#epic: odysseus

[somepsychopomp]

and so what if I said I was drafting a fic where Eris tosses a golden apple among the gods but instead of "for the fairest" it says "for the best kingly lover" or something like that and both Zeus & Poseidon reach for it at the same time.

naturally neither will back down since their pride and reps are on the line. Both have had many lovers over the years and regard themselves as outrageously good and definitely better than the other at sex, but how can they determine who should rightfully get the apple & the bragging rights?

Well, they should share a lover and have them judge the two divine brothers. But what lucky mortal should get such a privilege?

Someone good looking themself, who'd be able to appreciate the sublime attention bestowed upon them. Someone young and without much experience, or preferably none, so they have little in terms of expectations or past lovers to compare to (not that either god thinks that any mortal could ever compare to them in bed)

Someone intelligent, who'd most certainly make the right choice (AKA after being bribed a little or a lot)

Someone like... why, Athena's darling pupil, the young King of Ithaca!

Odysseus is currently a bachelor king, but doesn't squander his life or status on heaps of whores. He lives a rather humble life, contributing to the construction of his palace himself, plowing the fields, and making frequent appearances among his people.

By the time Athena catches wind of who her father & uncle have chosen for their little contest, it's too late. She cannot dissuade them or rush to hide Odysseus- for she knows that no matter who he chooses, the loser would be more than willing to exact revenge against her student or his people.

There's also one other problem for Ody. A tiny, miniscule problem that doesn't even register as a concern in Zeus' or Poseidon's eyes.

Odysseus of Ithaca is engaged and madly in love with his future bride, and he will want no part in either god's attention.

But it's too late.

On one particularly beautiful day, Odysseus wakes up to a cloudless sky and the warm sun shining down on his island. The rocky coast is usually a darker shade of blue from the rough surf, but today the ocean glitters like sapphire and silver. Odysseus thinks today would be a wonderful day to go for a morning swim so he heads to the beach alone. And wouldn't you know it, right outside his palace is a little cove he's never noticed before. How strange, given that he's confident he knows every inch of his island.

Odysseus sheds his clothes and sandals, baring his body but feeling safe within the high walls of the little sunlit cove, and slips into the water. Another pleasant surprise- the sea is much warmer than he was expecting for so early in the morning!

He sinks beneath the water and luxuriates in the feeling, swimming a little farther out. It takes just a few breaths before he's nearly upon a large boulder jutting from the surf, a miniature island in the cove. Odysseus thinks it'd be great exercise to touch it and swim back.

He ducks his head underwater one last time before surfacing once he reaches the rock...

When he emerges, there's a man waiting for him. A man larger than any Odysseus has ever seen before, with a mane and beard of pure white hair and eyes the color of gold. He sits upon the boulder as if it were his throne, smiling with mirth at Odysseus and inviting him to come and enjoy the sight of the beautiful sky together.

Odysseus is instantly wary and tries to retreat, only for his back to come flush with a broad chest. An equally large man with black silken tresses and sparkling blue eyes purrs at him and encourages the little king to stay and enjoy the water...

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

You know, it's funny, I've seen people in reactions to Epic: the Musical being like "why did Odysseus trust the siren who told him his only way home was through the lair of Scylla???", but none of them questioned that Zeus, Circe, or Tiresias was telling the truth about yeeting the baby, going to the underworld, and all that prophecy shit in general. Or, hell, even questioned if Aeolus was telling the truth about the bag of wind, if they'd have good wind if it was closed or bad if it was opened.

And like. The reason he trusts the siren is the same reason he trusts the rest of them: traditionally this was not shit that was lied about in epics, so it didn't make sense for there to be questioning unless it was a Plot Point that you didn't trust them. And really in a way it seems like if a god or immortal creature told you a thing, it was pretty much considered to be truth to the best of that being's knowledge. So in that context (which is also the context of the rest of the show btw), of course he'd trust what the siren said.

And frankly the siren was probably right. Either bc they COULD have gotten home fine if they hadn't killed one of Helios' cows, OR because the only way Odysseus could get home was by going through everything he went through. And either way... the siren's telling the truth.

[timeless-orchid]

Hello Hello good sir

Art by: Neal Illustrator

[loracarol]

We filled our ears with beeswax That's how we resist your song [...] Nah, you wouldn't have spared me I made a mistake like this, it almost cost my life I can't take more risks of not seeing my wife Cut off their tails! We're ending this now Throw their bodies back in the water Let them drown

....I don't really know enough about Epic to remember to catch the livestreams, but does anyone know if this was an intentional parallel?

[kurzler]

a quick psa to anyone recently getting into greek mythology and is a victim of tumblr and/or tiktok misconceptions:

-there is no shame in being introduced to mytholgy from something like percy jackson, epic the musical or anything like that, but keep in mind that actual myths are going to be VERY different from modern retellings

-the myth of medusa you probably know (her being a victim of poseidon and being cursed by athena) isn't 100% accurate to GREEK mythology (look up ovid)

-there is no version of persephone's abduction in which persephone willingly stays with hades, that's a tumblr invention (look up homeric hymn to demeter)

-as much as i would like it, no, cerberus' name does not mean "spot" (probably a misunderstanding from this wikipedia article)

-zeus isn't the only god who does terrible things to women, your fav male god probably has done the same

-on that note, your fav greek hero has probably done some heinous shit as well

-gods are more complicated than simply being "god of [insert thing]", many titles overlap between gods and some may even change depending on where they were worshipped

-also, apollo and artemis being the gods of the sun and the moon isn't 100% accurate, their main aspects as deities originally were music and the hunt

-titans and gods aren't two wholly different concepts, titan is just the word used to decribe the generation of gods before the olympians

-hector isn't the villain some people make him out to be

-hephaestus WAS married to aphrodite. they divorced. yes, divorce was a thing in ancient greece. hephaestus' wife is aglaia

-ancient greek society didn't have the same concepts of sexuality that we have now, it's incorrect to describe virgin goddesses like artemis and athena as lesbians, BUT it's also not wholly accurate to describe them as aromantic/asexual, it's more complex than that

-you can never fully understand certain myths if you don't understand the societal context in which they were told

-myths have lots and lots of retellings, there isn't one singular "canon", but we can try to distinguish between older and newer versions and bewteen greek and roman versions

-most of what you know about sparta is probably incorrect

-reading/waching retellings is not a substitute to reading the original myths, read the iliad! read the odyssey! i know they may seem intimidating, but they're much more entertaining than you may think

greek mythology is so complex and interesting, don't go into it with preconcieved notions! try to be open to learn!

[two-bees-poetry]

twenty years across the sea

[mushyooms]

buying him time

[petorahs]

would you still love me again?

[psychicbluebirdmiracle]

Was curious how far Ithaca was from troy today while listening to epic the musical and rereading the illiad and I found this map

I think odysseus would have been better just to walk😭

[fangirling-phoenix]

Can we please appreciate Odysseus being a silent stalker in the shadows, taking out suitors with his bow, not deigning to speak to them as he takes them out one by one

until some of them go "we have to strike him in the darkness too! we know the halls of this palace! the odds can be tilted!"

and Odysseus, built this palace with his very hands, has to step out of the shadows like "are you this fucking stupid"

[somepsychopomp]

@australet789 I fear you’re going to think I’m insane but I’m actually so happy this finally arrived 😭 after 3+ weeks of waiting, the king is home 🙏🏻

[kaiotisk]

father how i've longed to see you!

[kokii-omii]

Live Telemachus reaction

[dyleeart]

Obligatory redraw of Live Telemachus Reaction

[artbymeow]

Ares: BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

[blue-jester-art-blog]

I'm glad they're on the same page

This is my most popular post so you WILL have to deal with my plugging my comms sorry </3

l