#especially from her nonsense in scream 6

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

[deadlyashesart]

Alastor's disappearance (Part 2)

PART 2 IS HERE WOOOH!!! Thank you all so much for the support on part 1, I really appreciate it, and it really helps with the motivation to create more! Part 3 will either come later today, or tomorrow! We'll see. After you read, feel free to let me know what you think! It's a shorter part today, sorry!!

Part 1

-----

A lot can happen in 7 years. Eventually, even the best memories become faded and blurry. Franklin’s passing in the recent extermination was a devastating blow to Rosie, but she could not falter in her duties as the overlord of Cannibal Town. Her people needed help cleaning up the disaster the exorcist angels had left, after all.

A week or so had passed since the last extermination, and everything was still a mess. Rosie sat on her couch with an exasperated sigh after a long day, tuning the radio in front of her to the channel 666 News. The new radio she had bought was quite unique. There was a circular screen right above the knobs that could show any channel, like a TV, but was only capable of showing black and white video. Her stomach twisted in faint guilt, knowing Alastor would’ve never approved of such a thing. But that didn’t matter, he wasn’t here.

The small screen flickered as the logo 666 NEWS disappeared in flames as quickly as it came, revealing the two hosts, Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench.

“Well Tom, it seems everyone in Hell is shitting their pants as new information about the extermination comes to light!” the hostess exclaimed dramatically. The man next to her attempted to speak but was immediately shushed. “Our sources tell us that the extermination dates have been changed, and will from now on arrive every 6 months! HA! We are so FUCKED!”

Rosie froze at the news, her heart dropping to her stomach. “No, no, it couldn’t be.” Her words were quieter than a whisper. She didn’t believe it. Her cannibals barely survived the attack as it is, but now that it had doubled in frequency, who knows what would happen to them?

Suddenly, she heard panicked screams come from outside the emporium—she figured her people would find out soon enough—and she stood up from the couch to make a much-needed announcement.

Walking outside, the people of Cannibal Town were assembled in the square, surrounding a white gazebo that already had a microphone in place. They waited desperately for Rosie’s arrival. She walked up to the gazebo and held the mic by its stand. For the first time in a long time, Rosie felt slight stage fright, seeing so many people looking to her for some sort of comfort.

“Attention cannibals and cannibettes, I’m sure you’ve all heard of the recent change in extermination dates… Please, do not worry your little heads about a thing! I will handle everything. I believe I have a meeting with the rest of the overlords of Hell scheduled soon, my colleagues and I will discuss it. Until then, I want you all to stay put and continue as normal. Thank you, that is all.”

The cannibals were quiet for a moment, ever so slightly disappointed in what she had to say, but they knew better than to question Rosie, especially right after Franklin’s death. Rosie locked eyes with Susan, who looked like she was about to start yelling out her usual annoying nonsense; Surprisingly, she didn’t say a word.

As Rosie prepared to make her leave, she heard a voice in the sea of faces yell, “Miss Rosie, were you aware of the rumor going around about the return of the Radio Demon?” Suddenly, the crowd burst into murmurs of agreement, all talking about Alastor’s alleged return.

“Some say he’s in cahoots with the princess of Hell, to help run that little hotel of hers!” another voice called out.

Rosie listened with little care, waving her hand as if to shoo away their words. “People, please. Thousands of rumors have surfaced since Alastor’s disappearance. What makes you believe this one to be true? Unfortunately, he is gone.” She paused, her own words leaving a faint sting. She shook her head in mild frustration at herself, she had gotten over that fact a long time ago— or so she believed.

-----

Rosie exited the glass elevator, giving a small nod to a fellow overlord as they crossed paths. Rosie had attended hundreds of meetings before, this was all very familiar to her. She began to make her way into the office when something—no, someone—caught her eye. Without warning, all the feelings she had tucked away, all her sadness, and all her frustration, had returned, causing her heart to ache painfully. She couldn’t show that here, though. Not now, while surrounded by a dozen other overlords.

Rosie continued her walk, trying to ignore the slight shake of nervousness in her body as she sat down. She felt someone move behind her, and then sit down right beside her. She stole a quick glance, it was him. The damned bastard who left without warning. Alastor.

-----

[flock-of-cassowaries]

So my hot take on NBC Hannibal is that is is a remarkably and relentlessly cynical story, in that every. single. character. abuses the power vested in the virtue of their profession.

Like, all the cops, all the doctors, all the psychiatrists.

Almost all the murderers, too - the bee lady is killing clients, as is the mushroom man, and the social worker; Randall Tier and Mason Verger are using the tools / items available to them from their jobs to commit murder; and Tobias Bunch and Garrett Jacob Hobbs are transforming parts of their victims into materials they use / sell at work.

The only characters I can think of who are not show to be ludicrously unethical at their jobs are:

1. The pharmacist-colleague of the Mushroom Man whom Jack inexplicably screams at;

2. Will’s long-suffering s2 defence lawyer;

3. Georgia Mädchen and Abigail Hobbs (no jobs, Literally Minors™️);

4. The child-kidnapper from Oëuf (no job); and

5. The Angel-Maker (deus diablus ex brain-tumor).

…but of the law-enforcement / law-enforcement-adjacent characters, we have:

- Hannibal

- Jack (routinely flouts rules and does things that endanger his subordinates and which are probably illegal; which, points for verisimilitude, I guess)

- Zeller (leaks info to Freddie Lounds)

- Beverley (a bit more of a stretch, but I’m fairly certain showing an accused serial killer / mental patient confidential information on other crimes isn’t okay; and she definitely broke into a suspect’s house without a warrant)

- Chilton (the most unethical psychiatrist since the CIA stopped funding the Montreal Experiments)

- Alanna (starts out straight and narrow, but becomes willing to take on the role of her ex’s keeper - incredibly unethical for a psychiatrist, especially with a patient being held in custody)

- Will (again, starts out reasonably ethical, but then slides into such ends-justify-the-means nonsense as [1] defiling corpses; [2] traumatizing museum staff with defiled corpses; [3] knowingly eating human flesh; [4] warning a serial killer of his imminent apprehension; [5] attempting to use various serial killers as tools to kill and/or bait other serial killers; and [6] attempting to extrajudicially execute a serial killer [via cliff]. )

And like, technically, you could just read it as “Hannibal’s influence corrupts those around him”; that certainly seems to be the case with Alanna and Will.

(And arguably, that is how we’re supposed to read Jack, but… as the self-appointed president of the Jack Crawford Hate Committee - fuck Jack.)

I think Hannibal would certainly find it flattering to read it that way. It would appeal very much to his narcissism.

It’s also quite possible that was the writing team’s authorial intent, too.

But that is absolutely not how people work.

Hannibal would’ve encountered people who were just stubbornly immovable in their refusal to endanger patients / subordinates / whatever.

And people who just found him creepy.

People who got a bad vibe the first time they met him, and just refused to ever reassess their first impression - not particularly fair, in most cases, but there definitely are people who operate that way.

And sure, perhaps Hannibal would have just killed some of them, but… we never see that happen. It’s just everyone in Toronto Baltimore, in every profession, is apparently either just as laughably crooked as the real RCMP, or as corruptible as soft cheese on a hot day.

Tangential postscript:

This inspired me to read the Wikipedia article on “Controversies surrounding the RCMP”, and while I will not get into the horrifying details, this sentence made me laugh out loud:

“A subsequent public inquiry concluded that the RCMP was at fault, showing a lack of professionalism…”

Which like… yeah. Technically true.

Sort of like saying that Andrew Tate lacks a firm grasp of intersectional feminism.

But not incorrect, per se.

[dragonworshippersblog]

Otto: if rhaenyra succeeds viserys, she will put your [alicent’s] children to the sword

The only person in the show who want to kill innocent children was otto himself “it is unsavory, yes but a sacrifice we must make to secure aegon's ascension […] lord commander Westerling, take your knights to dragonstone, be quick and be clean”. Otto wanted to make a massacre of a whole family, and the council agreed with him; on the other hand rhaenyra, nor in the book or in the show, never wanted or proposed the death of her half brothers and half sister.

Alicent: The prince Lucerys brought a blade to the ambush, he meant to kill my son

Meanwhile aemond picked up a rock and hit jace on the head, when he was on the ground bleeding he said “you will die screaming just as your father did, bastards”.

(disclaimer: I am not saying aemond deserves to lose his eye or that he really wants to kill jace, just that alicent’s accusation is nonsense since luke pulled out the knife only after aemond threatened he and his brother with death. Surely aemond didn't mean it but luke was sure,and it is understandable since he is the younger among those present, so acted accordingly by defending his brother, before this he never took the knife)

Alicent: the emblems of the seven serve only to guide us on an uncertain path to remind us of a higher authority.

The faith of the seven consider incest as a monstruos and vile sin, so it condemns incestuous marriages calling them an abomination. Yet alicent betrothal aegon and haelena because it was convenient to her; since she is so religious, with her actions she would condemn her children to damnation, but she doesn't seem to care much about that

Alicent: At the green council she said “Am I to understand that members of the small council have been secretly planning to install my son without me?” pretending to be completely uninvolved, but here is an evolution of older alicent from ep 6 to 8 (not including ep 9 because it show the green council and ep 10 because it is all based on rhaenyra and the black)

ep 6: she said to aegon “you are the king’s firstborn son. And what they know, what everyone in the realm knows in their blood and in their bones is that one day, you will be our king”. She also speak with viserys about rhaenyra’s children in the hope for him to change his mind, and in the council she alway discredit rhaenyra’s position

ep 7: it is the episode when aemond lost his eye otto said to her that she had the determination to win the game and now vaghar was at their side, then he conclude by saying that they will prevail

ep 8: she agreed to give driftmark to vaemond before the petition start, because it was safe “in the case of a war” have a more experienced men at the head of velaryon’s fleet.

If you still believe that she was not aware, or at least not expect that the council was scheming, then you are totally delusional (it's worth mentioning that rhaenyra had told alicent that the council was plotting to replace her and this was even before aegon was born, and that alicent admitted to otto that he was implacable in the idea of having aegon on the throne; so it was unthinkable to assume that he wasn't plotting especially at a time like this where viserys was ill and he had all the power. If you continue to assert that Alicent was in the dark, then you are consequently asserting that she is stupid)

Alicent: "We [woman] do not rule, but we may guide the men that do. Gently, away from violence"

Friendly reminder that aegon, alicent's son, rape the maids in the red keep. I find this this behaviour very far from being kind and being against violence; and if alicent is not capable of controlling her son as a prince, imagine once she has placed a crown on his head (in fact in fire and blood otto and alicent were convinced that once aegon was crowned king they would be the true rulers, and this is revealed to be false since he relieved otto of his position and act, most of the time, without listen to alicent)

Otto: “Queen Alicent has not forgotten the love you once have for each other”

Alicent did not forget the love she and rhaenyra shared when the latter might make decisions that harm her children, because when alicent abused rhaenyra then that love for her had never existed

Context: Alicent demanded that the baby rhaenyra had just given birth to be brought to her, not even having the decency to leave them alone for a few minutes after rhaenyra's painful delivery to bring the child into the world. In the second picture alicent and otto agreed to grant vaemond a petition for the wooden throne despite the fact that the succession had already been decided by corlys himself subjecting rhaenyra to great stress while she was pregnant. In the third rhaenyra had an abortion because her body could not cope with the pain after her father had died and his death was hidden from her, and consequently she could not say goodbye to him and take the ring he was wearing (a ring that belonged to aemma, the mother rhaenyra lost at a young age, photo 4), to this pain was also added the fact that her throne had been usurped by her childhood friend who a few days earlier had praised how good a queen rhaenyra would be. Of course, I have not included all the times where Alicent discredited rhaenyra and her opinions, and spread gossip about her children, calling them 'threats' and 'savages'. If this is love I can't think what would have happened if there was antipathy between the two.

[xceanlynx]

Hi! It's me, waking up from a nice nap to give my lovely mutuals, but especially @khaofirsts @hushedstars @drama-nonsense (the amazing people who accepted my letter-delivering proposal lol) my detailed experience in the FirstKhao fanmeet in Brazil!

So, I only got there by 3:45pm, and the gates would open to the general audience by 4pm (only the people who got VIP1 — the ones y'all probably saw taking solo pictures with First and Khaotung — got to enter earlier) and oh my God the lines were LONG. It was a bit more organized than how it was earlier (in the morning there was only one giant line that was divided by sectors in the afternoon) and the temperature was very nice, not as nearly as hot as it was the day before. Here, it was just a few minutes before it started:

One thing I want to emphasize so much is that there were so many different kinds of people there! Usually in events like this, with asian celebrities, the crowd tends to be more white, female presenting, more emo/punk vibes, and definitely more lgbtq+, but my guys, when I say there were people of all types, I MEAN IT. There were some nice ladies (that were probably 50+) cheering so much in the line, at first I thought they were mothers accompanying their kids but NO, they were fans! There were also a lot of men too, and gender non conforming people, trans people, you name it!

There were also many black and asian people, although white and white presenting people were still the majority (also, many photos may have you think there were only white and whiteish people but the lights that lit the crowd were so strong they basically made everyone look pale lol).

There were also many people from other countries. There were two guys (i believe they are a couple) that I have no idea where they were from, they only talked to staff in english but to each other they spoke some language I have no idea. There were also many latam groups, I saw some girls from paraguay, I know there was a group from Chile too, and there were probably more that I haven't seen. The crowd was DIVERSE!

But enough of all this pre fanmeet talk, let's get to the real stuff!

My moots. Dear moots. I almost lost my hearing /j. We were so loud, and we always are, it's basically cultural of Brazil to be louder than the artist, but last night was something else. Everyone was so excited, really, it is a different atmosphere.

The boys were so, so nervous! It was very easy to see how nervous they were in the beginning, but I think they got a lot more relaxed as the fanmeet went on. When they first entered singing, oh my god... They really got so surprised we were singing so loudly, I bet y'all have seen the footage already, it's all over twitter. They couldn't believe what they were seeing lol

Just a tiny video I took of part of their introduction (IN ALMOST PERFECT PORTUGUESE MIGHT I ADD) — bear with me I own a 6-year-old samsung and I was in the box seats, the quality won't be qualitying lmao (I made a friend while waiting in line and she'll send me some of her videos, thankfully)

I was kinda shocked, yet not really shocked, when I noticed that First wasn't singing live. Like I get it, we all know he isn't really a singer, and considering this was their largest event (by number of people: ~4k), they probably thought that it would be better that way. In any case, I don't think people really minded at all. We scream so loudly anyway that live or not, we would barely hear it lmao and he was such a charismatic performer, he interacted with everyone he could in the standing crowd. Mr. Kanaphan is a tease, you all!!!

Idk if that was just me but Khaotung sounded a little bit rough in his song, which he sang live. Maybe he had a sore throat? No idea, but by the last song (let's try) he sounded very good. Maybe it was recorded, but I really didn't noticed. Their stage presence got better and better at every song. AND RAPPER KHAOTUNG? OKAY! GIVE ME SOME MORE OF THAT!!!

The questions and games were very fun! I'm not the type that like much fanservice (all of this was fanservice, I know, but like, those obvious one, you get me?) but they were really nice and not much forced. The questions were also very nice and well-curated (no nonsense ship questions), although I think there were a couple of questions the translator didn't understand fully (also, we were screaming so much I can't blame her for not hearing) and she probably translated to them wrong/not complete, so their answers were a bit weird but we understood what they meant. Also, they tried to samba! The crowd singing Zeca Pagodinho! So random... poor boys were so, so awful lmao but we can forgive them because they're cute

The game interactions with the two fans were also really nice! The girls were very polite (one of them was very young and timid, poor thing) and yeah, it was cool *alexa, play "That Should Be Me" by Justin Bieber*

The surprise fan video was so wholesome. I was almost tearing up lol and when, in the video, a deaf fan appeared signing how much she loved them I lost it and just started crying. Really, they are such great people and their talent has entertained and inspired so many different groups, it really is heartwarming.

Okay, now for the picture: Look, I was in a trance like state. I have absolutely no idea how I got on that stage to take the photo. I was the last one of the group so I couldn't sit next to them, but I believe I got to be somewhat behind Khaotung? I remember seeing the top of his head. Oh my god I really blanked out

As for the hi touch, it was so fast I kinda also did not register much? My brain really was malfunctioning. What I can remember is: They aren't as tall as I thought? Like, I don't think they are lying about their height, I just realized I'm not as short as I thought lol I am 168cm and, with the shoes I was wearing I was probably ~171cm. Still shorter but not as short as I somehow thought I would be.

Their hands are soft. Very soft. Also, their skin literally is flawless, everyone was commenting how perfect it was, just like porcelain. I don't know what treatments they do, and what makeup they use, but I need the detailed list right now!

Also, fuck my life: I can try to say anything, literally anything, but when I get in front of celebs the only thing I can mutter is "hi" with a giant smile. What the fuck I couldn't even say something like "i love you" or "you're handsome".... NO. I JUST SAID HI AND LEFT 😭😭😭

Okay, that's pretty much how it went. Oh, and as I was waiting for my uber to arrive, and I was more distant from the venue so I could avoid the crowd. I was in the street right in front of the gates of the venue, but still more distant, there were probably like 10 people around me. I heard so many people screaming at the entrance of the venue — firstkhao were going back to the hotel (you can see the van in an earlier post of mine). They entered the van and then the van was signaling they were going to turn left to the same street I was waiting the uber. Oh. My. God. I started waving like crazy, they could not have missed me looking like those gas station inflatable men lmao I couldn't see them because the window was very dark but boy I just know they saw me again 😂😂😂😂

To finish up, as the official photo wasn't released yet, let me show where I am in the gmmtv pic. Look at top left where the arrows are pointing. See the two hands? That's me, baby

[caspersscareschool]

would u recommend working w kids? they are so so sillay. also leo being second oldest is very real to me and i love that your vibes for her are summer camp counselor

HI!! that's a complicated question because it really depends on who you are and what your needs are. kids are adorable and hilarious and i find their company extremely fulfilling, but they're also LOUD and EXHAUSTING, and you need to have a certain tolerance for screaming, grabbing, bluntness, and (if you work with toddlers like me) the occasional poopy situation. if you have sensory issues like me, I'd strongly recommend establishing a set time and place to recharge every day, (or even bringing headphones if you're able to) and setting clear boundaries, like "my body needs space right now," "i don't like being touched there, thank you," etc. (which also teaches them consent/setting their own boundaries as a bonus). if you've never really worked with kids before, you might look for opportunities to substitute, or even volunteer at libraries and whatnot to get a sense of how it feels for you. i feel like everyone remembers a teacher from their childhood who just hated their job and made it everyone's problem, so don't be that person. i guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important to put your wellbeing first, or you'll be miserable, and that will rub off on the kids.

personally, i love how kids are naturally curious and blunt. they will just say whatever. and it IS extremely exciting and fulfilling to watch them learn and grow in real time, because they absorb information SO FAST. it's important to be observant and patient and non-judgmental and kind, because they WILL emulate your behavior. every single day I'm delighted and surprised by one of them saying something sweet out of nowhere, supporting or comforting a friend, resolving a conflict on their own, pronouncing a word like CRUSTACEAN that's way beyond their usual reading level, or randomly asking to hold my hand or sit on my lap when they've never done that before....

HOWEVER. do not tell my employers i said this, but I'd eventually like to work with slightly older kids, like 6-8 year olds, because i feel like that's the age range where they've kind of had a chance to develop personalities and hobbies and interests (beyond favorite colors and animals and whathaveyou), and they're starting to learn how to make jokes and insult people but they just go about it in the funniest way possible. and their imaginary games have extended plotlines, and theyll sometimes just decide to write an entire comic book or movie script in an afternoon. and you can actually hold a conversation with them, wheras toddlers will often just lose interest and walk away if they don't immediately grasp something. you also have to be very direct with toddlers, which is something I'm still getting used to just because i really dislike talking down to people of any age or size. like do NOT get me wrong, i LOVE my 3-5 year olds, but i do miss babysitting 8 year olds from time to time. and age is something to consider, again, especially if you're squeamish about bathroom stuff. *shudders and stares off into the distance*

anyways that was probably a way longer answer than you wanted and just a bunch of nonsense words. tl;dr the answer is Yeah. If you want. ❤️

[shan-yee]

𝙰𝚟𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 ; 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗

ᑕᕼᗩᖇᗩᑕTᗴᖇᔕ = Lo’ak, Neteyam and Spider

ᔕᑌᗰᗰᗩᖇY = if your relationship was a trope + music lyrics -Na’Vi reader-

ᗯᗩᖇᑎIᑎᘜ = None.

ᗩ/ᑎ = It's been a really long time since I've posted and I hope I haven't lost my touch ! If you have any headcanon or other ideas I'm all ears, I don't have much inspiration these days. (I also write about Scream 6 just in case-)

☟︎𝙇𝙤´𝙖𝙠☟︎

-So, I would tend to say that it is a mixture of childhood friends to lovers and enemies to lovers.

-I don't know why but I can see Lo'ak falling in love with a young Na'Vi who would like to tease him all the time throwing small spikes at him while looking down on him, and even if he would look annoyed deep down it wouldn't really bother him.

-Lo'ak realized his feelings when he started wanting you to bother him, before he would have jumped on you but then he started not reacting much or whispering in his beard , but that didn't stop him from fighting back in his own way

- « Hey idiot ! » You say. Lo'ak gritted his teeth unresponsive, straining as his ears moved slightly. « Why are you red ? » « I am not red ! » « Yes you are, don't fall in love dummy ! ». « Shut up ! »

-Who wanted some enemies to lovers ? "Secrets i have held in my heart, are harder to hide than i thought, maybe i just wanna be yours ?".

-These words go really well with the state of mind of Lo'ak who would surely be totally lost with his feelings and who would also have a little trouble admitting them, you will have to help him a little.

☟︎𝙉𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙮𝙖𝙢☟︎

-Clearly Childhood friends to lovers, honestly I wouldn't see any other trope for him.

-Neteyam won't take long to feel something for his friend who would always be by his side and who he grew up with, someone he absolutely trusts and who doesn't see him as just the next Olo'eyktan or the eldest of the Sullys.

-He understood that he loved you when he found himself always looking for you and being worried, he is by nature but his need to have you near him became much stronger and different than the one he feels for his sisters.

- « Son, are you okay ? » « Where's [y/n] ? » « I don't know, why ? You want to tell her something ? » « Huh ? No ! No, I just wanted to know… »

-Put some glitter in his life please...« I just don't wanna miss you tonight, and i don't want the world to see me, 'cause i don't think that they'd understand , when everything's made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am. »

-As I said before, Neteyam doesn't want you to see him as the next Olo'eyktan or the eldest Sully, he wants to show you the person he really is, someone you will surely be the only one to know.

☟︎𝙎𝙥𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙧☟︎

-Ok I'm sure there would be drama- Forbidden loves a bit like Romeo and Juliet, but this is between a human and a Na'Vi.

-I can see Spider not being able to stop falling in love with a Na'Vi -who would be childhood friends with the Sullys-. The poor guy would be sad and would blame himself, knowing that a good part of the tribe considers him a foreigner and also because you are not of the same race.

- It was Kiri who tipped Spider off by commenting on the way he looked at you and his desire to be by your side or to protect you. However he rejected all her remarks not wanting anyone to know and especially not wanting to admit it to himself.

- « You love her right ? » Kiri asked. « What ? No ! Why would you think that !? » « Dunno…your eyes, i see a lot behind them. » « Stop talking nonsense. » « All right. »

-Okay hear me out ! « I spend to much time explainin' myself, i hope there's some time to change it, i can taste it, my heart's breakin', please don't say it. »

-Spider knows your relationship is next to impossible, why would you want a human like him ? You'll really have to show him your love and reassure him, but I'm sure it can work.

[tenitchyfingers]

Did I just construct an entire fan theory about how Chip from Serial Mom is Stu Macher? You better fucking believe I just did. And it actually does make sense (to me anyway, but i’m high on weekend relief so idk I think it fits).

Like hear me out- Serial Mom doesn’t really have a time setting but it was released in 1994 and the story takes place in Baltimore, Maryland while Scream is set in 1996 in California. Matthew Lillard plays Chip in Serial Mom and Stu in Scream, right? Well, that’s not the only thing the two characters have in common. First off, both are weirdly insensitive and kinda cruel although Stu is more extreme in this sense, and both are horror super fans (and Chip works at a video store which like, hello Randy??) and both love gore and morbid shit (ok but same thing). Also, both are weirdly into the idea of murder, and while Chip looks kinda flabbergasted by the idea of murder he’s also kinda really excited by the idea of it. He’s also kinda detached by how horrific the murders his mother committed are, although most other characters in the movie ARE properly horrified. He doesn’t turn against her, and let’s say he’s the most ride or die member of her family like, he’s probably his mom’s biggest fan right from the moment he hears she’s suspected of murder.

His mom is also VERY flamboyant and over the top, just like Stu is in Scream. And both have a weird relationship with the idea of rules, both really strict and really lax.

So anyway, he witnesses his mom get away with SIX murders with just as many witnesses, during trial (let’s give them leeway on how the trial goes, although I have heard of enough cases where murderers got away with it or justice wasn’t served based on bullshit loopholes and nonsense even though there was plenty of evidence right there and I don’t need to suspend disbelief too much, especially considering how closely the whole media worshiping angle mirrors the OJ trial and how part of it does sound like the Casey Anthony trial) so he’s like “I could do that too”, right? Beverly (mom) could get away with 6 murders, so wiggling out of more murder accusations is gonna be easy peasy (although she’s bold for murdering another person RIGHT after her trial, right outside the court she just came out of) and here’s how it goes: the poor dad, Eugene, is kinda stuck with a serial killer wife and two crazy kids who don’t see how bad what she did is, so he just decides to move everyone out of Maryland and try to lay low in a small town in California (where death penalty is still a possibility and Beverly LOVES that her husband is even thinking he could get away from her like it’s FUN

So they move to Cali and change names because the Serial Mom case was pretty big, they all change their looks and personas (which is how Chip, who now goes by Stu, is so good at mingling with other people by the time ‘96 rolls in whereas Misty, now called Leslie, does manage laying low and doesn’t really commit crimes and once she finds out Stu is the killer she completely breaks contact with him, but she won’t tell anyone cause that kinda opens a whole can of worms and she doesn’t want to (her whole moral system was pretty much fucked the moment she realized her mom was a serial killer).

So anyway, in Woodsboro Stu meets Billy, and he immediately sees this kid is not like all the others, and once he hears Billy’s mother left, given how Stu loves and admires HIS mother, he’s like, fuck yeah let’s do this because god i’d be a wreck too, thank fuck my mom is still around. And when Billy reveals his mother leaving is due to Sidney’s mother he’s surprised, but he’s even more sympathetic, like wow this kid has it really bad. So, here’s an alternative, homebrew motive for Stu, because yeah he’s way too insane from the start to think his “pressure” motive is anything but an excuse.

And then this theory kinda offers an alternative explanation to the ‘my mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me’ line (other than it was ad-libbed YEA I KNOW) aka dad is gonna be mad because holy shit why can’t I have a normal family, now I’ll have to move everyone again and it’s your fault Chip, and mom is gonna be mad because I got away with six murders with plenty of witnesses, I AM DISAPPOINT CHIP (and he doesn’t wanna disappoint mom!!! 😢)

This also sneaks right into the Stu Lives theory because that is THEIR house, and since it’s THEIR house and they have lots of money mostly due to dad being a successful dentist (hehehe Little Shop of Horrors) and mom knowing enough about the ins and outs and gossips around the Westboro police, they manage getting Stu’s alive body discreetly switches out for someone else’s and fake his murder.

And hey, he might move with his family somewhere close to Maryland now and go back to his previous identity now, since he’s innocent of any wrong doing when he’s Chip Sutphin.

[edelorion]

pso2 chess headcanons because i felt like it!!

this will contain a bit of spoilers so do finish episode 6 maybe -w-

okay so.

Afin: he's a beginner. he knows how the horse moves but if you throw an en passant on him he'll be very confused. leaves pawns and pieces hanging constantly. but he's a good sport about it! "Aw crikey, didn't see that one! Good game, mate!"

Matoi: okay so as klariskrays 2 she never had the time to play and even now after the defeat of the primordial darkness she never really has an interest in chess. however, she's not bad at it. her playstyle is very defensive and while necessary sacrifices have to be made sometimes if she can avert the taking of a piece or a pawn on her sideshe usually does.

Quna: like matoi, as zelsius quna AND an idol she never had the time to play but after the defeat of tpd i think she's probably taken it up as a hobby. and just like her former assignment as zelsius she's completely unassuming until she suddenly ICBMs your queen and there's nothing you can do about it.

Casra: okay he's actually taken the time to learn how to play chess. and he's good at it. he could win against anyone in the Oracle fleet with a bit of effort bar from anyone whose name starts with x. he's fancy and unconventional to stump players whenever he knows they can't handle it, but he's very defensive and by the book whenever he's playing against an actual competent opponent. CAN'T resist an en passant.

Zig: really good. picked up chess in his downtime. can hold a candle against casra. his philosophy while playing is that diamonds are formed under extreme heat and pressure and as such he's super offensive in his play. he breaks you down, so you can build yourself up. and if he finds the opponent survived his trial he's okay with... letting them win a bit. as a treat. especially does this with matoi. he's really good at blitz chess in particular.

Io: best girl BEST GIRL how does she perform?? pretty alright! but she breaks down easily whenever things don't go as she planned. she's very bold in her plays but whenever she's threatened she's internally screaming. probably taunts a little -w-

Pietro: failboy. does the bongcloud unironically because he genuinely doesn't know it's a bad opening. anytime he plays it's like a trainwreck that you can't look away from

Zeno: not that great. tried picking up chess after the defeat of tpd but never got the hang of it. at most he plays a casual match against echo or matoi but he's not that great.

Echo: comeback queen. she knows the openings, but her midgame is a little weak, however she's good at persisting after pieces are lost. probably won a few times against io after io took her queen and was SO assured of her victory

Risa and Hariette: do i even need to say it. risa would rather be shooting things than be playing chess but every game is HELLISH NIGHTMARE. she's more offensive than Zig and plays EXPLICITLY to see the doom in people's eyes as she trumps them at every aspect. and hariette? she knows this. and she helps. whenever hariette's in full control though she plays a good, clean, and strategic game on her own, and her decisionmaking skills really shine through. xiao's pleasantly surprised to see either of them play like this.

Pati: does not care for chess. but every time someone else plays she commentates and makes up random names for the attacks and gambits and defenses like "The Tyrell Defense, Rico Variation" and "The Flowen Gambit" to make it seem more exciting to people and to make herself seem smart until Tia calls her out on the nonsense.

Tia: actually knows alot of chess theory, but has very little practice. a pretty good commentator with quite a bit of insight however. can't help but backseat play a little though... until pati starts shouting about a "Kireek Method Attack" or something like that.

Melrandia: actually learnt chess from melfonseana, her sister, who probably won an arks chess championship one time. as for melrandia herself, she's also rather good but kinda shy about it. focuses alot on defense, and doesn't do anything fancy bar for a scholar's mate sometimes since that's the first thing melfonseana taught her. she pulled it against io once and she made her cry

Maria: she's pretty good. as non-CAST she picked it up as pastime whenever she's not busy, but nowadays she has little time for it. but when she plays, she's a menace. she especially strives in high-speed, high-stakes scenarios like blitz or bullet chess. she knows most of the good openings and knows how to make the best of them and carries that momentum all the way to endgame.

Regius: bold and brash when he first picked it up, but has since quenched it, and now as a CAST, he's just pretty good... but does like doing the more unconventional tactics sometimes. but against maria, he's super serious. he'll beat her one day.

Xion: beyond stockfish. any move she plays is the best in its situation. she has never lost a game. she will never lose a game. she knows everything about her opponent and WILL play the perfect game each and every time. she is a menace. cold. calculated. an utter destroyer. may the akashic records have mercy on your soul, since its librarian has none to spare ゴゴゴゴ

Xiao: almost on the same level as xion. but he's much less player as he is teacher. each game he plays he invites the opponent to improve. he lets them figure out their flaws, lets them improve on them, and then decimates them. often leads on casra into thinking he's winning against him before pulling the rug right under him

Xiera: cheater. she's decent but any time she's losing she taps into xiao and uses his processing power to completely decimate her opponent. she thinks she's sneaky about it but she really isn't. it's gotten so bad that xiao personally comes down to shame xiera each time she does this.

main character: lemme paint you a picture for this.

Xiao: "Oof, you lost a piece there..." MC: "..." Xiao: "Wait, it's the Timestream-- Stop! How far back are you trying to go?!" <AP 2XX, 10 seconds before> MC: "...So I castle instead." Xiao: "hhhh you cheater."

if any of you have more chess HCs esp. for characters i've missed (pso2 or ngs) please reblog and share them!!

[amischiefofmuses]

ALASTOR CHARACTER INSPO Saw people doing this and figured I'd throw my hat into the ring, the formatting of the one I saw didn't really work for me though so here's this one instead.

Each inspo section is explained under the cut!

BILL CIPHER- Thriving on causing chaos, he's a changeable creature with a lust for power and control. Will gleefully harm others-especially if they've slighted him in some way, or as a way to prove a point. Manipulative but doesn't hide his sinister nature in the slightest, instead he waits on opportunities to strike when others are desperate and have no other choice. Also will happily be the one to manufacture that desperate situation in order to push his agenda.

2. WILL WOOD & THE TAPEWORMS - Specifically the SELF-ISH album, something about the energy of it screams Alastor to me. Will's voice specifically has that unhinged 'one more problem away from absolutely destroying everything' kind of quality to it.

3. HANNIBAL LECTER - Another manipulative bastard, yet one with some kind of rules in his killing (at least in NBC's iteration). Eat the rude seems fairly fitting to the morals Alastor tends to have, though he's not above killing just about anyone to protect himself if he must. Even those he 'cares' for, or as close to love as is possible for him.

4. MARCELINE - This may seem like a strange one but the daddy issues are there, as well as the strong connection with her mother. Her mother was her only point of connection for a good while, the two of them relying eachother- before that was taken away from her. I could also argue for the whole defensive thing she has going on early on in the series, where she kept others at arms length for fear of getting attached but I'll admit that's reaching a bit.

5. CECIL PALMER - Admittedly this is mostly the radio host thing, they both have such a passion for it. Not to mention that when things descend into chaos in WTNV it's very easy to imagine to envision it as Alastor discussing nonsense going on in Hell. Also Cecil can be such a snarky guy and that absolutely suits Alastor to a tee.

6. BAMBI - Perhaps the most obvious and surface-level one here. Deer. Mama's boy. Mother was shot. I used the Bambi story to inspire the events in my Alastor's past, not much more to say about this one really.

[voidartisan]

Welcome to the blog.

Make yourself at home

(Fic masterlist and spoiler tag policy below the cut)

🔹She/her, arospec ace

🔹I go by AJ, or Void, if that feels more natural to you

🔹Psychology student with a fine arts minor

🔹Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

🔹Usually screaming about Star Wars (mostly the prequels, or, let’s be honest, anything with Obi-Wan Kenobi in it for more than .05 seconds)

🔹Also a fan of lots of other media, including but not limited to: Tolkien's Legendarium, The Queen's Thief series, Howl's Moving Castle, Pride and Prejudice, Parks and Recreation, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Princess Bride, Wooden Overcoats, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Lunar Chronicles, and some of my beloved childhood fandoms

🔹Occasional artist (read: doodler), slightly more frequent writer

🔹I have one sideblog, @arafinweanappreciation, for Tolkien content

🔹I really REALLY like answering asks so don't be afraid to inbox me random questions if you ever want to

🔹I try to be diligent about organizational tagging for characters and fandoms so things will be easy to find, as well as spoilers for blocking purposes

🔹On that note, I usually only tag spoilers for ongoing content (i.e. I’ve never tagged spoilers for rebels or tcw), and stop tagging spoilers 4-6 weeks after a finale drops. If you’re currently watching a Star Wars show that finished its most recent season more than a month ago, scroll at your own risk

🔹 #void doodles - my art tag

🔹#talking into the void - mostly me rambling about irl stuff. feel free to block it if you're here for fandom stuff tbh. doesn't hurt my feelings

🔹 #aj writes - my fanfic and related posting

Currently reading: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

Fic Masterlist

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka:

against the dying of the light: Sometimes your master's master has more influence on your training than you think. And sometimes they send you a physical reminder.

i saw waves lifting the sea: queer grandmaster-grandpadawan bonding. that's it. that's the fic.

softly in the gloom they heard the birds: you know that meme where the two characters are both trying take a bullet for the other??? yeah.

it's cold on the floor: very short one-shot that i wrote entirely for the joke at the end. potentially the only thing i've written that doesn't contain any angst

Obi-Wan and Anakin:

i owe it to my brothers: an anthology of obi-wan and anakin snippets, currently very short

Disaster Lineage:

fallen sentries: A post-Lawless Arc story focusing on Obi-Wan's particular method of grieving, and how Ahsoka and Anakin have to figure out how to deal with it.

resemblances: Ahsoka looks back on her masters and her training during her time in the Rebellion

come by it honestly: a snippet of Obi-Wan and Ahsoka dealing with Anakin's nonsense, even (especially) when he's not around.

you cried when you cut your hair: exploring lineage dynamics through padawan braids

The Bad Batch:

the final standing domino: Omega gets curious about some old holos Echo is looking at. Angst ensues.

the sincerest form of flattery: omega is growing up a little too fast for hunter's taste, and not fast enough for hers (fluffier than it sounds)

Post-S2 finale drabble: written in the wait between S2 and S3, critically acclaimed (critics being hunter stans in the notes)

Post-S3 finale double drabble: written in the throes of tbb update withdrawals and the wake of [SPOILERS REDACTED]

Cody and Obi-Wan:

ori'vode: Cody is (unintentionally) emotionally assaulted by a preteen [i had to make this summary humorous because i DID cry while writing it. multiple times]

scars: Obi-Wan and Cody snippet from the early Clone Wars, feat. Cody acting his (physical) age for approx. 2 min.

AWOL: an angsty one-shot written in honor of cody's first awol-iversary

Clan Kryze:

aay'han: Korkie snippets, mostly relating to Satine, her legacy, and their relationship

Satine Week 2024: What is says on the tin, a collection of Satine-centric one-shots inspired by the Satine Week prompts.

Modern AU:

and we don't notice any time pass: the main body of the modern au. constructed almost entirely of song lyrics, nostalgia, and and found family tropes. the clone wars but make it napoleon dynamite. sort of

Other/Multi:

ahsoka tano gets her man: the fluff filler episode of clone wars i always wanted but never got, feat. obitine, korkie and ahsoka friendship, and obi-wan and ahsoka bonding.

to catch a tooka: it is a truth universally acknowledged that all stray cats must be in want of a teenage girl to adopt them

sabacc face: trapped in an escape pod? nothing to do? consider card games and accidentally digging up old family drama/trauma

it's every breath that comes before: short qui-gon death fic. his pov for the theed generator fight in tpm. i made myself sad

Obi-Wan and Luke minific: look. Obi-Wan and the twins---

[drivenbywords]

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰.

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦." - Unknown

The sound of a ringtone going off caused me to flutter my eyes open, making them gaze around for a moment then look down at my watch for the time. 6:00am. Just about thirty minutes until my flight. I didn’t think this day was gonna come; last night, I had to give myself a long pep talk to try not to pussy out from doing this. I’m glad I didn’t because I had to do this. It was necessary for me and my sanity. I thought about doing this for a while, probably over a year now. Where I would just drop everything and leave; get away, find what I need, and be what I’ve always wanted to be. Happy. I couldn’t do much of that while staying here in New York. I couldn’t be very happy surrounded by my family. I couldn’t be near the places where trauma occurred, and I deserved a change in scenery. I didn’t even tell anyone about me leaving, I just left a note on the front door of the family house. No one was home so I took what I needed in boxes and bags before I headed to the airport. My parents were on a trip in Chicago and wouldn’t be back for a couple days, so when they see that, I’ll be long gone from their lives. They deserve it; not because they were terrible parents, but they deserved a better daughter. A better child.

All I took with me was my suitcase with a couple outfits and a new phone that I got with the last of my money the day before. I didn’t want anyone to come and look for me, especially my mother. She would turn the town upside down to try and find me and I didn’t want that. Even though it makes me choked up just thinking about the fear in her eyes and the pain from thinking of her daughter leaving, I still wanted to do this for myself. Even though I didn’t have a destination for a while, I finally did about a week ago when I booked this flight. California. So, I could finally meet her. My sister, my half-sister to be exact. Ryann.

I found out about Ryann months ago when I was cleaning my father’s office. It was cleaning day and my family knew I was thorough in my routines around the house. I opened a drawer to return the stapler to its original place, that was when my eyes caught a folder that wasn’t there before. I told myself not to look into it, but my curiosity got the best of me. There was a picture of my father with a little girl on his lap. But it wasn’t me and that brought out my confusion, even more when I saw more pictures of those two together. I saw another picture of the two of them waving at the camera, that was when I turned on the light to get a better look at her to see if I could recognize her. I saw some ink bleeding through the picture. I flipped it over to see the words, ‘Ryann and dad at the county fair.’ That turned my stomach to a complete 360 and I didn’t know if that was from anger or happiness. Anger from my father never having the heart to tell me the truth about it, or happiness from learning about another person in this dysfunctional circus called a family. After discovering more information on her, I took it to the internet and looked her up. Ryann Camryn Roberts. She moved and has lived in Charming, California after our dad and her mother broke up. I considered shooting her a message and letting her know about me and my story, but I thought I was gonna be just some fucking creep saying nonsense of ‘Hi, my name is Jennifer and I’m your half-sister. Tell me about yourself.’

But after a month, I finally got the balls to reach out through social media and introduce myself. I didn’t know what would happen, either she would be weirded out and not reply back or just scream at me and tell me that she didn’t want to do anything with our father. But it was neither; it was actually a pretty nice conversation. We were pretty similar when it came to sense of humor and the love we had for other people. Damn, she really was my sister. I mentioned I wanted to leave my hometown and get a fresh start, she mentioned that she had her own place and didn’t mind if I was there for a while. I promised to find a job to help with rent until I was able to get back on my feet and we went from there. Which led me to this point, in the airport, with a cup of hot chocolate that was quickly getting cold in one hand, and my ticket in the other hand, attempting to be patient to get the hell out of here and go across the country. I brought the paper cup up to my lips when a stranger decided to take a seat a chair apart from me. I did a quick glance to notice their long curly hair with a pair of glasses and a black ‘Nirvana’ top. Which made me give them an absentminded head nod towards their direction, acknowledging their shirt with a small smile. It was reciprocated with a nod and smile which was pretty adorable. They seemed to be around my age which made things more comfortable for me. We were in silence for a moment before I abnormally started the conversation between the two of us. 

“Nice shirt, great band. My dad bought me a lot of Nirvana shirts growing up, so I had somewhat of a large collection of those.” They expressed a chuckle, which brought another smile to my lips. They had a cute laugh, not gonna lie. “To be honest, I stole this from my brother. I packed everything up in my suitcase and had nothing to wear for the airport, so here we are.”

“Respect.” I brought a laugh out from my reply along with theirs, finally taking that sip of hot chocolate. After I swallowed the sip, I became bold and decided to talk more instead of just stopping from the short, small talk. “So where are you headed?”

“Denver. I’m going for a much-needed vacation from everything and wanted to go to one of my favorite places in the world, actually. I know; Denver out of all places, but I find some peace when I’m there. So why the hell not?” I shook my head gently at their reply with a shrug of the shoulder. “No judgment here. If you love that place and it brings you comfort, there’s no stopping you from getting what you want. Everyone deserves a vacation.”

Those words brought a smile on their lips which made me do the same. I did find the good in things from time and time again, I’m not always a pessimist. “Thank you,” they said, bringing out their phone to check the time before glancing around. It seemed like they were expecting more people to join, but I didn’t wanna ask or assume.

“So where are you go-” Their question was cut short due to the announcement ‘Good morning passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to LAX. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes. Thank you.’

I chuckled before getting up, taking my stuff from my lap while grabbing the handle of my suitcase. It wasn’t my turn to board yet, but I couldn’t help getting excited yet anxious for what was to come for me. I shrugged my shoulders with a slight wink towards the person that got my attention for a while, giving them a small smile before finally sharing my answer.

“Somewhere new.”

[myimaginarywonderland]

Ranking all the scream movies but it's probably highly controversial (expect my number one)

1. Scream (OG)

Nothing beats the OG and no Ghostface will ever come close to Stu/Billy. The combination of these two was literally it. A crazy guy + a dude that wants revenge and goes crazy in the process? Nothing beats them. They are the duo and they're combination that was not only the most iconic but they are also just so great killers. They planned it but their charisma added to the psychotic aura of it all. Not to mention the iconic characters that were in this movie and the relationship that were actually really explored in this.

2. Scream 3

People love to hate this movie but Roman was literally such a great Ghost face. That whole plan? This could easily be even higher but they kind of underdeveloped him a bit and he still is better than almost 90% of the others. I wish we had gotten a meeting or a backstory between him and Syd more and he deserves to be in another movie (besides Stu) because holy shit be was so interesting. Not to mention the solo ghost face? He is quiet literally technically the best ghost face but God was he also such an interesting character. Yeah maybe the movie set wasn't that great but it was so interesting to show how the public would actually realistically treat an event like this. Not to mention it truly also showed how everyone struggled and was not really fully coming to terms with it. This movie was a banger eventhough it had some of the most interesting side characters.

3. Scream 2

Honestly a great movie eventhough there were some cringe scenes. The motive of Miss Loomis? Genuinely solid and reasonable in a fucked up way. Mickey? Icon. Motive didn't really make sense but he popped off so hard.

Only thing that makes this movie bad really are some cringe scenes but then again they fit really well honestly when you consider this is Syd basically catching up on teenage nonsense. Oh and Randy should have survived but I am kind of still a bit weirded out by his character so I am not to saddened by it. Although I would love the plottwist of him being alive and being hidden somewhere to come back with Stu. (I am delulu.)

Would be higher because the story actually slaps but I love Roman way too much to put this higher.

4. Scream 6

I don't like this movie necessarily but there were some really cool sequences and actually interesting storylines plus they developed an actual plotline. Don't like the Ghostfaces in this (probably the least out of all the actual ones in the movies main story line) but actually interesting change up from the usual two ghost faces. Plus some of the shoots were so amazing and no one can deny that. The sequences they did with this really popped off. Are there many flaws? Undoubtedly (the plot armor for Chad is literally unreal and compares to no one in the franchise.) But sometimes I am blinded by the incredible chases they had for this so there's that.

5. Scream 4

Jill and Charlie's are just flat compared to other killers. Charlie sure is a brutal killer but his entire personality is bland to me. I feel like where as in the others at least had something going for them, he just made me feel literally nothing. He invoked no emotion in me and that is literally the worst thing he could do especially when we know how much he actually did as ghost face.

That love thing is also just such a boring excuse for a killer and Jill is just uninteresting to me personally. She was crazy but just in an unejoyable way that I couldn't bother to understand because her motive was bad/boring. Jealousy? Crayzness and fame? It just felt like people have shown different reasons for her but also want to claim she is as crazy as Stu but then she wouldn't need a motive yet people seem to justify her actions by something? It just seems like people like to praise her as the smartest when the reality is that was Roman. Yes she would have been far closer where the others not protected by plot armour but I just had no fun seeing her succeed as the killer where at least the others made me root for them sometimes in a "I want to see what it would be like if they won" kind of way.

I only rate it higher because the fifth movie was for me even more predictable than this one and frankly ass for me.

6. Scream 5

Amber and Richie are just so boring. Genuinely don't get the hype for them. Richie was just weird and had no charisma to him. Dude literally is just a walking red flag. Amber was just some wannabe Stu and people don't want to accept that. Dewey should have survived that movie. His death was literally so unsatisfying and you are telling me that the dude who survived everyone else was overpowered by some wannabe shits. You are giving him that plot armor to take it of not by someone who genuinely could overpower him like Roman, Nancy (a mother with rage has unbelievable strength) or Mickey but Amber or Richie? Please that is the most unrealistic thing.

And I hate the entire Billy's daughter plotline. Not to mention the fact that it is setting up to explore some dark side yet she keeps getting excused for her brutal kills? The way she slaughtered Richie is literally not normal. The OG 3 survivors killed to safe their lives but she is literally doing the same shit her father did. If she just slashed his throat sure but the way she attacked him multiple times? That's not a survivor that's a killer.

And Richie/Amber once again were obvious. Richie literally was weird from the beginning and no one would actually trust him.

There's also the fact that they basically just gave the plot armour to Chad and Sidney surviving this was almost as unrealistic as Scream 4.

This also started this weird family of victims/killer thing (technically it was 4 but this was the true start) something that was just such a bad storyline to me I could not enjoy.

[getmemymicroscope]

After Raksha Bandhan (or well, maybe before it - I don't know the exact release dates of the movies), another Akshay Kumar movie that decides to kill off the best character (though, in this case, maybe tied for best - Dr. Gabrielle and AP are both pretty cool).

So, so much infuriating stuff that takes an interesting-ish story and some cool characters (along with a whole bunch of shitty ones) and makes it painfully frustrating to watch.

Infuriating, #1: Akshay's character. He's so steadfastly "we need evidence"-mindset that it ruins his life, ruins the life of his wife/kid, and gets Dr. Gabrielle killed. And yet, he keeps at it. To a fault. From the start. I mean, even after the first combined-issue of his face and his kid, you'd think he would learn. But he doesn't. He forces them all to go with him, and it costs her her life - even as she, repeatedly, argued it wasn't necessary. He also fucking gets AP killed ... and then saves the bad guy!

Infuriating, #2: Akshay's character, again. He knows the bad guy is trying to kill him, and knows they might be considered as dead. So when he comes across them on the boat - he just stays in full view for the bad guys to actually see them all. Like, fucking hide you moron! We already hate you for being heartless and stupid and stupidly atheistic (like, there's a difference between being atheistic and essentially calling the entire religious history of your country a lie), and now this. ... And then, again, a bit later. Now we're also mad at him for getting Gabrielle killed (unrelated, why is it Dr. Gabrielle and not Dr. 'last name'?), and we have to sit and watch as we see someone looking for him and, instead of hiding or something, he just stares until the people can recognize him and start chasing. Like, what the hell dude?

Infuriating, #3: I know this is Bollywood, but what the hell was that song - both the actual song and the purpose of it in the plot. Such a mess. And a pointless song and time-waster, no less.

Infuriating, #4: Nushrratt Bharuccha's way-too-small role. And then the fact that he gets mad at her for knowing where he might be going because she cares about what he does and tries to pay attention. Ass. And, semi-related to this infuriating point: the guy is standing in a helicopter talking to them from mid-flight, and they hear everything he's saying?! That's not how this works. ... In fact, this entire fucking helicopter scene destroys the whole fucking movie. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NONSENSE?! Utter fucking bullshit.

Infuriating, #5: They also kill the other character in running for "best character in the movie." (Another reason to absolutely hate that helicopter scene as the worst thing Bollywood has ever given us.) Poor AP. He deserved better. Hell, everyone associated with Akshay's character here deserved better. What a disaster of a person.

Infuriating, #6: The girls screaming "run fast" as he tries to get away from an about-to-explode helicopter. So, so annoying.

When this turns into a preachy courtroom drama, the infuriating things actually sorta stop because - as infuriating as some of it is, such as the other lawyer, and his preaching - it's so much better than everything we've seen up to this point (including the two horribly unnecessary deaths of the cool characters).

This movie tries to make vague hints to the Ramayan, but it really fails at the 'vague' bit of it: it's like hitting you in the face with a hammer. Him lifting the rock and walking on the bridge; AP being like Hanuman, further driven home by the playing of the Hanuman Chalisa when the realization hits him - it's a very, very painful hammer.

The deaths of Dr. Gabrielle and AP, though, absolutely crush. Especially Dr. Gabrielle, because you know she was right all along. And because she didn't deserve it at all - she'd been arguing against his pointless "we need more" nonsense the whole time - and it cost her her life while he got to continue on and put more people's lives at risk, repeatedly.

[murfpersonalblog]

@evilista "he's as flaming as he can be without being murdered"

ACCURACY 👏

Louis was definitely fighting his vampirism (and especially Lestat's draconian dogmatic whitesplaining), but as for the queerness, yup--Louis was out there married with his whole chest! In a lot of ways he's a lot like Eff-All-Y'all-Paul--i WANT father maTHIas. 😅

Louis' queerness became entangled with vampirism, because Lestat was such a freaking problem. Lestat represented every -ism Louis had struggled with and had to reconcile in his life: racism, sexism, vampirism, classism/capitalism, Catholicism, etc. But Lestat also represented what Louis thought was gonna be his ticket to FREEDOM. "You couldn't look weak on LIBERTY." Lestat is walking talking Liberalism. With Lestat Louis felt seen & heard & emboldened--some gay people wait to find the person who makes them feel like coming out will be worth whatever backlash they end up facing. He felt safe(r) with Lestat--Lestat's white rich vampire priviledge actively protected Louis. Louis didn't have to assimilate with Lestat (not really, not at first). Certainly no slinking off to the nasty bayou just to get a BJ from another man, the "lies I told myself about myself." He really could take Lestat to dinner cuz "Mama loves European." People literally fell over themselves to give Lestat (and Louis by association) a pass--"it's the humidity, it does that sometimes" 😍 "why not make Mr. Lioncourt the public face of your operations?" 🤑 Literally EVERYONE knew they were gay, but turned a blind eye (at first), "I heard that about you two." Lestat promised Louis this whole bag of goodies, live your truth Without Apology (TM), and Louis was like Bet!

But then reality came crashing down.

The tragedy of IWTV is seeing how far Louis falls. He goes from being this take no nonsense driven go-getter Mr. I wanna buy the Fairplay Saloon Mr. Fire Escape, and we just see this poor man slowly being chipped away at, by Society out in public and by Lestat back at home.

All of his mother's niceties towards Louis AND Lestat evaporated once Paul died. Mrs. "Humidity" becomes Mrs. "Overdressed Self" practically overnight, no more excuses for Lestat (and certainly not a CRUMB for Louis). The 2 beds or 1 goes from harmless gossip to threats from the cops. "We would go underground. There would be no Roaring 20s for us." Underground societally, locked away in the townhouse to avoid public censure, but also the word play on them being undead vampires who would otherwise be 6 feet under. Their gayness was entangled with their vampirism (the cops were called because of Claudia's 56 Floaters, but they left commenting about the 1 bed). ALL of it factored into them going back into the coffin/closet for almost a decade.

Homophobic SOCIETY forced him back into the closet. And then we see Lestat force him into the "small box" (i.e. love, i.e. a literal coffin).

By Ep5 Lestat's fully revealed himself to be the villain in Louis' life (the most conservative, patriarchal overlord ever, what "liberalism"?); and yes, to a certain extent we can 100% read queerness being villainized, because of all those complex entanglements--all those -isms Lestat represents, for Louis/Anne Rice, the "unhappy housewife." But it was never really about Louis being gay, WHAT he was, but rather WHO he was gay/vampiric with. Louis found his libido again real quick once Jonah popped in. Louis had iced Lestat out--go have fun with Antoinette, cheater. He started eating people again once Claudia said she "felt looked down on for her body's needs." With Armand Louis not only cruises for men more, but he also drinks more blood than ever, whatever that "Farm" is. 💀 Louis assimilates VERY well when some blonde French White man isn't screaming down his neck. Enjoy the swamp/dump, Lestat. 🤡

Episode 7 is Louis breaking every chain shackling him down. He's off the plantation, he's leaving America, he's divorcing his husband, he's starting fresh somewhere new, hot girl summer, Mr. Loumand. He's perfectly fine being a gay vampire with Armand, not resisting/rejecting either facet of what he is, because Armand is not the embodiment of every societal pressure or personal desire/ambition or familial loss Louis' experienced. Armand is not Louis' Maker. Armand is a blank slate. Unfortunately for Louis, however, he's been lulled into yet another false sense of security with Armand, another bag of goodies promised that is really just full of coal and ashes. And the carousel comes round again, cuz Louis just can't catch a dang break.

When it comes to Louis’ queerness he is not trying to assimilate and I don’t know how someone may come up with that conclusion. Maybe if you’re going into the show thinking that his vampirism is a metaphor for his queerness then you can easily connect the dots and say that “The way that Lestat goes about being a vampire represents unabashed queerness and Louis vampirism represents assimilation and because Louis is always fighting with his vampirism then that means he’s always trying to fight with his queerness.” And because Lestat is the villain of the first season it can come off as the show demonizing queerness. But Louis’ queerness and his vampirism are two different things that he treats differently. Even with the time period and laws that are in place he still drags Lestat along everyone he goes. He brings him to family functions. He brought him and Claudia to his moms funeral even though he knows that his mom was homophobic. He’s out here getting super neck in the swamp by another man. He knows that everyone knows that he’s gay and yet he still runs around everywhere with Lestat like…that man is not assimilating especially by episode 7 💀

Even if he was maybe ask yourself why. Why would a black man in the Jim Crow south try his hardest to assimilate?

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets: The Muppets Take Manhattan: Meh In Mahattan (Comissioned by Emma Fici

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Monthly Muppets, your slice of monthly muppety madness funded by readers like you.. you specifically Emma Fici, my friend who funds these and picks out each months selection.

Today we look at the iconically titled Muppets Take Manhattan. While they weren't the first to take the big apple, their the ones who popularized it with everyone from jason to ghostface having taken it ever since. I mean I assume that'll be Scream 6's title , why else set it in new york. C'mon paramount, cm'on radio silence, let it be Ghostface Takes Manhattan. Me's in the area concur it's a great title. Their your target demographic: Aging orangutans who watch a lot of dead meat and children's cartoons!

Yeah! I feel good about this. So on that high Muppets Take Manhattan is notable for a lot of reasons: It's the last film in what i'm now calling "The Henson Trilogy", the three films starring Kermit and Co done while Jim was still alive, the ones most people think of when they think Muppets movie (along with Christmas Carol and Treasure Island), and some of the works that helped define the troupe outside of the muppet show.

This film is also notable for being the solo directing debut of Muppet maestro and mean green mother from outer space Frank Oz, who co-directed Dark Crystal with Henson. With a massive workload and pure exaustion from directing two films back to back, and that's on top of launching Fraggle Rock around the same time. He needed a second to catch his breath so he put the operation in Frank's first class hands.

This film also had a notable absence: Jerry Juhl, long time muppets writer and the man who wrote the previous and next two films. He was a supervisor down at Fraggle Rock (Clap clap) Down at Fraggle Rock, so it fell on his other Great Muppet Caper Co-Writers, Jay Tarses and Tom Patchett to pick up the pace. Problem was they went in the same direction as caper and while I would've loved that, Frank wanted something more grounded, especially after Caper didn't do great at the box office. So he went in and rewrote himself, and the resulting film was a more grounded take. So what was it all about?

Taking Manhattan

MTM follows our heroes. LIke Caper it recasts them this time as recent graduates of Danforth College, whose graduation show, Manhattan Melodies, was a massive hit. So with big starry dreams in their eyes they take it to broadway.. and instead of taking Manhattan more get taken to the curb BY Manhattan. After a few or so stoppings Kermit is at the end of his rope and snaps at everyone else, who decide the best thing to do is to scatter to the four winds while he writes it. I get their trying not to pressure him but like.. they don't have to leave New York. And it's REALLY dickish they all pressure PIggy into seemingly doing the same despite no reason to. She's Kermit's girlfriend here, not his stalker or some strange he falls in love with all over again. He doesn't HAVE to be cut off from everyone to get a needed break.

So they leave with a very sad, beautiful ballad i'll get to in a moment, and Kermit starts working with Jenny, a kind human played by Juliana Doland, who doesn't have a ton of credits to her name but does a pretty good job. She's thorughly upstaged by Pete, Jenny's dad and diner owner constantly fed up with everyone's nonsense whose hiring of Kermit and a bunch of rats recommended by Rizzo, in his first major role in a muppet production as Pete's waiter, with…

The Rats are a great addition though and the scnee with them cooking in the kitchen (People were uncomfortable with them as waiters) is a thing of beauty, creative, fun and clearly taking a lot of wizardry. It also turned out the simplest solution was the best a lot of the time: they found out just using actual butter for one of the rats to skate on worked best, and most amusingly , an attempt to make fake pancake batter ATE THROUGH THE BOWL and actual batter was fine just fine. If that isn't the most muppets thing I ever heard I don't know what is.

So Kermit tries to get the film made, gets hugs from Jenny and Piggy stalks them both from afar in a trenchcoat because apparently they needed to make her even creepier than she already was, while kermit ocasoinally gets a letter from anothe rmuppet elsehwere in the country. This pattern repeats for 40 minutes. I'm not kidding.

It's the film's main problem: Plot wise it just.. goes about nowhere for most of the film. The first 20 minutes have pretty brisk pacing: Our heroes perform their college thesis, try to get the show made nearly get conned by a BAD MAN BAD MAN BAD MAN, then decide to go their seperate ways so kermit can focus on the play without worrying about them. It's fairly dense, still has plenty of jokes (Again BAD MAN BAD MAN), and works.

But the middle is just.. nothing. Most comedy films have a somewhat loose plot, but said plots serve as the motor. Using some of my faviorite movies as an example first off we have Wayne's World. Wayne's World HAS a plot, our two heroes get picked up from Cable Access to regular TV and have to deal with the exec who picked up the shows ulterior motives. We also have Wayne's building relationship with Cassandra which dovetails into said Exec threatening it. A clear a and b plot with some other stuff mixed in. Is said plot what most people think about Wayne's World? No, they think of bohemian rhapsody, the bugs bunny gag, Wayne speaking Cantonese with Cassandra, the sponsorship scene, Alice Cooper, "it seemed superfluous at the time". Rob Lowe is great in that section, but it's at it's core just a way to get from one joke to the next and to give the plot a semblance of flow. There are plenty of scenes like our heroes playing hockey, going to see allice cooper and shopping for Wayne's Dream guitar while Garth does a sweet solo that have nothing to do with said plots, but are all memorable and charming. While there are comedies that are tightly plotted as heck, and that's fine, at the least you just need a plot to keep the momentum.

The purest example of this is True Stories, the David Byrne classic and his only directorial outing. It's mostly just vignettes of various things around the town of Virgil, Texas as they prepare for their celebration of specialness. But it still has connective tissue in the various characters, and the through line plots of David Byrne in a Cowboy Hat narrating to us and John Goodman's attempts to find a wife who loves his basic panda bear shape.

Here the plot doesn't really make things go and things just aren't zany or surreal enough, like true stories, to really make it work. It's too grounded for the plot to be this thin and even teh far less grounded caper and after it most wanted had far snappier plots to compensate for being batshit insane. It's just "Kermit tries zany scheme to get the play accepted" (and not nearly enough though him with an afro wig, gold tooth and pick velvet suit was a fucking riot, as was the whisper campagin0, "Piggy stalks him", "stuff happens" and then he just .. falls into getting the plan accepted by an up and coming producer. He works HARD sure but it dosen't feel like there was any real progress sin his attempts. One just works.

The plot just feels unengaging as a result: I DO want Kermit to succed and he is trying hard but there's no escalation to his work or real flow. And Piggy's jealousy is mostly resolved when they just.. talk and she realizes he wans't cheating on her which could've been resolved in five minutes. It feels like , in part thanks to Emma telling me this, Oz wanted to immitate the screwball comedis of hollywood, scaling things back to just our leading man and lady and a few characters. But that's just not what the muppets is. The muppets aren't scaled back they go all in. Even the more serious flims like Treasure Island, Christmas Carol and The Muppets still have plenty of chaos and character. This film just feels like Frank Oz trying to fit a muppet peg into a normal film hole. It's telling most of his films after this weren't all that fantastical and even his next, his masterwork and one of my faviorite films Little Shop of Horrrors, was still grounded in the humans and their actions and a morality tale. Frank OZ was great with playing muppets, Miss PIggy for all the faults I have with how she treats Kermit is still a fun character when used right and Yoda is yoda, but it's clear his heart wasn't in telling muppet stories by himself. And that's okay. It's better he played to his strengths than tried to be something he wasn't and let those who wanted to do it. It makes for a sloppily paced film, but it allowed him to learn the lesson early and get on to doing films he wanted.

That said there ARE a lot of great gags. While Frank is out of his element here, it dosen't mean he's not still part of the troupe. This isn't a TERRIBLE muppets film. Frank still gets enough for it to be enjoyable: Kermit with a gold tooth and afro, Piggy and Joan Rivers make up laughing fit, the penguins asking for a job.. this plot is still packed with good bits, it's just not as consitent tone wise is all

Even the eventual resolution to Miss PIggy stalking kermit because that's normal and not at all a red flag is a banger: While stalking Piggy gets caught on a poll and has her purse stolen. So we get the GOOD side of piggy as she borrows some skates from Gregory Hines, and CHASES THE FUCKER DOWN FOR A GOOD FEW MINUTES The guys other terror and surprise as she KEEPS FINDING HIM is fucking amazing. I love it. The best part though is after as Gregory tries to get his skates back while Piggy and Kermit fight "I'll just unlace these while you fight" getting overly involved in their argument before deciding they can just keep the skates "I just like to wear these shorts". Gregory Hines is this film's mvp. In fact that gives me an idea. You'll see

Kermit does eventually land a broadway gig

So with the muppets reassembling and bringing everyone they met along, they try and find him. This last third is the best part of the film as we get the whole gang back together while Kermit gets his legs stretched, wonders who he is and then wanders into getting an advertising gig. Seeing Kermit as a straight laced executive is hilarious. I don't know what voice Jim is doing here but i love it.

THe resolution is also great as our heroes end up finding him at the diner and having to straight up kidnaping him with Kermits new frog friends not really bothered ("If that's how they treat customers no wonder they don't get a lot of repeat buisness" ) though it takes Piggy saying they were in love to get him over it. oh no no the love part, Amnesia!Kermit laughs so hard and is such a delightful dick about it (Even going Sooeeeeee while the rest of the cast gape in horror) that Piggy understandably decides to murder him. Thankfulyl Kermit surivvies, is restored and we get two great numbers in a row as our heroes are married…. kinda. It's left vauge if the preist really is really real or not. The wedding is also wonderful with every other muppet showing up. And I mean EVERY ONE. Kermit's old Sesame street friends, every member of the troupe and even uncle traveling matt. It's a wonderful capper to a fairly.. eh film.

Yeah before we move onto the music as you can see Muppets Take Manhattan is.. okay. The plot is very stalled and way too grounded, but it has enough truly all timer muppet jokes and songs to make it watchable. It's a decent watch but not one i'd really come back to. Speaking of songs

Manhattan Melodies

The songs for Take Manhttan are the other pillar that makes up for the pacing. Every song is a classic and every musical number great. Admitely it's part of act 2's major problems, as the songs are mostly in act's 1 and 3, with only one number in act 2, but when we get a song their great. Sadly they havne't been released, likely due to rights issues, but the original album did get a grammy nomination so . t.her'es that. Hopefully we can get one eventually for now though let's break down these classics

We start with an all time classic, Together Again, the final number of manhattan melodies in it's orignial starkid-esque form. Together Again is truly amazing, a wonderful song about reconnectiong, reunion and hapiness.

You Can't Take No For an Answer is a fun electric mayhem number with a slightly melancholy beat underscoring our heroes failed attempts to make it on broadway. EM always tends to have some of the best songs , with Can You PIcture That probably being my faviorite from The Muppet Movie, so its no suprise they slap here.

Saying Goodbye fucking broke me. A truly sad number as our heroes all seperate, it really gets the feeling of parting with someone down pat and hurts even more knowing we'd loose Jim Henson and Richard Hunt all too soon after this. Hauntingly beautiful.

Rat Scat slaps, some fun as the rats cook int he kitchen which should be gross but it's charming. Wonder if Rattouie was at all inspired by this. Food for thought. Pun welcomed.

I"m Always Gonna Love You is a fun rocking ditty. I consider it the weakest of the film's tracks.. but it's no chilly down in terms of a quality drop. I just like it SLIGHTLY less than the others because it goes on a bit longer than necessary. That's all. This is also for some reason a sequence starring the Muppet Babies, who would be so popular they'd get their own show

We then get Right Where I Belong, which embarasingly I first remember hearing in a commercial even though i'd seen this movie before (and mostly forgot it apart from Mad Men!Kermit) , but is probably my faviorite, it's snappy, happy and really fits Kermit coming back and finally having everyone else. It's got that good old fashioned broadway style that really fits the films tone. I love it.

Finally we have Somebody's Getting Married/Waiting For The Wedding/ He'll Make Me Happy, a lovely ballad and show stoppin number as our heroes gather for the wedding of Kermit and Piggy. Which again she might of tricked him into which is..

But hey the music is nice. And with that we have two final pieces of

Film Ranking

As i've done since the last review, it's time to see where the film ranks compared to the other muppet films and specials i've covered so far and well.. this one's probably going to piss a LOT of people off

(ranking)

Keep in mind the gap is WIDEEEE between those last two. But despite expecting some backlash, I stand by this. The other films sans Trashfire of Oz are all paced MUCH better and while from Space is mostly just okay, it has more heart to it and better jokes. This one ALMOST inches it out for the songs, but in the end I just in good concious can't put it above the more solid film.

Muppet MVPS:

I've decided after Gregory Hines outstanding performance to start giving out awards, dead meat stylez please don't sue james I love you man, for the best human and muppet performance. This section will be longer than most as to head off Kevin asking me what the others would've been, because I know my friend and I know like me he's a very through dork, and to keep this feature introduced a ways in consitent, i'm going to give out the ones for previous films and episodes too. I also thought of the idea to award best cameo just as I was almost done soooo

Take Manhattan: Muppet MVP: Kermit gets our first as his various shenanigans and seeing him more as hustler than his normal put upon everyfrog is just fantastic. Hines-Grodin Award For Best Human: Gregory not only gets the first award but gets it partly named after him, as he's the one who inspired me to do this. He just perfectly fits in and his bit will live in my head rent free form now on.

From Space: Muppet MVP: Bobo. I mean i'ts hard not to give it to him every time as Bobo just slaps, but he works here as Jeffrey Tambour's foil and gets a great payoff sabotaging the guy's gun. Hines-Grodin Award: This is a hard one. Do I give it to David Arqutte, the most dangerous man alive or Ray Liotta? In the end Liotta gets it for his great brain dead performance post memory wipe. David is good as always but his roll really goes nowhere. Best Cameo: HINES. Joan Rivers comes close but come on.

Wizard of Oz: Muppet MVP: Kermit. Not throughout the main part of the film, but for the Quinten Tarintnio Sequence. He looks so afraid for his life it's awesome. Hines-Grodin Award: Again Quinten Tarintino. In a film that nearly killed my soul his sudden cameo brought life and muppet energy back into it. God bless you you very weird very terrifying man. Best Cameo: Once again, mr. tarintino.

Muppet Caper: Muppet MVP: Going to have to go with Beau for the cart stunt. Chefs kiss that was awesome. Hines Grodin Award: The man who named the award himself Charles Grodin. I feel he deserves this both for his untimely passing and for setting the standard for Human performers in the films. WHile he wasn't the FIRST , he certainly madea lasting impression. I mean what other actor would be so game as to sing an opera to Miss Piggy? Cameo Award: the guy who played columbo, both for his increasingly insane guess and Kermit's iconic response "Amazing what you said was 100% wrong. Nothing you've said has been right"

Muppets Tonight: Muppet MVP: Gonzo for the Dancing With Myself number. All time great in muppets history there. Hines Grodin Award: Obviously the reason I watched the ep and reviewed it, the late, great Gilbert Gottfried as Kermit's date/creepy fan, though Dennis Quaid was REALLY good. But Gilbert was born for this.

Muppet Show Star Wars: Muppet MVP: Angus Macgonagle, the Gargoyle Who Gargles Gershwin Gorgeously. Human MVP: Kinda obvious but Mark Hamill. He's terrific both as luke and as himself. I"d expect no less.

Labyrinth: Muppet MVP: This is a close race between Ludo and Sir Didymus but in the end his good sirship pulls out just ahead. He's just so fun and i'm amazed they got the puppet so tiny yet detailed and movement oriented. Nicely done. Human MVP: David. Fucking. Bowie. Need I say more? Need I REALLY say more or justify this one? Cameo Award: Uh jim I guess for appearing in the opening scene. Otherwise i'm saving these most for the muppet movies

Most Wanted: Muppet MVP: Constantine. Steve Whitmire doing a weird as hell kermit voice and the scene with the jaws kill me. Human MVP: This is a REALLY hard one. Ty Burrel, Ricky Gervais and Tina Fey ALL fucking bring it to grodin levels. So picking one is hard. But I have to go with Ty. His deliberatley over the top french accent, great chemistry with same and antics are just all so damn hilarous, though Ricky Gervais wearing a lemur suit and Tina Fey always knwoing hwere you are do come up close, I gotta give it to Ty. Cameo Award: A decent suply of candiates, including Stanley Tuci as the cheerful watchtower guy, but the winner is Usher as an Usher. IT's a stupidly obvious and stupidly brilliant gag.

Treasure Island: Muppet MVP: Dead Tom. He's dead! Human MVP: TIM CURRY. NEED. I. SAY. MORE. Cameo Award: Dawn French as the landlady "How does she do that? So with that the takes manhattan review is on the books. Thanks for reading and if you enjoy the film feel free to do so. This is one orangutan shaped man's opinon.

Next Time: We're dancing in the moonlight for spooky season as we review last year's Muppet's Haunted Mansion. OOOOOOOOO