#english is no longer a language at this point and my brain is mush so i apologize for any mistakes ;;;;;;

[stormyoceans]

Hello, Monica, Do you have any idea about Title's -Chueam's lil bro- role OF? He is present in the intro but appeared in the series once in passing and cries in the trailer. It seemed to me that this is a significant character -possibly ex sand- but for now Title is being kept in the basement. Good day for you!

hello, anon!!!

you know, now that you mention it.... i honestly have no idea what his role in the story is supposed to be ;;;;;;

part of me feels like he's not necessarily gonna come into play in the main plot, as in.... idk if i can explain myself but like, take gap for example: he actively affects the story by filming his hook-up with boston, but drake is not in the main credits of the show. on the other hand, jennie and tee are in the main credits, but for now yo and plug haven't been directly involved in the boys' messes. they are, however, familiar with all the characters, and by owning the bar where a lot of the action takes place, they often get caught in the crossfire

i think atom's role is gonna be more similar to yo and plug's rather than gap's: he probably won't influence the plot with his actions (so i find it unlikely he's gonna turn out to be sand's ex, if only because i think chueam would know sand and top if that were the case), but because he is chueam's brother maybe he will get caught in the crossfire too. i find it strange, for example, that in the only brief scene he showed up in they took the time to point out he has a girlfriend. maybe something will happen with her, or maybe he's gonna be at the party in the next episode and somehow get involved with the drugs

tl;dr: i personally don't think he's gonna be a very significant character, plot wise, but i feel like he will somehow have to deal with the fall-out of the boys' actions and that's why he's crying in the trailer

[0ffgun]

Alright so!! I got some requests from people for me to make a post with tips on how I self-study my languages, so here we are! It’s not perfect and everyone studies differently, but I hope some of these tips can help you out.

Personally I study Korean & Thai so this list is aimed at those but a lot of the study tips are pretty general and can be applied to whatever language you’re learning. 

I’m an energetic puppy in human form - I simply CANNOT sit still and study for longer than 20 minutes before getting insanely restless and distracted, so I tend to only actually sit down and actively study once a week. If you’re expecting something clever and insightful this is absolutely the opposite of that... I basically trick myself into learning! So here is my silly little guide, let’s go!

General Tips:

★ Get ridiculous with sticky notes. Seriously, do it. If you’re just starting out and don’t know the words for all of those household objects then go ahead and scribble them down on those post its and stick them EVERYWHERE. It might drive your family members/roommates crazy but hey... you’re doing it for a good cause, right?

★ Don’t rely on romanization too much - if your language has its own writing system, focus on that using as much as you can. Romanization seems helpful but in the long run you’ll rely on it too much. It’s better to get familiar with the native writing system asap!

★ Pick out a word/phrase of the day and write it somewhere you’ll see it often. I have a whiteboard in my room that I’ll scribble a few phrases onto and then every time I walk past it, I’ll say them. Or if I’m not gonna be home all day then I write something on my wrist and glance at it throughout the day! This one is the most fun because when people see it they’re like “ooh that looks pretty!” or “ooh does it mean something deep and profound?” when in reality you have the phrase I like cheese written on your arm and it never stops being entertaining. Bonus points if someone native to that language reads it and looks at you like you’re crazy.

★ Say the words in silly voices. It sounds weird but if you’re sitting there repeating words (like the word banana, for example) from an app in a monotone voice you’re definitely less likely to remember it than if you’re yelling out “BANANA!!” in an opera voice or squeaking out “b an a n a” dramatically as you let go of Jack’s hand and let him sink into the ocean. 

★ Don’t isolate vocabulary. Learning new words is great, but it’s useless and you’re more likely to forget it if you don’t learn to use it in a sentence. 

★ Keep a diary! One of the absolute best ways to practice your writing and improve your skills is to just jot down a few things every now and then. It’ll be rusty and you won’t have much to say at first and will definitely keep needing that dictionary every 2 seconds, but after a few weeks you’ll really notice the difference. Buy pretty pens and stickers to motivate yourself to write in it! It’s also fun to do this around people who can’t speak it as they’ll look at it in awe and you can show off when in actual fact your writing is usually a clumsy scribbled “today I snacks eat and go sleep” but hey what they don’t know can’t hurt and it’s always fun to look like a genius.

★ Talk to your pets in that language. They’re not going to judge you, they actually don’t even care what you say as long as you say it in that entertaining pet voice. I don’t have any friends that speak Korean or Thai so the majority of my speaking practice is hurled at my dog. If you don’t have a pet, then plants or stuffed animals work perfectly too!

★ Listen to language podcasts while you do household chores, heck if you’ve gotta do something boring, might as well yell foreign words while you do it!

★ Change your phone settings to your target language. That way you’re literally forcing yourself to use it, and it becomes second nature and you pick up key words so quickly. Only do it if you know how to get back into your settings and change it back if you have to... or else you’re stuck and lost. 

★ Listen to music and sing a lot. Just scream those lyrics! A little off-key screeching never hurt anybody!

★ Get comfortable with numbers. They’re something that is dominant in ALL languages and you’re going to use them on a daily basis. Start with learning how to count to ten and get comfortable with it, and then go higher. Once you’re used to numbers individually, make it harder. I used to get my mum to write out 10 random numbers between 1 to 10,000 in the morning and I would translate them, and then I would do the same for myself in the evening. After a while you get quicker at them and before you know it you don’t have to awkwardly translate them in your head anymore, the numbers are just there ready in your brain.

★ Don’t only watch dramas! Watch more natural stuff too - variety shows, vlogs, instagram lives... anything where people are just chatting like they normally would do. That way you’re subconsciously learning more casual speech patterns and casual language too!

★ Don’t just study at home! Always make sure you have a dictionary handy (like on your phone, for example!) and keep your brain busy while you’re out and about. Buying some groceries? Try to name everything in the fruit and vegetable aisles and if you don’t know the name of something, look it up! You’re more likely to remember vocab this way as your brain has a situation to associate it to.

★ Be mean and make yourself work for things you normally do - check your horoscope on a regular basis? Read it in your new language instead! Want to check out the weather forecast? Do it the hard way.

★ Don’t feel like studying? Not in the mood? Then don’t do it! Instead put on your favourite show in your study language of choice. Not every study session has to be a hard one. Just relax and watch a foreign movie! You have no idea how much your brain picks up without you even noticing, chilling out and watching a drama absolutely counts as studying. Don’t force yourself to study if you’re not feeling it, you’re more likely to learn if you’re having a good time.

Advanced Tips:

★ Get keyboard stickers - if your new language has a different alphabet and you use your laptop to study it a lot then you’re definitely gonna need these! You can buy them SUPER cheap on ebay!

★ Change the language on your Netflix account and get ready to binge watch your faves! If you change your profile language to the one that you’re studying, you’ll notice that a lot of the shows available will now show subtitles in that language too. If you’re pretty advanced then now is probably the time to drop your native subs and start watching with the original subtitles in the original language.. good luck! 

★ Play Pokemon. When the latest Pokemon games started coming out with Korean language options I JUMPED at the chance - what better way to study than to just laze around playing video games? This is great for any other kinds of games you can snatch up in your target language too.

★ Read a favourite book in your new language. A common one is Harry Potter! It’s pretty much available in every language at this point and it’s a story you probably already know, which means you never get too lost because you know the plot already.

Resources:

Here are a bunch of apps and things that I use for studying that I find super helpful (and all of these are free!)

Drops (for Thai and Korean - available in both the apple store and the google play store)  - I use this app every single day without fail. It’s brilliant for expanding your vocabulary (there are TONS of languages available on there too!) HOWEVER: It only lets you study for 5 minutes and then you have to wait around 9-ish hours before you gain another 5 minutes to work with unless you want to pay for more. But honestly? That’s a good thing. You only need 5 minutes of vocab study before your brain wants to dissolve into mush anyway. I get up, do my morning stuff (usually just involves rolling around and blinking in confusion before grabbing a coffee) and then sit and do 5 minutes of drops, and then by the evening my 5 minutes have replenished and I do it again. Rinse and repeat, and you’ll be learning more words in a week than you even realise!

Duolingo (I use this for Korean, there is currently no Thai option) - This app is fantastic. I don’t recommend it for beginners as it should be used as more of an aid alongside your natural studies, rather than as a study resource itself. This app expects you to already know the basics so I’d dig into this one once you’re starting to get a little comfortable with your language!

Naver Dictionary (for Korean) - I use this every single day! Not only does it help me when I need to find a certain word, it also gives me lists of example sentences which is PERFECT and super helpful when I’m trying to memorize words!  And for Thai I use Thai-English Dictionary (I can only find it in the Apple store sadly) and that’s incredibly handy too, I wouldn’t be able to cope without it! I also use this website as a Thai dictionary when I’m not on my iPad!

Talk To Me In Korean (for Korean) - This has been a core element to my Korean studies. They have tons of lessons available on their website, they do regular YouTube videos (usually only 5-10 mins long, perfect for just a mini casual study session!) and they also sell textbooks and do podcasts too. If you learn best from textbooks then these are by far my favourite ones I’ve found, give them a try! They’re not too pricey.

Lingodeer (for Korean) - It’s cute, it’s friendly and it’s helpful!! I learned a bunch of new phrases using this one and it’s perfect for casual study!

Memrise (for Korean) - Fantastic if you’re a beginner! There are tons of languages available on here too. Although, there are only 3 levels in Korean so I got through this one pretty fast. 

Eggbun (for Korean) - An app that encourages you to learn using a texting format! I haven’t really used it much but I have friends that have said it’s really useful!

Ling (for Thai and Korean) - This one was pretty good, once again though I wouldn’t use it if you’re a beginner, it’s probably a lot more helpful if you know the basics before you attempt this one! I’ve only used it for Thai but there’s a Korean option you could try checking it out!

Mondly (for Thai and Korean) - This app is cheeky and it wants your money. You get a bunch of free lessons to start with which are GREAT but that’s it. Then it reduces you to one free lesson a day but honestly? Still useful so go ahead and use it. They also have speaking practice available too!

Thai2English (for Thai) - This website is an absolute LIFESAVER!! If I’m ever browsing and come across a sentence that just throws me, I simply copy and paste and this legend of a website just breaks it down for me word for word.

Extra Korean links:

Children’s books in Korean

Learning Korean through fairytales - a textbook used in Korea for children who are learning to read, it’s helpful as a Korean language learner too! You get a little story and then it’ll ask you questions about what you just read. 

TOPIK previous exams - these are so good for practice and if you want to get a general idea of what academic level your Korean skills are at. 

Learning to type in Hangul - this one was fun and I now type Korean pretty comfortably on my laptop so if you know you’re gonna be typing a lot, I recommend this program!

[choisansexual]

“My Cousin’s Best Friend”

For: @atinypiratequeen Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem Reader Genre: Realism/Angst/Smut+ Word Count: 4327 POV: second person POV

Preview: You blinked twice. Then a third time. A fourth. All the air in your lungs suddenly felt like water. Your eyes narrowed. No… fucking… way. Were you dreaming? You were definitely dreaming. Right? No. A doppelganger! Had to be. Because there was absolutely, positively, just… no fucki-- “Hey… nice to meet you. I’m Kim Hongjoong. Well… Hongjoong… or just Joong, is fine, too.” Perfectly articulated english. Fuck…!

“Damnit! Okay, stop. Stop! … Arghhhh, shit!”, you exclaimed loudly as moments of light alternated with pitch blackness. The deep rumbling of thunder followed sharp flashes of lightning as the rain pelted the roof like bullets. The scrolling marquee across bottom of the television screen, read in bold print, warnings of the storm. “Yeah, yeah, yeah…”, you paused in the middle of the living room staring at the screen momentarily. It was rather rare that a strong storm hit your area like this. Much less a storm strong enough to possibly knock the power out. Retrieving your phone from your back pocket, you check the time. It was half past seven in the evening. The sun was already gone from the sky. Checking the time stamp from the last text you’d received from your cousin, it read a quarter past six. Andrew was always the most punctual person you’d known. Always early, hardly on time. When he’d messaged that he’d landed and would be at the door in less than an hour, that’s exactly what you were expecting. Excitement bubbled back up from your stomach as it had been quite some time since you’d seen him. He was your best friend. The big brother you never had, and never knew you needed. So his visits were always a big occasion for you. Especially this one. Your parents had left town for the weekend to visit relatives out of state. You offered to stay and watch the house and surprisingly, they didn’t argue. Now, the entire house was at your free reign for the next 3 days. Not that you had a massive house party planned or anything, but it would definitely be nice to have your own privacy and space. 

Still absent-mindedly glaring at your glowing phone screen, the shadows in your living room began to dance as headlights moved outside of the living room window. Finally! He’s here! A rush of adrenaline shot through your veins and within seconds you were swinging the front door open. “Hey!”, you called out into the steady rain. Huddling into yourself in an effort to shield from the wind, and crossing your arms against your chest as you squinted in the dim porch lighting, Andrew responded with equal excitement. “Hey, you! We got stuck waiting on our rental car!”. Wait ... ‘we’? As you inhaled a breath in preparation to interrogate him, you heard a second door slam shut on the vehicle. There was a dark figure walking alongside Andrew as they approached up the driveway. But… he didn’t mention he was bringing anyone else with him… right? As they stepped onto the porch you were finally able to make out your cousin’s familiarity. Tossing your arms around his neck, completely disregarding the fact that he was absolutely sopping wet from the rain, your happiness over powered all other thoughts in that moment. That is until… “So… uh… yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t mention something sooner. It was literally a last minute thing and I figured since we have the house all to ourselves…”, Andrew’s voice trailed off. Gesturing in the air with his hands as he pretty much failed to present a valid explanation and he knew it. Ceasing to speak and just shrugging his shoulders with his sweet endearing smile, you immediately cut your eyes to the personage situated directly to his left. 

You blinked twice. Then a third time. A fourth. All the air in your lungs suddenly felt like water. Your eyes narrowed. No… fucking… way. Were you dreaming? You were definitely dreaming. Right? No. A doppelganger! Had to be. Because there was absolutely, positively, just… no fucki-- “Hey… nice to meet you. I’m Kim Hongjoong. Well… Hongjoong… or just Joong, is fine, too.” Perfectly articulated english.

Fuck…!

Your skin was feeling like it had been set on fire, from head to toe. You stared. A little too hard. You had no idea how long the silence had been present. Andrew laughed awkwardly, snapping you out of your trance. “Yeahhh… so, uh… he’s a foriegn exchange student from Korea that got assigned to my dorm… we got pretty tight, and I didn’t think it would be an issue for him to just… yunno… tag along!” Trailing off, Andrew left you two standing there face to face in the whipping rain as he disappeared through the front door and into the house. Turning on your heels, you quickly followed him inside. Once all three of you were in the warmth and safety of the living room, you were literally unable to peel your eyes from your cousin’s guest. Emerging from the hallway after taking in their small amount of luggage, Andrew prepared to take his seat in front of the television on the couch when you suddenly sprung to your feet. Quickly making your way to Andrew, grasping onto the sleeve of his sweater, you yanked him up and into the kitchen. 

“Have you… any idea…. any… idea… who… that is?!” You tried so hard to keep your voice hushed and quiet. If hissing counted as quiet. Andrew shrugged his shoulders once again. “I mean, he said he was kinda famous in Korea… and that he sang and danced with a buncha other dudes or something… I don’t know…”, his tone of voice laced with nonchalant disinterest. Huffing you rolled your eyes with your hands balled into fists against your hips. “Look, it’s not a big deal, okay? Even he told me that… so… just treat him like a normal person, alright? He’s my best friend at school, and honestly… he’s pretty cool, actually.” You could not believe what you were hearing. Was this even reality right now? What kind of warped dimension was this?! A look of exasperation twisted up Andrew’s features as he gazed down at you. “He’s really chill, okay? Stop acting weird!”, Andrew remarked as he furrowed his brows. Turning and walking out of the kitchen, he left you speechless and still attempting to comprehend the gravity of the confirmation that was just handed to you. So it really is… it really IS him. 

Tapping your nails against the countertop you momentarily contemplated on texting your friends. No. They wouldn’t believe you anyways. What if you took some candids of him and posted them to your tumblr and twitter? Ew, no. That’s creepy. Super creepy. Besides… he’s on vacation… right. In YOUR HOUSE! But still… respect his privacy. And… respect yours. He’s just a regular human being, right? Just like you and your cousin. Sighing heavily and rubbing both of your palms against your face, you wring your hands out and calm yourself enough to walk back into the living room. Sitting yourself down in the same spot on the sofa that you were prior, tucking one leg underneath yourself, your eyes darted across the room and landed on Joong’s face. My god he was just as breathtaking as the fan cams and fan photos you’d filled your blog with. Gnawing on his thumb nail and slowly rocking back and forth in the lay-z boy recliner, his eyes suddenly dart from the television screen and meet yours. Oh, shit! Dropping his hand from his mouth, he offered a partial smirk from the corner of his lips. You unknowingly gasp to yourself. Clearing your throat loudly you whip your head in Andrew’s direction. “So… how long was the flight here? How’s school? What have you been up to…?”, you spouted questions at him. He was unusually quiet tonight. His stories were always mesmerizing and interesting to hear. But tonight the fatigue on his face and in his body language was as loud as a fog horn. Pursing your lips in frustration you looked upon him anticipating an engrossing conversation. “Oh, man… there’s so much. You have no idea…”, he paused momentarily. “I don’t even know where to begin, honestly… my brain is just mush right now, from being so tired.” You knew it. Nodding and looking at the floor, your eyes lift as Andrew rises to his feet. Patting his hands against the sides of his jeans he looks at you and then at Joong and with that, you already knew what was coming next. “Welp… I think I’m going to shower and take my happy ass to bed. I’ll catch you up on everything in the morning, alright? Don’t worry.” His gaze returns to your face. A subtle wink from his left eye has you feeling the urge to sock him right in the mouth, as he shuffles across the living room floor, turning into the hallway and becoming no longer visible. The awkward silence returned like an inevitable looming cloud. 

“If you don’t mind… I think I might lay down, too?”, Joong’s melodic voice finally slicing through the thick tension in the air. “Oh, y-yeah… yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”, you immediately respond. Wondering if there was something you could have said to keep him right in his place and possibly more entertained. “Okay… thanks. Uhm… if you don’t mind… I’m not sure… could you show me where… please?”. He began to sit up from this chair. His eyes steadily trained on you like a sniper. It was almost intimidating. “Oh, sure! I’m… I’m sorry! I’m just so used to Andrew knowing where to go around here, I just--”

“It’s okay…”, Joong immediately cut you off. His tone offering reassurance since it was rather obvious that you were feeling like a total failure of a host, at that point. His lips parting into an almost blinding smile. His features were literally so flawless. So sharp and so overwhelmingly attractive! He gestured with one hand for you to walk ahead of him. Pressing your lips together to stifle a smile that was going to be bigger than it should have, you pass him. His scent being carried in the wind. It was intoxicating. A mixture of masculine fragrance. Slightly spicy with undertones of cool blue water and crystal clear ice. 

You trek down the darkened hallway and turn a sharp right into the guest room. Flipping on a dim bed side lamp, you spin around anticipating to see his gorgeous face again. Hearing soft shuffling across the carpet, several seconds later, he appears. You swore he got more and more attractive every time you looked at him. Inhaling a deep breath, you gesture around the room, pointing at things and offering a short explanation of the sparse decor in the room when you hear the door click shut behind you. Immediately cutting your eyes towards the sound, you’re met with the most devilish grin you’d ever seen in your life. Air catches in your throat. The shadows casting against his handsome features literally have your heart racing. Your mind scrambled to find an explanation for the situation. Your fight or flight instinct was on a hair trigger, until his soothing and melodic voice cut through the silence like a knife. “Thanks… but I’m sure I can figure it out from here.” He nodded. You nodded. Anxiously weaving your fingers together. So… is he going to let you out then? You take an apprehensive step closer towards the door, but he stood stead fast. His back leaning against the wood. “Got something else to do for the rest of the night…?”. Hongjoong’s bottom lip becomes trapped between his teeth. How incredibly sinful. “No… not really…”, your mind on high alert. He raises a single eyebrow. Pushing himself forward off the door, he takes a slow, single step towards you. Dropping his chin and narrowing his piercing gaze, you were sure you stopped breathing. His jaw shifting left to right as he continued to gnaw at his lower lip. He takes another step towards you. Your mind urges you to take a step backwards, but your feet insist on rebelling. The space between you two quickly closing. Another step and— the air catches in your throat. He was absolutely stunning at this distance. Or rather… lack there of. Perhaps star struck, in your mind, you just knew that you probably looked like that emoji with huge heart eyes and a cheesy smile, gazing back at him. One of his hands comes forward. With his palm facing sideways and index finger slightly curled, he slides it underneath your chin. Lightly lifting up your head, he tilts his own to the right. His gaze darting between your eyes and your lips, Hongjoong ever so cautiously dips his head down. Pressing his lips against yours, your eyes immediately flutter shut. Registering the sensation at a slight delay, you’d only began to relish in the softness of his lips when the hand hooked underneath your chin, slides up and around to cup the nape of your neck. Instinctively your lips reciprocate. Molding against his in a seamless seal. Pulling away just as slowly as he brought himself in,  he presses his lips together and drags his tongue between them. Keeping his forehead pressed against your own, he whispers against your mouth, “....okay?”. The only response you can manage is to offer a single nod of confirmation. Within that same second, Hongjoong returns his lips to your own. This time, parting them slowly, his tongue slides out beyond his teeth and into your mouth. The unexpected, forcing a soft whimper from your throat. The most beautiful note to ever grace his ears. His other hand sliding from the side of your hip, under the bottom hem of your sweater, and coming to press against the small of your bare back. His skilled tongue tangling with your own. Your eyes flutter shut and you momentarily lose yourself in the intensity of the kiss. Without even realizing it, the edge of the mattress was pressing against the back of your knees. With his palm still pressed to your lower back, he gently guides your down onto the sheets. His lips moving in the same direction as he peppered feathery kisses along your jawline, and the side of your throat. Inevitably coming to focus in the crook of your neck, his lips creating a light suction against your flesh. Rotating his hips just right, Hongjoong managed to wedge his way between your thighs. With his left arm bent at the elbow propping himself up above you, his right hand gently slides down the length of your left arm. His hand soon finding your own and weaving his fingers within yours. With his lips never leaving your flesh, he trails his way down the center of your chest and into the valley between your breasts. Stopping short only on the cause of the neckline of your shirt. Lowering himself, his eyes cut to your own. Drinking in every reaction he could pull from, his teeth bite down on the bottom hem of your top. Raising himself back up towards towards your face, your shirt bunches up just under your bustline. Immediately returning to his previous position, his lips resume their connection to the sensitive skin of your tummy. Kissing his way down to the top elastic of your pj bottoms, he looks up once again. Hongjoong’s smoldering gaze rendered you barely coherent and it was getting more and more difficult to focus on anything. But there it was again. That sinful tongue of his. Allowing it to slip from his lips, he drags the tip of his tongue along the bottom of his top lip. Left. Right. Releasing your hand, both of his hook into the waistband of your bottoms. His eyes still fixed on yours, he quietly asks again. “...okay?”. Just as before, a quick and single nod of confirmation, and he’s tugging the material down. Leaning back and up on his knees, you rock your hips to assist in the removal. Pulling them off your ankles and dropping them to the floor bedside, he then crosses his arms, gripping the bottom hem of his shirt and yanks it up over his head. The metal dog tags around his neck clang loudly as they fall back onto his broad chest. Swallowing hard, your eyes shamelessly drink in the sight before you. Tossing his shirt to join your pj pants on the floor, he leans back down over your body. Scooting himself back to adjust his position, his head turns to the right and he continues his trail of feathery kisses starting at your knee, moving down the inside of your thigh and ending directly, dead center, at the crotch of your soaked panties. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, your gaze cuts off to the side, then back to him. Off to the side, then back at him. He purses his lips and presses them against the dampened material. The warmth of his breath sends shock waves all the way to your toes. Bringing a hand up between your bodies, his lithe fingers traces the lacy edge of the fabric. Hooking his index finger underneath the material, he pulls it to the side, fully exposing you to him, as his face sat literally inches away. Squeezing your eyes shut tightly, you swallow hard. Fuck… you shaved last night, right? Or… wait… was it the other day? No… it was this morning! It had to be-- “Auuhhhhnnn!….”, suddenly grounded back into reality as your body responded completely on it’s own, a soft moan spills from your lips as the tip of his tongue delves between your dripping folds. Lashing in an up and down direction, he laps at your core. His free hand coming up to gently pull your folds apart, as he flattens his tongue  against your swollen clit. Being able to hear nothing but your own heart beat pounding in your ears, laced with the lewd noises of sloshing wetness coming from between your legs, your chest rises and falls as your body jerks with each pass of his tongue. Strangle whimpers and drawn out whines tear from your throat as the coiling heat in the pit of your stomach churns. Tangling your fingers into the bedsheets on either side of you, you fight to keep your legs open for him. Feeling your thighs beginning to tremble, Hongjoong suddenly stops. Voiding you of any contact with him, you feel the mattress shift underneath you. Snapping your eyes open, just in time to lock gazes with him, he’s now hovering over you at eye level. Pressing your lips together tightly, that same wickedly seductive expression was plastered all over his face, as his tongue glides over his bottom lip. My god… he’s so beautiful. The dim lighting in your room proved to be a curse just as much as a blessing in that moment as you turned your head to the side, momentarily attempting to catch your breath. Catching his perfectly defined silhouette against the far wall, you admire every hard line as your eyes travel it’s length. Inevitably coming to settle on the shameless bulge on the front of his figure, your head whips back to face him. Holding himself up above you via on hand planted beside your head, his other hand was already wedged between your bodies, making quick work of the front of his pants. Searching his eyes, desperate for any kind of communication before anything else happened, he drops himself down towards you. His dewy lips brushing lightly against your own as the words trickle into your mouth. “You want this…?” In the same moment, you feel the large and smooth head of his cock toying between your soaked folds, just as his tongue had done, minutes earlier. 

Fuck! How could you not?! Temporarily unable to answer, as your eyes flutter shut, his lips press against your own and with his free hand gripping the hilt of his shaft, he continues to tease at your pussy. Skillfully rubbing circles against your clit with the tip of his cock, the friction was absolutely knee-buckling. Pushing your head back into the pillow to create enough space to break the kiss, you pant out the answer that you knew he was patiently waiting to hear. “Y-yes….”.

Without a second to spare and his reaction time seamless, Hongjoong rears his hips back, aligning himself with your entrance. Locking his lips against your own in a conscious effort to muffle the sounds that were to come, he applies pressure with his hips. Feeling yourself stretch around him as he entered you, you suck in a sharp breath through your nose, in return, moaning into his mouth. Your hands grip at his bare shoulder blades, feeling the muscles in his back flex as he thrusts forward. Ceasing his movements only once his lower pelvis leaned flush against the back of your thigh, it was obvious that he was silently at war to keep himself as still as possible, allowing your to adjust to him. Squeezing your floor muscles around his shaft, he suddenly breaks the kiss with a harsh gasp. His torso curls inward as his back bows against your fingernails, and his forehead presses against your collarbone. Seconds later, he blesses you with the sweetest sound you’d probably ever heard in your life. “Auhh-Auuugghhhnn… fuck!”, a lewd moan spills forth from him as he grits his teeth in his face. Panting heavily against your skin, your trail your hands down to each side of his hips as a gesture to let him know that you were okay. Only then did he begin to move. 

Starting with slow and shallow strokes, his body rocks gently against yours. His lips busy working the side of your throat. The slick sounds of flesh on flesh echo through your bedroom. Allowing you plenty of adequate time to take this at your own pace, you’re quick to sense that Hongjoong  was fighting to keep himself in tandem. Your hands slide from his hips down to hook into the back of his thighs and you begin to pull him into you with every inward stroke. Able to read the signals like a well memorized book, he begins to quicken the pace. Keeping flawless rhythm for several minutes to follow, it wasn’t until his movements began to stutter and stumble that you knew he was getting dangerously close. Clamping your muscles around him, his groans grew in volume and frequency. “Sh-Shit… Auugghnn…. Augghnnnnn!”, his voice becoming raspy and ragged. Eventually unable to keep your own climax at bay, you decided if you were going over the edge, you were taking him with you. 

Hongjoong’s thighs begin to quiver as your own begin to violently shake. Feeling the swell rise in the bottom of your belly, your back arches at a sharp angle off the mattress and your head tips back against the pillow. A feral moan rips from your throat as you toss yourself over the edge, spiraling head first into your orgasm. Feeling your muscles spasm around his thick shaft, his thrusts become uneven, breaking the prior pattern he’d kept before. Clinging on to each wave of your climax as they crash over you, his labored breathing rings in your ears. Peeking your eyelids open as you feel yourself beginning to come down from you high, there was nothing in this world that was going to make you miss watching him come unraveled. 

As his hips jerk back and forth, he presses harder and longer into you with each stroke. Finally feeling his cock begin to twitch deep in your core, he thrusts inward one last time before holding his body flush against your own. The arm planted beside your head buckles as he leans down onto his elbows. His face buried into the side of your neck, as a guttural moan shreds the quiet ambience of the room. “Hhhhggnn-AUUUHHgggggnnnnn!!! Auugghnnn! Mmmggghhnnn…. Fuck! Fuck!” Each hard jerk of his shaft accompanied with a lewd groan from his lips as he spilled himself inside of you. Immediate warmth coating every inch of your walls, as he unloaded. Struggling to keep enough air in his lungs, his hips rut against your body as his spasms become less frequent and further apart. Combing your fingers through his hair, soothing him as he began to come down from his climax, sweat collects along the ridge of his spine. 

As several minutes pass, he still remains buried deep inside of you. Looking up through sweat laced bangs, he offers a blissful smile. I literally cannot believe that just happened… am I dreaming? Nope. I asked myself that question before. I’m definitely awake. And he’s definitely right here. And… he’s definitely starting to get heavy-- Shifting yourself underneath him, he chuckles softly as a slightly apologetic expression takes over his sharp features. Looking down, he slowly pulls himself out. Hissing and taking his bottom lip between his teeth, as the slight friction faults a shiver down his spine, he flops to the sheets beside you. With your thighs slightly aching, your sit yourself up. Momentarily lightheaded, but still feeling the rush of the euphoria, you blindly grab at the edge of the covers. Tugging them up and over both of you, and adjusting your position to face him, you lay back down, tucking an arm underneath your head. Gazing at his stunning features, as he lay with his eyes closed, you lift yourself and lean towards him, placing a soft kiss to his forehead. Without bothering to open his eyes, his hand searches for your own. Entangling his fingers into yours once he finally did, he brings your hand up and presses his lips to back of your palm, refusing to let your hand go. Settling back into place, unsure if anything more should be said nor if anything more even needed to, considering how cryptic and quiet of a person he turned out to be, you simply whisper, “....wow.” No response, except for the soft purring of his slumber. 

[keylethwasleft]

Wise Mother, Coughing Infant

My first thought after I was born was "this feels familiar." 

Okay, yeah, I was just trying to make that sound dramatic and mysterious; my first thought was really billions and billions of thoughts all at once, but the familiarity of it was the real hook there. I guess that's not a really great way to demonstrate what I mean, though.

I was born in so many different ways and at so many different times, but I don't think this last one was technically "being born" so much as having the cosmos sorta mush its power into itself to figure out how I managed to exist where I did. I can only guess—what's it called, circumstantial evidence? One day, there was an empty piece of stretch of Death Valley, full of unhindered sagebrush, Joshua trees, and way more scorpions and coyotes than most people want to deal with. The next day, there was a human baby.

I wanna say that at the time I knew enough about living on Earth and being human and everything not to just start crying right away. I'd done it all before, you know? Plus, I did plenty of other species on top of that, and I could remember everything as far as my brains would let me. I at least remembered being a goldfish or a tiger or a whale or a mosquito. I wasn't the best at measuring time when I was doing those ones, on account of sea snails only barely know we're snails, let alone know how long a "year" is, as decided by some random animals on a planet bigger than I could've conceptualized. Do you know what a sea snail's brain looks like? Neither do I! A sea snail has no reason to know!

The point is, I had all this experience and memory to look back on, but it didn't help. It all hit me at once like a shot. It just made me feel like... It's just not something that happens, you know? And all I could think about was what it felt like to smell and taste things as a housefly, or a hundred houseflies, and I had every opinion anything could possibly have about that. And I was a baby and a parent that could remember what it was like to miscarry, and a parent that could remember holding my newborn twins, and a pregnant feral cat looking for a safe place to lay for a while.

There's so much time stretched through my head at once now, I still kinda don't remember a lot about the timeline between being a cosmically manifested nightmare baby and becoming the Coughing Infant. Someone calling herself the Wise Mother found me pretty soon after. That's something I know for sure, but she sure as anything on or off the Earth ain't the Wise Mother for real. I never bought into that hoax—or at the very least I had doubts most of the time—but she was the only one that knew what I was. That counted for something, I guess. I really didn't have a lot of options. Most newborn humans don't get a lot of freedom of choice, even if they have memories that exist eons longer than they have.

She named her messed up orphanage after me before I even knew it was my name. I mean, I had so many, I could barely manage not to react to every name I heard. Pretty sure most of them I might not have ever even had. Some of them might've just been regular words, actually.

But like, the orphanage was called Wise-Mother-Coughing-Infant, and it started as something that...

Okay. I wanna be really clear about something: memory isn't my strong suit. Getting this all in words is just as bad 'cause I can barely remember what point I was trying to make when I'm halfway through a thought. And I know, I know all of this definitely sounds like I'm trying to blow a bunch of smoke or like I'm delusional or trying to sell you something, but if you don't believe me, you can just toss this letter in the garbage and get on with your day.

The town, though. She told me it was supposed to start as an orphanage, and I don't even think she was saying that to talk down to me because she knew I wasn't a real child and she wasn't a real Mother. I think that was just a side effect. It was always a lie or a metaphor or a mix of the two though, because the first building there was a radio tower. I was barely managing speech around then, but I couldn't figure out how to comment on the fact that the thing wasn't constructed. It just was.

But all I said in my stumbling, stuttering child's voice was, "This doesn't look childproofed."

It feels so stupid looking back, even if now I know for sure the Wise Mother didn't actually care if I said something embarrassing like 24 years ago. I think it was probably more memorable dealing with this nightmare baby who simultaneously could and couldn't manage complex thought and fine motor control. I don't even know if that thing was capable of embarrassment, anyway.

Anyway, you might guess that the radio signals coming from that tower started all the awful things that happen in this town. You'd be completely wrong, but you might guess that. The truth is, the radio signals started the town itself to begin with. Everything else is the same as the way the Wise Mother talks up and around you and through you without meaning to. A side effect. The town itself is its own awful thing.

Wise-Mother-Coughing-Infant was only the tower, then I blinked, and I was learning how to speak, and there were other buildings. A motel, a pit stop, a casino. Just a few basics. Supplies and short entertainment for the typical Mojave traveler. The words I spoke to the people that actually passed through weren't English, though. I didn't understand that, either. I couldn't figure out why the people I spoke to never understood what I was saying. I don't even remember what it was. Probably four languages all at once, for all I know.

That's sort of how the town came to be, too. It was just basics, like a messed up baby of pure cosmic circumstance learning to stand on its own two legs, but then it starts thinking maybe it actually had four. People went through, though. They took it in stride. Not a lot of tourists heading to Reno, exactly, not like it is now. Mainly truck drivers making stops on their routes. People moving between cities for business or family. If a kid you don't know starts meowing and walking on all fours, you think it's kind of funny for a second, and you go on with your day, you know. It's that dry weirdness you expect on a night drive through a nothing-nowhere town in Nevada. Not even notable enough to tell your spouse about when you finally get some cell service.

But the radio kept pumping information to the town. By the time I realized I remembered how to work the sails of a ship despite having never seen the ocean, it was a fully realized ghost town, one big enough to catch your notice real fast. But it was more than that. The memory came to me when I realized salt was in the air, and it was still arid as any part of the desert could be, enough to make you cough, but I swore I could hear the braying of seagulls when I went to bed that night.

It took a while, but eventually I started to hate how much I had to depend on the Wise Mother for. I knew too much about the world for what and where I was, for how long I'd been in it. I knew the taste of copper in cotton fiber. I remembered thinking it was nutritious, and that was the only thing that mattered to me. I knew what flying above the clouds felt like. I knew what kind of vertigo you could feel past the point of vertigo, a millisecond after your parachute fails. I knew war and disease. I knew power and how little I had ever had. And even though my body had finally grown into something resembling a human, I could hardly do what other humans did. Ones my own age. Ones much younger or older.

I can't describe to you the knowledge of what a phantom limb feels like, but a lot of people feel like they understand it even if they've never felt it. People talk about it 'cause it sounds so fake, right? But it's real to so many. I kind of get pissed off thinking about it, because I feel like a sham when I know I have two arms and two legs, ten fingers and toes, but I'm still trying to compare it to that. But I've felt that before, in bodies before this one. Maybe it's still insensitive. Maybe I've written way too much in one sitting and my mind's racing faster than I can move.

My handwriting sucks. I used to be a calligrapher. I just can't hold a pen the way I know I could before, even if it wasn't in the past century.

I have to take so many breaks and even so I'm way more independent from that thing pretending to be a Mother now. I can't remember a lot, but I'm pretty sure I know exactly when the last time I saw her was. The radio tower is really big, you know, so it's more like I'm living in the same building than we actually live together. I can leave if my body's feeling up to it. She doesn't stop me. I don't think she cares a lot about what I do, just that I am. I still don't fully get what that even is, but I still think she wanted me to be more.

She still sometimes calls this place an orphanage. I think she might really believe it is one. I think how much she doesn't get about the world is the most dangerous thing about this place.

I think none of what I’ve been writing even makes sense anymore. I don’t know what I thought I was going to accomplish by writing this to you. I guess I thought you might make some sense of it. Maybe what I really wanted was to tell even one person and lie to myself that they could ever really get it. I guess I miss knowing other people. Humans get that way a lot. I should know, I am one, right?

If I actually send you this, then you know where to find me. Try not to die before that happens.

—Coughing Infant

[brokemultidotexe]

Second Chances Pt.5 | JJK

↬ Pairing: idol!jungkook x reader

↬ Summary: Even though it scared you, you knew you couldn’t walk away again. Big Hit allowed you to go on tour with the boys but with the promise to keep your relationship with the boys hidden from the public eye. The saying “good things never last” rings true as rumors of a secret romance makes its way online and suddenly the boys lives are put under a microscope and threats start pouring in. Jungkook does everything in his power to make sure you’ll stay, but what happens when the one thing you feared most comes true? [sequel to Unexpected]

↬ Word Count: 3.3k

↬ Warning/Rating: None/T

↬  Genre: Romance/Friendship

↬  Part: Trailer | Prologue [1 / 2] | 1 | 1.5 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

You enjoyed the few days you were able to steal with JK. You ended up spending quite a bit of time alone while the boys finished promoting while they were in America. Their growth in popularity surprised you. The six months you spent trying to escape everything BTS, ended up being when they exploded globally.

You found yourself missing JK more and more, and the more time you spent with him you didn't know how the two of you could handle the distance. When the boys had interviews you stayed at the hotel waiting for them to come back. It was during one of those times that Bang PD dropped by JK’s room to talk to you.

“Are you enjoying your time here?” he asked with a smile as the two of you sat at the small table off to the side.

“Very much so...It’s been nice being able to see everyone again.” you gave him a hesitant smile. You weren’t sure why he had stopped by and your mind was thinking of all the worst scenarios. Would he ask you to stay away from JK and never talk to him again? The thought alone made your stomach sink.

“I know everyone has enjoyed seeing you again, especially Jungkook. The change in him since you’ve been here is astronomical. It’s been nice to have him smiling again and showing the passion he had lost during the time you two have been apart.”

You felt the need to interrupt, “Please know that I never meant to cause such a disruption within the group and staff. I thought I was doing the right thing for the both of us.” you looked down at your hands folded in your lap.

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty Y/N. I see why you did it and if it was anyone else I would have said that you probably did the right thing, but when Jungkook is passionate about something he’s all in. He doesn’t do anything halfway and when it comes you, you are everything to him. We had many talks throughout the whole time he was struggling and I came to realize just how important you were to him and that this wasn’t some meaningless relationship that wouldn’t last.” he gave you an encouraging smile. “I’m not here to be the bearer of bad news Y/N. It’s actually the opposite. I had a meeting with the staff about our next destination during this tour and all of them were very happy with the way you had handled the award show for all of us. I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in being a part of our team as an interpreter for the duration of the tour.”

Your eyes went wide with shock. A job offer was the last thing you expected to hear “...wait, what?” you stuttered.

He laughed, “I’m asking if you want to be the boy’s interpreter for the rest of the tour. This would mean you would travel with boys and the staff and help out anyone that needed it.”

You leaned back in your chair as you continued to try and wrap your head around what he was asking. Being an interpreter for Big Hit was a huge opportunity and you knew this type of opportunity didn’t come around very often. You were so excited to be able to have the opportunity to do something you loved and that would allow you to travel.

“Y/N this would allow you to be with Jungkook instead of having to be apart again, but I feel the need to remind you of my original request when the two of you came to me. If you do decide to be part of the tour then you both will have to make sure that the public doesn’t find out. We don’t want a dating scandal to surround the boys. We want the spotlight to be on their music and who they are as people, not about the fact they are dating someone. Please don’t misunderstand this as I don’t want the two of you together because that’s not what I'm saying. I think the two of you are great together, but I'm requesting this from a CEO standpoint.”

You understood why he requested that from the two of you, but it didn’t suck any less. Would going on tour with him cause distractions? Would you be able to handle the fans and what they say? Would the stress of the tour cause strain on your relationship? A million thoughts were going through your mind to the point that forming an answer was difficult.

“How about you think about it and you let me know?” He stood up and you looked up at him.

You watched as he turned to leave, “Wait!” his hand hovered over the door handle. “I’ll do it. I’ll be an interpreter for Big Hit.” you blurted out. Apparently, your heart knew what it wanted because you felt like you hadn’t decided yet, but the thought of giving up the opportunity and not seeing JK for a while scared you.

Bang PD turned and smiled at you, “I will tell them to get the paperwork ready and you can sign it later today.”

“Is it okay if I'm the one that tells him?” you felt excitement at getting to see his face when he found out.

“Of course. I’ll make sure to tell the staff to keep it a secret for now.”

“Thank you.” you stood and bowed deeply.

He smiled and left the room after telling you that the boys are done with the schedules and should be back soon. You decided to lay on the bed and let everything that just happened sink in even more. You couldn’t believe that you just landed your dream job and it allowed you to be next to JK. It didn’t take long before you sobered up and realized that you were going to have to tell your parents that you were leaving again and you weren’t sure when you would be back since Big Hit was constantly adding more dates because the demand for tickets is so high. You closed your eyes and sighed, hopefully, your mother would take it better the second time around. You still remembered her break down over you no longer living there after you decided to stay even longer than you originally planned. You couldn’t help that you fell in love with more than just Korea.

You heard a beep and knew that JK was back from the interviews. Both of you smiled when your eyes connected. You still had a flutter in your stomach every time you saw him. The saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is totally true. JK dropped everything he was holding and crawled on the bed and pulled you to lay down and wrapped his arms and legs around you. “I feel like my brain is mush after all those interviews. I really should have studied English more.”

You laughed and ran your fingers through his hair. You knew the struggle of foreign languages and their sudden rise in western popularity caused all of them to have to sharpen their English skills in a short period. “It gets better, plus you have me here.”

JK buried his face in your neck, “Having you here is the best thing ever, but I can’t take you to interviews with me.” His head shot up startling you, “Oh! We can lock the interpreter in a closet somewhere and you can pose as our interpreter.” he nodded to himself, “I like this plan.”

You looked at him with a knowing smile and it solidified your feelings over going on tour with them. “When do you guys leave?” The smile and happiness fell from his face quickly as the awful truth came up.

JK ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “Tomorrow.” you felt bad for making him feel this way but you really wanted to surprise him and giving such good news after bad news was the best thing you could think of. “Can we go and beg the staff to find some more interviews? I’ll torture myself with English for a whole day if it gave me just a few more hours with you. He looked in your eyes and your heart skipped a beat. He had always made you feel so loved even when he wasn’t trying.

“Well…” you let your statement hang in the air until he raised an  eyebrow waiting for you to continue, “what if I just accept Bang PD’s job offer of being an interpreter for Big Hit for the rest of the tour?”

He sat up quickly and looked down at you, “What?”

You sat up so you were eye level with him, “Bang PD came here to talk to me less than an hour ago. He offered me a job to work as an interpreter for the staff during the rest of the tour. I mean I don’t know what will happen after that or if--”

You were surging forward before and before you could completely register what happened your lips crashed into his. You expected words from him but the feeling of his lips moving on yours spoke louder than words. He pulled you closer and broke the kiss to put his forehead against yours.

“Please tell me I didn’t hear you wrong,” he whispered desperately.

“You didn’t hear me wrong,” you said squashing his worries.

You had been surprised before when he pulled you into a kiss but that seemed miniscule compared to now. He pulled you closer and flipped the both of you over so he was on top of you. He caged you in underneath him and the air around the two of you changed when your eyes met. “I love you.” He leaned down and placed his lips on yours. This kiss was different than any of the other kisses the two of you had shared. Most of them being rushed but passionate kisses or quick pecks here and there. Instead of you being against a hotel room wall your back was pressed against the bed and kissed you deeply. As if all the feelings he had kept stored away because of the circumstances was now flooding out and you felt overwhelmed.

He positioned himself so he could slide his fingers into your hair and you felt a light tug causing you to moan and you could feel him fisting the comforter beneath you. Your fingers were itching to touch him so you ran your hands up his arms as he continued to kiss you deepening it even more. This is what happiness felt like and it felt good to finally feel at home again. You had never been so sure of a decision as he pulled back and looked down at you and smiled. Seeing the pure happiness in his eyes made everything the two of you went through to get to this moment worth it. You knew that you never wanted to be a part from him again and made a promise that you would do everything to make sure the two of you never had to experience that pain again.

AN: I know it’s been forever since I updated this story and I’m so sorry! I had major writer's block with it. I'm going to do my best to try and not have so much time between this and ch.6. I hope you all enjoyed it and it was worth the wait!

[robobrainmurdermysterytheatre]

Do ALL the OC things!

I was tagged by @suplexranger and @marvilus73 and @commonwealthhero in a few different OC things recently and I am a creature of efficiency so I have mushed all the things together to make one OC post because that sounded fun!

I’m tagging you guys back for whatever parts you didn’t do if you want to do them (or do them again!!!) and y’all that I’m pretty sure have OCs if you haven’t done any of these @red-king-4 @humans-are-friends-not-food @infamy-and-plunder @lamorellenoire6 @tatosoup @ashleyanthrax @nukenai @lobselvith8 @purple-martin111 @theredalice @angeliquedevive @rakimaiirisa ~~ I lowkey stalk some of your OCs ngl 😏 As always no pressure on doing it and IF I MISSED ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT FOR THEIR OC @ me because I love all your brain children they are amazing. 

Of COURSE it’s about my favored child Jack Daniel 

It’s long so go under the cut 👇

(There are also more pictures😏)

OC Profile

NAME: Jack Daniel O’Kelley

NICKNAME: Jackie, Jackie O, General Jackoff

AGE: 24

SPECIES: Human

PERSONAL

MORALITY: Somewhere in the neighborhood of Neutral/Chaotic Good

RELIGION: It’s  c o m p l i c a t e d. Raised Catholic and really wants to believe there is a loving God, but believes more likely than not there isn’t. He’s super mad at organized religion, though.

SINS(greed/gluttony/sloth/lust/pride/envy/wrath): Lust, wrath, gluttony (not for food but for drugs and alcohol)

VIRTUES(chastity/charity /diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice): Kindness, patience (for certain people and things), justice, charity

KNOWN LANGUAGES: English, Latin, Chinese

PHYSICAL

BUILD (scrawny/bony/slender/fit/athletic/curvy/herculean/pudgy/plus size/average): fit/athletic Prewar and coming out the vault, but he gets pretty scrawny because malnutrition in the wasteland is a thing

HEIGHT: 5'11

SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: His one scar from before the war he got in Anchorage by standing up and hitting his head on a suit of power armor he was repairing (very heroic battle scar, I know). During the game he gets clawed in the face by one of Kellogg’s synths during that fight, and that’s where the scars on the left side of his face come from. He later loses his right arm via grenade in the Battle for Bunker Hill which also left a new scar on the right side of his face.

ABILITIES/POWERS: Extremely mechanically and technically talented and pretty fuckin’ charismatic. Better than decent at sniping. After his quasi-religious LSD trip courtesy of the Children of Atom in Far Harbor his eyes changed color, radiation began to heal him and sometimes ferals are friendly (I legit saved my level points to max out the Ghoulish perk at that point for this like a pro RPer)

FAVORITES

FOOD: Sugar Bombs

PIZZA TOPPING: Hawaiian 

COLOR: Red

MUSIC GENRE: Rock and roll ❤ applies regardless of if we’re talking about in-universe 50′s style music or the IRL genre

MOVIE GENRE: Sci Fi! 

CURSE WORD: FUCK, also son of a bitch

SCENTS: cigars, BBQ, leather

FUN STUFF

BOTTOM OR TOP: Why not both? 🤷‍♂️ Both is good 👍

SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes. And on the road. And when building settlements. And while modding guns. And while doing anything, really.

LIKES PUNS: Will absolutely bug Codsworth for at least a solid hour to hear his puns and laugh like an idiot at all of them every time.

OC Phrases: Bold the phases that you connect with one of your ocs.

SIGHT. small towns. big cities. six thirty curfews. lights that take the place of stars. blanket nests. light through the blinds as a wake up call. found family. finding a single star in the middle of new york city. window shopping. watching something terrible and enjoying it. growing numb to the sight of injustice. wilted flowers. faded caricatures. bright, bold colours.

HEARING. crickets and lightning bugs. car engines and a / c units. a phone call to mum / dad. laughing with friends. jokes that are so bad you have to laugh. the clicking of computer keys. noise canceling headphones. the sound of silence. muffled music from another room. drumming fingertips on a table. the clicking of pens. listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower. ringing in the ears. the voice of someone you love. pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH. being held close during a long night. fleeting reassurances. holding hands when you’re scared. brushing fingers through strands of hair. freshly dried clothes. bruises on your knuckles. silk and satin. your favourite pet’s fur or feather. wringing your hands anxiously. snuggles. comforters in the dead of winter. nails against skin. cold metal. leather in summer.

TASTE. coffee in the morning. tea in the evening. bubblegum that lost its flavor. alcohol burning the back of your throat. homemade cooking, no matter what’s made. blood in your mouth. stale air. mint. fresh vegetables. that processed taste of citrus candy. the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good. foreign sweets. fast food. bittersweet. sour. spicy. sweet. bitter. too much salt on fries.

OC and Songs

Avenged Sevenfold - Strength of the World

“Strength of the world! is on my shoulders Strength of the world! is on my side Strength of the world! the one true beholder Ice in my veins! for those who've died I've seen my family fade away, you've taken my whole life There's nothing left to say Avenge the dead. killed all who cross me in my path Suicidal, I never planned on coming back I want it, I need it, revenge is dripping from my teeth Need nothin', to feel power, and bring the killers to their knees Nothin' ta lose vengeance ta gain (you know I'll never be the same) So taste my breath I'm close behind you (so desperate on your final day) Sorrow swallows my screams Sitting in silence with heaven above me, I prayed every night by their graves While I search for closure I feel it no longer I can't turn my cheek away I stand before you; I'll sin when I have to But now I leave your side, to avenge my family's pride “

I was trying to pick a handful of songs and I couldn’t so I’m gonna dump a medium-sized not-comprehensive/exhaustive list 👇

Greenday - 21 Guns // Sia - Elastic Heart // A Perfect Circle - Imagine // Hozier - Arsonist’s Lullaby // Radiohead - Wolf at the Door // Tool - Schism // Kesha - Spaceship // Whitesnake - Here I Go Again // Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory // David Bowie - Heroes // Roger Miller - King of the Road // Frank Sinatra - My Way

[martyrblood]

5, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 24!!

5. do you listen to music while you write?I don’t need music while I write, but sometimes I have it on? At a low volume or something instrumental like post-rock, because I have p bad ADHD and I can’t listen to lyrics and write at the same time lol

9. have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?UMMMM maybe? Not like, Super drunk or high lol, but probably have written replies just a little bit buzzed. When I’m actually Intoxicated I cannot type anything recognizable as English or any other human language

10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?Tbh sometimes I don’t proof-read at all lol, but when I do, I guess I’m more likely to do it at the end, quickly

11. when you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?I like to have all of the major beats of a thread planned out before I start it. As in like, I like to know the setup, the possible points of conflict, and the desired outcome. Unless it’s settled ahead of time, I don’t like to be blindsided or dragged off into the weeds. Also important to me to have an open line of ooc communication with the other mun during the thread so we can stay on track and not step on each other’s toes.

12. is there ever been a time when you’ve had to drop a roleplaying partner because you’ve found their writing style exhausting?Yeah lol,,,, see previous question. I’m likely to drop a thread if the mun is communicating poorly or they aren’t doing their part to move the thread forward. I understand that plot isn’t a major priority for every writer, some people enjoy conversation and improvisation more, but that’s the sort of thing that can frustrate me, especially in a “Serious” thread or if I don’t know the mun super well.

13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?UH if I think someone might read it, yeah lol. I have a lot of anxiety about strangers reading my writing (even keeping my rp blogs on public is a huge passive stressor sometimes) but I’ll write on my phone occasionally if nobody’s over my shoulder.

14. what do you do after you see a person has replied? do you read it immediately, or do you wait for it to show up on the dash? do you like it, draft it immediately, etc?I read replies immediately (or as soon as I know they’re there) but I’m slow at replying lol. This is slightly weird, but sometimes if I’m really excited for a reply… it takes me longer to read it? Like I want to savor it or draw it out I guess? So I’ll read little bits over a period of sometimes hours lol. If the other mun isn’t too impatient.

17. what is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?The biggest obstacle that keeps me from writing every day is that I don’t really like to write lol which I know sounds kinda harsh but writing is not… an activity I can do passively or effortlessly, it takes a lot of energy and effort for me to do it, it drains me quickly, etc. If I had to write a novel it would take me 10 years easily. I want to be able to read a thread at the end and feel like we did a good job, I want to be able to develop my characters and plot ideas with people, but the actual writing part isn’t my favorite lol.

24. what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?God it’s been so long since I tumblr rp. Um… I guess the only formatting I do is make sure there’s only the latest reply on my reblog? Oh also I bold the other person’s url I dunno why it just makes it easier for me to read I have ADHD mush brain idk

[symphonyofmars]

House of the Dead 6

Woah when the person you like likes you back and your brain turns to mush and your heart feels like it’s gonna explode...

Get it together, kid.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, NOTE

MASTERLIST

Word count: 3,470

Fandom: Riverdale

Characters: Malachi, OC (Woman), Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Cheryl, Toni, Penny

Pairings: Cannon show pairings (as of the end of season 2), Malachi/OC

Warnings: None for this chapter. I have one vote for smut so there may be smut (as soon as I remember how to write smut O_O)

After driving home that night, Malachi didn’t get much sleep. Regardless of that fact, he was still at East Greendale Library at 10am, having parked his car at Persephone’s house at 9:45 and walked there with her. Persephone opened the door just as he turned off the car and got out.

“So you just came here hoping I would be leaving the house at this time?”

“It looked like a fifteen-minute walk from your house and I thought maybe you’d like someone to walk with,” he took her tote bag of extra books off her shoulder as they walked, leaving her to carry her backpack. “See? I can carry your stuff for you.”

“You are just so very weird.”

Malachi laughed.

“Are all guys raised by their grandmother like this?”

“Like what?”

“Secretly old gentlemen.”

He laughed again.

“I’m half expecting you to pull out a pipe and tell me about ‘the good ol’ days.’”

“You’re kicking my foot.”

“Sorry.”

Persephone went back to writing and wrote two more sentences before she could no longer stand the thock, thock, thock, of Malachi’s boot hitting hers. She looked up from the notes she was making and smiled wryly. “You’re still doing it.”

Malachi smiled back. “It was an accident, I swear.”

“Uh huh.”

The library wasn’t very large, but it had accommodations for hundreds of books and was filled with ways to appreciate both the english language and the community that utilized the library. There were handmade posters with recommended books, new books, and activities for all ages. There were children’s reading areas with plush cushions and low kiddie tables and chairs. There were study areas, tables arranged in lines with four chairs each, some had computers and some didn’t.

That was where Malachi and Persephone were seated; her with books strewn around her, him with only two.

“You know, if you wanted to come here to flirt with me you could have just said so. Then I wouldn’t have shown up,” Persephone said with a laugh.

Malachi chuckled. “Maybe we could go somewhere else and flirt instead.”

Persephone smiled and went back to taking notes from her textbook.

Malachi re-read his copy of Lord of the Flies for a few moments before he got bored and decided to ask the question that had been bothering him since he arrived at her house earlier.

“Why do you come here to study?”

“Why?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s what a library is for, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… but you have a house. Why not study there if you don’t want anyone to bother you?”

She shrugged. “Normally no one bothers me.”

He nudged her foot with his. “Come on. Why bring all of this stuff here?”

She looked at him, then at the sea of books, papers, and office supplies around her. “It’s… nice to not be in an empty house.”

Malachi’s mouth opened in alarm. He thought he should change the subject.

“What are you studying?”

“Biology.”

“Do you like it or are you just trying to get a good grade?”

“Can’t it be both?’ Persephone answered without looking up.

Malachi vaguely wondered if he should leave.

“It’s not… ” Persephone started, Malachi’s sudden attention on her making her freeze. “I know my mom is always working to make sure we even have a house, but it’s like… what’s the point if she’s never in it, you know?”

He nodded.

“I’m not ungrateful, but I also know I can’t convince her to stop working so much. I like being financially secure, but I also like having my mom around.”

He nodded again, slower this time.

Persephone went back to making notes. For about five minutes before she put her pencil down.

“I can’t concentrate.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No. But now I’m thinking about things and… I can’t concentrate on studying.”

“Mm… want to help me?” He brandished his book at her.

“I thought you finished it.”

“I did but now I’m having trouble with the paper. I don’t understand the themes.”

“Well… think of it in the sense of the characters and what they represent. Ralph represents civilization and humanity’s need take the chaos of life and turn it into something constructive. The other side of the coin, Jack, is humanity’s savage instinct, he’s barbaric and cruel and manipulates the younger boys.”

“So it’s like… is that ‘nature verses nurture’? I’ve heard people say that before but I don’t really know what it means.”

“Mmm… that’s more so the debate on if we’re born with our personality or if we develop it over time as we move through life. To explain in a succinct way.”

“Ah.”

“This is more the battle of civilization verses savagery. Should we do things for the benefit of the group? Or should we gratify our own desires and ‘fuck everyone else,’ you know?”

“I guess that explains why they want us to read it.”

“I mean, yeah. If you can get a bunch of teenagers to empathize with Ralph and dislike Jack because he gets some of the boys killed, that’s probably a good thing.” She laughed.

Someone across the room shushed them.

“Hmm…” Malachi thought for a moment.

Persephone went back to making notes from her Biology textbook, her mind less cluttered than before.

“So then… then the book is kind of like Ralph.”

She looked up. “How so?”

“Well… it’s that thing the teacher was talking about, an… ally…”

“Allegory?”

“Yeah. Where each character means something so the story means something.”

“Yeah,” it is.

“So the book is kind of like… trying to show us that we should prefer civilization over savagery because civilization keeps everyone alive and gets things done.”

“Yeah. Like if I just said screw it and didn’t do this biology studying, right? I just knocked all these books off the table and went outside and like, I don’t know, went and just played a ton of video games and ate a ton of junk food and just never came back and didn’t graduate, like… yeah that might be fun while I’m doing it but it would be so hard to get a job later without a high school diploma. And I’d have a bitch of a time trying to get into college.”

Malachi nodded at her explanation until she lost him at the last part. “You want to go to college?”

She nodded back. “Yeah. I want to make something of myself and be able to leave here at some point. At the very least, I just want to have one well-paying job and vacation time so I can actually enjoy my life.”

“Wow. And I was having a hard time figuring out what my extracurricular class was going to be,” he laughed.

“Well… which one seems interesting?”

“I was thinking maybe the auto classes? I like cars and fixing stuff so…”

Persephone smiled. “That’s a great idea. You should do something you enjoy doing.”

Malachi straightened up and his mood brightened. “Yeah, and I think that I could do it as a job and also work on my own stuff. You know, make money and do something I love, so it would be cool.”

“Yeah.”

A man who looked to be in his thirties walked over with a handful of books. Malachi could see from his name tag that he was called Daniel and that he worked there.

“Heyyy, Seph. How’s studying?”

“Hey Daniel. Pretty good.”

“Who’s this?”

“This is Malachi. He’s helping distract me.”

“Ahh,” a vocalization drawn out with a raised brow and a knowing smirk. “So, I have a couple books to sort, but then I have a good literary fact for you today.”

“Okay. We’ll be here.”

Daniel smiled and walked into one of the ‘Librarians Only’ areas with his books.

Malachi leaned in, “That’s the guy you told me about?”

“Yeah. We should work on our stuff quick before he gets back, he’ll blab for a while.”

Malachi did as advised and worked on his paper, while Persephone went back to her Biology notes.

After about fifteen minutes Daniel came back and sat at the table, a smug look on his face.

“So, are you ready for this one?”

Persephone closed her textbook on her notes. “Yes.”

“Charles Dickens?”

“Yes.”

“Hans Christian Anderson?”

“Yes.”

Malachi looked from Persephone to Daniel. “I don't get it.”

“Just checking if you know who they are.”

Malachi didn't but he wasn’t about to admit it. If he were being honest, he kind of wanted Daniel to go away. Not that he was jealous or anything – Daniel was obviously older than them and Persephone was clearly not interested in him in that way – but it was nice to talk to Persephone outside of the school cafeteria. He also wanted to talk about how they ended the night before.

That kiss had kept him up for most of the night, agonizing, wondering if he was insane for liking her as much as he already did, trying to talk himself out of it. Was he being too forward? Not forward enough? During the school week had heard one of the guys in the locker room tell another guy, “Dude, you should never let a girl know you like them because it gives them too much power.” He stood there on the other side of the lockers and listened as he asked his friend, “Dude, do you want her to have power over you?” and told him, “If a girl has power over you, you're a goner.” But in all the explanation the guy had for his friend – minutes of meaningless sentences and statements that he said like they were irrefutable facts that made Malachi honestly wonder if maybe the guy disguised a hatred of women – he couldn't figure out just why telling a girl you liked them made you a goner, or what it even meant to be ‘a goner’. If being a goner was having a girl like you back, going on dates, talking about life and everything else, and you got to make out and stuff, he didn’t really give a shit. He was more than happy to be a goner.

“Okay, so,” Daniel continued, “in 1847, Hans Christian Anderson went to England for the first time and went to the party of the Countess of Blessington.”

“That name is almost too English.”

“Right? It’s like a fake name. Anyway, it was one of those salon-type parties where authors would go to meet each other and talk about being authors, and he met Charles Dickens there. They both wrote about poor people and how hard it was to be poor during the industrial revolution, and Anderson loved Dickens’ work so he just gushed when he met him.”

Persephone nodded.

“Anderson went home and they kept in touch for ten years and then Anderson went back to England again, to visit Dickens for a few days, and ended up staying at his house for five weeks.”

Persephone laughed. “Oh no.”

“Yeah. Eventually he was bothering Dickens’ family so much that he kicked him out and ghosted him slowly and Anderson never knew why he didn't answer his letters.”

“Aww, poor guy. I mean, you shouldn’t stay at someone’s house for over a month unless they ask you to, but he probably thought they were good friends.”

Daniel chuckled, “Yeah. At some point he was apparently crying in Dickens’ front yard because something he wrote got rejected. So obviously they wanted him to leave.” He stood. “Anyway, that's my literary thing for today. I have more books to re-shelve.”

“That was pretty good, see you around.”

Malachi smiled as Daniel waved goodbye to them before picking up more books to put away. He turned to Persephone who was opening her textbook to continue her notes.

“That was pretty random.”

“Yeah, I think they always have to do with whatever he’s reading at the moment.”

“He didn’t stay around for that long.”

“Yeah… maybe because you’re here.”

Malachi wondered if he was blushing and if he should finally ask about the night before when Persephone opened her textbook and went back to her note-taking. He decided not to bother her and went back to his paper.

They stayed there until 4pm when Persephone’s stomach had finally growled loudly enough to make her admit that maybe she was hungry and had to go home to eat. She and Malachi walked back to her house.

After a few minutes he finally got up the courage to ask what had been bothering him all morning.

“So… are we going to talk about yesterday?”

“What about it?”

“That kiss.”

She smiled. “What about it?”

He smiled. “It was pretty great.”

“It was.”

“Maybe… we could do it again sometime?”

“Maybe.”

“Does this make us…” he gestured uselessly.

“’Make us’ what?” She mimicked his gesture.

“Are we dating?”

She stopped in her tracks. “Well…”

Malachi had a sudden sense of fear wash over him that he didn’t know how to control. He suddenly feared the answer and wished he hadn’t asked.

“We’ve only been on one date, so I guess after our second one, then we’ll be dating.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Because ‘dating’ implies multiple dates—”

He hadn’t meant to interrupt her, but suddenly his face was on hers and neither was speaking. Her bag of books slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor spilling the contents. His hands at her waist, he tightened his grip and lifted her up, her feet barely touching the ground. Both of them were dully aware of the books falling and though the back of Persephone’s brain yelled at her for possibly damaging the covers, the rest of her brain did not give a shit and continued kissing Malachi back.

After a few moments he pulled away, releasing her back to the ground. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

She shook her head, smiling. “That’s okay.”

She stooped to pick up her books and he immediately followed suit and helped her.

“So, does this mean you’re asking me out?”

She laughed. “I suppose it does.”

Malachi smiled. “Can I walk you home?”

Persephone laughed again. “You are walking me home, you goober.”

Malachi realized his mistake and smiled bashfully.

“Why do you do things like that?”

“Like what?”

“Asking me if you could walk me home while you already are?”

The books safely back in the bag where they belonged, Malachi took the bag out of her hand and shouldered it, continuing the direction they were walking.

“Um, I don’t know. Something about you makes my brain go all stupid and I just say whatever’s in my head.”

“That’s weird.”

He shrugged. He wasn’t sure what else to say, if he could control it and give off the appearance of being cool instead of a doofy teenaged boy, he would.

“But that seems like a you thing.”

He smiled.

She took his hand with hers and interlaced her fingers in his, squeezing them with her own. They walked hand in hand all the way back to her house, leisurely strolling. The hand holding made Persephone forget she was even hungry. Once they had gotten to her house, Malachi walked her up the steps and handed her the bag.

“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t invite you in. There isn’t that much food in the fridge.”

“That’s okay. I’m sure my grandma is already making dinner and wondering where I am.”

“I’ll see you Monday.”

“Yeah.”

Malachi turned to walk back down the steps when Persephone stood on her toes and planted a kiss on his lips.

“See you then.”

Malachi stumbled back a moment and caught the railing. “Yeah. See you.”

Malachi pushed the door open and two of the dogs, Tiny and Bear, were the ones to crowd him and ‘inspect’ him upon his return to the house.

“Mal? That you?”

“Yeah, I’m back.”

He stood there as they sniffed his legs, and licked as his hands, two good boys who wanted to make sure their house was secure. After a couple seconds, Bear led the way into the kitchen while Tiny went back to looking out the window.

He walked behind Bear into the kitchen, where his grandma was stirring a pot of food while Leo stood next to her.

“Hey mama, what’s for dinner?” He asked and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Paella. Where were you all day? Not getting into trouble I hope.”

Malachi dropped his backpack on the floor and grabbed a piece of chicken from the pot and ate it. His grandmother swatted his hand away.

“I was at the library.”

She stopped stirring. “Since when do you go to the library?”

“That girl I went out with yesterday goes there to study and invited me.”

“A girl that can get my Mal to study? You should marry her,” she laughed and went back to stirring.

“Want to go to Bleeker’s again on Friday?”

Apple slices were on the menu that day and Persephone crunched on one as she thought.

“Yeah, I had fun last week. I’ll go again. Are there new bands?”

Mal attempted to answer but was interrupted by a kid with teal green glasses.

“Hi,” the kid said shyly. “Can I sit here?”

“It’s a free country,” Persephone said as she looked back at Malachi.

Before he could answer her question, the kid was talking again.

“I don’t mean to bother you—”

“You kind of are,” Malachi said flatly.

“--I know, I’m sorry. I just wanted to say thank you for saving my glasses on Friday.”

Persephone searched the kid’s face for a moment.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” he held out his hand, “I’m Alex. You saved my glasses from getting stepped on at the concert.

“I thought the frames looked familiar,” Persephone said and went back to eating.

Alex put his hand down. “Yeah, they’re the only ones I have so I wanted to say thank you for saving them. My dad would have killed me if they got broken.”

“No problem. That’s a nice jacket by the way.”

He looked at his jacket and smiled, adjusting the lapels. The jacket was covered in band patches and so covered in studs that it almost looked like armor instead of outerwear.

“Thanks I did all the studs and everything myself. Um, do you mind if I sit with you guys?”

“Aren’t you already?”

“I mean… permanently. I’m kind of being picked on and—”

Persephone put her hand on the table. “Say no more. You can sit with us. I’m Persephone, he’s Malachi.”

Malachi gave a small wave.

Alex smiled. “Cool. So what were you guys talking about?”

“I was just saying we should go to Bleeker’s again this Friday and was about to say what bands were playing when you interrupted me.”

“Oh, sorry.” Alex took his lunch out of his bag and started eating his sandwich. “So who’s playing?”

“Three locals again: The Martin Luther Things—”

Persephone had to stop from spitting out her milk. “The what?”

Malachi laughed at her reaction and handed her a napkin. “The Martin Luther Things. No explanation. I’m guessing we’ll find out when we get there.”

Alex laughed. “They’re a bunch of guys who wear black suits and zombie makeup. They’re all black. I mean… obviously…” Alex suddenly felt awkward due to Persephone’s darker skin and didn’t want to say anything stupid.

“I already love them,” Persephone said and laughed.

“Uh, yeah, they’re pretty good. I think their drummer is a girl.”

She laughed. “That’s magical. Go on.”

Malachi smiled. “Captain Twerk—”

“They’re a bunch of girls who all wear Star Trek uniforms when they play and their songs are all about space.”

“—and Bad Sex.”

“I’ve never seen them before.”

“Well I guess they know someone because they’re headlining.”

Alex shrugged and kept eating.

Persephone was inconsolable. “Captain Twerk? I love it!”

The laughing while eating sent her into a coughing fit, having swallowed her milk wrong and Malachi reached across the table and patted her on the back.

Alex put a hand on her back as well, the picture of concern. Once Persephone was done choking and was okay, he returned to the subject of weekend concerts.

“So… could I go with you guys?”

Persephone coughed the last of the milk out of her lungs. “Afraid you might lose your glasses again?”

Alex laughed quietly. “You guys just seem cool is all.”

“Tell you what,” Malachi interjected, “Make me a jacket like that and you can come with us.”

“Oh… they take a while to make. This took me like a month of working on it every day after school.”

Malachi looked at Persephone and rolled his eyes. “Fine, you can come with us anyway.”

[thatsrightmytrash]

Somebody Else Pt 2

Pt 1 Pt3

Rating: NC-17

Genre: Smut, Angst, college AU

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x Taehyung

Warnings: Cheating, Explicit sexual content.

Words: 2642 ( I promise next chapter to be longer :P ) 

Summary: You had met Jungkook on a summer day at the age of 10,  at 12 you became best friends,  at 14 you had your first kiss,  at 15 you fell in love and at 16 you made love. You’ve never really knew what heartbreak was until at the age of 18 he broke your heart.

Inspired by Somebody else by the 1975.

A/N: Sorry if i have grammar mistakes, English is not my first language. 

The music was so loud that it made your skin tingle and your lungs feel like mush. The bass thumped in time with your heart beat as though they were one, filling you from head to toe with music. Over the roar of music, a distant, hazy chatter could be heard. You couldn’t make out any words, but a very known laughter rang in your ears and wouldn’t seem to stop; Jungkook.

Shit, you couldn’t afford to see him or him seeing you, you looked everywhere trying to find Minah but you couldn’t see her anywhere. Jungkook's laughter echoed in your ears until you dared to look to the direction the sound was coming from. It was him without doubt, now his hair was a little longer; he was with a group of friends of whom you only recognized Jimin and Jhope.

Looking at him was not as painful as you thought it would be, alcohol was able to sleep your feelings, but you no longer felt sadness about seeing or thinking of him, it was more like a mixture of disappointment and emptiness. In the last two months you had cried everything you had to cry, there was no sadness or rage inside you, you had managed to close so much your heart that only remained empty for someone who you had loved so much.

The truth was that it had been a while since you decided to open your eyes and close the door, sometimes you liked to find a place in your mind where Jungkook could stay, but you have always thought that it’s better to root things out and although you didn’t want it that way you kept silent about things that you would have liked him to know, not out of pride nor was it out of shame. You have always been straightforward with feelings and with who you were. It wasn’t any of that; the real reason was to protect yourself because if there was something that Jungkook had taught you was to not trust everyone, that many people hide behind a mask and put a different one for each person…. The irony? He was one of them.

You broke your head trying to fix his; you wanted him to be happy, to get him out of everything that could hurt him. And you supposed that; that was love, although what nobody explained to you was that sometimes you feel so much love for someone that you start giving even your self-love.  

You wanted to explain to him that; having lost a part of you when he left you didn't mean that you regretted having ceased to be who you were. Today you are not the same as yesterday, and with the scars he made in you, you can say that falling makes you wiser and getting up from them makes you stronger.

You found a part of yourself that you thought didn’t exist, you thought you couldn’t live without him but here you were; still alive, a little broken but still alive. Happiness sometimes depends not on the person you have at your side but on the desire that you have to be happy and you were so tired of feeling unhappy that all you wanted was just that, to be happy.

The reality hit you like a concrete wall, you had wasted a month locking yourself in your apartment for fear of seeing someone, how stupid. You turned and went  upstairs looking for Minah who should have been in one of the bathrooms. And so she was, Minah was waiting for a girl to get out the bathroom and when she saw you coming with a smile on your face she wondered what had happened.

"I'm an idiot; I wasted a fucking month without leaving my house for fear of meeting someone for whom surprisingly I feel nothing but a distant memory." You said out loud more to yourself than to her.

“Eh? what? Jungkook is here? Oh my god! Did he see you?”  Your friend covered her mouth with her hand, unable to believe what she had just heard coming out of you.

“He's here and no, he didn’t see me, nor do I care if he does," you answered. Your friend wasn’t sure of your words thinking that it was the alcohol talking. "Y / N .... I think you're not in all your capability, we better go home” she grabbed you by the hand to take you downstairs but you didn’t want to leave, you really were having some fun after two months of locking yourself in your house, you liked the music and for some strange reason you wanted to talk to the guy with golden hair.

When you were downstairs, before she could drag you through the front door you managed to get rid of her and head back to the kitchen to see if Taehyung was still there , your friend following behind.

The golden-haired young man was still in the same place talking to a girl who seemed too desperate to attract attention; a skirt too short, a neckline too provocative, it left nothing to the imagination, all her aura was screaming boring.

You took two long strides to where he was standing and with all the confidence in the world you gently grasped Taehyung face with both hands and pressed your lips against his; his mouth was delicious just as you thought. A small moan came out of Taehyung's throat and when you parted your lips without letting his face go you said "My name is Y/N by the way”.

When you let your hands go he grabbed you from the waist and brought you closer, his body was extremely warm and the next thing you knew he had slammed his lips to yours and nearly knocked all wind from your lungs, you didn’t have a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of your lips and you granted his access, delved inside your mouth; this time was fiery, passionate and demanding.  You could taste the sweet flavor of alcohol in his mouth being exchanged in the intermingling of your billowing breaths. Your arms reached up and tangled around his thick, strong neck. You heard a cough coming from behind and you parted away. His kiss was so different to Jungkook’s; it was magnetic, savage, it left you wanting more and he knew it.

Minah was startled looking at you without saying a word, you grinned at her and nodded to assure that everything was okay, it was something you wanted. Taehyung grabbed your hand and started to guide you upstairs to the safety of a quiet room, you knew what that meant but you didn’t care, for once you were doing whatever the heck you wanted to do.

As soon as you entered the room he started kissing you again, your brain was on fire and you womanhood was already aroused, you wanted to pull away before you lost yourself but you couldn’t seem to as your lips crushed together, you felt like walking on air. It was magic, the way his lips connected to yours. You opened your mouth with a low moan; your senses have been seduced and couldn’t no longer think straight.

“Y/n ” he whispered slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. You smiled, heart fluttering at his voice as you clasped your hands on either side of his face. Never before has your name ever felt so wonderful you thought.

He pushed you gently on the blankets of the bed, positioning himself on top of you caressing your thighs, descending to your neck and with the soft touch of his lips he began to mark the hollow of your neck causing you let go a strong moan.

“God you are so beautiful, I want to hear you moan for me babe” He whispered in your ear now caressing your earlobe with his sinful mouth. You moaned again at the touch of his lips. You could feel his hard member through his pants pressing into your thigh.

“You are so fucking hot Tae, I want more” you whispered between growls, you started to rub your body into his, making him gasp with excitation, he took your shirt off leaving you in your bra, and quickly pulling it off too. A loud groan leaves your mouth when he starts grabbing your breast and sucking them at the same time sending you almost to your bounds. Your mouth lets out another moan in ecstasy as you imagine him inside you.

But before you could do anything else the door opens and someone enters the room. “Hey Tae we need your car keys, Namjoon forgt….” You knew that voice like the palm of your hand, you tried to cover yourself with your shirt but he had already seen you and in the position you were in it was beyond obvious what you were about to do if he hadn’t interrupted . Taehyung felt you stiffening to his touch thinking that you were ashamed of another guy seeing you in that way. He then turned around covering you from the sight of Jungkook.

“What the fuck Y/N, what the fuck are you doing here?” Jungkook screeched; Tae was taken aback with the mention of your name. “Wait… do you…how do you know her?” He questioned.

“She is my ex-girlfriend you fucking prick” Jungkook seemed pissed and that made you mad, who was him to be pissed! “Oh fuck man I’m sorry I swear I didn’t know” Tae apologized but before he could said something else you stood up now with your bra on which you had quickly managed to put on. “Tae, you don’t have to explain anything to him, this was just a coincide, I didn’t know you were his friend and you didn’t know I was his ex” You put your hand in his shoulder to relax him, noticing the straight look Jungkook was giving you. “Besides...” you continued pointing to Jungkook “this useless piece of shit doesn’t have the right to say anything; he cheated on me and didn’t even tell me, so you can imagine how much I care about his opinion” You finished with an obvious sarcastic tone in your voice.

Tae looked at Jungkook with a little bit of disgust, he couldn’t imagine his friend to had done something that shitty but he knew it was bad to be with his ex anyway. He felt like you two had a lot to talk about but before he walked through the door he gave you a kiss in your cheek and whispered in your ear “I’m sorry this ended this way, I had a great time” and with that he left you alone with the dark haired man.

As soon as he left Jungkook locked the door so no one would interrupt. “I can’t believe you almost fucked one of my best friends” you have never seen him this angry before.

“I can fuck whoever I want, I’m not yours anymore, remember?” you muttered. He stepped closer and you backed a step not wanting him near you.

“Maybe we are not together anymore but I bet you are still mine” what the fuck was he thinking you thought. “You are such an asshole, I can’t believe I wasted so many years dating you, you disgust me” you were so fed up.

“Y/N c’mon don’t say that, you know no one can make you feel the way I make you feel, I loved you so much, I still do…” You were shaken up with his comment, he was such a fucking liar; how could he love you with everything he had done to you? How could he still love you when he told you he didn’t anymore?

He took one more step towards you, closing the gap between your bodies, you knew he didn’t love you back, but you couldn’t resist. He leaned in a little closer, your foreheads touching. Dear god, you couldn’t fight against the thoughts that were going through your mind. His very smell was flooding your senses now; you were already so worked up because of Taehyung. His lips brushed yours, not innocently, like a tease but hot. He deepened the kiss and the world fell apart. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be, you had been waiting for this to happen since the day he left you.

His hand rested below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your breaths mingled. You ran your fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between your bodies and you could feel the beating of his heart against your chest.

You knew this wasn’t love, this was lust, this was anger, these were mixed feelings but it wasn’t love, it couldn’t be. It wasn’t the first time for either of you, but you we're so nervous you'd never know it. There was something about him that lighted you up from the inside, there's something about him that melted your confidence to nothing at all. With Taehyung had been so different, with him you had felt so confident about yourself and you liked that, you liked the feeling of being free of your boundaries.

You urged yourself to push away, but couldn’t, he was intoxicating and you were caught in the memories of you two together; those kisses were your salvation and torment. You lived for them and would have died with the memory of them on your lips.

The facade you showed the world melts away and all you want is to fuck each other's brains out. He pushes you hardly into the bed and before you know how it happened you where both naked and your skin is moving softly together. You turned him hardly so you were in top of him. You felt his fingers enter you from below moving fast, oh god how long you had longed for his fingers to be inside you again. Your tongues entwined in a kiss, He positions himself at your entrance, his hard and long length you loved so much and then he's inside, changing your breathing with every thrust, hearing his moans timed to his body. The only thing that mattered was touching you more, kissing your mouth, your stomach, your breasts. You couldn’t bear it anymore after the session with Tae you had been almost at your limit.

He gasped for air and you moaned louder, he thrusted you deeper, faster, lost in time without a sense of control you growled his name; “Jungkook… Jungkook I’m going to cum” His name coming from your lips was something that turned him so bad. “Come all around me babe, I wanna feel your wetness around my cock” he grunted low and with that he sent you to your edge, you rode him hard coming all around him, clenching your walls into his cock and moaning his name in rhythm with his sloppy thrustings sending him to his ecstasy too.

He rolled out from you panting discontinuously and stayed like that a few minutes, heavy breathings surrounding the room, cum coming from your inside. He then stepped out of the bed and went to the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to clean you.

After you were clean he laid in the bed again but this time grabbing you to come closer to him resting your face in his toned chest. When you came down from the excitement of the moment guilty started to grow up inside your chest and to make things worst his phone started to buzz.

He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his pants and looked through the screen of it, you could read a name; Bora. He started typing something you couldn’t see because he stood up once again, he then began to dress up so you did the same. When you were both dressed up he spoke “This… I don’t regret it but this could never happen again, I’m sorry, I have to go”, and with that he left you to be with somebody else.

 I'm looking through you

While you're looking through your phone

And then leaving with somebody else