pininginthegroves

[pininginthegroves]

Most days, I’m happy

But I still miss you

I’m not brave enough to put in the work to bring you back into my life

But I miss you

I hope you’re doing well

[pininginthegroves]

Sometimes Hozier comes on, and it gets a little harder to breathe for a moment.

Most days I think I’m at peace with the change,

That I’ve come to find a new place for myself amongst life’s ever-shifting sands.

But some days, I grieve a life that was mine for such a brief moment-

A candle in the wind, compared to the future before me, and the whole of the past left behind.

I miss the light you gave me

Learning how to shine on my own feels hollow without you

[pininginthegroves]

[pininginthegroves]

You don't understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need.

[pininginthegroves]

Doomscrolling tinder like god someone give me a hug

[pininginthegroves]

[pininginthegroves]

I’m boiling inside

I want to light myself aflame again

But all it will do

Is estrange me from you

So I hope that you hear me when I say

I’m sorry

I want to do better

But I have so little understanding of what that means

[pininginthegroves]

Fuck, man, I can’t make up my mind

They’re here, and I’m home, but it feels like all the windows are open

I’m so cold

And I don’t know how to find the warmth again

Sometimes I wish you hadn’t called, that night

I was so close

And you pulled me right back into life’s harsh light

I don’t know how to look at you without seeing what I’ve lost

I don’t know how to say goodbye

[pininginthegroves]

I am going to be. So normal about this

[pininginthegroves]

The fact that the answer to subconsciously paying way too much attention to yourself is to…consciously pay more attention to yourself feels like the most sus bullshit ever. This shit feels like a trap

[pininginthegroves]

Of course you lost yourself in me.

How could you not?

I lost myself in me.

The vortex in my chest is vast and dark.

You called me sunshine,

But I was a supernova.

And we’re all left in the darkness again.

[pininginthegroves]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

[pininginthegroves]

mitski / tamino / trista mateer

[pininginthegroves]

It’s what I do, [name]. I build mansions with my bare hands for the people I love to spend our futures together in. And one morning, I’ll wake up to find I’m sleeping on a park bench, my keys missing, and someone else sleeping on my side of the bed.

I just let you both in, this time. It’s easier. And it means I get to spend more time with you both

[pininginthegroves]

[pininginthegroves]

My skin feels like it’s peeling from my bones

And my chest feels hollow in a way that I have never experienced before

I’m just

Lost

[pininginthegroves]

What the fuck am I supposed to do

Bruce brought his schedule home today to plan the move

He’s asking me about final details and I can’t breathe

Fuck