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acioo · 4 years

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anybody who knows anything about me will be able to tell you i spend a bunch of my time ice skating & i’ve never seen a guide on how to write a character that figure skates , so i thought i’d compile some tips & explain things , because my whole childhood i was travelling across the country to spin on ice with nothing on but a leotard & some tights , and now i have nothing but a bunch of tacky costumes and this post to show for it . this is pretty in-depth , about 2.5k words , but if you have any questions about specific aspects or want me to clarify anything , feel free to shoot me an ask . oh & a like or reblog if you found this helpful would be sweet ! tw : injury, mental illness, eating disorders

most people that wind up as figure skaters started ridiculously young. i was probably six, but at my rink, we train kids as young as four and five. if your character has competed professionally at a state-wide level or up, they most likely started super young and have been professionally trained. figure skating is not a sport that you can do casually, most of the time. ice skating, casually, however, totally different thing. but competitive figure skating, being on a figure skating team, and the like, it’s a lot of effort, time, and discipline. in a lot of families, it’s a tradition to teach your kids to ice skate. at my rink, there’s a lot of people who come from slavic families whose parents signed them up - or athlete parents in gen. so, if your character is SUPER GOOD, they’ve put hundreds of hours of work into it, and have years of practice. it is not something you can pick up in a day, and i’d even say you have to be at it for at least two years before you get good good, and it takes a while to even become comfortable on the ice before you can start to do any kind of trick - THAT is why they start young, so by the time we’re pre-teens, we’re really, really good. the problem happens, famously, at puberty, because your balance gets knocked off, your bones are growing, and you have to basically relearn everything you know.

there are so many different types of figure skating. i specialize in singles, but i’ve done showcase and solo dance ( but both of those skills are more for me to be a well-rounded skater, not for competing ), and would sometimes be put into pairs to help learn skills and work together. you NEED to be in one of these categories for competition because they are what all comps are based upon. singles is, as you think, one single ice skater individually doing their routine. singles will do various dances, jumps, spins, etc. i won't lie, it’s hard, and really, really competitive. singles is the most competitive of all these categories. it’s usually a short program ( jumping, spinning, steps - the easier portion of competition because it’s really just a routine that you need to get down pat so you can boost your score. you will learn to do it in your sleep. ) and then a free skate ( longer than the other, it’s more complicated and difficult ). pair skating is really, really difficult, tbh, and you need a good relationship with whoever you are doing it with because there’s a lot of trust involved. it’s hard to break into pair skating because you need a partner that you’re equal to in skill and you like as a person. you guys spend a lot of time together and you need to get along. you guys need to be equally proficient at ice skating. most pairs get put together when they’re still very young. it’s very difficult to from singles to becoming a pair skater. it’s two skaters and they skate around each other, they lift each other, and move in synchronized patterns. it’s highly technical, like all figure skating, but it is more difficult because you have to keep in mind both your own feet and someone else’s. you do NOT want to bump skates with someone. at best, that is very uncomfortable. at usual/worse, you’re both about to eat shit on ice. in pair skating the partner that lifts needs SO much strength. like, so much. i’ve tried to lift fellow skaters, who are the same weight as me, and it’s near fucking impossible for me. ice skates are HEAVY and skaters have a lot of lower body muscle. we are not light people. for example, once time my team and i were out of practice and just skating around and we started playing around and i did a cartwheel on ice and i fell very hard. wiped tf out. and that’s me, trying to handle my own weight. like singles, it’s a free skate and a short program. pair skating is typically male + female ( what a sad world, i know ), but i encourage every writer to take some suspending of reality. ice dance is, basically, dancing. it’s a lot more performative than other types of skating. it’s done in pairs, but can be performed alone, in a different category called solo dance. in the nicest way possible, singles/pair skaters usually look down a bit on ice dancers because it’s a bit less technical, and doesn’t have any jumps of lifts. but ! that doesn’t mean it’s easy because it’s not. it’s rooted in ballroom dancing and they have two parts of competition: rhythm dance and free dance. fun fact: pair ice dancers scott moir and tessa virtue, who are famous to be suspected dating, are the reason we had a no dating rule at the rink. showcase ice skating is usually for some kind of platform, or in front of a large crowd. i’ve done showcase for investors for our rink. there’s usually costumes involved ( there are costumes for all competitions, but their costumes are more, like, theatre - y ), and props, and acting. it’s actually very fun to watch, but you need acting skill. theatre on ice, however, is just what it sounds like. theatre on ice is popular with children and good for ways to show off an entire team of skaters, because you can have eight to thirty skaters on the ice. they can also compete and they can go international, but they aren’t in the olympics and there aren’t many competitions for them. it’s usually just a fun way to get together with your teammates, bond, and then show off what you did.

so, competitions. super complicated, and as a writer, i suggest really glossing over them, because it’s difficult to get it down completely right. there are nonqualifying and qualifying comps. the difference is that in qualifying competitions, you’re looking to start moving up, basically, so if you qualify in the first one, you go onto the next one, then state eventually, then national, and so on. you start with regionals ( singles ) / sectionals ( pairs and ice dancers ). then, if you succeed, you go to sectional singles / pairs + ice dance finals. the goal is to get on the national team ( i’ve watched ameatur skaters tell other rinkmates they want to compete in the olympics - it was NOT pretty ), basically. which, let me say this. it is nowhere. near. easy. like, just go into youtube and search “ yuzuru hanyu “ ( gold medal in pyeongchang olympics for mens singles ) and watch ANY of his performances. now he’s the gold medalist, right. he started at four years old. so let’s go smaller. google elsa cheng and watch one of her routines. she’s a member of the us national figure skating team. she’s fifteen. YEAH. not an easy sport. nonqualifying is more laid back and for fun, or trophies. nonqualifying is also a way to practice before you enter into qualifying. competitions are really nerve-racking. it’ll cause stress between you and your rinkmates, because more often than not you’re going against one another. you and your coach will usually spend all the prep season creating your two programs, which you will almost always repeat in every single competition you attend. i have about 20 different routines stored in the back of my head. sometimes my coach would give us exercises of coming up with a routine during a time restraint. my friend junior learned a routine that was on yuri on ice.

for competitions you arrive, you get ready. you’re almost always wearing some kind of elaborate costume/dress leotard thingy. this is a time to start getting mentally ready, talk to your friends, and do each other’s hair and makeup. costumes are bought way ahead of time, and are usually related to the theme of your routine. you do NOT want a wardrobe malfunction. it’ll mess you up & you’ll lose precious points. your hair will most likely always be back and, more often than not, braided or in a bun. the comp will begin and you have a practice session so that you can get warmed up and ready. it’s not long. you will get the music for your program played one by one, and you rehearse - this is usually to check to make sure your music is right & to get acclimated to the ice then you get off the ice and another group will warm up. your coach can’t be on the ice whatsoever, and has to stay outside the rink. usually, competition order is done by a random draw. one by one, you will do your routine. no one but you can be on the ice. then you go off to the “ kiss and cry “ ( because you’re either about to celebrate or get your ear chewed off by an adult in a tracksuit ) where your score gets announced. then, competition continues. your warmup + when you start is not based on how you placed in the last part of the comp ( usually started with lowest ) and you perform the second routine. then, and this is usually determined by like how serious the competition you're going to, but there are trophies handed out, a podium ceremony is held, or medals or flowers are given out. my coach would always make the team pose together after competitions and go out to eat - lots of coaches hold bonding exercises esp after comps. if we did well, we could skip our 9 am practice. if we did poorly, the team meets up at a local park and runs the three-mile trail, and then they do technical corrections at the rink. after your medal/etc ceremony, you’re done. sometimes the top people will perform, but by that time you’re usually exhausted and want to sleep for a billion years ( or, if you did really well, you want to go eat 15 ihop pancakes and conquer the world ). the competition season is from august to april. this is a BASE of what happens. it’s different at different kinds of competitions and for different categories of skating, but it’s almost always something like this. offseason is for practice, rest, and fun, basically, but if you're a serious skater, by the time you’re hitting july, you’re spending more time at the rink than at home. the most well-known and the hardest competitions to qualify for are the grand prix, europeans ( european championships ), worlds ( world championships ), and the, of course, olympics.

another aspect of almost any professional sport is injury. think about any ice skating routine you’ve seen. there is no protection. you’re wearing a thin sheer leotard. you have basically knives on your feet. it’s VERY easy to get yourself beat up by ice. the ice is very hard and not very forgiving. meaning, if you hit, you hit hard. you usually are putting a lot of force into it, too, because you’re falling. don’t even get me started on the BRUISING. you will look like you have gone thru something, all the time. ice skates, which have to sharpened routinely, are, as you imagine, SHARP AS FUCK. knife shoes. i’ve been recreationally skating, because i work at a rink, and just monitoring the skaters and usually messing around with my rinkmates, and i fell, and i sliced open my thigh. i didn’t need stitches, or anything, but there was blood everywhere. very gross. ( ask abt this answered here ! ) and i wasn’t even doing anything particularly hard. and this has happened before. they WILL cut you. ankle injuries are super common. i’ve seen someone break their ankle feet away from me. i’ve twisted my left ankle five times. as for dislocations, they also happen a lot. when i was twelve, i was at the top of my figure skating career. i was qualifying to competition after competition. during a regular, normal practice, i was doing a jump i had usually aced, and i landed the wrong way and i dislocated my knee and blacked out. it’s a very disgusting injury and extremely, extremely painful. like, a good 50k in hospital bills for the surgery to fix it. i was very good and it was my favorite activity on the planet, but it was so awful that i quit. when i was fourteen, i started skating again, joined my team, etc, etc, but it was very difficult to recover from. and that’s a very common story. most people get injured and they have to stop. i know a girl who got a bunch of concussions, and wasn’t able to skate. i’ve been concussed on the ice. people tear their acls or their hip. we have a sports medic at all figure skating practices and comps. and a lot of injuries, once you hurt something, you will hurt it again because you made it weak. we are all very flexible but overuse will make your bones brittle. there’s also stress fractures and different things you can get from just overworking your muscles. shin splints, tendonitis, jumpers knee, etc. you name an overuse injury, and i’ve had it. i was one so exhausted after practice that i laid down on the ice and cried until my coach ( who i love very dearly ) gave me a bag of skittles and told me to suck it up. that’s not saying my coach is a bitch ( john mulaney vc my coach is a bitch and i like her so much ), that’s to say there is no break, no stopping. you get better, and move on, or you quit.

as-is with basically any competitive sport, if you get serious, you will probably go onto some sort of diet along with it. you want to be eating a lot of nutritional stuff ( granola bars are HOARDED in my locker room & to this day i gag at the sight of protein shakes ), anything with a lot of calcium ( because we do be breaking bones ! ), and iron. i used to eat pasta before comps ( like wayyy before not an hr or anything ) because it gives you ~energy~. you need to be eating a lot because you’re exercising a lot. gatorade is banned by my coach because it's so much sugar. you need to drink so. much. water. we all take a bunch of vitamins. usually will eat chicken / meat in general. but keep in mind, like any sport in which you are cutting things from your diet / eating specific things / etc, it can easily lead to an unhealthy relationship with food. there’s a lot of shitty mindsets you will encounter with coaches and fellow competitors about what weight a figure skater should be, and it's even worse in pair skating ( because of lifts ). when i was eleven, one of my old coaches told me that she hoped i never hit puberty because it’d fuck up my balance & when i did i cried. a fellow competitor once told me she wished she had my “ figure skater “ body ( and at this point of my life, i had very unhealthy eating habits ). another time a group of older kids made fun of how gangly i was while i was in earshot. the amt of times my coach has SCREAMED at ice skaters for making fun of / putting down fellow ice skaters is astronomical. it’s rough. a lot of figure skaters have opened up about how figure skating caused / contributed to their mental illness. it’s very easy to fall into because of how “ perfect “ you need to be. you can look up various figure skaters stories on this: adam rippon, gracie gold, and yulia vyacheslavovna - a very famous one as it was part of the reason her career ended & she was the youngest ever skating gold medalist. and i will say, personally, my unhealthy relationship with food ( that would eventually lead to lots o problems & i still feel the impact of today ) began when i was figure skating. there are other risk factors for mental illness as well because there’s so much focus on winning / losing. more than once, competitions would give me panic attacks because of the great stress.

another thing is MONEY. as fucked up as it is, you need money, or a grant, if you want to get good. you need expensive skates, costumes, travel fees, and more. my pro figure skates, not my casual ones, cost upwards of 300, and that’s low balling it. when i was ten, my parents spent upwards of 10k on figure skating. there are rink fees, there are competition fees, there are coaching fees. it adds up extremely quickly. i know a lot of skaters who stopped competing because it was just too expensive. i work for my rink by teaching classes and monitoring open skates and additional things, but if i added up every single dollar i ever made, it would be nowhere near enough to pay for everything. but the thing is, if you get really good, you can make money off of competitions, but getting there is the hard part. at one point in my life, my parents were paying $100 an hour for my private coach who i was seeing multiple days a week. figure skaters also oftentimes will take additional classes to help. my coach made the entire junior team take ballet one year. i took a ton of gymnastic classes as well to help with skating.

so, who are the kind of people that ARE figure skaters ? what do we act like ? there’s a lot of stereotypes that figure skaters are cold people. that’s not necessarily true. i would say that we are extremely competitive people. i’ve seen rinkmates get into full-blown fights during competitions. one of my best friends, who i met at my rink once i returned from my hiatus, HATED me because she knew i was competition. we are on-edge. stakes are high and the pressure is on. a lot of us are very perfectionistic because you sort of got to be to get to our level. we can have control issues and we can become easily frustrated if we flop jumps or keep stuttering coming out of a spin. the other stereotype is that we are super delicate little flowers. probably because of the way we have to move. realistically, we’re a tactile bunch of people who would probably wind up hurting someone if we played hockey. ( another stereotype : figure skaters and hockey kids. the closest i’ve gotten to a hockey player is the one time i threatened to quick him in the nads because they came early and insisted we get off the rink. ) we all love skating and have a lot of fun while doing it. it’s dangerous, and that’s part of the thrill. speeding around the rink at extremely high speeds is, honestly, exhilirating. we love our sport and, though we can get on each other's nerves, love our rinkmates. it’s not easy, but it’s our favorite thing to do.

#writing guide #character guide #sport guide #rph #rpt #i wrote this in a shakespearean fury #can u tell i miss my rink : (#i should be doing finals !#ch: axel mendoza

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dragimal · 3 years

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now that s5 is over and I’m starting to wind down from the high of the finale, I think I can finally grasp *exactly* why I have mixed feelings on s5. to be clear, I absolutely ADORE TMA as a whole, and still consider it one of the best pieces of horror media I’ve consumed. but s5 left me feeling... not bad, but off, even when there’s plenty I still rly like abt s5

it mainly comes down to 2 things for me: 1) the severe tone shift, and 2) Martin being Fucking Weird for a lot of the season

a lot of ppl have talked abt how s5 just wasn’t as scary as the previous seasons for various reasons. one kinda inevitable reason was simply that a lot of the mystery of the horror had been revealed at that point, and a monster is never as scary once you can see it clearly. but I think the bigger reason is that the format shifted from horror anthology to.... sociology anthology. like, every statement of s5 felt like a sociology paper on fear and systemic abuse, rather than something meant to chill the reader

this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, honestly-- like I said, much of the mystery had been revealed, so I think it was an understandable move to try to shift the narrative somehow. also, I love sociology papers! I think they’re interesting to read, and s5 gave us some rly creative frameworks for some of them (the poetic carousel, Oliver’s professional assessment, Jared’s garden--)

however, I do think the tone shift was still a bit jarring, esp considering what the audience was used to up to that point. perhaps that’s an appropriate move, to match a plot point as game-changing as the literal apocalypse. BUT that doesn’t mean the tone shift still wasn’t a bit of a let-down, in terms of horror and tension

like, yeah a lot of the mystery was gone, but Hill Top Road ended up being the big mystery of s5... and we weren’t even fully aware of it til almost the end of the season? sure, there was plenty of fan speculation, but we were also considering SO many other possibilities, Hill Top was never rly a core theory until VERY late in the game. like, the mystery seemed to take a backseat to the sociology papers, if that makes sense, lmao

literally the ONE episode to give me chills down my spine like the good ol’ days pre-s5 was MAG196: This Old House. Annabelle vaguely threatening Martin, and ending on, “You have no idea who’s listening, do you?” fucking SUPERB, I was absolutely DELIGHTED by the possibilities of that one line! like, what did it mean? were we gonna go full meta??

but the last few eps after that were... frankly kind of a letdown from that spike of tension? I think those last eps are what rly cinched this idea for me-- that s5 was literally like reading a sociology paper. it rly all was just, arguing about the possibilities, considering the consequences, and making decisions. which, again, isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s not horror-- it’s a thought exercise with an apocalyptic garnish

EDIT-- I forgot to say, I think this is part of why MAG200 simply didn’t hit me the same way it hit others. it was intellectually satisfying-- it tied up loose ends, closed character arcs/relationships, left some delicious ambiguity-- but not emotionally cathartic, if that makes sense? like, I was expecting to cry, but I didn’t even rly get teary? I was grinning and delighted by all the satisfying conclusions, but I didn’t feel that emotional RELEASE that I was expecting and hoping for

as for jonmartin, I want to be clear here. I am NOT one of those ppl that thinks jonmartin came out of nowhere in s4-- I think the buildup pre-s5 was excellent, and their finally being together at the end of s4 was so so earned and rewarding. I’m also NOT one of those ppl that thinks arguments = abuse. I think when I briefly criticized jonmartin in s5 in the past, ppl got this impression that like, I think that jonmartin miscommunicating and having bad coping mechanisms... means that they’re bad for each other and abusing each other? and that’s just not the case??

I admit that my initial response to some of the jonmartin weirdness may have been a bit harsh, but even at the time I still loved jonmartin and was simply looking at their relationship with a critical but loving lens

what I have a problem with is that Martin pulls just as much bullshit as Jon in s5, and NEVER gets called out for it

this post I made a while back gets more into the details that bother me, but essentially, there’s always been this rly uneven “accountability scale” (idk what else to call it) for Jon vs. a lot of other characters-- in that, Jon always gets called out for his bullshit, while a lot of other characters don’t. now a lot of this is perfectly explainable as Jon being the main character, so we simply see his fuck-ups AND the subsequent consequences more often than any other character. and there are plenty of characters that I absolutely do NOT blame for going a bit overboard (I give Melanie and Tim in particular a ton of leeway here, given their respective situations. they more or less have full rights to bully Jon imo)

but, the problem is, there are also a LOT of moments where other characters say something absolutely horrific to Jon (namely Basira and Georgie in s4), like imply that he’s responsible for problems he had absolutely no control over, or fucking blame him for literally being groomed into an Archivist by people/powers he couldn’t even grasp... and those accusations are just left to sit and fester in Jon, completely uncontested

the nice thing abt s5 is that most of this is addressed-- like Basira’s completely unfair double-standards for “monsters”, and Georgie unknowingly blaming Jon for his trauma, etc.-- in very satisfying ways.

.... except for Martin.

without rehashing that linked post too much, Martin’s main problem in s5 is that his go-to response to trauma is denial. he denies the fact that he wants to kill avatars for his own satisfaction (which is a completely reasonable desire on its own tbqh!), and instead continues to lie to himself (for quite a long time) that killing avatars is actually helping anyone but Jon and Martin. he denies that Jon’s become a real full-fledged “monster”, and refuses to acknowledge all the baggage that comes with that

this denial unintentionally projects a lot of rly fucked-up messages at Jon, like: Jon is now a freaky horrorshow (even when he’s doing something completely innocuous, like talking casually about his powers); Jon’s fears over losing his autonomy/identity to the Eye, and his fears over his proven abilities to hurt others, are invalid; monsters inherently deserve to die, despite Jon technically being one; Jon not being able to use his powers “well enough” is some failure on his part

now, none of this is to say Martin’s characterization on its own is a bad thing-- I actually think it could’ve been interesting! it’s a perfectly reasonable trauma response, it tracks for Martin’s character pre-s5, and could have been a rly interesting perspective to explore.... if it was ever actually challenged by the narrative or other characters

I think the closest we got was Martin’s conversation with himself in his own domain, when his double calls him out for fantasizing a happy ending where Jonah is dead and Jon and Martin kiss (OUGH.... JONNY YOU HURT ME..), but that still never rly addresses the hurt that Martin’s denial causes Jon

and god, I was rly holding out-- Martin seemed to chill out on the denial a lot after the first third of the season, and I was hoping it might go a similar route as Basira, where it would just take a while to rly address Martin’s issues. but then Jon and Martin have their argument in MAG194, and I was fully on Martin’s side of it, UNTIL he said, “You weren’t meant to enjoy it this much!” (in reference to Jon killing avatars), and when Jon calls him out, Martin just brushes over it!

BOY when I tell you I went BALLISTIC.... FUCK YOU Martin, YOU’RE the one that went all Kill Bill and PUSHED Jon to feel the same way!! JESUS. like I get that that wasn’t the core of the argument there, but oh my god that one bit...

and once again, to make myself perfectly fucking crystal clear here, this is coming from someone who relates heavily to both Jon and Martin. I can see exactly where Martin is coming from for many of his decisions, and the trauma that’s led him to mentally protect himself like this. so it only makes me more frustrated to see him refuse to face his own issues, while still (understandably) expecting Jon to face his issues. yes, Jon pulls a LOT of bullshit in s5 that he deserves to be called out for (and called out he is!), but accountability goes both ways, Martin! you can’t demand responsible behavior from others if you’re not willing to extend the same courtesy!

#the magnus archives #shut up ashley #tma

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blauregen · 6 years

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fav ♀-releases in 2018 (in no particular order)

so, since i started this list like this last year too, here we go: i know little to nothing about music, i have weird (may i say b a d) taste and my reasonings are - as expected from a subjective list - Super personal ,, also i dont follow every female k-artists so there are definitely blind spots for me too! that said ... LETS GET GAY! LETS GO LESBIANS!

Wind (바람 ) - Heize

suprise surprise, its Heize again. i was rarely this excited about a comeback this year as i was about Wind ... i adore this mini. i really love Heize’s voice, especially now that she is playing around with rapping And singing more than ever, its just ,, i hear her voice and i just, immediately calm down and feel a warm glow in me rising and --- this is getting really cheesy, isn’t it.

my fav tracks have to be Sorry and wish you well (feat. DAVII), however i can listen to this whole album without a problem - of course Jenga as the title was amazing as well, Dahye’s voice works really well with Gaeko’s as well. additionally i loved the ~design for this album, the photoshoot is stunning and the whole aesthetic is very much up my alley.

AND SINCE WE R ALREADY TALKING ABOUT DAHYE:

+ First Sight (첫눈에) - Heize

as expected, i love her winter single release as well. again, a Lovely mixture of her singing and a solid very groovy amazing rapping part. i did like her mini a lot more lyricwise (lots of it is really sad but Sorry has such smart lyrics!!!), however as a “”simple”” winter release that is meant to fit this season, this is amazing.

...... also have i mentioned how Beautiful she is, jfc.

Deine - Ha:tfelt

Oh Boy. Here we go.

this is hands-down my Favorite Release of this whole year. i don’t know if its clear, but i adore yeeun. i adore her as the person park yeeun, who is an activist and very outspoken about her position of a woman in the industry, her experiences in one of the most successful girlgroups Ever, her views on feminism and sexism, the fact that she collabed with a drag organizer for her exhibition, etc etc etc. however, i also love yeeun as Ha:tfelt and adore her music. Pluhmm is such a sensual, fun and soft and yet strong song about her Own Desires and a woman that Wants to flirt and be in love and have fun and Be sensual and its so so so lovely and warm and playful and confident? i died a little at the MV because Ha:tfelt is a Woman and is portrayed as such, she is sensual and sexy and its portrayed by yeeun dancing around a flat in the sexiest dress and feeling herself and. its just Wonderful. so wonderful. i love her. Cigar is super touching too, very smooth and slick and polished and yet it has a vulnerable touch to it and is just ,, such a good song ....... thank u yenny.

Warning - Sunmi

ANOTHER AMAZING WOMAN. if i had to choose a soloist that is more active and actively promotes and performs on music and award shows etc, i’d definitely go for Sunmi. first of all: sunmi is outstandingly hardworking, talented, tough, brave, but also so so so kind and sweet and self-aware (seriously her twitter account is my social media highlight of this year, she is beyond ADORABLE and wonderful and funny) and of course she is fucking beautiful. this album is AMAZING - i can listen to the whole tracklist without skipping a single song. i adore Siren (aesthetically its my favorite title track of hers, though i do think Gashina is a little more catchy, esp together with that choreo - but i Love Siren’s horror-esque MV with the, well, siren-mermaid-imagery, so good!) but personally my favorite SONGS are ADDICT and Black Pearl - both sound very different actually, one being completely in English, but it just shows how well Sunmi can pull of different styles. god ... have u seen her on stage? shes a m a z i n g.

KHAN - I’m Your Girl ?

I started following Euna and Minju already before they debuted ... but what really made me fall in love with both their voices, be it singing or rapping (cause both are quite good at both ,,) was their DNA cover! generally the fact that they keep posting really cool covers on their youtube channel is beyond lovely and these two really managed to make me like a version of DNA ... (probably my least favorite BTS title track, lmao ,,)

their actual debut was just lovely. the song is great, soothing and super smooth and groovy and easy to listen to, their voices are stunning in it, the MV is VERY GAY, the choreo is fun and their outfits for promotion stages were such a lovely fresh wind and i really enjoyed seeing them perform a LOT. i just really like that KHAN already is quite unique and m so so so looking forward to future comebacks!

BBIBBI - IU

no highlight list without Jieun. the lyrics to this track were solely written by her and it shows - IU is an outstanding songwriter, i adore her hard work and experience and talent. the sound of the track itself is fun and bubbly and groovy and Very catchy, but my highlight is how this conflicts so beautifully with the lyrics that are quite ... critical and rough and basically show a very very sweet lovely middle finger to the rumour-netizen-culture around her ,, i am super excited for future full releases from jieun, though i still listen to Palette a lot and think she should take all the time she needs!

Bad Boy - Red Velvet

sadly, i didnt not really enjoy Red Velvets later release this year and neither did i really dig their summer release, but what i do adore to the moon and back is their The Perfect Red Velvet - The 2nd Album Repackage, though thats a lil bit of cheating since i already mentioned their Perfect Velvet album last year ,,

Bad Boy is my favorite title track of theirs this year, the styling is OUTSTANDINGLY GOOD MY GOD and the sound is just, smooth and cool and sexy and just ... damn.

also, Red Velvet definitely has some of my favorite jacket photoshoots of this year, the quality and beauty of their photos is amazing, i could spend hours just looking at those ......... and maybe i did.

What Is Love? - TWICE

the nations girl group powered through this year and released so many catchy awesome songs that i had a hard time choosing one ,, but What Is Love is definitely my MV highlight of the year and also the song itself is so so fun and lovely and cheerful and just makes me feel happy ... thank u for making me happy, TWICE!

You And I - Dreamcatcher

i have to admit: Dreamcatcher is not really my sound. their tracks remind me a little too much of Very Loud Stressful Anime Openings, so i accept that its just not my music taste ,, HOWEVER i actually really really like You and I. the song is very catchy and has this one part right before the chorus that i really love, its a very cool mysterious “dark” awesome track. moreover though i love the Whole Package that is Dreamcatcher (again, this horror-esque style of theirs is Really Up My Alley) - their styling and choreos are so clever and SEXY and goth-y and different, its just so fucking fun to watch them perform, especially the Choreo to You and I is so so so so so cool!

(also they r somewhat of a lesbian cult and m Very Appreciative of that, my god.)

LOOΠΔ - just, the whole thing.

SO - it took me until this year to really get into Loona. i knew them beforehand and was intrigued by the unique pre-debut “schedule” that their company was doing and checked out some songs but never got into them deeper. however, this year i truly listened to the Broad Amazing Variety that Loona offers and i just Have to include them here. all the girls and the subunits are super interesting and diverse and i love how especially the solo songs all sound different and lots of things were tried out and the AESTHETICS ARE OFF THE CHARTS. their full group debut was a little too ... they played it too ~safe for my taste, however i still adore lots of LOONA songs and can only recommend them!

(my favs are So Boring, i love Egoist and Heart Attack and Singing in the Rain and New and ... i’ll get back to this once i develop an actual Interesting opinion lmao)

i Can’t possibly end this list without some honorable mentions, because girls are amazing:

- (G)I-DLE are amazing rookies and performers and just such an awesome new girlgroup. Soyeon’s stage presence is just ,, wow, she is such a good rapper and performer, but the other girls are also so amazing and m so glad they are so successful and loved so far. favorite track of this year is def HANN (Alone), though all their songs are mighty good.

- Oh My Girl. maybe i dont listen to their songs as much but m in deep love with their visuals and stages and man ... call me, Yooa, please, m free almost every night.

- fromis_9 had such a cute quirky hyper Love Bomb comeback, i loved it!

- Momoland similarly had such catchy fun songs, i gotta mention them too!

- Hyuna - i love Hyuna and i wish her all the best and happiness and love and success and i hope to see her on stage again soon! (i especially loved her in Triple H, since i was actually quite a fan of that trio and the retro funky sound they went for ...... big sigh @ cube)

- Yubin ... again, not really my sound, but man. kill me Yubin, just do it, cmon.

- EXID is back to OT5! m so happy!!! I Love You was really fun, but I definitely enjoyed DDD last year more ,, but i still wanted to mention them, such a fun, diverse, different girlgroup that offers lots of different sounds and visuals and stands out to me a lot, so so good!

- Chungha ... m still in the process of falling in love with Chungha but oh god .... have u seen her? her dancing skills are out of this world, her beauty is stunning, she is so so sweet and kind and tough and her songs m so eager to properly discover and also a rly niche point but: I LOVE HER ALBUM DESIGNS SO SO SO MUCH.

- Minseo is another new amazing soloist ,, i discovered her at first through my fav photographers instagram (@ mu_gung) who took just. outstanding pics of Minseo but i also Adore her voice and she has done Amazing covers as well, her Why So Lonely is my absolute favorite and id dare to say i like it just as much as the original ... check her out, her MV visuals and concepts are Super interesting and beautiful and fun as well!

and many many many many more that i missed or forgot!

just know: girls are the best.

#heize #hyuna #ha:tfelt #iu #exid #yubin #momoland #oh my girl #gidle #loona #dreamcatcher #red velvet #sunmi #minseo #chungha #text

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illfoandillfie · 5 years

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28 Questions Tag

tagged by @uglypastels, @sweetlysilent, @hardzzello, @h-osterfield, @calum-hoodwinked-me and @andwhatdostarsdobest thank you all so much and I always seem to like these for later and never do them so here it is, about a few months late, whoops

1. How tall are you?

5′4″ or somewhere round there anyway idk

2. What color and style is your hair?

atm it’s my natural colour which is brown and it comes down to like a little above my belly button which is fucking insane now i realise just how long it is lmao its defs the longest i’ve ever had it....i really should go get it cut, mmaybe then i’d get back into dying it more regularly too lmao

3. What color are your eyes?

blue maybe a bit of a greeny blue

4. Do you wear glasses?

Nope

5. Do you wear braces?

Nope! One time I went to the dentist and he told me I had the straightest teeth he’d ever seen for someone who’d never had braces. shame i’ve had so many cavities and stuff lmao

6. What is your fashion style?

on weekends its a lot of jeans and t-shirts (esp. band or fandom related shirts), at work or when i get to dress up a bit its lots of dresses and skirts, especially ones that are like vintage inspired. I’m a sucker for a 50s style circle skirt or a 40s style dress. Lately i’ve been a little more into the 60ws/70s inspired stuff - lots of jumpsuits and mini skirts. Also in winter i love a good short skirt with stockings and boots and a long jacket over the top.

7. Full name?

First name is Brigid middle name Taylor you don’t get my last name

8. When were you born?

9 April 1993 (Good Friday!)

9. Where are you from and where do you live now?

Born in Brisbane Australia and still live there

10. What school do you go to?

I’m well out of school. I finished high school in 2010.

11. What kind of student are you?

I was a lazy student, never did as well as I could have.

12. Do you like school?

It was okay.

13. What are your favorite school subjects?

History (I did Ancient) and English. Art was okay too.

14. Favorite tv shows?

Brooklyn 99 / 30 Rock / Parks and Rec / Community - I’ve a slut for a good workplace comedy thing.

ummm Mindhunter is really good, so is Derry Girls. I really enjoyed Band of Brothers and The Pacific and I’m thinking about rewatching them maybe. Game of Thrones was good if you ignore the last 2/3 seasons lmao. Big slut for The Bachelor/The Bachelorette. Horrible Histories (the first 5 seasons with the original cast). Got a soft spot for Neighbours although we stopped watching for a while recently cause we hated a couple of the storylines. I feel like there should be more cause I watch a lot of TV but nothing else is jumping out at me.

15. Favorite Movies?

Whats Your Number?, The Proposal, Strictly Ballroom, BoRhap obv., Twilight, The Wedding Singer, Hot Rod, Thor Ragnarok, Captain America: The Winter Soldier,

16. Favorite books?

The Rivers of London series by Ben Aaronovitch, Frankenstein by Mary Shelly, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, ASOIAF by George RR MArtin, Harry Potter of course.

17. Favorite pastime?

atm Writing.

18. Do you have any regrets?

yeah a fair few

19. Dream job?

Don’t have one

20. Would you like to get married someday?

Nope! Never have, never will.

21. Would you like to have kids someday?

On the fence.

22. How many?

If I was going to I probably wouldnt want more than 2...maybe 3?? but its a big if.

23. Do you like shopping?

yeeeeesss. I shop too much!

24. What countries have you visited?

Italy and Greece.

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

I don’t tend to remember my dreams but last year I had a really fucking awful nightmare that kept me awake for the next 2 nights.

26. Do you have any enemies?

I don’t think so?

27. Do you have an s/o?

Nope!

28. Do you believe in miracles?

Not really, I don’t think?

tagging: @laedymoon @brian-maybe-not @veriloquently (dont feel obligated tho) and anyone else who wants to do it!

#about me

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baka-tsumibito · 6 years

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VKC/VME SECRET SANTA FIC 2018 [REPOST]

Couldn’t find it in the tags, so reposting! Let me know if you see it orz

Gift recipient: @foliefolio

This is for the wonderful Folie!! (Whose writing sustained me almost single-handedly since the end of the anime 😭) I can’t put into words how nerve-wracking writing this was, especially since I’ve had a ton of fic planned out that have gone unpublished for like...3-4 years?? Anyway, I guess this is finally my foray into ‘posting’ for VKC....and what better way to do it than to write for my idol ✨ !! I love you so much Folie, and I hope this suits your tastes. (And feel free to say if it doesn’t!!! I had a bunch of other ideas, and have another idea draft written out 😂) You’ve been such a big inspiration to me for the past ~16 months ❤️ I hope I can keep reading your writing for a long time to come!!! (Especially Vatican fics ehehe) And above all, I hope your holidays went wonderfully!!✨

(and if you didn’t see this yesterday, I’m sorry it’s late!!!!!!!)

The prompt was pretty open, and suggested some seasonal touches such as Christmas in Rome, night, gold, bells, cold, etc. I think I used most of them to be honest! There is quite a bit of ahem, non-2019-tumbr-appropriate content, so be warned (I was rather careful with the vocabulary though *shrugs*). Actually, 3/4 of it is priests doing the do, with lots of gratuitous Hiraga family mentions (JIN IS CANNON AND I LOVE HIM). [I guess I’ve never really posted publicly above my love for VKC, but I am a die-hard HiraRobe (esp. bottom Roberto) lover. Roberto will eventually cry (before/during/after or all 3) when they consummate their relationship 100%. I don’t think I did my thoughts of them justice here, and if I ever manage to publish again, there will definitely be more angst ; __ ; (There also needs to be more weirdness/religion too.) My current biggest thing is Vatican politics, and the logistics of priests in relationships despite their vows, how they make moral justifications and types of penance etc.etc. which I did not go into almost at ALL, so yeah...] Tumblr formatting is not ideal, so this will probably go up on AO3 once I get a chance to edit. I have a ton of miscellaneous commentary too, so that’ll probably be there as well. Sorry for the long preface, onto the actual gift! [Couldn’t find the read more button, I’m sorry :’) ] *** The winter wind is cold and brisk, blowing across the balcony and permeating the thin blanket draped around Roberto’s shoulders, useless against the frigid air. He cannot hold back a shiver, then another, and he desperately wishes for some form of heat. The door slides open and shut behind him with a click, bringing no respite from the chill. Hiraga, then? Both his brother and his father are asleep in the room behind him. Roberto had been nodding off on the sofa himself, but despite the late hour, it’s time for him to go and give the family some privacy.

Hiraga would be against that; luckily, Roberto can try to convince him out here, in the relative privacy of the balcony. Only God will be their witness – and perhaps, the smoker in the hotel across the way if he stays out much longer. “Roberto,” Hiraga murmurs at his back, arms wrapping around his middle and firmly anchoring themselves around his torso.

Oh.

Perhaps it is not time for this particular discussion then. Maybe, Roberto can allow himself to indulge for a few minutes. But alas, nothing with Hiraga ever seems to go according to plan. For Hiraga’s hands are already beginning to wander, and with them Roberto’s composure is already starting to break. “Hiraga,” Roberto begins, train of thought nearly derailing when a fingertip purposefully flicks against a hardened nub. He supresses a sigh. “Isn’t this a little…” Tasteless? Improper? Ryouta is on the other side of the balcony door, in their room; so is Hiraga Jin –

(kind, wonderful Hiraga Jin who had spoken with him about opera for hours at length, only pausing for a second when Roberto shuddered, expression falling, at the mention of Puccini who had followed Rossini, Verdi and before that,Weber, Wagner and Wetz and Jin had been delighted to find Roberto knew even obscure German composers “Ah, I suppose no Tosca for you then, Roberto-kun,”and when Roberto smiled back weakly, almost in apology,

“That’s alright,” he murmured consolingly. “I can’t say I’m very fond of Madama Butterfly myself.”)

– Jin who has shown nothing but tremendous kindness to Roberto from the moment they met in the train terminal. Jin, who Roberto has only known personally for less than twenty hours and is desperately trying impress, and keep face in front of him at the very minimum. (Jin, who had smiled at Roberto with as much kindness as either of his sons after a single conversation; who had welcomed him into the family – immediately, as Roberto would find out from the paperwork he would receive a few weeks later – Jin, who had insisted Roberto call him by his given name, insisting that any other title would be too stuffy and that one “Hiraga” was more than enough.) (And Hiraga, his lovely partner Hiraga, had made an undecipherable expression upon realizing he was now the only one being referred to by surname.) Ryouta and Jin are only separated from them by a glass door; Hiraga’s delicate hands are currently worming their way through the layers of blanket and underclothes to Roberto’s skin and he can’t— “Hiraga…!”

We can’t, Roberto needs to tell him, not here. No matter how much his body desires, blood thrumming through his veins at the proximity he has barely had enough days to get used to, if at all– since Hiraga kissed him on the stroke of midnight as the crowds on the television in front of them began screaming in celebration, soft mouth pressing against Roberto’s frozen smile, still with surprise and fear, buried underneath the building euphoria – since Hiraga took his bare hand a day later, telling him “My family is coming to Italy to celebrate with us; won’t you join me?” And Roberto hadn’t known what to do with the burst of adrenaline that sent his heart pounding loud enough to drown out Hiraga’s soft explanations of travel plans and cheap hotel rooms post-holiday season – since Hiraga had shown up at his door at 5:50 in the morning, dressed casually but smartly as he usually did on their days off together, taken one look at the circles under Roberto’s eyes and dragged him back to bed (where they had laid together and Roberto hadn’t managed much rest at all when they were forced to rise or be late to Rome) – since touching Hiraga to his heart’s desire became allowed, and now Roberto feels the precarious grip on his self-control he has clung to all this time begin to slip. “Roberto…” comes Hiraga’s voice, cutting quietly through the night air. Rome is much more crowded than the Vatican. Booking a room on an upper floor has its advantages, Roberto muses in an attempt to distract himself from the warmth and pressure at his back. The night view is rather enchanting, what with the colorful array of lights spreading out in the distance. “Roberto..!” Hiraga calls more insistently this time, startling Roberto out of his reverie. He is not accustomed to being ignored, and Roberto must apologize. A kiss to his spine signals that he is forgiven. Roberto lets out a sigh in response. “Bend down please,” Hiraga murmurs at his back, and Roberto reflexively complies. As he slowly hunches over the railing, Hiraga’s lips find the back of his neck. Roberto shivers, not out of cold alone. Each kiss leaves a trail of ice in its wake, as Hiraga makes his way down the slope of one shoulder, then the other. His fingers are occupied with Roberto’s buttons, and as they slowly come undone, more and more skin is revealed to the biting wind, immediately covered by Hiraga’s eager mouth. After some time, Hiraga begins to tire of this, and slips both arms under Roberto’s shirt. He cannot supress a whimper. Thus spurred on, Hiraga’s hands come to rest on his bare chest, caressing him lightly. Still, there is intent behind each stroke, and as one hand flits over his hardened nipple, the other slips lower, stroking the curves of Roberto’s torso and muscles as it descends down his stomach. “…ah… Hiraga, w-wait…” Roberto stifles a gasp as a fingertip brushes the skin along his waistband. Don’t stop, he contradicts himself internally. Please don’t let go of me. He wonders if Hiraga can hear him anyway, intuiting his desires, but reluctantly, Hiraga’s hands do come to a halt before pulling away entirely. “Nnn…!” Roberto lets out unintentionally. The movement of Hiraga’s arms has caused the blanket to shift, leaving his upper body uncovered, bare from the shoulders where Hiraga had worried at the skin with his lips. They are only apart for a few moments, though it is enough for a sudden draft to send him shivering. Hiraga struggles with something behind him. “It’s alright,” Hiraga soothes, “It’s alright. Roberto.” He returns with the blanket, fumbling to wrap it snuggly around the two of them together. Roberto begins to find this struggle endearing as his bare skin is covered once more, although Hiraga’s comfort takes priority. He twists around slightly intending to take over, but Hiraga’s palms come to rest on his shoulder blades, stopping him halfway. “Let me please,” he chastens. Who is Roberto to say no? “Alright,” he allows. He strains to keep still, as his instincts urge him to turn around, to take Hiraga into his arms and keep him there indefinitely. If only, if only… Hiraga’s fussing continues on, and Roberto’s left hand is captured by both of Hiraga’s during the struggle, right hand bracing them both against the railing. Their entwined limbs are somehow even colder – an uncomfortable cold Roberto cannot shake off when Hiraga’s fingers glide away to continue tucking the sheet elsewhere. He struggles to shake his hand free – an attempt to bring it up to his lips and warm it with his breath – but when his hand emerges from the tangle, Roberto’s eyes immediately zero in on the metal band settled snugly around his finger. Behind him, Hiraga has stilled; finished fiddling with the blanket then, or waiting for Roberto’s reaction? A quick glance tells him that the sheet is stretched taut around his chest, already beginning to slide down and bringing his unbuttoned shirt with it. Hiraga is a priest; he has, then, undoubtedly attended the same classes Roberto has, and Roberto aches, aches, to believe that not even Hiraga would mistake the significance of putting a ring. on someone’s. left.

(ring finger) He desperately wants to see what expression Hiraga is wearing at the moment, but his partner’s face is currently buried between Roberto’s shoulder blades, showing no signs of emerging. His own face must look something scary, for Roberto can feel himself start to tear up, wind attacking him mercilessly and deepening the ache. Roberto struggles to rotate his upper body, disturbing Hiraga’s careful wrapping and unsettling his hiding spot. With this new angle, his hip is digging into the metal bars of the railing. Roberto pays it no mind, cupping Hiraga’s cheeks and bringing their gazes level. Hiraga is flushed, eyes darting left and right before slowly looking up at Roberto through his long lashes. His chin is lowered, and he is biting his lip. Goodness, how many times must he be told not to, Roberto thinks with a level of fondness. He reaches out to free Hiraga’s poor lip with his left arm, and both of their eyes are drawn to the shining ring. Hiraga lets out a deep breath. “I,” Hiraga falters, looks away. “Is it… alright now? That is, to…” His voice is soft from embarrassment, but hope shines through in his gaze, drilling holes into Roberto’s breastbone. Roberto cannot tear his eyes away. He gently calls for Hiraga’s attention, and Hiraga jerks his head up, making eye contact. Roberto can spot the moment Hiraga begins to panic, eyes dilating in alarm – after all, Hiraga has always been weak to crying, and Roberto has felt the urge to bawl building since that precious celebratory kiss. “Yes,” Roberto breathes, somewhat tearfully. “I could never say no to you.” Hiraga makes to wipe Roberto’s eyes, but pauses halfway. Roberto can only hold still, anticipation rising with each passing second…… until Hiraga raises himself on his toes to kiss the corner of his mouth, fisting the fabric pooled at Roberto’s waist. *** Hiraga’s lips flutter around the shell of Roberto’s ear, and he whines, softly. He can feel Hiraga, pressing into his hip unashamedly. He craves it, has been craving it maybe since they began their partnership, when Roberto began to feel like the hole in his chest could possibly be filled by the presence of this wonderful man. But right now, they’re outside and clearly visible to anyone who might happen to be watching. The alternative is a room containing the two people he wishes to impress the most, Hiraga’s family. There is no escape. And what about preparation? He hasn’t, oh heavens, hasn’t cleaned, has nothing to ease the slide of Hiraga inside of him, and what if it chafes? Hiraga would hurt, and they’d never attempt it again out of fear, and maybe regret – And what of their respective positions? Caught up by the mood, Roberto has forgotten – or purposefully put aside, as he can never truly forget – what of their vows? Hiraga has told him, the moment reality and dread set in after the midnight kiss, that the Church and God are separate; that God will forgive them this, will grant them this much, that love is beautiful in all forms. He’d quoted scripture and philosophies en masse and while Roberto had been struggling to wrap his aching head and heart around them, daring to hope, he’d forgotten to consider why Hiraga had done so much research. Now, it was all coming back to bite him. Not yet, his heart whimpers. We can’t, not until – until what? Will discussing his deepest fears quell the clamour in his heart, the noise that has refused to subside through time and effort? Hiraga bites down, drawing Roberto out of his spiralling thoughts. His ear stings pleasantly, Hiraga soothing the bite with tiny licks. Not wanting his dismay to be noticed, Roberto turns fully away, grasping the rail with a quiet click from the ring. If Hiraga has noticed anything, he stays quiet, only pressing even closer, throbbing length nudging the backs of Roberto’s legs. Ah. What if he took me like this?

And Roberto imagines Hiraga, slick between his thighs, hidden from any prying eyes by the folds of the sheet carefully draped around their waists. He visualizes the slide, smooth and warm, and aches in empathy. He’d have to cover his face, hide his expression, his tears borne from enjoyment and desire. He keens softly, and Hiraga’s arms tighten around his torso. “Roberto,” Hiraga pants, breathing rather heavily. “Let me see your face please.” And Roberto’s plans go out the figurative window .“…Alright,” he swallows, grasping the blanket and desperately trying to compose his expression while Hiraga manoeuvres him eagerly until they are face-to-face. He ducks his head, and Hiraga takes the opportunity, pushing forward until their lips meet tenderly in their first proper kiss of the night. It does not last nearly long enough. Roberto is left to savour the taste of Hiraga on his lips as Hiraga’s mouth wanders, destination clearly in mind. Roberto’s body takes this moment to remind him that a certain areahas been lacking attention; with a cry, his lower body jerks forward when Hiraga’s teeth brush the spot where jaw meets neck. His front, bulging prominently, hits something – Hiraga’s leg? – and he rushes to apologize. “Ah..Hiraga! I’m sorry—ahh!” Unbothered, Hiraga continues to move lower, shifting his stance until they are touching, chest to groin to thigh. Roberto can’t help but moan at the pressure, their hardness aligned as much as possible with their differences in height. Hiraga rolls his hips forward, lips buried in the crook of Roberto’s neck. Roberto presses his face to Hiraga’s hair. He cannot stifle the outpouring of groans and embarrassing noises he is producing in the face of such intense pleasure. “Ngh, aah… Hiraga, Hiraga, Hiraga…” Hiraga’s name is a litany of pleas on Roberto’s lips. Hiraga shudders in euphoria, rubbing their hips together. Calling his name in return. “Roberto...!” Hiraga pulls away, and the feeling of loss on Roberto’s neck is palpable, but then Hiraga presses their foreheads together and the pang is instantly soothed. Hiraga’s hand scrabbles with the too-tight front of Roberto’s pants. “May I? Please, I, oh, please allow me this…” he pleads, and Roberto has hardly breathed his assent before Hiraga is reaching into his undergarments and pulling him out rather hastily. But it’s enough, more than, even. “….Ah!” Roberto exclaims, head falling back. It’s been a very, very long time since he has touched himself this way; as little faith as he held in his own lifestyle, something about living up to Hiraga’s ideals (or so he imagined) had prevented him from indulging in this particular pleasure, at least in his conscious moments. In his sleep, he might be graced with Hiraga’s warmth only to regret his weakness in the morning, then spend days repenting. Or, he would find himself absently wondering about the stretch of his jaw when contemplating food, imagining the sensation of something inside him when cleaning the bidet (or using it). He’d promptly banish these thoughts, face flushed and guilt building, but. It was impossible to repress his sinful desires for long before they would surface, often at the most inconvenient of times. However, now he is keenly feeling the aftermath of abstaining. The pleasure is all-consuming. His body is ready to give in, limbs wound up tense, focus narrowed in on the tightness and particular sensation of Hiraga’s fist. But he cannot give in, not without giving something in return, not without seeing the rapture he is experiencing reflected in Hiraga’s own self. “Let me,” he rasps, fumbling towards Hiraga’s own straining erection. Hiraga sighs in response, pushing up into Roberto’s palm the moment he is freed. His free arm searches out Roberto’s, and Roberto starts as Hiraga winds their fingers together, jostling the cool metal around his ring finger already warming up in response to Hiraga’s touch. Hands clasped, they tug on each other frantically, racing to completion yet not awaiting the finish. “Roberto…” Hiraga exhales, smiling up at him. The city lights aren’t bright enough for Roberto to make out his eyes with their usual clarity, but they shine nonetheless. Hiraga is beautiful no matter where he is, Roberto reflects, and he leans in to capture that beauty for a fleeting moment. Hiraga kisses enthusiastically, all lips and tongue, and Roberto is content to let himself be kissed, thoroughly. Were this the private fantasy of his dreams, or the corner of his mind he dares not allow his mind to wander, he would take Hiraga’s jaw in hand and show him delicacy. Gentle, slow, yet warm… except, crouching on this freezing balcony, Hiraga is his only source of warmth, and Roberto desires his heat from his toes to his mouth to the depths of his core.

It is, he considers with what little sanity that remains, all too much. Hiraga has barely had his hands and lips on him, and Roberto is already at his limit, approaching climax at an alarming rate; he cannot spare anymore thoughts for the eyes that might be on them, whether it be the smoker from the hotel across the way, or even innocent Ryouta, who would surely come to resent him should he catch the two of them in such a compromising position. Roberto defiling his precious older brother – The sudden glare that blinds him even through his half-closed lids is regrettably not due to their climaxes. Roberto pulls away, however reluctantly, from Hiraga’s demanding kisses, letting go of Hiraga (to their mutual dismay) in order to lift the blanket even higher. He squeezes their entwined hands in apology; thankfully Hiraga does not respond by tightening his hand where it rests around Roberto.

The least he can do is shield Hiraga’s body from sight, as he scrambles for a way to do damage control, although the situation is not promising. Against him, Hiraga is pliant but confused as he tries to figure out where Roberto’s attention has gone. It takes a few, loaded moments before his attention is directed to the room behind him. By fault of pleasure or exhaustion, Roberto is not sure, his eyes take what feels like minutes to adjust. What had seemed blinding a few moments before is only a small lamp, mounted next to an empty armchair where Ryouta had curled up for the evening despite the inviting bed beside him. Jin takes up half of said bed now, spread out on top of the sheets and still in his day clothes. He doesn’t seem to have moved from where Roberto had last seen him before heading outside, unsure if pulling the blankets up around him would be too much, or. Well. All the more he should leave them be, before he intruded too much, Roberto had reasoned, then promptly fled to the balcony. Roberto stiffens as he spots Ryouta exit the bathroom, rubbing his eyes blearily and looking very much half-asleep. More or less relaxed, Hiraga leans against his chest, exuding more calm than Roberto feels as Ryouta climbs onto the bed and settles in next to his father. They observe silently for a little longer, perhaps bound by some mutual understanding built after years of partnership, watching him slip deeper into sleep. The lamp is left forgotten. Hiraga is the first to break the silence, laughing softly. He turns back to Roberto, looking pleased. “Roberto,” he begins. “Shall we head inside? So you don’t fall ill.”

How he is so unruffled when they were nearly caught in the act, Roberto cannot fathom. Still, he would hate to ruin the moment, to burst the bubble with whys and what ifs. Steeling himself, he leans in to rest their heads together. Moving their coupling into the room where Hiraga’s family is sleeping is unthinkable, and the inevitable end to their encounter if they do go inside hurts just as much. Hiraga’s hand is hot and fidgeting around him, and a distant part of Roberto is ashamed that his erection has not flagged in the slightest. Not yet. I don’t want this to end yet. “Hiraga,” Roberto tells him. “Please…don’t stop.” And with that, Roberto gently grabs Hiraga’s length, bringing them together; the heat of them combined is electric. He can hardly keep his eyes open wide enough to take in the details of Hiraga’s beautiful face: eyelids fluttering, mouth gasping, bangs sticking to his face with what must be a cold sweat. “Roberto…hnngh…” Hiraga groans, letting go and allowing Roberto to take care of bringing them over the edge. Roberto is infinitely grateful that Hiraga, intentionally or not, takes the blanket in hand briefly before allowing his free hand to roam around Roberto’s bare chest once more. It’s much warmer without the slick from their pre-cum freezing in the breeze. Hiraga’s hand wanders up to Roberto’s right cheek, pulling him back in for another kiss. He licks into Roberto’s mouth, tongue wandering up and down teeth, along the roof of his mouth, and twining their tongues together. The intensity of it all brings Roberto right back to the precipice he had been teetering on the edge of not long before. It’s all he can do to keep stroking them, although admittedly Hiraga thrusting against him is doing much more than the periodic buckling of his own hips. “Hiraga, Hiraga…” he whispers into the kiss, and Hiraga sucks Roberto’s tongue into his mouth. “Nnn…” When Hiraga pulls away, Roberto follows. The next words he speaks are against Roberto’s lips. “Roberto,” Hiraga forces out. “Please.” His voice takes on a deeper timbre, lower than Roberto has ever hear from him. It’s incredibly attractive, just as much as the near-growl that comes out next. “Please,” “call my name.” Roberto’s heart lurches. (And oh, if this hasn’t been building all day, since he’d caught Hiraga staring at them wistfully) (“Here, Roberto-nii-san!” “Thank you Ryouta-kun.”) ( “Has Kou been giving you much trouble, Roberto-kun?” “Not too much, Jin-san. It’s nothing I can’t handle. Right, Hiraga?”) ( “Onii-san, your expression is scary…”) A swell of affection rises in him, and Roberto presses his lips to Hiraga’s ear before he whispers, “Kou.” The effect is instantaneous; Hiraga cries out, jerks his hips into Roberto’s hand, and squeezes Roberto’s other palm. The ring digs into his skin, and the reminder that Hiraga had gotten him a ring paired with the sudden, aggressive crash of lips on his is enough to knock enough awareness into him. Oh, Roberto thinks, feeling somewhat removed. This isn’t a dream.

He’s embracing (making love to?) Hiraga for the first time; the thought consumes him, sends his eyes watering, and his body chooses that moment to give in. *** Roberto is vaguely conscious of Hiraga calling his name during his release. When Hiraga captures his lips once more, softly this time, he feels himself returning to the present. Hiraga pulls away gradually. “Have you come back to me yet?” he murmurs, and the words are endearing enough that Roberto kisses him again, and again, until his cooling body interrupts, and he must pull away to stifle a sneeze. “Oh, Roberto,” Hiraga says dreamily. Roberto stares at him. “You were so beautiful when you came.” Roberto cannot help the flush that rises to his cheeks, his ears, and quite possibly his neck too. The tears he has been holding in all night decide to overflow, much to his embarrassment. “Aah, uuuu…” Roberto turns his head to the side, extricating his left hand from Hiraga’s grasp to cover his face. Surprisingly, Hiraga lets him, and does not startle at the sight of his tears. Instead, he wraps both arms around Roberto’s waist and holds him close.

It’s warm. What is also warm – and somehow still not deflating – is Hiraga’s member, still grasped in Roberto’s grip with his own, softening and growing oversensitive, length. Hiraga has not come yet. Staring at the crown of Hiraga’s head, Roberto’s muddled mind reaches this conclusion much too slowly. Mustn’t it be painful? Why hadn’t he said – this is Hiraga, selfless to a fault. Of course he hadn’t said anything. Roberto must take care of him. It’s partially a selfish desire: what face would Hiraga make, trembling in the arms of ecstasy? How would his limbs tense, back arch, expression contort? Would he come with Roberto’s name on his lips, begging for a kiss, or for release? Roberto needs to find out. “Hiraga,” he says, letting go of them at last. Hiraga whimpers, face still hidden in Roberto’s chest. “Hiraga,” he tries again, this time moving to release Hiraga’s tight grip around his back. Hiraga does not give. “Yes yes,” he wants to laugh, but settles for pressing a kiss to Hiraga’s hair part, then suddenly drops to his knees. Hiraga’s hands, now left grasping at empty air, immediately find purchase in Roberto’s curls. Roberto takes a second to look up at him, framed by several lights from surrounding buildings and the clear night sky. Hiraga has always looked lovely, but this view of him, hair and clothing disheveled, zip opened and framing his aching hardness, staring down at Roberto with eyes filled with something he desperately wishes is love, this view of him is nothing short of angelic. He commits the view to memory as he leans forward to nuzzle Hiraga’s shaft. “Roberto…” Hiraga sounds dazed. Roberto’s tongue darts out to lick along a protruding vein, and Hiraga’s hips buck forward. “Roberto!” But Roberto gives him no time to apologize. He takes the head – that had only nudged his cheek – into his mouth, and sucks. Hiraga hisses, fingers tightening in his hair. “R-Roberto…it’s aaah… so w-warm…” Hiraga stutters, hips moving erratically. Roberto’s hands reach up from where they grip Hiraga’s thighs to trace his protruding hipbones. Remembering himself, Roberto’s dominant hand dips down to cup, then gently tug on Hiraga’s balls. Hiraga sighs. They are already wound close to his body; is he close? More than likely, Roberto assumes. While Hiraga has been surprising him left and right recently, the idea of Hiraga getting himself off frequently enough to build up a decent amount of stamina is still improbable, at best. Roberto mulls this over while taking Hiraga further into his mouth, redirecting his line of sight low enough to ensure his lips stayed folded over his teeth. Hiraga is part of the science division, and Roberto would not be surprised at this point if their personal doctrine concerning abstinence is less strict than what is expected by the Church. For ah, health reasons, perhaps. After all, the human body is designed for periodic release and tension does build up. But Hiraga is not good at taking care of his own needs, Roberto muses as he bobs his head. Hiraga cries out his name above him. Occasionally perchance, but Hiraga touching himself with any degree of frequency is about as unbelievable as Hiraga having a wedding night… and Roberto’s pace falters as the band on his finger grows unbelievably heavy. Hiraga strokes through Roberto’s hair, and it serves as a reminder to concentrate on his task. Thoughts of how Hiraga gets himself off, and what Hiraga’s intentions are should be saved for later, in the privacy of his home. Or, ah, bed. Roberto makes a questioning sound, almost as if to say does it feel good? and Hiraga groans before telling him yes, of course--oh!.. yes, very much so--ahhh... If only he could take him all the way down, Roberto despairs, but his jaw is already nearing its limits. He swallows in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure – but this must feel incredibly good, as Hiraga’s hands clench in a vice grip. His hips pick up the pace and Roberto keeps himself still as to let Hiraga take his pleasure. Roberto, Roberto, Roberto….. Hiraga calls out his name over and over, and Roberto wishes for this to last just a little longer. Hiraga’s hips stutter, and Roberto takes over as best he can, until he can taste Hiraga’s release pouring down his throat. He comes rather silently, Roberto notices, staring up at the long line of Hiraga’s throat. His expression is hidden by his chin and his hair, Roberto observes regretfully. Either way, he is still the most beautiful sight Roberto has ever laid eyes upon. He keeps his lips fastened around Hiraga until he has emptied himself. Roberto gently licks him clean before pulling off and swallowing the load. He stays on his knees, staring up at Hiraga and gently stroking his legs until Hiraga comes back to himself, looks down at Roberto in awe and tugs on him lightly until Roberto gets to his feet. Hiraga leans against him as Roberto wipes first his hand, then Hiraga’s softening shaft with the dirtied blanket. Hiraga’s warmth is akin to a fire, and Roberto basks in it (being outside shirtless in January means it is most likely his sense of temperature that is off). He won’t regret anything if he gets sick, although maybe if either of them had had more presence of mind, they would have made better use of the now-sticky blanket. Hiraga takes hold of a corner to wipe up the small smear he made under Roberto’s eye. Roberto tries to tidy them up as best he can, tucking them carefully inside their underwear, closing buttons and zippers and hiding skin once more. And combing through hair (or at least Hiraga’s; with the way Hiraga had been tugging on his own, he’s not sure he can face the damage without a mirror or two). He leaves his shirt half-buttoned, only for the way Hiraga’s gaze lingers (dare he say, appreciatively). Thus groomed, Hiraga leans in to kiss him. Roberto quickly reaches up to place three fingers on Hiraga’s lips. “Nn?” Hiraga looks up at him in surprise, thrown off. “I, I just…” Roberto does not know how to put this into words without embarrassing himself even further. He settles for pointing at his throat. “Swallowed..” Expression determined, Hiraga reaches up with unexpected strength, pulling Roberto’s fingers away and sticking his tongue inside Roberto’s mouth. He licks him more thoroughly than before, and Roberto is helpless to stop him, mind blank. “It’s alright,” Hiraga tells him as he pulls away, wiping a suspicious wetness off his bottom lip with his thumb. (Roberto doesn’t want to know.) “Of course I don’t mind that. I love you.” In the silence, neither of them expect the second deluge of tears of the night. Ashamed, Roberto prays for the earth to swallow him up. Maybe then, he can spend eternity contemplating Hiraga’s revelation, or giving thanks for this encounter. And then plead for a second. Hiraga leads Roberto, sobbing silently, inside. If the constantly-changing temperatures don’t make him sick, maybe dehydration will. He decides to turn a blind-eye to the blanket dumped on the floor between the empty bed and the wall – he does not have the energy to deal with it now. It is only when Hiraga pulls Roberto into his lap on the unoccupied bed that Roberto remembers his resolve to leave the family their privacy. It quickly crumbles faced with the stream of uninterrupted tears. Roberto is quick to hide his face in Hiraga’s arms. Hiraga strokes his head for as long as it takes Roberto to reign himself in. When his shoulders cease their trembling, at last Hiraga speaks: “Roberto? Did I do something wrong?... Have you, come to hate me?” Roberto’s head snaps up immediately. “No!” He takes a deep breath, and reminds himself to speak quietly as to not wake up the rest of the room. Hiraga’s face is already showing signs of relief.

“Of course not,” he continues in a whisper. “How could you think that? I,” and here Roberto pauses. This is not the ideal place to confess. Hiraga deserves much, much more than a sobbing mess and a soiled sheet on a cold balcony in an unfamiliar room, but. But.

Hiraga has given him so much today. (A confession, a ring, an experience of family. A hand, a mouth, and pleasure Roberto could never put into words.) It’s not fair to keep him waiting still.

“I love you more than anything,” Roberto confesses to him quietly. “I will never, ever come to hate you. I promise.” Hiraga smiles up at him, eyes glittering. “I know!” That throws Roberto off. “Eh?” Hiraga’s grin is infectious. “You told me earlier, when you, ah…” Hiraga’s eyes dart over to where his brother and father lie sleeping. He meets Roberto’s eyes, blushing slightly but with a playful smile. Roberto cannot believe his ears.

“I did?” Hiraga nods happily. “Ah. I see. How unfortunate,” Roberto continues. “I had hoped to remember at least that much.”

Hiraga nestles up to him, seemingly unphased. “It’s alright. I’d be happy to hear it again.”

And with that, every unsettled feeling in Roberto’s heart is swept away.

(I love you, he whispers, and will continue to all night, face hidden in Hiraga’s hair.)

Hiraga wipes away the wet streaks that adorn his face. They take a blanket from their own bed to cover Jin and Ryouta, lost in slumber. The lamp is switched off. The used blanket is adequately hidden, and Roberto washes his face while Hiraga dries his hands. Roberto runs his fingers through his hair, though it is likely a lost cause.

Once they’re done, Roberto allows Hiraga to tug him into their own bed with no complaints. He embraces him tightly.

“Hey,” Roberto whispers to him. “Let’s go buy your ring soon, alright?”

“Make,” Hiraga corrects sleepily, and Roberto is once again sent reeling. He holds Hiraga as he falls asleep, whispering promises of love, and tries to pray, to offer what thanks he can to God for this blessing. (The next day is truly just as exciting: Jin and Ryouta wake up disoriented but happy when they see the couple embracing in their sleep, Roberto discovers that his ring is gold – he won’t find the inscription within until they get home – and Hiraga gets flustered when Roberto calls him “Kou” in front of everyone. Hiraga gets teased about his new, form-fitting wardrobe much to Roberto’s delight, Jin tries to teach them all about adoption processes and family registries in Japan – to everyone but Hiraga’s confusion – and Roberto nearly damages something when he finds several red marks covering his nape, in plain view despite his shirt collar.)

#foliefolio #Vatican Kiseki Chousakan #Vatican Miracle Examiner #Hiraga Josef Kou #Roberto Nicolas #平ロベ #fanfiction #平賀ヨゼフ庚 #ロベルト・ニコラス

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raaven-nerd · 6 years

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the epic mega tag of tags

I’ve been inactive for an eternity so I got tagged in a bunch of things by a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE (THANK YOU ALL FOR TAGGING ME I LOVE YOU ALL <3)

So i decided to combine all these tags into ONE MEGA TAG!!! I’m sorry if I don’t have every single tag that people have tagged me in, because I was kinda... inactive lol

I honestly have no idea how many questions are in here, but I’m really excited to answer all these questions. Subtle hint for you guys to ask me questions lmao!! My ask box is always open ;)

//INTRO//

Time: 9:00AM (i’m on summer break, i’m not ditching school rn lol)

Name: Michelle

Nickname: Mich (pronounced mish,,) and Michy (fun fact: all my friends spell this differently but the correct spelling is michy!! At least that’s how i spell my nickname lmao)

Gender: Female

Nationality: Australian

Star Sign: Cancer

Height: like 157cm LMAO i’m really short

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw (hence my branding lmao)

Languages Spoken: English, Cantonese (but badly), Japanese (but only because i learn it at school)

Dream job: GOOD QUESTION LMAO umm something medical?? But like if i was remotely talented, doing something creative would be really cool.

How many pets do you have: 1, I have a pet dog named Pepper

What am I wearing: A T-shirt from last year’s school musical that’s way too big for me and black shorts (and by that i don’t mean a T-shirt that was like part of my costume,, i mean like a merch kinda t-shirt?? but not really merch bc i was in the musical)

Instruments/sports played: I don’t play any instruments ,, well i play ukulele badly lmao, and i play soccer and volleyball for grade sport :)

//ABOUT THE BLOG//

When did you make this account? Like,, 2 years ago?? YIKES

Why did you join studyblr? Honestly i don’t remember why,, probably bc i wanted to get better at studying and get more motivated

How many followers do you have? Surprisingly around 4800

Why I chose my url: because i’m a nerd,, and my hogwarts house is ravenclaw

//BELOW THE CUT//

Things about my personal life :000 (get that juicy goss!! lol not really tho my life is pre uneventful)

Study tips and my study routine I guess? Just about how i study lol

Music/Book/Film/TV faves and other related thingos (aka how cultured am i?? again not really tho i’m just trying to make this sound interesting lmao)

And some more just RANDOM things lmao (like some of these things get really random lol)

//PERSONAL//

What are three basic facts about you? Okay so whenever a teacher asks me to introduce myself at the start of the school year, my default interesting fact is “I have a dog” and every single year the teachers are super amazed that i have a pet dog and it’s absolutely hilarious bc everyone else is like “I’m not sharing any personal information with you guys”, and the teacher ends up interrogating me about my pet dog.

That’s not a basic fact lol um.. My birthday is on the 15th of July, I’m the youngest of 3 siblings and I graduate in 2020 :))

What was the best part of your day today? Ngl this is actually a really hard question for me to answer because I am NOT in a good mental state right now… but probably watching Joe Sugg’s new vlog. That was a good way to spend a study break. OR REPLYING TO THAT ANON MESSAGE OMG everyone sending me messages saying that they’re glad to see me back just wow ;; i can’t believe people even noticed i was gone it’s just ahhughsgs thank you all so much <33

Relationship status: um… single… yeah let’s just leave it at that

who is the first person you go to in a crisis, when you’ve had a hard day, or when you need to vent? Well… my best friend would be the first person i go to.. Except we’re on holidays right now and they have the worst reply game (bc they’re kinda not allowed to talk to me,,, it’s complicated lmao)

what is your love language? (if you don’t know it, there are plenty of love language quizzes on Google! I definitely encourage you to look it up and find it out for your benefit!) :ooo I did a quiz for this ages ago BUT I GOTTA DO IT AGAIN bc i forgot LOL

OKAY i did it! I used 5lovelanguages.com so yeah.. Just in case anyone was wondering? But I guess my love language is quality time/words of affirmation and from highest to lowest it’s quality time (9), words of affirmation (8), physical touch (6), acts of service (4) and receiving gifts (3)

what are the little things in your life that make you happy? Lmao all my friends bc we’re all SHORT AF.. but seriously,, just really small things can make me so happy, just being able to spend time with my friends makes me really happy?? Like we can just sit in (comfortable) silence, but i’ll be so content to just be there with my friends.. Quality time with friends?? thanks love language Does that count idk how to answer this

What is your favourite thing about yourself? Um physical thing?? Probably my hair tbh.. But like my actual fav thing about myself is um the fact that i’m empathetic, generally pre organised and good w/ time management and i can like teach myself stuff?? or maybe how i could be having the worst day of my life and i’ll still want to spread positivity and good vibes?? Yeah that’s pre cool

what accomplishment in your life are you most proud of? Uhh i got dux of english a few years back? I was in the top 10 of 4 subjects last year so that’s pre cool? But tbh the accomplishment i’m most proud of is probably just going to the school I go rn.. OR surviving last year lol 2018 was a mess

What’s one piece of advice to yourself a year ago? GIRL things are gonna be tough. Like really hecking tough. But it’s not worth it to hold grudges, there’s no point letting fear of what could happen stop you from doing things you want to do and you will survive and you will be stronger because of it. Don’t let what other people say about you get you down, yes, it sucks to hear people speculating about you and your private life, but they have no idea what’s actually going on, and they’re just curious . No one has anything against you. You are loved, and you are worthy, and you are strong. You got this.

what is a skill you wish you had? To play guitar!! Or to be able to sing!!

Name three places you’d like to go to. Richard Rodgers Theatre to watch Hamilton, Music Box Theatre to watch Dear Evan Hansen and the Warner Bros Studio Tour in London. (but also, Japan, London and New York)

//STUDY & ACADEMICS//

What’s your degree/favourite subject? Uhhh it was drama but i dropped that and the 2019 school year hasn’t started yet so.. Who knows?

What motivates you to study? The fact that I gotta do well and get good marks in order to get into a good uni course… and the fact that i just want to keep getting better,, and i don’t want to disappoint people and i also don’t want to do badly bc yikes its real competitive at my school so like lowkey fear of failure

What time do you do your best studying? Tbh it really depends, it’s either the morning not long after i wake up (esp if it’s holidays or the weekend), right after i get home from school, or like late at night if i get a burst of motivation (like sometimes i’ll end up studying from 10:30 to 1am which isn’t sustainable if i have to get up at 7 for school)

Best self care tip for exam season? Don’t spend your time around people who get really stressed out. It only makes you more stressed, and you don’t need that extra worry. Positive vibes only. Stay chill!

Do you listen to music when you study? Yeah. I just listen to music with no lyrics and I’ll use @studyquill’s playlist :DD

Where do you do your best studying? I do pretty much all my studying at home so.. home?? but i have this spot at school that i like to go to in the mornings when no one’s at school yet because it’s super quiet and i can get some quality work done there

What’s your go to thing when studying? Write notes, do practise questions, draw summary mind maps and try to recite my notes from memory

//MUSIC//

put your music library on shuffle, list the first 15 songs

Oh boi this is going to be interesting

How Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran

Part of Me (Bonus Track) - Dear Evan Hansen

If I Could Fly - One Direction

Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer

If I Could Tell Her - Dear Evan Hansen

Somebody to Love - Queen

Moving Along - 5 Seconds of Summer

Candy Store - Heathers the Musical

Cabinet Battle #2 - Hamilton

Guns for Hands - Twenty One Pilots

Sunrise - In The Heights

The Judge - Twenty One Pilots

Radio Ga Ga - Queen

Defying Gravity - Wicked

Shine a Light - Heathers the Musical

Song stuck in your head: for some reason Acid Rain by Cimorelli just randomly came into my head when I woke up this morning?? so that i guess lol

Last song you played: Alaska by Maggie Rogers

What are you listening to right now? well right now it’s Shine a Light lmao

what are your 5 favourite songs right now? THIS IS HARD OMG okay um Photograph by Ed Sheeran, Shout Out To My Ex by Little Mix, Fire Away by Niall Horan, Walking in the Wind by One Direction and I discovered Light On by Maggie Rogers today so that too!!

What’s your favourite lyric right now? Darling you don't have to hold it/You don't have to be afraid/You can go 'head and unload it/'Cause you know it'll be okay

Fave artist? GOOD QUESTION.. I don’t have an answer lmao but I like 5SOS, Ariana Grande’s new songs, Ed Sheeran and the soundtracks to quite a few musicals but that doesn’t answer the question lol

//FILM, BOOKS & TV//

Last movie you saw: I rewatched Crazy Rich Asians :))

Top three TV shows: lol i don’t watch TV but all times favs include Gravity Falls and The Simpsons annnnndd um… yeah I really don’t watch much TV lol

What are your favourite books? All time fav is Harry Potter, but rn my fav is probably 13 Reasons Why (i know it’s also a TV show so i might check it out!!)

Which ones are you currently reading or want to read? Right now, I’m reading Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. I’m only a few pages in though.

What’s the most recent book you’ve read? Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

//MISCELLANEOUS//

Describe your favourite colour without saying the name! Soft colour of love

What’s your favourite season? Probably autumn

Favourite animal? My pet dog lmao (i really like dogs but i love so many animals but we’ll just say dogs)

Last thing you googled: ‘fire away lyrics niall horan’ because i wanted to check i had the right words lol

How many blankets you sleep with: 1

If you could be a celebrity, who would you be? Probs Emma Watson or Ariana Grande

What is the last text you sent? Ummm i’ll check AND i quote “I AM,,, somewhat certain that’s correct bc like.. I don’t have any confidence in myself” I was talking to my friend about an assignment lol

Average hours spent sleeping? 7-8 ish??? But during the school term, it could be more like 6-7 but still ain’t that bad???

WOW THAT WAS LONG if u actually stayed throughout all of this and read it all,, (which no one probably did) umm dm me your fav lyrics of the moment? yeah do that lol i wanna meet some new people

#about me #tag games #mine

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firebirdsdaughter · 2 years

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Ugh…

… One consistent issue I have w/ NUMB3RS, besides Liz and the show’s occasional unfortunate choices, is how often disagreements between the brothers get boiled down to ‘Don is bad and wrong for not just completely trusting Charlie bc he’s So Good At Math’ esp in the later seasons, and how it ends in Charlie going ‘I told you so’ rather than acknowledging any complexities and, le gasp, maybe apologising to Don for issues he does cause and cruel things he does say. And what, I’m just supposed to take his side bc he’s the main ‘genius’???

In 4x10 Charlie acts like a massive brat bc Don is stressed out and doesn’t have time for him to give a long winded explanation. He seems to acknowledge that it’s not Don’s fault for five seconds, then immediately goes back to acting all nasty and entitled. Even some rando dude they just met gets in on it, and Charlie actually makes a fucking comment about it??? How much of a shit can you be??? And before anyone gets on this, I’m a younger sibling. Yes, I’m very close to my sister, but I’d never in a million years make jerkass comments to her like that in that situation just bc I thought I knew better, no matter how well I knew the field. Not w/out an apology and an explanation is was a reaction to stress.

There’s large parts of the show that are an excellent, touching story of these two reconnecting, but periodically, it goes into just making out like Don’s completely in the wrong for not doing things Charlie’s way and Charlie is allowed to act like a conceited dickhead about it. This really bothers me bc I’m more of the Don in my sibling relationship and it’s really upsetting to see him get treated like this and it be portrayed as right. Like I saw someone shitting on him for ‘not apologising’ and I’m like. When does anyone actually apologise to Don, esp Charlie??? Very early on in s1 they acknowledge, and occasionally remember, how… Well, not intentionally, but, semi neglected Don was bc of how ‘special’ Charlie was. As a sibling w/ a lot of self esteem issues centred around her sister, I really relate to that, and I feel like it gets… I dunno, it suddenly resurfaces in the rwong way from time to time. Charlie is just ‘right’ bc he’s the genius and Don should just be listening to him all the time bc he’s so ‘special.’ Clearly people who think that Don’s reactions and issues are irrational/his fault have never had these issues w/ a sibling. Bc let me tell you, it is exhausting and draining to sit in a corner alone while everyone fusses over your sibling’s talents—and I am very close to my sister.

This is a little why I wanted Don to get hurt more. ^^; I wanted Charlie to have acknowledge Don’s issues more. We get a few eps, but I just don’t feel like it was enough, esp w/ the episodes that periodically treat Don like crap for struggling w/ having Charlie invade something that was his and get treated like he’s better at it and always right.

At least 4x10 had some great David and Colby stuff to justify its existence.

#Firebird Opinions #had to put that Liz shit in there huh?#doesn't help much that it's immediately followed by Don justifiably being angry at Charlie and getting told off for it #episode-wise I mean #Don would take a bullet for this kid and he's just such a… a shit sometimes #like the instant Charlie's in danger Don will drop everything for him #but we only really get a few moments of like #Charlie getting conceited and Don being hurt bc of it and people acknowledging that #like what Charlie does stupid shit and when Don gets upset they all go against him #but when Charlie's all upset everyone still takes his side #he just feels so spoiled some times #I dunno just rubs me the wrong way on occasion

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kdfrqqg · 7 years

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Women only

Dean x Reader Word count: 2.1k Summary: The guys call you to help out on a case after not seeing you for a long time. The reader has a secret that she has to tell them. Warnings: description of violence, smut, language, ABO-ish (not ABO though), talk of suicide, the plot is kinda corny but I hope you get a laugh.

A/N: This was written for @impala-dreamer ’s One Prompt for All Challenge. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to kill me.”

The next morning, Sam had scheduled an appointment at the Day Spa. You got there and the receptionist said, “Ms. (Y/L/N), your husband has already paid for you to get a mani/pedi, facial and massage.” Your eyes lit up with a smile, “He did!” All the boys said was to have a good time and try and find the source of the ghost’s powers. You had no idea that they were going to have you completely pampered. You walked back to the locker room and slipped on a robe on for your massage when you saw her. Your ESP was on full alert since you turned, the spirit just hung there in the day spa it was heartbreaking. No one else could see her, only you. On display in a shadow box next to the salon were lockets of hair, you only could assume one of those was hers. Someone must have thought this would be a cool hipster thing to do, not realizing what they really did. You text the boys the news and they said to still enjoy yourself. The ghost wasn’t bothersome at all but you knew it wasn’t long before she would become even more vengeful. You enjoyed your time at the spa and that massage was fucking amazing. Later that evening, the three of you broke in and torched the shadow box. You stepped back from the flames; you had forgotten that now you were instinctually scared of fire. You watched as the spirit flamed out before your eyes. “You guys know, you didn’t really need my help on this one.” You sighed. “Yeah, probably but it’s still good to have you here.” Dean admitted putting his arm around your waist.

Dean insisted that he ride with you back to the bunker probably so you wouldn’t try and ditch them. The drive felt like it took forever and his scent was so potent and stimulating. You had been feeling your heat stir in your core since the morning; you had only experienced it once before four months ago. Garth had informed you that they would come once a season and maybe more if you were around someone who you were attracted to. Dean had no idea what was going on but you were starting to sweat and by the time you got the bunker you were ready to go. You practically ran back to your old room trying to hide from Dean. You hadn’t had sex since you turned and you didn’t know what would happen to your partner if you did. After about two hours, you heard a knock. You knew it was Dean you could hear his heart beat, it was so strong and steady and you could smell him through the door. God, you needed him more than anything. You swung the door open, grabbed his shirt by the collar and pulled him into your room like a woman unhinged, your lips crashed against his. You twirled him around while you kicked the door shut, his buttons shot onto the floor as you ripped the front of his flannel. You flung him on the bed, you were anything but gentle, you tore off your shirt over your head, climbing on top of him, he watched as your breasts bounced, he moaned as you ground down on his clothed cock. You shredded his undershirt with your fingernails, you had to feel his chest next to your flesh. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to kill me.” He breathed out with a slightly scared chuckle. You hummed, “What a way to go, right?” You said cocking your eyebrow. He smirked, grabbing the back of your head forcefully kissing you, his tongue sweeping into your mouth. “God, you feel wonderful, but what’s gotten into you?” “I’m in heat!” You groaned. “Heat?” He questioned between kisses. “Yeah, heat like what dog’s go through. I just need you to fuck me.” You informed him. “Ok!” He answered almost shocked by your statement. When you were human, you were so timid in bed and you and Dean only had sex maybe three times before and they were always kind loving experiences and you never took control. You peeled his jeans and underwear off him as he toed his shoes off dropping them on the bedroom floor causing a loud thud. He in turn helped to work you out of your bottoms. His dick was long and beautiful; you were going to ride him so hard tonight. Then your human side took over for a second, you ran to your bag and drew out a condom. “You’re not on the pill anymore?” Dean asked. “The pill doesn’t really work on werewolves. I’d recommend you put that on unless you want little baby wolves running around here.” You educated him. He didn’t argue and rolled the condom down his shaft. You pushed him back on the bed as you climbed on top of him and you sank down on his cock, you weren’t in any mood for foreplay. Your hips gyrated up and down his length. His hands cupped your breasts, tweaking your nipples. One hand moved to your mouth, you kissed his hand sensually. You were moving so fast and he was stretching you out so perfectly. You could feel that you were going to cum soon. “I’m not going to last long if you keep going so fast.” He let out. “I don’t care just keep fucking me.” you yelled. Dean was so good as taking orders. He thrusted even harder up into your pussy; his fingers digging into your skin on your hips. You screamed, “God! Oh God! Yes!” Your breath hiccupped, “Don’t stop! Right there!” His cock kept propelling itself deeper and deeper into you. You had never felt so much passion before, so free. Sure being a werewolf sucked in so many ways but this was not one of them. You felt your body start to convulse, your walls closed around Dean’s dick as you came screaming his name. He found his release as you found yours. You fell on top him, your heat had subsided, and both of you were out of breath and sweaty. “That was different.” He chuckled. “Yeah, it was. I’m sorry for using you like that.” You whispered in his ear. “I’m not. I’ve wanted to do that since last night. I’ve missed you so much.” He kissed your shoulder. “Yeah, me too obviously but I probably should leave tomorrow.” You told him. He ran his hands through your hair forcing you to look at him, “No, no. You aren’t going anywhere. You’re back and you’re staying here. We can talk about us later but I want you here.” You never realized how much you needed him to say that. You fell asleep in his strong secure arms, his scent comforting you as you dreamed of a new beginning with him. Women only Part two

Honestly, I really do want your feedback!! It may determine how I write my next fic.

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#dreamer's op4a challenge #dean x reader #dean x reader smut #dean x werewolf reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn #spn fanfic #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction

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antiwestallen · 7 years

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So, i am in a process of compiling reasons why Flash should get rid of WA - feel free to redact , add more and argue with any of the points below. 1. WA is incestous. This is a point that gets most of WAs reeling, because “Barry and Iris don’t see each other as brother and sister”. But. Barry is adopted into West family after his mother dies and father is arrested, he grows up with Joe and Iris and calls Joe his dad (and the other way around), and they all call each other a family. I agree, Barry and Iris never acknowledge each other as brother and sister, but Iris’s behavior throughout pretty much all of season 1 confirms she sees Barry only as her nerdy adoptive brother and a friend, but not as a potential boyfriend material. As a comparison : let’s take Alex and Kara from Supergirl. Would you call their pairing incest? I am sure you would. But it is almost exactly the same story as the WA - an orphaned child gets adopted by a family where an adoptive sibling becomes her best friend. The only difference is that Kara and Alex are both females (and yes, as of now Kara is positioned as straight- but judging by the longing looks she gives Lena Luthor, I bet she is a bi). 2. Barry’s obsession with Iris is unhealthy. It is rooted in his deep psychological trauma and loneliness, sort of a coping mechanism for the emotional bubble he ended up in after his mother’s death. He is very isolated when he grows up, and of course he focuses on Iris who is his only friend at that time - and one of a very few sources of emotional support. Once he hits puberty, his connection to Iris turns sexual (while Iris’s doesn’t). No matter how much you paint his obsession with Iris as cute or romantic or “true love”- it is not. It is very unhealthy to be so focused on one person (for over a decade! ) that you are incapable of forming a long lasting healthy relationship with another. 3. It is forced. If Eddie hasn’t conveniently kicked the bucket in season 1, WA would not have happened (or would’ve, but much much later down the road). The whole theory of WA being the true love is pushed on the viewers in form of constant verbal confirmations and “visions from the future” - which to me is not very convincing. As a matter of fact, i find it rather disturbing that Iris only starts considering and convincing herself that she loves Barry after she is constantly pushed into it by Barry and Joe (also, I personally find Joe’s fetish shipping of two of his children appalling). She shows literally no sign of being interested in Barry right until she learns he is the Flash. She is also completely oblivious about his feelings (which i find very hard to believe, esp if they are supposed to be best friends- no one can be THAT blind, esp not a cops daughter and a talented journalist), OR, which i think is more likely- she simply ignores them because she doesn’t feel the same way. -> a side note- Iris’s “path” to being in love with Barry could’ve been done much more organically. Say, if Eddie didn’t die, but over the time Iris found herself more and more drawn to Barry, eventually breaking up with Eddie on her own accord. But i guess it’s too much to ask of the writers- they’d rather just throw the female character into a relationship cause who cares about her development anyway, right? 4. It brings out the worst in both Iris and Barry. True love and a perfect relationship should make both sides better, should push them to strive for excellence. But this is the opposite of what we got right after WA becomes canon: Barry immediately becomes OC and stops caring about pretty much anyone but Iris once he gets into her pants - but this is not the Barry we all fell in love with in season 1. Where is the compassion, where is the comraderie, where is the care he always displayed towards original Starlabs team? Same happens to Iris. As soon as there is a change of the wind towards WA, she becomes selfish and possessive. Remember that brief moment of mental clarity when Barry decided to try and get over his obsession with Iris? He even started wooing Lynda. But as soon as Iris felt she was loosing Barry’s attention she went on and screwed that relationship up. (And yes, she was verbally supportive of Barry’s relationships- but actions speak louder than words). As Killer Frost said- As long as you get what you want, it doesn’t matter who gets screwed in the process. And that’s true for both of them. 5. It lacks chemistry. This one is probably the most subjective, but for me, personally, WA doesn’t seem to have any romantic chemistry whatsoever. I can compare that to Westhawne that was cute and seemed very organic, or to Snowbarry, that is not yet canon but still sparks fly in every Caitlin-Barry scene, or even to Coldflash (Captain Cold and the Flash)- cause damn, even Captain Cold and Barry have more chemistry than the WA! I also can’t stop myself from comparing WA to other 2 “iconic” interracial relationships of my 2 fave shows- Bamon (Bonnie and Damon on Vampire Diaries) and Ichabbie (Ichabod and Abbie Mills on Sleepy Hollow), and when i do, WA loses every time. Where Bamon is fireworks of chemistry, WA is a bland aggregation of romantic cliches; where Icchabie is a perfect example of friendship-turned-to-love and relationship pushing both sides to be better and stronger, WA is a toxic mess that forces both sides to make irrational and costly mistakes. And all that while WA is the only one that is canon. What a waste of opportunity. 6. It reduced Iris to a useless damsel in distress aka just a prompt for Barry’s storyline. Where is Iris’s character development? The moment WA got together, Iris lost all her autonomy and any hints of development. Where is the renown journalist Iris that got even Snart complimenting her? Where is an undercover investigator Iris who got a pulitzer prize for her writing? Where is all of that? Why is Iris reduced to being Barry’s girlfriend? She had so much potential, but now she is nothing more but a prop for Barry’s storyline. She constantly spends time in Starlabs, taking on duties usually done by other characters (esp Caitlin) - when she should be investigating and writing articles. I am not a big fan of Iris but this is just a waste of a potentially very interesting character, and i don’t understand how WAs can call themselves Iris fans when they support such a degrading treatment of her by the writers.

#anti westallen #the Flash

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years

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Tommy & Ali

Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL

Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃

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wendyimmiller · 5 years

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Gardening When You Really Don’t Wanna

The most dreaded thing I’ve ever had to face was to be dragged along while my mom took my sisters shopping. Any time this happened, it was beyond awful. A purgatory of boredom and sadness that could last anywhere from endless to eternal.

Picture it this way: I’m an otherwise happy, well-adjusted 5-8 year old boy, but I’m being held hostage in a cavern of clothes racks at some store for the 6th or 7th hour and my arm is being held straight up above my head. All the blood it ever contained has drained from it hours ago, my wrist is gripped white-knuckled tight by an unbelievably strong, terrifyingly frustrated, and appallingly unsympathetic mother, and she is yanking my arm right and left to emphasize each and every syllable–my whole body violently following each yank–from some variation of a sentence that starts with “Mister, you had…” and ends with …”something to cry about.”

Any expedition to go buy clothes was like this. Totally unendurable. But the worst of the worst death marches were treks for Easter outfits. Worse than that? Shoes. Easter outfits? I want to cry right now just thinking about it. What absolute zero is to physics about describes the absolute misery caused by Easter shopping. But, somehow, shopping for shoes was even worse.

There is no telling the amount of pain that went into making this photograph possible.

If I remember right, the main issue with shoes was that one of my sisters had skinny little feet and, for her, there were always several choices of adorably cute shoes. Amazing how much time could leave the universe while deciding exactly which pair, but at the end of the day she went home with nice shoes. On the other hand, my other sister had wide feet and needed “corrective” shoes. This was the double whammy of terrible luck for her and me. The best she ever found were shoes that nuns wouldn’t even wear. Me? A fate that consigned me to dangle from one arm in store after store after store as my mother led us all–wild in sorrow–in an ever widening migration of despair, shoe store to shoe store in what we all knew was a vain pursuit of a cute pair of wide “corrective” shoes.

The sound of this misery–moaning, whining, complaining, crying, and my mother’s hissing, cursing attempts to make it stop–steadily built to a crescendo of unhappiness that–thinking about it–NASA should have recorded and then perpetually beamed into space so as to deter hostile aliens from having any interest in our planet.

Anyway, this is how I spent somewhere around a quarter of my childhood.

And this same level of misery about describes a quarter of my gardening chores. That’s right. Gardening ain’t all wine and roses. You see, I’m not in it for the motions. I don’t garden because I like to push a mower around the yard in a certain pattern. I never have a hankering to go turn a compost heap, or haul brush to the woods, or spread 15-20 yards of mulch. I don’t like trying to figure out why my well-pump isn’t working, and it’s been a very long time since I found anything compelling about digging a hole.

Those activities are merely a means to an end, and the end is a beautiful garden with all the benefits therein: a backyard oasis, a refuge for wildlife, and a safe place to enjoy the sweetest kind of peace on Earth. Bonus credits for a contented wife, adulation from strangers during garden tours, and for a green vegetative kind of privacy that allows open, carefree peeing in the middle of the backyard at any time on any given day during the growing season.

Indeed. All this, not pulling weeds, is why I garden.

And yet even as we speak, here in football season, I have sacks and sacks of bulbs to plant before the ground freezes. It’s been a hard year, I’m kind of gardened out, and no matter how much I try to focus any ESP powers I’ve got, those bulbs just are not going to plant themselves. This, all because I heard Brent Heath speak back in May, got all excited, and placed a big order.

So I will do what I’ve always done: make excuses, put the task off, and try not to think about it too much. And I will do these things for week after week. In certain times when I’m feeling the urgency more greatly, I’ll quietly wish for an injury or a breakdown that will serve as an adequate excuse for failing to get them planted. Eventually however, the day will inevitably come when there’s no room for even one more second of procrastination.

And there I’ll be, on my knees, cold, slimy soil chilling me to my bones, a bitter wind rasping at my face, trying not to smell the dog crap that got on my jeans because it was camouflaged in the leaves, and suffering strange, phantom jerking motions in my right arm. Inside, on TV, The Ohio State Buckeyes are defeating Michigan again. There’s guacamole on the counter. Beer in the fridge. But I’m not inside. I’m outside, and cursing the hell out of that smooth talking Brent Heath.

Another time it’ll be summer. 100 degrees out. And I’ll be cutting down a skanky old crabapple and every single twisty, pokey, gnarly, and ugly branch will have made up its mind to fight me every step of the way. Whatever I want, they’ll want the opposite. They’ll gouge at my eyes. They’ll gash my skin. Nasty, itchy stuff will fall down the back of my shirt. I’ll be sweating, bleeding, and pissed off. There will be no easy angle to position for any single cut. Brush will tangle underfoot. Each of a hundred logs will not stack without a brute force battle of wills, and not one piece of brush will go into the truck and stay there until I’ve discovered–by endless repetition only–the mystical combination of cuss words that will unlock the system. And it’ll suck.

A crabapple displaying full on winter interest in the middle of summer.

Or, it’s mid spring in Ohio and like a complete freakin’ idiot I again jumped the gun and planted out a bunch of tender stuff. I get home from work after dark, it’s 35F and raining, and they’re calling for a hard frost. And, like a damned soul in a Renaissance painting, I’ll inconsolably drag myself outside, and for the next fours hours I will–in fits and starts–construct the world’s twelfth largest shanty town in the backyard from whatever little bits of scrap wood, chunks of rock and rubble, some string, tape, old sheets, blankets, and filthy leftover plastic sheeting I can find in a panicked effort to save a bunch of annuals, tropicals, vegetables, and some expensive fern that Tony Avent said was hardy to Zone 7b, (at least) from a cold, lonely, continental, Z6a, untimely death.

Fun times.

Here’s what follows that: You drag yourself back inside, take a forever long hot shower, down a few shots, and, sitting there as surly as sin, you think really dark and dirty thoughts. Other people aren’t doing this shit. Other people live in condos. They have their thermostats set at “Giant-Ass Carbon Footprint.” So warm they’ve been forced to strip down to teddies and speedos. They’ve over-eaten a fabulous dinner and drank a bottle of wine they don’t even know enough to appreciate. Yep, you were having a cold, wet piece of plastic that smelled mind-blowingly bad whipping back and forth across your face as you, both hands engaged, tried to tack it down over a row of tomato plants, and those condo people were living a bacchanalian existence. And you loathe them.

And, yet, you garden on.

Honestly, I’m mystified. Where does the fortitude come from that gets gardeners outside to suffer through odious tasks under miserable circumstances simply because they need to be done? I don’t know. Really don’t. But I’ve done it. Over and over and over again. And my gardening friends have all done it too. I don’t know, reminds me of something that parents used to toss off at you with a smirk: “Hey, it builds character.” Maybe gardeners have that.

But, I will say this. Winter is long and it dies hard. It rears its ugly head again and again before it’s finally defeated, and there ain’t no better tonic for that than the almost tearful joy a garden full of blooming bulbs brings. They fill the heart, God bless them, combating cold and gray with color and fragrance.

And then comes summer. Hot and humid. Sometimes you just want to run from the house to the car, from the car to the office, and then back again. A/C to A/C. An inside, artificial existence devoid of anything that stokes our human nature. But under a shade tree you’ve tended for years, you can enjoy a tall drink and the hordes of butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds that come to visit that Lantana you saved. And then can pick some of your own tomatoes right from the vine and bring them in for the BLTs you’ll have for supper.

Some other time you’ll find yourself looking at the empty space where a scabby, rusty crabapple once lived, and you will take huge and vicious satisfaction in knowing that it was living its hideous existence and then you sawed it down. It was ugly and now it’s not. It’s gone. And you’re totally responsible. And, yet, you live as a free man. You feel no guilt. Nope. You feel joy. It poked your eyes. It raked your skin. It hurt your back. But all that’s over now. You’ve got a drink, and you’re smiling almost fiendishly as you enjoy the lovely aromas of ribs roasting in its smoldering wood.

You just try not to think too much about the stump you chose not to grub out. Nor that day sometime in the future when you’ll roll in a 400-pound, balled and burlaped, plant du jour that some speaker at some conference got you all excited about. Yeah. Sure enough. That day will come, and it will be woeful. But that’s just how it is. That’s how it’s meant to be. To have this, you gotta do that. And you’d have it no other way.

Gardening When You Really Don’t Wanna originally appeared on GardenRant on September 25, 2019.

from Gardening https://www.gardenrant.com/2019/09/gardening-when-you-really-dont-wanna.html via http://www.rssmix.com/

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turfandlawncare · 5 years

Text

Gardening When You Really Don’t Wanna

Picture it this way: I’m an otherwise happy, well-adjusted 6-8 year old boy, but I’m being held hostage in a cavern of clothes racks at some store for the 6th or 7th hour and my arm is being held straight up above my head. All the blood it ever contained has drained from it hours ago, my wrist is gripped white-knuckled tight by an unbelievably strong, terrifyingly frustrated, and appallingly unsympathetic mother, and she is yanking my arm right and left to emphasize each and every syllable–my whole body violently following each yank–as she repeats some variation of a sentence that starts with “Mister, you had…” and ends with …”something to cry about.”

Any expedition to go buy clothes was like this. Totally unendurable. But the worst of the worst death marches were treks for Easter outfits and shoes. Easter outfits? I want to cry right now just thinking about it. What absolute zero is to physics about describes the absolute misery caused by Easter shopping. But shopping for shoes was even worse.

There is no telling the amount of pain that went into making this photograph possible.

If I remember right, the main issue with shoes was that one of my sisters had skinny little feet and, for her, there were always several choices of adorably cute shoes. Amazing how much time could leave the universe deciding which pair. Ridiculous. But so much worse was this. My other sister had wide feet and needed “corrective” shoes. This was the double whammy that consigned me to dangle from one arm in store after store after store as my mother led us all–wild in sorrow–in an ever widening migration of despair, shoe store to shoe store in what we all knew was a vain pursuit of a cute pair of wide “corrective” shoes.

The sound of this misery–moaning, whining, complaining, crying, and my mother’s hissing, cursing attempts to make it stop–steadily built to a crescendo of unhappiness that NASA should have recorded and then perpetually beamed into space so as to deter hostile aliens from ever having any interest in our planet.

Anyway, this is how I spent somewhere around a quarter of my childhood.

Yes. All this, not pulling weeds, is why I garden.

And yet even as we speak I have sacks and sacks of bulbs to plant before the ground freezes. And it’s football season. It’s been a hard year, I’m kind of gardened out, and no matter how much I try to focus any ESP powers I’ve got, those bulbs just are not going to plant themselves. This, all because I heard Brent Heath speak back in May, got all excited, and placed a big order.

A crabapple displaying full on winter interest in the middle of summer.

Fun times.

And, yet, you garden on.

Gardening When You Really Don’t Wanna originally appeared on GardenRant on September 25, 2019.

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