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a-student-out-of-time · 4 years ago

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Rambling about V3 Again

Today I saw a really interesting quote from author Brandon Sanderson and it honestly got me thinking. He talked about what he considers the single worst thing you can do with critique in writing, and that’s if a critic “tries to make your story into one they would write, rather a better version of one you want to write.”

That got me thinking about V3.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that V3 is a very polarizing game, and I’ve seen many people talk about how they would’ve preferred to see the story play out, from character arcs to deaths to story conclusions. And while I do honestly enjoy seeing alternative perspectives and takes and AU’s, I feel like a lot about the game, what it’s trying to say and be, is skewed by those ideals.

I’m not saying that the critiques about the game are invalid, because there are a fair share of flaws with the game. What I am saying is that we end up talking so much about what we wish V3 could’ve been that what V3 was trying to be often ends up lost in that, and I want to talk about it.

It wasn’t until I really saw this quote that I was able to articulate all my likes and dislikes about the game and the reactions to it into a cohesive whole, which is what I’d like to do here.

So let’s ask this: what was V3 really trying to be?

Let’s start from the game’s theme: the relationship between truth and lies. This is best exemplified by the fact that you have the option to lie during trials, that you can use deception to find the truth. That’s a very different take from the previous games, where hope was associated with finding and confronting the truth.

Kokichi is another example, as he’s a self-admitted liar who claims to lead a criminal organization and it’s hard to tell exactly what he’s thinking or saying. Yet Kokichi actually helps bring the group to several truths: he helps find the culprit in trials, he reveals Maki’s identity as the Ultimate Assassin, tells the truth about Gonta murdering Miu and it’s thanks to his actions that the group later discovers the reality of their situation.

Throughout their journey, the group is confronted by numerous truths they don’t want to acknowledge, even refusing to do so and attacking people who continue to push them through. And with every revelation, there’s always those lingering details that don’t really make a lot of sense.

Let’s look at the game’s main narrative. At the start of the game, Kaede remembers she was kidnapped in broad daylight, thrown into a van, and brought to some abandoned school with a bunch of other people. She doesn’t act like a particularly nice person and is dressed differently, at least until the Monokubs arrive and give everyone their new clothes and memories. From that point, the narrative shifts considerably.

Kaede is suddenly an outgoing, optimistic leader and Shuichi is a sullen, withdrawn detective who serves as her deuteragonist for Chapter 1. She’s resolved to escape the Killing Game and tries to rally the group together. However, when her methods don’t prove successful and they start drifting away from her, she considers saving them by any means necessary and goes so far as to attempt murder against the mastermind. When that happens, she’s found guilty and executed, leaving Shuichi to take up her role as protagonist.

As you go through the game, using devices called flashback lights that apparently reawaken lost memories, you learn more and more about the reason that the group was brought here: the Gofer Project. When meteors began raining down on earth, all seemed lost until they established this project to send a group of survivors into space to colonize a new planet. A group of Ultimates.

They had established early on that Ultimates have even greater rights in this world: they’re the only ones allowed to vote and hold office. As the meteors came down and the news of this project got out, some people formed a cult that believed it was divine judgement and that mankind should be destroyed. That’s when they began the Ultimate Hunt, pursuing the candidates for the Gofer Project across the world. The Ultimates, with no other way out, decided to erase their memories of talent and live their last days as normal people.

To protect them, the people in charge spread a false story that the Ultimates had died, even holding a fake funeral for them and sent them into space secretly. However, while everyone was in cold sleep, one member of the cult- Kokichi- had sneaked aboard and piloted the ship back to the ruined and now inhospitable earth. They have no way back and no way to survive outside, and thanks to Kokichi’s claims to be the mastermind, they’ve been killing each for nothing. The group ultimately loses hope.

However, they’re resolved to continue on in their fight against the mastermind when they find a flashback light that reveals they weren’t just any ultimates: they were the next generation of ultimates from Hope’s Peak Academy. It wasn’t really the meteorites that got everyone, it was an alien virus that pushed mankind to the brink of extinction. That the cult that rose in the wake of this was Ultimate Despair.

That seems like a definitive way to link this game with its predecessors...until you really begin to stop and pick it apart. If this was about saving mankind, why did nobody have their memories right away? Why would you only bring 16 people? Why students who don’t make them suited to colonization? Why people like a death row inmate, a serial killer, a self-proclaimed liar and criminal, and an assassin?

Furthermore, going through many Fte’s highlights how much of the characters’ backstories seem very out there. Gonta wasn’t raised by wolves but a race of dinosaur people living in the woods, Kirumi is so hyper-competent that she became prime minister during the meteor crisis, Korekiyo’s killed almost 100 women and yet has never been caught, Maki can attend high school despite Japanese orphanages being too underfunded for kids to usually attend, Tenko’s neo-aikido breaks all the rules of traditional aikido and she's impulsive, has low pain tolerance, and disregards fair rules, none of which are very befitting of a martial artist.

And to conclude, even I thought that the reveal of their connection to Hope’s Peak felt very fanficy and out there, especially when the game had made no references or implications of it beforehand. But the reason for all of this is simple and effective:

None of this is real. It’s all staged.

Chapter 6 reveals that everything from their identities to the outside world they thought they knew was all just a fabrication. In truth, Tsumugi shows herself as the mastermind and that they’re actually in the 53rd season of an in-universe show called Danganronpa. Something alluded to even in the beginning of the game with the Team Danganronpa logo. This moment was very make or break for a lot of people, but let’s treat it fairly.

According to Tsumugi, the outside world has become a peaceful, boring place and Danganronpa is the only source of real entertainment the people have. A place where people literally come to have their identities replaced with those of Ultimates and then made to kill each other. This, as it turns out, was an outgrowth of the actual series we’d played before. A game that’s gone over 53 times.

This revelation is devastating for the characters. The lives and memories they’d known were all fabrications, which Tsumugi claims to have intentionally written. The Flashback lights were designed to implant fake memories to manipulate them, which is why that Hope’s Peak connection was set up after everyone gave up following the reveal of the outside world. A truth that could lead the world to despair, a lie that could lead the world to hope.

She even goes so far as to show everyone’s audition tapes, claiming that Kaede, Kaito, and Shuichi himself were willing to participate in the killings out of sheer misanthropy, popularity, and morbid excitement

Kiibo is also revealed to be the audience’s means of interacting with the game, able to carry out their wishes and can even be hijacked and used as a way to fight against the characters’ decisions.

In the end, Tsumugi claims that the ongoing battle of hope vs despair needs to continue in perpetuity and that the survivors need to sacrifice someone, since only two people can survive Danganronpa. Shuichi, however, convinces Maki and Himiko not to vote for anyone and actually convinces the in-universe audience to give up on the series. Kiibo then blows the set to hell and allows Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko the chance to escape and see the world outside and what sort of influence they could have.

Now, let’s this break this down piece by piece here, because I feel like this part of the game is often conflated. Often I’ve seen people say that Chapter 6 is a giant middle finger to fans of the series, that nothing about the series really mattered, or that the flaws of the game can simply be attributed to bad writing on the creator’s part.

I honestly used to be in that camp myself, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I feel those statements don’t hold up to scrutiny. We often conflate writing and narrative decisions we don’t like with bad writing. However, if the creator deliberately wants the narrative to move in that direction and has made intentional foreshadowing, references, and motivations that match it, we can’t simply equate that with it being “badly written.”

It’s not bad simply because we would’ve preferred they do something different. There’s a lot of very acclaimed books out there that I’ll admit I don’t care for because of their narrative decisions, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say they’re badly-written.

Furthermore, if something intentionally doesn’t make sense in-story, that is not bad writing. That is purposeful on the part of the creator, not a plot hole. The Gofer Project is not supposed to be a logical narrative, it’s meant to serve V3′s role: deconstruction of the nature of the series. It does this in many different ways:

Sequelization: 53 is a ridiculous amount of entries in a franchise and as I’m sure we’re all aware, as the number of entries goes up, the writing quality tends to go down. The Gofer Project story was purposefully meant to be nonsensical because it’s a story in an in-universe franchise that jumped the shark long ago.

A lot of people found it confusing or ridiculous that Shuichi and Kaede would have a romantic connection despite knowing each other barely a few days. That’s also the point; quick romances are a convenient narrative device to establish a means for character growth, followed by fridging her, a bad narrative trope designed to propel Shuichi toward development. Tsumugi even said as much during Chapter 6.

Similarly, Maki’s role in the story and her feelings for Kaito were reminiscent of that as well, with him helping her come out of her shell.

When you go back, you can see Danganronpa is loaded with references to other series. Tsumugi is an obsessive otaku and went so far as to fill the entire story with deliberate references and callbacks to things she enjoys.

The Monokubs are deliberate references to executive decisions to add more marketable and merchandisable characters as the series drags on.

The fact that there are (supposedly) people willing to sign up for a killing game deconstructs the idea that some in the fandom may have had. That is, actually being in a killing game would not be fun or exciting, but horrific and traumatizing. Most of us wouldn’t be badass detectives or heroes, we’d be scared out of our minds, afraid, and want to find a way out.

Furthermore, Shuichi being repeatedly told that he’s just a fictional character and that his role is to be the protagonist, to go through hardships and come out stronger for the audience’s entertainment pisses him off so much that he wants no part of it.

The climax is ultimately a deconstruction of what the series is famous for: the battle of hope vs. despair. In-universe, this has been reduced down to a simple narrative where the audience wants the same thing again and again: to see hope win in the end. Because hope keeps winning, the audience keeps wanting more. It’s become so formulaic that the audience doesn’t want to break out of its shell and just wants to see it over and over.

The final PTA against Kiibo is not meant to be an insult to the audience, but a representation of fighting against toxicity and entitlement in the fanbase, especially the ones that don’t want change. It’s not saying “you’re stupid for liking this series,” it’s saying “don’t be like these people.”

And how does the game? An unsatisfying ending that’s so bad that it drives the audience to give up on the show, finally allowing the killing to stop. Tsumugi decides she can’t live in a world without her favorite show and decides to die.

And that brings me to what I think is the ultimate thing that people conflate about the ending: that it’s all fiction, so nothing about it matters. That the entire franchise was fake, so it’s not worth your time.

That’s exactly the opposite of what V3 is trying to say.

First, Tsumugi is a completely unreliable narrator. The kind of person who let fiction consume her entire life, yet she believes it can’t change reality. She’s a liar and a hypocrite, and there’s no way of knowing if anything she says about the outside world is even true. It could be like she says or it might not be.

The fact that they have technology that can remove memories and add fake ones adds an entire dimension of ambiguity to everything she says, especially when you consider how the beginning of the game does not match up with what she says. We have no idea what the kids were really like before the killing game, so why should we believe anything she says?

And how can we be certain of her claims that she just wrote everything as planned? Kokichi and Kaito managed to put together a plan that completely threw her and Monokuma for a loop

Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko ultimately choosing to take the words of Kaede, Kaito, and Tenko to heart, even if they were part of a fictional narrative, is proof that they still had an influence on the trio. They choose to take something meaningful from their experiences regardless of the reality of their situation. And that’s something we all do.

The media we consume has an influence over who we are as people, and it’s part of why so many of us have such strong attachments to works we love. They were often influential in help shape who we are as people now, for good and for ill, and it’s important to take that into account.

V3′s message is that yes, that is important, and that you should read and enjoy stories and fiction, just as long as you don’t let it consume your life. They can influence you and even the world at large, and so it’s our responsibility as writers, artists, and creators to use that influence positively, to use the medium as a way to change the world for the better. That the only way for stale franchises that we’re tired of seeing over and over is to demand change, even if that means walking out on them. That the only way for things to change is for us to take action and demand change.

And by the end, we may not see immediate results, but we can at least work hard at trying to bring them about. V3 ends with Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko facing an uncertain future in a world they really know nothing about, but hopeful that their actions can and will change the world for the better. Real life doesn’t have solid, satisfying conclusions and it always doesn’t play out like a story, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on ever finding something satisfying or hopeful out there.

This, by no means, is me saying that V3 is a flawless story. I can point to numerous critiques that I still think hold water. However, Sanderson’s point is that we shouldn’t criticize a work based on what we wish it was rather than how it is and what it was trying to do.

I know there’s a lot about the story that bothers people, I know there’s a lot that wasn’t polished and a lot that feels uncomfortable and hard to swallow. Like Shuichi, coming out feeling confused, lost, unsure of what to do, but choosing to see merit and things to take to heart even in a story that turned out to be full of lies and uncomfortable truths.

If you didn’t enjoy V3, I wouldn’t force you to enjoy it. If you did love it, then you should love it. These are all just my thoughts on a story that, as time goes on, honestly feels more and more relevant to me.

#mod talks #a student out of time #mod rambles #danganronpa v3 #v3

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arofili · 5 years ago

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Cause & Consequence (ch5 alt draft)

Since some people expressed interest, here you go! @himrings :)

This is from the POV of Ryndil, my Haleth/Caranthir baby, and takes place directly after the Nirnaeth after the Feanorians fled to Caranthir’s stronghold in Amon Ereb. I intended it to be part of Cause and Consequence ch5, but having reread it now after I’ve written ch1 of that fic, I know I’ll have to rewrite most of it to fit the Caranthir characterization as well as the general tone. This confrontation will happen, and there are parts of it I’ll probably keep, but overall I’m gonna have to change most of it.

Still, I had a lot of fun with the arguing Feanorians, especially Maedhros who is less “in denial about Fingon’s death and crumbling entirely as a person” and more “completely Does Not Care about anything now that Fingon is dead, would be happy to watch the world burn because Nothing Matters, but still has his wits about him.” and I really let myself go off with my headcanons! I’ll have a note at the bottom explaining some of them :)

“Who are you?” demanded Celegorm.

Rýndil glared up at him, undaunted by his blood-stained figure and the astonished looks of his brothers.

“I am Rýndil,” they proclaimed. “Rýndil of Brethil.”

“Didn’t I see you in the fighting?” one of the twins asked suspiciously. “You aren’t one of the Accursed’s people, are you?”

“I’m from Brethil,” they said, affronted. “I’m one of the Haladin!”

“Regardless, this is no place for mortals,” Maglor said flatly. “You do know who we are, don’t you, Rýndil of Brethil?”

A shiver ran down their spine. Seven tall elf-lords, gaunt and scarred and bloody in the aftermath of a disastrous battle. Maedhros, the eldest, was a shell of the glorious figure he’d been on the battlefield; they weren’t sure if he was even awake, his eyes were so glassy and unfocused. Grief, they supposed. They’d heard the rumors about him and the High King, after all.

Maglor, leading in his place, trembling despite the firmness in his golden voice. Celegorm, bitter and angry and mean despite his fair features. Curufin, his dark shadow, flint in his eyes and venom on his tongue. Amrod and Amras, mirroring each other in their distrustful glares. And yet despite the blood and dirt and pain, a light shone from each of them. These were men to be feared, men to be worshipped.

And then there was him. Caranthir the Dark. Rýndil’s father, the blood flowing through their veins, the reason they were here in the first place. Gaunt and red-faced, the weary host of his defeated brothers, he had scarcely stopped moving about and making room for them since they arrived.

As much as Rýndil was of the Haladin, as much as they were the child of Haleth, they were bound to this family and people also.

Rýndil stuck their chin out and glared directly at the unobservant Caranthir. “I know who you are,” they said evenly. “You are the Fëanorians. Well, so am I.”

There was a horrid pause, in which Rýndil wasn’t sure if they were going to be sliced open from gut to throat or welcomed with open arms. Even those that hadn’t been staring at them before turned to look at them with open mouths.

“They’re not mine,” said a wry voice at last. Everyone turned to stare at Maedhros, speaking his first words since their arrival.

“What?” he said. “Fingon is—he’s dead. No point in hiding it any more. Yes, I was sleeping with him. We were in love. You’re all shocked, I know—yes, Curvo, I was being sarcastic, don’t even start, I’m well aware that we were the worst-kept secret in Beleriand.”

“More like all of Arda,” muttered Maglor.

Maedhros ignored him. “My lover is dead,” he said, a deep and righteous grief rumbling in his chest. “And so. This bastard child. Is. Not. Mine.”

Bastard! Rýndil recoiled. They knew it was true, knew that the Fëanorians could see the truth of their relation but also the truth of its illegitimacy in the way that elves had. The way Rýndil only partially understood, like they only partially understood everything about who they were.

No one else spoke. Maedhros stuck his feet up on the table, crossing his arms. “I’m done with dancing around unfortunate subjects,” he said. “Whoever of you bed some mortal woman, fess up. I faced my scandal, time for you all to face yours.”

Still no one moved, until Maglor blurted out, “I know you’re looking to me, Nelyo, but Arasdil’s children had other fathers.”

“What?” Curufin yelped. “You slept with a mortal? And you mocked me for being faithless to Quilla with Finrod! What would Ezellë think of this, at least I didn’t stoop that low—”

“This is rich,” Maedhros drawled, “coming from the person who would never shut up about me being a cousin-fucker.”

“Look, Finrod was the whore, look at him, he had Edrahil and Bëor and at least two of those dwarves, and besides he was already fucking Turgon well before me—”

“I’m asexual,” Amrod said, raising his hands and stepping backward. “It wasn’t me.”

“And unlike some of you, I remember my marriage vows,” Amras snapped. “Thennes may have died in the Bragollach, but if we get out of this blasted Oath and reunite in Aman I’ll be doing it on a clean conscience!”

“Tyelko?” Maglor demanded.

“Hell if I know,” Celegorm growled. “I’m not the type to get tied down—”

“Valar damn it, Tyelko, how many times have we told you—”

Rýndil watched, wide-eyed, as the Fëanorians fell apart into bickering about their various sexual exploits, bringing up long-buried grievances while Maedhros watched with a morbid amusement. Morbid, that was the right word for him; just looking at him unsettled them.

Throughout all this, Caranthir stayed silent in the shadows of his own home, his face growing more and more red. Rýndil looked at him, crossing their arms. They weren’t going to say anything—this was his fault.

“I think I’d know if they were my kid, though,” Celegorm argued. “Has Tyelpë been sleeping around?”

“How the fuck should I know?!” Curufin snarled. “Ever since you fucked up our perfectly good plan with the witch of Doriath I haven’t seen hide nor hair of my unfortunate whelp!”

“I fucked it up?” Celegorm shouted. “Really now?! You sending your boyfriend off to his death had nothing to do with that?”

“It was me,” Caranthir said quietly. The others didn’t seem to hear him at first, though Rýndil saw Maedhros’ eyebrows shoot upward at the confession. “I’m their father.”

Slowly, the Fëanorians fell silent, looking to their middlest brother in astonishment.

“Moryo!” Maglor groaned. “Of all of us, only Ambarussa were less likely!”

“And me, don’t kid yourselves,” Maedhros interrupted. “I had my money on one of the ‘Three Cs’ as I hear they’re calling you all in Dor-lómin. Though I doubt Dor-lómin will be around for much longer.”

“Don’t group me in with those idiots,” Caranthir said scornfully. “Yes, I fathered the brat.”

“I’m not a fucking brat,” Rýndil growled. “And I may be a bastard, but that’s to your shame, not mine, Father. My mother’s people treat me very well.”

“Who is the mother?” Amras asked. “I never pinned you for the romantic type, Moryo.”

“Haleth wasn’t, either,” Caranthir said glumly. “She...conquered me, I suppose. I didn’t even realize that she got a child out of the exchange until I met Rýndil several years later. And frankly, they’re so unimpressive, even for a peredhel, that I’d forgotten about them until—”

Rýndil sprang across the room and bitch-slapped Caranthir to the ground. “Fuck off,” they spat, hitting him where it hurt. “My mother was right to send you away when she did. You’re worthless, all of you Noldor princes, bringing only ruin to this land and blaming it on everyone but yourselves. Look at who brought Beleriand to ashes in this last battle—it wasn’t the Sindar, nor the Edain! It was you lot and your double-crossing friends! And maybe I’m an unanticipated, unimpressive peredhel, but everything I can claim is thanks to Haleth, not you. I may be a Fëanorian, but I’m worth seven of you.” They curled their lip. “And for the record, uncles, I think Celebrimbor had the right idea.”

They gave the stunned Caranthir one more knee to the groin and stormed out of the room. “Thanks for giving me a place to spend the night,” they called as they left, “and for letting me get that off my chest.”

“I like them,” Maedhros observed sardonically once Rýndil had rounded the corner. They hung by the doorway, catching their breath and trying to regain their composure. “They’re not afraid to tell you all the truth.”

“I’ll remind you who led this Union of peoples that failed so disastrously,” Caranthir hissed, “and if tonight has proved anything, it’s that Ambarussa have the right way of looking at things.”

Rýndil didn’t know if they would go that far, but they smiled grimly. So much for finding a place with their father’s people—but at least this venture hadn’t been uneventful.

A/N: So really this turned out to be more of a sequel to “Unanticipated” than part of C&C - my Halenthir characterization there is fairly antagonistic and playful, but after thinking about it I don’t think Caranthir is actually...ashamed of Ryndil, or particularly regretful of their existence, he just...doesn’t know what to do with/about them. So I’ll tone down his disdain for the actual fic, because I don’t think this is really representative of how he feels anymore.

A lot of my headcanons for the Feanorians and their relationships showed up here! I went into more detail about some of that in my longfic “ATATYA.” That fic, however, is not set in the same universe as this one; Ryndil is discussed in Moryo’s chapters of “ATATYA” but he didn’t actually know they existed until after his rebirth in that story, where he does know here.

There are references to Quilla and Ezelle; these are my OCs for Curufin and Maglor’s wives, respectively.

I mentioned Amras’ wife Thennes in this fic - she’s another character discussed in “ATATYA,” but her fate is different here than in that fic. Here, she dies in the Dagor Bragollach instead of absconding with Elured and Elurin after the Second Kinslaying. I have some headcanons about her relationship with the Ambarussa and how that plays out in both fics; one of these days I’ll get around to writing them.

Someone else I mentioned was Arasdil, a mortal lover of Maglor’s. That relationship was something I was workshopping around the time of writing “ATATYA,” but I ultimately ended up going with a different version of his life in my fic “Sins and Sorrows,” which is set in the same verse. I still think she existed, but they weren’t married like I originally envisioned. Basically, Arasdil was a woman of the house of Beor that Maglor rescued from an abusive marriage and had a relationship with. His comment about her children having “other fathers” is just that - he slept with her, but she never had his child. This is an affair that Maedhros knew about, but the rest of his brothers didn’t until this moment.

There’s a lot of swearing here that I’ll probably end up toning down, and I don’t think I’ll be as explicit with Amrod’s line about him being asexual, though that’ll still be there in spirit. And by the end, with Ryndil “bitch-slapping” their father and just Going Off at him and his brothers - I don’t think that would fly in actuality, but it was too fun to resist, tbh.

Also, the main thing this fic is missing is Ryndil’s dog!! They always have a dog with them - though perhaps Tallagar also died in the Nirnaeth.... :(

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this snippet, and if you haven’t checked out the actual fic, you should definitely do that!! :)

#silmarillion #caranthir #feanorians #halenthir #silm fic #oc ryndil #cause and consequence #unanticipated #oc thennes #oc arasdil #atatya #sins and sorrows #this is not FR verse tho #my fic #my writing #tefain nin #himrings

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kaz3313 · 5 years ago

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Crowley is a totally very bad demon who does very demonish things. Like take care of a bunch of orphans

Inspired by one of @rainydaydecaf s text post! I wrote this in a day

Also thank you @thetimtimjr for tagging me in the post that inspired this!

( I have only seen to episode 3 so no spoilers in the tags or replies please! Thank you)

Tw: though this is mostly fluffy comedy stuff there is a sucide attempt (unsuccessfully). Also if anyone needs this tagged as anything feel free to ask as always!

(Please reblog and hope you enjoy 😊)

"Misstah Crowley are we there yet?" One of the children tugs at the demons clothes.

"I already told you; were not going anywhere. Were waiting for the storm to pass," he gently pushes the child away but he comes back to his side.

"When is the storm gonna pass then? Can it be now?"

"I don't know kid, now butt off before you're tossed into the sea," Crowley growls. At first a face of horror passes over the kid but it quickly leaves as another child pipes up.

"He won't throw you overboard, Asher, nothing to worry about," She's older than the other but no more than 14.

"I can-" Crowley begins but stops hearing one of the many infants start crying.It took him two hours to rock them all to sleep. "Oh look what you did. Now they all will wake up,". He is right as babies wake up one after another crying in confusion or empathy, as it is rather hard to tell which is which at such a young age, and Crowley desperately tries to calm down each while simultaneously answering the older children's questions.

"So whose ship is this?" A girl in rags asks, he'll have to have Aziraphale miracle her some better clothes later.

"Noah's Arch," he whispers rocking two wailing infants, twins actually.

"Is he a friend of yours?" A boy who looks as well off as she did pipes up.

"Ehhh, I met him once or twice," the meetings Crowley is referring too is when he passed the man by while tempting other people to acts of evil in his town.

"Is they're another arch?" The girl asks. A group of children has formed around some of them helping with the babies or toddlers but others just to listen to what he has to say. Odd to say the least; Crowly has definitely spoke to groups of people at a time, and many listened with such interest, but not often answer earnest questions. Much less earnest questions he's answering truthfully.

"No, no other arch," the one twin started fussing again. "Shut up," he says to the baby but instead of a harsh tone his voice is sing songish.

"Then where are all the parents at?"

"Alright enough questions, I didn't bring you on here to annoy me," Crowley hisses and more of the little ones wake up crying. Great, more to deal with.

"I'm bored,"

"I'm hungry,"

"Alright! Alright! Go-" He looks around. He could always have them mess with the animals but they could get eaten by a lion as well as get caught by Noah. No, keeping them down here is a necessity but he couldn't constantly entertain them. Then Aziraphale catches his eye. He's in the corner reading various books and scrolls he brought with him on the arch. How he could bring those instead of children Crowley will never understand (and quite frankly even though he wished to confront him about it he also didn't want to hear about the 'ineffable' or have him get fussier than the babies and run away for a century). "You see Aziraphale- Yeah, go bother him. He'll read you stories," Many of the children rushed toward the unsuspecting angel and the ones who remained Crowley could manage.

"Cr-crowley?" It is late at night, despite not needing to sleep both demon and angel are exhausted, and he doesn't expect one of the children to wake so soon. Of course he doesn't really know what to expect with kids.

"Yes," Crowley responds.Being a demon, he can see in the dark and her expression of fear is clear. "What are you doing up? It's bad enough I have to feed those little things every hour do I have to do that with you?" At that she gives a small smile.

"No, nothing like that. I just had a scary dream is all,"

"Ah, those happen," Crowley has put nightmares in many a mind before, mostly to sway them, but never in a child's.

"It was about the arch flooding cause there were too many people. It sunk to the bottom of the sea and the fish ate everyone's bones," she states her eyes wide as she recalls the fake memory.

"Morbid," Crowley replies biting his lip not sure how to comfort the child. "Arch is really sturdy though. The instructions to build this thing came straight from God so if it sinks that's on heavens hands,".

"It sank cause we're not supposed to be on here. We aren't are we?" Her voice cracks and tears start to roll down her cheeks.

"Now don't- come on sit here," he taps the place beside him and she follows his instructions. "Everything is uh, complicated to say the least. Whether you're supposed to be here or not depends on which side your looking on it from. But one thing, and the most important thing, is I wouldn't bring you on here for nothing. Like do you think I want to babysit for who knows how long while the storm of the century is outside if I didn't think it was necessary?"

"N-no, " she gives another shy smile and wipes her tears with the back of her hand. "I guess not,"

"Exactly, your obviously a smart kid. If I wasn't absolutely positive this stupid boat was going to hold I wouldn't have even tried," he says and she wraps her arms around in a hug. He pats her back not sure how else to respond.

"Thank you Mr. Crowley, that'll make my nightmares go away for sure! You're a saint!" She says chipperly and before he can correct her she skips off to bed.

"You're so very evil Crowley. What an evil deed reassuring a child," Azriphale says with a grin of his own.

"And how long have you been here? I thought you were taking to Noah and his "holy" family. Never mind, bug off angel. I'm always evil and saving this brats is against the divine plan so its evil," he reasons and the other just shakes his head reading yet again.

Feeding the kids is Crowley's least favorite parts (he had to do it at least three times! Not even Aziraphale ate that much) of the day. They were all whiny like usual only this time is 10 million times worse since they whined about not having enough food despite Crowley giving them as much as they could possibly need.

"She got more then me!" One kid yells pointing at a teen girl.

"Do you want more?" Crowley asks grabbing a piece of bread to give to him.

"Well, no but it's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair and actually this is a very small part of your life that will be fair so deal with it," Crowley snaps and the kid begins to cry. "Damn- Aziraphale!" He calls but sees the angel with his hands full as well as a toddler climbing him. He wouldn't be able to comfort the kid for a while.

"Kid, kid, listen. This is ridiculous. Just stop crying, you're fine. You're well fed and you aren't hurt and-" Crowley leans down but the kid continues to wail.

"I need to pee," A little girl says in his ear.

"Good to know," Crowley responds.

"I need to go now!" She yells and Crowley tilts his head away from her.

"Then go; you don't need my expertise you've done it plenty of times before," she whines again, kicks his shin, and walks away.

"Timothy is hungry," a teen hands him a baby while she calms down the still crying child.

"Does, Tim Tim need food? Hmmm, little pile of squishy flesh is hungry," Crowley asks reaching for the bottle of never ending milk. The baby cooks in response then hastily drinks the milk most of it going down his chin. "What a messy Tim Tim," he states as the baby sucks the milk down as if it's the last he'll ever have. He takes out a handkerchief cleaning up the giddy baby. "Out of everyone you've got to be the happiest baby. Did you know that? Did you know that, Tim Tim," At saying this Crowley heard a voice call his name and he looks up. Azriphale just mouths the words 'what a demonic demon Crowley is'.

"I'm the scariest demon in hell," Crowley tells the kids and most of them laugh excitedly.

"R-roar then! If your a demon roar like one!" A kid calls out.

"Roar? I'm a demon not a lion! I don't roar," he states.

"How do we know your a demon then? I think your just a weird kind man!" Another kid states.

"A man couldn't all bring us on an arch with plenty of food and drink. Nobody is that kind" A kid scolds the other " Mr. Crowley is just an embarrassed angel,"

"I'm not an angel!" But many kids already are murmuring in agreement of the severely misinformed kid. The actual angle in the room gives a small chuckle "I can turn into a snake; the one that tempted Adam and Eve!" Crowley states.

"Do it then! Snake! Snake!" The kids begin chanting the word. Crowley sighs closing his eyes and starts to form into the cold blooded creature.

"H-he a snake!" Most kids laugh in glee only a few run to Azriphale in fear. Crowley can hear a kid concerned that "Mr. Crowley got eaten by a snake". The angel is sure to reassure that Mr. Crowley did not get eaten by a snake instead he can turn into a snake. The younger ones don't exactly understand the concept and are happy to see Crowley in his usual form again.

"Only saving kids and teens huh? What about those who were on the edge of things?" An older teen guy asks while the kids eat there bread and listen to one of the other teen's stories. Besides Azriphale the charismatic storyteller has been the most help especially since in the past she had to take care of ten kids. She definitely is the most experienced.

"Not sure what you mean on the edge," Crowley replies sipping a bit of his wine.

"The day the storm came in, the same day you found me at the market, was my sister's 18 birthday," he states. Crowley doesn't say a word feeling the air thick with tension. "We were twins but my birthday was the next day...she wasn't brought here, was she?"

"...no," The teen, or rather the adult (though he still looked like a boy of maybe 16 at the most) stands up.

"Everyone is gone? My family, friends, mentors? My house, destroyed?" He asks but doesn't expect an answer. Instead he walks away, starting to go up to the deck.

"Aziraphale, one of the humans left," Crowley walks over saying in a hushed voice.

"Left?" Aziraphale questions.

"He went into the storm; seems really upset. Just check on him to make sure he doesn't get caught. I have babies to feed in a little bit so I'm asking you. And… I think you might be able to convince him to come down here," Crowley explains.

"Well alright but you owe me a lunch for this," Crowley rolls his eyes but nods agreeing to the favor.

Azriphale found the man getting pelted by rain while he stood on the edge of the ship. He didn't turn around yet he spoke at hearing the angel's footsteps.

"The world from end to end is empty and void of life. Completely wiped out except for this ship here. This ship that has a family, animals, and then about a hundred stow-away children," He says his voice monotone. Azriphale doesn't explain that many places were spared; it doesn't feel right to correct the distraught human."Do you know how many people were out there? I don't even know. But surely all those people didn't deserve death? They didn't deserve to be pushed into this raging sea and drowned when they're body tires of the condition. If God wants us dead couldn't we just be strikes down by a bolt of lightning? Why make us suffer?"

"The plan of the almighty is ineffable; even to me," Azriphale says then adds "But, against many odds, you're alive! So let's go back inside before your clothes get wetter," the human lets out a sad chuckle.

"And after? Once this passes I have no one. I'm alone in this world...God wants me dead? Was that part of the plan?"

"Well, a little bit but something plans go differently then expected especially with demonic intervention and-" Azriphale stops as he sees the human toss himself forward.

The angel's wings jut out and he swoops down to catch the spiraling human. It's an experience that sadly Azriphale has done many times. In total he's saved 1200 humans in the last century who've tried to end their life. Sometimes by spilling their poisonous drink or whispering encouraging words in their ears but only four in total has he caught. This man will most definitely be his fifth.

He reaches him grabbing on and pulling him upward. A moment later and the human would've plunged head first in the icy sea and if not killed by it would at the very least got a concussion.

"Now, now, it is not your time," Azriphale has his arms around the other's chest and can feel him shivering from the winds whipping around them. He positions his wings to shield the fragile being from the strongest winds.

"Apparently my time is past due; God wants me dead I'm just giving him his dues," He struggles in Azriphale's grasp but his grip doesn't loosen.

"Don't talk like that, let's dry you off and-"

"My sister would take care of the neighborhood kids. She'd feed them, she raised me and my brothers since she was ten. She taught us manners and we'd attended church every Sunday. We pray before every meal and even after. She stole from a man richer than a king with manners akin to a pig! That is her only crime and yet she's under many feet of unmerciful water dead to this cruel world! Was that fair? Should she have died, angel?" He yells out struggling against the other.

The man-no he really is just a boy- kicks with such force that Azriphale is forced to use a miracle. He falls asleep instantly no more shouting or protesting follows. He looks so peaceful sleeping, most humans do, and the angel frowns to himself. He'd awake just as agitated as before, perhaps even more, and could potentially try to commit suicide again.

Azriphale clicks his tongue thinking of a way to stop this humans distress. He said something about a sister did he not well...another miracle is performed; this time erasing all memories of her. It definitely wasn't his best miracle but couldn't be called his worst either.

"I'm so sorry," Azriphale mumbles out but over the roaring sea no one can hear him.

"You have wings? Does Mr. Crowley have some too?" A curious child asks touching Azriphale's feathers. A toddler to his right has decided the feathers are an excellent teething device and is trying to desperately get him off.

"Yes I do," Crowley says picking up the toddler presenting him a finger instead of the feathers he could choke on.

"Can we see?" Another asks walking over to him staring at his shoulders as if she could already see them.

"Maybe," He replies. "If you all are good for dinner and go to bed on time you can see them," Cheers follow Crowley's statement.

The baby babbles at Crowely and since no one else is around he babbles back at her. She giggles continuing 'talking' to him.

"I hear you; pretty cramped place huh? But right now you have to go to sleep; can you go to sleep?" The baby happily replies with nonsense. She's the last baby awake but it quite a stubborn one.

"Go to sleep, little talker and maybe for once I'll get a break," he sings a tuneless soft lullaby. "And with my break, I'll get to bother, Azriphale! And he'll just read his books, or eat his food, and ignore me, because he is gooooood,".

The baby closes her eyes but Crowley continues his made up song "Go to sleep, little babe, and hope we'll get off this ship that's driving me insane," he finishes with a few la la's and the baby is fast asleep.

"Papa?" A small toddler walks running into Crowley head on. He steps back before falling on his butt "Papa?" He asks again.

"Nope, not a Papa," Crowley says patting the confused child head. "Just a demon doing bad,"

"Papa!" He exclaims and Crowley sighs.

"Nope. Very disappointed you didn't get it the first time,"

"Papa!"

"Now this is a little excessive don't you think? How many times do I need to say no?" Crowley asks putting his hands on his hips. He might as well humor the toddler.

"Pa-pa! Papa! Papa!" He claps his hands.

"Can your Papa turn into a snake?" The boy nods. "Really? I doubt that. Can he strike fear into anything and everything?" Again he nods. "Is your dad a demon? If so I might know him,"

"Papa!" He claps again.

"Is your Papa's name Crowely?"

"Yes!"

"I don't think so," but the child giggles in response.

"What a good parent you make Crowley," Azriphale states grinning (and dare Crowley say the smile is devilish?).

"Papa!" The toddler exclaims to Azriphale and he goes bright red.

"It seems the little one doesn't have a big vocabulary,"

"So that's what it is angel?" Crowley gives his own grin. He nods in response.

Six days pass before the rain stops and the sun comes out; and just as Azriphale says a rainbow appears promising to never flood the world again.

Crowley can be thankful for that. He isn't sure he can take care of hundreds of kids again. Though with all the hugs they give him he can't complain too much.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #tw: sucide #sucide #sucide attempt #my writing #inspired by #long fic #long post #first time writing Good Omens!

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snorinlauren · 4 years ago

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The Best Horror Movies Streaming On Netflix Right Now

The number of digital platforms on which fans of horror movies can find a good scare is just as frightening as the films they have available to stream. In fact, there is even one that specializes in bringing the best the genre has to offer (and then some). Of course, for those who only have so much time and money at their disposal, settling on Netflix to help deliver the spooks would not be a mistake.

There are enough horror movies available on the popular platform to keep you streaming into the wee hours of the night, mainly because you will not be able to sleep. Among the many fears you would be facing during this binge with iconically creepy classics, modern masterpieces of the macabre, and even some of Netflix’s own ominous originals, one you should not have to worry about is the fear of disappointment.

That being said, we understand that some phobias are more challenging to get over than others, so allow us to be a beacon of despair and point you in the right direction of what the best horror movies currently available to stream on Netflix. We figured that 13 would be an appropriate number, starting with an influential cult favorite that arguably pioneered the “cabin in the woods” thriller.

The Evil Dead (1981)

A weekend getaway and an old cabin becomes an unrelenting nightmare for one man (Bruce Campbell) after his four friends are possessed by an ancient spirit that turns them into grotesque and cruel creatures.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Writer and director Sam Raimi became the patron saint of low budget indie horror with The Evil Dead, that remains a timeless classic of astonishing influence that spawned two campy sequels, a brilliantly brutal remake, and a hilarious TV series that serves as a perfect send-off for Bruce Campbell's chainsaw-handed hero, Ash Williams.

Stream The Evil Dead on Netflix here.

Poltergeist (1982)

A family seeks help when their youngest daughter is kidnapped by malevolent spirits that have invaded their suburban home.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: From producer Steven Spielberg and directed by The Texas Chainsaw Massacre creator Tobe Hooper (well, depending on who you talk to), Poltergeist is an essential haunted house picture for how it expertly taps into traumas that people of all ages an relate to and may lead you to develop new fears as well, such as television static, perhaps.

Stream Poltergeist on Netflix here.

Child’s Play (1988)

A single mother (Catherine Hicks) enlists the aid of a homicide detective (Chris Sarandon) after discovering that the doll she bought for her young son (Alex Vincent) is possessed by the soul of a dead serial killer (Brad Dourif).

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Before there was Annabelle, there was Chucky, who may not have been the first toy responsible for giving children nightmares, but certainly became every horror fan's favorite of that kind upon the release of Child's Play, a classic slasher but pokes great fun at modern commercialism.

Stream Child's Play on Netflix here.

The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

To catch a deranged murderer who skins his victims, ambitious FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Academy Award winner Jodie Foster) enlists Hannibal Lecter (Academy Award winner Anthony Hopkins), a former psychiatrist and notorious cannibal, to help get into the mind of a criminal.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: While the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences may prefer their choice for the Best Picture Oscar in 1992 not be called "horror," with Anthony Hopkins' chilling performance and breathlessly suspenseful direction by Jonathan Demme, it is hard to imagine The Silence of the Lambs in any other category.

Stream The Silence of the Lambs on Netflix here.

Candyman (1992)

A graduate student (Virginia Madsen) investigating Chicago myths for her college thesis becomes especially interested on the story of a supernatural entity with a hook for a hand whom locals believe can be summoned by saying his name five times.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Tony Todd created quite a "buzz" in black horror history as the title character of Candyman, a creation from legendary writer Clive Barker based on the deliciously creepy concept of an urban legend whose existence depends on those who believe in him.

Stream Candyman on Netflix here.

Insidious (2011)

After their eldest son (Ty Simpkins) inexplicably falls into something even doctors hesitate to call a coma, a family (led by Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne) begins to fall prey to a relentless evil that seems to follow them whenever they try to escape.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell, the dynamic duo behind Saw who have since gone onto great successes on their own, created an indelibly frightening new classic to the haunted house sub-genre with Insidious, particularly for a nearly unprecedented twist that might actually have you thankful when it keeps you up at night.

Stream Insidious on Netflix here.

Sinister (2012)

Desperate for another bestseller, a true crime writer (Ethan Hawke) moves his family into a house where a disturbing murder took place, which he plans to research for his latest masterpiece, only to learn that the truth behind the incident is much worse than he could have imagined.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Oscar-nominee Ethan Hawke became an unexpected "scream king" after playing the tragic hero of Sinister, from Doctor Strange and The Exorcism of Emily Rose director Scott Derrickson, which is, arguably, the most ferociously unsettling supernatural crime thriller ever made.

Stream Sinister on Netflix here.

Creep (2014)

An amateur filmmaker accepts a request over Craigslist to film a terminally ill man's final message to his son, but quickly comes to regret the decision when his host's progressively concerning actions lead him to question if he is the one about to expire.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Conceived by its own stars Mark Duplass and Patrick Brice (the latter of which also directs), Creep is an underrated found footage gem that mostly lives up to its name (with a almost equally haunting 2017 follow-up that is supposedly the second of a planned trilogy), but the biggest shocker is how mumblecore pioneers Duplass and Brice essentially improvised the entire story from scratch.

Stream Creep on Netflix here.

The Invitation (2015)

A man brings his girlfriend to a dinner party hosted by his ex-wife and her new lover, but is immediately, and unshakably, convinced that something sinister is afoot.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: As this tenuous, high-wire act from director Karen Kusama progresses, you may not be sure who among these party guests, even Logan Marshall Green's protagonist, is worth your trust, but one thing I can confidently guarantee is is that the final moment of The Invitation will rupture your brain.

Stream The Invitation on Netflix here.

Train To Busan (2016)

An emotionally distant businessman's commute for his young daughter to visit her mother turns out to be a one-way trip into hell when someone carrying a virus turning people into mindless cannibals invites herself on board.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Not only is the live-action debut of Korean filmmaker Sang-ho Yeon’s one of the most exciting and clever zombie films in recent memory, but Train to Busan, which has spawned a highly anticipated sequel, also succeeds as a moving thriller about the sacrifices we make for ones we love.

Stream Train to Busan on Netflix here.

Terrifier (2017)

Two beautiful late night partygoers (Jenna Kanell and Catherine Corcoran) are in for the worst Halloween of their lives when they fall prey to an unfriendly clown who has plenty of sadistic trick and treats in store for them.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: If you ask me, Pennywise has nothing on Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton), the future slasher icon whom the title of Terrifier appropriately refers to for his whimsically morbid imagination and tenacious blood thirst that makes director Damien Leone’s third feature a masterpiece of unapologetic shock and "ugh."

Stream Terrifier on Netflix here.

In The Tall Grass (2019)

A pregnant woman (Laysla De Oliveira) and her brother (Avery Whitted) follow a young boy's cry for help into a large field of high-growing grass, but it soon it becomes apparent that there is no way out.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: Based on a novella by father/son writing duo Stephen King and Joe Hill, In the Tall Grass is a survivalist thriller with startling fantasy, engrossing mystery, and a menacing performance by "scream king" and The Conjuring star Patrick Wilson that makes this Netflix original one of the coolest surprises in horror of its year.

Stream In the Tall Grass on Netflix here.

Tucker And Dale Vs. Evil (2010)

An idyllic vacation in newly purchased cabin turns into "a real doozy of a day" for a pair of well-meaning hillbillies (Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine) after an awkward misunderstanding with some young campers leads to a bloodbath.

Why It's A Good Option for Horror Fans: The old slasher trope of shady country folk is turned on its head in a most brilliantly hilarious, yet uncompromisingly graphic, way in Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, which may prove to be perfect way to end your Netflix horror binge: with a morbid laugh.

Stream Tucker And Dale Vs. Evil on Netflix here.

What do you think? Have we captured all the best haunts on Netflix, or is the absence of your own favorite horror flick the scariest thing you saw on our list? Let us know in the comments and be sure to check back for additional information and updates on the freakiest genre in cinema, as well as even more rattling recommendations of movies and TV shows you can stream, here on CinemaBlend.

What is you favorite horror film currently available to stream on Netflix?

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gemder · 5 years ago

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a bubbline wip, featuring a dissociative episode by our fave punk rock vamp. set shortly after Stakes.

She doesn't know how long she's been hovering over the couch like this, with her gaze trained on the bumps and dips on the ceiling and her bass planted in her arms. How many times has she sung that old song, so old and resilient it survived the death and rebirth of the world (and the both of hers twice over, now) just by hiding in the corner of her mind she doesn't like to visit? She can't see the sun or moon rise through the entrance to her hideaway from this part of the house, and the cave-imposed darkness tells her nothing of the time or how much of it has passed.

She doesn't dare budge from her spot. She's been turned twice now; she knows from experience that any sudden action, anything to startle her base thought process, could spark that bloodlust from last time. That was some ugly biz, if she remembers correctly. It's been a while, but something like an uncontrollable urge to drain the lifeforce of every living creature within 30 miles sticks to you. She's just going to have to wait it out, until the itch in the back of her throat dies down and she doesn't worry it'll become an insatiable burning for hot blood, no matter how long it takes.

Marceline has had an excessive amount of time to learn how to be alone; 1003 years, in fact. So why does it never get any easier? Why does being left never hurt any less? Why does she seem to be so completely destined for eternal loneliness? What asshat decided she deserved to spend the entirety of her neverending life without a single constant presence?

Mom went out with promises of keeping safe and finding food and I love you so much, sweetie, that alone is strong enough to bring me back to you. It took two weeks before little Marcy came to the conclusion that her mom wasn't coming back with food or supplies, or even returning empty handed. Simon let a stupid magical crown take over every single cell of his brain and wrote a bunch of scattered letters about it while it happened instead of, you know, telling the frightened 7 year old she was going to be left soon. Dad just up and left to go back to running the Nightosphere after a few weeks, with nary a parting word nor any notice. Her post-apocalyptic comrades had no choice but to flee from an otherwise inevitable extinction. Bonnie had to go and grow up, and in the process decide that her 900-something year old girlfriend wasn't mature enough.

(She checked that old, busted up camper as often as she could over the following months. There was never another life in that thing after she hopped down the little steps and let the screen door slam back with the carelessness of a 6 year old.)

(She found a decomposed corpse months later that just happened to be wearing some torn up rags that looked like her mom’s old sweater and jeans. It must have just been a coincidence, though; there were a lot of recently dead back then, and even more moth-eaten sweaters in the world.)

(“I’m trying to save you, but who's going to save me?” ‘I don't know, old man, maybe you could have saved yourself? You could have not purposely used the magical relic that was making you go bananas?’ If a 7 year old could make it through the apocalypse without magic then so could a fully grown man.)

(He left her to survive on her own in the name of being executive manager of hell and he still wonders why she wants nothing to do with him, why she used to have such a hard time so much as calling him “dad” when he’s never been anything like what she was lead to believe dads were supposed to be like.)

(She’s 1000 years old, how in the name of the nightosphere could she not be mature enough?)

(Over the years she’s replaced the world “hell” with “Nightosphere” the same way the being once referred to as “God,” back when even she was young, is now called by their proper name of Glob. The Nightosphere really is hell, so it fits.)

(Sometimes she takes the time to think about how she's the heir apparent to the actual, literal, real life hell, and how she's one of the oldest beings around these days, maybe the oldest to still really be sane, but still a messed up teen.)

(She doesn't know how old she was when she was turned; years and months and all that are hard to keep track of when the species that invented it is all but extinct. Is she old enough to drive? Probably. She does and can regardless, because screw the old ways. Old enough to drink, smoke, vote? Debatable. The point is that she’s 1000 years old but actually, like, 18. What the fuck.)

She drifts, both mentally and physically. She's had plenty of time and isolation to ponder the Big Things about life and the world and why and how things happened the way they did, and what it means. She will have an abundance of opportunities in the future to think about these things, too. Some day she'll reflect on this part of her life in the far away, nostalgia-filtered sepia tones she currently thinks of her childhood and adolescence. She'll remember when Finn and Jake were the heroes of Ooo, when Simon used to chase after princesses who will have long since passed, when she couldn't get over her ex-girlfriend who happened to be sentient candy. It will be distant and she will miss it terribly, the same way she misses her mother, and Simon when he was Simon, and fries in a long-abandoned diner. But it will be a wound long since closed and numbed, like the deep scar she got on her calf sometime in her early teens that still exists today, preserved in her immortality and a sentimentality that prevented her from insta-healing it away, sting and blood long gone.

She has forever to reminisce, but only right now to live in the present. She makes mental patterns in the bumps on the ceiling, and slowly loses grip on her body. She is a million miles upwards, where the sky holds no oxygen and the stars are still pinpricks in a sea of indigo construction paper. Like a kid poking holes in the top of a jar of lightning bugs, equipped with a fork and enthusiasm at being able to destroy something for the sake of encapturing something else. She is, at the same time, hovering above her uncomfortably hard couch. One of her hands slips from its place atop her bass, and Shwabl licks it from his spot next to her on the dusty carpet.

She doesn't hear the knock at the door. She is right there, but she is centuries back and in a different part of the continent entirely. She doesn't hear Bonnie getting increasingly agitated, trying and failing not to raise her voice at her through the door. She doesn't notice when Bonnie lets herself in regardless of Marceline’s lack of response, or when Shwabl jumps up to attention at the guest.

It's the “Marceline, what -” that breaks her dissociative spell. That tone of exasperation in that particular voice is a very familiar one, especially within the last decade. She comes to to find that there are fresh tears in the corner of one eye and the words to a song as old as her youth on her lips.

“Oh, hey Bombòn. How goes it girl?” Marceline has had a millennium to convince the world that she's chill and totally not a big mess, and it shows in the lilt to her voice that screams ‘I'm just chillin’’ and not ‘I've been dissociating and crying and probably singing for who-knows-how-long and I'm really messed up’. She still doesn't dare move from her spot, because moving around could still trigger what she's trying to wait out.

“It's been three weeks, Marcy. Three weeks, and all that heavy biz, and no one's heard from you since. Doesn't that seem even a little bit irresponsible to you? Didn't you think people would worry? Or even wonder ‘hey, what happened to that girl who saved all our butts and got revampified?’”

“Dude, I've just been chilling. You know how it is; jams, games, pets, it keeps a girl busy. It’s cool. Ice cold, in fact.”

Bonnie sighs. Marceline has heard that sigh a million and three times over by now, and she's learned to like that particular sound from the pink girl; it's the one thing about herself that she can't manage to sweeten to the point of oversaturation, until it (like the rest of her) is practically dripping sugar. Marceline likes to deal with the authentic rather than the idealized versions of people, because the latter rarely ever means anything good is coming her way.

(She rationalizes that the Ice King component of Simon, while not idealized, is not authentic in the least; the products of full humans getting mixed up with magic seldom are. The authentic Simon Petrikov is the one who found a 6 year old girl in the ruins of a suburban New Mexico town and still had enough selflessness in the aftermath of the apocalypse to comfort her and take care of her.)

The sigh doesn't lead to the reprimanding the vampire expects. Instead, she watches as Bonnie leans down in her peripheral vision to pet Shwabl, expression focused intently on the dog. She's doing that same schooled neutrality shit she used to do during those globawful trade meetings - the ones Marcy used to steal her away from the go gallivanting through the rock candy mines.

“What kind of sweet tunes have you whipped up, then? Lay it on me girl.”

Marceline lets her face adopt a smirk - the expression has become a reflexive habit after centuries of being a bitter undead loner - even as something in her stomach drops. Bonnie rarely asks about her music because she knows so much of it is personal, and that which isn't is vulgar or morbid and prone to being shared regardless, not to mention the fact that Bonnie’s interests definitely don't lie in the arts, or punk rock music, or most of the uglier parts of Marceline.

“You know my latest album is the epitome of personal mush, Bons. It's so personal I'd have to kill you if you heard any of it. But, I do have a new demo about a fisherman.”

Bonnibel definitely wants something out of her; she has that smile she reserves for Cinnamon Bun and Finn when he's going on about dumb 13 year old boy things, the one that's polite and reservedly encouraging, the one that Marcy has always found to be condescending although it always looks as sweet as its wearer who is literally made out of candy, almost as sweet as the girl’s public persona.

The thing about being 1000 years old and also a teenage girl is that you spend forever being a socially-minded person on some level or another, because back in the day that's how girls were socialized to be - social-driven creatures who cared more about what Allyson wore on Tuesday or what Theresa said about Serena in math class than anything practical. So Marceline has had a long time to notice the tells and ticks of the select few she surrounds herself with often enough to care about. PB smiles like her kindergarten teacher used to on particularly trying days when she thinks the people she's with are idiots but can't call them out for it. Her eyebrows droop when she's so tired that sheer willpower will no longer keep them up. She plays with her hands when she's nervous. She used to chew on her hair when she was younger and in the process of creating her kingdom, when stress was a new feeling she hadn't yet made a feedback loop out of.

This is totally, completely because of the sexist socialization of the old world, and nothing else. Totally not because they dated for a good chunk of time, or because one or the other might, maybe be having rose-coloured thoughts about the other again.

“Everyone and their granny has heard that one, Marcy. If you've had all this time to do nothing but groove and game then I wanna hear some tunes! Don't be a butt about it.” She's trying to gode the older girl, but Marceline is itching to get out of this particular conversation. Somewhere in her cursed, mostly re-dried blood she knows this is a test.

“I don't bust into your lab and start interrogating you about your experiments - can you just lay off, man?” she says it more harshly than she had meant to, but being yanked back to reality and immediately questioned over every move will do that to a person. “Tell me what's been going on in Candyland. You finally get all the earwax off of your junk?”

“You know if you did ask about my science experiments I would be happy to tell you all about them - well, the ones that aren't classified. It's called caring, Marce, it's a thing that friends do.”

A tense silence follows as Marceline thinks of something biting (but not petty!) to throw back at her.

“And yeah, actually, I did. The dingus left a huge mess but there's nothing my purple cleaner can't get rid of.”

Bonnie can't leave a single box unticked, can she?

“Glob, that stuff is nasty. The fumes make me gag, and I don't even need to breathe!”

The princess raises a brow at her. The queen furrows both of hers in frustration and fixes her gaze back on the bumps on the ceiling. When she was younger she used to make images out of the dips and dots in the kindergarten room ceiling; the RV’s was smoothed and didn't allow that particular part of her imagination to play around.

“And I think the expression you're looking for is sharing is caring, Bubs. It's a thing they used to say waaaaaaaay back in the day whenever the old people got tired of little kids fighting over toys.”

*******

this was gonna be a longfic feat. mutual pining by our fave disaster gays and more references to marcy’s life pre- and during the apocalypse bc i have a lot of feelings about Stakes. might come back to it, who knows!!!

#ash talks #ash writes #bubbline #bubbline fanfic #writing wip

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ryouverua · 6 years ago

Text

One last time

HE’S BACK -

Fair warning - lots of text below. Like. Lots.

... But first, just before he came to meet with us again -

So all of his classmates in turn talk about how relieve they are that they can work together without suspecting each other, but something about the way she says it rings............ false. But then again, that might be my own bias colouring things. She outright states it in a way that the others don’t, idk. 8′D

Shuichi, though... he’s realized. Maybe not with an exact name, but he knows that isn’t true. He literally can’t bring himself to pretend that it’s true at all.

Oh Himiko...

5 survivors.... or maybe 4, depending on how the mastermind goes out. That’s definitely a new, sad record. :(

I CAN NAME A REASON -

Look who’s back with a brand new ahoge! It’s got that new-hair smell and everything -

H-He was never going to outright attack any of us though, right??? Even if he was willing to let us become collateral damage (which admittedly is super Not Great either, but -). That’s a really morbid thought Shuichi - where did it come from?

And of course, now that his hairpiece is back, he’s gone back to his more deferential, timid self.

“I’m telling you, that ahoge was 95% of my impulse control! Literally!”

But the fact that he’s apologizing now, when he was completely unapologetic before... that has to be that inner voice directing him now, right? But I wonder if it influences his ‘emotions’ (or whatever the equivalent would be for him) as well. Is the voice literally telling him to apologize or does he just ‘feel the urge’ to apologize?

So it is back.

Has it always been that tall???

Maybe if Miu and Kokichi had let him talk before Korekiyo’s trial, we could have followed up on this!!

Honestly though, I’m curious about this too. Is it a literal voice that tells him what to do? Does it appear as a suggestion to him? It sounds like it isn’t ordering him around but more ‘offering suggestions’... something that wouldn’t come across as obtrusive, but welcoming. Something that wouldn’t raise any alarm bells in him. Or maybe he was programmed to accept that just the way things were supposed to be.

.......... Actually the fact that it came up around Korekiyo’s trial, someone else who was revealed to be doing things based on a voice of sorts in his head, is a very strange coincidence? That... may or may not bode well for K1-b0. Is he going to be a foil to Korekiyo, or a parallel?

The inner voice may be good after all if it helped him realize this. 8′D

Wait, they said there was an accident when he was first created, right? And he reset? This had to have been a fail-safe because something similar to this happened...

As much as I want to comment on the fact that he’s said he can’t cry and he literally is sweating and his ‘eyes’ are ready to overflow, but fffff every single time I see this sprite my heart clenches and I kind of want to hug him. >3>

We’ve officially got everyone on the same side now! ......... well okay there’s technically one specific exception but on the surface we’re all good!

Look at Maki getting better at shedding her tsundere side! She’s getting better at being outright kind and welcoming to people, yay ~

oh my god

This is so..... blatant.... especially with Maki literally saying K1-b0 created this opportunity and Monokuma throwing her under the bus to have another trial. She.... she’s mad at him, isn’t she? And Monokuma too?

Oh man anyone who doesn’t realize at this point probably thinks it’s one of her anime-reference non-sequiters! But it’s not! It’s definitely a distraction! And she’s totally established herself as someone whose head is in the clouds so she she says random things like this, no one blinks an eye! What other comments has she covered like this?

ARE YOU THOUGH.............

Anyway, it’s time for the trial now so -

Yeah that’s true - we haven’t actually resolved this clue yet, have we?

I thought your eyesight wasn’t good? But okay, why not! Have a go at it, K1-b0!

Okay before plot progression though, fluff text time -

................................

WHELP THIS IS A HELL OF A FLUFF TEXT

I have so many things to say about this despite the fact that I’ve definitely talked about it before, because I actually relate to the idea of feeling like a different person in cosplay - of, well, letting yourself become the role. And I’ve definitely said that the theme of ‘becoming the role’ is a huge secondary theme of the game, just under ‘truth vs lies’, which is actually why I originally had Tsumugi as my potential mastermind back in Chapter 3. It’s telling that she’s comparing K1-b0 and his ‘personality enhancement’ with her own cosplay though - she’s often said that she only finds herself interesting when she isn’t being herself, so maybe it applies here too. Is this her way of enhancing her own self? Of becoming what she thinks is a ‘better’ self, a more interesting and charismatic person?

With that reveal of ‘Junko’ at the end of the last trial and Tsumugi often comparing cosplay to ‘bringing someone to life’, ‘channeling’ and ‘and being a vessel for the gods’, that means she’s basically resurrecting Junko in a sense... or acting as her vessel? Is that what will happen here? I think it’s possible for her to bring the ‘larger than life’ Junko from history (like the way long-dead historical figures can often become their own entities that walk the line between fiction and reality) as a way to get around the cospox issue unless I’ve really been accusing the wrong person this whole time lmao. It also lines up with all the times resurrection has been brought up in the game which is A LOT - the funeral scene/reviving the Ultimates, Ryoma describing himself as an empty shell walking around (and trying to ‘revive’ himself via a reason to live, killing off the initial protagonist then reviving the role for Shuichi, the Necronomicon, the seance, Korekiyo and his sister, and lastly, Kokichi via Kaito in the exisal. Combine that with my theory of the students just being normal kids who were reborn with the memories of actual Ultimate students who already died... and them even being forced to dress for those roles... this line of hers becomes really important!

Is this going to become a showdown between personalities who died ages ago? But for what purpose? Even though it looks like there’s a decent amount of things that were made up/embellished in those lights, the clip of the funeral, Kaede wearing the helmet and the meteors were shown outside of the flashback light scene - so are we still facing a doomsday scenario?

And back to Tsumugi herself - does she not have enough conviction to follow through with these plans and Monokuma unless she’s in Junko-wear? That would explain why she and Monokuma don’t seem to be on the same page... So which one of them is pulling the strings, exactly?? They’re definitely independent entities!

Meanwhile Himiko is having a grand old time because she’s finally got a friend in Maki. Aaaaaaw ~

We’re, uh, going to have problems if that’s true.

SHUICHI REMEMBERS TOO LMAO

Strength of an old man, average or below-average agility, eyesight and intelligence... what else was there?

And it wasn’t stripped from you???

But... maybe they didn’t realize you had it. Or don’t care? It’s not a dangerous upgrade, so maybe they didn’t realize it could be used in a way that could possibly hinder them...

He says he’s accepted it, but I think it was more out of necessity. It’ll take him some time to adjust to this new state of mind... but I’m happy to hear it, tbh. Just like Shuichi, he’s really struggled with his Ultimate identity up until now, you know? And even though it’s on more of an extreme level, these talents created differences in everyone and how they related to the world, not just him. It’s just a bit more... well, obvious in his case.

It’s all about accepting the good with the bad, K1-b0! And despite some, uh, questionable actions on your part, you really did do so much for us - we never would have gotten to Kokichi’s and Rantaro’s lab, the mastermind’s room, or discovered the flashback light machine without you!

Oh???

.... Uh.

Uh. What. What are those. What.... What are those?!?!

GONTA WAS RIGHT - !

w h a t they’re so stupid and cute

Tiny.... cameras....??? They look like little camera men?

..... I.... I don’t know... if this rules out VR or not. Because if they need little these little guys with cameras, doesn’t that mean they don’t have the omniscient power of a computer program behind them....????

Again, why did they not strip you of these new functions along with the weapons???

First of all, damn, K1-b0! Getting your ahoge back didn’t kill all of that fire in you after all!

Second of all.............. your skin???? Shell??? It’s definitely changed colour? Since when has it been so human-like -

Looks like K1-b0 can still be tough with his ahoge. :D

Oh god, there’s a whole swarm of hivemind Camera-kubs all over the campus? And they’re literally everywhere?!?! wtf -

I guess that’s a similar concept to the regular Monokumas??? Sure there’s usually only one operational at a time, but they always seem to pick up where the last left off. kind of like Kyuubey

First of all, ew.

Second of all, TRAUMATIC BUZZING NOISE FLASHBACKS

THE ONES THAT I STUPIDLY THOUGHT WERE PART OF THE MONITOR SETUP AROUND THE SCHOOL

but that wouldn’t have made sense because there’s nothing like that outside -

So there’s nanotechnology that exists on such a scale............

MONOKAMERA, THE SIXTH MONOKUB, HIDING ALL OVER THE ACADEMY. THE ONE THEY CALL THE ULTIMATE CAMERA GUY. WATCH OUT FOR HER THEM....

Can we note that once again it is Maki declaring that Kokichi was correct? She is doing her damnedest to check her own prejudices against him this chapter as penance and it’s great.

It’s not ideal, but I also wonder if some of the things he uncovered were only possible using his methods. not that you probably actually are happy about that

actually I bet you were pissed about the whole chapter 5 thing too

..... I want to go back and see that tbh

TALK OF REINCARNATION AGAIN.... also lol Himiko that’s kind of mean

Monokuma thinks he’s going to win... and if I’m reading this correctly, he can still win at the expense of Tsumugi losing....? Is that why? Even if Tsumugi’s plan fails and we see past her trap of ‘Kaede is the mastermind’, identifying Tsumugi will still end up being a victory for him....?

And your sudden hope!extremism, yeah? Because that really was something. 8′D

OH GOD WE’RE GOING IN I MEAN... I’M READY BUT I’M ALSO NOT TBH, I’M NOT 100% SOLID ABOUT THE BIG MYSTERY SURROUNDING THE GAME

I feel like I ~get~ some stuff but there’s still something just beyond...........

“M-Maki I know you’re trying to put my mind at ease but can we not bring up dying before we’ve even tried to win -”

Real talk - I love Himiko’s spell names.

Y.... Yeah........ but why are you excited about this....?

Then again, I feel like you were actually really attached to Gonta? I mean, you were always defending him, right? Is this your way of giving him some postmortem love? ...... AAAAH I DON’T KNOW -

aslkdjf I know this was the same amount as last time but this is such a small cast left -

Man, we’re just... swinging right back to despair and hope again. Look, I know we’re appeasing K1-b0 but -

Why.... why is it back again. Why is Monokuma back again. Why did the killing game come back at all - what is the point of trying to be Junko? What’s to gain from all of this?

I remember thinking and really liking the idea that this game was completely separate from the last two, so it’s strange to have arrived at this point at the very end, but.... well. Here we go, I suppose.

Well said, Sweetcheeks.

So.... normally I’d have a drawn out map of the crime scene, but this is a pretty different situation so I made this at the trial save point:

It’s a bit small, so I’ll recap and expand on that and a few other things:

“TSUMUGI IS THE FUCKING MASTERMIND AND SHE IS TOTALLY TRYING TO SET KAEDE UP AS THE ‘FAKE’ MASTERMIND TO SCREW WITH SHUICHI’S (ET AL)’S HEADS

She set up the document saying Kaede has a twin and is trying to draw parallels to Junko (to trick Shuichi)

She planted the shot-put ball in the mastermind’s lair

She didn’t talk about ‘birthing a Monokuma’ (when everyone else did)

SHE IS THE ‘MOTHER’ THAT WAS REFERRED TO BY MONOTARO IN TRIAL 4, NOT MOTHERKUMA

So I went into some detail earlier about Tsumugi herself, and over the last few investigation posts I ended up decided on what I outlined above. On top of everything else, I think we’re going to nail her on the idea that while Kaede’s murder occurred, she went to the library via the mastermind’s lab and stole Rantaro’s Survivor’s Perk. The problem is... then what? What exactly will we do after that? Also I swear Kaede thought of the same thing, with no idea what to do once we confronted the mastermind -

As for the general situation, I’m sticking to my guns about the class not actually being the Ultimates they think they are - I saw the ‘talents’ part of the flashback light setup menu. Actually, the flashback lights themselves.... jeez. Okay. Ironically enough, my thoughts on them are that their execution in the game is similar to Kokichi’s lying style.

First the game has a cutscene that’s completely truthful. Kaede and Shuichi remember being kidnapped at the beginning of the game. The entire prologue scene. The funeral at the beginning of chapter 2. The meteors in chapter 3. Hell, the kid at the beginning of this chapter, who seems to be watching them and getting inspired by them...??? Then... that’s when the flashback light comes in and embellishes that truth with fantasy. That funeral? It was for the entire class, and they all see themselves as being part of it (picturing ‘themselves’ in those photos rather than the students whose memories they all have). The meteors? It gave rise to an entire death cult - the Ultimate Despair, in fact - and they, themselves, were hunted (which plays off of the players’ knowledge of knowing they remember being kidnapped off the streets). Or something like that....

I’m just trying to place a few things, like that picture of Kaito with his grandparents in the motive video and the flashbacks of Shuichi and Kaede in the helmets. Where do they get placed in all of this? Was Shuichi able to project the image of ‘Kaito’ he knew when watching the video, or is that part of the technomagic of the video itself? We did have a whole segment of the VR chapter talking about the mind being able to be fooled into overcoming the reality of the situation (dying via simulation murder) so is it safe to extrapolate from there? And did Shuichi and Kaede remember themselves with those helmets separately from those flashback lights, as a delayed reaction (which as of this chapter is proven to be possible) or is that real?

As for whether this is a simulation, there’s evidence for and against that. The flashbacks with the helmets - pro. The physical presence of cameras - false. Though with that said, I’ve done a bit of work in computer programs where you actually have to set up cameras in-program and when testing the animation, it’ll only capture what’s set up in the frame - so then again, maybe not??? Those computerized cameras can be programmed to move along a certain path and the lens/frame/etc itself can also be altered.... and they did counteract having blind spots by swarming the campus with them so. Hm. Honestly, it could go both ways. I don’t want to dwell too much on this only because I don’t think that’s going to be the ‘big’ reveal anyhow tbh...

Still though; roles, escapism, resurrection. That’s what I picked up on the most through this entire thing. So how does that work together...? The students were told they were replaceable, and the game will never end. Rantaro lived through one but died in the next. Did he live through a game with this same group of classmates or other people? Or, hell, were they ‘other people’ but with the same names/personalities/memories, but different physical people? And if he was willing to repeat the game again, then why? Was it for a chance to break the loop? Or is there a goal to be accomplished if he wins it properly?

Okay, I think I’m starting to go in circles here. What I know: Tsumugi is the mastermind, and she’s not in complete sync with Monokuma. She’s trying to get Kaede(’s twin) framed; Monokuma is perfectly fine with Tsumugi being identified. Tsumugi falls back on the Junko persona when she’s in mastermind mode - when she was alone, she couldn’t help but be that way with Motherkuma. It’s a role she’s able to take - maybe passed down. Anyway, the point is, she uses it to ‘enhance herself’ or maybe to ‘escape her plain self’. Almost like an emotional support thing....? I wonder...

A lot of the truth as we know it is embellished. Only things we can trust from the flashback lights are things we saw independently of them as well, I think? At the bare minimum, pre-Chapter 4. After that point we didn’t have any corresponding prologue clips to match with the lights. With that said, the students were given talents and memories to match them - I think the Ultimate students they belonged to were actually killed... by the Ultimate Hunt, perhaps. Either way, these kids were brought in as ‘replacements’, the same way the Monokids were replaced. Rantaro, at the very least, was not a replacement though - he had a chance to do this again and took it, for whatever reason... Is this a simulation for the Gopher Project? Or something else entirely? Why ‘resurrect’ the Ultimate students at all? And why is there potentially a scenario where Tsumugi loses, but Monokuma still wins? WHY DON’T I HAVE A FULLY CONFIDENT ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING FFS -

Oh, and of course, Kokichi Ouma was 25 steps ahead of everyone and had Rantaro’s figure in his room too, so that’s cool.

#Ryou plays drv3 #Tsumugi Shirogane #spoilers #Shuichi Saihara #long post #drv3 spoilers #Himiko Yumeno #Maki Harukawa #K1-b0 #Keebo #Kiibo

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calliecat93 · 6 years ago

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RWBY V6 CH5 Review: The Coming Storm

It's been roughly about a month now since Volume 6 started... and ho boy, has this volume has not held back it's punches whatsoever. Within the span of four chapters we got a train wreck, long awaited questions answered, Cinder plotting her vengeance, and Salem reminding us why she is scary as Hell. We've been put through the wringer these past for weeks, and now with Chapter 5 upon us, we are all wondering how this can get anymore intense. Well delving into the horror genre seems to be a pretty good way! What do I mean? Well lets find out!

Overview

Before we check on our heroes though, lets check in on Cinder The good news for her is that Lil' Miss Malachite has gotten the information that she wanted. She informs the Fall Maiden of the good guys heading for Argus, which causes Cinder to conclude that they're heading for Atlas next. She starts to head off... until Lil' Miss refers to her by name. As it turns out, Cinder was quite the interesting figure. So much so that it brought the information broker double the business. How you may ask? Well the camera cuts to above where we see a figure standing on a beam... and carrying with her a familiar looking parasol That's right my friends, after three volumes and a ton of teasing, Neo has made her return.

Neo wastes no time, attacking Cinder and the two villainesses begin to rumble. It's a pretty awesome hand-to-hand fight too, all as a chilling new Jeff and Casey tune plays. Did I mention that I really want the soundtrack? Between this, Lionized, Miracle, and the opening this soundtrack is gong to be morbidly awesome. Lil' Miss, while clearly enjoying the show, eventually tells the two girls to take their rumble outside. It's at this point that Cinder discovers that the Neo that she's been fighting is one of her illusions... so yeah, Neo can now cast longer, more lifelike illusions. Be afraid people. Be very afraid. But it isn't long before Cinder causes the real Neo to step forward.

Now normally, Neo has a confident, pretty cocky demeanor like her former boss, which her previous illusion also demonstrated. But here? Her clothes are slightly tattered, her expression is serious and vengeful, and most notably she is now wearing a very familiar looking hat. It takes Cinder no time to realize what the deal is: Neo wants to kill her as revenge for Torchwick's death. As they fight however, Cinder points out that they both have the same goal, which is to get revenge on Little Red Ruby. Cinder finally goes into Maiden mode, causing Neo to stop in fear, ad the Fall Maiden convinces her to knock it off and that they can work together to make Ruby pay. Neo agrees to talk... well she can't really talk, which I guess we now have conformation that Neo is indeed a mute. But you get what I mean.

Back with Team RWBY, the storm is growing worst as Ruby is confused by the state of Brunswick Farms. Most places that she's seen that were abandoned were either destroyed or unfinished, but this place is fine. The group breaks into what I assume is the mayor's house and everyone scatters to look around and find supplies. Ruby's attention goes to some portraits, showing a rather happy bunch of people. Blake goes to check on her... when the two hear Weiss scream. The gang goes to find her and Yang in a state of horror... because they just found the corpses of the home owners still int heir beds. WELL... THAT WAS SOMETHING.

A little later, Qrow confirms that all of the town is dead int he same manner. Weiss understandably doesn't want to stay there, but with the storm they have no choice. Qrow goes to see if he can find anything that can transport them out, ordering the others to go nowhere alone. Blake and Yang go to see if they can find anything in the other buildings as Ruby and Weiss look around to see if they can find any food. That leaves Oscar with Maria, who tells him to keep the fire going as she looks for a bedtime story. Did I mention that I love Abuelita Maria? Because Dear God do I love her.

Blake and Yang end up in some kind of barn/shed and look around, also wondering what it could have been that killed everyone. It's pretty clear that Yang is not handling any of the recent events well and Blake is concerned, but the blonde merely says that she's tired and wants to get out of this place. She finds a wagon that looks large enough to hold everyone, but any possible relief is killed when she has a flashback to Adam. She tells Blake of how she still flashes back to that night, her hand trembling as she asks the cat girl if she believes that Adam is still out there. Blake doesn't know, especially since despite knowing that the WF will reject him for his cowardice, he'll likely force his way anyways. She would know after all, he would use force and fear to make her feel beneath him and right into his control. But still, Blake tries to comfort Yang by assuring her that she isn't going anywhere and will be there for her. It seems to help Yang... until Blake says that if Adam comes back, she'll protect her. Yang doesn't take that comment well, heading back while saying that they'll hook the wagon to Bumblebee later. And somewhere, the Bumblebee shippers aren't sure if they should cheer, cry, or both.

Back with Ruby and Weiss, they find what looks like a bar. Ruby isn't happy with this, especially considering Qrow's current mental state, but brushes it aside as she heads for a pantry. Weiss however starts to ask Ruby if they're still heading for Atlas, much to Ruby's confusion. Weiss brings up that Salem can't be killed, so what's the point of going there now? Well that's what she claims anyways. I think that we all know the real reason why she doesn't want to go back. Ruby is clearly upset about this, but Weiss takes it back and just says that she's tired and hates this place... remember this for the review. They find more alcohol and a chained up wine cellar... and some canned shrimp flavored beans! Ugh... why would anyone make those? They take the food and leave and the episode ends with one of the cellar doors opening up...

Review

If anyone was hoping that things would get more cheery.. well sorry, you're going to be waiting awhile! Man, this episode was tense. Heck,t hat's what they should have named it! Tense: The Episode. I'm not complaining though cause man, this chapter was great! The drama continues to keep us at the edge of our sets, we got some payoffs, and plenty of nightmare fuel! Thanks for the Day 5/Until Dawn crossover CRWBY! I'll be having nightmares for weeks now!

So lets talk about the villains first! Neo is back... and I really don't care. I know that Neo is a fan favorite, and it totally baffles me as to why. Her design is cute and all, but... she hasn't done anything. I mean she's.. what? Fought Yang, broke Roman out of prison, and fought Ruby before getting Mary Poppins'd off the airship. That's it. We know nothing about her as a character and her scenes are very minor. She existed to be Roman's flunky because Monty came up with a cool design at the last possible moment. Otherwise, she could have been written out and it would have changed nothing about the series. I need more than a cool character design to care about a character, hence why I wasn't upset when Sienna got killed off, so I really wasn't all that excited to have her show up again,

That being said... this CAN turn out to be a good thing. Because with Torchwick dead, it gives Neo motivation as a character. She clearly cared about her boss and now that he's gone, all that she's left with is the desire for revenge against those who got him killed in the first place. With Cinder now wanted, it made sense to go after her first, plus it was Cinder's planning that got Torchwick put into that situation to begin with. Honestly Torchwick's death may be what allows Neo to get the character that I feel that she is lacking and while I don't expect her partnership with Cinder to stick for long, it'll be interesting to see how she operates now that she has the chance to get back at Ruby.

As for the scene itself, I loved it! The fight scene was great. Fast-paced, but not over bloated. Just a really cool hand-to-hand fight with both Cinder and Neo using their abilities to their advantage. Cinder is still a bitch, but she's showing more of the more smug persona that we're familiar with while actually being logical with her convincing Neo to work with her rather than against her. Considering her current situation and lack of any backup until she redeems herself, it makes sense for Cinder to go this route, even if her mind is still mainly on making Ruby suffer. But hey, she's not screwing up any per-conceived plans to do it this time! Oh, and Lil' Miss Malachite continues to be a delight. I freakin' love this woman.

Now onto our heroes... and boy do I worry for them. God the entire sequence from them breaking into the house to finding the bodies... it was tense. Something felt so off. Poor Weiss just seems traumatized after, and I can't blame her. I'd be traumatized too. So what was it that killed an entire town? Well I think it's pretty clearly a Grimm, but we'll go more into that in a little bit. For now, lets talk about the partner scenes.

Yang and Blake's scene just... made me sad. On the one hand, I freakin' love Blank. She's gone form my least favorite Team RWBY member and not even in my Top 5 to now being a serious contender for my second favorite alongside Weiss. Throughout this chapter, she is supportive and concerned for her teammates. She goes to see what Ruby's thinking about as she stares at the photos, gives Weiss a blanket while she's clearly still reeling from her morbid discovery, and she is trying so hard to be supportive and friendly with Yang. She tries to give Yang the chance to talk about what's bothering her, opens up about how small Adam made her feel, and tries to assure Yang that she's not going anywhere and won't let her get hurt again. It really shows how much that Blake has grown since Volume 4, an I am loving every second of it.

Sadly, Yang isn't doing that great. The recent events, from Adam to everything with her mom to the new revelations to now, have clearly weighed her down. She's downcast, bitter, and frustrated. Her PTSD is still haunting her as she still has flashback and despite being willing to face her fears, those fears still haunt her. And sadly just when it looks like Blake's making a breakthrough, Yang gets upset because Blake said that she'd protect her. It's a very sweet comment, but to Yang it make her feel like she's weak an incapable. She's supposed to be the one protecting people, not the other way around. She hates feeling weak and afraid, so while Blake's comment was nothing but well intentioned, to the blonde it felt like an insult and only reinforced all the negativity brewing inside her. Clearly she needs to let it out and she and Blake need to sort everything out, then she can start to do better. Hopefully, this arc will allow that.

Onto the Ruby and Weiss pair and... man, poor Weiss. The girl is badly shaken from finding the corpses, even as she tries to keep some kind of positive attitude after. But it's clear that both the recent events and the fear of going back to Atlas are haunting her. She's afraid to go home since it means facing her father again and the threat of once more being locked away. No one would want to go back to the place where thy were kept prisoner. But she's also concerned with the recent revelations. Salem can't be killed. Even if they lock away the Relic, all it'll do is slow her down. There seems to be no point, and Weiss is considering calling it quits even if only briefly. It shows how bad of a state shes in emotionally on top of everything else, and I really worry for her.

Then of course there's Ruby. I think that this is the most serious that we've seen her in a good while. She's very much in leader mode, and after how baldy she got the shaft last volume, this is very good to see. She's concerned about the state of the town and trying to piece it together. She tries to comfort Weiss by looking for food. When she finds the bar, she want sot immediately seal it up out of concern that Qrow will get overly drunk. Clearly a lot is weighing on Ruby, yet she still displays a helpful, positive attitude. She's really trying, and it really makes me concerned for her. IDK if all that she's holding in is going to break in this volume, but with how the other three seem ready to break, this might be the right time to do it. I do think that Ruby may have to save them all though, if my current theory about the Grimm is right.

So you may remember that both Weiss and Yang being tired, Yang even showing signs of being delirious. I don't think that's just general dialogue. Remember, they were the two who found the bodies. Bodies that were tucked in bed alongside the rest of the town. It seems that whatever the Grimm is, one that I assume the town locked up until now, it killed them in their sleep There are many different ways to interpret this, but my current thought is that this is some kind of dream walker Grimm. Think of it like Freddy Kruger form Nightmare on Elm Street. Someone who haunts and tortures you in your dreams, to the point that you end up dead in the real world. And this Grimm may cause people to feel tired in order to lull them into it' trap, hence why the entire town ended up dead.

If I had to guess, Weiss, Yang, and Qrow are going to end up asleep and end up victims of the Grimm. Maybe Blake too, but who can say? IDK about Oscar either though I think that Maria will be fine. This will probably means that while everyone is trying to fight through their nightmares. Ruby may have to go into the cellar to find and kill the Grimm, which would lead to the scene in the opening. Heck, for all I know all of them will end up in the nightmares and maybe Ruby's the first to break through or something. I'm not sure. For all I know, I'm talking completely out of my ass. What I do know however is no matter what this Grimm may be or whatever is coming next, with this episode's title being 'The Coming Storm' it's NOT gonna be pretty.

Final Thoughts

Like last week, this episode had me uncomfortable throughout, but in different ways. I am seriously worried about everyone and whatever it is that's about to happen to them. No one is in a good place right now, and that's probably about to reach a breaking point. But hey, we got a cool fight scene and a new song! That was nice of them! But yeah, really enjoyed this episode! It has plenty of character development and plenty of setup for next week. So tune in then as Nightmare Fuel Theater proudly presents RWBY: Day 5 Until Dawn!

#rwby #rwby6 #rwby reviews #callie reviews

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ohgoddard · 3 years ago

Text

Storyteller.7.

Holly often wondered why they traveled where they did. Well, she knew why she traveled, but not why Armak did. He truly seemed to just be wandering the world as he has been for millennia upon millennia. There was no real purpose behind where he went, at least none that Holly could discern. Everywhere they went, no matter if it was some sleepy town on the border between Golrokh and the Concord or in the shadow of the Acropolis, Armak seemed to have a story about it. She wanted to think she was doing it for her, taking her to places that held interesting stories behind them that he had the graces to be at. Often though, his stories were benign. The real interesting parts were the details he omitted because he thought them ‘uninteresting’ or ‘unimportant’. Like how the Acropolis wasn’t always floating high in the air or how the dwarves far up north originally lived in small above-ground homes. She still doesn’t believe him fully on that last fact, it seems too unlikely, but regardless he held a wealth of knowledge that only he seemed to know and have a memory of. Even knowledge of Holly’s favorite era of the continent’s history: The Great Divide.

Holly has long been fascinated with the era of history, it is the only one her parents bothered to tell her about outside of the elven conclave. Several members of the conclave left to fight alongside the Kroven clan when that war was still happening, and they were even granted an appearance by the leader herself, Seoven! Holly had grown up with stories from her parents about The Bladed Rose of the East showing up to thank the elves for their expert trail making and ranger skills, and to promise them a seat at the table when the continent was united from Gukrag’s despotic and bloodthirsty reign. At least, that is what her parents told her. She often wondered why Seoven never came back to the conclave after that, or why her parents often went on cynical diatribes about the nation of Golrolkh and betrayal. She didn’t even know the Empire or Concord existed until she left the conclave in the dead of the night and eventually found herself mugged and robbed until Clermont, where all who are chewed up by the land are spit out to. She wanted to know more and wanted to record it all to boot. But the libraries are in the hands of those who won’t share, and those who would share have motives all too ulterior. It was refreshing when she came across the drunk immortal in the town falling to pieces, which she thought was a sad statement on her travels in the world.

She always asked questions, and when the old man was feeling it he would even answer some of them. She could tell he enjoyed her company, even if he had trouble showing it. This did not stifle her frustration with him, as she swore he made it a game to make her as mad as possible sometimes. He would always get away with it in the end, though. Usually by telling some long story about a random rock in the road that is actually the last remaining stone of a huge castle keep he once saw the assassination of some regional noble at. She always questioned where they were going, and always got the same answer: “We’ll know when we get there.” He tried so hard to sound wise, but she knew better. No matter his dour attitudes though, she knew Armak had his bearings straight and would lead them in the right direction.

Armak had no clue where he was.

When you live as long as he has, the lands no longer look the same as he once remembered them. Events he thought as no more than a decade ago were actually a thousand years prior. The oldest men and elves he encounters are children when compared to him. He always looks alien wherever he goes, yet he was once commonplace in these lands. How times change, and how slow he consistently is to change with them. Armak is also not so prideful to admit he is a small amount stubborn as well and is not willing to buy new maps. Armak has been here before, things cannot change that quick. Sure, a few hundred years have passed. But mountains do not appear or disappear in that time. Forests may grow, rivers may change route, but the largest of landmarks must stay.

Armak tells himself this, trying so hard to disregard the extreme world-shaping the Yaldor did which eternally messed with his internal compass. Because those damned Gith, those gods damned mindflayer fuckers, took it upon themselves to do exactly what no one asked for. Ruined so much in terms of natural beauty. And so much more, but Armak is trying to maintain a happy attitude. Especially for Holly. Recently, the stories that surface the way to the top of his memory have been rather morbid ones. Night raids with Seoven, usurping regional rulers through violent coups, tales of arriving at border towns just minutes after the Scartooths’ Warband arrived first. War was not a pretty time, nor were there many happy stories he could tell that he could fill up Holly’s notebook with. There were bound to be fun stories, the war lasted for-gods-damned-ever. It technically ended only a hundred-ish years ago. The veterans of the war are already old men, and there are generations of people who have never known conflict on the scale that used to be commonplace. He hopes it stays that way.

He has been trying to go to places with happier memories. Armak doesn’t know when or even if he will leave this world behind him finally, but he wants his legacy to be better. The years he spent as a spymaster of terror, whose name was spoken among the Scartooths with the same tremor of terror when they spoke of Gukrag. His accomplishments are wide and greatly unknown to even himself. Mostly, he was just there to observe what happened. His involvement is negligible at best, but that does not mean his influence is insignificant. Bloodlines have ended because of him, magical items lost forever, borders changed. He does not want to be remembered for that. He wants to be a folk story people tell. The wise and older than the trees or field they sit near who comes in with stories and advice.

Of course, he’d have to actually talk to people to do that and he abhors conversation on a deep base level of his personality. So, he’d settle with telling his story to Holly. She has more or less forced herself into his life, and he wasn’t going to make any great effort to remove her. He forgot how nice it was to talk to someone. And she has helped him regain some semblance of happiness in his life, so he’s trying to give her some great stories to record in her book.

Now, if only he could find where the hell it was he was moving towards. The desert is a lot bigger than when he was last there some...300-ish years ago. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Armak, I know I ask this a lot, but where exactly are we going?”

Nighttime in the desert was always paradoxically cold. When someone walks through the dunes in the sunlight it feels like the heat walks within you and is twice as intense as your willpower to go on. Yet, when the sun finally leaves you at the crest of night, the cold seeps into your body with the absence of the heat. The two travelers sit close to each other, huddled around the dancing fire Armak summoned on the sands. Armak doesn’t hear Holly the first time she spoke, instead being lost in the stars above him.

She gives him an elbow into his ribs. The serenity of the night has now been shaken from his eyes.

“Armak, please tell me how long we’re going to be in this desert. I hate wearing all these face wraps and heavy clothes. It makes me sweat like a hobgoblin!” Holly was covered head to toe in clothes obviously not designed for her, as they hung off her body in great amounts. Armak snickered, bringing a hand to cover his beak as he looked at her. When he told her they were venturing into the desert, she was initially thankful for the change of scenery. So far, all they have traveled was repeating grassland and cold, snowy mountains. Yet, when the grass began to appear less and less and the air begins to turn arid and hot, she had worry she never thought she would have. Intense dehydration and sunburn.

So, with Holly being unprepared for the situation, Armak gave her a spare set of clothes and wraps he had to protect her from the harsh sandstorms and intense temperatures.

“Oh Holly, you look so ridiculous in that get-up. My goodness, who let you dress like that?” Holly tiredly punches him in the arm for that comment, causing another laugh from the Immortal. “It's not like you can talk,” she mumbled through the wraps on her face,” Mr. ‘I forgot my winter time gloves in Byhurst’. And how about the other times where I've had to give you spare jackets and spare hats and -”

Armak groaned.

“Say what you will about Elf development, your sense of humor matures at a much slower rate. Holly, I mean no harsh feelings towards you. It was a joke.”

The elf glares at him. “I’ll have you know, Elf humor is very refined and hilarious. You just need to know all the prerequisite history and references to understand the hilarity ingrained into every word. Like, ‘Why did the Despoiler of the Elven Faith crack the God Crystal?’ ‘To ascend into the higher realm of being!’”

The desert was quiet, and not a creature moved or made a sound.

“Holly, I have been to most of those events you reference in your jokes and stories. I ‘get’ the elf humor. Sometimes it is funny. I just think that...maybe... You should stick to writing stories instead of jokes.”

If looks could kill, this one would do it via guilt. Holly’s death gaze was further accented by a flush face, something Armak didn’t know to chalk up to embarrassment or anger or the heat. Detecting that a change in topic was needed to avoid conversation in uncomfortable territory, Armak thought quickly.

“This place, Holly, hasn’t changed much since I’ve last been here. At least, in any great amount. The rocks are in the right places, the skeletons of the cities still stand where I once shopped and slept. It's the least changed place in this whole world, Holly.” He stared up into the sky again. Holly’s gaze softened, though she still said nothing.

“Change has been hard for me. It's hard for any long-lived man but on me, it has taken a toll. People whom I have made friends with live their whole lives and give birth to children who will introduce me to their children, ad infinitum. I am friends of families, not people. No one can stay with me. The artificial, even, eventually wither away from damages not even the best artificer can fix. The few who can be in my company I’d rather not be among. They are all evil men or beasts with no morals, with only a desire to consume to keep living. Liches, Demons, lords of dark realms. None are good house guests.” His gaze falls from the stars and into the fire, where he stares.

“I have witnessed much, you know that. I have seen and been through so much change and I remain remarkably the same throughout. Whole forests grew where once was a field. Towns have been founded, expanded, and wiped from history before me. The oceans have risen and sunk, and here I am all the same. Only here, Holly, only here in this desert can I be the thing that changes. A desert doesn’t have to change, it knows it is the end state of all. It is patient. It doesn’t have to see the change to know it will happen.”

Holly looked into the fire with him. Traveling with Armak was...difficult. He has spent centuries on his own, interacting with him was like talking to an elf raised by the wolves. His feelings were not complex ones, but the reason why he felt the way he did was unique. Sure, some may feel life rushes past them, and they are worried that they do not change with the world and have fears of being left behind. Armak was left behind, and no matter how much can try the world will change before he has caught up. He will always be chasing what people who are born and killed in his lifetime will experience threefold. Plus, when he was depressed Holly felt sad too. Holly needed a way to make him happy and fast, otherwise, she’d feel bad about this the entire night and she needed her sleep lest she becomes an actual feral elf in the morning.

“Not all change is bad, you know. There is a good chance you must have seen that has made the stay on this lovely eroding rock of world pleasant. C’mon, I bet if you think about it you can find some good ones.”

Armak chuckled, still looking into the fire.

“I know what you’re trying to do, Holly. I get it, I do. But that isn’t what the problem is. The problem is -”

“Yeah yeah, you’re old and seen a lot. I’m not going to let you dwell on this any longer. You’re going to think some happy thoughts right now or else.” She stood up, crossing her arms at him. His feathered head turned to face her, a quizzical look upon it.

“Oh? And, pray tell, what you might do if I refuse to be the happy boy you want me to be?” “I’ll stop making the strawberry shortcake you like.”

She means business, Armak thought. He better start thinking happy or one of the tastiest things he has ever eaten in his thousand years of life will be taken from him much quicker than he would have liked.

“Well,” he said while dragging on the last ‘L’,” I do remember being in this absolute hellscape some odd hundreds of years ago. The ground was up-heaved, the trees and grass were in flames, the sky itself was red and black from the flame and smoke. It was torn apart by a large Warband that devoured itself a few months later. I remember thinking it was such a waste, the whole land benign devastated over some petty squabble. They’re always petty. I come back to that same spot only seventy years later and it is the most beautiful spot I have ever witnessed. The greenest of fields and most bountiful of game. Trees that gave sweet fruit and not a Warband in sight.”

Holly smiled, laying flat down next to him and propping her head upon her arms with her usual happy listening look.

“Then, I was in this very same desert. Remember the story I told you about the djinni and the sphinxes? I found that very same nomadic tribe, the one of which I have saved the princess from. Turns out, she had united the tribes under her banner through masterful politics and marriage. She also said she had an immortal whose magic and cunning could defeat even that of a djinni. I was made into a story people told around campfires, Holly. Children spoke of me as if I were some saint who watched over them. Mothers used me as a threat to make sure they didn’t go wandering either. It brought about a small era of peace to her spot in the desert. It was a good change. That good can happen, even preceding bad, makes change worth it sometimes.”

Armak raised his head from looking into the fire, glancing over at Holly. A smirked snaked its way onto his face.

“Another positive change I saw was the princess of Fresonia, a long-gone nation. She changed very well. First, she took off her dress, then -”

Holly’s frown and disapproving look was all he needed, causing Armak to go into a small laughing fit. And try as she did to stay looking grumpy at him, she couldn’t completely hold back her smile. After the laughing from Armak died down with a cough, he looked amused with himself. But Holly wasn’t going to let a happy Armak go just yet.

“What do you think was the biggest, positive change you’ve seen?”

Armak raised his hand to face in a pensive manner, holding his beak and stroking it as if it were a wise man's beard. His eyes look into a far-off place, but a smile soon grew on him.

“I have one. Though it may not start all that positive, it has a happy ending. Well actually the story itself is pretty damn dramatic, but it has a happy end overall. Technically.”

This piqued Holly’s curiosity. She righted herself from laying down, brushing the sand off her clothes and hurriedly throwing things out of her bag for her journal. This little panic she did every time Armak was about to go on some long tale always amused him. Reminded him of a time when was a professor at some university somewhere. Eventually, Holly found her ever disappearing notebook and broke out her nifty invention she started leaving in every town they came across; the pencil. She looked up to him, eyes wide with eagerness. “Well? Are you gonna tell it or not?”

He smiled. “Alright. By the way, this story may be of interest to you some. It has some big names in it.”

He cleared his throat, glancing at Holly and knowing that she was racing to try and remember what she considers big compared to what Armak does.

“It all started in the war court of Seoven when the news that Oshphim, the Great Wizard Exarch, died.”

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When one imagines the celebration of a coronation, there is a certain amount of fanfare one expects. Parades, people cheering in the streets The Exarch is gone, long live the Exarch!, and a grand event any and all can attend and witness. They are events that many do not get to see, as those in power often live lavious and long lives compared to the common people. It was a time of celebration of the new ruler, yet always clashed with the grieving of the old. How someone deals with that delicate balance of emotion is critical to the beginning of their reign.

It would have taken a god themself to drum up any excitement in the royal hall of the great Southern Holdings. For the monarch they lost was beloved by all. Exarch Oshphim was a wise and gentle ruler. His knowledge knew no bounds, and he used it to create a shining jewel in a land where people still separated themselves up by tribes and fought wars by destroying whole peoples. He created cities, his skills in planning were unparalleled. He knew what was needed where and when. And his knowledge was not limited to the functions of the mortal realm, either. He was a wizard of great renown, being able to shape the very earth to his liking on a scale not matched until the Unakran Invasion. He diverted rivers to feed the farms and create fertile land to grow food. He raised the flood walls so buildings and the economy could prosper. He made sure no natural disaster happened unless he wanted it to. And since he never felt ill of those he ruled, it never happened. He fed the hungry, housed the homeless. All worked a decent day and were content under the Exarch. You know, he’s related to that princess I told you about? Wild, isn’t it?

Anyways, the Exarch was beloved by his people. His children on the other hand? Much different story. His children have often been a matter of discussion. They are not wholly Yuan-ti, like their father. In fact, when they were born out of wedlock the country was in upheaval. Such births often caused great succession crises. Hell, the kids didn’t even look that much like the guy. I remember merchants fleeing the main city en masse. However, through his expert statesmanship, he convinced the country that his children were no signs of the end times but an omen of prosperity. For you see, the children were half-celestial. The Exarch, in his wisdom and apparent powerful charisma, found love in a full-blown celestial. The children were, by definition, Aasimar and Immortal.

Now, ignoring the problems of having an Immortal ruler for deep discussions on politics later, the problem the people had with the coronation was with who was ascending to the throne after Oshphim died. His two children could not have been more different in every aspect. To start with, they were born wildly different. The Celestial who divided her body into two was a being of the stars, and as such had a part in the changing from night to day. One of her children was born with the powers of the sun and the daylight, able to influence the sun’s rays and use them to her whim. The other child was born with the powers of the moon, controlling the tides and able to influence the thoughts and minds of those who dreamt. Though, she never did.

The sun child was dubbed by her father “Solaris”. Her stature was staggering, ahead of long dark auburn hair and eyes of pure glowing gold. She walked with authority yet spoke with a voice that reminded you of those sunny days. She inherited most of her father’s physical traits, her face having sharp angles and a hard brow yet a welcoming smile that literally glowed. Her soft and pale skin always glowed strikingly in her ever-present warm radiant light. Yet, she never shied from the heritage of her mother. She always had these wings of orange and yellow, striking like an angel, furled on her back. We’ll get back to Solaris, as I can assure you Holly you have the wrong idea about her.

The moon child was named “Tungi”. A name from Oshphim’s culture that simply meant ‘moon’. The Exarch was not a creative man, but the names were apt. Tungi was not quite as tall as Solaris and nowhere near as outwardly imposing. Her hair was dark shades of purple which seemed to shift and change into other colors of the night sky. Her skin, like her mother’s, was a dark brown. Her eyes were swirls of stars and splashes of comets, mesmerizing to look into and incredibly hard to have a conversation with her because of it. She spoke with a shy voice, but one that was deep and soothing. Her aura was one of tranquility, one always felt calmer when they stood close to her. However, she liked to blend into the crowd. Despite having most of her mother’s traits, she rarely ever showed her wings. Instead, she often just passed herself off as a human member of the court. She was also amazing at chess.

Tungi was the Exarch’s favored daughter. She looked the most like her mother and carried much the same personality. She would always assist her father in his studies, catch onto magic quickly, and devoured books at the most astounding rate. However, unlike her father, she loathed talking to people if she had to. Not due to any hermit-like personality, or some deep antisocial tendency. No, she was just so incredibly awkward and shy that a conversation with her was next to impossible. This isn’t to say talking to her was hard by any means. She was incredibly charming in her own way. She could talk for hours and hours about the most interesting things she’s read or seen. Or a magic scroll she wrote which could yield greater-sized crops. She never kept on topic. A great scholar, magician, alchemist, city planner, but Tungi could not hold a consistent conversation to save her life. Which, sadly, is what ended up happening at the coronation.

It was no secret Tungi was the Exarch’s favored daughter. It was also no secret that it was Solaris who would ascend the throne. Both children being born at the same time down to the second, it was a matter of private discussion among themselves who should rise to the throne. Tungi put up no fight for it. She knew her limitations but also held no desire to rule. She would be content to live in the castle forever researching magic and being a loyal desire to her sister. Her sister. Now there was the problem, Holly. Solaris rising to power was something no one wanted. Despite being a creature of the light, Solaris was a backroom and dark political monster. Her favorite game growing up in the castle was to find and blackmail members of the court into robbing the kitchen for her. She made deals with foreign dignitaries that ended wars before they even began. Her wit so wicked and her tongue so sharp it was no wonder she rose to have great political control of the court. Every noble, whether they wished to or not, supported her. And this was not limited to her lands either. Exarch Oshphim swore fealty to a higher monarch: Seoven. When the Great Divide happened, he sent his daughters in his place to the War Court to assist in the war.

In the war court, it was very much the same story. I remember when they arrived, Seoven paid them no mind. Solaris went for the attack, trying to butter Seoven up about some victory or another to gain her favor. I swear, the cold shoulder she gave Solaris extinguished her flame a great deal. However, that changed when Tungi approached the map Seoven was surveying. She pointed out several flaws in the supply lines, which when fixed saved hundreds of lives. Tungi quickly became the favored daughter over Solaris once more. This was the last straw, in Solaris’s mind. At least, this is my theory. I could feel something inside her break when she was quite literally passed over by the only other authority figure she has met in her life for her sister.

Solaris was declared heir on the deathbed of Oshphim, the man was that hesitant to name her the monarch. Solaris cultivated a public opinion of herself to the lands like she was the one who brought them their food, their happy memories. The public was in her hand. Yet, those who knew even a little bit of courtroom gossip understood that Tungi would be the better leader if only she could talk to a damn person. As such, the coronation was a dour mood. No one in the room wanted to see Solaris sit upon the throne. It was just the practicality of the situation that she arose to power. Cunning, deceitful, she would be an excellent monarch.

Or a tax collector.

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Holly lets out a loud and humorous snort on that last joke, still hurriedly writing.

“Armak, I appreciate the backstory a lot here and all. And your jokes are top-notch in this story, really. Yet you’ve told me nothing about the actual coronation?”

“Well, Holly, to understand the importance of the change I'm talking about here you’re going to need some ample background information. I’m leaving a lot out too because I know you’re a tired elf right now. And when you’re a tired elf at night, you are often an angry elf in the morning.”

“Why do you keep saying ‘elf’ like that?”

“Like what?”

Holly rolled her eyes.

“Nevermind. What are you leaving out? Make it short, though. My hands are getting tired.”

“Well, first off: their father died when they were out at the war court. It was a very awkward cart ride back. Not just atmosphere-wise either, Seoven was quite large. The sisters also had a huge schism between them. Solaris was always jealous of Tungi’s preference and it was obvious to any observant man. Tungi would never say anything about it. She was optimistic that way. Oh! Solaris was also only kept on Seoven’s war court because she was one of the best generals she ever had. It was almost scary how great a strategic master she was. Tungi was the master logistician, fueling the army her sister led. As well as the rest of the Kroven clan. They were useful in their ways to Seoven.”

The sounds of lead drawing across the paper at speeds never recorded filled the night as he waited for Holly to catch up to his dictation. Armak stared at the sky, smiling. He liked talking of Tungi. She was a good friend of Armak, being the only one who could talk about old events as if they just happened. Mostly due to her studies. He always liked her excited attitude when she got invested in something she loved. A very dedicated woman to whatever craft she wanted to become a master of. Armak glanced at Holly and could remember Tungi doing the same thing on the floor of a tent in War Court.

As much as things change, some things just stay the same.

“Alright,” Holly said, putting down her pencil momentarily to stretch her hand. “I’ve caught up. Now, I love the backstory. And I will be sure to ask you about it later when I flesh out all these notes I'm taking. However, can we get to the big event itself already? It is getting late after all.”

Armak chuckled. “I forget others don’t have all the time in the world.” Holly made a face at him, motioning with her hands to continue the story.

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Right, the coronation itself despite its dour moods was set in an extravagantly decorated throne room. Red banners depicting the sun rising were hung from the rafters, a not so subtle indication of a new age rising in the land. And also the sun ascending the throne. Solaris was never a subtle person if she could help. Not that she couldn’t sneak, she just preferred to get away with it in open daylight. I remember I was standing with Seoven near the throne, a simple wooden chair by any other name. She wore an elegant dress of her minotaur people, something you won’t see anywhere else. A beautiful purple and gold accent thing. I wore rags compared to it. I think I wore actual rags… Regardless. I was there with Seoven because this was an important event. Not because of the coronation itself, but for the war effort. Sure, while the Southern Holdings had the manpower to supply to the war effort, it wasn’t what made them useful to Seoven. It was the high concentration of magic users. The country was the only one with a magical war college and had the best war casters in the Kroven Clan. Gukrag’s spellcasters consisted no more of a few souls who could create small bumps in the road. With this advantage, the Kroven Clan was advancing towards victory closer and closer. Seoven said to me,” I would rather Gukrag take this kingdom than watch her rise to the throne, but if it means I never have to hear that orc’s despicable name I will swallow my opinions.”

She had such a way with words.

I remember eyeing up the feast table to my right when the doors to the royal hall finally opened. Walking down the aisle was Solaris, tailed by four priests of the Celestial Faith (a very new change made towards the end of Oshphim’s life. One that was controversially thought to be not one made entirely of sound mind or outside influence if you catch my drift here Holly). Dressed in a trailing white gown, adorned with gold accents that reflected her radiant light, and her wings were fully unfurled. It was a spectacle show, one which Seoven visibly did not care for. Coming in, the last of the procession following Solaris, was her sister Tungi. She dressed for her father’s mourning, a simple black gown. A more striking statement could not have been made to the public. As Solaris walked up the steps to the throne and sat in it, I could feel the room tense. It was an uncanny feeling. It felt like the split second you saw someone’s fist before it collides with your nose.

The shoe had been raised and was now waiting to drop.

The priests walk up the steps to Solaris, two of them carrying a small box of obsidian and marble in their hands. The two priests carrying nothing turn to the crowd in the room, nobles and common folk alike. They said, “A new monarch sits upon the throne. The Exarch is dead, a new one rises like the sun. A phoenix from the ashes. Do those of the land’s holdings swear fealty to the ultimate, the one?”

A cry of,” For the Land, we swear fealty” echoes from the crowd. However, I could not forget that Seoven and Tungi remained quiet. For that matter, so did I. But in my defense, I had no idea that was going to happen. Seoven of course did not speak for she was above Solaris. The Empress was not about to swear fealty to a petty queen. But Tungi, she remained silent. A pained smile was on her face.

The two priests with the box opened it, removing a large and spiked golden crown from its interior. They raised it slowly above Solaris’s head and lowered it onto her head. The previous two priests turned to face Solaris and said aloud, “Solaris, daughter of Oshphim, by which power do you swear to keep the lands safe and prosperous? To lead us and keep our lands that shining beacon atop the hill?” Solaris raised one hand and simply laid it against her heart, speaking not a word. She didn’t need to. Murmurs among the crowd spoke for her. By her own divine powers, she declares in her movement, her reign is ordained. With the gesture understood by all, the priests bow their heads to Solaris before turning to the crowd once more.

“The lands have entered a new era! Praise be to the Celestials, who have granted us so much! Praise be to Exarch Solaris!” And as the people cheered, I suspect in fear of what would happen if they didn’t, Solaris rose from her throne. Her wings unfurled and spread wide, beams of light shining bright. The stained glass of the hall cast colors onto every surface, and the bells of the churches in the village below rang in immaculate chorus. The hall all knelt before their new ruler. Except for Seoven and me.

And Tungi.

And I could feel the shoe begin to lower.

“Rise, my loyal subjects. Rise and see your ruler speak to you.” Her voice carried through the very wind, sounding austere and serene. “These are confusing times, I know you all have your worries. My father was a great man, and deserved the praise and love you all gave him. I can only hope to do but a quarter of what he did for you all.” Her speech flowed like a creek in the fall, snaking its way into every ear. This is why she sat atop the throne.

“However, I am troubled that I am to bring more strife into your life.”

And like that, the show dropped.

I looked to Seoven, whose face shaped into one of concern and confusion. This was not how things should be happening. I looked at Tungi across the room and saw a similar look. I began to piece things together in my mind.

“There have been attacks on our lands recently, many of you are aware. We thought it to be the wretched Scartooths, those who broke through our brave soldiers’ front lines to pillage our people. However, I learn of a darker truth. There has been espionage among us! A traitor to us all has allowed bandits and worse to wreak havoc on our homes and farms! One who betrayed not only the people of our fair land but her father.”

The realization hits Seoven first, then I saw it shoot to Tungi across the room. I saw two guards, decked in white and gold armor, shut the mighty doors to the throne room hall. I stopped Seoven’s hand from reaching for her great ax at her hip. I knew what was happening, but if Seoven did what I thought she was going to do it was all for naught. We had to watch it happen. We were powerless.

“Tungi! How could you do this? Betray us all? How could you betray our father? The one who taught you all you knew and more? I know what you did! I know during our missions on the field of the war you would disappear for days only to return without a reason. Now I know the reason why! You were paying off Scartooth bandits to raid us! You sabotaged the supply lines and for what? I’ll tell you why she did it, my people.”

Tungi was shaking, her hands shooting to her mouth in shock. She was backing away from the approaching guards, their halberds drawn. The crowd was dead silent, not daring to make a sound. Tungi was being pushed closer and closer to her sister. I can remember the look of terror in her eyes as she approached me. I can remember the shaking rage of Seoven. The smug, sadistic look upon Solaris’s face.

“Dear sister is a Scartooth traitor!”

It took no great deal of magic to subdue Seoven’s rage. I could feel her anger at Solaris for these baseless accusations. But I knew that action here would only cause more harm. We could not afford a Civil War. So I could only watch in pain and regret the events play out. My entire being was spent trying to keep Seoven was bursting into a rage.

“Well? Have you nothing to say in your defense? Would you merely stand here before me and accept what I say as truth?”

A dirty trick and she knew it. Tungi was in shock, not a word would escape her. You could have put the quickest politician in her spot and not a word would be uttered. She trapped her. Everyone knew this was a ploy, Tungi would never. There was no ground for Solaris to do this. But she was the ruler. She was the law. And if they wanted to keep their heads, they would play along. Such is the game of politics.

As Tungi stood there silent, Solaris laughed.

“Just as I thought. The guilty would never own up to their failures.” Solaris stepped down the steps, standing over her sister with her incredible height. “You will pay for the terror you have put upon our people, and It will be harsh. You will rot in the dungeons for as long as I rule above.” Solaris smiled. “It is what the ruler would prefer happen.” Solaris then mentioned for the white and gold guards to take her sister, turning to walk back up the steps to the throne.

But the guards would never get Tungi.

A shockwave emanates from the Moon princess, sending onlookers and the guards back several feet. Even Solaris was shoved into the steps. Glorious wings of white and soft blue unfurled from Tungi as she rose into the air, arms stretched before her. The stained glass windows all shattered, and the great doors to the throne room were thrown off their hinges. The candles in the room all snuffed, and the sun outside was masked by rolling clouds of rain. I saw Solaris turn in shock and fear, such a look was never before seen on her face. And I felt it genuine.

Tungi as she floated in the air looked powerful, yet I saw on her face were tears. In a voice never before heard from her, it echoed deep and powerful. “Sister, why do you betray me so?! Why do you lie to our people as your first act as ruler? Do you truly hate me this much? Have I been this bad to you that you would banish and imprison me than talk? That you would make a power grab when no one dare opposes you?!” Another shockwave, sending cracks into the stonework of the castle. “Solaris! We are sisters! We are of these people! Why act like you’re above them! I do not see a throne of gold, but one of wood like any other might sit on. You rule a kingdom of wax, and I fear the day you burn too bright and watch it all melt!”

Tungi flew to open doors of the great hall and faced the crowd and her sister.

“I will return!” As she spoke, her voice cracked in a sob. “I-I will be back! I will reclaim this land from you! For I have no ambition of power, only ever wanting to serve my people. Yet I would rather be a reluctant ruler than one who would turn it to ruin. A traitor you call me? Then a traitor I shall become!”

With that last line, she looked forlornly down to me and Seoven, mouthed a word of sorrow and apology, and flew out the door. Never to be seen again in the realm.

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“The cart ride back to the war court was awful, let me tell you. It was just me and Seoven, Solaris staying behind to ‘serve’ her kingdom. I had to endure hours of yelling on betrayal, how it was all horsepiss that Tungi would even think to betray, that Solaris would be killed on sight if she ever saw here again and so much more. She also socked me for magically subduing her, but she understood why. We had a fun relationship like that.”

Holly looked up at Armak, shocked. Pencil unmoving.

“But what happened with Solaris after all of that?” “Oh, Seoven tried to ignore her as much as possible. Stave her influence off the war court as much as possible. However, Solaris had a chokehold on the most valuable resource ever; war casters. Plus, when news got out the Scartooths had an all-power Archmage it was only a matter of time before Seoven brought in Solaris’s magic again. Not that Solaris ever left the Southern Lands after that, she was afraid of Seoven, and rightfully so.”

“Who was the Scartooth’s new mage?” Armak grinned. “Who do you think?”

Holly’s face exploded in surprise. “TUNGI?! But I thought you said it was a lie that she was a traitor?”

“And it was. However, with nowhere else to turn in hope of regaining her throne, she went to Gukrag. It's funny, though. You are aware of Gukrag, right?”

Holly nodded. “Yes, the Warboss of the Scartooths. Big orc.”

“Exactly. When Tungi approached him, the story goes, he yelled into the sky ‘FUCKING FINALLY’ then proceeded to make her in charge of his nation.”

Holly blinked. “Wait what?”

“Well, not in charge of his nation per se. It took a while for Tungi to gain his trust. He saw her amazing magical skill. He saw that she could puppet hundreds of people, disintegrate whole armies, flood battlefields, and win things without a fight at all. This was incredibly boring to Gukrag. But, he was convinced of her loyalty to him in as far as reclaiming her old land. Gukrag then did perhaps the smartest thing he ever did. He put in her charge of making his country better. Holly, this orc could not run a major nation to save his life. The whole country was held together by fear of them disobeying Gukrag. She built schools, paved roads, healing buildings, made living spaces, she transformed that rough collection of tribes into a nation that is revered and respected to this very day. All according to Gukrag’s plan. He’s not an idiot, he is insanely clever and smart in ways outside of books. He knew he was no expert in nation-building, only in combat and battles. But the preferred daughter of the great nation builder Oshphim? You don’t have to be a genius, Holly.”

Holly sat there, speechless.

“This..this changes everything I thought I knew. But Armak, I’m confused. How is this a positive change? The rightful and good Monarch was usurped by the evil! Everything in that story was bad!” “Ah, but you think in the past. Think of the now. Ever heard of the Lunavla Empire?”

“You’re not saying..”

“I am. The most prosperous nation, the best place to live hands down. Accepting of all, turning away none. The noblest of places. I’d say that is a good change, wouldn’t you?” Armak stood laid back in the sand, getting comfortable. Holly, still scribbling away in her notepad, leaning against his long and gangly legs. “Armak, this..this is so interesting. I wish I could speak to another person there that day.” “Oh, you can.” Holly gave Armak a look of doubt. “I don’t want to use necromancy again, it makes me feel sick.” “No, silly girl. They are still alive. Two of them. I am good friends with one.”

Holly was growing tired of getting shocked. “Who? How old are they?” “Oh, she would not appreciate it if you asked her that. But I’m surprised you can’t piece it together.” “You don’t mean Tungi is still alive?” “Do you actually listen to my stories? Remember, she is half celestial.”

Holly closed her book and threw it in her bag, exhausted. She stretched out before returning to laying on Armak’s legs.

“You owe me an audience with a monarch.” “I owe no such thing.” But it didn’t matter, she was fast asleep. And as Armak looked up into the starry sky, he smiled.

A positive change indeed.

#St:A&H

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lupinepariah · 5 years ago

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Why I’m Otherkin

This is going to be very trigger-y so... to be forewarned is to have four arms, yeah? Wonderful. So, let’s rap.

My mother died last week.

Amongst most of my family I’m the “know-it-all ass-burgers r-word.” I object to this as I really don’t know a lot and I don’t know how I’d weigh my intelligence. If pressed, I’d likely say that I’m not very smart as admitting to intellect makes me feel guilty. I don’t know why. Why do they do it, then? It’s because I have a strong propensity for being right.

You see, I have a strong propensity for doing something they never do. Thinking.

My mother is the only one in my family I’ve ever cared about. I admit, we’re a little distant but I did love her and I cared for her, I never wanted her to suffer. A friend of the family had a mother die not long before my mother died and they wouldn’t listen to me for the aforementioned reason, I wanted to tell their mother about an experimental treatment that was at least worth trying. No no, I’m just talking out of my arse.

That’s how it often is. I don’t think it’s especially difficult to not be stupid? You just have to think first. Is there really so much difficulty in that? I mean... I recall not so long ago when I was screaming at “medical professionals” to stop faecal transplant tests. There’s so much stuff we can’t screen for well and all you’d need is the combination of a superbug and a compromised immune system for people to start dying. It had to happen for them to stop, of course. They did it until people died for exactly that reason.

No one wants to listen to an r-word with ass-burgers.

What frustrates me with my mother though is that the solution to keeping her alive was so simple.

She started new medication recently. It turns out everyone in my family was told about this except for myself, which is dandy. The first thing I advise anyone to do is to check the side effects to make sure that there aren’t any co-morbid effects with any other drugs they might be on, or any instigators of underlying health problems they might have. Fat chance. My family got my mother popping meds without even bothering to read the documentation that came with them.

The first thing I do with anyone is tell them to check the side effects. Always check the side effects. Always check the side effects.

The truth is? I have loads of life experiences like this. I’ve been abused in every way you can imagine. I’ve been through the ringer. Physical, mental, sexual, emotional, and everything else. No matter what could happen to me these days, I’ve felt worse. That’s why the situation with my mother just leaves me feeling cold and angry, and little else.

The truth is is that my experiences with human beings that actually want to be human beings is that they can be monsters. I admit that this isn’t all of them, I’m sure it can’t be, but it is true for the vast, vast, vast, vast, vast, vast, vast, vast... you get the point, the vast majority. They’re monsters.

I was raised by dogs due to parents that were either neglectful or abusive. The dogs died because of abuse, missed vaccines, or other reasons... they were replaced with other dogs because it was the only thing that kept me sane. After all, you have to keep up appearances and make it look like it’s the problmeatic child’s fault rather than the alcoholic, violent, dysfunctional parents. Isn’t that always the way of it? Very relateable, yes?

The truth is is that I’ve had so many bad experiences that I... I don’t feel like I’m a good fit with this species. I’m too kind. I’m too considerate. I think before I act. I actually care. I help people even if they’ve hurt me so, so badly that all I feel for them is hatred. All I want for anyone is to not have to suffer as I do. So while most humans look like monsters to me, I don’t want them to suffer.

This gives one a... unique outlook on life.

As a coping mechanism I started thinking of myself as, well, not human. It helped. It helped so much. And over time I became mentally healthy, even well-adjusted, I’m certainly a lot less angry these days. I even have a partner! They’re non-binary and they’re absolutely lovely, I couldn’t ask for a better partner, so very supportive, creative, and clever. And then my mother died.

It’s hard not to feel set back by it. I feel like I’m teetering on a razor’s edge. I feel that the only way I can cling to my sanity is by more deeply embracing these very strong feelings I have of not being human. The human species—so overly obsessed with itself—brings me great shame. I feel shame and pain that I’m to share this species until the day I die, in body if not in heart and mind.

There’s an autistic community called Wrong Planet because it’s not unusual for autistic people to feel this way. It’s just that for some of us the alienation is so much more profound and extreme than it is for others. We feel it so deeply that we could never be “human,” not in the sense that most would understand that word. I mean, we could certainly never be normal and we’d never want to. It’s a horrible word, isn’t it? Normal. It suggests a binary state where one is the innate default and correct, whereas the other isn’t. How could that be anything other than pathological by design?

Being Otherkin is my coping mechanism.

It isn’t spiritual. I’m not an animal. I don’t have an animal living inside of me. I don’t have an animal spirit. I just really want to be something other than human, thanks.

So I think of myself as a lycanthrope. I’ve an imaginary support dragon who’s there when I’m alone and I have to handle things myself. It’s only by the merit of these two factors that I stay sane. If I had to think of myself as human, if I lost my support dragon, I’d be bouncing off the walls and chewing the furniture to pieces because I’d have no means to handle all of the unimaginably awful things that had been done to me, all of the suffering I’d endured.

No matter how bad something makes me feel, I’ve felt worse. I could only really go up and Otherkin was my way up. It’s a comfort, a small one in a world so bent on destroying itself as this one is. I mean, depletion of the rainforests and a huge hole in the ozone layer and people are still breeding like bunny rabbits. This is what scientists refer to as The Great Filter. Frankly, if not for SARS-CoV-2, humanity likely would’ve gone extinct within the next century.

I feel that SARS-CoV-2 has given the human species a chance to pull back from the brink.

It’s funny because I’ll never know anything other than hatred. I know that. It’s almost impossible for an Otherkin like myself to find any allies other than fellow Otherkin. I mean, I tried to reach out to trans people and they thought I was a meme created to hurt them because that’s what the Alt-Right very successfully brainwashed them into believing. So much for that, right?

I don’t hate trans people for this. That’d be stupid. They’re suffering too. No, I get that they were hacked and it’s not their fault. If you aren’t acting with full agency then you can’t really be blamed.

Every time something happens though that keys into my personal support mechanism I can’t help but latch onto it. I feel included, for once. It’s actually really nice to feel included. This is why I’ve been fixated upon Guild Wars 2 and why it’s been so important to me. I’ve been getting very clingy with it since my mother died because I love being charr and there may just be a good therapy dragon in the latest content. I’d love that.

If ArenaNet wants to do something for one person who’s suffered way too much? Don’t make Jormag evil. I’d really appreciate that. It’s going to hurt like hell if they are. I hate it when dragons always have to be evil because I’m Otherkin. I love dragons.

It’s a perspective thing, yeah?

I don’t really know how to explain it. I don’t think you’d really be able to understand without having gone through decades of torture and abuse. It just shifts your perspective. If I were to show you a picture of five scantily clad humans facing off against a dragon, you’d know for certain that it’s a depiction of heroes versus an evil draconic beast. What I see, however, is a bunch of thieves, burglars, and freebooters looking to slaughter an innocent dragon so they can steal the poor thing’s belongings. The dragon? They’re a mother protecting a clutch of newborn children.

Dragons don’t look like monsters to me. Humans do, though.

That’s unlikely to ever change. I hurt too much for it to.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I hate humans or anything. I don’t really have it in me to hate anyone as that would mean I’d have to want someone to suffer and enjoy it, which I couldn’t. I’d vomit. I’m as diametrically opposed to suffering as anyone could be. I’m really sick of how forced to suffer so many of us are already. It’s just that I can’t look at a human now and not at first see a monster because I have so much trauma to deal with and work through.

So, yeah. I’m Otherkin. It helps. It helps a lot. I love werewolves, dragons, robots, aliens, sapient fungi, and lots of other non-human stuff. It’s great. Sadly, humans being innately narcissistic tend to demonise anything unfamiliar to them, the human species has been doing that since the dawn of time with factors as trivial as skin colour or the shape of one’s nose. It’s tiresome. That’s why whenever something is special enough to have truly non-human entities as forces of genuine kindness opposed to suffering? It wins my heart.

I feel in love with Aurene in Guild Wars 2 for that reason. I feel that that game has been part of my ongoing therapy. I... do worry about being hurt by how they handle Jormag but I do hope. I really do.

So, yeah. That’s why I’m Otherkin. That’s the long and short of it. if you aren’t? I don’t hate you. It’s just that if we met, you’d probably want to hurt me. That tends to be how it goes. I don’t find comfort in the presence of humans. I do find much comfort though in the dreams of being a werewolf protected within a dragon’s shadow. That’s about the only way I can be healthy.

#otherkin #feelings #trigger warning

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twdmusicboxmystery · 8 years ago

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7x11: General Analysis

***Ridiculously massive spoilers for episode 7x11!!! Don't read if you haven't watched! You've been warned!***

Good morning All! What did you all think of last night's episode? I really loved it. So if you haven't yet, let me encourage you one more time to go read @thegloriouscollectorlady's analysis of how Dwight and Sherry are anti-parallels to Bethyl. I'll reiterate some of it here, but at times I'll reference what she said and it may not be clear if you haven't read it. Read it here: Part 1 and Part 2.

Okay, so all week I've been telling you guys that when my FB group read the spoilers for this episode, we basically started freaking out and jumping up and down, right? Mostly that was because, due to Sherry's note, we could see the Bethyl parallels. Just as with last week's episode, we're seeing the narrative be shaped here, and things we haven't had definitive answers to in the past are starting to fall into place.

(Most of the stuff I'll talk about are anti-parallels: how these situations are opposite of Daryl's and/or Beth's. Keep that in mind.)

So, the first thing we see is the remnants of Fat Joey's sandwich. It only stuck out to me because we see a somewhat crushed tomato front and center, and today I had a Nonny ask me about the symbol of tomatoes. Here it is again. I'm not sure what it means in this case, honestly. I'm sorry to be morbid, but I couldn't help but think that the smashed sandwich might have been a metaphor for Joey's smashed head. (Ew.)

So then we see Dwight realize Daryl has escaped and Eugene being taken to his new rooms. The red door is here again! I mentioned it in 7x03, The Cell, but I didn't fully understand it's function then. I think I do now.

As I always say, I think red = death. That's why I didn't know what to make of it in 7x03. Daryl obviously didn't die and he's not going to anytime soon. So why the red door? Well, Eugene went through that same door. But notice the difference between him and Daryl. Daryl refused Negan's hospitality and wouldn't kneel (at least so far as to say he was Negan). Eugene did. So I'm thinking the red door stands for spiritual death or perhaps the death of independence/individuality. So it's a metaphorical death. Daryl was taken into that room and "tempted" as it were by Negan, the devil. But accepting Negan would have been metaphorical death. Daryl refused. It makes me worry about Eugene a bit, but I'll get to that later.

In his rooms, we clearly see a dart board. In the fridge, beer (moonshine reference perhaps) and lots of green bottles. While talking with the blond Savior, he asks if he can have lobster. That's super interesting to me. The biggest symbol with a lobster is the fact that it has a tough outer shell to protect itself. It's not so different than the ladybug symbol for Beth. But here, Eugene is denied the lobster and instead requests pasta (a soft, sometimes mushy food).

Then he mentions that the book he has is Vonda N. MacIntyre. I looked her up. She's a real scifi author who would be well known among scifi geeks like Eugene. I may do a separate post on her later in the week, as there are several things about using her as a reference that's interesting. The thing that jumped out at me most though was that one attribute in her most famous book series has to do with humans who have been genetically modified to live underwater. They gain the traits of water animals, including crustaceans. So it kind of goes hand in hand with the lobster reference, but I also can't help but think of all the ocean references we've had lately. Perhaps a reference to Oceanside, as well as adapting to one's environment in order to survive.

The chip issue was confusing to me. Eugene asked for chips and she said Number 42 (the person) made them. I'm sure 42 is significant, but nothing's coming to me to explain how. Also, once Eugene learned the chips were homemade, he didn't want them. Not sure why that is, but I may have a theory. Stay tuned.

Also notice how Eugene had the opposite reaction to Easy Street that Daryl did. It was torturous for Daryl, where Eugene seemed to think it was catchy. Anti-parallel.

Dwight is beaten for Daryl's escape, which really backs up the point @thegloriouscollectorlady made in her meta about how Dwight thinks he's the "Boss" but he's really not. One thing goes wrong--Daryl escaping--which was not at all Dwight's fault, and suddenly he's being beaten and imprisoned.

So we learn that Sherry took off and that the note was from her. It's actually super interesting to me that she's the one that left the matches for Daryl. (Remember that the note included a key and a match--key theory around Beth as well as the obvious match reference--and then there was a match box in the door when Daryl left the building. In light of all the Sherry/Dwight anti-Bethyl parallels, that not only ties Sherry to Beth, but it's an anti-parallel because Beth burnt the place down. Sherry didn't. She simply threw some matches at it.

But of course it goes deeper than just the surface, plot stuff as well. As @thegloriouscollectorlady said, Beth helped free Daryl of his past. She burnt the moonshine shack down with him. Sherry, on the other hand, threw matches at him and then ran away. Anti-parallel.

Negan told Dwight, "Daryl's not like you. He's emotional." Later in the episode, after burning Dr. Carson, he told Dwight he was sorry. When Dwight claimed he wasn't, Negan was said he was cold as ice.

Now, we've said since 7x03 that Dwight is the anti-Daryl, and this is more evidence of that. Daryl is emotional. Dwight is not. This has just become a VERY deep theme. But I'll talk about it more when I get to Sherry's note.

When Eugene goes into the common area, I notice the blond Savior (don't know her name) says, "cut your head." She was talking about a barber and Eugene's mullet, but that was pretty ominous. Sounds like a foreshadow to me, but whether aimed at Eugene or the Savior, I couldn't say.

Then there was the random occurrence of Eugene witnessing someone steal something. That long-haired guy who put something under his jacket. Not sure what that was about, but they never followed up on it, so chances are it will come back into play later.

Pickles! I doubt I'll get to my pickles theory in this post (it's already long) but maybe tomorrow I'll share a few different pickles theories I have after this episode. For now, check out THIS POST for a reference of how pickles = a resurrection symbol.

When Eugene goes outside to talk to Negan, notice how Negan mentions sending Simon to Alexandria to play "good cop" looking for Daryl. So just notice that this episode has taken us back in time a bit. I believe I remember reading that episodes 10 and 11 were supposed to be in opposite places in the lineup, but tptb switched them for unknown reasons. Originally this should have been ep 10 and last week's should have been ep 11. So that may account for the back-in-time-ness of the narrative.

So when questioned by Negan, Eugene goes back to the lie he originally told TF in S4. This is not good, guys. Remember what @thegloriouscollectorlady said in her meta about how going backward, into the past, will kill the characters? It killed Tina. It's killing Sherry and Dwight. Beth told Daryl as much. "Places like this…(meaning his past) you gotta put it away. Or it kills you."

Eugene is regressing to his earlier lie, and that does not bode well for his safety. More on that in a minute.

He also mentions having an eidetic memory. I'm sorry to keep saying this, but more on that in a minute. I'm just mentioning these and then I'll bring them all together. I promise! But there were a TON of memory references in this episode. An eidetic memory, for the record, is the scientific term for a photographic memory. For all you Criminal Minds fans out there, think Doctor Spencer Reid. ;D

Oh, you know the metal idea Eugene has? He tells Negan to poor metal over the walkers on the fences?

I instantly thought back to episode 6x14 when he took Abraham to bullet factory for the first time. Remember he tried to kill the walker himself, but Abraham did and Eugene got mad at him? The reason he struggled was that the walker had metal on its head and rebar sticking out of its body. His knife hit the metal and bounced off. Guys, no WAY that wasn't a foreshadowing of this. He gave Negan a way to smelt walkers to his fence and even told him to cover their heads with metal so they couldn't be easily killed. I only mention it to show that this kind of foreshadowing exists. If the foreshadowing with that walker has come to pass for Eugene, then how the hell can all the blond, Beth walkers not mean anything. Oh, right, they must!

In terms of the title, Eugene says it when talking about putting metal on the walkers' heads to keep them from being taken out. So the people he refers to as "hostiles and calamities" are specifically those who would shoot the walkers in the head. Just thought that was interesting.

Umm… When talking to Negan's wives about making a bomb, Eugene mentions that he needs balloons. They end up using latex gloves instead, but the balloon reference caught my ear.

Okay, let's get to Sherry's note, and I promise I'll pull some of this together. This was a tremendously sad scene. As @thegloriouscollectorlady so deftly pointed out, the anti-parallels here were very strong. To reiterate: Beth's love made Daryl strong, more independent. Sherry's love killed Dwight, destroyed who he was. There's the obvious dialogue parallel. (Beth: “You have to stay who you are, not who you were.” Sherry: “I loved who you were. I’m sorry I made you who you are.”) This is SO powerful for TD, guys! Sherry and Dwight are the anti-Bethyl.

Let me throw stuff about the cabin itself in. It looked SO much like the moonshine cabin, especially on the inside. And obviously that backs up the Bethyl parallels.

But it's more than that. We know for a fact that Emily filmed in that little white cabin during S5, and we still haven't seen those scenes yet. While there are lots of theories, it's really been anyone's guess how those cabin scenes would fit into the narrative. Most people think they will come in flashback form, and they still could. But to me, THIS scene with Dwight is the reason we haven't seen those scenes yet. They had to set up these anti-parallels for us first. Whatever and whenever those scenes end up being, they'll be related to this one. Equal, but opposite. Anti-parallel. My first thought upon reading these spoilers was, "well no wonder we haven't seen the damn cabin scenes yet! They had to show us this first!" Well, now they have.

I gotta say: I have no idea how those scenes will play out, but based on all the other anti-Bethyl parallels to this scene and these characters, it really does seem like Beth might be waiting for Daryl in a cabin somewhere. Because Sherry wasn’t there when Dwight arrived.

(Notice the key by the front door in the above picture. Key Theory.)

So here's the thing about what Sherry says. This is the crux of the memory theme. She says Dwight has a shitty memory. Here are the exact words:

"You remember that? I know. You probably don't. You always said that, when we started dating, you forgot to tell me that you had a shitty memory. You used to get so frustrated by it, knowing you wouldn't remember those good days, those special days. I felt bad for you. I remember you said there was so much you wanted to hold on to, and then it'd be gone. But you're lucky you don’t remember things, D…

I let Daryl go because he reminded you of who you used to be, and I wanted to let you forget…

I hope you get away. I hope you remember the good days, even just one of them, but I don't think you will…"

Okay. Guys, this is so tremendously tragic. Such a beautifully crafted story. First let me say that Dwight has been revealed in this episode as a tragic hero. Does everyone know what a tragic hero is? For those who don't, I'll quickly explain.

The tragic hero is a trope used in classical literature (especially Greek lit and Shakespeare) where the hero is a genuinely good person, but has one major flaw that they simply cannot overcome. That flaw seals their doom and usually leads to their death, along with tons of other tragedy along the way. See Oedipus Rex, Hamlet, King Lear, Othello, to name a few. The flaw can usually be summed up with something very general like arrogance, blindness, etc.

(Negan even uses a Shakespeare line when he tells Eugene that if he has sex with his wives, it's a "grave no-no." Using 'grave' to mean both serious and like a grave in a cemetery is something Shakespeare did often. The most famous example is probably Romeo and Juliet. A tale of doomed lovers. Kinda like Dwight and Sherry.)

And what is Dwight's tragic flaw? He has a shitty memory.

But understand how deep this goes, guy. We're not talking about Dwight forgetting to take out the trash here. Memory is a deeply emotional thing. We ALWAYS associate memories with emotions. Dwight can't remember the "good" days because he can't hold onto the emotions of them long enough to hold onto the memories. Daryl is exactly the opposite of that. The emotions he felt about Beth are all he has left to hold onto. That's why he couldn't kneel. He remembers everything. He holds onto everything. Beth told him to let go of his past and his negative baggage, and he did. He was happier than we'd ever seen him when he did that. But what did he replace it with? Happy memories of Beth. That's why he can't kneel. That's why he'll never be Dwight. He doesn't share Dwight's tragic flaw.

Dwight became very emotional when Daryl wouldn't kneel, because Daryl was reminding him of the "good" days and bringing some of those emotions back. Sherry says it's merciful that Dwight can't remember. Obviously that's because the pain is just too much for her. Then in the next sentence she contradicts herself, saying that she hopes he'll remember just one of the good days. Then she says, "but I don't think you will." Sherry knows Dwight better than anyone. She knows what he'll do. And I think this theme has everything to do with his actions toward Dr. Carson in the show.

In terms of symbols at the cabin, we have lots of broken glass, and even the picture in the frame is reminiscent of 5x09, which showed a picture of a cabin. The cabin theme has become very potent in this how. Cabins seem to be a place where people work out their issues. Obviously we have Bethyl in the moonshine shack. Tyreese was in one when he died, and he had to forgive himself and give himself permission to let go and move on. Carol is in one now, and as I've said before, I think it represents her penance while she works through her issues about Karen/David and Lizzie/Mica. Now Dwight in this cabin. I believe the time in the cabins transforms the characters into who they're going to be from now on. We saw that with Bethyl. We haven't seen it with Carol yet, but I think we will. We definitely see it here with Dwight, and it's awful.

Just the fact that Sherry is writing notes is a parallel to Beth's journal. We've also seen notes associated with the wolves.

Wedding Ring Theme: I haven't mentioned it since S6 (X) as it hasn't really come up in S7, but it was back with a vengeance here. In the past, the wedding rings we've seen belonged to devoted couples in healthy relationships. We saw them around Deanna and Reggie, Sasha and Abraham. Even Rick's which he removed when he and Michonne hooked up, still represented first his devotion to Lori and then removing it signaled a new devotion to Michonne. In this case, Dwight had obviously taken off his ring but kept it in the cigarette box some time before. The fact that he kept it at all shows that he was still holding onto his marriage. Sherry leaving her rings behind shows an end to their marriage. Again, so sad.

As @thegloriouscollectorlady noted, the "I'm don't think I’m gonna make it" parallels Sherry with Noah. Noah helped Beth escape Grady (even though it didn't go as planned) and then said this. And then died. Sherry helped Daryl escape, then said this. So I seriously doubt she'll last much longer, if we even see her again at all.

Then the beer and pretzels. It's the obvious parallel to the moonshine. But @thegloriouscollectorlady and I also talked about the difference between beer and moonshine. Moonshine is obviously much stronger, more potent. And Beth took to it right away. We're thinking that the message here is simply that the Bethyl love was much deeper and stronger than that between Dwight and Sherry. Another anti-parallel.

Some other random symbols and then we'll get to Dwight's actions with the doctor. With Amber, we apparently have a blond who wants to commit suicide. Granted, it was a lie, but still. The line "she just drinks and cries" stood out to me as well.

Especially given Beth's line, "Today I just wanted to lay down and cry, but we don't get to do that." And Amber was drunk pretty much this entire episode.

When Eugene wanted drugs from the lady handing them out, he said her number was 16. The obvious reference there is the finale, but no idea how (or if) that will pan out. Then he took a green stuffed anial that looked a bit like a frog to me. (We've seen frog references before, specifically in Them (X) They’re a resurrection symbol). He called it a grembly-gunk. Especially given the green color, it reminded me of the green Gremlin car at Hilltop in 7x04.

I thought it was interesting that Eugene told Negan's wives that the only reason Negan believed Dwight over the doctor was because the doctor was expendable. Eugene is definitely still thinking on his feet and that's an interesting insight into Negan. Obviously it has nothing to do with what Negan actually believes. Just who he believes he can live without.

Also, as he already talked about having a spare Dr. Carson (the one at Hilltop) you can see how they're setting up some drama in coming episodes. If they go to Hilltop to get that doctor, well, Maggie is there for one thing. And Negan thinks she's dead. It's also where Daryl is heading. I feel calamities comes to a head, don't you?

The other thing we talked about a lot in our FB group was Eugene saying he was Negan. Now, it seems many people believe he's lying. Just telling Negan what he wants to hear so Negan doesn't kill him, but I'm not so sure. I hope that's what he's doing, because I like Eugene and would be sad to see him betray TF. But let me show you all something:

This was written on Morgan's wall in Clear.

I've always assumed it meant Eugene would die eventually. I mean, Morgan wrote this about many people who are on the walls, including Zack (Beth's boyfriend who was bitten; granted, he was really eaten rather than turning, but it really amounts to the same thing) and Duane (Morgan's son who we know was bitten by his own mother). So it seems Eugene might undergo the same thing eventually. But what if that writing didn't refer specifically to turning into a walker. Or at least not JUST to that. Eugene saying "I am Negan" might have been a fulfillment of this writing. We may have been seeing him "turn" to the dark side, you know? (And can I just be a TD geek and say that there's tons of other things written on those walls that we think has to do with Beth. If the Eugene thing has been fulfilled this season, others might as well. ;D)

I felt like Eugene's line about molten metal at the end was a foreshadow of someone being burned by molten metal. (This was after the doctor, so I don't think it was pointing to that.) It had a very Game of Thrones feel to it.

Negan called Daryl a puppy (dog reference; and remember dogs often = imprisonment theme). (X) Dwight grabbed a handful of lollipops at the beginning. We saw them again at the end. He didn't actually eat them, but that's a parallel to Beth's green lollipop at Grady, and as Dwight has embraced his evilness now, it might even parallel him directly with Gorman (though admittedly Dwight is not a rapist). As with Gorman, he participates in keeping people hostage in the Grady-like situation, and uses his power to hurt others (Dr. Carson).

I also have to say that this killing-a-doctor-for-your-own-gain thing is STRONGLY reminiscent of Edwards purposely killing Trevitt, who was also a doctor. Yet another parallel to Beth's imprisonment.

Dr. Carson's words about how people like Sherry don't survive is a whole lot like Lennie's dialogue to Daryl in S4 about the "little ones" not surviving long out there. Yet another Daryl parallel. But anti-parallel too because Daryl lunged at Lennie while Dwight sat still and listened. Later Lennie was killed, but not by Daryl. Here, Dwight was specifically responsible for Dr. Carson's death.

Okay, back to Dwight and the doctor. I didn't know why Dwight did what he did at first. It did seem to me that both times he talked with the doctor, Dwight was not at all pleased by what the doctor was saying. He seemed very threatened by it. Listening to the first convo, the doctor did say he thought Sherry had let Daryl go, so I Thought killing him might have been Dwight's way of protecting Sherry. He told Negan she was dead and maybe he saw the doctor as a threat. But the thing is, with Sherry "dead" he didn't really need to throw Dr. Carson under the bus. It simply wasn't necessary.

But I go back to what Sherry said. She said she didn't think Dwight would "remember." That he wanted to forget. Forget the emotions. It's too painful. That's exactly what Dwight did. The doctor was talking to him about how good-hearted Sherry was, how she sacrificed herself to save her husband, how she had a big heart, but they aren't allowed to have those anymore. I think it pissed Dwight off because it was dredging up too many emotions, and Dwight wanted to forget, so he got rid of the Doctor.

As much sympathy as I feel for Dwight, he's gone full-Shane now, guys. He's embracing his evil/Negan side and more than ever, I'm sure he's toast before long. Maybe not by the end of the season, but I don't think he's going to be around long term.

Many people have wondered if they'll follow his comic arc, where he turns on Negan and becomes an ally of Rick to help defeat Negan. I've always been skeptical because I just don't see Daryl ever being able to trust Dwight. At all. In fact, next time they see each other Daryl will just try to kill him, so how would an alliance ever work? But here we've seen that not only has Dwight not overcome his fatal flaw, he's actually embraced it, going out of his way to remove obstacles to his "forgetting."

He's embraced Negan completely and "isn't sorry" to have lost Sherry. Sherry and Dwight are gonners, my friends. I can see them both dying just prior to Beth’s return to drive home the lesson that Dwight and Sherry’s actions lead to their deaths while Beth and Daryl’s will lead to them living. It fits well with the theme because it shows that those who have done what Beth and Daryl have done will live. Those whose love isn't strong enough to overcome obstacles like Negan will die. (I gotta say, cheesy as it sounds, it has a very true-love-conquers-all feel, which may explain all the fairy tale templates. I'm loving this in the geekiest way possible. :D)

Finally, notice how tragic Negan's dialogue is here when taken symbolically. This is about Sherry's supposed death, but if you think of it as the death of their relationship and Sherry as a person, it takes on a whole new meaning:

"A super hot girl, horrifically killed because of your greedy, delusional, tiny, little prick."

In other words, Sherry was destroyed as a person, and their relationship was destroyed because they chose comfort over freedom. Because Dwight didn't have the balls to stand up to Negan.

The other thing I wanted to say about Eugene and why I'm worried for his safety (you know, other than the "Eugene turned" on Morgan's wall) is that he, too, is being set up as an anti-parallel to Daryl. He liked Easy Street. Daryl didn't. He knelt. Daryl didn't. He said he was Negan. Daryl didn't. He couldn’t have the lobster with the tough outer shell. So if Daryl escaped with his life, Eugene may not. I have a theory about this, but I'll post it later in the week.

That's actually what I meant about having a theory about the chips, too. I wondered if the "homemade chips" could be equated with the moonshine, which by definition is homemade. Beth and Daryl drank the homemade stuff. Eugene refused it. Anti-parallel.

I genuinely hope Eugene doesn’t die, but none of this bodes especially well for him.

So this week I'll probably do a Pickle Theories post, a music post, a TTD post (maybe) and at least one more I want to touch on. Stay tuned for those. What did everyone else think of this episode? If you didn't like it, be patient. Looks like we'll get some Richonne lovin' next episode. ;D

#td #beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance

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travelingthroughnightmares · 8 years ago

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How I Met Your Mother

I read something about the HIMYM finale the other day that I had never considered before. The finale was terrible, there’s no doubt about that, and you and I always bristled (justifiably, and as many others do) at the fact that they had spent the whole season building up Tracy as Ted’s soulmate only to kill her off in the last episode so Ted had an excuse to reunite with Robin. I still think, from a storytelling perspective, that this was a terrible decision, especially once you consider how much work they had dedicated in the previous seasons to showing us that Ted and Robin really weren’t right for each other. I mean, there’s the whole argument that throughout the entire series, Ted has been shown to be an unreliable narrator, and the whole “Robin’s not right for me; Tracy is the perfect girl,” motif may have been exaggerated because older Ted is trying really hard to convince his kids that the story really has been about the mother the whole time… but that’s a purely theoretical (though admittedly supportable) interpretation.

That being said, there’s another detail about Tracy that most people (us included) don’t really give a lot of thought to. We were all so taken by how perfect she was for Ted that I think many of us glossed over the fact that before she met Ted, Tracy was in a relationship with a guy named Max, who she believed to be the love of her life. His death, if you recall, is the inciting incident that kicks off the whole “How Your Mother Met Me” episode, and indeed, much of the episode is dedicated to Tracy finding the courage to allow herself to love again. With Ted being the main character in our minds, we interpreted everything about Tracy (her quirks, her interests, her sense of humor) in relation to how perfect she is for him, and in doing so, we kind of discounted her entire story and the hell she must have gone through to get to a point where she was prepared to meet Ted. That’s not entirely our fault—up to that point, we’d spent 10 seasons with Ted and all of 1 episode with Tracy—but it’s yet another demonstration of how our interpretation of events depends so much on who’s perspective we’re understanding it from.

The craziest thing is that one of the biggest themes of HIMYM is precisely that message! We’re constantly being shown the same events from the different perspectives, to the point where we even have the same character offering different perspectives from two different time periods (younger Ted and older Ted). Stella leaving Ted at the altar practically beat us over the head with that motif—we were so conscious of the possibility that Robin might ruin the wedding we didn’t even consider Stella’s ex-husband showing up and making her realize she belonged with him the whole time. But at the same time, I don’t think the message behind that episode was, “Hey, you all ought to have considered the possibility that Stella’s ex-husband would ruin the wedding.” It was expected and designed to catch us off guard, perhaps to show us that it’s hard enough to make meaning from the way we interpret things from our own perspective. To constantly consider the world from another perspective in addition to our own is, perhaps, too great of a responsibility for us to shoulder. Especially if ours is one with which we are struggling.

On top of this, when I reflect on the season 7 finale (the one where Ted drives off into the sunset with Victoria), it also occurs to me that even when we are able to hold someone else’s perspective alongside our own, theirs will invariably exist on a lower rung. Ted has a moment—this one moment of clarity and selflessness—where he decides he can’t run away with Victoria because he remembers what it was like to be left at the altar. For one brief moment, he cannot envision doing to Klaus what Stella’s ex-husband did to him. So he does what he knows in his heart is right—he turns the car around and takes Victoria back to her wedding. Ultimately, though, Ted doesn’t love Klaus. He loves (or believes he loves) Victoria. He drives past the church. He drives into the sunset. We are left to wonder if this means that Victoria really is the mother after all. It isn’t until the next season that we find out that Ted doesn’t truly love Victoria in the fullest sense of the word. He can’t sacrifice Robin for her. And Victoria knows this, which is why her last words to Ted are, “I really hope you get her someday.” Does this change our perspective on Ted’s decision to drive into the sunset with Victoria at the end of the previous season? I think it depends on how we look at it. You could argue that in order to justify making that kind of decision, he ought to have been sure that Victoria was the one. You could also argue that he didn’t exactly have enough time to figure that out and so he made the decision based on the chance that Victoria could be the one. You could further argue that at that point, the writers simply had no idea whether the show would be renewed for another season and so wanted to make sure there was, no matter what, a “mother” in place in case they had to bring the show to a swift conclusion (<--the likely explanation, but one that deals more with the metanarrative than the narrative itself). In the end, though, I think the point remains that regardless of how often we’re shown events from other people’s perspectives, Ted being the narrator and “hero” of the show invariably drives us to understand the events and the people around him in relation to how they affect his life.

Thus, while our inability to truly appreciate Tracy’s struggle with her dead ex-boyfriend isn’t something to be commended, I think it is at least something for which we have to forgive ourselves. Even the title suggests that the episode is meant to be understood in relation to Ted—after all, there is a difference between “How I Met Your Father,” and “How Your Mother Met Me.” Granted, naming the episode “How I Met Your Father” would necessitate that Tracy is alive and well in the present day to narrate the story, which, according to canon, is not the case. Nonetheless, if we take the time to consider and appreciate the fact that Tracy had been very much in love with someone she believed to be her soulmate before she met Ted, it casts a different light on her own death, and perhaps offers an alternative explanation for why Ted is telling his kids the whole story of how he met Tracy in the first place.

I’m thinking now that one of the most poignant scenes in the whole series is the one where Tracy goes out onto the front porch of the beach house, looks up into the night sky, and asks Max for his permission to move on from him. It’s been eight years since his death, and the more I think about it, the more I’m wondering if this was the only other real example of true love in the show besides Marshall and Lily. Because for Tracy to have held onto Max in her heart for eight years—for her to look to him for guidance, even after all that time—I don’t think she would have done that unless she believed her heart truly did belong to him and him alone. Even if the gust of wind she interprets as his permission for her to love again is something she made up in her heart, I think it’s telling that she has to understand it as a sign from him.

It’s strange that I started off this essay talking about how terrible an ending it was for Tracy to die and for Ted to go back to Robin. This is why writing things out sometimes makes us reconsider our ideas about them. Because now I’m thinking, maybe that ending wasn’t quite as bad as we thought. Maybe the ending was exactly what it needed to be and the problem actually lies in a lot of the stuff that preceded it. It was definitely set up poorly from a storytelling perspective; I will probably stick to that forever because I think it’s a clear fact. But I think about all the things that Tracy says in light of Max’s death—things like, “I’m on permanent hiatus from the love department,” or “I guess I’m old fashioned. I believe that each of us only gets one, and I got mine already.” It occurs to me that nobody else in the show (except perhaps Marshall and Lily) ever talks about their significant others like that. Even when she meets the dude she eventually dates immediately before meeting Ted, she refers to finding Max like winning the lottery and she adds, “I’m pretty sure I’m never going to win again. Not like that anyway.” So as morbid as this sounds, maybe her death was exactly what needed to happen after all. Maybe, in the end, everyone gets to be with the person they truly love. I think people are mad at the way Ted goes back to Robin because it contradicts the idea that Ted and Tracy were “meant” for each other. In truth, Tracy belied that notion long before she and Ted ever met.

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