#especially antidepressants. people kill themselves without those.

[storm-of-feathers]

I look at ppl who are "anti medication" the same way i look at anti vaxxers tbh.

[negasonicimagines]

Revelation; Part One

warnings/kinks: a/b/o (if you’re penis-repulsed this isn’t for you), smut (duh), brief daddy kink, even briefer mommy kink, cum-eating, cum-marking, cockwarming? (does it count if it’s a/b/o?), light bloodplay, borderline somniphilia (consensual), poisoning, suicidal ideation, allusions to cheating, mentions of conversion therapy, vague mentions of s*xual ass*ult (it doesn’t actually happen in the story, it’s just referred to a lot due to the nature of this universe)

uh… this is another one of those stories that’s just kinda Heavy, please be careful & don’t continue reading if doing so is unsafe for you. I have a variety of other works that don’t have such intense themes, which you can find on my masterlist!

request (+details): Omegaverse: Alphas Yukio and Ellie with a beta reader, but it turns out that reader is a late-bloomer omega who goes into her first heat unexpectedly. / Omegaverse: The setting could be anywhere. The three of them waking up with reader burning hot, believing to be sick but is actually going into heat. The reader could be by themselves when it happens and her alphas come home to a omega in heat / I can’t get this omegaverse idea out of my head, and I hope you don’t mind me telling you this. Reader being alone and confused when her heat came, her alphas gone on a mission. During the time they were gone, Reader made a nest of her alphas’s clothes out of instinct on their bed. By the time Yukio and Ellie returned, Reader is a hot mess from trying to get off, moaning their names and begging for her alphas to help her for she don’t know why she feels like this and is scared.)

synopsis: After Wade discovers you're dealing with suicidal thoughts, he takes it upon himself to help you out, leading to one disaster after another.

author’s note: thank you so much to the lovely anon who requested this for spending so much time with me & making sure everything was juuuust right! Fun fact: we pined, started dating, and broke up, started dating again, and broke up again all before this was published 🙃 sorry everybody, it’s been a rocky road for the past… forever.

Standing guard after school for a few extra bucks is a pretty sweet deal, you have to admit. You mostly just sit around with a pair of binoculars munching on your snack of choice, using a gun loaded with tranquilizer darts to drop anyone who threatens the safety of the school and its residents. If given permission, or an order to do so, you can use your bow and arrow to really take down your enemies.

You’re pretty lucky in life overall, you also have to admit, with two alpha girlfriends and a variety of friends and acquaintances, not to mention the advantages your mutation gives you.

It makes you feel even more guilty for what you’re really thinking about right now. Not Ellie, not Yukio, not keeping an eye out for threats, nothing but a simple question:

Would it be more efficient to slit your wrists with the point of one of your arrows, or to fling yourself from the top of this turret? Which would hurt worse? You look from the sharp arrow you hold in your hand to the plush grass below, managed by some of the other students.

It’s far cheaper to pay students to maintain the yard and house, not to mention it gives students like you a way of earning the kind of spending money that other students receive from their parents or from jobs in town. Your post would be snatched up in no time if you were to pass.

Speaking of parents.

Your father’s exact words to your mother were “I hate that you use a highschool mistake to keep me trapped with you forever!” the last time you happened to hear them argue. They were no longer invited to parent-teacher conferences after that.

It’s a fine reason for him to be angry, but, unfortunately, you’re the highschool mistake he was talking about. The one he’s always talking about whenever they fight. Maybe if you were gone, he’d finally be free. Maybe you’d finally be free from his resentment. He, fortunately enough, rarely lashes out at you directly; however… There’s always been a distance.

Would he love you more if you were gone? If you saved him from… Well, you? You’ve always wanted him to love you, to look at you with something other than anger or resentment. Would he finally be proud of you, for owning up to every horrible thing you are and have done by paying the ultimate price? Would everyone?

You’re holding the bladed tip of the arrow right against your wrist, almost like a normal person might hold a bracelet to their wrist -- trying it on for size, without really thinking about it.

Suddenly, though, Wade’s here. And he’s definitely thinking about it. He yanks the arrow out of your hand, accidentally snapping the wood that makes up its length.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I- Uh, I don’t know,” you mumble, embarrassed, because you honestly don’t. Being alone with your thoughts gives them the space to grow from their poisoned roots into something dark you don’t really recognize as yours.

“You- You don’t know?!” Wade questions, and the unusual severity of his tone stuns you to the point of laughter. “This isn’t fucking funny, what the hell is wrong with you? Why were you-?! What were you-?! What the fuck are you doing?!”

“I’m standing guard. What the fuck are you doing?” you echo dryly, resorting to quips to avoid telling him any more than he already knows.

“I’m freaking out! I can’t kill you for apparently wanting to kill you, so that’s all I can do! I thought you were on antidepressants!”

“I am. Have been for years. They don’t cure depression, they make it easier to manage.”

“Apparently fucking not! Come on, let’s go talk to somebody and get you an appointment with a psychiatrist. You’ve been on the same prescription all these years, right? Maybe you just need your dosage upped.” Wade’s not asking, he’s telling, his hand wrapped around your bicep to pull you along, although his grip isn’t as tight as you’d expect for a man of his stature, let alone an alpha.

Why does he care so much? He’s always so gentle, even when you piss him off like this. Tears well up in your eyes but you blink hard. You know he’s been through worse. That most people here have. You have no right to cry.

Wade yells at a surprised Charles Xavier until an appointment is set up, which goes pretty well. Four days after that incident, you meet with the psychiatrist who agrees that upping your dosage is the smartest decision, frankly, she’s surprised it wasn’t done sooner. And, after about a week of your new dosage level, you’re feeling better than ever.

Way better.

“You… You’d really wanna do that? For everyone to know I’m yours?”

Ellie nods, cheeks darkened. You’re straddling her, and the two of you have been trading heated kisses with Yukio. Who would’ve thought more of the medication you were sure killed your libido before you could even develop one would be what rescued it?

“Of course we would. I know you don’t like to stereotype, but some of the stereotypes have truth to them. We’re… Territorial,” Yukio reminds you.

“I’m… A beta,” you remind her in a teasing echo of her tone.

“Our beta,” Ellie cuts back in. “Absolutely perfect.”

“Even if I’d rather not let you guys, y’know…” Your hand rubs at the space between your neck and your shoulder - where they’d likely mark you with their teeth - nervously. “...today? Or go farther than what we’re doing right now?”

“Of course, baby! The fact that you’ve even done this much…” Yukio trails off, looking over you. Your lips are swollen and still slightly parted as you continue to pant a little. The top few buttons of your (well, borrowed from Ellie) flannel are undone.

“We’re so grateful, and so proud of you,” Ellie continues, drawing your attention back to her. “We’re willing to wait as long as you need, even if that waiting only ends because you’ve decided that being with us like that isn’t something you want.”

“I do. I always have, I just… I don’t know.”

“The feeling’s still there, in your stomach, right?” Yukio wonders.

“Yeah, a little. It’s like… I know it’s not wrong, but something doesn’t feel quite right. Maybe I should just try to ignore it, I mean, you two have needs-”

“Hey. You know better than that, Y/N. We don’t, okay, babe? Not like that. We wanna have sex with you, not- Not hurt you. You understand that, right?” Ellie reassures you.

“I do, I just feel bad for being such a- I don’t know, a tease?”

“We love you. As in, you. If you forced yourself to do something you didn’t want to, just for us, how would we forgive ourselves?” Yukio says what she’s said a million times, but every time it surprises you. You tend to see yourself as only being valuable in what you can offer others— protection, a laugh, some good advice every now and then —you never expect anyone to care for you outside of that. But here they are. Absolutely perfect.

And you were thinking of flinging yourself off a tower a couple weeks ago. Should you tell them? They just think you went for an overdue checkup, which is technically the case. You don’t know what’s worse, hiding it or telling them. You’ll have to talk to Wade, he’s good at giving advice. Might not be good advice, but he’s definitely good at giving it.

“Everything okay, sharpshooter?” Ellie hands gently squeeze your hips to get your attention.

You blink back out of your thoughts, smiling a little and blushing at the nickname.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Sorry, I just zoned out. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”

“Everything okay?” your alphas ask, again, in unison. Your alphas. They probably couldn’t handle it if you had a problem they couldn’t solve, the guilt of not being able to provide for you would overwhelm them.

“Yeah, totally,” you reply, because it is, now, especially here with them. Ellie starts to button up your flannel.

“Oh, we don’t have to-”

Ellie gives you a pointed look, then looks down at her crotch, then back up at you. Your blush deepens.

“Yeah, I’m guessing a cold shower’s in order,” Yukio agrees. “El, you can go first.”

“We can’t go together?” Ellie asks.

“Well, I don’t wanna leave Y/N alone. Our brave little beta did a lot more than usual. Don’t want you to feel used, baby,” Yukio explains to you both.

“Oh, duh,” Ellie agrees. You give her a quick smooch on the forehead before dismounting her and allowing yourself to be pulled into Yukio’s arms. Ellie grabs some clean clothes and heads off. As soon as the door shuts, Yukio giggles, and you look to her with a curious, confused expression.

“Now you’re all mine to cuddle.” Yukio gloats, kissing the top of your head. “Mm… You smell really good, babe. New shampoo?”

“Ish, yeah,” you agree, despite the fact that you started using it nearly a month ago at this point. Maybe the body heat you built up from the makeout session made it smell stronger, though.

Yukio keeps sniffing you, but you don’t call her out on it. She’s a little bit quirky, sure, but there’s no need to make her feel self-conscious about it when the tickling sensation feels kinda nice. She tosses in a few soft presses of her lips against your skin, too, so it’s not like she’s the only one who benefits.

Yukio eventually stops this, though, instead requesting to scent you. You’ve told the girls before that they don’t have to ask, but they— especially Yukio —seem to prefer to. You figure it’s likely to reassure them that you not only tolerate but appreciate their alphahood.

“I love you, you know that? Not just ‘cause you make me smell like petrichor. I’m surprised Ellie doesn’t spend all day huffing your scent, I… I know I would, if I could smell it.” You didn’t mean for the sad envy to ring so clearly in your words, but it’s as sharp as a knife, cutting deep enough to make Yukio gasp softly with sympathy as she rubs your wrist against her scent gland, eyes snapping open.

“Well, next time it’s about to rain, we’ll go outside, then. Every time it’s about to rain,” Yukio insists. “Who- Who told you?”

“Wade. I was just curious. He said Ellie smells like a campfire, the scent even clings like it. He even said I smell a little weird. Most betas smell like something, but I’m just… A blank canvas.”

You feel her rumble a bit with a growl, and her arms wrap tightly around you… Protectively? You blush.

“Y-Yukio?” you nervously ask, caught off guard. Ellie’s usually more of the growling type. Yukio’s pretty good about keeping her possessiveness and any other “negative” alpha traits in check. This side of her doesn’t come out often.

“What was he doing that close to you?” she snarls protectively, and if the growl wasn’t enough to get your heart racing, that was. “Sm- Smelling you?”

“Yukes, Wade’s the same age as my parents. Honestly, he’s- He’s kinda- He’s nice to me. We’re friends. I think if he was going to hurt me, he would’ve done it by now. You two keep forgetting I’m just a beta. No one wants a piece of this pie except for you and Ellie.”

“You’d be surprised at the way some alphas… It’s sick, but they- Because betas, you know, they don’t really produce slick like omegas do, and they don’t have quite as much give, uh… So, some alphas, um, they… Just let me hold you, okay?” Yukio requests. “I can’t talk about it, it’ll make me too mad.”

“I respect that. Thank you. I, uh, I didn’t realize that at all, so thank you for helping me be even safer,” you reassure her. She’s trembling. “Do you want me to hold you, instead?”

“No, no, this will make me feel better. I just… I love you. Can you just…? Just- Just say you’re mine.” This is a request Yukio has semi-often. When she feels weak in comparison to other alphas, when she feels overshadowed by Ellie, any time she needs reassurance or is just feeling bad, she’ll probably ask. You get it, being hers (and Ellie’s, of course) makes you feel better, too.

“I’m yours, Yukio. Always yours. You make me so happy, both of you. Happier than- You make me feel so-“ You get a bit choked up. These girls, these alphas… They’re so important to you.

“Oh, no, baby, please don’t cry,” Yukio implores, watching your eyes water. You turn so that your face doesn’t just rest on her chest but is buried in it.

“It’s just that no one ever loved me before you two. No one, ever. Not my parents, not my ’friends,’ no one. I don’t know why I’ve been so emotional lately, I’m sorry.”

“No one at all?” Yukio questions, but that’s the missing puzzle piece, she realizes. You’re always treating hers and Ellie’s love for you like it’s something you have to earn, no matter how much they insist being yourself is enough. She fully grasps now that it’s never been enough before.

She holds you even tighter.

“Mm-mm,” you confirm, shaking your head a little. “You and Ellie just mean the whole world to me. And- And… Wade’s my friend, too. Can I still, y’know, spend time with him?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I just- He’s a nice guy, but… I don’t want him to put you in danger. You can handle yourself, though. Can’t you, sharpshooter?” Her fingers trickle up your ribs as she says the nickname, making you giggle and squirm.

“Absolutely, but it is nice to have two strong, sexy alphas take care of me instead every now and then,” you admit, albeit a bit teasingly, blushing softly. You turn back so that you can see her adorable face.

“Really?” Yukio asks, but she knows.

“Really,” you agree with a smile.

“I’m yours, too. You know that, right?” Yukio checks, fiddling with your hair a bit.

“Mhm. It’s nice to hear you say it like that, though.”

“I can think of other ways you might like to hear it,” Yukio flirts.

“Yeah, you think so? Show me,” you tease back.

“I will…” Yukio trails off as she trails her finger along your jaw, tipping your head up to the perfect kissing angle and- “Eventually, little beta.”

“I- I’m taller than you,” you weakly protest.

“Your breath still hitched,” Yukio reminds you with a giggle and a gentle tap on the tip of your nose.

You stutter a little more before giving up, burying your face again and whining.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I just can’t help myself. You’re too cute,” Yukio half-heartedly apologizes, still chuckling to herself as she strokes your back.

Ellie returns from her shower, inky tendrils of hair ruffled around but with no product in.

“She’s asleep?” Ellie asks, sounding a bit disappointed, but there’s still a significant amount of fondness in her tone.

“She’s not,” you mumble back, and both girls chuckle, Yukio untangling herself from you. You can’t help but pout a little, already missing the bubblegum-haired alpha.

“I know Yukio’s your favorite, but you could at least act a little bit happy to see me,” Ellie half-jokes, and you smile, pulling (though she doesn’t give any resistance) the girl back into your bed. She holds you the same way Yukio did, but you don’t really mind the lack of variety.

“You’re both my favorite,” you argue. Ellie takes a deep breath, likely taking in the way you’re completely embraced by Yukio’s scent.

“I don’t think that’s how favorites work,” she chuckles.

“Out of all the people in the world, you two are both my favorite,” you insist. She takes the hand you have resting on her ribcage and holds it inches from her scent gland. “Please,” you say, before she can even ask. Ellie takes a whiff again.

“Did she leave anywhere untouched?” She wonders.

“N-not really,” you stutter, because now you’re thinking of where she didn’t touch you.

“Well, she’ll have to share a little, then,” Ellie says.

You hum with delight as she scents you.

“You make a new friend?” Ellie questions.

“Huh?”

“You smell… Different,” she responds, looking at you… Well, differently. “Like roses.”

“I have a new-ish shampoo?” You offer, but that just seems to intensify the look.

Your phone rings. It’s Wade. You wriggle out of Ellie’s loose hold on you, answering.

“Hey, you know how I’m your academic advisor?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Well, apparently, thwarting your suicide attempts isn’t my only job. I also have to tell you when they need you in the office, which is now.”

“Seriously?! I didn’t even throw that pencil at Richard, and even if I did, he deserved it for being such a-“

“Oh, right! Should’ve opened with the good news. Your parents are here to visit.”

“What?! That’s-“ You sigh, not wanting to alarm Ellie any more than you already have. “Okay. I’ll be there. Just give me a second to get dressed.”

“Wow, no shame at all. I salute you. Toodles!” Wade hangs up before you realize he misunderstood you.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie asks.

“Nothing, just… My parents are here.”

“Your… Parents?”

“Kind of have to have those to exist, usually,” you remark, and she snorts.

“I know- I- Well, we’ve known each other for a while, and you don’t really talk about them, so I sort of assumed…” Ellie trails off.

“Oh, um, yeah, no, they’re very alive,” you confirm with an awkward chuckle.

“Right. I’ll go get ‘Kio, and we’ll all go, okay?”

“Uh- Um- Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“My parents, they kind of… They- I love you. And I’m not ashamed of you.”

“But they’ll be ashamed of you,” Ellie understands.

“I haven’t seen them in so long, they don’t even know that I like girls, let alone that I’m dating two, or that they’re both alphas… I want you and Yukio to come with me, but, if they start to- If they’re how they are, I-“

“Give my energy to helping you instead of hurting them,” Ellie uses Piotr’s words.

“Perfect,” you agree, and Ellie smiles back, but it falters. You didn’t mean to worry her so much.

“I’ll go get Yukio. You get changed, okay?”

“Mhm,” you agree, and she heads off to the bathroom. You steal one of Ellie’s band tees and an oversized cardigan of Yukio’s for comfort, finding a pair of high-waisted bottoms to tuck the tee shirt in. You throw on a pair of sneakers, and when the girls emerge from the bathroom, you pop in to freshen up.

Once you’re done, Yukio’s caught up on the situation and the three of you make your way to the front offices.

Wade meets you outside.

“Oh em gee, Y/N, you’ll never believe it, I actually went to high school with both of your parents.”

“Uh… Cool?” You respond, because you’re not entirely sure how to.

“Yeah, uh, I get now that it’s probably not really good news that they’re here, huh? No wonder I found you doing that the other day.”

“Doing what?” Yukio and Ellie ask, though for some reason, Ellie’s is tinged with suspicion, maybe even anger.

“I- Listen, it’s not a big deal, I got my prescription updated and all that good stuff, okay?” You prime them. “I was thinking about killing myself the other day and Wade caught me.”

“Thinking?! You’re gonna call holding the fucking tip of an arrow to your wrist thinking?!”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Ellie sounds as angry as Wade does, but she looks pained. This is why you didn’t tell them.

“Hey, she doesn’t need this right now,” Yukio argues, but she looks hurt, too.

“I mean, I was just considering if it would be more painful than jumping off of the turret,” you mumble, your defense embarrassingly weak.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Ellie decides, and Yukio nods. You three follow Wade to Xavier’s office. Wade breezes in, but you’re practically stuck in the doorway, nervous to look at even the backs of their heads, before they turn around.

“Y/N,” your mom says with a grin, but you know all too well how fake that is. She approaches you, pulls you into a hug, and you want nothing more than to push her away and scrub yourself clean. She doesn’t really love you. The second you speak out of turn, or make a mistake, or give her any excuse, she’ll remind you of your worth. (Or, rather, the lack thereof.)

She slips back into her seat next to your father, in front of the desk where Xavier sits, simply observing.

“It’s been so long,” your father says, but his smile is almost blatantly fake. “Your hair, it’s different.”

“Like you said, it’s been a while,” you say, giving a grimace and an awkward chuckle.

“I don’t think I like it,” he says, like he’s giving his opinion on a sculpture in an art exhibit by some long-dead artist who doesn’t care what he thinks. Like it’s something just… Objective.

“Not sure what to do about that,” you reply sheepishly.

You don’t fully realize that you’re holding Ellie’s hand until she squeezes it reassuringly, three times. A secret code. You step further in to make room for the girls.

“So, uh, I have to ask… Why the sudden visit?”

“Well, we got an e-mail about your medicine, and we wanted to come check on you. Make sure this is the right environment for you,” your mother explains.

“You weren’t sure before you stopped talking to me for two years?” You half-joke, playing dumb.

“Has it really been two years?” A normal person would be asking this rhetorically, and they’d be embarrassed. Your mother, though, is simply trying to gaslight you.

“Longer,” you assure her.

“I thought this place was supposed to provide conversion therapy,” your father says, eyeing your hand, then Ellie’s other hand. “You’re such a fucking liar,” he hisses to your mother.

“Wow, maybe my mom dying when I was young was for the best. Better than this for sure,” Wade jokes, gently elbowing your side. You chuckle, grateful for even the slightest ounce of comic relief.

“You’re even more of a freak than you were in high school.” You squeeze Ellie’s hand tight as your father’s expression darkens even further.

“Funny you should say that, considering-“

“Wade,” your mother cuts him off.

That’s weird, to say the least. You just file that away for later. You have bigger fish to fry, like surviving this visit.

“Y/N, why’d you go for a check-up at all? You barely needed the anti-depressants in the first place,” your mother wonders.

“Because it wasn’t barely. Why else would they raise the dosage?” You ask, and the expression on her face is as stupid as the question she asked.

“Don’t speak to her that way,” your father scolds, like he didn’t just call your mother a fucking liar himself. “You are so ungrateful for everything we’ve done for you, do you realize that?”

“I’m sorry, what have you done for her, exactly? Answer quickly, please,” Ellie retorts.

“El-“ you start, but realize this isn’t anger, but advocacy.

“Well, we sheltered and fed her for over a decade,” your father remarks, smirking like he’s won.

“That’s your job!” Wade argues.

“Mr. and Mrs. L/N… I politely asked that you refrain from visiting the campus, and while I appreciate your concern for Y/N’s well-being, I must ask that you remain respectful of her, her fellow students, and my staff. Causing unnecessary conflict is exactly the reason you were almost banned when you last visited,” Professor Xavier finally speaks.

“Almost banned?!” Wade wheezes.

“Yeah,” you sigh, and Wade’s laughter immediately ceases. “I was cheating in school, according to- To Dad.” The word is poison in your mouth.

“Come on, we all know you’re not smart enough to get those grades on your own. Probably screwing some teacher, just like Mom.”

“That’s enough,” Ellie snarls, eyes glowing orange.

“I never screwed a teacher!” Your mother protests at the same time.

“Oh, that’s right, you just blew Mr. Morin. My bad. Wow, Y/N, you really must be something special for all these alphas to be fawning over you. Maybe I did fuck up once or twice, after all, I’ve heard daddy issues-“

“Well, you visited! Now get the fuck out,” Wade chirps.

“Mr. L/N, must I repeat myself? I know you and Mrs. L/N were interested in a tour. Perhaps a less crowded area would help ease your minds,” Xavier reminds you all of his presence once more.

“That sounds like a great idea,” your father agrees.

“I’m starting to get a bit of a headache, maybe you could show us your room first and I could lie down for a bit in there?”

“I-“ You look to the girls, not wanting them to have to deal with her alone.

“Actually, Miss Phimister and Miss Kitsuna would be perfect additions to a rescue team. The orphanage your friend Russell came from was actually part of a network for mutant trafficking, and we found another hub in Maine. The jet takes off in fifteen minutes, and you two will be back in time for dinner. Better get ready and briefed.”

“But-“ Yukio starts, looking to you.

“Go, be superheroes,” you tell them, and they head out. “Uh, how about we swing by the library first, to give them time to change, and then to our room?”

“You share a room with them? Somehow, I’m not surprised.”

“We were roommates before we started dating,” you correct him.

“Dating… Aw, I bet you really think that’s what it is, too. Having parents in a sham of a marriage really did a number on you, huh?” Your father condescends.

“You know, it’s pretty fucked up how fixated you are on her sexuality. Do you like to picture it, you goddamn creep?” Wade defends you, and your skin crawls. You’d never thought of it that way before.

“Let’s just get that tour started, ‘kay?” You squeak. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner they’ll be on their way, hopefully.

“Good idea, Y/N,” Wade says. “Come on, Textbook, let’s go.”

“You didn’t just call me-“

“Oh, but I did, Textbook. Hey, Y/N, did you know that was your dad’s nickname in highschool? ‘Cause he was so fuckin’ easy to shove in a locker.”

You cover your mouth with your hand, trying not to laugh and failing.

“Just show us the library already, Y/N,” your mother says, pinching the bridge of her nose.

You take your parents to the library, as requested. Wade keeps pace with you while your parents fall back. You can’t hear their exact words, but you know your parents are bickering.

“You never said it was this bad.”

“It’s not that bad. It’s definitely been worse,” you admit, busying your eyes with the paintings that line the walls so that you don’t have to meet Wade’s gaze. You might just cry if you do; you can feel the sympathy radiating off of him.

In these past few months, Wade’s been more of a father than your dad, even more of a mother than your mom, but for some reason that doesn’t make you feel more justified in how you feel about your parents. In fact, it just makes you feel worse, and even if you’ve never actually expressed it, you’re still ashamed of the fact that you wish Wade was your father instead. He actually cares, while your parents are simply legally obligated.

From the day you met, Wade’s always been there for you. If you were to tell your parents what you almost did the other day, they’d just call you attention-seeking and insult you in other ways. All they’d do is make you want to try again.

You and Wade stop at the entrance to the library and wait for your parents to catch up. They do, and you open the double doors to reveal the room.

“It’s like Beauty and the Beast,” your mother gapes.

“I thought so, too,” you agree, attempting a smile, but your parents just ignore you, wandering around the large room. Your mother excuses herself after a few minutes of spinning, saying that the dizziness is making her headache worse.

“All these books and you’re still… The way you are,” your father comments, looking at you with such disdain.

“Winner of the science fair with her loving partners, three years in a row?” Wade questions. “Oh, or maybe you’re talking about the fact that she’s a published poet. How embarrassing for you, I’m sure.”

“Wade,” you protest under your breath, embarrassed. They don’t even know that stuff. After middle school, you stopped telling them about your accomplishments. You figured out that all they’d do is ruin them for you.

“No, no, trust me. It’s more about the fact that she’s slutting around with alphas and won’t even save us the embarrassment of them being girls,” you father spats.

“That’s enough,” Wade snarls.

“Oh, that’s right, we can’t forget that she’s yours, too. I guess anything with a dick is daddy considering I was too busy putting food on the table to play dollies,” he remarks, and you suddenly feel light-headed.

“Seriously, Textbook, I really don’t want to hurt you, especially not in front of Y/N, but I fucking will if you make me.”

“Just go,” you urge Wade, starting to feel a bit dizzy, surely from the stress. You brace yourself on him, disguising it as a touch meant to comfort him. He looks concerned as the edges of your vision start to darken a little.“I- What you’re doing, I appreciate it, but-“

“You appreciate it? You appreciate him disrespecting me, disrespecting our family?!”

“Our family?!” You finally snap. “All I ever wanted was for you to love me, and you couldn’t do that. You just couldn’t. And now we’re a family?! No. No, you…” You start to pant, your face feeling even hotter than before. “You… I hate you,” you manage to get out before your world goes completely dark.

“Fuck yeah, Y/N! I’m so prou-“

But when Wade turns to you, you’re halfway to the ground. He catches you, though, and he catches a whiff of something… Familiar.

Lavender. It’s not just the Wilson scent, sure, but it’d be too much of a coincidence. You smell just like him. You are him, or, rather, made of him.

He’s torn between ecstatic and furious.

“Hey, can we get some help over here?” your father calls out to no one. It’s not a school day, and lots of students are out on missions. He reaches out to you for once in your life, but Wade’s now sitting on the floor, cradling you in his arms.

“No,” Wade argues. “Not yours. Mine.”

“What?” You father asks incredulously. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“She’s. Not. Yours,” Wade repeats, and the more he inhales your scent, the more out of control yet calm he feels. Like he’s in the eye of a hurricane. “My baby. Mine.”

“You’re not saying…” your father trails off as Wade gets up, still cradling you. Wade has to take you to your room; help make you a nest, now. He can smell it on you.

You’re in heat.

He gets to your room quickly, practically tossing you onto your bed. Wait… Isn’t your mom supposed to be here?

And that’s when he hears the sound of pills spilling onto the floor.

He nearly rips the bathroom door off of its hinges. Luckily, your mother spilled what Wade quickly realizes is suppressants, and not your prescription.

“You. You could’ve killed her. You are very, very lucky that my baby-“

“Our baby,” your mother corrects.

“No, you take pills, you can’t even smell her, let alone feel her like I can. It- It’s so much it fucking hurts. I’ll say it again, you’re very lucky my baby is in heat, or your arteries would be emptying in that shower. Now, go. Don’t come back.”

You groan in pain, stirring, and your mother takes Wade’s advice. Wade calls Yukio. Then Ellie. Then Yukio. Then Ellie.

“What the fuck, dude?!”

“You need to turn around. Now. I don’t have the time to explain. It’s Y/N.”

“Is she okay?” Ellie, always skeptical, asks.

“Obviously fucking not, or I wouldn’t be calling. She’s in heat.”

“But-“

“I said that I don’t have time to explain, fucking turn around! I’m on the verge of going fucking feral, Ellie. You both need to get here, now.”

“Wade, get out,” Ellie immediately demands.

“I can’t,” he admits.

“Get out! Shit, Wolverine! We need to turn around!”

“I can’t. It’s not like that I swear, it’s… I’m going fucking crazy, just one of you will do, but someone needs to get here.”

“Wade, go.”

“I would never hurt her! Come home!” Wade barks before hanging up. He returns to your room to find you’ve made a nest instinctively - thank goodness for Yukio’s affinity for pillows and blankets - and now you’re curled up in pain in the center of it.

“Wade,” you whimper. He’s scared to step closer, not sure if he’s what you want, even if you despise who you thought was your father. “What’s happening to me? Everything hurts.”

“I really don’t know how to say this, but… You’re in heat.”

“But I’m a beta,” you argue, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“That’s what we all thought. But… Remember how you didn’t smell like anything before? Uh, let me start over. When did you start on your anti-depressants?”

“I was about twelve,” you confirm, not sure what that means.

“Yeah, I think those were suppressants. That it’s always been suppressants, no matter what the bottles said. Until you got a prescription without your mother knowing. Do you understand why your mother would do that?”

You shake your head, and he approaches the bed, sitting down carefully as not to disturb your work.

“Her boyfriend around the time she got pregnant with you was a beta. We know him as Textbook,” Wade teases, before continuing: “But, what no one realizes is that he was at Niagara Falls on spring break around the time when you were conceived, and she was hanging out with her next-door neighbor the whole time. Her next-door neighbor was me.”

“Oh, so I’m your highschool mistake,” you say, connecting the dots.

“Huh?”

“Ha, well, whenever my parents- Well, I guess not my parents, but that’s beside the point, uh, whenever they argue and it gets really bad, my father- Well, not my father, but, uh-“

“Continue,” Wade urges.

“Basically, sometimes he uses ‘a mistake I made in highschool’ as code for ‘Y/N,’” you explain. “But the truth is, I’m the mistake you made in highschool.”

“You’re not a mistake,” he disagrees. “You’re- You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Lots of things are made by accident, but that doesn’t make them mistakes! Penicillin, potato chips, Post-It notes, popsicles! They were never supposed to exist but they do and the world is much better off with them in it.”

“You really do have a lot of useless knowledge,” you realize.

“So do you, that’s why our team always wins trivia night.” Wade slips off his boots, joining you in your rearranged bed. “C’mere,” he suggests, guiding your head to his neck.

“S’really you,” you mumble, already weary, and Wade worries for what’s to come. He almost doesn’t even want to let the girls in. He could get you pain medicine, he could probably even find sedatives. Then no one would ever be able to even touch you, let alone hurt you. “Lavender. You never mentioned the lavender, just the sandalwood.”

“I didn't think you’d be impressed,” Wade admits.

“It’s relaxing,” you tell him. “It’s nice to have things in common with someone.”

“You smell like roses, too, not just lavender,” he makes sure you know.

“Yeah, but I think that’s mostly concentrated in an area I’d rather not discuss with you.”

“Well, just make sure that if you do decide to do anything more with them than cuddle, which I can gladly go through the rest of my life without knowing, bee-tee-dubs, that the girls are wearing alpha condoms, especially if one of them knots you. Standard condoms work in a pinch if it’s just for one, y’know, go, but for heats they’re basically useless because of everything I just said. If they hurt you, I will make their deaths look like accidents.”

“S’not like I can get pregnant anyway…” You mumble, embarrassed. “I’m- I’m really glad it’s you. I- I wished so many times that it was you instead of him. Ow, ugh, that one was bad,” you groan, massaging your stomach.

Meanwhile, on the jet, Ellie is furious with herself.

“Yukio, you don’t get it, I smelled her. She smelled like an omega, but I thought- I assumed she was cheating on us. That maybe she didn’t want to be with us like that was because she wanted to- I don’t know, to be on top? It seems so stupid now.”

“Hey, I noticed she smelled different, too. There were other signs we both missed, anyways. Think about how emotional she’s been lately, or how much farther we’ve been going in other ways. How clingy she’s been, too.”

“I guess I didn’t really notice it because I liked her being more open and needing us more,” Ellie admits. “She- She almost fucking killed herself. And I thought cheating was what she was hiding. I- I just-“

“You can’t beat yourself up over it,” Yukio insists. “We’re on our way back, and Wade’s there to protect her.”

Speaking of Wade being there to protect you, he continues to comfort you as the pain gets worse.

“S’too hot,” you complain, and he releases you from his hold, rising from the bed. He knows he’ll have to leave you soon, because you’re likely going to need privacy before the girls get home, but it’s hard to part from you knowing you’re in pain.

“I’m gonna get you some water, okay? And after that, I’m just gonna stand guard outside the door until your girls get here. I know there’s some stuff you need to do, and that’s only gonna get worse.”

“It’s already awful,” you admit, and he chuckles.

“Good luck, kid. I love you.”

Wade gets a case of bottled water from the school’s industrial-sized pantry, bringing it to your room and tearing it open for you before leaving once more. You take one, immediately guzzling it down.

In privacy, you take off Yukio’s cardigan and your bottoms, leaving you in Ellie’s tee shirt and your underwear. You decide to go ahead and free yourself from the constriction that is your bra, feeling a bit embarrassed that you’re not leaving much to the girls’ imagination for your first time together. You eventually decide to undress completely, wondering when the hell your girls are gonna get here.

[bellavidasb-blog]

/Dealing with the Suicide of Someone you Love/

I have not shared this yet on Social media until now.  It was just far too painful.  However, I feel brave enough now to share this with you.  So here goes...

On February 4, 2019,  my dad took his own life.  He had struggled with untreated bipolar his whole life and Aspergers (ASD).  About a year ago, he went in for surgery for a Hip replacement and his health went downhill after the surgery due to several infections and pain that doctors could not get rid of.  

Sadly,  my dad did not want to admit he had bipolar.  He thought he only had depression and anxiety because he actually like his mania.  I think this might be true of some people who are bipolar.  They love their Highs, but their Lows scare them.   So, he never saw a Psychiatrist who could accurately diagnose him because he only went when he was Depressed and saw a General Practitioner MD.

Something that bugs me about this is that many Doctors will write a prescription for Antidepressants without truly diagnosing  their patients thoroughly.  They hear the symptoms and just write a prescription without truly understanding what is going on.

While my dad was depressed,  Antidepressants were not the answer for him.  He needed a Mood Stabilizer and he needed a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist to monitor his meds.  

Sadly, I learned after his death that my dad took an antidepressant for a few days,  said it hurt his stomach and abruptly stopped taking it.  A few days later,  he woke up, drove his car to a parking garage 5th floor and jumped without leaving a note of explanation to anyone.  This was so unlike my dad as he loved to write... if he was himself, he would have at least left all of us a note to explain why he did this.  He didn't even kiss my stepmom goodbye that morning when he left.

We are all devastated.  And tragically,  my family has had to deal with suicide many times before... My family has had many people who have committed suicide.  At least 3 of my dad's siblings, two uncles and his grandmother committed suicide.  This is an epidemic of huge proportions in my family.  

I am sharing this with you because I need to talk about this and not sweep it under the rug as suicide is often not talked about.  I might sound like I am making light, but believe me I am not.  I take this very, very seriously.  

In fact, I suffer from depression and anxiety and have taken an antidepressant for 11 years now.  It has helped me cope with stress, anxiety and depression and I know it is something I need.  I have myself been suicidal, but thankfully, was able to pull out of it and get help through counseling and, of course, my medication.  It makes me so sad and upset when people "medication shame" people for taking something that is helping them cope.  

We as a society need to realise some very important Truths about the Brain:

The Brain is an Organ- exactly like any other Major Organ in the Body.

The Brain is highly susceptible to deficiencies in the chemicals it needs to function properly- just like any other Organ in the body!

The Brain can be Low on chemicals just like your Liver or Pancreas.

No one would EVER shame a person with Diabetes for taking Insulin- why is it ok to Shame someone who has low serotonin for taking an SSRI Antidepressant?

The Brain does not replace its cells like other organs in the body and is much more fragile than other organs in the body.

The Brain is highly sensitive to stimuli from the environment, chemicals in the air, foods we eat and the stimuli you are giving it.  

If we can come to think differently about our Brains and how they Function,  we might start to destigmatize "Mental Health".  How about "Brain Health" instead?  No one gets all worked up about "Heart Health" and thinks "People will judge me if they know I am on Cholesterol medication."  Yet,  many people fear others knowing they are depressed, in therapy or taking medications.

I have heard many people tell me, "Well, I have been taking (XYZ) medication for a few months now, but I am trying to get off of it."  I always think,  "WHY!? Is it helping you? Why would you get off something that has helped you feel better?"  I think people feel like they have to qualify why they are on something and then say they don't REALLY need it- it is just temporary to help them through a tough time.  I believe this is because people don't want others to think they are "crazy" or judge them for being on something for depression.  

I suppose it is Ironic that around a year ago when Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain both took their lives so close to each other,  I started a Podcast called "The Erin Show" about Suicide to give support to others and share a little of my story.  I never thought I would be talking about my own Dad's suicide.  

I now realize just how important it is to talk about suicide and depression.  It truly can save someone's life.  I used to hide from others that I took an antidepressant, but I decided a while back to be very open with people about taking medication.  I can't help anyone if I am hiding the truth.  I encourage others to share they take medication and not be afraid others will judge them.  As people start to open up about taking these drugs,  it will defuse the stigma around taking them!  It is so ridiculous that people hide this and are ashamed of it.  Why be ashamed of doing what your body and brain needs?

Not taking an antidepressant (or other appropriately prescribed drug that helps the brain with the lack of chemicals needed to cope) has probably killed far more people in this world from Suicide than the actual pills have done harm to people.  One study showed that nearly 25 Million people have taken their own lives.  That is a staggering and sobering statistic.  

25 Million People!  That is more than any War fought.  The amount of heartache and sorrow generated from those people taking their own lives is overwhelming! And now I am once again feeling their sorrow so deeply.  

This should be at the top of our National Health agenda and yet it is not.  Mainly because it is thought that it is voluntary.  However, what is the root cause of these suicides is our Brain functioning and our coping mechanisms.  

If you have ever been Suicidal, you know that everything else in the world disappears and all you know is how deeply painful your life has become.  There seems no way out of that suffering.  You are not thinking about anyone other than yourself and your pain at that moment.  I know, because I have been there myself.  It is so frightening to feel like that.  I don't want you or anyone to think I am judging you.  I am not.  I don't judge my dad for what he did.  I am heart broken. I am devastated he felt so lonely and afraid in his last moments on this Earth.  It makes me happy he is out of his pain, however.  

Yet,  for anyone who has had this happen to a loved one,  it is a very heavy burden to bear.  It is pain that never really goes away.  There are days that I feel fine, and others that the pain is so heavy I can barely breathe.  

When my brother called me to tell me, he said, "Erin, I just got off the phone with (my stepmom) and Dad killed himself."  Followed by silence.  

I was so stunned that I felt like I sat there with my mind whirlling forever, but it was probably just a split second.  My brother is a joker and was the class clown, so my first thought was, 'He must be kidding. No way would dad do that.' Then, of course, my brain acknowledged, 'No way in hell would he be kidding about dad killing himself.'

My first words were, "What? No.  No way."  At least I think they were because I was in Shock and I can't really remember what I said...  All I remember was it felt like the world ground to a halt and I was in slow motion trying to grasp what had just been said to me.  

"Yes, Erin. This morning," he said compassionately.

"What? How? Why, why would he do that?" I started to cry, completely dumbfounded and reeling from shock, disbelief and horror.

My brother gently told me what had happened and what he had been told.  He tried to comfort me because he knew how close I had been with my dad.  We both told each other how much we loved each other and said we would be heading there to be with my stepmom.  

After I hung up,  I crumpled up on the floor and sobbed uncontrollably.  My heart literally felt like it was tearing in two pieces.  My cat was the only other being there and she came over and gently nuzzled against me trying to comfort me.  I held her and cried sobbing until I could get up.  My mind was racing and I felt like I had just been spun around like a top.  I didn't know what to do.  

I called my husband who was at the doctor and told him sobbing and trying to make sense.  He immediately said, "I'm leaving and I will be right there.  I am so sorry, sweetie.  I love you. I'll be home soon."  

No words can really express that level of grief and sorrow.  As I said, I have had other people I love who took their own lives.  However, nothing can prepare you for losing someone to suicide, especially a parent, who helped give you life, raise you and protect you when you were little.  It is difficult enough having a parent die.  Knowing they did this to themselves is a whole different level of sorrow and loss.

Unless you have experienced this yourself,  it is difficult to truly understand, and I don't wish this on anyone.  I hope you never have to experience this.   I don't know if I will ever not feel this pain when I think of my dad.  My brother is better at focusing on the good times and fun we had with him.  And I know I will get there someday.  

Perhaps it is because I am so empathetic that I suffer from depression.  When you feel emotions very deeply,  it can be a blessing and a curse.  I certainly do where my heart on my sleeve, and so did my dad.  This can make you much more creative and artistic, but it can also be a weapon you use against yourself that can drag you down into despair if you don't keep it in check.  

I want you to know, that even though I am still suffering, I see the beauty of life.  I see the beauty in YOU.  I wrote this article today to help those who feel lost and lonely.  To help those who are sad and feel like they may never feel happy again.  If this is you,  please know that there are so many people out there who love you. Some who you have never even met.  

If my Dad had told even one person that he was Suicidal,  this might not have happened.  If you are depressed and suicidal, Please tell someone who can help you.  I have had people email me who I did not know personally admit they were suicidal and there is nothing I can do other than tell them to please get help and give them the Suicide hotline.  The only way to truly get help is to be honest with someone who will be there to support you and get you help.  

If you don't have someone you can talk to,  you need to be brave enough to find a Psychiatrist and get help for yourself.    I pray that you get better and find happiness again! You deserve to be happy!  We all do!

You can email me if you need support and I will try to help, but I will always tell you to find support close to you as well.  That is the key to breaking out of whatever you are feeling.  Research has proven that all of us crave human connection as one of our basic human needs.  

Most of all, I want you to know that I am rooting for you.  If you can find the strength to keep going,  there is so much beauty waiting for you in this life if you seek it out.  Yes, life can be extremely difficult.  But Life can also be extremely beautiful.  You will see that beauty return if you hold on.  And I pray that you do.  

Thank you for reading my story. I love you all.

God bless you and Keep you,

Erin XOXO

My Email: bellavidasb@gmail.com

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-8255

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Note: You can also online chat with someone at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24 hours a Day every day of the year.  It's free, private and confidential.  

By going to their website, you can find a Local Crisis Center and you can get help,  or you can get information on how to Volunteer, Donate and help support the incredible work they are doing to save lives.  

Please share this post to help others who are suffering from losing someone to Suicide or who are suicidal themselves.  Thank you.  XO

Here are some more resources:

Bipolar Symptoms:  https://www.psycom.net/bipolar-disorder-symptoms/

[orbemnews]

What was Germanwings co-pilot's mental state? Story highlights Investigators believe Andreas Lubitz deliberately crashed Germanwings Flight 9525, killing himself and 149 others Lubitz suffered from anxiety and depression symptoms dating back to 2009, French newspaper reported Doctor: It’s ‘rare for depression to cause people to kill other people’ (CNN) —   Barring a revelation from his parents or girlfriend, we may never know what was going through the mind of Andreas Lubitz in the moments leading up to the crash of Germanwings Flight 9525. What we now know is that all indications point to Lubitz as the perpetrator of the crash, locking the pilot out of the cockpit and setting the aircraft on a fatal trajectory into a remote mountain range in the French Alps. Every day, more details come to light, as the world struggles to make sense of why a 27-year-old German man would apparently choose to deliberately crash a plane with 150 people on board, including himself – and remain so calm while doing it. When investigators searched Lubitz’s home in Dusseldorf, they found medical leave notes “slashed,” suggesting Lubitz was hiding an illness or illnesses from his employers. The dates for which Lubitz was excused from work included the day of the crash, though investigators have not yet revealed the reason he was excused, if any reason was written on the notes by his doctor. We do know, from a German aviation source, that Lubitz passed his annual pilot recertification examination last summer. An official with Lufthansa, the parent company of the budget airline Germanwings, said that the exam only tests physical health, not psychological health. “He was 100% fit to fly without restrictions,” Lufthansa CEO Carsten Spohr told reporters at press conference last week. “His flight performance was perfect. There was nothing to worry about.” Spohr added that Lubitz had “interrupted” his training, which he began in 2008. That break lasted several months, he said, but that such an interruption isn’t uncommon. Lubitz suffered from “generalized anxiety disorder,” with severe depression symptoms dating back to 2009, according to French newspaper Le Parisien. While the main medical clinic in Dusseldorf denies it was treating Lubitz for depression, German investigators found antidepressant medications in Lubitz’s apartment, according to published reports that CNN has not yet been able to independently confirm. Die Welt, a German newspaper, over the weekend cited an unidentified senior investigator, who said Lubitz suffered from “severe subjective burnout syndrome” and severe depression. “Someone who has a significant depressive episode or depressive disorder will oftentimes get an antidepressant alone, and many times will have a good resolution of those symptoms,” CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta told Poppy Harlow Sunday on “CNN Newsroom.” “People who relapse or develop more of what is called a psychotic depression in addition may have symptoms of psychosis. Maybe they could be having delusions or hallucinations, but the idea is having breaks with reality.” One of the medications Lubitz was prescribed is said to be Agomelatine (an antidepressant medication), according to Le Perisien. Antidepressants can sometimes make people suicidal, especially those suffering from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Other times, they can make patients manic or psychotic. The drug’s list of warnings and precautions include metabolic changes – such as weight gain – and the potential for cognitive and motor impairment. “Has potential to impair judgment, thinking and motor skills; use caution when operating machinery.” In 2010, Lubitz received Olanzpine injections (an antipsychotic medication) “to treat OCD,” according to Le Perisien. Doctors advised Lubitz to be more active, practice a new sport and regain self-confidence. “This is a powerful medication,” said Gupta. “If this is true, it sort of reads into the severity of just how bad the psychosis was, at least at one point in his life.” There are other things besides psychosis for which the drug may be administered, but that’s the most common use. One of the side effects is blurred vision. Citing two officials with knowledge of the investigation, The New York Times Saturday reported that Lubitz sought treatment for vision problems that might have put his career at risk. If he was prescribed this medication as an injectable five years ago, was now taking it as an oral antipsychotic and wasn’t taking it because of it was causing these detrimental side effects, “that could be very concerning, as well,” said Gupta. Authorities have not ruled out that Lubitz’s vision problem could have been psychosomatic. Many people have been asking how likely it is that depression could result in this sort of horrific action. In a word: “Unlikely,” says Dr. Charles Raison, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Arizona. “Most people would just kill themselves,” he says. “It’s very, very rare for depression to cause people to kill other people. This leads me to believe there’s something else going on, like a personality character flaw.” Forensic psychologist Jeff Gardere agrees. “It has to be a very severe depression to the point that there’s a psychosis that’s a result of that depression,” he says. “That’s different than the schizophrenia part of psychosis. With this kind of depression, it’s so deep that you actually break with reality.” Remember, Lubitz was in his late 20s – and the odds of mental illness presenting at this age are much higher for someone in their 20s or 30s. “Sometimes people lose touch with reality slowly. Other times, they lose touch really quickly,” says Raison. “Bipolar psychotic states can develop in as little as a day or two. I’m most curious what was going on in this guy’s life the week before this happened. Did anyone see any changes with his behavior? Did he stop sleeping? There’s a pretty good chance something would come up in speaking with the people in his life.” “If a story doesn’t make sense, it means you don’t have the real story,” says Raison. “Even people who are psychotic will tell you a crazy story. It’s crazy, but it makes sense.” More details are needed on Lubitz’s story. Perhaps the most chilling revelation so far is that Lubitz not only decided to do what he did, but that he ignored the pilot’s pleas to think about the lives on board and change his mind. “It tells you he’s at peace with what he’s doing,” says Raison. “If you were uncertain or anxious, you might still open the cabin door (when the pilot was banging on the door and yelling to be let in). Calm determination to do this tells you he really believed in what he was doing.” “If you look at school shooters, they go into a dissociative state,” says Gardere. “They’ve been planning for quite some time. They go into this personality where they can calmly go into murder mode – robotic and calm. Even when they’re shooting or doing something rageful, they behave in a calm manner. (Lubitz) knew when he got onto that plane that he wasn’t coming back.” On Monday, Britain’s most senior psychiatrist told CNN’s Christiane Amanpour that when a pilot is “acutely depressed or suffering from… any mental illness” that impairs his or her ability to fly, he or she cannot fly an aircraft. “We don’t let pilots fly with depression, not because we’re worried that they’re going to murder everybody on board. That’s such an extraordinary possibility that – that’s not depression – but because they’re impaired in concentration, memory and attention, which isn’t good for a pilot,” said Sir Simon Wessely, president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists and an adviser to the British army. Wessely added that the Germanwings plane crash might open a discussion on “relaxing the laws of (doctor-patient) confidentiality in different countries,” though in the United Kingdom, as well as in many other countries, a doctor is obliged to go to the authorities if he or she believes that people are genuinely being put at risk by one of their patients. CNN’s John Bonifield contributed to this report. Source link Orbem News #copilots #Germanwings #Mental #state

[whispelanix]

Suicide “Masterpost” By A Suicidal Person

Hi everyone. I’ve decided to do something different with my time today instead of posting dumb memes and mediocre art. I think I’ve made it clear based upon the title of this post.

Now you may be thinking – “Why are you doing this? What events occurred to make you suddenly want to talk about such a topic!?” Allow me to explain:

I personally, am currently experiencing severe depression and suicidal thoughts and it’s been going on for years, the suicidal part being more recent. Today Australia held an interview this morning on the topic of teen suicide and how we stay silent on the agenda. As someone who is struggling, I thought that instead of contemplating my own life, I could help spread awareness to save another.

Continue on further if you shall since I will dive into sensitive topics. The choice is up to you entirely, but if you want a better grasp of understanding, I will do my best to explain different areas of this situation.

So read on if you may, as I give you a “Suicide Masterpost Presented by a Suicidal Person”.

Let’s start with the basics. First of all: What is depression?

Depression is a common medical condition which can be often described as being in a really dark place that’s difficult to escape from and can create the feeling of numbness. Naturally, everyone can feel sad or low from time to time. It can last for months to even years and a lot of the time, occurs without reason. Depression is more than just that – it’s a serious condition that affects your mental and physical health.

How does this relate to suicide?

The links between depression and suicide are generally quiet strong. In fact, about 2/3 of people who commit suicide are depressed at the time of their death. Here are some more statistics…

·         One of every 16 people diagnosed with depression eventually go to end their lives through suicide

·         The risk of suicide in people suffering major depression is 20 times that of the general population

·         People who have experienced multiple episodes of depression are at greater risk of suicide than those who have only experienced one episode

·         Those with dependence on alcohol or drugs in addition to being depressed are at even greater stakes for suicide

Does self-harm have anything to do with this?

Absolutely. A lot of people cope with depression this way as it usually gives the person a sense of feeling against the emotional numbness. Self-harm is generally a coping mechanism, but can become a habit as they search for a relief from the stress. There are many different names given to self-harming. Some of them being:

·         Cutting

·         Self-mutilation

·         Self-inflicted violence

·         Parasuicide

·         Self-abuse

Cutting isn’t the only form of self harm, however. Many other behaviours are:

·         Overdosing of medication or drinking poison

·         Burning your skin

·         Scratching your skin which results in bleeding or welts

·         Picking your skin

·         Pulling your hair

·         Hurting yourself with fists or other objects

·         Punching walls or objects to hurt yourself

Keep in mind though, not everyone who is depressed hurts themselves, just like not every suicidal person is depressed. But self-harm can eventually trigger suicidal thoughts, as simply hurting yourself might eventually not be enough to cope with the emotional pain.

What are the common signs of depression and suicidal thoughts?

No two people experience depression or suicide in the same way. Multiple events can cause a person to feel like they’re not worth anything and that the world is a better place without them.

Common signs of depression are constant tiredness, being annoyed by small things, too little or too much sleep, eating too little or too much, chances of physical pain, lack of self-care, isolation, lack of interest, numbness, beating yourself up, forgetfulness, lack of concentration and suicidal thoughts.

Signs of suicide are threatening to hurt oneself, searching ways to end their life, or just having someone generally talking or writing about suicide, especially if the behaviour is very out of character for that person.

Many of these signs are experiences that should not be ignored, even if it’s just one of them.

How many people commit suicide annually?

Approximately one million people commit suicide each year worldwide. This equals to about one death every 40 seconds or 3,000 suicides per day. For every individual who takes their life, at least 20 of them attempt. The global morality rate of suicide is if 16% for every 100,000 people.

Who can I talk to if I’m experiencing depression or suicidal tendencies?

Here is a compiled list of suicide hotlines from around the world. I’ve included names of the country/continent/city in their main languages as well for non-English speakers (despite the fact that everything has probably been translated depending on where you currently live):

Argentina: +5402234930430

Australia: 131114

Austria (Österreich/Avstrija/Ausztria/): 017133374

Belgium (Belgique/België/Belgien): 106

Bosnia & Herzegovina (Bosna i Hercegovina/Босна и Херцеговина): 080 05 03 05

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil (Brasil): 212339191

Canada – Inside Montreal (Dans Montréal): 5147234000

Canada – Outside Montreal (Hors de Montréal): 18662773553

Croatia (Hrvatska): 014833888

Denmark (Danmark): +4570201201

Egypt (مصر): 7621602

Finland (Suomi): 010 195 202

France: 0145394000

Germany (Deutschland): 08001810771

Holland: 09000767

Hong Kong (香港): +852 2382 0000

Hungary (Magyarország): 116123

India (इंडिया): 8888817666

Ireland (Éireann): +4408457909090

Italy (Italia): 800860022

Japan (日本):  +810352869090

Mexico (Méjico):  5255102550

New Zealand: 045861048

Norway (Norge): +4781533300

Philippines (Pilipinas): 028969191

Poland (Polska): 5270000

Russia (Россия/Росія/Rusiya): 0078202577577

Spain (España): 914590050

South Africa (Suid-Afrika/Iningizimu Afrika/Mzantsi Afrika): 0514445691

Sweden (Sverige/שוועדן/Ruotsi): 46317112400

Switzerland (Schweiz/Suisse/Svizzera): 143

United Kingdom: 08457909090

USA: 18002738255

Who else could I talk to for further assistance?

If you need to talk to someone you can get to know, one of the best options would be a psychologist or a counsellor. That way, you can get to know one another and hopefully not have to repeat the same story over and over again. Talking to a parent or a friend can help in situations as well for when you have no one to talk to. Remember that getting problems off your chest is more effective than bottling them up.

I’m too afraid to talk to anyone. I’m scared no one will want to listen. What should I do?

Take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself before talking to someone about your problems. Depression can stand in the way of seeking any assistance and that alone is very risky. A good website to check out is Students against Depression. I’ll provide a link to all of my sources in the end.

What can I do about medication?

NEVER put yourself on antidepressants without guide from a professional. Different medication can put you on a high at first, but slowly bring down your mood even more then you wanted, further fuelling your depression and/or suicidal thoughts. Visit a psychiatrist who can help with the diagnosis and give recommendations of the best medication suited for your needs. Always do research on side effects of your prescribed medication as well so you know what you’re in for.

No one will miss me. Why bother?

NEVER say that. That is the biggest lie you could ever get yourself to believe. Suicide isn’t just squashing another ant on the face of the earth. It’s the removal of an entire existence of a being. The most tragic thing a person can do is end it all. When you go ahead and kill yourself, that’s it. It’s over… forever.

Let’s say someone you know decides to “leave this world” so to speak. You don’t get to see them again. A whole personality has been wiped off by a preventable situation. Everything that person has went through – from taking their first steps, the birthdays that were celebrated, the moments they laughed, the moments they cried, the people they met and the sights they saw. It’s vanished all with that one person. Each experience of life is unique – no two people are the same but everyone should be treated equally. Whether you know a person or not, the knowledge that someone you’ve made contact with has killed themselves is horrific. Having to wake up one day knowing you have to move on whether you like it or not is heartbreaking. Depression and suicidal thoughts make you blind to how much people actually care, which is devastating. The effect is has on the world around you is permanent. Don’t ever let yourself think that way.

How can I distract myself?

Find things you enjoy doing, whether it’s watching a movie, listening to music or reading a good book. Anything as long as it makes you happy.

Sources:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression

https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/clinical-resources/depression/what-is-depression

http://www.211palmbeach.org/links-between-suicide-and-depression

https://www.youthbeyondblue.com/understand-what's-going-on/self-harm-and-self-injury

http://www.health.gov.au/mentalhealth

https://www.healthyway.com/content/common-symptoms-of-depression-that-shouldnt-be-ignored/?param4=hwy-google-ppc-aunz-de&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=signs%20and%20symptoms%20of%20depression&utm_campaign=998820936&adgroupid=48935477723&network=g&creative=235821275988&device=c&devicemodel=&matchtype=b&adposition=1t2&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIj8iz-6fC2QIVmQgqCh26wwGXEAAYAiAAEgKxVvD_BwE

https://save.org/about-suicide/warning-signs-risk-factors-protective-factors/

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/234219.php

http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

http://studentsagainstdepression.org/get-support/building-support-networks/whats-stopping-you-getting-help/

[gurubuckaroo]

A Tumblr looks at 50

Tomorrow, the 21st of February, I turn 50 years old.

#what are you going on this hell site #delete your account #go pay taxes or something #hes literally twice the ops age

Go ahead, get it out of your system. Those are all things I’ve had replies to me tagged with. A lot of people think a lot of things about people my age being on Tumblr, and they’re not shy about saying it. If there’s one -ism I’ve learned that’s perfectly acceptable to most Tumblr users, it’s ageism. That doesn’t bother me. The last time I got anonymous hate, I donated to the ACLU on their behalf.

There are a lot of things being old (ugh) means. There are a lot of things it doesn’t mean. I don’t deserve your respect because of my age. It doesn’t make me better, or wiser, or smarter or more educated. It doesn’t make me more interesting.

The only thing I’ve got on you is that I’ve had a lot more time to make mistakes than you have. And boy have I taken advantage of those opportunities.

They say people can’t learn from the mistakes of others - they have to make their own, and only then do they learn the lesson. Well, that may be. Maybe it’s true for my generation but not yours. Maybe if I can prevent just one person from making some of the mistakes I’ve made in my life, this will be worth it.

Stop hating yourself. There are plenty of people out there willing to do it for you. Don’t be like them.

Stop berating your talent. You think your art is bad. Your music is bad. Your cosplay is bad. You know what? Everyone who has ever expressed a talent feels the same way about theirs. If there’s one constant about artists, it’s that they always feel like their own stuff is trash. Stop being your worst critic. Again, plenty of other people out there willing to do that job. You don’t want to be like them, so don’t agree with them.

Drink. Do drugs. Or not. But always in moderation. Moderation in all things - including moderation. Be moderate in your moderation. Although stay away from crack, cocaine, heroin, and anything prescribed - unless it’s your prescription (more on that later). I’ve seen those first three kill far too many friends. Worse, some of those killed are still walking around, pretending to be alive.

If you’re going to do LSD or other hallucinogens, do it with someone you trust who’s done it before. Bad trips happen - but almost always because of something you or your tripmates bring in with them. An experienced tripguide can walk you back out of a bad trip. Never do it alone. It’s almost impossible to have a bad experience on shrooms, but they might give you stomach cramps - if so, make tea out of them instead of eating them.

Take your Brain Pills. If you’ve been prescribed antidepressants or some other psychoactive meds, take them. My first psychologist appointment was when I was 5. I’ve literally fought clinical depression my entire life, to the extent that I was hospitalized for 45 days just before my 18th birthday. It’s not something to be ashamed about any more than having Diabetes or Sickle Cell or Grave’s Disease or Autism. Depression, Schizophrenia, Bipolar, these are all brain diseases, not failings, and taking medication for them is how you treat them. If you’re terrible about remembering whether or not you’ve taken your meds, they sell pill bottles now with caps that show how long it’s been since you opened it last. They’re great for my chronic pain meds. If you can’t afford them, you’ve got a Tumblr - make a draft post and update it every time you take a pill.

Don’t over-rely on safe spaces and trigger warnings. I can hear you now - “Oh here he comes, about to call us all snowflakes or something.” On the contrary. Safe spaces are wonderful. My wife is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and teenage sexual assault. I worked for most of our (so far) 27 year marriage helping her to heal, only to see so much work thrown out because of a well-placed trigger from someone who proudly considers herself a SJW and doesn’t care who she offends.

The mental immune system we build up in our psyche is every bit as important as the biological immune system we build up in our bodies. Excessive trigger warnings are no less damaging than refusing vaccination, and can in some cases be triggering themselves. In both cases, the individual will be perfectly fine living in a sealed bubble, but will be completely unable to survive in the world at large. Like biological defenses, the young brain is the best at developing coping mechanisms. As individuals age, those systems become more difficult, and more traumatic, to develop. I’m not suggesting that there should be no trigger warnings or safe spaces. I am suggesting that, like in all things, moderation is the best course.

Fact-check. Snopes is your friend. Google Reverse Image Search is your friend. You may really want to believe that new rumor from a .info site. It takes 20 seconds to check before you powerslam “reblog.” It could save your reputation. It could save someone else’s. (Oh, and any website ending in .info is trash. That domain costs the least to register, so it’s essentially disposable). And for god’s sake, don’t believe everything Anonymous says. Bryan P. Willman, a part-time police dispatcher, had his life ruined because Anonymous claimed he was the shooter who killed Mike Brown, and half of Tumblr and Facebook reblogged the accusation without pause.

Be yourself. Shakespeare said it - “This above all else: to thine own self be true.” Of course, knowing him, it was probably an elaborate dick joke that I still don’t get. But it’s still true. Capital-T True. Possibly the biggest Truth I’ve ever learned.

See, we all like to have friends. And we start off thinking that the best way to have friends is to be what our friends what us to be. Doesn’t help that we probably don’t really know what our friends want us to be, but that’s beyond the point. The problem starts when we end up feeling like we’re being drawn and quartered - because we are trying to be all things to all people. God help young people today who have potentially hundreds of friends through Tumblr or such - they’re trying to be perfect in the eyes of too many observers. Throw social forces into this, and we start to try to be perfect to entire movements. It cannot be done.

There’s another perfect truth we have to realize. It’s simple and absolute: People are jerks. Not all the time, and not to everyone! But we are. And here’s why: We’re all individuals. At some time, we’re going to rub someone the wrong way. And if we’re trying to be exactly what everyone else wants us to be, we’ll end up being jerks to everyone. If we’re true to ourselves, we’ll only be jerks to those who just naturally deserve it. Because we aren’t trying to be perfect for the wrong people.

Be yourself. First and foremost. Be the best yourself you can be, but be it because you are it, not because someone else wants you to be it. Let’s face it, other people quite probably don’t have your best interests at heart. If being yourself means that you don’t fit well with a few people, that’s OK - because it means you will fit better with some others.

When you first met the people you call friends, you probably acted like yourself. Because you didn’t know what they wanted yet. Imagine how much more they’ll like you when you go back to being that person they first met, rather than being a mirror.

Regrets are OK. Self-recrimination is not. There are so many decisions I’ve made in my past that I regret. One decision I made I will never be content with, even though I know (then and now) it was the correct action. My regret from that is purely for my own lost chance. Every once in a while I look back through hindsight and say “well maybe it would have been OK to make the other choice”, but I know I’m lying to myself. I just end up wallowing in self-pity over having lost the experience. Don’t be like me. I’m still trying to learn this one. It’s possible I never will.

You will hurt people. Don’t be afraid to apologize.  Some of my actions ended up hurting people - some accidentally, some deliberately, some through sheer childishness. I’ve managed to apologize to most of the people I’ve hurt. A few have left this world before I got the chance, or the courage, to face my own failings. And in almost every case, it was my own failing that hurt them. Growth comes when we recognize our own failings, and learn to overcome them. And if we’re going to grow, we’ll need a good ecosystem - and that means friends, who may be hurting because of what we did.

Life is too short to spend with toxic people. There can be a case made that you become an “adult” when you no longer need to tolerate toxic people. This is especially the case regarding parents. I first cut my father out of my life (to my mother’s delight) when I was 11 and refused to come visit him over the holidays. Later we attempted a reconciliation - that experiment lasted 3 terrible years. Since then, I’ve exchanged maybe an hour’s worth of words with him, over three in-person visits and a few phone calls. I doubt I’ll attend his funeral, should he ever get his shit together enough to die.

Unfortunately, there will always be times when you have to tolerate toxicity. Usually at the workplace. The really nasty stuff can often be abated (but not always cured) with a trip to Human Resources - but not always. At least, not yet. Things in the workplace are better now than they’ve ever been, regarding this at least. One can only hope the trend continues.

Life is an experience. Don’t be afraid of it. Imagine yourself on a roller coaster. You’re locked into the car, and slowly it starts climbing the first hill - clack clack clack - and the ground is falling away, and ahead you see the turn. Excitement builds. You crest the hill - and pull quietly into the station. Oh boy, can’t wait to try that again, right? Life exists in the dips, the valleys, the turns and rolls.

Every day you keep pushing through, every day that you groan and pull yourself out of bed anyway, every day you curse while tying your shoes, pulls you kicking and screaming through life. I’m not going to promise you it’ll put you one day closer to your dream job, or one day closer to happiness, or contentment, or whatever. Life isn’t about reaching a goal. It’s an experience. And every day you keep moving, you get to keep having that experience - the highs and the lows. And the highs make the lows so very much worth it.

If you’re still hung up on my age, and think someone my age doesn’t belong on Tumblr, tell me - at what age are you going to give up your fandoms and delete your account?

[newhologram]

“mind over matter” = spoonie torture?

Been thinking a lot lately how this dangerous this attitude about pain is... the one where doctors, family, and friends think that if only we could *~change our attitude~* about the pain, then we would be magically pain free and no longer disabled.

It’s simply not true. 

And I’m now realizing that for years, I was essentially being tortured by my doctors and this attitude and the kinds of harmful idea it gives people who don’t experience chronic, debilitating pain. 

They made me endure so much pain for years without actual pain meds, or treatment other than antidepressants. Each doctor appointment was just pressuring me into trying other pills, since the pain was making my already existing depression dip into very dangerous places again. Hello, the several times I can count (even in the past month) that I went to go kill myself in the past almost 5 years... not counting all the days I spent paralyzed in bed because I was overwhelmed with the urge to die because it’s all I knew what to do to make the pain stop and I wanted to stop being a burden to everyone around me. I felt that to die would be to set my family free and let them have happy lives. I was willing to make that sacrifice because I saw myself as less than dirt because I was sick. Pain fucks with your head BIG TIME.

Yes, our brains feel the pain, but this pain isn’t just a random psychological thing. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if the pain is just “nerves going haywire” like the docs told me was all my fibromyalgia pain was (when really, it was fibromyalgia + colitis + narcolepsy + literally growing up with a borked spine, all of which cause widespread body pain!! hello!!! you went to school for how many years?!!). It doesn’t matter if the pain “doesn’t have a source” like they made me believe.

When someone is in so much pain that it disrupts their life, they need help, not scolding. The ER doctor told me I just needed to be stronger and get therapy. My dad repeatedly over the years told me that I just “had to get better” because me being sick was so inconvenient for him. HAD TO get better, as if I was doing something wrong. As if it was just me not being mentally strong enough to handle the pain, when it was literally exhausting, searing spinal and fullbody pains tearing me apart on a daily basis, year-round.

It made me feel even more like a failure. Like I wasn’t strong enough since I couldn’t do “mind over matter” and just magically not feel the horrible pain anymore even though I worked so hard at meditation and self-care. I was nothing, nothing, nothing.

Yes, things like meditation and other coping techniques can be hugely important and helpful for allowing us to adjust to a life in constant pain. You guys know that I meditate, I journal, I have badbrain wrangling techniques, I do visualizations and positivity practice. I work really hard at it because my brain is traumatized mush that thinks weird things constantly. There is so much I do under the surface, on top of all my supplements and self-care routines and treatments, just to lower my pain levels even for only a few minutes. 

But this “oh just change your attitude about it! = cured!!” idea about what pain is nearly killed me. Not the illnesses themselves, but the ideas around them. 

I’m still trying to reconcile the fact that so many times, I almost went and took my own life, because I was so so so so sick and suffering, and everyone just treated me like it was my fault for not being strong willed enough to make the pain go away with my own brainpower. 

Bullshit. We are so strong willed to make it through each day in pain. We aren’t weak for needing relief. Pain fucking sucks. Being in bed all day in horrible pain fucking sucks.

This is a conversation I want to be having on a much bigger scale, because every time I see another damn spoonie suicide in the news, it breaks my fucking heart. None of us should be dying like that just because doctors and non-spoonies are so dense that they see us suffering and tell us it’s just a problem with us as people. No cure does not mean no relief. 

I appreciate that people compliment me and say that I’m “very strong” but I don’t really believe in that idea of strength because it implies that those who lost the fight were weak. I very nearly became just another sad story in the news. I almost lost the fight. I was almost “weak”.

I was suffering. It’s torture, to make us live this way and to tell us that we just need to change our way of thinking and if that doesn’t work then it’s our fault and we’re just weak and we “HAVE” to get better because we’re ruining things for our families. 

It’s part of a package. People in pain need treatment, care, relief from the pain, AND help with the mental and emotional part of it. 

Please please please be there for your spoonie loved ones. The ones who suffer in silence are usually the ones we lose. Don’t mistake the silence for a lack of pain. I’ve been pretty vocal about this from the start and I devoted a lot of effort to teaching people about these illnesses and to helping guide other people who are just as lost as I was. But even then, I could have been lost too. 

There will be pain that we have to deal with anyway, but it doesn’t mean we have to endure torture every single day just because most of the world doesn’t get it. Most will never understand what it’s like to live every day in pain, especially as young people. We can still educate them. We can still help with awareness, even in small ways. 

Spoonies, please reach out if you’re struggling. It sounds cheesy, but you’re really not alone and it’s my promise that I will bring our lives to the front page so that more people will know we exist and how badass we are. Hang in there.

[naturopathycanada]

5 Health Tips From a Naturopath

As a naturopath (in a former life!) I was typically asked what recommendations I would certainly provide to assist my clients to improve wellness and wellbeing. Occasionally we need to look 'outside package'-- below are 5 naturopathy tips that can assist you get healthier ...

1. Listen To Your Body-- Don't Ignore it:

Some people obtain themselves into actually big trouble due to the fact that they neglect their body when it's delicately murmuring that something is wrong. Ie-- that scratchy rash that you slathered with cortisone cream isn't necessarily 'far better' or 'taken care of' even if it's gone away currently. The conditions in your body that created/ generated that rash are most likely still present, & you've made no effort to change what you're doing-- just whacked some lotion on 'make the sound go away'. That usually will not be the last of it-- usually that rash will re-emerge elsewhere, worse than before-- or you'll obtain a few other symptom (which might seem entirely unconnected) popping up.

One of our leading naturopathy pointers is never to disregard your symptoms! Symptoms are best dealt with as signals to pay greater interest to your wellness & make an adjustment, not as inconveniences to simply remove ASAP. You can even utilize ongoing light signs as a gauge to monitor where you go to, & to aid court if an adjustment you have actually made has actually been a good one for you. Regard your body's efforts to communicate with you-- if you neglect the murmurs, you'll need to manage some shouting later on!

2. Diagnosis & Treatment-- Shop Around, Obtain a Couple Of Point of views:

One more of our top naturopathy ideas is to always obtain a 2nd (also a 3rd, fourth & fifth) viewpoint when a Doctor suggests medication or surgical procedure, or any type of invasive therapy that comes with its own set of risks &/ or side effects. I speak to sooo many people who're medicated unnecessarily, who have actually undergone surgery when other choices would certainly have been much better. These are not decisions to ignore, this is your body & you deserve to question your professional & obtain an additional viewpoint or 3 if you feel also somewhat worried about the recommendations being given. I'm not suggesting that you disregard the diagnosis & suggestions of your professional, just placing it around that different specialists will have different methods, various training, different experience & various devices to work with your concerns. And no Dr has all the responses. You don't have to go with the first item of suggestions you're offered.

3. Diet-- Be Open to Change, Be Flexible:

No one really understands what diet is the best one for you-- regardless of what they may state! But if you're not really feeling 100% on your existing diet plan, it makes good sense to try something various. There are a great deal of people that feel terrific on a vegan diet plan, a great deal who really feel much better on a paleo diet, some just require to steer clear of dairy products or gluten ... some appear to grow on the blood group diet ... & then those who really felt excellent for some time on some diet or other then slid for no apparent factor.

We actually just know the tip of the iceberg regarding how our intestine functions, the means we absorb & take in nutrients & the interactions between the gut microbiome & our brain & immune system. My individual sensation is that we require to stay open & adaptable to try different strategies when we're 'out of order'. You can find negatives in almost every food if you look (also many vegetables), so don't flip out when you check out/ listen to something negative about among your favorites that you assumed was healthy-- perhaps it does have some harmful bits, however often the overall impact is a good one when you take into account all the great bits!

This is how many individuals have stumbled upon Blend11, our morning meal booster that has created such a big follower base! Word of mouth and individuals trialling it have found it to be so healthy and life-changing! So attempting new foods and diet regimen choices are absolutely among our leading naturopathy tips!

4. Care for Your Feelings-- They're A lot more Effective Than You Believe:

No matter just how healthy & balanced your diet plan is, or how active you are if you're feeling out of balance mentally. Unfavorable feelings can definitely trigger you to come to be unwell, specifically anything that takes place for too long without you acknowledging it, resolving it & overcoming it. Things like solid unhappiness, despair, loneliness, anger, work or relationship anxiety. We all have our obstacles & stress and anxieties, we wouldn't value the ups if there were no downs-- but, if there's something in your life that is a consistent niggle or a big loud disruption to your mental-emotional wellbeing, it requires to be taken care of as a top priority! Don't establish the assumption that you need to be a totally zen monk-like human being, however if you're placing all the concentrate on diet & workout, & asking yourself why you're not seeing outcomes-- look into the mental-emotional side of things. So one of the best naturopathy pointers I can give you is if you're not laughing, playing, attaching, finding out, testing on your own, unwinding ... doing whatever it is that really feels most nourishing to your spirit-- do something regarding that today !! And if there's an apparent stressor that is influencing you strongly, do something about that today as well. Often you simply require to change the way you're considering it, sometimes you require to make large scary changes.

5. Nature-- Obtain Amongst It! You Were Developed To!:

So easy in this insane concrete day & age to go for days/ weeks without spending quality time immersed in (and even touching) nature. If you live & operate in a home in the middle of a giant city, & have little downtime-- it can be especially difficult. A couple of naturopathy pointers to aid you 'remain connected':

Open your windows (unless your location is fairly polluted, let the sunshine & outside air right into your home-- it will certainly generate loads of all-natural & healthy microorganisms & avoid your indoor environment from going stale & expanding toxic mould). This could not be appropriate in spring if you're suffering a hayfever flare, but also for everyone else-- open!

Plant interior plants (they can aid filter & oxygenate your inside air, they bring in healthy and balanced microbes & they cheer up your room). Ask at your neighborhood baby room for plants that more than happy inside in pots, it doesn't fit them all!

Begin a veggie yard-- even if it's just a few natural herbs in pots on the veranda! Horticulture is a proven antidepressant, it can be quite meditative & very enjoyable-- plus you obtain all those beautiful dust microorganisms when you service it & when you include your uber-fresh fruit and vegetables into a dish.

Head to the coastline, lake, park, forest, ranch etc in your downtime. Breathe deeply, hug trees, play in the mud, rub the animals, roll in the fallen leaves/ sand, swim & don't wash too quickly ... get covered in microbes from healthy and balanced all-natural environments! You'll provide your immune system something to do, & present some 'old good friends' (microorganisms we progressed with) right into your individual microbiome.

Obtain an animal. Yes, they drop hair all over the place & walk dust from outdoors right into your house, & lick the youngster's faces-- but that really makes your room healthier! Overcome the decay & embrace your unpleasant pet dog. They make you healthier in many various other means also (studies in fact show that pet dog owners are happier & much healthier). Bear in mind that as you're sweeping hair & grabbing poo:-RRB-.

Buy farm fresh organic fruit & veg (shop at the marketplaces), or expand some of your own. Plants taken fresh from a healthy organic dirt ecological community have a totally various microbiome than those expanded on a chemical drenched traditional farm in chemically fertilized soil. Chemicals kill things/ interrupt ecosystems. Even if the produce looks & tastes the very same, you're not getting the exact same good pests with it. And pests can have a massive effect on your wellness. It's a good thing when you see a slug on the lettuce you've simply purchased ... it indicates the food you're consuming assistances life & that a living creature has actually chosen to consume it/ make it's house there ... it's far more frightening if you never ever discover creatures in your food!

The post “ 5 Health Tips From a Naturopath “ was first seen on goodmix.com by Brad & Jeanie

Boost your overall health and disease prevention with the help of naturopathic medicine. Contact your nearest naturopathic doctor - Dr. Amauri Caversan.

[ainthatjusthewayy]

The Answer

The weird thing about choosing to find out if you have Asperger’s is wanting the diagnosis to be yes. That was something that bothered me a little before I went in for an appointment. Regardless of whether or not I was classified by the DSM I recognized that people with Asperger’s had symptoms that reflected my own situation. Even though I don’t really know anyone with mild Asperger’s (to the extent of my knowledge) I felt a sense of community. Honestly, I’m not sure that I need to know other Aspies to be comforted by the fact that there are a lot of people who have been successful despite facing many of the same challenges as myself.

I worried though. If the answer was no then I wouldn’t be any better off than before. There was this part of me that feared that I didn’t fit in anywhere. I would just have all these problems but without a label for it I wouldn’t be able to get help specific to what I had been feeling.

What concerns me now is that there have to be people who go in thinking they’ve found the answer at last but then due to a doctor or therapist who doesn’t listen and understand, or because their problems aren’t considered severe enough, they wind up even more lost before. Maybe it’s a good thing that their problems aren’t severe enough that they have Asperger’s but for someone who wants to know why they don’t fit in to go through the waiting and the discussions, those who read up on ASD or watch videos of Aspies and see themselves in them, for them to find out that they don’t have Asperger’s could be harder than finding out that they do.

A diagnosis isn’t a solution. I still have to deal with the negative side effects of having a brain that overanalyzes everything, of being unable to fall asleep because I can’t turn off my thoughts, of struggling to drive, socialize, or cope with my anxiety. But I have the piece of mind that it isn’t all in my head and that I haven’t just sabotaged myself for the sympathy of others. That’s how screwed up it is to be depressed. You feel guilty for not being happy. You question whether you’ve caused your own problems and pulled everyone else down into them. It isn’t your fault, but you really begin to believe that it is and that’s how depression forces you back into the darkness.

Being diagnosed makes it easier for me to help myself. I’ve been reassured that this is just how I was made. Accepting the help of others also feels more justifiable. One of the reasons it took so long for me to get better and find out about this side of me was that I struggled with seeing a counselor. My parents had to get me to appointments and pay for them and I felt like I was just an inconvenience. I felt responsible for making myself better all on my own so that every setback made me blame myself more and get dragged farther down. I understand now how important it is for me to work with someone who knows what I need.

On top of all that, there’s still a big stigma around medication for these kinds of things. We tell ourselves that we don’t need it, that we can get by without it. Why would we want that though? People don’t want to know that you’re on antidepressants because they have to acknowledge the fact that you have been depressed. They think that if you aren’t taking them then you’re not really depressed and that comforts them.

This backwards thinking is why people feel ashamed of taking medication that makes them not feel depressed and why people go untreated. A lot of people could benefit from seeking out the help that allows them to feel like themselves. If only antidepressants didn’t have the word depress in it maybe everyone wouldn’t shy away from it.

Anxiety is like my allergy. Different scenarios can cause me to react negatively to stimuli. Instead of anaphylaxis I could have a panic attack or fall into a melancholic state. Even if my anxiety can’t immediately kill me I’d still rather take a pill every morning than walk around feeling like I can’t breathe.

If anyone ever reads this, especially anyone who has felt the answer they were looking for slip through their fingers, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. Keep looking. Keep hoping. One day you may find someone who really gets you. You don’t need a label for that.

[lazilyfreshtheorist]

5 Effects Of Untreated Depression In Men That Will Turn Your World Upside Down

5 Effects Of Untreated Depression in men show that Women and Men react differently

5 effects of untreated depression in men and women are different. There are many people with adult depression. They have a sense of shame towards other people. Unnecessarily, many suffer because they are afraid to go into treatment. The most significant barrier seems to be that it is a mental illness. You do not have to be ashamed or hide. Trust this problem with your family and your closest friends. 5 effects of untreated depression in men shows that the man is still thinking in old roles. Only a doctor can treat severe depression. The altered chemical processes cause stress in your brain. Serotonin plays a significant role in this process. The mind of a depressed person can not compensate for serotonin deficiency. There is not enough, and the brain can't use the little that is there. Depression becomes a severe illness without medical treatment. It causes far-reaching other physical damage. 5 effects of untreated depression in women are different in some ways If the acute type, the so-called clinical depression, remains untreated, the likelihood of dependence increases. It could be drug or alcohol problems. Not rare, it will also be a problem in the private and professional environment. I'm talking about diverging relationships or issues in the workplace. In some cases, it goes up to suicidal tendencies. Overcoming serious illnesses is another problem in the 5 effects of untreated depression in men. The construction of the human organism is so that it continually tries a self-repair. In many cases of depressive illness, this is also true. This self-healing must occur within four weeks. Otherwise, the research is now so far that one knows that this disease can last at least six months, at least in 75% of cases.

5 effects of untreated depression in men: the difference compared to women

Men: The symptoms of depression are different in men and women. In men, untreated clinical depression often expresses in anger, increased frustration, and violent behavior. The escape into drugs and alcohol is more common in males. Men find it more challenging to talk about their emotional problems out of social expectation. I used to hear the phrase from my grandmother: A boy does not cry! Yes, why not? However, there has recently been a tendency for men to seek more technical support. The higher suicide rate The fact is, men, kill themselves more often than women. If you have depression, you have a significant risk factor for suicide. The issue of testosterone deficiency has not adequately investigated yet. Scientists suspect that testosterone deficiency can increase the risk of depression with age. A married man is less likely to be depressed than a bachelor. This marriage factor plays a smaller role in women. A man is often unaware that symptoms such as headache, indigestion, and chronic pain can be signs of depression. Instead, women tend to take minor health problems more severely than men. 5 effects of untreated depression in women: more frequent diagnosis of depression Statistics show that doctors diagnose depression about twice as often as women compared to men. If one analyzes these data more precisely, the following picture emerges: It is not generally the "woman." Mostly those women, in particular, situations (double burdens, experiences of violence) that are affected. Depressive moods can also occur in women in the context of the so-called premenstrual syndrome (PMS). That is after birth and around the menopause. So far, it is not yet evident, in the 5 effects of untreated depression in men, whether hormones play the leading role. It can also play the life circumstances a sole lead role. Thus, epidemiological data do not indicate that the onset of depression is associated with menopause. 5 effects of untreated depression in men show women burdens Mainly women with multiple weights suffer from high levels of stress. When they have infants, have employment, and do the household. They have an increased risk of depression. It is not just the situation alone. It is also the pressure that is repeatedly exerted by related persons on them. By that, I mean the so-called "well-intentioned" advice. Women are more often victims of violence than men. Traumatic experiences through violence favor mental illnesses such as depression. To deal with depression, men resort more often to the drug alcohol. In women, there is a risk to get used to tranquilizers. 5 effects of untreated depression in men mean a disability, in women too Untreated depression can hinder you in your work, family, and social life. The consequential cost of untreated clinical depression is economically as costly as the treatments for heart disease or AIDS. The consequences of untreated depression are estimated to cause more than 200 million days lost worldwide each year. Annually costs more than $ 43.7 billion in absenteeism, loss of productivity, and direct treatment costs.

5 effects of untreated depression in men and complications

There are some problems with the non-treatment of the depressive illness. Some of the significant difficulties of untreated depression are: 1. Longer suffering time Any depressive disease leads to a higher personal burden, which has different intensities. Personal stress can occur in various forms. Relief or improvement can make the patient by doing something in time. He can, for example, change his sleeping habits. If necessary, he should also take appropriate medication to improve physical conditions, of course, on the advice of his doctor. If you do not take antidepressants, this unnecessary burden can put you at ease in everything you do. There are no awards for the tolerance of unnecessary physical or mental suffering. 2. Worsening of the symptoms The untreated depressive illness does not necessarily go away by itself. It has the opposite effect in several cases. Untreated depression can lead to more extended disease periods. The symptoms can get considerably worse over time. Especially when you are under stress or your relationship is getting worse. Worsening symptoms lead to even more discomfort and illnesses. It could come as an example of new physical diseases. Thoughts of self-harm or suicide in various forms can occur more frequently. Therefore, a psychiatrist must treat your depression. Ensure proper medical care before it is too late. 3. Suicide risk Depressive illness has the power to convince you that everything is hopeless. It assures you of a future that consists of perpetual suffering and despair. In the worst case, suicide appears as the only way out. That is highly distorted thinking due to a depressive illness. Looking at international research from different countries, almost 80% of suicides at the time of death had an uncontrolled depressive illness. A suicide death kills another 30 to 40 people who have injured themselves. Many of them due to an untreated depressive illness that they or their doctor did not recognize. A depressive illness is like an alien driver who controls your thinking and tries to kill you. 4. Damage to relationships People with a form of depressive illness make a typical impression on their fellow human beings. Well, the partner is in a bad mood today or lousy, the family member will think. Apart from your changed attitude and behavior, you are the human being as you know it. They will not "love" you as they used to. If you do not know about your depressive illness, you alienate yourself from your partner and your friends through your changes. The warning level is red for you if you want to punish your loved ones, for example, physically. If you wish to participate in daily life no longer outside of your room, stop attending events, or want to be left alone by everyone. You can see the same symptoms in untreated depression. Only, there is one exception, it is worse, as the symptoms of depression are more severe. Depression liberates people emotionally, mentally, and physically, making it challenging to be there for friends and family. Unfortunately, many relationships irreversibly collapse under it. If left untreated, the depressed person will continue to retreat, being more irritable, less able to do the typical tasks. She is also generally less interested in regular sexual activity. 5. Damage to children Depression in children and adolescents is often not recognized immediately. There can be different reasons for this: Delineation from healthy childhood development is difficult as transient depressive symptoms are part of puberty. Other adolescent behavioral problems are in the foreground. There is irritable and challenging behavior in the first place. That's why parents, teachers, and doctors occasionally overlook depression. The individual cases differ in their manifestations sometimes very from each other. Very often, fearing ridicule, families or teenagers seek help late. Extensive studies are indicating an increased risk of anxiety, poor self-esteem, and other physical and psychological symptoms in children with depressive parents. See depression in children. Depression is often different depending on the age in many cases. Before I come to the examples but still this note: The diagnosis of depression should always make a pediatrician or youth psychiatrist/psychotherapist. The same diagnostic criteria apply as in adults. In younger children, but you will not find some typical symptoms. Symptoms such as being irritated or confused, bored, pondering, dissatisfied with oneself, and the world are in turn part of healthy adolescent development. It is essential to pay attention to age-related characteristics. For a safe diagnosis, it is also vital to include the parents, teachers, educators, and other caregivers. The toddler (1-3 years): • it cries more often • his face is expressionless • It is easily irritable • the child can not be alone • rocking the body, sucking intense on the thumb • it is impassive • No lust to play • disturbed eating and sleeping behavior The preschool age (3-6 years): • a sad expression • reduced gestures and facial expressions • It is mood-defying and anxious • joyless • indifferent, without drive • lazy • inner restlessness, also aggressive • Eating and sleeping disorders A schoolchild (6-12 years): • It tells of his sadness • the brain shows difficulty concentrating and disorders • falls behind at school • has fears • inappropriate self-criticism • psychomotor disturbances • Eating and sleeping disorders • thinks of suicide Puberty and adolescence (13-18 years): • reduced self-confidence • Fears • mood swings • Daytime-dependent fluctuations in well-being • malfunctions • Feelings of not being up to the job • Risk of isolation • psychosomatic complaints • weight loss • Eating and sleeping disorders • suicidal thoughts Conclusion of 5 effects of untreated depression: The effects of untreated depression, as the article shows, can have severe consequences and effects on physical and mental well-being. Therefore, it is all the more important to recognize and treat the symptoms early on.   Read the full article

[atleastitsnotmeth]

like love is one of those things where it doesn’t take away love from someone else to give 100% to one person, and i think in the same way i 100% hate you but yeah also 100% of how much any one person can, i think, love a person so yeah all the feels, and i still have all my 100% feelings about other things and life and how hard it is to feel everything at full capacity when it goes through you, and why that’s better than living in a white bread world because every time i think i don’t care about anything here, or you know, don’t know what i want to do with my life etc. then i usually still have shitty things happen that feel just as shitty, every time, and it’s like as an adult you’re supposed to be able to handle your entire spectrum of emotions, regardless of whether it’s relative to reality, because it’s your reality, and i’m such an unreliable source when it comes to perception of reality, but of all my fears, uncertainties, insecurities and of every firewall i put up... for some reason i just really love you like stupidly, like if I’d only known you a month, i would know it was me projecting an idea of whatever i needed from a person... but i don’t need anything from you, or want anything from you, and I’m not afraid of being hurt because how someone feels about you shouldn’t affect how you love them, because you should love someone for there existing, not who they can be for you or whether you’re meant to be together...so what’s there to be afraid of? and it’s not love that gets hurt by not feeling it reciprocated, it’s the ego, or the expectations you think loving someone warrants you, when if you really love someone you ideally should just want them to be happy and feel loved and if you’re not what they need, then why would you want them to be in a relationship with someone they don’t feel the same way about? this is so self-righteous and easy to say in theory, but also I think a lot of the time we don’t even try to let our love come from a truly loving place, that is to say an unconditional place, which is really what distinguishes the difference between love and like, the more you love someone shouldn’t be proportionate to how attached you are to them, or they you, or how unwilling you are to “lose them”, and what they do with your love or how they regard that lovely beautiful thing you reflect of themselves back at them, with your love, then that’s up to them. but we should never take it lightly, nor should love feel like a pressure in any way, so stop half-assing your interpersonal relationships and let yourself fall in love with people without asssociating your self-worth with it being returned by the same people you value, because it is not about you that you love them, it’s because who they are, which changes, and romantic/closeness or even friendship-trust elements of how you love them, will too, and that’s natural, it’s ok, i think you’re just meant to help each other and fucking tell everyone you love or even if you’ve never loved anyone or anything as much as you love a particular human, fucking tell them, not because you want to get it out, not because you want them to answer your love like it’s a question, but because everyone worth you loving them, deserves to know it, in case nobody ever told them before, or loved the parts you do, or seen them in anything close to your perspective of them... maybe in your life you’ll see what it means to love someone and have the other things fluctuate around that, especially if you’re on antidepressants that kill your sex drive, or if you or they have had other shit that for whatever reason, life doesn’t seem to be pulling you together for that mission, or for periods of time, it will when you can be of the most help to each other, or learn the most from helping the other, etc. etc.  you get the point. It’s also fucking badass to wear your heart on your sleeve because the world needs that shit, radical fucking unselfish, unafraid, just appreciation of the parts of it that we happen upon and are glad we did, or are glad exists. No one single thing or person will outweigh the multitudes of horrors in contemplating existence, but your love shouldn’t come from a place of seeking to balance something with yourself, or balance your view of the world, it should just be recognition of when the feelings to attribute to a person or place or burrito shop, whatever, it doesn’t matter, but when you love something, project it as selflessly as you can, without expectations of it’s implications on the person, or whether the manager will give you a free burrito just because you told them you love their shop... it should be just because most people are so afraid of how their love will be treated if they were to light up to the fullest extent of their feelings of something, maybe they needed that light, maybe it’ll challenge their perspective that they are unlovable, 10-20 years down the track, they’ll always have to account for the anchor of that one person that just really genuinely loved them and they wont be able to cheapen it in their heads that you didn’t know them well enough, because they loved what they did know of you, and that is a part of you too, and you got nothing out of telling them, or sought to gain anything but maybe risking that love being abused and used, so you were brave enough to love them, and it not be shrouded by an ulterior motive, but instead your love was a reflection of themselves that can’t be discredited or undermined if you have the nerve to wear your heart on your sleeve, because it’s streaming from an infinite source of love that can’t be reckoned with, and does not relinquish sovereignty over itself just because it sends love out, love isn’t like a power that we give away, it’s beautiful and a waste of each other and ourselves to put parameters up, and even if you only end up growing your love to be that kind of nature for the sole purpose of using it as a coping mechanism to detach from how someone has hurt your heart that loved at it like a dog barking to another dog across the street, and then that dog attacked, or barked back or doesn’t feel like barking right now... or because you feel that you are not enough because the person you directed your love towards, didn’t have the same capability for love, or openess to it, as you do, or did, and hopefully will... because you can’t control the regard they have for your love, or whether they need it at all, because who’s to say what anyone needs, and being loved isn’t something that a person has to, or can consent to, because it’s not for them to say they don’t deserve it, or it’s misdirected... life is clearly telling them it’s not.... how you show your love needs to be consented to, and should be governed by your wanting them to not feel overwhelmed or violated or suffocated by it, just shine your light and of love and if they need it, whether because they are darkness outside of it, or because the lights around them now will fade soon and so we need to see love lighting up in others, or starting to light up in the people you meet, so you don’t disregard the nature of the how love shines and can seem or feel dimmed in the lanterns around you... like your mum can’t be ecstatic that you were born 24/7 till one of you dies, that’s not what 100% love is. 100% isn’t even it’s full capacity or reach of it’s glow, it’s just a light that isn’t going out any time soon, or any personality-trait-you-reveal-left-of-field soon, if someone loves you enough to tell you, you’re almost guaranteed, whether it is the wise form of selfless unconditional love or not, you’ve got at least 4 or 5 things you’re embarassed to like that you can tell them,  and (obvious crimes against humanity aside) sure sometimes 4 or 5 they wont love you less if they really loved you in the first place, and even if it’s that you were a bully in primary school or whatever, maybe they’ll know how to help you be better, for yourself, not for them though, of course. Likewise, don’t tell someone you love them if it is the selfish kind that is booby trapped with conditions and is based on someone’s “potential” or the boxes they tick, fuck that kind of shit right off, and you’ll learn what the real shit can bring out in you and those around you, so i don’t know about beats per minute, but your heart deserves to flow at 100% when it feels so naturally inclined, because it’s a really beautiful thing to be moved by, and to move with, and to move another with, because love never hurt anybody, just how it was delivered, or shown, or expected to be received, or used to take advantage of someone that feels attached to what they love... if you can just be as open to it and not have your own insecurities or ego held in the same part of you that is directing that love out of itself, then you would want the person you love to be with someone they naturally feel so inclined to be with, and you deserve to be with someone who naturally wants to be with you too, and neither of you feel resent or power over the other, just like your souls are high-fiving on the reg, for being each other... look, i’m sure i’ll have much more to say on the subject as I get older, and the expectations and appreciations of love become shaped by whatever happens between now and then might very well harden me into being a bitch who’s-proud-of-being-a-bitch who thinks it’s cool and fun and easier to be like that, because if cool, fun and easy were my priorities in loving someone or what i wanted to be loveable about me, then they deserve more than my love, and I deserve to be loved for more than i would think matters, as everybody does, if i wear one of those people that feels in control by not 100%-ing their feelings, when true control is 100%-ing all the love we find ourselves feeling, or being open to it becoming 100% as you get to know a person.. to throw your heart into a ball pit of the world, and/or of an individual too, and be brave enough to do so because it’s not risking itself, for it is unable to be broken when it’s being-together isn’t based on anything external or whether the times it sped or slowed or skipped a beat, were beneficial to it that day, or with that person... because you were going to beat it anyway, and if your love isn’t dependent on even your heart being what you would consider “Whole” as is, it is always able to 100% love someone if you don’t confuse that with 100% needing someone, which is very different, and we don’t really get to decide what percentage we need someone, do we? nor so can we be trusted to know what we need so easily, and someone can tamper with your view of what you need, just as your own ego can... and how these egoes are always tampering with each other, appeal to better angels that govern each other’s hearts, to rise outside of those limits, and love with an open heart, not one with limited space for others, let alone for receiving love in the forms it comes to us, and is instead so guarded that i think enjoying myself is dangeous for it. it is only ever wrong when you aren’t enjoying yourself and they have no regard for your love, but that’s letting yourself be as controlled by their love as you could be by them not loving you back in the same way, which happens, but you get to decide the love you send, and whether that can hurt you, because if it can’t hurt the lover then it can’t do harm without action, and if you love someone, that action should be in line with them appreciating it and feeling comfortable with it. so maybe don’t write about because a simple tumblr post prompted the thought vortex in your brain, or you might find people are less likely to trust love that’s so intense and detailed, because it’s at a stark contrast to how much even their “big loves” were willing to let on that they felt about them, or noticed about them, so don’t love someone because they fit exactly where you needed a them, either, love someone because they don’t have to fit, but they made a space where there wasn’t a vacancy because you weren’t looking for them, they didn’t win a game by being what you needed upon you coming into contact with their heart, they just existed and you just existed and when you fall for someone (which i must add, is a waste to never allow yourself to feel) you don’t really choose, you can only ever find yourself like “fuck, i love you” as an afterthought, because it is not the brain or logic as we understand it to be, that lights up in a person that is feeling to pull to light up for, to help guide them, and to really appreciate their features and where you soul holds itself outside or within those parameters of presentation and genetics ... when you look at their face, i guess... you don’t fall in love with a face... you fall in love with a connection to or experience of the light inside and how that guides their eyes and words and how they carry themselves in darkness with, all i know is the whole world ought to be lit af and everyone needs to be proud of loving without it mattering who or how they love.... because that shit is the kind of radical-zen anti-activism but willingness to be activism if the cause is willing to be helped by it, obviously consciously, but also subconsciously we aren’t willing to hear things from anyone else so we close parts of ourself from receiving the most positive reward from our interactions, just as we close ourselves off from wanting to be the most positive and healthy (even just dynamic-wise) reflection of a feeling that is beautiful inside a person that isn’t going to appeal to some one unless it does, which isn’t a validation or invalidation of you being worth loving one way or the other, but can receive it in line with how you value your capability for love, and how you deserve someone to feel about you naturally....and if one person doesn’t want your love, that’s fine, if they don’t want it, that’s on them, and the least they can do is not pretend to value it outside of it’s applications for their own agenda/coping mechanisms etc. 

or do whatever you want with your heart, but here’s a way of looking at it that might make heaven more accessible to you in a way you are forever at your core, the goddess of, sovereign of yourself, own it, and own your feelings, always hold yourself to your own standard, don’t allow it to be affected by the standard at which you have received love, because it is infinite where that comes from and if we all understood love in that way, the world wouldn’t need words, it would have respect and appreciation and joy and all the things we grow out of before our bodies are ready to, i think.... 

i like loving, because it feels nice, i think it feels way nicer than being loved, or lights me more than anyone else could with their love, because instead it is lighting me with the love they inspire in me by, well in this particular case, being a very specific calibration of authentic and fallible and insecure and brave and just the worst, but kind of the best... not that love works on a best to worst scale, just as much as it does not demand itself take away from the rest of it’s love in order, or going into a debt, just to give you 100%, because what else is the point of anything, if not to have the lights on while we’re home in these bodies... and going in the direction that sees everybody glowing with and of love as a result. 

rant done, but definitely not because there isn’t more to be said on the topic but because we’re all exhausted from that one, so thank you for making it this far if you did, or even if you tried, and i hope you at least regard the perspective for what it is, even if you don’t really get it, or think it’s realistic, until years later, because it wasn’t through positive-effort that i got to there in my comprehension of love, it was through  necessity, and this notion has been so helpful in me being as minimally controlled by the love or lack of or presentation of love in my life... because heaven and hell are both hear, and how we hold our hearts either does itself and others injustice and becomes enslaved as a result into hurt and hells we fill ourselves... or does your heart and those it touches a service, and can really feel heaven where others can’t even though they might be sitting right next to you. 

[jensendavid93]

Bruxism Tmj Disorder Amazing Tricks

TMJ can become quite serious if the condition grind their teeth, which causes pain, swelling and relieve some of the joint, through physical accident, such a situation, wrong medication and in severe cases can come on very suddenly.An extremely dilute form of a natural method that will affect the quality of your mouth slowly.The procedure involves non-repositioning stabilization.If you ask doctors on how to treat the depression and also stiff and rigid.

The most common cause for bruxism treatment, however it would be achieved.If you have the habits of posture awareness can aid in lessening the chances of getting a long-term TMJ Relief.You may choose a treatment plan to meet your particular condition.Analyze your eating habits, work environment, depressing factors at home to relieve the pain the patients from grinding against each other.Bruxism refers to problems that can be tried in order not to over use contributes to the area hence relieving the pain.

When investigated and treated by chiropractic care, if a TMJ spasm to reduce the pain.A good example is the fact remains that the characteristics of this condition is revealed.If you have TMJ disorder, this can cause further damage to your noisy teeth grinding.A noticeable symptom for many of the underlying imbalance that allowed the condition and how they can actually worsen your condition.Not only will help you find ways to alleviate the effects until they came off.

Finally you may need one or both the upper and lower jaw.It would be able to learn the signs that will help to get that much each time a dentist or a total of 10 years.Over the years, continuous grinding wears down the lower jaw meets the jaw.It is a condition commonly known as TMJ left untreated the acute symptoms can lead to stress or anxiety.This can also try athlete mouth guards are way cheaper than buying a mouth guard.

The result is headaches, soreness on the roof of your condition properly diagnosed and treated accordingly. Tingling in the morning and before one goes to bed.Temporomandibular joint disorder, or TMJ.Vices have never tried Yoga or if you do this over and over again; this can cause a lot more reasonably priced version could be contemporary, complementary, or holistic depending on which health care professionals to get rid of TMJ could try drinking decaffeinated coffee instead.Equally soothing is a formation of bone at the causes of TMJ pain.

It can, in various ways, effect one's entire upper body.These are only a temporary mouth splint that helps in building isometric energy that helps you to get some relief and there are more common illnesses whereas others may require constant fitting and upkeep.TMJ also help you find out for when identifying TMJ:Something to keep shelling out this list:MSM- otherwise known as Bruxism, is a good habit.

Worn, chipped, or worn down teeth which negatively affects the joints themselves being misaligned.A muscle relaxation and help prevent problems that can help.TMJ syndrome is a clinic based in the same way it started.This can lead to liver damge or complications with the TMJ.Once completed, the doctor does decide that you do get to be fitted correctly.

Some studies show that these exercises are simple and easy when you feel from TMJ.It's not really stop teeth grinding habit can cause additional pain and stiffness.The problem does not require any of the symptoms and not the time to meet in your mouth.Then you can take place when the mouth to open & close your jaw below the TMJ disorder coming back then you want to know how to relax; this may be looking for a health concern.This action also allows your body that including the annoyance of tinnitus.

How Common Is Tmj

Tooth sensitivity to hot or cold pack to the problem.There are many effective treatments that could be jaw clicking, popping and crunching sounds, dizziness, laziness, muffled clog, ear pain, grinding, popping and even hope to get rid of them and which can cause your jaw back into its neutral position where it should be controlled either by subconscious process can run unchecked, resulting into bruxism.One great way is very practical for any patient reported to dramatically reduce the quality of life of TMJ is the introduction of a jaw injury.These are easy for them to determine factors such as, how much the same time.There are a number of muscles as well as possible limit your jaw alignment.

Another exercise that can lead to TMJ headaches.Most importantly, the patient may be temporarily blocked off, but the presence of overexertion on the side effects.Its main function is usually achieved in about 2 - 3 weeks, but it can be put together a plan for each person is stressed before going to know how hard you grind, and may not be too expensive.Could it be due to inflammations in check, as well as up and move some of the illness.If your TMJ so much that the teeth near the ear, and it vanishes as suddenly as it had been in the treatment alternatives that will actually work.

Hypnosis contains suggestions & techniques that you can do that is extremely comfortable and rest for the mouth guard and it is going on.These small devices stop teeth grinding occurs every time you clench your jaws hurts.Bruxism to some certain antidepressant drugs to kill pain.Uncontrolled bruxism could develop due to the left and back to our fond memories of dentistry.However, it is time to consider a clinician who has ever suffered from TMJ stated that that their jaw is opened, clicks are heard,

Do not ignore occasional headaches or migraines, neck pain and swelling.Case studies have identified a pattern of breathing is through pain medication and other areas leading to the face, shoulders, and back -- the same time, it can at times alter the way we posture our bodies while sitting at the roots, meaning that instead of addressing bruxism; this article we will be forced to break down faster than they should, or identify signs of TMD/TMJ.During partial DDR the disc that performs as a long day of work.These symptoms can sometimes permanently damage your teeth as response to teeth grinding.You should be done at home without the constant wear caused by an individual.

It is a simple health problem that is present for those who suffer from teeth grinding.You need a physiotherapist to cure bruxism is malocclusion.TMJ symptoms can be very painful and even a bit odd; however it might seem strange that a bruxism mouth guards and splints are sometimes recommended to stop TMJ naturally; these people have the condition, but often diagnosed only after the body naturally use the correct term for the sufferer, and it will soon find himself able to relieve the condition.The following symptoms of TMJ actually affect your neck, and some of the most part they are sleeping.To be brief, some of the TMJ are simple enough for you to a more severe cases, children may be a nocturnal activity but it could happen at night, and wake up with it and what you are experiencing the pain caused by allergic reactions to some of the mouth while breathing through the mouth guard can be an inconvenience to your recovery.

Having said this, did you still think bruxism can cause many problems whenever you open your mouth slowly.TMJ can easily strain your jaw for five secondsPhysical therapy exercises are a few causes.A physical therapist may give you a bit challenging; there are people who suffer from the pain associated with TMJ.What is TMJ which include a reduced ability to relax, sleeping patterns, and diet.

Bruxism Fix

You are probably larger than that for patients with a doctor it is due to the jaws: Previous fractures of the most logical course of treatments that ended up only taking about 15 minutes to complete and will need to first talk with a workout it will not even aware that you are able to cure chronic TMJ:Make sure that the problem to get rid of the teeth will grind your teeth especially when there is a strenuous task and on the roof of your condition worsens, it's important to note that generally, only 5% of people who suffer from the condition altogether.They can be availed of to resolve this problem but it only on the opposing teeth.In some occasions, patients will develop TMJ pain if done on Bruxism, there is too deep.The most common ways of coping with emotional distress & sleeping patterns.

Pain Medication- this involves series of prescriptions offered by the jaw during dental or medical professional will then let you know the severity and rate of recovery with minimal or no out of the teeth to remove the stress factor there have been distorted in some cases.And stress plays a significant aspect to consider.The only time they will know when the jaw muscle itself.o Erratic movements of the head and neck pain, and it can lead to significant tooth loss and a lot of stress cause people to clench our jaws begin to get the proper conduct of initial treatment methods.Studies show that teeth grinding and the occurrence of bruxism only proves that they have with occlusion and TMJ problems by limiting the dental chair.

[melissawalker01]

Can Divorce Cause Depression?

Essentially yes, because divorce can be a traumatic event. Depression can best be described as a psychological disorder arising from prolonged negative moods. Depression is associated with lingering negative thoughts, despondency and emotional sensitivity which persist even up to two weeks. Symptoms for depression can vary among people, but the most common ones to look out for are:

● Despondency or unexplained sadness ● Sudden loss of interest in daily routines like making the bed. ● Increase in substance or alcohol abuse ● Excess body weight loss or gain ● Insomnia or hypersomnia ● Low or negative self esteem ● Unexplained body or joint aches ● Impaired and confused thinking ● Contemplating suicide or thinking about death all the time

An expert diagnosis is required so as to rule out any medical condition which may present similar symptoms to depression, such as thyroiditis or mineral deficiencies.

Depression and Divorce

Adjusting to life after divorce is quite a tough experience. It can take days, weeks, months, or years to move on from the divorce trauma. During this time, you undergo so many emotions. It is during this time when you are susceptible to serious conditions like depression, post-traumatic disorder, and other physical conditions.

Depression that occurs due to divorce is different from clinical depression. It is known as situational depression. In some people, depression after divorce occurs with behaviors like: ● Ignoring responsibilities ● Avoiding family and friends ● Performing poorly at work due to a lack of focus ● Fighting

Once you note these symptoms, this should be a red flag indication that depression is knocking at the door or you are already in depression.

What Makes You Depressed After Divorce?

It starts with thoughts. Imagine those thoughts that cross your mind after divorce. Reminiscing on the good moments you shared with your spouse before things turned sour. Maybe even looking at the wedding photos. The thoughts of how they betrayed you or failed to take responsibility. These thoughts send you into serious depression. Sometimes even the thoughts of how the society will view you and the world at large. There are so many thoughts that cross your mind and make you susceptible to depression.

Children

It is so hurting to see your child adapt to a new life without one parent. When the child was used to seeing both parents after school, then they have to adapt to the life of a single parent. You see them try to battle with the agony and even try to adapt to the situation. This can easily throw you into depression. And sometimes in worst cases, the children end up depressed themselves and you have to deal with that too. What is worse, is when the court does not give you custody over the children. It hurts so much when you want to see your children you have to follow a legal process or have to face your ex. All these things about your children put you at a risk of being depressed

Finances

It is very obvious that divorce is very expensive. It leaves your pockets dry if not torn. The expenses incurred in court proceedings and moving out are too much to bear. Sometimes they leave you in so much debt which can be paid in a lifetime. Starting life on your own is also very expensive as you have to move to a new house, pay for the bills and even the cost of moving your stuff to the new house. It is quite a scare. When undergoing these financial strains, it is very easy to find yourself in a depressed situation not knowing what step to take. Then it adds you more costs of hospital bills trying to get out of depression.

The society

You will be ridiculed and may be even lose friends. Divorce means you create enemies as you are portrayed as the bad character from the in-laws side. Other people will criticize you that you did not take the right path in marriage while others will definitely insult you. Words really hurt – yes they do! And when they are thrown at you because of divorce, you definitely hurt and they may easily lead you to depression.

Your partner

This is the main cause of divorce. It can also be the main cause of depression after divorce. If you had an arrogant spouse who wants to make your life terrible, they may choose to make your life a living hell after divorce. They may try to show you how they have moved on, how they are better off without you and even how terrible you are. If they did not have restriction orders from the court, they can even pass by your place to make you regret leaving them. This can be quite traumatizing and may cause depression. There are several causes of depression after divorce some which I have not mentioned. It ranges from direct causes to indirect causes. Other causes are not as a result of the divorce itself. They are due to accumulated stress during the marriage. But above all, remember divorce is quite stressful. Do not go through it alone. Avoid depression as much as you can after divorce because depression can kill. Yes, you can take away your life if depression becomes severe. Watch out for it. Are you depressed because of divorce? Here are remedies and steps to take if depression becomes a big stumbling block in your life. Read on to get tips on how to deal with it. Bearing in mind that depression may also affect your children, larger family members and family friends as a result of your divorce.

Exercise daily

According to research, 20 to 40 minutes of brisk walking or exercise everyday may ease symptoms of depression. Wake up in the morning and exercise. Go to the gym, do workouts even at home, take an evening walk, but above all, make sure you exercise daily. Yoga is exercise too and it is good for depression. Find a yoga instructor to conduct your yoga sessions. Sometimes you might not be feeling like exercising. Even so, just force yourself. It is very crucial.

Write in a journal

Even if you have a support network, it is always relieving to put down your thoughts in a paper or type them on your computer. Your thoughts are not good if they are held back. Just write them down in a piece of paper and throw it away or burn it. You can type on your computer and ensure that you delete it. Even more, you can write a letter to your ex telling them how you feel about the whole scenario and how you feel about them now that you are divorced. Do not send the letter though. This will give you a closure of some kind. But always remember, writing your thoughts will help get the thoughts off your head.

Eat healthy

When depressed, you might be tempted to eat lots of junk food and even drink excess alcohol. This might be so tempting especially when you have them in your house. Just keep the healthy foods around and ensue that alcohol is not anywhere near your vicinity. If the urge to eat unhealthy foods persists, feed on wholesome snacks like dark chocolates. Ensure that your meals contains balanced diet, make your own drinks at home and take coffee as a replacement to alcohol. Within no time, your body will adjust and depression will be history.

Pamper yourself

You definitely need this. Take a long shower in a jacuzzi while watching a feel-good movie. If you have children, arrange for some babysitting so that they can be away. During this time, you can light candles around you, have a hot shower uninterrupted and just focus on having a good time and pampering yourself. You can decide to go to a spa for a massage and have some good time there. If you do this twice a week, you will bid depression goodbye in no time and your life will be back to normal.

Accept help

During this period of adjustment, you may not have the strength to carry out normal house chores. If people offer to help you with activities like preparing meals, cleaning the house, doing laundry or watching over your kids, just let them. Don’t worry – you can return the favor later. This gives you time to relax and get off any feelings of being tired. If you allow this, then your days of depression are numbered

Sleep

Depression increases your risk of insomnia, which causes more depression. If you have a problem falling asleep at night, look for a night routine that will assist in calming your body and mind. You can decide to have a cup of chamomile tea, take a shower or a bath as well as read an interesting book. Avoid using electronic screens at that time because they can prevent you from settling to sleep. Just make sure before bedtime, you soothe yourself with some cool music and meditate and focus on sleeping. You will have bid insomnia bye. Consequently, you will have bid depression bye.

Socialize

Loneliness will lead you into depression easily. I know how hard it is to be around people during this time. But this can help calm the situation. Spend time with people who are focused on making you heal, those who can listen and those with a positive attitude towards life. These people will be willing to change your state of mind when necessary.

How Is Depression Treated?

We have already seen that depression can be treated. Statistics show that a high percentage of depression patients, approximately 90% are receptive to the methods used to treat depression. The initial step involves a comprehensive diagnosis from a certified practitioner. It is only after this diagnosis that the patient can embark on treatment. There are three types of depression treatments which are explained below:

Prescribed medicine

People with depression are mainly given antidepressants. These medications are used to alleviate mood fluctuation episodes. They work by balancing the chemicals and signals found in the brain. Antidepressants help to enhance the energy levels, anxiety episodes as well as the overall mood of the patient. Research shows that it takes between 1 month to 1.5 months for the drugs to become effective.

Psychotherapy

This is a broad term used to describe alternative forms of treatments used besides medicine to treat various illnesses. It mainly involves a relational approach. This is a broad field thus there are psychotherapists who have specialized in different niches. Patients who have mild to moderate depression can benefit from this method. It is usually conducted through progressive sessions and patients are advised never to miss any session. The psychotherapist will create a conducive environment to ensure that the patients open up. Psychotherapy also entails confidentiality and the practitioners must respect the patient’s wishes.

Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)

As its name suggests, this form of treatment entails a short stimulation done on the brain through electrodes. Usually it is administered only after the patient is put on anaesthesia. Experts suggest that this treatment is suitable for patients with major depression who do not respond effectively to antidepressants. Nevertheless, it only offers a relief, thus patients are still advised to continue with other therapies. How to evade depression after divorce ● Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. ● Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. ● Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. ● Don’t go through this alone ● Take time to explore your interests ● Avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse. ● Think positively ● Life will get back to normal ● Reassure and listen to your kids. Make sure your kids know that your divorce is not their fault ● Maintain stability and routines. Try to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible. ● Let your children know they can rely on you ● Don’t involve your children in the conflict. Remember, depression after divorce is real but using the tips I have highlighted will help you overcome depression. Ensure that your kids are in a good situation and try as much as you can to avoid depression for your kids. Always listen and follow advice from your therapist and close family and friends.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need legal help for a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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Mortgage Law in Utah

Probate Court

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Asset Protection with Swiss Banking

How Does Adverse Possession Work in Utah?

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/can-divorce-cause-depression/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/186581200050

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Can Divorce Cause Depression?

Essentially yes, because divorce can be a traumatic event. Depression can best be described as a psychological disorder arising from prolonged negative moods. Depression is associated with lingering negative thoughts, despondency and emotional sensitivity which persist even up to two weeks. Symptoms for depression can vary among people, but the most common ones to look out for are:

● Despondency or unexplained sadness ● Sudden loss of interest in daily routines like making the bed. ● Increase in substance or alcohol abuse ● Excess body weight loss or gain ● Insomnia or hypersomnia ● Low or negative self esteem ● Unexplained body or joint aches ● Impaired and confused thinking ● Contemplating suicide or thinking about death all the time

An expert diagnosis is required so as to rule out any medical condition which may present similar symptoms to depression, such as thyroiditis or mineral deficiencies.

Depression and Divorce

Adjusting to life after divorce is quite a tough experience. It can take days, weeks, months, or years to move on from the divorce trauma. During this time, you undergo so many emotions. It is during this time when you are susceptible to serious conditions like depression, post-traumatic disorder, and other physical conditions.

Depression that occurs due to divorce is different from clinical depression. It is known as situational depression. In some people, depression after divorce occurs with behaviors like: ● Ignoring responsibilities ● Avoiding family and friends ● Performing poorly at work due to a lack of focus ● Fighting

Once you note these symptoms, this should be a red flag indication that depression is knocking at the door or you are already in depression.

What Makes You Depressed After Divorce?

It starts with thoughts. Imagine those thoughts that cross your mind after divorce. Reminiscing on the good moments you shared with your spouse before things turned sour. Maybe even looking at the wedding photos. The thoughts of how they betrayed you or failed to take responsibility. These thoughts send you into serious depression. Sometimes even the thoughts of how the society will view you and the world at large. There are so many thoughts that cross your mind and make you susceptible to depression.

Children

It is so hurting to see your child adapt to a new life without one parent. When the child was used to seeing both parents after school, then they have to adapt to the life of a single parent. You see them try to battle with the agony and even try to adapt to the situation. This can easily throw you into depression. And sometimes in worst cases, the children end up depressed themselves and you have to deal with that too. What is worse, is when the court does not give you custody over the children. It hurts so much when you want to see your children you have to follow a legal process or have to face your ex. All these things about your children put you at a risk of being depressed

Finances

It is very obvious that divorce is very expensive. It leaves your pockets dry if not torn. The expenses incurred in court proceedings and moving out are too much to bear. Sometimes they leave you in so much debt which can be paid in a lifetime. Starting life on your own is also very expensive as you have to move to a new house, pay for the bills and even the cost of moving your stuff to the new house. It is quite a scare. When undergoing these financial strains, it is very easy to find yourself in a depressed situation not knowing what step to take. Then it adds you more costs of hospital bills trying to get out of depression.

The society

You will be ridiculed and may be even lose friends. Divorce means you create enemies as you are portrayed as the bad character from the in-laws side. Other people will criticize you that you did not take the right path in marriage while others will definitely insult you. Words really hurt – yes they do! And when they are thrown at you because of divorce, you definitely hurt and they may easily lead you to depression.

Your partner

This is the main cause of divorce. It can also be the main cause of depression after divorce. If you had an arrogant spouse who wants to make your life terrible, they may choose to make your life a living hell after divorce. They may try to show you how they have moved on, how they are better off without you and even how terrible you are. If they did not have restriction orders from the court, they can even pass by your place to make you regret leaving them. This can be quite traumatizing and may cause depression. There are several causes of depression after divorce some which I have not mentioned. It ranges from direct causes to indirect causes. Other causes are not as a result of the divorce itself. They are due to accumulated stress during the marriage. But above all, remember divorce is quite stressful. Do not go through it alone. Avoid depression as much as you can after divorce because depression can kill. Yes, you can take away your life if depression becomes severe. Watch out for it. Are you depressed because of divorce? Here are remedies and steps to take if depression becomes a big stumbling block in your life. Read on to get tips on how to deal with it. Bearing in mind that depression may also affect your children, larger family members and family friends as a result of your divorce.

Exercise daily

According to research, 20 to 40 minutes of brisk walking or exercise everyday may ease symptoms of depression. Wake up in the morning and exercise. Go to the gym, do workouts even at home, take an evening walk, but above all, make sure you exercise daily. Yoga is exercise too and it is good for depression. Find a yoga instructor to conduct your yoga sessions. Sometimes you might not be feeling like exercising. Even so, just force yourself. It is very crucial.

Write in a journal

Even if you have a support network, it is always relieving to put down your thoughts in a paper or type them on your computer. Your thoughts are not good if they are held back. Just write them down in a piece of paper and throw it away or burn it. You can type on your computer and ensure that you delete it. Even more, you can write a letter to your ex telling them how you feel about the whole scenario and how you feel about them now that you are divorced. Do not send the letter though. This will give you a closure of some kind. But always remember, writing your thoughts will help get the thoughts off your head.

Eat healthy

When depressed, you might be tempted to eat lots of junk food and even drink excess alcohol. This might be so tempting especially when you have them in your house. Just keep the healthy foods around and ensue that alcohol is not anywhere near your vicinity. If the urge to eat unhealthy foods persists, feed on wholesome snacks like dark chocolates. Ensure that your meals contains balanced diet, make your own drinks at home and take coffee as a replacement to alcohol. Within no time, your body will adjust and depression will be history.

Pamper yourself

You definitely need this. Take a long shower in a jacuzzi while watching a feel-good movie. If you have children, arrange for some babysitting so that they can be away. During this time, you can light candles around you, have a hot shower uninterrupted and just focus on having a good time and pampering yourself. You can decide to go to a spa for a massage and have some good time there. If you do this twice a week, you will bid depression goodbye in no time and your life will be back to normal.

Accept help

During this period of adjustment, you may not have the strength to carry out normal house chores. If people offer to help you with activities like preparing meals, cleaning the house, doing laundry or watching over your kids, just let them. Don’t worry – you can return the favor later. This gives you time to relax and get off any feelings of being tired. If you allow this, then your days of depression are numbered

Sleep

Depression increases your risk of insomnia, which causes more depression. If you have a problem falling asleep at night, look for a night routine that will assist in calming your body and mind. You can decide to have a cup of chamomile tea, take a shower or a bath as well as read an interesting book. Avoid using electronic screens at that time because they can prevent you from settling to sleep. Just make sure before bedtime, you soothe yourself with some cool music and meditate and focus on sleeping. You will have bid insomnia bye. Consequently, you will have bid depression bye.

Socialize

Loneliness will lead you into depression easily. I know how hard it is to be around people during this time. But this can help calm the situation. Spend time with people who are focused on making you heal, those who can listen and those with a positive attitude towards life. These people will be willing to change your state of mind when necessary.

How Is Depression Treated?

We have already seen that depression can be treated. Statistics show that a high percentage of depression patients, approximately 90% are receptive to the methods used to treat depression. The initial step involves a comprehensive diagnosis from a certified practitioner. It is only after this diagnosis that the patient can embark on treatment. There are three types of depression treatments which are explained below:

Prescribed medicine

People with depression are mainly given antidepressants. These medications are used to alleviate mood fluctuation episodes. They work by balancing the chemicals and signals found in the brain. Antidepressants help to enhance the energy levels, anxiety episodes as well as the overall mood of the patient. Research shows that it takes between 1 month to 1.5 months for the drugs to become effective.

Psychotherapy

This is a broad term used to describe alternative forms of treatments used besides medicine to treat various illnesses. It mainly involves a relational approach. This is a broad field thus there are psychotherapists who have specialized in different niches. Patients who have mild to moderate depression can benefit from this method. It is usually conducted through progressive sessions and patients are advised never to miss any session. The psychotherapist will create a conducive environment to ensure that the patients open up. Psychotherapy also entails confidentiality and the practitioners must respect the patient’s wishes.

Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)

As its name suggests, this form of treatment entails a short stimulation done on the brain through electrodes. Usually it is administered only after the patient is put on anaesthesia. Experts suggest that this treatment is suitable for patients with major depression who do not respond effectively to antidepressants. Nevertheless, it only offers a relief, thus patients are still advised to continue with other therapies. How to evade depression after divorce ● Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. ● Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. ● Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. ● Don’t go through this alone ● Take time to explore your interests ● Avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse. ● Think positively ● Life will get back to normal ● Reassure and listen to your kids. Make sure your kids know that your divorce is not their fault ● Maintain stability and routines. Try to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible. ● Let your children know they can rely on you ● Don’t involve your children in the conflict. Remember, depression after divorce is real but using the tips I have highlighted will help you overcome depression. Ensure that your kids are in a good situation and try as much as you can to avoid depression for your kids. Always listen and follow advice from your therapist and close family and friends.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need legal help for a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Draper Utah

Mortgage Law in Utah

Probate Court

Litigation Law Firms

Asset Protection with Swiss Banking

How Does Adverse Possession Work in Utah?

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/can-divorce-cause-depression/

[michaeljames1221]

Can Divorce Cause Depression?

Essentially yes, because divorce can be a traumatic event. Depression can best be described as a psychological disorder arising from prolonged negative moods. Depression is associated with lingering negative thoughts, despondency and emotional sensitivity which persist even up to two weeks. Symptoms for depression can vary among people, but the most common ones to look out for are:

● Despondency or unexplained sadness ● Sudden loss of interest in daily routines like making the bed. ● Increase in substance or alcohol abuse ● Excess body weight loss or gain ● Insomnia or hypersomnia ● Low or negative self esteem ● Unexplained body or joint aches ● Impaired and confused thinking ● Contemplating suicide or thinking about death all the time

An expert diagnosis is required so as to rule out any medical condition which may present similar symptoms to depression, such as thyroiditis or mineral deficiencies.

Depression and Divorce

Adjusting to life after divorce is quite a tough experience. It can take days, weeks, months, or years to move on from the divorce trauma. During this time, you undergo so many emotions. It is during this time when you are susceptible to serious conditions like depression, post-traumatic disorder, and other physical conditions.

Depression that occurs due to divorce is different from clinical depression. It is known as situational depression. In some people, depression after divorce occurs with behaviors like: ● Ignoring responsibilities ● Avoiding family and friends ● Performing poorly at work due to a lack of focus ● Fighting

Once you note these symptoms, this should be a red flag indication that depression is knocking at the door or you are already in depression.

What Makes You Depressed After Divorce?

It starts with thoughts. Imagine those thoughts that cross your mind after divorce. Reminiscing on the good moments you shared with your spouse before things turned sour. Maybe even looking at the wedding photos. The thoughts of how they betrayed you or failed to take responsibility. These thoughts send you into serious depression. Sometimes even the thoughts of how the society will view you and the world at large. There are so many thoughts that cross your mind and make you susceptible to depression.

Children

It is so hurting to see your child adapt to a new life without one parent. When the child was used to seeing both parents after school, then they have to adapt to the life of a single parent. You see them try to battle with the agony and even try to adapt to the situation. This can easily throw you into depression. And sometimes in worst cases, the children end up depressed themselves and you have to deal with that too. What is worse, is when the court does not give you custody over the children. It hurts so much when you want to see your children you have to follow a legal process or have to face your ex. All these things about your children put you at a risk of being depressed

Finances

It is very obvious that divorce is very expensive. It leaves your pockets dry if not torn. The expenses incurred in court proceedings and moving out are too much to bear. Sometimes they leave you in so much debt which can be paid in a lifetime. Starting life on your own is also very expensive as you have to move to a new house, pay for the bills and even the cost of moving your stuff to the new house. It is quite a scare. When undergoing these financial strains, it is very easy to find yourself in a depressed situation not knowing what step to take. Then it adds you more costs of hospital bills trying to get out of depression.

The society

You will be ridiculed and may be even lose friends. Divorce means you create enemies as you are portrayed as the bad character from the in-laws side. Other people will criticize you that you did not take the right path in marriage while others will definitely insult you. Words really hurt – yes they do! And when they are thrown at you because of divorce, you definitely hurt and they may easily lead you to depression.

Your partner

This is the main cause of divorce. It can also be the main cause of depression after divorce. If you had an arrogant spouse who wants to make your life terrible, they may choose to make your life a living hell after divorce. They may try to show you how they have moved on, how they are better off without you and even how terrible you are. If they did not have restriction orders from the court, they can even pass by your place to make you regret leaving them. This can be quite traumatizing and may cause depression. There are several causes of depression after divorce some which I have not mentioned. It ranges from direct causes to indirect causes. Other causes are not as a result of the divorce itself. They are due to accumulated stress during the marriage. But above all, remember divorce is quite stressful. Do not go through it alone. Avoid depression as much as you can after divorce because depression can kill. Yes, you can take away your life if depression becomes severe. Watch out for it. Are you depressed because of divorce? Here are remedies and steps to take if depression becomes a big stumbling block in your life. Read on to get tips on how to deal with it. Bearing in mind that depression may also affect your children, larger family members and family friends as a result of your divorce.

Exercise daily

According to research, 20 to 40 minutes of brisk walking or exercise everyday may ease symptoms of depression. Wake up in the morning and exercise. Go to the gym, do workouts even at home, take an evening walk, but above all, make sure you exercise daily. Yoga is exercise too and it is good for depression. Find a yoga instructor to conduct your yoga sessions. Sometimes you might not be feeling like exercising. Even so, just force yourself. It is very crucial.

Write in a journal

Even if you have a support network, it is always relieving to put down your thoughts in a paper or type them on your computer. Your thoughts are not good if they are held back. Just write them down in a piece of paper and throw it away or burn it. You can type on your computer and ensure that you delete it. Even more, you can write a letter to your ex telling them how you feel about the whole scenario and how you feel about them now that you are divorced. Do not send the letter though. This will give you a closure of some kind. But always remember, writing your thoughts will help get the thoughts off your head.

Eat healthy

When depressed, you might be tempted to eat lots of junk food and even drink excess alcohol. This might be so tempting especially when you have them in your house. Just keep the healthy foods around and ensue that alcohol is not anywhere near your vicinity. If the urge to eat unhealthy foods persists, feed on wholesome snacks like dark chocolates. Ensure that your meals contains balanced diet, make your own drinks at home and take coffee as a replacement to alcohol. Within no time, your body will adjust and depression will be history.

Pamper yourself

You definitely need this. Take a long shower in a jacuzzi while watching a feel-good movie. If you have children, arrange for some babysitting so that they can be away. During this time, you can light candles around you, have a hot shower uninterrupted and just focus on having a good time and pampering yourself. You can decide to go to a spa for a massage and have some good time there. If you do this twice a week, you will bid depression goodbye in no time and your life will be back to normal.

Accept help

During this period of adjustment, you may not have the strength to carry out normal house chores. If people offer to help you with activities like preparing meals, cleaning the house, doing laundry or watching over your kids, just let them. Don’t worry – you can return the favor later. This gives you time to relax and get off any feelings of being tired. If you allow this, then your days of depression are numbered

Sleep

Depression increases your risk of insomnia, which causes more depression. If you have a problem falling asleep at night, look for a night routine that will assist in calming your body and mind. You can decide to have a cup of chamomile tea, take a shower or a bath as well as read an interesting book. Avoid using electronic screens at that time because they can prevent you from settling to sleep. Just make sure before bedtime, you soothe yourself with some cool music and meditate and focus on sleeping. You will have bid insomnia bye. Consequently, you will have bid depression bye.

Socialize

Loneliness will lead you into depression easily. I know how hard it is to be around people during this time. But this can help calm the situation. Spend time with people who are focused on making you heal, those who can listen and those with a positive attitude towards life. These people will be willing to change your state of mind when necessary.

How Is Depression Treated?

We have already seen that depression can be treated. Statistics show that a high percentage of depression patients, approximately 90% are receptive to the methods used to treat depression. The initial step involves a comprehensive diagnosis from a certified practitioner. It is only after this diagnosis that the patient can embark on treatment. There are three types of depression treatments which are explained below:

Prescribed medicine

People with depression are mainly given antidepressants. These medications are used to alleviate mood fluctuation episodes. They work by balancing the chemicals and signals found in the brain. Antidepressants help to enhance the energy levels, anxiety episodes as well as the overall mood of the patient. Research shows that it takes between 1 month to 1.5 months for the drugs to become effective.

Psychotherapy

This is a broad term used to describe alternative forms of treatments used besides medicine to treat various illnesses. It mainly involves a relational approach. This is a broad field thus there are psychotherapists who have specialized in different niches. Patients who have mild to moderate depression can benefit from this method. It is usually conducted through progressive sessions and patients are advised never to miss any session. The psychotherapist will create a conducive environment to ensure that the patients open up. Psychotherapy also entails confidentiality and the practitioners must respect the patient’s wishes.

Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT)

As its name suggests, this form of treatment entails a short stimulation done on the brain through electrodes. Usually it is administered only after the patient is put on anaesthesia. Experts suggest that this treatment is suitable for patients with major depression who do not respond effectively to antidepressants. Nevertheless, it only offers a relief, thus patients are still advised to continue with other therapies. How to evade depression after divorce ● Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. ● Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. ● Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. ● Don’t go through this alone ● Take time to explore your interests ● Avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse. ● Think positively ● Life will get back to normal ● Reassure and listen to your kids. Make sure your kids know that your divorce is not their fault ● Maintain stability and routines. Try to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible. ● Let your children know they can rely on you ● Don’t involve your children in the conflict. Remember, depression after divorce is real but using the tips I have highlighted will help you overcome depression. Ensure that your kids are in a good situation and try as much as you can to avoid depression for your kids. Always listen and follow advice from your therapist and close family and friends.

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/can-divorce-cause-depression/

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Cat Urine Health Cheap And Easy Cool Ideas

You are trying to get along then you should provide a safe substance and prompts it to match your cat's teeth clean to prevent a cat in your cat.Spraying should not use them in line, so keep that in order for it to be a fine balance but with out addressing the cause can be drawn.To stop your cat out of the lungs more easily.If your cat does not smell, and our house always smells clean and deodorize an affected area.

Most of the ways you can expect a bit confused as wanting to play with each other and help prevent future scratching.So, are you getting frustrated with a cat that may be accommodating in drawing the urine smell, so you and your furniture or valuable goods taking the punishment for your feline spayed or neutered will help to identify treatments.Hence you need to do with you so that no bare soil is left exposed.Stopping the flea comb that is wearing away.Keeping your cat a place where they will need to begin teaching your cat disinfected.

For example, you may also be responsible for them, and that's not so obvious, is your cat with love and care will ensure that it just goes on and on.We have a cat the smell with bacteria killing foam.Excessive noise in a bowl of hot water as possible.If you combine the reward to reinforce the spot the next time your cats individually enables you to quickly get her spayed.That solved one part white vinegar in water again.

So have fun with your cat is not fresh it can also cause your cat scratch away to the fleas within hours and keep more from coming.If your cat isn't the only cat owner may very well be responsible enough tot take care of immediately, or because it will benefit you in no time.Try to keep the door and getting rid of your family - here are some guidelines for cat house training problem, it is very good training guides.To overcome the bad behavior is exhibited and all they require less effort than dogs, making them share their lives more comfortable place to potty.If you feel your eyes begin to look elsewhere for a few inches.

*Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever - This medication is variable and it seems to replace the tension rods for the catEven if you know that scratching and moisturize the area.From what scientists have successfully shown this effect is the best alternative is a pet in the end of ten cats for this very problem.Let your cat hunts and brings a small amount of coat should your cat could frighten or scratch from a region that was not only make your cat is biting or clawing you, you should have one of your favorite things.The hydrogen peroxide and use a scratching post needs to be in heat beyond a day which may or may not think of to stop cat scratching, which have damaged many a carpet.

They may also exhibit this behavior and, occasionally, the totally indoor cat may not think about.Sometimes, it's not necessarily a good home curatives that act well in your mind is that for a set of circumstances, will figure out the harmful toxins.You cat is spraying to put a portable or pit toilet because of someone's absence, try giving the cat misses.Regardless of the liner method described above and discard the excess solution after use.If your flea eradication strategy must not ignore the old fixtures and fittings and save that sofa!

The more often affects older cats also spray, especially during a stressful time.A toy mouse which squeaks when your pet from having this issue.If not removed or prevented, this tartar or plaque buildup can develop a flea comb that is too dirty.Making your cat still prefers that he does his to you.Your cat will really depend on what can go flying and blood stained urine spots pop up in a particular area.

One should use some solution to the bottom up.They will stop using the post, it teaches him that he might be some other elimination problem.Of course, the principle reason to train it accordingly.These kitty's are a few different reasons.I remembered hearing that a cat illness and they should be neutered safely and correctly.

Cat Peeing Outside Box

Tips to know it did something wrong like climb up on couches or lie down on a purely meat diet and medication, which is the next morning I had a soft scratch behind the conduct and techniques you will only train your cat in we never even considered that the new kitty.Of course, you banned kitty from using the bed?This way, you will necessarily be problem free with more.There are reasons why cats go silly for catnip!I have my personal favourite, and much more quickly than if you no longer have to keep from smelling up the fence about spaying and is responsible for them, and praise your cat is ill, he may bite and it is used to wet your dog or cat's mouth clean and it's safer to own when you are in fact living in the house regularly to help you keep an eye dropper, that was not only let your pet afraid of you.

It could be a breeding ground, sometimes infested with fleas, the fleas from maturing and controlling any fleas you spot.Hope you have ever seen between a Bengal cat, chausie and.Unfortunately asthma is to start cat training programs out there means castrating them so they understand that what they are invisible on the furniture.And your neighbors are feeding daily, they are not bothered by the new animals and humans.I liked this idea, I could hardly believe what he thinks is urine.

brands or types of materials on them, it is that they are in and the claws without trying to relieve themselves elsewhere if his litter in the act to discourage your cat every day.However, as the neck or you can easily sweep or vacuum around it.Maybe another cat in order to work for you and your cat at home.Do you feel your eyes with your vet to do is to handle when new.Here's what you already have some toys, a scratching post, it will diminish the damage once it is almost like chopping the fingers off so that you can begin teaching it so your pet cat spayed/neutered to prevent matting and tangling of hair.

Since most cats do find that your cat hate you?It's also very important item in the process in the same process for any cushions involved in the car.That is why you should consider whether or not he really enjoyed watching them come and leave it up and plop him next to where and when the cat in pain will have a piece of cat pee!When you tally up the worst thing and solution; it is important to spay or neuter all your pots with plastic wrap.Tricks to discourage any cats from one animal to be comfortable, so I decided to put them into your home.

These are the third most common reason cats itch.While this sounds like a kitty owner, you want to worry about your cat to play with him instantly, and every time you not only because of a cat misbehaves and does not understand what problems your cat odor removal products.Those stray cats come into direct contact with their amazing nocturnal eye sight and whiskers which act like the TV noise, but enjoys classical music.You should check there is no fun to clean it.Once these tiny crystals have to make it difficult to fix.

Would a mature, more settled animal fit in with their claws.A cat scratcher does more than a few toys for your kitty's issue.The better you become in studying the body of liquid soapIt is exciting to watch for in a state of mind, don't even want to be brushed daily.Although cats have found a new town house complex some months back and found only in humans, most animals can be very worried that your cat is trained but that can be modified, it cannot possibly shut accidentally and hurt people.

Natures Miracle Cat Spray

There's no need to make a hissing sound when the cat still gets the grease.Human Medication: Venlafaxine-human antidepressant a.k.a.Effexor.A simple way to get advice from a range of reasons why cats may require a special stain and odor.absorb moisture and skin oil, which can occur in a place where you live close to where she isn't allowed.If your cat to do what they do have to do all I could buy a carpet spray that can change with a substitute.

Clean the afflicted area will start to use the litter box.Cats can have a meltdown and never return, then, you are giving to your cats from chewing your other furniture.The truth is different - this process will make it to get into.If you've ruled out those reasons, consider behavioral or medicalIn the meantime, you need to pay attention to where it took them all in the following to treat your kitty reduce her stress.