#enemies with interest™ to lovers

[setevulpo]

"a splinter of coldness in you? is that what makes you fascinating?" || "when you suffer, you seem to be more interesting."

-

[sanakiras]

LIAR, LIAR!

PAIRING — kim mingyu x fem!reader

❝ AND THE DANCE FLOOR IS FILLING UP WITH BLOOD, BUT OH LORD, YOU’VE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE! ❞

WORD COUNT — 17k

SYNOPSIS — in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessman’s very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill — and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.

TAGS — murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctional™, mentions of suicide, unrealistic circumstances, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst, medium long hair!gyu bc self-indulgence, tsundere-ish reader again guys sorry i love her so bad, mentions of parental neglect, this ended up so long help

♪ verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex,, florence + the machine - mermaids,, zayn - bordersz,, mikky ekko - who are you, really?,, q - alone,, danna paola - tenemos que hablar,, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, summer camp - i want you

NOTE — one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyu’s role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. the music recs above are also really nice to get into the vibe! enjoyyyy :D

[ ONE ] ✧˚ · .⋆ ★ [ JUMP TO PART TWO ]

i. ASK ME THE TRUTH AND I’LL TELL YOU A LIE

the interrogation room is unnecessarily bright, the noise of the water dispenser in the corner and the flickering led light above you running through your ears. the chair you’re seated on is uncomfortable, though it’s nothing compared to the tension you feel as the man in front of you treats you like you’re guilty of something.

“on september 2nd, around six o’clock, your father reportedly got unwell, so he left his office early, choosing to do the rest of his paperwork at home. according to the information we got from the gps tracker in his car, he went straight home, took no detours. he arrived at your family estate thirty minutes later. then at eight o’clock, the police receives a call from you, saying your father hung himself.”

you stare at the the inspector — whose name you did not bother remembering — before waving with your hand. “i’m aware. i’ve heard the recap of events many times at this point. this isn’t the first time i’m being interrogated, surprisingly enough.”

with a puzzled look, he raises his brow at you. “you don’t think you should be a suspect?”

“no, i don’t.”

“at the time of the incident, you were home, as well as two members of the staff. since the staff were on their dinner break and you were apparently in your room, it’s hard to say what exactly happened, since there were no witnesses.”

“do you mind me asking why you think it’s murder and not just a suicide?”

he’s intrigued by the way you discuss the topic so casually. “your father was an important man. wouldn’t you want to know who killed him if that were the case?”

“sure. i’d thank them.” you smile at him, the hatred for your father shining through. “believe me, inspector — my father was a miserable man who surrounded himself with miserable people. i wasn’t there by choice.”

“did he treat you badly, then?” he continues, trying to pry any information out of you.

all you can do is sigh. “i was his daughter in blood and name only. nothing more.”

with your demeanor softening into something sadder, the inspector’s tone changes into something different. “aside from you, and the staff, of course, we do have another suspect who we think could have something to do with your father’s death.”

that sparks your interest. “who?”

the inspector grabs his small pile of documents to pull a printed photo out of it, putting it before you. you visibly frown, because the person on the photo is someone you’re unfortunately awfully familiar with.

“kim mingyu is a suspect? seriously?” you ask, completely in shock. ironically, he’s the last person you’d suspect in a scenario like the one you currently find yourself in.

“what can you tell me about him?”

leaning back in your chair, you list a few things. “he’s a year younger than me. we went to the same high school, same university, have some of the same friends. though all of that is relatively common in our social circle.”

“anything else?”

keeping the insults to yourself for now, you press your lips together. “our parents are good friends. well, were, now that my father’s gone. mingyu and i hate eachother to the bone, though.”

“any particular reason why?”

“i’m not sure where it started… there’s just something off about him. it’s always been there. he’s—beyond arrogant. always showing off his looks, his wealth, his charm, his intelligence. everything. he insults me, i insult him. we simply don’t get along, never have. nothing you haven’t seen before, i’m sure.”

the inspector raises his brow. “i think you may have left something out.”

“such as?”

his hand moves into the blue folder sitting on the table, taking another photo out of it, holding it up before you. “your father was often spotted with him. at events, business meetings — you name it. matter of fact, your father seemed to be accompanied by kim mingyu more than anyone else. which is interesting, considering you are his only child.”

your gaze turns sour, voice softer yet more hateful than before. “don’t tell me this is the reason i’m a suspect.”

“let’s just say it doesn’t make you look good.”

“you really believe i murdered my own father in cold blood because he cared more about kim mingyu than he ever did about me? that’s pathetic and ridiculous.”

“you wouldn’t be the first. it’s a plausible story.”

scoffing at the accusation, you shake your head. “we’re done here. the moment you have an actual lead, i’ll talk, but not like this. i’m still here grieving and you’re accusing me of being the culprit.” you get up in anger, taking your bag with you before slamming the door shut, not bothering to listen to what the man is trying to tell you to make you stay.

this whole shit-train started two weeks ago. your father was found dead in your childhood home, hung by a rope around his neck. instead of calling it a death by suicide, the police apparently have enough reason to suspect it was a homicide.

you’ve been questioned several times in the past few weeks, but there’s been a gradual shift in the behavior of the inspector and his handimen — they’re treating you like a suspect now.

which you are, for whatever reason. they have yet to come up with any actual evidence.

your contact in the police force mentioned to you that you’re not just any suspect — you’re one of the two main suspects.

and that is unsettling, especially when you discovered who else is.

as you go down the hall, you suddenly lock eyes with kim mingyu himself, who’s leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. a few strands of hair hover by his cheeks, framing his strong features.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” you ask in a rather hostile manner, the scowl on your face deepening.

his lips part before he starts explaining. “they wanted to talk to me. again.”

“haven’t you heard the rumors, gyu?” you mockingly use the nickname, taking a step closer to him, “they’re saying there’s a possibility you killed him.”

your arch-nemesis looks back at you with a furrowed brow. “that’s ridiculous.”

“is it? you were always with him… it’s perhaps the only thing that makes sense in all of this.”

he seems offended you’d even insinuate something like that. “it’s really the other way around, though. you’re the one who hated him. i had nothing against the man.”

it’s true that you and your father didn’t exactly get along, especially the past few years, to put it lightly. you always considered him to be greedy, cold and unforgiving, and you certainly didn’t cry the moment they told you he had passed away.

“no, we all know how much you liked him,” you hardly make an effort to hide your disdain, “but they must not believe that, considering you’re just as much of a suspect as i am.”

he clenches his jaw. “i’m not guilty.”

“neither am i.” you state. like always, there’s a tangible coldness to your voice, which he finds soothing, for whatever reason.

it’s quiet for a moment as you’re both unsure of what to say next, a rarity between you.

a few years ago, your father mentioned you and mingyu could make a good pair.

you proceeded to laugh in his face.

mingyu is a constant reminder of what you could be, and that’s the last thing you need in your life.

“if i find out you’re somehow involved in this—”

instead of immediately refuting the statement, he narrows his eyes at you. “then what?”

you realize you need to be careful with your words here — you can’t throw around threats to kill people as the top suspect in a murder investigation. “i’ll make sure you pay for it. they might buy your little golden-boy act, but i sure as shit don’t. i never have.”

a smirk subtly tugs at his lips as he leans more down, eyes flicking lower before they meet yours again. “i’d be careful with my words if i were you,” he firmly tells you, his lashes fluttering, “there’s always someone watching.”

only now do you take notice of how close you’re standing to him, and you look behind you, seeing the inspector that just interrogated you observing you and mingyu from a distance.

so you push yourself away from him, giving him a last glare before walking away.

mingyu only moves from his spot once you’re gone from his field of view, greeting the inspector with a kind smile.

ii. THE HATRED WE BEAR

you find yourself staring at your father’s tombstone with a numb face and the wind breezing through your hair. your makeup is slightly smudged under your eyes from the tears you shed just an hour before, while you were giving the public a final speech regarding his passing.

the funeral was long — too long.

at a certain point, once the whole thing was done and everyone left, you decided to take a quiet moment for yourself in the graveyard to let everything sink in.

you made the mistake of thinking you’d left alone.

a voice you’re too familiar with speaks up behind you. “i’m sorry for your loss.”

of course it’s kim mingyu out of all people who’s still here, sneaking up on you.

you don’t have the energy to make a snarky comment this time. “i’d ask why you’re still here, but it’s a question i already know the answer to.”

he still offers you his answer. “i’m here to check up on you.”

well, that takes you by surprise. “why?”

“you lost the one parent you had left. i don’t want you to be alone.”

something about that sentence fuels a sudden anger in you. he’s got some fucking nerve, saying that to you. “maybe you should’ve considered that a couple years ago. you know, before you decided to become my dad’s little protege.”

even as a little girl, your bond with your father was a shitty one. your mother passed when you were young, so you barely have any memories left of her.

in an attempt to win his love and affection, you always did everything your father asked of you, yet your efforts were hardly acknowledged. you found him to be a harsh and cruel man, but surely with you being his daughter, his only child, he must’ve cared for you. or so you always told yourself.

something about your yearning for his approval and support changed for the worse when mingyu’s mother became a prominent business partner to your father, about nine years ago. it made him spend more time with the kim family, and you have no idea how or why it happened, but mingyu became like a son for him.

you saw how well your dad treated him, and you cried for a long, long time as you compared it to his neglect towards you. for every pat on mingyu’s back, you got scolded for not being good enough. whenever he got praised, you got discarded. it’s no miracle that you came to be the way that you are. detached, perceptive, appearing to be just as unfeeling as the man who raised you.

you hated your father. with all your heart.

but you grew to hate kim mingyu more.

so to hear him say that he doesn’t want you to be alone — that takes the goddamn cake.

he lowers his head at your words. “it wasn’t like that.”

“right. of course it wasn’t.” your voice is painfully spiteful.

“i wouldn’t have done it if i knew it was at your expense. i’m sorry.”

he’s trying to be nice to you, not understanding yet that it’s actually doing more damage, making you angrier. “the last thing i want is your fucking pity.”

“then what do you want?”

“nothing you can give me.” it’s a subtle final warning coming from you, because you’re actually about to explode at him. “just leave me be.”

“please, just... i wanna help you.”

like a ticking time bomb, you suddenly hit your limit. finally, you turn around, facing him, and it’s only then that he truly sees how upset you are, like a storm suddenly changing its direction, and he’s in the way.

“help me? you’d help me by getting the fuck out of my face. you wanna know what i want, mingyu? i want to know what in god’s name everyone loves so much about you, what it is that made my father shut me out completely and replace me with you. he gave you more love than he ever gave me. just looking at you makes me sick. what the fuck did he see in you that he didn’t see in me?” you ask, unable to stop yourself from pouring your emotions out to the guy in front of you. “why did he hate me so much? even in death, he favors you over me. he left you... everything. a final ‘fuck you’ to his own child. and for what? for you?”

the fact that you got word from your father’s lawyer that your father chose to leave everything he had to mingyu instead of you was like the straw that broke the camel’s back.

throughout your life, you always did what was expected of you. you were the perfect daughter.

and for what?

the fact that your father grew to hate you and love this asshole so much that he left you not a single penny to your name — that is your tipping point.

and mingyu just wordlessly allows you to continue ranting, almost as if he deserves it.

“what the fuck is so special about you, huh? because i don’t get it. sure, you’ve got a nice face and you’re a smart guy, but i don’t believe you actually give a shit about others. i bet you came here today to rub my dad’s inheritance in my face — you fucking pretentious douchebag.”

“i’m sorry. i never meant—” he stumbles, nearly falling over as he backs away while you keep stepping forward, feeling surprisingly small in front of you, in spite of his tall frame.

“i don’t give a shit if this is what you intended to happen or not! i’m all alone.” you show your sadness right between the anger and hostility, vulnerable in front of him. “no family like everyone else, no money, no house, nothing. abandoned by the one person i had left.”

he looks at you as if you’ve just slapped him across the face. he’s never even shown you a hint of vulnerability — nor have you for that matter — so why is he showing it now?

you’re too deep into your breakdown to think rationally about it. “you took literally everything that i had. and i’ll never forgive you for that.”

“please, let me—let me fix it.” he chokes out, as overwhelmed by your strong emotions as you are yourself.

the harshness of your words makes him feel like he’s crumbling in your presence. “talk to me like you care about me one more goddamn time, and i’ll make you regret ever meeting me in the first place.”

in all the years that you’ve known him, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him flinch — you doubt any of your words have ever hurt him.

until this moment, it seems. but why is he even hurt? you don’t care about him and he doesn’t care about you. it’s always been that way, and you have a hard time believing it’ll ever change.

the moment you walk away from him with a sharp pain in your chest, pushing him to the side by his shoulder, he’s left behind in a shocked and bewildered state, neither of you aware that a pair of curious eyes witnessed the whole exchange.

iii. ULTERIOR MOTIVES

“the full inheritance of your father has been transferred over to you.”

the cup of tea you were raising stills with your hand. your eyes narrow at your lawyer as you’re seated in the garden of your father’s estate. “what—how? why? it wasn’t passed down to me.”

“no, but the person it was passed down to can always make the decision to pass it on. and he did — surprisingly with no strings attached,” he tells you, putting the document from the notary in front of you, “i had it all double-checked. everything’s there, the documents signed by kim mingyu himself.”

just hearing the name makes you grimace, putting you off your tea. “and there’s absolutely nothing he wants from me?”

“nothing was mentioned, no. he did, however, leave you a note.”

“what does it say?”

your lawyer raises his brow as he reads it, handing it to you instead of reading it out loud, which makes you give him a puzzled look before casting your eyes downwards to the piece of paper.

tomorrow, 4:30, my apartment. all you have to do is sign the papers. i look forward to the day you’ll make me regret meeting you.

“that asshole.” you mutter to yourself, not loud enough for your lawyer to hear it, but he’s certainly got an idea of how you feel about the whole situation.

“you do, of course, always have the option to reject the inheritance, but i would highly recommend not to. frankly, in all of my years of experience in this field, i’ve never felt a bigger need to encourage a client to take a deal.”

once you’ve picked up the documents and skimmed over the words, you look back at him. “and if i did accept it, it wouldn’t contain any possible implications for me in the long term?”

“none. it is... fairly remarkable he’s willing to give you the full inheritance for nothing in return, even if he and his family are known for their wealth. but it wouldn’t be a significant loss for him, considering the capital he already has to his name.” the man explains, not needing to spell it out for you.

you put down your cup. “knowing him, i’m not so sure he doesn’t want anything. i suppose i’ll have to talk to him about it myself, tomorrow.”

your lawyer highly encourages you to do so, leaving you to spend the rest of the day wondering what he could possibly want from you.

and so the following day, at 4:30 sharp, you step into his apartment — penthouse is the more fitting term. you’ll admit, though, that he’s got style.

it’s dead silent in his place, save for the metronome in the background and the slow brew of his coffee machine. he’s wearing a white long-sleeved shirt with black trousers as he approaches you. “glad you could make it. coffee?”

“why are you willing to give me the inheritance?” you ask directly, not feeling up for the unnecessary chitchat. you’ve always hated small talk. “if it was just a set-up, i’m leaving.”

he doesn’t seem to be even the slightest bit surprised by your forwardness. “i’m willing to give it to you because a) i don’t need it, and b) i don’t want it. i think it’s ridiculous your dad set up his will like this.”

“well, that makes two of us.” you fake a polite smile, clearly very sarcastically, putting your hand on your hip. “you asked me to come sign the papers, but i have yet to see them.”

mingyu smiles a little at you. of course you’d skip straight to business — you never were a girl of many words. he walks over to a cupboard and takes a sealed folder with the documents out of a drawer, handing it to you.

when you attempt to take the folder from him, he swiftly retracts his hand like the asshole he is. “it’s not completely free, though.”

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “of course. i should’ve known better than to believe you were willing to do something out of the kindness of your own heart.”

he just keeps going as if he didn’t hear you, very much used to the little quips you throw at him by now. “don’t worry, i think you can manage this very small task for me.”

“just tell me what you want already—”

“my family’s hosting a gala next week, on friday. i’d like you to be my date.”

you’re baffled. this is what he wants in return for the inheritance worth millions of dollars? to have you on his arm for a single night?

oh, hell no. you’re not falling for it.

“why? you wanna publicly humiliate me or something?” you question, a deep frown settled in your forehead.

he huffs, annoyed that you’d think that low of him. “i know we’ve always hated eachother, but, maybe, during a hard time… it would be nice to have one relaxed night. and yeah, i wouldn’t mind doing that with a pretty girl to keep me company. what do you say? deal?”

not once in all the years you’ve known him has he ever called you pretty.

“fine. but don’t think about pulling any stunts.”

“wouldn’t dare.” his smile sits somewhere beween teasing and serious when he finally hands you the papers.

you sit down and briefly scan the documents, not signing them right away to have them checked by your lawyer first. “if everything in this is according to the plan, you’ll have them signed by tomorrow morning.”

“okay. see you friday.” he winks at you, escorting you to his front door, a subtle grin on his face that gives off the impression he’s planning something, and you can only imagine what it might be.

there is one good thing about having to spend time in his family home, though — and that’s to search his rooms to find anything that might implicate him having something to do with your father’s murder.

since there’s still a culprit to be named.

with your own agenda in mind, you walk out of his apartment, searching for the name of your stylist in your contacts.

you’re going to need a dress, after all.

iv. A PROPOSAL

with a stern look on your face, you look at the entrance of the gala from the tinted window of your car. it’s all bright lights and colorful decorations, candles, flowers — the kim family is well known for their luxurious and memorable parties. you’ve attended plenty of them. while you and mingyu may not get along, his sister and mother are genuine sweethearts, some of the kindest and most welcoming people you know.

if only you could say the same for the asshole you’re about to spend the evening with.

after checking your makeup in the pocket-sized mirror for a final time, your driver opens your door so you can step out of the car, which leaves you on your own in front of the stairs.

mingyu originally mentioned he wanted to pick you up at your home like the gentleman he very much claims to be, but you very quickly shut the idea down and told him you’d just meet him at his family’s mansion.

so here you are.

attending a gala only a month after your father’s funeral must seem like an… interesting choice, to say the least. the people you come across express their condolences and ask if you’re doing well — you wonder if the sentiment is real or not — and you tell them you’re here because it serves well as a distraction.

you’ve become an excellent liar over the years.

as you’re standing at the top of the stairs, leaning on the railing, you observe the people on the dance floor below. those who aren’t dancing are chattering, the noises of clinking glasses and laughter filling your ears.

most of the time, you’re able to somewhat enjoy this life. but the truth is that it can be as exhausting as it is glamorous.

but with your last living parent gone, you do feel a sense of freedom, even if it is lonely at times.

not like you didn’t feel lonely when he was still alive.

you didn’t love him or care for your father. you cared for the hope that someday he would change. that he would show you he did care for you, even a little bit.

but that day never came.

he was primarily an investor, so at least you haven’t been burdened with having to take over a business or anything like it. having no siblings either, you feel like you should take this opportunity to start fresh; focus on building your own career and use your father’s money for things he’d never approve of.

suddenly, you spot your date in the midst of the crowd, breaking you out of your train of thoughts. his half-long hair looks pretty on him, you have to admit, the few strands in front of his face paired with the tailored, navy suit giving him the appearance of a model.

he’s currently talking to an older woman who clearly seems to adore him, the smile he puts up making her give him a gentle, loving squeeze on his upper arms. like always, no one is able to read the bitterness you feel as your face remains neutral.

growing up in your restricted social circle of the country’s wealthiest families, your group of peers wasn’t extremely big. you all went to the same primary school, same private high school. mingyu was always one of if not the most popular kid at school. an effortless ace at every fucking thing. everyone loved him, be it your peers or their parents.

you wouldn’t say you weren’t popular. quite the opposite, actually. your best friend was the queen bee of the school, as she was always striving to be the best in everything. top of the class, highest achievements, a true perfectionist at heart. bold, definitely a bit judgemental and classist too, but once she’s your friend, she’s the sweetest girl in the world. she did like to dabble in some drama with others if it came onto her path.

and you were the opposite. you preferred to steer clear of any drama, much preferring to watch it unfold from the sidelines — as you usually just didn’t care enough to interfere with it — and you were never quite as talkative as your best friend.

the sentences leaving your mouth are always quick, direct, sharp and without stutter. you’re masterful at small talk, even though you hate it. you know how to play people like a fiddle. your father made you use your manipulation skills to good use rather frequently.

many consider you cold and calculated.

which is true, of course. but you still have a heart, even if it barely beats.

the outburst you gave mingyu after your father’s funeral must’ve come as a shock to him. no one has ever seen you in such a vulnerable and weak state, and out of all the people who could’ve seen it, it naturally had to be him — and that makes you uncomfortable.

once he’s finished his conversation, he looks in front of him, then up at the balcony — and he locks eyes with you.

you give him a look of acknowledgment, but that’s it. he doesn’t seem to mind, though, still shining as brightly as ever, making his way up the stairs as fast as he can. “i’m sorry i wasn’t at the entrance to greet you, i didn’t think you’d be here so soon.”

“it’s fine.”

he glances up and down, admiring the dress you chose. “you look gorgeous.”

the deeply dark green dress with its boat neckline, long and fitted sleeves and intricate gold embroidery makes you look elegant. with the dress itself already being quite the statement piece, you chose to pair it with dainty earrings, your hair half-up and curled.

“thank you.” you don’t bother saying anything about his appearance. he must be used to it at this point.

“can i get you something to drink?”

you test the waters by throwing in a joke. “what, planning on poisoning me?”

his eyes flicker for a moment, stricken by something you can’t quite place, which makes you blink at him. his flirtatious and charming self returns within a mere second, and he proceeds to snicker at your joke. “i could, but where’d be the fun in that?”

rolling your eyes at him, you take his arm once he’s offered it, keeping in mind you’re doing this for the inheritance.

the time goes by quicker than expected. he introduces you to some of the people he’s close with, tells you stories you’ve never heard before, even asks you about yours.

a few of his friends come by as well, surprised to see you by mingyu’s side. most people your age here know that you and him have never quite gotten along, to put it lightly.

when they subtly ask about it, mingyu tells them he insisted you came to distract yourself from the death of your father, and that you could probably use a party.

it raises more question marks as to what his motive is for asking you to be here tonight. what is he gaining from this? he hasn’t humiliated you yet. if anything, he’s only spoken of you highly, save for the little snark he keeps between the two of you.

it’s strange. really strange.

after a while, once all the guests have been drinking a bit, you decide to set your own plan in motion. this might be your only chance to snoop around here, as you doubt you’ll find yourself in here again anytime soon.

you’re literally invited in his home — you’d be a fool not to check his room.

unfortunately, just as you try to disappear from the crowd, mingyu extends his hand to you. “dance with me?”

just as you’re about to refuse him, you remember that this is the one night you have to be nice to him, all so he can give you the inheritance that was meant to be yours in the first place.

with a small sigh, you slide your hand in his, at which he grins triumphantly.

before you know it, you’re in the middle of the room together, and he has his one hand on your lower back, the other hand intertwined with yours. he’s smooth with his moves, you have to admit.

the question has already left your mouth when you process it. “why am i here? i’m sure there’s a reason i needed to be your date tonight.”

mingyu cocks his head at you. “i think you’ve had to endure a lot the past couple weeks. the incident, the interrogations, the press, the shit with the inheritance — i’m impressed you haven’t lost your mind yet.”

“how do you know i haven’t?” you ask, and he twirls you around, his hands feeling like they’re burning on your skin. “wasn’t my breakdown after the funeral enough to prove you otherwise?”

“well, looking back, i should’ve probably left you alone in that moment. but i did think about what you said, and you can correct me if i’m wrong, but i feel like your father and our ties to him were what made us hate eachother so much. now that he’s gone, maybe we can… i don’t know. tolerate one another.”

you make sure to hide your confusion from him. does he really not see it? sure, the main reason you’ve always despised mingyu was because of his relationship with your father, but you weren’t exactly best friends before that either.

even putting it like that would still make it the understatement of the year.

if he actually pictures the two of you becoming friends, though, he’s lost it.

unsure of what to tell him, you give him a shitty excuse to escape the conversation. “i’m just gonna use the ladies’ room, if you don’t mind.” you let mingyu know, and he nods at you in acknowledgement, caught off guard by you leaving so suddenly.

so you walk off, the voices of the people and the music in the hall fading into the background as you trail off.

now that you’re alone, you can finally go check his room.

it’s harder to navigate the mansion than you thought. hallways that all look similar, god knows how many rooms — you hope you won’t get lost here.

one of your best friends is good friends with mingyu’s sister, and so she knows the place like the back of her hand. when you asked her for the layout of the place, she did think it strange, but you told her she had nothing to worry about.

mingyu’s bedroom and study are supposedly on the third floor of the east wing, and the party takes place in the west wing.

so that’s just fucking great.

your best friend did warn you that he most often keeps his doors locked whenever visitors are present, so to ensure you could get in, you snatched the key from his pocket when he was dancing with you earlier.

it almost makes you chuckle when you think about how easy it was.

when you’ve finally arrived at what seems to be the door to mingyu’s room, you double-check the environment around you to see whether anyone’s following you, and when it appears to be safe, you shove the key into the lock, twisting it.

you exhale when realizing it’s the right key.

entering the room, you quickly shut it behind you, taking in the sight.

it’s raining outside, which you take notice of through the large windows. several paintings adorn the walls — you didn’t know he was a lover of art — as well as some photos of him with his family.

the room is surprisingly tidy, his clothes all neatly folded on the wooden planks in his closet and the drawers underneath. the few books he has sitting on top of the cupboard are gathering dust — you suppose he doesn’t like to read all that much.

of course he doesn’t.

his king-sized bed seems soft and comfortable, and the room smells of the cologne and perfume he always wears.

you blink a few times, realizing you’re dwelling too much on details that are not a priority right now.

which is enough to snap you awake, a rush of adrenaline moving through your veins as you look for anything interesting. files, documents, notebooks — anything.

you find his agenda in a drawer of his desk. with slightly trembling fingers, you move the pages back to the date of your father’s death, as well as the days before that.

as you’re caught up with doing so, you momentarily forget the first rule of breaking into a forbidden space: never turn your back to a door when you should be watching it.

“you know, i’m starting to think you agreeing to be my date came with ulterior motives on your side.” you suddenly hear mingyu’s voice behind you, at which you turn around, looking a bit too guilty for comfort.

your voice almost gets caught up in your throat, but you keep your composure. “if it makes you feel any better, i didn’t plan this.”

“it’s alright.” he responds, closing the door behind him smoothly, as if he doesn’t want you to see it. “you still think i had something to do with your father’s death, don’t you?”

“i’m not sure. i don’t see why you would, now that you’ve given me the inheritance. what other motive could you have?”

all mingyu does is clench his jaw at the rhetorical question. then he snaps out of it, his eyes trailing to the desk you’re currently leaning on. he takes a few steps closer to you, and you raise a brow, waiting in anticipation what he’ll do.

his face is suddenly very close to yours, and you’re almost convinced he’s leaning in to touch you when he reaches for the drawer behind you instead. “well, as a matter of fact, i did have something to show you.”

that surprises you.

“your father always carried a little red notebook with him. it’s the only part of the inheritance i didn’t give you, solely because i wanted to show you myself. there’s a few strange scribblings in it, with locations and numbers, and look at this—” he opens it up in front of you, pointing at the paper with his index finger, “apparently he felt like he was being followed just days before he died. maybe the police is right and he did get murdered.”

“yeah, i already figured he probably pissed off the wrong guy.” when he looks at you hopefully, you shrug. “what?”

“we should check it out, right? find out who killed him.”

you immediately shake your head at his suggestion. “no.”

mingyu’s whole body language changes, genuine confusion overtaking his features. “what do you mean, no?”

“he was caught up in all kinds of shit, things i never wanted to be a part of. that’s no different now that he’s six feet under.”

“are you not the slightest bit curious who killed him?”

“frankly, no, i’m not. i’d say whoever is guilty did me a favor.”

despite your valid point, he persists. “okay, then how about this — what if this person would come after you for whatever reason? don’t you want to know who you’re dealing with?”

you narrow your eyes at him. “why do you care so much, mingyu? i’m sure this is something you could manage on your own.”

the sudden question surprises him, so he shrugs. “maybe i’m not sure why. but i do. and you know i did care for him.”

“why don’t you just let the police handle it?”

“because they don’t know this world — and we have access to places, people they wouldn’t even know where to find or how to deal with. have you talked to the detectives? they’re amateurs.” he answers, pausing before taking a step closer to you. “he’s dead either way, doing a small bit of research might be interesting. who knows what you might find.”

“and you wanna do this with me of all people because...?”

he rolls his eyes at the question. “you were the only other person directly affected by it. c’mon, am i really so bad that you can’t even deal with me for a little while?”

the fact that you just give him a deadpan stare tells him all he needs to know.

it makes you bite your lip. you don’t feel like doing this at all, certainly not with mingyu of all people, but he appears to be ready to do this with or without you.

besides, you do feel up for a little adventure.

“fine, i’ll bite. hypothetically, what if i were interested in finding out who killed him?”

the young man in front of you tilts his head. “then i’d suggest we work together and do some digging.”

pursing your lips, you watch his pleased expression when he notices you’re actually considering it. “why do i feel like i’m gonna regret this?”

“maybe you will. maybe you won’t. we can go right back to hating eachother after this, but for now, we’ll be partners. deal?”

your eyes linger on the hand he’s stretched out to you, and even as you’re hesitant to take it, he doesn’t take his eyes off you.

with a sigh, you shake his hand. “okay. deal.”

v. PARTNERS IN CRIME

“for someone so organized, he sure as hell has a lot of unnecessary shit lying around here.” mingyu mutters, searching through the drawers of the cupboard.

you scoff in agreement. “tell me about it.”

the two of you are rummaging through your father’s study in your home in an attempt to find anything interesting as to what he might’ve been up to the past few years.

so far, you’ve had zero luck with it.

you already figured there’d probably be nothing of interest here, but mingyu insisted, said it would be stupid not to. so here you are.

“you know, i’m pretty sure my dad wouldn’t be as stupid as to just leave traces of his criminal affiliations lying around in his study.”

mingyu shrugs while simultaneously looking into a drawer. “you never know.”

“he was an asshole, but he was a smart one.” you mumble to yourself as you go through the little notebook mingyu just handed you a few minutes ago.

he watches you with curiosity. “can i ask you something?”

without looking up at him, you give him a rather direct response. “i’m sure you’ll ask me regardless of my answer to that question.”

ever so indifferent, he thinks. if anything, one thing about you he is actually fond of is your unfiltered attitude. more people should be like that. “you said you’d never forgive me for what i did to you."

hearing those words makes you look up at him. you’re surprised he’s taking an approach this straightforward with you. “i know what i said.”

“is there nothing i can do to at least make things more civil between us?”

god, you’re sick of him already.

instead of outright telling him you hate him more than anyone else you know, you cross your arms over your chest and fire a question right back at him. “why do you want things to be different between us? don’t tell me you’re losing sleep over it, now.”

mingyu pauses a moment before he answers you. “i thought about the things you said, when you were upset with me, and i realized i’ve made your life harder without having intended to do so. and yeah, i am losing sleep over it.”

while he does appear earnest, you don’t exactly trust him, so all you do is shrug your shoulders.

he wants to say something right when his phone rings. once he picks up, you figure it must be something business-related, judging by the tone of his voice and formal language.

an apology directed at you leaves his mouth as soon as he’s hit the red button on his screen. “i’m sorry. an important business meeting was moved and i promised my mom i’d be there.”

you’ve met mingyu’s mother a few times, at events. she’s the ceo of a very prominent hotel business. many of the highest ranked hotels around the world are under her care, and she clearly knows what she’s doing, since her business has been thriving for many years at this point. you remember it was her who took over as ceo after mingyu’s father passed in a car accident when he was younger.

“then you better get going.” you tell him, your face not pulling a single muscle. you hope he didn’t think you were going to ask him to stay.

he nods at your words, taking the jacket with his initials embroidered in the tag and slinging it over his arm. “yeah. i’ll call you.” he says, going out the doorway, yet your voice makes him halt in his tracks.

“mingyu.” you say his name to him, an unfamiliar feeling on your tongue, and he turns to look back at you.

he awaits your words, catching the subtle warning in your eyes as you refer back to the question of his you had yet to answer.

“we may be working together now — call us associates, or even partners in crime — but once this is over, we’ll go right back to strangers. let’s just keep this… somewhat professional.”

you find he can be surprisingly hard to read from time to time, for a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. after blankly staring at you for a few seconds, processing the words, he just offers you a little smile and a gentle response. “okay.”

and he walks off, only leaving you more intrigued than before.

for two days, it’s complete radio silence from mingyu. all he asked you over text was if you’d been able to find anything in the study, to which you replied with a simple no. he didn’t say anything else.

you sincerely thought this whole investigation of yours wasn’t actually gonna lead to anything, that it was useless — until now.

it’s eleven o’clock, dark outside, the metronome ticking in the background of your living room as your eyes are glued to the screen of your laptop.

you just got a notification from the bank that someone made a significant withdrawal from one of your father’s bank accounts, one that still needs to be signed over to your name.

question is, who the fuck has access to your father’s bank account besides you?

no one. supposedly.

staring at mingyu’s contact in your phone, you twist your lips, unsure of whether to call him about this or not.

going against your gut, you press on his phone number and wait for him to answer the call.

nothing.

for good measure, you call him a second time. same result.

then it hits you. you spoke to wonwoo last night — he mentioned something about him and mingyu going out together this evening.

wonwoo, thankfully, does pick up his phone. “hey. what’s up?”

“hey. are you with mingyu right now?”

“yeah, why?”

“where are you?”

“uh—” he stutters out an address in the middle of the city, clearly confused by the urgency in your voice. “what’s going on? what do you need mingyu for?”

“well, it’s hard to explain. anyway, i’m coming over.”

“he’s kind of—”

you quickly interrupt him by hanging up. taking your wallet and car keys, you head out. the address wonwoo’s given you is located in the club scene downtown, and you make it there in no-time with the navigation on your phone.

parking your car across the block, you get out and check your phone, heading to wherever wonwoo and mingyu currently are. you usually tend to go for the clubs at the other side of the city, as the vibe feels a little different here, but you’ve been around the neighborhood a couple times, so it’s not entirely unfamiliar to you.

when you arrive at the club, you catch the sight of your friend leaning against the stone wall outside.

jeon wonwoo, all handsome in his expensive jacket and sleek shoes, looks surprised when he notices you of all people coming up to him, even though you told him you were coming. his voice is soft when he greets you. “hey. you gonna tell me what exactly you’re doing here?”

shrugging your shoulders, you put your hands in the pockets of your black coat. “you said you were here with mingyu. i gotta talk to him.”

“right now?”

taking note of his baffled reaction, you tilt your head to the side. “yes, right now. i don’t care if he’s occupied.”

wonwoo brings a cigarette to his lips, pushing the pair of dark-rimmed glasses higher up his nose. “what’s going on with you and him, anyway? i thought you hated each other.”

“we still do.”

“well, something’s changed.”

“believe me, wonwoo, i don’t like him any more than he likes me.”

all he does is narrow his dark eyes at you.

just when you want to open the backdoor to the club, wonwoo stops you. “you do know what kind of establishment this place is, right?”

frowning at him, you open the door just the slightest bit to check whatever he’s getting at, and once you catch sight of the pink and red lights, sensual music and metal poles attached to the ceiling, you momentarily close the door again.

right. this must be one of those clubs that are hidden from the prying eyes of non-customers, to give the illusion there’s nothing going on behind these walls, giving the rich clients some privacy in their activities.

you roll your eyes. “when you said you were going to the club, i didn’t think you meant a strip club.”

“i was about to tell you when you hung up on me.”

“so why are you out here and not in there with him?”

“because i wanted to smoke and he felt like heading into a more secluded space. with company, no doubt.”

oh, this is gonna be fun. since kim mingyu pretty much ruined your life, the very least you can do in return is ruin his night. you briefly chuckle to yourself. “alright. well, have fun smoking.”

“you’re still going in?” he calls after you, and all you can do is scoff.

“you think i care whether kim mingyu’s gonna have a good time or not?”

“forget i asked.” he responds, the hint of a smile tugging at his facial features. “i’ll wait here ‘til you get back.”

you shoot him a knowing smirk before stepping into the club. remaining in the background, you scan the area to see if there’s a glimpse of him somewhere.

at the other side of the bar, a man seems to be on watch in front of a separate hallway, so you figure that’s where the jackpot is.

not bothering to look back at the bartender, whose gaze trails after you, you head over to where you need to be, which is where you’re stopped in your path, as expected.

“these are occupied private rooms, ma’am.” a bouncer tells you.

“look, sir, i…” you begin, coming up with some bullshit excuse to get past him, “i’m pretty sure i saw my boyfriend just go in here with a dancer. all i want is a confirmation, i’m not looking to start drama.”

before the man can respond, you wordlessly hold up a small stack of hundred dollar bills between your index and middle finger, waiting for him to take the bribe.

works like a charm wherever you go.

his demeanor changes once he sees the money. “what’s he look like?”

“tall, dark medium-long hair, brown eyes, pretty handsome — though that’s probably subjective.” you shrug, adding a little fake smile to it. you can get far in life with a little charm and money.

the few generic features seem to be enough for the bouncer to know who you’re talking about. he takes the money from your hand, pointing his finger at one of the more secluded rooms in the back.

“go for room number six.” he says, stepping to the side so you can pass him.

thanking him, you head into the back, the heels of your ankle boots clicking against the floor.

the rooms have their matching numbers on neon signs above them. your eyes curiously take in everything they see, but all rooms grant the people in them privacy with the use of frosted glass.

once you’ve made it to the room with the number six on the sign, you take a breath while your hand rests on the handle.

you enter the room soundlessly. the broad space is dimly lit with its soft lights, a mixture of yellow, pink and red almost convincing you that this place is a mere fever dream.

mingyu is seated on the velvet red couch, his legs spread with a girl in skimpy lingerie dancing between them.

yet his eyes are on you.

with his head tilted down, he looks up at you from beneath his lowered brows, peering right past the bare hips of the girl as if she’s not dancing in front of him at all.

you catch a hint of intrigue in his features. he reaches inside his pocket to hand a small stack of money to the dancer in the exact same way you did with the bouncer only a minute before, and the girl leaves you to your privacy.

“hello to you, too.” he says, not bothering to move a single muscle as he remains on the soft couch.

“next time, answer your damn phone.” you scold him, staring him down with the coldest glare you can muster, and mingyu’s not sure why, but he relishes in it. it doesn’t happen often that someone treats him like this.

“i was occupied.” he casually answers, his hand running through his dark locks.

“well, not anymore.” you grin, handing him your phone to show the photo of the bank transcripts. “apparently, my dead father just took fifty grand out of his account.”

mingyu furrows his brows at the screen. “where?”

“all the way at the other side of the city. question is, who else has access to his account, aside from me?”

“we should go and check the footage.” he says, shrugging his shoulders, and he finally gets up, towering over you again. “i know someone who’s with the municipal authorities, i’ll make the call.”

“right now?” you ask, referring to how deep into the night it is, at which he raises his brow.

“yes, right now. this is the best clue we’ve come across so far. don’t you agree?”

“i do. i just thought you cared more about, y’know, being occupied.” you emphasise the last words with a waving hand, gesturing to the girl that was previously dancing on him, and his flirtatious nature comes right back to him as if it never left.

“why? wanna give me a show before we leave?” he smirks, getting closer, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of you, to see what’s lurking underneath your closed-off persona.

fine. both of you can play this game, you think to yourself. “what, are the girls here not enough to get you off?”

“is that a yes?”

“why would you want a lap dance from a girl you can’t stand? i may not like you, mingyu, but i didn’t think you’d stoop so low to go after any woman with a pulse.”

“i feel flattered,” he smiles, eyes trailing down to your exposed collarbones, finding it ridiculously hot in here, “and i don’t particularly like you, either, but we both know you’re gorgeous. besides, i’ve seen you dance at chan’s club. you looked good.”

his honesty almost stuns you in your place. you didn’t think he held that kind of physical attraction towards you, yet it makes you feel good — because you think he’s fucking hot, too.

such a shame that he’s an asshole.

but still, there’s no time to dwell on his words. you have a reputation to uphold and a murder to solve, after all.

so you lean in, whispering your decision. “in your dreams.”

jesus, mingyu thinks, do you even remotely know how much sex appeal you have? it makes him beyond impulsive. “did you know studies have shown that sleeping with someone you can’t stand is arguably the best thing ever?”

you sarcastically reply to him with the exact same tone. “did you know you’d be so much more bearable if you just kept your mouth shut?”

“what? it’s part of my charm.” is all he says in return, snickering a little over your response, and you merely roll your eyes.

“we’ve got a different idea of charm, then.”

“okay, fair enough.” he shrugs, still maintaining the minimal distance between your bodies. “so what do you find charming? i’m dying to know, really.”

“i like men who don’t feel the need to pay for a woman’s touch.” the reply comes fast and sharp as a blade. “i hope you pay them generously, since they have to put up with you out of all people.”

“she didn’t touch me, though. it’s a strip club, not a brothel.”

“how noble of you.” you humorlessly chuckle at him, attitude turning more playful.

“mhm.” mingyu nods his head, the rest of his words sounding lower and suave. “tell me more. c’mon, i’m curious. i gotta know my partner’s preferences, right?”

the look you give your current partner is something. you decide to indulge him this once, face inching closer to his, just to keep things interesting. “i want someone who won’t hold me back. someone who will accept me for who i am — uninhibited.”

there’s something you can’t quite place flashing behind his eyes. it’s close to intrigue, but more intense, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen it in anyone else’s eyes before.

“good to know.” he breathes out, as if your words stole his breath, and you come to the realization that maybe, there’s more to kim mingyu than you thought.

now that he seems to be pretty much speechless, you raise your shoulders. “so, are we heading out or should i tell the dancer to come back in?”

he stutters out a reply, and you find it funny how his attitude is constantly going back and forth between a flustered mess and the most confident guy in the room.

once you’ve returned to the backdoor where you got in, you see wonwoo is still outside, his cigarette put out on the ashtray beside him.

“you leaving?” wonwoo asks, waiting for either of you to answer.

“yeah. duty calls.” mingyu replies while putting his jacket on.

for what it’s worth, wonwoo is actually a dear friend of yours, and one of the few people you show physical affection to, so you give him a kiss on the cheek before walking off. “catch you later, okay?”

he nods, catching mingyu curiously watching the exchange, and when you walk off with him, wonwoo notices him put his hand on your lower back, which you proceed to swat away.

a mere twenty minutes later, you and mingyu are seated in your car in an empty parking lot, looking at a screen displaying street security footage of the bank where the withdrawal was made earlier tonight.

mingyu’s friend seungkwan, who works for the authorities, sent you the footage, and as you’re looking it over, he’s on the phone explaining his observations. “he was wearing a mask and a cap, so we couldn’t recognize him. the car he drove has a license plate that doesn’t match, so likely stolen. he drove from a nearby parking garage to the bank, withdrew the cash, got back in the car and then parked it right here, about six blocks further, in the business district.”

the building the car is parked across is one you’d recognize any time of day. it’s where your father’s main office is — or was — one of the places he never allowed you to get into, or anyone for that matter. it was the only place where he got the peace and quiet he wanted.

you turn your head to glance at mingyu, giving him a knowing look. “that’s where my father’s main office is.”

“you think the guy’s gonna try to break in?”

“if he got his hands on the passcodes and proceeds to wait before the building he always worked in, then yeah, i do.”

you nod in agreement, because he makes a fair point. mingyu looks at the worried expression on your face and decides you’ve gathered enough information now.

he thanks seungkwan and tells him bye before hanging up, then turning his focus to you. “whoever that guy is, if he’s planning on breaking in, we gotta beat him to it.”

“you wanna break into an office on the seventh floor located in a building that neither of us are allowed into? they won’t even let us pass the front desk. i know because i’ve tried.”

he shakes his head. “trust me — we’ll find a way in. i’ve got an idea, but it’s not gonna be easy.”

vi. WE’RE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I

the following days are spent analyzing and memorizing blueprints, tracking the people entering and exiting the building and checking security in the hope of finding some kind of loophole in the system.

trying to get in through the front door is too risky, so you’ve opted for the roof instead, because there’s several buildings so closeby that you can get into either of the buildings next to it and reach it from there. you’ll get in with a classic heist movie tactic you pray works in real life as well.

ventilation shafts.

so now, you’re both in dark and practical clothing to attempt breaking in. because your plan is mediocre at best.

as you watch from the rooftop of a currently unoccupied office building nearby with a binocular, you face-palm yourself the moment you notice the security set-up is different than anticipated with the blueprints, meaning the ventilation shafts are most likely not accessible. “well, fuck.”

“what’s wrong?”

you hand the binocular to mingyu, and he mimics your previous actions, huffing in annoyance when he sees it too. “shit. what do we do now?”

“nothing.”

“what?”

“our plan was already risky enough, but now that we pretty much don’t even have a way in, we’d be stupid to try. we only have a fifteen-minute window before a security guard comes up the roof again.”

“that’s plenty.”

“it would be, for like — a swat team. we’re amateurs. at this, anyway.”

“speak for yourself.”

“oh, i’m sorry, have you done anything remotely on this scale before?”

“well… no.”

pinching the bridge of your nose, you roll your eyes to yourself. “we should’ve brought wonwoo.”

mingyu is quick to respond with a sarcastic comment. “and tell him what, exactly? ‘hey, we need your help breaking into one of the best-guarded buildings in the city so we can snoop around and try to find a clue leading to a killer’?”

“well, i don’t know if you’ve noticed, gyu, but we quite literally have no other options.”

“we could always try the front door. you’re still his daughter, they might let you in.”

“i really hope that wasn’t an actual suggestion, because if it was, it would highly diminish the idea i have of your intelligence.”

“is this your way of telling me you think i’m smart?”

“well, currently, i think you’re being an idiot, so no.” you retort, stealing the binocular out of his hand again. “god, i’m starting to respect criminals. this shit is difficult to navigate around.”

mingyu chuckles as he adjusts the black baseball cap on his head. “there has to be another way. maybe we could—”

“—get in through an open window.” you interrupt, handing the device over to him. “you see the glass window in the roof of his office? it looks like it’s ajar.”

once he sees it too, he tilts his head. “it’s almost too easy. it’d have to open manually, otherwise we’re screwed.”

you can only shrug. “it’s only a modern interior on the inside, the building itself is older, so the odds might be on our side. besides, it’s worth a shot, right?”

“can’t argue with that.” he agrees, checking the other buildings around to figure out the best approach.

you watch him as he’s distracted. he’s fully going for the whole partners-in-crime thing you’ve got going on with him, yet a part of you is still unsure what his motives might be.

but for now, you’ll just focus on the task at hand.

every fifteen minutes, a security guard comes up to the roof, checks everything, stays for a minute or two and leaves again. you’ve been keeping track of it. as soon as the one currently on duty closes the door to the staircase behind him, heading back down, you both start a silent timer on your watches, getting to work.

one thing you discover doing said task is that jumping from roof to roof is really not as easy as they make it seem in the movies. if anything, it’s pretty scary, even if they are relatively close to eachother.

the jump from the last building to the one you need to be on top of has the biggest gap, and mingyu takes a solid leap, landing ever so gracefully.

you shuffle your feet for a moment, making the mistake of looking down. mingyu notices your hesitation and tries to encourage you the best he can. “it looks scary, but it’s a relatively easy jump. i swear. that’s gotta mean something coming from a person with a fear of heights.”

clenching your fists, you try to steady your breathing. “don’t you lie to me, kim.”

there’s something strangely charming about you using his last name whenever you’re scolding him. “c’mon. i’ve always thought you were fearless. you’re not gonna diminish the idea i have of you, right?”

curse him for using your words against you like that.

clenching your fists, you bite your lip, the worst case scenario going through your head over and over.

“just go back a couple steps. steady your breathing, and then you run. okay?”

you don’t respond to his words but do as he says anyways. the jump isn’t even that far, you’re just afraid of tripping.

but you won’t go out embarrassing yourself in front of kim mingyu. your pride is too strong for that.

so you take a deep breath and make a run for it, jumping over the gap and landing on top of the other roof, far away from the edge. mingyu laughs triumphantly. “good job.”

“thanks.” you smile as he helps you up to your feet, and you dust off your jacket, proud of yourself for going through with it.

the two of you walk over to the glass window, and you kneel down, inspecting the lock. thank fuck — it’s so simple that all you have to do is click it open. you’re guessing they probably thought the security walking around was enough.

with your hands covered in gloves, you wiggle them through the gap and crack it open, after which mingyu takes the lead. he lets himself drop into the office silently, looking up at you as a gesture for you to follow him.

you attempt to do the same as him, but you figure he must have strong arm muscles, because you’re barely able to hold yourself up the way he can. he notices your struggle and moves to stand underneath you.

“just let go. i’ll catch you.”

“are you sure?”

he nods, his arms up as if he’s waiting for you to jump right into them. “yeah, yeah. i got you.”

not entirely convinced, you try to drop onto the floor in a way you can still hold yourself up, but mingyu proves himself true to his word when he catches you as easily as drawing his next breath. he looks you in the eye while he has you in his arms, his senses feeling heightened as your clothed skin touches with his.

then you tap on his shoulder, and he lets go of you.

the office is bigger than anticipated. the moonlight from outside is bright enough for you to not need a flashlight, so that’s beneficial.

mingyu is awfully quick on his feet for someone as tall and bulky as him. he’s quiet in every step he takes, which is useful in a situation like this.

while he begins to look through a bunch of drawers, you open cabinet after cabinet, going through some documents that don’t really contain anything interesting.

you turn to look at the desk and the painting on the wall behind it. it’s nothing spectacular — your father never had much of an appreciation for art, so you find it strange he’d even have it up here.

out of sheer curiosity, you try to check if there’s a secret stash behind the painting like in those crime movies.

you have to refrain from laughing when your eyes fall onto the safe in the wall. “hey. gyu.”

he turns around, his entire demeanor changing when he sees what you’ve found. “you’re kidding.”

the safe has a surprisingly easy system. it has four dials, so you need a code with four numbers to get access to whatever’s inside. you change the dials to your birth year for fun, but naturally, it doesn’t work. hell, mingyu’s birth year might have a better shot.

while you try out every combination you can think of, mingyu gets the little notebook out of his pocket — the one that was part of your father’s inheritance. he flips to one of the last pages. “try 9-3-6-8.”

going with his suggestion, you rotate the dials until they have the right numbers, and you hear a click. blinking a few times, you turn the small crank wheel beside the dials and open the safe.

there’s not much inside in terms of quantity, but the things that are in there are no joke.

two gold ingots, a stack of files and a loaded handgun with a silencer attached to it.

“what the fuck was he up to?” mingyu asks rhetorically, inspecting the pistol with care, and you shrug, grabbing the files to put them into the bag you took with you.

“i don’t know, but we should hurry up. we can look at whatever all this is later. clock’s ticking.”

he figures you make a good point, so you hold out your bag, and he puts all of the safe’s contents into it.

you’re both scared to death when you suddenly hear voices coming from the other side of the door. you immediately zip up your bag and close the safe back up, putting the painting right back in front of it.

footsteps come approaching your direction, and you realize you don’t have enough time to get back out of the office without being caught red-handed, so you’ll have to find a place to hide.

just as you’re about to go sit underneath the desk, mingyu doesn’t hesitate to grab you by your hand and pull you against his body, both of you hiding in the small gap between the bookcase and the wall, which is right next to the door.

you almost jump in your place when the door is opened by a security guard, and mingyu puts his hand over your mouth to make sure the guard doesn’t hear you.

thankfully, you’re hidden right behind the door now that it’s opened, but your heart is fucking pounding as your chest is pressed against mingyu’s, and all you can focus on is him.

he’s suffocatingly close to you.

the situation forces you to look at him so closely — like never before. your attention trails down from his dark eyes to the litte mole on the bottom of his nose, the shape of his lips, and the glimpse you catch of the silver chain adorning his collarbones.

it’s the first time you see how big of a man he is. he’s been working out a lot in the past few years, with considerable results — standing this close to him highlights the contrast between his frame and yours.

the footsteps leave the office not long after, and the door closes. you’re finally able to breathe properly when he releases his palm from your mouth, and you inhale and exhale deeply.

“you alright?”

“yeah. that was just — scary.” you respond, cracking a little smile.

he nods, neither of you really moving in your places yet. “you can let go of me, y’know.” mingyu whispers, sounding entirely unconvincing, and you frown before looking to your hand that’s apparently been clutching his jacket this whole time.

“oh, yeah. sorry.”

“it’s okay.” he assures you, pointing to the ceiling. “we should probably head back.”

you agree and sling the bag over your shoulders, on your back. he gets onto the desk first so he can climb out the same window you used to get in, and once he’s gotten up the roof again, he extends his hand to you so he can pull you up.

it doesn’t go smoothly. he’s a little clumsy, but he manages, so you take a breather once you’ve made it out of the office with him. you close the window in the exact position it was before you opened it, and you make it to the safety of the rooftop where you started just twenty minutes ago.

as you quickly go down the stairs of the abandoned building to reach the ground floor, he laughs triumphantly. “holy fucking shit. i can’t believe we actually pulled that off.”

you smile at him with adrenaline still rushing through you, heart still pounding in your chest when you realize what you just did.

and honestly, you don’t think you’ve ever felt that… alive.

a mere fifteen minutes later, you’re seated in a half-empty diner with him. he’s across from you in the booth, elbows on the table as he fiddles with his fingers.

while he looks around the place, you take the files you found in the safe out of your bag so you can look them over.

as your eyes fall onto the first page, you frown.

mingyu notices your gaze. “what’s wrong?”

you switch to the other file folders before scoffing to yourself, realization hitting you. “you gotta be fucking kidding me. they’re tabs he kept on the people around him. the staff at home, his driver... even me. and you. well, looks like he didn’t trust you completely.”

before he can even reply to the subtle dig, you slide the folder with his name on it across the table, and he opens it up, noticing a huge chunk of information on him neatly stashed away in separate documents. there’s even candids there that must’ve been made by a private investigator.

“i knew he was paranoid, but this takes the cake.” you mutter, and you throw the folders back into your bag, and mingyu hands you his so you can take it as well.

“well, this sucks.” he sighs. “those files aren’t of much use, so now we’re back to square one.”

you tilt your head. “that’s not entirely true. we might be able to check where the gun came from, or whose name it’s registered under.”

mingyu hums, lifting the cup to his mouth, whispering a compliment, not really expecting for you to hear it. “smart girl.”

with your bag zipped up and everything off the table again, it’s quiet between you and mingyu for a moment.

“god, i’m starving.” he says as you wait for your food to arrive, and where he’s slightly fidgeting in his place, you sit completely still, looking at him with a frown. once he catches your gaze, he raises a brow at you. “what?”

“do you do this often?”

“eating in a cheap diner?”

“trespassing. breaking in. illegal activities. whatever you wanna call it.”

he shrugs. “occasionally. keeps life interesting, y’know?”

the casualness in his attitude makes you scoff. “sure.”

“you don’t agree?”

“i didn’t say that.”

“no, but then again, you don’t really say much at all.” he says bluntly. he doesn’t mean it as an offensive statement in the slightest, but it would’ve probably sounded better if worded differently.

for a moment, he thinks his impulsivity must’ve upset you, seeing as you remain silent for a moment.

then you laugh at him. the sound is completely new to him, yet strangely soothing to his ears.

“you’re bold, i’ll give you that.” you snicker before taking a sip of your coke. “but i assume you don’t have an issue with people who are on the quieter side, since you’re besties with wonwoo and all.”

mingyu mimics your facial expressions. “yeah, i prefer being around quieter people more. but i didn’t—it came out wrong. i meant, you don’t really, like... show who you are. if that makes sense. even back when we were in high school, you were like a mystery. you still are, to me.”

“is this what this whole partnering-up thing is about? you wanting to unravel the mystery about me? because if it is, i’ll give you credit for the creativity.”

mingyu tilts his head. “well, it’s a little more nuanced than that.”

“if you wanted to get to know me, why didn’t you try years ago?”

“have you met you?”

you roll your eyes. he smirks at you, enjoying your company quite a lot, anticipating whatever it is you’ll say in response.

“you wanna know something, mingyu?”

“yeah.”

“you’re telling me i’m the mysterious one, but i’d say that’s you.”

his playfulness falters a bit, and he shows his confusion instead. “me?”

“mhm. you’re popular, good-looking, charming, all of that — and i think you’ve got layers to yourself that no one even knows about. characteristics no one would ever dare imagine when they think of you.”

his breath hitches in his throat. “why do you think that?”

twisting your lips into a pout, you put your drink back down on the table. “wouldn’t be any fun if i outright told you, would it?”

mingyu narrows his eyes at you. you just shrug, as if to tell him he’ll figure it out, if he’s smart enough.

and he welcomes the challenge.

“okay.” he smiles, biting his lip when he leans back in his seat. “but, hypothetically — what if you’re wrong about me? what if i don’t have those layers you’re talking about?”

you eye him up and down, remaining quiet with your arms crossed over your chest. you’ve always had that attitude. like you know more than everyone else, as if you’re the smartest person in the room. usually, you are. and yet you’re never smug about it, unless someone challenges you to be — you’re always calm, cool, collected. stoic. the fact that wonwoo of all people called you an ice princess years ago says enough.

“i’d be sorely disappointed.”

“so you have high expectations of me?”

“in a way, perhaps. though you’ll have to work a little harder to impress me.”

“tonight wasn’t enough?”

“it was a start. we still loathe eachother, remember?”

“right. i’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

sure, you and kim mingyu hate one another, but he still makes you smile the most anyone has in ages, and you make him feel more alive than anyone else has.

vii. FRIENDS CLOSE, ENEMIES CLOSER

“i’ve got bad news.” you say, tapping your nails on the coffee table in your living room as you have mingyu on speaker.

“okay. do tell.”

“the gun isn’t registered, so we pretty much only have the files as evidence.”

“yeah. i doubt your father put those files together himself, since they seem like the work of a professional. we might be smart to seek out the private investigator who gave him the intel.”

you know he hears you sigh at the other end of the line, and your response hardly sound convincing. “yeah, i guess.”

“what’s wrong?”

it’s quiet for a moment. you speak up with a tension rumbling in your chest. “maybe we should just quit, gyu. i don’t feel like what we’re doing is actually going anywhere. we still don’t have a proper lead.”

then it’s his turn to remain silent, and you swear you can hear his breath shudder. “we’ll get there. it just... takes some time.”

“you sound a little too sure of that.”

“i just think it’d be a waste to not continue after the stunt we pulled last week.”

“what’re we gonna be doing next? breaking into the national bank?”

“something tells me you’d find that exciting.”

well, shit. have you become so transparent that kim mingyu of all people can tell the truth about you?

“maybe i would.” you grumble like a child admitting defeat.

the sound of his laughter echoes through the phone. it subconsciously brings a small smile to your face.

“look, i have a meeting ‘til five. i can come by after to brainstorm about things, pick up some food on the way. are you free tonight?”

“yeah. text me when you’re on the way here.”

“yes, ma’am.” he jests, saying he’s got to go before hanging up. it leaves you to stare at your phone for a minute. a past version of yourself would never believe it if you said mingyu would ever get close to you in the way he has over the past two months. it’s been a strange time. it’s come to the point you’re pretty sure you don’t even hate him as much as you used to.

maybe you don’t even hate him at all anymore. maybe.

but something about admitting that to yourself feels scary, so you put your thoughts elsewhere while secretly looking forward to having him come over again.

it’s a quarter past five when he sends you a message, letting you know he’s picked up the food and on the way to your house, and a mere twenty minutes later, you and him are seated in the lounge on the first floor as he tells you about his day – all while shoving a dumpling into his mouth.

what interrupts you, however, is the noise of your doorbell. mingyu frowns instantly, and you mimic his expression, because you weren’t expecting any more company. “who’s that?”

“no idea.” you shrug, so you get up from your seat, jogging down the stairs with mingyu following you, simultaneously chewing the food in his mouth.

checking the screen beside the door that’s connected to the doorbell, you notice a familiar face standing outside.

“isn’t he the main detective on the investigation?” mingyu asks rhetorically, his body language changing to something more stiff. “what is he doing here?”

“good question. i certainly didn’t invite him, but the guy at the front gate probably told him i was home. fuck — you have to hide.”

“hide? why?”

because the detective thinks you still hate mingyu, so seeing him here would make your story hardly plausible. “because he can’t see you, obviously. get upstairs and stay there. i’ll distract him.” 

“are you sure?”

“yeah, so go!” you push him back with your hands on his chest, and he seems hesitant to leave you by yourself, but he eventually jogs up the stairs again to get out of sight.

the inspector smiles only as a formality. you do the same. you haven’t spoken to him since you indirectly accused him of being an asshole, a while before your father’s funeral.

“good evening. i hope i haven’t come at a bad time. may i come in?”

“i have to take a business call soon, actually, so another time would be—”

“i won’t be long. i assume you’d like to have an update on the investigation?”

well, fuck. he’s got you there, so you’re forced to let him in, but you don’t let him wonder and gesture for him to sit down in the living room, on the couch. you move to take the seat directly across from him to ensure his focus is on you, instead of on the huge staircase behind him.

“am i still at the top of your list?” you ask. when the man tries to find the right words to respond, you scoff, filling in the blanks. of course you still are. “but you have no evidence.” 

“it’s not about evidence — moreso the lack thereof. i’m stuck with two people who each have a solid motive, an alibi that’s far from foolproof, and an important tie to the victim. you cannot deny that.” 

“is this another interrogation? because this is all off-record.”

“not an interrogation. i was just wondering something – back when i spoke to you last, before your father’s funeral, i asked what you could tell me about kim mingyu, your father’s former associate.” hearing him say his name makes you anxious, yet you pull every possible muscle to hide it. “you spoke of him as if he were the devil himself. you clearly hated him, perhaps more than you hated your father.”

“and?”

he pulls something from the inside of his jacket, and you discover they’re a few candids, photos taken of you with mingyu while out in the city. well, that’s just fucking great. you’re gonna have to make use of your top-notch acting skills here.

“i’m sure you wouldn’t mind me asking why you’re suddenly seeing someone you claim to hate as much as you do.”

the blankness of your face dissolves as you adapt a more playful and sassy persona. “you came all the way to my home for this? a few photos?”

“a few photos of my two main suspects together for a reason i cannot think of, yes.”

“you can’t think of a single thing? really? no offense, but i was under the impression you were at least a little clever.”

the man stares at you as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle. that can only mean one thing – he’s falling for your act.

what an idiot.

you lean forward in your place, the dry smile remaining on your face. “i fucked him. several times, actually.”

he narrows his eyes at your statement. “i thought you told me you hated him.”

“oh, i do. but a good hate-fuck is the best way to release some frustration. you should try it sometime.” the sound of your voice is monotonous as you utter the words in one go.

“i’ll keep it in mind.” he sarcastically responds with a fake smile, and you copy his body language, pleased to see you’ve made him somewhat uncomfortable.

he clearly wants to change the subject, but you don’t feel like continuing this conversation any longer. “if you’ll excuse me, i really have more pressing matters, so i trust you can see yourself out.”

the inspector huffs a bit, but he knows better than to overstay his welcome. he wordlessly allows you to let you walk him to the door before turning around. “i hope you know who you’re dealing with. not everyone is who they say they are.”

leaving you confused, he looks at you a moment, proceeding to walk out your front door, after which you close it. did he know more than he was willing to let on? what a strange visit.

when you finally decide to turn around, you see mingyu standing in the middle of the stairs, looking a little baffled, at which you roll your eyes.

“why would you tell him that?”

“would you have preferred it if i told him the truth?”

“would that be so bad?”

you scoff, passing him on the staircase. “see, this is what i mean when i say you’re not as smart as you think you are.”

mingyu follows you back up to the lounge. “i’m just saying — maybe it’d make us look less suspicious.”

“it’d do the opposite, gyu. trust me.”

“okay. fine. but out of all the things you could’ve said, why that?”

“well, it made him uncomfortable, making it easier to get him to leave early. and, well… you know what you look like.”

the last sentence really grabs his attention.

“what i look like?” he repeats, knowing damn well what you’re getting at, but he’s eager to hear you spell it out for him.

“well, you’re somewhat good-looking. it’s one of your few strong points, actually.”

“so you think i’m hot?”

“didn’t quite say that.”

“no, but you implied it.”

“not really. you may be conventionally handsome, gyu, but attraction is a whole different thing.”

“oh, c’mon. admit it. i’m willing to, so…”

“do i need to remind you i said we’d keep things professional? which you agreed to.”

“god, you’re so tough.”

“part of my charm. maybe that’s why you like me so much.”

“i never said i liked you.”

“no, you didn’t have to.” you scoff, laughing at him, and mingyu feels the corners of his lips curling up — because you’re right.

then, as you plop down on the seats in the lounge again, you sigh as you look at the papers scattered across the table.

“you know, it’s been weeks, and we still haven’t got the slightest clue who’s the killer,” you frown, fingers resting on your collarbone, “and if i’m being honest, i doubt we ever will.”

mingyu briefly narrows his eyes at you, proceeding to take his laptop out of his bag. you watch curiously when he silently types away at his keyboard, then turning the device around and clicking on the play button.

suddenly you hear your own voice, and the words — you said those during the interrogations. how the hell did he get his hands on those recordings?

he seems to be able to read your mind. “i’ve got a contact in the force. he sent me the sorted files of everyone who was interrogated. we should probably listen to them, right? after all, we know more about the situation than the detectives.”

blinking a few times, you shrug and nod in agreement, so he increases the volume and presses the button again.

the following two and a half hours are spent listening to the recordings and taking notes of important things. you’re only halfway through them, but doing this the whole time really sucks you dry of energy.

at a certain point, you press the pause button and get up from your seat, moving to the liquor cabinet a few meters away. “you like a good whiskey, right?”

“yeah. how’d you know?”

“i observe and listen. that, and i heard you say it to wonwoo one time.”

he chuckles at your words, watching you take the bottle with two glasses and set it down on the table.

once you’ve poured the liquid into the glass, he takes what you offer him and down it in one go, after which you give him a judgemental stare. “seriously?”

“sorry. had a rough day.”

your gaze softens, and you pour him a second glass as he holds it out. “why?”

“i just… haven’t been feeling great lately. not really sure why.”

well, that’s interesting. “your conscience eating away at you?”

his eyes widen an uncharacteristical amount, and your face is blank for a few moments until you crack a smile. he laughs it off, squeezing his hands together, which you take notice of.

“guess you could say that. no, i don’t know. my sister’s been stressed and she won’t tell me why, which is odd ‘cause she always comes to me — and my mother’s been overworking herself, and i’m worried for her.”

pursing your lips together, you cast your eyes down for a moment.

for some reason, you feel a sense of repulsiveness whenever mingyu speaks of his family like that. as if it’s a reminder of what you didn’t have.

but you don’t show it.

“sounds tough.” you reply, not intending to sound distant — you just find it difficult to know what to say.

what you fail to recognize is that mingyu sees it. he sees your struggle and the emotions you think are so deeply hidden underneath the surface. they actually are, to be honest, but he’s come to know you and with that the way you hold yourself. and he’s suddenly able to read you better.

you’re made of sharp edges only — broken glass on all sides.

he takes another sip of his drink. you down yours in one go.

“can i ask you something?”

“sure.”

mingyu’s eyes curiously follow your every move, the alcohol in his system making him bolder. “how are you holding up?”

“me? ‘m fine. why do you ask?”

“i think mostly ‘cause i’ve asked you a lot of questions, but not that one.”

the words make you silent for a moment, and you let out a knowing sigh when you realize what he’s getting at. “i told you i was glad he died, gyu.”

“i know. but even if you are, you can still find it difficult to deal with.”

you inhale and exhale slowly, leaning back against the wall for a moment, staring into nothing. “i’m not sad that he’s gone. i never will be. but there’s things i wanted to ask him.”

when you don’t continue, he asks you to. “what things?”

“things about my youth, my mother… hell, maybe even about you.” you shrug, chuckling for a brief moment, but the sound is gone as soon as it came. “but i think, mostly, i’d ask if he saw himself in me.”

mingyu is intrigued by your answer. “why would you wanna know that?”

you shrug, your tiredness contributing to you opening up. “because maybe i’d hear the answer i want to hear, and not the one i currently have. my worst nightmare has always been to turn into him.”

“you won’t be like him.” he tries to tell you, but you shake your head.

“i already am. i hated him to the bone, and yet i act like him, sound like him, handle things like him — because he taught me everything i know. at the end of the day, i am my father’s daughter. there’s no changing that.”

“you’re not a bad person. he was.”

“how would you know? he was nice to you. stand-offish, probably, but nice.”

“you don’t think i had an idea of what kind of person he was? i cared for him, but i knew he could be harsh. i caught some bits and pieces when he… yelled at you after our high school graduation.”

you have an almost visceral reaction as he mentions the incident. your father had yelled at you after the graduation, because the best student of your class got a prize on the big podium, and it wasn’t you. and that as a result made your father angry, because being in the top five wasn’t enough — because it should’ve been you.

it was always supposed to be you.

“why did you even want to be around him at all? if you knew how much of an asshole he was all this time.”

mingyu stares at the wall for a few seconds when he thinks about it. “he came into my life when i needed it the most. but looking back, i feel guilty. i shouldn’t have cared for someone like that.”

“like what?”

“someone that cruel. he didn’t deserve to be loved or cared for, not in any way.”

“can only good people be loved?” you ask in return, and he seems positively surprised at your question.

“you’d find love for a bad person?”

“mingyu.” you say his name in a brief chuckle, and it steals his breath away. “do you think you have that much of a choice over who we love? we don’t. that’s what makes it so complicated.”

he seems to grow increasingly stressed with each thing you say, much to your surprise. “but would you want to love someone like that?”

looking away from him for a moment, you think his words over. “if that person was good to me, and had the same values… yeah, i would. trust me, the few people i care about are no saints, and yet i’d go to hell and back for them.”

“am i on that list too?”

you meet his eyes, and his expression is so beautifully genuine, full of raw emotion you’ve never seen him show before. it’s then that it finally hits you — kim mingyu actually cares about you.

the worst thing is that you just might care about him, too.

so you gently smile at him with a light shrug of your shoulders. “maybe.”

he reciprocates it, his brown eyes blown wide as he gazes at you. “i’m glad. you’re on my list too, y’know.”

“am i?” you tease, and he nods cheerfully, happy to have verbalized his appreciation for you. “well, i didn’t really see it coming, that’s for sure.”

your words bring mingyu’s thoughts back to the death of your father, the rift you accused him of causing between the two of you. a wave of guilt comes flooding in once more.

“look, i… i know you may not believe me, but i genuinely feel sorry for what happened. for taking something from you. despite the things i saw and heard, i really was too stupid to see that your dad treated you as badly as he did.”

staring him right in the eye, you don’t fail to catch the earnestness in them. “it’s alright. you’re not half as much to blame as i’ve tried to make myself believe you were.”

the words intrigue him. “how come?”

swallowing the lump in your throat, you press your lips together. “because he didn’t care about me. he never did. maybe he was different before my mother died, maybe he wasn’t. i wouldn’t know.”

mingyu tries to hold his ground as he watches you get emotional. he remains quiet in his spot next to you.

“can i tell you something?” your voice is hesitant and almost inaudible, like a child who’s trying to tell their parent they did something wrong.

when he silently nods, you continue.

“you wanted to know why i hated you, right? well, i...” you pause in an attempt to find the right words, “i felt invisible to my father. like i didn’t matter — i was treated like nothing more than a tool to improve his businesses. but you... he treated you like a son. like a person. and i spent years trying to figure out what i did wrong and you did right, and i just... i didn’t get it. i still don’t. but whatever it was, i was jealous that you had it and i didn’t. and everyone loved you and praised you, be it our friends or their parents. everyone in our social circle. from my point of view, no one had ever uttered a single bad word about you, and then when my father began to take a liking towards you as well... i just hated you. you were my perfect scapegoat.”

the guilt on his face is clear as day. when he parts his lips, you already know he wants to apologize again, but you shake your head, speaking up first.

because you don’t hate him anymore.

“mingyu, there was nothing for you to take away from me to begin with. long before you were even present in his life, he didn’t care for me either.” with the corners of your lips turned down, you continue. “i did everything he asked. perfect grades, perfect manners, perfect social life. but he didn’t care. it’s not often i say people have no heart, but he just… he just didn’t have one. for his job, perhaps, for his business partners — but not for anyone outside of his work. i just didn’t think that would go for his own child, too.”

you reach for your forehead, trying to take his attention away from your face, running your hand through your hair while blinking your tears away. why are you telling him all this?

but it just feels so good to finally get it all out.

“you did the best you could.” he tells you, and you nod with watery eyes.

“i did. and somehow, none of it mattered.”

when the first heavy sob leaves you, you try to hold it back, not wanting him to see you break down.

he doesn’t let you. he moves to sit next to you and takes you into his arms, and for the first time in however long, you let yourself break. the tears are your acknowledgement of the pain it has caused you over the years, the damage that will never quite heal and always follow you wherever you go.

you’re not sure why you’re falling apart this easily. you hardly ever cry anymore, perhaps a few times a year, and you usually feel strong enough to hold it all back when you’re in front of others, but this time — this time, you just can’t.

“it’s alright, sweetheart. it’s okay. you’re alright. he’s gone now.” he whispers into your ear as comfort. “but you’re not alone. not anymore.”

his heart shatters when he internally makes the comparison between the loving family he grew up in and the lonely, broken family you could hardly call home.

“why wasn’t i enough? why didn’t he like me?” you mutter to yourself, having lost control as you cry into mingyu’s neck, clinging onto his body as your chest aches.

“because he couldn’t. he didn’t have it in him to care for anyone. that says more about him than it does about you.” he responds, gently stroking your hair, even pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

and for the first time in a long time, you feel… cared for. like you truly matter to someone.

something that feels scary, perhaps even strange, but good.

mingyu’s big arms cage you into his hold, a comforting feeling. to be honest, you wish you could stay with him like this for the whole night. maybe even longer than that.

he rubs your back, feeling the pain in your chest as if it were his own. he’d take all of it if he could. you were damaged in a way that no one deserves, and seeing how much it still affects you and most likely will in the long term, that tears him apart.

the heavy ache in your chest subsides, yet you still cling onto him. you feel the most at ease you’ve ever been with anyone.

“thank you.” you mumble, giving him a tight hug with you wrapping your arms around him ‘till he’s almost suffocating. “i needed that.”

“anytime.”

you eventually finally come down from your breakdown, body slightly twitching as the last tears silently roll down your cheeks.

with your head in his lap, you lay on your side, closing your eyes for a while as the pain in your chest slowly subsides. he’s still rubbing at your clothed skin, and you’re curious if he’s aware it does wonders for calming you down.

“i’m sorry for yelling at you, gyu. after the funeral.” you speak up, voice still raspy. “i was wrong about you.”

mingyu feels his throat tighten up. “it’s okay. i was wrong about you, too. we have more in common than i initially thought we did.”

you wipe your tears away and move to sit upright, finally feeling confident enough to look him in the eye again. “like what?”

both of you are tired. everything that’s happened the past weeks has definitely been causing some sleepless nights for both of you, and with all the alcohol and emotions running high, you’re both feeling a tad drowsy.

he runs a hand through his dark locks. “this part of society — i think it’s exhausting, a lot of the time. full of noise, small talk that’s supposed to hide how cold half these people are, social pressure, all of that. but here, at home, it’s quiet. maybe a little too quiet. the thing is, i have my friends and family that i care about more than anyone else, but i still feel… hollow. like i’m missing something.”

you nod at him. “you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.”

“yeah.” he sighs. “do you feel it too?”

“well, i may not have a family, but i have my friends. and they mean so much to me, and i can talk to them if i need to, but… yeah. i feel it too.”

he wonders if you feel the same connection that he’s feeling right now. he’s drawn to you like a damn magnet.

mingyu already knows he’s a goner when he gently puts his hand on your cheek. he feels electrified by your presence, your voice, even the way you look at him.

he needs you.

“maybe we can be lonely together.”

his words are enough for your breath to hitch in your throat. you doubt you’ve ever wanted to have someone as much as you do now.

and so you cross a line you never thought you would and press your lips to his, desperately needing his touch.

the kiss is harsh but slow, as if you’re aching to taste eachother. his hand makes its way to the back of your head, the other on your back to pull you closer to him.

his heart might as well be lurching out of his chest. god, he feels that excitement and nervousness as if he were his teenage self sharing a first kiss with his crush — yet whatever feeling is clouding his mind is something darker and deeper, something that transcends what he can describe with words.

he kisses you like his life depends on it. once you’ve both pulled back to get some air, looking the other straight in the eye, it’s like you’re silently admitting that the relationship you share is more than just being partners.

it’s something that comes alarmingly close to love.

the moment is harshly interrupted when his phone rings. he blinks a few times before rolling his eyes at the timing, as he’s still half on top of you.

you can do nothing but wait underneath him as he takes the call, and when he closes his eyes and releases a sigh, you know it’s not positive.

“alright, thank you.” he says before hanging up, turning his focus to you. “the alarm at my apartment in the city was triggered. i gotta check it out, i’m sorry.”

“it’s fine.” you mutter out, suddenly unsure of how to talk to him now that you’ve crossed the line that you have.

but mingyu is much more straightforward. his gaze is warm and intense as it finds your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to stay here with you. so he shows you that.

just when your lips are about to touch again, he smirks, gently holding your chin. “i’ll be back for this.”

with those words, he catches his breath and gets up from the couch, after which he jogs down the stairs, and half a minute later, you hear the front doors open and close.

the sound allows you to release the breath you’ve been holding.

what the fuck have you gotten yourself into?

thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x

READ PART TWO HERE

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[yeostars]

ᝰ.ᐟ꩜ Down bad, but at what cost?

ʬʬ yeostars 2024™

•pairing- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ kang yeosang x y/n •genre- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ angst.ᐟ fluff.ᐟ a few bits of slice of life here and there. •synopsis- kang yeosang. your sworn academic rival, your enemy, your nemesis. he's got everything: from outstanding looks, that smart sexy brain of his, and....a perfect personality. well, is it actually perfect? Yeosang, the perfect kang yeosang, who appears to be the politest, nicest, most well mannered gentleman on the outside....what does he hide behind that facade of his? And why does he only show his true colours to you, his sworn enemy? And why.... god forbid why, do you have to fall for him? you, y/n, not anything less than him; you're just as a perfect role model student and an academic topper like him. Together, you would make the perfect "power couple" a title the entire school has given to the both of you. But it's never supposed to be anything like that. You're not supposed to get involved with yeosang in such a way.... he's your rival, and that's it. To hell with this growing attraction towards your rival, but what if, just what if....yeosang feels the same towards you.. You're down bad for kang yeosang.....but at what cost? •warnings- mentions of family conflict, nothing more except for angst/conflicts in some parts. •author's note- I've alwaysss wanted to write a enemies/rivals to lovers story featuring yeosang aka my bias, and seems like I got hold of the perfect plot in mind for the same. To my fellow enemies to lovers enthusiasts and yeodongies, this one is for y'all. !! In one of the ending scenes, there's inspo taken from the English translation of the song lyrics "Kaise Hua" :) pls ignore the typos, i don't proofread and i just realised, while reviewing this fic after posting that i made quite a few typos at the end, sorry for thatt 😭😭 Notes, reblogs, comments, follows & shares are always immensely appreciated <3. Enjoy reading ❤️

Amidst the soft rustling of the pages and the gentle hum of the ceiling fans, you peeked out of the nearby glass window, suddenly admiring how pretty the trees and clouds looked like. You could've sworn today was a good day indeed. You continued skimming through your mathematics textbook and grabbed your pen to note down a formula you had a hard time understanding the concept of.

And ofcourse, to make your day worse (or better, but you would never admit that) he had to step into the library. Just the perfect timing to get blessed by your presence, kang yeosang.

So much to ask for a normal, peaceful day..

You didn't even look up to see him, or perhaps even acknowledge his presence, when he sat opposite your direction, just a few chairs away. You didn't need to acknowledge his presence. It wasn't like he was your friend, that was your sworn enemy, your academic rival.

He quietly sat down, placing his designer school bag at a chair alongside the one where he was sitting, and placed a textbook on the table, flipping a few pages. Okay, maybe you were staring at him, but he didn't need to know that. You had the ability to stare at someone without them knowing that you were staring at them. That's what you've done all this time, to have a long, good, piercing stare at yeosang, and notice just everything about him. ... without him knowing that you're so interested in him and everything he does.

You didn't know why the tension in the room suddenly seemed...... intense. It was all good a few minutes ago, when you were peacefully studying alone. It's peaceful now, too, ofcourse. Yeosang was, by no means, a loud person. The only noise in the room was that of the ceiling fans, and the soft rustle of the book pages. Just like before.

But now, you were alone in the library halls with your rival. Nothing serious, right? You could get your studying done in a few and leave. No biggie. There was no need to get nervous around him.

But the problem was, that well, you did feel nervous around him. So nervous that your hands started sweating and your grip on the pen you were holding, tightened. And he-kang yeosang, probably doesn't give a single shit. Why would he? He's here to get studying done like you, too, nothing else.

You clicked your tongue, repeatedly clicking your pen without even realising it, as you continued to just stare at the formula you just noted down in your notebook.

Why was it so hard to understand this one? You tried to wrap your head around this formula for quite a few minutes, now, even after yeosang joined you in the library. And you still couldn't understand how to apply this formula in the sum you were supposed to solve. Saying that you were losing your mind right now was a understatement. Maybe you should've paid more attention during maths lecture, but even if you did, you knew that there was still a possibility that you would have a hard time with it.

Because, really, mathematics just wasn't your cup of tea.

"What could possibly be a subject that has you loosing your absolute shit, y/n?" You heard a voice, loud and clear, and you almost wished you didn't have the ability to hear.

Because you knew where this was going.

"Ah, ofcourse - it's mathematics. The only subject that my beloved rival can't beat me in." Yeosang said, chuckling softly.

You raised your head, now making direct eye contact him, and ofcourse, he had his usual smirk plastered on that perfect freaking face.

He looked.....just as perfect as always. You hated to admit it but yeosang was definitely the most good-looking guy you had ever seen in your life. A "literal greek god" "a living statue" were the names given to him by the entire school- and you couldn't disagree.

He raised an eyebrow as you realised that you were mindlessly staring at the collar of his shirt, and your cheeks immediately flushed, as you moved your gaze back to your books.

"S-shut up, yeosang." You replied. Those two words, "shut up" are probably the only words that you say to yeosang. And it has him smirking even wider, every time.

"Aw, c'mon, I bet you need my help with whatever sum you're stuck with, right there." He said, trying to get a better look at your notebook from where he was sitting. But it didn't help much because he was kinda far away from you.

He was correct, you did need his help. Kang yeosang, the straight A's student in every subject including mathematics, your weakest spot. You got A's in mathematics, too, but not always. The "B" grade on your result sheet alongside mathamatics was getting quite common in the past years, and it never failed to ruin you.

But you weren't going to take his help. No, never. You would walk a thousand miles at the doorstep of your cranky mathamatics professor and ask for his help, but asking Yeosang for helping you? Not possible. You both never asked the latter for any help in a subject before. If yeosang did help you in solving your doubt, it would definitely be the first time he's ever helped you. You would get to know how your rival grasps a particular concept and how he tutors someone.... and you were dying to know this.

"I AM struggling with a concept here, but I don't need your help. I'm sure I'll get it soon if I connect some dots." You replied, almost talking to yourself. Liar. This shitty formula was getting over your head and there was no way you'd understand it by yourself now.

Yeosang scowled, suddenly got up from his seat and walked towards you. Your heartbeat, your stupid heartbeat quickened, as he stood alongside where you were sitting, resting his hand against your textbook. After a quick glance at your books, he looked at you.

"Don't tell me you're struggling with THIS formula. It was literally just taught to us, like last week." He said, and the fact that he was so close to you right now, his words made even more impact. Stupid, stupid girl. He was right. You should'nt be struggling with a formula that was just recently taught to you.

Everyone has their own weaknesses, right? Maths was yours, obviously. But it was bitter to admit that in front of kang yeosang, the so called mathamatics genius.

"So what? If you're just gonna tease me on this, leave. I'll ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, he'll explain me better than you will." You replied coldly, a small pout forming on your lips, as you still stared at the books in front of you, not daring to look at yeosang.

"Well, good for you, I'm here instead. Perhaps i could waste a few minutes of mine teaching you this." He said, smirking yet again.

"I TOLD you I will ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, no thanks-"

"So are you stuck on how to use this formula in this sum or you didn't even get the basic understanding of this formula?" Yeosang asked, not even letting you finish your sentence, as he pulled out the chair alongside yours and sat besides you.

Well, you guess, you didn't really have a choice now.

"I just don't get how you apply this formula to a sum, like this example, stated right here...." You said, pointing towards a section in your textbook. Yeosang leaned in closer, listening to you carefully, and you could've sworn your heart was about to burst right then and there. He was leaning in to get a better look at your textbook and not leaning TOWARDS YOU, y/n. Get that inside your head.

"Hmm. Got it. So basically, you...." Yeosang started, and somehow, his voice was gentler as he started explaining the concept to you. It always baffled you how yeosang maintained his two-faced personality. Not in a negative way, really. But that was just one of the many things you noticed about him.

He always acted so polite, so gentle, so kind and appeared so well mannered with everyone. You never even saw him teasing someone playfully. He acted so unlike all the other rowdy boys in your school....It was like he somehow has some reputation to uphold.

And here, with you, the same kang yeosang that appeared as the kindest, most innocent soul- never missed an opportunity to tease you. The unending smirks plastered on his face on your every interaction with him, the unending banters on every possible topic, the unending teasing when you got even ONE mark less than him on a test, the unending playfulness whenever he was with you.

You don't even know when it all started, the fact that yeosang treated you differently. You weren't even sure if that was his true personality. You wanted to very badly, believe that it was. It had to be, right? Somehow it felt like he revealed his true colours to you, every time you guys shared a moment together.

"And that's how you do it. Common, solve a sum in front of me. I want to see if you understood what I just explained." He said, and you brought yourself back to reality. Oh, right. The freaking formula. So bossy, you thought. Why did you have to solve the sum in his presence? It wasn't like this was a test or that he was your tutor.

You complied, regardless, because well, he surely did help you for this one. You picked up your pen and started solving the sum according to that formula, all while yeosang had his gaze fixated on you solving the sum.

Fuck, if he's gonna stare at me like that, I might as well go to square one wherein i didn't understand a single thing.

You were nervous about making even a single mistake or appearing dumb in front of him. You continued solving, his explanation ringing in your head and voilà, you reached the conclusion. YOU SOLVED THE FREAKING SUM AND UNDERSTOOD THAT FORMULA!!!

You gaped at the notebook in front of you, not believing that you actually did it. You looked at yeosang and couldn't help but notice the small smile playing on his lips, almost as if he's proud.

"Thanks a lot....yeosang. That saved me lots of headaches, to be honest." He really was your lifesaver that day.

"Anytime. If rivals don't help each other, then who will?" He said, a genuine smile on his face. Witnessing that smile made your heart flutter. Damn, he looked good when he was genuinely smiling. He also looked hot when he's smirked every time. Fuck, he looked attractive all the time, and you should NOT be acknowledging or admitting that fact.

"Did you.....just replace friends with rivals in that phrase?" You said, laughing. You couldn't believe this man.

"Yeah, so what? We're rivals, after all, aren't we?" Yeosang replied, amused by the fact that he made you laugh.

"That's true. Think about it, this might be the very first time I've ever thanked you for something...you haven't really done something that's worth me thanking you." You said, and suddenly the air between the both of you felt.... lighter. Free of some sort of tension that was always there between the both of you. It was almost as if the both of you were friends, instead of rivals, having your casual banters..

"well, be grateful for that, i guess? You owe me one for today, by the way." He said, his tone a little manipulative. Well, here we're back to the original kang yeosang, you thought.

"Sure, if you need some sorta help regarding science, hit me up, although I doubt you that you will." You said, and immediately regretted the last words.

You basically admitted that you think he's a genius.

"And why do you think I won't need your help in science? That's the only subject that you're.....kinda....good at. And better than me, I guess." He admitted, sheepishly running his palms across the back of his neck.

"Yeah well, just because. If you do need some help with that though, don't hesitate to ask me, I'd be happy to teach my...rival. to return your favour, ofcourse." You said, closing all your books and packing then in your bag. Yeosang hummed at your words, getting up and returning to his original seat, as he tried to get back at what he was studying, not questioning the fact that you were already leaving.

You spared him one last glance as you exited the library, scrolling through your phone, totally not trying to think about how today's events with yeosang had your stomach swooning.

Another boring day at school. Currently, it was the third lecture and the history professor was late.....yet again. As you spinned the pen on your hand mindlessly, you thought about what menu would be served at the cafeteria today. Yesterday, it was something you didn't quite like much. You kept manifesting in your mind that they serve your favourite, katsu curry today.

Your boredom and mindless spacing came to an halt as the class intercom cackled to life. The usual "mic check" continued for the first few seconds, and all the students of your class suddenly stopped what they were doing, only to listen to the announcement that was to be made.

You straightened up, and didn't really bother listening unless you heard your name being called out on the intercom speakers. your name. along with kang yeosang's name. the actual hell?!?!

"Dear students, attention please. This is urgent. Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately. I repeat, Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately."

You opened your eyes wide, and you almost didn't believe your ears and the announcement, until you saw all your classmates staring at you....and yeosang, curious gazes and gossips spreading everywhere. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, and cocked your head back to the seats behind to see yeosang, who seemed just as confused as you were.

He met your eyes, as you both shared a bewildered look together. As he rose from his seat, agonizingly slowly, you did the same, following him outside your classroom.

"Surely I didn't do anything that's worth getting detention? Have you, y/n?" Yeosang asked, as casually as possible. As if the fact that the both of them were called together, alone, to the main halls was nothing surprising to him.

And here, you were trying to catch your breath, thinking of all possibilities as to WHY you, along with yeosang- your academic rival of all people, were called together, an announcement that was heard by the entire school.

"Ofcourse i didn't. For your information, I'm a role model student, and didn't even receive a single scolding by any teachers in my entire life- let alone a detention." You huffed, cursing mentally at yeosang for even thinking of you doing something worth of getting detention.

"So am i, smartass. Well then, since we're both the goodie two shoes, WHAT possibly could've been so urgent that they called the both of us...together?" Yeosang asked, sparing you a quick glance as the both of you continued to walk side by side, on your way to the main hall.

"How in the world would i know? I'm just as clueless as you. Why would they even need the both of us at the same time?" You asked, shrugging. At the shrug, you kinda gave off the impression that you didn't like....all this. The fact that you were summoned along with your dear rival. But that wasn't true in the slightest. More than anything, you craved to be together with yeosang, you treasured each moment you were together, nowadays. Even though it wasn't often.

You tend to ignore asking yourself, why do you even feel this way. Perhaps since the both of you aren't really together all the time, except for insulting each other, your playful banters and teasing from time to time, you actually looked forward to just...being with him. Being in his presence. Him giving you attention. Even though it was literally just him teasing the hell outta you and giving you the cold shoulder sometimes (you did too).

Maybe, just maybe, yeosang felt the same- enjoying all the time you both spent together, even though it wasn't much. Why would he even tease you in the first place if he didn't? You remember, something your mum used to say during your childhood: the people who tease you, and pretend to hate you, actually like you, because they want your attention.

Oh, how badly you wanted to believe your mom's words.

"Are you getting inside the lift or...?" Yeosang said, pressing a button to widen the lift doors as they were just about to close. You snapped out of your overthinking, your overthinking about the fact that every single word you say or the action that you do- affects yeosang- kang yeosang in some way.

"Oh, shoot. Sorry." You said sheepishly, getting alongside Yeosang in the lift.

As you both reached the main hall, you were greeted by your school's vice principal and your homeroom teacher, almost as if waiting for the both of you to arrive. As you and yeosang bowed down to greet them, they exchanged quick glances with each other, and then led the both of you near the tables at the far away corner of the hall.

The vice principal sat down in one of the chairs, and your homeroom teacher stood alongside the both of you.

"So. I know this might seem surprising because we called the both of you together, but trust me, this isn't anything serious or negative. So stop with those nervous glances because you both are the best disciplined students of our grade, and you know it." Your homeroom teacher, Mr. Jung, assured the both of you, as relief spread through your veins. You could even feel yeosang sighing in relief besides you.

"Mr. Jung, why were the both of us called here, then...?" You asked, your tone inquisitive.

"I'll let you know the reason, students." Said your vice principal, Mrs. Park. All three of you shifted your attention and gazes towards her as she started speaking.

"As you both are already aware, our school has decided to redesign the uniforms for the entire school, ranging from all grades. And well, we got to have our first glance at the finalized, redesigned uniforms last week, and they look amazing. We decided to choose you, y/n, and yeosang, as the models for our new school uniform photoshoot. Basically, you both have to wear and promote the redesigned uniforms and pose together for a little shoot. That's it."

Your hands immediately cupped your mouth, and your eyes widened not believing that you were chosen as a MODEL for your school. ALONG with your rival.

Yeosang let out a soft chuckle, and you realised that he was laughing at your shocked expression.

"May I know why you chose the both of us as models....and not someone else?" Yeosang inquired, now appearing quite bewildered at the situation of being chosen as a model himself.

The both of us. Not just him. He really asked why they chose the both of you as models.

"Ah, well, I won't say that the fact that both of you are the top students not only on academics but also as general role model students didn't tempt me to choose the both of you, but what can I say... you both have extremely good looks. And good body proportions. That's why I thought that the the both of you were the most ideal students for the shoot." Mrs. Park said, a small, appreciative smile on her face.

You blushed immediately at her words. The fact that the VICE PRINCIPAL just admitted that you have extremely good looks and good body proportions... you felt like you were on cloud nine.

"Thank you, ma'am" The both of you said, yes, you actually said "thank you" at the same time with yeosang.

"The pleasure's all mine." She said.

"Well then, the shoot was actually going to take place tomorrow but the photographer checked in with us, and said that today was a ideal day to get the shoot done, as long the models are ready. What do you both think? We'll provide you with the new school uniforms so you can get changed into them and get some light makeup done." Mr. Jung said, quite enthusiastically. Your teacher, your teacher who is probably 35 years older than you, acted quite cute sometimes.

TODAY. PHOTOSHOOT. YEOSANG. WHAT??

As you tried to register the fact that the photoshoot was taking place TODAY, and the fact that you were chosen as a model with yeosang.....

"Also, don't worry about missing the lectures. Like, at all. We'll let all the teachers know that the both of you are occupied with this schedule today." Mr. Jung added, catching the slight expression of worry on your faces.

"Oh, okay. T-thats great. Thank you, Mr. Jung. I think I'm ready to get the shoot done today." You replied, mustering up all your courage. You weren't going to let this opportunity go to waste. Why would you, even? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Hell, you couldn't even believe that there would be a photoshoot of you and yeosang together. Just the both of you. You felt like you were dreaming, for real.

After your response, yeosang also assured the both of them, saying that he was also ready for the shoot taking place today.

well, of course you are ready, kang yeosang. you wouldn't imagine any other response from him, like him saying no for the photoshoot with you. You had some pride of your own, and you'd protect it...

.

You stepped into the small makeup room backstage of the main hall, immediately walking towards the giant body mirror to check yourself and your new school uniform out. Damn, the new uniform sure did look better than the current uniform that you were wearing. It seemed like a levelled-up version of your school uniform; it consisted of a tailored navy blazer with gold patterns along the edges, adding an overall touch of elegance. Beneath the blazer, you wore a neat, ironed white collared shirt, and a navy blue skirt tucked the shirt perfectly. A notable feature was the gold emblem of your school icon, printed at the edge of your skirt and on the socks you were wearing. Your shiny black boots added a classic touch to your outfit. You looked quite sophisticated and youthful, the exact concept you were going for the photoshoot.

As you sat down on one of the chairs in front of a mirror, a lady, already waiting for your arrival in the room, asked you about which hairstyle you would like to get done. You requested her to do something neat yet mildly fancy, keeping your hair open. As she was working on your hair, the door opened wider, and Yeosang stepped in, looking..... even better than usual. Just when you thought this guy couldn't look any more attractive than he already is.....

You noticed that he was wearing a navy blue blazer just like yours, his crisp, white ironed shirt pleated and tucked in his perfectly ironed trousers. And of course, his hair was styled just right. like always. You hated to admit it but he looked more handsome than usual...

You noticed every single detail of his appearance in less than a few seconds. Hell, who would want their rival to know that they're checking them out?

After checking himself out in the mirror, his hand never left the pocket of his trousers, even as he sat down on a chair alongside yours. Arrogant as always, you thought. But he immediately removed that hand as another lady entered the room, asking Yeosang about his hairstyle. He looked so polite while explaining to her what exactly he wanted, you thought that he just wanted to piss you off half of the time. And then go back to his gentlemanly appearance when you both weren't alone. what a guy.

You were a little too bothered about the fact that yeosang was seated right besides you. and the fact that you were pretty close to each other. AND the fact that you both could see each other in the side mirror in front of you.

And guess what? You did. Just as you looked up in the mirror to check the progress of your hairstyle, you noticed that Yeosang was also checking himself out. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and you could have sworn he smirked a little as he checked you out for a second. You immediately looked away, but you could feel it in your bones, the fact that Yeosang didn't look away like you did. His gaze was burning, burning holes into your skin. You felt exposed in some manner. God, he was literally just staring at you and that made you loose your absolute shit.

Very soon, you both were done with your final look for the photoshoot. You were thankful that it didn't take any longer, or else you were just a shot away from calling in sick for the photoshoot. Yeosang staring at you was to be blamed for that.

As you both entered the room designated for your school uniform photoshoot, you stepped aside for a minute to call your mom and let her know about this precious opportunity. You were quite surprised when she said that she already knew that you were chosen for the photoshoot... even before than you came to know about it. She asked you to do well and pose some pretty poses with yeosang, and murmured a soft "hwaiting" as you thanked her and ended the call.

As you stepped into the middle of the room, where you were supposed to be seated alongside yeosang on the giant sofa and standing alongside him for the other. The photographer greeted the both of you and instructed a few poses. You carefully listened to his recommendations, and so did yeosang; adjusting his posture. This moment suddenly felt surreal to you. You tilted your head slightly and glanced at yeosang, and you would have never believed before if someone told you that you were gonna do a photoshoot together.

But here you were, the bright ceiling lights flashing over you, your beloved rival standing right beside you. You snapped out of your thoughts and gasped internally when yeosang shifted closer towards you. Well, it's not like he did that by his own will. The photographer insisted you shift closer to him, too, and you awkwardly did, and now your shoulders were brushing together. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and you couldn't deny the effect it had on you. You glanced up at him for a second and realised how you were almost the same height as him. So, if he were to hug you from behind, his head would be touching yours. WHAT??? CHOI Y/N, SNAP OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW.

He stared right back at you, and it felt like the world around you had disappeared.... just the both of you in your own little bubble, exchanges of gazes filled with tension and lust and whatnot. As rivals, of course, you were competing in this aspect too- competing of who was going to look away first, because neither of you was backing down from this. The photographer let out a whistle and the both of you broke your eye contact, your gazes now directly at the camera. You could feel his flushed face besides yours...

The photoshoot progressed smoothly, and the photographer was quite pleased with the results. For the very last pose as the photo shoot came to an end, the photographer insisted that you place your elbow against Yeosang's shoulder, adding that it would make you look powerful. You hesitated for a second as you turned your head to look at Yeosang, staring at that gorgeous Adam's apple down his throat. Fuck, was he actually feeling nervous? Just like you? The arrogant, teasing, playful, confident Kang Yeosang that you knew, felt nervous around you for the first time....

You quickly placed your elbow against yeosang's shoulder, as he leaned down a little to support your movement, and you felt your heart beat impeccably faster. Then, both of you fixated your fierce and confident gazes towards the camera, as the bright flash passed your eyes and all the people present in the room started applauding, praising the both of you. That was when you realised, how you and Yeosang were the pride of your school, how you were chosen for this photoshoot together. How the entire school regarded you as the "power duo" or the "power couple", and how that never failed to get you blushing uncontrollably. You wondered how Yeosang felt about that, about al this. Did it affect him just as much as it did to you?

You caught your breath that seemed to be stuck in your throat, as you shifted away from Yeosang, a little breathless. It wasn't like you both had kissed, goddammit, that it has to affect every cell in your body when he was even an inch close to you.

You cracked your knuckles, meeting Yeosang's eyes yet again, as he passed you a small smile. Of course, the smile had to be replaced by a smirk in less than a second because he was with you, after all. He walked closer to you, extending his hand towards you.

"Good job today, rival. I hate to admit it, but i guess we both had quite the.... chemistry, during the photo shoot. Which is UNEXPECTED, since it's the both of us. But yeah, all this today was....nice. Hope we can tolerate each other just like this in the future."

You huffed, passing him the same smile he had flashed you earlier, and gently shook his hand. electricity. you felt yourself shiver internally as your hand touched his. You wanted to pull back but just for an extra second, you felt Yeosang not letting go. As he pulled back, though- your palm still lingered with his touch.

"Good job to you too, rival. I can't believe that we just spent almost an hour together, without not insulting or teasing each other. I guess, we got along well today, too." You teased. Yeosang let out a sarcastic laugh, as the both of you parted ways, an eventful day coming to an..end.

Your photoshoot today with Yeosang sure as hell was going to be imprinted in your mind, your body, and your soul. The atmosphere filled with tension, the never-ending shared glances towards each other filled with lust and dare you say, desire, marked a new chapter into whatever your relationship was. The universe was almost begging the both of you to acknowledge the attraction both of you had towards each other.

Every day, Song Jia always had to be the one pushing your buttons. That girl, your best friend, ALWAYS had to make you more delusional than you already were. Half of the time, even though you knew you where physically attracted to yeosang (even you couldn't deny that) you felt like Jia helped you bring your fantasies come to life. For instance , she always left you alone whenever she saw yeosang making his way towards you- either for teasing you or insulting you, something like that. Your jaw almost fell open when you saw that girl run at the speed of light after passing you a smirk, telling you to go "shoot your shot"

And you didn't know if you wanted to thank her and hug her for that or kick her ass for that....

Like always, she had her arm linked around yours, the both of you staring at the photoshoot pictures with yeosang, that your homeroom teacher mailed you. You both were making your way to the music room, and that girl just would'nt stop hitting your arm with their other hand, grinning cheekily after literally gluing her eyes to your phone screen, observing every little detail.

"Damn y/n, this has the be the biggest shot you've ever shooted in your life.. You get what I mean, right? Can you even imagine that you'd have official photoshoots, with your dear rival that you're secretly head over heels for?!" She said, smirking a little.

"C'mon now, don't put it like that. I'm not head over heels for him. Just a little.... attracted, to him, I guess. Still not a fan of that arrogant ass of his, though." You huffed.

And she practically SQUEALED, no exaggeration, after seeing the very last photoshoot picture, your elbow resting on yeosang's shoulder, your gazes looking quite fierceful and confident towards the camera. You couldn't help but blush, smiling at how perfect that picture was.

"Attagirl!!! That's my y/n. Look at how you both are literally the POWER COUPLE of the school. Start dating already, you know." She said, and slapped her arm lightly, as she let out a fake "owww"

You were walking on the large staircase leading you to the fourth floor, where the music room was. You slipped your phone inside your skirt pocket, your arm still linked with Jia's.

As you were walking further downstairs, you spotted a familiar head ahead you. You could recognise that guy anywhere, no matter what angle of his was facing you.

Kang yeosang, holding up his phone, quite concentrated on whatever he was seeing on his phone screen, while making his way downstairs as well.

Suddenly, a red haired girl bumped into yeosang from behind. Quite a painful bump, you thought, but then you noticed that she was about to have an awful fall down the stairs if she didn't pull herself together.

Ofcourse, she didn't fall. Not really. How would she, when a gentleman in the form of yeosang, was there?

It was as if yeosang's reflexes clicked in, he immediately wrapped his strong arms around that redhead's back, steadying her and preventing her from falling. He didn't let go, his arms still on her shoulder as that girl turned behind to look at him, an apologetic and embarrassed look on her face.

And obviously, concern and worry had to be spread on your rivals face, as he seemed to be inquiring her if she was alright, his voice as polite and calm and sweet, a voice you would have never expected him to pull off if he was talking to you. And his arms were still on her shoulder. You glared at that arm so strongly, it was as if holes would have burned on his skin.

They seemed to be chatting for a good few minutes, passing smiles and chatting with each other. All this time, you seemed to be froze in your place, right while standing halfway through the stairs. And Jia, ofcourse, was still with you, glancing at you and biting her lips, passing you and apologetic look, knowing how witnessing this made you feel.

An obvious pang of jealousy coursed through your veins, as you witnessed the scene unfold after you. You glared at the both of them, not just yeosang, with such intensity, if someone would have looked at you, they would've thought you were gonna pick up a fight for sure.

What even was this feeling? Jealousy? Seriously, you never felt jealous of or for anyone in your life before....and you were obviously feeling jealous..for whom? Yeosang? Your rival? You narrowed your eyes down towards the floor and sighed, pulling Jia along with you, as you marched towards the music room.

During the entire music lecture, you couldn't concentrate on anything going on in the class. It was as if you were sorting your feelings out, and waves of embarrassment and confusion washed over you. You were a foolish, stupid girl. Say, what right did you even have, to feel jealous ? You weren't even dating yeosang or anything, hell, you were his sworn rival. Who feels this way towards their rival? No one. Only you.

To make things even worse, you were out here, imagining what it would be like if you were in that redheads place. What it would be like if it was you who was almost about to fall, and how your heart would've belated out of your chest, goosebumps forming on your skin when yeosang would have wrapped those strong arms around you, asking if you were okay in that sweet, polite voice.

Maybe, you wanted yeosang to treat you that way too. By no means, were you his close friend or anything, but sometimes you wished that he treated you that gently, too.

You wondered how it would be like to get THE kang yeosang worrying about you and giving you all his attention, passing you soft and gentle smiles of reassurance.

And yet, you knew this was never going to happen. Snap out of your thoughts, stupid girl.

The music lecture continued and ended in no time, as the bittersweet realization about your true feelings about yeosang washed over you, and how utterly foolish you were to fall so hard, so deep for your rival, out of all people.

You remember the first time you found Kang Yeosang attractive. The first time you realised that you, y/n, found your sworn academic rival physically attractive. And also the first time you realised how utterly stupid you were, how you were going to regret all this because yeosang, on the other hand, probably didn't even give a shit about you except for the times he liked to push your buttons and piss you off.

It was during the inter-school debate competition that took place a few months ago. You and Yeosang had been chosen as partners, as a duo, as your school's representatives for the battle. That was actually the first time and the longest time you two had been together, in each other's company. You were not really panicking about being in yeosang's company at that time, because back then you weren't actually attracted to him like you were, in the present. More than anything, you were a little pissed, a little bothered, and quite nervous about having your rival as your partner. You knew you would have to get along with him during the competition and that if you exposed your stupidity for even a second or messed things up, Yeosang would sure as hell tease you and blame everything negative on you.

So, the trickiest part about the competition was that it was an on-the-spot debate battle. This meant that you could try and prepare all you wanted with your partner, but it wouldn't really be of any good because the topics were to be chosen on the spot, and you were supposed to give the fiercest debate against your opponent on the spot along with your partner. But you weren't really worrying about this much. Because both you and yeosang were the most stubborn people to exist on earth, with words so sharp and powerful, just like that of an accomplished lawyer. Once you both even opened your mouth to refute, your opponent would beg the judges to put an end to the debate and announce you both as the winners. And that's what had actually happened, but not exactly:

The debate had been going pretty well, you and yeosang actually tolerated each other for once and in fact, were working very well together. Every time you added a new point to the topic, Yeosang supported it with additions of his own and acted as your back support. You did the same for him, of course. Your opponents were flustered with how good both of you were and how powerful your arguments were, they almost gave up and you both could sense it, by the way their arguments became so weak at the end. Just when the both of you were going to win the final debate (you had already won the semi-finals with flying colors), something infuriating had to happen, that acted as a barrier to you both winning the final match.

The atmosphere shifted perceptibly as the principal of the opposing school was seen having a hushed, yet visibly intense, conversation with one of the judges. The judge's responses and reactions to you and yeosang appeared unusually reserved, suddenly cheering for the opposing team when they hadn't before, all this time. You and yeosang, of course, noticed this change and were equally confused.

As the final rebuttal concluded, you glanced at yeosang seated beside you, studying every feature and expression on his face at that moment: his jaw was clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he practically glared every time the principal of the opposing team spoke with the judges. His eyes, which usually appeared all lively and soft and polite, were now narrowed into slits of sheer anger. His nostrils flared slightly and his lips narrowed into a thin line, both his hands turned into fists, supporting his chin as they rested on the table. As you caught this rare, unguarded display of emotion from your rival, an unexpected surge of attraction bubbled within you. This had to be the worst time possible for you to be feeling physically attracted to your rival, and of course, you were also very pissed off at the ongoing situation.

You just couldn't help but find him hot, during that time. You had never even batted an eye against yeosang before and here you were, deeply simping for the guy beside you. You wondered, how turned on you would be, if it was you that did something to piss yeosang off, and if he pinned you against the wall and kissed yo-

You could slap yourself in your face for such thoughts. The judges finally announced the results, favouring the opposing team and the audience suddenly felt pity for your team, passing murmurs in disbelief. Yeosang's face stiffened, as he turned to face you, his anger clearly visible. Throughout the debate, he had subtly steered the tougher questions towards himself, (even when he didn't need to) shielding you from the more aggressive tactics of your opponents. You felt your heart flutter at such moments, admiring and feeling gratitude towards yeosang despite him being your rival in reality.

You passed him a soft smile of reassurance, despite you feeling defeated and equally pissed inside.

"We know that we were the better team today, Yeosang. I know we should have won the finals. Well, nothing much we can do now, is it?" You said, your small smile turning into that of a self pity smile.

"I know. I-Its just not fair, y/n. I feel more angered rather than defeated right now- i don't want to give up, even if the results are announced." Yeosang replied, his expression returning to normal after chatting with you.

"I don't want to give up too, you know. If we decide to speak up right now, would anyone even believe us? And what if the judges actually found Sarah and Kyungsoo's debate better than ours? We can't be sure about that." You said, sighing deeply. Yeosang sighed along with you, looking as if the storm within him hadn't resolved.

Yet, he chose to do whatever you were willing to do: which was, just accepting the results. You both had won second place anyway, and you were satisfied with that. You both didn't really talk about the debate competition after that day. But you both had let each other know, that day, that you were proud of yourselves and each other for doing your best in that debate.

Something changed that day, about your relationship, your dynamics with Yeosang. It was after that day you noticed yeosang showing his true colors to you, the way he clearly loosened up when he was with you, the way he playfully teased and insulted you, it was something he didn't do before. You like to think of that period as the one where you started getting closer to him, something beyond your mere rivals or enemies dynamic.

The library was bathed with soft glow of the moonlight, air heavy with the scent of old books. Just as you tossed the keys from the drawer of the main table and put it in your pocket, you remembered that you weren't the only one present in the library at this time.

Instead of heading for the main door to leave, you chose to head inside and obviously, caught sight of a man slumped up on the table, his hands folded, supporting his head as he slept or atleast, pretended to sleep.

It was none other than your rival, Yeosang. You've been noticing this since the past few days. Yeosang would stay late, at hours after 8 pm, into the library and just would'nt go home. Even today, you turned around and glanced at the huge clock and checked the time even on your smartwatch. 8.05 pm.

That was your cue to leave, after seeing the time and when the clock striked 8.00 pm because it was too late to stay outside home. And yeosang should also be heading home and do whatever he wanted to do at his home instead of the library. You were appointed as the co-manager of the library and had to lock the gates up as you left. You had figured that the librarian had possibly given yeosang and extra key to lock up and leave, since otherwise you were the only one who had access to the keys.

You were about to leave, but you weren't going to ignore this today. You approached yeosang cautiously.

"Yeosang." You called out, your voice firm.

He didn't wake up to acknowledge you. You called out again, this time mentioning his full name.

"Kang Yeosang." You said, your voice now louder and firmer.

Yeosang looked up at you now, exhaustion etched into his features. You could tell that he wasn't really sleeping but well, wanted to sleep.

"What?" He asked, maintaining eye contact with you, looking at you as if you had disturbed his precious quality sleep.

"What are you still doing here? It's pretty late. Head home or something, dude." You said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"None of your business, y/n. I'll go when I want to." He deadpanned, his posture still a little bent as if he was going back to sleep on the desk yet again and waiting for you to leave.

"It is my business, actually. Look- I'm not trying to sound worried or something, but I've noticed since the past 3 days you're staying at such ungodly hours at the library and won't head home, when you're supposed to. If you didn't already know, I'm the co-manager of this library and have to lock the gates up. And for that, I need you to leave." You said, folding your arms, waiting for his next rebuttal.

"Don't worry about all that. I- the librarian gave me an extra set of keys so I'll lock the gates and everything carefully before I leave. You're free to go home." He said, his expression quite flustered now, upon hearing that you've been noticing his peculiar behaviour since the past few days.

"And what excuse did you give to the librarian? I bet she questioned you for asking for those extra set of keys." You inquired, leaning against one of the book shelves now, still maintaing eye contact with yeosang across the room.

"Uhh, I just told her that there's some...distraction at my house. Like, a really loud atmosphere that's not ideal for me to study." He said, despite knowing that you weren't buying this shit and straightened his position, sitting properly on his chair.

"Seriously, Yeosang? Do you mind telling me why are you even staying so late here? Did you parents disown you or kick you out, something?" You asked, letting out a laugh in disbelief.

"....which i suspect isn't true, because of course, you're the star of your family, your parents only child that can do no wrong and is their only pride." You continued, after noticing that Yeosang didn't reply just yet.

He let out a deep sigh, breaking eye contact with you. "Listen, why do you even care? Are you up for listening to my pity party story?" Yeosang said, staring outside the window.

"Why do I care? I don't know, I just thought we were atleast friends now? And ofcourse, I'm up for listening to you, I'm kinda bored anyways." You replied, still staring at him.

Just before yeosang could open his mouth to say something, you dashed to where he was, and pulled up a chair right besides him and sat there. It wasn't too close to him, but just close enough to listen properly to him, indicating that you genuinely wanted to hear him out.

"Well, I don't know where to start." He said, facing you. You stared right into those deep brown eyes, almost like pools of warm melted chocolate, glistening under the faint moonlight coming from the windows. Of course, his long, dark lashes above those mesmerizing orbs were even prettier, drawing you impossibly closer to him. Every time he opened his mouth to spoke, you noticed every feature of his face and were astonished every time: his well defined jawline, those high cheekbones, straight nose, those sharp collarbones revealed just slightly from his plain white shirt, and that perfectly symmetrical face.

It was unfair to be this freaking handsome, you thought. Yeosang would be flourishing if he decided to be a model. What was even lacking in this guy? Perfect body proportions, perfect face, perfect personality, perfect grades, and that smart sexy brain of his. And this perfect guy aka your rival was talking with you right now. Insane, you thought.

"Just, start anywhere. I'm willing to listen, you know." You assured him.

"For the main idea, it's my parents. Just some major issues with them." He said, sighing once again.

"What kind of issues?" You asked, your eyes now softening. It felt like he was opening to you and you wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible.

"They just, you know, want and expect and force me to become a doctor. Follow their footsteps. And it's clearly not what I want." Yeosang said, sounding frustrated.

You understood how frustrating this must be. By the next year, you both being the name age, were supposed to choose your majors and study accordingly to pursue your degree. And ofcourse this decision is crucial because it will determine you career. And if yeosang is having issues regarding this with his parents... it's pretty serious.

"They clearly know that's not what I want and still choose to push my buttons. I want to be a mathematician. My undying love for maths, just, even you know it, don't you, y/n?" He continued, locking his eyes with yours.

"Ah, definitely. I know better than anyone how much you love Math. And all this time, while i was curious as to which career you would choose, i definitely thought it's something related to maths. It had to be." You said , passing him a small smile. He reciprocated your smile after hearing your words.

You continued to listen intently to Yeosang as he poured out his frustration in your conversation. You tried your best to relate with him and comfort him. There won't be any other chance where I'll get to listen to yeosang's concerns and comfort him, you thought, so I better make the most out of this.

"So, what now? I understand that you're still having disagreements with them on this topic, but I'm sure they're very worried about you staying so late outside, you know. You should head home earlier from today, and, i don't know, talk to them. Properly this time. You can't keep running away." You replied, hesitating to do what you were about to do next, but you did it anyways. You placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would comfort him. You felt like you had the right to do atleast that much, after how yeosang ranted about his family conflict to you and how you patiently listened to him.

You could feel yeosang stiffening a little under your touch for just a second, before he relaxed and held onto the same hand that was on his shoulder with his, rubbing soft circles on your hand.

You felt like your heart was about to burst, right now. Every cell of your body had to be so immensely affected whenever Kang Yeosang did something as subtle as holding your hand and rubbing circles on it.

"Thank you for today, y/n. Seriously. It felt so.... different from our usual encounters. You know, were either teasing or insulting each other half of the time. This was...great. I guess we can consider each other as frenemies now? We're still rivals though, mind you." He said, chuckling lightly. You felt your heart melt at that chuckle. This, is exactly what you wanted from him. You wanted him to soften up a little when he was with you.

You lightly let go of his hand still holding yours, or else you were sure you were going to melt right then and there. You passed him a small smile and were about to say something, but Yeosang interrupted you.

"Ah, and also, do you know that Wooyoung and Jia are apparently dating now?" He said, looking at you.

You suddenly froze at his words. WHAT THE HELL????

"WHAT??? I mean, how, when? I knew Jia had a crush on Wooyoung since like forever and she told me all about it. I had NO IDEA that they were dating, though. And she DIDN'T TELL ME. Since when are they dating?" You asked, looking quite pissed. You couldn't believe that you were hearing about your best friend dating for the first time from your rival instead of her.

"Uhm, like since a week, maybe? Why do you sound so surprised tho? I thought you already knew, didn't Jia tell you?" Yeosang said, trying to hold back his laughter at your pissed face.

"No, she didn't. I am going to end her for that. And let me guess, Wooyoung already told you?" You asked. Wooyoung was Yeosang's best friend. They were always seen together and were really close.

"Yeah, he did. Pretty ironic, isn't it? Both our best friends are dating each other." Yeosang said, finding this situation pretty amusing. You did, too, to be honest.

"I know, right. The next time we all hang out together, we're gonna be third wheeling the both of them and that's gonna suck big time." You replied, sighing, but feeling happy for your best friend at the same time.

"No kidding. I'm gonna smack wooyoung in the face if they do anything cringe in front of me." He said, and the both of you laughed together.

"Anyways. Get home before 9 atleast, will you? I'm heading home now, it's pretty late." You announced, getting a hold of your bag in the chair alongside you.

"I will. And sorry for stalling you for so long. Are you sure you'll be home safe? I can drop you home, if you'd like." Yeosang said, concern etched in his voice.

"No, it's fine. I live near the block anyways. And I have a feeling you want to sort some things out. I'll be going then, bye." You said , passing him a small wave. He waved back, watching you leave.

.

It was so immensely surprising, even to yourself, when you think about all your interactions with yeosang nowadays. He's supposed to be your rival, which of course he still is, but it doesn't seem much like it nowadays. It's almost like you two are friends, seriously. And the thought scares you. It kinda scares you that you two are becoming friends now. You're afraid that all the times he's bothered you, teased you, playfully insulted you, would soon come to an end....it probably won't, right? And you don't want yeosang to treat you how he treats others: so soft, so polite, so calm, so well mannered, just, so perfect. Except for wooyoung, ofcourse: he's almost always kicking him and what not. You didn't like to admit this, but you liked with how your dynamics as supposed "rivals" was like.

You would never give up on the look on his face, when you flashed your paper wherein you got even a mark higher than him on a test. Or the times he'd insult your studying skills. Or the times when you would bother each other for every little thing. It was like, you had no one else to share such a relationship with, and although you would have to face your feelings very soon and admit that you like your rival in a romantic way, you still don't want your unique and playful banters to end.

Just as you were about to turn your phone off and go to sleep, a notification at the top of your screen bar distracted you. And it's from Jia, of course.

Before you could even confront Jia about her dating wooyoung, she herself texted you that day itself (when yeosang told you about the news at the library) and even video called you for the same, your ears almost tearing up with her excited squeals and screams every time she talked about wooyoung. But you were happy for her. Immensely happy for your best friend. You hoped wooyoung would keep her happy and that their relationship lasts long. At the same time, you kept dreaming about how wonderful it would be like, if you got into a relationship.

But you knew you weren't getting into a relationship any soon. You didn't even have a crush on anyone at the present.....oh wait, that's a lie.

How were you even supposed to date someone, when the beloved kang yeosang existed? How were you supposed to push your romantic feelings for your rival, or even get over your crush on him in the mere future, and date someone else?

At this point, you just wished you could date him. No. Wait, what?

You sighed and clicked on the notification of Jia's messages and opened her chat.

Jia😈🤍

Yo, are you free tomorrow? Since it's the weekend, anyways

You

Mhm, yes, i think. Why do u ask tho? Shouldn't u be spending the weekends with your precious boyfriend, now that u have one 💀

Jia😈🤍

C'mon, don't be salty now, y/n. You know I can never forget about you even if I have a bf now. So, I was thinking, you wanna go on a movie date w me tomorrow? Woo will be there too, ofc ;)

You

And be third-wheeling the entire time w the both of u? No way in hell, Jia. U go spend your romantic movie date with wooyoung alone, i won't be mad, promise

Jia😈🤍

I knew you would say that. So well listen up, here's the deal. Yeosang will be joining us too tomorrow;))

You froze for a second and your phone almost dropped from your hands onto your face.

You

What the hell??!! Are you being srs?? Why would u even invite yeosang tho-

Jia😈🤍

You have absolutely no idea how much convincing it took wooyoung to get yeosang come along with him tomorrow. So you better say yes too, y/n. Your lover boy slash rival will be there too, tomorrow's gonna be loads of funnnnn

You almost wished to kick her across the screen for mentioning yeosang as your "lover boy."

You

Okay, but uh, does yeosang know that I'm coming too, tomorrow? I don't think he would have said yes if he knew I'm coming....

Jia😈🤍

He does. He knows ur coming and still agreed to the date. Wooyoung will do anything for me, even as far as convincing THE yeosang to agree to come to a hang out session w his rival. You know, part of me thinks that he willingly wants to be near you, bc why else would he say yes?

You took in a deep breath and processed all this.

You

I'm.....not too sure abt that. What time tomorrow and which cinema?

Jia 😈🤍

I see someone's excited, huh. I'll text you all the details tomorrow. For now, just sleep, and dream about your rival lover boy, nighttttt y/nnieeee

You

Gosh, shut up, Jia. And goodnight to you too, dream about wooyoung, loser

You put your phone on your bedside table and blankly stared at the ceiling, not believing that you were about to go on a movie date with yeosang, tomorrow.

Song Jia had to be the craziest person you've ever known. You couldn't believe that she went as far as successfully inviting Yeosang to the movie date tomorrow, yeosang knowing that you, his arch nemesis would be there. You knew Jia purposefully invited him so that something could possibly "change" into your relationship, perhaps either one of you making a move to confess, or something like that.

But you knew that wasn't true. Yeosang clearly wasn't interested in you in THAT way and you had to try your best to get over him. Tomorrow was going to be a very normal movie date with your friends.....and rival, now tour frenemy, which you would try to tolerate as much as you could.

You closed your eyes and finally slept, quite excited for what tomorrow was about to bring.

You stood in front of your open closet, your expression thoughtful as you scanned the rows of outfits hanging neatly inside. As the thought of yeosang being there at the movie date later struck you, you suddenly felt self-conscious. You were a confident person but all that confidence sometimes melted away in front of your rival. You wanted to look just right today, in front of him, maybe even impress him with your outfit today. While considering all these factors, you decided to drop your usual jeans-and-tee combo and instead, picked up a soft, pastel pink dress: with floral patterns at the edges, that seemed to hug your curves perfectly, A dark blue denim jacket would compliment this perfectly, you thought, as you picked up the jacket too, and closed your closet.

As you were adding some final touches to your light and subtle makeup, which would be ideal for a movie date- you picked up your favourite gold hoop earrings from a nearby drawer and wore them, checking yourself out in the mirror with your entire outfit, including your white canvas sneakers. You felt confident and beautiful, and hey, a girlish look doesn't look bad sometimes. Your outfit today bought out the feminism in you, and you hoped Yeosang's eyes wouldn't leave you or your outfit today.

Unusual excitement bubbled up inside you as you closed the door of your room, hiring a taxi from an app on your phone. The taxi arrived in no time and there you were, stepping inside the grand cinemas, right on time.

You texted Jia to let her know that you were already here. Jia would be arriving alone, just like you, whereas Wooyoung and Yeosang would be arriving together since they shared a cab.

You unconsciously tapped your foot as you scanned the cinema's ambience around you, focusing on the movie posters, You had no idea which movie you were about to watch but knowing Jia, she would have definitely picked a rom-com movie since she's a die-hard romance fanatic, after all.

After a few minutes, Jia joined you, looking just as bubbly and excited as always. As the both of you chatted away, Jia complimented your outfit and makeup and you complimented hers too. You tilted your head and noticed two guys making their way towards the both of you in the bustling lobby. There they were, Yeosang and Wooyoung, looking just high-class as always. There was something about these two whenever they were together- they carried an air of confidence and power between them and were undoubtedly the most attractive and handsome men in the entire room.

You glanced briefly at yeosang, your jaw almost dropping as you scanned his outfit from head to toe: a black leather jacket that complimented his broad shoulders, a fitted white t-shirt that highlighted his toned physique, the fabric stretching just enough to hint the muscles beneath. And of course, his dark blue jeans complimented his long legs perfectly well, his black converse shoes adding an edgy, cool and expensive look. As he walked towards you, his hair was slightly tousled, his perfect lips drawn together as he smiled at something wooyoung said. Wooyoung was looking just as good as yeosang, but frankly, at the moment, you could NOT focus on anyone other than yeosang. He stole your breath and got your heart beating unbelievably fast every second he walked closer to you.

This was only the second time you ever saw Yeosang in casual clothes, you thought. Everyday you'd see him in the typical school uniform, but he just looked....so different in such a casual look. His outfit today radiated such a strong bad boy look it was insane. Who would have thought that the softest, politest Kang Yeosang liked wearing such daring clothes like a leather jacket, outside the school premises?

The moment these two stood in font of the both of you, Jia ran towards Wooyoung and engulfed him in a soul-crushing hug. You awkwardly stood there, trying your best to not stare at Yeosang, or at least, let him know that you were staring at him. But needless to say, he was already staring at you, scanning your outfit from head to toe just like you had for him, and you could swear you saw him smirking a little. You could feel every inch of your skin burning, burning holes into your skin, the parts where yeosang stared at you.

You finally made eye contact with him, because after all, you HAD to acknowledge him. He gave you a small smile, that wasn't a smirk for once, and you reciprocated the same. Then you both stared at the lovey-dovey couple beside you together, as wooyoung finally pulled back from Jia. You smiled at the sight of both of them, together, like the perfect couple. Wooyoung greeted you and began small talk with you, and all this time, Yeosang's gaze was deeply fixated on you, noticing every little change in your expression, and you didn't dare to look away from wooyoung while talking to him.

Since there was still almost half an hour left for the movie to start, Wooyoung and Jia announced that they were going around the cinema to take pictures together, and Yeosang shrugged, while you agreed, asking them to come back soon. Jia requested you to buy popcorn and a few cold drinks for all four of you, before she went, and passed you a small wink, and a knowing smile, and OF COURSE, she did, because you and yeosang were going to be alone together for the next few minutes. great.

"Uhm, so, Jia asked me to buy popcorn and cold drinks for all of us. Mind accompanying me?" You asked Yeosang, breaking the ice between the both of you just as you were alone.

"Mm, sure, lead the way." Yeosang replied, as casually as possible. You lead the way to the snacks counter as he walked beside you. Soon, you both were scanning the cafeteria menu, looking at the popcorn flavor options.

"Since it's the four of us, i think two or three popcorns would be enough, right?" You asked, squinting your eyes to read the price.

"Right. And i guess four cold drinks each for us, but which brand does everyone prefer?" He asked which cold drink brands were available, to the cashier, and since the both of you know your best friend's preferences, you ordered for the both of them, too.

After you both completed placing the orders, it was time for payment, and you shamelessly asked Yeosang to pay since you weren't really carrying much cash with you at the moment.

'Why me though? You can pay too, you know." He said just as shamelessly as you. While other people normally argued that they would be the ones paying, here the both of you were taunting each other to pay.

You continued to argue for two more minutes when yeosang finally gave in and offered to pay, That annoyed you a little and it felt like he won the fight somehow.

"Why agree to pay now, though? I'm embarrassed now, i want to pay." You childishly argued.

"I can't believe you sometimes, y/n. You were literally asking me to pay earlier, and now that i'm paying, you've got a problem again?" Yeosang huffed, looking a little pissed.

The cashier sensed that both of you were going to childishly argue with each other once again and interrupted your conversation.

"Sir, ma'am, sorry to interrupt, but we've got other customers in line too, you know. How about you split up the payment.....?" She offered and the both of you considered it, feeling foolish to not have thought about splitting up earlier.

"Ah, well. Since the total is around 12$ anyways, we can split up 6$ each." You said, and yeosang finally agreed with you, and just as the both of you were finishing up the payment, someone screamed right behind you in your ear which caused you to have a jumpscare and you flinched horribly, letting out a small scream. Jia and Wooyoung laughed like maniacs upon your reaction, and now Yeosang also looked at you in amazement and laughed as if you were a total sight right now. Your cheeks flushed furiously as you slapped Jia on the arm.

"Sorry, sorry. Let me and Wooyoung help you carry the popcorn. You both can carry the drinks. Our screen is the 5th one." Jia said, gathering the popcorn and handing some to Wooyoung. All four of you quietly made your way to the cinema hall, sitting at your booked seats.

And of course, your seat was just beside yeosang's. Jia sat on your right and yeosang on your left, whereas wooyoung sat beside Jia and a stranger. You almost held your breath as you settled in your seat, but immediately relaxed because of the comfortable and soft incliner cushion seat. Alas, you couldn't relax completely no matter how much you tried and nervousness bubbled up inside you, cuz you were seated right beside your rival slash crush slash the person whom you were so utterly attracted to, physically, and you almost started sweating because of him being in your presence. But you held all these stupid feelings in and focused on the large theatre screen for gods sake.

It was one of the finest rom-coms of the century. From the start itself, you adored the characters and found the storyline pretty interesting. Obviously, you couldn't help but glance at Yeosang secretly from time to time, and notice every little detail of his facial expression as he watched the movie. Ugh, that perfect freaking side profile of his, No matter what angle you saw this man, he was the most handsome guy you had ever seen in your life. That jawline could surely cut diamonds, you thought. God, how badly you wanted to ruffle those soft strands of tousled, black hair. You chose to focus on the movie instead. You glanced at Jia and noticed her and wooyoung's hands intertwined together. You wished it was you and Yeosang holding hands, too...

At some point, your and yeosang's fingers brushed together because both of you reached for the popcorn in the chair stand at the same time. You felt yourself blush so badly, that you were glad it was dark right now, or else Jia would have teased the hell out of you.

"I'm having this first, i reached for it first." Yeosang whispered lowly and it sent shivers down your spine because of how close he was to you, as he said this.

"Huh, no way. Let me have it first. How can you be so sure you reached for it first?" You argued, now lightly slapping yeosang's palm under yours. He let out a fake wince and tried grabbing some popcorn but you stopped him just in time, and there you were; the both of you fighting childishly like nursery school kids. This was your element, right now you were in your natural habitat with yeosang. This is what you both did every time, bantering about every little thing and you both never got tired of pissing each other off.

"God, shut up already, you both. Here, take our popcorn, Why does it even matter who reached for it first?" Jia said, quite annoyed.

"Really can't take the both of you anywhere. Always fighting like siblings." Wooyoung said, sighing, and passed their popcorn to Jia who passed it to you.

You lightly pinched Jia's arm after hearing wooyoung's words. "Tell your boyfriend to not call us siblings. Ew, who would even like to be siblings with this guy?" You whispered something only Jia was supposed to hear but unfortunately yeosang heard it, too.

"Just so you know, i would absolutely loathe to be your sibling too. The feeling's mutual." Yeosang said, huffing, and suddenly the movie in front of you was long forgotten. You passed him an annoying smirk and he did too, but the both of you calmed down soon, your attention back on the movie.

And suddenly, the both of you were laughing together at a comedy scene, and your eyes met yeosang's as you took in the sight of his carefree, almost adorable laughter. So this is what his laughter was like. To say that you liked observing such things about yeosang was an understatement. You loved knowing and collecting bits of information about this guy and unravelling every little inch of his personality.

Wooyoung and Jia stared at the both of you in unision as you and yeosang didn't break your eye contact for a few seconds. It seemed like you were searching for something, in his eyes. As you caught yeosang's gaze on your lips briefly for a second, you felt like passing ou. You broke the eye contact, the heat in your cheeks rising as you refocused on the screen in front of you. You couldn't bear to see him smirking after winning this battle of eye contact, yet again.

The movie ended after 2 hours, and you legit felt like these were the longest 2 hours of your life. As you both exited the cinema hall. all of you happily chatting about how good the storyline of the movie was, you suddenly became quiet for a few minutes, recollecting yeosang's brief glance at your lips back in the cinema hall. And you slowly stared up at the the same guy ahead of you, his dimples prominent as he chatted with wooyoung and jia. What if, just what if, one of you had made the first move, back then, and would have kissed? He was the one who stared at your lips first, after all.

But then again, that wasn't possible. Maybe it was just a coincidence, him staring at your lips. You were so normal about this. Totally normal. Yeosang didn't affect you in any way.

You caught up to them, and heard Jia saying something about how her relatives were about to visit her that night and how she needed to go home as soon as possible. Wooyoung, as her boyfriend, of course; offered to drop her home and soon, they waved the both of you goodbye, exiting the cinema together.

You and yeosang were alone, yet again, at the cinema, now.

You both walked out towards the exit together, the atmosphere painfully quiet between the both of you. Just as you were about to say something, Yeosang interrupted your words.

"So like, i bought my bike here. I can give you a ride home if you'd like... it's pretty late, anyways. Where did you say you lived again?" Yeosang inquired, standing right in front of you. His hair was messier than before now because of the wind, and your hands itched to straighten up his hair for him.

You had to be the stupidest person on earth to reject his current offer, yet you did. It was like a godsent opportunity was placed right in front of you and yet you rejected it like the coward you were. You were going to regret this badly, later.

"Uhh, i live just like, 20 minutes away from here. You don't have to drop me home, i wanted to walk home anyways. Thanks for the offer, though." You said weakly.

There was an obvious expression of disappointment on yeosang's face, but it lasted only for a second as he asked for a second time, if you were sure about walking home at this late hour. He looked like he wasn't ready to be rejected. like you would have obviously said yes to his offer. which you should have.

And here you were, all by yourself, after witnessing one of the hottest scenarios you've ever seen in your life: Kang Yeosang on his dashing red motorbike, his huge black helmet covering his head, him passing you a peace sign to show that he was finally leaving, and you waved him off, watching him disappear into the darkness of the streets ahead. The moment he started the gear of his bike and drove so impeccably fast, you realised that he wasn't just driving his bike but was also driving you insane.

You sighed and walked in the opposite direction of where Yeosang went, opening your phone to google maps. You had no freaking clue why you lied to Yeosang about your home being close to the cinema. It was apparently gonna take you 40 minutes to reach home, and just as you were walking halfway, you decided to call in a cab on the way home. You stood near the giant tree across the pavement, a hug car parked right ahead of you.

Suddenly, you felt a tug on your purse. A stranger dressed in all black appeared in front of you, and since your attention was on your phone, you reacted poorly. He attempted to snatch at your purse and before you could stop him, he already grabbed your purse and sprinted away in the darkness.

Your heart raced as you realized what had happened. Instinctively, you attempted to run after the thief, but stopped right in your tracks as you realized that he already ran too far away.

Just as panic threatened to set in, you heard a familiar voice nearby, almost growling.

"Hey, you f*cker!!! Stop right there!!!"

It was Yeosang, your unexpected shining night in armour. The way he shouted and almost growled towards the thief, for you, had you swooning over him.

Yeosang's leather jacket flapped behind him as he sprinted towards the fleeing thief, and he immediately tackled him towards the ground and successfully managed to grab your purse from his pant pockets. You watched the scenario in front of you in awe, just as you started wondering how on actual earth yeosang even came back here just in time. didn't he already leave like minutes ago? how did he even know that you were being pick pocketed??!!

"Who the hell even are you, dude?? That girl must be important to you, the way you got out of yo bike and ran so fast towards me." The thief said, and you felt like punching him on the face.

It was true, though. Why would yeosang act so fast, for you? It didn't mean anything, you managed to convince yourself. Even a random stranger would have helped you if they saw this scene unfold. It was people's duty to help each othe-

"Yeah, she's my girlfriend. You got any problem, bastard? And just how many people's pockets do you pickpocket everyday, like this?!" Yeosang shouted angrily without hesitation, not even passing you a single glance. You felt your blood run cold.

Girlfriend. Yeah, she's my girlfriend, you bastard.

The words rang again and again in your ears, not until you become unconscious of hearing them. Why would he, even...?

Hell, he could have called you his best friend for what its worth and that wouldn't affect you like this. Yet, he chose to introduce you as his girlfriend to a random thief whom he was now painfully punching in the face. You stared at him, completely still, and something told you he wasn't done beating that thief, as the thief skillfully flipped yeosang over and ran away for his life.

Yeosang grunted painfully, at the feeling of rocks hitting his back as he slowly took hold of himself and got up. That was when you wasted no time in rushing over to his side, placing an arm on his shoulder and wiping off the dust from his jacket with the other hand. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, your rival whom you had a crush on, fighting off a thief for you.

"Yeosang...how did you even? know i was in this situation? and weren't you already on your way home...? You asked, confusion etched in your voice and expression.

Yeosang looked up at you, agonizingly slowly, and handed you your purse, which you took very carefully, holding it close to your chest. He didn't say anything for almost a minute, but then he spoke up.

"Yeah, because apparently, you are so dumb that you can't even take care of yourself. If i wouldn't have been here, y/n, tell me, who the hell would have helped you??!!" Yeosang sounded angry, and that was probably the first time he ever raised his voice on you. You flinched slightly and the tone of his words and he noticed, his gaze immediately softening. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to-"

"No, y-you're right. I really am the dumbest person on earth. I shouldn't have let down your offer of dropping me home..." You admitted, tears almost threatening to spill out of your eyes because you were so embarrassed.

"Oh yeah, about that. On my way home on the bike, i recalled when you once told me your address and realised that you live quite far away from here. And yet you lied to me about your home being 20 minutes away from here. Why?" Yeosang demanded some answers from you and he surely had the entire right of knowing why you lied to him.

"Yeosang, i.... i dont know. I probably just didn't want to bother you or something, at such late hours of night, you know..." You trailed off.

"You would not have bothered me in any way. Besides, your home is just on the way to mine by a few minutes..." Yeosang said, and then there was complete silence between the two of you for a few minutes. Something hung in the air, something that was left to be addressed. Oh right. Girlfriend. You desperately tried to ignore the blush that formed on your face as his words rung up in your ears, your mind, your body, your soul- once again.

You hesitated for a moment but managed to ask this, regardless.

"A-and, um, why did you tell that thief that i'm your girlfriend, earlier......? You asked, your voice almost breaking but you hoped that yeosang heard you, loud and clear.

"Ah, about that. Don't think about it much, you know. It just spilled out of my mouth, to uh, scare that thief away for good. To make some impact, you know?" Yeosang answered sheepishly, his hand awkwardly caressing the back of his head.

You could almost laugh right now, that's how ridiculous this situation was. "Don't think about it much" how can i not, for god's sake, kang yeosang, when that's the only thing i'm going to be focusing on for the rest of my life? "to make an impact" my ass.

You let out a small sigh and looked him right in the eyes. SO, all this really didn't mean anything to him. He just casually addressed you as his girlfriend to make an impact on the thief. great. you could be hit with a million rocks right now, and that would still hurt less than what you were feeling right now.

You realised that you were supposed to reply to him, because well, he already gave you his answer.

"An impact?? Sure. Whatever you say." You replied, sounding disinterested. Unbothered. The complete opposite of what you were feeling right now. Hell, you should audition for acting, the way you're able to conceal your true emotions so well.

"Well, i'm taking you home now, and i'm not hearing a single word of protest from you now." He announced, already dashing out to reach for his bike before you could even reply to him.

He returned in no time, placing his bike right in front of you both and hopping off on his bike, patting on the seat behind him, motioning for you to get on.

"What are you waiting for? Get on already." He said, sounding impatient. You really weren't left with any choice now. You hopped on the seat behind yeosang, and yeosang instructed to to hold on tight to him as he started. You hesitated for a second but gripped his shoulders a second later, feeling his strong shoulders and the expensive material of his leather jacket. You felt dizzy.

Just as yeosang started the engine, your heart almost beat out of your chest as you realised at the fast speed he was driving with. But you weren't really afraid of speed. not at all. Instead, it was the complete opposite; you felt alive, you felt exhilarated, you felt this sudden surge of freedom in your veins. You removed your hands from yeosang's shoulder and waved your hands in the air, freely, as yeosang tilted his head with his helmet on just for a second, smirking and grinning at how happy you were, right now.

Suddenly, a rock bumped the tyre of his bike, causing a huge drift as you hurriedly gripped yeosang's shoulder with so much force, you swore the jacket was dropping off his shoulders.

"Oh gosh, i'm sorry, that must have hurt-" You started as you noticed him stiffen a little at your sudden touch.

"No, you did the right thing. Make sure to always hold onto me with such force whenever such bumps occur. I need you to be as safe as possible." He replied, his words sounding muffled because of his helmet.

I need you to be as safe as possible.

God, what was his deal nowadays? Did he suddenly make it his mission to test you, today??!! You kept the same grip on his shoulders, humming in response to him, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating impeccably faster, the rest of your ride peacefully quiet, as you took in the chilly night air, the streetlamps, and the tall buildings around you.

This all felt like a dream. Here, huddled close with your rival slash crush on his bike, him offering you a ride home, you enjoying the chilly night with yeosang. if this really was a dream, you did not want to wake up from this dream.

maybe this was all that you've wanted, all this time. this was all you craved for. and now that you're getting dangerously closer to yeosang, how could you even spend a minute away from him? how could you not think about this perfect guy all the time, when he is all you've ever wanted?

Just as you reached your building, yeosang stopped the engine, got off his bike and removed his helmet. You did the same, an empty feeling lingering within you as you let go of your grip on his shoulder. you wanted to get impossibly closer to him, and yet, here you were: staring at the guy in awe, like he just won the olympics.

"well.....?" he started, smirking a little, taking in your impressed expression and waiting for some compliments.

"that was AWESOME, yeosang, even though i hate to admit it. You looked...really cool driving your bike. thank you for bringing me home in one piece." You said a little sarcastically.

"You're welcome. Well, get in already. It's pretty late and i need to go home soon." He said, smiling satisfactorily.

"Right. Um, goodnight. Get home safe and thank you again." You said, holding on tight to your purse and walking towards your complex, and just when you were far away from yeosang, you glanced at him and noticed that he was watching you leave, as if he wasn't planning to leave unless he saw you get completely inside your building gates.

that is something a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend, right......?

You waved lightly at him and he waved back, finally getting on his bike and you watched him, once again, trailing off in the darkness.

Kang Yeosang........

why do i keep smiling, after meeting you these days? Why is my mood entirely different nowadays when you are around?

My eyes keep looking for you everywhere, even if it's unnecessary. how is this even me? i am supposed to be hating you. i am supposed to be happy if you leave me the hell alone. but i feel so...empty and sad instead. what spell and magic have you used on me? that i keep selfishly wanting you, more and more. i don't even know when this all happened. somehow, my heart beats impeccably faster, only for you. this started at one point and never ended,

how did you even become so important to me, yeosang?

you give my life it's meaning. i am still so utterly young and so are you. i don't know what i am saying at this point. but my growing feelings, my changed emotions towards you nowadays.....it's not a joke. not anymore. if i don't confess to you soon i might die. a rejection at this point would hurt less than bottling my feelings inside like a raging storm.

i want you. selfishly, dangerously, desperately, want you- all for myself.

who knew something would provoke me to actually confess to you...today?

.

It’s late afternoon; the sun casts long shadows through the hallway's tall windows, bathing the scene in a golden, wistful light. As students hurry to their next class, the locker doors clank and conversations blur into a continuous hum, creating a backdrop of ordinary high school life. but something isn't ordinary today, actually since a week- between you and yeosang.

it had been two weeks since the movie date happened, also the day wherein yeosang dropped you home on his bike, fought a thief for you and addressed you as his girlfriend. which was all a lie, of course. but you still can't get his words out of your mind, ever since that day. and it bothers you that something as heavy as that was so easy for him to lie about.

Talking about you and your activities these days- well, you were supposed to hand in a hefty chemistry project the next week, and one of your classmates, Jaehyun, was your partner was the same. Almost all your extra time after school gets occupied with working on your project with Jaehyun at your home. Everything was working smoothly and efficiently, Jaehyun was the best partner you could have ever asked for. You had known Jaehyun ever since the first year of high school and were good friends with him, but you both never really talked much, not until you were paired up together for the project.

And here you were- walking towards the familiar person towards his desk, chatting with him about what you were supposed to finish today. You could not even make your point straight sometimes, while conversing with him, because Jaehyun, being the jokester he is, would crack such horrendous jokes and wordplays every now and then, you couldn't help but burst out into laughter and beg him to stop. soon enough, though, he would concentrate on what you're saying and add suggestions of his own, because unfortunately, he knew the both of you needed to get those grades.

Somehow, even though Jaehyun made you laugh your lungs out for minutes straight, you still felt empty, still felt this unusual surge of sadness.

and of course, the only person responsible for that was kang yeosang.

over the past week, yeosang has been acting so unusual towards you. Your relationship, once filled with playful banter and unending teasing, now even him ranting to you about his family conflicts and the movie date events, had taken a sharp, unexplained turn, leaving you feeling confused and isolated. it would not have bothered you much if it happened once or twice, but it happened every day over the past week, including today. you felt like drowning in an ocean every single time he ignored you over the past week.

On Monday, you tried to indulge him in a joke during algebra class, but he barely cracked a smile at that, instead, he gave an uninterested shrug and turned away to talk to wooyoung, who was seated beside him. The laughter that followed, one that you weren't a part of, suddenly felt like a barrier between the both of you.

On Tuesday, when you were both seated in the library at the same time, just when you were about to reach out to him to start a normal conversation, he took hold of his bag and left- without sparing you a single glance or acknowledging you like he always did, at least with a smirk. You felt a sharp, burning ache in your chest, at that moment.

On Wednesday and Thursday, just when you didn't want to overthink much about yeosang's sudden unusual behaviour towards you, things worsened. Once, when it was physics class, you were looking forward to the rivalry that always took place in between both of you, almost like a form of affection. You used to compete on who could answer the professor's questions first and he never let down his guard during such lectures. But this time, his hang didn't raise up to answer, not even once. You passed him a confused glance and he just shrugged, yet again, and you were 100% sure he knew the answer but still didn't answer instead. he seemed distracted and impossibly distant to you, and all you wanted to do is cry until you passed out. a similar incident of him ignoring you happened on Thursday and frankly, you don't even want to talk about it.

On Friday, the week's pattern of avoidance reached its peak. as school ended and the bells rung, you felt a knot of anxiety instead of relief that school ended. As you reached your locker, you overheard yeosang and wooyoung talking about their weekend plans about playing a new video game that wooyoung had bought, together. the ease and joy you felt in yeosang's voice made your stomach churn, because just as you walked closer to him, trying to start a conversation yet again, smiling faintly- yeosang glanced up, saw you, and the smile on his face suddenly faded. Wooyoung didn't seem to notice because he was scrolling something on his phone. Yeosang immediately broke eye contact with you and whispered something to wooyoung, effectively dismissing you. huh, two could play this game, you thought. angered and confused like hell, you turned away from him and took your bag and left without sparing him another glance.

"He's definitely ignoring me. I dont even know the hell why." You mumbled, lying on your bed, and Jia put her phone aside and turned to you, looking concerned. She came over to hang out with you for a while, during the weekends, and who else could you open up to about your problems other than your best friend?

"After you described his unusual behaviour towards you the entire week, i think so too. And that is so shitty of him. Seriously, have you done something to piss him off badly these days?" Jia asked, confused.

"I don't even get the chance to TALK to him nowadays, Jia- let alone tease him or piss him off. And over and over i keep thinking if i did o said something wrong but nothing comes to my mind, seriously. How dare he give me a cold shoulder after literally calling me his girlfriend to a random stranger last week??!!" You ranted, sounding and feeling the angriest you've ever felt in your life.

Jia consoled you and tried her best to distract your mind from yeosang during the time she was with you. but after she left, at night; you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying yeosang's cold indifference over and over in your mind. This can't continue into next week; you need answers, and deserve answers. Monday, you decide, will be the day you confront yeosang, demanding to know why he pushed you away over the week. You fell asleep rehearsing what she would say, each word crafted precisely to argue with him and let him know how sad and frustrated you get when he ignores you....which would maybe also lead to you confessing to him...?

not that you cared. if a confession is what comes out of this then be it.

.

The weekend passed by in no time. Here you were, presenting your chemistry project in front of the entire class along with Jaehyun, feeling pretty confident and satisfied with your work. The presentation went by pretty smoothly and your chemistry teacher showered you both with compliments and so did the entire class; applauding cheerfully. You returned to your seat with a huge smile on your face (that you couldn't hide) and fist-bumped Jaehyun, telling him that you both truly did a great job.

Next up was Yeosang and Mingi's project. Mingi was one of your classmates and also a good friend of Yeosang's. Their presentation was something unique and different, something that had grabbed the entire class's attention, including yours. They both explained each concept so well and their research was done excellently. While directly making eye contact with the entire class while explaining each slide, at some point, when their presentation was done and the entire class cheered rowdily once again, Yeosang's eyes made brief eye contact with yours, and you could not tell what his expression meant. But you clapped softly and Yeosang's face was still blank, not until he met eyes with other students and smiled politely at them. You still continued staring at him until he settled back into his seat, your eyes silently spitting outrage and confusion, and he didn't look back at you.

Your mind was now a outlet of mixed emotions and feelings and displaced thoughts; as you worked out how to settle everything with yeosang and to know what the hell was his actual deal.

You could not figure out anything, not until all lectures for the day ended and the bell rang loudly, all students hurrying up to pack their bags and go home. A sudden splash of currentness washed over you, as you realized that this was your only chance to confront Yeosang, or else he'd be gone forever. You could confront him tomorrow too, but you had planned to do this today and you never broke promises with yourself. Instead of directly lashing out at him, you decided to compliment him on his project first and ask him about his thoughts on your project.

Just as you spotted him at the classroom doors, ready to step out into the hallway, you quickly rushed over and stood after him, almost blocking his way.

"Hey. Y-your project, and Mingi's too, of course- was amazing. Well done, seriously." You managed to let out, almost in a fangirl kinda voice.

Yeosang just stared at you for a second, a bit startled at first when you practically blocked his way, but now his expression was still blank, and he mumbled out a low "thank you."

Nah, this isn't it. You decided to speak up a bit more, like normal.

"I was really impressed by how detailed your explanations were. What did you think about my project? Was it good enough to impress THE kang yeosang?" You asked, chuckling a little. Usually, yeosang would have definitely giggled a little, or even smirked, but instead, he parted his lips awkwardly.

"Yeah, it was cool." He replied, his voice still low. You still stood there, expecting him to say something more, but he didn't, instead- just stared coldly at you as if telling you to get the hell outta his way and let him leave. But you were absolutely not letting that happen. He crossed is limit and your blood was practically boiling now.

"What the hell is wrong with you nowadays, Yeosang?" You asked him, your voice low but still emitting annoyance and rage.

"W-what do you mean?" He asked, now breaking eye contact with you, staring at the floor behind you. You couldn't believe that he stuttered while saying his first word. Ah, so he is aware of his actions over the past week, you thought.

"What do i mean?? SERIOUSLY?? Don't act all innocent. Why are you ignoring me and pushing me off since the past week?" You asked, your voice loud and firm, demanding answers. "Just so you know, I am not letting you get away with the silent treatment you've been giving me. Tell me, what did I even do wrong that you're giving me the cold shoulder??!! You said, practically screaming at the man in front of you. Something about Yeosang's demeanor changed, at that moment- his eyes were now a flicker of emotions you could not comprehend.

"I'm.....not ignoring you. I am talking with you now, aren't i?" He said, his voice still low, almost as if he spoke any further it would break.

"Stop lying for god's sake!!!!!" You let out, and without thinking any further, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the nearest closet, the one closest to the hallway and your class.

It looked like a huge closet from the outside, but it was pretty closed-off from the inside, and you had no idea how you managed to fit inside it along with Yeosang, but you did.

Yeosang almost removed his wrist from your grip but gave up as soon as you dragged him inside the closet with you, breathing heavily in this constricted place he was bought to.

Inside the dimly lit closet, the air was thick with the scent of lemon polish and dust. You finally let go of his wrist and stood a few inches apart from him, your gaze piercing an burning holes into his skin.

"Are you insane? Why did you even bring me here, y/n??" He asked, coughing a little. Your skin formed goosebumps as your ears registered the fact that he called out your name. You did not hear him call you by your name for the past week and now that he did, you felt like you were getting dizzy.

"Quit the act and tell me what the hell is wrong with you. Unfortunately, i had to bring you here to talk or else you would have pushed me off and walked past me again, ignoring me like always, right?" You let out, your voice sarcastic.

Suddenly you became aware of the present situation, you locked into a small, constricted closet along with your rival....or your crush, him being only inches apart from you. There was a dim light turned on inside the closet so hopefully, you could see each other's faces, and hell, why did yeosang always have to look this goddamn handsome?

The strands of his smooth, black hair were messed up at the edges and he was sweating a little because of the current atmosphere, and his forehead was slightly exposed- his hoop cross earrings shining in the dim light. There were no restrictions about wearing subtle jewelry at your school and Yeosang took advantage of it, showing off his ear piercings.

If he wanted to leave and had nothing else to say to you, he would have already opened the closet door and would have left, you thought. But he didn't, instead, you felt his lips being parted as if he was about to say something. He hesitated for a few seconds, but said it regardless;

"Why......Ah, right. Your project is over now and you won't spend time with Jaehyun anymore, so you're suddenly looking for me now?" He said, laughing a little in disbelief.

What....? No way...... was he jealous of you spending time with Jaehyun nowadays?

You weren't dumb, you had already thought about the possibility of Yeosang perhaps giving you the cold shoulder because he felt jealous of Jaehyun, since you really were spending a lot of time with him since the past week... but you quickly brushed this off because you always thought that Yeosang did not like you in that way. Always.....and him saying this to you, right now, obviously implied that he was jealous, right?

"What are you talking about? Who do you even think i am....yeosang?? Don't tell me you felt jealous of Jaehyun?" You let out, staring so firmly at him, observing each and every single detail about his expression.

Silence. He didn't say anything, instead just stared below, almost looking embarrassed.

Now, it was you who was laughing in disbelief. "Just talk to me...for gods sake. You being quiet is not helping, and now you're implying that you felt jealous of Jaehyun. What am i supposed to make of this?" You asked, patiently or impatiently waiting for him to just...speak.

"So, am i in the wrong for feeling jealous, now?? I am sorry. I have to be the stupidest person on earth, i- i don't even have the right to be feeling jealous for you, y/n," Yeosang said, and the last sentence felt like something he would've wanted to say to himself. He felt vulnerable, his words felt vulnerable- and if you weren't confronting him right now, you would have hugged him for sure.

"Hey... i'm not saying that you feeling jealous is wrong. It's definitely not. Just, do you have any clue how you ignoring me and giving me the worst cold shoulder made me feel? I wanted to cry, scream, pull you by your collar and make you look directly at me and just...wanted everything between us to be normal. I, feel so deprived when you don't give me attention, you're so important to me, i-i don't know how you became so important to me, Yeosang." You said, catching your breath as you stared at the wall sideways. You could not look at Yeosang right now. You just couldn't.

"Y/N.....i had no idea...." He said, not breaking his gaze away from your face.

"I'm sorry, all this time, i thought it was just me...i am not supposed to be feeling jealous of you, y/n. You're my rival, goddamit- and as this thought sunk in, i realized that i like you, so bad that it hurts. I am sorry, for making you sad. That's the last thing I'd want, i like you so much, I'd never want you to cry over someone as stupid as me-" and that's it. that's all it took for you to close the remaining inches of distance between the both of you. You wanted him to just, stop speaking. Apologizing. You could hear him say that he liked you a million times, but him apologizing for liking you? You wanted to cry, SCREAM. Realizing that you were just an inch away from his face, not only did yeosang stop speaking, but those dark, majestic eyes immediately glanced at your lips, and that's all it took for you to press a light, chaste kiss on his lips.

You immediately pulled apart after a second, not even registering Yeosang's reaction to the sudden kiss. It was too much for you, though- his lips were so soft, although you just pecked for a mere second, you could feel how sweet those perfect lips tasted, and you wanted to kiss him forever. You don't even know how you managed to pull apart, but you did, of course- because you could not do this if yeosang didn't want to.

Yeosang's eyes widened the moment you kissed him, and although you were too scared to see his reaction, you did anyways, your eyes roaming everywhere, hesitantly, nervously around his face. And then you finally met his eyes- and saw him lift his hand and one of his fingers lightly grazed the edge of his lips, as if registering that you had...just kissed him.

He met your eyes, and just when you had this horrible feeling to just open the closet doors and run away for your life, Yeosang grabbed your wrist, walking a few inches closer until he pulled you up against the closet wall on your side, and you swore your heart beat right out of your chest, at that moment. He placed his other hand right behind your head, on the wall; and a small smile played at the corner of his lips before chasing your lips once again, completely closing any distance left between the both of you, and kissed you slowly at first, as if savoring you, learning how it feels like to kiss you. You firmly closed your eyes, trying your best to live in this moment, to kiss him back just as sweetly as he did.

A million reasons could have convinced you that Kang Yeosang would have rejected you and that things would never be the same between the both of you again. But not a single reason could have convinced you that here he was, kissing you as if you both were the only people in this world, confessing to you about how much he likes you.

You were so overwhelmed with so many emotions bubbling up inside you, but the only thing you wanted was to kiss kang yeosang until you were breathless, until you felt like passing out. no stopping in between. so, you did.

His lips picked up their pace, now kissing you passionately, hungrily, as if he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life. His hand still held your wrist, and you closed it into a fist, and you just drowned in the sensation Yeosang's lips on yours. He suddenly bit your lower lip with his teeth, and you almost squealed- but regained your composition, and bit his upper lip as revenge. God, he almost moaned into your mouth and you felt your knees go weak. His lips tasted like coffee, the sweet one- like mocha. Mocha was your favorite drink and the fact that yeosang's lips tasted as sweet as mocha.....

The both of you pulled apart minutes later, completely breathless and reaching out for air- although barely any of it could be found in this constricted place. He flashed you a small, satisfied smirk, and your stomach swooned, a strong blush forming on your cheeks. The realization of your first kiss, with yeosang, taking place in the school's hallway closets- had you feeling mixed emotions. Hell, your happiness won out of those emotions, you felt so giddy inside, becuase you had just kissed THE kang yeosang.

"I hated the fact that you looked so nervous after kissing me for the first time, you know." He said, his voice firm.

"I....felt like i never made it clear, or even gave you small hints, that i liked you all along. I wanted to wash all your insecurities, hesitation and nervousness away. So i kissed you until you were breathless, hopefully making my feelings clear. You're just as important to me, like you said, i am to you." He said, holding you chin and softly caressing his thumb over your cheeks.

You melted so badly, at everything going on in this moment- his fingers softly caressing your cheeks, him confessing to you again just to make sure that you knew how much he liked you.

"S-stop saying things like that, and that too so sincerely. I feel like i might have a heart attack. And i like you too, so much that i think i might die." You said, smiling sheepishly.

"Hmm, that sounds like a convincing confession. Does that mean that you might have died if i had rejected you now, instead?" He said, chuckling.

"No, i would have still liked you as much as i always did. I would have never given up, even if you rejected me. I would do everything to make you fall in love with me. I am a stubborn person, you know." You replied, meaning every word you said.

Yeosang placed a soft, subtle kiss on your cheek after your reply, and you witnessed his beautiful, endearing eye smile at that moment, and your heart once again melted into puddles.

You could not believe all this. This was so, different.... he treated you like you were a delicate doll, at this moment, he showered so much love on you, something you would have never expected to happen. What you did expect was the usual cocky face, that usual smirk, that unending teasing, unending random fights. not....what just happened.

"L-lets get out now, we're both sweating like hell. Not really an ideal place to stay in after a confession and a kiss, you know" You said, and Yeosang nodded, peeking through the small hole in the door, making sure no one was present in the hallway. Then, you both got out, taking in the fresh air, as he mumbled "You're the one who bought me in this shitty place. However, the kiss and confession made it worth it." You passed him a smirk and he shrugged.

You both rushed toward your classroom, picked up your bags, and walked down the stairs together, the atmosphere suddenly quiet between the both of you. You tried your best to hide the fact that you just kissed someone, but you couldn't, of course- that dumb, sheepish smile on your face remained, you glancing at yeosang every now and then as you reached the school gates- him looking just as flustered as you.

i can make yeosang flustered, you thought. i have the power to make him go all shy.....

"I got jealous once too, you know." You said, breaking the silence and Yeosang looked up at you, his eyes all curious and wide.

"Don't think you even remember this, since you are so nice to everyone all the time. But you know, when you were walking down the stairs and caught a girl who was just about to fall down? I was jealous, i even wished it was me in that redheads place. I also felt like i had no right to be jealous for you." You admitted, the both of you now standing at the pavement of a street starting from the edge of your school gates.

"Ah, that time? I don't remember much, to be honest, but i had no idea that you were jealous, i don't think i was even aware that you were near me at that time..." Yeosang said, looking apologetic, and it was the first time you had ever seen him look apologetic.

"Of course, you don't remember. You do stuff like this all the time, act so nice and polite towards everyone in school- and become the complete opposite when you're with me. It has changed quite significantly nowadays, though, and now you act nice towards me too." You rambled, almost as if you were talking to yourself.

"I.... didn't know that you paid so much attention to me. Just so you know, i always teased you and fought with you and stuff, because i felt comfortable with you. It's not easy for me to be comfortable with just anyone, so i always act nice to others no matter what because i'm scared i'll disappoint them in some way... i know you won't understand this properly.." He said, and you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as if you understood him.

"I get what you mean. That's why i never really complained about our....relationship. Whenever you acted so differently towards me, it was like you were trusting me with your true, real personality. Maybe that's also one of the reasons that pushed me to confess to you." You admitted.

"I could shower you with a million compliments right now, y/n, but unfortunately, we have to go home... it's too late, but i don't want to let you go just yet." He pouted, and he looked so cute you wanted to pinch his nose. So you did.

"Alright, loverboy. Let's go home and continue this conversation while chatting or on call? My mom's probably wondering where the hell i am." Yeosang pinched your nose in return and you both giggled together, feeling content.

"Reach home safely. I'll call you later, bye." Yeosang waved to you as he parted ways in the opposite direction of yours, a lovesick smile lingering on his lips that you couldn't ignore. You waved back and almost skipped happily on your way home, thinking this might just have been the best day of your life.

.

Just as you stepped inside your room after washing up, you sat on your bed, pulling out your phone, and right at that time, a message notification popped up.

from kang yeosang. that's how you had saved his name on your phone and you chucked at how... formal it was, his full name and everything. Before checking his message, you went towards th eetings of your chat and added a heart alongside the name "yeosang"

yeosang 💗

heyy

can i call you rn? or later, if you're busy?

you

suree, call me, i'm free rn

i was waiting for ur msg <3

You picked up his call, giving up on the "hi, hello" pleasantries and just starting your conversation because you surely had so much to talk about.

"This might just be the first time i've ever called you. It's so weird but i've wanted to do it since a long time." He chuckled, his voice sounding deep and low, and you felt like your heart was on fire.

"I know, right. All this is so... unusual. We used to be RIVALS, yeosang. and now, today, we....all this..... i can't believe this." You said, finding it unreal that you're even talking with yeosang on the phone, right now.

"Seriously. We still are rivals, though, you're such a smartass and i can't help but get competitive at almost...everything with you. But we can be making out in between all such banters and saying sweet stuff to each other sometimes, i guess."

You laughed at how honest yeosang was and how he worded everything. You realized that you were no better than him because when it came to him, you could just go on rambling forever, saying words that don't make sense sometimes.

"Deal. So i guess we're rivals and lovers at the same time..now." You chuckled at how absurd that sounded, but it was true.

"That's right, y/n. Ah shoot, i have to go now, wooyoung's practically screaming at me over texts when i told him about our kiss and confession today." There was a hint of panic in yeosang's voice and you found it cute.

"OH FUCK. That reminds me how i have to tell Jia about this, too. Talk to you later, rival slash lover boy." Jia would practically call you and scream at you at this, just like wooyoung. they truly do suit each other....

"That was a little- nevermind. Bye, rival slash lover girl." He replied, waiting for you to cut the phone, so you did, although it was painful and you could keep listening to his voice forever.

And as expected, Jia was so pumped up after heating your events of the day with yeosang, she screamed so loud, saying "FREAKING FINALLY, YOU DUMBASS" your ears might've been permanently damaged at this point. But she said how happy she was for you and how she'll kick yeosang's ass if he ever makes you sad, and you thanked her for that.

Everything was so much for you to take in. But suddenly, everything felt right, everything felt like normal, at the same time. It was like you were meant to be, together with yeosang, although you were his rival.

The playful banters and teasing could go on and on in your relationship, along with the both of you doing the things a couple does, successfully planting in a healthy relationship.

You felt blessed to have such a person in your life, someone like yeosang, who made your life so interesting, so exciting, someone who made you look forward to waking up in the morning and someone who was now yoir boyfriend.

Boyfriend, yeosang.....hmm. I like the sound of that. You thought, giddily grabbing your pillow and practically squealing because of how happy and content you were.

but of course, not content just yet. there were so many things to do with yeosang, now that you both were a couple- go on dates everywhere, kiss all the time, make love, say that you love each other a hundred times...

you were not ready but were ready at the same time, for the upcoming chapters of your life with kang yeosang, your now rival slash lover boy- moments that you were sure would make you feel like you're living the best life possible because you're living them with yeo.

A/N ^^^ - a possible upcoming extra scene coming up for this one, which I will include in another post later <3 because I felt like the ending was pretty rushed but I will make it up to you guys later, I promise. it's just because I felt like this fic was getting way too long and it'd be too much for y'all to read ;(

likes, reblongs, comments and follows are always immensely appreciated, dear reader, thank you so much for reading my fic!! :)

[groovebunker]

@wild-fleurs

oh boy. do i have nanny related hills to die on. please, get a drink, sit down, settle in.

cc is a lesbian. that's it. she's a dyke. a homosexual. not just because i like lesbians. i just think her behaviour is easy to read as comp het bc why else would you be that interested in maxwell sheffield?

maxwell sheffield is history's greatest monster. i hate max. max is at best an absent father, a lackluster business partner and an awful boss. he's also a terrible husband who never, ever deserved fran fine. ever. he doesn't love fran, he loves the idea of her and the way he treats her after they get married makes me want to commit a murder.

fran should have dumped max after paris. that's it, that's the hill.

cc babcock, neuro divergent angel. my girl is autistic. that is an autistic babe. fran gives me big adhd vibes also.

you can fuck off if you think fran fine can't cook. nice jewish girl™ fran fine, daughter of sylvia fine, can't cook? are you fucking kidding me? this is one of the things about the show that pisses me off so fucking much, food is so much a part of fran's character - she's a caretaker, she's jewish - i refuse to believe that she cannot cook.

the fact that a show set in the 90s with two main characters who are broadway producers doesn't mention aids makes me want to scream. i know it's a comedy! i know they didn't do any very special episodes but still. a nod! please!

cc got done so dirty - lauren is so fucking funny and she could have done so much more with that role if fran drescher didn't need to be the funniest, prettiest woman in the room at all times (sorry fran, ily, but i know i'm right)

fran also did herself dirty. the voice jokes? the jokes about her weight? like girl, you're funnier and better than that. this is not a show which treats women well.

fran/cc is a better enemies to lovers than niles/cc. there was the possibility for development there!!! i will one day give a ted talk on it. fundamentally tho, i think it comes down to how enemies to lovers is based on obsession and cc is obsessed with fran (even if she says it's about getting rid of her) (she's lying). fran's less obsessed but i don't think fran sees cc as an enemy (bc fran has a functioning gaydar), fran kind of pities cc. but i think there is something there, something which could have at least developed into a friendship (if the show didn't hate women!!) and in my head, will always develop into romance.

i'm sure when i post this, one of my friends will remind me of another one of my hills but this is good to start with.

[reverseexorcist]

Hi! How are you? Can you write some enemies to lovers with Lute if you feel comfortable with that? Like reader is a overlord who likes to fight every extermination day just for fun and Lute sees a worthy rival until they fall in love?

❥ 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐧 𝐌𝐞 𝐈𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 ❥

Oh wow I love her such a normal amount like seriously you could ask me anything about her and I would be the most normal person ever about her. But something about enemies to lover Lute with a sinner reader just hits different-

Someone here was having way more fun with the enemies to lovers aspect of this (and it's not Lute.)

(I am sorry I took so long with this request, but it was just so long and I'm juggling multiple blogs, interests and school-work rn so I'm just happy to get this one out. Thank you for being so patient <3)

➲ Lute + !F!Overlord!Reader

➲ Romantic ☒, Platonic ☐

➲ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 Count; 4,532 Words

➲ Warnings/notes; Descriptions of gore, descriptions of body shifting/horror, tsundere Lute, lots of fighting between two idiots who are actually trying to murder each other

Three hours before extermination day. Three hours before the exorcists would descend from Heaven like a plaguing swarm to rid Hell of as many demons as they possibly could. Three hours before you could go dance with death like you usually did and scare the living shit out of winners and sinners alike with your almost insane mannerisms.

Because that's what you did for fun, apparently.

However, unlike the countless times before you'd done this, you were feeling just a little tired. Staying up late to binge the new episode of 'MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL' mightn've been the best idea you'd ever had, but it was one hundred percent worth it even as you stood proudly, staring up at the pearly gates of Heaven. From where you stood, they still looked rather bare, and so you didn't think a quick nap beforehand would be all that bad, right?

At least, that was the plan. Just a quick nap before the extermination to get your head in the game - Except you'd forgotten to put a damn alarm on and slept right through the beginning ceremony. As the holy trumpets and guitar riffs echoed throughout the scorching pit of eternal suffering, you were snoozing away peacefully in your Evil Overlord Tower™.

Or, at least, you were.

Something didn't feel right, which was odd, because you had one of the most comfortable beds in all of Hell courtesy of the instinctual fear you spread throughout the ring of pride. And when something wasn't right, you sought to make it right because you didn't deal with shit that annoyed you (such, through the power you held).

A light weight rested across you, evenly spread expertly as if whoever was standing above you was trying not to rouse you from your slumber. For a moment, you thought you'd imagined it. There was no movement from above you, and there was a split second where you considered just letting your mind relax and fall asleep again, but such thoughts didn't get you into your current status. Being an overlord meant destruction and paranoia, the two things you strove to embody.

You barely gave whoever was on top of you time to react, moving swiftly enough that for a split second, your entire body shimmered and turned invisible as you slammed your would-be attacker into the floor.

Your hands fumbled, grappling with a sleek, steel pole that you promptly threw outwards, topping the attacker in front of you over. The room around you shook violently, the lights flickering as your brain caught up with your body, trying its hardest to shake the dregs of unconsciousness from your mind.

Bold stripes stared back at you, a sleek mask emblazoned with threads of angelic steel. The sight jogged your still sleep-hazy brain.

'Oh yeah, extermination day' and you gleefully took a swipe at the exterminator in front of you. You'd just fix the damages later.

But she was fast, swift on her wings and on her feet as she ducked and rolled out of the way. You could see she was stumbling, still recovering from the shock of being thrown halfway across the room. But you could still clearly see that she wielded her weapon with pure fury and raw talent, which was certainly something you weren't used to. Other exorcists relied on the fact that normal demons couldn't hurt them, their fighting sloppy and trivial because of it. The one in front of you actually knew what she was doing.

"You're kinda rude, y'know," Rolling your shoulders, a part of you was miffed for being woken up so rudely. Another part of you was grateful for the wake-up call.

She laughed, deep and sharp. The sound made your heart flutter.

"Demon scum like you don't deserve niceties," Her grin grew, sharp edges stretching upwards. You hummed thoughtfully and shrugged your shoulders.

The exorcist charged forward, striking forward with precision startlingly quickly. But you were quicker - Ducking under the point of her spear and tackling her, grappling with her wings as the two of you rolled across the floor in a writhing mass of fury. Holy steel clashing against the might of an overlord. Deep grooves were carved in your floor, yet, as the exorcist managed to tuck her head and roll with the momentum till she was on her feet in one elegant swoop, you couldn't find yourself caring. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, and you almost laughed as she stabbed at you with her spear once more. You parried it almost expertly, cackling before you managed to grab the pole between your palms.

It almost seemed evenly matched between the two of you, an unstoppable force fighting against an immovable object. The poor spear quivered, bending as you both quarrelled over it like young children until it splintered roughly between your palms, crushed beneath the sheer force you exerted. That seemed to get the exorcist's attention.

She stumbled backwards, no doubt thoroughly pissed off at her now shortened weapon - But even that didn't deter the bloodlust in her step. Half of it was thrown away, the broken half that held no pointed end, and chucked it at your face. It missed, and instead, it rattled ominously somewhere behind you in time with the flickering lights, but with your attention split for just a breath, the exorcist lunged forward and scraped a shallow wound in your forearm. It stung, numbly, and the wisk of air as she jumped warned you belatedly. Crimson trickled tantalisingly down your arm as the air between you sizzled, thick and heavy with some undeterminate feeling that made your blood thrum with electricity.

You cackled, grin growing to match the angel's, jaw splitting further than it probably should've as your bones cracked seamlessly, form growing larger as you felt the power of endless stolen souls burning your flesh. Your head brushed against the ceiling, bending to fit in the limited space - You could only relish in the confusion and fear that rolled over the exorcist's face, quickly masked with the solemn, set expression of a battle-seasoned soldier.

However stoic she seemed, you saw your opening and rocketed forward with speed that seemed unsightly for how big you were, pulling yourself against the floor like the demon you were. With the force of a semi-truck, you slammed the exorcist into the wall, fracturing the framework and no doubt rattling her entire being to her very core. You could feel the point of her spear pressed faintly against your chest, a gentle reminder that you quickly snagged and tossed the item far across the room. 

Face to face, almost nose to nose. A twisted scarl danced across her face, pearly white fangs stained with spatters of golden blood. It was almost beautiful with how it shimmered in the darkness, like liquid stardust.

"You better fucking kill me, hell-spawn," She spat in your face, fingernails carving angry crescents in your skin.

You laughed, because her words were rather cliche, after all.

"Y'know," You mused, "maybe knowing I'm down here will make you try harder next time."

That did not ease her scowl, but that didn't really bother you, because you had other places to be right now - You weren't going to waste your entire extermination day on one singular angel after all.

You threw her out of the nearest window.

She would be fine, with her wings and all, but it was still funny watching the momentary panic spread across her face before she realised the same thing you did.

Furiously, she flared out her banded wings, scattering loose a flurry of black and white feathers, specks of gold blood arcing in the crimson sky around her. Dazed as she was, her fierce eyes flickered and spun before honing in on her mobile target, namely, you. A titan of the underworld, an overlord in hell - An ear-piercing, spine-chilling cackle echoing around the eastern side of the Pentagram as you pulled yourself from your tower, monstrous figure all too elegant for how big you were, hauntingly so.

And that just made her blood boil, to see a sinner escape her clutches and laugh like nothing was wrong - Or worse, to laugh and knock down her subordinates straight from the sky like they were nothing more than bugs. As little as she cared about the fledglings on their first escapades, that was her hard work going to waste because the littles had no idea how to use their wings. 

And that just pissed her off all that much more.

The little exorcist you'd hucked from the top floor window was the furthest from your mind as your galavant around hell started again. She was a little spitfire, but nothing you hadn't ground into the dirt before and gotten away with. Even the array of cuts and slashes littering your body, courtesy of her spear, didn't mean anything beyond a harsh sting that would be gone within the next month. Yet nothing she did was permanent, which is why you didn't exactly pay attention to the screeching war cry of rage followed by a sharp twinge between your shoulder blades.

Which irked you, but not that much. You twisted your neck in an unnatural manner, bones creaking as your form bent in on itself, teeth fastening around the stab-happy angel's wing before wrenching her away from you. The machete she'd snagged from elsewhere remained buried just beneath your shoulder, you absentmindedly reminded yourself to remember it after this whole ordeal was over. Angelic steel was no good when left to fester in an open wound.

It could've been the same angel, probably was for all you knew. All their stripes looked the same, and plenty had horns curved back like hers (you had a collection of similar exorcist helmets lining your basement, and you still struggled to tell them apart when not labelled.)

But it was those eyes - They were different, or her mask was at least. You'd never seen obsidian glass carved with an 'x' like that marked over an eye, but there was something about it that was so alluring. It was shiny, unique, and belonged to an especially bloodthirsty angel, and you had what was probably the perfect spot to display it back in your den.

Greed made you strike out, grabbing at her helmet and tussling with the exorcist as the two of you fell to the ground. You may have had the size advantage, much, much larger than the lean figure writhing beneath you, but she was still incredibly strong. Her wings were annoying too, beating and kicking up dust that made your eyes water and ache, battering against your face and drawing a headache up, thrumming against the back of your skull. But you wanted that helmet more than anything, and she seemed extremely determined to keep it on.

The force of it all sent a splintering crack through the surface, shining a brilliant bright white like the threads of angelic steel melted and spilled like blood as one horn snapped clean off beneath your palm.

Those eyes.

They almost made you falter, as gold as angel blood. They were beautiful.

The exorcist, however, was not as thrilled.

She snarled, whipped her head around and sunk her teeth into whatever of your flesh she could reach.

It was more like a hell-kitten nipping at your skin, but you still flinched and let her go, watching as she slumped, cradling a crooked wing. A swelling of a certain emotion welled in your gut, something that made you feel small and achy and you absolutely hated it, but you couldn't do anything. Or, more aptly, you didn't want to do anything as you merely watched the exorcist flare her wings out, still beating strongly despite the fact one of them surely was broken.

The trumpets sounded. She made a rude gesture (many rude gestures, actually) before she grabbed the discarded weapon and the broken curve of her horn before disappearing back into the flock.

It was almost creepy, with the way your eyes watched her without blinking.

"You-"

"You!"

It was that time of year already.

The puffed-up exorcist looked angry, but no more than the last few times you'd seen her. You'd come to associate her venomous scowl, sharp wings and pointed spear as a sort've unique welcome between the two of you, in the same manner that your oversized overlord form bent out of proportion was a gratuity you reserved for your exorcist and your exorcist alone.

Because it was fun, and something you two did together.

"I want to try something," You mused out loud. The angel in front of you didn't respond to your remark, circling you like a severely ticked-off lion. You didn't expect her to, intently watching her as your neck kept twisting and twisting, bending like an owl.

Even with every muscle in her body tensed, she still wasn't prepared for how fast your strikes were. One and two, sharp against her chest as your hulking silhouette snapped and quashed itself into a far more humanoid one, the exorcist's favourite blade now held loosely between your hands. As if it would make her feel better, you kicked a machete, similar to the one she used in your first fight, toward her. Coated in crimson blood of sinners, yet still undoubtedly sharp.

"Here, now it's more of an even fight," You shrugged your shoulders, stancing up.

She scoffed.

"Is that really the best you can do?" She sneered, tapping her foot and folding her wings back high and proud. You quirked your eyebrow.

"Huh?" Your head tilted just a bit too far to be considered 'cute' or 'puppyish'. The exorcist grumbled.

"Your form. It's shit," She motioned with the tip of her blade. "Tuck your arms in, for fucks sake. No wonder your swings are so sloppy."

For once, you seem flustered and tried your hardest to follow her instructions. Heat swelled in her chest, almost like pride. But she would never be proud of someone like you.

"And speaking of, adjust your grip. Move your dominant hand up and your non-dominant hand down - For the love of anything holy, how can you be so shit with the bare basics!"

"Okay! Sorry!" You shifted your weight and tried to do as she told, almost forgetting where exactly you were. The exorcist only felt her grin grow more sadistic, watching how small you suddenly seemed in front of her, and how pathetic you were at actually using a weapon like a somewhat normal person.

It was sad.

(It reminded her of her bright-eyed, curious fledgling classes. All of them eager to learn about how to serve the lord above.)

"Like this?" You question, insane eyes almost reflecting the same eagerness of her students.

It was all wrong, but that was what she wanted.

"Ha. No."

This time she was the one covering the distance between you two with frightening speed, flinging herself forward with the momentum from her wings. The noise you made plucked at her heart, that startled screech clashing with the harsh sound of metal as you brought her own weapon up against her.

It was a brief moment of weakness, one quickly lost as you found your footing and started swinging. For how amateur your swings were, they were more than halfway decent compared to the littles fighting closer to the portal into Heaven. She could work with this, make it feel like you were actually a challenge instead of just another run-of-the-mill sinner.

She could see the way your eyes were glowing, looking all too content with yourself as you somehow matched her footwork and swordsmanship. You were a bit all over the place, but you were also incredibly smart - Picking up on her unique fighting style that not one other exorcist had, and you were doing it fast. Puffing up, almost preening.

"Aha! Now for some witty back-and-forth banter!" You declared out of nowhere, swings much more confident. She narrowed her eyes, infuriated. Just when she thought you were starting to take this whole thing seriously.

The exorcist remained eerily silent, not even puffs of exhausted breath or grunts with each collision of the blades.

"Huh, yeah, not really sure where to go with that?" You shrugged with the brief lull in fighting, darting backwards and sheathing your weapon with just a tad too much confidence for her taste.

Which, every part of this felt like a trap, but she trusted her own skills enough to not fall prey to the like of a sinner. Expertly, more than expertly, she matched those steps as you fell back, advancing, wings arced out as eyes aglow with holy fire.

Only for you to, once again, take her off-guard with your usual tactic. Darting forward, ducking under her blade and kicking her feet out from underneath her. She didn't make a sound but refused to go down with a fight and grabbed at the back of your outfit.

Her vision briefly went dark, the impact of something heavy crashing against her torso and knocking the wind right out of her. Her helmet cracked again, which was par for the course ever since she started brawling with you every extermination.

"Well, fancy meeting you here," Through the new crack in her helmet, she could almost perfectly make out your face. A bit too perfect, and way too close. Close enough to see her pale reflection in the dark of your eyes.

Your, admittedly, pretty eyes.

She felt like carving her own heart out rather than admitting she'd ever thought that in the first place.

"Get. Off. Me." She snarled. Meanwhile, stars practically glowed in your eyes.

"Oh wow! Dropping the 'Hellspawn' and 'Demon-scum'? Could this be love?" You were clearly joking, but her own heart decided to betray her thoughts, flipping in graceful arcs that she'd seen you perform one too many times.

She bit you again.

Five hours.

It had been five hours into the extermination.

With a ranking tally of two hundred and fifty or so demons, the exorcist figured she was fine to have a quick look around.

Because, through all this time, she'd seen neither hide nor hair of you. She didn't want to admit that she'd been loitering around your tower, knowing your tendency to throw yourself into the fray, dancing like you were tempting a lightning storm. She didn't want to admit that she'd been expecting to see your annoying face peering out at her from a nearby rooftop or to descend upon her like a leaping cat, or even to stroll up and start talking to her like the two of you were old friends. None of that happened.

The streets were rather empty, if you didn't take into account the blazing wrecks of cars, broken corpses and puddles of crimson blood puddling around the divets in sulphur roads. There were no moving, 'living' souls scurrying around, and that was what worried her.

Or, no. Not worried. She wasn't at all worried at the thought of you gutted somewhere, dying in a pool of your own blood, banished to the forever void that came after a second death. No, she was pissed at the thought that someone else had managed to kill you after all those years of the same cat-and-mouse dance. Or, more aptly, cat and fox dance. That honour was rightly hers, and she'd smite down any other exorcist that dared to stand in her way.

 In her way of killing you. Yes.

The exorcist pinned back her wings, sheathing her weapon and scuffing her boot against brimstone in annoyance. This was bullshit.

There was no fun in the exterminations without your jeering taunts, or odd remarks, your instance of fighting absolutely everyone you saw. Along with the annoyance of you ditching her mid-battle to rip feathers from one of her cohorts, along with a certain warmth she felt when you came bounding back towards her, bloodlust in your eyes and that same weapon you'd stolen from her all those years back pointed directly at her.

The angel only stopped once her boot stepped in liquid gold. It rippled, her thoughtful reflection mirrored and shimmering on its surface. Amber ichor, melding into the red from a nearby puddle, the mingling of sinner and winner blood alike.

What was the chance? She reasoned. But only one demon so far had managed to draw blood from an exorcist.

With a set snarl, she followed the trail. Her bootsteps were the only sound ricocheting around the dinky alley she found herself tracing.

"Oh, it's you..." She almost jumped out of her boots at the sound of your voice. Although, it didn't sound like you, per se. It was croaky and weak, dull and mild-mannered to put it lightly.

You were resting against a brick wall, clutching your front, eyes dimmed in the bright light. Squinting, as if a headache was plaguing your every thought.

Beside you, one of her cohorts rested too. Not dead, but her mask was all but shattered, one of her wings horribly ripped. She wasn't sure if she'd ever fly properly again.

But, you were not dead! Which was good news, because it meant she would be the one to finally slit your throat and watch the light drain from your eyes. And you knew it too, with the way your head kept tilted in her direction, a thoughtful twinkle in your eye.

"So, how's your day been?" Still playful, still joking. It was definitely you.

She scoffed.

"How's the blood loss?" She quipped back, the first she'd ever done so. Properly, at least. You laughed wetly, gagging on your own blood. Even she couldn't help but chuckle, dragging the tip of her weapon up until it rested gently over your heart.

Your laughter died down. Her hand was shaking.

Everything around you was quiet, like the two of you were submerged in a solid bubble of silence. Your ragged breathing was the only sound above a whisper, wet and ragged.

"Can I see your face?" Your voice was as soft as she'd ever heard it. Genuine.

She hummed, quirking a single brow. Not that you could see, because of her helm.

"Why would I do that?" She'd meant for it to sound more venomous. It didn't. You tried your hardest to shrug your shoulders, wincing in pain.

"Well," You sucked in a pained breath, "if I have to die here, the last thing I'd like to see is your face." Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, smudging the whorls of gold and red blood alike as they dribbled down your cheeks.

Something within her snapped. Dead. Death. A future forever without you. If she'd thought today's extermination had been boring without you, she couldn't even imagine any more.

That's what she told herself, anyway. A future without you was not one she wanted to live, for any reason.

The clank of angelic steel broke the atmosphere, harsh against the bloody floor. Fingers fuzzy and numbed, clasping as the latches that kept her exorcist helmet together. One flick, then another, a sharp snap. Dark obsidian peeled away, horns lifted till a silver-sharp face so out of place in the depths of hell appeared.

"I was right," You croaked. "You are... Pretty woman."

You devolved into another flurry of hacking coughs. The angel felt her feathers flare up, alarmed.

"Yeah, yeah," You waved her off, "don't show weakness or whatever, thanks lieutenant." Your chest crackled painfully as you just regained some unneeded breaths. The angel in front of you stumbled, anxiously padding forward as her boots clacked against the ground.

"Look, I can die happy now. Was fun fighting against you - Really fun, actually. And look! You finally came out on top this time, eh?" You tried to wink, you really did. It just didn't have the same effect when you were bleeding out in front of her. Which made her stomach drop and her adrenaline spike.

'This goes against everything I've ever done' She squinted, furrowing her brow. Gold eyes almost glowed like hot iron, fingers clasped firmly against the hem of her outfit. 'But, y'know, I could always say I was just trying to save my flockmate.'

And she tugged.

Her shirt ripped, the sound harsh against your ears, but it left her with a hefty chunk of fabric that slid against her chainmail gloves. The Lord would smite her down if he ever found out about this, but chances are, in the belly of hell, it would be a secret between only the two of you.

Hours ticked onwards, slipping through her fingers far too quickly. She was just lucky you were as strong as you were, holding on to your consciousness with all your might as she worked her magic. Stuff the wound, stop the bleeding, heal and hope to everything that was holy that angelic magic didn't sear your flesh the same way their steel did.

Of course, you being you, airy quips were thrown around, keeping the air light as your wound slowly healed. It was nasty, there was no doubt about that, your first permanent scar. But at least this way, you'd make it out with your life.

"How did you even let her catch you off guard?" She questioned you after hours of silence.

"I'll be honest, I thought she was you based on her footsteps," You sighed, exhaling softly as she tugged at your makeshift bandages. You got no proper response outside of her light scoff. Somehow, that still made you burn hot with shame.

In perfect unison, the two of you looked out to the horizon. Golden light spilled down from heaven, the portal slowly growing more and more, ripping open a way back to their holy home. Six minutes till the trumpets would sound, if you had to guess. The angel tutted, disapproving of the way time worked. The thought was enough to make you crack a smile.

"I have to go," She seemed hesitant.

"I'll be fine," Even if hoisting yourself to your feet almost made you black out, lugging yourself back to your tower shouldn't have been a big problem when you could literally see one of the back entrances.

That didn't ease her thoughts. She was thinking, mind ticking away as she thought and thought and thought. She kept thinking, until she slowly reached up and snagged a rounded, down-fluff feather from her puffed-up shoulder. Pristine and warm to the touch, it washed away the blood as she carefully placed it into your shaking palm.

No words were shared between you as she rested you against the wall, letting you steady yourself and she hoisted her fellow exorcist onto her shoulders. After helping her shimmy back into her iconic helmet, she glanced backwards at you before stepping toward the light.

"You better not die before I can kill you." Her words were soft, unlike her sharp exterior. You could only match the assumed small, hidden smile. With a hum, you felt only a single name come to mind.

"Yeah, course I won't Lute."

Rules + Info,

Masterlist,

[ae-neon]

Okay, ramble about Feyris (part 1?)

Please keep in mind that this idea isn't tailored to your or sjms versions of the characters but more the concepts and themes of the books as well as what would have made for a more sensible and cohesive work (imo)

The concept of acomaf as a whole was the transformation of Feyre as well as the "reveal" of Rhysand's character. I say reveal tho I think it was also more of a transformation, because we're gonna respect what the work was TRYING to do

Eris actually has the better set-up for an enemies to lovers, villain is misunderstood, villain wins etc arc

Whatever fans might say, TAR is still the first installment of the series. It matters.

And while Rhysand himself is pretty well established as one of the main characters, he plays an awkward role - a complex, morally ambiguous character caught up in a very black and white plot. In terms of worldbuilding the night court is not given much and almost everything Rhysand does is retconned later anyway. He's interesting, yes, but it's almost painfully obvious that sjm had a change of heart halfway and a lot of the plot is retroactively built around him being endgame

Eris is not in TAR or at least appears very minimally (it's been years, forgive me) but the strings that might later connect him to Feyre are very solidly established in book 1 : her friendship with Lucien, her being helped utm by LoA and Beron being the first to offer his power to revive her. Even her being with Tamlin but I'll come back to that.

One of my personal gripes with the standard romantasy couple where the FMC is introduced to a new world is that she is socially cocooned, which diminishes her as a character. And yes, Feyre has her sisters and for 0.5 points out of 10, I'll count Isaac Hale but her parents, her village, her whole fucking country go unnamed. The worldbuilding around her is almost nonexistent. So her having these connections to Eris, through these third parties, creates a social web that while not completely isolated from him, still BELONGS TO HER. the connections she forms with these people might be influenced by him but they are established outside of him

The same cannot be said from the IC and Rhysand which is why it's sad but unsurprising they betray her to her possible death. They BELONG TO HIM and no amount of boozed up Christmas montages is gonna change that.

And mind you I said Eris had the better SET-UP and that Rhysand would have benefitted from being in the book less. The set-up being that Feyre's best Fae Friend Forever, Lucien - someone the audience won't question and feels for - vouches that his brother is a power hungry monster. Eris as the endgame would leave MAF more room to explore because we are still setting him up as a villain AND subverting that with Moments™ or inconsistencies, interactions etc

Whereas in canon, halfway through TAR Rhysand shows up to the party and immediately reveals he isn't "actually" evil - which disqualifies MAF from the Villain Wins AND slow burn categories. Their romance is also immediately hinted at by the flirting and Rhysand's YOURE MY MATE 😱 moment at the end so it's not like we even enter MAF with any real guesses on what's gonna happen. By WAR all the tension in the series sits on Nessian moments, the idea that something might happen to Feyre in Spring and the hope/dread that one of the IC might die. None of those things happened btw. WAR was anti-climactic trash

But Imagine WAR including some autumn scheming, hinged on Eris betraying Beron in the thick of the war and getting away with it, or setting up his brothers to die in a way that didn't implicate him so his mom wouldn't hate him - all this while Feyris is still in their will they won't they stage

And like I said in the other post Eris unlike Rhysand actually has the material conditions necessary to create and maintain this Mask of cruelty. He is under the thumb of his father, he cannot trust his brothers, he does not want to lose his mother, the place where he lives is not some locked away liberal paradise but a cutthroat and ruthless Court - making a pawn out of then falling in love with The Cursebreaker™ on top of all of that would be INTERESTING and stressful

Rhysand post TAR is just fucking around?? Every plan he has is objectively stupid because he creates his own hurdles?? and fails?? which retroactively kills his mysterious scheming mastermind vibe. Most powerful HL and can't even get an artifact from his own subject, MIND YOU HES A DAEMATI!! Oh but let Keir say whore and suddenly it's easy to control him, SHUT THE FU-

ANYWAYS

Imagine part of MAF or WAR being Feyre and Lucien deepening their friendship because she bridged the divide between the first and last born Vanserras? That's meaningful character content for all three. Not like a 4 page coming out to a girl you've known for 6 months because you apparently can't trust your "family" of 500 years...

Rounding this back to Tamlin, sorry but the Spring vs Night family feud is boring and I don't care about it because we don't know anyone involved. Oh his nameless, faceless mom and sister died? Oh...😕 Well...

But with the Lucien, Jesminda, Vanserra bros etc we at least have Lucien who is alive and BOTH THE AUDIENCE AND FEYRE care about independently from Eris

That would make Feyre trusting Eris so much more of a risk and maybe even an initial betrayal to Lucien - putting her friendship at risk. REAL STAKES, REAL WEIGHT BEHIND HER DECISIONS

The Vanserras relationships are also a good parallel for the complicated feelings Feyre has about her own family, which would help her dark maga moment feeling like she belongs in Autumn and not Spring feel more organic and rooted in her character and worldbuilding rather than just switching aesthetics to fit in with her love interest

*

ADD and tiredness kicking in but I think I'll post about them again sometime soon

[elizabeth-mitchells]

fuck your bland and boring "love interests" and "love triangles" and "random white boys" the truth is that the entire season was leading up to That Hug™ as the most emotional moment of the show, Enid wolfing out to protect Wednesday was the biggest romantic act, Wednesday and Enid's relationship was a thousand times better than whatever those two guys were doing there the entire time, and if there was ever a love triangle it was Wednesday going best friends to lovers with Enid or enemies to lovers with Bianca

[imbecominggayer]

How To Write A Deconstruction!

And a subversion. And aversions as well since I am here to get clicks baby!

Hi, Small-Time Tumblr User™ here to tell you how to write different types of twists and turns in your tropes. Remember, just because it's new doesn't mean it's interesting or compelling. Tropes are exceedingly important so don't get all arrogant and pretentious here

Formatting wise, i'm going to go from aversion to subversion and then to deconstruction!

Aversion

Aversions are exceedingly simple so that's what we are starting with first!

The definition of aversion is when a writer makes the conscious decision to not include an expectation of the genre within a story.

A subversion is where the writer literally "subverts our expectations," while an aversion is where the writer completely avoids them from the get-go .

Aversions are rarely ever mentioned because there are thousands of tropes within a genre that just avoiding one is rarely unique. For example, romance without enemies to lovers is an aversion but not a notable one.

It also doesn't count when the expectation for a trope isn't there. A sci-fi story lacking in magic isn't an aversion because magic isn't expected in a sci-fi story!

Aversions tends to be only mentioned when the trope is so ubiquitous in a genre that's lack is a huge surprise. For example, a sci-fi work in space where there is genuinely no noise in space.

This section, as you can guess, was less about writing advice and more about dismissing buzzwords you hear

Subversion

A subversion is where the expectation for a trope is set up within the actual story but is avoided.

Subversions are a common tool in comedic scenarios since comedy is all about the playing with expectations! You can't have a joke if everything that happens was expected to happen.

For example, a "violent" horror movie where nobody dies is a subversion because all the attacking sets up the belief that one of these characters are gonna die BUT they don't!

Deconstruction

Deconstruction is the entire foundation of a story involving a close analysis of a concept to reveal the inherent instability and contradictorary subjectivity of itself.

A common and "easy" way to deconstruction is to ask how the trope would fare in the real world and the consequences associated with the trope. Think about the politics of weird fantasy cultures! Actually try to understand how being the depressed girl hiding her despression with pluckiness isn't just an interesting reveal but an actually serious thing

Despite the belief that deconstructions are inherently cynical, darker, edgier, and sadder overall, there is no reason they have to be. Stories can also be explored with an idealistic worldview with neither the cynical or the idealistic perspective being incorrect or worse than the other.

The most important part of a deconstruction is the reconstruction. The ability to take apart a story is meaningless if you are unable to offer realistic advice for improvement. This improvement could be applying more nuance to character development, diversifying in terms of perspective and who gets to tell their story, or by giving more gravity to a character's traits.

[zoiched]

some words on my Pathologic/Amnesia crossover

Those who follow me or have seen my art in Amnesia hashtag may have seen me mentioning that I’m writing an Amnesia and Pathologic crossover fanfic, buuuut a) now it’s on hiatus cuz I’m kinda confused with my own ✨philosophical and psychological✨ thoughts that i want to fit in the narrative; b) I’m Russian, and, therefore, I’m writing in Russian so English-speaking community most likely will have no chance to read this fic even I’ll finish it someday (unless Google translate will happen lol). So I want to share some thoughts on the stuff I created in my head and in my Google docs just in case cuz I find them kinda interesting and am sorta proud with myself. So here we go

• There are Daniel, Weyer and Agrippa’s homeworld, Zerzura (Alexander’s homeworld) and also world where Pathologic events take place. Not only that, there’s a countless amount of parallel worlds (I stole borrowed this concept from His Dark Materials book triology by Philip Pullman). And yes, Zerzurians abducted humans for vitae from many, many different worlds but the world of Amnesia

• Weyer and Alexander’s love have a bromance, but she ended up dying in fire of apocalypse on Zerzura nonetheless

• Weyer was escaping apocalypse on Zerzura and opened the portal aiming to his and Agrippa’s homeworld, but due to the portal malfunction he ended up landing in Town-on-Gorkhon, meet Simon and other Kains, told them about Spheres and all that. Kains know everything but keep it totally top secret cuz, well, god knows what gonna happen if regular people will know. Weyer didn’t stay in ToG for long and moved to the capital (aka St. Petersburg) and started a medic career

• Weyer is one of the people who are responsible for Thanatica’s shutdown because he a) is sorta afraid that Dankovsky will reinvent Vitae; b) has been in Zerzura for a long time and knows perfectly how obtining an immortality can spoil the society to the point of no return leading to the apocalypse

• My fic which starts right after the Agrippa ending. Him and Weyer take Daniel to ToG to teach him the arts of owning the Sphere where no prying eyes of the ordinary world (and also of the Powers that Be). Kains are willing to help with the process. Yes, Daniel is obligated to learn Russian

• Sphere gives Daniel some kind of clairvoyance ability, and, as we know from TDD, he knows how to cut the lines™, which makes him kinda close to menkhu (but not the actual menkhu, because he is, well, not from the Kin)

• A lot of jokes about Daniel and Daniil basically sharing the same name

• Alexander will be resurrected - not by Thanatica but by Daniel taking his body and consciousness from the trap of The Shadow that has a smol dimension that is very much like hell for those who used Sphere for Bad Things

• Daniel takes a test in the Abattoir jumping to this huge pit only to meet Elise Zimmerman’s ghost and to ask for her forgiveness

• Oh and there’s also my OC Ariadne, a Zerzurian who got away from the apocalypse with Weyer. I ship her with Daniel and they have from enemies to friends to lovers dynamic

I hope you’ll find this stuff interesting

[markantonys]

ironically enough, i watched it last night and even though i'm not a racing fan, i loved it!! it was a lot of fun and had me rooting for jann the whole time

and yes, josha as nick was amazing!! he had only like half a dozen scenes, but he killed it (and looked good every second) he and jann were so enemies-to-lovers coded, i wished we'd seen them interact more

oh nice!!!! yeah i'm in the same boat, i know nothing about racing and have no interest in it (i don't even like doing regular driving lmao rip) but i loved the movie! jann was such a great protagonist, i love him <3

watching josha play a villain was so much fun, i'd love him to do more roles like that! seconded on wishing they'd done more with the Rivalry™, their handful of interactions were top notch but i wanted MORE. that moment when jann was like "you could've killed me and yourself" just floored me with how he is so Good that he's also worried about NICK getting hurt by his own bullshit. also a very good moment of grabbing your rival by the shirt and getting all up in his face to yell at him, u know how it is. they should make out about it, not least because jack's live slug reaction to them dating would be the funniest thing in the entire world dkjdjkfjg

[emkini]

heyy I read towards the sun the other day bc I saw you mention it and it fucked. so ty!!!! if you feel like it, do you have other atla recs? 👀

Ohohoh do I

Notes:

I tend to be primarily a zuko-centric gen fic enjoyer in the atla fandom so that's what most of these are gonna be!

Pretty much every author on this list has a bunch of stellar works and I'd recommend checking out all of their ao3 profiles, but these are just some of my personal favorites!

I've been having a Rough Time™ lately, so most of my faves fall on the soft and squishy side– if you're looking for heavy angst I do not have much of it 😔

-----------

Salvage (complete) by @muffinlance is by the same author as Towards The Sun and a fandom classic at this point; I cannot recommend it enough. Summary: Mid-Season-One Zuko is held for ransom by Chief Hakoda. Ozai's replies to the Water Tribe's demands are A+ Parenting. Hakoda is… deeply concerned, for this son that isn't his, and who might be safer among enemies than with his own father.

The Fire Nation Yacht Club series (reads as complete) by @sword-and-stars gives me all the emotions. Summary: Sokka knows three (3) things: 1. The caldera is on fire. 2. Ozai’s really, really dead (and so is his daughter). 3. The only one having a worse day is probably Zuko. / Everyone has their breaking point. This is what happens after you’ve broken. In which healing is a process and also it kind of sucks.

For Hearth and Home (complete) is another classic fic by the same author (honestly just check out all of their work, it's all stellar) that I absolutely adore. Summary: There’s a child underneath Fire Lord Zuko’s desk. He doesn’t realize this until he sits down and tiny hands wrap themselves around his ankles, and Fire Lord Zuko definitely does not shriek and backpedal away at the unexpected touch. He definitely does do that but Gou, the single guard he’s agreed to let shadow him, is kind enough not to mention it.

Mountains and Badgermolehills (complete) by Glass_Onion is an incredibly fun and well-written romp of a read. Summary: After the Blue Spirit frees the Avatar from the Pohuai Stronghold, Admiral Zhao captures Prince Zuko under suspicion of treason. Isolated from his Uncle and his crew, Zuko has only one ally: the chatty prisoner one cell over.

The Art of Burning (incomplete, ongoing) by @hella1975 is superb- lots of angst, lots of emotions, and lots of memes. Summary (excerpt): In a warring land, the Water Tribe forgave the enemy in an act of defiance. For this, he was torn from them, and this time, his wounds won't heal so easily.

Embers (complete) by Vathara is another fandom classic– one I have not yet been able to finish because dear god is it long. like holy shit. Very dense and plot-heavy and an incredible read if you're a lover of worldbuilding and fantasy politics. Summary: Dragon's fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world...

where the stars do not take sides (complete) by WitchofEndor is a very sweet and interesting canon divergence fic, and of course as always I am a SUCKER for the fire siblings being close. Such a sucker. Summary: When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them. Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.

Honor & Vengeance on the High Seas (complete) by @paramouradrift is a very fun read– I haven't finished it yet but if you love boats, pirate Zuko, and angry teenagers being gay and doing crime, I guarantee you'll have a good time. Summary: Zuko was banished, but instead of devoting his life to finding the Avatar to regain his honor he gave in to his spite and became a pirate against Ozai.

And the world, still so wild, called to me (I was lost, I’d been kept on my knees) (complete) by delightfullydiscordant– An Aang-centric fic that hurts my HEART Summary (excerpt): A study in grief and loss, in anger and hate.

a viper-lizard's tales (incomplete, ongoing) by Yumi_Take is really sweet and very fun; it has a simple but unique and interesting prose style that I really like. Summary: The desert sun burns and Zuko probably shouldn't touch the moving cloth, but he does anyway.

[sanakiras]

LIAR, LIAR! [TEASER]

PAIRING — kim mingyu x reader

WORD COUNT — 1.4k (full fic will be 20k+)

RELEASE DATE — TBA, will probably take a while!

SYNOPSIS — in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessman’s very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill — and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.

TAGS — murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, dark comedy if u ask me, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctional™, mentions of suicide, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst

♪ aquartos - crystal city,, verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex

NOTE — one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyu’s role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. enjoy :D

i. TWO WEEKS SINCE THE MURDER

the interrogation room is unnecessarily bright, the noise of the water dispenser in the corner and the flickering led light above you running through your ears. the chair you’re seated on is uncomfortable, though it’s nothing compared to the tension you feel as the man in front of you treats you like you’re guilty of something.

“on september 2nd, sometime around six o’clock, your father reportedly got unwell, so he left his office early, choosing to do the rest of his paperwork at home. according to the information we got from the gps tracker in his car, he went straight home, took no detours. he arrived at your family estate thirty minutes later. then at eight o’clock, the police received a call from you, saying your father’s hung himself.”

you stare at the the inspector whose name you did not bother remembering before waving with your hand. “i’m aware. i’ve heard the recap of events many times at this point. this isn’t the first time i’m being interrogated, surprisingly enough.”

with a puzzled look, he raises his brow at you. “you don’t think you should be a suspect?”

“no, i don’t.”

“at the time of the incident, you were home, as well as two members of the staff. since the staff were on their dinner break and you were apparently in your room, it’s hard to say what happened, since there were no witnesses.”

“do you mind me asking why you think it’s murder and not just a suicide?”

he’s intrigued by the way you discuss the topic so casually. “your father was an important man. wouldn’t you want to know who killed him if that is the case?”

“sure. i’d thank them.” you smile at him, the hatred for your father shining through. “believe me, inspector — my father was a miserable man who surrounded himself with other miserable people. i wasn’t there by choice.”

“did he treat you badly, then?” he continues, trying to pry any information out of you.

you can only sigh. “i was his daughter by blood only. that’s all.”

with your demeanor softening into something sadder, the inspector’s tone changes into something different. “aside from you, and the staff, of course, we do have another suspect who we think could have something to do with your father’s death.”

that sparks your interest. “who?”

the inspector grabs his small pile of documents to pull a printed photo out of it, putting it before you. you visibly frown, because the person on the photo is someone you’re unfortunately awfully familiar with.

“kim mingyu is a suspect? seriously?” you ask, completely in shock. ironically, he’s the last person you’d suspect in a scenario like the one you currently find yourself in.

“what can you tell me about him?”

“he’s a year younger than me. we went to the same high school, same university, have some of the same friends. though all of that is relatively common in our social circle.”

“anything else?”

keeping the insults to yourself for now, you press your lips together. “our parents are good friends. well, were, now that my father’s gone. mingyu and i hate eachother to the bone, though.”

“any particular reason why?”

“i’m not sure where it started… there’s just something off about him. it’s always been there. he’s—beyond arrogant. always showing off his looks, his wealth, his charm, his intelligence. everything. he insults me, i insult him. we simply don’t get along, never have. nothing you haven’t seen before, i’m sure.”

the inspector raises his brow. “i think you may have left something out.”

“such as?”

his hand moves into the blue folder sitting on the table, taking another photo out of it, holding it up before you. “your father was often spotted with him. at events, business meetings — you name it. matter of fact, your father seemed to be accompanied by kim mingyu more than anyone else. which is interesting, considering you are his only child.”

your gaze turns sour, voice softer yet more hateful than before. “don’t tell me this is the reason i’m a suspect.”

“let’s just say it doesn’t make you look good.”

“you really believe i murdered my own father in cold blood because he cared more about kim mingyu than he ever did about me? that’s pathetic and ridiculous.”

“you wouldn’t be the first. it’s a plausible story.”

scoffing at the accusation, you shake your head. “we’re done here. the moment you have an actual lead, i’ll talk, but not like this. i’m still here grieving and you’re accusing me of being the culprit.” you get up in anger, taking your bag with you before slamming the door shut, not bothering to listen to what the man is trying to tell you to make you stay.

this whole shit-train started two weeks ago. your father was found dead in your childhood home, hung by a rope around his neck. instead of calling it a death by suicide, the police apparently have enough reason to suspect it was a homicide.

you’ve been questioned several times in the past few weeks, but there’s been a gradual shift in the behavior of the inspector and his handimen — they’re treating you like a suspect now.

which you are, for whatever reason. they have yet to come up with any actual evidence.

your contact in the police force mentioned to you that you’re not just any suspect — you’re one of the two main suspects.

and that is unsettling, especially when you discovered who else is.

as you go down the hall, you suddenly lock eyes with kim mingyu himself, who’s leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. a few strands of hair hover by his cheeks, framing his strong features.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” you ask in a rather hostile manner, the scowl on your face deepening.

his lips part before he starts explaining. “they wanted to talk to me. again.”

“haven’t you heard the rumors, gyu?” you mockingly use the nickname, taking a step closer to him, “they’re saying there’s a possibility you killed him.”

your arch-nemesis looks back at you with a furrowed brow. “that’s ridiculous.”

“is it? you were always with him… it’s perhaps the only thing that makes sense in all of this.”

he seems offended you’d even insinuate something like that. “it’s really the other way around, though. you’re the one who hated him. i had nothing against the man.”

it’s true that you and your father didn’t exactly get along, especially the past few years, to put it lightly. you always considered him to be greedy, cold and unforgiving, and you certainly didn’t cry the moment they told you he had passed away.

“no, we all know how much you liked him,” you hardly make an effort to hide your disdain, “but they must not believe that, considering you’re just as much of a suspect as i am.”

he clenches his jaw. “i’m not guilty.”

“neither am i.”

it’s quiet for a moment as you’re both unsure of what to say next, a rarity between you.

a few years ago, your father mentioned you and mingyu could make a good pair. you proceeded to laugh in his face.

mingyu is a constant reminder of what you could be, and that’s the last thing you need in your life.

“if i find out you’re somehow involved in this—”

instead of immediately refuting the statement, he narrows his eyes at you. “then what?”

you realize you need to be careful with your words here — you can’t throw around threats to kill people as the top suspect in a murder investigation. “i’ll make sure you pay for it. they might buy your little golden-boy act, but i sure as shit don’t. i never have.”

a smirk subtly tugs at his lips as he leans more down, eyes flicking lower before they meet yours again. “i’d be careful with my words if i were you,” he firmly tells you, his lashes fluttering, “there’s always someone watching.”

only now do you take notice of how close you’re standing to him, and you look behind you, seeing the inspector that just interrogated you observing you and mingyu from a distance.

so you push yourself away from him, giving him a last glare before walking away.

mingyu’s eyes remain on you until you move past the corner. he only moves from his spot once you’re gone from his field of view, greeting the inspector with a kind smile.

if you’d like to be tagged in this once it’s released, leave a comment! <3

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[winfleure]

been obsessed w/ different types of worldbuilding so if you’re a certified™ yapper who likes to worldbuild, headcanon, make boards & playlists & gush abt ur chars & ships like me, hmu !!! under the cut is more info abt me & my style !! also many options can be combined too !!

general plots:

medieval / modern/slice of life fantasy (ex. frieren, the hobbit, etc.)

supernatural (can be integrated w/ human society or just their own)

mythology (reincarnated?)

bands/musicians/actors/influencers/celebs universe

crime/mafia/assassins/corruption universe

(slice of life) utopian/dystopian/cyberpunk/sci-fi/horror-esque apocalypse

murder mystery-inspired universe!!! (ex. only murders in the building, clue)

traveling circus troupe! (modern or historical/supernatural) (ex. cirque du soleil)

fandom settings:

pokemon setting

hp/hogwarts-golden trio setting (anti j.k.r)

one piece setting

genshin impact setting

boku no hero / my hero academia academia setting

manhwa webcomics setting (esp. isekai, superpowers, climbing the tower subgenre)

iyashikei/slice of life genre (ex. aria the animation, yokohama shopping log)

hiya! i’m VI! 25+, s/her, pst! i’m looking for 21+ (prefer 23+) long-term discord rpers who are interested in writing queer & possibly mature rps! if interested, pls do like this message, reply to me and/or dm me (either here or discord - eboyzoro / i'm more active on discord). open to ongoing partners & new partners raHHH ^3^

rating: 3/3/3

some genres i enjoy are: action, adventure, alternative universe, apocalypse, bands/celebrities, comedy, crime, detective, fairytales, fandom, fantasy, horror, magical, mystery, romance, cyberpunk/science fiction, slice of life, soulmates, superpowers, supernatural, thriller & more

some dynamics i enjoy: familial, platonic, romantic, sexual, antagonistic // friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, roommates/coworkers to lovers, enemies/rivals to lovers // angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn & nsfw (w/ plot ofc!) i have some ❌ no banned faces except for the regular criteria (ask if unsure!) also not into, noncon, incest, physical abuse, pregnancy but i am 👌 with: cnc/cdc, toxic relationships, power imbalances, and (short-medium) age gaps

faces: have premade ocs on rotation but open to creating more! most the fcs i use are musician/kidol fcs but i also use actor fcs as well!

shipping: m/m & f/f only! prefer to double up but not necessary

open to: ocs, canons and crossovers! also open to animanga faces as long as they have a real face counterpart! additionally i'm open to animanga oc x oc queer romantic/sexual and/or platonic/familial/antagonistic (any pairing) plots!

i enjoy: * talking & yapping & being friends ooc !! headcanons, char/ship dev, worldbuilding, pinterest/spotify, fun tingz

activity: relaxed/low/sporadic, energy/time dependent, hours to weeks but i'll let you know if i'm not feeling a thread/plot anymore

plotting style: * mutual !! plotting/brainstorming

writing style: 50-300+ wc, 3rd person, past/present tense

discord style: i use private servers & tupperbox, i use bold+italics for text formatting, i dont use gifs but idm if u do

* i want us BOTH to be engaged / interested ooc & ic otherwise i lose muse / interest in our rps, sawry yall but this is absolute for me!

[gonnabesounwellaboutit]

looking for blogs to follow :)

started a new blog to find some accounts with similar interests!

about me: born in the 90s, she/her, eldest daughter™, arts dabbler, domestic partnered up, cat lover

Here are some of my interests I’m hoping to find blogs about:

Otome Games (played: even if TEMPEST, Collar x Malice, Bustafellows, Olympia Soiree, Cupid Parasite) Jujutsu Kaisen (faves: megumi, gojo, choso, toji, nanami … gege is evil) Spy x Family (i <3 the forgers) Castlevania (the throuple, isaac, hector) Tears of Themis (vyn, my love) Love and Deepspace (all!!! but maybe zayne biased slightly) What We Do in the Shadows (movie & show) Folk of the Air (jurdan always) Comics (love fantasy & romance, Purple Hyacinth, Stray Souls, I Love Yoo, Unholy Blood, Children of the Night, My Happy Marriage, many many more…) Studio Ghibli (can do no wrong) Obey Me (very casual player, love Beel, Dia, Satan, Belphie, Solomon, Barbatos) Horimiya (so sweet it made me cry) Enemies to Lovers/Slowburn/Angst (self explanatory) Star Wars (begrudgingly, anakin, ben solo) Art (i love seeing peoples ocs, fan art, just straight up pretty people, tender moments) Genshin (very casual player) Our Life (cove I will always love you - and your dad) Degrees of Lewdity (bound to syndey - ask me for my DoL sideblog)

if we have overlap i’d love to follow you!

i’d prefer not to follow any accts who are going to go out of their way to hate on other shippers (valid critique without being mean is fine, but i’m pretty ‘ship and let ship’ - i’m not here for anti discourse), i don’t want to follow any minors, don’t want to follow any terfs

preemptive content notice: i may on occasion reblog nsfw content

[adhd-merlin]

Rarepair fave is def Merdred, those mfs had Vibes™ that were just.... Something else. Like, they needed to be locked in a room so they could either talk it out, fight it out, or fuck it out. Something. Anything. Because I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot! Another sorcerer that's actually on his side, actively helping him! Tbh, I think he liked him in canon, even though he didn't want to, which just adds to the Angst of them.

Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.

And for a fic rec: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25627360 (it is smut, but there are also feels, and it's Mordred POV)

FINALLY! THANK YOU!

I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot!

He did like him! He said it himself!

GAIUS: If Mordred wished Arthur ill, he has had ample opportunity to do so. He's a likeable boy, Merlin. MERLIN: I know. I like him myself, but I can't ignore what I saw. — From The Disir, Ep 5x05

That's what makes it tragic, they could get on, they could be friends, they actually have much in common — but Merlin can't afford to get close to Mordred because of what he knows/thinks Mordred's going to do.

Here's my thoughts about this ship:

Arguments in favour:

• ENEMIES TO LOVERS

• the delicate balance of power: Alex and Colin go on quite a bit about Mordred and Merlin's relationship in the commentary to ep 5x02. Mordred technically outranks Merlin, given he's a knight and Merlin is just a servant, but also Merlin is Emrys and, as a Druid, Mordred is aware (and likely in awe) of his role and power. And they are both the unwilling keeper of the other's secret, as they both have to hide their magic in Camelot. It makes for an interesting dynamic.

• Like I said, it's tragic that Merlin had to keep Mordred at arm's length (emotionally) because they had some common ground: they both loved Arthur — I mean they both cared about him, and they both had faith in him. Mordred believed that Arthur would bring about a golden age just as much as Merlin did! They both yearned for peace, and they both had to stain their hands with blood to survive. They both had to go through so much trauma.

KARA: You're a knight. MORDRED: That doesn't matter. KARA: Of Camelot. Why, Mordred? MORDRED: Arthur is a good man. KARA: I can't believe you'd say that. MORDRED: You don't know him. — From The Drawing of the Dark, Ep 5x11

• As with Sefa, I think Merlin could benefit from having a Druid partner.

• Merlin glaring at Mordred is pretty hot. He also gets slammed into a wall by him which, again. Pretty hot.

• They could literally mind-fuck each oth— [gunshot sound]

Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.

Both great scenes! I love all the scenes they have together, I think. The way Mordred always looks and sounds vaguely menacing without doing or saying anything outright evil. They way he is desperate for Merlin's approval :(

My favourite Merlin & Mordred scene has to be the one from episode 5x05 (The Disir).

MERLIN: It won't always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again. MORDRED: You really believe that? MERLIN: I do. Beat. They both look down at the grave. MORDRED: Until then, we go unmarked in death as in life. — From The Disir, Ep 5x05

It's a rare moment of bonding between them. Mordred appeals to their shared nature ("he was one of us") and, for once, Merlin puts down his defences. He offers Mordred a few words of comfort ("It won't always be like this"). And then Mordred hits him with that fucking PROFOUND line and Merlin doesn't know what to do with it.

This is not the horrible future-murderer he's made Mordred up to be in his head. This is a boy with hope in his eyes and kindness in his heart (still). It speaks so much of what they could have been if destiny hadn't got in the way. (I've also gone on about Merlin's complicated relationship with other magic folks in another post. Yes, I have many feelings about it).

I love that scene from ep 5x11, too, ("Everything I do, you think the worst") — probably my second favourite scene with these two.

It starts out with Merlin being so confrontational and aggressive, but it ends with Merlin deciding to trust Mordred, for once. Perhaps reluctantly, but he does.

It's tragic that he seems to open up to Mordred when it's too late. I've touched on before on why I think it is that it happens at this moment. Merlin has literally been in Mordred's position. In fact, some of the dialogue in this scene echoes Merlin and Gaius's confrontation in ep 2x09, when Merlin was ready to run away with Freya.

If that wasn't clear enough, we also have Mordred asking Merlin directly:

Tell me you wouldn't do the same for the woman you love.

But of course Merlin would. He has. Well, he's tried to.

But again, because of what he knows about Mordred, Merlin can't let Mordred escape, even though he gets what he's trying to do, and doesn't blame him for trying.

I also like when Mordred angrily confronts Merlin later in the same episode. His outburst shows how he is well aware of how unfairly Merlin has been treating him, and although he's been remarkably chill about it up until now, it doesn't mean he's not angry and resentful about it. He may not show his emotions much, but he's not unfeeling.

"You did it because you hate me", he says, and "This time you've gone too far!"

THIS IS A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH. It's also a reminder of how much Mordred has been putting up with — for all he knows, Merlin hates him for no good reason. I think it says something about Mordred's nature that he only truly snaps when Merlin's meddling threatens the person he loves. MY STABBY CHILD IS FULL OF LOVE OKAY

I just think they have such an interesting dynamic!

I can see why they wouldn't be a super popular pairing, given Merlin's attitude to Mordred in the show and what Mordred ends up doing. And also the age gap, I guess (I personally don't find it too weird because the actors are so clearly close in age that it can be easily brushed off, but I can see why other people might find it off-putting).

Fanfics

THANK YOU for the fic rec anon, I've skim-read it and it looks very much up my alley ♡

I actually haven't gone looking for many Merlin/Mordred fics. I've a read a few ages ago, most of them just short ficlets, but I only have one bookmarked. It's the fic that put Merlin/Mordred on my radar:

Set in Stone by EachPeachPearPlum (on AO3).

It's a relatively long fic (almost 50k words), so there is space to explore Merlin and Mordred's relationship.

I actually read it before watching the show properly (I basically watched a bunch of scenes from the show and dipped my toes in fanfiction before deciding to watch all of the series).

I haven't re-read it since, and I don't even remember how it ultimately deals with the whole prophecy thing, if it even gets to that point (I think the author meant for this to be part of a series but they didn't continue, although this story is complete). But the prophecy was addressed, with what I thought was an interesting twist.

(I won't say anything too spoiler-y in case anyone wants to check it out, but Mordred is actually aware of the prophecy and he even knows an extra bit about Merlin which Merlin himself doesn't know about. It's revealed pretty early in the story, so it's not really a spoiler).

It touches on some aspects of Merlin and Mordred's relationship that I find fascinating, so I think it's worth a read if you're interested in this pair.

Random lil' excerpt:

"I am not a child, Emrys," Mordred hisses, leaning in close; Merlin suspects he's going for menacing, but all it really comes off as is petulant, which sort of proves his point. "I was the last time you tried to kill me, but not now." And then there are words in Merlin's head, words he is powerless to stop, filled with a rage that is everything and nothing all at once. Keep your reasons to yourself, Emrys, but do not try to placate me with what we both know are lies. Mordred stands then, the expression on his face one of youthful rage, burning bright and burning quickly, and Merlin wishes he was right. If Mordred wasn't so young, Merlin could kill him without hesitation, could dream about him without hating himself (or without hating himself quite so much, since the fact that Mordred is destined to destroy everything Merlin is destined to protect is at least as much of a concern as Mordred's age). This could all be over and done with, one way or another. "Get out of here, Mordred," Merlin snarls. "You live because I let you, and you live for as long as I let you. Do not tempt me."

I JUST THINK IT'S HOT WHEN HE THREATENS TO MURDER PEOPLE OKAY

I'm just going to bring this post back to your attention. There are dozens of us! (people who find mean Merlin sexy). DOZENS

As a final note — my Italian brain refuses to call this ship Merdred. There's got to be a better name for it 😭

[silviakundera]

Love's Rebellion ep 4 -8 watch comments (warning: these are my raw thoughts, so can be critical. don't read if that will upset you.)

I am enjoying the drama now less than in the first 3 episodes. I think it's that I have limited patience for nice characters pretending to be menacing. I'm ready for them actually to be communicating with each other and working off the same page.

I can see that he's becoming soft for her, since she's so obviously a nice person (and because of seal thingy we know he canonically has a pure heart). But I want more sexual and/or romantic tension than what they are giving so far. ML has made some effort but I'll be honest, I'm feeling nothing coming back from the FL actress. (i.e. nothing in her micro expressions & body language)

Gonna try to fast forward thru things.

Fox clan prince has been introduced. He doesn't like women; he only loves himself. So there is our first grey character.

Episode 5

It's so dumb that she believes in the fake death curse that I refuse to acknowledge this is happening

They are finally turning on some romance but guys, slow mo and mid music is not the answer. Just ask them to both ACT like they're falling in love.

The Great Sect dicks are being dicks, except 1 junior good boy

Young Dragon Lord is still a bro. Very appealing loser.

Episode 6-8

Continuing the situation where she's a nice person, but there's little in her individual performance that indicates she likes him that way. While it's clear that he has started falling for her.

Fox guy is just annoying. Sorry to all fox fans out there.

ah, memories of Super Sus Shifu. Why did ML of the canonically pure heart plead guilty? 🤔 The reason is gonna be some noble idiocy, I'm sure.

More contrived misunderstandings. The writing is forcing her to be annoyingly foolish. Why would she assume he is only after her pearl when he's never been the slightest bit interested in it?

This thing where they are always at odds for petty reasons, a fake-ass enemies to lovers, is wearing thin. Real enemies to lovers, I like. This stuff isn't to my taste. I am not a determined-to-dispute, bickering to lovers trope fan.

Now everyone's in mortal peril from boat lady, the demon elder of Evil Path sect. Sadly, she also bores me.

I like ML and FL ok (when they are getting along) and I do like Dragon bro. Add in fox and demon jiejie and 💤💤💤

Ugly cgi gremlin makes another appearance

ML shows up finally as backup. But will this just end up another annoying misunderstanding?

So after he rescues her and puts her necklace back on, they actually have a mutual romantic moment!

She's finally figured out he's a Canonically Pure Heart™ who is all bark, no bite

Now can you just get along for multiple episodes in a row???

There is absolutely no reason to forgive duplicitous fox boy and not wipe his memory and kick him the fuck out. 😑

On the plus side, we are finally getting some warm vibes back from her

oh how nice, poisioned hot pot. The fox betrayed them AGAIN. And once again he just says shit and FL lets it go. 😒

We actually get a moment of her appearing attracted to Shao Cang! 😯

I still attest that you don't need lense flares, slow mo, or tinted filters to communicate affection. Just acting. Someone ring Richard Li, he can show you how it's done.

I have enjoyed objectively worse & lower budget dramas, but somehow LR isn't clicking in with me. It somehow doesn't have that cdrama feel that compels me... Perhaps I'm not hooking into that emotional sincerity; so many things are constantly happening but they feel like noise and I don't have emotional resonance from the episodes. Characters are frequently picking at each other & prodding at each other, which fills up time on screen but that's what it all feels like... filler. Somehow the vibes remind me less of a cdrama and more about the fantasy adventure genre of tv series that were being aired on Sci-fi (Syfy) network and the BBC circa 2005 - 2015. And tbh I mostly watched those shows because of fandom participation and fan outputs, not for the media product on its own.

I've commented before that cdramas finally introduced me to "good guy" characters that I wholeheartedly love and see as badass. But these leads aren't that style of protagonist. This isn't Xie Lian, Shen Qiao, Tang Fan, et al. So I'm left wishing that FL and ML were more ruthless, calculating, and grey.