#erewrites

[erebird]

I’M ON THE RUN AND YOU’RE HOME ALONE | 𝔪. 𝔰𝔞𝔫𝔬

pairing/s: Manjiro Sano x gn!reader

genre: hurt/no comfort, established relationship, angst

warning/s: none

wc: 530+

Note: I didn't have a specific timeskip in mind but mikey is aged up in this fic! I felt like my characterization wouldn't fit if he was 14-15 here so it’s up to you to imagine what arc this takes place in besides the toman arc :)

It was late and quiet in your shared apartment. The entrance door opening could barely be heard. Your lover, Manjiro, came back from an awful day. He was rarely ever filled with joy anymore, but this day was worse than the previous days he had experienced. 

“I’m home.” is what Manjiro usually yelled after entering the house to let you know that he was back, but he stopped since he’s been coming home at ungodly hours recently. Hours when you were already fast asleep after forcing yourself to stay up and wait until he came back to you.

Setting foot in the bedroom you both slept in, Manjiro stared at your deep sleeping figure. The hued lamp was lit up on his side of the room, a habit you did when he hadn’t come home yet. He wonders how you got so unlucky to love and stay with him. Even he knows it himself, he treated you better when you two were still children.

He softly sat on his side of the bed, still staring at you, adoration and guilt in his eyes. Manjiro loves you. Hell, he loves you more than anything. He isn’t as affectionate as most would be, but he really does cherish you as the light of his life. Your kindness and compassion never faltered even after all these years of hell putting up with all the pain he’s felt. It makes him sick knowing such a sweetheart like you witnessed every terrible deed he’s done even after doing everything he can to keep you away from the dangerous side of his life. You just never went away, you stuck to him like an annoying pest that needed his attention all the time. However, Manjiro knew that in reality, it was the other way around. He was the annoying pest that desperately clung to you and unnoticeably begged for your affection. 

Though he never verbally said it, he needed you. He believes that he needs you more than you need him. Maybe that's why after all these years, he’s too selfish to let you go for your own good. When everyone is slowly leaving him, you’re all he has left.

“Mikey…” You mumbled. He gently swiped your hair away from your face to tuck behind your ear. Now your face was clear on full display for him to see. It’s not the first time he’s heard you say his name in your sleep. It’s always “Mikey” or “‘Jiro” that leaves past your pretty lips. 

Now that he thinks about it, it’s been a long time since the two of you shared a kiss. 

Manjiro looks at your lips once more before hesitantly moving down to give you a soft peck that lasts not more than a few seconds. 

Sitting back up, he sighs out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding. He reached for your hand to intertwine your fingers with his. 

Not once did he stop looking at you. Not even while he’s shedding light tears, an action with his intent to apologize for being so absent. 

A whisper that could barely be heard leaves Manjiro’s trembling mouth.

“I’m too consumed with my own life.”

[erebird]

[1:42 AM] | 𝘏. 𝘚𝘈𝘕𝘡𝘜

pairing/s: Haruchiyo Sanzu x gn!reader

genre: bonten!timeline, breakup!au, angst

warning/s: mention of cancer, mention of death, sanzu being high, swearing

wc: 540+

“What the fuck.”

You eyed the bubblegum pink haired man in silent frustration. Sanzu looked over at you and smiled widely, showing off his diamond shaped scars at the corners of his mouth. 

His hand on the front doorknob of your apartment closed the entrance with a quiet shut. He walked over to you sitting by a table and sat on the stool across from where you were. Placing his elbow on the table and resting his face on his palm, he sweetly squinted his eyes. “Water, please~”

You rolled your eyes and stood up, leaving your laptop to get a glass of water for your ex-boyfriend.

Sanzu peaked over at your laptop, curious about what you were typing away prior to when you got up. “Whatcha doing?”

‘Nosy.’ You thought.

“Just sending out marriage applications.” You shrugged as if it was only mundane. His bloodshot eyes gave your back a confused look, implying that you had to tell him more.

Sighing and turning back around to face him, you walked over with the glass of water in your hand. After placing it next to him on the table, you sat back down on your seat and closed your laptop. You placed your elbow on the table and held your cheek with your hand, mirroring his actions.

“You know about my mom’s condition, don’t you?” Ah yes, your mother. The woman who had no ounce of approval for Sanzu being your lover and the reason for your breakup with him. The same woman who was in a critical stage of breast cancer at the moment.

He hated your mother. During your relationship, Sanzu tried his hardest to present himself exceptionally well in front of her so that he’d have her blessing yet that was never enough. You told him that she’d turn up one day and he didn’t believe you. The day she was diagnosed with cancer was what pushed you to end things with him.

Sanzu looked away and placed his free hand inside his pocket. “Yeah, what about her?”

“She told me her dying wish was that I get married before she dies.” you massage your temple with your fingers. In all honesty, you didn’t want to marry so soon. Though, you valued your mother so much that you’d do anything for her during her last days of living.

“It’s not too hard to set myself up and marry somebody right? Especially since we’re in Japan-“

“Just marry me.”

Your eyes glanced up to look at Sanzu’s bright blue ones. “Pardon?"

“You heard what I said, marry me. Stay by my side for the rest of our lives together. Love me again and I’ll protect you until I die.”

“Sanzu?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re high, aren’t you?”

That’s when he had the courage to truly look you in the eye. Concern flooding your pupils with no trace of desire to want him back.

At least, that’s what Sanzu thought and saw.

With his hand still in his pocket, he toyed with the soft and small box. He chuckled out loud, reminiscing the memories you two had together that could have been dearly held by the ring inside.

Blinking back the pain and the tears, Sanzu gave you a soft smile. “Yeah… yeah, I am.”

[erebird]

i’m only a fool for you | ᴋ. ᴋᴏᴢᴜᴍᴇ

pairing/s: Kenma Kozume x gn!reader (ft. Shoyo Hinata)

genre: college!au, childhood friends, unrequited love, angst

warning/s: slightly suggestive, swearing

wc: 3.1k +

Kenma was there every second of the way. Everything that’s happened to you in your life, he was right beside you. When you fell down the swing and bruised your knee during both your early childhood days, he wiped your tears using his sweater’s sleeve. When your parents fought continuously back in middle school, he’d invite you to sneak out of your house and stay the night over at his. When you fell in love with his best friend in high school, of course he stayed. How could he ever leave you?

Even when he’s standing outside the college house party Atsumu Miya threw, getting a call from your friend that you were wasted out of your mind and in need of a safe and sober ride home, resisting wasn’t possible.

The door aggressively flew open and there he saw your intoxicated face light up at the sight of him. With a poor attempt to tap on your friend’s chest with the back of your hand while you pointed at the pudding head, you gawked.

“Hey, Rin. Isn’t that Kodzuken? The famous streamer dude? What’s he doing here?”

Suna rolled his eyes and lightly slapped the back of your head. “Idiot, you’ve known Kenma since you were kids.”

You gasped as you rubbed your head. “Kenma is Kodzuken!?”

The brunette held back the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose and turned to Kenma. “I’m sorry you’ll have to deal with this, Kozume. It’s just- they should really get home.” “It’s fine, this is nothing new.” He shakes his head and reaches his hand out to take you back to his car. You giggled as Kenma gently pulled your arm towards him and turned around to look at the party one more time to loudly voice out your goodbyes. “Bye Rinnie! Bye Shoyo!” The second name caught Kenma’s full attention. “Shoyo’s here?”

“Hey Kenma!” Hinata laughed behind Suna and poked his head out for the two-toned hair colored male to see. It was obvious that he was tipsy as well as he glanced at you with hazy eyes and shyly smiled with a lackadaisical wave of farewell.

“Come on, Shoyo. Don’t get shy on me now!” You giggled again and returned the wave while with a roll of his eyes, Suna headed back inside.

Kenma eyed the two of you, he’s pretty sure something happened between his two close friends, but he couldn’t place what.

“I’ll see you around, Shoyo.” He avoided looking at the ginger’s orbs while he continued practically dragging you to his car. Hinata broke eye contact with you and faced the streamer. “Huh? Oh yeah. Bye, Kenma!” When he went back to the party, you looked up at the boy who had the heart to deal with you and smiled. “Yo, Kodzuken’s leading me to his car. Am I getting kidnapped right now? I should record this.” You tried to reach for the phone in your pocket, but Kenma stopped you before you could even touch the device. “You’ll drop it.”

You pouted. “Fine, where are we going anyway?”

Opening the passenger’s seat for you, he led you to sit down “Your dorm, you can recline the seat if you feel ti-”

“Aw man, but I wanted to see Tetsu!” Your face dropped playfully.

Though what you said made Kenma’s chest sting. Your high school crush on Kuroo was no shocker to him, but he didn’t really expect it to last this long.

“He’s busy.” He lied then shut your door closed, walking to the other side of the car and positioned himself to sit on the driver’s seat in front of the wheel. In truth, all his roommate was doing was watching Grey’s Anatomy out of boredom. “Busy doing what? I swear Kenma if you’re covering for him while he’s watching p-”

Kenma hurriedly started the car for the engine to distract you, having a solid idea of what kind of pervertedness you were about to say. “Let’s go.”

You had a pout and a smirk combined on your face. “Fine fine, you’re no fun.”

Guiding you to your dorms wasn’t easy, especially since you wouldn't stop escaping from Kenma’s hold to run around and bump into walls or people. The latter always ended up with him timidly apologizing on your behalf. Thank goodness your actions have calmed down, though he was really tempted to staple your mouth shut ever since you started singing “Snezhnaya’s Greatest Love Machine” non-stop.

“TAR- TAR- TAGLIA-”

“Y/N, it’s 1 AM. People are sleeping.”

Now inside your apartment, Kenma helped you take off your shoes before taking off his. You then ran to your couch and attempted to plop your body onto it. While it did work for a split second, you fell to the floor not later. You laughed while Kenma held back a sigh and proceeded to enter further in the apartment, walking towards the kitchen.

A wide goofy smile found home on your face. “Kenma Kenma, guess what I did at the party.”

He sounded a hum from the kitchen that you were able to hear. He walked to the couch with a glass of water for you in his hand while waiting for your next response.

Covering your eyes with the back of your hands and your silly smile turning bashful, you squealed. “I kissed Shoyo!”

Kenma froze and halted his steps. He wasn’t clueless. He knew something went on between the two of you but he would've thought that maybe it was just casual flirting or something less intimate, not a kiss.

But it’s not a big deal. You guys weren't in high school anymore, so why should it matter?

And why does it hurt him?

Face dropping and shoulders slumping more than before, he continued making his way towards the couch. He placed the glass of water on the coffee table that stood beside your figure laying on the floor. “I thought you were saving your first kiss for Kuro…”

You swiftly removed your hands that were covering your eyes and placed them on your sides as you stared at the ceiling.

You sighed. “I’ve been waiting for him for years, you know I can’t wait forever, Kenma.”

He was silent for a moment, his conflicted feelings clouding his thoughts until he opened his mouth to speak. “How did… how did it feel? Your first kiss, I mean.”

“Not what I expected, to be honest. Thought it would've been fireworks and butterflies, but it was better than that. It was like this adrenaline rush, is that weird? I don’t know if it’s because Shoyo’s lips were soft or whatever but it felt really nice.” While you talked, you sat yourself up and grabbed the glass of water to drink.

Kenma quietly nodded and looked away from you, he didn’t know what to feel. Was he supposed to feel some sense of relief that you were slowly getting over Kuroo or was he supposed to feel bothered that you may be using Hinata as a rebound?

After a suspicious minute of silence, he looked back up to check on you. Then, his breath hitched. The look you were giving him was unexplainable and foreign, he’s never seen you look at him like this before. Just exactly what was going through your head?

Kenma blinked a few times, his eyes awkwardly looking at other parts of the room only to find them locked staring into yours again.

His chest slowly but evidently moved up and down. “Is- is everything oka-”

“I want to do it again.” You grinned, tilting your head and admiring his facial features.

“...Do what again?” Kenma’s heart sped up faster than before, if that was even possible.

You steadily leaned forward towards him and smirked. “I'm sure you know exactly what.”

Kenma was still, he barely moved away from you even when your faces were inches apart. Your noses were touching and his quick-paced beating heart felt like it would jump out of his chest at any moment now.

His head was telling him that whatever was happening was a bad idea, but he couldn’t find it in his heart not to move his head a little more forward and close the gap between your lips and his.

The kiss was soft and sensational, Kenma didn’t think that it would feel this passionate. Sure, He has shared kisses with a few other people before, but this was you. The one he’s been in love with for how long? Even he doesn’t know that himself.

When you placed your hands on his shoulders to pull him closer, Kenma slightly flinched. He didn’t make any other move besides hesitantly hold your waist while you moved onto his lap.

But he returned back to reality the moment you tried to slip your tongue into the kiss and lift up his shirt.

‘They’re drunk.’

He immediately pulled away and avoided your eyes once again. “I- we can’t.”

You pouted and cupped his face to make him look at you. “But why? I was enjoying it.”

And that’s when he saw that the look you gave him now was exactly the same look you were giving him before.

Thats when he saw that both looks were full of lust and no love.

“Y/N, you’re drunk.”

He gently moved you off his lap and you frowned. “But-”

“It would be wrong if we continued. I don't want to take advantage of you.” He interrupted you before you could say anything more.

After a few more long minutes of your attempts at convincing him and his firm protests, you passed out, sitting on the floor with your back leaning on the couch. Kenma laid you down on the floor with a pillow from the couch under your head. He would’ve carried you if he could, but who was he kidding? His lanky arms could barely carry a packed milk crate for more than two minutes.

Though no matter how much he told himself there was no warmth in your kiss, he didn’t regret it. Not when it was probably the only time he could be that close to you.

Kenma was right, that was the only time he would be that close to you.

After a week of awkward greetings, shy eye contact, red tinted cheeks and horrible useful advice from personal wingmen Tanaka and Nishinoya, Hinata asked you out. At that moment, your long term crush on Kuroo forgotten, you said yes.

Being with Hinata was the happiest you’ve ever been. Everyone around campus knew about your relationship so it wasn’t much of a surprise when he got down on one knee a month after you two graduated. Though maybe there were some gasps here and there when a ring now complimented your fourth finger whenever you posted a picture of yourself on social media.

“I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to say yes to the shortie’s proposal.” Tsukishima snickered.

“Hey! That’s my fiance you’re talking about!” You glared at the blonde. And then there was Kenma. Kenma who helped Hinata pick out an engagement ring for you, Kenma who needed to create a speech for your wedding as Hinata’s best man, Kenma who now sat in front of you in the living room of the condo unit you shared with his ginger friend a fortnight before your wedding.

Hinata was out taking a night jog, leaving both of you alone together in an uncomfortable silence. It wasn’t always this awkward. Ever since that night, you’ve slowly been becoming distant until no stranger could notice that you two were once the closest friends.

And for a good three years, it made Kenma wonder if you remembered the kiss.

“Ah- you remember what happened that night back in college, right?” Before he could think, he blurted out the question he’s been waiting to ask since the moment he draped a blanket over you after you passed out. “You’ve grown uh- kinda tense around me ever since then.”

You froze and hesitantly looked away from his intense gaze. “Yeah…”

The silence returned and after a long minute that felt like an hour, this time, it was you who broke the quiet tension.

“I’m uh… I’m sorry about that, by the way. You must've been really uncomfortable then.”

“It’s okay…” He trailed, hesitance laced in his voice on what he was about to say next. “I didn’t regret it.”

Your eyes went wide. “Kenma-”

“Y/N.” His hands balled into fists while his intense gaze on you never faltered. “I know you’re marrying Shoyo, but please let me get this off my chest.”

“Kenma, don’t.”

“I’ve… I’ve loved you for so long, you have no idea.”

He’s never done anything like this before and it scared you.

For a while, you were silent and stunned. But when you tried to speak, the front door was heard being unlocked and opened.

“I’m home!” Your lover’s voice rang in yours and Kenma’s ears as his smile seemed to light up the room.

“Sunshine!” After closing the door behind him and taking his shoes off like an overexcited child, Hinata practically sprinted towards you who was sitting on the couch and gave you a quick loving peck before he smiled at his pudding haired friend sitting on the small loveseat across from you. ”Hey, Kenma!”

The moment his name fell from the ginger’s lips did he fully realize what he had done moments prior his best friend opened the door. He told you he loved you. Fuck, what was he thinking?

Kenma snapped back out of his head not a second later and gave a small nod accompanied with a quiet ‘hey’.

You half-heartedly stretched your lips into a smile, Kenma’s words still occupying your thoughts despite your adoring fiance’s presence. “You’re home early.”

“Missed you more than usual.”

“The last time we saw each other was fifteen minutes ago?”

he pouted and hugged you tight to the point where your cheek was smushed with his. “I couldn't wait any longer to see you again!”

Kenma’s heart ached badly to be in Hinata's place right now. Why was it never him? First it was Kuroo and now it was Hinata, leaving the gamer to stand no chance against anyone at any point. He was never even close to being the second choice and the evident love you had for his other friend proved it.

You playfully rolled your eyes and slowly pulled away. “Alright alright, you should take a shower. You reek of sweat.”

Your voice helped Kenma blink out of his thoughts as he shifted uncomfortably on his seat, deciding to get up and take his leave.

“I’ll uh- I should go. Congratulations, you two.”

“Let me walk you out.” You stood up as well, ready to grab your coat.

Before Kenma could open his mouth to object against your actions, Hinata chimed in with a cheeky smile. “Let them walk you out, Kenma. Who knows what may be out there waiting to kidnap the famous Kodzuken.”

You lightly snickered and continued to slip your arms inside the sleeves of your coat.

Kenma kept quiet while he fiddled the bottom of his hoodie with his fingers.

“Let’s go.”

It’s like Kenma sensed some sort of deja vu, remembering when he told you the exact same two words that night before the car ride back to your dorm.

He dropped his head even lower and followed you out the apartment with a shining waving Hinata left inside. You gave your fiance a longing gaze accompanied with a soft smile before closing the door shut once both you and the pudding head were out.

It was silent on the elevator ride down. Kenma would glance at you from the corner of his eye, not once catching you glance back at him. ‘Are they mad?’ He asked himself, as he heard the elevator doors open.

You walked out first, making Kenma question in worry even more. He followed directly behind you until you made a brief stop, your back being his view of sight. After a few more anticipating and suffocating seconds, you turned around to face him, and finally, you mustered up the courage to look him in the eye.

Kenma’s cheeks had no right to beam a light shade of crimson, but something about that look you gave him made his heart soar badly, even when there was no hint of romance for him in your eyes. He could just blame his blush on the chilly weather, though only an outsider to Kenma’s life would believe such fabrication when the boy didn’t mind the cold at all, especially when it was the middle of April in Japan.

“Y/N-”

“Kenma.” You interrupted him with a smile. “If you’d told me your true feelings back when we were teenagers or maybe at the beginning of college even, I would’ve accepted your love in a heartbeat. Maybe you could’ve even stopped that stupid crush I had on Tetsu way earlier.”

You lightly laughed at your own words then looked down at your shoes and breathily sighed before looking back up at his yellow orbs. “But even then, we probably wouldn’t have lasted.”

“If someone told me on any day before that night that I'd fall in love with Shoyo, I would have never believed it. But Ken… He makes me so happy, it’s insane. I never thought that soulmates were real, you know? I never thought that you could love a person this much. I may not be the best at showing it, but I love him, I really do. He’s my sun. He brightens my whole world.”

Kenma saw the sparkle in your eyes whenever you talked about Hinata to others, but it was only now that he’s seen it up close. If your words weren't enough, the look in your eyes alone would’ve convinced anyone that you were indeed madly in love with Hinata.

You reached for Kenma’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “You’ll find someone else who thinks of you as much as I think of him.”

You gave him a sad softened gaze. “That someone can’t be me.”

Retracting your hand and turning your heel slowly, you walked away from him step by step and back into the condo until he couldn’t see you anymore.

And there Kenma was, standing still outside, the atmosphere around him getting colder and colder. It felt as if someone shot a thousand bullets at his heart. You were his sun, the most radiant sun that gave light and warmth to his freezing dim world. He wanted to say how foolish of an icarus he was to want more and fly too close, but he couldn’t. Not when he didn’t want to make the situation even worse than it already was. Not when he was holding back breaking down right in front of you. Not when it was just too painful.

He clutched a hand to his chest, allowing tears to roll down his cheeks as he released the breath he had been holding.

“I’m only a fool for you.”

[erebird]

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