#enough of this messing around with fic i havent read before

[singwhenyoucantspeak]

y'all. i think it's time

[anton-luvr]

hi! could i request for boyfriend!anton helping fem!reader sleep and study for her exams as she has a really hard time sleeping due to her stress and anxiety levels

congrats on 400! ♡

# HERE FOR YOU.

⚝ bf!anton x fem!reader | fluff & angst | college au, bf au ⚝ note ; i havent written a fic in a while, so i hope this is okay!! thank u sm anon i hope you enjoy this <3 + if anyone's stressed from exams rn, don't be! make sure to take good care of yourself and just try your best. you got this! ^_^b

You really hated Biology.

You're not even quite sure why you decided to take the subject when you've always struggled with science.

But with your finals taking place tomorrow, there's not much time for you to mourn over your terrible decision.

Mumbling to yourself, you read through your textbook for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour.

Horror sets in when you realize you still don't understand most of the things you're reading - like what the hell is deamination?

Groaning, you rest your head on the table with a heavy thud.

You were never going to pass this test.

Tears start to fill your eyes, rolling down your cheeks as you bury your face in your hands.

You didn't mean to cry, but sobs start to escape you as anxiety rises in your chest.

Why couldn't you understand it?

Were you not smart enough?

What if you were the only one who fails in the entire class?

But those thoughts were shaken right out when the door slams open, startling you.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Anton asks, rushing over to your side.

The moment you feel the warmth of his arms around you, you burst into tears again.

"I'm never going to pass this exam!" you sputtered, tears streaking your face and nose filling with snot. "I'm gonna be the only one who fails!"

Anton's heart shatters at your words, pain biting at his chest when he sees how exhausted and stressed you were.

But he lets you cry it all out in his arms first, soft kisses pressed to your head to remind you that he was there for you.

When your sobs slowly turn into sniffles, he gently pulls away from you.

"Hey, look at me." he calls, tucking your hair behind your ear.

You look up reluctantly, slightly embarrassed at the thought of what a wreck you probably looked like right now.

"Don't worry so much about it," Anton assures. "You're going to go in there tomorrow and try your best. That's all that matters. And even if you fail, it's fine. At the end of the day, grades are just silly letters on a piece of paper."

You nod, too tired from all your crying to give a verbal response.

"And I think your health matters so much more, hm?" he continues, wiping a stray tear away gently. "You look so tired."

You didn't just look tired; you really were tired.

"How about we call it a night and get ready for bed? Your exam's in the afternoon tomorrow, so we can wake up early and study a bit more before you go for it." Anton suggests.

You'd say no, but sleep sounded so tempting right now.

So without any protest, you let him pull you up and lead you to the bathroom, hands interlaced tightly.

"My pretty girl." he sighs, kissing you on the cheek as he sets you on the bathroom counter.

The compliment makes you smile for the first time that day as he starts up a warm shower for the both of you.

When you're done, you let him help you change into your favorite hoodie set - which was all nice and warm because he threw it in the dryer just before you started your shower.

And like the absolute angel he is, Anton lights up your favorite scented candles and disappears into the kitchen to make you a mug of hot chocolate, a heart made out of whipped cream floating on top.

"Feel better?" he asks, massaging your shoulders while you finished your drink.

You hum a 'yes' in reply, pressing a quick kiss on his hand. "Thank you. I was a mess just now." you mumble, embarrassment keeping your eyes glued to the floor:

Anton scoffs at this, kissing you on the lips. "No need to thank me." he mumbles, kissing you again. "I'd do anything for you."

His words make your cheeks flush red as he takes the mug from you, disappearing again into the kitchen to pop it into the dishwasher.

By the time he's back, you're already snuggled under the covers in bed with your eyes shut.

Quietly, Anton dims the lights and gets in beside you.

"You worked so hard today." he whispers, carding his fingers through your hair. "I'm so proud of you. I'm sure you'll do great tomorrow."

He seals his words with another kiss on your lips.

"I love you." you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck while you moved closer into his warm embrace. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

He tuts at this, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

"You'll never have to worry about that, because I'll always be here for you." he promises.

You thank the stars for blessing you with the sweetest lover ever as you eventually drift off to sleep, safe and secure in Anton's arms.

© anton-luvr, 2023.

taglist: @wonbons @mxlly143 @keehobaldboy @shawyle @yenart

[bbyquokka]

6:55 pm (bc)

genre: timestamp, smut — MDNI!

warnings: fem reader, unestablished relationship, virgin reader, fuckboy chan, best friend chan, oral (f rec), vaginal fingering, pet names.

words: 1.4k ~ (1470)

a/n: this + the teaser pics = this mess. this sucks but i havent wrote smut since the changbin fic

☆ m.list — ☆ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“c-chan. wait–” you breathily whimper, fingers wrapped around the man's black locks. his fingertips dig into the skin of your thighs, teeth scraping the insides before gently nipping at the skin.

he looks at you through his lashes, a cocky and mischievous smirk resting on his lips. his tongue slowly darts out to moisten the skin leaving them to glisten in the faint light from the residue of his saliva.

you swallow thickly, your heart beating against your chest at an erratic pace. your body temperature has risen to max. it's a habit of yours to speak and not know when to shut up, especially in embarrassing situations–like five minutes ago to be exact.

you casually stated to your best friend (and fuckboy for that matter) that you've never been eaten out before. chan is your best male friend, a person you feel safe with so you have no problem over sharing, however, once you realised what you had said due to the fact that chan had a shit eating grin, did you curse yourself of your bad habit.

chan is the type of person to only do one night stands. he claims that relationships require time and effort–which he doesn't have right now. one night stands are easy for him. it's a quick fuck and you're done.

you don't care. chan is a grown man, he can do whatever he likes. however, you've heard the rumours floating around about how good chan is at eating pussy so naturally, it piqued your curiosity.

you just didn't expect that same man to be between your legs at this current moment in time.

“you want me to wait?” he cocks his eyebrow. the silver from his brow piercing faintly catching the light. “even after i've got you this worked up?”

you swallow as he hums. his fingertips delicately rubbing your aching cunt through the material of your soaked panties. he presses the pad of his finger against your clit, applying enough pressure to send tingles of pleasure up your spine. you gently tug on his hair causing chan to laugh 

“you and me both know that you don't want me to stop, doll.” he purrs before suckling on the skin of your inner thigh. he leaves purple bruises and teeth marks, your body reacting to the foreign yet pleasurable feeling.

he leaves feather-like kisses on the skin, inching closer and closer to your cunt. he looks up at you for any signs of him to stop, but when he is met with nothing but rosy cheeks and doe eyes, he continues. 

using his middle and index finger, he slowly rubs between your folds through your panties. you let out shaky breathes, chan humming softly as he feels how wet your panties are.

���fuck.. your panties have soaked up your juices nicely.”

“do you have to comment on it?” you mumble, feeling a wave of shyness wash over you.

“what can i say? i like to be vocal.” he says with a smirk before hooking his fingers under the waistband. “can i?”

you nod slowly, swallowing your accumulated saliva. you lift your hips up as chan pulls your panties down your legs and onto the floor. you're met with the cold air of the room hitting your soaked pussy as chan stares at it with hungry eyes.

“shit.. it's so pretty. you're so pretty yn.”

“stoppp.” you whine, legs aromatically closing as an attempt to make chan not stare anymore.

“no.” he whispers, gently prying your legs open again “let me see.” 

you whimper. cheeks flushing pink as you watch chan. his hungry eyes flicker as they take in every detail of your lower half. the way your slick coats your folds and shimmers in the light. how puffy and swollen your clit is. how your entrance pulsates as it waits to be filled with something.

“gosh you're so pretty!” he growls before diving head first between your legs. you shriek as a sudden explosion of pleasure shoots up your spine due to chan's wet tongue gliding over your puffy clit.

“f-fuckk!!” you groan out. he hums as he uses the tip of his tongue to swirl around the bud before licking long strips. he then starts to suck and gently nibble on the bud before slowly licking down to your entrance. 

you moan his name softly, his tongue lapping up your slick. he moans against your cunt from the way you taste, a switch inside him suddenly flipping making him want more of you. the way you sound, the way you taste makes him want so much more of you.

you tug at his hair as his tongue dives in and out of your entrance. breathy moans and shaky whimpers escape from your throat as your body and mind becomes consumed with the foreign feeling of pleasure. you free one hand from his hair to glide under your t-shirt.

you cup your own breast, squeezing and massaging the flesh as you unknowingly buck your hips against chan's face. the tip of his nose bumps against your clit which adds to the overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

chan smirks, letting you do as you please. he lets you buck and ride his face, his tongue alternating from entrance to clit. your fingers pinch and tug at your nipples, head flopping to the side as your lips part.

with shaky thighs, you desperately try to close your legs around his head but chan is strong. with the grip he currently has, it's a useless fight; a fight you should just give up on.

slick and saliva coats chan's face. your moans and the way your body moves sending tingles of pleasure down chan's spine and straight to his aching balls. his cock straining against his jeans. every now and then, he roughly squeezes and palms himself to relieve him of the ache.

you look down as chan pulls away slightly, your brows furrowing together as a way of asking: “everything ok?” chan simply smirks before gathering up some spit and spitting on your cunt.

your eyes widen a little at the dirty, yet attractive, action. all thoughts are quick to leave your mind once you feel chan rub and smear the saliva on your clit and folds. using two fingers, he rubs between your folds getting the skin coated in your slick. 

he teasingly dips the tips of his fingers inside your entrance to be greeted by sudden warmth and the feeling of you clenching around him. he laughs softly as he looks at you, your pink cheeks and doe eyes staring down at him as you chew your lip.

“is this o–”

“yes!” you hastily interrupt “yes! just fuck me chan. please.. i'm aching to feel something.” you curse your virgin self for sounding so desperate, but you couldn't help it. the pleasure you're feeling is so new and scary. you'd be lying to yourself if you said you wasn't scared of what's next but you know you're safe with chan and with each moan you make, the more you love it.

chan swallows thickly as he clenches his jaw. he makes a mental note of how adorable and submissive you look right now, forever burning the image into his brain. 

he'll use that to jerk off later.

he slowly pushes his fingers inside, stopping at the first knuckle. you groan at the feeling of fullness alongside with how thick his fingers feel. he curls his fingers against your walls, slowly pumping them.

your walls contract around him, holding onto his fingers tightly as if you're scared he will escape. he slowly picks up the pace, your eyes fluttering shut. he dares to push his fingers deeper inside, finger curling and caressing your walls.

he angles each thrust in an attempt to hit that spot he knows so well–and when he does, his ears and eyes are blessed with the sight and sound of you. 

you let out a long and desperate moan, back arching as his fingertips abuse your g-spot. you shakily reach down, holding onto his wrist as you dig your nails into the skin. chan smirks before sucking on your clit again.

“fuck fuck fuck. chan, so good. fuck!” you moan, your throat becoming dry from all the panting you've been doing.

“good girl.” chan mumbles “you're doing so well for me.”

your core clenches, stomach dipping and body sweating. you can't say or do anything because you're so consumed with pleasure. you're hazy and all you can think about is having chan's cock deep inside you, ruining your insides.

chan loves the way you sound, taste, smell and feel. his animalistic side getting the better of him as his fingers drive in and out and tongue swirling around your puffy clit.

he wants more; so much more.

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @oshimee ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer

[saintship]

Hii. Saw your requests for Gaz post and of course I have to ask for something!

A neighbour Gaz fic/headcanon. Maybe him having a crush on reader and looking for ways to talk to her (neutral reader is fine too).

I havent seen any neighbour Gaz fics around here.

If not, a coworker Gaz slow burn would be great too!

Thank you 😊

I just read this amazing neighbor fic that might be what you’re looking for, and then I wrote a coworker slow burn here just so you have both concepts to read :)

Hope you like it!

Warnings: Slow build, hurt/comfort, kiss + confession, Graves cameo

Solid Copy - Gaz x Reader

FSS, M4, Fennec..

You leaned down to check each weapon's case, kneeling on the armory's concrete floor. Inventory wasn't the most exciting of the grunt work needed on base, but the repetition was nice. Not many others thought the same, however, always scrambling for a different assignment and leaving you with this one. That is, all except one Sergeant that you'd met your first day on site. Gaz happily paired up with you to stock or organize. You assumed he just needed a break from so many operations he'd been a part of that year, so many unpredictable events after one another. It wasn't often he caught a break.

It wasn’t the first time he’d had the kindness of joining you in a boring task, whether it be inventory, restocking, guard duty, or cafeteria, he always seemed to be there.

If anyone else had chosen to be around you so often, you might have been a little freaked out, but this was different, especially as the months passed and you were more familiar with everyone. A year passed by so quickly you hardly noticed it was that time again; that dead leaves littered the entrance and the wind blew colder every day. The first day there was snow, Gaz had found you on your break standing outside looking at it all. He teased you, but only to get you to turn your back so he could haul a snowball right at the sensitive nape of your neck. He'd ended up losing that battle, though he'd swear up and down for all his days it was a tie.

Two months with no deployments for the task force meant the return of those dull odd jobs. Tonight was cafeteria deep clean, a task out of many that you didn’t consider when you were enlisting. But Gaz was there, as always. You could hear him shuffle around, dropping things and making way too much noise as he cleaned the kitchen. A particularly loud crash caught your attention, your smile dropping to concern. You abandoned your mop, nearly slipping on the wet floor before vaulting the counter and looking around.

“I’m fine..” Gaz’s groan sounded from the back corner; he was pinned under a wooden palette holding an array of heavy steel pans.

“Oh- my god..” You rushed to lift the palette, thanking your weight training for your ability to push it up off Gaz’s leg.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing, it fell!” Gaz got to his feet, gesturing to the culprit.

“That thing is like 40 pounds, it didn’t fall.”

“Okay, maybe I was putting something back on the top shelf, which I can reach,”

“Jesus..” You kneeled to gather the pans that had fallen.

“And when I pulled back..” He trailed off, nodding to the mess with his hands on his hips. You looked up to tell him off again, but saw a large bruise forming below his eye.

“Gaz, your cheek..”

He huffed. “I’m not going red!”

“Will you shut up?” You stepped closer to feel the area, noticing his wince but not noticing the hitch in his breath.

“Are you dizzy?” You were close enough that you could speak quietly.

“No.. but, um, I think I’m hurt here too, you should check..” He directed you vaguely to his jaw, where a tiny bruise was barely visible.

You blinked, still lost at what his deal was, but examined it anyway. “I think we need to amputate.”

“Amputate my head?” A smile crept over his features, and now your breath was catching.

“Let’s just..clean this..”

“It was nice of you to check on me.”

When you looked up from where you crouched in the mess he’d made, he was grinning. You forced down the fluttering in your ribcage.

“Thought you’d gotten really hurt..” You placed a few of the pans back, and Gaz did the same until the floor was clear again.

“You were worried about me?” The teasing in his voice was clear as day; his embarrassment behind him.

“No. Just..whatever.” You slid back over the counter, mopping the rest of the floor without sparing a single glance. No matter how much you were dying to, especially when you felt his eyes burn into your back. You only turned when you felt the aluminum corner of a file poke your shoulder. You put away the cleaning equipment, taking the file from his hand.

“What’s this?”

“Emergency hostage rescue. Alejandro’s guys.”

You scanned the file as quickly as you could, shaking off the light feeling that seemed ridiculous now that you knew of this.

“Just the 141?”

“Backup is on standby, Price thinks the Shadows might show up and try to get the hostages first.”

“What does Graves want with Vaqueros?” You asked, looking up. Gaz only shook his head.

“Nothing nice, I reckon.”

Price leaned into the entryway of the cafeteria, slinging a rifle over his shoulder. “Wheels up in 10!”

“Aye, Captain!” Gaz chirped. You continued studying the file before filing it in your bag, accompanying Gaz to the briefing room. Your weapons and gear hadn’t even been stored since the last mission and you were already strapping all of it back on. The file hadn’t said much; there were at least a dozen Vaqueros being held against their will by a band of Hassan’s leftover soldiers.

“You’d think Hassan wouldn’t be able to give us any more grief with a bullet in his head.” Gaz grumbled as the both of you clambered into the helicopter.

“His men were young when he recruited them.” Price exhaled a breath of smoke, studying the horizon. “He preyed on the ones looking for a purpose. Teenagers love a revolution.”

“They won’t let his message die.” You finished quietly.

Gaz strapped into the seat beside you before raising a fist to connect with your own. “We will.”

The sun had risen fully by the time the heli touched the sand, the exposed terrain already heightening your awareness.

“Soap, Ghost, come in.” Price spoke into his radio.

“Opposite your position, descending the hillside. Target building in our sights.” Ghost replied.

“Wait there. Soap, get ready for your specialty.”

“Aye, sir. You spoil me.”

Price smiled. “Blow it up, Sergeant.”

“Engaging. Brace for debris.”

“How big is this bomb?” You asked.

“The entrance is built to hell, we need some serious force.”

Gaz leaned over to watch Soap plant the device from afar. “Sweet.”

“Planted.” Soap chirped. “L.T.’s got the detonator.”

Price waited until Soap was at a good distance before carrying the order. “Light it up, Simon.”

“With pleasure.”

The entrance erupted in a brilliant light, bits of steel flying in every direction. Gaz watched for a moment before drawing back quickly.

“Shit..”

“What now?” You tugged on his shoulder to angle his face toward you.

“I’m fine.” A shard of steel had glanced over his forehead, narrowly missing his eye.

“You’re lucky.” You retorted.

“Focus..” Price glowered over his shoulder.

“Yes, sir.” Gaz wiped the blood away from his brow and moved up, you on his tail. The five of you circled the entrance, noting the silence.

“It’s quiet.” Ghost huffed.

“Actual, this is Price. Can we get confirmation we’re alone here?”

“This is Actual,” Kate’s voice replied through the radio system. “Your old friend got here first. Move in now.”

“Fuckin’ hell.” Ghost’s words bit the air as he tailed Price, you and the rest following behind. The halls were narrow; only two could fit lengthwise as you moved past the damp walls. A bolted door led to a stairwell to the basement, where shouting and commotion could be heard.

“Stay neutral for now.” Price murmured. All guns were stowed as you descended the stairs, bringing up the back end of the line. You heard Graves before you saw him.

“You will fuckin’ listen to me, or you’ll be sprayed against that wall, do you hear me?”

“Graves.” Price’s voice leveled with a twinge of threat.

He turned; his eyes lighting up in surprise.

“Well I’ll be.” Graves murmured, stalking forward. His rifle dangled at his side as if it was a toy.

“I’m afraid you’re being overridden. SAS has business here, your club does not.” Price walked up so he was looking down at him, emphasizing his taller stature.

Graves barked a short laugh, looking away before glancing back, a fire in his eyes. “Shadow Company is an enterprise. A haven for men held back by the military!”

“You’re fragile.” Your mouth moved faster than your head; that much was clear when Graves’ sharp eyes shifted to you.

“You’re new..” His voice growled with something that made you tense. “And you’re American. How’s that work, huh?”

“I’ll ask once.” Price seethed, stepping forward even further. “Leave. Now.”

“No can do, Cap’n.” Graves cocked his gun. “These young men have to go. And then your little Vaqueros—are going with me.”

“Over my fuckin’ corpse.” Ghost rumbled.

“And what a sight it’ll be.” Graves retorted.

You made the first shot; striking Graves in the abdomen. A non lethal wound; just what he deserved, in your opinion. The room erupted in gunshots, ricocheting bullets, and the rustic odor of fresh blood. The shadows that were there were mowed down until the room fell silent again. You looked to Gaz, his usually bright eyes a dark ochre as he stalked toward Graves. He picked him up by his vest, ignoring his groan as he was pushed against the wall and bound at his wrists; just as he’d done to the Arabic soldiers.

“These men need to be arrested, not executed, you fucking lunatic.” Gaz seethed.

“You don’t know shit about this world, son.” Graves heaved, blood staining his teeth. “If they’re alive, they’ll come back.”

“Not your decision to make, Graves.” Price replied. “Maybe it would be if you were a soldier.”

“I am a-" Graves huffed, his shortness of breath betraying his anger. “I am..”

“Sergeant, save his life so we can go. Now.” Price nodded to you, and you kneeled at Graves’ side, packing his wound.

“Gaz, let’s go. Still need to find Alejandro’s guys.”

He cast an uncertain glance at Graves before releasing his vest, following the team up the stairs while you worked a length of gauze into the bullet wound you’d ripped through the man in front of you.

“Why aren’t you shooting me?” Graves’ adrenaline hadn’t worn off; he was hyperventilating harder still.

“It’s the difference between military,” you secured the bandage patch. “and you.”

His eyes looked glassy; his breathing only worsening.

“Graves, breathe.” You held his shoulder. “You’re not going to die.”

“You..” His eyes flashed with hurt, confusion, anger. Anger at you, at the military, at himself. He shook his head roughly like a wet dog, grunting. "Fuckin' hell.."

"You need to breathe deeper." You reached to loosen his vest, though he flinched away for a moment before resigning to the improvement the breathing room gave him. You could tell his thanks was on the edge of his tongue, his pride holding back any sign of agreement.

He looked down, and groaned at the sight; it wasn't a clean shot.

"Don't." You ordered, your knuckle knocking his head upward by his chin. "It's worse than it looks."

"You'd know your own handiwork, huh?" He heaved. "You should be in the Army."

"Fine where I am."

"You sure, honey? I'm short a few marksmen thanks to your friends."

“On your feet." You heaved him upward, and nearly jumped out of your skin when you turned to see Gaz still watching from the bottom of the stairs.

“Gaz?”

Before he could respond, Soap was guiding Graves up the stairs, leaving you with your strangely silent friend.

“Is something wrong?”

Gaz sighed, pacing behind you, causing you to turn.

“You helped him.” His tone was low.

“Yes? It was an order.” Your brow furrowed.

“No..” Gaz glanced up at you, a glare in his eye you’d never seen before. “You helped him calm down. You comforted him.”

His disdain dripped with every word.

“Gaz, he was in shock.” You retorted. “What are you so suspicious of?”

“That you care about him. You care about that piece of shit.” Gaz gestured vaguely.

“I barely know him; how did you jump to this?”

“I’m not jumping to anything, I saw you-"

“You saw me do my job!”

"That was not what that was.”

“Gaz, why do you care so much?”

“Because I care about you!”

It was the only time he’d ever, ever raised his voice at you. The first time you’d seen tears well in his eyes, even though he’d never let them fall in front of you.

“If he were to lay a fucking finger on you, I-" Gaz tensed his fists, his eyes closing and his brow gathering in a frustrated pattern.

“I don’t.. " You stared, speechless. “Gaz..”

“Moving out, everyone to extraction.”

“I’m sorry.” It was all Gaz left you with before brushing past you and up the stairs.

The walk and flight back, the debrief, the morning after in the cafeteria, he didn’t even look at you. His dark circles deepened, he didn’t eat, he didn’t go out with Soap to the pub near base. And of course, when other people noticed, they asked his closest friend what was going on; you. And then you were the one avoiding mealtimes and celebrations, because you couldn’t help them with their questions.

You missed him desperately; your tasks without him were dull and never ending, the entire time your mind only on one man.

Eventually you decided to accept Soap’s invitation to drinks; you needed to break the cycle you’d fallen into. You didn’t even dress up, sticking to the lighter layers of your uniform and a nice necklace to lighten it all.

The base was lucky to have such a cozy spot close by; most of the patrons were soldiers or veterans too. There were rumors of the bartender being Price’s placement instructor, but the Captain never indulged to confirm or deny.

You were a bit late, speed walking through the entrance over to the booth where Soap and Ghost were playing cards. You slid in next to Ghost, eyeing the bar where you saw Price, and next to him, Gaz.

“What’s with the kid, anyway?” Ghost leaned down to murmur in your ear. “Looks like shit.”

“Can’t argue.” Sop added.

You toyed with the card box, studying the pattern on the front to avoid Soap’s eyes. “I don’t know.”

“Weren’t you trained in covert operations? You should be a better liar.” Ghost laid down his hand.

“AYE, you wee scunner!”

“If you want to hurt my feelings, you need to do it in english.”

Soap huffed. “You fucking bitch.”

“There we are.” Ghost shuffled the deck while you looked astray, the music drifting around you seeming to quiet when Gaz cracked a smile at something Price said.

“Gonna shove you outta here in a minute.” Ghost remarked. “Fuckin’ talk to him, he’s useless.”

You sighed, tossing the box back on the table and pushing yourself to your feet. You casted a glance back, at which Soap gave you a dorky double-thumbs up. A sideways glance at Price gave him the message to fake a bathroom visit, leaving Gaz to drink from his bottle alone for a few minutes. You came up quietly, ordering something neat that came to mind before easing into the space beside him. Seeing you, he exhaled noisily, halfway out of his seat before you spoke.

“Please, Gaz..”

He allowed himself to relax back into the stool, facing forward.

“Just go.” His voice was gentler than you’d anticipated. The bartender handed you your drink, and you drank a mouthful.

“I don’t want to.” You said simply.

His leg began to bounce, and you wondered how good of an idea this was.

“I need to stay away from you. It’s the only way things can work smoothly.”

Your brow furrowed for a moment, and he noticed, closing his eyes while rubbing at his forehead.

“I care too much. It’s going to get somebody hurt.”

“How can you be sure if you won’t let it happen?” You replied slowly.

“I’ve seen it happen; it doesn’t work.”

You shook your head. “Gaz, I won’t just ignore you forever, you have to know that’s unreasonable.” Your voice shook for a moment. “You’re my squadmate, you’re my friend. I will not leave you to rot because you’re scared, that’s exactly when I should be with you.”

You didn’t know what possessed your words as you pleaded with him, but they were pouring out, and it felt right. Being beside him felt right.

Gaz looked into your eyes for the first time in weeks.

“I’ll hurt you.”

You took his hand.

“I’ll let you.”

Gaz stared for a few moments, his eyes darting to search your face for any insincerity. When he found nothing, he tugged you off the stool, leading you through moving bodies and clouds of cigar smoke to the curb outside.

“It’s freezing..” You looked up at him as he finally stopped, the street lamps illuminating his face.

“I’m sorry..” He absentmindedly ran his hands down your arms to warm you, the action furthering your confusion. "I just.."

"What is it?"

Gaz's breath was visible in the cold air, a puff that crowded between the two of you when he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. His hands held your head gently, and your arms found their way around his. He only stopped for a breath before leaning in again, his nose nudging against yours. He pulled you closer, kissed you longer. Between his exchanges, he breathed a simple phrase, as if he wanted to transfer the words into your very soul.

"I'm in love with you."

[endcrman]

Allostasis

(Chapter 2)

As a general rule of thumb, Grian doesn’t do public servers for a multitude of reasons. This one hadn’t even made it onto the list.

TW for implied sexual assault, PTSD symptoms, Self-Neglect, and minor Disordered Eating

Read the whole fic here.

-

Grian woke to more messages. Some from hermits, but he didn't bother looking at those too closely, too preoccupied with the hours-old notification in the universal chat.

samgladiator: griannnnnnn

samgladiator: i know you havent blocked me grian cmon

samgladiator: are you mad about the redstone thingy? i was just goofing and gaffing you know what im like lol

Grian laid his head back against his pillow, eyes closed as he tried to figure out how to respond. His eye hurt. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to build, he didn't want to fish, he didn't want to work on anything right now. He was tired.

His comm buzzed again.

GoodTimeWithScar: hey grain, how are you doing after yesterday?

Grian: bit tired, but just fine! thanks for checking in

He was tapping out a lie before he could even think about it, not wanting to worry Scar. He had enough to concern himself with even before Grian was involved, he didn't have to add any more stressors to his plate.

Scar said something else, but Grian had closed his messages already, opening Sam's again, staring at them. What was he even supposed to say to that? Call him out on his bullshit? Laugh along with his shitty excuse of a joke? A voice in the back of his head was telling Grian to block him, but that would just make Sam mad, he reasoned.

Grian: what do you want sam

He regretted the message the instant he sent it, flinching as he turned off his comm again. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn't he leave well enough alone?

Grian turned over on his side, pulling a pillow over his head with a groan as the communicator buzzed. If only he hadn't just woken up, then he could fall asleep again and ignore all of this for even longer. 

Of course, Grian had no such luck. Instead he laid there, staring at the blank wall in front of him.

His comm buzzed yet again and Grian let out a bitter laugh, he could almost imagine Sam staring in anticipation at his own comm, waiting for Grian to get back to him after all this time. It was kind of pathetic, if that was what he was doing. How lonely was he?

And yet, Grian was reaching over to read his messages anyways.

samgladiator: i'm sorry.

samgladiator: like for real. no jokes. i know we were really messed up as kids and ive been working on it i promise. i guess i saw you and it just felt like we were kids again. fucked up but still in it together. i didnt mean it

He was still trying to process the words when another message came through, automatically populating the chat.

samgladiator: you can keep ignoring me if you want, i get it :( but if youre ever willing, i wanna make it up to you. text me whenever

He was going to throw up. There were a few panicked moments as he dug through his chests, silently pleading to anyone listening that he actually had a bucket up in his base, not just lost in his chest monster down below. His wishes were answered luckily, however unneeded, as he curled over the metal bucket on the floor, retching and dry heaving. His stomach was already empty, bile burning his throat, but that wasn't enough to curb the ill piercing it's way through his entire being.

Grian wasn't sure how long he sat there, bucket in his lap as his body tried to evacuate his stomach's non-existent contents. He was trembling when he finally managed to stop gagging, the bucket empty aside from a couple stray tears that had made their way down his cheeks. He was so tired again.

Shakily, he set the bucket down on the ground, easily accessible just in case. The sound of metal meeting the wooden floor was so, so loud in his ears, echoing around his base, making him flinch. Grian took a deep breath, carefully getting up on two wobbly legs before rolling into bed again. He should eat. 

He didn't get up, falling asleep again.

-

I'm sorry. Sam might as well have written those words on the inside of Grian's eyelids, as often as he was stuck thinking about them. Sam didn't apologize, that was part of what made him so insufferable to begin with, always convinced that he was in the right. So what the hell was this?

Grian wasn't sure how long it had been since he received those last messages from Sam, not really bothering with the passage of time. He'd spent most of said time thinking, turning over what had happened and what Sam had said in his head, picking at pieces of food he had laying around the base, and making up excuses to not have to see any other hermits.

He knew he was in a sorry state, and he knew he had to pull himself together before anybody saw him. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to have other plans.

“Grian!” Joel's voice was loud, Grian almost didn't recognize it as his own name, directed towards him. He pulled a pillow over his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe if he ignored him, he'd go away.

That was too much to hope for though. Why would Joel ever go away when he could cause problems instead?

“Grian! It's Sunday!” His voice was getting closer, and all Grian could think to do was hold the pillow even tighter over his head. “It's Sunday and you're not at the permit office! Get your butt out here! Or else I'll come in, and drag you out of your birdhouse by your scrawny little ankles, I swear to-'' Joel's voice peaked in both volume and proximity the same time it petered off into uncertainty. Then, it was quieter again. “Grian?”

Grian just groaned in response, holding the pillow even tighter over his head, maybe he could suffocate in it. Then he would respawn, Joel would laugh it off, call him some names for being stupid enough to do something like that, and everything would go back to normal instead of whatever else was about to happen, whatever lecture he was about to receive.

No such luck. Instead he felt a touch on his forearm, something he instinctively rolled away from which left him looking up at the other, wide eyes meeting even wider. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t force anything to come out. He noticed too late to stop just how tightly he was clutching the pillow to his chest, he must look like a mess.

Joel slowly withdrew his hand, and judging by how his brows furrowed and ears flattened against the top of his head the mess part was definitely true. Without wasting another moment, Joel schooled his expression into something more neutral— as if his tail flicking back and forth didn’t give him away— and sat bodily onto the foot of Grian’s bed, bouncing on the mattress.

“You seem busy, the permit office can wait,” he said with a shrug, not looking directly at Grian. He sat cross-legged, pulling his tail into his lap to brush the fur into place, pulling out a leaf and dropping it on the floor without even checking if Grian would care. His wings itched at the reminder of what could be. “Impulse’s wall is starting to get some graffiti on it, have you had a chance to see? Gem’s got a real good tag up there, I think you’d like it.”

Grian was silent, pulling his legs up just a bit so they weren’t in Joel’s way and shifting onto his back to look up at the ceiling instead of the tanuki in front of him. He couldn’t tell if this was better or worse than if the other had just confronted him about what was going on.

“I’ve actually been thinking about what I want to put on it,” Joel continued after a moment, as if the other actually had responded. Grian’s muscles ached from the sudden movements after what felt like days of disuse, leading to him stretching his legs out again, around Joel this time, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I need to put something up over by my base, I couldn’t stand it if it didn’t match my build, even if it was undeniably fantastic.”

He just kept talking, filling the empty air with his voice. Grian wouldn’t admit it, but it was sort of soothing, having somebody else around instead of just jumping from thought to thought, getting lost in them and feeling worse and worse.

It did start feeling awkward after a little, having Joel sit while he laid in bed, so Grian forced himself to sit up even as his muscles protested, at least a little, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

“Thought you might have fallen asleep or something,” Joel joked once Grian had settled, making him look away in embarrassment. “I wouldn’t have blamed you, you look blummin’ tired, huge bags under your eyes. Something bothering you?” He asked, as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Grian only shrugged, not trusting his voice after so long, thankfully Joel didn’t push for an answer beyond that, coming to the same conclusion. “Stupid question, sorry. New question, when’s the last time you got out of bed?”

Grian must have made a face at that, because Joel laughed before managing to catch himself, snapping his mouth shut, which pulled the quietest huff of laughter out of Grian in turn. Just that by itself made his throat hurt a bit.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be a good friend here.” Joel’s tone was light, and his smile made it clear he considered the small noise a success. “Hey, bed boy, let’s get you up and clean, how’s that sound? You go shower, and I’ll make you some real food.”

He wanted to protest, but his throat felt all closed up, and his traitor of a stomach growled at the thought of something other than stale bread for the first time in forever. Instead he pouted, petulant, and held his hands out.

“Yes!” Joel pumped his fist, making Grian roll his eyes. This was so stupid. “Sorry, come on, let’s get you moving again.” He slid off the bed first, taking Grian’s hands and helping him stand up. He almost fell at first, leaning far too much of his weight onto Joel, his legs wanting to do nothing but lay down again. “Careful, can you stand by yourself?”

It took a couple hundred ticks for him to stop swaying, and a couple more for him to finally stand on his own, wings spread just a bit to help him keep balance. He took a deep breath, trying to think of anything but said wings.

“Good job, you’re doing great,” Joel murmured, and it didn’t sound mocking at all, but Grian couldn’t help himself from ruining everything good that happened to him.

“I’m not a child,” he croaked out, voice rough from disuse, it almost didn’t sound like him.

Joel must have thought the same, because he looked shocked, though he quickly gathered himself again. “I know you’re not,” he scolded gently, too kind, “but you look like you’ve been through hell and back, and I want to make this as easy for you as possible."

And now he felt bad, guilty, for ever considering anything different than that. “Sorry,” he managed, even quieter, but Joel shook his head.

“Go get cleaned up, alright? I’ll make some food for you.” He brushed Grian’s hair out of his eyes, brows furrowing again, and he only pulled away when Grian nodded, throat hurting too much to say anything else at the moment.

He didn’t think Joel was going to find anything to make in his base right now, having neglected to actually fill many of the chests, Grian was lucky to have had enough bread to last him as long as it had. Regardless, he made his way to the tiny shower he’d managed to cram into the base, cranking the water heat up as high as it could for now and carefully pulling his t-shirt he’d been wearing for void knows how long off over his wings. He crinkled his nose, imagining the smell he’d become blind to and immediately feeling grateful that Joel hadn’t said anything about it.

Grian kicked off his pants without much fanfare and immediately dove into the shower, melting under the hot water. Now that he was made aware of it, he could feel the layer of grime that was surely there covering his skin, burning water finally melting it away. He carefully sat on the floor of the shower, barely managing to fit in the small space, especially with his wings. He took a deep breath, resting his head on the wall behind him, and just soaked it up like a fish left out of the river for too long, he chuckled softly to himself at the comparison.

He must have dozed off or something, because he jolted awake at the sharp knock on the door, and Joel's voice coming from just outside of it. “You alright in there Grian? Food’s almost done!”

“Y-yeah!” He called back before even thinking about it, regretting it immediately, voice scratchy. His throat hurt, but he didn't have time to worry about that, fumbling for the shampoo among the other bottles in the shower with him.

He definitely spent too much time just sitting under the water, so he tried to properly clean himself up as quickly as possible, so Joel wouldn't be left waiting. It wasn't long before he was out again, towel around his waist, hair and feathers dripping as he peeked out the door into the rest of the base.

“Joel?” He tried not to speak too loudly, not wanting to irritate his throat more, but he needed the other's attention. It seemed the other wasn't wandering far though, with how quickly he reappeared. “Can you-” He coughed. “Can you bring me clean clothes?”

Joel brightened up the more he spoke, nodding quickly as his tail swished behind him. “Of course! Be right back!” And he was off again.

He was back just as quick, and Grian didn't have the energy to ask him how he managed to find everything so easily, and whether or not his closet was left in decent state. Instead he closed the bathroom door again, pulling on clean clothes and already feeling a bit better. The sweater topped that feeling off, covering him like a security blanket. He shook the water out of his hair and wings before padding out into the main room again, catching a whiff of something that smelled amazing.

“Hey,” Grian's gaze fell on Joel, who was setting up a place for him to sit. “Your hair's a mess still.”

He blushed, shrugging his shoulders. He sat down before Joel even suggested he did, feeling tired.

“I can brush it for you,” he offered, setting down a grilled salmon in front of Grian, whose mouth was watering already. “I've done it for Lizzie before, I promise not to pull.”

“Did you catch this?” Grian asked instead, forcing himself to slow down before he ate the whole thing immediately.

“Borrowed one of your poles, figured you wouldn't mind too much,” Joel explained, setting a steaming mug down in front of him too.

He hummed softly in response, forcing himself to slow down after a couple bites and taking a sip of the tea Joel had made him. Far too sweet.

“I added some extra honey,” either Joel was reading his mind, or he'd made a face without realizing. “Your throat sounded pretty rough, it'll be good for you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, truly meaning it, whether it sounded that way or not. Joel was pretty quiet while he finished eating, puttering around the small base, occupying himself. Eventually he finished, pushing the plate away for later, and he heard Joel coming up behind him.

“I found your brush, mind if I take care of your hair?”

Grian sighed, a little smile creeping onto his face. “I guess, you promised not to pull though,” he reminded the other, head tilting back a bit.

“And I meant it!” Joel sounded offended, though he snickered after a second. “It'll help, you'll feel more like a person,” he murmured, and Grian felt him starting to work his fingers through his hair.

“You've been helping a lot already,” Grian admitted softly, relaxing easily into the touch. How long was his hair now? It couldn't be too much longer than he usually kept it.

“Glad to hear,” for once Joel didn't sound smug or full of himself, just genuinely glad. “How long have you been out of it?” The brush started working it's way through his hair.

“Dunno,” Grian mumbled, taking a deep breath. “Since… Since I last went off server,” he felt himself tense a little at the reminder, wings twitching.

“With Scar and Mumbo?” Joel kept his tone even, non-judgemental for once. “They mentioned your eye, was that what happened?”

A hand suddenly flew up to his eye, gently touching the skin near it. “P-part of it. Is it still there?” He'd been avoiding looking in the mirror since.

“Barely,” Joel assured him, and the motion of the brush through his hair started relaxing him again. “I only noticed because I knew to look for it. You said part, what else happened?”

He felt like his throat was closing up, eyes watering a little. “My- my wings,” he managed out, taking a deep breath. “Something happened.”

“Something,” Joel repeated, hands never stopping. “Are they alright? Nothing broken at least? They don't look broken.”

“N-nothing broken,” Grian confirmed, feeling them tremble, just a little. “Don't really wanna-”

“That's fine,” Joel murmured, and it was quiet for a moment. “With me? Or with anyone?”

He didn't know how to answer that, opening his mouth to begin speaking, only to close it when he couldn't think of anything. No, not Joel specifically, but he wasn't sure who, if he would anyone.

“I usually braid Lizzie's hair when I'm done,” Joel said nonchalantly, the brush regretfully leaving Grian's head, “but yours is pretty short. We could try a little ponytail if you want, I think it'd be fun.”

Grian shook his head, reaching for the mug of tea again. Knowing Joel, he'd gather up all the hair in front of his head, pull it all together right on his forehead… Though maybe not today specifically.

There was silence for a bit, comfortable, until Joel decided to speak again. “Would you tell Mumbo?”

Grian froze. Would he? He could. Mumbo knew the kind of stuff he went through when he was young, even if just vaguely. He was scared though, there was always the chance, no matter how small, that Mumbo would scold him when he found out just how deep that rabbit hole went.

“Careful, you'll shatter that,” Joel warned him, moving to take the mug from his white-knuckled hands, setting it down on the table again. Grian hadn't even noticed how tightly he'd been holding onto it. “Not Mumbo then, what about Scar?”

Scar. Scar didn't know any of it. At least, he knew less than Mumbo, he'd have less context clues to put it all together, he'd be reliant on the details Grian told him, and only those.

“... Maybe, I don't know,” he answered honestly, tracing the grain in the table with his finger.

“Maybe is better than no, or trying to shatter a cup of boiling tea all over yourself,” Joel was being dramatic, it wasn't even steaming anymore. “Why don't you take a nap? I'll get him over here in the meantime, I think he'll help, even if you don't tell him.”

Grian hadn't even realized how tired he was again, the thought of a nap sounding much more pleasing to him than it usually would. He didn't even think to argue, nodding as he carefully got up from the table, a yawn escaping him.

“Careful now,” Joel warned, helping him to bed. Grian would have taken offense at that were he not so exhausted, and the second he was laying down again he was out like a light.

[sadkois]

you know what! i LOVE fics/aus/whatever revolvin around TIME SHENANIGANS (biggest example is time travel) and there needs to be more of these with nishiki and so here's a few ideas i've been thinking about...

Back to the past. after the explosion, nishiki wakes up in the past. sort of a second chance i guess :) (alt. kiryu is the one sent to the past. alt2. they both get sent to the past)

Time loop. similarly, after the explosion, nishiki wakes up in the morning of the final battle, except this time he has to relive the same day over and over... and over...

Switcheroo. 2005!nishiki & 80's!nishiki switch places :)

Back to the... future? nothin to do with that movie asgdh just send any nishiki into the future. it doesn't even have to be y0 to kiwami. it could be like. idk. get a nishiki thrown to y5. one of these could be either y0 or 1996 nishiki gets sent to y7. i really want nishiki to meet ichiban lmao

Meet&Greet. well, you know. all the ideas before only had one nishiki running around. but what if the past meets the future :)

Time Out. time stops while nishiki and kiryu are throwin punches. like, it stops for everyone except them.

read more for my nonsense. spoilers for y0 & kiwami. tw for suicide.

BACK TO THE PAST

After the EXPLOSION in kiwami, nishiki wakes up in the past. WHEN in the past you wonder? why there's a lot of possibilities... it could be anywhere between y0 and kiwami :') maybe even when they both were younger... tho my personal favourite moments are:

the moment he was pointing the gun at kiryu in y0. (he has a gun! when he exploded he had a gun too!)

the exact moment he killed dojima (yep another moment where he has a gun in his hands... )

LIKE HE CAN MAYBE FIX THINGS OR MAKE THINGS WORSE LMAO. BUT ALSO PLEASE SAVE YUKO... AAA

i havent thought much of this but yea. as for the alternatives. well i wanna talk about alt2 cause its always fun when two characters are sent to the past but they DONT know the other one knows, if u get what i mean lmao

TIME LOOP

OK COME ON, TIME LOOPS ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST THINGS.

AGAIN. after the EXPLOSION, nishiki wakes up in the past, except this time he's gonna be stuck in a loop instead :) i think it would be great for it to be the morning of the final battle (alternatively 2 days before the final battle. tbh im a bit unsure of the timeline, but im takin the morning as having reina and shinji already dead, while 2 days prior has everyone alive... depends on how bad things are gonna be for everyone lmao)

this is the idea i have thought of the most but at the same time im incapable of putin it into words aaaa

but just. imagine nishiki having to relive the same day over and over. obviously he doesnt realize hes in a loop the first time, he sees it instead as a second chance to actually win lol. i think nishikis smart enough to actually manage this while having knowledge of the "future". so he wins. gets rid of jingu. gets the money. he thinks he's done it but the loop starts again :) actually, to confuse nishiki a bit, maybe he should get shot at the end of that first loop. so he thinks he just messed up that last part :) but yea. he relives everything again and again and again and what is he supposed to do to escape this hell. (oh he absolutely thinks this is just hell at some point. he died the first time and this is his personal hell....) some scenarios for some of the loops could be:

he ends up killing kiryu instead (for this one the loop doesnt immediately begin again. i want him to go really 'what have i done' for this one lmao)

he shoots/stabs himself the first moments of a loop. he, of course wakes up again like nothing happened

he just. leaves. grab his car and drive out of this place for good. it doesnt work.

i want him to talk about the loop to someone. theres many characters he could talk to... kiryu maybe being the last resort...

i want something funny cause it cant be all too awful all the time. i dont know what tho.

he ends up threatenin/killlin/etc etc quite some people

of course this all ends at some point but aaaa thinkin about it.... thinkin about it.

SWITCHEROO

still thinkin about it. i think it would be fun for them to switch with their appearances too. like, 2005 nishiki with his bigass eyebags and blood gel hair is suddenly in serena with kiryu and reina.

BACK TO THE FUTURE

OK DAMMIT. ignoring everything else to just say that ichiban and nishiki should be friends. ICHIBAN IS THE KINDA FRIEND NISHIKI NEEDS OK. SOMEOEN WHO ISNT AFRAID TO EMOTE. (WHO CAN EMOTE OASGDHFJG) also this could actually also be sendin ichiban to the past or soemthin idk. WAIT. IT COULD BE SOMETHIN LIEK THE XMEN FUTURE PAST MOVIE. I DONT KNOW.

MEET&GREET

i feel like 80s nishiki & 2005 nishiki would hate each other on sight and i wanna see it. 2005 nishiki cause ew thats my cringe past self and 80s nishiki would pick up those vibes immediately. and once hearing about everythng 2005 nishiki did he would start throwing punches lmao. at the end i think they should talk tho. maybe they can help each other out...

TIME OUT

OK YEA. U KNOW THAT PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR EPISODE WITH KING JULIEN N KOWALSKI? if not. well. the thing is while they are punchin each other out time stops. of course they dont freakin notice until nishiki falls down and kiryu gets the chance to look around. yumi and haruka are frozen. he notices nishiki is the only one actually breathin and we go from there :) practically the fic to force them to TALK. (watch one of them freakin leave lmao)

ALSO YES I REALIZE TIME SHENANIGANS OR WHATEVER ARENT REALLY NECESSARY FOR SOME OF THESE BUT HEY . I JUST LOVE THOSE OK.

[wkemeup]

for drabble night- which i am so excited for, by the way!! you're a marvelous writer and one of my top favorite bucky writers- my personal favorite trope is oblivious idiots to lovers (like the love is requited but they're just idiots)

dialogue prompt: “I’m too good for revenge.” “Well I’m not. Give me the gun.” - from anon pairing: bucky x reader word count: 1.4k warnings (provided by @jessalyn-jpeg): idiots to lovers, mutual pining, shouted love confessions, (and warnings from me ->) past torture, descriptions of blood, canon level violence, sorry I made this so dark??? a/n: guess who already broke the 1k rule!!! but hey I loved this one and Im a little sad it's a drabble and not a monster fic. it may not be idiots per say, but definitely two people who love each other who havent admitted it yet and are scared of what it means

A man withered on the ground at your feet, scrambling along the prodding edges of crumbled concrete. Crawling as blood streaked in his wake. This man – this monster – you'd been chasing for weeks was reduced to a helpless, crying mess as you towered over him. His hands shook as they shielded his face, tears streaking over his cheeks. This time, you held the power. You held the leverage. He wasn’t so scary without the table of surgical tools at his disposal – your blood stained upon his hands and a maniacal grin upon his lips.

You didn’t know his name. He was only ever ‘the Doctor’ when you spoke of him in your head. You’d only uttered the phrase once since the team rescued you from his basement two months ago and even then, it had tasted of venom. He haunted you in your sleep, followed you in the shadows of every room, drew screams as he pleased even when he could no longer touch you. Safety was not a luxury you could afford – not after what he’d done to you.

Bucky was your only reprieve. A broken man who had found the pieces of himself again – who had offered pieces of himself to you to soothe the mess you’d become with gauze and tape. It was his arms you woke in when your throat was burning raw, his voice lulling you back to sleep, his hands that had taught you peace again.

Bucky saved what his man destroyed.

“P-please,” the Doctor begged, his trembling hands reaching out for the toe of your boot – like a peasant before a king. You flinched before he could touch you. His back pressed against the wall. There was nowhere else for him to go. You flexed the gun at the end of your grip.

“You ruined me,” you spat, barely able to taste the words as they left your tongue. They did not sound like your own. “You expect me to grant you mercy?”

It only made the man sob harder. He was struggling to breathe – hyperventilating between sobs as his hands curled tight against his chest. Pathetic. Weak. Certainly not the type of man who could orchestrate the kidnapping of an avenger without help. He was sick and twisted and evil down to his bones, but he was not the mastermind behind your abduction. He was the executioner.

“D-don’t kill me,” he whimpered, bowing his forehead to the ground. “Y-you’re an Avenger. You wouldn’t.”

You had every intent to put a bullet through this man’s chest the moment you laid eyes on him again. You’d expected to be afraid, to see the surgical mask over his mouth and the cold, dead look in his eyes. You’d expected him to lunge at you with the scalpel and add to the array of scars he’d drawn upon your body. You’d expected violence from the psychopath you knew him to be.

Instead – you found this trembling, frail man who could not manage the courage to meet your eye. It was only when you were chained and drugged that he felt powerful enough to torture an Avenger. You were disappointed.

“You’re not worth my soul.” Tears welled into your eyes as you stared down the monster who had taken residency within your nightmares. “I’m too good for revenge.”

“Well, I’m not,” Bucky’s voice growled from the edge of the room. He stalked across the floor of the basement, his boots stepping over the stain of dried blood you’d left behind months earlier. His expression was cold, unemotive. The plates of his left arm whirled as he clenched his fist. “Give me the gun.”

Bucky’s hand slid over yours, the gun falling slack in your hand. You parted your lips to tell him that justice was due, that there was still more at play than just the sick mind of the man crumbled at your feet. But the safety was already unlatched and Bucky unloaded the weapon into the Doctor. Blood trailed through the cracks in the floor until they touched your boots. The echo burned into your eardrums.

You gaped, stumbling a few steps back before Bucky could slide the gun back into the holster on your hip. He raised an eyebrow, concerned, but you couldn’t find any air inside your chest. Your gaze flickered back to the Doctor as his body slumped down the wall, sinking into the pool of his own blood. It would stain into the rock amongst your own.

Your stunned stare returned to Bucky as he gently reached a hand towards you. You slapped it away. “Why-- What did you—Why would you do that?”

Bucky stilled, his eyes narrowing. He retracted his hand, genuine confusion upon his features. “Are you serious?”

“We could have brought him in, Bucky!” You threw your arms in the air, pacing over the red stain at the center of the room. “We could have interrogated him! You saw him – he clearly isn’t working alone!”

“We don’t need him, Y/n, we can—”

“He’s a pawn! He deserves a hell of a lot worse than death but we needed him, Bucky!”

“No,” Bucky snapped. His face was growing red, his jaw clenching so tightly the muscle flexed beneath his stubble. “No — that monster should have been shot on sight! I don’t give a shit what he could have been useful for! He got what he deserved!”

“Dammit, Bucky! We’re right back where we started.” You pressed your hands to your eyes. Tears wiped at the edges of your palms – angry, frustrated tears. Helpless tears. A lump burned so terribly in your throat, you thought it might choke you.

“We’re not,” Bucky eased, trying to calm you though his own breathing was labored. “We killed the bastard who took you, Y/n. He’s dead now. He can’t hurt you again. It's a hell of a lot more than we had yesterday.”

“Not when the guy who’s making the calls is still out there!” you cried, shoving away his efforts to reach you, though he kept trying. “We were so close, Bucky! He would have talked!”

“You don’t know that! He could have been manipulating you!"

“He would have rolled over in a second!” you roared, fire and fury and agony coursing through your veins. “And you just—you threw that all away for—what? For revenge?!”

“For you!”

The moment the words left Bucky’s lips he held his breath. His boots carried him several steps back, putting space between you as if it might draw the words back from the air before they could touch you. The anger drained from your body, washing away in a matter of seconds. Bucky exhaled a tensed breath.

“I did it... for you,” Bucky repeated slowly, his voice dangerously quiet. “I couldn’t stand the idea of that monster living another second after what he did to you.”

You swallowed, though your throat was aired dry.

“I can hear you cry at night,” he confessed and your heart clenched. Slowly, Bucky lifted his gaze to you, blue eyes startling through the wash of tears. “I know what he did to you, Y/n. You don’t have to tell me, because I know. I know what it’s like to be stripped of your power, to be helpless. I know what that does to a person. You... You never should have had to know what that feels like, too. It would have lingered over your head, Y/n -- to have that monster in the compound with us. It would have driven you mad. So I did what I had to do. I won’t apologize for that.”

You stared at Bucky, lips parted. “Fury will be pissed.”

You didn’t know why you said that. Perhaps because you were too afraid of what Bucky was really saying – the meaning behind his actions. Why it tortured him to allow this man to live after what he did to you.

Bucky chuckled dryly. “Yeah, I suppose he will.”

Quietly, you inched closer to him, stepping over the wet bloods of crimson as it slithered along the floor. Your arms wrapped around his waist, your head pressing to his chest. Bucky stilled for a moment, surprised, before his arms folded around you. It was warm in his embrace, safe. You listened to the gentle thumping of his heart as a hand circled sweetly over your spine.

And then, so quietly you knew only his advanced hearing could pick up, you muttered, “thank you,” against his chest.

--

this is your reminder that on drabble night I'm barely reading this over after I write it instead of taking weeks to edit and draft and redraft lol so if there's mistakes or the quality is not on par, that is why

[obsessive-ego]

Talking in you sleep

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Reader says Beetlejuice's name 3 times in their sleep, but hes already in their home

Sfw

Idk been thinking about this for ages

Just a small fic

It was an accident

It was no secret to anyone that you talk in your sleep, not full sentences, just a word or two, nothing too abnormal, you didn't know about this little quirk of yours until a certain foul mouthed undead demon wormed his way into your life, he was the one who told you.

...

"Ya know you chatter on in your sleep?" He'd  chuckle as if he found something truly embarrassing to bug you about.

"How'd you know? Am I that loud you can hear me in the livingroom?"

"Nah, I watch you sleep" he said it so plainly as if it wasnt super creepy.

The ghoul eventually upped his late night habits from watching you sleep, to sleeping in the same bed as you, he did this so often you stopped setting up the couch for him and just accepted your fate to be spooned every night by a creepy old dead guy who you may or may not have a crush on

...

The nights you've babbled in your sleep always brought on annoying mornings of beetlejuice teasing you, probably lying through his teeth over how you moan his name in you sleep to get you worked up for his own amusement, unfortunately you couldnt prove you didnt since your dreams never really stuck with you long after waking.

Hell with your late night chatter you even manged to summon beej once in your sleep, a night he was spending over at the Deetz, you manged to say his name 3 times in a row, spoken, unbroken, in your sleep, and boy was your face red when you woke up and saw the bastard in question sitting inches from your face with the widest shit eating grin you've ever seen on his face, that was an instance you couldnt deny saying his name in your sleep and dreaming about him, you missed him, of course you think about the demon when you two are apart, even the few days he's with the Deetz and the maitlands.

Tonight wasnt one of those nights, beetlejuice has spent the entire day glued to your side, chatting your ear off about all the scares he and lydia pulled in your absence, his stories always made you smile, the way he practically glowed green with excitement as he retold his showmanship to you.

The night went on with bad jokes and fun stories as the demon filled you in on all the fun you missed while you were doing boring adult breather things and how the two of you should mess with some unlucky breathers so he could show you how amazing he truly was, as if you needed proof that the ghoul was a ham who loved to show off.

As the two of you sat on the couch laughing away, forgetting the movie that basically became White noise to your conversation, a yawn escapes your lips

"Getting tired babes? Am I really that boring" the ghoul teased pinching you cheek

You groan and pull away "well, yeah, unlike you mister freeloader, I worked all day" you shrug before letting out another yawn

"Freeloader? Oh sugar, your words hurt" the ghoul fakes hurt, giving you an over exaggerated gasped face, with his hands over where a person's heart would be "I thought we had the mutual understanding that I was your trophy husband"

You give the demon a soft laugh "you wish-"

"Every night baby~" he purrs pink stripes slowly appearing in his hair

You freeze, it wasnt uncommon for beetlejuice to openly flirt with you, but that doesnt mean it didnt make you freeze up everytime, you werent exactly the type people lined up to date, nor were you very popular growing up, so the sudden and intense attention the demon gave you always made your heart pound.

"Uh, um, I think I'm gonna head to bed" you stammer before getting up "night beej" you mumble before disappearing into your bedroom.

The demon stifles a laugh, god slash satan you were a delight to get worked up, not to mention easy. He loved it, his favourite little breather was always so hot when they were an embarrassed mess.

The ghoul decides to finish the movie the two of you had on in the background, before heading to bed with you, he didn't need to sleep, just enjoyed being snuggled up to that soft warm body of yours, and it was more rewarding to sneak in after you were out cold, bed would be already warm, and with the added thrill of not wanting to wake you.

As the credits roll beetlejuice snaps his fingers and tv goes dark, the ghoul raises from the couch and gives a yawn and a long stretch as if he was exhausted. The demon makes his way to your room, standing outside your door he pauses at the sound of your voice

"Beetlejuice"

It was soft, barely audible, but herd it, guess you were still up, beetlejuice phases through your bedroom door, to be greeted by your sleeping form.

He stifled a chuckle, you were dreaming of him, tomorrow was gonna be great, the ghoul was already busy thinking about ways to poke fun at this in the morning, moaning out his name in you sleep? What kind of dream were you having babes? He could see your face now.

"Beetlejuice" you mumble again in a whisper

"Whoa there babes, you know the rule, one more time and I'm out" he whispers making his way to your bed.

"Beetlejuice" you sigh

"Y/N!" was the the only thing he had time to shout before vanishing.

His shout was enough to make wake you, but not enough to clue you in to what you just did, you grumble out a swear before rolling over and going back to sleep.

The next morning you wake up, a tad confused to not have a snoring dead guy weighing you down, normally on nights beetlejuice would stay over he'd slip into bed with you after you've fallen asleep, using your chest as a pillow.

You dont think much of it at first, heading to the kitchen to make some coffee before getting dressed, you did notice there was no beej there either, waiting for you kettle to boil you give your little home a quick sweep for the demon, nothing.

He's vanished to do his own thing before, he was a grown man, sometimes he'd duck out and mess with the neighbors in your apartment complex, but he would at least leave you a note or something.

You started to worry, what if something awful happened to him? Then it clicked, lydia must had summoned him away to hang out, that had to be it, and with that thought all dread left you so you could carry on with your day, since bj wasnt around you took the opportunity to get a few odds and ends done.

The day drags on into the late evening, you were enjoying the peace as you catch up on some reading.

Your phone rings, looking at the screen you see its lydia, that's odd, she normally texts you if anything

"Hello?"

"Y/n I need to ask beetlejuice something"

"Isnt he with you?"

"What? No-"

Dread returns to you chest, you havent seen him since last night, he left no note, he wasnt with lydia, did something awful happen? was he bored with you? You felt like you were going to be sick

"Y/n?"

"I gotta go" was all you could say before hanging up,

"Beetlejuice!"

Nothing

"Beetlejuice!"

Again nothing, he normally came after the second yell, anxiety for your dear friend make you since to your stomach in fear for the worst, you steady yourself and take a deep breath and say it for a third time

"Beetlejuice"

With a puff of green smoke there stood the ghoul, unfortunately sporting a purple hue

"Bee-"

"It took you that long to notice I was gone?"

"No, I-"

"Why did it take so long then? Enjoying your time without me?!" Red streaks began to show up amongst the purple

"I thought lydia summoned you back-"

"And you waited till now to check?!"

"I DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER THE TWO OF YOU" you yelled back, beetlejuice is taken abck by your volume, you take a deep breath "if I knew why you were gone I would have said something sooner, what happened?" You say calmly gently taking the demon's hand, red now fading away, though the purple stayed

"You sent me away, you said my name 3 times in your sleep and sent me back to the netherworld" he refused to look at you as if you did this on purpose to mess with him.

"Bee, I'm sorry, I would have never done that on purpose, i- i love having you around, and I, god, i miss you when you're not here, with me" now it was your turn to refuse eye contact, admitting such a cheesy thing, you wanted to just die, not that it would help.

The purple hue is quick to leave the ghoul's form in replacement with a much softer pink, you missed him, music to his ears.

"Sugar" beetlejuice grabs your chin and forces eye contact

You give him a soft smile seeing that he was no longer purple, but also when he pulls you into a rather over exaggerated dip and sloppy kiss "so how bout we make up for some lost time and you can make this little misunderstanding up to me, what do you say babes?~"

You only stutter and choke on your words as the demon spins you around

"Would you like to scare some delivery guy and watch a bad slasher?" You finally get out

The demon pauses for a moment, as if to think about this offer.

"Normally I'd be delighted honey, but I think you owe me~ how bout you have to sit on my lap the entire film~" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you, you swallow the lump in your throat, this was gonna be a long night

Bonus

The two of you were snuggled together on the couch, Beetlejuice's arms were around your waist, his head on your shoulder, your bum on his lap.

"So babes, whatever you dreaming about last night?"

[books-and-dragons]

pegoryu (pre-established) post-interrogation hurt/comfort fic. has mentions of nightmares, trauma, and implied physical assault. unedited and for that i big apologise in advance

___________

okay!!! so this fic has been sitting in my drafts for months (lol what else is knew i know, shush i’m getting to the point) and i was supposed to post it on ao3 at the same time as i did a couple of others, however never got around to it bc it needed editing and im too lazy for that

likelihood is, i will edit and post to ao3 at some point, but it needs some BIG rennovations and i just can’t be arsed atm

so yeah, apologies for the shoddy writing in advance xoxo

but for now, i wanted to post it on here. today. as a sign of goodwill for the year to come. (ie. i own p5r, still havent played it, need to play it, and hope posting this will kick me into gear)

so, hope you enjoy!! and lmao if not it’ll just get buried as i start to revive this blog so,...win win?

In the first few nights since the interrogation, Ryuji stayed awake, listening to the fragile shudders of Akira’s breath in the night. So sensitive to every breath of air restricted by broken ribs, Ryuji hadn’t needed to look across the room, to gaze at the beaten figure on the bed, to know how his face was contorted in pain- unmasked in sleep.

He refused to so much as close his eyes until Akira’s breathing levelled out, still shuddering and restricted by pain, but deep enough to assure him that Akira was asleep. Only then, Ryuji allowed himself to rest.

Nobody else stayed the night. They lingered until the last train, crowded around the attic bedroom, gaze worriedly resting on Akira until the final second, where they’d leave with the accompanying chime of Leblanc’s door closing. But not Ryuji.

Ryuji, who had refused to leave Akira’s side since the moment he’d returned to their arms, beaten and drugged up, hardly coherent, but so relievingly and perfectly alive.

Akira hadn’t been alone since, Ryuji ensured that much. Torn over so much as going across the road for a bath, he couldn’t leave the other boy alone- something pulled at him to never let that happen, a pit of fear in the bottom of his stomach that pulled at his every nerve.

Maybe it had something to do with the nightmares, the visions of Akira lying broken on cold tile, at the mercilessly unrelenting hands of the police, the images of Akira lying dead, blood pooling from his head, the way the images seemed to haunt him even when awake- but there was no point reading into it. It wasn’t important, especially not now.

What mattered was that when he woke up, breath haggard and skin shining with sweat under the light of outdoor streetlamps, Akira never woke. Wasn’t even perturbed. 

Ryuji tried to be thankful for it, tried not to think about why Akira was suddenly such a deep sleeper. Ignored the puncture wounds on his neck, the bottle of painkillers by his bedside. Akira was resting, and that was enough.

Even if it didn’t make sense that, when morning rose, the dark circles under Akira’s eyes had grown. That he tried to muffle pained yawns behind bandaged hands, and begged for more coffee- even though Takemi had put him on a temporary ban.

Because Ryuji had seen him sleeping, watched the rise and fall of his chest as Ryuji reminded himself that Akira was alive and safe, it was the sight that lulled him back to sleep from a nightmare. So why did Akira always look so tired?

He tried not to let his growing concern show, there was already so much to be worried about, he didn’t want to add another. Especially not when it could be nothing but his own annoying thoughts.

It wasn’t until the next night, after a particularly painful and thorough visit from Takemi earlier that day, that Ryuji started to reconsider.

Blearily opening his eyes to the dark lighting of the attic, Ryuji didn’t need a clock to know it was well into the middle of the night, and that he’d been woken up from his sleep, again.

But it was weird. There was none of the usual constricting fear, the blind panic- he’d hardly even started seeing the figure of a beaten Akira surrounded by shadow, let alone begun imagining the worst. 

About to blame it on the lumpy and painful springs of the couch and try to fall back asleep, Ryuji caught it. Quiet, as if muffled by something, but just loud enough to penetrate through the silence in the attic and reach Ryuji: crying.

No. Not crying.

Sobbing.

Ice burning in his stomach, he carefully lifted the blanket and rose, wary of creaking springs and the sound of rustling fabric, towards the shaking figure on the bed.

His voice was barely above a whisper, carrying clearly and softly through the silence as he carefully extended an arm, not touching, only hovering, “Akira?”

The responding flinch broke Ryuji’s heart all the more, as a head rose from under the covers, bloodshot eyes wide and darting around the room in panic, hair wildly askew. 

Moving as slowly as he dared, Ryuji sat at the side of the bed, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s only me.”

As the mattress shifted under him, Akira froze. Muscles tight and unyielding, back as ramrod straight as his broken ribs would allow, the entire body braced for something Ryuji didn’t even want to think about. His gaze was distant, somewhere far away from Leblanc, from the blond sat right beside him.

It reminded Ryuji of his Ma, in the months after the divorce. Curled up together on the dingy bed, they’d cling to each other so tight even in sleep, waking up in the morning sweaty and sometimes a little uncomfortable, never minding because they woke feeling completely safe. But there were the nights when his Ma’s screams would wake him in the early hours, recoiling and shaking even in her sleep. Ryuji would sit upright and watch over her until sunrise, would try to pull her from the memories he knew haunted her. Haunted them both.

Looking at Akira, the striking familiarity of the situation made him want to hurl.

He didn’t move, no matter how strong the urge was to reach out and console his hurting best friend. Instead, he kept his voice quiet, just audible above the laboured sobs, and waited.

“You’re okay, Akira. You’re safe, I’m not goin’ anywhere, alright? You’ve got me, it’s okay-”

Slowly, the frantic scanning of the room stopped. Staring at the artificial yellow light that bathed Leblanc’s street, following it into the shadows of the attic, where dark figures seemed to fade away. The flash of blond in his vision, perfectly still, aside from the hushed mutterings leaving chapped lips.

Akira focused on that sound. It felt safe.

As Ryuji uttered soft words of reassurance, he watched the tension slowly leave Akira’s body. Shoulders slightly slouched, jaw unclenched, his lip was bleeding- but he could worry about that later. All that mattered was the softening of Akira’s lines, as he slowly came back to Ryuji.

Delicately as he dared, he reached out. Hand brushing against bruised skin, careful not to as much as press on the marred areas. For a moment, there was no response. He waited, watching the panic continue to leave until, slightly trembling, Akira’s hand interlaced with his own.

“Ryuji?” The hazed look in his eyes was clearing, staring at Ryuji with a newly discovered relief, which was quickly overtaken by shame, “Shit- I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, just go back to sleep I’m fine-”

“Hey no, no man it’s okay, really-” Feeling Akira begin to pull away, Ryuji let his thumb run over the back of his hand, determinedly meeting Akira’s gaze, “I don’t mind.”

Akira opened his mouth, ready to retort and insist, but found himself silenced by the look in the other boy’s eyes. Ryuji’s hand was warm, and for a moment Akira forgot there were even any injuries there at all, thumb tracing over them with such a delicate touch he hadn’t known the blond to have possessed.

Staring into Ryuji’s eyes, he wondered at how they were always so open and unguarded, never with anything to hide- a true reflection of his best friend, passionate and honest to a fault. It was something Akira had often envied, that ability to always be his true self, to freely display his emotions. 

He almost took that back now, staring back into deep brown eyes. Eyes which so clearly reflected hurt and worry.

The raw concern so honestly displayed to him that, just in this moment, Akira decided he would allow himself to be vulnerable. Just this one time. Knowing that, as they had done for each other so many times before, Ryuji would never judge.

Hesitantly, Akira pulled his hand out of Ryuji’s and, ignoring the concerned look he got in return, allowed his hand to trace higher, around his forearm, pulling him closer with a silent plea.

As always, Ryuji understood.

Carefully reaching out, Ryuji wrapped his arms around Akira, pulling him to his chest. His touch is firm, but cautious of the bruising and bandages decorating Akira’s abdomen. Even then, careful as he was, the occasional shift sent twinges of pain up Akira’s spine. And yet, he found he didn’t mind- not when he was so surrounded by warmth and comfort and the steady beat of Ryuji’s heart just audible through his chest, that for a minute Akira feels like he can just forget-

Somehow, Ryuji shifts so they’re leaning against the back wall, Akira’s head resting high on Ryuji’s chest, ear pressed to his left side. Logically, Ryuji supposed now would be a good time to ask about what just happened, about the dark circles under Akira’s eyes and the fear still lingering when he caught sight of shadows in the room- but there would be other opportunities. When Akira wasn’t so damn exhausted and clinging to Ryuji like he’s the final lifeline holding Akira together. When neither of them would be waking up in the middle of the night, a frenzied mess, and worrying about suspicious strangers in public and carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Yeah, there would be other times to talk. But for now, Ryuji would stay with Akira and listen as his breathing mellowed out into deep breaths, as his grip on the blond weakened and he cuddled closer still, lost to the throes of sleep.

Ryuji will stay with him until the sun rises.

Neither of them were plagued by nightmares for the rest of the night.

[xenteaart]

Shall We? (Part 2)

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x fem!Reader

Request: Can I request part two for Shall We? Pleeeeaase 🙏!! You can’t just leave it like that.

Word count: 1,7k

Warnings: kind of a fight scene?? and like one swear word idk

Note: Sooo here’s part two of this fic, give it a read if you havent coz otherwise this one is not going to make much sense haha

For the sake of the story, Five disappeared when he was 18 (instead of 13) and got stuck in his 18 year-old-body after coming back accordingly. Also I’ve decided to give the reader and the Handler kind of a Lila x the Handler dynamic

The events are taking place in s1, some details of the canon are obvsly altered.

ALSO THERE’S A LIL EASTER EGG AT THE END MWEHEHE

Hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @stitched-mouth​ @startrekkingaroundasgard​

“You do know you can’t win. I really don’t wanna hurt you, Y/N,” he uttered, raising his hands a little as a way to warn you not to come any closer for your own good.

Even though it was supposed to be a sweet gesture of concern, hearing him confirm that he still thought you were no match for him cut you to your very core.

“Oh, yeah? Well, I’m afraid you might have to. Shall we?” you sneered and threw your leg into the air, hitting Five right under his kneecap and making him collapse on the ground with a surprised gasp.

Five truly had zero intention of hurting you, but your determination to have a fight left him no choice, and even his clear advantage of having loads more experience and superpowers on top did not seem to make you hesitate.

“Come on, don’t be stupid, Y/N,” Five commented as he got back on his feet and took a few steps away from you, still giving you a chance to back off before he had to inflict any pain on your person, but all it achieved was winding you up even more.

The problem was - you two underwent identical training at the Commission as the Handler gave both of you her very best mentor, and right now you were basically mirroring each other’s moves, except Five was also using his spatial jumps to disorient you. He was still going easy on you, mostly just blocking your punches and jumping further away so you had to chase him all over the Academy while he was hoping you would simply exhaust yourself before any real damage would be done. Quite frankly, it was a smart decision on his part and a rather thoughtful one as well because, despite all appearances, he actually cared about you an awful lot.

As the both of you gracefully danced all the way to the second floor, you were already out of breath from the endless running around which meant Five’s plan was beginning to work. However, you realized what he was doing soon enough to indulge him into the feeling of being right and played his little game for a while, waiting for the perfect moment when he’d get distracted, and as the moment came you had to act fast.

You threw yourself forwards and promptly wrapped your arms around Five’s waist, knocking him off his feet and pressing your body against his as you pinned him to the floor. He groaned with annoyance and winced at the pain as his back hit the hard wooden surface. The next few seconds sort of happened in slow-mo for both of you as he roughly pushed you off himself and somehow managed to switch places with you, now looming over your body and warningly putting his knee on your solar plexus, threatening to crush your ribcage if you moved.

A mutual silence fell between you as you were processing the last 30 minutes of your lives, both visibly struggling to believe that each of you somehow ended up fighting the person they would never wish to hurt in their entire life. The sounds of your heavy breathing were filling the room as you were merely staring at each other in utter confusion. The weight of Five’s knee on your diaphragm was beginning to give you trouble breathing, and your breaths became shallow and hoarse which finally snapped him out of his trance.

“Gonna tell me what the hell is up now, Y/N?” he asked in his teacher-y manner that you used to absolutely hate and adore all at once, especially when he used to give you lectures on your occasional fuck-ups - whether it was failing a class because you were too lazy to turn in your assigments in time or something a little more serious, like getting into an argument with the Monocle and consequently making life harder for both of you.

You would always roll your eyes and smirk when he would get into his i-am-disappointed-in-you-but-i-still-love-you character and cross his arms on his chest for dramatic effect.

“You were the one telling me to piss off in the first place, remember,” you narrowed your eyes as you were subtly gasping for air underneath Five’s weight. He pursed his lips and looked away, contemplating whether or not to be completely honest. Evidently, his lack of sincerity got him nowhere the last time around, so he sighed loudly; his shoulders dropping and his expression finally revealing all of the exhaustion and regret that he was concealing quite successfully up until now.

“I only pushed you away to protect you.”

“Sounds like bullshit to me,” you replied, clearly unimpressed and palpably suspicious; two years of being brainwashed by the Handler now taking their toll on your perspective.

“God, don’t be so slow,” Five uttered clearly irritated but then quickly realized his offensive implication and added, “Said with respect.”

You stayed silent, raising your brow as a way of telling him to continue.

“I couldn’t risk you becoming a casualty because being involved in my family’s mess as a non-super is dangerous. As in, you’re going to be a target all the time, and I couldn’t and still can’t afford to waste my time worrying about your safety. As much as I’d love to - it’s simply not the luxury I have. I’ve got to stop the end of the world, otherwise everyone is going to be dead in four days, don’t you get it?” Five asked, a waterfall of emotions pushing at the inner sides of his chest, waiting to be set loose and consume everything on its way.

You were quietly listening to his explanation and taking it all in whilst still trying to fight off the suspicion and disbelief that were nagging at your every cell.

“I wanted to keep you safe because I couldn’t bear to lose you again,” his voice trembled a little as the memories of his post-apocalypse life washed over his mind, “The last 45 years have been a fucking nightmare.”

“I’d find it way more believable if you stopped crushing my ribs for starters,” you muttered through clenched teeth and immediately felt the pressure taken off your chest, precious and very much needed oxygen starting to flow through your system the way it should again.

Five got up and offered his hand to help you on your feet as a gesture to show you that he didn’t see you as an enemy and placed trust in you. You took his hand and steadied yourself awkwardly, still slightly disoriented and light-headed.

“I don’t know what the Handler told you but I do know she’s exceptional at manipulating,” Five added as he looked you right in the eye, “Christ, and you’re so naive, always have been. Most days it’s truly adorable but sometimes, Y/N, it really doesn’t work in your favor,” as the words escaped his lips, his gaze became noticeably softer; his expression blossoming with tenderness towards you.

“Prove it. Prove that you care.”

Five chuckled and shook his head, simultaneously annoyed and amused at your stubbornness. The atmosphere between you was shifting and you couldn’t help but notice the familiar overwhelming feeling of comfort and peace enveloping your person from head to toe. You’ve forgotten what it felt like being around Five, and now you were finally getting to remember. At home.

He slipped his hand into the pocket of his uniform shorts and pulled out a grape-sized plastic figure of a golden retriever.

“You gave me this a few days before I jumped and got stuck in the future. I carried it with me all the way. This silly trinket was the only thing I had left of you, the only thing that reminded me you were still out there waiting for me. Kept me going,” he shrugged casually as if it wasn’t important at all which it absolutely was.

“Five, c’mere! Look what I found!” you called for him as you were sitting on the floor surrounded by all sorts of useless crap. You were in the middle of decluttering your bedroom when a little figure of a dog caught your eye, it was the breed that Five was especially fond of and you knew he secretly dreamed of getting a puppy of his own as soon as he was out of the house.

“What’s that?” he asked, unimpressed.

“It’s a doggie! He wants to be your friend,” you replied, playing with your accent a little, rolling you “r”s and shifting the flow of your words to sound more Scottish or ... Russian. God knows where you were going with it but you tended to butcher your accent for fun quite a lot.

“Y/N, are you twelve?”

“His name is Mr.Pennycrumb and he’s gonna look after you whenever I’m not around,” you said with utmost confidence and gave him a wide smile, putting the trinket into Five’s pocket, clearly very proud of yourself and still committed to your silly accent performance, “Treat him well.”

Five scoffed and shrugged.

“Whatever.”

“So did he?” you asked, staring at the goddamn toy as tears were slowly welling up in your eyes.

“What?”

“Did he do a good job looking after you while I wasn’t around?” your gaze finally met Five’s as the realization in his own eyes was starting to sink in. A pained smile touched the corners of his mouth, and you could see Five genuinely struggle to maintain his tough facade.

“Yeah. He did.”

Without saying a word, you stepped closer and rested your cheek on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him, this time with no hostility or murderous intention. If you had to be perfectly honest with yourself, you’d admit you could never find it in you to actually hurt Five, let alone killing him. Both of you knew that way too well.

He returned the hug and pulled you closer, burying his nose in your hair and then planting a quick innocent kiss on the top of your head. Feeling the warmth radiating from you was enough to make him relax further into your embrace, his eyes now closed shut and his breathing steady and deep.

It didn’t last for as long as you’d like, though, a big loud bang from downstairs making you both flinch and pull away from each other, breaking your fragile bubble of comfort and calm in an instant.

“Shit, Hazel and Cha-Cha,” Five whispered, concern and worry crawling back onto his features. He briefly looked at you, and you simply nodded, non-verbally confirming that you were willing to help and were no longer part of the Handler’s plan.

The two of you were going to talk all about that later. His years alone, his and your own involvement with the Commission, the end of the world and loads more.

Of course, right in this moment neither of you could possibly know that your friendship was, in fact, a gateway into a lifelong partnership but you were bound to find out eventually. And the journey you two were about to begin as soon as the apocalypse was dealt with and gone was going to be magnificent.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

hello hi! if ur ever looking for ideas/prompts for spidey stuff i have an idea i've wanted to see but havent really yet: i have a sensory processing disorder so i personally always really connect w spidey when fics talk about him kind of having sensory issues, but they almost always only talk about getting too much sensory input. which is super valid! but a lot of people also have issues w not enough sensory input (i have issues w both! its gotta be a balance). (pt. 1 bc i talk to much)

(pt. 2 bc i talk too much) not having enough sensory input still needs grounding techniques and stuff! i know for me i'll start kind of pulling my hair, scratching too violently, etc. and then my service pup will lick my face to replace harmful sensory cravings with safe ones! i just feel like this might be interesting to see w peter and the avengers trying to give him safer/better sensory input bc it might be cute. totally no pressure though! just thought i'd yell this idea into the void

Oh god never apologize for talking too much! I love this idea, thanks so much for the request. Funny story, as I was reading I was just like...wait not everyone does this??? So...thanks for helping me realize things!

Just Right

Read it on Ao3

Warnings: descriptions of a meltdown, sensory deprivation (kinda), some self-injury

Pairings: none. found family is my shit

Word count: 2667

If you could see Peter’s lab in Stark Tower or the Avengers Compound, you’d wonder if it’s some mad-scientist abomination or a storage room gone crazy.

There are screens upon screens upon screens, little things scattered across almost every available surface, and even ones that aren’t technically available. There are haphazardly balanced books and sheets of metal and overflowing trash cans and more random trinkets scattered around than you can think of. And yet, Peter knows precisely where everything is.

Organized chaos. Entropy. There’s some scientific explanation for it.

Peter works in a state of 'a lot.' There's a reason for that, and a reason it's a bad idea for him to not have that.

If you could see Peter’s lab in Stark Tower or the Avengers Compound, you’d wonder if it’s some mad-scientist abomination or a storage room gone crazy.

There are screens upon screens upon screens, little things scattered across almost every available surface, and even ones that aren’t technically available. There are haphazardly balanced books and sheets of metal and overflowing trash cans and more random trinkets scattered around than you can think of. And yet, Peter knows precisely where everything is.

Organized chaos. Entropy. There’s some scientific explanation for it.

Even Tony, the resident doer-of-so-many-things, is baffled when he walks in to see Peter looking at three separate screens, two sets of earbuds—one in each ear—texting as he calls out things for FRIDAY or KAREN or EDITH to help him with. Sometimes he’s talking to all three at once and texting.

“Kid,” Tony says, coming up behind him and resting a hand on his shoulder, “you know you gotta pay attention to the stuff you’re doing, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m doing things!”

Cue an impressive rant that even Tony struggles to keep up with in places, all the while Peter’s fingers fly over his keyboard and beat out rhythms on his crossed legs. He looks up at Tony with a bright smile and sometimes, sometimes Tony wonders what goes on in that head of his.

Because if he’s only seeing the little bits that manage to make their way out of the kid’s mouth…god.

Can you blame him for giving Peter a technological playground? Kid lights up better than an arc reactor.

Tony just shakes his head and says: “Kids these days.”

It’s not an uncommon sight to see Peter doing his work with screens scrolling and music blasting over his earbuds. It drives Steve nuts, his mother-hen instincts trying to make sure Peter’s paying enough attention that he won’t hurt himself.

“I know, I know, Pete,” he laughs when Peter glares at him, “I know you can do it, and I trust you, I’m just…”

Peter softens the smallest bit, dropping his project to scurry over and hug Steve. “I know. You worry.”

Steve smirks, running his hand through Peter’s hair. “Gotta make sure you’re in good enough shape for our walk this weekend.”

“Are we gonna do just the anti-homeless benches or are we doing the ramp bars too?”

“We’ll see how fast we can run, hmm?”

“May wants pictures too.”

“Ah yes, for the Baby’s First Act of Civil Disobedience book.”

“Steve!”

“Nope, that’s what she called it. She sent me a photo.”

Peter’s fine. And Steve told the truth, he does trust Peter. They all do. Kind of a side effect of the whole superhero gig, you learn to trust your people.

Doesn’t necessarily mean you understand them.

It’s been a long day. They’ve had to do some interview with this-or-that news station about their stances on some issue that is ‘complicated on both sides.’ Long enough that even Steve’s—frankly impressive—public service mask is slipping. Natasha gave up trying to masquerade as someone who cared ages ago, glaring daggers at anyone who so much as suggested something unreasonable. Tony shoos the last of the day’s worries out the door as Clint flops down on the sofa.

“Why,” he groans, “did we have to do that?”

“We’re role models,” Steve recites, even as the slump of his shoulders says ‘no’ in every possible way, “it’s our duty.”

“Yeah well, I never signed up to be a fucking role model.”

“Clearly.”

“If you dare tell me off for cursing I swear—“

Bucky just smacks Steve upside the head before he can say anything.

“Ow!”

“Don’t, Stevie,” Bucky warns, “just don’t.”

“Peter?”

Everyone turns around to look at Sam, crouched in front of Peter. He’s hunched over, almost curled up completely in his chair. His curls bounce back and forth, small muttering sounds coming from under them.

“Peter,” Sam calls again, “Peter, can you look at me?”

Peter’s head raises slowly and Sam’s glad for the training he’s had that keeps him from reacting visually. Peter’s face is a mess, thin red lines, and tense muscles everywhere.

“Hey, Pete,” he says softly, “you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Peter shuffles. “Need something.”

“Okay. You hungry?”

“No. Need something.” He starts beating out a frantic rhythm on his legs, hard enough to make Sam wince. “Something, I gotta—“

“Where are your earbuds, Peter?”

“Counter.”

Tony tosses them their way without even hesitating. Sam hands them to Peter and almost immediately his hands fly to plug them in, jam the buds into his ears. The room waits, no one willing to move until Peter takes a deep breath and his shoulders slump. After a few seconds, he starts tapping his fingers again, this time much less frenzied. Judging by the pattern, it’s probably to the beat of the song.

“…sorry,” he mutters after a few moments, “sorry ‘bout that.”

“Don’t apologize,” Sam says, “you didn’t do anything wrong. You wanna talk about it?”

“Uh…not really, not right now.”

“Okay. Is that a ‘you don’t wanna talk about it at all’ or a ‘you wanna talk about it later?’ Either is fine,” Sam says quickly when Peter shifts nervously, “I just wanna understand a little bit more so we can help.”

“M-maybe later.”

“Sounds good.” Sam stands up. “You want us to leave you alone or are you fine if we hang out?”

“Stay,” Peter says, “please.”

“Sure thing, kid.” Sam makes his way over to the others, shaking his head when a couple of them shoot him curious looks. He glances back over at Peter to see him doing some motion that involves all four of his limbs. It’s…oddly mesmerizing, actually.

“I think he’s doing a music exercise,” Natasha murmurs, “eighth-notes, quarter-notes, half-notes, whole notes.”

Bruce stares at her. “He’s doing what?”

Natasha eases her way onto a stool, her left hand tapping along with Peter’s left. “This hand,” she says, still staring, “taps out every quarter note. One, two, three, four.”

“The right hand,” she says, tapping twice as fast with her right, “does the eighth notes. One-and-two-and-three-and-four-and.”

“Then the feet do…one…three…one…three.” She starts gently tapping her feet in time with Peter’s. “And one…one…one…one…”

Steve just shakes his head slowly. “That’s…complicated.”

“It’s a good way to immerse yourself in music,” Natasha murmurs, smiling slightly, “helped me too.”

“What’s it for?”

“I think our Baby Spider is trying to ground himself.” Natasha gives Peter a smile when he catches her doing the same motions. “And it’s fun.”

His other hand never missing a beat, Peter plucks out one of his earbuds and holds it out to Natasha. She smiles and joins him, sitting by his side and carefully inserting the bud.

“Ooh,” she says softly when she figures out what song it is, “nice choice.”

“Thanks.”

They sit like that as the others bustle around quietly, getting all the interview stuff tucked away and Steve starts the cooking for tonight. He shoos Tony out with a spatula as the genius pouts, quickly picking some innocuous bickering fight that makes Bruce roll his eyes and take the book Thor offers him. Bucky and Sam crash onto a nearby couch, Bucky half-heartedly trying to copy Peter and Natasha for a few moments before laughing and giving up. The dinner passes in relative quiet until Peter sighs and plucks out his earbuds, collapsing onto Natasha’s shoulder.

Natasha barely flinches, reaching up to ruffle Peter’s hair. “Hey there, Baby Spider. You okay?”

“Yeah,” Peter sighs, “sorry.”

“Told you,” Sam says easily, “you got nothing to apologize for.”

“No, I…I should’ve told you.”

“Peter,” Steve chides gently, “you’re allowed to not tell us things if you don’t want to.”

“But it’s also important that I tell you things,” Peter says stubbornly. “It’s not fair to you guys if I don’t tell you what bothers me and then you can’t do anything about it or it takes you by surprise.”

“That’s fair, Peter.” Natasha leans her head onto his. “Do you have something you want to tell us, then?”

“Yeah, I, uh…” Peter twists his fingers together, his teeth worrying his bottom lip. “Actually, uh, do you mind if I…have my earbuds in while I tell you? I’ll—I’ll play it on low volume, I’ll still be able to hear you, I just—“

“Shh,” Natasha hushes, “you don’t need to justify your needs. Go ahead.”

“…thanks.” A few seconds later and Peter visibly relaxes, running his hands through his hair as he sits up. “So, I, uh, I have a sensory processing disorder.”

Most of them nod. He’s not the only one. Bucky and Bruce in particular make some gesture of solidarity.

“But I, um…mine’s weird.”

“Weird how,” Sam asks.

“Uh, you know how most people get overwhelmed from too much sensory input?” When he gets an answering nod, Peter takes a deep breath. “I have, uh, I have the opposite.”

“…yours is triggered by having too little sensory input?”

“Yeah. That’s why I have…all the screens going all the time.”

Tony huffs. “Little bit of an understatement.”

“I-it’s easier for me to think!”

“It’s okay, Pete, I don’t mean anything by it,” Tony says instantly, raising his hands in surrender, “just wanna make sure this old man can still keep up with you, that’s all.”

“He admitted he’s old!” Clint throws his hands up in triumph. “All hail Peter Parker, the One Who Got Tony Stark To Admit He’s Old.”

“Alright, alright,” Thor says when it looks like Tony’s going to throw Steve’s salad across the table at Clint, “that’s enough. Peter,” he says, turning back, “how do we help?”

“H-help?”

“Surely it can’t come as a surprise that we wish to help you,” Thor chuckles, “now come on, out with it.”

“Uh…you did good today,” Peter mumbles, “getting me my earbuds and stuff.”

“Is that what we should do, then?”

“Yeah. Just, um, get me stuff that’ll occupy my sense. Optimal levels of arousal and all that.”

“Does that include physical contact,” Steve asks, “or no?”

“…sometimes? I gotta ask for that though.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Steve smiles and reaches out to squeeze Peter’s hand. “Thank you for telling us. I’m proud of you.”

“Ah, jeez,” Peter mumbles, his cheeks flushing, “do you have to say it like that?”

“Like what,” Steve asks like he obviously doesn’t know.

“Like—like that.”

“Steve, you’re such an asshole.”

“I agree with Bucky.”

“Both of you hush or there’ll be no dessert.”

The cry of protest that goes up around the table is enough to make Steve almost fall out of his chair from laughing too hard.

It’s pretty easy after that. They all keep an eye on Peter during functions where they’ve gotta sit still for long periods of time. Often they’ll hide Peter in the back and one of them will reach down, let Peter play with their hands, or sneak some new piece of tech in for him to tinker with. They always keep his earbuds close by and there’s never a problem if Peter needs his earbuds in while he’s at dinner with them or watching a movie.

Then May texts Tony one day when Peter’s scheduled to come over.

May: Peter’s earbuds broke.

Immediately, Tony sends it out to the others. They’re all on high alert, scouring the floors for where they may have been left, if they’ve got extras Peter can borrow, just for a little, come on Tony, you run a tech empire, what do you mean you don’t have headphones?

They’re all so busy looking that they completely miss Peter’s arrival.

Peter’s been floating ever since he got on the bus. Everything feels like it’s happening behind a whine of static. He’s floating in this weird bubble of a fish tank and he can tell there are things beating on the glass outside but he can’t do anything about them. He’s floating and he hates floating. He can’t feel anything. Can’t feel anything.

Something, something, he needs something.

Does he still have a body? Does it still feel? He doesn’t know as he stumbles down hallways and through doors. The walls don’t feel like anything. His hair catches on a catch and it feels. It sends a zing down his spine and he can feel. So he does it again. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel.

His nail catches on his cheek as he raises his other hand to his hair and there’s a bright flash that shudders his body. It’s warm. He likes warm. He likes to feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel.

He can’t feel his arms. So he moves to his arms. The flare spreads. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel.

Where else can he feel?

He should be able to feel everywhere, shouldn’t he?

Feel.

Feel.

Feel.

Feel.

He can’t feel his hands but he can tell his hands are making him feel.

It’s stopped being a word now.

Something tangles in his hand, at least he thinks it does. Something tangles in his other hand. They squeeze. Oh. Oh, he can feel that. He can feel his hands. He can feel…he can feel a lot.

He hears the gentle whine of metal against metal, feels the hardness of a claw in each of his hands. He blinks and looks up.

DUM-E and U are holding his hands, squeezing them gently the way he does to them. When he murmurs their names, DUM-E lets his hand go, leaning down to start stroking his forehead with his claw. Peter watches, trace the parts of DUM-E’s machinery, mapping it out in his head, grounding himself in the expansions of wires.

It’s better now, it is. U still sits there, patiently squeezing his hand, even as DUM-E whistles and chirps. Peter starts mumbling back that he’s fine, thank you, he’s okay now, can DUM-E move a little to the left, please?

“Peter?”

“Uh, h-hi, Fri,” Peter mumbles, “I, uh, guess you should tell them I’m here.”

“They’re on their way, Peter.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

Steve will stumble in first, Natasha hot on his heels. Steve won’t be able to hide his shock at seeing the red lines drawn harshly on Peter’s skin, even as he tries to smile and call out for him. Natasha will look him over and softly ask permission to patch him up a little.

Tony will praise the bots as Sam and Bucky rope Peter into some inane fight that pulls him out of his head. Bruce and Clint will offer him their earbuds as they’re the only two who’ve managed to find some. Thor will offer to carry Peter for a little while.

But for now, Peter will sit here, on the floor of the lab, while the bots kiss his face, and feel.

It’s just right.

[jesepii]

Dirty Imbecile/hero's shadow Analysis

ok so I've loved this particular song for a while: Dirty Imbecile by The Happy Fits, and there's this fanfic I've read recently called hero's shadow by @feelingstqbby and if yOU HAVENT READ IT YET WHAT R YOY DOING but anyways I realized the lyrics kinda fit with Izuku in the fic. So I'll be doing a lil song analysis; haven't done this before, might get long, but here we go:

'If I'm so smart and I'm so pretty

Damn this town and damn this city

You never give me anything that I want'

The first and second lines could be a reference to Izuku's identity as Rabbit. The first line reminded me a bit of Izuku's sense of humor and the way that he talks as Rabbit. The third could do with his homelessness or "you" could refer to All for One and how Izuku keeps himself from doing/having things and relationships out of fear of his past catching up to him.

'No one seems to really care

They're just wholly unaware

Of all the blood and sweat I cry before dawn'

In this part, the first line could be Izuku's inability to really understand why anyone would genuinely want to take care of him, especially adults. And the second and third lines fit well with the fact that so few people actually know about his whole situation with the League and the sickness, so he's just suffering in silence.

'But you won't understand

All the things that I am

Cause' I'm crazy in just too many ways'

I think this whole part could do with Izuku's turmoil of telling any adults about his affiliation with the League, because of the consequences that could come out of it. And IDK the third line just kind of relates to how batshit crazy his life is.

'But I get that little feel

When my heart starts beating, lungs stop breathing

All my fibers say to run away'

This piece could very well describe the adrenaline Izuku probably felt when he GTFO of the League hideout after burning it down.

'Count my little scars, I've got dozens down inside'

This is one of my favorite lines in the song, and I think it fits Izuku really well. People like All Might and Aizawa see his physical scars, but they haven't the slightest idea of the internal scars/trauma Izuku carried from his past with AfO.

'I am complete and invincible, behind my dirty imbecile

All the the things I've tried, boy: be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young

So don't tell me what to fear in the darkness of this atmosphere'

These lines kind of revolve around the identity of Rabbit. The first line could be how Izuku feels strong and confident behind the mask and pretends everything is fine; the second would be the identities/personas he's made up, but he can't find one to feel properly safe in. And finally the third line is Izuku being truly aware of how terrible people/humanity can be what with the League and criminal underground, and due to his past experiences, he knows what (who) to really be afraid of in the "dark".

'Love my mum and love my daddy

Sure they messed me up but that is

Voices that they left inside of my head'

This is another one of my favorite lines of the song. It's kind of obvious it's referencing Izuku and his relationship with his parents; what with Inko leaving to go get that milk and peacing out and Hisashi busy being the CEO of Evil. The last line then could show the trauma/flashbacks Izuku was left in the dust with.

'Am I good? Is all I could

Enough for you?'

This is a line I really love too, because it could be like a parallel of Izuku speaking to All for One and All Might. I can just imagine a much younger Izuku saying these lines to AfO, and then fast forward to him saying this to All Might, just wanting to give it his all to be a good successor.

Finally that sort of scream/howl at the end of the song maybe represents how much Izuku is holding inside and just wants to let it all come bursting out, damn the consequences.

wow that took a while but the whole analysis thing was kinda fun; i can see why deku has like 15 notebooks full of this kinda shit. anyways once again go read hero's shadow if you haven't already, and if you did, go read it again.

[daddychims]

The Muse

Genre: Smut, PWP, Author AU

Pairings: Fuckboy!Tae X Author! Reader X Colleague! Jungkook

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You find yourself in a dead end , contemplating if you should just quit your job as an author in a big publishing company when your boss demands you to add more “Edge” to your writing. But your best friend is quick to give you a hand out of your misery, suggesting he could be your “Muse” for the night to help you in desperate times.

Word Count : 30K

Warning:

Smut, Dom!tae , Fuckboy!tae , implied DDLG , Cum play , Throat fucking, Gagging , a bit of Breath play, Choking Kink, Thigh riding, rough sex, Unprotected sex, Spanking, daddy kink, alcohol use, swearing, PWP, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Pure filth basically! Read at your own risk!

Author’s Note: If you think this fic is familiar is because I posted this a long time ago. While I was polishing my masterlist I accidentally deleted all chapters. I was devastated but I figured I’d just edit it and repost it as a one shot. If you’ve already read this and enjoyed it please reblog and like! If you havent, well enjoy 30K of pure filth, you’re welcome! 

Inspired by It Aint My Fault by Zara Larson

You knock the black file on the table, the sight of it makes your stomach turn at the memories associated with it. You spare a glance at the guy flipping his purple hair away from his face, totally ignoring the masses of people behind the bar waiting to be served with their cash in hand.

“You alright Babe?” He asks in pure concern and you nod settling on the chair that is too high for your height.

“Can I have something strong, anything will do!” you breathe out with an exhausted tone and he quickly turns around and reaches for one of the higher shelves, pushing a couple of bottles to grab the hidden bottle before coming back to where you’re sitting

“Is it that asshole again?” he asks as he grabs a big piece of ice and starts shaving it skilfully into an Iceball before placing it in a glass and filling it with some of the magical drink.

“This is why you shouldn’t get married, Jimin.” You say as you take a sip and wince at the stinging burn rushing down your throat while the guy standing in front of you waits patiently for more elaboration on your bizarre statement “Because then when your marriage is fucked up your employees will have to pay for it”

He laughs as he quickly fills the top of your glass with the bottle in his hand “Maybe you should just fuck him and relieve some of the stress his wife gives him.” he suggests and receives a glare from you as your indulge yourself back on the hard liquor

“Fuck who? me?”  The deep voice echoes in your ear and you sigh, already annoyed at the guy who’s done nothing but is settling beside you.

“Jung is giving her a hard time,” Jimin explains to his friends before placing the bottle in front of you two and making his way to the rushes of people his colleague can barely take care of at the other side of the bar.

“So you wanna fuck him?” Taehyung asks as he leans in over the bar and grabs a glass for himself, a couple of weird looks being thrown his way, he can’t care less about. He practically owns the place so if anyone has any right to lean in and use and abuse the bar all he wants, he would be the rightful owner.

“He’s already fucking me up in that meeting room every single day,” you scoff gulping down the rest of the glass and he quickly fills it up for you “And I let him and his assistants take turn fucking me like their little corporate whore, like the idiot I am.” you scoff bitterly, the rageful words leaving your lips one after another

“Damn … you really are a writer. You just described a really good gangbang. Are you into writing porn these days? ” He muses receiving a scolding hiss from you “Easy!” he spits back holding his hands defensively.

You place your elbow on the table and rest your head on your palm as you mutter “He says my final draft doesn’t have enough edge to be published, He wants something that is enough for people to either drink or masturbate.” You roll your eyes as you repeat the man’s quote from your meeting earlier

“So he wants either a sex scene or a tragic death?” Taehyung clarifies as he shakes his head “Jesus, Seokjin Hyung wasn't joking when he said his marriage is fucking him up.”

“I fucking know,” you groan in agreement “He either really wants to bone his wife or he wants to kill her in her sleep,” you scoff “Either way I’m the one being mind fucked here.”

“Well …” Taehyung presses his back on the high chair as he calmly suggests “If he wants it so bad, just write one.”

You knock the glass on the table “As If I haven’t considered that Genius.” you snarl

“Well, I mean you’re a fucking writer. You’ve written more ridiculous things than a tragic death or two people banging. Can’t you just push one in?”

“The main character has already had a near-death experience she lived through, its gonna look super cringy if I push another tearjerker”

“Then make them fuck,” Taehyung shrugs “Can’t be that hard if your character is a modern-day thot.”

You gulp biting the corner of your lips at his statement “I don’t write erotica, Tae” you say through gritted teeth

“You’re making a big deal out of this. just think of the last time you got laid and put it into words-” he pauses midway through his sentence as the corner of his lips curves into a smirk “Ah Right!” he nods “I forgot it’s been too long since you put your genitals near any other human being.”

“Shut up!” you growl back at him like an angry wolf being nudged at the sensitive spot.

“This is why I tell you, you need to come out of your room instead of writing fanfictions all night long and just get fucking laid.” He nags like the mother in law you don’t have but have described multiple times in your pieces.

“I write for a living Mr Get fucking laid,” you reply with a sarcastic tone “I don’t live to fuck any living, breathing creature I can find like you.”

“Boring,” he snorts looking away as he eyes the group of  hot girls in the not very far table that give him a look and all laugh together when he winks at them “We are mammals, we were designed to fuck and enjoy it.”

“The sole purpose is to reproduce and continue the human species. Which I think is the only last thing on your list when you bone a girl.” You mention turning on your seat to face him

"Well …” he nods in agreement “That’ll happen sometimes later, We’re still young, we can just fuck for the sake of pleasure and curve the system”

You sigh, realizing the argument you started with your best friend was as useless as the alcohol you tried to flood your system with. “Alright Casanova, why don’t you go and put your dick somewhere to curve the system and leave me alone?”

Taehyung’s eyes are fixed at the group of girls, his eyes squinting as if he is onto something. Considering how much of a fuckboy he is, you assume he is trying to imagine which position he can try with the poor girl who will be the prey of his one-night stand.

“Hey Nerdy,” his eyes glances back at you “I have an idea”

“Oh really?” you laugh asking in a mocking tone “So when did you develop the ability to think? That's quite a new one.”

“One day I’ll put your smart little mouth to some good use,” He uses the husky self-proclaimed “dom voice” he uses to seduce girls as he furrows his eyebrows.

“It’s a pass from me, I’m sure there are many others opting for that position,” you reply unfazed “Not sure if they’re as smart but you should settle you know!”

“Listen to me,” he ignores your statement completely, not very unexpectedly since the guy has a great selective listening for only hearing  things that boost his ego “I have a bomb idea for your fanfictions.”

“I told you they are NOT fanfictions, Jesus!” you growl, your voice rising as the alcohol starts to get to your head and make you bolder and louder than your usual calm and collected office worker self.

“You write while looking at the images of rapper August Rush or whatever his name is, most of which are half naked selfie mirrors. Even five years old can tell your last novel’s male lead’s character was exactly based on him.” He says with an anger tinted voice as you watch him with tipsy and amazed eyes.

“Since when do you read, Tae? You’re surprising me too much tonight!” You ask batting your eyelids slowly at him “also it's August D you idiot, not August Rush.”

“Anyways …” He clears his throat as his face hardens “Since you don’t have intentions to get that pussy working in any other way than your vibrator, I have a better idea”

You bring your not very hopeful eyes to him, slight anticipation blooming in your heart “What?”

“Second-hand experience …” he suggests crossing his arms across his chest as if he is one great intellectual “You can watch me fuck and write it.”

You stare at him for a few seconds before bursting out and laughing, your eyes travelling to his messy silver hair as you ruffle the strands playfully “you need to change your dealer Tae, the new pills are messing with your head.”

“you already know I don’t do drugs anymore,” he hisses through gritted teeth “I’m not joking, since Jung wants erotica so bad, just write one for him.” He smirks, confidence radiating off his body and his cocky tone “I’m sure people would bust a nut over my sex scenes”

“You’ve lost your mind,” you shake your head as you turn around and reach for the bottle of whiskey in front of you “It must be pussy deprivation, please go and get laid. you're scaring me with your nonsense”

“No, No listen to me Y/N …” Taehyung grabs your shoulder and turns you to face him “You’re good at writing what you see, you remember that time you wrote that whole scene based off our summer camp in high school.”

“Tae, can you hear yourself?” You said in disbelief “You want me to watch you while you bone a random girl just so I can write a sex scene for my draft?”

“Exactly” He nods in an excited tone, “I think It’ll turn out a bomb ass sex scene.”

“You know what, I wanted to believe you’re still sober but this is dragging it. I’m leaving.” you stand up grabbing the black file in front of you as you pull your backpack on your shoulder only to be stopped by Taehyung’s firm hold around your wrist.

“If you think about …” He starts with a deep voice, deeper than usual as he mutters “Jung is looking for an excuse to push you to redundancy, I heard from Seokjin Hyung his company isn’t doing so well.”

You pause, biting your lips in rage as you knew deep inside what Taehyung was saying is not totally wrong. The company wasn’t doing so well for the past year, having published many unsuccessful books.

On top of that, his wife was on bad terms with him after he caused a scandal with one of the female interns. So he was finding excuses to redundant any female employees he could to kill two birds with one stone and redeem himself.

“I know …” you sigh looking back at the guy and slapping his hand away “But it still doesn’t make sense to intrude someone’s intimate moment just for the sake of my job.” you sigh ruffling your hair in frustration.

“I mean …” Taehyung pulls you to stand In front of him as he looks up at you “first of all that person is me,” he then smirks naughtily as he continues “And those intimate moments you’re talking about, we usually share them with a couple of other people down my balcony.”

“You disgusting bastard,” you wince, face scrunching with disgust at the guy’s explanation as you protest “I … I still can’t …”

“why?” He smirks as he stands up and leans closer “Are you scared you might wanna join?” he smirks as he messes your bangs "We can always negotiate a threesome if you want."

“Yeah sure, as if I haven’t seen you pee your pants before,” you roll your eyes “You’re the only human with a dick I wouldn’t wanna put my genital anywhere near.”

“That was in middle school okay?” he hisses, his face contouring in anger as he reminisces the memory that flashes through both of your minds “Also Don’t worry, you won’t be able to handle me anyways.”

He then releases your hand, quickly running his eyes around for a good target for the night as he mutters “come to my apartment, I’ll come home with the lady of the night,” he says as he manages to annoy you one last time by digging his hand in your hair and completely messing it before drifting away from you.

You sigh as you watch the guy walks through the masses of people before standing behind a girl who’s wearing a short dress, barely covering her nonexistent panties. He wraps his arms around the girl’s lower waist, dangerously close to her ass while whispering his dirty seductive words in her ear.

You turn around and wave for Jimin who flashes a warm smile and mouths “Take care,” with his usual bright energy as you make your way to the exit. The club is a frequent place for people like your age to get wasted at nights so you don’t have trouble catching an Uber to make your way home.

You fish for your earphones and place it in your ears, playing your favourite sad song, staring out the window as if you’re the main character of your favourite novel, weeping over a lost love.

You smile bitterly as you realize how lame your life is, everyone else around you either getting laid or getting their heart broken but you’re here, at the back seat of an Uber tearing up over the company that doesn’t appreciate your pieces because they’re not as “Edgy” as they want.

You flinch as the phone vibrates in your hand and you roll your eyes at the name on the screen “Yes?” you reply, tone dangerously low and raging

“Ooh cold …” the guy across the phone winces at your formality “The meeting must have had a toll on you.”

“Piss off, I’m too tired to deal with you Jeon,” you snap back, knowing the guy over the phone already knows the reason behind your rage “I’m hanging up!” you warn him but he’s quicker than you

“Hold up Hold up,” he replies and you can clearly hear his smirk through the phone “Don’t be a bitch Y/N.” He hesitates, the sound of lips smacking on his skin with the nasal moan of a girl you could clearly imagine based on his ideal type echoing in the device “Do you want a hand?”

“I think you need a hand, Jeon!” you scoff “I’m hanging up before your girl cums on her own.”

“No need to be jealous,” he laughs darkly as he shifts over the phone the sound of the girl’s lips rising even more and you bite your lips “You could be in her place if you want, you just have to ask nicely!” he suggests and you immediately scoff

“Thank you for the offer Jeon but I have a draft I need to submit tomorrow morning,” you reply through gritted teeth “9:00 am SHARP” you mimic the way Jung threatened you about your deadline earlier that day.

“You think you can pull it off on your own?” he asks and you can feel the teasing in his voice

“Isn’t it better for you if I don’t?” You ask with a sarcastic tone “You get off  seeing me fail don’t you?”  

“Mhm that’s your issue Y/N, you never believe me but …” he mutters in a lower voice “I’ll rather cum in your mouth ”

“You will,“ You bite your tongue “Probably in your next porn script, make it good, I’ll watch in my free time.” You say in a mocking tone

“Brats like you need to be taught a lesson instead of sitting behind a desk and write all day,” he says through gritted teeth and you smile at the taste of victory “call me if you change your mind, I have a good “edgy” scene sitting on my drafts, just like the ones Jung loves. I can prepare for tomorrow at 9 am SHARP!”

“Send it to him instead,” you reply sharply “It seems like his wife sucks just like your girlfriends!” you don’t hesitate to receive his response as you press the button on the cord extension of your earphone and press your head on the cold window.

Your eyes then perks open as you lean closer to the driver “Sorry, Can you take the next exit to left, I have to go somewhere else?”

The middle-aged man nods without any words and takes the next exit to your destination. You’re still contemplating your decision when the car pulls over in front of the apartment complex you frequently visit, you quickly press a few buttons and pay the driver with your phone, thanking him for putting up with your sudden change of mind.

You step out of the car and enter the complex , the old man who you barely know his name smiles at you and calls for you “Oh, you’re here again”   You nod flashing a smile to him as you walk to where he’s sitting to show him your ID when he quickly says “You can go up, I know you’re with Young master.”

You mutter a quick thanks as you make your way to the elevator that leads you up to the penthouse at the very top of the building where Kim Taehyung lives.

He is the youngest son of the very well known Kim Group. You truly never knew what exactly his family were up to, but you knew that they “live comfortably” as Taehyung would love to describe.

But one thing you knew for sure, was that his definition of comfortable was owning an apartment complex in the heart of the city while yours was maintaining grocery budget to the end of the week after paying the bills.

He was a rebel, very much different from his older brother Seokjin who was also the heir of their family business. Since he barely had any hands in the family business, he used his privilege as a rich kid to party and hook up with girls, his ridiculously attractive face and body helping him in the whole process.

He bought the club a year ago, realizing his passion for partying might also be a venture to explore his business side. Which thanks to his prolonged history in being one of the “Gangnam Rich Kids” immediately received attention and customers from all over Seoul.

Your friendship with him, amazes you till this day, considering you were just a scholarship transfer to the private middle school he attended. You started off hating him since from the beginning he was the typical snobby, cocky rich boy who just wanted to dominate everyone around him including you. so you promised yourself to steer clear of him.

But your new school year resolution didn’t last long when the guy offered you to do his homework for a “couple of bucks” a week as he said. The money that was equal the total allowance you received from your parents for the whole year.

Your nerd ass decided God doesn’t knock the door with a stupid rich guy who can’t even do his homework, more than once. So you took the offer and became his personal homework slave for the rest of your school years.

Well, not much has changed since those years, Taehyung still trying to dominate, girls mostly these days considering he grew up to have a ridiculous amount of stamina.

And you … you hate to admit it but you’re still a slave for money, writing for Jung’s publishing company to pay your bills at the expense of your creativity. Because as Jung loves to remind you “Rainbow and unicorn” you love to write about doesn’t sell well.

Well except for one thing. you somehow managed to developed a surprisingly close friendship with Taehyung from school years into adulthood which made your decision to watch him while he hooks up with a  girl sound even more absurd in your mind.

You sigh, stepping out of the lift as you make your way towards the door of his apartment, already imagining that cocky smirk on his face once he sees you.

Especially considering you already texted him right after you exited the club telling him you won’t be showing up at his place, not realizing a phone call from Jeon Fucking Jungkook would be enough to make you angry enough to change your mind.

You furrow your eyebrows as the door opens quickly after you press the bell button and a freshly showered girl, with the water glazing her skin and the bathrobe covering her body greets you.

“Hi hon, Come in!” she says with a smile as she opens the door and moves away so you can enter the apartment “We were waiting for you”

You stare at her with lost eyes when Taehyung’s voice echoes in the hallway.

“Y/N,” you turn around and your face heats up at the sight of Taehyung’s  half-naked body, with the towel loosely hanging his lower body which had a fall hazard any second coming to your sight “I told you it’ll be a good idea, Come In,” he says pointing at his room before bringing his teasing gaze to the girl and she giggles in return.

The girl pats your shoulder and moves in excitement ahead of you, as your heavy footsteps take you to the last room in the hallways. You enter Taehyung’s master bedroom, quickly searching for his study desk which he probably does anything  but studying on it, placing your backpack on the wooden surface

“A-Are you guys sure about this?” You ask, hesitation resonating in your tone, your eyes travelling between Taehyung who’s drinking from his can of beer and the girl who’s spraying herself with some expensive body mist.

“Yeah Hon,” The girl smiles as she drops herself on the abnormally huge king sized bed, batting her eyelids at you “So you’re gonna write your story based on us?”

“Yeah, I guess!” you reply with an awkward tone, the whole situation suddenly feeling too surreal. In a moment both of the people in the room will be naked, doing God knows what and you’ll have to watch.

“That’s so cool,” the girl says clapping her hands in excitement “Hon, Make me look pretty in your story okay?”

You stare at the girl, nodding your head in disbelief that the only concern the girl has about you watching him get dicked down is looking pretty. People are indeed strange, you wonder as you sit down on Taehyung’s comfortable wheely chair and open your tablet to set your tools up.

“Just so you know, you can both stop and tell me to leave the room at any point!” you firmly point out, eyeing both of them as if you were a referee explaining the rules of the game.

“I’m sure you’ll leave this room earlier than us, Hon.” the girl chirps in a jolly tone, laughing with Taehyung and you can’t help but grit your teeth at how much of a joke this situation is to both of them.

“I told you it won’t be a problem,” He says winking teasingly at you. He then walks to you placing his can of beer just beside your tablet “your muse is a bit of exhibitionist” he smirks as he turns around and attacks the girl on the bed like a hungry beast, devouring her mouth in a swift motion.

You’re still trying to set your instant sync function working on your word document, when the sound of their lips smacking together echoes in the silent room and your stomach drops as you peek at them through the corner of your eyes before immediately looking back at the screen in front of you.

Ironically the sound of their intense makeout session reminds you of the phone call you had earlier with Jungkook and you grit your teeth with determination, reminding yourself that the only reason you’re here is to not give Jeon Jungkook the satisfaction of your failure.

Your eyes slowly glaze on the pair in front of you, perfectly angled so that you get a pretty decent view of both of them, Taehyung covering the girl’s body with his huge built. Since they really don’t care, you might as well get the most of this experience and write a good erotic piece.

You place the tablet on your thighs, facing them with the turn of the chair, your fingers quickly dancing on the keyboard to describe the way your best friend digs his tongue in his one-night stand’s throat.

Do people actually like this? You wonder as you keep searching your brain for appropriate words other than the ones already popping up in your conscious while the other part of your brain scolds you to not judge your reader’s preferences.  

You try to find enough decent words to describe the girl’s lips being bruised by Taehyung’s. Since she is sharing her most intimate moments with you, you might as well play along to her request and make this sound as pleasing as possible on her side.

They part their lips with a gasp from each other, you almost shout at the top of your lungs like a movie director to get back to work but then you remind yourself, you’re watching two people actually doing this for pleasure and they also need to breathe.

You quickly finish the description on each of their faces since their panting moments was probably the last few seconds it would look normal for the rest of the night as you hear their little conversation in the background.

“So,“ the sound of the girl’s lips rising even more and you bite your lips “safe word?” Taehyung asks in a deep voice, the girl giggling and squirming under him.

“Is it really necessary, Taehyung?” you flinch at how needy the girl’s voice sounds just after a quick make out, wondering what exactly is about your best friend that has girls losing their shit over him.

“Trust me, Once we get too deep in this, you might need it” he groans leaning closer and nibbling her ear and she moans

“Carousel,” she replies with a giggle and you furrow your eyebrows at her strange choice of safe word but again you gotta push through the night, reminding that the only person deserving to be judged is you for sitting in the middle of two adults having sex and try to use them for your creative purposes.

Taehyung pulls away and kneels on the bed, your eyes quickly travel to him to see what he’s up to. He grabs the hem of his towel,  tearing it apart and immediately a small gasp find its way out of your lips at what his action uncovers, his dark orbs travelling to yours.

You assume the girl is as surprised as you about what’s standing proudly between Taehyung’s thighs because what echoes in the room while you gulp catching Taehyung’s eyes on yourself, is her breathy gasp.

“Mhmm …” he hums to the girl but his eyes are still on your dilated pupils “You like what you see?”

You get a grip on yourself quickly bringing your eyes to the screen, your fingers which stopped drumming on the keyboard quickly getting back to pace around as you hear a small groan from the guy.

You bring your trembling gaze back to the scene and realize his groan is only because his ginormous dick is being pampered by the girl with slow strokes and small kitten licks along the shaft.

"Foreplay", you quickly think before pressing enter and quickly typing the girl’s skilled actions, his dick now growing into more of a hard-on and starting to lay flat against the girl’s welcoming lips.

She parts her lips and devours him into her lips in a quick motion and you wet your lips as your eyes travel between her little show and Taehyung’s head which falls back with a loud husky moan falling off his lips.

“Fuck …” he groans as his hand quickly reaches for the strands of blonde hair, holding firmly onto her head as he thrust his hip forward “That feels good.” he compliments with a groan of pleasure and the girl starts to bob her head.

You quickly write his words just like the way they leave his lips, wishing you could record his voice and use them later, OF COURSE FOR WRITING PURPOSES, you remind yourself while the muscles of your inner thigh clench painfully closer together reminding you that you also are a human with needs.

Maybe this is why people loved sex scenes in a book, sex in writing although was portrayed through the dry black and white fonts plastered on a piece of paper, it gave them enough freedom to manipulate and grow it in their own horizons of imagination when they were in need, just like you were now.

You lick your lips in anticipation as you try to describe the way your friend fucks the girl’s mouth in the most pleasing way, tinted by slight hazy bits and bobs so you give your readers the perfect amount of imagination to grow.

Your breath cages in your lung when Taehyung snaps his hip forward against the girl’s lips, keeping it firmly against her throat as the slight sound of her gagging echoes in the room and your heart beats in concern. You quickly look for the girl’s expression in worry before her eyes curves into a tiny smile as they sew themselves to Taehyung

"You like that slut?” He asks biting his lips as a smirk plasters on his face watching her faint smile “You like it when I gag you on my big fat cock huh?” He pulls away, moving the girl’s head away from his hip just reaching his tip before snapping his dick back into her mouth, this time tears  with a mixture of the girl’s mascara running down her cheek

“You messy little slut, you like it when Daddy fucks your throat huh?”

You quickly try to write the words down on the screen before bringing your gaze back to the girl, for some reason expecting her to look unhappy with her gag reflex constantly being stimulated

But instead the scene you witness has another muffled gasp leaving your lips, the girl nodding persistently as one of her hands are dipped between her legs indicating she’s touching herself.

“You dirty little slut,” Taehyung groans as he keeps her there for a few more seconds, watching her touch herself “You wanna cum while sucking Daddy’s cock?”

The girl nods again, more tears leaving her eyes as she continues to move her fingers on her clit In speedy circular motions.

“I wanna see you try dirty slut,” Taehyung smirks and your breath hitches as his eyes momentarily glances over you as he mutters “Try and cum slut … cum while Daddy fucks your nice tight throat, ruining your mouth and your makeup.”

Your breath hitches in your throat as he orders the filthy words, looking directly into your eyes. Your brain screams at you to write his dirty talk down, since you would never, in thousand years come up with such filthy words on your own.

But your widened eyes are fixed on his until he spares you and looks down at the girl as he starts fucking the girl’s throat, who’s rubbing her clit in an insane speed searching for her release.

But her hopes shatter, as much as yours when Taehyung’s hip stutters and he bursts with a couple more thrusts, his head falling back and his loud moans echoing in the room as he cums in the girl’s mouth.

The girl swallows every drop attentively like she’s been dehydrated in Sahara desert for a few days and the only way for her to survive is to swallow Taehyung’s cum.

You make a mental note, not to describe the scene in the way you just thought of as probably not many people will find your strange example sexy and arousing but rather hilarious. Taehyung’s head snaps back up and the first thing he does has you struggle with your breathing pattern again.

He glances over at you again, biting his lips with his orgasmic and fucked out face as you rub your thighs together unconsciously. You avoid eye contact, quickly bringing your attention back to the screen to make sure you haven’t actually written how suddenly thirsty you are for your best friend by accident.

“Naughty little slut,” You hear his dark voice but continue to finish your sentence when the sound of his hand coming into a slap on the girl’s body has you jolting up on your seat and your attention is quickly back on him “No touching now.”

You watch as he grabs the girl by her hair, pulling her up on her knees to face him, the girl’s lips parting to pant for air as the droplets of cum are dripping on the corner of her lips.

“Daddy, Please …” she begs to stare at him with seductive eyes but Taehyung is not having any of it.

“I said you can only cum before I cum,” He says as he grabs both her wrist and pins them in one of his own big hands above her head before bringing his other palm into another sharp smack against her ass cheek “You know dirty girls get punished. You wanna be punished, little whore?”

“Yes,” the girl nods “Punish me, Daddy,” she licks her lips in anticipation “Punish me like the little slut I am.”

You furrow your eyebrows at girl’s request , quickly typing the words leaving her lips with the description of how fucked out and needy she looks like with her hand above her head, her towel lying on the bed away from where It should be on her body with some juicy description about the red marks of Taehyung’s hand on her bottom.

“Yeah?” his eyes perks at the girl’s words “You want Daddy to teach you a lesson?”

“Yessss -Aaahhh …” she gasps as another smack comes into contact with the flesh of her ass and you have to bite your lips harshly to stop the breathy sound leaving your lips.

He is ruthless with his “punishment”, you start to judge his scene as your eyes dance on the harsh red flesh of the girl’s bottom. But she looks somehow content and aroused as if she wants even more of the harsh treatment more.

“Is this why you’ve been a bad girl?” Taehyung asks in a husky tone and the girl moans in response nodding her head

“Yes, Daddy … I’ve been bad … I’ve been really really bad …” she purrs in response, igniting a fire in Taehyung’s eyes as his hand comes into another whiplash against her bottom.

You flinch as a drop of arousal slowly trickles between your legs, your fingers immediately stopping their actions on the keyboard as you watch Taehyung “punish” the girl as she asks for, while the girl’s loud, wanton moans ring in your ear.

You were never the type to be aroused to such type of scenes, your taste rather being “vanilla” as Taehyung would love to usually tease you about. You weren’t particularly pressed about your taste, preferring your sex rather sensual and romantic than wild and kinky. Even the porn you’re watched reflected your taste, with your most recent search including things like “romantic couple” and “porn with a romantic plot”.

You believed your life had too much of angst in the office you had to spend your day at, typing words after words describing a fantasy that had people clench their fists in anger or blink their tears away while reading that you preferred to keep it all chill and relaxing back at home.  

But yet again, you’re here, watching your best friend executing his kinky actions on his one night stand and you can’t totally deny that your body is somehow enjoying the scene.

shifting up on the seat, you press your thighs together, the ticklish arousal between your legs distracting you too much from your writing but you immediately regret your decision when Taehyung brings his lust hooded eyes to you as the chair under your screeches due to your weight shift.

You gulp like a kid being caught shattering the fish tank in the living room, the unreadable expression on Taehyung’s face not helping your nerves either.

You’re still contemplating if your best friend can sense the damp spot on your panties that you are desperately trying to ignore when his next action has you drip even more from your core. He keeps his eyes fixed on you while he strokes the red flesh of the girl’s ass cheek, reaching for her clit with the other hand and pinching her bundle of nerves.

“Aaaahhh …” she whines, shuddering at the harsh touch

“You’re so fucking dripping for Daddy” he gasps as he touches her arousal and makes a mess of her cleanly shaved pussy with the juices he acquires from her “All wet and ready for Daddy’s cock huh?”

You stare into his eyes, your eyes glancing back and forth between his face and his hand on the girl’s private part, blush to creep into your cheeks as the juices smearing all around her inner thigh somehow resembles the mess between your own legs. You let out a gasp of relief as Taehyung finally tears his gaze from you and looks back at the girl

“I’m sure if you sit  on Daddy’s cock, you’d just slide right down” he suggests as he fastens his finger on the girl’s core

“Yessss Daddy … I’d take you well … I’d take all of your cock…” she promises with a needy tone and Taehyung nods before shifting back from her, the girl whining as his hand leaves her core.

You quickly finish the girl’s part, your goal at this point being to just write down their dirty conversations and memorise the rest of the session in your mind to elaborate on later. You didn’t wanna admit but your own pussy was already too aroused for you to think straight and write a decent scene with enough details.

Taehyung sits down at the head of his bed, his back resting on the bedpost while his long muscular legs part to unravel his proudly standing cock even more. He strokes his shaft which you can swear has grown larger since he first took the towel off while looking at the girl standing right in your line of sight.

“Come ride Daddy then” he orders staring at the girl with unimpressed eyes

The girl moans in excitement quickly shifting closer to his lap, straddling his big thick thighs while holding onto his shoulder. You bit your lips realizing the girl’s back is now facing you and a sigh of disappointment leaves your lips knowing you would have to improvise the girl side of the scene on your own.

You secretly hate Taehyung for choosing that position instead of choosing a more conventional one like missionary or doggy so that you get a better view of both of them. But then again you realize you’re writing a sex scene, which you’ve never done and could have never pulled off without his help so you better stop being an ungrateful bitch and take advantage of the situation.

You glance up from the screen as you hear a wanton sound leaving the girl’s lips, watching in anticipation of the event as she slides down on Taehyung’s cock painfully slow. You take a moment and just blink your eyes at how his thick girth parts her pussy lips apart, admiring her for her flexibility down in her kitty.

Before you know, you find your mind drifting as you imagine how would it be if that was your pussy and imagine your tight walls that haven’t experienced much would probably rip apart with the first few inches at the tip, considering he’s the thickest up there.

You quickly shake the thought off and your fingers fasten their pace on the keyboard as if the keys under your fingertip are being punished for your dirty mind.

“Fuck” you hear the girl sighs in a weak tone and you look up “Daddy … It’s so big …” you gulp and silently agree with the girl as you quickly write what she says along with a couple of sentences explaining the reason behind her statement being your best friend’s abnormally huge dick.

You furrow your eyebrows when you patiently wait for Taehyung’s response but nothing comes out and you find yourself looking up at him with almost annoyed eyes. Your eyes tremble as you see his eyes fixed on you, a cocky smirk plastered on the corner of his lips as you raise an eyebrow as if you wanna convey to him your frustration over his silence.

“Mhmm …” he hums , his gaze still fixed on you “I thought you said you can take me” he growls with an arrogant tone “Come on” the girl shrieks as a sharp slap comes in contact with her ass “Take it like the good slut you are” he says all the dirty words looking past the girl’s body which was directly in your line of sight, into your eyes.

“Fuck Daddy …” the girl digs her nails on his shoulder as she pushes herself lower “AAAHH … I can’t”

“You can’t,  can you?” He asks with a teasing tone as he grabs her ass and holds her right there, filled to the brim as the girl whines  "Its okay, you’re not the first one that failed to take me.“

You roll your eyes at Taehyung’s proud statement, hating that the girl’s inability to take him to boost his ego immediately. This is why he is the cocky bastard he is, you think as your quickly type his remark at how proud he is about his size.

"Cheeky whore” he slaps her ass again receiving a soft whimper from the girl “Thinking you can take Daddy just because you fucked some dick” he scolds and you tilt your head in confusion as you hear his tone changing to more of a dark and angry one “Move” he orders as his fingers dig into her ass flesh and moves her on his dick “Ride Daddy like a good girl”

The girl quickly complies and the room soon fills with the sound of her loud cries of pleasure, the sound of skin slapping with the mixture of the girl’s wanton cries being your background music as you continue to describe the intercourse with your limited knowledge of what you’re watching.

“Aaahh … Daddy … your cock feels so good …” The girl whines fastening her pace, riding Taehyun’s cock as if she’s riding some kind of racehorse “I wanna cum all over your cock, Daddy, I wanna cum …”

“Yeah? You wanna cum little slut?” He asks as his hands reach for her throat and grasp her windpipe tightly “Then beg like the little whore you are, beg for Daddy”

“Please … ” the girl pants as little air reaches her lungs but her moans only intensify in sound “Please let me cum Daddy”

“You think you deserve it? You think you deserve to cum on Daddy’s cock?” Taehyung asks as you watch his other arm moving down between the girl’s leg which is not totally clear to your eyes. The girl’s head falls back and you realize where his hands are working, her sensitive clit, you assume, pushing the girl closer to the edge.

“Yessss … Yes, Daddy … let me cum … I wanna cum while you fill me up” the girl voices out the words in a rushed tone, tears  tinted by her mascara  flowing down her eyes again

“You want Daddy’s cum in your tight  cunt huh?” Taehyung smirks, his eyes suddenly dancing on you while he says “You want Daddy to fill your messy cunt with his cum huh??”

You gulp, feeling your own walls clench around nothing, your carnal desires and possibly your deprived vagina screaming at you for the same attention the girl is receiving between her legs like a jealous ex-girlfriend. You dig your teeth into your bottom lips, tasting the blood having you hope that the pain might help distract you from your whiny pussy down there.

“Yes Daddy …” the girl finally musters up a sound “Fill me up with your cum”

Taehyung thrusts his hip up, helping the girl to reach attain her wish as he’s nearing his own release while his hand continuously works on her clit. Your finger has completely stopped working, the only thing you can do is watch the mess between their legs as they both work towards their big moment.

“Fuck …” Taehyung’s lustful groan echoes in your ear and you look up “I’m gonna cum …” he says his eyes glancing over your before closing for a few seconds as he stills the girl’s hip and ruts himself into her ruined cunt.

He grits his teeth, his eyes still fixed on you when he suddenly frowns and a deep groan leaves his lips as his head falls back but his hip still works hard deep inside the girl’s walls.

“Aaaahh … Daddy …” The girl shudders, her body shaking violently on him and you can safely assume she’s experiencing some great moments of pleasure by the way her mounds bounce in the air with every shake of her body.

Taehyung’s hip stutters and you know he’s reached his climax when the transparent droplets of his cum come rushing down where his cock is thrusting deep inside the girl’s pussy.

Their sloppy moans and groans are your last few sentences, describing the magical moment of sparkling stars and breathtaking orgasm your readers probably love to read.

You’re slightly bummed out you have to sit there watching your best friend have a blast while you just get to watch and write it in the best possible way for other people, your poor muscles clenching around nothing but air. Become an author they said, its very fun they said.

“Ughh …” Taehyung’s deep groan has you looking up at the guy who’s now coming down from his high, blinking your eyes nervously as you make eye contact with each other and his eyebrows furrow closer into a deep frown.

You quickly press the save button on the top of the screen, knowing better not to trust the sync function as you quickly stand up and grab your bag “I’m gonna leave you guys alone now” you quickly whisper , trying your best not to ruin the intimate moment they probably would have preferred you not to disturb “Thanks Guys , I’ll buy you dinner some time” you quickly suggest as you make your way to the door and rush out of his apartment.

You sigh in relief as your Uber finally arrives in front of the apartment complex and you settle in the car. It’s only then that you realise so much tension and stress in leaving Taehyung’s apartment had you forget the wet spot in your panties that are sticking right to your slit.

You sigh as you make a promise to your neglected kitty that you’ll treat her to a nice, exciting high induced by the new rabbit vibrator you ordered last week from Amazon on sale once it arrives.

You open your tablet and glance over the quick messy document you wrote in an hour, already starting to see how you can elaborate or change details so its appealing enough to Jung’s taste.

-

You nervously click your heels on the floor as you pull your phone out of your pocket, glancing over the secretary who is doing her paperwork before pressing your iMessage app and press on the first name.

You furrow your eyebrows noticing the seen icon with time indicating two hours earlier flashing underneath the message you sent to Taehyung earlier in the morning.

After working on the draft you pulled off at Tae’s house, you ended up spending the rest of the night polishing and using your short term memory to recall the parts you missed as it was happening.

Once you were happy with the draft it was already 5 in the morning, meaning you could have exactly two hours of sleep before getting to the meeting you had with Jung. Which also meant you would have to use makeup and heaps of concealer to give the world the illusion you have had a good night sleep.

“Y/N … You can go in” the secretary who knew you very well notifies you and you quickly push your phone back into your pocket and enter Jung’s room.

He is sitting behind his desk as always, glancing over his iMac screen with his attentive eyes. You can’t lie, you sometimes find yourself intimidated by his gaze since his job is being a critic, imagining he judges everything about you even and it’s not just your writing.

“Sit down,” he says and you take a seat on the couch across his desk, glancing nervously at the glass plate reading “CEO Jung Hoseok” which runs a shiver down your spine.

You are nervous, considering the meeting you are in, could determine if you should go home and buy the new Gucci handbag you wanted to buy for a month or you should start looking for a new job; Your desperate wish being that the first possibility is the one winning.

You gulp as he finally departs his gaze from the screen and he walks around his desk to the single sofa set at the tail of the two couches

“Sorry I had you waiting, I was still looking at the draft you sent me this morning”

You nod flashing a fake smile “That’s alright Sir” you reply softly, hoping your manners would be any help on his decision

“You know why I like you Y/N?” He asks and it takes you a few seconds to really digest his words. Jung? Likes me? The fuck is he on about!

“I’m not sure Sir” you reply deciding the stupid silence is not gonna help you get anywhere.

“Its because I can see the determination in you …” he says as his eyes settle at your lost expression “I’ve seen many writers come and go in my company, but none of them has what you have. You know why you write, and you’re not afraid to push your limits.”

You stare at the guy with confused eyes, in all of the worst-case scenarios you tried to come up in your creative mind, none ended up as you being praised by Jung Hoseok, the single most difficult writing critic of this company who almost never had anything good to say.

Oh, the realization hit you, your face falls as you realize what the guy is doing. He wants to parts ways in good terms so he’s trying to fool you with nice words.

“Thanks, Sir … but you don’t really have to do this. I already cleaned up my desk, I can hand in my resignation by tomorrow” you say, your voice trembling despite having rehearsed the words a couple of hundred times already

“Wait what …” Jung looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, his expression hardening “Where are you going? Did you get any offers?” He raises an eyebrow suspiciously

“Well no … but I’ll be onto it as soon as you issue my resignation … “ you sigh finding the guy caring for you slightly hypocritical since he was practically firing you “Anyways, it’s not something that concerns you …”

“Y/N” he calls with his stern tone “What the fuck are you talking about?” He raises his voice, using the f word he almost never uses even in his most furious moments “You still have a contract with us and I’m not accepting any resignation until I know the reason”

“Sir …” you sigh as your blood boils at his statement “I know you wanna redundant me, So I’ll just play along and hand in my resignation. I think I at least deserve the redundancy claim, don’t I? How am I supposed to survive until I find another job …” you pant as the lump in your throat doesn’t allow you to finish your sentence without your voice trembling

“Wait a second …” he shakes his head in confusion “Who said I’m gonna redundant you?”

You stare at him with dazed eyes, tears pooling in your eyes as you whisper “You’re not?”

“God …” he whispers as he watches the tears run down your cheek and quickly reaches for the tissues on the coffee table In front of you “I mean I knew you have a creative mind but Christ, your imagination went wild didn’t it?”

You grab a couple of tissues in a rushed manner and wipe your tears as you hear him explain

“I was about to tell you, send the draft to the editing team and get it edited before we send it to the printing department.”

You bring your teary eyes to him, the lack of sleep and the tears not allowing you to see him clearly ”W-What …”

“What I told you yesterday was a way for me to test you “ He explains as he quickly stands up and walks to the mini fridge across his office to grab a bottle of water “I want you to step out of your usual writing style and experiment a bit. Your pieces are already doing fine but since you’ve come so far, why not try the mainstream writing a bit!”

He opens the bottle and places it in front of you “When I read your draft this morning I felt happy about my job after so many years. This is why I do what I do, I need to critique your work so you can push further out of your comfort zone and try new things” he hesitates as you grab the water and gulp it down to calm your nerves as he continues “And as far as I’m concerned you did beyond my expectation”

You choke on the water in your throat at his words before looking at him in disbelief “Sir …”

“Yes?” He replies firmly

“Is this a dream?” You ask with a disappointed tone and he smiles shaking his head watching your burst into tears again

“ go home and sleep for a bit first, you look awful.” he says and you wince at his unkind words “Then send your draft and prepare for a meeting with the printing team”

You nod your head, still In daze as the guy explains what you need to do next before patting your shoulder

“Now quickly leave my office before someone comes in and thinks I made you cry. I have enough rumours roaming around. ” He laughs standing up and walking back to his desk

You quickly mimic what he did and jump to your feet bowing deeply for him “Thank you, sir, I’ll work harder.” you say in a determined tone

“Alright, Go get some rest.” he nods and you quickly turn on your heels and march your way out of his office.

Your heart is beating fast as the whole news is suddenly settling in your body. You’ve finally received the green light on publishing the book you worked on over the past 6 months and not only that, you were finally acknowledged by the grumpy and harsh critic, Jung Hoseok.

You quickly reach for your phone in your pocket, your eyes scanning over the screen you forgot to press out of, the seen icon under your message still flashing to your eyes like it was before the meeting with Jung.

But you’re too excited to care as you quickly press on Tae’s name and press the green button and press the device on your ear. You sigh as he doesn’t answer you, expecting it as Taehyung almost never replies your calls on time, either he is too drunk, too sleepy or too busy hooking up to do so.

“Y/N …”  You turn around and see Jungkook walk towards you with his smug smirk plastered on his devilishly handsome face as soon as you get off the lift on the first floor “heard the news … must be a party In your pants huh?”

He stops right in front of you and you swear you would have punched that smirk off his face if you were gonna resign from this company anytime soon. But for now, you’re too happy and content with your job to let him win over your nerves

“Well, it can’t be that its always in yours can it? That’d be too ...” you scoff as you smile victoriously “sexist!” Jungkook’s dark eyes settle on you in amusement, his silence creeping a tension between the two of you that you soon brush off  "Now excuse me, I need to go home and prepare for my meeting with the printing team" you wink at him mischievously before turning on your heels

“That scene, it’s not yours, is it?” Jungkook’s voice reaches your ear and you turn around

“What are you talking about?” you raise an eyebrow

“You’re telling me you pulled off your first sex scene, mind you a good one, in one night while you’re spending all your life in that office doing anything …” he hesitates before a mocking smirks fly through his lips “but get laid”

“Why? Does it hurt your ego?” You ask tilting your head to the side “Don’t worry, this is gonna be my last sex scene for life. The porn scripts are all yours. You know I don’t usually do dirty work.” you say in a sarcastic tone

“That’s not any of my concern …” he says , his expression hardening while his smirk is still persistently adorning his lips “Jung sent the draft to me to have a look before he gives you the green light,” You grit your teeth knowing, in the end, you needed his acknowledgement even when clearly Jung liked you work “what you wrote, mind you if it’s yours,  cannot be from watching porn or a reference text.”

You gulp, nervously reminding yourself that what Jungkook is saying is totally right but he still necessary doesn’t have to know your strange, unconventional ways of writing a crazy sex scene.

“I take it as a compliment Jeon,” you flash a sweet smile “If you wanted some of my reference texts, hit me up. I’m more than happy to share.  We’re colleagues after all.” you bluff, knowing very well you wouldn’t be able to actually share Taehyung’s intimate moment with anyone but you also know that Jungkook is too much of a proud head to actually ask for it

“I’d rather be your reference next time … ” he chirps as his smirk deepens “Specially now that I know I’m exactly the type you like your references to be” he hesitates before your face that turns pink in shade as he looks around to make sure no one is around “Rough and Kinky.” It is his turn now to wink your way before he walks past you to the lift that leads him upstairs.

Your hand falls on your side as you sigh, It wasn’t the first time Jungkook acted this way. You always shrugged it off thinking he just has some kind of insane fantasy of boning someone in the office and probably the nearest target would be you considering you both live half of your life in there, writing your way through the day and night.

But his last couple of words rings in your mind, catching you off guard as you start to wonder if what he said is right. Obviously, the piece you’ve written was not based on your personal experience, But you couldn’t deny the persisting tingle between your legs since the night before. You quickly shake your head, putting it on the sexual frustration you’ve been delaying to address for a month now as you make your way outside the office.

 -

You place your bag on the bar table, the specific high seat you always occupy that catches Jimin’s attention as always. He smiles at you over the till as he politely serves the young girl who’s handing him the dollars for her drinks.

He quickly passes the changes with a customer service smile that makes his eyes almost disappear as he makes his way to you.

“Hey Babe …” he chirps as he grabs a tequila shot adorned by sugar and a piece of lemon as he fills it with an opened bottle he already has idly rested against him “Good to see you finally in good mood.”

“First of all, I had some proper sleep in a while …” you say as you lean in to show him your nonexistent dark circles “I didn’t even use the Tarte concealers after months, can you believe that Park Jimin?”

“You look great babe. Is it your ovulation?” He teases wiggling his eyebrows playfully

“No I’m not ready to get pregnant, ” you roll your eyes before licking your lips in excitement “But I’m ready to publish my next book”

“SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!” he screams at the top of his lungs, a couple of people around throwing their confused and questioning looks at you as you rush him to be quiet

“Hey Hey … We’re in a public place Park Jimin. Keep your loud ass for someone else,” you scold him with a smile that unconsciously finds its ways at your friend’s happiness

“God,” he gasps “You’re finally publishing it Oh My God!” he says in disbelief

“I know … I almost thought It’ll never happen,” you pout with a smile before leaning “You’re the first person that knows!” you say with a jolly tone

“he’s the first person to know what?”

You body tenses at the signature deep voice of your best friend, quickly turning around and watching the guy who’s ignored your message and calls all day.

“If you were interested enough you should have answered my calls,” you snap back at him, feeling annoyed that despite ignoring you the whole day he’s standing there, all cocky and haughty as if he’s done nothing wrong

“I was busy,” He shrugs off walking closer to your seat and sits beside you “so are you gonna tell me or should I ask Jimin?” he points out at the guy who’s smiling and keeping his silence over your quarrel like always

“They decided to publish my book,” You say crossing your arm across your chest and watch his expression soften into a smile

“For real?” He asks leaning closer to you

“Yes and if you answered your calls instead of spending the whole day get laid, You might have been the first one to hear the news.”  you hiss back at him in anger, not knowing why you’re so pressed about the fact that he’s ignored you considering he almost never answers his phone anyways

“That’s … Great, ” he says as his soft smile dances on his lips and you look at him in surprise, not seeing the cocky expression or his usual teasing comebacks when almost immediately his expression turns all around into his fuckboy self “And that’s thanks to who?”

“Well, ” you clear your throat as the memories from the night before rush all your blood to your cheek “I was gonna thank you for your contribution if you weren’t a dick and didn’t miss my calls.”

Taehyung studies you having a hard time making eye contact with him when your voice is called out by a stranger’s voice

“Y/N,” 

your head snaps back at the source of the voice and you internally sigh at the sight of your colleague who forced you into buying him drink because as he said “You owe him” for winning Jung’s heart 

“Seriously, did you have to come all the way here for just drinks?”

“Well, you could have just … not come I guess, Jeon” you roll your eyes at his whining,  missing Taehyung’s careful gaze which examines the guy walking to you

“Who’s this?” He asks, only then you look at your best friend and realize his hardened expression

“Jeon Jungkook, a colleague from work”  you quickly reply him

Jungkook raise his hand into a small wave before bringing his attention back to you "Are we staying here?”

“Of course,” You furrow your eyebrows, before realizing his eyes which stops at Taehyung who’s occupied the only seat beside you “Oh, he’s leaving.” you say patting Taehyung’s shoulder, so he knows to empty the seat for Jungkook.  

But he just sits there, his gaze dancing on the guy who’s standing with his arms across his chest waiting for him “Taehyung” you call and finally he tears his gaze from him and back to you

“What?” He growls in an angry tone

“Get off the seat,” You hiss, urging him to do as you say by pushing against his big arms and he finally picks his weight off and makes the seat empty for Jungkook

“Thanks, I guess.” Jungkook finally occupies the seat before grabbing a menu and looking through the drinks

You glare at Taehyung who’s still standing there, watching Jungkook with furrowed eyebrows, sighing in relief as he finally leaves the two of you alone.

“Boyfriend?” Jungkook asks raising an eyebrow as he points at Taehyung who’s now sitting idly with a couple of his rich friends

“Friend, an old friend who also owns this place.” you shrug it off as you grab the menu of his hand “He doesn’t charge me so we can drink all we want” you bring your gaze up to Jungkook as you hear him snort

“You really brought me all the way here for free drinks?” he says in disbelief

“Why not?” You shrug your shoulders “Who knows if the book does well or not, I need to save up just in case the royalties are not enough for a living.” you say as you wave your hand for Jimin

“Woah …” he shakes his head in disbelief “You’re a different species Y/N” he groans “A very cheap and stingy one.”

“Hey Hey, you asked for a drink, I’m getting you some. Stop being a dick.” you scold him as finally, Jimin makes his way to you

“Mhmm Who’s this new face I see here?” He teases you eyeing Jungkook who drums his finger on the bar table in front of him

“Jeon Jungkook” you quickly reply and Jimin’s lips form an O shape indicating he knows immediately who he is

“So what would you like me to serve you Jeon Jungkook?” Jimin asks with a flirty smile he usually offers the customers he wants to impress

“What about ... ” he hesitates as he scans through the menu “Some Johnnie”

“Oh, Thank Jesus I brought you here. You would have maxed my credit card at this rate.” you whine as you quickly face Jimin “Just the usual Jiminie. ” you sing song with a smile and thank him as he walks away to prepare your drinks

“Why? You were worried I make you pay for my drink?” He smirks as he turned on his seat to face you

“Isn’t that what you were trying to do?” You scoff in response “obviously I was smarter enough to not fall for your trap.”

“Y/N, ” he sighs as he leans closer to you, as you watch him travel the distance between your bodies “I’m gentleman enough to not allow the girl to pay,” he tilts his head to the side as his smirks deepen “Also you’ll fall for my trap someday, dont worry.” he mutters the words with a haughty tone

You gulp at his suggestive words, despite it not being the first time he openly flirts with you, finding it weird with the context of now being in a club rather than the safe four walls of your office.

"Well you don’t need to impress me Mr Gentleman,” you quickly reply shaking off the momentary tension that arises between you and Jungkook quickly pulls away and Jimin places your drinks in front of you

“Keep your money for the next girl you wanna get into her pants,” you say teasingly as you look around and grab your shot of tequila, immediately gulping it down in one go.

The fluid still rushing down your throat when your eyes double take at the scene. There he is, Taehyung sitting back on the soft and comfortable sofa, the girl draping over his body kissing her way up his neck as he drinks from his glass of alcohol you recognise as a glass of Henney.

That’s his favourite drink, you think as the scene along with the alcohol flooding your blood starts to flash back to a not very foreign memory of the girl riding his thigh in the same position.

You lick your lips as you quickly try to tear your gaze away from him so you don’t fall to the black hole you were trying to avoid all day, reminiscing every moment of your best friend fucking the shit out of that girl.

But then your eyes stop at his dark orbs, which are directly staring back at you. Your mind quickly flashbacks to those suggestive glances he gave your during his erotic action that had your pussy dripping like your whole body needed some release right there and then.

This time, however, his eyes glaze with a tint of something else, something you couldn’t properly read. His thick silver dyed eyebrows knitted into a frown as he parts his lips, perhaps due to the girl’s sinful action on his neck and it takes you all the willpower in your whole body to finally snap your gaze back at Jungkook.

“I gotta go to the loo!” you whisper as you quickly get on your two feet

“I’m gonna order more drinks, the same one for you?” He asks pointing at your shot and you nod, mouthing a quick thanks before making your way to the bathroom, you would be able to find your way to even if you were blind because of how often you have gotten drunk at this place.

You carefully make your way down the small hallway to the bathroom which is hidden at the back of the bar, almost reaching the women’s section when a hand grabs your wrist and pulls you back, pushing you to the nearest wall.

You gasp in the sudden coldness of the stone wall greeting your back, feeling the person’s weight pushing you to the wall and allowing you small to no room to move.

Your head snaps back up at the figure of the guy, with the silver strands of hair covering his forehead messily, The mixture of alcohol and his expensive cologne that usually persisted on your pillows when he came over to sleep at your place for the night hitting your skin.

“Kim Tae … ” you call softly, looking at the guy’s expression contouring in anger “What’s wrong?” you ask dumbfounded

“Am I joke to you?” he asks through a clenched jaw, his eyes burning in dark rage  “Huh?” He’s panting, his eyes travelling between your two dilated pupils as he demands an answer.  You just look back at him, in pure shock as you witness the side of him, you’ve barely seen before.

-

Taehyung sighs for the nth time that morning watching the director presenting his achievement in his very recent business trip, at the tail of the large table.

There is a reason he hates being a part of his dad’s business and these painfully tedious business meetings formed by men, who are mostly in their 40s and 50s, with the exception of him and his brother, make a big part of this reason.

He grabs his phone lazily, scrolling through the notifications as his eyes trace through the bunch of messages he’s received from you

“Tae, I didn’t find you at the club that night? where were you?”

“Is everything alright?"

"Why aren’t you answering my calls?”

"Pick your phone up, I wanna talk to you!"

"Tae, call me when you’re free!"

"Tae Tae? Hello?"

"Earth to Kim Tae, Earth to Kim Tae!"

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TAE?”

“KIM TAEHYUNG, I’LL KILL YOU IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!”

“PICK YOUR FUCKING PHONE BEFORE I COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH!”

“Fine, dont answer me! you’ll regret it once I find you!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T NEED YOUR LAME ASS! DONT EVEN ANSWER ME!”

His heart clenches at the sight of the last angry message, his slender fingers carding through his silver coloured hair. After his impulsive actions with you that night, he decided it was for the best to avoid you for a while until the topic becomes that of memory for both of you, more specifically for him and he can face you again.

His mind flutters to the night from a week before, the memories still fresh like he’s still in amidst that hallway, with you caged across his arms.

“What’s wrong?,” you repeat staring into the hooded eyes of the guy pressing your body to the wall, concern creeping on your expression “What? You’re scaring me with your ugly face Tae.” you chuckle nervously to try and ease the tension but he seems to not take your lead

“I guess it’s all a joke to you-” he mutters but his sentence is interrupted with a familiar voice

“Taehyung”

You both turn to your side, observing Jimin standing there with stern eyes that are directed only at Taehyung.

“What?” Taehyung spits back in an annoyed tone that catches your attention “I need your help with the accounts, one second.” Jimin quickly replies, his eyes still intensely boring into Taehyung’s.

Taehyung hesitates, his hands still firmly pressing you against the wall, a gasp leaving your lips only realizing how firm his hold can get when he loosens his grip and you shift forward towards his chest.

“Fine” he hisses as he glares back at you for a few seconds, biting his lips as if he’s chewing the words that are about to slip out.

“Taehyung, I said I need your help!” Jimin rushes him with an angry tone. You furrow your eyebrows examining Taehyung’s face before bringing your eyes back to Jimin.

“Tae, I think you should go,” you suggest pointing at the guy who’s waiting for Taehyung to react but the guy standing against you don’t have any intentions to move.

“Let’s go,” Jimin says as he grabs Taehyung’s arms and pulls him behind himself while you just stand there and stare at the back side of your two friends drifting away from you.

Jimin pulls the guy behind himself throwing him inside the first empty VIP room he finds before locking the door behind himself.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He shouts back at the silver-haired guy who’s brushing his messy hair off his forehead.

“What?” Taehyung asks in an unfazed tone receiving a mocking scoff from Jimin.

“What? Are you really acting dumb with me?” Jimin frowns in disbelief, examining his best friend “Kim Taheyung, she’s your best friend”

“So what?” Taehyung growls bringing his dark eyes to the guy “Just because she is, it doesn’t mean she can’t be more.”

“Oh yeah?” Jimin mocks in disbelief “So you want her to be more huh? That’s what you want?”

“She’s fucking around with that fuckface from her company” Taehyung snarls through gritted teeth “Why can’t she do the same with me?”

“Do you really want me to answer that question Tae?” Jimin furrows his eyebrows watching the guy avoid his eyes nervously “fine, I’ll answer it for you. Its because you’re the type of guy who’s gone to STD checkups on a more regular basis than visiting your own parents and she-” Jimin sighs, hand carding through his rainbow-dyed hair “she can count the guys she’s slept with on one hand.”

“She’s as pure as virgin mary is what you’re saying” Taehyung nods in agreement “I already know that Jimin, you should be more creative than this old cliche story of bad boys dont fuck with good girls. I already know that by heart.”

“Do you?” Jimin jeers, his eyes widening in amusement “Is that why you’re trying her?”

“What do you wanna hear Jimin?” Taehyung’s dark, vulnerable eyes gaze at the shorter guy who’s staring back at him in rage “I fucking love her-” his eyes wander around as a small sigh leaves his lips “No, I  always fucking loved her. I loved her since the day she pulled my shredded pieces together and forced me to face myself and quit being a fucking coward, hiding behind drugs and alcohol.” Taehyung brings his tear glazed eyes to his friend “Are you happy hearing it?”

“Taehyung you can’t,” Jimin shakes his head “You’ll hurt her and you know it as much as I do”

“I know …” Taehyung sighs, falling down on the soft single sofa as he dips his head into his hands, his voice barely audible as he murmurs “I just fucking lost my mind when I saw her with that guy,” he then brings his head up and faces the guy “Who the fuck is he anyway?”

“Jeon Jungkook, one of the writers at Jung’s company” Jimin replies in a quiet tone and his friend scoffs “He’s been hitting on her for a couple of months now from what I know,” Jimin adds the extra information in an attempt to hint his friend at the possibility of you with another man.

Taehyung clenches his jaw, the fine line on his jaw protruding as the thoughts of you and Jungkook flashing in his mind.

“Get yourself together before you come out,” Jimin walks closer to the guy and presses a warm grip on his shoulder “Think about a creative explanation too, she’s not like the dumb girls you sleep with. You gotta give her something she believes.”

Taehyung sighs leaning back against the headrest of the sofa in the quiet room as the door closes behind Jimin and he’s left on his own and the silence that creeps in the four walls of the room.

After his eye-opening conversation with Jimin, he decided that he was too drunk to come up with a good explanation for his childish jealousy over you and your colleague. So he did what every other emotionally immature guy his age would do, he started avoiding you.

Well, one could argue that the move was even dumber than giving a vague explanation to you. It could perhaps spark even more suspicion in your mind that something is really going on but he couldn’t come up with a better plan so he just went with what his guts told him to do.

His attempt, however, was barely successful as you guys basically were all over each other’s life at this point. Your favourite place outside the office you practically lived your life in, was the club he owned where you downed a concerning amount of alcohol, your system could barely handle.

So he locked himself in his apartment, knowing you’d never visit him without letting him know first because of the number of times you walked on him while he was fucking a random girl.

He winces at the thoughts, realizing how he’s been basically labelling himself as a fuckboy in your eyes, practically all the years you’ve known him. All the times you visited him at his apartment only to be greeted by the sight of him boning a girl.

It is practically idiotic of him to even imagine that you would accept him as a possible significant other, considering you’d be one of the few people who know exactly how many girls he’s been with.

His eyes travel from his phone to the director that concludes his talk with a couple of flattering sentences for the Chairman of the company which happens to be his dad.

he has to stop his pupils from rolling to the back of his head, thinking the middle-aged director probably badmouths his whole family in his late-night drunk conversations with his colleagues, while sucking his dad’s dick in this meeting room.

The meeting is over and the Directors greet them one by one, their obvious flattering greetings for his brother and very reluctant greetings to him not going unnoticed from his observing eyes.

He is known to be good for nothing son of Kim Corporation, being famous to be on the list of useless rich kids who basically contribute nothing to their family business.

So it wasn’t much of a surprise for him to see the directors treat him with such underwhelming attitude, considering he’ll be not much of a use to them anyway.

“Both of you, come to my room!” his dad orders sternly, before leaving the two young men in the meeting room, the room now completely empty after everyone leaves.

“I shouldn’t have come,” Taehyung sighs in frustration, ruffling his messy hair as he grabs a bottle of water from the table and looks at his brother “I mean honestly no one really cares if I’m here or not.”

“Dad cares,” his brother replies in a soft tone “and I care, so you’re attending the directors meeting until we are here.” he then glances over the guy before asking “You alright? you look a bit out of it, Tae?”

“It’s alright,” Taehyung replies, feeling slightly taken off guard by his brother’s question “Just some personal shit.”

Seokjin isn’t always indifferent to him, but the age difference between them hasn’t allowed the two brothers to be super close to each other. He doesn’t blame Seokjin for it. after all, he was taking care of all the responsibilities since forever and he was always thankful for it. But still, it was quite hard for him to open up to the older, considering they barely had much one on one time growing up.

“By the dark circles under your eyes and your unwashed hair I can tell its girl issues,” the older suggest, watching Taehyung tense on his spot at the remark “I’ve been there, dont worry! I know how it usually goes.”

“You’ve had-” Taehyung asks with a frown on his face “lady issues?”

“Of course,” Seokjin laughs at his surprised expression “What did you think? that I’m just a heartless jerk?”

“No It's just that-” Taehyung scratches the back of his head “You dont seem the type to be into that shit!”

“What shit?” Seokjin raises an eyebrow “Love?” he asks mischievously

Taehyung clears his throat, blushing like a little kid being who is caught doing something embarrassing “Yeah, Whatever that shit is called.”

“Oh dear,” Seokjin shakes his head watching his younger brother “poor girl, If I ever meet her I’ll tell her to run.” he scoffs, watching his brother grimace at his remark “let��s go, dad is waiting!” he says before leaving the room ahead of him.

-

You press the green button beside Taehyung’s number for the 100th time that week, pressing the device to your ear as you murmured “Pick your phone up, you little bitch!” under your breath

The phone continues to ring for a few more times before sending you to the nasal voice of a woman asking you to leave a voice message. Well, the first few times you did, you left angry voice messages on his phone, screaming at the phone for him to stop ignoring you but you have given up by now.

You reach for your bag on your desk and push the phone in it as you whisper “Fine, ignore me all you want. I’ll just barge into your house and confront your ugly face by force.” you mutter the angry words to your computer screen as you quickly save your drafts when you hear Jungkook’s voice.

“Should we go for a drink tonight?” He stops by your desk, looking at your sour expression  "Having a bit of slump?“ he asks lightly, not realizing he’s playing with the edge of the knife considering how angry you are "I could probably help-”

“Piss off Jeon,” you hiss, throwing an angry glare at him “I dont have the nerves to entertain you right now.”

“Jesus,” he mutters, frowning at your heated tone “I was just trying to be helpful, you dont need to be so aggressive all the time.”

“No thank you, Mr Jeon,” you face him after grabbing your handbag and standing across him “I haven’t changed my mind and I dont wanna fuck you.” you say in a calm tone complemented by a fake smile.

“Seriously?!” he scoffs, leaning closer as you take a step back unconsciously, caging you between his body and the desk “After all this, you still think I just wanna get into your pants?”

“I …” you breath out, you expression softening as you realize perhaps you overreacted a bit “I’m sorry, I haven’t had the best day. I shouldn’t have vented my anger on you.”

He’s taken back by your apology, you can tell by how his dark eyes soften into those round, soft orbs that sometimes, although you desperately want to deny has you melting for them.

“It’s alright,” he takes a tiny step back, but still close enough to be face to face with you “My offer is still on, do you wanna have a drink tonight?” he hesitates before sighing “It’s on me, you dont have to take me to your friend’s club for free drinks.”

“Did you hate it that much?” You furrow your eyebrows at his remark

“I mean-” he hesitates before muttering “He was onto us the whole time we were there, It was a bit awkward.”

“What?” you laugh at his statement “No he wasn’t! Taehyung is not like that, he’s never the type to be counting how many drinks I have there.”

“Oh Gosh, ” he sighs with a mocking tone “You’re a bit dense, aren’t you?”

“Jeon Jungkook-” you hiss but he’s fast to interrupt you

“You didn’t answer me?” he raises an eyebrow “Drink? tonight? Yes or No?”

“fine,” your roll your eyes at his impatient tone “I’ll save you from wasting time, finding a chick to drink with if you’re that desperate!”

“That’s so nice of you Y/N,” he nods as he leans closer and licks his lips seductively “Do you also take responsibility for my other needs?”

Your jaw drops in disappointment, realizing men are looking for one thing after all, “Changed my mind,” you reply with a forced smile “Go find a chick to meet all of your needs, It’ll be easier for both of us.”

You walk past him when he grabs your wrist and stops you midway

“8 PM, the bar across the office!” he says in a firm tone as if he’s implying that he won’t accept any rejection

“I’ll think about it,” you reply, refusing to give in till the end as you leave the office.

You get into the uber you called a few minutes ago, apologizing to the young man for making him wait, cursing Jungkook under your breath as you hand him the address to Taehyung’s place.

It’s been a week now; since the night Taehyung stopped you in the hallway leading to the bathroom you frequently visited in the club. He was looking with a displeased expression and as you started to recognize the type of anger glazing his eyes, you grew even more concerned.

It was the same type of rage you witnessed once before when you sat there in Taehyung’s living room while his dad lectured him with venom in his voice about how disappointed he is.

He then went on to scold Taehyung for living like scum and hanging out with beggars like you.

You sat there, barely feeling any anger for the older man, at this point in life you were old enough to know a thing called the gap between rich and poor and how people from the higher socioeconomic status perceive those like you.

His dad was a dick but what concerned you the most was Taehyung glaring at his dad’s direction while panting heavily in anger, looking like he might charge towards him any second.

Your prediction turned out to be right when the guy shifted on his spot, about to do exactly as you guessed but your hands were quick to cover his thigh, urging him to contain himself by pressing as hard as you could on his quads muscles.

You remember this expression very well because what followed after his dad left his apartment was him screaming the anger he felt for the older man followed by the two of your drinking until you could barely speak.

When you both had enough alcohol in your system and your words started to become more of a slur than a clear speech, Taehyung cried in your chest and apologised for all his dad said to you while you reassured him that you were fine. The next day both you decided to forget the night.

But it was different now, there was no involvement of his dad and the only person in the equation he could be angry at that night was you. because you somehow managed to piss him off enough to bring out the worst you could ever imagine out of him.

Your heart sinks as you remember once again what happened after your discontinued conversation which was interrupted by Jimin. These days you never see Taehyung in the club at nights, barely receiving any replies to your calls and texts.

Although you decided to not read much into it and try to give him time, you started to become more suspicious that he’s avoiding you as he continued ignoring your calls. And today, you finally lost it.

You were looking at the edited version of the scene you’ve written based on him, every line reminding you the buried anxious feeling you had about losing him. He’s been your best friend for years now, and even the thought of losing him over a mistake that you weren’t even aware of committing it, was suffocating for you.

The car pulls over and you quickly get off the backseat, greeting the driver in a rushed manner as you run in the apartment complex. The old security greets you with his usual friendly tone but you’re too anxious to return the favour as you press the button on the side of the lift.

After a few seconds, the door opens and you get in, pressing the number that leads to Taehyung’s flat a couple of times as if it will help get you there any faster.

You grab your phone and attempt to call him one last time, you’ve already decided to barge into his flat even if he doesn’t reply but it doesn’t hurt to try and be respectful of his privacy before you say fuck it and force yourself into his personal space.

You’re not surprised when the phone sends you to voicemail, considering this has been the pattern of you attempting to contact him for the past few days.

You stand in front of his flat, inhaling air into your lungs as you feel all the anger and emotions that have been piled up in your heart finally get to your head as you punch the passcode in the key slot and twist the doorknob.

“Don't you dare blame me for invading your privacy when I fucking warned you Kim Tae-” you start to rant your way in with a raised voice as you throw your shoes off your feet on the side, bringing your gaze up only to see Taehyung with another unfamiliar, older guy sitting in his living room.

“H-Hi!” you force the greeting, suddenly all your anger disappearing upon seeing the two men

“Y/N,” he calls, his tone hoarse and breathy “What are you doing here?” he stands up walking to you

Your eyes travel between him and the guy who’s drinking from his pint of beer, eyeing you from head to toe as you reply “You kept ignoring my calls,” your eyes are still at the guy who smiles with himself, taking a bigger gulp of his beer upon hearing your voice “So I came here.” You finally bring your focus back on Taehyung as you abruptly ask “who’s that?”

“His brother,” the guy finally stands up and waves at you “Glad you asked. I thought I’m gonna have to sit here awkwardly the whole time. I’m Seokjin.” he then eyes his brother with a playful smile “and who are you?”

“Y/N-” you mutter but your self-introduction quickly comes to an end after a word when Taehyung grabs your arm and pushes you to the door

“Look, I’m actually busy now. I’ll call you and we can talk later!” he says as he reaches for the doorknob, while you repulsively move towards the door

“Tae, I think she can join us,” Seokjin calls for him and you look back to see if the guy is serious about his proposition “I mean she must be pretty close to you, to know your passcode. She might be able to help with your issue.”

“Help?” You quickly perk at the words as you pull your arms out of Taehyung’s grip and step closer to where his brother is sitting “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Taehyung says gripping your wrist this time and pulling you back towards the door “It’s nothing you should be concerned with-”

“He’s getting married.” Seokjin declares and your eyes are about to pop out of socket as they travel between him and Taehyung.

“What?” you shriek with lost eyes “W-When … How’s that even possible?” you ask as you shake your head in disbelief “Kim Tae? Getting married?” you laugh hysterically, trying to cover up the sinking feeling in your heart. 

You’re not even sure why you’re feeling so out of breath hearing about your best friend’s plans for marriage “Is that a joke?” you ask with a mocking tone

“Does he look like he’s joking?” Taehyung frowns at your response

“So you’re telling me, you,” you hesitate to point at his chest “Kim Taehyung is getting married?” you laugh again before pausing to look at him “Its must be a  joke , right?”

Taehyung sighs as he releases his grip on your arm before throwing himself at the nearest couch, shutting his eyes closed. You realize at this point, that perhaps, it’s not a joke after all so you quickly sit across him and look at his brother.

“But he’s not ready!” you protest in a rushed tone, not even considering the implications of your word before his brother speaks out.

“Mhmm Interesting,” he nods as he eyes his younger brother “And why do you say so?”

“Because-” you start the sentence, watching Tae bringing his gaze up onto you as you clumsily make the sentence “Because he’s still immature and-” you bat your eyelids trying to think of the next word “and he’s a fuckboy. he messes around with girls and he’s not the type to commit to one girl. How can he ever be bound to one person by marriage?”

You dont realize how the words that are leaving your lips carelessly could be interpreted as you’re saying them, but only come to your senses when Taehyung’s eyes darken.

“So that’s what you think of me huh?” his husky voice rings in your ear and you gulp, feeling intimidated by his tone for the first time in your years of friendship “That I’m immature, that I can’t commit to girls and I just mess around with them huh?” He scoffs, his head falling back as he shuts his eyes closed, making the bulging vein on his neck come to view.

“I mean- I, I-” you stutter as you try to form a response, eyeing his older brother who’s watching the scene in silence “I’m not totally wrong, am I?”

“No,” he nods, his eyes still shut and his voice lowered an octave “You’re right!” he nods again with a dark smirk plastered on the corner of his lips as he brings his gaze to you “But that’s not any of your concern as I said. So why don’t you mind your own fucking business?”

“T-Tae,” you call softly, your eyes glazing with tears that are threatening to fall down your cheek. It's been a week since you’ve seen him, you’ve missed him so much that all you want to do is to hug his stupid gigantic chest and feel at ease again. but instead, you are sitting across him being told that you should mind your own business right into your face “I … you’ve been avoiding me … and I just wanted-”

“Stop invading my personal space,” he spits back, his voice filled with sharp venom that cuts right through your heart “And you’re right, I’m immature, a fuckboy, a scum as my everyone else say. But that’s not any of your concern,” his jaw protrudes as he pauses before adding “That’s my future wife’s concern and she’s apparently fine with it.”

“F-Future wife?” You repeat, the words somehow translating to the fact that you will lose your best friend very soon “You’re really getting married? With who?” You ask in disbelief

“The daughter of JH Group,” its Seokjin’s voice that responds you this time and your gaze drifts away from your best friend “she really likes him,” he suggests, a playful smile fluttering on his lips that for some reason makes you want to punch him right there “I guess she doesn’t mind his past with other girls.”

I don’t mind his past, you scream in your head but you quickly have to shake the thoughts off and scold yourself for thinking of such an absurd thing. You have to blink rapidly to stop the tears from rolling down your eyes.

“Good,” you nod flashing a forced smile to his brother “I was just worried,” you dig your teeth onto your bottom lip “Watching him play with girls like playing cards, changing from one to another so fast because he got bored of them easily had me worried, wondering which stupid girl would ever want to stay with him.” you say through gritted eyes, your gaze piercing into Taehyung’s dark and furious orbs as you stand up “Good for you, I better go before I’m late for my date with Jungkook.”

You’re not sure why you include that extra information about your so-called date with Jungkook; probably one of the many questions that sparked during this conversation along with others like why you were so heated over Taehyung’s marriage and why you felt jealous of this girl you didn’t even know just because she was Taehyung’s soon to be wife.

You shut the door behind yourself after bidding Seokjin a polite goodbye, leaving the two guys on their own.

What you dont know is that the two remaining men sit there, conversing about no other person but you.

“That’s it?” Seokjin asks the guy who has his head between his hands, falling low against his body “You’re not gonna even go after her?”

“Hyung,” he breaths out facing the older guy with rage “With all due respect, can you please shut the fuck up?” he’s panting, his nose flaring with air that he exhales every time “Why the fuck did you tell her about the marriage?” he scoffs , his gaze wandering on the empty couch that you were sitting on a few seconds ago “To see how she belittles me and calls me a scum?”

“You’re an idiot Tae,” the older shakes his head in disapproval “You both are.” he sighs as he stands up from his seat, placing his pint of beer on the glass tea table “I did what I could, but I can’t make two blind people see eye to eye when they both refuse to even open their eyes." 

he says as he walks closer to the frustrated guy "Open your eyes, or you’ll have to watch her sleep in another man’s arms. That’s all the advice I can give you.”  he says before walking to the door and leaving Taehyung on his own.

-

“Hey,” you flash a tipsy smile which has the guy furrow his eyebrows as he gets closer to you “sit down!” you offer the seat beside you to him

“Are you planning to kill me?” he asks in a suspicious tone

“Not today, Jeon!” you chuckle and watch his expression contouring in more confusion “Maybe some other time. for tonight I need a drinking buddy.”

“Are you sure?” He flinches at your strange behaviour as he continues “You’re acting really weird.”

“I’m trying to be nice,” you roll your eyes at him as you fill up his glass with the bottle Johnnie  you ordered earlier “Your favourite right?”

He nods, gulping the shot down as he eyes you carefully “Spit it out, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you gulp a gentle sip of your glass “I just had an argument with my friend.”

“Kim Taehyung?” he asks and you look at him in surprise

“How do you know?” you ask, tensing at how easily he can read you

“He was giving me death glares the whole night,” he smirks as he turns around to face you on his side “Are you sure you guys are just friends?”

“Y-Yeah,” you nod, feeling slightly uncomfortable about the question, after your earlier conversation with Taehyung and his brother you are still baffled about your confusing emotions about him and his marriage “why?”

“He seems to like you,” he shrugs “I mean if he was really just your friend, he would have never cockblocked you like he did that night?”

“Wait, What?” you shake your head at his statement “he never cockblocked me?”

“He was literally watching us for the first half an hour I got there,” he smirks looking at your surprised expression “I guess you have things to clear out with your "friend”.“

You consider Jungkook’s words for a few seconds before quickly shaking it off with a bitter smile "There is no need. He’s getting married soon, that should be enough to clear things out.” you reply and Jungkook raises an eyebrow

“Interesting,” he nods, tapping his shot at yours “Okay then.” he shrugs indifferent and gulps the shot down “To your friend’s marriage.”

-

You enter the familiar space of the club you visit almost every night, greeting Jimin who’s cleaning the shelves filled with different bottles of alcoholic drinks.

“Hey Jiminie,” you call for him, catching his attention as he looks at you and flashes soft smile “How’s it going?”

“You’re early tonight!” the voices out with a grin

“I thought maybe I can find Tae if I come early,” you reply in a hesitant tone, avoiding his piercing gaze which is trying to figure you out “Is he here?”

“He … ” he starts, hesitantly glancing his way up at the VIP rooms upstairs and you immediately know you finally found your prey as you make your way to the stairs

“No, wait-”

You hear Jimin calling for you from behind but you can barely stop yourself from barging into each room at the second floor, checking in to every single one of them, one after another to find him.

It’s been 3 days since you talked at his place, 10 days since he’s been ignoring your calls and texts and you were not having it anymore. If it took another confrontation and an argument to come to closure, you were prepared to go all the way.

It’s the 5th room you open the door to when you find him, half sitting on a couch while a girl in her lingerie’s is kneeling against his thighs, pleasing him.

His eyes are shut, resembling the way he closed them the day you argued in his flat, droplets of sweat running down the side of his neck while his plump lips part and wanton moans leave his lips.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, holding onto the girl’s hair firmly as he orders “Deeper, suck me deeper.”

The girl complies and you lick your lips, watching her gag on his girth, this time not very surprised by his ridiculous size since you’ve seen it all before. You have to leave, you clearly tell yourself that in your mind but still your feet are stuck to the floor, your eyes not tearing themselves apart from the erotic scene of your best friend receiving pleasure from another girl.

You dig your teeth onto your bottom lips as you remember the weekend you spent at home, bringing yourself to orgasm again and again just by the aid of your newly arrived vibrator and the dirty erotic scenes you’ve had saved in your memory from watching your best friend fuck another girl.

You just blamed it on the time of the month, your ovulation, the fact that you missed Taehyung and also was immensely pissed at him that he was the key to your delicious highs all weekend.

But you can no longer deny it, you are thirsting over your best friend and his seductively large dick. You bite your lips, feeling a drip of arousal running down your thighs as you confess to your sin in your mind.

You gasp as Taehyung suddenly parts his lids and bring them to you, pupils, dilating in surprise as he catches sight of you. but what follows causes your eyeballs to practically popping out of the socket.

“Y/N-” he moans in a whiny tone, holding onto the girl’s head as he thrusts his hip forward into her throat “Fuck, Y/N …” he calls again, throwing his head back “Its feels so good, Fuck …” he sighs, shutting his eyes closed again.

Your eyes travel to the girl and that’s your epiphany, you wanna be her. you wanna be on your knees, with your lips around Taehyung’s girth, deep throating and gagging on his ginormous cock until he calls your name like how he is now.

The rush of arousal drips down your core as blood races up your cheek and you finally come clean with yourself and realize you should no longer stay there. You turn on your heel, finally tearing your gaze from the sensual scene before rushing out of the room and down the stairs.

“Y/N … what happened?” Jimin asks in concern, his eyes examining your crimson tinted face

“N…Nothing …” you say panting heavily as you practically ran down the stairs “I gotta go, see you later.” you manage to form the words clumsily before you rush out of the club.

-

It's been officially two weeks since your quarrel with Taehyung. If for the first ten days he was the only one guilty of avoiding the situation, now it was on your side too. After practically finding yourself drooling over your best friend’s cock in another girl’s mouth, you decided you really need to get your life together.

Your first defence mechanism was to bring up excuses, it’s been long since you were in a relationship, its been even longer since you put your genital anywhere near another human being. So you assumed you were just confused and flustered by the carnal desires.

There is still that turn of your stomach at the thought of Taehyung marrying the girl you secretly hated even before meeting her, that was kind of nagging you to prove you otherwise. but you are stronger to let it sink into your thoughts and make their destructive effects.

You decide to organize your room on your day off, the whole organization giving you both time and venue to organize your mind at the same time. you aren’t even surprised when you spend the whole morning cleaning the room you basically leave in the morning only to come back late at night, intoxicated by alcohol to sleep in.

You sigh as you pull out all of your drawers, emptying the content of each of them to vacuum the month old dust that has accumulated in it. sitting in the middle of the pile of notebooks and journals you find your photo album which contains all your memories growing up.

You decide a walk down memory lane would be a good idea for a mundane day like this so you flip through the pages, smiling at how silly you look in each picture.

Your finger stops flipping through the page when there is a picture of you and Taehyung, both in your school uniform making faces to the camera with your graduation certificates in hand.

You dont even realize you’re crying, the wet trail of tear down your cheek is your only clue to the emotions pouring out on a physical level.

“Idiot,” you whisper touching the guy’s tanned skin in the image “I missed you.”

your attention diverts to your phone on your side, glancing at the text notification on the screen from Jung.

“Hey everyone, dont forget the party tonight. We’re all gathering at EVE, the bar across the office. dont forget everyone can bring their partner/significant other. See you all there!”

You sigh, remembering you committed to attending the party that Jung decided to throw to celebrate your new book with everyone else. your eyes glaze over the word partner/ significant other and you heave a sigh. These are the times you hated being single the most.

Jungkook is your momentary option, but considering how much of a big ego he is, you would never bring yourself down to ask him first. it is already late and you have to come up with an idea.

you scroll through your contacts, considering every guy friend you have. Jimin is your go-to option but you know in these situations but you know he works at the club tonight and since its weekend, he won’t be able to leave the place to the inexperienced part-timers either.

you fingers stop scrolling at Taehyung’s name, gulping nervously as your finger hovers over his name when suddenly the phone goes dark and then his name flashes on the screen along with the ring of the phone.

“Hello?” you immediately answer the phone, cursing yourself for appearing so desperate when his voice echoes in the device

“Hey…” he greets awkwardly as he shifts over the phone “H..How are yo-”

“Do you wanna go to a party with me?” you ask in a rushed tone, interrupting him midway through his greeting

“O-Ok …” he replies hesitantly “when is it?” he leads you on to your surprise

“Tonight!” you say nervously as you shift the phone to your other ear, your gaze fixed on the guy’s younger version in the image “Are you busy?”

“N-No … I … I mean-” he breaths out nervously as he murmurs “Its fine, I’ll pick you up then.”

“Okay, see ya.” you disconnect the phone before rushing to the shower to get ready.

The office parties are one place you need to show that you are more than the nerd author who spends her days stuck onto her chair writing fictions. So you usually put a lot more effort than the dark pencil skirt and white dress shirt you usually sport at work.

But this time, you’re not sure why but you’re feeling all giddy inside, like a teenager going on her first date who wants to look good to the boy of her fantasies.

You spend another half an hour staring into your vanity as you try to perfect your makeup and eyeliners, the masses of Q tips and wet wipes messily spread over the table indicating your failure.

You sigh in relief as the final touch of lipstick comes to your lips, and you check the time on your phone realizing you’ve got ready just on time.

A simple text from Taehyung, saying he’s waiting for you downstairs has you rushing down your hallway, with your handbag and heels in each hand. you quickly slide into your heels before finally leaving the house.

Taehyung is in his bright red Audi, which usually has eyes drawn to it, just like its owner. You feel nervous, something in your tummy turns when brings his gaze from his phone up to you as he hears your heels click on the ground.

You hold your breath in your chest, the momentary eye contact fluttering the memories of the last time you saw those dark orbs looking back at you.

“Hey!” you pant as you get in the passenger’s side, reaching for the seatbelt when he leans in and pulls it for you

“Hey!” he murmurs in his deep voice, his warm breath hitting your neck as he shifts away and fastens the seat belt “Where is the place?”

“EVE, the bar in front of the office.” you quickly mutter as you search for your GPS but he presses his hand on yours to stop you

“I think I know it,” he mutters and you gulp, feeling his touch on your hand.

You can’t believe you’re craving for the simplest touch from him only after two weeks. You wonder if spending time with anyone for so long would make you so needy and craving for their existence as you craved for Tae

“How have you been?” he asks, his eyes fixed on the road

“Good, pretty good,” you reply, proud of yourself for not stuttering your answer

“How’s the book going?” he asks, glancing at your for a moment before drifting his attention back on the road

“Good, we’re due to publish it next month,” you hesitate before you add “Tonight’s party is held because of the book.”

“Mhmm,” he hums in response, nodding his head “You should have told me, I would have brought a gift or something,” he says as he purses his lips into a tiny pout.

It takes all your willpower to not lean in and kiss that tiny pout on his lips but you manage to hold back and mutter “Its fine,” you chuckle awkwardly as you add “I mean, you were my muse, so I should be the one buying you something.”

He takes his eyes from the road, glancing at you for a second while having the steering skillfully controlled without having any view of the road ahead, his only view your anxious expression.

“Muse?” he asks, narrowing his eyes “Right!” he nods, his tongue poking to lick his lips as his aura changes into his usual mischievous mode “I forgot I was the reason you finished the book.”

“Yeah,” you agree with him “I kind of owe the publication of this book to you,” you confess honestly

“And as long as I remember you never paid me back,” he says in a sassy tone, while he reverses parks his sports car into one of the spots allocated in front of the bar.

You ignore his words, reaching for your seatbelt when he leans in, his face a few inches away from you as he holds onto the hand your trying to unfasten your seatbelt with.

“So,” he hesitates, his dark eyes piercing into yours “how are you gonna pay me back?”

“H..How do you want me to pay you back?” you ask as you bat your eyelids anxiously “I mean- I mean it’d be ridiculous for me to pay you back in money.”

“right, It can’t be money but there should be another way right?” he asks, a faint smirk glazing on his lips when the click of the seatbelt echoes in the silence of the car and the fabric is pulled back into its place in a fast pace “I’ll think about it,” he says simply before getting off the car.

The party is as boring as it always been. a bunch of colleagues who absolutely have no interest in each other’s life, showing up with their significant others, only to prove others that somehow their life is more than what they do in the company which is perhaps not even true.

You can sense the eyes of the ladies and even some guys on Taehyung from the all over the room. it wasn’t the first time the silver-haired guy attracted attention in a social gathering like this so you were somehow used to having people swooning over his beauty.

But for some reason, you feel your throat going dry every time he greets another lady with his suggestive and seductive words. The guy has a big sign reading “I have the best dick in the room” plastered all over his confident tone and expressions and the fact that you know that is true anger you even more.

Who are you kidding, you were practically one of those girls who wanted to be served by his dick a few days ago and you’re not even sure if you’ve changed your mind since or not.

So you have no right to judge when one of your colleagues who come alone to the party starts to engage him in a heated conversation about the new clothes line released by Gucci which Taehyung’s body was adorned by.

You quietly walk away from the two, walking to the bartender as you ask for a tequila, reminiscing all the times you’ve asked Jimin for one. You miss him, considering you’ve met the guy at Taehyung’s club more often than your own parents.

You down the tequila feeling suddenly down about the whole situation you put yourself in. Was this book even worth it? you wonder as you glance back at the silver-haired guy who’s seducing yet another girl for the night.

Maybe if you weren’t aware of how good he dicks his girls down, if that night you refused to cave in to the temptations of beating Jungkook, if you just wrote the piece from a text reference or something … maybe then your feelings was never ignited for your best friend. Maybe now you wouldn’t be feeling the turn in your tummy from the sight of him flirting with other girls. or that sinking feeling in your heart every time you remember that he’ll be married soon.

“I was waiting for your call!” Jungkook orders a shot for himself glancing over at your best friend before muttering “But I guess you had someone else to come with.”

you glance at your side, hearing Jungkook’s voice, a heavy sigh leaving your chest as your reply “I was waiting for yours.”  at this point you dont even care if you place your ego aside, you’re too tipsy to keep your head high.

“We’re both quite thick-headed, aren’t we?” He scoffs at your response “That’s why we’ve been breathing on each other’s neck for two years in that office and yet …” he takes a sip of his glass of Johnnie “none of us have the balls to do anything.”

“I assumed you’d have the balls,” you raise an eyebrow, the alcohol dissolving in your blood giving you extra courage “I guess not much is happening down there, Jeon.” you motion down at his crotch with your head

“You’re so fucking cheeky all the time … ” he inhales as he takes a step closer to you “I bet that smart mouth of yours would look so good around my cock,” he whispers the filthy words and you have to take a moment to digest the fact that he just suggested such filthy thing in a public place like this.

“Why dont we try?” you challenge him and this time you take a step closer “I’d love to see if you actually have any balls.”

He smirks at your play on words, clenching his jaw as his eyes darken in pure lust “the bathroom at our 3 o'clock, be there in 5 minutes."

he doesn’t allow you to question his proposition for a second time, as he turns on his heel and makes his way to the location he just notified you about.

You take your time, downing another shot since what you were about to do needed a bit more alcohol courage than you already had. You’ve never done public before but for some reason, with the jealousy and frustration blinding your vision, you found the idea extremely appealing.

You place the glass shot before turning on your heels and nervously making your way to the male bathroom that Jungkook disappeared to earlier. To your utter surprise, no one is around and you make your way inside without embarrassingly caught red-handed.

After a quick knock, the door opens and Jungkook yanks you in the small cubicle, pressing his lips on your as he pushes you to the wooden door.

You impatiently reach for his belt, loosening the leather material before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants all in a few seconds.

"Impatient huh?” He breathes out, watching you focus your attention on his crotch as your lower his pants down, dropping to your knee.

“It’s not like we have much time,” you spit back with a frown, keeping your gaze at him as you lower his boxer on his thighs.

You gulp, your eyes slowly drifting down to his toned muscles, wondering how the hell he manages to be so muscular and fit considering he spends most his time sitting on his desk like you.

“I guess you do have balls,” you point out mockingly as you glance up, watching him scoff at your remark

“Are you just gonna examine my balls or you wanna do something about it?” He raises an eyebrow

“Of course …” you reach to grab a fistful of him, pumping his dick to get the blood rushing in his manhood, watching his muscles contract and relax against your hand “I’m gonna show you my balls now,” you say before leaning in and enveloping him between your lips.

“Fuck,” he writes, his head falling back as he thrusts his length even more in your mouth “It feels even better than what I imagined.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his words, thinking exactly how many times the guy imagined you in the current position to have come up with a certain expectation like that.

He’s not as gigantic as Taehyung, you realize within the first few pumps of his cock in your mouth, but he is good in his own league. It doesn’t take long before his hand grips onto strands of your hair, pushing himself further in your throat and your gag reflex starts to get in the way.

“Shit,” he clenches his jaw as he brings his gaze down to you “I need more, take me more Y/N.”

You slack your jaw and ease your throat to allow the guy in even more, as your fondle with his balls at the same time to amplify his pleasure.

“God YES!” He cries as he fucks your throat “You take me so well baby, its feel like heaven.”

The praising words encourage you to move your head faster while using your free hand to hold onto the guy’s iron thighs as a handle. Jungkook picks up your attempt and fastens the snap of his own hip in and out of your mouth and he reaches his high.

“FUCK Y/N … ” he calls in a needy tone “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum in your mouth baby,” he warns and you give him a nod of approval, Jungkook releasing a big spurt of his cum down your throat.

His hip stutters and he slows down before completely pulling out and quickly grabbing your wrist to pull you up onto your feet.

“Fuck,” he voices out “That was-” he tries to form the words but instead he leans in and kisses your lips, tasting his own cum in your tongue.

As you shut your eyes close in the kiss, you can’t help but see Taehyung’s dark orbs glaring your way. a rush of guilt fills your heart, thinking he’s probably out there in the boring party you brought him to, while you’re fucking your coworker in the male bathroom.

“Jungkook …” you gasp as you pull back, nervously shifting your gaze as you  mutter “I should get myself fixed before anyone comes.” you quickly turn around to unlock the door when his voice stops you

“before anyone comes?” His dark voice echoes in your ear as he adds “Are you worried your "friend”, Taehyung,  sees you with my cum all over your lips? “ he whispers against your ear as he leans closer to you, his chest pressing against your back.

You furrow your eyebrows, sensing a tint of evil in his voice, but for now, all you were concerned with was to leave this cubicle and clean your cum covered lips.

So you open the door of the bathroom and step out, bringing your head up to face the mirror only to see your best friend standing there with his hands across his chest, glaring at you as he rests his back on the tiled wall

"Tae …” you call for him, voice shaking at the thought of him hearing all the filthy things you’ve been doing with Jungkook a few seconds ago “W..What are you doing he-”

“I know what I want as payback for being your muse,” he says through gritted teeth as he points at the closed door of the cubicle where Jungkook is in behind you “I’ll have what he had!” he says in a demanding tone and your eyes widen in surprise.

-

You glance over at your friend whose eyes are fixed on the road. After your embarrassing confrontation in the bathroom, followed by his bizarre request, he left you on your own in there.

You proceeded to fix yourself up in the bathroom mirror, not even bothering to bid Jungkook a goodbye as your only goal at this point was to leave this place and all memories associated with it behind.

So here you are now, sitting in your friend’s sports car, driving to God knows where.

You bite your lips nervously upon seeing his well-defined eyebrows furrowing close together. He seems pissed, you can tell by the silent treatment he’s been giving you all night at the party.

He even had the audacity to flirt with every girl who was on her own, completely ignoring the fact that he was supposed to be your so-called “partner” after interrupting your session with Jungkook.

You scoff at the thought, which immediately draws his attention, his hollow eyes travelling momentarily from the road to you. You gulp quickly looking away, not bearing to watch his angry eyes.

No matter how many years its been since you’ve known him, you feel your blood running cold when he gives you those angry glares. He is intimidating, no matter how much you deny it with yourself or him.

The car pulls over and you glance over at the sight of his apartment complex coming to your view, Taehyung stopping just in front of the lobby as the security waves for him.

you watch as he gets off the passenger side, and you have no other choice but to follow as he hands the car key to his security. Your rushed footsteps follow after him inside the lobby, watching him press the elevator button while tapping the front of his shoe on the marble floor.

As you stop across him and attempt to ask what you’re doing here, the lift’s door opens and he steps in. You hesitate to watch him from the outside as he presses the button to his flat.

The door proceeds to close between you when he quickly presses the button and gives you an unimpressed look

”What?” He raises an eyebrow “Are you coming or not?”

You feet unconsciously step in upon his questioning and the door closes behind you. You totally lose all trail of your thoughts, and the questions you were gonna ask, just watching the digit on the lift increasing dumbfoundedly.

The lift stops with the sound of a bell and your best friend steps out. You follow after him silently like a kid who is waiting for her punishment, knowing very well there is something coming up with his angry demeanour.

Taehyung walks in the kitchen which is across the entrance, immediately reaching for a bottle of beer and snaps it open before pressing it against his lips and gulping half the bottle while he glances at you.

you push your shoes to the side, entering the familiar place while making a momentary eye contact with him which makes things even more awkward between the two of you.

”You’re not gonna give me one!?” You chuckle lightly pointing at his fridge trying to ease the mood

“You already had enough drinks for your limit,” he says unimpressed as he takes another sip “5 shots of tequila, I wonder if that’s why you were sucking dick in the bathroom.”

“Taehyung-“ you wince with furrowed eyebrows, suddenly feeling defensive about his statement

”anyways,” he shrugs it off, glancing away as he mutters “I already said what I want, it’s up to you.” He declares as he stares back at you with waiting eyes

“What-“ you part your lips but then gasp, mouth wide open at the realization “Were you serious!?”

“You dont have to do it,” he quickly replies in a rushed tone, raising his shoulder in a quick shrug “I never did it for something in return anyway.”

You hesitate, waiting for him to break that serious expression he’s wearing on his face any second and tell you its all a joke. But he doesn’t, instead, he just takes another big gulp of his bottle of beer, his Adam’s apple moving between the toned muscles of his neck.

”If you’re still on your words, get in my room and think of your safe word,” he instructs simply as if it’s not weird at all “If not, I’ll drop you off at your place.”

You stare at him in a daze, trying to digest his words. He just suggested you go wait in his room like those girls he bones every other night. The image has you clenching your thighs together. You wanna believe you’re weirded out and you wanna walk out. But in reality, you really wanna walk down his hallway and get on your knees to be one of those girls shamelessly.

”Let’s go,” he says as he places the bottle of beer on the kitchen top “I’ll drop you ho-“

”I’ll do it,” you quickly interrupt, retracting your arm from his reach “I wanna pay you back and if this is your preferred method, fine! I’ll do it.” You say determinedly

”you dont have to,” he says looking directly into your eyes, stepping closer across your body

”I want to.” You repeat firmly, looking back at his eyes that suddenly turn darker in lust

”Fine,” he nods, hesitation still evident in his quivering pupils as they travel between your two eyes “Go wait in the room,” he hesitates as he glances down at your body “naked!”

Your breath hitches at the request, eyes unconsciously widening at his words.

“Alright,” You nod, standing there, still on your spot as if you’re still trying to think this plan through “Alright!” You nod again before turning on your heels and walking down the hallway to his room.

There is an odd feeling at the pit of your stomach when you step in the room, the sheet messily curled on the bed reminding you of the other night you were here. the night you watched Taehyung fuck that girl so intensely, it left you high and dry craving for some.

The realization finally hits you, now it’s you, you’re another one of those girls who you always used to mock over the years. sure, Taehyung was always an attractive young man, but you never understood why girls loved to be in his bed just as a playtoy for a night between his thighs.

“I thought I gave you an order!”

you turn around facing the guy, a shiver running down your spine the moment you hear his deep husky voice echoing in the four walls of the room.

“It’s not late,” he explains softly, no trace of anger or authority evident in his voice “If you regret it, step out and leave the apartment. I’ll be out in the lobby in five.”

“Why are you so insistent on me leaving?” You raise an eyebrow as your hands trace down to the hem of your dress “Do you regret asking me?” you step closer to him daring “Do you not want this with me?”

“No,” he snaps, his eyebrows furrowing closer together at the daring question “I dont regret a single thing. I just want you to know you have a choice.”

“And I said I’m fine,” you persist as you roll up your tight dress onto your waist and up to your chest, the fabric creating some friction with the curves of your chest before driving up onto your neck.

You throw the piece of dress aside, gulping nervously as you watch Taehyung’s eyes fixed on yours. You are slightly surprised that he almost resists to look down on your body.

“Am I gonna be the only one naked here?” you ask raising an eyebrow, trying to fight for dominance in the conversation despite your crumbling confidence due to your exposed body.

“No,” He says as his eyes falter away, hand reaching to loosen his tie that is perfectly hugging his neck “We have things to discuss before that.”

“What?” you voice out almost annoyed and impatient

“Safeword,” he replies bringing his eyes back, and for the first time you see his gaze scanning over your cleavage before shooting back to your face “Choose one.”

“Caramel!” you immediately reply, biting your lips as he squints his eyes on your quick response. Shit, you shut your eyes closed before quickly opening them.

“Okay,” he breaths out nodding his head as he steps closer to you “you know the game, if you wanna stop anytime, you say the word.”

“What if I can’t speak?” you muse looking at him with curious eyes

His eyes grow darker in shade, examining your face for more hint on the meaning behind your words. He exhales softly, the combined smell of his cologne and alcohol hitting your nose.

“So you already know what I’m gonna do with you?” he asks watching you closely as he dips his hands in the side pockets of his suit

“I got an idea,” you reply nonchalantly “"I’ll have what he had”, wasn’t that your request?“

You watch his face hardening at the mention of the earlier memories, the line in his jaw protrudes, indicating the pressure he’s exerting with his jaw on the bottom row of his teeth.

"two taps and I’ll know,” he says sternly as he points on the floor with his chin “down on your knees.”

The words are enough for your knees to give in. You slowly drop on your knee, maintaining eye contact with him as you do so. You reach forward for the button of his pants but he slaps it off.

“Hands off,” he shakes his head, looking down on you with unimpressed eyes “Hands behind your back.”

You gulp, lips slightly pursing into a pout before bringing your hands behind your back and clasping them together.

“Since you’re so good at giving heads, why dont you try with your mouth only?” He smirks at you “your skilled little mouth should be able to do that much.”

You blink up at him before drifting closer and tugging on his unbuttoned pants with your teeth. a sense of pride rushes through your veins as you feel his abdominal muscles clenching and unclench under your touch, he is affected by you and you barely touched him and that is enough to rush a considerable amount of arousal between your thighs.

You struggle to lower the fabric of his suit pants down, and after a few attempts whine quietly before bringing your eyes up to him.

“You seemed like you’re pretty good with your mouth when you were deep throating Jungkook,” He tilts his head to the side looking at you with haughty eyes as his fingers trace down to his pants “You need a hand?”

You nod frantically, impatient to have his clothed bulge exposed against your eyes and he senses your longing gaze on his hand.

“Why dont you beg for it?” He asks and your eyes widen, head flicking up to his face to see if he’s serious

“Kim Tae-”

“Daddy,” he bites the corner of his lips with anticipation “That’s what you’re gonna call me.”

You hesitate, eyes trembling on his stern expression, waiting any seconds for him to break out of character and tell you otherwise. But he remains unfazed as if he has planned all of this way before and is in no intention to change his mind.

“Remember Y/N, we’re playing by my rules but,” he mutters, his hand cupping your chin to bring back your head up to face him “You can say the word and we’ll stop-”

“Daddy,” you voice out, head tilted back and chin pointing at his face “Please, help me undress you,” you begin a seductive word and smile in victory as you see the guy’s eyes darken in lust

“You know how to beg,” he smirks, affectionately stroking your cheek “Such a good little whore, I guess I should give you a hand now that you asked so nicely.”

His other hand then travels down to unbutton his pants, before zipping it down and tucking the fabric lower on his thighs. You swoon over the toned thighs that come into your view, all those times you’d see him after his gym sessions with his toned thighs covered with sweats or shorts flashing through your mind.

Your eyes then freeze at the sight of his Calvin Klein brief that hugged his groin firmly, the bulge tightly pressing against the material and begging to be freed from its cage.

You lick your lips, imagining the monster you’ve seen before popping out in a few seconds, core trembling in excitement and urging you to drift closer to him.

“Mhmm,” he hums, hand tracing back from your cheek to the back of your head “Keen aren’t we baby?” he winks at your heated expression, pulling you with your head forward, “I think you can do the rest on your own babe, show me what that mouth can do.”

You keep your eyes fixed on him for a few seconds, taking up the challenge before leaning in and grazing your lips against his lower abdomen, where the hem of his brief is sitting.

You smirk hearing his groan in the background, knowing the touch of your lips on his skin is already affecting him giving you a sense of pride. You then hook your teeth on the hem of his brief and slowly yank the fabric down, against the resistance of the elastic band around his waist.

Taehyung watches you attentively, breath caging in his chest at the sight of your lips so close to his manhood as you pull his brief lower on his thighs, his eager and throbbing cock springing out against your cheek.

“Fuck,” he breathes out as he watches you finishing up your task of undressing him “When did you learn to be so good with your mouth?”

You tilt your head back, leaning in to graze your tongue on his angry red tip before muttering “I haven’t even started it, Daddy” you tease with a smirk

“You’re a fucking Cocktease,” he groans, head falling back as your lips resume their sinful action on his tip “OH FUCK!”

You smile in satisfaction at his cry of pleasure, taking half of his length in your mouth before pulling it all the way out and fondling his shaft with your tongue.

Taehyung’s expression contours in pain and frustration, wanting to slam his dick at the back of your throat any seconds but he stops his urges by firmly pulling on the strands of your hair.

“Why?” he asks, eyes glazing over you carefully “You dont think you can take it?”

“I can,” you raise an eyebrow, cupping his balls between your lips to attain a groan ripping from his throat “I’ve had big things in my mouth before”

“So you really wanna be a cocktease huh?” He squints his eyes at you remembering how you were on your knees with Jungkook’s cock in your mouth a few hours ago “You seemed in more of a rush with that bastard Jeon Jungkook,” he then smirks darkly as he mutters “Or was he too disappointing that you wanted to finish him up soon?”

Your eyes lighten with excitement at the mention of the other guys, lips still continuing to play with his balls and watch his abs clench with your action.

“Not really,” you lick your lips, eyes wandering around as you mutter “He was actually quite impressive for his own,” you gulp as you feel his hand tighten in your hair to tilt your head up but you remain unaffected as you continue “It was more of a quickie before we get to his place, that was if-” your voice trails off to look up at him “thing went as planned.”

You can see a strange tint of anger in his smirk that persistently stays on his lips, it’s quite similar to the rage he presented the other night at the club when he slammed you against that wall.

The difference is it no longer scares you or concerns you, but it only gives you a bit of excitement. The possibility that the high and mighty Kim Tae who never bats an eye on any girl would be pressed about you and another man shoots arousal right into your core.

And even if the thought of your best friend being possessive over you might have been more of a joke till a few hours ago, it was now making you all hot and bothered in all the right places.

“Now that the plans have changed,” he mutters darkly “You might as well go ahead and enjoy it, babe.”

He then grasps your head by the anchor of hair and pulls you towards his waiting cock and you compliantly part your lips, enveloping the warm muscles around his breadth.

“Fuck YES!” he groans, head falling back from the immense pleasure as you take him in, his cock twitching against your tongue as you lean closer and closer on his shaft

You whimper, the vibration making his knees weak as you realize his tip is already stimulating your gag reflex, hitting the back of your throat, but you’re only two third of your way on his cock.

His hooded eyes travel down to you, realizing you’ve stopped “You’ve had big things in your mouth but not this big,” a cocky smirk plasters on the corner of his lips again “You can’t take it all in can you?”

You cough as he snaps his hip forward, your throat closing down on his tip as tears well up in your eyes.

“You dont need to act tough babe,” he smirks watching your perseverance in taking him further down your throat “You know you’re not the first one to fail to take me-Aaahh FUCK!”

His sentence is left unfinished as you ease your throat around him and take him further in, his hand pressing against the back of your head while you push yourself against his pelvis.

Your nose digs into his lower abdominal muscles that clench and unclench under against your touch while your gag reflex continues to try and resist your attempt to keep him in.

“FUCK,” He cries, knees buckling and almost giving in as the sensation of his length completely enveloped by your mouth sends him to cloud nine “You take me so fucking well, God!” he says out of breath and you moan with him deep in your mouth, sending more pleasure shooting in his vein

“I wanna fuck your mouth so bad,” he groans bringing his pleading eyes to you “I wanna slam my cock in your throat so fucking much babe.”

You hesitate, eyes fluttering close and open, considering his proposition before hollowing your cheek and moving your tongue against his shaft to urge him.

“Fuck,” he exhales in disbelief “You want it, dont you?”

You nod, hand reaching at the back of his hips, to press him against your mouth before bobbing your head back and forth on his length.

“You’re such a cockslut,” he mutters in adoration, gripping your head to keep you still “I’m gonna fuck your mouth as you love it, babe.”

You stare at him with anticipating eyes, his firm holds on your head stopping you from bobbing your head on his cock as you planned. He then snaps his hip forward in a sudden movement and starts fucking your mouth in an erratic speed.

You remain still, the sound of his balls slapping against your chin and your gag reflex kicking in every few thrusts echoing in your ears in the background while the sight of the man groaning and moaning to the intense sensation of your mouth around him arousing you more and more.

Your hand travel down to your exposed core, finding the sensitive bundle of nerve that is throbbing to receive any stimulation possible and flick your finger on your clit.

The motion sends shivers down your spine and you moan against his cock, the vibrations attaining a painful groan from the guy who’s about to come undone in your mouth.

His eyes flick back onto you suspiciously and find your hand toying with your clit but the scene is not all too pleasant to his eyes. His eyes darken and he holds himself still in your mouth on the next thrust before harshly pulling back from you.

You stare up at him in surprise, gasping heavily for the air you were denied because of his enormous length in your throat when you meet his angry gaze on you.

“I thought I gave you an order,” he tilts his head to the side, watching your through hooded eyes “you’re not really good at obeying are you?”

Your hand cease their action on your clit and immediately retract back to their original place beside the other hand at your back but the action doesn’t go unnoticed from his attentive eyes on you.

“I-I J…Just-”

“Sssh,” he stops your attempt to justify your action as he wraps his hands around your neck, gently lacing around your throat without exerting any pressure “You disobeyed me and wanted to be a sneaky little whore huh?”

Your eyes tremble as you consider your options out of this situation, licking your lips carefully before leaning to take his cock back in your mouth but he’s quicker to realize your intentions to distract him.

“Tsh Tsh,” he scolds, fingers pressing against your windpipe and yanking you up on your feet “and you continue to be a naughty cockslut huh?”

his other hand travels down to your core, where your fingers were toying a few minutes ago. His fingertips touch the silky rope of arousal that covers your core and he groans.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” he whispers as if he’s talking to himself, expression softening for a moment before his dominating aura takes over his expression again “Are you that thirsty for some touch babe?” he says seductively as he grips you by the neck and toys with your clit in a slow manner

“Nghh,” you whimper, moving your hip to make more contact with his touch “Yesss there!”

His eyes lighten, loving the way you move in his control so he proceeds to stretch the lips of your pussy apart and thrust one finger in to retain a cry of pleasure from your lips.

“I guess Jungkook only cared about his own pleasure and left you needy huh?”

“Tae-”

“Yes,” he nods, yanking your head closer against himself and pressing his forehead against yours “Call my name.”

“Tae, please,” you beg, every nerve fibre in your body screaming for his attention

“Please what?” he asks, eyes glazing with anticipation for the next words to fall out of your lips

“I need more,” you roll your hip shamelessly on his finger, “please Tae, please fuck me.”

He smirks, lips curving into a crooked smile as he realizes he has you wrapped around his fingers “This was never about you babe, It was about my payback for being your muse and I haven’t even cum-”

“I know,” you hiss in frustration looking up at him “You can cum then,” you urge nodding your head “fuck me and you can cum in me.”

his pupils dilate at your lewd words, expression then immediately hardening as he presses his fingers tighter around your throat “Was that your plan with Jungkook?” he raises an eyebrow, tone almost sounding like he’s hurt “Were you gonna let him fuck his cum in you like you’re begging me now?”

you look back at him with guilty eyes, gaze wavering as you flashback to the memories of you and Jungkook in the bathroom cubicle. If it wasn’t for your friend’s unannounced presence, you probably would have got in the car with Jungkook and followed him to his place.

“You naughty little girl,” he murmurs, in a mixture of rage and teasing tone as he adds another finger inside you, starting to pace the way he finger fucks you while casually having a conversation with you “You had dirty plans in your mind didn’t you?” his hand then release your neck and travels down to give you a spank on your ass “answer me, babe.”

“Yes Daddy,” you nod, looking at him with needy eyes “I’ve been a bad girl, I’m sorry.” you fake a pout, using your last weapon to melt his walls down and to your surprise, it works on him.

“you know what happens to bad girls Y/N?” he asks, eyes curving into a teasing smirk, following your little act up with his own “do you wanna have a guess?”

“I d-dont know,” you reply simply, batting your lids innocently in response

“bad girls get punished by their Daddies,” he murmurs and he digs his knuckles in your pussy, hitting your sweet spot as a sloppy moan falls from your lips “what should I do with you, babe?”

you just moan in response, the intense pleasure from the way he cuts air to your throat and the fingers pressing against your g-spot making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Fuck, No Tae,” you whimper as he stops his action in your pussy and takes away his fingers immediately, the cum coated fingers travelling up to his lips as he tastes your juices casually against your needy eyes “Please, Tae dont stop.”

“Answer my question first,” he slips his finger out of his lips with a pop, eyes staying stern and hollow “What should I do with a cock tease like you?”

“Punish me, Daddy,” you murmur seductively, needy eyes piercing into his orbs as you whisper “Have your way with me the way you want.”

He inhales sharply, eyes lighting with a new rush of excitement as he eyes you carefully “Are you sure Y/N?” he furrows his eyebrows attentively “Are you sure you want this?”

“I’m sure,” you nod determined before smirking against his cheek “I’ve been very bad Daddy,” you whisper to ignite the fire in him “Why dont you teach your little whore a good lesson?”

“dont worry,” You feel his cock twitching against your thighs, a growl buzzing in his chest as he wraps his arms around your waist “I’ll teach you in a way you’ll never forget babe.”

“Get on your hands and knees,” he demands, keeping his eyes fixed on you carefully

You look at him for a few moments before turning around and settling into his requested position, keeping the weight of your body on your elbows and knees.

“Ass up for me,” he orders, hands gripping your ass and guiding it up against his body “I’m gonna give you 10 spanks as your punishment babe, if you take them well you’ll be rewarded after.”

You remain silent, considering the weight of his words when his hand grazes over your ass cheeks.

“I need to know if you’re fine with this Y/N,” he murmurs carefully, tone suddenly much lower and serious before blending into his act again “Do you want Daddy to punish you?”

“Y-Yes Daddy,” your voice trembles and he gives you hum of approval

*Smack*

The first impact comes to your flesh abruptly and your body stumbles forward on the mattress while a muffled moan rips through your lips. The delicious sting spreads over your ass cheek and you can feel the arousal dripping down the side of your inner thighs from pleasure.

“Do you know why you need this punishment?”

“Yes Daddy, I was a bad girl-Aaah*

*Smack*

"Right,” he mutters in approval “Bad girls need to be punished to learn their lesson. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

*Smack*

“Will be acting like a thirsty whore again, babe?”

“Never Dadd-Aaah!”

*Smack*

“Good, remember the pain next time you wanna get on your knees for another man’s cock like the filthy slut baby.”

“I will Daddy,” you whisper uncertain, the slight genuinity in his voice making you question whether all this is just an act or he is saying all those things seriously

*smack*

You whine as the pain starts to spreads in your body, your core dripping from the pleasurable sensation shooting in your nerves.

You would have never expected such ruthless treatment would turn you on but somehow being the receiving end of Taehyung’s seemingly cruel punishment was turning you on far more than you could ever imagine.

“Can you take more Babe?” he murmurs, hand gently touching the red marks spread on your bottom “you don’t have to-”

“No,” you voice out, sticking your ass up towards him “I can take it, Daddy, give me more please.”

He gulps, as his nervous hand raises up to come back down on your ass but he stops midway and instead leans in to spread gentle kisses on the red flesh of your ass cheek.

“Fuck, you’re so good for me babe,” he breathes out, plastering butterfly kisses on the abused flesh “So good for your Daddy.”

You jolt in surprise, feeling the gentle touch of his lips on your ass making you whimper from the soothing sensation. His lips then trace back to your core, parting your ass cheeks, the cold air making you shiver.

He plasters some gentle kisses on your inner thigh. He observes the dripping lips of your pussy, throbbing and red, inviting him to sink his cock between them.

“You were so good for me babe,” he murmurs as his fingers spread your pussy and stretch you ready for him, “I think It's time Daddy rewards you, babe.”

“Yessss,” your voice trails off weakly as your anticipation for your high finally seems to come to an end “Please Daddy, Please.”

He positions himself against your body and lines himself over your dripping cunt. Spreading your lips with two fingers, he palms himself before sliding it over your dripping entrance teasingly.

“Nghh, Daddy please,” you beg, losing your mind as your walls clench around air “please fuck me.”

“You want Daddy’s cock in your cute little pussy?” He teases with a smirk, enjoying the way your body moves in his accord

“Yes, Daddy Ye-AAAHH” you cry as he sinks his pulsing member deep inside your walls and your body trembles as he slowly moves his way in.

“Just like that baby,” he coos watching his length disappear inside you “I knew you’d take me well.”

“Taehyung,” you call out, hand reaching back with your hand to hold his thighs desperately “Fuck …. give me- give me a second …”

He immediately ceases his movement as he realizes you’re having difficulty with his size, your walls squeezing his cock tightly testing his self-control. He leans closer, careful to not push his length any further as he comes down in level with your ear and whispers

“We can stop if its too much babe,” he murmurs the reassuring words as he tucks your hair to the side carefully as he observes your painful expression

“No,” you shake your head, the sensation of your walls slowly accommodating to him setting your pleasure off to another delicious start “Just a moment, just-” you sharply inhale as he shifts slightly away “No, Tae, Please …” you turn around facing him as your hand comes to hold his chin against your shoulder “I can take it, Please.” You beg desperately

“I don’t want to hurt you!” He murmurs, words tinted by concern

“I know,” you flash a grimacing smile to him, hoping it would convince him “You can move now.”

“Are you sure?” He murmurs, nose digging deep in your neck as he murmurs ever so gently “I can always make you cum with my fingers-”

“No,” you groan in frustration as you move your hip back to him “Fuck me, please Tae, Fuck me!” you demand helplessly

“Alright,” he grunts, voice strained as he tries his best to control his urges to fuck senselessly into you “I’m gonna move now.”

He thrusts his hip forwards slowly, each movement of his hip parting your pussy further apart as your walls slowly adjust to his ginormous girth.

“F-Faster,” you breath out, hip bucking back to his thrusts “Faster Tae.”

“As you wish babe,” he fastens his pace, hip snapping against your walls in an insane pace, hitting every sweet spot in your walls.

“Yes, Yes,” you cry as you dig your head in the mattress, the muffled word echoing in the air “Right there!”

“You like it, babe?” He asks as your pleas flutter his ego, hand reaching forward to toy with your clit “You like me pounding your tight little cunt?”

“YES,” you cry, the bundle of nerves being toyed, shooting pleasure all around your veins “Its so fucking good,”

“You wanna cum on my cock?” he asks as he leans closer and presses his lips against your ear “You wanna cream Daddy’s cock babe?”

“YES YES,” you nod frantically “Please let me cum Tae!”

“Cum on my cock,” he urges, fingers flicking your clit at the same pace as his thrust in your pussy “Cum all over and make a mess babe.”

You scream your orgasm out as the pleasure takes over you, body withering and shaking with waves of pleasure under him. Your sensitive core burns with overstimulation as he continues to fuck through your orgasm, his thrust becoming sloppy and messier by each second.

“F-Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he warns as he presses your hip against his body “I’m gonna fill your tight cunt with my seeds.”

“YES,” you nod in approval, moving your hip to facilitate his thrust despite the burning sensitivity between your legs “Cum inside me Tae, fill my pussy please.”

He suddenly ceases his movement, drawing a whimper from your lips as he retracts his body and falls back sitting on the bed “I can’t,” he breathes out in a vulnerable tone.

You immediately turn your body around with bewildered expression covering your face “What’s wrong Tae?” You ask him in a dazed tone, not bearing with the immense craving to be filled by him

“I can’t Y/N,” he shakes his head, avoiding your eyes “I can’t do it,” he gulps nervously as he shifts away from you as if he is scared of touching your body again “I can’t continue this.”

“This was your idea,” you snap back, brushing your hair away from your face “You can’t just chicken out now. This was all about you getting your payback, for you to cum.”

“I’m s-sorry,” he hesitates as he grabs a blanket and wraps it around your body to cover your quickly, “I think I’m too drunk- No, I was too drunk when we came here-”

“Is it my body?” You ask in a quiet tone, voice weaker with embarrassment “Do I turn you off?”

His widened eyes travel to you, not believing your interpretation of his actions “What are you talking about?”

“I knew it,” you nod as you quickly cover your body with the blanket he wrapped you with “After all, you’re Kim Taehyung, you wouldn’t cum if your girl is not a Victoria’s Secret models.” you chuckle trying to mask your embarrassment

“You need to stop your bullshit,” he yells back as he raises on his knees in rage “it has nothing to do with that.”

“Then what is wrong with you?” You demand, leaning closer to him “Why do you play this game of push and pull Tae?” You ask, with furrowed eyebrows, anger taking over your words “why did you stop me from fucking Jungkook, only to bring me and make me fall on knees for you to just say you can’t cum with me here.”

“Stop fucking talk about him,” he yells back furiously as he cards his hair back from his face “I didn’t plan for things to turn this way. And I- ’m sorry if I messed up your plans with Jungkook.” he continues with venom in his words, as if he doesn’t really mean what he’s saying.

“Tae-”

You watch him with trembling gaze as he starts to build the walls between you, although the physical distance between your bodies is quite short.

“It was a mistake,” he declares looking at you sternly “I can’t just fuck you and pretend to be your best friend tomorrow,” he hesitates before looking away and forcing the words out “I’m gonna sleep in the guest room, you sleep here.”

You then watch as he gathers a few pieces of clothing before exiting the room you’re in, leaving you all alone with your thoughts there.

-

You wake up to a throbbing headache pounding on your temple, squirming on the bed sheet to sniff the familiar scent of Taehyung’s Giorgio Armani cologne you bought for his birthday.

You sigh as the memories of the night before flashes through your eyes, remembering how you fell asleep thinking of the guy abrupt leave after your scandalous time together. Somehow you wish that his warm embrace was what you woke up to instead of the scent of his cologne.

You scoot over the bed, tiptoeing your way to his drawer to grab an extra large shirt that can cover your body for now before leaving the room to find him.

You footsteps cease as you hear his deep voice reaching you from the living room, conversing with someone and from the lack of response you can tell he’s on the phone.

“Hyung, I understand,” he snaps in anger, trying to keep his voice as quiet as possible “but you need to talk to dad about this, I’m really not sure if this will work,”

You drift closer, hating yourself for eavesdropping when he speaks up again

“I know who she is,” He suddenly grunts “Jung Seri, the daughter of JH Group, I’ve seen her in last year’s-”

You’re so focused on hearing his words that you dont realize the increase in the clarity as the voice gets closer to you until you see Taehyung standing at the door, staring at you with surprised eyes.

“Hyung,” he heaves, observing you carefully “I need to go, I’ll talk to you later.”

You stay still, gulping nervously as he disconnects the call and examines the situation for a few seconds before abruptly questioning “How long have you been listening?”

“N-Not long,” you quickly shake your head defensively “I’m sorry, I was gonna say I’m here-”

“What did you hear?” He interrupts anxiously

“Jung Seri,” you pronounce the name, trying your best to hide the slight jealousy that may drip out from your tone “The daughter of JH Group,” you bat your eyelids slowly as you mutter “Is she the girl you’re marrying?”

“I guess,” He shrugs, gaze trembling away from you

“Oh,” you breath out, stomach sinking at his simple response as you lose all the words you prepared earlier “Okay.”

“My dad wants me to!” he adds as he brings his gaze to you and observes your expression carefully

“I heard about their company,” you nod, blinking rapidly to fight the tears “they’re pretty rich.”

“Y-Yeah,” he nods, shoulders slumping down upon your words “They’re an affiliate of our company.”

“Your dad must like her a lot then,” your voice sounds far more bitter than you intend and Taehyung doesn’t fail to notice it

“he doesn’t care,” he responds uninterested “He just wants me to settle down and have kids,” he hesitates before continuing, “he says he’s getting old and he wants grandchildren before he dies and since I’m not contributing to the company I should at least make babies.”

Your heart suddenly drops at the thought of Taehyung having babies, imagining mini versions of him running around the house tugging at the strings of your heart knowing another girl would be sharing that happiness with him.

You suddenly feel a rush of anger through your body, the situation seeming unfair on your end. You were fine with being his best friend, with having only a platonic relationship with him for years.

But he had to go out of his way to change the way you perceive him, tangling you in this complicated tug of war between your feelings only to be declaring another girl will have his babies.

The complicated rush of emotions all surge through you and you find yourself blurting out the words carelessly.

“Then what about me?”

“W-What?”

“Why did you do all those things with me?” You ask defeated, fist clenching by your side “Why did you have to bring me over and fuck me over your sheets?”

“B-Because … I just thought- I mean, It was about the payback …” he explains nervously

“What does that make me then?” You snap back, tears threatening to roll down your cheek “I was your best friend, but after all of this I dont even know where I stand in this relationship …” you inhale sharply as your gaze wanders on his dazed expression before asking “Or you want me to be your side chick?”

“WHAT?” He asks bewildered by your sudden accusation

“Is that what this is about?” You ask as the sudden realization hits “You want to marry her, but you kind- kinda want to have me as your side chick, like friends with benefit-Aaah”

He cuts your sentence short as he grips your arms and presses you against the wall, his eyes tingling with rage and fiery.

“That’s all you see isn’t it?” He asks through gritted teeth “You look at me, and all you ever fucking see is a boy trying to play with girls…” he sighs "a fuckboy, isn’t it?“

"Can you blame me?” You ask, your eyes glazing with fresh tears “You ignore me for days, making me worried sick about you only for me to find you cumming deep in a girl’s throat in your VIP room,”

You press your hands against his chest, trying to create some distance “Then you fuck me on your bed, bringing me onto my knees only to tell me you’re marrying another girl in the morning who you’re probably going to fuck on the same sheets.”

“What do you want me to do?” He yells back furiously “My dad wants me to get married and the only girl I ever imagined a future with is dating someone else … So I’m trying to take it like a man and move on so I at least dont lose her friendship, ” he goes silent for a second before staring directly into your eyes “Can’t you fucking see I’m trying?”

You furrow your eyebrows, still trying to make sense of his words when he shoots the next question

“Are you serious about Jungkook?” He interrupts you as he looks at you with a serious expression, “Jeon Jungkook, I’m asking do you fucking like him?”

“W-What?” you furrow your eyebrows “Why is he coming into this-”

“Answer my question, how far did you guys go?” He asks “Do you like him?”

“No,” you simply shake your head, the train of questions he’s bombarding you with not allowing anything but raw truth seeping out your words

“Did you fuck him?” He asks before quickly adding “Other than the bathroom incident, how far did you go with him?” he asks again, face frowning at the mention of the infamous incidence

“Nothing,” you quickly stop him “We- It was just that-”

“Alright,” he nods, reassured by your responses “So I can still call dibs on you.”

“Call dibs on me?” You chuckle awkwardly at his choice of words not believing him “What am I? a candy?”

“ I like you Y/N,” he shots back in rage, eyes observing your lost expression.

Your reaction is exactly as he expected, eyebrows furrowing closer before your eyes widen in shock.

“Tae … W-What-”

“Right,” he nods panting heavy in anger “I like you so fucking much I couldn’t see you sucking that bastard’s dick, So I brought you back home to suck mine,” he scoffs at the irony of his words “I was jealous like a five years old, that’s why I need to know if you regret following me here and if you’re serious about him.”

“Tae,” you call for him, thoughts rushing to your brain at an insane speed “Y-You, seriously, You …”

Your voice trails off as you try to digest the words that come one after another, your attempts fail completely as your brain shots back a big error to you. Your thoughts are blank as you try and process the guy’s devastated look along with his previous words.

“I can’t even cum without imagining your face,” he exhales bringing his eyes to you “I’m fucking the "Victoria’s secret models”,“ he quotes you with a bitter tone "But all I can ever think about is you and your God damn face.”

“How long-” you ask with a dazed tone “Since when-”

“I dont even remember when it started,” he replies, head falling low as he tries to think “I believe it started when we started going to rehab,” he mutters eyes wandering as he reminisces the memories “I used to lay in bed, sore all over from my cravings for those pills and all I could ever think of was your face.”

You look at him, listening attentively to his words as you remember the days you used to go to his rehab sessions together. Back then he decided to quit his addictions to the recreational drugs he used to take with his rich friends and you promised to help him go through the process.

You never truly realized how deep he was attached to those pills and how much you neglected him until you followed him to his therapy sessions, watching him scream and tremble from his cravings for the drugs that gave him his highs before.

Deep inside you felt guilty for being so careless about what he did or who he hung out with while you were working your ass off to get recruited in a prestigious company.

So you made sure you’d be with him every step of his heart-wrenching battle with the addiction, ensuring you don’t regret neglecting your best friend ever again.

“It’s not my fault,” he snaps defensively as he presses your body against the wall “You were always there at my weakest,” He breathes out as he watches you carefully “I just wanted to close my eyes and die and you were on my bed forcing me to eat and drink into another day.”

“I-I’m …” you start, stumbling through the words “I didn’t know!”

“Of course you didn’t,” he scoffs with a bitter smile “I worked so fucking hard to hide it, sleeping with every God damn girl in this town to hide the fact that I want to bone my best friend every time she hugs me innocently like a friend.”

You sigh imagining how hard you were making it for him all these years, without even realising you might be torturing the guy with your overly affectionate behaviour, barging into his life and his personal space almost all the time.

“I’m sorry Ta-”

“Cut it,” he hisses eyes closing close “That’s exactly why I worked so hard, I dont wanna fucking hear you pity me for my feelings,” he clenches his jaw “I shouldn’t have started this, my jealousy about you and Jungkook got the best of me and I thought with my dick for a moment, I’m sorry-”

“No,” you quickly shake your head “I dont regret a thing about last night Tae. We both made a decision and we did it knowing fully what the consequences could be.”

He goes silent for a few seconds eyes lowering as his grip on your arms loosen and he stands passively against your body.

“Are you serious about what you said?” you ask with a defeated tone, letting emotions take control of your words “about having a future with me?”

He brings his wavering eyes to you, lips parting “All I ever wanted was to be with you Y/N,” he whispers “No matter how many girls came and left my life, It was always you.”

“Then let’s make babies,“ you blurt out, the words slipping your tongue before you even chew them properly

"You- You seriously …” his eyes widen in surprise “What?”

“I wanna be with you Tae,” you drift closer to him "and if this what it takes for your Dad to accept me, I will have your babies,” you then hesitate before biting the corner of your lips shyly and adding “even if he doesn’t, I’ll probably still have your babies.”

“Y/N,” he breaths out in disbelief “You want to be with me?” He asks, eyes about to pop out of socket from your sudden suggestion “Me?”

“Yes,” you nod determined “I dont think I have the confidence to let you go Tae,” you admit, heart trembling at the thought “I dont think I can trust any other woman to take care of you either. That day when your brother said you’ll be getting married, I felt like a piece of my heart was ripped right out of my chest. The only reason I said those horrible things was because I was lost and confused and didn't know how to deal with my feelings.”

His expression softens to a sweet smile, eyes glittering with joy for a few seconds before his mischievous aura takes over his features again. He leans closer to your ear with a smirk as he whispers

“You want to have babies huh?” he murmurs making your cheeks heat up from the suggestive words “and I thought your daddy kink was a surprise, Who would have known my baby has an impregnation kink?”

He then grabs your thighs firmly, picking you off the floor, legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he settles you on the wall “Since you asked so nicely,” he smirks as he hoists his hands around your torso “Daddy will give you babies.” He whispers before crashing his lips on yours.

[shadedrose01]

My First Kiss

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Peter Parker has his first kiss with Harley Keener

Tags: Febufluff, Day 21, First Kiss, Kissing, Boys Kissing, Accurate Kissing, accurate first kiss, It aint like the movies guys, Sorry to tell ya, Gay Harley Keener, Bisexual Peter Parker, Boys In Love, Established Relationship

Day 21 of Febufluff: "First Kiss"!

A/N: apparently I cant stop writing and take a break even if I want to (even if i should 🙃), so have two fics in one day oops okay bye love y'all

--

'wait you've never kissed someone before? like ever?!?'

'No?? Is that a problem? :/'

'no no of course not! im just surprised, that's all'

'Why are you surprised?? You know I havent had a partner before'

'yeah yeah I know but like'

'you're gorgeous pete. like, perfect. who wouldn't want to kiss you?'

Peter chuckles lightly, glancing around him as he does, finding his teacher still at the front of the class, still teaching, still not focusing on him. Good. He looks back down, typing out his response quickly, knowing he could get caught at any minute.

'Awww, you're so sweet'

Its first period on a boring tuesday morning, advanced math, pre-calculus, and Peter is bored. He did this math last year with Mr. Stark, when he got bored during the summer and they couldn't think of anything better to do than to do math problems. Hell, he had some actual calculus that day, not this pre shit. But he cant just skip a course, no matter how much he longed to, no matter how absolutely boring these classes were, the teacher droning on and on about things Mr. Stark taught him in ten minutes or less.

Luckily, he has his boyfriend to keep him entertained.

'im just telling the truth, sugar ;)'

And to flatter him, apparently, Peter's face burning, his cheeks aching as he smiles wide, his chest filling with warmth.

Him and Harley were new, to say the least, but they had always been more than friends. Even on the day that they met, two months ago, Harley had flirted with him immediately, and Peter had flirted back, much to Tony's fake disgust (and very real amusement, though he'd never admit it). So when Peter had finally taken the extra step a few weeks ago, and stopped beating around the bush to ask Harley out, and they started actually dating, not much has changed. Not that Peter minds it, he actually quite enjoys it. They didnt change themselves once the 'boyfriend' label was stuck to their backs, they're still the goofy, teasing, flirting pair they were before it all, and Peter adores it.

The only thing that had changed was them getting closer, and stronger as a pair, which was never a bad thing. Peter trusts Harley more than he trusts anyone else (minus May, he doesnt think anyone could beat May), and he really likes him and-

And he really, really wants Harley Keener to be his first kiss.

Peter bites his lip, scanning the room once more before he types out his message, sending it before he can overthink it, his leg bouncing anxiously.

'Do you want to?'

The typing bubble pops up immediately, even though Harley is in class as well and should also be paying attention. But Harleys like him in that sense, a little too smart for their own goods, so he guesses that they're in the same boat. The message shoots through, and Peter reads it quickly.

'kiss you?'

'Yeah'

Typing again, but this time, the bubble disappears and reappears multiple times, as if Harley is typing and stopping, typing and erasing, trying to think out his words. The action only makes Peter more anxious, more nervous, his hands automatically pushing up to his face, rubbing against his cheek as he picks and chews on his nails, a terrible, awful habit he needs to learn how to break.

The new message appears, and Peter's heart stops.

'yeah i do'

'but we don't have to until you're ready darling'

'I want to.'

'are you sure?'

'Im positive.'

It takes a few seconds extra for the next message to send, as if Harley needs a moment to catch his breath too.

'okay, meet me under the stair case at recess, at the far end of the hall'

Peter places his phone face down on his desk, tapping his pencil and bouncing his leg as excitment and nerves swirl in his stomach, in his chest, internally screaming, because holy shit he's going to kiss Harley Keener, he's going go kiss his boyfriend holy shit-

He sends back a quick okay before trying to focus back in on the lesson (but mostly paying attention to the clock in the corner of the room), a wide grin on his face for the rest of the period.

Once the bell finally finally rings, Peter races out of his chair, rushing to his locker and dumbing all of his materials into it before closing it and making his way to the stated destination, his heart racing and his hands beginning to sweat.

When he turns the corner of the staircase, Harley is already there, leaning against the wall and looking way too good to be fair, also looking just as nervous and excited as Peter feels. He stands up straight when Peter approaches, his face softening from its nervous furrow into a gentle look that melts Peter from the inside out. "Hey baby, good morning."

"Morning." He whispers, stopping once hes stood right in front of Harley, closer than any friends would be but still  enough distance between them for personal space.

Theres a awkward pause for a few moments, before Harleys speaks up again, his blueish gray eyes going serious, intense as he states, "You sure about this? We can still wait, Pete, I won't judge ya-"

"I know," Peter cuts in, laughing gently, smiling at his obviously anxious boyfriend. "I want this. I want it to be you."

Harley freezes, before he tilts his head up, looking up at the ceiling and then away, blinking rapidly, his cheeks flushing a pretty pink as a wide grin grows on his face, a look of awe shining through. "Okay, okay, cool cool, okay." He looks back to Peter, eyes still glistening slightly, but churning with so many strong, warm emotions that it makes Peter's head spin. "If you're sure."

He steps forward, then, pressing into Peter's personal space, a welcome presence even as it causes Peter's nerves shoot through the roof, his breath warm and heavy on Peter's mouth. "I'm sure." Peter breathes back, even as his mind starts screaming at him, because what if he doesnt do it right, what if he messes it up, what if hes a bad kisser, and Harley doesn't like it, or what if-

Harley leans in, soft lips are pressed to his, and suddenly everything is quiet. Everything that was so loud, blazingly, screamingly loud is so so so quiet, almost a whisper as Harley's lips, a little wetter and chappier than Peter expected, moves against his, once, twice. Peter tries to follow, he does, grasping onto Harleys upper arms to gain some semblance of balance as he messes up the rhythm, as their noses bump against each other awkwardly, as he feels Harley's nose scrunch up immediately afterwards, feels him laugh against his mouth as he pulls away.

Peter body flares, embarassment and shame flooding through his body as he thinks he messed it up, ruined the kiss, berating himself for not being good, when Harley speaks up again, shocking Peter out of his thoughts.

"For a first kiss, that actually wasn't that bad."

Peter gapes at him, eyes wide. "R-really? But I thought-" He cuts himself off, but Harley seems to get the hint, chuckling again.

"You should've seen my first kiss." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "5th grade, a girl named Susie. She had braces, we kissed with tongue because we didnt know what we were doing. Mouth full of metal." He shutters, and Peter laughs lightly, airy, feeling a bit better and less like a failure of a boyfriend.

"Ew, that sounds awful."

"It was." Harley agrees, grinning dopily. "Ain't much like the movies, is it?"

Peter shakes his head firmly, laughing wholeheartedly now, smiling wide as Harley joins in. No, definitely not like the movies. He hadnt felt any butterflies, or sparks, or anything else they had said he would. He had just felt lips, and wetness. He doesnt know why he expected anything more.

"But, the good thing about it," Harley continues once they calm down, cocking his head to the side with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Is that you get better with practice."

He wiggles his eyebrows, making his point known, and Peter snorts, before sighing in faux annoyance. "Guess we'll just have to keep at it, huh?"

He doesnt even give Harley time to respond, leaning back in and kissing the words off of his lips.

Yeah, he thinks he could get used to this.

[bubbly-stripe]

Short Fic (4dow + Stary-Sonic)

----------------------------------------

Quick little thing..its 10pm and i forgot to do my homework :D

Also..lets say this takes place in Sonic X..? S3 tho👌

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

Tired.

That's all the small little fox felt as she quietly scrolled through her Tumblr feed.

Why was everything suddenly so dull and uneventful ? Waking up in the morning was already a chore ! And it didnt help that Shadow wasnt around anymore.

He wanted to 'make the world a better place' so he flew back up into space with the blue blur Sonic to finish off what was left of Eggman and the Meterex.

Why couldnt he make HER world a better place !? What happened to always being there for eachother through thick and thin !?

Maybe these thoughts of hers were selfish..but she couldnt help it..

She missed her cute little hedgie.

And would do anything to see him again.

A soft knock could be heard from the front door. Since the house was already dead silent, Helena heard it and got up to answer it.

She opens the door and is greeted by a soft rabbit. Her old time friend,Me'Re.

"Oh hey...you ok ?" Helena steps aside to let her in.

"Yea..I'm ok...I just..felt lonely.." She says, forcing a smile. She sits on a sofa and looks at her shoes.

"I understand..but..I'm sure they'll be back soon !" She says as she closes the door, walking back to her respected spot on the other sofa, just across the room.

To be honest, she didnt think they would come back.

They have been gone for almost a year. She was certain that they both forgotten about the ones that loved them most.

The men didnt even bother giving them a call or sending them any letters...

Sure, Sonic has been imprisoned twice and Shadow thrown through space and falling down towards Earth on multiple occasions. But they always managed to find their way back to the ones they love.

Helena was so lost in her thoughts, she didnt hear the rabbit hiccup gently across the room.

"I-I thought they loved us Helena..."

Helena snaps out of her thoughts at looks at the little rabbit. She sighs and walks across the room and sits next to her, pulling her into a hug.

"No need to cry...its ok...maybe one day they will come back."

Stop lying.

They wont come back.

They never will...

Helena teared up alittle gripping the small girls shirt gently.

"O-Of course they w-will come back Me-Me ! D-Don't be foolish !"

They were both foolish if they think they'd come back after a year.

Face it...they...were gone.

She broke down. And it seemed like she wasn't gonna calm down for hours on end.

All they had was eachother for the time being.

No friends.

Just eachother.

Hours went by and the two had cried eachother to sleep on the couch. They didn't bother locking the front door for safety...

Not like anyone would come in..

The time read 1:55am.

The front door gently opened to reveal, yes, two extremely tired and beaten up hedgehogs.

To clarify, fighting in space was very hard for the two amateurs. Sonics speed abilities were limited due to the lack of gravity and so were Shadows chaos abilities, due to the fact that the Meterex had all 7 of them. The first plan of theirs was to beat the emeralds out of the Meterex and find them all before they could. Classic yet dumb Sonic move.

Just that alone took them months.

The galaxy was so big...and....endless...

The REAL fight probably only took them an hour or two.

They obviously win the fight. The Meterex was destroyed for good..and well...so was Eggman.

The fight took a toll on their physical forms though.

Sonics eye was scratched up, leaving him somewhat blind and his legs were damn near broken due to all of the kicking he's done. Shadow on the other hand was slightly worse. His body was weak, fur discolored. Bloodshot eyes and broken fingers. Not only that, but scars littered both of their small bodies. Lets just say...these men aren't very..pretty while angry.

Anyway, the present.

The two hedgehogs walk into the small house and sit on the couch.

"Damnit...I can't feel my arms.." Shadow growls out as he lays down.

"Haha..my legs...theyre so numb !" Sonic awkwardly laughs as he lays next to him.

They silently stare up at the dark ceiling for awhile..

"Do you think they remember us Shads..?"

"....Dont be stupid Sonic...of course they remember us.."

Sonic shivers a bit and turns to face him

"What if they're mad...? What if they dont love us anymore !? What if--"

Snoring cuts him off.

He stares at Shadows peaceful sleeping form and sighs.

"Guess we'll see tomorrow" he tries his best to shift into a comfortable position and rests easy.

Finally free.

Finally home.

Morning time ✨

It was 11am.

Shadow yawns and jolts up. He frantically looks around the room.

So comfortable...so..soothing..

He examines the room...

And his heart instantly melts.

The first thing he notices is his beautiful lover and her bestest friend cuddled on the couch fast asleep.

His emo heart throbbed at the pure and gentle scene. He tapped Sonic on the shoulder to wake him. Sonic, being a gentle sleeper after a year of constant battle, woke up instantly. He looked at Shadow and then directly in front if him.

Gah two mushy hedgehog hearts..

Sonic blushes at the sight of his baby craddled in Helenas arms. Hes quick to notice dry tears staining both of the ladies pretty faces.

And well..

Tears start to stain both of their faces as well.

"Damn..we really have been gone for a long time havent we...?" Shadow huffs out looking over at the azure hedgehog

"Y-Yea...I...I guess so" He wipes his tears away and sniffs softly.

"God I missed her" they sung in unison.

This of all things woke Helena up.

She yawns and looks down at Me'Re. She squeaks and eventually wakes up too.

"Good morning Me'Re..".she smiles at her

"Good morning.." She smiles, still tired.

"....good morning.." The hedgehogs once again sang in unison. More quietly this time however

The pair are quick to snap their heads towards the sound and they freeze.

They quietly stare at eachother.

Mind racing.

Heart racing.

Were they really here...? Alive ? Well ?

Still theirs ?

Helena is the first to stand up. She awkwardly and slowly walks towards Shadow.

She cups his cheeks and stares into his shiny ruby eyes.

God how she missed those eyes...

"...Shadow..?"

"...hi...Blue Stripe..."

She cries instantly and passionately kisses his slightly chapped lips.

So much love and care went into that one kiss.

One kiss. That she hoped would never end..

As the two slowly start to kiss even more passionately, Me'Re is still staring at Sonic And sonic still staring at her.

Its almost as if their brains havent fully comprehended what was happening.

This wasnt a dream.

It was a reality.

So..to make sure his mind wasnt playing games on him again, Sonic attempted to get up but fell back down due to the numbess in his legs.

He hisses and rubs his legs, attempting to wake them from their never ending slumber but, of course, failed.

Me'Re quickly gets up and runs over to him, helping him on his feet

"..a-are you ok 'nikku ?"

"I-I..."

He stares into her eyes and analyzes them more closely.

"I dont think I'm dreaming.." He says as he gives her a gentle hug.

She's quick to start crying and hugs him back.

Shadow breaks the kiss and hugs Helena tightly, tight enough to remind himself that she was there. Finally in his arms again. Where she belonged.

"I missed you..way too much..." He whispered in her ear, a tear seeping its way out of his eye. Helena, on the other hand was a crying mess.

"I-I-I-"

"Shhh..its ok..save your voice.."

They stay locked in that position. And they didnt dare move.

They needed this

They needed eachother.

Sonic is quick to pull away and stare at her again.

"My god..its the eyes I fell inlove with."

Me'Re blushed and looked away, though Sonic is quick to put a finger under her chin and make her look at him.

They kiss.

Not as long as edgelord and the artlord in the corner though.

But still sweet, nonetheless.

They break it and sit on the other couch aross the room. Sonic lays on his back and Me'Re lays ontop of him.

"Promise me Sonic..."

"Hm ?"

She cries again and looks into his dreamy eyes.

"P-Promise you wont leave me alone like that again..."

Helena is quick to look at Me'Re then back at Shadow, who simply nods his head and pecks her forehead.

Sonic looks over and Shadow who smiles warmly at him.

He looks back down at her

"I....no....WE promise."

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

Donee !

Hope you likey sissss ily <333

[really-sleep-deprived-nerd]

Feelings Are Odd

Summary: Both Logan and Virgil are in love but confused about what “Love” is. They find a nice solution though.

Pairing: Analogical

Words: 1734

Warnings: None that I can think off. Maybe a tad bit out of character?? Yeah probably Logan is like Very Sappy in this one so. Out of character.

Notes: Do you guys remember that post I made of me using the Nerds TM to vent about my problems with feelings??? Yeah this is the fic and also what goes through my head when I like someone.

I have the first draft for a part two but the chances of me finishing it are infinitesimal, so sorry about that.

Logan knocked on virgil's door and calmly waited for the other to open it. Virgil poked his head from behind the door, looking confused and tired, but when he saw Logan, he smiled.

“Oh, hey L, do you need something?” Virgil asked and Logan nodded.

“Yes, I am in need of your assistance. I am attempting to understand a very strange and complicated feeling I have been having as of late and I would appreciate if you could help me do so.” Logan answered and Virgil gave him a confused look.

“Uh, I'm not saying I won't help you, but, why do you want my help? I mean, I don't understand half of my own feelings most of the time and on top of that, you know a person that is literally feelings personified, so why don't you ask him?” The anxious side asks as he leans on the doorframe.

“While it might be true that you have problems understanding your own feelings, there is no way you could fare worse than me in this emotions matters.” Virgil snorted at that and Logan continued. “And in regards to why I don't ask Patton, the reason is very simple: While Im aware that he and Roman should be considered experts on these matters, they both seem to experience said feelings a lot stronger than I do and I believe they won't be able to completely understand what I mean because of that and my own inability to express my emotions.”

Virgil nods and Logan continues explaining his line of thought. “Since you seem to be the most calm and rational out of the three of the remaining sides I consider myself friends with I thought you might be the best suited to assist me in coming to a conclusion about this.”

“Fair enough. Want us to go to your room? This looks like it's going to be a long chat and we both know what my room does to anyone who stays for too long and if what you want to talk about is important enough for you to ask for help, then I think you would want to keep your head clear for that.”

Logan stopped and thought for a second before nodding. “You are very correct, follow me please.”

The more they approached Logan´s room the more Logan seemed to grow, ironically enough, anxious. Once they were in Logan's room, Virgil sitting cross legged in Logan's desk chair and Logan sitting on his bed, the logical side looked almost scared.

“Well, nerd, spill, what's up?”

“I'm going to say this and I beg of you to don't freak out or get angry at me.” Virgil raised an eyebrow at that and looked at Logan squinting.

“Your feelings are about me, aren't they?” It sounded less like a question and more like an affirmation and Logan sighed.

“Yes, and even though they aren't bad, far from it actually, I'm starting to believe that maybe asking your help wasn't the brightest of ideas”

“No shit sherlock.” Virgil actually laughed. “Logan trust me, its fine, you did what you thought was better and most rational. Honestly, if I wasn't such an anxious mess I would have probably asked for your help with basically the same problem a long time ago.” Logan seemed to physically relax for a second, but then he looked at Virgil confused.

“Why would have you asked my help with feelings?”

“When I feel something strong for someone my anxiety tends to cloud my judgment and makes me second guess my own feelings a lot and it's literally the most frustrating shit I have ever dealt with. I need unbiased logic to try and differentiate what are my true feelings and what are a product of my own fears and anxieties”

“Oh, in that case, feel free to come to me when you are having trouble with that, I will help you to the best of my ability.”

Virgil smiled at him and then gestured at Logan to continue. “Thanks L, now, you were saying, feelings?”

“Ah, yes, I believe I might be harboring romantic feelings towards you, but I'm not entirely sure if they are truly romantic feelings or if they are merely some extremely strong platonic feelings.” Logan said with his face neutral, even if you could hear a tint of nervousness in his voice. Virgil blinked owlishly at him for a second, and then he almost started laughing. Almost.

“Of course, of fucking course you are having the same doubt I have. Goddamnit Logan.” Virgil pinched the bridge of his nose and Logan looked at him curiously.

“Im afraid I don't understand what you mean by “same doubt you have”, would you care to elaborate?”

“I meant that ,remember what I said earlier about my anxiety making me doubt my feelings? Well, I meant exactly that. I have literally the same problem: I think I like you, but I'm not sure if I really like you-like you or if I just really really enjoy your company.” Virgil explained and Logan nodded in understanding. A extremely faint blush creeped up on both of their faces.

“Oh, am I correct in assuming by how irritated you sound that you havent reached a conclusion regarding your feelings?” Virgil nodded and Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Then there is a big chance that this conversation will be useless, given the fact that we are both completely lost.”

“I'm not so sure about that.” Virgil argued. “I mean, so far we both have been dealing with our feelings alone and just thinking about them and I'm pretty sure I read something that said that talking about feelings made it easier for you to understand them and deal with them.”

“I believe you might be right, but if we are going to start talking and analyzing my feelings then we are going to do the exact thing with you.”

“Fair enough.” Virgil conceded. “The most basic question to ask is: What do you feel?”

“Has that ever worked for you?”

Virgil barked a laugh at that and shook his head. “No, but you are a lot more smarter than I am, L.”

“Falsehood, we both are brilliant in our own ways.” Logan sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. “It would be wonderful if our brilliancy would apply to the matters of the heart too.”

“Logan you are avoiding my question and you know it.” Virgil reminded. “What do you feel?”

“I…” Logan paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “I feel quite warm and happy when I'm near you, very much comfortable and relaxed, which is odd because I tend to be incredibly stressed most of the time. Have you ever felt something like that? Like you are at peace when you are near me?”

“Yes, actually I, uh, feel like that too, but you put it in words that actually make sense, the difference with me is that instead of stressed I tend to be anxious most of the time.”

“Then I just have this sudden thoughts that feel so strange, but so right at the same time.”

“How? Like when you start rambling about things that you are passionate about and the only thing that comes to my mind is “I could listen to him for hours”?” Virgil asked, just a tad bit embarrassed  Logan nodded, blushing just a tiny bit.

“Exactly like that, and even if i'm pretty sure that thinking things like that should be a tell-tale sign that my feelings are indeed romantic I can't help but doubt it because…”

“Because you started having this kind of thoughts after you started entertaining the idea that you might like me?” Virgil supplied and Logan nodded.

“Yes, that and the fact that usually romantic feelings come hand in hand with a feeling of nervousness when you are around the object of your affection and that one should have a bit of trouble speaking coherently or eloquently when near them, but I just feel nothing but warm and peace.”

“Yeah! And people say that when you love someone you are bound to grow jealous of them but I just feel nothing??? Like, why would I feel jealous?? First of all you are my friend, so your happiness comes first and second why the fuck would I care?? If we were dating I trust you to no fuck things up and and since we aren't it's not my damn business to feel like that!”

“Yes! My exact thoughts!” Logan exclaimed.

They grew quiet for a minute or so, until the logical side spoke again.

“Also, it really scares me how fast I know I could just squish this feelings, you know? Like, Im aware that if I ever confessed-”

“Logan we kinda just did that.” Virgil interrupted, heavily amused.

“Yes I know let me finish explaining this- and you didn't feel the same, as long as our friendship keeps onwards like it currently is, I wouldn't really mind that much, and people always seem to be so heartbroken when their crushes don't feel the same about them.”

“I get you, yeah. As long as you are in my life I wouldn't mind staying platonic, Im happy to just get hugs and cuddles.” Virgil said and Logan nodded, a soft smile on his face. “But, the thing is, that was when we were in the dark about what the other felt, and now we know we literally feel the exact same, so, my question is: What do we do now?”

“Excellent question: I have no clue.” Logan practically deadpanned and Virgil laughed.

“Maybe we should just, like, take things slow and keep going how we are right now, but maybe listening to our feelings just a bit more.”

“That sounds satisfactory, but may I inquire what exactly do you mean by listening to our feelings just a bit more?” Logan asked. “Do you mean like when you rest your head in my lap while you are mindlessly scrolling through your phone and Im reading and  instead of  having to physically restrain myself from start brushing your hair with my fingers like I usually do, I should just, do it?” Logan asked, blushing lightly and Virgil smiled fondly at him.

“Yeah, exactly like that.” He said, stretching as he got up from the chair. “Wanna go watch a movie downstairs?”

“Yes, that would be wonderful.”