#especially android trans girls

[bpgpaii]

Hear me out

Clear-shelled robot girls

But

Like that clear-ish coloured stuff that Nintendo made the N64 out of

[nierly-amazing]

Controversial opinion: Nier Automata's story would have benefited a lot from the creative freedom of being an indie game with more queer & disabled writers, and writers from heavily colonized places

Probably less controversial to those who are still following my gay ass.

It already manages to be a masterpiece on it's own but there's always going to be constraints in big budget games to appeal to a wider audience--like the rumor/fact/idr that 9S was going to be a girl initially but got changed. There's a lot of good input queer and disabled creatives could have offered from their life experiences and how it relates to some of the transhumanist themes in the game. A lot of people seem to forget the machines have been colonizing earth and genociding the androids for 6000 years and those themes could have been expanded on more too.

Like yay we get lesbian 6O and implied trans Pascal but it doesn't really go anywhere with them. The anime does go more into Pascal and machines swapping parts and 9S completely dismissing it but then they never touch on it again (unless they still plan to but with 4 episodes left I doubt it). I want to see 9S have a crisis over it, (and 2E 2B have a crisis over him having a crisis about it).

It'd be interesting to see more a of a discrepancy between high-end porcelain doll yorha models and underfunded ancient Resistance androids. They all look like normal humans. Even the ship of theseus trader guy with the bad leg looks like a regular android. Give me some androids with fucked up body mods that causes 9S to have another crisis (because this boy can fit so many crises in him). Something something parallels with relationships to gender something something 9S is trans and transphobic--doesn't understand the FEEELINGS or what to do about them.

Yorha could have much stricter rules on body modification that's drilled into the android's heads from day one and then they see the machines swap parts with no reservations and resistance androids swap parts with some reservations. Even the whole "emotions are prohibited" thing could be touched on more with more internal struggle in 9S over his inability to act emotionless, and perhaps touch on the point of conflict with 2B who poorly pretends to have her emotions in check.

Maybe some conflict between the machines in pascals village and how rigid they are in trying to emulate humans. Like a group trying to emulate rigid gender roles despite not having assigned genders or sex characteristics, and a group that just does whatever. Like "no you have to choose" but also "humans didn't choose (mostly) so who cares".

And then there's the fact that most machines in pascal's village are not fully sapient, or are maybe coded as children still learning the world and something something its 1am something something how much should their level of sapience matter

Even with 9S's memory "issues" we only have 1 moment in the anime where he has a flash of past memories. Imagine if his descent into grief-stricken madness in route C had his old deleted memories start resurfacing and mixing with his current ones. Or maybe the machine network had copies of some of them and used them to torment him more.

Imagine if they showed Anemone and Devpop try harder to help him but weren't able to due to them not fully understanding what he's going through and their own hangups about machines. Imagine him being unable to really open up to anyone because he doesn't fully understand what he's going through.

9S """racism""" toward machines isn't at all unique to him. They've been genociding the androids for 6000 years, everyone hates them. I want to see more opinions from resistance androids, especially regarding pascal's village. Even Anemone/Lily aren't completely fine with the idea of trading with machines but are basically forced to out of desperation since the council of humanity left them on read. I want to see more of their internal strife with the concept. I want to see some conflict between resistance and yorha androids, too, and conflict within the resistance over the idea of aiming for a peace treaty.

There could also be some good conflict between 2B and 9S over 2B's willingness to just "accept" pascal's village. Since they both have valid points for their opinions (2B's a big softie and doesn't want to fight and 9S sees pacifist machines 'suddenly' popping up after 6000 years as a mega giganto trap (and why wouldn't he?)).

I would have liked to see more interactions with other androids and how they manage in a posthuman world and them trying to replicate humanity from 11,000 years ago. We have little bits and pieces like the bit where the operators give commander a bunch of brown things for valentine's day instead of chocolates.

Oops I thought I was gonna write like 2 paragraphs but I blacked out and wrote an essay. It's late I might expand on this tomorrow but here's some stuff 2 think about

(and bonus extra controversial opinion but it's kinda fucked up that there's the whole theme about robot sentience and then you can go stab fish in the face for fun and kill moose and boar for a quest so an android--who doesn't need to eat at all--can try eating them. Like here we are arguing about fictional robot sentience and then ignoring actual real animal sentience in our daily lives to the point where we don't even question how messed up killing them for non-survival reasons is)

[gwynndolin]

@an-android-child Also, I think the fundamental misunderstanding here that is happening here is that people are assuming that this is simply about the desire to express oneself thru clothes that are typically perceived as feminine. It's not! People can wear whatever! The fact of the matter is that the OP stated "I will never be a girl". This isn't about expression insofar as clothing shouldn't be gendered, it is about the disconnect of ones body and their mind and how they feel as though they cannot properly convey their expression because of their biology. It's textbook gender dysphoria! Cisgendered people definitionally do not experience gender dysphoria!

It would be one thing if the original post was simply about how they felt like they weren't allowed to wear feminine clothing, but I think it is pretty clearly a lament of feeling as though they physically cannot wear the clothes in a way that a woman could. This subtle difference is a key point of realization in so many burgeoning trans women's lives and I think is why egg culture is so prevalent, because it's hard to see something like this if you're not looking for it and can cause some people genuine distress, especially if they're not understanding where the disconnect is coming from.

So it is not about reinforcing gender roles, it's about looking out for people, I believe

[chaosintheavenue]

2023 Fallout OC Census- Results

At long last, it's here! This time, we had 593 usable responses.

(There are a few categories I haven't analysed just yet, which is mostly because I have Ideas for how to display that data. Please stand by…)

Getting right into the numbers...

Game

Fallout (original): 18 Fallout 2: 8 Fallout 3: 59 Fallout New Vegas: 214 Fallout 4: 160 Fallout 76: 28 Fallout Tactics: 2 Van Buren: 13 A spin-off, AU or mod: 14 A TTRPG campaign: 13 Multiple of the above: 41 None, just the Fallout universe: 22

Are they the in-game protagonist?

Yes: 328 No: 203 It's complicated: 61

Species

Unmutated human: 444 Ghoul: 51 Synth: 41 Ghoul-ish: 13 Other mutant: 9 Supernatural/spiritual being: 7 Robot (non-humanoid): 7 Super Mutant: 6 Cyborg/android: 5 Unknown/it's complicated: 2 Other: 7

Definitions of a few categories, just to clarify exactly what's in there:

Ghoul-ish: Refers to all characters who are partially ghoulified, ghoulify during their storylines, and unique characters with primarily ghoul-like traits

Other mutant: Refers to all characters who are specified to have unique mutations from any cause, unless they better fit into the ghoul-ish category. This is a very diverse umbrella category, and in past surveys has included everything from characters specified to have 76-style mutations that basically function as perks, to a character similar in form and nature to the Master

Gender

Cis woman/girl: 217 Cis man/boy: 154 Trans man/boy: 76 Nonbinary: 47 Trans woman/girl: 27 Agender: 16 Genderfluid: 7 Genderqueer: 6 Man/boy, unknown or varies if cis or trans: 5 Transfeminine: 3 Bigender: 3 Demigirl: 3 Woman/girl, unknown or varies if cis or trans: 4 Butch: 2 Demigender: 2 Questioning: 2 Intersex: 2 Lesbian: 2 Māhū: 1 Multigender: 1 Queer: 1 Transmasculine: 1 Unlabeled: 1

Bonus answers I enjoyed: [redacted], a man in a certain sense of the word, cat, doesn't care for this, eh, God knows, a link to the Wikipedia page for Stone Butch Blues, it's complicated, man of questionable gender, no gender left beef, lost their gender in the war, people assume she's a woman but she doesn't really care, whatever's funniest, yeah

Where are they from?

In previous OC survey location maps, I've only included a single data point for each character, regardless of how many places they may have connections to. However, this time I've decided to include each place that a character has lived as one data point.

The list of assumptions I use when creating these maps:

Arroyo = Oregon

Mojave Wasteland = Nevada if no more specific locations provided

Capital Wasteland = DC if no more specific locations provided

Vault 101 = DC (I feel like this one isn't geographically accurate, but it's to fit in with the above assumption)

Washington unqualified = Washington state, not DC (even for Fallout 3 characters, especially since I know of a Fallout 3 character who is intended to be from Washington state)

Appalachia = West Virginia unless otherwise specified

NCR = California

Legion territory with no other information given = Arizona (this feels like the biggest generalisation of all to me. Maybe take the Arizona count with a pinch of salt?)

'Near X place' = in the same state as X place

I go by the current fifty US states. No splitting of California or considering Canada to be part of the US

Locations that could not be easily defined or placed in a specific state/country (examples: the US as a general answer, multistate regions of the US, continents, or extraterrestrial locations) have been excluded for the purposes of this map

The map for the US:

Massachusetts: 104 California: 79 Nevada: 77 DC: 74 Arizona: 32 West Virginia: 25 Texas: 17 Utah: 15 Oregon: 14 Colorado: 13 New Mexico: 7 Virginia: 6 Maine: 6 Idaho: 6 Pennsylvania: 5 Illinois: 3 Washington: 3 Louisiana: 3 Florida: 3 Wyoming: 3 Tennessee: 3 New York: 3 Rhode Island: 2 North Carolina: 2 Minnesota: 2 Vermont: 2 Alaska: 2 Missouri: 2 Nebraska: 2 Michigan: 2 Indiana: 2 Kentucky: 2 Oklahoma: 2 Maryland: 2 Montana: 1 Connecticut: 1 Georgia: 1 New Jersey: 1 Wisconsin: 1

And the map for the rest of the world:

Canada: 7 Mexico: 7 UK: 7 Russia: 4 China: 2 Australia: 2 France: 2 Brazil: 1 Ireland: 1 Israel: 1 Finland: 1 Germany: 1 Japan: 1 Panama: 1

Further breakdown of characters from the UK: Wales: 4 (…these are all my guys, what can I say?) England: 2 Unspecified: 1

Has this character ever lived in a vault?

Yes: 223 No: 366

Faction

Minutemen: 99 Railroad: 86 Followers of the Apocalypse: 80 Brotherhood of Steel: 77 Yes Man/Independent Vegas: 63 NCR: 50 Caesar's Legion: 38 Original faction: 36 Institute: 26 Kings: 16 Great Khans: 14 Nuka-World raiders: 13 Mr House: 13 Raiders in general: 13 Goodneighbor: 11 Enclave: 11 Arroyo: 9 Think Tank/Big MT: 8 Reilly's Rangers: 7 Underworld: 7 Ciphers: 7 (would you believe me if I said the majority here are not mine? XD) Responders: 6 Acadia: 6 New Vegas Strip in general: 6 Lyons' Pride: 5 Children of Atom: 5 Megaton: 5 Gunners: 5 Boomers: 5 Powder Gangers: 5 Cult of the Mothman (all variations): 4 Crimson Caravan: 4 Chairmen: 4 Mojave Express: 4 Necropolis: 3 Shady Sands (pre-NCR): 3 Vault 13: 3 Twin Mothers: 3 Diamond City: 3 Freeside: 3 White Glove Society: 3 Vault-Tec: 3 Bishop family: 3 Regulators: 2 Tunnel Snakes: 2 New Canaan: 2 Gecko: 2 Settlers/Foundation: 2 Abolitionists/Temple of the Union: 2 Galaxy News Radio: 2 80s: 2 Desert Rangers: 2 Unity/Master's Army: 2 Vault 76: 2 US Government: 2 Broken Hills: 2 Sanctuary: 2 Blue Ridge Caravan Company: 2 Goodsprings: 2 Cutthroat raiders: 2 Feral ghouls: 2 Hub: 2 Ghouls in general: 2 Nuka-World in general: 2 Little Lamplight/Big Town: 2

And the list of factions with one response, allegedly for the sake of something called 'brevity': Boulder scientists, Vault City, Littlehorn & Associates, Jacobstown, New Reno, Brotherhood Outcasts, Marked Men, Mole Miners, Treeminders, Forged, Junktown, Triggermen, Free States, Vault 101, Vault 81, Slags, Hubris Comics, Bunker Hill, Rivet City, Van Graffs, Ug-Qualtoth, West Tek, Vault 95, Novac, Atom Cats, The Outer Worlds factions, Commonwealth Super Mutants, caravan companies in general

I was initially planning to include a separate 'ish' category for each faction, to account for characters that are aligned with factions unwillingly/temporarily/out of necessity, but looking at the dataset, that sort of situation was so much more prevalent than I realised and quickly made everything very clunky.

Main approach to problems

Diplomacy: 211 Combat: 147 Stealth: 101 Technical skills: 79 Avoidance: 53

And finally for now- preferred weapon type

Small guns: 191 Melee: 128 Energy weapons: 91 Big guns: 82 Avoids combat altogether: 49 Explosives: 27 Unarmed combat: 24

-

As always, thank you to everyone who participated and gave me a little information about your OCs! If you'd ever like to talk more about them, my inbox is always open :D. Getting to learn about everyone's brainchildren is definitely my favourite aspect of my tangential foray into the Fallout fandom sphere.

My future plan for this dataset includes… a lot of pie charts, to put it mildly. As I've done for past survey datasets, I'll be compiling pie charts for each question, separating responses by the game that the characters are from, and we'll see if any trends emerge!

[eekysqueaky]

vote for your fav of my kink ocs! the basics and propaganda are under the cut 👇

info 👇👇👇👇👇👇

MAX: she-her / cis woman / bisexual / 50 sex: vers tickling: top role: soft domme

APPEAL: recent divorcee getting into kink for the first time. a gentle and encouraging tickler. milfy. big boobs (WILL let you suck on them)

DR MIN: they-them / agender / bisexual / 57 sex: top tickling: top role: dom

APPEAL: mad scientist. wants to strap you down and experiment on you. always wearing medical gloves. might test out a serum that makes you 10x more sensitive. meanest tickler on the list.

DAWA: he-him / cis man / gay / 41 sex: top tickling: top role: dom

APPEAL: hairy muscly bear. um.. sweaty and musky. loves to wrestle and chase ... look out he's gonna getcha!!! my fav of my ocs I LOVE U DAWA

PR♆NCE NEPTUNE: they-them / nonbinary / bisexual / 33 sex: vers tickling: top (...most of the time) role: neutral

APPEAL: pop star. hedonist. they'll lay you down on silk sheets and stroke you all over with a peacock feather. huge on praise/worship. exhibitionist.

0 (oh): they-she / android sex: top tickling: switch (...literally has switches. that you can turn on and off) role: neutral

APPEAL: curious android who wants to poke around your body .. curious about having you poke around in her wires too. just discovered gender and wants to get dressed up pretty.

PHILIPPE: he-him / trans man / bisexual / 31 sex: vers tickling: switch role: sub

APPEAL: fairly vanilla + new to kink. belly fan. voted most likely to go easy on you, but that doesn't mean he won't tease you about it all. super playful (and he plays fair!)

EVER: she-her / trans woman / bisexual / 33 sex: bottom tickling: switch dominance: domme, brat

APPEAL: huge flirt. foodplay thing. does NOT play fair. will let you wreck her just so she can get you back twice as bad after. hugely into genital tickling especially.

NICOLA: she-her / cis woman / lesbian / 28 sex: vers tickling: bottom role: sub, neutral

APPEAL: shy girl. hard af to make her laugh. not very ticklish at all but she still loves it. oral fixation, loves giving head, loves getting head. will do anything to get her sides gently stroked <3

SACHA: they-he / nonbinary / gay / 29 sex: bottom tickling: bottom role: switch, power bottom

APPEAL: hardcore endurance player. you WILL tap out before they do. has a million body mods and sensitivity enhancements. strong contender for most ticklish person in the galaxy.

TIM: he-him / cis man / bisexual / 38 sex: top tickling: bottom (but will not admit it) role: sub

APPEAL: most embarrassed man you will ever meet. TERRIFIED of being tickled but thinks about it 24/7. extremely sensitive ears. don't whisper in his ear he'll cum in his pants!!!

[lovelyrotter]

making this into its own post actually cause genuinely we are LGBTQ+ all at once and we all lived our queer lives uniquely, even though we share a body and a life. we are queer in tandem with eachother and its wild

like we got every kinda flavour of sapphic and achillean and we got wildly different xenogendered ppl. we got aces and aros who experience their aceness and aroness completely differently to e/o

and i think living as a queer system has really changed the way we look at EVERYTHING queer-orientated. i think queer systems have a unique perspective on gender and sexuality that should be talked abt and listened to and jammed about more, cause we got some really valuable stuff to say tbh. i could dedicate an entire day detailing all the different xenogendered folks experiences and relationships with 'human gender' in here and thats just a single subtype of queer in this system. non-human headmates especially cause we have everything from illuminated beasts to an AI android. i mean fuck, i myself ID more with corvids than i do humans. genuine bird-gender right here. it dont make sense and it dont have to

ALSO this absolutely sounds wack but since our host/s have been consistently trans men since the dawn of time, we've very solidly considered our body to be a Mans Body for almost the same amount of time, and bc of that a good portion of our trans men dont feel physically dysphoric a lotta the time anymore, which to us is really fuckin good progress in terms of comfort and long term inter-system functionality. we are okay with not going on T for the sake of our girlies cause we love our girlies and they love us. this is what our functional plurality looks like. which leads me into talkin about our girlies and their gender

cis girls are kinda rare in our system and also are more cautious abt being on front cause of ✨ gender-based trauma✨ , but when they DO front they almost feel transfemme. not in a trans woman life-experience kind of way, absolutely not, but in the way they feel genuinely dysphoric sometimes, because even they consider our body to be a Mans Body, regardless of the fact that we're no-op no-hrt. its really fuckin cool and tbh adds serious weight to the fact that gender is entirely a social construct and doesnt correlate to body sex or shape AT ALL. i think cisness is a coincidence as much as transness is and thats fuckin weird and wonderful. gender is weird /pos

[grizzlyofthesea]

Dumb Vocaloid Headcanons Part 1: Internet Co.

All

Andriods/robots of various levels of human resemblance

Voicebank upgrades correspond to hardware upgrades.

Primarily made for music, but they also have combat skills.

Each one has a unique music-related weapon/ability, which I'll elaborate on in another post. (I got this idea from the manga Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter. It's...an experience. Kinda chaotic, and the translation I found isn't always the clearest, but it's cute, harmless fun focused on the first few Internet Co. Vocaloids. If you want to see himbo Gackpo in a fundoshi, this is the manga for you.)

Generally get along well with the Cryptonloids

One huge, generally happy family

Camui Gackpo (Gackpoid)

The most robotic/android-like of the bunch in terms of physical structure, but good gosh, does he have feelings

His "bodysuit" is just what his body looks like (he can morph it into a more human-looking appearance, though), and that weird glowy spot on his chest is his power core.

Can change his eye and power core colors at will

Has a whole army of eggplant horses

A chivalrous gentleman, but he has his goofy moments

An expert in hair care

Cishet ally

Dating/in love with GUMI

GUMI (Megpoid)

Huge science and sci-fi nerd

Has a visible battery gauge on each of her designs, which takes the form of a red jewel. It blinks when her battery is running low. (another idea from Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter)

BFFs with Miku, Luka, Lily, and CUL

Owns a carrot rocket equipped with missiles

Her goggles have several functions, including night vision, tracking, and looking cool.

Lives for the aesthetics of the 1960s-1980s

A little bit scatterbrained, but she tries

Hoping that everyone else (or at least Gackpo and Una) joins her on VOCALOID6 and gets an AI voicebank

Bisexual

Dating/in love with Gackpo

Lily

Beta/production name was Yuripoid (not actually, but in my headcanon). This didn't stick for multiple reasons.

Her tattoo doubles as a battery meter, "draining" from top to bottom as her power depletes.

Likes lollipops (yet another idea from Megu Megu Singer Song Fighter)

The "cool older sister" of the group

Infamous for speeding on her motorcycle

Keeps a couple of beehives, from which she harvests honey

Demi/heteroromantic asexual

Exchanges makeup tips with Gackpo

Ryuto (Gachapoid)

Obsessed with dinosaurs, to the point where he has memorized every species

Basically GUMI's little brother

His arm warmers serve to make his elbow joints slightly less obvious; his shoes do the same thing for his ankles.

Favorite meal is dino nuggies with waffle fries

Friends with Yuki and Oliver

Really wants a pet puppy

Favorite holiday is Halloween

Big fan of FNAF, even if it scares him sometimes

A little bit self-conscious about his buck teeth

Always carries a notebook and markers with him in his backpack

CUL

Huge Madoka Magica fan; cried at Sayaka's death

Doesn't always get along with her sisters, but she loves them all dearly

Gets into arguments with Gackpo over who "stole" the other's hairstyle

Her eyes double as cameras

Favorite foods are Pocky and tempura shrimp

Shops exclusively at thrift stores and Hot Topic

Knows all the jokes about her name's meaning in French; not amused at all

Lesbian; has a bit of a crush on flower

Secretly collects porcelain dolls

galaco

Huge space nerd

Loves to nerd out over space with GUMI

Has always wanted to be a princess

Has jet boots; can use them to float in place or skate around

The first one to lack any visibly robotic traits

BFFs with MAYU

Loves listening to video game soundtracks

Aroace

Plays a lot of TF2 in her spare time; mains Demoman

kokone

Kind of shy, especially around new people

Huge book nerd; favorite genre is fantasy

LOVES animals

Favorite food is raindrop cake

Surprisingly big fan of horror movies

Gets cold easily

Likes to do prank phone calls with GUMI; they switch places periodically, pretending to be the same person

Trans girl (pronouns are she/her); polysexual

Wants to write and illustrate her own manga series

Rana

Technically developed by We've Inc. as a collab with Internet Co., but since she's the only one from We've Inc, the Internet Co. crew includes her as one of their own.

Really wants to be a magical girl; has designed her own weapon and transformation device

Has a massive collection of teddy bears

Practically lives in her hoodie

Feels a bit weird about being literally 0 years old, but tries to ignore it

Sugar cookies make her life worth living

Carries a variety of glitter with her at all times

Chika

The mom friend

Has regular lunch outings with Mew and MEIKO

A talented tailor

Lives for vintage clothing

Has an entire cupboard full of various herbal teas

A little bit disappointed about her unpopularity, but she has mostly accepted it at this point

Tends a butterfly garden

Cishet ally

Really good at cooking and baking

Otomachi Una

Her hat is alive.

Views Rana as a rival; Rana doesn't really care

Looks up to GUMI

Can hold her breath for ten minutes

Tends a koi pond

Loves to experiment with different hair dyes

Sometimes wears fake glasses for the sake of fashion

Owns a swimmable mermaid tail (fades from indigo to lime green, then cotton candy pink); loves showing it off

Just beginning to question her sexuality

Will eat every piece of cheesecake in a five mile radius

ROSA

A CeVIO/upcoming SynthV vocal rather than a Vocaloid, but since she was made in collaboration with Internet Co. and CUL is her older sister, she hangs out with the Internet Co. crew often

Gets along well with Gackpo for their shared love of traditional Japanese culture

Insists that she "was born in the wrong generation"

Loves rose-flavored macarons, but her favorite food is salmon nigiri

Gets picked on by some of her older sisters, so she has learned to be a bit sassy as a defense mechanism

Genderfaer (pronouns are she/her and occasionally they/them); pansexual

In the process of collecting all of the Vocaloid Nendoroids (except the Miku ones; there are way too many)

[maddsmallow]

rambles about my thoughts on dbh under the cut that im not gonna tag bc i dont want people who disagree to come at me lmao

idek how to start this. i think one important thing to point out tho is that, that one post that was like “writing is like the adult version of playing with dolls” totally blew my mind when i first read it and i absolutely apply that to fictional characters. they are just little dolls humans create to reflect ourselves and tell stories and i think that’s absolutely brilliant

okay so anyways. basically it’s pretty obvious that connor is generally the most liked character in the game and like. yes i am part of that group lmao. and i think the reasons for that is because connor has to spend pretty much the whole game trying to figure out who and what he is and/or wants, whereas kara and markus pretty much know immediately--breaking through their programming and becoming deviant happens at like, what, their second or third part? connor has to spend all this time interacting with others and trying to process all this new information, and we get to see him come face to face with all this stuff that contradicts what his programming it telling him, and We Angsty Bitches love that shit lmaooo. it leaves connor’s characterization a little more open-ended, whereas kara and markus are pretty set in who they are, which ties into the “playing with dolls” thing. you can do more with connor without going completely against canon than you can with kara and markus, you have more leeway with his character. also i think he can be seen as like, uh, idk how to word it, autistic-coded? which is def super relatable

but i think kara’s part of the story is totally slept on!!! i mean i didnt appreciate is much at first either, but then i had a conversation with my older brother about it and it completely changed my view on it. he asked me what i thought about the plot twist of alice being an android and i was like eh yeah i saw it coming, i dont feel like it did much for the story, i didnt get the point. (and admittedly i am very awful with seeing the deeper meaning of things until told. it’s something i recognize and am trying to work to get better at) and he said [shortened] “up until the reveal, the message was ‘androids are worthy of consideration, and here is an example of an android going above and beyond to care for this human girl.’ after the reveal it became ‘androids are worthy of consideration, and YOU want them to be safe and live happily.’“ totally blew mind. the story makes you take a step back and confront your biases and potential bigotry--you either have to admit that you think all the effort wasnt worth it because alice was an android and come face to face with your prejudice, or make you admit that all that time and effort was just as worthwhile as if she were human and you do care about androids. and then of course, this is all an allegory for real life bigotry against persecute minority groups. so i just feel like kara’s storyline importance to the game is just so fuckin underappreciated.

markus is the one one i have only a little to say about, and that’s just because the angry violent route is seen as a bad route and like. i get it. violence bad n all, but im also kind of with north. the anger is justified in my opinion. i mean idk if that’s just because im so fucking sick and tired of seeing my trans and queer siblings die by the hands of bigots and seeing my home country becoming overrun with fascists who wont and dont listen to peaceful protests, but idk. the whole “violence is bad wahh” thing feels icky to me. i mean i do think it has the same outcome (depending on how you play connor’s storyline) as a peaceful protest where the US has to recognize that androids are equal people, but still. idk. i think his story presenting that dilemma of peaceful or violence for the right to live is very important tho, especially is this day and age, considering, yknow. yknow.

anyways

also this is hard to explain, and im very worried about being misunderstood or having words put into my mouth, but i think connor and hank are both good as father/son or boyfriends. this literally isnt even an incest think oh my god, i just think that depending on how you view their interactions, both ways of putting them together is great. it’s the “playing with dolls” thing again, just give them the right context and smooching can be great or found family can be great, i love and appreciate both !!

okay thanks for coming to my ted talk i think thats all i wanted to say

edit: OH ONE MORE THING i dont get the love for gavin or rk900. i mean gavin is essentially a huge racist asshole and as far as i know you see rk900 for like 20 seconds. i mean maybe it does fall back into the “playing with dolls” thing where they have so little to their character that it’s easy to just project a bunch of stuff onto them and turn them into whatever you went (like, turning gavin into NOT a huge racist asshole) but idk. it’s not for me personally. u guys have fun tho

ok bye

[fledglingmaster]

I haven't had such vivid nightmares in a couple years. Not to say I haven't had vivid good dreams or any nightmares...but this...I think it was worst because it was a nightmare within a nightmare, within another nightmare. Breaking through a layer and thinking you're awake only to still be trapped. Having to break through again, thinking it's now safe, but it still isn't.

I figure that some of you might appreciate my weird mind. Especially the last nightmare.

I'm glad I don't remember the first nightmare. Something about a storm in a forest, lightning striking. But that's it. I "woke up" on the couch with a raging fever.

The second one, to frame it, was my current life. I was perhaps ten years younger. I was extremely sick, my parents were arguing, I thought my mom was going to leave and my father was going to beat me. (I think this has been a deep seated fear I had from childhood.) I attempted walking to my room but collapsed in the hallway screaming. There were three shut doors, my room, my parent's, and the bathroom, as there are in real life. But they were massive doors and all lined up next to each other. I could sense something awful behind each one. My mom calmed me down and walked me to my room. Once in my bed I was rushed by tall, thin, shadowy figures. I tried to scream but nothing came out.

I then "woke up" from that nightmare. No spooky figures, I wasn't sick, I had a whole different life despite living in the same house. I was an orphan and I wanted to find my mother desperately. I had no memories of my childhood, it was like I was just born an adult. My body was different, I was a trans woman. I had battled a life-long eating disorder (according to others/doctors as my memory only went so fair back) and was finally doing better. Once again I think I was in my 20s. I found a lead to a camp I attended when I was young. As I snuck in I had a fight with a park ranger that wanted to kill all the kids inside the camp with poisonious gas. I ended up beating him to death with a shovel. When I got in the camp I found out it was actually an android manufactoring plant. I watched androids being "born." There was a head android, mother. She taught the child androids on how to blend in with humans. Once a kid needed to grow up the mother android would tear off their face plate, erase the bits of their memory they didn't need, and input skills they did need. They would get a new face plate and their bodies would adjust to look older. I overheard one ask mother if they could be a girl, so she gave them a different face plate and longer hair. Their body changed to look like a young teen girl. At this point I begin questioning am I human or an android? Then it was lunch time...for whatever reason the androids were only fed ground up humans. In comes the park ranger's body and I'm beginning to think I should have let him destroy the plant. Now there will be an army of people eating androids out in the world. But am I one of them? They don't know any better and apparentally they can eat more than just humans, it's just difficult. I'm spotted. Mother says how she missed me and how proud of me she is, I was her most successful student. She never says creation, just student. I watch her chop and grind up the ranger. She forces a seat at the table for me and shoves a tray of raw ground meat at me and says, "welcome home." I must eat it or risk being killed...I no longer can tell if I'm human or android. It's too much to think about. (I could have been a human child that was adopted in and the trauma was too much for me to handle. That's what I told myself at least. But if the end goal was for androids to think they're human...that is the more likely option.)

I woke up for real after that, shaking. I know where some of that came from but wow...I must have a lot of internal conflict going on right now.

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

Not to mention how Penny's decision to get rid of the virus is decided FOR HER. The last shots of her old, robotic form reaching out to the new Penny, silently pleading for help while her friends laugh and smile with the "real" Penny? Completely invalidating her whole arc, from Vol 2 even. She was always a real girl, that was the point of her arc! Ruby tells her that despite her having nuts and bolts instead of squishy guts didn't make her any less human! Penny getting the Winter Maiden powers further confirmed this!

Only for it all to be thrown aside because suddenly Penny isn't a real girl anymore, she's "trapped" under her robotic parts. So they "freed" her, using some weird ass relic magic I couldn't even begin to understand.

The whole hacking thing was gross, too.

And the assisted suicide in the finale by fucking JAUNE "AUTHOR'S PET" ARC. Jaune, who barely interacted with Penny. Who asked him to kill her so she could "choose one thing in her life", a statement eerily similar to actual suicidal people (I was there once, unfortunately. That scene made me so upset... And not in the way it was intended to.)

Have someone else do it! Hell, Weiss has a sword, too! That would have made much more sense!

But no! Now team RWBY + Jaune + Neo are all in some weird ass void island whatever, where they likely WON'T face consequences for literally destroying a WHOLE KINGDOM and displacing literal thousands and thousands of people! Plus the people from Vale and Haven are there too, along with those who are from Vacuo.

They've gathered most of Remnant in one convenient spot for Salem to just nuke away and get THE LAST TWO RELICS. RWBY already basically handed her two of them, now it's only a matter of time before she gets the last two and completes her goal.

Well done, RWBY. Well fucking done.

-🎼

The whole Penny fiasco is just disgusting and hurtful and fucking TRIGGERING for people. That so call trigger warning was an absolute joke and they had no reason to not put a proper trigger warning for that scene. If they knew it was bad enough to need a trigger warning they should know that you can't just slap on a generic trigger warning and call it a day. People are able to handle different things, saying something maybe might possibly be triggering is not going to cut it, especially in a show that never had anything triggering before. Shows like SVU can get away with generic trigger warnings because every episode deals with emotionally heavy themes so it would be more difficult to put each trigger that gets addressed, people going into that show KNOW the kind of content they're getting into, RWBY doesn't have that benefit, they have never touched on something so triggering before, they needed to be specific and make sure people knew what was happening, spoilers be damned.

Penny suffered through the same fucking arc AT LEAST three times and it has become insulting. Just so much of what was done to Penny was ableist and disgusting and an insult to neurodivergent, trans, and anyone with disabilities. I've seen a lot of shows use a robotic or android character as a stand in for someone with mental illness's or being neurodivergent and so many of these shows handle it pretty well, but RWBY just handled it in the most disgusting way possible it's almost like they where trying to make it bad.

We all know CRWBY threw them to Madagascar so they won't have to deal with the consequences of their actions and by the time they get back everyone will have settled into their new norm and calmed down so they can say "See! We where right! Everything worked out fine!" and I am NOT here for it.

Realistically Salem just has to drop a huge fucking rock on Vacuo with her shiny new staff and call it a fucking day. But somehow for some reason the staff will just stop working or whatever to justify her not doing that so RWBY can somehow pull another win out of their asses.

[itsclydebitches]

It's almost like turning Penny human has done nothing but needlessly overcomplicate everything that came after. If she were still a robot, you could easily have Jaune realize that, no matter how much of her aura he restores, aura only heals flesh, not metal and wires and nobody there knows anything about repairing a robot who can harbour a soul. Or, you know, use Watts's hack as the reason she has to die before she's taken over.

The problem seems to be that the writers were working around ensuring that this death was Penny's final death. They clearly wanted to create a situation where the viewer would no longer expect/hope that she would someday return again. Almost any "death" while in her robot body automatically includes that, for the simple reason that we saw it happen before: Penny was super-duper dead in Volume 3, presumably stayed there on the Vytal stage during most of the battle, someone eventually collected her, got her all the way back to Atlas, and Pietro still managed to fix her despite all that time passing. So if she dies from Watts' hack, the viewers will wonder when someone will find her body (even under a flooded Atlas, perhaps) and fix her again. If Jaune can't heal her with a semblance, viewers wonder why no one dragged her body through the Vacuo portal to fix her later If she falls through the void—something I've seen others suggest as opposed to Jaune using his sword—then the viewer knows she's wound up on the island just like our heroes. Bring her back to Remnant when they leave too and fix her.

So they gave her a flesh body, ruining her "I've always been a real girl" arc in the process, so that when Penny died it would be a final thing. She's like Pyrrha now. The group can manage a lot, but they can't manage a non-android resurrection.

For me, if they wanted to kill Penny off while still an android, the change needed to happen with Pietro. The less satisfying option for me would be to kill Pietro off too and claim that he was the only one capable of restoring her. I think it's less satisfying because 1. Pietro was clearly a part of a team and I find it hard to believe that out of all these refugees, not a single one has his brains/is capable of figuring Penny out for themselves, even if it takes awhile. And 2. That involves, you know, killing him off. The black disabled character dies so that the neurodivergent/trans coded character can stay dead. Obviously a writer can do that, nothing is stopping anyone from making their own writing choices... but it would likely leave a sour taste in the viewer's mouth. Just as having Jaune kill Penny already has.

Better imo to eliminate Pietro's claim that he can only resurrect Penny with his aura once more. That doesn't need to be there (especially when it created the expectation that something would come of that statement... and then it didn't). Just tell the group—and the audience—that this resurrection was a one time thing. Make up whatever fantasy/sci-fi nonsense is necessary to justify the hard rule of androids not coming back a second time. So when Penny dies again, we already know Pietro, or anyone else, can't repeat what we saw between Volumes 3 and 7. That reprieve was a one time thing.

RT doesn't seem to be planning this story very far in advance. Or, if they are, they frankly aren't doing a good job of it. It's very easy to kill off Penny without turning her into a "real" girl and erasing eight seasons of work. It's very easy to have Penny die without making Jaune look so eager to throw away his healer identity. It's very easy to get Jaune to fall into the void without keeping him around specifically for a mercy kill. None of this is well thought out and the fact that viewers can so quickly go, "If you just changed X this would work so much better" is a testament to the lack of editing done. Or, evidence of a too casual approach to how all this fits together if RWBY actually got that second, third, etc. draft. It's one of the reasons why I was so pleased to hear that Volume 9 was pushed to next year. The creator's health comes first, obviously, but beyond that I hope the extra time will allow the show to catch more of these moments with simple fixes, but huge consequences. No more Jaune killing Penny when her wound looks minor and Cinder isn't paying any attention to them. (Seriously, I keep seeing the fight as justification for the kill needing to happen fast, but... Cinder didn't care. She straight up ignored them after hitting Penny, focusing entirely on Weiss. It's another example of the animation not aligning with the declaration. Show us Cinder gunning for Penny still, ignoring Weiss every chance she gets, distracting Jaune from healing by necessitating that he blocks new attacks, etc). No more Yang fighting with Ruby only for Blake to act like they had the fight instead. No more high stakes where the answer is a completely random, "Oh yeah, I have a kinetic bomb in my cane that miraculously only touches grimm." RWBY has deeper, structural problems at this point, but a lot would be vastly improved with just a few tweaks made from observations like, "We can definitely make this moment more persuasive" or even just, "That doesn't make sense yet."

[sleevesareforlosers]

also! i know you’ve mentioned quite a few times before in posts/fics about how party and kobra really only met right before they left the city? and i’m not entirely sure if i’ve just missed it but i would LOVE for elaboration specifically on that. i just!! am super interested to know about them and their lives in the city...and how everything shakes out regarding that 👀

!!!! okay thats def one of the more obscure bits of my canon? bc in universe party and kobra dont rlly like talking about it and on a meta level city life isnt rlly something i wanna devote too much energy to writing but i HAVE thought abt it!

i covered it a little bit in this fic but some details have shifted a bit just irt kobras job/timeline bc its over (i think?) a year old and its short so. not super elaborate

so when i say that they hadnt really met before leaving the city its like. they knew each other and lived with each other but they weren't really themselves. party bc of like. reeducation and kobra bc he was really fucked up with a combination of dysphoria and city drugs both prescribed and not (which i *think* ive mentioned arent a given in the city? most people dont get medicated the same way kobra did and not all the city meds are bad)

i will say that they were pretty close before party got reeducated. as close as u can be when ur thirteen and eight at least. but ofc he got taken and came back Completely different and kobra was a smart kid and kinda realized that directly confronting him abt the change would end really badly for both of them. party was rlly susceptible to the reeducation and its not their fault in any way but they definitely would have reported kobra if he'd tried to make a move.

so then once kobra snapped and cut his hair and party snapped out of the reeducation (combination of time since getting bleached and like. still being a caring and loving person under it all and knowing that he should care abt kobra) they escaped obviously and had to do a little crash course in 'how to be siblings' bc until then they were more just. people that lived in the same house and had nothing in common to talk about so they jsut didnt. i hope that makes sense? they knew each other but they didnt Really Know each other

as for what life in the city looked like for them!

i feel like its kinda important to know that their parents were low-level workers so they grew up in the slums on the edge of the city. not the worst part of the city (the lobby) but not downtown or even a suburban area.

party (post reeducation) became a total model student and ended up in a mid/high-level admin position in hq as soon as he graduated, set to get a promotion when he turned 20 and was in the process of trying to move out to a place of his own actually. kept getting their applications rejected bc they didnt have an "approved reason" to not live w their parents (no long-term partner and not a high enough level to qualify for one of the downtown studios). wasn't necessarily getting frustrated with the company but was getting frustrated with not being able to "start his own life" in his own apartment yknow? also a bit of a superiority complex/classism thing bc of having a higher-level job than their parents, wanting to live in a nicer part of the city like the rest of their colleagues. he had a Few friends, mostly from work, but it was nothing like the crew and friends hed had pre-reeducation bc. you know. obviously. it was just a little group of polite, well trained late-teens bli drones who got up to just the right amounts of bli-approved trouble (android girls and mood synthesizers but only on saturdays type deal). um. probably the least bli-approved thing they did was give spare carbons to broken-down droids in street corners and pretend to listen to the ones preaching the graffiti bible. This is all actually a huge reason Why party is so wanted by bli, like apart from the obvious of being a killjoy and fucking up a lot of shit for the company, he was also So close to being a perfect citizen that rebelling and escaping is a real lemon-juice-in-the-papercut for bli

kobra, on the other hand, was about one and a half Minor infractions away from getting reeducated himself. bli mostly saves reeducation and bleaching for people with confirmed rebellious biases or actions, people they dont think would be trusted enough to take their pills basically. theyd get fed up after enough violations though. kobra was on watch as a nuisance, but not a rebel, so he got away with attempts at medication and therapy that were... kinda effective? but he was Really pushing it especially once he got his job in the lobby and started running with lobby kids. really just imagine an absolute menace shithead of a fourteen year old breaking every law he could get his well-manicured but grubby little hands on. i think at some point ive mentioned that half the reason kobra was so good with tech and wiring was bc he picked it up from fucking with scarecrow cars and reprogramming shit about them? yeah. im not gonna say kobra's friends were like. a bad crowd. they were just chafing against city culture in a very specific way. lots of sex, violence, vandalism, underage mood synthesizer use (and by underage i mean even below the technically-underage-but-bli-looks-the-other-way-bc-they-know-people-need-to-feel-rebellious-sometimes age that like. party and his friends started trying them at). this is when he learned how to knife fight too which definitely saved both his and party's life the first night in the zones. on top of this all is the whole trans thing which isnt something thats necessarily frowned upon in the city, but when kobra finally realized what was up he went about it in a non-city-approved way (hacking his hair off with a set of nail clippers rather than like. submitting a transition application) and that absolutely would have been the last straw for him for the city if party had reported him rather than stuffed him in their car and left.

i dont know how to tldr this one but like. they both led really different lives in the city, kobra being rebellious and breaking laws but not in a killjoy way and party being So close to being a perfect citizen as a result of getting reeducated when he was thirteen, so they weren't honest with each other until party's bleaching broke and they left the city and THATS why i say they hadnt really met until they escaped.

[the-glitter-acetylcholine]

Sexual Health Resources!!

Okay, so this list is mostly just links that I want to save for myself, but they could probaly help you too. Almost all of these sites are specifically aimed at afab people, and some of them use feminine gendered language (notably, all links including “girl2girl” assume readers are cis girls), but the info could be useful to anyone. I got most of these links through the girl2girl.org program, which is a 2-ish month long sex ed and pregnancy prevention program for teen wlw. I know this stuff can be super awkward, but it’s really worth knowing, especially since the sex ed system in the U.S. is literal trash.

General Info

https://www.scarleteen.com -- really good info, trans, nb, and intersex inclusive, with specific parts of the site dedicated to gender and disabilities (among other things! i really recommend giving this site a look-through sometimes when you're bored, it's my favorite on this list and it has in-depth information on every category i list below)

https://www.plannedparenthood.org -- similar to scarleteen, though not specifically oriented towards teens; you may already know this, but planned parenthood does more than abortions! check out the "learn" tab for in-depth info on all the categories below.

https://girl2girl.org -- 2-ish month long sex ed program for teen wlw, completed via text (same as above)

https://sexetc.org/states/colorado/ -- info on rights to abortion, birth control, STD testing and more, organized by state (tbh this one is another favorite, the whole site is defo worth exploring)

Domestic Abuse/Sexual Assault

http://TheHotline.org -- info on domestic abuse, 24/7 hotline, and resources for abuse survivors/victims 

http://Loveisrespect.org -- similar to above, specifically for teens and young adults

http://ohl.rainn.org/online -- sexual assault hotline and resources

Pregnancy and STD Prevention

https://quiz.girl2girl.org/? -- quiz to help afabs determine which birth control methods work best for them, provides links to relevant resources upon quiz completion

https://www.nurx.com/our-services/ -- cheap, online birth control, STD testing, emergency contraception, and (bonus!) migrane treatment

https://girl2girl.org/resources/condom-app/ -- information about iCondom app (locates nearby condom purchase options) and links to app store for android and iphone

https://girl2girl.org/contraception/ -- infographic about various afab contraceptives

https://girl2girl.org/sexually-transmitted-diseases/  -- infographic about STDs, their symptoms, and treatment options

https://gettested.cdc.gov -- CDC STD testing options

https://sexetc.org/action-center/clinic-finder/ -- HIV/STD clinic finder (for testing or treatment)

https://www.glydeamerica.com -- vegan condoms, in case you’re worried about latex and all that

https://girl2girl.org/how-to-use-a-condom/ -- video on how to use a condom (don’t worry, it’s not explicit, and it doesn’t automatically play when you open the tab)

https://girl2girl.org/female-condoms/ -- video on how to use a female condom (non-explicit, doesn’t automatically play)

Pregnancy Termination

http://www.afterpill.com -- morning after pill!! (okay, this doesn’t technically count as termination but you do it after sex so I’m putting it here) (also pls know that the shipping isn’t super fast, so if you need the pill immediately, you should get it in person at a pharmacy or large retail store)

https://www.plannedparenthood.org -- planned parenthood site

www.plannedparenthood.org/online-tools/chat -- planned parenthood live chat (not 24/7, unfortunately)

Other Important Info I Don’t Have Links For

Buy condoms that are latex, plyurethane, or ployisoprene, not lambskin. Lambskin can let STDs through.

Use water-based lube; Vaseline or oil-based lube will ruin a condom.

Even if the sex isn’t afab/amab, use protection. STDs are always a danger.

It’s worth using condoms on toys, too, since STDs can’t really be cleaned from a toy’s pores

On that note, get tested often. STDs can be trasmitted by things other than sex, so even if you’re not having sex or you’re sure that you and your partner(s) are clean, you may have picked something up by accident. Even sharing a water bottle can sometimes cause STD transmission, so check. If you picked something up, you’ll want to know sooner rather than later.

Condoms are useful, even for afab/afab sex! “Male” condoms can be altered into dental dams (for oral sex), and they make “female” condoms (which btw are latex-free), too! The links above that give info on birth control nearly all elaborate on this

Try to keep some condoms with you, even if you think there’s literally no way you’d need one. You never know what’ll happen, and it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. Besides, maybe a friend will need one, and then you’ll be friend of the year (afabs, it’s like carrying tampons/pads when you’re not on your period)

Don’t flush condoms down to toilet

Remember condoms are single use!!!

Check the condoms you carry frequently. Make sure they aren’t past their expiration date, and that the packaging hasn’t been punctured or bent. If any of these things have happened, chuck ‘em! They won’t work anymore. (just make sure you remember to replace them, too)

If you smoke, you shouldn’t use birth control pills. This is probably a non-issue bc pills are usually prescribed, but just bear it in mind

Title X clinics (for abortions and other pregnancy options) are great, but be careful! There are organizations that set themselves up near abortion clinics to confuse people. They operate specifically with the agenda to guilt people out of getting an abortion. These places are usually called something along the lines of “Crisis Pregnancy Center” or “Pregnancy Choice”. John Oliver has a 21-minute talk about them here (okay, so maybe I do have a link for this one lol) (btw this is a youtube link, so it plays automatically).

update mar. 10, '21: i added a few links and, though i've discovered i'm not actually wlw, but the info from all these sites has been and continues to be extremely useful to me! remember that you don't have to be a cis girl or AFAB for these sites to be worth looking at!

[connorandersons-blog]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Connor/Gavin Reed Characters: Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Gavin Reed, Jeffrey Fowler, Hank Anderson, Gavin Reed's Cat, Doa Gavin Reed's Cat Additional Tags: Injury, Stitches, Injury Recovery, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Enemies to Lovers, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has a Vagina, Trans Character, Trans Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, Masturbation, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, 69 (Sex Position), Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human) Summary:

Gavin Reed wasn't one to throw himself into danger unnecessary. That's actually a lie but don't tell him you know that. Its still a shock when he throws himself in front of danger for Connor, the android he supposedly hates with a passion.

-----------------------------------

"What?! Why me!" He looked out at the precinct, surely someone more qualified would be better for this job. Taking care of Reed, the resident asshole, who got shot and then stabbed? That wasn't Connor's job even if he felt guilty as hell. 

Fowler surely would have groaned in annoyance if it was acceptable, instead, the vein in his head seemed to grow larger to the point Connor was honestly worried. That man needed a vacation badly, maybe he should just go along with this terrible idea. "You were there when he got fucking injured and he needs to rest. The last time he got hurt he tried to come back the moment he could drag himself out of bed." 

Connor could see that Reed was stubborn to a fault and incredibly dedicated to his work. Not that he admired that stupid human. Nope. 

He still should have been able to protect Reed, he should be the one with the bullet yet… yet Gavin had pushed him out of the way and then took the knife wound as well. Why he did that Connor wasn't sure, but Reed had made him promise not to let anyone know what really happened. So Connor had simply said he outran Gavin and couldn't get back to him on time when the killer pulled a knife. 

"Alright, I need his address." He could see the surprise on Fowler's face when he gave in so easily, but he still rattled off Reed's address. Connor nodded, filing it away before waiting to be dismissed. 

"Let Hank know, but you're free to go for the rest of the week. You haven't taken a single day off and I'm tired of seeing your face." Fowler waved him off and Connor nodded. 

He'd still have Hank send him the files, he couldn't take a full week off. He just couldn't sit around and do nothing. Maybe Markus would have something for him to do too, he doubted Reed would even let him check in on him. 

He stopped by his desk, grabbing his jacket and informing Hank of his fate. He let out a long huff when Hank burst into laughter, and he flipped him the bird before leaving. Some help he was. 

He went by his place first, changing to more casual clothes that consisted of a forest green-tipped pique polo shirt, and a pair of distressed skinny jeans. He didn't have a pet to say hello and goodbye to, so he went straight to Reed's place, taking a cab. 

For some reason, he imagined Reed living in a shitty apartment, but instead, he found an adorable-looking Tudor-Style house. It had the normal features of one: steeply pitched roof, prominent cross gables, decorative half-timbering, and tall, narrow windows with small window panes. It was a small two-story, but from what he could tell it had a large backyard, and the front yard was nothing to scoff at either. 

He came up the walkway but stalled when he got to the door. He didn't want Reed to get up given his injuries, but he couldn't walk in unannounced. So he knocked on the door listening for any movement. "Detective Reed, it's Connor. I've been sent to help in your recovery." 

There was some shuffling and perhaps the sound of a cat meowing. "Fuck off Tincan!" Reed yelled before it went silent again. 

"I'm afraid I cannot do that. I must make sure you become fully recovered, and you getting up prematurely will hinder that." Why did he even have to be this stubborn? It wasn't like Connor would judge him, he had no right to given that it was his fault. 

"I said, FUCK. OFF." Reed screamed before starting to let out a terrible hacking cough. 

Connor only paused for a second longer before opening the door, a bit shocked that it was unlocked. He didn't focus on interior design, just on the figure laying on the couch convulsing slightly. 

He dropped into a crouch, scanning over Reed and grimacing at the sight. "Fucking hell Reed, you pulled your stitches." He wanted to swat at him, to tell him how he should be more careful but that would have to wait. 

He ignored Reed's squawks of protest as he lifted his shirt to expose the bloody gauze wrapped around him. "A bed would be better, and where is your first aid? I may need to restitch this." He hadn't moved the gauze yet, especially if he planned on moving Reed.  

"Fuck you, bedroom is upstairs and the first aid-" Gavin let out another cough, wincing when it pulled at his injuries, "-first aid is in the bathroom joining it." 

Connor nodded, only now seeing the very adorable cat that blinked at him with curious eyes. "I apologize in advance as this will hurt." He mumbled, putting an arm under Gavin's knees and the back. 

"Hey, hey, Tincan wait!" Gavin hissed as he was lifted up, Connor ignoring his protests again. "Fuck! Connor." His name came out like a whine as he made his way over to the staircase. 

The cat followed along behind, keeping pace but making sure not to trip Connor up. 

There were only two rooms upstairs, the bathroom and bedroom, and the bedroom was completely open, with no door to close it off from the stairs. 

The Abner upholstered sleigh bed looked soft enough so he placed Gavin on it carefully. The cat jumped up and laid down beside Gavin letting out a low purr. Connor went to the bathroom, and just like the bedroom, it was modern in style. 

There was a little built-in shelf that held different supplies along with a huge first aid kit. Connor grabbed it, making his way out to see Gavin cooing at his cat. "So good, you're my good girl." 

Connor set the kit down, opening it up and thankfully finding it fully stocked. It had more than enough supplies, he could stitch him up here without worrying. "She is very pretty, what's her name?" 

Gavin glared at him before he let out a sigh. "Doa, her name is Doa."

Connor nodded and helped him out of the shirt fully, gently pulling off the gauze. They both winced, but Connor bit down on his lip to stop from worrying out loud. 

He grabbed a swab and the alcohol, hovering over the bloody skin. "This is gonna hurt." He warned. 

"Nah dip." Gavin glared before tensing and letting out a long whine as Connor started to clean the area. Thankfully the bullet hole was alright, but he still made sure it was clean. 

"Sorry, sorry," Connor mumbled, throwing away the swab. "Alright, time to close it up again. You doing ok?" 

Gavin sagged back onto the bed, panting slightly. "No thanks to you." 

Connor nodded, glaring at the wounds. This was his fault, but now he was helping. "You are the one that jumped in front of me. You didn't have to." Not that he wasn't appreciative, he saved him a lot of trouble and pain. 

He applied some ointment to help numb the area before grabbing the needle. Gavin winced slightly but stayed still otherwise. "I did you ass. Can't have the DPD golden boy down for the count." 

Connor kept his eyes on his work but he wanted to look up at Gavin. "Humans are far more fragile, I could have taken it. Now you're suffering because of me." He could get repaired and be back the next day if he was lucky. It would hurt but he'd be fine and with minimal lasting damage. Gavin could be left with even more scars. 

His fingers brushed over one that was close to the wound, wondering how he got that one. Was he protecting someone else or himself? Gavin let out a small gasp and Connor pulled his hand back, biting down on his lip. 

He finished up the stitches in silence, ignoring how his hands wanted to linger on Gavin's warm skin. It was stupid to want to touch, he hated this stupid, reckless, foolish, good-hearted human. Fuck. 

"There," Connor said once finally done. He put on new gauze, content with his hard work. His hands didn't shake so the stitches were perfect, now Gavin had to not agitate them. 

"Thanks, I guess." Gavin didn't move except to keep petting Doa who hadn't moved from her spot either. "Not your fault, though." 

Connor rolled his eyes, closing the first aid and putting it right back where he found it. "I should have seen it coming and reacted accordingly, you shouldn't have even had to do that. I don't see how that's not my fault." 

Gavin let out a groan as he tried to sit up, but Connor was quick to help, putting pillows behind him. "Shit, that burns. Really though, and I'm not going to say this again so don't let it go to your head, ok? It ain't your fault, you don't gotta be perfect, and without you… without you, the DPD wouldn't be the same anymore." 

Gavin stared at his cat, cheeks getting a nice dusting of pink. Connor blinked, mouth falling open slightly. "Gavin…" he had no idea what to say. 

"Whatever. Just fuck off or whatever. Actually, since you're here can you make me some lunch? I uh, haven't been able to move since I got home." Gavin still couldn't look at him, but Connor couldn't seem to keep his eyes away. 

He hated how good Gavin looked, even with his injuries. His hair was ruffled, and his sweat pants looked a little too good on him hanging so lowly on his hips. The rings attached to Gavin's nipples, and he could see scars of where other piercings would be. Connor could see the v of his hips and he wanted to lick his way down, take Gavin's co–oh fuck. 

He nodded and all but ran back downstairs, glad that the inside was open-concept and modern in style so he didn't have to go searching for the kitchen. 

He went through the cabinets, finding some canned soup and grabbing it. Heating it up and making sure it wouldn't be too hot, along with getting a cup of water gave Connor enough time to get his body and mind under control. He still shifted, annoyed at how easily he got wet. 

He wanted to take more time, to reach down and rub at his cunt until he came but that would be highly inappropriate. He couldn't get off to Reed even if he was very attractive and had saved Connor. 

He took the bowl of soup and water up on a tray, placing it on Gavin's lap. "Here you go. Maybe I should look after you, you should have someone here given your injuries." If Gavin couldn't even move to get food then he'd need someone there. 

Gavin started eating his soup quickly, half-heartedly glaring at Connor. He didn't argue, though, but Connor just assumed that was because he was too focused on eating. 

Connor sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out towards Doa. She sniffed at his hand before pushing against it, her purr only getting louder. He ran a hand through his thick gray fur, letting out his own little hum at the softness. 

"Slow down, you don't wanna choke." He mumbled. 

"Screw you, I'm hungry. Maybe I like being choked." Gavin snickered, but he did eat a bit slower after. 

Connor's face felt like it was going to melt off with how hot it was, and he kept his head ducked to hide the blush. He did not need to start imagining things again, especially when he couldn't do anything about it. Even if he thought Gavin would reciprocate for a one-night stand or… or more, he couldn't with Gavin's injuries. He wasn't supposed to do any strenuous activity and Connor was absolutely certain sex counted as that. 

"You're cute when you blush," Gavin mumbled and set the bowl off to the side. "Fuck, wow these pain meds are strong." 

And that, Gavin, wasn't even in his right mind. The meds would keep it all foggy so the pain wouldn't become overbearing. That still didn't mean Connor didn't blush harder and put a hand over his face. "Gavin, maybe you should get some sleep?" 

"Can't. I feel dirty, haven't been able to take a shower. I can't though, and I can't take a bath. Don't know what the doctor expected me to do. Not like I can just get a sponge bath from my cat." Gavin started chuckling at the mental image of that but stopping when it became too much. 

"I'll do it," Connor said without thinking. He wanted to slap himself but he couldn't take it back now. 

Gavin raised an eyebrow but shrugged. "You know what? Fuck it, why not. Already took a bullet for you, might as well let you see it all. Not like I'm shy. Towels are in the bathroom too." 

Connor found what he needed easily, returning to the bed and laying out a towel on it so the sheets wouldn't get dirty. He helped Gavin onto the towel, laying on his side, and then stalled. "Um, I can do your top first? Or just your chest, if you want." 

Gavin huffed and started wiggling, trying to push his sweatpants down without bending. Connor grabbed his hips, keeping him still. "Hey, hey stop. I just fixed your stitches, don't make me do it again." 

Gavin was facing away from Connor, but he turned his head to glance back at him. "It's alright, really. I don't care if people see me naked, it's just a body, right?" 

Right, just a body. Just a very good-looking body that he was going to be rubbing and soaping up. He was careful pulling the sweats down, looking past Gavin before folding the pants. 

He took the wet rag and dragged it over Gavins back, completely ignoring Gavin's ass or anything lower for now. He was careful with the rag, grabbing the soaping one and working on that silently. Gavin's back was toned and he had a small tattoo of the word Alive that Connor brushed his fingers over. It seemed like a promise to himself somehow, but Connor didn't ask about it. It seemed a bit too personal as ironic as that was given their situation. 

"You still ok?" He asked as he started to wash the soap off his back. Gavin had been oddly quiet, but he didn't seem tense. 

Gavin gave a low hum, nodding his head. He still didn't make a noise, but perhaps he was just tired. He grabbed the rag for just water and hovered over Gavin's skin. He rubbed at the small of his back before going down to his ass, trying to make it quick. 

He switched to the soap and this time took more time. He really did try not to get caught up in it, but his thighs pressed together as he washed Gavin's ass. He dipped the cloth between his ass and froze when Gavin shivered, letting out a choked-off moan. 

Shit. Fucking hell. "I… Gavin." He didn't know what to say, he would stop but part of him wanted to keep going. 

"Sorry, sorry. Uh, you don't have to stop if you don't want to." Gavin bit out, voice sounding strange. Oh, that's why he wasn't talking. 

"Ok." He kept cleaning, taking his time even more now that he knew it was definitely alright. His own breathing became a little labored biting down on his tongue to keep his interested sounds at bay. 

He finished Gavin's back before helping him lay on his back. Gavin's hand covered his cock and Connor tried not to look. 

"Um, shit weird question…" Gavin trailed off, staring up at the ceiling. "Do you have a… um, you know." 

Connor started on his chest, specifically those pink nipples that had rings hanging from this deliciously, pausing at Gavin's question. "I do not have a penis if that's what you're wondering." 

"Huh. Nothing down there… isn't there like parts you can get?" 

"Oh, I never said I had nothing. I came with a vagina, and I haven't thought of changing it." He gave a small shrug, taking Gavin's right arm and cleaning it with gentle circular strokes. 

Gavin finally looked over at him, both of their faces flushed but with different colors. "Huh, wonder why they did that. Is it, like–uh, reactive? Or does it act like a human one?" 

God how he wanted to take Gavin's hand and show him how reactive he is. How dripping wet he can get, and how wet he already was just from this. "Yeah, sometimes I think it's more sensitive than humans." 

"Cool, yeah, yeah makes sense." Gavin looked away, and Connor took his other arm, fully exposing him but Connor did not look down. He kept his eyes on Gavin's chest and arms. 

"Should I… or maybe you should clean your penis?" Now he did glance at it and felt himself drool a little bit. It was nice and thick, not too long that would be uncomfortable though. It was hard and standing at attention, and Connor really wanted to wrap his lips around it. "Uh…" 

"You can? I'm sorry, I didn't know I'd react this way? It feels really good and I guess I just, I'm relaxed and, yeah." Gavin stumbled over his words, but he didn't try to cover himself again. 

Connor cleaned around first, not trying to tease the man but he was definitely stalling. Gavin let out a huff when Connor swiped over his hip again, reaching out to cover Connor's hand and guide it to cover his dick. He gasped, his hand tightening over Connor's and therefore Connor's hand tightened around his length. 

He swiped up then down before pulling his hand back. His hand dipped down, very briefly swiping over his balls and letting out a long exhale when Gavin outright moaned. 

"Sorry, sorry. Just gotta do your legs then you're good." Connor murmured, peeling his eyes away from the appealing sight. 

"Fuck, it's ok, I should be the one apologizing." Gavin subconsciously spread his legs and Connor took the opportunity to wash his thighs. Damn those thighs could crush his skull and he'd say thank you. 

Connor shook his head, even if he wasn't attracted to him he wouldn't blame him, bodies reacted even when you didn't want them to. "There's no need, I'd be a bit worried if you were stimulated and didn't achieve an erection." 

Gavin snorted, eyes falling closed as Connor all but massaged his legs. His erection still stood proud but Gavin didn't reach for it and Connor tried to ignore it. 

"Right. All finished. I'm going to put this away and maybe even clean myself up in your bathroom if that's alright?" He said once Gavin was cleaned off and patted dry. 

He didn't really wait for a response, escaping into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He tingled with want and after putting away the supplies he turned the shower on but didn't get in. Instead, he sat on the toilet and shoved his hands in his pants. If he did this fast then maybe he wouldn't feel so guilty. 

He rubbed his fingers in quick little circles, pressing down just enough to have his legs twitching to close around his hand. His whole stomach tensed as he sped up, already slick with want and he had to bite down on his knuckles to keep from crying out. 

He wouldn't finger himself, this would be the fastest and cleanest way, not that he wouldn't need to wash his hands anyway. He’s pulsing and wetter than he can ever remember being in his entire life, and he can't help but imagine the man in the next room. 

Would he eat him out? He probably would, Connor would lay back and Gavin would tease him endlessly with his tongue. Connor would want to touch everywhere, that tattoo, those soft but firm muscles, those fucking nipple piercings that he'll never be able to forget are there. 

He lets out a small gasp, head falling back as his hips trying to lift off the seat and into his own head desperately. He wants more, he wants Gavin's fingers inside him and he wants his cock to fill him up. 

He throbs, even more, fingers working faster as he lets out a suppressed moan. Fuck it felt good, and he was so close. He'd take Gavin into his mouth like he wanted. He'd let Gavin fuck his throat until his vocal box was completely destroyed. 

His thighs start to tighten and he can feel the pressure of his orgasm start to rip through him. He lets out a strained moan as he convulses and his thighs constrict around his hand. 

He has to pull his hand away when it gets too much and he's left panting. His eyes closed from pure bliss, but after a few seconds, they blink open. It hadn't taken long at all, he was pretty sure that was a personal record. 

He cleaned himself up and washed his hands before shutting the shower off and opening the door. He should have knocked, he should have not done what he just did but all he can think about is the hiss of pain. 

His eyes widen as he sees Gavin on the bed, his cock in his hand as he strokes himself quickly. His body is clenched tight, curling forward and Connor can see the stitches being pulled. 

He rushed over and without thinking covered Gavin's hand, using the other to push him flat against the bed. "Stop, you're gonna hurt yourself." He scolded. 

Gavin whined, hips bucking up into their hands. "Please, shit please I'm close, let me finish. I'm so sorry, I thought, shit you aren't wet. You didn't take a shower?" 

Now it was Connor's turn to flush, having forgotten to actually jump in to make it seem like he'd showered. "I–you can't, you're bending forward and agitating your wounds." 

"Either let me and stay, let me and leave, or do it your damn self but I need to, you fucker." Gavin growled, trying to move his hand but Connor swatted it away. This was his fault too and he'd take care of it. 

"Alright, lay flat and try not to move, I'll take care of you." Even after just coming he could already feel that tingly want for more. He truly was insatiable, but that wasn't anything new. 

Gavin nodded eagerly, hands going to grasp at the bedsheets under him as Connor slowly stroked up and down. It would be better if Connor did this, he knew that if he left Gavin would do it so that was the better of two options. He could make sure Gavin didn't strain himself, and an orgasm would be good for his pain. 

The hand that had pushed Gavin down trailed to his nipple, twirling the jewelry around before tugging ever so slightly. Gavin whimpered, dick twitching in Connor's hand so he did it again but harsher. 

His own hips sought out friction but he denied himself, he needed a hand to keep Gavin down and one to pleasure him. He licked his lips in thought before grinning widely. 

He leaned forward, licking over the head before taking it into his mouth and sucking. Connor's hand on his chest kept him from jolting him but he couldn't stop his hips from bucking up. Connor whimpered at the length in his mouth, sinking all the way down. 

"Fuck! Your mouth is so warm." Gavin said in awe, his voice husky and raw already. "Sit on me." 

Connor pulled back with a pop, licking over his lips again. "Sitting on your chest could injure you more." 

"No, sit on my face. It'll keep me down and I wanna taste you. I wanna get you off, please." He sounded so pretty begging like that, who could say no? 

He stood to push his pants off, tugging off his shirt and tossing it to the other side of the bed. He preened slightly as Gavin's eyes raked over him with clear lust. 

Connor carefully climbs onto the bed, positioning himself right above Gavin's face. He can feel the heat of his breath against his dripping cunt and Gavin kisses his thigh instead, making his shutter. He kisses his way down to Connor's wet slit. He pauses to breathe the scent of him in, before reaching up to spread his lips and lick him from cunt to clit. 

Connor dips his head down to take him back into his mouth, but instead gives the head kitten licks, his tongue dipping into the slit, and Gavin's moan spurs him on. 

Gavin wraps his lips around Connor's hard clit, and sucks, letting the vibrations seep into his skin. Connor's own whine is amplified when he takes him fully into his mouth, barely holding himself up. 

Gavin's hand comes up, and two fingers easily slide in. Gavin licks into him, tongue dipping into his labia, toying at the sensitive folds of skin surrounding his clit. 

Connor bobs his head desperately, licking and sucking and every inch of Gavin's length. He lets out tiny moans, the friction against his tongue absolutely delicious. His hips bounce slightly, the pleasure too much and not enough at the same time and if he needed air he'd be breathless. 

Gavin pushes in a third finger and curls them, pushing against that sweet spot. Connor pushes down hard against his mouth, swallowing around Gavin with a small cry. 

Gavin sucks on his slit hard and Connor can't stop himself from coming. He fucks his throat until he can feel Gavin tensing but the man hasn't stopped. His fingers only press in harder and the tongue brings him close to the edge again. 

Connor doesn't pull away, he swallows down every last drop as his own body convulses with his third orgasm. The taste of Gavin in his mouth is addicting but the man needs to breathe and Connor needs to make sure he's ok. 

He climbs off just as carefully as he got on, scanning Gavin. Other than what he expected, elevated heart rate, flushed body, pupils dilated, and the likes, Gavin seems perfectly fine. 

Around Gavin's mouth is a little messy with Connor's slick, so he takes it upon himself to lick it all up before finally kissing him. 

Gavin gasps, but it turns into a happy little sound so Connor doesn't pull away. The kiss is oddly sweet and tender, but they can both taste themselves and they like it a little too much. 

Connor only pulls away to let Gavin breathe, fingers dancing over the human's heated skin. "You're amazing at that." He says with a small giggle. 

"What, eating you out or kissing?" Gavin asks, looking at him with too fond eyes. Maybe Connor does know why Gavin jumped in front of the bullet. Connor would do the same if given the chance. 

"Both, but we can't do the first again until you're better." He waves a finger at him like he's a naughty child, and it gets a genuine laugh out of Gavin. It's truly a beautiful sound and Connor almost wants to beg for more of it. 

"I'm glad we can both agree there will be more. You know… you looking after me might not be a terrible thing." Gavin smirks up at him. 

"Well, I was given the week off. I'm sure we can find some creative things to pass the time that won't hurt you." He already had a few ideas and was dying to try it out. 

"I've never been so happy to have been shot and stabbed in my life," Gavin said before pulling him back down into a kiss.

Connor wished he wasn't in pain, but he honestly couldn't agree more.

[flyingcookierambles]

wittwe muwues

jgriohagorhbiorghfvhgifvoghf ano really tho this is a gonna be a rambling weird gender shit post i just wanted to have a stupid name ghriohaguohguovhoge ok under the cut if you wanna read if not just move along bye lol

ok disclaimer on gender swap/genderbends, stuff like that

personally i am the person on the right of this post that doesn’t mind rule 63 of the internet its a good post that explains how some ppl may be ok with this trope and some are not

also more nuanced post explaining how genderswap/genderbends can be transphobic if not done well, etc.

anyways!

ive realized that in hindsight maybe i shouldve realized that i was not cis sooner bc i was always drawn to female/afab characters that crossdressed or hid their gender such as:

haruhi from ouran

mulan

haru from aoharu x kikanjuu that really edgy anime about some japanese ppl who have local bb gun tournaments in the woods, etc.

jackie faber, a girl who for various reasons disguises herself as a boy and sneaks onto a british navy ship

also altho it was minor and she wasn’t doing it in real life, moriko morioka from mmo junkie played her mmo with a male avatar

also not cross dressing or anything, but i was very interested by gender bends of characters and especially love the fiona and cake episodes of adventure time

alex dragalia lost (she doesn’t hide her gender or crossdress or anything, but she is very androgynous and i love her)

i guess that, much like how i never referred to myself with feminine terms or with she/her pronouns when thinking of myself, on some subconsciousness level,  related to/with or wanted to be like them in the way that they were able to physically pass as male or be at least gender ambiguous. in hindsight, i probably was experiencing some major gender envy or something.

anywyas uwuwuuwuwuwuwu i wish that shapeshifting or devil fruit powers like iva’s (instant magical hrt via control of hormones) were real so i (and all other trans/gnc ppl can just instantly get the types of bodies that we want and can just change them any time or day and stuff like uuu that’d be so cool

maybe thats also why sci-fi things like altered carbon and ghost in the shell also appeal to me. like. if you have enough money, just. make your own android body and put your brain in it. discard your former useless flesh prison.

anyways ill probs make some meme with more recent characters that are like. gender envy. to me lol. more recently its just. like. androgynous boys. lol. like. mascula, summer norwin, vice, and delphi from dragalia lost. albedo from genshin. just. short king representation. love to see it lol.

(ironically, despite being a short person irl and i guess wanting to look like a short androgynous monarch of some kind, my ffxiv avatar is just. tall. tall man. tall lizard au ra manly man. fjrhiaoghreogiheriogheiohfg lol i couldve picked an average or slightly smaller than average cat man avatar but no. i want to be tall. playing ffxiv and having basically all the other scions look up to me in cutscenes bc they’re all not male au ra and im literally the physically tallest person in the room (other than urianger ig lol) gives me some small joy in my heart daily lololol)