#episode: old dog new tricks

[cryscendo]

i’m proud to be different. it’s the best thing about me.

KURT HUMMEL FROM GLEE (insp)

[jauntilyplacedcaps]

[gleesongtournament]

[gleetournaments]

The Ultimate Episode Tournament: Round 1 Match 11

[augustusaugustus]

12.10 Old Dogs, New Tricks

Another new technology episode, this time a crime database computer system. Reg thinks it’s brilliant, the chief inspectors are not convinced and Tony hates its guts.

[theromanticrationalist]

Just finished A Little Snip and Teaching Old Dogs! Definitely have a lot to say here, but I know the next episode is THE EPISODE. And I'm SO NOT OKAY. It is also upsetting because I feel like with this episode the season feels like it is just settling in, and not coming to its end. sigh. Btw, that was so messed up that George got a vasectomy without telling Mary! I was so glad that it came and bit him in the. . .you know what, in the end. Mary and George's marriage always had that problem where they struggled with communicating with one another. Makes me think of the episode of TBBT where Amy tells Sheldon that that isn't how they were going to do their relationship/marriage, and how their relationship is so strong because they communicate and talk through everything to make sure they are on the same page. They bicker a lot, but they are honest and share one another's hearts. 🥰

If only George could have seen his little boy so happily married and successful. *cries into the spacetime manifold*

[ophernelia]

🤫

Eloise strides forward, heavy boots crunching the branches and leaves underneath her feet. Kellen follows, struggling to catch up with his daughter as she navigates her way through the trees. She stops as she reaches a clearing. Looking around silently as she struggles to discern which way the bison ran. "Eloise!" Kellen pants out, swallowing hard as he struggles to steady his breath. He notes that he's clearly out of shape and not as good a hunter as he once was. The last year of slow living at the Redwater compound has done him no good. Eloise answers, her eyes still shifting around the area searching for signs of recently moved bracken. "You're interrupting my hunt." Her tone is sharp and to her father, insulting even- but he pays it no mind. "I think you should at least hear him out." he says still panting, though his breaths are beginning to steady. "He's your grandfather." He adds. Eloise rolls her eyes. She had heard her father beg her to speak to Arenthal a thousand times now, each time his tone more desperate than the last. "I don't want his blood money and I don't give a damn about what else he has to say". Kellen starts "It's not blood money-" but Eloise quickly retorts already knowing how his sentence will end. "It is. He gets paid to kill people." Kellen scoffs, annoyed with Eloise's newfound sense of morality. "So does every fast food chain in America. It's hardly any different." Eloise whips around to face her father, her face contorted with anger now. "It's not the same and you know that."

[demonic-werewolf]

Okay, time for some Thoughts

god, this episode was SO GOOD at building tension. Here's some thoughts, in no particular order.

something is up with Carla. I don't know what, and maybe it's just residual emotion from 73 yards, but she names "The Beast" before anyone else has a chance to think, and that's weird. "I know it's name, it's the beast!" Ma'am???

I have not seen Pyramids of Mars or whatever the episode was where our new(old) big bad shows up, but I'm familiar with Set, so imagine my surprise when he showed up and was...a dog

did no one else find it strange that Ruby's mom just kinda...fades away? vanishes? that's weird right?

Not sure what's up with our Mrs Flood, but it's definitely something. Maybe she's Susan? I haven't seen much classic who but she makes more sense to me than Susan Twist

We have the names of most, if not all, of the pantheon members

Cannot believe that the "Arbinger" surname trick worked TWICE!!

if I had a nickle for every time the TARDIS was part of the big bad's plan, I would have AT LEAST two nickles. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that the Doctor keeps falling for it

That summoning speech was incredible though

WAIT WAIT WAIT HARRIET SAYS "I WAS BORN FOR THIS" ABOUT DECODING THE IMAGE

[honeyjars-sims]

Drag Superstar Episode 5: The Finale

Diamond: Hello and welcome to the finale of Drag Superstar! Tonight we will be catching up with all of the contestants and finding out who will be crowned this season's Ultimate Drag Superstar!

As always, I'm joined by my fantastic panel of judges. Please welcome Diego Lobo, Penny Pizzazz, and Izzy Fabulous! Judges, who do you think will be taking home the crown tonight?

Diego: For me, it has to be Lady Astrid! The artistry she's brought is unmatched!

Penny: I love Lady Astrid, but I haven't been able to get Vapore LaWave out of mind mind since the acting challenge!

Izzy: I'm rooting for Velvet Envy. She's serving up glamour on a silver platter, and I'm eating it up!

Diamond: Thank you, judges! Before we crown our winner, let's see what life has been like for our queens since the season started. First up, it's Kylee Kouture. Kylee, your time on the show was short, but you've had social media buzzing.

Kylee: Yes, the internet can't get enough of my looks--and okay, maybe I've been running my mouth a bit, too!

Diamond: I heard that you and Jacqueline had some beef on Social Bunny. Can you tell me about that?

Kylee: Well, apparently some old, bitter queens can't handle us younger girls getting attention.

Jacqueline: I'll tell you exactly what happened, Diamond. All I've heard from the clubs I've been performing in is how Kylee is always late, she's being a diva, she's cancelling gigs...so yes, I had some words with her on SB about how you have to earn your dues in this business.

Kylee: Yeah, whatever. Jealousy is an ugly trait. Anyway, my follower count shows who the public really loves.

Jacqueline: The followers you bought?

[The other queens laugh]

Diamond: Ok, let's move on. Darla, how has life been for you after the show?

Darla: It's been great, Diamond! Despite our conflicts in the girl group challenge, I've gotten close to Vixen and Vapore. And I'm releasing a single!

Diamond: A single???

Darla: Yes, I took some voice lessons and I've really improved!

Jacqueline: I've heard they're doing amazing things with autotune these days!

Darla: [laughing] Okay, I'll admit there was a lot of autotuning, but it's a fun track!

Diamond: I can't wait to hear it! Vixen, how is your ankle?

Vixen: It's doing fine! I had some physical therapy and it's healed well. I'm happy that it hasn't impacted my burlesque act!

Diamond: I'm so happy to hear that! And I want to let you know that you're welcome to rejoin us next season to have another shot at competing!

[The queens applaud]

Vixen: Thank you so much! No more injuries, I promise!

Diamond: I'm going to hold you to that! Valerie, when you left the show, you were dealing with some difficulties at home. How are things going now?

Valerie/David: Well, Diamond, everything has been wonderful! My son was going through a rough time, but he really turned it around. I'm really proud of him! I'm proud of all of my children. My oldest daughter is getting married and touring with her band, and my younger daughter is starting a business.

Diamond: That's fantastic! It seems like you didn't have anything to worry about after all.

Valerie/David: That's right. It's a relief knowing that I've set my kids up with a good foundation. Even when times get tough, they know how to pull through. I've learned I can't control everything, but I also don't need to.

*I forgot to take a solo pic of Jacqueline, oops

Diamond: What a wonderful lesson to learn! Thank you Valerie. Now it's time to catch up with our finalists, starting with Jacqueline Galloway. Has your life changed since the show?

Jacqueline: Well, you've already heard about my conflicts, but there have been a lot of positives as well. I've been booked and busy. It turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks!

Diamond: Tell me about it! Any more social media fights in your future?

Jacqueline: I'm going to try to let my career do the talking from now on.

Diamond: Wise decision. Lady Astrid, how has the show impacted your life?

Lady Astrid: In the best ways, Diamond! I have more time and money to work on new looks and it's really pushed me as an artist. Plus, I've had a lot of trans youth tell me I've inspired them to express themselves freely.

Diamond: That must make you feel good!

Lady Astrid: It really does. It shows how important visibility is to our community.

Diamond: Absolutely! Thank you, Lady Astrid. Next up, Vapore LaWave. How has life after the show surprised you?

Vapore: Well, going into this competition, I never thought of myself as being a funny person. But everyone really loved my campy performance in the acting challenge!

Diamond: You were hysterical!

Vapore: Thank you! Since the show, I've been taking acting lessons. I'm always up for expanding my skill set!

Diamond: That's great! Best of luck to you! And last but not least, it's Velvet Envy! Velvet, how do you feel about your performance on the show?

Velvet: I'm feeling very proud! I didn't know what to expect going in, but I'm happy that I not only won a challenge, but I've made it all the way to the finale.

Diamond: It's well deserved!

Velvet: Thank you! I never thought I would come this far when I started doing drag on a whim years ago!

Diamond: And look at you now! Thank you to all of my queens for making this a season to remember.

Diamond: And now it's the moment you've all been waiting for. I've taking the opinions of the judges and the viewers into consideration, but ultimately this was my decision to make. The winner of this season of Drag Superstar, our Ultimate Drag Superstar, is...

[dramatic pause]

Diamond: Lady Astrid!!!

[confetti falls from the ceiling as everyone applauds]

Condragulations, Lady Astrid! Do you have any words to share?

Lady Astrid: This is for anyone who's ever been told that they can't be who they are. Let our voices of love drown out the hate!

Thank you to @sirianasims for sharing Lady Astrid and Velvet Envy with me, and @invisiblequeen for Vapore LaWave! I enjoyed having them in this project!

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[mylittleredgirl]

m*a*s*h reaction post released from my drafts!! i don't know why i have been worried about making a Good Post when legitimately everything that could ever be said about this show has been said.

so i will SHARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT SEASON THREE currently in progress:

ooooh war got a sweet budget increase in the off-season. pyrotechnics! helicopters! ACTIONNN BAYBEEEE

i'm falling more in love with everyone, details to follow

top of the list: trapper my bestie has been promoted to trapper my legit fictional crush 💕

don't get me wrong, in real life i would slap his face, but i'm with hot lips on this one. the hair, the smile, every time he takes off his shirt... take me to the supply tent or lose me forever

HOWEVER, i happened to notice that he is not on the header pic on hulu* and none of you talk about him so i must regretfully conclude that he will eventually leave the show

DON'T TELL ME WHEN

anyway i am cherishing him as one cherishes an old dog not long for this world

*speaking of hulu: i have now joined the henry blake appreciation society thanks to this One Weird Trick (reupping my hulu account for a month because i lost my shit after the dvds cut out at the climax of an episode AGAIN)

i went back to rewatch the episodes that didn't play on the dvds, and turns out a lot of them were henry eps (including the trial of henry blake and the one where he is waiting for news about his new baby...) (and also the one where he fell in love with a cheerleader but you can’t win ‘em all)

just in time to appreciate that scene in "o.r." where he tells hawkeye he doesn't want to be discharged so that he can keep doing real doctoring 🥺

"o.r." had so many good character bits!! even frank got some depth?? or at least an explanation for why he's Like That...

other eps i liked:

"iron guts kelly" -- felt like a follow-up to the one last season where hot lips got wasted and broke up with frank and then hawkeye and trapper had to sober her up, which i also loved! "we hate her but she's OURS to hate" is such a good character dynamic.

also lmao every time she cheats on frank, GET YOURS GIRL 😘

the frank/margaret thing is strangely compelling actually? it's like an inverse ship for real. will-they-or-won't-they but for breaking up. same energy though, like i'm glued to the screen rooting for them to fight instead of kiss.

"check-up" i was sooooo brave you guys making peace with the situation BUT THEN TRAPPER STAYED!!! i feel like my crush has been given a stay of execution

i don't know if i ship it per se but i really hope he and margaret hook up exactly once and literally everyone regrets it

i've seen some more episodes and have more thoughts but i need to lie down a lot first

oh one more thing:

i realize "m*a*s*h actors amazing" is not breaking news, but i'm specifically obsessed right now with how they are always interacting with props. i don't even mean the o.r. tools or scripted things, but how in every scene they're doing comedy while also moving crap around, pouring things, drinking, shaving, changing clothes, handing (or THROWING) things to each other, just making a mess all the time while still hitting their lines and comic beats. it's a master class in whatever that is.

anyway it's so good!!! more to come 💕

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

I can see the inconsistency of Felix character is because he actually a character for there "Fans demand" :

Sooo you prefer 2D-Catnoir/Felix rather than our angel Adrien ? Here Felix ! He official debut in "Felix" ! He is Adrien cousin and a big jerk ! Hate him just like how I hate him too !

Wh- What ? You like him ? Fuck ! So you feel he is more competent that our pure evulz bitch teenagers ? Fine ! Here's Felix who manage to trick Gabriel in "Gabriel Agreste" ! Now He is as dangerous as Gabe

Oh Fuck ! You still like him and feel he is more "relevant" than our angel Adrien and my sweetie Marinette ? Here's I present YOU Felix join Miracuclass as "Dog Hero" and then sell all the Miraclouses to Gabe ! He is Evil ! EVil ! EVIIIIL !

What ? You asking me why he want Peacock Miraculous so much ?! Here I present you Felix as Argos ! He wiped humanity out-of-spite and try to create the Utopia for his own freedom ! He is misanthrope !

What A second ? Why... You... STILL.... EXPECTED... CHLOE... TO BE REDEEMED.... why she already... has many traits... to be put in "Complete Monster" territory ? Why YOU keep want her to be redeem like Zuzu and Pacifica just because having shitty parents ? FINE ! Here's Felix to be our Zuzu ! He is tragic little peacock... has tragic backstory.... shitty dad... and a handsome teenager.... pretty much like Zuzu right ? Now shut up and Go simp on him and Feligami already !

Proper redemption arc ? Who hell need redemption arc as long as he is "tragic and handsome" ? Don't worry... we will make Kagami as "senti" out-of-nowhere aside she wear different ring as excuse and a "horny possessive girl" who still can't move on from Adrien and make her Simp felix because he smell and looks like Adrien RIIIIIIIIIIIGHHT LOL

Honestly, it is pretty hilarious that Felix was meant to be seen as the actual character who went through a serious redemption arc compared to Chloe, when the writers pretty much speedran through every major part of it in time for the finale.

Like, say what you will about Chloe and whether or not you think she deserved to be redeemed, but at least the arc leading to her betrayal was spread across three seasons. Felix's redemption arc only lasted three episodes.

Because of the poor pacing, this is the character journey Felix goes through during the latter half of Season 5.

Emotion: "I'm going to wipe out all of humanity and create a better world! Wait, you think I'm insane for erasing your friends and family from existance while essentially committing mass genocide? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

Pretension: "Even though I've spent almost no time with you, I think I'm falling in love with you because you may be a Sentimonster person with strict parents like me. Of course, I don't love you enough to break my new moral code against using Sentimonsters or even answering for my betrayal of Ladybug."

Representation: "I'm finally going to do something to help Ladybug because her arch-enemy is getting in the way with my week-old relationship, and that moral code against Sentimonsters? I don't want to use Sentimonsters to fight, but using Sentimonsters to put on a play to convey information I could easily tell Ladybug myself, since my new girlfriend conviently learned her identity over ten episodes ago? Perfectly okay. And since I have a personal stake by wanting to protect both my cousin and girlfriend, surely, this means I'll get to play a big part in the season finale instead of just letting Ladybug do all the work, right?"

Conformation and Re-Creation:

[cryscendo]

kurt hummel in every performance

5x19 - Old Dog, New Tricks

Take Me Home Tonight - Artie Abrams, Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones, Sam Evans, Santana Lopez, and Maggie Banks

“Thank you for all your support, but Rachel isn't giving herself enough credit. I mean, this is a true collaboration, and we're just happy to be giving back.”

[jauntilyplacedcaps]

[gleesongtournament]

Glee Song Tournament Round 2

[twinsarekeepers]

I knew as soon as I watched the five minutes of the new show, the 28 year olds on this app who complain about everything would not be satisfied because y’all don’t just think for a moment.

All of you complain to kingdom come about “telling, not showing” but ignore what the show is actually doing. The seven year olds watching this show do not know who the fuck Procrustes is lmaooo. Yeah, the show is just going to tell them. It also just makes sense for Percy to know who he is in the show because Hermes gave them a map (and I can go into why including Hermes last episode was such a good detail but that’s for a different post).

This is the same problem y’all had with Medusa and the Lotus Casino because y’all are, again, not remembering who the show is actually for. For your 8 year old niece who has no knowledge base in Greek mythology because she’s in third grade.

Now, if you guys could actually get that through heads, then you’d actually appreciate what they ARE showing, not telling, which is all the character beats. But, y’all complain about that too because it’s not shoved in your face.

Annabeth is not going to say “I love architecture.” Because that would be telling, not showing. So, they had her rave about the Arch to her friends in the most wondrous tone of voice with her big, bright eyes, giddy with happiness. Because kids can infer from that that she loves architecture.

She’s not going to be like “I love dogs and animals.” Because that would be telling, not showing. So, they have her know how to get him to get him to sleep, and when Percy pulls her up from the cliff edge, she moves past him, with the most dejected and heartbroken face (that y’all don’t notice because I guess you’re too busy seething about why the scene isn’t exactly like how you imagined it when you were 12 years old) and throw the ball to Cerberus AGAIN. And then, just as a little cherry on top, Grover asks where she knows how to do that and she talks about her dad. Because kids can infer that she remembers those tricks because she loved the dog.

And the complaints about Annabeth not having a personality or feelings (????) in the show are so hollow. She literally almost cries OR DOES CRY in every single episode since 3. When Percy says that he could never imagine them being friends. When she’s talking about her family on the train. When she realizes Athena let Echidna into the Arch. I don’t even need to talk about episode 5 because that whole ep was just Annabeth feeling feelings. When she’s talking about May. When Hermes tries to touch her hand. When she’s literally rooted to the ground in the Fields of Asphodel and Grover asks what she has to regret.

Notice how all these complaints are about Annabeth? Yeah, I WONDER WHY. You guys are so transparent.

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)