#especially if it confirms your worldview

[thenationofzaun]

Arcane and Ideological Clashes

Tags by @coolseabird

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. One of season 1's themes I loved was the philosophical and ideological debate between Silco and Vander (and then Jinx and Vi). I adore the personal character-driven aspects too, but the thing is, they don't have to be mutually exclusive. Ideologies can be extremely personally informed/motivated, and in the case of these characters, they were. Every part of their worldviews were shaped by their circumstances, their lives, experiences, and relationships with other characters. For example, Silco surviving the murder attempt by Vander and how this very personal betrayal motivated him politically, to be unrelentingly extremist in his methods. Or Vander feeling personally guilty for all the deaths on the Day of Ash, leading to him forming a political deal with Grayson to subdue the undercity from ever stepping out of line "for their own good". Because when you live in these kinds of dire conditions, there really is no way to separate the personal from the political.

Though season 1 didn't explore these themes with the sisters as deeply as I would have liked, the crumbs were there! Especially for Jinx. Yeah, she's selfish and personally-motivated, but her actions are nonetheless political. When it comes to her political opinions, the first season itself only gave us crumbs ("We kicked the enforcers butts, imagine what the whole of the Lanes could do!" as a kid, and then later Silco tells her that the children of Zaun deserve more and she seems to listen pensively, but never comments on it). Every act of political violence by her in the first season was given a personal motivation (she wants Silco to think she's strong, she wants to confront Caitvi on the bridge, she wants to avenge Silco). But writers comments outside the show gave us more - one of them said online that while Jinx understands Vander, she disagrees with his worldview and aligns with Silco's views on fighting topside. So that confirmed that Jinx does have an ideology and it aligns with Silco's, even if she was mostly preoccupied with personal matters in S1.

Vi on the other hand was completely neglected by season 1. All of her thought process and political opinions post Act 1 were left entirely subtextual. Act 3 was the worst offender because it's there that she makes her most controversial decisions (betraying Jinx to the Council and attacking the Shimmer factory with enforcers). However, again there were crumbs that one could string together to form interpretations. In S1E2, Vander basically convinces her that rebellion against topside is futile as it would likely lead to the deaths of her loved ones. She then decides to give up her desire to fight them and turns herself in to the enforcers. What follows is 7-8 years of being beaten and abused and downtrodden by topsiders in prison. Yeah, I can definitely see how this experience would only confirm Vander's words, that Piltover's might is too much to overcome, not without heavy casualties on their side. That rebellion is futile and the best thing to do is to keep your head down and don't invoke their wrath.

However, it was a fellow undercity citizen who murdered Vander and took her sister. And when she returns years later, she finds that he is still in power, has significant influence and a large number of followers in the Lanes, and no one has overthrown him. One line that really stood out to me was one she said to the brothel madam Babette in S1E5 - "From the looks of it no one down here lifted a finger to stop Silco". How juicy is that! She feels resentful towards her fellow Zaunites for not avenging Vander and taking down Silco in her absence. She feels betrayed, abandoned, left behind by her own neighbours. Her sister changed under Silco, her home changed under Silco. And everyone moved on without her. Expanding on this could have been such a natural way to justify her class treason by joining the enforcers. She thinks Piltover is too strong for Zaunites to beat so there's no use rebelling against them anyway. So why not use their might against her Zaunite enemies? Zaunites themselves "won't lift a finger" to stop violent gang leaders so why not use topside's power to do it? "What loyalty should I have to my class, if the people from my class abandoned me like this?" I could even see how being wronged by Zaunites could hurt more than being wronged by Piltovians - she could see it as the latter owing her nothing while the Zaunites are supposed to be her family and neighbours, who owe her more.

Again, season 1 itself did jack shit to delve into these feelings nor her trauma from prison. But the crumbs were there. I happily used them to form my own interpretation to justify her bizarre decisions and was satisfied. But then season 2 rolls around. They had the blueprint and chose not to use any of this rich material. How do they justify her joining the enforcers? Do they explore any of the complex feelings of resentment Vi may have for her home and class? Nope, she joins after hearing how her crush talked her up to colleagues. How do they justify her fully turning on Jinx and disowning her sister? Do they explore Vi's loyalty to her foster father Vander, and her acceptance that Jinx chose to betray him and side with his murderer, then try to murder Ekko for years? Nope. In fact, she forgets about Ekko and never mentions him again lmao. Rather she seems to turn on Jinx because she attacked the Council??? That seems to be the turning point for Vi, the thing that makes Vi view Jinx as a monster. "She killed the tyrants who oppressed me all my life, how dare she😤" ???? It would make sense for Vi to view the attack as stupid and reckless, again just like Vander said - fighting topside only brings more wrath to the undercity. But they don't even do that. They never explore Vi's political opinions and how she agrees with Vander's "compliance for our own good" stance. They never touch on her time in prison and how it may have compounded Vander's views. Instead they make it so Vi seems to sympathize with the Councilors and condemns Jinx's bombing because of some generic "violence bad" moral.

It's so stupid too, because they completely forget about Grayson. That's more PRIME material to justify Vi's enforcer arc. If Vander, her mentor, allied with Grayson, Caitlyn's mentor, then why shouldn't she ally with Caitlyn? She could easily use the Vander-Grayson peace deal to make herself feel better about her class treason. "He allied with enforcers to keep the undercity in check for their own good. So will I. Putting on the uniform is just the next logical step. I will take out the gang leaders and Silcos that Zaunites are too weak to stand up to. My parents were wrong to fight against topside, rebellion is futile. Jinx is wrong to fight against topside and will only get more Zaunites killed in the resulting retaliation. They can call me a traitor but I'm doing this for their own good."

All the pieces are there. Instead they never bring up the Vander-Grayson deal. Caitlyn and Vi have never even spoken about either of them in their entire relationship lmfaooo. They don't even know that their beloved mentors knew each other. They never speak about anything of substance. The only crumbs of an ideological clash we get in season 2 is the argument in S2E5. But it's all from Jinx's side - "I wish I was just seeing things when you decided to throw in with the Piltie goons who murdered mom and dad." But then Vi replies with some lame insult, then they're having a cheap slapstick comedy fight, and Vi never reckons with this. She never expresses what she thinks of her parents dying fighting topside. Then the Piltover vs Zaun war is completely abandoned and the plot focuses on Warwick/Hexcore/Noxus. And we don't get any more explorations of the ideological/philosophical clash that the sisters represent. Is it worth it to rebel against an oppressor if you lose yourself and all your loved ones to violence, but at least those in the future reap the benefits of your fight? Is it worth it to comply for the safety of yourself and your loved ones, if your people will eventually suffer a slow death and never have a future? What are you willing to sacrifice for your revolution? How far will you go? They handled this theme beautifully with season 1 Silco, then said "alright that's enough" and dropped all effort when it came to season 2. And from the trailers of Act 3, it looks like Vi will be convincing Jinx to fucking help Piltover against Noxus. Which is just gross lmao.

[bigshotautos]

I really like your theory about Spamton basically haunting a mannequin after death. Have you ever touched upon the reaction from Jevil (or anyone, really) upon seeing the new Spamton? Especially considering Spamton isn't even aware he 'died'.

^ how i think jevil's first sight of Spamton would go. i love this ask. this is referring to some headcanons I made a while back, I'll link it here for the one post and the general ghost spamton theory is linked in that one as well. Going to elaborate on it more under the cut for those interested + more art.

In general I think that people from Spamton's past wouldn't really care if they notice at all, since he wasn't in the business of making close friends with anyone. With the Addisons, in my interpretation he had a "weird co-worker" relationship with them, and while Addisons in general treated each other like potential business competitors that they had to make-nice with, Spamton is especially easy to single out for being visibly and temperamentally different. His altered, current state is something they'd feel at least uncomfortable by, but many wouldn't have been too close with him to begin with for them to talk about it with him directly. Would get whispered about between each other for sure, like we saw with them talking about Spamton after the NEO fight. It moves him from the "disgraced guy I used to know" category to the "actually unpleasant to look at or think about" territory. This goes for Swatch, Queen, and Seam (less so), who seem to buy heavily into the Lightner and Darkner dynamic, with Spamton corrupting the Lightner's dream being a strong taboo against what it means to be a Darkner.

As for what Jevil thinks, Spamton during the NEO fight is both a beautiful and horrifying display. Jevil at this point hasn't seen him in years since his imprisonment, and in their time apart Jevil has grown to find novelty in the cage that everyone else besides him is in since he's created huge emotional distance between him and the reality he lives in. Seeing the fact that Spamton had corrupted an abandoned dream of a Lightner and was causing so much chaos to the established order of the world would be exhilarating, but at the same time seeing that Spamton had accomplished this and still had his strings visible (and changed to a marionette puppet with no symbolic agency), it'd be a painful confirmation of his worldview that even Spamton, who deep down he still cares for, could never have been free.

Jevil would think at first he'd just gone through some nebulous situation to change what he looks like, since ofc he himself has toy-like traits (arguable if that happened with Gasterfication or not), Seam is a plushie cat, and other Card Castle Darkners are based on toys, but feeling the lack of life combined with the symbolic body of Spamton would mean to him something bigger had went wrong. He wouldn't dare to bring it up in an empathetic way, stuck in his mindset that it doesn't matter, but it'd still hit a part of him he doesn't like to think still exists. It's something he gets over quickly, almost performatively going back to fucking with him and taking advantage of his fear for entertainment, but it didn't sit well at first.

To me, the fact Spamton "died" isn't really a huge deal, kind of like with the ghosts in Undertale where no one really cares they're just ghosts. They're just doing their thing. To me it'd be fine if neither of them find out what happened for certain, but it's something that adds Flavor to his character.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

tw: domestic and parental abuse

i think people underplay how much abuse can affect your worldview sometimes. i'm not just talking about the victims (or at least, the victim who suffered the bulk of the abuse), i'm talking about everyone in that household, especially children.

even if, let's say, a parent is abusive to only one child and is nice to the rest, that doesn't mean this abuse doesn't affect the other children negatively.

for one, it sets a standard that they feel the need to keep up, because the abused child is an "example" and the abuser could turn on the rest of the children at any moment.

secondly, if you've been witnessing this since childhood, you just accept it as normal. you think it's normal for parents to hit their children to "discipline" them or "for their own good". you think it's okay for parents to call their kids worthless or a burden or a waste of space, because that's just what you've been accustomed to. you don't really question it, because you don't know any better.

this is regarding catra stans blaming adora for not protecting catra when she was being abused. which, first of all, adora tried her best, even putting herself in front of catra when shadow weaver was about to hurt her.

secondly, even if adora didn't do that, i wouldn't blame her. she's been seeing this ever since she was an infant. why would she question it if this is the only person close to a parental figure that she's had? how would she know that this isn't what a parent is supposed to act like?

and of course, fans love to forget the fact that adora herself was being emotionally abused by shadow weaver as well. she was a victim too.

it's ridiculous to blame a child for not standing up to her abusive parent when 1. she doesn't know that this is wrong because she's been accustomed to it all her life and 2. SHE'S A CHILD.

"oh adora only cares about random people she just met, she doesn't care about catra" she wouldn't have asked catra to join her if she didn't care. she wouldn't have spent three seasons trying to convince catra to leave her toxic environment.

and how much did catra care about adora? keep in mind, unlike adora, catra knew that the horde was evil and she didn't even mention it to adora, let alone try to do something about it. why is catra allowed to get away with not acting on a problem but adora is villanized for it?

this just further confirms my theory that deep down, c//a stans see catra and adora as sisters. and they expect adora to behave like an older sibling, protecting catra from all harm and essentially becoming her second parent.

[lxmelle]

Gojo’s beliefs of “when you die, you die alone” & “there is no curse more twisted than love”.

We know these were his personal beliefs. At least the latter was confirmed by his own mouth as a personal theory in jjk0. What he told Megumi during the 1on1 training wasn’t a lecture but a piece of advice for how he hoped Megumi could overcome his limitations. It must’ve worked for, or been personal to, Gojo himself who reflected on how this was inaccurate in ch236.

It got to thinking about how he came to believe these. It’s normal to philosophise following personal experiences and form our worldview. So within the context of the world in jjk, here are my reflections, right or wrong:

As a jujutsu sorcerer they’re expected to embrace death at any moment. They were trained to take lives and therefore they expect the risk that comes with it to some degree. Those whose lives they wish to take will defend themselves, and they can be killed instead. Those with an exceptional burden, whether it be as a teacher or as a talented sorcerer, they’d have to be prepared to lay their lives on the line for others.

We see even adults expressing reluctance over this - like Kusakabe and MeiMei - who have something greater they wish to protect through their survival. Of course it’s not easy to embrace death. Especially when you have a lot to lose. Nanami said he wouldn’t be married for as long as he was a sorcerer. Maybe that’s why they trained them young... but that’s by the by. The greater the strength, the greater the responsibility. This is what the strongest duo shouldered with the mission from Tengen, and this was what they had to get used to when being sent on missions separately.

Meaning, there was always the need to accept the high possibility of going alone. Risking just yourself. Alone.

And it’s not hard to imagine that Gojo and Geto both accepted that death equated to a sense of being alone after they parted ways.

Because they weren’t a duo anymore. The end, the death of it. Even if they were, like in HI, they might still have “died” separately. Helplessly.

So in that sense we can see how the ideal about dying alone could have come about for Gojo, who tended to learn things experientially (e.g. not only as a talented & gifted sorcerer - a genius, but also in the matters of decorum, love, etc.) so in terms of loss and grief, it should not be any different.

When Geto embarked on his path, he accepted that this alone-ness equated to a certain death. He actually sought to be alone (like killing his parents) aside from the girls he protected and found a family who were considered outcasts/minorities within the conservative Japanese society.

He embraced his own self sacrifice - his death - so much so that he proclaimed it would have meaning for Gojo to take his life. Gege wanted him to caution Gojo not to take others’ lives along with his (since they had opposing ideologies too), encouraging Gojo to stay on that path and not follow him. It was like walking alone to his death, living on borrowed time.

And Gojo for certain left behind.

Maybe the pain of having left behind, feeling alone as the strongest, felt like death too. It was not enough to be strong if you were alone. Loss is grief. Being alone was a loss and grief. Grief and loss have roots in separation, in death.

And in being the strongest, being left behind, being alone, being prepared to die, watching someone be prepared to die, and seeing others die - he might’ve felt that his death would equate to being alone too. This was the worst pain he had ever known after all.

So I HC that, just like “love is the most twisted curse” he believed that “when you die, you die alone” based on his own lived experiences.

And for what reason did his greatest hurt/pain emerge? Why was he left behind…? Well, it was out of love.

Love really could make the most twisted of curses. It can bind someone to your soul. We know the parallels with Yuta & Rika and Gojo & Geto.

From HI we can delve deeper. For the sake of humanity, out of compassion and love, Geto became twisted and cursed himself by having crazy ideals that required him to sacrifice himself and humans. Out of love for Gojo, he also cursed them both to separation & loneliness. Out of love, Gojo was twisted himself, cursed as he couldn’t kill his friend, had chosen to abide by the principles and values shown to him, could not move on … and therefore this personal theory was born.

It of course got worse for Gojo (😭) and all hell broke loose when he had to kill his beloved bff but couldn’t let his corpse go.

Sigh.

Love is also salvation though. Gojo made sure Geto didn’t die alone. And Haibara made sure Nanami didn’t. Maybe Nanami made sure Haibara didn’t all the way back then too.

When Gojo died, Geto picked him up.

Love also gave meaning and purpose. It drives humanity. But it was also a curse and Gojo theorised right.

Maybe the two beliefs are linked, in that if you didn’t know love (humanity?) you might die alone, with regret. If you hung onto love and lived purposefully with humanity in mind, you might die a good death.

Who knows what themes Gege is cooking...

Thoughts? Feel free to comment or reblog with them!

[googledetective]

my thoughts about the new drdt episode...

I want to start off that this episode has not left me in a great mental state and this piece of fiction is starting to effect my reality in a negative way, currently. I do suffer from mental health issues, so please be sympathetic. If something I say seems too emotional or a bit off, that's likely why. My therapist will be hearing about drdt, lol. No hate towards drdt, it's an amazing project, and I'm amazed at how the piece of fiction is able to make me react in such a way.

1. I am not educated on ASPD or anything like that, so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me. I had a feeling that Levi likely had it from his secret, but this is a cool confirmation. I like that this is represented in a really great way, and that the reactions to his confessions are also very realistic. I like Levi a lot, but now I understand him so much more, and it makes me really appreciate him.

2. I find it interesting how Levi is so detached, as Veronika said, to everything. Even if I was not capable of remorse, I would've remembered killing my own father. I wonder what his father did to be so looked down upon.

2.5. OKAY SO HES KINDA JUST LIKE ME FR. like I stated previously I've had some bad mental health issues in the past to the point I've kicked windshields of cars in and attacked people. It is not my proudest moment, but holy shit I can relate to this a lot. It makes me so good to see someone who's done shit like I've done who's trying to change.

3. Ace really did care about Levi and considered him a friend, which warmed and broke my heart at the same time. I really hope Ace finds another friend, because he deserves to feel some comfort and joy. I hope he learns about Levi's ASPD and realizes Levi has no malicious intent towards him. I find it nice that Ace did really trust and look up to Levi though, it proves him capable of friendship and deeper feelings that people usually overlook. Great complex character.

4. I was shocked that Levi sided with David, but honestly I do too. David is a good person, and we see that later in the ep where he doesn't tell Eden what Arei said.

5. J CALLED OUT HU??? UNEXPECTED. called her a stupid argument moderator. Interesting. I love you J, but watch it.

6. Veronika's secret isn't the worst thing she's ever done- interesting. I think it could be the thing she's the most ashamed of, but you never know. It really breaks my heart for Hu, and I hope we get a backstory on her soon.

I'm coming back after point 14 and adding this: these secrets don't seem to be any of the worst things they've ever done, nor relevant to the killing game (besides "Xander's"). These secrets are personal. I think they each have worse secrets but they are too related to the killing game so they couldn't give those out.

7. Excuse you, David. Freaky ass.

8. that is NOT Teruko's secret 😭😭😭

9. This is seriously rich coming from J, as she usually escalates the situation.

10. Eden's monologue broke my heart. I am so glad David lied to her at the end, or I think Eden's heart would've been broken. This just makes me so sad.

11. "That maybe there would be a world in which we would be friends." I'm sure there would be, since your fans have created worlds that you're dating her.

12. Arei needs to genuinely shut up. This is where I get very upset and irrational. I am so fucking mad at Arei for lying to Eden. For the rest of Eden's life she's going to be wondering what she could've done or if her friendship was enough. Why the fuck would you lie and say you believed you could change, only to come back and admit you know you can't. My heart breaks for Arei though, because I believe she could've changed. This especially makes me so upset because as a previously bad person who relates to Arei and tries to change, I feel like I'm going to give up hope to do so too. Obviously I gotta overpower and not let fiction effect my reality, but it really hurts.

13. Arei's worldview that nobody is a good person mirrors David's (though David excludes Xander). Makes me really sad. I can hope, but there's really no hope left.

14. Well we know who attacked Xander (what the actual fuck). I hope we learn how that ties in later. Eden's hidden quote, "you can never go back, no matter how hard you try." maybe it's referring to this incident instead of the situationship with her friends in the past.

15. Love this.

16. WE HAD A JRUKO MOMENT!!! So happy about this!!!

17. Why the actual fuck does Whit know so much about how that hanging mechanism would work. You're making yourself look so suspicious. High and low were highlighted, which was interesting.

18. Whit said this murder would've been hard if Arei wasn't a willing victim. If she was, this just makes this case even more tragic. She may have convinced herself to give up hope and cooperated with the killer, which pains me a lot. I think this was due to David's secret.

19. I love the carousel bit! And the banter between Arturo and Whit. They had banter last trial too, so that's a continuation. Maybe they'll have a confrontation in the future.

20. NICO FUCKED BRO

21. At this point my only logical conclusion of who I think the killer could be is J.

22. Everyone is bringing up Ace's friend- Taylor! It's seriously throwing me for a loop bc that's my name!

ENDING:

To clarify, I think it's sad that Arei believes she can't change and even started doubting Eden.

[problemnyatic]

Unfriendly, very sharp reminder that your identity does not actually preclude you from subscribing to oppressive, conservative worldviews. I see a staggering number of people who argue very conservative points, but they use progressive language, and have carved out a niche in their beliefs that allow them (and people exactly like them) to exist, so theyre totally progressive bro trust me.

If your beliefs about what rights people should have, who is allowed to exist in public, and what is "valid" to be are rooted in ANY way in your sense of disgust, propriety, politeness, or any other thing like that, instead of in carefully thought-out logic that is aware of the actual real world history and current state of human rights and how they are in jeapordy? You're not being progressive, you're being conservative, but this time the road is paved with extra double good intentions.

If real human diversity is to exist, if human rights are to become truly universal and inaliable, you are going to need to envision a world where you are made uncomfortable, and you will need to learn to be *glad* for that, because that discomfort will be a sign that your worldview is being expanded.

Using the language of consent, of civility, of fairness, of "common sense," to make points that boil down to "I just don't think people should x/y/z, I am uncomfortable with the idea of people being x where I can see it, I just think the bad ones should let the good ones set themselves apart," is violence. It is the very same tactics white liberals have been using for decades to argue down civil rights and human rights as disruptive, and thus bad.

Human beings fuck. We have kinky sex together. We eat food that you can't imagine enjoying. We talk in ways that sound like home to one of us and like nonsense to another. We look different than you. Act different than you. Believe things you find reprehensible. This is a good thing and should be celebrated.

if you think it is reasonable to ask any minority, even and especially another of your community, to be more presentable for our oppressors, or hide ourselves for the sake of the image of the "good ones," to be careful about "confirming the biases" of people who have always thought that x y z minorities are subhuman, then you have not actually done the work of unlearning the conservative rhetoric you were raised on, and you are poisoning the human rights movement as a whole.

Fight for a world that doesn't conform to you. It's the only way you'll know for sure that other people are allowed to exist as freely as yourself, and the only way to ensure you'll be allowed to be you, too.

[serpentface]

What exactly are living gods in the blightseed universe?

Ok here's the (DANGEROUSLY vestigial at this point) Meta Deeplore:

There is a material form of energy that is utilized by biological bodies essentially as an animating force. This IS the vaguely defined, extremely ambiguous magic in the setting. It is what produces the actual experience of Consciousness and can be basically considered 1:1 with conscious experience. All life utilizes this energy (whether actually conscious life in the traditional sense or not).

It cannot be created or destroyed, and rather follows pathways of dispersal between one material plane and a parallel plane. This parallel plane is 'the ether' 'the dreamlands' etc, and has its own matter. Discrete entities from the dreamlands are essentially formed as a byproduct of consciousness and, when interacted with, are deeply susceptible to the influence of conscious Thought (they are essentially matter organized By consciousness and can be reorganized by consciousness)

These are the entities that can become living gods. Dreamlands fauna occasionally slips into prime material reality, at which point they are directly under the influence of consciousness and can be transformed. Dreamlands fauna in of itself is not directly perceivable but produces a sense of Presence, like the feeling of being watched when alone in the wilderness, a 'third man effect', a sense of inexplicable awe or fear, seeing shadows from the corner of your eye, etc. The combination of their tangible effects and their susceptibility to consciousness creates a self-reinforcing cycle that produces living gods.

IE: if one is on a forest and people experience the sensation of its presence, belief that there is some entity there may develop. This will follow the lines of the cultural worldview- say there are already beliefs in spectral hounds that encounter travelers at night, it might be interpreted as a location-specific hound, given a name and identity through stories. This in turn causes the dreamlands fauna to physically embody that form and the assumed qualities, and people will start having absolute materially real encounters with it, thus reinforcing the initial beliefs that created it and generating new elements of the mythology. This is what a living god is.

They need persistent, localized, and coherent beliefs to hold their forms. If a village creates a living god and is then wiped out in a disaster, the god will gradually lose its form and return to its initial state of a sense of Presence. This is also a limiting factor on the 'size' and power of a living god, if an entire religion formed around it and became a widespread phenomena, the living god itself cannot 'keep up'. It is sustained on direct and localized interactions, so belief becoming widely dispersed (especially if the localized belief is lost) will cause it to gradually become less discrete. The effect of this property is that living gods are almost always minor deities or spirits tied to a specific location by a specific nearby culture. A lot of deities in larger religions may have once had a living god component that is now indiscrete.

The living god of the Ur-tree is an unusual exception in that it was created over millennia, basically by the survival instincts of the Plants it interacts with, and has held its form over hundreds of millions of years due to this being ubiquitous and un-susceptible to cultural change. The only thing that could 'kill it' is if its forest was entirely destroyed.

So 99% of living gods can be described as thoughtforms created by the process of folkloric/religious development. They are created BY people and not the other way around, and nothing about their nature confirms or denies the existence of other deities or etc.

And yeah I'm going to be 100% real I am REALLY tempted to dump even this extremely ambiguous magical element like it is soooooooooooooooo fucking NOT important to the setting at this point. I've kind of allowed 'literal god entities created by mortal belief' to be just a tiny part of the world's fabric by their nature, like it works within the worldbuilding for such a hugely significant concept to ultimately be insignificant in the overall framework, so I COULD just Leave It but idk. If it were not for me wanting to still have my big fucking god tree and a talking dog as an actual character it would be out of here soooo fast..........

[platinum-iridium]

i need us all to be more skeptical of random online stories with no corroboration. especially if they confirm your existing worldview

[waltzingwithyourenemyattheball]

PICK A CARD: WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL?

Top Left: Pile 1; Top Right: Pile 2; Bottom: Pile 3

Disclaimer:

🪈 Take what resonates and leave the rest

🪈 Disclaimer in highlight applies here

🪈 Thank you for letting me read for you, it has been a pleasure

🪈Personal readings are paid only.

🪈No one is allowed to copy my work under any circumstances.

This is written from the perspective of the divine feminine.

🤍111🤍

Love. The way you love people, how you pour love into everything you do, very soft energy, something not many people have. You were kissed by the sunrise, bringing light, the sun summoner if I may say so, yet your light is not harsh, it I snot the scorching sun one needs to shade away from, you are the shade when necessary, you provide warmth and coolness, I see how you love yourself and others is purifying, like how you see a child smile and you smile with them. Your presence ? Healing. Keep this essence within you, this is Radha Maa helping others through you. It is not easy to bring love and light when you have received thorns and shadows, it is not. You understand how it feels, and the heart is always ready to take another into your arms, an admiring quality, this is what makes you beautiful. You are the essence of beauty itself. Never change, never forgot to love yourself too, be kind to yourself as you are to other, as forgiving and ever ready to love someone from a fresh eye every time. Your sacral and solar plexus is important. Navel is emphasised, do massage your stomach with oil while affirming from time to time. You are the anchor to the ship that is swaying away in the ocean, there is always home within you. You are every ready to sieze the moment, you might be the one’s to say 

‘Life is to short for this, so I am gonna go ahead and do it anyway’ 

‘Better regret the action you have taken than the one you have not’

Comment ‘111’ to claim.

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🥀222🥀

Your passion and hunger make you beautiful. The way you charge at your target makes you beautiful. You have enough zeal to power motors to run, and yet there would be enough left for you. If you have seen Bahubali, there is scene in the 1st movie where watching Bahubali fight, others get inspired. This is the reaction people have to you. You inspire them to do better, even if you don’t get to see it, know that by simply being the way you are, you are healing humanity. You belong here. You deserve to be here. Take up space for that space if yours to take, there is no lack only abundance coming your way. Once you take a project, you finish it. You like variety and may have said the “spice is the flavour of life’. It again confirming, you also act as a guide for people, the way you talk, your ideas can shift people’s worldview. You might be the perfect person to endorse a movie or product because of the way you speak about it would have people wanting more. A good salesman (use this ability for the good). You are the bell that people hear when they have lost track of how life is supposed to be lived. If you open a social media, and talk about this stuff, lead by example, you would be successful in that too. You could also act like a consultant to sorts where you are helping people choose something, decide something, doesn’t have to be a profession.

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☾333☾

Unconventional in the conventional. You might have an ordinary job or do ordinary things is different non-ordinary, creative way. This makes you happy. That is what makes you beautiful. Bringing colour and fun to the most mundane things, you find beauty in everything. Could be super into DIY’s or a least into it. You might be the type to have creative hobbies like painting just for the sake of it, simply because you like to do it. Abundant in nature, could be scrapbooking or journaling especially art journalling. This is what makes you beautiful. You are traditional with a twist. I sense some art majors here, like painting people live like the olden days but the painting itself is modern? Take it as it resonates. A muse to many. You find yourself in poetry, dances almost like they were made for you, it’s because they were, and many more will come regardless of whether you know about the art pieces or not. You will be alive long after you are gone, in the art you made, in the pieces that were made because of you. A lot would not exist if you didn’t. You are absolutely, undeniably beautiful. I love you. What makes you the most beautiful is the faith you have, in yourself, Paramatma, the universe. You do everything with so much faith that it shocks people. People might stare at you when you are not looking, you are the best art you will ever create. Read: Strongest of the Strange by Charles Bukoweski. Some of you could be sculptures or painters of Bhakti and Religious Art. 

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EL TAROT

[ninadove]

As a (very niche portion of the) fandom, our collective attention has been captured by how much Felix adores Kagami — which is true and good and beautiful and pure. But we’ve been sleeping on how much she loves him, and today, I want to shine a spotlight on her side of the most beautiful love story ever written.

Before we begin, let me get the obvious out of the way: yes, she did try to crush his skull with a chair in Pretension, and she was iconic for that.

HOWEVER.

This is only how their relationship started. What truly matters is how the story unfolds from then on.

And boy does it unfold fast. By the end of the episode, Felix has shaken Kagami’s worldview so much that she:

Stands up to her own friends and fellow heroes in an effort to not only protect him, but also ensure that he can keep the Peacock Miraculous;

Actively challenges her mother’s teaching that emotions (in this context, romantic love) are a weakness that should be eradicated from the face of the Earth;

Is planning secret dates with Felix, even though as far as she knows Tomoe has her amok (because you can’t tell me this little genius didn’t figure out the entire Sentilore in the sewers);

Trusts Felix with said amok despite his extensive criminal record, as illustrated by how quickly and firmly she takes his hand — with a little sigh if happiness, might I add. This is especially significant compared to previous instances of hand holding between the two, when he had to make all the effort while she remained completely limp.

And then Representation rolls around. And oh, boy.

Kagami instantly calms down from her TV-induced rage upon seeing her boyfriend on her balcony — a major improvement when you consider how big of a role anger and frustration play in her akumatisations.

Tangent 1:

Something similar happened in Ikari Gozen, when Mari protected Kagami from her mother, causing her to narrowly escape Hawkmoth’s influence. More on the Marigami-to-Feligami pipeline in another post, coming to your dash someday in the not-so-distant future.

Not only does Kagami instantly relax in Felix’s presence, but she laughs — something that previously only happened in the context of Adrigaminette, and we all know how that ended. Felix is the one to mend her heart and make her laugh again, for the second time since the dance.

Our two lovebirds proceed to straight up RUN AWAY INTO THE SUNSET. Kagami presumably spent the following 350 km (300 miles) cuddled up in Argos’ arms, admiring how handsome he looks in his glittery cosmic suit which we don’t get to see because budget.

Later on, they casually discuss Ladybug’s identity, while fireworks go off in the background. Let me rephrase this: Kagami trusted the person who stole the Miraculous with her best friend’s most burning secret, not because she wants to defeat Hawkmoth per say, but because Gabriel has been getting in the way of their make out sessions and she can’t have that.

Tangent 2:

Also coming to your dash in the not-so-distant future: an analysis of Kagami’s relationship to the concepts of truth and lies, and how dependent it is on what serves her and her loved ones in the moment.

Then, of course, the core of the episode: Kagami actively participates in the play, helping Felix tell his story in a way he feels comfortable with.

Tangent 3 (lots of ‘em today):

This part is extremely important to me, because I’ve seen So. Many. People. complain that the play could have been boiled down to two lines of conversation.

And like.

No???

Firstly, this is a show, not real life: we as an audience needed the confirmation to be as climactic as possible. If it hadn’t been, I can guarantee the exact same salters would be crying about the story’s “WaStEd PoTeNtIaL”.

But let’s delve into the real life implications of the Sentiplot for a second.

Abuse survivors do not owe you a brief, comfortable explanation of what they went through, neatly wrapped up with a pretty little bow.

The play is a beautiful illustration of how art can be cathartic and therapeutic, and I need you guys to understand that this sequence means something to many, many viewers — most of them children in similarly terrible situations. If I were to bet, I would say it very likely speaks to one or more members of the writing team on a personal level as well.

So you can pry these scenes from my cold, dead hands.

The kisses… All of them… During the firework show. As the sun rises to signify a new beginning. Disguised as Adrien’s parents. For context, this is the same girl who previously found a hand kiss to be too much for her broken heart to bear.

And of course, there’s the way she looks at him like he is her entire world, like she cannot understand how anyone could ever call him monstruous. Because Felix doesn’t get the monopoly of heart eyes.

Finally, in Recreation:

THE LIES CALLBACK. THE MIRACULOUS TEAM TOOK THE TIME AND MADE THE EFFORT TO PUT A LIES CALLBACK IN THE FREAKING FINALE. You guys know I’m insane about this scene already.

So what’s my point.

Because yes, I do have a point, apart from “KSSGDJDKSS Feligami SGDHDKLS 🥰🥰🥰🥰” (which, by the way, is a completely valid meta post in itself).

While we joke that Kagami is so far out of Felix’s league in every aspect — she doesn’t perceive him that way in the slightest. As far as she’s concerned, she has achieved every fourteen year old’s dream: dating the perfect cursed prince, tortured artist, evil-genius-on-a-redemption-arc combo.

She is just as enamoured with him as he is with her, and I think it’s beautiful. 🦚🐉

[1moreff-creator]

Do you have any Teruvid headcanons??? If so... *Grabby hands* 🥺👉👈

Hey! Man, Teruvid, huh? Well, I have to be honest and say I don’t know if I fully grasp what the dynamic would be like, but I’ll see what I can do! Non-despair AU as always, just to keep consistency with my other ship posts :v Or, perhaps a better term would be "non-killing game AU"; it's hard to imagine Teruvid without despair lmao.

CW: Toxic relationship, gaslighting.

How this relationship would start is hard to imagine, really. Especially outside the stress of the killing game. Teruko never believed David’s cheery persona was real, so she didn’t like the guy from the start.

However, outside of the killing game, David wouldn’t be actively trying to kill anyone, and Xander and Teruko would probably still be friends, so it actually works out better than expected. Presumably, the way this works outside the killing game is that David eventually realizes Teruko doesn’t believe his façade and chooses to start dropping it around her, eventually enjoying her company just because he doesn’t have to keep up a tiring act. Teruko doesn’t like him at first, so I imagine it would be David confessing. Something like, uh...

David: We both know no one will ever love us the way we are. And we won’t love each other either, and this is going to end horribly.  Teruko: Then why the hell are you even asking? David: It’s for your benefit, you know. More than anyone else, you must be well aware your luck will ruin any relationship you ever have. Teruko: … David (fake smiling, stars in eyes): But most of them will try to be optimistic, won’t they? Thinking themselves above your luck, wishing that if they just try hard enough, this time, it will work out. How hopeful~. Teruko: … And? David (smirking): And that just means it will hurt them all the worse when it all comes crashing down. And you'll feel even more miserable after all's said and done than you did in the first place. That wouldn't happen with me. Not that I'll let you, but you wouldn't care if you hurt me anyways.

Yeah I can’t see this relationship being healthy in any way lmao.

Like, they hate each other even together, that’s the Vision of Teruvid shippers right? They would both be miserable the entire time it’s happening, since they both reinforce the worst and most damaging views the other holds. If the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker can’t even inspire himself to think things can get better, then Teruko has no reason to believe they will. And if Teruko never tries to change despite hating her life, then that confirms to David that people can’t change. The relationship is held together by the illusory comfort of confirmation bias; neither has to challenge their worldviews like they would in a relationship that genuinely made them happy, so they feel at peace in their shared misery.

Speaking of, the most common intimate interaction is venting to each other about whatever bullshit they got going on, be it unfortunate events or Speaker business annoyance. Now, neither is particularly good at giving comfort, but they’re also both bad at receiving it (they don’t understand the concept that people can feel genuine affection towards them, of course), so they settle on just… not comforting each other. Just a simple “sucks” after a long rant, or even laughing at each other’s misery, but again, illusory comfort in being able to vent out their issues without having someone actually worry and care for them, because they don’t know how to handle that.

Other than that, lots of just cuddling while doing random shit. They’re both horrendously touch starved, so they never stay physically apart if possible.

That said, though, they’re not very public with their relationship. Obviously; if Teruko never seemed to like David, then they’re suddenly together, that’s gonna raise a few eyebrows. And David still tries to keep up the Speaker persona outside his one on one interactions with Teruko, a persona that Teruko dislikes due to its disingenuity, so they never really hang out in the presence of others.

Their closest friends know, except none of them actually realize that David’s persona is a lie. They think they’re keeping it quiet not to attract attention to Teruko, given David is a public figure and all. Because of that, they actually think they’re good for each other, thinking that David’s optimism and Teruko’s pessimism balance out to be pretty functional. This fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship makes David and Teruko both feel even more alienated from their friends, which feeds into the codependency. They need each other, because they’re the only ones that get it.

Indeed, this is a serious “they would make each other so much worse” situation, I can’t see Teruvid in any other way. Unless they both get some serious therapy, and even then, the way I’ve described the relationship, it would fall apart if either of them were any more stable. So, uh, yeah.

I kinda struggle to come up with much more than this for these two, so I hope that was okay! Thanks for the ask!

[nottskyler]

Dear President Russell M Nelson,

Congratulations on making it to 100. I know it was a significant goal for you and you worked hard both physically and spiritually to make it this far. I know there are a lot of things outside our control to having a long life, but it also takes work.

Thank you for the challenge to read the Book of Mormon before the year was out back in 2018. My life has been irrevocably changed for the better for following that counsel. I learned much about myself and the world and Gd’s plan for me and began a path of repentance that has brought me closer to Christ and brought joy into a life that was characterized by despair before.

And that is simply a personal way that I know you are called of Gd to be our prophet. It is very clear how you were prepared to lead the Church at this time, especially with how your responses to revelation prepared the Church for the pandemic. A pandemic following a change in policy that barred me from sharing the joy that I found by following your counsel. It is sometimes hard to reconcile the exclusionary policy that you have permitted to be put in place under your leadership with my testimony that you are a prophet of Gd because following your counsel led me to Christ and the good things that come from repentance.

It is the same juxtaposition of you having a medical degree and then claiming that life (when the spirit enters the body) begins at conception because a unique genetic code was created. Conception comes before the medical definition of pregnancy which is before the latest point identical twins can be formed. Identical twins are clearly two different spirits with the same genetic code. The truth we learn from science is giving a different truth than the one that you claimed in your press conference on the reversal of roe v wade.

Not to harp on something you said one time not even during General Conference, but I was finally pregnant after years of infertility and it seemed to mock my pain of late periods and failed fertility treatments. I came to the conclusion that you were wrong and speaking your personal opinion and not the thoughts and feelings of Heavenly Father or our Savior Jesus Christ. A conclusion that many would think contradicts my previous statement about believing that you are a prophet of Gd.

But to believe that the prophets can do no wrong is idolatry. To claim that the truth is only what prophets have confirmed first is priestcraft. This is not the Lord’s way who said: “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” (John 7:17); “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.” (Matthew 7:20). Or even Moroni closing his addition to the Book of Mormon “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:5) and “For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.” (Moroni 7:15).

Besides, how can we be fit for the Celestial Kingdom if we, as individuals of the Church, are to surrender our agency to you and never learn how to discern truth for ourselves. You set yourself up as the king of the Church when you say you are the only source of truth. Then all the sins of those who follow you without question become stains on your garments.

It is a difficult task to reconcile these types of mistakes with someone upholding a high calling that presumably has direct access to Gd, but then I realized that the traditions of our fathers was what made me ignore Gd telling me to repent much earlier than the 2018 Book of Mormon reading challenge. False traditions drain true intent and curiosity when you ask Gd because you feel confident that you know the answer and so you study with bias to confirm your worldview and you don’t have intent to do anything different if the answer isn’t what you expect. False traditions frame revelation so that you ignore key pieces because your mind fills in the default expectation instead of what actually exists in the revelation. In the end, I’m glad that I’m a nobody who only has to deal with the consequences of my own actions instead of being in your shoes where my same mistakes would’ve cause much more damage and would’ve been much harder to change direction when I learned I was wrong.

So I pray that your mind will be open to look past the false traditions of our fathers, to be open to the testimony of those othered by the Church organization. I pray that you realize that what you are doing is priestcraft so that you will swiftly repent and put effort into making sure you aren’t standing between us and Christ. I pray that you will repent in this life so you can share our joy.

Sincerely,

nottskyler

[nothorses]

The worst part of trying to talk about my experiences as a trans man is worrying that I’m not remembering it right, or it wasn’t that bad, or I’m being manipulative, or like I’m driven by secret prejudices and if I just recognized them then I’d immediately see that my life is fine. The longer it goes on the more I feel like I hallucinated it or dreamed up a memory to confirm … idk what. Do you or anyone else have advice about that? Other than “you can do whatever you want forever, hit the bricks” because intellectually I do get that but in practice I feel really lonely and “whatever I want” all alone sucks.

I've experienced a lot of that self-doubt as well, and I very much relate. I think what has helped me the most, over time, is:

a) Repeated confirmation & validation of my own memory, and

b) Understanding why someone might invalidate my memory in the first place

Pretty much in that order!

What that looked like for me was starting to write things down, or talk about them to someone else when they happened, and then going back to remember those things later when the memory felt less tangible. When I look back on the things I've written especially, it feels genuinely crazy to me that I ever forgot how severe some of those experiences were, and even crazier that I allowed someone to convince me I was wrong about them. When I had that experience multiple times, and over time, I started to learn that I could trust myself more than I had previously been taught to.

Understanding the reasons someone might have for doing this was also helpful! Humans are fallible, and our memories can become distorted over time, and it's important to remember that other people are just as likely to make mistakes as we are. They might legitimately believe they're right, and not be. You probably aren't more or less likely to do that than anyone else is; and if you are more likely to do that, the answer still isn't to just assume you're always wrong, because you're not always wrong- nobody is!

Other people are also just as likely as you are to be influenced by their own personal biases. Consider what's at stake for people who might want you to be wrong about your own memories: what kind of fear might they be feeling? What kind of guilt will they have to grapple with if they're forced to change their worldview?

I don't think it's ever a good idea to completely shut out all possible criticism or possibility that you're wrong, but it's just as unhealthy to be completely incapable of trusting yourself. The solution lies in the nuance, in holding both truths at once: you might be wrong, but you also might be right. What's more likely? Who is most likely to know the truth, or at least be closer to it? How can you check? What biases are present for you and others involved? How can you check them, and keep them in check?

I find that working through it this way- with the nuance included- is genuinely more reassuring to me than if I were to try to just throw out all possibility of being wrong.

I don't know how helpful that is to you, but hopefully something in there is useful!! Good luck!

[edennill]

thoughts on númenórean kings — ar-adunakhor:

taking an adunaic regnal name was breaking custom, but nothing wrong per se. as a symbolic act, in conjunction with everything else that was happening, it left the faithful uneasy, but on it's own... finrod might have applauded.

the meaning of the adunaic regnal name was specifically calculated to shock, and was a fairly accurate representation of what adunakhor thought of himself. that was less okay.

(there was a rumour that the lord of andunie fainted when he heard it. he didn't, but he politely excused himself from the rest of the proceedings under the pretence of sickness and the gossip mill took that and ran.)

and then adunakhor banned the teaching of elven tongues. which were an intrinsic part of the culture for half the isle.

(to elaborate, speaking them at home was not yet forbidden; teaching them to your children officially was, but no one paid it much attention... giving actual lessons was punished with disproportionate harshness and speaking them in public buildings, especially school, was a very easy way to lose your position/be expelled.

he walks a fine line between his natural snobbishness, and the wish to portray himself as a friend of the people, both externally and internally.

he really thinks of himself as a protector, a nurturer, a student of their customs. but at the same time, he exists within a worldview that proclaims the lower classes are there to serve the aristocracy. he is personally uneasy with these contradictions sometimes, but not enough to try changing anything.

and yes, he has an absolute passion for history of the edain — but the official narrative has been severely bastardised at this point, and when he reaches for the original sources, he is only looking for confirmation of his own theses, so the "history" part is somewhat doubtful.

still, the historical propaganda he commissions is at least artistically impeccable.

this whole thing is probably not going to interest anyone except me, but I came upon one of these king's-men-leaning blogs from ten years ago and read a characterisation for him that... well, it works very well as what he would have personally seen himself as, but doesn't stand on it's own imo. I might make these for the other kings one day or another.

[theboywithburninghands]

So uh... in my last story I sorta implied Pomni was autistic. This is the story that confirms it. I wanted to explore more of her worldview and how she might find ways to pass the time. So this is what came out of it. It's a bit short, but it's personal and sweet and I think you'll like it. Lists T/W: profanity in some of the linked songs? I guess? I hope anyone who reads my stuff has heard the word fuck or shit before...

Pomni paced about her room. Pacing helped her think. She was here indefinitely, and while her boyfriend and girlfriend kept her from slipping too far into existential despair, boredom was a whole different animal. So, after racking her brain for several hours one evening after dinner, she finally settled on the one idea that would offer instant gratification.  

Lists. Lists of what? Well, any kind of list. Chronological lists, best to worst lists and vice-versa, top 100 lists… something about them scratched a hot red itch in her brain. Information could be so overwhelming when it was just flopped in front of you, especially in huge portions. If it was broken up piece by piece based on certain categories, it was far more digestible. You didn’t shove an entire pizza in your mouth, after all, you cut it into slices. Being able to break something down was not only comforting, but satisfying. Maybe that’s why she was so good with numbers…

So, Pomni went to Gangle. She had plenty of paper. Most of her room was covered with drawings of all sorts, done in crayon, colored pencil, watercolors, magic marker, even the odd charcoal. 

“Sure, I can lend you some paper…” Gangle had said with a timid but pleasantly surprised smile. “I didn’t know you liked drawing too, Pomni.” 

Pomni laughed a little. “Um, actually, I was going to make a journal. To keep up with all of the wild stuff that goes on around here, you know…?” 

“Oh, okay! That’s a good idea! I don’t know if I have any regular pencils, but I have some black colored ones. Would that be okay..?” 

Pomni had told her it was perfectly fine, and she went back to her room with ten big sheets of sketchbook paper, three black colored pencils and a red twist sharpener. She made a makeshift desk, the flat side of one of the oversized building blocks in her room and another building block for a chair. No real lumbar support, but eh. Her body was a bunch of pixels anyway. She set her things down tidily, placed one of the sheets in the middle of her desk, and began to write.

She tapped her pencil on her desk. Man, it felt good to have something to fiddle with while she thought… She decided to start with a profile of every other performer in the circus. She began by writing out a quick template, something she could use as a reference so every profile followed the same pattern. After some thinking, she came up with this: 

Name: Their name (duh)

Potential Real Name: Educated guesses on what their real name was before they came here

Likes: Hobbies, favorite foods and candies, favorite people 

Dislikes: Fears, least favorite foods and candies, anything else that bugs them 

Musical Taste: Music I’ve heard them listen to on Layla, or if I’ve asked them. 

*Hobby Related Stuff: See asterisk

Personality: What they’re like. What they’re like to me, others, etc.

*Variable, only if needed for major hobbies

Things like gender or age didn’t matter since she already knew all of those by heart. Personality would be the biggest category obviously… well, the only way to see if it satisfied her was to try it.

So she started with the first person that popped into her head.

Name: Jax 

Potential Real Name(s): Jackson/Jack, John/Jonathan/Johnny, Max/Maxwell, Braxton, First initial J, middle initial A, last initial X, Alexander/Alex, Xavier

Likes: Me, Ragatha, practical jokes, spaghetti and meatballs, lock picking, bowling, Nerds Rope

Dislikes: Corn, bad dreams, condescension, authority, anime, Ayn Rand, black licorice

Musical Taste: Radiohead, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Foster the People, Soundgarden, Garbage (the artist), Linkin Park, Flyleaf, whoever wrote that song “Pepper,” Big Black, Bad Brains

Personality: Formerly a bitter, selfish assho-

Hm…

Pomni stopped to think. She had never tried actually writing down a swear word here before. They were never censored in her head, thankfully, but as soon as they left her mouth they were filtered out. 

She picked up her template sheet and wrote “asshole” in the bottom left corner. A few moments later, a black censor bar appeared over it. Pomni smirked ruefully and went back to Jax’s profile, scribbling out the beginnings of her swear word and continuing. 

Personality: Formerly a bitter, selfish jerk. In fact, in some ways, he still is. One of the first adventures I ever went on with him, he threw me out a window between two moving trucks. He kept putting things like tacks and whoopee cushions on my chair at dinner, hid bugs in my room, he was awful…  A few months later, he let me come into his room and talked to me about the law of entropy… He actually said he was sorry for the way he treated me after that. Then he got me my favorite food (honey-glazed garlic salmon), down to the way I like it cooked. I kissed him. He kissed me back. We kissed a lot. We didn’t really know what we were for a while, but it got made clear pretty quickly that we both loved each other.  

Now he’s… better. Not perfect… no one is perfect, but… he’s grown a lot. I don’t know what changed. He told me once he acted like such a bully so people would forget about this whole purgatory situation and be mad at him instead of at the world. I didn’t believe that then and I still don’t. I could ask him, but I don’t know how he’d react. I guess I’ll wait and see.

Anyway. He’s great, really. Underneath that sandpapery outer shell, he’s just as vulnerable and human as the rest of us. He’s funny, he’s charming, he’s handsome… and most importantly, he’s genuine. I love him. 

Pomni smiled at this completed profile and set it aside. She paused to sharpen her colored pencil, the lead on the end worn down to a nub. After it was sufficiently sharp, she grabbed a fresh sheet of sketchbook paper, cracking her knuckles and fixing her posture before getting back to work. 

Name: Ragatha

Potential Real Name: Agatha, Raquelle, Ann/Anna/Annie, Annabelle, Agnes, Anya, Christie

Likes: All of us here- me included, horses, video games, ballet, hugs, stuffed animals.

Dislikes: Centipedes, circus peanuts, ripping her stitches… she doesn’t have a lot of dislikes.

Musical Taste: Aretha Franklin, Roberta Flack, Smokey Robinson, Tom Petty, Pink Floyd, OutKast, Kendrick Lamar, Joan Jett, Carole King

Video Games She Likes (Heavily Abridged): Dark Souls Trilogy, Final Fantasy VII, Legend of Zelda, Goldeneye, Spyro the Dragon, Bloodborne, Uncharted 2, Assassin’s Creed 2, tons more…

Personality: When I first got here, I thought Ragatha was just being nice to me because I was new. But she just… never stopped being nice. She always had my back, always had something encouraging to say… I left her behind like a coward the first day I was here and she didn’t give up on me. I look up to her.

She’s not perfect. She can be a bit arrogant without meaning to, and she used to let Jax walk all over her, but… well, things are a lot different with Jax now. And I think she helped in some way with that… 

I love her just as much as I love Jax. I couldn’t imagine life without her sweet smile and her cute laugh and her hugs. Oh my god, her hugs! I HATE hugs, but somehow she makes hers incredible. She’s incredible.

Pomni re-read the profile and grinned. Oh, this felt so GOOD. Being able to put her thoughts down and in the form of a neatly organized set of lists. Scraps of order in this world of never ending chaos… She needed to write more.

She sharpened her colored pencil again and started work on Gangle’s profile, breezing straight through it and moving on to the next person. Zooble’s profile wasn’t as complete as the other three so far, since Pomni didn’t know as much about them. She would just have to add more to it the more she found out about Zooble. 

She was a good ways into Kinger’s profile, adding Luna moth to his list of favorite insects, when her eyelids sagged. Pomni grunted and rubbed her eyes. Time must have really gotten away from her. She should ask Caine for a clock. Well… maybe not. Seeing time slowly creep by in this prison would probably do more harm than good. Either way, she must have been writing for an hour or two, it made sense for her to be tired. She went on an adventure that day. 

She decided to take a break, give her brain a chance to wander. She crossed her arms on her desk and laid her head atop them. Sketchbook paper always had a pleasant, ethereal smell to it, like a shaft of sunlight illuminating a shelf of old yellowed scrolls in a castle’s study. She loved that smell. Pomni felt even more at ease. She found something to pass the time, and nobody could stop her. She could write as many lists as she wanted, about anything she wanted. She closed her eyes, the warm, private dark behind her lids the perfect place to imagine what she could write next. 

Within minutes, she was asleep. 

——

The faint yet insistent song of birds woke Pomni up. She blearily opened her eyes, lifting her head up off of her arms, the spots on them where her head rested warm and flushed. Pomni reached a gloved hand to her right eye and rubbed it, something slipping off of her shoulders and drifting politely to the floor. She turned around to find her comforter rumpled about her chair. It must have been draped over her while she slept at her desk. Did she do that..? She turned back to her desk.

 It took her eyes a moment to defog, but everything on her desk was right where she left it, Kinger’s profile stopping at Luna moth. She stretched, a yawn bubbling up and escaping her mouth. She picked her blanket up and made her bed, tempted to flop right back down onto it and get some more sleep. But she needed to organize her things first. 

She yawned into her palm and picked up the completed profiles, tapping the sheaf of papers on her improvised desk so they fell into order. She blinked and examined the top sheet. It was written in purple colored pencil, not her black one, and it definitely wasn’t her handwriting. She held it a bit closer.

Name: Pomni

Potential Real Name: No idea

Nicknames: Pompom, Poms, New Stuff, Newbie, Shorty, Clownface, Jingles

Likes: Jax and Ragatha, Salmon and rice, number puzzles, swimming, long walks, lemon drops, fudge ripple ice cream, cuddling

Dislikes: Hugs from strangers, snakes, spicy candies, cooking, whoopee cushions

Musical Taste: U2, Coldplay, Snow Patrol, Marina and The Diamonds, Regina Spektor, Keane, Ariana Grande, Corinne Bailey Rae, Duffy

Personality: Pomni shouldn’t have lasted long here. She’s a nervous wreck that’s prone to crying, depression, overstimulation and anxiety attacks. We were all a little worried she would abstract early. 

But she never did. She showed everyone that not only is she tougher than she looks, she’s smart as a whip and one of the most courageous people any of us have ever met. She’s a great friend to everyone, and never gave up on even the people here that seemed beyond help.

We all love you, Pomni. 

Pomni set the piece of paper down on her desk. She rubbed her eyes again, her glove coming away flecked with water. She got everything organized, sliding her paper and pencils under her bed. She took the sheet with purple handwriting, folded it neatly, and tucked it into her pillowcase. She rubbed her eyes again, sighed shakily, and opened the door to her room, ready to meet the sunrise. 

[nkn0va]

Chef anon here. I had this idea Izanami having a kid with her s/o. Probably by accident. But imagine how it would flip her whole worldview. Like she's supposed to be the god of death but here she is literally creating life.

This is quite the unexpected meal you've cooked up, chef, quite strange indeed. I actually had a ton of fun writing this surprisingly, I don't know how but it was. Keep cookin' like this, this got me over my writer's block like a charm.

-For this to happen you're definitely gonna need to be a guy. No offense to any ladies out there (are you even out there reading my work?), but accidental pregnancies typically do not happen in Yuri.

-This was something that really should not have happened. It did happen though when Izanami was feeling rather frisky on one particular night. Those less than pure urges finally started to surface once you started dating her which certainly took her by surprise. It was an...interesting night to say the least.

-What was even stranger however was the next couple of weeks after that. She started experiencing strange symptoms of...something. Her suspicions were only confirmed when she sensed life inside of her, something that didn't normally happen. This only meant one thing...

-Izanami hadn't bothered with protection that night. She believed that being a living Drive and the embodiment of death itself meant that this was physically impossible. Yet somehow it was possible.

-She had zero idea how to go about this. Granted she wouldn't have much trouble hiding this, she almost never made public appearances as the Imperator anyway, but this completely went against her very nature and her goal.

-When you found out about this however, you were quite happy, much to her surprise, especially if you know about her goal to destroy the Master Unit and end the world.

-The child is born away from the public eye. The only help is nurses personally selected by Izanami herself and they're under very strict orders to not tell anyone of this. This is probably the first time she actually feels pain. It's not what she was expecting, in a rather intriguing way.

-Due to being a Drive, it only takes her but a few hours to recover once she tells the nurses they can go and she's back at it like nothing ever happened. She heads back to her quarters to see you there caring for the baby as it's asleep, admiring and treasuring it. You greet Izanami with a smile and immediately start listing off possible names you were thinking of.

-For the first time in her existence, she doesn't really know what to do. This isn't meant to be her purpose, yet upon seeing how ecstatic you were at having a little one in your life, she eventually decided that it was at the very least worth a shot. She already gave you a chance after all, even if she still planned to carry out her mission.

-However as time goes on, she actually comes to genuinely care for this child she's given life to, even if by accident. She'd heard stories of parenthood changing people in unexpected ways, but she never expected said ways to be so drastic, let alone to even happen to her in the first place.

-She's expectedly pretty clueless on how to care for a child at first, she needs you around to show her the ropes so that she doesn't accidentally kill it. The fact that this is a genuine worry only gives her even more of an existential crisis.

-She's more torn than she ever has been in her life. Her goal was to always bring an end to this pointless looping world that the Origin had let go on for far too long. She'd always reasoned that this goal was justified because of this phenomenon making all of existence completely meaningless. But with both you and her own child in the picture now...

-...Now she's not so sure.