#ep 8 quite literally ate

[lynx-224]

“but they didn’t have luke say ‘sixty seconds percy’—” womp fucking womp

[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 8 Ep. 174: A Quiet New Years

Not long after Peachy switched careers New Years Eve rolled around, and for little Luigi it was a very un-merry New Years indeed.

He awoke with his mouth and head both feeling like they were quite literally falling apart, suffering from a loose tooth and classic Bloaty Head symptoms. He stumbled down the hall in search of his dads. Surely, they’d know how to help!

---------------------------------------------

Dada Peachy listened patently to his saga of aches and pains and then wrapped his hurting little man into a giant, careful hug.

He coaxed Luigi into laying on the sofa and closing his eyes to rest while he went to check with Jack about the best medicines to soothe the symptoms of their poor sick son. The two dads found something that would help him rest and left him right there on the couch where they could keep watch.

Once he’d drifted off to sleep, they called Chance to bow out of the New Year’s Eve party they’d planned to attend at his place that evening.

---------------------------------------------

Luigi woke from his nap to find Valentina quietly reading beside him. When he said that his head felt a bit better, but his tooth was wiggling worse than ever, the experienced mom suggested that he might prefer to help that along rather than suffer it indefinitely.

When she was his age she’d hated the feeling of loose teeth too, and she’d always wiggled them like crazy until they popped out. It hurt a little bit more right afterwards but still felt better than trying to eat or talk with the shaky tooth still in there poking and aching randomly.

Luigi was willing to try anything and worked on that unstable incisor until it popped free at last! The gaping hole it left behind did ache and bleed a little bit, but it soon felt much better and stopped being a distraction on top of his more serious health issue.

---------------------------------------------

Bloaty Head was no joke. Despite the medicine and nap, Luigi’s headache lingered on, joined by intermittent waves of dizziness.

Valentina kept him entertained with a story while Jack headed into the kitchen to cook up a big pot of his matzo ball soup and Peachy cleared space for the folding table in the magic room right down the hall from their loopy little trooper.

While they ate, they talked about their goals for the new year. Peachy was aiming to build enough respect for his comedy at work that he could leave the music angle out of his acts. Luigi and Jack were excited about llama scouting, skill building, and some upcoming video games. As for Valentina, she wanted to improve her overall health and intended to turn her focus to healthy eating habits and exercise for both her and her kids.

---------------------------------------------

After another long nap, this time with Papa Jack keeping him company, Luigi woke up feeling just a bit better than last time.

While they were resting Valentina had left to see her family and Peachy had transformed the spare bedroom with some old treasures from the attic.

---------------------------------------------

All rested up, the trio played videogames until the all-important countdown at midnight, ringing in the new year merrily after all!

-----------------------------------------

Want To See More? View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[thesiriusmoon]

Alligator Valley

Summary: there’s a not so new agent in town, and Bonnie is helping out on her first case with him. A cannibal case in Florida.

Characters: Bonnie McBride (OC), Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Penelope Garcia

AU: Criminal Minds

Episode: Lucky (S3, Ep 8)

AN: follows canon but I tweak it to fit my story lol

TW: Possible mentions for gore and death, drugs use, abuse (all aspects).

Please reblog and like!! It really helps me out <3

———————————

A couple of days had gone by since Bonnie physically saw her mother, nor heard much from her at all. She was always away, and it had taken a bit of a toll of her mood. Second guessing whether or not her mother really wanted her anymore. No text messages to let her know she’s alright, just things about microwave dinners and pop tarts. Ever since Bonnie could, she had worked. From age 14 earning $5 an hour. She helped pay the bills and whatever was left was for school work and clothes. Now that she had this assistants job she had felt a little lighter. Not having to worry too much about what she would have left over, but that didn’t stop her mother from disappearing for days. The longest was two weeks then one day she walked in, drunk out of her mind Bonnie was amazed she could stand, and walked straight past her and into bed. The next morning ate cereal from the same table without lifting her head, continuously scratching her arm full of needle piercings.

The woman she looked at was not the same in old photographs when she was a baby or toddler. Her brown hair was thin and greying at only forty. Her skin so tight that Bonnie could see her mothers cheekbones and ribs as clearly as she could see her eyes. It made her wonder, if she was watching her mother wither away.

Bonnie had became quite agitated. Everything said to her must have been against her. If she were asked to do her job she’d take it as being bossed around, but would comply quietly, seething under her breath. Or if she had been given constructive criticism she would convince herself it was because someone didn’t think she could handle her own.

David Rossi was quite the character. She had read one of his books before. Detailing his journey from the army, to the FBI. It was really quite interesting. She never thought she’d be standing in the same room with the man who caught Ryland Posey. The man who set off five bombs, almost six, if David Rossi hadn’t gotten to him in time. The man was made of stone. Every time Bonnie were in his presence she found that she was too intimated to talk. His legacy was bigger than her whole life.

He spoke sternly and low, creeping her out a little bit. Also adding to her quiet teeth gritting as she didn’t like how much of a know-it-all he could be. Speaking to the team as if he owned them.

It was an hour after starting her shift, 11am, when her phone beeped, and the team were getting ready to leave for Florida.

Before Bonnie could get to the jet first like always, Penelope had appeared, popping out of nowhere, and grabbed her arms with haste. “Guess what!” Her cheeks were rosy pink and the smile on her face was just ready to burst and spew confetti.

“What?!” She jumped up and down with Penelope, the woman’s excitement rushing through her hands and intertwined hers.

“I met a guy!”

Bonnie gasped dramatically. “Shut up! Who!” Stopping jumping to get to the serious parts.

“Well, his name is James and I met him at a coffee shop!” Penelope squealed with delight.

“That’s so cute! That’s literally the ideal place right? Going in for a cute little coffee and just bumping into someone!”

“I know!” Penelope strained her voice in attempt to remain a little composed in the office.

“Well you’ll have to tell me everything and more when I get back!”

“I will! I’m very excited for our sleepover young lady!”

Bonnie felt her heart melt and ache at the same time.

There was no hiding anything from Penelope Garcia. She was infamous for it. Literally smelling mood changes. It didn’t take long for the woman to question Bonnie on why she had been acting off. And it was easy to talk to Penelope. She actually listened to her. She was just like an open diary all ready to be written all over

So then the door of Penelope’s apartment was open to her 24/7. She had insisted at first that it was too generous to offer her a place to stay until her mother returned, because it would be too often and might be longer than Penelope had expected. So Bonnie had negotiated that she’d go for a night or two, for snacks and movies, just like having a best friend. Something Bonnie never had the time to have, skipping grades and going to college at 16 being surrounded by people much older than she was.

“Don’t take too long!” Penelope waved Bonnie off as she sped towards the jet.

“So, this guy is a complete and utter psychopath!” David Rossi ranted at the screen which showed an assortment of body parts. No faces. Just legs and arms. Fingers and toes.

“Someone very mentally ill Rossi.” Derek said from across the table.

“Obviously.” The older man sassed and Derek rolled his eyes, clenching his jaw like he always did if someone pissed him off.

“Guys. Listen up please.” Hotch scolded the two like a pair of kids, before clearing his throat and putting his attention back onto the computer. “This is Abby, nineteen, she left for college and never returned home. A pair of joggers found her body in a nearby park three days later. Everything below her waist had been eaten. All ten fingers gone, and her throat slit.”

This girl was only a year older than she was. Bonnie couldn’t help but feel attacked herself. Why must it always be women?

“What did that to her?” Derek asked, pointing to what would have been the girls bottom half.

“Bridgewater's off of i-75, Which is often referred to as alligator alley For reasons that are now apparent.” Hotch answered and Emily grimaced.

“I suddenly don’t feel so bad about my alligator purse.”

“Ah, the circle of life.” Rossi commented casually.

“An alligator couldn’t have carved an inverted pentagram on her torso though right? Or slit her throat? Unless he’s really skilled.” Derek conspired.

“The locals believe that a satanic cult is at fault.” Hotch replied, and Spencer quickly intervened.

“S-Satanic cults have been debunked as a myth actually.”

“What?” Jennifer looked unconvinced.

“Yeah, it was Rossi who debunked it.” All heads turned to the older man.

“Thanks kid.” Rossi gave Spencer a nod and Bonnie almost laughed at how his face radiated.

“Cult or not, this is ritualised.” Said Hotch and Emily sighed.

“So… satanic cults don’t exist, but satanic killers do?” She asked and Bonnie also rolled the question over her head.

“Lasciate ogni speranza ch'entrate.”

The team looked at Rossi with clueless eyes.

“Oh. Thanks for clearin' that up.” Derek tutted.

“Uh, it's from dante's inferno. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." Spencer answered proudly.

“So… yes?” Emily asked and Rossi nodded.

“Precisely.”

But the boy genius wasn’t quite done yet. “There are two types of satanic killers actually. One is the rebellious teenager. Looking for a way out of reality. Mix this with some drugs and alcohol and it could turn violent. In some cases deadly.”

Rossi looked up at Spencer who smiled. “That’s from my book.”

“Trust me, we know.” Jennifer laughed and Spencer’s happiness faltered slightly.

“And the other?” Hotch asked.

Spencer continued, a little quieter and less enthusiastically this time however. Looking down towards the computer. “The adaptive. The worse one of the two I believe. I-it’s when a serial killer begins to blame his doings on fantasies. They will adapt satanic beliefs to fit their cause.”

“He doesn’t kill because he believes in satan. He believes in satan because he kills then. Is that it?” Rossi nodded at Derek who rubbed his head. “I don’t believe in all this crap!”

Spencer never missed a beat as his mouth ran faster than his thoughts. “Maybe that’s because you never really let god into your life?”

Derek whipped around, his thick brows crossed. “No offence kid, but you don’t know what I believe in.” And Spencer gulped, sinking into his chair.

“Alright well… we’re almost there. So when we land Bonnie you’re with me and Rossi, the rest of you visit the police department.”

Bonnie didn’t have that many notes yet. All she had picked out from the group was that they were looking for someone who believes that satan is real because they have committed such a heinous act. It wasn’t much to go on, there were probably lots of people who believed that.

Following Agent Hotchner and Rossi, they were led down to an examination room where Abby’s body- what was left of it- was being autopsied.

“Sir, I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner with the FBI.” Agent Hotchner shook the doctors hand after the man removed his glove.

“David Rossi.” Another shake.

“Bonnie.” She smiled and kept her hands on her notebook.

“Thank you for coming. I’ve been needing to speak with you.” The man said shaking every so slightly. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Agent Hotchner lifted his head with interest.

“Fingers. Ten of them found in Abby’s stomach. They’re away for testing right as we speak.”

“He made her eat them?” Bonnie asked and the man nodded.

“Yes.”

“Are they hers?” Agent Hotchner asked.

But the man shook his head. “No… these belong to other people I’m sure of it. Three are index fingers.”

“More victims.” Rossi said aloud.

“He fed her other peoples fingers… why?” She asked the other two agents with her pen in hand ready to write.

“To send a message he’s killed more. And that…” agent Hotchner sighed and looked away from Bonnie. “He’s possibly eating them.”

The man from the autopsy stopped dead. “Serious?”

“Yes.” Agent Hotchner stated in his classic monotone voice.

“Well if it’s satanism, I think we should talk to the local priest don’t you think?” Rossi suggested and Agent Hotchner nodded.

“Yeah good thinking.” And she followed the two out of the room.

Rossi and Derek decided to go to the church, while Bonnie and Agent Hotchner returned to the police station to share their findings. Jennifer and Emily had just returned from visiting Abby’s father.

“He fed her fingers? That’s messed up.” Jennifer scrunched her nose like being hit with a bad smell.

“You ever wonder what human meat tastes like?” Emily pondered to herself and Agent Hotchner ignored her, while Bonnie shook her head.

“Never thought about it, never want to.”

Before Emily could go on further about eating people, an officer barged into the office and all heads turned.

“Sir, we’ve just got a call about a woman being abducted at a rest stop near the state park. We’d like you to check it out. We think it’s your guy.”

“Alright. Emily come, JJ and Reid stay and wait for Rossi and Morgan.” The boss had ordered and Bonnie could easily see how restless Spencer was getting being stuck in this small room from the minute they arrived.

At the rest stop, the team were brought into a bathroom, a smelly one. In one stall, a red inverted pentagram had been drawn on the door, marking which one the act had been committed, possibly to tell satan it was here. The toilet lid was down and a stack of books perched on top.

“Books?” Emily questioned.

“Satanic ones. And they’re nice and neat. This unsub may have been institutionalised, seeing as we’ve profiled he’s mentally ill. The only form of control he had was being tidy, almost military. Everything else was stripped away.”

Then he paused, his thumb running over the rest of his fingers. “Host a search party. Five o’clock today.” That was in two hours.

“You think she’s still here?” Emily asked as the three strolled back to the SUV.

“Maybe. There’s only one way to find out. Plus, the woman at the store said no cars have driven in…”

“Maybe she just didn’t see it or something? On break?” Bonnie suggested but Agent Hotchner shook his head.

“I don’t know. But… hopefully this search will help us.”

Two hours rolled on very quickly, and the whole team arrived to see a whole town at the park. Flyers being handed out, snacks and water, even hot food.

Father Marks had volunteered as well, he was the priest that Rossi and Derek spoke to. Bonnie wasn’t very sure of the man, she’d never met him, only that the team are assuming the unsub has some sort of connection to worship… and could tell that neither was Derek.

“What the fuck is that guy doing here?” The man mumbled next to Agent Hotchner who rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“He’s helping with the search.”

“Hotch you know that unsubs will sometimes insert themselves into the investigations right? This dude knows about this satanic stuff!”

“Morgan, chill out. Rossi said he was very cooperative right? He knows his stuff, you interviewed him… i don’t think your dislike for this man has anything to do with this case.” Bonnie feared that Derek may land a punch on Agent Hotchners face the way the man stepped back and clenched his fist. “Let’s just focus on finding Tracy Lambert alright?” Derek huffed, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and shoved on his dark sunglasses and walked alone into the forest.

Meanwhile Bonnie landed herself beside Spencer. “They’ve got chilli over there. Who eats chilli on a search party?” Bonnie chuckled, pointing out the stand to Spencer who hummed.

“Apparently Emily.” He said as they watched Emily take a bowl and scoop some into her mouth. “I hate public food. Don’t know where it’s been.”

Bonnie didn’t mind it. Sometimes it was better than buying ingredients from the shop which costed more than a simple takeaway. She couldn’t really afford to care about who handled her food. As long as she wasn’t hungry and it tasted good.

She signed the searchers sheet and herself and Spencer stuck close together. The memory of going off alone in the woods during the Sandy Parker case crept up on her like a stalker and choked her from behind. She started combing her hair with her fingers, protecting it.

Her breathing became heavier as her eyes frantically scanned her surrounding, instinctively looking for short red hair.

“Hey.” Spencer’s voice didn’t exactly make her stop, but she now had something to focus on. “Everything’s gonna be alright. I’m here with you. And I’m allowed to use a gun now!”

That made her feel a little lighter, but with each step further into the woods she felt the trees closing in on her.

“I hope so… just the last time I did this I almost died… on my first case as well.”

“You ever hear about my first case?” Spencer asked, trying his hardest to comfort the younger girl.

“No?”

He laughed at the reminiscence. “I was twenty one. I’d never been in a fight or-or anything like that my entire life. I had just been granted permission to be allowed in the field. Hotch took the lead like always, and-and told me to go round back with Morgan. I was basically a look out.” He was smiling. “So we went around the back of this big house, and he told me to stay put while he checked the inside was clear. I couldn’t shoot by then, I was awful.” She managed to laugh a little, still keeping close to Spencer, grazing his arm as she walked through the woods.

“The unsub jumped me from behind. And I wasn’t stocky or strong like Hotch or Morgan, hell I’m still not! He took me down and whacked me hard on the head and I couldn’t see from how dizzy I was. I genuinely thought I was gonna die. That was until morgan shot him. The first time I’ve even been close to a bullet. When I sat up, I threw up all over myself. Like literally everywhere.” He began to really laugh now. So hard he could barely finish his sentence. “And then- and then, Morgan took of his top and had to physically change me. Mind you we’re in this person back garden with a dead man behind us and he’s stripping me! My shoes at that point were covered in vomit and y’know the first thing I said was?”

“What?” She asked laughing along, despite how scary it must have been.

“I asked for my mom. My mother! At my grown age being an FBI agent I asked for my mom. Morgan had to take my shoes off and carried me bridal style to the SUV. I’ll never forget that. Or Gideon… while I was in the hospital getting stitches he stayed by my side the entire time. Reading from his bird books… he knew I hated hospitals…” Bonnies smile slowly faded to a frown.

“I know you miss him… he was a great guy. From my little time with him I learned a lot! Like that time he called that man’s mum a whore? Who does that?!” She hadn’t been present from the amount of guns pulled, but agent Hotchner told her everything once they were back safely in the jet. How Gideon confronted this man named Frank and simply insulted his mother, before the man and a victim jumped in front of a train.

That insult must have really hurt.

“Only Gideon.” Spencer laughed again, but distantly. Sadly almost.

“I’m sorry he left Spencer. If I could bring him back for you I would. I know what it’s like to-“ she stopped and cleared her throat. There were some things in the world that aren’t meant to be said. Like how it was actually quite obvious Spencer lacked a parental figure. Seeing how much he admired… and actually loved Agent Gideon as if he were his own flesh and blood.

“It’s that obvious?” Spencer turned to her with a smirk. “Shit I thought I was doing well with hiding the fact I don’t have a dad.”

Bonnie snorted. “I understand. My dad passed when I was little. Just been me and my mum ever since.” Thought now it seemed like it was just her alone. Eighteen and all by herself in this big big world.

“I’m… I’m sorry to hear that. This team… it’s a family. I’ve gained a father, lost him, but I also gained brothers and sisters, and whatever Hotch is… I can’t put my finger on it…“ perhaps Agent Hotchner just had that dad vibe. Considering he had a little boy at home.

Or maybe it was his age actually…

The Tobias Hankel case file flashed quickly in her mind, and she remembered Spencer’s name very clearly, and wondered if she could risk asking about it. If there was something wrong, she’d like to know. It could help her understand the team better, seeing as this went down before she had joined them.

“Spencer…” she started anxiously. Sandy Parker no longer in her thoughts.

He hummed back.

“When I was sorting the case files, I saw one with your name in it.” The man shifted and cleared his throat.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah… Tobias Hankel?” You couldn’t have missed the flinch even if you weren’t looking. And with that she regretted every opening her mouth. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No…” he scratched his arm. “No it’s ok. We’re a family now.” She wondered if he knew how much that had meant to her. “He was a sick man. Mentally unwell. He kidnapped me, drugged me. I dug my own grave.” He scoffed sourly. “But the team found me just in time… sometimes I wish they hadn’t.” He whispered the last part, but having it be so quiet around this forest Bonnie heard, and tentatively reached for Spencer’s hand which he flinched at.

“Sorry… I forgot you don’t like to be touched.”

His face of fear turned soft, and he gave a small smile, and took her hand in his. “Only with family.”

A surge of warmth coated her body as she really smiled.

Unfortunately, after a couple hours no girl had turned up. So both Bonnie and Spencer reluctantly left the forest, despite how much they wanted to keep looking, and were met with a serious faced Agent Hotchner, and they let go of each other.

“It’s getting too dark, we have to go back to the station, JJ has an idea.” And the two younger ones shared a worried look before getting into the SUV, driven by Agent Hotchner.

Back at the station, Jennifer began reading over the search list and volunteers from the church, hoping the theory of the unsub being part of the church was right, but so far had nothing.

“Garcia’s I’D the fingers. No two are the same. That’s ten victims.” Spencer began drawing on the map. “Hey look at this.”

Jennifer, Agent Hotchner, and Bonnie stood closer.

“The hunting ground is in the middle of it all. The last time any of the woman were last seen.” Agent Hotchner thought aloud.

“He likes to stay close to home then. Gives him familiarity.” Jennifer said and Spencer nodded.

“It was prostitution that helped Garcia with the ID. I think they were easy to catch.”

The thought of her mother out all alone with strange men was too much for Bonnie, so she slipped outside and pulled a cigarette from her blazer pocket, walking around the side of the police building for a bit of privacy. Hoping none of the team would discover her disgusting habit.

It was a simple little thing that filled her with relief. A break. She started when she was 14 after getting her first job in a small take away shop that was always busy. Nipping out the back for five minutes was a blessing. The nicotine high would relax her tense body and she’d go back in after drowning herself in perfume, and feel as if she had rested well and could continue.

Quitting was very hard and sometimes she regretted ever picking up a cigarette. But on the most stressful times such as thinking about her mother, it was the only escape. The only thing to take her mind elsewhere.

It was later that night when Derek left the station, only to come running back in with the news of a body which was already on the way to the hospital, and father mark was brought in for questioning.

Agent Hotchner began. “She’s Hispanic for one. She’s not either of the women we’ve been looking for.” As amidst the searching for Tracey, another woman had been abducted. Every single member of the team had felt absolutely hopeless. How could they host a search only for another woman to go missing?

“Her names Maria Lopez, 31, 2 kids. Numerous arrests for solicitation and prostitution. But she was reported missing nine months ago.” Jennifer furrowed her brows in confusion.

“How does that work? He’s holding them?” Emily asked Agent Hotchner who was double checking the search sheets while Rossi and Derek spoke to Father Mark.

“Get Dr Fulton on the phone.” Agent Hotchner demanded and Jennifer began to dial.

Once the man answered, Agent Hotchner started immediately. “Has Maria Lopez’s cells burst?”

“Why?” The doctor asked and Agent Hotchner groaned.

“Because we think she was killed, frozen, kept, and eaten.”

The line went silent. A couple of seconds passed and the doctor replied. “Yes, her cells were burst.”

“Thanks.” And the man ended the call.

“Well that explains why we haven’t found any other victims.”

Bonnie took a shaky breath. “Garcia’s checking mental institutes still, there’s two but we’re gonna have to narrow this down.” Agent Hotchner sat down and failed Penelope’s phone.

“Now call Garcia.”

“A please would be nice.” Jennifer held her phone in her hand waiting.

“Please.”

And she then dialed.

“I’m your fairy godmother Garcia, you may grant me one wish!”

“Have you found anything in the institutions yet?” Agent Hotchner asked.

“So I can't find any patients in florida Who have the charmheg of being both a satanist and a cannibal. However, hazelwood mental institution is the place to go When looking for florida's most dangerous kinds of wackos, And they had a fire in 1998 that destroyed all their records.”

Agent Hotchner listened intently, not moving a single muscle.

“Let’s give hazelwood a visit, JJ call them and tell them we’re coming. Reid, Bonnie let’s go.” As tired as she was, Bonnie went, lunging her first steps and cracking her neck that Emily gagged at.

“What are you expecting we find?” Spencer asked from the front seat.

“A man who would have been young at the time, very mentally ill, and hopefully someone who will know of our description.”

“That’s really vage.” Bonnie piped up from the back and agent Hotchner nodded.

“But this man would also be prone to biting, like during fights or something. Hopefully someone will have a file.”

So when they pulled up to Hazelwood, that’s exactly what they did.

They were brought into a doctors office, not much decorating the area besides a couple diplomas and such.

“As I told agent Jareau on the phone, We have no existing record of that patient you described.” The doctor said feeling helpless. His hands out in front of him on the table, as if trying to grab any sort of memory that would help.

“We know. We were hoping you might actually remember a patient. He would have been an adolescent when admitted.”

“Dr Lorenz was in charge of adolescents.” The doctor replied as grief covered his sunken face.

“Is he here?” Agent Hotchner asked and the man shook his head.

“He died in the fire. He was leaving when he heard the alarm and ran back in.”

“Why?” Spencer asked.

“He was a very dedicated man.”

“Like he had something to protect? Something to risk his life over?” Bonnie then asked.

The doctors wrinkled forehead creased, and he stood up from his chair. “There was one thing…” moving towards a desk and sliding one of the drawers open, pulling out a worn out notebook.

“This boy… he wrote about taking a bite out of his nine year old sister… cannibalism’s what you’re looking for isn’t it?” Agent Hotchner took the book from the doctors hands and flipped to the front.

“Floyd Feylinn Ferell.”

The sirens were on, speeding down streets and running red lights, Bonnie gripped onto her door handle in fear of her life. She’d never been in a police car like this before.

Rossi and Morgan were closer than they were, having been at the church with Father Mark.

By the time they arrived, the suspect was in Derek’s hands, shirtless, being pushed into the back of a police car.

“That’s him?” She asked peeking to look out of the front window with wide eyes.

“Yep.” Agent Hotchner answered, and began following the car down to the station.

The team were all together again, and their anxieties had dropped slightly, all hoping this truly was the man the town was looking for. To bring justice to those dead.

The entire team stood outside of the double sided glass window of the interrogation room, all very eager that this was the one.

Father Mark was waiting with the rest of the team.

“Kobe girl steak.” The man began. “That’s where you prepare the meat isn’t it?” The man was unresponsive. “You’ve got a lot of unusual recipes in here Floyd.” Derek held up a better looking journal than the one found at the institute. “Must have tried some of ‘em?”

“Hm.” Floyd hummed down to himself.

“Talk to me.” The agents eyes digging holes into the smaller, much weaker man. “Which ones?”

Floyd slightly lifted his head in the direction of Derek. “Some have smiley faces. Some have sad.” It was the first time any of them had heard him speak. It was soft, calm, unnerving.

Despite how sick Derek just have felt, he carried on. “You ever hear voices Floyd?”

“I’m not smart. But I have a smart friend who tells me things.” Floyd responded.

“What’s your friends name?”

Floyd ignored him. “He wants me to tell you something.” And Derek waited. “Your watch has stopped working.”

“He’s trying to spook him.” Agent Hotchner commented from the other side of the glass

“Yeah uh… I’ve been meaning to change the batteries for a month.”

Bonnie hoped Floyds plan wouldn’t work on Derek, because she was certainly taken back.

Derek then proceeded to suggest that Floyd took fit women due to the fact they would have more ‘meat’ on their bones for his recipes. To which Floyd answered he thought that skinny people who took drugs didn’t taste very nice.

“Where’s Tracy Lambert?” Derek drilled, and Floyd smiled.

“I can only tell Father Mark.”

Derek excused himself and even though Agent Hotchner was against it, the man was able to take Father Mark into the room. “I do all the talking. Alright?” And the priest nodded.

Floyd immediately looked up when he saw Father Mark. “Thank you for coming father.”

“Anything I can do for-“ Derek paused the priest with a finger in the air.

“I had to pull a lot of strings to get him in here Floyd. My bosses really didn’t like to idea of him sending him in at all. So he’s gonna sit here nice and quiet, and you’re only gonna talk to me, alright?”

“Ok.” Floyd answered. “I’ve done bad things.”

“We’ve all done bad things we’re not proud of Floyd. The only thing that helps is to tell others.”

“Not everything” Floyd shook his head.

From beyond the glass, Bonnie’s head had tilted in interest looking at Floyds demeanour. He had completely opened when Father Marks had came in, and could not stop taking glances every couple of seconds to the priest. He looked, like he was planning something.

“This isn’t right.” Agent hotchner’s brows were furrowed as he too stared at Floyd. “When Floyd was at the search he signed the sign in sheet, but not the searchers.”

Inside, Derek pressed. “Come on Floyd. I got him in here because you wanted him, now it’s your turn. Where is Tracy Lambert?”

Bonnies eyes faltered around the room in thought. She could see some stalls. Snacks and drinks, then she looked up to the people. Those handing them out. “Something wrong…” but she hadn’t made it out yet.

“I feel so alone father. That god had abandoned me.” Father Mark looked at Derek for permission to speak, and the man nodded.

“You are not alone, my son. God is in all of us.”

“We have to stop the interview.” Agent Hotchner panicked.

The man, Floyd, began to grin sinisterly, twisted his head upwards, and laughed.

“So is Tracy Lambert.”

Then it all made sense.

She could see him so clearly now. Standing behind the stand where chilli was being served. She had watched him give a bowl to Emily.

Bonnie spun around to watch the said woman run out of the room covering her mouth with her hand.

“You son of a bitch- you son of a-“ Father Mark flung his body of the table and lunged for Floyds throat, Derek catching him by his waist and yelled for back up. All while Floyd watched with a grin on his face.

A face Bonnie would not forget.

Back on the jet, after Emily was done throwing up every piece of food in her body, everyone was silent.

Derek was not present, but no one paid much mind.

Bonnie brought out her small flip phone and texted Penelope. She first had to collect her things that she left at the BAU, then find a way to get to Penelope’s apartment. Maybe Agent Hotchner would give her a lift. Or Jennifer. Not Emily… Emily would want some alone time. Probably to make herself throw up some more.

Well at least she knew was human meat tasted like now…

Bonnie screwed her face up at the sudden thought.

‘Hey Penelope, we’re on the jet now, I won’t be long!’ She texted and sent, before passing out on the plan ride home.

——————————

“Bonnie! Bonnie wake up!” A strong hand was shaking her from her slumber and she jumped out of her chair in a panic.

Agent Hotchner grabbed her shoulder and hurried her out of the jet, her still being in a sleepy state.

“What? What’s wrong?!” She breathed heavily as she tried to keep up with the man’s long strides.

“I…” his grip on her tightened. “Penelope’s been shot.”

[gmwsuperfan5467890]

Controversial Disney Opinions

1) Austin and Ally should have stayed just friends. Sure, I ate that shit up when I was like 10 but now I’m older, I know better and they had zero chemistry. Any other ship between the ships on the show would be marginally better than a*slly. I am not saying this because of the Raini and Ross rumours, I’ve had this opinion for quite some time.

2) I disliked Mason and hated Alex and Mason together. Mason is jealous to an almost possessive degree; he eats Alex’s ex boyfriend (hilarious ep tho), he ruins Alex’s award ceremony because he was jealous of the beast tamer, when Alex and Mason are broken up, he is relentlessly pushy in getting them back together, even when she reject him. He also told Juliet that he loved her, which was apparently because of his werewolf hormones but even then, that would mean there were some feelings there. He also never truly accepted her for who she was, for example in the Alex vs Alex movie, he is pissed at her for using magic to make them lunch and he along with her family tell her how selfish she is and how she needs to grow up and change. Alex deserved so much better.

3) Andi was my favourite character from Andi Mack. She was selfish? She was overdramatic and complained a lot? Well she was 13 and going through a major life change, cut her some slack.

4) Riley was way too overhated. She was naive and detached from reality? Her parents raised her to be sheltered and her best friends continued sheltering her. She was way too coddled but that was not her fault. Personally, her and Farkle were my favourite characters on the show.

5) I never liked Gordo and Lizzie together. I just hate the trope where person A pines over person B while person B is not really/barely interested.

6) I don’t ship Phineas and Isabella together for the same reasons stated in 5).

7) I actually like Ferb and Isabella together. I just think their personalities would mesh better together and there were a bunch of small hints. For example, there was this one scene in the Summer Belongs to You movie where Isabella is crying over Phineas who is oblivious about Isabella being sad, while Ferb comforts her. Isabella says, “I wish he/someone would the sunset with me” and who was watching it with her? Ferb. To me, that scene just showed that Ferb understands emotionally her more than Phineas and I feel like Isabella is more calm with Ferb because she isn’t obsessing over ever interaction between them. And you may argue that she is obsessive because she has a crush, however you can have really strong romantic feelings for someone and not spend your time obsessing over them.

8) I was rooting for Candace. Not because I think the boys should be punished but because I was sick of their mom bad-mouthing Candace behind her back to her friends and treating her like she was crazy. It made me so mad. Also how was it possible that the whole town except for her knew about the contraption Phineas and Ferb were building.

9) Vanessa dating Ferb at the end ruined her character. Vanessa has known Ferb since she was 16 and he was 10(?). In the ep where they’re all going off to college, I’m pretty sure they say/imply that they’ve been dating for a year. So either Vanessa started dating him when he was 17 and she was 24 or they started dating when he turned 18. Even then, she wouldn’t magically catch feelings for him when he turned 18, she had to have feelings/some sort of connection to him before. So a 24 year old Vanessa had feelings for a minor, the same minor that she knew when he was 10 and she was 16. Absolutely vile and disgusting. This ship makes me furious and I can’t believe this was written, let alone approved.

10) ‘Act Your Age’ didn’t make sense. Baljeet said that they didn’t tell Phineas that Isabella had a crush on him because they don’t talk about feelings but that is really OOC. Baljeet literally told Phineas and Ferb about his feelings for Mishti and about his feelings of getting a bad grade, so the claim that they don’t talk about their feelings is completely false. They are all so close and Phineas’ best friend is literally his brother who he spends 24/7 with. You’re telling me that they would shy away from telling Phineas about Isabella’s feelings if they thought he liked her? The only plausible reason that makes sense is that no one in their friend group thought that Phineas liked Isabella back and they didn’t want Isabella to get rejected.

[chalkrevelations]

Moving on to Episode 4 of Word of Honor, and y’all.

Wait, first: If you’re new or just visiting, this is a re-watch, so there are SPOILERS not just for this ep but for the ENTIRE SHOW. Maybe a lot of them. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch it unspoiled. (They’re all gonna be tagged “word of honor episode reax”)

A couple of big things, first:

So, right up front, I don’t know for sure that this is the first time we’ve heard the word, but it’s the first time I’ve twigged to it in this re-watch. As Zhou Zishu and Chengling are leaving the inn in the morning, at the very beginning of the ep, Wen Kexing asks why ZZS continues to call him gongzi and wants to know if he’s still too much of an outsider for a less formal form of address. He uses the word 外人 (wairen) (at 2:30) for “outsider,” which is how the subs translate it here. Anybody who’s been around for these flailing reactions since the first time I watched the show might remember that I made a deal about this somewhere around in the late 20s of the episodes, based on a post from someone that I scrolled quickly past while avoiding spoilers and that I have NEVER FOUND AGAIN and am STILL LOOKING FOR, that alerted me to the use of this word and its nuances in ep 25. There’s a conversation there about WKX possibly taking over some of Chengling’s training at Siji Manor, and WKX demurs, calling himself “外人.” Youku translated it there as “someone else,” as in having “someone else” train your disciple, and ZZS responds with “And you’re 外人?” again translated as “someone else.” This actually seems to mean “stranger,” or “outsider,” as they do actually translate it here in Ep 4 - presumably someone who’s from outside your sect, at least in the Ep 25 instance, in which WKX is labeling himself that while he’s in the midst of his upcoming crisis, trying to keep his emotional distance from ZZS and Siji Manor. It’s used again in Ep 26, when ZZS finds WKX giving training advice to Chengling, and it’s one of the ways they have WKX and A-Xiang reflect each other, when she uses it in Ep 29, and rejects it as a description of herself, in order to claim a place in Cao Weining’s sect/family (which, now, knowing … GOD. My HEART). Anyway, I found it super-interesting that WKX is using this word here in Ep 4 to push against ZZS’s boundaries, in contrast to the way he’ll use it later, to try to fortify his own walls against ZZS and Siji Manor. I begin to suspect that he doesn’t want to tell ZZS who he actually is because, maybe, just a little bit, he wants ZZS to figure it out, to recognize him, to truly know him (zhiji) without him having to spell it out. We kind of travel back around to this idea near the end of the ep, when WKX is questioning ZZS about the Baiyi sword, and ZZS tells him that their relationship is like the fish that ZZS unsuccessfully tried to cook and threw on the ground – raw (i.e., unacquainted) – to explain why he keeps shutting out and shutting down WKX. Only we know now that isn’t entirely true, and WKX certainly suspects it isn’t entirely true. (Also, just an observation, ZZS says in that later scene that he’s not interested in who WKX is. DON’T TELL HIM THAT, my dude, now it’s going to be 3,246 episodes before he’ll give you any personal info.)

Also, just a note – I think we make the switch from Zhou-xiong to A-Xu in this ep. (ETA: No! I have been reliably informed by @janedrewfinally that this switch happened back at the end of Ep 3 (at 41:18), and it seems to be part of what precipitates the Completely Reasonable, Not At All Flirtatious, Utterly Heterosexual No Really, Like Bros way that ZZS takes WKX's wine jar. You know the incident we mean.)

The second thing that I really started turning over in my head here is the developing relationship between WKX and Chengling, and this is one of the things that took me so long on this one, because I wanted to go back and look at those two, specifically, in the previous eps again, and revisit their interactions both with and without the mediating factor of ZZS. The first time WXK sees Chengling is in the marketplace at the end of Ep 1 when Chengling ends up giving his token to ZZS. But I think the first time WKX sees Chengling is maybe when WKX’s sitting in the cutout window with his drinkie during the massacre of Mirror Lake and ZZS draws the Baiyi sword to protect Boatman Li and Chengling, just before they make it to the boat and float away back to the mainland. I don’t know how much of the beginning of the fight in the abandoned temple WKX then sees before A-Xiang makes her entrance, but there’s a lot of Chengling flinging himself in front of Boatman Li and ZZS in a way that’s not entirely dissimilar to the way Zhen Yan will fling himself at his parents’ bodies in flashback in a later episode, and then WKX definitely sees dying Boatman Li charge ZZS with Chengling’s care, then make Chengling bow, in a parallel to the scene we’ll get later when Qin Huaizhang accepts Zhen Yan as a Siji Manor shidi. In Ep 3, there’s a lot of weird sympathetic looks from WKX as A-Xiang berates Chengling over dinner (she doesn’t quite have this jiejie thing down yet, and she’s probably never had someone younger than her to take care of) for not taking care of himself so he can be strong and get his revenge for his family’s deaths. This time out, Ep 4, we start with the beggar gangs coming after Chengling, which has some resonance with the former Ghost Valley Master and his Ten Devils standing around the bodies of Zhen Yan’s parents and debating what they’re going to do with this kid before they steal him away. You can see WKX’s eyes start to narrow as the lead beggar dude talks, and he eventually even asks them, “What are you going to do if he doesn’t want to go, take him away by force?” We get a LOT of cutting to WKX in this conversation, even though he ostensibly has nothing to do with this, it’s really a convo between Beggar Guy, ZZS and Chengling. WKX pulls focus, and he eventually provokes that fight, and sure, he wants to see ZZS fighting and hopefully get a look at the Baiyi sword, and he even may think that’s the extent of his ulterior motives, but I’m not sure that actually is the full extent of his motives, there. This episode is also when we really see WKX start to encourage Chengling to continue to press at ZZS about taking him as a disciple, including the first use of the infamous “Tough women can’t resist clingy men” saying. Chengling comments that he was just supposed to be Son #3 who stayed home and took care of the old people, and WKX comes back with the Extremely Significant Comment that “When the children want to fulfill their filial piety, the parents have died,” which is not only Extremely Significant, but also sounds like it may be a quote from a poem or other literature? Anyway, a lot of this is just to say, KINDLY AU ANON WHO WAS THINKING ABOUT WRITING THE STORY IN WHICH WKX GETS CUSTODY OF CHENGLING BECAUSE ZZS IS NOT AT MIRROR LAKE, ARE YOU STILL OUT THERE? Hopefully you are hard at work, writing, because I have been having thoughts about this relationship.

What else? Kind of chronologically:

First of all, it continues to physically pain me to have to look at that horrifying facial hair, ZZS. I cannot WAIT to hit Ep 6.

We open this ep on WKX rolling walnuts in his hand in a way that is reminiscent of SOMEONE who we’ve seen do that before – multiple times, given they put that shot of Ghost Valley Master in the opening credits. Nevertheless, I didn’t catch this right away on my first time through. It took me a few episodes, and then I FINALLY noticed the opening credits shot right in front of my face. Point to you, show. Once you know, this ep practically shoves it in your face, recreating not only the walnut rolling, but a dude getting held up in the air and choked out (which we’ve seen before, in Ep 1 (and will see again)) before being slammed down on the ground with WKX crouched over him (which we’ve seen before, in Ep 1). Later, WKX is concerned about his manicure (which we’ve seen before, in Ep 1). It’s actually a little bit funny that both he and ZZS - a master assassin and a guy who literally skinned another dude (and maybe ate him?) to take his throne – are both so prissy about actual, literal blood. Anyway, is it significant or a coincidence that WKX waits until ZZS and Chengling are out of sight before actually going wild-eyed? You know the look I mean.

OH MY GOD, it’s Lovelace. I had blocked this dude from my mind. Eurgh. Nevertheless, there are a number of things I love about his scene, and all of them are related to A-Xiang, my feral beloved - from the way she clomps into the room, completely unworried about stepping the least bit gracefully while making her presence known and stomping (lit. and fig.) all over his dramatic little bit, to the way she berates him, threatens him with “Aunt Luo,” bares her teeth at him, and makes the eye-gouging motion at him. She is the best, and I adore her. I also love how she literally laughs in WKX’s face at his comment that maybe he just wants to be friends with ZZS, OK, is that alright?

The fight with the beggar gangs in this ep may be the first time we see something similar to the cage of spears maneuver in Prince Jin’s throne room all the way up in Ep … what? 30? … although it won’t be the last time we see it, and each time we see ZZS is perfectly capable of avoiding it or escaping it, making me suspect that Tian Chuang only “trapped” him in it because he let them, just like he only got taken back to Prince Jin in chains, in the first place, because he let it happen. We see it at 5:30 with the beggar gang’s staffs, when ZZS breaks it up by literally flinging another dude into the middle of it. We see it at 5:41, when he kicks his way out of the formation. And we see it at 8:15, when the sheaths have come off the swords, and he feints under them to break his way out. Just noticing.

When WKX is talking about the Baiyi sword as they all sit around ZZS’ sad little raw fish in the dirt by the lakeside, he mentions that Rong Changqing created three master works – the White Cloth sword, the Dragonback, and the “Great Wild Land,” per Youku’s translation. ZZS has the Baiyi sword, I assume the Dragonback is Ye Baiyi’s sword. Is the Great Wild Land actually the Ghost Valley? Given what we learn from Ye Baiyi in the back nine about Rong Changqing and his plans for Ghost Valley? Anyway, then we get some magic pipa playing, and ZZS (trying to, apparently) play WKX’s xiao in musical self-defense, and even though he leaves his opponent bleeding, WKX takes the opportunity to make suggestive comments about teaching him how to blow properly, just in case WKX’s been slacking on his act as a cheesy pick-up artist and anyone’s beginning to see through him. ZZS yells at Chengling for his lack of martial skill, then yells at him for crying, because that always works, particularly with traumatized teenagers who have had their entire family and sect massacred like, two nights ago. As a shifu, I’m not sure how you manage to inspire such devotion, my dude. WKX plays the indulgent parent, but also reassures Chengling that ZZS has good reasons for yelling at a traumatized, newly orphaned kid. I suppose he is getting him ready for all the yelling that’s going to go down once they get to Five Lakes Alliance and Chengling has to deal with Gao Chong and Shenshen. Chengling’s response, with WKX’s encouragement, is to ask to be ZZS’s disciple again. Was Han Ying (who I guess we’ve yet to actually meet at this point (EDIT TO ADD: NO WAIT, he was in Ep 1)) this much of a little dumbass to 24-year-old ZZS when Han Ying was 14? (EDIT 2 TO ADD: And who is writing this story, omg.) Although, ugh, that makes me realize that part of ZZS’s bad mood is that Chengling asking to be a disciple must be bringing up a shit-ton of bad stuff for ZZS about how he got all the other Siji Manor disciples killed. (Wen Kexing sees himself in Chengling, making his bow to Qin Huaizhang, one of the few good things that ever happened in his life, while ZZS sees all those red flowers on the mural back in his rooms in Prince Jin’s palace.) A final lakeside observation – A-Xiang pokes at ZZS’s uselessness as a cook here, and WKX will later ask him why he’s so utilitarian about food and drink, when they’re the greatest pleasures of life. (Really, WKX? THE greatest pleasures? Although that’s certainly an interesting comment given where we end up, in the end.) And it makes me begin to wonder – is ZZS so bad at cooking, and does he continue to avoid it, at least partially because he’s already losing his senses enough so that it interferes with preparing a tasty meal?

Also, we meet the Four Scorpion Assassins, and Pretty Arhat and Evil Bodhisattva have some pretty bold names, but now I’m back on my thing about the women in this show, and wondering what kind of enlightenment or release these two feel like they’ve had, and how it may or may not resemble the mindset of the women of the Department of the Unfaithful in Ghost Valley. I’m not well-versed in Buddhism, though, and am maybe not the person to take on how that religious symbolism is or is not used as a metaphor for female freedom in this show.

This is getting kind of long, so one last observation for now, and I think I may have mentioned this before: WKX has color-coded ZZS and Chengling as a unit in the robes he bought for them when he also rented out the entire inn. He’s not in the same color, but he is in a complementary shade and tone, which I find interesting. Also, his sash is sort of salmon, not the red of his Ghost Valley getup, but not completely divorced from it, either.

[komaedaslove]

do it for her, a sasha braus x reader

jenna's fics ¡ in which you keep your pronise

warnings: aot s4 ep 8 spoilers, death, loss, grieving/mourning death, denial (i think), it's overall quite sad

genre: some fluff, mainly just angst. however you want to view it

pairing: sasha braus x reader (platonic, but view it how you wish)

extra notes: there aren't any pronouns i use for the reader, however the reader does share a room with mikasa and sasha, but that's it mmm yes.

i listened to this (and some sad queen and freddie mercury songs) while writing this

it had taken a bit of begging from sasha, but she managed to get you out of bed at 1 in the morning. excitedly telling you about how she had stolen some meat and wanted you to go outside and eat it with her. you'd disagreed at first, your main concern being captain levi finding out, but the brunette was insistent. telling you she'll take all the blame if levi saw you two.

you knew that was absolute bullshit, but you were really hungry. so you agreed, sasha excitedly clapping and dragging the blanket off of you. she'd tried to get mikasa to go with too, but the girl remained stoic faced, shaking her head and going back to sleep.

that's how you ended up here, sitting on the grass with sasha, eating meat. at past one in the morning.

-

"sasha, do you ever think this will end?"

the brunette cocked her head to the side at your words, cheeks puffed up with meat and brows furrowed. “y/n! this isn’t the time to get all sad please, i really just wanna enjoy my meat,” she replied with a whine, mouth still full as she spoke. you sighed, rolling your eyes as you picked up another slice of meat. “can i be serious with you for once sash? and jesus close your mouth when you eat. you look like a fucking titan.” she narrowed her eyes at you , opening her mouth even wider as she chewed.  

“you’re really killing the mood y/n, pretty sure even mikasa wouldn’t have asked me stuff like this,” she said, and with that sasha swallowed down the remainder of food in her mouth and fell down onto her back with a groan. she turned her head to look up at you, a frown on her face as she clutched her stomach. “my stomach hurts y/n, you’ll have to carry me back inside!” 

“that’s what happens when you eat so damn fast and so much at once! you’ll have to crawl your way back. hopefully levi doesn’t wake up and see you crawling across the grass from the window or something.” you joked, giggling at the way her eyes widened at your statement. “he’ll skin me y/n! y/n please!” you ignored her pleas and stood up, dusting off your pants. before you could even start making your way back inside though, you felt sasha’s two arms wrap around your legs, pulling her body upwards and holding tightly onto you. “please y/n! do you want captain levi to skin me alive? do you? he’ll probably find some way to make me titan fodder! is that what you want?” she shook your legs and gripped onto you even tighter as she pleaded.

you weren’t actually gonna leave here there to crawl by herself, you knew this was gonna end up with you piggybacking her back inside, but it was a little funny to see her beg you to not let ‘levi skin her’.

“fine fine, just grab the plate and hop on my back,” in almost an instant, she unwrapped her arms from your legs and scrambled to grab the plate, waiting for you to get into position before she hopped onto your back, wrapping her arms and legs tightly around you.

“thank you y/n!” she adjusted herself better onto your back laying her head down with a content sigh. you started walking, holding tightly onto the brunette, she wasn’t heavy at all. you’d carried and flown around with odm gear so much by now that this was really easy for you. 

most of the rest of the walk back was fairly silent, and halfway there you could hear sasha’s breathing slow. she was already beginning to doze off. you shook her slightly on your back to keep her awake. you didn’t want her to fall asleep and drop the plate, then you’d have a real huge problem and levi would quite literally skin you both alive.

after a bit of walking you had finally made it to your shared room, sasha slipped off your back quietly, and as you closed the door behind you you breathed out a sigh of relief that no one had seen or heard you two. captain levi would’ve made you run laps right then and there if he did.

you set the plate down next to your bed, making a mental note to take it with you in the morning and wash it out before levi could question you. ‘’sasha don’t forget we have to-” you started, but immediately stopped when you saw that the brunette was already sleeping, her legs hanging off of the bed and face planted into the pillow. you giggled, one thing about sasha was she was that just as much as she loved to eat, she loved to sleep. you were sure that if she had the option she would probably sleep the entire day, only waking up to eat something before trotting off to bed again.

with a quick stretch of your arms you walked over to sasha’s bed, taking off her shoes and moving the sleeping girl’s legs onto the bed. she shifted slightly, mumbling something in her sleep as you pulled the blanket at the edge of the bed over her.

you turned around, just about ready to get into bed and sleep away what little time you still had to do so, but a soft tug and your sleeve stopped you.

you turned back around, humming in response. sasha’s eyes were still closed but now there was a lazy grin on her face, she tugged you forward, beckoning you to come closer. amused by the sleepy girls actions you obliged, leaning forward till you were close enough for her to whisper into your ear.

“one day y/n, i wanna have a picnic with you. a real one. outside these walls. with all those nice things we had when we visited historia, remember? promise me we’ll do that. you have to promise,” she sleepily slurred her words, but you could still perfectly understand what she was saying, and with a small giggle and a nod of your head, you smiled. you weren’t sure when this hell was ever gonna end, or if it was at all, but sasha’s words gave you the tiniest bit of hope. a rather small glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel, but it was still there. and for the first time in what felt like a really long time, you felt happy. like there was nothing else that you had to worry about, you could be truly happy with no other worries for just this moment.

you couldn’t actually remember how you had ever lived before all of this. was there a time when you actually didn’t have to worry about titans, or about whether or whether not you and your friends and comrades would live another day? probably, when you were really young maybe, but again you couldn’t remember.

but right now you got that feeling, that carefree happiness, you weren’t entirely sure how just a few words from sasha did, but you were thankful for it. and you knew you just had to keep this promise, as trivial as it was you wanted that picnic outside of these walls with sasha someday. and you were gonna have it.

“i promise,"

-

“sasha i know its not what you wanted. but its the best i could do,”

two plates were layed out on the ground, each filled with as much food as you could get your hands on. it wasn’t all of the nice things you’d had when you visited historia, but it was the best you could do.

it felt like decades ago when you made that promise, and thinking back on it now you realize how childish it was. were you so filled with hope back then that you actually made promises like this and wholeheartedly believed it would come true? you don’t actually remember, but you did wish you could still have that hope now today. you envied your younger self for it, for being able to have that carefree happiness you were absolutely sure you would never have again in whatever little time you still had left in your life. your light was gone now, and how naive you were for ever for a second believing you could hold on to that light forever. just like everything in this world-no, in this hell, it came to an end. and maybe if you accepted that fact a long time ago you wouldn’t be where you were now, doing what you were doing.

finding some way to cling onto that light-to cling onto her.

you’d told everyone else about your promise, it was a little embarressing to say the least, speaking about something so childish with tears running down your cheeks. you’d also told them the full story, including how she had stolen meat and you had snuck outside in the early hours of the morning to eat it-much to levi’s dismay.

but no one questioned you, not even a little bit. infact, conny had done something similar, he had the habit of filling a plate of food for her at dinner or in the mornings, setting the plate next to him. everyone knew not to sit there, not to question it, because on the inside we were all hoping she would come and sit there. wolfing down her food and complaining after about how hungry she was. you didn’t realize you would ever miss that as much as you did right now.

“armin gave me this seashell from outside the walls, i can’t really go outside the walls right now, there’s not really a way to take you with me, so hopefully this makes up for it. we can pretend like we’re sitting on the beach,” you held up the seashell, showing it off before you set it down on the ground near your plates. you were talking really loudly, but you didn’t actually notice, it was like a part of you wanted to make absolutely sure she could hear you.

“let’s eat!” 

you ate in silence, you weren’t hungry, not at all. your appetite was completely gone. she would probably be asking for your food right now, saying she was done with hers and that she was still really hungry. then you would look at her for a long time, staring into her pleading eyes with a stoic expression before you brought the food to your mouth and ate it, trying to maintain your serious expression as she groaned about how mean you were for that.

how you wished she was here.

once you were done eating you pushed your plate to the side, moving her untouched one as well. you sat up onto your knees, crawling over to the headstone and turning around to put your back to it.

“now its like i’m giving you a piggyback ride, right sash?”

silently, tears rolled down your cheeks again, the salty liquid dropping onto the ground and dissapearing into the earth. you tugged your knees up to your chest, hugging them as you buried your head into your knees. you weren’t sure when, but you started sobbing, cries muffled by your legs as you gripped even tighter onto your legs. you just wanted to hold her, you just wanted her here,

your light was gone, whatever hope you still had in you left the second she did.

after a while you lifted your head up, tear stained face facing up towards the sky. you laughed. with whatever energy you had left in you to do so, you laughed and smiled as you looked up at the sky. up into the clouds. up into where sasha was. she would want you to smile, to laugh, you remembered that night again, where she told you not to say such sad things when she was trying to enjoy her meat. she would’ve said the same thing now. so you forced out that laugh, forced out that smile. for sasha.

“i kept my promise sasha,”

hopefully, she heard you.

[ntshastark]

fuck it, i’m gonna finish this thing today

Bridgerton Season 2 liveblog: Part 5 (eps 7-8)

Episode 7

penelope bby do you have a fucking death wish???? like, i’m not even trying to be cute, this is literally treason

==

AN ICON, A LEGEND

==

listen, i love them so much

==

LISTEN

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

==

NOT ANTHONY AND KATE HAVING TO BE FORCEDLY KEPT AT OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE ROOM BECAUSE THEY’RE JUST TOO FUCKING HORNY

==

- Chris Van Dusen, once I get my hands on him

==

ALL, AGAIN, LITERALLY FUCKING TREASON

YOU KNOW, THAT CRIME YOU CAN BE HANGED FOR

==

my mother coming pick me up at university

==

why is he like this

==

THIS IS JUST SO GOOD, THEY’RE LITERALLY GONNA SEND HIM TO HORNY JAIL

BUT ALSO, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT

TURNS OUT THEY DID READ THE BOOK AFTER ALL!

(and this apparently is all i’m getting from my beloved office scene 🥲)

==

god i really don’t care about any of this, i just want to see kathony

==

spend some time staring at her........ necklace......... did you

==

NÃO ME INTERESSA SE ELA É COROAAAA, PANELA VELHA É QUE FAZ COMIDA BOA 🎶🎶🎶

==

I’M ACTUALLY FUCKING SOBBING, THIS IS THE HARDEST I’VE CRIED SINCE EDMOND’S DEATH

ANTHONY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH GREGORY AND HYACINTH IS MY WEAK SPOT

==

well

fuck

==

WELL

FUCK

==

WELL

FUCK

==

THE MISS SHARMA -> KATE TRANSITION, I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT IT STILL FUCKED ME UP

==

Episode 8

that poor man is just a bunch of traumas under a trench coat

==

WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE AGAIN

DOES NO ONE IN THIS SERIES FUCKING KNOWS THAT TREASON IS A CRIME???????????????

==

oh i LOVE this wig

==

oh babe your brother got there first

==

oh, anthony.................

==

i remember a tweet complaining that half an hour before the season finished anthony and kate still weren’t together so i keep glancing at the time to see when can i start to get my hopes up

==

hey i just remembered lord dorset

por onde anda lord dorset, um beijo lord dorset

==

OH FUCKING HELL ELOISE

==

i refuse to believe london isn’t big enough for two modistes, my suspension of disbelief simply does not go that far

==

zzzzzz

==

this dude enjoys a guilt trip doesn’t he

(i’m back to team phillip if you couldn’t tell)

==

i could only dream of my hair on a good day looking like hers does after a week in bed

==

missed the bicons wallowing in self-pity together tbh

==

OH

OH THEY’RE ABOUT TO MAKE ME CRY AREN’T THEY

==

WELL THEY’VE DONE IT, I’M CRYING

==

I’M A SOBBING MESS

==

I’D LIKE TO BRING THIS SCREENSHOT BACK, NOW UNDER MUCH BETTER CIRCUMSTANCES

==

just dropping these here

==

GOD I LOVE BLENDED FAMILIES SO MUCH, SHOUT OUT TO BLENDED FAMILIES, GOTTA BE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE GENDERS

AND I’M GONNA NEED A SCENE OF ELOISE TALKING TO KATE ABOUT OLIVER AND AMANDA ON SEASON 5 OR WHICHEVER, PLEASE

==

looking forward to see her journey going from this

to this

==

oh my god i had no idea how much of a quadrilha still came directly from the quadrille (speaking of which, only 25 days till june 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻)

==

i quite missed philippa, actually

==

oh fuck they actually brought eloise

==

OH SHIT SHE KNOWS

==

OH SHIT????????????????

==

damn the polin girlies are eating GOOD this episode

==

this combined with her wearing yellow/orange after a whole season of only blue and purple??? poetic cinema

==

DIMPLE

==

A VICTORY FOR THE KATHONY/NILEY INTERSECTION OF THE MENTAL ILLNESSES VENN DIAGRAM

==

HE’S LITERALLY SUPPOSED TO BE COURTING HER GRANDDAUGHTER WHEN THIS TAKES PLACE, I-

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE JUST BRING IN MY DUDE LUMLEY

OR MR BAGWELL, DO WE HAVE ANY MR BAGWELLS IN THE CROWD????

==

well...

fuck

==

YEAH MR COUSIN JACK, YOU CLEARLY FORGOT WHAT THE M IN MILF STANDS FOR

==

YEAH THAT’S WHAT I SAID

==

OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING (DEROGATORY)

==

the polin girlies just threw up everything they ate

(and, damn, at least in the book he was talking to his brothers, and she had a chance to give a killer answer)

==

3 dead, 5 wounded

==

GOD I LOVE THESE TOO BITCHES SO MUCH

==

OH NO THEY FIRED JULIE ANDREWS

==

oh wait nvm

==

bruh, simone’s body 🥵🥵🥵🥵

==

MOMMA DAPHNE SUPREMACY

==

PALL-MALL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE LET THEM DO ONE EVERY SEASON PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE THIS THEIR VERSION OF B99′S HALLOWEEN HEIST, I’LL EVEN FORGIVE THEM FOR MUTILATING MY FAVOURITE BOOK IN THE SERIES PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

==

I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR THEM

AND NOW THEIR SEASON IS OVER AND I FEEL LIKE I DIDN’T GET NEARLY ENOUGH OF THEM THIS IS A FUCKING CRIME I DEMAND THEY TAKE OVER POLIN’S SCREENTIME AS PAYBACK

also, not enough newton

[dramatrashh]

[UNREQUITED LOVE 2021 SPOILERS]

I'm loving it tbh. And I love both the leads. Sheng Huainan is a nerdy cutie pie and Luo Zhi is a nerdy and a confident cutie pie.

These are some of my thoughts up until ep 10.

number 1 being WHY DOES SHE LIE TO HIM ON THEIR DATE WHERE THEY'RE HAVING LUNCH?????? That was so wrong. I can understand that she wanted to lie about the triple chopsticks thing because if she said the reason she would be exposing her crush. BUT she lied to him about her habits as a child? And I know that they were talking about their childhood and it might not be a big thing BUT lying to him just to make him think that she's like her? Or to appease him? Is so wrong. He would definitely like her even if she didn't lie to him about all of this. But I can also understand that she wants to become closer to him. But that's not the right way to do it. I just hope she doesn't do it anymore. I think Huainan would be really sad to know it because all he wants is a person that is in sync with him, but a person that is in sync with him while being themselves, he definitely would not like the fact that she lied. Not to mention that he already was not sure about their relationship because he thought that she did everything on purpose.

2. JUST WHY DOESN'T SHE TELL HIM THAT SHE'S THE GIRL FROM HIS CHILDHOOD MEMORY. I know it means A LOT to her. She has apparently been clinging to the memory for 15 years and it was the start of her crush. But they were children, it is very normal that he forgot most of it. I literally don't remember almost anything of my childhood, except some random moments that make 0 sense *cough*though I don't know if I'm qualified to talk because I can't even remember what I ate this after noon*cough*. Besides, he told her the memory was precious to him and he kept it in his heart. I think that was quite enough to tell him she was the girl from back then. Did she not tell him just to make him think that she also thinks "uncomplete romance is more romantic"? I really hope that wasn't the reason.

3. Why does she feel inferior to him? I don't understand this. She seems to be very confident and her grades are on an equal level as his. She is just as knowledgeable as him, if not more. So why?

4. I know Baili is most probably going to end up with Ge Bi but I really hope she can move on. He doesn't deserve her at all. He's practically been using her all this time. I don't understand why she doesn't want to give up. Maybe it's because their relationship has been like this, has been so one sided since the very beginning. But she really needs to get herself away from him and focus on herself. She just deserves so much better. She can leave a man like Ge Bi to the other girl whose name I don't remember and I don't even care to remember. She compares her relationship with Luo Zhi's crush but they're different. Luo Zhi isn't in a relationship with Huainan. And besides, (I feel a little rude saying this but it has to be said) she should have some dignity and not cling to him when he doesn't care about her at all.

5. I really really dislike that girl with short hair that shout-talks. In the beginning I even found her cute. I didn't dislike her up til she invited Luo Zhi to dinner and made assumptions against her character and talked bad about her. That wasn't alright of her but one could let it pass considering her emotions at the moment. I thought they would end being friends though. My idea died at the end of the ep where she picks up Luo Zhi's diary from the bin (WHY did Luo Zhi even threw it away like that. By the things she had written in it, I would probably burn it before throwing it away or I would hide it somewhere in my room but NEVER throw it in such a public place(maybe I've seen too many dramas lol)) and actually scratched her writing out like that. That's when I realise she is OBSESSED with Huainan. And I know Luo Zhi's crush could be considered as an obsession of some sorts too because she has most probably stalked him around and all. But I REALLY SUPER DUPER UTTERLY EXTREMELY disliked that scene where she purposely throws water on him. Everyone laughs? How could they laugh? It must have been so uncomfortable for Huainan to have a girl sticking to him trying to wipe the water she purposely threw on him. That was soooo not fine of her. I felt uncomfortable through the screen and I cant imagine the character living that multiple times apparently. Also, she's confessed and got rejected if I'm not mistaken? Then girl it's time to back off. He doesn't like you, it's quite simple to understand. Not to talk about that other girl Mingrui has a crush on. She thought Huainan liked her because she thought that he liked her posts on weibo? Is it normal nowadays? Like is a like considered some kind of subtle confession? I really hope not, I really really hope people don't think that irl, just please.

6. I LOOOOOOOOVE Huainan and Mingrui's friendship. They're so cute and understanding of each other and super supportive. By what I'm guessing Mingrui is going to be developed a second lead (there's already some foreshadowing) and that is going to be painful. I really hope I'm guessing utterly wrong here (let me live in an illusion until it doesn't happen). Mingrui is such a good person and he deserves better.

7. I was a little hesitant about all of Huainan behaviour when he found out that Luo Zhi had a crush on him and the way he thought she was lying and all that stuff. He was wrong (until that lunch date at least) because she had never lied to him and a crush is a personal thing, it is Luo Zhi's choice if she wants to reveal it or not. But it was understandable why he was being like that because he had been always approached for various reasons, everyone around him had a motive to be close to him and he was quite tired of being used like that or being liked for his looks. And he thought Luo Zhi was approaching him because of that too.

8. Last thing. WHY, JUST WHY did Luo Zhi not tell him that she was the one who wrote the answer to his question on the wall? Hiding your crush is obviously your choice; hiding the childhood thing, I can understand you to some extent; but this? WHY? why would you hide such a simple thing? I hope the answer to my questions will be revealed slowly.

That's all for now. I really want to make some cutie Huainan gifs but I wanted to use YT because it has high quality but it has not been released there yet so I'm waitiiiiing. As I am waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiting for the next Eps.

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 8: The Man Trap

My mom and I started our long-overdue rewatch of Star Trek TOS (aka the best television show of all time) today so here are some liveblog-ish notes on 1x01 The Man Trap:

Kirk talking about Bones’s love life in his official log--so inappropriate. He’s such a gossip. I know this wasn’t intended to be the first televised ep but I love how he’s introduced being adorable and joking with his friend.

If Darnell thinks the young blonde woman is McCoy’s ex-girlfriend, he must assume that McCoy had a love affair with a literal child lol. Use your brain, boy. Darnell is who people who don’t like Kirk think Kirk is.

PLUM.

P L U M

Every single shot of Kirk is so romantic.

He knows all the regulations by heart. So far confirmed: gossip; romantic; nerd.

Oh no she ate Darnell.

Uhura is Certified Adorable.

Vulcan has no moon.

Spock is definitely undeniably worried that the killed crew member is Jim; I will not be taking criticism on this post. I feel so bad for him all the time. Everyone thinks he doesn’t feel but he Feels So Much. (This is going to be a comment on every single episode I can tell.)

Okay someone’s died so we’re done gossiping now.

They’re trying to figure out what happened to all the salt in Darnell’s body and I’m just like...... guys........ someone ATE the salt, obviously.

Everything Kirk says is flirty. “I’m not counting [your mistakes] Bones.” Certified bi because Shatner could not stop flirting.

“Stop thinking with your glands.” Lol.

It’s pretty hilarious that Yeoman Rand was eating Sulu’s food. And he didn’t notice.

That plant (Beauregard/Gertrude) is so obviously a hand in a puppet.

I find it so touching that Uhura wants to speak to someone in her native language. It doesn’t come up all that often but a lot of these people (arguably all of them, if you imagine as I do that “standard” and “English” are not synonymous) are not speaking their first languages most of the time.

Salt Monster McCoy!

They’re going into quarantine lol.

I get a lot of enjoyment watching Kirk and Spock run and hide and crawl among the sand and ruins.

I feel like Spock is getting way more distracted by the buffalo story than Kirk is.

I also get a lot of enjoyment out of the irony of this scene where everyone sits around talking about where the salt monster might be and she’s literally right there, discussing herself. Like I was also listening to the words, mostly, but I just was really tickled by the whole scenario.

That’s an interesting hypothesis FOR A SALT MONSTER.

I wonder how much stock to put into Kirk’s ideas about what Crater got out of his relationship with the salt creature. Is that just his opinion or is it supposed to be narratively true? Much to think about.

She ate Crater.... So much for needing love.

Spock goes absolutely feral every time Kirk is in danger. Every single time. Wild as hell.

You know I used to be moved by the buffalo comparison but now I think it's not really right. The buffalo are animals. The salt creature is more like a human. I assume they were the dominant life forms on the planet? The ones that built all the stuff?

This isn’t really a criticism of ST because I don’t do that but maybe it’s just easier for Crater, and Kirk et. al., to think about buffalo than to think about humans themselves dying out for lack of resources. If it’s hard to kill anything that’s the last of its kind, then it’s doubly hard to kill the last of a species that could have been humans themselves.

This story is really wild and it gets wilder the more you think about it. The archaeologist  wants to learn about a long dead civilization, except somehow one member of the civilization is still alive (not sure how since she needs so much salt) and she kills his wife and he's like 'okay I'll just marry the salt creature instead' and they just live together for a year.

I mean I guess another possibility is that the salt creatures weren't the ones who built the ruins and maintained the civilization, that they WERE like buffalo, but if this level of skill and intelligence is what their "animals" were like, then what could the "main" inhabitants have been? Like imagine Earth but everything is dead except one buffalo.

My mom and I were also wondering what happened to the salt. The whole planet looks very desolate. The ruins are big and occasionally ornate but also sparse--like there used to be a lot more. Maybe a totally different environment. Or possibly, the ruins are from an older civilization still, that did not overlap with the salt creatures. Alternately, they did overlap, in which case--what were the others like, to live with beings who can shapeshift, read minds, and hypnotize other beings. (Just immune?) Were they adversaries? Did they destroy each other?

The thing is there are many possibilities, because the planet is such an unknown. It doesn’t even have a real name. It’s quite a sad episode, really.

[chaosseeking]

complied list of some of my favorite cr2 moments as of ep 53

ashleys bubble gum pop to fabron

kiri says fuck tm

kiris get into trouble ft caleb the dad

anything with kiri tbh

jester giving nott flowers

nott giving yasha flowers

caleb and his lesbian squad wrecking lorenzos shop

the ruby of the sea jingle

the phil saga

“i hate it when phil ruins torturing hour”

jester asking pumat “will u take 5 gold off cuz u like me?”

the fact that it worked

nott vs the seagulls

kill seven birds with one crossbow

“no we’re on the planet”

the mighty nein pirate au but canon

how quickly the meeting that lead to their piracy turned

the poor guards who responded

“look, this this is a very confusing scenario. and we're trying to ascertain whats happening. they seem safe for now, but why did this dock explode“

fjord, the only member who knows how to fucking sail a ship just kinda leaving to go below deck when hes needed most

“i look like me but menacing”

caleb casting wall of fire

caleb counterspelling

fjord thunderstepping with caleb

fjords real accent coming out when caleb was downed

“i wait”

the entire avantica battle ep tbh

the plank king banashing them from dark tow as if that’s a bad thing lmao

“you said "how much?"”

orly babysitting sprinkle

the schridingers skeleton conversation

the daring trials and tribulations of sir taryon darrington

“i cast thaumaturgy and open all the windows”

“i cast thaumaturgy and close all the windows”

beaus “helphelphelphelphelp” whenever she gets arrested and walks past another member of tmn

npcs counting the number of people in the party every time tmn gives its name

“i have so many flowers to bring her”

calebs hourly updates in the tunnels

nott and jester stumbling over each others sentences when they “solved the case” of the fiend in the circus

not ate frumpkin

twice

“what are your names”

“shirley”

“temple”

“beau, same as him”

“beau”

caleb paying 8 silver so nott can eater the cucumbers from the water pitcher and steal a door nob

jesters “hey bitches i’m going to bed”

nott and her crossbow at the fair vs the guard who didnt want a little girl shooting something so dangerous

“i wouldn’t send 5000 gold in the mail. there’s people out there who steal the mail”

head whips to beau

beau, the garbage people’s rare cousin, the trash person

nott as fjords daughter

“can i have my allowance now”

“no you’ve been naughty”

notts flask and fjords “liberal” parenting

the whole “hello kiri. i am cali.” interaction

“only 56 more minutes til breakfast is ready“

calianas “im disappointed in you mr fjord”

“that means literally nothing to me”

kiri *stabbing the trolls dead body* “this means we are friends”

tmn first drinking dead people tea

“aren’t we all”

“i dont want to ride around in The Shit”

“youve been doing it for several months now jester”

caduceus going around to the rest of tmn asking if they have a plan only to be met with everyone individually responding with a resounding “no”

molly yeeting frumpkin the cat into the basement

beau yeeting frumpkin the owl off the ship

fjord “my balls are quite large” tough

“was I EATING CHEESE”

“also we're not just some dumbass crew he hired, we totally murdered all your guys”

“and you know what the craziest part is? we dont really know why we did it”

“we're a tolerant group” - the mighty nein, after jamming dead serpent people into holes to fill them

turn that problem into a problemtunity yall

beau and notts “daily prayers”

[12setsofchopsticks]

White Day 2019

Alrightty folks, it’s that time of the year again for my favorite holiday, WHITE DAY. Yes, again this year I have worked hard. I have spent the past several months meticulously crafting relationships, exceeding expectations, and perfecting my winged eyeliner and TODAY is the day that it all pays off. I made heart-shaped cookies for Valentine’s day again this year and coupled them with a personalized, hand-o-made-o heart-shaped cards of about the same size. As is the tradition, I will log the events of the day in real time as they happen. I am absolutely buzzing because I have high expectations and a good feeling about them.

Speaking of expectations, here is the forecast for White Day 2019:

Low chance of gifts from the English teachers as Vancouver sensei tends to forget and EPS tends to not care, BUT I WOULDN’T MIND BEING PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.

Will this be the third year in a row that I don’t receive a gift from my friend Dekashita sensei? PROBABLY.

Big hype for the third year teachers since we’re all buddies.

As a general rule, I think it is safe to expect gifts from all the teachers who have their Valentine on display.

Feeling confident that I will get gifts from a few teachers, like sumo sensei and softball sensei, since they have been consistent the past two years. Let’s see if this trend keeps up.

Shimichan is a bit of a wildcard this year, and I feel like he could go either way. What will happen? No one knows!

I was thinking to myself yesterday, “Lolen, what if your expectations are too high? What if, god forbid, you don’t receive ANY gifts?” The thought gave me a chuckle. There is no way. I am Lolen, the Beloved. I am a goddamn gaijin goddess and gifts WILL BE bestowed upon me on this day.

Wednesday, March 13th, 2019 – THE DAY BEFORE WHITE DAY

1:45 pm –I was caught off-guard while eating my lunch when a teacher has come over to give me my first white day gift! How delightful, I think, as I try to thank the teacher with a mouthful of salad. This is not my cutest moment.

Thursday, March 14th, 2019 – WHITE DAY 2019

8:25 am – I have arrived at school at precisely the time I am expected to. 

What they see: a beautiful blonde waltzing in to the teacher’s room. My hair looks good, eyeliner is looking sharp and, oh, could it be? Yes…! Her outfit even matches her nails! 

What they don’t know: ya girl stayed up too late watching Netflix the night before so she’s running off 5 hours of sleep and literally ran to catch the bus this morning. She is beauty, she is grace, she is out of breath. 

8:27 am – I reach my desk and sit down. There are four additional gifts that weren’t here before. This brings the total so far to five, before the bell has even rung! I have confidence that this will be a bountiful harvest.

8:35 am – There is a shuffle as teachers begin to get up and go to their first period homeroom class. Within the chaos, I feel a tap on my back. I turn around and, heavens to Betsy, can it be?? I can hardly believe my eyes that it is actually Dekashita sensei giving me a bag of chocolate! The two year curse has been lifted and my soul can finally be at peace.

8:45 am – Sumo sensei has just come over and dropped a literal handful of chocolate on to my desk. I will award an A for intent, but I have to give a C for execution because come on, my dude, at least put them in a lil baggy or something. Regardless, choco is choco and I will accept your offering graciously.

9:01 am – I have just received two more gifts within a few moments from each other; one from the teacher who sits behind me and the other from softball sensei. So far my predictions have been accurate…will EPS and Vancouver sensei defy my expectations and come through with gifts?? It’s the question on everyone’s mind!

9:07 am – In an interesting turn of events, one of the female P.E. teachers has just given me a gift! This sets a precedent for the women here at school, I am now expecting chocolate tokens of friendship from everyone.

9:50 am – My lovely supervisor came over to give me a little baggie of white day treats! A+ execution from an A+ supervisor, 10/10.

10:32 am – The morning is swiftly passing by. Currently, I have eleven gifts but I haven’t received any more in some time now and I am wondering if this may be it for me this year. There are a few teachers that I have been lowkey watching all morning to see if they will make their move. Like a cat in the shadows, I wait.

10:39 am – JUST as I was about to abandon hope, I am approached by the cute married teacher (he’s cute, he’s married, alas) and handed a nicely boxed gift. Extra bonus points since he spoke to me in English. I didn’t even know he spoke English, today is full of surprises.

10:50 am – I am rereading my post from last year. Boy, what a wild time 2018 was! But, I am noticing that amount of gifts I am receiving and the time at which I am receiving them is REMARKABLY SIMILAR. At 10:35 am last year, I also had 12 gifts. Everything is going according to plan.

10:55 am – Bobsled sensei has just given me a gift! As an interesting note, he has opted to give cookies as opposed to a more traditional chocolate confection. On second thought, this really isn’t all that interesting.

11:04 am – One of the female English teachers just came over to give me a very cute heart-shaped cake sort of thing. I have decided that this will be the first item I eat when the time comes.

11:25 am – I have fourteen gifts now. I am wondering if, out of all the teachers, I have the most gifts. I know it *shouldn’t* be a competition but I am absolutely *treating* it like one in the deepest narcissistic pit of my heart. I think I will walk around the teacher’s room later and take some cheeky peeks at the other teachers’ desks.

11:40 am – Another female P.E. teacher just gave me a nice gift, complete with an English note of appreciation! I seem to have made some new friends in the P.E. department with my cookies this year. Exciting times!

11:45 am – Oh, these are exciting times, indeed! Just now, I have received a gift from Kocho sensei, also known as the principal. Based on his status as principal-sama, I expect that these chocolates must be of the highest kocho quality. This brings my total now to 16. At this point, I am projected to top my number from last year.

11:55 am – I have not seen EPS all day, despite him being here today. Should I call the police? Send out a search party? I’m worried that he is lost or dead. Actually, he is dead. Dead to me until he gives me white day chocolates.

12:30 pm – Another gift from another P.E. teacher! It’s quite a large box as well. I seem to be popular with the P.E. department this year, with about 60% of the teachers reciprocating chocos. My hard work is paying off and my ROI is looking great.

12:35 pm – It’s time for lunch but I’m afraid to leave my desk in case someone steals one of my precious chocos. I feel a strange attachment to them, like a dragon jealously guarding her hoard. But alas—I must go, for I am hungry. Is it strange to go out and buy lunch when I probably have over $100 worth of gourmet chocolate on my desk? I make a mental note of exactly how many chocolates there are; I will not tolerate thieves!

1:45 pm – I’m back from lunch. All seems in order. I also used this opportunity to check out some other desks. I am the clear winner in this battle royale.

2:30 pm – It’s been quiet for a while now. BUT ACTUALLY, as I was typing this, another teacher came over to deliver a gift! CONFIRMED: I am a psychic.

3:30 pm – I was just beginning to think that the gift-getting might be finished, but to my surprise I have received another! It’s getting exhausting trying to keep track of all these gifts. Interesting note: despite all NINETEEN of the gifts that I have received today, I have yet to receive one from any of the male English teachers. Just so we are clear, there are FOUR of them. This must be what the sharp knife of betrayal feels like.

4:10 pm – I couldn’t wait any longer and I ate the heart-shaped cake sort of thing. It was a delicious choice. I also made the executive decision to put all of my snacks in my desk since 1.) I was running out of space on my desk and 2.) At this point it just looks like I’m bragging (I am). Furthermore, as I mentioned above, I have a zero tolerance theft policy and these are my loss-prevention measures.

4:12 pm – I ran out of space in my designated “snack drawer” so I had to take advantage of the space in my lesser-used “lesson plans” drawer.

4:15 pm – O shit waddup, ya girl is officially at TWENTY GIFTS!! My boi Shimichan pulled through in the homestretch. If I can get my-age amount gifts does that mean that this will be my golden year?

4:17 pm – Time is precious and there are only about 45 minutes left in the day. The guy in the office must have felt the minutes squeezing by, because he just came up and gave me gift number 21. There is still time for you, EPS!!

5:01 pm  – Well, it’s time to call it a day and head home. Overall, I have to say I am very pleased with the way this year turned out. Many of my predictions turned out to be true (LOOKING AT YOU, EPS), with the notable exception of Dekashita sensei who actually pulled through this year. Now all that’s left to do is to enjoy my snacks...all TWENTY ONE OF THEM!

5:30 pm – Just got home. Can’t wait to see what my real white date has in store for me tonight <3 

[todaysbiggesthits]

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2018:

Nasty: Hearing Red Eyes live. I've already said it on TBH, but seeing your favorite band in their relative prime is such a cool thing. 

BC: Since partying all night with my favorite band fell within the short window between Bestuv '17 ending and Bestuv '18 beginning, I'd have to say:

1. Kacey Musgrave's performance of "Slow Burn" on SNL

2. Radiohead perfectly executing "There There" which transported me back to Lollapalooza in '08 3. Despite the annoyance of sitting in lots of Indy500 traffic due to a new parking situation, I quite enjoyed working through half of the Stones' catalogue with Bronco riding shotgun and Codemin listening in from the flatbed of Dillon's pickup

Codem: Spending what was New Year's Eve for the central timezone in the USA at a Fijian medical bath facility listening to music, playing cards, downing tequeel and getting ringworm with my blushing bride. -hearing peter hook play the bass line from shadowplay live and in person. -Arden, JD and JJ encouraging me to go talk to Kyle from Swearin'. -Silver Jews and Westing (By Musket and Sextant) came to Spotify. -Watching "Random Rules" video for the first time

Larse: Sitting behind this massive (I mean orca fat) guy at the CHVRCHES show, feeling really bad for him before the show started because he was all alone and kept looking around and worrying about letting people in his row and things. As soon as CHVRCHES came on though, this guy was exactly where he was supposed to be that night. Sang the words and danced to every song and just made my day with how happy he was to be there. Jotted down every song of the setlist into his smartphone and just had an all around great time. And some of you motherfuckers won't even go to a movie by yourself!

JD: May: A moody Chinatown stroll with the new Grouper album in the rain. July: Soaking up some good tunes at the housewarming party to ring in our new pad. July: Some hilariously rambunctious youths having at it when “House of Jealous Lovers” came on during a full play of Compilation 1 at the DFA summer party. One of them (who must have been ~8 in the bygone days of 02) screamed out “this is the song that started it all!” to a crowd of stationary gawkers and I felt a brief moment of hope for the youngs. August: Shaking a leg at Pete’s wedding (also featuring a delightful hojl spin). September: A rowdy spin of “Sentient Oona” on the Levee juke with an impromptu digital jukebox dance party at the Turkey’s Nest with jj’s cousin and his lovely girlfriend. October: The best music cue I’ve ever seen at the end of Beau Travail.

Bronco: Taking John to his first concert, and that first concert was Mastodon. That was pretty awesome to be able to share that experience with him. He was super into it, and so were the metalheads at the show. "Dad of the Year" was definitely shouted more than a few times, and I thought to myself, "fuckin-A right."

Chap: My kids saying "Papa" when "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals comes on.

Best Shows Seen in 2018:

C: Open Mike Eagle at Pitchfork

Bronco: Sleep

Laser: CHVRCHES at Riverside Theater; Chromeo at Summerfest

BC: The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Radiohead

Nasty: The War on Drugs. 

Code: kraus - schubas peter hook - metro no age - the bottle swearin' - bowery eleanor friedberger - lincoln hall my bloody valentine - aragon "quickly climbing the ranks of my nice" ballroom kraus - the bottle pictureplane - bottom lounge soft moon - the bottle book of love - chop shop

JD: 1. Shame at Market Hotel 2. Hamilton Leithauser at the Carlyle Hotel 3. Beach House at United Palace Theater 4. The Voidz at Elsewhere 5. Parquet Courts’ Wide Awake! mid-day album release show with my morning coffee at Rough Trade

6. Flasher at St. Vitus 7. Deafheaven at Brooklyn Steel 8. Panda Bear at Brooklyn Steel 9. No Age at Brooklyn Bazaar 10. CCFX at the DFA summer party at Elsewhere with my girlfriend in full blown rem sleep standing up with her head on my shoulder 11. Alex Cameron at Warsaw 12. Gang Gang Dance and Interpol at House of Vans Of note: Dekkar at On Cinema Live at the Bell House.

Confession of 2018:

JD: I have a real TBH confession that I held until now. I was thoroughly enjoying the Flasher album on a recent evening after a few too many drinks when a burning urge to see them washed over me. They had a show coming up at a bar just a few blocks from my apartment, so I enthusiastically snapped up tickets for me and jj. Thinking this might be a good opportunity for a TBH outing, I emailed Chap trying to peer pressure him into attending the Flasher show and gauging his interest in a Parquet Courts concert that would be happening the following evening. No response.

We later received an invitation to a holiday cocktail party at a friend’s apartment on the same night as the Flasher show, and I hatched a cockamamie scheme to go from our home in Greenpoint to the party in Soho, leave after an hour to catch the concert back in Greenpoint, head back to the party in Soho, and finally retire back to Greenpoint. JJ wisely passed on such a scheme and I left the party to trek off to the concert solo with an extra ticket in tow. 

Awash in good cheer and excitement while Flasher set up, I thought what the hell, might as well take a flier on reminding Chap of the show. Maybe the twins are asleep, he’s just sitting around, can jump into a cab, claim the extra ticket, watch the show, and cruise on back. Mid-text I paused, wondering just why he never responded to the initial email weeks ago. A quick gmail search, and there sat my drunkenly composed beseechment to join, rotting in the drafts folder unsent. 

A couple of the dudes from Parquet Courts were bouncing around the bar, and I decided it would make more sense to hit up Chap about attending their show the next day than explain the whole snafu and extend a ludicrous invitation that required dropping everything and leaving immediately for a show he didn’t even know was happening. I ate the extra ticket, had a blast watching Flasher, zipped back to the party, drank myself into oblivion, and was way too hung over to even consider the Parquet Courts show the next day. NICK SORRY NICK! (editor’s note: too long)

Larson: I saw Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

BC: My neighbor invited me to see Imagine Dragons. I lied and said I had to travel for work. "On a Saturdee?" he inquired. "Yeah. Totally sucks," I awkwardly replied. I hid inside my house all weekend.

Bronco: I'd rather see shows by myself than with my buddy. He likes going to shows, and I keep inviting him, and we have a fine time, but he doesn't live in town anymore, so I gotta worry about him drinking too much and driving an hour home. And his wife is a psychopath and that complicates shit. Too much. And it's just so much more freeing being able to not give a fuck about anyone else during that time, to just soak it all in, it feels good and right.

Codem: -despite all of the bad things that kanye said, i still liked listening to his catalogue throughout the year. i even liked his EP that came out in 2018.   -i really liked the beach house album!   -i liked the snail mail album, skipped two opportunities to see her and then by --the end of the year, i thought the album was sort of boring.   -Arden and i went to see pictureplane open for alice glass and thought that the show sucked and pictureplane played such stupid songs. three months later, he put out my favorite album of the year and i can't stop thinking that i hated all of the same songs the first time i heard them. -i read an article on a bright fall saturday morning that exhaustively detailed the Cardi B and Nicki Minaj feud and i watched all of the instagram story clips that showed Cardi B scrolling through her phone with those outlandish nails of hers. it took me two cups of coffee to get through it all, but get through it i did. [i couldn't think of nicki minaj's name just now so i stared at the ceiling and kept running through names in my mind's eye: missy, kim, cardi, kelis, kim??, eve, trina. i couldn't remember. so i finally googled "kanye monster" and found her name. easy.]

Nasty: I'm done with new music. It’s over. I didn't listen to a single new album - I don't even know if I could name a new album. Realistically, I did like Daytona. 

Biggest Disappointment of 2018:

Nasty: MAGA Kanye

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Bronco: Black Tusk, Alice in Chains

BC: Getting into The Orwells literally two days before #MeToo chewed 'em up and spit 'em out

Chap: Car Seat Headrest. Can't believe he's gay! jk the album was the disappointment.

Code: -somebody hacked my spotify account and wiped all of my music and replaced it with raggaeton and halsey. i was able to get my music back, but i lost all of my meticulously cared for folder structure. -i wanted the simple minds album to be cool; it was not.   -i wanted the swearin' album to be really great; it was okay. -pictureplane and ovlov did not tour their albums.   -i had to eat two tickets to my bloody valentine after buying four. the original show sold out and i thought i was going to be able to sell my extras for a profit -- they ended up announcing a second show and there was no secondary market for the original show.   -no CCFX followup ):  

JD: Got to Hammerstein Ballroom for MBV and there was a line longer than an entire avenue. They were already on by the time we made it into the heinously oversold venue and we were stuck by the bar in the lobby surrounded by people constantly shouting in an effort to compete with the apocalyptic noise.

C: Terrible sound at Tame Impala show

Most Overrated of 2018:

Code: -probably that kacey musgraves album; i got absolutely nothing out of it. also, i liked the robyn album, but i wanted to love it after many years between releases. i think i'm just being greedy.   -i'm going to get killed for this, but the throwing the baby out with the bathwater approach to artists' criminal behavior or inflammatory tweets is pretty overrated right now. 

Bronco: Ghost - I like their schtick, with rotating members and the whole inverted church thing. It's campy but they're sticking to it, and that's fine, but their music isn't metal. It's poppy glam shit about the devil, and that's also fine, but I don't get why it's on anyone's list. Production value maybe? But the music itself isn't anything to write home about. I just don't get it.

JD: n/a. The thick layer of nonsensical, Pynchonian obfuscation the platform economy dollops over everything has made it impossible to understand how anything is rated. Almost feel bad for the click driven publications that have to just throw out a guess.

C: Mitski

Chap: Snail Mail

BC: Kanye. His new music is no longer good enough to put up with his bufoonery.

Laser: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Nasty: Clemson. GOARSH. 

Make It Stop 2018:

Nasty: DJT, anytime now. 

Bronco: Party politics. No more labels allowed. You can have a list of stuff you support and a list of stuff you are against, but that's fucking it. No more this side vs that side for reasons as caddy as an R vs. a D. Also religion having any influence whatsoever in the way our country is run. Believe whatever you want to believe, but don't force your bullshit on anyone else. You want to torment yourself with a lifelong christian guilt trip, that's your boat to float, but don't go poking holes in my boat just because you're a miserable fuck. Just stop. Also, Jack White.

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Chap: Baby Shark

BC: My shrinking attention span

JD: The cultural currency of clapbacks, shade, and tea.

Code: trap music playing from a phone's external speaker while i'm trapped on public transportation.  i'm going to go broke buying enough earbuds to distribute to these offenders.

Biggest TBH Regret of 2018:

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

C: Not seeing Low at a church on University of Chicago's Campus

JD: -Hearing about a Grouper show at a church around the corner from my pad after it sold out. -Not necessarily a regret because I didn’t know it was happening, but oh how I wish I had seen Jon Glaser and Jon Benjamin as Dave Farina and Dave Franz, Dennis and Dennis’ sons, at a Bowery Ballroom Yo La Tengo show.

BC: -I wish I would've cooked up a way to see Shame play a midnight show in Bloomington.  I just want that kid to scream "Concrete" in my face. -I probably should've seen Smashing Pumpkins when they rolled through town too. 

Code: my flight got delayed and i missed the swearin' show at that place in brooklyn that "smelled like hot fish"

Bronco: Not a regret so much as I was super-bummed when High on Fire dropped out of the tour I saw in November. The venue we were at put my buddy and I right next to the stage. It would've been crazy awesome to see HOF there, but they've rescheduled at least, and I'll see them in January.

Bin: I haven't listened to any Kanye this year. I thought it would feel gratifying by year end - it doesn't. I'll probably still avoid this most recent album, but I'm going back to the well. I'll continue to talk shit about him though. Take that Ye!

Chap: No regrets 

Detective Murtaugh of 2018:

Larse: Getting too old to keep up with all of this new music and put a worthwhile list together at the end of the year…

Nasty:

Code: i added book of love show to my top ten concert list because Arden and i were able to take a seat on the ground in the balcony section. we had to continually move our spot on the floor to be able to peer through the railing and a mass of bodies in order to catch a glimpse of the stage.

JD: -Two of my favorite music related experiences of the year were seeing Hamilton Leithauser in the cafe of the Carlyle Hotel and the extended Niles family in The Nutcracker at the NYC Ballet. -When I googled “Detective Murtaugh” just now it was mostly pictures of Damon Wayans (Jr. no less!) playing the role on the Lethal Weapon CBS series.

Bronco: Putting up with shit instead of speaking up about it. There's room on the train but I'm squished by the door because some self-absorbed dinks won't move in? "Could you please move in?" It sounds so simple, but breaking that silence barrier was a scary thing. Now I don't give a shit. I'm on train for two stops, and I'm not going to see you again, so fuck you, move in or I'm going to move myself in and it aint gonna be pleasant for you.

Chap: A hipster female barber said I was a silver fox. AYFKM?

BC: What the hell is Fortnite?

Resolution for 2018 Update:

Larse: get my list in on time! How it went: probably horseshit! (editor’s note: it was early yet!)

NACK: While I didn’t have the occasion to catch shows this year, I anticipate doing so in '18 due to some changes afoot. How it went: Joe Dons has yet to let me know of a concert going on and I have no other friends here, so I blame him for my failure

Bin: I’m just going to keep saying “get to NY for a show with JD” until I make it happen. How it went: Didn't get to NY for a show with JD.

JD: See you gents more often with or without a show attached.  How it went: Fairly decent, but is it really ever enough?

Bronco: Get in shape. I want to stick to a schedule of running all year round. I ran a 10K back in June, then needed to recover for a bit, been recovering ever since…Fat Dad needs to keep running all year round without excuse, especially given that we go skiing between Xmas and New Year’s and I’m gonna be a floppy legged mess. During those runs, I’ll try to listen to new material each time. How it went: I ran a 5-miler in May. Haven't run since. Though I have been reasonably consistent with my prison workout (situps and pushups before bed time), so now there's a hint of muscle under my fat dad layer. Just gotta combine the two now somehow.

Code: make more playlists for my wife How it went: i said that i was going to make more mixes for my wife. i made one year-end mix for her and i'm sure she's loving it :*

BC: No more resolutions How it went: 2018 Resolution was "No More Resolutions," so pretty darn good!

Resolution for 2019:

Laser: ---

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it.

Bronco: Read more 'classic' books. I didn't read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I'm leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics'. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I'm feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert

Nasty: I'm sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year.

Most Anticipated of 2019:

Bronco: Tool. Fifth year's the charm. I'm actually hopeful this time around. In fact, I half expect them to drop it on New Year's Eve or something, just so it's post Listicle season, but not quite 2019 so it can't end up on those lists either. They're such dicks like that.

BC: Still waitin' on dat Vampire Weekend yet

Chap: Vampire Weekend, Chromatics

C: Lin Manuel in Mary Poppins... I kid, My Bloody Valentine

JD: Going to put Frank Ocean out into the universe, MBV take 2, Grimes, Panda Bear, Kanye’s escape from the Black Lodge

Codem: chromatics - tommy, MBV, washer, colleen green, EMA(?), DoM

Laser: no idea what's even on the docket

Nasty: Mueller's Report

[belovedchildofthehouse]

1/26/21 - Day 26

I woke up nice n early around 8:30 finally.. Made myself eggs and avocado on toast and it was yummyyy. Showered n all that. I think I actually did a pretty good job of staying focused on work today also? I took the l-theanine supplement and had a cup of nasty coffee and I did feel Calm and Stable and I was able to really bust out the 3 walk cycles really quickly, even though I had originally allotted like 3 days to get those done. So now I’m ahead of schedule for this week’s tasks but... I still have to catch up on that one scene from last week which I am Definitely stalling on cause it’s just such a COMPLEX and TEDIOUS scene and I don’t wanna do it fdhfdhf. 

Anyway, since I finished the tasks I needed to do for the next few days I ended work a bittt early. Albany messaged me out of nowhere with just a kosmi link so I clicked it aND THAT HORRIBLE SONG FROM RETURN OF THE JEDI IMMEDIATELY STARTED PLAYING THE SECOND I GOT INTO THE KOSMI ROOM YOU KNOW THE ONE. I’M TALKIN BOUT MAX REBO’S YELLING SONG WITH THAT LADY UGHFHFDHS. I laughed so hard. After that they just were pulling up old nostalgic stuff like CD rom games n such. While they put stuff on I decided to start doodling an animation of a lil jester person. I haven’t animated for fun in a long time it feels like.. but I was Pleased enough with how it was turning out. 

After hanging with Albs for a lil bit I got hungry and heated up some food and practiced piano while I waited it to heat up on the stove lmao. Chopin is getting Smoother but I’m still feeling like I’m not quite there in terms of dynamics and emotion and performance n stuff.. hhhhh. Anyway, while I ate I decided to watch the first ep of the 33rd season of Survivor since that’s the one The Gang just started watching yesterday, and since I can’t come over till after Galveston I’m gonna be watching alongside them and live tweeting (messaging) my reactions LOL. So far it seems like a really fun season. I was spamming Sid while I watched haha. 

Once I finished the two episodes (now I’m all caught up) I went to sit down at my work station and literally thought to myself “dang I haven’t done anything or seen anyone today, what am I gonna take a picture of for my 365 thing” aND I SHIT U NOT LINDSEY TEXTED ME 5 SECONDS AFTER THAT asking if I wanted to go on a walk. So she came down with Winn and we did our usual route. I stopped by the house afterwards to say hi to Lou and then came back home to play some .... Hades..... just 3 rounds but it was like 3 hrs total hah. I GOT CLOSE AGAIN HHHHHH. Fuckin Hades. 

[myechoecho]

Just Between Lovers, ep 7

Since it doesn’t look like the sub for ep 8 will be up tonight, I might as well do this now.  I prefer to do it by episode anyway,

Gang Doo and Moon Soo

These two are killing me, I swear.

So after staying with her at the pier, she takes his hand and they just stand there for a moment.  We also see that when he put his coat on her, he wanted to touch her hair but couldn’t bring himself to while she was not quite as asleep as he thought she was.  On this bus, he thinks about the kiss and awkwardly tries to find out if she remembers by some ridiculous idea of smaller head = less space to remember things and her response with her many “mes”.

They both take care of each other on the bus. It’s lovely to see them slowly opening up to each other.  Moon Soo tells him about her sister; Gang Doo tells her about his dad.  And later, Moon Soo talks about her sister while he talks about his dad (and soccer).  I get the feeling that they don’t talk about their loved ones often.  They only open up so far as Gang Doo avoids her question about him playing soccer and neither have said anything about the accident.  That will come. 

I love seeing that they want to spend time together.  They both went to each other’s houses.  When Gang Doo realized she was at his house, he RAN back to his house. Moon Soo gets caught in a lie when she says that she ate but then admits she wanted to eat with him. Gang Doo lies when her mom asks if he was there earlier.

They were both scared when the other was hurt.  Moon Soo literally inspects Gang Doo and flat out says she was really scared.  Gang Doo does not quite know what to do with that information but reassures he that he is okay. When Moon Soo hurts her head; it’s his turn to be scared.

It’s also important that he learned her not remembering might not be her choice.  He pays attention when he realizes that she does remember the story he told her when they were trapped even if she doesn’t remember where she heard it. We see a bit more how truly traumatized Gang Doo because he is haunted by the boy (Moon Soo’s crush) that was trapped. My heart broke at seeing him in such turmoil at the bottom of the stairs.  And them him asking if she was okay (when he’s clearly not), asking how she’s okay and then holding on to her for comfort.

My theory (right now) is that Gang Doo was forced to make a choice. Based on what he said to Moon Soo eariler and what bits we’ve seen, I think it was a situation similar to a drowning person. You know if someone is downing and panicking, they may take you down with them unless you get away from them. Gang Doo had to do something to survive, but it has haunted him ever since.

Yoo Sin and Joo Won

I’m still not really invested in their story. Joo Won did not show the best of himself this week, with how he acted with this mom and Yoo Sin. I’m somewhat indifferent to Yoo Sin, seeing her throw Joo Won out made me like her more.  She did not deserve to be treated like that.

Granny and Ma Ri

I was right about the Grandma having cancer.  This is going to hit Gang Doo hard.  And I guess he’ll be angry with this sister when he finds out that she knew (you know he’ll find out).  As for Ma Ri, I’m a bit disappointed in her.  She seems to have developed some feelings for the man baby Yoo Taek.  I think she could do better than him.

Can’t wait for the subs for the next episode.

[shytiff]

Small Oct Wins

1 - DL, its bts week on fallon 🥰🥰also chuseok, which means content >>>, cicil dk ikk, rapat sponsor and talked and raged with regen abt mpi and manhwa lmao, group call shiko

2 - DL, finished 4 dk ikk wow!!, read dear door sampe ujung

3 - DL, symptoms ipd WHILE trying to losten to resus cairan fkdigital and i failed to listen to fkdigital lmao in the beginning they talked abt different fluids, my kompre is in Nov!! Can take a slight breath of air. Cicil kompre

4 - DL, symptoms, ordered krispy face (tasted so so), started reading sign, its so hilarious but the antagonist just doesnt make sense. too dysfunctional

5 - DL, ea simulation (got cushing syndrome, yay us for rosc!), forgot my scrub pants so i borrowed from indah, the way back homd (PP motor) was hooot, cicil banifidi, talked with ara for 1,5 hrs abt mental health and past traumas lmaoo

6 - DL, cicil geri, read raise ga wa tanin ii

7 - formatif geri, originally meant to go to puri with atikah to get seirockya, but its closed. So we walked to lippo, got genki sushi takeaway, walked to carrefour where we parked, and on the way back atikah had this sudden idea of eating @ taman 45. So we did. We reminisced old memories while eating rice bowls and sushi at park. Sounded pretty great except its taman 45 lmaoooo. Took a nap at atikahs place and then i went back. Tried matcha cookie by Chips Chat Lexley, its too crumbly :(( the taste was so so

8 - was sooo drained i dunno why. Slept and lazed around until 11-ish after i managed to shower and eat. Rip stamina. DL. Formatif with stella manda, dr asti and dr fuady. Digorenggg. the dark chocolate cookie tasted quite good. Finally a cookie that did not fail

9 - helped ical and ara for simul kompre, e, DL, played among us with candra and solid, paused the game to do formatif ea lmao. i need to studyy aaa

10 - DL, my body felt tooo drained from 1 (one) exercise lol. Symptoms. Ordered mujigae and janjiw caramel latte 1L because 10 10 promo. lazed all afternoon. planned to run because it’s cloudy but wacana is life. Watched MOTS On:E with racheel. Gladi resik nemo. Saw hakken cosplay’s IG live. among us. i was an impostor with cibe (participant: 10) and i somehow won lmaoo. edited 2 pld article so i finally caught up! just need to wait some more articles from reporter

11 - DL, symptoms, wasted my time rereading vampire knight for the n-th time

12 - DL, QA KMKP, read banifidi while drinking janjiw caramel latte and on god coffee rly helps me to focus and not get sleepy, talked with ara abt her session with dr jiemi (emotion vs cognition)

13 - DL, there’s no class today uye, drank caramel latte janjiw at 11am and yall i somehow became productive. finished reading banifidi, 2Padi. 

14 - Became captain at simul today, kasus HPP, i forgot to put O2 wtf :((((, bought 2 1-L package from sbux dm after school, and with +15k you get green tea frappe so i sat there for a bit for DT, felt a bit better (like im a normal functioning person???? like i dont feel sluggish). cicil IKK, passed lvl 4 DL

15 - DL, nemo as 2nd operator, vanilla latte nyom, thats all folks unfortunately

16 - DL, theres no schedule today, woke up at 10 am, vanilla latte and cicil PT, cicil IKK (only did a bit today), among us and i was the impostor 4 times lmaoo

17 - symptoms, in the soop 7, e, read on/off its too hilarious!! Finished 1 sitasi kompre

18 - last in the soop ep :(, e, DL, tugas kasus harian geri

19 - DL, the table i bought has arrived!, cicil IKK, joined ukmppd course, started at 18:30, its now 22:36,  still 14 questions to go... 

20 - DL, qa discussion with group, bought some plastic shoe boxes online, its cheap and it is great, bcs my shoes used to sit there in plastic bags, organized some stuff in my room for a bit!! my metal rack looks less messy yay. dk ikk, les

21 - Started my day early (finished shower by 7:30), DL, finished 1 ltm ikk and 1 sitasi PT, JK went live in youtube with his long hair and undercut, and literally afterwards YG came on vlive playing guitar. Its a good day indeed :”) its cloudy today, just a perfect shared to listen to youtube’s lofi study playlist. Barely paid attention in today's les, i rly need to reread the forensic one

22 - DL, formatted qa docx, looong qa zoom, read the dops form, tidied up my stuff for tomorrow and while waiting for les the dumbass me didnt realize that the mic is on and i muttered "masker n95..." lmaoooo. Paid attention in les. Took a shower while leaving the zoom (q&a sesh) and turns out its finished at 22:45. Yalll the tutors dedication though

23 - simul, waited around a bit, bought halo bowl from grab since im at school all day, tried chicken pesto. made me feel full, tasted like a typical "healthy food", not too oily. OK in the afternoon, did not get dops (not surprised), was today years old when i found out you can park motorbike beside gedung putih. Went home while listening to kuliah guru besar. Passed out in the 2nd part of les (bedah). That adds more of my course debt lmao

24 - Im trying out habitica now so DL documentations will be moved theree, trying to add the habit of reading quran. watched in the soop behind and dalbang, watched the social dilemma halfway (message: careful of being the social media’s product), ate nayam, slept again and woke up at 5 pm, made status anes, les (the freshest ive been so far. maybe because its saturday night, there’s only about 25+ participating until the end from the usual 50+)

25 - woke up early and showered, slept again, ate breakfast at 12 pm with banana and 2 brownies i need sugaar, reviewed forensics (les), made half of ltm ikk wow im kind of proud, submitted asinkronus, eval nemo

26 - icu and simul, the way back home was pleasantly cloudy, slept and woke for les, read anti PT and oh my assisant since i cant sleep during the night

27 - did ikk ppt, read TO SOLID answers (i got 65 and i feel sooo stupid, but the grade somehow changed to 66 which means pass), slepttt during the afternoon, dk ikk was pending bcs dr Indri was still doing surgery at 18:00. Les

28 - Felt like doing nothing. Watched the latest dalbang, PT briefing, dk ikk, les. Thats it omgggg my time keeps flying away

29 - Started my day early (6:30am) since i slept all the time :):):)), finished 1 ltm ikk, tried truffle belly, the nanban one. good enough and the rice is not too much which is nice. i dont rly know how the truffle oil’s supposed to smell (ive tried tubo before but i still have no idea). chose wahana choice for MPI (bismillah!!), finished reviewing TO SOLID 1, les

30 - it took me a whole day to read 1 (one) sitasi PT but im still proud nonetheless, how did time flyyyy tf. You’d think that this 5 day “holiday” i would learn a lot for kompre (haven’t started) and quickly checked off my to do list. for les i pulled the table near my bed so i was half listening half reading Private Lesson while laying down lmao

31 - checked 2 acads to do (i feel like when i do things in advance there will be stuff that make me go "ah tau gt nanti aja"), bingeing romee strijd's YouTube and its miracle i dont feel like shit after watching it (they literally go do amsterdam from sg to put their bags and then theyll go to miami?!), afternoon nap coz i cqnt bring myself to study kompre, cicil kompre bismillah.docx, last day of les (im not strong enough to follow until the end, bailed halfway), read a bit of blood link lmao, WTF ITS NOV 15 MINS FROM NOW :((( (writing this after sheetmasking, its 23:42) still not prepared for ukmppd kompre God Help Me

And thats it for Oct! I feel like there were some terrible mood phases, some ok ones, and those rare days when im up and about and refreshed and feel like doing things (most days im a sloth). Hope to do (and feel) better in Nov

[iknownothingihearnothing]

Sense 8 Recap: “Obligate Mutualisms”

us

A lot of the titles this season are like WHAT. I had to look back at the episode a few times to make sure I was spelling it right and this coming from a Grammar Nazi. Truly, certified. Sieg Spellcheck!

I love that gif. I plan to use it as much as possible. I believe every Nazi should stop murderin’ and xenophobin’ to eat a banana every now and then.

Alrighty then--

--so we ended episode 1 with Will uttering his amazing (and, if you happen to be Whispers, pants-shitting) line--

“You think you’re hunting us? We’re coming for YOU.”

And Whispers himself also concluded the episode looking like someone had stuck some Milk of Magnesia in his coffee. 

Thus, allow us to get to this rather confusigly titled second offering of the season, shall we?

We open up in the interrogation room place. Whispers is there and he doesn’t look pleased. Like, at all. 

However, Will does. In fact, he’s even freshly shaven because he’s been sleeping so well, what with the lack of Whispers haunting his dreams. Will has come to gloat. And he looks like the cat that ate the canary.

And the sensates are all there as well, drinkin’ up. They’re celebrating; they owe it to themselves. All the while, Will is describing the *sad trombone* look on Whispers’ face. 

Will knows he totally has the upper hand here. He’s not at all threatened. And Whispers knows it too. He even tries to do the classic villain-is-fucked tactic by insinuating that he and Will aren’t so different after all.

Will, of course, is having none of it.

Whispers, in his desperation at being cornered, mentions something about how no “sapien” has ever had as much in common with him as Will does. What, does he wanna bro it out now? “A little senorium pride?” Will asks.

Gorski. Will Gorski. 

Will knows Croome is there, hiding behind the mirrored wall in the interrogation room. Just to show he means biznezz, he has Nomi, Neets, and Bug find out that he recently sent his aunt a large get well bouquet. Will tells Whispers to inform Croome he hopes his aunt feels better, which he does. Furthermore, they discover he sent another bouquet to a woman named Rita. His wife’s name is Claire. 

That has Croome bursting into the room, of course. He doesn’t want Claire to find out about Rita, you naughty boy. Will has demands. He wants a meeting with Croome. And sans Whispers/Milt/Matheson/Gibbons. 

Damn, Whispers has a lot of monikers. Why do evil dudes have so many damn names? Can’t they just go by Bob or something to make it easier for us recappers?

“Hi, I’m Bob and I’ll be capturing, killing, and turning you into a zombie today.”

Since Croome cannot see or hear Will, Whispers must play a game of psychic telephone and relay the info. Whispers claims what Will wants is impossible. Nomi fires off a text to Croome.

Complete with emojis.

I guess in this context it wouldn’t make sense. I mean, “We want Gibbons on poop” sounds weird. Hilarious but weird. 

Nomi fired off that text fast, man. IDK about y’all, but when I use emojis and “+” and stuff, I’m fumbling all thumbs.

Anyway, Croome agrees, telling Whispers that he exaggerated his necessity at BPO. Whispers-hype. Some of those creepy hazmat suit guys storm in, inject something into Whispers’ neck, and he’s carted out protesting. He’s gone but it’s only ep 2 so we know he’ll be back.

Meanwhile, our heroes are celebrating with some fun in the sun in Amsterdam. Yet, the lovely, shiny scene contrasts wildly with the realty Sun is in--trapped in a harsh women’s prison in Seoul for a crime she didn’t commit. Laying on the floor in her underwear smiling, her neighbor asks her if she’s dreaming about getting out. Since she cannot explain further without sounding insane, she says yes.

Everyone’s in a good mood after serving Whispers his ass, it seems, including Lito. He comes waltzing into his agency, all smiles, ready to tackle his next project after his last movie flopped. Unfortunately, there is bad news. Lito’s “people” tell him that the offer’s been rescinded due to the enacting of a so-called “morals clause”. 

Gawddang, are people really so iffy about homosexuality in Mexico? So he’s gay! Who cares? 

But now I think...would a renown action star here in the US who just came out of the closet face the same animosity? Maybe not to the extent Lito’s enduring, particularly now with the Diversity Revolution and the Woke Generation, but...yeah, I can see situations like this one arising. Quite a few of them.

In San Fran, Nomi is shaving her legs while Neets is doing her lashes and Nomi suggests a night out to “feel normal again” while in Seoul a bunch of guards burst in to the prisoner’s sleeping cell place and take Sun. She appears before Nomi, who is dressed to the nines to go out, and begs for help.

This ain’t good.

Yeah, apparently those guards aren’t even from that prison.

This is BAD, you guys.

So, instead of going out, the three hackateers break into the Seoul Women’s Correctional Facility’s computer system to get eyes on Sun. But right when she and the non-guards are about to enter this weird room, the camera goes dark. 

Nomi screams at her NOT to enter that damn room at all costs.’

I said this when I was live-tweeting (sorta, as you can’t really live-tweet binge-watching) this episode. Sun was a Potential Slayer activated when Willow did her scythe-y spell. 

But they taze her, and when they do, all of the Amazing 8 feel it. She’s escorted into this room where a noose waits to suffocate her to death and, in the ensuing scuffle, it briefly manages to do so, almost killing her as well as the rest of the sensates, until her friend from the cell, the one who killed her abusive husband, stabs one of the non-guards.

When Sun thanks her, she gets one of the best lines of the episode, explaining that when they took her, she saw the same look in their eyes as that in her bastard husband’s.

Sun replies, “No, they won’t.” You bet your ass.

Never underestimate the power of a pissed off woman.

With Will’s help, Sun easily frees herself of the handcuffs. And Bug’s gonna hack into the prison security system. He’s gonna make it sing “Born Free”.

I *really* wanted to use a GIF of the snakes from the “Whacking Day” Simpsons episode slithering off into the sunset here but I couldn’t find one that loaded correctly on tumblr *grumblegrumbletoilandtrouble* so this will have to suffice.

So Sun and her friend sneak out, Sun knocking out any guards along the way. The only vehicle in the lot is a bus, which makes Capheus giddy. I like Giddy!Capheus. Our resident criminal, Wolfie, steps in to hotwire the thing, and they’re off. 

At the intercom, Lito uses his acting abilities to help Sun get the fuck outta Dodge.

Lito is a good liar. I guess it’s a must for an actor. I admire that. I’m also a good liar. Thinking on your toes and all that. It’s gotten me out of more jams than I care to admit to. 

I really cannot believe there’s an intercom. Do all prisons have intercoms? It almost looks like a drive-thru. “Yes, I’ll have the #2 combo meal with the medium Coke. And an apple pie. Also, tell the warden I’ve got the Midtown Murderer in the trunk.”

It works. They’re free!

Too bad computers and hackers weren’t really a thing back then. 

My German Hottie Wolfie and Will point out that they’re only free in the very narrow sense. It won’t be long until the cops discover the breakout. Soon, barricades will be set up all over Seoul. Helicopters will be on their asses. 

I think it helps muchly that, inside this particular cluster, we have both a former cop and thief. Two perspectives on how to approach a situation like this. 

So they ditch the bus and go car “shopping” in a nearby lot. Again, with the help of Wolfgang, Sun breaks into some less obvious vehicle and the other lady--I keep forgetting her name--wonders aloud how the hell a banker’s daughter knows how to be a car thief. Sun answers “other lives”. 

While they’re all arguing over where the hell to go, Other Lady Whose Name I Forget tells Sun that she has a friend in the area, one she trusts with her dang life.

Cut to--

--and Felix. They’re just coming out of an elevator in some fancy-schmancy building in Berlin. They’re to sign some papers for club ownership. From one Sebastian Fuchs.

Yeah, I’m gonna gigglesnort every time I have to type up that surname, I’m sorry. In my head, I keep mispronouncing it FUCKS. 

Finding the correct “look at all the fucks I give” GIF--I originally had two others, but neither would load correctly so I literally have three GIFs saved on my laptop labeled “fucks″, “fucks2″, and “fucks3″.

I hope my brother doesn’t go sneaking on my computer searching for porn. He’ll be vastly disappointed. 

Sebastian invites them in, where he pauses his FAFSA game. He owns a couple players in the league, which, to me, sounds kinda...slave-y. He’s interested in talent, not teams, which is why he’s intrigued by Wolfgang. They have a beer, and he introduces his “extraordinary right hand”.

Meet the right hand:

Aaaaaaaaand Wolfie’s reaction to said right hand:

Look, the guy may be in love with Kala, but he’s still, you know, a *guy*. 

Sebastian introduces her as Lila Facchini, from Naples. Felix is obviously thunderstruck even further when he discovers her Italian heritage. The Germans and Italians were allies in WWII, but only because of Mussolini, and after Italy surrendered to the Allies, Italy was officially declared “conquered” by Germany. At least until they were pushed back outta there. So while there was HELLA resistance among the Italian peoples against the Germans during WWII, they couldn’t resist a purdy Italian lady. Nor could a purdy Italian lady resist a strong, hot German man in uniform. Not that I can blame her. I’m Jewish and I’d be like “Yeah, k, I surrender. Just kiss me already, Leutnant.” 

While everyone’s talking around the coffee table, Wolfie’s standing there looking all skeptical and suspicious when--gasp--Lila mind-flirts with him. She’s a sensate. 

And, I mean, she is really laying it on thick. Totally doesn’t believe in hard to get.

He’s looking down at her a cross between “Dafuq” and “I...did not see this meeting going this way and am quite intrigued.”

Wolfie sinks down into a chair, all hot and bothered, while Lila mind-gropes him. In *his* vision, though, to Felix, Wolfgang looks like he’s either about to sprout a massive Washington Monument or throw up.

Lila is totes fine.

We take a bit of a sidetrack to Nairobi to check in with Capheus. There/s a major water problem in the area. The price of fresh water keeps climbing. It’s a brief scene, so you know it will be important later.

Out on the terrace, Wolfie, Felix, Lila, and Sebastian are having dinner while Lila continues to mind-molest Wolfie. He does not seem to mind. They’re talking about business--money laundering and stuff--while Lila and Wolfgang basically have mind-sex in front of Felix and Sebastian and they have no idea. 

Checking in with Lito, Hernando, and Dani, our threesome are looking for a new place. Unfortunately, the place they like is twice their spending limit. But they can all fit in the tub! That means they have to buy it! It’s fate!

The universe’s sign that you must have something is when you can fit in it. Just ask a cat.

Next scene, Sun and Ming-Jun (THAT’S her name!) are covertly and not at all suspiciously sneaking into the friend’s apartment for the next few nights.

Will and Riley are going to meet Jonas at the train station...though they have no idea why Jonas would prefer to meet there of all places. Riley vows to keep an eye on Will while he meets Jonas on the bridge--and when they come in contact, Will realizes that Jonas is hooked up just like that Zombie Drake dude in his dreamemory was. Jonas is amazed that Will himself could come in contact with Whispers and live.

Oh yeah, he did more than that. Booya!

Whoa, okay, lots of info now. So he tells Will of his father giving birth--yes, his FATHER, somehow, which does nothing but remind me of Lorne’s mother from Angel--

Numfar! Do dance of joy!

(Sorry y’all. That cracks me up every time.)

Where was I? Oh yes. So apparently sensates can give birth at any gender. And at any age. That is why BPO is hunting them, the population growth. 

Additionally, Jonas and Angelica had a relationship and spawned a cluster of their own.

So two sensates need to make a cluster? What if only one’s a sensate? Will there be a half a cluster? Or a half a...person? A homo-sapsorium? 

Angelica makes all these babehs who grow up to be homo sensorium themselves but there’s one guy who doesn’t particularly like his fate. He’d rather be “normal”, whatever that means. In fact, he prays for BPO to find him.

His name is Todd. I think we’re starting to understand Angelica’s motives for partnering (and “partnering”) up with Whispers now.

One by one, every one of those babehs disappeared, the last being this dude Raoul from Mexico, a reporter. Lito figures right quick that Jonas is talking about Raoul Pasquale, who interviewed him once. 

He also “interviewed” him once.

Get it? Cus they hooked up!

More creepy hazmat suit guys come downstairs to visit Jonas and just before they shoot him up with meds, he tells Will that he needs to be wary of Croome, that he’s like a lizard or something.

Now we’re at the apartment of Ming-Jun’s friend. All three are eating truly delicious looking Korean food and I throw down my frozen corndog, glaring at it as if it did something wrong.

We learn she was in prison because her husband killed himself leaving behind a bunch of gambling debts, much like Rose’s father in Titanic. ‘Cept, there was no Leo waiting for her, just a bunch of “holidays” to Japan she had to take to smuggle drugs over the border. On the tenth trip, the cops were waiting for her. When she got out of the clink, her son had no idea who she was, and is still ashamed of his drug smuggling mother. 

Will is meeting Croome in Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum. There, they sit in front of Rembrant’s The Night Watch. I know because I googled it. Yeah, I’m no art historian. I can name more facts and figures about the Second World War than a text book and know all the capitals of every US-recognized country in the world (thanks, Sporcle!), but art history is beyond me. I know Rembrandt cut off his ear for a chick, though. Dude, haven’t you ever heard of chocolates?

Croome gives some stupid Evil Guy But I’m On Your Side speech about Rembrandt and Mozart before delving into the real reason for this meeting. Croome has had a change of heart. He wants the world to see sensorium as actual people. Unfortunately not everyone at BPO agree with him. 

Croome asks Will what he knows about BPO. Nomi steps in to tell him about Ruth El-Sadaawi, who founded BPO in the sixties. She was brilliant. She wanted to bring homo sapiens and homo sensoriums together, etcetera, etcetera. Obligate mutualisms. The title of the episode.

Riley appears to add that this doesn’t sound like the same organization in Iceland.  

Really, Riley? Der.

9.11 changed all that, just like it changed the world. It made BPO suspicious of everyone, wary of terrorists and the like. It’s a plausible explanation and makes perfect sense. But, Croome continues, there is a contingent of those inside BPO’s walls who envision bringing the company back to its roots. What they need from Will and his cluster is time and trust.

Croome gives Will a vial of psi-blockers as a sort of bit of collateral. They’re what Whispers takes to block out all the...noise. But just as Will and Croome shake hands...

Whispers, like, Whoopi Goldberg-as-Patrick Swayzes some poor girl in the museum and straight up stabs Croome in the neck, killing him.

Well. That’s one way of getting back at your former boss. My ex-boyfriend just peed on his flower bed.

Following killing Croome against her will, she then slits her own throat.

Yay! 

I mean, yay because this was a good ep full of info. Not so much yay for Croome and this lady.

I said I’d have this recap out by Thursday and hey! It’s here with time to spare. Like forty minutes. THIS ONE TOOK FOREVER THERE WAS SO MUCH INFO. 

Seriously. I was on my butt all day cappin’ dis bitch. 

Will get to ep. 3 ASAP!