#epic divorce battle

[toast-com]

Affray of the Otherworldly (4-30-24)

“What’s the matter Seira?” Khaos taunted the other god as he dodged another of his clones, whirling and stabbing another through the heart. “Getting tired?” He continued killing clones, summoning weapons and stabbing them.

Seira scowled, blue eyes steely and glinting as frost magic gathered at the tip of his horn. His face was as cold as the spell he was preparing to attack with.

His wings flared, and he leapt into the air, energy enveloping his feathered form. Seira began to glow as Khaos turned, launching himself in the air.

Khaos picked up speed, flapping wildly as Seira launched the spell. A blinding beam of blue magic pierced the cloudy, gray skies, heading directly for the chaos god.

Khaos tucked his wings in, swooping to avoid it. He was too slow, however, and the magic clipped him, hitting his wing. He shrieked, trying to flap his iced-over wing, and failing, careening and crashing into the ground below.

As he struggled to his feet, Seira alighted, body still faintly aglow with magic. Khaos’ own magic flared, melting the ice encasing his wing, and he whirled to face the feathered god with a snarl. He lunged at Seira, tackling him.

The pair fought on the ground, Khaos ripping feathers out of his skin and tearing the flesh beneath with vicious claws. Below him, Seira’s horn was glowing wildly and his mouth was moving as he uttered a spell under his breath. Khaos hissed, grabbing his horn and crushing it in his clawed hand.

“My horn!” Seira’s wings beat against the ground as he screamed. He reared up, hands reaching for Khaos’ throat. The scaled god leapt back, narrowly avoiding a bolt of ice that embedded itself in the ground. In front of him, Seira stood, magic haloing his head as he chanted, his words clipped and cold.

At his hooves, frost began to spread, racing across the ground, overtaking everything, and heading directly towards his foe.

Khaos growled and took to the air, chanting a spell of his own, smoke trickling from his open mouth. He banked a turn as shards of glinting ice launched at him. With a roar, he summoned an inferno, and it overcame Seira.

He landed a few feet away, watching as the flames raged and burned. A grin stretched quickly across his face, falling away just as fast when the fire was extinguished by a gale of frigid wind, revealing the unburnt form of Seira. A smug look adorned his face as he stood there, sizing the scaled god up.

“Is that the best you can do?” With a wave of his hand, Seira summoned another wave of ice shards. But, Khaos could see that he was faltering, somewhat.

“You seem to be shaking.” Khaos sneered, rushing him down. “Running low on magic? Maybe you should rest.” The feathered god scowled.

“Be quiet!” He snapped, launching the shards, which were immediately vaporized by Khaos’ fire as the scaled god ran at him. The battle devolved into a brawl, a frenzied dance with claws and teeth that both knew all too well.

With a grunt, Seira shoved Khaos away from him. He was panting heavily, covered in various wounds.

“It seems we’ve reached an impasse.” Khaos stared at him, just as bloody as the feathered god was.

“...It seems we have.”

[leodehurlvant]

Local mafia boss getting bullied by his ex’s kids (two of wich were technically his before he lost the custody battle)

[physalian]

What No One Tells You About Writing Fantasy

Every author has their preferred genres. I love fantasy and sci-fi, but began with historical fiction. I hated all the research that historical fiction demands and thought, if I build my own world, no research required.

Boy, was I wrong.

So to anyone dipping their toe into fantasy/sci-fi, here’s seven things I wish I knew about the genres before I committed to writing for them.

1. You still have to research. Everything.

If you want any of your fantasy battle sequences, or your space ships, or your droids and robots, or your fictional government and fictional politics to read at all believable.

In sci-fi, you research astronomy, robotics, politics, political science, history, engineering, anthropology. In fantasy, you have to research historical battle tactics, geography, real-world mythology, folklore, and fairytales, and much of it overlaps with science fiction.

I say you *have to* assuming you want your work to be original and unique and stand out from the crowd. Fanfic writers put in the research for a 30k word smut fic, you can and will have to research for your original work.

2. Naming everything gets exhausting

I hate coming up with new names, especially when I write worlds and places divorced from Earthly customs and can’t rely on Earthly naming conventions. You have to name all your characters, all your towns, villages, cities, realms, kingdoms, planets, galaxies, star systems.

You have to name your rebel faction, your imperial government, significant battles. Your spaceships, your fantasy companies and organizations, your magic system, made-up MacGuffins, androids, computer programs. The list goes on and on and on.

And you have to do it all without it sounding and reading ridiculous and unpronounceable, or racist. Your fantasy realms have to have believable naming patterns. It. Gets. Exhausting.

3. It will never read like you’re watching a movie

Do you know how fast movies can cut between scenes? Movies can balance five plotlines at once all converging with rapid edits, without losing their audience. Sometimes single lines of dialogue, or single wordless shots are all a scene gets before it cuts. If you try to replicate that by head-hopping around, you will make a mess.

It’s perfectly fine to write like you’re watching a movie, but you can’t rely on visual tricks to get your point across when all you have is text on a page – like slow mo, lens flares, epically lit cinematic shots, or the aforementioned rapid edits.

It doesn’t have to, nor should it, look like a movie. Books existed long before film, so don’t let yourself get caught up in how ~cinematic~ it may or may not look.

4. Your space opera will be compared to Star Wars and Star Trek

And your fairy epic will be compared to Tinkerbell, your vampires to Twilight, your zombies to The Walking Dead, Shaun of the Dead, World War Z. Your wizards and witches and any whisper of a fantasy school for fantasy children will be compared to Harry Potter. Your high fantasy adventure will be compared to Lord of the Rings.

You can’t avoid it, but you can avoid doing it to yourself. When people ask about your book, let them say “oh, you mean like Star Wars” to which you then can say, kind of, except XYZ happens in my book. These IPs will never fade from the public consciousness, not while you exist to read this post, at least, but Harry Potter isn’t the only urban fantasy out there. Lord of the Rings isn’t the only high fantasy. Star Wars isn’t the only space opera.

Yours will be on the shelves right next to them, soon enough, and who knows? You might dethrone them.

5. Your world-building is an iceberg, and your book is the tip

I don’t pay for any of those programs that help you organize your book and mythos. I write exclusively on Apple Notes, MS Word, and Google Suite (and all are free to me). I have folders on Apple Notes with more words inside them than the books they’re written for.

If you try to cram an entire college textbook’s worth of content into your novel, you will have left zero room for actual story. The same goes for all the research you did, all the hours slaving away for just a few details and strings of dialogue.

There’s a balance, no matter how dense your story is. If you really want to include all those extra details, slap some appendices at the end. Commission some maps.

6. The gatekeeping for fantasy and sci-fi is still very real

Pen names and pseudonyms exist for a reason. A female author writing fantasy that isn’t just a backdrop for romance? You have a harder battle ahead of you than your male counterparts, at least in the US. And even then, your female protagonist will be scrutinized and torn apart.

She’ll either be too girly or not girly enough, too sexy, or not sexy enough. She’ll be called a Mary Sue, a radical feminist mouthpiece, some woke propaganda. Every action she takes will be criticized as unrealistic and if she has fans who are girls, they will be mocked, too.

If you have queer characters, characters of color, they won’t be good enough, they won’t please everyone, and someone will still call you a bigot. A lot of someones will still call you a bigot.

Do your due diligence and hire your army of sensitivity readers and listen to them, but you cannot please everyone, so might as well write to please yourself. You’re the one who will have to read it a thousand times until it’s published.

7. Your “original” idea has been done before, and that’s okay

Stories have been told since before language evolved. The sum of the parts of your novel may be original, but even then, it’s colored by the media you’ve consumed. And that’s okay!

How many Cinderella stories are there? How many high fantasies? How many books about werewolves and witches and vampires? Gods and goddesses and celestial beings? Fairies and dragons and trolls? Aliens, robots, alien robots? Romeo and Juliette? Superheroes and mutants?

Zombies may be the avenue through which you tell your story, but it’s not *just* about zombies, is it? It’s about the characters who battle them, the endurance of the human spirit, or the end of an era, the death of a nation. So don’t get discouraged, everyone before you and everyone after will have written someone on the backs of what came before and it still feels new.

[aq2003]

no i mean ur supposed to seed polls so you don't pit two popular divorced guys against each other in round 1 </3

Round 1!

May the best divorcee win!

[gayelderstourney]

OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:

THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.

they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them

they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!

Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-

Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio:

well you see they used to be friends but were on opposite sides of the great turf war. cuttlefish gets a 14 year old to go stop octavios army. also they argue in splatoon 3 which is just part of the 100+ year divorce arc BUT AT THE FINAL BOSS IN THE JAPANESE VERSION THEY SHARE THE ICONIC LINE THAT CUES THE CALAMARI INKANTATION AND IN THE ENGLISH CUTTLEFISH TELLS OCTAVIO TO "HIT IT" AND START THE MUSIC AND MUSIC IS SO IMPORTANT TO THE SPLATOON UNIVERSE YAAAAA ik its grasping but its lovers to enemies

Literally I have seen so many people call this old man yaoi.

Old men divorce!!!

They're old men who made their divorce the problem of every young person in their lives <3. 100 years ago during the Great Turf War between inklings and octarians, Craig and Octavio were the chosen ambassadors of their respective species. They got along well, but unfortunately found themselves on opposite sides of the war. During one of the battles Craig shot Octavio in the heart. The inlkings won the war and the octarians were forced underground. For years afterward both men grew bitter towards each other, and eventually Octavio attacked the new Squidbeak Splatoon (a group of secret agents recruited by Craig). Octavio lost both times and got imprisoned in a giant snow globe (and Craig calls him cute). In the latest game Octavio got over his hatred for Inklings (Craig's species) and used his flying mech to help defeat the BBEG of the game. After the final fight, Craig said something to the effect of 'that old rascal turned out to be not so bad!'.

Alright ok hear me out! These two old men have fought in wars for their races against each other and have the craziest pathetic old man homoerotic tension ever. They like, went from at least respecting each other before the war and then they were forced to fight each other and then when Cuttlefish's side won, Octavio went underground like a pathetic lil wet cat and later on he kidnapped Cuttlefish because of game related reasons and both of them still have way too much homoerotic tension!!! And then Octavio gets owned and then in the second game Octavio decides that "Hey actually, lets kidnap Cuttlefish's granddaughter" and the old man isnt even there cause hes busy being a pathetic old man in the under-underground!!! And in the third game they go fron rival/enemies to reluctantly working together to save the world from actual extinction bc some durry bitch wants to cover it in fuzzy ooze and like, both of them have so much old man ship potential and just- theyre still pining for each other even after over a 100 years man,,,,

I personally headcanon Cap'n Cuttlefish as homophobic, but I see the ship a lot and think it's funny.

They’re both at least like 125 probably a bit older, they are so divorced, like peak lovers to enemies back to lovers, Cap’n Cuttlefish calls Octavio cute in Splatoon one immediately after you rescue him from Octavio kidnapping him? So dysfunctional, so gay, so old

They fought in the Great Turf War which was said to be over 100 years ago, Capn Cuttlefish was, well, a captain I believe (he had some sort of rank even if he wasn't a captain, like he led a battle that's singled out in the sunken scrolls of the first game). they act so divorced in the singleplayer mode like they cannot stop insulting each other specifically but octavio always comes back and like kidnaps or insults captain cuttlefish it's so. and when the great zapfish gets stolen in splatoon 3 captain cuttlefish is like "it's the octarians again i know it" like divorced behavior. also it wasn't this time and octavio gets super weird about it. maybe you should stop using children as props in your drama though.

my favorite war crime divorcees <3

They basically are friends to enemies to lovers. Both of them fought in a war that hurt DJ Octavio so bad he can’t become an inkling.

friends -> enemies -> lovers. what more is there to say

they are soooo divorced

they were so gay their breakup ended a war

Craig Cuttlefish got sucked dry by a bear

they got divorced but then they got remarried . they fuckinf hate eachother but they also make out sloppy style and i do not know how that works because neither of them have mouths in their swim form which they are both permanently stuck in. love wins but also loses at the same time with these fucking losers

they are sooo divorced omg. istg they were dating when they were younger and then war n shit happened and now theyre bitter exes who probably still make out sometimes. Makes it so much funnier that theyre old ass men (both over 100!) and Cuttlefish has grandkids

They were on opposite sides of a war and still fell in love

[jezebelgoldstone]

yo zukka nation do i ever have good news for you!

there is a movie (yes movie, not show, so the required time commitment is under three hours) that is an opposite-sides-of-the-war, enemies-to-lovers, blue x red, water x fire, battle-couple, gay-as-all-hell truly epic romance. it's asian. it's anti-imperialist. the music slaps. every single fight is an absolute banger. the symbolism crammed into this one movie outdoes any other given twenty movies combined. it's easily one of the most gorgeous pieces of media i've ever seen. the tragic backstories are tragic. it's a war story. it's about besties doing goofy best-friend-things. there's torture. a mom gets killed. some of the most important relationships are siblings. the redemption arc for the red fire-coded one is off-the-charts. there's a divorce arc. there's a dance-off.

like, seriously. a little tribal girl from a village under the protection of the blue water-coded one gets kidnapped by one of the imperial rulers, and the red fire-coded agent of the imperium is sent to hunt down the water-coded one so he can't rescue the little girl. and then fire and water fall in love.

there's an active fandom, there's fic on ao3 and yes i've written some of it, and there's a huuuuuuge extended universe for anyone who wants more canon to play with.

best part is you can watch it absolutely free and 100% legal here.

and if you don't want to watch it by yourself literally dm me because i am always down to watch it again & i have a hyperbeam account. oh and did i mention that everyone in this movie but especially the two mains are some of the most insanely beautiful people i've ever seen?

kindly pleading with everyone to reblog this also, so that more people who might be interested can find it. there's nothing quite so tragic as the thing that would be one of your favorites being something you've never heard of.

[joachimnapoleon]

My Napoleon Review

I really wanted to like this movie. When it was first announced, I was one of the people in our little community here with a hopefully-optimistic, wait-and-see approach. I wanted to love it the same way I loved Gladiator and Kingdom of Heaven and other historical epics that, despite not being historically accurate, still managed to hook me with good storytelling, excellent casts, and memorable battle scenes and imagery. Ridley Scott's Napoleon has none of the above.

You know what I liked about it? The uniforms. The uniforms looked magnificent and were probably the most accurate aspect of the movie. Almost like Scott had help from historians, but that can't be the case, because Scott says he didn't actually need historians to make Napoleon.

What I was not expecting from this movie was to be bored. Yet that's what I was, for at least the first hour and a half. I'm honestly just perplexed by this even now. I don't know how it's actually possible to make the life of Napoleon Bonaparte so thoroughly uninspiring and dull, but Scott managed to pull it off.

To be fair, he was aided in this superhuman effort by Joaquin Phoenix. I never in my wildest dreams could've seen him doing such a poor job with his interpretation of Napoleon. But honestly, the fact that he's too old for the role actually ended up being the least of what I disliked about this performance, which was basically everything. The early reports coming out when the movie was still being produced about Phoenix putting a lot of effort into understanding Napoleon's psychology gave me what turned out to be a completely misguided hope. When you read descriptions of Napoleon from his contemporaries, you see an energetic, charismatic, vibrant being who exerted an almost inexplicable magnetism that drew people to him and inspired devotion and admiration, even among his critics. There is nothing even remotely inspiring, energetic, charismatic, or vibrant about Phoenix's grim, dour, monotoned Napoleon. He only ceases being grim and dour to become a clown, or to indicate to Josephine in some undignified manner that he is once again in need of sex (at one point he actually oinks repeatedly). In one scene he literally crawls under the dining room table towards her on all fours, while the embarrassed valets watch.

The relationship between Napoleon and Josephine is totally devoid of chemistry. Kirby's acting was fine, but she was given a trash script to work with. At one of their early meetings, Josephine flat-out spreads her legs in front of Napoleon, invites him to look down, and declares that once he sees what's down there, he'll never stop wanting it. It was the cringiest scene imaginable, and frankly an insult to the real Josephine's memory, as were the pathetic sex scenes. The scene of the official divorce is stripped of any dignity by Scott, who decided to have Josephine randomly chuckle at various points while reading her statement, and then made it even worse by having Napoleon actually slap her across the face.

Even the battle scenes were a joke for the most part, and that was the one area where I was certain this movie would shine. It's the usual fare of Side A charges across an open field at Side B, with no discernible tactics whatsoever. Napoleon yells "Send in the infantry!" Shortly after that, "Send in the cavalry!" Corps, regiments etc are just nonexistent; the armies are just big masses hurtling towards each other while the artillery blasts continuously. The Borodino battle scene lasts maybe two minutes and was just disappointing on every level, like damn near everything else in this movie.

Oh, remember that bit from one of the trailers of Napoleon charging headlong, saber drawn? That actually occurs during the Borodino scene. The battle during which real-life Napoleon was uncharacteristically lethargic (and possibly ill) and barely left his tent. And then to top it off, Scott also has Napoleon ride into the fray during the Waterloo scene, and start cutting English soldiers down with his saber like Mel Gibson's William Wallace in Braveheart. I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

The guy they cast to play Wellington appeared to be at least 60 years old. Christopher Plummer he was not. I'm actually planning to watch Waterloo sometime this weekend as a pallet-cleanser.

I imagine the eventual four hour director's cut Scott has spoken of will flesh the narrative out more, but I'm not even sure I'm interested in seeing it after this. I can only hope the rumored Spielberg HBO series on Napoleon will transpire and put in the effort that Scott was not willing to.

Well, the good news is that Rod Steiger is no longer my least favorite Napoleon.

[spoonsand]

PART 2

RIP RED DEAD CHARACTERS YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED

Dutch- podcasts (making his own) + AITA Reddit stories, Coca Cola, monocles

Hosea- bingo, 70s disco music, swing dancing

Arthur- little toy dinosaur dig kits with the teeny tiny shovels, trampolines, Nanaimo bars

John- remote control toy cars, divorced dad music, Mountain Dew

Lenny- antiques, Epic Rap Battles of History (he would duel Sean and sometimes Karen),

Sean- roblox trolling, bell bottoms, GTA

Strauss- flootie pajamas, ebeneezer Scrooge outfits, cold calling

Trelawney- earl gray tea, crashing weddings, throwing pies into people’s faces

Charles- flower crowns, rock tumblers, surfing

Pearson- papas’s games (pizzeria, freezeria, ect), embroidery, floral scents

Micah- court ordered anger management, Andrew Tate, FailArmy videos

Javier- zyns, woodworking, eyebrow slits

Kieran- Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, model trains (him, Sean, Lenny, Arthur, Tilly and Sadie would be absolutely mystified by the set Susan bought him)

Bill- short shorts, petting zoos, animal shelters

Uncle- Leslie Neilson films, heating pads, aligator meat

Reverend- online gambling, Pink Whitney, dap pens

Susan- wine, gold hoops, edibles on a late Friday night (shares with Dutch)

Mary-Beth- choose your own adventure books, Our Souls at Night/The Book Club/And so It Goes, lip lining

Molly- olives, grey’s anatomy, Butterscotch ice cream

Karen- scary movies, WWE, flip flops

Abigail- sparkling water, tiny hand bag sized dogs, face masks

Sadie - butterfly knife, industrial piercing, The Hells Angles,

Tilly- baseball, Star Wars, Volkswagen beetles

Jack- Roblox, Scooby doo movies, tootsie rolls

Bessie- Fleetwood Mac, block parties (she’d host her own), Subway

Annabel- Madonna, waist beads, jelly shoes

Issac- lava lamps, Lego video games, Trelawny

[bugcatcherkit]

having mrs suzuki thoughts again. specifically i always thought of her leaving as smth that she’d intended to be temporary. bc it was in direct response to toichirou saying that he Does have the power to control people, because he’s strong enough that he can just Make them do what he wants. and it was both an assertion of a boundary (“i will not tolerate this behavior. if you continue to act like this, i will remove myself from the situation”) and a direct response to toichirou’s stated belief (“oh yeah? control this, asshole”). and i think that her intention was to make him think about himself and what he was trying to accomplish and the consequences his actions have on himself and everyone around him, and that she’d originally intended to come back when he came to his senses. and COMPLETELY underestimated his total refusal to ever question or consider anything ever.

(btw i think shou’s murder attempt was if not the same, then at least a very similar principle. bc if it had really been about killing toichirou, he probably would’ve just “played the obedient son” and poisoned him or smth. but it wasn’t! it was about confronting him and trying to force him to understand and deal with the consequences of his actions, especially wrt the people who cared about him most! the message being communicated was “look! you’re going so dangerously overboard that even your son, who cares about you, who is still trying to reason with you, is willing to kill you if that’s what it takes to get you to stop!”) (and it just completely flies over toichirou’s head)

sorry for rambling but u know how it is with the suzukis

HI I FINALLY GOT TIME TO ANSWER THIS. I think you summed it up well though !!!

I definitely believe it was supposed to be temporary! It really plays out like a spur-of-the-moment thing, where she suddenly realizes Toichiro is not really who she Believed he was (<- she had a certain image of him in her head I think) and also that would not listen to her WORDS at all. So she had to do something impactful.

Their relationship was very important to them both, and I believe she expected her Absence to lead Toichiro to self-reflect and FINALLY push himself to change so they could KEEP it. But he sucks. And he was already so wound up in the power fantasy that he ignored anything he could not rationalize with it. You can't exactly make semi-divorce seem like a Super Epic Protagonist Battle.

She was making a point to him!!! Showing him that his idea of psychic power being absolute was WRONG because people have power over themselves (free will). Her leaving is like the physical culmination of everything she had been suggesting to him up until then (that he could change, if he CHOSE to).

She has a whole thing about free will. He was supposed to realize he does not, actually, have power over everyone. He ONLY has power over himself, just like everyone else. To think otherwise hurts himself and everyone around him because only focusing on power meant he didn't care about anything else. But yeah she totally overestimated his ability to Self Reflect and also Be Considerate. Aforementioned image she projected onto him, I think (not normal).

and that is where Shou gets it I BELIEVE!!!!!!! The thing with him is that. Like when you said his parents were his only examples and he kind of had to work with what he knew through them.

His philosophy (of kindness and free will and righteousness etc etc etc) was heavily based on what Mrs. Suzuki is shown to believe in, and this is what he based his opposition to Toichiro's ideals on.

Though, he also had to oppose his mom's Methods in favour of Toichiro's in this process. So he was kind of opposing them both while also Not at all doing that. Because he learned from them and was influenced by them. As per the themes. BUT ALSO with that its like. Nothing Shou did was ever really for himself or because of himself and it makes me. ggrhrgrge.

I forgot what else I was gonna say. Suzuki family drives me insane <3

[renthony]

🏳️‍🌈

(Drop a 🏳️‍🌈 in my inbox and I’ll respond with a queer media recommendation!)

Everybody who follows me already knows that The Dragon Prince is my favorite TV show in the whole world. Created for Netflix by Aaron Ehasz (an alumnus of Avatar: the Last Airbender) and Justin Richmond, it's an epic fantasy series that kicks off with a trio of plucky protagonists who are determined to return an egg kidnapped from the dragon queen by a dark mage, because the kidnapping of the dragon prince (hey! the title!) puts the entire world at risk of war.

One of the fundamental themes is exploring the cycle of violence and abuse, and how that cycle can only be broken when people commit to it wholeheartedly. It also shows that, even when someone wants to break the cycle, there are others who are invested in continuing it, and peace takes incredible and painful work.

The worldbuilding is phenomenal, the character and creature design is incredible, the story is gripping, and the writing is...*chef's kiss.* Every season is better than the last, and the increase in animation quality across the years is unreal. Season six was utterly ethereal.

Phase one of the series spanned seasons one to three, and we are currently in the final stretch of arc two ("Mystery of Aaravos"), encompassing seasons four to seven. Season six just dropped, and according to the official Instagram account, it's been #1 on Netflix for the past five days! That's really great news, because they're trying really hard to get greenlit for arc three--so now is a really, really great time to get into the show! You want to do it, you want to do it so bad. Use the hashtags #TheDragonPrince, #ContinueTheSaga, and #GiveUsTheSaga if you do! Please, for the love of fuck! 😭😭😭

Currently there are six seasons of the tv show, several books (including novelizations, original comics, and art book, and in-universe guides), a tabletop roleplaying game, a board game, and a brand-new video game that launched this week. This world is huge, and it's so fun to explore!

Here's the trailer for season one of the show:

Here's a trailer for the most recent season, for those who saw the early seasons but didn't keep up:

And here's the trailer for the mobile game:

As far as why I'm recommending it as a queer show, there are so many queer characters. The show prompted some griping early on because it had a pair of tragically dead lesbian queens, but in the seasons since, they've introduced a gloriously alive lesbian battle couple who get married on-screen, a married pair of gay men, three different trans characters (one of whom joins the main cast in season 4 and remains a major character), and a general lovely air of casual queerness in a high fantasy setting. The tabletop roleplaying game has multiple canon queer characters, too, and the show's cast and crew have made it clear that they have queer people among them, they fully support queer people in the fandom, and they want to include queerness in their world. It's awesome.

(And I'm still sticking with "when one man looks at another man and says 'our baby was so cute,' that's canon enough for me." So there's some fantastic queer villainy that's, like, the perfect icing on the cake for me personally. The Dragon Prince: for all your unholy dark magic mpreg bug baby needs!)

Also, this show has my poorest, saddest, littlest, wettest meow-meow babygirl of all fucking time: Lord Viren, (former) High Mage of Katolis, the most turbo-divorced man in all existence. If you follow me, you've seen that motherfucker. You know who he is. You have seen his sad miserable little face. You know who I am and what I'm here for. This paragraph is not a surprise to you. You know.

Here's a picture of me in Viren cosplay, as both a shameless cosplay self-promo and a reiteration that, no, seriously, this is my favorite TV show ever:

Ask For a Rec | Other Media Recommendations | Support Links

[toast-com]

No context fight scenes:

[capricorn-writer-kawaii]

My Flame Hero

Chapter 1

Pairing: Enji Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Enji Todoroki X Reader, ⚠️smut⚠️, fluff, angst, age difference, divorced Endeavor, ⚠️anime spoilers⚠️

Words: 3k

Summary: Your relationship with your boss, the flame hero, started on a wild night in the hot springs. Time continues passing and you two seem closer than ever.

A/N: Hello again! As you know, I love this idea of how Enji Todoroki's life has changed after all his character development. This time, I was thinking about how society and his kids would react when knowing he's starting a new relationship. Once again, I must thank @merrymonkey for creating the art. ❤️

🔥Clic here to read the first part of the story🔥

Chapter 1

Sitting next to All Might, Endeavor crossed his giant arms and frowned at the screen in front of him. It was playing scenes of both his and the blonde's most epic battles. Everyone in the audience praised and people from the media kept taking pictures.

"Come on, Todoroki, change that face!" said All Might laughing and hugging him.

“Get off! I hate this, it makes me feel old. Why the hell did they have to do a whole anniversary celebration?"

"Stop whining! When you accepted the position, this was included. Hey, look! A picture of the day you opened your agency. And there I am!"

Enji frowned even more when he saw himself young, with much more energy and without that scar on his face that he hated so much. Now that he was getting closer to his 50s, he looked so different. He was about to go down that spiral of thoughts concerning his age when he felt how an elbow hit him in the ribs. Turning around, he discovered that it was his youngest son.

“Dad, try to smile. You look more terrifying than usual."

Forced to soften his expression, Enji kept looking at the tribute they had made for him and All Might. It was supposed to be something small, his agency had only received an invitation for the inauguration of a new school dedicated to the two legendary heroes. He tried not to attend and for his son to go in his place, but your insistence and Shoto's forced him to show up.

Upon arrival, Enji cursed when he noticed some politicians and reporters there. He was already close to dealing with all of them during the Hero Billboard Chart JP of that year, but now, he would have to do it before. He missed when he didn't have to worry about those events and it was All Might who had to give the speeches.

"I shouldn't be here looking at pictures of me, I should be working." He commented to his son in a low voice.

“Relax, you left your trusted heroes in charge of the agency for today. Midoriya and Bakugo are there too, nothing will happen if you're away for a while."

“Last time I wasn't in the office, you and your friends destroyed two buildings for not being careful, Shoto. I ended up paying for those damn reconstructions out of my own pocket.”

"It wasn't my fault, Bakugo got out of hand because of Midoriya's comment and then we couldn't calm him down." Shoto clarified, very embarrassed by that accident. "Besides, that won't happen today, you left your girlfriend in charge of those two, right?"

Endeavor sighed remembering how permissive you were with those boys, and if it was Hawks, the matter was worse. However, the number 1 hero couldn't continue the conversation, since at that moment they had shown the photograph of the day he fought against the Nomu. It was epic and memorable, there was no one who did not know that photograph. Yet, that day the hero could not do more than look at his face covered in blood from the tremendous wound he had received. Stealthily, he brought his hand to his face and as soon as he felt that area where his skin felt different, he immediately removed his hand.

Back at the agency, Enji and Shoto entered together and as usual, wherever they passed, people greeted them by bowing their heads showing respect. Apparently, it was a normal day, many of the heroes were in the office that day and not on patrol. Among them, Shoto noticed his friends, who were miraculously talking like civilized people while having some tea.

While Bakugo and Deku greeted your boyfriend, you and Hawks were also getting closer.

“Congratulations, big boss! Looking good, huh, old man?”

Hawks touched a nerve in his head calling him that, causing Endeavor to glare at him and Midoriya to swallow hard at the same time that Bakugo laughed, nothing made him more amused than seeing the flame hero upset.

"Don't tell me you were watching the broadcast, you must have been working," Enji scolded.

“The guys took care of everything quickly and we had the rest of the afternoon free.” You clarified with a discreet smile, although Shoto and Hawks knew about you, the others had no idea.

That easily you managed to lower the bad mood of the hero, who nodded silently.

"Okay, since we're finishing early today, how about we all go for a beer?" Hawks proposed.

“And since it's early we can go to karaoke! What do you say, Kacchan, do you want to go?" Deku asked so excited that his eyes were shining, of course, he only made Bakugo look at him with contempt and growl. “Todoroki, do you want to come with us? Let's call the others, I'm sure they'll want to go!”

"Wait a moment! What do you mean to go for a beer?" Endeavor asked, getting upset again. “Hawks, what the hell's on your mind? They are children!"

“They aren't children, they're already adults. In just a couple of months, these guys will graduate from the U.A. In fact, why don't you join us, Endeavor? If there's anyone here who can teach them to drink, it's you."

You couldn't help but laugh at Hawks' inappropriate comment. On numerous occasions the three of you had gone drinking, Best Jeanist had also accompanied you, as well as Mirko, who drank more than all the pro heroes put together. Nevertheless, Endeavor had never gone out with the young boys to drink.

"Nobody has to teach me how to drink, nobody has to teach me anything!" Bakugo exclaimed.

"Come on, Endeavor, you don't have anything to do either, we already checked your schedule." Hawks insisted.

"What's happening Dad? Do you have so little resistance to alcohol that you prefer not to go?”

“Careful, Shoto! You shouldn't even be drinking if you're preparing to be…”

“Here we go again…” You whispered in Hawks's ear and even yawned, you already knew Enji was coming up with a speech for his son. A speech that only Deku listened carefully.

Enji spoke until you discreetly placed your hand on his shoulder. Anyone would think that you did it to get closer to the boys, but your boyfriend knew that you did it so that he would leave Shoto alone.

“What do they say if you call your friends and we meet at the entrance?” You asked winking at the three boys, whose cheeks turned red, for none of them could deny that you were gorgeous.

Everyone at the agency said it, Enji Todoroki's right hand was spectacular, and just as you had caught the attention of your boss with your personality and with your sexy costume, you had also done it with practically all the men who worked there. However, seeing the idiotic smile of the four of them, Endeavor raised his flames higher and brought them back to the ground.

“If you're done, get out of here. And you, Miss Plans," he said directing his turquoise eyes at you. “May I have a word with you in my office?”

Following your boss, you disappeared with him while Hawks was in charge of taking the boys out, he was sure that Endeavor wouldn't let you leave just like that, Shoto himself knew it.

Once in the privacy of Enji's office, as soon as he closed the door, you walked over to his desk and sat there, laughing at the frown of your man.

"Why are you so grumpy today?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He responded by opening a couple of buttons on his shirt to make himself more comfortable.

"Honey" you called crossing your legs, and when he looked up and fixed his gaze on you, he finally flashed his first honest smile of the day, a little lustful, but honest. "You really don't want to go?"

The handsome hero had cornered you by bringing both hands to his desk, barely encircling your hip, and not letting you move. Then, fixing you with that look that had made countless villains tremble, he shook his head.

"Why would I want to go drinking with some kids if I can do it with you?"

Biting your lips, you began to feel Enji's hands opening your legs a little more and his lips getting closer and closer to your neck until, without warning, he bit you and then began to lick and suck, first slowly, but then with more intensity. You wanted to keep talking to him, but it was practically impossible when he was distracting you like that, and when you could perceive his manly scent so close, you had always loved how he smelled, it was one of the first things that made you lose your head for him.

The burning heat that emanated from your boyfriend every time you were together abruptly subsided, just as his kissing stopped. It was enough for you to hear how his breathing changed to know that he had gotten upset, but you didn't understand what had made him so angry until they knocked on the door a second time.

"WHAT?!" The redhead roared with a tone of voice that made the entire office rumble.

"Enji!" Very embarrassed for not knowing who was outside, you patted him on the chest before getting off the desk and adjusting your clothes a bit. "Stop responding like that."

"The door is locked, that means I don't want anyone to come in!" He also fixed his clothes and walked to the chair, he had to sit down or his erection would give away what you were about to do.

"Hey, boss, it's me!"

“You have to be fucking kidding me.” Endeavor cursed, slamming his fist into the desk.

Aware that Enji couldn't open, you did it yourself. Hawks entered the office with his eyes closed, which caused you to laugh but the flame hero wanted to burn him right there.

"What do you want? Shouldn't you be on your way to who knows where?"

“The guys are asking about your girlfriend. How do you want me to explain to them that she's not there because you're fucking her brain out?" The next thing Hawks felt didn't even come from Enji, but from you when you hit him hard on the head, causing the redhead to grin from ear to ear.

"Why didn't you just say we had a meeting?"

“Midoriya has the innocence of a baby, but your son and Bakugo don't. They were with us all day, they know there was nothing to talk about.”

"Hawks is right." You said with a sigh, after all, you had waited all day to be alone with Enji. "I'll go with them for a while and see you at home later."

"What?!" With Endeavor's exasperated question came a shout from Hawks covering his eyes again and yelling at the two of them to make him see such things. "You’re not leaving! You're with me!"

"I won't be long, I promise you." You said completely ignoring all the drama that Hawks was making for having to witness his boss's huge boner.

Finally, you managed to convince Enji that it would be best not to arouse suspicion, and although you knew that he had been furious, resentful, and wallowing in jealousy, you went out with them.

Late at night, Enji was in your new apartment. Although you told him that it was not necessary, there was no way he would change his mind, he wanted to buy a place for you two. As expected, the hero spared no expense, as he wanted a place that was comfortable and private enough that no one would disturb you. Thus, while he waited for you to arrive, he read the reports of the last jobs he had done. He had a hard time focusing, at first, he thought he was tired and that's why he couldn't read well. He even cursed the one who had written those reports in such small letter size. In fact, he was doing just that when you greeted him from the door of his office.

"Are you fighting alone, handsome?" You asked hiding a mocking smile; however, your face changed when you noticed how your boyfriend was dressed. It drove you crazy to see him in those traditional and comfortable clothes he used at home.

“Tomorrow that secretary will listen to me. I already told her to stop printing like this! You can't read anything.” Exasperated, he handed you the papers.

"I think the problem's not your secretary, it's that you need glasses, dear."

“I don't need glasses! My eyesight has always been the best of all!”

"Enji, if you keep freaking out and throwing flames around you, one day you won't be able to see properly."

"I can see well! I don't need glasses." The flame hero looked at you seriously and crossed his arms. “Did you see the hour, kid? It was supposed to be fast. I dined alone.” You didn't even try to hide your smile, no one would believe you if you said how spoiled Enji Todoroki was and how much he hated being away from you.

Fortunately, it wasn't hard for you to apologize, because as soon as you proposed to take a bath together, you won him back.

One of your favorite parts of the new apartment was the outdoor jacuzzi. Being in such a remote area, you could enjoy the tranquility of the night and take a bath while you admired the city lights.

Sitting on Enji's lap, you massaged his wide and sturdy shoulders. You could tell he was tense, which wasn't easy to identify considering every muscle in his body was rock solid; however, his body language told you that something was up with him.

"You didn't like the tribute they gave you, right?" Your question caused Enji to open his eyes again, he had been enjoying your hands, but the memory of the afternoon clouded his gaze. "I know you don't like those kinds of activities, but I didn't expect this to bother you so much."

“It wasn't the activity. I just felt like it had been a long time since I started on this. I've worked so hard, kid, I don't realize how quickly the years have gone by.

"Nostalgic, huh?"

With his typical smile that made every part of your body vibrate, Enji nodded.

“I think I'm spending too much time with Toshinori. Anyway… now that I remember, Hawks interrupted us earlier.”

And just like that, your boyfriend was back, that scorching look giving him away that he had thought about you all day and that now having you close, he didn't care about anything other than causing you pleasure.

"Kid..." he called, attacking your neck again but this time he didn't show the slightest delicacy, he bit you so hard that you couldn't silence a moan. “What did I tell you about your smiles? You keep showing them to everyone like it's nothing, like they're not mine."

It was inevitable for Endeavor to heat the atmosphere when he got aroused, you'd already gotten used to ending up drenched in sweat every time you made love to your boyfriend. So once the water got hotter, you knew he was ready to make you scream.

Sex with Enji was still as hot and passionate as the first time in the hot springs, just as aggressive. It seemed that you were his prey and that he was ready to jump on you at any moment. The flames that emanated from his body and his penetrating gaze warned you to be prepared, but above all, the enormous erection that you found in your boyfriend every day did so. There were nights when you didn't sleep at all because Endeavor simply couldn't stop fucking, you and everything seemed to indicate that that would be one, because although you didn't know, he wanted to show you and himself that the others were wrong, he hadn't aged yet.

Unlike all those nights in which you allowed him to tempt you until you begged him to enter your body, this time you could only dig your nails into his manly back. Enji waited for absolutely nothing to penetrate you; after all, he knew that once by his side, you were always ready to receive him.

The redhead moaned in pleasure feeling how tight you were. Sometimes he was so cruel that to provoke you, he would just put in the tip of his cock and not move for a few seconds. He tempted you by letting you feel his body throbbing inside you, he made you want to lose control of his hips, but he didn't, he just looked at you with an evil smile.

“I hate you so much…”

Your comment made him laugh exactly the same way he did when he cornered a villain. Of course, hearing his laughter at that moment could only turn you on more, but when you tried to move, he didn't let you, he held your legs very tightly, a little more and his hands would be marked on your thighs by days. However, you were just as stubborn as he was, and you kept trying to move. That little fight to see which one had more power made the moment even more erotic. Endeavor was dying to fuck, but he was so proud and he liked to dominate you so much that he would put you in your place first.

"Who do you think you're dealing with, kid?" He asked you, frowning and sounding somewhat offended, even annoyed.

"Let go of me" You commanded, but instead, you only managed to get him to hold you tighter and to show you that he was doing what he wanted. Endeavor moved a little, just a little, but it was enough for you to bite your lips so as not to scream at how good it felt.

Delighted that you were the one he shared his nights with, Endeavor looked at you with a mixture of charm and anger. You continued refusing to obey him and, as cunning as ever, you activated your quirk, one that put him at a disadvantage. As long as you were in physical contact with your opponent, you could mind control him to do whatever you wanted. Just as you could increase the capacity of any quirk with a single command, you could disarm him.

"You're not gonna make it." He warned you when he heard your voice in his mind.

However, Endeavor had chosen you as his sidekick with good reason, and even someone like him with the strong willpower he had, fell when he faced you. Your order was not for him to release you, but to move his hips. If Enji wanted to break free of your spell, he had to let go of your legs, and get away from you, and it was something you knew he wouldn't do for the world. Furious, but even more excited than before seeing how strong you were, he kissed you passionately. Without knowing if he did it to distract you or not, you just received him with the same ardor.

The kiss ended, but you didn't deactivate your quirk, if Endeavor didn't let you use your legs, you could still use other parts of your body. That was how you managed to break his will. Enji growled from the fury he felt seeing that he was not capable of ignoring your orders, and you chuckled feeling how he kept fighting. The more he fought, the more passionately you now devoured his neck. Normally you marked it where the costume hid, but that night you didn't care, Enji had played too much with you. The hero realized what you were doing, where you were leaving obvious marks, but far from being annoyed, he got even more aroused thinking about how cheeky, stubborn, and possessive you could be.

Thus, after a while Enji's huge hands left your legs, but only for one of them to hold you by your hair, he could feel your neck with his fingers.

“You have no idea what you got yourself into.” He said holding you tight.

“Why don't you teach me, number one? What's wrong, a few orders were enough to break you down?"

The heat that came out of Enji's body upon hearing that would have driven anyone else away, but you were used to it, you could take it now. Your boyfriend had been upset, you knew he couldn't stand being provoked, he was too proud to ignore something like that. You had gotten yourself into trouble, but one you could never regret.

Endeavor didn't stop all night, he didn't care that you trembled from so much pleasure, or that you asked him for some time, he kept fucking you until your voice didn't come out. That night you didn't see the slightest trace of tenderness in his movements. Countless times you thought that your body would give no more, but Enji knew your limits and calculated to just reach them but not pass them, not because he had compassion, but because he was not going to let you save yourself so easily.

After having been in the jacuzzi for a long time, he took you to bed. You bit the pillows, you soaked the sheets and Enji didn't stop, he kept going in and out of your body as if it was the first time he was tasting you. Endeavor was the only one capable of reaching parts of your body that only he knew about, points that caused you so much pleasure that he even managed to bring you to tears.

He had you on your back holding on to your hips for so long that now it wasn't just your legs, your hips would also have his huge hands marked for who knows how long. You felt how the sweat that fell from his chest drenched your back, and it seemed so provocative to you that you had orgasms just for feeling that, for hearing his growls in your ears, and for feeling his burning breath on the back of your neck.

And not to mention your poor knees, because Enji indulged himself in that position, in which he only let you use the muscles of your legs because he held you behind the wrists. The hero was willing to remove any trace of sanity or purity that remained in you. That was how Enji came over and over again that night. He did it whenever he wanted, on your face, on your breasts, on your mouth, on your back, legs, inside you, You couldn't be more full of him, literally.

You don't remember when you fell asleep, exhausted from so much physical activity. The next morning when you opened your eyes, you wanted to die right there, everything hurt, you could swear that even your hair hurt. There was no way you were working that day, luckily it was Saturday.

Enji didn't wake up early either, that day the handsome hero slept by your side until almost noon, something that rarely happened; however, his body also needed rest, never like yours, of course. The night had been so wild that as soon as you opened your eyes, you saw how hurt his back and shoulders were. You tried to get up, but you couldn't and your moaning automatically woke up your boyfriend.

"Hi, kid." He greeted with a hoarse voice, but with a sweet smile, while, stretching out his arm, he brought you closer to his huge body.

"I can't move" you muttered.

"Perfect, that's what I wanted to hear."

"You, idiot" You responded trying to push him, but you couldn't even move an arm. Laughing heartily, Endeavor took your hand and kissed it before placing it on top of his pecs. "I'm serious. I think you broke me.”

"I can fix you back, baby, that's not a problem." Before you could answer anything, the redhead kissed your forehead and then stared at your face. “How can you be this stunning?”

"Oh please! I'm a mess.”

"You're MY mess, my beautiful and sweet mess."

You smiled back, barely able to caress his cheek. A short time later, he got up, and if you had been able, you would have stopped him, but you couldn't, everything hurt.

"I'll be right back, I'll go get something to eat."

"Enji" you called as he was almost out the door and as soon as he turned around, you spoke again. "I love you."

From where you were you could see how the hero's cheeks blushed a little.

"I love you too, kid." He said before disappearing with a smile.

After a while, you had breakfast in the comfort of your bed next to Enji. Despite what anyone would think, your boyfriend knew how to cook and when he had time, he would prepare delicious meals for you. The truth was that the number 1 hero treated you like a queen, he pampered you a lot, more than you could believe yourself. He always made sure you had your favorite foods at home; in fact, he had started doing the groceries himself, something that still surprised you, but later you discovered that it was because he wanted to make sure that you had everything you liked so that you felt comfortable and began to see that apartment as your home. Enji had tried hard to make it that way, he even hired a decorator and as a surprise to you, he wanted the apartment to have your essence. Curiously, you didn't have such different likes. Maybe Endeavor was a bit more traditional, but he liked the touch you gave not only to the apartment but to his life as well.

Enji also wanted you to have your clothes there, and even though you told him it wasn't necessary, he kept bringing you different designer pieces very often. You loved everything, but you had to confess that you loved even more his clothes. You kept wearing his t-shirts when we allowed you, for most of the time you were naked on the bed.

While you ate, Enji smirked. Every so often he looked at you out of the corner of his eye, he loved seeing you wearing his clothes, and that morning was no exception. However, even with his huge t-shirt, he could see all the marks he had left on you from the night before. That was how he carefully caressed the part of your thigh where the mark of his hand had been printed.

"I think I went too far, love, sorry."

"Why? You know I love it when you do it." You responded by winking at him.

Having regained a bit of energy after eating something, you reached over to kiss his cheek, but when you did, your eye was caught by a silver hair among the ones that covered his beard. You also noticed that there were also a few among his red hair.

"What's wrong, what do I have?" Enji asked when he noticed that you were staring at him. You delicately took one of those hairs, it had just fallen off and you were able to show it to him. However, what you considered to be incredibly attractive, Enji did not.

"Shit," he hissed.

You spent so much time making love to Endeavor that you knew his body perfectly well, so you were surprised not to notice that even on his chest there were a few silver hairs. Or surely you had noticed it but you hadn't thought too much about it, you already liked your boyfriend too much, you found everything about him attractive. The mood swing lasted all day, Enji was serious and grumpy, but at least that didn't stop the hero from coddling you for leaving you so exhausted.

🔥To be continued...🔥

[ascendancyzine]

BEST CHISS COMPETITION

Week 1 Poll 2: Thurfian vs Zisthalmu

Clash of the Syndics!

Who will triumph in this battle of the Syndics? Thurfian, the cunning and ambitious leader of the Mitth family ... or Zistalmu, the shrewd and calculating Syndic of the Irizi family? Everyone's least favorite divorced couple (including themselves) takes center stage. Their rivalry is legendary, but only one can come out on top. Cast your vote and decide who wins this epic showdown!

Thurfian and Zisthalmu art by @emp-roar!

[garland-on-thy-brow]

Facts about Pompey:

Eel.

Bites.

Licking Sulla's sword.

Epic custody battle for Sulla's children.

Told to go die by his own daughter, in homeric verse.

Loves to divorce people.

Cannot divorce Crassus (legally you cannot divorce a ghost).

Built a haunted boat.

Made his personal rostra at home.

It is cool when in opera he gets arias about ships.

[melrosing]

MBO Robert's Rebellion: Episode 9

If this were like GOT this would be the big WOW episode. I guess it is in the sense of ‘WOW Tywin and Aerys FINALLY get divorced’.

btw we have skipped one year since last time. next is harrenhal go figure

Prev: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8

Next: Episode 10

title for this one: irreconcileable differences babes

Sumner Crakehall (+ retinue) & Arthur Dayne ride through the Kingswood: they’re here to take out the Kingswood Brotherhood, a band of outlaws. SUDDENLY: ambush!!!

Ringing steel, 20-30 dudes fighting it out under the trees. Lord Sumner Crakehall, battling a foe, has his back to an outlaw of great stature wielding an equally sizeable warhammer (that’s Big Belly Ben of the four line wiki fyi)

Just as BBB takes aim, a young Jaime Lannister  (15) leaps between the two, and with alarming alacrity manages to fight off the outlaw in Sumner’s defence. Their fight is shortly interrupted by a smaller man, dressed in what look like rags: he wears a half-crazed smile, and is eager for a challenge

Jaime vs the Smiling Knight etc. Both are extremely fast, and the Smiling Knight laughs every time he comes close to landing a blow. Jaime holds his ground impressively, till one blow comes close to taking his head off; in an Epic Move, Arthur Dayne abruptly intersects

SK and Arthur circle one another, Crakehall holding young Jaime back at the sidelines; the Smiling Knight announces he would like Ser Arthur’s Sword for himself - Arthur declares that he shall have it, then. This is the first time we see Arthur kill, and he is deadly efficient about it

When the Smiling Knight lays dead, all stand around in stunned silence, till Arthur approaches Jaime. He states that he would make the boy a knight, and Jaime wears his delight like a kid

Opening creds ⚔️

Jaime kneels in a tiny sept, lit only by a handful of candles. He’s praying earnestly to the Warrior. Arthur arrives and places a hand on his shoulder. Jaime is knighted in half a daze, and we see his white tunic turn red at the shoulders as the blade cuts him (I ask again GRRM: what the fuck). He rises, and Arthur looks him dead in the eye, pronouncing him a knight: somehow it sounds almost like a warning

Jaime on horseback, grinning like a fool, reaches a crossroads - he can head back to the Westerlands, or to the capital to visit Cersei. Buzzing with his excitement, Jaime chooses the latter

In King’s Landing: Elia Martell lies in bed, receiving a visit from her brother Oberyn: he holds her daughter Rhaenys. Rhaenys looks some months old, but it seems Elia isn’t recovered from the birth. Oberyn says that Elia ought to come home to Dorne where the air is cleaner, Elia smiles but won’t indulge the notion. When Oberyn tries to push it, she grows impatient at his insistence, and then fatigued; a nearby maester suggests that Oberyn ought to leave the Princess to rest

Cersei in Tywin’s solar; her father sits at his desk, writing in silence. Cersei pokes at the correspondence on his desk to see if anything is of interest, finds nothing. Eventually Tywin speaks to her, saying she’ll have heard of Elia’s poor health. Cersei says she has. Tywin suspects that Elia is not long for this world, and that Rhaegar will soon be in need of another wife for that all important male heir. Cersei smiles, taking the hint; Tywin looks like he’s almost smiling. Cute father-daughter moments <3

Tywin says he is also close to making a match for Jaime. Kill Bill sirens

Cat (17) and Lysa (15) at Riverrun, Cat braiding Lysa’s hair with flowers. The sisters are aware that a betrothal is impending, and Lysa is anxious - Jaime didn’t seem very interested last he was here. Cat assures her that both he and Lysa have grown now, and he’ll surely fall in love next he sees her - and in any case, he’s a far greater prospect than Petyr Baelish. Lysa considers this :/

Jaime rides up to King’s Landing, and is greeted at the Keep by Cersei. Jaime is hardly off his horse before he’s informing her of his knighthood, and a fugue look passes across Cersei’s face - another thing she’ll never have. Abruptly, she dismisses Jaime’s news and warns him of an impending threat. He must meet her in Eel Alley tonight, and she’ll tell him everything. Cersei rushes away, leaving Jaime perplexed

Rhaegar and Elia in Elia’s bedchambers. Rhaegar plays the harp for Rhaenys, and is pleased by his daughter’s interest in the sound. Elia thanks Rhaegar for coming to see her, and says she’s feeling better than she had the day before. Rhaegar agrees that is good. He tells her he has dreamt again, of a boy with silver hair - they will have a son. Elia says she’s not sure she’s ready for another child just yet; Rhaegar agrees, now is too soon, but when she is healed, she must tell him so. Elia, uneasy, agrees

Evening: Jaime wandering Eel Alley, checks the name of a tavern - enters, takes a room apparently by instruction and waits, confused. Eventually Cersei arrives in common garb, and before Jaime can ask further questions, she kisses him. From Jaime’s surprised expression, it looks as though this is a habit they’d almost fallen out of - but just as quickly they fall back into it

Aerys in some kind of dungeon with the pyromancers. He asks that they show him again how the substance works - can it be controlled? The pyromancers demonstrate, using a rat. Aerys is enchanted. He says there are prisoners at the Keep of no import, they can test on those next

Morning: Jaime wakes besides Cersei, looking deliriously happy. Cersei breaks the mood by informing him of the impending betrothal. Jaime isn’t thrilled: he supposes it could be worse, but Lysa’s sister was more - stops, catches himself. Cersei says it doesn’t have to be that way: Jaime’s already proved himself a great knight, so why doesn’t he prove himself greater still and join the Kingsguard?? Cersei’s stuck in King’s Landing after all and will probably be married to Rhaegar just as soon as his wife dies, so surely it all makes perfect sense?? Jaime is in two minds; Cersei kisses him over and over until Jaime, laughing, agrees

nice one jaime I’m sure this will work out well for you

We see Cersei whisper something to one of Elia’s ladies in the waiting; game of telephone begins, till this information is in the hands of Varys, who delivers it to the King himself

Skip forward some weeks: Tywin, apparently managing some dealings at the Rock, receives a missive from the King. He opens it, and looks STRICKEN

We watch Tywin walking through hallways in a single long shot (yes im the director here as well xo). His face is a fucking storm

Tywin goes to his son, demanding how this came about. It’s the first we’ve heard him shout. Jaime says he has no idea, insisting still under Tywin’s furious gaze, looks like a kid again. But, he suggests that perhaps he could simply decline? Tywin knows that’s not an option anymore: he walks out

A silent scene, in which we see Hoster break some news to Lysa; Lysa crumples on the spot

Later, in Tywin’s solar: there are many and various broken ornaments (probs priceless) lying about his desk. Tywin summons his maester, and tells him to write to the King that he finds himself unwell, and cannot return to King’s Landing: he must resign

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

for the title ask game: We Were Gods (we were kids)

I want to hear more about that one, that's a riveting title! :eyes:

Ahhh yes, so originally this fic was inspired by the song Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil. It's a duet and like a divorce song? "This isn't a break-up, dearheart, it's a season finale!" I got the title from the lyrics where one part sings the line "We were gods" and then the other part echoes it with "We were kids" and that's just *chefs kiss* perfect fanfic title thank you TAD <333

The premise was childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to supers fighting on opposite sides to reluctant allies to (finally) lovers. And it was going to be a parkner fic (peter parker/harley keener). It was going to be an epic slow burn spanning nearly their whole lives.

Then I thought why not pry it out of its fanfic foundation and stand it on its own as an original concept? Harley is essentially my OC and Peter could be shaped into an OC too and the plot I had in mind had hardly any of the source material in it so why not? I'd just tweak some names, create my own super powers and aliens and then boom! Book!

Didn't work 🙃 I wrote a 110k draft and got to the end and was like wow this sucks. I half-assed the world building and tried to hang onto plot devices that just don't work outside the mcu (they don't even work within the mcu but I digress) SO now we're back to square one: making it a fanfic. Except it's not really square one because I have 110k that I need to snip and prune and repot back into a fic.

Actually it's more like 85k bc I have to re-write the beginning since I ended up keeping that part for my book, but the rest just needs reworked into something I like with the characters that we know and love plugged back in. It's going to be a massive revision project but not any more difficult than writing the thing lol

But anyway! It's going to feature super villain!Harley which I am very excited about. He is sooooo tortured in this one and Peter has the shittest luck in the whole world <333

I don't have a good excerpt to share so here is the high-level outline for part one!

Part 1: Childhood

Peter’s parents die in a plane crash. He moves to Rose Hill to live with Uncle Ben and Aunt May and meets Harley

Harley has his hands full with… his dad just walked out. He wasn’t abusive. It was just shocking and all at once. They thought something terrible happened, but after they report him missing Scotty at the corner store stops by and says he sold him scratchers. Then a few hours later the sheriff stops over with his hat in his hands and tells them his truck was found in the lot at the airport in Nashville. “Let him go,” Mama says. “Don’t want no man who don’t wanna be around. Let ‘im go.” And that was the end of that.

Peter arrives while Harley is getting used to being the only one home after school. Abbie’s off with Mrs. Farley in town while Mama works, so it’s just him most days ‘til Mama gets home around 5.

Starts hanging out with the Parkers. They keep him ‘round for dinner. Scares Mama the first time bc he didn’t ask ahead and wasn’t home when she got there. She demands to meet them.

They get on great and once they learn of her newly single situation they offer to watch Harley in the afternoons until she gets home from work. No need for payment or thank yous—it just so happens that Peter could really use a friend right now and they’ve been getting along so well.

So it begins. No creek. No pokemon. Peter and Aunt May clash like the dickens, but Uncle Ben is always cool and rational and settles things before they go too far. It’s nice.

Peter is obsessed with planes and tracking flights and researching news of lost flights, crashes, etc. Huge fear of flying, but not of heights. This fear stays with him, even when Harley turns into a flying superhero.

EJ is Harley’s bully. Harley is a talkative little nerd with a stutter and a penchant for mathematics. He attracts the mean types and Peter has a loud bark and never has had the good sense to back down from a fight. The shared battles cement them together.

After being blindsided by his dad leaving, Harley had to reevaluate everything he thought about family. Family is no longer who you get along with, despite differences. It’s no longer who you put on a smile for. It’s who you can disagree with and still hug and laugh with at the end of the day. It’s refreshing that he always knows where he stands with the Parkers. They have big feelings and they don’t bury them, but they’re solid. They’re dependable. They’re there.

Then the Parkers move to New York and leave Harley behind and his theory on what makes a family falls apart all over again.