#especially if he was passive aggressive about it

[urlocaldesertdweller]

if you are available to take requests that Prime reader encounter with starscream that the reader couldn't help but teasing starscream with affection or prime reader being dominant over sentinel prime in power as reader always ordered sentinel prime around

Tf1! Sentinel prime x Prime! reader (pt 2)

wowie its been a hot minute but i desperately crave more of sentinel. and we are doing this! (prime reader is much meaner in this one)

Sentinel is a freak and a horndog, reader is aggressive, manhandling

As you know before, you never felt too close to Sentinel in comparison to your other fellow primes.

Nothing to but rude about he just felt off. Especially around you, like he wanted something but what?

You didn’t know what to make of it, from his stares and tempts to speak with you alone from the other primes? Yeah no thank you.

Besides it all felt like his conversations towards you left meaningless, you could do something more meaningful than listen to the birdie tweet. All he’d talk about is how much he loved to train with you…learn from you, be with you, fight together…

How sweet, it’s repulsive.

But he only continues and purses. You were much older, stronger, and wiser than him! How could he not admire you? Yes, admire was a good word.

A total yapper when it comes to you. His willing to talk about anything with you, even you couldn’t care less. Even some of his more personal details he tells you, and only you.

But you stay staring off, trying hard to ignore his sweeter softer tone, stoic as ever. He wanted to break that. But how could he when he adore this rift between the two of you?

His words would drift off, his servos tempted to drift to yours, his digits barely able to feel you.

The more he did it the more irritated you’d get. When he nearly get a few words in you raised you digit to his dermas hushing him in a passive aggressive manner.

You are so done with him.

But it only makes him want more.

Sentinel started to get ideas, to push your buttons just so you can get him any ounce or attention. As if the attention of the other 13 weren’t enough…

He start to fiddle with your things when you weren’t looking or gone, purposely making sure to put it out of place for you to notice. Your weapons, personal possessions, anything really that was yours.

You hated when someone, especially someone you think they can act like they own the place messes with you things.

That’s it.

From the moment you noticed your precious weapon misplaced? You knew exactly what to do.

And boy did Sentinel smirk when he heard you rush through the halls and bash through the doors, fuming. Just what he wanted, what a freak.

You are tired of this act and it shows in your body language.

Without a moment you stride your way towards him. He only expected a scolding but boy did his filthy smile disappear when you kept on moving, a gasp nearly left his lips before he say you servo enters his view.

With a tight iron grip on his throat you lift him up to your height, his legs dangle helplessly. His servos desperately hold onto yours. His strained voice, barely in a hushed whimper he begs for you to let go.

He wants your attention? He’s going to get it alright.

You pull him close and speak, this is what he wanted. This is what he just had to do? Why pester and be a parasite to someone so above him?

Your words spit with vile and disgust towards him. You enjoyed giving him what he deserved, but you never knew at the time he was enjoying every bit of this. Yes he was surprised but in every good way possible.

His once kicking legs go limp, the occasional twitch with pleasure as you fingers dig deep into his throat… They threaten to damn near prode at his voice box. And he dreamed of that risk especially if it were to be you to do it.

Your optics tighten as you listen to him rasp and continue to plead for you to let go. Oh so hopeful.

You drop him without warning, he falls to his knees, with a yelp that thankful only you’d hear. He found sick pleasure in you being able to tell the world how much of a touch deprived bot Sentinel is for you. The risk of it all.

That one of the beloved primes loves being manhandled by another stronger bot. It all sends a delightful shock up his spine!

You stomp you pede on his chassis without a second to spare, he groans at the pressure the weight of it all drawing down on him. His body creaks and groan which makes to cover a bitten moan behind his clenched denta.

You twist your pede, hearing him react to your pressure sends a smile to your dermas. His servos rise to hang on, his digits gently rub you legs. You still seem to be fueled by rage that you ignore that intimate rubs. You grip on them as though tempted to crush them in yours.

You go low to his face plate, telling him that his is going to personally go back and put your weapon where it belongs. You voice so strong and fearless makes him cross his legs, thankful you are unable to see the shameful sight as you pull him up with force and lead him into where you weapon was stored.

The heat for Sentinel was becoming too much for him to bear. If your lesson continues theres a chance his hard spike from the touching could be showed off to make a scene. The thought of it only makes it hard to contain himself. Just enough to fix your weapon back in its “rightful place”.

Your gaze still hard on him appears at least pleased, until Sentinel notices your optics fall to his new friend coming to say hi to you.

[devondeal]

Agatha and Rio zodiac signs aka hear me out about Rio’s sign essay

So Agatha is clearly a water sign, most likely Scorpio. She is extremely smart, vindictive, and internalizes like no other.

She also cares so deeply that it probably even scares her sometimes. A big Scorpio thing is being afraid of being vulnerable because they know deeply they feel. Probably why she reacted so intensely toward Rio about Nicky. In her mind, she had opened herself to love and that same love took away her baby. Plus she is so a scorpion and is very much like the scorpion and the swan with her little Road deception.

I know Rio being Lady Death technically has no birthday but this is for FUN so aint no one be a wet blanket here please.

This is going to surprise people and it is definitely out of my bias of being this sign but I believe Rio is a Libra.

HEAR ME OUT

Libra’s symbol is a scale. It is the only zodiac sign that is not represented by a living thing. Rio is above all living things and like Libra the scale, is all about balance. It is also an air sign which again given her mysterious and spiritual nature makes sense.

She is bothered by things like ghosts and Billy reincarnating into a dead body because it opposes the natural balance.

Now onto personality stuff, Libra’s are known for being aloof but charismatic. Very much how Rio presents herself. She is also quite gentle and soft in her own special way and knows how to make the people she loves feel cared for (the flowers for Agarha, defending her against her mother and the coven turning against her, being sweet with Nicky when it was his time holding his hand).

However the aloofness and need for balance can can work against her relationships like having to take Nicky, telling Agatha Billy isnt her son because it was the right thing even though it meant not getting to be with her love.

Libra is also a sign that is known for romance and needs partnership to be balanced within themselves. Rio is extremely romantic with the gift giving and physical touch love languages (she touches Agatha A LOT).

And she is one needy little Death Lady. Her desperate need to be with Agatha again is very obvious and she doesnt even try to hide it. So much so, she went against her usual balance and let Agatha have time with Nicky. She is so deeply in love with Agatha and do anything for her but also because she loves Nicky she had to take him when she did as he was sickly and suffering.

Perhaps she could have let him live so Agatha wouldn’t hate her but because she is selfless and couldn’t let him suffer she did the right thing (plus he clearly wanted to go and was tired of being sick).

The Rio we see in the current time having been apart from Agatha for centuries and knowing she is hated by the one she loves for something she didn’t have a choice doing has clearly changed her. Like a typical Libra she is completely unbalanced without her wife, her partner. And all her more negative Libra qualities come out.

Her aloofness, tendency for passive aggressiveness, the “weird girl” vibes in the group despite being her usual social Libra self and having no problem interacting with the coven all while knowing they’re doomed. Isolated from yet together with them. Like the Ballad says, “together and alone.”

And finally, Rio’s behavior when attacking Agatha in both the beginning and the end is the ultimate show of a Libra at the end of her rope. Rio is not one to lose control especially how she did in the final fight. She is Lady Death after all. But this comes after CENTURIES of being ignored, being demonized undeservedly. And what does a Libra hate more than anything? Injustice and this one is deeply personal. She did what was best for their son and got punished for it.

Yet she never stopped loving Agatha. She defended her against her mother, the coven, tried her best to reconcile with her and explain herself only to be told Agatha never wants to see her face again.

So she attacks explosively, theatrically, like never before. And yet she STILL loves Agatha and cries out her desperation of wanting to be loved back. “Why don’t you want me?” Even after Agatha called her evil. Still a Libra, needing to have her person, and forgiving when Agatha kisses her because that’s all she’s ever wanted.

Then after losing the love of her eternal life, she shuts down, returning to her skull form. Her deepest scar having been ripped open. A traumatized Libra will retreat into their aloof tendencies.

And all this long ass essay is my extremely biased reasoning for Rio being a Libra. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[fandomworld9728]

(These two were similar so I'm doing them together! ☺️

Hope you don't mind that I didn't go into a full-on story. It would take too long to do. So, I just did headcanons)

(Also, I made Sera & Seraphina the same person. I did a lot of research to try and get these right)

The Sins:

Asmodeus:

The most supportive of The Sins

Makes all sort of jokes but tells them how happy he is for them

Gifts them fun toys to use together

Gives the three, especially Adam, a stern talking to about not toying with Lucifer's emotions

Makes sure the understand that if they hurt Lucifer in any way that he would be their worst nightmare

Tell them that they're always welcome to Lust, especially for date nights

~

Beelzebub:

Super excited that Lucifer found not just one partner, but three

Acts nice and bubbly while Lucifer is in the room but as soon as he leaves her smile drops, and she gets serious

Lets them know about her empathic taste so she'd be able to tell if they fucked up

Threatens them while growing in size to get her point across before going back to her normal size and usually self

Alastor is her favorite (the feeling is mutual)

Offers to throw or carter any parties they wanted

~

Mammon:

Didn't really care to meet them

Questions Lucifer right in front of the three why he chose Sinners of all people to be with (is very classist like most of Hell)

Gave a half-ass apology after Lucifer had a word with him in private

Asked for a picture of the four together to sell, said it was a joke after most of them bristled up about it (he wasn't joking)

Gave a vague warning about making sure they kept lucifer happy (he was still his family after all)

Bonded easily with Vox

~

Belphegor:

Threatened them from the get-go knowing how much of a wreck Lucifer was after losing not only Lilith but also Alastor when he had still been alive

Flexed her medical knowledge to let them know how serious she was about this and how easily she could not only kill them without using her powers but also how easily she could get rid of their bodies if necessary

Honestly didn't care for them at all (she takes a bit to warm up to people) 

~

Satan:

Thinks the three are a riot and gives them his blessing

Makes sure they know in the most passive aggressive way that he is the most protective of Lucifer out of The Sins and not so subtly hints at them becoming food for the wildlife of Wrath if they make Lucifer cry

Likes to poke fun at Vox about not being able to handle life in Wrath, has a good laugh with Adam and Alastor about it

~

Leviathan:

Hates it

Hates them

Gets over it and tries to get to know the three

Threatens to throw them to the natives of his ring if they fuck up in any sort of way

The Virtues + Emily:

Emily:

Doesn't know Lucifer all that well but as Charlie's friend and hearing stories about Lucifer from the past is very happy for him

Mostly there to support Sera & Adam

Congratulates them all and gives them her best wishes, wishes Adam good luck with a smile 

~

Michael (Humility):

Glaring daggers at the three the whole time

Sharpening his sword during the whole conversation

When shaking their hands squeezes a bit too hard

Tries to talk Lucifer out of it

~

Gabriel (Diligence):

Honestly saw it coming

Had been keeping an eye on Lucifer with Azrael even if they couldn't interfere too much in his life after he fell

Welcomes the three into the family with a tight grip on their shoulders and a smile that didn't reach his eyes

~

Sera/Seraphina (Chastity):

Welcomed Adam back but questioned why he was with Lucifer after all the talk about how much he hated him

Very wary of Alastor and Vox (especially Alastor)

Tries her best to be polite 

Had a huge headache after they left

~

Uriel (Patience)/Raphael (Charity)/Auriel (Temperance)/Azrael (Kindness):

Sat back and watched the others threaten the three

Overall was happy for Lucifer and had their own secret plans for if the three messed up with Lucifer

The Partners:

Adam:

Has never been more scared in his life or afterlife 

Almost peed himself several times (especially when talking to Michael

~

Alastor:

Found it all amusing and a waste of time

Would never admit it but felt true fear when meeting Michael and Gabriel

Tried his best to play nice for Lucifer

~

Vox:

Tried to keep the peace between everyone

Had to stop a couple fights between Alastor and Satan

Couldn't help but feel annoyed and endeared when Lucifer laughed at them floundering around with his siblings

[13eyond13]

.

[designernishiki]

sometimes i kinda wish mirei wasn't killed off because boy the divorced exes dynamic with majima could've been so god damn funny

[lavender-femme]

.

[nerdie-faerie]

Right I'm off to spend 8 hours on a coach so I can spend the week saying 'quack quack' far too many times in conversation and listen to my brother telling me about Minecraft updates with no context

[lynxgirlpaws]

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 216

Adjective: Pink

Noun: Peach

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Pink: of a color intermediate between red and white, as of coral or salmon; (of wine) rosé; (informal) (often derogatory) having or showing left-wing tendencies; of or associated with gay people

Peach: a round stone fruit with juicy yellow flesh and downy pinkish-yellow skin; a pinkish-yellow color like that of a peach; the Chinese tree that bears peaches; (informal) an exceptionally good or attractive person or thing

[deathisamotherofbeauty]

.

[msdk-00]

friend earlier was like come to library game night with us and i was like i might but i am dreading the thought of socializing so much. i think i will just shower (also dreading) and read book for my final project. maybe drink a bit too. who knows where this beautiful night will take me

[borderlinereminders]

If you’re someone who needs reassurance from loved ones that they love you, that’s really valid. But the way you ask for it matters. Hinting at it with comments like “nobody loves me” can actually be hurtful to your loved ones. It’s also a good idea to try and reassure yourself first!

The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both sides because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."

My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling is to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Here is my post on self-soothing ideas! And if that doesn’t work, then ask for it in a healthy way.

Some other examples.

Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.

Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.

If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy. Here’s my post on checking the facts!

Here’s a post on Challenging Irrational Thoughts!

ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.

TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.

If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.

If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".

It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.

For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.

You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.

This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.

If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."

[blindtaleteller]

I agree with pretty much every word of this; though as someone who is an actual Loki fan.. and maybe to help give you an idea why this is repeatedly becoming a thing on more than your fic..

It's pretty likely that individual is a series fan, rather than an actual Loki fan. And there is, a very vast and documented difference; scientifically and otherwise.

The fandom in that Thor/Loki corner split as far back as Gagnarok being spat out as a clearly declared retcon of all films prior (including Avengers 2012, TDW, and yes Thor 2011 too) for both main characters, Bruce Banner, and a very poorly mishandling of Valkyrie's introduction as an unapologetic slave trader that; was never fixed or resolved in any way, shape or form: and instead lauded and made much worse between gen fans and the creators that followed in Taika's footsteps to do so.

As a result? The current "Loki" character in the MCU, has been turned into a literal meme of his former self: just as a start.. and the Loki fandom is split between actual fans who know and recognize that, and the anti-fans that the show was aimed to keep after taking our money, along with theirs.

So.. sorry you have to deal with that kind of snide comment; especially in a fic very clearly tagged as being in the Barnes/CA fandom (I adore the complexity and consistency of his character even pre-IW myself and agree the cap&rogers story got left on the floor with EG's crappy end production calls in particular.. ugh) but yeah.. with how some of the pro-series goons are especially, I do feel have to point out that their user name and claim being a Loki fan especially under this context is a pretty big red flag that they're -that- sort of "fan" who not only agree with the very similar narrative presented in the mislabeled 'Loki' titled series?

But obviously has no issues not thinking about what they did see in that series or the blatant on screen glorification of abuse, torture, and lack of accountability for any of that in that dumpster fire they slapped the character's name on to draw in viewers. Never mind apply facts over bullshit anywhere else.

Actual MCU Loki fans do still exist, especially around here on tumblr; but I can tell you that ao3 user very likely is NOT one of them.

"Loki" Series fans (or Bob: the Accountant as I often call it and some refer to it as the Larry Show if those examples tell you anything about how little current canon: including the insane take on what 'narcissism' and 'self-centered' is probably coming from) are for the most part a particularly toxic breed of pretenders in my experience.

Again, sorry you had to go through that; and the likelihood of that toxicity being spread and bleeding over into your fandom as a result of the BS Loki fans have been dealing with for 5+ years.

Believe me, actual fans of Loki as an MCU character (and Thor too for that matter) are just as annoyed, frustrated, exasperated, and irritated at things like this as you might be and probably are.

This rather unpleasant comment turned up on my recent meta and I don’t want to start a fight (with a guest account, no less) on AO3, so uh, sorry Tumblr mutuals, here's my 1000 word rant.

Like okay, maybe my writing sucked and gave you that impression. The whole point of that meta was to tease out why he said the "I'm invisible, I'm turning into you" line despite it seeming out of character. And the reason it felt jarring was because we don't expect Bucky to be someone who says that. As opposed to, say, Tony-Manchurian-Candidate-Stark.

Disregarding why you thought it appropriate to leave a comment bashing Bucky when the story has "Bucky Barnes" tagged all over it, and why you'd conclude he's self-centered when he spent my entire meta worrying more about Steve's safety than he did his own, how do you watch the movies and not see that Bucky is one of the least self-focused people in MCU canon?

During much of his very limited screen time he's either being forced into certain actions or has absolutely no autonomy, but the few times he's had the ability to choose, he's never centered himself in that choice.

Here's 15 instances Bucky put himself last. Because I'm that annoyed.

1) He waded in to fish Steve out of the back alley and fought off the bully, and it's suggested that this happens frequently -- like, are we just going to dismiss this because Bucky is bigger than Steve? There are plenty of people who would have stood back or would have waited until help arrived, by which stage Steve would be in hospital.

2) He spends his last night before shipping out setting Steve up with a date, then half of that double date chasing after Steve and arguing with him because he was worried that Steve would either get arrested or successfully enlist and get killed. He didn't ask Steve to make this night about him, while a more entitled person would have because it was his farewell and not Steve's.

3) His first words to Steve when Steve untied him from the gurney was to ask Steve "Did it (getting the serum) hurt?" Even when he was the one barely able to walk.

4) "No, not without you!" even when the factory was exploding around them.

5) Despite being captured, tortured and experimented on, he didn't even hesitate when Steve asked him if he was going to be part of the team. I even covered this in my meta, he's tired and he's disillusioned and he just wants to get away from the war, but he doesn't because Steve asked.

6) He picks up the shield when Steve was down and moves/shoots to draw the Hydra agent's attention away from Steve and towards himself, which results in him being blasted out of the train.

7) He offered to move in with Steve despite the stigma around tuberculosis (and being poor and Irish and sickly) at the time.

8) The line that made Bucky break out of 70 years of brainwashing. It wasn't when Steve called him Bucky, it wasn't when Steve said "Your name is James Bucky Barnes", it wasn't when Steve said "You're my friend". It was only when Steve said, "I'm with you til the end of the line" because that was the oath of companionship and service that Bucky had made to Steve. The line wasn't about Bucky, but about what Bucky had promised to do for Steve. Like. This alone should prove my point.

9) He pulled Steve out of the water holding onto Steve with his one good hand while his other arm was broken (how did he even swim), even though he knew every moment wasted would put him in danger of being killed or captured, even though for him everyone was now an enemy. Despite all this, he pulled Steve out of the water and waited to see that he was breathing before he left.

10) Faced with an entire kill squad in Bucharest, Bucky still stuck to his rule of trying not to kill anyone.

11) His first words when he came out of Zemo's control was a horrified, "What did I do?" Instead of, you know, self-centeredly focusing on how horrified and upset he deserved to be that he had his autonomy ripped away again just when he thought he had been safe for two years.

12) He willingly went back to Siberia with Steve to stop the other super soldiers, despite it being the place where he was held, tortured and mind-wiped, and despite it being the place where he was made into a training puppet for the other soldiers.

13) Even injured and with his arm severed, Bucky grabbed onto Tony's foot to stop Tony from blasting Steve in the chest.

14) Bucky choosing to go back into cryo because he's afraid someone else with the Code Words will use him to hurt people.

15) Despite being in retirement, he took one look at the vibranium arm and all he said was "Where's the battle?"

I'm stopping here because I refuse to recognise EG!Steve and I also have trouble accepting TFATWS!Bucky's arc as canon.

Like, I know MCU writers are pathetic at sympathy, but I never expected the same from someone purporting to be Loki's fan, of all people. To call Bucky's singular snide remark "pity party"? Bucky did not, for the entire CATFA, complain about his 2-3 years of war experience (and if you haven't been at the frontline then please don't even attempt to belittle how horrific it had been), nor did he complain about the forced labour they had been put through in Azzano or the experiments Zola did to him on that gurney. Bucky also did not, at any point after CATWS, talk about the horrific experiences he went through under Hydra, nor did he ever ask anyone to give their attention to his pain or his trauma. His "I'm turning into you" remark is literally the closest he came to making it a "what about me" moment, and my meta was about why he emotionally came to that breaking point. Not once since that moment did movie!Bucky ever try to take a moment and turn it into something about himself.

And just to finish off, acting in self-interest is normal human behaviour on the spectrum of self-preservation, but that isn't even the pattern for Bucky. Bucky has always focused his choices on making life easier or better or more right for Steve. Bucky is not self-centered, but he is most definitely Steve-centered, and on that point I will accept no objections.

[moonchildstyles]

cloudburst

y/n and harry broke up. he goes on a date, and y/n drives in the rain.

wordcount: 8.5k+

—————

(Y/N) knew it was hypocritical to be feeling jealous at the moment—pathetic, even. She was there that night, she knew she was the one that ended her relationship with Harry. He was single, and there was nothing wrong with him going out with another girl; he could take her to whatever restaurant he wanted, including the one that they had found together last month. 

It had only been a couple of weeks, though. And, he had been the one that wanted to try and work things out with her. Harry had been the one that was insistent that they could work through this—the miscommunications, the lack of time together, the passive aggressive arguments—, but now he was the one moving on nearly immediately. She wanted to cry that it wasn't fair, that he was supposed to still be torn up about it the same as she was. 

It wasn't as if she didn't love him anymore or was itching to get out and meet other people, she was just finding herself more unhappy than she was happy when she thought about him. He had told her that he loved her, that he wanted her—needed her—when she had sat him down, she thought neither of them would be moving on this quickly. 

But, it's fine. It's whatever. Good for him. 

Locking her phone, she placed it face down on her kitchen counter with a startling slam. She didn't double check to see if she had cracked her screen, instead stepping away from the device all together as if it wanted to sulk just as back as she. If her phone was a good friend, it would delete the Instagram app as soon as possible; there was no reason to see any more pictures of Harry and his new friend at dinner. 

Forcing her head to clear, (Y/N) padded through her apartment with the intention of cleaning up. The last weeks had left her with heartbreak brain, chores having been pushed to the wayside as she recovered. When was the last time she went grocery shopping? Had she really run out of tissues or did she have an extra stash in some closet she'd been too lazy to check? 

She shook her head, taking the pile of dirty socks to her washing machine while her mind raced with distractions. It was late, but she could go grocery shopping, at least to pick up a few essentials so she didn't order in again for the next couple of days. Seeing the world for another reason instead of work would be good for her, she thought. Even if the thought of putting on shoes that weren't slippers made her want to tear up. 

After starting up the washing machine, she trudged up the stairs towards her room. The cloudy night called for something warmer than the ratted t-shirt and frayed shorts she had on, leaving her to rifle through the collection of sweats she had tucked in her dresser. No matter the garment she pulled out of the drawer, didn't seem to be enough; not thick enough, soft enough, warm enough. Leaving the pieces in a mess in the drawer, she didn't let herself think before she was drifting to her closet where there was a too familiar hoodie hanging up. 

The smell wasn't quite as strong as it had been weeks ago, but there was still a faint scent of Harry's cologne embedded in the fibers. It was truly nothing more than a plain black hoodie, the material showing wear in the way the strings were tied into a bow at the neck with frays at the end, holes lining the sleeve hems, and a lipstick stain smeared on the back shoulder in a shade she had on her bathroom counter. Though it was his hoodie, she had stolen it enough times that it lived at her home with Harry taking it back every now and then, imprinting himself on it for her to revel in once he gave it back. 

Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, she knew it was a bad idea. There was no reason for her to wear that hoodie. Really, it was surprising that he hadn't asked for it back yet—especially if he was going out with other girls. 

It would be crazy for her to wear it, right? It was not normal to be mourning a relationship she ended. That was not her hoodie.

She slipped it on, anyway. 

As much as (Y/N) was crazy, and hypocritical, and jealous, and insensitive—she missed him. 

This whole thing would be a lot easier if she wasn't still in love with him. If he had just broken her heart and ruined those feelings for him, she wouldn't be feeling insane as she pulled the sleeves over her hands and pretended as if she wasn't breathing in his scent. 

Going out didn't seem so bad when she had this on, though.

Collecting her bag and keys, she made a point to rush through the final steps of readying herself before she was going out the door. If she waited too long, she might end up crying in this hoodie instead. 

Outside, it was raining much harder than she had initially thought. Pulling up her hood, she attempted to protect her hair from the droplets though there were casualties that were immediately pasted to her face. By the time she made it to her car, the hoodie was beginning to grow heavy against her back, rain streaked down her bare legs (in the interest of getting out of the house, she didn't change from her shorts like she'd wanted), and her lashes made heavy with mist. 

Once safe inside her car, she pulled in a heavy breath. 

She could do this. While Harry was out at dinner on a date, she'd go pick up some spaghetti noodles and more cheese than she should eat in a week.

Because she wasn't upset. She wanted to be broken up. She's fine.

With a forceful turn of the key in the ignition, (Y/N) gladly focused on the mechanics of driving through the rain as opposed to everything else on her mind. The clean scent in the air filtered through the cab, comforting her more than she realized. 

No doubt, she could do this. 

Pulling onto the main road, she turned up her music to be heard over the sound of the rain beating against the windscreen. The pavement was slick, dyed a slate black with the help of the droplets, puddles growing in every small divot in the road. The streetlamp twinkled off of the gathered water, rippling with each added drop. Everything was just a bit bleary through the windshield, even with the reach of her wipers going in overtime to wipe away the streaks. 

While she was never a huge fan of driving in less than perfect conditions, especially at night, the scene out here tonight was a perfect match to the pit in her stomach. It made sense for the weather to act this way, she thought; she was too torn up for the world to be given a cloudless, warm night. 

The music playing sifted through a playlist she'd found the other day, her search having been nothing more than for "breakup music". While she didn't know every song, or if she was even allowed to be moping to the tunes considering she was the one that cut things off, the lyrics she could catch were felt in her chest with a weight on her lungs. The ones about the other party moving on before the singer was ready stung particularly sharp tonight.

Especially when an all too familiar song started up, a voice she'd heard thousands of times before pleading with his ex lover to keep from calling her new flame "baby". 

This song had come out long before (Y/N) had met Harry, written with another in mind, but she remembered listening to it back then. She remembered wondering just how heartbroken one would have to be to write stanzas just as these, how hurtful it would be to see your love finding someone else to take your place. 

(Y/N) automatically reached out to skip the song, not even knowing it was on the playlist despite it being an obvious pick, but her hand stopped short. 

It'd been weeks since she heard his voice, even longer since he sang around her. Even if this was through speakers, mastered and fit to music, it was something she'd been missing despite pretending she didn't. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, dropping her and back to the steering wheel as if she hadn't just submitted to self-torture. 

As the tune went on, (Y/N) no longer had to wonder what kind of heartbreak went into poetry like this. She was right where Harry used to be, wishing he would give her just a bit longer of pretending to be his baby before he chose another. 

She hadn't realized she was tearing up until her wipers were unable to keep her view from being blurry. The rain outside now paled in comparison to pools glimmering at her waterline. Her skin felt hot, resistant to the chill seeping through her vents. She didn't even make it through the full of the outro before she repeated the song once more, knowing it would only spur her tears on that much more. 

Before she knew it, her bottom lip was quivering before a broken sob puffed from her lips. She sniffled with tears racing down her cheeks, searing over her warmed skin. 

It wasn't her business, but did he share the same bite of sushi with this new girl that he'd also given to (Y/N) a month ago? Did he order the same bottle of rosé? Did he reach across the table to push her hair out of her face just as he did for (Y/N)? Was tonight going to be the first date they would relay to friends and family when asked how they had found someone so special? She had no right to ask any of these questions, but was Harry going to fall in love with this new girl? 

Did he think of (Y/N) at all tonight, like she was thinking of him? 

The idea of being on Harry's mind at all was enough to have her hands tensing around the wheel, but the thought of not crossing it at all had them shaking instead. Her eyes were flooded, hands wavering on the steering wheel, skin warm and nose wet. The rain beat down against the hood of her car with as much force as her heartbeat, riding the tempo as if she couldn't hear it well enough in her ears. 

She shouldn't've left the house tonight. It would be way easier to sob like this if she wasn't having to also keep track of the road in front of her and the slick pavement beginning to flood with more water than the drains lining the sidewalks could handle. At least she seemed to be the only one out on the road at the moment. 

Scrubbing her hand over her eyes, she attempted to clear them in hopes of regaining her focus. The song was over now and she planned on wiping that song and subsequent album from her vicinity as soon as she made it to the grocery store. 

By the time she blinked her eyes open, lashes sticking to one another under the weight of her tears, she was only a few hundred feet away from the vague outline of a stoplight. She hadn't even seen the light shift from green to yellow, let alone to the blazing red that shone overhead. 

Of course, now would be the time she saw one other person on the road, already creeping out into the intersection to use their own green light. 

In a knee-jerk reaction, (Y/N) stomped on her brakes. Her breath caught when she felt that tell-tale give under her tires, the feel of the back of her car shifting out of sync with the steering wheel. 

The broken rattling of her heart was replaced by the pounding of the beats against her ribs as she realized there was no way she was going to stop. She was currently gliding over the road, her tires unable to grip onto anything underneath them through the layer of rain on the pavement. All she could do was turn the steering wheel and hope that her car followed, hopefully missing the poor bystander who would learn that she wasn't paying as much attention as she should have been when coming to the intersection. 

Every thought in her head seemed to happen in slow motion, but the world around her raced by in a second. She could feel her mouth moving, her voice muttering curses that made no sense, but there wasn't a single sound she heard over her heartbeat. Beyond her windows, the rain blurred every moving shape, her foot still heavy on the brake despite it being a fruitless effort. 

Headlights shone against her face for a brief second before she cranked the wheel, spinning just in time as she hit the middle of the intersection. Her new bleary view showed off the vague outline of the pole of the stoplight for a brief moment before spinning out even further until she was facing the direction she'd come in, her car turning in a complete one-eighty in her lane until everything suddenly stopped with a metallic crunch. 

She heard the impact before she felt it. Her driver's side door whammed into the pole of the stoplight, denting through the layers of metal with the window cracking and breaking. Prisms of glass rained over her, grazing her face and tops of her thighs with prickling shards. Her dented door threaded to push in on her before stopping, leaving a pressure against the side of her body and a complicated way to get out of the vehicle once she found her head. Her dashboard was lit up with every caution insignia as if she had no idea of what had just happened. Through the broken window, rain began to stream in, seeping into the cuts on her face and legs. She shivered though she couldn't feel a single chill from the air, her body beginning to reel from the accident she had just found herself in. 

In the back of her mind, over the pelting rain and pounding heartbeat, she heard her breakup playlist filtering through the remaining speakers. 

A wretchedly familiar voice singing about fine lines and being alright. 

"Hon? Are you okay?" 

Turning to face the nice woman who'd come to check on her after witnessing her blunder, (Y/N) opened her mouth to respond. 

She burst into tears.

—————

Harry really needed to stop wearing this necklace. 

He'd known that for the last few weeks, and, yet, every time he'd thought to unclasp it and put it at the bottom of a jewelry box to never be seen again, he never had the strength to. Instead, he continued to wear it every day, absently playing with the single pearl sitting at the base of his throat. 

Natalie watched as he fiddled with the pendant, but he still couldn't get himself to stop his idle hands. 

He hadn't even wanted to be here tonight, anyway—he had to self-soothe somehow, even if that meant playing with the necklace his ex-girlfriend gifted to him. 

Natalie was nice enough, a friend of a friend of a friend who'd been around to some parties here and there, but she wasn't (Y/N). Harry had only agreed to come out tonight in hopes of giving him a reason to wash his hair and eat something that wasn't bread or coffee while sitting on the kitchen floor. Even with clean hair and an order of his favorite sushi cleared from his plate, he still felt slices of guilt; one for going out with someone while still being very hung up on his ex, and for going out at all with someone who wasn't (Y/N). 

Harry wasn't stupid, he'd caught the cell phones pointed in his direction when he and his date had been seated. If it wasn't up already, it was only a matter of time before those photos would be circulating on all of the socials and appearing on timelines. He could already picture the headlines for tomorrow morning, detailing the mystery woman on this dinner date while questions about his previous flame were posed. He just hoped (Y/N) would somehow be able to dodge these flecks of news—even for only a couple of days. 

Hopefully, he'd have a chance to talk to her before she knew. If she was open to hearing from him, he'd explain where he was coming from in even agreeing to this date, and maybe she'd take him back. If she knew he was still in love with her, willing to change his schedule, relearn how to communicate, start going to therapy weekly again, would it be enough to salvage their relationship? 

"But, what about you?" 

Being pulled from his head, Harry had to face Natalie with a blink of his eyes. She had been talking about a movie or something—or was it her last holiday?—, but he hadn't heard a single word. Another pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach. 

He thumbed over the pearl at his throat. "Um... I'm so sorry, wh—" 

Divine intervention came in the form of his phone vibrating in his pocket. He shot an apologetic smile at Natalie before slipping the device out of his pocket, eager to pick up for whoever was on the other side. 

Until he saw the contact name, anyway. 

(Y/N)'s mother. She was calling him. 

"Who is it?" Natalie asked, canting her head at Harry's startled expression. 

"Um... Jus'—uh—someone I haven't heard from in a while. I have to take this, 'm sorry." 

He didn't catch Natalie's reaction before he was rising from his seat and heading towards the front door with the phone pressed to his ear. Rain sprinkled over his head while thunder cracked in the distance. A darker storm was moving in. 

"Hello?" 

"Harry?! Harry, are you there?" 

"'M here, yeah. Is everything alright?" He'd never heard her voice in such a frantic state, especially not over the phone like this. Was she that upset over the breakup? 

"(Y/N)—It's (Y/N). She's been in an accident, and I—we—Her father and I, we're—She's alone. I-I know you two broke up, but she's in the hospital by herself and the nurse said she's not doing okay, she's—I don't know, I don't want her to be alone but I can't get on a flight until tomorrow morning and there's—" 

Frantic chattering continued on through the receiver, but there wasn't a single syllable that was able to breach his thoughts. 

(Y/N) was in the hospital. She'd been in an accident and was now at the hospital. Alone. She wasn't doing well while she was in the hospital after being in an accident, all alone. 

His stomach turned. 

"Wha—Where's the hospital? What hospital is it?" 

Was he having a heart attack? Every beat of the organ fluttered at the base of his throat, the chambers squeezed tight. 

He needed to find her. She couldn't be alone. She had to be okay and he needed to be there. 

Her mother shakily relayed the name of the hospital and room number, stumbling over the syllables until Harry had them seared into his memory.

"I-I'm so sorry to ask you, I know what—" 

"No, no," he shook off her words, "Th-Thank you for telling me. 'M going to her right now, I'll let you know how she's doing." 

Shaky goodbyes were shared with quiet sobs sounding on the end of the other line. Harry felt breathless as he stowed his phone away, hands shaking with fumbling fingers. His head was a mess. 

All he wanted to do was go—get in his car and go, be with (Y/N). But, there was Natalie sitting at their table, a dessert ordered to the table with their check of sushi and wine waiting with their server. There were people around them who would no doubt post about any kind of commotion he sounded tonight, perhaps even leak his location if hearing he was on the way to a hospital in the city. (He usually liked to see the best in others, but it'd happened before, these wild invasions of privacy). 

Despite every instinct pushing him towards the parking lot and abandoning the night, Harry forced himself to walk back into the restaurant. He held a thin grip on his control, but it was enough to get him back to his table with Natalie so he could quietly speak with her. 

"Is everything okay?" she asked before he'd even taken his seat. 

Swallowing, his throat bobbed as he shook his head. "No, actually. I—'m really sorry, Natalie, but I have to go. My, um, a friend of mine—they're in the hospital. I need to go." 

Natalie's features were marred with surprise, mouth dropped open with her lashes in a glimmering flutter up at him. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That's so scary. No worries, go ahead I'll take care of everything. Call me when you can, okay?" 

Meeting the blue shimmer of her gaze, Harry felt his features tighten. She was much too nice for him. 

He wasn't going to call. 

Harry didn't say anything before he was rushing out of sight, only stopping at the hostess station for a slick second to tell the staff to charge the card attached to the reservation. Natalie was open to order whatever she wanted for the rest of the night, but she wasn't paying for a single cent. This would be his apology for never calling. 

It was with shaky fingers that he typed in the name of the hospital (Y/N) was at—all alone—as soon as he was in his car. Though his heartbeat didn't settle much, his head felt a bit clearer knowing that with every mile he was cruising down the street, he was growing closer to (Y/N). His hands couldn't stay idle for very long, consistently reaching up to the necklace around his throat. 

(Y/N) was going to be alright, right? 

The question warmed the backs of his eyes, flushing his skin. As much as he wanted—needed—to be at her side, Harry realized he wasn't sure what he was walking into. Her mother had said she wasn't doing okay—whatever that meant. What kind of scene was he going to walk into? 

Stop lights and brake lights passing in a blur through the growing rain, Harry made it to the hospital in record time. The pavement was slick, reflecting the glow of the streetlamps and the many car lights bumbling through the carpark. He didn't think before he was pulling into the first spot he found, parking at a sloppy angle before he was rushing out. 

With the rain coming down, his hair fell across his forehead, slicking to his skin. The droplets acted as the tears he was unwilling to shed until he saw (Y/N) in person. 

He marched his way into reception, shoes squeaking over the linoleum. Behind the desk, a woman perked up, spotting him with bored eyes before she perked up with recognition he knew too well. 

"Hi, um, how can I help you?" she sputtered. 

Unable to muster a greeting smile, he kept his eyes low. "I—um—I need to see someone, please?" 

The rest of the checkin passed in a daze, Harry only barely able to keep himself from begging to see (Y/N). He relayed as much information as he could, showing any kind of identification needed. He was more than thankful to hear that her parents had approved his visit during their initial phone call, something he filed away for later so he could thank them when he had a clear mind. 

The best thing he heard, the one that stuck glaringly in his mind, was the fact that she wasn't housed anywhere to be treated for critical pain. She was being held somewhere safe and hopefully comfortable. 

Following the given directions, Harry felt like a ghost as he floated through the different doors and elevators. He moved restlessly while he dinged through the floors, feet shuffling while his eyes were trained on the rising numbers. 

Was this the slowest elevator on earth? Or were they always like this? 

Once set free on the correct floor, Harry floated through the halls, sweaty palms pressed into the pockets of his pants. All he could focus clearly on was the room numbers pinned beside the doors, the thumps of his heart bubbling in his ears. 

After going down what felt like endless miles of hallways, the correct room number finally appeared before him. The door was shut, the lights inside dim. His hand hesitated on the door handle.

He had been so consumed with making it to her, to make himself feel better with the sight of her, that he hadn't really considered if she would even want to see him. If she wasn't asleep at the moment, would she just kick him out? She had been the one to break up with him, anyway. 

Before he could doubt himself any more, he pushed through, keeping his steps light over the linoleum. 

Just as he thought, the room was quiet and dark, rain streaking down the window. There was a warm glow coming from the standing lamp at the corner of the room, machines beeping along with the television with a made-for-tv movie playing. A whiteboard marked with her name was pinned to the wall, filled with stats and jargon Harry didn't have the mind to decipher. 

Amongst it all, (Y/N) was laid in the hospital bed with the thin covers pulled to her middle. Her eyes were shuttered, showing off the bruising underneath alongside the myriad of cuts over her skin. As peaceful as she appeared, sleeping away under the crumpled sheets, Harry couldn't help the tears that touched his eyes. 

With the door closing behind him, he drew closer to her bed. It didn't take much examination to spot the tear tracks glimmering on her cheeks, the swollen puff of her lips. It was the same way she'd looked when she had told him she didn't want to be with him any longer. 

Harry wasn't sure what broke his heart more: the obvious evidence of weeping on her features, or the fact that her tears would have skated over every cut and scratch marring her cheeks? 

He shuffled over the floor. He wanted to be at her side, hold her hand and let her know she wasn't alone anymore, but he didn't want to wake her. There was a reason that she wasn't allowed to head home after being checked out by the hospital team, the more rest she received the better. 

Instead, he gingerly made his way to her bedside, taking a spot in the uncomfortable chair seemingly waiting for him in the lamplight. With the way she was laid up in the bed, he had an unobstructed view of her relaxed features, some of the more notable injuries on her face bandaged up while others were left treated with nothing more than a glistening salve. She didn't look particularly comfortable, especially knowing how she usually liked to curl up with her hands to her cheek and legs to her chest, but this was better than nothing. 

Better than being in a wrecked car somewhere. 

The thought was sobering, enough to have those tears he had been urging away to resurface on his waterline once more. 

She was here. (Y/N) was okay—hurt, but well enough to be left to sleep on her own. She was no longer alone. 

He hung his head in his hands. He didn't want to think about what kind of accident would have put her here, blood on her face with machines monitoring every vital in her body. 

With those tears in his eyes, peeking up at her between his lashes, she looked like a watercolor painting. The edges were blurred, leaving the general outline of the person that filled his dreams and became his muse for the better part of the last year and a half. 

He couldn't believe the last month of his life. He'd lost her. And for what? Because he didn't think it was important enough to send her a text when he was going to be out later than initially thought? Because it was easier to let his schedule happen to him, as opposed to shaping his life around making enough time to spend time with her? Because why would he talk to her, tell her where he was coming from, when he could be passive aggressive and sweep everything under the rug instead?

The beeping of the heart monitor was the pitched baseline that anchored him to the room. Every dotted sound kept him from being swept away in the rivers of tears dripping down his heated cheeks. 

He could have lost her today. In the worst case scenario of this day, he would have received a very different phone call. He wouldn't have had the chance to sit at her side right now. He wouldn't have seen these healing injuries on her, instead having only old photographs to remember what life looked like on her. 

As cracked as his heart was at the moment, he would take these cuts and scrapes, this uncomfortable chair, the stiff set of her bedding, over any other ending this night could have had. 

The rain pelted against the window as Harry fixed his gaze to the love of his life. 

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, if it had been nothing more than a few minutes or if it had been hours at her side, until there was the soft click of the doorknob twisting with the door pushed open. Entering was a nurse in soft purple scrubs, hair pulled back and a clipboard in her hands. She had her eyes trained down before looking up to catch Harry wiping his eyes and (Y/N) unstirring in her bed. 

"Oh, hello," she murmured, voice soft as they were both aware of the patient in bed, "I didn't know she was having any visitors tonight." 

A barely there smile curled Harry's cheeks, his skin smooth of dimples. "Yeah, got here as fast as I could. Have you been helping her?" 

The nurse shook her head, "A little, but she's been asleep for most of it. Poor thing cried herself into exhaustion, so I doubt she really remembers meeting me." 

Her statement had his bottom lip quivering. Harry had to remind himself to be grateful she was even here to cry. 

"She's doing alright, though?" 

With a quick glance at the clipboard, the nurse nodded her head. "Yeah, she's doing much better—now that she's calmed down a little. We've just gotta keep an eye on her for tonight. She got a good crack to her head, so I want to make sure she doesn't sleep for too long tonight." 

Harry gave her a nod, a moment from offering to wake (Y/N) for her before the nurse stepped forward. In gentle tones with a hand to her shoulder, she woke (Y/N). 

Unlike her, she had been sleeping rather lightly, jumping awake after only a single call of her name. (Y/N) fluttered her eyes open, lashes sticking together from the dried crust of her tears, enough so that she reached her scratched hands up to rub the mess away. 

"Hi," (Y/N) greeted, her voice in a croak as she got her bearings. 

"Hello," the nurse responded with a gentle smile, "Sorry to wake you, hon. I just wanted to check on you, then you're good to go to sleep, again." 

"Okay," (Y/N) breathed, struggling to sit up. 

Without thinking, Harry surged forward, helping her as much as he could. The second he put his hands on her, (Y/N) jumped, having not seen him prior.

It was clear she was more than surprised to see him with the way her eyes widened, blanching at the sight of him. 

"Harry?"

He offered a quiet, thin smile, sitting back in his spot once she was stable, sitting up for the nurse. "Hi." 

Before much else could be shared between them, the nurse began running her tests. Small talk was shared between the two, (Y/N) glancing more than once in Harry's direction. His hands were a fiddling mess in his lap, watching with rapt attention as every evaluation was run. 

"Everything's looking okay—what I expected we'd be seeing," the nurse mused, writing down her information on the clipboard in hand, "But, how are you feeling? Any extra pain, anything you want me to take a look at or mention to the doctor?" 

"I'm fine," (Y/N) smiled, the expression less than convincing, "Nothing hurts any more than earlier." 

"Okay, okay," the nurse nodded, "That's good, let me know if that changes. I'll be back to check on you in a few hours, so get in your rest while you can." 

A pointed look was placed in Harry's direction at her last statement, a teasing curl to the corner of her lips. (Y/N) gave a sheepish nod. 

"Right, thank you." 

The nurse departed with a couple of well wishes and a reminder that she'd be back in a few hours. Once the door clicked behind her, a stiff silence settled between them. The only sound came in the form of the mechanical beeping of the machines around her and the ending of the television movie playing. 

(Y/N) had her eyes facing ahead, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Harry stared at her. 

"(Y/N)—" 

"You're here." 

His throat bobbed as he heavily swallowed. "I am," he nodded, dropping his gaze to his picked cuticles in his lap, "Your mum called me." 

A furrow had her brow pinched. "Her and my dad are on vacation right now." 

Another nod, a strand of hair touching over his forehead. "They'll be back tomorrow morning, but she wanted someone to be with you tonight." 

Maybe it was the way her shoulders tensed, the glassy look that took over her gaze, or the pinch to her features, but something brittle settled in the air between them. Every breath felt delicate as he waited for any kind of response. 

"I'm sorry." 

It was his turn for his brows to knit together. "For what?" 

That fragile tension between them cracked. 

"You were on a date." 

Harry hung his head, lips thinning. He thought he would have more time to explain this. 

"'S not what it looks like, (Y/N)." 

She shook her head, voice quiet under her breath. "So it wasn't a date?" 

Sucking in a breath, his lungs squeezed. "I mean—It—Yes, it was a date, but—" 

The beeping of her heart monitor heightened, the pitch seemingly hitting higher than a moment before with the pace quickening. "So it is what it looks like." 

"(Y/N), 's more—there's more to it than that." 

(Y/N) only shrugged at his half-hearted response, her head hanging between her shoulders. 

Harry felt just as defeated as she looked now. This wasn't how he wanted to reunite with her, but he guessed beggars couldn't be choosers. This was the opportunity he had, and he wasn't going to turn it away. 

"What happened tonight?" he murmured, shifting the conversation away from his own blunders. Unfortunately, this avenue would be an easier section to stomach than anything she would want to know about his date. 

"I got into an accident." 

"I know," Harry gently prodded, "But, what happened? Y'usually only hit curbs, not anything else." 

His shoulders loosened when his teasing was enough to draw a huffed laugh from her, a slight smile softening her features. 

As much as they may have deteriorated recently, he did know her. He knew her better than he knew himself. 

"It was just raining really hard, and—I don't know—I wasn't able to stop like I thought. I slid and hit a pole, and... yeah." 

As much as he did like teasing her about her more precarious driving habits, he knew more than anything that she was cautious. It wasn't like her to settle into accidents like this—she rarely ever drove in weather like this anyway, let alone at night. 

"Y'never drive in the rain," he pressed, an unaired question bookending his words. 

"I know." 

Harry looked at her, waiting for more than those two syllables. It was fruitless, he knew. 

He hung his head, running an absent hand through his hair before his fingers found the pearl at his throat. Eyes on the floor between his feet, he couldn't look at her as he spoke once more. 

"(Y/N). What happened tonight?" This isn't like you. Why did this happen? 

The air in the room seemingly went still. 

When he chanced a look up once more, he saw her sitting in her hospital bed with sparkling tears in her eyes. His chest panged at the sight. He knotted his fingers tighter together, forcing himself to see from reaching out. 

"(Y/N)...," he started, voice decidedly more gentle than a moment before. 

She shook her head. "I didn't want to be home—and I was crying, and I wasn't paying attention and the rain was heavier than I thought—and just... Everything happened." 

What was worse? Hearing that she had cried more than once tonight, before she'd even got in her accident, or seeing her recount it with another set of tears racing down her cheeks? 

This time he couldn't help himself; Harry reached out to touch her wrist. Her skin was warm under the chill of goosebumps on her skin. While she didn't move to hold his hand like she used to, she didn't flinch away. That was enough, he thought. 

"Why were y'crying, lo—(Y/N)?" He internally cringed at his slip up. He had no place calling her anything but her name. "What happened?" 

Another shake of her head. "It's stupid," she sniffled, fluttering her eyes closed with the tears clinging to the tips of her lashes. 

"Not if it made y'so upset that y'ended up here tonight," he crooned, words a quiet lilt only for her to hear, "What happened?" 

"I—It's..." she cut herself off more than once, throat bobbing, "I don't... I was the one that broke up with you, I-I'm not supposed to be upset. It-It's not fair." 

Her voice was barely a whisper by the time she finished speaking. His hand on her wrist tightened, a snug warmth against her skin. He ran his thumb over the bone, pretending he didn't feel the cut just on the underside. 

He waited. 

Another made-for-tv movie started on her television. 

He waited. 

She took a deep breath. Her eyes still closed.

"You went on a date tonight." 

Harry's shoulders deflated. 

"(Y/N)—"

"No," she peeped, shaking her head with her arm stiffening under his hold, "No. You were on a date, and I'm crazy and I'm not supposed to be upset, but I couldn't handle it—I didn't want to be home alone an-anymore. I didn't think you'd be over it already since I'm not, but you-you can do whatever you want an-and I need to be okay with that. And, then you—your music, it started playing while I was driving and I-I—Harry, I couldn't stop crying and then I crashed." Her voice was clogged in her throat, muddy and thick. Her tone came in waves, ebbing and flowing until it gave out. "I'm sorry." 

There was no chance Harry had of keeping his own tears at bay as he listened. It was too much—all of it; hearing her beginning to sob over the thought of him being over their relationship, how just the sound of his voice over her speakers brought her to tears while driving, the fact that she'd seen photos of him out on a date had driven her from her home to get away from herself. 

He felt his skin flush, the warmth heading down his neck the same way his tears did. He sniffled his nose, his lips rolled between his teeth to keep himself from blurting out each thought he couldn't help but to have. 

He doubted telling her how much he loved her was going to be much help when she was so dedicated to the thought of him already finding someone new to replace her. 

"You—" he cut himself off when his voice came a croak, clearing his throat with his hand on her wrist. "Y'don't have to be sorry, (Y/N). You're not crazy, either—I don't know what I would do if I'd seen y'go out with someone else, either. Y—'M jus' sorry, I never—I didn't mean to—" 

"It's okay, it's okay," she murmured, shaking her head as she slid her arm out from under his hand, curling into herself while she refused to open her eyes. "It's not your fault—you—I ended our relationship, you can do whatever you want." A shuddering breath had her shoulders shaking, lungs rattling. "I-I'm sorry you're here instead of with her." 

Just short of climbing up on the bed beside her, Harry pulled his chair as close to her side as he could. There wasn't anything he could say—nothing that he could imagine would shift her mind on what she'd seen and decided was the truth. All he could do, even if it involved uncomfortable bending of his joints, was collect her into his arms and hold her. It was only then that the slow roll of her tears were let loose into full weeps, her face buried into his neck. 

She burrowed against him, sinking into him as if the last month hadn't occurred. His hands spanned over her form, familiar with every plane and curve. His fingers caught on the raised abrasions that could be felt through her thin gown, but Harry could only be grateful that those were the only evidence of her accident. The mechanical beeping of her pulse skittered high, enough so he worried that the nurse could be alerted of the disturbance. Nonetheless, he held her tighter. 

"There's nowhere else I want to be," he murmured into her hair, his voice watery like the tears running down his cheeks. 

Reaching towards him, (Y/N) wrapped her hands in the wool of his jacket, fingers clawing into the fabric in a tighter grip than he'd expected from her state. "E-Even tonight?" 

Her cry was thin and pathetic, causing Harry to pulse his arms around her once more. "Tonight—every night. As long as 'm with you." 

He could feel the flutter of her lashes as she cinched her eyes shut tighter. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke again, just audible given how closely he had her wrapped around him, "Wh-What about her?" 

He shook his head against her hair, his nose skating over her crown. There would be a time to really unpack why he found himself at a candlelit table with Natalie, including everything that was going through his head every time she spoke to him, but that wasn't tonight. She needed him, and all of the reassurance he could give more than he needed to clear his conscience and monologue over his feelings. 

"She's not you and that's all that matters to me," he told her, sincerity dripping in his tone, "All I want is you." 

(Y/N) cried in a blubbering sob, "I didn't think you loved me anymore." 

Harry's own eyes had to be shuttered closed then, a fruitless attempt in hopes of stemming the tears falling out of his eyes and into (Y/N)'s hair. "I didn't think y'loved me anymore, darling." 

"I-I do, I do," she countered, shaking her head in his neck with her grip tightening on him, "We-We just never saw ea-each other anymore, and I-I thought you were mad at me all th-the time and I thought we'd be happier apart—b-but I was wrong and—" 

"It's okay, it's okay," he soothed her, starting a circuit of his palm over her back, "I-I understand. But now we know—you're all I want, an-and I'll do anything to make it work with you." 

"You're all I want," she whimpered, voice tight, "Don't leave me." 

While a part of him was soaring knowing that she was still in love with him, that this wasn't over the way he'd thought, he was still more than heartbroken to hear that she was so torn up and broken herself. She thought she had no choice but to end the relationship in hopes of making both of them happier elsewhere. He never imagined himself making someone he loved feel that way. 

"I won't." 

—————

Rubbing the lack of sleep out of his eye, Harry stood back as (Y/N) checked out of the hospital. Her mother was twined to her side with her father looking just as distraught, though he was better at giving his daughter space. They'd come straight here as soon as they landed only a couple of hours prior, walking in on Harry who had stayed far longer than the originally carved out visiting hours with (Y/N) still in his arms. 

Gratitude was exchanged between them—Harry for coming to (Y/N)'s side at a moment's notice, and her parents for telling him at all and letting him be there for her—with a thread of stiffness lingering afterwards. Harry couldn't blame them; the last they'd heard about him was the fact that he'd been dumped by their daughter along with all the reasons why. They didn't know what had come of the night before, yet, only seeing the aftermath of their tear puffed faces and his arms wrapped around her.

Truthfully, Harry wasn't even sure where he stood with (Y/N) at the moment. Promises uttered through sobs after a traumatic event wasn't something he was going to hold her to. Even if he wanted to believe she was still in love with him and wanted to be with him like she'd said last night. 

Armed with paperwork and parents at her side, (Y/N) nodded to the nurse at the checkout with a plastered smile. Though they were still clear on her skin, the cuts and scrapes she'd earned in her accident didn't look so bad when she smiled with light in the eyes. 

Though he was still a bit too far away, he could hear the mumblings of a quiet conversation happening between (Y/N) and her parents. He was sure she was going to go home with them, and sort out everything else that couldn't be helped with a night at the hospital, but he'd wait until he knew she was safe before he'd leave himself. 

He watched from the corner of his eye, giving them privacy, though he could see (Y/N) waving off her parents before stepping towards him. It was a lingering departure, her mother refusing to let go too readily, though she eventually resigned herself to head down the hallway towards the bank of elevators with her husband and her daughter's paperwork. 

(Y/N) took shy steps towards Harry, empty hands a fiddling mess. 

"You're still here," she said, voice quiet to match the waiting room. 

He shrugged, a small smile having curled the corner of his lips. Was he supposed to remind her that she had asked him to stay, or keep that ex-boyfriend barrier in place? (If it was even still standing, given the way she'd fallen asleep in his arms just hours before).

"You're doing alright?" he asked instead, scanning over the planes of her face as if he didn't have them memorized already. 

She nodded. "Just sore, but I think I'm just going to feel that way for a little while. My head's doing better, though—I still have a headache, but I don't think it's because of the accident." 

Though she ended with a laugh, Harry figured she wasn't sure what to make of last night anymore than he did. 

"'M happy you're alright," he told her, sincerity weaved through his words, "Are your mum and dad taking y'home?" 

"Yeah," she nodded, looking over her shoulder to the couple waiting at the elevators, "I think my mom wants me to stay at their house tonight, but we'll see." 

"Oh, y'don't want to spend hours watching soap opera reruns tonight?" Harry teased, a sly smile touching his lips. The curl only stretched when (Y/N) laughed. 

"Not particularly, but who knows," she said, sparing another glance over her shoulder to see the audience waiting on her, "Um, we talked a lot last night." 

"We did, yeah," he nodded, throat bobbing as swallowed, eyes dropping from her own, "But, we don't—'m not—If y'don't feel the same way as y'did last night, 'm not going to ma—" 

"I do," she cut him off, a bright chirp that matched the spark in Harry's chest. "I do feel the same, I mean. We should probably talk a little more, though, right?" 

A dimple dented Harry's cheek, suddenly feeling incredibly more alive than just a heartbeat before. "Probably." 

"Are you busy tomorrow? In the morning?" 

It didn't take a second thought before Harry was moving his schedule around to keep his morning stark open tomorrow. Those meetings could be moved—maybe even made into an email or a quick phone call. 

"Not for you." 

The blooming smile she gave him was reminiscent of the first time he pulled that flirtation on her. 

"Good," she quipped, "I'll call you tonight or something, then. Maybe we could get breakfast tomorrow?" 

"I'll be there," he cemented, "Jus' tell me when." 

The rewarding light in her eyes made it easy for Harry to forget the last month of his light (except for the night he'd just spent with her, of course). 

"I will," she told him, "Bye, Harry." 

Maybe it was the way she hesitantly stepped towards him, or the shy way she had her lips rolled between her teeth with a budding smile, or the memory of her warmth against his chest, but Harry didn't think before he was collecting her into his arms. (Y/N) melted into his chest on instinct, wrapping her arms around his middle. He could feel the mush of her cheek against the cuff of his shoulder. Despite the sterile scent of the hospital clinging to her, underneath it all was the familiar fragrance of her shampoo and sweet body lotion she somehow never ran out of. 

Drawing away first, (Y/N) only put enough space between them to get a look up at Harry. Though her eyes were bloodshot, bags darkening underneath, and the shadow of her tears lingering in the corners, he'd never seen anything more beautiful than (Y/N)'s eyes. 

"I'll see y'tomorrow." 

"See you tomorrow." 

Long after she untangled herself from his hold, Harry still felt (Y/N)'s warmth long enough to carry him home and keep him company until his phone rang a familiar tone later that night. 

—————

ahhhhhh I never write angst so I hope this turned out all right! thank you sm for reading, and sorry for any mistakes! if you have any ideas or anything at all send them in!

[babyleostuff]

˚ ༘♡ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦

― the moment in which the seventeen members find out their significant other hid their injury from them

s.coups

first of all - the chance of cheol not knowing you got hurt is this big 🤏🏻 mans somehow knows everything when it comes to you, even if he’s overseas he. still. knows. he would be… i don’t want to say disappointed in you not telling him, because you’re still your own person and he cannot tell you what to do, but… he just cares about you so much, truly. the thought of you hurt or in pain without him knowing is heartbreaking to cheol. he’s a caretaker through and through, especially for his significant other - there’s nothing seungcheol wouldn’t do for them. at the same time, though, he feels so proud to have a partner that is so strong.

jeonghan

the second he finds out you got hurt or injured jeonghan becomes quite passive aggressive. he’s not necessarily angry with you, it’s just that… what wouldn’t you tell him? he’s your boyfriend, he’s supposed to be next to you and care for you when you need it. you do the same for him, so why would you push him away? hannie understands that sometimes you just need your space, and everyone is different when it comes to being sick and in pain, but he’d still be a bit hurt by you not telling him. at the end of the day, he’d try to talk to you, though, and explain why it was so important to him to know.

joshua

it’s not that he’s angry, more like disappointed (all that disappointment, though, doesn’t come from pettiness or anger, but care and love). he gets that people react differently to getting injured, but still - he’s your boyfriend, and a boyfriend that cares a lot at that. shua always respects all of your decisions, no matter what, but when you get hurt and don’t tell him… you might not see it as important enough, but to him, your well-being and comfort is all that matters. he can’t imagine how you must’ve felt going through all of that alone, and yes, he gets that that was what you wanted, but still. 

jun

tries his best not to show how it affects him, when he finds out about your injury, but fails miserably. jun is a bit disappointed that you didn’t tell him first things first, because he’d be more than happy to take care of you (and he’d have the perfect opportunity to be extra clingy). would be unusually pouty and whiny after, waddling after you at any given moment and asking you “why? why didn’t you tell him?”. was it because you didn’t trust him and his caretaker abilities, did you think it wasn’t big enough of a deal to tell him about, or maybe you saw your injury as a burden? he needs to know or else he won’t be able to fall asleep. 

hoshi

you don’t want to keep something as serious as an injury from soonyoung, because the second he finds out you got hurt AND didn’t think about telling him, he gives you the silent treatment + becomes so hard to deal with. he can be petty when he’s in a good mood, so imagine how he’d be behaving after finding out. hoshi gets so frustrated because why wouldn’t you tell him? it’s a whole ass injury, not a scratch, there’s nothing that could excuse you from not telling him. he’s aware he’s not the best with taking care of injuries, but that doesn’t matter he wouldn't do his absolute best. just… tell him next time. 

wonwoo

he can feel his eye twitch when he finds out about your injury. it gets even worse when you tell him it wasn’t that big of a deal and he shouldn't worry. immediate game over for jeon wonwoo. you might think he wouldn’t get as annoyed by it as other members who are more outwardly affectionate… WRONG + he doesn’t consider himself the overprotective type, ALSO WRONG. wonwoo is a man who lives for you and your comfort even if he doesn’t see that himself, so the fact that you didn’t bother to tell him about something as big as an literal injury??? JAIL!!! will cross his arms and stump his feet to make a point. 

woozi

he understands that for you it might be a small thing, your injury, that you don't see it as something important enough to tell him about, but… it’d still kind of hurt jihoon if you didn’t tell him? like, on one hand he’s so enchanted by you because you're so independent and strong and willing to go through your pain alone, but on second he’s your boyfriend. he might not be the most obvious with how he shows his love and physical touch and outward words of affirmation, but he still cares. a lot. he wants to take care of you, he wants to keep you warm and as comfy as he can, so please don’t brush off matters like that. 

dk

at first he’s very confused when he finds out that you got injured, because that can’t be true, right? you’d immediately tell him if you got hurt, 100%. but when seokmin realises that your injury was not a cruel joke he nearly cries. why, why on earth wouldn’t you tell him? and it crushes him so much - you, in pain, without him by your side to hold your hand through it all. he’s quite a mess afterwards, trying to gather his emotions. because he has to get through to you and try to explain how much it hurt him that you didn’t tell him. even if you refuse his help, he just needs to know, that’s all.

mingyu

there’s a hit of annoyance in gyu when he finds out that you got hurt and didn’t tell him. like… you’re well aware of how big of a caretaker mingyu is, and how important acts of service are for him, and yet you decide to hide the injury from him. why? he understands that a part of you might think of yourself as a burden, but he has told you numerous times how happy it makes him when you ask him for help, even with the smallest things. but you’re still pushing him away? it’s just - it’s so gut wrenching when he finds out that you had to suffer on your own and he didn’t know.

the8

huh, so you don’t believe in his healing abilities? hao becomes extremely petty, because no one’s better at being a certified nurse than him (not even a real nurse), and with you not telling him he feels like you don’t trust him enough to take care of you properly. he genuinely likes to take care of his loved ones, he doesn’t mind being the housewife, and he definitely doesn't think you’re a burden because of your injury, so why would you hide it? after he finds out he sits you down and has a talk with you - hao tries to explain his point of view and how it made him feel when you didn’t tell him, and why you shouldn’t hide things like that from him. 

seungkwan

gets so so so petty, oh my god. huh, so you, his girlfriend, didn’t tell him, your boyfriend, you got hurt? you just didn’t? yeah, not on boo seungkwan’s watch. why on earth wouldn’t you call him first things first? he’s your literal boyfriend, it’s his duty and privilege to take care of you, keep you warm and loved, no matter what. and he doesn’t want to hear that “but i don’t want to be a burden” shit, because you. are. not. and you could never be one. so you’re trying to tell him you were hurt and alone while he was living his best life? he’d make sure to talk to you and make you swear you’d tell him next time a situation like that would occur. 

vernon

on one hand he understands that you might not see the injury as something big enough to tell him, like - he has gotten hurt in the past and didn’t tell you either, but… it’d be nice if you did. vernon is not sure why he’s bothered by you not telling him, usually he’s very okay with most of your decisions, but a part of him is scared that the reason you hid the injury is because of you thinking he won’t care. yes, he might not be the best at taking care of people and prefers being the one taken care of, but you’re his partner and vernon will do anything he can to take the best care of you.

dino

his heart drops when he finds out you got injured and didn’t tell him. chan thrives on helping and taking care of his loved ones, he doesn’t care if he has to pull another all nighter just to make someone else happy - he does it with great joy. so when his partner, the apple of his eye, hides their injury from him? it hurts. it hurts deeply. there’s a part of him that feels betrayed, and he cannot help but think if you don’t trust him enough to care for you when you’re in need. chan knows that those thoughts and his reaction are a bit dramatic, but it’s the caretaker in him that just cannot live it down. 

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[emilicious0]

could you do like an alastor x doe! reader? he’s a deer and i feel like him with another deer would be nice :D

if not that’s fine too! have a great day! <3

alastor x doe! reader

should I make part.2 on what is their relationship like??

□ you were in hell for a much shorter time than alastor. despite this, you've heard the stories about "the radio demon" and his famous radio show, but never realized he was a deer.

□ you, on the other hand, were a doe. you had small ears positioned on top of your head and a small doe tail. your skin had some dots (the most visible ones were under your eyes).

□ you stumbled across the hotel in need of a safe space from some sharks that you encountered.

□ charlie excitedly brought you in, and then you finally met him.

□ looking at you with his usual smile, alastor couldn't help but notice how you resembled a doe, especially since he had never met someone who resembled the same animal as him.

□ so, he began to be curious about you.

□ it doesn't matter what you are doing; he is constantly somewhere near, which is logical since you two live in the same building, but it seems like he is always watching you.

□ and he likes scaring you: appearing all of a sudden at your back or scaring you with all sorts of similar things.

□ teasing you is also his favorite thing to do, for example, taking things from you and then making you reach for it while it's in his hand.

□ but after some time, alastor started to be more and more protective of you (even he himself didn't quite notice it at first).

□ the radio demon would help reach things from top shelves, protect you from angel dust's aggressive flirting, and, in general, by anything.

□ in the name of your safety, he started to stalk you a little, but not too much.

□ after some more time, he started to act like a true gentleman to you: if given a chance, he would open doors for you, hold your hand, if you need support (he only allowed you to touch him) and etc.

□ that's when he finally realized his feelings for you.

□ and his courting was pretty... passive-aggressive (in a good way, I think), but still very gentleman-like.

□ flowers for every possible occasion, preparing your meals, dedicating his radio shows to you, etc.

□ well, it worked because you two soon started a pretty cute relationship (in charlie's view at least; vaggie is afraid alastor is dangerous for you).

(gif not mine)