#especially better than 2?? I can forgive 1 a bit more than 2

[downtondownstairs]

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[kaileedraws]

Introduction: Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Here are some of my changes to Marinette in my Miraculous AU! Below I'm going to go into a little bit further detail about what I'm changing about her character and why. I'll list the problems that I have with her character in the show and explain how I plan to fix it.

1. Marinette is the only character that must be there in order for a fight to be won

I've noticed in the story, other characters have little to no opportunity to save the day if Marinette is not present, and this seems a little unrealistic. She is the protagonist, but I feel like her biggest lesson is that she doesn't need to do everything herself - but unfortunately, the story's plot only reinforces the fact that she DOES need to do everything herself, or else things will backfire on her. I will be balancing the Miraculous powers to reflect the unique aspects of everyone's personality and show that Marinette can rely on others - especially Chat Noir - to win without her.

2. The show's narrative punishes characters when they trust others - making Marinette a hypocrite

An example of this is pushing the narrative that Ladybug and Chat Noir cannot know each other's identities or else the world will end (except in their alternate universe). Marinette also punishes Alya for trusting Nino with her identity - yet is not so reluctant to share her own identity with her own best friend.

More people know Ladybug's identity than Chat Noir's identity (and not even because he told him he was Chat Noir), yet Ladybug consistantly shows Chat Noir that she trusts others more than him. She has a hypocritical nature of warning him about secrets, yet does the very things he warns him against.

Fixing this, Marinette, as a character, lacks trust due to her past with Chloe - an ex-best-friend - and Kim - an ex-crush. She has a nature of becoming suspicious of strangers, and she is overly cautious and judgemental of those she meets (which would also explain her canon reactions to Lila and Kagami when she first meets them). Because of this, she stereotypes Adrien when she first meets him and thinks he is just trying to manipulate her like all of the other popular kids she has met. He is constantly trying to prove to her that she is a good person and she doesn't buy it for a while. For Alya, she is also suspicious with her at first, but because she is so brutally honest to everyone - she has an easier time with learning to trust her than anyone else she meets.

With the Ladynoir dynamic, Ladybug starts the series pushing Chat Noir away - desperately trying to keep their relationship professional. But as things blow up in her face the more she pushes him away and tries to do everything herself, she finds herself apologizing for her mistakes and trying to become closer to him so they can function better as a team (power of love always so strong~). As the story goes on, she finds that she can be more herself as Ladybug to Chat Noir than as Marinette because Marinette becomes a chronic liar to keep her identity.

In the future, when Alya comes clean to Marinette that she told Nino about her own miraculous, Marinette reacts the way she did in the show and feels betrayed, but later forgives Alya and trusts her to make her own decisions in her life (character development here).

3. Marinette doesn't have a clear character arc

the show is set up - as cooberated by many others - as a "lesson of the day"-type show, but Marinette doesn't have any character development other than becoming a little more confident and standing up to her bully (which also gets her into trouble more and happens early on in the show). I think that her character development should revolve around learning to trust others and learning that she can't do everything by herself, and learning how to cope with her anxiety.

4. Marinette's creepy obsession (Stalker) with Adrien

No one tells Marinette that she takes things a little too far with Adrien except for the school bully (Chloe). She doesn't even recongize herself until later that what she's doing is wrong. I feel like - especially aged up - that Marinette has a duality with this. She knows morally that it's not OK to stalk people or be as obsessive as she is, but she continues to make excuses that she is either protecting Adrien or herself from harm. She feels guilty about it, but her inherent curiosity and lack of trust gets the better of her sometimes.

5. Marinette is mostly bubbly and awake

Either this girl takes adderall every morning or eats coffee beans - she is always shown to be alert despite being a full-time student, overachiever, and superhero. It would be good to see her struggling with sleep more often and developing an energy drink/coffee addiction just to stay awake. Perhaps it gets so bad that she has to be hospitalized for severe sleep deprivation.

6. The plot prohibits Marinette from ever being akumatized fully

Because of her huge emotions, Marinette would definitely be akumatized at some point. She would fight it - perhaps Tikki would take her Miraculous and find a temporary holder - or not - but being a main character and a miraculous holder should not exclude her from becoming a victim of hawkmoth. This would also push the narrative that Marinette is not perfect and she is not inherently needed to save the day every time.

Conclusion

These are just a few of my changes for Marinette - once I nail down a design, I'll probably make a character sheet for her general personality. I like the idea that she is one of the weird, awkward art kids in school that is incredibly dark, tired, and weirdly bubbly around her friends, but depressed at home (my middle school experience tbh). I'm really excited to make Marinette a lot more relatable and a product of the things she experinces in the show - not just a protagonist with layers of plot armor and villian-like hypocracy!

[holygirlforjesus]

School Tips

A few school tips for christians from me to you <3

• Read your Bible before school

Personally, I always feel better after reading my Bible. It feels like I’m a little bit stronger than before, especially mentally. I’m a lot more motivated for school if I read the Bible beforehand.

• Pray

Pray if you have an exam coming up. Pray if you struggle in school. Pray if you’re being bullied. Pray if you have a mean teacher. Pray if anything about school stresses you. Also pray if you don’t have problems in school. Generally, just pray. God will listen.

• Be nice to everyone

Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Just be nice to everyone, even if they’re not nice to you, and even if you don’t like them. If you have a mean teacher, be nice to them. If you got mean classmates, forgive and be nice to them. Offer to help people. Put others above yourself, but remember that you are important too!

• Eat a healthy breakfast

Whether you’re a Christian or not, you should make sure to take care of yourself! And don’t forget to thank God before eating<3

• Surround yourself with good people

Especially if the year is just starting, make sure not to befriend anyone just for the sake of not being alone. Be nice to everyone, but surround yourself with people who are good for you. People who support you and are nice to you like you are to them. And if you can’t find the exactly right people, of course you can hang out with others, but make sure not to follow them, especially if that would make you commit sins. Always keep the lord your first priority.

Remember:

1. God will always help you when you need it!

2. You can do it, even in times where school is tough, do not give up!

3. Work hard, but do not put your grades over your own mental and physical health. Grades don’t go to heaven.

4. You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to enjoy school. So don’t look for one. God will send you the right person when it’s time.

5. Never think that you have to fit in, being different is a good thing!

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Proverbs 16:3

[smooth-perceval]

“My love, my life.”

“I’m just a guy who drinks tea.”

Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader

PART TWO

Max Corner

Summary: [Max and reader crossed the line in their 3 year friendship, resulting in 2 positive pregnancy test. And 1 baby on the way.]

Reader finally forgives Lando for being a bad friend, Max finally decided what he wants- if only the reader wants that.

Warnings: 18+ little bit of idk pre-smut or just some ‘steamy scenes’, angst, pregnancy, swearing, some heavy flirting, Google translate?, no proof read.

Key: Y/N (your name), Y/L/N (your last name)

Word count: 3,783

A/N: I honestly just wanna thank use for the love on each of my post, it means so much 🖤 I’m not the greatest writer in the world, hell I even make myself cringe at things I write… and how I write them but the love I’ve received is just so lovely 🥹 Thank you 🖤 again movie quotes I think- 🥲

**Two weeks 3 days later**

The two boys stuck to what I said, they kept no contact with me… It hurt, hurt like hell that they really didn’t keep in touch, I didn’t expect them to really leave me solo- but here we are.

Slowly the whole situation became more real, I have my first private scan in 4 days- and I did feel joyous. It’s not the greatest situation, but I’m having a baby.

Truthfully the thought always brings a smile to my face, wether I’ve got Max and Lando or not. I’ve always got this baby. And that’s more exciting than anything.

The shock and tears stopped the minute I shut the door on them two boys. I knew I had to be stronger than this for my baby. And I was adamant on not letting some stupid boys bring me down in the process, I was going to do this. And I was going to be perfect, all alone.

My parents are both thrilled for me, not the entire situation… but happy for the news, which gave me the motivation I needed. I had my two parents and this little baby, I had more than enough to do this, okay my parents live back in England… but it’ll be fine.

I’ll be honest… this is my mind 24/7, reassuring myself I can do this- with or without Max’s assistance. It was a painful torture… especially when the devil on my shoulder was whispering anything but hope in my ear, telling me everyday this is going to be the struggle of a lifetime without Max… This would last for hours before the perfect little angel would shut him up, and reassure my mind that I was a mother now, and all mothers are strong, and that everything was going to be okay.

I was sitting down eating my dinner, when my phone rang out, making me jump slightly. A contact I wasn’t expecting flashing on the screen, followed by a message I wasn’t sure I’d receive.

“Landiniho 🏎️”

Please read this.

I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact, I thought it’s best to leave you be- as I wasn’t the greatest friend. What your doing is incredible- and if anything after the way Max reacted, I should’ve realised then you needed a friend than some idiot screaming because he wasn’t told a secret- I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart, I don’t want our friendship to feel like nothing to you, because it means the whole world to me… Please forgive me.

P.S: don’t give my uncle rights to Carlos please.

P.P.S: I’m so proud of you.

Love Lan x

Could I help the smile that broke out on my face? No, it’s Lando. Was I still mad at him… again no. He was just reacting in a way any friend would if their pal didn’t tell a secret. It hurt how he reacted sure… but he still my friend.

Typing a message back I sighed clicking onto Max’s contact… still reading the last message he sent

“Maxiiii 🦁”

“Hope your feeling better Schat. Me and the idiot will be round after quali x ” (Darling)

My phone sounded again multiple times, I clicked on Lando’s notification, laughing to myself at the spam messages.

“Landiniho 🏎️”

Your how far?!

Already-

I haven’t been there…

I’m sorry, are you getting an early scan?

I’d love to come?!

I’m trying to make it up to you for being a shitty friend x

Messaging him back I confirmed the scan date, time and location. Was he forgiven easily, yes. So easily, but it gave me some sense of relief knowing he cares.

The scan was a day before he had to fly out to Canada, but he was adamant on being there, meaning he had to fly from Barcelona, back to Monaco then to Canada. Which only made me feel guilty at the insane amount of effort. I’m glad I got Lando back, truthfully the sun didn’t shine without him.

The days had passed, nothing major happening, Max still hadn’t reached out, and as the days went on I was pulling myself further away from him, not wanting any association with him.

I was getting ready for my scan and my phone signalled, Lando reminding me of the appointment, he had kept in touch a lot… he really was apologetic, and I’m so glad he reached out cause it sure did dull the devil on my shoulder. He wasn’t so loud anymore…

Lando messaged last night when he arrived back in Monaco telling me he had arrived and that he would see me in the morning. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief, Max or no Max I had someone. I missed Max. Missed him a ton… even if whatever we did was a ‘mistake’ just having him as a best friend, someone I could talk to- I missed just him. It’s a different vibe with Max,

With Max it was late nights curled on the sofa, gossiping about paddock life, a glass of wine in hand and soft touches that we both swore was innocent, we just had another level of connection- someone who understood myself on a different level.

Lando on the other hand? It was hectic- spur of the moment kind of things, he would call at random times of the day telling me we are going somewhere and expect me to be ready- it was always an adventure! It was always a laugh and joke between two friends.

Two different vibes, with two different outcomes- my brain doesn’t function without Lando’s random calls, however my heart aches without Max’s teasing smiles and lingering touch… I was really in deep.

I was waiting around in the parking lot, legs jittering around nervously trying to spot Lando’s car anywhere, waiting only for a few more minutes before heading inside and checking myself in. I hadn’t heard from him for a few hours and he hadn’t respond to any messages… which only led me thinking he had to go somewhere else- which is fine, his a busy guy…

There was still no sign of him- and I was now getting called into the office, sighing with defeat I got up shuffling in. That little flicker of hope burning out- all I needed was a friend today…

Me and the nurse was going through a few documents, and details to cover about the pregnancy, before she asked me to go behind the curtain and remove my bottoms and underwear, placing a sheet over myself, then requesting for me lay down on the bed while she got her equipment ready. The door rattled slightly from a soft knock, causing us both to look up.

“Sorry- two minutes.” The nurse smiled apologetically before getting up and opening the door slightly and stepping outside.

Within a few seconds the door was opened again by the nurse and following behind was him.

Max- he had a cap on and was holding onto some sunglasses I guess he is calling that his “disguise” some dark blue jeans and a casual white t-shirt.

Mouth hung open I stared at him, sitting up on the bed. Ensuring the sheet was still covering myself. “What are you doing here?”

“Lando said you had an scan…”

“I haven’t heard from you in weeks.” I angrily whispered, I felt a rage in me all of a sudden to bite this man’s head of. Yet grab him and hold him tight and thank him for being here.

With his head hung low he stepped closer, giving the nurse a small smile. “Maybe we discuss all of that stuff after this?…” glancing back and fourth between me and the nurse.

And once again in defeat I sunk back onto the bed turning my head away from him. The little flicker of light burned in my chest, and I couldn’t help the small smile… it’s a good thing I had my head turned so he couldn’t see what he was doing to me.

Giving me hope again.

“Where’s Lando?” Mumbling I watched as the nurse started preparing everything.

“I- I asked him if he could wait out there.”

Nodding my head in acknowledgement the nurse then looked up smiling.

“Are you ready? It may feel a little cold- but it shouldn’t cause any discomfort, if it does just let me know straight away.”

Nodding my head again I smiled a little glancing over at the screen, trying to find any form of distraction.

Taking a sharp in- breath at the coldness of the gel, the nurse laughed a little apologising once again. She was right there was no discomfort, the room was silent as we was all watching the screen waiting for any sign of the baby.

“Anddd… there is your baby.” Pointing up at the screen, the picture showing what looked to be a small bean.

Resting my head back onto the pillow in a happy daze, I caught a glance over at Max, who was leaning over slightly watching the screen. As if it was out of instinct his hand clasped onto mine in a tight grip, like he needed reassurance for himself. Some form of clarity.

Squeezing his hand back, he broke his gaze looking straight at me, eyes shining with threatening tears, and as quick as he looked at me, he looked back at the screen.

“I’ll just go get the scan printed for you both-” The nurse disposed of the equipment before excusing herself, I untangled my hand from Max’s and held the sheet heading back behind the curtain getting dressed, nervously I shuffled back out from behind the curtain Max now sitting down hands covering his mouth, as if he is understanding the situation properly now.

“We really are having a baby…” his voice was barely audible above a whisper. Humming with a small smile more for myself. I finally got to see my baby- it seems so real now…

Tilting his head up He reached over taking my hand pulling me closer, nearly tumbling over my own feet.

“I’m so sorry.” He mumbled wrapping his arms around my waist head flushed against my stomach.

“It’s okay-”I whisper back, rubbing the top off his back before pulling away. My hands moved to his face wiping his spilled tears.

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions I was just terrified-” sighing he looked down at the floor, breathing in and out slowly.

“You wasn’t the only one- I was scared to even tell you.. I didn’t exactly tell you in the greatest way…”

“Well it wasn’t my best reaction, it’s been eating me alive for these past few weeks how bad I acted…”

Shrugging I look away, taking a seat in the doctors chair next to him “Water under the bridge… just glad you and Lando are both back. Even for a day.” Nudging his shoulder he smiled a little, taking my hand once again.

“You got me for a lifetime now.” Laughing a little I hummed rolling my eyes. “Lucky me.”

Both thanking the nurse, and leaving her office Max’s hand was gently placed at the bottom of my back, like a guidance, and in his other hand he was holding the scan photo’s looking at them with a smile on his face.

The wind was nearly took out of me, when Lando practically jumped onto me hugging me tight.

“I’ve missed you.” Letting out a huff, with a little laughter I hugged him back tight. “I missed you too.” He quickly pulled away taking the scan photos from Max walking ahead of us both to the exit.

“Why does it look like rice?” Both shaking our heads we followed behind.

“Because it’s early stages Lan.” Laughing I had a little run catching up with him. “About a month and the baby will start developing little arms and legs!” Linking my arms with his, Max trailing next to us both. I reached my other arm around Max’s linking him as well, pulling both of them closer.

Max followed me back to my place, Lando was complaining that he had to go get some more sleep before his flight in the morning. Leaving us both in the car park and the screeching sound of his tires as he pulled away.

“Did you want tea or anything…?” I poked my head out the kitchen looking over at Max.

“I don’t like tea…”

“What kind of person doesn’t like tea?” I smiled teasingly at him. Shaking my head I trailed back into the kitchen. He laughed lightly following me into the kitchen standing in the doorway.

“A person called Max” he hummed crossing his arms, I spare him a glance, a small smile playing on my lips. In silence I made a tea and offered Max a bottled water, placing his across the kitchen island, me sitting down on the opposite side.

“I’m sorry again, for everything I said.”

“I said don’t worry-”

“No- it wasn’t fair on me to shift blame… if anything it was my fault we was in that situation.” Moving his drink aside, he leaned down on the counter hands clasped together.

Smiling a little, cheeks slightly red at the faint memory. “If I remember it was both of ours…”

“No.” Moving around the counter, I turned on the stool, him now standing in front of me, lost in his own thoughts.

“I knew what I wanted as soon as I crossed that finish line.” Max stared down at me, his mind looked like it was turning, like he was trying to understand himself.

“The night ended with just a slice of what I was thinking about when I got out that car and see you standing there, smiling at me. With that smile of yours… that pretty smile...” he was mumbling words, it was as if he was in a trance, his hand moving up to my face letting his thumb swipe my bottom lip slightly before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I was frozen in place- scared to act on my thoughts… I didn’t want the same feeling I’ve had these past three weeks of no Max, I’d rather hold back.

“So this was all planned…?”

“Not exactly planned… I was planning on telling you the truth…” mumbling he looked down at my hands that were fiddling around on my lap. “It was just me telling you without words-” once again my face burned red at the thought of what we got up to 3 weeks ago.

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same?” Looking back up at me he quirked a brow- like he was taunting me for words.

“Max-”

“Ah-” Cutting me off, he stepped between my legs caging me against the island arms either side as he held onto the counter, his head had ducked slightly, trying to level with me.

“Do you, or do you not?” Shaking my head quickly, not trusting my voice, I already knew my body had given every motion for him to continue, from the way I was biting my lip, to even leaning in so our chest are nearly touching.

Humming to himself in disapproval, his hand grazed over my hip, dancing up my stomach and resting on the centre of my chest, “Your heart says different…” his eyes followed his hands as they slowly roamed my body. My body was reacting to every little touch. Telling him to continue even if I said anything different.

His fingers brushed above my heart again as he tapped his finger to the racing heart beat. “You don’t feel the same?” He didn’t even need an answer from me to know how I was feeling- I’m sure even my eyes speak for themselves.

“Max…” whispering I looked down at his hand removing the one from my chest. “I invited you for tea…” subconsciously my tongue darted out licking my bottom lip as I looked back up at him.

Raising his eyebrows a small smile playing on his lips, I tugged at his other hand removing it from my hip,clearing my throat.

“And you, don’t can’t do relationships.”

As quickly as I removed him he was back on me- like a lion stalking it prey. His lips trying to kiss every inch of my face, and as much as I was trying to hold back- I failed… my hands gripped onto his bicep and shoulder, head slowly falling back as his lips trailed down my neck whispering sweet nothings.

“You’ve stated what you think I can’t do and not what you want.”

“I don’t want something that you can’t do.” He placed a soft kiss behind my ear, making me only bite my bottom lip- trying not to give myself away any more than I have…

“Maybe I can.”

“I don’t want if, buts and maybes. I want absolutes.” Gulping, closing my eyes. I let out a shaky breath, my hands slowly moving to his chest, before I pushed him back gently.

We was both now staring at each other, breathing heavily, like it was our last.

Covering my face with my hands I stood up, my fingers combed through my hair as I left the kitchen wandering to the living room, my hands finally resting in my hips I turned to Max, who as always was following behind me.

It was awkward… the energy was still basking on lust- and me and Max just didn’t know how to use our words.

“I should go…” clearing his throat, scratching the back of his head he looked down and the floor.

“Maybe it’s for the best…” I whispered it, only because it was a lie. The silence overcoming us again.

“Right-” he moved his hands to be clasped together in front of his trousers- hiding anything to show for the little break in the kitchen. Shuffling his feet slowly he moved down the hallway to the door, quickly pulling his shoes back on.

“Oh… did you want to take one of the scan photos… you don’t have to?” Tilting my head slightly, I could barely hear myself let alone his response over my pounding heart.

I only knew what he said by the nod of his head that followed, I quickly ran to my bag in the lounge grabbing one of the scans and bringing it back to him holding it out.

Smiling a little he pinched the other corner of the photo- both scared once again to go near each other. Max was looking back down at the scan photo as he took it from me, the smile on his face only wider.

“That’s our bab-”

I couldn’t tell you what came over me- I just needed to kiss him- even if it was a last- his lips had kissed everywhere on my face today- but my lips, and they craved the sensation so terribly.

I practically jumped onto him arms around his neck- and it’s now I thank heavens for his quick reaction, I probably would’ve slid back down him if he hadn’t reacted. The scan photo getting caught between our colliding chest, both his arms were fasted tightly around my waist holding myself in the air-

Our lips felt as if they’re moulding together, both hungry, desperate, lustful.

I felt his hands slide from my waist down to the backs of my thighs tugging them up around him, before he moved back along the hall to the lounge. Both giving feather kisses, my hands tugging the end of his hair softly. He couched slightly placing me on the arm of the sofa before pulling himself back slowly.

The picture now fell from between us and we both looked down at it before he picked it back up placing it on the coffee table.

No words needed to be said, his hands were supporting me as he placed soft kisses back on my lips, and with every kiss we slowly fell back onto the sofa, Max climbing further up, one knee between my legs the other practically hanging off the sofa holding him up slightly.

And in silent agreement we both started undressing each other, as if it was the first time again. Both awed by the sight of one another.

As always, Max looked heavenly, his hair was disheveled from my fingers running through, his eyes were a bright blue filled with lust and adoration, the apples of his cheeks were flushed red… his toned body was warm to the touch. He always is perfect.

Moving closer his soft, wet kisses were making their way down my exposed chest, feeling him smiling against my skin after every kiss he placed. Mumbling things like-

“So perfect…”

“My pretty girl.”

“My schat” (darling)

I felt as if I was floating, if this is what heaven feels like I want it everyday.

I said once before- heaven wouldn’t accept two sinners. And there’s no way I could stop from sinning now- if it meant locking me up in the depths of hell I would happily dance myself down to the gates only if I can have Max devouring every inch of my body like he was.

He worshipped my body, and took me on highs I don’t even remember either of us reaching the last time we ended up in such positions.

When all was said and done, our bodies heaved with exhaustion, Max still pulled back on his underwear and hauled himself upstairs to the bathroom getting wet towels to clean us both up with. He even helped me get my underwear and his T-shirt on… he took such gentle care with me, it was difficult not to love him.

It took some time before our breathing levelled out, Max turned his head bringing his lips to kiss my forehead. A small smile tugged at my face, my head now leaning against his shoulder.

“Please stay the night…” he moved his hand around cupping my cheek, placing more kisses to the top of my head.

“Don’t have to ask twice.” My smile widened and I responded with a hum.

“I’m going to make a cup of tea, did you want a cold drink?…” slowly I pushed myself of the sofa stretching turning to look at him.

His hands slowly moving up each sides of my legs, as he looked up at me.

“I’ve got more water?”

“Actually I’ll have tea.” I raised my eyebrows at him, brushing some hair back.

“Are you trying to impress me?”

“Of course not, I’m just a guy who drinks tea.” Laughing a little I push his head back gently leaving him in the lounge.

We have so got this Verstappen.

A/N: idk what it is but I just had terrible writers block- and as you can tell it was sort of forced finished, so hopefully Part 3 I will have a bit more inspo flowing 🥲 But hope you enjoyed anyways 🖤 Part 3 hopefully end of the week the latest I’ll update if not 🖤

Masterlist

[genderkoolaid]

Rating Yonic Words (Very Logical and Unbiased and Scientific and Impartial)

Vagina et al. - 2/10. Hard* "g" sound is awful. Its a chewy word. Would be better with a soft "g" like in the french vagin, but even thats like, 5/10. Also way overused to describe the whole set when its only the main hole, but its also the proper clinical word for said hole. "Vag" is slightly better but carries the sin of the father (hard "g"), and va-jay-jay is a solid 0. You just doubled the worst sound here. Its the yonic Cain.

*not actually hard, my brain is just too french, but i don't think this sound deserves to be called soft. it's a chewy g. forgive me for my lies

Vulva - 10/10. Love him. "V" sounds flow so nicely. You could sing this in an opera. Also actually refers to the whole kit n caboodle. May be a little clinical for some but we can change that. We can make it horny. You can help me make it horny. Betty Dodson would want you to help me make it horny.

Pussy - 7/10. Gets some points for being a classic, and its decent sounding. But the "s" sounds aren't the best, especially alongside the "p" sound. Its just a little too harsh and kind of juvenile. Good for a laff.

Punani et al. - 2 to 7/10. Gets cool points for being a descendant of the Akan language through Jamaican creole. Gets a range of points because I'm grouping poontang (bad word to say and hear) in with punani (a clear 7)

Labia - 10/10. Vulva's lovely twin. Another word you could sing. The "b" sound isn't offputting- it flows nicely between the elegant "L" and "ia." Again, a bit clinical, but so good to say. Labia (the word and the body part) deserve more love.

Fanny - 0/10. Pussy's worse sounding cousin. Replacing the "s" sounds with "n" removes the flow of pussy, which makes this the yonic-linguistic equivalent of going down a dry waterslide.

Cunt - 10/10. Its like a punch in a good way. Not too harsh, but makes its point clearly; a well-rounded sound. Can be comedic and horny but its not too unserious. Good mouthfeel. I'm a big cunt fan. Can also be an insult, but such is the way of sex organs. Such a versatile word.

Coochie - 4/10. Sorry to the coochie lovers out there but my god? The "ch" sound? Awful to hear. Get that out of my genitalia. Gets points for comedic use, which I respect.

Twat - 2/10. Sounds like the sound made when Batman decks some guy in the face. The "t" sounds here are just unpleasant, and when combined with "æ" it gets worse. Sorry Brits & co. </3

Clitoris / Clit - 9/10. Important organ we all know and love. Both long & short versions sound good, although I think it could be smoother. Way better clinical term than vagina, but I wish we had wider options for him.

Snatch - 3/10. I'm not a fan of the sounds at play here (once again, get "ch" out of here), but I find this word really funny. I cannot imagine this being used hornily. It sounds like the name of a delightful cryptid.

Quim - 4/10. What are you, from the 1700s? I think it sounds alright, the "q" isn't abrasive, but unless you are writing historical fiction it just doesn't sound right.

Any and All Metaphorical Words - 1/10. Never work outside of extremely horny contexts or jokes. Gets one point for extremely horny contexts and jokes.

[leikeliscomet]

Heartstopper's Aspec Representation Isn't For Me - And That's Okay (Mini Essay)

Spoilers for Series 3!

So I just finished series 3 and I feel conflicted. I don't hate Heartstopper at all. I think it's a very cute show. I'm happy queer baby gen z and gen alpha have something to see themselves in, I love how Tara, a darkskin Black lesbian girl is happy in her relationship. I'm happy Isaac makes my fellow aspecs happy. I'm happy Charlie tore Ben's singlet in series 2 and for once the victim/survivor is allowed to not forgive their assaulter. I like Heartstopper's little moments but I've felt like something was missing overall and now we're on the third season, I think I know what it is now. There's comments on BL and yaoi by Alice Oseman I don't fully agree with, some of the acting in the show could be a bit better I guess, most of the characters are comfortably in the British middle class and I am a grown adult now so my interest in school/teen dramas has dipped a little bit (but not you Waterloo Road ily <3). So to an extent, there were always gonna be limits on how much I enjoy this show, but nevertheless, I still think they're worth pointing out, especially if we're claiming Heartstopper for the next gen of queer rep. Because honestly having watched shows like Heartbreak High and Koisenu Futari plus being a massive Selah and the Spades fan, I feel a bit robbed in terms of quality.

Isaac still feels underdeveloped and for a show that's been going on for 3 series now this feels disappointing. Like obviously Nick and Charlie get all the screentime as they're the main characters. Tao and Elle got a lot more juicer storylines from s2, Tara and Darcy got more to work with this series even if it was rushed (oh I miss you long series 2010s shows), but Isaac still feels leaps behind everyone else. He didn't really get anything in series 1. In series 2 we saw him coming to terms with his identity which felt like a good starting point but I was still waiting for the 'big asexual plans' Alice Oseman promised and... nothing. I liked his comment about googling aromanticism to Charlie because the representation by PowerPoint style of aspec writing can get tired. I also liked his moment of feeling left out by his friends plus still wanting to know Nick and Charlie's tea, giving him sexual agency whilst aroace instead of feeding into infantilisation. But apart from that... nothing. I wanted to feel more moved by the aquarium scene, but it felt tacked on because whilst Isaac's upset was justified, Imogen just wanted to chat about gay fish, so Isaac came across as a little passive-aggressive instead of what was supposed to be his moment. Plus it feels a little backhanded how much effort series 1 went to in how big coming to terms with your identity is, plus the gorgeous way Isaac's aroace revelation was filmed in series 2 was filmed just to have him blurt it out in an aquarium and have barely any of his friends actually support him like he supported them. But life imitates art I guess. This whole season we've seen characters talking about university plans, gap years and going through the post-16 struggle. But what about Isaac? We never find out what uni he wants to go to or even if he wants to go. What subjects does he like? What job does he want post-school? What's his relationship like with his family? The people need to know! I always found it weird how Isaac was left out to the point where straight characters, whilst still bearing in mind that Tao x Elle is an interracial pairing between two POC and one of which is a trans girl and this is very rare and deserved representation too, had gotten more screentime than him. Imogen, Sahar, Mr Ajayi and Mr Farouk had all been introduced for bigger storylines but Isaac, despite being in the main group, still had to wait for his share. This series was such a huge moment for everyone but Isaac... again. And whilst I'm happy if everyone else is, I genuinely feel like we all deserve better.

Tori was given bigger moments this series and that was great because I was waiting for my introverted slurping sister to come through. Her concern and care for Charlie and jealousy of Nick were great plus with the introduction of Michael, it was all leading to the big reveal of Tori being ace, right? Right? Wrong, because this scene was cut from the ferris wheel moment and I have no idea why. Oseman confirmed it was because Tori's storyline will continue in s4 and she didn't want to rush it but like, what? Series 3, at least in my eyes, did an alright job at building up her coming out. And again, if Nick could get his bi awakening in a one series arc, why can't this asexual character then too? They also covered Darcy's non-binary transition and coming out in this series too so I don't know why there wasn't room for Tori apparently. There was plenty of room for an 'I'm asexual' within those 5 minutes. Waiting to develop her in series 4, which is yet to be confirmed and likely to be the show's last series so it will already have a lot to do with wrapping up the Nick x Charlie saga seems like a poor decision. This is the second time we've had to wait till next season for the aspec character's arc by the way.

I'd like to see some aroallo POVs on this but this season put a lot of emphasis on linking love and sex together and it felt a bit strange icl. Yes, they're linked socially/societally and it's great to have sex with someone you love and love someone you have sex with etc etc etc but the first 2 series made a point of separating the two by showing love without sex and how it was just as meaningful. Almost every time a character was sexually attracted to another e.g. calling them hot or started making out because they wanted to have sex in that given moment there would be a dialogue from one of them going 'it's okay we're in love 'it's normal you're in love' 'well that's what people in love do!' and these are all correct statements but like... we get it! You don't have to be head over heels in love to find someone sexually attractive or just want to have sex with them. It's okay if you're not in love too y'know? I'm not sure what that constant reassurance was for because depicting sex without love isn't as pearl clutchy as it seems when all parties are safe, consenting and comfortable, or, if you've ever had any knowledge about aro(allo) spaces tbf. Nick and Charlie are not aspec and are very much sexually attracted to each other so the conclusion of them having sex isn't surprising at all, especially when I already knew from tweets back in series 1 that Heartstopper the comic already had a storyline later on of the two having sex for the first time. Plus the other characters aren't aspec either so their sexual debuts are also unsurprising and deserved. Plus, I'm actually glad they included Tara and Darcy having sex because many 'sex positive' shows seem to leave out the lesbians. But for a show with an aroace creator and aspec characters, the depictions of romance and sex don't feel like they were written from an aspec lense or for an aspec audience. It's normal for people to be romantically and sexually attracted to each other and then date and have sex. But if you're aspec, you know this. We all know this. This is the mainstream and default depiction of human (hetero)sexuality. We're watching the queer shows to see something different from that. When romance without sex can only hinge on the characters being below the age of consent plus a supposed 'innocence' due to their young age and sex without love is non existent, plus when you factor in how there are no aroallo or alloace characters in the show with 'groundbreaking' aspec representation, it makes for a bit of a headscratcher. Heartstopper may be made by an aspec, has aspec characters and aspec fans, I don't consider it an aspec show. Bit sad, but it is what it is.

It's honestly strange how despite this fact, asexuality and aromanticism is barely mentioned in the main discourse about this show. Antis claim Oseman is a cishet woman despite being non-binary and aroace. They blame the sexlessness of the show on puritanism despite Oseman being aroace. There's constant arguments about how 'unrealistic' it is for teenagers to not have sex despite Isaac being a whole teenage aroace and how some people just didn't have sex in their teens... like aspecs. People are annoyed the show keeps giving Isaac aromantic and asexual storylines because it's 'not as important' and they 'don't care' as if he's not a main cast member and again, the creator is aroace! If you look at the promo pictures of the show, it has the main three pairings, Nick and Charlie, Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy and no Isaac. Despite the fact it's supposed to be 'for' us and made by one of us, it's not. And a lot of non aspec queer fans watching the show don't see it for us despite being made by one of us either. And that's a real shame.

I'm fully aware Oseman knows about writing aroace characters from the book Loveless, which has an aroace MC. But I think Netflix choosing to adapt Heartstopper over Loveless was intentional. I think Netflix creating Isaac instead of Aled, a demi gay non-binary character from the og comic, was intentional. I think all the decisions Netlix made with Isaac and Tori are intentional, the same way bringing Yasmin Benoit to the Sex Education writers room to cut half of O's storylines was intentional. Netflix has fumbled the bag with asexual and aromantic representation several times now (Cash Piggot and Todd notwithstanding) so at this point, I'm not surprised anymore. Again, I'm happy for anyone who really likes Heartstopper, but I've finally accepted that it's not for me. And that's okay. When someone makes the predominantly aspec, slightly more grown, queer show with fully fleshed out arcs for its's asexual and/or aromantic characters or hits up Lovie Simone for the scrapped Selah and the Spades TV show, I know where I'll be.

We deserved our moments too. We deserve our Heartstopper.

[lurkingshan]

Things That Have My Attention in 4 Minutes Episode 3

This was kind of a weird ep that gave me a bit of tonal whiplash, especially around Tyme and Great's little date.

Let's talk timelines. We know there are two main ones: 1) Original where Great is presumably having a cardiac event and where he made all the original choices the power is now letting him change, and 2) Redo where things are different based on his second chance decisions. It appears that everything we are seeing happen is part of the redo timeline, which we know because all the events are connected and influencing each other.

I'm also feeling good about my theory that at 11:04 he will get sent back to the original timeline and our redo comes to an end. We advanced to 11:02 this episode.

This episode's 4 minute jump back indicated that the real trigger is Great not advancing with Tyme rather than tied to him making shitty and harmful decisions, since he got sent back just for turning down a date invitation. Ngl that's kinda disappointing to me, I was more into this being about his character development.

If the purpose of the power is to steer Great to Tyme, and we know that he originally did a hit and run and didn't go to the hospital, that implies he met Tyme differently, and possibly later, in the original timeline. The power seems focused on changing the course of his relationship with Tyme, and the images he's been seeing of himself and Tyme together and Tyme's different messages on the Thai Tea cup may have been his consciousness briefly slipping between one timeline and another. After this ep, where we saw that Tyme was asking forgiveness, I wonder if he didn't fess up about investigating Great's family in the original timeline and the power ensured he would in the redo. Now that he's unmasked himself, is he going to tell Great that he's after his family and why?

The cold opens--Tyme injured, Tonkla murdering someone in the same manner his brother was killed, and now a second body turning up--may be things already happening in the original timeline (which is the future from our current vantage point) or they could be new future things happening as a result of these changes.

I don't think Dome is Tonkla's brother. He is alive and at the hospital in the redo timeline where Tonkla is grieving, which we know because Tyme specifically says that he is checking on him on Great's behalf. That would not make sense if Dome was actually residing in the original timeline, where Great never saved him or met Tyme at the hospital this early.

I need to know more about Nan, her connection to Tyme, and why they are being so reckless in their pursuit of this gambling operation. The way she infiltrated that compound alone with an armed man in an isolated place was wild.

We saw Great give Tyme the white doll at the end of their date, but then when he was brooding later at his apartment, both dolls were sitting on his couch. Continuity error, another consciousness slip moment, or a clue of something else going on?

Tonkla sure started fucking that cop quickly, and in the home Korn pays for. I'm worried about that kid. And the graphic nature of that scene had me clutching my pearls lmao (shoutout to the PrEP mention but boy what is your preoccupation with being fucked raw??). At least the cop seems like a better sex partner than Korn. Get your kicks in while you can, sugar baby.

Besties I really have no idea what's going on but I'm trying my best!

[tanuki-kimono]

Hello! I keep reading fiction with kimono hemmed to fit, and I keep thinking that can't be right. I can see it if their genes mean widening shoulders, but aren't kimono folded and tucked under the obi? Thank you for looking over this detail. (I'll stay anonymous because it's an honest mistake, and I don't want specific writers to feel cornered about it)

Hi! Np for this anon ask, I'll just stress here I most often reply via Tumblr messenger so don't hesitate to ask for private answer if you need it :)

On to your question: you are right, hemming (in the Western sense of the word) a kimono is not usually done in traditional Japanese tailoring.

One of the main reasons is that fabric bolts (tanmono) are a somehow standard unit, with patterning done with kimono tailoring in mind (so motifs match between panels etc).

Hemming a kimono means important parts of your kimono design will disappear! It is especially true for woman's kimono who often often display patterns on their lower skirt + sleeves.

When you wear a kimono with woman styling, the kimono is supposed to be more or less your total height to fit you size. The extra material is then tucked at the waist to form what is called the ohashori fold hold up by ties (himo). That fold gives you leeway as to which kimono you can wear as it is much more forgiving than Western clothes sizing. Being tall simply mean your ohashori will be small or non existent.

Men styling is a bit different as men don't do ohashori, which mean the kimono is tailored to their exact size (= give or take your height minus 30cm).

Kimono were usually passed to new wearers as time went, which means they are supposed to be worn by several body types. So, what about when a kimono is truly too big/small for the wearer?

Fabric was once (and still is) an expensive material so cutting it was a big no! Cutting also meant loosing the original tanmono panneling which was a terrible thing to do for any future alterations.

We so have two scenarios:

1) the wearer is a child: tucks are made at the shoulders (kata age) to reduce width, waist (koshi age) to reduce lenght, and sleeves (sode age). You can see in this past note a great example showing how a kid grew into a kimono:

2) The wearer is an adult: the kimono would have been totally unsewn, and then sewn back together, hiding the extra material into seams/letting the fabric needed for bigger wearer.

Taking a kimono apart is not especially unheard of, and it is actually the traditional way to clean it (tokiarai = unstitching a kimono and washing​ / araihari = stretching pieces of a kimono on boards to dry after they have been washed and starched​). You can see it done here:

Becky from Silk and bones has many kimono specimen photographed if you want to actually see how they are made - and just how much fabric can be hidden away into seams + how disastrous and infuriating it is to have a kimono with butchered cut fabric :(

TL:DR : People don't "hem" their kimono to wear them, women for ex. tuck the extra fabric away and go in their merry way. If sewing is needed, "hemming" is not exactly what would be done in kimono tailoring. A better way to describe it would probably be "adjusted" or "altered" to size :)

[jupitersdescendant]

hey everybody and welcome back! todays reading is a bit shorter than usual but i hope no less satisfying and helpful.

today’s topic: what are your dreams trying to tell you?

here’s how it works: close your eyes and meditate on the question for a little. if you feel ready, open your eyes and choose the pile you feel the most drawn to. it’s possible, that you’ll be attracted to more than one pile. please remember that this is a general reading so only take what resonates. this is for entertainment purposes only. lastly, tarot is only a guide, nothing is set in stone and at the end of the day you have the power over your own life.

side note: can’t believe i forgot to write down the cards but i did.. please forgive me lol

Pile 1

hi pile 1!

i’m seeing fire as a reoccurring theme in your dreams as well as the colours red and orange. fire is a powerful element and an especially destructive one at that. in your dreams you are most of the time afraid of it. though the fire in your dreams isn’t there to scare you away but to beckon. to show you how to embrace that side of yourself since i’m pretty sure that you carry a fiery energy in yourself and often feel things very deeply, maybe even overwhelmingly so but aren’t really comfortable with that energy. your dreams encourage you to accept this side of you and to go out there and be fearless. be generous, helfpul and supportive to those you care about and to yourself of course. don’t forget to be mindful of who you give your energy to. it looks like you carry some type of burden around and throw yourself into work to take your mind off of things but also to make yourself feel better and somehow more worthy at the same time.. though fear of failure could plague you as well, don’t we all love that. please don’t overwork yourself and try to be more proud of how far you’ve already come. work isn’t everything and it’s definitely not the self care you should be practicing instead. you’re doubting yourself a lot as it seems and often feel unworthy or not good enough but you’re totally missing all the great parts that you also carry within you. i’m seeing that you’re very passionate and strong and that you care a lot about the things you love. try to surround yourself with people that make you feel free and that encourage you to just be your own beautiful and proud self.

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 2

welcome pile 2!

for starters, your dreams often make you feel uncomfortable and restless. you may have a lot of bad dreams or even reoccurring nightmares. with the lovers being the first card that dropped out and upright at that, it set the whole vibe of the reading. it does seem like there’s some kind of love interest in your life that you often see in your dreams as well. you experience a lot of self doubt in this situation and feel powerless. you want this relationship to move forward but you hesitate. it looks like you are very very scared of what might go wrong when you move forward with this person. i can basically see all the worst case scenarios in your head over piling in your head and this also shows very clearly in your dreams, hence the nightmares. dear, standing still is never the option and definitely not the solution. i think you want to enter a committed relationship with this person. you need to act. i think the seeds for what you desire are already planted and growing but they need your care if you really want them to flourish and grow into something beautiful. the only thing holding you back is you. i think this delay takes real damage to your energy, especially your feminine one and this makes you even more insecure. self-doubt really has you in a tight grip. i understand that you’re scared (been there done that) but when you want what or better who you want you can’t just ignore that, with time you’ll only get more and more sad and frustrated with yourself. you gotta make a move towards your person of interest, even if you have do it blindly and scared. the only way is through. and sure, maybe you’ll find out that they don’t feel the same way and it won’t be easy to accept that but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t great and loveable. it means that they aren’t right for you and why would you want what isn’t meant for you anyway? but maybe, if you put yourself out there, you’ll be blessed with something really beautiful that will probably make you way happier than the way things are right now. either way, you can do this and don’t forget that you’re loved and never alone. <3

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 3

hi there pile 3!

so you’re dreams are basically trying to tell you to make a decision. it seems like you can choose between multiple things that will all have different outcomes of course. this scares you. the context of the decision will differ for everyone but you’ll know what i’m talking about. its time for you to pack your thing (literally for some of you) and go on a new journey but you’re blocking yourself with indecision. you focus too much on the negative and everything that could possibly go wrong with your choice. because of that you fail to see all the things that could go right and with that the abundance that’s waiting on the other side. don’t forget that you’re ready to start something new or else you wouldn’t have the opportunity. animals way be really present in your dreams and maybe also in your waking life, specifically birds, reptiles and insects. your intuition may be blocked because of self doubt but try to go within and listen to what your heart tells you. it’s funny because you’re dreams are literally telling you to wake up and to charge into the unknown. i have to think about a book i recently read about self confidence and it’s importance when it comes to decision making: a part of that confidence really depends on you trusting the world to meet you where you want to go, even if that means stepping into unknown territory. i know making decisions can be very scary especially when it might change your whole life but you have to believe in all that you can gain. you’ll feel so much more freedom when you’re finally moving forward with purpose and will. trust that success, independence and security are all waiting on the other side of fear. you can do this.

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night! 🖤

Pile 4

hello pile 4!

it looks like you aren’t that secure in yourself, your energy and your skills and abilities, at least at the moment. you feel out of touch with yourself. you’ve bern feeling this way for quite some time. you could currently be easily triggered and irritated by the smallest things and may not be really sure why. maybe you’re not even that aware of whats going on on the inside and that’s why it all comes out in your dreams. actually, it seems like a lot of you are in a relationship or at least some type of situationship and i think your frustration and disconnect stands in direct relation to this. i think the biggest problem here is that you probably aren’t honest with yourself and also not to your partner/person which leads to both of you feeling discontent as well as stagnant. it looks like you care for each other deeply but things may be really rocky at the moment. because of this there’s this theme of being scared of change, maybe resisting it and behaving in negative patterns. you’re scared to loose this person. some of you may be physically separated from them at the moment. your dreams are urging you to open yourself up and to communicate clearly. i can’t really tell where this situation is headed since it will differ for everyone but if you’re truly honest with yourself you know whats wrong and where you want this situation to go. it takes courage to communicate things that are difficult to say though it’s only fair to you and the other person. let your feelings out, only this way will you gain clarity and justice. i’m actually seeing a really positive outcome for you filled with new beginnings and opportunities and good news.

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night! 🖤

🔮thanks a lot for reading! 🔮

[solselah]

Pick a song ?

(Channeled messages)

💜

PILE 1 - The less I know the better

Your spirit guides are holding messages from you because they feel it’s the best you don’t know at this time !!! There are other things that should be taken care of right now by you !! They don’t want you to be obsessively thinking about what happened or why it happened!This separation or Disconnection between you and these people/person just know It’s not up to you to beat yourself up , you don’t deserve that !! It’s time to Put away the excuses & pick yourself up , don’t treat yourself like you aren’t worth a relaxing bath & a face mask or even a beautiful candle lit dinner. There is someone out there for you & this could even be solely friend based for some of you ! Like the people coming in your circle will be so supportive of your new life & new business ventures! They are here to support. Let them in ! Try not to pussh away!

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

PILE 2 - HELL N BACK

You’re now starting to notice the mental state you were in when your started a relationship, was not healthy it wasn’t even close to okay! You are actually baffled this person is still willing to stick it out and rock with you. They see the you , you haven’t been able to get in touch with ! I’m hearing they are acting as your mirror at this time !You may really be shying away from this person for that reason! It’s crazy how fast you Snap on this person sometimes ! They forgive and love you either way but they deem you a bit as snappy , but they really do chalk it up as like a “you” thing. They really would rather be with you than alone any day! You have a good one on your hands but I feel for you , you may need a mental break to find yourself ! Something is off here for you & it’s okay to admit it ! I would recommend being open about it by any means ! It helps to bring understanding into the dynamic.

*Especially if the transparency is private*🤫

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

PILE 3-ADORE

Now that you have discovered who you are outside of others perspective!! You are learning how to fall in love with your soul! You could have had your self esteem broken down BAD as far as 8/10 years ago , you’ve come this far on your journey understanding the things you’ve practiced have come in to action, landing you success in finding the reflective part of your soul! people tend to us others as mirrors … you chose to look within your own body to see who you are to YOU. You could be someone who does Acid or even takes your occasional shrooms , there is an emphasis on micro dosing!

So that could totally be your thing ,it helps you to be one with self! Especially after all of your broken moments regarding the relationship you built for / With self!!

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

PILE 4 - ICE SLIPPIN

Right now you’re so closed off !! I would go as far as saying you’re done with what life is offering right now (over it ) You could be feeling very protective over your heart at this point ! You’ve even relocated to grasp a bit of peace !! Someone could’ve really Took your heart out your chest and stepped on it ! Like they are so truly sorry and they just don’t know how to show that to you ever! It’s such a sad thing for this dynamic because it could’ve been something. you feel that you being closed off & cold is your answer! In reality it’s really numbing your true feelings… so bad. Your angels really need you to be honest with yourself about the track record of this relationship ! Was it bound to happen ? Were you numb to them ? Are you still ? There are so many question that need answers & that being hidden from you sometimes really devastates you because you desire to know more. You’re hurt and don’t know why ! That’s how it feels. You are not alone in this trust me. Your heavily heavily surrounded by Grand teachers & angels that are ready to go to war for you & are willing to teach you about how you can start to heal , it’s so time for you to begin to Build your strength back. It’s so necessary for the next steps for you and your opportunities ! I know this connection had you so emotionally attached. You were not the only one I promise !!!! They may hide it and throw it out the window but I guarantee you they are running in circles. It’s indeed time for you to

“criss cross apple sauce” ( very specific)

in the middle of the circle and elevate your energy right in their face at that!!!

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

Hope you enjoy 💜

IG: @Soleccentric

SONGS:

1: Tame impala - the less I know the better

2: BAKAR FT SUMMER WALKER - HELL N BACK

3: ADORE - WILLOW SMITH FT JAHNAVI HARRISON

4: ICE SLIPPIN - OMAR APOLLO

[review-anon]

Despair Time Chapter 2 Review Part 1: The Good

Hey guys Review Anon here and what’s this? I’m reviewing something other than ASOOT arcs? Yes, yes, I am. Shocker I know but I am not treading too far as I’m still covering Danganronpa as I’m reviewing Chapter 2 of Despair Time now it’s finished. I have my thoughts on it and now I’ve taken some time to take it all in I can talk about what went well, what didn’t go well and what lessons we can take away from the whole thing. I was gonna wait until Bubbles does their review/rant but natural disasters are bitches and power hasn’t been restored yet. So, I’m doing this now to get out of the way.

And for any people coming here from non ASOOT related tags then I will apologise in advance because you are gonna be in for a LOOONNNGGGG read. If you are the type to go tl;dr then turn away now.

I presume the rest of you want to read it? Well, let’s get right to it. I’ve split this into three parts because I don’t want to do Google Docs for this, and it would be an easier read for those who came from the non ASOOT space as you guys aren’t used to my lengthy reviews. Consider this your crash course on how I review, in extreme detail and excessive word count. This right here is about 8.5k which is a bite size by my standards which should tell you everything.

Please bear in mind you will have to wait a bit for the next parts as I want to get my current project done before this. Its just I didn't anticipate this taking so long.

Anyway, let’s get right into it, shall we?

Chains of Friendship

Chapter 1s for any Fanronpa tend to be very shocking as it’s the creator’s way to try and surprise the audience and subvert any expectations they have. Some do this well, others do not. But Despair Time was one of those who did it well by how it handled the main protagonist Teruko Tawaki.

At first glance she seemed to be an atypical Danganronpa protagonist. Ultimate Lucky Student? Check. Has an ahoge? Check. Believes in friendship, trust, hope and all those bollocks? Check. Gets backstabbed by someone they believed to be a friend in the first chapter? Check quite literally. Forgives said friend and continues to be a ray of sunshine? Ch- oh wait hang on a minute she didn’t do that at all.

Yeeaahhh while Xander’s sudden attempted murder on Teruko was a massive shock, what was even more so that Teruko decided to say fuck friendship and trust and not trust anyone ever again. On one hand you can understand Teruko’s rage. She was very close to Xander and he used that trust to try and kill her. Min was also someone who supported Teruko and she was willing to throw Teruko under the bus to save her own skin. None of the others stood up for her as they all decided that Teruko killed Xander, and it was only thanks to the power of protagonist energy and using basic logic that saved them. As such Teruko was well within her right to call everyone out for being selfish bastards. Especially since as we get to know more of Teruko this chapter, we learn that what happened in Chapter 1, while extreme, is a snapshot of her entire life due to how ruinous her luck has been.

I don’t think I’ve said this before, but I will say it now, luck SUCKS in the Danganronpa universe. Look at all the Lucky Students we had, Makoto is the only one who has a decent life and he loses the most. Nagito is so ravaged by luck he’s become suicidal and depressed. Yuki goes through literal hell due to his luck and the less said about Utsuro, the better. And while it’s still very much a WIP, one of my OCs is a Lucky Student and her life is equally ruined by her luck. But don’t worry I’ve not copy pasted it from anyone else as the direction I’ve taken my OC is in a way nobody has done before. And what Teruko has here is a fine example of that. She is an orphan who was abandoned by everyone in her life, she has numerous wounds on her body, she barely has any education as she has to sneak into large schools as a student and then once the gig is up, run away and her finances are in ruins due to the hospital bills. Its little surprise why she likes the Killing Game, as she gets guaranteed food and shelter here, which is more then what can be said outside. But even that has a silver lining as we know whoever the mastermind is, they have it out for her.

However, while this is a massive departure from what the typical protagonist would go through, it’s a known fact that in a Killing Game, you NEED to work with others. Class Trials are decided by majority vote and so if you become a pariah, you are very likely to be ignored and might risk dooming yourself or others if what you are saying is true. Teruko doesn’t have to like her classmates, but she needs to learn to coexist with them. Especially since Teruko switching from “I hate and distrust everyone” to “We are all friends” is a major mood whiplash I doubt anyone would do. So naturally one of the main themes of this chapter is learning to rebuild trust after its broken and the consequences of not trusting anyone.

Two major voices object to Teruko’s self-imposed isolation and distrust of everyone. The first is Eden Tobisa. She’s always been a cheerful and optimistic person within the Killing Game and has taken Xander’s and Min’s deaths harshly. In a way Eden behaves more like what a typical Danganronpa protagonist does, wanting to be friends with everyone and being kind. When she tries to get Teruko to bake with her, Teruko reminds her the last time they baked was with Hu, Rose and Min and that was later used for Min’s murder of Xander. She calls her naïve for being optimistic and says she won’t be friends with her, because she knows that at some point, Eden will crack from the harsh reality of the Killing Game and the luckster doesn’t want a stake in it. Kindness will always be rewarded with cruelty.

But when she says this Eden surprises her as contrary to what Teruko thinks, Eden isn’t oblivious to the cruelness of the Killing Game and reality as a whole. Yet the small clockmaker chooses to be kind because it’s the right thing to do, and if you give someone kindness while people can backstab you, you can be rewarded. When it comes to trust and distrust you need a healthy balance.

When I reviewed Black and White Christmas, I didn’t like how Sunako was forcing the Quantum Crew to trust the 76 Squad for a couple of reasons. I tried explaining it at the time, but I felt I telegraphed it quite poorly and I’m sure that’s irritated Mod Poi. The first one is on me, as I didn’t really know the 76 Squad then and as such couldn’t really tell at face value if they were to be trusted or not. Since they are from NWPM and I struggled to read it, my lack of knowledge led to that judgement, but the other thing is that I compared the whole thing to Raja and the Last Dragon and how it mishandled the theme of trust. Expect I didn’t explain it very well or misunderstood the hate. The main reason Raja got betrayed the first time was because she trusted Namaari too much, which you should never do to people you literally just meet. Give them the benefit of doubt yes, but never open yourself up to someone you don’t know that well. Teruko made that mistake with Xander and that’s why she got a knife in her gut.

While it’s a heartfelt speech, it had a notable impact on Teruko as she didn’t know how to respond. When you expect nothing but betrayal and backstabbing, having someone be kind for the sake of it can shock you. It’s the same shock Kyoko experienced in Trigger Happy Havoc when she didn’t expect Makoto to keep his mouth shut about evidence that he knows is false, and he explained it’s because he trusts her, she didn’t know how to respond. While Eden isn’t the main protagonist, the same principle applies.

Eden isn’t the only person who objects to Teruko’s views that you should never have faith in others as the other is Charles Cuevas. Starting off Charles was your atypical smug intellectual who believes he’s superior to others, akin like Byakuya and Rei. But much like them, he softens up and learns to work with others though in Charles’s case it’s a bit more extreme. In Chapter 1 he was revealed to suffer from Hemophobia, so much so that if he sees blood, he literally goes into shock and can’t remember anything. Xander uses this to his advantage to try and frame Charles for his would be killing of Teruko, but when it seems like everyone is turning on Charles, Whit is the one who stands up for him, gives evidence why he couldn’t do it and so Charles is cleared. This has caused the formally smug chemist to go through a bit of character development as while in Chapter 2 he still thinks his intelligence is beyond that of most of the cast, he isn’t pushing them down as much and has soften up to certain characters, most particularly Whit and Teruko. The former because he stood up for him and is an honest friend and the latter due to demonstrating that unlike most of the cast, Teruko actually uses her brain. It’s a slow burn but assuming Charles survives all to the end, he will become a much better person.

So, when Teruko talks about her disbelief that he is trusting people after what happened in the Class Trail, he brings up some valid points on why Teruko is actually being quite illogical as cooperation with others is key to surviving this game and humans are social pack animals by design, we work better as a team.

Chapter 1 Charles is pretty much Chapter 2 Teruko but after learning he cannot look at a corpse and thus is incapable of surviving on his own, Charles has started to learn how to rely on others. In some ways he doesn’t like how everyone pities him now so Teruko is a relief as her interactions with him haven’t changed. But while Eden says why Teruko is wrong from an emotional and moral perspective, Charles approaches it from a logical and factual point of view. As many analysts have already pointed out, it’s impossible to do a solo act in a Killing Game, if you want to live, you need to learn how to work with others. Either to prevent yourself from becoming a target, or so others can help you when you are down, much like how Whit helped Charles in his lowest point. As such using his own experiences, he knows the direction Teruko is coming from and implores her to reconsider as eventually events will occur which will force her back to trusting others again.

I like this as we have two different characters, both who get tons of development this Chapter, attacking Teruko’s morals from different angles. But while they are definitely making dents, Teruko is able to justify in her worldview that she’s been beaten too many times to be like Eden, especially as Eden seems to have had a good life where her worst secret is that she’s a closet lesbian. Which okay its definitely something Eden might have been harassed over if bigotry is still a thing in this world, but with so many of the cast being LGBTQ, it’s not the worst secret in the world. And for Charles, he has a deliberating condition which prevents him from surviving on his own. Everyone knows about Teruko’s luck and she’s survived this well without needing help on it so she doesn’t need to rely on others.

Expect of course, she’s wrong, because during an interaction with Veronika, she brings up the suggestion that Teruko might have prosopagnosia.

While it’s not confirmed in this Chapter, I do believe Bubbles has a point that Teruko might have face blindness but I don’t think its prosopagnosia. Recall that Teruko has had a very harsh upbringing where she couldn’t get close to people or have a solid support network. It’s known that having a disruptive childhood can lead to arrested development in various areas. I recall a case where a woman had blurry vision for a long time as a child and wasn’t diagnosed as shortsighted until much later in her life and because this happened after the point in a child’s development where the sense of self develops, it means this woman had a lot of self-identity problems and has a hard time recognising herself or others. But she doesn’t have prosopagnosia as that’s a neurological condition you are born with. Rather I feel the face blindness is due to people fazing in and out of Teruko’s life so much that she doesn’t bother forming connections and that is what’s fucked her up.

Regardless of the technicities, it IS a problem in a Killing Game because it would be very easy for someone to trick Teruko by merely dressing up as someone else. That wouldn’t be a problem if Teruko has a support network in place, but if she doesn’t, then she’s a goner. So, like Charles, for medical reasons Teruko doesn’t have the means to stand on her own and needs others to help her.

But the one character who shattered Teruko’s worldview and made her realise what she’s doing is wrong is the victim of this chapter; Arei Nageishi.

When Arei was introduced back in the Prologue at first it seemed like she was gonna be an insufferable Hiyoko-like character. She’s vicious, mean and enjoys tormenting others. But Chapter 1 reveals some layers to her as when Eden invited Teruko, Rose, Min and Hu to bake, Arei got really upset because she wasn’t invited, implying she wants to be involved with the group but doesn’t know how to approach it in any way other than being mean. Then during her FTE with J, she reveals that she has a ranking system in place for how badly she bullies other, while some like J get mild teasing, others she will try to ruin their lives completely. And for kind people she will make sure they cry because she cannot stand anyone being kind, implying that Arei seems to have a real problem with people being kind.

As such when Eden goes to apologise to Arei for excluding her, at first Arei behaves like how Teruko would think she would, she belittles Eden, calls her dumb and says she’s gonna die if she keeps this up, which causes Eden to burst into tears and run away. But alone with David and Teruko, Arei confesses that she didn’t like doing that. She said that stuff to Eden to protect her, because she believes the world is like what Teruko says it is, that kindness cannot be rewarded with anything other than cruelty. And if Eden keeps this up, she’s gonna die. The reason for this is as you would expect due to trauma as Arei’s older sisters would torment her constantly and make her life hell, until Arei just had it and frame her sisters for a bunch of crimes which resulted in them getting send to reform school. This here is a snapshot of one of the main themes this chapter has so we will come back to it later. So, is Arei just reinforcing Teruko’s worldview? Nope. Because then Arei reveals that despite all of that, she WANTS kind people to exist, she HAS to be doubtful of Eden because she’s so kind and optimistic, the exact person Arei wants to have in her life, but her past experiences have gotten in the way. And as she breaks down sobbing due to that, something stirs within Teruko.

Without realising it, Arei has shot a massive wound in Teruko’s armour. She’s someone who is basically like Teruko, who is rude and cruel to others because every time she’s tried to be kind, it was slapped down and punished. She also believes the world is a dark and evil place, but she also wants to believe kind people exist, despite what her experiences have taught her. This is what Teruko is going through. The fact she does cactus puppet plays of Xander and Min, shows that despite what Teruko claims, she is not a sociopath and can care for others, and she wants to be friends with everyone but having been hurt so badly, she cannot get close again. Teruko, without realising it, sees a lot of herself within Arei. She denies it at the time but those words have an impact on her.

David’s speech to her, even though its hollow and not even Arei believed it because she saw his secret and knew he was a piece of shit, still didn’t mind it. The reason being is that even if someone like David, who is seen as a beacon of hope and sunshine, is a rotten bastard deep down, then its proof she isn’t too far gone. While obviously we don’t have David reveal this to the others, we see the conversation happen, and it clearly had an effect on David, due to him remembering it so vividly. Arei’s drive to become a better person wound up saving Eden’s life twice as she interrupted Arturo’s attack on Eden when she tried to reveal his secret to him, and by doing her stunt Ace, the culprit for this case, decided to switch targets and go for Arei instead of Eden. Which I’m glad that Eden didn’t die because if she did, that would convince many that Despair Time was gonna be a cynical work like the Another Series and The Mistake. And why of course Arei still died this chapter, her death was NOT caused by her reaching out to others because Ace was gonna kill regardless of what was happening. And Teruko’s rage at Ace for killing Arei was less about him having a shitty motive but because had Arei lived, she and Teruko would have become good friends, since she would have understood Teruko’s pain and her desire to want to trust others regardless of her past.

Teruko also suffered the consequences of shutting others out as by being isolationist, Teruko has missed the context for a lot of what shenanigans have unfolded among others, and due to believing her viewpoint to be the only correct one, she makes mistakes. During the Class Trial, Teruko misreads the time and assumed the murder occurred at 8pm and NOT 8am which is Arei’s true time of death. Had Charles not pointed this out, David would be ruled as the culprit and everyone would have been executed. Another major mistake Teruko made was in how to end the Killing Game. When Veronika said that Eden had an idea to end the Killing Game by being as boring as possible, Teruko said that wouldn’t work as that’s why motives exist, whereas she has an idea but she needs to wait until the next murder occurs. We are left hanging, and for Arei’s case quite literally on what she meant by that, that is until Ace was exposed as the culprit and Teruko asks Ace to do something outrageous; Kill MonoTV.

Teruko’s logic for this at first glance seems sound. The reason the Killing Game occurs is due to the fact they have to follow MonoTV’s rules, and breaking them results in death. However, with Ace due to die via execution, he has nothing to lose. If he destroys MonoTV he has a chance to save his own life, of course if he fails, so what, Ace is gonna die anything so it achieves nothing. In short, there is no downsides and only upsides.

Expect of course if you have been paying attention, this is not the case. Firstly, normally with the mascots they tend to have copies, one gets destroyed, another takes its place. Thus, the game will carry on, but then there’s another one and one that tripped a lot of people up. When MonoTV was asked who would be the blackened, he said whoever was the most “mastermind-y” Now a lot of people interpreted this as being whoever is behind the murder and not necessarily the murderer. This is why Bubbles proposed that while Hu would be the one to kill Arei/J, David would be the blackened as he was the one who manipulated Hu into doing so. But this logic doesn’t just apply to murders, when Ace obliges and tries to smash MonoTV, it doesn’t work due to the robot being more durable then initially thought, the AI said that while Ace did break a rule, he was gonna be executed anyway so it would achieve nothing. As such the one being punished would be the one who told Ace to break said rule; Teruko herself.

As the countdown for Teruko to get gatling gunned occurs, I wasn’t worried like Teruko, as I KNEW someone was gonna jump in front of her and take the shots. The question was; who? I was thinking either Eden or Charles would do so as both have strong connections to Teruko, and for both it would be a massive contribution to their characters. In Eden’s case its shows she’s not scared to fight what she believes in, and returning the favour. Teruko stood up for her when the culprits narrowed down to Ace and herself, and Teruko decided to focus on Ace, so the petite clockmaker would return the favour. For Charles, it would be him facing his fears as he is terrified of the sight of blood and gore, so him jumping in front of the way of a gatling gun, assuming he survives, would show how much he is starting to care for the others. Anyone else aside those two…I didn’t think so. Ace would have never done so as I’m sure he is the one who voted for Teruko. Nico clearly wanted to get away with their crimes and the others either aren’t close to Teruko or jumping in front of the gun would be out of character for them. So, when the timer hit zero, I expected a CGI of either Eden or Charles with a lot of bullets in them…

But instead, my expectations were blown wide open by the fact that Levi of all people jumped in front of Teruko and shielded her from the bullets. This reminded me very much of when Akane was almost blown up by a bazooka by Monokuma but Nekomaru blocked his way and got shot. Considering what we learnt about Levi in this Chapter, this really took me off guard AND bumped him up several tiers in my character rankings.

But this had a total shock on Teruko, as she believed if she didn’t care for anyone else, nobody would likewise care for her, so the fact that someone cared enough to shield her from pain, and that they are on death’s door because of her, send shockwaves through Teruko’s body as when after Ace’s execution as everyone rushed to the infirmary to treat Levi, Teruko stayed behind to do something she said she would never do; mourn.

The amount of people who contributed to Teruko’s character development doesn’t end there as while those four are examples of positive interactions for Teruko, we have had two cases of negative interactions who serve a different purpose, the first is David Chiem.

When introduced David…seemed off. He seemed like an affable and friendly person who believes everyone has the motivation and desire to change, and Xander in particular seems to be a massive fanboy of him. But like most celebrities and people in public that is just a façade is in the Prologue when Xander went off to get something for his idol to sign, we see David chuckling to himself on how much of an idiot Xander is, without realising that Teruko was there to see it all, and his shock when she reveals she heard that, says it all. Chapter 2 brought up the suss meter even further when David ‘confessed’ his secret and implored everyone to discuss their own secrets, which far from doing good, ended up causing a lot of drama and tension. Anyone with a irk of sense could tell David was fake, I knew he was fake, Bubbles knew he was fake, pretty much most Youtubers reacting knew he was fake.

Another factor working against him is his VA. Quite a few SDRA2 English Dub VAs also worked on Despair Time, and for the most part is interesting to see their contrasts. Bblackroses is known for playing Hibiki Otonokoji, but here she is J who while Hibiki is a bubbly peppy girly-girly, J is a complete tomboy who hates the starlight and fame. Artimmissis Setsuka Chiebukuro, who is a very reliable woman with a prankster side to her, but here she is MonoTV an incompetent mastermind who tells the worst jokes. David Chiem’s VA is Sword of Swords who also worked on SDRA2, and what character did he play there?

Oh, nobody important, just Mikado Sannoji the Mastermind of that game, the leader of the main antagonist group Void and more or less a piece of shit.

At first glance the contrast seems to be that Mikado is an evil bastard whereas David is a moral force of good. But as the pressure mounts for David and the fact his secret is that he’s a manipulator who likes to deceive others, as well as how he mocked Arei’s desire for friends earlier, meant when it reached the boiling point the mask came off and David revealed his true self.

It’s here the true contrasts between him and Mikado become clear. Both are men who hide their true selves behind a mask, literally for Mikado and figuratively for David and both pretended to be forces of good before their masks slip and their true vile nature is revealed. David is obvious as he tried to be a good moral speaker whereas Mikado you might have missed it tried to be a hero and claim Void was a force of good before Rei and Teruya ruined it. In addition, their true selves are so VERY different. Mikado always remained polite and affable even when he is being extremely bastardry whereas David is rude, condensing and swears all the damn time. I also cannot help that David’s true self looking a lot like Utsuro, who is the main object of Mikado’s desires cannot NOT be a coincidence.

But what does David show for Teruko? Well, he seems to at a glance reinforce Teruko’s beliefs that nobody can be trusted as Teruko smugly pointed out she saw the warning signs of him being evil way before anyone else did. And whenever he talks to her, he seems to want to keep this act of Teruko hating everyone up, saying it’s her nature to distrust others and the only thing she trusts is the truth. And then here is his final confession he wants Teruko to trust what he’s saying. David is in a way a warning of the kind of person Teruko would become if she keeps on her current path. I also think that David had Teruko’s secret and knows it’s her fault the Killing Game is going on. The fact he keeps seemly praising Xander and calling him a good person is obviously an attempt to get under Teruko’s skin due to how she feels about him. I for one second don’t believe he cares about Xander.

Mr. Politician isn’t the only person who serves as a warning as the culprit of this chapter, Ace Markey does as well. Ace always seemed to be a coward as he is easily scared of his own shadow and while he talks tough, he doesn’t have the actions to back it up. However, in Chapter 2 Ace gets sick and tired of being a wimp and thus decides to become a bully, which is still being a coward as pretty much most bullies bully because they are cowards who want someone weaker than themselves to lord over to make themselves feel better. Yet what drives Ace’s actions is his Thanatophobia, fear of death which is a very bad thing to have in a Killing Game. Due to this fear, Ace decides to commit murder as he feels if he doesn’t kill someone, someone will do the same to him and the fact Nico almost does, reinforces this belief. Teruko is someone while not paranoid, is very distrustful of everyone and if she feels that anyone and everyone is out to get her, she could fall down the same slippery slope that Ace does.

Despite this, Ace still manages to surprise her as when Levi takes the bullets for her, everyone needs to get to the infirmary to treat Levi otherwise he dies, but the lift won’t work since Ace still needs to be executed. Ace has already made it very clear he hates and despises Levi, especially after the latter confesses that he doesn’t care about the former, which seemed to really hurt him, but seeing someone he hates that much do something so selfless, means he decides to do the one decent thing in his life, while also being his last, getting MonoTV to execute him so the lift doors open and Levi could be saved.

That I think was the final straw which broke Teruko. She has had mounting pressure throughout the entire Chapter but then someone who was a coward, sacrificing himself so that someone else could live, is the final crushing proof as well as the knowledge that while she avoided making the same mistakes as before, she just wound up making new ones, that caused her to cry alone in the Trial Room.

We also get interesting character interactions with Teruko and MonoTV throughout the chapter. Since Teruko isolated herself so much from the others, MonoTV hires her to do maintenance around the Killing Game since he’s too incompetent to do it himself. As Monokumas were originally butler robots this would have never happened in the main series. We learn a far bit about MonoTV, that he is a simple robot designed for the Killing Game and he doesn’t have full knowledge on who’s running the thing as he was only programmed to do what his tasks enabled. And as Teruko pointed out, he is sadistic as Min was executed before she could say everything she wanted to and Ace’s execution was dragged out for as long as possible, in both cases it’s to make the victims feel the most despair. The other interesting thing is that Teruko can use Monocoins to get him to remove other characters who are bothering her which is the complete contrast to FTEs. What should we call them instead? Exclusion Zone Effects or EZE? Nah that doesn’t roll off the tongue.

In conclusion, I really liked how Teruko was handled in this Chapter due to how much of a cliffhanger the previous chapter left with her. This chapter did so much to knock her down for her high and mighty view and while she won’t be buddy-buddy come Chapter 3, I do believe that she will be more approachable to the cast. Teruko’s journey throughout this fanganronpa will be interesting to see and I see her opening up more about her past as she gets more comfortable with the cast.

Trust in Nature

Every Danganronpa game has two themes, no matter how you slice it. The first theme is the most obvious one and this is a theme that the protagonist and the mastermind have in common. For Trigger Happy Havoc its Hope vs. Despair, Goodbye Despair is Future vs. Past and Killing Harmony is Truth vs. Lies.

Some have said that it’s too early to call what the themes for Despair Time are, but I disagree as Chapter 2 imo is the ideal time to introduce your themes, and I think I’ve worked them out. The primary theme is one that doesn’t take much to deduce and others have caught onto it and that is Optimism vs. Cynicism. Teruko is a very cynical individual and doesn’t think she can trust others but more optimistic people disagree, saying being jaded makes you more open to being deceived. Eden and Charles, who are 100% the partners in this fanganronpa serving similar roles to Kaito and Maki in Killing Harmony where one represents the emotional connection and the other the logical one. Eden is always a bundle of sunshine and wanting everyone to be happy, but unlike someone like say Makoto, she isn’t oblivious to the fact the world is cruel but chooses to be kind regardless because its decent and it’s the most moral thing to do. Charles is more logical based and originally was quite cynical but having been shown kindness by Whit, he has opened up a bit more to some other people and while he definitely is a work in progress, he is more optimistic about surviving and escaping the Killing Game.

And this brings me to the Rival of the Fanganronpa; David. Bubbles didn’t like David surviving past Chapter 2, ignoring their own hatred for David aside because they didn’t think David contributed anything meaningful to the overall narrative of Despair Time. I disagree harshly as if I am right with the main themes of Despair Time, David is 100% a perfect Rival character as he represents those themes so well. The cynicism side is obvious as David believes that everyone is gonna die in the Killing Game and there is no point to continuing so might as well get it over and done with. This is why when David’s true nature was exposed, he tried to claim to be the killer, which is another typical rival tactic, so everyone votes for him and they all die. This very logic is why Teruko said she is not the culprit because as soon as David went on his tirade, it would have been an instant win condition for her. And as the game progresses more and more people are gonna want to live to prove David wrong and his mental sanity is probably gonna decline as a result until his Rival protection cause expires in Chapter 5 where he probably dies in a way to try and spite the cast. Going back to the Mastermind, I believe they think the Despair Time cast are all horrible people that deserve to die, whenever that be because they are Neo Remnants of Despair or something to do with Teruko, and as such use the Killing Game to kill them all. By the end of the fanganronpa, Teruko would have become more like a typical Danganronpa protagonist and be able to defy the mastermind wanting to kill her by showing the world is not a bleak place and people can change and improve.

That brings me nicely to the secondary themes. The primary themes are shared between the protagonist and the mastermind, whereas the secondary themes are shared between the group and the rival character. This take a bit more thinking to figure out but I think I’ve cracked what Despair Time’s secondary theme is. Trigger Happy Havoc’s is working together as a team as the class are trying to work together to survive the Killing Game while Byakuya is trying to play the Killing Game in order to “win” and isolates himself from the others. Goodbye Despair’s secondary theme is a deconstruction of the idea of talent as despite being Ultimates, Class 77-B doesn’t really care about their talents and support each other for their own individual characteristics and despite Hajime being revealed to be a Reserve Course Student, are extremely accepting of him. Nagito by contrast believes Hope’s Peak talented and talentless system is gospel, praises his fellow Ultimates for their talents which they do not want to be reminded by and is extremely cruel to Hajime when he finds out he is a talentless person who thinks he can mingle with his idea of the elite. Killing Harmony’s secondary theme is wanting to remain stagnant and compliant as the V3 Cast are very content to stick to the status quo and carry on with their lives, whereas Kokichi would rather shake things up and challenge said status quo. All of these secondary themes are very important to the story. And with that I believe Despair Time’s secondary theme is if humanity is inherently good or evil.

That seems very similar to Optimism vs. Cynicism but it isn’t. This theme tackles if humans are capable of changing their nature or if they are always either good or evil. From this it’s very easy to see where David lies, he believes humanity cannot change their nature, people are either saints or scum. If someone can “change themselves” it’s because they were never that bad to begin with, whereas truly evil people cannot change. And Teruko also seems to agree on this concept because whenever Eden says she is a good person, Teruko tells her to stop as by saying that, she makes her feel worse for the fact she can change but she hasn’t made the effort to do so. Teruko always believed she was scum and would die like scum if she cared about nobody around her.

Naturally this chapter has a few characters who challenge this rule big time. Let’s start with Levi, the guy has always seemed chill but we get to see more of a scary side to him when he threatens to kill Ace if he doesn’t stop being an arsehole. We also have an interesting opening discussion with him and Eden where Levi confesses that he doesn’t see himself as a good person, contrary to what Eden thinks. This all gets revealed in the Class Trial when Levi admits that he doesn’t possess empathy and therefore cannot care about anyone around him, the fact he’s killed 4 people, one of whom being his own father and yet he treats it with the same disinterest as one would swat a fly, is very telling.

Fans were quick to diagnose Levi with Antisocial Personality Disorder, and this is where DT Dev actually impressed me big time. This disorder is one of the most maligned within society, even more so in my opinion then those on the autistic spectrum. The reason being is simple, almost every single time a fictional character is revealed to have this disorder they are almost always a psychopathic villain who kills everyone around them and gives zero shits. To say how damaging this stereotype is unbelievable and Levi is frankly the most realistic portrayal of someone with this disorder. Yes, Levi doesn’t have empathy, or a very low level of it, but he still tries to be a good person not because of morals and emotions, but more so out of a sense of duty, especially as before Levi revealed it nobody suspected a thing due to Levi not behaving like the usual stereotypes. He isn’t very good at it because he's trying to figure out how to be a good person which isn’t easy when it’s not instinct. When Ace asked if he cared about him at all and Levi responded with flat no, while Ace screamed at Levi in his usual manner, it’s clear the jockey was hurt by this reveal as a small part of him wanted to consider Levi a friend.

So, for Levi to then shield Teruko with his body from the gatling gun, not only comes as a massive shock but I believe this is Levi’s attempts of trying to prove he is a good person. Chances are, he wasn’t happy with how he handled the situation with Ace and wanted to prove something to him, so that’s why he protected Teruko, not only because thinking about it, Levi was probably one of the few characters who could survive that, but to try and redeem himself from how he mishandled the situation with Ace. And the effects of this are very clear as Ace, who was trying to prolong his death as much as possible, upon realising the only way to save Levi is for him to die, demands MonoTV to execute him. If someone without a clear concept of empathy can be a good person, then isn’t that proof humans can change?

Arei is another character who also wants to believe she can change. After she decides to become a good person, the bowler saves Eden from being threatened by Arturo and then later that night confronts David about the fact she knows he’s full of shit. We heard some of this originally from Ace who overheard the conversation, but when David is thinking about what to say to Eden, we hear the other half where Arei says she’s glad David is horrible because it means there is no such thing as a pure good person. That even someone like Eden might have done something nasty and if he’s so deprived then there’s hope left for her. She even offers a hand of friendship to David because she thinks they are one and the same, and they can improve their behaviour together. The fact David remembers this means the conversation had a meaningful impact on him, even though he doesn’t show it. What Arei is showing is clear existentialism or optimistic nihilism. Nihilism which I’m sure 75% of people reading this believe in, is where you believe nothing in the world matters because it’s all meaningless. Optimistic nihilism by contrast is saying that yes nothing matters, but that’s okay because you have the power to decide what is most important. Arei clearly believes there is no such thing as a pure good person, but what she can be is a slightly less shitty person then she was before.

And finally, there’s Ace. Ace’s motive for killing Arei is the fact he is scared of death, and that if he didn’t kill someone, then he would be killed. His reason for targeting Arei was simply coincidence, his original target was Eden but upon learning of Arei’s desire to change, decided to exploit that to target her. Ace also demonstrates a level of intelligence we haven’t seen from him before given that he was able to memorise how Nico tried to kill him, replicate that method, overpower Arei with a method unique to him and since everyone thinks Ace is dumb, he was able to pull the wool over their eyes and he could have damn well gotten away with it, especially with David’s stunt making so many convinced he was the one who killed Arei. Goes to show that people are not as stupid as you think. He gets chewed out big time by Teruko who calls him a coward, his motive is dumb and that Arei didn’t deserve to die because of that. However, even when facing death there is still a chance for character development and that comes when Levi eats a rain of bullets. Not only does this change Ace’s opinion on Levi considering he hated his guts before, but he gives Arturo a well-deserved callout who claims he doesn’t know how to treat Levi’s wounds because of his mix-maxed medical skills, but Ace calls him a coward saying as a surgeon he should know the basics and apply that skill to save Levi’s life or at least keep him alive as he gets executed. And yes, despite being as scared as possible for his death, he accepts it as it’s the only way to save Levi as the lift doors won’t open until he is executed.

Onto Ace’s execution I was pleasantly surprised as I have seen somewhere on YouTube an Ultimate Jockey Execution where the horses are used to tear the victim up, and I would have complained MASSIVELY if Ace went down a similar route. But no, the execution is more tailored to Ace’s fear of death by him escaping horror scenario after horror scenario, no wonder Veronika was orgasming over it, until when facing an execution squad, they shoot confetti and Ace suffers a heart attack and dies from fear. This is actually a real way people can die as during the 1970s, there was a string of cases where Hmong refugees would die from heart attacks in their sleep despite being healthy and middle-aged. Doctors at the time concluded that they were suffering nightmares so bad it would cause heart attacks and kill them in their sleep, and if this sounds familiar to you, it should as it was one of the inspirations behind A Nightmare on Elm Street. There’s a reason you shouldn’t scare someone with heart problems and while Ace might not have any heart issues, he has been suffering a lot of stress which could have made his heart rate dodgy and then the execution delivered.

These themes are extremely heavy hitting and I’m glad Despair Time is covering them. I could be wrong about them but that’s my theory on what they are.

Murderer Among Us

And finally, my last big positive about Despair Time’s Chapter 2 is the fact we not only get an attempted murder, with the plot twist the would-be victim would later become the culprit but the fact that this attempt didn’t succeed means the would-be murderer walks among the cast still and they have to deal with the consequences.

I have wanted this since Killing Harmony when Monokuma offered the tantalising prospect that if there are two blackeneds, only the first murder counts. So, when Korekiyo confesses to killing Tenko, the cast cannot vote for him because if he didn’t kill Angie, they would have got it wrong. I REALLY wanted it to be that Tenko was Angie’s killer, my logic being that Angie invited Tenko to her Talent Lab for a chat which got into a heated debate about how Angie was brainwashing Himiko and Tenko, who is quite hot-headed and doesn’t always think straight, accidently killed Angie in the heat of the moment. She would then either cover up her crime or someone else like the Mastermind would make the locked room mystery which the cast discovered and when Kiyo announces he is gonna do a séance, Tenko grows worried as if the séance is a success, Angie would reveal the culprit so Tenko offered to become the vessel which led to her death. You could also argue that maybe she sensed Korekiyo was up to something and did it to protect Himiko. Either way that would make for an interesting Chapter 4 because tensions between Korekiyo and Himiko would be high, but of course Kodaka doesn’t do anything with that and as a result we end up with 4 deaths, and 2 ruined chapters.

No other fanganronpa tried anything like this as they were all not willing to commit so I thank Despair Time wholeheartedly for actually having the balls to do so. As Nico, being pushed to their limit by Ace’s tormenting of them, which is very similar to how they are ostracised for being non-binary, meant they tried to commit murder by hanging Ace on the fans, but they not only miscalculated the strength of the fans but Ace woke up from being knocked unconscious and struggled awake. Before Nico could try again, Teruko and Eden showed up, foiling any would be attempt. Not only did Nico try to commit murder, but they betrayed the trust of both Hu who was trying to protect them but also Rose as Nico stole Hu’s wire and Rose’s turpentine to use for their murder scheme. What’s interesting is they didn’t apologise because they not only were not sorry for trying to kill Ace but know an apology won’t cut it. J gave Nico a very harsh verdict that even though their attempt was foiled, the point is they still tried to commit murder and was willing to give up the lives of everyone here for their own, and betrayed the trust of those who reached out to them. Hu hasn’t had a very good time this chapter because two of her closest friends; David and Nico, turned out to be using her for their own schemes, and we see the consequences of her mother hen nature. I feel a major theme for Chapter 3 is gonna be forgiveness as both Nico and David have burnt a lot of bridges this chapter and the fact they still live, means they need to somehow get back into the good graces of the group. How they do this I don’t know; David probably would be fine being a pariah but I’m not sure if Nico is wanting to make amends. They might, but they might also think they went too far. I do hope that Nico tries, especially after they have seen that even people like Levi and Ace were willing to act selflessly. And who knows, maybe David might try but I think it would be a ruse, which will still work because this cast isn’t the brightest.

Does this mean Nico would be a survivor? I don’t know as I do believe between David and Nico, one will be a survivor and the other will die, probably as a victim but who I cannot tell as Chapter 3 would probably expand upon these two a bit more. Regardless I’m glad this is being touched upon and I for one am looking forward to see where it takes Nico.

And that’s all the positives I have to say about Chapter 2. Teruko had a good character arc, I like how we know the main themes, we know who presumably the partners and rival characters are, we have an attempted murderer walking among the cast, quite a few characters like Levi, Arei and Ace got moments to shine and the execution was well done. But it cannot be all sunshine and rainbows. As much as there is good, there is also bad so when we come back next time, I’m gonna talk about what didn’t go well for Chapter 2 and what DT Dev could do to improve things.

Until then, see ya! -Review Anon

[tanya-shiza]

Tired Gold busts (2/2) // LMK Medicinal Flower AU

Part 1: [LINK]

Yay 🎉 I was finally able to draw Wei Jian and he doesn't look ugly... It's a pity it's not full-length, but I wanted to draw something like a bust 😃☺️

About Wei Jian:

Wei Jian is an office plankton, but he is happy with it. He loves his job, despite the fact that the boss is very strict and changes workers like gloves.

Wei Jian's boss is the richest man in China. (Yes, that's Reng Zhang Ji from my Coin AU. I originally created Reng Zhang Ji for this au, but he fits better in Coin AU. In Coin AU, Reng Zhang Ji also mentions Wei Jian as the kindest person he's ever met 😉 In Coin AU, the Mystic Mayor became Shi Cheng. Shi Cheng and Wei Jian never met.)

Wei Jian was employee of the month 3 times (which is almost impossible) and accordingly his photo was hung on the wall of honor.

Wei Jian is friends with the guard at the entrance to the office building named Yu Cu. He is a bit emotionless and rather grumpy. Employees often encounter his stubbornness. However, Wei Jian has been working for quite a long time and during this time Yu Cu fell for his kindess.

Sometimes the guard even does a little help and marks Wei Jian as «here» if he is suddenly late in order to avoid him being fired for being late often. If managers find out about this, they both are fined, of course. But Yu Cu forgives Wei Jian for this.

Wei Jian is not a fan of sports, much less, beer, but Yu Cu is. Sometimes, for help with delays, the guard asks Wei Jian to go to the bar with him to watch football together. (It was in this bar that Wei Jian first noticed Shi Tiao, who had a bad habit of getting drunk after work.)

Wei Jian is earns above average, which is suprised Shi Tiao because he the one who earns more, but Wei Jian's apartment, car and clothes create the illusion that the opposite is true.

Wei Jian is a great cook and often watches cooking shows, but unlike the Demon Bull King and Pigsy, he is not a fan of Chang'e or her baking. There is a character in Nexo Knights called Gobbleton Rumble, who is a reference to a real person. Wei Jian would be a fan of him.

You might be wondering, since Wei Jian is so perfect, why doesn't he have a wife yet? He's already 36 years old! The thing is that Wei Jian is kinda cursed, but no one knows about it. Wei Jian was born under a star that destroys any chances of finding a female companion. Wei Jian tries hard, but all relationships end before they last even 2 months. His record is 3 months and 4 days.

However, the star did not say anything about male companion 😏😉 But Wei Jian never even thought that he can choose males as a partner.

Due to numerous failures in dates, Wei Jian became very worried about it. He is disappointed in himself and thinks that he is bad at relationships, although in fact it is the opposite.

Shi Tiao and Wei Jian's relationship wasn't official for a long time. They just acted like a couple, but never called each other boyfriend.

Wei Jian is very afraid that his relationship with Shi Tiao will end up like all the others. This is his deep unconscious fear, which only will be find out when Hua Kan mentions that their friendship is more like a romantic relationship.

Wei Jian was born into a "female family". That's means, he has only Grandma and Mom, who love him very much. Especially Grandma. This is important because Wei Jian didn't have a "masculine" figure, so he took his mother's lead, which led to how gentle, kind and caring he became.

Wei Jian is under intense pressure from his grandma and mother towards a wife and children. They are very concerned that their only son has achieved everything except the favor of a woman.

The numerous mentions of women make Wei Jian wary. He worries that his grandma nad mother might not accept Shi Tiao because he is a man.

⚠️Triggers will be mentioned below! Be careful!⚠️

Suicide

Premature babies

Postpartum depression / Regular depression

Wei Jian was born about 2 months earlier than he should have been. He was premature. This affected his body, of course. He was born very skinny, weak, and his eyesight was poor. He has been wearing glasses since he was a baby. None of his family wore glasses before old age.

One nice day, when nothing foreshadowed trouble Wei Jian's mother returned home and find her husband hanged himself in the living room. Such a horrific shock immediately caused labor. The mother gave birth with difficulty.

The loss of the beloved husband, who never said that anything was worring him, hit the woman hard. She fell into depression and completely forgot about her newborn son, who needed a lot of attention given his premature birth.

In order for Wei Jian's young bones to grow properly, his mother often gave him massages that doctors taught her. At such moments, she felt love and care for her son, unfortunately, this was not enough to forget about the grief.

Then the grandma took care of Wei Jian's needs. Seeing how the boy grows incredibly skinny and often undernourished due to the mother's distance, the grandma moves in to live with them in order to support both: her daughter and grandson.

Grandma didn't mean to, but she accidentally overfed her grandson, and Wei Jian was quite chubby for several years in his teen age (high school). This was especially bad because his bones weren't as strong as he'd like. After entering university and receiving a doctor's note, Wei Jian immediately set about getting himself in shape. Even to this day, Wei Jian takes care of his health. He helps Shi Tiao take care of his health and eat right. It was Wei Jian who helped Shi Tiao break his habit of drinking after a hard day at the bar.

Because the massages brought Wei Jian's mother peace and relief, she continued to do it even when it was no longer needed. One day, she even taught Wei Jian some of the techniques. Wei Jian sometimes uses them because Shi Tiao often complains of joint pain.

[lelianasbong]

HEY ive seen talk here & there about how EA!wyll is way different from how he is now. can you tell me what the rewrite changed about his character, im so so curious

AAAHHHHH YES. So okay. I tried to break this down into more digestible pieces and I'm working almost entirely off my memory so please forgive (and for anyone who's reading and knows better, feel free to correct) any errors.

Wyll's story - originally Wyll was a son of house Eltan (relatively minor noble house compared to Ravengard but still very well-known, they founded the Flaming Fists). He was sent to the Fists as punishment for stealing (this was seemingly where his strained relationship with his father began, rather than the pact with Mizora - which came later rather than him defending Baldur's Gate at seventeen). Apparently he didn't excel there because in addition to the disastrous goblin attack that led him to treating with Mizora in the first place, one of the Flaming Fists talks shit about him when you meet her, the gobbos call him Captain Failure, etc.

Wyll's personality - he was quicker to anger, especially as it concerned goblins. His whole vendetta was against goblins: they killed people, stole his eye (and were HOLDING ONTO IT IN THE CAMP) rather than him losing it during the battle with the Cult of the Dragon. He was ready and willing to torture the goblins at the windmill on the off chance that they had intel on the one that took his eye, and when you met Spike Wyll would tadpole into your brain with an eager LET'S KILL THEM. His Blade of Frontiers persona was just a little more obviously put-on, like he was clinging to it out of insecurity.

EA Wyll was more prone to puns and saying weird shit than even his final release self (which is saying something bc Wyll as he is now loves puns & whimsy & being a huge cheeseball).

Wyll's romance - EA Wyll was willing to get physical sooner, even though Mizora's presence cast a dark cloud on the romance. She'd interrupt your moment of intimacy using Wyll's sending stone (though it's a bit ambiguous whether it's actually her or Wyll's conflicted feelings toward her that makes him hesitate). You can tell he's sort of playing the suave hero during the scene - "may I kiss you?", "where were we?", leaning in and smirking, the whole bit. You basically had the choice to 1) fuck him so good he forgot all about Mizora or 2) hold him through the night and just make him feel safe and protected, which surprises and pleases him - "I'm used to being the hero. Not so used to needing one."

Mizora - she was kidnapped by goblins in EA and that was her whole rescue mission, rather than being spirited away to Moonrise. Wyll in final release explicitly states that he's never slept with Mizora - "I'm really not that kind of man" - but in EA there was some indication that their relationship was physical, that he wanted her despite himself.

[bloody-wonder]

mid-year book tag

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2024? i have read so many good ones this year but no particular one stands out to me as The Best so i'll name top 5 instead (in the order i read them in): a thousand stitches, doctrine of labyrinths, in other lands, big swiss, my brilliant friend - so, quite a range of genres and tones, as usual :)

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2024? the virtu is definitely my favorite part of doctrine of labyrinths and the tropic of serpents, the second book in the memoirs of lady trent, was just a perfect historical fantasy adventure novel - it's like if jane austen wrote indiana jones except it's also a nature documentary about dragons. last but not least, empire of the damned which came out in march solidified jay kristoff's empire of the vampire as my favorite vampire book series. you might have heard me screaming about it from the rooftops. all three of these sequels, i find, are even better than the previous book in their respective series.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i'm saving kj charles' death in the spires for the fall since it's a spooky campus murder mystery (i think?) and i also want to read apostles of mercy and so finish lindsay ellis' sci fi series (which i have lost interest in somewhat tbh but i'm nothing if not a completionist lol). i was curious about the familiar but the reviews i've seen don't look too promising so i'm probably not going to prioritize it.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2024? i'm looking forward to kj charles' new romance book, the duke at hazard, as well as the new evander mills mystery, rough pages, but the piece of fiction i'm anticipating the most is actually the radioapple southern gothic au by my favorite fanfic author reminiscentbells. she's going to write the whole thing this summer and start posting in september - i'm so excitedddd😱

5. Biggest Disappointment? emily wilde's encyclopaedia of faeries is the book equivalent of a ghoul wearing the skin of your beloved. i wasn't a fan of a deadly education either😒 was very excited to read gaywyck but the expectations of "jane eyre but gay" which the cover of that book gave me were unfortunately not met🤷‍♀️

6. Biggest Surprise? i didn't think i might be into extreme horror and neither did i fancy myself a sally rooney girlie so i was quite surprised that i liked her conversations with friends as well as the sluts by dennis cooper. will definitely read more from both authors next year. an even bigger surprise however was solitaire which i picked up on a whim after tori came out as ace in the last heartstopper volume. i have a complicated relationship with alice oseman's books mostly due to the fact that i'm years past the target demographic age but still feel compelled to read them bc it seems they're the only mainstream books with prominent aro/ace rep out there. so i didn't expect much and was astonished to discover that tori spring is like looking at a mirror reflection of my 18yo self - uncanny in a fun way. ig i shouldn't be so surprised this turned out to be my favorite oseman book since it's the one with the most mixed reviews lol people like to hate a depressed teenage girl😬

7. Favorite New Author? i have devoured doctrine of labyrinths and the cemeteries of amalo in february so now i can safely say sarah monette aka katherine addison is one of my favorite authors. each of her series has a different tone but there are consistent themes of real or magical disability and non amatonormative relationships which are explored in creative ways throughout her stories. i also like her worldbuilding quite a bit, especially the naming systems and fantasy terminology. i read more books by celeste ng as well as by vale aida - both are likely to become favorite authors too. in the latter's case - provided she writes a sequel to hostis. if not, i shall never forgive her😅

8. Newest Favorite Character? okay this is just impossible to narrow down! first of all, liathe from empire of the damned bc i want her Gender: wearing a porcelain mask and a splendid crimson coat, formally bowing to her adversaries before she beats the shit out of them with her blood sword, referring to herself by the royal we and hissing every time she speaks - character of all time material right there. behold my beautiful girl who has done nothing wrong!🥰

(official illustrations by bon orthwick)

secondly, elliot schafer bc he's the most obnoxious prickly boy in other lands and yet everyone wants him carnally lol. i adore his internal monologue - probably the best i've read in ya. his dialogue too tbh - his cutting repartee game is off the charts. honestly, he's just my favorite type of character: a mean bisexual gremlin who scolds people so creatively that they fall in love with him on the spot. what more can you ask.

finally, i have to mention that to my great surprise i liked mildmay more than felix harrowgate🤯 idk felix is this cunty traumatized savant which is a character archetype i'm used to liking so it was a safe bet. the opposites attract sidekick or love interest of such a character is usually not my cup of tea but mildmay is the exception that proves the rule ig. mostly it's bc of his unusual manner of speaking with those funny slang turns of phrase and just generally the contrast between his expressive internal monologue and his reserved demeanor. as a result, he easily rivals felix as the most interesting guy in the book. such excellent character work! taking my hat off to monette🎩

9. Newest Fictional Crush? i reserve this question for that special kind of obsession only a very particular character can inspire and this year it's alastor from hazbin hotel. which, i know, is not a book but i have read so much alastor fanfic in the last few months that he's basically like a book character to me at this point lol

💕Best Ship💕 elliot schafer and luke sunborn are very cute. i don't usually go for cute but here we are. especially after reading that short story from luke's pov i realized i just need more of these two together😌 felix and mildmay with their unholy magic bdsm union - need i say more? forbidden ship that watered my crops. last but not least, i'm currently trudging through the realm of the elderings bc of fitz and the fool and as of assassin's quest it finally started paying off: i'm being queerbaited and asking for more🥲

10. Book That Made You Cry? a thousand stitches is such a wholesome cozy book and it made me cry multiple times the way that a nostalgic movie from childhood can make you cry sometimes. especially the pug scene😭 the scenes of thara celehar walking the corn maze in the cemeteries of amalo made me cry a lot too. the symbolic depths addison is able to achieve with the labyrinth motif, the exploration of grief and forgiveness and letting go - unparalleled🤌

11. Book That Made You Happy? a thousand stitches made me happy! especially the pug scene!!😅 honestly it was like watching a disney movie back when they were good except also more relatable bc atwater's characters read neurodivergent and aspec-coded to me. love how she maintains that the kiss of true love that breaks the faerie curse doesn't have to be romantic. re-reading the three musketeers made me very happy too - it's one of my top 10 favorite books of all time and i was kinda nervous i might not like it as much as an adult. well the joke's on me bc now i can confirm it's one of the best books ever written😊 reading in other lands and big swiss cheered me up a lot too bc they're just so damn funney😄

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? haven't seen a lot of adaptations so ig dune part two wins by default. twas a fine movie. the wheel of time is also a nice show in my opinion but i didn't read the source material so idk how good it is adaptation-wise🤷‍♀️

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? my favorite ones are probably the ones i wrote about the three musketeers and in other lands but i think i also wrote some good critical/negative reviews of the mask of mirrors and of the vorkosigan books i read this year (1 2 3)

14. Most Beautiful Cover? behold the cover of the voyage of the basilisk!🤩 i want to frame it and hang it on my wall so that i can gaze at it adoringly and connect with my inner ishmael

(art by todd lockwood)

i also like this vintage romance cover of gaywyck and the uk covers of the farseer trilogy. it's a shame that the books are not as good as the covers led me to believe. especially in the case of gaywyck - this cover is Such A Vibe! but alas

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? in terms of series i want to finish the memoirs of lady trent, read one more witcher book, at least a couple vampire chronicles and then reread swordspoint and hopefully complete that series too. other fantasy i want to get to at last is fire & blood and the hands of the emperor - both are big and intimidating tho. for my classics challenge i need to finish a couple of tomes i'm reading slowly throughout the year and then also read the name of the rose. american psycho and mona awad's bunny have been on my tbr for ages - maybe i'll finally read them this fall. and i also want to finish reading kj charles' backlist bc the completionism drive is stronger than the fear of having no kj charles to read lol

i never do things a normal amount - every time i take up new media i go all in. so i had a musicals phase, a movies phase, a tv show phase - each lasting a few years and then i barely watched any of these once the phase ended. which is why i've been wondering if my current Book Phase is about to wrap up soon but, given how many books i managed to read since january, it sure doesn't seem that way. instead, it feels like the more i read the better i am at finding books that i'm likely to enjoy - which leads to more reading. and i cannot complain about that tbh😁📚

tagging @magpiefngrl @doh-rae-me @oliviermiraarmstrongs @fugitoidkry @pinkasrenzo @counterwiddershins @figuringthengsout @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @venndaai @weirdsociology @sixappleseeds @theodoradove

please tell me what you've been reading this year (if you want)! one can't have too many book recs👀

goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 2023

[thistlecatfics]

Okay, I want your opinion/meta on Sirius and Regulus' relationship. I I am so bad for them, BADD I ship them so much but it's impossible not to given the potential for angst, repressed sexual tension and shekspiarian tinged love that overflows their ship. I read your fanfic of them inspired by Taylor's song and it was very well done, I was very grateful to have found it, however I'm very interested to know your opinion given how unpopular this ship is.

Hello hello!

I started writing, and I realized I could write about these two forever whoops. This is going to a bit scattered, and hopefully I'll just keep adding to it.

Obvious content warnings for incest and underage! (though nothing is explicitly described here)

I don’t think this ship is unpopular at all! Looking at otp:true fics, the Sirius ships in order are: 1) Sirius/Remus, 2) Sirius/James, 3) Sirius/Snape, 4) Sirius/Hermione, 5) Sirius/Harry, 6) Sirius/Regulus. For Regulus it goes: 1) Regulus/James, 2) Regulus/Sirius. For an incest ship, that feels very high. 

They are so captivating! 

"I hated the lot of them: my parents with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal... my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them... that's him. He was younger than me, and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded."

My idiot brother, soft enough to believe them! “Soft enough!” What a way to describe your brother. Sirius can be so cruel in his words when he wants to be but calling him ‘soft’?? There’s so much tenderness there even when he’s trying to be defended about it. 

I have a number of different versions of them in my head, given that I’m not engaging in a critical reading of the text with regard to their relationship and more of the fact that I’m an incest survivor who has projected onto them as needed throughout the past twenty years. I like canon compliance and being rooted in the text, but I also recognize that most of my impressions of them are more about me and less about the text. 

I love many different versions, but I will say I cannot stand the newly popular fanon (especially in Jegulus circles) where Regulus wants to leave but nobly sacrifices himself to stay and be the heir so Sirius is able to leave the family. 

Regulus and Sirius love each other more than anything. Sirius builds into the core of his identity that he is Regulus’s protector. (When Regulus rejects that protection, he is crushed.) Regulus builds into the core of his identity that he and Sirius are one unit, a soul in two bodies. (When Sirius builds an autonomous identity outside of the family, he is crushed.) They are never quite able to forgive the other (because they are never quite able to forgive themselves for needing the other so much.) 

Here are a few contradictory thoughts and headcanons and ideas: 

Regulus is Walburga’s golden child, and it’s not uncommon for the golden child to be the one who is sexually abused while the scapegoat is physically and emotionally abused. The intimacy of sexual abuse as a marker of goodness and specialness within the abusive family system.  

Regulus is the initiator. The hypersexual kid. His mother uses him to make herself feel good, and Regulus wants to do the same for Sirius, because his mother loves him, and he loves Sirius, and that’s what you do when you love someone so much. 

And Sirius resists… just long enough that he can tell himself he resisted. 

And Sirius steals wine from the adults to share with Regulus so he has something to blame for giving into his desires again and again. 

As he gets older and spends more time with the Potters and in Gryffindor, his behavior with Regulus becomes something he associates with the awfulness of his family which he is trying desperately to reject. 

Regulus tries to initiate. Sirius is quite cruel in his rejection. 

(He returns to Regulus’s bedroom later that night, and he is cruel in how he embraces Regulus, but Regulus is thrilled to be used.) 

Sirius runs away, and Regulus can’t forgive him. Sirius has sex with random older men in Hogsmeade and keeps saying Regulus’s name. Regulus starves himself Seeker-skinny and that’s something to focus on, a disciplining of his desires. 

Then, maybe that’s it for them. Or maybe they come together in the castle by random happenstance or at a wedding of some politically neutral pureblood family, and they both carry too much hurt and a family legacy of cruelty, and they have sex to try to punish themselves and punish the other, and then that’s it for them, because Regulus dies and doesn’t tell Sirius when he defects. They each know that they love the other, but they can't believe that they themselves are loved.

Or maybe, Sirius is the initiator. He holds enough power over Regulus by age and by status of being the heir and by size that it can’t be considered anything other than abuse. Regulus can’t say no to Sirius. Sirius as bully, Sirius as predator. At Hogwarts, this behavior extends to Snape, and Regulus and Snape find each other as two boys who love/hate/desire/fear Sirius. 

Or maybe, the sexual intimacy feels like a natural evolution of their intimacy. Two very sheltered boys growing up in a scary house together which is entirely unsuitable for children. Their emotional worlds only consist of each other, and they sleep in each other’s beds, and the boundaries between one body and another feel impossibly thin. When Sirius is sorted into Gryffindor, it feels like the first tear in their interwoven body. Their sexual behavior towards each other exists as something innocent which can't survive in the real world of an impending war.

I'm feral for these two in every universe <3

My Regulus/Sirius fics: 

what if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? (1k, after Sirius runs away)

Duty (2k, Regulus Black character study)

My writing on incest and being an incest survivor:

Talking about Incest in Public

[longbobmckenzie]

THTH Season 2 Thoughts

Okay, it's been a while since I put together a thoughts post on THTH2, but I think one is warranted.

Anyone who likes LITG and hasn't played this yet needs to get on it. There's only 4 episodes left, so a 1-month Netflix subscription will be enough to play the whole thing, if you were waiting till it was almost done to play.

But... you might want to wait a bit longer till it's out in full, because you'll probably want to replay it - multiple times. The branching this season is SO much better than last season, like I literally just replayed a bunch of times trying to get onto a specific route. I'm thoroughly impressed. I had low expectations going in and was just hoping it wouldn't be as linear as Season 1, but Season 2 has blown me away.

There are only 4 OG LIs (compared to 7 last season), and I know a lot of people were annoyed at that, especially because the friend options are hotter (oh Santiago, what could have been), but it makes sense as there's more non-MC related storyline. And there are 4 bombshells, and at least 3 of them are LIs as well (not sure about the 4th yet because they come in next week but I have a feeling they will be).

As for the LIs, they're all great. Even if you don't like their looks, the personalities are so much more developed than S1 or the last few seasons of LITG. You get unique dialogue with every LI in just about every scene you get with them, you get to go on dates, you get to have intimate scenes (that are also unique from what I've been able to tell!!). You can even choose various interests for your MC and if they match up with a character, you get extra dialogue. The game is so replayable!

It also remembers your choices, so if you flirt with someone and then go for someone else, you'll get reactions from them. And your consequences can have actions! They may forgive you, but they may not.

I mentioned the branching, but once again, it's amazing. You're not forced into love triangles, but you can be messy af and date 3 people at once (just be careful, they might find out 🤭😏). The loyal routes are sooo good, there's a little drama on them that doesn't entirely make sense but the whole time, your LI is all for you. But if you're not loyal, those scenes can change! People will call you out for treating people wrong, or they might come asking you to give them another chance. You can break rules or keep them, and people will trust you accordingly. You can make a relationship official. There's probably an 'I love you' coming at some point, I'd think.

Oh, and there's no twin sister Amelia 🤭

Basically, it's got a lot of the things we've been asking for from Love Island, it's just a different reality show.

Oh, and there are no gem options or in-app purchases, just your monthly Netflix subscription. And when you replay, you can choose any episode to go back to, and there's a skip feature to skip to the next dialogue option or scene.

So if you can afford one month of Netflix, I definitely recommend giving it a try.