#esp when i feel like i asked for them & my brain will take any excuse to try & convince me that someones just being nice & doesnt mean it

[bookshelfdreams]

Hi, saw your tags on a stede post: do you have advice on how to take good care of the need to be helpful-people around you? there's someone i like and enjoy spending time with but they seem uncomfortable when there's nothing useful for them to do and they're surprised and a bit insecure when i show gratitude and try to reciprocate their kindness. i'm more of a low maintenance wallflowery person myself so asking for or getting help isn't always easy to handle gracefully.

Thank you!

i have no idea but if you figure it out let me know thanks

Hi! This is something you should talk about with this person (yes, I know. It's hard). I don't know what need they fulfill by being helpful or how exactly you feel your attempts at reciprocating aren't appreciated. I don't know enough about the situation or either of you to give any advice that might be helpful.

But! I can give you a bit of my perspective on these feelings and how I deal with them. Because my self-worth is basically wielded to being useful to other people and that's not a good way to live, for many reasons.

First of all, when I get really down into a self-loathing spiral (because that's really all it is, feeling like I have to make up for my existence), I imagine someone other than myself saying those things to me. Ideally someone I dislike. Then I get offended. And then I look at my own brain like

What helps me with accepting help and nice things, is thinking about how giving those things to people makes me feel. Which is very good. And thinking about how it would make me feel if someone I cared about would always refuse favours, get uncomfortable at being given gifts, brush off my compliments. That would feel bad, wouldn't it? Like maybe they don't like me back at all.

I try to look at myself from outside; like, what if I were someone I know? I am not special; I'm just like everyone else. If helping others, giving gifts, etc makes me feel good, the same is true for others. If I'm honest when I compliment someone, others are honest when they compliment me. If it makes me feel all giddy inside when I make someone smile, the same is true for people who make me smile. And so on.

We're all just guys (gn), you know? No one has something uniquely horrible at their core. Everyone is just a person who deserves help and kindness and nice things. I know it can be hard to accept that. And I can't really give you any tips for helping that person you care about accept that. But eventually, we all have to ask for help and then we'll get help and we'll see that people are there for us, and we deserved it all along.

[palms-upturned]

Hey everyone, sorry for the prolonged inactivity. My health kind of collapsed for a while there and I’ve been dealing with housing problems due to unemployment. I don’t feel like that’s a good reason to let this blog go unattended considering the far worse conditions that people in Gaza are suffering while they continue to fundraise for not only themselves but others as well, so I won’t try to excuse myself. I will say for clarification that asks were closed here and on VGF and will remain closed for a while longer because tumblr has been eating them, so DMs are safer for people to contact me and not get lost or buried. I’ve been trying to keep up with a spreadsheet of all the campaigns that have reached out to me, but I still have catching up to do, especially since tumblr, GFM, and PayPal all continue to target Gaza fundraisers. I want to get both blogs up and running again soon and to try and find a way to contribute more to fundraisers, like art in exchange for donations, but I may still be slower going than I’d like to be. I’m going to try to start working my way through DMs to start with.

Catching up with VGF will take longer and I’m reconsidering a lot of things abt how I run it because I’m afraid of doing more harm than good with how ppl seemed to take me as a primary verification source rather than the sources I documented, and with some mistakes of my own where I took it at face value that a blog promoting, iirc, the Ayyad family campaign was run by that family, only to find out that the Ayyads did not know who was running the blog, which then pivoted to promoting a different, unverified fundraiser, which people claimed was verified based on my post that included that URL. I also don’t think it will be possible to regularly update the fundraiser amounts in the master posts anymore because of how many campaigns have reached out, so I’m rethinking that as well. Once I’m caught up on the campaigns that have reached out, I want to add more mods to the blog to help me, esp in case my health declines again. But doing that will mean losing access to DMs, so I’m apprehensive about relying only on asks again when so many asks were getting eaten and I was having problems with tumblr only displaying a certain number of them. If anyone knows a fix for the ask box, please let me know!

If you’re looking for a campaign to donate to today, please consider Mohammed Ayesh’s campaign. He has spent months helping to verify fundraisers on the ground in Gaza and run @/gaza-evacuation-funds while he’s only halfway to his own fundraising goal after all this time.

My health seems to be improving somewhat right now and my brother and I have sort of accepted that we’ll lose our housing once this lease is up, but we do have family to fall back on, so it’ll be ok. What that means is I’m gonna let go of the idea of finding a job for a while and focus on this + sorting out my health issues. I was involved with some group research projects while I was away to try and stay involved with something helpful, but they’ve kind of just… died out and I don’t know if any of that work will be made use of. If not, I’ll try to share whatever useful info and strategic research strategies I’ve learned here on this blog.

If anyone needs to contact me quickly, you can reach out for my discord, or other messaging apps if we’re long time friends/mutuals. How much screen time I can tolerate at a time depends on my migraines, brain fog, fatigue, etc so I apologize if even then it takes me a while to get back to you. Especially feel free to hmu if strategic corporate research on a particular arms company sounds like something that could be useful to you.

[glitch-in-the-system]

dividers from here

Introduction

Main

Helloo!! I'm Pichu/Peaches, Freakazoid extraordinaire.

I've been in this fandom for... over a decade at this point-- wasn't around for when the show proper aired, but got into it from some internet video or another, and had been lurking for awhile before I finally made my contributions to the fandom (and hope to make more).

Huge writer (esp of Freakazoid in general), and hope to one day dip my foot into art as well. I'm as small as you might think from my name association, and while I tend to act more impulsively than I think I like to imagine it leads to some neat revelations from me than if I waited a long time.

No strict DNI, I usually decide who I don't want to interact with via blocking. Bigots get blocked on sight. Would also rather not interact with anyone making pedophillic or incestual content with Freakazoid-- which I think is unlikely but, y'know, covering my bases.

Projects

My current planned Freakazoid projects are as follows:

Glitch in the System - Arc 1, 2, and 3.

My initial project for the fandom, that I've since taken to rebooting due to several elements that I thought I could rewrite better. Planned to have three eventual stories.

Spark!

A more 'traditional' reboot in that it's a lot more typical-- hero fights a rogues gallery and what not, with way more action scenes within it. While more 'simple', I'm not intending it to be entirely flat either.

@F!

My current much bigger project-- taking place in Electri City, and focusing on how this city affects our protagonist... and those he's wronged in order to progress his streaming career.

Freakaspective

A project on this very blog! I'm currently going through the freakazoid series to make comments on it-- from jokes, to headcanons, to what could be pulled for a reboot. In general it's just an excuse to have a re-look at a show I love very dearly.

I'll likely share tidbits of all three of these projects at one point or another-- and also write short stories/drabbles/portions of scenes from all three that I'll post in their own short story collections-- both to get a vibe of how i should write it............ and also so i'm writing something so i don't get brain mold lol.

Tags

My tags are as follows:

#reblog

#walky talky - my personal talk tag.

#freakanswer - answering asks

#Freaka art - art i reblog

#freakafic - writing i rb

#freakaboot - for stuff relating to freakazoid reboots/reboot concepts

#crossover - anything that has any crossover elements to it

#freakameta - behind the scenes stuff and analysis's

#freakaspective - for my freakaspectives. what episode and season it is will also be tagged.

#f!gits - tag for my freakazoid fic series, glitch in the system.

#spark! - tag for my freakazoid fic, Spark!

#@F! - tag for my freakazoid fic, @F!

#freakaquestion - questions about the show Freakazoid! Meant to make you think on both the show itself and any fic/freakaboot potential stuff.

Sometimes I will reblog things that I feel are related to my projects or characters in general and also tag them as such

Other tags will come as needed.

I hope you enjoy the blog!!! woooOOooOoSOSHSHSHHS

[sickstarlight]

different causes of sickness

a friend had asked me for some advice on how I write differences between different types of sickness or reasons someone could get sick! so I typed up a reference of details I try to keep in mind in my writing. not by any means meant to be comprehensive but these are some of the more common things I see used or use myself!

eta: if you found this interesting or useful consider tipping me on kofi (/jallyns) or getting a $5 commission so I can fix my computer

drinking related:

drank too much: everyone’s threshold for this is going to be different obvs both in terms of how much alcohol they need and how wasted they’re able/willing to be before getting sick. also ime you have to be QUITE drunk for being drunk alone to make you sick, to the point where it may be dangerous, so personally I like this combined with something else - motion, something not sitting right in their stomach, etc - but it can be good otherwise too. probably the first thing the character will notice or be aware of if they have any warning is that being drunk stops feeling good at this point. they might feel flushed and/or clammy and will probably feel dizzy, their mouth might feel really dry depending on what they’ve been drinking. this is probably also the point where they recognize they have limited control of their body, feet might feel too heavy to move or head might be spinning, may feel very clumsy and suddenly become AWARE of it.

they might FEEL motion sick even if they’re not moving too because their motion sense is fucked at this point. might feel heavy but this is likely to be a whole body heaviness NOT just their stomach (though they might be very aware of it); might or might not be able to place the feeling of nausea. maybe burping but it depends on what they’ve been drinking (carbonated or not, mixed with soda, etc) and what else they ate! they MIGHT feel okay after throwing up but their friend probably shouldn’t let them drink anymore even if they do.

also this might come with very little warning, they may go from feeling fine and giggling with their friends to suddenly feeling Wrong to hurling all over the floor in a matter of minutes or even a few seconds. if they have friends with them who have been with them drunk regularly, depending on who’s more sober their friends might notice they look unsteady and/or queasy before they realize they don’t feel well.

other good things here: alcohol that tastes so strong it’s all they can taste when they throw it back up, feeling dizzy but not placing it as nauseous right away, feeling like their head is too heavy to lift. reeling on their feet when a drink hits them too hard and feeling the whole room spin.

drank too quickly - more likely to come on SUPER suddenly, but they’ll probably recognize it right away (unless they’ve already been drinking) because the alcohol hasn’t had time to get to their brain yet. so with gradually drinking more than they should they will get drunk first and THEN get sick, but if they drink too much too fast right off the bat they’ll start to feel some effects probably but they’ll also know pretty quick that their drinks aren’t gonna stay down.

hung over - throwing up from a hangover is a combination of a buildup of alcohol byproducts in the stomach, and the stomach lining being irritated + producing more acid. a headache is also a significant part of the misery of a hangover but (unlike a migraine, where the pain directly leads to vomiting) isn’t necessarily related to any queasiness, so the headache might get worse with sound, light, or movement, but their stomach likely won’t. they might feel a little like they have heartburn (or actually GET some acid reflux) from acid buildup, and their stomach might be sore or feel too warm as well as being upset. 

the only real cure for a hangover is slow sips of clear fluids and bland foods to help settle the stomach and reduce the acid, but lots of people swear by other things - certain kinds of foods, drinking more alcohol, etc, so that’s something you can have fun with! depending on how much alcohol is still in their bloodstream, they might also still feel a little drunk/tipsy and have some issues with their balance, thinking clearly, etc, which could make the nausea worse; also some people might always get sick from hangovers but others might not so consider how your character deals with that! They also might wake up sick, or feel sick right away, or might not feel sick at all until trying to get some fluids or take meds for their headache (especially since ibuprofen/aspirin also irritate the stomach lining).

food related:

ate too much -  character will likely feel bloated and tight, food might feel heavy in their stomach. depending on what they’re stuffed with there might be burping esp if there’s a lot of gas in their stomach, or a lot of gagging and unproductive dry heaving if it’s very heavy/solid. might need to drink something to get anything up, or have help from someone, or might just take a while to finally puke as their overstuffed stomach struggles to break down their meal enough that their stretched out muscles can get anything moving. any firm pressure on the stomach is gonna feel worse and likely to make them gag even if they’re not ready to throw up yet. maybe weak strained tummy noises as they try to digest. (side note if a lot of their stomach contents are liquid like soup, drinks, etc they’ll throw that up a lot faster; also a good excuse to discuss sloshing/jostling/swirling around in their tummy)

ate too quickly - ties in well to eating too much since it’s easy eating in a hurry to not realize you’re full until it’s already a little late - eating or drinking anything too fast can also make some people’s stomachs hurt or get upset in general, and is an easy way to end up swallowing a lot of air which can obviously lead to feeling much more full and tight with lots of burping that could easily bring up more!

ate something bad - this could be rotten, poorly prepared, or just something that upsets their stomach but what it is might change the feeling of it so there’s definitely variety here. probably also feels heavy but more localized, like they can feel the specific food they ate and where it’s settled in their stomach. might also be painful and cause cramping and tenderness. imo nausea from this is more likely to come in waves and recede but might also be more readily recognizable as nausea. some things I like in this scenario - character thinking about what they ate and feeling worse, imagining they can feel individual parts of their food in their stomach, burping and tasting what they ate (possibly noticing the taste having gone sour / etc in their stomach). good place to describe stuff like how greasy smt was/feeling the grease coating their stomach, or otherwise talk about the specific way the food feels in their tummy and how much it makes them want to puke. unlike with eating too much, they’re likely not to feel better until ALL of the offending food is out of their stomach (while with overeating, they may throw up a few times and then start to feel better once there’s less pressure on their stomach).

general notes - if something the character ate is what’s making them feel sick, a lot of focus on hyperawareness of how much food is in their stomach/how heavy it feels are gonna be big sensory things (as well as maybe taste, pressure/tightness, stomach contents moving around)

illness

appendicitis - if you’re looking for something more serious than food poisoning or a stomach bug, this is sure to end up with a character in the hospital as they’ll need surgery! the big distinguishing thing is pain, which will be sharp and located on the lower right side of the abdomen (or may start near the navel and move down). any kind of exertion or sudden muscle movement can make the pain worse. if the character or one of their caretakers is knowledgeable and suspects appendicitis, they might do the rebound test, which causes pain to get drastically worse AFTER placing pressure on the area and releasing it. sickness usually begins after the pain starts and may get worse when something exacerbates the pain as well.

in addition to nausea and vomiting, other symptoms can include fever, bloating, and bowel issues (either diarrhea or constipation), which will usually get worse over the course of the infection. if the character is treated soon enough (within 2-3 days) they’ll usually feel better after surgery and recover relatively quickly, but if they’re not seen by a doctor and the appendix ruptures they’ll likely need more extensive treatment including antibiotics and a longer hospital stay to make sure they won’t develop sepsis. (in some cases, symptoms could seem to suddenly go away when the appendix ruptures because it releases pressure, but worse symptoms would rapidly develop!)

rarely, there’s also such thing as chronic appendicitis, where milder symptoms may appear and recede over the course of weeks or months before developing into acute appendicitis and prompting surgery.

coughs, colds, strep, etc - can all cause vomiting as secondary symptoms thanks to postnasal drip, throat irritation, or forceful coughing. serious enough throat irritation or buildup of mucus can make a character gag, or feel the need to, and so can coughing up phlegm from their chest. if they’re sniffly and have their sinuses draining down the back of their throat, they may end up swallowing a lot of mucus too which can make them feel nauseous as their stomach gets full of sticky snot. I think these work best as emeto scenarios for characters with weak gag reflexes!

food poisoning - separate from eating something bad because food poisoning from a virus or bacteria is a longer lasting illness with a later onset; the character may first get sick within a few hours of eating the contaminated food, or it may incubate and make them sick within a day or two. like stomach flu (also frequently foodborne) many types can cause both vomiting and diarrhea, but symptoms vary depending on specific cause. characters also might puke early on and then develop more symptoms and become sicker later as bacteria multiply and produce toxins, and may take several days to recover from the later onset where they could have persistent nausea, or might feel okay and even regain their appetite if they don’t try to eat  but be unable to keep much or any food down. most types of food poisoning also cause pain, swelling, bloating, and cramping, usually in the lower part of the stomach and upper intestines, so those are other symptoms your character might have to deal with in addition to puking!

stomach flu - character may be feverish or achy as well as nauseous while their body fights the infection, which is an additional great source of hurt/comfort fuel! can cause both vomiting and diarrhea, so even food they manage to keep down might still sting them later. because it directly causes irritation and inflammation in the stomach and lower GI tract, character might throw up frequently or after every meal, or might be able to handle clear fluids but no solids, or some bland foods but nothing with significant sugar, spices, or fat. they also might only be able to drink or eat in very small amounts without bringing it back up. their stomach may hurt and feel like it’s cramping even if they haven’t tried to eat, and they may get only very brief relief of nausea after each time they’re sick because it reduces the immediate pressure on the stomach but not the inflammation; they might feel nauseous constantly or end up dry heaving even when there’s nothing in their stomach, and might need to keep a basin of some kind nearby for a couple of days since they can’t be sure if they’re done. dehydration is a common complication and can cause headaches, weakness, and dizziness in addition to other symptoms! the most common stomach virus, norovirus, is also EXTREMELY contagious, and virus particles can aerosolize and scatter widely during vomiting, so the caretaker may not be safe either.

injury, other medical

anaesthesia - people react to this in all kinds of ways but getting sick is really common so it can be combined with just about any reaction. character might be disoriented or dizzy and have trouble with balance, walking, other coordinated movement. some might be really confused and have trouble communicating their ideas clearly or say things that might not make any sense to other characters. from the anaesthetized character’s perspective though they’re  probably making total sense so it can also be fun to include their muddled thought process and what they’re feeling or thinking that they express in weird ways! other characters might feel pretty clearheaded and be able to communicate clearly though. they might feel “light” or like they're floating, or very  detached from their body; this may cause more dizziness and vertigo. they may also be cold they might feel nauseous right away and persistently from the anaesthetic irritating their stomach, or might only get sick from moving that makes the “floating” feeling worse. general anaesthetic is usually used for surgery so if they aren’t immediately nauseous the character can also wake up really hungry from fasting before, so eating too much or too quickly might also make them realize they’re nauseous and end up with them puking.

concussion - there are a lot of reasons someone might get sick from a concussion, but the most common (non threatening) are vertigo / vestibular disturbance and headaches! the character might  get nauseous or throw up when they turn too quickly or stand up too fast if their balance center is disrupted, or might have head pain similar to a migraine that makes them sick and can have similar sensitivities. mild concussions without other complications can still last up to a week after the injury, but the character should get sick less and less often as time goes on, so the most intense phase for sickness caused by a concussion is shortly after it happens! Frequently repeated or prolonged bouts of vomiting are often signs of more serious injury though, so if you’re keeping it mild they should probably be brief and a little spaced out even early on, though a character might have intermittent nausea between them. other symptoms of concussion are important too here - big ones are short term amnesia, loss of coordination, difficulty concentrating, and confusion. they might also hear ringing in their ears or sometimes have visual disturbances like in migraines! 

migraine - the pain from migraines can directly cause vomiting, especially when it’s at its peak, but it might also be caused by aura effects on balance and vision! (some people get tunnel vision or “kaleidoscope” vision with migraines, some just get dizzy, some people even hallucinate strong smells or tastes which could also lead to nausea!) for some people, the headache gets better after throwing up, but not everyone; they also might or might not feel the buildup of nausea or persistent nausea throughout their migraine, or alternately might retch or throw up almost IMMEDIATELY when any trigger makes their pain worse (common triggers are bright or flashing light, loud or high pitched sounds, strong smells, and sudden movement, but people have lots of different triggers so they can be a lot of things!) many people can’t chase off a migraine until after they’ve slept so you might also include them trying to get comfortable only to have their head start hurting worse or their stomach get upset and make them scramble to get over the trash bin.

motion sickness - anyone can get motion sick but some people are more prone to it than others! so you might have characters who always get motion sick in any moving vehicle, or who are okay in cars but can’t travel on water, or who only get sick with intense movement like on roller coasters - or characters who aren’t prone to motion sickness in general, but discover they get it when fatigued, anxious, etc. different characters might also experience it differently - for some there may be a cycle of gradual buildup of nausea until it becomes unbearable and they throw up, while for others it might come on suddenly, or they might have low level nausea throughout a trip but only puke when there’s a more sudden or violent movement. some people also only get motion sick after a period of time, and might be fine on short trips but get sick if they’re traveling longer.

other notes: many people who get carsick don’t get sick if they’re driving! being able to get fresh air also helps many people, as well as focusing on the horizon if possible. some people prone to motion sickness will also experience the opposite when sitting still but watching movement onscreen like in a video game. likewise, reading or looking at a still object for long while moving can trigger motion sickness, even in people who are less prone to it otherwise.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

boyfriend!bakugou headcannons

before dating

- will start noticing you only after you either,,

A) do something intentionally heroic

B) do something incredibly stubborn/borderline reckless to save someone

-there is no room in his big boy ego brain for anyone who doesn’t possess hero qualities,, soz thats just the way it is

-thats not to say he would only date someone from the hero course tho,, he would 100% take interest in someone from any course

-as long as they’re as dedicated to helping others and giving their 100% to everything they do,, he’d be happy

-would watch you for a long time but would be incredibly obvious about it. he’d try and hide it and be sneaky, but everyone knows. even you.

-when he finally asks you out, there was not a single plan involved. he just saw you alone and decided to man up about it on a whim

-that being said- after he does ask you out, he immeadiately panics about what to do on your first date. que frantic google searching-

top searches from that night include

how do cool guys dress

how to stop blushing

first date ideas that arent romantic

why am i sweating so much

-first date is an utter disaster by traditional standards

-he takes you somewhere with an athletic aspect- like minigolf or laser tag. he pays for you but immeadiately follows it up with “you better actually play and don’t just make me waste my money! its not gonna be fun kicking your ass unless you try, got it?”

-you have fun and can’t stop smiling- but not bc lil katsuki is charming you.

-no, you’re smiling bc he’s embarrassing himself at every turn trying to impress you. at first it’s a little off-putting, but then you realize just how much he cares and it’s kinda cute

-cute in the a dog-chasing-it’s-tail-until-it-gets-dizzy-and-falls-over kinda cute; but adorable nonetheless

-bakugou walks away from the date thinking he crushed it. just absolutely blew it out of the water,, there’s no doubt in his mind even though there 100% should be

early relationship

-incredibly touchy,, but not in like traditional or “cute” ways

-prior to you, bakugou’s only significant feeling was pure rage,, so needless to say he doesn’t know how to handle his sudden urge to touch you all the time

-he’s super nervous about it and doesn’t know if it’s suddenly okay hug and touch you as much as he wants to,, so he resorts to less traditional means of skinship

-so he’ll flick your forehead when you smile just right at him. he’ll pinch your cheeks when you talk too much. he’ll drop his hand flat and heavy over yours while you’re writing,, just so the pencil skitters across the page and you yell at him.

-he’ll push you over. not like a hard shove or anything,, but if he sees you sitting on the ground or squatting, he’ll just sort of push you over??? especially if you’re standing up from a chair,,

-ofc he catches you before you can fall or anything, but really he just uses “saving” you as an excuse to touch you

-he’ll push at you, catch you, and then smirk at you with “god, you’re so clumsy. i won’t always be around to save your sorry ass, you know.”

-it’s annoying so you just push him away and glare, but unfortunately for you, that’s what he wanted the whole time bc he’s a little shit

-that being said,, he’s still suprisingly sweet in even weirder ways

-bakugou’ll make you food. but he’ll never be around when you eat it,, you’ve tried before to eat the meals he cooks for you right after he cooks them, but he gets too embarrassed and finds an excuse to leave right when you’re about to eat the first bite

-he’ll tease you. a lot. about everything. but nobody else can tease you,, if somebody’s embarrassing you, bakugou will either threaten them until they stop talking or make a scene until nobody is paying attention to you anymore

-he’ll leave you little notes. most of them just have little doodles on them with reminders about homework or training, but they’re cute nonetheless

-when he takes you out on dates his hands always crackle when he first sees you. you’ve come to learn that the more dressed up you are, the more his palms will crackle

-normally you have to be the one to initiate any sort of romantic contact,, pls just kiss him already he’s almost always thinking about it but cant find the courage to do so

-when he does kiss or hug you on his own accord,, don’t say anything. he’ll pull away super quick and get all red!!!

established relationship

- suuuper clingy

-, not in the sense that he’s constantly phyiscally all over you,, he just won’t go anywhere with the class if you’re staying back, or will just follow you around the whole day if he’s got nothing else to do

-like,, if the bakusquad is looking for him they’re honestly just better off looking for you since he’s never far behind

-strangely enough, bakugou’s pretty quiet?? if he’s comfortable around you, he’ll stop being so prideful and picking so many arguments.

-his whole badass front at school wears him out,, so if katsuki comes to hang out with you after a long school day he’ll probably want to sit and just listen to you talk

-is a whole ass cat when it comes to physical affection. he normally acts indifferent entirely, but when he wants attention he wants attention

-might as well just drop everything you’re doing since he’s gonna throw you on the bed and just lay directly on top of you until you stop fighting him

-pet his hair super softly and tell him he’s strong and that you’re proud of him pls,, katsuki will cry

-formal dates happen less often now, but you see him more,,, in fact, you’re almost never without him. when he’s not doing school or studying or training katsuki is always where you are

-he’s pretty possessive and jealous- not just of like other guys, but literally anything that’s getting your attention. see examples 1 & 2

1.) ooo new book that has you super enthralled??? soz, it’s not just your book anymore. katsuki sits you on his lap and tells you that the only way he’s gonna let you continue to “waste your time on something so stupid” is if you read it out loud to him

2.) omg you got a new puppy that you’re just enamoured with?? tough, it’s bakugou’s puppy now too,, and he never lets it leave his side so the only way you’re gonna get to cuddle with the puppy is if you cuddle with bakugou too

-he’s super proud of you so he’ll introduce you as his s/o to everyone he meets,,, and if the person he’s talking to also has an s/o??? good lord katsuki would never shut tf up about how much better and stronger and cooler you two were than the other couple

-is not embarrassed about pda. at all. if everyone already knows you’re together than there’s nothing to hide,, he thinks that since he put in all the work to get you to love him than he should be able to reap the rewards,, anywhere. at anytime.

-that being said, he does find showing affection in front of others to be v v embarassing!!! so to combat that he turns it up to 11 and flirts and flusters you so bad so that all the 1A guys just think he’s super cool and manly with u instead of soft

-that being said, the second you guys are alone it’s like a switch has been flipped and you could fluster him only by batting your eyes just right

-insists you ‘cook’ with him. katsuki doesn’t let you do much but like cut up vegetables or stir, but he likes to listen to you talk while he does everything else

-generally pretty touch starved but only really indulges if you make the first move. like, he won’t ever tell you to come sit with him on the couch, but if you sit down?? then immeadiately he’s pulling you into his side and doesn’t let you up until he’s ready to get up as well

-still pokes and flicks and shoves you. also now feels comfortable enough to prank you. he thinks you’re adorable when you get mad enough to yell at him so prepare to be mad a lot.

-tells you he loves you damn near constantly. he wont say it first tho bc ~tsundere~ but after you admitted it first, he’ll say it. and once you know??? then he’s gonna make sure it’s known,,, blasty baby doesnt do anything half-assed esp not something as important as showing his love

-he likes to pick out your clothes for you bc otherwise you’ll walk about looking too cute and its a problem bc he never figured out how to get his hands to stop crackling

-will call you dumbass, idiot, moron, halfwit, klutz, etc in public but in private it’s usually princess or little brat or very rarely baby

[toshis-switch]

judge my sins | oikawa tooru x reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: very suggestive but nothing explicit (implied femdom/sub!oikawa), fem!reader, royalty!au (prince oikawa and advisor y/n), infidelity, the reader is mean to his wife after his wife draws a knife on him lmaooo, cursing

i drew inspiration from his wife from m-word in @noya-sleftankle's poker face so if u want to imagine it as her be my guest

reblogs/replies are much appreciated esp with some feedback/comments!! <3 please take care of yourselves, take your meds, drink some water, have a snack or go to sleep :)

you know, that at the end of the night, that it’s you he’ll be thinking about, and you take that, using it to your advantage.

you are dressed to the nines, the long ball gown you adorn reaching the floor, yet the tasteful slit exposes more skin than usual. people try to talk you up, but you have, really, one true reason for being at the ball tonight. prince oikawa would stay in the palm of your hand whether he wanted to be there or not.

alas, he enters the ballroom with his betrothed, a girl from a neighboring kingdom, and wouldn’t know the difference between her left and right foot even if you told her. too arrogant for her own good despite having nothing to offer the world, she thinks that all of the eyes will be trained on her, when in reality, no one spares more than a millisecond in glancing in her direction, her fiancee included.

what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, though. and it’s not like she knows much at all.

you are the prince’s royal advisor, his right hand, the brains behind the operation.

the person whose name he moans at night. that’s you, no one else.

he makes his rounds with the ditzy girl glued to his arm, and when he reaches you, you sense the surprise at your gown and how you look exactly like the seductress he dreams of. you know him enough to notice how his gaze shifts for a millisecond before plastering on a fake smile.

“advisor y/l/n.”

you curtsy to both of them, but your body is mainly angled towards him, the action allowing him to sneak a peek under your low cut gown. you know he glances at it; after all, you are his, as he is yours.

“good evening, your highnesses. lovely to see you as well.” you smooth out your dress. “i hope you enjoy yourselves at the ball.”

“yes, this is wonderful,” he murmurs. “i hope to catch you for a waltz.”

“whatever pleases you, sir, i am obliged to follow.”

it’s ironic, the titles you use for him in public, knowing that the roles absolutely reverse behind closed doors. you are too alluring for him not to submit to. it’s a tragedy that you were not born into royalty, but at this point, he thanks the heavens that he still gets to feel your skin against his.

he and the princess walk away from you, though he spares you a glance over his shoulder as you take a sip from your flute of champagne.

the music starts, and it’s a slightly uptempo, but still moderately timed waltz. one of the princes from a neighboring kingdom (though, in some fashion, a rival one as well) takes you for a spin around the ballroom, the attention of the crowd in between the two of you and the crowned prince himself.

“prince sugawara, you had never told me that you were such a good dancer. i would have danced with you much sooner had i known.” you smirked at him.

“all things come in their time,” he teases back. “besides, most of the kingdom is watching the both of us. tonight is the biggest ball of the year, after all.”

“yes,” you affirm. “perhaps you’re not so bad after all, your highness.” you smile at him. you continue to dance for two more songs, before tooru decides that, yes, he had enough of seeing you with him.

“may i have a dance?” tooru murmurs. he ignores his betrothed's glare at the both of you, obviously wanting his attention. “prince sugawara.”

“prince oikawa.” sugawara nods. “wonderful ball we have here this evening.”

“yes, advisor y/l/n planned most of it, it ought to be good.” tooru nods at sugawara. “but i’m confident that you know that.”

“yes,” sugawara smirks. “wonderful job, advisor.”

“they are a fine asset to our kingdom.” tooru affirms. “let us go, advisor?”

“yes, your highness.” you go to take his arm, but sugawara, never one to miss a chance to mess with the other prince, pulls you towards him, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“i suspect some thanks is in order for that. alas, i simply wanted to see how our little prince fairs when i spend time with what is his.”

you pull him towards you, whispering in his ear that he is just as much yours as you are his, and that tooru knows that as well.

you curtsy towards sugawara, bidding him a good evening, before making your way back towards tooru, who has a scowl on his face.

“i don’t like to be kept waiting,” he says, taking you for a spin around the ballroom as the same waltz begins again.

“i know how impatient you are, my prince, but you need to wipe that scowl off of your face.” you squeeze his hand, hoping that your touch will make him ease up. it does, though just by a tad.

“are we still meeting tonight?”

“if you would like, my prince. my chambers are always open to you, after all.”

“about three quarters of the hour after the ball ends, i will be there.” he guides you for a spin, then moving you into a dip.

“careful there, your highness,” you smirk at him as he pulls you back upright. “you wouldn’t want anyone seeing more of me than you have, would you now, darling?”

“simply giving them a look at what they can’t have, love. fret not, for i am as much yours as you are mine, yes?”

“of course, your highness.”

never one to break a promise, tooru meets you at your quarters, and as your hand wraps around his neck while he fucks you, the red marks that will be left on his otherwise untainted skin will remind him that it is you he loves.

the next morning, after he slips away to retreat back to his betrothed, you kneel on the side of your bed to pray for forgiveness, and that whatever deity listens to your pleas knows not to judge you for your sins but for the contents of your heart.

what you also know, though, is that this won’t be the last time you’ll be praying for forgiveness. after all, it hasn’t stopped you from taking him again and again, has it?

as tooru’s wedding to the princess draws closer, though, you see him less and less. it doesn’t stop altogether, not until the day he is married. and after watching the prince get married to the princess, you let him pull you aside at the ball that follows.

“i’m afraid i cannot continue our situation, advisor.”

though this day was inevitable, you were still a bit taken aback and hurt. you shake it off, and smile at him.

“of course, sir. if you excuse me, i’d like to adjourn myself from the ball. i have some business with the neighboring kingdom.”

he raises an eyebrow at you. “what is it?”

“just some trade agreements to get in order with the prince. nothing out of the ordinary, i should be back by dawn tomorrow.”

oikawa clears his throat. “will you be seeing prince sugawara?”

“i may run into him, yes.” you fight to hide back a smirk. “we have some things to catch up on.” you curtsy to him. “if you excuse me, your bride is looking quite helpless over there. you must, uh, deal with that, i assume?”

he sighs as she struggles to walk in her big dress (one that she had, no doubt, chosen for herself) and runs to her aid with a plastic smile on his face. you duck out, sighing, but you also know he’ll come back. and you were never one to be wrong.

you could recognize his quick raps upon your wooden door any day, but you are alarmed, knowing that the guards must know that he is at your door. you open it for him, not having slept due to the fact that you had just gotten out of your bath.

he steps through the door without invitation. “good evening.”

you raise a brow at him. “very rude of you to intrude, sire. what is it?”

he turns to face you. “you know what i want.”

“tell me.” you don’t miss a beat, never one to let yourself be taken by surprise or seen vulnerable.

he takes a step closer to you. “you already know. i don’t want it to seem that i think less of you and have to say what is in between the lines.”

you smirk, looking at him in disdain. “spell it out for me, tooru. tell me how i am the only one that you want, that i’m the only one that can satisfy you, and that you belong to me.”

“no.”

“fine.” you motion towards the door with your eyes and a quirk of your head. “get out.”

“i am your king-”

“and what am i? who am i?”

the air is silent, poised with words unsaid and memories of the unholy things.

“you…” he takes another step closer to you. he caresses your cheek as you feel your back press against the cold stone wall of your palace chambers, but you both know who remains in control.

you’d never thought a king would kneel in front of you, especially in your own chambers, but he is on his knees, his head bowed like you were a deity sent to be in his presence, like he was unworthy to serve you, let alone be in your presence.

“you are the person who owns me, body, heart, mind and soul.” he murmurs to you. “and i am but your humble servant.”

“good. up, tooru.”

god, he was addicted to the way you said his name.

“be good for me.”

not once is he not touching your body that night, whether it be his hips, fingers, or tongue flush against your skin. it brings him to tears, the amount of pleasure he gets from just being around you. it astounds him, baffles him, even, how much power you have over him, but it’s where he feels the most alive.

when he is in your arms, fast asleep, you stare at the ceiling, asking the gods to judge your sins—you’re no longer afraid of what they could put against you.

you love him, after all.

his wife corners you the next day. you’re not surprised, considering her aggression and possessive nature. the kingdom may not see past her facade, but you see firsthand her monstrosity of a personality.

“what did you do with him?” she says, holding a dagger to your neck. you roll her eyes at her cheesy antics.

“you know what i did to him.” you smirk at her. “go ahead. put that knife in my neck. and never feel his touch ever again.”

her glare falters, her grip on her dagger loosening, and you take it out of her grasp.

“he will never need you like he needs me, never want you like he wants me, and never fuck you like he fucks me. you are disposable, and you will never be his.” you take her dagger with you as you walk to the other side of the castle to attend a meeting, but not before she attempts to tackle you. you merely take a step to the side as she faceplants on the floor. you look down at her desperation, wanting to make her plead.

“please…” she murmurs helplessly. “no more.”

you lean towards her on the ground.

a simple word of dissent falls from your lips as her tears begin to cascade.

“why?”

“because i can’t give away what’s mine, can i?”

[banhchao]

hi. this is kinda late but I really want to apologize for my behavior Abt a year ago. what I said to you was completely unacceptable and awful and I don't expect you to forgive me. I have changed a lot since then and tbh I'm disgusted by my behavior but that doesn't excuse how I was. I'm so incredibly sorry for how I acted. sincerely "that white girl" pls if you get this post something so I know you got this. again I'm very sorry for my actions

hello.

firstly I would like to say that u r correct for not expecting my forgiveness. I won’t be giving it and not for the reason you think. as much as I appreciate your remorse i don’t think the changes u have claimed to have made have actually been made. Esp since I’m pretty sure u were literally just recently being very rude to me, invalidated my feelings on asian issues and implied I was being unreasonable AGAIN?! lol are u actually sorry?!?!?!?!? At first I did but now I don’t think u are.

Ur actions were indeed unacceptable.The things u said to me and then on ur blog about Asian women were downright racist and misogynistic. Because u are young I stayed as kind I could to you and tried to give you advice despite the frustrations of having to see blatantly racist things be written about ppl like me because I genuinely cared and wanted you to improve and become a better person. I didn’t mind answering your genuine questions but the unprovoked racism and misogyny was just horrible.

I did not enjoy you framing me as the angry WOC and you playing the classic white girl victim when I didn’t agree with you. I did not enjoy having my feelings and opinions invalidated about issues that affect my life because you refused to listen. I did not enjoy you making up stories of asian and trans women doing terrible things to justify ur hate of them. I did not enjoy trying to educate someone that would not listen despite me being asked to answer questions. I did not enjoy being spoken over as if I didn’t have any lived experience with the issues you asked about. I am a human being too, not just someone u can poke at and bother without any regard to my feelings! But I tried anyways, cause I honestly wanted to help you. And unfortunately the whole experience left me distrusting white women even more than before as I had never experienced a white girl playing victim whilst being racist to me until then. I wasn’t hurt but it sure was very frustrating and I shouldn’t have put myself thru putting up with racism and misogyny just to educate you. I should have stopped answering tbh and I will own up to the fact that I should have protected my energy better. so that was my mistake.

I believe being young should grant u leniency as ur brain is still developing, u r still collecting experiences, perspectives, knowledge and opinions. However, being young does not absolve you of accountability, especially when Asian girls your age and younger have had to deal with racism & misogyny since they could understand words. It’s not fair that they aren’t too young to be victims of racism but you are young enough to be absolved of being racist. the harm of those words do not go away, unfortunately. the only way to take accountability is to really take action in being better... which I don’t think has been done thus far.

I do advise that the next time you want to take accountability for causing harm, to be specific of how you caused harm. Yes, your actions were awful but what actions? Are you only sorry for your actions (saying cruel things) or are you actually sorry for the terrible racism and misogyny? If you are, you have to acknowledge that you were point-blank, being racist and misogynistic. You have to explicitly say the words “racist” and “misogynistic” to actually feel the weight and heavy implications of them. Saying “actions” is not enough because it doesn’t pinpoint anything concrete. And maybe even explain why you were racist and misogynistic because to this day, I’ll never understand why you decided to say very nasty and rude things about Asian women unprovoked. Especially since you heavily fetishize Asian men (that’s a whole other can of worms I do not want to get into tho). Also saying “sorry” doesn’t mean anything without actions put into place to become better. And based on what I just experienced uh... I don’t think that’s happening.

I believe I gave you enough leniency by trying to help you out and teach you and yet you still remained... racist. So I don’t think I can really be anymore lenient without somehow hurting myself and others. I appreciate that you regret and feel guilt over being racist to me in the past but your racism... hasn’t changed. Your victim complex hasn’t changed. You still continue to spread cruelty to this day. The things I’ve seen you say as of recent have been even more horrible than what you have said in the past. How can I give forgiveness when you continue to hurt others? Just now u invalidated my feelings on asian issues AGAIN LMFAOOOO!!! And you were so goddamn rude doing it too!!! how can u say u have changed?

I stopped interacting with you once you became a Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Transphobia is not condoned on my blog and whereas I could put up with you being a bigot towards me, I would not give a platform to somebody that hates and aims to harm my Trans sisters. I’ll say this again and again; Trans women are women. Trans men are men. They are not dangerous. They do not harm anybody for identifying as a different gender identity. And if you refuse to respect them as they identify, I have zero respect and tolerance for you. Trans people deserve to be able to identify as they are and be their true selves freely and without harm and unfortunately, we live in a system that hurts and blocks their freedom and rights. They just want to be themselves and should be able to. Anyone that adds onto those obstacles and causes harm to them for solely wanting to exist their truths are terrible and quite frankly, the scum of the earth.

Radical feminism is the only wave of feminism that frames white women as a class as part of the most oppressed group on the sole basis of female biology. It frames cis women as the most oppressed group without any concrete regards to intersectionality and everyone else as more privileged, meaning yes, even cis white women are part of the most oppressed group. all you need is female biology to be the most objectively oppressed which is not at all intersectional. This completely disregards how cis white women have held power over men of colour for example. Systems of oppression and how they intersect in people’s lives to affect how they are treated in society is so much more nuanced than that. And yes, sex-based oppression is very much real and very much needs to be addressed!!! reproductive rights and raising awareness and tackling the policing and control of female bodies is super important!! but framing it as if trans issues somehow contradict it or takes away from it is false and harmful.

It truly is an attractive wave of feminism for white women with victim complexes that insist on female solidarity, when being “female” doesn’t absolve the racism, imperialism, slavery, colonialism, exclusion of rights etc. that white women have been complacent and complicit in, that have historically and continously oppressed both women AND men of colour globally. Radical feminism truly only benefits white women as it pushes Western, Eurocentric ideals of gender (ex. Enforcing the gender binary when many cultures have genders that are outside of it) and does not allow for POC to criticize white women (or else they will claim misogyny. I’ve unfortunately seen it happen too many times to count). It is racist and promotes white supremacist and colonialist ideals.

WOC have never and will never owe white women any kind of solidarity, especially since white women have purposely gatekeeped movements and actively participated in the oppression of WOC. white women have not politically, socially, economically and/or historically given WOC solidarity. In fact, they have stepped on the very backs of WOC to make it to the top and WOC are very much justified in not wanting to give solidarity to their oppressors. The oppressed do not owe their oppressors a single thing.

it is truly disappointing to see that you have chosen to spew toxic and harmful narratives about the Trans community than truly and fully acknowledge your white privilege and use it to uplift the voices of the oppressed. You cannot claim anti-racism and ignore your white privilege and you especially cannot dive into victimhood whenever someone calls you out for being racist.

Anti-racist White women allies acknowledge the power dynamics that white women have exercised to oppress both women and men of colour and actively work to dismantle them. White women allies do not weaponize their femininity and cry crocodile tears to frame themselves as the victim when POC are calling out the prominent racism of white women. White women allies do not police and invalidate the feelings of POC when it comes to the racism of white women. White women allies use their platforms to uplift the voices of POC and fight against white supremacy instead of trying to downplay their white privilege and how they benefit from it. I know and adore many white women allies and I recognize and appreciate their efforts. From what I’ve seen from looking thru ur blog, you are not one of them. If u r unwilling to fully acknowledge ur white privilege as a white girl, playing victim whenever the tiniest criticism about white women is said and even resort to racism when POC (especially WOC) don’t agree with you, i could not consider you as an anti-racist ally. I will not coddle a racist white girl with a constant need to be the victim and a desire of being the most oppressed.

my heart forever lies with marginalized communities. This means the trans community and people of colour - and ESPECIALLY the people at the intersection of both. You have spread harmful, false and cruel narratives about the Trans community, especially about Trans women. You have participated in generalizing trans women off of negative and harmful stereotypes, demonizing them further than they unfortunately already are. You have said and continue to say dehumanizing and vile statements about them, as if they don’t already go through enough trauma and hardships for merely existing in society. You add onto that trauma, that pain and laugh about it and mock them without a drop of remorse. And when you are called out, you play victim as if you weren’t being unreasonably and unprovokedly hateful in the first place. I’m ngl ur obsession with hating trans ppl really is disgusting behaviour. If anything, the people you should be apologizing to are not me but rather the trans community and anyone else online you have invalidated and have been horribly cruel to.

Now for the record, I do not condone harassment, death threats, r*pe threats etc. and I don’t think anyone deserves them. Anger is justified but that degree is extreme. That being said, I will never respect and will never forgive someone that is so proud of being cruel and inhumane to people that are already on the margins.

Bullies do not deserve my grace. How can you sit from such a privileged position of society and laugh as you spill poisonous words to those who already have suffered and struggled in ways you could not even begin to fathom for merely existing as themselves? Trans women, trans men, nonbinary people, cis men of colour (... depends on the situation), women of colour. You, as a cis white girl, have so much more privilege than these groups and instead of using your privilege for good, you actively push them down to pull urself up.

I understand u r young and u are still learning and growing. I was once ur age too and lacked experience and education. I still do! That being said, there is no justification or excuse for bigotry. I think u r old enough to know that being transphobic (or just bigoted in any way) is wrong. I think u r old enough to recognize the cruel things u say are harmful and even violent. I think u have gone past ignorance and now say inflammatory things out of pure choice as they somehow make u feel better. U r even so proud and think it’s so funny to be a hateful bigot! And I care most about the young trans kids and teens possibly your age that have no choice but face such bigotry than you being old enough to recognize your cruelty and refusing to change. I don’t think it’s fair to them that I coddle you when you should know better.

I have hope you will change in the future, break away from these transphobic and racist ideologies, recognize your white privilege, stop playing the victim and empathize with marginalized communities but for now, forgiveness cannot be given. I have no forgiveness or goodwill for racist transphobes and judging on ur interaction with me just now... I don’t think u r sorry lol. U r still racist and refuse to acknowledge it and transphobic and all to proud of it. Not to say I don’t believe u can become a better person; u r young and have so much space and time to educate yourself and empathize with others. I don’t want you to feel like a villain that can never change but what you are saying and doing now just isn’t right. And as frustrated as I am to see you being so cruel it also saddens me that you are so young and yet so wrought with hate of marginalized communities that have no power over you. Remember, hurting others especially those who are powerless will only increase the hurt you already have inside. I cannot extend my empathy to someone that hurts others to feel better.

My advice honestly would be to get off the internet for a bit and look deeply within. Or at least take a long break from interacting with others and learn how to respect boundaries and be considerate of people’s feelings. Having an online presence riddled with hate is unsustainable and unhealthy.

Open your eyes. Take a hard look in the mirror. Reflect on what you have said and who you are and is this really who you want to be? Because none of this is healthy at all and the ppl here that have had the unfortunate experience of being the victims of your hate deserve better. And to a certain extent, you do too.

[bettsfic]

Hi! Do you have any advice about how to reveal things about a character's past - particularly Big things, like trauma or otherwise defining moments - without either a) hitting the audience over the head in a big exposition dump, or b) hiding key info to the point where it's a Mystery to an annoying degree? I love stories where a character's behavior is somewhat of an enigma until you learn something important about them, but I don't know how to actually do that myself, esp for the pov character.

oh man what a great question! i think about this all the time. so much of writing boils down to when to reveal information. revealing information early in the story offers context, character development, and raises the stakes. late in the story, it illuminates all that came before it and casts the story in a new light.

there is so much writing advice out there that’s like “cut the backstory! nobody cares about backstory!”

but let me tell you, i’m always a slut for a good backstory. anti-backstory people are the same ones who hated the movie Solo because “we didn’t need to know more about han, he was already a good character on his own!” i read so many bad takes to that effect, and i kept thinking, excuse you! *i* want to know more about han solo!! i want information that will change and deepen my perspective of a trilogy i’ve seen a thousand times so i might go back and watch it again with new eyes!!

anyway. i’ve also been reading danmei, specifically mxtx, who is truly a galaxy brained writer when it comes to backstory. she completely changed my perspective on what it looks like to weave together a vast and complicated story structure. i remember watching the Untamed, deeply irritated by the 30-episode backstory, thinking about what poor writing it was and how if i could get my hands on the script, i’d pare it down and weave it in more thoroughly. 

but then! by the end of the flashback, i was sobbing!! me! crying! over media! and i thought, i’ve had this reaction to a story maybe only a handful of times in my entire life? maybe instead of judging this for not meeting my (extremely western and strict) standards of a “good story” i should be listening to what it’s teaching me?

i honestly think i’ve learned more about writing from mxtx than my entire first semester of a cw phd. 

now onto the actual advice:

in the first draft, let the backstory unveil itself to you naturally without concerning yourself with where information should go.

if you’re not used to writing multiple drafts, this might be difficult. but if you have a complicated past timeline that affects the present timeline, it’s nearly impossible to do it all in one go. you need at least one draft to get it all down, and another draft to put it in the right order. most of the revision process, i’ve found, is putting things in their right place. the creative brain is not an orderly thing, even for those of us who plan meticulously.

while you’re drafting, you’ll find natural pockets where contextual information should go. follow the paths that open for you. if you get to a point where a character is thinking about a certain moment in their past, go into what happened right then and there. you can always move it later, or expand on it, or cut it. but it’s important to see those cues and respond to them the very second you’re inspired to do so.

note, this is the same for nonfiction! if you’re writing a memoir or personal essay, memories will trigger other memories, and the more you allow yourself to follow those paths, the easier it is to see the patterns that emerge. you have to let your stories tell themselves to you. 

okay so let’s say you’ve done all that. the past events are all there, but it’s awkwardly placed/you just don’t like where it is. how do you find where it goes?

unfortunately i can’t tell you where backstory/contextual information should always go or how it should be placed there. but i can tell you what certain positioning does to a narrative, so you can make a more confident decision.

i can go on at length about the movement of time in a story, but i want to keep this narrowed down to the basic premise that you have a present timeline that is informed by past events, and the present timeline is the main story. (there are many other ways to navigate time, but i’m defaulting to this setup because it’s what anon is asking, and also probably the most common.)

in your present timeline, you have plot points, moments where A Thing Happens. i’ll call these moments “events.” likely, you’ve established the stakes of these events as well as their consequences. if your past timeline (stuff that occurs before your story begins) informs these events, your first choice is whether or not you want to put them before an event or after it.

if you put the backstory prior to the event, you contextualize and add depth as or before the event unfolds. this option is good for romances, adventure stories, any narrative where the tension derives from a gradual increase in stakes, and the conflict is built by an opposing force like an antagonist. 

if you put the backstory after, you illuminate the event and cast it in a new light. this might be a twist or reveal, which is good for mysteries, thrillers, or stories where the tension comes from the unveiling of information in order to answer a question the story poses. 

and you can also have a bit of both! maybe you want to tease out some information and reveal some later, or have the past and present run parallel. maybe you want to begin the backstory, cut it short, the event happens, and then you complete the backstory. this method might be good for stories where the present timeline has lower stakes than the past timeline, like recovery narratives.

once you’ve decided before/after/during, the next major decision is whether you want to thread the past into the present via summary (indirect discourse), or if you want discrete, in-scene flashbacks (direct discourse). obviously you can also do a bit of both!

i think this decision will likely depend on your narrator. sometimes a well-written 3-sentence summary is more evocative than a 3-page detailed flashback, especially if the past timeline is a composite memory. that is to say, it’s not a single event that happens, but a series of them, like if you have a memory of always eating a bologna sandwich after school, your brain compiles that into a single memory even though you know you did it a thousand times. 

but sometimes, if a past moment is really important, the 3-page detailed flashback is necessary. sometimes you’ll begin with summary and move into a scene and back out. when it comes to backstories, don’t be afraid to play around with discourse. how does the style and tone change when you summarize a conversation versus when you write it in actual dialogue? personally i’ve found that less is more when it comes to backstories so I err toward summary, at least in my own writing, but as a reader i appreciate each kind of approach. 

lastly and most importantly, get a beta reader and ask them specifically about their experience reading the backstory. here you want descriptive feedback. you’re not asking “what should i do? how do i fix this?” you’re asking, “how did you feel while reading it?” and that will tell you how to approach revision. sometimes i write a backstory that i think is a slam dunk, because i’m already invested in the characters, but i get reader feedback saying it’s boring/they were inclined to skip over it. sometimes i’m like, “haha good, be miserable and bored, you’ll thank me later.” and sometimes i’m like, “dammit fine” and kill my darlings.

on that note, sometimes you just have to own it, and bore/confuse your reader because you know the eventual payoff is good enough. if the info dump is the best/easiest/clearest method, do it. if teasing a backstory out slowly is what you’re going for, don’t be afraid to make the reader want to throttle you. you don’t write to buy into your reader’s expectations; nor do you write specifically to defy those expectations. you write to honor the story you want to tell, and you place contextual information that is most complementary to the narration you’ve chosen. 

[no-gorms]

I guess this is a timestamp for Stuck in a...? Last week an anon asked what happens next in that ‘verse and a couple of days later my brain decided to come up with this short thing.

Steve/Tony, established relationship, a/b/o, fade to black (also on ao3)

+

Left to his own devices, there are few things that can throw Tony out of a workshop groove. Typical hard limits are hunger and exhaustion; softer limits are the occasional frustration at being unable to solve a problem and its opposite, the thrill of finding a solution that he then needs to show off or celebrate.

Then there is the other kind of distraction.

Today, Tony’s working on a pair of experimental rocket boots, which are balanced on a test gantry and awaiting power-up. It’s a straightforward test – a culmination of the morning’s work and is perfectly pedestrian right down to DUM-E’s concerned chirps from nearby with the fire extinguisher. Yet what seemed crystal clear a moment ago seems suddenly hard to pin down, the numbers slipping away from sense every time he looks at them, and forcing Tony to futz with the test parameters on his control screen.

It doesn’t help that his lower back aches. He’s been rubbing his knuckles against it absent-mindedly throughout the morning, though he’d mostly relegated it to a distant ignorable distraction until it travelled upward along his spine and is adding on to the pile of things that are not doing his concentration any favors.

Wait.

“Oh,” Tony says in surprise. “Huh.”

A heat, then. Maybe. He thinks it might be early, not that he’s ever been that good at cycle tracking. That said, Steve is good at cycle tracking and has called his past heats that they’ve shared together right down to a 36-hour margin of error, so the fact that Steve hadn’t blocked Tony’s whole schedule today means that it must be either early or a false alarm.

Tony tips his head back, sets his feet apart and closes his eyes. Rolling warmth immediately blooms out of lower stomach, sending him doubling over.

All right, it’s definitely a heat.

Which means that Tony can surprise Steve for once.

Tony grins. “JARVIS, where’s the good ‘ol Captain?”

“In the conference room, sir.”

“Great. Put a bookmark on everything, would you? Thanks.”

Tony liberally sprays himself with Axe (so his scent won’t give the game away) and leaves the workshop with a spring in his step.

It’s not that he minds having to handle a heat on his own – he’s done that often enough, and gotten suppressants for whenever it’s too inconvenient to bother – but having Steve on his team, as it were, makes the whole thing far more enjoyable. It’s an excuse to drop everything (workshop binge included) and spend time with his favorite person; who, coincidentally, thinks of Tony as his favorite person, and isn’t that just something?

Though Steve would likely protest with something like: do they need an excuse? They can just be together whenever they want to?

To which Tony would respond, but this is the universe purposefully reminding them to take a break from whatever else is going on and just be. Also, the accompanying heat-heightened orgasms are fun.

Tony has more of that make-believe argument with Steve all the way down from the workshop to the conference room floor. It does occur to him that he could go to their room first and set it up – snacks, liquids, change of sheets etc. – but surprising Steve feels far more urgent. Besides, they’ve gotten a pretty good heat/rut routine down by now, which only needs their cycles to settle in sync to be perfect.

But that’s a goal for another time.

Today’s goal has Tony sneaking up to the entrance of the conference room, from which he can hear Steve and other voices in discussion. Tony’s step falters a little as he parses the tones of their voices. Business-like and serious, though it can’t be that serious since they left the door open.

Tony considers his options. He backtracks the way he came and detours to the pantry that’s two rooms over. There’s coffee brewing there already, so he helps himself to a cup and is halfway through it before remembering that caffeine’s not a good idea before a heat. He’d never bothered with such things before Steve, and the fact that that thought has Tony feeling fond instead of annoyed says a lot.

“Fine.” Tony dumps the remainder of the cup, has some water instead, and trudges back towards the conference room.

“—it’s not enough,” Steve’s saying. “I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable with this.”

“I don’t blame you,” Maria replies. “But we can’t keep the task force there. It’s recall or finish it.”

Tony’s a handful of feet from the doorway. He pauses there, hands on hips, and tries to will the meeting to die by ESP alone.

“I know a guy,” Clint says.

“You know a guy that I don’t?” Natasha says.

“All right,” Steve says. “How do you want to play it?”

Tony rolls his eyes at the ceiling and retreats to the wall just next to the doorway. He leans against it, arms crossed and the ache of earlier starting to creep down his thighs. Excitement of getting to see Steve apparently distracted him enough that he didn’t notice the slow, coiling warmth gathering down below.

Tony takes a deep, chest-rattling breath. His nose always gets more sensitive leading into a heat, and sure enough, he can make out the teasing curl of Steve’s scent in the air – familiar and calm and not close enough. When Tony shuts his eyes he can picture Steve’s form in crystal-clear mental definition: his brow furrowed and his arms crossed, a Captain America in full business mode and not expecting a diversion-in-wait a mere couple of yards away.

“—two-person show,” Clint says. “Any more and we spook them.”

Tony realizes that he’s rubbing his elbows against the wall behind him. He’s marking said wall, but he’s also working off the creeping itch under his skin. At this rate he’s going to start rubbing his face and other sundry body parts against the wallpaper soon. It’s nice wallpaper, and the Tower is technically his so he can mark everything as much as he wants, but the itch won’t be satisfied by that. It’s more likely that the itch will simply grow, and become intolerable, and there’ll be a Tony-shaped scent mark in the wall that’ll take forever to clean.

It occurs to Tony that he’d sped up his heat by coming out here to find Steve, who is right there. In the next room. When he could be in the same room as Tony, and preferably in Tony to boot.

Now that’s a nice thought.

It’s a very nice thought, in fact, and is further buoyed by some very nice memories that he and Steve have made together lately.

Tony realizes he’s panting. His gulps of air dry out his lips, and make him dizzy. He feels compelled, pulled, drawn.

He only realizes he’s started walking when he’s already taken a couple of steps away from the wall, his head tipped up slightly as though tugged through the open space by the invisible lure that is Steve’s presence.

Tony enters the conference room and, finally seeing Steve, makes a bee-line towards him. He also vaguely registers other people in the room but they’re mere shadows, distant and vague, and very unlike the solid, glowing figure of one Steve Rogers.

“Hey Tony,” Steve says. “I thought we were—”

He’s cut off when Tony reaches his target, flinging his arms around Steve’s torso and pressing his face against Steve’s neck. Steve is solid and warm, a wall of muscle that speaks to safety more than strength, and Tony breathes him in deep. There are a few inches of bare skin just above Steve’s collar, and though the skin has Tony’s scent on it, it is muted, which will not do at all. Tony rubs his cheek against Steve’s skin, in firm but small motions back and forth, while Tony’s chest does the same work marking up Steve’s torso.

“Oh, uh.” Steve takes a questioning sniff. “Ah.”

“Well, that’s your day gone,” Maria says. “Just let Barton take an away team—”

“No,” Steve says firmly, “this isn’t an excuse—”

“It is time-sensitive,” Natasha says. “Just saying.”

“I know, but—” Steve makes a surprised sound when Tony moves, sending his arms upward over Steve’s shoulders and wrapping them behind his neck. “Tony—”

Tony pulls. Not very hard, but just enough that Steve hunches over a little, giving Tony the boost he needs to bounce up and wrap both legs around Steve’s waist. Steve is, of course, a very smart man, and immediately has both hands under Tony’s thighs to hold him steady. Tony’s rumbling purr of approval lands at the soft skin of Steve’s neck, just under his ear.

“Yeah, you’re done,” Clint says. “Got a bad case of a limpet.”

“No, I want you to get in touch with your guy, find out what he can put together in 24 hours,” Steve says. Tony really likes the way Steve’s chest vibrates when he talks. He shows his contentment by tightening his grip around Steve, who pats his thigh twice in subtle acknowledgement. “The task force stays. You two put your pull-out plan to paper and send it to my email in an hour, before we even think of engaging.”

“An hour,” Natasha echoes.

“You’ll probably need longer than that to call it in,” Steve says, which has Natasha huffing in amusement. “Task force stays. Got it?”

“Got it,” Maria says. “I’ll pull the latest sat images. An hour, you said?”

“Yeah. Well.” Steve adjusts his grip on Tony and starts walking, presumably to a more private and agreeable destination. “Thereabouts.”

“Bye!” Clint calls out as they leave the room. Tony lifts one hand from Steve’s shoulder just long enough to wave.

When Steve next speaks, his voice is different. Softer, like the very bedsheets Tony hopes Steve’s taking them to. “You’re early,” he says.

“Your powers of deduction are astounding.” Tony tilts his chin up to nip at Steve’s ear, and is gratified by Steve’s shudder against him. Steve’s steps speed up to almost a run, jostling Tony as they move along. Tony grins. “Are you seriously going to take breaks to answer emails?”

“I can multitask,” Steve says tetchily. “Or at the very least, get you distracted enough that you won’t complain.”

“A challenge,” Tony says with a hum. “Sorry for interrupting the whatever, though.”

“Don’t be.” Steve stops walking, and removes one hand from under Tony’s thigh. There’s a click of the doorknob, and then Steve’s shifting his weight to toe the door open and bring them both inside. “I’m grateful that you’re comfortable enough to come to me like that. That’s, uh. It’s nice.”

Oh, so Steve likes that. Success.

Tony’s still grinning when Steve tosses him on the bed.

[retrauxpunk]

fun thought experiment;; say this lockdown thing happened back in 2014 when the boys were still all in the incubator together? how are they getting on? i’d love to know what you think would happen :))

this is begging to be written into a proper fic but alas for now all i can wring out from ‘haven’t-regularly-written-fic-in-so-long’ brain is a bunch of drabbles like so:

erlich stockpiles on weed and other than that is basically fine because we all know his life is just spent hanging around the incubator getting stoned anyway. at least, he is fine at first. then we realise that of course all the pent-up energy that is normally released by talking over richard in meetings, insulting investors, and yelling I OWN TEN PERCENT now has nowhere to go, so he becomes stir-crazy and, i dunno, starts a vlog. which he quickly abandons when he realises this is Work and he’d rather just get catatonically blazed every day.

what becomes of pied piper? i guess richard might view this as more time to work on it (esp if this occurs pre-techcrunch) and the team tries to do investor meetings over zoom and raise funds like that. which is, arguably, better … because now at least richard can duck out of frame whenever he’s struck by the urge to vomit.

jared adjusts to the lockdown so well that it’s a bit scary, because obviously the reason why he seems fine is because he’s gone through way worse in his childhood! this isn’t jared’s first lockdown, and at least this time it’s with his friends/colleagues and in the interests of public health, rather than due to the whims of some deranged criminal foster parent.

at least, that’s what jared tells himself. it doesn’t stop the nightmares, though, that have shifted up a notch in frequency.

jared starts going on walks, finding the most deserted parks he can find and hiking for hours.

one day richard has something of a breakdown because of how much the pandemic has fucked with pied piper, and jared drags him along on a hike. richard doesn’t make it to the park, obviously, because he is chronically unfit. but it’s nice to get some fresh air. the two of them start going on walks together, through the deserted streets of palo alto, and jared thinks, it’s like i have richard all to myself. i can pretend we’re the last two people on earth.

richard, meanwhile, thinks, jared might be someone useful to have around if this goes full-on apocalyptic.

dinesh and gilfoyle continue as usual with their constant bickering, prompting richard more than once to go down the lines of ‘why don’t you just fuck each other and get it over with’

to which gilfoyle one day responds, ‘is that what you finally did with jared?’

‘what?’ snaps richard, face contorting in indignation and disbelief

‘you heard what i said’

richard opens his mouth and nothing comes out, before he huffs a fake laugh, a mumbled ‘i don’t know what you’re talking about’, and storms from the room just as jared enters, colliding head-on with him

there’s an awkward flurry of apology and then jared notices dinesh and gilfoyle staring

‘is there something going on?’ he asks. ‘do i – have something on my face, or …’

‘nothing!’ says dinesh, much too loudly. meanwhile gilfoyle just silently turns away.

when jared leaves, gilfoyle flicks a glance at dinesh and happens to catch his eye. the silence a little too long.

meanwhile richard sits in his room and replays the conversation in his head, is that what you finally did with jared? 

jared?

‘finally’?

i don’t know what they’re talking about. jared just likes me as a – coworker. i sure don’t like like jared. (i mean, he is the best-looking one in the incubator, if i had to choose – wait, what?)

(it’s normal to notice these things with people you live with. he’s just – objectively conventionally attractive. like russ hanneman said, right? jared’s a tall, handsome guy … with very blue eyes.)

(i don’t have to, like, like men to think that, right? not that it would be an issue if i did, i mean … if anything, right now it’d be convenient – just – pragmatically speaking –)

richard pushes the thought away.

over the next few days, it comes back, along with a whole host of other thoughts like how nice it is that jared knows all these hiking trails and there’s no-one around and if i did kiss him, this would be the perfect place for it, now there’s an idea and what the fuck where did that thought come from?

the latter thought gets upgraded from ‘guest star’ to ‘recurring actor’, so much so that whenever they spend time together jared starts noticing that something’s up with richard, he’s somehow more jittery than usual – and nowadays, when jared lays a brief, casual hand on richard’s arm or shoulder mid-conversation, richard fights to react in an appropriate way, to not let the internal meltdown show on his face.

the next time he witnesses dinesh and gilfoyle arguing, richard keeps his mouth shut and leaves the room, heading to the backyard for some fresh air. he finds jared sitting on one of the lawn chairs, and fights the impulse to head back inside. the closest chair is the one next to jared, which is the perfect excuse to sit next to him.

‘oh hello, richard,’ says jared, smiling, as richard sits down.

‘hey,’ says richard.

their chairs are so close that their arms are touching, but richard doesn’t move. neither does jared.

meanwhile, dinesh and gilfoyle’s fight has escalated to the point where they’re right in each other’s faces, dinesh ranting about gilfoyle being the pretentious stubborn arrogant asshole he is.

gilfoyle doesn’t flinch, and his only response is, in a maddeningly even tone, ‘is that all you think of me?’

dinesh opens his mouth to reply and then he catches the barest hint of a smirk on gilfoyle’s face. before he knows it, gilfoyle is leaning in closer, and for a split second dinesh thinks oh god, no, but much much louder is the voice telling him – shouting – yes! now’s your chance, don’t fucking fuck it up and before he can talk himself out of, he grabs gilfoyle’s jacket and pulls him into a kiss.

they stay like that for a while, kissing in the middle of the kitchen, until the sound of the screen door makes them jump apart as if electrocuted.

richard and jared are standing in the doorway, eyes wide, mouths open, as if they’d been interrupted mid-conversation by the shock

‘what are you looking at?’ says gilfoyle finally

‘yeah,’ says dinesh, with a sudden bolt of courage, ‘why don’t you leave, and – what was the phrase – “fuck each other and get it over with?”’

richard meets jared’s eyes, then grins recklessly and grabs his hand. ‘come on, jared,’ he says, and pulls jared after him, down the corridor and into his room, feeling dinesh and gilfoyle’s eyes like laser sights on his back. he doesn’t look back though, he just looks up at jared, and jared is smiling like he can’t believe what’s happening, equal parts confusion, disbelief, and hope on his face.

richard closes his door and spins round to face jared, who is standing very, very close. he swallows, suddenly doubtful.

‘do you –’ he has to clear his throat, it’s so dry – ‘do you want to, uh – pick up where we left off?’ he dares a look up at jared from beneath his eyelashes, keenly aware of what feels like wildfire painting his face.

jared puts a hand beneath richard’s chin and gently tilts his face upward. their eyes meet, and richard steadies a little.

‘i would love nothing more,’ jared murmurs, smiling that little smile. it’s like he’s afraid to reveal any more happiness, lest it be spotted and snatched away.

richard grins, takes hold of jared’s collar and kisses him – and it’s only slightly less clumsy than that first kiss by the pool, but god, it feels just as good. jared takes a small step forward, pressing richard’s back to the door, and the feeling of their bodies against each other makes richard shudder.

yeah, he thinks, when they finally break apart and richard catches sight of jared with his impeccably neat hair tousled – i did that – and his pupils huge, a massive grin on his face, this was a great idea.

[justisaisfine]

So I’ve been infodumping on @today-only-happens-once and huuuh here y’all go, some Sanders bros angst started by this pic:

Coughromancough

Logan and Virgil take more from their mom

(the trial was a pretty public spectacle, yeah? Or not so much?

Cuz like, if it was, I could imagine someone pointing out the family resemblances online and one or more of the boys finding it and. oof.)

Very public

I talk a lot about the mom but like

Roman’s dad was Bad esp with roman

Like;;; he was bad in a very psychological way like threatening him and then doing things but then turning around like “well would you rather I do it to the others?”

“Keep your mouth shut” type of deals

SO LIKE AT THE TRIAL

TO HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND TO BRING ALL THISE BAD SHITS TO LIGHT-

Mostly the bros didn’t know shit about this right

And Virgil was too young to remember late nights when their dad would come in his and Roman’s room right

And their dad knows Virgil is right there too and he uses that against Roman so so much

(Of freaking course he does. the boys find out when Roman testifies I assume?? Or nah?)

He never talked about it before that

To the point of repressed memories

But with the trial and seeing him again and it’s like Flooding back in

Oh man it makes the other bros sick and Mad and like So guilty in a way because dad always used them as an excuse to get to Roman right

And it’s like finding out someone you didn’t like in your family is Actually Deranged

And it’s that weird sort of dirty feeling of being associated with him

And Kind of being the reason those stuff happened(in their heads at least- because brains are hard sometimes)

(like. maybe this is odd but conversations later that night after Roman's testimony between Thomas and Logan. Maybe where Logan like, wants to check up on him? Because he knows that was rough? But he tells himself he doesn't know Roman's emotional state (and that's part of it) but its also a bit of that feeling of guilt and like, "maybe Roman blames me and even though I know it's irrational to think that I can't shake the feeling of guilt" so he texts Thomas with a "how is he?"(

(And maybe eventually Thomas would ask Logan "did you know?" (because Thomas certainly didn't, right? and he wants to look out for Roman's bros as well as Roman and hearing that for the first time was hard for him so he can't imagine what it might've been like to hear it for the first time and be his brother))

Logan is so split in his feelings about this because on one hand yes guilt and urgh but on the other Hand They Had. A Deal Roman!! We talk about stuff!!! We’re there for each other roman!!!!

Ohhho h man and like Logan knows he shouldn’t but he feels kind of sad and betrayed at being left in the dark about this issue because they’re the big brothers, they have each other’s backs they tell each other everything! Ahhhh

(did any of the bros ask the other non-Roman bros if they knew? Like, did Patton ask logan "did you know about this??" And Logan's just lost and angry is like "no. I didn't.")

And they’re all low key mad too because Roman was always like shouldering all those responsibilities because they “had it worst than him” (even if they’d still argue that he got fucked in the head anyways lbr)

But now they find this out and it’s like !!!? “You Needed protection Too Roman holy fuck”

They’re (well Patton and Logan- Virgil wouldn’t have heard about it since he’s away and only gets snippets of the trial from Patton) immediately on him the moment they come back home the day of

And Patton’s downright sobbing by then and has been holding back in the car ride back but man

It’s finding out the person you always thought to be so strong and you look up to- to see him break down like that scared him

ESP for Patton, gosh he’s been so so bad in his head during the trial and now this on top of it all he is not okay my dude

But he asks Roman if they can stay together for the night and they both don’t know if they’re holding the other to comfort or be comforted but ahhh

(do thomas and roman ever talk about that particular aspect of it all?)

Yeah, tho it’s not a nice talk either

Roman’s still halfnin denial

And half just wanting the whole thing to be over already so sue him for lashing out

He feels too exposed and vulnerable and raw, he’s exhausted and spread too thin the poor boy

So maybe concerned worried questions feel like probing and maybe he just wants to go back to forgetting but man

(so he lashes out against Thomas? does Thomas kinda snap back/him out of the denial? Or does he just kinda take it?)

It’s a tight spot for Thomas cause like

Sure he said he’ll be there for them but what if he’s overstepping? And he can see Roman’s at his limits and probably really just needs support right now not more questioning and digging

CAUSE THomas can tell man those are some deep down repressed feelings and trauma it’s not good to not talk about it

So yeah he takes it- it doesn’t last long anyways, Roman’s no the rough type, and then it’s mostly Roman begging to not talk about it for a bit

Roman really fucking needs a break

Everyone is under a lot of stress and it’s messy

(lkdsjfksdlj I just. Lowkey wondering about like, Roman saying something like "Dammit, Thomas, will you stop with the cross examination?" and Thomas trying to be like "I'm trying to help, Roman" and Roman being like "well you're not! I don't need you to question me or badger me or--"

Cue thomas interrupting with "then what DO you need from me?" because he doesn't know what to do, really and like.

Maybe Roman kinda whirls around to face him and (maybe he's teary a lil???) and is like. "I just. need you to hold me" OR MAYBE THAT'S WILDLY INACCURATE I just love roman/thomas in your au okay im weak for it)

YEAH

So he tries and he’s seen them do this for so long they Talk a lot about stuff so he tries and most days it’s okay it works but man this new thing that’s just too much for Roman right now

And like that’s that right there right? Roman not only allowing himself to be vulnerable but to actively seek out Thomas to be there for him

And it’s not like with patton cause even there he was also trying to comfort pat and hold him

But with Thomas he’s just,,

[spaceysp]

Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY 

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy 

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely) 

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues 

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns* 

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal) 

n u m b e r f o u r 

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other) 

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF) 

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

[sevngmin]

college!seungmin

ok so

my friend made a thread(im not able to link it as her account is private) of skz as students at my college

and then i saw another thread of skz as college students

so here i am

major: law

club: photography

used to shoot his pictures on his dslr in auto mode until he joined the photography club,,, which fellow member hyunjin scolded him for

let’s be honest,, seungmin is that one boy in your major that everyone has a crush on

(you’d better be lying if you said you never have had an eye candy/crush on him before)

he came to school once with his hair up and every girl in his class wanted to set the school on fire bc that’s not the content they signed up for

and has his hair up more often,,,

not in a bad way tho bc he takes pride in dressing up for school sometimes and when people praise him for it he gets a lil blushy and goes (*^▽^*) thankuuu!!!!

if you’re in a project group w him you’re in luck bc seungmin always is super nice to his teammates and offers to lunch over work

(and also has his hair up for presentations,,, double oof)

sPeaking about presentations there was once he was looking especially fine while presenting about criminal law

and people were sneakily snapping pics of him

poor boy got so blushy he stuttered so much :(

honestly too nice to mark people down for peer evaluation but when they’re blatantly not doing work he’d not hesitate to give them a zero

you’d wouldn’t want to see him angry too esp when he hardly gets mad

meanwhile, you on the other hand,,, not so much

you have had your fair share of shitty teammates and you couldn't take it anymore

like,, have you been too nice to people for them to tell you to “just chill” when you get mad???? for legitimate reasons???

you just don’t get it

anyway

you and seungmin are friends bc he was your classmate since freshman year

and is the only one who you are somewhat familiar with in this year’s class

tbh you never really saw seungmin as someone more bc you two are kinda close and after you know him he gets kinda dorky its cute

like yeeeeeaaaaa sometimes you inevitably have the teeny tiny crush on seungmin but its no biggie

you guys are like close?? but not rlly bc seungmin has his own group of friends and you have your own

you are close with hyunjin but that's only bc y’all are on the dance team and besides, he’s in another major

seungmin always sits beside you in classes people think you’re his gf or sumn

but the people in the same class knows y’all are not bc you were the only one who snorted(too loudly) when seungmin knocked his head on the table while falling asleep in a tutorial

all the girls wanted to murder your ass for it tbh

seungmin is kind of your therapist in a way in which he lunches with you often and listens to your rants

be it about the iced chocolate in the cafeteria being watered down too much or standing on the crowded morning bus

seungmin is always that listening ear no matter what

quote hyunjin; “you should start charging her for listening to her rant about the school’s budget for the tenth time this semester”

also you; “i should start charging you for constantly making me stay back to watch you go over that same routine and song over and over again after practice.”

touché

moving on

honestly you weren’t looking forward to this year’s class bc the people in class r rlly gossipy and known for talking shit about others

but i mean,, you’re in school to get that degree,,, and not deal w shitty people right

WRONG

when the tutor assigned groups for a group project you were thanking the high heavens that seungmin was in your team

and as the team leader

so that no free-riders go to your team

it’s the week of submissions and there’s this member that kept giving excuses for not doing her part in the group report

and hence you had to do it because her parts were closely linked to yours and without her parts, you couldn't start on yours

seungmin had to help out too bc he feels obligated to as the team leader

and also feels bad??? bc he knows how you’ve been dealing w shitty people and now its another one

you honestly just want better people tbh

so like you just really couldn’t take it and went up to her face during lesson and said,

“hey if you’re not doing work i’m asking seungmin to boot you out bc you’re not doing your work”

nd she had the audacity to say,

“i did my work???? wdym”

aka write her name on the cover page

(and even spelt it wrong smh)

you rolled your eyes and huffed,

“i’m telling seungmin to boot you out, find another team.”

she just laughs maniacally which scares you, until she regains her composure and goes

“what? has sucking seungmin’s dick gotten to your pea brain?”

(that was so crude im sorry)

and she said it so loud the rest of your classmates could hear and started murmuring amongst themselves

you were appalled at her words, speechless as you could feel your blood boiling

“i must be right huh,” she scoffs, turning her attention back to her phone, “sucking up to the pretty boy to get good grades, how low.”

you really wanted to slap the living life out of her

before you could do so, seungmin slammed his hand on the table, shocking everyone

“you’re the one to speak, who did nothing but to put her name on the cover page of the report, and to the point of spelling it wrong,” seungmin seethed, which made you honestly scared of him

he stood up with his laptop and cancelled her name in front of her eyes, then pushing you behind him, “as of now, you are not part of our group. if i ever hear you bothering any of my groupmates, i will not hesitate to report this to the course head. i hope i made myself clear enough.”

you could see the fear in everyone’s eyes, as it was the first time that they saw him genuinely get really really mad at someone

the girl ran out of class crying, as you slumped in your seat, mind still unable to wrap around how she was so rude to you, hands visibly shaking

“are you okay?” seungmin asked, eyes now dripped with worry, contrary to his anger-filled eyes just moments ago

“yeah, i guess.” you bit your lip, opening up your laptop, “thanks, for standing up for me.”

“a frown doesn’t look good on you,” seungmin commented, “just smile now, hmm? it’s all over, and you don’t have to deal with her again.”

you look over at seungmin, whose brown eyes were still staring at you

you gulped, crimson tinting your cheeks as you looked away and faked a smile,

“yeah yeah, thank you for saving me, prince seungmin.” you teased to hide the blush on your cheeks

and weirdly after this incident seungmin has been kinda protective over you???

like offering to drive you to school

eating lunch with you more often

offering to drive you back home

basically sticking to you the whole time in school

not that you were complaining, seungmin has even been more affectionate?? kinda

sending you good morning and goodnight texts

smiling more often around you and laughing at your lame jokes,,, when normally he would just stone at them

to the point when your friends started asking if you and seungmin were dating,,, bc he just stuck by you almost every breathing second you’re out of your house

you had to keep telling them no until one day,,,,,, you confronted seungmin

as soon as you got into seungmin’s car, you asked,

“why are you doing this?”

“doing what?” seungmin laughs, stopping at a red light

“this.” you deadpanned, “driving me to school, driving me back, being so close to me, everything. we’re not dating or in a relationship either, so why?”

seungmin turned to you, looks at you dead in the eye and presses a kiss to your forehead, which brings heat to your cheeks

“you’re awfully dense for a law student, aren’t you?” he smiles, diverting his attention back on the road, “if that didn’t make it obvious already, that i like you.”

“h-how can you say that so casually?” you stuttered, burying your cheeks in your hands, “that’s not sincere enough.”

seungmin stops at another red light, then presses a kiss to your lips, and you were pretty sure your cheeks were hot enough to cook eggs on them

“is that better?” seungmin bit his lip, obviously shy at what he just did skskskskskskks

and you do say yes

cute

when he tries to be smooth and all but his face just gives his inner emotions away

you turn up in school holding seungmin’s hands from then on

and all the girls cried for a week straight

[gg-astrology]

🥺😔☀️💓❤️💓

a rambly all-over-the-place personal note! Incase you just want to hear from me and talk to me!! I know i’ve been gone for a while so if any followers old/new wants to hear what I actually say when Im not answering posts, here it is! 💓❤️💓 

the main point so you don’t have to see any of the mess: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted! 

note: the main part of this isn’t even about the above so if u’re looking for drama or me angsting you may not find it here!! i think i sound more like im fatigued and on my last brain cells.. talking about everything and being v sappy and mellow.. so!!! 💓❤️💓 no drama. not here! not today! 

ok now, consider:

what do u guys think about me just taking it easy... i dont know if you’ve been here for a while or for long.. but I usually do pretty detailed research posts?? about topics like moon phase in astrology, basics on essential dignitaries, etc. 

Astrology ‘topics’... stuff like ‘what is x chart what does it mean’ or ‘what is x concept how does it work’ -- not about placements usually!!! 💓❤️💓Asks about placements I just answer for fun from my inbox.. but posts I actually make.. those are the type of things!!! 💓❤️💓

And well.. I just came back.. not in the mindset right now.. so i was thinking.. would u be ok/interested if i take a break from those posts and maybe post more idol astrology stuff?? nothing serious, I just want to have fun and talk about placements and gush over people who may have similar placements to us and how good they are + how we can learn from them... 

Its just fun stuff?? very light-hearted (dont talk to me about crying through them sometimes, bc theyre so good even when i see harsh aspects/them going through manifestation of that throughout their careers) -- idk!! I just want to maybe talk about girls for a while and like, ask people to love girls and support/appreciate girl groups and asian soloists and artists... 

idk!! just a thought.. like.. i’ll still answer astro stuff and maybe i’ll slip astro posts in there as well.. 90% of my blog is still main astro stuff.. just that 10% maybe i’ll do more idol readings.. it lifts my spirits and i like talking about them!! i know its a niche in tumblr, esp the kpop gg astro stuff.. but like... girls...!!! and seventeen members (im nearly done oh my god theres 3 more left!!!)

I know i put a lot of effort into the bangtan readings bc theyre like-- the semi between my usual intense stuff and the light-hearted ones so im-- probably not gonna touch them yet (for now)  -- I always have high expectations for them because they have to be a certain Standard. There’s alot of great bangtan astro posts out there -- part of that is also v pressuring. But another part is that I want to contribute to something in the community as well! That is like, new and welcomed and good and Not Bad... so... I’m holding off bc I have to have like, a week to actually write, edit, re-edit, check myself before I (usually) publish them.. so... this is ur warning my bts inner readings wont be coming out soon!! 

im just talking about gg stuff -- or other idols, thinking about twice and gfriend and oh my god.... girl groups...

I rmb I used to do it to promote solo artists that might not have gotten alot of attention as well.. I still have drafts about Bolb4.. now consider: younha... also consider: xiao zhan, wang yibo... oh my god... but what if-- idk!!! idk!!!!!!

Anyways I just want to let u know whats been on my mind!!! I honestly dont really know? I posted the bangtan answer today (with a warning beforehand) and AS SOON AS I PUBLISHED 4 people left -- to be honest its pretty funny,,, its kinda funny right?? i think its funny,,, like kpop repellent,, but also i Get it!!! its not for u its ok dont take this social media thing so seriously... its fine i do it all the time too, dont feel guilty over blocking or unfollowing someone - do it as soon as you feel uncomfy tbh its a safe place for u make it ur safe spot!!

But!! Yeah!! 💓❤️💓 Idol things, thoughts? 💓❤️💓 

And this is not related but I was looking at old questions/asks in my inbox (some that ive alrdy answered but its still there -- like 6 asks? so thats... 6 out of the current 122 asks oof) and people are So Nice and So Polite to me!!!! amazing!!! fortunate!!!! One lucky bitch!!!!! Thats me!!!! Im the lucky bitch, who?? people are just so courteous towards when they request or asks for something?? wow---

Its only like, half way in the middle of my old asks that I realize once its more mainstream astro ppl start sending asks in like im google search... rip anyone who does that i deleted the ask bc i have a faq.. my only rule is that be nice.. not playing by the rules!!!!! 

Its also a little introspective to think about it now.. how back then when I didn’t realize it was happening I carried through and answered them anyways bc like... atleast people were asking?? they’re curious?? right?? keep the public fed! there’s people out there who does enjoy my actual answer than the ask itself...but like... now that i’m back and Refreshen: any asks that talks to me like im google will be deleted. I’ll quote this and put it up before the read more so thats the main meat of this long rant!! 💓❤️💓

basically what im saying about all this is: don’t let people treat you that way, or anyway you don’t feel absolutely positively happy about. I’m still keeping some asks that I do want to answer/I think can be turned into great points. But marie-kondo yourself, you don’t deserve to be treated like someone’s encyclopedia, dictionary or google!!!!!

they don’t really care, and it doesn’t really matter if you answer or not -- bc they can just type in the same thing to other astrologer out there and mayb someone will hit it and answer for them. So!!!! dont compromise, delete anything that doesn’t treat u like human. Bc u’re not a bot!!!! Do better!!! This is from future nita to past nita!!! Do better!!! This is why u burnt out and went awol for like a month!!!!!!!! Dont let this happen again or get into the habit, cry to ur friends!!! Ask ur beta for help!!!!!!! Add some people in as ur admin so they can clearly tell u what is right and whats wrong!!!!! dummie you’re too soft and kind!!!!! stop making excuses for others!!!!!!! do better in 2020!!!!!

So this is my rambling over!!! Answered 42 asks in my queue, know that around 30 of them have already been posted. That’s 72 done today!! Not to mention the 30 yesterday -- I was v dumb and didn’t close the ask box, thus I had +10 asks in my inbox today but its ok!!!!!!! Let the people Speak!!!! I’ll post this PSA now and go I hope u enjoy hearing from me even if I’m just rambling -- love u!! take care of urself!!! i hope this helps or entertain anyone who’s looking to know me better or hear some words from me personally!!!! this is me, signing out!!! 

[bonerattled]

❤️ 💔 💕 💖

hi i’m truly in love w u!!!! anyways!!!!

❤️: what’s the working title?

Hearts Full of Teeth also probably will be the permanent title. I rarely change my titles bc I usually settle on those before the actual story lol

💔: give a brief character bio of your 3-5 MCs

I’ve got 6 MCs so I’m gonna break the rules sry

Jamie Bannick: where do I even begin I love this boy. big ass martyr problem. in love w max and max knows it and they hooked up and it ended badly. at all times when things get uncomfortable his brain starts banging pots and pans together going MAKE A JOKE MAKE A JOKE MAKE A JOKE. his self worth directly depends on how well he can take care of everyone else (bad!!!) and yet refuses to receive the same help from others. trying his best to grapple his grief over losing Summer and failing. an absolute bi icon and we stan

Hank O’Donnell: Jamie’s bestest best friend. the only person who can call him out on his shit and not receive a defensive and snappy response bc they love each other that much. hates confrontation like would rather die. you’d have to hold a gun to his head (or be a very persistent jamie) to get him to ever communicate his feelings about something. queen of bottling feelings!!!! truly unproblematic even tho he doesnt think so. walks w a cane ever since the monster. 

Philippa “Flip” Kim: absolutely that bitch in high school who excused being a bitch as “i’m just blunt and honest!” but she’s better now. a ballerina in new york!! smokes so many cigarettes it’s frightening. still cannot tell a lie--if u wanna know the real truth abt smth she will tell u. absolutely chaotic and up for anything at all time would rob a bank it wouldn’t take that much convincing other than “it’ll be funny”. would literally truly die for her friends and almost did last summer. big scar on her face from it. we dont talk about that. bi solidarity w Jamie and i love it

Max Enfield: a gay mess and a surprise fav like u think hes a dick and then he grows on u. in love w jamie (and jamie is dumb so does not know this) but got so scared abt it he retreated and knows he ruined everything. pretends to be dumb but is actually v v smart. just never has the shared braincell of the group. runs from love bc thinks he doesn’t deserve it esp w Jamie who he thinks hung the fuckin moon tbh, when he’s scared he turns it to angry or funny to hide it. fear is weakness says him and no one else!!! wonderfully sarcastic

Cooper Calloway: team leader. missing ring and pinky finger on his right hand. we also dont talk about that. the absolute mom friend and kind of a kill joy but it comes from love he just wants everyone to be safe. definitely the one that makes food for everyone at 3 AM when they’re drunk. terrified of failure and sees what happened last summer as his fault bc he made the plans. we love him even tho hes pretentious at times. 

Lou Eisner: i’d do anything for them!!!!! can read anyone like a book but keeps it to themselves bc they r sensitive and loving and r always there for anyting ppl need but won’t push or persist. They just Know Everything and will shut up abt it until u come to them w a “secret” and they r like yeah i know lol. but do keep any secret u tell them and wouldnt tell it even if they had a gun to their head!! probably knows all of their friends’ love languages bc they r an angel. very good at knowing exactly what ppl need and how and why. love getting high. obsessed w the supernatural they know every cryptid ever probably. 

(phew that was way too long sorrrryyyy!!!)

💕: what has your favorite scene been?

Probably the scene where the Bastards all finally reuinte together after a year apart!!!!! and get super high and have the best time. oh those were the days.

second to that is probably when they find Jamie at the bridge. I love these kids sm

💖: are you planning on publishing it? if so, how?

this and wtdss I definitely wanna publish but it still feels v far in the future so figuring stuff out. have a few friends of friends who r published YA authors that I have talked to!! We shall see. I definitely want HFoT out in the world!! it deserves it I think. even if my actual writing quality says otherwise lol 

writer wip asks✨

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Chapter 9; Operation time heist planning

*Author’s note*

Hey to all who have been giving my Bad wolf series more credit, thank you soo much for your patience, since I had gotten this done all last night in one sitting I hope you find this part enjoyable esp. since I’ve added the hero who was truly responsible for saving the world, and ALL WITH A HEIST!! Hope you all enjoy this part :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@platawnic

________________________________________________

Steve, Natasha, Bruce who was now a cross over between himself and the hulk now after 18 months in a gamma lab to bring the brain and brawn together, along with Scott Lang were now at the Avengers compound.

“So—who is this other person we’re expecting?” asked Scott.  As he said that, a portal soon opened to reveal Morowa walking through it.

*Morowa’s POV*

“Just who came up with this idea?” Scott jumped back and said.

“Okay….how did you…..”

“Basic portal configuration. It’s basic training every sorcerer must master.” I explained.

“Ahh that makes since.” He muttered. “Also I’m the one who came up with the idea. I’m S—”

“Scott Lang, otherwise known as Ant-man. I know who you are. Nice job with Darren Cross.” He looked at me like he was prideful of that.

“Wow I’ve—never been complimented like that before.”

“Glad you could make it Morowa.” Steve said to me.

“If it means getting my daughter as well as everyone else back, I’m willing to do anything. So Scott explain it to me.”

“Wait, wait hold on your—your daughter?” he questioned.  I went solemn and said.

“Yeah. You met her back in Germany, she was known back then as Bad Wolf.”

“Wait Wolf-girl’s your daughter? Oh my god was—was-was she…..”

“One of the millions to get blipped? Yes. Along with half of her people.”

“Ohh man I’m so sorry. I was worried my daughter was one of the many to get zapped after I came back. I was thankful that she wasn’t….” I turned away and bite my lower lip trying not to cry.  At least one parent didn’t get to have their child taken away.

“Scott.” Nat warned him.

“I’m sorry I—I’m not helping at all am I?”

“Just tell me your plan Lang.” I urged.

“Okay so here’s how it was. Five years ago, during Thanos, I was dealing with some stuff with my—well my…..Hope is….anyway long story short I was in the Quantum realm and she—she was supposed to pull me back but then…..”

“I’m so sorry Scott, must’ve been rough.”

“But here’s the thing. For me in the quantum realm it wasn’t five years. It was five hours.”

“Of course. Time works differently in the quantum dimension. And I said I didn’t believe her. Boy what she would’ve given to say I told you so to my face.” I muttered the last part.

“Who exactly?”

“Never mind. I think I know where you’re going with this. Are you suggesting that if we enter the quantum dimension from this point in time, we can figure a way to travel through it and exit at a different point in time?”

“Yeah like a time machine. How did you know I was going with it?”

“I’ve been taught of the quantum dimensions. It’s one of the billion multi-verses known to the sorcerers.”

“So you’re saying it’s possible to do it?” asked Nat.

“I mean the sorcerers are taught that we can slightly alter each dimension to our will. But no one has ever tried it in the quantum dimension due to its constant alteration but….yeah. I’d say it’s possible.”

“So you’ll help us?” asked Steve.

“Like I said, if it means bringing back my daughter, brother, sister and everyone that Thanos snapped away back. I’m willing to do anything.”

“Alright, Scott pull in your van and I’ll get some of the controls working. Steve get the backup generators running so that way we have extra power in case things go sideways.” Bruce said.  As we walked along, I felt Nat take my arm and she whispered to me.

“You got a minute?” she pulled me aside where the two of us were now alone and she said. “Where’s Rauri?”

“What?”

“Morowa don’t lie to me! When I got off the holo-comm with you the other night you said you’d tell me if Rauri was causing trouble. And Rhodey tells me that not only has Barton killed off a Mexican gang, but some of the bodies have been torn apart, limbs and all. Now I know only two animals that are capable of that and one of them got turned to dust five years ago. So I’m gonna ask you again. Where. Is. Rauri?”

“I think I know now. Believe me Nat for years I had no idea where he or the rest of the chimeras were. Shortly after you all returned from finding Thanos, he and all the chimeras disappeared. For five years I’ve been trying to track them till I did just yesterday. But then Dean tells me that for two years Rauri left them without a note except that he and Mitchell were the Alphas.”

Her face turned from betrayal to shock.  She turned away and I relaxed myself as I told her.

“I’ve heard what Barton has become. Trust me I’ve been there myself. Had it not been for T’Challa and Shuri, I was close to becoming what he is now.”

“So—is it too late for me to help him?” she asked brokenly.  Her voice tremored.

“Not if you get to him first before he completely falls off the rails. There still might be time for him. And with any luck, we might also find Rauri with him. We can bring them both back.” I placed my hand on her shoulder and squeezed it assuringly.

She turned to me and a soft smile spread across her face and the two of us embraced each other.

Later that day, we were doing the final checkups to do a test drive of Scott’s ‘Time Heist’ plan.

“Okay, here we go. Time travel test number one. Scott, fore up…the uhh—the van thing.” Bruce said from the controls.  Scott opened up his hideous brown van which revealed a miniature quantum machine tunnel which activated.

“Breakers are set. Backup generators are on standby.” Steve said as he walked towards us.

“Good. Because if we blow a grid, I don’t wanna lose uhh, tiny here in the 1950’s.” Bruce muttered in a closed mouth towards the last part gesturing towards Scott who was putting on his gloves.

“Excuse me?”

“He’s kidding. You can’t say things like that.”

“It was just a bad joke.” Stammered Bruce. Scott nodded it off and turned away as Nat muttered to him concerned.

“You were kidding right?”

“I don’t have no idea. We’re talking about time travel here. Either it’s all a joke or none of it is.” He muttered to Nat worriedly before proclaiming loud and assuringly to Scott as he gave him a thumbs up, “We’re good! Get your helmet on.” Scott did just that as Bruce then explained to him, “Scott, I’m gonna send you back a week. Let you walk around for an hour, then bring you back in ten seconds. Make sense?”

“Perfectly not confusing.” Scott nonchalantly said with a wave of his hand.

“Good luck Scott. You got this.” Said Steve.

“You’re right. I do Captain America.” And with that he vanished into the quantum tunnel.  

Then as he began striking some buttons, Bruce said.

“On a count of three. Three….two….one!” he then turned a switch and soon someone came back.

“Uhh guys?” It was a teenage boy. “This—this doesn’t feel right?”

“What is this?” Steve questioned.

“Who is….who is that?” Nat asked confused.  As Bruce began to try and punch more coordinates in I asked.

“Is that Scott?”

“Yes it’s Scott.” He said before suddenly disappeared and as Bruce tried to figure out what was going on, someone else came back, this time an old man.

“What’s going on, Bruce?” asked Steve.  Old Scott complained about the pain in his back.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Hold on a second.” Bruce muttered as he frantically tried to fix the problem. “Could I get a little space?” he asked Steve who immediately complied as he asked him.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you bring him back?”

“I’m working on it.” With a few more clicks, beeps, and banging of the side computer, old Scott went away to reveal another shocking surprise.

“It’s a baby.” I bluntly stated.

“It’s Scott!” Bruce exclaimed to me.

“As a baby!” Steve argued.

“He’ll grow!” Bruce argued back.

“Bring Scott back now!” I demanded.

“When I say kill the power, kill the power.” Bruce urged to Nat.

“Oh my god.” She muttered as she raced towards the power controls.  I took Steve’s hand nervously while Bruce flicked a couple of switches before telling Nat to kill the power.  She did and soon coming out looked like Scott but I was worried Bruce did something to him to mess him up even more.

“Somebody peed my pants.” He said.

“Oh thank god.” I sighed with relief. Present Scott was back.

“But I don’t know if it was baby me or old me……Or just—me me.”

“Time travel!” Bruce proclaimed with his arms spread out in victory.  Steve and I just looked at him. “What?” I sighed and turned away pinching the bridge of my nose while Steve walked away. “I-I see this as an absolute win.”

“Never send a scientist to do a sorcerer’s job.” I muttered as I walked out.

As the day went on, we called in reinforcements. Rocket and Nebula, Rhodey and then in two teams we were gonna gather Clint, Rauri and Thor.  Rocket and Bruce agreed to go out to Norway where the rest of the Asgardians settled after arriving here from the Thanos attack they endured in order to get the Space stone.

Meanwhile Nat and I were coordinating where Rauri and Clint were planning to strike next so that we’d be able to find them and hopefully stop them before they continued on their massacre spree.

“Okay so what we know so far is that they’ve seen to attack every major country that still has a high level of violence.” Natasha said.

“Right and according to Rhodey the two of them hit Mexico together. I’m not sure about Rauri’s killings but he said Barton so far has hit Hong Kong, Mexico, Brazil and Guatemala. So all that’s left is North Korea, northern Russia and Japan.”

“Wait, hang on a second.” She then typed away and pulled up an article about one Akihiko Daito.  Runner of the Japanese yakuza.  Due to business going slow in the sex trafficking world, he’s now switched to drug and illegal weapon dealings.

“You think they’re gonna hit Japan?”

“Only one way to be positive. We gotta go now.” We then hopped in the quinjet and took off as fast as we can.

*3rd Person POV*

It was nightfall in Tokyo, Japan, rain was pouring down from the sky like a waterfall. The lights shined on the streets of Tokyo where Akihiko’s building was at.  However the calm streets were nothing but a rouse, for inside Akihiko’s business building gunfire blazed, and a litter of bodies were sprawled all over the ground.

“It’s them! They’re after Akihiko!” One of his men cried out as he fired his Sten rifle only to suddenly drop dead after some shuriken went right through his neck thrown by a cloaked stranger.  As more men tried to stop the men in the hooded cloak, they kept dropping like flies all because of him.

When one gave chase after him up some stairs, suddenly a huge mass of black fur leaped right at him snarling before ripping his neck apart, leaving only the sounds of choked gurgling to echo throughout the room.

Men crashing through glass, blood curling chokes, wolf snarls, and gunfire was the only music that came out of that building. Soon the yakuza leader Akihiko jumped out from the third floor window followed by the hooded figure.  

Both men landed on their feet standing just a few feet from each other.  Akihiko turned around towards the hooded figure and said.

“Why are you both doing this? We never did anything to you two!” As he spoke, he soon took out his katana ready to battle.

“You survived…..Half the planet didn’t. They got Thanos. You get us.” The hooded figure stated as he took out his own sword ready to battle the yakuza leader.

The two then attacked each other in quick, fast strokes, their swords clashing with each other’s.

“You’re done hurting people.”

“We hurt people?” Akihiko held his arms out in disbelief gesturing towards the bodies that littered the streets. “You’re crazy!” He then went for a side swipe but the hooded figure caught the blade with his, his own sword supporting the weight of the two sword with his arm before finally breaking apart.  

He jabbed a quick punch to Akihiko’s chest before holding his sword to his neck while the yakuza leader just stood there, not even defending himself.

He lowered his sword before grinning and slapped the cloaked figures sword away before going at him repeatedly with overhead slashes and corner slashes.  It worked on making the cloaked man move backwards, but only for a moment when he not only punched the yakuza in the face, but managed to cut into Akihiko’s side. Akihiko slowly turned towards the figure before placing his sword against his palm in the traditional Japanese way.

He cried out before going right at him but that was his downfall for the cloaked man also cried out and cut Akihiko’s throat. At this point he knew he had been beaten.  He collapsed to his knees holding his hand to his throat hoping to stop the bleeding, gagging on his own blood.

“Wait! Help me! I’ll give you both anything! What do you both want?” At this point coming out of the darkness and soon being illuminated by the neon lights of Tokyo, the giant black wolf holding a human hand in its mouth dropped it before slowly approaching Akihiko.

His fangs dripping red and his eyes so black they weren’t even there.  He got right up into Akihiko’s face snarling and opening his mouth threateningly at him, like he was about to rip his face apart.

“What we want, you can’t give us!” the hooded figure spoke in English before finally delivering the final stab, killing Akihiko. Ending the last of the Japanese Yakuza.

As he wiped the blood from his sword, the hooded figure looked to the wolf and nodded.  The black wolf went down to pick up Akihiko’s body to devour it, but before he grabbed it, he suddenly turned around and snarled, seeing that someone was now standing behind them.

The figure took down his hood and removed the all black mask to reveal Clint Barton.  But his appearance was different.  Each side of his head was shaved off, leaving just the tuff at the center, giving him that mohawk kind of look.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He said without turning around, because he knew just who it was.  Or at least one of them.  For standing under two umbrellas were Natasha and Morowa.

“Neither should you.” Said Nat.

“Both of you.” Added Morowa staring mostly at Rauri. Clint turned towards Nat, his eyes were cold and soulless with dark bags of deprived sleep.

“I’ve got a job to do. And this wolf offered his help.”

“Is that what you’re calling this? Killing all these people isn’t going to bring your families back.” Natasha tried to reason. Clint remained silent while Rauri continued to lowly snarl at the two women before him.  “We found something. A chance, maybe.” Natasha said as she slowly walked towards them.

Then on a dime as Clint looked up at Nat his eyes went from cold to utter despair.

“Don’t.” he bluntly said.

“Don’t what?” asked Nat.

“Don’t give me hope.” Trying to hold back her tears, she told her dear friend and brother.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner.” Clint looked down helplessly while Nat reached out and took his hand, this time Clint didn’t refuse as he clenched her hand back.  Morowa soon tried to walk towards Rauri who had ceased his snarling and took off running down the alley.

“Rauri.” She didn’t have to run far because he had only turned the corner and hid himself behind an abandoned truck.  “I know you’re in there, so listen; I know—I know things hadn’t been easy since…..you know. But what Natasha said is true. There may be a chance to bring back everyone. Your friends, your family, your wife.”  

She slowly approached the giant black wolf that towered over her by at least 4 inches past her head.

‘It can’t be undone.’ His collar spoke out.  For the first time in years actually.

“It might.”

‘No.’ he looked to his mother in law with sad eyes, his ears bent backwards in shame as he finally spoke out. ‘That’s not what I meant.’

“Then what did you mean?”

‘Once a bad wolf goes bad, it cannot be undone. How—how can you forgive the beast I’ve become?’  Morowa looked at her son in law with empathy in her eyes.

“I’ve already lost two daughters to last a lifetime Rauri. Don’t make me have to go through the pain of having to lose a son too.” She slowly raised her hand up and gently touched him right between his eyes before slowly stroking upwards.  As she did that, his wolf fur slowly shrunk.

His paws and wolf legs turned into human limbs and finally for the first time in over 2 years, Rauri was human again but his appearance had changed too.  

Instead of the wild, shoulder length hair, it was now cut like a normal men’s style haircut, kinda sleeked back like a 1940’s hairstyle, he was also clean shaven with no trace of a beard whatsoever, and his eyes much like Clint’s held despair, heartbreak, and sorrow.

Morowa slowly wrapped her arms around her son and held him tight and he embraced her back.  Burying his face into her shoulder, clinging onto her like a small child as he allowed tears to fall down his face.