#entirely sure yet myself. and thats okay too <33< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[raedas]

hey i was just wondering how you figured out you were aro?? no pressure if you’re uncomfortable sharing of course ! but i’m kind of questioning and i thought maybe hearing other people’s experiences might help. and also i was in a relationship for almost a year so that’s probably somewhat significant and additionally complicating ahaha <333

hey anon!! first and foremost good luck with figuring everything out <33 i know at least for me, questioning can be a long and hard and typically ongoing process, but we'll make it through :] i'm gonna stick the rest of my answer beneath the read more bc im getting the sense im gonna go on for a bit FGDHLKSFAJ

one of the biggest things for me that i think is necessary to preface everything is that i've never really had an "oh" moment like some people talk about. there's never been a moment where i saw a label or a flag and was 100% sure i fit into that box, its more like... years worth of questioning and then the internal meter in my head slowly ticking over. like, when i was figuring out i was queer, i maybe started questioning in like... fifth grade you could say? but it started as more of a "oh im definitely not but like What if" and then gradually began to tick more and more towards "oh i think i might not be cishet" to eventually when i hit the... idk, 80% or 90% certainty mark it was more of a "fuck it, im queer" feeling. there's always going to be that bit of doubt for me, i think, and coming to terms with being aro was very similar for me in that regards

another thing is i was ALSO in a relationship for almost a year, and that's during the time when i was coming to terms with being aro/arospec, which im sure you can imagine was an Experience. i do think being in a relationship was the best thing for me trying to figure out i was aro though, bc i definitely got that sense of Wrongness of trying to think of myself as existing in a romantic relationship. like, when i thought of myself as having a romantic partner, it always felt a bit like i was playing at a part and acting like i had romantic feelings more than i actually did. of course that came with.. a lot of me trying to ignore my own feelings and feeling guilty about it up until i broke up with my now ex (this is like the funniest inside joke ever to us now dw) so that's where i was coming from w/ my experiences

i also began to realize that like, whenever i try to imagine myself in a romantic relationship, its always in some ambiguous future like 10 or so years down the line, which completely distances myself from the idea. i have no idea what a romantic relationship with someone would look like for me, it was just this idea of "yeah, someday in an ambiguous future ill have a romantic relationship with someone and we'll cook together and hug each other and have fun" until i realized that i don't actually want a romantic relationship, and also that... none of those things that i actually envisioned are exclusive to a romantic relationship. in my life ive had a grand total of 2 crushes, both of which were/are queerplatonic but also like... if i imagine having an Actual relationship its just stressful to me and not even really appealing, despite the fact that i have a crush on them.

one of the most important things im coming to terms is that its okay if im wrong, its okay if however many years down the line i find out that im actually entirely allo and fall in love with someone. like i said i dont know if ill ever be 100% confident in my own labels especially with the whole issue of "how do you prove a negative". for now, though, calling myself aro is something that makes me happy and feels, most of the time, accurate. another really important thing i think is that aromanticism is entirely a spectrum. you could be aromantic or arospec in a billion different ways*, or you could be none of them, and thats okay too <333 good luck with everything anon i hope hearing about my experiences helped a bit :]

[rouge-the-bat]

GIMME A MOMENT IM STILL EDITING THE POST it accidentally posted before i was done and i dont wanna copy/paste everything onto a new post okay im done editing now lmao 👍

yeah i try to remember to use the read more whenever i realize my posts are getting real long- im sure theres times ive forgotten tho lol. aaand speaking of-

yeah, hopefully its all relatively accurate! ive been trying to learn japanese properly for a while now, but keep dropping off of it, and so have to keep re-learning hiragana as only some of them will have stuck to memory... 😓 SOMEDAY ill finally stay in the habit of learning bit by bit. hopefully fjskhfd

i have been in a creative rut for yeaarss its driving me insane 😭 i have a million ideas but never the energy to actually do any of them.... and making things is my FAVORITE thing to do so its like my brain is ready to explode. but in february i should get my test results... soon soon soon i just need a little more patience and hopefully i dont get told i dont have adhd bc BOY THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG HERE AND I DONT WANT TO HAVE WASTED MONEY ON THIS

god i have time blindness SO FUCKING BAD and have always my entire life. idk when anything happens. everythings a timeless blur in my life. i can never tell how long it takes me to do anything unless i happen to time it. i cant keep track of things unless i put reminders. defintely one of the big reasons why im trying to get an adhd diagnosis. didnt know much about adhd all my life until some years back, where i then realized like 90% of the shit about adhd is what i deal with and was like AH. I SEE.

yeah apparently things coming out in the 90s is the sweet spot for my hyperfixations lol, both of my absolute biggest ones (sonic and yyh) have been in that decade. ill forever be so glad that my gf got me to check yyh out bc BOY HOWDY have i been living off the yyh high nonstop ever since watching it. AND YEAH I HAD TO USE THAT MEME BC THEYRE JUST. LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON. its why they both own my heart <3

i actually have some of my yyh drawings posted over on my art sideblog! mostly sketches, bc thats most of what ive been able to get out for a while now (but hey, something at least!). i wanna get around to drawing a lot more of the chars, but hiei n kurama are def always gonna be the ones i draw the most lol. i gotta draw more of them together (the few sketches ive done of them actually together havent been posted yet bc theyre VERY unfinished), and i gotta do some with yukina and shiori too bc <33 i love them. idc if shiori got like 5 minutes of screentime, THATS MY MOTHER AND I LOVE HER GDI. id also totally be down to see the stuff u make/have made too!

ngl whenever i go between different crochet projects i have to remind myself how different things are done lol. doesnt take me long to get back in the swing of it, but i have yet to get the different crochet types to stick to my memory. luckily short youtube tutorials for individual stitches are aplenty! also tbh i never thought about the single crochet like that lol. probably bc crochet is kinda my "turn my brain off" activity for the most part. just play some music and follow instructions until i got a thing made. i just gotta make sure i dont zone out TOO hard or ill have to recount shit vkdjfkd. no idea how i do with yarn tension since i havent had it like. compared to anything. i think im kinda decent at it? not completely consistent but not bad i think. heres some of the things ive done!

the pink heart was the first thing i ever crocheted, followed i think by the pink rose! (both of which were photographed on top of my girlfriends cat lmao). i had a small candy cane made but said cat had gotten a hold of it and messed it up a bit so... ill have to see if i can salvage it or ill just make another eventually. the yoshi egg i made for my dad for christmas, bc yoshi is his fave mario character (that i stole from him when i was little anytime we played mario party/kart LOL). i made a larger different-patterned heart with white yarn for my mom but i dont seem to have a pic of it, or i cant find it anyways. the openable question-mark block was made for my brother, and the lil white & red stocking was something my mom asked me to make so she could put some candy in it and gift it to someone. the large heart cat plush (which ended up bigger than i expected lol) i made for my girlfriend, based on her cat thats pictured below it in exactly the same pose lol! i THINK thats everything ive made so far... its possible im forgetting something tho (which knowing me, is likely). i also have a small heart-shaped macaron wip that i really gotta get back to that ive mostly followed a pattern for but have done some differing bits to style it how i want (like adding some wavy edging on the hearts, making the cream part have a more diagonal in-out pattern). i have that mostly done, i just need to finish the cream... then sew it together/stuff it!

ough man perfectionism is a bitch... i def know how it is dealing with that shit 😓 it def had the worst hold on me when it comes to writing, which ive gladly gotten a bit better with in the recent years. still struggling to write much tho bc. focus is ALSO a bitch 😒 my brain is my #1 enemy fr. the most ive been able to do is over on my kurama ask blog, but i havent gotten back to it in. a while OTL. rip the asks still sitting in my inbox 😓

HEHE im glad you (and others in the fandom) enjoy my silly yuyu memes! i actually have a SHIT TON more that im wanting to make, i just need to. actually get around to doing them hfkdhfj OH MAN i love that idea. "get [blank]ed idiot" has been a joke me and my girlfriend have been using so much lately when talking to our cats/about stuff happening in games/etc. its really the funniest phrase and it will not leave our brains. so often ill pick up one of our kitties and just say "get picked up idiot." its use is so versatile.

YES YES YES i mention like all the time how hiei is just a cat tbh gksgjdhfk (also hc that kurama gives him "kitten" as a petname hehe) like. ive had cats my whole life and absolutely adore them, and EVERYTHING hiei does is SOOOO fucking cat-like. down to even fucking licking his own wounds. im so glad the fandom generally agrees that hiei Is A Cat and that cats have a natural tendency to like him (like kuwabaras cat/cats lol). hes my cute precious little kitten <3

oh man yeah its gonna be a LOOOONG time til i get around to doing the chapter black arc, even longer til itll get posted lol. i actually need to get some extra storage to keep the frames on bc. Boy It Takes A Lot Of Space. but im crazy and want to be able to keep them instead of deleting as i post bc yyh has REALLY awakened some kinda deep archival-hoarding spirit within me LOL.

yeah im sure once i get to looking around i prob wont have much trouble finding some sites to put the transcript on, but ill be doing the lookin around once im much further into transcripting lol (rn im just at episode 12). and yeah, i was def planning on using the wayback machine!

cool, i appreciate it owo! im always itching to share my yyh stuff i got going on hehe. oh btw, if you want you can see some icons, a couple aesthetic boards, and a stimboard i made over on my kin blog. most of the icons are of kurama, but ive done a few little edits for hiei icons too. oh actually i still need to update with a few of my newer kurama icons :o

yeah tbh hiei feels more high energy in the dance mix dialogues, kinda like when he first showed up and went into his jaganshi form lmao. tho i guess when its audio-only, you cant really have him being the quiet lil bastard off at the edge of the room making just the occasional snide remark lol. but him being a little shit will always make me so happy <3 the yuyu gangs kind of bickering and teasing is my fave, theyre all such lovable dorks. AND LMAO kurama totally would join kuwabara on that. he tries to appear to be such a good guy but hes such a little shit and can never resist fucking with his friends any chance he can get. its the best. AND HIEI SO WOULD HACK A COMPUTER WITH HIS SWORD.... god i love my edgy dumbasses so much <3

YEAH UGH. i love hiei with my whole heart but i wanna kick his ass sometimes. him and yukina give me SO MANY EMOTIONS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I JUST WANT THEM TO BE PRECIOUS SIBLINGS TOGETHER FFS. they both deserve that. and hiei would be SUCH a good and sweet brother if he would just let himself actually be one.

ooh, i may check out yugioh eventually! but i also have like, a million things on a list of "maybe check this out eventually," and i usually can only finally check one out if something clicks in my brain and im like I Need To See This Right This Second, so. who knows if/when i may get around to it hckdhfkd

thats totally fair! i know i def have issues finding other peoples fan playlists to my tastes. even if its for a specific theme, i often find myself like... ''wtf i like some of these songs but i already know they dont fit this theme at all???'' or itll be like. a yandere playlist but a lot of the songs are pissed off breakup songs or something like that and its like. those are sorta related but two whole different vibes my guy....

i tend to be very specific with what i add to playlists (even if they get really long) bc they HAVE to have the lyrics really fit the characters to me, or have the energy/style/symbolism hit Just Right. admittedly tho a few of the kurahi choices are def based in my ideas for their kinks 😅 (biting in particular). usually i dont do genre-based picks (aka "this is something this character would listen to") on my character playlists aside from my personal rouge playlist (with some bits of shadow in it). tho im Kinda considering potentially adding a few on my yyh playlist bc theres the band kishidan that im just like *AGGRESIVELY POINTS* YUSUKE AND KUWABARA ENERGY!!!! (i mean hell, even the visual aesthetics for the band are bad boys with retro japanese school uniforms and pompadours. like come ON) and also i REALLY feel like yusuke would love ska music (or more specifically ska punk?) so id love to find something like that thatd fit him to add on... unfortunately tho i havent heard many ska songs yet so i havent found something specific id want to add. ANYWAYS. my yyh playlist has a variety of genres so there might be something u may click with if you do decide to check it out sometime! my tastes in music are pretty varied, though any type of hard rock music tends to be my favorite, and that defintely reflects on my playlists. tbh if ud want, i could try picking out a few from my playlist for you to check out? either ones i particularly think are especially really fitting for characters, or certain genres youd want to hear or smthn.

i always love getting recommendations for songs that fit characters!! OH MAN i REALLY like tears of pearls for kurahi... i may likely add that to my playlist 👀 usually i like to sit on songs for a bit tho before adding them, gotta let it get a good simmer in my mind. i def hc hiei makes hiruiseki stones (and have a LOT of thoughts about that) (and yeah yukina is SOOO aroace. i hc both her and hiei as very demi- basically fully aroace but with just one exception for them each. which is something i very relate to in regards to my asexuality- tho thats for two fictional characters (shadow and hiei) lol. i go into my thoughts on hiei n yukinas aspec-ness on this post) oo turn back the clocks story about being longer lived than humans would work SO well for kurama, but i think the lyrics are a little too non-specific to his situation for me to fully vibe with (im real picky about imagery, so it being so descriptive about a blonde little girl growing up instead of something i could apply to his mother or human friends makes it not click right as a kurama song for me personally). (ALSO 😭 noo yukina has dealt with enough) OMG kiss by a rose for a hiei-pov kurahi song is SO SWEET.... 🥺🥺 another contender for my playlist <33 OH YES YES YES FUCKED UP OBSESSION SONG THATS KURAHIII BAYBEEEE the horror of my love ALSO a big chance of being added. n tho i can see it, no spill blood doesnt really click as a kurama song for me tbh, but it is a fun one! ohhhh i do like no one lives forever for yusuke... maybe thats one of the ska punk songs ive been needing for him! dead mans party seems fun for him too, may potentially even add it for a yusuke & botan song- i wish she kept her more playful side about death and general dark humor from the beginning throughout the show, so i like to portray her keeping that aspect of her personality. OH I LOOVE I WILL NEVER DIE FOR KURAMA YESSS thank you SO much for these recommends these are such good picks and im probably taking most of them hehe. if you want to recommend any more sometime im totally down! and dw about genre or whatever, i may have certain things i listen to much more often, but theres VERY few things i completely write off music-wise. none i can even think of atm that i would.

What a small 'net! I saw a reblog of your normalize post, & your avatar caught my eye. So I figured I'd peek at your blog in case you had more shiny stuff to see, & noticed you encourage folks tag you in Kurama & Hiei stuff. I pinned in the back of my head that, after checking out your stuff, I should ask if you want a link to skit translations from the Dance Mix CD—then saw YOU'RE the one who made the beautifully-organized Yu Yu Jukebox! That helped me figure out what CDs I wanted to buy! :D <3

yoo hell yeah!! im glad that helped you out!! its always nice to see the things i make can be useful :3 and nice that my kurama icon is catching the eye of fellow yyh fans hehe!

yu yu hakusho is a huuuge hyperfixation of mine, but my adhd has been making me struggle with focusing on doing the creative stuff i wanna do (like drawing and writing), so ive been instead doing a shit ton of other things revolving around yyh- like collecting the music and making the yu yu jukebox channel, ripping frames to post and organize them on my sideblog @reikai-records , and ive also been working on making a dialogue transcript for the dub (still unsure where to put it online when im done with that tho, atm i just have it on google docs, not too far on it)!

i cant remember if ive encountered translations for the skits of the dance mix cd though, id def love to see that!

[prettywordsyouleft]

Labelling Love | Part 2 (Collab)

Summary: Meeting you changed the way Eunwoo viewed romance and love entirely.

Pairing: Cha Eunwoo x female reader

Genre: university au / romance / fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: Welcome to the second series in the monthly Love In Fours Ways collab with @jackiejacks923​ @noona-clock​ & @this-song-thats-only-for-you​ . In the final week of each month during this collab, we’ll be each sharing a mini-series using 4 of the pictures/concepts illustrated in the book that inspired our series that I’ve credited below.

Credit to: Puuung - Love Is In The Small Things // #76 , #60 , #4 , #33

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 // Collab Masterlist

Part 2 -  The Moment Just Before The Actual Kiss, Which Is Sometimes Even Sweeter Than The Kiss Itself

Blinking at his admission, your eyes then grew unfocused. “You… you what?”

“I know it’s ridiculous. Believe me, I don’t understand it either,” he continued hastily, letting go of your arm and running a hand through his hair. “But ever since I first saw you, I’ve been distracted like this.”

A small smile ghosted over your lips. “I see.”

“I’m normally rather efficient, not at all a bumbling mess like this.”

“And I make that harder?”

“You’re enjoying this now,” he lamented and you giggled before biting at your bottom lip. Eunwoo couldn’t help but groan at your elated expression. “Meanwhile I think I’m going insane.”

“I think you’re just being really romantic.”

Eunwoo laughed, shaking his head. “Oh no, that’s not me.”

“It’s not?” you echoed, pursing your lips together.

Oh god, why had he noticed them right at that moment?

Blinking rapidly, he sat back in his chair quickly. You watched him before grinning. “What’s not romantic about a guy telling you the reason he can’t think straight is because of you? Most girls dream of being told this, you know.”

“Really? But it’s so…”

“Romantic,” you repeated, your smile splitting your lips further. “Thank you for telling me the truth, Eunwoo.”

He sighed, glancing at you cautiously. “What do we do now about it?”

“Well, if sitting next to me is a bother, we could try moving apart so long as you don’t use this confession as something to avoid me entirely with.” Eunwoo didn’t mention out loud that it had been a thought he possessed, but you seemed to notice and hissed at him. “You can’t!”

“I dislike being this hopeless,” he told you with a pout which only made you further unable to remove your amusement. “Stop having so much fun at my expense!”

“You haven’t asked me what my thoughts are around this situation, Eunwoo.”

“Do I have to? It’s a ridiculous problem to have and I’m already struggling to navigate it myself.”

“We could do it together,” you offered airily, not quite meeting his gaze. “You know, like a team.”

“A team?”

“Yeah, we could work on extending your comfort zone whilst in my company. I’m sure the more time we spend together, you’ll find your footing again. Attraction only bothers people with a crush temporarily.”

Eunwoo glanced around the café before shooting you an exasperated look. “A crush?! Y/N, come-”

“I could take away the crush aspect of your problem, if you want, Eunwoo. Who’s to say I don’t have one too?”

Eunwoo stared at you dumbfounded until he started to grow dizzy. Yearning for fresh air, he barely breathed out an excuse me before dashing for the exit, walking briskly down the sidewalk whilst breathing in deeply.

You caught up to him a moment later. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Not usually,” he replied with a side glance in your direction. He couldn’t help but scrunch up his face when he realised the itch in his palm to reach out for yours.

He pocketed his hands deeply into his jeans.

“So you like me. And perhaps I like you.”

Eunwoo stopped walking and stared at you imploringly. “Did you like me before or after I admitted to being bothered by you?”

“Does it matter?”

“You’re just stunned because a guy said some nice things.”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” you corrected and stepped closer. “I haven’t met someone who I can easily talk to right away like you. Normally I’m really reserved. Plus, I can’t deny that you’re rather handsome, either.”

Eunwoo couldn’t help but laugh then. “So normally we’re both different from how we’re representing to one another now.”

“It means something.”

“I don’t believe in love at first sight,” he warned and you shrugged.

“Did I say I was in love? I just suggested we explore this. I’ll help you get over this issue you’re dealing with and see if what I feel is something worth acting upon. What do you say?”

Eunwoo sighed and after a moment’s thought, he nodded. “That sounds like the best option we have.”

Much to Eunwoo’s surprise, your idea worked well. It took enduring through another two weeks of less than stellar performances from him in class before he found the rhythm needed to be productive at your side. And because this was achieved by spending all his time in between classes with you, you were now efficient study buddies. You bounced ideas off one another, even with your other subjects that you didn’t take together. Eunwoo was also able to spend hours just reading across from you and whilst he still had moments where he stopped and stared or felt his heart racing, he was no longer incapable.

The physical reactions hadn’t stopped though. If anything, they had intensified. He would often find himself itching to reach out for you and sometimes he did that, relishing in the moment of connection. Holding your hand or letting you lean against him when you grew tired at the end of a cramming session made Eunwoo feel more in control of the reactions. He was empowered every time he gave into them.

And that made him realise that things had progressed in his mind further than just a crush.

“What are you doing over the weekend?” you asked during lunch and Eunwoo glanced up at you and shrugged.

“Probably nothing aside from a bit of study.”

“Nothing?” you asked and then shook your head. “That won’t do!”

“Being lazy and not attending school sounds like it’ll do just fine,” he admitted with a smirk and you rolled your eyes impatiently.

“But you could do more than that.”

“I could?” he wondered, looking at you curiously. “Like what?”

“We could go to the arcade or see a movie or-”

“Like a date?” he interrupted and you clamped your mouth shut, giving a small shy nod. He grinned. “Did you just try to ask me out on a date, Y/N?”

“Well you’re taking forever to do so and I just thought that it would be nice to spend time together outside of the university campus and explore more of what this feeling is between us.”

It was his turn to be delighted at your expense, chuckling when you started to grumble incoherently. Eunwoo leaned towards you with another smirk. “When will you pick me up?”

“You’ll go out with me?” you breathed and then a smile grew on your lips. “Really?”

“You’ll have to be prepared for me though. I’ve barely been holding back these last few days from you. If we’re going on a date, who knows what will happen.”

Actually, it wasn’t much different from daily life at your side. So far, you had enjoyed the arcade together and even saw a comedy that made his sides hurt from too much laughter. Now he was holding your hand and swinging it lightly as you ate ice-creams walking alongside the river. Conversation had flowed freely as had the smiles. Eunwoo was pretty sure the corners of his mouth were going to ache tomorrow after how much he’d curled his lips up in pleasure today with you.

Still, there was something that was different.

All day long, he had wanted to kiss you. At little moments, like when you grinned up at him after winning a game you’d tried several rounds on at the arcade. Or when you offered him a piece of popcorn and he had stared at you instead. You had even let him try your ice-cream flavour and for a second, Eunwoo had contemplated the age-old technique of kissing you to taste it instead.

Yet he held back each time, searching for a better moment.

“I guess I should take you home,” you mentioned once your ice-creams were finished, looking up at him with an unreadable expression. You then smiled when he laughed.

“I can’t believe you held to your end of the deal.”

“Well, I did ask you out on this date. Gender roles mean nothing in the modern age. A woman can pick a guy up and drop him off at his front door after an enjoyable time together.”

“You going to kiss me goodnight too then?” he wondered cheekily, only realising what he said a moment after.

Before he could apologise for the impromptu response, you were already slyly grinning up at him. “Maybe I should. Then one of us would have acted upon it.”

“You noticed?”

“How could I not?!” you exclaimed, shifting in closer. “You basically stared at my lips more than any other guy has before.”

Eunwoo rubbed his neck awkwardly. “Hah, I guess so.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been doing the same too. Wondering when I’d get to feel them against my own mouth.”

Eunwoo reached out to cup the side of your face, searching your eyes momentarily before leaning down towards you. He hesitated but not because he was nervous.

Watching as you fluttered your eyes shut when he was mere inches away from your face, Eunwoo’s heart started to thump noisily in his chest. He felt a surge of emotions wash over him as if he had already kissed you and had fallen trap to your enchanting ways. He witnessed the pursing of your lips, waiting for his own.

This moment.

This was more than he had ever experienced before in his life. He had dated girls when he was younger and even held a relationship for over a year during high school. But all of that paled to the way you willingly wanted him now.

It urged him to take your lips with his own, overwhelming all his senses. The kiss was soft, caressing right down to his soul. As he pulled you closer and deepened the embrace, Eunwoo knew he wouldn’t kiss anyone quite as well as he were you. Much as he tried to label the first moment, he searched through his mind for the reason why you made him feel like this now.

He couldn’t come up with any ideas that fitted perfectly, but your mouth sure felt as if it were made to be against his.

Finally, you stepped back, breath staggered and a hand upon your heaving chest. He watched you recover, his mind swirling with thoughts of you and his body was tingling from the experience.

“You’re beautiful,” he confessed and you eyed him again, a giddy smile crossing your swollen lips.

“And you’re mine now, right?”

Mine. Maybe that was the term Eunwoo was searching for. He nodded. “I’m yours.”

_________________

Part 3

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[byeol-ssi]

omg yess i will make sure to update you!! i was tempted to read the manhwa last night but held back because i know i would binge it this weekend 😩😩 i will definitely let u know tho! i’ve been looking for new stuff to read, so im very excited!! also— INSOS LAW IS VERY GOOD!! i recommend omg, its such a comfort manhwa for me, i hope you enjoy it as much as i do!!

i haven’t heard of that but i will definitely put that one my list!! say no more if it involves family because that’s honestly my weak spot 😩 BUT IM VERY HAPPY YOU KNOW WHAT MANHWAS IM TALKING ABOUT 😭😭 IVE BEEN WAITING TO TALK ABOUT THEM WITH SOMEONE IM SO HAPPY RN!!!! i think the only one im not caught up with is IBTHR, only because i wanna binge once it has a lot of chapters LOLLL BUTTTT FELIX OMG IVE NEVER BEEN SO DOWN BAD FOR A ML ITS UNREALL???? his visuals are 🥵 like he was cute with glasses but without it,,,, im speechless, my standards for men are getting so high because of him 😭😭😭 HOW CAN SOMEONE LOOK SO GOOD?!?$’&

ahem,,, moving on (i need to calm down because he has me so worked up 😩😩) but thats so cool you’re a xiao and childe main!! i recently got xiao and he’s so fun to play!! although i have to get used to him (because i lowkey dont like playing polearm characters 😅) and im still figuring out how to build him (+ everyone else haha)!! and hmm for characters, probably raiden (my friends all have her and lowkey she seems very cool to play!! also have u seen her boss fight?? i lowkey want to try it but i havent unlocked it yet since i just reached inazuma!!) and the kamisato siblings!! ayaka looks so much fun to play and i just want ayato because his idle animations (pulling out the boba out of his sleeves like?!?! sir what else do u keep in there?? 🤨) and okay — i have a big list (especially kazuha IM WAITING FOR HIM!!! and childe) but my luck is so bad so it’ll take me lots of grinding just for primos 😭

i managed to get zhongli (after losing the 50/50 and then hitting hard pity both times 🥲) so im a little nervous (and might have to whale lolol) but im determined to drag them home 🤬 enough about me ehe but is there any characters you’re planning to wish for in the future? if it’s okay to ask, what is your team comp at the moment? (ive been messing around with different comps but i always mess up the timing 😩).

i know you said don’t apologize but i feel like my asks are so long, im sorry 😭😭 anyways, i hope your day went well and im sorry i replied so late!!

— 💭 anon

hello, 💭 my love!! I JUST GOT HOME, so i'm sorry for getting back to you late! i did receive the notif for your ask when i was outside, and i spent the entire day looking forward to reading your message <33

i've stopped myself from reading manhwas in general for a while too! i kinda want to let the chapters pile up since i devour them in one sitting 😅 and then i'm left staring at the wall whenever it happens.

i've been seeing a lot of new releases on tiktok mostly, though i've yet to pick them up and see whether they're any good! I'LL DEFINITELY BUMP INSO'S LAW UP ON MY TBR — maybe next weekend if i'm not loaded with schoolwork!

I ALSO FEEL THE SAME WAY!! i was so lonely for a while and i had no one else to torment into reading 😫 SO PLEASE EXCUSE ALL MY PENT-UP ENERGY!! i'm so excited to have someone to share and talk to!!

I SWEAR, FROM NOW ON I'LL BE BRINGING A BOX OF TISSUES WITH ME EVERYTIME I READ IBTHR BECAUSE THE ML INDUCES NOSEBLEED 🤧 and don't worry, we don't shame anyone for being down bad here. because yes, i'm also on my knees for him. 👀

xiao has been the og loml ever since i started playing, whereas childe definitely grew on me! i can definitely relate, since i didn't enjoy using bow-wielders at first too! I'M AFRAID I CAN'T BE OF ANY HELP WITH BUILDS, because even though i'm at AR 50+, my chars are poorly built 🥲 though we could always learn about it together! i've decided to study more about it when i'm a little less busy!

i've heard that raiden is an amazing support, so i'm wishing you luck with your pulls on her upcoming banner!! <33 AAA, i haven't had the time to play the newest quest with her boss battle, but i'm excited to! which nation or archon quest is your favorite so far?

i do have ayaka, and she's really fun to play with!! i love teaming her up with childe because of the freeze comp. BUT YES, AYATO'S IDLE? I LOWKEY COULDN'T BELIEVE IT AT FIRST AND THOUGHT THE LEAKS WERE EDITS 💀 i'm also excited for his voice lines — mostly because they say he has a mischievous personality! KAZUHAAA!!! i can personally vouch for him, his playstyle is very enjoyable!!

how is zhongli like? i've skipped all of his banners so far, though i've always found myself REALLY tempted to go and pull for him! AND DON'T WORRY, I'LL MANIFEST WITH YOU AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, WE'LL DRAG THEM BY THE EAR!!

hmm, i'm a bit undecided at the moment, especially with ayato, but i'm part of the hopeful population that wishes scaramouche becomes playable! 🤞🏻 i'm currently running xiao, diluc, venti, and bennett! i'm not sure if that's the wisest comp? but the double pyro buff helps a lot! what comps have you tried? i don't have keqing nor zhongli, so i'm very curious!

AAAA and no, darling!! i actually couldn't wait to sit down and answer this, so thank you for taking the time to chat with me!! i appreciate it very much and this made my entire day! <33

how did your day go? i hope that life has been kind and that you've been taking care of yourself! sending you lots of hugs! 🤗

[just-some-sad-kiddo]

Fantastic news: Tony got Covid! Of course, this news isn’t actually all that great and now Mom probably won’t be home for another week. I’m going to combust if I don’t get my meds so we arranged for Papa to pick them up for me after my appointment on the 31st.

I went and sat down at the canopy for my first two periods so that I could get some work done before my first class of the day. Lincoln kept me company for the most part until he had to go to class himself. The kids at the other table were yelling about the sexy M&M situation. Saturn and I found it hilarious. Saturn offered Kyle and I each a mint.

I also spent most of that morning making Quizlets for the science test tomorrow. I sent the link to a few of my friends so that they could study with it as well.

I tried to sign up for tutoring yesterday but the website was a nightmare to navigate. I wanted to sign up for group tutoring because there were no penalties in case you forget a session or cancel, but I thought I accidentally signed up for a 1 on 1 session and instantly canceled. 

So there’s this singer called Ronnie Radke who has just a whole array of accusations against him ranging from sexual harassment to attempted murder. He was arrested for something and yet, somehow, he has returned. He keeps trying to “clap back” at the haters (which he has many of) but he’s just so unbelievably stupid that his jokes aren't fucking funny. On top of that, he is incredibly transphobic. He’s just an entire nutcase.

THe weird thing is that he actually has a fair amount of supporters. I am not sure who exactly would be clinically insane enough to like this greese ball but to each their own I guess.

The IDKHOW concert was delayed a few hours. I’ve never heard of a concert getting delayed just by a few hours with multiple days notice. Mom says they probably lost their opening act or something. 

Throughout the day, Aiden (the one in our friends group. Ik, I know like a million Aiden’s) has been sending me really weird messages. It’s all been comeing off as a weird form of attention seeking but I don’t really have the energy to deal with that right now so I’ve been giving him shorthand responces and reminding him that I am not qualified to give him any advice. 

Aiden — Today at 8:33 AM is Kyle okay? ..sighs

Caspian — Today at 8:39 AM Wot Aiden — Today at 8:41 AM nothing.. they're probably wanting me to leave them alone so i'll just leave them alone..

Caspian — Today at 8:41 AM Okay Aiden — Today at 8:43 AM in fact, i actually need to go to the bathroom.. i need to do something about this pain one sec Caspian — Today at 8:55 AM Why are you in pain Aiden — Today at 8:57 AM for a lot of reasons..

Aiden  — Today at 9:06 AM i can't vent to anyone since they can't handle it, i can't speak out loud because of who and what i am as a friend to ppl, i can't trust anyone with my feelings, i can't tell anyone how i feel as a human being this day n' age and theres a lot more.. Caspian — Today at 9:07 AM Thats unfortunate. Do you have a therapist you can talk to? Aiden — Today at 9:08 AM no one tries to help me through shit they just say random shit, most ppl are asked out of nowhere if they're okay and i don't ever get that and tbh MAYBE I WANT THAT TOO... maybe i want someone to care.. no i don't bc its bullshit and if i say so much as a peep of nothing feeling right i get put on meds like i did in the past Caspian — Today at 9:13 AM It must be really hard what you're going through I wish I could be of help but I don't typically offer advice to people unless I know what Im talking about Try to practice self care for a while Aiden — Today at 9:15 AM i do and i'm so tired of just caring for myself since im running out of ideas to do so.. Caspian — Today at 9:19 AM I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to help. Aiden — Today at 9:19 AM its okay if you can't help /gen i've gotten kinda use to it nowadays.. Caspian — Today at 9:20 AM I think you're better off talking to a therapist They could help Aiden — Today at 9:20 AM fuck therapists... those mfs put me on meds for anti depressants when i really just needed to talk.. Caspian — Today at 9:21 AM Therapists cant prescribe antidepressants so idk who tf you was talkin to Aiden — Today at 9:22 AM me neither... Aiden — Today at 10:02 AM hey um.. i might not be in the social bubble today for the friend group bc of me and Kyle being pissed at each other about something Caspian — Today at 10:55 AM Okay Aiden — Today at 12:59 PM if you don't see me as a friend anymore its fine ig, sorry if i seem pissed its bc i am and i need a lot of space right now to get into a good headspace again so once again im sorry but please try your best to not be near me Caspian — Today at 1:46 PM That’s fine Aiden — Today at 5:21 PM ha haha Caspian — Today at 6:08 PM Did you mean to send that or was that for someone else

I tried to ignore the weird guilt-trippy stuff he sent and go on with my day. All Kyle did was tell Aiden that he wasn’t in the right headspace to be vented too and Aiden couldn’t respect a simple boundary. 

Aiden even told blade that he didn’t want to talk to me anymore which makes it really weird that he texted me at 5:30. I pretended that I didn’t know the message was for me and left it at that. He hasn’t messaged me in an hour.

I almost got the dumb bank app to work but since the account is under Mom’s phone number, they need to send her some security code. Of course, she doesn’t have her SIM card in so I have to wait until tomorrow cuz it’s like 6AM in England.

I’ve been doing a lot of research on the Denver punk scene to see if there are any DIY shows in the area. There aren’t many. There isn’t a huge scene.

During math, I passed phil a note that said

“Shot through the balls

and you’re too late

honey, you give love

a bad name”

Phil asked me where he might find a Metallica t-shirt and I told him about how I got my IDKHOW shirt at Arc for $3 and that we saw like 4 Metallica t-shirts there for probably cheaper.

I was talking to Phil about how I checked out a book about U2 from the library but the kid next to me said “Why would you read a book about Youtube?” That was pretty funny.

So Saturn is 14, right? Well, today when I was hanging out with them, Phil, Teagan, and Blade, the two of them kissed in the hallway. Saturn and Teagan, I mean. Teagan is almost 18 years old so I am a bit suspicious of that. To be fair, however, Teagan is on the spectrum and he acts a bit younger than he actually is. Still, I’m gonna keep a real fuckin close eye on the two of them. Real fuckin close.

[perhaps-mr-collins-has-a-cousin]

Tagged by @ohbeeone to answer 85 questions about myself, thank you! :)

last

1. drink - peppermint tea 2. phone call - my cousin--finalizing our plans to stay overnight at a local bed & breakfast, just for the heck of it (it was super fun) 3. text message - a photo (from my cousin) of the back of my hair right after she styled it 4. song you listened to - "This Is Not a Test” by She & Him 5. time you cried - About a week ago, and I’m still not entirely sure why. Sometimes you just need to cry for no reason, you know?

ever

6. dated someone twice - I’ve never dated someone once 7. kissed someone and regretted it - no 8. been cheated on - also no 9. lost someone special - yes 10. been depressed - I’m not sure. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - No. (I’m starting to feel very boring, but hey that’s okay!)

fave colours

12. light pink 13. dark green  14. lavender

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Yes! 16. fallen out of love - no 17. laughed until you cried - yes 18. found out someone was talking about you - Not really, other than overhearing my boss talk to her clients about me once or twice when I was out of the room (but she only said very kind things). 19. met someone who changed you - Hmm...I don’t know. 20. found out who your friends are - I never know quite what this question is supposed to mean? 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - I’m not on the Facebook at the moment, but I think when I was I knew all but one of my friends there in real life. 23. do you have any pets - a sweet, strange little toy poodle named Suki and a canary named Sweetie (although both of these pets are technically my mom’s) 24. do you want to change your name - I kind of feel like my name is too elegant to really fit me, but I still wouldn’t change it. 25. what did you do for your last birthday - My parents took me to dinner the night before, and then on the birthday my aunt and cousin came over and we painted pumpkins and it was super fun! 26. what time did you wake up today - 7:30-ish? 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - watching the 1951 Alice In Wonderland 28. what is something you can’t wait for - This darn headache to go away, I’m a little worried I’m coming down with the flu, like this afternoon when I was driving my cousin home I felt really carsick and I was the one who was driving?? 30. what are you listening to right now - clocks ticking and the occasional car driving past 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - Why yes, I say hello to Mr. Bombadil all the time when I drive past this really hilly spot that reminds me of the Barrow-downs on my way to work. 32. something thats getting on your nerves - Things feel kind of tense in my household right now, and I’m not sure why, like I’m wondering if some kind of argument happened when I was gone or something? And being around other people’s emotional tension, whether real or imagined, sometimes makes me irritable. 33. most visited website - Tumblr or Gmail 34. hair colour - brown 35. long or short hair - I like both, but the rule seems to be that when my hair is short I want it to be long, and vice versa. 36. do you have a crush on someone - I feel like Febs’ answer very much applies to me as well: “i develop and discard crushes with wanton abandon”  37. what do you like about yourself - I’ve been feeling very not confident lately, so I don’t really know. 38. want any piercings - I think nose piercings are so cute, but I’m too much of a coward to get one. 39. blood type - No idea! 40. nicknames - Jul or Juls 41. relationship status - single 42. zodiac - Scorpio 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - Poldark, Little Bear, Lizzie McGuire, Hannah Montana, NCIS, American Idol (almost all of these are old shows that I used to watch, I guess I don’t watch that much TV anymore?) 45. tattoos - none yet 46. right or left handed - Mostly right-handed, but there are a few things I’m left-handed in (mainly softball way back when I did Little League). 47. ever had surgery - just my wisdom teeth when I was 17 48. piercings - just my ears 49. sport - I don’t really play them or watch them (except for some cycling races that I watch with my dad). 53. drinking - The only alcoholic drink I’ve tried and liked was one of those Mike’s Hard Lemonades; I actually tried a tiny bit of red wine this weekend and it was super gross-tasting, I’m sorry. 54. i’m about to watch - the insides of my eyelids, I’m exhausted 55. waiting for - I’m not sure, but probably something! 56. want - more motivation to eat healthier foods 57. get married - I want to, but it’s not likely and it’s not something I need to be happy. 58. career - hopefully dog grooming

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs 60. lips or eyes - eyes 61. shorter or taller - taller 62. older or younger - older 63. nice arms or stomach - arms 64. hookup or relationship - relationship 65. troublemaker or hesitant - neither (but if I had to choose I would say hesitant)

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no 67. drank hard liquor - no 68. lost glasses - not permanently, but yes 69. turned someone down - I mean...kind of? 70. sex on first date - I’m one of those wait-till-marriage people. 71. broken someones heart - no 72. had your heart broken - no 73. been arrested - no 74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - When I was a lot younger (like in grammar school haha) I has crushes on a couple boys I was friends with, but now I’m more neurotic than I used to be and the idea of men anywhere near my age knowing I exist gives me the Anxiety and I can barely speak to them, let alone become friends with them, let alone become friends with them and fall for them :/

do you believe in

76. yourself - It depends on the day. 77. miracles - yes 78. love at first sight - probably not 79. santa claus - I never believed in Santa Claus, but I did believe in the Easter Bunny because my friend at school emphatically assured me he was real. 80. kiss on a first date - If I were going to go on a date, I think I would want it to be with a guy I’d already become really good friends with, so...maybe? (But probably not.) 81. angels - yes 

other

82. best friend’s name - I don’t really have one 83. eye colour - depends on the lighting, at different times they can look blue, grey, or green 84. fave movie - At the moment I want to say The Voyage of the Dawn Treader? Like there are things about it I would absolutely change, but I feel like the emotional tone of it is so joyous and alive and it makes me cry happy tears and I just love it. 85. fave actor - I don’t think I really have one?

I’m tagging: @porcelainfeather, @canadiangold, @thenorthlights, @the-stars-descend, @oenothera5, and anyone else who would like to :)

[hoetron]

okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all

c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy

d. GENDER: cis female hooooh

e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y

2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. red

13. yellow

14. either black or lavendar,,

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing 

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room 

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find

35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)

37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall

41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to 

42. BLOODTYPE: shit  i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)

43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle 

45. ZODIAC: virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)

48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows

52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji

53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: OXYGEn

56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN

57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88  questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c

58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?

59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...

60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm

61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji ) 

62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope 

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3 

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji

81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess

85. ANGELS: not really lmao

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time

only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest

[whalefairyfandom12]

Your Love's a Fucking Drag (But I Need it So Bad)

Summary: Dan likes black and leather jackets, Phil likes reading in solitude and playing video games. But they have one thing in common as new roommates at uni: They are both completely straight. Just because they like to get each other off every once in a while doesn’t make it any different.

A/N: We've been writing this fic for over a year now and it's strange to think this is the last time we'll be doing this. Thank you so much for all of your support and we hope you enjoy the final chapter <33

Masterpost

Chapter Nine

 *picks up after “true bros swallow” from chapter seven

-

don’t judge me makila

I’m 110% judging right now smh no homo just bromo

I came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

Not as attacked as Dan’s cock amiright

STOP THIS IMMEDIATELy

...That's what he said and then Phil made him

My mind is literally blank rn jfc i have absolutely no comebacks whatsoever

On a scale of one to Dan’s mind during orgasm from a brojob how blank?

Like dan’s mind during orgasm and then some

Yet somehow Phil Lester’s lips aren't involved. I think he got the better deal, really. Also cuddles after

Im jealous of dan i want phil lester’s cuddles :<

I swear to god we sound so ace right now 100 to 0 real fast

*writes sex scene* “Wow i cant wait to cuddle the fuck out of phil” 100% ace

Seriously though Phil probably gives some of the best cuddles imaginable I'm jealous

My friend met him and she said he gives the best hugs out of anyone she’s ever met

You know what fuck Phan I'm stealing Phil for myself

“Hi do u have any philxreader fics” dats u

“I don't want the yang wang dang just the hugging”

Im fucking pissing myself im hilarious

I think my mom just heard that snort

Im literally laughing so hard and my dogs started barking bc of it christ i need sleep

Jesus Christ has very little to do with this conversation, trust me ;)))))))))))))

I hope he isn’t too mad that i started involving him in our crimes

We’re all going to hell anyway, what's one more crime really

Imagine if jesus went to hell with us JESUS READS TOO MUCH GAY PORN

“So what was your punishment?”

“I liked sucking cocks too”

“Same. Only bros?”

“True bros swallowed. Dat was me.”

Jeezy wheezy (sry i cant type wow) thats amazing and i had something to say but i dont REMEMBER

They say losing your memory this early means you're definitely screwed and damned to hell

I mean we already knew i was going to hell so whats the difference

I've spent my evening reading gay porn stars AU instead of studying that ship has sailed

Porn star aus are the best thing ever no ragerts

“Ragerts”-Rachel, 2016

The sin has clouded your thoughts

Im gonna get that tattooed on me “no ragerts”

You can say not only were you extremely drunk when you got it you were also drunk when you thought it up. A win win

“How did you get that tattoo??” “Well im always drunk man”

“Drunk on gay smut and memes”

I read too much about bros swallowing loads

You need to fire your autocorrect and get a better one

Im on my computer so looks like i just have to fire my brain

Our wordcount has upped significantly can we just keep this here. “Now presenting a short intermission from your writers”

Oh my god when we upload the last chapter (whenever the fuck that will be jesus christ what are we doing with this story) we should post this

Imagine the day when our inboxes will no longer be filled with messages of “WHEN THE FUCK IS THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YLAFD GOING TO BE UP??????”

That’s the day that the earth will truly implode

See the real question is who’s going to store all these screenshots on their camera roll? Forfeit those sick GBs

I can screenshot them on my computer hahaha

Way to ruin the moment Rachel wooooooow :(((((((( That was so low not even Dan could recover (get it because he’s a bottom? I'm so tired smh)

Sorry bro (*insert lenny face here bc im too lazy to do that*) i hope dans proud of me

He knows it's just about bros doing bro things I'm sure he’d fully endorse our fics. (And let’s be honest, I'll bet you one hundred dollars this hasn't happened to him at least once)

Oh him and phil have d e f i n i t el I GIVE UP fucked

Which will come out first? Dan Howell or Sherlock’s next season? YO MAMA’S SO FAT BY THE TIME SHE TURNS AROUND DAN HOWELL CAME OUT!!!!!1!

JESUS CHriST “How many licks does it take for dan howell to come out?” “The world may never know”

Oh he’ll be coming all right *insert lenny face*

HE’LL BE COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN HE COMES

╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝╚═(███)═╝╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝╚═(███)═╝.╚═(███)═╝..╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…╚═(███)═╝…..╚(███)╝……╚(██)╝………(█)……….*

WHAT THE FUCK MAKILA NO the human centipede lol

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ POOP

Ur enjoying urself aren’t u

FIGHT ME (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง (what? I don't have an entire wall of lenny’s saved to my notes for this very purpose that would be ridiculous haha ha ha ha…)

Usually when i use a lenny face i go back and copy it from one of my friend’s text messages so ALL THE JUDGEMENT HERE UR FIRED

AT LEAST LENNY STILL LOVES ME 
( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )ᕤ holy shit we broke 14k yay us #rakilaftwrioolymipcs2k16

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) we literally broke 14k because we wrote an entire essay about how much of a meme we are (why is this a different color text wtf)

All better. The perfectionist in me is satisfied.

Im proud of you makkypoo

BU-BUT SENPAIIIIIIII REALLY????? JU-JUST ME???????

JUST U MACKLEMORE (i think im so funny)

Macklemore I'm dying (right and Phil’s dating Dan. Oh wait)

I think your nickname is no longer makila but instead macklemore

Once we release these screenshots it will be THANKS RACHEL UR FIRED NOW

BUT ): A KOUHAI CANT HIRE THEIR SENPAIIIIIIII (also i hope you start getting messages about macklemore now)

WOW I FEEL SO LOVED :,(((((((((( a single man tear

A man tear… like uh i dont have a fucking comeback im So TIRED LIKE UR MUMS MAN TEAR

THE NERVE!!!!!!!!!1!1! WELL YOUR MUM’S MAN TEAR IS SO UNMANLY NOT EVEN DAN WOULD THINK IT WAS ATTRACTIVE SO THERE BITE ME

Cuz we all know dan thinks every man tear is attractive rip to dan’s heart (and his sexuality)

“Here lies Dan’s heterosexuality and heteronormativity. It will be sorely--screw it no it won't.”

Dan’s heterosexuality&heteronormativity,,, June 10, 1991 - Today (what is today) August 20, 2016

“We gather to celebrate with smut and Lenny human centipedes.” I need sleep so badly right now smh I'm dead tomorrow

GO TO SLEEP (honestly i do too i have to wake up early to move back to uni rip)

I will if you do. A bro pact. (A broct? Pacbro?)

Just… stop right there LOL lets form a broct(?) and just brosleep it out

I hope Phil brohugs you bro

Thanks bro i hope phil brocuddles u my dude, my bro

Aw you mean it bro? U r always there for me, man, I luv u u r like a brother to me, bro

Bro… oh my god bro, that’s the broest thing anyones ever said to me… i love u bro.. Like bromantically

Not as much as I platonically 110% heterosexually love u bro. Just bromo tho no homo

That’s the new phrase of this fic “just bromo, no homo”

*deletes summary and changes it to that* seriously why aren't we sleeping GO TO BED RAKILA

OKAY IM GONNA ACTUALLY SLEEP NOW CUZ WE NEED IT

NIGHT BRO DON’T LET THE FIREFLIES BITE MAN

NIGHT TO U TOO BROKILA DONT LET TO BRO BUGS BITE

[solienna]

i was going to be like 'all of them' but that would be mean so instead im 'just' going to ask for 1, 4, 8, 10, 13, 17, 21, 28, 32, 33, 35, 47, 50,

putting this under a readmore bc meander!!! you spoil me

01: When did you first start writing?      okay i actually am gonna give you two answers to this question bc i feel like i started writing at two periods in my life. the first time i actually started writing was in third grade because i had like. the BEST third grade teacher, he was awesome and in my eyes was like, the best artist i had ever met just bc he had a basic grasp of how to draw shit and i absolutely didn’t and still don’t, every time teachers tell me to draw things for an assignment i lose ten years off my lifespan but anyways!! off topic. he really encouraged creativity and i was in a class with one of my friends, his name was like john or michael or something, and i would write and he would illustrate (i thought he was the second-best artist i had ever met just bc he also had a basic grasp on drawing and i still didn’t). i wrote about like. this dog and his name was super yuff and got his powers through lightning that struck him and he just flew around and like. idk he did a lot of shit, i still have the stories i wrote. but like i was DEDICATED to this character and so was my illustrator friend. i remember one weekend i was just sitting on my bed with a bunch of folded up printer paper just writing about this dumb superhero dog that somehow ended up in like the halo universe bc even back then i was obsessed with video games. that was the first thing i actually WROTE.         HOWEVER. after third grade i just took a huge break. like not intentionally, of course. i loved writing but i didn’t know it was my THING yet. i didn’t really have a thing yet, it was only third grade ok. HOWEVER. when i transitioned into middle school that’s when i picked up writing again. i don’t even remember why. all i know was that my dad had bought skyrim and he was playing it and just by watching it i LOVED it. i adored the history behind the game and i just loved the graphics, and when i started playing the game i got HOOKED. stayed up entire nights just doing random side quests for npcs and feeling a huge goddamn hero, let me save this talking dog from the wrath of his daedric master nbd, just doing my job, let me set all these beehives on fire and get mauled by a bear, cool cool. and one day i just? was like wow, why don’t i write a story about it! about my skyrim OC going to solstheim and falling in love with the aloof nd really sarcastic and interesting teldryn sero (who still remains one of my favorite skyrim npcs to this day)!! and i thought i was Hot Shit too, i thought i fucking invented fanfiction. and then i found wattpad and then that was that folks, i got hooked on writing all over again and i still am

04: Have you ever thrown a book across the room?      mmmm not that i can recall? i’m not really a book-thrower, i’m more of a book-holder. like if something really shocking happens in a book i feel like i’d be more likely to hug it close to my chest than throw it08: What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten?      tbh pretty much everything you’ve told me meander!! i don’t really think i’d be writing that much if not for you. honestly you flatter me on a daily basis with your compliments about my really pretentious use of metaphors in like every single paragraph and basically just with your interest in all of my writing projects even for fandoms you’re not technically in!! i’ve never really been told by anyone that i’ve got a way with words and when you told me that i was like wow!! people actually like the shit i write, that’s cool! that’s real cool my guy10: What’s your biggest writer pet-peeve?      honestly i THRIVE on feedback. i took a huge writing break like a few years ago just because i couldn’t WRITE the way i used to. to just sit down and spew out 5000 word chapters on a whim wasn’t something i could feasibly DO anymore. i thought i lost my touch or something but it was honestly just because i didn’t get enough feedback. again shout out to u meander because you legit FLOODED me with feedback on like. everything. i’m still over the moon about half the shit you’ve told me like a year ago. tbh half the reason i yell in the tags is because creators read the tags!! they really do!! so i wanna leave some positive feedback for them because i want them to know that i liked whatever it was that they made!!

13: What’s your favorite writing quote?       it’s not really a writing quote but!! “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” -C.S. Lewis21: Do you outline?      i honestly burst out laughing when i saw this question, i do not in any way whatsoever outline anything bc apparently i hate myself. ok the last time i outlined a story was like four years ago and it worked…. really well…… so for some reason i was like wow how about we not make our lives easier. no outlining our fics we ruin our own writing projects like men

28: Which do you find hardest: the beginning, the middle, or the end?      everything, everything is hard, i can’t write in a linear fashion. nah but tbh i feel like it’s the middle? like what do you even do. what is the middle all about. i’ve never met her32: How do you feel about friends and close relatives reading your work?      ABSOLUTELY NOT. get them away. i am very protective of my writing bc it’s personal to me. like i don’t want y’all reading my shit and then going up to me in real life thinking you know all my secrets bc if u read my shit you WILL know all my secrets, i painstakingly pour my heart into everything i write because in everything i do, i try REALLY REALLY hard. if i let u read my writing it’s a show of trust33: Are you interested in having your work published?      in its current state? probably not!! maybe later on down the road would be nice, but i’ve still got a lot to learn //side-eyes all my failed attempts at witty dialogue35: What’s your favorite time of day for writing?      nighttime. like dead of the night, i’m in bed with my phone and should be asleep right now but instead i’m gonna grab my laptop and fucking dump out all the words in my brain onto this word document. other than that i honestly just write during school a lot? like when we get free time i’m either studying for a test or writing.47: If you could steal one character from another author and make then yours, who would it be and why?      i want to take preston garvey out of bethesda’s hands. i’ve fallen in love with him over the course of just writing one scene for his character study. it’s the second-to-last scene (bc i cant write in linear order) and like. gosh. i want him to be my character, he’s so sad but also so optimistic and he tries so hard. ok those kinds of characters are my Type, i love characters who try really hard 

50: If you could live in any fictional world, which would it be?      i’m honestly not really sure? like hardcore i love daydreaming but it’s never about myself doing cool things, it’s about characters doing cool things. i kinda wanna meet an omnic tho, they seem really chill. maybe like live in falkreath? it’s really chill and pretty there and the mountains are really looming and i like that. imagine meeting the dragonborn and they buy out your entire store and then just leave. thats fucking crazy my guy

[traumatas]

Despite being able to answer part of them for you myself, I still want you to answer all those asks :D surprise me, Andrea 🌼

Jfc. Why are you always doing this to me, Feli?

0:Height- I’m 1,60 /  5″3'1:Virgin?- Nope. 2:Shoe size- 39/40 and I think thats 6 in US sizes? IDK3:Do you smoke?- No I don’t. Never even draged on a cigarette and don’t really want to4:Do you drink?- Sometimes. But only really sweet drinks. I hate the taste of alcohol.5:Do you take drugs?- Do my antidepressants count?6:Age you get mistaken for- I mean sometimes people make a year older or younger but nothing to far off (So 18 and 20 mostly)7:Have tattoos?- I sure do B) One8:Want any tattoos?- Y E S. I just don’t know what yet.9:Got any piercings?- No I don’t. 10:Want any piercings?- I kinda want to. Not 100% sure yet11:Best friend?- @candycornskull12:Relationship status- Taken ♥13:Biggest turn ons- I’m sure I already told you once Feli 14:Biggest turn offs-  Breathplay. Any kind of dub/non - con content I g u e s s 15:Favorite movie- Disneys Atlantis: The lost empire16:I’ll love you if- You buy me food and give me attention or leave nice comments under my art17:Someone you miss- My brother and all you guys tbh. I hope Germany is doing ok18:Most traumatic experience- I don’t know which the most traumatic is but one is that one time my physics teacher screamed at me and humiliated  in front of the whole class and i started crying. Just because I didn’t know the answer and truthfully told him that ‘Sorry I don’t know’19:A fact about your personality- I’m a little piece of shit who can’t talk about feelings without crying20:What I hate most about myself- That I need so much attention? That I’m overthinking. My looks. The whole package of me probably.21:What I love most about myself- My eyes probably. They are pretty if I say so myself.22:What I want to be when I get older- Something that makes me able to live properly and pay bills23:My relationship with my sibling(s)- I really love my brother and I think we have a pretty okay relationship. Just sometimes being little shits to each other. 24:My relationship with my parent(s)- I love my mom and we barely fight so it’s really good! Fucking hate my dad. Preeetttty terrified of him .25:My idea of a perfect date- I don’t think I have a ‘perfect’ date, because theres a lot of stuff I like to do? But I prefer something were you can actually talk to each other (So nothing like a movie). So probably something like just going to get dinner together and chill afterwards. Also kisses. Kisses are always good. Also maybe sex. Depends on the mood though26:My biggest pet peeves- People. Coming. To. Late. Seriously if I ever have to wait an hour again because someone overslept, I’m just going to leave. The hours I wasted on waiting for people is ridicolous. (Unless you’re too late bc of public transport)27:A description of the girl/boy I like- He’s a huge butt. Trust me.Tickles me a lot, but is not ticklish himself which is super unfair by the way >:/ Managed to make me eat salad/healthy stuff, which my family was trying for years. He’s really understanding and tries to support me, always makes sure I’m comfortable. Tries his best to encourage me to do art (But I’m a lazy butt soooo). He’s  working right now but actually just watches youtube videos. Floof hair. I like his face.  A good man 10/10. Love him.28:A description of the person I dislike the most29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend- When I wasn’t feeling mentally well, and ‘I feel too depressed’ wasn’t an excuse to not meet with people yet. 30:What I hate the most about work/school- The entire pressure. I can’t handle it well. Especially feeling anxious about getting asked questions when I didn’t raise my hand.31:What your last text message says- “Nächste Woche wäre besser”32:What words upset me the most- Any kind of words spoken with a raised voice. Makes me cry immediately.33:What words make me feel the best about myself- Nicknames probably. Make me feel appreciated and important to a person.34:What I find attractive in women- Can she potentially crush me with her strenght? Then yes. Yes she’s very attractive.No actually all women are good. Every single one (Trans Women included)Also nice hands35:What I find attractive in men- Respecting me as a person. Enjoy my men less buff actually, so like the opposite of women here. Also nice hands36:Where I would like to live- Don’t really have a certain place yet. Just something with a trainstation tbh. I’m kind of depending on the public transportation ha37:One of my insecurities- Myself. Just the entire thing. (It’s actually looks tbh. I don’t consider myself very pretty. Nothing about myself besides my eyes)38:My childhood career choice- !!!!! A Paleontologist! 39:My favorite ice cream flavor- Cookie Dough or Mango40:Who wish I could be- Just someone whos less depressed and anxious ha41:Where I want to be right now- I’m pretty content with where I am right now 42:The last thing I ate- Apples :O43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately44:A random fact about anything- I had a super good idea for this while I was reading those questions, but now I forgot. So yea.

[survivorcostarica]

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)

[i-amusemyself]

All Lets Get Personal.

Thanks anon!! My depressed ass needed something to do

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

It really depends on my mood tbh. But judging by my YouTube playlists:

Church- Fall out boy; Hopeless Wanderer- Mumford and Sons (its a jam okay?); Summertime- my chemical romance; so cold- ben cocks; this is me- keala settle and killing in the same- rage against the machine

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Lmao idk I dont have much of an interest in anyone atm. I still think itd be cool to meet kaitlyn alexander ig

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

You recognise each other the moment your eyes meet. It’s a question and answer book and the question is about soulmates or something

4: What do you think about most?

What it is I need to do to stop feeling anxious or stressed since it’s a daily battle

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“it was hillarious but I couldn’t say “lmao I’ve seen women take bigger” so I just let the conversation die but I was urging to show him a savage video and ruin him just to be right but then I stopped myself”

Yes, it is as bad in context as out of it.

Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Depends how warm it is tbh

What’s your strangest talent?

Talent? What’s that?? Idk I’m quite good at picking up languages super fast for some unknown reason (but i can forget them just as quick soo

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are hot hot hot they make me gay

Boys are hot hot hot they make me gay

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Nah, but I’m not major sad about it since that’d be so awkward

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Oh gosh um probably in the car the other day, canny remember which song it was tho

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I seriously hate water like to the point I chose my uni based on where the lakes were. I also hate stuffed toys with voice boxes. 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Probably but I don’t remember

13: What’s your religion?

I’m an athiest

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking between indoor places

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it! I’m not photogenic

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Ummmmmmm idk. I genuinly don’t know. I probably listen to five finger death punch most atm?

17: What was the last lie you told?

I said I was feeling good lmao

18: Do you believe in karma?

I don’t know, but I like to hope it does to make myself feel better 

19: What does your URL mean?

I think it’s pretty self explanatory

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My greatest weakness? Probably my low opinion of myself or my associated jealousy.

My greatest strength? A few years ago I mightve said my resilience but I’m not sure I ever have that anymore. Idk, maybe my need to always keep improving as a person

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

See number 2 tbh

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yah every time I have a bath

23: How do you vent your anger?

I send massive long rant paragraphs to my closest friends and try not to do anything stupid or unhealthy

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a pretty big collection of reaction images and memes

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

I hate both but video chatting is slightly better

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I suppose. I’m closer to being happy with them than I ever have been and that’s what matters.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

At this point I hate the sound of my alarm more than most things and I love... idk music. Does that count?

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I’d stood up for myself more?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I don’t know as I believe in ghosts but I’m fascinated by the people who do. As for aliens ofc they exist.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I touch sofa. Both times. I’m sat on a sofa.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

I smell rabbit since he’s currently sat with me in a box. I got lonely.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Gosh I don’t know. I can’t really think of anywhere I’ve hated being, besides home sometimes. I don’t know, no where has been that bad since I always try to make the best of it.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Opposite eh? Lmaoooo

Okay I actually have quite a thing for the lead singer of motionless in white. Make of that what you will.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To be happy, to go good and to die with as few regrets as possible

36: Define Art.

Fuck. Something visual this is made to be aesthetically pleasing or convey a message. I guess.

37: Do you believe in luck?

I’m not entirely sure what luck is. Maybe?

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Fekkin horrible, you wouldn’t know it’s spring. It’s grey and wet and windy and cold.

39: What time is it?

17:51

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I have a full license but haven’t actually driven since my test, so I haven’t had a chance to crash.

41: What was the last book you read?

When breath becomes air. It’s about being a doctor.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

I adore it yaas

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Char, (wholemeal) chorlo and Thot lmao

44: What was the last film you saw?

Love, Simon

Go see it, it’s gay and beautiful!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Idk, I broke my humorous after dislocating my elbow once. But that was ages ago

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Hundreds lmao thats my childhood right there

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I’m too depressed to have much of an interest in anything tbh. Even when I’m not I don’t tend to get That Invested.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Bisexual, ig. Though saying it never feels right for some reason.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

A few, a few. One being that I was a lesbian years before even I knew I wasn’t straight. 

50: Do you believe in magic?

Not really but who knows

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

The threshold for grudges is pretty high but if I have one I’ll be bitter til the day I die

52: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I swing wildly between saving loads and spending loads. Healthy.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Um I mean I paid the deposit on a house, does that count?

55: Love or lust?

Love, for sure

56: In a relationship?

Yeah XD

57: How many relationships have you had?

This is like my third proper one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At home on my tod again, revising

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Nah

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yuup

62: What’s your favourite animal?

I love all the animals I can’t pick a favourite. I love alpacas, chimps, gorrillas, orangutans, lizards, elephants, octopuses etc etc

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Excessive praying and reblogging lucky posts

64: Where is your best friend?

Tbh I have multiple, one in the next village, one 6 hours south and one 4000 miles away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

Christ um, people I spam with likes most are probably @oneshappyplace @apricot-el @only-slightly-dangerous @succeeding and @setheverman

66: What is your heritage?

I’m white as a toilet so my family probably murdered a lot of innocent people

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Umm I was skyping my boyf and playing a game online with him

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Trump

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Yeah, haven’t most people?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I like to think so yeah. Though I do have a lot of breakdowns so maybe without that part. @ my friends I apologise

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Help the dog. Though realistically I probably couldn’t do it alone, so would call someone over to help and leave asap to not be so late.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I think I’d tell the people closest to me, yeah. I don’t know what I’d do though. Probably book as many flights as possible and visit all the countries I’ve always wanted to go to. I guess I’d probably write my will and organise a funeral too. I don’t think I’d be too afraid, just, idk, sad? I don’t want to disappear to nothingness yet, even if I won’t know when it happens.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Argh that’s horrid. I mean trust is essential for all relationships imo. But if I had no love at all in my life I doubt I’d live very long at all. So... love? No wait,,, trust. Yeah trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. It reminds me of a school trip years ago to Belgium that was such a good time

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

8008

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Well, trust ig, being able to talk about anything, a good balance of affection and roasting. Idk

77: How can I win your heart?

Be kind, be funny and have layers.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I suppose so 

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

The decision to reply to the message that appeared in my inbox right before I was going to end it. There were plenty, but I only opened that one. The person who sent it changed my life.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Either a pun or something ominous. Maybe both.

82: What is your favourite word?

Probably sorry since I say it a lot

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love, followed quickly by the mental image of a dissected heart

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

I amuse myself. Gotta keep up that brand sponning.

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Don’t feel like dancing by the scissor sisters lmao

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Black, red and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

Just a galaxy

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald. Trump. When in close proximity to Mike Pence too.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Besides “what are your credit card details”? Idk, perhaps a question about the flaws of the people closest to me, since they’re something I wouldn’t want them to read.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Lie there still for a good 5 minutes just to make sure. Maybe chuck a pillow across the room to see if they attack it. Then go fetch my phone and call whoever will pick up to ask wtf to do.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

The ability to fly probably. It’d help stop me being late and transport is so expensive these days.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

A half hour period of the time me and my friend spent outside laughing our heads off and covered in glitter when I visited her in the states last summer

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Damn, only one? Lmao catch me ranking my traumas to try to answer this question. I’ll erase getting flooded and being made homeless I think lmao

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Probably P!nk since she was low key my gay awakening

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I quite fancy going to amsterdam rn, or failing that, copenhagen

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Only as a little kid

98: Ever been on a plane?

Plenty of times yeah, I love it

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I wish there was some way I could convince all the dictators, extremists and right wingers to just fekkin stop tbh. Centrists can stay but theyre on thin ice.

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 3 "Like Hun....Drink Some Chamomile and Take a Chill Pill" - RTP

COLIN

RED ALERT. 

RED ALERT. [3/2/17, 8:38:33 PM] Trevor: So ummm... I'm gonna go WHAT THE HECK. DOES HE GOTTA DO THIS 22 MINUTES BEFORE THE DEADLINE. LIKE WE CAN'T EVEN REALLY TALK ABOUT IT NOW AS AN ALLIANCE. WHAT IS HE DOING. WHY IS HE DOING THIS. WHAT THE HECK. OH MY GOD I NEED TO FIGURE OUT IF I'M GONNA GO NOW. OKAY REAL TALK IM NOT AND WILL NEVER BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY LOYAL BUT STILL. WHAT THE HECK

DUNCAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovnWp1YTRcA&feature=youtu.be To sum it up in three main points: 1. Im happy to be playing with Owen again 2. Im also just ecstatic in general to play in Ahena again, regardless of the outcome 3. On 3/2/17, at 6:25 PM, Unkie Dunkie wrote: > Fuck me up fam I’m ready to play

JD

Oh my god! What the hell's going on over there that would make them want to come here?? Three people came here, one kinda by accident sure but like... Really? We are a sweet ass tribe but like... Really? It's like someone from London moving to come ' little town ' with only 7000 people there. Something doesn't fit. I don't like it. 

RTP

Ok so we won the challenge which was awesome. I was the only one on my tribe not going to the labyrinth so fuck me eh. i feel pretty good with my ol boys alliance of matt david me and owen. hopefully we can stick it out for a while

then two people quit from odysseus and im like yasssss more ppl gone....and then there is a mutiny. i wanted to mutiny so bad just for the drama, but no one else from my tribe wanted to do it and im not gonna be the dumbass that mutinies by myself...nuh uh..... and then three people from olympus ended up on odysseus...haha omg wtf...im shocked trevor went to lydia and not to me and owen...hmm....im sus of that so now we have this reward challenge...and i make a totally normal comment like...oh hey maybe the people competing should have good survivor knowledge since the challenge is ya know...guessing survivor contestants...and duncan is like YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW SURVIVOR TO WIN THIS....like hun....drink some chamomile and take a chill pill....no technically you dont...but it sure as hell makes it easier....i guess duncan is my first target on this tribe if we lose again....whatever...bye

ROB

Yikes I doubt I made one last round. I'm basically going to rely on my Bangladesh people. I love Logan and Eddie, so they're the perfect people to work with. I like Colin too, I just need to talk to him more. Two people quit and there was a mutiny offer afterwards. Three people from my tribe mutinied when we were literally dominating challenges, sort of. We hadn't lost yet. Trevor, Sam, and Isaac were people I was wary of, so I know that I can't trust them at all since they're obviously not wanting to work with me. I know I'm not talking much, but still. Reward is basically going to rely on me since Logan and Colin aren't well-versed in Survivor and Eddie is MIA. Rip me. If we lose immunity, I feel like Colin will be the person leaving. He's literally the odd man out. Don't know if he knows it. Hopefully, at least, and in my mind. Sorry Colin. I'm screwed.

COLIN

I think I've written more confessionals for the first three rounds of this game than I did for all of PI: Malibu. Oops. But anyway.... that mutiny WHEW. Fuck those guys huh. We went from the ONLY tribe with all 7 members to......... 4 members. I knew Trevor was leaving and I lowkey had a feeling Sam and Isaac MIGHT but still for them all three to leave is such a kick in the face. That alliance between me, Logan, and Trevor lasted not even 24 hours. Not even ONE DAY yall. Hopefully we can slay these next two immunities so we don't have to go to tribal, because that would honestly suck. At least Logan and I have half the vote so that makes me feel a little bit safer, but still without majority and with the possibility of a rock draw/fire making challenge (idk how it would work if it ties) this could be devastating to my game. Anyway, thanks Trevor, you fucked over the person who trusted you the most.

ROB

Hosts are furious.

Immunity went well, bless. At least I hope so.

COLIN THIS IS MY OFFICIAL APPLICATION TO JOIN THE LOGAN FAN CLUB.

Y'all don't even know how much I love Logan. Like I am so glad I got put on a tribe with them and actually got kinda close with them. They're such a sweetheart and so easy to talk to. They are WINNING this season KNOW that. Literally my entire tribe is so cute and sweet now?? Now that the uglies and traitors have left we're all cute and adorable. God I really just hope we don't have to go to tribal at all before the swap. If I have to vote anyone on this tribe I'll cry.

ROB I think I've become the leader of the tribe. I don't want to be, but Eddie is barely here and I don't think Logan and Colin would step up to do challenges and stuff. I like everyone in the tribe and I don't want to lose these immunity challenges. The mutineers will be the first to die. Lying sucks, I'm not positive if I said yet if Sam told me he was NOT going to mutiny.

RTP

Ok so heres a pre-immunity results confessional. so my Ye Ol' Boys Club alliance is going pretty well. it doesnt seem like we are gonna be best friends but we all know its good for numbers and after that first tribal we trust each other. so that seems good for now. and knowing that we are swapping in two rounds is keeping us all from doing anything shady so that when we swap we dont have to worry about each other turning on us. that being said.... in our foursome i feel like i naturally get along with owen the best...hes the easiest for me to talk to...granted i feel pretty comfortable with all three of them....but matt just gave me some tea about the labyrinth and told me that he wasnt telling owen or david. now i have known matt for a long time and i was there for his matt fucking summers days....but i know matt has grown and thats not how he plays anymore but that reputation will never go away...there is a trick to keeping matt on your side....treat him with respect and trust what he says....if youve been friendly and honest with him he will do the same to you...and the second you question or belittle him youre as good as shit because he is already plotting your demise...hmm...treat someone with respect what a concept huh. not only that, but this makes me feel like i have a good #1 ally with matt and a good #1 ally with david. as much as i love owen i know damn well hell turn on me before trevor...and i wouldnt hold that against him...hes a good ally for numbers rn...and it helps in case i swap with trevor and can stick with him too....but i feel more secure knowing i have david and matt on my side and they are closer with me than with owen....i dont really wanna lose...but voting duncan out rn would feel pretty good...hes made some snarky comments to me a couple of times and thats really my biggest criteria for wanting people out....you sass me you get my vote

LOGAN

anyway i wanna die but yay! no loss, and im safe one more round. prayin they vote off trevor. i dont trust you.

ROB

Rob: is there an edgic? Jay: yes Rob: thanks Then I better get positive tone this episode

COLIN

OMG YES WE DID THAT. ok why am I saying we. ROB DID THAT. HE TRULY DID. MY DAD MY KING MY ICON LOVE HIM. Omg I'm so happy we don't have to go to tribal. Now we just gotta survive ONE MORE ROUND before the swap, I'm sure we can pull it off. Wish us luck <3 <3

ALI

The plan for tonight is Crow... I feel like all is going to plan, as far as I know everyone has told me they're voting Crow, bar Ryan (whose told other members of my alliance that he is) and Scott the Silent. I just lied to Crow, and feel bad, but he seems too dangerous... Also, my alliance is now me, JD, Trevor and Lydia, but I'm also close to Isaac and Sam. I feel super in control for now... I for some reason get the impression I'm about to be idoled out, but c'est la vie

TREVOR AND LYDIA

https://youtu.be/UnL6LElg4ZY

ALI

I'm super nervous for tonight. Its like 'Baby's First Blindside'- its very exciting! Anywho, I love my 'The Leal Jousewives of Atlanta' alliance (Trevor,JD,Lydia and I) and I'd hate to be idoled out, when I'm lined up so well! :(

CROW

Ugh, I have a gut feeling that it's probably me tonight, but I have been told otherwise.......lesson learned: don't try and play two games at once xD I am voting for Scott because I know he's the person most likely (behind me) to get targeted/exiled from the tribe. My strategy (although it may look like I don't have one) was to test out the "Anybody but me" strategy, but it doesn't look too good right now... Maybe I'm just paranoid and it'll be 8-1 against Scott, but I have a feeling there's scheming going on that will likely result in my elimination. If I survive this, I pray there's a tribe swap so I can effectively redo my social game LOL, if not, well.....I'll just have to scrap along!

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158048895251/tribal-council-2