#equius zahaak

[plasticarton]

You can pry them from my cold dead hands

[thegodshavehorns]

OOC.

so Equius's heir of void powers went overboard leading him to be an antimemeitc field or walking black hole.

((It's slightly more complex than that, but you're on the right track.))

((Consider: What could "Do the Void-y thing" mean?))

[nia1sworld]

i havent drawn all the og trolls since 2012ish so i decided to finally do a lineup of my interpretations for all of them!

[artbyifer]

Another zine I'm in is out! please enjoy our Zahaaks.

[equiquest]

OH MY GOD EQUIQUEST JUST BECAME THE 200TH-LONGEST FANVENTURE IN JUST 10 MONTHS

WHY SHOULD I CARE

Well okay, I guess I should introduce it a little bit.

Equiquest: 2010: 2020 is a fanadventure remaster of some story from like 2012 about Equius Zahaak being a kid in Texas going to school with John Egbert, Jade Harley, Vriska Serket, just all of them, all the kids. Why are they all the Homestuck kids and trolls??

BECAUSE ANDREW HUSSIE REAL

Equius is mad that he's written in as the worst character in Homestuck and so goes to confront Hussie, and…

…Hussie literally photoshops him into the story as an Equius who can't make robots and has the strength of a regular child.

And so begins the fight against Hussie. Will the kids be able to save their friend? How many will be thrown into Homestuck? Why is he Aradia and Sollux's cousin and why would he write a story where they kiss?? Why is he so evil????? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SHITPOST HUMOR????????????

Several years ago now, I was one of the co-authors on the original Equiquest adventure, and after several undiagnosed mental health episodes I decided to just drop it and leave forever.

Now I'm more medicated than ever and really bored, so I thought, "Hey what if I did it again for a laugh"

So barring working on animated pages, me and the team (y'all are angels oh my god thank you for donating your time for shitty joke pictures) are doing a good job of updating almost every day in the spirit of a time where Homestuck still existed and updated constantly. We're imagining us someday finishing the full remaster and catching up to where the original cliffhung off at, and then even opening up suggestions to readers, but for now we're just taking it easy as we go.

Please read our funny work and recommend it to friends, comments make us so happy! And if you want to join in, shoot me a message and be over 18 years old I'm begging you I don't need nobody talking to me about FNF in-jokes

[twst-x-homestuck-askblog]

INTRODUCTIONS AND RULES ):<B

carcinoGeneticist has started a memo on Thaumbler

CG: ALRIGHT, THE REST OF YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M GOING TO EXPLAIN TO THESE NON-STUDENTS WHAT IN THE SEVEN FORSAKEN WE ARE DOING IN HERE, AND IF ANYONE TALKS IN HERE BESIDES ME I'M GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE THE JUNIORS FROM THIS GOD FORSAKEN DORM I'M IN. GA: Karkat, I'm Positive That It Would Be Better For Me To Explain This In The Current Situation GA: Ahem, Pardon Him, Dear Viewers. My Name Is Kanaya Maryam, But You May Know Me As Mod Maryam, While The Creator Of The Memo Is Karkat Vantas, or Mod Karkat. GA: You See, Me And Karkat, Together With Other Lucky (Or Maybe Unlucky, Depending In Their Views) Students, Are A Friend Group At Night Raven College, One Of The Most Prestigious Magical Academies In Our World, Twisted Wonderland. GA: We Collectively Decided To Introduce Ourselves By Our Names, Class, Homeland, And Dorm So You May Ask Us About Our Particular Experience In Night Raven College So Far. CG: MY FUCKING TURN, SHUT UP NOW. CG: SINCE I'VE SEEN SOME OF THE BULLSHIT THE PEOPLE IN THAUMBLR CAN PULL, I'M LAYING DOWN SOME GROUND RULES AND YOU BETTER FOLLOW THEM IF YOU DON'T WANT US TO TALK WITH THE HEADMAGE. NO SNITCHING ON MAGICAM TOO, OR I'LL PERSONALLY COME AFTER YOUR FUCKIGN THROAT.

RULE NUMBER 1: NO WEIRD SHIT. WE ARE ALL FRESHMEN, AKA WE ARE MINORS, SO ANY FUNNY BUSINESS WAY TOO DEEP IN WHATEVER STUFF AND YOU GET A BIG FUCKING BLOCK.

RULE NUMBER 2: SAY WHO YOU ARE ASKING STUFF, WE MAY BE MAGES BUT WE DON'T HAVE A MAGIC BALL OF ALL-KNOWINGNESS TO GUESS WHO YOU MEANT.

RULE NUMBER 3: IF YOU ARE OUR HAUSEWARDENS AND YOU SAW THIS BLOG NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T (AKA VIL AND RIDDLE DNI. FUCK IT, AZUL TOO, YOU'RE ON THIN FUCKING ICE)

RULE NUMBER 4: JUST ME AND KAN POST, BECAUSE THESE OTHERS HOUSEWARDENS BOOTLICKERS ARE TOO BUSY FOR THIS APPARENTLY? SO IF WE DIDN'T GET TO YOU, WAIT, AND IF WAITING DOESN'T WORK, WAIT MORE I GUESS, WE ARE IN A SCHOOL AFTER ALL.

RULE NUMBER 5: YES YOU CAN PRY A BIT ON WHAT WE ARE DOING AND WHATNOT, BUT WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY HELL FUCKING NO IF WE WANT TO, SO... THINK BEFORE ASKING OR WHATEVER.

GA: Have You Finished Your Tantrum Filled Rant, Or Should I Wait More For The Introductions? CG: REALLY NICE WAY TO SAY SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK. GO.

GA: As You May Have Seen, There Are Quite A Bit Of Us, So I Will Try To Keep This Short. Each Of Us Wrote A Bit As To Make Mine And Karkat's Work Easier. I'm Kanaya Maryam, I'm From Class 1-A, I Come From The Land Of Scalding Sands And Am From Ignihyde, Much To My Dismay. I'M KARKAT VANTAS, I'M FROM CLASS 1-A, I'M FROM THE QUEENDOM OF ROSES AND AM FROM THE SEVEN FORSAKEN POMEFIORE. Hell0 there 0u0. I'm Aradia Megid0, I'm fr0m class 1-B, am fr0m the Briar Valley and study f0r Scarabia. hI, I'M TAVROS NITRAM. i'M IN CLASS 1-E, I WAS BORN ON, UH, THE SUNSET SAVANNAH AND AM IN OCTAVINELLE (:{ ii'm kiiliing you for thi2 KK. Ii'm 2ollux Captor, Cla22 1-C, 2haftland2 and in fuckiing 2avanaclaw. :33< *tackles you on the ground* Hii! I'm Nepeta Leijon, in class 1-D! I'm furrm Sunset Savannah and am in Purrmefiore with Karkitty! Hiii! H3H3H3! H1 K4RKL3S 4ND K4N >:] 1'M T3R3Z1 PYROP3 FROM CL4SS 1-A 4ND 4M 1N H34RTSL4BYUL. 1'M FROM TH3 SH4FTL4NDS >:] (ALT: hehehe! Hi Karkles and Kan. I'm terezi Pyrope From Class 1-A and am in heartslabyul. I'm from the shaftlands) The name is Vriska Serk8 (Serket for the NERDS!). I'm in class 1-C and am from the Shaftlands. Since I'm soooooooo cool I'm in Diasomnia ::::) D-> Oh my... My name is Equius Zahaak, and I'm from the Shaftlands, though there is STRONG evidence of my birth being from the great Briar Valley. I'm in class 1-B and in the Ignihyde dorm. HoNk. NaMe's gAmZeE MaKaRa, FrOm cLaSs 1-e. I'M FrOm tHiS MiRaClE MoThErFuCkInG PlAcE CaLlEd fLeUr cItY. i'm iN OcTaViNeLlE ToO :o) i'm named Eridan Ampora, and am a noble from the Coral Sea. I study in class 1-D and am in... the fuckin savanaclaw, irk. )(I! 38D i'm Feferi Peixes and am in class 1-D!!! my )(homeland is the Coral Sea and i'm in the Octavinelle dorm!!! 38)

GA: I Do Believe This Is Everyone, So We Are Ending The First Introductory Post. CG: IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ASKS WE ARE GONNA CURSE YOUR BLOODLINE OR WHATEVER. GA: Don't Speak On My Regard, Karkat.

-Mod Karkat and Mod Maryam

[equiquest]

I want to say if you are out there in the world, looking at this very comment response post, that I am deeply grateful for you and those like you who look at the madness of Equiquest and enjoys when it reaches past sheer shitposterie into having some level of dramatic pathos

And also that holy shit I follow back everyone who follows this account and everyone on this site feed has a complete encyclopedic knowledge of FNAF and I was legally too old to play it when it came out, I was born when Homestuck was coming out man I'm from a different time, I look as fucked up as Freddy Frazbear and I don't even know who he is

Equius Zahaak being thrown into Homestuck by Andrew Hussie was The Photoshop of 2010

[babanillustration]

Not chess people content, but apparently i forgot to post this here! This is from early 2020, just forgot to post I guess. PRINTS ON FFBF  MOUSEPADS ON FFBF

MY PATREON

[artbyifer]

@bloodlineszine Bloodlines Nepeta Zine!

[plasticarton]

High bloods 💙💜💖

[cryptiddcroww]

I did it guys! The homestuck right of passage

[artbyifer]

Equius

[error-elf-206]

I did a bunch of sprite redraws a while ago. More to come maybe

[atomic-sludge]

Phew!

Beta troll lineup2: electric boogaloo, postgame/everybody lives edition

[redaart]

you are never gonna guess what I’m reading again

[thegodshavehorns]

Into Thin Air (4/4)

Chapter 4: Without Reason

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you're used to waking up to drunk texts, meaningless encoded notes and scribbles, Rose cuddled up to you, puddles of vomit, and combinations of any and all of the above. Sometimes, you wake up to your skull feeling like it's going to crack open, or to half-forgotten dreams of impenetrable darkness. Once or twice, you've woken to weird bruises on your hands that you can't recall the origins of.

"Rose sweetie, Mom has a hangover," you groan, but school is school and missed busses are missed busses, so you splash water on your face, force down a bit of toast and coffee, and drive your daughter to class.

After the whirlwind of rushing about preparing for the day, you revisit the texts, frowning and squinting at the picture. John, smiling, wearing an adorable dinosaur onesie, surrounded by birthday presents. Not a clown in sight.

You've never known yourself to straight-up _hallucinate _while drunk. Certainly not to hallucinate purple clowns. That's definitely new. You type an apology to Stan, to which he doesn't respond. He may be still asleep, given the time difference.

Anyway, it's time to get to work. You go down to the lab and troubleshoot for a few hours, then take your habitual martini break. Looks like Stan has messaged you back.

I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY, ROXY. I KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE IN A STATE. BUT YOU MUST REALIZE HOW ALARMING IT IS TO HEAR ABOUT CLOWNS FOR SOMEONE IN OUR SITUATION.

You text back, sipping your glass absently.

Because of the gods?

YES. THE IDEA THAT THE

THAT ONE, IN PARTICULAR, IS TARGETING US, IS

TO BE HONEST, 'ALARMING' IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

He hardly ever drops off mid-sentence like that. Poor Stan.

I understand. Hes not exactly my cuppa, either.

Speaking of cuppas, it's time to mix yourself another martini.

I'm sory I scared you.

You scroll up to look at the picture of John again. Maybe you should show it to Rose. Wouldn't it be sweet if they could be pen pals? There's something funny about it again, though. You're not quite sure what. Isn't there something purple-ish on the walls? Maybe not clowns, but... something similar to clowns?

YOU ARE FORGIVEN. ARE YOU DRINKING AGAIN?

lol a little. hey are u SURE there are no clowns in your kids rom?

THIS IS REALLY NOT FUNNY ANYMORE, ROXY.

As you take a sip and download the picture, something hazy and strange occurs to you.

could you take another pic of the kids wall? i need to test somethnig

No reply from the other end.

i mean it this is impoortna.

I WISH YOU WOULD STOP DRINKING.

i have my bsest ideas when im drunking.

As you wait for a reply, you squint your eyes at the picture. John. Presents. Onesie. And a certain undeniable clownishness to the walls that you were absolutely sure wasn't there before.

Miraculously, Stan has sent you more pictures. Pictures of the walls, taken apparently from several angles.

They all still give you a clowny feeling, one that's getting stronger with every sip of your martini. You pour yourself a straight shot of vodka, then down it in one. For science.

Every wall of the room is covered in horrible purple clowns.

You have to put the phone down and take a breath. What is this? You giggle. This isn't funny but you giggle.

clnwns everrywere. sencd mor picsf f rooms.

ROXY, IN GOOD CONSCIENCE I SHOULD ASK YOU TO LIE DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE DAY FOR THIS.

mor picx stanny

I WON'T ENABLE THIS. IF YOU WANT MORE PICTURES WHEN YOU SOBER UP, I WILL SEND THEM.

You frown at the phone, and continue texting. Why won't he help you with this? There are clowns, awful clowns, all over the walls of his kid's room - isn't that important? You only see them when you're drunk, which maybe means Stan doesn't drink enough to see them. You will fix that. You need to send him something strong. Vodka.

You stagger into your room's private bar, and grab the Grey Goose. Or... would Stan be more of an Absolut guy?

Then you hear a soft noise, look up, and see Him.

You didn't hear anyone come in, but there's a god here, in your house. In your room, with you. His skin is gray. A single horn with an arrow tip arcs up from his head. The other one is broken off, leaving a stump. He's wearing dark glasses and a midnight blue-black hood with a trailing end that drags on the ground. He's long-haired and unreasonably tall. And fuck, this guy is built.

Your mouth feels like it's lagging several minutes behind your mind. "What're you doing...? In my...?" Then you blink. You were raised in a legal seminary. And yet... you don't know which god this is.

"It's alright, Roxy," he says, his voice softer than you expected. You relax instinctively, like hearing the voice of an old friend. Who is this? "I know you don't remember me. But you need to trust me when I tell you we have met before."

"How'd you...?"

"You told me where you keep your spare key." The god smiles, almost apologetically. His teeth are perfect and sharp. "Under the flower pots beside the outer stairwell."

"But..." Your mind is whirling. Who is this??? "Who....?"

"You call me Sagittarius." The air around him shimmers, and he's now wearing a magnificent, midnight blue fitted suit, emblazoned on the arms and legs with white symbols of sagittarius, and silver cufflinks that look somewhat like the spiraling sigil for space.

Saggy! The notes! The missing god! GODS, it all makes sense! "You," you manage. "Talk to me. When 'm like this, and I don't remember. Why?"

"This is the only time you can see me. It is not an ideal situation. But if I appeared to you otherwise, the other gods would know I was here. They must not know I'm here, lest they join to war against me. I need to wait for the exact right time."

You blink, really only retaining half of it. "You don' like em."

Sagittarius nods. "I do not support the project to recreate the Game, which involves you. So, I must submit to my situation."

"Yeah well, join the clubbo bucko." If you drink any more, you might not be able to hold your end of the conversation, but you're tempted.

"You've said as much previously, yes."

Hell. You reach for the nearest bottle (Grey Goose? Why did you take that out?) but Sagittarius takes your hand in his. His grip is powerful, almost painful, but not quite. You're too sloshed to care. Instead, you giggle. "Holdin' hands now, handsome? Take me t' dinner first."

He breaks out in a sweat. "You wouldn't remember it, if I had."

You giggle, though you're not sure if that's a joke.

He takes off his sunglasses to stare into your unfocused eyes, and his gaze is as blue as the sea. "D --> 100k at me, Ro%y. You must write a note to yourself. You need to tell your boss, the Mage, that John Egbert is in e%treme danger from the Bard, and that he must move to protect the boy. You must write this to yourself e%actly, with as few mistakes as possible, so you remember it later."

His grip on your hand tightens, very slightly, and you feel like he's millimeters from snapping your finger bones. You feel no fear at all.

"Oh," you say. "Okay, then. I've got some um, questions."

He smiles again. "For you, I will answer all of them."

You wake up to a pounding headache, a bruised hand, Rose sleeping on the porch, a bunch of pictures of blank walls from Stanley, and a coded note stuffed into your brassiere.

When you finally get around to decoding it, you're shocked to see that the note is actually meaningful this time.

tell him drunks clowns are from Bard. protec kid.

You're not sure, at first, whether to believe yourself. Your drunk self is not necessarily dependable. After all, you apparently stole the spare key from under the flowerpot in your last drunken spree, which was unfortunate for poor Rose, who had to wait outside until you woke up in the wee hours of the morning.

Anyway, you do tell Stan about the 'drunk clowns' being from the Bard. He seems to take it pretty seriously, and asks how to assuage the Carnivale's wrath. You are not sure, but suggest that he display respect for clowns.

The next time you video chat, he's got a clown painting framed on his wall, plain as sober day.