#episode ref

[disaref]

Pilot

Season 1, Episode 1

Summary: Dwight accidentally awakens an entire medieval kingdom hidden outside his suburban town.

Dwight riding bike past farmer’s market on his way to school

Begins to talk with Jules (Juliet) in hallway

He verifies that a strawberry she offers is organic before taking it

She asks him to take a picture of an endangered bellybutton owl for her newspaper article

He agrees eventually despite being busy with other things, including a bingo night fundraiser

Fast forward through school day

Crosses several items off of to-do list until he arrives at “Owl Pic for Jules”

Rides his bike to Woodside Woods

Sets bike down as he looks for owl to take picture of

As he spots it and is taking a picture, the ground gives way beneath his feet

Screaming as he falls into a dark chamber directly onto Princess Gretta

As he moves to get up, there is a kissing noise as he accidentally kisses her

He coughs from the dust immediately afterwards

Gretta opens her eyes

Dwight screams, rapidly pushes himself away and falls backward, growing increasingly terrified as she rises

Gretta rises to her feet and pulls out her sword, raising it towards him

Gretta: “Mortal enemy, or harmless peasant?”

Dwight is panicking, when Baldric comes in and stops her

Baldric explains that Dwight is Champion of the Champion Spell

Gretta begins to insult him in incredulity that he is her Champion

Dwight asking why this is necessary

Comprehensive list of insults Dwight is called in this episode: little wiggling worm, mucus-y little toad, little rabbit pellet, spineless tadpole, snivelling little weakling, grotesque little pustule

Dwight tries to stop it and smooth it over with diplomacy

Gretta demands a new champion, and the Champion Spell is explained why that is impossible

Contract of the Champion Spell: By waking this Princess with your kiss/ you agree to perform the office and/ function of her Champion until her/ hordes of enemies are defeated.

Dwight doesn’t believe this

He also does not want to have more obligations than he does already

As he is explaining this, he backs away into a troll

Screams

Gretta tackles him and Baldric uses magic to restrain the troll while they escape

[End cap of the intro with the card that shows the title of the show]

Dwight collapses once the are above ground to catch his breath

Introductions are made

Gretta roughly knights him “Sir Dwight”

Well established again that Gretta has enemies everywhere and Dwight is insistent that he did not kiss Gretta because it was an accidentally

Champion spell explained while fleeing through the woods

Dwight riding bike with both of them in tow

Going back to Woodside High

Farmer’s Market

Bill (farmer’s market guy): “The Renaissance Fair is setting up right over there.”

Gretta eating all the plums and Dwight paying for it before pulling her away

Where Gretta was raised: cliffside fortress, desert fortress, swamp fortress, underground fortress, forest fortress

Determine it was over a thousand years since the Champion Spell was cast

Ominously looking at modern things, i.e. motorcycle, skateboarding, etc.

Ominous monstrous hand rising from forest floor

Ominous bushes rustling behind Jules until Baldric, Gretta, and Dwight come outright

Introductions… go poorly

Dwight: “This is my turf, now. What we are going to call Nice… Nice Turf.”

Shakespeare Improv Troupe

Dwight Gives Juliet bellybutton owl picture

Go to Bingo Night Fundraiser

Dwight tells Baldric to stop introducing Gretta everywhere they go

Dwight missing some of his obligations

Baldric and Gretta ransacking the bake sale until Dwight stops themselves

Forces Dwight to check for poison

Dwight: “No. Nobody poisoned the Rice Krispie treats.”

Gretta has been fighting since she was old enough to hold a sword at two

Glee club president comes up to be friendly and Gretta immediately starts choking him not even looking at him

“Harmless peasant” to disengage

Dwight: “Every guy you see is not trying to kill you.” [Lights flicker and doors thrown open as Chlodwig in black suit of armor enters.] “Okay that guy’s trying to kill you.”

Swordfight until Chlodwig gets the upper hand

Dwight interrupts in his own way, by talking

Namecalling again upon discovering that he is Gretta’s Champion (see above for names)

Chlodwig picks Gretta up and carries her off

Everyone thought it was a great performance

Dwight and Baldric pursue on bike as they return to the woods

Dwight: “Well, as far as I’m concerned, I’m a freakin’ hero just for giving your butt a ride, warrior princess girl is not my problem.”

Baldric explains that if Gretta dies her Champion does as well

Gretta hanging over a pit of dragon fire

Chlodwig: “Call me… sugar plum.”

It is obvious he wants to marry her, Gretta clearly isn’t happy about it

He acts out the roles of everyone at a wedding

Dwight and Baldric show up

Chlodwig dislikes being so rejected and threatens to cut her down and leave her to the dragon

Dwight realizes that he needs to deal with this with diplomacy and starts to talk to Chlodwig

Dwight: “I didn’t come here to fight.” Chlodwig: “You came to die, then?”

Dwight is trying to get him up to speed on the world

Chlodwig: “I am on a quest to win the hand of Princess Gretta by fair means or foul.”

Dwight: “She’s just not that into you, man.”

Guy Club

Rules:

Don’t feed girls to dragons.

Instead, write a sad poem, learn a few chords on the guitar, and sing that to other girls

Chlodwig: “I am in your debt, Guy Club brother.”

Dwight gets Dwetta down with swinging a bit

Dwight: “I am the king of Nice Turf.”

Gretta: “You are not the Champion I expected. But… you may be the Champion I need.”

Figure out where they will live now, as Dwight’s neighbors

Planning out fortifications for the house

Gretta tries to start teaching Dwight sword fighting

Dwight: “Your look is awesome. Don’t change a thing.”

“It’s not going to get much worse than that, right? Right?”

Pizza peasant

[hinamie]

truth is, I used to dream about boys like you

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[fence-time]

Enamoured by Skizz’s enderman <3

[umblrspectrum]

hi heres art so you pay attention to me now go read the tags

[andromedaexile]

They both reached for the gun phaser!

Inspired by @peachviz

[camarilla-arts]

While still fixated on TMNT at large, I am especially not able to stop thinking about Bad End Ninja Turtles, an au comic by @butterfilledpockets. 2003's "Same as it Never Was" Raph may not have ever experienced the Ninja Tribunal arc, AND I don't think Rise movie Leo still has his powers, so maybe this was just as much of a surprise for the both of them as it was for Ronin. at least we know for sursies Don-bot has seen magic shit before.

[mochasucculent]

Gilf on gilf psychological warfare

[bressynonym]

🛏️

[unamusedyams]

Growth Spurts 🌱

[muckyschmuck]

dont STEAL ANYTHING ON YOUR WAY OUT

[disaref]

Episode Masterpost

Show summary: While exploring the woods outside his suburban town, Dwight (a 21st century teen) accidentally awakens a Gothic princess, Gretta, along with her court magician Baldric, and scores of medieval villains.

Season 1

1: Pilot

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Do you think that the HoM crew knows about Randy’s fear of chickens?

(I both hope they do and don’t. Do, because it’s overall funny to think about and Don’t, because I’m sure Randy’s really self conscious about his fear and worries about judgment from anyone)

if it comes up, im sure most of them would be understanding (after all, phobias sometimes can't be helped) after some good natured ribbing

but i have a feeling that Randy might try his best to seem tough in front of them and some would probably take the teasing... a bit too far

imagine ghost clowns tho >;)

[g1rlb4it]

guess who got around to making refs and definitely did not put off making them for a year!!!!!

[hyakunana]

BREAKING NEWS: The most miserable man that ever stepped in DPG is winning and about to make everyone as miserable while looking good at it

[mintypsii]

sogesoba doooddleeeeeee they won't GET OUT OF MY BRAIN

[roses-luckride-art]