#end of relationship

[maniccherrygirl]

[submissivefeminist]

My Handler/ex-fiancé is moving out today and my heart is crumbling into pieces right now. 💔

Giving myself a few days to grieve so if I'm not my usual slutty self for a little while, that's why. I know this is for the best but god, it hurts so much right now.

[look-a-diversion]

not to get personal to a bunch of strangers on the getting-personal-to-a-bunch-of-strangers platform, but mourning a friendship you chose to end is a really odd, specific kind of grief.

that thing you saw that made you think of them, who will you share it with?

that thing sitting on your desk that you hadn't gotten around to mailing to them, what will you do with it now?

that trick or skill they taught you, that resource they shared with you, that song they played you that you still like-- they're still part of your life, but now sometimes you feel sad and angry when they come up and wonder if you have a right to them anymore.

your friend isn’t dead. somewhere, they are alive and experiencing all the joys you would have celebrated with them and the pain you would have tried to support them through. they're having a day somewhere and you're not going to ask them how it's going. you're not going to talk about it. you're not going to laugh at those inside jokes you had with only them ever again. you'll never talk to them again. you could, but you can't. you could, but you won't.

it's for the best. you wouldn't have made the choice you did if you didn't sincerely believe that. but still, this strange grief for the living.

where do you put it?

[floweunoia]

if you knew

that every one of these poems

was about you

that I tried to make you happy

that I tried to make you smile

I could steal a star from the sky

just to make you mine

I am not angry or resentful

I am just sad

that I wasn't the one

and I swear,

when this stubborn flame

of foolish hope is extinguished,

I will stop writing these poems

I will learn to love and open up again

I will look at the clouds again

and point them out to others

and you don't know how much

I wish you the same

how much I want you to smile every day

and feel loved by the world

even if there will be no one

I will love you to the end

know that I was there

and I am.

Happier, 2024

[mmartinam]

il momento peggiore di una relazione non è la separazione della coppia, ma il momento di rottura dell'equilibrio che fino a prima rendeva tutto meraviglioso. Da quel momento in poi inizia la fase di stallo, dove qualsiasi gesto/parola fa triplicare il dolore che si prova, mettendo in crisi tutte le certezze che si avevano poco prima.

In questa fase ti senti preso dal panico, pensi che qualunque atto tu compia sarà un atto sbagliato che potrebbe far precipitare ancora più velocemente la fine della relazione. È terribile, ti senti in gabbia, ti senti soffocare ma rimani aggrappato a questo dolore pesante, che ti trascina a fondo, piuttosto che mollare tutto e rimanere nella spaventosa solitudine, nella spaventosa ipotesi che l'altra persona possa trovare qualcuno meglio di voi, nella spaventosa paura di rimanere senza la persona amata.

La fase di stallo ti logora dentro, ti mangia anima e cuore e ti fa piangere lacrime di amaro dolore.

[cookeybg]

Autumn's Loss of Petals - Chapter 5

Title: Autumn's Loss of Petals

Various POVs : Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Jay Nakamura

Tags: Angst, Loss of love, amnesia, brotherly love, familial love, will add more if relevant

Obviously, I do not own any of the rights to any of the DC comics, animated cartoons or movies and I am not getting paid to write this. This is purely for my enjoyment :)

Note: I will be experimenting with different POV's for this fic, but they will all be Damian-centric.

Word Count: 1,442

Table of Contents

Chapter 5 - Jay

Jay tried not to be a jealous boyfriend, there was not point, if Jon wanted to go find greener pastures how would he stop him? The only reason he was secure in their relationship was because he knew that the man kept himself with high moral standards due to his family’s upbringing, so he knew he would never betray him in that way. At least willingly, knowingly, he wouldn’t, but what if he wasn’t aware of his own disinterest? They had know each other for ten years, been together romantically for five, had even talked about marriage, but Jon had never popped the question. They were nearly thirty now and Jay wanted to start a family, though as the years went by the likelihood of it happening seemed null. He also realized that the majority of the responsibility would fall on him and he would have no right to complain because it would be selfish. His need would be weighed against that of a life and he couldn’t bare that, it was best that they remain childless. Jay tried not to be possessive, he knew that Jon’s time wasn’t fully his own, he had responsibilities, a greater purpose. It was hard. He saw his friends with their significant others, going out, spending all day together, enjoying vacations, while Jon and he had to make due with what was afforded, what Jon was able to give. Everything centered around Jon’s ability, his available time, on whether a crisis could make due without him. Again, it would be selfish he was able to phase through things, avoid danger, avoid death, while those Jon rescued could not. Recently Jon had been more distracted than normal, fidgety and cranky. Something about his childhood friend, Damian, the kid who rarely smiled in Jay’s presence. Well, he wasn’t a kid anymore, Jon had introduced them when Damian was 13 and he had always felt that the kid didn’t like him much, even if he was polite. Damian was a sore subject with them, especially in the beginning, it was strange that there was a five year age gap between them and they were still close friends, that is before Jay knew about Jon’s extracurricular activities. Then the shock of finding out that Jon’s best friend was the child of a famous billionaire had forced him to sit, had given weight to the conspiracies he believed, made him a bit resentful that he couldn’t write about them and let the world know. Damian’s presence was nonnegotiable and the kid seemed smug about it.

Jon would constantly talk about Damian, spoke about his family almost as much as he spoke about his own. In the last couple of weeks he had been complaining about the Wayne family, it had started when he had suddenly rushed out of their bedroom during their steamy time together. Leaving Jay needy and unsatisfied, but he understood, had said that “Dami’s” heart had stopped. When he returned he had been upset, livid even, that the Wayne’s refused to let him stay, stating that it was a family matter. Jay had to agree, Damian was not Jon’s responsibility, the kid was now an adult…it had been a mistake to say that out loud and it had spiraled into an argument of epic proportions. Jon even went as far as to leave and not return for the night. The subject was not brought up again, but the tension in their one bedroom apartment still lingered. Jon had kept leaving to go and try to meet up with Damian but had been rebuffed over and over again, according to him, quite spitefully. It had gotten so bad that the former Superman had to put a stop to it, only then did Jon stay put. They both sat at their small dinner table eating chicken fettuccine, a new recipe that Jay had tried making. He was pretty proud of the accomplishment, since he wasn’t very good at cooking western dishes, and was giving Jon a recount when he suddenly stiffened. “Emergency?” Jay asked with concern. “No,” Jon stood, a determined expression on his face, “Damian’s back from his retreat.” Jay slowly put his fork down, frowning at Jon’s obvious next move. “Jon, you were told to stop.” Jay said. “Damian wouldn’t,” Jon jut his chin out stubbornly, “He wouldn’t let anyone stop him from seeing someone he cared about.” “But, his whole family is telling you to wait, that right now is not the right time to-“ “It’s nearly been a month!” Jon yelled, his palms hitting the table, “A whole month, without a single text, without an explanation, without being able to see him! It’s worse than when he goes on a mission that requires him to fall off the face of the earth, I could always see him regardless!” “They said it was a family-“ “I AM FAMILY! I’ve known him my whole life!” “You’ve known him nearly the same amount of time as I have!” Jay stood so quickly that his chair fell backward, “You were gone for seven years and only knew him for one before that!” Jon looked as if he’d been slapped, before Jay could apologize he was gone. The only evidence of his passing were the curtains fluttering in the still room, the fall chill quickly cooling Jay’s frustration. He righted the dinning chair, cleaned up the kitchen, put away the leftovers and messaged some friends to go out for the night. He needed a drink.

Jay took his shoes off, put them on the shoe rack and leaned his forehead against the wall, he lightly banged it for good measure. He was exhausted, nothing was going right in his life; his car had broken down, so he now needed a new one, he had made a mistake at work, a mistake that had somehow gone through editing, somehow passed into being published and now he had to correct said mistake. To top it all off he had an absentee boyfriend who found his best friend to be more important than him. A person could only handle so much. He dropped his bag on the living room chair, the plan was to take a long bath. He walked into the bedroom only to be startled by Jon covered in blankets, sitting in the center of their bed. Jay sighed, he wasn’t sure if he could handle this right now, his nerves were shot. He was about to head straight to the bathroom when Jon looked up and started to talk. “I couldn’t see him, again. Tim had called in a favor from Kon and he stopped me from approaching.” Jon shrugged, “He was sleeping anyway.” “Oh, that sucks.” Jay grabbed a pair of clean boxer briefs from the drawer and continued towards the bathroom. Maybe he could use the new bath bomb he bought at the mall. He heard Jon move on the bed, the noise of the blankets lightly falling to the ground. “Don’t you care?” Jon asked, the pitch of his voice rising. “No, not really.” Jay said, one foot out the doorway. “How can you be so selfish?” Jon asked. “Selfish?” Jay spun around to face Jon in disbelief, “Selfish! Is that really what you want to accuse me of? I’ve been nothing but patient and understanding!” Jay’s voice grew louder with every word, “Do you think, it’s easy being second in your life to everything else? Do you think it’s easy going out by myself, to sleep alone at night eighty percent of the time, to be stared at in restaurants as if I’ve been stood up?” Jay stood in front of Jon breathing heavily, “I want to be selfish! I want the person I love to chose me! But, that would be selfish!” “Jay-“ “No.” Jay held up a finger, “No. I think this relationship has run its course.” Jon stared at Jay in disbelief, his mouth flapping open then closed, “I’m tired, Jon, so tired. I want my life to move forward, but its been in stasis, dependent on you, revolving around you,” Jay’s voice cracked, but he refused to let himself cry, “I love you, but I don’t think this is healthy for me anymore. Please, let’s just end it.” “Okay,” Jon cleared his throat, “okay, I-I’m sorry.” Jay was left alone again, like many times before. He squared his shoulders, marched into the bathroom, prepared his bath and cried ugly tears on the bathroom floor, the hot steam making it difficult to breathe.

Author's note:

So I was originally going to make this chapter Jon's POV, but it felt better to make it Jay's. I really sympathize with Jay here, poor guy.

Also, I don't know much about Jay, I honestly kinda hated him when I first found out about him, but now I'm pretty apathetic about him. I mean this is Jon's first relationship, right out of coming back from his "trip" I don't think it will last very long. Just my opinion with no true basis.

[sundriedsymphonies]

words from someone I used to love.

[secretmangosworld]

This Summer wasn't summering but it did teach me that it is okay to let go of others.Having no expectations can save your feelings from getting hurt.So never set for less choose people that choose you and live the life the way you want.

[youreastargirl]

He calls me fragile Like it’s an insult Someone who would cry And not be able to withstand Someone saying stop crying you little bitch

Like his other woman could

Could a fragile person have Built a career Raised a child All while traversing two decades of The precarious balancing act of trying.to.make.you.happy

A fragile thing loved can last for thousands of years

A fragile thing broken says more about the carelessness of the owner than the thing itself

A fragile thing broken can be mended with gold if someone cares to

Could a fragile person have survived 20 years of That message doesn’t mean what you think it means Of course it’s normal for me to buy her jewelry She’s just a friend why are you overreacting

Could a fragile person be standing up today to say

You don’t get to define me anymore

Could a fragile person have survived This conversation With only bewildering confusion about who the fuck you think you’re talking to

Could a fragile person have survived You

And be on her way out?

[ylaka]

Doing with them everything you've done to me. I feel horrible sometimes, but at least no one can hurt me like you once did.

[maniccherrygirl]

And as the years go by, the other woman will spend her life alone..

[pininginthegroves]

Gods, I miss you so much

Every minute I find something new I want to share with you

But silence reigns, and it’s my fault

I’m sorry

God, I’m sorry

[rebe90]

How I buried my first lover Pascal for ever under a thick layer of paint

[floweunoia]

I'm well used to people leaving my life

I'm always the one holding the door

And You decide whether you want to walk in or walk out

But don't be surprised that when you want to come back, they will be closed.

Happier, 2023

[cachamata]

203 in Prequel Era :)

(Click the pic for better resolution before you save them)

[This is a request from someone i know on pixiv back then; the pose and matery are from them as well]

[camerarchives]

I miss her.

It was a long time ago...

L.