#especially love it as he's in the benny get up but is doing something beautifully wholesome

[youokaybucky]

Well we all know how talented austin is in general, so today I'm going to share the video of him playing the piano on the bikeriders set cause it's super wholesome 🥰🎶

@dailydoseofaustinbutler

[denimbex1986]

“...I thought it was gonna be a disaster, especially putting me and Sebastian together and letting us go (laughs).”

“...all that was communicated at the time was, look, we love these two characters, um, Sam and Bucky, and we love them together. And we wanna, we wanna make sure that we, we get the time to focus on them, um, and, you know, this is again, following the, the footsteps of Infinity War and Endgame where I think, you know, our characters have been established to some extents, and again, mine way more so than, than Anthony’s character right, but then in the last few movies I, I’ve felt like - you know, at least what was communicated to me was that they hadn’t got a chance really explore them as much as they would have wanted to...they wanted us together and to further kind of, you know, expand on our, on our chemistry, you know, um and, and that was gonna be exciting and super fun to me. And, and the idea of just six hours obviously with, with, with these characters, um, was also really exciting, because it felt like we were gonna get to kind of get, you know, much deeper into who they were, and what their backgrounds are and where they come from.”

“...I thought that Sharon had sort of been put to bed, so it was really interesting to get the phone-call that they wanted to bring her back...for me that was very exciting...for Sharon it was just so much fun to see her in a different light...she’s really gone to the dark side, but I enjoyed it so much...”

“...entering the MCU Universe was, um, quite wild...I had no idea who Isaiah was...”

“...you just have to trust the people that you’re working with, and when you’re working with Anthony and Sebastian, and - I didn’t get to work with Emily but - uh, and Daniel, you know, it’s it’s easy - it’s like you do all kinds of different things and you’re having fun...”

“...we were always looking for the, the temperature of it, you know, in terms of how sarcastic is he, you know, uh, there were - there were, there were takes that we did that were very funny you know; there was a version of that scene that was actually more comedic, but you know, what I - what I loved ultimately is that they decided to go with, with something that was more grounded and realistic, and - and, and yeah. it was, it was nice to have a scene like that to start of with because at least it sets up for us the journey um, of, of where he has to go, you know, where he’s at sort of at the end of, of - of Endgame, you know, um, is, is very much in, in a sense of, you know, kind of a lack of identity and, and, and fortunately he has the capability to sort of reinvent himself and re-educate himself and really his arc in this show, from my perspective, was always a sort of a re-education and, and a, and a re kind of calibrating of, okay, what, who am I and, and - what am I - what do I stand for, and, and what can I contribute, how can I contribute, you know? Um, I think that in a way for, you know, he represents, you know it’s the PTSD of war, and, and again, of, of, of a soldier who sort of like enlisted a long time ago and then has kind of never really had his own choices, you know, to, to sort of make his own choices and now he finally does and, and what he does and what he decides to do, uh, is what I think is most impactful...”

“...my life mirrors the idea of Sam Wilson as a character...I’m a dude that went to a meeting and I left as Captain America...it’s a rewarding feeling, not only, you know the idea being Captain America, but to be a part of this institution that’s known as Marvel because, you know, it offers us the opportunities to do really interesting, fun, different types of roles, while at the same time, building our fan-base and doing it in a classy way...”

“...in the comic books, Sharon is such a badass and we never really did get to explore that side of her...it was great to see that side of Sharon, I really enjoyed it...I was so happy to see Sharon in this new light...”

“...I think his mind is completely changed by what he sees...he’s definitely changed...all he’s trying to do now is just live...”

“...I’d look at Sebastian and - because, you know, you know there was a moment of connection between them that, um, that needed to happen...he understands more of who he is now, but has to respect - listen respectfully...”

“...when I first read what he actually wrote, I was really moved, I was, I was taken aback because I didn’t - I had never - no-one had ever put my feelings, my complexity and confusion about the state of, uh, African-American in this country into words so eloquently and beautifully...Steve Rogers is a super-soldier, he’s a muscle Captain America...whereas Sam Wilson is a counsellor...they’re two very different characters...the idea of where we are as a country and what that monologue meant was really huge for me because I have sons, and I know when I have a party at the house for my boys, the back yard literally looks like a racial skittle-box...at some point in time, your reality should reflect everything around you, and I want my kinds to have a reality where they’re not pigeon holed into one idea of what they think their race, their culture, their masculinity is and I think, you know, with this series what Malcolm was able to put in that monologue so beautifully is we’re all Americans, we’re all humans...”

“...Bucky had a second shot and Wakanda gave him that...he knows where his loyalty and relationships lie, however he’s put in a situation in the show where he’s having to test boundaries and relationships as a result, and, you know, he’s also driven by slight triggers and personal motives desires that are, you know, unrealized desires he may have towards setting the score with Zemo, you know, you know, and, and, and you know, he’s kind of like torn and, and figuring out his boundaries - and that’s a moment where it’s like ‘Okay you’re right at the edge’. You know what I mean? And it’s like don’t, don’t forget like -  don’t forget where you’re coming from now, you know, and, and I think it’s, it’s the, the learning of that. But then also, you know, in the comic book, in the comic books, you know, Bucky has, like he learns how to detach his arm and use it and throw it and all this stuff, so it’s like there was another piece of it also like ‘okay, now we can do this’, so I think - but I it’s just a humbling moment for him, you know - it’s a - he’s put in his place...”

“...we were joking around on set and we came up with the line, you know, ‘Spend a little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther.’ That’s my favourite line. Like, nobody caught it but it makes me so happy every time.”

“...it was just me and Sebastian like running down tunnels, and every time we turned - we, we turned around it was like a - it felt like a Benny Hill sketch; where it was dudes just running back and forth...as far as a day of me giggling, that was probably one of my better giggles.”

“...there was an explosion and so it’s just us falling, over, and over, and over again...you just think, ’what - what is this that we do for a living?’...”

“...there was that scene in Mad - Madripoor where he has to drink the - the snake thing; I have to tell you, I mean it was like, it was so hard not to laugh because we did it so many times and he was like; ‘Kari, why are you having me do this again?’ Every time, it was like another double reaction - it was so funny...”

[hawkland]

My (mostly) Destiel Recs, Round-up #6

Well, between working like crazy on my DCBB fic and GISH and injuring my neck last month I haven’t kept up with my rec posts, so this one is going to be LONG and have a LOT and I’m going to try to break it up into sections, from oldies but goodies (some things I found on very old rec lists) to smutty delights to just tasty little bits of fluff, hopefully there’s something or everyone here. Most of these are not super-long, largely in the 10-25k range, though there are a few beyond that. With all the stuff I’ve had going on I haven’t wanted to lose sleep diving into 100k epics (especially when I’m writing my own right now, lol.)

“Oldies” but Goodies:  Here are two great fics written some time way back when but that still definitely slap.

Theodicy by manic_intent (11k) - Probably the most brilliant Godstiel fic I’ve read to date. One of Cas’s first acts as the new god is to make a new archangel. Dean isn’t exactly on board with having his soul re-sculpted into wings he hates on sight (especially as they seem magnetically drawn to Cas), but he isn’t exactly given a choice. He, Sam and Bobby struggle with how to handle their former friend suddenly becoming a vindictive deity - trying to make plans to kill him if they must, which is pretty hard when it seems like Cas is always one step ahead of him. Can Dean hold on to enough of his humanity to provide a conscience to Cas and try to steer him toward good acts instead of destruction? This is one that I can’t say has a perfectly happy ending, but it’s a hopeful and imperfect one that’s just right for how the story plays out. 

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow (10k) - Season 5 AU where Dean averts the apocalypse through a spell that “powers up” all the angels and he sees Cas’s true form - before being rendered blind. Dean tries to adjust to his blindness, Cas tries to deal with his guilt, and it’s just a lovely little read with an ending that’s... *chef’s kiss*

Lots more recs below the cut:

More great reads from some of my favorite authors I’ve recced before:

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (21k) - This may be my new favorite DeanRH fic...at least for the moment. The year is 2152, Sam and Dean are long gone to Heaven, while Cas - stuck somewhere between mortal and angel - remains on Earth keeping vigil, keeping up the hunt, assuming he’ll never see either Winchester ever again. But when he starts hearing things, and imagining Dean visiting him as an angel himself, he starts losing grip on what is and isn’t real, and whether he can trust anything he sees or believes to be the truth. This is one hell of a psychological rollercoaster that kept me guessing right along with Cas until the very end. It also has some super-creepy horror elements, a novel “monster of the week”, and the hot-as-sin smut scenes I always expect from this author.

X Marks the Scot by DeanRH (15.9k) A fun little romp through history in one of this author’s great not-quite-au fics. Crowley sends Dean and Sam back in history to the Scottish Highlands to stop a monster, and while there they meet a blue-eyed clan chief who makes Dean weak in the knees. There’s something familiar about him, too. a very clever au that ties back to canon for an unexpected fix-it. Also, Cas in a kilt. Enough said.

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon by DeanRH (12k) - Sweet and slightly angsty AU. What if Dean was a gardener in ancient Babylon when a strange dignitary came to warn that the tower under construction was to be destroyed by angels? Lush, romantic and sexy with some wonderful tie-ins to canon characterizations (of Dean, Sam, John and of course Cas).

sufficient for thee by angelfishofthelord (21k) - This is a beautiful Cas angst-fest and character study that reimagines how angel grace works, particularly in regards to healing others. It covers the whole of Cas’s arc from Season 4 through a post-series fix-it, is absolutely stunning and features some great world-building in regards to the angels. (One important TW: those with cutting/self-harm issues may wish to skip or at least proceed with caution). I love that I can always count on angelfishofthelord when I need a good dose of Cas!whump and pain.

And laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself (13k) - another great Dadstiel fic from this author featuring one of my favorite angsty subjects! I don’t know how I missed reading this one before. An AU where Cas is raising (baby)Jack on his own until the angels find the two of them and prepare to seal Jack away in the Ma’lak box. Cas begs them to let him go with Jack, so at least Jack won’t be alone for eternity. Meanwhile Dean is frantically trying to find what happened to Cas, and he gets some unexpected help from Crowley.  It’s sad and sweet and all the characterizations are great. A+ Crowley use here, too.

what stays (and what fades away) by dothraki_shieldmaiden (64k) - a fabulous read with some great art, too, that started me reading a bunch of fic from this author. Cas goes missing, and when he’s found he seems deep under a spell. When they finally manage to awaken him, he doesn’t remember anything of this life with Dean, Sam and Cas in the bunker. The last thing he knew he was a nurse living with his wonderful husband, Dean, and their two adopted children, Jack and Claire. What I loved about this one was the clever twist as to who was behind Cas’s curse and also how well-developed his AU world/existence was. I’m not generally keen on mundane aus or the one-dimensional way a lot of djinn dream fics tend to go for them, but this one managed to capture a believable version of Dean and Cas living a “normal” life without monsters without making it sugary/too-sweet. 

before knowing remembers by dothraki_shieldmaiden (14k) Post 15x04, a wonderful fic that plays with some meta topics in a clever way. Dean and Sam are happy - they have free will and they’ve won against Chuck, even if they suffered some big losses along the way (including Jack). But Dean can’t help but think he’s forgetting something...or rather, someone. Yet every time he thinks he remembers, the name and face of that someone slips from his mind. 

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden (9k) Post-15x03 where Cas ends up going back to the Gas ‘n Sip and working with Nora after leaving the bunker. A bitter sweet divorce-arc AU and what I love the most is how it ends - not perfect, not tragic, just very real and believable. 

15x18 and Post-canon fix-it fics:

Orbital Velocity Around a Celestial Body by LeverDrift (26k) - An angsty but lovely fix-it fic, one where it gets worse for a while before it gets better. Dean pulls Cas from the Empty, where he’d been living in a fantasy world with a dream!Dean who was giving him everything real!Dean is certain he can’t. Dean has to struggle with wondering if Cas would have been better off with dream!Dean instead of him. This is one that will break your heart before putting it back together again as Dean struggles with his self-worth issues.

so good at crashing in by Wintertree (36k) - Another post-finale fix-it where Cas is back, the world is saved, and things are still...not as easy as it should be for either Dean nor Cas. Monsters are gone, there’s no more hunting to be done, and Cas wants to move out of the bunker somewhere closer to Claire, to move on with a proper human life. Dean thinks he can move there with Cas and stay as “best friends”, even to the extent that Cas encourages him to go out and have sex with others/women. (And wants to hear about it after the fact!) But can Dean figure out what he really wants, and what Cas wants as well? A refreshingly unique take on what a post-series life could have looked like for them.

Delicious smut:

Empty by squirrelofcelestialintent (43k) - Every day this fandom makes me rethink my previous squicks and DNWs in fanfic. Here I find myself enjoying quite a bit more dom/sub elements than I normally ever would! I think because I was absolutely drawn in by the breathtaking first chapter, capturing beautifully the emotions of Cas returning from the Empty in Season 13 if he and Dean had confessed their feelings right then and there. But Dean’s self-worth is all fucked up, he feels there’s no way he can be good enough for Cas, especially when his sexual desires run a little bit...let’s just say outside the vanilla and he’s struggling with shame over doing sex work when he was younger. This was HOT and POOR SAM really gets stuck in the middle of, well, hearing more about his brother’s sex life than he ever needed to.

He's My Mate by Hatsonhamburgers (22k) - This fic manages the delightful combination of humor and extreme hotness perfectly. Dean and Cas catch each other in some questionable masturbation situations. This leads Cas to decide he needs to buy Dean some proper sex toys. He’s just helping his best friend out, right? Sure. As I said, hysterical AND hot as hell. 

Generals by nanoochka (9k) - Cas/Dean, Cas/Balthazar/Dean, implied past-Cas/Balthazar. An old LJ fic I found on an ancient rec list that is just scorching hot and a brilliant character study of Cas and Dean. Balthazar decides to invite himself in when he catches Dean and Cas engaging in some frisky business, and it turns into a bit of a power-play between the two soldiers of Heaven. Cas gets DP’ed and it’s all...well. It’s fucking good, read it.

The One With The Preening by HolyFuckingHell (5.5k) Can I do a rec post without including some wing!kink/wing!grooming in it? No, I can’t. (I also really enjoyed some of the other fics in this author’s series including The One With Dean's Horny Movies).

A Single Point of Light by Destina (2.4k) - This is a gorgeous Cas/Dean/Benny Purgatory short! A delicious balance of the two each caring for and caring about Dean in their own, protective ways, definitely a delight for any fans of this threesome.

Short and sweet, fluff to angst:

Snugglebird by almaasi (5.3k) - So, so soft and sweet and snuggly, just like the title. Dean’s things are disappearing from the bunker...and so, suddenly, has Cas. What’s going on? I do love my nesting!Cas fics, so...yeah. If you need a smile this is a good one to read :)

And Cleanse Me From My Sin by thisisapaige (1.6k) - another one for my beloveds who also enjoy wing grooming and sweet Dean-taking-care-of-Cas fluff.

Needle and Thread by Misachan (4k) - Season 5 wing!fic hurt/comfort. Cas’s wings are badly injured, Dean doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but he’s stitched up Sam and himself enough times. He can do this. If you love caretaker!Dean and vulnerable!Cas don’t overlook this little gem.

Deceptive Preludes by sp8ce (2.7k) - One of those stories that delves into some of the difficulties Cas might have after coming back from the Empty a second time, especially in regards to accepting what’s real or not, understanding Dean, and how both of their communication issues can add to their struggles. Painful but hopeful for the future, felt very believable as I read it.

[hopeamarsu]

Close Shave #1 - Frankie Morales

Frankie Morales x reader 

Word count: just shy of 2k

Warnings: Straight razor shaving. I guess it could technically be counted as knifeplay, so just to be on the safe side I’ve marked it down. Some James Bond quotes are lifted from the movie Skyfall.

And yes, there’ll be another piece with Clyde later on. Because these two men have my heart and I will not be able to choose. Lol.

Ever since your visit to the antique store with Frankie on a sunny Sunday afternoon, you hadn’t been able to get the set out of your mind. First off, the wood case was beautifully crafted; despite the time passed it still looked shiny and all the metal parts worked well, despite aging and darkening. It had called you from the corner, sung like the sweetest canary, and you had been unable to resist. You marveled the feel of the smooth wood as your hand caressed the corners, admiring the craftsmanship. 

Once you had opened the case, you had been sold. The beautiful straight razor with gold and copper caps, the fluffy brush with a casing for cream, the leather strop and paste box all looked pristine. Well, the strop had obviously been used before, but it still looked in wonderful condition. You could still smell a hint of the musky beard oil that was once kept in its own place within the box, the woodsy and earthy tones hitting your nostrils as you peered in for a closer look.

It had only been the steep price that had made you leave the shaving kit there. But you still had thought about it until long after dinner and as you got ready for bed that you knew you had to get something like that for Frankie. 

After some intense browsing and comparing later, you had finally placed an order for a straight razor kit, some additional oils and moisturizers and they had arrived neatly packaged this afternoon. You had taken the day off work in order to prepare. Preparing meant countless Youtube videos on the subject, practicing the use of the straight razor on air and on balloons you had slabbed some shaving cream on. 

You had also transformed your master bathroom into an oasis, with dimmed lights and one of the dining chairs sitting in the middle of it all. There were lit candles, sheets and towels in the dryer to keep them warm and a small pillow sacrificed for the occasion was sitting beside the sink, ready for use. 

You had a selection of bottles next to the pillow; a small moisturizer, a bottle of beard oil that carried a sandalwood, vanilla and bergamot scent (something you thought he would appreciate) and a little bowl with shaving cream already ready. The piece de la resistance had a prized place on a small side table you’d dragged into the bathroom.

Now you just needed the man of the hour, one Francisco Morales.

You knew he had no flights today so he should be home shortly. Maybe you’d roped Will and Benny into making sure there wouldn’t be any Friday happy hour gatherings but you would never tell. And neither would they if they wanted you to cook for them the next time boys night was at your house. 

Right on cue, you heard the truck pull up and you took the moment to gather one of the sheets and two towels from the dryer, while you waited for him to enter. 

“Hermosa? You home?”

“I’m in the bathroom, babe! Would you come and help me for a moment?”

Was it sneaky to lure him in under false pretenses? Maybe, but getting him in here would be a challenge otherwise. And you didn’t want him wandering around the house and picking up on the missing items. 

Two loud thumps followed your question and you knew Frankie’s boots were off and socketed feet carried him towards your bedroom. Some shuffling around the bed and a question rang out.

“What’s this, hermosa?”

“Please put them on and come in. I have a surprise for you. Oh! And leave the cap behind too, thank you.”  You had laid out a pair of sweatpants and his softest possible T-shirt on the bed, wanting to extend the comfort as far as you could. You pressed play on your phone and smooth classical music began to play from the bluetooth speakers. It was set on top of the toilet, far away from any water sprays. 

You heard him shuffle in the bedroom, no doubt obeying your wishes and you started to swirl the shaving cream in the bowl with the brush, making it as fluffy and airy as you could. 

The door to the bathroom opened and you were greeted by your boyfriend in his grey sweatpants, his white t-shirt and dark curls framing his face. The hair was mussed up, no doubt because of his tendency to keep the hat on at all times and this must’ve been his attempt at ridding himself of hat hair. He looked adorable as the curls hung around his forehead and over his ears all messy. His dark brown eyes were open and curious as they took in the scene and you smoothed down your own t-shirt anxiously.

“Sweetheart… What is all this?” He whispered, the awe clear in his voice. 

“Come, sit down,” You took his hand, placing the bowl back on the counter as you pulled him closer. A small kiss was placed on him by your lips and you pushed him gently towards the chair. As he sat down, you placed the small pillow under his neck, urging him to relax into it. The pillow would certainly help his position in the long run. 

“Remember that antique store a couple of weeks back?” You spoke as you draped the sheet on top of his chest once he was settled. With Frankie’s affirmative hum, you opened the tap and let water run, trying to find the perfect temperature. 

“I didn’t tell you this at the time, but there was this gorgeous antique shaving kit in the back, strops and brushes and all in tip top shape. It got me thinking that I wanted to do a little something to pamper you and I bought a modern-slash-antique-looking set. I want to give you a shave.”

As you spoke, you lathered your hands under the water, ridding them of their coldness before wetting two small makeup towels to run across his face. The surprised gasp that left his lips betrayed he hadn’t been expecting that. 

You got into the rhythm of things, wetting his face with long strokes, allowing the warm towels to soothe his skin and soften it. Frankie’s eyes fell closed as the up and down strokes lulled him. After that, you squirted some cleanser into your hands, rubbing them together.

“I’m going to clean your face real quick, before we get into the shaving part. Do you want me to leave something or would you prefer clean-shaven?” You murmured, keeping your tone low to make sure he wasn't disturbed. 

“Whatever you like hermosa,” came his reply, a sleepy mumble that made you smile. Frankie worked so hard sometimes, taking care of his baby girl on the weekend she was with you, you and your relationship, his sobriety and the copters back in the hangar. 

After Colombia, he and the Miller brothers had joined forces, opening up a business together. They combined self-defence classes and survival training and business was good. Once Frankie had gotten his licence back, they often took their students training in the mountains, testing the limits and allowing for them to train first-aid skills on the wilderness too. 

It was honest and hard work. You knew how much all of them loved it and they were hopeful that Santi would join them as well once he was able, bringing the boys together once more. But the physical aspect of the job, including the maintenance of the planes, did take a lot out of your man, so to offer him this after a long week felt really good. And judging by his blissed-out state in the chair as you swept the lather into his skin and beard, he was enjoying it too. 

Round and round the brush went, all along his jaw and cheeks. You made sure he was well covered in the cream before you stepped back a little, taking the small steel knife into your hand. 

“Cut-throat razor. How very traditional.” 

The quote slipped your mouth quietly as you admired the blade in your hand. Frankie’s eyebrow lifted but a hand on his shoulder eased it down again. Taking a deep breath, you let the blade touch his skin and waited for a beat. When there was no resistance on his part, apart from his hand finding its way to your hip as a grounding place, you let it slide across the lathered skin and stopped about an inch from his jawline. After all, there was something in a man with facial hair, especially if that man was Frankie.   

“Sometimes the old ways are the best,” You couldn’t help yourself, letting the next line fall down as the blade lifted from his skin. The motions repeated themselves, both of you getting lost in the moment. The music faded in the background, Ludovico Einaudi’s calming notes becoming only a memory as you watched the blade move and turn the cream around, revealing smooth skin beneath. Each motion was followed by a swipe on the towel to make sure the blade didn’t dull in the middle of the session. It felt almost like a dance, your breaths the only sound left.

You moved, he stayed still. He moved, you stayed still. Back and forth, like the steps of a complicated dance. 

You didn’t know how long it took, shaving his face, but when there was only the small part left in the middle of his throat, you felt him gulp. 

“Keep still,” You admonished him slightly, tipping his face backwards, his skull digging a little deeper into the pillow that separated it from the cold marble of the sink. “This is the tricky part.” The final swipe was almost tantalizingly slow as you dragged it upwards to meet his chin. The trust he placed in you that moment made you feel powerful. It felt like something settled upon both of you as you lifted the blade from his skin for the last time.  

“Now that’s better,” You breathed out, as you watched him tip his head forward and open his eyes. The dark pools drilled into yours, the arousal and relaxation dancing a tango within, battling for dominance. How you wanted to keep watching it, enjoy how the candlelight reflected from the dark orbs but there were still steps to take before you could. You held his gaze for a moment, before lifting a towel from the counter to wipe off any excess cream left behind. 

“Did you…”

“Shh, I’m not done with you yet, mi amor.” Your eyes crinkled at the corners as you smiled softly to him. Frankie nodded, the movement barely there but still visible. He relaxed back, allowing you to rub some oil into his beard and some moisturizer into his skin. Frankie’s eyes slipped close once more and you took the moment to really admire him and the neatly trimmed beard in full. 

“All done,” A whisper in the air as you trailed his regal nose with your fingertip. His eyes remained closed but his hands grabbed your waist to tuck you into his lap. Slowly, the eyelids opened and lashes fluttered as Frankie peered into your eyes. The relaxation had won out, but there was still a small fire simmering behind that. 

“Did you quote James Bond to me?” He muttered, letting his left hand trail up your spine. 

“You know how I like that scene.” You shrugged. 

“Mhmm… Will you allow me to recreate some other scenes from those movies?” There was a playful edge to his voice as Frankie’s hand rested on the back of your neck. You leaned closer, breaths mingling, as you let a sliver of air between your lips. 

“Go right ahead, mister.” 

Tagging @clydesducktape​ @wayward-rose​ @themuseic​ @miraclesabound​ @clydesfavoritegirl​ @a-true-janian-reply​  @10blurredsmoke10​  @caillea​ @mind-p0llution​ ​

[spnfanficpond]

March 2021 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

WELCOME TO THIS MONTH’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. Everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that this fun, thoughtful award will do just that.

Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for tumblr tagging purposes!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE THIS MONTH’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

A Gentlemen’s Agreement (series) by @stusbunker 

This is one of those fics that immediately got love from me because it’s a rare pair, Dean x Benny. Then, it got more love from me with every chapter, as Dean worked through coming to terms with wanting Benny and Benny was just so damn patient and sweet and loving throughout. The whole story just makes me want to cuddle them both! 

Here’s to Witches by @imagineteamfreewill 

This is one of the few cases where I think even Dean would have been okay with witches. (He’s not in the story, it’s a Sam x reader fic, but if he were, I doubt he’d be bitching about bodily fluids.) By the end of this, I was feeling all kinds of warm and fuzzy!

~*~*~

Nominated by @supernatural-jackles 

Late Night Talks by @luci-in-trenchcoats 

This fic is everything I didn't know I needed. It deals with such a sensitive topic in a positive light. Michelle is very good at dealing with topics that people aren't always comfortable talking about and this only proves that. It's a must read, especially for all of those who are down on themselves because of the way they look.

~*~*~

Nominated by @fictionalabyss 

Safe and Sound by @iflostreturntosteverogers 

you bitch, how DARE you do me like this with your romeo/juliet level shit. I refuse. I refuuuuuuuuse.

Moose on Ice by @iflostreturntosteverogers 

Fluffy goodness and the imagery of a giant trying and failing to skate are exactly what I needed.

Bound to You (Prequel - chapter 4) by @beskaradberoya

Sketchy and filthy goodness so far, and I can’t wait to get to more of this and catch up.

Burnout by @idreamofhazeleyes 

When I had a really bad week, I was on the hunt for something fluffy and sweet, and went to the pond. This was sent my way, and damn if it wasn’t EXACTLY what I needed. The tender comfort was perfection and spot on for Dean. 10/10 would recommend.

~*~*~

Nominated by @negans-lucille-tblr 

Sleep by @nasabeck 

I’ve not been into fluff long, but this was all up in those tingly fluffy feels for me. I absolutely adored it!

Dreams by @little-diable 

Please read the warnings, it’s Sister!Reader! But this has become one of my favourite fics I’ve ever read. Chiara nailed it and made me fall in love with her for it! The smut - Jesus, just read it if it’s your type of thing!

Don’t Speak by @hoboal87 

Again, please read the warnings. This is a dark fic! I couldn’t believe this was the writer’s first time writing dark. It was absolutely delicious. Never hit a follow button so damn fast!

Dirty Little Secrets (series) by @manawhaat 

Wouldn’t have felt right not including this drabble series that I found during founders’ week. As you might have seen if you follow me, my sanity took a sharp decline whilst devouring this fic, and I was not okay. Mana, you freaking hit it out the park dude!! Everyone needs to read this, PLEASE!

~*~*~

Nominated by @tvdspngirl314 

Baby Mine by @hoboal87​ 

I was seriously hurt by the finale but this fic actually helped me cope with it.

My review : This fic starts with reader having contractions as she got ready to give birth to her and Sam’s son. How Sam handled the situation was really cute and the way the writer showed the pain of losing Dean was actually really good. I was half expecting myself to cry but I didn’t. Also there’s some hints of dom Sam in it. Love me some dom Sam.

Safe (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr 

My views on the fic : It starts with Sam’s girl friend Jess dying and Sam slowly starts to discover a dark side in him. He slowly becomes a serial killer and I liked the way how the dark theme has been handled.

~*~*~

Nominated by @princessmisery666​ 

Always With You by @idreamofplaid​ 

Robin, finally, made a master list and in doing so I’ve been able to find some absolute gems that I may have missed previously. Like this one. I looooove this concept of an Angel looking over Sam. It’s was angsty and heart warming and I would read 50k more words of this relationship 💖💜

~*~*~

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch​ 

Whiskey and Scars (series) by @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ 

This is a three part series full of fluff and sexiness, with just a tad bit of angst. Some of Dean’s fun and gentler facets are beautifully detailed. He’s flirty, shy, tender, loving and sexy as hell. I dare you not to sigh while reading it.

~*~*~

Nominated by @agenthellcat​ 

All Hail by @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname​ 

This fic pushed all my buttons: dubcon, domination, submission, kneeling, deep throating, begging to cum. The writing is so descriptive. We really feel Y/N’s ambivalence. She is terrified to see Sam turn dark side, but she also wants him. He knows all of her naughty desires, and he uses them to bind her to him forever. He’s completely uninhibited now that he’s dark, and this ultimately conquers her resistance. This fic played into my own dark desires and that’s why I’m nominating it for an Angel Fish Award.

~*~*~

Nominated by @myinconnelly1​ 

When Daddy’s Not Around (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr​ 

I don’t usually read rpf but I needed some hot Jared action and this fic didn’t just deliver that. The angst and overwhelming love in this fic was just amazing.

Murder of the Virgins by @mummybear​ 

This was just so hot!!!!!!! I can’t talk cause I’m panting and trying to catch my breath!

Loving You by @emilyshurley​ 

Emily man... you were trying to hurt me with this fic I just know it.  I know cause I can feel the knife in my back, so many tears.

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE AWESOME WORK AND GREAT FEEDBACK!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the Pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[lunannex]

LUNA LETS HEAR YOUR IN THE HEIGHTS CHATTER

*pulls up a chair* SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IN THE HEIGHTS–

Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't watched it yet!!!

I've been waiting for this movie ever since it was first announced since I'm a HUGE fan of the musical, and yes, I absolutely DID cry while watching it WHAT ABOUT IT.

I remember the moment when I first discovered it so vividly because, as a Latina of color, I was SO beyond excited to see something that featured Latinos at the center of the story! So yeah, the musical means a lot to me on a personal level. That doesn't take away from the fact that I can be critical of it though because it absolutely DOES have flaws.

My main issue: the film does have issues with colorism and whitewashing. The population in Washington Heights consists of a lot of Afro-Latinos, which is why I'm pretty disappointed that the movie didn't feature any dark-skinned Black Latinos as leads. Benny doesn't count because Corey Hawkins is African-American and doesn't belong to the Latino community. And the rest of the main cast are light-skinned Latinos so I feel like they dropped the ball on that part, which isn't surprising considering that Hollywood prioritizes whiteness over everything but it's still disappointing nonetheless.

I feel like this particular critique of the movie gets brushed off a lot by certain people because they think we should just "be grateful for what we got" which...okay. fine. whatever. But we should never stop pushing for change and improvement, you know?

The characters in the movie really DID feel like a community of Latinos coming together, and I can say this because I'm around that kind of environment every single day, but –as I've seen Afro-Latinos point out– it's not a very accurate depiction of Washington Heights itself. I think they glamorized the struggles that Latinos face in America just a little but I'm not the most appropriate person to comment on that so anyways.

That's my main critique of it, but as for some other smaller ones: 

I'm so bummed that they cut out Nina's mom. What was the REASON!!! I know that they DID do it for a reason but Camila I miss you :(

"Breathe" didn't hit as hard as it did in the musical? Don't get me wrong, Leslie Grace's voice is beautiful, but I just don't think it's particularly strong enough for a song like this. She still did great, though! But "Everything I know" my beloved I can't believe they didn't include you....hate it here😭

Nina and Benny!!! They didn't include Sunrise or the conflic between Benny and Mr. Rosario aaaah. It was still great seeing them interact on screen, but I feel like they didn't give them as much spotlight here as they did in the musical, which is understandable considering what a massive cast of characters they had but STILL. Having a huge cast of characters was a double-edged sword here. It definitely did benefit them in some aspects since it made the neighborhood feel more alive and real, but due to that, some characters didn't get the spotlight they deserved.

They didn't give the audience enough time to really get to know Abuela Claudia before her death, so her passing didn't feel as impactful as it did in the musical, imo. It was still a really tragic moment and made me shed more than a few tears, especially due to Antony's acting during the scene and the narration. "Alabanza" never fails to make me sob.

And I really wish they kept the part in "Paciencia y Fe" where she says "so what will I do with this winning ticket" because that was such an "OH SHIIIT" moment in the musical. But that being said, Olga Merediz did SO WELL and it was shot beautifully!

The pacing was a bit weird in some parts??? Like, I don't wanna give much away and maybe it's just me being nit-picky but that's just how I personally felt.

Ok now onto some of the positives because I know that it seems like I didn't enjoy this movie that much but I REALLY DID!!! I'm just critical of everything I consume.

Anthony Ramos as Usnavi! He did so good!!! I loved that he made the role his own. Same with Olga Merediz as Abuela Claudia, which I'm not surprised by because she was AMAZING in the musical. But tbh, this goes for most of the cast??? I really enjoyed seeing Vanessa, Benny, Nina, Sonny, Carla, Daniela, etc. They were all such great and unique characters!!

The opening song (In The Heights), 96 000, and Carnaval del Barrio were just *chef's kiss* and part of the reason as to why I enjoyed them so much was because of the cinematography and choreography. Especially for 96,000 because OH MY GOD!!!!!!

Adding on to the whole cinematography thing. Holy shit was the cinematography incredible😭 Anyone who's heard me scream about cinematography in film knows just how much I go feral over it when it's done well. And this movie was visually really beautiful!! I am. spontaneously combusting.

I liked that they gave Vanessa and Sonny a bit more development here!! Sonny telling Nina "I was gonna be like you" during the protest absolutely broke me.

Vanessa and Usnavi's relationship was sweet!! Except for. You know. The "you've been shaking your ass for like half of the Heights" line. Which... was definitely NOT in the original musical and felt so out of place.

Usnavi and Abuela Claudia. I love they. I love they so much.

Seeing Merengue and Bachata in the movie made me scream

I cried in so many parts and the ending was no exception. Home is where you make it my dudes!!!😭

tl;dr: the movie has its flaws and it could've been better in a lot of aspects, but I still think it's really enjoyable nonetheless and watching it was a whole other experience all on its own. I could definitely go on and on about it but this is getting really long so I'll leave it here!

[writeblrfantasy]

happy tender tuesday!! what are your favorite romantic scenes for each of your oc ships?? feel free to drop snips or rant about the scenes in detail - tell us all about all of your favorites, especially the ones that dont get as much attention usually!!!

AHH thank u for enabling me!!

lordy where do i even start,,,with gkbk i think

wouldn't be a romance without an oh somewhere in there <3

this scene is probably my favorite for them because it's just so subtle, so tender, and so peaceful. i like to imagine soft romantic music to this scene, a slow zoom of in of laurent's face while he's treading water and esme is totally oblivious. the same vibes as the "a little demonic miracle of my own" scene from good omens <3

for brenin ainsla and seleman thales from brenin:

akai could probably recite this entire scene by heart. it's almost three years old, and everything about it means so much to me. when i was drafting it the first time, i was not only having a blast, i knew it was coming out beautifully, and it continues to be one of the scenes i'm most proud of ever.

kaigolai:

this screenshot doesn't illustrate it well, but nikolai's hesitance and the way the three of them fit into their godly roles, the girls there to catch him when he falls is such the epitome of their relationship. nikolai is confident and sure of himself until he isn't. they help with that. my sweet trio <3

asmani:

maybe it's because i know what every detail of this scene looks like in my head, where their hands are, everything, with the sunset in the background, but i love this one. kayani's utter selfless devotion and asma's struggle to come down from her high horse to them is my favorite trope, you know this <3

for evan and amina from the fv, i haven't written my favorite scene for them yet, and it's also an insane spoiler for the end of the 6th book, but here is a sneak peek of it:

:)

this is one never before seen example of a common theme for cygnan: cygnus getting hurt and harlan picking up the pieces, a broken man until he finally he decides to do something about it. this could be applied to roughly 5 scenes across the series. cygnus's reckless arc and harlan's protective arc both grow as the books go on. i can't tell you how many hurt/comfort scenes for cygnan there are, and i love them all. they're always a treat to write

bennis,,,,ah bennis i don't think this scene needs much explanation. benny gave up the trophy for her :) there are more romantic scenes for them with sweet words and such but i haven't written them yet

resther: this is the typical pre battle confession born out of nerves, but maybe it's because their relationship is just so subtle and there that this is my favorite scene of theirs. they settle into a domestic cottagecore cabin lifestyle and stay there after this with only a few fights. just, i love their stability and the uncertainty of this scene. love them

askel and serian's favorite scene of mine,,,a scene i haven't yet written where askel is telling serian how he got exiled, and about his culture, strictly forbidden and the reason he was exiled in the first place. he loves serian enough to bring up the pain of knowing he's betraying his people again. also the little snippets at the top of every chapter of love letters askel has written him :)

immortals' favorite scene is also one i haven't written yet, where kieran and annaleigh do some serous damage to each other and face the heart of the conflict that has always separated them. i know this doesn't sound romantic, but nothing else of theirs feels real enough to me to count.

i saved this one for last for a reason,,,i was so unsure. but i do think this is it. there is no scene like this for them, as intimate and personal and with such a range of emotions. it's The Talk they needed to have about everything, resolved in every possible way.

thank you so much for asking, i had an insanely fun talking about this even though i'm sure no one's going to read it but you asljdfa

[lies]

I liked “The Queen’s Gambit” a lot. It reminded me of the movie 42 (which I also liked a lot) for a particular reason: In each case I had a strong positive response to the movie/show that I subsequently came to question due to my realizing the problematic nature of things I at first glossed over.

In the end I still liked it a lot, even loved it. But it’s a love colored by questions I have about the sources of my own appreciation.

Is my personal take on this something you’re actually interested in knowing more about? Read on after the cut!

Note: spoilers.

What I liked most about “The Queen’s Gambit”:

* The treatment of chess. They obviously cared deeply about getting it right, and went to obsessive lengths to do so. Most of their audience (including me) would have no real way to tell the difference without being at least decent chess players, but as far as I can tell (from the reactions of people way more into chess than I am) they met that standard. That kind of over-the-top attention to detail is something I care about. That the chess was (mostly) anatomically correct, down to the level of being based on actual grandmaster-level games that were reflected accurately in the characters’ emotions and actions was awesome. Idiot lectures were minimal. The depiction of tournaments was mostly accurate (albeit with some story-serving anomalies like players occasionally addressing each other directly). Besides that realism, the presentation of the games was really well done, in the sense that they didn’t repeat themselves stylistically. We saw lots of different perspectives on the games. There were medium shots of players and boards. Tight close-ups of the player’s hands, or their faces. The audience watching. Tournament staff repeating the moves on a big board. It was always interesting, even absorbing, and I’d blink and realize whoa; they’re actually showing a chess game. And it’s intense.

* The way Beth’s substance abuse was portrayed. There were points in the series where I grew concerned that we were going to trope-land, where the troubled genius spirals down into pills and alcohol, and it would have been boring. Trite/easy/exploitative. And then... they didn’t do that. When young Beth pulls off the big pill heist I was concerned that’s where we were going. And then the way they resolve that, with an over-the-top bravura climax to the whole young-Beth arc, it was breathtakingly good. The same with the latter parts of the series, as she deals with her addiction issues during the tournaments in Paris and Moscow. There was a trite version of that story, and they very much did not tell that version. Instead they gave us something that felt true, as Beth deals with her issues the best she can, with help from others at key moments. It was a positive story that nevertheless didn’t minimize the problem.

* The basic narrative structure, of the young orphan, the weird kid beaten down by the world, learning and growing and eventually triumphing, worked really well for me. I related to Beth, and especially as the show goes on it was exciting to see her become more capable and self-assured. In the scene with her adoptive father when he reneges on the house arrangement you realize that oh; Beth is approaching it as a chess match. She sees the board, is way ahead of her opponent, and is ruthless about pressing her advantage. The look her lawyer gives her at the end of that scene was great.  

* The deeper theme of her found family was beautifully realized, right up to the final scene in the park. Taylor-Joy sold all the key moments in that journey so well, and it made that conclusion completely satisfying and earned.

* There was more that I loved: The period details, the clothes, the cars. Though with the cars, there was a specific thing that was bugging me until I figured out what it was. I grew up watching period pieces from times before I was actually around. But this show, set in the U.S. of the late 1960s, is showing a place and time I actually lived in. So details matter. And with the cars, there was a subtle artifact of unreality: Everyone was driving cars that weren’t actually accurate depictions of what they would have been driving. Instead they were driving cars of that era lovingly restored (and beautifully shot), but still recognizably 21st-century cars. When Beth and Benny drive to New York in Benny’s car, it was the right car (a 1966 VW bug; actually the first car I owned). But it was a ‘66 bug as it looks today when restored by a collector. It wasn’t the version of a ‘66 bug that Benny would have been driving. It should have been scruffier (just like him and his apartment). That was a cheap car at the time, and the right car for his character to have, but it didn’t look like a cheap car. I guess it would be asking too much for them to have gone to the level of not just getting the right car, but of distressing it to look appropriate. I don’t know; as with Beth’s journey toward glamour the cars (and clothes) were treated as eye candy. And on some level I’m sure that was working for me, so maybe I shouldn’t complain.

But that brings me to the thing that I realize was problematic:

* The series at times was super male-gaze-y. The depiction of Beth’s relationships was good, and realistic to who she was. But at a certain point in a series created, written, and directed by a dude, the dude-specific viewpoint was bothersome. And I get that this was part of the story being told: Beth is operating in a world dominated by men, and her reactions to that were interesting. But is that really worthy of elevating as the default frame? The exceptions to that (her relationships with her friend Jolene, and with her adoptive mother) were good, but at times felt peripheral to the main focus, which was on the men dealing with/reacting to Beth. And that’s where it reminded me of 42, with its white-savior narrative that at times seems to focus more on the white characters around Jackie Robinson like Dodgers owner Branch Rickey and shortstop Pee Wee Reese than it does on Robinson himself. And I get that that’s probably a significant part of why the movie (and “The Queen’s Gambit”) worked so well for me in particular: I’m a straight, white, heterosexual dude. So I invest in the drama of the white people around Jackie Robinson, or of a male chess nerd staring slack-jawed at Beth Harmon dancing in her underwear. It works for me because it’s designed to appeal to my perspective. And in each case it’s also a good story with transcendent performances from Chadwick Boseman and Anya Taylor-Joy. What they (and the rest of the people who made these creations) are doing is great, and rises above the limitations of the framing. But I can’t stop myself from wondering: Is it really as good as it seems to me? Or does it just seem that good to me because of who I am?

[and-justice-for-zoisite]

~Ocean Eyes~ (Benny Weir x Reader) Part 9

Series Masterlist  //  Official Masterlist

Summary: Now that you’ve recovered, you and Rory are finally able to go on a date! The destination you choose is the movies, and you’re pretty excited. But because of this, Benny is overwhelmed by jealousy, and has to be pulled into line by his best friend who makes him realize how much of a jerk he’s been to his friend Rory lately.

~

(Just some extra info that I couldn’t fit into the story, it’s been a week since the Price incident and Evelyn isn’t home currently. Enjoy!)

God, you were so beautiful. Your hair had been done up and decorated in a few clear, sparkly hair clips. Your make up matched your clips, consisting of clear, sparkly lip gloss, and glittery eye shadow and blush. And your dress...

(This is your dress, my dear)

This was all courtesy of the talented ladies Sarah and Erica, and the second you stepped out of your room, Benny had his breath taken away and he was left absolutely speechless. Due to this reaction, you thought that maybe you didn’t look right, and you looked down shyly at your dress.

“I-is it too much?” You asked, Benny shaking himself out of his momentary daze as he shook his head and smiled. “No, you’re...” He looked you up and down once more, “...you’re beautiful.” Your face flushed red as you smiled sheepishly, looking down once again.

Benny was jealous. More jealous than anyone who’s ever been jealous in the whole wide world. He wanted to be the one to take you out while you looked that extravagant, but unfortunately that spot was already reserved by Rory for the night. Over the time they had saved you, Benny and Rory had fixed things as friends again. But now, Benny was just about ready to rip the blonde’s head right off and start fighting all over again. You were quite a powerful force, he knew that much. Not even Della, the mega babe from school, could make him go to the lengths he’d go to for you. 

“Gosh they grow up so fast...” Sarah said sweetly as she and Erica came out from cleaning up the make up, “You’re so pretty (Y/n).” “You really think so?” You asked in a soft voice, the two vampire girls looking at each other before nodding. “Rory better watch it, you’re gonna have men gawking at you all night.” Erica said with a small chuckle.

And that statement was enough to make Benny’s blood boil. Not only was Rory competition, but now the entire male population of WhiteChapel was too. 

“(Y/n), are you sure you wanna go on a date with Rory?” Benny asked as he stepped up to you, “You know he’s an idiot...right?” “God Benny, it’s only a date. It’s not like we’re getting married,” You sighed as you poked his cheek, “don’t stress, love.” Benny sighed as he dusted off your shoulders. “Alright, but make sure you’re back by 10. And don’t let him kiss you, he’s probably got rabies or something.” You rolled your eyes as you smiled up at the boy. “Yes mom,” You sighed, Benny chuckling softly at the joke before Sarah and Erica approached you from behind with a hand each on your shoulders.

“Time for your date, (Y/n). Don’t keep Rory waiting.”

~

“Wow, (Y/n). You look...amazing.”

Your dress glimmered against the streetlights, as did your beautifully done make up. You and Rory stood outside the cinema, about to go see one of the films they were playing. He was awestruck by your looks, so much so that he almost forgot how to function. He didn’t hear you quietly thank him before you looked toward the theater.

“So, what movie are we seeing?” You asked sweetly, the boy snapping out of his daze as he looked back toward your eyes. He blushed as he scratched behind his neck sheepishly. “I-I probably should’ve asked you first...b-but I bought us tickets to see this new horror movie...i-I mean if you don’t wanna watch a horror we can just-” “You must’ve read my mind Rory! That was what I was hoping you’d end up picking,” You gushed, the boy feeling his face heat up further as he smiled like a dork. “W-well, we better head in then, and get snacks before the movie starts,” He said in a shaky voice, yourself nodding and giggling as you wrapped your arm around his and held it tight. Rory stiffened up at this at first as his face went completely beet red. But soon enough, he relaxed and simply smiled even deeper as the two of you began heading into the theater with the other people that had you surrounded.

~

“Did you see that dude! She touched him! He’s probably using his vampire hypnotizing powers on her!” “Or maybe she’s being extra friendly because they’re on a date.”

Behind a set of bushes just outside the theater was Benny and Ethan, Benny spying on you and Rory with a pair of binoculars while Ethan was there to try and make sure his best friend doesn’t do anything stupid. But of course, Benny doing something stupid would always be inevitable, especially for a girl.

“I seriously think Rory must’ve done something to (Y/n) to make her even consider saying yes to a date with him,” Benny said as he continued to stare at the two of you through his binoculars, “I looked all through grandma’s vampire books but I didn’t find anything.” “Dude, can’t we just leave them alone? It’s just one date, and besides,” Ethan looked around cautiously, “If Sarah catches us spying on them, she’ll kill us. And unlike you, I very much value my life.”  “I don’t trust Rory with (Y/n), not one bit. What if he’s trying to eat her? They don’t call them pure bloods for no reason,” Benny asked. “I think you’re just jealous,” Ethan said, his friend’s head snapping up as soon as the word ‘jealous’ fell from his mouth. Benny stared at him for a moment with squinting, offended eyes, a questioning look upon his face. “Jealous?” He asked, Ethan nodding, “You think I’m jealous?” “I mean, if stalking a girl on a date with another guy creepily from behind a bush doesn’t scream jealous then I don’t know what does,” Ethan explained, shoving his hands into his jean pockets, “and besides, you have perhaps the most obvious crush on (Y/n) ever.” “I do not!” Benny screeched, Ethan tilting his head as he gave him the raised brow ‘oh really?’ look.  After a second, Benny sighed and rolled his eyes as he accepted it. “Ok fine, maybe there’s some romantic feelings in there for her.” “Some?? Dude! You’re still wearing her hoodie!”  “It’s comfortable!” Benny defended as he clutched the sleeves of your hoodie. “And you might as well holding a big fat sign in neon lights that says ‘I have a huge crush on (Y/n)’!” Ethan unintentionally shouted. “Ok, first of all, shut up, this is supposed to be a stealth mission,” Benny began, Ethan rolling his eyes before his friend continued, “Second of all, you’ve gotta understand my point of view on the situation.” “God, here we go again...” Ethan sighed as he spun around and crossed his arms. “I am seriously concerned that if this date goes smoothly, (Y/n) might as well be kissing her everlasting life goodbye and then diving head first into concrete.” “Do you hear yourself? You’re making Rory out to be this shitty guy Benny!” Ethan spun back around to face his friend, “He’s our friend, and even if he’s an idiot, we always look out for our friends. He saved your life just last week! Can’t you just be happy for him?” “Maybe I just think (Y/n) deserves better than him,” Benny growled as if he was trying to suppress his anger as he stepped toward Ethan in a sort of stubborn way. “Then why aren’t you the one taking her to see a movie tonight??”

Benny wanted to say something to that, but he found that he really couldn’t, considering that was indeed a very good question. Why wasn’t he the one taking you to see a movie that night? He wasn’t even sure himself, and it was evident as his face morphed into a softer and more perplexed look. 

“But...I was the first one to even take her on a date...I took her to the ice cream parlor...” “Dude, you gotta be consistent. You can’t just take a girl on one good date and then expect her to be securely yours because if she’s anything like (Y/n), then she’s gonna have all sorts of guys trying to impress her and steal her heart. You have to work for her, you have to wow her, you have to earn her. And doing stuff like this is literally the equivalent to using cheat codes on Knights of Ninjustu 4, and we both know that you’d never do that,” Ethan placed a hand on his best friend’s shoulder before continuing, “Do something for her everyday, get her something nice, compliment her, treat her like a princess. And I can guarantee you, you’ll be the one she wants at the end of the day.”

The green-eyed brunette stared at his best friend for a moment, taking a little time process his little speech. And once he had, he chuckled softly and, too, placed a hand on Ethan’s shoulder.

“How do you not have a girlfriend yet?” He asked, Ethan shrugging as he too laughed a little and they began subconsciously walking away from the cinema side by side. “Because I go for girls that are way outta my league,” He responded, Benny smirking as he nudged him with his elbow. “C’mon dude, Sarah’s not that far outta your league.” “Just shut up and walk to the pizza place in town with me, I need some pepperoni in my system.”

And with that, the two geek best friends made their way to the main street of town, where they ordered a pizza and chowed down with their nerd talk. Benny realized how lost he would be if he didn’t have Ethan to pull him into line, and for that he was grateful.

~

After the two of you had gotten snacks and had a little bit of small talk while you waited for your assigned cinema to be available, you and Rory were finally seated, and more than excited to watch this new movie. This gave you a moment to think about the current situation you had fallen into. 

Rory was an absolute sweetheart. He was a fun, energetic guy and you really did appreciate him. It’s just...you already had something for Benny. Romantic or not, it was still something. Every time you had cried recently, he was the one to comfort you, hold you, and he did it no questions asked. Not to mention the fact that he kissed you to save your life. You knew that Rory would’ve done the same thing, but...you didn’t even know how to finish that sentence, you just...felt different around Benny. This whole mess was something you were yet to understand, but understand it you would...eventually. 

~

After they ordered their pizza and bought some soda, the two geek boys took a short stroll and eventually found themselves at the local park, sitting across from each other on one of the platforms of the playground equipment, their half eaten and soda in between the two of them as Benny’s phone blared some pop punk music, neck deep and Paramore and all of that quality pop punk the two boys enjoyed. They did this even though it was dark and cold, they simply needed to get out for a bit, considering they never really did due to the amount of video games they’d play on a daily basis. It was nice though, just to take a moment to get away from everyone and everything and spend a bit of one on one bro time with each other as best friends. 

Benny really needed this if he was honest. He was so lost in his own emotions that he’d pretty much lost sight of his entire life. If it wasn’t for Ethan, he’d probably be in even deeper and worse than he already was. He felt more than guilty for the way he’d been treating Rory over the past few weeks, like he was competition over a friend. I mean, yes, in a sense, he was competition. But he was a friend first, and Benny had been a real jerk to him over something as childish as crushing on the same girl as he was. 

But on the other hand...

Ethan wasn’t wrong when he pointed out that Benny had perhaps the most obvious crush on you ever. I mean, it was kind of a crush...he wasn’t even sure of it himself considering he hadn’t even known you for too long. But one thing he did know was that he wanted to protect you at all costs, and be closed to you and hold you and...

“What’ya thinkin’ about dude?” 

Benny was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the voice of his best friend from in front of him, his green eyes meeting the likes of brown eyes.

“Hm?” He hummed, not quite understanding what he was getting at. “It’s just...you’re really quiet, and you seem...lost, really lost,” Ethan leaned forward slightly, so that his elbows rested on his outstretched legs, “what’s going on in that crazy mind of yours, Weir?” Benny stared at him for a moment, trying to think of a way to put how he was feeling. He most certainly wasn’t even sure of what was happening in his mind himself, even though he had direct access to it. 

Benny leaned his head back so he was looking up slightly, letting it rest against the grubby jungle gym railings as he searched for an answer.

“Chaos, absolute chaos,” That was the best way he could describe it, “I’m such a piece of shit for treating Rory the way I did.” “You’re not a piece of shit Benny, you’re just...” Ethan paused to try and find the correct terminology, “...new to the concept of actually having a chance with a girl, but another guy also having a chance with a girl, and since that guy is one of your close friends, you actually have to be conscious of what you do so you don’t screw up the friendship.” “Ugh! This is all too hard...maybe I should just give up, at least Rory isn’t a jerk.”  “B, please don’t think like that, especially when you and (Y/n) are already so close. Do you not see the way her behavior visibly changes when you’re around?” Ethan asked, Benny rolling his eyes as he looked toward his friend. “Yeah? How?” “Well, for one, she gets a lot less shy. She becomes more bubbly, more energetic, she talks in a slightly higher tone. She starts fidgeting with her belongings, and seems to smile even bigger, if that’s even possible. But the thing that seals the deal for me...” Ethan had stopped counting on his finger, but instead let them rest in his lap, “...it’s one simple and easy to miss detail. Whenever she sees you, the ocean in her eyes changes slightly.”

Benny became intrigued at this statement, and it was evident as his eyes softened slightly.

And this well needed talk was what drove the idea of quitting out of Benny’s mind. 

~

“Jeez Louis, the directors really didn’t hold back, did they?” 

“You can say that again...that was intense.”

The movie had finished, and you and Rory had just left the theater. The night breeze was cold, not that you really minded, cold weather was always lovely. Rory had offered to walk you home, to which you accepted, even though you were more than capable of walking home safely by yourself. His company was nice, and you weren’t about to turn it down. 

With a reasonable amount of his goofy jokes and decent small talk, you had arrived at your home, or rather, the Weir household. You bid your goodbyes before he left and you entered the house.

Sighing loudly out of exhaustion, you slipped your shoes off and dropped your purse by the door before you headed through to the kitchen where you met Benny who was packing a half eaten pizza into the fridge accompanied by Ethan who was leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Hey,” you greeted simply with your sweet smile, the two boys turning to you when they heard you. “Hey, how was it?” Ethan asked, cutting to straight chase. “It was fun. I found out that Rory doesn’t take jump-scares too well, but it was fun. It wasn’t at all romantic, which is weird considering Rory had been extra flirty toward me to hype himself up for the date after he asked me, but y’know, I think I enjoyed it better that way.” You explained, sighing as you leaned against the counter next to Ethan.

Benny didn’t want to admit it, but he felt his heart jolt slightly when you said that, and he was relieved that that was the turn of events of the date. He really did have a decent chance after all.

“Well, I’m glad you had fun,” He said as he shut the fridge and turned to look at you, only to see that you looked rather tired with your half lidded eyes and droopy stance, “but you look super tired (Y/n).” “I am,” You opened your arms with a goofy smile, “You’d be willing to carry a tired lady to her bed, wouldn’t you?” Benny couldn’t help a chuckle as he moved from the fridge over to you. “Of course, what kind of gentleman would I be if I couldn’t?” He said as he scooped you up into his arms bridal style, Ethan chuckling sweetly at the situation while you giggled and wrapped your arms around Benny’s neck. “Excuse us for one moment,” Benny joked to Ethan before heading toward your room, you securely in his arms.

Of course, it didn’t take very long to arrive to your room, and once you did, Benny gently set you down on your bed, yourself simply taking the time to stare into his eyes for a good long moment, goofy smile still present. He noticed almost immediately, and couldn’t help a quiet chuckle as he sat on your bed beside you and stared back.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” He asked, yourself giggling as you reached up and booped his nose gently. “Because you’re so pretty,” You replied, the boy giving her a slightly puzzled yet humored look. “Interesting terminology, but thank you,” He responded in a soft voice as he poked your forehead gently, “you’re pretty too.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment more, with sweet smiles and a sweet atmosphere. You just couldn’t describe how you felt in that moment, like...you were so calm, yet so absolutely giddy on the inside. That was why you sat up, slowly, and wrapped your arms around Benny’s middle, pressing your face into his shoulder. He was slightly taken a back, and he felt his tummy twist slightly, but he also seemed to immediately react, and within seconds had his arms around you too. The two of you stayed like that for a while, enjoying each other’s warmth, scent, feeling...it was an indescribable emotion you both shared in that simple yet tender moment.  

You felt so safe in his arms, and they were where you wanted to stay for as long as you could.

~

A/n: So, I really wanted to do some character development in this chapter. Like, make Benny realize that he was being an out of character jerk and show Ethan’s adorable soft side and how much he cares about his bestie and how he brings it upon himself to pull him into line, since I don’t see a lot of their close moments in other fan fics. Anyways, 

I’d really appreciate it if ya’ll went and checked out my character list and made requests based off of the characters given, bc I’m heccing bored and I need writing motives. Please and thank you!!

Taglist:

@bisexualprinxexx @realityshifter111 @fandom-imagines1 @floppytheprofessionalflopper @libellule2001 @hayleythahuman @aziggya @pigtailedspinel​  @pettyjayy​ 

~  Stay Tuned!!

[zalrb]

Speaking of comfort scenes, do you have any that you will watch sometimes? Like, they can be soft, passionate or angsty, but are there scenes you like to watch regularly because they have a place in your heart? I don't if the question is weird, but I got curious haha

I mean, I don’t go onto youtube looking for specific scenes, if I want to feel comforted or if I watch something regularly because I have a kind of soft spot for it, it’s a movie or a show and within that movie or show I could have a particular episode or scene that I look forward to?

So for instance, LOTR. I watch LOTR semi-regularly for various reasons but one of which is if I’m having a really bad day, LOTR comforts me it calms down and I really love the scene in Two Towers when the Ents march on Isengard, it’s the score, I find the score ethereal and comforting and a war cry all at the same time and I really like the Ents, it was one of my favourite chapters of the book, so I watch LOTR knowing I’m going to watch that scene eventually and I look forward to it

The first three Pirates of the Caribbean I also watch not necessarily to be comforted but I think ( find it soothing because I like water/the ocean I also find that it can either put me in a writing mood or it can get me to go to sleep if it’s just not happening and for that I just like certain pieces of dialogue and I look forward to that

I watch The Mummy from time to time because I just love it, the older I get the more I appreciate how ridiculous and fun it is and I always look forward to any  Rick and Benny scenes but especially

and I also love this fucking gem

Moonlight is becoming a movie I watch from time to time because it’s just a beautifully crafted film and I appreciate it differently each time and I read the script a lot so the diner scene when he sees Kevin after how many years, the first time I watched the movie, I couldn’t watch the scene full on, like my head was turned slightly in the theatre because I found the silence, the awkwardness, the tension, it was kind of like unbearable intimacy so that’s the scene I look forward to watching the most --- it’s not the full scene because for me it was from the moment he enters the diner but

For Goblin, there are so many scenes, so, so, so, so many scenes I look forward to watching and getting my heart broken all over again but for the purpose of this ask, the scene where she remembers him is not on YT or I just can’t find it, so his goodbye kiss to her and the music that swells so perfectly to match the drama of the kiss, especially when she opens her eyes, even writing it out, my chest is like YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. LOVE IT.

I do also watch Entourage semi-regularly but for that one there isn’t really a scene or an episode I look forward to, I just, for some reason, find Entourage in all of its problematic glory to be quite comforting.

I’m not gonna lie, when I rewatch SOA, I do look forward to Jax killing Kohn, I find it to be romantic in a very warped way and it works for the show and it works for Jax and Tara and it works for Tara because Tara still had agency in her own rescue, she was really smart in getting herself as much out of the situation as she could and the rest was up to Jax

[zodiacal-dust-and-curls]

Meant to Be

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: None that I can think of. Let me know if you see any!

A/N: I hope y’all are ready. This is a little ridiculous, but I had fun writing it. The reader’s character has a name! But her perspective will be in second person and physical description will be vague. (Sorry, I needed a pretty distinct name for this.)

Thank you to @im-justatrashcan for the request and as always a big thank you to my proof-reader and PSM @mollymarymarie

All your life, you’d had the name ‘Ben Jones’ written in black ink on the inside of your wrist. A common place for a soulmark, really. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about it. Including the name.

It was very frustrating, honestly. It had exhausted you since you were thirteen and everyone else started meeting their soulmates left and right, literally. You’d watched both of your best friends, at the ripe old age of 15, turn opposite directions and bump into their soulmates.  From that day forward, their marks had been so beautifully colored and their soulmates never too far away.

But ‘Ben Jones’? That was like finding a needle in a haystack. Your wrist might as well have said ‘John Smith’.  It haunted you.

By the midpoint of senior year, ninety percent of your schoolmates had found their other halves and you were still alone.

Then one day, in early 2012, you noticed something. Your mark no longer said ‘Ben Jones’. It now read ‘Ben Hardy’ and you felt like life was just about to get more complicated.

Ben had always wondered how he’d meet you, the mysterious ‘Cheyenne Williams’. Tattooed on his tricep, destined to be his forever. Just from your name, he could tell you weren’t English.

It excited him. He always wondered where life would take him, and he knew for sure he’d get to travel at least part of the world.

Growing up, he was never too concerned with meeting his soulmate. Lots of his friends met theirs between 13 and 18. But it never seemed to bother him. He knew he’d find you one day. It certainly seemed like it wouldn’t be anywhere near his home.

When he started his career, he worried about you being able to find him. He had to change his name, there was just no way around it. Even if it was just a stage name, it would still be the easiest way to recognize him.

He worried over something else, too. Because of his career choice, he’d need to cover his mark. It felt like he was hiding you from the world. Even though he hadn’t met you, he never wanted you to think he could be ashamed of you. That just wasn’t true. He just didn’t want anyone to lie to him and use your name to hurt either of you. It was hard to explain your motives to someone you still hadn’t met.

You were the only one that noticed the change in your mark. As long as the first word was ‘Ben’ and it was still black, no one else really seemed to care. Which, helped you avoid a lot of trouble, honestly.

You really had to fight the urge to google the new name. The development had you stuck somewhere between worry and wonder. Worry for your soulmate’s safety, could something have happened to him? Wonder for yourself, had anyone else ever had their mark change?

The best course of action was to not call any attention to it. You didn’t want to become a case study. There was absolutely no one that would be helped by that. Well, out of the people you were truly concerned for (yourself and your soulmate), no one would probably be helped.

Years after the change, only your mother and best friend had noticed. It took them months to see any difference at all, and it wasn’t the mark that caught their eye. It was your demeanor. The girl with a slightly bitter heart and too many choices had finally seemed hopeful. It threw each of them for a loop, but they’d each asked as curiosity got the best of them.

One day in 2016, your best friend, Tyler, convinced you to see a movie with her. She seemed really excited about it. She said it was going to restart the X-Men franchise and give rise to a whole new generation of superheroes. With all her excitement about the film, you couldn’t say no.

That’s how you found yourself transfixed on the pouty blond angel only a few minutes into the movie. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you felt like you’d seen him before. Somewhere. . . But where?

To say that Ben was a little disappointed that he didn’t find you  while shooting his first American film wouldn’t be incorrect. He tried to reassure himself that he’d only seen a small part of the country during pre- and post-production, and there would be plenty more to see later. His career was just starting, really.

There was still plenty of time.

Oh my God. Was that really him? You were so glad that Tyler had run to the restroom immediately after the post-credit scene. You needed to talk yourself out of this. Now.

There was no way your soulmate was an actor. Let alone one that had acted alongside some of your favorites. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna d-

“Chy? You look a little lost there. Are you okay?” Tyler was back. Oh man, this could be really bad.

“I’m fine, Ty.” You smiled at her, storing all your thoughts away to freak out over later. “Let’s go get dinner, yeah? That movie was crazy long.”

With a roll of her eyes, she agreed. “Leave it to my bestie, with the freaky Mark, excuse me, the mutant Mark, to have that look on her face because she’s hungry.”

You just stuck your tongue out at her and promised yourself that you would check his IMDB later for interviews. Maybe life would be interesting after all.

By mid 2018, Ben still hadn’t met you. He felt like he’d traveled a fair bit. Met new and exciting people. But you were the only person he was just dying to meet.

Okay, maybe that had changed for a hot minute in 2017. He was cast to play a living legend. Could you really blame him for wanting to meet Roger Taylor (the drummah from Queen)?

Ben decided you could probably let that slide. It was just one small request on his growing pile of things to ask forgiveness for.

Hopefully, the upcoming press tour would help him out.

Except that he wouldn’t be going on the American leg of the tour (all the boys had agreed that the name was definitely American, more than likely Southern) due to work. Fate, what game were you playing?

Stalking may have been a tad excessive to describe the ferocity with which you watched a certain Mr. Hardy from that fateful day in the movie theater to now.

You’d looked up several of his interviews, especially any that mentioned his mark, or rather lack thereof. He never brought it up on his own and always seemed ready to deflect with some other comment when asked. There was no way he was your soulmate. He clearly was just one of the UnMarked and wasn’t comfortable talking about it.

It hadn’t even shown up in any of the candids or BTS content you’d seen. He just didn’t have one. It was that simple.

That didn’t stop you though. You still managed to see all his projects. The latest one seemed promising. He was set to play Roger Taylor, yes the Roger Taylor your own mother was in love with as a young girl, and they would even have a press tour stop close to your home town.

Ty had, of course, figured everything out that first day and encouraged you to chase it.

(“He could just be a really private person, Chy. What if he covered it up to protect you?

“Right Ty, I’m sure that’s exactly what some English actor that knows nothing about me did.”

Tyler just narrowed her eyes at you, wishing you would regain a little of the hopefulness you’d had back when the change had happened. “I’m right. Just you wait.”

“I certainly will wait, but don’t expect me to hold my breath.”)

So, you and Tyler had made plans to go to the stop. It could be fun, and maybe you’d finally know if she was right.

“Cheyenne Montgomery Williams, get out of the bathroom or you are gonna miss the whole thing. Jeez.” Ty screamed through the door at you. What were you even doing here? He wouldn’t be here and you knew he didn’t have a mark. He’d never confirm that in interviews, but you just knew it.

“First of all, that’s not my name and you know it.” You pushed the door open with enough force to bump Ty back a little and leveled her with a narrowed glare. “Secondly, so what if I missed the whole thing? He isn’t here.”

“Excuse me?” You heard a voice come from your side. “What did you say your name was?”

You looked in the direction of the voice and released Ty from your stare. “I didn’t. She -,” you used your head to gesture to Ty, hands still poised on your hips and stopped. Joe Mazzello was looking at you with a ridiculous amount of glee in his eyes.

Ben’s phone buzzed from beside him. It was late evening in Rome, where he was filming his newest project.

Joey: Oh, Benny Boy. You aren’t going to believe this.

Benny Boy: Believe what?

Joey: On second thought, I’ve decided not to tell you.

          Yet.

          When will you be able to visit me in the states?

Ben just shook his head. He was sure Joe had good motives, but all he wanted to do after this film was go home and sleep for a few days. He missed his bed and his Frankie.

Benny Boy: We talked about this.

                      I’m going to go home for a bit. I can come visit you in December.

Joey: That’s so far awayyyyy.

           But I shall wait for you.

           Until then, Jonesy.

JM: Are you ready?

The CW: Nope.

JM: Perfect. It’s showtime.

You had just pulled up to the shop Joe had been bothering you about. The man loved donuts and apparently these were the best in Dallas. It was a bit too far from your hometown for you to be overly familiar with the area, but you allowed Joe his indulgences.

It was weird to think that you got a celebrity’s phone number. Much less for such innocent reasons. He really did just want to check on you and figure out who you were before he introduced you to Ben. There was a good chance Joe was more nervous than you were.

“Mate, why am I filming you eat this donut?” It was the one question Ben felt Joe could actually answer. It wasn’t the only question he had, just the only one he thought he could get an answer to.

“It’s going to be transcendent.” Joe fixed his gaze on the prize in his hand, which was possibly the shiniest donut Ben had ever seen. “ Just shut up and point the camera at my face, Jonesy.”

“Really, Joe? Is that anyway to treat your friend?” Ben could have sworn he’d heard that voice before. It sounded like home, but with a drawl.

“Really, Joe? Is that anyway to treat your friend?” You smiled at Joe over the blond head in front of him.

“You know what, Chy? I think it is.” He couldn’t help but grin back at you. “Besides, this one,” he gestured to the man seated in front of him, “has kept the both of us waiting long enough. Don’t you think?”

It seemed like it took him an eternity to turn around and face you. But when he did, you couldn’t look away. Those eyes, the same ones you’d seen all those years ago projected in front of you, were even more breathtaking in person. The mouth that you’d watched form countless words in dozens of interviews, was right there and you waited for it to move.

“I think you’re absolutely right, Joey.” But you couldn’t tear your gaze from Ben. He was here. He was real. It was finally time to see if Ty was right.

“Cheyenne?” He breathed out with a sense of wonder, as if trying your name for the first time.

“Cheyenne?” Ben couldn’t believe this was what Joe had been hiding from him for 2 months. It was you. He found you, the only thing that was still missing from his life.

“It’s very nice to finally meet you, Ben.” Your voice was like music to his ears, especially when you said his name. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of the sound.

He had honestly never tried to imagine you, and he’s very glad he didn’t. Whatever he would have dreamed up wouldn’t have been as good as what was standing in front of him now.

Hesitantly, Ben stepped toward this astonishing woman that was meant to be his. Joe was basically forgotten behind him as Ben moved in to hug you.

The next thing you knew the two of you were moving towards each other. You reached out and hooked your right forearm behind his left shoulder and pulled Ben to you.

Distantly, you could hear Joe cheering. Two of his new favorite people were finally together. First contact had been made. It was finally time to see if Ty and Joe were both right or if they’d just been feeding you false hope all these years (and months).

But he didn’t intervene immediately. Joe let the two of you lose yourselves in the embrace. You were grateful for that. After 20+ years of waiting, at times not so patiently, you felt like you’d finally found your home.

“Okay, lovebirds. You don’t have to completely disentangle, but there’s something I gotta see.” Ah, Joe. He’d waited as long as he possibly could. But Ben supposed he was owed this. To be the first to see his colored Mark.

Ben felt a little wistful for not taking a minute to admire it in the mirror this morning. He wished he would have known that he’d never see the familiar black script on his skin again. It had been replaced with some vibrant color. He was sure of it, and the possibilities of the new discovery left him a little giddy.

Slowly, Ben pulled you to his right and twisted his left arm forward. Sure enough, there in a jeweled red was the name he’d been looking at all his life. But now he had new hope attached to it.

Joe was possibly the most impatient person you knew at this moment. All you wanted to do was hang on to Ben a little longer. You weren’t ready for reality to come crashing down on you.

Ben slowly pulled you to your left and started to twist his arm.

You decided it was time to take the plunge and glanced down at your right wrist. There in a striking red was his name.

The sight brought tears to your eyes. You thought this day would never come. You thought that Fate had been playing a cruel trick on your whole life. But here it was. Living proof.

“Oh. love. Don’t cry.” Ben heard a sniffle come from your  direction. He paused his celebrating to take care of his soulmate. He really could get used to that, his soulmate. “What’s wrong?”

“I just,” you were still fighting tears in the little shop, “I just never thought this day would actually come.”

To hear that broke Ben’s heart. He had always justified his actions to himself (hiding his mark, deflecting in interviews, letting Roger Taylor take your spot as the #1 person he wanted to meet) and now it was time to justify them to you.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” Ben rested his forehead against your own. “We can go talk somewhere private.” His voice had softened and taken on a concerned undertone.

“That sounds good. Let’s go.” You waved towards Joe and blew him a kiss. You could see the excitement on his face for the both of you. He was a good friend, truly. You’d have to find a way to thank him for putting the two of you together.

Ben was so relieved that you took him to a park towards the outskirts of the big city. He preferred to think and talk while moving, It helped him focus.

“So I’m sure I owe you some explanations.” He began. He made sure to loop your arm with his not wanting you to get too far away or for his voice to get so loud that passers-by would hear your conversation.

“Yeah, just two really.” He was shocked that you agreed with him. Most of the soulmates he’d seen were so instantly in love, he wasn’t ready for any push back.

“Which one would you like first, love?” If there were two you wanted now, he wanted to be sure they were the ones you wanted and not the ones he thought were most important.

“Why did my Mark change?” That . . . may have stopped him in his tracks a little.

“Your Mark . . .changed?” He was a little confused. He’d never heard of Marks changing.

“Yeah. One day it said ‘Ben Jones’ and the next it said ‘Ben Hardy’. I always worried that something bad happened.” You looked up at him and back down quickly before admitting the next bit. “I may have googled you after X-Men came out and found out that it’s just your stage name.”

Ben wracked his brain for an answer to that one. “I don’t know about that one, but we can figure it out together.” He smiled at you.

“The next one is why haven’t you admitted to having a Mark?” There it was. His biggest fear to have to explain to you. Of course, you would want to know. It probably would have gotten you together faster if he’d just made it public information.

Ben stopped and pulled you closer to him with a hand on either side of your face.

“That was the hardest decision I’d ever had to make.” He looked so sad as he met your eyes. “I wanted to protect you, and myself. I wanted this life and career. I made this choice. You didn’t.”

“Are you joking?” You blinked, a little dumbfounded. “I am never going to hear the end of this from Ty.” You shook your head and grabbed his wrists to pull his hands away from your face.

“Let’s see it then.” You fully met his eyes, a new determination in your own.

“Well, alright.” Ben gave you a cocky smile and  turned around to pull his sleeve so that you could see your own name in a startling blood red on his skin. “What do you think?”

Before you could respond, you reached out and ran your hand from his elbow to his shoulder following the path your name made. “It’s incredible.”

Ben had just watched your face and taken in the quiet astonishment that played across it. He could never have guessed that you really thought this day would never come.

Quickly, he fixed his shirt sleeve and turned back to face you. “Can I see yours?” He asked quietly.

You extended your wrist out towards Ben and he took it carefully, almost as if you would break. He brought himself around to stand next to her so that he could read his own name appropriately.

“I can’t believe it’s really there.” He took in the wine red stain on your wrist that was his name and rubbed the pad of his thumb delicately along it. “Ben Hardy. Who would’ve thought that it would change to my stage name?” He asked mostly to himself.

“I certainly didn’t, but I’m so glad it did.” You placed your hand on top of where his thumb was tracing your Mark and gave him a genuine smile. The one you got in return was absolutely blinding.

“I guess Fate decided that we were meant to be.”

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! See y’all sometime next week. I’m going to go be murdered by these two tests. Have a good day, lovelies!

Taglist: @rogers-wristbands @deakydeckme

[destiel-love-forever]

Just One Night

From my prompt challenge: Anon asked for 13 & 26 (Dystopian Society combined with "Spend the night with me... just one night.").

- This is set in a dystopian society - Kind of like Hunger Games but I haven’t read/watched those in forever so not really. The Games are a thing and are mentioned but aren’t in the story at all. The society is very oppressive and segregated. Different races/ethnicities are divided into the different districts. Sexual orientation/gender is forced to be the heterosexual/cisgender. Anyone who interacts with other races, participates in lgbtq sex acts/gender acts/etc. is put into the games - Castiel is a young man (18/19 ish) in the technology district. Dean is one of the high ranking government soldiers assigned to the district to keep things in order.

Available on AO3 here 

The subtle crunch of gravel beneath Dean’s feet is a comfort to him by now, just like the heavy weight of the assault rifle in his hands. Since his promotion, he doesn’t get to go on patrols very often. He’s always bogged down with leadership shit. Lately, he’s been trying to hop on as many patrol shifts as possible, even if it means working all day and night. It soothes him to have his boots on the ground. To see his district.

He scans the area on a constant look, his eyes darting left to right. Nothing significant has happened in district three in months, when those two women were caught together. Dean’s best friend, and right hand man, Benny, was who caught them that night. He got upgraded from the barracks to his own government paid apartment as a reward. The two women will be in the games next month.

“Got laid last night,” Benny tells him as they walk side by side, boots creating a steady rhythm as they turn into their final neighborhood before they have to start their patrol route all over again.

“Oh, really?”

“Pretty little thing from the company down the street. She’s a security system developer.”

“Nice. She a good fuck?”

Benny gets distracted by a young boy in the usual district three blue shirt and a ratty pair of jeans. He’s playing with another boy his age and they’re holding hands as they run across the grass, giggling. When Dean realizes Benny’s heading toward them, he grabs his friend and tugs him back a step. “Harmless. They’re children.”

“Doesn’t mean they don’t know they’re fags. At that age I was already kissing girls, and thinkin’ of doing a lot more.”

“We’ll keep an eye on ‘em.” Dean keeps walking, his heart racing as he waits to see if Benny will join him. Dean’s his commanding officer, so he can order Benny to leave the boys alone, but that’d raise questions. It’s much better if Benny chooses to do it himself. He releases a puff of breath in relief when his friend leaves the two boys behind. Truth is, they do have feelings for each other. Dean saw them kissing last week in the forest, down at the fishing hole nearby. It had made him smile. He couldn’t get himself to take them into custody.

His heart barely has time to relax before the next wave of panic sets in. This time, it’s because they’re turning onto the street where Castiel Novak lives. The young man is a factory worker but receiving schooling to be an engineer. He wears blue shirts covered in oil most of the time, with a nice pair of black jeans that hug his ass beautifully. He has messy, curly hair that Dean bets is real soft. And incredible blue eyes that pop right out of his face, especially if he’s cleaned himself up and put on one of his nicer blue shirts, or his favorite blue sweater when it gets cold out. Beautiful. Every time Dean sees him, he worries a neon sign flashes above his head, letting Benny and everyone else know who he really is.

“Fuck, I need to piss,” Benny grumbles. Since the fucking universe hates Dean Winchester, Benny heads straight for Castiel’s house specifically, walking toward it with a purpose. They’re allowed to do whatever they please, mostly unchecked, as soldiers here. They can demand food. Shelter. Water. Bathrooms. Sex, though Dean isn’t a fan of that. He doesn’t believe in raping anyone, even if it’s technically legal. Thankfully Benny agrees on this one or Dean may not be able to work with the guy. Every girl his friend fucks is more than willing. Of course, that partly has to do with the fact that if they can get him to marry them, they win a ticket out of this hell hole and into the capital.

It’s late, after dinner, and Dean knows that Castiel will be there. He schools his expression and thinks of the last games, when he watched those two men in love have to fight for their lives. He refuses to be one of them. And shit, as a government employee, the capital would really make an example out of Dean. He’d be lucky if he even got to be in the games instead of some other form of punishment. Something extra to make sure the rest of the soldiers stay in line.

Besides, Castiel probably isn’t even gay. He’d be a dipshit if he was. Dean laughs softly to himself. As if it’s something Castiel could decide. He would be just as much stuck with it as Dean is, if he were to be gay. The government can say what they want, but it ain’t a choice. Lord knows Dean’s tried.

“Oh. Hello.” Castiel flinches when he sees the two men. His eyes flick over to Dean and Dean notices that he relaxes, as if Dean’s presence is preferable to Benny’s. That makes Dean nervous. As if Castiel can sense that he’s a traitor, that he’s a hypocrite.

“I need to piss. Move.”

“Ben,” Dean chides, giving his friend a dirty look.

Rolling his eyes, Benny still shoves past Castiel, but he at least mumbles, “Thanks.”

Dean rocks on his heels. Sometimes, the owner will invite him in too. Other times, they don’t want him in there. He’s unsure what will happen here but he thinks it’s best if he stays outside.

“Do you - uh,” Castiel tugs at his hair and Dean notices he’s in that pretty sweater. Dean’s favorite. The knitted one that looks soft and warm and is just a shade darker than his eyes, which makes them seem brighter than normal. “Do you need to go?”

“No. Thank you.”

“Are you thirsty or anything?”

Dean gives him a gentle smile. “I’m not like Benny. I can buy my own food and use public bathrooms. Thank you, though.”

“I’m inviting you. You aren’t taking advantage if I invite you.”

“Really. It’s okay.” Jesus, dude. Stop. I can already feel myself fucking falling in love with you. The last thing I need is entering your home.

“It’s freezing outside. It’s snowing. Come in.” Castiel reaches out like he’s going to grab Dean and pull him into the house but then his hand freezes and he gasps, realizing he was about to touch a soldier. Something like that would get him flogged in the town square.

Not wanting to make him afraid that he’s pissed, Dean nods and steps into the house. “Sure. Thank you.”

Since his boots are on and he doesn’t feel like taking them off, and he’s not an asshole like Benny who’s going to track slush through the whole fucking house, he stays in the small mud room.

“I have coffee. Or cocoa?” Castiel says quietly, much more shy now that he almost got himself into a shit ton of trouble.

Sensing that the guy needs to do something, Dean smiles and says, “Cocoa would be nice. Thank you.”

“I’ll, uh-” the man looks around his house and Dean wonders if he’s worried about leaving him alone to snoop. He wonders what there is to find. There’s almost always something, if you look hard enough. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

Dean checks his watch, grimacing when he sees that they’re already two minutes behind their patrol schedule. They’ll have to make the time up somehow. At least it’s only an hour or so until his shift is over. Then he can collapse in his government house up on the hill, the same hill where the barracks and apartments of the lower ranking soldiers are, where all the soldiers can live and look down on the little people in district three, and watch some TV while he drinks a beer. Or maybe some whiskey. Being near Castiel is making him need some whiskey.

When Benny returns, he gives Dean a strange look but says nothing about the fact that he entered the house. Dean very rarely does that. Only in emergencies.

“Ready, Winchester?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, wait!” Castiel hurries toward them with a travel mug of hot chocolate. “Sorry it took so long.”

Benny stares at the mug, then at Dean, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Hot chocolate. He made me some,” Dean tells him.

With a sharp nod, Benny glares at Castiel and asks, “Where’s mine?”

Castiel flinches and takes an instinctive step away from him. “Oh. I’m so sorry. I can make you some, sir. Just wait.”

“Don’t feel like waiting. It’s fine.”

All Dean has to say is a quiet, “Sergeant Laffitte,” and Benny is grumbling a “Thank you once again. Have a good night.”

Dean takes the coffee mug and promises to return it some time, a promise that makes Castiel’s eyes widen and his cheeks flush pink.

By the time Dean’s patrol shift is over, he’s nearly forgotten about Castiel all together. They dealt with a thief down at the bakery, a man who was caught beating his wife, and a little boy who threw rocks at his school building in protest of having to attend. The first one ended with the man getting his hand cut off. The second ended with a summons for flogging. The third ended in Benny and Dean trying damn hard not to laugh, because they’ve been there, and a stern scolding.

Dean gets inside his house and takes off his backpack, emptying it of his gear so he can clean and restock for the next day. That’s when he reaches in and grabs the silver travel mug he had stuffed in there once it was empty. He methodically brings it to the sink, washes it, and puts it back in his pack.

When he finally sits down with his whiskey and turns the TV on, he’s exhausted and jittery at the same time. It was the first time he got to interact with Castiel in a private setting like that. If Benny hadn’t been with him, he could have lingered. Drank the cocoa with him. Listened to his soft, grumbly voice. Kissed him.

Dean growls at himself and switches the channel to the capital’s new station specifically designated for news about The Broken- a term he hates, but prefers over The Fags as some still call them. An anchor is talking about the newest members to the games; a young man aged 21 from the seventh district and his lover, a man of 28 who was his neighbor. It shows them in chains being walked to the capitol building. People are throwing stones at them. Food. Shit. All Dean can focus on is how they’re almost within touching distance of each other. He watches as they keep giving each other looks. The younger one is hit in the head with a stone and nearly falls over, a soldier yanking him to his feet. Blood pours down the side of his face. His lover cocks his head and gives him a tight, comforting smile so full of love and comfort and meaning that Dean’s chest aches. Even now, as their world falls apart, as they’re sentenced to a month of torture before an almost certain death in the games, they can’t get themselves to stop loving each other.

What terrifies Dean is that for the first time in his life, watching this channel doesn’t make his urges stop. Instead, it makes him want to go to Castiel’s right now and kiss the hell out of him. What’s the point of living life anyway if it means you’ll never experience love like the men on the screen?

-------

Castiel has been watching Colonel Winchester since he was assigned to district three. The first time he saw the man, his breath literally caught in his throat. Two hours later, the Colonel was whipping a guy bloody, establishing his new reign over the district. The man being flogged was a gender traitor - a man who believed he was a woman, and dressed like one. After he was whipped by the Colonel, he was sent to the capital. He died a week later in the games.

Castiel spent months trying to convince himself to hate Colonel Winchester. He hasn’t seen him do anything like that since, which almost makes things worse in a way. It would be easier to hate the man if he had to watch him do those terrible things every day. Instead, though, Colonel Winchester is the guy behind the scenes. The one who decides what happens to who and when and where. Still worthy of hate, but harder to summon inside Castiel.

Then, last week, Castiel saw the Colonel catch two little boys kissing. Castiel had been out picking berries near the fishing hole when he saw the boys. Before he could tell the boys to stop that and be more careful, a noise to his right had him hiding behind a fallen tree. He had watched as Colonel Winchester stood just feet away from the boys, who were too busy to notice someone watching them from the edge of the trees. It had taken everything in him not to shout for the boys to run so they could maybe have a chance to be saved.

But then the Colonel had turned his back to the boys and walked away like he saw nothing. The weirdest part? He was smiling to himself. It made Castiel both afraid and thrilled. He was flooded with a million questions. The moment Colonel Winchester stepped into his house yesterday, he wanted to attack him with question after question. It took everything he had to stay quiet.

Castiel’s surprised he even survived the day without getting himself killed in the factory, since his mind was so distracted by finally getting a chance to see the Colonel up close. He was even more beautiful than he was from afar. He has freckles. Thousands of individual freckles. And his eyes are green. From a distance, they seemed hazel, but up close they’re a brilliant green.

And there was a desire in the way he looked at Castiel. A desire he wanted to pursue more than anything.

God, you’re such a fucking idiot, Castiel. He’d murder you if you ever pursued him. He’d get your ass thrown in the games - or worse.

A knock on Castiel’s door distracts him from his worried thoughts. Knowing it’s probably Martha, the old lady that lives next door and is constantly asking him for one thing or another to borrow, he doesn’t bother to make himself presentable. He’s just gotten out of the shower, so he swaggers to the door in nothing but his soft gray sweatpants, avoiding putting a blue shirt on for as long as possible. He’s fucking sick of that color. Sick of being told what has to be on his torso. He hates his own eyes, can’t even look in the mirror anymore, because they're blue.

With a friendly smile, he opens the door and prepares himself for Martha. The last thing he expected to find was Colonel Winchester standing in his doorway. In his casual uniform, the one he wears around the district when not actively patrolling, holding Castiel’s travel mug. Castiel gasps and steps back, wrapping his arms around his torso.

“I’m so sorry. I was, uh- I was expecting someone else. Sorry.”

“Lady friend coming by?”

“No.” When the Colonel’s eyebrows raise, Castiel hurries, “I mean, not a guy either. No guy. I’m not - no guy. My neighbor. Martha. She’s the old lady. Always comin’ to bother me.”

Colonel Winchester smirks. “Calm down. Not an interrogation. Just came to bring this back to ya and say thanks.”

“Oh. Great. Yeah.”

“It was delicious.”

“Thanks. My mom’s recipe.” Castiel nibbles on his bottom lip. He’s trying not to stare at how gorgeous the man is, but he’s worried if he avoids looking at him too much then he’ll look suspicious. And like the idiot that he is, he finds himself making things much worse by saying, “Come in. I could make more.”

Colonel Winchester chuckles. “Actually, if you have some coffee, I’d kill for some. It’s been a long day.”

“Yeah. Of course. I can make some coffee.” Castiel moves out of the way, letting the Colonel walk in. He watches in amazement as the man removes his boots and his uniform jacket. Now, he’s just in plain black pants and a black shirt that hugs his muscles in all the right ways. There’s something about him being comfortable like that in Castiel’s house that makes Castiel shiver.

Trying to hide his shaking hands, Castiel shoves them into his pant pockets and leads Dean into the kitchen. “I’ll just start a pot. Then I can throw a shirt on quick.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Dean drawls.

“Oh.” Castiel fills the coffee pot with water, shaking harder now. Is he imagining the heat in Dean’s voice? The desire? Should he put the shirt on anyway? Is this a test? Does staying shirtless prove he’s gay?

He turns the coffee pot on and faces the Colonel. The man is leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. It makes his biceps bulge against the tight fabric of his shirt. Castiel wants to rip it to shreds and kiss every fucking inch of the exposed body beneath. He’s only ever had a love interest once; when he was seventeen. It lasted two months and they were awkward and clumsy and they got way too nervous and ended things before any real love developed between them. Still, though, it provided him with enough of a past to be able to picture a fairly detailed fantasy starring the Colonel.

Then Castiel sees the gun attached to the Colonel’s hip and remembers the danger. He licks his dry lips and meets the man’s eyes. The Colonel definitely knows what he was thinking. Definitely. He can see it in the way his green eyes have narrowed, his pink lips tilting into a smirk. Castiel tenses up.

“I - uh, you’re-” Castiel clenches his fists, trying hard not to whimper in fear. “Just looking at your - uh - your clothes. You look different - ya know - out of uniform.”

All the man does is chuckle softly. Castiel keeps rambling, trying to save his fucking life with every word. “I like girls. I have a girlfriend. Well, had. We broke up. But not because I’m gay! Just-”

“Castiel. Relax.” The Colonel walks forward until he’s only hovering an inch or two away from him. He reaches out and runs a hand along Castiel’s arm, watching intently to see his reaction. Castiel tries like hell but he can’t stop the shiver that rushes through his body, and the soft breath he exhales right after. “You haven’t had a girlfriend, have you, Castiel?”

“I would never lie to you, Colonel Winchester. I swear.”

“Dean. Please.” The man smiles, his hand skimming along Castiel’s bare arm again. “Call me Dean.”

“Dean.” Castiel closes his eyes, a tear leaking out of one. “I swear. Please. I’m not - I swear. Please. Don’t -”

“Don’t touch you? You really don’t want me to touch you?”

“Please,” Castiel chokes on a sob. “Please. I’m not gay, Sir. I swear.”

Lips close over his mouth and Castiel gasps. For a brief moment, he melts. Then his eyes shoot open. Dean’s eyes are closed, like he doesn’t know that Castiel is panicking. He tears his face away, crying even harder now. This is a sick game. He doesn’t like it one bit. “Please. You kissed me! You kissed me! I didn’t kiss you. Please. I’m not-”

“You are.” Dean wipes the tears from Castiel's cheek and tilts his head. “I am too.”

Castiel stares at him in pure confusion. “You’re what?”

“Gay.”

“But - you can’t - I mean - you’re a Colonel.”

“Yup. I think you know just as much as I do that it’s not exactly something you can turn on and off.”

Castiel wipes at his face with a rough hand and places his other hand on Dean’s chest, carefully pushing him away. “I want you to leave. Please.”

Dean’s eyes flash. “It’s okay, Castiel. You won’t get in trouble.”

“Leave. Now.”

He watches as Dean’s jaw ticks. His body begins to shake again and despite his best efforts, more tears leak from his eyes. When Dean looks at him, he can see pain and worry on the man’s face. “Cas, hey. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have - I’m sorry. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I swear.”

“Okay.” Dean backs away from him, his face bright red. “I apologize again, Castiel. Have a good night.”

“Yeah. Uh - good night.”

The second he hears his door close, Castiel slumps to the floor of his kitchen and begins to sob.

Either he proved that he is in fact gay, because Castiel’s pretty fucking sure he accidently kissed Dean back at first, and now Dean has evidence to report him, or he proved that he isn’t but Dean is gay, and now Castiel is a liability for knowing. Either scenario ends with Castiel in the games, or worse. No one will believe him if he says Dean came onto him. Why would they? Dean’s a fucking Colonel. He’s nothing.

He’s convinced he’ll wake up to the soldiers coming for him. He’ll wake up to Dean standing in the doorway, grinning. Maybe even laughing. Castiel cries himself to sleep, wrapped up in his favorite knitted sweater, shaking violently.

------

Fucking idiot. That’s what you are, Dean. A fucking idiot. Dean avoids Castiel’s house for a week, returning to his paperwork and his office. Hiding. He waits every day for the guy to report him. He has a strong feeling that Castiel wouldn’t. One, he really does think the young man is gay too, he just thinks he’s too paranoid to give into Dean. Two, he’s pretty sure his commanders would believe him over Castiel, which would get Castiel at least thrown into the games for treason, if not killed outright.

Still, he’s panicking.

Then Benny is fucking sick on Saturday and Dean has to do his patrol shift. He grits his teeth every time he walks by Castiel’s house, forcing himself not to look in that direction. Forcing himself to act as if nothing ever happened.

A snow storm begins just before midnight, when Chuck comes to relieve Dean. Dean shakes off some of the snow that’s accumulated on his shoulders and head and starts his trek back home. Usually he’d drive down to the district but he had wanted more time walking today. He needed it to think. As he walks the final time past Castiel’s house, a voice calls to him. He whips around at the sound of his first name to find Castiel standing on the sidewalk in nothing but a sweater and jeans.

Dean glances around before slowly walking toward him. “Mr. Novak?”

“Can you, uh, can you come inside, Colonel? I need to report a break in.”

It takes Dean a second, but then he catches on. “Of course. Lead the way.”

Castiel leads him inside, his eyes fixed on the rifle in his hands. Dean didn’t have it last time and he can tell that it’s making Castiel nervous. That’s why, even though it’s pretty much rule number fucking one, Dean puts his rifle down right away. Then he takes off his boots and shrugs out of his uniform jacket. It feels good to take off the heavy, armored jacket.

When he looks at Castiel, he shakes his head in disapproval. The boys cheeks and nose are bright pink from the cold and he’s shivering hard enough to make his teeth clatter. “You should have had a jacket on,” Dean scolds.

“I saw you coming and hurried out.”

“How’d you know my shift was over?”

Castiel looks away. “You were moving in the opposite direction, meaning you were headed home instead of patrolling.”

A fluttery feeling warms the center of Dean’s stomach at the idea that Castiel pays that much attention to him. “Did you really have a break in, Castiel?”

“No.” Castiel steps closer to him, looking up at him through his lashes. “Are you really gay, Dean?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Castiel lifts himself up on his toes and grabs Dean’s face, kissing him hard. For a few seconds Dean allows him to do this before taking back the control. He crashes him into the nearest wall and immediately grabs his thighs, yanking him up so his legs wrap around his waist. He pins Castiel to the wall with his hips so he can use his hands to tug at his messy hair and kiss him even harder.

When he breaks for a gasp of air, he finds Castiel staring up at him with wide eyes full of wonder. “What?” Dean asks with a soft laugh.

“You.” Castiel cups his face. The way he holds him, like he’s fragile and beautiful, does something to Dean’s chest that he both hates and loves. “This is bad. We could get in trouble.”

“Yes. We could.” Dean presses a single kiss to Castiel’s lips before whispering. “So worth it.”

Even though they’re talking about the possibility of death, or even worse, Castiel finds himself nodding in agreement, breathlessly saying, “Yeah. Worth it.”

-----

Castiel paces in front of his door a week after their first kiss. Dean’s come over every night that week, usually around two or three in the morning, when no one would be paying attention. It means that Castiel is exhausted every day at work but he doesn’t care in the least. They’ve kissed so much he feels like his lips permanently belong to Dean Winchester, and he’s hoping like hell that tonight they do more.

Even though it’s just after two, Castiel has food in the oven and candles lit and a bottle of wine out. When he hears the knock on his door, he’s nearly giddy. It takes a lot of self control not to tackle Dean the moment the door opens.

“Hey you,” Dean whispers in a low voice as he pushes inside. He’s in faded blue jeans and a hooded sweatshirt with a leather jacket over it. Castiel has decided that he loves this version of Dean most. The comfortable, attractive, kind man who can make him laugh so hard it hurts. Who makes him feel special.

“Hey.” Castiel wraps his arms around Dean’s neck and gets on his toes to reach his lips. They kiss long and slow, like it’s been more than a day since they last saw each other. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, blue eyes.”

Castiel rolls those eyes of his and huffs, “I hate my eyes.”

“I know. But I love them.” Dean reaches into his back pocket with a grin. “Speaking of, though, I have a present for you.”

“A present?”

“Yup.” Dean pulls out a shirt and shakes it out so Castiel can see the whole thing hanging from his hands. It’s a maroon colored shirt with long sleeves. When Dean hands it to him, he feels the fabric and can’t stop himself from smiling. It’s soft. Incredibly soft. And faded, like Dean’s worn it often. “It’ll be big on you, since you’re all tiny and cute and short, but it should be comfortable. And, well, it’s not blue. Figured you might appreciate that.”

Castiel gulps, tears burning his eyes. “Dean. You can’t - this can’t -”

“I know when the raids are going to be on houses, Cas. I’m the one that plans them. I’ll make sure to take it back before the next one happens for you. You won’t get caught with it, I promise. Keep it.”

Clenching the fabric in his hands, Castiel grins up at him, nearly bouncing on his damn feet. “I love it. I love it so much Dean. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He pulls him in close and presses a gentle kiss to his lips. “Do I smell food?”

“I made you pie. It should be ready to take out, actually.”

“Fuck yeah. Is it apple?”

Castiel laughs. He knows that’s Dean’s favorite. He told Castiel all about his childhood and his mom’s cooking, especially her apple pie. There’s no way Castiel’s food is as good as hers but it’ll hopefully be good enough.

Dean pauses when they get into the kitchen, squeezing Castiel’s hand he’s holding. “Wine?”

“Uh, yeah.” Castiel clears his throat, unsure how Dean will feel about that. “My dad kept a few bottles hidden when the initial raids happened. Before the big war.”

“Cas, don’t waste one of those on me.”

“It isn’t a waste. I was,” Castiel pauses, nervously fiddling with the shirt in his hands. “I was hoping tonight could be special.”

“Special?”

“Well, you don’t work tomorrow, and neither do I. I thought, maybe, you could,” Castiel gulps. “Spend the night?”

Dean’s eyebrows raise as high as possible. “No.”

“But-”

“I’ll stay longer if you want, and we can do whatever you want, but not that. I can’t stay here.”

Since he knew that was a long shot, Castiel drops it. “Okay, then. Let’s just eat.”

-----

Dean rolls Castiel onto his back, kissing him with a nice open mouth, running his tongue along the interior of it. He tastes like pie. Fucking delicious. He pulls away long enough to tear Castiel’s shirt over his head. Then his own. Castiel drags his nails down his back, making Dean groan, then shiver.

They both tense when Castiel’s fingers skim the cold metal of the gun tucked into the back of Dean’s jeans. He doesn’t bring his rifle when he’s off duty like this, but he always brings his pistol. Castiel’s seen it once or twice in flashes but he’s never touched it.

“Sorry,” Castiel whispers, drawing his hand away.

“No, I’m sorry. Shoulda taken it off.” Dean reaches back, pulling the gun out and placing it on the coffee table, the muzzle pointing in the opposite direction of them.

Castiel can’t stop staring at the gun while Dean kisses his way down his neck and chest. He wonders how many people Dean has killed with it, or with any other gun. And how many more Dean has sentenced to death, to be killed by someone else with Dean’s name stamped on it with approval.

“We should go upstairs,” Castiel whispers, still staring at the gun.

“What?”

“Upstairs. Bed.”

Dean shakes his head, starting to get off him. “No, Castiel. I said no sleep overs.”

“Not to sleep, idiot.” Castiel gets up too and grabs his hand, practically yanking him toward the stairs. “I’m tired of just kissing.”

All the blood in Dean’s body runs south. “Yes. Good. Let’s go.”

They practically tumble into the bed together. The last of their clothes comes off in a frantic need to feel skin against skin. Dean shudders the moment they’re down to just boxers, moving his hips in a slow circle, desperate to feel his hard cock against his without all the fabric in the way.

“Have you ever?” Dean asks, shaking hands holding him up so he doesn’t put too much weight on Castiel.

“No.” Castiel nibbles his bottom lip. “I’ve done other stuff, but not that.”

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Oh, I want to. Have,” Castiel looks away, blushing. “Have you?”

Dean leans more weight on one hand so he can lift the other, grabbing Castiel’s face and turning it so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. “Yes. With woman. I’ve watched porn, though. Think I can figure it out.”

Castiel’s eyes go as wide as saucers. “How did you find gay porn?”

Laughing, Dean winks at him. “We find some in raids every once in a while. If I get a chance, I swipe it. Take it home.”

“Holy crap. I wanna see some!”

“Psssh, trust me, I’ll be even better. Let me show you.”

Nodding, Castiel relaxes again. Dean pulls a condom and a mini bottle of lube out of his back pocket. He goes slow, kissing Castiel breathless while he preps him. By the time his cock is sinking into Castiel, they're both already on the edge.

“Fuck you feel good,” Dean whispers.

“Better than the girls you've been with?”

“Much better.” Dean presses a kiss to his lips, then smiles down at him. “You're the real thing, so it's perfect.”

With a shiver, Castiel grabs his face and kisses him again. And again. And again. As the kiss heats up, becoming a flurry of lips and teeth and tongues, Dean's hips move faster and harder. When he feels himself getting close, he wraps a calloused hand around Castiel's cock and starts to pump it in time with his thrusts.

Castiel's back bows off the bed as he comes without meaning to. It feels like Dean tore it from him. A few seconds later, Dean is finishing too.

Dean cleans them up enough for now, then grabs Castiel and holds him to his chest. They lay in a sweaty, breathless heap for a long time. The silence is comfortable at first but Castiel's mind starts to spin, and then the quiet is suffocating.

When Dean leans down at one point to kiss him, Castiel stops him by turning his face away. He can feel his cheeks heating up because he hates feeling vulnerable, but he also needs to protect his heart. This is something he can be killed for. Stoned in the streets. Publicly flogged. Put into the games. He doesn’t know if Dean would get an easier punishment because of his government position, or a harsher one to make an example out of him, but either way, this isn’t something to take lightly.

“I love you, Dean,” he admits on a choked breath.

Taking a chance, he looks up at Dean through his lashes. Instead of tensing or panicking like Castiel expected, Dean gives him a slow smile and whispers, “I love you too, Castiel.”

“Really?”

“Really. Very much so.”

“Good.” Castiel takes in a deep, shaking breath and braces himself. Somehow, he’s more nervous for this than he was for admitting his love. “Spend the night with me.. Just one night.”

That’s when the tensing and panicking begins. Dean’s eyes skate away, looking over at the wall. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“You know why not.”

“You can still leave before sunrise. We can set an alarm.”

Dean scoffs. “Sunrise is in like two hours, Cas.”

“Then a different night. Come earlier than you usually do and spend the night. Just one night with me, Dean. That’s all I’m asking.”

“It’s not, though. Because once I do that, you’ll ask again. And again. And I won’t be able to say no because you’re like my fucking weakness. Then one lazy mistake from getting too comfortable and we’re both dead. Or worse.”

“Then we should just end this. Call it off. If it’s not going anywhere, then what’s the point? The longer we keep doing this, we keep pretending, the more it’ll hurt when it’s over.”

Dean gets to his feet and begins to pace, scratching the back of his head. “So, what? This is an ultimatum? I spend the night tonight or we’re done?”

Wiping his tears, Castiel sits up and curls in on himself. “No ultimatum. It’s already over. I want this to be over. I want you to leave.”

“Cas.”

“Please.”

Dean stands in place, staring at him in disbelief. He does this for a full minute while Castiel sits in the same spot and falls apart. When Castiel releases his first sob, Dean swears under his breath. He storms downstairs, Castiel following behind even though it hurts worse to actually watch Dean leaving. Dean grabs his pistol and shoves it into the waistband of his jeans, then yanks his shirt on. He gives Castiel one more look before shaking his head and leaving.

The sharp thud of the door closing echoes inside Castiel’s empty chest. He grabs the shirt Dean brought him as a gift and hurries to pull it over his body instead of the blue one he was wearing before. He locks the doors, shuts the lights off, and crawls into his bed beneath the blankets. He starts to cry again when he realizes the shirt smells like Dean; like he wore it before giving it to Castiel.

How was he going to survive without Dean? What was the point?

-----

Dean survives nine days without Castiel. He never patrols. He never goes out into the public. He never leaves his home. He pushes paperwork and answers calls and sentences three people to a public flogging without ever even seeing their faces or hearing their sides of the story. He hates himself every second. He hates this society. He hates the government. He hates his job. He hates his soldiers. He hates Benny. He hates himself some more.

He hates himself so fucking much.

On day ten, he sneaks out of his house just after midnight. He takes the back way into the district to avoid being spotted. He knows everyone’s patrol routes and where all the cameras are, so as long as everyone is doing their job properly, he won’t get caught.

His entire body is violently shaking by the time he’s at Castiel’s door. It’s locked. He pulls out his ring of keys and grabs the master key to the district. Every door in this entire district, even private homes, can be unlocked with this key. Only Dean and the President of Panem has it. It’s an extreme abuse of power to let himself into Castiel’s house, but he’s so far gone it doesn’t matter. All he knows is he has to see him. Now.

The lights are off but he finds Castiel still awake, tucked into the corner of the couch with Dean’s baggy maroon shirt on. He stares at the blank TV like there’s actually something playing on the screen.

Dean clears his throat, letting Castiel know he’s not alone. The man slightly perks up and looks over the back of the couch at Dean. His eyes widen but he says nothing.

That’s okay. Dean has his speech planned.

“I’m an idiot for ever even considering a life without you. I shouldn’t have left that night, and I’m not leaving tonight. We’re going to figure out how to do this. I don’t care if I have to start a fucking revolution for you. I don’t care if we have to run away. Live in hiding. Me and you, together, is all I want. It’s the most alive I’ve ever felt.”

“Dean-”

“There was this couple one day, when this first started with us. I watched them on TV as they were marched to the capital. Even with everything being thrown and screamed at them, even though they knew they were literally marching to their death, they were still so in love. You could see it in the way they looked at each other. Like they’d rather be there together than somewhere else alone. It was a nice concept at the time I watched it. Something that made me smile. Something that made me wonder. But now, I understand”

“Dean-”

“If you me want to go, I’ll go. I’ll never hold my power over you. I swear it. When it comes to us, we’re on equal ground. But you’ll have to tell me to go, because I’m never leaving on my own again. I’m never leaving you. I love you, Castiel. I love you so fucking much. So, if you’ll allow it, I want to be with you.”

Castiel can’t get off the couch fast enough. He launches himself at Dean, wrapping his arms and legs around him, clinging like a damn spider monkey. He buries his face in the crook of his neck and drags his lips along the curve. “I’ve missed you so much. I love you.”

“I missed you too,” Dean whispers against his temple. “God, I love you.”

“Spend the night with me.. Just one night,” Castiel pleads, afraid of the answer despite Dean’s speech.

Pulling away to look Castiel in the eyes, Dean shakes his head. “Not just one night, Cas. As often as possible.”

[revwinchester]

Someone Like You

Summary: Dean and Castiel meet on a dating app and after sharing conversation for a few days, they decide to meet up in person but things don’t go the way either of them thought they would.  

Pairing: Destiel

Word Count: 3593

Rating: Teen and Up Warnings: mentions of gay stereotypes, mentions of sexting, mentions of explicit photographs, mentions of large age gaps in relationships, like one curse word

A/N: This is for two challenges!  And it has an alternate ending that really didn’t fit the tone of the fic but I wrote it as a joke and it might end up being the start of a new, different fic because it’s too good to pass up.  Anyhow, the format is a little different at the beginning with a bunch of POV shifts but I think it makes sense… every time there’s a new message on the dating app, the POV shifts.  I stole the title from an Adele song.

Written for @spnaubingo; square filled - internet dating Written for @spnfluffbingo; square filled - mistaken identity

Someone Like You - 

IMALA67: Hey ;)

The binging of his alert tone pulled Cas from his thoughts and he felt his lips break into a smile when he saw the name on his phone.  Impala wasn’t like any guy he’d talked to before, especially on Grindr, and that thought alone made Cas smile even wider.  He had been about to delete the app when Impala’s first message came through.  He wasn’t the kind of guy Cas would usually talk to but he had figured there was no harm in chatting; he’d just delete the app after.  That had been a week ago and the app was still on Castiel’s phone and he was still talking with Impala.  

Cas tended to stick closer to his age range but, then again, if the torso in Impala’s profile picture was actually him, the man was in great shape for 50 and it wasn’t like the dating pool was going to grow if Cas didn’t widen his search.  Honestly, Impala seemed different from all of the other guys on Grindr.  For one, he used the year he was born in his username.  He also hadn’t opened with an explicit pick up line or a picture of his genitals; he hadn’t even tried to get in Castiel’s pants the first time they talked, or any time after for that matter.  Sure, they were flirting and joking with one another but it really felt like they were getting to know each other.  Cas was even starting to think that he might like to meet Impala in person.

ANGELBOI: Hello

Dean shook his head fondly at AB’s formal response.  That’s not how people talked on this app but it seemed to fit the kid.  Dean snorted at his thoughts… kid… What was Dean even doing talking to someone who went by AngelBoi?  A username like that belonged to a 23 year old twink and, as best as Dean could tell, the app’s location service placed AB on or near the campus of the local university most of the time.  

AngelBoi had first showed up on Dean’s radar when he had been waiting for Sam to meet him for lunch.  AB’s picture had drawn Dean in, standing out in the sea of abs with an actual face shot or, at least, a partial photo of his face.  At the bottom of the photo, bright blue eyes looked up towards the sky and beautifully messy sex hair filled the middle of the frame.  Dean had tapped his way onto AB’s profile but it was pretty sparse.  Dean couldn’t complain, though, he hadn’t been exactly forthcoming with his own information, either.

He had reached out to the kid on a whim, Grindr claiming that he was a half mile away.  He didn’t have the time - or even the desire, really - for a hookup but something about the guy made him want to say hi.  So he did and the fifteen minutes that he was waiting for his brother to show up flew by.  

IMPALA67: What are you up to?

Cas stared at his phone.  This was new.  Usually he and Impala engaged in witty and flirty banter but there was never any discussion of what the other was doing at the time.  Cas weighed his options.  He could ignore the question entirely but that didn’t feel right.  He could answer truthfully or give a cheeky response, either of which could lead to sexting which, he supposed, wouldn’t be the end of the world, he had just always seen Impala as being different from the other guys on Grindr.  It could also be that Impala was actually curious about Castiel’s life but, if he was going to delete the app - which he still fully intended to do - how much did he want to share with a virtual stranger?  Cas contemplated his options for another moment and then tapped out his reply.  If his brother ever found out about this, Cas knew he’d never hear the end of it.

ANGELBOI: I was just finishing up some work on a paper.

Dean groaned at AB’s response.  Up until now it had been an assumption that he was talking to a college kid, nothing more than an educated guess, but the man’s response had just confirmed it for him.  He thought about backing down, changing his plan but when he really considered that notion, it left him feeling empty and shallow.  If AB didn’t mind talking to someone his age, why should Dean care?  Hell, half of his friends would be jealous that Dean had landed a hot young thing.  Dean chuckled to himself as he imagined the ribbing he’d get from Benny about it. The guy would try to cover up his jealousy with jokes about Dean being a cradle robber but the man had a type and “hot college twink” was definitely it.

IMPALA67: Finishing up?  So you’d be free to grab a coffee or something?  

A slow smile spread across Castiel’s face.  Impala had managed to surprise him yet again.  Where Cas had been expecting explicit messages, Impala had asked for what seemed like an actual date.  Granted, the “or something” left the door open for innuendo but given what he had learned about the man on the other end of the chat, the something was more likely a beer than a blow job.  

Cas didn’t think twice before he answered this time.  No matter how old he was, he and Impala had formed a connection through their conversations and Cas had been thinking about asking him out himself.  The older man had just beat him to the punch.

ANGELBOI: I would like that.  Do you know where Sweets is?

AB’s response came so quickly that Dean had assumed he had gotten turned down at first.  But after reading the man’s words, he jumped up and headed to his room, looking down at himself.  He hadn’t really thought this plan through.  His original agenda for the day was to chill at home, play video games, and catch up on Dr. Sexy and he was still in his sweats and t-shirt from when he had gone out to bring in the garbage can in from the curb that morning.  Now, suddenly, he found himself with a date and he needed to get ready fast.  

He looked through his closet quickly, happy to find his favorite shirt was clean and then studied his face in the mirror.  He had about a day’s worth of stubble and, while he often kept himself clean shaven, Dean liked the way a little bit of growth made him look so he decided to keep it.  Besides, it would cut down on how long he needed to get ready.

IMPALA67: That’s the place that serves soup and ice cream, right?  Yeah, I know it.  I’ll meet you there in 45 minutes?  Unless you’re one of those guys who needs a couple of hours with the bathroom mirror ;)

This was the tone Cas was used to reading from Impala.  He was playful and flirty and Cas only hoped that it would translate into real life, too.  He took a minute to look at his clothes. He was probably overdressed for a coffee date but he'd had two classes that day so he was wearing his suit and tie and Cas knew he looked good. The students that surrounded him on a daily basis might love in sweatpants but that had never been Castiel's way of dressing. Impala's proposed timeline would be more than enough for Cas.

Cas felt practically giddy. He hadn't been this excited for a date in a long time. He tried to not get his hopes up too high, though. Cas wanted to see whether there was something between them and dating someone older definitely didn't have the same stigma in the gay community that it did in straight relationships but Impala could still take one look at Cas and decide it wasn't something he wanted to deal with. He did think Impala would walk out on him, he didn't seem the type but Cas didn't actually know the man yet, not really anyway.

ANGELBOI: 45 minutes is great. It just so happens that I shaved my legs yesterday. But I'm a classy lady and I don't put out on the first date anyway.

ANGELBOI: On a serious note, I'll be wearing a tan overcoat that my brother loves to make fun of. But I like it and it's a good way to tell me apart from everyone else in the shop.

Laughter bubbled from Dean's lips at AB’s reply. He decided then and there that he didn't care how old the kid was. As long as he was legal and didn't mind dating an older guy, Dean was definitely interested in seeing where this could go.

IMPALA67: Sounds good, Angel. I'll be in my favorite red button down

IMPALA67: By the way, the name's Dean

Dean. Cas didn't know why but he felt like it for the man. The name felt younger than the man's 50 years, as did his sense of humor.

ANGELBOI: Castiel. I'll see you soon, Dean.

This was happening. Dean was going to meet AngelB… Castiel in less than an hour. He got ready quickly, his excitement getting the best of him as he dressed in a black undershirt with his red button down open over it. He looked damn fine if he said so himself.

Dean made it to the shop in 30 minutes from the time he and Castiel had agreed to go out.  He considered grabbing a coffee but decided to wait for his date to arrive and sat down at a table instead, making sure he had a clear view of the door.  Sweets wasn’t too busy and Dean was content to people watch while he waited.  The shop wasn’t too far from the college campus and a couple of students were scattered around studying, a stark reminder for Dean as to what he was getting himself into with Castiel.  He wondered what the man studied and if he’d find Dean interesting enough.  About ten minutes after he arrived, Dean caught the flourish of a long tan coat through the window but when the door opened, the person who stepped into Sweets was closer to his age and dressed in a suit and tie.  Out of the corner of his eye, Dean watched the handsome stranger find a table of his own across the room from where he was seated before he turned his attention back to the door.

The final five minutes passed slowly and Dean had thought they were the longest five minutes of his life.  At least until the next five minutes passed and Castiel still hadn’t shown up.  The five minutes after that seemed to drag on even longer as Dean began to worry that he had been stood up.  “Some people just run late,” Dean muttered to himself as he checked his messages on Grindr for the sixth time, hoping to see something from his date but still only finding Castiel’s promise that he’d see Dean soon.

NO NEW MESSAGES

Cas read through the messages he had exchanged with Dean for what felt like the hundredth time.  Dean had been the one to suggest 45 minutes and now he was the one who was, Castiel checked his watch, 15 minutes late.  That meant that Cas had been waiting at Sweets for about 20 minutes, now.  He’d been excited to meet Dean and had left his apartment with plenty of time to arrive at the shop, considering it was a short walk from his building.  Now, though, he just felt like an idiot.  

He had arrived and grabbed a table to share with Dean.  It was against the far wall of the shop, away from the prying eyes of any of his students who might be working on some of their course work, but still in a spot where he could see the door.  He had scanned the room as he sat, wondering if perhaps Dean had been as over eager as he had been but he didn’t see anyone matching Dean’s description.  There was a man in a red button up shirt sitting across the shop but he was far too young to have been born in 1967.

Cas checked his watch again and sighed, resigned to the fact that he had been stood up.  He considered sending a message to Dean but what was the point, really?  Castiel would rather be ghosted with dignity.  He left his table and approached the barista, ordering a chai latte to drink on his walk home.

As he stood waiting for his drink, the man who had been seated across the shop also decided to order.  Cas caught a glimpse of beautiful green eyes and wished that he had been here to meet this man.  The man finished his order and came to stand beside Cas while they both waited.

“Large chai latte for Castiel!” One of the baristas called out, placing the drink on the counter.  

Cas grabbed his latte and turned to leave but the man beside him reached out and grabbed his free arm.  

“You’re Castiel?” he asked dumbfounded.

Cas nodded at the stranger, confusion coloring his features.  

The man released his arm and held out his hand to shake Castiel’s.  “I’m Dean and you are… not what I expected.”

Cas nearly dropped his drink.  He wasn’t sure how he should take Dean’s comment but, then again, Dean wasn’t at all what Cas had expected, either.  “Oh, uh,” Cas replied, ever the eloquent linguist.  “Hello, Dean,” came his attempted recovery.  At least it was real words this time.

Dean let out a little laugh.  He picked up his own drink from the counter and gestured towards the table Cas had chosen.  “You, uh, you want to sit down?” he asked, his voice uncertain.

Castiel led the way to his table, trusting Dean to follow.  The conversation began a bit stilted and awkward but that was to be expected, seeing as how they had nearly been a CraigsList missed connection ad.  Eventually, though, they both loosened up and Cas could tell that Dean was enjoying himself just as much as he was.  They chatted for about a half an hour before there was a lull in the conversation and Cas asked, “What did you mean when you said I wasn’t what you were expecting?”

Dean looked down at the table and a blush colored his cheeks.  “Honestly?” Dean started, saying the word like it was a question.  “Based on your username and the fact that I figured you were on the university campus, I assumed you were some twinky college kid.  I wouldn’t usually rob the cradle like that but, I don’t know, there was just something about you that made me not care.  But, now that you’ve brought it up, what the hell kind of username is AngelBoi for a 30-something year old man?”

Dean laughed at his own question, a beautiful full body laugh, and Castiel couldn’t help but join in.  “My older brother Gabriel signed me up for Grindr without informing me at first,” he explained.  “He used it to set me up on dates that never ended particularly well for a while.  I finally gave in and started using the service myself about a year ago but I never got around to changing the name he had picked.  You’re not wrong about the university part, though,” Cas confessed, “I do spend most of my time there.  I’m a professor in the religion department.”  

Cas paused for a moment to consider his next move.  Dean was smiling and laughing and he liked seeing the man like that.  “You know what they say when you assume…” Cas goaded.

Dean sobered up a little at Castiel’s words.  He looked Cas right in the eye as he responded.  “Yeah, you nearly miss out on a date with the most attractive man you’ve seen in your life.”

Cas stared at Dean for a moment, his head tilted to the side in thought.  “That’s not how the saying goes, Dean,” he replied, a small smile playing on his lips, “but I suppose in this instance, you are not wrong.  I made some wrong assumptions about you, too, and I would have never known what I was missing out on if I hadn’t decided to get a drink for the journey home.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned in with a sexy smirk on his face.  “I told you what I had thought about you, it’s your turn now, Angel.  I showed you mine, it’s only fair if you show me yours.”  He knew he was laying it on a little thick but Dean still finished with a wink.  He liked Cas and wanted to get him a little riled up or, at least, flustered.  And it seemed like his words had done the trick.

Cas licked his lips before he responded, his eyes drifting down dean’s face to look at his mouth before they darted back up and he began speaking.  “Impala67.  I assumed you were born in 1967, that you were 50…”

Dean burst out laughing at Castiel’s confession.  “What? Dude, that’s my car.  She’s a 1967 Chevy Impala and she is my baby.”

Dean’s laughter was infectious and Cas found himself joining in, even though he didn’t really know what the man was saying besides that he loved his car.  

As he caught his breath, Dean poked fun at Cas.  “You really thought I was 50?  And you were cool with that?  You must be past your prime, then, if you’re willing to date that much older...” he joked, his smile letting Cas know that he was kidding.  Dean reached across the table and took one of Castiel’s hands in his as he spoke.  “You think you can keep up with a 39 year old, grandpa?”

Cas snorted at Dean’s words.  “You were the one who was ready to be a sugar daddy to some poor college kid when you walked in here,” he reminded Dean.

“And you were the one coming in looking for a sugar daddy,” Dean shot back, his eyes lighting up with laughter.  He was clearly enjoying himself as the pair continued to banter back and forth easily for the next couple of minutes.  They were so caught up in their flirting that neither of the men noticed the darkening sky as the day turned to night.  They were finally pulled out of their little bubble when Castiel’s phone rang.  

Cas looked down at the object as if the noise it was making had offended him in some way.  “It’s my brother,” Cas explained, “he doesn’t usually call unless it’s an emergency.  I should answer.”  He waited for Dean to nod encouragingly before he swiped his finger across the phone, accepting the call.  “Gabriel, what’s wrong?” Cas asked into the receiver as Dean grabbed his free hand and gave it a squeeze.  

Gabriel was practically shouting into the phone and Cas was sure Dean could hear every word.  “Cassie?  Are you ok?  Where are you?”

Castiel furrowed his brow in confusion.  “Gabriel, I’m fine.  I’m on a…” he let his voice trail off, not wanting to tell his brother he was on a date just yet, he’d never hear the end of it.  “Why are you calling?”

“You were supposed to be at my house for dinner an hour ago, Cas.”

Cas watched as Dean smirked at him.  He pulled his phone down from his ear to look at the clock.  Sure enough, it was well past the time he was supposed to meet his brother for dinner.  “I’m so sorry, Gabriel, I lost track of time,” he the man on the other end of the line as he looked up at Dean who was still smiling slyly at him, “and I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tonight.”

“WHAT?” Gabriel squawked.  “But you’re supposed to meet…”

Castiel’s eyes widened when he remembered the reason Gabriel had set up this dinner.  “Gabriel, you really need to stop trying to play matchmaker for me.  I’m doing just fine on my own,” he said, giving Dean’s hand a squeeze.  

Dean was shaking with silent laughter as he listened to Gabriel chatter through the phone about Castiel’s dismal record with actually going on dates.  Cas was trying to break into Gabriel’s rant but wasn’t finding much success.  Every time Castiel would try to speak up in his own defense, Gabriel would talk over him and remind him of a potential date gone wrong.  Eventually Dean took some pity on the man and plucked the phone from his fingers.  

“Gabriel?  Yeah, this is Dean.  You don’t know me and I’m not at all sorry for distracting your brother but he’s really not going to make it to dinner tonight and if things go the way I hope they do, you’re definitely going to need to stop setting him up with people.”   Dean hung up Castiel’s phone with a flourish and passed it back to the man sitting across the table from him.  “All that talk about dinner has me hungry.  You want to join me?” Dean asked, “or should I call up your brother and let him know you’re going to make it to dinner at his place after all?”

Dean stood and held out a hand to Castiel, which he gladly took, and the pair walked out of Sweets and into the night together.

ALL THE TAGS! (forevers): @deathtonormalcy56 @supernaturalyobsessed @roxy-davenport @sumara62 @ginamsmith @gallifreyansass @samwinjarpad @hexparker @thinkwritexpress-official @atc74 @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now

Destiel Tags from @mrswhozeewhatsis: @mrswhozeewhatsis @thinkwritexpress-official @deandoesthingstome @manawhaat @thegleegeneration @SinceriouslyAmellPadalecki @ferferelli @fangirling-instead-of-working @chrisatplay @faith-in-dean @mamaimpala @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @curliesallovertheplace @skybinx-blog @purgatoan @impossible-box @deansleather @faegal04 @sunriserose1023 @dr-dean @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @saving-things-hunting-family @jotink78 @i-dont-know-how-to-write @notnaturalanahi @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave @mysaintsasinner @besslincoln-bruh @shelovesallthethings @klaineaholic @bohowitch @rockhoochie

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #222 - Ghostbusters (2016)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes, #437.

Format: Blu-ray

Disclaimer: In a perfect world I would not have to write this, but the world is not perfect so here it goes. If anyone replies or adds a comment to this post (via reblog) that is hateful or misogynistic, you are getting blocked and reported. There’s a difference between NEGATIVE opinions (ie: “This movie isn’t funny.”) and HATEFUL opinions: (ie: “Women aren’t funny.”). Also, no racist comments about Leslie Jones either. Now that we’ve established that...

1) The prologue at Aldridge Mansion.

I have mixed feeling about the prologue. It is not the BEST representation of the film’s humor so in that aspect it is not the best foot forward to start on. However, it does establish the film’s spooky tone well. There is a genuine sense of macabre-ness to when the ghost-stuff starts happening, which is where the film excels. I think this movie is very funny, but just not in this scene.

2) Kristen Wiig as Erin Gilbert

I think Erin is the main character of this film. She’s the protagonist. Yes, the team of four Ghostbusters is great, but it is Erin who goes on a wonderful journal throughout the film. She starts out trying to keep an aspect of herself - the ghost focused aspect - down, but when her beliefs are confirmed later in the film she is just ecstatic. Erin as developed as a character as the film goes on and on, with important character details revealed throughout. Erin is also the character who strives most for recognition out of the team. Abby is more concerned about being able to do the work but it is Erin who is fighting for the recognition she and her team deserve.

Wiig is incredibly charming in the part. She makes Erin wonderfully dorky and plays the insecurity well against growing self worth. Each of the four Ghostbusters in this film are master comedians who blend acting chops with humor beautifully and Wiig is no exception.

3) I’m a guy. I benefit from male privilege. Having said that I like the number of scenes in this film which (as I interpret them) take shots at the bullshit sexism that plagues western society.

Harold Filmore: “Oh, and about your clothes?”

Erin: “Yes?”

Erin: “Too sexy for academia?”

4) Even though Harold Ramis died before filming (even getting a dedication in the end credits), he still makes a cameo. Sort of.

5) I’m Benny.

Abby: “Erin.”

Erin: “Abby.”

Benny: “Benny.”

6) Melissa McCarthy as Abby Yates.

What makes Abby so interesting is that her character (and the way McCarthy performs her means she) is dripping with conflict. And I mean that as a good thing, because conflict is interesting. She’s not going to take shit from anyone. She sticks to her guns and is proud of her work, even when others seek to shame her because of it. Clearly dedicated to her science, McCarthy is great in the role. Able to give a multifaceted performance through Abby’s brashness, passion, eagerness, and relationship with Erin. The fact she calls a ghost, “beautiful,” is incredibly telling of her character. McCarthy (and I’m going to start sounding like a broken record by the time this post is over) MAKES the character. Watching her rekindle an old friendship with Erin is incredibly fun to watch because they ARE working past their differences. It even leads to the film’s climax, but more on that later.

7) Kate McKinnon as Holtzmann.

Kate McKinnon is the ULTIMATE scene stealer of this movie. She plays Holtzmann in an exaggerated way, with a wonderful amount of sheer bizarreness and energy. Also an element I call Kate-McKinnon-ness, which is basically a not so fancy way to say only McKinnon could play the part this way. Especially because she doesn’t make Holtzmann a joke herself. Sure, she’s funny and leads to most of the best humor in the film, BUT you understand she’s as intelligent as any of her contemporaries. She’s just able to be freaking hysterical too (much like Bill Murray in the original film).

8) This film has some early pacing problems early on. It takes a little while to get going, but once it does it REALLY gets going. It’s just…did we need TWO training sequences to show off the technology? Especially when the first one is so brief and the second one is SO funny?

9) There are few characters I have so immediately related to other than Jillian Holtzmann. This line is why:

10) The encounter with the Aldridge Ghost.

It is from this point moving forward that the film gets a handle on most of its pacing problems. This is the threshold. The rules are established to a degree: ghosts are real! The scene is incredibly interesting to watch not only because the spookiness of the ghost is handled well, but the way each Ghostbuster reacts/is fascinated by her brings in the audience’s interest. It’s a brief but powerful moment of both tension and fun.

11) In reference to the disclaimer above about misogynistic comments, this is what counts as a misogynistic comment.

Erin [reading a YouTube comment on their video]: “Ain’t no bitches gonna hunt no ghosts.”

12) Leslie Jones as Patty.

Patty is way stronger as a character than she could have been, something I greatly appreciate. Upon our first meeting with her the audience understands she’s not the cliché “I hate my job worker” while getting a early sense of her curiosity. Because that curiosity is defining for the character of Patty. She’s the history buff, meaning that she is in many ways equally intelligent as the other three Ghostbusters. Her intelligence just isn’t in science, so she brings a unique skill set to the team.

Patty: “You guys know a lot about this science stuff, but I know New York.”

I know New York could’ve easily equalled some cliche street smarts, but Patty is more than that. She’s more than a cliche and Leslie Jones plays her as such. The actress freaking shines in the part, being able to make Patty unique of all her performances INCLUDING her work on SNL. She’s still doing what she does strong with occasional big humor, but she’s able to play Patty as a character and not a sketch. That’s not a skill all comedians are able to master, but Leslie Jones proves that there is not a weak leak in this quartet of heroes.

13) Rowan.

Ugh, a whiny fuckboi who thinks he’s better than everyone else because he got shit as a kid. What a perfectly hatable villain. They even observe later in the film that the four heroes, “get shit on pretty much all the time.” So yeah, it’s easy to root against that guy.

14) I like that the film puts the team in a Chinese restaurant instead of the firehouse right away.

The struggle these character have in getting recognized is much more important than the first film. Yes it was there, but the guys were more easily bale to shrug it off than these women can. The first team didn’t really care about being respected or treated well, they just did their shit. With this team it is a greater struggle because they know they DESERVE the recognition and won’t just get it handed to them for doing a good job. They have to fight for it. My personal interpretation of that its almost representative of how guys just get recognized because of male privilege but women have to fight for what they deserve more (but again, privileged white dude, I could just be mansplaining here).

15) Chris Hemsworth as Kevin.

Kevin is in this film for two reasons: to be in danger and to look pretty. You know, like most women throughout the history of big blockbuster movies. But the difference is the film KNOWS that. They’re making that joke on purpose, which means they’re able to make Kevin completely freaking hysterical. They juice him for every bit of humor he has and Chris Hemsworth absolutely DESTROYS it in terms of comedy. He’s in a film with four modern comedy heavyweights and is able to hold his own. And everyone’s surprised he’s so funny in the new Thor movie? Thor ain’t got nothing on Kevin.

16) It’s funny because it’s true.

Patty [after a ghost ends up on the subway]: “He’s going to be the third scariest thing on that train.”

17) Erin’s ghost story.

This is the freaking beating heart of the movie. Right here. Its pulse can be found int his one scene. Everything that motivates Erin’s character, that speaks to her study of ghosts, can be found in this heartbreaking childhood story. It is an intense human element which helps elevate the story above cash grab reboot, especially when all of Erin’s current friends reassure her that they believe her.

17.1) Wait…could the scene where Erin tells her friends about how no one believed her when a creepy person came into her room every night but her friends do now be representative of sexual harassment stories? Maybe it’s because of all the allegations coming forward now but, I wonder…

18) I try not to compare this film to the original Ghostbusters too much, but then you have the cover of the theme song by Fallout Boy & Missy Elliott. While the cover HAS grown on me, it doesn’t touch the original.

19) The Stonehurst Theater scene.

First of all, Patty is again awesome. I cannot tell you how long I waited for a character in a scary movie to just be like, “Yeah, no,” and walk away. But I digress.

There is a nice sense of tension throughout this scene (although it could benefit to slow down from the scene), upping the spooky factor greatly. The following concert scene is also crazy fun and perhaps has the greatest concentration of awesome Patty moments in the film. But it is this victory, this triumph where the Ghostbusters actually catches a ghost, is the moment when I fall in love with this team. I was rooting for them before, but now I’m REALLY rooting for them.

20) Bill Murray’s cameo.

Most of the cameos in this film are ones I like (except Dan Aykroyd’s, more on that later though), but Bill Murray is more than just a crammed in cameo. He is a new character. He’s a problem the team has to face. The representation of everyone who doubts them and wants to keep them “in their place”. He is INCREDIBLY different from Murray’s previous character Peter Venkmann, which in the end just makes everything better because we know this isn’t some version of Venkmann. This is a new character for a new film. Also, this fucking line.

Bill Murray (yes, I’m calling him Bill Murray): “Well I guess the graciousness has ran out.”

YOU BARGE IN ON THEIR PLACE OF WORK, CONSTANTLY CRITICIZE AND BELITTLE THEM, AND EXPECT GRATITUDE! This is the equivalent of, “People would like you more if you smiled, sweetheart.”

21) The Mayor’s Office.

I see The Mayor in this film as basically the system looking to discredit and keep the women down in this film. He says the Ghostbusters should step aside because, “These gentlemen are on it,” when they are very clearly NOT on it, before noting that they are, “drawing a lot of attention to yourselves,” just by telling the truth (again: sexual harassment metaphor?). Then later they call the Ghostbusters just doing the right thing and being competent a, “desperate attempt at fame.” It’s handled well but very purposefully irritates the audience.

22) Once ley lines come into play the film transcends fun comedy with spooky elements into much higher fantasy elements. The stakes rise considerably, adding a whole new dimension to the movie.

23) Hey, it’s Annie Potts!

Moving on.

24) The scene where Abby gets possessed is really great. There’s a nice tension and build up to it while McCarthy is able to play evil Abby as wonderfully creepy. It’s the most REAL danger the characters have had. It’s not ghosts, it’s their friend choking them out and bashing on shit. THAT is why it works.

25) I think casting Chris Hemsworth as Kevin was so he could fulfill two roles: cute dumbass and fun villain. When Rowan posses Kevin, Hemsworth acts as the film’s final act antagonist. And he does it REALLY well. Kinda charismatic actually, while still being an excellently punchable douche bag.

26) I love this line.

The Mayor: “Never compare me to the Jaws mayor. NEVER!”

27) Ugh, Dan Aykroyd’s cameo in this film is so forced in. Bill Murray, Annie Potts, Ernie Hudson, and Sigourney Weaver all fill natural roles either the story demands or the characters have. Dan Aykroyd? No. He’s just there. Ugh.

28) Obligatory Slimer cameo.

While it is fun and appreciated, this Slimer appearance, I kinda wish he was a practical effect and not CGI. Granted, that’s a note I have for this film in general. I’d appreciate a little less CGI.

29) I like the brief Stay Puft Marshmallow Man cameo in this film because it’s not exactly what you would expect. You wouldn’t think, “Parade Balloon,” cameo but it works.

30) The big ghost fight scene.

Let me address the little things I don’t love about this scene: the CGI is a little much.

That’s it, now let me talk about what’s good here!

An incredible amount of humor

The action flows well between the four main Ghostbusters

HOLTZMANN FUCKING LICKS HER GUNS! YAS QUEEN!

31) I really love this film, but I will say I hate this line.

Abby [insulting Rowan]: “Come and get your virginity out of the lost and found!”

Dude, you were doing so well. What’s wrong with being a virgin?

32) The giant CGI Rowan ghost is actually really interesting take on the film’s logo come to life. Not to mention the way he composed is interesting. His skin is very fabricy/baggy which is an interesting decision. I dig it.

33) ERIN JUMPS IN AFTER ABBY! OH MY GOD YES!

This is why I love their friendship. It’s so deep, so defining of both the characters and the film. It’s not even a question of IF Erin will go in after Abby it’s a question of HOW Erin will go in after Abby. And then you have the music and the…the…“I wasn’t going to leave you twice.”

34)

Holtz [after Erin & Abby come out of the portal]: “It’s 2040, our president is a plant.”

A plant would be preferable at this point.

35) A friend of mine observed that - when Erin and Abby have their hair dyed - the hair colors of the four Ghostbusters kinda match the colors of the “Ghostbusters” cartoon from the 80s.

36) Holtz’s toast about family is surprisingly sweet and I love it.

(Quality of the video isn’t great here but still)

37) See, Ernie Hudson and Sigourney Weaver have REALLY nice cameos in this movie. I like it!

38) And the film ends in the most perfect way possible: the Ghostbusters get the recognition they deserve!

39) I. Want. A SEQUEL!

I freaking love the 2016 version of Ghostbusters. While the original is a classic, I am greatly appreciative of this film’s massive human heart and its story about recognition. The four women who lead this film are incredible on their own and together, with Chris Hemsworth being pretty damn funny too. It’s just wildly enjoyable and I get such a massive kick out of it. There are people who hate it, but I’m not one of them.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 12th August 2018

Top 10

Yep, we still have the same top two here, in fact the top five has stayed mostly still overall. “In My Feelings” by Drake featuring City Girls has stayed on top due to the video and streaming power, and I don’t see it stumbling for quite a few weeks.

Right behind it is “Shotgun” by George Ezra, still at the runner-up spot.

“No Brainer” by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo and Chance the Rapper is up a spot to number-three, swapping places with...

“Rise” by Jonas Blue featuring Jack & Jack, which is down a single position to number-four.

“Youngblood” by 5 Seconds of Summer is steady at number-five. Funnily enough, I recall saying these guys had their five seconds of fame back when I reviewed “Want You Back”, so don’t rely on me for predicting anything.

Also staying stable is “Jackie Chan” by Tiesto and Dzeko featuring Preme and Post Malone at number-six.

At number-seven, up a space from last week, is “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B.

Meanwhile, at number-eight, we have an 11-space gain straight to number-eight for “Body” by Loud Luxury and brando. I didn’t think this would be as popular as it ended up being, to be completely honest, and I’m very surprised at how fast this has gotten into the top 10.

Then we have our highest debut from Travis Scott’s ASTROWORLD, which has landed an album bomb of sorts – three songs, as is the limit on the UK Singles Chart. That debut, unsurprisingly, is “SICKO MODE” featuring uncredited vocals from Swae Lee and Drake, at number-nine.

Also, we have Tyga and Offset creeping into the top 10 via a one-space jump to number-ten, with “Taste”, and that rounds off our top 10 quite nicely.

Climbers

Now for the climbers and, honestly, despite the album “bomb”, not much happened of interest on the charts other than those three songs, in fact, barely anything has really happened. The only notable gain out of three non-top 10 gains is the 11-spot leap for “Eastside” by benny blanco, Khalid and Halsey, which is now at #12. The other gains are only single-space increases so it’s pointless noting them.

Fallers

The fallers, however, are a bit of a different story. A lot of pop girls struggled this week, including Ariana Grande with “God is a woman” down three spots to #13 and her feature on Nicki Minaj’s “Bed”, which has dropped seven spaces to #38. Speaking of Nicki Minaj, “FEFE” with 6ix9ine and Murda Beatz whimpered down four spots to #21, and the other female rapper on the charts right now, Cardi B, hasn’t exactly been gaining either, as “I Like It” featuring Bad Bunny and J Balvin is down five spaces to #14. Anne-Marie’s “2002” is down six spots to #32, Jess Glynne’s “I’ll be There” got hit identically down to #36, while “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble is down seven spots to #40. Drake had it particularly rough as well, with “Nonstop” down two to #30 while “Don’t Matter to Me” with Michael Jackson is down six to #19. The biggest fall, however, is definitely “If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years, falling a whopping 21 positions straight to #28. How much of this is due to Travis Scott? I’m not exactly sure.

Dropouts

“Ay Caramba” by Stay Free Get Lizzy Presents Fredo and Young T & Bugsey, or whatever on earth that title credit was, is unsurprisingly out straight from the debut at #38, while “Paradise” by George Ezra is also out from #39 – it had a good run. “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker is also out from #36, but that’s it, so let’s run through the Ed Sheeran Update!

The Ed Sheeran Update

“Perfect” is down three spaces to #60, while “Shape of You” stays at #77. Not much to see here.

Well, that was quick. No returning entries so let’s go right into our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “Best Life” – Hardy Caprio featuring One Acen

Okay, so before Travis Scott, we have a song that been bubbling under the top 40 for quite a long time, and to be honest, I was dreading the day Hardy Caprio returns with another hit, because, God, is he boring? At least now he has a guest star to maybe improve or diversify things but has that really helped at all? No, because it’s still the same faux-dancehall faux-grime stuff to expect. I call it that but it’s really just desaturated trap with some shrill synths and keys that make a just listenable beat for the two rappers to spit over, however the song is mostly the singing chorus, assumingly by One Acen, who also sings during the post-chorus, and he doesn’t have a bad voice so I’m not complaining at all, but maybe I wanted something more interesting to combat Hardy on the first verse biting a Lil Baby flow from “Yes Indeed”, because, out of all the songs to copy, you had to copy the worst possible trap-rap song you could find on the Hot 100? Okay, Hardy... To be fair, this isn’t awful and they both ride the beat well, even if the rapping is actually quite brief. It’s just more of the same, more of the same. In fact, I think I’m going to coin a name for this. Damhall – it’s watered down dancehall with grime-ish lyrics and trap percussion, as well as autotuned vocals, rapping often with melodic, R&B-inspired flows. It’s not the best name in the world, but it’ll be better than saying “faux-dancehall faux-grime schlock” week after week. Not feeling this damhall genre to be perfectly honest. Now let’s take a ride down to ASTROWORLD.

#29 – “CAROUSEL” – Travis Scott featuring Frank Ocean and Big Tuck?

We start with the second track on the album, “CAROUSEL” featuring uncredited vocals from... Frank Ocean? Damn, Frank doesn’t seem like the guy to be doing pop features as often, so Travis and the beat must be something special that made Frank want to lend his immense vocal talent.

Not really. I do like the beat, however, it’s pretty cool how it’s just constant gang vocals going from the left to the right channel as a backdrop behind your typical trap-rap production, which makes it have a party-ish aesthetic that I really like and think fits Travis’ flow really well. Frank, on the other hand, on the hook, sounds asleep and bored, and he does throughout most of the song until his verse where he starts straining his voice very forcefully and frankly, it sounds pretty terrible over a club-ready beat. Come on, Frank, the bored flow at least works for stuff like this, you didn’t need to put any effort or emotion into this performance, yet, you do for some of it and it just doesn’t sound good at all. Stick to sounding like you’re on half a Xan during your guest features, it works much better. Oh, yeah, and this song is barely three minutes and ends very abruptly. It’s just kind of sloppy if anything, mostly because of, unfortunately, Frank Ocean. The song’s serviceable, I suppose, and I know why it charted – it’s catchy, it’s at the start of the album, yet I’d have much preferred “NO BYSTANDERS”, “SKELETONS”, “R.I.P. SCREW” or even “STOP TRYING TO BE GOD” to chart instead of this and the next few tracks, although this next one I’m not necessarily complaining about.

#15 – “STARGAZING” – Travis Scott

Ah, the opening track to ASTROWORLD, and one of the few songs that doesn’t have features as well as actually being somewhat astro-themed, as it’s very psychedelic and trippy yet does feel like a theme park ride in its structure. Let me elaborate.

It starts with some slow, eerie chords with some beautifully autotuned singing throughout, before you get a drop – the bass and the rollercoaster – which starts initially with some pretty disjointed drum patterns, as your mindset would be during a ride, as Travis says, “going crazy” and “rolling”, quite similarly to the effect of psychedelics. He has some pretty... interesting falsetto vocals here, as well as the classic ad-libs we know him for crowding the catchy hook, before the drums start to collapse briefly and we get a moment of peace, of build-up, with some sweet guitar and extra keys, which sound really pretty, especially with all the sound effects of people screaming and having fun on Astroworld building the atmosphere. It then comes to a sudden stop and you’ve gone down the biggest slope in the rollercoaster, so you’re calmer but the ride hasn’t stopped. The beat switches and now you’re going through maddening keyboard loops whilst a slick trap beat plays, allowing Travis to spit some surprisingly impressive bars here, with a simple flow but some funny lines like about how it’s not a moshpit without injuries and how Kylie’s jumping off him like Moby – you figure it out – while a faint “alright, alright” vocal sample plays, and then it just comes to an abrupt stop. Your ride has finished, but it’s only the first track so you’re ready for the unimpressive mediocrity of the other rides in the theme park that you only go on because you have younger siblings with you.

#9 – “SICKO MODE” – Travis Scott featuring Drake and Swae Lee

Speak of the devil.

Alright, so this track is three songs, and the only reason why this absolute mess of a song was the biggest hit is because of Drake, but you know that already. Let’s analyse each part of this five-minute trap-rap trilogy.

We start with a fantastic sample, and one of the best moments on the album as Drake just sings over one of the best beats I’ve heard this year, God, I love that sample so much, but then the percussion comes in and he starts rapping, for one bar. Yep, the last line (the title) echoes and we go into a completely different song with a serviceable beat, where Travis Scott starts rapping with a flow I feel we’ve heard from him a few times before, with some extra classic hip-hop samples acting as ad-libs to his rapping, as well as some pitch-shifted chopped-up Big Hawk samples acting as bridges while Swae Lee just repeats one line in the background, but then after two verses, that one transitions too, pretty abruptly, into a boring Tay Keith beat for Drake to go all “Nonstop” on. Drake does half a Xan on a plane and is out like a light (like a light, ayy, yeah, what), and it tells. Over a Memphis-influenced instrumental, Drake delivers a decent enough verse but really, neither him nor Travis have enough charisma and energy to carry this. I appreciate how the beat goes all DJ Screw on us by the end, leading into the next song on the album, “R.I.P. SCREW”, but really, isn’t this just a huge waste of money for Travis? Sure, he’s probably getting it back and more, but a huge feature in the form of Drake, two guest vocalists (Swae Lee and Sheck Wes) hired purely for ad-libs, at least three samples, two of which are short clips that really aren’t worth the royalties he and his label probably had to pay, can’t be cheap, especially considering the four to six producers probably involved in this that had to get their paycheck too, even though knowing the industry, they probably won’t be getting them at all.

This song, as it is, is just a five minute slog, especially considering only the first minute is worth listening to. If someone has a separate track of just that Drake intro, I’d appreciate a link.

Conclusion

Yeah, Best of the Week goes to Travis Scott for “STARGAZING”, who also bags Worst of the Week for “CAROUSEL” with Frank Ocean and one of the two Dishonourable Mentions for “SICKO MODE” with Drake and Swae Lee, with the other going to Hardy Caprio and One Acen for just being void of anything interesting in “Best Life”. See you next week.

L

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Aaron Parks

Pianist Aaron Parks has a prodigy's history: started college early with multiple majors, got the fellowship, the all-star recognition. His biggest break came through his work with Terence Blanchard, starting when he was still a teenager. Not long after, he recorded with artists like Mike Moreno and Ambrose Akinmusire. The heart of Parks's flexible work shows in his Blue Note debut as a leader, 2008's Invisible Cinema, a moody, complex album that displayed his compositional skills to full effect. While he's continued his collaborative work (the James Farm material with Joshua Redman stands out), he's been developing his solo work, with Arborescence (2013) highlighting his control and narrative sensibility. New release Find the Way, with bassist Ben Street and drummer Billy Hart, shows Parks playing with time-signatures and space, finding a lovely, open sound with a light touch. (Read Marc Medwin’s review here.) For this Listed entry, Parks shares some of his favorite jazz releases, connecting individual technique with group interaction.

Bennie Maupin — The Jewel in the Lotus

Magnificence. The music seems to just emerge like water from a spring. Sublime compositions and orchestrations. Listen to the gentleness and power of Billy Hart’s drumming on the opening track “Ensenada,” or the sorrow and expansive beauty of Maupin and Herbie Hancock in duo on the concluding “Past Is Past.”

Dewey Redman & Ed Blackwell — Red and Black in Willisau 

A live duo set from two of the deepest improvisers ever. The music sounds so complete that it’s easy to forget that there’s only two people on the stage. The playing is free and gestural but at the same time unbelievably focused and rigorously motivic. Really inspiring. There are five tracks on this record, and it’s worth listening to them all, from the ridiculously swinging and joyous opener “Willisee” to the oblique and lyrical “S 126 T.”

Gonzalo Rubalcaba — Inner Voyage 

This is one of my favorite recordings by a piano trio, certainly within the last 20 years. There’s a warm lyricism in Rubalcaba’s playing but also something cryptic in his approach to rhythm and harmony. His touch on the piano is crystalline, precise and dreamy. “Here’s That Rainy Day” floats by with breathtaking patience and a tenderness that never curdles into sentimentality, “Caravan” sways with a slyly restrained energy punctuated by the occasional serpentine flash of virtuosity, and the three pieces written for his children (“Yolanda Anas,” “Joan” and “Joao”) are deceptively simple masterpieces of modern lullaby. It would be hard to overstate how much of an influence this album has had on my development as a musician. 

Jimmy Giuffre 3 — Fusion 

Inscrutable, in the best way. There’s spaciousness, simplicity and subversion here. This trio of Giuffre, Paul Bley and Steve Swallow is cohesive with a unique kind of gravitation, taking solid form for long stretches but always seeming on the verge of either spinning off into total abstraction or disappearing into the ether. “Brief Hesitation” is an episodic masterpiece featuring some of my favorite Bley on record, and “Emphasis” is a madman’s blues: playful, dead serious and insanely swinging. 

João Gilberto — Amoroso 

Unapologetically gorgeous music. The way Gilberto phrases the melodies on this recording, especially on the four songs by Jobim, has been a real touchstone for me. On “Zingaro” he is somehow in/out/above/under the time all at once, while simultaneously holding down the rhythmic center on guitar. Beautifully lush yet transparent arrangements by Claus Ogerman, as well. 

Meshell Ndegeocello — Comfort Woman 

Oh man, I love this album so much. To the point that I’m almost uncomfortable talking about it. Cosmic medicine doesn’t get much sexier than this. Nourishment for the body, heart, mind and spirit. The combination of Ndegeocello and Chris Dave is so heavy, it’s like doom and salvation combined. “Andromeda and the Milky Way” or any of the three “Love Songs” should give you a good idea. 

Mark Hollis — Mark Hollis 

What can I possibly say? A miracle of a record by the former singer of Talk Talk. Devastatingly vulnerable, endlessly enigmatic. From the profound spareness of “The Colour of Spring” and the drifting odd-metered melancholy of “The Watershed” to the pointillistic woodwind orchestrations and soaring grandeur of “The Daily Planet,” this album casts a spell unlike any other. 

Matthew Stevens — Preverbal 

One of the most interesting and compellingly constructed records that I’ve heard in a while. A lot of time and care has obviously gone into the production here. Strong, strange songs that take their time developing and end up leading to unexpected places in a natural and unforced way. Check out “Reservoir” and the counterpoint between the supremely groovy foundation that Vicente Archer and Eric Doob set up and Stevens’ haunting question of a melody. Or the rugged and ravishingly beautiful “Our Reunion” featuring Esperanza Spalding.

Pauline Oliveros, Stuart Dempster & Panaiotis — Deep Listening

Do you have 10 minutes to spare? Do you ever contemplate the origins of consciousness? Are you a fan of music recorded in huge reverberant underground cisterns? Oh good! Now turn off all the lights and listen to “Suiren.” Or, even better, take an hour and listen to the whole album from the beginning. 

Shirley Horn — You Won’t Forget Me

Classic. She’s one of my absolute favorite pianists, first of all. Unbelievably hip and understated, with an uncanny sense of timing and a gorgeous touch on the instrument. And then there’s her voice — I don’t even have the words. The whole record is great, but for me it’s all about the ballads. I hang breathlessly in the spaces between every note and every word on the heart-breakingly slow and sublime “If You Go.” And the title track, featuring Miles Davis in his last recorded sideman performance, is a straight-up masterpiece.