#erlang i love you sobs

[lotusarchon]

i'm praying a certain someone i know doesn't see this cause i'm genuinely gonna fucking sob so please if you see this NO YOU HAVEN'T

the way I want Erlang to just dick me down so bad. No I do not give a fuck which version of him it is, be it LMK (he's canon to me + art like this I find on Pinterest is so stunning), Black Myth Wukong or fucking Furious Yama (highly recommend)

Like bro excuse me shut the fuck up and dick me down please?? Pull those pants of right now and bend me over the nearest table and rail me within an inch of my life

I have so much trauma with men that the mere thought of being seen by one scares me but Erlang Shen is one of the only men I'll allow to take my virginity because that man is SO FUCKING fine hello???

"omg he burnt the mountain-" and Wukong just as bad and I wanna ride him until he's sore so I do not CARE

It's okay that he's a bit old I can totally ride him from daybreak to dawn. Every single fucking day till one of us is pregnant type shit trust

I just want him to grab me by the neck and kiss me silly then fuck me on the spot because Wukong probably annoyed him or some shit idrc for the details I just want him so bad Erlang Shen pleasepleplsplslls fuck me one chance is all I'm asking I'll suck you dry promise I can even give you a boobjob🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Just one chance bro this man is so fucking fine any interpretation of him makes me wanna rub one out (not really but) ooihhchaiwiebd bro is soo hnghhhcb seueiejaus pleaseeee I just want him to smooch meee auiwkeododidid

Anyways uh. I'm totally normal about Erlang Shen guys :)))

[quitealotofsodapop]

How do the courts react to Haoyu? I mean, this is the youngest stone monkey in existence and also looks like, in Pigsy's words "a Lisa Frank" piece and a mixture of Spicynoodles, so...

Haoyu arrives + Royal court confusion.

For those confused by the "Lisa Frank" comment; Haoyu has been imbedded with the power of the Five Heavenly (or Five-Coloured) Stones, and comes out with bits of rainbows in his features - notably his eyes. Add in Red Son's absorbed life energy, and you've got a ginger-furred baby monkey (reference pic is a langur) who sneezes rainbow fire.

The celestial and demon courts are jubilant, if not very confused. Haoyu's birth is the greatest news all of the Celestial Realm has had in months since the passing of the Jade Emperor. But the knowledge that the parents of said child is the Emperor's recently-recognised half-bull grandson + the surprise stone monkey successor of Sun Wukong = makes everyone baffled at the same time.

The Queen Mother has gone all out on the celebration ever since she learned that both parent and baby were safe and healthy. She's been planning the whole event for at least five weeks. Xiwangmu's great-grandson is the shining light of the universe as far as she's concerned!

MK shows up to the royal birth announcement wearing sweatpants cus monkey boy be exhausted. Red Son appears in traditional court attire, happily showing off MK and the baby like they both didn't just roll out of bed that morning. Also his big royal robe makes a great impromptu blanket once the three of them become too tired with the festivities.

Haoyu himself is still in "will not stop clinging to mom or will scream"-stage of development. So if a hard-headed noble or servant tried to take the baby off of MK; they get hit with the loudest screeching a barely-1-pound baby monkey can make. And a near-death experience courtesy of all baby's protective family members. MK has to stop Xiwangmu from reflexively tossing the offender off a cloud.

Many of the celestials and trusted demons of the party at first assume Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque to be MK's parents, only to be shocked to be introduced to a stout pig-man and a gangly human scholar.

Tang, proudly: "He takes more after me, as you can see." MK & Pigsy: (*fond sighs*)

Wukong and Macaque still proudly refer to Haoyu as their "grand-student". Especially Macaque ever since the baby saw his real ears and started making his own wiggle and glow as some sort of wordless communication - Mei calls it "baby rave mode".

DBK is trying his best not to cry or explode out of his clothing. Haoyu isn't even the size of a human baby, and the old Bull sobs whenever he sees him. Haoyu loves his big purple Yeye Bull, and has started doing little calf-headbutts to greet him. DBK would destroy heaven itself for this little orange puffball.

DBK and Xiwangmu have also come to a tentative agreement; even though the Queen Mother didn't approve of the method in which DBK and PIF eloped, he's still the better of her son-in-laws (Li Jing has been kicked down the celestial food chain ever since the incident with the Stones).

PIF is busy making her presence known since this is her first time presenting to the celestial court in centuries. She's worse than Red for showing off MK and the baby; bragging to any curious ear that dare listens.

PIF, talking to another noblewoman: "Well clearly Xiaotian and my son would produce the first great-grandchild! Red Son has had an infatuation for the boy ever since they met!" Red Son, embarrassed: "Mother!" MK, laughing: "Aww!! Babe! You had a crush on me?" Red Son: "MK, we're legally married with a baby." MK, giggling: "Still!"

Nezha's hackles are raised, watching over MK's shoulder like a guard dog. Not only keeping to his duty as Protector of Children - but also because part of the ceremony is him giving Haoyu his 100-day blessing (his Man Yue was a lot smaller and personal). It's a big deal for him. Erlang thankfully provides him some backup. At least the little guy isn't keen on being anywhere not attached to his parents anytime soon.

At the end of the day Mei and the rest of the Noodle Gang manage to distract the party so MK and Red can get out of there and relax. it's been a busy day for these two, and an even bigger one for the baby.

Xiwangmu goes searching for them frantically after noticing her Grandson and Grandson-in-law missing from the party. She finds them curled up in their guest room with little Haoyu snoring away between them. She quietly grants them her blessing and leaves the three sleep on. Her little rainbow quartz has a big universe to see.

[lint-beetle4]

Fleeting Memories (ShadowPeach Angst & Fluff)

I've been waiting for so long to write this! Thank you for the request!!

Fun Fact: I have class in 4 minutes

Also, Mild Gore Warning

The journey was long, arduous, and even painful, if Wukong was being honest.

Yet, despite it all, Wukong had grown more through the short time they spent together. Trial after trial, Wukong slowly learned to be more compassionate, more considerate, and more patient. He was growing to fit the title he'd made for himself, and to that, as their journey approached an end, a bittersweet feeling had crawled into Wukong's chest and decided the settle there.

It was the bitterness that flowed through his blood as Wukong fought against his greatest friend, his brother, his second-in-command.

The Great Sage had never seen his friend so upset...so hateful.

It was a sorrowful sight, something Wukong never wished upon the person who he tried to keep close to. After the war, Wukong never saw Macaque, not when he was cast from the monk's group, nor when he regrouped his fallen soldiers and subjects and rebuilt his kingdom. His subjects spoke of the shadow demon, how he was fueled with rage and grief.

Oh, how it hurt to Sage to hear how his comrade tried so hard to save the immortal monkeys from the trappers and hunters who tormented the fallen kingdom, how Macaque continued to fight battle after battle, protecting the fragile island from the devastating fires of Erlang Shen.

Yet, the past was washed away, Wukong and Macaque's final parting words had created a divide, only for them to be united in a battle that breathed finality.

"Macaque, don't make me do this!"

The darker simian didn't respond, his cackling ringing through Wukong's ears as the sage threw blow after blow, defending the monk and his new brothers. Macaque's laughter turned into pained yelps and shouts, he was losing, but the shadow demon refused to stop, and Wukong felt his heart steal itself for the final blow.

Macaque laid on the ground, bleeding profusely and limp. His pained breaths inhaled with a final shout, a final plead for Wukong to just listen. Yet, Wukong couldn't hear him anymore, Macaque's voice turning sour in his ears as he lifted his staff.

"Wait, Wukong, stop--"

Crunch.

Ringing filled the air, Wukong's blood pumped through his body, deafening him as Macaque went limp with a resounding gurgle ending into a wet sigh.

He was dead.

But, his eye looked directly at him. His mouth kept moving. Wukong could hear everyone in the distance, but Macaque's voice stood in front of him.

"...Wukong."

'Forgive me.'

"Wukong--!"

'Please close your eyes. Rest.'

"Wukong!"

'The battle is over. It's done. Let him rest.'

"Oh, to all the gods, Wukong. Wake up!"

Wukong sat up with a gasp, air running through him as if nothing more but a fleeting memory. It hurt.

Wukong's eyes flickered through his sleeping quarters, tidy yet clearly loved. Shadows flickered through the corners as Wukong snapped his head to his side, seeing Macaque--alive, finally alive.

Macaque was disheveled in front of Wukong, his mane tussled with what seemed like sleep and high winds.

Wukong couldn't focus on it much, his eyes tightly shut as his nightmares gripped at his mind with a strength he hadn't felt in centuries.

The darker simian seemed concerned, his voice whispering too low to reach through the growing trembles and pounding of Wukong's heart. Yet, the sight of him was heavenly enough, honey pouring through air, warming the way it stabbed in his chest.

In the back of his mind, Wukong heard sobs-- pitiful, heavy sobs--in the air as Macaque's voice continued to futilely speak.

Couldn't the fool see Wukong was currently too occupied to listen properly?

His chest clenched painfully, Wukong curling into himself with a whimper that ran like grease through his body. He felt ashamed to be in such a state, to be shaking and crying out for a past like an abandoned cub in fire-scorched forests. Macaque's hands hovered above him, and despite everything, Wukong flinched hard.

Macaque pulled away, his mouth shutting as his eyes merely softened at the sight of the King.

"Wukong."

Macaque's voice was clear, and by the gods, Wukong heard every ounce of love in it. He missed it so much; he missed him so much. Wukong sobbed again, tears dampening his fur as the sage grit his teeth, trying to quiet the noises that bothered him so.

"Wukong--Look at me."

Desperation, only pure desperation in that honey-filled voice, deep and clinging to Wukong's ears like a lifeline. Wukong obeyed blindly, Macaque's eyes examining Wukong carefully.

"You're in your house right now--it's empty, despite the fact that you have hoard stashes in your closet. But, you're not there anymore, and I'm here."

Wukong still felt tears pouring down his face, the air stinging his cheeks. He felt Macaque get closer, arms now confidently around Wukong's shoulders in a hug that Wukong swore he forgot the feeling of.

"I'm here now. I'm not leaving."

"You won't leave..? Promise me--please--that you won't leave me here like this." Wukong sobbed, sinking his head into Macaque's soft fur, the scent of fruit still surrounding him with bitter nostalgia.

Macaque shook his head, arms tightening around Wukong as the shadow demon spoke with a thick, broken voice. "I promise. I'll be right here."

Wukong's trembling increased as his sobs jolted through his body. He half felt bad about ruining Macaque's fur like this--the ginger monkey knew how pridefully Macaque took his appearance. Yet, the night continued on, Wukong's tears eventually drying as his trembling settled into a fatigued weakness. Macaque never left, only whispering words that covered Wukong like a silk blanket in the cool night.

"Thank you," Wukong shuddered, lifting his head to look at the strangely calm Macaque. "Thank you so much."

"Go to sleep, Peaches. You look terrible."

Macaque shook his head, a fond smile that Wukong reciprocated.

The two laid down, Macaque never letting go of Wukong as the latter buried his head into Macaque's chest with a weak grin.

"Goodnight, Peaches. I love you."

Wukong fell asleep with warmth through his body, the past drifting away as nothing more than a bad nightmare.

The sun rose, burning Wukong's eyelids as it forced the king to rise. He could always count on its light to pierce through any dream he could've had. The warmth around Wukong had left, it seems, leaving him chilled.

Macaque left, Wukong sighed to himself, looking away from the blinding light that cast away the shadows of the night.

The house felt cold despite the warm glow of the sun.

[starrosefics-archive]

OK, seeing you will all these prompts fills me with the desire to give you a gauntlet! May I request From 50 kisses 42 and spicynoodles, 33 and shadowpeach, 39 and Wukong and Tripitaka (I saw them in the tags and had to)? From the last Prompt list Fluff 9 and Baronjitsu, Random 11 and anyone from The Owl House, and Random 33 Spicynoodles (you write them so nice I had to ask twice)?

Thank you for the gauntlet!

Kisses 42. Distracting kisses from someone that are meant to stop the other person from finishing their work, and give them kisses instead.

In his defense, MK had panicked.

Red Son was madly cackling, giving some sort of monologue as the massive machine started to work. And MK didn’t want to see what it would do. So, in his panic, he reacted.

The monologue was cut off when MK kissed him.

-_-

Kisses 33. An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

“What was that?!”

Macaque raised a brow. “A...kiss? I don’t know, humans usually do it when they like someone from what I’ve seen.” Wukong stared at him, his fur poofing up. “And I like you- will you stop staring at me like that?!”

Wukong gripped his tail to stop it from excitedly swinging. “Sorry.”

“Look, just-”

“I like you too.”

-_-

Kisses 39. Kissing tears from the other’s face.

Tripitaka cried when they met again. He had cried a lot on their journey but Wukong got the sense that this was different. “Hey,” he tried gently. “Please don’t cry?”

“I can- I can’t. I can’t believe you’re actually here, everyone saw the staff after the Demon Bull King was sealed away and and and...” His old master burst into more sobs, grinning despite the fact tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Their two students were watching. Despite that, Wukong gave in to his urge and kissed the tears away. Back during their journey, affection like this would’ve made the monk flustered. Instead, his smile was bigger. “I heard you punched Erlang Shen in the face?” he said when he was done.

“I didn’t punch him, I threw a shoe at him. He deserved it and I’ll do it again.”

Tripitaka’s new student had walked up and blanched when he said this. “Master, no.”

“Master, yes.

-_-

Fluff 9. “Are we on a date right now?”

Lou stared. “I...thought we were?” The smaller male paused in his walking. “Wait, this isn’t a date?”

“I mean...Um...” He looked around, trying to find some source of help. The gargoyles, the annoying little nuisances, were hanging out on a balcony, well out of reach. “I do have feelings for you?”

“That sounded more like a question.”

“I mean, I do have feelings for you and I would love if you wanted this to be a date. Does...does that work?” Draxum tried to read the champion’s face. He relaxed when Lou’s smile turned gentle.

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

-_-

Random 11. “You’re insane,” “You love me,” “Not right now I don’t.”

“You’re insane,” Willow said flatly.

“You love me,” Luz said brightly. And with that, she turned and walked right into the creepy tunnel. Willow looked around, hoping to the Titan that Gus or Amity or Eda would show up to help her.

Nobody did.

“Not right now I don’t,” she grumbled, following her friend into the creepy tunnel.

-_-

Random 33. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Welcome back,” MK said flatly. “Now fucking help me.”

It was three in the morning and Red had been kicked out of bed to go get his pregnant husband mango pudding and fried rice. He had returned to find said pregnant husband struggling to pull on socks. The redhead made a dramatic sigh and knelt, pulling the fuzzy socks up.

“I’m sorry for being mean,” MK said when they had gotten some of the weird mixture into him. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“My feelings weren’t hurt,” Red said, eating some rice-less pudding of his own. “It’s just funny. Who knew that all it took were some socks to defeat you?”

The pillow was well deserved, in MK’s opinion.

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