i've discovered in the past few months that i actually really enjoy socializing and listening to people, and that people like what i have to say and how i say it and my sense of humor (when i'm comfortable and familiar enough with them to be able to be able to be quick witted in conversations). however i'm unfortunately also extremely unsocialized due to a childhood spent alone almost 24/7 and often emotionally abused and neglected, so whenever i stumble (which i frequently do like a baby deer on ice) i default to word vomit, stock photo formulaic responses i've clearly rehearsed before, and that awful kind of defensive, insincere irony that makes it obvious i struggle to trust people and don't feel comfortable in my own skin. and i'm slowly improving and getting better at recognizing it and practicing so i can be more relaxed and self-assured and charismatic, not because i'm trying to be but because i'm genuinely confident and content with being myself, but it's fucking mortifying having to learn and catch up with like 20 years of experience that a lot of the people i talk to had when they were young enough for people to dismiss it as just the process of growing up and being allowed to be immature and make mistakes because you're literally a child (thank fuck for fellow neurodivergent people or i'd feel incredibly lonely despite my newfound joy in human interaction).
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BNHA Ch. 429
So, I guess Toga is dead, and people are losing it.
I get why people liked her--she was actually queer, being pan/bisexual. She was representation for them and that's rare in shonen manga.
But here's the thing--she was bad representation at best and insulting at worst. Nor do I think she was made queer because Hori really wanted to represent a queer girl. Himiko was always the author's poorly hidden fetish--she just was. She liked girls as much as boys because Hori wanted to draw a girl touching sexually on another girl. You can see this in how he draws her and Ochako in solo pics together.
I mean, people seem to understand this when it comes to Momo and her outfit being overly sexual or that both Himiko and Hagakure's Quirks either leave them naked or they have to be naked to use them. These are excuses to draw girls in a sexual manner. Himiko being into other girls is the same thing and that's the kindest interpretation.
Given how Himiko acts and her Quirk being heavily coded sexual desire, and therefore her use of it against someone unwilling being sexual assault, it could just being playing into harmful stereotypes of predatory gays.
As a queer person myself I just found Toga insulting. She was designed to be overly sexual and give the male author a female character that he could draw being suggestive with his other female characters. When he did flesh out her character, her backstory was eventually the trope/fear of straight people, that gay people will be so overcome with their lust that they end up sexually assaulting them.
In the end Ochako accepts this part of Toga and says she'll giver her blood forever, but as much as a lot of readers took that that as some deep lesbian confession, for me it really fell flat. Hori never really gave any of the main kids time to actually learn about their villain or show how that changed their minds toward them. Shoto only works because Touya is his brother (even though he admits he barely remembers him). But Ochako goes from not thinking of Toga at all pre-first war, to one thought about her during her speech, to suddenly caring about her so much she--given how Toga's quirk is coded, is willing to essentially fulfill Toga's kink for the rest of their lives.
It's weird and it comes out of nowhere. It's made even stranger because Toga doesn't actually change or show remorse for anything she did, which included personally hunting and murdering people before she joined the LOV. None of the death and destruction she is also partially responsible for is brought up either, something that Ochako was rightfully upset about during the first war when less people and property had been destroyed. Ochako just accepts everything about her suddenly and her past serious crimes are forgotten so they can cuddle and cry.
Am I shocked Toga died--a little. I didn't think Hori would have the guts to kill off a young girl character, especially one that he clearly got a lot of joy drawing in sexy poses. But at the same time, once he killed off Shigaraki and ended Touya's story with his slow death, I'm not surprised he went the same route with Toga.
This isn't Naruto--Hori isn't really kind to characters that do something wrong, especially if they don't try and change. Enji, Bakugo, Hawks, and Aoyama all sort of got punished for what they did. Enji is the worst off, being permanently crippled, missing an arm and burned everywhere. Bakugo's hand is damaged, his heart weaker, plus he feels bad that Izuku lost his Quirk so they can't compete the same way he wanted them to. Aoyama, despite doing way less wrong and even helping his class during the forest raid, still leaves school because he doesn't feel he earned being there yet. Hawks lost his Quirk and even though him running the HPSC could be seen as good for him, Hawks always wanted a break, but now he has one of the most time consuming and stressful jobs out there.
So, if this is what characters who actively did good things and even changed and fought to be better get, what would characters who never changed and never did anything positive for anyone but their friends/themselves get?
Before the last Arc started, when so many people said the LoV were 100% going to be redeemed I had doubts and always thought it wouldn't make sense with how the story presented redemption or treated other non-LoV villains in the past. That if the main LoV did get some happy ending where they were bffs with the main cast it would clash with how other characters had been treated.
That doesn't mean that I think how Shigaraki, Toga, and Touya ended up in the manga was well done. I think their endings fit far better then a last minute redemption would have, but at the same time you can feel how rushed everything has been since the end of the first war arc. Hori was done with this story months if not years ago, yet he was contractually obligated to finish it. Because of that I think he left out as much as possible. As much as I think he's written some pretty obsessive stuff, particularly towards women, I can't really fully blame him cutting corners or the story being shit at the end.
We know Manga authors, particularly those that work with Jump are treated like shit. That they suffer incredibly long hours at times not even getting to go home for days. We've gotten messages for Hori saying he's sick quite a few times. On top of that, weekly story telling is not a great way to tell a cohesive narrative. Ideas probably change week to week or at least month to month and you can't go back and change the last chapter no matter how much you need or want to. Then you remember he also gave a lot of ideas to the people who made the movies, which would also change his plans for how he wanted the main story to go.
The story is bad--it has been for a while, but I think a lot of people put their hopes on their favorite characters getting a happy ending, even when there were signs that probably wasn't going to be the case. I know how much it sucks when a character you love gets a shitty ending (Stain was my fav, but he got an absolute dogshit ending) but at least, knowing what I know about the industry I can't really blame Hori the way I see some other people doing. Criticize it, sure, but saying Hori hates his readers or is horrible writer isn't true. BNHA was popular for a reason--he's great with characters and the beginning of the story had some great pacing. We'll never know, but I wouldn't be surprised if BNHA could have been amazing if Hori had been treated better and the story hadn't needed a chapter every week.
If anything BNHA has taught me how much a story suffers when authors/artists are treated like crap and forced to work past burnout.
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YOOOO! HazbinHotel Trailer just Drop!😱 Spoilers Along with the Release date of Season 1 and 2! Let Us know your Opinion about it!😆
Some things we know:
Amazon Prime is the streaming service that took it up
Season 1 will be released in January 2024
It's going to get a season 2
The voice actors still haven't been announced for some reason? The trailer has no dialogue on top of that.
We see Lucifer, a lot of Alastor and Vox fighting, the weird demon-looking angel Adam, a meeting of Hell overlords discussing the angel threats, and Sir Pentious is part of the gang now. That's about it?
The trailer's music reminds me of a Disney movie for kids. There are a lot of Tinkerbell chime noises and jazzy upbeat music which I don't think is fitting for what the show is trying to go for as a teen-to-adult plot regarding demons from Hell being murdered and dealing with abuse. (They have "Guess what, bitches?" on a text screen in the trailer too)
So first impression is extreme overcrowding. List of characters that appear in the trailer alone:
Charlie
Alastor
Vaggie
Angel Dust
Husker
Niffty
Sir Pentious
Lucifer
Lilith
Vox
Velvet
Adam
Rosie
and we all know Cherri Bomb and Valentino are gonna show up too.
These are way too many characters to introduce or juggle in an 8 episode season. There is no possible way to give our main characters enough screen time, focus, or development to make them meaningful protagonists. They either have to rush plots or drop character arcs to squeeze things into 8 episodes.
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ughhh god me and the innate attraction to fill out a random ass ship chart every 6 months. i did this before but it wasn't detailed enough so i hated this. i THINK this is detailed enough i don't know i actually doubt it. i saw something doing this chart for bsp and then i wanted to do it for mtt poly vut then i literally forgot who did it originally 😭😭😭
doing the bottom left section was cracking me up because killer is such an enigma. "be nice!" and then "but also treat me like shit!" what a goddamn freak bro he needs get shipped off to therapy. and then its something nice and fluffy like physical affection and then it immediately 180s to emotional vulnerability. like hello pick a side you fucking freak. and for the slidey bar ones notice how killer is almost ALWAYS on one of the ends??? he has to be one of the extremes or else he dies it seems.
the closeness over time chart 😭😭 they doNOT get along. i was gonna put another dip near the end but i was like "ehhhh they have more than enough issues the people will get it". also for the bugs one i think dust would love bugs. hes very used to them and even made friends with some. but horror would HATE THEM. all the bugs died out in horrortales famine so he hasn't seem em in a couple years. so when he does its a whole ass jumpscare
GODDD i love qpr horrordust. theyre soooo qpr coded my queerplatonic freaks. bitches. i like how on the love languages chart each of the mtt satisfies one of the others. none of them would get gifts theyre too fucked up and lazy 4 that. horror would be confused if someone gave him a gift (horrortale w/ alizas ketchup thing) killer would just forget about it or ditch it in a few days. and then dust would actually accept it but he wouldn't know wtf to do with it if it doesn't have an obvious use
for strategist/impulsive I WAS STRUGGLING. because like all of these bitches are cunning AND emotional. horror is definition of sceming from the sides but he also has his outbursts. dust is always planning ahead but like horror he has outbursts. i guess killer isn't a strategist bc he just always has a vibe of whats gonna happen but (not so surprisingly) he has outbursts even if he claims hes not emotional. so i had to choose,,,,,
i was also tempted to just put them all at arrogant. because they're definitely all stuck up assholes. but i was like nahhhhh... horror's the only one that would be regularly arrogant. dust's just self assured and confident whilr killer has no idea when hes even being arrogant
music category ehehehe. horror would LOVE natural sounds like rain and leaves rustling bc its not too overwhelming for his screwed up processing thanks ti his head damage. dust would totally listen to undertale osts if they existed in utmv. also other osts. i think he would totally be a gamer. also classical music. and killer has no preference (just like everything in his damn life FORM YOUR OWN OPINIONS YOU BITCH!!!!)
i think this just cemented my stance on arohorror acedust and go with the flow killer. killer would have absolutely zero preference on ANYTHING became he genuinely does not give two fucks. and for arohorror (you can't spell horror with ro. which is in aromatic. woahhhh) i just think he would be icked out by romantic handholding and dates and stuff. it just feels RIGHT. but he'd be decently ok with tangoing. and dust is just the opposite. he'd be uncomfortable and grossed out by sexual behaviors but he'd absolutely be a romantic. i think dust would be a romantic he just gives off those vibes. as a person on the ace and maybe aro spectrum i have to blast my favs with the aroace beam. it's just mandatory
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My brain is actually broken. In so sleepy that in barely even doing my nightly Tumblr scroll, plus im sleeping at someone else's house yet my brain is like "just do a bit of camming come on just go on and show ur tits that doesnt require moving around too much and u wont make much noise faffing around" like ???? Ok but... I'm tired as hell???
Need to rewire my brain to have regular expectations of myself for real. I push myself to unhealthy habits to the point it gets to this where i cannot differentiate between kinky fun/ sexualising myself and actual self sabotage
Like camming? Sure thats fun! But... For the whole night to the point that the sun is up and the day has started?? NO. At
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