#especially since i already plan on changing a few things in the fic timeline wise

[more-than-just-her-light]

should i stay true to my goal of waiting for season 7 to drop before writing my rayllum memory loss idea or should I just say 'screw it' and start writing it now?

[imaginaryelle]

Wei Wuxian, Mutism and Non-Verbal Communication

I am making a fresh post because I’ve been having issues with asks and especially read mores in asks, and this post is definitely going to require that. So. (edit: this is now also available to read on AO3!)

@tamyourue​​​ asked:

For the prompt request thingy - I'm a Sign nerd, and I've read quite a few mute!lwj, which is not that surprising. But what about a mute!wwx? I think it would be interesting to explore that with the way his family and lwj would handle it, if he was either born this way or acquired a disability later in life. How would HE handle it, being such a lively and talkative person? I planned on writing a fic of the sort but you do awesome meta, and another person's pov would be really fascinating to me.

Thank very much for asking! This immediately grabbed my brain and yanked me face-first into headcanons and possibility permutations. I’m going to try to focus on something more meta-style since you mention that (and aw <3 thank you! I have lots of fun writing my meta so I’m glad you like it!), but if you write fic on this topic I would love to see it. I am 100% certain you know more about sign language than me (I know very little but this whole thing has rekindled my interest in learning, if you have suggestions for resources!) so please do correct me if I make some erroneous statements or assumptions here. Also, I feel like I should note here that I got a little carried away (this is ~7k folks) and some of the things here are probably ideas you’ve already thought about as general concepts of non-verbal communication. I’ve included them anyway because they helped me process all my other thoughts. As always, I welcome additional input on my meta.

Okay so first off, I did some research, because I love research. (Possibly this should go without saying, and I’m sure you yourself already know this, but just in case, for general context and because this is a public post: I do think it’s important to treat things like this—any form of disability or illness or othering—with respect for the real life people who deal with it every day. Let’s not romanticize these things, right? Or just use it to woobify or infantilize characters or write disability tragedy porn? And let’s do make sure we’re doing our research and consuming media (essays, blog posts, videos, etc) created by those people about their experience? Good? Good.) Some non-comprehensive sources I consulted:

This masterlist of resources (includes deaf, mute and blind character writing resources compiled from real life experiences—trigger warning on the “21 People Reveal” link: trauma, depression, rape mention)

This I Am Mute AMA on reddit

This British Psychological Society Research Digest on adults who experience selective mutism (in their own words)

Wikipedia’s Mutism page (I promise the link is there), which lists various conditions that can lead to someone not being able to speak

I also attempted to research a bit about the history of sign language in China, but most of what I found was either comparison to ASL (here’s a video on family terms) or the fact that there are two different sign languages: a literary sign language that reflects written Chinese, and a natural sign language. Also most of what I found was focused more on the Deaf community. The history of mute people in China turned up even fewer results, unfortunately, so if anyone knows good sources for that, let me know!

Jumping off all of that, things that matter for writing a Wei Wuxian who is mute: is Wei Wuxian the only mute person he knows? Are there other mute or deaf people around who use any kind of sign language? When did he become mute? How? Is it physical or psychological? Full-on cannot speak at all or selective based on environment? And is this more novel-verse, or more drama-based? (This meta is going to reference the drama more than the novel, primarily because we get to see body language and some relationships are more fleshed out, but I believe most points should work for both canons.) Questions to be answered on an individual fic basis, of course, but let’s consider some possibilities.

Character-wise, one of the biggest things here for me is that Wei Wuxian hates being ignored. It’s not exactly that he needs to be the center of attention at every single moment, but he’s a showman. Even if the protagonist of the story was someone else, he’d still be there, attracting attention and calling people out on unfairness and generally being that combination of nuisance and talented genius that we love. And he already lives in a world where he can be silenced and isolated—people drown him out, talk over him and dismiss him on a regular basis in canon, and of course there’s the Lan Clan silencing spell.

Multiple people (especially various Jin family members, but also Madam Yu and a few others) use social class and rumor and perceptions of power to shut him down throughout the story, even though he is entirely capable of speaking and often doesn’t keep quiet when it might be beneficial for him to do so. Being mute is only going to exaggerate that ability for others to disregard him, but he’s still going to be that dramatic, fiercely opinionated guy, even if he can’t communicate verbally. He tries to talk through the silencing spell practically every time it’s put on him as it is (and really, what is the Lan Clan going to do to him if he already can’t speak? That spell now becomes a totally useless punishment for him). He’s still going to disrupt Lan Qiren’s class and volunteer to show off and make noise and draw attention to himself. He might be ignored more easily, and consequently get frustrated more often, but he’s still going to do it, because being dutifully silent or nonreactive for more than a single conversation pretty much means just not being Wei Wuxian. So how does he communicate?

I do think it matters here, when he becomes mute and whether it’s selective or not. If he’s born unable to speak, or develops muteness in early childhood (say, after his parents die but before Jiang Fengmian takes him in), I think he’d develop his methods of communication in different ways than if it were to happen later. In the case of childhood mutism I think he’s more likely to use (or develop) actual sign language, and to depend on other people (such as his siblings) to speak aloud for him in some situations. I mostly base that on 1) the trust-building between him, Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli in those early-life flashbacks 2) how much more often he talks to merchants than anyone else (more on that later) and 3) how much nonverbal communication he uses already (it’s a lot. He’s very expressive). If he becomes mute as a teen or adult, I think he’ll deal with a lot more like he deals with the loss of his golden core: deflection of worry, insistence on independence as much as possible, and lots of inventive solutions (but still lots of body language, of course).

Okay, with those trends in mind, here are some general possibilities (in no particular order) that mix real world tactics and mdzs setting specifics and can be applied to a variety of situations:

1. As mentioned above, he might use expressions, body language, generally understood gestures or actions. Wei Wuxian tends to be pretty physically expressive in canon already, so this is likely to be his first instinct when he reaches for communication tools. Let’s look at another silencing spell gif.

Wei Wuxian is extremely expressive every time this is used on him. He makes faces. He waves his arms. He stomps and grabs at people. Where other people hit with this technique frown and look confused and touch their lips or neck, Wei Wuxian complains. He pouts. He makes a production out of how much he hates it. His moods, in general, tend to involve his entire body. So I take that as pretty strong evidence that gestures, facial expressions and miming are going to play a pretty big role in his communication style. Here is a fun youtube video for CSL of the Tortoise and the Hare story, which I think has bearing on how much he could get away with just using his face and miming. Making faces and grabbing Lan Wangji’s wrist or sleeve isn’t going to change here, and he might in fact get even handsier, if that’s possible. As a cultivator, Wei Wuxian would have access to a level of physical adroitness that most people don’t, which could also tie in to how he uses his body to communicate. In general, these are things that are going to make it difficult for him to hide his identity after his resurrection if he’s mute beforehand, but they help a lot with conveying basic ideas so they’re definitely going to be involved somehow, no matter what else he does. Something of a contrast to stories about Lan Wangji and muteness, perhaps.

2. He might communicate through his siblings/other people. Jin Zixuan gets by with saying extremely little because he almost always has other people around who are more than willing to speak for him. Jiang Cheng, pre-Sunshot Campaign, does some of the same (he’s so surprised to be called on and have to speak for himself during that first victory banquet), and of course we sometimes see this play out between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian in canon already: Wei Wuxian will voice things that Lan Wangji is feeling or agrees with, but is unwilling to actually say. So it’s conceivable that Wei Wuxian could get a lot of communication done by having his siblings or close friends (depending on where in the timeline the story takes place) speak for him, as he communicated with them via some other method (at its most basic just an understanding of his pov and what he would want to say, extending into body language, personal signs or sign language, notes, etc.). The best candidate for this is going to be Jiang Yanli, as we do see her stand up and speak for him in drama canon, when people start questioning whether their being alone together is appropriate. I think Jiang Cheng would do his best, but he’d also be inconsistent about it sometimes in situations where he didn’t think it was important or didn’t agree with Wei Wuxian, because he can be a moody dick when he wants to be and he’s not that great at talking himself. I forsee lots of brotherly shoulder punches and slaps upside the head. So many. More than usual. Jiang Fengmian might do a little, as might other Jiang Clan disciples (they certainly seem to like Wei Wuxian well enough to try).

As you might be able to tell, I think this method of communication is much more likely to be used if he’s mute while growing up. If he’s injured as an adult, or loses the ability to speak after he’s resurrected, he’s going to have to build all this context from scratch and it’s going to be much more difficult for this method to work smoothly. It could still work to a certain extent, but it probably won’t be as fluid. On the other hand, if Wei Wuxian was mute as a child, he’d likely be almost immediately recognizable to anyone who regularly interacted with him before his death, especially in the drama, where he has the same body. Jiang Cheng won’t have a moment of doubt when Zidian fails to banish Wei Wuxian’s invading spirit from Mo Xuanyu’s body, because he’ll have had that particular flick of two fingers or turn of a hand with accompanying scowl, etc., acted out in front of him every day for over a decade, and Wei Wuxian will have a much more difficult time hiding that, because it’s muscle memory as well as a form of communication. Which could be a very interesting plot development!

Another possible plot divergence is that if Jiang Yanli starts speaking for her brother at a younger age that might influence her to speak up more just in general, which could hugely affect the story. If she gets used to speaking for Wei Wuxian and herself (and even Jiang Cheng!) rather than letting Wei Wuxian step in as we often see him do, she might involve herself more actively in Sect politics. Which means that she’d likely be attending cultivation conferences more often. Which means that she could be in an incredibly powerful position when stuff starts going down with Wei Wuxian and the Wens. Jiang Cheng is young and stressed and insecure about his place. He doesn’t know how to say “yes, these people helped us, and they don’t deserve what you’re doing to them.” His instinct is to curl around what’s his and protect it, which is exactly what he was raised to do as the future Sect Leader of Lotus Pier. But Jiang Yanli cares about people because they’re people, in much the same way Wei Wuxian does (see: her treatment of Wen Ning during the wedding dress visit, as one example). If she’s at that conference and used to speaking out? She’s going to make a difference, because she has an excellent relationship with Jin Guangshan’s wife and his heir. Jin Zixuan is actively pursuing her at that point. She’s gentry, from a good family (unlike MianMian). She is right on the cusp of marrying into the Jin clan. If nothing else, she has enough influence that if she speaks out, Jiang Cheng will support her, and possibly others (such as Lan Xichen, sitting there looking uncomfortable but not saying anything as long as Wei Wuxian stands on his own). That could be a fun ripple effect to see played out.

3. He might communicate through music. This would be a fantastic place to use the Chinese literature technique of poetry allusions. Different songs or melodies might be associated with different lyrics, or plays, or poems, and so just a short musical phrase could convey a fairly complex (if sometimes more allegorical or symbolic) meaning. This particular method of communication might be most effective in conjunction with the Lans and Nie Huaisang just because they’d be more likely to make quick connections and respond to them without further explanation necessary, but in the right circumstances it could work for most cultivators, since they seem to pride themselves on their literacy. I’m still just barely dipping my toes into this stuff so I don’t have any concrete examples here, but I think it could be a lot of fun to incorporate more music into Wei Wuxian’s life before Chenqing, since he certainly learned to play the dizi somewhere before that whole coreless-in-a-death-trap adventure, and also I think travels with Lan Wangji and the juniors might be fun with some musical references peppered in. Which I might keep in mind even for fics where Wei Wuxian is not mute.

This next song compares Jin Zixun to all the fools of history and legend and finds him lacking.

4. Talismans! Wei Wuxian, being Wei Wuxian, seems to like to use talismans both to get attention and to convey meaning even when he doesn’t have any particular difficulty speaking in canon (I adore the butterfly talisman, okay, I will never be over it). And using talismans doesn’t necessarily mean conveying ideas in words, even though magical glowy writing can very cool.

[insert image of Wei Wuxian writing on his palm, clapping his hands together and then separating them reveal a glowy orange insult to Jin Zixuan’s ego held between them because he’s blunt like that sometimes]

Again, symbols and poetic allusions could be used. Whole landscapes, steaming bowls of soup, he could run wild with his artistic talents. Also he’d probably be able to figure out a sort of magical white-board situation with writing and erasing and re-writing script easily, though it would consume spiritual power of one type or another so it might be more difficult for him to pull off for a longer conversation, or after he’s lost his golden core (there’s another fun plot hook to play with: figuring out new ways to communicate as well as necromancy during the Sunshot Campaign). We do see him erase a talisman in the drama during the Yi City stuff, so that’s very nearly canon already. Basic writing would also be an option here (as we see Song Lan use) but I think the frustrations of needing ink and a brush or writing on the ground and everything would get to him pretty fast—Wei Wuxian is not a very patient person most of the time, so unless it’s actual letter-writing or a book of pre-set phrases he carries with him (probably a good idea for emergencies anyway) I don’t think that’s going to be his go-to.

Another talisman option is: let’s not forget that Wei Wuxian is a genius inventor! He could do so many things with cultivation. To pull from a real world technology example: Maybe he makes a talisman he can wrap around his throat that will convey the vibrations of his vocal chords (provided he has fully developed ones of course). Maybe he combines talismans and fireworks to get attention and write sparkly messages at the same time. To pull from things already in the canon: Maybe he uses Empathy for really important situations. Maybe he can literally steal other people’s voices momentarily, as he does control of bodies, or, post-Burial Mounds, maybe he can speak through the voices of spirits and fierce corpses. How freaking creepy would those be? One is like the reverse of the Lan Clan silencing spell: you can’t speak, but I can use your voice, potentially out of your own mouth. The other is just going to make traditional cultivators break out in hives: Wei Wuxian showing up to the war and every time he wants to speak he summons a fierce corpse or a ghost to scream his thoughts into annoying people’s faces.

Those last two aren’t going to win him any friends but oh wow do they look fun.

Imagine Wei Wuxian roasting Su She and exposing his whole plan in Su She’s own voice.

One last thing here that just occurred to me: Wei Wuxian has on at least one occasion in the drama used the paperman to talk to someone. He does it with Wen Qing, to ask if there’s any way she can arrange a break for Lan Wangji when he’s walking on a broken leg. Is that a telepathy thing? Or a voice thing? And would his ability to do it be affected by his relationship with spoken words? Food for thought.

5. Context or partner-based signs. These would be signs he makes up or develops in conjunction with friends and family, but which are based on shared experience and reference points rather than a full sign language. Could be pretty much anything as long as they mean something to his audience, but are going to be useful mostly for those cases where he’s having a one-on-one conversation or trying to get someone else to verbalize for him in a larger group. Counting on fingers, waving, summoning, the three-finger swear Wei Wuxian uses on that rooftop during the Sunshot Campaign etc. would be examples of generally socially known gestures so this is mostly just an extension of that. I would like to think that he would have personalized sign nick-names for people, probably related to puns or in-jokes. This is a fun place to play with context and relationship complexity, because different people are going to have different levels of fluency in “Wei Wuxian.” Perhaps that’s part of the wedge that drives itself between him and Jiang Cheng even: after months on end with the Wens, Wei Wuxian has mannerisms and signs Jiang Cheng doesn’t know, which just make him feel even more distant from his brother.

6. He might use an actual established sign language of some kind, probably one usually used in trade contexts (because there are many dialects and languages in Ancient China so trade sign could very easily be a thing) unless you build more of a social network (and more general social acceptance) for mute and deaf people into the world. Which could totally happen! But if you don’t tweak the world-building then sign language as a language beyond trade sign is going to be minimally useful to most individuals who would need it, because they’re mostly going to be communicating with people who don’t use it (as can often happen in the real world, of course). I think a general-use sign language or trade sign + personal signs could be a lot of fun, especially between close family and friends (how much would especially drama!Wen Ning love that added level of connection and communication?)

Look at them. Look at this ridiculousness.

But outside of that it’s probably not going to be something anyone but especially kind souls will actually use with him beyond actual monetary transactions. This is not a canon that’s generally kind to people who are marked as different. Most of the big cultivators probably wouldn’t even learn much trade sign, especially not the Jins and Wens, because they have servants to negotiate prices for them if necessary, but the Jiangs might learn both because they’re closer to their trade-port commoners and for Wei Wuxian’s sake. Anyone who travels alone would want to know some, at least. Lan Wangji might know a little and learn more specifically to communicate with Wei Wuxian? Could go a lot of directions.

7. Clapping, tapping things together, stomping, whistling, and maybe laughter, vocal crying or screaming, humming and whispers. These methods of communication will depend a lot on why a character is mute and whether it’s physically or psychologically-based. Clapping, tapping, stomping and whistling should be generally possible; the rest depend on vocal chord development and certain nerves being functional. Interestingly, this means that Wei Wuxian still has total control over simple fierce corpses and spirits even if his vocal chords don’t work or are damaged. Which is cool. Clapping/tapping/stomping would allow him to engage in morse/chinese telegraph/tapping code styles of communication too, if such a thing exists in Ancient Fantasy China (Why not? They already have chilies and potatoes and fly on swords). A whistle code for night hunting would just be a useful thing in general, for everyone. Limited speech might also be a thing. In some cases of selective mutism people can speak with certain people (a feeling of safety seems to be a big factor, though sometimes I saw reports of people saying they could speak just fine if it was on stage/part of a theatre production but not for day-to-day stuff too), or at low volumes. This might be more taxing than other forms of communication, or not, depending on the specific situation. It might lead to things like Wei Wuxian being able to talk to his family and possibly close friends like Lan Wangji, but not in large groups or to “outsiders,” which might in turn lead to more resentment on some people’s parts and more accusations that he’s just being rude or arrogant, etc.

8. Fan code. Because it should exist, why is Nie Huaisang the only person in this canon with a fan. Should be remedied, obviously.

Think of the things he could be saying if he had anyone to talk to this way!

9. The telepathy spell from fighting the Tortoise of Slaughter. This is a drama-exclusive thing, and I love it! So much! But. Telepathy is a very common workaround for characters who are unable to use verbal language and personally I think it’s often used to just totally erase that non-verbal communication or any of the difficulties actual mute people experience. So. It might be more interesting, and more respectful for real people’s lived experience, to introduce some further obstacles. What are the spell’s limits? Distance? Duration? Can it involve more than two people? Does it consume energy from all parties or only the person who initiates it? Who knows it? Is it a Lan Clan specialty? Is it only for highly ranked disciples? Did Lan Wangji invent it? Do the Lan juniors know this spell? If they do, would they use it? If yes to both those last two questions, that eliminates a lot of barriers for resurrected Wei Wuxian. Both Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi seem like they would willingly (with varying levels of sass of course) take on the task of relaying Wei Wuxian’s thoughts, at least sometimes. But again, it matters when Wei Wuxian becomes mute, because language and how you communicate shapes how you think. What if one of them or Lan Wangji uses the spell, and Wei Wuxian’s thoughts don’t come across as direct words? How does that impact their ability to communicate in this way?

Also, I invite you to picture: Wei Wuxian is back from the dead. He has been reunited with Lan Wangji. He can’t talk, verbally, but he can speak with Lan Wangji telepathically. This is a new development related to his resurrection. Lan Wangji is now faced with a dilemma, because he kind of depends on Wei Wuxian to do all the talking in a number of situations as the plot moves forward. How do they maneuver those situations now? The confrontation of the second Burial Mounds siege? The reveal of Jin Guangyao’s crimes? Also, depending on how the spell works and their communication style before Wei Wuxian died, it’s totally possible that he now just has Wei Wuxian chattering at him inside his head rather constantly, to make up for the fact that he suddenly can’t speak aloud. How does that affect their changing relationship as they go on adventures?

A possible example of this scenario.

Okay, time for some character implications. You know that thing Wei Wuxian does where he has to prove that he is at least as good and usually better than everyone else at whatever he can manage even though he’s an orphaned child of non-gentry parents? Yeah. That’s probably going to get cranked up all the way past 11 to like, 17 or something. A lot. Because if Wei Wuxian can’t verbally speak in a culture where oratory is such an ingrained part of daily life and cultivator culture, a lot of people are going to use that to assume he’s also stupid or unskilled. We see repeated examples of Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng being disregarded or manipulated through their inability to give speeches the way other people do, and the ability to speak well is mentioned as a distinct and admirable ability in reference to both Jin Guangyao and Ouyang Zizhen. It’s something cultivator politics pretty much requires, after a certain point: the ability to speak, clearly and with authority. Not being able to is going to tick Wei Wuxian off to no end. Frequently. And also (I believe) add even more fuel to his “I’m better than you” antics.

He’s still going to be this dramatic asshole, and he’s still going to be better than Jin Zixuan.

Speech doesn’t affect any of those gentlemanly skills he’s learned (provided we assume he still ahs the opportunity to learn them). It doesn’t affect his archery, or his swordsmanship, or his cultivational power. I don’t think it would affect horsemanship, but it might depend on how the horse was trained and what sounds Wei Wuxian is able to make. But either way, with the skills he does have I think it’s possible he would flaunt them even more, especially in front of people he thinks look down on him. He might also get into more physical fights, since he already has a tendency to do that as is when he’s offended enough (most obviously illustrated by his Cloud Recesses confrontation of Jin Zixuan). He might just walk out of more conversations, as we saw him do during the Sunshot Campaign, even before he loses his gold core. He might get even more unconventional in his ideas even more quickly, because he doesn’t fit in as well from the start and never will. The appeal of becoming a rogue cultivator or trying to seek out Baoshan Sanren on his own might be pretty strong. Lots of canon divergence and AU possibilities there.

As far as inter-character relationships go, if he’s mute from childhood I don’t think his relationships with his adopted family would change a whole lot. Madam Yu is going to throw his muteness in his and everyone else’s faces on a regular basis because it’s another handle she can grab onto. Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli might be more protective of him, but I think their personal dynamic with him would remain largely the same. Same with Jiang Fengmian. Jiang Yanli might speak up more often and Jiang Cheng might be forced to develop more patience and eloquence at a younger age, which could certainly ripple out into bigger things over time if you wanted to go that direction. Similarly, Lan Sizhui might have vague memories/ an increased ability to pick up the meaning behind “Mo Xuanyu’s” gestures and signs, which in turn could lead to his own identity being revealed sooner as well. It really depends on how deep you want to go, and how far you want to spin things.

Wei Wuxian’s relationships with the rest of the cultivation world, on the other hand, might be drastically different from a younger age because there’s always going to be that hint there that he’s lacking something, even more than he already gets with his birth status. I could absolutely see it being used in a very similar way to how mentions of Jin Guangyao’s parentage are used. In addition, Wei Wuxian’s going to have a harder time charming his way through situations, because the pacing of his conversations is going to be different. A lot of people are going to avoid him even before he turns to demonic cultivation because they don’t want to deal with learning new ways to communicate, which might contribute to his desire to show off more often and more drastically. (Some people of course are going to hate him even more because of this, and say things that involve phrases like “despite his shortcomings” but they hate him anyway. So how much that increase in irritation affects plot would depend on how far you wanted to take it.) Many relationships (especially more superficial ones) might have to be built a little bit slower, or a little more indirectly. A single first meeting will make less of an immediate positive impact unless he develops some specific strategies. Is he going to be remembered? Absolutely. But he’ll have to work harder to be remembered as “that charming, skilled Wei kid” instead of “that mute guy from Yunmeng Jiang.” It’s definitely a challenge.

This pun-and-flirting-based conversation, for example, would be very difficult to pull off.

With Lan Wangji specifically… I think it could go a lot of directions. I do like to think that one of the things that he finds attractive about Wei Wuxian is that Wei Wuxian makes it obvious he wants to be around, and be friends, but he accommodates Lan Wangji’s moods and actions without the need for very many verbal cues. He pays attention. All the time. He reacts to everything Lan Wangji does, whether Lan Wangji is talking or not, and he wants Lan Wangji’s attention in return. They actually have a lot of non-verbal communication going on already. They click, on a certain level, especially in combat situations, and can convey a lot of communication without very many words. So I don’t think that part would change much. Maybe more whistles and gestures and music, but it already involves a lot of touching. Nor would that aspect of Lan Wangji trying to figure Wei Wuxian out change a lot—the puzzle part might even be intensified, which could be fun to play with and lead them to be closer from an earlier time, especially in the novel setting. What might change is that Lan Wangi might start picking up more of Wei Wuxian’s ways of expressing himself, because another part of what I personally see in their relationship is that Wei Wuxian is often a catalyst for Lan Wangji realizing he can approach a problem from a totally different angle. If Wei Wuxian uses music to communicate as well as in cultivation, Lan Wangji might pick that up, or he might pick up certain gestures (signs can sometimes be more efficient than spoken words, especially if someone is used to them, and I think that would appeal to Lan Wangji’s economy of expression), or ways to use talismans (as we see him use one of Wei Wuxian’s talismans as a distraction in the drama). So yeah, if Wei Wuxian is mute when they first meet I think they would develop some slightly different lines of communication, but overall the shape of their relationship would remain largely the same. (Exploring those slightly different lines could be a lot of fun, even so :D)

A lot of the things I’ve written here are primarily based in the idea that Wei Wuxian is mute in childhood. If Wei Wuxian lost the ability to speak as a teen or adult, that would be pretty different. His frustration levels would be even higher than if he was dealing with it most of his life, especially since, as I noted above, I don’t think he would have as much of a chance to build a working knowledge of signs with very many people, if anyone at all. If his reaction to being trapped at Burial Mounds and becoming first a war hero and then a social pariah are any indication, he’d be dramatic and angry about it, and probably actively use it as a blind to disguise his lack of a golden core as much as possible. I think in any case where he became mute after growing up speaking, his chosen methods of communication would be a lot more direct and voice- or writing-based, whether through use of resentment-fueled voice-borrowing or talismans and glowy writing, or inventions like the vocal chord vibration thing. He’s going to be much more resistant to relying on other people if he can at all avoid it, and much more impatient about round-about methods of communication like music. He’d probably also employ a lot of exaggerated facial expressions and emphatic (and probably often rude) gestures. His adulthood is pretty stressful to begin with, and this is only going to make it moreso.

For character reactions in that situation—I think there would be a lot of concern from his siblings and Lan Wangji, and depending on when it happened there might be a lot of connections drawn between his inability to speak and his adoption of demonic cultivation. (I see four major points where he might become mute as a teen/adult before his death, and they’re all pretty close together: 1) during the Wen indoctrination camp, 2) when he wakes up from his coma after fighting the Tortoise of Slaughter 3) when Lotus Pier is invaded and destroyed, 4) When Wen Chao captures him and throws him into the Burial Mounds. Potential option #5: in a battle during the Sunshot Campaign.) On the one hand, in these situations Wei Wuxian already has established relationships based mostly in respect with a lot of people, so he might meet with more patience (but also more pity) for a while. On the other, people like Jin Guangshan are absolutely not above using something like this to shut him out of politics entirely.

But okay, among people he actually likes: I think Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji would put in the most effort for actually communicating with him and helping him find ways to cope, as we see them do in the drama with the golden core situation. They and Jiang Cheng might possibly also narrow in focus pretty hard on finding a cure, if possible, since that falls in line with their reactions to his giving up the sword (something to be careful about in writing, as the difference between “magical cure” and “recovery through speech therapy” can be pretty important on a sensitivity level).

In a case of selective mutism—I think only Jiang Yanli would react well at first.

I cry over their relationship so much.

At this point Jiang Cheng is well and truly into his “why are you making my life harder” phase so Wei Wuxian being able to speak with him in private but not in public might start as a relief and then quickly become annoying as fuck. It might take Lan Wangji a while to figure out it’s even happening, especially if he’s one of the people Wei Wuxian still speaks aloud with. He might just think for a while that Wei Wuxian is trying to be better about controlling his mouth in public settings. But once he did figure it out, he’d probably adjust pretty quickly because he can relate to it a bit—we see him speak in small groups or one on one way more often than in more public stage situations, even though he is generally fully capable of speaking. I do think there would still be an undercurrent of worry there though, especially since at that point in his life Wei Wuxian is pretty close to spiraling out of control at the drop of a hat.

This sort of thing might be a lot more common.

Post-resurrection, Wei Wuxian himself would probably be really, really confused to suddenly be alive again but unable to speak. I think he’d spend some time going “wtf??” and then shoving his way into situations with wild hand gestures and body language and facial expressions. Think about that first confrontation in Mo Village, where he’s acting “mad”? That sort of exaggeration, and deliberately provocative physical contact maybe. He might play really annoying noises on grass or his poorly-made flute to get people’s attention. Whistling is highly probable. There’d probably also be some related depression, too. All of these things are obviously possibilities for if he developed mutism earlier of course, but I think if it came with the resurrection he’d have a lot more questions about it, and focus a lot more on being able to make noise at first.

I will make everyone else aware of my personal annoyance in any way possible.

He might end up doing more instead of trying to lead the Lan juniors to the correct conclusions, because he’s going to have way fewer communication tools than he would under other circumstances. He’d be less able to immediately insult Jin Ling at their first meeting, and less recognizable to Jiang Cheng. And once he met up with Lan Wangji, I think Lan Wangji would worry a lot about his silence in this case, because it’s so unlike him and they don’t know why it’s happened (unless Mo Xuanyu was already known to be mute). Finding a cure or a way to practice and build up speech again would be pretty high in both their priorities, I think, and Lan Wangji would watch Wei Wuxian a bit more closely, to make sure he stayed safe (because if this has changed, what else has changed?).

That oversight could influence the plot a fair amount. It might mean that they don’t catch Nie Huaisang at the Tomb of Blades. It might mean that Wei Wuxian tries to run away more often, or more determinedly, because he feels like he’s being smothered. It might significantly impact their ability to communicate during the Yi City fights in the fog, unless they’ve developed or adopted a whistle or clapping code by then. Wei Wuxian picks up on A-Qing’s tapping quickly enough that he’d probably come up with something a little more sophisticated, given time. They might spend a lot more time in the evenings and while traveling working on ways to communicate. Writing. Music. Empathy-the-technique. Establishing gestures and tapping codes, designing new talismans, etc. but for a while there Wei Wuxian is going to be extremely dependent on Lan Wangji (and possibly sometimes Lan Sizhui) to interpret and speak for him, which is a major change in their relationship that could be really interesting to explore. Does Lan Wangji start speaking out more often? Or does he employ intimidation or position or the silencing spell to make others wait for Wei Wuxian to communicate in other ways? How does that effect Wei Wuxian’s hidden identity? Does this experience resolve their friendship-to-lovers plot faster, or does it provide just provide even more opportunities for miscommunication?

The possibilities for fic are very nearly endless, I think, but my personal favorite options would be either something with the voice stealing and fierce-corpse-yelling (the consequences would be huge but individual moments could be very satisfying) or a fic focused on Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian working together, building new communication tools and deepening their relationship through shared context, because I am a Wangxian sap at heart <3.

[master-sass-blast]

The Moments in Our Lives Leading Up ‘Til Now.

This fic is probably the biggest fuck you to my barely coherent timeline for this series.

Like, don’t ask me how the timeline actually works. Don’t ask me how long you and Piotr have been together. Don’t ask me how old either of you are. Don’t ask me anything about it, because I don’t know. That’s too much math and calendar work for me lskdjflskjflkjlsdkjf.

Summary: A series of snapshots as you and Piotr go through the journey of planning your wedding.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader.

Rating: T for language, implied sex, and some references to some very angsty fics.

Set after “Planning Pains,” then continues through and goes after the ending for “You Can Always Go Back Home.”

Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie, @super-darkcloudstudent, @girl-obsessed-with-things, @nebulous-leo

The ceremony and reception venue are easy –you both want the wedding to be at Xavier’s, Charles is more than happy to host it, and that takes care of that.

It also settles when the wedding is going to be. The only time the Institute can pull off hosting an event like that is in the summer.

“Man, I don’t know why I was freaking out so badly,” you remark as Piotr pencils in a specific date in an email to Charles. “This is easy.”

Famous.

Last.

Words.

 ***

 Little did you know, there’s a lot of financial work that goes into planning a wedding.

The venue is free –and Charles is an ordained minister who does wedding ceremonies for mutants and other minorities, so that takes care of that fee, too.

Everything else, however…

Well, everything else would be easy if someone weren’t such a stickler for the rules.

“Babe, I’ve got more than enough money in my accounts to give us the wedding we want,” you argue as Piotr tallies up various figures on a piece of paper. “My uncle and Wade have me pretty well set up. There’s no need to do all this… stressing.”

Piotr purses his lips, looking downright annoyed. “I do not want dirty money funding my wedding.”

You do a double take and raise your eyebrows at him. “Excuse me?”

“It is principle.”

“Right. Are you just going to get rid of every gift I’ve ever bought for you on principle, too?”

You can almost see his hackles go up. “It is not same thing.”

“It so is!” you exclaim. “The money isn’t any less ‘dirty’ based on what event it’s funding!”

“So you do not object to concept of ‘murder money’ funding our wedding?”

You shrug. “I mean… if your mom sends any money to help—”

“Do not.” Piotr whirls around in his seat so fast it almost scares you. “My mother had no choice in course of her life!”

“Yeah, well, neither did my uncle!” you retort. “And this is my wedding too, which means I’m paying for at least some of it. So, either way, my ‘dirty,’ ‘infected’ money is going to be all up in our big day. If you didn’t want that, maybe you should’ve thought of that before proposing to me!”

Piotr recoils, almost as though you’d slapped him.

Your mouth hangs open, and for a long moment you wish you could physically suck your words back into your body because, truth or not, there was no need to say that.

Piotr swallows hard, sets his pencil down, and gets up. “I am going for walk. I wish to be alone.”

You purse your lips together and pinch the bridge of your nose as he walks out of your bedroom, closing the door after him. Dammit, Y/N. You and your big mouth.

 ***

 You wake up to someone gently peeling your face off a wooden surface.

You gasp and jerk upright, sending several papers flying in the process. “I’m awake!”

Piotr chuckles and kisses the top of your head. “Easy, myshka. It is just me. What…” He carefully picks up one of the pieces of paper, which is covered in rows of failed equations. “What is all this?”

“I grade essays, not math tests,” you groan as you rub your neck.

He kneels next to your chair, looking over all your hard work with an awed expression on his face. “Did you… How long did you do all this?”

“I dunno,” you mumble as you rub at your face. “A long time. Like I said, I’m not good at math.”

“You tried to figure out how to make wedding work on smaller budget,” he says quietly.

“Yeah.” You sigh heavily. “Look, I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I… I stand by it,” you admit. “But I didn’t say it kindly, and I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

Piotr kisses the back of your hand gently. “Thank you. And, in all honesty, I was not nice either. I am very sorry, moya lyubov’.”

“It’s okay, babe,” you murmur as you lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “Look, we can do this on a smaller budget. It’s doable.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “But?”

You sigh. “Honestly… I don’t want to just not chip in on the wedding. But I can’t control where my money’s coming from. And… I don’t want a small wedding. Like, smaller guest list is fine, but I want a fucking blowout. After everything I went through growing up, I want a wedding with all the frills. I want something to look back on and go ‘fuck you, mom and pops, not only did I get married, but I did it in fucking style!’”

Piotr chuckles, the nods. “Alright. ‘Frilly blowout’ it is.”

You blink at him, stunned. “Wait, really?”

“Da. I am certain.”

“But… the money thing…”

“I thought about what you said while I went on walk,” he explains, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. “And… you are right. I did know about your connections well before I proposed, and none of that changed my intentions or desires. And I cannot –should not—punish you for something you cannot control.”

You lean against his shoulder, nuzzling against his neck. “You’re sure you’re okay with it?”

“I am. I had to think it over, but I am.”

“Cool.” You sling your arms around his neck and press a loud, messy kiss against his cheek. “Let’s do this thing, baby. Let’s have a super pretty wedding.”

He chuckles and turns his head so he can kiss you back. “Sounds like plan, dorogoy.”

 ***

 Things come to a temporary halt when you accidentally fall into the cocaine vat.

“I’ve ruined it,” you lament to Piotr one night while you’re still in the hospital. “We’re supposed to be planning our wedding!”

“Easy, myshka,” Piotr murmurs while kissing your forehead. “Wedding things will still be there when this is done. Your only priority for now is to rest.”

You frown –then giggle happily when he kisses your pouting lips.

It’s hard to stay upset with the world’s literal best fiancé by your side.

 ***

 You wake up to the sound of Piotr gently crooning your name and the smell of chocolate chip pancakes.

He brushes your hair away from your face, trailing little kisses from your cheek to your temple. “Dobroye utro, myshka.”

“You were wise to come with food,” you grumble into your pillowcase. The withdrawals are still hitting you hard, meaning that exhaustion is basically your twenty-four-seven existence right now.

“I thought as much.” He helps you sit up, gets the plate situated in your lap, then sits next to you on the bed. “So, I thought we could talk about catering options—”

You whine. “Baby, I told you, I’m too fucking tired to plan anything—”

“Easy, easy,” Piotr soothes you, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “I took liberty of booking Grant for reception catering. I figured you would not be opposed since you had already had his food?”

You blink rapidly. “Uh… I mean, I’m not, but I wanted to help with the menu…”

“I know –which is why I only booked Grant for the date, not with menu,” Piotr explains. “I let him know you had some health problems, and he said since I reached out early enough I could send him final menu later. Then he sent me list of catering options to choose from. I thought we could make menu few items at a time, so you do not get overwhelmed. Does that sound good?”

And, well, it does.

“Okay,” you agree tiredly. “Just… not right now. I just want to eat breakfast.”

Piotr chuckles and nods. “Fair enough.”

 ***

 “Look,” you say, grinning tiredly as Piotr falls onto his side whilst laughing. “Give me one good reason we can’t have chili bacon cheese fries as a side at our wedding!”

“They are disgusting!” Piotr exclaims.

“Blasphemy. How dare you.”

“They are messy,” he continues, ticking off each point on his fingers. “They would be difficult to make for catered event, and they are not on menu offered by Grant.”

“Dammit,” you whisper as you cross the item in question of your list of menu ideas. “Why do you always have to be right?”

Piotr just chuckles, then takes your hand in his and kisses your palm. “Please tell me that not all your ideas are fast food related.”

“I actually picked items from the catering menu, thank you very much. Although—” You look over the guest list again. “How many people do we have to invite again?”

Piotr frowns quizzically. “It… it is not ‘have to’ thing. We can invite as many or few as we wish. Why?”

“Because I want to have the cake to myself.”

Piotr snorts and shakes his head. “I do not think that is entirely possible, but we will make sure you get plenty of cake, myshka.”

“Okay, but like, how much cake?”

“As much as your heart desires,” he says as he leans over to kiss you.

You smile into the kiss. “Sounds perfect.”

 ***

 The pictures in the magazine are taunting you. And if they aren’t, the captions definitely are.

You chuck the flower order magazine off the bed and roll over to take a nap. I’m too tired to deal with this.

 ***

 The groom’s and groomsmen’s suits go easily enough. There’s only a few places Piotr orders clothes from, and they provide formal suit options, so it’s just a matter of getting measurements from everyone –and finding a women’s suit for Ellie, since she’s standing up as his “best man”—and scheduling a date for a fitting to make sure nothing needs to be altered.

Finding bridesmaid’s dresses –especially since Wade is your “maid of honor”—though, let alone a wedding dress…

“Honestly!” you snap as you shove your laptop away from you, disgusted. “What even are these sizes?”

“Shop in store,” Kitty says as she leans over the back of the couch so she can peer at the screen over your shoulder. “Considering you’re not familiar with industry or international sizing, it’s not worth the hassle to shop online. That, and you’ll have a better idea of how it looks on you.”

You nod slowly as you mull the suggestion over. “That’s… that’s a good idea.”

“Well, duh,” Kitty says as she twirls a lock of hair around her finger. “Oh, and take Neena with you. The part of the fashion industry that makes clothing for women is absolutely sadistic; you’ll need all the luck you can get.”

You exchange a fist bump with the teen. “Absolutely.”

 ***

 You stare at your laptop screen, switching from tab to tab almost mindlessly, rhythmically. Your eyes aren’t even processing what’s on the screen at this point; it’s just a wash of colors and shapes and styles…

You inhale suddenly and close your laptop, quickly setting it away from you.

Flower choices can wait until another day.

 ***

 “I don’t care.”

“Myshka—”

“I literally don’t care!” You flop face first onto your bed, sending invitation samples flying. “I’m totally apathetic! Just pick something you like and I’ll go with it! You’ve got good taste, I trust you!”

Piotr presses his fist against his mouth to hide an endeared smile. “This is your wedding as well, moya lyubov’. You should have say in invitation style.”

You give him an unamused, exhausted look. “Babe. I’m beat. You’re picking the invitations.”

He laughs at that, conceding with a nod as he leans over and kisses you. “As you insist, myshka.”

 ***

 Shopping, admittedly, has never been your strong suit. You feel like you have a decent sense of style, but trying on garment after garment after garment just gets exhausting and makes your eyes cross after a bit.

You blanch as you eye the impressive, sleek storefront. “We’re sure I can’t just get married in some jeans and nice shirt, right?”

“Absolutely not!” Kitty declares.

You’d invited her along –in addition to Neena, Ellie, Yukio, and Alex and Illyana, who’d teleported over from Russia at your invitation—upon realizing the teen had a strong grasp on fashion and style. You’d been certain that her know-how with the industry would come in handy—

But right now, since she’s currently marching you into the dress store, you’re wondering if your choice is going to bite you in the ass or not.

The inside of the store is just as intimidating as the outside, if not more so. The attendants are all dressed and styled impeccably, and the perfectly polished floor gleams under the overhead lights.

You get set up with one of the attendants and go through what you want –something you can move in, something you don’t have to worry about your tits falling out of, something reasonably comfortable—and then Kitty and the attendant go back and forth for at least ten minutes about different cuts and fabrics that would suit you before the attendant takes you back to a dressing room and grabs a few different dresses in your size and price range.

The first one flat out doesn’t fit. You don’t even bother to walk out and show the others, since the attendant can’t even get it around your hips properly.

“I thought this was in my size,” you lament as she puts the dress back in its protective bag.

“Different designers and cuts lead to size fluctuation,” she reassures you as she reaches for the second dress. “I think this one will suit you better.”

The second dress does fit –small victories.

You eye your reflection, taking in the dress and how it sits on you. “It’s alright. What do you think?”

“I think it flatters your shoulders and chest pretty well,” the attendant says. “Let’s show everyone else.”

Kitty, however, naysays it as soon as you walk out of the dressing room. “Nope. Absolutely not. No way.”

You raise an eyebrow at her. “Do I look that bad?”

“You’re not smiling,” Kitty says, as though it’s the most important thing in the world. “Your wedding dress should at least make you smile.”

“I think it fits her fine,” Yukio comments as she looks you over.

“It fits her just fine, but this is her wedding dress,” Kitty fires back. “She should feel like a princess that’s walking on air. She should be glowing from the inside out because she feels completely and utterly confident in it. She should be smiling like she just got a coupon for an entire free cake from the grocery store and it’s being presented to her by a Golden Retriever and Anne Hathaway.” She waves her hand at you, shooing you back towards the dressing room. “That’s not it. Go try on another one.”

And so it goes. You try on dress after dress, all of which are perfectly stylish and fit you well enough, but none of which make you feel like you’re “dazzling,” or “sublime,” or any of the other words Kitty throws out.

“This is her wedding,” Ellie snaps when Kitty turns down yet another gown. “You can’t call all the shots!”

“I’m not,” Kitty argues. “But it’s clear she’s not feeling any of them. She shouldn’t get married in a dress she doesn’t absolutely love!”

“Yeah, but if you keep making her doubt every dress she comes out in, she’s not going to love any of them!”

“I’m not—”

Illyana gently squeezes Kitty’s hand before she can get into an argument with Ellie. “Easy, Katya. You have been… dominating.”

“I’m a Leo,” Kitty says as she tosses her hair. “I’m naturally charismatic.”

Ellie mutters something to Yukio that makes the other girl snort and clap a hand over her mouth.

“How about only a few more,” Alexandra speaks up, quelling the disagreement. “And then we can go for lunch and head home. No sense in going all day.”

“We should be fine,” Neena says as you turn to head back to the dressing room. “I’ve got a good feeling about this next dress.”

The attendant steps out of the dressing room after she unzips you. “I’ll be right back; I’m going to get a different dress. I’ve got something in mind now that I’ve seen which styles you gravitate towards and which you don’t.” She comes back a couple minutes later, dress in hand, and helps you get into it and—

Oh.

The attendant grins when you beam. “There we go. I think this one’s our winner. Let’s go show everyone else.”

Kitty immediately cheers when you walk out. “Yes!” She stands up and claps her hands, completely uncaring –and probably oblivious to—the glances she garners. “That’s it! That’s the one!”

Ellie smiles, nodding grudgingly. “Yeah. That one’s it.”

You grin as you twirl around, soaking in everyone else’s coos of delight and approval. Dress: done.

***

 “We really should aim for a house,” you say as you scan yet another sample lease agreement. “Most of the apartments we want don’t even rent to mutants.”

You and Piotr are set up in the dining room, papers strewn across the table top as you work out your future living arrangements. Piotr’s working on calculating out various financial aspects of the whole ‘find a new place’ prospect, while you’re scanning different lease agreements and mortgage deals for unexpected catches. Neither of you want to live in the mansion full time once you’re married; you want privacy from everyone else, a space you can both totally customize—

But that means dealing with a lot of money and middlemen, which is generally where this whole thing is going to shit.

“We may have problem,” Piotr mumbles has he checks a set of figures on his calculator. “Buying house is not exactly cheap –and we cannot afford to not do things completely above board.”

You nod. “No, I agree. My finances are definitely out since I can’t really account where they’re coming from.”

“Why do you need to account where your finances are coming from?” Nathan asks as he pokes his head into the dining room. He takes a sip from his mug of coffee. “Is there some sort of legal hang up with the marriage?”

You shake your head. “Finding a place to live. It’s all shaping up to be a big fat mess.”

“Then don’t find a place just yet,” Nathan says with a casual shrug. “Look, the two of you are already planning and investing in a wedding. Get that off your plate, spend some time saving and making sure you won’t get dicked over legally, and then get a place when you don’t have a wedding staring you down.”

Piotr quirks his mouth to the side as he looks over at you. “It is not bad idea.”

“Fine by me,” you say as you start stacking up the sea of papers. “I’m happy to have one less thing to do.”

 ***

 Neena’s mouth curves into a smirk. “So… what do you need me for?”

“I’m trying to pick out the flowers for my wedding stuff,” you say, only half-succeeding in not sounding completely and utterly desperate.

“And you’re hoping that my lucky powers will help you make a choice?” she surmises. She chuckles when you shoot her a fully desperate look and nods at the laptop. “Go for it. I want to see if it works.”

***

 Everything comes to a stop when you’re kidnapped –and stays stopped even after you’re rescued.

Piotr merely kisses your forehead whenever you worry over the lack of progress on the wedding planning and tells you that your only priority is getting and feeling better.

Regardless of your marital status or planning progress, you’re home. That’s all that really matters.

 ***

 “Do you have anything planned for your honeymoon yet?” your uncle asks one morning.

You and Piotr both blink simultaneously.

“We had discussed a few options,” Piotr says slowly after exchanging a glance with you. “But we had not made any final decisions or reservations as of yet.”

“If it’s alright with you two, I’d like to cover your honeymoon costs,” your uncle offers, fingers drumming restlessly against his coffee mug. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make the wedding because of everything… and… yeah. I’d like to do that for you two.”

“Okay,” you say after exchanging a long look with Piotr. “Thank you. We really appreciate it.”

The corner of your uncle’s mouth turns up in a sad smile, and he quickly takes a sip of his coffee before it can turn into a frown. “Obviously, you two can always tell me where you want to go and I’ll make it happen, but… I was thinking maybe a trip to Disneyworld?”

You grin –you’ve never been to Disneyworld, and it honestly sounds like fun—but Piotr’s eyes go wider than a set of saucers and he sucks in a breath like a kid seeing all their presents under the tree on Christmas day.

Your uncle chuckles. “I take it Disneyworld is a good idea?”

You nod, smiling, as you watch Piotr grin broadly at the prospect of visiting the famed park. “I’d call it a plan.”

***

 There’s only one upside to the whole kidnapping debacle with your parents: you already have lawyers on retainer when you need to change your name and add Piotr to the restraining order, since he’ll be your spouse and you don’t want anyone from your past getting any closer to him than they would you.

Matt, Foggy, and Karen –as with the restraining order situation—are a dream to work with. They keep everything straightforward and professional (and make sure no uppity license issuers try to deny the two of you any of the paperwork just because you’re mutants).

There is, though, something extra special about seeing your name change from Y/N L/N to Y/N Rasputin. Even though the ceremony still needs to happen, you’re legally bound to each other.

You grin at Piotr as you leave the courthouse. “Want to head back and start the honeymoon early?”

He laughs and grins back. “Why not.”

 ***

 “What are we going to do for rings?” you ask one night, while you’re snuggled up next to Piotr in bed. It’s the middle of fall, which means you’re finally feeling chilled at night if you’re not taking full advantage of your fiancé’s extra warmth.

Not that he’s complaining, mind you.

“I mean, it probably won’t be too hard to find something for me,” you continue, reaching over to pick up one of Piotr’s hands. “But you’ve got some serious mitts, hon. That, and I don’t know if we can get a ring that’ll take you armoring up.”

“I have been thinking about this,” Piotr says, chuckling as you play with his fingers. “I would still like ring of my own, even if I have to get it fixed or replaced every now and then… but I was also thinking of getting tattoo, so I have a ‘ring’ even if I am not wearing one.”

“I mean, you can do that if you want,” you say with a shrug. “It’s on the finger, though, so it’s going to hurt more. And it’ll fade faster.”

“I do not mind pain,” Piotr says as he pulls your closer to him so he can kiss you. “And I would not want something complex, nor would I mind having to touch it up from time to time.”

“Alright.” You kiss his cheek, then giggle and ruffle his hair playfully. “Look at you, getting a tattoo! You’re becoming quite the rebel, mister!”

“You already knew I wanted to get work done.”

You press your finger against his lips briefly before going back to playing with his hair. “Shush. Let me have my moment.”

Piotr chuckles and catches your hand before you can make an absolute mess of his hair. “It would seem you have rubbed off on me, myshka.”

“I would hope so.” You grin, then teasingly rock your hips against his thigh. “I also like to rub on you, if you know what I mean.”

Piotr rolls his eyes, but then he’s kissing you and positioning the two of you so you’re on your back and he’s braced on his arms above you, and—

Yeah, you’re rubbing off –and on—him alright.

 ***

 “I’m making the questions hard. You’ve known me for how long now? I can’t just lob you a bunch of slowballs.”

Piotr snorts and pauses to kiss the top of your head as the two of stroll about the Institute’s sprawling grounds. “Do what you must, myshka.”

“You better get them right,” you tease him further, grinning up at him. “It’s gonna look bad if we’re getting married and you don’t even know me.”

Piotr winks at you. “Worry not, dorogoy. I am confident in my success.”

“Good. Also, just a heads up, I’m pretty sure Mikhail’s gonna try to get at least five hundred dollars out of you for the payment part of it.” You giggle when your fiancé rolls his eyes and groans and squeeze his hand reassuringly. “Relax, babe. Your mom put a stop to it before he got too far with the concept.” When Piotr doesn’t stop grumbling under his breath, you tug on his hand and flash him a dazzling smile. “Hey. We’re gonna be married in two months.”

Piotr grins back, equally as bright. “That we are.”

You roll up onto the tips of your toes as he bends down to kiss you—

It’s just as wonderful as every other time you’ve kissed him.

Life is going to be amazing.