#epic the reindeer

[the-stardom]

SINCE, we don't know anything about Epic just yet (except the fact he's prolly mute), this is my interpretation of Epic, the Reindeer

Please don't take this seriously (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

Also:

I've been saying this alot but, is cross kristoff in your frozen au?

He is!!!! I was actually planning on designing him next! I was super surprised when I saw you mention it the first time, because I hadn't expected someone would guess it, let alone be correct XD

But yes! Cross is Kristoff. He's a hunter in the woods instead of dealing with ice and mountains like Kristoff (cause NM doesn't have ice powers.)

Also Epic is Sven.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Looking at recent post and then at the news ''these are the 13 weirdest things found in sharks’ stomachs''

Well good to know that shark au jaune is white knight

Jaune: Damn, I'm so hungry I could eat a ...

Oscar: A what?

Jaune: ...

Oscar: Eat a what, Jaune?

[brionbroadway]

THATS OUR ICE QUEEN LETS FUCKING GOO

[velnica]

I wasn't gonna do another Starlight shoot but then I started playing dress-up doll and... yeah 😭 The unit is gonna perform at Mih Khetto!

[i-hear-a-sound]

can I be real. I’m Christian right. As a little kid I thought Santa Claus was meant to be Jesus bc I didn’t know he dies yet 💀

[c-rose2081]

Crystal Winter (Epic Winter Rewrite)

—

My Epic Winter rewrite would start much the same as the original special. A freshly 12-year-old Crystal and her parents are living harmoniously at the top of the world, playing ice hockey and shirking their responsibilities as rulers of the Kingdom of Ice.

However, what the ice King and Queen don’t know is that Crystal has been sneaking away from her kingdom to visit the Kingdom of Roses, where she’s spending time with a boy named Dauntless (one of Briar’s middle brothers, who’s 13). They met in the woods the winter before when she was exploring the below world in the form of a magical reindeer, and has been sneaking out to see him ever since.

When Jackie and Northwind shatter the ice mirror to make the Ice King cruel, a servant snitches about Crystal’s forbidden crush, as a child of ice is not meant to fraternize with any of the creatures below. Enraged by his daughters ‘betrayal’, the Ice King freezes his Queen before taking flight to the Kingdom of Roses. He catches his daughter and Prince Dauntless together, and in his rage he entraps the boy in a frozen statue. Crystal tries to reason with him, but it only makes him angrier as he casts the entire Kingdom in a wicked winter, freezing everyone and everything in enchanted ice.

Crystal is ordered to return home to take her place as Princess, but she refuses, shocked and horrified by her father’s cruelty. She transforms into a reindeer and escapes, only for the Ice King to swear that he will freeze more and more kingdom’s until she returns.

Young Crystal flees to Ever After, where she knows Dauntless’s sister is. He spoke highly of Briar, heir to the throne, and Crystal could only hope she had a way to help her. Briar is naturally horrified to learn her home and family are in danger and promises to help Crystal however she can. But the Ice King has eyes in the sky and storms the school, ordering his daughter home. She once again refuses. The King is once again enraged, transforming Daring into a horrible beast and attempting to turn the school to ice like he did the Kingom of Roses. Farrah is able to block the spell, only to be turned into a statue herself.

The Ice King leaves, an eternal winter in his wake now swirling about Ever After.

The adventure proceeds as usual, a young Princess learning from many older mentors how to handle herself in a world that’s much to large for her. Jackie and Northwind try to get the ice staff, putting the King to sleep in the process and giving the girls time to gather the roses to break the spell.

When they reach the Kingdom of Roses, Briar is heartbroken to find what has become of her home. It’s the last castle they visit and the final rose they need to grab (switching the order of getting the flowers). However, the ice has broken the spindle in the tower. Briar is unable to enter the castle, as she’s highly susceptible to the sleeping dust and remains outside while the others enter to find the rose. But Jackie and Northwind beat them to it, breaking the spindle even more and casting the crew into sleep where they’ll freeze. Briar is forced to go in to save her friends, struggling to repair the spindle and cut off the flow of dust. But she sticks her finger on the needle in the process, collapsing into an unbreakable curse.

When the others finally wake up again, they don’t have time to grapple with the horrible news as the weather is growing colder. Faybelle breaks and tells the others about her plan to steal the roses to get out of a debt, but gives them up, agreeing to stay with Briar instead to keep her warm so she doesn’t freeze. The others run off to the top of the world to stop Jackie and Northwind’s plans to get the ice staff. Crystal is able to succeed and break the spell with the knowhow she got along the way. The kingdoms are unfrozen and things return to normal.

However, they don’t return to celebration, but sadness as the Kingdom of Roses grieves their fallen heir. Crystal returns to Dauntless, who apologizes for his mistake and promises not to keep them a secret anymore. Briar is laid to sleep in the tower, properly prepared to remain that way for the next hundred years. But as each friend kisses her cheek goodbye (Faybelle being the last to leave), the fairy magic in her tears breaks the curse of the spell (a magic that wasn’t properly cast). The curse is broken and Briar wakes up, much to everyone’s delight and confusion.

There is a massive party in the Kingdom of Roses, where Dauntless and Crystal get to dance together, and Briar discreetly pulls Faybelle behind a curtain.

—

Thinking thoughts. Also just wanted to redesign Crystal cause I can ^^

[kartonkartonski]

ONE PIECE Pirate AU

What if OP world had real pirate vibe / What if our 1700s had people strikingly similar to OP characters + magic

DISCLAIMER i have the opposite of Same Face Syndrom + cant draw women lol yes the faces are real human ispired

LUFFY - Brazilian / Caribbean kid from a random ass poor village Hat, vest, pants, sandals - made more historically accurate (mmha)

ZORO - Japanese but raised abroad in Turkey or sth idk Hair - green hair dont exist lol Shirt, pants, boots - mmha Eyepatch - a piratey touch

NAMI - Swedish but adopted and raised in Spain or Italy or idk Clothes - mmha + made her more tomboyish Head cloth - piratey touch

USOPP - Italian mum + African father (unthinkable!) (european colonies in South Africa or sth) Clothes mmha The prankster he is, he carries fake prosthetic hook and peg leg and a fake swordsheath. I bet he has a fake parrot and an eyepatch he doesnt use. The gun is real and replaces slingshot

SANJI - French cook in the Mediterrenean Eyebrows - curly eyebrows dont exest stupid Hair - mmha Suit - mmha Cigs - replaced with a pipe Golden tooth - he got scurvy on that stranded island

CHOPPER - Canadian reindeer (caribou) General look - now he look like a real reindeer huh. No wonder why he was feared by the peeps Hat - early american settler-like Pants - mmha + piratey stripes

NICO - Russian originally associated with mafiozo Krokodil The dress is how i imagine her to dress like when working with Krokodil Hat, boots - mmha + more piratey Riding suit - she looked like cowboy in early OP so i gave her riding clothes

FRANKY - American, self-made clockwork cyborg who uses word "super" quite often (it was a thing in early 1700s!) Hair - Cyan hair dont exist idiot + made it cool and epic for 1700 standards Metal nose - screwed to skull Shirt - mmha Underwear - yes its underwear mmha Robo parts - clockwork coz no steam engines back then + wooden doll-looking Peg leg - hides a gun

BROOK - Austrian musician, his crew died hit by a plague Hat - mmha Afro - no afro in 1600-1700 sorry Justacorps - 1600s-ish coz he old af Yohoho

JIMBEE - Now a real FISHman, a real WHALESHARK and a real INDIAN (Oda said hes indian) yup thats about that FOLLOW FOR MORE

[veryace-ficrecs]

Hi I was wondering if you knew any fics about where Luffy successfully rescues ace from Impel Down.

Of course! I did my best to find fics where it was Luffy who saved Ace, but I've also included some where someone else helped!

Ace Rescued From Impel Down Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :) Enjoy!

A Fair Trade by Rijus_Hope - Not Rated

Luffy and his crew hear about Ace's execution before it reaches the papers, before they're split up at Sabaody Archipelago. His crew is ready for Luffy to boldly declare that they were going to break his brother out of prison, but Luffy is as unpredictable as ever, and presents an entirely different plan: To offer himself, the son of the Revolutionary Dragon, as a prisoner in Ace's place.

It was cold without you by my side by Dezace - Rated T

Sabo just got back from a mission. He overhears news concerning the Second Division Commander of the Whitebeard pirates and the supernova Strawhat Luffy. Strawhat was reported to be in Impel Down, trying to break out Fire Fist Ace. What the World Government didn't know was that this caused a domino effect of epic proportions. Sabo would rather kill himself than not do anything. His brothers were counting on him.

The will to live is harder to keep than a will to die by Dezace - Rated T

Ace was chained down in Impel Down, waiting for his execution and death, knowing that nothing can change that. When Ace hears the news that Luffy was here and there for him, Ace couldn't sit still. Not anymore. Or: Ace decided that being the damsel in distress sucks and that if you wanted something done right, do it yourself.

Of Seas and Freedom by OCEANSHELLS - Rated T

Law and Luffy break Ace out of Impel Down during a date and make out in the elevator, not exactly in that order.

Fair Enough by WolfyTheWolfz - Rated T

Luffy finds out about Ace's execution, and instead of rushing straight towards Impel Down, he enlists the help of Boa Hancock, to help trade himself for his brother but to also get a message out to his crew.

see you again by yeonjunenby - Rated T

While awaiting his execution, Ace silently wishes that he could have seen his brothers Luffy and Sabo one more time. His wish comes true, except for some reason this Sabo and Luffy appear to be from three years in the future, and they seem hellbent on breaking him out of prison.

Of course I'd come for you by Lerya - Rated T

Making a beeline to the end of the hallway, Luffy didn't care about anything else but getting to his big brother.

Garp taught Luffy how to be a marine and uses that knowledge to break into a government facility by Dezace - Rated T

Garp wanted Luffy and Ace to be Marines, so he taught them what a good marine should know and how to do it. While Ace and Luffy obviously didn't become marines, that knowledge was, literally, pounded into their heads. With Ace captured and set for execution, Luffy uses that knowledge to bust his brother out of prison. Or: Why Garp shouldn't have taught an upcoming rookie what Marine codes meant because all it led to was the chaos a pirate could use it for.

Not Once, But Twice In A Lifetime by BonneyJewelry - Rated G

On the way to Wano, Luffy is forced to rest by his frantic reindeer doctor. When he snaps his eyes open again, he is not where he expects to be. Is that Aces Vivre Card?

Never Let Go by Applepie - Rated G

Sabo never managed to escape from his father after he gave himself up for Ace and Luffy’s sake. But ten years pretending to be the Noble his father expects him to be is nothing when it lets him save his brother in the end. (In which Ace gets a visitor in Impel Down, and it’s the last person he expects.)

The Rescue Party by UntoldDepths - Rated M

In which the Straw Hat pirate crew finds out about Ace's execution earlier than canon and immediately launches a rescue mission.

[sidekick-hero]

let the impulse to love and the instinct to kill entangle to one

(steddie | wc: 918 | teen | written for @steddiemas and @steddieholidaydrabbles (prompt: came back wrong) | tags: fluff, first kiss, kas!eddie

"I'm not staring at you. I'm staring at your ugly ass sweater. What is that thing?" Steve asks, aiming to sound appalled but failing miserably. There is too much affection in his voice, laughter echoing in every word.

He thinks he can't be blamed, though, because Eddie looks ridiculous in that big green and red sweater with Rudolph the Reindeer on it, pulling an empty flying sleigh. Especially with the gray tinted skin and the sharp teeth and the fucking wings that spilled out of the cuts in the back of the sweater.

"Where's Santa, huh? Did you eat him?" Steve laughs and Eddie chirps again, this time clearly offended. He pulls away from where he was leaning against Steve, climbs off the bed and retreats to the farthest wall. Standing there in a defensive pose with his arms crossed over his chest, Eddie hangs his head and hunches his shoulders, making himself small. His long, black curls hide most of his face, but Steve can still see the onyx color of his eyes gleaming in the dim light of his bedside lamp.

The sight makes his heart ache in his chest.

Getting up from where he's been sitting cross-legged on his bed, Steve pads over to him, determined to fix whatever he's done to make Eddie look like this. But when he ducks his head to catch Eddie's eyes, all he gets is an irritated growl as Eddie turns his head away from Steve's searching gaze. Behind him, his tail flicks back and forth angrily.

One thing he didn't know about Eddie before, but learned pretty quickly, is how damn stubborn he can be. Good thing Steve is not one to give up easily, having spent nearly four years babysitting teenagers.

His hand slowly reaches out, making his intentions clear until it rests on Eddie's forearm. He learned his lesson when Eddie first started coming to his room late at night, still has the scars to remind him of that lesson. He knows that Eddie didn't mean to hurt him. Steve just startled him the first time he reached out to touch him without warning, eager in his excitement to see Eddie alive.

Things have changed since then. A lot.

Eddie is less cagey, no longer afraid of Steve. He tolerates his touch now, even seeks it out. But he still doesn't take well to surprises. Steve wonders what happened to him all those months he was lost in the Upside Down and thinks maybe it's better he doesn't know. He's not sure he wouldn't do something rash and epically stupid if he did.

"Sorry, Eds, I know you don't eat people. It was a dumb joke, I didn't mean anything by it." His thumb smooths over the tense muscles he can feel under the soft material of the sweater. It looks like it should be scratchy, offending more senses than just his eyes, but it isn't.

Just like Eddie looks scary, but isn't.

It seems to be the right thing to say, because the onyx of his eyes takes on a warmer shade, like very dark chocolate or the first precious coffee of the morning. Eddie chirps again and shakes his head.

"No, I mean it, Eddie. I don't think you're a monster. I know you wouldn't hurt anyone, it was a really stupid joke. I guess I'm still an asshole sometimes and -"

Eddie interrupts his ramblings by bumping his head against Steve's before nuzzling close to his neck, chirping and purring. He still can't talk, even though Steve hasn't given up hope that he will, but that doesn't mean he can't communicate.

"Okay, okay, no bad self-talk. Got it, jeez. You're worse than Robin, I swear," Steve laughs as he runs his hands through Eddie's soft curls. Secretly, he doesn't mind letting their bodies do much of the talking. Words have never been his strong suit, but this? He's damn good at this.

"But honestly, what's with the ugly ass sweater, huh?" He can't help but ask again as he practically holds Eddie in his arms. He's colder to the touch than a normal human, but Steve doesn't mind. He always runs a little hotter than most, so it balances out perfectly.

Eddie pulls back a little so he can look at Steve and points to Steve's chest with his claw.

"Me? What do I have to do with this? It's not one of mine, is it?"

Eddie shakes his head and his claw taps Steve's chest again, then points at himself and the ugly sweater.

"I'm sorry, Eds, I don't -"

The claw moves from his chest to his face and Steve holds still, his eyes crossing as it follows the deadly weapon. Eddie's finger touches his mouth, effectively shushing him, before the tip of the claw slips between his lips and pulls ever so gently at the right corner of Steve's mouth, forcing a crooked smile.

"Sssseve" Eddie hisses, the first words he's spoken since he returned not quite the same as before, and it clicks.

"You were trying to make me laugh?"

Eddie beams at him. "Ssseve," he says again, chirping with delight and Steve can't help but kiss him. Eddie freezes for a second under his mouth before kissing him back urgently as more sounds pour out of him between kisses, chirping and purring against Steve's mouth.

So what if Eddie came back a bit wrong? He came back to them. To Steve.

In his book, that's worth more than normal anyway.

[deliciousangelfestival]

I have a cute one for you! Ok so Bucky’s fiancée (the reader) gives Bucky an early Christmas present when he comes home from a mission and the present is the reader’s way of telling Bucky that she’s pregnant with hers and Bucky’s first child

Take your time and have an amazing day/night!🩵

Thank you for the fluff request. I love it 😭💖💖💖. I hope you like it.🥰🎄🎄🎄🎁🎁🎁

****************

Unexpected Present, Unfolding Future

Character: Bucky x fiancee!Reader

Main Masterlist || buy me Ko-fi 🥹💓

Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 

The wind howled like a banshee outside, whipping snowflakes against Bucky's face as he trudged up the porch steps. His shoulders hunched, mirroring the weight of the world on his weary soul. All he craved was a hot meal, a warm bed, and the sweet oblivion of sleep.

As he fumbled with his keys, the door swung open, revealing Y/N in a festive apron, a mischievous grin splitting her face. Like a siren song, the aroma of cinnamon and gingerbread cookies lured him inside.

"Merry Christmas, my hero!" she chimed, holding out a small, suspiciously lopsided box. "Early Christmas gift for the soldier who finally decided to grace us with his presence."

Bucky raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lips twitching. "Early Christmas, huh? Didn't know the holiday came early for soldiers who can't tell a gingerbread man from a landmine."

Y/N gasped, mocking, clutching her pearls. "How dare you insult my culinary prowess! These cookies are works of art, even if they do resemble abstract reindeer."

Bucky chuckled, his exhaustion momentarily forgotten. He took the box, his fingers tracing the uneven wrapping job. Inside, nestled on a bed of red tissue paper, lay a pair of baby shoes knitted in the brightest blue yarn he'd ever seen. They looked like they were crafted by a squirrel with a crochet addiction.

Silence descended, broken only by the crackling fire. Then, Bucky's face broke into a grin that could rival the sun. He swept Y/N up in his arms, twirling her around until they were both dizzy and laughing.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" he teased, his voice filled with disbelief and pure joy.

Y/N grinned, her eyes sparkling like fairy lights. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Maybe I just really like tiny shoes."

Bucky stared at her, a slow smile spreading across his face. He felt a warmth bloom in his chest, a feeling unlike anything he'd ever known. He was going to be a father. A wave of protectiveness washed over him, so fierce and new it took his breath away.

He held Y/N close, his metal arm gently cradling her growing belly. The warmth of the fireplace, the aroma of questionable cookies, the sound of her laughter – it all felt like coming home.

"This is the best Christmas present I could ever ask for," Bucky whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "Even if the shoes look like a toddler yeti made them."

Y/N swatted him playfully. "Hey! I put a lot of effort into those abominations. And besides, who says our child can't have a unique fashion sense?"

Bucky chuckled, a true, heartfelt laugh that echoed through the room. "Of course, my love. If they want to wear mismatched socks and walk around like a tiny yeti, who am I to argue?"

The rest of the evening was a whirlwind of laughter, carols, and questionable hot cocoa that tasted suspiciously like gingerbread and burnt sugar. Bucky held the tiny baby shoes in his palm, staring at them with a reverence he didn't know he possessed.

He imagined the little feet that would fill them, the first steps, the first words. He imagined a future filled with bedtime stories, epic pillow fights, and late-night talks about everything and nothing.

As they drifted off to sleep that night, nestled together under a mountain of mismatched blankets, Bucky knew this was only the beginning of their greatest adventure.

The world outside might be cold and chaotic, but inside their little apartment, it was warm, safe, and with the promise of a future filled with love, laughter, and the occasional sartorial disaster.

As Bucky held Y/N close and felt the tiny life growing within her, he knew he would spend the rest of his life protecting them with all his heart and a healthy dose of humor. After all, a little laughter goes a long way, significantly when raising a future child together.

Author Note : Hey everyone! 🌟 Your input means the world to me.

If you've got any cool ideas or prompts, whether for this fluff series or any other series, feel free to share them with me!

Just drop them in my ASK/SEND REQUEST box.

Can't wait to hear your awesome suggestions! 🚀💬

[cakesmelons]

Cross isn't taking this well

Lazy doodle(lazier than my other lazy doodles) they think Epic is part reindeer monster instead of an actual reindeer bc I'm not letting of the mute reindeer(he's choking in my grip, it's fine dw)

[caffiend-queen]

Oh, I could just EAT YOU UP! A Holidays in Hel Loki-Avengers tale.

I was re-reading this the other day when I should have been getting my new book "Captivated" finished. I'd forgotten how much fun it was writing the Holidays in Hel series... If you're in the mood for some creepy, sexy (not at once, thank god) Loki Halloween tale, look no further.

In which Loki and Mina realize that no holiday is safe from the epic round of truly bad luck that the Avengers have when celebrating the most innocent of times...

***

“You’re expecting me to do what?”

Loki was lounging - elegantly, of course - against a pillar in the huge common room where the Avengers tended to gather when not on missions or getting patched up in the Medbay. He was sartorial perfection in a bespoke Tom Ford suit in onyx. Mina paused from shoveling the candy into one of the massive bowls to smile at him, a little misty with appreciation over his sheer beauty. Her- not her boyfriend, the God of Mischief and Lies could never be called something so ridiculous, her beau? Her partner? Her… Apparently, Loki had been speaking to her because he’d paused, looking at her peevishly.

“Sorry, Loki. I was admiring how unreasonably beautiful you are in that suit, but yeah... just pass out some candy to the trick or treaters? For the media coverage? To make you look... uh... caring?”

Mina said the right thing, of course. The fine lines around his glittering emerald eyes faded away. “Of course you were, darling. This is understandable. I shall repeat myself. You cannot possibly…” He picked up a violently colored package luridly branded as “Unicorn Poop!” pinched between his thumb and forefinger, the way one might hold a dirty diaper. “...Expect me to touch these vile things, much less give them to children?” Loki’s sneer was quite credible, but Mina knew he was posturing. He liked children, though he would rather cut his hair than admit it. He had been shockingly kind to Amelia, Mina’s niece, last New Year’s when her skeevy brother and his wife dumped their daughter in her’s and Loki’s laps and hoofed it to the airport for a Caribbean vacation. 

“The candy is hideous,” she admitted, “but this is the crap kids love now, everything is ‘unicorn,’ or ‘poop.’ Or the blissful combination of both.” Loki tossed the lurid sweet back into the pile in the bowl. “Tony got a tractor-trailer full of the stuff from this candymaker he’s doing business with. The man is some sort of real-life Willy Wonka.” 

“Hmm,” Loki could even make a humming noise sound deeply disapproving. “Is that the bizarre little gentleman I’ve seen Tony squiring around the tower?"

As if he knew he’d been called, Stark strolled into the room, skirting the cases upon cases of candy piled high around the room. “I gotta admit, Horo, this is enough candy to trick or treat the entire state’s population of kids into a sugar coma.”

The man with him laughed, more of a high-pitched giggle that was startling coming from someone as hugely wide and tall as he was. In fact, his height and weight ended up forming a perfect shape of a square. He was dressed in a top hat and a bright candy-colored suit, with tufts of purplish hair sticking out at angles from his top hat.

“Remember when you watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with me?” Mina murmured to Loki.

“Indeed,” he said, folding his arms, “this creature has managed to take all the most unpleasant elements of Sir Wonka and made them even more troubling.”

“Reindeer Games!” shouted Tony, “Come and meet another magician!”

Mina watched as Loki’s entire form stiffened. “Did he just refer to me as a… a magician?” Loki spat. 

“Uh, I think Tony’s already a vodka bottle in for the festivities,” she soothed. “Just ignore him.”

Nonetheless, she pasted on a smile as Tony led the bizarre creature over. Bypassing his host, the man whipped off his top hat, sweeping it low into a courtly bow. “Horatio J. LaDreamy at your service!”

They spent some time sorting through the cases of candy, Horatio holding up each one and exclaiming over its merits like parents with a baby picture. Mina attempted to go through the plan of having Horatio himself pass out the first round of candy for the media coverage. “It’s a really nice thing, if you don’t mind, Mr. ah… Mr. LaDreamy. And the kids will be so excited to meet you.”

“You’re just so scrumptious,” Horatio said, his voice hoarser now, perspiration dotting his upper lip. Leaning in, he held onto Mina’s hand, “I could just eat. You. Up.”

Her revulsion at this freak in his pink-striped shirt and his unfocused, glittering eyes was too great to hide, but his grin only widened as she yanked her hand away. “I have to…” Horatio was still staring at her greedily, and Mina backed away, “...go over… here.” 

She speed-walked over to where Loki stood with a look of profound boredom and a very nice glass of Lafite Rothschild 1999. Taking the glass from him, she downed it in one gulp. The tall, beautiful god looked down at her with the same shock and disgust normal people would reserve for murder, or terrible train wrecks. 

“You just violated that Lafite,” Loki said with deep disgust, “you just spat on it and threw it into the gutter of your untrained palate.”

“Don’t care,” Mina managed, taking the last bit of liquid in the glass, “I needed it. That man is a freak. A total weirdo.” He merely gave her his long-suffering, “Yes, I know this already” expression. “He just told me,” she said, still looking over Loki’s expensively suited shoulder at Horatio, who was now plying an unamused Natasha with an awkward-looking magic trick involving a deck of cards and a very long scarf he kept pulling from his sleeve, giggling with excitement. “He grabbed my hand and said the weirdest thing, he said, “I could just eat you up.” Loki’s eyes narrowed, and she hastened to clarify, “He wasn’t hitting on me, it was creepier. Like he really was hungry.”

Loki thoughtfully eyed the man, who’d somehow gotten tangled up in the scarf he’d been using for his ‘magic trick.’ “Some of the vilest monsters I have battled were quite benign in appearance. I shall examine this creature more closely.”

But really, what happened next was no one’s fault.

***

“Three cheers for… uh...  the… Candy Guy!” Tony was deep in his cups and Mina was just happy he was still standing, thanks to an occasional nudge from Pepper behind him.

Horatio didn’t seem to mind, smiling benignly down on the happy Stark Tower employees, most of them waist-deep in Unicorn Poop.

“Thank you, Tony, my dear friend!” He spread out his giant arms to the crowd, “And to all of you, thank you for helping me bring joy to the children! They don’t want boring old chocolate bars anymore! They want bright, sparkly candy that will make their mouths tingle and their tummies tap dance with happiness! To be honest, friends, I could not do it without you.”

The crowd chuckled, smiling up at Horatio while slipping fistfuls of candy into backpacks, purses, and bulging pockets.

“No!” Horatio said earnestly. “I really couldn’t! The sweetest and kindest among you will guarantee that the next year’s production of the Unicorn Poop candy line will be bigger and better than ever! More than double this year’s output and keeping up to with demand. I just need one thing from you to make every child in the world hold a package of unicorn poop in their chubby little hands.” He looked directly at Mina and smiled, suddenly showing many, sharp teeth. “I just need you.”

There was a violent pink explosion, cotton candy shooting in all directions and sending a spray of crystalized sugar into the eyes and lungs of everyone in the huge room, coughing and wheezing until everyone could catch their breath.

“Where,” snarled Loki in his most severe, stentorian tone, “is MINA?”

“Wh- I do not see Jane!” protested Thor.

Natasha circled the room rapidly. “Bruce is missing!”

Tony suddenly seemed to sober up. “Hey, has anyone seen Pepper?”

***

“Wh- where the hell are we?” Jane gasped, hanging on to a sagging Shanice from Accounting, whose heaving chest showed she hadn’t weathered the abduction well.

Mina, leaning against a candy-striped pillar for balance, pulled away as she realized the pillar was clinging to her hand like the creepiest possible taffy, as if it was alive, wrapping tendrils of its taffy-esque substance up her arm. “Yuck!” she whined, trying to peel the substance off her new black blouse. “If I had to guess, based on the shittiest series of holidays ever over this last year, that that psycho candymaker from hell has somehow kidnapped us and we’re in his dungeon… factory… purgatory… of candy.”

“Right you are, sweet Mina!” Horatio happily approached the group, not seeming to notice how everyone cringed away from him. “You are all here as my very special guests! As the sweetest, nicest people I’ve met this year, you’ve won the Golden Pass to tour my candy kingdom!”

“A Golden Pass?” Mina tried not to laugh. The situation was too serious, but she couldn’t help herself. Horatio was wearing a top hat that looked suspiciously like the one Willy Wonka wore in the movie. “You mean a Golden Ticket?”

“No,” he answered cheerfully, sampling a flower that appeared to be made of lime green nougat, “a Golden Pass is even better! It’s a super-duper big honor!”

Looking around, Mina tried to find an exit. Please god, she thought, don’t let the Oompa-Loompa ripoffs come out singing and dancing!

Because it was an Avenger’s Holiday From Hel, it was worse.

“Are those…unicorns?” gasped Sun Lee, the sweetest girl in HR, who was always making cookies and bringing them to work.

Everyone turned together and sure enough, a herd of alarmingly cheerful candy-colored unicorns came trotting over to them, making some sort of unicorn-type greeting. Not neighing, exactly. More like a mean-spirited giggle, Mina thought dourly.

“Here are my babies!” Horatio held his arms out, greeting one unicorn after another with a kiss on the lips. 

Mina heard a faint “Ewwww…” behind her, it might have come from Maurice in Promotions and Marketing, who was edging away from a unicorn insisting on nuzzling into his neck with the same enthusiasm of a date on Prom Night. 

“Uh, they’re really… I didn’t know unicorns actually existed, though based on this past year you’d think I’d be more open-minded,” Mina said, edging away from the cotton-candy pink horn of the equine interloper trying to snuggle up under her arm.

Horatio beamed at her, oozing charm and a weird kind of faux innocence as he nudged another unicorn - this one a swirl of lavender and baby blue - at Mina, bookending her with mystical creatures. “Come, darlings, I’ll take you on a tour of Horatio LaDreamy’s candy factory!”

Mina could see Darcie gearing up to give him the Stern Talking To, and caught her eye, shaking her head. She’d been gripping her emerald pendant like it was Loki’s perfect cock since they’d popped in to this candy-caned striped hellscape. He’d find them and save the day, like always. She just needed to get them all to play along until he showed up. 

And when he did? She was going to suck his dick like she was mad at it.

***

“Here we are,” Loki raged, “in the - as Tony has repeatedly and tiresomely claimed - the most secure building on the planet, and yet once again, my Mina has been abducted. Again!” He was running his hands through his perfect ebony hair, and it unreasonably made it even more full and flowing over his expensively suited shoulders.

“Thanks, Severus Snape, but remember that my fiancée and another twenty Stark employees also got snatched?” Tony was furious and embarrassed, which served to make him even more annoying. He was attempting to drum some discordant rhythm on the granite bar top with spoons, and it was so unbearable that the even-tempered Steve was the one to reach over and snatch the silverware from his jangly hands.

“Everyone calm down!” Steve was at his most stern and Captain-ish and Loki watched cynically as the rest of the - as Mina called them - the Spandex Squad immediately obeyed. His handsome, stern gaze turned to Tony. “Where did you meet Horatio? How is it that no one knows the location of his factory? Everyone needs employees. Can we track him through the IRS? How did he get the kind of tech that could move that many people at once? Loki, is this magic?”

Loki was pacing around the last location of the lunatic candymaker as he disappeared from Stark Tower with his Mina. “I do not recognize the energy signature, but it feels more as seidr than technology. But all seidr… it leaves a trace. I cannot find one here.” 

Thor was absently swinging Mjolnir, nearly braining one of the waitstaff trying to clear up the candy carnage. He was desperate to smite someone- anyone at this point. Loki glared at his brother after another close pass from the hammer. “Brother, do contact Heimdal and ask for his assistance.” 

“I shall do this immediately!” Thor roared happily, striding masterfully to the elevators.

“A good idea,” approved Natasha.

Loki sneered elegantly. “I contacted Heimdal the moment they all disappeared. He knows nothing. But it will keep my idiot brother occupied while we work.”

Rubbing her forehead, she allowed herself to look vulnerable, just for a moment. “Then how are we going to find them in time?” Looking at him with troubled blue eyes, she said, “I feel like time is ticking down to something. Do you feel it?”

Looking out the window as the sun headed to the horizon, the afternoon light sending them all into sharp focus, Loki fought down an unfamiliar sense of panic. “If one looks to most of the pagan legends, sunsets are often associated with human sacrifice.”

“You don’t-” the blood drained from Natasha’s pale complexion, leaving her sheet-white. She thought of Bruce, his gentle smile and his kind way with those smaller and weaker than himself. “We have to get them out of there.”

“I assure you, my ocharovatel'nyy ubiytsa,” he said grimly, “I am quite in agreement.”

***

Every holiday, Mina thought as the unicorn prodded her in the back with his horn, every goddamned holiday. Would it really be too much to ask to get Halloween off from the Avenger’s holiday fuckups? My favorite holiday? Her self-pitying thoughts were interrupted as Horatio waved grandly and the massive pink and lavender doors before them began to slowly open.

“You may ask,” he puffed, “how my candy is so sweet? So perfectly formed and flavored? How it can be so addicting?” He beamed at the sullen group behind him. “Meet my secret weapon!”

Mina gulped and she heard a shrill scream from Carla from Banqueting and Events as she passed out. It was another unicorn. A gigantic-ass, monstrous unicorn whose horned head nearly brushed the top of a room the size of an airport hangar. She was violent splashes of aqua, purple, and fuchsia. But her eyes were the blazing red of hell and when she opened her big, horsey mouth, she roared, a thunderous strike that hit the group like a fist, making everyone cringe and cover their ears. There was steam rising from the floor, which was liberally splashed with red and dotted with… bits of something horrible. And popping rapidly out from under her striped tail, were- Mina squinted. “Oh, my god,” she groaned, “is that unicorn poop?”

“An A+ for the pretty lady in the front row!” Horatio said happily, “Yes, this is my sweet angel and the producer of the entire Unicorn Poop line! Glow in the Dark Unicorn Poop, Candy Corn Unicorn Poop, Peppermint Striped Unicorn Poop, and Fudgy Center Unicorn Poop, though that last one isn’t selling the way I thought it would.” His mildly puzzled expression cleared as another giant pile of candy flew from Big Mama Unicorn to be separated and packaged by some listless robots in the bright candy wrappers. “Anyway!” he continued, “So my beloved is such a good girl, producing pile after pile of delicious treats, day after day, 24/7. But a girl’s gotta eat, right?”

“What…” Jane’s expression told Mina she’d already put two and two together, “what do you feed her?”

Horatio’s eyes glowed, “Why, only the sweetest and kindest folks ever! After spending the week at Stark Tower and getting to know everyone, I knew I was picking the sweetest, nicest people there! And it’s perfect timing,” his giggle was alarmingly high-pitched, “because my girl is hungry.”

Big Mama Unicorn let out a terrifying bellow, and all the smaller unicorn guards nickered in agreement as the humans huddled closer together.

Loki was still pacing the spot where that candy-coated monstrosity had disappeared, taking his Mina and so many others with him. He had some hopes that as one of the captives, Bruce, at least, might still have the capacity to shift into his larger, angrier form. But he could feel the energy behind the seidr the top-hatted lunatic had used to steal Mina and the others. It was demonic. Straightening his tie, he turned to the others. “I shall return.”

“Wha- hey!” Tony turned to the others. “He shall return? What the hell did Mr. Wizard just say? Where is he going?”

Such was the haughtier and gravitas of Loki, Prince of Asgard and Rightful King of Jotunheim that not a demon dared approach him, the hounds of Hel whined nervously and hid under the furniture as he passed, still sleek and perfect in his ebony suit.

“Oh, it’s you.” The woman, clad in an equally dark suit and a sullen expression was lounging on an ostentatious throne, made of the bones of thousands of different creatures.

“Is that any way to greet your dear, dear father?” Loki plucked a bit of something off his impeccable sleeve, flicking the offending bit away in a flash. 

If her black eyes had rolled any further back, they’d be wedged against her brain stem. “Let’s dispense with the pleasantries, Loki. What do you want?”

“A bit of conversation, darling.” Hitching his trousers, Loki sat gracefully on a chair made of human bones and sinew. “We’ve a bit of an issue at the Avenger’s Tower with abductions.”

She shrugged, idly poking at one of the cringing shades with the toe of her sharpened steel boot. “And this concerns me how?”

“Hela.”

The one word was spoken in a tone so low that the granite foundations of the Queen of Hel’s throne shifted slightly.

Leaning forward, Loki’s eyes flashed a searing green-gold. “Do not feign innocence with me. That vile candymaker could not have managed this level of power as a mere mortal. What was your bargain?”

Hela sniffed, tossing her long black hair over one shoulder in a flounce clearly inherited from her sire. “Oh. That irritating little man was constantly bleating about his unicorns and how they got… what was the word? Oh, ‘hangry,’ and he needed the power to move large groups of people to the factory to feed them, and-”

“What did you say?” Loki shot out of his chair, face even paler, “Feed mortals to... his unicorns?” 

Hela shrugged, “His tiresome obsession with those silly creatures… though the monstrous procreator is quite ferocious. She would be an excellent addition to my Helhounds.” She chuckled heartlessly. “Perhaps I shall take her, along with his pathetic soul when it is due.”

In an instant, her furious sire was leaning over her, so close that her throne tipped back. “If a single hair is disturbed upon my Mina’s head, I shall tie you to the hack of one of your beloved Helhounds, and create a seidr that will force him to run through your pits of flaming tar and leave you upside down beneath the surface of one of them. For your continued good health, I do hope no harm comes to those abducted from the Tower.”

For once, his daughter didn’t have a scathing retort.

***

It was hard to come up with a plan, what with all the screaming, Mina thought, dazed and jostling to keep her co-workers away from that giant fucking unicorn from Hel. I mean, it really does look like Loki’s daughter spawned it, she thought a little spitefully. 

She stilled for a moment, ignoring the prodding from the unicorn’s pointy horn wedging just under her right shoulder and shoving hard enough to leave a crater in her back. “That’s it!” Mina gasped. Elbowing past her pink and blue guard, she shouted, “Hey, Horatio! You’re wrong! You think we’re the sweetest people in the building?” 

The candymaker was busy trying to shove Mario from Accounting closer to the gaping maw of Mama Unicorn. Horatio looked over his polka-dotted shoulder red-faced and petulant. “You just hold right there, little miss! It’ll be your turn in a minute!” 

“I’m not sweet!” Mina tried to pitch her voice higher than Mario’s screaming, but it was close. “I have a mouth like a sailor, you asshole! I really didn’t like Aama here-” she pulled over her startled co-worker in the Developmental Science Division, “because she’d always steal the good lab coats and I’d end up with one of the acid-stained ones. I ‘forgot’ to invite her to one of the employee lunches-”

“Hey! Really?” Aama said, looking deeply wounded.

“Sorry, Aama,” Mina said, patting her back absently. “Anyway, I am not sweet! Also, if you saw the kinky stuff Loki and I get into? I’m gonna give that lavender pony from Hel heartburn!”

“I knew you two were into some weird shit!” gloated Darcy.

“Oh, please!” Mina retorted, “You wrote the book- hell, you wrote an entire Wikipedia on kink!”

Her eyes widened pleadingly, and Darcy caught on. “Oh, yes I did! One guy, two guys… once there was a wheel of cheese in the room and a duck, and…”

Even Mario had stopped screaming to hear this.

“Also,” Darcy continued defiantly, “I - I shoplifted some peanut butter and cigarettes from the bodega down the street because I forgot my purse…” She’d come back the next day with a batch of cookies, an apology and the money, of course. Also, the son’s owner really liked her and had given her the peanut butter and the pack of extra-long menthols, but that didn’t help the story. “I’ve drugged Jane’s sandwich before! More than once!”

“You did?” Jane gasped, “You’re- why? Why did you do that?”

Her best friend sputtered a bit, she’d done it to force Jane to get some sleep after working in the lab for three days straight. “Uh… because I’m jealous of you and I’m… uh… stealing all your research! Yeah!”

Jane was bug-eyed with shock for a moment before she recognized Darcy’s wildly twitching eye was a wink and not a muscle tic brought on by sheer terror. “I don’t care, Darcy! Because… because… I’ve been selling it to HYDRA! So there! And I cheated on my taxes! Three times!”

“I stole my roommate's boyfriend!” chimed in Sun Lee, though they’d been broken up for over a year and her roommate didn’t even care, but… she had to top the HYDRA whopper and distract the crazy candymaker while everyone caught on. “And I pulled the last shopping cart in the queue away from an old man who was trying to put his oxygen tank in it!”

Even Mama Unicorn had stopped that endless bellowing, watching with a wrinkled muzzle as the weird confessions got wilder and more offensive as each of the desperate prisoners started chiming in.

“I stole my mother’s wedding ring!”

“I cheated my way through college!”

“My family disowned me after I burned my grandparent’s house down!”

“I- I- I ATE A BABY!”

They all turned - even Horatio and Mama Unicorn - to stare at Kevin from Ground Security, who was not a super inventive guy. “Too much?” he asked humbly, wringing his hands. “But anyway,” he continued, “I’m gonna give that lavender bitch food poisoning, so HAVE AT IT YOU CANNIBALISTIC FREAK!”

“There’s no reason to be rude,” Horatio said repressively, “and you’re upsetting my sweet mama here, her nerves are delicate!”

“We’re going to make you puke cotton candy for a week, you one-horned psycho!” Mina shouted above the others, “You are gonna suffer, lady! And- and- and-” She smiled evilly, “Mr. LaDreamy, your candy tastes like ass. And now we know why. Your Unicorn Poop really is complete and utter shit.”

“Shit! Your candy is shit!”

“Everyone’s laughing at you and your weird turquoise friend!”

“Your candy sucks!”

“Halloween’s going to be canceled if this crap gets out because Manhattan will be covered in kid vomit!”

“That’s ENOUGH!” screamed Horatio, his purple hair sticking out in tufts. “You’re trying to distract me from our sacred purpose here, putting a smile on EVERY CHILD’S FACE AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU-” He broke off, face almost as purple as his hair and wheezing.

And Pepper delivered the killing blow. “Mr. LaDreamy, I intend to file suit with the FDA regarding your use of hazardous materials and a deeply, deeply unsanitary workspace. I hope your mama… thing there has other talents because she will be paying for your fines into the next century. I am very vindictive,” she added with a dark smile, “and I love making little men like you twist on the hook like a gutted trout.”

Everyone stirred uneasily. This was essentially accurate.

There was an ominous, low rumbling and it seemed like the blood-soaked factory walls were closing in on them. Horatio chuckled, a mean little gurgle that sounded like a truly beastly child’s. “Hush, now. Since you’re not nice, sweet people at all, since you lied to me- Well, there’s only one thing to do.”

Mina stumbled slightly, was that rumbling getting louder? It felt like the pink and red striped factory floor was shifting under her feet.

“I’d planned on waiting until the new year to debut my latest line of sweets....” He smoothed down his ratted fringe of hair and put his top hat back on. “But it’s time, thanks to you-” he said spitefully at Mina, “to introduce my new brand, Devil’s Food Delights.”

There was a bellow. A howl. The combined sound of a million souls suffering and the sound rose and shook the rafters as something burst through the floor.

“Aw, goddamnit,” sighed Mina.

***

“Can’t this thing go any faster?” groaned Bucky, who was hovering over Loki’s shoulder in a truly provoking way, nudging him absently with his vibranium arm and making him yearn to send his own godly elbow into the Soldier’s face. The pleasant thought distracted Loki for a moment and the seidr shimmered ominously. 

“If you don’t take yourself to the back of the jet and stay there,” he snarled, “the seidr will collapse and we must begin again.” He studied the aggressively pink cotton candy tone of his spell. “Due north.” 

***

The Stark employees clutched at each other, trying to keep from toppling into the pit now spreading on the factory floor, an ominous red glow glaring out from the hole. The screaming started up again as a massive spider placed all eight of its horrible, clawed appendages on to the crumbled concrete and hefted its pulsating, plump black carapace out of the pit. All eight of its beady crimson eyes were focused on Mina, who found herself shoved in front of Dante from Armaments and Darcy, who’d started hurling packages of Unicorn Poop at the monstrous thing. This was, unfortunately, the thing that turned its attention to their little huddle and it began scampering over the ruined ground toward them.

Their rescue came - by cynical fate - from Mama Unicorn, who was not happy about her potential dinner being taken away. With another rafter-rattling roar, she hauled her huge pink and blue bulk from her corner, stomping toward Horatio’s latest creation, which reared back with a shrill, chittering sound. From the back of the spider came shooting smeared charcoal and fuchsia eggs. “They’re wrapped in licorice-flavored cotton candy!” Horatio screamed over the angry whining from the smaller unicorns. “With a surprise inside!” he cackled as one of the bundles writhed and broke open, a teal-colored arachnid pulling free from its spun sugar cocoon. 

A blast shook the factory as one of the outside walls exploded, various Avengers pouring through the dust to the rescue. Spinning two wickedly sharp blades, Loki turned in a circle, looking for Mina. He found her - of course - standing in front of a group of cowering office personnel and looking rather nauseated.

“Darling!” Loki was on her in an instant, cradling her face. “You’re not hurt? Whose blood is this?”

“Uh… I’m not sure, but I don’t think it’s mine.” It’s not that Mina was not extremely happy to see her princely suitor, but she could not take her eyes off the supernatural train wreck happening right in front of her. 

Steve was turning right, then left, trying to figure out who to throw his shield at. Wanda was rearing back, trying to pull away her scarlet pulse emanating from her hands, while repeating “Ew! Ew! Ew ew ew ew ewewewewe!” Bucky had Darcy slung over one broad shoulder and was pointing an extremely large gun at random angry unicorns.

Tony’s mask came up on his suit and his angry brown eyes scanned the melee. “Who should I shoot? I mean, what the hell…”

Really, it was a toss-up. Mama Unicorn and Big Ugly Scary Spider Thing were tearing at each other- oozing lime-green blood and chunks of both being tossed into the air during the battle. Horatio was screaming at them, “Stop it! You will get along, do you HEAR ME?” But it was clear those two were having none of that nonsense. 

Ducking a flying bit of Big Ugly Scary Spider Thing, Loki turned to find Mina gone. She was writhing like an infuriated eel, trying to escape the surprisingly strong grip of Horatio J. LaDreamy, infamous candymaker and a man currently Losing His Shit.

“This could have been so simple!” he howled, “Your sacrifice would have meant the happiness of children all over the world! But no…” Horatio hissed the word, gripping Mina’s neck tightly and putting something to her throat, something scary enough that she stiffened. His maddened orange eyes met Loki’s. “But there’s always a backup plan!” He was chuckling, but it sounded more like gargling with a mouthful of tar. “You know the significance of the setting sun, don’t you, you insufferable Asgardian?”

Mina corrected from habit, “Oh, Loki is actually both Jotunn and Asgardian.”

“Shut UP!” Horatio screamed into her ear, “I will have my candy empire and if I can’t feed you to Mama Unicorn I will still close the deal with my dark mistress with a sacrifice in her honor. Ah, ah!” He pushed the thing - which turned out to be the tip of the currently disemboweled Mama Unicorn’s horn harder into Mina’s neck. “You’ll stand back, Mr. Friggasson!”

Loki’s hands gripped his knife handles, knuckles white with fury. If that candy-striped lunatic stabbed Mina with that cursed unicorn horn it was over. He knew there was no seidr that could reverse the effects of such a weapon. But with a casual flick of his fingers to the right, he very carefully began circling the two. “You don’t need Mina. Not when you have a god to offer himself in exchange. Come, now. Take the horn away from her neck. I shall drop my knives and surrender to you.”

Oh, Horatio liked that idea, he could tell from the creature’s excitable little wiggle. Mina was silently shaking her head, but Loki’s gaze darted right and back again. She tilted her head, nodding. And to the backdrop of the dying screams of Mama Unicorn and Big Ugly Scary Spider Thing, the candymaker began to rage about the unfairness of life. The excellent quality of his candy. His visionary status. And how cruel it was that Loki’s hair was more luxuriant and silky than his. But the time he’d started on how boring Loki’s ebony suit was next to his magnificently colored ensemble, the irritable god had thrust forward with three fingers and a crisp command: “forsvinn!”

Mina ducked. Horatio stumbled backward and fell on his ass in a rapidly spreading pool of taffy in violent shades of red and yellow. The tipped cauldron rolled back and forth in the corner. “Do not touch it!” commanded Loki as the other Avengers stepped closer, “You will never get free.” Indeed, the candymaker was on his back, kicking and squalling like an overturned beetle as the taffy spread around him in a viscous flood. 

Loki straightened his tie and put an arm around Mina as she handed him the unicorn horn. “So the guys have rounded up all our co-workers and they’re ready to get out of this candy-coated hellhole. But what do we do about the baby spiders and the leftover unicorns and him?” She nodded at Horatio, who looked he might actually be dissolving into his own creation of corn syrup and evil.

Pressing a tender kiss to her temple, Loki smiled unpleasantly. “It shall all… be taken care of. Come along, darling. I shall bathe away that disgusting scent of unicorns and perspiration from you.”

The lit-up monolith of Stark Tower had just appeared in the quinjet’s windshield when Mina stiffened. “Oh, crap! What about all of the kids coming tonight to trick or treat? We can’t give them the unicorn shit.” 

Natasha was flying the aircraft, but she looked behind her with a raised brow. “Do you mean the Unicorn Poop candy?”

“No,” said Loki and Mina together, and she heaved a bit. “It’s actual shit, Natasha. Unicorn shit. Big Mama Unicorn was pooping it out. Piles and piles of-” Putting her hand over her mouth, Mina turned away.

***

“Here at Stark Industries,” Pepper said smoothly, to the reporters clustered around the first group of costumed toddlers, “we’ve been concerned about good nutrition and the amount of sugar the average child consumes every year. So we decided to set a new precedent this Halloween by giving out toys instead.”

Steve and Bucky were tearing open boxes of Avenger’s action figures, stuffies, promotional t-shirts, and more that had been hastily pulled from the merchandise warehouse. Darcy and Jane were happily handing them out to the stream of children. 

“Thank you so much,” recited a five-year-old fairy princess, she looked down at the Iron Man figure she’d been handed. “Could I have a Loki doll instead?”

Tony yanked the doll away from her. “Here’s a towel, kid. Keep moving.”

***

“Where are we?” Mina gasped as Loki pulled off her blindfold. They were on a platform in a massive tree in the middle of a field, dotted with the last of the season’s pumpkins and filled with fireflies, lighting the branches and crisp red and orange leaves with a surreal glow. The platform held a huge mattress with many plump pillows and silky throws and blankets. A low table ran alongside the bed, piled high with bottles of wine and tempting platters of meats and cheeses, fruit, fresh-baked rolls. “And no sugar,” she sighed gratefully. She felt her skin tingle as he ran his fingers down her side and gasped as she looked at the delicate lace and silk concoction he’d “poofed” on to her. It was long, with a high slit in the skirt and a shamelessly low neckline.

“Spin for me, darling.” Loki made a twirling motion with one long finger and enjoyed the sight of his Mina happily spinning in her new dress. It flared out around her ankles and the twinkling light of the fireflies shone through the sheer fabric over the taut line of her thigh, the softness of her luscious bottom. Oh, how he loved her pert behind.

When she spun around again, Mina found Loki reclining elegantly on the bed, sipping a glass of wine and holding one out for her. “Come, darling. The dance is about to begin.”

“What dance?” she asked, gathering up her long skirt to make the awkward crawl across the slippery expanse of the cushions to relax against his long, cool body. Loki nodded to the edges of the field and Mina gasped.

Women, clad in black, walked from the cover of the surrounding forest to meet in the center around the tree. A bonfire surged up, lighting their serene faces as they began their song, moving around each other in a complex web. 

“Um, are we allowed to be here?” Mina whispered, terribly excited but a little nervous. She knew what this was- Samhain. Which meant they were in Ireland, which meant this was one of the most secretive and powerful of the ancient pagan clans. The women dancing ignored them and their luxurious platform, but it was clear she and Loki had been given a nearly unheard-of opportunity.

“Shhhh…” he murmured, and she settled back. 

Following the complex braid of movement was so fascinating that it took Mina a bit to realize that there were new dancers in the circle- shadowy forms that danced in and out of the circle made by their living sisters. “Oh... “ she gasped. The living and the dead twined back and forth as their song grew louder, almost a chant and suddenly the fire was burning hotter or something because she felt like every part of her was wildly overheated. She needed something to cool her, and- “Thank you Loki,” Mina moaned happily as he pulled her to her knees, resting that bottom of hers that he’d praised so often on her heels. Kneeling behind her, he pressed his broad chest and a very promising, prominent bulge against the small of her back. The chill radiating from him just made her skin prickle more desperately. She needed him! Why won’t he help her? 

“Patience,” Loki soothed, “watch the ceremony, sweet one.”

Mina blinked hard. The swirl of color and sound vibrated through her skin and settled into the base of her spine, spreading through her and making her gasp, pushing back against his hard, cool chest. Dimly, she felt his cool fingers spread her thighs, circling lightly around her wet furrow, the rough pads of his fingertips sliding back and forth, back and forth in a lazy way that made her half-insane as he circled her entrance, dipped lightly inside and moved back to lightly bat her clitoris. Finally, finally, he lifted her, the tip of his cock slick and wet from her.

“Put your arms behind my neck,” he urged, giving her shoulder a quick, sharp bite, enough to startle her into obeying him. The position made her arch her back, breasts thrust out as she strained to watch the movement of the dancing circle. Still, the women below seemed to ignore them as they continued their delicate dance between this world and the next. The heavy weight of Loki’s cock sliding into her made her clench down, enjoying his groan as it slowed his movements through her. It burned and stung a bit, just as it always did when Loki fucked her, but Mina relished it, craved it as part of the feeling of this god deeply embedded inside her. But the feel of cool lips suckling her clitoris made her let out a startled screech.

“Easy, darling,” purred Loki, lounging gracefully before her, examining himself buried inside her with interest. “I so rarely get to enjoy this lovely view as I take you. So sweet.” His diabolical tongue tickled her again, then lightly nipped one of her swollen lips. “Such a perfect, dark treat. And displayed so perfectly.” From behind her, Loki’s hands began toying with her breasts, pinching her nipples and pulling gently as the Loki below returned to his efforts, suckling her wet center, tongue stroking and fluttering along his cock sliding in and out of her channel. 

The sheer outrageousness of it - the intensity of two Lokis toying with her was too much and Mina’s head flew back, hitting his shoulder as she came. 

Trying to focus as the Loki below doubled down with chilly lips and teeth while seizing her bottom and moving her faster on his clone’s cock, she watched the night sky split, silver light streaming through and coalescing into shapes and shades of the Otherworldly.

“I have missed the play of nug-a-nug…” whispered one.

“Fadoodling they are, and so nicely…” sighed another.

“That’s putting the devil into hell!” shouted one of the more substantial spirits, and they all laughed in agreement, drifting lightly around the three joined together so closely that even the spectres could not see where one began or the other ended. But all the circling souls shuddered and sighed as the Lokis and Mina came together, glowing brighter and holding form for one perfect moment before fading into whisps again.

When Mina came back to some general form of awareness, she was wrapped in a velvety soft blanket, held in Loki’s arms as the other Loki waved down to the witches, still casually nude.

“Thank you for feeding our sisters!” called up the High Priestess. “To have them back with us again… our circle is complete. Farewell then.” She gave a sly wink to Mina. “And perhaps we’ll be seeing you again next year.”

Loki chuckled behind her, squeezing her gently. “There are so many haunts to explore,” he whispered in her ear, “enough for a thousand All Hallow’s Eves.”

Kissing his chiseled jaw, she said with deep satisfaction, “And no more creepy man-eating unicorns.”

***

Horatio J. LaDreamy sat in the smoking ruins of his factory, Big Ugly Scary Spider Thing and Big Mama Unicorn had torn each other to pieces and the resulting scuttle of remaining spider offspring being devoured by the few surviving unicorns. The acrid scent of burnt sugar stung his nose along with the strawberries and cream scent of unicorn blood covering his candy-striped suit. 

“How could this happen?” Horatio said peevishly.

“Because, you vile little man, you deserved it.” The smooth, cultured tone made him freeze in horror, and measured footsteps circled from behind him. Hela was strolling through the wreckage, hands on leather-clad hips. “How did you manage such a catastrophic failure in such a short time?” she mused, kicking at a severed unicorn hoof. “I did expect you back in my realm sooner than later, but even for you, this is simply pitiful.” Her elegant nose wrinkled a bit as she eyed his quivering form.

“B- b- but my beautiful unicorns!” Horatio wailed, “And my Devil’s Food darling and Mama Unicorn eating each other instead of those silly people! Hela, oh Dark Mistress, please-”

“None of that, mortal. Come along now.”

Horatio J. LaDreamy was a creature designed to strike terror into the hearts of the unwary, and a monstrous wave of empathy for the innocents he’d victimized slammed into him like a tsunami as Hela’s elegant hand rose, then clenched into a fist, tearing his soul from his body - leaving a withered, desiccated husk that collapsed into a pile of pink and purple dust.

***

Darcy lay on her back, panting and staring at the ceiling. “Holy shit, Bucky,” she wheezed, “if I knew getting kidnapped would turn you on like that I’d have done it sooner! I think I had an out-of-body experience on that fifth orgasm…”

She turned her head to look at him, he had his metal hand resting on his chest, still heaving from exertion.

“You know you’re some kind of sex demon with that tongue of yours,” she teased.

Bucky gave her a smile. Just a little one, a slight curve of those full lips that for him was the equivalent of tearing off his shirt and strutting around the tower singing “I’m The Man.” Then his head lifted abruptly, looking sharply in one direction, then the other.

“What’s that?”

“What’s what?” hedged Darcy, trying to yank her undies up her thighs.

His blue eyes narrowed. “I heard something. Like a neighing sound- “ He was across the room before she could blink, ripping the closet door off its hinges. 

“YOU BROUGHT ONE OF THOSE ASSHOLES BACK HERE?”

A little mauve and aqua-speckled unicorn cowered behind a stack of winter sweaters, whinnying in fear as Bucky towered over it.

“Stop it, you’re scaring him!” Putting her arms around the petite creature’s neck, Darcy looked up at him, her big, big, brown eyes tearing up a little.

He looked between the unicorn and his girlfriend. “Darce- honey are you insane? Are you remembering what these little bastards were going to do to you? Why would you do this!”

Sniffling prettily, she hugged the unicorn tighter. “Maurice didn’t do it! It was the big ones herding us to Mama Unicorn, he was-”

“You NAMED it?” he paced back and forth, pulling at his hair and absently wishing he hadn’t cut it so short. “We can’t keep a- wait, what is this? A mystical or mythical, or-”

“Arcane?” she offered helpfully.

“Enchanted?” He paced some more, watching the tiny creature burrow into Darcy’s generous bosom. Sighing, he sat down on the bed. “You can keep it for tonight. Tomorrow, you have to take it-”

“It’s not an it, it’s a Maurice!”

“You’re taking Maurice to Banner for a full examination.”

Throwing herself onto him, Darcy chirped, “Okay. Thank you, baby! You’re the best…” She proceeded to show Bucky just how much she appreciated him, and their moans were so loud that even his keen Soldier’s hearing didn’t catch the vicious little chuckle from the closet.

[ideas-4-stories]

Cross Guild Romance prompt: Luffy and the Strawhats are sailing when this sudden and severe storm catches them. In the chaos Chopper goes flying overboard with some debris before anyone can grab him. Luffy and the crew get blown the other way and can only despair and hang on. Come morning Chopper wakes up not in the middle of the ocean but in Cross Guild’s hospital tent with Buggy, Mihawk, and Crocodile looming over him. Chopper thinks he’s gonna be tossed in the dungeons. Instead Mihawk basically takes full charge of him, taking care of him and knowing how beloved the little reindeer is from Zoro’s stories. Buggy and Crocodile are actually nice to Chopper too and spend time with him while they actually try to contact the Thousand Sunny with no luck thanks to signal interfere with the den dens. Mihawk is strict but not unkind, teaching Chopper about herbs and gardening and even some sword play. Buggy includes Chopper in the circus acts since he dances so well, and even Crocodile shows him the baby fruitwanis. Chopper is much liked in Cross Guild and he actually plays unintentional matchmaker for Buggy, Mihawk, and Crocodile. When they manage to finally contact Luffy and inform the Strawhats that they have their beloved doctor safe and sound, they all plan an epic reunion for Chopper, culminating in Luffy and the crew showing up when Chopper is performing on stage with Buggy. It’s an epic reunion of hugs, tears, relief and a bit of reconciliation for Buggy and Crocodile with the straw hats while Mihawk and Zoro get to reunite too. Everyone loves Chopper!

Oh, The Gods Above And Beyond, CHOPPER!!! Poor dude, who knows how long it took him to wash up on the shores of Karai Bari and he did it unconsciously as well clutching onto something that's very buoyancy in the water… You know I'm gonna go with the idea that Chopper was fiahed out of the sea from a Buggy Pirates boat, whether they meant to fish him out or it was a surprise. They rushed to their great glorious chairman as he would know what to do with the reindeer.

I would say it would make more sense if Chopper was asleep for a couple days so the boat can get back to land and let the Cross Guild leaders wonder what they’re gonna do with the reindeer.

Again poor Chopper, waking up in enemy territory is not a great thing to wake up too. Only to be shocked when Mihawk starts to feed him and reassures him that they will make sure Chopper gets back to his crew because when the little reindeer doctor was still sleeping, the trio made the decision it would be a good thing to stay on Luffy’s good side.

Love that Mihawk is doing most of the caring for Chopper, while Crocodile and Buggy would be giving Chopper sweets without knowing that each other are doing it as well. Chopper will be getting double cotton candy and he won’t say anything because Mihawk would definitely stop that (it’s up to you if Mihawk learns about the double dose of candy or not)

Mihawk teaching him about herbs and gardening is so cute! I’m thinking that sometimes Chopper will list off how these herbs could be used to heal and Mihawk is nodded, saying that interesting and jotting it down in a notebook. I can see Chopper holding a very small wooden sword that Buggy got his woodcarvers to make for the little doctor! Chopper is a number one hit just like their chairman to Buggy’s followers. They are definitely cheering him on and cooing when Chopper swears at them. Crocodile taking Chopper with him when he comes to check on his fruitwanis. Chopper is telling him how they are feeling and the big man is happy that his fruitwanis are happy! (Also love that Chopper is playing matchmaker, love that for him!)

I love the ending, truly goanna be a flashy great reunion party!

[abellinthecupboard]

Habitation

(after Margaret Atwood’s “Habitation”) We lie on the soft couch, our legs twining like freckled eels, enmeshing in pearly needled grins of pelagic happiness. We sip our wine and listen to the radio whinny, spurs jingling in the pueblo twilight, light spilling from canteen windows. Two planes collided in mid-air yesterday, and the passengers, all parachuters, leapt for safety and survived without injury. We take turns cooking and cleaning up for each other, put- ting the conch shell to our ear, hearing the blood thrumming. Every day the sun hangs a little more crooked, its smile a little wider, its gold teeth and yellowed gums a smoker’s knick-knacks. This summer is the hottest on record. The newsstands catch fire. We turn over in bed. We are used to our orbits shifting… We talk about our days, pretending our trite quicknesses are interesting, from the school, the office, reciting Gilgamesh’s Epic with insolent cherry lips, kohl arrows staining our cheeks. I feel your indolent heat against the dark mahogany of my ribs. Your lips spark in prayer. Your long shadow unclasps my bra. This marriage is not something pillared, no marble temple. This devotion is a kindled red fire out on the frozen tundra, and night is falling. Flint strikes on flint. Stone births daylight, a magic in an age when every rock and tall tree bears a soul. We bless the sacred heat that licks at the crooked kindling, a gift from the gods that warms our limbs weary from hunting reindeer. We huddle closely in our fur cloaks and skin boots. Not far off, the first pigments are being laid down at Lascaux, Altamira, such lifelike renderings that seem to snort and shriek… Meanwhile, the portraits at Chauvet and Nawarla Gabarnmang are ancient, ancient already, and buzzing with honey ghosts… What is the secret to threading an arrow through the ribs of a running deer, as it gallops through the underbrush toward the dregs of its life? It’s a secret, but I’ll tell you—press your face to the white of this page and I’ll whisper it in your ear.

— Sean Eaton, featured in Hawaii Pacific Review (source)

[mybabygirlelsa]

Elsa in Frozen III / IV

I've been thinking about Frozen 3 and 4 a lot lately (surprise, surprise) and while I am beyond excited about the epicness we're promised, what I really want to see (and hope they will show us) is Elsa being the dork we all know she is. Don't get me wrong, Frozen 2 did have such moments; but now Elsa is truly, actually, properly, fully free to be herself. And just thinking about it makes my heart burst.

Like, I imagine this idiot being absolutely unhinged.

She does competitive swimming against the Nokk, and cannonballs into piles of snow/leaves with Bruni. She takes naps with the Giants, and dances with Gale. She goes around the Enchanted Forest singing songs and having snowball fights, which she loses because she plays fair. She races barefoot against Honeymaren and Ryder while they're riding their reindeer. She makes horrible puns that she delivers with winks and finger guns, she sets up silly pranks that everyone finds twice as amusing because of her blissful maniacal gremlin giggles. She plays hide-and-seek with the Spirits, and climbs trees just to land cat-like behind Anna to spook her when she visits the Forest. She makes snow slides for the children, and they have so much fun with it, that she joins in the game, too. She sends thousands of letters to her sister to tell her about all the new fish and birds and animals she's encountered, and then makes forts in the Castle Library to read all about them. She brings new flowers for Anna's study every week, which she spent days picking because she wanted only the best for her little sister. She's still terrible at charades but now she jokes about it. She talks to Kristoff about reindeer endlessly, mentioning the names that she assigned to those in the Forest, leaving him confused but happy to converse with his sister-in-law about something that he loves. She brings the Northuldra chocolate. She gets up every morning to watch the sunrise, and stops whatever she's doing to watch the sunset. She hides little snowmen all around the castle for Anna to find when she's having a bad day. She counts how many leaves fall from Olaf's favorite tree to help him keep track. She sneaks carrots to Sven. She randomly lies on the ground to sunbathe. She makes bets with Anna about where it will snow first, and whoever wins gets to put the carrot on the snowman they build wherever it snowed.

She's this sweet, fun-loving, mischievous, and happy person that everyone wants to be around, because she's so fucking interesting and fun and smart and kind. She's the person she was forced to hide. She's having the fun she missed all those years, and she does childish things just because she can, because she's finally free; free to explore the world and learn new things, free to feel her emotions. She's finally free to show herself.

And she's overjoyed to be alive.