#especially others who have it just as bad as you and are not doing shit to u

[munsonsmixtapes]

I'm Still Your Boy

Ex=boyfriend!Eddie x fem!reader

After your boyfriend cheats on you at your birthday party, your ex Eddie reminds you that he'll always be your shoulder to cry on.

cw: hurt/comfort, mention of cheating

You don’t know what you did to deserve this. Maybe it’s because of something you did in a past life. Some sort of karma, perhaps? Whatever the reason, you don’t think you actually deserve to be cheated on by your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who told you that he wanted to save himself for you and you alone, which seemed to be a fucking lie just to get in your pants considering you caught him with the very girl he told you not to worry about. 

They were fucking and to make it even more sad, they were fucking in your bed at your birthday party. Well, wasn’t that just the cherry on top of the shit sundae? And they were so caught up in each other that they didn’t even hear you slam the door. 

Before anyone could see you cry, you hurry to the bathroom, thankful that you’re upstairs and that no one else was around. What’s supposed to be a fun celebration has turned into something you’ll remember forever for all the wrong reasons. 

As soon as you’re alone, you sit on the toilet and begin to cry. Maybe you feel a bit pathetic but you can’t help it. Sure, it’s not like you actually loved the man, but it still hurts like hell. Especially when Josh told you time and time again that Chelsea would never be a problem. 

And now you find yourself wondering how long they’ve been doing it behind your back. And why you feel so hurt. It’s not like you even liked him that much. And now this is the excuse to break up with him that you’ve been looking for. 

You’re full on sobbing now and it’s not like you’re surprised, you were expecting it to happen with the way they’re always looking at each other, but you’d think your boyfriend would at least have some decency to not cheat on you at your birthday party. But apparently that was too much to ask. 

You grab some toilet paper from the roll next to you and blow your nose, absolutely positive that you look terrible with mascara tears streaming down your cheeks, but you can’t get yourself to look. That would just make you feel even worse. You spent hours on your makeup and now you let some stupid boy ruin it in a matter of minutes. 

Eddie doesn’t even know what he’s doing at this party. He wants to be here, but he’s not even sure why he was invited. The two of you broke up years ago and even though it was mutual and there was no bad blood, you just drifted apart. 

He feels so weird being here in this house. There are so many memories that the two of you have created here, a time capsule of your relationship. He wants to be there to celebrate you, but being there with all of the little moments the two of you shared throughout your relationship is far too painful to relive. He misses you so much more than he’d ever care to admit. 

He wants to be your friend again, but seeing the way your new boyfriend was glaring daggers at him when everyone was singing “Happy Birthday”, he’s not so sure that’s a good idea. He’s only known he guy a couple of hours and he’s already convinced with a few drinks in his system, he’d knock him the fuck out. 

His name is Josh for starters. Fucking Josh. That should be a red flag on its own. He also somehow got you the wrong cake which was clearly mostly for him since he seemed so excited about it. That seemed to be a common theme considering the same went for your gift. He got you a video game for a system that you don’t even have and it was the second one in a series. 

And Eddie swore he wasn’t going to leave the party alive when you opened your gift from him. It was a special edition of your favorite book as a child and if looks could have killed, he would have been dead. You seemed so grateful for the gift, even going as far as hugging Eddie, nothing but happy tears pricking your eyes. 

He didn’t realize just how much he missed holding you until you were in his arms again. You just fit so perfectly. Before he could reminisce too much, you pulled away, moving back to sit in Josh’s lap, but he was nowhere to be found. 

Out of all of your friends who were there, Eddie seemed to be the only one who could tell just how little fun you were having. How was it that you seemed to be invisible at your own birthday party? Why was he the only one who seemed to care? The two of you weren’t even friends anymore. Maybe after tonight, that’ll change.He really wants to reconnect. Maybe he can invite you out for coffee and the two of you can catch up. 

It’s almost midnight. Most of the guests have already left or they’re so drunk that they’ve passed out on the various pieces of furniture around the first level of the house. You’ve disappeared and that’s all Eddie cares about. He wants to find you so he can say goodnight and get the fuck out of there before he does something he’ll regret. 

He heads up the stairs on the hunt for you, but he realizes that he needs to go to the bathroom first. He knows he should anyway before he hits the road. He sees the bathroom door is cracked and heads for it, opening it expecting to see it empty, but he finds you sitting on the toilet sobbing your eyes out. 

“Eddie, hey,” you grin at him, trying your best to look normal even though your eyes are red and your cheeks are tear stained. 

“Hey.” He waves awkwardly in a way that you’ve always found so adorable. “Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here. I’ll give you some privacy. He turns to leave, but you grab hold of his wrist before he can get too far. 

“Will you stay with me?” You ask with a sniff. He would stay with you even if you weren’t crying, but he especially will because you are. 

He shuts the door all the way then sits on his knees in front of you, forcing himself to look at you even though seeing you cry always broke his heart. He doesn’t know why you’re crying but he has a guess. He doesn’t ask even though he really wants to. He wants to wait for you to speak, not wanting to pry, but just keep you company as you go through a hard time. 

He takes the toilet paper from you and wipes away your tears, gently dabbing to preserve what little makeup is left. He knows how important that kind of thing is to you. Well, he’s actually not so sure you feel that way still. He forgets that he doesn’t actually know you anymore. 

“I look terrible, don’t I?” You look up at him, lips trembling and he really doesn't think he can take seeing you cry anymore. It’ll just make his heart break even more than it already has.

“You look beautiful as always.” It’s his go-to response but it always worked like a charm. He wonders if his flirting still has the same effect on you. He used to love seeing the way you’d get all giggly when he would compliment you. 

“But you have to say that, you’re my-” you cut yourself off, remember that Eddie isn’t your boyfriend anymore. Your boyfriend is the reason why you’re crying. “Sorry, habit.” 

“Don’t apologize,” he shakes his head. “You do look beautiful, though. That dress is great, but I wouldn’t expect anything less. You always did have good style, y/n.” 

“Is this all just your clever way of getting into my pants?” The words are dripping with venom and Eddie wonders what he said that made everything shift. He was just paying a compliment, nothing more, nothing less. 

His eyes widen and he stammers, trying his best to save himself quickly as he’s drowning fast. Your eyes widen as well so clearly you’re just as surprised by your sudden outburst. You have no idea where it came from especially since Eddie has never been that kind of guy and he especially wouldn’t be now knowing that you have a boyfriend.

“No,” he finally says as he’s able to find the words. “I was just paying you a compliment and you know that.” 

“I-I’m sorry.” You’re shaking your head, hating how you’ve spoken to him, accusing him  of something that he clearly wasn’t even doing. “I just caught Josh cheating on me and I guess I’m taking it out on you.” 

“He what?” Oh now he’s livid. He’s got to kiss this guy’s ass now that he finally has an excuse. 

“It’s my fault,” you shake your head again. “I wasn’t giving him enough attention-” your words are cut off by Eddie taking your face in his hands, staring you down. 

“It’s not your fault. Stop making excuses for him y/n. That guy is a fucking loser and he doesn’t deserve you. He deserves to end up broke and alone.” You know he’s right but just want to pass the blame onto yourself because then there would actually be a reason for Josh’s cheating other than the fact that he just doesn’t seem to care about you. 

“You always know what to say, don’t you?” He does in your eyes. ever since the two of you started hanging out, he had a knack for telling you exactly what you needed to hear even if it was a little too blunt for your liking. You appreciated that he never failed to tell you the truth no matter how much it may have hurt.

“I try.” It seems like all of your feelings for each other that have been bottled up are pouring out, now almost palpable because of how strong they are.

“I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” Eddie replies, moving his thumbs back and forth across your cheeks just like he used to do. “I’ll be kicking myself for letting you slip through my fingers for the rest of my life.”

“What if we gave it another try? The friendship part?” Your face lights up at his suggestion and you decide that this is the best birthday present you’ve ever received. 

“I’d really like that. Hey, I think Benny’s is still open. Do you want to get something to eat?” 

“I’d love nothing more.” Eddie helps you up from the toilet and leads you out the front door where you head to his van to head to the diner. 

The two of you find yourselves in your favorite booth, eating and laughing like no time has passed. You stay there into the early morning as the sun comes up, finishing off your meal with a milkshake that the two of you share for old time’s sake and right then and there, Eddie realizes that he’s still is very much your boy, still wrapped around your goddamn finger just the way he likes and there’s no other place he’d rather be.

[mrclairdycat]

Jayvik Headcanons! ٩( ᐛ )( ᐖ )۶

(You can use these for your fics, art or whatever, I don't mind! Tell me or tag me if you do though 'cause I'd love to see it/read it.)

Jayce is naturally good with kids. Viktor is awkward with them, but for some reason the kids love him. They often want touch or try his cane or ask curious questions and their parents deem it as disrespectful, but he always assures them they can and gladly lets them. He also loves to say playful lies like "Actually don't tell anybody this but I've acquired the powers to teleport. I just have to act like a normal human being among the public." Or, better yet, he tells them he's actually an alien. HOWEVER... Viktor hates newborns. He hates when he's forced to cradle them in his arms. Too much slobber, shit and vomit. You can't even talk to them and know there's some kind of understanding between you and them. Jayce, on the other hand, could have a baby shart in his arms and still be like "awww!" He also loves to play with them theatrically.

Viktor is a HUGE Doctor Who fan. It's basically all he ever watches. Jayce is more of a Holiday Movies guy or series with Comedy, Romance or both, especially soap operas, but he was once forced to watched Doctor Who and now he's hooked too.

Jayce is the only one who finds Viktor's dry and dark humor, especially directed at himself, funny. He finds it so refreshing since posh people's humor is extremely boring. Plus, he understands that Viktor would prefer making light of his bad situation to cope and it's not his place to tell him what to joke and not joke about.

Although they mostly lock in and work hard all night in the lab, the sleep deprivation makes them find ANYTHING funny. Sometimes they end up in an endless loop of laughing fits because both of them are so sleep deprived they can't properly say words anymore.

Speaking of, they probably share all their deepest secrets on a whim but don't remember anything the next day, as if they were totally drunk or something.

Also, they cover each other up if they find one of them has fallen asleep. Often times, however, Viktor finds himself magically spawning in his bed. He never thought much about it, figuring he was so exhausted he probably doesn't remember going home, when in reality it was Jayce that carried him home to make sure his body wouldn't be in pain in the morning.

When Viktor is mad at Jayce he abuses that disabled card. Sometimes he publically humiliates him by pretending he's a bad person that doesn't help his disabled friend with anything. In reality, if he tried to pick something that fell for him, he would be met with the smack of his cane.

Speaking of, acts of service is Jayce's way of flirting. He's an extrovert, but he's not confident at all. He never says his feelings first, just acts especially nice towards someone with numerous gifts, praise and help. Viktor thought he was just being ableist.

Again, speaking of, Viktor is more of a words of affirmation guy. However, when they got together, they have scheduled days within the week where Viktor HAS to accept help and be spoiled. He knows its Jayce's love language by now, so, even if he finds it condescending, he's happy to let him have those days to let it all out.

Sometimes Jayce presents Viktor a complex equation because he loves seeing him explain how to solve it. He just loves listening to him yap.

Viktor has a secret passion for astronomy. Can name you every star. Jayce has a secret passion for birdwatching. Can name you every bird. He'd also love falconry. Tbh he adores animals in general.

Viktor despises Astrology. Jayce loves it. He likes to piss him off by saying "You're acting like your sign right now."

Jayce loves pop and reggaeton, meanwhile Viktor thinks classical music is superior to anything else. He especially listens to it because it is scientifically proven it helps with focus. He hates when he wakes up in the morning to him cleaning and blasting El Taxi or something.

Viktor also loves theatre musicals. His favorites are Ride the Cyclone, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He also loves plays like Hamlet or live orchestras.

Jayce is very good at cooking thanks to his mom's teachings. Plus he just really enjoys it. Viktor is the type who finds it a chore and eats only because he has to (he doesn't even do that most days). Jayce often brings extra food when he packs lunch so Viktor can have some too :) he also loves to cook for him.

Jayce is naturally good at dancing. Adores Just Dance and group dances (Viktor always wins Just Dance without even moving his legs). Viktor is naturally good at playing instruments. He likes to focus on what his hands can do so he can feel better about his bad leg.

Jayce loves head massages and scritches. He's a sucker for physical touch. Viktor likes to give him that while he's reading notes or a book.

Jayce is a dog person who has no problems with cats. Viktor is a cat person who kinda hates dogs since they drool all over the place and lick his face.

Viktor never cries, but when he does it's GUT wrenching because of all the bottled up emotions. Jayce, on the other hand, cries for absolutely anything, especially movies. He could see a child with their mom on a random stroll and shed tears saying "they're so happy :("

Ximena (Jayce's mom) adores Viktor. He always tells Jayce to invite him over whenever they can so he can spend less time alone and even encourages him to sleep over. She just can't bare the thought of someone's baby struggling on their own and not being taken care of.

Jayce mostly overthinks when he's trying to fall asleep. The silence is always broken by him spiraling saying things like "do you think I'm annoying?" simply for a stranger not responding after he complimented them or something. The thought of someone hating him drives him insane. He wants to be liked by everyone. People pleaser core.

[pistol-grippump]

->

People shit on Dylan and Eric's "cringe" journal entries a lot (so much that I see, at least.) and sure, you can find a way to understand simply why. Their wording, and especially some of the things they were writing about could be seen modernly as "cringe" but I feel like if some people took a second to understand what they meant on a slightly deeper level than people try to, it's really easy to look past the cringe and see their plain and utter disconnection.

I know I talk so much about feeling some sort of connection with Dylan especially and of course, that's because there's more to work with for him. (No surprise, it's easily acknowledged that Eric got swept over almost completely by the people it mattered to as the "bad guy", especially doesn't help that his parents didn't try to salvage anything left of him or his personality after the shooting to my knowledge.)

Something I find especially interesting is when Dylan refers to his "human form", which on the surface, sounds like a teenager being a teenager, but it's obvious (being followed by the multiple other disturbed things in his head and the shooting of course,) that it was more than him trying to be edgy. The way I see it, as said earlier, I see it as a disconnect from himself. Whether he truly believed the literal meaning of the things he said or whether they were just things thrown together the best he could, understanding just quite what he meant from all angles is important I think.

Interpretation in these situations are especially relevant under every circumstance, of course, it's not what they aim for when investigating these kinds of things (since factual information will always be more effective.) but now that the case is over two decades old, I'm not sure it matters anymore, so this is my interpretation:

I haven't read every piece of Dylan's journals that have been released due to not being able to find it (/found it once and never again) or easily forgetting what he was saying due to it being either irrelevant or completely forgettable. This is contrary to my last writing I think where I mentioned that both Eric and Dylan's diary entries are close to home for me to understand who they were "beyond being a profile of violence", but sometimes it feels like they were just saying a whole lot of nothing.

The first couple pages I found to read just expressed his continuous suicidal tendencies, talking about himself in third person, or simply just wanting someone to love and for her to love him back. I personally don't understand how someone can't feel a bit of empathy (giving you read them and don't skim over it.)

His talk about being born human while having "inability to BE human" is something I probably understood the most out of the first few submitted entries. Of course, this isn't a rant about how I think (my interpretation) he feels or me trying to be one of those retarded "headcanons" people, because it seems as if unlike a lot of people, I can't ignore the fact that they were existing people with lives and feelings they didn't know how to process (much like me and others.)

This is just me simply finding closure in some deadbeats journal from almost thirty years ago. This entire case is just insanely depressing I've noticed over my last couple years of overall research (since 2020 or 2021. Whenever SKYND came out with their columbine song. [Which was what got me into this in the first place.]) (Also, on the topic of this music video, I wrote in an entry before that they depicted Dylan doing something I described but I'd like to make an edit correction and say it was definitely Eric.) it's always been a heavy topic for obvious reasons, but deeper than the fact that it was the most notorious school shooting in America, the actual situation itself - apart from April 20th, is really heart heavy for a whole lot of reasons.

However, I feel like now I am saying a whole lot of nothing (stating the obvious.) so I'll get to what I sort of wrote this for.

The way Dylan writes his thoughts out sounds out of body. Not to diagnose anything or whatever but in my own experiences - that are very much similar to things he's written about feeling or thinking - I understand the weight of his feelings on a deeper level than most I think, which makes Dylan a sort of past embodiment, or so I kind of believe.

Even before looking into Columbine, I've always felt somewhat similar. Which is especially hard considering I was roughly at the ages of 8-12 when experiencing all these feelings on my own, even lesser advanced was still a lot to handle. The first time I felt truly suicidal, I was around eight, turning nine. I used to have this fantasy when I was Eleven that I would officially off myself on my thirteenth birthday, which was the age I was always excited to turn most. Obviously it didn't end up happening. I didn't have a plan other than the fact that I'd be dead; I didn't have a way to do so or have anything left behind in hopes of giving my family closure. I didn't want to write any notes because I just thought it would be a waste of my time and theirs to read - or to have lying around (if they kept them. Which would have been a 50/50 chance considering my family likes to run away from their problems and ignore it if they can. On the other end of the spectrum, they might have never shut up about it or let it go. I didn't want to give them something to do that with again.)

So, alas, I decided I would play it by ear until just recently where I decided that next January would be okay. I have plenty of time for prep and to possibly call it off (again.) in the rare and let's be real, almost non existent chance of "finding god" or plain just coming to my senses and realizing that its just me being a retarded teenager. Which I kind of hope it is, but then again, I haven't felt truly fulfilled or happy in almost ten years.

It feels more like survival than living, which is generic but true: I only eat enough to live, I try not to bother anyone unless I have to, I keep to myself in awful confidence that I'm able to deal with everything if I just wait it out or overly pay attention to it, and some other things that are different but will just sound like me repeating myself.

My daily routine just consists of Either staying up all night because I can't escape myself, or sleeping with no intention of getting any rest but instead just passing time. I go to school, do nearly the bare minimum enough to pass (or try.), come home, and spend all the time I can in my room. Which has become some sort of hell, might I add.

It's not even pleasant to be here anymore. It's not quiet to me anymore or any sort of safe place.

My room: the lobby of death.

That's how it feels, anyways. I know I'll die in here, and if it's not in here, it will be in an undisclosed location. (I don't want it to sound misleading, like I'm plotting some sort of revenge on anyone.)

I just want to get away from myself, I just want to finally die and get it over with - again. I feel like I'm already dead. I feel like this is how it'll be until I'm physically dead, which means it can't get any worse but it won't be better. It won't even get comfortable.

I don't even know what I'm saying. I feel like everything I say is just useless - like I'm taking up space for feeling the way I do, or I'm looking for attention. But I'm not, this is just my collection of thoughts and everything I couldn't say outloud or something.

"Human Form" is always a striking thing Dylan says because I understand so desperately what he's saying. Not that I dont think I'm a human or that I'm some extraterrestrial being (But it feels like that sometimes.) but it's just such an out of body way to explain yourself. It seems like he just doesn't want to acknowledge what he was - I wouldn't want to. If I could, I would blame it completely on what made me. But I know I can't, not when I'm actively feeding into it everyday.

Cutting this here because I know I'll just never shut up if I don't. I don't know.

[genderqueerdykes]

Not to bombard you with trauma dumping, but I honestly hate this bullshit man hating stuff when it comes to "feeling safe" around cis women/afab folks/etc. I lived with a roommate for about 3 years that I specifically moved in with bc we were both afab. 2 years into living with each other, they started assaulting me when I'd get high to escape the problems that I was having being abused in other ways by them.

Just because someone is "afab/woman-aligned" or w/e they identify as, doesn't make you suddenly safe. And literally I used to parrot that shit. Again, moved in with them thinking that was the "safe" option, and that has been the assault that has stuck with me the longest and ruined my emotional well-being.

Genuinely, I just wish people would remember that ANYONE is capable of hurting you. Anyone is capable of abusing you, if they have the ability to do so. No single gender, identity, or any other characteristic is "the bad guy". Anyone can just decide that they wanna have control over you and decide to hurt you. This is still a subject that I can't even address in therapy because it really fucked me up.

Anyways I hope my story can help people see reason, bc hating anyone who identifies as a man just because you think they're the only ones capable of hurting you is bullshit.

i'm so sorry you had to go through that. there was no reason for that person to treat you that way. but i wanted to thank you for sharing your story because i quite literally think this is a huge part of the reason why rad fems love to spread this lie.

when rad fems spread the lie that AFAB people, women and people perceived to be cannot hurt and abuse other people, it's because they want to get out of being held accountable for being abusive. this "afab people and women are safer to be around" shit is specifically so that rad fems and people who think like them can take advantage of afab people and women and not have to face any repercussions for it whatsoever.

it's not being done with good intentions. at all. it's not because afab people, women and people perceived to be women are genuinely safer to be around. it's because people who behave this way want to get away with abusing whoever they can, and it just so happens to be easiest to do it to afab people and women thanks to the narrative they've created.

this line of thinking isn't being spread because it's true.

it's being spread because it helps rad fems and people who think like them control people. they're doing it to keep afab people, women and people who are perceived to be women weak and miserable and never fight back against abuse, especially when it comes from other afab people, women, and people perceived to be women. it's not coming from a place of trying to keep anyone safe.

i hope things improve for you soon, i know that's an absolute nightmare to go through. take care of yourself, if you need any help, feel free to return at any point

[raven-cincaide]

The S.. Yuji Pulls

Summary: Life's hard; working at a restaurant sucks, especially a closing shift. So, really, you shouldn’t be all that surprised that Yuji decides to spike things up with a joint. Or what happens after a shift stays between you after a shit.

Requested by: Tia. Sorry it took so long, but I honestly hope it was worth the wait <3  WC: 1.8 Warnings: Themed around joint/smoking, unhealthy working conditions, cursing, banter and bad decisions and friends being friends.

Hope you enjoy ~

"You have got to be fucking kidding me"

"What?" Yuji flushed a tired grin before he brought the newly lit joint to his lips and took a deep, long drag, purposefully taking his time to answer you. 

"Don't ‘what' me, Mister! the last customers are barely out of the door, and you've already lit that shit!”  You made an angry motion between his lips and the second unlit self-rolled joint laid out in plain sight on the newly cleaned table. “What the hell will you do if they see and complain to our boss? We'll get fired!"

Yuji let out a low groan, pulled himself up to his feet from the chair he just sat down on after a gruelling 13-hour shift and came over to you. " So? " he asked in the most 'I don't give a fuck’- attitude you've ever seen him have as he reluctantly started with the closing routines. "If boss fire's us, well, then we’ll just go work at the next shit-joint down the street. Except maybe that one will pay on time.” 

The joke hit a little too close to home, and you inevitably grimaced and turned away from him. Wordlessly and angrily you began helping him while taking your anger out on the furniture with each violent flip-and-slam of the chair onto the tables.

Yuji took another drug before he passed the half-smoked doobie to your lips. "Here. It takes the edge off"

"I don't know Yuji, I haven't-"

"Don't worry about it! You know I wouldn't offer you some harmful shit"

"Normally, " You corrected him with a teasing smile, feeling a bit better despite the shitty predicament you were in. "Right now you’re half a joint high. Who knows the kind of shit you’d suggest purely for your own amusement.” 

"Hey!" Yuji, cried out almost dropping the two chairs he flipped with one hand but caught them last second before they could hit the floor. "If you're gonna be snarky, I won’t share- in fact you can get your own- Heeey! Get back here you!” 

You knew running from Yuji was like running from a car - a pointless waste of time. But you still felt like annoying the crap out of him, especially after you successfully managed to snatch the joint he was so proud off right from out of his lips. After all, He started it by bringing that stuff to work and lighting it the second the last customer exited the door- consequences be damned. 

You managed to dart out of the dining room and took two steps towards the kitchen, where Magumi and Nobara dutifully scrubbed the last of the pots and pans before he caught up with you. 

“Nob–” 

“-shhh you little-” 

“Hey!” Megumi’s voice echoed from behind the swinging kitchen doors, barely muffled by the sound of running dishwater. Both you and Yuji froze his one hand on your waist which kept you still, his other over your mouth to prevent you from disturbing your friends. A look of disgust on his face as your bright pink tongue darted between his fingers- a desperate trick to get his hand off your face. But Yuji was too used to your antics and merely kept his disgust to himself while his hand stayed right where it was, making sure to wipe your slubber all over your face in the process. 

"Yeah?" Yuji called out, his voice as calm as a cucumber. 

“If you’re slacking off again, we’ll leave without you two.” Megumi threatened, his glare feelable even without his physical presence. 

You shuddered then cursed internally, knowing that no Megumi meant no ride home. Which was bad given that the last train would leave in 20, and you still had half a dinner of chairs to pick up, scrub the floors and prepare the last of the restocking for the morning coffee rush, not to mention-

"ts fine, we've got it. Go ahead you two,” Yuji called out, followed shortly by a much quieter “owie” as you stepped on his foot as hard as you could. But he didn't let you go instead, he dragged you back to the dining room, kicking and muffled screaming. 

"What the hell is your issue?" You snapped as he finally let you go, and you spun around to face him “Why the hell did you pull me out of there like that? And what about our ride?" You huffed as he looked at you unusually smiley. 

"And they call me ‘dense’ and ‘clueless’" 

You gaped. 

Yuji replied with a coy grin before he brought the re-stolen roach back to his lips. He re-lit it, using his tongue to guide it whenever he wanted a drag while his arms tossed up the chairs as if the entire debacle hadn’t occurred.  “ Well, we have 18 min” 

You didn’t need to be reminded twice; Howling chairs at a much more human speed, scrubbing the floor and then, with 13 minutes left to go, you began prepping the refills for the morning rush. At 5 min, however, you both dropped down onto the worn yet still-in-one-piece leathery couch, equally dejected. 

“won’t manage”, you muttered, kicking the floor with all the defeat of an exhausted waitress missing the last train home. You rested your arms on the table and dropped your head on them, too tired to start thinking of solutions. 

"Maybe if we run like now..”Yuji tried to sound convincing, but you scoffed. 

“Yeah, and have another deduction on our paychecks, No thank you!"

“Then that’s settled” Your pink-haired nuisance flopped down beside and finally lit the abandoned joint he offered you earlier. This time you didn’t reject it. 

"It's your fault, you know" " you muttered after barely half a drag in as your awful influence of a friend pulled it away from your lips too soon. "If you didn’t tell Megumi to go ahead, we’d be halfway home by now.” 

“Totally my fault”, Yuji rolled his eyes then added in his defence “C’mon though, would it have been worth it? We close and open, so why even bother to go home only to be back here in 4.5 hours or so?” 

You didn’t want to admit it but he had a point, after all, since admitting Yuji was right would be like giving a child a paintball gun and praying they don’t cover everything in all colours of the rainbow. In other words, it was a disastrous accident just waiting to happen. Except in this case, the ‘child’ was a twenty-five-something-year-old man with more similarities than differences with an unruly teenager. “ You know, there’s a thing called ‘sleep’ and ‘showers’ that normal people enjoy and use to unwind?” You muttered with a roll of your eyes. 

“ Overrated, and besides, there are showers here too, you know. And we can use the time we saved on travelling to get more sleep.” 

You reached over and playfully punched his shoulder. “Oj, since when did you become so pragmatic? Megumi is a bad influence on you.” 

Yuji barely sat up straight, but he raised his finger back at you. “Most people would call it ‘responsible’ and ‘growing up’-” 

You laughed in his face: “But in your case, it’s called ‘running out of dumb things to say so now when you say something half decent, you sound like a genius” 

“ Keep it up and you’ll be left high and dry”, Yuji growled without anger. Then, a devious look crossed his face as he reached down to his shoes.

Your eyes widened in horror. "Don't you dare”  you gasped "or..or... You'll be doing the rest of closing chores alone."

"But my feet acre"

"Don't. or I'll tell the owner you ought to pee in a cup” 

"Snitch", Yuji gasped, his long arms reached out to pull you to lay down beside him on the cramped couch "and you'd be right beside me peeing in the same damned Cup"

You rolled your eyes but didn’t protest, getting as comfortable as you could in the cramped space. It didn’t come anywhere near your bed, but it sure beat trying to find an available inn at this house. “ Not in the same cup you dimwit" You muttered, stifling a yawn 

A beat of pleasant silence passed safe for an occasional drag of the remaining joint, flickering the ash onto the floor and lighting another one. The atmosphere was pleasant, a kind of warm feeling that came with being with someone who knew you from half a word, half a moment and half a gesture. The rest of the chores were all but forgotten- a mutual agreement to deal with them bright and early for a hopefully slightly less tired you.  

Everything was going great, almost too great, until "Oh my god, I think something died here.” You gasped out and hurried to sit up, ready to abandon the couch you intended to borrow for the night, at least until your eyes landed under the table on the pair of bare feet awkwardly hanging inches from the floor. “You didn’t” You pressed a hand over your nose. 

"What?" Yuji; asked Innocently, already half asleep. 

"No - No - No You're not gonna get out of it this time. You reeked up the entire dining room- so you’re gonna get up and finish the chores while I  am going to find a place where I can crash that- hey, let go!” 

"No..."

“ Eww Yuji, no, yucks, get your death-feet away from me.”  You heard him laugh and snuggle closer, effectively caging you in with both his arms and then his long legs, purposefully burying his legs against your pants. Clear payback for earlier. Jerk. 

Objectively you knew this was a good time to finish closing up. Stop messing about and ticking your employee clock, and instead, work your butts off for the rest of this damned shift. But as Yuji pulled you in a little closer on the far too small, uncomfortable couch in the silent restaurant that overcharged for water while giving the waitstaff pennies, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, Yuji was right. 

Maybe it didn’t matter whether you got fired or not - this dump needed you more than you needed them- cuz surely even a fast food joint paid better, and in the end, it was a question of needing to stop clinging to the familiar. And even if you did get fired, then you’d just find another desperate hellhole to slave at. 

And if shit completely hit the fan? 

Well, then you’d just file it under the list of all the shit Yuji has pulled over the years and dragged you into it, and the two of you would figure it out together.

… as long as the stench from his feet didn’t kill you by morning, that is.

Author note: I have to admit I struggled a lot with this one. It's kinda hard to portray this intimate friendship and a mix of lightheartedness and despair that comes from a shitty life yet having someone in it.

So I'm really thankful for ☆ tia for the request. It was a challenge I didn't know I needed. Thank you once again so so much. And you, my dear reader, I hope you enjoyed this mix of fluff and just randomness. And if you did, feel free to check out more of my works from the links below!

[ratinacoat]

Random syscourse takes

Saw a couple people do this and I like to be included and talk.

No syscourse stance makes you an inherently bad person. Pro endo, anti endo, endo neutral, whatever other options there are. The only thing that makes you a bad person is how you treat the people who disagree with you.

Adding to that one, the "pro endos aren't punk" "anti endos aren't punk" bs is stupid. Neither of that shit changes if you're punk or not. Punk is about being a good person (which you can be no matter of syscourse stance) and caring about real world issues like politics. If syscourse is your biggest worry, you're probably not punk.

If you're self diagnosed with DID, you shouldn't be speaking over people who are diagnosed sharing their experience. You don't know if you have DID or not, if you're self diagnosed you should always remember there's a possibility you're wrong and speaking as if your experience is 100% DID is a quick way to spread misinfo (and in some cases, stigma).

Being anti endo isn't comparable to being transphobic. It's more comparable to being against a religion. There's no proof of endos outside of claim, the only "proof" I've been sent acknowledges it as a belief or something related to psychosomatic symptoms. There is proof of trans people though that is observable outside of claim. Someone being anti endo just means they don't believe in plurality and we're not all assholes about it.

Endos will always have different experienced than someone with a CDD. Even endos that believe they split due to trauma at some point. Without the brain learning to build dissociative barriers as trauma response/defense mechanism, you can not have alters in the same way as DID. DID is a lot more than alters as well and the things that make it different (amnesia, flashbacks, DPDR, etc etc) are caused by the trauma.

Having DID doesn't mean you know everything about it and not having DID doesn't mean you know nothing about it. A diagnosis is not education. Experience is not a source of information. Someone without a disorder speaking on how it works from an educated perspective isn't automatically wrong just cause someone with the disorder (especially if self diagnosed) speaking from an uneducated perspective or experience "corrects" them.

People who defend the term RAMCOA with their life are weird. You hear something is antisemitic and have it explained to you why it is and you get mad? Really? If you act like the psychiatrists who supported conspiracy theories and abused patients are automatically saints cause one of the groups against RAMCOA as a term are also bad you are an idiot.

Adding to that, the same people who defended self diagnosis with "I'm not trusting abusive therapists about a disorder" defend RAMCOA and trust those abusive therapists. Seriously?

Pro endos with CDDs shouldn't be kicked out of every CDD space. They still have a CDD. They shouldn't be forced to stay with people who don't share the same experience as them just cause they believe some people can be plural. If they're not forcing their belief on everyone, it doesn't matter.

The horses of syscourse should be treated with more respect. Hi Morlocks.

[livi-in-digital-circus]

TW: SERIOUS THREATS, HARASSMENT, PERSONAL VENT CAUSE I'M AT MY FUCKING LIMIT

Not this shit FUCKING again

I've been investigating this case for some time already and I can provide information regarding (probably not) all of the shitty stuff he have done so far. Let's go:

— defending a blog that romanticizes incest r4pe between Jax and Ragatha (no, he isn't a Bunnydoll shipper, he defended that blog just because he likes r4pe)

— sending death and r4pe threats to TADC content creators and even some random people from the fandom

— harassing Gooseworx in her comments section for literally no reason

— fantasizing about CHILD R4PE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU---

— trolling people into thinking that popular TADC fancreators are gr00mers/bad people overall by faking screenshots

— harassing artists who do commissions by asking (especially minors) for things they feel uncomfortable with, such as NSFW shit of him and Pomni or/and Ragatha, and then sending them threats because he wants it for free (dude, do you even know how commissions work???)

— misunderstanding allhailthequeenuwu's words just to have an excuse for harassing her, later he exposed her NSFW art on his FAMILY FRIENDLY community

— disrespecting women a lot, most of his threats are directed to women

— being two-faced when it comes to TADC, one time he praises Gooseworx and some other time he says how shitty TADC and Gooseworx are

— hating on ships for no reason, he used to repost some ship arts, but now he despises all of them (but will defend them if there's r4pe, just like he did with the Jax x Ragatha incest blog)

— overusing words like "r4pe", " k1ll", "d3ath" and some racist and trans slurs

— overusing sentences like "you f*cking b*tch k1ll yourself, I hope your dad r4pes you until you bleed to d3ath", even if someone tries to be nice (and I'm not even joking, that's more-less what he says)

— creating multiple accounts on various platforms just to keep harassing his particular victims

— lying about his age all the time, I saw him changing one of his blogs profile multiple times and every time his bio stated different age from 22 to 25

— and now trying to find someone who will hack sm-baby only because people know he harassed them and started to attack him as well

This guy needs a whole ass reality check. He watched shounen animes with OP sigma alpha gigachad protagonists and thinks he's one of them. Also he's terrible at making multi accounts, he overuses icons from shounen mangas and his usernames often have similar numbers at the end, no wonder that people quickly find his new blogs

And you wanna know the reason why he's doing this? Well, he said he wants to r4pe all the women and children because they're worthless and he's the only one who deserves to live in the universe

The only thing you can do to actually shut him up for real and make him leave you alone is to threaten him with the police or drawing him being the victim of the stuff he sends to the others. Some people actually dared to do this and surprisingly it worked. Good job people 👍

Throughout my entire 18 year old life I've been in various fandoms and experienced lots of shitty things. There was spamming heavy gore on unrelated tags on Instagram, accusing people of being gr00mers just to cancel someone, incest shipping wars and threats, etc. and my most personal which is being gr00med by mentally unstable and years older attention seeker, who didn't realize our relationship could count as p3dophilia until they turned 18, at the same time crying like a baby when I said I don't like all of the BDSM stuff they forced me to like WHEN I WAS FUCKING 12. And what's more funny, it was never about p3dophilia, they were so obsessed to the point they harassed me using my weaknesses when I didn't want to be friends with them anymore. When I didn't give a shit about them, they said they still love me, but don't want to be called a p3do. SO 17 YEAR OLD BEING WITH 13 YEAR OLD IS FINE BUT 18 YEAR OLD WITH 14 YEAR OLD IS MORE WRONG??? B U L L S H I T

Yesterday another thing happened when a random 14 year old, who is sooo obsessed with one of my favorite fictional characters, asked her friend to send me a massive hate just because when I was 14 myself I made an OC who's a child of this character and my OC based on me. Luckily I have amazing friends who defended me and kicked this little shit out of our discord server (+ she also used to make fun of me because my PTSD sounds funny, not to mention she often vented on discord and cried because she's s3lf h4rming herself, so what? I was doing this to myself too and somehow I don't laugh at other people's traumas 🤷‍♀️)

Sorry for venting, but seriously, I'm at my fucking limit

BEWARE OF @captain-kopy765

This post is to document and warn those around this user of their toxicity and how they have tried to work someone, who they believed to be a hacker, to delete the socials of @sm-baby and their side blogs. It also appears that they have an obsession with this user as they wanted all the persons socials removed. They have also harassed users for simply disagree with them. I believe that they should be avoided and pushed out of the TADC community and that all admins should kick them from their community. To not clutter anyones desktop all information will be below the cut.

It all started with this post that Kopy has covertly removed from their blog but has been archived here is you need proof of it being real. [https://www.tumblr.com/hushhushyou/770780622075609088/lol-whats-the-tea-for-this?source=share]

Now is the conversation that was had between the user @hushhushyou and Kopy. The first image is to highlight that username and image are the same and give concrete evidence that these messages are real.

From here the images will be cropped for easier reading.

To clarify the user Hush did not hack into any accounts owned by the user SM. Now that is the main point of the beware. The next part will be talking about the toxicity and entitlement of the user Kopy. Starting with a community that Kopy runs. There was this post made -

A hot take but honestly not a big of a deal. Everyone has opinions.

The issue happens after when a user posted this message - this is a screenshot of from the messages we see later but the user claims that they copy and pasted their original response from their reply to this post.

Click to read for better quality.

If you notice the name of the user who posted is named donquixote-dolflamingo this username is Kopy's old user name as show below with a new screenshot that the user took, when I was double checking.

Unlike Hush this user asks to remain anonymous so the name and profile image will be hidden.

Now onto the messages - click for easer readingK

The user has claimed that this interaction has pushed them away from interacting with the community because they fear the rest of thee fandom is more toxic then Kopy. Now I want to share how the user Kopy interacts with their community highlighting how they interact with the community in a way that can be said as rude and toxic. On their own it can be seen as playful. But added to everything here I feel that it adds another insight to their character. Below is the main communities that they are admin to. Incase anyone wants to avoid them.

[purpleheartskies]

In s6e7, Johnny heard Miguel bully Robby, but Johnny said nothing to Robby to encourage him or make him feel better. Johnny also didn't say anything to Miguel in the moment. Johnny really is coward pos! He's so useless to Robby. Of course, he is... Johnny himself is abusive to Robby. That Mexico trip and apartment fight were toxic af. Johnny psychologically and emotionally abused Robby to find Miguel in s5e1. Johnny handed Robby over to Miguel so he could take his anger out on Robby and beat the shit out of him in s5e5. Johnny said nothing but praise for Miguel's college essay that scapegoated Robby---by name!---, and then dismissed Robby's concerns for his own future in s6e2. Johnny stood here like a useless turd after Miguel said this to Robby in s6e7. In s6e8, on the plane, after Miguel had his hissy fit and called Robby "messed up", Johnny defended Robby for a like a second... Then, to appease Miguel because he started cold-shouldering Johnny, Johnny told Miguel "you're my son too" and basically defended why he was "supporting" Robby (which he clearly isn't) as captain. Johnny also admit in this conversation that the tournament is all Robby has for his future (indicating Johnny's words of encouragement to Robby in s6e2 were really empty). Robby is Johnny's actual son! Johnny should be defending Robby from Miguel always, not defending his support for Robby to Miguel. No kid should suffer because another kid doesn't have a parent. Robby must not suffer, especially at Johnny's hands, because Miguel doesn't have a dad. Billy's bs interview blatantly framing Johnny co-dependency with Miguel as wholesome is so beyond disappointing. "Johnny needed the boy who needed him." Robby is right there! right there! ... being bullied by "the boy who needed [Johnny]". Robby needs Johnny! Robby has always needed Johnny! Also, this must be said: "Tough love" is a euphemism for abuse and bullying. Miguel's behavior with Robby in s6e7 is nothing to praise.

In my last post, I mentioned this moment of Johnny's expression when Chozen said that Robby needs his father:

In that post, I included these quotes:

That scene in s6e7 and Johnny not actually helping Robby with his future (not even in encouraging him or giving 1:1 time to train him for his karate matches) are examples of Johnny not knowing how to nurture Robby's need.

"I want... I wanna be a father to you. I really do. I try to protect you. I try to be there for you. I just suck at it. I really suck at it. But I want to so bad... I love you too Robby." --- Johnny in s4e8

It's moments like these that people ignore or twist into a version that they want, but these are the moments that make up the real story. The one that Kreese alluded to in s1e10, "The real story has only just begun." It's not about the karate and the fights. It's about the characters.

This toxic blended family is a house of cards built on a foundation of the neglect, abuse, bullying, and scapegoating of a child. (Robby is a child wrt to Johnny and Carmen.) No way is this family going to get some "happily ever after" with Robby permanently beaten and bullied into place as an afterthought. Even if the toxicity of Johnny and the Diazs remains, Robby must walk away. He's the underdog in this family. In part 3, Robby must find the courage to let go of wanting Johnny and to walk away, as painful as it will be.

"It can clear up a lot of confusion around childhood trauma, when you realize abandonment is not only when someone walks away. It's also when someone who is meant to protect you, allows others to hurt you."

[radfemfessing]

idk whats so complicated about the biphobia thing. It's not homophobia, duh. Bi people face homophobia of course but that's not unique to bisexuality, also duh. Bisexuality especially in women has A TON of horrible stereotypes attached to it which according to statistics and literally any conversation with bi women cause real, physical harm. And I am not talking about lesbians being careful around dating bi women because they had bad experiences with them, holy shit! Lesbians setting boundaries and talking about how some bi women left them for men, set them up to be raped by their Nigel etc is NOT biphobia. Hell, I am bi and I am careful when I am dating other bi women because of these reasons. Lesbians aren't oppressing bi women, lesbians aren't the ones causing the high abuse statistics for bi women. STRAIGHT (and bi) MEN are causing this. Bisexuality being associated with: always being a cheater, being sexually available to everyone, always being down for a threesome, never being sexually satisfied, being sex addicts, being confused little dumb dumbs, can't choose who to date because they will end up with dick anyways, need to be controlled because they are cheaters etc etc. And these things cause real harm to bi women. Those are things that are associated with women who are attracted to both sexes. This is unique to bi women. A lot of men who push these myths are also not homophobic. Lots of leftist men believe this shit, lots of bi men and gay men as well. A unique form of prejudice and violence against bi women exists, it has consequences, we need to acknowledge and talk about it. You don't need to like or date bi women to acknowledge this. And yea, bi women calling themselves lesbians is homophobic shit. Bi women in relationships with men hold privilege over lesbians. Bi women spewing "sexuality is fluid" shit is also homophobic and extremely harmful. Denying all that is naive. But like.. All of that still doesnt change the fact that bi women face a unique kind of oppression and harm because of their sexuality. You can talk about the problematic shit some bi women are doing and still acknowledge that. If we keep ignoring all the disgusting shit associated with bi women and to which consequences it leads, we are setting more women up to call themselves "anything but bi". Demisexual, pansexual, bullcrap! Honestly, if I was growing up right now I wouldn't want to call myself bi. I don't want to be the confused, sexual available to everyone sex addict who needs to be beaten up by a man so she doesn't cheat. Or the "available SSA person" who is available to get raped by trans people so they leave homosexual people alone. That doesn't sound like something I want to be. And if I had known as a kid that I would end up being harrassed, raped, and abused for being and bi and for setting boundaries as a bi woman, I would have never proudly announced it to other people. This is a complicated, nuanced discussion. But it leads to nowhere on here. You are all smarter than this. I hope. I hate the term "Biphobia" honestly because I have never seen it lead to a constructive discussion. I also think it doesnt address the fact that its bi WOMEN who face this and that bi men often times participate in it. So idk. I dont have a solution, I am just angry and annoyed lmao

🍼

[garessta8]

yoooooooooooooooooooooooo

first, as a fellow appreciator of statistics and obsessions, I can't help but admire your work gathering the base information here. (wait, does "reading every DE fic" means you read mine, too??? @_@ shit now i really wonder what you thought of them) and as someone who read not every, but a lot of DE fics, I feel like i can give my own two cents regarding the analysis of said information.

i personally find it ironic that out of allllll Kim's problems described and addressed in the game, people choose to attach themselves most to the least addressed one. i.e. Kim being gay. he has one moment about being gay, but he's a binoclard seolite all the time, but fic writers don't care about that as much… no no no. but as you said, it's about reliability. for the sake of statistics, I'm a white cis middle class woman with terrible eyesight (-9.5 miopia + astigmatism; thank god for contact lenses, because glasses for this prescriptions are thick like actual bunoculars and inconvenient af). Out of all Kim's struggles the most relatable is the eyesight one, and even there I'm much better off because our world has way better ophtalmology. So it's not really relatable. I've almost never been ridiculed for having bad eyesight (at least that I remember), and it doesn't interfere with my lifestyle (except that I need a supply of contacts).

harry's portrait conventionally handsome lmao honestly, from the way Kim talks about Harry's age or if he shaves his moustache, Harry actually was intended to look… maybe he was conventionally handsome somtimes, but now it's shit. maybe not horrible, but shit. and don't forget, all potraits are not drawn hyperrealistically. the opposite, in fact.

anyway… concluding all that:

I agree with your analysis - it's all very on point.

that sad phenomenon results in a lot of fics that go over the same old tracks, often in a way that's borderline OOCing. it can get boring and/or just embarassing to read, sadly, which means less reading material for me but i dont't think that addressing DE's themes as the core of a given fanfic would've made for a better story to read. because they'd be same old themes that would've also probably written in very similar way and grew boring quickly. I'd rather wish that fanfic writers stepped aside from those old scenarios and explored all the "what if?"s that fanfiction allows people. There's potential for so many wild stuff, but people just write about Le Retour and Kim&Harry's post-martinaise shenanigans. And casefics (I just don't like crime mysteries sue me). And wildly misenterpret the nature of the Pale.

lame.

but… Fanfic Helps People Cope from what I've observed, similar warping of themes and characters are just as present in other fandoms. it's not just DE "problem" (i put it in quotes, because I don't think this is actually a problem) the thing is… first, not everybody is just good enough as a writer and author to explore themes they don't relate to. they might realise that, or not… their lack of ability might prevent them from realising the themes being present second, writing these themes is a hard effort, especially for people who don't relate, or would prefer to avoid them, etc etc. it's not the type of effort many people would do as a hobby (a person needs to have a certain masochistic type of personality… yeah) putting 1st and 2nd with "fanfic helps people cope" results in phenomena you've described. it's not "worrying" imo, it's just the way of nature. rain falls, wind blows, and fanfic writers ignore canon material to insert their own problems into the characters.

some opinions on fanfic trends for Disco Elysium on AO3 for the past 2-ish years; i address racism, ableism, jean and kim tropes, accesorization of harry and the way the game themes appear to have warped.

some of you may know i've been reading every fic published on the disco AO3 tag chronologically since 2019 for a little over a year and jotting down some trends (not a proper statistical study, just some tracking of when certain tropes are introduced and when and how they reproduce because i like observing that kind of thing.) there's been an uptick in trans(masc) Kim and Jean character studies since late 2022-early 2023, among many others, but these ones were like overwhelmingly prolific once they were introduced.

harry, kim and jean are overwhelmingly the characters with most fanworks in the tag. and having read a little over 4k works it turns out that people engage in a very distinct way with them for the most part that tracks with the growth of the trans Kim and Jean character studies as a trend.

the disco elysium fandom's english-language writers are, according to my cursory snooping, overwhelmingly trans, some flavor of gay, white and from north america and western europe. given personal anecdotes, i also suspect they are upper middle class (though not as statistically huge as the previous things) and struggle with mental health. in the past decade or so a lot of fanworks have followed a trend of exploration focused on catharsis and personal relatability.

now, kim and harry appear so much in the text with so much detail that there's plenty of personal details to pull from to write them, where as jean's total presence in the game (rarely achieved in one run but i'm taking into account all his mentions and lines) is smaller so it follows that people need to fill in some gaps and there's more characterization freedom. jean is white, younger than both harry and kim, canonically depressed, non-canonically confirmed by his character player an amphetamine addict but presented as a functional person during the game, and covers a very specific narrative hinge that i understand as relevant: he's a bridge between pre-Martinaise Harry and his Martinaise self.

he's objectively a very comfortable character to play with because he's mostly a blank slate except for his relation to Harry and his vitriolic grief towards him. so logistically i understand why people who struggle with mental health, are white, are anywhere between 17 and 35, are functional and able-bodied and may or may not have a complicated relationship with a close person who struggles with addiction or other health issues might go "YES, GOOD CATHARSIS NARRATIVE FOR ME". but the sheer amount of works that value Relatability over engaging with the characters or the themes has resulted in a very strong ripple. which leads to trans kim.

the game paints a deep and vivid image of kim, both from within harry's own perspectives and the objective things he says out loud. he's a walking contradiction, he's alienated from his body and selfhood, he beat himself into submission to stay alive. he's a walking reminder of his assasinated communist parents, the people who killed them paid his salary, his body (racialized, disabled) is both a hindrance to his assimilation and a tangible proof that he could have belonged somewhere but doesn't, that no matter what he does it will be considered first. so he watches his words, his movements, his appearance. so he partakes in hypermasculinity. he's canonically gay, mixed race, diasporic seolite, and disabled. and somehow, the only one of this that is recurringly explored in most fanworks is his homosexuality, usually in the form of being a guiding figure to harry or as a Fellow Gay Cop to jean, or eyes, or someone else.

now, we have the trans kim trope. my opinion on the trope isn't relevant to the point i'm trying to make, but i will say i think transmasc kim is something i enjoy in theory, i think it's a worthy exploration that works very well with the hauntings of embodiment and perception that exist in kim's canon self. but it's very jarring when all of these tales of gay trans kim refuse to engage with race, or with physical disability. like, after you've read 800 trans kim fics you start noticing how solid that avoidance is, how big the elephant in the room is, and i can't help but think that, coupled with the explorations of Jean, the issue is: the white ablebodied writer is unwilling to engage with race and disability.

my charitable reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't want to write about what they don't know, they don't want to overstep. my neutral reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't consider how sexuality and gender's material realities are tied to race and ablebodiedness in the real world because they are the Default Categories and it didn't occur to them that kim's experience of them might overlap. my least charitable reading of this without directly falling into the assumption of ill intent is that the white ablebodied writer is uncomfortable with the idea of the fact that their experience of gender and sexuality isn't universal and it's not as emotionally cathartic to think about how they might be racist and ableist because they put on horse blinders and they're trying to write things they like, and understanding this is unpleasant and doesn't belong in their feel-good hobbies.

people love to talk about kim's body without acknowledging the way asian masculinity and femininity exist in relation to whiteness when it's harry or jean in the room. people love to talk about kim's body without engaging with the power relations that exist in many disabled people's sexuality.

the tropes' strength lies in the relatability factor (very high) and the willingness of both author and audience to engage with the canon material for the characters they are writing (very low). and so you end up with a lot of jean character studies about his feelings towards harry (when everyone but kim in the game also knows both harries, but jean is prioritized consistently) and a lot of character studies about kim (that ignore most of the lived experiences of him because they're directly tied to his and his parents' race and alienation that are not particularly cathartic for the white author and reader)

one of the big themes of the game, if not the biggest, is failure. specifically it asks the player to think about what to do when you have failed and you know there are no blank slates, and asks you to empathize not only with harry, whose every thought you're privy to, but to everyone you talk to that has the same rich landscape beyond your brief interaction. when relatability is prioritized in fanworks, this question falls apart, the purpose becomes to find ways in which these characters are like you (the author, the reader) so you can afford them the level of humanity needed to feel emotions about them.

harry's tropification follows four large trends: self-loathing, aggressive addict, psychic omniscient prophet, overwhelmingly emotional and adoring puppy. some authors sometimes are capable of depicting both, usually as if they are unrelated and it's a harry-esque contradiction, but it's truly baffling how rare it is to find stories that engage with all of them or with multiple of them as inextricably bound together like canon material does. harry needs to be relatably lovable (heartbroken, self-loathing, fixable by love, fixable by the universe, capable of change that gets exponentially better) or relatably hateable (physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative, unreasonably needy).

most fics in the relatable lovability fall on the kim/harry ship, most fics in the relatable hateability fall on the jean/harry ship. here's where it ties into the big tropes for kim and jean: the fanworks about a game that asks a question about failure and questioning certainty become stories about inevitability.

jean's vitriol in the game comes from the same place as harry's self loathing: a visceral response to decades of failure. they're not objective truths (i'm thinking about the mirror reveal being intended as a way to make the viewer realize harry isn't a reliable narrator at all, but especially about himself: you see a regular guy, conventionally handsome but clearly in pain and growing old and sick. he calls himself horrible shit, however).

playing up jean's part as the Bridge is comfortable because it allows the player to separate Harry's failures from their agency as a player (something that greatly drives the point of the game home, emotionally speaking -- you're not that different from Harry. Harry's not that different from anyone else he meets. the irreversible failures exist for all of us, as do the chances to try again.) if jean is right in resenting harry, and moreover, he's objectively describing harry's behavior, harry's failures become logical and inevitable consequences of his Way of Being. if Harry calls kim a slur, or threatens children, or scares civilians, that's just because that's how Harry is (according to Jean and Harry's own brain), so the possibility that one of your tries might be meaningfully good becomes... less weighty. it's a fluke, and you'll fail again, so don't get your hopes up. it's almost an excuse to believe that there's nothing new under the sun and going back to old habits is inevitable, but the conclusion becomes "so nothing i do really matters" instead of "it's hard and painful to try again when you've failed so many times before. what does this say about the person who tries?". and in that way jean is an interesting character because understanding why he resents harry for being able to try more freely than him without the weight of memory is important to the theme. what has to click to start climbing out of the grave? can anyone do it? will i ever do it? why now, and why not when i tried to pull him out?

and similarly, when we write about kim, we have to confront what makes him who he is and not another generic character to write, and the fact of the matter is that being a cop, being visibly of seolite heritage, having PTSD, having a visual impairment on record that interferes with his cophood, his cophood being the only identity he appears to have had a choice over, how he treats harry because he's a cop vs. other harry parallels who aren't, how he treats harry whether harry respects him or not... they're important. and trans kim could be a way to approach these themes but it's currently existing in a vacuum of authorial catharsis, and the refusal to address the real politics that give emotional weight to disco elysium is becoming a worrying, overwhelming trend. i urge you all to think about these things a little.

[nikethestatue]

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. And just because Elain thinks she is ready, doesn’t mean she is.

Nah this is weird to say. I thought you were all "we respect what Elain says" and then you pull up with this..

Azriel not wanting her exposed to the dread trove is straight up coddling, especially when Elain says she wanted to do it. That is not a good look. He's holding her back for her potential as a made seer. How could they go on spy missions if he doesn't want her in danger?

But when Elain had to claim she was a part of the NC, then we take her word for it? Though none of the others has had to claim to be part of it, it's show, don't tell with them. Even though "the spring court was made for someone like Elain", she smells like "a promise of spring", and "black suck the life out of her, no matter how much she claimed to be a part of this court"??

It comes across as a bit... pick and choose imho🤷

Just saying..

You guys are strange when you think that 'coddling' is some type of an insult. No, caring for people that you love and not putting them in danger is not coddling. It's being cautious and smart.

Azriel has a first hand view to what powers that are unknown and uncontrolled can do to a person--namely Nesta. She is destroyed. She is suffering. She is plagued by horrible visions, which he saw in person. Azriel saw how Elain was after she was Made. She was destroyed. She was suffering. She was plagued by horrible visions, which no one could explain (until him).

Azriel who went to Hyben to rescue her might have felt the connection that she had with the Cauldron. Cauldron's infatuation with her. Two days later, she made that thing purr.

She also clearly states that she needs to 'dust off' her powers. Aka, she doesn't use them and doesn't really know how to utilize them. NONE of them know how many of these powers work. And Azriel's seen again and again and again how rushing into things--which is something Rhys tends to do--and having awful plans or no plans (remember that lil trip to Hybern? THAT was a raging success. Or that trip to Summer? Or ten other things that Rhys half-assed and failed at) -leads to more failures than successes.

Furthermore, was Cassian coddling Nesta when he set her in a tree and forbade her from moving from there? And what happened when she did? She was SAed by the Kelpie. When she was sent to the Prison, she was almost killed, Cassian was almost killed, and when Cassian ordered her to run, did he coddle her?

Azriel is the first person to say: this is a bad idea. He is RATIONAL. And he is a strategist.

When he told Mor--the warrior queen of immense power--that she may NOT sneak into the Queens' Palace, he wasn't coddling her. He was mitigating a potential disaster.

When he advised the IC that Elain shouldn't be exposed to the darkness of the Cauldron, he wasn't coddling her. He was acting as a member of the governing body of his Court and an experienced warrior.

Interesting how you don't bring up how the same Azriel didn't 'coddle' Elain during the war, but offered her Truth Teller and told her to take care of herself.

He didn't attempt to hide her powers from her--he named the and gave them a way to be used and explained.

A woman saying 'I don't like this man' or 'I belong in this place, where I live' is NOT the same as her saying that she can go and essentially diffuse a nuclear weapon or look for nuclear warheads in the middle of Kandahar because she's read the manual once.

Be for real.

And, I, for one would LOVE to see a woman being loved, protected and coddled by a man, for a change.

It's funny how all of the hardcore Nesta stans are raging over Cassian NOT coddling her enough, not caring for her well-being enough, not protecting her, and listening to Rhys all the time, but when it comes to Azriel putting his foot down, suddenly it's him preventing Elain from doing stupid shit for Rhys.

(side note, this is not an anti Rhys post. But the dude isn't a very good strategist)

[gothamite-rambler]

Even villains have standards

Red Robin (sighing wearily): I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with two homophobes at work.

Ra’s Al Ghul and Talia Al Ghul exchanged confused glances before turning their attention back to Red Robin.

Ra's (raising an eyebrow): I said you look sickly, and you responded with that.

Red Robin (tapping his earpiece, looking slightly embarrassed): My comm is off, and I don’t want to bring it up to my family. I haven’t told my partner too much either. Don’t want him to storm in there and beat them up.

Ra's (crossing his arms, intrigued): Why?

Red Robin shrugged, looking out toward the horizon, his expression contemplative.

Red Robin (taking a deep breath): It’s something I’ve grown used to, and usually, I can just ignore them. But when they work at the same place as you, and you’re technically their boss, and they’ve been passively aggressive and disrespectful, it starts to test even the calmest man’s patience.

Ra's (nodding slowly): Oh dear me… I’m relating to this.

Talia (sighing, a hint of concern in her voice): I'm not happy to admit I am too, but Robin, what caused their sudden nasty behavior?

Red Robin (rubbing the back of his neck): They asked who the guy is that drops me off at work, then they asked if he was my boyfriend. I said he was, and they started acting… how they are now.

Ra's: They asked, you answered and they behaved like that. I'm not even surprised.

Red Robin: Exactly. The onion layers started to show. One of them was like, “I’m not into men, so don’t try anything.”

Ra's (eyes widening in disbelief): One of them said that?!

Red Robin nodded, a dry chuckle escaping him as he recalled the encounter.

Red Robin (shaking his head): Then the other one was like, “Who’s the man and who’s the woman?” Stupid shit like that, sorry for cursing.

Talia (frowning, serious): You just told us that you’re dealing with awful bullies at work. No apologies needed. You’re underreacting if anything.

Ra's (explaining for Red Robin, a rare hint of sympathy in his tone): He’s used to it. Ignorance has to be ignored or handled with indifference. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I do feel bad for you, kid.

Red Robin (appreciative, a small smile breaking through): It’s life, right? All you can do is laugh, especially at the fact they think being gay or bi means my standards are non-existent. I’m into both genders; that doesn’t mean I want to have sex with every person on the planet.

Talia shook her head with a sympathetic smile, her eyes softening.

Talia (gentle, supportive): Well… um, if you ever need our aid to handle them, you have my father’s number.

Ra's (with a slight smirk): Yeah, I can ruin someone’s life without killing them, and I can't stand people like that. It’s just another layer of ignorance. And I can’t stand you, so that’s saying a lot.

Red Robin (grinning, a mix of gratitude and humor): That actually means a lot coming from you.

pt 1

pt 2

pt 3

[armymxn]

Dirk thought about Micah's idea of having an apartment. It wasn't a bad idea at all, Dirk thought. "Dude, I say go for it" he urged the other with a toothy grin. Selfishly, it might give him an excuse to get off campus if Micah had a place and invited him over or needed help getting shit set up. When Micah told him if he wanted to have sex with him then all he had to do was ask, Dirk winked, "Well, Fox, you pick the bathroom and I'm game" he teased in a way that was both banter and also lowkey serious. Dirk had a lot pent up in him since his breakup and would never turn down getting his rocks off, especially with a guy like Micah who he found to be one of his most attractive colleagues.

"Damn, that sounds pretty dope. Your pretty boys better be grateful" Dirk teased. He had always opted for something clean and streamlined when he was in training. And even now when Avery had cut his hair short to force Dirk to be more empathetic towards the cadets he tended to keep a simple look. He buckled himself in, "True. I mean, it was kind of endearing watching him give a full effort, I can't lie" Dirk couldn't believe the words out of his mouth. Maybe physically leaving this place was good for him. "He seems smart as shit so I'm sure he could be of use here. He just isn't going to be leading me to another cadet bowl win" Dirk joked.

── .✦ micah picks up on the notion of what he was saying. there was just simply a raise of a brow, no reason to bring shit up. they skated past that already, no more emotional crap for the night. wants to give dirk-- both of them a break from that. “been thinking 'bout gettin' one though, even if I don't stay there. all my shits in a storage unit, no fun there.” but it had only been a passing thought, no real determination by it. he isn't sure how long he's going to be at preston past this program. things can change at the drop of a dime. micah is nudging him back, side-eyeing him, “if you want to have sex with me in the bathroom, hollins, all you have to do is ask.” was he serious? did it matter? just gotta offer and yeah he'd be there for the other, cock out and everything.

“was thinking of doing them like mine, back in the day. you know i did everything in my power to have my hair look somewhat decent. did a little snazzy design that had everyone pissed but for some reason let me keep it. I don't know, things are much different now.” a shrug of his own as he hit the push-button start, buckling his seat-belt. hitting dirks chest lightly with his knuckles to put his own. “hey, we can't all be physically fit. maybe he won't join the military after, or at least the combat side. you'll be fine, might not need to be that much of a hard-ass to your own cadet this year after all huh?”

[darkbluekies]

Hello!! Can I ask some tips how to writee??? I love your writing <3

Oh you shouldn't have asked this because i will write an essay.

This is more for books rather than oneshots, but i feel like you can use this for oneshots too!

I'm not going to be one of those that say "you should read tons of books and plan every scene of your story on post it notes and put them on your wall" because that doesn't work for everyone. Not for me, anyway.

For me, what works is to have a "feeling" before I start. I get a feeling before I get the idea. I often get these feelings from watching movies or such, just the motivation/inspiration feeling. I don't know everything before starting to write. I have an idea of what I want the story to be about, and the rest will fall into place once I start to write.

Your first draft can be shit, it's okay. I have started a thing called Draft 0, that is supposed to just create a template that I can expand in the real draft, just so that I have something to follow. That makes it much, much easier to write a longer story. This draft 0 is 20 000 words for me. Not more, not less. You can choose how many words you'd like, but 20 000 is good for me, especially when i want my real drafts to be around 80 000. Chapter 0 should just have the important parts that get the story moving. Not any filler scenes or such. Just the functionality of the story. The rest, you'll figure out in the later drafts.

As for the actual text and paragraphs, I usually use synonyms websites to get a variety of words, because it isn't really flowy to use the same word over and over again. Switching up the length of the sentences really do work wonders too, alternating between longer and shorter ones. I am also a fan of show don't tell, because it lets the reader understand what the character is feeling rather than telling them directly what a character is feeling.

CHARACTERS

This is the more aestethic part, i guess? the vibes and the feels.

Characters are my favorite thing to create. I often don't plan them when I write, they tell me who they are throughout the story. I only put a few characteristics for them. If we take one of my characters from my favorite book I have, he was just labeled as a "cold boy that only shows his true side with his best friend" in draft 1. Now, in draft 4, he is more "stoic boy that doesn't want anyone to pity him, but feels secure enough with his best friend to show his vulnerable side and doesn't get mad at his best friend when he wants to help him, because he knows that he means well." So you don't have to know your characters from the start. That will solve itself once you write and get to know them.

I know that a few writers jump back and forth in the story when they're writing, leaving scenes blank with the thought that they'll come back and write them later. Personally, I find that harder. Because if you have written something that affects the character later on in the story and then suddenly jump back to a point before that happened, it feels hard to write that now that you have newfound knowledge about the character.

Don't be scared to give your character bad sides and flaws. It makes them more human and believable. I have multiple characters that do things I don't agree with, while still doing good things. It makes them more rounded, in my opinions.

I also love making these for my characters to see how they are, to see their sides come together? if that makes sense? It gives me a feel of what kind of people they are.

PINTEREST

Pinterest is my best friend, I am not joking. I make pinterest board for every single story I make, just so that I can get a feel of the story, how it'd look like, how it'd feel like. I'll show you some of my stories here. I know that there are a lot, i just wanted to show that you can make your storys vibe different, even if you have a lot. Some of these remind me of each other (I call them sibling books) but they are still their own because of the vibes ive given them!

same with spotify. I make playlist with songs that I listen to while writing these stories. That help with getting into that vibe when writing, which is good to keep the same vibes throughout the story! I also give every book a theme song that fits with the book, i don't know why haha it's just fun for me

the most important thing to remember is, how corny it may sound, is to have fun while writing! if it isn't fun, leave that idea and come back to it once you find motivation for it!

[twopoppies]

hi! im a new larrie and ive been reading a lot of your and other accounts masterposts but there are still some things im kinda confused about.

regarding bbg, im really confused on why B and her family would even agree to it in the first place. like when (or if) bbg ends and its revealed F isn't actually L's son, B and her family are going to receive sooo much hate so idk why they would even agree to be portrayed as the "villains" in L's life.

when B and her family were shitting on L and saying he was like his bio dad, was that also part of their plan? I feel like those things come from genuine anger and idk why they would agree to make L look bad.

some stunts still confuse me. like with holivia, she was in a relationship with Jason and the media made it seem like he was desperate to get her back, so was he also willingly participating in this stunt? if he was, I have hard time figuring out why lol. or with Caroline flack, she received a lot of hate bc of their age difference so why would they agree?

these are just some of the main things ive been wondering lol. thanks!

Hi darling. I'm glad to hear you're looking into things and thinking critically. I'll answer your questions, but these are my opinions. None of us know for sure why any of these people did anything.

I think when Briana and her family agreed to this, it was originally just to make some fast money. I really don't think it was meant to even get to the point of having an actual baby being used, and it certainly wasn't meant to last for 10+ years. I've said I think Louis doubling down on being a dad is because of some sort of legal issues that have complicated the matter. I think the Clarks/Briana are caught up in the same problem. I believe that they were initially sold the idea that Briana would be the baby mama and then Louis would say he took a paternity test and oh, it's not his kid. Louis would have his profile raised and Briana/the Clarks would get a bunch of money (the Clarks appear to have filed for bankruptcy the year BBG started, and Briana clearly spent all of her money on plastic surgery).

The Clark family and Briana were loose canons and posted all sorts of ridiculous stuff in the first five years. I don't think anyone was really in control of what they were doing. Certainly not Louis, who was pretending BBG didn't exist, and not Simon/Syco/Sony because they started the whole thing to tank Louis' reputation/punish him/get rid of Larry support, etc. If there was anger there it was more likely to do with wanting more money.

As far as Jason Sudeikis is concerned, it's possible Olivia blindsided him (given the fact that he was still referring to her as his partner so close to the debut of holivia). IMO, anything that was made to look as though he wanted her back, or anything making him look like he'd been cheated on, was dirty PR. Jason was the only one who came out smelling like roses. His show was more popular than ever, he won a bunch of Emmys, and he was on the covers of magazines... all because he was positioned as this "poor guy who is just taking care of kids while his ex cheated on him and is a floozy running around with a younger man." It was a PR war between his team (the same one currently representing Justin Baldoni) and hers (who is known to be equally as aggressive).

Caroline Flack worked for Simon Cowell/X-Factor when she was involved with bearding Harry. I'd imagine it's not very easy to say no to Simon when he's in a position of control over you. Also, there was way less public hate for the age difference at the time. Harry was treated as a sex object who loved older women practically from day one, and barely anyone batted an eye. As to why she continued to pretend she dated Harry, I have no clue – it could have been a contract she was unable to get out of, or maybe she liked the attention it brought her (especially as he became more and more famous). There's just absolutely no way that was a real relationship. Even if you don't think Harry and Louis had a long-term love affair, Haroline was in 2011. Take a look at any video of Harry and Louis from that time – it's so obvious they were besotted with each other.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

"we want more mentally ill/disabled characters with ugly symptoms!"

You guys can't handle lapis lazuli tony stark or hank pym! You guys can barely contain your ableism toward the hulk! You guys hate the good doctor for all the wrong reasons! You made fun of his speech patterns and his meltdowns wtf like I'm sorry the only autistic person you've supported have been the perfect non annoying type- but too many of especially as children are like shawn- they talk weird and don't understand what's so offensive about what they said

You guys keep saying Lapis should just be rewritten into a villain! I don't like how the show handled her but like your really gonna make the girl who shows ugly bad symptoms of ptsd into villain? You guys keep trying to make hank into a villain or rewrite his past- god forbid a character have really sevre ugly symptoms that causes them to make decisions that permanently effect the story but have them still be heroes! God forbid Ironman have npd and be a hero! Let's shame MCU Bruce for his mental illness for being unable to do things because of it! God as soon as a character with a mental illness or developmental disorder or low IQ shows actual symptoms and behaviors (ei: acts like how someone with the disorder in question acts- you know the main part of having a fucking disorder) you get pissy and pile on the shame- yeah jen you do control your anger better than bruce- you can also stand better than Charles fucking Xavier! Yeah your smarter than a guy with a low IQ want a cookie?

I'm never gonna be one of those people who tell others to stop writing disabled villains or that writing a character that deals with internalized ableism (disabled people like any group of people can be total prices of shit, and I'm sorry not everyone is content and accepting of their disabilities and some of us take comfort in characters that struggle with being angry because of their problems) but Jesus Christ when a heroic character with ugly symptoms who makes cruel decisions or has 'bratty' or 'immature' moments can we let them stay heroes? Can we let them have a disorder without piling on the shame that we are inferior because we can't do something everyone else can- because that's literally what a disability is! Can they still be heroes?

Do we have to use intellectual/developmental disability as a shorthand for anti intellectualism and being a gross annoying psycho

Do we have to make every heroic character with aspd or npd into a villain or change their disability to autism because it's 'more sympathetic' as if lack of empathy isn't a goddamned symptom of many disabilities like PTSD and autism- You can headcanon tony as having autism- that's cool by me but it's clear some of y'all do it to make him a 'woobie'- which is infantalizing btw but also it's because some of y'all are ableist toward people with npd

I hate that the only acceptable 'ugly symptoms' are things like forgetting to shower or brush your teeth every once in a while or being a bit irritable and not stuff like burning bridges or having explosive outburts

Also it's not a mental illness unless it effects your behavior?

Im not saying that we should just accept and allow mentally ill/intellectually disabled people/characters to get away with bad behaviors unpunished but can they stay heroes? Can they still be respectable?

"we want more characters with ugly symptoms"

Yet

You people get offended by low functioning autistic people existing! You get mad at them for being incontinent or nonverbal/making strange noises or having scary anger issues or IQs low enough that they will never be independent you get mad at them for not showing the 'appropriate' reactions to things they may or may not fully understand- you hate people with sensory issues -

You don't want mentally ill/disabled characters- you want characters with the labels of mental disabilities without any of the ugly strange or off putting behaviors mental/intellectual deficiencies/issues cause- you want a romantic tragedy!

You shame people with Alzheimer's for FORGETTING stuff and LOSING SKILLS 'yeah yeah you are superior to your uncle because you can remember stuff but can you remember it's a fucking disease! you people are cruel

Yes you are technically superior to disabled people because you are capable of things we aren't and you have better character and you can control yourself but guess what? Those people you hate for being incapable of that shit have disabilities it's not our faults! It's the fucking definition of a disability! Like yeah it is a skill issue and we're just 'worse' than nondisabled with us lacking self control and having lower IQs and bad mental processing- yeah it is because we're lacking in some capacity that's like the definition disability you can't say you support disabled people and then turn around and say shit about how your better than these people because you can talk or take care of yourself

Hank Pym and Lapis Lazuli should get called out for acting like assholes and pieces of shit but I am firmly against turning one of few heroic characters who actively struggle with psychosis and delusions into another 'psycho' villain and I'm firmly against saying Lapis is just as bad as Jasper and using symptoms of her PTSD as signs she should be rewritten into a villain- I want them to be held accountable not turned into straight up evil guys or dear god washing out their problematic qualities until they're palatable/relatable to a neurotypical audience to make them good guys when they are already good guys!

Can people who do bad things because of their disabilities still be heroes? Can they be allowed to get better or do they have to accept that having ugly symptoms means being the bad guy? Fucking hell this is why I side eye anyone who acts like mental illness/developmental/cognitive or mental etc disabilities are more destigmatized than physical disabilities (trust me they aren't)

Tldr let characters with ugly symptoms be heroes let your characters with mental disorders act like they have a disorder and let said characters be heroes inspite of it!