#ending the year with an appearance from Joey!

[pokemon-npcs]

In all the rematches you can have with Joey, he never once has another pokémon than his Rattata (later Raticate).

I guess Joey realized that he loved his Rattata more than enough and didn't want any more pokémon after all

[v6quewrlds]

imagine being joe's person.

author's note⠀⁎⠀suffering from major joey withdrawal. reads more like a character study/brain dump than anything else but enjoy <3

For as long as Joe can remember, he had been told by everyone - coaches, doctors, teachers, teammates - that his coolness was to be envied. In the pressure cooker of professional football, the ability to keep his nerves in check had been his superpower. He loved the feeling of the game slowing down when everyone else was speeding up, the way he could read the field and make split-second decisions that could change the course of a game. From the minute he stepped onto the field, he was in control. He was commanding the huddle, keeping his eye on the clock, setting up the play, and taking lead on the outcome. He thrived when he was in control.

But when he stepped off the football field and into the public eye, all of that control completely slipped away. He couldn't help but feel like he was performing, acting the role of someone named Joe Burrow instead of just being himself. It didn't help that the cameras and curious eyes followed him everywhere. Everyone seemed to be eager to catch him off-guard, eager to see the "real" side of him, eager to witness him lose his cool.

She had caught on to his nervous tells early on in their relationship. It was subtle at first, just a hint of a tremor in his voice when he cleared it before speaking, or the way he'd swipe his palms against his pants when he was about to be interviewed, even the way he would shift from side to side slightly when he felt uncomfortable. But over the course of their two years together, she had learned to read him like a book.

He would never admit it out loud to anybody but her, but Joe was terrified of letting his guard down. The weight of his ever increasing fame and the constant pressure of living up to expectations had turned his life into a tightrope walk. But with her, everything felt different. Her presence was like a gentle breeze that calmed the static in his brain. It was always just a touch, the smell of her perfume, or the sound of her approaching footsteps that could soothe him.

His foundation was always a top priority for Joe, and today was particularly special. The charity golf event was a chance to give back to the communities in southeastern Ohio and Baton Rouge that had supported him through his football journey. From the moment they started dating seriously, she had been by his side at every event, making herself available to support him in his philanthropic efforts. His mother constantly gushed about how she was the perfect partner for Joe, handling the social graces with ease, and contributing her talents to make sure the events ran smoothly.

She had a knack for making people feel at ease, a skill that Joe greatly admired. She had a way of connecting with people from all walks of life, and it was evident in the way the guests at the check-in lit up when she greeted them. Her genuine smile and warm handshakes made even the stiffest of the corporate sponsors crack a smile. Joe watched her from across the room, feeling a sense of pride swell within him.

The golf event was in full swing now. The sun was high in the sky, casting a golden hue over the meticulously manicured greens. Joe's could feel his mind racing, his inner monologue murmuring his anxieties as he mingled with the guests as they arrived.

Between the never-ending carousel of guests, Joe would find himself glancing in the direction of the entrance, hoping the line would soon thin out and she would be by his side - where she was supposed to be. The hour reserved for check-in seemed to drag on with Robin and Jimmy occasionally stepping in to take some of the conversational weight off him. He loved them for it, he really did, but all he wanted was her comforting presence, her hand in his, her laugh in his ear.

Finally, she appeared, looking absolutely radiant in a simple white sundress that contrasted with her brown skin, her hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail, and a small black handbag in her hand. She made her way through the crowd, a vision of confidence and grace that made Joe's chest tighten. She had that special glow about her today, something that seemed to have been amplified by the excitement of the event.

Her eyes met his and he couldn't bring himself to focus on what the shorter, gray-haired man in front of him was saying. Everything around him blurred into a muffled murmur. She was everything he wasn't in social settings: poised, articulate, natural, and absolutely magnetic. As she approached, Joe felt his body relax, his breathing even out, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. She was by his side in an instant, taking her rightful place as she handed him a chilled bottle of water.

His hand gravitated to her waist, and he felt a wave of comfort wash over him as she leaned in slightly, her hand brushing against his back. He could feel his back straighten, his shoulders ease, and his breath deepen. The familiar warmth of her body began to ground him, bringing him back to the present, and reminding him that he was more than capable of remaining in control.

"George, Tim, this is my girlfriend," Joe introduced, his voice steady as he finally had the strength to redirect his focus to the guests. He watched with a proud smile as she offered the two men her hand for a handshake, easygoing greetings of "Nice to meet you," and "Thank you for coming," leaving her soft lips.

She tucked back into his side in an instant, her free hand coming up to rest between his shoulder blades, his hand wrapped around her waist once more. They made small talk with George and Tim, who both looked at Joe with a knowing smile, nodding their heads in approval at the mention of her name. Though they wouldn't have guessed it before she appeared by his side, they could see his nerves smooth out, his shoulders drop, and the tension in his jaw ease.

"So, how long have you two been together?" George inquired, sipping his drink and looking at the couple with genuine curiosity.

Joe's gaze flickered to her, a hint of a smile playing on his lips as he replied, "Two years now."

Her eyes sparkled with affection as she listened to Joe speak, her thumb idly tracing patterns on his back. "It'll be three years in August," she added, clarifying gently.

Tim, the taller of the two, chuckled and said, "Well, Joe, you're getting closer to the big 3-0. Maybe it's time to start thinking about settling down? I think you've got a pretty good candidate by your side. My wife was raving about her when they were setting up the check-in."

Joe felt his cheeks warm slightly, but the smile didn't leave his face. "I've already started planning, actually," he responded, surprising even himself with his decisiveness. Her hand stilled its motion on his back, her eyes widening in shock as she turned her face to meet his eye.

"Oh, really?" she asked, her voice a mix of surprise and amusement. "That's news to me."

Joe felt a twinge of panic, realizing he had spoken before thinking. But the look on her face wasn't one of annoyance or upset; her eyes sparkled with excitement and anticipation. He took a deep breath and said, "Well, I mean, I've been thinking about it. We've got a good thing going, and I can't see my future without you in it."

That was the truth. He often found himself wondering what life with her could look like beyond football. The dream with the white picket fence, curly-haired kids playing in the yard, her standing in the kitchen with a baby on her hip and a smile on her face when she welcomed him home. It was a picture that had started to form in his mind more and more often in the quiet moments between games and practices. At times, he questioned how he managed to be motivated to do anything that wasn't football before her - couldn't fathom how he managed to exist before her.

Her smile grew wider. "Is that so?" she said, raising an eyebrow playfully. "Very interesting."

Tim and George laughed heartily, their faces reddening with good cheer as they slapped Joe on the back. "Good for you, Joe," George exclaimed. "You're going to need someone like her to keep you grounded in this crazy world. Good luck, you two."

The conversation flowed around them as they found themselves in the middle of the bustling golf clubhouse. The air was filled with the chatter of excitement and the clinking of glasses as people mingled and shared stories. She leaned closer to Joe, whispering, "So, you're planning our future, without my input?" Her voice was teasing, but her eyes searched his, looking for a hint of what he might be feeling.

Joe looked down at her, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "Well, I figured you'd be okay with it, given that you're a big part of it," he replied, trying to keep his tone light despite the sudden seriousness that had entered their conversation. The room felt warmer, and not just from the bodies packed into the space. "I want to do this right, babe. I want to make sure you're happy, that we're both ready."

Her expression softened, and she leaned in to kiss his cheek, the gesture unseen by the surrounding guests. "Joey," she whispered, "you always make sure I'm happy. I'm ready for whatever comes next, whenever it comes."

[wolls-angel]

୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅one of the girls - j. woll⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

pairing: j. woll x fem!reader summary: Y/N gets home from a long day of work to find her daughter not in bed, but playing with Joe on the floor of the living room. request: hi! could you write something where joey is a girl dad doing whatever girl dads do? like painting nails, dressing up, coloring, etc. 🥹 word count: 983 warning(s): tooth rotting fluff, family man joe, joe is aged up about 4-5 years, not proof read notes: this was such a cute idea !! need him to get me pregnant rn. who said that ??? anyway, i hope you enjoy !! xoxo <3

You had always wanted to be a mother. Like for real. Having younger siblings and being expected to parent them while you were a teenager was one thing, but getting to hold your daughter for the first time was an entirely different (and exciting) ball park.

Joe had always known he wanted to let you live out your maternal dreams. He just wasn't sure when it could happen because of his job. After you found out you were pregnant and told him (with a baby leafs jersey), all his worries flew out the window. It felt right and nothing was going to stop the two of you from having the family you had always wanted.

The pregnancy was difficult and there were a few complications towards the due date, but in the end it was truly a magical experience. You were taken care of well by the hospital and Joe was able to make it for the birth (which is not always true for pro athletes). You both could not be more happy to welcome your first baby girl, Nora Woll.

She was perfect. An angel of a daughter. Slept well, ate well, didn't cry much, cute as a button. Everything you could have wanted. And now she is turning 4 years old. How time flies.

The drive home from the office was tedious. It was 7 PM and all you wanted to do was miraculously appear at home with food made and your daughter in bed. It was Joe's turn to pick her up from daycare and make dinner tonight, seeing as there was no game. You pull into the driveway of your home in a Toronto suburb to the lights on the porch turned off. That was strange. Normally Joe would turn them on after he put Nora to bed. Maybe he just forgot.

You open the door and try to be quiet as you take your shoes off and hang up your coat in the closet. You don't want to wake Nora by letting Joe know you're home but you can hear the TV from the living room so you know where he is. As you tiptoe down the hallway, you can hear Joe talking, "Thank you, sweetheart, I look stunning. You did an amazing job". Your brow furrows in confusion at the statement before you hear a little giggle in response, "You're welcome, daddy".

She's awake. Of course, she is. Nora has had Joe wrapped around her tiny, chubby finger since she could form sentences but you thought he was getting better at it. You guess she broke him.

"What's going on in here?", you say as you round the corner into the living room. As soon as you see it, you know. Nail polish sitting on the hardwood floor beside where your husband and toddler sit cross legged. Joe has a few clips in his hair and his hands are covered in hot pink nail polish. Nora sits in front of him wearing her Aurora princess dress with a lopsided braid in her hair and a big smile on her face.

They both look up and see you. They share an identical smile and Nora gets up to run to you, screaming "Mama, you're home!!!". Joe gets up slower, letting your daughter get first dibs on a hug before leaning down and kissing your forehead, "Hey, baby". You pick Nora up and give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, sweet girl," you say, grinning at her. Your fatigue from the day feels like it vanished into thin air. You pinch the braid in her hair and move it slightly, drawing attention to it, "Did daddy do your hair?". She nods excitedly. "He made me mac n' cheese and we watched Bluey and he let me do his nails and then we played hairdresser!". Joe gestures to his hands and hair while she talks. You smile, "Any dinner left for me?".

Joe's smile fades, "Oh, no, we ate everything". You look at him, bewildered. You're about to open your mouth but Nora beat you to it.

"We did! But... we ordered you pizza! Your favourite!"

Joe starts smiling again and leans down, placing a kiss on your cheek, "Gotcha". You fake laugh and put Nora down. It's sad that you can't hold her for as long as you used to. She's getting so big.

"Why don't you go put Nor to bed while I eat?", you say, forming the command as a question. He nods, "Come on, baby, time for bed. Say goodnight to Mama".

"Goodnight, Mama, I love you"

"Love you more, honey. I'll come up to say good night in a bit"

Nora waves are you before grabbing Joe's hand and walking up the stairs. You can hear her chatting with him the whole time, babbling on and on about how pretty she feels and how she doesn't want to go to bed. You turn to walk into the kitchen where there is a small pizza box sitting on the counter with a note on it.

For the most amazing mama in the world. We love you.

You smile. What a lucky girl you are. You quietly eat your pizza, put your plate in the dishwasher, lock the door and head upstairs to give Nora a kiss.

The door to her bedroom creaks as you open it to see Joe stuffed into Nora's tiny twin bed, his arms curled around her. They look so peaceful, both asleep and safe. You chuckle softly and lean down to kiss Nora's forehead before doing the same to Joe. He'll come to bed when he's ready. For now, you'll let him rest.

Before leaving you look over your shoulder. He truly is a sight. A 6 '4 hockey goalie smushed into a 4 year old's bed with his hair and nails done? He truly is just one of the girls.

[cjlouwho]

The Dinner

This is going to end up being a 4 part series on Meeting the Parents, where each part can be read individually. You can read on ao3, or continue below.

It was a few months after the wedding before Margaret and Phillip could get back to Los Angeles for another visit. They arrived two days before Halloween, wanting to go around the neighborhood trick or treating with Jee. It was the first year she'd really understand the holiday, and they were excited to experience it with her.

On their first night in town, Tommy and Buck were coming over for dinner.

While Tommy had briefly met them at the wedding, it wasn't more than a handshake and a hello before Jee was pulling her grandparents in one direction, and Evan was pulling him in another.

And now Buck was playing with Jee in the living room while Tommy helped plate the rolls.

“How do you feel about officially meeting the Buckley parents, Thomas?” Chimney asked, leaning against the counter.

“I was fine until Evan woke me up with a powerpoint presentation on what to and not to do.”

Maddie, who was fiddling at the table, looked over at Buck. “He's joking, right?”

Buck shook his head. “You can never be too prepared.”

Maddie rolled her eyes before turning to Tommy, a smile on her face. “Don't worry about it, Tommy. They've mellowed a lot over the past few years. Not perfect, obviously, but better.”

“Is that why you've reset the table five times?” Chimney asked, grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge.

“Hush.” She tilted her head, staring at the centerpiece before moving it slightly to the left. “Seriously, Tommy. You'll be fine.”

There was a knock, and Jee squealed as she jumped up and ran to the door.

Everyone trailed after her, Tommy moving to Buck's side.

After a prolonged hello to Jee, they greeted Maddie and Howie before moving on to Buck.

“Hi Mom, Dad,” he said, a hug for his mom and handshake for his dad. “You remember-”

“Thomas,” Tommy interrupted, holding out his hand to Margaret first. “Nice to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Buckley.”

Buck but at his lip, trying to prevent himself from bursting into laughter. It was so interesting seeing Tommy like this. He was usually so calm, cool, and collected. His nerves very rarely appeared, so it was like a special treat when they did.

“Oh, come here,” Margaret said, bypassing his hand and wrapping him in a hug.

Tommy returned it, looking at Chimney with wide eyes.

Chimney himself looked surprised too, which felt like a good sign.

Once Margaret was finished, Phillip shook Tommy's hand. “Good to see you too, Thomas.”

They settled in and Tommy took what felt like the first breath since this morning. Maddie grinned at him with two thumbs up, which made him feel even more relaxed.

He'd never been so anxious to meet the parents of someone he was with before. Honestly, he'd only done it a couple of times. Once in high school, when he met the parents of the girl he took to prom. She ended up ditching him for her friends about halfway through the dance, so he never had to see them again.

Then there was Joey's parents. A guy he'd dated on and off after he first came out. They were... not a good match, but he just so happened to be at Joey's house when his mom showed up out of the blue. One awkward brunch later, he and Joey broke up for good a few minutes after she walked out the door.

Maybe that's why he was so nervous. The two times he'd met someone's parents, it ended in a breakup.

He couldn't think like that right now though.

Everything would be fine. He could do this.

*****

Dinner went surprisingly smooth. Most of the attention had been on Jee during dinner, but she got bored before dessert and headed into her bedroom to play.

That's when the questions started coming in.

“So, Thomas, Ev- Buck mentioned you also work for the fire department,” Margaret began, “but at a different station?”

Tommy nodded. “Yes, Ma'am. I'm a pilot at Harbor Station. It's about twenty minutes from the 118... or an hour with the traffic,” he added, getting a laugh from both Buckley parents.

“Dangerous job,” Phillip noted. “Rewarding though, I'm sure.”

“Oh, yes, Sir. Very rewarding.”

“So, you and Buck don't ever really get to see each other at work?” Margaret asked.

“Sometimes. I work ground ops every once in a while and we'll see each other. But when I am in the air, Evan likes to take pictures and send them to me,” he added, smiling over at Buck.

Margaret and Phillip shared a glance. Even out of the corner of Buck's eye, he could see his parents looking at one another. He knew they were silently discussing the fact that Tommy gets away with calling him by his given name. Something he'd steadfastly reminded them not to do.

He waited, heartbeat rising, for them to bring it up.

Instead, Margaret smiled. “So, how'd you two meet?”

"He flew us through a hurricane to rescue Cap and Athena."

"Buck." Maddie eyed him, a silent why would you say that?

He knew how protective his parents were. How they hated to think of him in danger. How saying something like that could cause tension between all of them, especially with Tommy.

Buck simply shrugged. "It's true."

"It's alright," Margaret reassured them. "Phillip and I are learning to come to terms with the fact that the job Buck has is a dangerous one. But life's a risk, right? We- We know you're taking every precaution to be safe."

Tommy reached out and rested his hand on Buck's thigh. "Yes," he agreed. "And technically we didn't fly through the hurricane, we flew through the outskirts of a hurricane."

"And Tommy's overly qualified," Chimney chimed in, for good measure. "That's why I asked him to take us. It's also why I claim to be matchmaker."

"Well, seeing as you're all in one piece," Phillip said, folding his hands on the table. "Why don't you tell us more about this helicopter-matchmaking adventure?"

The conversation continued for a while. It wasn't all focused on Tommy, thankfully. They went around the table swapping stories and sharing anecdotes. They never even batted an eye when Tommy moved his hand to Evan's back, rubbing softly. He did it almost unconsciously, nearly freezing up when he realized it. He had been told that the Buckley's weren't homophobic. But it was one thing to not care with other people, and another to not care with your own kid. However, their reaction, or lack thereof, was the final confirmation that Tommy needed to know everything was okay and they truly didn't mind.

*****

When it was time for Jee to head to bed, she demanded Uncle Tommy fly her to the room like a “helichopter” so, of course, he did. Then she demanded her mommy, daddy, and Uncle Buck read her a story together, so Tommy headed back out to the living room with the Buckley's to sit and chat.

“She calls you Uncle Tommy,” Margaret said, nearly beaming.

Tommy smiled. “Yeah, that started a couple months ago. I think she knows it's a surefire way to get me to say yes to whatever she asks. Evan jokes me about it all the time.”

“Okay, I have to ask-”

“Margaret,” Phillip warned.

She waved him off. “I'm just asking.” She leaned in close, almost like she was about to reveal some deep, dark secret.

Tommy sure hoped that wasn't it. He'd heard all about their last deep, dark secret.

“He lets you call him Evan. How'd you manage that?”

Tommy fought to hide his grin. “That's how he introduced himself when we met,” he explained. “Once I realized no one else ever called him that, I tried calling him Buck, but he gave me a funny look and told me to stick with Evan.”

Tommy knew Evan didn't hate his name. Knew others called him by it sometimes. He also knew that his parents calling him Buck was important to him. A way to show they were finally listening to what he wanted, and they were respecting him.

Tommy almost expected this to be where the trouble came in. Maybe this is where the Buckley's stuck up their nose and asked what made him so special? Evan had warned him about it during the presentation that morning.

They didn't do that though. Instead they looked... happy? Excited even.

“You a basketball fan?” Phillip asked, opting for a change of subject.

“Yes, Sir. Love it.”

“Professional or college?”

“I prefer professional, but I watch both.”

“I've been wanting to go to a game for years, but it's a little boring to go alone. We're coming back in a couple months for another visit. You and I should find a game.”

“I'd love that.” Tommy couldn't seem to agree fast enough. The fact that his boyfriend's dad actually wanted to hang out and spend time with him made him feel like he was in a dream world. “I think the Lakers usually play in Vegas that time of year. I could fly us out for a game,” he offered with a shrug. “I go there pretty regularly.”

“Uh oh,” Margaret joked. “Wrong thing to say. He'll be taking you up on those offers all the time.”

“That's fine with me,” Tommy assured her. “I love to fly. Evan and I go on little trips every time we have a few days off together. He's always finding new places for us to go within a couple hours of here.”

“Tell you what,” Phillip said, tipping his beer toward Tommy, “you fly us there, the tickets are on me.”

“Oh, you don't-”

“No, no. I insist.”

“Just nod and say okay,” Margaret faux-whispered.

Tommy laughed, but nodded. “Okay. Sounds good.”

“Good. Now, if you'll excuse me,” Phillip said, setting his beer on the coffee table before he went to stand. “I need to use the restroom. Be right back.”

Once Phillip had rounded the corner to head down the hall, Margaret scooted closer to Tommy, a smile playing on her face. “You don't go by Thomas, do you?”

Tommy let out a breathy laugh. “No, Ma'am. No, I don't.”

She nodded. “I figured. Tommy, then, right?”

“Yes, Ma'am. Thomas is fine though, if you prefer it.”

She reached over and patted him on the arm. “No, Tommy is what you go by, Tommy is what you'll be called. And please, call me Margaret, and my husband Phillip. No need for formalities.”

“Yes, Ma'- Margaret.”

“You're a good man, Tommy,” she said, her face serious but sincere. “You're good for Buck.”

Tommy could feel his heart swell. “I'd argue he's good for me.”

“You're good for each other,” she compromised. “I've never seen him so happy, so settled. He may think I don't know him, and maybe I don't as well as I should, but I know that.” A happy blush rose on her cheeks. “I have a funny feeling you'll be calling us Mom and Dad sometime soon.”

Tommy felt overwhelmed. He'd never expected her to say anything like that, but he loved the sound of it. He was right near having to blink back tears as Buck walked out into the living room. “Jee caught Dad on his way out from the bathroom,” he said to his mom. “She's asking for you now.”

“Off I go,” Margaret said with a giggle, giving Tommy another pat before she got up and left.

Buck sat down beside Tommy, tilting his head when he saw the dazed expression on his face.

“You okay?” he asked, wrapping Tommy's arm up in his.

Tommy smiled at him, then leaned over and gave him a kiss.

“Mm,” Buck moaned in surprise, the kiss ending with a pop. “What was that for?”

“I just... I've had a really good night. And I love you.”

Buck snuggled closer to him, laying his head on his shoulder. “I love you too.”

As he rested there, Buck went over the night in his head. There had been no awkward moments. No moments where Buck felt embarrassed or upset.

Tommy never had to defend him or himself.

They had even managed to be alone with Tommy for an extended period and Tommy seemed... happy about it?

His parents actually got along with Tommy really well.

Buck was glad.

He was glad his parents liked Tommy.

There was no problem.

He wasn't jealous at all.

Honest.

[lemoncrushh]

Best Friends

Summary: You and Harry are best friends, but he would love for it be more.

Warnings: None, just fluff

Word Count: 1628

A/N: A cute best friends blurb from 2016. This blurb is a little bit different. It's still written for the reader, but it's in Harry's POV like he's telling you about you and him. It's 1D Harry, but you are roommates (not sure why I did that, it might have been a request lol). Louis, Niall, Liam and Cheryl appear in this one too.

"Y/N!" you heard me call from the kitchen.

"Yeah babe?" you yelled from your bedroom.

"What do you want for dinner?"

You slipped into your shorts and t-shirt, not bothering to put on a bra. You'd been living with me for years, and we were best friends. There was no reason for you to be modest around me. You walked into the kitchen, lightly drying your hair with a towel.

"What have we got?" you asked, my head behind the freezer door.

I stepped back, nearly knocking myself in the head as I looked at you. Jesus, you were beautiful. You were never really one to be high maintenance, but on the daily you always tried to look your best. If we ran into each other in the mornings before you left for work, I always told you how gorgeous you looked. You would smile and say, "thanks babe," giving me a kiss on the cheek. If I took you out with me to a dinner party or some other industry function, you'd look so amazing it would take my breath away. But this...this was my favourite. When you were freshly clean from the shower, your running shorts or a pair of sweats on, no makeup, your hair damp. You were absolutely stunning, and to be honest, I had a hard time not staring.

"Um..." I swallowed, "not much."

You shrugged. "Anything's fine with me. We can order pizza if you want."

Not waiting for a response, you walked back to the bathroom to hang your towel on the rod. Then returning to the living room, you plopped down on the sofa, grabbing the remote control. I watched you as I ordered pizza from my phone, then placed it on the counter.

"How was your day?" you asked me. You flipped through the channels before landing on Friends.

"It was okay," I shrugged, walking over to sit next to you.

"Just okay?" you raised a brow.

"Well, you know. Writing, studio time."

"Is the album coming along?" you inquired, adjusting yourself on the sofa so that you faced me, your elbow resting on the back. I adored the little things like that. They showed me you cared about me, and weren't just making small talk out of obligation.

"Yeah," I nodded with a grin. "It's coming along great. We have six tracks recorded now."

"Eeek!" you squealed, clapping your hands. "I can't wait to hear them! You will let your dear BFF hear them first, won't you?"

I chuckled. "Of course."

You smiled, reaching for my hand to squeeze. "I'm so excited, Harry!"

"Me too," I beamed. I couldn't help it. When you looked at me that way, my heart wanted to beat out of my chest.

We sat and watched Friends together, laughing at Phoebe getting hummus on her dress and Joey walking in with all of Chandler's clothes on. The pizza arrived and we ate it in front of the television. We ended up opening a bottle of wine, enjoying it with good conversation well into the evening. I loved watching your cheeks get pink from the alcohol, your eyelids slightly heavy. I wanted so badly to kiss you, but I knew you didn't feel that way about me. So just like every other night, I pushed the urge aside and continued with our friendly banter.

Finally around midnight, you rose from the couch to take our glasses to the kitchen. I sat back on the sofa, resting my eyes and silently wishing you'd either suddenly feel the same about me, or my own feelings would dissipate. I could hear your footsteps as you returned to the living room, stopping in front of me.

"I'm going to bed now, babe. I'm exhausted."

My eyes fluttered open to look at you, an easy grin spreading across my face.

"Okay, love," I sat up. "Goodnight."

"Night," you murmured, leaning over to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll go shopping tomorrow for the dinner party."

"Oh. Right." I'd almost forgotten. Tomorrow the boys were coming for dinner and you were planning to cook.

"I love you," you declared.

"I love you, too."

Giving me a soft smile, you turned and headed toward your bedroom. With a deep sigh, I leaned back against the sofa again. If only you knew how much I loved you. If only...

Our dining room was noisy and smelled like a mix of garlic and cologne, which to some might sound questionable, but as for me, I wouldn't have had it any other way. You'd made the most delicious meal I'd ever tasted, and once again you'd proven to be the perfect host.

"Shall I get dessert?" you asked, starting to rise from the table.

"I'll help," offered Liam's girlfriend, Cheryl.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, standing up. "I need to make a toast."

You raised your brows in question, sitting back down and taking your glass.

"To..." I hesitated. "To best friends, best food, and best company."

"Hear hear!" everyone said in unison. I heard the sound of glasses clinking together as I turned to look at you.

"Thank you, Y/N," I grinned. "You're amazing."

You gave me your million watt smile, bringing your glass to your lips. I watched you take a drink before sipping my own.

"I'll get the dessert," you said softly, your eyes still on me.

As soon as you'd left the room, I ran my hand down my face with a groan.

"What's wrong, mate?" asked Niall.

"Nothing," I shook my head.

Louis scoffed, shaking his head.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes.

"It's so obvious, Harry," he remarked.

"What is?"

"That you're in love with her."

"Y/N?" Niall turned to me, his eyes wide. "Ya are?"

"He has been from day one," said Louis.

"I have not," I argued, my stomach suddenly in knots.

"Does she know?" Liam piped in.

"No," I shook my head. "She doesn't have a fucking clue."

"So ya are," Niall nodded.

I glared at him.

"Ya gonna tell her?"

"I can't," I dropped my head. "She seems so happy with the way things are. I don't wanna mess it up."

"Mess what up?" Cheryl asked when she walked through the doorway from the kitchen, three dishes of dessert in her hands. She placed two of them in front of Louis and Liam and sat down with her own.

"Harry's in love with Y/N," muttered Liam.

"Shhh," I put my finger to my lips.

"You are?" Cheryl's eyes widened.

"Am I the only one who picked up on this?" Louis threw up his hands.

"Yes, okay?" I whisper-shouted. "I'm in love with her. I've been in love with her for a long time."

Louis nodded, just as you emerged from the kitchen. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I prayed you hadn't overheard our conversation.

"Here you go!" you sang, placing dishes in front of Niall and me.

I looked up at you while you sat beside me, digging your fork into your dessert. I reckoned you could feel my gaze so you side-eyed me, giving me a smirk.

"What?" you asked.

I shook my head, dismissing the moment and biting into my own dessert.

After everyone had said their goodbyes and we saw them out the door with a gracious thank you, I followed you into the kitchen, offering to help you with dishes. We worked together in silence, my heart racing and my brain on overdrive. I didn't know if you'd heard my confession, but it was nearly killing me that you were being so quiet which was unlike you.

Finally, putting the last dish in the washer and shutting it, you turned to me.

"I heard you," you muttered.

"What?" I stopped. My initial reaction was to question it, because surely I misunderstood you.

"I heard what you said. What you told Cheryl and the boys."

I lowered my gaze to the countertop, my finger tracing a nonexistent pattern.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked.

"I didn't want to embarrass or humiliate you," you replied.

"How...how would you have humiliated me?"

"Harry..."

I lifted my head to look at you. What I already knew was staring me in the face.

"You don't feel the same," I stated.

You were silent for a moment until you shook your head. "It's not that. It's just...I had no idea you felt that way about me. I thought all this was harmless flirting and friendship stuff. It's...it's kinda weird, you know?"

I blinked, nodding my head. You stepped closer to me, reaching for my hand.

"I love you," you declared. "I care about you. I don't want any awkwardness between us."

"I get that," I agreed.

You lifted your other hand to touch my cheek.

"You're so amazing," you added. "And if..."

I covered your hand with mine, looking into your eyes.

"If what?"

You swallowed hard. "If I let my guard down...I could easily fall in love with you."

I felt my lips stretch into a smile as you did the same. Then leaning forward, you lightly brushed your lips against mine, kissing the corner of my mouth. I knew you were still hesitant, so I didn't push further.

"One step at a time," you said, echoing my thoughts, though it was almost a question.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm going to bed," you whispered. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight."

I watched you once again as you walked away towards your bedroom. So, the cat was out of the bag as they say. You knew the truth. You hadn't reciprocated my feelings, but at least you hadn't shut them down either. I had hope. And I planned on holding onto it for a while.

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[in-death-we-fall]

Brothers Beyond

Slipknot may never fully recover from the passing of Paul Gray, but their imminent return to the stage at UK’s Sonisphere is going to be an act of catharsis for fans and band alike. Shawn ‘Clown’ Crahan and Joey Jordison open up to Hammer exclusively.

Words: Dom Lawson Pics: Steve Brown

Metal Hammer 218 - June 2011 (drive link)

Editor’s note: The dark lord speaks…

16 Gigantic Balls.

That’s what Slipknot had to have to get back in the saddle after the inestimable loss of Paul Gray last year, and judging by our breathtakingly candid interview this month, their appearance at Sonisphere this summer is going to be one for the history books. Slipknot’s return is nothing short of heroic, and we hope you’ll love reading Dom Lawson’s piece as much as we did putting it together.

But then Hammer’s always been about getting under the skin of things to bring you a depth and breadth of metal coverage that you won’t find anywhere else, and this issue’s packed with the kind of chest-swelling bravado that makes real metal bands tick. From Biff Byford’s frankly inspiring quest to defy trends and stick to his guns, to Mastodon’s rise from the depths of obscurity to become one of the world’s foremost lords of the riff, to our first glimpse of Iron Maiden simply fucking killing it on a world-tour that’s more like a global victory lap, Hammer is all about the sorts of tales that make the musicians we love as inspiring as the music that they create. Oh, and metal in… Botswana? The metal empire is truly growing at a staggering pace – be the first to read and read about it.

And as we barrel ever-closer to this year’s positively thrilling Golden God awards, we hope you’ll take the time to add your votes to the hundreds of thousands we’ve already received. It’s also your chance to win tickets to what’s sure to be the most ridiculously metallic award show in history. I mean really, Devin and Twisted Sister on the same night? Whollee. Fucking. Shiiiit! Just head to www.metalhammer.co.uk/goldengods to cast your vote and take a part in heavy metal history.

Before we kick off these headbanging proceedings, let’s take a moment to spare a thought for the late, truly great Scott Columbus, erstwhile Manowar drummer and an inspiration to any metalhead who’s ever felt their pulse quicken to the sound of a mighty drum. Our thoughts are with his friends and family in this difficult time. Horns at half mast.

STAY METAL..

Brothers Beyond

Slipknot may never fully recover from the passing of Paul Gray, but their imminent return to the stage at UK’s Sonisphere is going to be an act of catharsis for fans and band alike. Shawn ‘Clown’ Crahan and Joey Jordison open up to Hammer exclusively.

Words: Dom Lawson Pics: Steve Brown

When the news broke last December, you could hear the cheers of elation and sighs of relief from the hot streets of Rio de Janeiro to the sun-blistered stone of the Parthenon. Despite having endured an horrific year that had seen them reduced from a seemingly invincible nine-man wrecking crew to a wounded but dignified band of brothers, following the tragic death of founder member and bassist Paul Gray back in May, Slipknot announced that (sic) were going to return, headlining the Sonisphere festival at Knebworth this July and playing a handful of other prestigious dates. The events of 2010 unquestionably pulled the rug from underneath this seemingly unyielding band’s feet and plunged them into a period of mourning and destabilising uncertainty; the endless and often witless speculation of pundits and fans on the internet only adding to the sense that the Iowans’ rudder had fallen off, leaving them lost and directionless. In the end, those who were predicting the end of the Slipknot story looked very foolish. The end of Slipknot? Don’t be fucking ridiculous.

Four months on from that announcement, drummer Joey Jordison and percussionist and visual king Shawn ‘Clown’ Crahan, the other two parts of the unholy trinity of Des Moines miscreants who put the band together in the first place, are in a far more buoyant and defiant mood than many may have predicted after watching the heartbreaking press conference that followed Paul’s death. Speaking to Hammer as the wheels of progress start to grind into action, both men have plenty to say about the past, present and future of their band and, despite having barely spoken to the press since the passing of their friend, both are happy to answer the questions that fans have been dying to ask during those months of sorrow. First and foremost, we have to ask what prompted them to stage their comeback in Europe rather than at home in the US.

“If we were gonna return, why would we not go to Europe first?” states Joey. “It was the right decision at the right time. Europe’s always been amazing to us, especially the UK. I still remember our first show there, on December 13, 1999; I still have dreams about it! It was one of the biggest landmarks of our career so why not go back now? Slipknot is not going to die. It’s a lifeforce, man. With all the feelings and emotions and the passion of one of the people who really helped to start our band pushing us forward, this is how we start again.”

You always seem to have had a strong relationship with the UK; ever since the self-titled album came out in 1999 and UK metal fans immediately embraced what you were doing, arguably more so than in any other territory. Is the show at Knebworth going to be the most important of all?

“The show at Knebworth is going to be heavy, man,” says Shawn. “We thought Download was fuckin’ heavy in 2009, but this’ll be something else. I don’t even know how to describe it, because the UK kids know us, man. I remember the first show at the Astoria in ‘99. I walked into the Astoria and there was a kid in an orange jumpsuit and a clown mask, and he’d paid £85 to have the mask made so he could be me. I couldn’t believe it. I thought I’d achieved everything when I got to the UK; the UK totally gets us. That show will be the heaviest show on the tour by far. There’ll be a lot of tears that day.”

“The feeling right now between all the bandmembers is the same feeling we had when we first came to the UK,” adds Joey. “This is a special event. It’s not like being on tour. We’re doing this out of our hearts and out of respect for our band and mostly out of respect for our fans. This isn’t contrived, some list of tour dates. This is speaking directly to the UK and to Europe. This is not bullshit. People will be pleasantly surprised by what we’re bringing.”

One of Slipknot’s strengths has always been that they’ve been adept at presenting a united front to the world. Even though it’s always been apparent that this is a band full of wildly differing personalities, the whole point of Slipknot has often seemed to be the expression of a single, focused purpose, uniting band and audience in a grand outpouring of righteous anger and joyous energy. As a result, the last year has been a little unsettling for those observing the band, not least because for the first time it has been made plain that not everyone in Slipknot has been reading from the same tight-lipped, thoughtful page. In particular, frontman Corey Taylor has been making frequent public pronouncements that have carried a faint air of pessimism and negativity.

“Part of me is ready [to carry on with the band] and there’s a part of me that’s not,” he stated back in March. “I have a lot of trepidation about it. I don’t know how to feel. I know a lot of the guys in the band are trying not to show that side, and I can’t.”

In light of the fact that Slipknot had already announced their intention to return, thus strongly implying that the band could well continue beyond these few shows and make another record too, Corey’s comments, seem, at best, a little unhelpful. Do his publicly expressed doubts about the future of the band run deeper or is this simply a case of one man’s emotions leading him away from the general consensus?

“Well, I would get into a lot of trouble if I try to speak for people, so it’s important that you print it like I say it, and I’m saying that I’m not speaking for anybody except myself,” states Shawn, firmly but diplomatically. “But in my opinion the majority of people in the band need Slipknot, want Slipknot, have no doubt that Slipknot will continue. There may be people in the band who may have a harder time feeling what they’re experiencing and only they can get over that and only they can make themselves feel that way. Hopefully their feelings will work out, and that’s exactly what we’re doing, getting together to celebrate Paul’s life, his love for music, his love for Slipknot, his love for his fans.”

The last few years have been upsetting for rock fans, with numerous major figures passing away, leaving huge gaps that can never be filled. The loss of Paul resonated as loudly and powerfully as any, partly because he was such a talented and revered figure within the metal world, but also because Slipknot have always seemed to be impervious to the hazards that cause most bands to noisily disintegrate or feebly fizzle out, whether they be as trivial as ‘musical differences’ or as monumental as mortality itself. And yet, despite having been temporarily stopped in their tracks, few would bet against Slipknot roaring back into action at full strength and with renewed vigour when they hit the road again this summer. As another band appearing at Sonisphere this July once sang, “You cannot kill what doesn’t die…”

“It’s always been that way,” agrees Joey. “Our first tour was Ozzfest in ‘99 and we fuckin’ blew every other band off the fuckin’ stage, every night. It was not even a competition. It’s not like we were trying to beat anyone; we were just being ourselves. We toured with Coal Chamber and some other bands that year too, and I recall my friend Dez Fafara telling me that one guy from one of the other bands had looked at him when we were playing and said, ‘Can you see what we got ourselves into here?’ They tried to kick us off the tour, every band did. One show in Oklahoma City we couldn’t fit anything on the stage and they kicked us off the show and we still outsold every other band’s merch! That’s the strength of what we are when we’re together as a band. That’s not ego talking, it’s the truth. It is what it is, and I’m so happy and so fulfilled with everything we’ve done and everything that we’re gonna do.”

“A lot of people won’t know that we were done with All Hope Is Gone, and we were going to take a break like we do after every record,” says Shawn. “That’s why people love our band; we’re not trying to get off our label and make a bunch of shitty records and try to shove ‘em down fans’ throats. We take time off to get physically and spiritually sound, then we get bored and take what we’ve learned from where we’ve been and we apply it to right now and we get busy with art and music, then we come and kick the living shit out of you. That’s what we do.”

Just as the trials of life can never kill a band with Slipknot’s fighting spirit, neither can you replace the irreplaceable; a fact that made the band’s decision to fight another day such a painful one. There from the beginning, Paul made such an invaluable contribution to every aspect of Slipknot’s music, methodology and rise to glory that the idea of someone else stepping into his jumpsuit and mask was simply unthinkable. But there are always ways a means to circumnavigate even the toughest problems, and so the news that Slipknot have recruited Donnie Steele, a member of a very early lineup of the band and a close friend and musical collaborator of Paul’s, to perform bass duties on these upcoming dates has removed a great deal of disquiet from conversations about the future.

“I’m glad you’re speaking with me today,” notes Joey. “You have called me on the first day that I play with my new bass player. I’m starting with Donnie tonight. I start working with him first and we have over 35 songs that we have to rehearse tonight! Ha ha ha! When we headline in the UK it’s gonna be a longer set, so we have to go over a bunch of stuff.”

What made you go with Donnie?

“It was an easy decision,” he says. “I don’t want to talk about my brother’s death, but once it happened, our phones all lit up with all these guys from other bands. I took it at a disrespect level. I was like, ‘No, no, no!’ and it just came to me one night. I woke up from a dream about the early Slipknot days, before it was even known as Slipknot. Donnie was our first guitar player. We only had one guitar player but we had three drummers. You couldn’t even hear the guitar before we hired Josh [Brainard, Slipknot guitarist from 1995-1999]. So I called Shawn and I said, ‘This is the only thing that makes sense…’ Slipknot is a family. It’s a brotherhood. When we started together, Donnie was there. The last time I saw Paul was when I was with Rob Zombie in Iowa; Donnie was there and he and Paul were writing a new record for [pre-Slipknot metal project] Body Pit. I said to Shawn, ‘He’s part of our family!’”

“The gentleman who’s filling in for Paul was very, very good friends with Paul,” Shawn adds. “They come from a school of death metal and black metal, both very technical players. Recently Paul had hooked up with him and they were finally going to do their side-project. Paul was a guitar player and he attacked the bass like he did the guitar, and that’s exactly what Donnie’s gonna do. So he’s bringing more integrity than any freakin’ person who ever thought they had a chance of playing bass in something as serious as Slipknot. I laughed in the face of anybody who thought they had a chance!”

There’s been a lot of speculation about whether Donnie will be performing alongside the rest of the band onstage or whether he will be behind the drum riser out of sight. Can you confirm or deny any of this?

“We still have to figure out what we wanna do,” says Joey. “Will he be behind me? Right now, yes. In the future, I don’t know. Right now, he’s behind me or right next to me and he’ll be watching my every move and I’ll be watching him but it’s not going to take away from my performance, because by the time we hit the stage it’s going to be easy.”

“I can’t predict the future, but I know right now there’s no new mask, no new coveralls, no new number,” says Shawn. “There’s eight guys on stage and the first guitar player we ever had filling in for Paul, because there’s always gonna be nine.”

Clearly there can be no upside to the loss of such a loved and respected figure, but the last year has at least enabled the music world to finally acknowledge Paul as the influential and inspirational creative dynamo buzzing tirelessly away at the heart of Slipknot. It has always been left primarily to Joey, Shawn and Corey to communicate with the press and although Paul was not averse to doing interviews, his relative anonymity within such a populous band meant that he was able to exert his vast influence on Slipknot’s music and ethos away from the media spotlight. Now, of course, it’s apparent that his death has left a chasm inside this band’s furious heart and that these forthcoming live performances present a huge emotional challenge to those who mourn him, both on the stage and in front of it. Joey and Shawn are clearly still coming to terms with the loss of their friend, both close to tears when his name inevitably comes up in our conversations. For Shawn in particular, Slipknot’s return to the stage is all about paying respects and doing what needs to be done.

“Slipknot is more dangerous now than ever and I have the fuel known as Paul Dedrick Gray in my blood,” he says. “I’ve been here from the beginning, when Paul recognized my ability as an artist and said, ‘Just do it, man! Let your thoughts out and don’t let anyone stop you from what you feel and what you think!’ So now I’ve got his blood boiling in my veins. I’m not just playing for Clown; I’m playing for him, for his wife and daughter, his legacy, his love for the band, his love for music. I’m not discrediting anybody. We wouldn’t be where we’re at without everybody. We wouldn’t be here without Corey, Sid, Jim, Craig, Mick, Chris, all of us. But in the beginning, there was this idea that was created by Paul and I. He wrote the kind of music with Joey that just made me want to put my face through glass. I helped start one of the biggest metal bands in the world and I’m not necessarily a metalhead. I’m an alternative dude or an indie dude, whatever the fuck that means. I was on my way to being like Andy Warhol or something! I gave it all up to be in this band called Slipknot and I love it and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Another major issue is whether or not Slipknot will ever make another studio album. Paul wrote a lot of the band’s music and was an integral part of the creative process on all four of their albums to date, but Slipknot have no shortage of creative brains to tap for fresh ideas. Corey added a dash of fuel to the fires of confusion when he stated recently that “there’s such a huge piece missing now, a piece that the fans can’t even understand. I mean, Paul always was that unconscious, almost lynchpin that held everything together. And he had such a great mind for the music that we created that without him, I don’t see it happening very soon, let’s put it that way.”

Given that it’s clear that at least one member of the band has doubts about the future, can fans truly be secure in the knowledge that their heroes will continue beyond these festival appearances and as far as a new album in the future?

“That’s the most important question you’ve asked so far,” says Joey. “We made this decision [to play shows this summer] out of respect for the music that we made and out of respect for our friend but mainly for our fans. Why would we not continue? It’s stupid to even think it. There are a lot of naysayers and all that shit. In the Slipknot world it’s blasphemy to say we might not continue.”

“Yes, I always knew we’d be back together,” insists Shawn. “Yes, I always thought we’d make another record. When? I don’t know. Is it being talked about? No, it is now. When would it ever be? I have no idea because I’m not a fortune teller, but in my heart of heart of hearts, and with Paul on my shoulder, kicking me in my face day after day, I absolutely believe there’ll be another record. How could there not be?”

Their unerring ability to sing from a single song sheet has been one of the biggest factors in Slipknot’s enduring appeal. From humble beginnings in Des Moines to their status as one of the biggest metal bands on the planet, these men prize collective focus above virtually anything else, and so it has been strange to see signs of hesitancy emerge in recent times. It’d be more than a little tacky to speculate whether Corey’s seemingly disruptive remarks about the future, and his bandmates’ self-evident but skilfully stifled testiness, are merely evidence that the grieving process affects different people in different ways, but it is also undeniably true that the internet age has made it more or less impossible for any high-profile rock band to conduct their affairs in private. The much-debated possibility that Corey is to be announced as Velvet Revolver’s new singer is a great example of this: what would normally be dismissed as idle gossip takes on a level of credibility far beyond what the known facts would seem to deserve. Social networking is the new grapevine, it seems, and Joey is not impressed.

“The internet can fuck off!” he barks. “I have an official MySpace and Facebook, but all that bullshit? I don’t use it. If you want to talk to me as a person, the internet is the worst thing possible. I do get it. Maybe it makes sense if you don’t have a life of your own. But that’s why i don’t use it. I have lovely people around me all the time and I’m blessed with everything I’ve been able to accomplish. I only have MySpace and Facebook to block people from imitating me. I don’t even have a Twitter account. But you know what? If I need to find where a good Mexican restaurant is, I can log on and find it. So the internet does have its uses, I guess! Ha ha!”

Bullshit and hyperbole will continue to make the world go round, but for now at least, all that remains is to get very, very excited indeed about seeing Slipknot again at Knebworth this summer. Anyone who witnessed the band tearing Download a collection of new arseholes in 2009 will be able to confirm that there are few bands more capable of commanding a festival headlining slot, and it goes without saying that the UK will welcome them back with open arms and pounding hearts, but our mounting excitement at the thought of Slipknot headlining a major UK festival again is undeniably tempered by a faint air of nervousness about the backdrop of grief and uncertainty that has coloured the band’s canvas over the last 12 months. One way or another, this is going to be extremely emotional, isn’t it?

“I don’t think any fan ever thought they were never gonna see Paul again,” says Shawn. “So it’s our duty to being it all together; when I walk on stage in tears, there’ll be 10,000 other people in tears with me and we’re going to celebrate in the salvation of music and what brings us together.”

“These gigs are not a job,” avows Joey. “This is more of a cleansing. All of us are going to have the most incredible shows of our career. That’s it. I’m not saying this to promote this. But this is going to be worth the wait. Of course there are gonna be teary eyes and maybe for some of us, behind the masks, but are they gonna be sad tears? No, they’ll be happy. We’re going to be there and we’re going to watch the audience explode and what better celebration could you ask for? That’s all it needs to be. Let’s just fucking rock!”

Slipknot play Sonisphere, July 8-10, 2011

“We’re gonna die for rock ‘n roll!”

Slipknot’s drummer was in Tokyo with his other band, Murderdolls, when the recent earthquake hit Japan, wreaking devastation and leading to many thousands of deaths. Here he recounts his experience for the first time…

“I was doing an interview and a photoshoot in this really rickety building when the quake started,” he recalls. “We’d already felt a smaller quake the day before, but when this one really hit it was throwing me against the walls. My tour manager Roger grabbed me saying, ‘Fuck this! We don’t need this…’ and he threw me over his shoulder and got me out of there! Everyone was trying to get out and we were the last band to leave Japan. We were like, ‘Fuck it!’ We were gonna stay and if we die, we’re gonna die for rock ‘n’ roll! That’s the Murderdolls’ mentality. We couldn’t get back to our hotel rooms because the elevators were completely fucked, so we went and stayed in the bar and got shitfaced. In the end we got evacuated. It was like, ‘If you want to make it back to the US, you need to go now otherwise you’re gonna be stuck here!’ So we finished our pints and got to the airport and, luckily, got on the airplane. Right after that is when the nuclear reactor was heating up. It was a big, intense experience. It was one for the books, I tell you…”

Shawn Crahan tells Hammer about his new band…

Black Dots Of Death

Describe your new band… “It’s a rebirth of Clown, a second coming, and it’s dangerous. It’s the next level. It’s a mix of many genres. I’m done making soft music and now I’m angry again and everything’s surrounded by death and the idea of ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ There’s a moral behind everything; it’s deep.”

What appeals to you about playing the drums? “I’ve played drums since I was eight years old, man. When you see me play drums, that’s the most personal me you’ll ever see. I don’t wear a mask. No one plays as hard as me, man.”

Do you have plans to take Black Dots Of Death out on the road? “The record is out now. Everything you need to know, you can find at www.theblackdotsofdeath.com. This is art, man, and it’s fuckin’ dangerous. But my biggest priority in 2011 is to get together with Slipknot. There will be Black Dots shows, but my biggest priority is to celebrate Paul’s life.”

Will he or won’t he?

The rumour mill has been working overtime as speculation mounts about Corey Taylor apparently becoming the new singer in Velvet Revolver. Or not. Here’s what’s been said so far…

“We recorded a bunch of songs with Corey. I think he’s fucking great – he’s the best voice of a new generation and I’d be proud to do anything with him.” [Duff McKagan, March 2011]

“He’s a guy we’ve had our eye on, but the timing wasn’t right. Weiland was available. He was out of Stone Temple Pilots. It wasn’t like we went and said, ‘Hey, dude…’ He came to us, like, ‘Hey, I’m out of my band. I’ve got time. Let’s do this.’ And it’s a similar situation with this individual.” [Sorum to billboard.com, December 2010]

“[The new singer is] a little younger, a little stronger, a little heavier rock’n’roll than we are.” [Sorum to Noisecreep, December 2010]

“A couple of people have said one thing or another, but it’s been blown out of proportion. I’ve made no comment on that one.” [Slash, February 2011]

“It’s gonna be interesting going into the third record because we’re gonna have a whole different personality as a vocalist. Chances are it’s gonna be a lot heavier than anything Velvet Revolver has done so far.” [Sorum to artistdirect.com, January 2011]

“As soon as we got off the road from the last tour and parted ways with [singer] Scott [Weiland], we got together and wrote half a dozen really great, sort of heavy metal pieces of music. It’s a lot heavier than what Velvet Revolver has put out [in the past], so I’m dying to put out the quintessential Velvet Revolver record.” [Slash to MTV News, June 2010]

“To be continued! Ha ha ha!” [Corey Taylor to billboard.com after being asked directly about whether or not he is joining Velvet Revolver, January 2011]

[bloody-peach]

Demonic Possession (BATIM smut: Ink Demon x F!Reader) [NSFW]

(art by Hikase555)

Goodie Bag: Vaginal sex, creampie, monster sex, biting/marking, breeding, fluff and smut, dry humping, grinding [please let me know if i'm missing anything].

Now Playing: The Rigs - Devil's Playground (click here to listen)

Taglist: @omniuravity @eldritch-affair and any other fellow monster/demon fuckers!

~~~♡♡♡~~~

A/N: Oooh man, the monster fucker in me is salivating over Ink Demon rn. I couldn't find a lot of Ink Demon smut (if any) so I made one myself. A few things before we start. 1) The ink demon will not be referred to as Bendy in this, just 'the Ink Demon'. I go against canon and see Bendy and the Ink Demon as separate entities, so it applies here. 2) the look of the Ink Demon in this story is going by hikase555's design. The header image is by them, but here's another one for further reference: [click here]. 3) I had my boyfriend help me with the intro, so if there appears to be a slight disconnect in writing styles at the start, that is why. One last thing: if you ever get confused on how kissing works in this, the kisses work pretty much like how it worked in this image: [click here]. Ok, on with the show!

~~~♡♡♡~~~

Bending through the corridors of the Cycle left closed and locked away, a sound painfully wailed behind the walls. He once found comfort being given form, but now he dreads the very existence left to be his fate; why must ink demons have heat cycles?

The Ink Demon knew that his heat would start today, it started the same time each year (wait, do years even go by in the cycle?). He would usually be able to control it by pleasuring himself in many different ways, and it would usually work, but now he was insatiable. He needed to find a mate or else lose his mind trying to hold off til the end of his cycle, which he knew he couldn't do.

As he ran through the list of potential candidates in his head, a shrill scream rang out through the halls. It wasn't a scream he recognized as anyone from the studio, so he went to investigate. He followed the commotion to find a chase between the Projectionist, and a woman he'd never seen before. A smile grew on the Ink Demon's face. Maybe this was his chance.

-Some time before-

You heard the rumors about the abandoned studio from the 1930s near your apartment from many people, but never really believed them. However, the mystery of what could be inside the surprisingly intact building enticed you to go see for yourself. When you entered the studio, everything around you turned black and sepia. You walked through the halls and explored the many rooms, to the point where it seemed endless.

But you soon found that, unfortunately, you were not alone.

Many humanoid blobs made of ink and morphed versions of the Bendy characters would try to attack you, at an increasingly growing rate. You were able to outrun them, but you started to grow paranoid over whether they'll be back. Nevertheless, you kept exploring, but you carried a makeshift weapon (you found a broken piece of pipe). You walked into a room where there was a projector running, displaying some footage for some TV special with Joey Drew as the host. You took a closer look at the projector, impressed by its ability to still run after all these years. But then, you noticed ink starting to drip down the projector. The ink formed into a puddle and then grew into a body, attaching to the projector. It lifted it off the stand and was now a walking ink being with the projector as its head. The creature turned to you and let out a terrifying shriek, then started to charge at you. You dodged it and ran out of the room, the projector being chasing you.

-Now-

You ran and ran as fast as you could but you could hear that projector being catching up to you. Soon, to your horror, you hit a dead end. You turned to see your demise coming closer and closer. You put your arms up in a defensive position and shut your eyes tight, waiting for a swift death. But then there was a loud sound and then, silence. You slowly opened your eyes and saw the projector on the ground, separated from the demon's body. You put your arms down and almost jumped when you saw who killed it.

It was a 7 foot tall, malformed figure with skin made of black ink that almost looked like tar, appearing to have a fit human torso, legs, and arms, but with a very small waist. His head looked like Bendy's, but it looked like someone dumped ink on his head, making him look melted. It covered his eyes, so you couldn't see them, if he even had any. His horns were curved and almost looked like a crescent moon, almost. His smile matched Bendy's, but it was much wider. His left hand had 4 fingers and was wearing a white, ink-stained glove, while the other hand had 5 fingers and wore nothing. While you couldn't help but blush as you looked at him, you noticed that he wasn't trying to attack you. He was just...standing there, looking at you.

He stood motionless, his gaze fixed on you. His presence felt unnerving and sinister as he slowly approached you, a faint smile curling at the corners of his mouth. You started to relax as your fear started to dissipate. When you saw its smile, you couldn’t help but feel a blush appear on your cheeks. The Ink Demon's smile widened as he continued to approach you, his steps slow and deliberate. His gaze, intense and penetrating, never left your face. He then knelt in front of you, his head in front of your chest, which brought a lump to your throat for some reason. Maybe it was the invasion of personal space.

You felt a bit of unease in your stomach due to his gaze, but you figured he was safe, since he saved you from that projector thing. You cautiously reached your hand out and you gently put your hand on his cheek. As your fingers made contact with the Ink Demon's face, his inky skin felt cool and smooth to the touch. The ink didn’t stick to your fingers, much to your surprise. He remained still for a moment before slowly tilting his head slightly, resting his head in your hand, a low purr in his throat. It seemed that he found comfort in your touch.

You reached your other hand to touch his other cheek and you couldn’t help but smile warmly, realizing he wasn’t like the other monsters in this building, and that your assumption of him being safe was right. The Ink Demon's expression seemed to glimmer with a mix of curiosity and something akin to affection as you held his head in your hands. You felt as he slowly placed his large hands around you, like he was holding a doll. The Ink Demon's grip on you was surprisingly gentle, his ink-covered hands enveloping you with an almost protective hold. He was handling you like you were made of glass and if he moved wrong or squeezed you too tight, you’d shatter to pieces.

His gaze remain fixed on your face, his expression filled with a strange sense of connection. You couldn’t deny that you felt that connection too, along with a warm feeling in your chest. You thought about how sweet this demon was being, that maybe this was its true nature. You then thought about how it must’ve been so long since he’s seen anyone here that wasn’t a monster out for blood, and how lonely he must’ve been. After that thought, you felt a sense of compassion for this creature and you leaned forward and laid a soft kiss on his head.

The Ink Demon seemed surprised by the action, because it backed up a bit. You felt like you did something wrong, so you said, “I-I’m sorry. Was that too much..? I..I...” That’s when the Ink Demon slowly shook his head, his face softening as he continued to hold you. He reached up with one hand and gently touched the spot where you kissed him, a small smile forming on his face. Something told you that he really liked that. After that, he lifted you up and took you to another room.

The next thing you knew, you were in a room with a makeshift bed in the middle of the room. Must’ve been where the Ink Demon slept, you figured. As he placed you on the mattress and stood in front of you, you wondered why he brought you here, until you thought more on it.

Why else would someone bring you to their room? Because they want you to stay.

You look at the Ink Demon and ask, “You..want me to stay with you, don’t you?” The Ink Demon's smile widened slightly, and he nodded in response to your question. He released his grip on you but took your hand and gently held it, as if urging you to stay. Well, it wasn’t like there was anything for you outside of the building. You had no one waiting for you, no one to be worried about you if you disappeared. Plus, it’s not like there was a possible exit to this place anyways. So you looked at the demon and smiled, saying, “Alright. I’ll stay with you.” The Ink Demon's eyes lit up with a mixture of gratitude and excitement, then he nuzzled the top of your head and licked your cheek.

You felt a stinging pain on your cheek, so you touched where he licked and there was blood. Turns out you got hurt as you ran away from that Projector Demon. You noticed you got a few scratches on your cheek and on the side of your neck and on your shoulder, all bleeding. “Shit...” you said to yourself. The Ink Demon tilted his head slightly, observing your injuries with a mix of curiosity and concern. Slowly, he went to your cheek again. The Ink Demon’s long, inky tongue snaked out from his mouth and delicately licked at the blood on your wounds. As you felt the stings, you noticed that even though he was terrifying and intimidating, he was still being so gentle with you. As he continued to clean your wounds, a low growl rumbled in his chest, almost as if he was trying to comfort you. You felt a blush form on your cheeks and when you heard his comforting purr, you felt touched that he cared about you enough to comfort you through the pain.

He then moved from your cheek to your neck and shoulder. You felt his hot breath on your neck, his tongue slowly caressing it as he cleaned up the blood. It sent a heat down to your very core and you could feel yourself getting hot from this. As he slid his tongue down to your shoulder wound, you accidentally let out a soft moan. In response, the Ink Demon’s purr deepened as he continued to lick your wounds. His tongue brushed against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. His gaze stayed locked on you as he continued to lick you, seemingly lost in thought.

He went towards the spot between your shoulder and your neck and he growled again, but a bit louder this time. He then bit down gently on your skin, drawing a bit of blood. A small, almost unnoticeable amount of ink dripped from his teeth onto your skin, sinking into the bite as he marked you as his. You gasped softly as he bit you, but not out of pain. The ink seemed to numb any pain the bite would've caused and it actually intensified your heat. You couldn’t help but start to feel aroused from his bite, his tongue, his touch, his everything. The Ink Demon’s growling deepened as he continued to leave more marks on your shoulder, now with more purpose than before. He could sense your arousal, and it only served to fuel his own. He knew that you had to be his mate, there was no denying it. He wanted you oh so badly, his very being was screaming for him to devour you.

You couldn’t help but reach your hands out and touch him. You wanted to feel his skin, to know that what you were experiencing was real. The Ink Demon purred, reveling in the warmth of your touch. You gently touch his arm, trailing your fingers along his slick inky skin. You reached his hand and after feeling his palm and fingers, you gently intertwined your fingers with his, holding his hand. He smiled warmly and leaned down slightly, pressing his forehead against yours and allowing your intertwined fingers to rest between you. You blushed red and you felt a warm and tight feeling in your chest. Were you starting to fall for this gentle beast?

You started to trail your other hand down his chest and along his stomach, feeling how smooth his skin was. The Ink Demon inhaled deeply, his body shuddering slightly at your touch. He gazed at you, his cheeks flushed and his smile so warm and inviting. He reached out with his other hand, placing it on the small of your back and pulling you closer to him. You gasp softly at his touch, sending shivers down your spine. “Y..You can..t..touch me too...i..if you want,” you were able to say softly.

The Ink Demon pressed his lips against yours, the kiss gentle and slow. His hand moved up your back, tracing the curve of your spine and pulling you even closer to him. His other hand trails down your side, resting on your hip as he explored your body. You kissed him back, letting a moan escape into his mouth. The Ink Demon smiled, pulling away from your lips to kiss your cheek and neck. His hand moved down to your thigh, slowly tracing its contours as he pulled you even closer to him. You sighed softly as his fingers traced along your thigh, opening your legs slightly to let him touch even more of you. The Ink Demon's hand moved further up your thigh, slipping beneath the hem of your dress and exploring the smooth skin beneath. He pressed his forehead against yours, letting out a purr and allowing himself to fully experience the sensations that were running through him. You felt your body heat up more as his hand slid up your dress, and you decided to just speed up the process for him. “H..Here...let me help you..”

You undid your dress and let it slide off of you, leaving you nude except for your panties. You heard a deep lust-filled purr in his throat once you were nude. He gently laid you onto the mattress, ready to prepare you for him. The Ink Demon moved his hand up to your breast, squeezing it gently and exploring the contours of your body with his fingertips as he kissed your neck and shoulder, licking the fresh bite mark and your wounds. He pressed his groin against yours, feeling the heat between your legs as he explored your body with his hands, mouth, and tongue. You moaned as you felt the heat from between his legs touch yours. You couldn't help but slowly rub your groin against his, so he felt as good as he was making you feel.

The Ink Demon smiled, admiring your desire for him. His hand moved up to your face, cupping your cheek as he leaned in to kiss your lips again. He pressed his groin against yours, feeling your warm, wet center against him as you both move against each other, your bodies intertwined and your breaths becoming heavier and faster. The Ink Demon moved his hips against yours, feeling your body shudder with pleasure as you came closer and closer to release. He slipped his hand down to your panties, feeling the wetness between your legs as he ripped them off, exposing you to him completely.

Once your panties were gone, you felt something touch your pussy. You look down and you saw something growing from his groin, which formed into a large cock, matching his skin. The Ink Demon smirked as he grabbed your thighs and rubbed his cock on your pussy for a bit, until he slipped his hand between your bodies, guiding his cock inside of you, gripping both your thighs and slowly pushing himself deep inside. You couldn’t help but let out a moan as he stretched your walls so deliciously. He leaned forward, grabbed your jaw, and kissed your lips, his tongue exploring your mouth as he feels your body writhe beneath him. He started doing long and deep thrusts, your bodies entwined and your breath coming in short, gasping breaths as you both feel the pleasure building within you both.

You had never felt this sort of ecstasy before in your life, not even with any other partner. This thing was reaching depths you never knew were possible, sensitive spots you didn’t even know you had. “Ahh..! S..So..good..!!” you couldn’t help but let out of your lips once he broke the kiss. The Ink Demon's hand moved down to your ass, squeezing it gently as he thrusted into you, feeling your body shudder with pleasure. He kissed your neck and shoulder, his tongue exploring the contours of your skin as you both come closer and closer to release. He could feel his cock throb inside of you, the pleasure building within him as he moved faster and faster, feeling her body writhe beneath him.

He changed position slightly as he lost himself in the pleasure, grabbing your wrists and putting them above your head, your legs a bit in the air as he leaned towards you more and thrusted harder into you. You moaned at each thrust, trying not to cry out loud. The Ink Demon let his tongue out and licked up your belly and breasts as he fucked you so well. Ink dripped from his tongue, leaving trails on your body, like you were his canvas for his lust-filled creation.

He kissed your lips once again, feeling your tongue explore his mouth as you both came closer and closer to release. Finally, he felt your body convulse beneath him, your pussy clenching around his cock as you came, your moans filling the air as you cry out in ecstasy. He follows soon after, letting out a primal roar and feeling his cock throb as he filled you full with his hot, sticky seed. You felt like you were in another realm than you were as the pleasure from your release flowed throughout your body and you arched your back. All that existed was your full womb, the cock inside you, your body, and pleasure. You could feel his seed fill your belly so much that the sensation caused a second orgasm to rock your body.

Once you come back to reality, you both stay like that for a moment, your bodies intertwined and covered in each others’ cum as you both caught your breath, before the Ink Demon collapsed onto the bed, laying next to you and pulling you close. The Ink Demon kissed your cheek, feeling your smile as you both lay there, your hearts pounding in your chests. You hugged him close, your head resting on his chest. He then leaned to your ear and whispered in a deep, gravelly voice, “I love you.” While you were a bit surprised he could actually talk, you felt warmth flood your heart and you smile, kissing his cheek before saying, “I love you too.” The Ink Demon smiled, feeling his heart swell with warmth as he hugged you tightly. He rested his chin on top of your head, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of your warm body pressed against his. You both lay there, holding each other close, until eventually, you both fall asleep, your bodies still intertwined.

‘I think I’m going to love this new life,’ you thought to yourself before letting sleep take you.

~~~♡♡♡~~~

[inkdemonapologist]

!!!!!!!!!!! New Cthulhu Season has started!! this time featuring:

The band at our fancy party started playing a song that Sammy INSTANTLY recognised as his own improv, played a year and some change ago from the balcony of a New Orleans hotel to calm his nerves, which really should not be turning up perfectly replicated here and unsettled him so much that he ended up trying to communicate this to Jack in the LEAST CLEAR WAY IMAGINABLE

we got a supernatural partycrasher at the fancy party which means wE GOT PROPHET IN A SUIT!!! FANCY PROPHET FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES!! his previously prophesied warning of what was to come included the phrase "a report that silences the tongue of ythill," which is apparently what this was, and he got SO EXCITED about the appearance of this weird man making people bleed from the eyes that he booted Sammy from the front to take it all in. THE TIME IS FINALLY AT HAND!!!

i also have a lil smattering of out-of-context quotes from session 1 if ur into that sort of thing: here under the cut!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] Aw, there's no snow in the year before, so probably no snowball fights for Christmas, [GM] Well, we can invent our own, that's fine. [Sammy] It's the ONE difference! IDENTICAL TO OUR WORLD, except for on December 25th there was snow, don't worry about it. [GM] And tape recorders! [Sammy] There's tape recorders, and there was snow on December 25th, 1934. [Sammy] AND ALSO CTHULHU IS REAL. But other than that it's exactly the same. [GM] That's it, just those little things. [Henry] A minor detail.

[GM] Another question: Christmas is on a Tuesday, does the Studio get days off? [Joey] In the Cthulhu universe, yes… And It's All Henry's Fault.

[Jack] Anyone who failed their Sanity gain checks in '35 -- it's the anticipation. [Sammy] Yeah, it's just driving you absolutely bonkers that this prophecy still hasn't happened, can it go ahead and get it over with? I hate having this hanging over my head! [Sammy] And if you PASS your sanity check, and gained sanity, it could be that you're just INCREASINGLY IN DENIAL. Like, you know what? Maybe he forgot!

[Jack] Jack's the most likely to keep up with these poor people we keep roping into our nonsense! [Joey] Hey, HEY! [Jack] "Welcome to the group! You're only here for a little bit, but have some trauma! Trauma for you! And trauma for you! BYE"

[Sammy] We're like Absol. We're not CAUSING the trouble, but it IS in our wake, constantly. [Jack] Absol is 100% a modern teenage Joey Drew's fursona. [Joey] ….Yeah…

[Henry] Is it an easier apartment to get to, for Joey, than the one he has? [Joey] That is a really good question. [GM] It has ONE flight of stairs, but it doesn't have ten zillion flights, so I mean, it's better, probably! It DID have an evil ritual in it,

[Jack] *reading the inflation calculator* $1,000 in 1935 is… 22 thousand.. and a half… dollars????? [Joey] GREAT! *claps* STUDIO'S FUNDED! :D [Jack] Joey, no, [Sammy] You can do that with YOUR money, [Joey] I mean, that IS what's going to happen to Joey's money, Joey's just going to immediately dump it into the studio. Grant gets a LOVELY holiday present where suddenly, the numbers are not in the red anymore! [GM] This is how Grant doesn't become the final boss. [Sammy] Is that a present? IS THAT A PRESENT??? Grant looks at the numbers and they're suddenly bigger? WHAT'S HAPPENING [Jack] Sounds like a tax nightmare… he assumes his mind is broken, he's gone delusional, [Sammy] Joey's not thinking about how this affects TAXES he's just like, OH BOY! More money! Grant'll work that out. :) [Joey] Yeah! :D

[Sammy] Oh wow, mistletoe's been around for a while. [Sammy] …I say, as if mistletoe, the plant, is newly invented,

[Jack] We need to even the playing field; Henry's the highest, we need to drag him down to our level!

[GM] Let's say it's just you guys, and Peter and Susie, and Norman took off. [Sammy] Aw, don't wanna stay late? Old man, gotta get to bed? [GM] Maybe not if people are saying THAT at him,

*after finding a major ice rink was not built until 1936* [GM] Well, maybe everyone can do that when they DEFINITELY survive and come out victorious next year! :) [Sammy] ….survive?! Nothing's happened! It's a CHRISTMAS PARTY. [Jack] I HOPE we're surviving the Christmas Party, the food's not THAT bad, is it? [Henry] We solved your Christmas puzzle! [Jack] The Christmas Puzzle is how much food can we trick Joey into eating by handing it to him,

[Jack] Oh no, Spark's gone to… CATCOSA…. !

[Sammy] That's fine, Disney still hasn't caught up with us, so. [Jack] Well they're havin' this whole weird issue with like, ink and cultists, it's a bit weird… bunch of the staff started going missing…? [Sammy] *laughing* The entirety of Bendy and the Ink Machine happens, just OVER THERE. We averted it so now Disney has to do it.

[Henry] I will say, Henry's been a little uneasy all day. This doesn't affect anything, it's just for flavour. [GM] But he is in a really nice suit! [Sammy] Well THAT's why he's uneasy. They had to smooth his hair, and he's in a whole suit, [GM] In a vest that actually fits, [Henry] Unrecognisable. [Jack] Who is this stranger?

[GM] Make spot (hidden) checks! [Jack] *whispering* I hope it's Norman. [GM] Both of you spot a familiar face, before he's able to come accost you -- it's not Norman, it's Denis! [Sammy] oh gosh. [Joey] Well… I don't know if that's better or worse than my initial guess of Avedon,

[GM] He greets you all cheerful-like, "fancy meeting you here!" sort of thing-- [Sammy] Sammy still doesn't shake his hand. [GM] --he knows you as Joseph, doesn't he? [Joey] Oh no…. Joey was trying to hide his name in New Orleans… [Jack] That's fine, it's all about reinvention!

[Sammy] You know how in the Illusion of Living, Wally comes up and Joey randomly starts talking about how he's a great guy and a hard worker, and you're like, we were talking about something else ten seconds ago Joey PLEASE stay focused, [Sammy] Anyway, I'm imagining that but with Peter?

[Sammy] The Studio just had a big release last year, and I just got this really nice car! and *mumbling* those events aren't actually connected, BUT!! Through the power of leaving out the middle bit, you can assume they are!

[GM] Sammy, make a listen check! [Sammy] EXTREME SUCCESS, I rolled a THREE. [GM] Oh cool! Make a sanity check! [Sammy] oh no,,, [Joey] *Mario voice* HERE WE GO!

[Sammy] Sammy is gonna look at Joey, see that Joey is like…. in the midst of a conversational manoeuvre, and go, run try to find Jack. I don't know if he'll GET there, but, [GM] He can at least locate Jack, I would think, unless Jack is in a back room kissing boys or whatnot!

[GM] This guy is wearing a really severe, matte black suit, and has unnaturally white skin, his hair is black and very oiled in a severe widow's peak-- [Jack] It's him! Bendy Inkmachine!! [GM] I'm reading this description RIGHT from the book, I need you to know that.

[GM] The music's also definitely come to a stop, while all this was going on. And then there's a gunshot! And now there's just a big, yknow, panic, like you get! [Jack] Avedon's here! [Sammy] There'd be more French-accented yelling if Avedon were here. [Joey] I like how we're just going to end up willing Avedon into this scenario by making repeated "Avedon's here" jokes, [Jack] I mean, I've been trying to do the same with Norman, but it's either not working, or we haven't rolled Spot high enough to find him yet!

[GM] You guys get interviewed and asked what you saw, and what happened! [Sammy] …hang on, I gotta roll a check. [Sammy] *rolls* … OKAY COOL Sammy's back. [Joey] *laughing* Sammy interview, or Prophet interview? [Sammy] They were going to get a REALLY interesting interview if I rolled better on willpower!

[GM] Do you suppose Joey would've helped Susie shop for a dress that she could conceal a firearm in? [Joey] [Joey] sURE! [Joey] I mean I feel like, "would Joey help Susie shop for a dress," stop the sentence there: absolutely yes. There's other things to consider with dress? Well that just makes it a fun challenge now!

[GM] The police ask you what you saw. What do you tell them, about your experiences this evening? [Sammy] Sammy didn't see a lot. There was some commotion and a gunshot. [Joey] Yeah, I think Joey's just going to report that he just heard commotion happening up front, and quickly decided that he wasn't interested in commotion!

[Henry] Who was it who saw people with bloody eyes? [Sammy] Uh, that was Sammy, he's not mentioning that part.

[Jack] *rolls* Normal success for Jack. [Henry] *rolls* Hard success! [Sammy] *rolls* EXTREME success, I rolled a ten! [Joey] *rolls* …what's the fumble point, again?

[GM, as Denis] "There was a yellow sign at the Mardi Gras party last year! I thought it was a lucky charm, but I guess… it wasn't? I had a friend who said it wasn't, actually. You should watch out for those signs. Yes." [Joey] *so tired* Okay, that's… that's fine… [Henry] "Very helpful, thank you." [Jack] (This guy's great, can we keep him?) [Joey] (NO.)

[Henry] Henry is going to have so much anxiety. Like, just in general, but over this, too. [Sammy] "going to"??? [Henry] *laughing* No, you're right. What I'm learning is that Henry CAN slide into being mostly even-headed about crises, but he has to have a moment of "Oh God, oh fuck, oh geez" first. [GM] I think Peter does that in reverse. [Sammy] Yeah, that makes sense -- Sammy just shoots straight for "OH COOL, WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!"

[GM] How much do you suppose these boys are up on vernacular and slang? [Henry] Henry might've picked up something from his kids, that's all I've got [Sammy] That's cute… Henry knows what yeet means... [Joey] I WAS ALSO GONNA SAY HENRY KNOWS WHAT YEET MEANS,

[Sammy] I do appreciate Jack being the one to notice that the prophecy might be a pun.

[Sammy] What do we even DO with this? What do we do next… [Joey] *muttering* That's what I've been trying to think of for the last like… half hour, Sammy…! [Joey] This isn't Joey-voice, this is just me-voice. [Jack] Yeah, Joey would never admit weakness in front of Peter Sunstram. [Joey] Yeah. Correct.

[Jack] Well if anyone else wants coffee, Jack might end up makin' some! [Jack] You know, that 11:30 coffee.

[Sammy] "Well, if he plays clarinet, let us know." [GM] Peter tips his head as if he's thinking of looking that up -- not looking it up, looking into it! [Jack] Yeah, just google it, Pete! What are you waiting for! [GM] On his cell phone, [Jack] You gotta pull out your Bendyphone! [Sammy] JDS is responsible for all anachronistic devices.

[Jack] Is It An Insanity Or Is It Just The ADHD

[Joey] Is Joey gonna make stupid decisions…? [Sammy] JOEY,,, [Sammy] Augh, I should've gone with him, [Joey] *rolls* *starts cackling maniacally* [Jack] *deadpan* Oh gee I wonder what the result is, [Joey] *audibly grinning* Joey might try to dream spell… Y? [Sammy] WHAT?! [Henry] Joey what are you doing…. [Sammy] JOEY DREW!!!

[Henry] I roll to see if Henry's "Joey's Doing Something Stupid" senses are tingling [Joey] Yeah, I think it's fair for Henry to have a "Is Joey Doing Something Stupid" sense that goes off fifty percent of the time, [Sammy] It's NOT USEFUL because it's ALWAYS HAPPENING,

[morbidology]

Amy Fisher, born in Merrick, New York, gained infamy in 1992 when, at age 17, she was arrested for the attempted murder of Mary Jo Buttafuoco. The incident stemmed from a tumultuous relationship with Joey Buttafuoco, a 35-year-old auto body shop owner who allegedly had groomed Fisher while she was a minor.

To gain his attention, Fisher repeatedly damaged her car as an excuse to visit his shop. After hearing Joey's frustrations about his wife, Fisher acquired a .25-caliber handgun and went to the Buttafuoco home, where a confrontation ended in Mary Jo being shot in the head. Remarkably, Mary Jo survived, though with severe injuries, leading to Fisher’s arrest and conviction.

Fisher’s trial quickly became a tabloid sensation. Her recorded conversations, including one with gym owner Paul Makely, exposed her willingness to leverage the scandal for fame, stating she wanted "her name in the press" to benefit financially. She accepted a plea deal, pleading guilty to first-degree assault, and served seven years in prison. Joey Buttafuoco initially denied the grooming, though he was later convicted of statutory rape after Fisher provided receipts and testimony confirming their relationship.

After her release, Fisher pursued a variety of public endeavors, including a column in The Long Island Press and publishing her biography, If I Knew Then.... In the years that followed, she faced controversy once more when her husband sold a sex tape of her, which she initially sued to prevent, later agreeing to promotional appearances. This shifted her career into adult entertainment, where she performed in films and worked as a stripper for several years before stepping away from the industry.

In later years, Fisher appeared on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, navigating the fallout of her early notoriety. Her life has been a continual source of media intrigue, particularly after reunions with both Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco.

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Singer!FemReader

Summary: When the secret relationship between a famous singer and a popular quarterback is revealed no one could be happier. But when lyrics to an unreleased song are released, the strength of their relationship is questioned and tested when fans, reporters and exes start coming into the mix. Will you get your happy ending or is this the beginning of the end?

Chapter 13: 'i love you, goodnight' tour

#Track9 Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, mentions of sex, foul language.

Part One🖤

Word Count: 1.2k

Anxiety courses through your veins like hot lava as you wait for your name to be announced. You haven't done a live appearance like this since before you and Joe went public with your relationship, not one with an audience that is. During rehearsals Jimmy reassured you that it would be more fun than stressful, but that does not include the buildup to it. Usually you’d be texting or talking to Joey right now but he’s knee deep in meetings across the country so thats not an option. So its just you and your nerves.

“For tonight’s musical guest, we have the incredibly talented and beautiful Venus, she will be singing her latest single off of her new album ‘Tell Me You Love Me,’ everyone allow me to introduce Venus to the stage.”

 I guess that’s my cue.

Walking out to the lively applause and the smiling host helps you shed some of the nervousness that plagued you earlier. You and Jimmy share a quick hug before turning towards the audience and smiling and waving back.

“Venus, everyone. Wow, they might love you more than me.” He jokes as you both take your seats.

“Well, I love everyone here equally.” You wink at the audience causing a wave of laughter. “Thank you so much for having me, Jimmy.”

“The pleasure is all mine, the last time you were here you had just won your first grammy’s and there was someone else with you backstage that we’re missing today.” He lightly smirked. Fantastic start right.

“Its crazy that it was only a little over a year ago when my life completely changed. Then even more so in the last few weeks, everything is absolutely insane and I wouldn't wish for it any other way.” You widely grinned, dusting off the last part of his question.

“Thats great,” he says then pulls up a photo of you at the SuperBowl. “You surprised everyone when you joined Usher at this year’s SuperBowl, tell us how this came about.”

Your eyes crinkled up as the memory flooded your brain. “Of course, so for those who don’t know Usher is one of the big industry people that discovered me way back when, so he’s been like my mentor ever since. He called me in about November and told me that he was going to

headlining it and I was ecstatic for him. It was about time we had an Atlanta centered show, and then he asked me if I wanted to join him. I immediately said yes, like Usher just asked me to perform with him, I don't care what stage we’re on or even the fact that I know him personally. The man is an absolute legend and it was an honor to share the stage with him. Being apart of his surprise guests was so exciting and I was starstruck the entire time.” 

“Thats incredible, you were amazing up there and I hope we see you headlining it someday.” He winked.

“Who knows what the future holds.” You chuckled.

Then a picture of you and a certain someone shows up on the screen behind you cause the audience to start hollering and your face to heat up a bit. “Oh what do we have here, I have no idea how that got up there.” You smiled then shook your head.

“I’m just going to ask the question and see how far you want to go. How did this happen, where did this romance come from?” He says hiding his face behind his cards.

“God, I’d like to say that I don’t know, but that’s not true. You can thank LSU for that, we met at the beginning of our senior year and became really fast friends. There was always some kind of attraction on both ends, but we didn’t do anything about that until two years later. And we’ve been together ever since.”

“That’s cute, you guys look great together. So were together during your first appearance?”

“Yea, he was backstage with me trying to stop me from freaking out about performing for y'all.” Everyone cracked up at that one.

“I don’t know how you could be nervous about this, you are absolutely killing it. Now lets talk about the album, this track 9 controversy, what happened?”

“My lack of media training happened,” you huffed. “Im joking, but not really. I was really excited to put out this project and even more ready to actually show the world who I dedicated it to. I worked on this album for a really long time, it was like journaling an adventure and the hardest part was finding a way to condense 5 years into one album. In the end, we were all satisfied with what we made then what I thought was going to be a fun little peak at track 9 turned into absolute chaos.”

“For a few weeks, it seemed like every media outlet could not stop talking about this song and really giving Joe a bad rep in the process.”

“One that wasn’t deserved at all. Joe was such a good sport through the whole thing because he’s such a laid back guy. While I was basically preparing for war, he was the one calming me down about it. Everything was so fresh to the outside world that people just took it to an extreme that it was no where near. When artists release a body of work, I think fans skip past the time element. That particular song was written before I was even signed, I was still working my regular 9 to 5 in Louisiana and using songwriting as a way to cope with my feelings. And its extremely dramatized. For something to be entertaining that might be banal to most, you amp it up and Track 9 was taken from a 4 to a 10 in one session. By the time we were putting together this album, Leon Thomas III, absolutely incredible musician and producer, heard it and decided to rework it. When he was finished, everyone in the room was in love with it, we almost made it a single.”

“Its funny how things like that happen. Before we let you go and hit that stage, give us a little about the song you will be performing in a bit.”

“Absolutely, earlier this week I released ‘Prayer for the Broken’ as a single because I wanted to be able to give to communities that are struggling right now. This song is about how love is the only thing that can fix our broken world so all the proceeds that it brings in will be donated to multiple charities around the world, to help people and communities in horrid conditions. These charities are on my website so if anyone wants to donate straight to them, please do. This song means a lot to me and I hope everyone loves hearing it live.”

“Tonight only?”

“Live tonight AND this summer when I go on my ‘i love you, goodnight’ tour. I hope to see you all there and maybe I’ll bring some friends along too.”

🝮

“Ladies and Gentlemen give it up once again for Venus!”

<<<Previous Chapter | Next Part>>>

Main Masterlist

[fritz-federleicht]

You should do Corey, Joey, and Jim with reader who’s a model!

... with reader who's a model (Corey, Joey & Jim)

Words: 968

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Corey:

- you remember many years ago when the first headline came up: Model Y/N and singer Corey Taylor a couple?

- that was the first time you were photographed together, Corey grinning and holding your hand while you laughed at one of his jokes

- he accompanied you to your apartment

- after that there were more and more rumors, positive and negative. Whereby it was more negative against Corey

- there were articles about your relationship. Why is a model like you with a bad boy like Corey Taylor? Or what do you see in him? Your relationship was not official yet

- you were not too famous as a model. You got jobs you liked to do. But there was one person you liked modeling for the most. And you do it over and over again. For Corey... well actually Slipknot. At some point he asked you if you could model for the store. Of course you didn't hesitate and said yes right away. Since then you model for every new collection

- when people suddenly saw you on the website it was clear that you and Corey are a couple. You officially confirmed your relationship

- all the attention didn't hurt you no. On the contrary. You got more jobs for designers that never considered you before

- whenever possible Corey accompanies you to fashion shows, sits in the audience and looks at you in love

- part of all the headlines were true. Corey was a bad boy. That's how you came to know and love him. But he quickly changed, became calmer and more relaxed because he finally had the love of his life with him

- eventually, all the headlines about you guys died down. The next ones were years later when you got married and later had your first child

- despite the fact that you are often far away from each other your relationship has lasted over the years and you are happy together

- Slipknot fans only know you as a couple

Joey:

- It is unusual to have a metal band as a guest at a fashion show, this night was probably the first time ever (maybe just because you begged the promoter to invite Joey)

- Slipknot is standing in front of the building, masks on and giving interviews

- you just wanted to check if they are already there, Joey sees you out of the corner of his eye and grins proudly under his mask

- next to him is Shawn answering a reporter's question

- you can't help it. You scurry to Joey and kiss the cheek of his mask, you can literally feel his smile

- as quickly as you came you are gone, the reporter and Shawn look confused. "Was that Y/N?"

- later the show starts, you look like a decorated Christmas tree

- you are supposed to end the show with your walk

- when it's finally time, you step onto the catwalk

- all nine members are sitting in the front row, Joey is sitting at the head

- it looks a bit funny, the men are sitting there bored in suits and masks

- when they see you they straighten up in their seats and watch your performance

- you pose at the end of the runway and turn around, wink at your boyfriend and disappear behind the wall

- Joey is speechless. How can you move so gracefully and seductively at the same time?

- Chris leans toward Joey, the long nose of his mask touching Joey's shoulder. He whispers. "You're really lucky." He pats your boyfriend's shoulder appreciatively

- after the show, pictures are taken with the models. Slipknot comes up to you immediately. They congratulate you on the successful performance

- Joey puts his arm around you. "You were wonderful honey."

- the photographer comes to your group and asks if he can take pictures, you agree

- Joey pulls you to his chest, the other members stand next to your sides like bodyguards

- days later the pictures appear in different fashion magazines, you find the strong contrast between your colorful outfit and the black suits funny

- in the future Joey accompanies you whenever he can

Jim:

- he really tries to be at every photo shoot or fashion show, to support you

- in the beginning he was not liked by the photographers because... well he is in Slipknot. But once they get to know him they find him quite nice. What should he do? Yell at everyone for no reason and destroy everything?

- when you're elegantly lolling in front of the camera he cheers you on, says things like "You look fantastic babe."

- in the breaks he comes to you immediately, asks if you are well, if you have eaten and drunk enough

- sometimes it happens that you model in your underwear, which Jim likes the most

- when you come out of the dressing room and are perfectly made up, he stands there with his mouth open

- when he first saw you like this, he came to you and said softly in your ear. "I think I'm in heaven. I just saw an angel."

- you slap his arm laughing, you've never heard such a corny line from his mouth before

- today he just stares at you, when you stand in front of a white wall and the light caresses you perfectly, nothing makes him happier than to see you like this

- when he then sees the resulting pictures... according to him they should be 'forbidden', no one else should get to see something like that except him...

- Jim keeps all the articles and pictures about you, he says he wants to show them to your kids later so they know how beautiful you are, but you know he just keeps them so he always has something of you with him on tour

[lordvikdreemurr]

Sammy Lawrence x Reader

smut<3

fem!reader btw!! Sammy is dom!

Sammy has been so needy all those years, deprived of any kind of touch and he recognize his favorite girl in the old workshop MEOOWW<3

(we don't have enough batim x reader💪 uh first time writing smut like that yk GRRR, lemme know if its good?)

You worked in this workshop a long time ago. Joey Drew Studios.

After everything had closed you decided to return there for the nostalgia and good memories spent working in this place you cherished so much. But when you stepped in here you heard the door close behind you and immediately panicked when it didn't open.

"What the fuck?..." You mumbled under your breath.

You looked behind you, it wasn't really welcoming anymore, you hesitantly started walking in. Ink dripping down the walls, the floor beneath you squeaked, you had an uneasy feeling.

You began to revisit the place, recognizing every part of the studio.

"AH!"

You went back into a corridor, a cardboard cutout of Bendy was placed there. In front of you. Although it was not here the first time you walked here. You stared at it as you walked past him. You turned your head and your eyes widened, a sort of...Boris, dead. Not just dead, His whole stomach...we could see his bones and you were disgusted, you had to leave.

You hurried your steps, you had to find items for this stupid ink machine. After gathering everything you went back to check on the machine but...... Was the door barricaded now?...

You approached it slowly.

You let out a scream as a creature appeared behind the boards, you gasped and didn't even have time to look at him that you were running for you life, ink was everywhere now, It drowned your feet, what the hell was happening. Didn't have time to think.

You made your way back to where you came from, the door. It was open. But before you could get to it the floor under you broke and you falled.

Ink splashed, it was really annoying. You got up and sighed, how long until this adventure would be done ? You frowned.

-

This place had become very big, you kept your axe in your hands as you continued on your way, you arrived in front of a inky path and stepped in it as you started making your way to the end of it you spotted someone passing by, holding a cardboard cutout of bendy under his arm, you could see his whole body was covered in ink. "Excuse me!? Hey! Can you help me?!"

You tried to get faster there and when you tried to see from where he left he wasn't there. Just a Bendy, again. Against a wall with a pentagram. You groaned and hit the bendy cutout with your axe. "Ugh! Seriously?!"

Later you arrived to the music department, after getting rid of monsters you approached a tape and made it work. You heard a familiar voice, and you knew who it was anyways. Sammy. It felt like forever, his voice was always relaxing and calm. Once was a time you were in love with him. You loved him so much, a small smile appeared on your lips as you brought back the memories, you had to get going though, so you walked away from it, holding tightly the axe.

You walked, you were starting to become familiar with the place again, even after the whole monster things and demon weird shit going on there. You turned around feeling a presence behind you, just to make s—

...

What the fuck. The man you saw earlier stayed still as he kept his shovel up in the air, was he going to fucking hit you and you caught him red handed?? Oh that was an awkward situation to be in... He silently stayed still before he grabbed your axe with a hand and pulled on it, getting you closer to him. You gasped as he got it out your hands and he threw it behind him. He then pushed you down on the floor, falling on your butt, you looked up at him as he got on his knees on top of you, you couldn't see his face behind that fucking mask, he grabbed your throat with his cold and inky hand and pushed you down to lay on the hard wooden floor on your back. "Urgh!" "Shh..Stay still."

This voice. "..Wha..." You stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before finally saying something. "Sammy?.." You could tell he got caught off guard. He rapproched his masked face close to yours, like he was analysing you. "....Y/N?" He said your name quietly. "I didn't expect to see you. How cute it is from you to come down there and visit me, my dear Y/N."

He placed down the shovel next to him and completely sat down on you, he leaned down. You frowned, annoyed. "What the hell happened here? And you..You.." "I know. Isn't it a beautiful place. Kept by our lord. And this body. What do you think happened my dear ?" You grabbed his wrist with your hands, it wasn't very comfortable having him grab your throat that roughly. "I've been rotting here for 30 years. I became something else." "Urgh..I saw that. God, Sammy..I missed you but can you remove your hand? Need to breath a lil y'know.." You weren't even going to question why he wanted to knock you out 5 minutes ago, you were even lucky you were still alive. He removed his hand and placed it on your cheek instead, you were a little bit surprised by the move. He brought his other hand up to his mask and raised it slightly up his mouth. You raised an eyebrow, confused before he placed his lips on yours, kissing you passionately. You didn't immediately kiss him back, still processing, your cheeks heated up. He breathed heavily, kissing you a bit more roughly and pushing his tongue in your mouth, getting a soft moan out of your lips, he loved this sound. He brought his hand down your waist, slipping it under your shirt to grab your breast and massage it slowly, he pulled away, you both catched your breath. He smirked slightly, enjoying your vulnerability as he sat still on you. "You really are a blessing from him, he blessed me with your divine presence, my love."

You quickly looked away, nervous. Everything was going a bit too fast for you to clearly understand what the fuck was going on. You hadn't seen him for 30 YEARS.

He stopped massaging your breast, bringing down his hand to your pants, he removed them quickly out of the way and looked down at your panties. You blushed heavily, he removed it too and lowered his suspenders, he lowered his overalls until he revealed his lenght, your lips parted slightly and looked up at him. "Are you sure about this? Right here?..." You asked quietly, unsure. He licked his lips, looking down at you, he placed himself between your legs. With a small smirk he grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around his hips. "C'mere."

You felt the tip of his hardened cock at your entrance before he pushed himself in you, earning a loud moan from you, you swear you heard him chuckle as you covered your mouth with your hand. "Oh no my dear, let those pretty sounds be heard. Its the most beautiful melody to my ears.." You gulped, hesitant. "What if someone hear us!?" You asked, worried about this whole thing. "Shh.. Don't worry, dearest. Now let me.." He started moving slowly in you, moving his hips. You whimpered softly, your cheeks red. Sammy was enjoying this as much as you, he grunted softly as he started speeding up, gripping your thighs. God, he haven't had pussy in years, but here you were, you were his.

He felt your walls clenching around his cock as he pounded in you and he lived for it, your reactions were so cute. He was panting looking into your eyes as he wanted to watch your every reactions.

He wanted to feel, mark, and own you, you were his to have and he was going to fuck you so hard the only word you would remember would be— "Sammy! Hh..!~" You moaned out his name, arching your back, wrapping your arms around his neck. He breathed heavily and leaned down, starting kissing you roughly, your muffled moans against his lips.

Skin slapping against skin. It almost echoed in the corridor.

You were surprised no one walked in here seeing you two fuck like animals. "Oh my love..I—..Ff..uuck..." He came inside you without warning and your orgasm didn't take long to come right after, cum dripping down your soaked hole. He pulled away from you and looked down at his art work, you grabbed his shoulders and pulled his body back against yours. "Huh?" "I love you, Sammy..." You breathed out, still panting. He smiled softly at you and placed a small kiss on your lips. "I love you too, dearest."

[crazyw3irdo]

THAT FUCKING RULED

Nerdy Prudes Must Die come out on YouTube today!!

Also they've finished making Workin' Boys, and they've scheduled performances

sooooon !!!!

[justtrash202]

Teenage au! Joey Beetles Headcannon

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about how Joey Beetles would fit into my KND teenage AU, and here’s how I personally see him! These are just my headcanons for his character when he’s still a kid, growing up alongside Sector V as they transition into their teenage years.

Appearance: Joey stands at 4'3" with sun-kissed skin and a warm, lively appearance, his face adorned with baby freckles across his cheeks and nose, which complement his bright blue eyes full of curiosity and sensitivity. His messy blonde bowl-cut hairstyle, reminiscent of his brother Wally’s look, gives him a softer, more innocent charm. A small burnt mark rests on his right cheek, a lasting reminder of a past accident, while a faint scar from a shark bite on his left shoulder symbolizes his resilience. His smile, complete with a missing front tooth on his left side, adds a touch of youthful innocence. Joey’s outfit, a blend of practicality and personality, includes an oversized orange hoodie handed down from Wally, with a Rainbow Monkey patch sewn over a rip, a white shirt underneath, and blue pants folded at the ends. His black and white sneakers are perfect for his adventures, and his goggles, often perched on his head or around his neck, reflect his passion for 2x4 tech. Joey’s overall look captures his loyalty, inventive spirit, and budding individuality, all while carrying the marks of his past and dreams for the future.

Personality: Joey is a thoughtful and sensitive child who idolizes his older brother, Wally, but expresses his admiration in his own unique way. While he shares Wally’s loyalty, bravery, and mischievous streak, Joey is more cautious and introspective, often overthinking situations rather than diving in headfirst. He struggles with anxiety and self-confidence, sometimes doubting his own strength because he doesn’t fit the traditional mold of toughness. However, his resourcefulness, creativity, and compassionate heart make him a valuable ally to those around him. Despite his gentler nature, Joey fully embraces his role as the younger sibling, constantly pushing Wally’s buttons just for fun. He has a habit of sneaking into Wally’s room, touching his stuff, flipping through his sketchbooks, or swiping his favorite snacks, all to get a reaction. His pranks, though harmless, are relentless—hiding Wally’s hoodie, replacing his shampoo, or putting stickers on his back just to hear him yell. Their relationship is built on playful rivalry, but Joey deeply respects Wally and secretly craves his approval, always wanting to prove that he can be strong and capable in his own way. He admires Wally’s boldness and wishes he could be as fearless, yet he is slowly learning that courage comes in many forms. Though he doesn’t always see it, his determination and heart make him just as strong as his older brother, and he would do anything to protect the people he loves—even if it means standing up to his own fears.

Headcannons

Thoughtful Strategist: Joey prefers planning over rushing into situations, always thinking ahead before taking action. He enjoys sketching out ideas for missions or coming up with backup plans, even if Wally rarely follows them. While his overthinking can slow him down, his careful approach often proves invaluable when things don’t go as expected.

Hidden Bravery: Despite his anxiety, Joey has a quiet kind of courage that shines in unexpected moments. He doesn’t seek the spotlight but will stand up for his friends when it truly matters. Whether it’s speaking up when something feels wrong or pushing past his fears to help others, Joey proves that bravery isn’t about being fearless—it’s about acting despite fear.

Protective Younger Brother: Joey may be the little brother, but he worries about Wally just as much as Wally worries about him. He’s quick to patch up his brother’s scrapes and bruises, often lecturing him in the process. Though Wally doesn’t always take his concerns seriously, Joey’s protective instincts make it clear that he’s always looking out for his big brother in his own way.

Empathy as a Superpower: Joey has a natural ability to pick up on other people’s emotions, even when they try to hide them. He often senses when someone is upset before they even say a word. Whether it’s offering a small distraction, lending a listening ear, or simply sitting beside them in silence, Joey’s quiet kindness makes him someone people trust.

Struggles with Masculinity: Because he’s more sensitive and introspective, Joey sometimes doubts if he’s “tough enough” compared to Wally. He occasionally tries to act tougher, mimicking his brother’s confidence, but it never feels quite right. Over time, he learns that strength comes in different forms and that his kindness and intelligence are just as important as physical toughness.

The Fixer: Joey hates seeing anything broken, whether it’s a gadget, a plan, or even friendships. He’ll tinker with inventions until they work again and quietly try to mend conflicts between friends. However, he sometimes takes on too much responsibility, feeling like it’s his job to fix everything, even when it’s beyond his control.

Rambling When Nervous: When Joey gets nervous or scared, his mouth starts running a mile a minute, and he can’t seem to stop himself. His rambling is a mix of nonsense, frantic questions, and awkward jokes that don’t always make sense but serve as his way of coping with anxiety. The more panicked he gets, the faster he talks, often jumping from one topic to another with no real connection. If he’s in a stressful situation, he might start rattling off random facts, over-explaining things that don’t need explaining, or making bad puns in an attempt to lighten the mood. Wally and his dad have learned that Joey’s nervous chatter is a clear sign he’s overwhelmed, and while Wally sometimes gets impatient with it, he knows it’s just how Joey processes fear. When things get really bad, Wally will either let him talk until he tires himself out or gently place a hand on his shoulder, grounding him before his spiraling thoughts take over.

Mischievous but Methodical: Unlike Wally’s impulsive pranks, Joey’s mischief is more carefully planned. He enjoys setting up small, harmless tricks that require some creativity, like a fake voice-recording device or a sneaky gadget that plays sound effects. His pranks are never mean-spirited, and he always ensures they’re fun for everyone involved.

Collector of Lucky Charms: Joey believes in lucky objects and keeps a collection of small trinkets that make him feel secure. Whether it’s a cool rock, an old coin, or a gadget he built himself, each item has a story. When he’s nervous, he’ll reach into his pocket and hold onto one, giving himself a small boost of confidence when he needs it most.

Rainbow Monkey Collector: ( inspired by @kommandonuovidiavoli) to Kuki’s influence, Joey is absolutely obsessed with Rainbow Monkeys. He has his own collection, complete with rare editions and ones he’s customized himself. Each Rainbow Monkey has a special meaning to him, and he even talks to them when he needs comfort. His favorite is a rare, limited edition one that Kuki gifted him, which he keeps close at all times.

Budding 2x4 Tech Genius: Joey got into 2x4 technology thanks to Hoagie, who recognized his potential early on. While he’s still learning, Joey has a natural talent for building simple gadgets and modifying everyday objects into something more useful. His creations often reflect his creativity and problem-solving skills, making him a valuable asset when things need fixing.

Dedicated to Training: Though Joey isn’t naturally aggressive, he trains a lot with Wally to build up his strength and confidence. He admires his older brother’s combat skills and wants to prove himself capable, even if his fighting style is more calculated and defensive rather than brute force. While Wally teases him about taking things too seriously, he secretly respects Joey’s dedication.

Dodgeball Prodigy: Just like in canon, Joey is a dodgeball master, and it’s one of the few areas where he feels completely confident. Despite his softer nature, he’s incredibly skilled at dodging, predicting movements, and throwing with precision. He may not be the strongest, but his quick reflexes and strategy make him a formidable player.

Living in Wally’s Shadow: Being Wally’s little brother comes with high expectations, especially in the KND. Joey constantly feels like he has to live up to Wally’s reputation as a fearless fighter, but he wants to make a name for himself in his own way. While he admires his brother, he struggles with the pressure of being compared to him and works hard to prove that he’s more than just “Wally’s little brother.”

Scared of Thunder: Despite his bravery in other areas, Joey has an intense fear of thunder. Whenever a storm rolls in, he gets anxious and often hides under blankets or covers his ears with headphones. If Wally or Kuki are around, they’ll distract him or offer silent support, pretending not to notice when he clings to them.

Honor Roll Kid with a Wild Side: Joey is part of the KND Honor Roll, excelling in strategy and tech-based missions. While he’s proud of his intelligence, he worries that people see him as too much of a “goody-goody.” He occasionally tries to prove he’s cool by taking risks—though his cautious nature always keeps him from going too far.

Bullied for Being "Too Soft": Joey’s gentle and emotional nature makes him a target for bullies, who see him as weak compared to Wally. One of these bullies knocked out one of his teeth, a reminder of the struggles he faces. While the bullying hurts, Joey tries not to let it define him, slowly learning to stand up for himself in his own way.

Lowkey Competitive: While Joey doesn’t seem like the competitive type, he actually hates losing—especially when it comes to strategy games or tech-related challenges. He’s not a sore loser, but he takes losses personally and will work twice as hard to improve afterward. If someone beats him at dodgeball, he’ll practice for hours until he can win the rematch.

Tends to Over-Apologize: Due to his self-doubt and sensitivity, Joey has a habit of apologizing too much, even when things aren’t his fault. If he accidentally bumps into someone, forgets something, or doesn’t perform perfectly, he’ll immediately apologize. His friends try to help him break the habit by reminding him he doesn’t have to take responsibility for everything.

Secretly Loves Compliments: Joey struggles with self-confidence, so whenever someone genuinely praises him, it means the world to him. He doesn’t always know how to respond, often brushing it off or getting flustered, but deep down, those words stick with him. If Wally or Kuki ever say they’re proud of him, he’ll remember it for days.

Clingy Sleepr:Joey is an incredibly clingy sleeper, a habit that has stuck with him since he was little. No matter where he dozes off or who he's next to, he instinctively gravitates toward warmth and ends up latching onto them in his sleep. Whether it’s Wally, his dad, or even Oreo the cat, Joey will unconsciously wrap his arms around them, refusing to let go until morning. Wally has lost count of how many times he’s woken up with Joey practically draped over him like a backpack.

Chaotic 2x4 Tech Creations: Joey’s approach to 2x4 tech is wild and experimental. His inventions are often unpredictable, sometimes overcomplicated, and filled with unnecessary (but fun) extra features. While his tech isn’t always reliable, when it works, it’s both impressive and terrifying.

Nerdy Yet Athletic: Though he’s a tech nerd and strategist, Joey is still an athlete. He enjoys running, climbing, and dodgeball, making him more physically active than people expect. His mix of brains and agility allows him to surprise opponents who underestimate his abilities.

Snack Hoarder: Joey always carries snacks with him, whether it’s candy, chips, or energy bars. He claims it’s for “emergencies,” but really, he just likes having something to munch on. His friends know to check his pockets if they ever get hungry.

Unintentional Trouble Magnet: Even when he’s not trying to cause chaos, trouble seems to follow Joey. Whether it’s his tech malfunctioning at the worst moment or getting caught up in a wild mission, he has a way of stumbling into ridiculous situations. He’s learned to just roll with it.

Loves Listening to Music While Working: Whenever Joey is building something or sketching, he always has music playing. His taste is a weird mix of upbeat, high-energy tracks (inspired by Wally) and soothing, instrumental pieces (which help him focus). If he’s really into a project, he’ll start humming along without realizing it.

Missing Tooth from a Bully Encounter: Joey’s softer nature makes him a target for bullies, and one particularly bad scuffle led to him losing a tooth. Though it initially made him self-conscious, he later embraced it as a sign of resilience. Wally was furious when he found out and made sure the bullies never messed with Joey again.

Strong, But Doesn’t Realize It: Thanks to his training with Wally, Joey is stronger than he thinks. He assumes he’s weak compared to his brother, but in reality, his agility and endurance make him a formidable opponent. He just doesn’t see it himself, often brushing off compliments about his strength.

Photographic Memory: Joey has an uncanny ability to remember details, whether it's blueprints, battle plans, or even where someone left their lost sock. This makes him a fast learner in both academics and 2x4 technology, but it also means he sometimes struggles to forget bad experiences, making certain memories hard to shake.

Wally is His Safe Space:No matter how tough Joey tries to be, when he's truly scared or overwhelmed, he always seeks out Wally. Whether it’s after a bad dream, a rough mission, or just feeling down, he knows Wally’s arms are the safest place in the world. Even as he gets older, Wally remains his number one source of comfort.

Idolizes Wally, but Fears He’ll Never Measure Up: Joey worships the ground Wally walks on, seeing him as the ultimate hero. While this admiration motivates him, it also creates pressure—Joey constantly fears he’ll never be as brave, strong, or cool as his big brother. He’s working on realizing that being like Wally doesn’t mean being identical to him.

Obsessed with Making the ‘Perfect’ Gadget: Joey’s perfectionism shines in his inventing. While he’s a great innovator, he often won’t be satisfied with a device until it’s flawless. He’s been known to scrap entire projects just because they weren’t exactly what he envisioned, much to Hoagie’s amusement and Wally’s frustration.

Struggles with Standing Up for Himself: Joey is great at defending others but finds it hard to do the same for himself. If someone insults him, he’s more likely to brush it off rather than fight back. Wally constantly reminds him that his feelings do matter and that he should stand up for himself just as much as he does for others.

A Surprisingly Good Climber: Thanks to all the training with Wally, Joey has developed strong climbing skills. Whether it’s scaling fences, climbing trees, or navigating jungle gyms, he’s agile and quick. He doesn’t think much of it, but it often comes in handy during missions when he needs to reach high places.

Overwhelmed by Stress: Joey has a tendency to become easily overwhelmed when things pile up—whether it’s schoolwork, mission plans, or just life in general. His anxiety sometimes manifests physically, making it hard for him to focus or even breathe when he feels like everything is too much. When this happens, Wally is usually there to calm him down, reminding him that he doesn’t have to carry the weight alone. Joey’s learning how to step back and take things one at a time, though it’s still a work in progress.

Learning Sign Language:(inspired by @kommandonuovidiavoli) realizing that he sometimes has trouble expressing himself verbally when stressed or upset, Joey began learning sign language. His motivation was not only to improve his communication but also to bond with his family in a new way. He feels a deep sense of satisfaction when he successfully uses signs to convey something meaningful, and it’s an empowering tool for when words fall short.

Avid Gamer: Despite his tendency to be more artsy and introspective, Joey has a love for video games, particularly strategy-based and puzzle games. He enjoys the challenge of solving problems and defeating tough bosses. He’s always up for a friendly competition with Wally, although he doesn’t mind if he loses, since he simply enjoys the escape. Gaming allows Joey to unwind and also serves as a way to bond with his friends, particularly in the moments when he needs a break from the real world.

Shark Bite Survivor: Joey has a small, but noticeable shark bite scar on his left shoulder. He got it during a family vacation when he was younger and accidentally swam too far from the shore. The incident scared him and, to this day, he’s a little wary of the ocean, but it also taught him how to face fear head-on. The scar has become a reminder of his resilience and his ability to bounce back from traumatic experiences. Despite the way it looks, Joey doesn’t mind talking about it—it’s a part of him now, and he’s proud of how he handled the situation.

Passion for Animals: Joey has a soft spot for animals and often goes out of his way to care for stray pets or animals in need. He loves spending time with the family pets, talking to them as if they understand him. If there’s ever an injured animal in the area, Joey is the first to rush over, offering comfort and trying to help in any way he can. His deep empathy for animals reflects his caring nature and desire to make the world a better place.

Sensitive to Others' Emotions: Joey has an innate ability to sense when something is wrong with someone, even if they don’t express it. His empathy is one of his strongest traits, and he can often pick up on subtle cues like body language or tone of voice. He’s the first to approach someone who’s upset, even if they don’t speak about it right away. Joey finds comfort in helping others work through their feelings, which in turn helps him feel more in control of his own emotions.

Joey's relationship:

His Family

Sydney: Joey has an immense admiration for his father, Sydney, who has proven time and time again that he’s capable of handling life’s hardest challenges. As a single parent, Sydney’s positivity and unwavering support are the anchors that keep Joey grounded. Even when the family is struggling or feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders, Sydney manages to stay optimistic, which inspires Joey to view the world through a hopeful lens. He sees his dad’s resilience and determination as qualities to strive for, believing that as long as they stick together, they can face anything life throws their way. Joey often reflects on how Sydney has kept their family together despite the absence of his mother, and this only strengthens his admiration. Sydney may not always show it, but his strength is something Joey aspires to emulate, particularly in the way he supports everyone around him. To Joey, his father isn’t just a parent—he’s a role model, and he feels incredibly grateful for Sydney’s constant presence and love. Whenever Joey feels uncertain about the future, he knows he can count on Sydney to be there for him with words of wisdom and encouragement, providing the guidance he needs to keep moving forward.

Wally: Joey looks up to his older brother Wally more than anyone else in the world. Wally is his hero—someone who has always been there for him, whether it’s comforting him when he’s scared, teasing him playfully, or stepping up to take care of him in times of need. Joey has always admired Wally’s fearless attitude and his unshakable confidence, though deep down, he knows Wally has vulnerabilities that only he, as his brother, can understand. Despite their teasing, their sibling bond runs deep, and Joey would do anything to protect Wally and show him how much he’s loved. Wally’s support is the foundation on which Joey builds his own sense of self-worth. He wants to be strong like his older brother and live up to the high standards Wally has set for him. Their closeness allows Joey to confide in Wally when things get tough, knowing that no matter what happens, his brother will always have his back. While their playful moments might be full of teasing, Joey knows that Wally’s love for him is unconditional, and he takes comfort in that. Wally is Joey’s rock—the person he turns to in times of trouble, and he hopes that one day he’ll be able to offer the same unwavering support and guidance to his older brother in return.

Mrs. Beetles: Joey doesn't have many memories of his mother, but the stories his father and Wally share about her have left a lasting impression on him. He often asks Sydney about her, eager to understand what kind of woman she was, and to keep her memory alive in his heart. Through these stories, Joey feels an emotional connection to a mother he never truly knew, and while it’s bittersweet, he cherishes the little bits of her life that he’s learned about. He often reflects on how his mom was a guiding force in their family, her presence still felt even though she’s gone. Joey strives to live in a way that would make her proud, believing that by doing so, he can carry on her legacy. Even though she’s not physically with him, Joey feels her love surrounding him, especially during moments when he feels lost or uncertain. He wishes he could have had more time with her to understand who she truly was, but he takes solace in the idea that she lives on in his heart, shaping his values and the way he approaches the world.

Lou (Toilenator): Joey finds his uncle Lou, the Toilenator, to be a bit of a strange figure in his life. He doesn’t fully understand or connect with Lou’s bumbling villainous nature, and while he doesn’t share in his uncle’s antics, he accepts him as part of the family. Lou’s eccentricities often leave Joey feeling bewildered, especially when he’s caught up in some of his outlandish plans. Joey doesn’t see Lou as a typical family member, and he often wonders why his uncle acts the way he does. However, despite his confusion, Joey understands that Lou is family, and he respects the fact that his uncle is always around, even if it’s in a quirky and unpredictable way. There’s an element of amusement in the way Lou behaves, even if Joey doesn’t always find it entertaining. He’s learned to tolerate Lou’s antics, and even if he doesn’t always appreciate them, he still acknowledges Lou’s place in their lives.

Oreo (His Cat): Joey has a special bond with Oreo, their family cat, who provides him with comfort and companionship. Oreo is more than just a pet—she’s a constant source of peace and emotional support, especially during times when Joey feels overwhelmed or scared. Whether it’s curling up with Oreo on the couch after a long day or simply sitting in the quiet together, Joey finds solace in her presence. Oreo seems to understand when Joey needs someone to listen without speaking, and her calm demeanor helps him feel less alone in the world. Joey enjoys showering Oreo with affection, treating her like a true member of the family. He knows that no matter what happens, Oreo will always be there for him, offering her quiet companionship when he needs it most. Just like Wally, Joey feels a deep connection to Oreo, and he takes comfort in the simple act of being with her, especially during moments when he feels uncertain or anxious. Oreo’s love is unconditional, and that’s exactly the kind of support Joey needs.

Sector V

Nigel (Numbuh 1): Joey’s relationship with Nigel is one of admiration and respect. Though Nigel can come off as intense and serious, Joey sees the soft, caring side of him that others may miss. He admires how dedicated and disciplined Nigel is, and he strives to be like him in many ways, particularly when it comes to leadership. While Joey might not fully understand the weight of the responsibility Nigel carries as the leader of Sector V, he does see the sacrifices Nigel makes for the team and the cause. Joey looks up to Nigel as someone who is strong, reliable, and dependable, and he often finds himself trying to meet the high expectations that Nigel seems to set for everyone. He respects how much Nigel cares for the team, even if he has a hard time showing it. Despite their differences in personality, Joey knows that Nigel has his back, and he would do anything to prove himself worthy of Nigel’s trust and respect.

Hoagie (Numbuh 2): Joey adores Hoagie for his fun-loving nature and creative genius. He looks up to Hoagie as a big brother who always knows how to lighten the mood, and he loves learning about 2x4 tech from him. Hoagie’s humor, wild ideas, and inventiveness make him someone Joey can always turn to for a good laugh or a cool new invention to tinker with. Joey respects Hoagie’s brilliance and his ability to turn any crazy idea into a reality. Though Hoagie’s wild schemes and pranks can sometimes get a little out of hand, Joey appreciates that about him. He admires Hoagie’s free-spirited approach to life, and it inspires Joey to be more spontaneous and creative in his own way. While Hoagie’s antics may sometimes leave Joey in stitches or feeling a little frazzled, he knows that Hoagie’s loyalty and support are unwavering. Hoagie is the big brother Joey never had, and he is grateful to have him as a mentor and friend.

Kuki (Numbuh 3): Joey has a special connection with Kuki, one that goes beyond their shared love for Rainbow Monkeys. Kuki’s infectious optimism and boundless energy make her someone Joey feels completely comfortable around. She has this way of making everything seem brighter, even in the darkest of times. Joey admires how Kuki is always so positive and upbeat, no matter what life throws her way, and he often turns to her when he needs a boost of happiness. Their shared love for Rainbow Monkeys creates a bond between them that’s unique, and Joey feels that Kuki truly understands him in a way that others might not. Though she’s the more outgoing and energetic one, Joey sees Kuki as a big sister figure who is always there to support him and cheer him on. He loves spending time with her, whether it’s talking about their favorite toys or just goofing around, and he feels lucky to have her in his life. Kuki’s kindness and big heart make her someone Joey can always count on.

Abby (Numbuh 5): Joey sees Abby as the cool older sister figure in his life, someone he can rely on and look up to. Abby’s natural leadership skills, coupled with her ability to stay calm under pressure, make her someone Joey admires deeply. He loves the way Abby always seems to have everything under control, whether she’s giving him advice or helping him out of a jam. Joey often turns to Abby when he needs reassurance, and she always seems to know the right thing to say to make him feel better. Her down-to-earth attitude and wisdom make her a steady, calming presence in his life, and her protective nature makes him feel safe, even when the world around him is chaotic. Joey has a deep respect for Abby, and though he may not always show it, he values her more than he can express. He knows that she will always be there for him, and he would do anything to make her proud. Abby’s cool demeanor and sense of humor are exactly what Joey needs in an older sibling, and he cherishes their bond deeply.

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8 for March 23, 2024

As James promised, we've got a second post for this month. No news or anything to go along with it, so let's just jump straight in!

Jane is evidently not handling things well.

Ah, good! We've got a link to the previous conversation. This can be very helpful for dealing with timeline shenanigans in the middle of pesterlogs. I just hope they're not too worried about our ability to put together where we are in the story. I mean if we've stuck around this long . . .

Jane's paranoia is building, but she appears to have not noticed Jake is spying on her. Still she seems somewhat overconfident in her abilities. To be fair, she has been dodging and surviving assassination attempts since childhood.

Wait! Jane on the moon? I thought that wasn't canon! Well, if anything on Earth C past the credits are supposed to be canon at least. I wonder if that means we might return to some of the sprite shenanigans?

Oh wow! This is a tirade and a half! The worst part is a lot of it is true. We know Jake wasn't the best parent for Jade, and we know now about Joey and Jude. But still, I got the impression Jake was much more in Tavvy's life than Jane was. And seriously! Forcing a premature pregnancy with Life powers? The hell! Worst part is when it comes to Homestuck's worst guardians, I'm pretty sure that only barely breaks top 5.

I'm dying! Jake is doing a Gamzee impression and Dirk can't take it!

Well that's a sentence I just read.

Jegus, Tavvy is still very much definitely in the running for worst childhood though . . .

Of all the things to say . . . No! No Jane! You don't get to claim any LGBTQ+ Allyship!

Still, although the Candy timeline is pushing things to an extreme, this is a side of Jane I don't think ever got considered. Jane has been training all her life to be a public figure, to be an Empress really. And as much as I love them, a bunch of idiot teenagers created a civilization and then just let it build for 5,000 years. From the previous iteration of beyond Canon, it seems the Exiles were the true guides until the kids returned.

And Jane saw a group of adoring, worshipful people greet them and knew she needed to step up. It just sucks she couldn't bring herself to truly include the Trolls in that.

Yeah, I'm with Dirk on this one. Wow! Jane blamed Jake for Dirk's death. Just, wow . . . And here I thought Jake was the one who never truly understood their friends.

All and all this was a really painful conversation. I think this one might have been worse than the one between Jade, Rose, and Kanaya. Why do some of the worst conversations in this story take place between Jake and Jane. From reading this, I'm really getting the impression they've always been more codependent than actually in love.

Oh fuck! That really fucking sells it!

I'm at a loss for words. I don't know if this is going to actually stick, or what Jake will actually do when I press, "Page of Hope: Rise up." but that was one hell of a way to realize an epiphany.

Wait, no! That's it! Like I get the reference but really! We're just going to open the door and leave it there!

Oh who am I kidding! How can I be in this fandom and honestly complain about an ending to an upd8 like this. Yes, I want it to keep going! Yes, I wanted a flash video to start! But how many times has this story kept me waiting? Let's just hope we don't have too much longer.

[halfusek]

man. batdr archives. what

i hate them

sorry im gonna go full on hater mode here because oh my god? oh my god

i’ve got a sneaking suspicion that this came out now as damage control for the AI thing because 1. it wasn’t included in the game all along like BATIM’s archives were and 2. this tweet

like was it thrown together in such a rush that they forgot a whole ass character?

or it is a joke and was a planned action half a year after the game came out but eh who knows

either way this is not what i’m here to rant about (cuz im sure this is gonna turn to a rant)

it’s about bad writing, bad exposition and bad game design. buckle up!

i see what they mean with the smile being a challenge to create, you can see in countless animations for fansongs how different artists tackled that and for one i think they did that very well

however. why the clothes exactly? is it just a meta reason with no reasoning in-universe whatsoever?

and look i’m not a fan of the ink demon having a voice (though i respect the craft behind it, the voice actor is very talented, it’s just a personal preference) BUT if you made the ink demon talk you should by logical extension either make toon bendy talk as well or explain why the hell he’s talking? i can see it being distracting but there are characters that have squeaky annoying voices in games and they’re fine (and it’s not like toon bendy is around the player for a super long time)

i dunno what logic this whole thing operates on anymore but if joey commissioned the ink machine then it should be his and arch gate got all his shit after he passed away so idk what retrieve is supposed to mean here

but it could just be badly written sentences and the archive is full of those (once again making me think that the thing was done in a rush)

that’s fair i guess

yall did make him look like a generic demon tho

i mean... it could be worse? if the goal was to make him look out of place then it was achieved but idk if it’s actually a good thing

i do like the bit about Wilson influencing how things look under him being in control of the cycle (though they have a very silly definition about what the cycle is but more about that later)

dude. the beast bendy design was already bad in BATIM and they made it even worse in BATDR like what TToTT

its just an angry mountain of muscles, the batim design at least had that leg injury thing going on which made moving with front arms make more sense, this dude right here is just a big inky gorilla (and not in a good way)

playing as the final form in on itself isnt a bad idea, does sound quite fun, personally tho i did not enjoy the very ending on the game

i dunno it just felt weird and all the other characters randomly appearing and the lost ones attacking being so awkward and ink demon acting as if they could kill you... nah man i wasn’t feeling it

okay so lets get this straight

cycle = a series of events that repeat

breaking the cycle would mean doing something different and stopping the cycle from continuing (so what... wilson was doing actually)

saying that making it restart again is what breaking it means is just??? no?

“satisfying face reveal” welp. each to their own XD

i see their purpose theme and thats neat and all but man do i hate how henry in this game is just. there and how some stranger is the person helping him get out of his horrible fate like its sooooooo unsatisfying

yeah she got more personality ill give her that

but she’s not a beacon of hope. she’s a beacon of tearing away the satisfaction of defeating a villain that we as the player worked hard towards

and uh... isn’t getting thrown into a horrible dimension full of monsters that audrey isn’t familiar with and is supposed to be freaked out about a bad moment to introduce a familiar face? like from a writing perspective, because it happens nearly instantly as chapter one starts

shouldn’t audrey be unmotivated then and struggling to figure out the world on her own? the player should also be haunted at this world, like it’s a horror game bestie ! don’t make me comfortable

well glad to hear the confirmation on that batds is happening in pararel to batdr

but his involvement in the main story is honestly such a nothing burger

is he there just so you can put batdr on the “can you pet the dog” site?

oh ok so what you’re basically putting down here is that he’s a boring perfect extremely rich guy, wasn’t even a bad father, completely stripping wilson’s arc of depth, cool, was afraid there would be something of substance powering the backbone of the plot of this game

and saying that both joey and wilson are worse people because theyre cringefail at business XDDDDDDDDDDD

ok here is something that im glad they addressed because ive been wondering about it - how audrey forgot that joey was her dad and how did she end up working at arch gate then

i suppose it implies that there’s something we might still learn/theorize about it, like for example if it was the machine drawing her in or gent wanting to get the machine back and manipulating things into place from behind the scenes

i really wonder how you can enter in and out the ink realm unnaturally but good to mention why he looks like that if he’s supposed to be nathan’s son

you cant just say that a character was important to the story, its not gonna happen from words

how is she important exactly? she just talks and uh.. helps audrey make the drink that makes you fall asleep? man that section of the game was Weird

i do want to like her, she seems nice and there could be interesting things to her backstory but as for the plot she really didn’t do much, sorry, betty

if you wanna say that pushing the plot forward by giving audrey that drink and then alice appearing outta nowhere and kidnapping here is a good big contribution then idk what to tell you... its such a bad way to make the plot progress, it was so confusing because characters were behaving as in forced to do Things to Progress the Plot (especially Audrey drinking that thing at all like seriously girl?? and Alice appearing comically at the last sip like wooooooow are you for real)

ah. so they were attempting a redemption arc

[saying this he didn’t threw aside the large rock. he was right to be holding the large rock]

this sucks man! what did joey help correct exactly? created more ink people to suffer eternally? wow, dude, thanks

also lmao what learned from his mistakes, did you HEAR his dialogue at the end of batim?? (an audrey can be heard right after that scene as well so isnt his whole change of heart supposed to be happening around here + allison has already been added to the squad)

it’s just... it’s just such bullshit man

you can make us like joey as a character but don’t you fucking dare make us like him as a person

bad. just bad

(aaaaaand this is the part that made me realize i wish the archives just. weren’t added! wow! i’m even surprised with myself with how much I Don’t Like them)

WHAT flaws??? hello??? please give it a big thinking and tell me what flaws does Audrey have im shaking and crying

also is her “deep dark past” supposed to just be like bEINg JoEY DRewS DAUghtER OOOoooOOo? lmao. wow so dark wow so deep

i dont know why this story needed a fresh pair of eyes because the story is that audrey is joeys daughter and that wilson is nathan archs son and that bendy is bendy. wow so deep so dark and complicated!!!!!!!11!!111

also whats the point of fresh eyes if you welcome us with familiar faces?

also sorry to break this to you but its not hard to stand out from the kinda cast that is presented to us in this game. sorry i cant decide if i care more about audrey or random employee number 24 with a random problem that i have 0 reason or time to get attached to. i seriously cant decide

suuuure we were so muddled xD oh you got us so good you sneaky little cheeky little quirky little

cant fucking believe we almost had a proper nathan arch jr and a secret one eyed villain that there was so much hype about and theories that they obviously tried to deliever here

its speculative but. knowing that they take inspiration from fan theories - they admitted to it and ex employees said so, i think we would have to be in some serious denial to think that @lucky-dreamfisher​‘s one-eyed bendy theory wasn’t meant to be represented here with wilson’s character

ALSO THIS NARRATIVE. THIS NARRATIVE HAS ZERO- NO, NEGATIVE AMOUNT OF COMPLEXITY

GOD

this story makes so much LESS sense based on what you said! aaaaaaaa we were so close to greatness

what is so wrong with not resetting the cycle then?

not that im a fan of how wilson was approaching things, he very clearly wanted to make himself the ruler of this realm and have power over everyone but sounds like that sure beats living under ink demons reign?

but also idk if this is entirely true like in batim chapter 5 we can see that lost ones were capable of making that lost harbour and sammy is later mentioned to have mastered a special ability too so??

i wish we learned more about the pit because it sounds quite interesting and we were working hard towards getting there and finally didnt get to see it at all (a shame! very unrewarding to the player)

im not gonna comment on reverting here cuz its a serious mental thing im not knowledgable about

i haaaate this

you... this is not how exposition is done!

show don’t tell?? how about SHOW don’t TELL??

what in the goddamn. you can’t just pull that outta your ass and say yep. this is how it is. bro. dude.

im referring here to the ink machine bit, the previous sentences can actually be seen in the story

but the design does not reflect what is written here

and they are doing so much of that in these archives, this telling of the story in a place that is not meant for telling of the story, you do that IN the STORY. rarghrgrh

surprise i found another nice thing: confirmation on that alice was the one who mutilated the butcher gang, cuz i dont think that was ever confirmed before but at least you can find implications of that in the game so its fine to outright confirm that here, good job about that

i dont know what theyre on about carley, she doesnt really look like that to me and ive looked at her model in the archives, in the files and at peoples renders of her and i just dont see it

but i guess it might mean it was like a suit that someone got stuck in- FNAF?!>!!>!?

no way. no fucking way

we got robbed what ToT

he was removed in favour of WHAT???? AMOK????

dude there ill be real. there’s barely anything that is worth keeping there instead of having him play a bigger role

and im not even that big on sammys character! hes one of my least liked characters personally even! but at least there is something more to him and just man after 5 years you could have given him more than just a dumb wilhelm scream joke, that almost feels like a spat in the face lmao

thanks for again confirming something though with that flow thing, as we noticed sammy uses gaps in the wall in batim chapter 2 to travel around the place

why not have him teach audrey the flow ability? imagine how could that would have been

im just baffled this exist but sammy apparently had to be cut out

lol

lmao

moving on

my brother in christ why are you making it a mystery if she will appear, she literally appeared in every game so far with quite major roles

also... what layers? sure in batim with her story (susie’s story) there sure been some layers, susie’s story in batim is probably aside from joey’s story the deepest character arc they got

but alice in batdr? she’s there to play a stupid game she set herself up to lose, get mad at that (eh?) shoot you and die

what layers, really

gender

but also idk i found the fight annoying and random, you could throw it out and not much of value would be lost, put sammy back in

YOU MADE HIM NOTHING

YOU TOOK A PERFECTLY FINE ENEMY AND GAVE IT ANXIETY THATS WHAT YOU DID /j /ref

idk if id describe the ink demon as putting the player on edge because he doesnt actually roam the place

you see a grey overlay on your screen and you need to hide or you die... which gets tiring fast and annoying

you totally could still have lurker (even if just restricted to some areas) as a free roaming monster

and the unlikely ally thing is just so bland like yeah he’s there, we know nothing about him aside from that he eats hearts, incredibly charming fella 

not thrilled by his design either but that issue i already had with the first trailer but i guess they just sticked with that

bendy devs not use mental illnesses as derogatory terms challenge

i like the crab boy design, he’s sillay

bro forgot a texture tho

so yeah not. happy with the archives

sorry if im like overly negative but ive honestly tried to give this sequel (because despite what they were saying it IS undoubtedly a sequel) my best assumptions and it turns out its nearly all the worst assumptions

its annoying, im annoyed

they should hire a writer to help them get this mess together, maybe get adrienne in on it, i dunno, because clearly if they need to be specific and not leaving things open like in batim, then they arent managing very well

they even fucking killed harold