#especially since there's a lot of subtle things and the thing about It Terms is they don't always convey subtlety

[realcube]

Could you do a Saiki x touch-starved reader

(Also I love your writes!❤️)

SAIKI K x touch-starved! reader hcs

☆ saiki is very apprehensive to touch you

☆ mostly because he's not naturally very physically affectionate

☆ and also because if he gets too flustered he might accidentally level a whole country , ya never know

☆ but if he can read your thoughts so when he finds out that you're eager for hugs and cuddles n all that sweet stuff

☆ he learns to deal with it

☆ and finds ways to touch you that work for both of you

☆ he likes to sit next to you , shoulder to shoulder, just on the couch while y'all are watching something or on the floor while playing video games

☆ it sounds awkward and that's because it kinda is but he considers it to be peak intimacy

☆ and massages !!

☆ he doesn't mind giving / receiving massages at all , especially from you , in fact he really enjoys it

☆ that is the most at peace you will ever see him

☆ though iirc it's canon that trying to rub his back feels like chipping away at stone, but you make it work somehow.. perhaps a chisel ??

☆ he also pats your head, another thing that you might find awkward but comes naturally to him in terms of affection

☆ he's very hesitant to cuddle because he's afraid his super strength might activate and he might crush you

☆ if you're tried and you ask him to carry you to your bed , assuming he'd pick you up bridal style and you'd have a cute moment

☆ you couldn't be more wrong because he'll pick you up with one hand carry you to your bed like a platter of shrimp

☆ he is even very nervous about holding hands because again, super strength

☆ and it makes him feel the tiniest bit bad because like.. he is depriving you of normal boyfriend/couple experiences bc he's a psychic

☆ bc if he was just a normal boy, he'd find a way to overcome his adversity to touch and physical affection for you because he knows you like it and it's the least he can do

☆ but it's obviously a bit harder when you're a psychic

☆ sometimes he practises by hugging pillows but that usually just results in torn pillowcases and feathers/cotton like.. everywhere

☆ and plus the stakes are a lot higher when it comes to you so he's more likely to get anxious and mess something up

☆ but he makes up for it by being sweet in ways you might not expect

☆ like he tends to feed you desserts a lot, and he doesn't even realise how intimate it can be, he just thinks of it as normal to want to share some of his favourite food with a person he loves

☆ and if you get a bit of icing on your lips, he'll wipe it with a napkin for you

☆ he also doesn't mind it when you touch him

☆ since less can go wrong that way

☆ like you could legitimately start using him and human jungle gym and he couldn't care less

☆ in fact, he secretly enjoys it

☆ sometimes you think you can catch him out and surprise him with a hug attack but of course that hardly ever works because... he's psychic

☆ so you'll just pounce on him and instead of falling over like most ppl would, he stays upright and you are left hugging and clinging onto him like he's a tree

☆ also he'll never admit it but he loves lil kiss on the cheek !!

☆ makes him feel very much loved and afterwards and so enamoured and he thinks he does a good job at hiding it but you can always tell bc his expression goes from 😐 to 🙂

☆ a very subtle difference but you as his s/o notice it immediately

[fynsh]

Currently reading a lot of Coruscant Guard fics

What if upon receiving info about their assigned positions the whole command batch came up with a strategy of regularly switching posts to be on Coruscant.

Initially it's to provide cover for the expected medical emergencies (because Coruscant is safe) or if they'll be in need of different talents for specific long-term missions. Cause even after receiving the same standard training, all of them have specialized in different areas. Not enough to be noticed by outsiders since the batchers know how to secretly provide info and apply eachother's shared knowledge immediately.

Of course it doesn't work out because:

- Some Jedi unexpectedly pay way more attention to their commanders and men. General Kenobi spots Cody in the mess and goes to sit at the same table. Even when the clones switch around he recognizes everyone instantly, so Cody is staying on The Negotiator permanently. One of the best things coming out of this is the opportunity to meet up with Captain Rex and the 501st

- Wolffe sustains an injury that they won't be able to cover like they usually do with other tattoos or scars and after losing almost all of the 104th decides to stay and rebuild his battalion with a very protective General Koon

- Ponds suddenly finds himself taking responsibility for the most feral kid in the galaxy. He sometimes wonders if Boba distracting Sing before she could actually shoot him was an elaborate ploy to get a better chance to kill General Windu himself or if the boy actually cared about his not-brothers (Boba cares a lot)

- Bly cannot for the life of him stand motionless during another debate in the Senate without going crazy cause he just cares too much about every honest voice being silenced by corruption and greed. His general also seems to watch him closer than others do and he takes the chance to try to learn more about the war efforts from the perspective of the Jedi

- Bacara, Monnk, Gree and Neyo are on missions taking them to the other side of the galaxy, so far away that they barely make it back to Coruscant. They can't even enter the batchers' secret communication channels most of the times

- Which leaves Fox to become the "permanent" Marshall Commander of the Corries. He guesses it's only fair because more than half of the awards and decorations on the wall of the office were rewarded for his actions. The other half are mostly thanks to Thorn and Bacara being reckless but highly competent idiots

- Thire, Stone and Thorn joke they got stuck with the most uptight of the batch but later realize that Fox strict approach is keeping their men relatively safe. Cause Fox realized very quickly that Coruscant is in fact not safe

- Everyone else takes a whole lot longer to catch on to the not so subtle dangers stretching their claws from the very inside of the Republic's heart, especially with the Guard starting to drift apart from the GAR silently. It takes the CMOs meeting and drinking too much moonshine to finally connect the dots of why the communication lines went mostly dead.

- Cody immediately starts strategizing for escape scenarios and researches uninhabited planets. He needs to survive any possible scenario so he can reunite his brothers. His general notices. Rex does as well

- Wolffe is furious and the wolfpack starts finishing their rescue missions in record time to get to the homefront as quickly as possible. He stops drinking alone like he sometimes did and starts accompanying all of his actions with softer words than usual. His general notices

- Ponds is shocked and starts taking to the shinies more. He also asks Boba about his point of view cause the boy definitely notices things a grown man doesn't. He starts sending regular updates about the developments of the general public's moods and tries to find ways to engage in a positive way with the natborns to bring attention to the men fighting a war for them. His general notices

- Bly is sad and starts reading up on all political and especially civil rights debates he can get his hands on. His general notices and asks her master if he has more intel on current developments in all parts of the galaxy. General Vos hasn't been on Coruscant since the start of the second year of war but draws the conclusion he should dig deeper into the Heart of the Republic

- Bacara is seething and keeps perfecting his already optimized battle plans. The marines train to annihilate droids by hand. He also keeps stocking up on medical equipment. His general doesn't notice

- Neyo doesn't acknowledge feeling anything. He starts tinkering again. He's looking for ways to design communication and transportation devices from all the droid scrap they usually leave behind on the battlefield. He even learns Jawaese. His general doesn't notice

- Monnk and Gree are determined. They comm eachother and start researching on how to survive long term in unknown environments and writing guides on how to identify edibles plants, safe water supplies, how to test for breathable atmosphere and which species like to live in symbiotic or peaceful ways with humanoids. They mask it as personal interest. Their generals notice

- Fox is panicking. He needs to find a new way to keep Hound from being decommissioned for Grizzer peeing in front of a senator's door the second after a natborn noticed their carefully crafted loop hole to switch designations of fallen brothers for the ones they could still save in the official documentation the Guard issues. He hasn't slept or eaten in two days as his comm blinks with the notification of a General striding through the Guard's front door like he belonged among the Corries. He has no time to deal with whatever the Jedi want from them but Thire is already on the brink of breaking down scanning data pads for a new loop hole so he grabs his helmet and runs to stop the force user from asking his questions at the wrong time. Not-his general notices

No idea for an actual plot. Just wanted to think about some hurt/comfort and competent clone commanders being brothers before being soldiers

[shirefantasies]

How Thorin’s Company Acts Around Their Crush

Hope all who celebrate had a wonderful Christmas! Since I’ve gotten some requests for The Hobbit characters as well I thought I would start with my usual beginning! Yes I’m repping ALL of them 😤😂 you can imagine the older members’ as taking place when they were younger or not…depends how you like it 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Balin

✧ As his feelings for you grow, so too does his care for you. As if by magic he always seems to know where you are and what you need. Being more subtle and witty with his feelings, Balin is not the easiest to decipher in terms of intention but you can be damn sure you know he cares.

✧ Shares stories with you, tales of his ancestors or days as a young dwarf roaming the mountain halls, chuckling warmly at your reactions.

✧ There to catch you whenever you fall, hands gently gripping your waist as he asks if you’re all right.

✧ Tells you how much the others like you, especially if those around you are a bit tough about it. Balin hears and sees a lot more in his position so he is quick to reassure you.

✧ “Let me get one last look at you before I go- that’s all the energy I need.”

✧ Balin loves to hear your voice, so his guilty pleasure is asking you to read to him whenever you get a moment’s peace- please indulge him, he’ll be so relaxed and content!

Dwalin

✧ Acts like he's just going along with your ideas or whims, but in reality you're wrapped around his finger and he'll do anything for you, not to mention go anywhere so he can ensure you're protected. The way he always makes jokes for you and shows off in your presence may make it easier to tell how he feels!

✧ Offers you a drink at any opportunity, bringing you a mug or glass of whatever you prefer most, even if it’s just water.

✧ Playfully spars with you if you’re game, complimenting your form and encouraging you to try more daring moves.

✧ Does anything in his power to make you comfortable and stand up for you. The log you’re sitting on is uncomfortable? He stands right up then and there to carve it down. If he sees an orc get a strike in on you you’ll know who’d getting beheaded next.

✧ Laughs at jokes he wouldn’t normally, like if the others tease him Dwalin will probably smack them or snark back, but if you say it he’ll just laugh and roll his eyes, maybe lightly elbow you.

✧ I’m pretty sure it’s both book and movie canon that this man dwarf plays the violin??? So you know he is going to whip it out to impress you! And maybe it’ll make for an excuse to dance and sing together too!

Thorin

✧ Thorin is the sort to orchestrate his entire romance to a T, so you will not be able to decipher his intentions until the exact moment he plans to tell you, and that will take some time getting to know and trust you.

✧ Always moves you behind him when danger strikes, readying himself in a moment to stand in and defend you. If you've been separated, you're the first person he seeks to check on.

✧ “Give me your hand.” Anytime the terrain is rough or you could fall, Thorin takes your hand in his to gently but firmly guide you over/across it.

✧ It’s hard sometimes to defer to others especially with all the pressure of being king, but Thorin is intentionally very considerate with you, asking for your input and following your counsel.

✧ Drapes his coat over your shoulders if he sees you looking cold, his hands lingering a bit longer than necessary…

✧ Rather than tell his story, Thorin prefers to ask yours- he wants to know where you came from and why you care about the things you do. If nothing else he craves a feeling of understanding passing between you two, a deeper relation and connection. He’s not afraid to ask deep questions like if what legacy would you most like to leave behind or the most important character trait in your eyes because his partner needs to share his values and be comfortable with deep discussions.

Oin

✧ His biggest tell is the way he dials up the gentleman act for you and only you, behaving so much more politely and attentively.

✧ Sometimes people don’t take the time to have conversations with him due to his hearing difficulties, so he makes sure to be extremely attentive and show his appreciation whenever you talk to him. Expressive listening and reactions are his specialty!

✧ Having skills as a healer, Oin does anything in his area of expertise to ease your travels, whether it’s pain relief, soothing oils for your muscles, steam treatments for your breathing, etc.

✧ He knows a lot of games, too, so if you’d like Oin would love to sit down and teach you some. If you ever look bored or down he will approach you with cards or dice in hand asking if you’d like to while away some time or thoughts.

✧ In turn, any hobby you have is something he’d be eager to learn about. You like to see? Show him how! You paint? Well, what do you make your paints out of? He wants to find a way to support your joys.

✧ Does silly things behind the others’ backs when only you can see, making fun of them or just shaking his head no if they give bad advice. Acts completely innocent even if they catch you laughing.

Gloin

✧ The ability to speak one's intent and feelings clearly, perhaps even with a bit of poetry, definitely runs in his family 😌 He will pay you the best compliments you've ever heard, leaving you to wonder what wheels are turning in his mind as he speaks them.

✧ Unafraid of telling you how nice your outfit looks on you whether it’s the color or the fit or, as is most likely, both! Tells you, in fact, that you’re more beautiful than any gem he’s ever seen.

✧ Teaches you how to play all his favorite tavern games! Subsequently always asks for you to be his partner at them.

✧ “Oh, you’ve got a little…” Extending a hand, he gently removes a small leaf from your hair, gently brushing it back into place.

✧ Won’t give the others the time of day if you’re talking to him. “Can’t you see I’m talking to them and not you?”

✧ Becomes your designated lifter of heavy objects and opener of difficult things, flexing as he tells you that pretty much everyone comes to him for it (even if it isn’t true) ����

Bifur

✧ Absolutely becomes a showoff whenever he sees you, especially when he's sparring. You're like an energy of your own, bringing him new vigor and passion to overtake his enemy before he flashes you a smile. It's fairly obvious what he's doing, but you can't deny its effectiveness.

✧ Gets you familiar with his signs so he can spill the tea about the others when they aren’t looking 👀

✧ Elbows you lightly to get your attention, then waves at you or wiggles his eyebrows teasingly when you peer at him.

✧ Strings together some beads he has on hand along with some pretty rocks that he found to make you a little necklace or bracelet! Looks so proud as he holds it up for you too 🥺

✧ Gives it his all in every fight where you’re in harm’s way too because it’s not just about him making it out anymore.

✧ Sharpens your weapons for you without you even having to ask 😌

Bofur

✧ Bofur is incredibly sweet around the one who draws his attention, always smiling when you look his way and address him and always laughing at your jokes. His actions could be seen as just friendly but he's incredibly generous and giving around you which is a bit of a tell.

✧ Starts breaking touch barriers! Just with little things like resting a hand on your shoulder as he teases you or expresses sympathy, offering a helping hand to stand back up, or taking your hand or wrist to look at your jewelry.

✧ Yours is the first hand he reaches for when Bofur starts up a song and dance. He holds you so gently but twirls you so eagerly, a smile on his face for you the whole time!

✧ Hype man. Believes in you like it’s a given- of course you look amazing, go on, you can do it, don’t be scared, they’ll love it. In his words, “Don’t dull that great shine you’ve got.”

✧ Sharing little running jokes is his favorite. Whether you two were the only ones to catch another company member say something ridiculous or Bofur was the one you shared a certain story or fact with, he loves those little points of connection and will never let them die.

✧ Loves to take care of you, so when you’re seated together at meals he’ll load your plate and pour your drink for you- you won’t have to do a single thing but enjoy your time!

Bombur

✧ Such a quiet sweetheart! You may not be able to tell he likes you because he's so subtle with his little gifts and waves sent your way, but he's always asking about you and trying to show he cares.

✧ Lets you sneak tastes of whatever he’s making even though he’d usually smack their hand away 🥰 Also he always serves you first at the end of the day and gives you the best bit of whatever he's made! And if you're a lady, he always says “ladies first” with the sweetest smile ☺️

✧ The absolute best if you get anxiety, like he will learn exactly what is best to do for you whether it’s breathing, words, serving as a living weighted blanket for you, a phrase or sensory experience, you name it! He just wants to see you smile again 🥺

✧ Quietly leaves you flowers by your bedroll when you aren’t around, just little surprises to bring a smile to your face at day’s end.

✧ Bombur has the most hilarious theories about how he thinks he can predict the weather, so rather than have you ask Gandalf he’ll explain them all in depth until you’ve got stitches in your sides from laughing.

✧ If you break touch barriers, expect the most shocked, happy :o face from him followed by a smile that slowly grows more and more lovestruck.

Dori

✧ Another case of 'could be interpreted as friendly', Dori practically fawns over you to make sure you're comfortable and have everything you need, but because he's a big brother it can come across like his natural sibling instinct.

✧ Anyone who bothers you gets the biggest scolding of their life- watch out!

✧ Making tea is his love/connection language. He'll offer to make you a cuppa if you're cold, stressed, need some energy, you name it and he'll do it for you!

✧ Practically shushes everyone to get your opinion when a ruckus emerges over some company decision or another, making some creative excuse why you have sway over it.

✧ Dori is definitely the sort to always check in and make sure you ate and got a drink too, always getting certain you’re keeping up your strength and care for yourself.

✧ Invites you to take walks with him when he wants fresh air and time away from his brothers, just the two of you enjoying nature and some one-on-one chatting and laughter.

Nori

✧ Shameless flirt! You'll know by the way his eyes travel up and down, by the way he smiles and approaches you, by his complete and utter lack of fear in complimenting and teasing you.

✧ Probably hits you with a pickup line as one of your first interactions, seeing you and immediately stepping in with the 'what's someone like you doing in a place like this'.

✧ Naturally he always volunteers to pair up with you on watches or lookout duty…just to make sure you’re safe, you know!

✧ Tells maybe, just possibly, exaggerated stories of his feats of heroism…or just gambling, whichever.

✧ One hundred percent the one who tries the old ‘yawn and put your arm around them’ trick one night by the fire or on watch.

✧ If his exploration leads him somewhere interesting you’re the first one he’ll be pulling over to check it out with him, pride written all over his face at your amazed reaction!

Ori

✧ He's so shy and polite around you that you can't help but wonder if his flustered state and smiles are connected to you. He also gets clumsier, suddenly walking into things and dropping them. What can be said, you just have an effect on him 😉

✧ Always points out animals he sees on your travels because he knows you like looking at them. Will sketch you pictures of your favorites so you can carry them with you!

✧ “Ooh, ooh! Sit with me!” *proceeds to not know what to say or do with himself once you get there*

✧ Knits for you, whether you request a scarf or gloves or a hat Ori will make it for you. “Here. This’ll keep you nice and warm,” he tells you as he passes it over, smiling sweetly as your hands brush.

✧ Tries to replicate anyone else’s feats. Fili threw a knife and hit a bullseye? Well watch this. Bifur balanced three bowls on his head? Care to see Ori do four? And if he doesn’t, please don’t laugh too much!

✧ Asks your favorite everything, like what flower you like the best, what meal you enjoy most, what’s your favorite color. Your favorite flower will forever make Ori think of you, and in fact it becomes his muse. He dedicated two whole pages to pressing and sketching them, one for him to keep and one for you!

Fili

✧ Epitome of 'if he teases you, he likes you'. Always shooting you jokes and smoothly grabbing your attention to show you things. Fili just gets a twinkle in his eye around you and his behavior clues you in.

✧ Teaches you the best way to throw knives, standing behind you to help you get the best angle 😏 asks if you’d like to give a name to the one you do the best with!

✧ Such a great listener. Goes full-on chin in hand just watching your animation intently, nodding and smiling as you speak.

✧ Struggle with something in Fili’s sight and you’ll never lift a finger at it again. He swoops right in to help you, always reassuring you it’s no big deal at all.

✧ Opens his arms immediately if you’re stressed or grieving, offering a warm, comforting embrace. He gives amazing hugs, too, a hand sliding soothingly up and down your back as he pulls you in.

✧ Trips and falls in front of you, but saves it by saying he lost his footing because you were so stunning 💁🏻‍♀️

Kili

✧ If he teases you he likes you part two. He also shamelessly flirts by winking at you and doing anything in his power to hear you laugh, so you'll be able to see what's up pretty quickly.

✧ He has a habit of taking things to see if you notice, just small things like if you leave your comb sitting out or lay down your weapon to go talk to someone, he'll snatch it up and hold onto it to see how long it takes! "Just keeping it warm for you ;)"

✧ Takes it upon himself to teach you archery or help you practice, making lots of corrections to your stance, especially with guiding hands on your hips 👀

✧ One night Kili has a coin perched on his hand. “Heads or tails?” You call your guess, and as luck you call it correctly. “Well, that means you get to sit with me tonight,” Kili replies with a wink.

✧ If you don’t mind it, he’ll probably end up giving you some sort of nickname, whether it’s based on some sort of inside joke or just something you like or remind him of.

✧ Conversations he’s involved in quickly involve you, too, as Kili can find a reason to think of you amidst even the most mundane topics.

Bilbo

✧ He isn't flustered around you, but he behaves with a certain awkward consternation that you wonder at. If you have a tougher time reading others like me, you might think he's just plain studying you, confused even, but in truth he is hyperfocusing on every little part of your interactions!

✧ The type to always stick by you, making sure he's the one seated next to you at mealtimes and placed next to you at the campfire.

✧ “Perhaps we ought to hold hands? Just to keep together. After all, it’s quite crowded out here.”

✧ Being introverted as he is, a big sign of Bilbo’s care for you is the way he approaches your time together- even at the end of the day he will still come to you, making it clear time together with you recharges. It equates to ‘me time’, which is big for him.

✧ Asks a lot of questions about your home, the cultures you come from and languages you speak. Bookish as he is, Bilbo will undertake learning your other language(s) and trying to bring pieces of your home right to you!

✧ “So, have you ever… you know, thought about settling down someday? After all this is over.”

[genderkoolaid]

hey i’m sorry to bother you but what are some warning signs that someone is a terf? i would very much like to be out as gender-fluid at my small town southern school (surprisingly supportive) but the school nurse had that “fallen sisters” book on her desk :( i don’t want to put myself in danger and i don’t know if she was reading it because she’s a terf or because she was curious about what was in it. thank you for your time!

Quick note: a lot of transphobes are not TERFs; they don't subscribe to the movement of radical feminism. But especially right now TERF ideas have become more widespread, since a lot of transphobic people turned to TERF speakers and authors for support. But that's also because a lot of TERF ideas meld very nicely with traditional patriarchal ideas (like the idea that the gender binary is required for safety of women). Things like "trans men are manipulated girls suffering from misogyny!" has gotten really popular recently, but in the past your average transphobe would probably be thinking more along the lines of "huh what a freaky dyke" than assuming it's the patriarchy's fault trans men exist.

Anyways! That's all to say that someone might use transphobic or radical feminist rhetoric without being a radical feminist themselves. Here are some things to watch out for:

Use of "female" and "male"; in medical contexts I tend to give people more grace, but if she's really insistent on sex language that's a red flag.

Highly concerned with pushing womanhood on students AFAB; if they're a TERF this is less likely to look like "pink and bows" and more likely focus on Female Power, uteri and menstruation, and identity with womanhood as a feminist act itself. Comments like "remember you can dress/act however you want and still be a woman!" can be well-meaning but they can also be a subtle way of trying to prevent GNC students from thinking about transitioning.

Fearmongering about the effects of HRT (especially T); educating about all possible effects is important, but if she focuses on negative effects, treats them as horrifying or more dangerous/common then they actually are, that's a red flag. Especially when it's tied to reproductive ability. Same when it comes to surgeries.

If she believes ROGD (rapid onset gender dysphoria) is a real thing, she's transphobic. If she doesn't use that term she might talk about transness/transmasculinity being a social contagion or trend, something young girls are pressured into (esp. by misogyny/lesbophobia), even if this is dressed up with "obviously SOME trans people are real but there's just too many now!!"

Of course, any kind of weirdness around trans people in locker rooms/bathrooms is a major red flag

If she does end up being transphobic, since you mentioned your school is supportive you might be able to tell the admins about that and have them back you up. If there are other trans people at your school, definitely ask them if they've noticed any transphobic behavior from her (you can ask cis folks too although they may be less aware of what subtler transphobia sounds like)

[witchofthesouls]

I like thinking about humans-into-Cybertronians because of the weird, alien fuckery along with ex-humans making connections to certain things because it's the closest approximation they have.

Imagine if 'running on fumes' is a literal statement among Cybertronians. As their tanks run near empty, there's a petroleum-like taste that lingers in their sinuses and, if left long enough, cycles out of their vents. That's why Cybertronians typically don't like hanging around gas stations because it's a really stark reminder of long-term starvation. Meanwhile, you got an ex-human going like, "Man, I'm starting to taste gas, so I need gas. Huh, y'all have built-in reminders to feed yourself outside of hunger pains? That's neat."

As well as the ex-humans misdiagnosing themselves. Let's take Cybertronian carriage. Humans are used to a pregnancy that completes its course in a designated organ (aka womb), so finding out a mecha had straight up knocked them up that bypassed the initial spark-to-spark teether formation wouldn't freak them out in the ways that a lot of Cybertronians would be really concerned about. Especially the medics and said partner(s).

Ex-human crying over the sonogram because they got told it's a very high-risk pregnancy and all they see is the coming baby is very deformed since it's only a ball within a ball of green soup and silver tendrils. Partner is highly confused yet attempts comforting in varying levels of success.

Cybertronian medic needs to explain that the sparklet is healthy, but ex-human really needs to watch themselves because the entire process will be done within the gestational chamber and goes deep into explaining the complications that can happen.

Partner is absolutely riveted by all the gravity of the matter since the strain of having a full-carriage that initialized in the chamber can put the carrier in danger as there can be coding conflicting with priorities that rends said carrier unconscious or wrecks health complications, especially since there's a high-chance of the newspark not fully detaching from their carrier's spark as the dropping process ensures.

Ex-human that comes from a species where a pregnancy is like getting into a moderate crash, so damage varies each time is happy that they haven't fucked up badly yet and can plan a baby shower. "By the way, when's the due date?"

Medic: "Hard to say with the carriage combined, but it's more in the primary initialization stage. The sparklet's still has a visible, if a bit thin, teether to your spark, and a solid mass hasn't formed yet."

Ex-human: "Okay, so how long?"Medic says incomprehensible length of time for an Earth child and how it can vary.

*Confused ex-human noises over the several human lifetimes is the equivalent of a span to a Cybertronian carriage. And how multiple factors can impact the timeframe.*

*Confused Medic noises out of sheer concern over ex-human's family history, especially over the fact they have extremely and highly dangerously short carriages.*

*Confused partner noises on why their love wants to plan a bathtime for the newspark at this moment, and wonders if ex-human knows that water and infant Cybertronians do not mix.*

Or, another thing. What if the dropping process where the sparklet detaches from the carrier's spark to descend into the gestational chamber below to build its frame has very 'classic'** heart symptoms in a human body?

(** Quick heads up, much of human biology and modern medical understanding derives from male biology. Unfortunately, women usually see atypical symptoms that are more subtle, moderate rather than severe pain/discomfort, or pain in other other locations rather than the chest.)

Ex-human has sudden, excruciatingly chest pain, insides literally quivering and shifting in sync with the bursts. Meanwhile, everyone around them is calm, trying to soothe them, and they think they're honestly dying so fast because there's no rush to the nearby hospital, and everyone is pushing comfort-it's okay-we got you at them.

[evillemons]

WHAT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOONGI WOULD BE LIKE (SUGA pt. 2)

~ based on his ideal type as described in part 1, continued into part 3. Masterlist here.

• I think it would take Yoongi a long time to fall for someone and feel fully comfortable with them, but once he does, he would be upfront and honest about it.

• Yoongi would let his girlfriend be incredibly independent, but he would be very protective in terms of her safety and health. He would always make sure she has food to eat and caution her against unsafe or suspicious situations.

• Their relationship would be built on mutual respect. Yoongi has a lot of respect for people in general and I think this is a quality she would admire about him.

• There would definitely not be a lot of PDA, but they might enjoy wearing matching clothes and holding hands.

• In private, I think he would show an extremely loving and affectionate side to her and her only. He is so cute and soft despite how much he denies it.

• That boy is definitely a cuddler when no one else is around. They would make dates just to take naps.

• I feel like he would secretly love to be coddled (but would never admit it) and would try to get her attention by putting his head on her lap or by being pouty.

• He would not say "i love you" a lot but rather show his love in a lot of subtle, but thoughtful ways, like making sure she takes her meds on time, wearing the shirt she got him on a date, playing the piano to help her fall asleep, bringing her the food she craves during her period.

• Definitely the type of guy to nonchalantly walk in on her showering to get something/pee. Would still check her out but his expressions would reveal nothing. Would also run her a bubble bath and sit next to her while telling each other about their days.

• They would love to spend their evenings cuddling, eating takeout, watching tv, and occasionally drinking.

• They would often cook together too.

• As an extrovert, she likes to go out and socialize quite a bit more than he does, but he has no problem with this. He utilizes that time to recharge alone and work on music.

• She would try to get his attention while he’s working by sitting on his lap and kissing his neck; he would be completely unbothered.

• They would still go on occasional dates to casual places (especially places with good food), and she would encourage him to try things he normally wouldn’t.

• Yoongi would love to take her on road trips or long car rides to listen to music and enjoy each other’s company.

• They might enjoy little architectural activities like building lego's on rainy days.

• While neither of them would be clingy in the slightest, these two would be inseparable and undyingly loyal.

• Her bubbliness would liven his mood every time he sees her. (think of the way his energy is refilled around Hobi).

• If she had a bad day, he would drop everything and put his full attention on her. He would hug her, listen to her problems, and cook her favorite meal. He would spend all evening with her and do everything in attempt to cheer her up.

• He would feel inspired by her and write songs about her, although he would never reveal them to anyone.

• I don’t see Yoongi being the jealous or possessive type in the slightest, especially since she can take care of herself. But, he might get angry if someone pushes her boundaries too far or is straight up disrespectful (god forbid Agust D comes out).

• If she didn’t already know about his celebrity status, she would’ve never guessed it due to his laid back and humble demeanor. It wouldn’t make a difference to her regardless.

• They would never reveal their relationship to the public, which would not be difficult considering it is rare for them to attend any major events or be in crowded spaces.

• He would not be much of a gift giver, but would love to feel helpful in the form of fixing things for her or taking care of her when she’s sick.

• They would be a truly wholesome, healthy, and non-problematic couple.

[thekingofwinterblog]

The Importance of Banter: Varric Tethras

So one of the more interesting takes I've gotten on my breakdowns of Dragon Age characters is the argument that Varric in terms of character development is one of the lesser characters in the game.

He stays the same, doesn't change much from beginning to end, and while enjoyable, his inclusion doesn't add nearly as much as some of the other characters in the game, and relies way too much on the goodwill from da2 to do most of the legwork for his inclusion in the game.

Now this isn't an argument without merit, I might agree a lot with this take... If it wasn't for the inclusion of one Dragon Age's staples, and one of the aspects that Inquisition arguably does better than ether ADO or DA2.

Character Banter.

Character Banter is extremely important because it gives us an insight into how characters think, how they interact, and showcases the more subtle elements that aren't always on display in the game itself.

Compared to the rest of the Characters, Varric is a bit different in that because he was a companion in the previous game, we can see how he's changed since the previous game.

Cassandra Pentaghast

So it's not an exaggeration to say that Cassandra and Varric has what is easily the most dynamic relationahip between any of the companions, having far and away the most interactions together out of party(And thats not even including the fact that all of DA2 is technically them talking to each other.

And this is reflected in their banter as well, where the two of them go back and forth like a married couple.

The thing that most be understood about Cassandra and Varric's banter though, is the fact that Varric is way, way smarter than Cassandra, who isn't dumb, but is not a genius by any stretch, which is reflected in the Dwarf's tendency to run rings around her all the time.

Cassandra: Have you heard from any of your Kirkwall associates Varric?

Varric: You're asking me? So you don't read my letters?

Cassandra: You're no longer my prisoner, much as you like to act like it.

Varric: Yet I still get all the suspicion.

Cassandra: I am not without sympathy, especially given recent events.

Varric: Why, Seeker, I would never accuse you of having sympathy! By the way I tend to refer to my "associates" as "friends". Maybe you're not familiar with the concept.

Cassandra: (sigh)

---

Varric: You know, Seeker, for someone with your tact and charisma you assembled a... pretty good little Inquisition. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you didn't drag them all here by force.

Cassandra: How kind of you.

Varric: I mean, you never know, you could have kidnapped Ruffles and she'd be too polite to say anything.

Cassandra: Leliana recruited Josephine. They're... friends.

Varric: So there's a rational explanation after all. Just when I thought you had layers.

---

Varric: It makes sense that Leliana did the recruiting when the Inquisition started. Not everyone can be intimidated into signing up after all.

Cassandra: I recruited Commander Cullen.

Varric: Lucky him.

Cassandra: He has made no complaints about my manners.

Varric: His last boss was a raving lunatic who turned into a statue. That's not a high bar.

All of these three bits of banter is from early in their shared chain, and illustrates their dynamic very, very well. Varric reads Cassandra like an open book, and is able to completely take control over a situation just by playing the role of the ass who is just sniping at her because he feels like it, when what he's actually doing is maneuvering the conversation so it can end on him having the last words by playing on the things Cassandra knows she cannot refute without lying.

That takes a lot of sponanous wit and an ability to think on the spot, something cassandra does not possess, but Varric has in plenty.

Of course this dynamic is only at the start as they have plenty more as the story develops. One innparticular is their relationship regarding Varric's liturature, which is one of the more entertaining side quests in the game, but it does tell us more about them in the followup banter.

Varric: Seriously? Swords and Shields? How did you find that serial? Scrape it off the bottom of a barrel in Dust Town?

Cassandra: It was research! I thought I might learn more about the Champion.

Varric: I did write a book about the Champion. You might remember it. Had your knife stuck through it last I saw.

Cassandra: I already read that one. Twice.

Here we learn how much Cassandra actually loves to read Varric's work, but more importantly we get something we rarely see in Varric. Him talking about his own failures.

Varric likes to pretend he's this amazing writer who always produce masterpieces, as he himself says to Bianca, as if he'd write about his own failures and mistakes...

And yet there is swords and shields, a book that Varric has deemed an abyssmal failure. A joke, a mediocre piece of trash not worth the paper it was printed on... And yet it has it's fans. This work that varric despises still managed to find an audience, and despite how much satisfaction he had smugly giving it to Cassandra, that still grinds his gears.

People shouldn't like his bad work. It should be forgotten in favor of his masterpieces. A very dwarven way of thinking.

Varric: I can't believe you picked the absolute worst of my books to read. Why not Hard in Hightown?

Cassandra: I have enough mysteries and investigations of my own.

Varric: What? You don't want to solve more in your spare time?

Cassandra: Then you killed my favorite character in Chapter 3, so I threw the book across the room.

Varric: Ah, a critic. Say no more.

In this one, we get Varric both genuinely questioning Cassandra, as he seems to have assumed she actually does like investigating mysteries(she does not), but also tries to nudge her over to read High in Hightown instead.

Cassandra: Varric, how could you let the Knight-Captain be framed for murder?

Varric: Well, I did spent three entire chapters setting it up.

Cassandra: But she didn't deserve it! You'd already put her through more than enough!

Varric: Look, Seeker, if you love a character, you give them pain, ruin their lives, make them suffer. Maybe even throw in a heroic death.

Cassandra: That makes no sense!

Varric: You care enough to argue. If she had a nice afternoon and took a nap, you'd stop reading.

I could deconstruct this, but basically it's just a bit of meta commentary on what makes a good story. Not only will it not be the last, but it's not even the most blatant. After all, this one could apply to other people besides Hawke.

Cassandra: What made you write about Hawke? All your other books are complete fiction.

Varric: Someone had to set the record straight about the Champion.

Cassandra: Yet your book is still full of lies.

Varric: But true ones. That's important.

Varric loves stories... But he understands what stories are at their heart. The difference between a Recounting, and a Tale. That's what history is after all, the Tales everyone passed down.

And what good tale doesn't have a bit of exaggerated bullshit?

Cassandra: Why is the second Hard in Hightown so completely different from the first?

Varric: (sigh) Because I didn't write it. Shit, did you pay actual coin for that book? One of these days, I'm going to find the duster who wrote that garbage and introduce him to my editor.

Cassandra: By "editor," do you mean your crossbow?

Varric: No, my actual editor. Best in the business. She runs half the Coterie in Kirkwall. Stickler for grammar. She once killed a man over a semicolon. I'd never print anything without her.

This one is more meta commentary, but it does have a bit more meat to it. Varric's whole spiel about his editor being super powerful in the Coterie could be the truth, it could be complete bullshit. Or it could be something in between.

That's not the important part. The important part is that he wants Cassandra to guess, to assume, to speculate, because that is far more powerful than just laying it all out could ever be.

Cole: She has to reach the other side of the hill.

Cassandra: Who does?

Cole: The Knight-Captain. But she's injured.

Varric: (sigh) Good job, Kid.

Cassandra: Is she alright? Is that how the book ends?

Varric: Not anymore.

Cassandra: Cole, what happens to her?

Cole: I don't know. The hill went away.

So here we see that Varric is one of THOSE authors. You know the kind, the ones who will rewrite an entire storyline because the big twists was leaked ahead of time.

It's not that important in the grand scheme of things, but it's interesting how through the game we see a very consistent picture of how Varric likes to write. He's a gardner variety writer, but unlike GRRM he's not the kind thst sticks to what he had in mind and sets up if the big twist is learned before it's finished.

As for His banter with Cassandra related to Hawke, it's entertaining, but not exactly that enlightening. Except for one.

If you chose in DA2 to save carver or Bethany by making them grey wardens, you get this bit when Cassandra Questions him about them.

Varric: Aveline took him off somewhere when the Calling started going nuts, but he'll tag along. He always does.

Varric: Aveline took her off somewhere when the Calling started going nuts, but she'll try to keep Hawke out of trouble.

Cassandra misses the obvious, but you probably didn't.

Varric knew about the calling from the start. Oh he didn't know the details, and he didn't know why... But he knew there was something up with the calling from the very start, and probably figured out this was the key reason from day one.

And he didn't share it. At all.

That speaks volumes of where his true loyalties lies, and it's something a lot of people miss.

Cassandra is right. Varric's heart will never truly belong to the Inquisition so long as Hawke and his Kirkwall friends exists outside of it.

There is also a turning point in their conversations, starting around the point where Varric's personal quest with Bianca happened.

Cassandra: Am I to understand your Bianca is married?

Varric: Oh, have we reached the stage where we gossip about each other's love lives?

Varric: Did you hear that, boss? Don't worry, I'll tell you whatever she says.

Cassandra: Forget I mentioned anything. It was a simple question, Varric.

Varric: There was nothing simple about it.

Varric actually blatantly questions wheter they've reached the point where they are now talking about each others love with each other. The truth is though, they actually have.

Varric: You brought up Bianca, Seeker. Does that mean I can ask about your conquests?

Cassandra: I would rather you didn't.

Varric: No tantalizing secrets to divulge?

Cassandra: None.

(If the Inquisitor is in a relationship with Cassandra)

Varric: So no one within, say, a five foot radius has caught your eye?

Inquisitor: Really? No one at all?

Cassandra: This... is not a discussion I want to have here.

Varric: (laughs) Are you blushing, Seeker? Maker, the world really is coming to an end.

Or

Inquisitor: Perhaps Cassandra—and her conquest—would rather not discuss this in public.

Varric: Spoilsport.

Or

Varric: Nothing? You do know he's standing right there...

Cassandra: I... have no conquests.

Varric: How about dalliances? Liaisons? Illicit affairs?

Cassandra: No.

Sera: Enough poking, Varric.

Varric: Is it, Buttercup? Is it?

It a rather humorous affair, but it does show that Varric at this point is comfortable prodding Cassandra's love life, figuring out how far he can push.

Which speaks for itself at how close these two have gotten at this point.

Cassandra: Very well, Varric. If you wish to know about men I have known, I will tell you.

Varric: Look, Seeker. I was only...

Cassandra: You are right. I pried first, and fair is fair. Years ago, I knew a young mage named Regalyan. He was dashing, unlike any man I'd met. He died at the Conclave.

Varric: Oh.

Cassandra: What we had was fleeting. And years had passed. Still, it saddens me to think he's gone.

Varric: I'm sorry.

Nothing to add here, just that Varric sorta gets sad when he realizes that was friendly prodding touched a very bitter and sad point from Cassandra's pain.

For which he apologizes.

Varric: Look, Seeker, I didn't mean to make you talk about your mage friend.

Cassandra: I know. I was not trying to make you speak of Bianca. If I was, you would know. I would yell, books would be stabbed.

Varric: (Chuckles.) I'll keep that in mind.

Also as the game reaches the end section, Varric and Cassandra begin to really banter in a much more friendly way.

Cassandra: I still don't understand how drakes take that hand.

Varric: ...Hmm. Maybe we should start you on Shepherd's Six.

Cassandra: Isn't that a children's game?

Varric: Yeah.

When trying to teach Cassandra card games at this point in the story, Varric has the perfect set up for a punchline like he did in the early game, but he doesn't use it, because he isn't mocking cassandra here, he's genuinely trying to teach her how to play cards.

And so he suggest starting her off with something simple, like a card game for children, cause he understands thats where she has to start at her level.

There are plenty more, but most of it is just well written, engaging or funny back and forths. But before moving on, i wanna highlight two of them.

Varric: Did you really think the Conclave had a chance of making peace, Seeker?

Cassandra: You do not?

Varric: What was the Divine's plan? Bring everyone together and hope really hard that they would all get along?

Cassandra: Most Holy did not confide her plan to me. Perhaps she thought they were tired of death and conflict.

Varric: Oh, when is that ever been true? For Templars or mages.

Cassandra: I will not mock a dead woman, Varric. She did what she could, and that is more than most.

This conversation is very important for one simple reason. It showcases how much Varric has changed since DA2. Varric used to be one of the big believers in compromise in that game. He didn't come out and say it out right, because in that game the Templar far and away were the more evil faction, and so there was way more chances for Varric to stick up for mages, but Varric really, REALLY didn't want the mages and Templars to go to war.

He had so many friends in both factions, friends he knew would die if it ever did come to true blows.

I would say that varric was probably the best example of what neutrality in such a situation should have been. Someone who is neutral because he understood thst fundamentally, both sides even at their worst, were people. Not demons, not monsters, but human beings or elves. But unlike many others who clamor for neutrality, Varric wasn't stuck up his own ass about it.

If he saw one side go over the ljne, regardless of which it was, he would not just stand by wheter it was power hungry necromantic blood mages, or Templars like Ser Alrik.

But here, he mocks the very idea of neutrality. He has completely given up on it, and he's accepted that the only solution here, is for one side or the other will have to decisively crush the opposition.

Of course he doesnt come out and say it like that, but that's the message to take away here. So long as there is a templar or mage on the field, this war will continue. He doesn't like that fact, but he has accepted it.

Cassandra: I hear reconstruction is progressing well in Kirkwall.

Varric: I know things are bad there.

Cassandra: I wasn't trying to...

Varric: You weren't trying to remind me how bad is it in Kirkwall? So you decided to talk about it?

Cassandra: About its recovery!

Varric: What you're talking about are the buildings, and even that will take years. People don't recover so easily.

Kirkwall, that is to say, the Kirkwall Varric was born in, grew up in, and spent the happiest years of his life(When he was running there with Hawke), is dead and gone, and never coming back.

He is never getting it back.

Which will be very important for the next companion's banter.

Blackwall

Blackwall is different than the rest of the crew in that he's utterly reliant on the Banter to have any sort of presence. He has no charisma in the actual game, but he does showcase a much more entertaining character in banter.

In regards to Varric though, his mian purpose is to showcase aspects of Varric we don't often see.

One of the most important comes very, very early into their relationship.

Blackwall: I once met a dwarf who made the best home-brewed ale.

Varric: I once met a Grey Warden who got possessed by a spirit and then blew up a Chantry and killed a hundred people. What makes people think you want to hear what others of "your kind" have done, anyway?

This is a moment that is:

1. Very uncharacteristic of Varric, who usually loves talking about other people if he gets any excuse to do so, and will be demonstrated in a very similar moment in his banter with the Iron Bull, only with a different reaction.

2. It's here to showcase Varric's hatred for Anders. Other than Sebastian, Varric misses pretty much the entire DA2 cast, his true best friends... Except for Anders.

Varric LOATHES Anders for his actions, for kickstarting the Mage Templar War and getting lots of his friends killed, but also for destroying his home and making his own worst fear come true.

Varric's biggest fear as shown in the fade is becoming his parents... And that's exactly what he has become in DAI. The depressed exile from a home city that he can never return to, and if he does, it won't be the same life they miss so dearly. Varric misses Kirkwall. He misses it's people, the Hanged man, and always thinking back on the glory days of his life.

And he misses Hawke.

All lost to him and never coming back, all thanks to Anders. Varric can never return back to that time, that place, that era, that friend group that was the highpoint of Varric's life, because the city of Champion Hawke and Varric the sidekick is as dead and gone as his parents.

The hanged man will never be the same, Hawke will never be the revered Hero they were after act 2, and every single one of the countless friends that Varric misses will not come back.

And so he hates Anders with a level of hatred he reserves for very, very few people.

The rest of Varric's starting relationship with Blackwall is about him trying to figure out what makes him tick, innitially pegging him as another Sebastian. Boring, safe, droll.

He also has more banter where he shows how depressed he actually is about Kirkwall.

Blackwall: I've been to Kirkwall. The Hanged Man, actually, probably been twenty years now. It was a dive if I remember correctly.

Varric: It's the dive. Filled with the best and worst people in the world.

Blackwall: Yes, I heard it was a haunt of yours.

Varric: Haunt? It was home.

He finally clicks with Blackwall, as they get into a shared passion nobody else in the party has. Jousting. The sport consistent of knocking people of horses with pointy sticks.

As a Free Marcher Varric has grown up with the Grand Tourney as a focal point of his identity, and loves the sport, so he and Blackwall bonds and argues over the sport, with the most notable part being their disagreements over who is the better jousting knight, where he also gives his own cents in the form of a meta commentary between who is the better protagonist, the Hero of Ferelden or Hawke.

Blackwall: You can't really think Reeve Asa is a better knight than Honorine Chastain. Her record's flawless. Four hundred jousts, never unseated. No one's ever come close to it.

Varric: Oh, she's easily the most skilled. That's a fact. It's just "scrappy" is better than "flawless." I like heroes who try their damnedest, even if they fail a lot. It's easy to be valiant when you always win and everything goes your way. There's nothing great in that.

The rather unsubtle meta message here, is comparing the protagonists of the first games.

The warden is the stronger, more skilled and more competent protagonist who ultimately always triumphed, changed the world, and became heralded far and wide as the greatest hero of her age.

Meanwhile Hawke is the scrappy underdog hero who always gets back on their feet regardless of how hard they fall, and never actually suceeds in anything. Hawke is a failure Hero who couldn't save their mother, their city, at least one of their siblings, maybe two, Ketojan, couldn't prevent the Qunari attack, and constantly failed to save the day through DA2.

Now i don't really agree with this rather simplistic reading of the Warden, but it's a good scene, because it shows that Varric is more than capable of overlooking all the work, effort and time it takes to produce a "perfect" result, as well as show that Varric has a very hard preference for underdogs, and the stories they produce.

Which leads into his reaction when Blackwall confesses his sins.

Varric: Maybe I've been too hard on you.

Blackwall: Oh, so you don't think I'm dreadful now.

Varric: Actually, I thought you were boring before. Completely different. We're all dreadful. Every one of us, fundamentally flawed in a hundred different ways. That's why we're here, isn't it? Take all the risks, so the good people stay home where it's safe. With the whole "Blackwall" thing, you told a story so compelling even you started to believe it.

Blackwall: That's much nicer than saying "You're a dirty liar.", I'll take it.

Varric: A story-teller's got to believe his own story, or no one will.

Here we can gleam a sad fact. Varric very pointedly notes "we're all dreadfull", as Us, as in, him included.

Varric doesn't really consider himself a good person anymore, if he ever did.

It's not like the Varric of Yesteryear considered hinself a saint or some knight in shining armor, but there was a sense that he was happy with himself during that game, in a way he is not in DAI.

Something has changed, and that something is guilt over unleashing the red lyrium on the world, and probably guilt over killing his own friends.

It's not really focused on as much as it should be, but Varric had plenty of friends amongst both the mages and Templars... Which meant that when Anders blew up the chantry, regardless of which side you picked, Varric was forced to kill people who genuinely mattered to him.

Hence why he's so quick to forgive Blackwall for his lies.

For the most part this generally manifests itself in regards to Red Lyrium, which he blames himself for bringing into the world. I would argue that the more subtle parts you get to see in Banter though, is far, far more interesting and better told than the stuff in the main quest.

Because despite his flaws he "takes all the risks, so the good people won't have to.", just like Varric and Hawke.

This is in large amount what Varric in Inquisition is for the most part all about. Guilt, self loathing, and wanting to be a better person.

He just masks it with his usual wit, charm and charisma.

Kinda like Blackwall, only he doesn't really have much charisma or wit to hide behind. Hence why he is so accepting of, and willing to give him another chance without question.

On a final note before we move on from Blackwall, we also get to see varric try to play matchmaker between Blackwall and Josephine which is cute, but not exactly surprising, or give us further insight into Varric's character.

Cole

Now, I'm not going to cover Cole here, not because the banter isn't interesting, or we don't learn anything, but that's all from the way we learn about the world, or Cole himself.

Varric's side of these banters can be summed up in one sentence, for pretty much every single banter.

Varric is Cole's dad.

Rinse, repeat.

Dorian

Similarily, I will not be covering the banter with dorian, not because it's bad, far from it, it's some of the most entertaining in the game, but it doesn't exactly add much beyond the fact that both Varric and Dorian love to gamble, and share witty banter.

Also nugs has some creepy ass feet. The stuff of nightmares.

The Iron Bull

Far more to be dissected, can be found in Varric's banter with the Iron Bull.

There is so much to learn from this banter, from Spy work to how the Antaam is viewed by the other Qunari and so on, but we'll focus on the stuff relating to varric, as he and bull talk about a lot of things.

Varric: You're not the first Ben-Hassrath I've run across. Hawke and I went on a caper with one named Tallis.

Iron Bull: You don't say.

Varric: She caused us no end of trouble. You wouldn't know her by any chance?

Iron Bull: Hey, one time I ran into this dwarf on the road. Short, grouchy. You think you might know him?

Varric: I'm in the Merchant Guild. Ten royals says I not only know him—he owes me money.

Iron Bull: Oh. Well... no. I don't know Tallis. Sorry.

In stark contrast to his talk with Iron bull, when not involving Anders or other people he hates, Varric loves to talk about people. To the point that in his comeback to Iron Bull, there is an invitation here for Bull to specify who this random dwarf was, because chances are, he actually might know him, and could elaborate on the guy.

Varric: How could you possibly be a spy?

Iron Bull: Well, it's a pretty easy job. I do some fighting, and drinking, and then once in a while I tell Par Vollen about it.

Varric: Heh. Where's the sneaking, the plotting, the subtle machinations?

Iron Bull: If you do that, everyone knows you're a spy. Drinking, fighting, writing notes, that's all it really takes.

Varric: Shit. You're either the worst qunari ever, or the best. I can't decide.

He also showcases great frustration with the way Iron Bull pokes holes in his Bond like spy writing, in favor of the mundane realities of Cloak and Dagger stuff.

Because for all that he prides himself on tall tales, varric does like his writing to somewhat be plausible. Its why he gets pissy at the inquisitor when he tells him how stupid so many parts of DA2 were writing wise, cause Varric wrote it how it happened, and while embelishing it, it was mostly true.

And if his spy writing isn't realistic enough that it might plausibly happen... Then it's not as good as it could be.

Iron Bull: By the way, Varric, you write some nice fight scenes.

Varric: Well, thank you. I'm surprised you think so. They're not exactly realistic.

Iron Bull: I figured that out when the good guy did a backflip while wearing a chain mail shirt.

Varric: And that didn't bother you?

Iron Bull: Back in Seheron, I fell on a guy who tried to stab me in the gut. I felt the blade chip as it went through my gut and hit my back ribs. But I was alive, and on top. I sawed through the armor on the rebel's neck, back and forth, until it went red. I don't need a book to remind me that the world is full of horrible crap.

Varric: Impossible swashbuckling it is.

Meanwhile, this bit is surprisingly layered.

First off, there is Bull's retelling and describing the way he dealt with the Vint while bing impaled as "realistic". If this was not a world with magical healing such as potions or poultices he'd had died from this incident, due to infection if nothing else. That's meant as a bit of meta irony.

But the actual meat of this, is that Varric is just letting Bull rant.

The whole "Backflip while wearing chainmail armor" is something Hawke can literarily do in DA2, Provided you are a rogue Hawke and has high enough stats. If so, when hit by a trap, Hawke will simply backflip out of the way, even if wearing chainmail armor.

It is the kind of shit that for a long was normal for Varric, and he writes it into his fight scenes(Which he has a self dig at calling them not realistic, despite having seen shit like that for himself all the time).

But he doesnt say any of that.

Instead he just lets Bull rant, get it out there how shitty he really feels, because varric knows when to talk, and when to listen, and here is a time to listen.

Varric: So, Bull. You and Dorian?

Iron Bull: Mm-hmm.

Varric: "Two worlds tearing them apart, Tevinter and Qunari, with only love to keep them together."

Dorian: I don't see how this is even remotely your business, Varric.

Iron Bull: Could you make it sound angrier? "Love" is a bit soft.

Dorian: Please stop helping the dwarf.

Varric: How about passion?

Iron Bull: Yes, that's better. Love is all starlight and gentle blushes. Passion leaves your fingers sore from clawing the sheets.

Dorian: You could at least have had the courtesy to use the bedposts.

Iron Bull: Hey, don't top from the bottom.

Varric: Passion it is, then.

Also, i wanna highlight his banter with bull, if he and dorian hook up, and if both are with him in the party. It's really the only bit of Dorian varric banter with real character meat to it, as it puts Dorian's rarely seen tsundere side on full display, and why he makes such a good match with the easy going, yet equally passionate iron bull.

Iron Bull: Hey, Varric, I was reading your stuff... Where do your bad guys come from?

Varric: Well, some of them come from Tevinter and some are Ben-Hassrath spies... but I like the stories where the villain was the man beside you the whole time. The best villains don't see themselves as evil. They're fighting for a good cause, willing to get their hands dirty.

Iron Bull: All right, that's really deep and all, but I meant where do the bad guys come from literally? The way you write it, it's like they just fall from the sky and land on top on the hero.

Varric: I like to leave some things to the reader's imagination.

Also, final bit i'll cover of these two here. It's both a meta hit of writing in that it's supposed to be about solas, but can also apply to Iron bull, and is a self depreciating dig on the single worst gameplay mechanic from DA2.

Sera

So, as with Cole and Dorian, im not covering this sequence of banter as it doesn't really reveal much about Varric as a character. Its generally just Sera trying her usual bullshit, and Varric taking the piss out of her, much to her frustration.

Im not exactly a big fan of Sera, and even here, where most of their dialogue is about Varric basicaly running rings around her, don't really makes me smile.

There is one bit of banter though, that i do want to highlight.

Sera: (sing-song) La la la la la, Sentinals are shits.

Varric: Like it or not, Buttercup, that’s where you come from.

Sera: Says the undwarfiest dwarf ever!

Varric: Fair enough. Paragons can be shits too.

So, this one i feel is extremely important, for the reason that it goes to showcase that 1. Sera doesn't understand Varric in the slightest, and 2. Really goes to showcase Sera's complete and total lack of self awareness, and just how out of touch she is, raiding other people's homes, and calling them shits for defending themselves.

But that second one i'll save for Sera's banter review.

For this one, I want to highlight how Varric, just like Dorian understands and more importantly loves the Culture he originates from. He knows how shitty dwarven culture can be, and will never avoid taking the piss out of it for all it's flaws, but he also admires it. He admires their ability to create marvels, their grit and determination that has seen them take on the Darkspawn for a hundred years and still stand, and the individuals that stood up and above the rest to serve as legends, just like Hawke and the Inquisitor.

There is a reason his hangouts in both games are decorated full of very traditional dwarven furniture. Because he wants to live in a home that looks dwarven.

Because the past is important.

It's a bit of wisdom he tries, and fails to impart to Sera, that you simply trying to pretend your roots don't exists never works. And he's right. Even though Sera never admits wrong on her own part, she fully admits she burnt out on this spiteful hatred in Tresspasser.

Solas

Solas and Varric's banter though, is far, far more interesting.

Both of them are tricksters, both value the past greatly in their own way, both understands the power of a story, both of them lie to the Inquisitor, and both would rather remain the side character than step up to take the spotlight.

And yet they are different. Opposites almost.

One of Varric's defining feature as a person is that he cares about all his friends and how those friendships transcends the chains of status, having become friends with dwarves, Qunari, kossiths, humans, elves, templars, mages, seekers, antivans, fereldens, kirkwallers, orlesians, tevinters, anders, revains, avvar, and so on.

Solas single defining feature is how he sees everyone he does not knows except for his own, very small list of what he considers countrymen, as not things, and is willing to destroy the world for them to prosper.

Varric stays out of the spotlight cause he likes being the power behind the throne. Solas does it because as the Herald's Judas, he doesn't want anyone to question the many, many questions about him further than they have to.

Varric lives in the present, but respects the past. Solas in the past, and is terrified of the present.

Which leads to some of the most interesting banter in the game.

Solas: By the end of Hard in Hightown, almost every character is revealed as a spy or a traitor.

Varric: Wait, you read my book?

Solas: It was in the Inquisition library. Everyone but Donnen turned out to be in disguise. Is that common?

Varric: Are we still talking about books or are you asking if everyone I know is a secret agent?

Solas: Are there many tricksters in dwarven literature?

Varric: A handful, but they're the exception. Mostly they're just honoring the ancestors. It's very dull stuff. Human literature? Now there's where you'll find the tricky, clever, really deceptive types.

Solas: Curious.

Varric: Not really. Dwarves write how they want things to be. Humans write to figure out how things are.

Solas questions Varric about the to him, alien Dwarven liturature, trying to figure out what the new, "lesser" dwarves might write about when no longer part of a hivemind.

Varric gives it to him straight, but there is a deeper bit of character here.

Varric is able to explain this to Solas, because as a man who understands Dwarven culture, strengths, flaws, and weaknesses, and how it ticks, as well as undoubtedly having read a lot of dwarven literature, Varric is able to point out all it's shortcomings, or more accurately the way Human and Dwarven literature trends differentiate due to different cultural values.

Varric: You really spend most of your time in the Fade?

Solas: As much as is possible. The Fade contains a wealth of knowledge for those who know where to look.

Varric: Sure, but I don't know how you dream, let alone wander around in there.

Varric: Especially when the shit that comes out of the Fade generally seems pretty cranky.

Solas: So are humans, but we continue to interact with them... when we must.

Here Varric pries a bit into a topic he(If you took him with you in night terrors) only has experienced once before for himself, from someone who knows more about the fade and the veil than anyone.

Solas ends it on a much darker note than Varric assumes though, as what he means is, we have to tolerate them "for now."

Solas: Is it true that the entire dwarven economy relies upon lyrium?

Varric: Mostly. We've got the nug market cornered as well.

Solas: And the dwarves of Orzammar have never studied lyrium?

Varric: If they have, they certainly haven't shared anything up here. Why?

Solas: It is the source of all magic, save that which mages bring themselves.

Solas: Dwarves alone have the ability to mine it safely. I wondered if they had sought to learn more.

Varric: The folks back in Orzammar don't care much about anything but tradition.

So here we have Varric flat out bullshit Solas in several ways. He knows way more about lyrium than most, having studied red lyrium himself, and yet he does not give that information to Soals, the way he does with the Herald, showing that deep down, Varric trusts you far more than Solas, if not as much as Hawke.

He also knows that both surface and underground Dwarves have deeper knowledge of lyrium than any human, being it's the source of all the enchantments and magic, and that while they might not know it's origins, they understand how it works, and how to use it, transport it, store it, and so on.

If there is one thing Orzammar is good at, and not stuck in tradition, it's exploiting Lyrium to the hilt.

And yet he bullshits Solas about it completely. Because this is an early banter, the likely reason is simply that he does not trust him.

Which given his other important lies is not surprising.

And solas later recognizes this.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing.

Varric: What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?

Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter. Dwarves control the flow of lyrium. They could tighten their grip on it.

Varric: It's hard to get the attention of the humans when the darkspawn aren't up here messing with their stuff.

Solas: You're active in the Carta. You know your people could tug the purse strings. You could claim sovereign land on the surface, or demand help restoring the dwarven kingdom, but you don't.

Varric: You're not saying anything I haven't said myself, Chuckles. Orzammar is what it is

Solas Attacks Varric's arguments from adifferent angle here, without directly calling him a liar from the banter before, as he points out just how much power Orzammar has through it's economic might, how even if they know how to use Lyrium so effectively, they haven't been wielding that might to effecrively hammer out an anti Darkspawn coalition to crush the darkspawn in their own dens and wipe them out from the source.

Realistically, the dwarves are rhe only ones who could see it done, and yet they havent. Because before Bhelen, there was never a king willing to upend the entire system to get results.

Varric doesn't actually give his direct thoughts in this bit of banter, but it goes into future ones. Before that though, im gonna quickly cover another bit of banter.

Solas: Do you ever miss life beneath the earth? The call of the Stone?

Varric: Nah. Whatever the Stone - capital S - is, it was gone by the time my parents had me.

Solas: But... do you miss it?

Varric: How could I miss what I never had?

Varric: But say I did have that sense, that connection to the Stone. What would it cost me?

Varric: Would I lose my friends up here? Would I stop telling stories?

Varric: I like who I am. If I want to hear songs, I'll go to the tavern.

Solas: You are wiser than most.

Solas worships the past, to such a degree that he thinks being part of a hivemind under the titans, must have been better for the Dwarves, because of what it allowed them to accomplish by magic, and more importantly that it's what they used to be.

And what they used to be, must be better than what they are now, because the past is better.

Meanwhile Varric is content with the present. He never had stone sense, so why worry about it? Why dream of it, why become his parents? That would be absolutely awful, so why not embrace what you have now.

Though Solas doesn't know it, his backhanded praise here is actually even moreso than he knows.

Its backhanded by intention, because he acknowledges that varric is wiser than those who would wail about their lost glory... But as we'll see in the following banter, he regards all Dwarves, regardless of wheter they are like Varric, as lessers and fools. So varric is better... But he is still a fool.

Meanwhile, on Varric's part, it's even more backhanded than Solas intends because Varric is doing exactly what he's saying he isn't here.

Dreaming of glory days when all was simplier and he was a happier man. He's not dreaming of stone sense itself, but the sentiment is the same.

And he knows it. That's one of the saddest things about Varric in DAI. He became his parents, his worst fear, but he's very much aware of that fact.

Solas: Is there at least a movement to reunite Orzammar and Kal-Sharok?

Varric: What is it with you, Chuckles? Why do you care so much about the dwarves?

Solas: Once, in the Fade, I saw the memory of a man who lived alone on an island. Most of his tribe had fallen to beasts or disease. His wife had died in childbirth. He was the only one left. He could have struck out on his own to find a new land, new people. But he stayed. He spent every day catching fish in a little boat, every night drinking fermented fruit juice and watching the stars.

Varric: I can think of worse lives.

Solas: How can you be happy surrendering, knowing it will all end with you? How can you not fight?

Varric: I suppose it depends on the quality of the fermented fruit juice.

Solas: So it seems.

---

Solas:: I am sorry to have bothered you with my questions about your people Varric. I see so much of this world in dreams. Humans, my own people, even qunari. Dwarves alone were lost to me, save scattered fragments of memory where some spirit cared to watch. Now I know why I see so little.

Varric: And why is that?

Solas:: Dwarves are the severed arm of a once mighty hero, lying in a pool of blood. Undirected. Whatever skill of arms it had, gone forever. Although it might twitch to give the appearance of life, it will never dream.

Varric: I'd avoid mentioning that to any Carta, Chuckles. They might not take it the right way.

---

Varric: What's with you and the doom stuff? Are you always this cheery or is the hole in the sky getting to you?

Solas: I've no idea what you mean.

Varric: All the "fallen empire" crap you go on about. What's so great about empires anyway?

Varric: So we lost the Deep Roads, and Orzammar is too proud to ask for help. So what? We're not Orzammar and we're not our empire.

Varric: There are tens of thousands of us living up here in the sunlight now, and it's not that bad.

Varric: Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be.

Solas: And you have no concept of what that difference cost you.

Varric: I know what it didn't cost me. I'm still here, even after all those thaigs fell.

---

Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could've been, never fighting back.

Varric: Ha, you've got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.

Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?

Varric: In that story of yours—-the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone. You thought he gave up, right?

Solas: Yes.

Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.

Varric: That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes. And it's gone forever.

Varric: The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets.

Solas: Well said. Perhaps I was mistaken

This entire banter line is about Varric and Solas.

On solas part it's about his very well spoken and articulated racist opinions on the modern dwarves compared to those who came before and trying to rack his brian around them not going to the lengths he himself would have gone to save their race.

Also the fact they are no longer part of the Titan hivemind. He's really stuck on that for reasons we don't really fully understand.

However, far, far more importantly this is about Varric's entire storyline in DAI.

Varric talks about Orzammar, about the loss of the deep roads, and yet they are all still there, still fighting, still marching on, rather than laying down and dying.

That is the true strength of the Dwarven race.

The ability to keep going even after losing everything. The original dwarves lost the titans and their magic. They marched on.

The dwarven empire lost the deep roads, and all but two thaigs. They marched on.

The surface dwarves lost their caste the last remains of their magic, and their status in dwarven society. They marched on.

Varric lost kirkwall. He lost his entire friend group that was the people who he loved more than any other group of people he has ever know. He lost his home that he grew up in and loved. He lost his parents and he lost Barthrand, the only remaining family he had, and who despite it all deeply, deeply loved. He lost Bianca, a teenage infatuation he never was able to get over.

And he lost Hawke. Either to Anders kickstsrting the war, or to the fade.

He lost everything he loved.

And yet He. Marched. On.

Varric's story in DAI is an understated one, one that isn't really given story focus, but unlike all the rest of the attempts at telling a more subtle story with the companions, this one actually worked.

Varric's story, is about his march onwards.

He lost everything due to Anders actions, and yet here he is. Marching forward through life. He hasn't laid down and died. He's still here. He's still fighting.

He still has hope.

And so he marches on through the twilight of his life, and keeps going, even if he loses Hawke forever... He keeps going, and he makes it through his depression, and grief to make a new life for himself in Kirkwall.

A new Kirkwall, but Kirkwall nonetheless.

Solas: That crossbow is remarkable, Varric. I am surprised the dwarves have not made more of them.

Varric: The woman who made Bianca would rather that not happen. Wars are bloody enough as it is.

Varric: A crossbow that fires this far and this quickly with so little training? Every battle would be a massacre.

Solas: Indeed. I am surprised, not disappointed.

Here we get a lot of insight into Varric... But also a moment of great moral ambiguity.

Everything Varric says here is true... But it would also mean his people finally, finally being able to destroy the darkspawn for good and all. Such a tech advantage would allow them to wipe the blighted Creatures from existence with ease.

Varric is more than brilliant enough to understand this... But he chooses not to think about it, or wheter it's a good course of actions, because he is shackled to Bianca even now, even still.

Bianca wants this crossbow not to be on the market, so he doesn't put it on the market, regardless of good or bad.

Varric: Hey Chuckles, do you ever play Wicked Grace?

Solas: I'm not much of a gambler anymore.

Varric: You don't have to play for real coin, that's just for keeping score.

Solas: What do you play for?

Varric: Conversation mostly. That way I win no matter how the cards fall.

This is a followup to Varric's original introductionary short story from way back in the day.

From that one we learn that Varric doesn't actually drink anything served at the Hanged man, he just orders a wine glass or beer mug, because he knows people get nervous if you don't drink in a bar, so he crafts an illusion to aid him in his rogue life.

Vivienne

So like a number of these I'm not gonna cover them in full, as while good, and well written, and paints a very clear picture of Vivienne, they're not exactly deep character pieces for Varrix... But I do wanna cover a few.

Vivienne: Am I to understand, Varric, that you knew the apostate who destroyed Kirkwall's chantry?

Varric: Unfortunately, yes.

Vivienne: What could he possibly have hoped to accomplish with such madness?

Varric: Exactly what he got: a whole lot of innocent people killing each other.

Vivienne: I take it he's no longer on your Wintersend gift list.

Varric: Depends. Does a flaming sack of bronto dung count as a gift?

Vivienne: Only if you tie it with a silk ribbon, my dear.

More Varric hating Anders, and laying all the blame of the Mage Templar Wars and ruining his life on him.

Vivienne: Tell me, Varric, who is the protagonist of this serial?

Varric: You know, we're so far into spoiler territory right now, I think I better stop talking.

Vivienne: Come now, darling. You can tell me.

Varric: Not on your life, Iron Lady. The best way to ensure a book's nevered finish is to tell someone your entire plot.

More Varric showcasing he cannot stand spoilers coming out, and it destroys his entire ability to write.

Vivienne: You know, Varric darling, I read your Hard in Hightown.

Varric: You did? Seriously?

Vivienne: Most of the Imperial Court did. It was in fashion a few winters ago.

Varric: Just how much gold is my publisher stealing from me?

One detail i really like about Varric, is that he tries to create this image of himself as always bring in control and all that... And then he has moments like this where his regular ass publisher swindles him for a shit ton of money.

Vivienne: How many chapters will this book be, Varric dear?

Varric: Well, the first one will come out in twelve chapters.

Vivienne: The first one?

Varric: I've read enough Orlesian fictions to know you never tell a story there in fewer than three complete books. They think you're just warming up after one.

Vivienne: And what happens to the scheming duchess in the first book?

Varric: Are you asking for spoilers, Madame De Fer?

Vivienne: Hints, darling. Not spoilers.

More Varric showcasing he understands other cultures and how they write stories.

[danieyells]

How much money do I have to throw at you to hear your opinion on which gouls are chubby chasers?

Are you the same anon who sent me an ask about which ghouls prefer chubbier partners at the beginning of the month lol YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ME (i mean if anyone wants to offer me money i won't complain unless you're also struggling financially--) I'M JUST VERY VERY VERY SLOW AT ANSWERING ASKS A LOT OF THE TIME ANON. I like to dedicate time and effort to details and my adhd is like. If you do not have the energy or attention span or immediate thought to dedicate to this task i'm not gonna let you do it. Hence the slow responses.

Another thing is that. I feel like this is a somewhat difficult question with the way my brain is. Because while I(and my brother and my father even!) find fat people/characters attractive(if not more attractive/aesthetically pleasing!!! And I'm fat and my dad was fat!) my brain's just like. . .that's a given. People are generally pretty attractive in general, especially chubby people. How do I articulate this without making it disappointing? How do I articulate what or why they find this attractive without saying 'that's just how it is'? "There's no deeper feeling or explanation" is something i could say about anyone and if I do that it doesn't really feel like it. . .goes with a character. . . .

But enough excuses. I'll do my best and I'll hope you like it. Originally i tried to make a shortlist and then it became a proper list. 🙃 This is why i never get anything done.

Some nsfwish ahead!

Tohma - the fringes of society from whence he originates tend to have greater body type variance. You might think his concern for health would sway him away from a fat or chubby partner, but he knows well enough that being bigger is not a health risk(or sign of bad health) in and of itself. Also if you're into food being well-fed is also very good for you isn't it? He has fun molding you into someone befitting of high society--no compromises to your weight or shape and no shit taken from those around when he can hear. Tailored clothing without a word of complaint. Dance lessons where he's, perhaps, a little handsy with showing you where and how to move your body and hold yourself. He likes the weight of your body in his arm when he dips you. He likes the 'extra padding' that makes it feel like he doesn't have to worry as much about his brute strength when he's sleeping with you. The soft and """imperfect""" shape of your body takes him away from the pressures of the things he has to do and the ridiculous standards of high society. You're a grounding in reality, for a moment, before he goes back to the fake world he works in. And well since he doesn't have to be fake and maybe doesn't have to be as gentle, you can have a few glimpses of the former Vice Captain of Vagastrom and the way he appreciates every curve of your body with strong, rough hands, squeezing and caressing. You're much easier to lift up to a ghoul like him than you may think. He couldn't help himself when you react so well to sudden things like being grabbed, a swift and subtle smack to your ass or thighs, being scooped up off the ground--

Kaito - Kaito's interest started off with bad pickup articles that told him that fat people were less confident and thus more readily available and easier to flirt with. That turned into 'well what if I do land a bigger person' and actually putting in effort to understand what he should do and what he should and shouldn't say, and how he should handle a chubby partner's body and. . .he wound up in a rabbithole of pictures and video that filled his head with all sorts of appreciation for something that hadn't really done anything special for him before. He's not a big guy. He is the shortest of all of the ghouls and faculty save Cornelius. He's also not the biggest in terms of his body--he's pretty scrawny and a little softer himself, actually. Not chubby, but. He definitely feels closer to you than to everyone else around him who's in stupidly amazing shape. Even if you aren't unconfident about your body the way he is about his, he feels more comfortable and a little less like he has to idk push to be someone he's not when you can just be you(or, well, you don't have a choice really, you can't really just pretend to not be chubby.) Also, something about being with someone who's body kind of overwhelms his own does it for him--he kind of has to admit his 'weakness' there but he certainly won't let it stop him from working around it. Also. . .as a ghoul he's physically stronger than a human and being with you makes him feel strong! He can lift you up, believe it or not! He sure as hell doesn't believe it!!! Definitely not with as much ease as others but!!! Also, bonus if you're into pastries and sweets--he loves baking and he will feed you. And if you appreciate that he can bake pretty well he'll love you even more.

Lucas - similarly to Tohma, being from the UK, he's more accustomed to people who're bigger than the societal and cultural standards he's now surrounded with tend to find permissible. Again you might think that with his focus on training and strengthening his body that your body might be 'untrained' and he would find that unappealing--and maybe he does at first. But I think he would find it more appealing as time goes on. Even if you're 'untrained', there's something. . .admirable about that? It's difficult for him to put into words when he's trying to be less thoughtless. You aren't burdened in the way he is. You don't need to work yourself to the same degree to feel like you're achieving your goals. He could never be that way, certainly, but. . .he wants to protect you as you are and desire to be. It starts with a mindset like that, of being happy that you don't need to do what he does, and graduates into a. . .fascination. Maybe you train with him a little bit one day, even if it's just stretches or meditation. But the way you move and carry yourself is different. The way your body flows is different, and before long he realizes he spends a lot of time staring at your body. It's rude of him, but he thinks a lot about how your body must feel. About how your body moves when you do and what other ways he could see it moving--and he's not used to thoughts like that. He works himself up very quickly and easily without thinking about it. He would never burden you with his needs, but he can imagine what it would be like if you helped him. . .soft, warm, heavy, giving gently under his hands, your stomach such a contrast to his while pressed against it. . .round cheeks turning up when you smile at him. . .maybe it's just because it's you. He's noble, but he's not immune.

Alan - Much like Tohma and Luca he's a lot more accustomed to being around a varied type of people and his insane strength makes the prospect of someone who's, perhaps, a little less fragile more appealing to him. Which isn't to say he would treat you any less gently--you're still human and he's still. . .him. But he's a little less afraid of making mistakes. He doesn't have any sort of in-depth thoughts on what appeal to him about a bigger person beyond that--that and he really has an appreciation for. . .the contrast. He's more muscle than fat(which isn't to say he's the shape of some kind of body builder, he recognizes the importance of fat in maintaining his body's strength and capabilities, and also he eats a lot) and you're the opposite of all of his harder muscular parts. Also. . .your cheeks are soft and really cute. He pats them along with patting you on the head. He wants to hold you and bury his face against you but he's still pretty afraid of what damage he could do. . .but it's a lot easier to imagine safely doing so with you. Well, he still wants you to be careful.

Leo - Leo seems derogatory and egotistical first and foremost. He seems to be insulting your weight, your appearance, the way your clothes fit you, the space you take up. But oh boy. You somehow endure that and you will quickly find that Leo is one of the most physically affectionate people and it turns out he's all about touching you. He's a lot more cuddly once he warms up to you(and frankly that doesn't take long--he very well may be insulting you while cuddling you). And you have so many great places to lie down on and cuddle up to! And so much more space to leave marks all over too. . . . Eventually he'll be more straightforward with that he straight up thinks you're sexy and he likes the way your body feels and looks and there's no deeper meaning behind it--he's an asshole towards everyone, isn't he? How's it any surprise he's not any different towards you while still wanting to fuck you? Did you need him to spell it out? He's usually only blandly sweet towards people he wants something from, or to be mocking. If you want him to spell it out for you more he can--as long as you've admitted to liking him first--but he'll make a big deal about it.

Sho - Sho is a flirty playboy athlete and maybe that means you'd think he'd have basic tastes. Maybe you'd think if he came up to you and hit on you he'd be trying to make fun of you. Not so. He is very serious, even if he's probably not after something serious. But if he were ahahaha. Hahaha. Congratulations. Sho is a catch. If you happen to be a fan of food and eating he loves when people appreciate his food and he will feed the absolute hell out of you and praise you for eating and being big(and if you gain weight then that's just as much as a compliment.) It's not really a feederism thing, he just really likes cooking and he really likes when people appreciate the flavors and effort behind his food(in contrast to Leo who always lets his food get cold and smothers it in hot sauce--). That aside, Sho loves showing off. He's also one of the physically stronger ghouls thanks to athleticism and he can lift and throw you without it being any sort of effort. And he thinks it's fun to do that! Especially without warning you!! (He'll only throw you onto his couch or bed, you're not in any danger. He might move you places though, or use your body as a weight to lift.) Sho is pretty direct about his thoughts and feelings--even if he takes his flirting back half the time--so he would probably be the most open about that he specifically finds that you are fat attractive. He. . .might be a bit of a fuckboy about it and make a lot of sexual comments about how attractive your body is(which isn't to say he won't say anything about that you're attractive in general! You're absolutely cute/hot/pretty/sexy/beautiful/handsome/[preferred aesthetic compliment here] even when he's not sexualizing you and aside from your weight, but he'll let you know that, yes, something he finds attractive about you is your size/shape/weight.) but rest assured that you probably won't be left wondering if he finds you attractive. He'll tell you. Like Leo, he also likes to leave marks so. . .be ready for that too. Oh, are you worried about Bonnie? She's fine! She's a strong girl. Get on the bike.

Towa - Towa is another one who doesn't have a lot of thoughts about this. He very much likes what he likes. He's also another physically affectionate and strong one who likes to show off how strong he is--everything about your body appeals to that he wants to scoop you up and cuddle you and protect you. You're cute and weak and that doesn't change even if you're chubby. Your round face and soft neck and hands and tummy are extra cute! In the past, he wouldn't have felt this way--but his feelings changed along with his feelings towards small, weak things. Expect a lot of unannounced contact, getting picked up and carried places. . .well, that's kind of normal for Towa regardless of body shape--

Ren - Similarly to Leo, he seems kind of mean at first. . .but he's tsundere, that's how he is. His complaints are mostly about you taking up space and sexually harassing him(touching him due to perceived lack of space.) But. . .he actually really likes the warmth and softness pressed against his side. He just won't admit it. He'll complain the whole way as always but he's not good at being subtle about looking at you or actually choosing to be near you. Making excuses as usual. Once you're close enough he'll. . .continue to complain about lack of space. . .while getting in your space and lying against you while he plays games or watches movies. People keep telling him how lazy he is and how fat he's gonna get if he keeps slacking off but. . .it fits you pretty well. Would it really be all that bad? He likes cuddling up to you(when offered or when he eventually gets over himself or blurts out that he wants to, whichever comes first) and maybe you'd like cuddling up to him more of he were bigger. What does he care. (When you sleep together, as expected he makes you do all the work. But he loves that, the feeling and sight of you riding him or sitting on his face, smothering him. . . .)

Taiga - Taiga is not allowed to eat people. Taiga is not supposed to eat humans or other ghouls and he and Romeo and their previous captain and Nicolas put a lot of effort into weaning him off of cannibalism despite that he honestly does think anomalies taste better(humans are just more readily available and he's gotta bring anomalies back, not eat them.) That being said in Taiga's eyes you are marbled like a wagyu steak and he wants to bite into every part of you--he always thought that more fat made a human taste better. That has not changed but has, instead, manifested into a different sort of allure. Maybe he wants to bite you a little, but he won't. . .not any more than he'd bite most anyone else anyway. Instead he'll pet you and grope you and tell you to wag your tail for him(and you have so much more tail to wag--) and maybe his nickname for you(because unless you've got a real short but also unique enough name he's not gonna remember your name, so you'll get a nickname) will play on your weight or shape. And his hunger will translate to other types of hedonistic hunger--he loves using his mouth and tongue and you will feel it even if he doesn't use his teeth. He also hates to be cold and will expect you to get in his bed and warm it up for him--and also stay there like a good cuddly pillow. You're perfect for all kinds of things he likes and, kind of like Sho, he's not a guy with a filter--he'll be a little blunt about how much he likes specifically that you're chubby and how perfect that is. And how hungry it makes him. But he won't eat you unless you're an anomaly, so don't worry! He's just gonna bite you and bruise you and cut you but he'd do that with just about any partner, so don't think too hard about it!!!

Haku - Once again, you are the pillow partner for your lazy boyfriend here. You're gonna be cuddled and kissed and slept all over. But also, Haku is much too flirty, much too appreciative of you and your body, and he has no shame about telling you you're attractive and that he wants you--he's not as perverse about it as Sho but you will never have any doubt that you and your body are well loved by Haku, as if he would ever leave room for any doubt. Hold his hand, let him put his arm around you no matter who's watching, sit in his lap whether or not you're invited. Haku is such a simple, loving flirt, how could he possibly not be drawn in when there's more of you to love? He doesn't like using his ghoul strength but he does like showing off for you, so if you might like being carried like a princess he wouldn't even think of it as something that might be "more work". It's never work if it's to please you. Yeah he likes his sex lazy and slow but that's all the more time to indulge in your body.

Edward - Ed is similar to Taiga in that his vampiric predatory instinct plays into his attraction to your body--but he's got much better control over himself. When he says you look delicious he doesn't mean it as much in that he wants to feast on you as that he wants to feast on you. (The videos he's been watching have been filling his head with rather. . .offensive thoughts on fat people. You want to prove him wrong, don't you? Of course you do--it's not fair that he thinks that way. . . .Filling your head with thoughts? Don't be silly, he's assured Darkwick he would never engage in any form of enthrallment. . .it's in writing, if you want to look into it.) He's also in the 'I'm used to more varied body types' group--both because he's been all over the world and because he's old. People's bodies were generally more well rounded when he was younger. Not that he's picky, but your body is more familiar and welcoming for him. On top of that he feels so much more comfortable at rest beside you--you're warm and plush and he is so very tired. . .and if you want to lie on top of him like a comfy living weighted blanket he won't have any protest. He's a whiner always saying how weak and delicate he is, but he's a ghoul and a vampire and he's just exaggerating so he can get away with being lazy. He would be happy to have you atop him--in many measures of the word. He is a little cold, isn't he? And his room, similarly cold? If you'll help warm him up he can return the favor--he might just need a little snack from between your legs. . . . No need to worry about him, he doesn't need to breathe, so put all of your weight on him and don't have a care in the world. He may need your body to solve a little problem that's arisen once he's had his fill, but it's okay if you want to take the lying back role while he puts in the effort--he's much more energetic after a meal, after all.

Lyca - (Of course if you're a girl you're evil and scary and dangerous but. . . .) Even if he insists he's human, he has a very animal mind much of the time. What's there to dislike about someone who's body is clearly well fed and also better suited to winter? That means you're healthy and don't have to worry about starving or freezing right? That makes you a good mate! You're also a more fun art subject--if you let him draw you, he'll put so much love and work and detail into every curve and dip and aspect of your body. He may touch or circle you to try and get a good feel for the work he's doing, but it's not for a perverted reason! He's trying to draw you right!! For some reason, maybe because he considers himself human, Lyca doesn't feel as much of a predatory urge towards you--as long as you're not nearing a full moon anyway. You definitely seem more like a plump prey animal then, but he won't let that change anything. You're both humans, so he's not going to treat you differently. He does have to resist the urge to push his nose into the rolls of your body where it's warm and your scent gathers more, but he's happy to snuffle up to you(as long as you don't touch his blanket) all through the night. Sex is. . .he's still getting used to thoughts like that, so you may need to help him a lot. . .but he's very engaged with the movement of your body, the bounce and ripple and the feel under his hands. . .it's a very human experience, his senses say so--this isn't like how wolves do things, this isn't how wolves feel, this is human and he's human and you're human and. . . .

Jiro - in medical studies there's a gap in understanding of effects of medicines and illnesses on bodies considered "overweight". If there's a gap in knowledge in regular medicine there's sometimes a similar one in anomalous medicine. Gaps in knowledge make Jiro curious, they make him interested, and lo and behold he's been drawn to more interesting subjects. He doesn't usually think in unprofessional thoughts, but if something interests him more then isn't it worth thinking about when solving certain problems? You'd never know he has such an attraction to bigger bodies because. Well, Jiro rarely shows any interest in anything. If anything he expresses the interest clinically and requests your assistance in filling in gaps. Obviously you're only one person and that's nothing for a sample size, but it's a start. He's so analytical regarding your body that it's almost. Sensual. Carefully recording fat distribution, asking about history. Is your body this way because of diet, exercise, medical history, genetics, something else? Weight loss never comes up as a 'solution' unless there's some aspect of your weight that might actually verifiably be an issue(such as with effectiveness of certain medications, but even then it's a last suggestion compared to 'try a different medication' or 'increase dosage if you're comfortable doing so.') He finds your body interesting in a clinical way and that leaks over into a personal interest. He's spent enough time studying your body medically that he's interested in. . .studies outside of his usual area of expertise, I'm sure he'd say. Has the growth of your body affected your nerves and, if so, are you more or less sensitive in certain places? How do your stretch marks feel--do they itch or hurt or have any sensation at all? Do you like when he touches them? Cellulite is a harmless, painless part of fat accumulation, is the same true for you? He's stroking you a little bit more than you think is necessary for an examination? You might be right. That's his bad. You also might be right to point out that he's a little aroused. He'll handle it when he's done, so will you comply a little longer? He has more questions and tests he wants to run. This isn't official work, so you can stop whenever you want. It'll be a long time before he really addresses his sexual interest, but that's normal for Jiro. It'll be faster if you. . .offer your assistance, of course. But he won't make it unprofessional if you won't. (Jiro also likes baking because it's a lot like making medicine--precise numbers and amounts, mixing things in the proper methods and orders--so he's another 'I'll feed you if you're into that' boy. Don't worry, he won't put anything strange in your food. Probably.)

Yuri would specifically be more attracted to fat women(or feminine people--) because there's something. . .motherly about that to him. And we know what a mamas boy he is.

I don't think any of them wouldn't find a chubby or fat partner attractive except maybe Romeo. Romeo very specifically because he has a voiceline in which he complains that you look like "a fat slug" when you're bundled up in the winter, and more or less says he doesn't wanna be seen with you like that. Which doesn't necessarily mean he's not capable of being attracted to somebody bigger--it much more likely means "that doesn't fit you in an aesthetically appealing way and you are not meeting my standards"--but it struck me as sticking to conventional standards in a strict and negative way. He'd just need more time to like you and your body would have to come after. He has no problem feeding you on his birthday so it's not like he's going to force you to be skinny.

BUT UH. THERE'S THAT. I HOPE IT ISN'T DISAPPOINTING OR UNPLEASANT. SORRY THAT SOME ARE SO MUCH SHORTER THAN THE OTHERS. MAYBE JUST A LIST WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER BUT I'M NOT GOOD AT THAT. . . .

[creepy-friday]

May I request,,,,headcanons of the 3 proxies all sharing the fem proxy, please 👀👀

Poly relationship headcanons? 👀 yes

|Poly Relationship| Creepypasta Proxies x fem!Reader

Warnings: suggestive/NSFW themes,poly relationship

First and foremost,how did the three of them even agree to share the same lovely reader?How they managed to put their differences aside?

It was a silent agreement.All of them are possessive as fuck and considering the ways all of them live..it would be impossible to find a partner outside their "workplace" they would prolly kidnap them but I will go into yandere hcs other time

They just came to terms that it's easier this way.No disturbing the peace between their dynamics would be ideal to establish a somewhat safe work environment BETWEEN THEM of course

The relationship would start with you being closer to one particular creep of your choice from the main three,and slowly the other men would make themselves more present in your relationship

If you agree that you could be the one who would somewhat make their dynamic slightly better then you're good to enjoy their suffocating presence near you!

Oh boy.Masky's fiery temper would only assume your time should be spent with him for the most part,especially since he truly believes he's the leader while Toby thinks he's the closest you can get to a boyfriend so he competes with him A LOT

Hoodie is chill and laid back,his huge ego already thinks you prefer him since he's only suffocating from a safe distance whenever you don't feel like it

I also hc him either filming or jerking off while watching you get all down and dirty with his friend.The clips are kept for personal reasons~

Masky would prefer to share you with Hoodie, and it's extremely rare for him to be cool to stay with both yourself and Toby

Sex is especially messy when both Masky and Hoodie share you,and because of this Brian would be the one to take care of you in a special way during aftercare

"So" Brian starts,leaning back on the bed "who fucks you better?Honestly." he smirks,patting his tigh,slowly gesturing to the evident bulge in his pants

I still see Masky being a little shit to the youngest proxy and still manipulating him into thinking he's not good enough or that you fake your moans or something,that's what is making Toby be especially rough with you after those times

I see them growing a littleeee closer to eachother because of you

Do they still fight?Yeah,but now the MOST reasons of their fights are inclined to you

Whenever one would feel like you give more of your attention to the other one a fight based of a stupid random thing would erupt between Toby and Masky

Missions are still done the usual way,but now the three men are more possessive about you and actually gaf about your safety

Makeouts while covered in blood?You gave them a boner

During heated nights they would lose the ability to see past their subtle cold demeanour towards each other and would join to ravish you, most of them happen in the forest

ALSO,the tought of you-Slenderman's right hand and one of the strongest residents-being seen with them,AT THE SAME TIME,it's just..something primal that it makes them go over the edge

[daisyvisions]

Drive Me Crazy - (j.hn)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: inexperienced boyfriend!Hakyneon x experienced afab!reader

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 1.5K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), pwp (minimal plot) me thinks, car sex, mentions of fingering, dry humping, blowjobs, oral (f! receiving). Handjob, unprotected sex (with multiple creampies), lots of making out and kissing, a lot of curse words (sorry), pet names (sweetheart, baby), virginity loss

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: Original idea was loosely inspired by an actual experience I had (but took the liberty of making it smuttier hehe 😈) Dedicating this one to you @winterchimez / @midnightfantasiez. Proofread once.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

“Fuck, are you sure about this?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life-”

You pant into his mouth as you take a breather from making out for god knows how long. It’s been over eight months since you and Haknyeon have officially started dating and safe to say, it was like you two were still in some wild honeymoon phase.

Every chance you found yourselves alone together, you two wasted no time being in each other’s arms and letting out all the pent up tension you had on one another. Sneaking off into storage closets to make out, held back moans as he fingered you in bathrooms, and now? Dry humping the hell out of each other at the back of his car.

And all you had to do was give him one look across the room of this birthday party and he knew what you wanted. It’s those damn eyes, he smirks to himself before subtly motioning you to meet him outside.

It must’ve been the alcohol and the way he looked tonight because all you were thinking about as soon as he picked you up was to get him alone and finally ride him into sunrise.

You hastily got off his lap and flipped your hair to the side, hands eagerly finding their way to his crotch and trying to unbuckle his belt as fast as you could.

You could practically feel yourself salivating seeing his hard on tenting beneath his jeans. As you’re about to unzip his pants, he holds your wrists and stops you from going any further.

“W-wait-” He stutters.

“Ugh, Hak… again?” You let out a frustrated sigh.

This wouldn’t be the first time he stopped you from touching him despite allowing him to freely touch any part of your body. At first, you thought he wanted to take things slow, especially after you confessed to him that you have never been in a slow-paced relationship.

Every guy you’ve been with always wanted to get in your pants immediately and not enjoy the subtle touches and slow kisses here and there of a new relationship. So when Haknyeon asked you to be his girlfriend he promised you that he would give that to you.

But you didn't know he would take the term “slow” that seriously.

Yes, a relationship shouldn’t just be based on the sexual aspect, you knew that. You would still love Haknyeon even if he turned into a small little worm. But you’re just a girl after all. A girl with needs. You were horny as hell… and fingers and pussy eating were not going to make you last long.

You wanted his dick and you wanted it now.

“I don’t understand-” You pull away from him. “Is it me? Am I too much for you? Am I not attractive enough?” You started to feel a slight pain in your chest on the latter thought.

“No! No. You’re practically a goddess-”

“Then why don’t you want me to touch you then?” You pout. “I’m sorry Hak, I know we wanted to take things slow-” You huff out air you’ve been keeping in your lungs. “But- it’s not fair.”

“Not fair? What do you mean?” He looks at you with worried eyes.

“You get to touch me but I don’t get to touch you! Is there something wrong?” You patiently wait for his answer as Haknyeon closes his eyes and lets out a big sigh.

“You might laugh at me…” He could feel his cheeks warming up by the second.

“I've… I’ve never done this before…” He glances at you quickly before looking back at his hands.

“What do you mean you’ve never done this before?” Your eyebrows raise.

“I’ve never had sex okay? There I said it!” He exclaims, widened eyes looking back at you, waiting for your reaction.

“But, I’ve given you head before-”

“Yeah and I nearly came within the first thirty seconds. Had to breathe in deeply and bite my lip so you wouldn’t notice at all.” He looks down at his hands again, feeling ashamed.

“You probably think I’m a loser right now-”

“Hak- look at me.” You cup his face in your hands, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“That doesn’t matter to me. I just want to be with you, to feel you-” You kiss him again, but this time slipping in your tongue as Haknyeon lets out a tiny whimper.

“Would you let me feel you?” You whisper into his mouth. He hesitates for a moment, but as soon as he looks deep into your eyes he let go of his fear.

“Fuck- Please do…” He grabs you by the waist and pulls you into his lap once again, kissing your lips before leaning down to suck the sensitive skin on your neck.

You moan at his plump lips leaving their marks on you as your hands traveling from the back of his neck all the way down to finally unzip his jeans, freeing his aching cock from its confinements.

He suddenly stops kissing your neck and pulls away as you palm his erection, almost grabbing your wrists again out of impulse but you bring your hand to his cheek and caress him with your thumb.

“Shh It’s okay. Let me take care of you.” You slide your hand down his boxers, pulling out his member as you wrap your fingers around the warm skin.

Haknyeon hisses in pleasure, trying not to burst any second from how you’re slowly jerking him off. You smear his oozing precum around his length, gradually increasing the speed of your wrists as you kiss his neck.

“F-feels so good-” Haknyeon moans against your ear.

“Yeah? You think you can handle more?” you mumble against his neck.

“Please- I don’t think I’m gonna last long if you keep this up.” He feels you smirk against his skin as you stop your hand from fisting his length.

You lift your hips up and adjust your position as you pull your panties to the side, rubbing the tip of his cock against your folds before aligning it to your wet entrance and slowly sinking down.

“Fuck fuck fuck- wait a second.” Haknyeon whines out.

“What’s wrong?” You bite your lower lip, trying to hide your amusement at how he’s reacting.

“You’re really wet.” He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.

“Well… that’s what you do to me.” You lean in to whisper in his ear.

Without warning you start to roll your hips, He deep groan comes out of his mouth as he tightens his grip on your waist.

“Oh that’s it, holy shit…” He moans as he guides your hips, “C’mere-”

He kisses you with much fervor as he gradually pulls your hips faster until you’re practically bouncing on his cock. You whimper against his mouth as you feel his thick length dragging within your velvety walls, finally feeling full inside because of him.

“Sweetheart t-think I’m gonna cu-oh!” His member twitches inside you.

“Give it to me baby, inside!” You try to bounce faster but Haknyeon suddenly wraps his arms around your waist, thrusting up quickly inside you like an animal in heat.

You feel a gush of warm fluid exploding inside you as he lets out grunting sounds. You think he’d stop at this point but he just keeps on thrusting into you, feeling his cum spilling out while the tip of his cock nudges that sweet spot deep within.

“Gonna- ah!” You shout, feeling your walls tighten as Haknyeon doesn't stop fucking up into you.

“C’mon, cum on me sweetheart. Can practically feel your walls choking my dick.” He groans into your mouth.

“Oh fuck, think I’m gonna cum again-”

“Cum with me Hak, please!” As soon as you utter those last words, he’s bursting inside of you once again. His load just as heavy as the last. You also reach your high at the same time, feeling yourself gush onto his member while seeing stars. You’re both moaning and panting into each other’s mouths. Kissing each other as if it was your only source of oxygen.

As you’re about to get off of him, he holds your hips down.

“C-can we uh… go again?” He shyly asks.

“You mean now?!” You gasp at the feeling of his member still hard and twitching inside you.

“Yeah…” You could practically see his cheeks turning red from asking. You let out a chuckle before kissing his forehead.

“Just, give me a moment okay?” You rest your head on his shoulder, keeping his cock plugged inside you til you’re ready to go again.

And boy, did you two go at it for hours and hours til the sun started to rise.

[grandlinedreams]

Can we get relationship hc for law?

Curious abt ur opinion since u write him so well

Oh absolutely, I can do that! I hope that this is to your liking!!

[Heads up!: some fluff, some angst-ish things, talking realistically abt Law and i can never be normal abt him]

Truthfully Law is definitely reserved with his emotions. Even after the events of Dressrosa as he gets used to the idea of living for himself, it's going to take him a good while to open up to anyone.

While he does have his hot buttons in terms of things he acts first and thinks about later (see: his crew and their safety), in terms of a relationship? He puts a lot of thought into it before he even considers telling you how he feels.

Not only does he weigh the chances of you feeling the same, but he also thinks about what to do in both scenarios. If you don't feel the same way? It's awkward because there's only so many places on the Polar Tang you can use to avoid someone successfully, and you also draw the others into it because he'd definitely be more reserved while he compartmentalizes/works through that rejection.

If you do have feelings for him? He's figuring out how this is going to work because again, there are others around you that are going to eventually notice. He keeps it simple and subtle ㅡ lets his attention linger on you more than thirty seconds, gives you more than one to two word answers, even goes as far as to find reasons to touch your shoulders, your arms, hands ㅡ if you're lucky, you get the occasional headpat.

He's not super physically affectionate but as long as it's in private and he's not doing something extremely important, he won't turn you down. Hugs are something it takes a while to get used to so the early ones definitely feel like hugging a scarecrow, but he tries. The more comfortable he is in your relationship, the more likely he is to initiate physical contact. One of his favorite things to do is to either pull you into his lap or sit behind you and rest his chin on your shoulder. If you're standing? Your head is his new chin rest.

Personally I hc him as being somewhere on the spectrum, so he also strikes me as a big fan of parallel play. You don't talk, but you do your thing, he does his, he considers it bonding with you.

Kisses also take time for him to come around to, the first time you kiss his cheek? Blushes, pulls on his hat, mumbles about you being annoying. He doesn't mean it though, he just has a hard time coping w the fact that he likes the feel of your lips on his skin. Kisses also are short and chaste for the most part but no less sweet ㅡ he just doesn't want anyone to see.

As far as people knowing about your relationship, Law is an intensely private person who only doles out information about himself if he feels it important to the situation at hand. ie, it's either something close to a year before anyone even gets an inkling that you're together, or it's absolutely never. No in-betweens. He values his privacy, he values yours ㅡ and he values safety. He doesn't need the stress of an enemy knowing his weak spots, or yours.

And finally, in terms of saying "I love you", you have to have the utmost patience with him. He also values the weight of words, especially with things as vulnerable as love. But he does love you, and he makes sure to convey that even if he isn't saying it. The first time he says it, you more than likely are asleep, unaware of it. He's testing it out, making sure it fits how he feels ㅡ and once it does? He says it. It's low and quiet, for your ears only ㅡ cherish it, because he won't say it for anyone else.

[yumeka-sxf]

Today's new chapter was so intriguing 👀

First off, nice to see the Authens again. Guess we're sure now that Endo will make them reoccurring characters! Yor's embarrassment about being called "Mom" ("okaa-san" in the JP version) was really cute.

They managed to translate this joke very well; in the JP version, the word "ebento"(event) makes Sigmund think of "obento"(lunchbox). Using the word "function" for "luncheon" was clever!

But the main highlight of this chapter for me was seeing the ever enigmatic Melinda again after so long!

She's a really a tough one to figure out, and this chapter only brought up more questions than answers. She seems extremely nice here, being very forgiving of Millie despite her harsh accusations against her husband. She also mentions that she'd be very resentful if anything were to happen to her family...which is kind of contrasting to her thoughts about Damian from the end of the bus hijacking arc.

I also loved the scene of Yor sticking up for Millie. Her expression was so blank yet so deep at the same time. It actually reminded me of Anya's expression when she punched Damian - in both cases, their blank expression doesn't match their action, but it makes sense because they're still unsure of how to act and what emotion to portray in many seemingly "normal" situations. Anger and annoyance aren't feelings that come naturally to them.

In Yor's case here, having to defend someone against such accusations isn't something she's had much experience doing (at least not for someone who isn't family), and at the same time she can't just outright kill the hostile party like she would on an assassination mission. So despite being in such an awkward situation, especially for someone like her who struggles with social interactions, she managed to remain remarkably calm. As usual, Yor gets easily flustered when it comes to her own feelings, but if she sees someone else being threatened, her capabilities shoot up to maximum! That unpredictable expression should be feared from both her and Twilight!

We also learn that Yor lost her parents in the war, which is something I always suspected. Her words in the below panel reminded me a lot of the thoughts she had during the end of the cruise arc. As I've mentioned before, despite her naivety about many things, she understands the tragedies that go on in the world, especially in terms of war - that it's not just soldiers who suffer, but the children and everyone else left behind. It makes sense that someone who understands that kind of loss and hardship has such outpouring empathy to others the way Yor does...

...which is actually contrasting to the way Millie deals with her loss, by lashing out at others. It's said that those who have suffered can become either very sympathetic or very resentful. It was interesting to see that subtle contrast between Yor and Millie here.

Speaking of Millie, it was nice to see her get some redemption and backstory. Like Camilla, I still don't think this makes up for all the mean things she's said to Yor before, but it's something!

Good to see McMahon again after so long. Don't think he's made an appearance since the cruise arc 👀

As usual, it's hard to say if this chapter is leading to a new arc or not. I'm sure things mentioned here, especially about Melinda, will come back later, but who knows if it will be right away or several chapters from now. I know we were all expecting something relating to Anya's backstory based on the previous short mission, but I still think there's a chance that what happened here could tie into that. We'll see! We're close to chapter 100 so I wonder if Endo is planning something special for that 🤔

[dingodad]

personally the vriska calling him a pedophile bit wasnt out of place for me. Canonically vriska doesnt shy away from saying that scratch is a sexual predator, she does state outright to his face that he gets off on manipulating little girls in the comic.

i think "would it be in character for vriska to say that" and "does it make sense in the context of the story for her to say that" are two subtly but crucially different questions, though.

like, on the one hand: it has always been textually clear that doc scratch is not LITERALLY a pedophile. he's a completely asexual organism. by using that word to describe him, you're making the subtextual textual. and this kind of "saying the quiet part out loud" is something the HICU have done very deliberately since they took the helm of hs2; they are intimately aware, i think, of the fact that they are fans in charge of deconstructing homestuck for the entertainment of other fans, and that in service of that aim sometimes you need to be willing to have mature discussions out in the open. a lot of the time this has worked for them quite well, especially in terms of getting old readers back on board with a story which has in the past been overly subtle to the point of excruciating boredom. but sometimes it teeters close to the edge of "characters talking like they're fully aware they're getting therapy", and i think this example leans somewhat toward the latter. like, is there really anyone reading hs2 at this point who doesn't already have some understanding that scratch is a predator? who exactly did it serve to make that already blatant comparison that much more overt?

on the other hand... i get the impression that vriska is actually aware of this distinction, on some level? like emphasising the fact that scratch is a child predator is almost a sort of shield for her. the name of vriska's game in this chapter is minimisation; while it's super cool and heroic to admit that part of your tragic backstory involves a sick spider monster and a badass lady pirate, by trying to paint scratch as nothing more than a pathetic kiddy fiddler what she's really saying is that because he never actually molested her then she was never really abused, that she was never really a victim and therefore he was never actually a significant presence in her life at all. that's how she lives with it, by role playing as the predator to forget the fact that she was ever prey.

i think what i question about this is possibly that vriska would even know to use that word at all? writing dialogue that actually feels authentically like stuff trolls would say is another thing i think hs2 has had a rough time with ("that is a completely normal human sentence"?). the gay joke in the tavros chapter was funny because it had been a long time since we heard caliborn and jake do the same gag but it feels like they tried to capture that same energy with vriska calling tavros a "pussy" in this chapter and it fell flat. and it felt just as unnatural for a troll to say the word "pussy" as it did for her to say the word "pedophile". i think what makes alternia and its traumatic knock-on effects so effective is that it's often more insidious than it is explicit; trolls barely have the language to describe all the institutionalised neglect and abuse that is happening around them all the time because to them it's just how the world works! yeah sollux has that line about sex offenders and schools, but i think that basically serves to illustrate my point, because for the most part we all seem to understand that trolls don't have what we would be able to identify as "school" either: sexual abuse and education are concepts that, in the world of homestuck, exist entirely in the abstract; tropes to be evoked but not things that ever actually happen.

that being said, alternia is designed to reflect the structure of homestuck as a whole, and the reason alternia doesn't have sex offenders or schools is because homestuck in general does not explicitly concern itself with these topics. we understand that escaping homestuck and settling down on Earth C means settling down in the "real world", replacing the threat of time-travelling demons with real struggles and real problems, and as a continuation of the homestuck epilogues hs2 naturally IS going to continue to touch on sex and politics and all the other stuff that was delegated mostly to the subtextual in the original comic. i think the structure of this chapter even kind of alludes to this; tavros and erisol beckon vriska to relax for a moment and play childish games with them like she used to do when she was a kid on alternia, but by choosing to forge on ahead with her personal growth vriska is immediately confronted with the fact that becoming an adult is NOT like a webcomic, it's NOT all allegories and RPG battles; it can be sick and it can be hurtful and it can stop you right in your tracks just as you thought you were "making progress" toward "winning".

i just feel that by having vriska apply Earth C vocabulary to an Alternian experience right off the bat, we've skipped over a key part of her transition from homestuck to the real world. would this chapter have been any easier to stomach if it had been about vriska coming to grips with the fact that scratch was a predator in the first place? no, of course not LOL. i think my gripe here might literally just be with the word choice. like i believe the writers have it in them to express what they were trying to express here in a much more interesting way than simply having vriska say "lol he's a pedophile". yes, addressing something literally that has only ever been mentioned before in symbols and whispers is part of the impact of this update, but i don't think that has to come at the expense of the dialogue actually feeling like it belongs in the mouths of these characters

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #44 – The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon

This was a book I went into with no hand holding or preconceptions, and so I very much dove into the deep end of the pool. This is, frankly, a mess - but a beautiful one. There’s a lot to love, a lot of meat to chew on; but Candon’s reach really does exceed her grasp in ways that show, and I cannot blame anyone in the slightest for finding the narrative alienating or hard to follow. But shoot for the moon and you still end up among the stars, right?

The book follows Sunai, a deeply traumatized drifter and guide, who absolutely never got over the apocalyptic collapse of the AI-governed city he grew up in – quite literally, as he was interfaced with the AI-god at the time, and has spent the decades since hiding his nature as a Relic despite his stubborn refusal to age and tendency to heal from all injuries in a matter of minutes. Should his nature be known, he would be conscripted as the pilot and adhesive for a towering killer mech, and used to protect and oppress the new city now growing in the ruins of the old. Instead he fled half-way across the world and spends his days helping salvagers and refugees and his nights on drunken benders. After receiving a letter from his past he goes on a particularly intense one of those, and wakes up having both slept with and accepted a job from Veyadi, a former Archivist of the same AI who he’s clearly already told too much. Despite his heroic efforts to avoid honest conversations or emotional connections, from there he’s dragged straight back into the world of dead gods and killer science.

This is a book that hits the ground running and never stops, without much in the way of care about whether you’re able to keep up. The setting has both history and politics that are clearly important but are never explained beyond the bits that are directly relevant, with the expectation that you’ll figure the rest out through context clues (or not). There’s all manner of words being used as technical terms and basically none of them are ever actually defined. Sunai spends half the book explicitly trying to head off or avoid revelation-heavy or important conversations and, while he might know what topic he’s evading by turning the conversation into a quickie, I at least did not. Which is something I enjoy, honestly – I felt I had a solid grasp on most things by the end, and the world was fascinating (if occasionally absurd) – but I really cannot hold it against anyone who checks out.

The narration doesn’t help, either. Technically speaking, the entire book is told from Sunai’s POV. He merely has an unusually porous consciousness, and so spends a large fraction of the book being directly spoken at by one of a couple different voices in his head, or else semi-conscious and seeing the world through one of several different people’s eyes. When he’s not just outright hallucinating or trapped in a VR simulation, or spiraling into flashbacks (some of which are even his). This I found harder to adapt to and more frustrating, and in many cases felt like Candon was trying to show off and not quite managing it, but when it worked it really did work (the playing with the narrative voice in the second act, especially).

The book’s most saliently about trauma and (failing to) deal with it. It is not especially subtle about how Sunai’s relic nature is just a literalization of how he latches on to the plans and hopes of others to avoid even considering the idea of what his own might look like, and makes no bones about making him the whole thing’s beating heart. The book, then, depends a great deal on how compelling you find him. Personally I found the broken wreck of a man endlessly endearing, even when he was also deeply frustrating to be stuck in the head of.

The book’s other characters fare less well, sadly. The other major characters, despite (or maybe because of) all the time spent looking through their eyes and ruminating on their motives, still end up feeling opaque and a bit arbitrary. There’s only so many world-shaking revelations you can layer on top of each other before they stop having much impact and you stop being that invested in the characters. Ruhi and Imaru especially suffered here, the former for having so many story beats stuffed into him he ended up feeling more like a plot device than a real character, the latter because she felt like the story highlighted her importance to Sunai and general significance and then didn’t really know what to do with her past a certain point. In both cases (and like, this is clearly intentional) you end up knowing quite a lot of what Sunai think of them and not that much about the characters themselves.

Veyadi does better, if not always consistently. His romance with Sunai (osculating between unhealthy coping mechanism FWBs and all-consuming devotion as the story progresses) is another of the book’s main throughlines and it largely worked for me – Sunai’s wilful refusal to accept either of their obvious feelings was well-done and didn’t last quite long enough to be frustrating, and it was always entertainingly unhealthy in one way or another. ‘adi’s character outside the romance is significantly more opaque. Partly for reasons of plot and preserving tension, but still – I ended the book caring that Sunai cared about it, but not really about him for his own sake.

I admit I feel personally let down by the ending less for what it does than what it teases at then fails to do. All that buildup and ominous foreshadowing about losing your identity and being subsumed and synthesized into a greater hole as the walls come down and in the end they and the remnant AI just end up being able to DM each other’s brains. My expectations of a perfect lyctorhood or even some original examination of codependent relationship realized as the literal synthesis of identities, entirely dashed.

The ending in general was also just, well, messy. Too many plates in the air, too much ambiguity and nuance that then needed to be forcefully resolved to tie things off, too much sublime technology and miraculous agency in conflict for the final result not to just feel arbitrary – especially since the neat resolution arrived at makes absolutely no sense at all unless the ‘AI’ in question was actually just some kind of incorporeal demon the whole time. The emotional beats do work, but the result feels like a bit less than the sum of its parts. But then I may need to accept that my standards for a good ending are just impossible for 99 books in 100 to hope meeting.

Still, mess aside a thoroughly enjoyable read and one I’m deeply sad doesn’t seem to have gotten more attention. Though it also definitely doesn’t need to be the first in a series (many such cases, these days).

[huiyi07]

It’s been a hot minute since sun and the star’s release and I can finally come out and say it I think: it was mid af (at least in terms of those who expected more adventure)

Anyway disclaimer real quick, esp since it’s pride month AHAHAHA but I know next to nothing about Mark Oshiro other than they’re a cool person who writes lots of black and Latina subject material, and LGBTQ focused novels for YA audiences which is like. As you should, since their novels focus on real issues and can really open young readers’ minds, but I think one of the most glaring issues is that Rick chose to co-write it with them as an attempt to understand the lgbtq+ audiences more, which obviously is great and something we should applaud yeah like genuinely thank you Rick for doing what like every other mainstream media never does

and again, I’ve never read any of Mark’s original books and I definitely can’t say they’re a bad writer; but their writing style is definitely a lot younger (?) if that makes sense because like there was such an oddly foreign presence in the book, especially the relationship heavy scenes felt straight out of a fanfiction and you could kinda guess which parts Rick or Mark wrote fs 😭😭 and really that’s not an issue, but an author as young as Mark would ofc write things differently than Rick and it could very well clash when you bring them together

Anyway I think a lot of us agreed that a ton of it kinda felt OOC and I really don’t think we can blame Mark for trying to add the rep we needed, even though it is 99% probably the result of co writing it with someone completely new to writing the Percy Jackson universe- and I wouldn’t go as far as to say Mark shouldn’t have contributed, no, but as for the writing itself, I would’ve loved to see Rick’s slightly more subtle (well aside from throwing 2 people into a lake to make out) takes on romance and more reliance on adventure, not relationship to carry the book

not sure what my point is here but, basically, thank you Mark and Rick for trying and doing pretty okay actually, but I think we were taken aback and not in a great way by the sudden departure of how these books usually go

[turbulentscrawl]

i haven't seen lots of edgar content lately,, maybe general hcs for edgar valden if you can? :D

👌

-Edgar is a tunnel-visioned, broken-hearted creator who spends most of his energy seeking out the meaning of life and a reason to live. After the death of his mother and sister, he gave up on fulfillment through love or friendship, and now appreciates the world only through his art. Otherwise, he is apathetic. He does remain cordial with people, though, like his mother taught him to be.

-Edgar is an observer in most senses of the word. He rarely cares to devote energy to conversation himself, so he watches and listens instead. He doesn’t have much remaining interest in participating in the ‘game’ that is society, or the subtle mind-games it requires, but he is intrigued by other people’s reactions to them. When he does interact with others, he expects it to be strait-laced. Anything else is a waste of his time. (In short, he’s nosey. He enjoys knowing all the gossip but very rarely spreads it himself.)

-In that same vein, if Edgar has a specific opinion on something, you know it’s because that something has inspired him in some way. Edgar is a Centrist and does not hold very strong views of political or social situations one way or the other. In general, he thinks it’s best to let people do what they want, so long as it doesn’t interfere with what he or anyone else wants.

-Since the betrayal of his master, he’s developed a strikingly low tolerance for interruptions and interference. Edgar’s artistic muse is the most important thing in life to him, and he’s already lost it once. He’s not willing to lose it again, and does not give a damn about what anyone else thinks about his methods of maintaining it.

-Edgar was used by people for so long for his artistic skills that he has a hard time connecting with anyone who’s first interest in him relates to that. Ironically, with time Edgar gets along well with people like Kevin, who was confrontational and distrusting of Edgar in the beginning. Kevin did not give a fuck about Edgar’s art, and disliked him for some entirely different principal. And his art neither salvaged Kevin’s opinion nor won him over when they were finally on neutral terms. People like that can be trusted to be genuine, as far as Edgar is concerned, and frankly Edgar doesn’t see conflict as a dealbreaker for friendships or relationships. Disagreements happen.

-He’s physically weak—this boy has never seen a day of recreational exercise in his life. He is, however, not squeamish or easily disgusted. He dislikes what he perceives as ugliness, but has no issues witnessing or interacting with dirt, grime, or gore. He’s also not easily frightened and tends to be one of the more level-headed survivors in matches. He holds a similar reverence to death as Aesop and isn’t afraid of dying in matches. Some little part of him wishes it could be permanent—as some final devotion to his art, his Swan Song.

-Edgar cross-dresses sometimes. He needs no particular reason for it, as far as he’s concerned, but if you must know it just comes down to ‘he likes what he likes.’ And he likes flowy skirts. He’s not the type to let the gender roles of a society he’s not even part of anymore dictate what he wears. Were he alive in a modern world, he may identity as Agender. He doesn’t care much about gender and just presents however he feels like on a given day.

-Outside of his art studio and bedroom, Edgar is terrible at keeping track of things. He’s blind to anything he sets down outside of those two spaces, it simply no longer exists to him. Other people in the manor are often returning his things to him (especially Joker, who has a knack for finding things without even knowing they were lost.)

-When he was younger, he was taught several other skills that were normal for young men of high class. Piano and dancing, for instance. he didn't like them enough to practice much after his mother died, but he's still decent at them.

-Edgar has commandeered several hallways of the manor to hang his art. He’ll probably take over more later—he’s got an eternity to make his art, after all.