#ep: Carry On Hawkeye

[marley-manson]

Comrades in Arms has so much gender role stuff going on and I'm very into it.

Brief preamble, masculinity and femininity aren't 'traits that men have' and 'traits that women have,' they're socially prescribed attributes that can vary from society to society and are forcibly assigned to men and women. I feel like I should mention this because in addition to good things I describe a few pretty negative things as feminine and that's because they are. Because most societies, especially 50s military society, want women to have traits such as passivity. Not because they're inherent to men and women.

So anyway, I'm just gonna dive right in. A lot of Hawkeye and Margaret's bickering in the first episode revolves around Hawkeye not being masculine enough. Margaret calls him a coward when he doesn't press forward through the shelling, Margaret gets angry when he can't fix the jeep ("How can a grown man be so mechanically incompetent?"), and she asks, "What kind of man are you?" in the next scene.

Hawkeye's attitude in return is wry self-awareness. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go into a mild panic," after the coward remark. Pretending to know what he's doing with the jeep with an exaggerated casualness ("Oh sure :) no problem :) I'll have this thing going in no time :)") before kicking it and then going "that's this right?" when she tells him to open the hood. Singing a jingle and joking that it's a civil war marching song and he's just trying to be military. And my favourite, Hawkeye's answer to Margaret's what kind of a man are you is, "Certainly not a serviceman," followed by, "There's a YMCA over here. Act like you got a moustache," and topped off with calling the hut he found "cute." There's also a moment where he is aware of something military (strategic significance of the hut), which surprises Margaret, and he pointedly downplays it by claiming he saw it in a movie.

My point being that the vibe is Margaret being consistently irritated that Hawkeye isn't performing a certain kind of military-flavoured masculinity, and Hawkeye knowing it and poking fun at her frustration. Margaret wants Hawkeye to be more military and more masculine in ways that go hand in hand, Hawkeye is resistant to that and plays up the opposite, both to bug her and because it's more genuine for him. He doesn't know how to fix a jeep, he is scared of bombs, he does cruise at YMCAs, etc

There's the fun scene with the debris and Hawkeye's injured leg, where they begin the sequence with Hawkeye on top of Margaret, shielding her, and Margaret mistaking Hawkeye's injury for an innuendo when he says he can't get off of her. Then they swap positions when Margaret examines and dresses the wound in his leg, complete with deliberate innuendo this time ("Margaret, there's no time for that now, look at my wound.") Which again, kinda highlights, advertantly or in, Hawkeye being more comfortable the less he has to conform to masculine standards. Not literally ofc, Hawkeye's obviously got no problem fucking women lmao, but as a joke that serves as a continuation of this gender role stuff I think it's fun and works well.

You can make a case that they start to get along when Margaret acts more accepting of Hawkeye's nonconformity. When Hawkeye says he's tough when he refuses morphine for the stitches and Margaret sarcastically says "uh huh," before he starts screaming. When Margaret opens up to him about the letter when he finally asks sincerely and Hawkeye listens and tries to be as genuinely supportive as he can. And when they start making out after Hawkeye commiserates with her about being scared and joins her in screaming his head off about the shelling.

The next morning this gets exaggerated in an interesting way. In the first half Margaret was outwardly tough and cold the majority of the time, insisting they drive through the shelling instead of running back where they came, checking the jeep herself, arming herself before going to bed. Even when telling Hawkeye about the letter, she insisted she was fine and that she prides herself on being able to adjust to anything. Hawkeye may not be masculine, but she is.

When they wake up, she's the opposite. Warm and affectionate, exaggerating her femininity in some ways (insisting on "making breakfast," fishing for compliments on her looks by being self-depricating, sudden passivity when they see a North Korean soldier and she irrationally insists they'll be fine and he won't come in), and emotionally "open" to the point of blatantly lying about or at least exaggerating how she feels (eg saying she loves his sense of humour after not getting a joke and before castigating him for making too many jokes a few scenes later).

She's playing an overly feminine role that doesn't suit her, but that she sees as the natural state of affairs for a man and a woman in a relationship, and she tries to shove Hawkeye into the appropriate type of masculine counterpoint. Most egregiously while treating him like one of her soldier boyfriends while she's panicking about being discovered ("Oh my brave soldier, you're wonderful, you're my inspiration," and, "I love to see a strong man who takes charge like that," lol), but also when she says she'll buy him a new shirt, assuming commitment and monogamy on his part, asking if he ever shaves ("Just my legs," says Hawkeye pointedly.)

Hawkeye is still Hawkeye - unmasculine, unmilitary, unable and unwilling to be the man Margaret invented for him. As he awkwardly goes along with it at first for whatever reason, he constantly looks like he's staring down a poisonous spider, and eventually he starts getting actively sarcastic in response.

Anyway, yadda yadda yadda, after an argument Margaret reverts back to her usual self and drops the feminized roleplaying, and when Hawkeye comes to her tent after the welcome back party, she finds a happy medium in genuine emotional openness, begun and encouraged by Hawkeye.

Essentially this episode explores Margaret's relationship with gender performance with Hawkeye as a counterpoint and, in the brief moments when they connect, mainly when they're screaming in terror together and in the last pre-tag scene, a parallel. Margaret starts off the episode as her usual masculine of centre, closed off, brusque self to Hawkeye's pointedly feminine-of-centre, emotionally open self. Halfway through, to Hawkeye's terrified bewilderment, she puts on a performance of femininity that doesn't reflect how she really feels, and in no way complements Hawkeye's gender expression, which isn't masculine enough to suit her and not saccharinely feminine enough to parallel her.

But at the end she finds she can still be herself, while adopting a little of Hawkeye's more healthy femininity in her newfound attempt to be emotionally open, and that's the place where she and Hawkeye click as friends. When they're sharing their feelings and commiserating and supporting each other. When she's not trying to be something she's not, and not trying to force or berate Hawkeye into being something he's not, and they can both just be a little gender non-conforming in their own ways that complement each other.

[rescue-ram]

God completely fixated on Pay Day rn

Because lost in the inflation over the last 70 years is just how much money is at stake. $3000 in 1950 is $38k of today's money. The median income in America was $3,300. Hawkeye and Trapper make $4962 a year, according to the pay mentioned in Dear Dad Three.

So not only does Hawkeye randomly get a ridiculous amount of money from Radar's paperwork tricks, which he then gives to Mulcahy for the orphans, he then steals that amount off the poker table from Trapper. I think the implication is everyone got carried away in a hot game and bet almost their entire pay packets, but that's a lot of money, definitely most of their pay, which Hawkeye just grabs and hands over to the accounting officer Sloan to get out of trouble.

Like this ep is one of the few genuine TrapHawk fights, both before when Hawkeye refuses to spot Trapper $50 bucks, then after Trapper is yelling at Hawkeye for stealing the pot, and it's like yeah, of course he would!! Insane moment really if you think about it.

[seefasters]

spektor anon writing back: I have a lot of favorite eps that i dont watch often cus theyre too intense or i want to give them my full attention, so the ones i return to usually are to idly listen to while formatting reports or doing artwork that is essentially mindless (I watched a significant chunk of MASH while doing inking on a very detailed 24ish page comic) idk what logic motivates what eps i tend to rewatch. Usually I like to return to ones that I feel have a lot of good monologues, conversations, or pranks. good character moments. ensemble eps. tbh thats most of them tho? I suppose anything with Flagg or Sidney I will return to again and again cus they're so goddamn funny

"carry on, hawkeye" is rlly good but has a later season equivalent that I like to rewatch a lot for a lot of reasons, although I know I just said that I sometimes avoid more intense ones: Bless You Hawkeye. obviously a flagship moment for Alan Alda's acting and for Sidney's character on the show, and a precursor to a lot of the conflicts and themes of GFA but the big thing for me that makes it comforting is just seeing everyone take Hawk's issue very seriously, prioritizing it and trying to be very proactive about it. part of the draw of mash is that they pretty much are always falling apart and never seem to have the capacity to take care of eachother the way they should- they lack resources, theyre in a constant state of life-or-death-overwork, they are flawed people: I don't think its a mistake that that level of care is lacking often, but its rlly comforting to see everyone willing and able to pretty much set aside all other responsibilities and just exclusively focus on someones needs for once. Shout out in particular to that moment in Potter's office when everyone crowds around him and physically holds him up- it looks like a renaissance painting and it made me cry like a little bitch when i first saw it. I think everyone wants that a little bit- to be given support like that when they all apart. I cant watch it while doing other things but ill put it on if im sick or feeling rlly low cus its cathartic. Other big ones off the top of my head that I rewatch casually for me are: -the bus (an all time favorite have a lot of thoughts on it) -An eye for a tooth (bj, hawk, and margaret <3) -rally around the flagg (i love it when flagg thinks ppl are communists) -Are you now margaret (flagg again! pranks! I like the idea that margaret had friends whose politics were less odiously "hooray america" than hers- maybe they can all reconnect and re-radicalize her after the war. Also shout out to a reckoning with how serious sa stuff is re: margaret. I cried in anger seeing it, it was very satisfying that the narrative framing took it seriously for once. since then ive cooled off and can just enjoy ppl protecting margaret. shout out to klinger in particular hes a real one and i like the closet bit) -run for the money (rlly good ep for everyone but of course charles in particular. rlly nice to see him in that light) -i forget the name but the ep when trap boxes ("HAWKeYe THIS GUY PUNCHeS JeePS")

idk the big recurring thing seems to be Mulcahey and Margaret spotlight episodes and anything with sidney and flagg.

hi spektor anon!!! i'm sorry it took me so long to answer 😭

flagg and sidney episodes are also ones i return to pretty frequently, but i feel like i need to be in a certain mood to watch a flagg episode (idk why lol)

bless you hawkeye is SUCH a fascinating choice to me because it's one of the episodes i tend to avoid due to how intense it is. the way you describe it is so sweet though, it is a really kind episode in that regard, the way they're all concerned about hawkeye is very comforting (and he deserves it lol)

those are all really great episodes too! run for the money is especially fun to me, i love a mulcahy-centric episode (especially when it gives him a good conflict. not necessarily true for run for the money specifically but for others)

[majorbaby]

ok so i'd asked because it was genuinely unclear to me but after a recent rewatch i think hawkeye and BJ's conversation has a few hints:

BJ: youre looking at a guy who fell off the fidelity wagon (idk im paraphrasing but it was an appropriately loserish prod boy line lol sometimes the stuff they make BJ say completely seriously...)

Hawkeye: i thought i heard a thump last night

And then later the conversation carrie and BJ have outside post op towards the end of the ep seems to be loaded with some sensuality. "Youre so close and youre so attractive" and "because you were sweet to me" and some of the lingering glances.

Anyway, they fucked.

[remnants]

hawkeye pierce my best friend my special guy he loves so hard and so much and settles for anything in return he's given away pieces of himself to so many people and he'll never ask for them back he's a hero he's a saint he's a martyr yet he thinks he's unworthy of prayer he thinks he's unworthy of respect the people he loves will take and take and there will be nothing left and he will still love them all the same

[wwinterwitch]

Hello, I really liked your Kate bishop fic, and I was wondering if I could request another with her? I was thinking of something along the lines of her liking the reader for a while already, but always thinking that she would never like her back, then maybe after her fight in ep 6 she shows up to the reader all hurt because she had nowhere to go for the night. And the reader then takes care of her and all her wounds, patches her up, and is all caring, tender and gentle with Kate, and amidst all of it Kate doesn't realize that she started crying? Because of all that already happened that night and this was the last straw because she wanted to be more? I just wanted to see Kate's vulnerable side explored a bit, and I think it would be a cute hurt/comfort idea, with them getting together at the end. Only if you want of course <3.

I absolutely loved this idea, it's so cute tysm for your request, hope you like it❤

⚠️This contains Hawkeye spoilers in case you haven't finished the series yet⚠️

SOMETHING MORE – KATE BISHOP

summary: kate had to get her ass kicked to finally tell you she likes you

pairing: kate bishop x gn!reader

word count: 2.5k

tw: mentions of injuries, angst, reader cleans kate's wounds, brief mentions of possible death, cursing

It was strange for someone to be buzzing your apartment bell this late, especially when you weren't expecting anyone to drop something off to you. Most likely someone had made a mistake and meant to buzz someone else, but you decided to check anyway just to make sure.

"Yes?" you asked through the little device installed at the entrance of your small apartment.

"Uh, it's me," you heard the voice of your best friend through the speaker. "Can I...can I come up?"

The sound of her voice let you know something was wrong. It didn't sound like the usual cheerful Kate you've known from most of your life, instead, she sounded...tired.

"Sure," you replied almost immediately, clicking a button to let her inside the building. Opening your front door, you waited until you saw her exciting the elevator. The sight of her was even more worrying than the sound of her voice. She was barely able to walk properly due to the visible pain she was in, holding onto her side, carrying her bow on her available hand. "Kate, what the hell happened to you?"

She hissed in pain when she stood in front of you, holding onto her left side of her chest even tighter. "Can I explain inside?"

You opened your mouth to say something, to tell her how are you supposed to wait even a second to hear what could've possibly happened that she ended up looking like this, but decided it was better to get inside before listening to the story. She looks like the needed to rest and get her wounds cleaned up before any of them gets infected.

Kate followed you inside and practically dropped on top of your couch, grunting at the pain she felt by falling so abruptly to it. You went to the kitchen to get whatever you had on your freezer to help with the pain on her chest. Her black and purple suit didn't look perforated in any way on that place, so you assumed it had to be swelling and that's what hurts so terribly.

As Kate began telling you everything that happened, you sat next to the couch on a chair so you could clean the wounds on her face. She told you all about this guy named Kingpin and his connections to her mom. This was evidently a whole surprise for you, not thinking Eleanor could be involved with people like the one Kate is describing to you.

Clint Barton was already someone familiar to you. Kate never seemed to stop talking about him, which only got worse when she met actually got to meet the guy. You already knew she has been working with him on something way too complicated for you to understand, but dangerous enough for you to at least try to be as involved as you could without getting dragged into any trouble. You worried Kate was getting herself into situations that were way out of her capacity, and tonight your worries seem to have been proven.

But yet again, not even Clint Barton would've predicted this whole situation to end up the way it did. If an Avenger couldn't see it coming, maybe you shouldn't expect Kate to know any better.

"I'm very sorry to hear about your mom," you commented once the story was apparently over. "It must've been hard for you to...you know, do what you did."

"It was the right thing to do," Kate replied, trying to remind herself she did what she was supposed to do. "She needs to take responsibility for her actions."

"And what happened with Clint Barton?"

"He's figuring some stuff about regarding something else, I guess. Maybe I call him tomorrow."

"You know I support you, Kate, but perhaps you need to take a break from all the Avenger-level disasters."

"Oh, believe me, I will," she sighed. "I just want to make sure he's okay."

"Well, at least this is all finally over," you tried. "Only thing left to do is remain optimistic, right?"

"Yeah. And hey, thank you for doing all of this," she replied, hinting to you immediately deciding to take care of her.

"Don't thank me for being a good friend, Kate. Now hold still...this might sting a little."

Kate did as told, not saying anything else. She couldn't help but thank you, because it really does mean a lot to have you there for her. It means way more than what you'll ever known. She doesn't see your help as just a friendly gesture because, even when it is coming from you, she's unable to see it in a strictly platonic way. She hoped she could see you the way you see her, but she can't do that when she has been in love with you for so long.

It wasn't a coincidence that she skipped a few details of the story, deciding to hide them from you just like she has been hiding what she truly feels fro you. Of course she wouldn't want you to know that the only thing she could think of the entire night was you. She was afraid of the worst, of Kingpin and his men taking her and Clint down, of Yelena actually killing Clint and leaving her all alone in this. She was afraid something terrible would happen and that she'd never get a chance to explain everything that happened. Not getting her chance to say goodbye. Of not ever at least trying to let you know she wants to be more than your best friend.

No. She'd never say something like that. Or...could she? Was her fight with Kingpin and the betrayal of her mom all enough for her to realize how she shouldn't take her time with you for granted? Could this whole experience be enough for her to realize that, in perspective, she has absolutely nothing to lose? She fought a mafia boss and his gang, surprisingly (sort of) befriended a Black Widow assassin and had the strength enough to put her own mom on jail on Christmas...but she's not able to tell you she likes you?

Whatever the possible answers to those questions were, she wasn't able to think of them because of the sudden discomfort she felt on her forehead due to the alcohol making contact with her open wound, forcing her to flinch.

"Hold still," you reminded her in a soft voice, using your free hand to hold her chin to keep her head as still as possible, continuing to clean her wound.

At that very moment Kate couldn't decide which hurts the most: the piece of cotton soaked in alcohol making contact with her wound, or the fact that you're holding her face so delicately, sitting so incredibly close to her as you're taking care of her, your incredibly beautiful eyes focusing only on her, making your top priority making sure she was okay.

You just took down the meanest, nastiest guy that could possibly exist and you're afraid to tell her you love her? she thought to herself. Does it take another nasty villain to attack New York for you to build up enough courage?

Kate flinches again, a mixture of physical pain from her wound and emotional pain from this frustration and inner discussion she's having with herself. Noticing her movement, you moved away and looked at her.

"You want to take a break?" you asked. You had already cleaned two of the wounds on her face, so maybe you thought she was in too much discomfort she needed to rest a little before continuing.

You sat to eat Mac' and Cheese with the blood-thisty vigilante! Hell, she even invited you to grab a couple drinks sometime! Why is this scarier than that?

"Kate, are you okay?"

She seemed to finally snap out of it, looking at you a little disorientated at first before gently nodding. "Yeah, I just...I don't know, maybe I'm a little tired."

"You want me to leave you rest for a minute?"

No, don't leave. Please don't leave.

"No, it's fine. It's fine."

"Are you sure?" you insisted.

Kate nodded again, so you continued cleaning the last wound she had on her face, making sure to be as gentle as you were with the previous injuries you just cleaned. During the whole time, Kate was unable to look at you, which you didn't necessarily mind or care, much more preoccupied in doing your job right.

She flinched again but you ignored it as you were almost done anyway. Once you cleaned every wound of her face, you moved away, grabbing the band aids to put on top of them.

"We're almost done, Kate," you muttered. "I just put this one last band aid and you can rest."

Already done, you put everything away in your first-aid kit and went back to check on Kate, noticing she was shifting to a sitting position on the couch, throwing the bag of frozen peas on the coffee table.

"You need me to get you something else for that?"

"No, it's fine. Doesn't hurt as much anymore."

You nodded, taking a seat on the chair you were previously sitting at. Kate tried to remove her bag of arrows (now completely empty) from her bag but stopped immediately as a sharp pain invaded her entire body. Quickly noticing her struggling, you removed it from her body and left it om the coffee table.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"There's really nothing to thank me for. With knowing you're here with me safe is more that enough."

Kate felt her heart shattering into million pieces. She tried to smile, but you could tell she wasn't happy at all. How could she be happy on a situation like this? How could she, when she's such a coward for never telling you what you really mean to her?

She's far from happy. She can't be happy when she has you in her life, but not in the way she'd want it. Not when she's safe with you, but not really with you.

Before she even realizes it, tears start streaming down her face and she completely breaks down. Is she crying because she's finally snapping from the terror of facing Wilson Fisk? Is she crying because she already misses her mom? Is she crying because her entire body is on fire and she feels so much pain, or is it because is just so painful not being able to tell you she loves you like she was never loved anyone in her life?

The answer is yes to everything. She's a sobbing mess because everything is so wrong. Maybe she's even crying for the good things, like the fact that she's still alive. Kate just had so much inside of her that the emotions were too much to handle, having to allow herself to be vulnerable for once.

She was scared, she was happy, she was tired. She was with you, but felt so lonely at the same time. The mixed feelings were too overwhelming for her to pretend to be in control.

"Hey, it's okay," you reassured her, standing up from your seat to join her on the couch, carefully wrapping an arm around her to avoid hurting her.

"No. No it's not," she sobbed, letting out a sarcastic chuckle. "I almost died today because I decided to play superhero, my mom turned out to be a very terrible person and my whole body just...fucking hurts. And I feel so incredibly stupid because...because I had to get my ass brutally kicked to realize I can't keep pretending to be your friend when all I've ever wanted is to be more than that!"

You froze in your spot, looking at her in complete disbelief after what she said. It looks like even Kate was surprised she was even able to confess such thing to you.

"What?"

"Sorry for dropping that bomb on you like it was nothing. I guess after everything that has happened tonight I couldn't hold it in any longer."

"I– I just never realized..."

"This is so embarrassing," she muttered, avoiding to look back at you, wiping the tears away from her face. "Look, I'm exhausted. I'd appreciate it if you friend zone me tomorrow after I get some sleep."

"No, that's not– I mean, I was going to say that I feel the same way."

Kate blinked in amusement, not knowing what to say. "What– what do you...what?"

You chuckle at her stuttering. "I like you too, idiot."

"I...didn't see that coming," she says in utter disbelief, still not entirely sure if she even heard you correctly. "So, like...you like me like me?"

"Exactly."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Fair enough," she nodded. "I can't believe this is actually happening. I really thought you didn't see me in that way. I mean, how could I've known? Or maybe–"

At this point you had lean slightly closer to her but she was way too preoccupied rambling to even notice. "Kate?" you called.

She finally realized how close you were, her expression suddenly showing how incredibly nervous she got by your proximity. "Y-yes?"

"Shut up."

Right after those words left your mouth, your lips crashed against Kate's in a much awaited kiss. Even when she'd want to kiss you much fiercely than she is right now, her body was in so much pain she had to keep herself under control for now. You were incredibly sweet with her, kissing her as gently as you could to avoid hurting her. You wanted this moment to be enjoyable for the two of you.

Moving away from your kiss, you noticed Kate couldn't hide her smile. It was as if all her problems were solved right there. For a moment, she managed to even forgot all that has happened in the last few hours. All because she gets to be with the person she loves.

"How about we go get some rest and tomorrow we talk more about...whatever this is?" you suggested, knowing Kate seriously needed to lay down.

"Sounds good."

You helped her stood up, going to your kitchen to put the peas back in the frozen before following Kate to your bedroom. You helped her get her shoes off and got her much comfortable clothes to sleep it. You figured she needed a shower too, but it was very late and probably she's too tired for that right now. You'd gladly help her tomorrow with all of that, knowing she still will be in a lot of pain.

You lay down next to her on your bed, deciding not to cuddle her to avoid hurting her due to her injuries. She got comfortable in a position she liked and almost immediately closed her eyes, unbelievably tired from all the fighting she went through. Not wanting to disturb her, you gently kissed her forehead before you closed your eyes too, sleeping better than ever knowing that Kate (who's not longer "just your friend Kate") was sleeping next to you.

[oitommothetease]

Run

Pairing: Maya Lopez x Female reader 

Word Count: ⁓ 900 words

Description: Maya asks you to run away with her.

Warning: hawkeye spoilers, this is sorta based after ep 6, established relationship, smut, a bit of angst?, fluff?

A/N: I got tired of going through the empty Maya tags so I wrote this little thing for myself lol

You shuddered, raking your fingers in Maya's hair as her mouth lapped onto your sex while her fingers relentlessly worked inside you. She had let her hair down today, you noticed. Every morning before leaving for work, Maya would come and sit on the kitchen stool and hand you a hairbrush, indicating you to braid her hair. And you would gently smile and kiss her on the head as you lightly ran your fingers through her hair. You loved these little moments with your girlfriend so much that you carried a hair tie around your wrist just for her. 

You liked running your hands in her hair even more when she worked you over and over again until you were a babbling mess. But after your first orgasm, you realized that something was different. She wanted to delve into your most intimate part not to cherish and show you her love—no, she wanted to forget something that day. You didn't know what that something was, you weren't allowed to ask. But you had a clue — you had seen the news, and you were also aware of the kind of people she worked with. It didn't take long for you to connect the dots. 

As Maya ushered you out of your thoughts and into a haze as she brought you closer to your release once again. You arched your head, your body instinctively moving away from her tight grip around your hip, but Maya knew your body better. She felt every vibration and every movement of your body—your rising chest, the shiver that ran across your spine, your heartbeat. She knew your limit, and that was why she didn't relent. 

Lapping onto your clit in a movement that she knew would have you coming instantly, she inserted another finger. Maya made you see stars on the ceiling of a small apartment in New York, and in that moment, you believed in magic. If you weren't so out of it, you would've realized she intended that when she walked into your apartment that night. She wanted you to be a little out of it—she wanted your compliance as she broke down the decision she was making for you—both of you and your future. 

Once you were all cleaned and settled in bed, Maya brought your blissed out body near her, settling your head on her chest as she wrapped you around her. You hummed in relief as she soothingly ran her hand across your spine—fingers so tender and calm that it brought you closer to the land of dreams. 

You felt her looking at you, so you gazed up at her, and she instantly took her hands out of to communicate. 

“We will leave this place tomorrow,” She signed, swallowing the fear of refusal looming over her head. 

“You mean this apartment?” You asked, hoping that she didn't mean what you thought she did. Maybe she was asking you to move in with her, you consoled yourself.

“No, this city. I have made arrangements for us outside.”

You had so many questions. You wanted to ask about your work—you wanted to ask whether you both could even afford moving away— you wanted to ask about your friends and family in the city. And Maya was preparing herself for that, she had all the answers to the worries you could possibly have. But you asked the one thing she didn't expect. “What happened out there tonight, baby?”

Maya's eyes widened a bit, your question clearly took her by surprise. She blinked a few times as she tried to scare away the tears the way she did with people. It didn't work. Instinctively, you placed a hand on her cheek, thumb sweeping under her eye and ridding her face of the wetness. Your girlfriend sighed, nuzzling in your warm hold, and she held your wrist lightly, craning her head to place a kiss on the inside of your palm.

Maya was a lot of things including a killer, but she wasn't a liar, especially when it came to you. So she answered honestly. “I lost someone important to me tonight. I can't let that happen again.”

She dipped her chin in agitation, hoping that you understood how terrified she was of losing you. She knew she couldn't vocalize what she felt, but even if she could, no words could comprehend her fear. Even in death, Kingpin would haunt Maya, and she wanted to take you away from all of this.

You were always going to be in danger as long as you stayed with her. Both of you knew that but none of you wanted to admit and lose the other. And you also knew that one day, the skeletons in her closet will catch up to you and ruin both of you. But that night, you decided to pretend like all of that was false. Like you were a naïve little girl in love, unaware of the monsters looming in the dark. 

“Let's get out of this place.” you nodded, a smile tugged at the corner of your mouth and Maya pulled you towards her, pressing your lips against her in a languid kiss.

And as you fell asleep in your lover's arms, you just wished that the next place you found yourself in would be devoid of the horrors from her past.

⁓⁓

TAGS: @bubblespeare @bananapipedreams​

[alter-koker]

carry on hwkeye is my fave ep i think!!<3 prob because of the "your bette davis im george brent" part.... also i love houlihwak and i think its one of their best episodes??? comrades in arms nvr happened.

i agree entirely anon, and ive actually watched so many old movies since i first watched mash that i actually get that reference now! the main thing i love about the episode is the rapport between hawkeye and margaret and the fact that it's in a season where they normally wouldn't be hanging out with each other like that, so it's like u get the best of both worlds- the early season slapstick comedy and charm AND the margaret hawkeye friendship. while i am not a houlihawk person per se i support it especially since they have this long and complicated history, (i mean they were the only two characters who were in both the pilot and the finale!) and it's gratifying to know that even houlihawk fans don't like comrades in arms. a terrible occurrence.

^ plus we get the greatest face alan alda makes in all of mash

[blue-ravens]

Thoughts on the life you save maybe?

oh FUCK okay. that gifset earlier really unleashed more shrimp emotions and you're about to get them. and i'm going to warn you now the second i get that script in the post i'm going to be obnoxiously unstoppable.

when you have a character like charles in this show, that more or less served as the foil to the main character, that was the b plot antagonist, the character that lived to be brought down a few pegs for comedic effect, and then you turn around and give him character beats like this episode, it's a risky bet. his arc over the last six seasons could have paralleled that of frank in the first five, little depth, the punching bag, the personification of what the show was pointing and laughing at.

but

somewhere along the line you start getting little tiny glimpses at the man behind the curtain. before you've even realised it, suddenly he's a little more... human. and the thing about that is, we as the audience seem to be the only ones who get to see that. which i think is a great writing choice (if it were ever deliberate), because it really does speak to how aloof and emotionally distanced and separate in most senses he is as a character to the rest of them. the whole thing with the accent just cements it, that was an insane acting choice that didn't have to be made but *was*. so up until this point you get teeny tiny little hints about who he really is as a person compared to the performances he puts on for everyone else, and oh my god he's grown on you, right? by this point in the showmhe's so much more than the insufferable asshole that arrived in s6.

(going to put the rest under a cut cos this just went places)

and in this ep.... so much of it happens in front of us and no one else. when he finds the bullet holes in his cap, no one else in the room notices. the conversation with the soldier, bj DOES notice this but he catches only part of it and then proceeds to yell at him for being ghoulish later on. margaret can see something's wrong and attempts to reach out but ends up yelling at him for fidgeting with the cap he won't stop carrying around. potter all but dismisses it. i think it was said in another post that the choices of who interacted with him was very pointed and deliberate. not having hawkeye or mulcahy (no one mentioned sidney the entire episode which i feel is seriously telling) try was something i didn't realise until then, because that, narratively, would have pointed the episode in the same direction as many of the episodes with a similar theme would have gone, and for charles that would not have worked.

the part that sticks out at me, though, is the monologue with the jeep. rizzo being the silent observer while pulling the thing apart while charles sits in it, cap in hand, talking about death and being unable to put people back together like a jeep, and you have to just think that if it were you hearing those things being said, what the hell would you do. someone said the words passively suicidal, and i think that's the perfect way to describe it. like, what he says to potter on the phone, would that not concern you to a degree that something is seriously wrong? would that be so easy to dismiss and let run it's course? and i've said so before, but it'd be interesting to know what actually happened after that phone call, and what happened after he left the aid station, and what happened after and after and after but we don't get that. the story ends and that's really how it goes. it's clear that IF sidney was brought up that there'd be little chance charles would be willing to sit down and have that resolution, because we know from earlier there's a lot of trauma for him concerning psychiatry from a young age. and AGAIN that's a thing only WE know. and while it's not stated clearly the two things (the loss of his brother, being sent to a whole chorus line of psychiatrists at the age of 8, and this, i suppose you can say, relapse) are inextricably linked.

and it's never addressed again!

i can't stop thinking about how it's never brought up again. it ends, and that's where it ends. and if there's one thing about this show, it's that trauma never ends, it's always present, like a secondary character. and what i think stands out MOST is that he's the only one carrying it. most of everything they go through is shared weight between them all, but i guess with him coming from a place where burdens and deep dark secrets are carried alone without complaint or protest that that wasn't ever going to change overnight. and the the show must go on, same as it ever was. the closing shot of the hat being left at the aid station is some kind of closure for the episode itself, but we all know it's really not.

(i think i'd have to veer off a sec and make a comparison with what happens in gf&a, because it's the breakdown you do not see coming. the storyline is so subtly paralleled (see also 'dreams', but that's another essay entirely) with that of hawkeye's. in hawk's case it's the one you see coming a mile away. it's outward, it's dramatic, it's very public and everyone stops what they're doing and steps in in their own way. in charles' case... it sneaks up on you. you're distracted, and it takes you by surprise. and you're the only one who sees it. kellye was the only one present when he finds out about the musicians, but after that, nothing more is said by anyone else. the fact he stands up in front of everyone at the farewell dinner and says what he says, and no one even remarks on it. he has never told anything so personal and painful to that many people before. that was the saddest part of the whole episode for me, it really was. it was as if his continual decision to remain detached and removed from everyone paid off in the worst way possible, no one could see past the polished exterior he fought so hard to present at all times to notice the broken, flawed and the very human person who needed so much help behind it.)

there really wasn't much actually going on in the episode itself but it added so much to literally everything we really knew about his character. we know he lost a brother as a child. we know that he's so very close to and so VERY protective of his younger sister, we know that he's so very concerned with how he's perceived and living up to every insane and impossible expectation put upon him and worrying about falling short and being less than perfect at every turn. we know how hard it will be for him to actually come to terms and properly deal with what happened to him before and what's currently happening to him. we know how isolated and remote his childhood was. WE know this. but no one else does. and how it ends... he knows NOW what he's going back to. he does, and we do. the world's a beast of a burden and all those little things sprinkled here and there throughout the show, it adds up, and this episode, i think, just gives us all some indication how heavy that burden is.

i suppose you can say, this episode was a risk that paid off in so many ways. it was deliciously acted, written, and directed, and every second of it was utterly compelling. it wasn't an attempt to make him pitiable, it just really brings into focus how much of a three dimensional and more real character he grew to be.

[madam-o]

Hawkeye 1x01/02 (minor spoilers)

So I'm enjoying this show a lot but I understand that desire that some people are feeling for something "more" that it's not quite giving us. The tone is a bit confused for me. There's some melancholy stuff going on in the background and perhaps not enough humor and action to lift the mood. Like, it seems really messed up to me that people are already "over" the invasion and the Blip to the point that a musical about the attack on NY isn't considered in serious poor taste and people are just casually writing grafitti saying "Thanos was right." I mean, I'm not wrong am I? That's severely fucked up considering that the attack must've cost the lives of many New Yorkers and the Blip basically destroyed, uh, everything and heavily impacted life on Earth (and everywhere else).

But maybe that's the point. Clint isn't past any of this but the world just seems to keep moving on like it's all no big deal. He isn't enjoying his status of hero, second fiddle or not. I just want him to be able to fly home and hide from everyone. He has zero fun for most of the first two eps, with a possible begrudging exception of the LARP. His chemistry with Hailee's Kate Bishop is stellar, though.

And Hailee Steinfeld truly carries her weight here. She's charming, funny, and looks like a lesbian teen idol. Such a dreamboat in her outfits, honestly. I like what she's doing with the role, I just want the scripts to have a bit more punch for her. There's some good secondary characters and stuff going on, but nothing GREAT or thrilling yet.

And that musical? Painfully true to how modern day Broadway would memorialize real superheroes. That song was absolutely dismal and 100% accurate to current Broadway style. I dunno if that's a good thing or not, frankly. I'm just like Thanks, I hate it.

[marley-manson]

I go on a lot about BJ's flaws because they're what make him interesting to me, but I gotta say I love to view Hawkeye, especially with regards to his relationship with BJ, as like... what's the right word? Stubborn? Judgemental? Take-charge (in a way that incidentally doesn't negate him being subby in bed but rather makes it a more interesting dynamic lol)? Demanding?

He leads and he automatically expects his friends to follow, and if they don't he'll make his judgy displeasure known. He's extremely empathetic towards people as a general rule but a typical exception is when they're his close friends and they go against his judgement or fail to meet his expectations.

Based on how I perceive Hawkeye's character as a whole, I would actually sum it up as Hawkeye getting a little irrationally upset when he's ignored as a presence, someone who has an effect in his friends lives.

I'm thinking of The Bus when BJ wants to include Frank in a conversation and Hawkeye snaps at him for it; or Hawkeye watching BJ standing politely for Margaret in The Gun and giving him a very pointed disapproving look; or the way he initiates his appendix scheme in Preventative Medicine without consulting with BJ at all, just assuming he'll go along with it; or the way BJ is able to goad him about the joke by not laughing at it in Dear Uncle Abdul; or the way Hawkeye gets upset when BJ doesn't join him in his outrage in Give Em Hell Hawkeye; or the way he accuses BJ of not being loyal in The Most Unforgettable Characters, or Commander Pierce even (though I think the latter ep is ooc in many ways, aspects do potentially fit this take on Hawk.)

Or, for non-BJ examples, arguably trying to convince Carlye to divorce her husband for him; getting mad at distant childhood friends when they don't humour his paranoia about his nightmares in Hawk's Nightmare; his judginess towards Borelli in The Consultant when he fails to live up to Hawkeye's first impression of him; there's a little moment in Private Charles Lamb where Trapper interrupts Hawkeye mid-joke and Hawkeye gives him such an irritated look lol...

And of course it's all largely a function of his role as a protagonist with very strong opinions: the anti-authority attitude as a cornerstone of the show, and the way he's almost always the one who initiates and takes the lead in the show's plotlines. And it informs his two closest relationships on the show, with Trapper and BJ both as followers to his leader.

There are plenty of examples of him following another's lead as well, since he's not someone who particularly cares about being in charge of anything - Carry On Hawkeye, his indifference to being Chief Surgeon in Chief Surgeon Who, Twas the Day After Christmas where he's completely checked out and doesn't care at all about the authority roleswap, his usual respect for Potter, BJ masterminding a few pranks, etc. It's not about needing to be an authority figure or being unable to switch to a more supportive role when the situation calls for it.

It's about needing to affect people, imo. It goes along with his urge to entertain, to be seen, to be enjoyed as a spectacle, because he too easily feels invisible as part of the army (The Interview). It fits his tirade against the army wanting them to blend into the background in fatigues, in Peace on Us. It works as the source of his outrage when his things are used without permission (Picture This, Follies of the Living with the clothes peg).

I'd say he hates being disagreed with, dismissed, ignored, or misunderstood to a somewhat irrational extent because it feels like being unseen, invalidated, invisible. Being stuck in the army, in a situation totally outside his control where he's viewed by the higher authorities as just a number definitely exacerbates it, but I think it's a part of his core personality.

Honestly, to get a little interestingly weird with it, I could even believe that part of the appeal of being a surgeon for him is the physical impact on people - the proof when he saves a leg or a life that he had his hands in someone and changed them. He does canonically use pretty unique and recognizable sutures after all.

This is mostly a headcanony take since I don't necesssarily think these nuances are really intended lol, and there are definitely plenty of moments that don't fit this vibe since Hawkeye is fairly well-rounded as a character and person overall. Sometimes he's more easy going and chill. It's more just me tying some patterns together in a way that I think makes sense with Hawkeye's character and the way he embodies the 'acting out in a warzone' theme.

And I don't think it's all flaws either - Hawkeye's force of personality is usually a virtue in the show. He does a lot of good with his refusal to back down, and his impact on people is probably pretty positive overall. If he inspires others to rebel more, question authority, be more true to themselves, be more openly emotional, etc, I think that's great.

But like, it's also kind of fucked up as an interpersonal dynamic, particularly with a more passive best friend who seems to often resent how much limelight Hawkeye takes up, and particularly in the army environment I think Hawkeye's urge to make himself seen, understood, and agreed with becomes pronounced to a pretty offputting degree at times. It leads to a very one-sided dynamic between him and his two best friends which imo is very interesting to explore.

[dailywilliams]

“Why did Agatha say she couldn't bring the real Pietro from another continent? like... didn't they bring Pietro's body over to the compound? Wasn't he in a ship with Hawkeye? Did they really just left him there?”

Hawkeye carried Pietro onto the transport shuttle (which was revealed to have been provided by S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Coulson) after the events in Sokovia. It’s likely that they had the body buried either in a local (Sokovian) cemetery or in a cemetery near the Avengers compound since that was officially Wanda’s new residence. Given how deeply undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. is after the events of The Winter Soldier, it’s doubtful that the shuttles had a passenger log. Agatha had no reason to believe the Avengers brought Pietro’s body with them. The fact that he might be buried in Sokovia or her belief that the body was left in Novi Grad as it was disintegrated could be the reason for her comment on bringing it from another continent.

I get it but my point is... Wouldn't Agatha know that? Like why wouldn't she know that Pietro is near the compound? (she seems to know a lot anyway) I don't think Wanda would have buried Pietro somewhere far away from her (unless she didn't have a choice?) it doesn't makes sense, specially now that Agatha kinda implied that Evan's character is a random person? (Not even related to the x men universe?) Nothing makes sense at this point, all this "he is Pietro but not really" talk on the show seems pretty random, I hope we get more info in ep 9.

[seefasters]

Spektor anon wondering. What are u favorite mash eps to rewatch and why? (Not just your favorites but the ones you keep on coming back to?)

hiii spektor anon! that's a really good question omg

"carry on, hawkeye" is one that i rewatch every time i'm sick, like every single time, it's a bit of a tradition at this point

and the mash episodes i usually go for when i want to rewatch are generally ones on the comforting side? just bc if i rewatch mash it's probably because i need a pick me up or i just want to hang out with my friends in the tv

so i think my go to eps are: a war for all seasons, bulletin board, movie tonight, (weirdly) deluge and crisis, and peace on us

would love to hear yours!!

[cauldronofmorning]

What are your top s1-3 eps?

AI’ll put the ones you haven’t seen yet near the bottom! This is chronological order: (and plenty of cute comfort episodes, but I’ll stick to quality)

1. Yankee Doodle Doctor. Yeah it’s more cute and comfort, but Trapper and Hawkeye dance together, Trapper is protective of Hawkeye, the director has a crush on Hawkeye (which is just really funny considering part of why Alda got the role is he was pretty and flamboyant) and Hawkeye’s little speech is underrated.

2. Sometimes You Hear The Bullet. The bi! The unambiguous gay as hell shit with Tommy! the angst and the guilt and the lovely Henry!

3. Showtime: “it’s nice you can smile in Korean” I weep.

4. Radar’s Report: Trapper’s storyline is messed up and I mean that in the most appreciative way possible, and Hawkeye thinking of marriage as a disease but falling for the idea of it, mwah.

5. Dr Pierce Dr Hyde: *cries* also so much good character stuff, for Hawkeye of course and Trapper, and seeing that he and Henry look after Hawkeye because they know he’s heading for a breakdown gives Late Captain Pierce beautiful heartbreaking context.

6. Kim: I love that Alan Alda sneaks in a kiss to Wayne Rogers’ cheek, I love that Trapper cracks open the emotional shell a bit only to reel it right in again when mom comes back, I love that this camp is the sweetest to kids.

7. Carry On Hawkeye. PEGGING SCENE ASIDE, it’s a lovely one for Hawkeye and Margaret’s friendship with pegging, doesn’t get a snapback (would they have helped her in Hot Lips and Empty Arms if that’d happened first), and the gender stuff with Hawkeye being Margaret’s housewife? mwah.

8. Hot Lips and Empty Arms: hot take that Loretta Swit is the only one who can do funny drunk consistently well, but my wife gets an episode! and Hawkeye is in love with Trapper, though we already knew that.

----------------EPISODES YOU HAVEN’T SEEN YET AND SO I WON’T DETAIL

9. Mail Call, 10. OR, 11, Check Up (though fuck off with the fatphobic b-plot show, Swit and Alda later are beanpoles and you’re making me feel bad), 12. Alcoholics Unanimous, 13.  Adam’s Ribs, 14. Mad Dogs and Servicemen, 15. Bulletin Board, 16. The Consultant, 17. Aid Station, 18. Abyssina Henry

[atamascolily]

lily watches fma:b, eps. 37-40

I can only watch 2 episodes at a time because I keep having to pause and write angry screeds in a text document. I suppose this is what is called “engaging with the source material” in media studies.

Cut for extreme length and also me ranting about Hohenheim because FUCK THAT DUDE. Also, worldbuilding stuff I don’t understand.

Ed reciting the periodic table to get his mind off his boner for Winry is just perfect.

Meanwhile, Winry's nerding out over combat automail and Kimblee's just sippin' his coffee watching the whole thing

Kimblee got Winry to like him by saying he admired her parents, argghhh

Pride is revealed to be Selim Bradley and harasses Hawkeye because he's a little shit... also it conveniently allows Buccaneer's tunnel team to escape. Why is Pride simultaneously in Central AND Briggs? I guess we'll find out.

Hawkeye going home and seeing her shadow and realizing just how fucked they are is PERFECT.

Kimblee tells Ed he'll give him a Philosopher's stone if Ed helps him find Scar and Marcoh and finish the job at Briggs (i.e., kill everyone to make a stone). Ed asks--very reasonably, I might add--why Kimblee is going along with the homunculi and his answer is basically "for the lulz". (Oh, and they let him kill people instead of locking him up for war crimes.)

(although I'd argue the homunculi only let him do so when it's personally convenient; they have no qualms about keeping his ass in jail otherwise)

(also: please note kimblee ISN'T in jail for war crimes against Ishval, he's in jail because he murdered some Amestrisian guards so no one would know he has a Philosopher's Stone.)

Ed's like, "so Winry, you're a hostage for my good behvior and I might have to comnit mass murder, fyi" AT LEAST HE FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO TELL HER

love how winry forces her way into the convoy and kimblee just goes with it because he's too busy to argue.

(meanwhile, the end credits still have her at the atelier in Rush Valley, lol)

Yoki's flashback in the 1920s film style is HILARIOUS (if biased) account

Scar and Kimblee face off. I'm reminded of the 2003 anime where iirc Scar sacrifices himself to utterly destroy Kimblee halfway through. no such luck here.

I'm still not happy that Scar killed Winry's parents in this version. It was much more interesting when it was the Amestrisian military--specifically, Roy Mustang, one of the so-called good guys.

(It's not that it was morally okay for Scar to kill the doctors who saved his life--or anyone--just because of their race but it's a whole 'nother ballgame when the murder cover-up for a military dictatorship and the perpetrator is a character the audience has come to root for vs. misguided revenge)

What IS interesting here is Scar confronting Miles, asking him how he can serve in the same institution that killed his family. Miles says he's trying to change minds from the inside; Scar is highly skeptical but claims to be glad there are people like Miles in this world (who aren't so consumed by hatred and grief that they can do that kind of work, instead of becoming a vigilante).

one of Miles' troopers has a backpack that's a phone. Okay... WHAT? I guess if they have automail they can have extremely bulk cellphones, but... I don't understand the tech in this world.

brief detour for Al to lecture the chimera prisoners, okay

Yoki actually has a good idea for once!

I don't understand the chimeras saying they want their bodies back - it seems like they can shift from human to their other form and back (they do it a few minutes later) so... I get that they've been experimented upon and it's horrible, but they're not quite in the same desperate straits as Al, who doesn't have a body at all, or Nina Tucker *sob*. Or am I missing something obvious here??

...okay, I think they were moved to DIFFERENT human bodies than their original forms? It's kind of unclear from context.  

Just as I was admiring Winry's piercings for the bajillionth time, a random dude tells her they'll cause frostbite so she takes them out and gives them to Ed as a token. And probably also so Kimblee will suspect the ruse later if/when he notices that detail.

Scar's like, "man, why'd I have to kill the FAMOUS doctors, sigh"

Al has a vision of his body and it's SO FREAKING CREEPY, YO (I like the detail that his nails are really long)

Cut to Father playing with little mini versions of Ed and Al on a transmutation circle in his lair OH YEAH THAT'S CREEPY - he needs 5 people to complete the circle. Ed, Al, and Hohenheim are each little skull-people, Izumi is "a possibility," and that leaves one more... probably Roy.

I love Hawkeye and Roy's verbal codes, Roy hitting on Olivier, Olivier straight up admitting to Bradley she offed Raven, Roy's apparent shift into the flower business, etc, etc.

TIME FOR A FLASHBACK.FINALLY SOME EXPLANATORY BACKSTORY.

Okay, so we meet Slave 23 in an alchemy lab - his master used his blood to make a creepy blob in a flask that is talking to him and names said slave "Van Hohenheim" (because he didn't want to be "Theophrastus Bombastus", lol.) There's a time skip and Hohenheim becomes a skilled apprentice alchemist thanks to the blob's interference and education.

Note: I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT ALL OF THIS. Also, WHY.

(but let's be real, I am distracted by the fact that young!Hohenheim, like old!Hohenheim, is extremely hot.)

The King of Xerxes summons the blob to ask it about immortality. I can already tell this is going to end well.

The blob tells the King the secret - cut to laborers digging a giant circular "irrigation canal". also, people start dying in coordinated attacks at specific geographic points just like in amestris.

I still don't understand how this works, though. In the 03 version, you just need a bunch of people to die all at once aftermaking a few preparations. It was city-scale, not country-scale.

also apparently, there's been a time skip because Hohenheim is significantly older than before (his job is to carry the blob in its flask around, I guess?). He's so excited about the immortality thing yet seems to have NO IDEA what it entails.

The blob made the actual center of the circle where Hohenheim was standing so everyone else dies. I'm not sure how that works because it's only a few meters off--is it really that precise?--but okay, whatever, sure.

Also, the blob regards Hohenheim as "blood kin" because it was made from his blood and... it's not WRONG.

the gate opens, the flask is shattered, Hohenheim is now immortal, and everyone in Xerxes is dead, and... Hohenheim was totally an innocent bystander who just HAPPENED to be caught up in it all?

not gonna lie: I'm not thrilled about this development.

I preferred the 03 version where Hohenheim was actively a bodysnatching jackass who decided to DO BETTER BY NOT DOING THAT. somehow the fact that he ends up immortal without trying here just sticks in my craw.

oh, no, but this means that HE KNOWS EVERYONE IN HIS PHILOSOPHER'S STONE PERSONALLY, DOESN'T HE? AHHHHHH

Father takes on Hohenheim's human form because they have the same blood and it's convenient?(also:hot, though I doubt the blob is interested in sex appeal.)

Father: Isn't it great? immortality, amirite? Hohenheim: *through gritted teeth* Thanks, I hate it.

Father and Hohenheim each got half of Xerxes' population, aka half the power.

turns out this was all a dream-flashback and Hohenheim is actually asleep on a train in the present and Izumi wakes him up.

have they met before? signs point to no because Hohenheim doesn't seem to know her. I'd ask how Izumi recognized him, but Hoheheim looks JUST LIKE ED so it's not like it's *hard*.

most awkward parent-teacher conference ever? but actually izumi starts coughing up blood and Hohenheim realizes she's performed human transmutation and opened a gate and uses alchemy to help her.

he can't restore the lost organs (I'm not sure WHY not - he has a philosopher's stone, that's like the whole point) but it helps.

AND THEN HE JUST COMES OUT AND SAYS HE'S A PHILOSOPHER'S STONE IN HUMAN FORM, ARRGGHH, WHYYYYYY, I don't get why he can't just fix her!!

sig decks hohenheim and I'm so thrilled, even if it doesn't actually take. THANK YOU SIG, I LOVE U.

Also: if Hohenheim had stuck around, he could have healed Trisha and she probably wouldn't have died and his sons would never have lost their bodies trying to bring her back, so FUCK YOU HOHENHEIM, THIS IS LITERALLY ALL YOUR FAULT. (And apparently, the homunculi are too, at least indirectly). FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

[wits-writing]

Earth’s Mightiest Retrospective Ep 12: “Gamma World Pt. I”

(Directed by Vinton Heuck, Written by Michael Ryan, Original Airdate: November 26, 2010)

What stuck out to me about this episode is how atmospheric it is throughout. There’s a greater focus in this episode on shadows, angles and how characters are placed in the frame that wasn’t always there in previous episodes. Part of it might be down to the environment most of the episode takes place in being the gamma-irradiated for supervillain prison the Cube. What’s going on with the facility carries on from the cliffhanger of last episode, with a green dome of gamma energy emanating from it and turning anyone inside into a Hulk-like monster. The source of this dome comes from the machinations of the hyper-intelligent nemesis of the Hulk, Samuel Sterns (aka, The Leader). As the threat the dome expanding presents becomes apparent, SHIELD calls in the Avengers to deal with it, minus Hank Pym who’s chosen to stay in Wakanda studying vibranium.

The heroes are met outside the dome by SHIELD agents and former head of research at the Cube, Doc Samson, now empowered by gamma-radiation himself since the last time we saw him. Being made aware of the full extent of the situation and given protective suits to wear in the dome, the Avengers venture forth to stop the Leader’s schemes.

Multiple problems arise for the team in all at once, including the previous SHILED agents sent in now turned into monsters and the gamma-powered supervillains using the Cube as a base to help the Leader. The claustrophobic, dark setting of the former super-prison mixed with the green fog permeating the scene are key to how strikingly this episode makes its dilemma feel so overwhelming. It’s a mood the episode doubles down on when the villains the heroes are fighting reveal they aren’t trying to defeat the team, but instead damage their protective suits into no longer functioning. First seen when the Wasp’s suit breaks, the gamma energy turning her into a literal wasp-creature.

Throughout the mission, it’s clear that even after as many missions as they’ve been on together the teams still not fully united. When Iron Man asks for volunteers to be the first to test their gamma-proof suits, Captain America tells him “leaders lead” to prompt Tony to go in. Later, as they start being overwhelmed by the monstrous supervillains inside the Cube, Black Panther decides to go off on his own to find the source of the gamma-dome. This ends up leaving them in a situation where the most team is overwhelmed by villains along with the infected Wasp, so Thor and Samson (the only two immune to the gamma dome) go to find the dome’s source only to be confronted with a rematch against the Wrecking Crew, gifted with a power boost by the Leader. The thunder god is nearly at the point of being completely overwhelmed by the Crew, when Panther comes in at the last second to disable the machine generating the dome and reversing all its effects.

However, before the Avengers were pulled into the dire situation at the Cube, they were chasing down another escapee from the mass supervillain breakout, Hawkeye. This episode and the next are the first time in the series we’ve really gotten a spotlight on the archer hero/former-SHIELD agent. He’s shown able to deal with the Avengers in the episode’s cold-open by out-maneuvering them rather than outfighting them before finally managing to escape from them to continue his personal mission. In his efforts to track down Black Widow, the one who framed him in the first place, he ends up at a Hydra weapons facility in New York City where she’s selling Hulk’s blood to Madame Hydra. Breaking into the facility and managing to take down their operations before fighting Widow add on to how this subplot builds up Hawkeye. He manages to finally capture Widow for himself and tells her he plans on taking her to the Avengers rather than SHIELD, an organization neither of them can trust at this point.

The episode ends by reminding us that it was a part one, with the Leader, alongside the Abomination and Absorbing Man, discussing how the “test-run” at the Cube went before activating another gamma-dome in the heart of Las Vegas. We’ll pick up on how the team manages to deal with that next time.

If you like what you’ve read here, please like/reblog or share elsewhere online, follow me on Twitter (@WC_WIT), and consider throwing some support my way at either Ko-Fi.com or Patreon.com at the extension “/witswriting”