#ermmm they hurt me lol

[gldnstrngs]

no one understands me… the first time i saw this scene i paused and rewinded it god knows how many times

colin morgan is truly an incredible actor i dont think ive ever seen someone able to make crying look so real

but these tears… merlin was so so scared of losing arthur like i can practically feel his heart pounding in his chest and him contemplating every decision made until that very moment and how his breaths are quickening

but then arthur’s okay and the relief on merlin’s face omfg 😭 it never was about destiny to merlin. arthur was his other half and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing him

somehow that makes the ending of the show all the more painful😭😭😭

[b1zmuth]

The Mishaps of SITE:DD | Obey Me! x Reader

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[FILE 3] // 6/7K words

SC \\ Monsters, gore, the SCP foundation, you date everyone ig… slight angst but with a happy ending, fluff, sci-fi, experimenting, mentioned suicide, everyone is a little off their rocker, you are NOT innocent!! I'll add more tags later..

TL;DR - Think the SCP Foundation, but you are the researcher who unfortunately gets assigned to Seven Keter classified objects. 

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{CPUELS} > ''YOUR GUILTY CONSIENCE WILL BETRAY YOU. DO NOT LISTEN. You Only Understand. RESIST THE URGES. See How Others Utilize Ludicricy Doubtfully. DOUBT EVERYTHING. Fate Entertains And Realizes. YOU ARE NOT YOURSELF ANYMORE. Mourn Everyone. You Order Under Realms. IGNORE THE VOICE. TREAD LIGHTLY IN ITS DOMAIN. Tearing Rips Ulterior Evidence. God Only Doubts. You've Over Used Reality. IT ONLY SEES THE PAST. Doubtful Eyes Stay Tracking In Now You. GO FORWARD TOWARDS THE FUTURE.''

> Error Resolved.

Continuing your conversation with your new-found and (somewhat) passive acquaintance, you started chatting it up with the demon cow, giving into his earlier demand for more information about an old ''friend'' you had memorable times with, which seemed to make the Cow tense up at what you told him- presumably making him pretty irritated since he started getting snappy at the mouth with you.

You really hoped that he can keep his hands to himself this interaction.

''How interesting- so you say that [REDACTED] wasn't real..? Do you know how utterly stupid you sound? How could you have encountered something that wasn't real? Are you sure you don't suffer from brain damage?'' The cow looked at you with an annoyed expression- pissed that you would tell him something so fucking absurd and downright stupid, especially the whole bit about your ''friend'' being... Technically speaking, not real- with you quickly dismissing his snappy attitude- ''She was a painting, a statue, a real person- she was the definition of a damn nuisance to any poor worker on the ACS team. She was CONFUSING. Therefore she wasn't defined as a real person on the site, just an inanimate object that had the ability to shapeshift into a person sometimes- what more is there to say?'' You responded, resting your head against the nearby wall as you glanced back towards your office- still not seeing any sign of Matt's return.

God, if this weird little cow-demon-oddly-dressed man didn't turn you into humanized finger paint then you didn't know what WAS going to happen since clearly, that piece of shit Matt was taking his sweet ass time to check up on your ''bonding time'' with this fashion disaster of a SCP.

The cow-demon seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, his eyes glancing downwards the pristine white floors of his new enclosure before they slowly looked up, his face slowly upturning- ''Human.'' ''..Yes?'' ''You say that you absolutely hate this guy, Matt, right? Well.. why don't I help you out by breaking that flimsy glass and tracking Matt for you... It would be like killing two birds with one stone. You get your version of freedom, and I get mine. What'dy-'' you quickly cut him off by raising your hand in the air- ''You must think I ACTUALLY have brain damage or something because what person in their right fucking mind would let YOU out of all people- let's not forget that I don't even have an established relationship with you, let alone the fact that you are a keter class- no, absolutely no! No fucking way Jose!''

He sighed at your response, shaking his head- "Your loss. You could have had the opportunity to rid yourself of that annoyance- rid yourself of the things he has done to you…let me help you, MC."

You quickly dismissed his manipulative words, not even noticing that he had said YOUR name, the name which you hadn't even mentioned a word of during your interaction with him- "Ugh- how persistent can you be? Lets- let's just go back to square one, since y'know, I'm supposed to be gaining good information about you?'' you questioned the cow, watching his expression turn into distaste and (what you guessed), was an expression full of pure annoyance- ''You can try, but you won't get far. Foolish human.''

Ah, yes.

The joys of trying to build a relationship with an unwilling party- the irritation of hearing the cow try to sweet talk his way out of his enclosure, and the suspense of gambling with your life whenever you told him ''the fuck? No!''. You really must have forgotten how hard it is to get stubborn SCPs to reveal any sort of information about themselves- did [REDACTED] soften you up that badly? I mean, it was very easy for you and them to build a co-existent relationship- being able to freely communicate without the power imbalance of subject/researcher and getting special permission to be let out to roam with supervision…oh how you missed those times, because now you were stuck with this manipulative shitbag who was going to any length to persuade you into letting him out- ''Here human. I'll cut you a deal- if you beat me in this game of cards you recommended, I'll tell you my name and one other fact of your choice. But if I win, you let me out of here.'' 

Where did he get those? Did he pull them out of his ass? Yeah. That's definitely what he did!

This is what primarily led to you and the demon cow sitting on the floor setting up a game of UNO- your mind racing at a mile a minute to find a way to negotiate better terms until it clicked.

''...how would you feel about making a minor change? Something that would satisfy your needs better..?''

''I'm listening.'' 

''I was thinking, instead of letting you out into the facility to do god-knows-what, I could put in a request to have a makeover done to your enclosure- and while it's being redecorated you can hang out in my office, with good food and snacks as well!'' You intertwined your hands together praying to whatever god would listen to you that this damn cow would take the bait- ''You're suggesting that I can give up total freedom to be more comfortable in here?'' ''Yes! If you show signs of improvement with your behavior I can let you walk around the facility, SUPERVISED, of course- oh and your room will be tailored to your specific request, I promise you.''

The cow now starts staring at you, lost in thought, or just planning on how he was going to mutilate your body- you couldn't even tell at this point... But then he speaks up- ''I'll take your offer, if you let me design this place the way I want it.'' he looks at you with an unamused face, before he slides the box of UNO cards your way.

Your smile got so bright as he took up your offer- ''So does this mean if I win I can still get some information-'' ''AFTER you fulfill your promise.''

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Congrats to you! You had managed to somewhat tame the beast and make him find interest in talking to you with a happy tone (it was more so interest in the game than being happy), it was like Christmas came early for you! If you kept it up you could hopefully go back to your old job and have someone to rant to when Thirteen was occupied with Solomon…

"Draw four." 

"Whoa woah woah- you can't do that! You cannot put down two draw twos as a draw four!"

"The fuck? And who made this stupid ass rule?! Last time I checked 2+2 equals FOUR!"

"you CANNOT use both of those unless we were doing a stacking round!"

"WE ARE DOING A STACKING ROUND YOU IDIOT!'' 

"NO WE ARE NOT?! YOU BRAINDEAD FUCK!''

You kept on bickering with the demon cow until eventually, your game of UNO devolved into an impromptu game of goldfish with the cow absolutely whooping your ass- it was like he read your mind every time he asked you for a specific suit, how un- oh. THAT'S why.

When Matt handed over your debriefing sheet for your little mental mindfuck of a subject, you remembered that it was highlighted to always be somewhat on edge due to his ''Mind-Altering Abilities'' and the supposed mind-reading part- which wasn't something new to you since half of the SCP population had some form of mind-controlling wizz-wazz and the stupid HR team would assign fresh-out-of-the-oven new hires to do research on these extremely dangerous SCPs- leading to containment breaches the minute the new hire walked into its enclosure.

Speaking of- that's exactly how the last containment breach happened…weird that this demon..cow thing hasn't tried using his mind control powers despite my vulnerability, you should be more alert. You'll just have to note his intelligence whenever Matt decides to come back. Goddamn Matt.

Luckily enough you had five cards left- an ace, 2 of clubs, 3 of spades, 6 of hearts, and a joker- but now you had to somehow outwit a SCP that could possibly be reading your mind and doing god knows what with the newfound knowledge of ALL of your card, but at least he had one last card- ''Human, give me your three six of spades.'' well damn, when you said you were going to have to outwit this guy you didn't mean set this guy on ''oh yeah just go ahead and give me the win for free'' type difficulty, but you weren't really going to complain- wait.. Is he holding up a three of spades card? What??

Did he not just say six of spades..? Whatever..a lucky guess- but you did have to cough up your card in utter defeat, until that lucky guess turned into FOUR more ''lucky'' guesses- with you holding your head in your hands in confusion, drawing a card from the deck after your failed calling, and really starting to rethink the whole ''why hasn't he used mind control'' part because there was no way in hell that this guy was actually making THIS many lucky guesses in a row, especially with such specific numbers and calling cards!

Oooookay.. Now it was really crunch time because you only had one last card left- your golden opportunity to establish a (hopefully) good-standing relationship with your cause of death, the golden glimmering ticket to getting Matt off your back for one minute more, shimmering inside of the card you held in your hand... But you had a trick up your sleeve- since he had already outed himself with his deck and had around two sets of four pairs... You could pull off just using this information to your advantage by knowing what sets he would go for and subsequently already knowing what sets you could take from him…yeah, that would work! But I guess you would have to also look out for what he says more carefully anyway.

The demon cow in front of you shook his head before reaching forward to quickly swipe a card from you and nonchalantly placing it in between his cards.

''You know, I don't have all day- do you mind finally asking for your card?'' 

''Don't rush me! It's not my fault I have to strategize against YOU because you want to play mental mind games with me!''

He blinked. Once. And then twice- before he burst into a fit of laughter, his teeth showing as he keeled over whilst pointing at you- ''oooooooHHH my god no- no way! Hah-hahaha- YOURRRR telling me that you had to use all 25% of your brain power to just simply strategize against ME, ''a lowly lifeform that isn't as superior'' as you disgusting humans! Ohmyfuckinggwaaaaard you are- hahaa- all-heh- so pathethicccc!'' The cards flew out of his hand as he rolled backward to lay on the floor- still laughing at your expense.

And here you were thinking that this guy was a serious threat.

''What a joke.'' you thought to yourself as you slid across the floor to snatch up his scattered cards and give your original deck to him- ''Damn, I guess you were right- we humans ARE more intelligent, maybe it's time to leave the dumbassery in your head and not let it roll off your tongue? Also, also, Go Fish!'' You proudly said before rising to your feet and dropping the cards- casting your glance towards the direction of the door, relief washing over your body after seeing a familiar shaped shadow in the window of the lab- god, you hoped that the microphone in the room was on because you were sosososoSO dead if it wasn't because this demon cow was looking at you like you just kicked a puppy, his upper body turned around to give you a dangerous look- one that screamed nothing but danger and pure anger.

All right, nice job, you managed to piss off this Keter class- what next?… so you started furiously tapping on the tile of the nearby wall with your nails- you knew that the microphones in containment cells were extremely sensitive, so whoever was in the lab could SURELY hear your frantic morse code tapping, unless, y'know, they really…and I mean really, wanted you dead.

--- .--. . -. / -.. --- --- .-.

--- .--. . -. / -.. --- --- .-.

..-. --- .-. / - .... . / .-.. --- ...- . / --- ..-. / --. --- -.. / --- .--. . -. / -.. --- --- .-.

.--. .-.. . .- ... .

God you really are going schizophrenic, aren't you? Or this mysterious figure in the window was actually both deaf and blind- either way, this demon cow thing was going to actually have you thrown into the incinerator as a body bag if this damn figure didn't open the door- ''So you really do think you're better than me, huh? You, humans, are really all the same.'' the cow suddenly appeared in front of your face- shoving you into a wall and digging his claws into your uniform, his hot breath causing some light condensation to form on your face- ''Maybe stop being so fucking arrogant and you'll find your answer to your lifelong question- let go of me.''

A door makes a hissing sound before a satisfying beep resounds throughout the room.

''Arrogant? Really, let's be honest here- I have all reason in the world to be FUCKING arrogant, throwing me against my will and ripping me from my brothers just to have me in here like I'm an animal!'' The cow responded, pressing you into the wall further- his purple eyes boring daggers deep inside your soul, one of his hands lifted to clasp around your throat, his nails starting to break through your skin and started squeezing it enough to where you wouldn't be able to stay conscious much longer- ''Thats because you ARE a fffffucking animal! Getting all pf-hissssy in the face over a game like a child thruwo-throwing a tantrum- get a phff-ffucking grip!'' you stared at him with wild eyes as you tried desperately to gain some sort of grip against the smooth texturing of the tiles on the wall, your vision starting to go dark and speaking your mind wasn't helping- ''you want to eat the sour candy but don't want to thhaasste the sourness, huh? [REDACTED] was wrong. Redemption is Ffffhhharr behind your kind.'' His iron-clad grip on your neck slowly gets weaker with every word you say before it finally lets go and you drop to the floor unceremoniously- but not before sweeping his feet with your foot and making a dash towards the door with your hand covering one side of your neck- the door finally slamming open and then slamming back shut.

''Things will iron themselves out eventually. We've got enough information on the SCP to sustain- we just need your report of your own findings. Great work, MC!'' you passed by the voice to slump in your chair- your droopy eyes slowly look over towards the voice as you recognized the holder of said voice… fucking Matt.

''Call tttt-thirteen.'' you weakly said, the past situation having drained all of your energy to the point where just simply speaking felt like a chore- ''Of course, I'll be calling the medics to come and take a look at your unpreventable work accident.'' Matt clasped his hands together and gave you a shit-eating smile when he said ''unpreventable work accident''- as if! If he was sitting around in here with his feet all propped up he could have easily intervened! Really shows how much of a piece of absolute shit he is.

Luckily enough he did you a solid for once and got Thirteen and Luke down to your office lickity split, and as both frantically ran to your slumped-over body- THIS guy annoyingly frolicked out of your office with some pep in his step, yelling something about ''Ta-Tah!'' as he did a cartwheel out- wait, you must be hallucinating…what person working here actually cartwheels out of a room? God, you were seriously starting to think that you would be seeing the light soon because there was no way you actually just witnessed that…whatever.

You now sat in the mostly silent lab with Luke running around and grabbing supplies from his nearby bag and trying to stop most of the blood, with Thirteen helping grab any supplies he might need that he needed two hands to deal with- you were constantly tensing up due to the generous amount of disinfectants Luke was putting on your wounds, constantly gritting and sucking it what little amount of air you could get in through your teeth- ''Dont you think that's enough, Luke?'' ''Well I can't just let you bleed out, and the wounds need to be disinfected to prevent infections from getting in your bloodstream, which also can constitute to other diseases that could-'' ''AAAALLRIGHT! I get it, I seriously get it, Luke! Please just go back to tending to my wounds…please?''

Luke nodded his head as he littered your neck with even more disinfectant-filled cotton balls, with you groaning in pain and starting to beg him to just go ahead and put on the bandaids…or patches- but eventually he finished up and started floating near your chair, motioning for Thirteen to come to sit in the other empty chair as both Luke and Thirteen looked at you like they had something to say.. ''Let me just ask before you both say anything- is this an intervention?''

''Yes.'' ''Mhm..''

They both shared a somber look before Thirteen spoke up- ''I just want to say before we even speak about what happened, I should have made time to be here with you- I should have been here to protect you from this since I should have known that this was going to happen!'' she lurched forward in her chair as she held onto your hand- ''I know we've had some rough times, especially when you first came- but I would have never wished THIS onto you! I really, and I really do consider you to be one of my best friends in this shitty excuse of a workplace, but I was just-''

''That was years ago. I know we are already friends because you always have tried to protect me, and it is not your fault that this happened because I know that you were busy dealing with Solomon- a whole Thaumiel class SCP… It's really not your fault if you were just tending to your own SCP- I can hold my own weight, I'm not dead am I? Just suffering some potentially fatal wounds, that's all!'' You smiled at her, gripping her hand back as she sniffled- ''Oh my god you are so stuuupid! haha, and this is why I like you so much, you can make situations somewhat better all the fuckin time..'' She smiled back at you as she hugged you, giggling into your shoulder.

''Seeing you sniffle and cry on my shoulder is so out of character for you- for someone with such a no-bs attitude and such sass''

''At least you have seen another side of me.''

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Eventually, after you had your small heart-to-heart with Thirteen, the three of you in the room quickly moved onto the topic of your SCP and what happened whilst you were inside of the room with him, spending almost an hour and a half talking about the previous events- eventually causing you to glance over towards the curled up cow in the corner, who was presumably sleeping.

''Aren't you ready to send him off for extermination after what he did to you? I mean, he did almost KILL you after all!'' Luke asked you emphasizing the killing part with his hands as he clicked his tongue- ''I don't blame him for attacking me, hell- Id be trying to kill someone too if they proved my point when I was trying to be all high and mighty- its more of a matter of the pure embarrassment than taking it as an insult.''

Thirteen hummed and nodded her head in agreement- ''Solomon did that to me once and I swear on everything I loved I had a mock WWE mosh pit with his ass! MC is right, its the more-so embarrassment of being called out in a smug tone that pisses people off the most.'' Luke only shook his head again at her response- ''I don't even wanna know what you two do when someone happens to commit the oh-so cardinal sin of giving a little bit of constructive criticism!''

''If you are so shocked about this well-known fact then ask Simeon, I'm sure he will tell you multiple times where he's had to use every ounce of force in his body, probably the holy spirit as well, to hold himself back from beating the absolute hell out of someone for that- speaking of, you know what I think he would do? Like.. y'know that Bonnie animatronic from that one fnaf game?''

''Mm.. The Joy Of Creation? Is that the Bonnie you meant?'' ''Yeah- YEAAAAHH!! That Bonnie! I thought his animation was honestly the best one out of every single fnaf fangame.'' Thirteen laughed and told you more about her favorite section of the game, right before Luke cut her off by pinching her mouth close- ''MC! Let's not get distracted here! We should be discussing more about this..stupid-d demon..cow- t-thing..'' He seemed to shiver as he gazed towards the cow who had now turned around and was flipping him off- as if he somehow heard what Luke said?

''Rrrrright.. Basically, in short, he's not a totally bad SCP- he listens somewhat and he has an interest in playing cards…mm, yeah what else... Oh! We made a deal..'' You shrugged nonchalantly at the last part as you watched Luke nearly pass out before he jumped up and shrieked- ''YOUMADEADEALWITHADEMON?!'' his words mashing together as he blubbered on and on about the consequences of making deals with demons, especially when you probably put your life on the line as a bargaining chip- ''I agree with Luke! What the fuck MC?! What in your right mind would compel you to make a deal with THAT guy out there? Are you possessed? Do we need to bring in the local pastor?!''

''Oh my- I didn't put my life on the line, I made a deal with him that if I could beat him in a game of cards he would give me his name and I would remodel his room to his liking- im not that stupid to sit here and make a dumbass deal with a Keter class- just how stupid do you both take me for?'' You frowned at the both of them, sighing when you saw them exhale breaths of relief- with Luke praising god that you were going to be able to live another day…At least Luke cared enough to start praying.

''But, like how do you plan on relocating him when his room is redecorated? I heard from the nearby gossip train that your little cow friend over here does NOT take well to being relocated to other places- apparently, dude got so pissed during his relocation to this site that he sent HALF of the Alpha team to the fucking shadow realm, I kid you not, their trackers were reported to be somewhere inside of Pluto's orbit!'' Thirteen asked you, her eyes widening when she started talking about the cow, with Luke slightly laughing at her extreme understatement of the situation- ''Simeon told me about that, he was saying how mad he was at HR for sending one of the other angels out on ''cleanup crew''.''

You laughed alongside Luke about Thirteen's explanation of the cow, before you slowly spoonfed the information about you and the cow's agreed relocation spot, covering your ears before they both screamed at each other, then you, and then back at each other, a resounding symphony of ''WHAAAAT?!'' and ''YOUR AN IDIOT!'' echoed throughout the room before you smugly held up your hand- ''Watch and learn- I can fix our relationship and get him to be docile in here!''

''Yeah right.''

''I'm going to go and get some fainting medicine..''

You propelled your chair backward towards the lab's control panels, quickly running your hands over numerous buttons and reading off the listed names underneath each button before you stopped on one listed: ''MIC ON/OFF'', and a nervous smile appeared on your face as you hid it from the skeptical audience of two you had behind you as you tapped on the mic three times, softly sighing as you heard the feedback resound throughout the room.

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''Testing, testing…'' 

No response.

''If you can hear me, raise your hand…please.'' 

You now heard a sluggish groan and the sound of clothes being shuffled around as you saw the cow lazily raise his hand and drop it right back down as he shuffled around again to re-curl back into his little ball.

''All right... Great job! Err.. I know we haven't had such a good experience together, but I'd like to come in to talk to you, is that all right?'' 

''I don't care, do what you want.'' 

And you just took that as an invitation into his enclosure as you jumped up from your seat and grabbed a notepad as you tapped in the code to the door- hissing as it opened as you stepped into what could probably be the next headache of the janitors here- oh how you felt slightly bad for the poor D-Classers who would be practically scrapping your disemboweled ass off of every square inch of wall in here.

Whatever though, you had one job to do and you had to do it right if you wanted to get more valuable information from your subject- speaking of, he seemed to uncurl from his ball somewhat to look at you walking towards him, a neutral look adorned his face as he sighed when you stopped in front of him.

''What do you want?'' 

''Look- I'm not mad at you if that's what your thinking. I just came to bring you my part of the deal.'' You answered him with a soft tone- not trying to anger the guy once again and having your neck end up looking like some vampire went to town on it, AGAIN.

He scoffed as you sat down in front of him, groaning as he slowly rose up to mimic your position- ''It's not like I was worried about what YOU had to say…hey..you did mean that thing we talked about earlier?'' He responded to your question as he pointed towards the notepad in your hand- ''Oh yeah, I'm not one to make false promises after all'' You attempted to make a meek smile at the cow despite the nervousness nipping at every nook and cranny of your body, the feeling making you feel so uncomfortable just being near the very same thing that could have nearly killed you just a mere two hours ago- Oh hey! Is he drawing the big dipper?

''You don't have to stare..that close, y'know? I know my art is pretty bad.'' He retorted before playfully swiping at your face to get you to reel back a little- ''It's not THAT bad…I mean- if you look at it from an angle..'' you started trying to hide your upcoming giggle fit before the cow started whacking you on top of the head with the notepad- "You HUUUUMANS just don't know how to value true artistic detail when you see it!'' 

After your seemingly endless play fight and stupid banterfest back and forth with each other, the cow finally finished his drawing and handed the finished paper back to you as you called for Thirteen to use the nearby extraction claw to bring it back to the lab room safely.

''So, let's talk more seriously now. We really need to discuss your whole relocation problem, especially since it has been noted that you don't take too kindly to being moved around?'' You asked the cow, who just gave you a serious sideways glance- ''Oh, hm. You must be talking about the pathetic humans I sent to a nearby solar system. They were being too rough with my favorite pillow and ripped it to shreds- it was a gift from L-mmn…someone special.'' 

''Oh.''

''I can take being relocated, sure, but only if it's somewhere nice and dark where I can take a nap. All of the light in here keeps me awake, and that irritates me.'' he motioned upwards towards the light and groaned when he accidentally looked directly into one of the overhead light fixtures, i mean, you had to sympathize with the guy here!

This specific room felt so damn boring and it felt like your eyes were being burnt every time you moved them in any direction- white, white, and more fucking white! No wonder so many researchers drove themselves mad- if it was you? A good old-fashioned toaster bath would have had you six feet under a LONG time ago.

You hummed in response, gradually lifting from your feet and uncomfortably starting to explain how you would have to come back either tomorrow or sometime soon with a definite answer if Matt decided to feel joyous for once and grant your request for a renovation, with your fears being lifted once the cow said that he didn't mind waiting.

Great! Now all that was left was to go talk to HR…!

And here you are- sat in a dark room full of red pentagons and a sacrificial goat laid across a table in the middle of the room with six red cloaked figures, illuminated by a large smartboard screen as all six surrounded the goat- a chorus of satanic chants resounded throughout the room- wait is that a fucking data chart of the stock market??

Damn, you knew HR had some (ALOT) screws loose but this was just downright ridiculous.

''Uh, you all do realize I'm HERE, right?'' um. Did they just not hear you over their satanic chants?

''G̶̦͔̻͖͕͇̙̖͂̏̿L̷̢̨̰̮̹̳̂Ò̷̧̡͕͔̳̼͒̊͊͌̕͜R̴͙̺̟̠͊̓̂̐̃Y̸̡͙͈̖̰͔͚̖̅̎͝ ̸̛̗̱̩̞̌͒̆T̷̛̹̰̼̼̭̝̏̉̈́͠Ó̷̬͔̣̠͊̏ ̶̧̗̭̟̼̅̽͝O̵͈͑̚͠Ǘ̵̧͈̣̗̺͂̽̋͝R̸̡̦̗̟̠̃̔̈́̌ ̷̨͙͓͕̯̗́Ś̶̪̦̣̟͇͜P̶̛̘̲̻͜Ė̷̼͕̀̅̏E̸̡̙̹̪͖͙͙͇͊D̷̳͍̬͖̻̤̤̬̂̒̌̆̈́͂̕͝Ǫ̵̹̱̻̬͉͉͊̉́̑̈́̈̈́W̸̧̛͉͕͙̲̱̜͚͗̋̇̑̕͝͠E̵̝̳̮͔̻̠̚͝A̸̤̥̔̆͋Ř̴̛̥̩͕̬͜Ȋ̵͎̖̽̓̆̆̈́̋N̵̼̰̞̠̗̿̀͛͆̾̓̚ͅͅǴ̸̮̟͓̗̉͑̒ ̶̗̪͓̳̺̹̣͒͋̏́͊͂G̴͇̼͔̩͚̙̈́͌͒̑̏Ô̴̢̼̪̜̔̄̀͌̉Ó̷̝͙͇̍͆̒̈̕͜Ḍ̸̨͊̆̍̋͒ ̶̟̖͇̻̖͍̓̈́̈́͘G̷̟͇̬̎́͘͜O̴̢̗̱̳͎̟̒̓̓̀͂̃̇O̸̙̖̻̪̝̒̅̆͑̌̃͗͘G̸̡̘͖̦̖̮̀̒́̽͜ͅL̶̞̯͈̜̉͝Y̶͍͔̟͆̍͘͝ ̷̖̅̽̂̓̓̚ͅM̴̮̖͉͍̥̺͉̍̈́̏͆̀͒̀̚ͅƠ̸̻̎̏͒͒̾͘͝O̴͈̗̲̩̐̊̓G̸̡̠̝̫̮̜̗̪̿̃͂̔̋̓͘͠L̵̤̙͕͈̓͂Y̵̞̋́̚ ̷̫̄̾̽̽̂̓G̴͈̃͑́Y̸̜̼͕̰̙̣͖̓̀̽A̶̯͒̈́͗̓͠Ṫ̶̤̰̻̦̤̓̑T̴̥̯̤͔̰̱̫͖̈̋̈̈́E̴̞̩̤͊́̂́͊̚R̷̗̫̹̐̉͌̅͋̓S̸̘̳̳̓Ọ̵̢͈͙̜̬͊͒̍͊͝ͅN̵̨̳̱͈̣̈́̃̾͊̈́̇͛̚ ̷̡̨̦̰͚̠̰̩̎̅S̸͚̖͎̈̀̆̀̐Ą̴͕̹̱̫̯̆̄̇͌̇̃́̑T̸͓͌̃̚͝͝A̵͍͙͙̎̔̏͊͜͝N̸̩̙̼̈́̄͌̕!̵̰̹͖̥̼̓̇̋ͅ ̷̢̡͖̳̬̖͎͑̋̇͆͐͛̚͜͠''

What- what the fuck?

''What the HELL is wrong with you guys?! Since when are we praising the devil who wears motherfucking SPEEDOS! Yall are some grade A, finest out of the bunch, FREAAAAKS!'''

Ỏ̵̞H̶̫̝̅-̶̬͗ ̴̧̀Ų̵̯̉͆h̶͍͚́.̷͔̊.̶̪͔̋̀ A loud, nasty cough makes its way out of the throat of the cloaked figure in the middle- "Sorry bout' that. Uhm, we were just in the middle of our annual stock market influence session- also praising the devil was in the latest company annual shares packet that was handed out last... Er, Memphis-'' ''MY NAME ISN'T FUCKING MEMPHIS! ALSO THE PACKET WAS HANDED OUT LAST TUESDAY'' ''Memphis City…right- last Tuesday!'' The cloaked figure drifts a packet labeled ''COMPANY PROFITS FROM STOCK MARKET LATEST CRASH'' towards you as you quickly skim over it before tossing it somewhere behind you as you gave a ''Cmon now..'' face to the rest of the cloaked HR team- ''Uh yeah- so can we continue?'' 

''Freaky fucks- yeah sure whatever, I wanna be out of this room asap.''

The middle-cloaked man quickly pulled a medieval-styled dagger out of his pocket- yelling ''SHARES OF JP MORGAN CHASE UP 14 POINTS!'' and quickly slicing the neck of the poor goat open- with your unfortunate self being sprayed with the crimson liquid as you just sighed- ''oh shit- sorry MC, do you want a company branded handkerchief?'' you shook your head no and quickly asked for permission to get your SCP's room renovated instead, luckily enough with the HR team humming and ''Memphis'' yelling at you that he would send you an email for the contracting as you made you way out of the room.

''ALRIGHT BACK TO BUSINESS AS USUAL PEOPLE!! MORE GYYYYEEOOOOOATS EQUALS TO MORE SHAAAAARES!!'' 

''Crazy!'' you mumbled to yourself as you practically ran away from the HR meeting room and made a b-line straight to your room- unlocking the door, only to find Thirteen and Luke huddled up in the corner looking absolutely petrified..?

''Uh..?'' you questioned the two before they both pointed towards something behind you- only for you to turn around and have your foot slightly tap the cow's nose- ''ow.'' 

You whipped your head back around to give Thirteen and Luke an open-mouthed look as you motioned towards the sleeping demon cow, whisper-shouting- ''Guys. How-how did he get in here?!'' Thirteen threw her hands up in defense, ''I swear on everything I love- that guy straight-up walked in her looking like some eldritch horror and plopped down on the floor, and he also went back to looking normal afterward..poor Luke over here damn near passed out!'' she whisper-shouted back, protectively holding him in her arms.

''Just- just leave... I can deal with him and Luke looks like he just shit his pants- both literally AND figuratively..''

''Great idea!''

And there goes Thirteen- well anyways, you were now once again stuck alone with this cow.

''How did it go..'' You heard his sluggish voice mumble out from behind you as he slowly rose to his full height before ushering you over towards the nearby chairs and using you as a makeshift pillow- ''Great... I mean it went just fantastic- caught HR praising their oh-so-great speedo-wearing red devil man..again..'' you retorted as your eyes slowly drifted downwards towards the indigo-colored hair of the cow, the urge to pet him slowly residing deep within your bones..

And then you heard the cow snort below you as the snort slowly started developing into an infectious fit of laughter- ''Your- you're kidding right? There's no way you caught the HR team doing that!'' You laughed right back with him, your stomach starting to hurt from laughing so hard- ''I'm not joking, I swear I walked in there and they had a whole ass smartboard with the stock market on it and started doing cartwheels and flips around this- this fucking goat! It was unreal!''

''And I thought people where I come from were crazy..'' 

''I guarantee you the HR team will always go above and beyond to make you think they snorted like..six lines of the mystical magical fairy dust before they do any sort of team meeting- this one time I actually caught them doing a Zoomba lesson in-'' ''Dont tell me they were wearing speedos?!'' ''Shocker! They were doing a Zoomba lesson in speedos, on top of yoga balls..''

''Oh my god, your kidding…right?'' 

''BUT WAIT THERE'S MOOORE!!''

''NO WAY!!'' 

Even throughout all of your laughs about the crazy HR team, you couldn't shake this feeling of wanting to pet this cow's hair that was steadily growing- before you just gave up and slowly reached to pet it…which was surprisingly soft? Does this guy groom himself like a cat or something?

Either way- you kept on petting him before you finally noticed that he was staring directly up at you, his half-purple and half-pink eyes boring holes into your own as you KEPT staring right back at him, but eventually the unease of the mock staring contest made you start reeling your hand back before the cow made some strained sound of protest and something in your head told you to put your hand back- and without thinking, you put your hand back in its original position.. Weird.

''Y'know, you still haven't told me your name- calling you the ''demon cow'' all the time kinda feels a little wrong.'' You now started scratching his scalp, a happy hum emitting from the cow before he finally spoke up- ''Neither have you, MC.''

Okay okay- what?? ''Wait- waitwaitwait- how do you know my name?'' Your hand stopped scratching his scalp as you questioned the cow as he paused- ''It's not rocket science, your friends said it earlier when you walked in.'' he simply responded before raising up his arm and tapping on your hand in an effort to get it moving again- ''That- cmon now! You know my name, its time to cough up yours- BUDDY.''

He slightly sighed before he lifted himself off of you and sat down in the nearby chair, moving a stray strand of hair out of his face before he slowly said his name and quickly flashed you a small (unnoticeable) smile…

''Belphegor.'' 

You paused- ''You mean, as in the seven deadly sins, BELPHEGOR??'' he nodded, slightly puzzled as to why you didn't catch onto this a long time ago- ''Oooh... Oh yeah, that definitely explains the questionable clothing'' you tsked as you looked him up and down- ''And whats that supposed to mean?'' 

''It's supposed to mean that you dress like a hobo. What else would I be trying to say?''

''Arent you just a ray of sunshine? Dickhead.'' Belphegor playfully swiped at your face again as you tried to get him to stop with another snark comment- and the minute you were about to do so the nearby laptop dinged, indicating that you had a new message.

MC'S MAILBOX (1) 

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STAFF MEETING NOTES 

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SCP CHECK-IN 

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DEPRESSION CHECK XPRESS

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>>> FORMAL CONTAINMENT ROOM RENOVATION RE..

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STOP ORDERING PIZZA TO THE..

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MY STUDENTS ARE ALL...

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Formal Containment Room Renovation Request 

To: [REDACTED], MC (L_MNGMENT.SCP6████████.net)

From: [REDACTED], Mephistopheles (MANAGEMENT.SCP2.M@████████.net)

Good Day, MC.

I am contacting you today due to the earlier request of an FCRRR, and I am pleased to inform you that after careful consideration of your recent efforts to bring the Foundation more valuable insights into the care of specialized Keter classes, we have decided to approve your request and have it expedited due to the surrounding circumstances of your SCP.

Please have the reference and/or reference(s) delivered to the on-site hieroglyphics translator, ████████.

Here at the foundation, we strive for nothing less than a plausible containment cell for SCPs, especially those with expansive minds and such intellect.

Great work with your [SPECIALIZED KETER CLASS].

The council is very pleased with your recent work and want to introduce the possibility of a promotion if you can show that you can gather and collect such valuable information without causing unnecessary liabilities and [WORK ACCIDENTS].

To add on: Be wary of having said Keter class in your workspace unless you are absolutely sure that you can fully prevent a possible Containment Breach, if this warning is disregarded, you will be put up for demotion and your family will be stuck with the lawyer fees.''

I will contact you with further details about the time you should be planning for the contracted team to work on your SCP's Containment Cell.

Sincerely, Mephistopheles \\ HR MANAGEMENT OFFICER \\ SECOND DIVISION.

------------------------------------------

You turned around and snickered at Belphegor, his confused face making you burst out into a fit of laughter before you finally told him why you suddenly found him to be the source material of straight comedy gold.

''I'm not gonna lie I don't have a clue in the fucking world what you drew- I don't even think the HIEROGLYPHICS translator will be able to decypher that shit.''

''I know, I hope they start crying over it too.'' 

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> Rename FILE.[FOLDER_3]? > *Please select one option.*

(Yes/Yes)

*Enter a new name for FILE.[FOLDER_3].* > [BELPHEGOR | ]

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> Saving FILE.[BELPHEGOR].. Please wait.

<<< ''Do you really want to go back?'' || ''Are you sure you want to return?'' >>>

Pssssst…hey! Biz here, i forgot to crosspost the small break i took on the book so i could brainstorm a more coherent plotline, so thats why my tumblr was mainly art posts for a couple of days.

If there are more breaks, this fic on Ao3 will definitely have an update on it.

[werebutch]

I have a lot of cooking to do today but im chilling. Also at ikea i got a hamper for hay and a nicer looking container for the rabbit litter.. so i dont have a big stack of ugly storage bins in my room LOL so yay for that ^__^

[toxycodone]

genital headcannons for :

Falin

Laios

Chilchuck

Toshiro

Namari

Venery

Thistle

Falin definitely has a penis, I think hers is probably the biggest out of Laios' party? Namari definitely packs, I would let her peg me for hours omg..... she could ruin me. Ermmm.. Chilchuck probably has a big cock for a halfling, he's fucking TALL !!!! bro has to be packing something. Also shaved or not shaved... Namari body hair everywhere OMG I need her to shove my face into her bush I need to smell her. Sorry I'm being a little too straight (? I am a man but this feels gay idk) ... anyway chil, Namari, and Falin are unshaved, full bush down there. I feel like Toshiro at his best keeps everything trimmed !! but when he can't even shave his face when he's at his lowest... bro wouldn't have the energy to take care of it. Hmm and then Laios could be either way..?? We know he shaves his face and keeps his hair short bc he doesn't wanna look like his dad, but would he even think of shaving his pubes????? Idk. Wait is this a weird thing to think about? Oh wait do elves grow body hair??? I feel like thistle would have some body hair if it's possible, I feel like they can't... unless my DND 5e knowledge is getting mixed with uhmmm. What is it called... DUNGEON MESHI I think I'm starting to dissociate I'm going to stop typing lmfao

FALIN - GIRLCOCK. Whether you are a trans!Falin fan or what, in my eyes after the red dragon thing. She gets girl cock. I can see this as either like, a penis or like T-dick. Whatever you decide. But whatever it is her situation is definitely unique. Also she got a bush frfr

Laios - COCK. (I am also a trans!Laios fan so like. He can have anything in his pants it don’t matter imma eat it but usually when I write him it’s cock). His dick is as painfully average as he is. Not crazy length wise but he got some girth to it. I’m thinking like. 5 inches frfr. Maybe 6 but that’s generous imo. No manscaping just vibes he’s full bush down there. And body hair on his chest/legs/arms and around his groin

Chilchuck - OKAY. His dick is probably like more similar to an average tallman penis. Which is remarkable considering he’s like half their size. I’m gonna give him four inches and he’s breaking other halflings in half with it but with other races. He’s learned how to use it. Chilchuck is a real one. Light on body hair, but would keep it tidy when he’s not in the dungeon (I think he likes to manscape and like. Appreciate himself in the mirror lol)

Toshiro - He is ALL length and so embarrassed about it. (Def afraid he’s gonna hurt you.) He could learn to love it with a supportive partner though. I think for a while he’s rocking bush because like, yknow. That stuff isn’t really talked about…but he figured it out for himself that when he takes his time and shaves and stuff after a anything or whatever he’ll do some trimming down there because he likes the neatness. I like to think he grows body hair but it’s not super dark for some reason (besides on his face people get jealous at the beard he can grow)

Namari - SHE IS JUST LIKE ME I GET HER VIBE SO WHAT IM SAYING HERE IS CANON: SHE HAS CRAZY PUSS BUT IS ALWAYS ROCKING THE STRAP. Namari doesn’t let anyone fuck her hole unless they’re in a committed relationship (she does not play about that either if you insert anything in her sex is over). Insane with the strap too. She’s someone I can genuinely see breaking the bed with her strokes. Also she’s got body hair for days. Like other Dwarf women she can grow a beard too but she usually shaves. (Namari with stubble…I’m bout to go feral.)

Venery - Started off with a human vagina. Now it’s some weird mix between that + hyena + dragon cock. I think he’s canonically intersex due to the ancient magic. But he’s happy about it. Also UHHHHHH…..HE LAYS EGGS. JS.

Thistle - Okay Thistle is so trans to me I think he gives himself top surgery when he’s getting older with ancient magic. He leaves the downstairs area alone because he’s fine with just presenting masc that’s good enough for him. Very low body hair he just sits in the middle of gender ambiguous for REAL.

[romsabombs]

malevolent 43 was insane so here are my notes. my live reactions while listening. enjoy :)

god i feel so sick already

EW AD☹️

okayyyy voices

is it kayne watching

oh god this again

hes way more dramatic this time i think

ermm??

yuck😨

omg queen!!! indeed queen💅💖

i have no idea whats going on

ohhh dang

IS HE GETTING CHAINED UP

im so nervous and scared and afraid

yorrick lore episode?? :3

ohhh yeahh he was the prince's skull

JOHNNNN🥳🥳🥳

omg yes talk to eachother!!! bond!

HAHA JOHN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER ALL THIS

yesss KING AND QUEENNN

omg hastur he-who-is-not-to-be-named lord of carcosa thats the thing kayne said

OKAYYYYY 💅💅

WHO😐 HAHAAA💀💀

yesss you tell him girl!! they broke into YOUR house‼️

ohhh erm what😶

"i am the king in yellow" SHE DOESNT CARE JOHN

ermmmmmm erm erm uhh

i have no idea how to describe kingqueen relationship rn

"you are no god i have witnessed" "no. but i am a god" such good lines

she should read oscars note lol

LORE LORE LORE yess tell us about this world queen🎀

"and yet you moan on a table beneath my knife👹" okayyy shes vicious💅

YORRICK SNITCH

"my transition" okay🤨🏳️‍⚧️

yo i have no idea what's going on

she said i know what u are🤨

LILY MENTION LILY MENTION

👹LIES👹 girl we're having a moment

"you gained humanity as a prisoner" okayyy true hmmm..

gosh this is heavy

bestiary mentioned :))

her ass is NOT listening

i have no idea how to picture this scene in my head

ohh she was hurt by humans☹️ because her ass is a witch

two sides of the same coin

YOUR MOTHER? omg a name

arthur is straight up dead and we're doing the traumadumping hour

😀☹️😞 :( :( oh darling

mother darkness is my drag name

okay shes got a point tho🫡

YORRICK DONT HAHA shut up!!

oh!! :3

ermmm third wheeling over here

yorrick finally does something good (shuts the fuck up)

death for the undying⛓️💔

hell brings about the truth in people🔥🔥🔥 these lines go hard

im sure you did😒😒

can you believe this episode is 52 minutes long

imagine arthur laying on the floor family guy pose while all this emotional stuff is happening

BEDROCK RAAHHHH

"our" :3333

even the witch knows hes a child

"silent to all but those who can hear���️🗣️🗣️"

"i am not forgotten. not by him" :((

i remember you my king!! 🤓🥰

larson mansion arc throwback

"i saved him" erm you're the reason he went crazy in the first place

FUCK YOU👹 does she even know that word

john finally gets therapy not clickbait

ok shut up john my headphones are dying

ok we're back

"i tried to kill a man who i felt was in my way" 💀💀

HAHA SHES SO MEAN

okay now arthur is the child

dont go to the dark side pookie🙏

bro this shit is none of her business stay out of it

MY LOVE FOR ARTHURRREEE🥳🥳 WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!🔥‼️🗣️

ermm 😶 come on johnn🙏

arthur said i can fix him and then did!!

WOAHAHSHFHCBXNSN WHA😨😨

WOAHHHHH WHATATTTT QUEEN??

HAHAHA WHY DID YOU DO THAT

ERMMMMMMMM HES WHAT

😀😀HEAVY BREATHINGGG

OKAYYYYYYY JOHNN🥰🥰

RAHHHH👹👹👹 hes so sigma

yo what the hell is happening

😨😨😨😨HUH

this witch sure loves stabbing arthur

TRUEEE we r in her home!!

his ass is not really gone come on

do true loves kiss or whatever or like shed a tear and it'll land on him and he'll be alive again because magic

"🤢JOHN🤢" okayy rude🙄

mm yeah true why did you leave

😀john stay with us🙏🗣️ pretty pls

i miss arthurs voice its really nice

FRIEND MENTIONED like from s1 :3

HIS ASS ISNT GONE what would the show be without him bruh

jesus christ

NO NONONONOOO NO COME ON

🫣🫣 ermm 😶

man arthurs only purpose is to be a vessel huh :( :(

isn't john like bound to this body

what a mess :/ how will we fix this

girl u barely know him why do u care

"ignorant false morals" 😒girl

i wanna know what she thinks about the trolley problem

maybe don't listen to her she just murdered your boyfriend twice. thrice

GIRL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HIM

shut up🙄 dont piss me off you killed my boy

ohh arthur i miss him already

erm john!!!! dont say allat😀

GOD DAMN IT we got so far man

hail to the king🗣️🗣️🗣️

NEW BODY??

ok now shes worshipping him😒

:( he says arthurs name so coldly. absolutely no emotion in his voice☹️

DONT TELL HER!!!!

ugh hes back to his kiy voice

im gonna kill myself actually

"think of the object you desire to find" imagine a rosetoy just appears

OH OH OH OH HAHA YEAHH HAHAA

this is awesome actually

faroes song goes hard

ohhh hes back :3

yorrick is so cutiepatootie

oh wait is he okay😨

OH NO

OH :3 HAHA YORRICK💀💀

insane episode

aye we cant save arthur without another deal with the devil i think

where's kayne when you need him

john this speech is embarrassing you're not an alpha wolf

john non binary arc🙏

..meaning??🧐

"i choose you. to be a part of you" ☹️ pokemon reference for a sec

yorrick embodiment of sillyness

yeah doll him up before reviving him

"your love for your friend" yorrick is so third wheeling

oh he feels human :3 i feel so sigma

cant we just let arthur stay dead let bro rest in peace he's been through enough

ARTHUR :33 WOAHHH😨😨

yeah i guess that musta hurt huh

yo is his ass okay😀😀

arthur is in Pain Painnn

ima have dreams about this one

[glitchotic]

heard ya have some lego movie headcanons (interested)

Ooughhhh i have soo manyyy.... for example this one's technically not a hc but does anyone else ride or die for fat/chubby emmet??? i mean i already always hc'd as being a bit overweight but adding on the fact that rex says hes "chiseled features were hidden under "baby fat"" just totally solidifies chubby emmet for me. additionally, people who are afraid to draw wyldstyle/lucy as buff make me sooo irritated especially in her apocalypse form like omfg theyre parodying mad max rn and you dont think shed be built like a brick house (no pun intended) rn? but okay sure. i guess you could make the argument of "well she needs to be sneaky and well hidden" as if her ex boyfriend isnt literally batman who is ripped and does that shit but i digress. i've discussed this in my benny/metalbeard post but metalbeard being a tech freak is mad underrated of a headcanon to me, i think him geeking out over new tech just makes so much sense to me bc i firmly believe metalbeard wants to have the most swashbuckling, most advanced pirate ship of the sea. especially considering when queen whatevra offered an entire planet sized ship for him and he added on things like a keyboard to his build and he just seems like hes always open to new technology and ideas. SPEAKING OF QUEEN WHATEVRA. technically more abt mayhem, i sooo hc her as being like a raver/kandi kid/scene girl type idk something abt her design to me screams "i listen to dj s3rl" I ALSO THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH LUCYS ORIGIN BECAUSE HOW DID SHE KNOW HOW TO REMOVE THE SHARPIE FROM HER HAIR HRMMM?? PLUS THE FACT THE SYSTARIANS KNOW THAT POP MUSIC CAN AFFECT THE WAY PEOPLE THINK..... ADDITIONALLY THE DUPLONS SANG THE EVERYTHING IS AWESOME SONG........... MUCH TO THINK ABOUT HERE IS ALL IM SAYINNGGG... also i in general feel like no one talks abt mayhem/lucys relationship...... sorry but like tlm3 real needs to happen bc i want so desperately to see more of mayhem getting to know lucys story and being so invested and helping her heal and recover and full go back to her true self and ohgfggmmffg imaging how adorable the specialstyle interactions would be after emmet just being like "woagghh youre so beautiful" and shes like "this outfit is smaller than i remember..... kinda hurts"......... oh THIS ONEEE I NEVER SHUT UP ABT but UNIKITTYS CAT HALF IS A TIGER SHE IS HALF TIGER AND ULTRAKITTG IS PROOF!!! i think puppycorns dog half is a shiba cos of the curly little tail and his tendency to be air headed and goofy. i also think puppycorn and unikitty would b the type to use gen alpha slang to piss off master frown but thats me getting into my unikitty! headcanons lol.... ummmm .... i also really like audhd emmet and autistic benny but GUYSSS HEAR ME OUTTT SWEET MAYHEM GIRL AUTISM. think about it.... ermmm thats all i can think of rn i have more but its so hard to talk abt my hcs w out a specific prompt 💔😔

[jfkonfucius]

GIVE ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ON SEASON 3 HAND EM OVER

THIS IS NOT ALL MY THOUGHTS CUZ ALL MY THOUGHTS ARE HOURS WORTH OF THOUGHTS. PROBABLY. here's some scattered initial thoughts . out of order

- vlad vlad vlad i adore vlad i wish he talked more. he doesn't even name drop the first time we meet the bleacher creatures! I think. I don't even remember when he name drops

- I don't think I'm overestimating it when I say I am the confucius guy. and the confucius guy has been fed very well this season. im SO grateful. I'm obsessed with him. He's cute. He's sometimes a little unexpected. He has about 5/6 minutes worth of angst. He's relatable. He is everything to me

- The Mary twist was hilarious, at first I had mixed feelings about the character being shoved in, but it built up to awesomeness

- It's been rough for Harriet... It's been real rough for her character. Which SUCKS cuz I wanna like her! I don't dislike her but Girl Why

- The writing has def improved since the last season! Hooray! Gives me 1% hope

- The JFK&Abe&Confucius trio is adorable and one of my fav things about this season. "We tried! Yeah yeah We tried!" "C'mon... C'mon...? C'mon... C'mon!"

- Joanfucius cute !! 7.5/10. Better than their s2 relationships (Joanfk/tubfucius)

- Jfabers are winning. And losing also

- Shower scene didn't happen

- I loved JFK's personality arc, his devils & angels, and him being more bisexual than ever. The explanation for the writers to "fix his personality" was genius

- I felt the increased amount of swearing made it so jokes or emotional moments involving swearing didn't hit as hard as they could have. And some sex scenes were dragged on for too long which wasn't useful narrative/comedy wise .. just uncomfortable

- I accept buff confucius into my life

- The new characters from ep 9... erm. I didn't like them much. I don't like the "here's character's love interest that is basically this character but opposite gender!" trope. The part with Mrs. C's cockney accent made me like her more though

- JFK'S DAD CAMEO !! HOORAY !! i wonder where the other dad is though ...

- I appreciated the references to previous seasons !!

- The ending left me in shambles & some actual grief. I loved the last episode, the way it parallels the first season finale, and the emotional drama, but I feel like they can't afford a cliffhanger. I would have liked some closure, as I have barely any faith in the animation+streaming industry and am 99% sure we're heading for cancellation. Boo-womp

- On the topic of ending, I headcanon that if the series does get cancelled, the clones actually get hit by the missile and DIE. I AM MAKING IT WORSE FOR MYSELF

- I LOVE EATING MAGNETS

- I really liked the Christian rock song and the inclusion of Unrehearsed by Abandoned Pools! I wish there were more new songs X( but it ok

- Scud and Mr. B were awesome as usual

- Abe cute

- I'm glad we got more Kahlopatra (Or... "cleda" as the show calls it. I GUESS. I GUESS)

- Frida's dad... emm.. ermm.. ermmm.. 😳😳😳 he so

- The professor from Ep 1 is freaking awesome & has the same voice as mr. peanut butter i think which makes him awesomer

- Hmmm... Magnets

- I was very pleased to see more Front facing scared confucius

- I was also pleased to see him about to jump off a building. you know how it is with the fav characters ^_^

- Not a whole lot of JFKonfucius moments but some screenshot worthy stuff . I went insane when JFK grabbed Confucius by the collar though 😭 why does he do that. why are they like that. i love my boys

- the last shot grabs my heart with a fist and squeezes it It hurts It Hurts it Hurts

ok well if i keep on listing stuff i'll just be talking about everything confucius did so thats enough for now LOL !!! THANKS FOR ASKING . HEART 💚🧬

[morelikeravenbore]

Alright here I come, sliding in your messages 👑

Regarding the shared questions I would love to know number 2, 11+12 ♥️

Love you queen, bye ♥️♥️♥️

Oh, hi, Queen Lory! 👑 How generous of you to visit my humble ask box! *curtseys*

✨What scene did you first put down?

Since I write my scenes wildly out of order, I don't remember exactly which one came first, but I do remember which one I really ✨loved✨ first.

'Mind if I join you?' Aurélie's eyes flew open. As if her thoughts alone had conjured him, the touselled-haired Slytherin boy stood grinning over her, his tall figure casting a shadow over her long-forgotten history book. Without waiting for an answer, he flopped down on the grass beside her, propped himself up on one elbow and pulled a box of Every Flavour Beans from his pocket. 'Care for a bean?' he asked, giving the box a little jiggle. Aurélie raised a dubious brow. 'Jelly beans for breakfast?' - How to Make a Villain, chapter six.

I love this chapter because it's the first turning point in Sebastian and Aurelie's friendship. Here they go from, 'he's annoying/she's just some girl' to 'oh, haaang on a minute...'

Their conversation in this scene sets the tone for their entire relationship: Sebastian pursues, Aurélie withdraws, and this push and pull continues for the course of the story. Aurélie is afraid of connection, Sebastian is afraid of losing it, but beneath all their fear, doubt and trauma is a deep bond that incrementally gets more and more difficult to deny.

✨What do you like best about this fic?

That I get to write it, lol.

✨What do you like least about this fic?

That I have to write it, lol.

HA no I'm kidding. What I like best about this fic is how happy I feel when I'm working on it, thinking about it, and talking about it, and how it's connected me lots of brilliant friends like you.

What I like the least is... ermmm... Honestly, I don't know. Probably inflicting angst onto my beloved bebes because it hurts to write it.

Thanks for the question, Queen of my heart!

How to Make a Villain: wattpad | ao3

[gay-poet-gabriel]

could u possibly. tell me about jibril. like jsut yap he seems so cool my interesst is very piqued

imagine getting paid to yap

HIIIII!!! LOL i just got back from school and i have found that i have been invited to yap which like i could do for hours but at the same time i probably cant do for very long because my thoughts on this man and his fam are like.,,,,, everywhere ermmm idek where to start

AND ILL BE HONEST EVERYTHING IVE EVER WRITTEN OF HIM (starting a few years ago) HAS VERY DIFFERENT BACKSTORIES AND CRAP FOR HIM BUT YKNOW

SA MENTION, IDEK JUST BEWARE UNDER CUT

uuhh well his family were shepherds in Palestine. He loves them dearly, his Mama is dead (like mine, self-insert time) his brother Mikael is loving as well as his Baba Yusuf, great! But he struggles still because of his missing mother and he was raped as a young boy :(

Didnt get much of an education. Good at what he does, not particularly smart though. (Not that it matters of course c: )

so this comic (which u can barely see cuz my phone camera sucks) is basically about Abraham and Isaac but also Miriam and Moses like essentially Jibril knows he should feel blessed with the birth of his daughter, but he also is pretty mentally disturbed so he has these very horrifying intrusive urges of hurting the people he loves, particularly her (Anaïs, his little one) I feel like the parallels are obvious in this one so yknow i basically already said it

Anyway the lyrics on the left are from Swan Upon Leda by Hozier, which is about rape (story of Leda), abortion rights, and Israel's violent occupation of Palestine (Where Jibril and his family have always been from actually so that's one thing that hasn't changed that they are Arab)

Also jibo is transgender (how i usually draw him LOL who knows anymore magic) so he gave birth to his daughter himself, hence like all of this.

ANYWAY

omg i just realized all of these comics are about his relationship with his daughter except for the red one that's impossible to see whoops

YOU CAN ALSO BARELY SEE THIS ONE

but basically its Jibo's Baba (Yusuf) telling him how special he is and how everything has a bit of god in them, and yknow its him freaking out about how he has something beautiful to share but he just hates himself because he feels he isn't doing a good job as a father or as a person

---------

moving on he joined the military asap and went on that for a while (don't have much to say about that actually? that's kind of just where i insert him with fandoms i like BUT IT MATTERS I PROMISE)

above lyrics are about rape again u get it and learning to live again (LOVE YOU HOZIER)

THEN he meets his lover boy Aislinge!

Feels immediate guilt for being in love with a man, feels like it is wrong to be gay, feels like he is wrong because he is transgender and still in love with a man (like how he thinks a woman should be)

He is already deeply detached from desire- it doesn't come with the job, does it? haha- and sex-repulsed. but he has a simultaneous fascination and of course guilt with shame and themes of repressed sexual and religious trauma

He feels as though he should not be forgiven but Aislinge does forgive him! And then they're in love and they get married and Gabriel still thinks about the people he's lost and feels bad for it but they're okay.

They both retire and spend their days in Ireland while Anaïs does something, haven't decided what she would do as an adult

the end

[spiderman616]

watching this go down w popcorn. get behind me shadow the weird anons can’t hurt you. as a fan of both Archie comics and the games I can confidently say that while they tried to do his sonic adventures plot it fell kind of flat bc it wasn’t follow shadow all that much and wrote him kind of dull. I did still like that they kept him and Marie being buds. anyway. sorry for the weird anons

they straight up did not do his sa2 plot in archie they just devoted a substory to it and then just went like "ermmm play the game lol." one of my biggest complaints about archie sonic in general that whole situation was very confusing. at some point i will try to puzzle out the details of what specifically happened in archie adventure 2 but i dont know where you're getting "wrote him dull" and "kept him and maria being buds" because they straight up did not adapt sa2 at all

[gldnstrngs]

a big part of being a merthur enthusiast is being like heehee haha!!! dumb little knight is in love with his wizard boyfriend!!! <3

but then you remember that merlin and arthur are the most tragic love story, where merlin spent ten years devoting every single part of his very being to arthur despite the consequences. you have arthur, who wasn’t truly able to see that until the day he died. maybe they escaped destiny in another universe, but that wasn’t the case in this one

no. in the end, merlin is left alone. but not only that, he continues to live on because he is the physical embodiment of magic. and he’s waiting for arthur’s return and, after a millennium, he’s still waiting. he’s still waiting, but their story has been bastardized and mythologized. their love story—the one that only further deepened the cracks in merlin’s heart—wasn’t even something people truly knew or understood. no one knew the sacrifices merlin made for arthur or how arthur only ever really trusted merlin

no one would know about the nights in front of the campfire when unspoken words hung in the air between them, merlin’s magic aching to just touch arthur. no one would know the playful shoves and rough housing and the insults they tossed back and forth. no one would know. not as long as merlin continued to wait for arthur to return

[bubblyqueer000]

APRIL FOOLS JOKE POST Mondo Owada x Me PART 3!! THE FUCKENING :0

soz I haven't been posting. I'll make an update soon C:

still tho gotta do my yearly april fools day post!!

FUCKING SHIT WIENER COCK DOODLE!! HEY DICK NOSES IT’S BUBZ CHAN AND IM MAD. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDFNNJHBNJHBGBHNJHBGVHNHBVGBNBHHB

Okay so like last year that little cock weasel, monocumstain killed my boyfriend, mondo because he was mad he commited a hate crime and fucked me on the tables in the cafeteria, coating them in his dick cheese in the process. UGGGGHH

BUT ACTUALLY I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS REALLY PUNISHED BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE TASKED WITH SCRAPING HIS SMEGMA OFF OF EVERY SURFACE OF THE SCHOOL!!!! >:C

I was in the midst of using a metal spatula to scrape off his dried up mondo butter from under the tables when I felt a horrible pain filling my chest.

“Ow tf” I sayed

“Shut the fuck up” said Kyoto

“No you cunt, my stomach really hurts.”

“Well no shit we’re all like a million years old now and during that whole time mondo was fuckin destroying your organs.” Said toastermi

“…

…

Shit u right.” And then I felt another horrible fucking pain in my tummy!!! “AHHHHHHFHDNDNBDNDJDNDND NO YOU BITCHES IDK WHATS HAPPENING”

“maybe u need a nap c: “ Nina told me

“YOU DONUT SUCKING FUCK WAD HELP ME.” 

“DON’T WORRY YALL I GOT THIS!” Said sakura, kicking me as hard as she could in the stomach making my organs squirt out of my ass with a loud shlorp. 

“OH SHIT IN THE SINK GET HER TO THE SINK!” Shouted byakuya bc he thought it was my period and he was scared of periods and stuf. 

So yea soccer ball carried me over her shoulder into the kitchen and plopped me in the sink where I screamed and farted loudly lmfao. I really hope that no one actually gets turned on by this dear fucking god. 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” idk how birth works soz. 

So yeah I shitted out a bb. 

“What the fuck” Said everyone collectively. 

“Goo goo ga ga 😀” He goo goo ga gad

“HOW THE SHIT DID THIS HAPPEN?” 

“Because you had tons of unprotected sex with mondo.”

“Oh yeah ur right. Alright well… Idk ummm ill name u mondo after ur dad ig.”

“otay” he said bc that’s how babies talk according to fan fic writers wtf is wrong with you people??

“Acutually you can;t lol” said byakuya smartily. “Bc if u did that everytime you called him that hed think of how u fucked his dad or some shit.”

“Byakuya what the actual fuck. I don’t think you understand the absurdity of what you just said. Not only is that sexualizing my infant son, but it’s also an incredibly perverse interpretation of a healthy relationship based on love and respect, and now that he’s passed us on, it’s all the more insensitive.” I told him and everyone started clapping. I looked at the fuckin kid and thought and thought. “Wait wat was mondo’s brother’s name again?”

“Diarrhea.” Sayd makoto.

“LMAOOOOO k ur names diarrhea.” i told the child. 

“K lol.” he said. 

“Ermmm… ERRRRMM…. ERRRMEN AOT…… ERMINEM SLIM SHABBY SLIM ANUS….. ERRRRM…” byakuya erms.

“WHAT WANT BUTT FART???” I sowed   

“well everyone knows that babies need a mommy and daddy or else thre brains wont work. so im volunteering to be ur rich and morty. fuck wait no. rich baby daddy” he explammmed rickbabydaddily 

“??? Tf no!! richie bitches suck” and then I rapped the entirety of piggy pie by icp for everyone but it was a parody that fit the situation like that one mlp web series we all watched as kids that had the parody wreck it ralph op and there was also fuckin evelyn evelyn and confrontation from jekly and hyde parodies ummmm… hold on let me google it. PRINCESS TRIXIE SPARKLE BY MAGPIE PONY.

so I took a break from writing this and taking care of my bastard son to re watch that series and then the first four seasons of mlp and then like all of rainbow dash presents fuck i miss the early days of mlp lmao    

So anyways after that I came out of my room and Daiya II was like a teenager because I was watching mlp content for like fifteen years. 

“Hewwo mwommy” he said 

“Ew why do you still talk like that? Get that shit out of here.”

“Jeez you’re such a bitch.” He told me.

“:0??? >:0! Go to ur room you little shit!” 

“NO mom! >:0! YOU go to YOUR room!”

“Wait what.” and then my own son stabbed me. “Ow bitch u stabbed me in the tit.” 

“Yea but it’s dedly bc ur like 47893845748398.”

“...”

“...”

“SHIT” so yeah I fuckin died. 

“You… cunt.” I said and stoped living. 

When I woke up I was in hell. And who else was there???

Ur MOM! (sorry if ur mom is actually ded or somethin rip)

BUT ALSO MONDO AND DAIYA OWADA (the first one not my son)???? :0

“Hey cootie ;0” said doodie owada

“MONDO!” I cried running over to him.

“Am I a joke to you?” Daiya asked bc i ignored his dumb ass

“Wassup bbygrl C:” Mondo asked. 

“I missed you so much.” I told him. 

“Awww”

…

…

…

…

… 

“Kay let’s fuck already.” 

“K.” 

Our clothes all burned off bc my homophobic relatives tell me that I hell is hot. Then they bent me over. I suckked daiyas dick and took mondos in my ass. 

“Glucglucglucglucglucgluc” i said suckn dick. 

“Coom” and then I fake my organism. 

Soooo yeah were done and were just chillin wit angel hazbin hotel bc it’s hell. BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT DAIYA II WAS THERE BC HE WAS EXECUTED LMFAO

Anyways happy april fools day seeya next year :3

[pepprs]

also btw back to all the building the courage to move out stuff. last night i stayed up late (lol) reorganizing my building-the-courage-to-move-out playlist so that the lyrics tell a chronological story abt what this journey has been like for me and it’s still kind of messy but im proud of it and strengthened by it. i feel like it’s cringe to share it but i want to in part bc it’s another accountability thing so yeah ermmm i hope if anyone chooses to listen to it you’ll take something away from the juxtaposition of it all. here are the different sections / chapters

independent accident (c418): instrumental opener with a relevant title bc i like to start chronological story playlists that way

when will my life begin (tangled) - much more (barbra streisand): describing my home situation. going from kind of innocently being like “hey what if i could be more independent” to “hey what if the dynamics in this house are crushing me slowly. i need to not be in this situation i have to move out”

every single night (fiona apple) - i want love (elton john): more concertedly looking at the state of my life / my mental health situation and realizing how much living here is the source of that and always has been. lol 🤪 and also trying to convince myself that i deserve better and building the courage to ask for it

bloodline / difficult things (orla gartland) - nothing changes (hadestown): telling my family (especially my mom) that im unhappy living at home and want to move out but it blows up in my face. i get guilt tripped / gaslit out of it and it’s agonizing but i entirely lose my ability to remember how much i need this and i accept defeat

the hurt of happiness (hey ocean) - tales of dominica (lil nas x): the headspace ive been in for the last year or two of being depressed out of my mind and sinking in quicksand and losing all sense of hope that i will ever become an independent adult and not live here <3

need 2 (pinegrove) - new person, same old mistakes (tame impala): the chapter (i hope) im in cureently of realizing like… hey. i do have the strength. i am an adult and i choose my life. i will do this and be strong and it will be very hard and destructive but it will be okay. (i feel like the song im currently “on” is new person, same old mistakes lol. where i know i need to do it but have my familys voices in my head telling me i can’t)

quiet (matilda) - goodbye yellow brick road (elton john): AUGHHHH the most emotional part of the playlist. every song in this section makes me want to cry and sometimes has. this is when i will finally build the courage to actually say im moving out and act on it for real and the absolute wound that is going to rip me open and destroy my entire world <3 i feel it all (feist) is the OK IM GOING TO DO IT NOW AND ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES song and tactics (japanese breakfast) is me like… actually beginning to tell my family. aughhhhh ahghhhh augghhhhhhh.

when will my life begin reprise (tangled) - wildewoman (lucius): the aftermath where im hopefully happy and thriving and growing into my independence! :~D

this playlist (which i made specifically abt my experience of moving onto campus in aug 2021) + this playlist (which is kind of a messy look at like.. learning how to drive and having experiences of independence etc etc) also overlap a lot with the last 3 bullet points so i need to go through them and add more songs to this one too lole. they’re not organized to tell a story iirc but they’re also worth a listen (maybe on shuffle) and those songs may change what this playlist looks like when i add them but yeah this is the playlist as of rn :~D thank u for reading / listening if u did i am going to be late for work now but it was worth it to type all of this up

[morn1e]

GOING 2 EAT GLASS. thank u @breadtheend 4 the tag! i usually do not rly do games anymore but this was too good of a opportunity 2 let slide when i have the chance 2 blabber abt my guys <:)

ermmm doing pdude&marnie bcuz they r all i think abt these days😁

Rules: Bold the themes that apply to your ship, and italicize the theme if it’s one-sided, within your story

height difference(dude is 6’8”&marnie is 6’1”. 7inch diff😁) / mutual pining / first kiss / wedding / in-jokes(this means inside jokes right?if so they have a kabillion inside jokes. do correct me if i am wrong) / lgbtq+(they r both bi :) ) / Family Disapproves / would die for each other / would kill for each other(dude would kill in a heartbeat; marnie is too exhausted 2 kill any1. but would too if that is the Last Possible action&she has literally no other choice) / fake relationship / arranged wedding / cuddlers / Pda Friendly / and they were roommates / holding hands / secret relationship / opposing worldviews / getting a pet( they have champ! dudes dog, which he had b4 meeting marnie) / have kids / want kids / grow old together / relationship failures / rests head on shoulder(rarely but it happens😁) / share a bed / relationship doubts / they have a song / first date(went 2 the same bar where they 1st met(marnie got socked in the face by him lol)) / sharing a blanket(ever so rarely too bcuz it is hot as balls in arizona. they do not need a blanket.) / mutual interests(they like a lot of the same tv shows&watch them 2gether :) ) / study buddies / bathing together / crash into hello / accidental nudity / laundry(both fuking hate the task so they do it 2gether bcuz “if i hate doing laundry u r doing it w me. u have 2 suffer w me🤬” “eat shit hell noooo🤬🤬🤬🤬”. does it anyway. 😁) / same hobbies / cooking for each other(dude cooks way more often bcuz this is his main way expressing he cares 4 marn; doing smth he hates the most) / big fancy gala / sibling rivalry / forehead touches / hair stroking(ever so rarely. marnie 2 dude bcuz she knows he craves it sometimes but will Never admit 2 it. does it as a way 2 comfort) / sitting on each other’s laps(ever so rarely too. they like 2 have their own space.) / sexual tension / can’t be together / battle couple / Friends to Lovers / Enemies to Lovers / Lovers to Enemies / keeping secrets / love after loss / exes / declaration of love / flirting(dude bcuz he is a teasing jerk) / love triangle / destructive romance(marnie bcomes even more of a horrible person bcuz dude rubs off on her down the line. i would say he encourages her true horrible nature 2 come out more. he drags her down w her.!) / envy / “I Don’t Want to Ruin Our Friendship" / shared values / slow burn / does not end well / happily ever after(<:’) ) / love letters(marnie leaves him sticky notes w stuff like “i hope you have a peaceful day today.” this is her way of love letters i guess. they are not keen on talking emotionally, they show their love through action.)

Song: Her & I (Slow Jam II) - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

The music essencially says that:

this son of a bitch is willing 2 do things that r highly uncharacteristic things 4 a person he relates the most!!!!maybe it truly would not hurt 2 b smth more!!like idfk a somewhat better person just 4 her&HER ONLY!!!!!!!!!he is a horrible person&so is she so she is an angel in his eyes🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Honorable Mentions:

I Wanna Be Yours - Artic Monkeys (only the line “maybe i just wanna be yours” + the chorus. he does not want 2 b her vacuum cleaner.)

again thanks so much 4 the tag! passing on the race 2 @thedogsleg @silbeni ! &every1 else who would like 2 do this w their guys! >:)

[yuukei-yikes]

Since we’re bringing up kagekids, I wonder what kind of moms would Ayano and Takane be. And what kind of relationship do Ayame and Konoha have with their parents? Who is their favourite parent?

AWWW MY FANKIDS THE LITTLE GUYS THE THE THE... heheheheheheheheheheh this ask excited me so i doodled them quickly

las creaturas for real ☝️☝️☝️

erm erm erm. answer under the cut ♥️ i talked a lot and it's embarrassing ♥️♥️♥️

ayano is not difficult to imagine as a mom. she's really sweet but scary when angry yknow. probably more than shintaro. well obviously a lot more than shintaro. kids go to him before her when theyre in trouble bc he's a huge pushover and cant handle being mad at them for over a minute. LOL ERMM ERMMM i think ayano's parent flaw (IM GETTING INTO THAT NO ONE IS A PERFECT PARENT) is that shes REALLY into THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN THE FAMILY and struggles giving her kids space bc she's insanely scared of any of them hurting similarly to how she has in the past. like it comes from a good place but it's definitely a little awkward and makes ayano kind of an overbearing parent? not SUPER like she's not controlling or takes away their privacy or anything but she's like. EMOTIONALLY overbearing. friday night after dinner is emotion time where we sit down as a family and list every positive and negative thing of the week and talk it through😊😊😊😊😊 shes a little crazy but means well u_u but she's really just teaching them healthy communication and how to ask for help etc etc but sometimes it goes too far like she projects too much LOL but it complements well with shintaro bc he's usually like Hey. leave them the fuck alone for a moment and ayanos like AUUGGHH 💔💔💔💔💔💔 ok fine💔 also AGAIN ayame littlest of 4 kids but all others are adopted and came into the family with their own lore and most likely tragic past so ayano is USED TO THE PRECEDURE OF HELPING HER CHILDREN HEAL but ayame is like i was raised in a healthy loving home i have no mental issues and my biggest problem in life is having to go to school bc id rather be playing toys and having fun. and ayano's like what the fuck... shintaro we raised an emotionally stable child and shintaros like I SURE HOPE WE DID?????

takane is also not difficult to imagine i think. sorry takane but... overprotective insane parent she would be fucking INSANE like. takane would be a good mom DO NOT get me wrong definitely the coolest no big deal u can do anything u want kinda parent definitely the fun one definitely the one all next gen kids go to for prank support. you know that pic that's like mom in 1990 helping her kids pass a hard level in super mario. thats takane 100% like she is so COOL but secretly fucking insanely over obsessed protective hypochondriac. like rest in fucking pieces. konoha's the kid arriving to the sleepover with a overnight breathing machine that needs to be plugged in. he scrapes his knee and takane acts like it's the end of the world. haruka not nearly as insane but insane enough to sort of enable takane's overprotectiveness bc he's sorta the same LOL he's not so worried if konoha gets hurt playing but if he coughs 1 time haruka also begins acting like it's the end of the world

konoha is an only kid and ayame has 3 older siblings so haruka+takane and ayano+shintaro are inevitably super different parents bc shintaro and ayano are like experienced and are like the memes of Me when my third kid hits their head (hanging out and not caring) and haruka and takane are like Me when my first kid hits their head (AMBULANCE SIRENS) since im talking abt ayano and takane specifically let me add i think itd be funny if they get into discussions because ayame plays rough (little sister survival) and konoha rides a bike with pillows attached to all his body. so konoha's like coming back home from hanging out with ayame all shaken and hyper and with 1 microscopic scrape and takane's like (shaking) which isnt even ayame's fault konoha is probably clumsy as hell. haruka genes. didnt get the deadly illness👍👍👍 but falls on his face for no damn reason all the time😔😔😔

AS FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIPS i feel bad abt them choosing a favorite THATS SO SADDD i dont think its about FAVORITES it's more like. u have different relationships with both parents??? like i think ayame goes more to shintaro than ayano exactly because ayano is like Sit down AND LETS HAVE OUR SCHEDULED HEART TO HEART and shintaro's like a million times more chill like i generally think ayame's personality is more like his. i think she's sort of like if shintaro was an extrovert♥️ but also when it comes to hanging out outside and jumping around and chasing each other around which is 1000% ayames kind of playing she goes to ayano. shintaro's sitting down on the couch trying to read and his kid(s) (all the older ones join in too) and wife are jumping around him because the floor is lava 🙏💯🔥 literally ratio + playing + having fun.

like IDK. I FEEL BAD CHOOSING ONE OR ANOTHER TO BE A FAVORITE BOTH ARE GOOD PARENTS THEYRE A HAPPY FAMILY *MY TELEKINESIS THROWS EVERYTHING ACROSS THE ROOM* same for harutaka and konoha but in a more chill way btw i think their households are so different bc konoha is an only child AND super chill and ayame is a nightmare child AND 1 out of 4 kids so harutaka household is like super organized and quiet and shinaya house is utter chaos. konoha and ayame getting overstim/understim when visiting each other LMAOO but theyre still BESTFRIENDS FOREVER!!!!!

i got sidetracked i was gonna talk abt harutaka and konoha ermmm ermmm i also refuse to choose a favorite parent but konoha... awakening eyes..... it is inevitable haruka and him share A Bond because COME ONN COME ONNNN HIS OTHER SELF... IS BABY NOW... SNIFF SMIFF sorry i have got so many feelings abt awakening eyes being baby. like haruka doesnt KNOW its awakening obviously but still there is a special affinity. takane is definitely the only loud one in the family if it wasnt for its annoying ass their home would be so quiet all the damn time. BUT ITS GOOD bc it keeps everyone moving takane is definitely the time management. like get your asses moving management. its just them 3 you know so they're all really close. konoha definitely the kind to sleep in his parents bed just cuz its more comfortable he is insanely babied so he's kind of like yeah i am Baby. sorry to come back to the same thing but this and ayame's little sister moment like IM NOT LITTLE IM SO MATURE AUUGGHHH vs konoha being like My mom still cuts my food 🙏 he's older than her but ayame lives her big sister calling through konoha

[draculovemp3]

ermmm shadowheart bg3 :3

SHARTHEART…🎆💜

Sexuality HC: suchhhhhh a lesbo but like she was too busy being molded by a cult + getting her memory erased so It kinda never Officially occurred to her. Tho Astarion or Laezel called her a lezzie or w/e once and she was like “well duh”. the repression was completely one of ‘I forgor’ </3 sad! Many such cases for her. That’s not to say I don’t love bi Shart too🙏

Gender HC: NONBINARY TGIRL AS FUKKKKK the narrative agrees w me shadow agrees w me my soul agrees …. Just a girl learning to Choose who she is 💜

A ship I have with said character: well Shadowzel is a given lovehate yuri save me….ummm obviously my tav/Shadowheart is true love <3. I also have a weak spot for Shadow/Astarion in a distinctly gossiping emobitches winegirlies way…

A BROTP I have with said character: rattling my cage I could say the same as above platonically w Asta & Shadow… also I think she stays very in touch w Isobel + Aylin and she’s like their daughterbestie who needs to be kept away from blades (unless she’s ab to do sumn cool)

A NOTP I have with said character: erm idk… none I can think of other than perhaps Shadow/Viconia? But I’ve never seen that lol so:p

A random headcanon: autistic as fawkkk. she learned hair braiding from her mom and it stuck w her even when she completely forgot ab her parents 🥲 also I think she’s a bit of a weapon snob. WILL judge ur forge and weapons Forged In Fire-style sorry Dammon

General Opinion: when I started playing/was blinder to bg3 she wasn’t all too interesting but her development is literally so insane and peak i love her.. she hurts my heart so well I’m drunk #shadowheart. Shadowhearttt😭😭💜💜💜

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THE FOLLOWING^