such a good friend.

genuinely, this puts a smile on my face. like, all of the night class boys do, but lucious being the first person to notice when liz falls in love is so important to me (ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AMELIA!!! IS STILL!!!!! BARELY HERE!!!!!!!!!). i love that liz has another person to talk about boys with. it's so delightful.

i do appreciate that nox has a good reason for being the phantom thief, but... come on, man. you're REALLY telling me that NOBODY is going to figure out that you're nightmare? let's just compile the evidence for a sec:

works in a magical tool shop (strike 1)

said magical tool shop SPECIALIZES in roger nigel's tools, which nox is an expert on. like, at some point you have to wonder where they're getting their stock, even if nox keeps the important ones hidden.

while nox does use his mother's maiden name, i'm pretty sure that anyone that looks into roger nigel in ANY capacity is going to figure out who roger's wife was. i would not be surprised if rex, who is literally a reference dept. worker, would have access to this info. this would expose his relationship to roger immediately.

the way nox does his calling cards for the cast is dangerous. rex picks up on the fact that nightmare had "convenient timing, like he was listening in on their conversations" (which... lol, he was). there is a point where he literally sends one while in the SAME ROOM as everyone else (especially rex, who 100% has him figured out). ballsy, but unnecessarily risky. i'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he doesn't do this with all of his calling cards.

if liz can look into nightmare's eyes and be able to tell it's nox, i'm sure the other people who spent many years with him would be able to do do the same.

like, come on man. be a better phantom thief LMAO.

actually, i want to talk about rex for a second. because i will admit, i don't find him nearly as attractive or interesting as nox, but i have to respect the HUGE big dick energy play he did in nox's happy ending.

LIKE. HOLY SHIT. ACTUALLY GREAT TWIST. i actually gasped lmao.

the 'our little brothers' comment does certainly solidify to me that rex already figured it out, though. i'm curious to see why he hasn't turned nox in yet... but i'm sure it has something to do with their rivalry. whatever it is, i think it's a selfish reason, since i doubt rex would know the real reason why nox is collecting the tools.

overall it's not a bad route, it's just not very remarkable. since there's no big bad threat looming over the narrative, there's less stakes. i get the feeling as though this mystery series (and possibly the next two, but i hear that clive's route has some particularly juicy dramatic bits so we'll see) is going to feel like a filler arc. not a bad thing by any means, it's very welcome, but just not as fulfilling as some of the other routes in the game. again, it's very day class-core, so it does evoke some nostalgic feelings in that way.

[asidian]

One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.

I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.

Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.

When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.

Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.

This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.

But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.

On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.

Which brings us to Charles.

Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.

During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.

But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.

Let's start with the Devlin House.

Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.

Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.

So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.

Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.

And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.

Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.

That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.

Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.

Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."

And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.

And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.

And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.

This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.

And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.

Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.

But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.

To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.

And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.

Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.

Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.

They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.

She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.

They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.

But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)

But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.

And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.

Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.

But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.

Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.

In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.

And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.

The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.

And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.

Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.

Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.

For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.

Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.

It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.

Charles' is just as touching.

And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.

[dixons-sunshine]

Saw your birthday post and I’m here to say dad!daryl especially during pregnancy would be act like a caveman. You’re growing his child? He’s hunting for a mounting of food (more specifically animals especially deer) and presenting them to you like he’s at an altar. You want something. He’s already got it. Craving something that’s lots to the old world? Don’t worry he’ll do his best and if not he’ll find a suitable replacement. Dad!daryl would do anything for you already, and now you’re with his child… you really get to see how far he’d go.

Let’s not mention if you were ever in a position where he thinks you’d be in danger because he’s animalistic ensuring that you and his baby are okay.

Thank you for listening to my ted talk

Also happy early birthday!!

No because I think about this on a daily basis. You'd think I'm lying but I'm not. The amount of times I think of Daryl as a dad should be illegal lol. My own thoughts under the cut. (Sorry this isn't a proper fic. I didn't know how to write this in a way that would be in a way you deserve, but I loved this so much and didn't want this to go to waste, so I'm doing this. Hope it's okay!)

Basically everything you said is so freaking true. As far as I'm aware, aka on what I've seen in movies and what my mom has told me, the correct meat is an essential part to a pregnant woman's diet. Oh, boy, once you're pregnant and the doctor says that you need protein? You be rest assured that Daryl is not resting until he finds you the best goddamn venison he can. No rabbit or squirrel meat for the love of his life and his unborn baby. Y'all deserve only the best. He'd even fight tooth and nail if he could only find a small deer and there wouldn't be enough venison for everyone in the community and everyone wanted some. You needed it more than they did, and he'd hold someone at gunpoint if he needed to.

I've also wondered a lot about Daryl finding whatever you're craving. A few nights ago, I was really craving chips (fries) but I couldn't go buy any, so I had to make my own. While making it (at 3am if I may add) I thought about Daryl making you what you're craving during your pregnancy. If he can't find what you're craving outside the walls, he's gonna try his damn best to make it. Fries? He's picking potatoes out of the community's garden to make you that. You want a sandwich? He's gonna make you a sandwich. You want some crisps (chips)? He can't make it, but he's not gonna rest until he finds you some. It may be stale, but he doesn't care. Anything for you.

I've seen a couple of videos where the guy stands behind his pregnant partner and raises their belly to relieve some pressure. Daryl would do that! I read it in my favourite dad!Daryl series (Blood Ties by @celtic-crossbow. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it!) and I was like “yes, he would totally do that!” Anything that would help make you even the slightest bit more comfortable, he'd do it. Also, I feel like it would bring a sense of comfort to him when he does that. It'd make him feel more connected with his baby before they're born, y'know?

Don't even get me started on Daryl being extremely overprotective of you. He doesn't want you to be in any sort of danger in general, but the need to keep you safe when you're carrying his baby increases by a tenfold. Your escapades beyond the walls are put on a hold for the foreseeable future. Anything you need beyond the walls, he'll get it for you. And if you don't want him to leave you, he'll get someone else to do it for him. He wouldn't ever let you willingly put yourself in danger, and if you ever were in danger, the people responsible for it would pay dearly.

I have a lot of thoughts on this but my brain isn't working with me right now. Thank you so much for sending this in! I really loved this so much.

[skrunksthatwunk]

one kill la kill detail that's particularly dear to me that ive never seen anyone talk about is how blatant mako's crush on ryuko is from the get-go

like, mako doesn't really go out of her way to make friends. she's sometimes friendly with people, especially when she happens to be around them (i.e. maiko, gamagori, satsuki), but we don't really see her seek out friendship in the way she does with ryuko. they meet briefly before school, but ryuko doesn't even say a word to her. but then mako does stuff like immediately eagerly waving ryuko over in class, trying to tackle-hug her, declaring them besties because they're desk neighbors. do you think she and that guy ryuko replaced were bffs bc of this? or any of the other people mako has sat next to? no. and while one could argue that maybe she tried and failed with everyone but ryuko, her persistence when it comes to ryuko (which ryuko herself comments on and which is evident before ryuko really accepts her company (i.e. before she moves in with the mankanshokus)) doesn't seem to be present with anyone else. mako knows what it's like to be lonely, but she has no reason in particular to latch on to ryuko, other than, perhaps, that shes someone she hasn't tried yet. but she meets new people pretty often, and that doesn't lead to much interest on her end.

it seems more likely that something about ryuko caught her attention from the jump, likely how cool and pretty she is (something she talks about a LOT.) she talks (with her family) about how hot ryuko's body is, how good her old pajamas look on her, compares her tit size to satsuki's (which means she was either staring at both of theirs or that she simply feels that ryuko's are bigger, likely out of loyalty or respect for her (think big dick energy)), etc etc etc. like she's always fawning over her and cheering her on and showing her off as her "bestest friend" to mikisugi and aghhhghdfhgdjdjdh she's so gay man. what the fcuk

this isn't really present throughout the series, but she's often seen blushing or sprouting nose bleeds or ogling ryuko in early episodes. like any time there's a WOAH!!! HOTTIE BOOBA NAKED crowd reaction shot there'll often be a little mako alongside the horny guys blushing or peeking between her fingers or whatever like. she checks her out

she also is immediately very welcoming and supportive of ryuko. she tells her family to leave her alone when she's talking to senketsu and that it's not that weird, defends her in the fight club episode, literally invites her to uhaul on day one (classic lesbian maneuver) like. and she's also always talking about how close ryuko and senketsu are, that ryuko and senketsu are closer to each other than anyone else, that, while she's in ryuko's corner, she never really asserts herself as ryuko's best friend, even though she's very clear that ryuko is her best friend. she thinks she comes second. she's a very good sport about it, but something about that natural assumption that she's not her #1 is a little sad to me, though maybe she's just giving ryuko space and understanding in a very generous way. again, she's very supportive. like she's always doing what she can to cheer ryuko up or help her along, like bringing her lunches and standing up for her when the students of honouji bend the rules in their favor (like in the tennis episode). she's very "ily!!!! no pressure. but you're great :D" and i love that for her (though occasionally when shit gets dire she'll put her foot down, especially as the series goes on, i.e. rebelling against satsuki, the wedding dress scene, insisting this and that about the ryuko she knows (esp right after the time skip)

she's also got her cuddly streak. about half of it's reserved for hallelujah moments but there's also the scooter ride and her calling back monster-ryuko and the post-recovery nuzzling (i love that scene ehehhehdhdhshdgcvzkzh) and the epilogue moments and her GLOMPS

anyway my point is she loves ryuko and she does from the jump and she's great and i love her and ryuko loves her too but that's a separate post and yeah!!!!! girlfriends <3

[ddollfface]

𝐀 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲

𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙞 𝙊𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙝𝙞 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

Warnings; bad writing, might be ooc (don't come at me lol), not proofread, obsessional behavior, idk if this is really Yandere tbh, honestly, this is just be dipping my toes into fanfiction... If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ I've only watched the tv shows, so all of my information comes from that and the wiki. If anyone knows where to read the manga, then please message me! Also, this is inspired by @mothwingwritings and @yandere-writer-momo ♡

Throughout the series, Katsumi is shown to be loyal to those he deems close and important to him. One of these people is Karate (I suppose, it's a thing, but whatever). Even when faced with people he respects, like Retsu, he refuses to give it up, to deny the power it has. This is shown during the tournament saga where Retsu demands that Katsumi admit that Chinese Kenpō is superior to Karate, of course, he denies it.

Now, what does this say about Katsumi? Well, it shows that when he feels loyalty towards someone/something, he'll cling to it and fight for it until his last breath. Katsumi is strong-willed, and never gives in without a fight; he fights for others' honor. He's been shown to have a vengeance streak, where he'll seek out those he's deemed to have defamed the people he holds dear to him.

He's very smooth with his words and has a boyish charm to him, allowing you to drop your guard when you really shouldn't. His sheepish smile and constant cocky appeal cause you to feel relaxed and underestimate him, forgetting that he's a dangerous man who could snap you in half with his pinky. It's really too easy for him to find where you live, sneak into your apartment, and watch you. All without you noticing; how sweet of you. You don't even realize that Katsumi has grown so attached, not noticing how close he sticks to your side or how his eyes darken whenever you talk to Retsu or Katou (if he ever comes around).

I can imagine Katsumi with most types of darlings, but I think he'd lean towards darlings who are a Good Samaritan. How they show that empathetic behavior solely depends on their personality. You don't have to be energetic and bubbly to be a good person and to help others, instead, you can be quiet and timid. You can be a little colder, but as long as you're willing to step in and help others when they're in need, even if you might put yourself in danger, Katsumi will ultimately find you attractive and court you.

I think that the empathetic characteristic is the root of his attraction, seeing you be so kind and caring just makes his heart swell. He knows you're a good person, and that's what makes you so attractive. Well, you're appearance is also a key factor, but ignore that.

Katsumi just wants someone selfless and willing to put themselves on the line for others, no matter if they know the person or not, as he knows that they'd make a good partner, a good mama. That's ultimately Katsumi's goal in life: to have a family. I subscribe to the headcanon that Katsumi has a breeding kink and he loves children; I don't care what anybody says.

There's no doubt in my mind that he's a loverboy who just wants someone to love, but things go wrong when that love isn't recognized or reciprocated. Not only that, but Katsumi's love can be... overbearing, to say the least. He can get a little too excited, especially when he's around you. And that's when his boyish nature comes in. He becomes too aggressive with his courting tactics (this is similar to Ali Jr. and Baki, me thinks).

These three guys, especially Katsumi, have been shown to be a little blinded by arrogance and their youth (not saying that other characters, who are older, haven't). They're all in their early twenties, and Katsumi being twenty in the Pickle saga, meaning they don't have a lot of experience with women.

Now that we're on the topic of experience, I think that Katsumi has been on dates with women, talked to women, and flirted with women. I mean, look at him. He's attractive, both physically and emotionally, and he's in the prime of his life. Not only that, but he's the adoptive son of Doppo Orochi, though I doubt that matters to most girls, but whatever. This means that he's got money, a lot of it. Doppo's wealth has been reiterated throughout the series that Katsumi is a spoiled kid, and I see that point.

So there's no denying that girls are attracted to him, and I think Katsumi isn't afraid to go up to women; he's quite charismatic. But why doesn't he have a girl? I think that's partially because of his dedication to his martial arts, making it difficult to maintain a relationship, and most girls wouldn't stick around for that. Now, that factor wipes out half of his dating pool, making it difficult for him to have anything but a one-night stand or a few dates.

He can't help but long for someone deeper, long for someone who truly cares for him. Katsumi wants someone who needs him, and relies on him to be provided for, and cared for. He wants to be acknowledged for his hard work, how calloused his hands are, and how good of a leader he strives to be. He just wants someone who'd be his cheerleader, someone who'd support him the way he'd support them.

This drive and desperate need for someone causes him to act irrationally when he finally finds someone even close to his dreams. It doesn't matter where or when you meet, whether it's before or after he's lost his arm, as long as he feels that recognition, he's lovestruck.

(This is where I go off on a tangent, I'm so sorry)

I've read a book called Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell, and it's all about humans and how we think as a species. He goes on and on about this thing called thin slicing. Thin slicing is an ability that all humans have, something we've developed through years of evolution, and it's the ability to make a split-second decision (on a situation or person) based off of little information. According to Gladwell, we do this every day. Thin slicing is fueled by our fight or flight response, more so whether or not we fight, fight, or freeze.

Gladwell says that the moment we make eye contact with someone, or speak a singular word with someone, we've already decided whether or not we like them or not, whether or not we'll befriend them. In multiple studies, Gladwell cites, he says that you can determine whether or not a couple will have a long-lasting relationship just based off of one conversation, a conversation that's no more than a minute long.

It's all about subconscious cues we give off when we speak, much like the phrase 'actions speak louder than words.' Certain cues attract people to each other, unknowing actions that we do that pull others toward us.

Honestly, it's a really interesting thing, and I think that because a lot of Baki men rely on their instincts, and they use thin slicing in every one of their fights, they'll use their instincts to determine who their darlings are. If you were to ask any of the Baki men, in this hypothetical world where they have a darling, I think they wouldn't be able to answer. That they wouldn't know. And that's because it was an instinctual decision, something they knew subconsciously the moment they met you, you, you.

There was just something about you that drew them in, and they would be able to give a broad definition, but they wouldn't be able to tell specifics. And that's the beauty of attraction, so if you think about it, love at first sight is a real thing, yeah?

End of tangent

Because of this, he'll take any one of your interactions and dramatize them. You say that it's cold outside? Now, he thinks you're trying to hint to him that you want his jacket (you don't; you were making small talk). You say that you think his hair looks nice today? Welp, that means you must want to play with his hair, right (Natsue just told you he got a haircut). Hell, your shoulders brush against each other while you two are walking? You're practically telling him that you want a hug! (No, you just were too close to the street).

The point is that any normal reaction or conversation is used to fuel his obsession with you. Within a few weeks of knowing each other, he's thinking that you're going to be the mama of his children. There's no doubt in his mind that you're meant to be. Katsumi will even look at your zodiacs. Did you know that you two are compatible? What a coincidence. It must be fate.

[bg-brainrot]

Alone in a Crowded Camp

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Summary: A short Astarion reflection, where he realizes that company isn't so bad.

Tags: Astarion POV, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, Vampire Spawn Astarion, set in Act 3, Astarion is Bad at Feelings

A/N: My ~mood~ persists and I wanted to make this real angsty, but even I couldn’t do that to myself hah. A short little oneshot to try to get me out of my funk!

Word count: ~1.1k

Alone.

Astarion has gotten quite good at being alone.

For two hundred years, he's been surrounded by people– their faces, their bodies, their sickly sweet words and insincere affections. But all along, he has been deeply, achingly alone.

He's had his siblings, ugh, if that's what you could call them. They’ve been a constant, annoying, and at times cruel presence in his life. They’ve felt like a growth he could no more remove than he could ignore. And, through the misery and the pain, he somehow still managed to feel gods awfully alone.

It’s difficult to pinpoint the source of his loneliness. After all, he has nary a moment to himself. But no matter how many people, no matter how frequently he’s with them, something is missing. There is no connection, no kindness, no caring. He simply is alone.

As such, Astarion has grown downright skilled at solitude. A practical art form, he's certain– someone else may call it a method of coping. Either way, it’s not a skill he's comfortable to admit.

Especially not when he suddenly finds himself surrounded once more, veritably drowning in the same disgusting familiarity and the startling newness of companionship. Because this time, he's free. Or as free of Cazador as he's willing to believe for the moment. And his companions don't expect much from him. At least not more than he's willing to provide.

So when he settles into the motley crew, he’s prepared to face the same discordant discomfort of isolation, all while being a hair’s breadth from falling into someone’s bedroll.

Instead, what he finds is an unconventional, at times chaotic, symphony.

The loud sheering sound of weapons being sharpened.

The heat of bodies surrounding a late night campfire.

The beautiful, desperate joy on the faces of those who may not live to see another day.

Astarion soon discovers that, despite the dirt, despite the tentacled doom lingering over his gorgeous head of curls, the boisterous mundanity of daily life is oddly… welcome.

For so long, as long as he can remember honestly, he’d dreaded meeting someone new. Meeting someone new meant as much a death sentence for them as it meant a detestable evening for him, a night lost to his inevitable withdrawal into the deepest darkness he could muster. 

But here, in the warm glow of firelight, the darkness abates. 

Against all of his efforts, he actually learns about the group.

How Lae’zel single-handedly took on her entire crèche while training, how many rooms Gale’s tower boasts back in Waterdeep, how far Wyll’s travels have taken him along the Chionthar, how Shadowheart didn’t need her memories to remember she hated bad wine, how Karlach once defeated a Pit Fiend in the hells themselves. None of them are things he expected to learn, nor care about. But he finds himself listening, chortling along all the same.

And then there’s you.

At first, he’d kept you a careful arm and knife distance away– an asset surely, but just as surely a dangerous one. He’d learned early in his time with Cazador that anyone who could wield both blade and charm was not someone to be trifled with.

What he hadn’t expected was the way that you made him feel: Distinctly not-alone.

Whether it be catching the mischievous twinkle in your eye from across the room or finding himself wrapped in your arms, feeling your body heat slowly seeping into him– he simply can’t understand how you make the world feel so full.

Astarion isn’t sure if he loves this new feeling of overwhelming closeness or misses the solitude. He wonders if he’ll ever feel alone again, and the idea that he may not both thrills and terrifies him.

Because there is something soothing about being alone, a type of insidious succor only his own thoughts provide.

The ache loneliness has carved in his chest is as lingering as it is deeply rooted within him and, like a plant desperately trying to survive, he finds the roots digging deeper and deeper in an attempt to stay grounded.

His moments of actual time to himself have been scarce, of course. So, in his fear, Astarion has gotten used to finding his solitude among the chaos, sequestering himself away from any who might hurt him before such a chance could arise.

Retreating from their kindness, reciprocating with sharply worded barbs, shooting utterly underserved glares in every direction. Their wounded looks mean nothing to him– why should they? They are just another group of strangers, one vampire lord away from becoming another pile of corpses.

However, much like every other of his carefully thought out plans, you are ready to thwart him. For every attempt he makes to withdraw, you’re right there, proving time and again that you are no stranger. Not anymore.

“Astarion.”

It’s a simple thing, his name. The last remnant from a mother he no longer remembers. It sounded wretched upon Cazador’s lips, a curse he could never break. Upon yours though? It may as well be a blessing. 

With that one, simple name, his loneliness is allayed. The roots embedded within him pull back, if only for the moment.

Despite his best efforts, he remembers that he is not alone. Astarion feels at ease.

His heart opens, little by little, and not just to you.

Living hundreds of years as he has, faces had begun to meld together, names began to lose their meaning, voices their distinct candor. But for the first time in a long, long time, he finds himself seeing, listening, connecting to others in a way he no longer believed himself capable of.

It’s… nice. Not that he’ll ever tell the others.

Naturally, his past doesn’t simply up and vanish. His mind still drifts, and he finds himself retreating into the damning safety of solitude from time to time. But each and every time, a hand reaches out– at times jovial, sometimes tentative, other times caring– ready to pull him back to the present.

“Astarion?”

One such hand comes into his field of view, and he takes it instinctively. It’s warm, comforting, and scarred with the beautiful history of an adventurous past. He could get lost in the look and feel of this hand.

“Astarion? Are you alright?”

Your voice is soft, tone gently questioning– yet still worried. Adorable, but you needn’t worry about him. He doubts he’s ever been better.

“Mmm, yes, darling. Quite alright.”

“Good.” 

Your hand squeezes his as you respond and he’s certain that, as long as you’re next to him, he may never feel alone again. Perhaps that’s not such a bad thing after all.

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! Absolutely love your work, especially Haunting of Hill House and Fall of the House of Usher. I was wondering a couple things:

Any chance we will ever get to see that deleted scene where Carla plays a homeless woman singing to Madeleine? Loved the Easter egg and also can’t get enough of Verna so it would be so cool to see that deleted scene!

Also wanted to know what it was like working with Mary? It was such a joy to see her in House of Usher!! Hoping to see her in future Flanaverse projects!!

Hi there! That material was removed very early in the editing process, long before the scene was completed, so there isn't a finished "scene" to show. Carla and Mary did fine work acting in those moments, but the series as a whole is stronger without it, so a completed version of the scene with that footage simply never existed. It's an odd alchemy when you tell a story this way, and sometimes scenes that seem to work on the page can be acted beautifully, shot exquisitely, and still not be necessary or additive. In this case, it actually worked against the mysteries of the show, it wasn't believable that Madeline wouldn't recognize Verna, and it was clear that this was a mistake. It was my mistake for writing the scene the way I did, and it happens all the time. We could tell immediately that it didn't fit, so we didn't waste much time proving it out. Releasing deleted scenes is a tricky thing. I love bonus features - it's one of the great benefits of physical media - but even if we had a huge special edition box set of Usher, I don't know that we would have included this scene. Sometimes these things just aren't meant for the audience, even as an interesting relic, and this is one of those times. Incidentally, I had the same feeling about some of the material that didn't make it into the Bly Manor edit. We knew the scenes weren't working very early in the process, so they were never refined into any shape that would warrant their release. Fans will hear an actor talk about scenes they worked on, and the fans get all excited, but if they were to see those scenes it wouldn't enhance their love of the characters or the story... in fact, it can work against it. For years, I've had Bly fans reach out lamenting that they can't see some of the Bly material they've read about in cast interviews, but I'm certain that seeing it in its raw, unfinished state wouldn't enhance or deepen their love of the characters or the show. There's really nothing to release. It's just excess material that lands on the floor while you're sculpting, and sticking it back onto the sculpture only makes a noticeable wart. Other times, though, deleted scenes can be incredibly additive. For example, I think the 30 minutes we took out of the theatrical release of Doctor Sleep only enhanced the movie, and made the experience that much more rich - which was why I was so happy to release the Director's Cut with those scenes restored. Those scenes, though, were fully finished, and only removed in the first place because of the movie's run-time. Restoring those elements made the sculpture complete - they were always supposed to be there. But most times, deleted material is just unnecessary material. It can be like having an amazing meal prepared for you, and then being handed a plate of surplus or unused ingredients. Like, the chef needed to peel a lemon before squeezing it over the meal as a wonderful finishing touch. That dash of citrus really made the meal sing. But that doesn't mean you want to eat the peel. And I LOVE working with Mary. I'm sure we'll do it again!

[cactus-cuddler]

Chapter 4: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐫?

Series' masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

Word count: 2 k

Summary: finally your date with Bucky!

Warnings: no one I think

Tag list: @robynanthonystark @mcira @sofiaavarga13 @julvrs

(if you want to be added write to me)

ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ <3

It's Saturday, the day of your date with Bucky. The night before, after he brought you home, you didn't sleep a wink. Thoughts about how to dress and what you will do kept filling your mind. Now it's early in the morning, and you're drinking a cup of coffee to wake you up. You need some female help, so you call Megan to assist you; you haven't dated anyone in too long, and you want to be perfect for him.

Megan barges into your house with her bag full of makeup, ready to give you advice on men, and you can't help but feel grateful. She searches your entire closet, looking for a cute dress, but the only one she thinks is decent is a short, fitted dress. No, you wouldn't wear that dress. Megan looks at you in disbelief; she thinks you look hot dressed like that, but that's not what you want.

"He sees me dressed provocatively every day. For once, I want him to see me simply as I am," you confess with a shy smile. The fear that he approached you just for your body scares you. Megan understands and recommends a simple dress with a delicate elegance. You find it perfect. Your body isn't on display too much, but it still shows off how gorgeous you are. That dress takes attention away from your gorgeous body and highlights your beautiful face. Bucky will appreciate it without a doubt. Especially because he loves your face, your smile, and how your eyes shine when you see him. He would like your face to always be focused on him.

She helps you put on your makeup and fix your hair, then leaves you alone, telling you she has an important and urgent commitment.

“If things go wrong, call me and I'll bring you your favorite ice cream, and we'll watch one of those super romantic movies, so romantic they make you throw up rainbows, and we'll think of some plan to make him regret it. Is that okay?" You giggle at her proposal and, after thanking her, you give her a warm hug before letting her go. Even though you've known each other for less than a year, she's the kind of person you've always needed. When your doorbell rings, you are anxious and almost on the verge of pretending to be dead. 'If the date goes badly, how could I look at his face again? ' you think as you approach the door.

Bucky didn't sleep a wink thinking about your date either. He's afraid that as you get to know him better, you'll understand there's a monster inside him. But seeing how happy you were when he asked you on a date, he certainly couldn't disappoint you. He would never forgive himself. As he approached your door, he was almost unsure whether to knock or not and was almost on the verge of walking away and disappearing forever. He hasn't had a date in years! He takes courage and rings your doorbell, and when he sees you in that dress, he is transfixed by your beauty. Seeing you in a tight uniform every day can't compare to seeing you dressed like that. He's not bad either; for the occasion, he dressed elegantly just for you. He has elegant trousers tightened with a black belt and a narrow white shirt. It's not cold enough to put his jacket on, and he doesn't like ties, at least not anymore. You hold your breath seeing him look so cool, and you almost feel guilty for admiring so much beauty all at once. You spend a good minute looking at each other, and Bucky breaks the silence.

"You're beautiful," he says in a small, hoarse, and sensual voice, handing you a red rose.

"You too," you reply awkwardly. He bows to you and asks for your hand. You take it, giggling.

You discover that he didn't organize anything in particular; he just wanted to spend time in your company without your clients hovering around you. Going to a bar was out of the question, but you discover there's a festival just a few meters from your house. You walk there, and your hands touch but you don't hold them. You're too embarrassed to do it. As you walk, you talk calmly and laugh together. Being with him fills your stomach with butterflies and makes you feel like a little girl. He seems so interested in you and does everything to make you laugh so he can see your beautiful lips curl up.

Before arriving at the festival, you make a few intermediate stops. First, at a booth where they take Polaroid photos so you can have a memory. You take three photos: one funny, one cute, and one "serious." Only he looks serious; you burst into a loud laugh.

“Look how cute you are in this photo!" he tells you, pointing his finger at one of your photos together, and you blush: "It's not fair! You're beautiful in all of them," you complain, and he chuckles. "It's the charm of mystery," he replies, and you nod in agreement.

Afterwards, you stop at a supermarket. Eating at the festival was out of the question; other things besides cotton candy cost too much, so you decide to buy some sandwiches to eat during the remaining journey.

“I consider myself a gallant man, but spending half my salary to make you eat rubbish, I'll save it to give you a nice gift in the future," he tells you, biting into his sandwich. "Then these are better!" he exclaims. It seems like he's never eaten anything better in his life.

"I could have offered,"

"I wouldn't let you; I invited you, so it's on me,"

"What if I had invited you?"

"I would offer anyway,"

"Because you're a man?"

"No, because you forgot your bag at home." Only now do you realize that you didn't bring your bag with you; you spent half an hour choosing the perfect one and then forgot it! As soon as he realizes that you've just noticed, he bursts into loud laughter, and you punch his metal arm to make him stop.

Your lips get dirty with sauce, and he wipes it off with the pad of his thumb, then licks it off his finger.

“Good,” he whispers, and you blush. 'We just indirectly kissed,' you think, feeling your cheeks on fire, and you stop composing any meaningful sentences.

“Did I mention I love it when you react like that?” he asks in a whisper, and a similar memory lights up in your mind.

"How?" you ask, still in a trance.

"When, after a gesture from me, you stop thinking and moving, you stay with your beautiful mouth open in a small and adorable 'o' and look at me as... as if I were someone who deserves your attention," he replies, and you are surprised by his observation skills. You blush and take his hand. He looks at you surprised and smiles at your gesture, holding your hand tightly as you walk, swinging your arms together like two children.

Once you arrive, Bucky immediately offers you cotton candy. There are countless colored lights and many rides full of children and adults. Everywhere you turn, there are groups of people talking and paying no attention to you. There's 80s music playing very loudly, so you have to scream to hear each other. You notice that Bucky doesn't feel comfortable with all these people, so you squeeze his hand tighter and look him straight in the eyes to spread courage. Together, you look at the rides, searching for one to have fun together. Some are scary to you, some are scary to Bucky, but he wouldn't admit it until you both decide to ride the Ferris wheel. Seeing the sunset from above would be magical. You line up, and when it's your turn, a man stops you.

“You…” he begins, pointing at Bucky. You don't understand what he might want from him, so you cling to his arm to comfort him. Bucky is agitated. His look doesn't show it, but he is absolutely agitated.

"You are the Winter Soldier!" the man exclaims, and Bucky's fears all come out. The man looks at him fearfully, and you don't understand what he means. The Winter Soldier is just an urban legend to you; how can anyone believe he exists? You also don't think Bucky is capable of killing. Bucky looks at you and notices your confusion as rumors that the Winter Soldier is right there spread among those present.

"Y/N, I have to go. Sorry," Bucky tells you. Breaking away from your hold, he walks away and leaves you there, alone and confused. Is the man you love really the legendary Winter Soldier?

Once you get home, you fall into bed. You're sad; everything was going so well with Bucky before he was forced to leave. You can't believe he's a monster. You don't want to believe it. He is a good man; inside, you know he is sweet and needs someone to stay by his side and not let him get hurt. However, you start to connect all the pieces. Is this why he is so mysterious? You need to talk to him, but you don't know how. You've never exchanged phone numbers and have never seen him with a cell phone, so it never occurred to you to ask him. All you have to do is wait for Monday, when you go back to work.

You hear the doorbell ring, and as soon as you see Megan with two jars of ice cream and a bag containing some DVDs with her favorite films, you can't help but hug her. You told her that Bucky had to leave without telling her why, and she assumed he was just an asshole.

"You don't know much about the Winter Soldier, do you? And I'm sure the others don't know more than you either," she tells you, and you nod.

Megan tells you what HYDRA did to Bucky and how they manipulated his mind to make him a ruthless killer. You listen to her while eating large spoonfuls of your ice cream. She tells you that there is a lot of information online about the "Winter Soldier," and she, being very curious, read all the articles she found and discovered his tragic story. 'If all this information is public knowledge, why hasn't anyone defended Bucky?' you think. You wish Bucky had told you, but you recognize that it really is a huge burden. A burden too great for one person alone.

“I have to go see him,” you tell Megan, standing up mid-movie.

"Don't be reckless; how do you think you'll find him? You don't have a number or a home address," your friend scolds you, but you're not going to give up so easily. You grab your phone and call your employer. Bucky works there; he must have definitely given some of his data to that man. Even though dinner time has passed a few hours ago, he replies to you.

"I'm sorry, but I can't give you the data you ask for; it would be a violation of privacy," and here you put your plan into action.

"It's urgent! I'm pregnant with him, and I need to tell him right away! I can't wait until Monday, please." Megan looks at you and giggles as you send her a wink.

"Oh God, congratulations! If you put it on this level..." you knew that your employer could not let these things slide, and in order not to stop the love of two young people, he would be willing to break some small privacy law. You write down Bucky's number and home address in a notebook, and before hanging up the call, you thank your employer from the bottom of your heart.

“Now you really have to get knocked up,” Megan teases as you put your cardigan on over your pajamas. No time to change!

"Stay as long as you want; make yourself at home," you reply and close the door behind you.

Thanks for reading! If there is something you want to tell me about it feel free to tell me. I would also like what you think and how you would like it to continue <3

I remember that if you want to be added to the tag list, just write to me or a comment here or in messages (it's also good as an excuse to talk, I love meeting new people knowing that we have common interests!♡)

I think the next chapter will be the last, I can't tell you now if I will make an epilogue or not but I want to write a one-shot where Sam forces Bucky to bring you flowers. Tell me if you would be interested!

Series' masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

[tyrantisterror]

Your recent train of posts about you-know-who’s book series got me thinking. You once said “The Owl House works as a sort of rebuttal to Harry Potter in a lot of ways”, care to elaborate on that statement? Especially in regards to how The Owl House’s worldbuilding and themes clash with Harry Potter’s?

Oh man... I don't want my blog to be consumed by Harry Potter Hot Takes. I'd prefer to vent most of those feelings through my wizard books instead, it's more productive that way.

So, ok, short version: The Owl House is about a teenager from the mundane world discovering there's a magical world hidden away, goes there to learn magic, and in the process uncovers a plot by an abominable fascist to commit genocide. In very simplistic terms, that is more or less the same plot as Harry Potter.

But the devil's in the details, isn't it? Luz doesn't have any grand inheritance to claim, no prophecy to fulfill, nothing that makes her the most special specialest special person of all time. There's even a whole episode early on where a villain tries to lure her to her doom by claiming she's the chosen one, and the lesson is that NO ONE is "chosen" for greatness - greatness is something you make yourself, not something that's thrust upon you. She is not inherently gifted as a witch - in fact, she struggles harder because she doesn't have a a special bladder true witches are born with, and has to learn an ancient and forgotten method of spellcasting basically from scratch to cast spells at all. She is, emphatically and at times definitely deliberately, the opposite of what Harry Potter is.

So is her academic experience. There's a magic school in this setting, and (at first) it wants nothing to do with Luz because she's human, not a witch, and thus is believed to be incapable of casting spells. So Luz's primary mode of education on magic comes from a private mentor, Eda, who is also a wanted criminal and social outcast because of her disdain for the draconian rules of their society. Eda is an unconventional but magnificent mentor, one who is as willing to try new things and learn new methods as Luz herself, and who helps Luz discover ways to make possible what everyone else claims is impossible. Eventually Luz does convince the magic school to take her in, but in the process she changes how it runs, challenging a lot of its preconceived notions and forcing them to do better.

Which is vital, because the biggest problem facing the society of this magical world is narrow-minded reliance on outdated social categorization. Like HP, people are sorted into categories (covens here instead of houses), which they are then forced to stick to and never dabble in the others. It is explicitly compared to both the concept of tracking in real world education (i.e. forcing kids into a career path early and ONLY giving them education relevant to that one career) and the house system of HP:

And it's wrong. It's both presented as needlessly limiting, terrible for encouraging advancement and growth of both the students and society as a whole, and an immoral system that's only kept alive by the "Well, this is how we've always done it" inertia that keeps so many awful traditions in education alive. And I really do mean it's immoral, because it's the brain child and secretly crucial evil tool of a genocidal fascist.

I kind of cringe at writing those two words since I feel people have been WAY too quick to accuse cartoon villains from children's shows of fascism and genocide - like, Chairface Chippendale writing his name on the moon with a laser would probably kill a shitload of people in real life, but that doesn't mean he's an analogue to Hitler. But Belos, like fellow Disney villain Frollo, is clearly intended to be exactly that: a genocidal fascist. In a world full of magic-fueled absurdist black comedy beats, Emperor Belos stands out as a consistently serious threat, tonally dissonant with his surroundings in a way that makes him chillingly effective as a villain. And like real world powerful bigots, his power primarily comes from the fact that the systems of society favor his mindset over those of outsides like Luz and Eda - all the systems of oppression our heroes chafe against were either created by or worsened by him, with the express purpose of using them to kill everyone and everything in the magical world.

Luz could not be more thematically opposed to her enemy, and the story is incredibly consistent in showing how defeating Belos alone isn't enough, but that the systems that empowered him have to be disproven and dismantled. His enablers must be destroyed or humbled, the prejudices he encouraged must be torn down and fought at every turn, and innovation and progress must be embraced for the good of all. There's so much stuff you could analyze about the themes in that show regarding oppression and the othering of people who are different, and it's all so, SO much more consistent than the discussion of the same themes you'll find in Harry Potter.

[harrysmimi]

After Show

Synopsis: Harry and YN finds some alone time after one of his shows to catch up

CW: Smut

Series Masterlist | More of my work

One thing YN was so grateful for were the opportunities she gets to travel now more freely.

It gave her a weird ich, even to think about going to a different country alone. Especially when her family doesn't really seem to care about her existence. She feared for her safety because apparently we still live in a world where no one, especially women can't walk alone.

So, when Harry offers to accompany her, she'd now learnt to taked up the offer. Of course only if she can afford the trip, as she doesn't like to rely on him for anything. She's also gotten more confident traveling alone. She'd learnt to get out of her comfort zone and actually talk to people other than just asking for their coffee orders and serve them.

That also gave her a sense of acceptance about herself as she found people who went through, or are going through similar life situations as hers. Yeah, she loves her friends, Alec and Brielle, she would never trade them for anyone else. But it's nice to make mew acquaintances.

Today, she was going to see Harry after a long time. She had unfortunately missed his birthday this year as her family was nice enough to drag her along with them to their relatives' wedding. It was two week affair. And she hadn't seen him since the after new year's.

She saw him at his concert venue directly, with her luggage bag in hand. He had just gotten off doing the soundcheck. He was surprised because he was supposed to meet her back at his (their!) hotel room, her flight was supposed to be delayed which didn't happened and she got to see him early. Least to say he attacked with a bear hug, as she ran towards him and with her limbs wrapped around him.

"I missed you so much!" She mumbled, her face resting in the gap between his neck and her arm.

"I missed you so much too baby!" He scoffed happily, holding onto her tightly so she doesn't fall straight on her butt. She wouldn't let go. Honestly, he doesn't want her to either. "You good?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, and jumped back on her own two feet. Her arms slipped to wrap around his torso as she looked up at him. "Better now. With you."

"Oh my god, you need to stop flirting with me. I'm engaged for god's sake!" He rolled his eyes jokingly.

"I miss you too much when you're gone!" She snuggle her face into fabric of his hoodie. Harry sighed, slipping his fingers through her hair he massaged her scalp gently.

"I miss you too baby." He whispered, "just a month and we'll be getting and off to our honeymoon, then I'm all yours! For now let's go to my green room." He dragged her and her luggage along with him back stage to his green room. "want a cuppa baby?"

"Sure!" She nodded and looked around his room. The sofa was different but the pillows were same, his humidifier, clothes box, his own suit case with regular clothes. It was felt like him and it felt like home to her. "It's cold here, isn't it?"

"Yeah, a little. The AC's on." He said, "don't feel it while I'm performing though."

"Thank you!" She took the cup of tea he gave her and sat next to her.

"How was your flight?" He asked, his hand rested on her thigh as he scooted closer to her.

"It was fine." YN nodded. "I have to tell you something though!" She placed the hot cup of tea to the side.

"What is it, baby?"

"You remember we talked about trying for a baby, right?" She started off, "well, ummm... I talked to my gynaecologist and my physician, I can get off birth control and we can see from there. They have to change up few of my medications like the painkillers I take for my arthritis and start with prenatal vitamins."

"You sure that's fine with you, baby?" He asked, "changing up the medications and all? I know they'll have to cut off a few things which help you, I don't want you in pain all throughout that time. Being pregnant is hard as it is."

"I don't know." She shrugged, "I have never been pregnant before. But we can see."

"Only if you're so sure about it." He sighed not knowing what to say further, "or we have other options we can opt for always."

"Okay..."

"Don't be upset, love!" He sighed, "I said we have other options only if it doesn't work put of us, okay? I just want to make sure you're fine."

"I am." She assured him.

"Okay." He smiled and placed a tender kiss on her cheek, holding her close to him, "would you like to practice baby making after the show then?"

"I would love to!" She chuckled, giving him a kiss on his mouth. Harry pulled her in before she could try to retrieve, buttoning his mouth back on hers. His hand wandered down to her hips back up inside her shirt rather quickly. "Harry, not here please." She managed to speak up, "anyone can walk in on us."

"Yeah, I'm sorry." He sighed, "just missed you so much!"

"I missed you too." She cooed.

They both cuddled for next two hours till he had to get ready for the show, having a nice baby talk. YN fell asleep there.

"Hey baby, do you wanna wake up?" He gave her arm a soft squeeze.

"Hmm?" YN wome up confused.

"Do you want to wake up? I'm about to go on stage in a bit." He shared.

"How long did I sleep for?" She sighed feeling groggy from being woken up from deep sleep.

"A couple of hours."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She sat up, "and yes I'm up now. Want to see you perform."

"Yeah?" He smiled, "well, I have twenty minutes if you want to change to freshen up or something?"

"Yeah, I need to pee. Where is the toilet?"

"The left door." Be pointed behind him. "Wait!" He pulled her back to steal a quick kiss. "Chop-chop baby love." He smack her bum but recieved one right after. "Ouch!"

"Yeah, ouch!" She yawned walking to the bathroom.

......................................................................

"Last kiss and I'll be out!" Harry promised as he stole another kiss from his missus.

"Harry, stop hogging your missus you need to be on the stage, now!" Tom yelled at him.

"Yes!" Harry yelled back. "Stay safe, okay?"

"I will." She nodded, "go break a bone!"

He felt another smack on his butt. "You're gonna pay for it." He challenged her before he was ready to run out.

"Sure." She rolled her eyes and made her way to the little VIP area by the stage where a few of Harry's industry friends were going to be.

YN's not had a good time with Harry's industry friends except the rest of 1D boys and his immediate work friends like, Jeffery and his wife, Tom, Tyler and the Love Band, well in short his immediate circle of friends. She still had a good amount of amazing people to hang out with whilst her soon-to-be husband worked.

Harry came up on the stage, YN was stood at the side back stage where she can watch him perform. He's like a toddler running around the stage, stumbling and even falling sometimes. Throughout he kept looking at her and smiling.

He's indeed very happy today, especially now his soon-to-be wife is by his side.

He was so happy that he still had the adrenaline pumping through his body when they got back to their room hotel.

"Ow!" YN gasped when he pinned her to the wall, one shoe off as she was stopped by him. He smeared his lips over hers, gathering her hands behind her back. She knew exactly where this was going to go and she didn't mind at all.

It reminded her of their first time. Similar situation, he had just gotten home from a heavy workout session all sweaty. Leading her to his bedroom upstairs, leaving her on the bed for a moment before he went and washed his hands. He debunked that thing for her which she always watched in the movies. And he gave her a head. That's all they did that night. And oh boy did she enjoyed every milliseconds of it, and still remember. YN shocked herself with how comfortable she is with him now versus she was the first time around.

He took off his jacket and threw it on the floor as he picked her up with his hands on her bum. He made his way to the bed, placed her carefully on the mattress as he managed to fit between her thighs. He broke the kiss to give her a breather.

"I missed you so much!" He mumbled leaving a chaste of sloppy wet kissed down her jawline to her neck. A moan slipped through her mouth when she felt his hand on her breast. He lifted his head up to press another kiss on her mouth. "Is it alright if go down on you?"

"Wait..." She stopped him, "haven't shaved down there."

He looked at her in disbelief, "does it look like I care, baby!" It wasn't a question though, "still okay?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, feeling a shiver run down her spine. She missed him as well, in every way. But this not their usual thing after being away for months. They usually get a take out, watch TV or just catch up because Harry always tired and jet lagged. Even though he's a horny animal, she's suggest against his needs and make him rest first.

Her man doesn't like to rest.

With one last kiss on her mouth he got to unbuttoning her jeans and taking them off with her knickers. She layed there vulnerable, visibility wet and dripping. Before she could get another moment to get awkward his mouth was on her clit. As much as he loves to make her come with just his mouth, she loves that too.

Feeling his warm tongue move against her already sensitive and swollen bud of nerves, how his fingers occasionally slip inside of her wet hole. Making her squirm under him. Just to replace his digits with his tongue. He's a skill full man.

"Oh, I'm so close!" She muttered with her voice now becoming more breathy and heavy. It's been what feel like an eternity but mostly because they've been away for so long from one another. The feel of his warmth tongue and his digits now pumping inside of her was pushing her just closer to the edge of her orgasm.

"You gonna come for me, baby?" He asked before he gave her clit another hard suck all the while pumping his fingers in ger pussy, "come for me, yeah?" It wasn't long until she was reaching her orgasm. "Was that good?"

"Amazing!" She chuckled, his weight on top of her as he kissed her cheek moving to her neck. "It tickles."

"I love you."

"And I love you more."

"Not a chance!" He scoffed jokingly, "I love you more. And I am sweaty."

"I don't care, I've missed you!" With her arms around his neck it was enough of a que for him to kiss her again.

"Wanna hop in the shower with me then, baby?" He suggested, finally giving her a moment to breathe.

"Mhmm." She nodded. He briefly crouched to take her off her shoe which he barely gave her a moment to take off herself. Slipped off his shoes as he guided her to the bathroom.

"Is that my hoodie?" He realised-- rather late-- she was wearing his black hoodie with 'DAMN.' written on it as he washed up his hands.

"Our hoodie you mean? Yes." She admitted.

"Cheeky!" Harry chuckled, "c'mere." He placed his hands on her hips he propped her up on the wash besin counter. "Want this off?"

"Yes please." She nodded. Despite him being careful, the fabric got caught in her necklace. "Whoops!"

"It's alright." He fixed it quickly as she sat there giggling. It was like the very first time, how her shirt caught up on her earring and she apologised for laughing at that silly thing. "Remember how flustered you were the first time?" He pressed a kiss on her cheek and chin with his arms wrapped around her naked torso.

"Still embarrassed about tha--" her body shuddered feeling his fingertips run feathery strokes on her spine, wetness in between her legs growing once again.

"Still find it to be the most adorable thing." He moved down to her to her neck, leaving a trail of feathery kisses on her warm skin, finally he looked up to place firm kiss on her mouth, "it makes everything feel so much more better. Remember how I got a cramp in my leg the other day?"

"Yeah, you were screaming in a high pitched voice." She giggled.

"Well, I'm not embarrassed about that because it was my fault I didn't drink enough water that day." He explained, "we can have a little laugh you know." With that be picked her up and walked in the shower to place her back on her feet carefully. He took a moment to shed his pants and boxers, the evident kind of hard on of his was now on a full show.

"Harry it's too cold!" She gasped feeling the water fall over her body.

"If I up the temperature, we're going to be boiled by the end." He pointed out.

"It's not that hot!" She argued, and turned rhe heat up just a tiny bit. "Please?"

"It's summer!" He groaned in defeat. She still kept on her cheeky puppy face to convince him as be buttoned her mouth on his standing on her tippy toes. "You're lucky I love you."

"The luckiest one." Her hand slowly crept downwards over his chest and pecks.

"Cheeky!" He kissed her her again. He still enough of her, he hopes it stays that way. Just as he was about to say something, he felt her warm hand wrapped his hardene penis. "Fuck, fuck!"

"Can we go now?" He asked, "just missed you so much!"

"Yes!" She nodded, as she did his hand was behind her knee lifting her leg up at the same time pushing her against the shower wall. Slowly slipping in through her folds. Just heavy breathing to be heard, especially from Harry. Low grunk and cussing in his voice which only grew deeper.

Air in her lungs gor sucked out when he started moving. His hard and deep thrusts making a new rhythm, making her wrap her arms around him for support.

"God I missed you so much!" His forehead rested on her, "so warm for me." It wasn't enough, he slip out, turned her around to slip right back in her. He picked up his pace, making her orgasm right again.

Least to say, they spent about half an hour there.

......................................................................

"Can we order Pizza?" YN asked, as she tied her bathrobe tie around her waist. Harry had already placed her back on the counter.

"Of course baby, which one do you want?" He was already walking out to grab the hotel phone.

"A small cheese one, thank you." He ordered for the pizza and went back to her, "wanna help you with that." He stopped her as she was about do the last few steps of her skin care. Well, it was just four steps, step was done in the shower. Last two were serum and moisturising.

Harry loves to pamper her.

"Here lemme do that too!" She pulled her Fiancé back towards her caging him in between her legs.

YN placed a few dots on the moisturiser on his cheeks, his forehead, his chin and lastly on his nose for comedic purposes. She proceeded to work the product in his skin, his prominent stubble was poked the skin of her palms. He looked like a little kitten being petted, as she ran her thumbs on the apples of his cheeks.

"Done!" She announced.

"Do you want to be little spoon?" He asked as he picked her up again with one on her back and other behind her knees.

"You know I'm never going to say no to that." She booped his nose, "and you got to let me walk, bestie."

"Just fucked the shit out of you and you're calling me bestie?" He cocked his eye brow up carefully placing her back on her feet just for her to cling back onto him. She tried her best to stand on her wobbly legs, but she was scooped right off her feet and carried to their shared bed.

"I loved it though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" She nodded. But they were interrupted by the room service.

"The pizza is here, your majesty!" He presented her the pizza in a grant way along with a bottle of water, though he took a sip of it first. "Asked them put extra cheese on it for you my love."

"Thank you!" She grinned.

Harry lied next to her on his spot over his tummy, dressed in his purple bathrobe. "So, about the baby?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we good now, or do we have to wait till to start trying?"

"Still need to get off birth control." She shared.

"Wait, doesn't that help you with your period?" He realised.

"Kind of, but I think I can go without those now, it's complicated. So these other medications for my arthritis made my period have rave parties every month, it should be good as I'd have to stop taking those meds and switch to something else." She explained, offering him a bite of her pizza which he accepted. "Do you want to go with me to the next appointment? It's after the tour is finished."

"Of course I'd love to go with you darling." He agreed, "and about the wedding. Did you find a dress yet?"

"No..." She pouted, "my grandma doesn't want me to get a white dress."

"Why so, isn't that the traditional colour?"

"Not in India." She smiled sheepishly, "well, everyone does whatever they want now-a-days but my grandma's a little old fashioned. And white is worn at funerals generally."

"Oh, it's so different everywhere then!" He never thought about it until now, "what colour do you want to get then?"

"I want a white, but ahe wants me to get a red one. She said 'You're not having your funeral, you're getting married', it pissed me off. Not like she's paying a single penny. Just not going to take her or my mum to the next appointment at this boutique Brielle found." She shared mocking her grandma's way of talking, giving him yet another bite of her pizza and he was eating it. "Like she's ever going to be invited to either of those."

"Hey, don't say that!" He gasped.

"Right, she won't live that long anyway."

"Oh god, you're a meanie." He gasped again, "big, big, big meanie!"

"Yeah? And that old wrinkly lady isn't?" She chuckled, "she was trying to find me a guy at my sister's. I was fourteen years old!"

"Touché."

"Yeah, and she did. A thirty-two year old man." She added. "Luckily my parents got minds of their own and stood up for me."

"What the fuck!"

"Yeah." She nodded. "He was rich actually, he owned a big finance and insurance company in Saudi."

"So he is rich, rich?" He was stunned.

"Yup, a turn of about eighty-five mil to one billion." She shared, "he died though, Cardiac arrest, five years ago."

"A big loss." He scrunched up his nose.

"Meh, I don't care." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and now you've a Fiancé who's a decent, indie singer." He nodded, "worth it."

"You are anything but Indie, darling." She laughed. "My wait was worth though, now I can be a trophy wife I want to." She leaned back over the fluffy pillow.

"Oh definitely wouldn't mind that." He agreed and scooted closer to sit next to her taking a yet another bite of the slice in her hand, maintaining a eye contact.

"What in the Italian Christian Grey!" She almost choked on the dough in the mouth.

"What's gotten into you today?" Harry laughed, he fetched water just in case. "Being so funny, did you get accidentally drunk?"

"That was sexy not gonna lie." She shared ignoring his remarks.

"Well," he blushed.

"Awh, look at you blushing, my shy baby!" She cooed leaning forward to kiss his cheek. Just just make him giggle again as he chewed on the fold.

Alas he pulled himself together and draped his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer to him. She was just too busy dipping the crust in the complimentary cheese dip.

"Where do you fancy going to for our honeymoon?" He asked. To be honest they planned anything of their honeymoon. Harry wants it to be special and somewhere she haven't been to before, which is a lot of places. He's just lucky he gets paid to travel and perform in diffe parts of the world.

"I don't quite know yet," she spoke with her mouth full of food, "is there anywhere you want to go?"

"I want to know where you want to go, baby." He pushed the baby hairs off her face, "just want to listen to you with this."

"Finally!" She gasped dramatically. Harry has taken almost everything about the wedding planning on himself. "Finally you admitted it!"

"Hey!"

"No, you've taken over everything. I don't know how you switched the plan of The Savoy hotel to your house in Italy!" She sighed dramatically. "The Gucci room isn't available on our wedding, is it?"

"It is, but figured it would be more private if we got married on our own property, baby." He explained, "everything we have, we share now."

"Okay." She nodded, "I don't know how long I'd be able to take on the break for. I guess we can go somewhere near England?"

"Doesn't matter baby, just tell me two of your dream vacation countries or cities and I'll take you there." He said, "and the owner of your cafe is my school friend, I can talk to him for you."

"What?" She almost chocked on cheese and dough, "he's your friend and you never told me that?"

"Well, I never got the chance to.' he shrugged sheepishly, "but I can still talk to him."

"I don't know, I love my job." She pouted. "I don't want him to fire me."

"He won't baby." Harry assured her, "now come on give me two names."

"We can either go to Puerto Rico or Greece?"

"Those are amazing options!" He never thought of those places, "and I've never been to countries. How about we go to both? We can spend a month in Puerto Rico and a month in Greece."

"That's a lot."

"No it's not." He countered, "I've been touring for two and half years, I deserve a long, long honeymoon and vacation with my wife by my side."

"What about our new house? We haven't even started looking for one." She reminded him.

Look, YN can either afford to pay at least some amount for the house or spend it all on their honeymoon plans. No way in heavens Harry's gonna make the trip cheap. He'll find his way to make it extravagant. She'd feel too bad if he's the only one paying for everything.

"We'll start looking for one as soon as we get back." He assured her, "and we have a lot more work to do, we have a baby to make!"

"Yes we do." She blushed. "But seriously, Harry, I don't think I can afford a trip that long."

"Baby!" He cooed, "it's a wedding present from me to you. And you're refusing for me to get you an actual present. So this is perfect."

"I'd feel too bad." She pouted, "you won't let me get you anything either."

"I'm sure you're not going to sit still until you get me anything, baby, so I'd say it's fair enough." He pointed out, "come on, please? Let me take you somewhere you've always wanted to go!"

"Okay, let's go to Greece but just for two weeks."

"Four?" He negotiated.

"Okay!" She sighed in defeat, there is no point in negotiating with his there. He's going to just tease her further. They sealed their deal with a kiss. "Oh god, why is this so stressful? We have to register for our marriage certificate."

"We'll have my lawyer do that for us, baby, don't worry about it." He assured her.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"I, uhhhh, want to take your last name." She shared hesitantly.

"You want to?" He looked rather shocked.

"Mhmm." She nodded, "you don't mind that right, you seem shocked?"

"Of course I don't baby. I just did not expect that, yes. But I'm happy either way." He shrugged. "You really want to do that?"

"Mhmm." She nodded snuggling closer to him.

They talked more about their wedding planning, and preparations until one of them was fast asleep. Well, it was YN fell asleep first.

......................................................................

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[the-kr8tor]

KATY AGAIN, CONGRATULATIONS, HONESTLY I FEEL LIKE A PROUD LITTLE SISTER 🥳🤭💕💕 , YOU'VE COME SO FAR, I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! I just wished I'd met you sooner, then I could call myself an og 💪 *sigh*

Feel free to ignore my rec if you have no inspiration, or there are other recs that need tending to 🥺

Can I get a ❣️ shaped bottle full to the brim of epsom salt and Baby's breath, please! - a short fluffy drabble consisting of the twins helping their father out during his day to day tasks on the ship

Thank you ml ❤️❤️ you're an honorary og in my heart 🩷

Pairing: Pirate! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 3k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw pregnancy talk, cw food mentions, dad! Hobie, mom! Reader, an au of my BDAS series, Billie and Ramona AU, Twins AU. Fluff!

Katy's one year celebration 🎉

“Wake up, guppies.” Hobie whispers, hands placed on Billie and Mona's shoulders, rocking them awake. It's easier when they prefer to sleep on the same bed even though they have their own right next to each other. He traces each of their noses, and they wiggle it in their half sleep state. “Thought you two wanted to help the captain today?”

Ramona is the first one to wake up, yawning, similar grey eyes cracking open. “Hi, dad.” She gives him a soft smile that Hobie reciprocates.

“Hello, guppy.” He gently rubs away sand from her sleepy eyes. “Good dream?”

“Yes, it was the mermaid dream again.” She whispers, ever so polite. “Bee and I were reading under the water while you and mum were making us hot chocolate.”

Hobie tilts his head with endearment. “How could you read underwater when the books would get wet?”

Her eyes shine, “mermaid magic.”

“I wouldn't have thought that, lovie.” She giggles, stretching on the mattress. Her hand smacks Billie to wake, groaning and frowning while she stirs.

Hobie senses an early tantrum. “G’morning, shark.”

She smiles at the ‘menacing’ nickname. Crisis averted. “Morning, daddy.” Turning towards Mona, she flicks her bicep. “You hit me.”

“Sorry, mon.”

Again, Hobie senses a fight. He's getting good at this. “What did you dream ‘bout, guppy?” He tucks away curls that have fallen in front of her face. That seemed to soften the twins away from fighting.

“I dreamed that grandad Miguel visited us on the ship and he was wearing a duck costume.”

“A duck costume?” Hobie and Mona ask at the same time.

Billie giggles with a shrug, “maybe he likes ducks.”

Hobie chuckles, too loudly. He quickly twists around to check on you. Thankfully, you still lay asleep, drooling on the pillow. Satisfied, he returns his attention towards his girls. “You two know the drill. Get dressed, brush your teeth—”

“And eat breakfast, then help the crew and captain dad.” They finish his sentence for him with a grin, twin telepathy working its magic.

He gives them a proud smile, patting each of their cheeks. “That's my girls.”

—

All three of them sit and eat outside with the ever rambunctious crew. Loaves of bread are being tossed around as people ask for them, jams are passed to and fro while Billie and Mona happily chatter with Yuri and Ned. Hobie smiles as the sun shines down on the long table, everything seems perfect with only Gwen, Miles, Pavitr and a handful of the crew with them are away on the second ship. The twins miss them dearly but after a few restless nights of them bawling their eyes out, they're counting down the days until they return back on the main ship.

The only person who isn't miles away but is very much missed on the breakfast table is you. Hobie resists the urge to wake you up, to pepper your face with saccharine kisses until you wake. But you need the sleep, especially that you're carrying the youngest crew member in your growing belly.

After breakfast, Billie and Mona help take down the dishes to the galley where Finn waits for each plate and utensil with a mountain of patience since the tiny crew members could only carry two plates at a time with some help from James. And James distracts them a lot with his stories. One time, Finn has been waiting for the next batch of dishes to be brought down, only to find the trio sitting on the stairs while James turns into their personal storyteller. Thankfully this time though, the only hang up is that Billie and Mona have small legs that don't cover much ground. With the combined help of James and Hobie (even though he needed to talk to Yuri) helped with the dishes.

Next on the agenda is a meeting with his navigator and a few of the crew members inside the captain's office. The twins seem to hate this only thing on the schedule. They sit and wait, and wait some more. With boredom etched on their faces, Ned had a brilliant idea to place a blanket down over a free table where the girls could hang out with their books, toys and drawing notebooks that Miles gifted them. Their giggles and own meeting about which biscuit is the best can be heard under the table while Hobie talks about strategy, he couldn't help but smile the entire meeting. Now it's their favourite part of the day until they see you awake that is.

Hobie brought them back on the deck with the sole purpose of teaching them how to tie knots. Or rather, they begged him to teach them. His calloused hands tie a simple ribbon around a bannister using a silk ribbon instead of the usual rough rope so that their hands wouldn't be irritated by it. His mind wanders back to the day that he first taught you how to properly secure a knot, it seems like forever ago now. But it's not so much a distant memory for him everytime he looks at you, and traces the scars on your palms— it's as if it happened just yesterday.

Waking up from his thoughts of you, he turns around to check on their progress. “Let's see what you've done then.” He's greeted by Mona's curly hair tied around the silky ribbon while Billie's curls are almost identical to hers. All tied around a cute ribbon. Though the pigtails are a bit wonky, they look absolutely adorable. He wishes that Miles could draw the moment so that he could show you later.

“Did we do good?” Mona smiles hopefully, Billie gives her dad the biggest, most adorable grin that could rival the brightness of the sun. Upon seeing this, Mona does the same, even making her eyelashes flutter. A trick that she must've gotten from you.

Hobie crouches down to their height, hands running along their hair and checking the neat ribbons. Surprisingly, they're pretty good at it. Wait till you hear your daughters are better at tying ribbons than you.

He exhales to compose himself from all the cuteness lest he scoops them up in his arms and scream into the sea, telling neptune himself at how adorable his children are.

“Brilliant, you're both brilliant.” They giggle, puffing their chests proudly.

Lo and behold, Hobie still scoops them up in his arms, giving them a squeeze. Both girls shriek happily, legs kicking about as Hobie rises to his full height. He has an idea, which might make Ned pop a blood vessel.

“How about we steer the ship?” Their eyes widened, excited screeching echoing around the deck as they nod furiously.

—

You wake up to the quiet lull of the sea. Waves lapping at the great ship, wood creaking, and blankets falling off your body when a tall wave meets the side of the ship. Water splashes against the porthole, stirring you awake further.

“—Bie?” Your throat scratches with sleep, eyes still heavy as you pat his side of the bed. “Hobie?” Finding it cold and empty, you prop yourself up by your elbows, sniffing at the cool air. “Billie? Mona?” Looking over your girls' toddler beds, you disappointedly find them both empty.

Their rooms aren't quite ready yet according to their standards, the walls aren't pink enough, and their desks aren't big enough. But you and Hobie think that they're still a little bit afraid of sleeping in their own room without the comforting presence of their mum and dad. You don't mind it at all, you also don't think you can sleep without their soft snores across the room. They are still your babies after all.

It's not unusual to find the captain's quarters devoid of your little family, not when both girls are starting to get used to their sea legs after spending the first three years of their life waddling around the shores of your shared home. They were beyond ecstatic when you and Hobie told them that it's the right time to go back to sailing the seas, something that you thought that they wouldn't even care about. But of course they would be excited, after all, their father is the greatest pirate to ever sail the seven seas (according to him and his girls.)

They're very much at home on the ship, so much so that they always wake up their ‘captain dad’ so they could help him with his morning routine even before breakfast is served. Hobie also loves being back, it's like he has never left the embrace of the tides.

Hobie has been a great sport the entire time, whenever the girls would cry about motion sickness or throwing tantrums when they want to climb up on the crow’s nest (because if aunt Yuri can do it, so can they!) he would be there helping you calm them down. Even though he hates waking up before the sun is barely peeking over the horizon, he loves it when he wakes up to his girls' smiling faces. There's nothing better than stirring awake with their little hands patting his face until they ultimately give up and use their feet to kick his legs. The girls would wake you up too but with you carrying the newest crew member in your bump, they're opting to just wake up their dad for now. Hobie has managed to convince the girls that you needed twice the amount of sleep because of the baby. Or managed to swindle them with hot chocolate in the morning, based on the fact that whenever you kiss each of them good morning, they always smell like the sweet drink.

You swing your legs at the end of the bed, socked feet padding along the room to grab your sweater, (or Hobie's old sweater for that matter) after changing and washing your face with the water basin, you head off towards the upper deck. Knowing that they're running along the floors trying to take the mop from James, who refuses to give up his job to a couple of four year olds. Walking along the corridors doesn't leave you winded just yet, you can still see your foot if you look down despite the bump. You have no idea if you can traverse the large ship once you hit the stage of having a stomach as big as a watermelon instead of the coconut sized belly you're strutting around with.

Passing along the galley, you pause at the open doorway, seeing Finn make pie crusts has you wanting to stay and help out. And by help out, you mean taking a little nibble of fruit while he looks away. You still remember the days where you used to spend hours helping in the kitchen.

“Knock knock.” You greet him with a smile. “Have you seen a certain pair of twins with their dad running after them?”

Finn chuckles, blue eyes crinkling at the corners. His grey hair weaved around blonde strands has the twins calling him Santa, or when they're in a good mood (when they want a sweet treat) they call him grandpa Finn, that has the older pirate folding immediately and making whatever the girls want. Unsurprisingly enough, he answers back. “A pair of twins and a pirate walk into a bar, I think I've heard of that joke before.”

“Different joke, Finn.” You snort, eyeing the bowl of blueberries on the counter. Finn, being the perceptive chef on board, notices your hard stare at the fruit.

Without a word, he nudges the bowl towards you, and then he points up towards the deck, replying to your previous question.

“This is why you're my favourite crew member.” Latching onto the bowl, you take it with a smile. “Don't tell Yuri.” He makes a face, putting both flour coated hands up in surrender.

You leave with a grin and a bowl of blueberries. It's still a mystery to you on how Finn keeps them fresh even after weeks of buying them from the last coastal town you anchored in for supplies. You guess you'll never know.

Walking up the steps towards the deck, you're greeted by blinding light as you open the door with a creek. The sight alone would've had you melting if not for the fragile bowl in your hands. Hobie stands on the highest deck with Billie and Ramona in his arms. While both girls are ‘steering’ the ship with their small hands gripping on the wheel as if they're actually sailing the huge ship.

“Mornin’ gorgeous.” Yuri nudges your side, hands dipping inside the bowl to take a handful of fruit, sunlight dancing along her features. “Sleep well? Or did the little pirate keep you awake?”

With the mention of the baby, your hand instinctively pats the bump softly. “Nope, the baby barely kicked me last night. And Hobie helped by letting me sleep in.”

Yuri hums, smiling softly between you and the twins laughing in their dad's arms. “He better, or I'll be the one to kick Hobie where the sun doesn't shine so he doesn't experience fatherhood ever again.”

You laugh, “that is bleak, Yuri.”

She shrugs, “I'm a pirate, Y/N, a pirate who hasn't shot her gun at a navy in months.”

“Sure, big bad pirate, who has made my girls' clothes ever since they were born.” She huffs with a teasing smile, taking another handful of berries. “Don't worry, once Gwen and the others get back from their scouting mission, you get to be a big bad pirate again.”

“I'm turning soft, doc.” She looks at you with puppy dog eyes, lashes fluttering teasingly.

“I know, Yuri, you made my girls puppets last week.”

“And they were fucking gorgeous.”

You start to walk away before she takes half of your stash. “They were! If you get tired of being a pirate, maybe being a puppet maker is your calling.”

She flips you off, grinning from ear to ear before going below deck to maybe annoy Finn instead. Bounding up the steps, Hobie and the twins heard you before they saw you.

“Mummy!” They simultaneously call out, wiggling out of Hobie's arms. He lets them gently back down on the floor, to which they immediately latch onto your legs, trying to climb up.

“Hello, my darlings!” You coo, patting both their heads. Their matching captain tricorns make you giggle. “What have you two been up to?”

“A lot!” Billie jumps up and down to reach your hip, you meet her halfway by crouching down to their level. “We fixed the sail with uncle Ned—”

“We helped auntie Yuri find land by looking into her te-escope!”

You nod enthusiastically, smile blindingly bright as you hold on to them. “What else? You two looked busy with dad.”

Hobie leans on the wheel that's still not activated with the help of a rope tied around the bottom and the other end wrapped around the bannister. The girls are none the wiser. The sun bathes Hobie in glorious light, rays of light seeping through his linen shirt, looking as if no time has passed.

“I should be careful, they're goin' to take my job as captain if they continue their trainin’”

You gasp, feigning hurt. “You mean they're planning a mutiny?! No, not my own girls!”

“What's a mu-tiny?” Billie questions, brows furrowed, an identical look that her sister is also sporting.

Hobie closes the small distance, boots thumping along the floorboards, looking softly at his girls while his hands find their way on their heads. “Tell you what, help uncle James clean the poop deck and I'll tell you.”

“Aye, aye, captain dad!” They say at the same time, even saluting Hobie. Before they could run off, you call them back.

“Take the blueberries, share them with each other, alright? Pass it around to the crew too.” You hand the bowl to them, both girls give you a grin and a smooch to each of your cheeks as thank you. Sometimes you wonder how they could be this sweet, you've joked once that they're a gift from the sea with how kind they could be. “Careful! Don't run— and they're already running off.” Their small feet bound away towards an unassuming James.

“They got that from you.” Hobie helps you up, hand warm against yours. “Always runnin’ off, always so bloody energetic.”

You prop your chin on his shoulder, smiling at him. “Did they tire you out, old man?”

“We're the same age, love.” His hand wraps behind you to cup your hip, fingers tapping along your stomach. He watches as his girls prefer to sit down on the stairs to munch on their snacks. “How's our growing pirate?”

“Good, he didn't kick me all night this time.”

“You?” Hobie leans on the bannister, back pressed on the wood while he guides you in front of him, arms around you, thumbs brushing along your spine while you cradle his jaw in your hands.

“I'm okay, Hobs, nothing of note.”

“You sure? We can still turn around so you can give birth on land.” Worry etches on his face, and you rub your hand on his forehead to flatten the worry lines.

“You forget that I was born at sea, and I've given birth to your pirate gremlins without a problem. I can handle it, don't worry.”

Hobie has a glimpse of you back then, legs coated in crimson, screams echoing around the small cabin that even silences the roar of the sea next door. “Just say the word and we'll find the nearest land, yeah?”

“I promise,” he raises a brow and you roll your eyes. “You know I never break a promise, Cap'n.”

Hobie opens his mouth to quip back, but James’ screech makes you and the pirate in your arms to look. Billie giggles as she runs away with a mop, tracking water droplets on the deck while Mona drags James down with her clinging to his leg with a laugh.

“I think we should save James before he falls overboard. Again.” You unwrap yourself from Hobie, before you could leave his side fully, he gently tugs you back in for a quick but affectionate kiss and a loving pat on your belly.

[just-jordie-things]

[part six] to build a home - gojo satoru

word count: 5k warnings: !!manga spoilers!! swearing, jjk-verse style fighting series summary: when (y/n) (y/l/n) catches wind that the notorious sorcerer killer, toji fushiguro, has children, she makes it her personal mission to find them. the catch being she couldn't tell a soul about them- the risk of the zen'in clan learning about them was too great. keeping the secret isn't the hard part, it's lying to her friends, shoko ieiri, geto suguru, and of course gojo satoru, that she struggles with. especially when satoru has suddenly become so keen on keeping an eye on her lately.

series masterlist

[part six] : "I Held On As Tightly As You Held Onto Me" ___

The day after her little excursion with Satoru, (y/n) wakes up bright and early to get off campus before anyone else awoke.  The alarm that blares in her ear is harsh and unforgiving at nearly six in the morning, but she doesn’t waste a second getting herself ready and rushing out to the front gates to get to town as soon as she could.

To her surprise, she wasn’t the only one awake this early in the morning.

“Nanami,” (y/n) stops in her tracks as she sees the lone sorcerer jogging through the gates.  He seems just as surprised to see her.  “What’re you doing up this early on a day off?” 

“I could ask you the same thing,” He stops just a few feet before her, his head tilted to the side.  “You’ve spent quite a bit of time in Tokyo, huh?” 

“You don’t know that’s where I'm off to” She replies, and it’s meant to be playful, teasing, but Nanami’s bullshit detector might rival Suguru’s.

He eyes her up and down.

“Looks to me like you are,” He says bluntly.  “If you’re not, then where are you off to?” 

(y/n) remains silent, unable to come up with even a half-decent lie.

“That’s what I thought,” He chuckled.  “Don’t worry.  I’m not one to spill other people’s business to those they’re hiding it from” 

Taken aback, (y/n) scoffs, shaking her head awkwardly.

“I’m not- I’m not hiding anything from anyone” 

“You’re a shitty liar,” Nanami replies, and it sounds harsh, but he’s just blunt with his words.  “Lucky for you, I’m tired of Gojo sticking his nose in things that don’t involve me, let alone him.  So I won’t tell him I saw you,” 

She’s trying to keep up a clueless act, but the relief she feels at his words is obvious.

“But a little advice?” Nanami asks, and she nods her head in a small motion, eyes flickering over him.  “He’s going to catch on sooner or later,” He tells her.  “So whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re seeing…” He trails off, seemingly to find the right words.  “You better get your shit figured out.  I’ll keep this to myself, but I don’t need Six Eyes in my business the way he got into Yu’s just to protect you” 

She nods again, slowly processing what he said.

“Thank you, Nanami,” Her voice is barely above a whisper when she finds it.  “I wouldn’t ask any more of you.  Thank you” 

The blonde sorcerer is still and silent for a moment, lost in his thoughts.  He doesn’t consider this an act of kindness, more so an act of self preservation.  He knew better than to get involved in something that would inevitably have upset Gojo Satoru.  Nanami may have subtly despised the older sorcerer, but  he was smarter than to go out of his way to upset him.

After a long pause, he nods back at her, and turns to continue his jog.  (y/n) reaches out before he can leave.

“Wait, Nanami,” She calls.  “One more thing?” 

Begrudgingly, he stops in his tracks, giving her his attention once more.

“You said Satoru was bothering Yu?” 

“Bothering is an understatement,” Nanami scoffs.  “Safe to say Yu’s terrified of him now.  If he wasn’t already.  But…” 

(y/n) waits impatiently for him to continue, hanging on to every word he spoke.  What business Satoru had scaring Yu, she wasn’t entirely sure.  But she wondered if it had anything to do with the last time he’d brought up the younger sorcerer’s crush.

“... I suppose Yu knew he was signing up for such treatment when he decided to pursue someone that already had a claim on them” 

(y/n) blinked, her mouth dropping open slightly, but no words came out.  No words even came to mind.  Nanami chuckled, smiling for maybe the first time she’s ever seen, before he gave her a small wave and jogged off.  She was frozen in place for a minute, and even when she finally brought herself to go on her way, she wasn’t quite sure what to make of their whole interaction.

She decides to pack it away in her mind for now, and keep her focus on the rest of her day.  She owed Megumi and Tsumiki big time for yesterday, and she planned to start the day off the right way- with apology donuts.

Last night (y/n) had called Tsumiki like she’d promised she would, and the little girl didn’t seem too bothered that she hadn’t made an appearance that day, but she’d said that Megumi wasn’t in the mood to talk.  Leaving (y/n) to believe the young boy held a little more of a grudge.  

Not that she could blame him.  She’d dropped the ball by not holding to her promise.  She hoped that some day, when they were older, they would understand why she had to keep them a secret.  It was for their own good and she knew that now, but they weren’t quite old enough for her to explain.

She just hoped that they could forgive her, this time.  And she hoped that she’d never have to go back on their word again. ___

Satoru strolled into the courtyard, finding his friends relaxed at a picnic table, their lunches and a pack of cigarettes between them.  They were laughing at something he hadn’t heard before approaching, clearly sharing their food and a cig.  There was just one thing missing.

“Hey,” The white haired sorcerer greeted, throwing one leg over the wooden bench, facing Suguru as he sat.  “Where’s-” 

“Before you ask, we don’t know,” Shoko cut him off, passing the cigarette back to the man across from her, and picking up a pair of chopsticks in exchange.  “Went to ask her if she wanted to have lunch with us, but she wasn’t in her room.  Again” 

“Again?” Satoru asked, brows furrowing.

“(y/n’s) absent almost more than you are these days, Satoru” Suguru commented.

“With what? Tutoring?” 

“Who knows,” Shoko hums.  “But she’s not on campus” 

Satoru gives her a hard stare from behind his dark shades.  The girl throws her hands up defensively, before reaching in front of Suguru’s plate to snatch up a rice ball.

“She’s been off having her own little adventures for the last few weeks,” Suguru says.  “We don’t know where she goes.  She likes her privacy” 

“So you don’t even know where she is-?” 

“Satoru,” Shoko mumbles through a mouthful of rice ball.  “You worry too much about her.  If she was in trouble, she would tell us” 

Suguru points a finger at her, silently agreeing with what she said.

“You’re both the worst” Satoru mutters, earning a laugh from his friends.

“You’re worried she’s with a guy?” Shoko muses, her eyes wandering over Suguru’s plate, trying to decide on what to steal next.

Suguru lets out a whistle, an amused smile on his face.

“Did she say something about a guy?” He asks before Satoru can.

“Maybe,” Shoko replies, eyeing a juicy looking piece of beef, and plucking it up before Suguru’s chopsticks can beat her to it.  “Maybe not” 

Satoru’s jaw is locked in place, and he feels his eye start to twitch like it had the day he approached Haibara.  Meanwhile, Suguru is laughing, like he’s excited to hear such news.

“(y/n) with a non-sorcerer?” He thinks aloud.  He’s laughing so much his shoulders are shaking.  Satoru thinks about smacking him upside the head.  “How fascinating” 

“She’s not seeing a guy,” The white haired sorcerer snaps.  “She would have said something” 

Shoko scoffs.

“Not likely” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Because she’s always been private about her romantic interests?” Her voice tilts as though asking a question, as though it was an obvious answer.  “I swear I’ve had to pry it out of her” 

“Oh do tell” Suguru purrs, leaning over the table curiously.

“Or don’t,” Satoru grumbles.  “I’d like to keep my lunch inside of me, thank you” 

“Don’t be such a jealous bore,” Suguru waves a dismissive hand towards his friend, before turning back to Shoko.  “So, who has she been with? Because I would just love to hear about a few of those little underclassmen in the sack” 

Shoko giggles, reaching over to snatch the cigarette that had been ignored in his fingers for far too long.

“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I told,” She winked.  “You’ll just have to sleep with them to see for yourself” 

“You’re both insufferable, you know that?” 

“Speak for yourself” Suguru replies.

“I’m a little curious about Ijichi, though.  What do you think?” Shoko ponders, to no one in particular.

Suguru hums thoughtfully.

“So you have no idea where (y/n) is, or what she’s been up to, but she’s been sneaking off for the last week?” 

“We never said she was sneaking off” Suguru shrugs a shoulder.

“Oh, I would,” Shoko speaks up, blowing out a plume of smoke.  “Saw her sneaking back in on Friday” 

Suguru raises an intrigued brow.

“Late?” He presumes.

She nods, a small smirk on her lips.

“Almost midnight” 

Suguru whistles again.

Satoru was getting tired of their gossip that led nowhere.  They could both tell that he was annoyed, they just didn’t care enough to drop the topic.  It was fun after all, getting him riled up.  It was also fun to chat about what they thought she was up to.

“Definitely a booty call, then,” Suguru decides, snatching a piece of beef off his plate before Shoko could.  “Why else would she be slinking around so late?” He ponders.

Satoru can’t wrap his head around (y/n) sneaking out to hook up with some nobody in Tokyo.  How would she have even met this person? And she didn’t seem the type to have some meaningless fling.  But perhaps that was all the more reason for her to have one? The secrecy of it all gnawed at him, made him queasy.  He ran a hand through his hair stressfully.

“Come to think of it, a few weeks ago I also saw her get in pretty late.  Not that late, but it was probably around ten o’clock” Suguru pursed his lips as he thought about it, knowing full well that she had in fact been sneaking around.

But he didn’t have to share that information just yet.  Making Satoru squirm was far too entertaining.

Satoru suddenly stood from his seat.  Both of his friends watched him curiously, wondering if he was going to blow up or just storm off.

He turns to walk off, but before he can get too far, Shoko speaks up.

“I wouldn’t go after her”

Satoru turns around, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And why shouldn’t I?” 

“Tch, isn’t it obvious?” Suguru scoffs.  “If you go after her now, and catch her in- well whatever or whoever she’s up to, she’ll be pissed” 

Satoru grinds his teeth, not wanting to admit out loud that his friends were right.  Even though they all knew it.

“You don’t want to piss her off,” Shoko chuckles, stumping the embers off the butt of her cigarette on the wood table.  “(y/n’s) fiery when she’s angry,” She lets out a short chuckle as though she were recalling her own experience with upsetting the girl.  “But, maybe you’d like that” She adds with a little smirk.

Suguru snickers across from her.

Satoru’s jaw finally relaxes.  And then in a blink, he was no longer standing before them.  They don’t know where he teleported off to, but their focus shifts right back to the lunch before them.

“You really think (y/n’s) got a hookup in town?” Suguru asks.

Shoko shrugs.

“Don’t have another explanation for it.  You?”

“Yeah.  Me neither,” He agrees.  “You think Satoru’s gonna go track the poor fucker down?” 

“Yep” 

“Yeah.  Me too” ___

In fact, Gojo Satoru hadn’t teleported himself into Tokyo.  His friends had gotten too in his head for him to go searching for (y/n).  No matter how much his curiosity was eating him alive wondering what she could be up to, he was more afraid of losing her in the long run if he stuck his nose in her business.  He’d have to figure out some other way to get her to fess up.

He’d just gotten too annoyed with his friends, so he’d teleported himself into the school, and as soon as his feet touched ground, his fist was launching into the wall.  The wood splintered and cracked, but luckily he hadn’t fully punched through it.  Yaga would probably be upset.

Shaking out his now sore and bruised hand, he looked over, realizing he hadn’t chosen an empty hallway to punch out his frustrations.

Nanami Kento stood there, just a few feet away.  His face expressionless, but still staring at the sight before him inquisitively.

“Something bothering you?” He asked, his voice monotone.  Satoru sneered back at the sarcastic remark.

“Mind your business” 

“You’re the one that showed up in front of me and started punching” Nanami scoffed.

Alright.  That was true.

“Whatever” He muttered.

“Why would you punch something without your infinity up?” Nanami asks, his head nodding to the bloodied knuckles of Satoru’s hand.  “Doesn’t that hurt?” 

Satoru wants to repeat himself, tell him to mind his business, flip him the middle finger and storm off, but for some reason, he chuckles.

“Yeah, it does,” He answered.  “Guess I was too angry” 

The blonde sorcerer hummed, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“You’re going to leave Yu alone, right?” He changes the topic, taking a few steps forward.

Satoru looks him up and down, raising a brow curiously.

“What, you got a reason why I should?” He asks.  

Honestly, Satoru had no intention of going after the younger sorcerer anymore than he already had.  Even if by some landslide (y/n) decided he was her dream man, he would leave him alone.  But Nanami’s question sparked an interest in him. 

“Besides the fact that he hasn’t done anything wrong?” Nanami quips back, his voice never wavering above it’s steady tone.

Satoru chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill your friend just cause he sticks his business where it doesn’t belong” 

“Hypocrite” Nanami bites back.

“Me?” Satoru laughs again, but this time it’s humorless.  Irritated.  “I’m the hypocrite?” 

“You’re the one that barged in on us, demanding him to tell you about his encounter with her.  You’re the one that was acting like a dog marking it’s territory” 

Satoru’s interest in this conversation was quickly turning to rage.  He should have just told Nanami that he had no qualms with Haibara Yu, but now it was too late, and he was getting pissed off.  

He takes a long stride forward, his eyes hardening.

“Are you calling her my territory?” He asks, voice losing it’s playful tone as it lowers.

Nanami knew that if they were to get into a fight right now, he was bound to lose in a mere second.  But he was protective of his friend, and this conflict was pointless.

That said, Gojo Satoru was starting to get on his nerves, walking around like he could act however he wanted, treat people however he wanted, Haibara and (y/n) alike.  Yu hadn’t crossed any lines, and despite how the Six Eyes user may feel, (y/n) wasn’t spoken for.

“I’m saying (y/n) isn’t spoken for,” Nanami voices his thoughts, even though deep down, the instinct in his blood told him to back off before this got ugly.  “She doesn’t belong to anyone,” 

Satoru is all but oozing his jealousy.  He’s glaring at him, his chest puffed, his hands in fists at his sides.  Nanami would have laughed had he not been completely serious.

“And if she were here, she’d probably tell you so” He finished.

They stand in silence for a minute.  

One of them glaring, huffing in annoyance.  

The other is calm, collected, unwavering in his stance.

The silence is long, and deafening.  Until Nanami finally walks away, without a word, without a second glance back, he leaves Satoru alone in the hall.  His work feels completed.  Haibara Yu shouldn’t have any issue with the older, more experienced sorcerer again.  He’s not sure if he’s solved any conflict for (y/n) (y/l/n) or made it worse, but he feels little to no care if he’s disturbed her relationship with Gojo Satoru.

However, as he leaves, there’s a slight nag in the back of his mind.  A worry that he’d done her a disservice by speaking on her behalf.  He tries to brush it off.

Suddenly he’s reminded of the way she’d thanked him that morning, for keeping a small secret for her.  If he could even call it a secret, it’s not as though he’d known what she was up to at the crack of dawn, and he’s not even sure why he cared to keep that to himself now, even when he could have used it to get under Gojo’s skin.  Something told him not to bring it up, for her sake.

Nanami Kento didn’t know (y/n) well, she was a year above him after all, so the only time he’d spent any time with her at all was during the Exchange Event with the Kyoto school.  Even then, all he could gather on her was that she was a very skilled, very thoughtful fighter.  It wasn’t like there was any spare time to get to know her better.  So he doesn’t know why he’d chosen to keep her secret.

Perhaps Yu had spoken too fondly of her as of late, and it had gotten to his head. ___

(y/n) had spent all day chatting with Tsumiki, about anything and everything she’d wanted to talk about.  They talked about school, what manga she was reading, what friends she had hung out with as of late, the conversation seemed to flow with ease.  (y/n) was grateful that the young girl had forgiven her, seemingly easily, and she made sure to assure her that she would never go back on her word again.

They’re sitting on the couch in the living room together when (y/n) tells her this.

“I know, (y/n).  It’s okay” Tsumiki had said.

“I know you say that,” (y/n) had spoken seriously, the light mood in the living room suddenly warping.  “But I want you to know that I mean it.  When I make a promise about something, I won’t ever go back on it.  Not with you.  Not again” 

Tsumiki nods, giving her a small smile.  She seems to understand how important it was for (y/n), so she decides to treat it with importance too.

“I think Megumi was a little upset,” She admits, quietly.

(y/n) nods in agreement.  She’d already gotten that feeling, since he hadn’t left his room, even when she’d brought him a donut for breakfast.  It had been hours since she’d arrived at the Fushiguro house, and he was still holed up in there.

“He didn’t say anything,” Tsumiki continues.  “But he gets quiet when he’s upset.  Even though he’s always quiet”

(y/n) chuckles softly.

“I don’t blame him for being upset with me,” She replies.  “If he doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s alright.  It won’t bother me” 

It’s quiet.  Tsumiki plays with the hem of her dress while (y/n) pensively glances out the window.  She means what she said, but she hopes that Megumi would crawl out of his shell soon, so that she could properly apologize to him.

“(y/n)?”

The sorcerer hums, looking back over to the child.

“It’s been really nice… having you around,” Tsumiki says, so soft that she’s almost whispering.  She’s still staring down at the skirt of her dress, held tightly in her small hands.  “I’m really glad you found us” 

Her heart swells with so much love that (y/n) can’t help but grin.  She reaches out, tucking a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear, before smoothing her hand over the back of her head.

“I’m glad I found you too, Tsumiki,” She tells her.  “I hope you know you can always ask me for anything.  Whatever it is, I’ll do anything I can to do it for you.  Okay?” 

Tsumiki nods, her cheeks blossoming with pink as she smiles back at her.

“I should probably go bug your brother,” (y/n) sighs, dropping her hand and leaning back in her seat.  “He’s not going to be happy with me, is he?” 

Tsumiki giggles, shaking her head.

“If you hear me screaming for help, come save me?” 

Still giggling, the nine year old nods this time, and (y/n) smiles playfully back at her, before standing from the sofa.

Making her way down the hall and to the front of Megumi’s closed door, she takes in a deep breath, knowing he will be harder to crack than his sister.  Megumi had always been more reserved, even when he opened up to her it was always by handing out scraps.  She wanted to make this right.  He deserved that much.

She knocks gently on the wood.

“Megumi?” She calls, before knocking again.  “Can I come in” 

It’s quiet for a beat.  Before she hears a small, “Fine” 

Still, as she opens the door, she’s slow, and she doesn’t step inside right away.

Megumi is sitting on the floor with his back against his bed.  He’s reading Charlotte’s Web again, the book propped open in his lap.  (y/n) wonders how many times he’s read it now, and her heart weakens a little at the realization why he held such an attachment to it.

But she can’t cry for him, not right now.  Right now he needed to see that she was strong, and she was here because she wanted to be strong for him, for both of them.

“What have you been up to today?” She asks, leaning against the doorframe.

The boy doesn’t answer aloud.  He simply holds his book up, before placing it back in his lap.

“Reading?”

He blinks at her.

“That’s good.  I was too much of a brat as a kid to enjoy reading.  But it’s a good hobby.  For smart kids” 

“You’re saying you weren’t a smart kid?” He asks.  (y/n) chuckles, shaking her head.

“Absolutely not,” She admits.  “I was a troublemaker.  I get the feeling you wouldn’t have liked me if you’d known me back then,” She tells him.

Young Megumi’s eyes are wide.  He’s shocked to hear someone say such a thing.  He’d never thought an adult would admit something so silly.  Usually adults always acted like they were perfect, and they knew best.  

He supposed he already knew (y/n) was different.  She wasn’t like other adults, probably because she wasn’t quite yet a real adult herself.

“Not that I assume you like me now,” She continues, only half teasing.  “But I think you would, if you got to know me better,” 

Megumi drops his head, staring down at the pages of his book.  He picks at the edge of it’s worn spine.

(y/n) tilts her head to the side, watching him thoughtfully for a moment, giving him a minute to take in everything she’d said before she continued.

Megumi and his sister were vastly different, for as close as they were.  Tsumiki was bubbly, chatty, happy to get to know anyone and happy to let anyone get to know her.  Megumi was quite the opposite.  He wasn’t shy, but he was more reserved than any other eight year old (y/n) had met.  He didn’t want to open up, seemingly ever, and he also didn’t show much interest in other people opening up either.

“Megumi, if I ask you something, do you think you could be honest with me?” Her question is carefully worded, hoping that he could see she was trying to present an olive branch.

He looks up at her, thinking for a moment, before nodding his head.

“Are you upset with me for not coming by yesterday?” She asks, tilting her towards her shoulder.

“You don’t owe us anything,” Megumi answers, dropping his eyes to his book again.  “You don’t have to come here.  You don’t know us” He pauses, his fingers tugging roughly at the spine of his book now.

(y/n) steps inside then, crossing the room to kneel down in front of him.  Her hands gently wrapped around his, stopping him from damaging his book further.

Megumi freezes, but he doesn’t push her away, and doesn’t snap out of irritated protest.  (y/n) realizes she’s never touched him before, and she wasn’t sure when the last time someone could have touched him gently, affectionately.  His father surely wasn’t the type, and she didn’t know how long his mother had been out of the picture.

She wraps her hands around his small one more securely, pulling it away from the book.  He’s staring at her hands as though it was his first time seeing them.  When she looks at him, she can see his eyes have a gloss to them.

“That isn’t what I asked,” She reminds him.  “It’s okay if you’re upset with me, you know.  You’re allowed to be” 

He looks at her now, his little eyebrows pinched together as he tries to figure out what he’s supposed to say.

And then he remembers that she asked him to be honest, and he supposes he has no reason not to be.

“I shouldn’t be upset,” He huffs.  “You’re not our family.  And I should have never expected you to stick around anyways.  No one sticks around” 

(y/n) shuffles to sit beside him, with her back pressed to his bed.  She lets go of his hand to take his book away, marking the page before setting it down on the floor in front of them.

“You’re right,” She hums, thoughtfully.  “I’m not your family, and I don’t need you to treat me as such,” She adds.  “But Megumi, I want you to know, that I will always come back,” 

He blinks at her, his eyes filling with more tears.

“I’m not going anywhere.  I’m sticking around whether you want me to or not.  And I need you to believe me when I tell you that,” 

(y/n) feels herself get choked up as well, but she clears her throat and wills her eyes to dry.  This wasn’t about her.

“If only you knew how long I looked for you,” She confesses, placing a hand on his unruly head of hair, ruffling it playfully.  “Once I knew you guys were out there somewhere, on your own, I didn’t stop.  I never rested.  And to be honest, I still don’t.  I probably never will,” 

Megumi sniffled, and wiped his eyes on his arm.  (y/n) dropped her hand from his hair, smiling softly at him.

“You’re important to me,” She tells him.  “Even when you’re being a little shit,” She adds in a teasing voice.

Megumi’s eyes widened at the curse word, in disbelief she would say such a thing to a kid, even if it was true.  She chuckles at his reaction.

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t come yesterday,” She hums.  “I should have been here.  I told you I would be, and I should have.  It’s not okay that I lied to you.  And I will never lie to you again, alright?”

He nods his head in a small action.  A tear slips down his cheek.

“I’m really proud of you for getting all of your schoolwork done,” She says.  “I’m really proud of you for being so grown up, and taking care of yourselves all this time,” She adds.  “You’re a brave kid, Megumi.  Probably the toughest I’ve ever met,” 

More tears pool out of his eyes, dripping off his eyelashes and splashing down his cheeks, staining his shirt.  He’s sniffling as he cries, and he’s given up on trying to wipe away all of his tears.  They’re falling too fast for him to catch them all.

“And I promise I’ll always be here for you,” (y/n) reaches a hand out, cupping his small face and wiping away his tears with the pad of her thumb.  “Always.  Okay? For anything you need.  You understand?” 

“Okay” Megumi’s voice cracks.

His eyes shut tight, and before (y/n) can reach her other hand out to dry his other cheek, he launches forward.  His arms reach around her back, grabbing the back of her shirt as he hugs her tightly, crying into her sweater.

(y/n) looks down at him for a second, taken aback by the sudden action.  But she snaps herself out of her surprise, wrapping her arms around his small frame, and hugging him closely.  She held on as tightly as he held onto her.

He’s shaking slightly.  She rubs his back in smooth, slow circles, resting her chin on the top of his head as she soothes him quietly.  

It’s several minutes before he stops crying, but even still, he remains in her hold for a little longer.  (y/n) doesn’t mind.  She’d sit here with him for the rest of her day if she had to.  She’d do anything to put him at ease.

She’d do anything to build a home for these kids.  It dawns on her now, something Megumi had said about her not being family.  Perhaps they weren’t by blood, but still her heart grew and ached for these kids. They were like family to her.

They spend the rest of the day together relaxing, watching funny movies and eating snacks.  (y/n) makes them a big dinner, with plenty of leftovers for them to heat up throughout the next few days if she can't stop by.  She makes them promise they’ll eat the vegetables even if she’s not around.

That night when she puts them to bed, Megumi crawls into Tsumiki’s bed, happily listening to (y/n) read the next chapter of Charlotte’s Web, even if he’d already read it countless times.  He falls asleep in Tsumiki’s bed.

(y/n) brushes their hair from their foreheads so it wouldn’t tickle them in their sleep.  She leaves the room silently.  When she gets outside, she says the incantation to lower the protective curtain.

Her walk home feels more quiet than usual.  Her thoughts aren’t buzzing with paranoia of getting back so late, or worry that she was overstepping in the Fushiguro’s lives.

She felt content.  Calm. All she could hope was that her kids had a good night’s sleep, and that the next time she saw them they had nothing but good things to share with her. ___

taglist: @whats-humanity-lol @malinq-ashida @mor-pheus @bekahtaylorgriggs @pookiea @megumimind @thealchemical @pearlstiare @niallerhere @96jnie @purpleguk @peqch-pie @yukinemaroop @makis-girl @sadtoru

xoxo - jordie

[syn0vial]

touch-averse or touch-starved? an analysis of boba fett's attitudes towards physical touch in legacy of the force

a sufficient number of people expressed interest in this topic that i'm finally making this post! i find this facet of fett's characterization quite fascinating and naturally wanted to share, especially bc it's so unexpectedly nuanced in a lot of ways. so here it is, for the consideration and enjoyment of fic writers, expanded universe enjoyers, and general fett fans alike!

touch is (ostensibly) unbearable because it's a form of compassion. throughout the series, if there's one thing we learn can put fett into the fight-or-flight reflex, it's compassion. at multiple points, his gut reaction to someone showing him compassion is to either lash out at them to get them to stop (as he does with jaina), or if he's not willing to do that, get away from them as fast as he can (as he does with sintas and occasionally beviin early into their friendship). fett explicitly equates more intimate forms of touch (such as hugging, or taking his hand) with compassion and states outright that he has no idea how to respond to such gestures. yet, fett's attitude towards touch cannot be boiled down to simple aversion, because

fett's reactions to physical touch read more like someone who is touch-starved, not touch-averse. despite the attitude towards compassion explored above, when fett is actually faced with compassionate touch, his reaction is not what one would expect. in contrast to when people try to verbally show him compassion, which will get the aforementioned fight-or-flight response, compassionate touch provokes much more ambivalence. for example, when sintas reaches out to take his hand, he initially "dreads" it—yet, when she actually touches him, the text tells us, "He needed her to let go of his hand; but he didn't want her to." similarly, though fett seems to express relief that mirta isn't the type to hug him or take his hand, in the very previous book, we seem to have evidence contrary to all parts of this statement. namely, mirta places her hand in his to reassure him when he's undergoing a very painful treatment for his fucked-up-clone-DNA disease, and his reaction is to immediately take her hand and, when the doctor starts lining up the needle, to squeeze it with such force that mirta "thought he'd break every bone in her fingers." these do not read as the reactions of someone who is averse to touch, but rather, someone who is actually quite touch-starved.

(note that it is not at all uncommon for fett's actions/emotional responses to be at odds with the image he projects. he is not at all a reliable narrator of his own internal experience. for example, at one point he claims to not feel ashamed of anything he's ever done, despite the fact that we see him explicitly grappling with feelings of deep, paralyzing shame for how he treated sintas. beviin even teases him for this habit at one point, responding to fett's claims of professional detachment in the face of his obvious care for others with a cheeky, "'course, i believe you 😉")

furthermore, as we see with mirta, fett can get downright clingy when he's worried about someone. in revelation, fett and mirta both take part in a mission that eventually forces them to split up into separate strike teams. fett is, to put it mildly, rather anxious about this. he fears that something will happen to mirta when she's on her own, and that furthermore, it will be his fault for agreeing to take her along on the mission in the first place. significantly, the separation is book-ended by two instances of fett physically grabbing mirta. first, when mirta begins to climb up into the other part of the ship, fett grabs her by the ankle to try and slow her departure, a result, we're told of his "sudden fear for her." he doesn't let go until she shakes him off. later on, when they're reunited, with mirta covered in someone else's (though fett isn't yet aware of this) blood, jaina observes that he grabs her tightly by the shoulder "as if he was going to shake the daylights out of her." both of these reactions seem to be purely instinctive and visceral; it seems fett's first, kneejerk reaction to the fear of losing someone is to physically grab and hold onto them. again, his actions don't align with the detached, touch-averse image he sometimes portrays.

finally, the characters who know fett best seem to know to offer physical reassurance in the face of painful/distressing situations. specifically, we see beviin and mirta offer physical touch as reassurance; beviin places his hand on fett's back when he's watching sintas suffer from carbonite thawing sickness and is anxiously waiting to see whether her mind is still intact, and, as mentioned above, mirta places her hand in his when he's receiving treatment for his genetic disease. and that's not to even mention how sintas's first reaction to seeing him in emotional turmoil is to try and take his hand. for all that fett tries to put on a distant, untouchable facade, the characters he cares about most and vice-versa can see through it within the text itself.

in conclusion, i feel like if a character he cared about actually hugged him, fett's reaction would be something along the lines of this image:

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[nipuni]

Time for an old school blog post, Hello!

Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊

Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.

Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.

This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!

Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!

On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.

Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!

We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.

Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂

OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!

Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!

Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!