#especially at teenegers
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stanskissing · 3 days ago
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You're literally perfect omfg
Ford sees Stan getting face-fucked by a teacher behind the bleachers when he's going for his usual and gets even more pissed and takes it out on Stan, making him drink rubbing alcohol because 'he's not worth the diseases Ford could get from his dirty fucking mouth', says Stan's only gonna graduate because of his lip service, and if Stan even wants to think about Ford forgiving him he'll stop letting anyone but him in his mouth. Stan can't afford that - but Ford makes him give up on the idea of graduating. Then when he fails and Ford graduates like they both expected Ford still leaves, leaving Stan with nothing but a sore jaw, blue balls and a panic attack
call me perfect againand i',m bending you overANYWAYS. genuis. loving this au whatever youd call it. obsessed even. i lvoe ou.
first part !
fored guuilting staninto only sucking himoffYYEAAAAAGID . ANON. IM SO NOTFUCKIGN NORMAL BAOHTTHIS I KEEP COMING BACK TO READ IT AND MAKE SOMETHIGNF ROYU BUT I CRASH OUT EVERYT IME I LVOE EVI FORD I LOVEVILFORDIVLVOE. sorry. anyways. ahem.OokayGO!..................ghghnoohhsorry i came again okayGO!!!!!!!
ford knew that stan wasn't doing this with just him, obvioisly, how else would he have found out about his little hustle but when he actually. sees. him with another mans dick in his mouth. physical proof of it he gets so fucking mad. the rough treatment growing ever worse and ford is so distraught so much of it comes from the fucking agony that is not waking up with stan in his life and also how he will aways be fuming over stan ruining his future and they've been taufht that boys don't cry so his only outlet is spitting insults at his brother and throat fucking him till he can't tell what;s excess saliva and what's tears on his brothers face
and stan just takes it. all the verbal abuse and the hair pulling and the things ford makes him do bevause its ford, he ruined ford life, this is the least he can do to make up for it, even if that means sacrificing his only chance at a future just to take a little bit of the edge off of ford's harsh voice. he doesn't care that he can;t graduate, it doesn't bother him when his brother's six fingers are buried in his hair and all he can smell and taste and hear is ford evenif it hurts to breathe afterwards he doesnt care, because this way he stillhas ford, right?
WRONG! ford still leaves. he doesn't say goodbye, either, he never planned on staying. he knew stanley was to naive and desperate that he'd tell stan anything just to get the taste of another man's cock off his brothers tongue becuase he knew deep down he could not hanfle the though of stanley wanting anyone but him and even if he told himself he hated his brother, and thats why he was doing this, he still had to wipe tears from his eyes when he left jersey for good
and stan breaks when ford's gone, it nearly kills the guy. he laughs about it the night he realized ford wasn't coming back to him for anything anymore. he destroyed ford's chance at a decent future, and in return ford took his away. sigh. L bozo got played by his brother. ok bye. anon send me more asks i wanna crawl into ur ski n
part 3!
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norman-fucking-reedus · 8 months ago
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More GirlDaddy Daryl cause the love I have for him is actually not funny
I thought of a name a longgg time ago for his daughter that I think is super cute, It was gonna be Darylina but then I thought how Daryl would hate that THEN I thought how DARYL would make CAROL the grandma so obviously Carolina is the perfect name
She’d be called Lina for short, Carol as a joke and Carolina when shes in buttfuck trouble (which teenege Lina gets into a lot of but shes her mothers child)
I feel like she’d be a total badass, a good balance between Daryl badass and Y/n badass. She’s a hardcore daddys girl so by age ten she was already mastering the Dixon way of hunting.
“Ya got light steps naturally, let’s keep em tha’ way kiddo”
“Okay daddy!”
Lina would be more like Daryl as a kid, and I feel like Daryl was a rowdy kid.
She practically bounces off the walls from the assigned hours of too early in the morning to too late in the evening. Getting jumped on before he gets out of bed wasn’t exactly on Daryl’s bucket list (but he wouldn’t have it any other way)
Yes, she constantly climbs onto her father like a cat. No, there’s nothing he can do to get her squealing giggling frame off him. His only option is to accept his fate and play 21 questions directly over his shoulder.
“Lina! M’working, get offa me”
“Wha’cha workin’ on?”
“Stuff”
“Wha kinda stuff?”
“Adult stuff”
“Wha kinda adult stuff?”
Daryl uses her whenever he works on his bike, and his massive fingers can’t fit to reach something. She feels very important when her tiny fingers reach it, and she lets Daryl know how very useless he is.
“Daddy yer not gonna be able to fight if ya can’t fit yer fingers in stuff”
“Really? Damn. Good thing yer gonna protect me”
“No daddy, yer have to protect yerself because m’gon go protect mommy”
“Tha’s good idea, mommy can’t protect herself”
“But mommy can fit her fingers in stuff”
“Then why ya protectin’ her ‘nd not me?”
“Because I like mommy”
“I like mommy more”
Oh maybe I should mention they bicker over EVERYTHING. And guess who has to be the tiebreaker?
“Babe! Tell this rat tha peanut butter is indefinitely better than tha jelly!”
“Daryl she doesn’t even know either of those are and everyone knows jelly over butter”
“See mommy is always right!”
“Are ya cheatin’ one me??”
There’s a very strong love-hate relationship between him and teenage Lina, especially when hormones start to change and tempers flare.
Once again, Lina is a mini Daryl and Y/n, so when she shoots back during arguments, she’s aiming for the head.
“For tha last time, no. Too dangerous and m’not gon be able ta keep an eye on ya. End of discussion, quit pushin it”
“M’not a fucking kid anymore. I didn’t want ya keepin’ a damn eye on me in tha first place?!”
“Gettin real ballsy there little girl, I said wha’ I said”
“Ballsy? Little? Clearly I got more balls than ya since yer too fuckin’ scared to take me”
“Carolina. Wherever this is comin’ from, cut it the fuck out.”
“I’m gonna cut you the fuck out.”
“Scuse me?“
“Good luck on the battlefield when ya can’t even fuckin’ hear”
After every hard slam of her door, Daryl is left to stand in the deafening silence feeling like an utter failure.
Obviously, he gives her the time to decompress before going to apologize, this time with his crossbow in hand.
The door creaks slightly open before all the way, however there’s no little girl that comes running out into his arms. She stands tall in front of him, mirroring his expression of anxious discomfort.
“Ya stay close, no matter what. Understand?”
“Okay”
Daryl hands her the crossbow.
“Look- I know yer not a kid, but yer still my kid. Yer gon always be m’little girl an yer growin’ up scares tha livin’ shit out of me”
“Ya’ve killed people.. isn’t tha’ scary?”
“Wha’s scary tha’ if I didn’t kill ‘em they might’ve killed ya”
Lina hugs him tearfully.
“M’sorry fer arguin’ with ya”
“Nah, m’sorry fer not givin’ ya a chance”
。・:*:・゚★。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
(Daryl’s inner child definitely gets healed each time after apologizing and talking it out. He breathes so much better and just feels so much better AUGH my baby)
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annabelle-creart · 7 months ago
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Ok, more headcanons that are not headcanon but canon for the Life of Rescue Bots Au:
How the team treats children and why???
Boulder loves kids in general, so they are very paternal, actually I see both Salvage and Blurr as the fuck up teenegers who just needed love and attention JSKSJS, so Boulder would really love them till death, same with Sissi (Oc of mine) especially with Sissi because she's the tiniest and a cutie pie, even Boulder teach her how to draw, paint and talk sign language. Mostly because Boulder really want to be like his caring and loving tutor/dad (RIP), basically being nice makes them feel good.
Blades loves kids but not as the parental but as the older sibling, he would teach them about television, culture, celebrities, even jokes, at first Blurr and Blades were really alike because Blurr never take something seriously so they would laugh at Heatwave's back about whatever they just tought at the moment. And well, Blades was only child, and even if he had a lot of cousins always wanted a real sibling.
Chase will be in neutral land because he like kids but he just can't understand them, because Sissi, Salvage and Blurr find his topics boring, same with Cody and Frankie, all the kids will just talk about everything except what Chase just say because they are not into that, so Chase will just go into his own space and let the rest be, and well, being the autistic medium child was really weird experience.
HEATWAVE IS A FUCKING FATHER, I MEAN, HE'S LOVING AND CARING AND CAN'T SEE SOMEONE WITH AN AMOUNT OF YEARS LESS THAN HIM BECAUSE HE WILL START THINKING ABOUT HIS DAD/TUTOR AND HIS LITTLE SIBLING AND BECOME THE MOST PROTECTIVE AND CAREFUL BITCH OF ALL THE GALAXY AND MORE, JUST LOOK HOW HE TREATS CODY, KADE CAN BE DROWNING, IF CODY IS IN DANGER HE WILL GO AFTER CODY EVEN IF HE DON'T ADMIT HE HAS A DAD COMPLEX FOR BEING THE OLDER SIBLING AND HIS OLDER SIBLING BEING AN ASSHOLE WITH HIM. Also, he says that is not true but definitely Sissi, Salvage and Cody are his favorite kids, he protects and cares about Blurr but just can's stand her.
That's all, have a good night
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daddyslittlegirlofsammy · 6 months ago
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In defense of the older Gallagher's.
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Now that i finish the show i need to talk about these babies because in 2 months of watching the show i have seem a lot of criticism around especially Fiona and Lip so sit down and get comfy cause is a long post.
Let's start with the older Gallagher - Fiona being the oldest had to be the one to look after all the kids even if Frank and Monica weren't the way they were because now in my family was never like this but in all the american show's i've had watch it seems like the older kids take care of the youngers and i'm not saying is wrong but she literally raise the younger kids that includes Lip and Ian at one point, in the 3th season when she is trying to adopt the kids she said that Frank left her, Lip, and Ian alone in the cold at night and Ian was burning up with fever if it wasn't for her fast thinking of going to a hospital he could be dead, one thing that i read quite a lot when people say they don't like her is how careless she was and how she threw everything away and didn't care about anything like in this scene
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but what people seem's to forget is that she never had a happy childhood or play with dolls and such i mean c'mon her dolls were her brothers or got to be a teeneger that get to make mistakes and get away of it, she got out of school so she presumably didn't get to make friends aside from V who from what google say she is supposed to be mid-to-late 20s so not that close in age, one of the only times we see her having a bit of fun all by herself without the kids is in the 1th season when she goes with V to a club and even that gets interrupted because of something i don't really remember, yes she is not an angel, she made mistakes like leaving coke on the table, Liam finding it and almost dying from it my heart sank watching that scene, so in over all i know she is not an angel but i can't for the life of me judge Fiona for going crazy at the end of her run, she just want to have some of the fun she didn't get as a teeneger, i have read people saying that she should had take Liam with her when she got out of the house and honestly speaking she shouldn't, because she raised all those children, she shouldn't take not even one of them, she deserved them but they didn't deserve her (Carl deserve her, he was the only one that understood her sacrifices).
Now let's go to the reason why i start to watch the show (saw Jeremy on the bear and could't get enough of him) - Lip, when you first start to watch the show one of the first things you learn about him is that he is the smartest Gallagher out of the family in Frank's words: Lip, smart as a whip, straight A’s and the honor roll, boy’s definitely going somewhere, even his dad who is not the smartest in the show know's that Lip is a smart guy and want (in his own way) his son to go somewhere into the world and because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree he even though doesn't like to admit he just like Frank when it came to alcohol, i feel like he didn't drink as heavy as Frank but he did drink so and i don't like to say it so much so that he went to the AA, but i think his "downfall" was going university even tho he is smart, because there was no Fiona to "control" him in a way of like "don't drink, you know our genes", he was basically on his own to do whatever he wanted like in this scene
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he got to be the teeneger Fiona didn't got to be, to have a little bit of freedom from his family, when Liam almost died even though he had school, was working at shcool, he took Liam with him so Liam wouldn't be with Fiona because he didn't trust in her, you see him doing homework on the train with Liam in his lap sleeping, but he is not an angel oh no no my friends, he completely dropped out of college not just because of his family that needed him around the house but I blame a lot on that teacher of his, both wanted good things for each other but both were drunk but Lip wanted help, Youens on the other hand didn't even considered, he also treesome relationship with another teacher and her husband, in the show he is the one that get all the girls from the very first episode, Karen, Mandy and so on, having lots of pregnancy scares on the way and every one of those pregnancy you can see he is so ready to be a dad even tho the babies are usually not his but he is so ready to tackled the parenthood that he doesn't mind, once the girl says is his he is there from the start to finish, he love those babies, he want the babies because is he's, not Fiona's, not Ian's Debbie's Carl's or Liam's but his and his only, i feel like he wanted the stability of a "normal" family, like a mom and dad that work and don't drink they're faces off, a sister and maybe a brother but instead he is stuck with the Gallagher's which is not bad per se but just not what he really need's, i feel like if he had the right type of support both mentally but especially emotional he would have gone extremely far in life.
Now the youngest of the three - Ian, when you first met Ian he is what i like to call the forgotten child like my brother who is the middle child and it is usually forgotten because he is the quite one so quite that we forgot his birthday this year but that is because he is the quite one and so is Ian, he get the chance to keep the things that he dosen't want to share to himself, one of the things i found very astonishing is that in the first season alone you already knows that he is gay, having a case with the guy he works for, who is older than him and he has crush on Mickey, that is quite a lot for a 2011 show, when he goes to live the Milkovich's and i feel like is mostly duo of the situation in which they live (dark house, always dirty) his bipolarity breaks and Mickey not knowing what to do goes to the Gallagher house calling for Lip
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not getting Lip he take Debbie and Carl and as soon as they see Ian they know what it is because they have see the same behavior on Monica so much so that Debbie immediately go "Yeah he is bipolar", Mickey on the other hand and i feel this is largely because of the way he was brought up he is in shock like "how could Ian be like this when his family is so "normal"?" more normal than his family that is but he ultimately decide to just accept as part of the person he loves, Ian on the other hand doesn't because he want's to go to the militry and by a quick google search it reads - "Current mood disorders, such as major depression, bipolar disorder, or depressive disorder not otherwise specified, are disqualifying." so for him when he is hospitalized for his bipolar and because he stole Mickey's baby the army career is ruined, after his hospitalization when Monica pick's him up and he goes home, he finish's his relationship with Mickey going so far as to say "You can't change it, you can't fix me, 'cause I'm not broken, I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!" i feel like is because he was is scare to be like Monica and "ruin" Mickey's life, but Mickey on the other hand say's "It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit." which implies that Mickey doesn't care that Ian stole his baby or is bipolar he just want to be with his Ian and that what matter's to him, but he like his brothers is not an angel like c'mon he stole his brother's id to get into the army, stole a baby as previously stated, he almost went to mexico Mickey and at one point work at a club as a dancer but between all three of them i feel like he is most "normal" went to work at an ambulance station besides his bipolar diagnosis and was extremely happy, had longer relationships that Fiona and Lip, was gay Jesus at one point which i found funny and when to prison because of it, they all have they're faulds but that's what makes Shameless Shameless you know?
I don't really know how to finish this analysis(bc i never done one) but I loved show with all the love in my heart and its characters so much also if you read this until here i love you too<3<3
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atticmonsterstream · 1 year ago
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TL:DR Life has always been kinda terrible and for the first time ever, it's not and I am happy.
[TW in post, Talk of Suicide/Self Harm]
I'm not really sure why I am sharing this now, or what has compelled me to share this story, but I feel like it might make somebody smile, and even if this post is a bit of a thread, I always see people share negative or sad posts (Especially on Twitter) and I kinda wanna change that a little.
I grew up as a really sad kid, like I was full on depressed most of my entire life, I'd spend nights just randomly crying or just being miserable, stuck in my own head and thoughts all of the time, all the way until I was a teeneger, where I hit the lowest point of my life. I hit that rock bottom where you start to have thoughts that nobody ever should, and even acted on them a few times, and luckily survived, but always felt worse for it, until I found an escape online, and because of escapism, started to be somebody (Or something) else online. That's how AtticMonster came to be. It started with Second Life, and eventually became my entire presence online, a dumb black and green lizard and a way to not be myself anymore, and in the time that I have been Attic, I have discovered so much about myself by finding out what 'Attic' liked.
I didn't like men, of course not, cause that would be gay right? But Attic? He was free to do what he wanted, who could judge somebody that didn't exist. Wearing women's clothes? What am I trans? Don't be stupid. But Attic? He isnt even real, so it didn't matter what he wore. I know now that those things don't matter, but young me thought I'd be crucified for it. For so long I closed off my life to everything I felt about myself and split myself in two because I have always feared not being accepted, and had always played it safe, I was a bit of a shitty person in real life because I was playing the character of me, or what I perceived as me, and online I was who I wanted to be but felt like I couldn't be. Because of this, I let real me kind of fall to the side. I got in debt, I got fat, I didn't look after myself and left a huge mess for me to fix later Because I didn't plan on there being a later, and maybe escaped online a little too hard, but in the last few years, I've finally realised that online me and real me are the same person, of course. Part of obviously always knew this, and realising that I could be who I was online, but in person, really changed my life for the better. I learned about being non-binary from an old friend and Steven Universe, and so I became they/them and am infinitely more comfortable with it. I learned how to talk to people, to make friends, to rely on people because of the furry community, and for the first time I felt like I wasn't alone. I learned how to take charge of my life seeing so many friends fight battles so much vaster than my own, friends going through trans journeys, friends with abusive partners, people losing partners, people losing everything, and what was my problem? I don't even know anymore, I was just sad.
Fast forwards a few years to now, and I finally think I've managed to work things out. I have a great job, and I've paid off over half of all the debt I got myself into (and trust me, the number was sickeningly high, you don't wanna know).
I am more myself than ever, I am non binary, I am fucking weird, and I'm proud of it. I absolutely LOVE streaming, and I work hard every day to make it better and better, because there's nothing I'd love to do more focus all my time and energy into it (Curse you Bezoz for not paying us more!) But I think the most important thing is, for the first time in a long time:
I am happy.
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pabst-bravado · 2 years ago
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This whole thing is inspired in a post created by: @fizzigigsimmer
Hello world, about the people (antis) who got zero critical thinking skills and have to be spoon feed bc 'the writers say so', I got something to say.
They actually can think, and that's surprising, their behavior looks like a toddler that was bad educated by their parents. But anyway, they can not just think, they actually can create a new whole story for someone with NOTHING AT ALL.
A trait in common with antis that say "billy bad deserved to die boohoo" is, they love Eddie. Not hate to Eddie, I like him too much for the exact same reason I like billy. But, there's three interesting things about antis that evolve Eddie, that are at least, corious:
1. They erase billy completely like he never existed BUT, they put his whole personality on Eddie 🤠🤡
2. They try REALLY HARD make steddie something real with a total of 0.1 proves
3. They assume stuff for no reason.
³. Well, Steve parents and all. Everyone assume that they are like super abusive, and even they are not showed, people hate them. And like op said, they never home and they could be neglecting Steve, is an kind of abuse, but also, they could be just parents of a teeneger who were (and maybe still being) spoiled his whole life. Steve was a bully preppy boy, is not a possibility he just treat his parents badly? And yeah he changed, but changes takes time and convince your parents that you changed also takes time. Idk man, I'm just trying to say, we don't know them. They were never shown or talked about enough to take notes in a such fixed way. Also, Billy, they assume things about billy, that just, is not there. "yeah he probably would be homophobic, he would bully Eddie, he would kill the kids, he would, and if, if, if..." they don't even try to prove their points, or when they dare to make their brain work, is just a poor explanation.
Like, you can see, especially here and on that shittiest app ever created (tikt0k) that people created a whole tragic lore to Eddie. Is not a surprise that writers like to write sad stuff about their fav characters, but is not a fanfic, is not a theory, they claim what they say like Canon. I swear, I saw someone on tiktok showing "proves" that Eddie was depressed and suicidal. Yk, I just-
². I don't dislike the steddie thing, I think Steve need to kiss at least one man till the end of the season, also, I think they could make them kinda romantic too, but they didn't, nothing happened. Even Joe keery was asked about it, and even he didn't think they could be this one true perfect pairing.
¹. Do I need to bring up the fanarts of Eddie like a mechanic? Like a car lover? Do I need to?
And about ignoring things and "I belive that bc the writers says so", we saw mostly of the parents of everyone. I think we can say that we don't like Lonnie and Brenner for the same reason: They abused their kids.
Guess who parent, especially a dad, antis pretend not to see and maybe even say that his was right for everything that he did?
Antis HATE more Steve parents that were never shown, than Neil, that were shown several times doing awful stuff with his ex wife and his kid.
Also, a warning for you dumbass who love El but don't like billy: If u say that u don't like billy bc he's violent, he don't communicate, or any kind of shit like that, you don't like eleven, bc they are basically the same.
I already say this once and I'm gonna say again: everyday I wake up, see billy hargrove situation, and I make this everyone's problem.
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arcadeplayer-nickonz · 2 years ago
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i am both dreading and super excited for the last episode of mp100 that’s coming soon, obviously i’ll be sticking around longer, making fanart, reading fics and i definitely wanna collect and read the manga too! ✨
now please excuse me as i ramble a bit about the series before the ep drops :’]
starting this anime was eye opening for me, as an artist and a teeneger.
Artistically i never saw such unique style and animation before, sure i watched plenty of anime but Mob Psycho 100 was special, it made everything look so fun and interesting. the characters expressions always on point and movement so fluid, don’t me started on the gorgeous action sequences and camera shots, Mp100 made me love animation and art so much more.
On the sappier side of things, i recently turned 18 and now i’m watching the anime end- it’s bittersweet but i feel so lucky to have seen this show as it came out, i feel like i grew alongside the characters, especially Mob! this anime taught me things, about moving forward, expressing myself and what it means to be a good person.
This last season made me feel like i have so much more ahead of me and reassured me about things, especially with the first episode being about career paths. i’ve always been the type to go with the flow but sometimes i wonder if i made detrimental mistake with my previous choices or i’m gonna make one eventually, that i am already doomed before i even started- but seeing that episode as the start of the last season reassured me immensely and i am grateful for that.
Character wise? god i love the entire cast sm and i love seeing characters no matter how small role they played appear again on the side, like the couple from the first episode of season 1- not only that but they all feel human and not like one off stereotypes, the show is also funny but doesn’t hold back the punches when it gets serious.
I grew so fond Mob and Reigen, Ritsu and Teru, Dimple and Serizawa, Mezato, Emi, the Body Improvement Club/Telepathy Club, Former Claw Members, Shou and Suzuki- all of their character development and storylines, hell i can’t think of a character i hate truly, not even Mogami impressively.
i’ll stop for now because i’ll never shut up otherwise pfft- this season is another rollercoaster of emotions and i can’t wait to see the view at the top ya know? i’m gonna continue enjoying Mp100 even as the anime ends, and i hope to get to know more people who love this series as much as i do, you guys are great ^^
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sarag2007 · 1 year ago
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Are famous people good role-models for teenegers?
Role models. We all have had someone we admire or look up to, could be a family member we've known all our lives, a professional sports player we've never met but know all about them or a intagram influencer who we blindly follow.
It,s in the teen years where we are most driven to decide whats good or bad, our morals, what we are in this life and how we look at it. Its true that if a role model has good achivments, good personality, and more positve things this could only guide the teen to be a better person. I mean that, the teeneger, tends to be more a-like to the person they follow which could be or very good or very bad, it all depends on the person which you follow. All this goes back to one point, who's a good role model and who isn't?
A lot of teens admire a professional sport athlet, this because they are the best at something or because of how they deal with the sport in themself, this makes them great role models for kids, since they represent the meaning of hardwork to e better, which can be a valuable lesson not only to the sport, but for life.
Other people admire artist, designers, economic or even stock professionals, the problem is when they admire models or influencers which only got famous because of their looks, and normally, nothing else. When a teen admires a model or influencer it tends to be only because of how they look, and teenegers want to be more alike, this becomes a problem because unlike hardwork or personality wise, they want to become more physically alike, which, is almost imposible to achive, since all bodies are different, or faces. This admire to them only leeds them to being more obssesive with their looks or weight because its not how her or his role-model looks like. Even thought its mostly not the model or influencers fault, it can be if they allow and/or promote bad habits saying they are positive, to be skinnier or more like them, which is always lies and just offers a bad life condition.
In conclusion, this is why not all famous people are good role-models, since not because they are famous they will know whats good for you or how you can get better, especially if you dont know which achivments they have done or hard times they have passed to be in that admired place, or worse, if you know that it was only because of their looks, which they didn't even work for.
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theodorateixeira · 1 year ago
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The relevance of mental health in Gen Z
How does school affect the mental health of teenagers? This is an essential question to consider nowadays, under no circumstances should you believe that school has no relation with the emotional, psychological and social well-being.
The youth has always been part of society, but the term “youth” is just a formal definition for the “young but adults” part of society. As an example of this part of society, the youth culture of the 1960 is considered the hippie movement.
It is important to consider experiences when talking about mental health, as an example, when I was 8 years old a traumatized experience happened to me and my mom wanted to send me to therapy because she believed that would affect my mental health a lot in the future. Not only my grandparents though it was an absurd, they were defending the ideia that kids and teenegers can't have an unstable mental health,, but we know according to studies that isn’t true. 
The difference between the accepted concepts in different generations is giant, this happens because of the areas of dissimilarities. The top matters of dissent between aged people and juveniles, according to the Pew Research Study, are the use of technology and taste in music. Grandparents are likely to have noticed these distinctions in their grandchildren who are tweens, teens, and young adults.
Mental health is a very important topic, especially nowadays, because it affects your physical health too. Not for one moment should you belive that your mental health doesn't affects you that much, when you mental health is unstable, your grades get worse, it affects your routine, your wanting for leaving the bed every morning.
Now the gen Z is extremely affected with problems related to mental health, and this has a lot of relation with technology and pandemic. 30,9% of the gen z population do therapy. This generation is comfortable with technology, unsettlement, insecure, self aware, so treatment to mental health is very present to this generation. 
Even nowadays, a large part of the population believes that the amount of tasks and tests that are given by school have no impact on teenagers. However, several studies have already been carried out that prove the negative impact this causes on mental health. As an example, researchers from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) found that more than 1 in 3 high school students has experienced poor mental health over the past few years. Additionally, nearly half of students report persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.
Nowadays a high percentage of teenagers have ADHD, and the school has no support for
that kind of mental disease. Many schools lack the proper understanding of ADHD and its effects on students. Teachers and staff may not receive adequate training on recognizing the symptoms of ADHD, adapting teaching strategies, and providing necessary accommodations. ADHD is often together with other mental health issues such as anxiety and
depression. Schools that lack adequate mental health services may fail to identify and address these additional challenges.
Waking up too early causes lack of motivation and health and mental problems. Early school start times that lead to inadequate sleep can have a range of
detrimental effects on students' motivation, mental and physical health, engagemer safety, and long-term learning capabilities. Schools that take into consideration the sleep needs of their students and their schedules accordingly can positively impact students' overall well-being and academic success.
In conclusion, schools play a significant role in the mental health of teenagers, with the impact extending to their emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Generational differences, technology, and the pandemic further complicate these challenges, highlighting the need for comprehensive support, including addressing issues like ADHD and sleep patterns, to ensure the overall well-being and academic success of students.
Theodora Teixeira
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mydailyupdates1 · 2 years ago
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For J. D. Salinger
Dear J. D. Salinger, 
In class they made us read your novel “Catcher In The Rye''. It is a very complex and boring story for teenegers, as it has complicated topics and themes for young people to understand. Im sorry Salinger, my classmates and me are really stupid. There are topics that are more directed to adults. Also the way the novel is written makes it very complex to understand it at first. Especially if we talk about the stream of consciousness. Sorry again bro, teenegers nowadays are very dumb. Incluidng me ofcourse. Likewise, the protagonist, Holden, has multiple mental health problems and mental disorders, JA he is like me. Nah it is a joke. But the point is that this novel is not made for us. We need 5 teen brains combined to understand the story. Forgive me, my friend. 
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rayslittlekitten · 3 years ago
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Pretty Face
“You Got This” Masterlist
A/N: Jax is creeping back. I wanted to work on something completely different (in the same universe), but this went a whole different direction so I followed it and wasn't fit for what I wanted originally. I kept this though because I liked where it went. It's short, but It's a cute little moment between "Joyride" and "Eggs, Milk and Sass".
Rating: T
Word Count: 777
Pairing: Teenager!Jax Teller x Teeneger F! Reader/OFC
Plot: Jax takes a small break to annoy you.
Contains: fluff
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You're sitting in the open garage at Teller-Morrow, taking your time counting parts for inventory. It's the easiest and most boring task, but you were assigned to it even though you are capable of doing simple services like oil changes, but they leave that up to the actual mechanics and sometimes Jax and Opie. You and Jax typically sneak away to avoid work, but the club is away so TM could use the extra hands. You toss a spark plug into the basket designated for it and let out a heavy sigh. At least you're out of the scorching sun.
You look out and see Jax and Opie working topless with the top half of their mechanic jumpsuit tied around their lower waists. Sweat is dripping down their faces and torsos. Of course, your eyes are focused on Jax and not your brother. You watch as Jax is tightening or loosening something on the bike they're working on with a wrench. Muscles on his forearm and bicep flex with each crank. Jax flips his shoulder length blonde hair back out of his face and looks over in your direction. You look away immediately, nervous that you've been caught. You pretend to continue to work, recounting the spark plugs. A few moments later, you try to inconspicuously look towards Jax and internally panic when you see him walking towards you while swiping a rag over his face.
"Hey, squirt." Jax ruffles the top of your hair.
"Dick." You swat his hand away and fix your hair.
"You got a hair tie I can borrow?" he asks, pointing to the one around your wrist.
"I need this for myself," you shrug and then pull your hair back to tie it while trying to avoid looking at his damp naked chest.
"I see how it is," Jax smirks. He pulls up a nearby metal folding chair and straddles it, leaning forward and resting his arms on the back of the seat.
You continue to pretend to work and as he lights a cigarette. Even though he's not of age yet, the Prince of Charming gets away with doing whatever he wants most times, especially when Gemma isn't around to keep him in line. You glance over at him as he pulls a drag while looking at you.
"What?" you ask.
"Nothing," Jax shakes his head. "I like it when your hair is up. It doesn't cover your face." He leans in and reaches over to push back a loose strand hanging by your eye.
You feel heat rising to your face.
"You're dressed pretty today. What's the occasion? Got a date?" Jax asks, taking your bottle of water that's sitting next to you while eyeing you up and down.
You typically dress very casually, wearing jeans or shorts with a t-shirt or tank top with sneakers, especially while working, but you felt particularly cute this morning so you put on a plaid skirt with a plain baby tee. You've noticed the way how some of your female classmates and the girls you've seen Jax with dressed and thought you might do the same. You're still learning to navigate puberty and your changing body.
"I... just wanted to look pretty," you answer as you watch him chug all the water, focusing on his Adam's Apple moving up and down.
"Well, that's silly," Jax chuckles, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"Why is it silly?" you frown, sitting up and straightening out your back.
Jax exhales the smoke from the side of his mouth and leans into your face. You swallow hard watching his face coming closer to yours.
"Because you always look pretty." Jax playfully bops the top of your head with the empty bottle.
"Stop, Jackson!" You giggle and swat his hand.
"Come on, Jax! Let's finish this shit!" Opie shouts. He swipes the back of his hand across his forehead.
"Yeah, get back to work, Teller," you laugh.
You watch as Jax gets up from his seat and towers over you. He takes one last drag of his cigarette and flicks it away. As he then reaches for your face, you tense up and hold your breath. His hand then goes past your ear and behind your head. Your ponytail suddenly comes loose as you feel the hairband get tugged.
"I'll return this at the end of the day, pretty face." Jax ruffles the top of your hair and then pushes it to one side. As he walks off, you watch his back muscles while he pulls his hair back to tie it up into a small blonde bun. He picks up a wrench and goes back to work.
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eclipsetickles · 3 years ago
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"The Impossible Task" - (Platonic OdaChuZai)
Ehe happy Halloween everyone! Enjoy <333
Word count: 1850
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“So, you understand your assignment… Right, Sakunosuke?”
“Yes, boss. I’ll do my best.”
“Perfect! They’ve been at each other's throats non-stop lately. Of course I don’t mind my employees having a little fight, I actually consider it rather entertaining, but these two can’t go even a few seconds without trying to kill the other. I’d rather not lose any executives.” Mori lamented in a fairly tired tone, clearly very tired from witnessing the constant arguing and roughhousing between Dazai and Chuuya.
Oda stood in front of Mori, shifting weight from foot to foot as he waited for Mori to dismiss him, though it seemed said boss had become distracted by Elise, who had been lurking behind him the entire time, attempting to scare the older man. Unfortunately she had only succeeded in making Mori fuss over her and how cute she looked in her Halloween costume, and as a result forgot Oda existed.
“Boss.” Oda hesitantly called out to Mori, causing him to jump a little as he looked towards the tall redheaded man before him.
“Ah yes. My apologies. You’re free to go. Good luck on your task.” The moment he finished speaking, his attention was back on Elise. Barely spared even a moment to dismiss Oda properly. The mafioso in question didn’t mind too much however. Really, it was a huge privilege to be able to take on a task involving both Chuuya and Dazai considering the fact that he was the lowest-ranking mafia member.
Oda bowed in Mori’s direction (despite the other not seeing it) and swiftly turned around, exiting the spacious room through the large doors, and into the long, winding hallway filled with guards. Really, Oda was thankful to be able to leave such a tense feeling place. Unfortunately, the assignment awaiting him just outside the doors of the Port Mafia building was much more daunting. Let’s just say that the pair known as “double black” was an incredibly powerful duo who needed each other like curry needed rice, but it was basically impossible for them to get along in a setting where their lives weren’t at stake. They were night and day, sugar and salt, hot and cold, pretty much polar opposites. Oda had been trying long before Mori took notice (let’s just say the “get along shirt” was a complete failure), and frankly he was running out of ideas. He had just one left though. How could anyone be angry or fight while at an amusement park? Especially a Halloween one!
-
“OH FUCK OFF DAZAI! WHY DON’T YOU FIND A NICE BRIDGE TO JUMP OFF OF?”
“This is an amusement park, idiot. Last time I checked there were none.”
“AS SOON AS WE GET OUTTA HERE, I’LL PERSONALLY FIND YOU ONE!”
Right, should have known that basically nothing would stop those two. The kids really loved amusement parks, but they were just orphaned children, not angry mafioso ability users. He even bought them snacks thinking it would at least shut them up for 5 minutes, but unfortunately he wasn’t that lucky. At this point Oda was ready to report back to the PM and tell Mori his mission was impossible (and deal with the consequences of failing, which definitely weren’t pretty). That was until their argument took a turn.
“So pathetic! God. I bet you wouldn’t even be able to make it halfway through that haunted house over there!” Dazai taunted, a confident smirk adorning his face (the same smirk that Chuuya was this close to shattering by sending a flying kick to his face).
“HAH?! WHAT’D YOU SAY, JACKASS? I BET 10 BUCKS THAT I CAN GO THROUGH THERE WITHOUT EVEN FLINCHING!” Chuuya yelled at the brunette as if he wasn’t standing 3 feet in front of him.
“Make it 15 and you’ve got a deal.” It seemed like Dazai was very entertained by this turn of events and accepted the challenge with open arms.
“Deal!! I’ll show you, asshole! I’m a man, I can handle a stupid gimmick with a bunch of teenegers dressed up as zombies and shit. Come on!” Oda looked up from the ground and stood up to join them as they made their way over to the line for the haunted house that’s now become more of a challenge than entertainment.
“Ick… They sure make the cobwebs in this place realistic. Either that or they don’t clean it very often. That’s pretty scary in itself.” Dazai muttered as he stepped through the doors with the other two a step or two behind.
“If you find that scary, I’ll win this bet easily! Right, Oda?” Chuuya gloated, looking up at the relaxed man for validation. Not wanting to stir up another fight, Oda answered as carefully as possible.
“Mm… We’ll see.” The tallest of the three replied casually as they made their way into the labyrinth of flashing lights and decorations within the building. Even just a few steps in, Oda noticed both Dazai and Chuuya tense up a little. Were they scared already?
Cutting off Oda’s thoughts, a chainsaw wielding clown jumped out in front of them, revving up what was very clearly a fake weapon. Despite that, the two screamed out loud in unison, and Oda had to hold Chuuya back from attacking said clown.
As they ventured further in, even more actors in costume appeared, some reaching out from behind bars of a cage, some screaming in their faces, and even a few trying to grab their ankles. Really, Oda thought it was all rather entertaining… That was until he noticed the two practically clinging to him absolutely trembling. That wasn’t part of the plan. They’re mafiosos who’ve seen countless unspeakable things and have probably participated in such, so who knew they would be so shaken by this?
Frowning a bit in concern, Oda placed a hand on their shoulders and noticed them softly flinch. Maybe Chuuya and Dazai were more similar than he thought.
“Are you guys okay? You look scared.” He questioned, taken a bit aback by the speed at which Chuuya’s head whipped upward to look him dead in the eye.
“I’M NOT SCARED!! I just… eh…” Whatever half assed excuse Chuuya had ended up disappearing as his words trailed off. Oda took this as an indication he shouldn’t bug Chuuya for an answer.
“Dazai?” The brunette looked towards the ground the moment his name was mentioned, looking as if he couldn’t handle too much more of the constant jumpscares. Oda took a moment to look around while holding onto both of them to provide at least a little comfort. Damn… No exits other than the one at the very end. They were too far in to turn around and leave out the entrance, and they would have to endure everything they passed all over again. Protective dad mode took over Oda’s mind and he came up with an idea to get them out without stressing them out further.
“Alright. Close your eyes. I’ll guide you guys through the rest of this. We’ll be out soon, okay?” He spoke the instructions to them gently, and reluctantly, both Dazai and Chuuya clinged onto one of Oda’s arms and closed their eyes, following his lead.
This seemed to help a bit, but the loud noises and screaming still seemed to affect them. There was no way to keep them from hearing the scares around them… but maybe distraction would help-
Moving his hands to their sides, he began gingerly wiggling his fingers against them and the response was instant. Both mafiosos let out a squeal of surprise and descended into giggling fits. The tickling wasn’t intense enough that they would have a difficult time walking, but just enough of a sensation to make them squirm a bit and make them forget about their spooky surroundings.
“O-ODASAKUHU! Hehey!!” Dazai protested through bubbly laughter, holding onto Oda’s arm a little tighter as if it would save him. He was very wrong.
Chuuya however didn’t say a word. Honestly he was too busy trying to softly smack away Oda’s hand with a huge sweet smile adorning his once frightened features. Hm… So it was working! Letting out a chuckle at their reactions, he moved to their stomachs, eliciting a snort from Chuuya, who was trying to find a way to escape Oda’s playful attack without opening his eyes or letting go of his arm.
“OI..!! CUHUT THIS OHOUT! GET DUMBAHAHAS OVER THERE, NOT MEHEHE!” Chuuya complained in a half assed manner. It was clear he wasn’t too bothered though considering the fact he could have knocked Oda out for this effortlessly but chose to endure it.
The scare actors in the general area all seemed to be a bit stunned by the sudden bursts of bubbly laughter, and even a few broke character to go take a look at what was happening. Oda paid them no mind, and the two giggly mafia men likely didn’t even notice. Really they were too focused on trying to continue walking through the scribbly sensations.
Though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, Oda actually thought the way the two were laughing in such a carefree manner was really adorable. They were very complicated people, hardened and desensitized to violence and so many other atrocious things, yet one thing that could somehow slip past their tough defenses was a little tickle fight (though it seemed like less of a fight and more a one-sided attack. Practically the same thing in his mind).
“Odaaaa no fahahair!!” Dazai whined. Glancing down at him with ever monotone eyes, Oda decided that if he can complain, he likely wasn’t getting the right spot. Seamlessly he switched to Dazai’s upper ribs and his laughter jumped an octave or two. Heh… That’s a little better.
“Mafia executives that can’t handle some tickling… Man. The boss would probably love to know about this…” Oda mused aloud, causing a sudden flood of protests from the two clinging onto his arms, bringing a soft smile to his face.
Easing up on them a little, both Chuuya and Dazai quieted down a bit and had a moment to breathe. Dazai slowly opened his eyes, taken aback by the brightness of the sun. somehow, through all that chaos, they’d made it through!
“Chuuya… You can open your eyes now.” Letting out a noise of confusion, Chuuya did as he was told, only to have the exact same reaction as Dazai. Suppose those two really are similar.
“Oh- Eh. We’re out. Good. Smelled like plastic in there…” Chuuya mumbled as a way to hide the fact that he was actually quite scared by said place. Nice save, Chuuya.
“Oh don’t give us that. You were scared shitless! You were this close to crying the whole time!” Dazai mocked, making various unflattering faces at Chuuya, who squawked in annoyance and denied it all. The absurdity of the situation caused the two to break and laugh at the whole thing together like friends would. Oda was a little taken aback, but smiled regardless. Maybe this wasn’t an impossible task after all.
“So, about that 15 dollars-”
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thatonebasicfan · 2 years ago
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Banning abortions just make it worse for women.
What If she was raped? Nobady should be forced to cary they rapeist's child. This can traumatiz them more, and the rapeist can even take them to court for parental right for the child.
What about 12 year old little girls, who have been raped? The pregnancy, and giving birth could traumatiz them even more, and even kill her.
What about teenege pregnancy? This can ruin her life. She probably will be forced out of school, and never get to graduat. Before you say that I made this up, no. Where I live most girls who get pregnant and not abort it are leaving, and forced out of school by the parents, teacher, or how the people treating them. And most of them who do never can achive they dreams, and they are uncaplebol to find a proper job, because mature exem, which you can get if you are graduated, are needed for every job. And the ones who stay in school are have les time to learn, and this affectecs they greads significently, and if the father is helping, then both of them's greads will get lover. Which can mean that she, or they (both the girl, and the boy) greads are not good enough to go to write they the mature exemps, which means they will do it later, and have to repet the class the next year.
And what about woman who don't want children, who don't want to be mothers? Not everyone dreams, about having a family.
And what about woman who was told by doctors that she have to have an abortion? There are woman who can't givae birth, even if they can get pregnant. Abortion is needed especially if giving birth means eather the death of the child, or the death of the mother, or the death of both of them. What about them?
And before you say anything about adoption, one the adoption sistem is in bad conditions, people who work there physicaly abuse, sometimes even sexualy abuse child, and children sometimes even dinied food, and nobady does anything. I know this because I know two of them. One of themluckly got adopted, but the other don't, and he don't really got any education, and were raped there multiple times. Most children will grow up in there, and never will be adupted. Pro life, and careing about the child, but just until it's born, after it's born it doesn't matter what happands to them.
And one last thing. Banning abortion, don't stop abortions, it only stopes safe abortions.
(sorry for the grammar, and spelling mistakes English is not my first language, and I have problems with writing.)
Ok, so a LOT of the problems that you have listed hear are because of abortion. Once schools realized that teens might just end up getting an abortion, they probably made little effort to help the girl to still graduate and earn the credits that she needs.
Same thing goes with the adoption issue, I know that there are a lot of stories where children are abused by their adopted parents. But the solution is not abortion, the solution is reforming the adoption and foster care system.
But abortion to these two problems is a band-aid solution to a problem that is more of a large wound, that needs much more care than a band aid.
And the one about 12 year old girls getting raped and conceiving, and where doctors tell women to get abortions, just about every pro life person agrees that if it's to save the mother's life, then it's fine. But, often times, the procedure for a lot of the life saving treatments for like, and ectopic pregnancy is not an abortion, though there might be other cases where abortion would be the correct procedure, that I'm not aware of. And as for a 10-12 year old girl getting pregnant by rape, I don't think that there is any perfect solution to that, but if possible, an early delivery might save both their lives, because some fetuses can survive at 25 weeks outside the womb.
As for rape, it is a VERY small amount of women who get abortions for rape. But the child shouldn't need to pay for it's father's crimes. And as for the rapist trying to get custody of the child later on, I think that would be HIGHLY unlikely, because I'm pretty sure that violating a law like that would guarantee that he never meets the child. Plus, I have a hard time believing that any judge or jury siding with a rapist trying to gain custody of a child.
And for the last one, where a woman may just not want kids, the women just doesn't need to have sex, or use contraception and use the rhythm method.
(Also, I understood what you were trying to say, and English is hard, so just keep working on it!)
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babylonfelldown · 4 years ago
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klamille headcannons
yeah y'know whats up, I CANT FUCKING SLEEP so here's some klamille for me and you
as stablished, Klaus is romantic, he's a teenege boy with a crush when it comes to Cami
what we don't talk enough about is
camille
cami is SO in love with him
like
he's a thousand years old and she's still so protective of him?
and he's like "i would destroy the fucking world for you, please never leave me or I will be devasted"
and this is for like, ANYTHING
she brings him some drink and he already melts
wait
this was supposed to be about cami loving him
ok
she loves his hair? like, sometimes he just lays down with his head on her lap and Cami starts stroking his hair without hesitantion
she doesn't even notices, its a reflex by now
cami loves going out with him, first of all, she loves going out in general
but Cami really likes when they walk around holding hands
it's just
she loves it ok? I JUST KNOW
(and Klaus loves it too, especially bc it's a constant reminder that she is there, for real, with him)
ok... hear me out, but
cami is a bit touch starved
i know, i know
i also prefer when the guy is touch starved (wich klaus is, but this post is about cami)
anyway
i headcannon that her family wasn't really well structured
so i think she never had a good relationship with her parents
and even tho her and sean were twins, I think she would act more like the older sister
so, she does't get alot of affection
and klaus is all handsy with her, but he's also really sweet
cami likes especially when he cups her face, and when they cludde she likes when he wraps his arms all around her
when he puts his arms around her waist, she always gets butterflyes
anyway
this is all i have for now...
sorry for any spelling mystakes, english is not my first language
kay, bye
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thetimelordbatgirl · 3 years ago
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I always felt like apple was an interesting character tbh?? Especially in the books where they do at least try to give her more sympathetic reasons behind her actions ake being pressured into being perfect and almost dying as a kid which gave her a fear of death and unpredictability. i apologize for coming across as an apologist, 100% certain things apple said and did where fucked up Like maybe she had half a point before the book cerimony where nobody knew for sure what would happen, but later?? Than again everything involving the book of Destiny is confusing. The only thing i will honestly defend her on is when she accidentally freed the evil queen, cuz a whole grown adult was manipulating and pushing on the inseritues of a teeneger. But i do feel like they should have made the whole "almost dying as kid" thing canon in the show as well so at least she wouldn't have come across so much like a spoiled brat. Like maybe she had half a point before the book cerimony where nobody knew for sure what would happen, but later?? Than again everything involving the book of Destiny is confusing.
Ngl, I didn't enjoy Apple in first book at least. Like, even if I do feel bad she almost drowned, she pretty much still intended to make Raven sign if Raven doesn't listen to Apple. But I don't recall hating her in the books after that so like....(And I can't tell what she was like in the MH crossover book because I'm in the UK and I don't think we got that book because sites list it as US only....)
Honestly, they never resolved the destiny thing properly. Like, they kind of rushed it in Way to Wonderland and....then moved onto the girl power stuff fully when rebranding the franchise and even changing the theme song....which was weird as the franchise was already doing fine with its female character writing, but like.... And as for Apple and why she kept doing it even after Legacy Day....well, the franchise liked to constantly reverse that development whenever they could really, Dragon Games being the biggest example, given while at first it looked to be Apple trying to please her mom, they kind of just made it hard to tell what caused Apple's actions in the end: Evil Queen, Snow White or Apple herself. Like, I do agree, the Evil Queen stuff was gross so its weird this franchise kept trying to act like she and Raven were still fine by Epic Winter time (seriously, was animating the Good King as her parent attending hard?), but like, I dunno....I just found it hard with Apple in Dragon Games as well.
I'm not sure really if the book flashback would have helped much, given I dunno....a-part of me would feel bad for her if they had done a moment of her addressing that part of her childhood, but at the same time, I dunno how that impacts how she treats others (Raven mainly) when they don't want to sign the book.
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delightsan · 4 years ago
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FLAME (II) | CS
⁕ genre: fuck boy!san, bad boy!au, college!au, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers
⁕ pairings: choi san x fem!reader
⁕ words: 6.4k
⁕ description: keeping the title of being the best student on campus isn’t easy for you, especially when your mind was occupied only by him and his annoying smirk, the popular bad boy who once decided to sets on fire your heart without anybody’s permission
⁕ warnings: explicit language, suggestive remarks, smoking & alcohol
read the prologue and the chapter one
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The sociable cafeteria is filled with people whose names you can't remember, but their curious stares welcome you with affectionate embrace, as soon you enter the huge space of the room. The embrace you crave, since San planted the promising rays of hope in your heart, it's devastating to you, because the only concern which matters are his gleaming eyes, full of chestnut color and mischievous spark. His presence is absolutely breathtaking. You're indeed a fragile prisoner of his burning touch, and the lustful gaze, soon as you would gentle rub affectionate circles on his arms tattoo's beauty, the night before, where the only sound was your rapid heartbeats and heavy breathing. He left the blurry trace of passionate kisses down your pale neck to remind you about his intentions, when you see the purple marks of his unspoken words.
Choi San's eerie relationship with you are the cause of your ruthless nights, but you will gladly suffer for him if it meant he would hold your hand in his warm palms, and smooch your face in kisses.
Rushing at the end of long line to the bufet, you scan the surroundings in a haste glance to spot his glowing figure, seated between the rest of his friends, it's utterly mindblowing, the way your stomach churns with pleasant anxiety when his starry eyes meet with yours. San's dazzling existence throws you into the vortex of emotions, where the love is struggling against the malicious demons of your fears. He's dressed in his usual clothes, the color black highlights his sharp facial features, and the used martens on his feet shows his rebellious side. 
You bow in grateful at the elderly woman, who give you the meal of the day, thanking her for the extra portion of rice, as your stomach grumble at the lack of the daily food intake. The kindly gesture make you smile in delight, while the other students talk feverishly about the last soccer game in which the boy, whose angelic voice is like the sweetest honey, Jongho won a golden tropheum for the school's team. He becomes a hero in the eyes of the thousands of people and Hongjoong's, who is proud to call himself a father figure. ATEEZ have a lot of outstanding achievements on their side, they are a gang of gifted kids with deadly stares and auras, for example Hongjoong godly hands are great at crafting, he is a owner of his own fashion brand, called "star1117", in which "Mars" is a main model, and that's your beloved saviour Seonghwa. Yunho's long to heaven legs are born to dance on the big scene, along with Wooyoung's powerful movements and San's acute technique. Yeosang is the expanded mind behind the drones, Mingi is a soundcloud rapper, who still takes baby steps in his career, but is already famous on the campus, and Jongho is a star of the football team.
The pretty girl, who would wave in excitment at seeing your presence in the entrance to the cafeteria, before your spirit had lost his way on earth, to land in the gates of hell by San's intoxicating appearance is your bestfriend. Her name is Yeji and she is a lovable person, the definition of your half missing, with a adventurous heart and daring smile, catching the attention for her stunning looks in both genders, but the confessions of the admirers are always denied in order to search for her unrequited love in Wooyoung's sparkling eyes. You know she deserves someone better than a mere boy, but Wooyoung is a perfect example of being out of her league. The hands contaminated with sins of his could never reach her, as you protect her through the life, like a guardian angel, who failed himself agaisnt the bright side of good, as he signed a pact with the devil, to let his heart rotts in hell.
She is excessively pure to be in a dark place, the same as you, where you are fighting with your sins, doubouting the feelings of innermost love and the power of God. To be honest, you had grown to have a loads of faith in every existence, which drifts in the subconsciousness of your mind, while trying to defeat the ghosts of cruel prejudice, as you want to believe in his sincere words and his innocence. Perhaps Wooyoung's adorable giggles and goofy smiles, that creates with care his mesmerizing crescents eyes, which are underlined with smoky eyeliner, aren't plaugued with demons, maybe his easy going aura isn't fraud in lies, maybe he is way more different than you think.
Truth to be told, you shouldn't ponder over it and you shouldn't be hanging around San or his friends as much as you do, but you can't help the desire to.
You greet Yeji with a soft grin, muttering a faintly "hi", while taking the free spot beside her at the wooden table, at which she beams at you in delighment, happy about your your presence, but soon her strong gaze gets bored of you, and wanders towards the source of her happiness. "What's so interesting, hm?" you say, acting dumbfounded at her behaviour to ignore the pain inside your chest, the betrayl it is. She's long lost to the paradise of him, Jung Wooyoung is the reason behind her loving stares and fast heartbeat, you failed miserably at being her guardian angel, but maybe that's what the destiny write in their galaxies.
Yeji bites her plump lips in anxiety, curling a lock of her black hair between fingers, the feeling of infatuation on her face, and you sigh, while she spares you a glance, it's filled with deep affection, and a smile ghosts over her cherry lips. The view of the boys belonging to the ATEEZ came into your frame, as she bumps her head towards them, where all of them eating their lunch in peace, and her smile is reciprocated by Wooyoung. "Oh, Wooyoung? Is something there between you and him?"
"No, well not yet of course, but maybe soon." Yeji says with a sorrow, it's obvious, groaning in annoyance like a lovestruck teeneger, who can't decide which kind of dress would be the best option for a memorable date with a crush, a cute ribbon dress or sexy tight dress. The mischievous cupidin, who travels the world in search of his miserable victims, not only hit you both with his influential arrow, making you a fools for his entertainment at your clumsy attempts to feel being beloved.
She is dedicateted to the idea of Jung Wooyoung being selected by gods to be her first and last love, but he likes to deny the allegations of being the leading light in her life, even if she deeply cares for him and treasure the feeling of dedication to him.
You want to beliefe it also, maybe some souls are meant to be together, bound by the red thread of destiny to the end of their fulfilled life.
The obnoxious sight of the stupid girls at the left side of the room, who would swoon over the holy eightly of boys, in which Wooyoung's high pitched laugh is heard everywhere, because San's another corny joke about big dicks is hilarious to him, is a painful sight for Yeji. Her significant other is looking at the stranger blonde with a lewd eyes, the picture is what trashes violently your heart and your lungs feel as if on fire, you pity your besfriend, she doesn't deserve the treatment of feeding up with his false hope. Jung Wooyoung likes to play a sick roulette with her genuine feelings towards him, doesn't give a single fuck about the consequences of his sinful actions.
Choi San does seem to care, though, because he catches your furious stare, which could burn the holes in Wooyoung's shaky with laughter figure, the devil itself apologize for the behaviour of his beloved friend. Bad habits are tough to break, blinded by a hand of foolish lust in frail attempts to take the boredom out by being an asshole, as the bitter aftertaste of forbidden fruit never tasted so good. You smile softly to him, to reassure him it's not his fault, because he can't control the actions of the other person. Rubbing small circles on the back of your friend to lift her ruined mood, while Seonghwa notices your gaze filled with adoration towards San, he smirks in a mockery, and you make a disgusted face, as Hongjoong giggles like a sweet kid at your exchanges, but you throw at Seonghwa a middle finger, at which he gaps offended. San's concerned face is what make you bashful of your previous poor actions, as he narrow his cat like eyes at you in order to search for a cause of your outbusrt.
Fuck, Seonghwa you are dead to me.
You hide shyly behind Yeji's small shoulders like a scaredy cat, who was caught at scratching the favourite furniture of his owners, the feeling of shame is creeping at your face, while avoiding his puzzling glare. "So he likes me, huh?" you whisper in a hush, trying to convince yourself once again about the sincerity of those significant words, which sound like sweet nothings in a romantic fairytale in your mouth. The tight grip of yours at the girl's pink blouse is a definition of your tiresome doubts, you wish to the vivid stars to save you from oppression of the snares of love.
You don’t know when you fell in love with him. You don’t even know if you fell for him at some point in life or if you’ve loved him from the beginning of your life, or maybe far before the two of you existed, but his declaration of love locks you in a cage of wonders, making you a helpless bird. 
Yeji is astonished, when she comprehend your remark, and she quirks her eyebrows at you. "Wait, hold on. (Y/N) is there someone interested in you or my delusional mind is playing tricks on me, because I heard that someone likes you."
The light shade of pink adorns your face like a spreading flu, the trembling of your hands and the dizziness in your head it's the effects of your disease, which San is the cause. Unlike the flu, it won't disappear, when you treat it with a care, the only way to get rid of the disease it's by hurting him right through with a piercing bullet, but you can't do it, when he looks at you with a smile, that can melt your heart. You quickly shake your head, don't knowing about the breath you were holding, when she ask you the question. "No, what do you mean." She wouldn't let you go so easily, she do know about your defensive position, as you like to run away without  giving a proper answer.
She sighs. "Okay, listen. Maybe I'm not the smartest kid in our school like you, but I can't ignore the way San is looking at you. He is eye fucking you everytime he sees you, it's fascinating to per say." she mocks you in a childish manner. "What the fuck? Yeji, shut up! It's embarrassing, while you say it like that." "I don't care, tell me what's between the two of you." 
To fight her in an unequal battle is hopeless, because the possibility of you winning is none, the victory is negligible, as you would never win an argument with her strong points. She is like a brave lioness who defends her children against the threats by other animals, she also have a soft spot, which is Jung Wooyoung, but you wouldn't dare to touch the burning subject of her love, as you could die in the agony, and there would be nothing left but ashes of your mistake. "Fine, you ass." you roll your eyes at her, maybe admitting to your obscure desires is a good step to believe in impossible. The weight of your insistent insecurity is tugging you down, but your desire to fly between the old friends, made in heaven where the clouds are the epitome of warm embrace is stronger. "I like San." you confess. "He said he likes me, when I was with him in the library, he confessed to me about his love, and the world suddenly started to overflow with it colors.  I want to try, but my insecurities are making it hard to believe, but we kissed-" Your voice is shakier and more broken than you’d ever thought it could be.
"Hey, don't. You need to understand that you are amazing." she cooes. "I'm not surprised he likes you, you have heart made of gold and personality who shines like the brightest gem in the world, everything about you screams perfect." her reassuring words, which soothe your strained nerves in pleasure of joy, as you nod in agreement are a reason behind your shy smile. Yeji is a great friend, you believe that the only reason you became best friends was the fact that you didn’t let her vanish into the sea of doubtness, when there was no one who would extend a helping hand to her lifeless body. "Give yourself some time and most importantly trust him, everyone deserve a chance."
Your romance is not like any other love story unless you consider painful longing to the point of self-destruction as normal occurrences, he demolishes your soul and paints the idea of spending more time with him into the world of unknown, because you are, once again, convinced that Choi San was born to mess with your heart. The idea of being devoted lovers, burns the unseen scars at the pit of your stomach, because it feels distant, but also so close within reach, it sounds unfeasible, but also so beautiful, as you think about his hot touches on your skin. You care for him deeply, he knows the struggle of being misjudged just based on the foolish decisions made in past, but everyone do mistakes, which leads to a irritating effects in the future, haunting us like the worst nightmare.
We need to understand that people aren't faultless. 
The longing picture of San's getting out of shackles of the rebel, sealed by his sins, drifts into the subconscious state of your mind like a dove of hope, letting you imagine to be the person, who is willing to help him and experience his transformation, it's fullfilling your senses. To dream about the future next to him, where kisses are laced with love, the passion and where fondly words of utter adoration are whispered in the deadly night is deadlier than anything else in this world. But you pray to God, promising to be a good cause of his wrongdoings, which will lead to his change, because no suffering like this would ever break him free. "You are right, thank you."
"We are friends, it's not a big deal. Now promise me, you will never doubt yourself again." 
"I promise." you smile.
You're deep lost in the meaningful conversation with Yeji to notice the flaming presence of San, whose delicate hand touches your fragile shoulder to get your attention on him, and you melt the moment his burning touch you. He smells like cotton candy, when he wasn't smoking, and his whole aura seems to brighten entirely at the prospect of your sparkling eyes on his, and you allow a giggle to slip past your, when his cherry lips grins at you in a toothy smile, the round cheeks after the meal makes him adorable, how can he be a personification of the devil. His red hair is styled back, showing perfectly his forehead and the intensity of his eyes, the charming dimples you grow to love don't ever disappoint to take away your breath. "Be at the library at 5PM, don't be late." His tone is soft and gentle and you decide, that you hate Choi San for making you fall so carelessly in love with him. He was gone, by the end of the bell sound, and his intoxicating scent also gone with him.
And the warmth, you are already missing.
"Good luck, (Y/N)." Yeji squeezes your arm, and make her way towards the next lecture.
The rest of the day went smoothly, sharing some classes with San doesn't help you with your studies, it's a poison to your grades, but an antidote for your lonliness, as the monotonous lecture with Mr. Kim is coming to an end soon. You chuckle at his little love letters, which he puts in your sweater pocket, most of them consists of a cheesy pickup lanes, like "For some reason, I was feeling a little off today. But when you came along, you definitely turned me on." and "Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?" His hot breath on your neck, makes you shiver in a pleasure, when you sit in front of him, as you decide to abandon your pet's teacher seat in the displeasure of the scolding look of the lecturer, but you couldn't care less. "Come meet me at your locker." the last letter says, and you are introduced the state of euphoria.
The bell once again rings, not only signaling the end of the lecture, but also the rapid beating of your heart.
You turn around, exited to see his beautiful face, but you are slightly late, as he are already nowhere to be seen in the class along with his table partner Yunho, who reminds you of a big polar bear. Packing your belongings, you got a message form an unknown number, which shocks you to the core, "Don't trust him, he is not worth it." those words are driving you mad crazy. What the hell. You don't think much of it, but there is an empty feeling in your chest, as if a dark force settled down your stomach to bug out your day. Choi San has turned your life upside down and has brought you onto an edge that you enjoyed more than you cared to admit, it was too late to take a step back.
"Fuck this." you curse under your breath, exciting the class to look for San.
You take the steps, needed to arrive next to his strong figure, Yunho nowhere to be seen, and you offer him the bestest smile you can, perhaps, filled with every emotion you can't hide. The air around you is suffocating, he radiates an angelic glow, uncommon to him, you can't help but place a gentle kiss on his cheek, when he leanded nonchalantly against your locker, his shoulder relaxes visibly at your loving presence. San sends you a sly grin and tugs at the end of your blue sweater to draw you into his arms, eyes focused onto the sweet source of his happiness. "What was that for?" he pats the top of your head and places his hand on the small of your back, his actions are enough to make your heart stop beating, because his beauty defined by high cheekbones and dark arched eyebrows are the defenition of perfection. 
"I don't know." you splutter. "I suddenly got an urge to do it or maybe I wanted to prove to you about the theory of meteorite impact to the ground, which would kill all of the dinosaurs. " 
"Oh, why did you make me aware of death of dinosaurs, it's sad. Can you kiss me again to make my pain go away?"
"Kiddo." his forehead presses against yours, as you lean into him and press your lips against his ear, hands intertwined tightly and the scent still overwhelming. You place a fond kiss at the hem of his ear, whispering about sweet nothings, the boldness of your actions are enough to make him stiff in place, as you take your time to look at him, to drink in his perfect features. He’s sun kissed, you notice, and his lips are red and curved into a small smile. Choi San has turned your life upside down and has brought you onto an edge that you enjoyed more than you care to admit. "No more kisses." you laugh.
You pull away from him, and his bottom lip pops out, forming a pout and you have a strong desire to trace it with your fingers and your mouth like you did back then on the balcony, where the bright sun embodied your serene emotions. "I can always steal it, princess." he teases, and you break out into an easy grin, as he placed a chaste kiss at your soft lips.
"Let's go. I'm not in the mood to study anymore." 
"There is still one lesson ahead of us, San."
"So what? I want to spend rest of the day with my girlfriend. Now come on baby, don't make me beg you." 
He promised to make you fall in a twisted snares of love with him, his burning touches which ignites the fire will be the answer to your hopeless eyes, and he will prove the sincerity of his intentions, when you decide to run away with the knight in laether jacket to find the source of your happiness. There is no place for deep reflections, you want him to degrade you with his dark life, and to be a part of his kingdom, because ruling without the queen was already hard for him. The world can burn in noxious agony, if it means he would be there with your connected soul, holding you closely in a affectionate embrace, as your trembling hands finds way to his sharp face adorned with the most attractive smile.
"Fine, let's go." you mutter under your breath, and San lets out a quiet and triumphant yes slip from his lips, as he eagerly grabs your hand in his warm one, to assure you about the correctness of this choice and leads you to the courtyard, where his black motorbike is parked. 
Choi San is the love of your life, you decide, as you watch him, hand held tightly by him. San is everything you want and more, he is fullfilling your senses with wholesome ecstasy, you drink up his presence in the gleaming sun, a view satisfying like the miracle oasis in the middle of tropical desert. You look at him and smile. 
He is beautiful.
He attentively puts a helmet on your head, his face scrunch in concentration, his tongue pokes out of his mouth, when he was focused on protecting you from inevitable, he flashes you a dimple grin, which you return. "It will protect you. I hope you aren't afraid of speed." The thrilling feeling of adrenaline kicks in, as San's motor roars in the air like a obsessed mantra, your heart beating abruptly in your chest at the frantic sound. You are terrified, but the look of pacification on his blissful face, you long to is enough for you to hop into the embrace of death, hugging his calming back from behind. "Good girl."
The fast ride through the city with San reminds you of playing with fire, it could be a lethal weapon in the wrong hands, taking away your reckless life, when you handle it without proper caution. Life isn't beautiful without taking a risk, perhaps it's easier to put your faith in devil's sharp claws, than look for the light in angel's halo, because San's calming presence is enough for you to endure the feeling of frighten. He is aware of your trembling hands, you can't control, the swift breaths you take to soothe your racing nerves, while you melt into his figure to gain the courage, as he speeds up down the road. The destination is unknown to you, he hasn't metioned where he wish to take you, kissing you with the burning passion, holding you close in his arms till your worries of unrequited love vanish into the void, leaving a space for an attachment.
You trust San with the remaining strength in you, it isn't difficult, but you can't resist fluttering shut your eyes to ease the throbbing of your heart, you know nothing awful will happend to you, if he is here to remind you of his close proximity. "Baby, we are here. Open your pretty eyes, you can't miss the view." The ride came to an end when his divine voice comes out of his throat, the moment his yearning palms touch your gentle face to reveal you from the helmet, it's devastating for him, he can't let go of your pure smiles and soft chuckles at his sugared praises about your bravery. He is mesmerized by your angelic purity, the taste of blissful heaven never tasted so delectable at his tongue, as he molds your lips in a heated adventure between clouds. His intoxicating scent make you lightheaded, teeth clashing together in a messy battle of dominance and you let his lustful desires win, the low whimper escapes from his mouth. Believing in God is unnecessary for him, but believing in the miracles of blue paradise is right, because he could meet you.
The mesmerizing view of ocean absorbs your attention, it's beautiful, the sun is near to set and the colors of orange and red are visible in the sky, interwined together in a fierce dance to create a gorgeous convolution of emotions, where the stray souls would find the answer for their longing questions. San's head falls down into the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet perfume, the smell he craves, his warm embrace on your waist grow in strength, as the cold breeze hit his back. He place another chaste kiss down your neck, your delicate hand is gripping at the red hair on top of his head, when your lips tremble at the close inticimaty, but he pulls away completely and you feel cold and empty, as he flashes you a sly grin. 
"I thought it would be nice to enjoy the sunset, while we will be busy making out like horny teenegers." San's glowing eyes forms the crescents, his sharp features softens in the vivid twilight, when he teases you, as he ruffles your hair with a precious laugh. He is uterrly beutiful in every way, you think, from the reflection of luminescent stars in his eyes, the freckles on his neck made of stardust, you yearn to explore with your desirable touch, to his flawlessly shaped waist, as it fits perfectly in your arms. But he is brighter than all stars above. "It was a joke of course, but it doesn't sounds so bad in my opinion." He flashes you a mischievous grin, eyes flaming as he stared you down with an interest.
You giggle, subtly pressing harder against him, the heat rolling off his body, he will be the death of you, but the state of limerence is amazing, you can't restrain from his charms, the God had taken his time with him, so why he had to banish him to the gates of hell? "You're gross." you flicker his forehead, smiling with adoration, when his face pouts a disappointment, a little whine escapes his mouth. Then you realize the God is awful, maybe San isn't uninfected with sins, he never prayed, but he tries to be good in his own, unique way. 
Because Choi San is open minded, the heavy curtains of the cruel world aren't enough to fool his divine eyes, and maybe you're dancing with the devil, but it doesn't frighten you. Being partly good is better than being artificial pure. San laid his leather jacket that smells like his cologne on your shoulders, as he sees you shivering under the circumstance of cold wind, his arms now exposed fully to you, the antic makes you blush and you throw him a sheepish smile to hide the cherry like flush. "No, just madly in love with you, princess." he takes out the cigarette from the back pocket of his jeans, lighting it up immediately, with a cunning smirk, it's the sin he is addicted to, the smoke surrounding him seems to embrace him gracefully.
The motorcycle seat beneath you is like a safe home to you, when still in place without the danger of speed, it's comforting you in every possible way, and his godly presence makes it even better, it's like the best antidote for solitude. "Are you always this smooth with your words?" you ask, biting your trembling lips, as his intense stare is burning holes on your redden face. He hums in dismiss, heart beating faster and faster as the seconds passed by. "Can I have one?" your breath hitches in your throat, when his large palms clutches your chin in a gentle touch. 
Choi San is the cause of the swarm of butterflies in your stomach.
"Can you be honest with me? Tell me, have you ever smoke?" he says, searching in your eyes for a genuine answer, but you can never lie to him, as the weight of the repulsiveun untruth is inordinately heavy, you couldn't carry it throught the life. 
"No."
"Then the answer is also no, angel." his delicate grip on you has loosened, as he lets go of your chin, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, and you whimper in his chest at the lose of his warmth. He doesn't fancy the idea of ​​you being addicted to the awful nicotine because of him, the deadly treat isn't worth losing your flawless purity, and for San you are a good girl made of pure porcelain, too fragile for this dark world. Good girls don't smoke. You clutch at his black shirt, as he lowers his head in order to move his lips to your cheek, while you inhale deeply his intoxicating scent and you’ve never felt more alive than you did then, in San's arms – the one boy who sets your heart in flames.
"But I want to try, please San. Let me, it will be my first and last time. I promise." you whine, the high hopes in your mind, because San can't resist your soft pleadings, as he is a slave of your angelic voice, but he doesn't mind as long, as you are his cause of rapid heartbeat. Truth to be told, both of you are too lost into the world of love, Choi San has committed to you, and you seal the deal with the devil itself, as you press an open mouthed kiss on his neck and then on his jaw, landing on his lips at the end. And yes, maybe it can bring the pain and sorrow, but the embrace of the devil is worth it.
He chuckles, and it’s low and throaty, his right hand ends up on your neck in a firm grip, leaving a trace of hell, which burns you alive. You aren't afraid of his crimes anymore, beacuse Choi San is the reason of the flowing sensation in your veins, as he pushes you harder into his body, taking a deep inxhale from the cigarette with the other hand. He molds together your plump lips in a sensual kiss, the other hand finds the way to your cheek, the metal cold rings on his fingers are sending you to overdive, as his mouth opens against yours and his tongue licks eagrly at the entrance of your lips. You give in to his burning touch, mouth feeling hot and a heavy, the sensation of fullness settles into the pit of your chest, as he kisses you harder and more urgent, exhaling the deathly smoke into your lungs. San is needy, but you don't mind, as your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly close. There’s no reason to hold back, you desire his proximaty and he desires yours, it's the definition of selling your soul to the bad side.
Your fingers reach for his hair, feeling the fluffiness of his locks, as San breaks the kiss, when the overflow of smoke in your mouth chokes you, and your hazy eyes still fixated on his swollen lips, which forms a cocky grin. "I can't believe you said it was your last, when you are looking at me like this, sweetheart." You struggle to breathe, as his hands cup your face in between them, rough fingertips rubbing circles into the skin, and you blush harder than you thought possible, when a low and guttural moan leaves the back of his throat. "Fuck, it's hard for me to restrain."
"Sorry."
The overwhelming weight of the intense battle, filled with lustful touches and hot kisses, leaves you hot-blooded, and you wish it would last longer, because San is the reason of your mad addiction and sins, which pulls you down into the hole of thirst. You don't regret giving up, the pit in your stomach deepens and your thoughts swirl around in your head like sweet promises, because you can see the love oozing in his chestnut eyes, and you swear you fell in love with him once again. San rests his forehead against your heart, the sound of your rapid heartbeat is like a beloved lullaby for him, cooing him to fall into the marvellous dreamland, but the gates to the underworld of Hades are watching him, proud of his actions, because you sinned, and the God will never forgive you, but if that means rotting in hell together with San, then it's alright to do so. You are sure that you can endure it, because Choi San is your medicine for pain.
"Don't be, it's my fault. I got too carried away, but I can't help it, you are driving me crazy." his fingers brush at the strands falling into your eyes and he presses another quick kiss onto your longing mouth. There is no air left in your lungs, and they burn with need yet you neglect them. "Do you like the place?" he flashes you a gentle smile, pushing up the jacket on you, which had slip when you were too engaged in each other mouths, and he moves away completly from you to let you see the breattaking view, as he stands next to you. It eases your neglected pain.
The beautiful place pulled straight out of a fairy tale, reminds you of the place, where you had spend most of your childhood, but you can't recognize it, as your memories are blurry. "Yes, I do!" you answer, looking at the sunset in awe. "I feel like I was here before, but I can't remember it." you sigh. "I have a feeling that I used to spend a lot of time here, coll-" you say in a daze, but San interrupts you with a unreadable grin, when you look his way, to see how the sun is glowing at his honey like skin, making him a untouchable piece of art, the messy hair stand on all sides from the previous actions, but he still looks saintly.
"Collecting the colorful sheels and screaming about the invisible fishes in the water, which would scare you to the bones?" he finishes the sentence for you, and you, quite simply put, forget how to breathe. San smiles a bright smile, pearly whites on display, and you see the glimmer of the orbs in his eyes. You blink at him in confusion. "Yeah, something like that, but how did you know?" you ask bewildered by his words.
"I was the kid with the blonde streak at the top of his head. Girls swooned over me, and I only had my eyes for a girl, who would smooch my bruises on knees, from falling too many times on the hard rocks near the shore." he chuckles, finally looking at you with beaming eyes full of adoration, the late realization hit you like a bolt from the heaven.
The story of you and Choi San didn't start the moment the saviour Seonghwa introduced him to you, but it started at the very beginning of the hot summer holiday, both of you were still an small mere imitaions of your parents, made of nothing, but the blank pages, who later would be neglected by your bad words and poor choices. You met him at the age of 12, he wasn’t the tallest, but he was endearing, when he walked confidently into the blazing sand, in his hands toys and a happy smile on his face. San had one desire back then, the childish one, to defeat everyone in the competiton of building the highest sand castle, and the prize was a date with the most beautiful girl on the beach, and yes you were her.
He succesfuly won the first place, after many devastating for a kid failures, but his motivation to win was more powerful, just like him today. In this young age boys grossed you out, they were noisy and disgusting, and they were talking only about games, but he was different, a little mysterious. You were under some sort of aura that managed to take your breath away even back then, when he was nothing more than a boy, who was raised by his granparents, with a stupid name "Shiber Choi", but he soon turned to be your best friend and that's how your two months teeneger crush, filled with nervewrecking adventures and deep conversation started.
"What? That was you, no fucking way, San! You were my first love, you asshole!" You flush in delight and raise on your tiptoes to press a lingering kiss to his mellow cheek, putting your hand over his heart. "I love you, San." You whisper quietly into his shirt, sound muffled by the fabric and you hope he hears you, especially now, that you are held by him so tightly. He hugs you tighter and kisses the top of your head, fingers coming to comb through the hair at the nape of your neck. 
Choi San is your first love and you hope to also be your last.
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