#esp if you want to believe it for the reasons of Oh This Is Cool

[no-light-left-on]

hot take but taking every hearsay or rumor or book in a fictional universe for fact is bad understanding of the world as the story presents it, actually

[ranvwoop]

i need to expel the silly guys in my brain . but i forgot how to draw and writing is hard... much to think about

[arcadianmoonshadowjedi]

Heya! I just watched the last two episodes and oh yep, that got resolved quickly, and even with a lot of fun haha! I'm satisfied with it as well!

The thing with TDP is, I kinda never know which story element is just a smaller matter that will be resolved within a couple episodes, and which events will be spun into a whole multi-season arc, so... I wanted to talk about the brothers' separation at length in case Ezran decided to keep the grudge for a longer while.

I understood that things were complicated and that Callum was torn between two people he loves. I don't deny that he had reasons other than Rayla and that Ezran was difficult to approach in that moment.

I guess I find myself identifying more with Ezran's position because his world was, in comparison, still faaaar more complex than Callum's. Callum's motives were clear and personal. But Ezran, while having the same personal complexity, also had to keep up a PUBLIC persona on top of this at all times. Plus, he still is barely a teenager, while Callum is now almost an adult (Idk their canon ages).

What I'm trying to say is, I guess, that my brain is heavily influenced by The Queen's Thief book series at the moment, which touches upon the private vs. public image of Royals, their need for ceremonial pretense, their need to stay guarded and their struggle with trust, in a much more detailed and weighty way than TDP does. Also, the King's status as an absolute and representative figure is much more emphasized. With this in mind, Callum is an ass for abandoning the Child King who is his brother who just experienced the catastrophe of having his Capital destroyed who is not doing well emotionally because he just had to look into the eyes of his father's murderer for the first time since it happened.

I know, I know, I know. It all wasn't that bad, it worked out fine, the feelings they harbored weren't that destructive to their relationship or maybe the overall end-of-the-world threat they were facing helped them to put the scene at the river behind them. Also, Ezran had Aanya and held his spirits, and was ingenious enough to think forward even without any of his other allies present. He was his own person (something he learned in a previous season, I believe) and so I am proud of him for standing strong. TDP isn't TQT. Still I'm grateful for its behind-the-scenes look into a complex Royal experience because it helps me interpret depth into my fave boi Ezran.

Thank you for responding! The brothers are good, even Rayla apologized, Runaan stated his case and Ezran let go of his resentment, it's all good in the archipelahood. The river scene simply caught my attention because I thought the dynamic it provoked was suuuper fascinating.

Cheers!

Reddie

Definitely decided to finish another rewatch esp since I started my first watch at 3am before answering. I would disagree about calling Callum an ass though because he wasn’t planning on leaving his brother at first, he did try being a mediator between him and Rayla and had an entire conversation with him before things escalated as elaborated in my previous answer. Callum only chose to leave when he felt like Ezran wasn’t going to hear him out and saw that he was even willing to escalate violence against both Rayla and Runaan. If anything, Callum staying not only would’ve resulted in him getting arrested, but his relationship with Ezran would’ve become more strained especially if Callum wouldn’t have able to do anything besides nod to everything his brother was doing even if he disagreed. Like I’m not saying that Callum handled the situation perfectly or ideally, but he does tend to act in the heat of the moment, depending on what the situation demands of him often without much prior planning or thought. If anything, I think the time they spent apart helped them cool off things between them and realize how much the two needed each other. I might actually make a separate post on this whole topic going into further detail about all this and the complexity of the whole situation from each character’s stance and perspective.

Thanks for the ask and I hope this answered more of your question 😊

[qprpbj]

i'm back again hello hi im gonna rant nonsense about runaway au

when you say mid 20s trans dude i picture trevor from shameless for some reason 😭 and i fucking love the drag queen kinda being a guide for them sometimes (that's what im getting out of this) and just popping up whenever and if i say who this drag queen reminds me of in my head i'll get BURNED ALIVE

okok i love the idea that pony bleaches his hair and steals a bunch of his brothers clothes i can totally see that!!!! that's so ponyboy. i love that he's free to do whatever he wants (mostly). and johnny, he's probably already comfortable how he is, yeah. i don't think he's that big on change... i LOOOVE transmasc ponyboy hes me

oh, and names for the group, they'd probably have the weirdest freaking names or the stupidest nickname you've ever heard of (ponyboy and johnny think its cool af though) THAT'S WHAT I THINK THOUGH i see a vision in my head idk how to explain it

and i get the not all hanging out thing, they kinda just see each other randomly

if u can't tell im loving this au so much god help us all im gonna go insane

brooooo i need you to tell me who this drag queen is ur thinking of. i won’t even answer it if u want im just nosy as hell. also i’ve never seen shameless but im ctfu at how that’s the same token trans dude in the fosters LOLL

look. he loves his big brothers esp soda. but without the events of the outsiders actually happening, he’d have never had to have had a reason to get over his beef w darry and they would’ve just been driven further and further apart bc there’d have been no reason for any sort of emotional connection there. so by the time it’s been like 3-4 years of darry’s caretaking pony’s tired of it and is frankly just. idk soda just isn’t enough to keep him around anymore (even if he does really miss him when he runs away!!!). i think he sends back a few unlabelled postcards to soda when he’s settled down a couple months later telling him he’s safe and happy where he is but that he’s not ready for them to know where he is yet - but that he’ll get there and he does miss home, just that he needed to leave. some months or a year or however long later he finally does out a return address on it and u best believe soda is there on the next mf train

then of course. gets to meet ponyboy for the first time. his little brother. in one of darry’s old flannels and tattered blue jeans and bleach non-toned blond hair no longer than like an inch and stubble on his face and his voice is so low. and it’s like pony’s finally grown into himself, looks so happy, lit up in a way soda had neverrrrr seen his little sister before, but now its allllll making sense

yeah they def all have fucked up weird goofy ass names and ponyboy fits Right In. in fact johnnys probably the odd ball for having such a normal basic name in this group LOL

i’m so glad you love it i’m fr eating this uppppp

[rarepears]

This is the Shen Jiu marries an Arabian prince and gets super into astronomy anon, but I just thought of like.

So, the Arabs do a lot as merchants. Which would probably put them mainly in contact with Shang Qinghua.

It makes me wonder if transmigrator!SQH ended up negotiating a contract with the besotted prince and went "I CAN GET MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW OUT OF HERE AND STOP FEELING LIKE SHIT OVER HOW HIS STORY ENDED!!!!" and proceeded to immediately do everything in his power to make that marriage happen because while he has zero confidence that dropping Shen Jiu in the lap of someone who adores him unconditionally will fix him now or ever, it definitely can't make things worse, and will in fact go a very long way to preventing things getting worse.

Also makes me think of SQH eventually being like the only one Shen Jiu kept in contact with, because yes he's annoying and pitiful, but when he was pulling the "marry Shen Jiu to besotted foreign royalty" bandwagon, it wasn't because he wanted to get rid of him, it was because Shang Qinghua wanted Shen Jiu to be around people who liked and would appreciate him, rather than stuck rotting in Harem Drama Hell. Maybe initially they only kept in contact for trade agreement reasons (which was ostensibly the purpose of this marriage) but SQH always made sure to a) bring some of Shen Jiu's favorites from home, b) genuinely make sure he was okay, and c) check and make sure that his husband was still besotted. Maybe Shen Jiu discovered SQH had a "smuggle my scariest shixiong to......... Eh I'll figure it out" plan in the event of Shen Jiu being mistreated? Or one of his least favorite courtiers says something snide and before Shen Jiu can get a word out Shang Qinghua says something that makes the man cry with fear. Idk how they get to the point of "spiritually you are siblings" but I am having visions of Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu drinking anachronistic coffee (bc this is Airplane's novel ofc it is) over tanghulu and red bean paste buns and not mentioning the peak lords even once. Just chatting about trade and SJ running the kingdom with his husband and fabric and cool knives. Possibly with a side of Shen Yuan being a prince (adoption? Magic? Who knows) and SQH being his favorite uncle.

.......I wonder if SQH warns Shen Jiu that Binghe is coming/keeps him updated on demonic happenings.

.................wasn't OG Rat Qinghua supposed to get murdered by MBJ for betraying him.

Oh no.

NOW I am going down rabbit holes of Moshang typical violent misunderstandings and lack of communication, except this time SQH is the adoptive younger brother of an Arabian queen, and oh God the court intrigue and politics and drama you could pull with that. Esp if Shen Jiu eventually just. Yoinks SQH. "If this ice king wants to keep you around then he's welcome to start fucking acting like it."

And ofc Shen Jiu's husband won't say shit besides "oh we gotta welcome my brother in law appropriately! Make sure he has clothes and nice rooms etc etc" because he's also familiar with the little merchant/logistics lord who is absolutely wide eyed fluffy hamster levels of ADORABLE (bc I firmly believe SQH is the cutest little thing second to nothing but White Lotus Binghe, and also oblivious to this) and correctly thinks that having SQH's spymaster/logistics capabilities working for them is a good thing.

So SQH gets a break, gets to wear some super pretty clothes, gets to never have to worry about freezing to death, or getting injured accidentally or otherwise, etc etc. The courtiers, especially the scientifically inclined ones, adore him, partly bc he's cheating using modern knowledge. But he tells such wonderful stories! And he runs things so efficiently!

The Queen is sharp and brilliant, beautiful and vicious when provoked. His younger brother is just as intelligent, but is absolutely adorable, skilled at organization and he tells the *best* stories.

(please I just want Shang Qinghua to get so much of the appreciation he craves that he doesn't even know what to do with it)

MBJ and LBH are both sulking in the demon realm bc Shen Jiu is forcing them to think about what they've done and use their words.

......ok now I want "disillusioned but naive" Binghe and "learned but foolish" Shen Yuan to get a romance. They both learn that life and the world isn't what they thought it was together. Shen Jiu is furious but Binghe has taken every bit of his running a kingdom advice to heart and is truly genuinely doing everything right. Finding out the beast refuses to so much as hold hands with A-Yuan until Shen Jiu has approved of him would, once upon a time, have caused him to double down on disapproval. Now- with his doting husband who looks thoughtfully at the pair and says, with the look on his face that means he's thinking of their own relationship, "maybe we should give him the chance to disappoint us first. Something tells me he's not going to,"- Shen Jiu sighs heavily and sets about making a true good faith attempt to finding out if Binghe and a-Yuan are suited to each other.

(the main reason he does so is because his a-Yuan loves monsters, and Binghe will be able to take him to see as many as he wants while still being single mindedly focused on keeping him safe.)

YES YES YES!

EVERYTHING IS A BIG FUCKING RED YES!

SOMEONE MAKE THIS INTO A 100K FIC BECAUSE THIS IS PERFECTION!

[More in #Shen Jiu is forced into an arranged marriage to an Arabian Prince AU]

[todayisafridaynight]

OH OH OH OH OH FULL NAME FULL NAME AKANE KISHIDA

I figured she was the one to get in touch first based on Jo knowing she wanted to see her son, but I have SO many questions about that... how does she know her son survived... how does she know Ichiban was her son and not Aoki... how does she know who Jo is and how to contact Jo... (<- tearing my hair out as we speak)

Anyway when you have the opportunity please view the gameplay footage...

obsessed how its addressed to Mr. Jo Sawashiro i dont know why that detail tickles me... thats cute..

chicken-and-egg kinda deal with Who Contacted Who first. like id ASSUME sawashiro'd get in contact with her first if he was feeling guilty enough about The Whole Situation and was willing to dig into arakawa's past imo, esp since akane wouldn't have any reason (or ability to) know who he was until after he joins the yakuza.. and i mean.. shes long gone by then.. tho that's assuming they got in contact early on and they didnt JUST start communicating within the past few years.

BUT EITHER WAY just gotta wait and see for it all to play out.. in three months <- still cant believe its coming out january 26th 👁️💋👁️

IM OBSESSED WITH THE GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE im soooo glad i was right in how they were going to handle the style change aspect (though i guess it wasnt a hard thing to predict but still..). I LOVE HOW KIRYU CAN ACTUALLY ROAM FREE THAT'S SO COOL i remember people kept speculating on how the gameplay was gonna go with how different ichi and kiryu's playstyles are and this is SUUCH a rad way to answer that question. my excitement is immeasurable and im gonna throw up

[eurydicejones]

i feel like saying some things that i believe or figured out with my anorexia recovery

-adding protein to carbs goes such a long way. even if its poptarts and lunchmeat. who cares. it helps your body digest the calories and makes it last so much longer so you dont get a super hard crash.

-they are lying about "dont eat before bed" u can eat before bed. it doesnt matter. maybe dont eat until youre fucking bursting at the seams bc that wont feel great when you lay down but if u want to have a bowl of cereal before bed. go for it. im not joking that shit saved my life.

-toppings are great. toppings on ice cream. toppings on yogurt. toppings on oatmeal. i couldnt do toppings on anything else bc itd fall off but it prob works for other ppl.

-if u know ur hungry but u dont feel hungry drink some water ur probably also dehydrated and its like. the water pops the hungry barrier. and then u want food.

-mindful eating (focusing on eating when youre eating it helps with your hunger/fullness cues and like your relationship with food and eating) is so cool. but if youre having trouble getting yourself to eat its perfectly fine to do something at the same time. theres a lot of meals i wouldnt have eaten if i didnt have something going on to distract me. you can do mindful eating another time. its okay.

-food novelty is also helpful. i still have issues when i have like a meal thats all mixed up in a bowl. im just like ya thats enough for me. except for pasta and soup. but thats me i really like pasta and soup. try getting another thing in another container. like fruit or a side. like a banchan. (im not korean thats just the best word to describe various sides that ive literally ever heard)

-starving yourself is actually bad for your skin. im not trying to push beauty standards if u have acne who gives a shit. esp if you dont give a shit. but i had HORRIBLE acne for years. nothing worked. and then i recovered and i still have acne when i neglect my skincare but my baseline is much clearer. and personally that makes me happy. so if you know youre not eating enough and you have acne. could be connected.

-theres SO MANY REASONS ONE MIGHT EAT. like not in the "eat because you need to do this blah blah blah" im talking scientifically. there are many factors that play into human hunger. you god physical hunger. we know her. belly goes "hhnnnggff hungry" and we go okay here u go girl. preparation eating or whatever. you know u wont be able to get a good meal when u need it so u eat in advance. social eating. everyone is eating together. u wanna eat with them. you eat with them. its beautiful. taste eating. like a craving. you wanna eat the thing that tastes good even if ur full. do that with caution bc you might get sick. emotional eating. also do this with caution bc you might get sick. but youre sad youre angry u wanna eat something THATS FINE U CAN DO THAT YOURE ALLOWED. theres also another one where your body is like "we need this food idk how it tastes but we need it" i was never told what that is called but it was in my side of the mountain where he was like I HAVE TO EAT THIS SQUIRREL LIVER oh my god ew its disgusting and then hes like ooooohhh i need vitamin a. that also happens. so theres a lot of reasons one might want to eat. and those are cool.

-ill say this next one with the caveat of im AFAB w the uterus and the ovaries and the estrogen. like yk how m*tt w*lsh would be like "define a woman" those freaks would be talkin about me. i dont stand by them but thats my equipment. and if you have the same equipment you will very likely go through a "second puberty." i have a different menstrual cycle. it was 31 days and now is 28 and its still regulating itself. and i got my period literally uhhh almost 7 years ago. but i lost her so. and i got taller i had like three growth spurts. my chest shrank and then grew back and then grew more. my horny levels went up. normal puberty things but like round two.

-my brain is not foggy anymore. like not regularly. i can think clearly because my brain isnt starving. im not necessarily smarter i can just think faster. and thats cool.

-also i can go up stairs better.

-the only issue is that i have problems standing and walking around for long periods of time. i get really tired. i think i either need to exercise more or its just something im gonna suffer from forever. im probably gonna end up suffering forever bc truth be told. i am scared of exercising. hehe.

-im happier too. could be the antidepressants could be the food. i dont know. but its fun!!!

-heres a scary thing. you will never be prepared for how hard eating disorder recovery will be. i had anorexia but any ed. will be the hardest thing uve ever done. and i graduated high school without knowing i DESPERATELY needed disability accomodations. it requires SO MUCH self reflection and vulnerability and scary shit. eating is terrifying. thinking about why you dont wanna eat is scawwy. gaining weight is freaky. its all scary and hard but u still gotta do it. figure out why for yourself. im not gonna tell you.

-people have different eating disorders for different reasons. for like two years ppl were like "why are you ashamed of your body? why do you wanna be skinny? why dont you think youre beautiful?" and then i figured out literally one random thursday "oh i dont think i have value unless im on the brink of death." and then i was like "thats stupid." and then i gained like 35 pounds and now im here. its not always body image. and its also not always anorexia dont be a fuckass whos like "YOUR ED ISNT A REAL THING STOP LYING" stfu.

-those bmi calculators are lowkey bs. when i was starving myself to the point where i could barely stand and i lost the thigh gap i had SINCE I WAS BORN the calculator was like "ummmmm youre kinda underweight. but a little bit." fake news. and now im healthy. im at my baseline weight. cognition good organs good brain good life good energy good and i checked the bmi thing for a health assignment (didnt wanna but i had to) and it was like "youre actually like slightly overweight. not goooood." and i was like huh. bc like one im. not? and also like whocares. whocares. not i. not i sir.

-following that literally only stupidheads will care if youre fat. like if you have health issues relating to your weight or like its making your life harder. thats grounds to lose weight. thats chill bc thats a decision you make. many haters will be lying about what makes someone fat and many haters will be like u suck bc youre fat. theyre full of shit. dont listen to them they are fuckass stupidheads.

okay im gonna call it there. some of this is just about food and eating and some of it is about body image and recovery stuff. but i hope it was informative or helpful or fun and i love you and youre strong and sexy or youre ugly if u wanna be. u are an ethereal deity of a faraway land or youre like freaky lil swamp creature if thats more your vibe. im proud of you either way

okay bye much love kisses

[castlebyersafterdark]

i just had a week off fandom because i was away on spooky holiday, and spent some time watching halloweeny things and other shows. then i watched some stranger things, out of order, the early seasons. and i totally got lost in the show and forgot about fandom, it felt just like when i first saw it. and i realised coming back here, that mike and will's relationship is so much bigger and more thematic than byler v mileven. it's meaningful in terms of queer writing, in terms of how trauma is portrayed, its meaningful for them separately and together as characters outside of their sexualities.

i think this sometimes gets lost in the byler fandom, mainly because there is such pushback that it sort of becomes about proving they are real instead of enjoying the story for what it is, and how much more important mike + will as a romantic pair will be in grand scheme of things than just proving milevens wrong. its actually quite jarring to come back and see that so much byler content is people just sassing milevens, or trying to prove something, or being defensive. it gives enjoying byler a strange flavour because it makes it about being on edge rather than just enjoying the story. this fandom is a fascinating case study in propaganda and social influence, how if youre told something enough times ("byler will never happen") you start to believe it despite hard evidence (the show itself) to the contrary.

i still love this small community and check my fav blogs though. but it was a nice reality check, esp at this time of year! spooky season is the perfect time to step back and rewatch the show as a total newbie who just wants a good mystery thriller. i feel happier than ever to wait for s5, our boys are coming together and all we need is patience 😊 and if you can recommend any more blogs who focus on the good stuff like you, please do! i'm sick of being jumpscared by 'milevens say that...' posts lmao

Yes!!! Agree. I also took a tiny break and I'm back, well, I wouldn't say refreshed (still a little bit exhausted from the past few days 😅 Halloween wore me down yall haha) but it's always beneficial I feel to step away for whatever reason and then dive back into fandom when you feel up to it. Brain needs a break from the fandom focus sometimes. Good points in this ask. I haven't actually sat down and watched the show in a while, but revisiting those favorite episodes is a cool idea. Hit the mark on what's important and why the show, and these two characters in particular since that's what I and many focus on around here, resonates so deeply. It's more than just "oh, these two are cute, they should be a couple, this is a ship in the fandom yay" but it's... it's a lot more. It's an important story. Not trying to sound cheesy but I always end up that way 😉

There is definitely a thing in this fandom that I don't really vibe with, the insecurity and constant defense and ship wars. Maybe it's the fact that there technically is a love triangle existing, the slow burn, the impatience, the track record with queer relationships and getting crumbs when there's a gay character. But, there's also been a lot more progress and real canon gay relationships lately. I don't fear as heavily with this show, because the show has given the biggest proof. And I also... don't care what people who hate the idea of Byler or still love Mlvn are doing. I don't care! About Mlvn fans on the internet!! The show is the show and whatever happens happens. I think people would be sooooo much happier if they curated more. Don't seek out spaces of contention! Don't engage with people who are just gonna make you mad ☹️

Little communities are cool, happy here, hope other people are finding their spot, focusing on what's cool and interesting and just - cut out the noise. There's too much going on in the world and online to devote time to getting defensive over fandom, especially one where the source material is so good and there's so much creativity to be found from it. I wouldn't know where to start with recommending other blogs - have to admit I always feel bad if I'm calling people out and leaving others out and there's thousands of blogs in the stranger things fandom! I have friends in the fandom who I really enjoy talking to and who have cool blogs, but we don't 100% agree on theory and character dynamics and other stuff and that's totally ok. Even I have expressed opinions and people have been quick to jump at me and disagree and hey, no one has to be down with every single opinion I have either!! I just hope for kindness in those instances.

So, you really just gotta see where the hard lines are, what you do and don't care to deal with on your blog and see on your dash. Fandom is very imperfect, but all we can do is focus more on what we consider a positive so it drowns out the little negative things we do encounter.

[khaleesiofalicante]

tbh dani i dont give a fuck about the clave or alec or david or (th eone i never understood or care for) kincaid (like bro even gabriel killed his demon father all he had to do is out his dad or take a stance against him but he wants the damn glory and feels tied to his destone and no i am not willing to hear anything in support of this familywho somehow is still more powerful than lance), nor do i care about that bitch victoria( bc no matter her mental problems I HATE HER), or that asshole fucking hope he gets mauled kyle,

I only care about max and lance and david (and yes that is right i really dont give a shit about arthur either)

I think its obvious i am high on this chapter's feelings, idk i feel strongly for accountbaility where its due and revenge in general but esp for lance. Though i had hoped lance would burn idris or get revege by killing people , bc arthur got hurt i wasnt that mad like i was mad bc of teh reasoning behind it and bc i hate kyle but it was sort fo his fault did he think it wld be all lalala land if he goes to idris that littel shit anyways, BUT BUT GWEN ?!? DANI , wow wow i am speechless but in a mad kind of way. i dont accept this. nope no no no

how much is that family esp lance and david going to hurt, i just want a proper revenge for them at teh end, like people begging for thier/them for forgiveness sort of, i know they are never going to be apert of the shadowworld but i had hoped it alawys had shadow demons over them, i hate them that much

i also dont like that kincaid was so easily able to defeat lance and people celebrated it, I loved lance in this ch like wooo go off boy, and wow max being all powerfull and manipulating blood was sooooo cool, go be badass baby, also arthur should be grounded for a decade or so or even for life, i hated how kincaid downplayed lance and arthur relationship like idgaf whether arthur CHOSE you or not, lance is superior sorry kid.

I also HATED RAFE , but that is normal for me now, i havent liked him in lbaf for a long long while. i hope they lb family just cuts all of thier siblings and cousins off, like no contact and they fucking realize or feel how much that family suffered , like of wow you didnt have sun for 20 years big deal bro, there are places on earth which doeasnt have that for 6 mnths every year since eternity. they DESERVED THAT isaid what i said, i am just getting bored of rafe and his reasoning like oh NOW you decide to fight harder what does he want congratulations?!

the idris people and kincaid deserved the bad thinsg happening to them for me, like i feel it isnt enough, also madeline srsly you knew abt lance being david kid and possibly inheriting the demon blood, did you think it was a good idea to go to idris when pregnant with your husband like i think you vicariously consented to the liability and possibility of damage when you also knew david can do shadow demon shit.

so yeah i am beyond reason in this fic when it comes to hating idris and all living being there and only support lance and david and max ( yes i am deliberately leaving arthur his idiotic naviety that kincaid cares about him when it comes to him vs his own family or so called destiny he is irritating me , like sir he doesnt give a shit about what he said to you idk why he believed kincaid's promises.)

i just want someone to lecture them after locking them in a room preferably alec i have no hope for rafael in this fic he is beyond any hope for me and so is kincaid so

😘thank you for teh rollercoaster of the chapter bye. But i hope you give vengeance to lance and his family against idris. 👿

This was A RIDE lmao.

I love when y'all take it personally and get emotional (shows me I am doing my job 😎)

I can't promise you anything. But I can tell you that I believe in happy endings, but I don't think everyone gets one. A story where EVERYONE gets their happy ending doesn't make sense to me. Some people do and others do. As to who will get it and who won't is entirely up to (in this scenario, me lmao).

So we shall wait and see :)

[kidflashimpulse]

i fully believe the hc that the circus was meant to be a triple date but with bart missing ed didn't want to go so tye gave the extra tickets to his mom and grandpa. i also just think ed was the first to notice something was off. like bart's friends obviously love him, but also it's perfectly normal to happen to not cross paths or keep in touch with your friend for around a week bc you're both busy, esp as you get older. it's different from "hey why is my BOYFRIEND suddenly GONE?"

SAME 😭 like this is honestly the only explanation that makes any sense and at this point have accepted it entirely as canon lol that’s exactly what went down :D

and ur totally not wrong like it’s reasonable to an extent, i just can’t help but think of ed saying they’re cancelling and when asked why he’s like oh idk my boyfriend’s just gone AWOL for no reason no biggie and tye and jaime r like k cool 😭😭

[spacedykez]

Helluuuu I wanted to answer your ask answer but the finale threw me off into a frenzy sooo YEAH - I still can't believe Martyn really won!! I'm so happy!!! AHHH THis ask will prob be super messy bc I still am processing ksksks

I haven't watched any Trafiic!Scott before now so I really REALLY want to know more (and ofc watch LOL) so it's very cool and convenient for me that you know him so well!! And yes the being lonely and scared of being left again - that also got me very into it NGL. (why is the projection so strong with him, hm? q.q /pos). But also as a Martyn viewer that was one part that drew me in for him which is that Ren just picked him up in 3rd life and damn if that isn't smth to project onto as well for me ksksks - but yeha enough stuff about me!

I find it super funny and amazing that you're super into 3L and DL and here I sit with still brainrot from LL B) I just love how different each series feels to everyone and we all have such valid favs/favours!!! but yeah I love how u can see those parallels and now even with the parallel in the battle royale between Martyn and Scott - I feel like scratching my eyes out the parallels are too strong and too good!

okay I def need to watch flower husbands (and maybe empires s1 too ig??) myself but tumblr osmosis told me a bit BUT AHH THE PROTECTION THINGY SCreAMING!!! in this season the "i love you" took me out in the best way q.q scott felt like he was ready to blow it all for jimmy something something

Also as a valid and verified Scott viewer: do you think he purposely tried to not win this season? i'm not sure about this but he was giving lives away so freely (esp in the end) and i feel like I've missed a reasoning there)

and ohHHH yes I'm so happy you watch so much scott that's so cool and all i'm super happy for u!!! wanna watch him more too now for suuuuuure - also I'm so excited for martyn's lore/q&a stream today I am vibrating and also it feels sooo so good when your fav won??? like??? i am unser how to behave now bc i didn't actually think it'd happen and now he's just in line with grian, scott and pearl and I'm just like "ahhh that's my shitty /pos blorbo i picked up bc he's just as rootless/homeless as me <3" (not actual homeless but more so the moving around a lot and not havung 1 dedicated home stated by themself) and so yeah I really think u got martyn down well and that makes me scream so much /pos

!!!! hihi im super happy the ending was like. pretty much could not have gone better ngl. i loved it. literally perfect tbh.

oh yay that is convenient!! yeah im more than willing 2 brainrot abt my blorbo. like i said i never really got into LL but i've watched 3L, DL, and now LiLife. also it's the sad dramatic theater gay vibes. my silly little blorbo <3 i don't know how many of scott's series you've watched but osmp scott is literally the guy ever for angst like. im not starting on o!scott because i WILL ramble for YEARS but he is so SAD and i love him 4 it. and esmp1!scott is on his elsa kinnie arc (INCLUDING the trauma <3)

THE PARALLELS W THEM... THEYRE SO STRONG. talking abt Scott there are SO many parallels between martyn & jimmy; the pufferfish, the blond hair, the protectiveness (just reversed), and more i'm sure i'm not mentioning.

from martyn's pov... i don't know. i feel like i have martyn wrong. sigh. he's just! as a first time viewer of martyn he seems to me very loyal but also haunted by the watchers/listeners/narrative- i don't KNOW most of martyn's lore !! and i was never EXTREMELY into treebark like i was w flower husbands. its just. im trying to figure him out but i still feel like i have him all wrong and the moment i think i've got him figured out someone tells me i'm wrong. trafficblr was all "omg martyn loyal hand killing scott like he killed ren" and im like YEAH YEAH!! and then he wins and its like "no youre fucking wrong he was never loyal ever" and im just like bro wtf. its just ive not WATCHED martyn a ton before LiLife (i watched a few of his 3L & DL videos but not all of them and not anything else outside that) and i'm still trying to get his characterization down and tumblr isn't helping because i was like yeah yeah okay loyal hand this lines up with what i've seen from him, this makes sense, i've got him. and then the finale happens and all of a sudden it's "no you FUCKING IDIOT he's NOT loyal FUCK you"

...sorry if you read that whole rant. anyways!

yes. from a meta perspective: yes. scott DOES NOT want to win again, especially not a third time in a row. yes, technically pearl won DL, but a lot of people do count it as a joint pearl-scott win, so if he won LiLife it would be a third scott win to them. to be honest, scott is just really good at the game and at surviving. he doesn't seek out conflict a lot, tends to stay in his own little area building and surviving, and because of that he usually doesn't engage in a ton of the fighting until later episodes. he's also in a LOT of series & events (cough mcc cough) and he's just good at Minecraft. traffic!scott as a character does not want to play the game, isn't trying to win, and he is kind. but also, yes, cc!scott does not want to win this game. he gets ENOUGH hate for winning mcc, and the amount of hate and negativity certain groups would give him for winning a third season in a row would be AWFUL. also i'm sure he (cc!) wants to give his friends a chance to win, because he's a nice person. but there is DEFINITELY that element of if he had won twitter would be FURIOUS.

YEAH!!! if you want to watch more scott i am here for infodumping hes one of my favorite youtubers genuinely and i love his videos and everything he does. also yeah i like seeing my guy win!! its fun when that happens. and i'm glad you think i've got martyn down because i am definitely not very confident in my characterization of him.

[fili-urzudel]

Infodump

Whoops it looks like my threat to infodump backfired lol

I wanna let you guys get to know me without compromising my personal information online so if this seems vague in weird spots that's why.

Name: well I just looked through my several Name notes and saw the name Maewyn (the name of my future daughter in Stardew Valley lol) and I like that so why not, if you need to refer to me call me Maewyn or Mae.

Family: I live with my parents and sister, all of whom I adore! I'm the eldest child. We got our first dog when I was 12 and he's still with us.

Favorite Color: Purple. It's pretty and I look good in it ngl. I prefer more blue-tinted shades like indigo or periwinkle.

Favorite flower: it's insanely hard to choose! Botanical gardens and hikes through parks are some of my favorite activities and oh my goodness the pretty plants you see in those places. I might just have to say roses because I have three bushes of my own in the front garden that I tend to every summer and fall.

Favorite Animal: Elephants! I have reasons but I'm not going to articulate that right now sorry

Favorite metal: I'm not a very jewelry oriented person, mostly because of my eczema, but I own mostly silver jewelry.

Favorite stone: once again hard to choose, they're all so pretty. Opal is magnificent, but my only problem with it is it's so soft, so as a practical person who prefers day-to-day wear, it's not the best stone for me.

Zodiac (just in case you were thinking of asking): All I know is I'm a Scorpio.

Hogwarts House: I took the Pottermore quiz in fifth grade and got assigned Ravenclaw so that's what I'm sticking to. Not knowing anything about Harry Potter, I think I'm a Ravenclaw with Hufflepuff tendencies, or vice versa.

Favorite thing to study: I am a student of a lot of things so it's hard to choose, I think every subject has its charm. I love reading and thinking about themes and creative writing (obviously) but I couldn't see doing that for a living because I fear I either wouldn't be motivated enough or having to make money off of something artistic would take the joy out of it. I'm studying Computer Science, and it's very interesting. Biology and Anatomy are super cool as well, but once again I don't think I'm suited to the life of a researcher or a doctor.

Hopes and dreams: just to be a well-adjusted and kind person. I want to be the person that people are drawn to and feel like they can trust, the kind of person where "my door is always open" is a reliable statement. I'm a very shy and quiet person, and maybe not necessarily super emotive, so I feel like at the moment it's a bit hard for people to believe that I care or I'm someone who could care, even though I do, very deeply. Literally my personality goals are Peeta Mellark, Beth March, Samwise Gamgee, and I think my faith plays a lot into that.

Other Fandoms: Star Wars (esp. the Prequels and cartoons) and Star Trek for sure!! I have another sideblog dedicated to that. I'm watching ST:TOS right now and it is so unbelievably fun. I used to be a Marvel fan. I'm still a hardcore Spider-man fan (all media fr fr). I play Stardew Valley, a little Palia but just for the graphics if I'm honest. Uhhh I'm blanking right now so that must mean those are the really important ones.

Fun facts:

I need all four wisdom teeth removed and either braces or Invisalign in the next few years, along with a not-so-purely-cosmetic periodontal surgery.

I downloaded Goodreads maybe three weeks ago and I have 229 books on my Want to Read list.

I skipped all of my high school English classes through Dual Enrollment.

When I clean my room I clean clean but I only do it once every one or two months, and in between it kind of turns into a disaster zone.

I'm gonna get my hair cut from 18 inches to 4-6 inches in a couple months and I'm nervous and excited at the same time.

I want to make myself a capsule wardrobe soon.

I crochet and as soon as I have a little more free time I'm going to teach myself to knit. After that probably quilting, even though I suck at sewing.

I interviewed someone about his beard today.

I'm watching The Vow with my family right now when I probably should be working on my physics.

And if you know me irl, these fun facts will probably let you piece together that it's me running this blog.

That concludes this evening's infodump, I hope you enjoyed.

[llycaons]

ep18 (1/2): in which wwx manipulates and lies to his friends and family (lovingly)

forgot this. he can just fly around catching birds. no wonder it's so easy to camp

I feel like birthdays really only crop up in american tv in the context of little kids. it's something children do.

xy twirling his hair as he walks away 😭 can your believe ppl still ship them after he murdered SL's entire family

this was such a good change for the show to make bc 1. this introduces the idea of bssr really naturally and 2. it gives wwx another interaction with SL, which is emotionally significant later for both us and the characters

also they need to slip in his backstory and all of its parallels to wx somehow and waiting until yi city is way too late

oh cool I love a t/n

wwx making it a mystical quest bound in ceremony and ritual to prevent jc from suspecting or asking too many questions, and to control his actions. ugh

that post abt jc hero-worshipping wwx continues to baffle me. in fact this is the only time we ever see jc so eager to follow wwx's directions and do what he says

'let her do anything' she is a grown woman she can gather herbs if she wants and what authority do you have to stop her 😭

this smile after he convinces jc about his plan is so haunting. you can see he's sxcited and then the smile fades and he just looks...resigned? fucking misery

yanqing warriors! when wwx mentions jyl leaving soon, wen qing freezes and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. what can it mean hmm?

I don't think jc would have accepted the core if he knew what wwx planned, which is why wwx kept it secret. one of the reasons

this is kind of manipulative no? not in a way to hurt her just to get her to agree with his plan. and maybe he means it too. maybe he would have done with without the debt of the jiangs held over his head. we'll never know

drugging you sister. sir!

I think it's really funny when wwx insults jc sorry I always will. he deserves to at least a little

first shot of wwx looking like a little mousie with his threabare pillow and jc a raging little brat. very similar to the first shot of the show! wwx bleeding and suicidal, and jc stalking over to finish the job. but in that scene and this one, we see there's more to the story

im going to fucking isekai myself into cql universe for the sole purpose of cuddling this child

you know I was so excited for jfm to say that. like go jfm! the haters were wrong about you! you love and protect at least one child under your care!

and then it IMMEDIATELY cuts to wwx hours later freezing because jfm told him 'jc is a good kid' and then he LEFT HIM THERE AND WENT TO BED

FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM. USELESS BASTARD. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM HERE

ugh it's not cool to hate on a 9 year old esp since he's lonely and neglected by his dad but he's such a brat

her parents and sect are so useless this preteen girl has to go out into the woods at like 1 am to find her new brother

wwx's first instinct was to find a tree to climb. dogs can't climb trees, but how many trees were in yiling for him to learn to climb? hmm

wwx falling is such a theme and jyl being the only one besides lwj to ever try to catch him....ough. his two lights indeed

jyl also actually explains why jc is upset rather than just telling him he'll be fine

HALF A DAY??!! hasn't he suffered enough. mein gott

and of course now she has to parent her two baby brothers one of whom is very traumatized and newly adopted and the other is very socially inept and clumsy so he came out to help and now he's BLEEDING. if I was her I would have carried so much resentment as an adult oops her parents are dead so I guess she can't even if she wanted to

YOU WILL SAY IT CRYING SOMEDAY

it's significant that (iirc) jc never says he's sorry in the main timeline. only twice in the story - here and at the very end. a lot of people consider the finale the end of their relationship, but I prefer to see it as a reset. a renewal. they're starting again. jc is crying and he's sorry for hurting wwx, and wwx forgives him because he's a nice kid and because he does care about him. and they can start from there, even if things will be different

they don't have jyl anymore, but everything's come out between them. they can coexist on equal footing. wwx has someone who protects him. jc doesn't resent him so much. all his anger is spent. he feels bad. they won't be what they were before, but I like to think they'll at least have some of the brotherhood they once did

jc also crying in his sleep with this flashback. lot of sleep crying these days

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Someone gift me baby karasu with a bow that’s the only thing I’ll ever reply with when people ask me what I want LMAOO

I def wanna see them pro but something about seeing the pro would also feel bittersweet to me somehow?? Idk like now that they’re pro we KNOW it’s over but errrr idk I don’t have a better solution HAHA im ngl I was into kuroko no basket for awhile but it was way after it ended and I almost died with how the fandom was kinda inactive and lack of content im just glad that since BLLK is ongoing now it won’t be as barren lolol

I would tell you to search it up but you’re gonna wanna burn your eyes after…I only heard of it via booktok (Idek how I landed there because I don’t rlly read that much now either nor do I interact or follow any book accs? Thank god I’m out now I wonder if maybe some ppl just went viral) but oh my god why would you think of writing such a thing??? I honestly don’t have an issue with dark content either since I think it allows more exploration of deeper topics sometimes but idek the door and pillow thing wasn’t even dark topic it’s just..??? ???????? ????? I don’t know what to say but you’re on the dot with weird smut

Im hopeful that s2 will def get things going again!!! Like pls fill up Ao3 too like why’s there nothing there.

You’re so right….a very good choice on your end LMAO he def doesn’t fit the arranged marriage trope as well and his canon ninja background was the perfect set up for this!!!

OOOO IM EXCITED LMAOAOA can’t wait to see tabieitaken hollyhock au style…

OOOOOO WAIT THATS SO COOL?!?! On my toes waiting for the next installment o7 (also for whatever reason I think it’s so funny when people go [redacted] I laughed so hard maybe my humors broken)

Oops I meant the cursed child trope in the sense that everyone (or those around them) believe in it LMAOAO I think it’s more interesting when people around them buy into that myth and make their life hard as opposed to just flat out actual misfortune whoopsie

KARASU APPEARANCE no because I was thinking too like…is Mira gonna add Karasu…or are we omitting for the sake of keeping karasu a main lead type of thing…LMAO can’t wait though!!!

-Karasu anon

BABY KARASU W A BOW all i want for christmas is HIM!! he’s just a princess fr i love him sm

watching a fandom slowly die after the source material ends is the WORST at least the anime/epinagi are much further behind from the main manga so it’ll be a while before it’s over!! some series do stay generally popular even afterwards so hopefully bllk is one of those 👆🏻

HELP I JUST LOOKED UP THE PILLOW ONE WTF 😭 that’s not even dark that’s just bizarre…where are these people getting their ideas from 😔

i feel like jjk also blew up heavily with season 2 coming out (although tbf it was already hugely popular) so i think (hope) bllk will be the same!! obv not to the same extent as jjk because whatever is going on there is like unprecedented levels of popularity but for sure i do think more people will get into it now that more characters will be there and there’ll be more content

YES like otoya being a lord or highborn just doesn’t have the right ring to it!! he’s too unserious i could not see him being dignified or dutiful esp not in an arranged marriage scenario where he doesn’t even care abt his wife that much. karasu or yukimiya 100% (more so yuki but karasu could make it work i think). ninjas tended to be lowborn/peasants too so it’ll be interesting to juxtapose him and y/n + show him interacting with a lot of the characters who ARE more noble (y/n, yuki, etc).

TABIEITAKEN HOLLYHOCK AU MY FAVORITE MORALLY GREY ASSHOLES 💖 there is not one good person in that fic (except maybe anri) just some characters you do root for and some you don’t HAHA i’m excited for all of the reveals and character development i think it’s going to be sooo fun

YESS it’ll be clearer once i finish the story where i got my inspiration from. i love drawing from history as an inspiration!! like ofc i’m not going to go word for word but it’s nice to have something that i can reference if needed and build my own plot off of. i def think it makes hollyhock unique…like a) it’s a fic w OTOYA as the main love interest (not the usual suspects itoshi bros) and also it’s set in a relatively unusual setting + is engaging with a generally overlooked aspect of that time period. like forget being a weak lady who falls in love w her arranged marriage husband 🥱 y/n is scheming plotting killing etc etc (or at least she will be eventually). i love mcs who are just a little Not Normal and i really think this y/n is like that!! as shown when she was completely willing to sacrifice her half brother if it meant living. like yes 100% he’s an ass but also girl that’s still an entire life you do NOT gaf abt 😭 omg and otoya when he heard her say that…bro realized he had finally found someone to match his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 💖 truly the otp we all never needed

ooh yes i do think y/n is a victim of that trope while she’s staying w the hiiragis!! although as much of it is just them hating on her because they hate that she’s such an embarrassment to them…i’m excited to show how other characters (otoya and co) react to the circumstances that make the hiiragis hate her!! it’ll def be interesting (and also a lot of it is based in actual japanese mythology/tradition…despite my disclaimer i actually do enjoy researching and sprinkling in details like that!! i just had that in there in case some historian type of person came to my comments freaking out abt how something or another isn’t accurate 😭)

i feel like karasu HAS to be there HAHAHA it truly wouldn’t be otoya if his bestie isn’t present especially since yuki exists in-universe too!! he’s also going to be super important to the story but it will break my heart knowing that things w him will never be romantic 😔 though honestly “romantic” is a stretch even for y/n’s eventual relationship w eita 😰 it will be intense and passionate and pining and many other such things but unfortunately with all of the political nonsense they’re up to (unifying the warring states and whatnot) there won’t be too much time for a healthy proper relationship. long story short expect a slow burn 😈

ALSO BTW I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE INVESTED IN THE STORY writing fics for random characters is sooo hard sometimes because there’s usually not a lot of engagement/feedback 🤒 as long as i have even one reader who likes to yap w me i can usually manage it though so i am very grateful for you bae 🫶🏻 doing the otoya nation a great service

[goldenhypen]

okay

1. i was around 12? and i gave a reason abt wanting to focus on school (which was a lie bc back then i was acing my tests with or without having gigs.) in reality, i didn't feel appreciation and also no vocal lessons/exercises so of course i'm not going to sound as desirable as people wanted

2. oh i think i know one member? was he on boys planet? and if i'm correct, he has a twin🤔

3. okay, just how i described my vocal colors (or lack thereof) that is how i talk abt a bias, let's say. i used to write on fancafe but haven't for months now. i used to get the thrill of my letter being read by a bias. you can type out your letter but me being me, i designed and handwrote letters just to take a picture and post it there. i tend to get.. poetic?

4. i work an office job. calling (up) clients, verifying documents, doing statistics (my least favorite math subject and something i would rather not do bc it tends to get exhausting counting and counting. i don't have anything against it, it just is not something for me. and it's no fun when your coworkers treat you like you'll fail after every given task or 0.02 seconds after you are given a task and you might not ever be seen as your friendly neighborhood sweetheart (no hard feelings) but i don't mind coming off as mysterious or rebellious to them

-🧶

ah i see. that’s understandable

haha yes i think you’re talking about kamden haha but i believe 2 or more of them were on boys planet (ik there’s brian too) but kamden was def the most popular hahaha

ahhh i get that. no but that’s rlly cool tho i honestly love that

awww :( even tho i’m not in the exact same situation i can def relate to you on that on some level. like im doing web design rn and there’s aspects of it i like but parts of it are so technical that it doesn’t allow me to be fully creative yk? like i enjoy it but its not exactly my favourite or my dream job like how i thought it would be. also your coworkers treating you like that 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 omg that’s so rude i hate that sm. honestly hoping you get better coworkers soon ugh i feel that tho cuz sometimes im discriminated against,, not cuz im a woman, not cuz of my race, but cuz of my age :/ which ig i can understand their perspective but i just wish they’d give me a chance sometimes yk?? also coming off as mysterious/rebellious to them haha i honestly love that. you dont have to be nice to them or reveal all your cards. ESP when they treat you like that omg

[v2xe]

i got too carried away and ended up hitting the tag limit 🫠 hope it's alright if i just put this here instead

#SDJFGSDFNM asgsdfasd AGSDF GURGLES LIKE IM CHOKING ON MOUTHWASH FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD#I CANT BELOIEVE IM ONLY SEEING THIS FIVE DAYS AFTER IT WAS POSTED good lird#see i understand why there would be a split in the fandom abt this bc there is also a split in tumblr user v2xe#when i first played my reading was that sarah and jack's relationship was INTENDED to be portrayed as romantic#only the writers kind of expected them sharing some friendly lines + jack being the protag and sarah#being the princess would be enough for the audience to go “ah yes. romance”#and that the tragic and borderline romantic subtext jack has w astos was just incidental in the way it happens when writers#accidentally end up developing male characters and their relationships more than female ones#esp since se's games' track record w this is…….not great#(<-she is haunted by secondhand accounts from the tranches of ff16's writing)#and tbh i was ready to just assume this was my own little interpretation where it isn't that deep but it could be. and i could just build#myself a fun little sandbox in the hole i dug where the story could have expanded certain themes further but didn't#but after reading that one interview where the writers were like "maybe sarah was in love with him maybe she was just infatuated with what

#he represented" i turned into one of those shitty gore stick figures because what the fuck!! the writing agrees??#which meshes perfectly w her being sheltered which!! while i thought abt it i never really went into it like this and it makes!! sense!!#& a the same time yeah!! sarah IS a symbol. which having played ff1 i think was a cool way to go about expanding her role from that gam#oh so she's a symbol? she's a reward? the motivator that pulls you along to start your journey? ok fine then. i'll give you a Symbol#and if you asked me i think jack genuinely cared/s(?) about her (just not in a romantic sense)#and unlike other things i say here i can say w 100% confidence that the writers wanted us to notice he cares#like it always fascinated me how in the jp version jack's speech patterns change DRASTICALLY whenever he's speaking to sarah#idk much japanese but the formal/respectful way he spoke stood out massively compared to his usual form of speech#i get that this could be harder to portray in english without seeming unnatural but i'm sad they didn't include this tbh#bc we don't see him talk to ANYONE like this in the game i believe- not the king or queen not astos not anyone#they WANTED you to notice. they put a big neon sign pointing at jack and sarah there's SOMETHING important here#(tangent for some reason the spanish version got this backwards and it's ash and jed who address sarah formally while jack speaks in the same blunt manner...but that#version was so rushed it still has placeholder text in the script so i woulnt put too much faith in it having like…authorial intent lmao)

#& in general there are some very slight differences between the eng and jp ver that imo carry v different implications?#like how in eng jack just kinda sounds annoyed at sarah's request and his “of course” comes across as exasperated and sarcastic rather than#genuinely polite- which makes the scene of him tapping his foot seem like an intentional gesture of “stfu already” rather than “desperately#trying to contain the wave pure compulsive rage that drives me for 2 minutes so i can be polite to this girl" yknow? #anyway what i mean is that its interesting how his affection for sarah was also "weaponized" for the plan like the one he has for his friends #and yet sarah's role is more as a symbol than an emotional catalyst? to me at least-& i keep wondering WHY it's diff for her in particular #&it's not bc she was WRITTEN poorly i feel-if the writers did fall for that kind of trap we wouldn't have sophia or neon imo #it almost feels like theres all these conspicuous arrow signs pointing at something but i cant fucking see what it is??

#but after reading this i can see how that was kinda the point i think #at the end of the day this is jack's story. and us experiencing everything from his pov at all times is a big part of why the story works so well #it makes sense he wouldn't care for anyone's emotions or inner thoughts until it's too late- therefore the game doesn't show them #& sadly that includes sarah and what's going through her head #bc i kind of wish we couldve seen more of it- what was she thinking as she died? what did she feel? was it clean and straightfoward? #hope? despair? sadness? nothing at all? too many things at once? did she feel betrayed as she remembered? did she feel resentment for the #one man who could change her world by watching her die? how was she any different from the organic reconoissance unit Iving dead in a floati #-ng island somewhere surrounded by dead bats and FUCK I haven't even talked about astos yet #it's a tragedy that despite them having canonically interacted multiple times we never get to hear any of it :(( #tho i have to put a big * on all this because i know that this could very much be me critiquing the game on what i WISH it did #rather than on how it archieved what it was actually trying to do #imo sarah has the markings of god's little lamb(symbol of hope) most likely to be slaughtered #dare i say final fantasy's very own anthy himemiya #there's something about a character whose purpose is to essentially be a symbol #and who is also a sheltered young woman whose hopefulness is not a flaw but who is perhaps too idealistic for her own good that really intrigues me!! #and from that view i like how you can see her unwavering idealism as sheltered naivety or as something good and celebrated(? in the narrative #anyway sarah both as a character and how she fits into jack's story leave so so much room for fun stuff and i really appreciate that #in a better world i think they would have a lovely friendship

#ok running out of power now so ill stop and hope this doesnt read like gibberish or realize i missed sth if i reread it in the morning #i am so so sorry for the wall of tags none of this has much of a throughline this is just thought vomit bc this post made me Think #by which i mean this post is rearranging my brain and activating neural pathways i didn't even know i had rn #& in all seriousness im so so so glad i saw this!! even if i wish i had done it sooner!! its great to read someone's thoughts like this <33

"You Never Forget Your First Love."

The other day, a mutual (hi! you know who you are I think probably hello hi! thank you for the Posting Impetus!) said something that made me curious (for, like, the 80th time, actually; lol. I Have Thoughts) about something: what's the split on people who subscribe to the "Stranger of Paradise probably intended for us to believe that Jack & Sarah were in love" mindset, vs. not? In general, but ESPECIALLY around these parts.

I genuinely didn't read it that way myself (& I do NOT normally give media (general) this much credit, but the writing in this game is sublime; I had no choice but to fully engage Scholar Mode on it), + I think it's interesting that SPECIFICALLY any of my fellow tumblr people / AO3-heads / Gay People Online / etc. seem to have. (I expect nothing from people who haven't been basting themselves in the same online sub-subcultures as me for over a decade. They're allowed to write wrong things on wikis, and have done so already; it's whatever.)

I wanna metapost badly again, so let's go. Join me. No poll. If you have an opinion on this, I'm looking directly into your eyes and beckoning you towards your own keyboard + also the reblog button / comment section, like a weird ghost. What did you think when you first played the game?? What do you think right now? What are you about to think after you have read a bunch of my words. Tell Me. I Need To Know This.

Spoilers for, idk, everything? Today we will use everything we've got to talk about Princess Sarah.

1. As a Narrative Element

This game makes a point of referring to Sarah as things like "a symbol of hope and peace" as often as possible, & when it isn't doing that she's usually in the role of An Object Or Device Of Some Kind, anyway. She's important because she's capable of holding light and dark in balance & SOMEONE'S gotta hold onto this dark crystal for safekeeping, and also we're gonna need to upset that balance on purpose later. There's that conversation in the Wicked Arbor about whether the Strangers would "choose" her (as opposed to "treasure") as the "reward" for succeeding in their mission[1], & there's the one in the Sunken Shrine where Jed asks Jack what he thinks of her and Jack says that he doesn't care about her as a person[2] BUT that protecting her is mission-critical (lol), too.

Sarah's death is metaphorically charged. It's the point of no return: the dark crystal breaks, the balance of light & dark gets extremely ruined, & Literally All The Darkness In Cornelia converges in one place (Fool's Missive XXVII). That's the payoff for the "symbol of hope and peace" motif, and communicating this idea that "the metaphorical light of hope just For Real Died, Like Catastrophically Imploded, No Take-Backs" feels to me like it was the highest priority here. Second-highest goes to "Jack had way more humanity before, but he set it aside on purpose and is actively in the middle of losing the rest of it." "Sort of." "I'm not getting into what counts as humanity or doesn't because if I did we would be here forever."

Basically, I'm saying that the tidiest read on the situation is "Jack despairs because Sarah dying means in a very literary and final way that everything is ruined forever, which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with, like, Love (romantic)." I don't think the text of the game is particularly signaling that Love (romantic) is involved, and I think that if it meant to, it would be more obvious about it. You could bundle "an romance" into the "humanity" thing if you wanted to, but I'm not inclined to, based on some additional list items that you can read below this one.

[1] The fact that Neon ALSO says she feels bad for her for being thought of in this way only reinforces my conviction that the game is pointing at Sarah & yelling "REMEMBER THAT SHE IS MOSTLY A SYMBOL!", tbh. Who wants to go point out how freaky the mechanics of Being An Royalty are w/ me and the boys??

[2] I will give the Wiki WrongPosters this: I can totally see this as some kind of irony thing, given that he's still missing like a fucktillion of his memories when he says it. However! As mentioned above, I have other reasons not to read it as evidence that he was ever, like, romantically interested in her.

2. As a Sheltered Youth™

We don't have a TON of information to work with RE: Sarah as, like, a person, but here are a couple of hard facts to start with: she's 19 (per the data book, but she'd have to be somewhere in the 18-to-early-20's age range regardless or her whole deal wouldn't really make much sense, imo. She's a baby...!), and she's royalty. I think this ties into her utility as a walking metaphor, among other things; she's archetypically young, fresh, & idealistic. I'd call her naïve but the game obviously isn't interested in portraying it as a weakness, so positive words only; why not.

You could argue that people look to her as a symbol of hope because she hasn't directly experienced enough strife to exhibit hopelessness or fear in response to bad news in the abstract. I find it interesting that before Jack, like, knocks the wind out of her & tells Sophia to take her outside so she can see for herself how bad things have gotten at the end of the game, she says that her duty is to die with her people if she has to, & it doesn't even seem to occur to her that she could lead at least some of them away to safety...? When she changes her mind, she still talks about herself as a symbol before she ever uses the word "leader". She sees HERSELF in terms of symbols and metaphors, and takes action based on her designated role As One Of Those. Not very practical.

There's also the dialogue you can have with the queen the first time you're allowed to run around in the throne room at the beginning of the game, where she asks Jack to smile in front of her daughters (NOT just Mia; daughters, plural). Even if she only means "dude can you be polite please," the fact that this is The thing she has to say to Jack is telling. Is it going to upset your 19-year-old daughter to see that the Guy Whose Job It Is To Kill Monsters looks serious? Why do you think this? Does your 19-year-old daughter understand how serious the situation is, generally speaking? Do you not WANT her to for some reason? Boats don't work anymore unless a weird elf messes with them first. Not thinking very hard about the implications of this is something a sheltered person does.

Residual time loop un-memories aside, a young woman in this situation is so obviously going to have a huge crush on Jack Garland no matter what. He Is So Cool, first of all, & he's also Different from the adult men she gets to see on an everyday basis (family, guards, rando townspeople[3]...). It's not like the political social scene could POSSIBLY be thriving in this world, either; it all seems to be one kingdom we're dealing with and they're kind of busy with the external threat of being Under Fucking Attack By Monsters. Does she even get fun treats like "handsome visiting dignitaries" & what-have-you? The game doesn't present us with any potential options, here. Jack is mysterious, he has special-boy Warrior of Light status, his one job & apparent life's purpose is protecting the kingdom she loves, he's pretty nice to her (even in later cycles he at least goes out of his way to be polite!), & additionally, he's shredded. THIS makes sense to me.

There's a Q&A in the data book that has something to say about JACK as a symbol & what that has to do with this whole thing but we'll get there. We'll get there.

[3] Tangent: what's up with how Cornelia's entire adult male population appears to consist of aging queens. Why did they only make models that look Like That for the NPCs? It's awesome but I have 1 quastion

3. JACK JUMPSCARE !

I'm not about to say that he's just humoring her, or anything, but please humor ME for one second & put yourself in Jack's shoes. Not the default shoes; we can have more fun than that. Maybe the Banded Boots. Blurple ones? Shaped like a cartoon would wear them? Big spikes on the back for no reason? I love those things. Anyway, you're Jack. You're working for literally the king, & the work means Everything to you for reasons you can't even necessarily explain except to say that it JUST does. The king's eldest daughter (very young adult; Never Been Outdoors; a little overly-sociable but nice enough & what do you expect from a princess, anyway) has imprinted on you like a duckling for whatever reason. You would be nice to this person, yes? You'd be patient with her while you're in town. You have Brutal Murders to be doing, but not until, like, 2 days from now, or whatever; you're sharing space with her in some capacity in the meantime & it's in your best interests to keep her happy. (You probably even enjoy doing this, if you're Jack of a Way Earlier Cycle; I'm in no way ruling that out. Sharing your music collection with an enthusiastic Baby Adult? That's fun. I think he was probably having fun. Okay, you can step out of the fun purple shoes if you want; the Humoring Me Minute has concluded; thanks.)

Also, @2000sanimeop and I think that if Jack felt that way about her Astos would have been a little More Something about how much it was gonna suck for him when she died. In Fool's Missive XXVII he uses the word "painful," but that's about it. He doesn't even bring it up in XXV, which is the one where he says he's curious about whether she'd survive being turned into a fiend (side note: Astos fucking rocks. Why did he write that down?? I love him). & Hey SPEAKING OF ASTOS,

4. I wouldn't put Jackstos on a wiki, either.

The writing in Stranger of Paradise, SERIOUSLY, WITHOUT EXAGGERATION, is some of the best I've seen in literally anything ever. It suits not just its medium but also its sort of Place in History Relative to Other Video Games & the things it chose to DO with that medium & that niche INSANELY well. It is CUSTOMIZED. It's SO INTENTIONAL. I can't get too far into this or we'll be here all day, but the essence of what I want to say here is: there are relatively few facts presented to us by this game, compared to the implications we can go about drawing from those facts & other, external sources of context.

Sarah calls Jack her first love; that's a fact. No facts are presented to us that REALLY say much one way or the other[4] about what Jack thinks of this, himself; "fucktillion memories missing" Jack says he doesn't care, but he's missing a fucktillion of his memories, and DLC2 Jack has a set of dialogue options (hi Anne the Malboro I love you Anne the Malboro) that can point either way depending on what the player chooses, which is kind of nothing, on balance. As the audience, we can (should!) draw whatever conclusion we want about it, but none of those conclusions are text.

[4] I WILL GET TO THE DATA BOOK IN ONE SECOND. HOLD ON.

And, okay, please let me level with you. Let's be on the same page. Jack & Astos had some kind of thing going on, imo, OBVIOUSLY, but I want to be CLEAR and I want to get CREDIT for the things I'M bringing to the table to help generate this conviction. I drew that conclusion & I read that reading based on subtext, context, personal history, personal preference, & sheer gay zest for life. It is also, emphatically, NOT TEXT.

Astos refers to Jack with the ol' "...friend" in Fool's Missive XXI. He calls him "my Jack" in Fool's Missive XXXI. Canonically, textually, he has some big fucking COMPLICATED fucking feelings about this man. These are facts. If you're playing this game as Some Guy, I can see how you could potentially absorb these facts & still pay them much less regard[5] than I did & continue to. My argument here is that god I wish I lived in a world where Some Guy could extend the same courtesy to me and not treat Sarah's textual affection for Jack as something that necessarily indicates Some Kind Of Reciprocal Romantic Whatever, Definitely, Obviously, Of Course.

[5] Longer Tangent: I have been informed that the Some Guys of the world are currently pretty good at Recognizing a character that behaves in a way that's Pretty Gay, but tend to stop there, possibly for the combined reasons that A. they're not very familiar with a lot of the the ways gay relationships often work (you know, soul resonance. mutual recognition. sharing a brain etc.) and B. the Object Of Affection is usually the player character and they subconsciously shy away from thinking of a Guy They're Supposed To Identify With as gay. This is practically a lead-in to an entire separate post I could make, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

The writing is too good for that kind of assumption! I'M SERIOUS!! It's mind-blowingly subtle & endlessly fascinating to hold up to the light & view from every possible angle, and "Jack & Sarah were in love" + "Jack & Astos were in love" are BOTH ANGLES. I'm personally very very interested in giving the text credit for that. I think it's impressive. I think it's really, really cool, and I think it was on purpose. Speaking of which,

5. Word of God agrees with me, btw

This is from the Q&A section on page 156 of the Confidential File. The translations below are my own (I think they're straightforward enough, but lmk if you know more than me & I'm actually being stupid in there somewhere. Alt text has the JPN, if you want to copypaste it or something). Someone asked:

Why is it that you established Garland as someone Sarah has a romantic interest in?

The answer is from Daisuke Inoue (director, one of 3; the other 2 are from Team Ninja; he's from Square Enix):

That was because, from a narrative standpoint, we wanted Sarah to be the kind of person who holds onto hope. You can imagine that she saw the "hope" to save the world in Jack, a potential Warrior of Light. Sarah is seen by her people as a symbol of a bright future, but if there were nobody to give her hope, that might destabilize her emotionally. As for whether she felt genuine love for Jack, or just mistook her feelings of admiration towards him for "first love," we'll leave that to your interpretation.

The first time I read this, I thought the question was implying the aforementioned Reciprocal Something, but on closer inspection that doesn't even seem to be true! "思い人" seems to indicate a directional relationship; as in, the question assumes that Jack is an object of affection to Sarah, but assumes nothing about what Jack thinks.

Also, the answer uses the word "初恋" (hatsukoi), which is a very established Concept as far as "first love" goes, but in that one cutscene, Sarah says "初めての恋" (hajimete no koi), which is. Different, but I couldn't tell you how, lol. It's Not The Exact Same Phrase, but I'm not sure whether it's meaningfully different in this context. If I had to guess, I'd say that IF ANYTHING it could be a way of saying "first love" without invoking the cultural CONSTRUCT of First Love (as much)? But it's whatever. The localization holds up. All sources show that Sarah had Feelings about Jack, and all sources CONSPICUOUSLY neglect to mention Jack's feelings about her.

It was on purpose. This is my license to be as annoying as I want for one second here. I am right. All the other writing in this game is notably subtle, efficient, intentional, and skilled, AND ALSO, WHEN do you ever see anyone write such a richly beautiful, mostly-subtextual relationship between two men, which can easily be read as a romantic thing, and NOT explicitly canonize a very possible romantic relationship between at least one of those men and a woman, like not even in an interview or anything. What the fuck, man.

I'm putting away the Respectable Scholar Hat now. This is so funny. The person asking this question didn't EVEN go as far as assuming Jack & Sarah had any kind of Actual Romance going on, & the answer STILL dials it back to "she might have been conflating her feelings about Jack AS A SYMBOL with actual affection, also. We'll let you decide : ) ". This game is everything ever.